#I'm a bit crazy
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The confession blog is my home. I don't even send things regularly. I just love seeing how human mind works, how opinions are presented in an anonymous context. It fascinates me. Please never stop, guys.
#hamilton fandom#hamilton#I'm a bit crazy#who isnt atp?#I feel home amongst chaos.#just like on the 9th circle of hell (twitter)#I miss it so much
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So... as I am freezed on most of my WIP where everything sounds wrong to me, I decided to go with this one. I wrote the beginning a few weeks ago and it's directly inspired by one of my current read : Andrea Wulf's "an history of Nature" (I read the French translation as I found it second hand), which is an Alexander Von Humboldt biography (and a total feeder for my "18-19th century history of natural sciences" obsession)
So, as I was blocked, I decided to try something New(t) and the journal form should be freeing as entries are short and it's not "structured" as fiction(I'll see with time, I guess).
For now it's just the foreword.
Rolf Scamander speaking in this excerpt :
A long time ago, when I announced my decision to travel the world to study Nature, my grandfather gave me the most wonderful gift. He offered me his illustrious suitcase, charmed by his own grandfather a century before that. As all the Wizarding World knows now, the magic object accompanied Newt Scamander during his naturalist adventures and played such a role in our History that this case may be as (most?) famous as his carrier.
Let me tell you that this passing of the baton, as I undertook my own expedition (just out – as himself in his time – from teenage years’ hiccups), sounded like a colossal token of trust from him, but as much underlined the expectations that the association between my family name and my personal aspirations raised in our community.
Here is the link
I hope you'll enjoy !
#newt scamander#fantastic beasts#newtina#rolf scamander#fantastic beasts and where to find them#autistic newt scamander#journal#I'm a bit crazy#maybe not a bit#i guess#but that’s fun#fantastic beasts fanfiction#fic : being newt scamander
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am i a little delulu? yes. do i firmly believe i can have a chance with mike faist? yes.
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I want to be in a threesome with both bi men talking about me as if I'm not present, "Look how wet she is." "How bad do you want to fuck her?" "What position do you want her in?" "She's got you so hard, look at you, you're throbbing."
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Hornetpocalypse! I'm a bit late
I still want to draw more designs but I can't add more
Designs belong to: @featherlouise, @dooblebugss, @raddest-laddest, @alexparozi, @xylo-art, @little-demy , @tenyardstowitchyard , me, @orion46037 , @conconpasta , @misslimao0, @ostebee, @rainyreyn9, @little- -ghost, @artistlara, @hakunoknight , @honorrry, @doodledrawsthings , @thehappiestgolucky , @foileadeux , @bug-game-blogging , @abugshapedeldritchbeing, @cheese-grater-terminator , @malk-with-tea , @byfulcrums , @sad-ist, @mewnia, @dairyfreenugget , @gncbozo , @charlie-jpeg , @theellipelli , @pseudepigraphon
Everyone's Hornets are so beautiful, I've never been so happy to come back to this fd
#hk#hollow knight#hollow knight fanart#hk gijinka#hk hornet#hollow knight gijinka#hollow knight hornet#my art#@sad-ist is the reason why I decided to draw hk gijinka when I was in fd around 2018-20 ago#I know I'm a bit crazy#hornetpocalypse
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HYUNJIN | "JJAM" MV TEASER
#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#stray kids#bystay#createskz#staysource#staydaily#a9gifs#flashing tw#*gif#*ccarly#*hyunjin#*carly:hyunjin#skz i need u to commit to this goofy horror bit so bad. if the mv isn't actually like this i will b mad#i'm so excited actually!!!#also he's crazy.#have never wanted a man to bite me in my life more than i have now#granted i have not wanted men to bite me much in my life at all but. still
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"Tumor"
#HOLY SHIT AN ACTUAL SHITPOST???#NO WAY CHAT#THEY'LL THINK I'M CRAZY!!!#I was crazy once#anyway...#your girl is ganna go silent for a bit i needs a rest#+ college is right around the corner and they want a bite from my big fat juicy ass#LM animation#undertale yellow#uty#uty starlo#uty clover#undertale yellow clover#undertale yellow starlo#shitpost#artists on tumblr#clip studio paint
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last two episodes like
Charlie made a deal with Alastor VINEBOOM Alastor verbally confirmed asexual in the show VINEBOOM Vaggie has wings VINEBOOM Alastor could see himself getting attached to all of them VINEBOOM Vox is hard for Alastor??? Vineboom??? Pentious kissed then died VINEBOOM Lucifer is here VINEBOOM Alastor is missing VINEBOOM Adam is dead VINEBOOM Vox is still abnormal about Alastor VINEBOOM Alastor is back and desperate to get out of his deal VINEBOOM PENTIOUS GOT REDEEMED AND LILITH IS IN HEAVEN VINEBOOM VINEBOOM VINEBOOM
#:v#hazbin hotel#the finale was really good#genuinely won be over with this show#alastor#hazbin hotel spoilers#charlie morningstar#sir pentious#Also I would argue he got confirmed aroace because Rosie wasn't talking about sex she was talking about romantic relationships in that scen#either way I'm thrilled this is a win for the asexuals I love my unhinged aroace crazy crazy deer man#his bit in the finale song gave him so much depth 😭 love him 🫶🫶#if anyone wants to talk abt hazbin... My dms and asks are opennnnn 🫶🫶🫶 peace and love
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elle's favorite ateez fics. f = fluff ; s = smut ; sg = suggestive ; a = angst. ✧ = absolute favorites, must read. (only adding notes for these few fics to ensure readability for the overall list!) word count in brackets. last updated: may 2nd, 2024
authors; if you wish to be untagged, please let me know!
currently no individual fic for hongjoong, yeosang & jongho. please refer to the OT8 section, or come back for future updates!
성화 SEONGHWA
✧ [11,1k] plastic flowers — @bobateastay ( f ; s ; a ) ↪ note: this fic revolves around abortion, so please keep this in mind before reading. i read this on a flight— and i don't know if it was the altitude, but it broke me. the author beautifully wrote this, in a way where unconditional love, hope and pain are intertwined. one of the most pleasantly surprising and touching reads i've had on this platform by far.
✧ [2,3k] essence — @hwaightme ( f ) ↪ note: this one is for the poetic, hopelessly romantic fics lovers. everything i've read from this author was beautiful so far! the poetry in this fic was so pretty that i felt the need to share it to my friends... although i usually never share fics out of tumblr. i'm excited to read through more of your writings, bai!
[1,2k] the first snow and being in love — @i-luvsang ( f )
[884] 02:36 — @hwapetals ( f )
[642] adoration — @kisshwa ( f ; sg )
[8,6k] both — @hwaightme ( s ; f )
[200] 10:24pm — @hotteoki ( f )
[986] anguish — @kisshwa ( a )
[n/a] bf texts — @hotteoki ( f )
[79] 9:22pm — @cozykpopblurbs ( f )
[1,6k] i'll be with you — @cheollipop ( f )
[519] lazy make out sessions — @crazyforhwa ( s )
[1,2k] realistic sex — @byuntrash101 ( s ; f )
윤호 YUNHO
✧ [13k + 18,2k] unprofessional attraction ; pt.1 , pt.2 , [tbc] — @jk97 ( f ; s ; a ) ↪ note: i was so engulfed into this fic that i skipped a lecture to continue reading. fics that are heavier nsfw-wise usually aren't my thing, but here, every single line pulled me in. hell, i felt even more insane about yunho after reading this. saying i'm excited about the next chapters would be an understatement.
✧ [14k] closer, face down — @ncteez ( s ; f ) ↪ note: again, although i usually prefer fluff over smut, i absolutely loved this fic... the build up made it so enticing! i don't know if a re-edit still is in the works, but i'd absolutely re-read it regardless!
✧ [84,5k] project: make you love me (series) — @hwaslayer ( f ; a ; s ) ↪ note: pulled an all nighter to read the entire series in one go... it was that fun to read! the relationship was built up at a nice, natural pace, while still keeping the reader on their toes. (this made me very excited about the seonghwa series in progress..!)
[1,1k] bedfellows — @sungbeam ( f )
[1,3k] he knows he loves you — @honeyhotteoks ( f )
[2,5k] convenience store chances — @ohmyamor ( f )
[n/a] boyfriend texts — @koizekomi ( f )
[300] nothing sweeter — @i-luvsang ( f )
[1,1k] nsfw alphabet — @yunhobug ( s )
[425] 3:52am — @edenesth ( f ; sg? )
산 SAN
✧ [3,7k] leave the window open — @sungbeam ( f ) ↪ note: so sweet. so comforting. the kind of heartwarming fic that feels like hot cocoa on a cold winter day. (also made me feel insane about san... but let's not talk about that.)
[1k] always available — @everyonewooeverywhere ( f )
✧ [1,6k] capturing us — @03jyh23 ( f ) ↪ note: another sweet, poetic, hopelessly romantic fic— my favorite kind! finding fics like these always feels like discovering a little treasure. looking forward to all the wips!
[n/a] boyfriend texts — @koizekomi ( f )
[2,6k] take a break - @cheollipop ( f ; s )
[249] 21:23 — @petitemingi ( f )
[350] boyfriend headcanons — @i-luvsang ( f )
[600] one more minute — @seonghwaddict ( f )
[1,3k] no strings, no expectations — @seonghwaddict ( a ; sg ; f? )
[468] stretch marks — @beenbaanbuun ( f )
[475] valentine's series : movies — @whimsicalwritingsandmore ( f )
[n/a] instagram stories with bf san — @lwtqts ( f )
[371] hold me — @cheeseceli ( f )
민기 MINGI
[800] untitled — @cheollipop ( a ; f )
[2,8k] mind over matter — @mingisaddctn ( s )
[256] 23:22 — @petitemingi ( f )
[1k] 23:46 — @seonghwaddict ( f )
[447] princess treatment — @cheeseceli ( f )
우영 WOOYOUNG
✧ [1,2k] broke you heart, i'll put it back together — @dairyminki ( a ; f ) ↪ note: loved this so much that i had to read it twice. something about wooyoung hopelessly in love wanting to fix this... name twin, if you're reading this, hi- i'd be seated for a part 2 if you ever have the time to write it!
[2,2k] vacation — @bobateastay ( f ; s )
OT8
[700] when you don't say i love you back — @jjunberry ( f )
[2,4k] romance tropes — @beenbaanbuun ( f )
[n/a] situationships (texts) ; pt.1 , pt.2 — @yunhoszn ( f )
[2,9k + 3k] as boyfriends ; hyung line , maknae line — @honeyhotteoks ( f : s )
[n/a] sex ban (texts) — @kisshwa ( sg ; f )
[n/a] sending you a pic of themselves (texts) — @bombuni ( f )
[1,3k] outfit turn-ons — @starillusion13 ( sg )
[1,2k] make-up sex — @nateezfics ( f ; a ; s )
[944] showering — @seonghwaddict ( f ; sg )
[1,6k] as boyfriends — @atiny-moon ( f ; sg )
[2,5k] that one specific habit they do that highlights their love language — @sanhwaism ( f )
[1,1k] top 3 kinks — @seonghwaddict ( s )
[2,8k] making out — @sxcret-garden ( sg ; f )
[n/a] asking them to draw a flower (texts) — @eightmakesonebraincell ( f )
if any link is broken, or if i made any mistake when tagging fics— please kindly let me know!
#here we go again.. idk if this will garner as much attention as the skz fic rec list did (which btw was crazy..? thank you!)#regardless— i hope it'll help you find lovely fics and talented authors on this hellish website. i'll try to more consistent with updates!#as for the skz fic rec list- i'm honestly a bit overwhelmed by the amount of recommendations i've accumulated...#so i'll try my best to update it whenever uni slows down (or my hyperfixation goes crazy again). thank you for understanding!#elle's favorite fics#ateez#ateez recommendations#ateez fic recs#ateez fic#fic rec#ateez x reader#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#mingi x reader#san x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#ateez fic recommendations#ateez fluff#ateez smut#ateez fanfic#ateez angst#seonghwa fluff#seonghwa angst#seonghwa smut#yunho angst#yunho fluff#yunho smut
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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Late to the party but I saw the dunk and egg show casting and holy shit aerion is perfect
I hope they make him wear appropriately over the top fire-themed clothing
#i'm a bit mixed about maekar and baelor tho#we'll see how they look with wigs and beard#the way I'm gonna be insufferable about every little small changes in this show is crazy#night and day compared to hotd lol#theses novelas are so precious to me okey#anyway I hope one day we'll find out who poisoned aerion's wildfire 😞#a song of ice and fire#asoiaf#my art#fanart#aerion targaryen#aerion brightflame#the hedge knight#dunk and egg#house targaryen
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Seen plenty of posts ribbing Wilson for being the repressed one but tbh multiple times we see Wilson question if House is sincerely flirting with him and every time House shuts him down so are we sure Wilson is the repressed one here?
#house md#the ole it doesn't count because im joking defense#you're crazy for taking me seriously#even tho the constency of these jokes THAT ARE JUST JOKES GUYS reveal I'm regularly thinking of my best friend having sex#hilson#meanwhile Wilson going insane because he can't tell if House is gay for him or just really committed to the bit#gregory house#james wilson
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green haired guy that has haunted my character types for 10+ years
#roronoa zoro#one piece#opfanart#ive spent a good 2/3 of my artist life trying to draw him in a way i like.... i'm inching to it slowly bit by bit as i improve#which is truly One of my greatest joys as an artist - learning to draw better so i can draw my faves better#zoro is genuinely my favorite fictional character everrrrrrr... i think.... i love him so much but i have long since ran out of words to#Describe why. and i dont think any other character has come close tbh -- EXCEPT FOR WOLFWOOD!!!!! god. WW!!!!!!!!#which is crazy. but ww is very special. very dear. zoro and ww are very different... someone more similar to ww would be sanji and robin#but there's also smth about them that are so Similar. i sound like an insane person in these tags and clearly im bias BUT I SWEAR!!!#it might just be the loyalty aspect - incredibly strong traits in both of them.... also nightow drew wolfwood in a haramaki once......#connecting the most minor dots over nothing - but any ww + zoro lovers out there - maybe u understand what i mean.
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Buddie + Insane Moments In Season 7
#this is gonna be a thing i do every season assuming we get this many insane moments every season haha#sometimes i think am i crazy for believing in buddie and then i look at all of this and i'm like nope i'm not the slightest bit delusional#insane moments#buddie#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#evan buckley#eddie diaz#ryan guzman#oliver stark#love#911 abc#season 7
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After doing some research on the types of pets people had in ancient Greece, I'd like to imagine that Helen is the sort of person who has a whole menagerie of birds — and she loves each and every one of them very, very much.
It fits well with her being good at mimicry, you know. Talking and imitating and singing with her beloved birds 💜
Close up under the read more:
I had to include that one necklace from the minoan 'saffron goddess' fresco because it's my favourite thing Ever
#helen of sparta#greek mythology#greek myth art#tagamemnon#birds#this started as a helen with birds drawing. then turned into a chance to put helen in mycenaean accurate clothing.#and THEN turned into a sort of hades game art study/sprite because playing with half lineart + half rendering is just too much fun#speaking of fun: I really enjoyed making this!! Once I got a bit experimentative it really came together. I'm happy with the outcome! ^w^#choosing what birds and how many was a challenge... in my mind Helen has dozens of birds and all sorts of species. truly a crazy bird lady.#but I decided to focus on a few for this. maybe another time i'll make a piece with a ridiculous amount of birds for fun >:) hehe#I cant remember the source but I know I read somewhere that people would specifically train magpies to say hello/greet guests#and I love that little factoid (and love magpies very much) so that was an immediate choice for me to feature here.#I also love doves and goldfinches. goldfinches sound so delightful and stand out so they were my 'songbird' choice.#and I'd like to imagine that one specific dove snuggles up on helen's shoulder all the time <3#the only bird that's truly missing here is an indian ringneck parrot (which I initially wanted to put on the shoulder but changed my mind)#so if you're like me and watch too many parrot videos. just know helen has one of them that can't stop talking and posing lmao#capri_art
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Would you mind sharing the psalm and why you felt that person was the most humanist Mormon? I'm not religious at all but I find these sort of things very interesting.
In exchange I could offer the reason for my url ?
I'm warning you, this is kind of a mega essay, and it's fucking unhinged. Click at your own risk.
(Alright. You clicked.)
Psalms 137
By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept
when we remembered Zion.
There on the poplars
we hung our harps,
for there our captors asked us for songs,
our tormentors demanded songs of joy;
they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
How can we sing the songs of the Lord
while in a foreign land?
If I forget you, Jerusalem,
may my right hand forget its skill.
May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth
if I do not remember you,
if I do not consider Jerusalem
my highest joy.
Remember, Lord, what the Edomites did
on the day Jerusalem fell.
“Tear it down,” they cried,
“tear it down to its foundations!”
Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction,
happy is the one who repays you
according to what you have done to us.
Happy is the one who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks.
———
Mormonism has layers. Different cores of believers, cultures within itself. The largest group of Mormons also dominate its image within the larger culture. You know them as the nerdy, cheerful, bubbly dorks on South Park, or the hopelessly naive childlike weirdos from the Book of Mormon musical. Strangely sanitized, "wholesome" people that are, clearly, unwhole. Missing some essential part of the human experience.
(Pain, maybe?)
I think that embracing this image is letting Mormonism view itself as what it wishes it was. A group with all its rough edges sanded off, all its raw and desperate humanity scrubbed away. A clean and godly and slightly unsettling image of joy.
That isn't how it started.
Now, most people know the story of Joseph Smith. Fourteen year old farm boy starts a cult because the whole world if full of idiots, I won't repeat it because you've probably already got it from South Park. But at some point that weirdo cult did become a religion, and I would point to that moment as the Mormon War of 1838.
I don't know how far after the founding that was. Enough that Joseph Smith was a grown man. Enough that the Mormons had around 15-25 thousand members. They'd moved to the Illinois-Missouri area and were establishing settlements.
(They creeped the locals out. Of course they creeped the locals out.)
Eventually, they got pushed out of the county they'd claimed. Jackson County, it was. The state couldn't actually take that county from the people that expelled them, so to try and make the Mormons "whole" for the land they'd bought (ignoring the houses and farms they'd already set up) it gave them a new county.
Next election that came around, that county was sieged. Voting was blocked. Now, the people of the state were terrified that this weirdo voting block was going to take them over. They probably weren't wrong. Some former Mormons had straggled in from the county revealing a frankly corrupt land dealthat the early church had used to transfer resources to itself, and that served as a tipping point. To prevent their state from becoming a religious basketcase, a mob sieged the Mormon county during the next election.
The state tried to return order by sending the militia in to break up the siege, but the militia mutinied. They joined the siegers. A ground of strange, extremist violent Mormons known as the Danites rode out and attacked local settlements that were known to house the families of the militia members.
The Governor at the time - Lilburn Boggs - sent out an executive decree. The Mormons were traitors, and were to be killed on sight. It is the only religion in the US to have ever had such an order made against it.
The Mormons surrendered their county and went to Nauvoo, Illinois. There were again expelled from that city in 1846, and traveled west.
They died in great numbers and they never forgot the homes they lost.
———
I tried to tell the story as sympathetically to the people of Missouri as I could. The Mormons made messes wherever they went, and they unsettled everyone they interacted with. But they were attacked as well, and had a history of violence against them. It should not be totally surprising that they became insular and strange.
Many (most?) Mormons that learn all of their history wind up leaving the religion. It has twists and turns and knots and it is incredibly, overwhelmingly human. I think that's where the facade of Mormon perfectionism comes from - the shame of that. The desire to be something else. But being human is all I've ever wanted. And occasionally, there are people faithful in the church - layers upon layers deep - that know their history.
And they are angry about it.
I think it's more common than people realize. Did you know that until 1930 Mormons swore literal religious oaths of vengeance against the US government for the deaths of Joseph and Hyrum Smith?
I always felt like these were, in some way, the real Mormons. They knew their history, and they loved their church, and they hated what it had suffered all those years ago.
They scared me, those people. But they seemed complete. More complete than the people that had carved out everything that didn't make them smile. They'd walked into the mirror, and touched their shadow, and danced with. Melded with it.
And I knew a few like that. I was taught by one. And he didn't convince me, but he interested me. Gave me some respect for the people I left behind.
———
In the game Fallout: New Vegas, there is a character named Joshua Graham. He's a Mormon. Not like the silly children in adult bodies that they always use on TV. He has gravitas. He has put away his moral compass before, to pursue the dream of one powerful man. Poured his soul into it, helped that man conquer the whole west in piecemeal. He's a somewhat on the nose analogy of the Mormon people themselves, following Joseph Smith. And when he finally failed, when he fought a battle he could not win on the gates of the Old World Hoover Dam, he was lit on fire and thrown into the Grand Canyon to die.
But he did not die.
He says he survived because the fire in him burned brighter than the fire around him. And it seems that way when you speak with him in game. There is something compellingly bright to him. Not shiny like a new toy, or a Utah teenager that hasn't seem just how grim the world can be. He's something blinding, compelling.
But that brightness casts shadows.
He is vicious. He was saved in the canyon by the family he left, the old Mormons of a new world. And he's trying to find that part of him again, regain the soul he lost pursuing someone else's vision. But that old vicious animal part of the covenant is with him. I see Joshua Graham and I see the animal that the Mormons became to survive the West.
And in the game, there is eventually a choice given.
You can lead the tribe Joshua has joined up with out of their Zion. Their Jackson County Missouri. Peacefully and perfectly and inhumnanly transcendant, the way the Mormons wish they actually were about everything. You can give him the chance to be what Mormonism has always wished it could be. Or you can fight with them and help them reclaim their paradise, but get your hands stuck deep in the muck of this world.
Joshua Graham knows his history. He knows all the homes his people lost. And whatever brightness he's trying to regain, whatever soul he's trying to win back from the world that takes and takes and takes and takes - he wants to give it all up again to let these people keep their home.
He knows his past and he is angry.
And as the player, you help him make peace with one of two things: Being human by being fallen, or keeping his soul at the cost of reliving the ancestral trauma of losing Zion yet again.
Both were pretty visceral decisions for a Mormon teenage Babylon to make.
(Tagging @boonebignaturals in this because I need a witness to my madness.)
#fallout new vegas#joshua graham#mormon history#character study#i'm biting the walls a little bit right now#bite bite bite#exmormon stuff#mormon stuff?#i don't actually remember the history too-too well#this was taught to me in large part my that crazy-ass old seminary teacher#bless him
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