#I'm 90% sure that I'm autistic

[graveyarrdshift]

i think i hauve autism

[sillyslayer6]

genshin fandom are HEAVILY sleeping on audhd ajax childe tartaglia

(headcanons in the read more!)

i meaaaan;

stimming - he likes making stuff out of water and fidgeting with them, especially if he's bored; spinning water weapons (like he does in one of his idle animations), making little water creatures (he probably makes them fight), mimicking things around him/in his mind out of water - he messes with his cape as a stim (like in that other idle animation) - him just repeating something just because he likes saying it, like 'coco goat' or some word zhongli taught him impulsivity - THE most impulsive guy ever - impulsive to the point where he'll just throw himself into danger because he has free will - will see some big horrifying monster, think 'i wonder if i could take that' (in a fight), then will attack unless someone stops him - constantly gets himself into trouble because he reacts before he thinks - i headcanon that him using foul legacy against the traveler was him genuinely losing his shit and wasn't planned

(and he probably just laid on the roof of the golden house like 'owww ouagh owww' until the battle with osial was done... also zhongli was watching liyue defend itself on a nearby mountain, like how a worried mother might watch her kids cook for the first time, and just happened to see the orange cat on the roof) hyperactivity - has a brain that never stops - ultra instincts adhd, like rick riordan says - if he ever stops moving, he'll die - complains if he has to stay still - probably fidgets non-stop - the tsaritsa is an ally and has plenty of random crap to fiddle with on harbinger coats socializing - canonically the odd one out among his peers (granted, his peers are all scheming goth people) - i swear he (canonically) constantly misses social cues and takes things literally... - he misses social cues more than he misses crits - blunt and straightforward, and prefers that way of communicating - headcanon that zhongli lying to him actually hurt his feelings and his reaction was genuine... (and that reaction is a little too relatable, as someone who's neurodivergent... 😔🤨) - this is probably an english-only thing, but his little 'haha' in stressful circumstances is him masking/coping with the situation and doing a brain reset, or just his default 'how the fuck am i meant to react to that' response (citation: I DO THAT!!) - somehow masks and unmasks at the same time, like how he's wearing his literal mask on his head - will just come out with the most profound and deep truths, this jumpscares people (especially ones who think he's a total dumbass) - childe unmasking is just him with no expression, doing things in almost complete silence, even before the abyss he brought the vibe to the function that neurotypicals hate - ^ he'll never unmask around his fellow harbingers because he doesn't like them but also he likes annoying them hyperfixations/special interests - easy 'he's obsessed with battle' connection, c'mannn - and easy 'he's got an interest in weaponry', duhhhh - but imagine him just being able to identify any fish, too. - hyperfixated on liyue history, cuisine and culture during his stay there, probably kept getting zhongli to talk about whatever he was hyperfixating on that week (btw zhongli's autistic too, it's because he's hot, sorry i don't make the rules) - picks up 1 million hobbies and hyperfixates on them either for a week or until he's mastered them (the one week ones get shelved until he masters them) nerfed by celestia, AKA idk what to title this section - i just can't see childe being able to sit there and finish paperwork like a regular guy - northland bank managers fear him (he hands in paperwork one minute before the deadline) - pulcinella probably handles his important harbinger documents because childe lost too many of them - exchanged his quick moving and dodging in battle for a weekly sacrifice (he trips over something or breaks things through clumsiness; him and lynette are comrades in arms for breaking machines) - his sleep schedule is that he doesn't have one - he turns into some hunter-gatherer eater, unless someone with a normal routine is around, then he follows them and has regular meals at regular times (as opposed to him cooking borscht at 11AM

[ominous-feychild]

OC Facts Tag

Thank you for the tag, @honeybewrites!

Rules: Make a list of fun facts about your OCs. Like a headcanon list, if you will! Except it's actually canon lol.

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, Daleira, Faer

Freya:

Knows a lot about sailing, but has mostly worked on ships by herself. Is she self-taught? Well, kinda--it's because of her dad basically being a god of the ocean. It's literally in her blood, and she's blessed to have good luck on the ocean. Not that it helps her if "luck" doesn't come into play...

Has mostly figured out how to translate three different forgotten languages by using only her own intelligence and libraries

Has anger issues but thinks of herself as a very calm person

Has a lot of nightmares, but remembers very few of them. Doesn't have very many good night's rests

For some reason, half of what she thinks and knows of her past contradict each other...

Sleeps curled up in a ball; likes cuddling with stuffed animals but left it at home when going to Lynsmouth because she thought her fiancé would judge her for it. Joke's on her, it's a fiancée, and she has way more than just one!

Would forgive her dad for his neglect if he just gave a sincere apology, a hug, and spent at least a few months with her every year

Hates standing out

Was previously in a toxic relationship with a man who groomed her. It caused a lot of her modern-day issues. Her dad is not aware of this, and she hopes to keep it that way.

Crow:

Both hates and loves the smell of blood

Forgot how to cry years ago

Is a fantastic actor and liar; thinks their lies are terrible and obvious, but is able to fool even some of the people best at reading body-language

Knows how to fight with two different types of weapons. Also knows hand-to-hand combat--that, and using a simple dagger, are what they're best at

Always has a knife/dagger within reach, but it's usually hidden behind one of their wings or their tail feathers

Their humor is, in reality, an act they put on to make people underestimate them. They are hyper-alert and constantly on guard

Is most comfortable sleeping on top of something spherical; likes wrapping their arms--and so their wings with them--around it, resting their cheek over their shoulder/wing, and splaying their legs out

However, is used to sleeping in terrible conditions. Just always needs to sleep on their stomach; it's painful to lay on their wings

Daleira:

Is almost certainly ADHD and is probably on the spectrum; I'd have to write more of her before I say the last part for sure, though

Doesn't have very many friends and is aware of it; most of the people in her life are either humoring her because they're afraid of her or because they want political power

Her obsession with magic originated from her trying to figure out if she could change what she is--aka, stop being a faerie and turn human

She's terrified of her own magic and refuses to use it. Most of the magic she uses in-story is during moments of panic (ie, used on reflex) or through a conduit

If she ever managed to "turn human", would cry for weeks about no longer being able to shapeshift. Her ability to shapeshift is one of the few things she likes about being a faerie

Has never been in a relationship before

Doesn't like to sleep because she's afraid of what her magic will do while she's unconscious. Lucky(?) her, she can literally make it so she doesn't have to sleep

Wishes she had a sibling or other people to relate to

Loves sweet food; lucky her, she won't ever gain weight unless she wants to

Faer:

Figured out engineering over time from reverse-engineering half-destroyed machinery

Likes cooking and sees it as very similar to engineering

He loves his hair and would cry if he had to cut it. Has not cut it once in over 5 years, not even to trim it.

Loves soft textures and wears an oversized cloak to hide his constant fidgeting, to generally keep his actions hidden, and to be able to pet it

The more I write about him, the more certain I am that I accidentally made ANOTHER goddamn autistic character istg--

Although he claims the cyborg bobcat that follows him everywhere is his familiar, it is not. It is an actual bobcat. They bonded over a series of incidents of saving each other's lives and refuse to part from each other

Refuses to set foot in a forest until his life depends on it. Thankfully, now lives in a city.

The giant scar over his face is far from the only one he has.

Has PTSD and is constantly aware of his surroundings

Met Daleira when she saved him, but actually likes her as a friend and person

Is suspicious of Valyarus, but doesn't know how to tell Daleira that her dad gives him major creep vibes

"Faer" (pronounced "fair") is not actually his name

Tagging (with no pressure): @the-letterbox-archives @the-golden-comet @yourpenpaldee @darkandstormydolls @themboty + anyone else who wants to join!

Divider by @cafekitsune

[korogie]

Any smoshheads here. Thoughts on how real the shayne and courtney marriage is

[gender-euphowrya]

heard mom & grandma talk shit about me on the phone so i'm considering whether i should just blow up this entire family by denouncing how much they talk shit about Each Other to me.

[jaesntdd]

( quick psa/request to pls use tone indicators as often as you can with me, esp when you mean to joke/be sarcastic/ask questions or give criticism. i've always had issues discerning between what is sarcastic/a joke/genuine thoughts/ideas and when i can't i get extremely anxious and take it as a personal attack. it's a neurodivergency thing so nothing against y'all, it would just be extremely helpful to do that c: )

[probablyaseamonster]

"Free my girl she did nothing wrong!" Except it's me about myself when I got institutionalized against my will yesterday

[midnightmystical]

.......

Idk why I've been so paranoid about this the past like month........

But I lowkey think one of my coworkers found one of my social medias?????And somehow know it's me??????

Like he's never been straight up mean to me at all but this past month or 2 he's been extra nice. Like he'll actually talk to me like not in a "I'm forced to talk to you or otherwise I'd avoid tf out of you" way. But it's weird??????? Like yeah there's some people I naturally get along semi more with. It's still like????????? Its like it's specifically my tumblr because it's giving a "I have a feeling you might do something to yourself" thing.

In the 0.0000001% chance you see this short 18 year old guy, give me some sort of signal plz&thnkz

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

[auroras-void]

I realized this, like looking back I've been annoying as shit. But then I decided that actually who cares if I was annoying, everyone's annoying sometimes, it's part of being human. My friends are annoying sometimes, my girlfriend can be too actually, but you know what I figured out? I can still love them not just in spite of that, but *because* of it, because I love *all* of them, and being annoying is a part of *everyone*. And not to mention if I need to I can also just talk to them like a fucking adult.

The real secret is realizing that actually, I was never the problem, I just needed better friends who knew how to use their goddamn words to communicate with me, and who would have me do the same for them. All I ever needed to learn was how to ask for that.

"Read the room" room is bullshit, and it always has been, the answer has always been "Speak clearly", even in situations when everyone present actually knows how to do the former.

Once you have that, you get the last realization. Which is that actually, I trust my friends to love me for who I am and communicate their boundaries to me when necessary... So you know what? I am going to become *more* annoying, *on purpose*, because I know doing so does not make me any less worthy of love. No more hiding behind masks so thick they make my RAADS-R score look normal. I am going to be me and I am going to love myself for it, all else be damned.

That's what I love about this scene. Yes, it's painful to watch, but at the same time it's triumphant, because Laios is hearing all this and responding to it with a deep seated understanding of himself, he knows without even a moment of hesitation that he has never been in the wrong for being himself.

I'm (probably) not even autistic* myself... so I've been on both sides of this exact conflict even... which is why I can say with such confidence that Shuro deserved every bit of what he got for starting shit unnecessarily instead of acting like an adult.

every autistic person watching this episode of dungeon meshi:

[lemonadegirl4344]

WHY AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT THERE’S A DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH??? AND THAT IT COUNTS FOR MENTAL DISORDERS TOO???? IS AUTISM ON THERE!?! WOOHOO!!!!

[authorracheljoy]

Ya know... even if I don’t receive a diagnosis or I somehow have some other problem entirely... hey, at least I learned more about autism in general. I can inform and teach others, including my own parents!

[ultyso]

‼️🛑 Don’t ignore this. Please help my autistic child live a normal life and help my family survive death. Hello, I am Doaa from Gaza 🍉. I apologize for what I'm about to ask. I have a heavy and tired heart. Unfortunately, the situation became difficult after I left Gaza, and I did not receive any assistance to treat my child and help us live except through you and your donations. . A donation of just $20 from each person, $20 will save my child and my family in Gaza. $20 equals 220 Swedish krona. I lost my home, my workplace, everything, and I don’t know whether or not I will bear all this responsibility outside Gaza to help my child and my family, but I know that your help will contribute to saving my child and my family. Sorry about all this.

Sure

Other account: @/dodoomar

Verified by @/90-ghost

Their Story: https://www.tumblr.com/dodooomar/757611029398208512/stop

Donate if you can: GFM

[freeasabook]

I knew two siblings when I was a kid who called their cishet dad "mom" because he was the primary parent and most primary parents in our community were "mom". They also got a *lot* of people's he/she pronouns very wrong. Like they just picked whichever one seemingly at random. This is common in toddlers but these kids continued this *well* into elementary school *despite* both being highly verbal and not struggling in other areas of grammar. The community where our families overlapped had zero out queer people (it was the 90s). And also was bilingual with the second language having gendered verbs and nouns. But it wasn't the neutral "it" they struggled with. It was their parents, family friends, other kids, etc. So yeah. Remembering pronouns is hard for some people even in straight/cisgender bubbles.

My elderly father started talking about how frustrating he finds “the pronouns thing” and I was like. Oh no. He had such a good stand on this, he’s been they/them-ing his cishet siblings for god’s sake! Is he regressing?? And he was talking about how difficult it is to remember, and how onerous it feels to expect strangers to keep track of it, and I’m like oh no oh no.

Then he says, “I mean, the problem isn’t the gender thing. The problem is four words: she, her, he, and him. We got rid of stewardess and turned it into flight attendant. It doesn’t matter if the flight attendant is a man or woman, so we got rid of it. We just need to get rid of those. I don’t need to know.”

“You don’t need to know… people’s gender?”

“No. I don’t care, I don’t need to know, and I don’t want to remember it.”

So we can relax. It’s just a continuation of his crusade to they/them the world. He doesn’t want to remember anyone’s gender. He’s abolishing the genders.

[ms-demeanor]

I ask this with love - have you ever been diagnosed with autism? I'm waiting on my own assessment appointment and ever since my shrink broughts up I might have it I've been hyper aware of my symptoms, which has led to more increased awareness of Possible symptoms in others and uh. your whole vibe screams neurodivergent and maybe it's "just" the adhd but I was just kinda curious if you've ever considered ASD as a possibility for you?

RAADS-R

AQ

CAT-Q

I'm like. Fairly certain I'm autistic, largely because of the sheer number of irl autistic friends i have who thought I might be autistic long before i considered that possibility.

My sister is autistic (she was diagnosed with Aspergers in the 90s but does not consider that an autism diagnosis, i think that she is incorrect) and I'm pretty convinced that my dad, uncle, and grandfather are/were autistic. (My dad has an ongoing blog about movies that he saw in theaters with my mom because if you ask him "when did you first see Tombstone?" Or "who did you go see Die Hard with?" Or "what theater did you see Shrek 2 in for the 2nd time?" He will be able to tell you where he saw the movie, what time of day he went, who was with him, what their opinion of the movie was, whether that was his opinion of the movie, where else he may have seen the movie while it was in theaters, and which physical media he owned or owns the movie on - he has an enormous laserdisc and dvd collection. The blog about going to the movies with her is basically a memoir about their relationship through the lens of his fixation on film. It is one of four movie blogs he runs. That's one example, all of those guys are like that.)

But I'm in a place where I'm concerned that a formal diagnosis might cause more problems than it would solve (large Bastard and i are considering fostering or adopting kids at some point and I know a diagnosis can impact the possibility of getting approved for that, which is shitty) so I'm not sure that following up on that is a good idea.

[river-taxbird]

I really like my CO2 meter and I want to tell you about it!

It's a little gadget that measures the amount of carbon dioxide in the air. Did you know your body at rest burns about 100 grams of food/fat an hour? This means you're constantly breathing out carbon dioxide at a rate of about 100 grams an hour. This can rise by quite a lot of you're exercising, and it's less when you're sleeping. This means if you usually keep your doors and windows closed, as I usually do in winter since I live in a cold climate, it can build up fast. You can even breathe directly on the meter and watch the number rise rapidly.

I've had this meter on my desk for many years. It's basically a clock so you can notice the air quality at a glance and it's always on and doesn't produce light. (Note the black tape over the power LED on the left because my autistic ass can NOT sleep with an LED in the room.) It cost about £90 when it was new so it's not the cheapest thing in the world but it's built to last and it's been worth it. This isn't an ad and I'm not saying go for this brand, it's just a gadget that I think improves my life. It's always a good reminder of when I should open the windows.

I'm not 100% sure how well supported this is, but I've seen it said online that a carbon dioxide level of over 1000ppm can lower a person's cognitive function by about 25%. It can be an issue with classrooms with a lot of people. Normal outdoor levels are about 300-400ppm. Whether you believe that is up to you, but I do think fresh air makes people feel better and this serves as a good reminder to let it in. People like to make carbon monoxide jokes on this website, but sometimes high CO2 can be an issue around his you generally feel. It can also build up faster than you'd think if you have multiple people about and no windows open.

Time to open the window! (Apologies for the photo quality, the reflective LCD is not the easiest thing in the world to photograph without shadows or huge reflections.)