#help I have too many mental illnesses and/or ND traits

[midnightmystical]

.......

Idk why I've been so paranoid about this the past like month........

But I lowkey think one of my coworkers found one of my social medias?????And somehow know it's me??????

Like he's never been straight up mean to me at all but this past month or 2 he's been extra nice. Like he'll actually talk to me like not in a "I'm forced to talk to you or otherwise I'd avoid tf out of you" way. But it's weird??????? Like yeah there's some people I naturally get along semi more with. It's still like????????? Its like it's specifically my tumblr because it's giving a "I have a feeling you might do something to yourself" thing.

In the 0.0000001% chance you see this short 18 year old guy, give me some sort of signal plz&thnkz

[paradoxical-computer]

So I see a lot of people saying things like “omg this person has so many mental illnesses they must be faking how could the function blah blah blah” so I’m gonna make a weird numbered rant post about why thats wrong lol. (also I know I talk about ADHD specifically in this rant but thats the one I know most about)

1. Many mental disorders/neurodivergent disorders often come in groups:

People seem to forget this for some reason, but in some cases having x disorder makes you more likely to have y disorder. ADHD, autism, tic disorders, and OCD are a few disorders that are commonly comorbid, meaning they commonly appear together. According to CHADD “More than half of all individuals who have been diagnosed with ASD also have signs of ADHD. ... On the flip side, up to a quarter of children with ADHD have low-level signs of ASD...” This isn’t just the case with ADHD and autism, anxiety and depression are two of the most commonly comorbid disorders, with an estimated 60% of people with one of them showing symptoms of the other (link). Comorbid disorders are really common, so the chances that one person has more that two or three disorders isn’t that low. 

2. Complications from these mental disorders can cause other mental disorders:

Disorders you’re born with generally cause issues, thats the point of them being disorders. Kids with already existing disabilities or disorders are often bullied, have trouble at school, have trouble at home, or deal with other forms of stressful or traumatic experiences throughout childhood. These kinds of stressors can cause things like anxiety, depression, maladaptive daydreaming, dissociative disorders, etc. To use ADHD as an example (again), The Chesapeake Center says that the the likelihood of someone with ADHD having coexisting conditions is extremely high, especially for teens and adults that don’t have treatment. “Tom Brown, Ph.D., psychology professor at Yale and internationally recognized authority on ADHD, has proposed that ADHD is a “foundational disorder” — a disorder that creates a vulnerability toward a host of other psychiatric conditions in adolescence and adulthood, especially when ADHD goes unrecognized and untreated.” They go on to say that over 70% of adults with ADHD have some other disorder that should be taken into account while working on treatment. This can apply to disorders like autism, tic disorders, and intellectual disabilities as well. Autism Connection of Pennsylvania says “Sometime there is a biological predisposition to [other mental health issues]; others may develop these conditions out of their constant struggle to cope with the world around them.” So being born with one or two mental disorders can end up developing into more issues down the line.

3. Treatment, lack of treatment, or incorrect treatment can cause other stuff to develop:

Technically like the last point, but slightly more specific. I’m going to draw from my own experiences for this point. I was born with ADHD and autism, as well as mild tics. When I was young, I was yelled at for doing certain ND things, like not speaking, stimming, not looking people in the eyes, and making certain sounds. This caused anxiety for me, as well as a need to mask at a young age to avoid being hurt. When the pandemic happened all my masking fell apart, and now I’m being treated for ADHD. My first round of ADHD meds caused my tics to worsen, and now I have them much more severe than I used too. I also have bad anxiety, depression, and some trauma stuff because of the masking, bullying, and yelling that I had endured due to my ND traits. So I went from ADHD, autism, and mild tics, to ADHD, autism, moderate-to-severe tics, depression, anxiety, and more. 

In Conclusion

Don’t be a dick, having lots of disorders isn’t insane. I’ll admit some people claim to have so many they would need a lot of help to function, and probably couldn’t be on social media, but just having more than like, two disorders isn’t a reason to fakeclaim someone. 

Okay I’m done goodbye.

[miaclemeverett]

it really is! i only figured out this was a statistical trend on my part recently, too, because of mcyt. i got into wilbur first and then tommy and then ranboo and then dream and then karl and techno and after that it's a huge mish mash. it's just. markiplier, ethan nestor, dream, karl, techno, and probably a couple others i'm missing all have adhd and i learned this after i started watching. so now whenever there's a little nugget of information about a cc being nd (whether adhd or not), i just file it into the mental box of "[anon] did it again!" and then like never think about it again.

either way, thank you for all of it, you're really nice and i love your blog, so have a nice evening

yeah i think just in the dsmp alone there are so many creators who are open about being nd and the most heartwarming thing is how their nd traits are embraced by other creators and many people in the fandom. also relatedly there are cc's who are open about their mental health issues / living with mental illness(es) which really helps people out as well

aw thank you anon! i appreciate the kind words :)

[rpbetter]

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[simptasia]

neurodivergence in abc’s lost

i’m gonna be listing off and talking about the canon neurodivergent characters in lost. i won’t be adding characters that i personally headcanon as neurodivergent in some way, what i’m writing here is elaboration upon what has been given to me by the show. please note that none of these people’s conditions or disorders were named in the show, so such diagnoses being named here are me taking that extra step based upon their symptoms

first of all i wanna point out that based on what i’ve seen the show, that the island’s healing powers applies to conditions inflicted upon the mind, not ones inherent to the mind. thats why daniel’s brain damage heals, but people like hurley and locke will always continue to have depression

hugo “hurley” reyes

schizophrenia and depression

our most prominently featured mentally ill character. it might seem bold to label him with schizophrenia when it’s never said that that’s what he has. but during his time on lost, he displays many of the symptoms: paranoia, pathological self loathing, delusions and hallucinations. now, it’s a fictionalized depiction of schizophrenia and that’s probably not even what the writers had in mind but it’s none the less a really, really good and respectful portrayal of it

it would take too long to list off all the times when hurley displays paranoia (heck, it’s easy not to notice how much its a part of his character) and self loathing. delusions? the situations regarding the numbers and his bad luck (canon never ever Proves what hurley believes to be true regarding that stuff)

they did an episode dedicated to hurley having hallucinations. a man named dave who drives him to self destructive behaviour, self hatred and attempted suicide. fun fact: when people with schizophrenia in real life have hallucinations, they tend towards just auditory. hurley gets visual as well as per Rule Of Drama. this is not a bad thing, just a narrative tool

(steering slightly into headcanon for a bit here but i personally ignore the dharma made Hurley Bird they revealed in the epilogue and just take hurley hearing that bird say his name as an auditory hallucination. for two reasons: one, hurley hearing/seeing things that don’t exist is already consistent with his mental state. and two, that bird literally, genuinely did not fucking say hurley)

extra notes

to be clear, in case there's confusion, hurley really does have magical powers. he can talk to dead people. that isn’t a delusion or hallucination. you can understand how confusing and distressing this must be for hurley

he's had a compulsive eating disorder since he was ten due to the pain of his father abandoning him. his struggle with this is well documented

at several points during the show he’s shown to have trouble spelling. he especially confuses his “y(s)” and “ies”. it’s not clear if this is due to poor education or a learning issue. or both, really. it’s safe to assume with him being poor, mexican and mentally ill, that school wasn’t easy for hurley

hurley has unjustifiably lived at mental health institutions on at least two occasions (the first time was against his will, second was volunteer)

john locke

depression

locke suffers from severe self esteem issues, and i know most lost characters do, but i mean to the point of irrational and destructive behaviour. he has an obsession with being deemed special in order to justify his existence. he also suffers jarring mood swings. (he can switch from calm and jovial to angry and defensive at the drop of a hat). when he was wheelchair bound, this threw him into a depression. when he failed to convince anybody to come back to the island, he attempted suicide. he would have gone thru with it too. he will go to extremes to make sure things stay the way he wants them to (killing an innocent woman so they can stay on the island, tying up and drugging boone so he won’t tell anybody about the hatch), and will fall into despair if he fails

also note that the things im saying about locke are not a comment on people with depression. i don’t think all depressed people kill and drug people. those were statements on locke’s character that i believe are a part of his mental state. my point is: he’s emotionally unstable and he tried to kill himself. and i think his extreme need for validation (from people and the universe in general) is especially concerning

to me, this all says to me that locke has clinical depression

locke isn’t as easy as the other people on this list to classify as Canon Neurodivergent but at least to me, i think it’s very obvious. like i feel bad being so vague but like, basically, watch any locke episode

daniel faraday

acquired brain damage, severe memory degradation as well as other neurodivergent behaviours (i’ll go into it)

he’s played by jeremy davies. enough said

okay, jokes aside. at some point in the past daniel and his assistant theresa were involved in some vaguely referred to time based experiments. while she was catatonicized, the accident left daniel severely brain damaged (also daniel spent years doing radioactive experiments without head protection, which would not have helped and indeed that is foreshadowing of this whole debacle)

apparently this left him in a state where he can no longer take care of himself, having been assigned a carer. his most outstanding symptom is that his ability to process short AND long term memory has been impaired

short term: he’s shown to have issues retaining memories from day to day. he wasn’t sure if he had met charles widmore already (he hadn’t). charles lays some exposition on him and when daniel asks why he’s telling him this, charles says, with sureness, that “because by tomorrow you won’t remember this”. counting on that to be an absolute fact seems silly to me but that does seem to the case. again, Rule Of Drama is in play here

long term: he can no longer access memories he formed many years ago, famously the memories he formed with desmond in 1996. all in all, this condition is highly plot convenient. can’t argue with results, really

no, i can keep going, i got more, this is daniel fucking faraday we’re talking about: his ability to remember 3 playing cards has been impaired (note that this is a skill most 4 year olds master), he forgot the secret code the science team were all taught and when he introduces himself to jack there is a long pause, in hindsight implying that daniel forgot his own name

like real life memory conditions, theres varying level to how much he does and doesn’t remember. he’s thankfully not in a 50 first dates situation and doesn’t forget everything day to day. clearly he remembers people if they’re around enough, like during his time on the boat. charlotte, miles, frank, naomi...

upon landing on the island, his memory slowly gets better (considering his condition beforehand, the fact that nobody comments on this is staggering)

when dan is fully healed? i could not say, i could theorize, but such things are nebulous. but still, the times we see dan without his brain damage, he still behaves like a neurodivergent person. just not like he was when he was brain damaged. he stims near constantly, has a tendency to repeat names and words (echolalia) and it’s shown that dan compulsively counts in his head. he counted up to 864 beats, if i remember correctly, which is about 10 minutes of counting in his head. by no stretch of the imagination is that neurotypical behaviour

(im not trying to sound defensive. and i don’t think anybody, anywhere, is arguing that daniel faraday is a neurotypical. unfathomable)

going into headcanon territory again, his ND traits, when not brain damaged, say to me that he’s autistic and/or has OCD and possibly anxiety. thats all theorizing on my part tho. but the fact of the matter is, damage or no, he’s neurodivergent

notes

his apparent need for tactile sensory input is legendary in the lost fandom. in layman’s terms: him pet pet. not just people but objects too. humans, overall, tend to touch things to process input better. many ND people do it more, and it seems daniel is a case of that (i am not making a solid statement on jeremy davies’ neuro state. that’s his business)

he shows an inability to properly process grief

he also shows shocking indifference to his own safety, resulting in reckless behaviour. how much of this is a result of his mental state or his upbringing is up for debate. i think it’s a combo of both

without his brain damage, he appears to have an eidetic memory

danielle rousseau

trauma induced mental illness

pretty self explanatory. the loss of her expedition, husband and daughter, as well as 16 years of loneliness (on THIS island) has resulted in emotional instability for danielle. she’s prone to paranoia, trust issues, irrational behaviour

she’s just not well. she’s right most of the time but she’s not well

libby smith

indeterminate mental state 

libby was institutionalized (the same place hurley was sent to) and placed on medication (which seemed like sedatives to me, based on her expressions). in the show it’s not what clear what put her there, but having just done some research, i’ve discovered that Word Of God says that libby became mentally unstable after the death of her husband dave smith. so this is probably another case of trauma induced mental illness. she must have had a pretty extreme episode to cause her to be sent to a place like that. something to think about

but alas, it’s libby, so not much info. moving on

benjamin linus

anti social behaviour disorder (is my best guess)

oof. depictions of mental illness with characters who are immoral are depictions of mental illness nonetheless. i feel almost silly saying this but: ben is not... okay

ben displays issues (at best) with empathy, compassion and morality. how much he cares about other people is highly debatable but one thing that's certain is that he does genuinely love his daughter. everybody else is ????

but the loving alex thing rules out him being a sociopath or having narcissistic personality disorder. and it is genuine because when he loses it with grief, it’s not a performance, because the only audience is us...

he’s a compulsive liar, lying even when it doesn’t benefit him. lying just because. ben is highly unpredictable, which isn’t inherently a neurodivergent thing, but when a person goes from a calm discussion to strangling somebody, all roads point to Uh Oh (i don’t know the technical terms for Uh Oh). many of his outward emotions are performed (the difference between his fake smiles and few real smiles is noticeable). he’s manipulative, he treats people like objects for his benefit/plans, he’s self absorbed, he has zero issues with murder unless it’s a child. he does have some moral standards. but overall, uh, [just gestures at ben]

also ben is repeatedly offended when other people don’t trust him, which is HILARIOUS, but also shows a cognitive dissonance on his part

hmm i need more here, im gonna break out the big guns

that’s some basic info there and doesn’t that line up with ben?

the article goes on to say that people with this can put on superficial charm. that is, behave friendly and “normal” when they have to. which ben is shown to be able to do

and this

“Serious problems with interpersonal relationships are often seen in those with the disorder. Attachments and emotional bonds are weak, and interpersonal relationships often revolve around the manipulation, exploitation, and abuse of others.”

reminds me of his situation with juliet. and locke. and his “friendships” in general

i snipped the wikipedia article for this because unlike the rest i felt,,, underequipped to talk about this sort of thing

ben being mentally unwell is clear enough in canon and i think this disorder is what lines up best with it. please note that ben is capable of change and growth (like people in real life who have such issues) and like the show i’m not gonna paint him 100% evil or irredeemable. i’m just saying what’s true

notes

ben says at one point that he doesn’t dream anymore. it’s highly probably that this is a lie, but if it isn’t, well that's not good. it’d mean his brain isn’t entering into REM sleep properly, which can lead to emotional problems

ben doesn’t blink as much as most people do, something michael emerson did on purpose. this can apply to some neurodivergent people

it’s shown that he was quite nonverbal as a kid. in the flashbacks in “man behind the curtain” little ben barely speaks

honourable mentions

pretty much all the survivors suffer from PTSD due the trauma of the crash

a great deal of the characters suffer from PTSD from trauma in general due to their awful lifes. like, abusive parents, war, loss of loved ones, etc

and i must note that ben, daniel and locke suffering from parental abuse, ranging from emotional to physical, is something to factor into their cases

claire, similar to danielle, also suffered trauma induced mental illness due to the loss of her baby and feeling like she was abandoned

sayid is depicted as dead inside during season 6 due to The Sickness, so thats like a magical form of depression. and one could argue that he already had regular depression beforehand

boone joked about shannon having bulimia. (whether or not it’s true, boone is an asshole) if it’s true, shannon has an eating disorder, which is considered a form of mental illness. espech one so self image based

self harm

self harm is not an inherent part of mental illness but such concepts are often linked so i felt i should mention some of these, it’ll be quick

hurley’s aforementioned eating disorder

charlie takes heroin as a form of self harm (that isn’t a theory on my part, it’s clear as day that charlie started taking it because his sense of self worth was so low that the drugs felt like the only option)

locke, hurley, (both as mentioned above), jack, desmond, michael and richard have all attempted/nearly commited suicide

so what can we conclude from this? well that's up to you, really. that i love lost a fuck ton? that the actors and writing in lost is amazing? that all the neurodivergent based depth got saved for the boys? yeah

but i wanna conclude with this: a part of what makes lost really special to me is that these people i’ve talked out here? they’ve suffered, and oh boy it was tasty suffering, but all of them, yes even libby, were more than suffering

these people have nuance. one way or another, these people (to varying degrees) were happy at times. silly. funny. angry. opinionated. they loved. they were loved. they lived and breathed as human beings. that means a lot to me

lost is a story of broken people given a second chance. take that as you will

thank you for your time

[ablednt]

Honestly though we really need to open up the conversation more on what it feels like to be poor and ND/mentally ill

I have adhd and am autistic among other things. Because we were poor and had no medical insurance to begin with so knowledge of why I was the way I was as a child my family never took the time to learn how to accommodate my needs. They mistreated me horribly and though they likely still would have done so were we not poor my being neurodivergent in a poor family was the main contributor to my mistreatment.

By the time I was ten years old I was already sobbing alone to myself because I was different than others but I didn't know why. When I showed ND traits, because I was poor and it wasn't even remotely an option, no one ever looked at me and thought I needed to see a therapist or learn to cope or be accommodated. I was told I was too demanding, too annoying, too obsessive, and a slew of other insults that many ND children face regularly.

I felt wrong for existing. I knew, because it's the only narrative I had available to me, that I didn't deserve mental health. I deserved to be sick and I didn't deserve to have my pain acknowledged.

By the time I was able to spot the anxiety and depression that came after so long of living in these conditions I fell into a state of anti recovery because I knew I was poor. I knew I wasn't even permitted- thought I wasn't even deserving- of medical care for my physical ailments so the thought of ever getting to see a therapist was one that was completely unfathomable.

The only thing that helped me to stop actively hating and emotionally harming myself was when I found the community of people who like me had grown up with the mindset of if you're poor you don't deserve to recover and had chose to reject it and take what resources they could, use the labels available to them, and advocate for themselves and others.

Things still aren't fully better. I still struggle very deeply with my self worth and I'm still poor, I still don't have insurance, and though I still need it the prospect of therapy is a pipe dream that I can't even really imagine solidly because it doesn't even begin to be an option right now for me.

But it's better than it was before because I've actively chosen to start unlearning and rejecting the classism that pitted me against myself and my own health. That's not something I'm ever going to let anyone take away from me again.

And the sad part is that I still do have many privileges, I cannot claim to be the worst off and I know there are many who have it far worse than I do now. Like the fact that so many people feel like shit because mental and physical healthcare have been stolen from us by the upper class is genuinely sickening to me.

So maybe the next time y'all decide to give a self dxer or some one who's questioning a mental illness or disorder despite not having a therapist or someone seeking any kind of help that doesn't include a professional you ought to think about what their circumstances might be before you judge them because all you're going to do is be reaffirming what millions of people have already taught them: that they don't matter because they're not wealthy.

[creepyautisticguy]

I AM LOOKING FOR ✨DIAGNOSIS✨ SINCE 2015

Okay. So one day someone in the psycho-medical environment told me that, since three professionals (my old child psychiatrist, my psychiatrist and many people i don't remember well because i don't care) said i was probably autistic... so i was and it was enough for a diagnosis.

Yup.

We met a autism team, for help. Because my sister is autistic as well. Questions questions, talking talking... Blablablabla. There were reports : I share traits from shizoidy, schizotypy, dysthemia, avoidant personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality with strong suspicions of autism but because i am masking like hell...

Autistic pals, you probably know what i talking about.

Most traits found in each disorders where i am recognized are found in... autism, ADHD and anxiety or even OCD. And i know many professionals think i could be an autistic person to whom disorders have been added because of ✨TRAUMA✨ . . . I didn't wait for them to help me since i became a psychology enthusiast freak with a great knowedge in psychology and stuff.

WHATEVER.

This autism team WILL help my sister and i. And i'll go do several tests (in a autism resource center) to prove that the fucking diagnosis is correct. I do not deny i could be MI (Mentally Ill) but i know, i feel that i am ND (neurodivergent). I made research since 2014-2015. Just imagine. 5-6 years that my head stores that kind of informations. I am not complaigning : i love psychology and everything that closely or remotly related to it.

My childhood shows that i had autistic traits. Teenage years too. I have never be helped.

I know i was diagnosed with OCD, TIC, anxiety, dyscalculia and dyspraxia and AD(H)D with strong suspicion of autism. I have an chromosomal anomaly : 15. Dilu- something. Anyway, one of the chromosome lacks of something so a part of it is in double. Something like that... Could cause anxiety.

Okay. Whatever.

Since i live my life with the idea i am autistic and ADHDer, my life became more simple (not with stupid people but it's another story) : i know how i work, how i react and it helps me a lot. I stim a lot more than before, like i was gaining confidence. OCD and stuff like that are freaking annoying and yes, i am a control freak, scared of people because i don't understand them and i end up tired when i have to talk with them. I can be really focus on my special interests and things like, right now, i'm obsessed with chess : i love this game ! I learned how to talk to the phone even if my mom don't like because "i look like a robot who is reading a text". But i work on myself and i want to prove that I AM AUTISTIC. AND PROUD OF IT.

Stop saying that "be not autistic is a relief". It's not a relief at all. So shut up. Maybe i am a mentally unstable and a mentally ill autistic with ADHD and OCD but i want to be able to show that neurotypicals are NOT better than us.

Be proud : you are yourself, pals. Be brave because you are. You are valid. All of you. I said... ALL OF YOU. You are ALL valid.

[bpdminds]

ND Community on Tumblr

There’s been a lot of backlash on the ND community on Tumblr for a while now, and that backlash is mostly aimed towards the BPD community. As someone who is part of that community, this is what I have to say about it:

I recognize that there are many toxic behaviours within the community, and that can be seriously unhealthy. However, the situation isn’t black and white (ironic since I have BPD). There’s both positive and negative aspects to the ND/BPD Tumblr community. I’ll break it down for you:

Positive aspects of the community: - It allows people with similar experiences to gather together in order to share their stories - It gives a sense of identity and sense of community to people with neurodivergences - It allows people to find helpful resources (eg: self assessment lists, help blogs, lists of effective coping strategies, etc) - It allows people who have problems with real life interactions to make friends with people they can relate to - It serves as a way to vent about mental health struggles and ask peers for advice - It allows people struggling with their disorder to express their feelings through art, poetry, or humour - People who are struggling financially can use it as a platform to receive donations - Mentally ill creators can use it as a platform to boost their creations

Negative aspects of the community: - The “people with BPD can’t be abusive” rhetoric. This is just plain untrue - anyone can be abusive, no matter what disorder you have. - Posts normalizing abusive and toxic behaviours. Yes, words aren’t actions, and yes, humour can be a coping mechanism, but sometimes it can be taken too far. Praising people for abusive behaviour is nothing but toxic. - Using mental illness as an excuse to be: LGBTphobic, sexist, or racist. Being mentally ill doesn’t excuse you from showing other people basic respect. - Misinformation. While this is sometimes unintended, misinformation, especially on advice blogs, can be harmful to people seeking advice. I recommend anyone giving advice to cite all statistical data, and people receiving advice to read through the sources. - Impressionable young people on Tumblr, and people who are unable to recognize that a joke is, in fact, a joke and not serious. There are some posts saying stuff like “NTs should all die” and when they receive backlash they claim that it was a joke. - Dismissing “neurotypical” advice and demonizing therapists and doctors. Yoga isn’t helpful to everyone, but some people may find it really helps. Invalidating these kinds of advice may discourage people from even trying them, which can be detrimental to recovery. Also, it's true that many doctors and therapists are problematic and abusive, but discouraging people from seeking help is damaging behaviour. If you are capable of seeking professional help (and not everyone is, which is ok), don't let Tumblr discourage you from doing so. - Calling anything and everything ableist. Yes, ableism is terrible, but not everything that offends you is ableist! Saying all criticism is ableist is just giving yourself an excuse for being abusive or problematic. Check whether something is truly ableist before calling it so - The anti-recovery mindset of so many people in the community! If you yourself don’t want to recover, then that’s your choice, but encouraging other people to be anti-recovery is just very damaging to people’s mental health. I know that saying you need to be “fixed” is problematic, but recovery isn’t always about getting rid of your disorder. It’s about learning to live a happy and fulfilling life without letting your disorder hinder you.

More or less, there’s both pro’s and con’s to the community, and whether being a part of it would be healthy for you depends on each person individually. If you are in a bad place right now, then the community might not be the best for you, because the discourse and anti-recovery mindset could be too much for you. And each individual blog in the community is different as well. One blog may be problematic and another one may be wonderful! You have to explore to find what you like here.

If anyone has anything to add to either the positive or negative traits of the community, feel free to do so in the reblogs!

Note: Some aspects of the ND/BPD community are not exclusive to the community, and there are many other Tumblr communities that have similar issues as well! While this post is geared towards the ND (especially BPD) community specifically, I just wanted you guys to keep this in mind.

[thecoroutfitters]

As recently as last week, the worst mass shooting in US history was the terrorist-related incident that took place in the Pulse night club in Orlando, Florida. Forty-nine people were killed in that incident, a number dwarfed by the 58 people killed and more than 500 injured in at the Harvest Music Festival in Las Vegas on October 1st.

This was clearly a well thought out attack, carried out by Stephen Craig Paddock, a 64-year-old white man.

As of this time, little is known of the killer himself, who ended his own life before police could arrive to apprehend him.

However, the killer was not completely unknown in Las Vegas, where he has had several gambling transactions in the tens of thousands of dollars over the last few months. Whether those transactions were wins or losses, it appears that he might have been spending whatever money he had, before writing the final act of his life.

Just arranging the logistics of this attack destroys the idea of it being spontaneous or emotional. This was clearly a cold-blooded killer at his worst. It took time to accumulate the arms and ammo, then to move them into his shooting perch in order to be ready.

The SEAL Survival Guide to Staying Alive in the War Zone Called “New America”

A few days before the attack, the killer rented a room on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Hotel, which overlooked the venue for the music festival. This gave him time to move his arsenal, which consisted of over 10 rifles, into the room and prepare for the attack.

Police have not yet revealed what those rifles were, but it is possible that he had fully-automatic weapons at his disposal. How he prevented hotel employees from having an idea of what he was up to is one of the many mysteries that the police have yet to resolve.

As the festival was underway, the killer broke open his hotel windows and opened fire on the crowd of 22,000 people below. At that distance, he probably wasn’t aiming for specific targets, but rather just shooting into the crowd to see how many people he could hit. Reports from several of the people who survived the event say that the gunfire started slow, but then accelerated to the point where it sounded like a machine gun.

Video first seen on Guardian Wires.

The distance gave him another advantage as well, as anyone who was carrying concealed would be unable to fire back at him effectively. Being on the 32nd floor means that he was 320 feet above the people he was shooting at, as well as about 400 feet away from the concert venue.

It would take a trained sniper, with a pretty good rifle and scope, to hit him from that distance.

The gunman must have expended over 700 rounds in the several minutes he was firing, as that’s how many victims there were. While some of those people may not have been hit by his shots, but rather injured in the crowd’s attempts to flee the scene, there were probably also shots that didn’t hit anyone.

Additional guns and ammo were found in his home in nearby Mesquite, Nevada.

What’s the Motivation?

It is too soon to know what motivated the killer to open fire on that crowd. Police will be investigating this incident for months, trying to track down every lead and determine what was behind the attack. One of their most important tasks in that investigation will be to determine the motive of the killer.

Nevertheless, this event has several traits in common with other mass shooting events. Specifically, we have a lone gunman who has planned out the event carefully. It is yet to be revealed whether the police found any evidence of this planning in his home, but they did find additional guns and ammo, which could be an indicator.

He also seems to be somewhat of a loner, unmarried, even though he did have a live-in girlfriend. Finally, he killed himself before the police could take him into custody, something that is extremely common in mass shootings of this type.

So, even though we don’t know yet whether he had any signs of mental illness, the possibility that this was no more than another tragic mass shooting seems rather likely. Much still needs to be done to establish that, or any other motive.

But that hasn’t stopped ISIS from taking credit for it. As they have done before, they are once again saying that this was motivated by their call for lone-wolf attacks here in the USA. This alone doesn’t prove anything, as ISIS hasn’t provided any information to back up their claim.

It could be nothing more than them trying to take credit for something that they had nothing to do with, simply to make themselves seem more formidable. If so, this wouldn’t be the first time the terrorist organization made such an unfounded claim.

There has been one witness who came forth claiming that Paddock converted to Islam a few months ago. If that is true, then it would collaborate the claim by ISIS, assuming they had something to do with his conversion. They are actively trying to recruit new converts, who they immediately try to turn into murderers.

The SEAL Survival Guide to Staying Alive in the War Zone Called “New America”

Should this be the case, it would definitely be the most effective attack that this terrorist organization has ever made on our soil. It would also be a very difficult sort of attack to counter, as our First Amendment guarantees the freedom of speech. Eliminating their ability to recruit over the internet would also hinder people’s First Amendment rights.

Democrats Jumping into Action

As always, the reactions of various groups are predictable. Democrat lawmakers are following their normal philosophy of not letting any crisis go to waste. There have already been calls for passing new legislation curtailing our Second Amendment rights.

As per usual, the proposed actions by Democrats would have done nothing to eliminate this attack, had they been in place and been perfectly enforced. But then, any “common sense” legislation they propose to deal with gun violence is the same. That’s probably because they really aren’t interested in stopping crime, but rather in disarming the population. With that as the goal, their solutions to the problem are always illogical and unfounded.

But then, everything the progressive left does is based upon emotion and not logic. They want something they can sell to their support base as a “feel good” measure. Whether or not it actually works is immaterial. If it doesn’t, they can always say that more restrictions are needed.

Hillary Clinton, who claims to have retired from politics, has given her two-cents worth as well, using this attack to condemn the Hearing Protection Act, a Republican initiative to eliminate the tight controls that currently exist on the sale of firearm suppressors. According to her “expert opinion,” more people would have been killed, if that bill had been passed.

Once again, we have a progressive liberal proving how little they know about guns. A rifle that would allow a shooter to kill at over 500 feet, as this one did, would have to fire a supersonic bullet. Suppressors, which many refer to as silencers, are not effective for supersonic rounds. Besides, once people started falling victim to the firing, it wouldn’t matter if they could hear the shots or not, people would still run from the danger, just as they did.

So, What Can be Done?

This attack presents an extremely difficult problem; both from a defensive point of view and from a legal one.

On the legal side, I wouldn’t be surprised if the shooter bought all of his firearms and ammo perfectly legally. Until we can develop a means of looking into people’s hearts and determining their future actions, there is no legal action we can take, which will eliminate their ability to do such heinous acts. Even then, the legality of such actions would be very questionable.

If the shooter did not buy his firearms legally, then the problem won’t be solved by passing more laws, at least not the ones that Democrats love to propose. Better enforcement of existing laws might help, but even then, a determined criminal will always be able to get guns. Just look at what happens in countries where guns are illegal; criminals still get their hands on guns.

What liberals really want is to repeal the laws of nature, rather than man’s laws. That’s what it would take to eliminate guns altogether; making it so that they could not work. But last I checked, no legislative body on the face of this earth has the authority to change natural laws.

On an individual basis, there is little that any of us could do to prevent being the victim of such an attack, other than to not be in such a place. Terrorists of all kinds, whether homegrown or international, prefer a “target rich environment,” where they can find the most potential victims. The only defense against that is to avoid places that would make attractive targets.

Even running is a poor defense from this sort of attack, as the killer was situated in a perch which allowed him an incredible view of his target area.

With everyone else running around to escape the venue, running would merely put you in the crowd which was being shot at. You might actually be better off staying put, allowing everyone else to run away from you and making yourself an unattractive target to go after.

I have carried concealed for years, and in this case, it would not have done me any good. There is no pistol on the market, which can shoot accurately at over 500 feet. If I were to be there and did shoot back, chances are I would end up putting a bullet through the window of someone else’s hotel room, possibly even killing them. There would be essentially no chance that I could hit the killer. For that, I would need a high-powered hunting rifle, with a good scope mounted on it.

This was a tragic event, but I doubt that it was a preventable one. As murders go, this one was just about perfect.

The only thing the killer did “wrong” was that it would be too easy to identify him. But then, he wasn’t concerned about that, as he had obviously planned on taking his own life, as the final act in this tragedy.

What you can do? Stay alert, and stay prepared!

This article has been written by Bill White for Survivopedia.

from Survivopedia Don't forget to visit the store and pick up some gear at The COR Outfitters. How prepared are you for emergencies? #SurvivalFirestarter #SurvivalBugOutBackpack #PrepperSurvivalPack #SHTFGear #SHTFBag

[flowisk]

hey i'm here to talk about claptrap again. i love him. anyway what i wanted to ask is why so many people in fandom infantilize him so much? (i once saw someone said "claptrap don't swear you're a baby!") like :/? i mean he.. often talks about mature stuff, but idk (i actually know, that's because he is autistic but still)

man i know i had some debates with myself at first with claptrap, bc like, he’s like, 7 (prob 8 now?) and robot age is weird (and i was interested in the thought of ‘upsettingly mature kids’) but. I don’t see much critical thought/actual debate about that aspect of his character. I had a debate with myself early on bc it’s like… I was mostly thinking about robot ages/how they would line up in comparison to human ones.

Anyway, it seems to me he is definitely intended to be an adult (you wouldn’t make the kind of fucked up sex + booze jokes we get about claptrap otherwise) +  (interestingly, we have a section of Claptastic Voyage that is sort of devoted to his ‘childhood’ and earliest memories, which is just…. super interesting development wise). He’s older than LB and Gortys too, and is the oldest robot we know in series. Actually, since Gortys’ age is confusing (’older than she looks’), I think LB might be the youngest of prominent robots in the series. So if we were going to talk about the robots based on age alone, LB is the ‘babiest’ but isn’t the kind of character who gets infantilized even though I have read some interesting nd meta on him too. (I think this is personally interesting as someone who loves LB tho… Loader bots probably don’t get to live very long and develop, and that’s part of why their ranks have been cut down in the past by Hyperion - that’s another topic for another day)

I feel people really infantilize Claptrap… no matter what you can’t really view him as a baby, and we kind of get two variations of Claptrap… either he’s a baby or he’s annoying and not worth attention. Tbqh I’m happy when people say ‘anything’ positive about him but there’s a lot of… infantilization and… underestimation? of Claptrap as a character, or just… assumptions the dude is happy with whatever when he has clear topics he’s irritated about. Like, even less than an infant, I sometimes feel people go the (bad bastion meta) route and treat him like a dog… Like there’ll be posts about how Claptraps could be great support for people. Like support animals. and it’s like… well. Claptraps are people so… that’s super uncomfortable.

I do feel Claptrap actively has some kind of insecurities as someone who… doesn’t have many close figures in his life. So in BLTPS, with a younger Claptrap, we kind of get some maternal moments with Athena or Janey (even tho he’ll also call Athena hot) bc like… Claptrap doesn’t have people in his life, and is I guess, comparatively younger than them. We also definitely get this abusive parental lean to his relationship with Jack because there’s a few comments about Jack being his dad or Jack referring to himself as Claptrap’s ‘daddy’ and belittling him. None of this makes him younger (Angel is belittled by Jack and treated as a child despite being a young adult), but I do wonder if Claptrap seeking out comforting/nurturing relationships makes him more prone to infantilization… Think there’s a high chance of that being true. He seeks out a parental attention he lacked in his development, which is, something he does as a mentally ill adult in canon I think. (since claptrap has other things going on aside from being autistic there too… definitely a big recurrent theme of neglect in claptrap’s life)I think probably, there’s an in-game issue with infantilizing Claptrap too, and that heavily contributes to it… the game itself does some… hm. kind of weird childish imagery with claptrap at times and… I think it’s because borderlands as a series doesn’t take him too seriously tbqh ._. So even in canon, we sometimes get the… ‘these traits = childish’. So I guess it’s ultimately a combination of … people don’t think very in depth about Claptrap + take some elements at surface value + the game handles him a bit unevenly sometimes.also thanks to @necromin who helped me w some thoughts + contributed some.

[1-800-444-tune]

New Moon is going to be according to my status calculations on my app on my Windows tablet , at 3: 41am on the 6th of March, coming up, in zodiac sidereal for the New Moon is Aquarius. Predictions and more details to be posted later this week as I gather evidence and write my article.

Anybody looking to make a donation today!? To a good cause: getting a new astrology program software that I can run and get your natal charts faster and easier than anywhere on the Web, and far more accurate and without the privacy invasion? Well then , help me to buy this new galaxy gear I need to do astraunomer like working with the Stars and Moon's in your Sun🔔Signs Charting Birth Chart Analysis included, I will decipher the information for you, your going to love it if we can just make it to the mark of being able to afford it!! $$$ come on guys I know that cafe astrology. Com steals your birth information and uses it right? So does any other site no matter how legit they seem, if your serious about astrology and do not want a hex or curse put on you or a super privacy invasion issue, then DONATE PLEASE TO MY COMPANY I CREATED A BUSINESS PROFILE PORTFOLIO FOR MY ONLINE ASTRO+TAROT-GUIDANCE IT'S THE BEST BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED, YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING OUT IF YOU DO NOT FOLLOW ME AND GET READINGS OR REPORTS OF ASTROLOGY as nd numerology daily , weekly, even, monthly, because I have a wealth of great accurate source divine informative details you need to know NOW about your life! You just might be headed in the wrong direction astrologically or maybe your barcodes of your life aren't adding up and we need to subtract? That's numerology! And also my tarot reliable Readings are something you just should not be missing out on ,

I have totally stopped posting the free daily and weekly horoscopes did you notice?

That's because I do not feel like I should be giving out my great divine guidance fir free anymore, I'm feeling used and over worked, also

I only post the daily card of the day for tarot then a few other specials daily, and weekly but everything else I am currently putting on hold until I can at least afford some damn toilet paper. Because I just am not dealing with helping out a bunch of people with their super important questions for free when I do not get help myself for the things I truly need, don't you think my not having fucking toilet paper is a little bit more of an emergency than whether your boyfriend or non boyfriend likes you and you're truly actually meant to be with them, I have to apologize in advance if I seem like I'm being selfish, or rude. Please, I intend to not do any harm by bringing up this fact. Only voicing that I too, have maybe, maybe just maybe, bigger problems than your issues that I think are pure selfish things st this moment in time I'm real sorry that I do feel this way, maybe being broke has made me bitter a tad ... I don't know, cause I used to always go out of my way to assist anybody even if I did not know them, and I'd concentrate on their problems more than mine always focusing on helping others instead of helping myself, now I am purely from the heart, just reaching out for just some compassionate, you do not have to donate much just 3$ or more would get me through the day, 10$ could get me the toilet paper plus my dignity. Today. So if you feel like helping a lost soul out here in the Galaxy.

My paypal account for the company business I just trying to start up now is at this address: www.paypal.com/4tunef8

Hey everyone I just want to say I care deeply about each and every tumblr blogger on here, and I sincerely hope the best for you always, and right now I am doing little candle prayer magik to send you all some healing and luck , and if you do decide to donate, just simply write to my ask box your about you donated and I will be doing a super special ritual tonight (for another reason, personal worship) but I will include your name personally into my piece , and you will truly I swear notice something great happen to you by the time of the New Moon, on the 6th like I wrote at the top of this post

I really actually did not intend for this post to get so long or go on about my personal issue, also I'd like to remind you not to judge a book by its cover, I have huge medical bills and current legal fees that I am trying so very hard to keep up with, this is a really really hard time for me, personally I am not even wanting the morning to come when I go to bed at night. I feel borderline suicidal, if that isn't hard times, I don't know what is... and I'm not even looking for sympathy, or anyone to feel anything towards me except knowing my strength of how far I've come and acknowledgement for this strength that I, an unpredictably unstable mentally ill woman of faith, have come so far from where I used to be and made it through my spiritual awakening which I thought was truly the end of the world it was doomsday dread style scary shit ! But I made it out alive! And now I am a much more magical person because I'm so blessed with my true path of destiney realised again this issue feelings of wehen I was a young teenager, it's like I get to start fresh as new beginning, I actually got a real second chance at life, because if you knew me really knew me, you'd know, that, I had strayed off the great path and was walking along a fine line where I was in constant danger daily. Hourly. I was always in harms way, just on the darkest side of life, depressed and not living for myself at all. I was not trusting my intuition, I was being abused and bullied all the time. And that constant abuse tore holes through my personality and literally metaphorically emotionally ripped me right apart inside and out. I was such a mess I hit rock bottom anxiety struck me harsh but it was good for me in the end because at rock bottom, you have no other choice but to rise up from where you currently are, it's such a true realization, but the main thing is I had gotten better from the abuse, and left finally the abusive relationship and all the other abusive people in my life because as I was going up n up no choice but up, I was gradually actually slipping into my divine timed spiritual awakening which shook my world.

My journey to progression and eventually getting back onto my rightful birth path, my destiny too, this all started my spiritual awakening and shifts in consciousness, I was truly blessed to be cursed at this time. It all started when I went to the homeless shelter in april 2018, just before my birthday it's like surreal how it was all so planned out like this, it's crazy, if you guys only knew the whole entire story of what I have gone through and the truly horrific events that I now realised were all tests, and lessons, and that's my favorite way to look at my very abusive past and the unfortunate circumstances that wound me up a homeless addict on the streets of cities I dwelled in for times that seemed so rough and brutal I thought the pain would never end. Addiction can happen to anybody. But this is something that I actually feel in my soul that I was supposed to, meant to, go through. To realize some things, I had to experience this hard lifestyle. For me to eventually get to a place of gratitude and humility and to actually drop all my selfish ways and have more compassion, and learn that I am meant to have these traits because I am a great healer. In my community I live in currently, a lot of them know my past but do not judge me one bit, they all truly appreciate my free community services that I provide for those in need, they are all suffering from mental health issues and I am treating them (not so much their mental condition but other problems they have at home or with their body) . I am really good at working with herbs, spices, and essential oils. I make and invent cures to almost anything! And I have a biig book of herbal remedies that I, myself , have invented or have found online and then tweaked the recipe to bed much better!! This is volume. 001.2 of my Book Of Shadows. I have written so very many books about magik and the laws of the universe. I cherish my sacred personal theories and extensive wealth of knowledge I have collected. I'm just good at organizing this shit for some reason. If I wasn't so private of a person and afraid of people stealing my information without my consent then I would gladly post more of this type of stuff then I already have,in this blog and my other one which is personally a better one.

Anyways, now you know where I stand, where I come from a little bit.

I really really hope that somebody will take the time to donate to me this day so that I may be I can feel better and like somebody actually cares. I have over spent to the max on credit cards with online shopping, and shipping all kinda of witchy trinkets and necessities, the basics, I am stuck with a huge credit card bill, and I have my boyfriends credit card that I did not know until yesterday, but, he put everything to be on me. He totally used my Health Card and SIN # TO GET WHATEVER HE WANTED BUYING SHUT ONLINE AND SHIPPING TECH STUFF TO HIS FRIEND! I feel like I got scammed and I'm damned or something !! Not only am going to be suffering from PTSD and anxiety around men forever, because of this selfish Identity use basically total FRAUD, I AM NOW stuck in a bad position and with a bill and now the worst part is that I am actually facing federal prison because of some of the activity he did while assuming my identity ?.. thanks ?

I feel very very stupid, I feel like a total idiot for listening to my ex-commonlaw boyfriend, I'm glad I just decided to give him literally all of the furniture and all the shit we owned. It makes me feel less guilty about all the negative emotions I have towards him. I know it does not make it right but it does help believe it or not, because J eventually end up thinking about it as a positive .

If you have at least got this far through this rambling write up post , then congratulations, sincerely- thankyou for listening !

You are amazing

You have a purpose

Find your destiny

☆you're made of star stuff, you're a star!

You are perfectly imperfect

Your magic is valid

No matter who you are or how experienced you are in Pagan Tradition /Wicca and Witchcraft/The Occult or any related subjects and interests in lifestyle choices, your magic is valid! It doesn't matter if you JUST decided to become a witch TODAY or 5 minutes ago, that title is yours to hold onto and have forever or for as long as you decide!

Everybody is special!

Everyone is worth it!

Nobody deserves to be bullied or told they are wrong for what they believe in, simply , everyone's path is unique and it's just not four to critic anybody for the path they are choosing! There's a lot of confused witchlings baby witches and some bullying religious type overgrown babies out there. I think everyone should just have a little more like a lot more respect , because it can be intimidating to anybody who wants to share their opinions that they might feel are good ideas but are second guessing the post they want to make based on fear around the way some communities are reacting and trying to police these people's opinions. As far as I know this blog site was actually created to actually share your opinions without judgement and harsh exchange of words based on the content context. I can relate to this oppression. I feel as if not only does it sometimes the fear of rejection stop me from posting but also I have a big fear of being hated on for a lengthy and slightly random post I write it then I delete it right away. It's just that I actually have severe symptoms of A.D.D that my doctor is not currently helping me to treat, so I can get a bit off track sometimes, and my subjects vary like for example in my main post it starts as a simple astro galactic observations post, my starting of this post I just realize was about the New Moon . Then I started talking about my software that I cannot afford and then i went on to talk about my emergency thats actually bothering me even more , the fact that i cannot wipe my ass today and i do not live near any restursnts or anywhrr literally that has toilet paper availible in their washroom or else id just go to McDonalds and use theur washroom, simple as that...but not availible sorry, and now that im still rambling ans have your attention i have an offer actually for some people that do donate, I'd like people to donate towards so that I can provide a few lucky people with

Free Natal Astral Chart plus some informative explanations about your planetary alignments with accurate predictions to your life. I could eventually provide a much more accurate source of information in my reports than I do with this program I'm running off my laptop as of right now, but currently if you'd like a real actual Astrologer like produced Natal Chart , I am calling everyone to donate to this account here www.paypal.com/4tunef8 and let me know in my ask box that you have donated to my space cosmos exploration programming software .

This is getting way too long I know, but if you really did actually read some of this message at least the good parts, then please share my link to my paypal in your blog with a short excerpt on why they should donate to me , my cause, my business (just started) , and also donate to the astraunomer cosmos Explorer Division Technology that I am so very excited about but I know I have way bigger problem,than, that, but I just wanted to give you guys an idea if what I can do for you. We can make a trade? Please!? To dedicate my time and efforts to assisting every one with their issues gives me great joy, I just love to be useful, and a helping healing hand to any literally anybody , and so ooo much of my days are spent spending my hard earned money on others . To make them that herbal remedy for their skin they truly need because every skincare product on the market is littered with toxic shit that causes bad reactions and the treatments for acne I make that I've invented do not infect or irritate the skin, so they need me, and they cannot afford this 290$ treatment but I actually spend MY money each month just to get the satisfaction of doing the right thing as nd also satisfaction that my products produce results that are beyond what I ever expected of them, sometimes I need a confidence booster and this once a month or twice sometimes, spending I do to make and create this great acne treatment that's herbal and more of a holistic approach.

My greatest flaw right now is not my addiction or the abuse I'm going through anymore, I don't live on the streets (yet) have a pretty decent apartment but my greatest flaw is helping people if that can even be a flaw? It is though, I have so many many more examples of times during the month that I am called up "hey witch doctor, we got a problem, are you free?"

I am on paranormal investigating teams in surrounding communities as well, this takes out so much energy, time, and yes, you guessed it, money !!

Anyways again I am actually going to close this rant ramble weird thoughts flowing from my mentally ill mind.

I truly truly hope that somebody, just 1 person even, does decide to care enough about me , a poor lost soul, to donate some about, it's all up to you, I'm not putting any rules and I just am not one to tell people what to do or how to spend their hard earned dollars or anything like I do not push ideas onto people, I'm just not like that, I totally believe in freedom for all, I don't wish for world peace at night because I know that that isn't possible, there's some cultures that just do not mix and a lot of cultures prefer to stick to their own and that's great because how else would the culture survive and the traditions live on to the next generations if they were mixed with a bunch of other cultures and lost their true identities as a nation , that would be sort of sad in a way, but I'm really not properly medicated and should not even maybe be observational posting about this when in not well in the mind fully yet this day. But a donation will help me to wipe my ass and that's my main goal.

Kk,baiii, don't hate, just donate #freefaeona #donation #astrology #worldwide #tarotreading

Ps: Actually ANYBODY that donates me more than 10$ today and the rest of the week too, I have an offer, I will do a FREE TAROT READING OF 3 FREE QUESTIONS FOR YOU, BECAUSE I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH!!

And anybody that shares my link to my paypal explaining that I'm giving free tarot Readings to anyone that's gunna donate! I will give you a YEARS HOROSCOPE OUTLOOK, BASED ON MY VERY ACCURATE SOURCES OF GENERATED HOROSCOPES I RECIEVE THEY'RE THE SAME ONES I USED TO POST ON HERE SO YOU KNOW THEY'RE GUNNA BE GOOD, THEN

Anybody that donates and says it's towards my astro-cosmos software, I'll do up a FREE ABSOLUTELY, JUST THE COST OF YOUR DONATION, I'LL DO YOUR NATAL BIRTH CHART FOR YOU, WITH THE SEMIPRO PROGRAM I HAVE RIGHT NOW,

So there's my offers and anybody that blogs about these offers and tags me in them, is just an amazing person and gets the luckiest prize of all, they get entered into a draw to win a free natal chart birth chart wow yeah and and and I'm gunna give an astrology reading to you very reliable accurate information details you will WANT TO KNOW!!

[captainthief]

Michael Jones, Fidget Cubes, Serial Killers, and the movie ‘Split’

Let me start this out by saying that Michael Jones is one of my favorite people to ever exist. Ask any of my friends, and they’ll tell you how I’m constantly raving about how funny he is and how cool he is and what a good person he is. If I didn’t believe in that last bit so completely, I wouldn’t even be writing this post—I’ve seen personalities like him react badly, or completely ignore, issues like this, but I’m writing this because I firmly believe that if Michael does read it, he would accept what I have to say and take it to heart.

For those who don’t know who Michael Jones is--he’s a good guy, who happened to say something careless. Please read anyway.

So, today, the newest episode of my favorite podcast, OffTopic, was released on Youtube. The boys got on the topic of the Fidget Cube that’s been a huge trend lately. I was ecstatic to hear them talk about it and how much money it raised on kickstarter! But then Michael said that they’re something serial killers would definitely have, and my heart sank.

For background: I am Autistic. All of this information is what I have learned from participating in Autistic communities—I’m not a psychologist, though I do often discuss these things with several trained professionals. Anyway, among Autistic people and other similarly neurodiverse people (conditions like OCD, ADHD, and Dissociative Disorders, for example) ‘fidget toys’ have been a thing for a while—rings that have spinning parts, or necklaces that you can chew on, or puzzle toys like Rubix Cubes, ect. That’s because people of these neurotypes are often either ‘overstimulated’ or ‘understimulated’—either there’s too much going on for their brains to process, or there’s too little going on and the person has excess energy. At these times, neurodiverse people will do what is known as “stimming”—repetitive physical movements or actions. For the understimulated, this gives them a task to do, and for the overstimulated, it becomes a grounding action to focus on. Stimming takes many forms, often just seeming like the person is an especially energetic or fidgety person—things like tapping, or clicking your tongue, or shaking your leg. However, some people are compulsively drawn to less socially acceptable “stims”, like rocking back and forth or flapping your hands. That’s why fidget toys were developed—to help people like this stim without being socially inappropriate.

So when I heard the boys talk about the Fidget Cube, I got excited, because it’s rare that ND (neurodiverse) related things hit the mainstream, especially things that are actually good for ND people and not abusive (more on that in a bit). It didn’t matter to me that the boys seemed to think it was kind of silly—even the fact that they were talking about it meant that maybe some ND behaviors can start to be more normalized in public.

And then we get to the Serial Killers. Michael said something along the lines of “I’m not saying that everyone who has a Fidget Cube is a Serial Killer, but probably every Serial Killer has a Fidget Cube”. I can understand perfectly why he said something like this—for a brief second my mind turned towards agreement, before I realized the implications of Michael’s words. Here’s the thing: Michael phrased his words that way intending to be non-offensive to people who use the Fidget Cubes, and that’s why I think he may listen to me about this, but frankly, it wasn’t good enough and is still a harmful statement.

Here’s why: even with their recent popularity among the general population, fidget toys are for Neurodiverse people. They have proven significant psychological benefits for us. Whether neurotypical people find them fun or comforting, they were developed for the neurodiverse. When you think of a fidget toy being used, you’re probably imagining a person with noticable symptoms of neurodiversity (cue Trevor with the Adderall joke, both funny and accurate). So even if you say not all people with Fidget Cubes are Serial Killers, when you say All Serial Killers have Fidget Cubes, you’re probably associating Serial Killers with noticeable symptoms of neurodiversity. You’re saying all Serial Killers have symptoms, and so probably a large percentage of Serial Killers are neurodiverse.

Again, I can’t really blame Michael for having that unconscious association. Most people would. That’s because most people have a very disproportional idea of how Serial Killers and mental illness/disability relate. Most of it’s media related—just look at that new movie Split, which completely twists Dissociative Identity Disorder into something it’s not, to scare people. The fact is, ‘scary’ mental disorders—Autism, Schizophrenia, ect—do scare neurotypical people, and so they are associated with other scary things, like Serial Killers. That’s not to say no Serial Killers are mentally ill—many are—but it’s not nearly as high a percentage as common perception would have you believe.

To many people, this all probably seems like something small to make a fuss over. Why does one little joke matter? Well, here’s why: because neurodiversity is almost never acknowledged by the general population, except as something scary. Let’s use Split as an example again—most people would probably call it ‘multiple personalities’. Try to think of every instance where you’ve heard those words—I can guarantee that for most people, it will only have been in Jekyll/Hyde-esque scenarios, where the “other personality” is mean or evil or socially unacceptable. So what? Well, there’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17, when most people develop more definitive personalities, that feels like they’re two or more people. There’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17 who feels like they are more than one person living in one body. There’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17 who feels like this and sees an ad for Split. There’s probably more than one child from the age of 7-17 who sees that ad, maybe several times, and thinks that’s scary and that’s evil. There’s probably more than one child who actively tells themselves “I don’t want to be that”, and try to convince themselves that they’re a ‘normal’ person, and ignore what’s going on in their own heads so that they aren’t rejected by others. There are millions of mentally ill people in the world—but because mental illness is scary, there are also millions of mentally ill people in the world that refuse to believe they are mentally ill, and so are unable to get the treatments that could vastly improve their quality of life. There’s also millions of non-mentally ill people in the world, who will avoid the mentally ill as though they’re contagious, or bully them for behaviors they can’t control, or even kill them.

And so I return to Michael. Michael, I’m not going to say “educate yourself on these issues”, because I don’t expect you to do that. I’m not going to say “You need to apologize”, because there’s no way you knew that you were feeding into this issue. If you end up reading this, then saying what you did may even have been a good thing, because this way, I can let you know something you wouldn’t have known. Michael, all I’m going to ask from you, and anyone else who reads this, is to remember 7 words: mentally ill people are not bad people. This little phrase works in reverse, too: bad people are not mentally ill people.

When you said that Serial Killers would have Fidget Cubes, you probably had an image in your head of a character from a movie or story off the news. That person probably had some trait that made you uncomfortable—obsessiveness, or hyperactivity, or lack of eye contact, ect. Michael, when you think “that person is so creepy”, I want you to think, “but there are good people with the same traits”. I want you to think, “Just because there’s ‘something wrong’ with them doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with them”. All I want, is for you to be aware that on some level, you do associate mental illness/disability with bad, scary things—if you are aware of your own bias, then you may be able to begin to take a step back from your own thoughts, and think, “There it is. That’s wrong.”

I just want people to realize that we all tend to see “mentally disabled” as “bad”, and that it’s unfair.