#I'll try to post something soon!!!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)

[blackkatdraws2]

Voice of Fate. [Achromatic Loop AU]

[amogus-real-not-clickbait]

part 1 of a little comic / art sequence that i've been working on! :D it's part tribute, part experimenting with brushes n colors and trying new thingz :]

and thus continues my endless quest of spreading the carrot fics like a plague! if you've seen my art floating around you probs already figured that this au holds a very special place in my heart, forever and always!!

if you haven't heard of it, it's a fic series by @crowned-ladybug called carrot soup!! it made me wish i could speak colors and i need more people to share my struggle xd

go check it out if you're into sweet voice lore and qpr level gayness and just wanna feel warm and soft and warm (hurt/comfort my beloved) <333 there are some heavier themes cos everyone's traumatized but they're working through it! be sure to check the tags and stay safe! <3

[deoidesign]

quick traditional piece for fun ^^

[biblically-accurate-dca]

day 22: maid dress/sailor uniform ♡

i already drew a sailor uniform so here's a maid dress !! would you let them into your home (to clean it)

[chocodile]

Hyden and Deliria for elephantbroFA on Twitter! Trying to cut a deal with a genie can be risky, but trying to do cut a deal with a Hyden might be an even worse idea.

[soundwave-and-cassettes]

I am once again trying to sell a whole bunch of transformers stuff:

-Pharma itabag: SOLD

-small items: plush starscream and drift faces (drift has a different expression on the back, starscream has his altmode. not the same artist, idk where I got these.), necklace from TheManlyLobster (SOLD), seekers crystal ball standee (SOLD),

-various plush: kitty soundwave (Shattered Needle), drift, pharma, brainstorm, and purple fremble (MythfitCreations), Tarn (SOLD), shattered needle Pharma (SOLD), knockout (SOLD)

DM me with offers or if you want more photos of anything! Thanks for looking!

[icewindandboringhorror]

................ he 

[twig-tea]

TWIG! Friend! I couldn't help but notice your tags in my excitement post about getting to La Pluie -- I see that you and I are YYY mutuals. :) Let's call YYY... say... zany or offbeat -- off the beaten path of the usual romance-dominated field of Thai BLs. What are some other "zanier" BLs (not just Thailand, but everywhere in Asia) that you love and would recommend for an off-the-wall experience? And, why?

@waitmyturtles I'm so sorry you sent this a million years ago and then I kept letting it languish. And it's extra rude because I love this question! It's so hard to add something like YYY to a rec list without a billion caveats, so this is a great chance to shout out some of the series & shorts that don't get as much attention. A few of these I know you've seen but I have to include them for completeness.

First, for the sake of other people reading this, as Turtles has written about, Cheewin brings his own kind of zaniness to almost everything he works on; my faves of his other than YYY are Make It Right and Secret Crush on You (the exception is Bed Friend, which is not in any way zany but I still liked it).

Also going to mention that since Turtles asked for off the beaten path zany, I won't be mentioning any of the popular comedies (in case you're wondering why I Became the Lead in A BL Drama or Man Who Defies the World of BL aren't on this list).

Alright now that's out of the way, let's get into the other recs!

Zany lesser-known BLs other than YYY

Ossan's Love Franchise (Japanese, 2016-2024, GagaOOLala)

It is... less true now that this series is lesser-known than it was when I started writing this draft (in uh... August 2023) but I shall persist! The franchise details alone for this series are complete crack:

A 2016 45-minute short [skippable imo];

The 2018 original series which builds the short into a zany 7-episode comedy series about a man in his late 20s who suddenly finds himself the love interest of his older boss (in his ~50s) and his coworker/roommate (in his mid-20s);

The sequel film Ossan's Love: Love or Dead (2019)which turns into an action film halfway through for no clear reason but also remains a romantic comedy in which the mains from the original season decide if they want to stay together

The AU season Ossan's Love: In the Sky (2019) which has the same characters of the lead and his boss from S1 and the short, but this time they work in an airport and all of the surrounding cast is different and leads to a very confusing love rhombus. Incredible 10/10 no notes [people hate this because they like the mains from S1 & the film but I loved the mess]

The sequel season to S1 and the film, Ossan's Love Returns (2024) which you can absolutely watch in isolation and is about the main couple re-establishing their relationship and their found family friend group after being long distance for a few years.

It's truly excellent comedy, and gets better every outing; there are some barriers that might prevent some enjoying the earlier seasons but the most recent one is really delightful. You can hear me talk more about this series with @bengiyo and @shortpplfedup on The Conversation podcast!

Diary of Tootsies (Thai, 2017, grey/Netflix (for the movie))

I love Diary of Tootsies and the follow-ups so much. SO much. One of the best laughs of my life was the opening to the movie, and I cannot be in a long car ride without thinking about the purse incident in s1. This show doesn't get a lot of BL fandom attention because the romance arcs are not typical for BL (but that's one of the things I love about them). And the friendship in this series is truly what sells it. Season 1 is self-contained, a lot of people dislike the romance plot of S2; I really like the arc across s2 to the movie (as established above, I tend to be less invested in a particular ship across a franchise or multiple franchises). The movie plot is all about reconciling who you thought you wanted and who you are with (amongst all kinds of shenanigans).

HeHe and He (Hong Kong, 2018-ongoing, YouTube)

This mockumentary sitcom-style series does tackle some serious topics and is also absolutely hilarious nonsense across its 3 seasons. The very simple premise is that a gay guy ("hehe" is slang for gay) and a straight guy who are old friends become roommates when the gay friend breaks up with his longterm boyfriend and needs a place to stay, and hijinks ensue. They do direct-to-camera confessionals spliced in with scenes from their lives. I love this show so much, and it would actually be high up in my indie BL rankings if it were completed. I lose it at least once an episode. It's very queer (if you want a show that tackles everything from hookups to turning everything into a joke to being so, so mean to each other while also loving each other dearly to even chemsex, look no further), and I am in love with all of the wacky characters that have formed a love-hate found family that is deeply relatable. The creators posted a video a few months ago saying they're struggling to end it in a way that they're happy with so I'm not sure we'll ever get an ending for the show. But if you like comedy and queer content it's worth a watch even incomplete! I've been very patiently following this project since 2018 and it's legitimately one of my favourite shows.

Rainbow Prince the Series (Filippino, 2022, YouTube)

This is a musical; it is a lot of campy nonsense. There is royalty, political intrigue, a dog, kidnappings, and so. much. singing. The songs are surprisingly catchy and it's all extremely good fun. Also a lot of the dialogue is very clearly improvised.

Hey! First Love (Vietnamese, 2019, YouTube)

This series of shorts are mostly just silly fluff. The very tenuous plot is that these shorts are slice-of-life moments from a young established couple, but it's all really just excuses for Vietnamese comedy and BL romance tropes. If you haven't watched anything from Vietnam, this is a very low-stakes commitment (I think it's under 30 minutes of content all told; there are 4 "episodes" which are spliced together shorts, each of which has a tiny plot but there is not much of an overarching narrative, and then a Q&A with the actors at the end) and gives you a sense of the Vietnamese sense of humour. Both of these actors have gone on to continue to be in other Vietnamese BLs, so if you have watched Vietnamese BL you may recognize them! The production quality on this is charmingly low.

Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (India, 2019, Amazon Prime)

This film was such a joy to experience in a live theatre. Billed "the first Gay Bollywood RomCom", this movie was a riot of chaos, dance numbers, shenanigans, hilarity, and cuteness. I loved the way this film incorporated the very real legal change to decriminalize homosexuality in its story. Arguably not "BL" as it very much fits in the bollywood tradition not the BL tradition, but OP did ask for all of Asia!

Like Love (China, 2014-15, grey)

And no I don't mean censored--this is from before China started censoring its BLs. This show has kisses as shown in the gif, and even (poorly cropped) sex scenes. It also is super bizarre. I was so confused by this show, the characterization, the fourth wall breaks, and how disjointed it was so I went to read the source material and...it turns out it's one of the most perfect adaptations I've ever seen, the book is in fact exactly like this. The characters are caricatures, there is no bridging between scenes, and the plot is the most absurd take on 'loserfail no-thoughts-head-empty character who doesn't admit he's gay but still ends up in a dedicated and loving relationship with a rich handsome domineering man ' I've ever seen. It's a bewildering experience. Note the sound quality on this one is suuuper miserable. I like s2 way more than s1 (s1 is getting together and includes a lot of the bullying-teasing and I'm-not-gay-I-just-need-him-to-pay-attention-to-me stuff, s2 is the honeymoon phase + getting the homophobic parents on board) but S1 is definitely the zanier of the two. That being said, if you wanted, I think you can dive right in to s2 (there's a direct-to-camera explanation of what happened in s1 at the start of it). Note that they set up a cliffhanger at the end of 2 in anticipation of s3 which was going to be made in 2016 but was cancelled because of the political changes in China in 2016 (this is one of the reasons I went to read the source material; they do get a happy ending in the books).

This is an extremely silly but also touching franchise with a lot of tropes I don't love, but also a lot of things I do (and just neat to see some stuff so early in BL: Underwater kiss? Helicopter ride? Femme fatale becomes friend of the faen? Supportive grandparent? It's all here). There are some fantastic speeches in s2 about supporting your gay children; I liked how in this the kids didn't give up on their parents but try to reconcile their filial piety with their dedication to each other. If you do watch S1, highly recommended you watch the series version rather than the film. For "S2"/the follow-up film, make sure you look for the uncensored film version.

The Lover Room 709 Cut (Korean/Japanese, 2016, grey)

This starts extremely silly, plays with BL tropes, and gets a little bit serious at the end but is mostly just full of puns and innuendos. Includes one of the most hilarious takes on kabedon, and egregious use of the soundtrack from Brokeback Mountain. Also: fart jokes. Folks worried it was going to stay teasing the audience but it does commit and we do get an actual resolution that is satisfying. I admit I've never seen the whole series (which includes stories of 3 other couples in the apartment building) but the BL cut is readily available if you search. Make sure you look for the deleted scene with the lotion application--this scene walked so IFYLITA could run (I'm kidding, but it's very funny seeing this scene now and thinking about that one).

The Boy Next Door (Korean, 2018, YouTube)

This is another older series playing with censorship (similar to The Lover) in which the two characters end up in BL romance tropes but are not actually in love...or are they? The shenanigans are very fun. This one is left more ambiguous than The Lover, which is one of the reasons it's further down the list.

Go! Go! G-Boys (Taiwan, 2006, grey)

I debated between this and another quirky comedy from Taiwan in the early 2000s, Formula 17, but while that's unequivocally a better movie, this one is lesser known and more zany, so it technically better fits the bill for this ask (but if you haven't, go watch Formula 17!). The plot is a bit cringe--straight boy signs up to gay beauty contest to pay off his girlfriend's debts (accompanied by his gay childhood friend who is in love with him) and finds his truth. Meanwhile a homophobic police officer has also infiltrated the contest for investigative purposes. Amongst all that admittedly not great setup, however, are several bizarre sequences including the incredible Lord of the Rings recreation scene (complete with Gatchaman of course), a killer soundtrack, a random delivery of poultry, someone slapping a cake, and, most absurdly unbelievable at all: police taking harassing death threats to the gay contest seriously. It does a great job of setting up what should be a dramatic scene and then immediately undercutting the tension with something absurd. It's not narratively good, but it is a fun ride! And yes, there is a happy ending. Stick around for a fourth wall break (literally) after the credits.

Something Crunchy Crunchy (Korean, 2018, GagaOOLala)

Extremely bizarre little musical short in which snacks are anthropomorphized as hot guys and they sing songs about being eaten and wanting to be eaten. Played entirely sincerely, but the concept is screamingly funny. Fascinating. Also, kind of poly?

Dom (Korean, 2016, GagaOOLala)

Another hilarious and weird Korean short, this time in which we see the protagonist's sex life from the perspective of the condom boxes that are anthropomorphized and given personalities based on their brands.

And since we can't leave out the ladies,

A few zany GLs:

Lily Fever (Korean, 2015, YouTube)

I wrote about this one a little in my GL rec list; it is absolutely bonkers nonsense. There is not really a plot, it's a fever dream of a show. Chaos! Not so much a romance as an excuse to see cute girls flirt and make out.

Legend of Yunqian (China, 2020, grey)

I debated including this one because only the middle is really the zany part, it's sandwiched with more serious xianxia drama. But in the middle of this miniseries is an extremely cute interlude in which xianxia characters time travel to present day for ~reasons. It's censored but there is very little uncertainty about feelings, and manages to be absolutely charming. Worth the short runtime for this kitten quickcut (subbed "Whomst?!" in the show for ultimate comedy). Warning for character death (but it's ok because time travel to reincarnated character!) Subtitled by the indispensable @douqi7s [see their pinned post for links].

BetCin (Filippino, 2022, WeTV)

A lesbian couple with a YouTube following decide to break up but then find out there's a contest for couples, and they decide to pretend to still be together to try and win the contest rather than tell their fans they've broken up. This series does some really interesting things by starting with a breakup and then looking at how two people who are no longer dating manage BGP while also managing their feelings. There's a lot going on in this show, and the hijinks definitely ensue!

Perfect One Night Stand (Korean, 2020, GagaOOLala)

This is a cute Strongberry GL short in which a friend agrees to help her other friend find a girl to have sex with before the day is over; they go through several quirky candidates looking for the titular perfect one night stand.

[adagiorii]

To my followers who gaf about my OC lore (ilysm): I do want to do that breakdown of the symbolism of Eiko's uniform and other worldbuilding stuff that I mentioned on a recent post, the reason why I haven't done it yet is bc I have to explain other worldbuilding first and I want to make a proper post for that since it's important

I'm not ignoring your interest I just want to put some time into making that Lore Dump so it's as concise as possible

This is also a good time to say I see everyone who reblogs my posts and all of the sweet things you guys say so thank you so much, giving you all a big hug rn. You know who you are ❤️🫶

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 11 thoughts

dare i say it… new favorite episode?

whatever expectations i had, they were blown away. usually the episode after a two episode arc feels weird and stiff, but this? this hit every box on a checklist i didn’t even know i had.

i’m bouncing off the walls right now. i'm pacing my room and mumbling to myself while gesticulating wildly. i am filled with an energy that caffeine has not ONCE given me. and it's called "your character, that is so near and dear to you, got an episode dedicated just to exploring their inner life and workings and belief system and faith in God and the world". try it if you get a chance.

so let us begin. let me give you my verbatim notes, so you can watch the excitement grow.

oh boy! oh boy oh boy! i am excited! and i know by now to not expect any real continuation from the last episode, but i’m still excited because the last two were so good! and this one is like… good omens? with a kid that can start the end of the world?

wow. never have i thought to myself, how would mulder and scully handle biblical revelations? but here i am. wondering it.

hope the kid is chill. hope he has good vibes. mulder will like him anyway because he’s actually a huge softie but still better if he’s got good vibes.

we open on a sermon. the priest or pastor- depending on the denomination- whatever his title is, he is talking about faith. saying that miracles are real. and now he’s shaking and moaning. is this one of those churches?

OH HE’S BLEEDING from between his knuckles like some sort of blood wolverine. people are looking at him, thinking, what is going on? and this is something i am also wondering. maybe it was fake though…. little capsules in his hands, maybe???

he’s dabbing off his makeup now. as a man enters his dressing room. saying that some people really do believe. but he’s being weird.

and then this guy escalates to murder. and when he touches this pastor he’s burning up??? huh??? a firebender?? in pennsylvania??

THE INTRO WAS DIFFERENT AGAIN THIS TIME. WHY DOES IT CHANGE. i have come to know these beats VERY well!! they are like a heartbeat to me. you cannot simply alter them as you see fit!

scully looking at the body of the dead pastor/priest, talking about how it looks like rope burns around his neck. mulder crouching VERY close by.

HEHEHEHEHE mulder is like “he was bleeding from his hands like the crucifixion” and scully goes “stigmata?” heheheheheeeee i’m blushing

(talking about belief systems is apparently a way to my heart? like c'mon, tell me how you understand the universe and which elements you surrender to knowing that you will never comprehend. you look cute while doing it)

no wounds on the hands, though… so mulder licks the blood. and i froze JUST as scully makes this horrified face... i’m CRYING. yes, it is fake blood, and yes, he has some on his lips and teeth, and yes, its adorable. but what a risky move!

ohhh he was wearing a sugar pump sort of thing! yum yum. couldn't be me, i'd be slurping that.

so mulder has been tracking religious murders related to stigmatics (excellent word!)

scully’s talking about how certain people believe at any given time there are 12 stigmatics in the world. and they represent the 12 apostles. and i’m blushing terribly.

nods solemnly. i am learning a lot about myself through this show.

scully you are so preeeeetty. 

okay, cut to elementary school in ohio. kevin is blowing spitballs. his teacher is bullying him into doing math on the board. when all of a sudden, his hands start bleeding!! and we see that he has the holes!!!

he’s in the nurse’s office still when mulder and scully show up. damn how did they get to ohio that fast… OHHH they had put out an FBI alert and maybe this happened more than once.  yes, this is exactly what is explained mere moments after i made the initial comment.

so it happened BEFORE, and they assumed it was an incident of abuse, but it wasn’t proven. still, his dad was institutionalized after saying Kevin was chosen by God. okay! things escalated. 

scully is talking to the boy. she feels his forehead and says he feels feverish. okay doctor!! and she says he is very brave. queen. smart and kind.

mulder is meeting kevin’s mom. explaining that he might be in danger from a religious fanatic.

oh! the thermometer in his mouth broke. straight up exploded. hope that was fake mercury in there.

they’re going to put kevin back “into the shelter” which i feel like would make him an easier target for a serial killer?? but on the off chance it WAS his mom, it would make him safer. so mixed feelings here.

mom yells at the teacher, teacher says she loves her job, and mulder has this excellent smile. then waves scully out to leave. it was kinda funny to me for some reason, the waving her out. quite domestic. 

mulder thinks the kid did the cuts to himself to get his father back. hmm. not buying it. so they go to talk to kevin's dad. 

dad claims the forces of darkness have been watching kevin. in the great war between good and evil. he’s really talking to scully and he says they just “come full circle to find the truth”. she says dude idk what that means?? and he says “you will” okay... i’m creeped out a bit!!!

kevin is back at the children’s home. telling a bunch of other kids scary stories. and he seems to be explaining a scary guy who is walking into the building as the storytelling goes on. just as the scary guy enters, all the kids leave. scary guy is looking at the wounds on kevin’s hands!

soon after, mulder is with the group of children who saw the guy. we learn here that mulder is 6 foot 1. which is very funny. 

kevin was abducted by the fellow it seems he was describing before his arrival!!! and his mom seems to blame scully. she looks really upset.

they see the drawing that they think does not look like a real person, and kevin’s mom is like it’s owen, who did the yard work. 

so it’s owen time. he’s carved noah’s ark and he has kevin. but he says he can’t let him go home. because it isn’t safe. he refers to himself as kevin’s guardian angel. hmm. that makes me suspicious.

owen grabs a shotgun when a car pulls up. but the agents get him to put it down and scully is on a quest to find the little dude. and he was there… but now he isn’t?

so owen says God asked him to protect kevin. 

OH ANGRY MULDER IS GONNA QUOTE SCRIPTURE AT YOU!!!!! now give him some DAMN ANSWERS!

owen is like, well YOU believe, don’t you scully, because you have that necklace on. he’s calling her a BAD CHRISTIAN??? the audacity….

then owen gets up and JUMPS OUT THE WINDOW??? and runs away??? somehow??

(mulder jumped down from the porch to chase owen, and his big coat floated around him like a cape... i giggled)

now where did this dude go...?

kevin made it home!!! he’s yelling for his mom. she doesn’t seem to be there, but someone rang the doorbell. and we only see a quick glance but it LOOKS like the killer!!! 

who burns off the doorknob with his firebending!!! so yes, it is the og killer from the start of the episode! he comes in and asks for kevin. saying he knows he’s here.

mom, now would be a good time to roll up with a gun. 

he picks up a family photo and sees kevin in a picture then checks the closet to see if he’s in there but kevin is in the hamper. and the hamper is bleeding!!! dead giveaway. 

but owen rolls up just as the firebender guy opens the hamper, and starts fighting for him!! so kevin is making a break for it!!!

he runs and runs and RUNS INTO MULDER!!!! scully is telling him that he will be okay.

they only find dead owen. no firebender.

and kevin asks scully if she was sent to protect him… she does not seem to know what to say because. do you mean like by the government... or jesus?

autopsy time!!!! she’s talking into the voice recorder like always. it always gives vlog energy. anyway, his body looks very much alive. despite the very much dead thing. 

mulder interrupts this. and scully asks him to SMELL the dude. he obliges. with only a smirk!

scully says he smells a bit… floral.

OMG!! OMG I RECOGNIZE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. they talk about it in the brothers karamazov, how a holy body is said to stay intact and even smell good when it ought to be decomposing. so the real question is: is she imagining it?

i mean, she is the body expert. so i’d want to say no. but also, this dude was playing with her head. so it’s hard to say. i'd think she would identify the body correctly no matter what, but a little smell hallucination thanks to the power of suggestion cannot be ruled out in any situation.

AND SHE TALKS ABOUT IT!! apparently it is something you learn in catechism. okay, well i just picked it up from that summer i got through that book, but we all learn somewhere. mulder is like “you’re serious?” and i feel he should be encouraging this open discussion rather than ridiculing it. AND SHE STARTS NAMING SAINTS IT HAPPENED TO!

mulder is saying that those things didn’t really happen, and i’m not taking this from alien man.

mulder has transitioned into listening mode now. OH! SCULLY! she says:

“isn’t a saint or a holy person just another term for someone who’s abnormal?”

“do you really believe that?”

“i… believe in the idea that God’s hand can be witnessed. i believe he can create miracles, yes”

“even if science can’t explain them?”

“maybe that’s just what faith is”

YES! YES I AM CHEERING AND JUMPING UP AND DOWN. we were owed a scully-centric episode, and never did i even THINK we would get something so aligned with my interests that we’d start exploring her religious beliefs and how that intertwines with her faith in science and her work. that sounds like something i’d write a fic for because it’s hyper specific to my interests. but no. this is CANON!

mulder is saying that she shouldn’t get swept up in these things (and how ironic that the roles are reversed! it’s exquisite. we’ve found his weak point, he’ll believe in anything but a Christian God)

scully is lost in thought. taking a deep breath. steeling herself.

pause. it’s a scene change. but mulder has a pencil in his teeth. it’s adorable, really. he takes it out to write something.

they pulled prints from owen’s neck!! burned right onto the skin. and they found who did it!! the man i was previously calling the firebender, his real name is simon gates, one of the south’s wealthiest men, arrested 3 years ago on a DUI. 

so then he went to israel, and this is how i learned of something called “jerusalem syndrome”, where people come back from the holy land with religious delusions. i have not heard of this before. but it could be a motive. except for the whole burning fingerprints into necks thing. i'm unfamiliar with any sort of place turning you into prince zuko.

okay, so someone saw kevin with his mom the same time he was seen with a social worker??? doubles?? twins??? ghosts??

kevin and his mom are on the side of the road with a broken down car, when who pulls up but SIMON!!

she asks what he wants and he says “i think you know”, then kevin makes a break for it.

now. can an old man outrun a child? children have small legs, but boundless energy.

BUT HE’S RUNNING?? AND ANOTHER KEVIN GETS OUT OF THE CAR??? to talk to his injured mom. then running kevin DISAPPEARED!!! AND MOM HITS THE DUDE WITH A CAR!!!

sadly, it wasn’t out of excellent aim that she hit him, but rather because she had her face smacked into the ground by simon and was concussed or something similar. she drove into a ditch. 

NO!!! KEVIN IS SAYING SHE DIED BECAUSE OF HIM. DEATH??? I JUST THOUGHT WE WERE DEALING WITH CONCUSSION HERE?

i guess it can be a quick trip from one to the next. but i'm sad for poor kevin.

scully is near him, telling him she promises she won’t let simon hurt kevin. OH LORD, YOU GOT HER PROMISING THINGS, SMALL CHILD.

he doesn’t want to go back to the shelter. and she says he doesn’t have to. are they going to take this small child for a bit….?

she avoids mulder’s gaze when telling him she wants kevin to come with them, saying she is not getting personally involved, but like mulder is gonna complain having a kid around. 

(he actually didn't seem to have his typical instincts kick in today. how curious...)

and turns out simon rented the car under the name of one of the devil’s disciples. yikes!

so creepy simon is watching this go down despite being hit by a car. 

back to the motel. scully is running kevin a bath and sees he has a big scratch on his side. from the crash… or?

mulder is fake pouting. “you never draw my bath” JCHDJSBJSND

she’s freaked out because she knows that cut was NOT there before. OH? is it the jesus spear thing??

she is busting out her theological training- he could be in two places at once, like st. ignatius! and mulder is talking about how it was all a metaphor, that bible. mulder, if you are dismissive ONE more time...

OH, I GASPED AT THIS NEXT PART. HOLD ON I NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN:

“how is it that you’re able to go out on a limb whenever you see a light in the sky, but you’re unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle, even when it’s right in front of you?”

“i wait for a miracle every day, but what i’ve seen here has only tested my patience, not my faith”

“well, what about what i’ve seen?” 

UGH. how PERFECT is that dialogue!!! how brilliant is that exchange!!! why is what she has seen less believable than his x files and aliens and beasts? he spends so long looking to his own stars that he’s forgotten others can form constellations as well. and how often does the narrative favor him, his thoughts running like a prey animal, chasing and chasing any sort of lead. why can’t she have something that cuts her to the quick just as deeply?

sure, science is great, science is the building block of her reality. but you can’t change the way you grew up, either, the pattern recognition, the fear of the divine. and she’s never had trouble balancing the two, we just haven’t had a reason to see them interact before, because she generally compartmentalizes the day to day world and the spiritual- and how many of us can say we do the same? probably most, if we believe in anything at all. but then it comes straight to a head- and after she has been through so much as well, losing her dad, her kidnapping, her coma, losing mulder and her job (which luckily came back), losing her sister forever- is it selfish to want there to be a caring force out in the universe?

but on the flip side, that means that there is real and genuine evil, forces of the devil and hell- unless you think it’s poetry, like mulder does. but wouldn’t that explain all the suffering she’s been through? the horrific things this job has showed her? and wouldn’t it be worth it in the end to go through that all if you know it was to be defeated?

okay i just spend so long typing that up the screen went dark. SORRY SORRY I’M COMING BACK I PROMISE!!! I JUST GET EMOTIONAL.

NOOO! a weird noise was heard, so mulder kicks down the now locked door where kevin was supposed to be taking a bath. AND THE WINDOW WAS MELTED OPEN!! so scully basically comes face to face with the evil that must be real if miracles are as well. oh! i’m eating this up.

but she promised him he would be safe! so this is not looking good!

she wants to go talk to his father again. and mulder doesn’t want to, but she is NOT taking no for an answer. 

kevin’s father is not coming up with an answer. the doctors have increased his meds and he’s very foggy. 

she asks again about the full circle to find the truth thing. and she runs out, in a daze.

mulder gets a call that there has been a simon spotting, but she doesn’t hear; she’s pointing at a recycling bin, saying that it’s arrows that form a circle. she thinks he’s at a recycling plant; he thinks he’s at the airport.

mulder asks if she thinks she’s the one that was chosen to protect him. and she says she doesn’t know; her voice cracks as she says that if she’s wrong, she’ll meet him at the airport. OH! religious burdens, the divine pressure of fate. he watches her leave, looking troubled.

at the recycling plant- and simon IS there, saying kevin has to die, for everyone, so the new age will come. and his hands are bleeding again. all the others were false.

SCULLY AMBUSH!!! but simon is taking him into a recycling chopper. AND HE DROPS HIM IN!!! we see chopping occur!!! but it was SIMON AND NOT KEVIN THAT WAS CHOPPED!!! kevin caught himself on the ledge!!!! she pulls him up.

he says he knew she’d come, and they hug so so so tight, and she places a kiss on his head when she’s holding him, and i’m gonna cry like a baby

when they’re getting him around to leave, she says that maybe she’ll see him again sometime, and he says that she will.

and scully looks like she’s crying- i don’t think she is, but she puts her head in her hand- mulder comes in and asks if she’s okay. she says she thinks so, and he holds out her jacket to put on. it might have been the most tender thing i have ever seen. he says they need to go make a statement; she asks him to do it alone, she has to go run an errand.

again, she mostly avoids his eyes. but he agrees, and goes to make the statement alone. he doesn't press.

AND SHE GOES TO CONFESSION???? FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 6 YEARS??? she starts talking about not being able to discuss something with mulder. she asks about miracles; if she was seeing things when it comes to saving kevin, or if she was imagining them. 

she doubts herself because mulder didn’t believe them!!!!!!!!!!! and usually he believes without question!!!

maybe they weren’t meant for him, maybe they were meant for YOU, he says. and she asks if this was to bring her back; he says “sometimes we must come full circle to find the truth”

and it makes her afraid!!!! that god is speaking but no one is listening!!!!

WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS EPISODE. NO. NO, HOLD ON I’M GONNA LOOK THIS UP. 

KIM NEWTON. KIM. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS ME ON THIS PLANET. NO ONE ELSE DOES.

wow okay. i’m going to be pacing my room about this for 100 years. there are going to be think pieces about this, from me, for the foreseeable future. i’m losing my MIND.

i don’t think i could have cooked up a more perfect episode if i had tried. something centered on scully entirely (mulder has had his fair share of attention), something about faith, something where she questions what she holds close and why she holds it close and what it means that she does so at all. what it means for there to be human good and human evil and divine good and divine evil. how god speaks to people and how we listen. or hear things that he didn’t say, like simon did. 

holy FUCK i literally could not think of anything better. and i have SO much to say. i already SAID SO MUCH, too. like i’m seriously bouncing off the walls right now. whatever love i had for scully before just quadrupled- and who knew this was even possible??

for things to be reversed, for mulder to try and talk her out of a belief, how bizarre that must have felt to him, and how cold it felt. how he just couldn’t see it, how his not being able to see it drove her to doubt herself, how she must doubt herself already, but that sprung everything to the surface. how she doubts that god would use her. and use her for good. 

but still, despite his lack of understanding, despite his trying to get her to think rationally- he is there for her, even if he doesn't get it, even if he could have done better. the way he held her jacket while she processed everything, the way he didn't question her needing time for herself. somethings are best left unspoken.

lord, i’m gonna have to stop there because if i don’t. i just might never shut up ever ever ever. and i still need to proofread all my raw notes, and i’m sure i’ll think of something else to say.

i started this episode AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO LMAOOOO i just had SO much to pause and observe and say which is NOT a complaint in the slightest. 

wow. new fave episode i think. i’ll have to add it to the list. 

please let me know what you thought- are there any other scully truthers out there who lost their minds over this? did you like the episode? is it disliked and i'm strange for going on such a ramble? did you have trouble reconciling faith scully and science scully? personally i don't, but i could see how some people might. did you find mulder too dismissive? or did you think he was trying his best? some combination of both? did scully protecting that kid make you emotional? please, spill EVERYTHING. i always want you to spill everything, but now so even more than usual.

[kyouka-supremacy]

Thoughts on akutagawa being drawn with no highlights in his eyes, hair, coat, or on rashomon,,,like everything is drawn pure black? I like when he's drawn a little bit like not-human--contrasts real well with Atsushi's dilemma of being a tiger, personally thinking. Also like when he's drawn like a void. Little bit like the cryptid creachur he is. I think you wrote something about it in the tags on panels in his introduction in the Manga. I like to think other characters also see him the way we see him so his void ass scares the fuck out of others too. Man's skeevin and tweakin even in his design

I'm OBSESSED with Akutagawa's design. Look at him. This is what he looks like on a white background:

And this is what he looks like on a black background:

It's BRILLIANT. He literally disappears in the black. He's the ultimate monster. In his appearance, he embodies what above all is most scary for the human psyche: the darkness, the unknown. The way Harukawa took advantage of the the art rule of never using pure black by breaking it in the most clever way! No light gets reflected on him, because his form absorbs everything– is absolute darkness. Visually, his figure itself is Rashomon eating everything it encounters, and it's genius.

He is so nightmare coded. I love his big, inscrutable eyes that look like two voids, two black holes. I love how oftentimes you can't tell where Rashomon ends and where he starts, I love how sick and unhealthy he looks. I love how he looks scruffy like an abandoned dog. I love how young he looks– way younger than he is. It gives the impression of a ghost, someone who was killed before growing up and is now stuck with his young appearance no matter how many centuries pass.

I adore everything about these chapter 33 pages. The way he initially appears as just a single black shape, hardly resembling a human. His crunched, unnatural stance. The staggering. The way you can feel with your senses the thick and sticky blood. The top picture is the left page of the manga, so just imagine the visual impact of turning the page to be hit with an almost full-black page- it's meant to impress, it's meant to shake. The way he's one with the darkness: no textures on him, only white making out his outlines. The way you can't tell where his coat ends. His left arm hanging numb, limp, lifeless, inhuman. The spurts of blood on his face. His smile, how you won't notice it at first and how that makes it all the more disquieting; its juxtaposition with the violence that surrounds him and that he is the cause of. The way he covers his face, the impressions of hiding and looming. His face being split, which only adds to the horror elements. Akutagawa's character design as a whole is an ode to the gothic and grotesque.

And then this. Hello??????????????? The progression from how Akutagawa used to be to the last time we saw him alive is astonishing. It's upsetting. It really makes me wanna cry from a technical execution standpoint alone (imagine from a plot related standpoint). All the black is now replaced with predominant white, everywhere. His shirt is white and candid and pure, emphasizing contrast with the splash of blood in a way that almost results sickening. The blood on him is his this time. His face looks rounder, and healthier, and he overall looks more mature. His smile is sincere and genuine, it's light, it's affectionate. This scene is the culmination of Akutagawa's character both visually and thematically: the monster, Akutagawa, too, can be good, and arguably had good within him since the very start. Does it really matter if he lives after this? His character already developed to be the best version of himself‚ and this panel here is the proof.

Further readings: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

[benevolenterrancy]

Do any NieYao (or general 3zun) shippers follow me? I've been tossing around the idea of a nieyao fic but I'm getting tripped up by timeline shit because good lord JGY's life is a nightmare... is there anyone who wouldn't mind either:

a) chatting with me about timeline/canon stuff to help me get sorted

b) sending me recs of their favourite nieyao fics 👀 for, uh, strictly research related purposes for sure for sure

[soft--dogs]

ouuhghghghghhhhhhh the

[lit-in-thy-heart]

been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.

[craneboys]

sharing my extremely chaotic study of this man cause what is this