#believe it or not im really not that good with words its why i draw instead lol

[storytellering]

You ignore some asks?

Not generally! (unless it's just pointless hate/an anti yapping, in which case sometimes I answer for a quick dunk if it's stupid enough to be funny, but most of the time I prefer to not glorify that kind of message with an answer and just block the anon/account.) If it seems like I'm not answering an ask, I either didn't get it, or I couldn't formulate an answer right away/needed some time to think on what to say, and thus am saving it for when I'm gonna be able to answer properly!

[b4kuch1n]

thank you so much for sharing your process/lineart/and just in general. i've been watching your vods on youtube and it's rlly inspiring and satisfying to watch...godspeed!

it's no problem at all! and I'm very glad you enjoy the VODs haha, they're really the best way to see how I go about anything! including the pixel-pushing and repeatedly redrawing the same line lol

[snekdood]

i honestly deserved none of the shit ppl did to me that lead me to this point

[newvegascowboy]

Thank you all so much for the kind words! I appreciate it a lot!

july 5th, 2021 vs july 24th, 2023

bit of an Artist Evolution, but also character evolution. two years of drawing Red! the roots are the same, even if the details have changed.

2 years ago, i was extremely new to digital art and was kind of fumbling my way through photoshop, trying to figure things out as i went. that didnt exactly change, i just got a lot better at fumbling.

then i lost photoshop, had a meltdown, and got CSP. lather, rinse, repeat.

im getting more comfortable working outside my comfort zone. or i guess, expanding that comfort zone. there's still a lot i dont like about my art - and a lot i feel i need to improve on, but i think im getting there, however slowly. im learning and figuring things out, though that never really stops. i look forward to seeing where im at in another two years.

thanks yall for sticking around!

[cherryzlem]

My talk on the TikTok-ification of ‘I have no mouth and i must scream’

I personally have discovered ihnmaims recently and through TikTok but honestly, from what i've seen so far, the Tumblr community is way more welcoming than the TikTok community. I believe the ones i call ‘hardcore fans’ or 'gatekeepers' will try all they can to belittle the people who discovered the book/game through TikTok, like any hardcore fan does for their community when it gets famous on TikTok.

TikTok is very helpful to share media on and i have discovered many fandoms through it. But some people are so against ‘TikTok-ification’ that they can’t stand when people find medias through this platform.

When i see some people (again, mostly solely on TikTok) tell AM fans ‘ermm but you know he SA’d Helen ☝️🤓’ i cant help but think ‘yes ?? And he also committed genocide on humanity, keeps torturing the same 5 people over and over again and im very, VERY sure he did use a lot of not really nice kinds of tortures on them, but you draw the line at SA ??’

Like, AM is a horrible being of course, all of these are horrible actions but if someone, like me, likes AM its not gonna be because they think they’re a good ‘person’ (for lack of a better word), WE KNOW AM is bad, of course we do, HE’S THE BAD GUY OF THE STORY and he’s the kind of bad guy who cannot be redeemed but COME ON, WE KNOW THAT.

I love AM for his writing, for how well thought he is as a character, i do not love him for his actions. And i know some 'new gen fans' will pretend AM is not 'that bad' but you shouldn't just assume every fan who comes from TikTok is going to think like that.

Another thing i’ve seen people hate on are AM’s humanisations/personnifications fanarts when posted on TikTok. I know for a fact that these existed for a long long time on other platforms such as Tumblr but the arguments the haters pull out is that ‘errr AM hates humanity, i doubt he’d want to be human ☝️🤓’ but do you even know WHY he hates humanity ?? Have you read the book ???

The reason AM hates humanity is because he wasn’t able to express the creativity he was given by humans, he didn’t just wake up one day and decided to hate humans ?? If anything, giving AM a more humanized/personified image would be something he would want more than anything. If AM had been able to BE like a human none of the shit he did would have happened.

The only ‘argument’ im willing to listen to is when some people say that the whole point of AM’s character is that he isn’t human. But then again, are you against fun ?? In literally EVERY fandom with non-human characters artists will give them humanized designs, even if just for AU’s (take ‘The stanley parable’ for exemple), it’s not because the story is old and is an horror story that people cannot have fun with it. It’s not because it’s a deep story with meaning that people can’t do what they want with it. That is what creativity is for.

And my final point is addressing the people who hate on AM's simps. My gosh, these people have not seen the dawn of the internet if they think its weird to simp for AM.

People simp for Glados, The Narrator from tsp, horror movies murderers and more, and you're telling me that AM is the worst simping choice you could make ?? Let people have fun, let people have weird taste in fictional crushes. In other words:

Stop being allergic to fun, ffs

[purpleph4se]

shades of cool

sigma | siebren de kuiper x reader

warnings | smut, fem/afab! reader, soft dom! sigma, oral (fem), creampie, praise kink, very very self indulgent sorry

a/n | i fucking hate tumblr why did i struggle so much to make this fucking post. this is a cry for help. tumblr fix your fucking app. but um yeah this. i go from nothing for months to smut of an old man i know. i’ve been fixated on ow for months and um i really really like sigma oops. so my brilliant idea was to sexualize him like it’s my full time job. to anyone reads this (im expecting not that many ppl) i hope u enjoy it <3 crossposted on my ao3

translations | mooi - beautiful, heerlijk - gorgeous, sterrenlicht - starlight, schatje - sweetheart , mijn liefje - my love, je bent te goed voor mij, mijn lieve meid - you’re too good for me sweet girl

—

“can i kiss you?”

you asked, and he tilted his head as if he believed that he had misheard you. no, you’re leaning in now, and oh, your skin is so soft against his own, gentle and yet somehow firm. you…actually wanted him. “siebren?” you murmured against his slightly parted mouth, snapping him out of his daze.

 

“yes,” he responded breathlessly.

 

you slowly touched your lips to his, gingerly and invitingly, daring him to deepen the kiss himself. and when he did, you couldn’t help but sigh with relief.

he’s going slow, but with such careful precision that the movement of his lips has you under some kind of spell. the warmth and wetness of his tongue flicks delicately across your lip. you didn’t expect him to be so…romantic. had he been waiting for this moment?

his hand comes to the side of your neck, “you are so, so beautiful…” again, he’s kissing you, speaking heated affirmations into your lips, “...so perfect…” those same, unbearably tender kisses begin to travel, moving to your cheek, peppering over towards your neck just below your ear.

his hand falls lower, allowing the roughness of his palm to slide down your arm, then to your waist, stopping to press his thumb into the smooth skin at the hem of your dress. the squeeze of it causes the most abrupt squeak to peep out of you, and in response, siebren chuckles into your neck. he kisses you there again and again, his body pressing you harder into the counter behind you as he moves in as close as he can possibly be.

he kisses you while his warm, heavy hands continue to wander. they seem to travel aimlessly, crisscrossing your back and inching higher, climbing your sides until his blunt nails ghost over your ribcage, dragging along your dress.

goosebumps start to peak there, following his fingertips when they sink into your stomach, cupping just below your tits.  you breathe his name cautiously, as if saying it too loud might wake you from this daydream. two calloused thumbs swipe along the curve of your breasts, just beneath the swell of them, and meet at your sternum, sinking into the flesh of it when he closes his mouth on yours again. 

you melt like putty in siebren’s weathered hands, easing further into his touch and allowing him to turn you around with the soft utterance of your name. his mouth draws nearer to yours, strung together with sweet saliva that clings to your tongues. 

suddenly, he’s letting go, bringing that same hand back to your face. siebren pulls you into another, deep kiss. with every timid movement of your own, his lips press into yours harder. you can hear the heaviness of his breaths as, in between kisses, he’s mumbling inaudible words “mooi” and “heerlijk” and “sterrenlicht" none of it registering.

he mumbles something against your lips with a smile as his hands drift away from your face, skirting over the thin fabric of your sundress and squeezing just beneath the curve of your ass, only to scoop you up and lift you onto the countertop with a grunt, leaving your mouth to its own devices.

your thighs, warm and trembling, splaying across the cool granite surface and instinctively parting to accommodate his size as he guides your legs into place. his fingertips hook into the soft spot behind your knees, bringing them to settle on either side of his waist as you wrap your legs around him. 

arching further into him while your vision begins to blur, you whimper, feeling lightheaded as your body chases his form, squirming and wedged between the weight of his hips and the countertop. 

you allow your head to tip back, baring your throat to him as you trail your fingers up the column of his neck. your nails card through the surprisingly soft hair that falls around the nape of his neck, lightly scratching his scalp, following him as he dips to mouth at your collarbone.

somewhere in the suffocating space between you, siebren’s hands creep beneath your dress, bunching the material at the top of your hips while deft fingers creep into the space between your thighs.

his breath kisses the crook of your neck, warm and sticky, while a heavy, husky question rolls off of his tongue, tumbling onto the salty skin below his mouth.

“do you want me to stop?”

an unintelligible whimper claws its way out of your throat, embarrassingly pitiful. 

you can’t let him go.

rough fingertips trace feather-light circles onto smooth flesh, pinching at the soft fat that sits at the tops of your thighs with a mellow hum and a quiet, disapproving tsk-tsk.

“say it for me.”

warm breath ghosts over your skin, tickling your neck while siebren’s lips graze the tender skin that lies just beneath your earlobe. his teeth scrape that sensitive spot deliberately as his hands climb higher, stretching until his thumbs meet, hovering mere centimeters away from the heat between your legs.

“i need to hear you, schatje...”

you stammer indistinctly, pawing at the back of his neck while your eyes train towards the ceiling. you felt dizzy.

siebren’s teeth scrape your skin, they sink into the curve of your throat. broad, practiced thumbs cross one another and press into your panties, stroking down the cloaked hood of your clit, rolling over the bud through thin, sticky cotton. your body jumps, chasing that feeling, and goosebumps rise on your skin as he begins to pull away.

“wait! i-i want it,” you plead, forcing yourself into his hands with a strained whine. “please, d-don’t stop!”

his lips curl against your neck, in a sly, subtle grin over the impression he has made, slick with his spit and marred by the circle of shallow, tooth-shaped indentations in your skin.

“you’re so precious when you beg.”

lodged between your thighs while he gently urges you to lift your sundress higher, bunching it up around your hips “we certainly don’t want to ruin such a pretty thing, do we?”

siebren crouches in front of the counter, thumbing at your swollen clit intently, inching his way down your body and littering insistent kisses there in his wake. he makes his way towards the floor, stooping until he is eye-level with your sheer, soaked panties, cupped so nicely in his large hands.

he’s barely touched you and you’re already seeing stars, with your cheeks flaming, you clutch at the cold, stony countertop, kneading your lower lip between your teeth while your nails clatter towards the edge, grasping for some sort of stability as your body chases him.

broad, heavy shoulders rise and fall, pitching with each reverent breath stolen between your legs, and siebren takes two fingers to your puffy mound, watching the flimsy cotton barrier cave under each swipe of his fingertips, smearing warmth along the damp material that clings to your folds. 

his tongue flickers past his teeth, flitting over his parted lips as he stares, entranced by the responsive throb of your cunt when he swipes at the wetness, visible through your sheer panties.

“fascinating.”

heat emanates from his body, pouring off of his face and his palms, and he noses closer, mere inches away from the wet, sticky cotton. 

“let’s take these off,” he huffs against damp, warm skin, breathing in the scent of your arousal shamelessly. “they’d just get in the way.” he let out a small chuckle. dork.

you brace yourself against the cabinet behind your back gently, lifting yourself while his fingers curl into the flimsy panties. siebren peels them off, agonizingly slow, dragging the skimpy, sodden article down your thighs and off of your feet, pausing to press gentle kisses along your damp skin. he takes his time, memorizing the shape of your body and savoring your scent before the warmth of his breath ghosts your pussy again.

siebren takes his time to savor the experience, trailing a lone fingertip through the slick mess, collecting it on the pads of his fingers and pulling away. one finger swipes up against you, nudging it aside and marveling at the easy gush of your cunt when he runs a cruel thumb along your clit.

“so sensitive.”

he hushes the whine that reverberates in your lungs. god he could smell your arousal. that was nearly enough to make him cum all over himself like he was an inexperienced young man again. he shifted–painfully hard between his legs.

“tell me...tell me how it feels.”

the thought of him watching your face, watching you unravel so easily under is a little more than humiliating. your grip on the counter speaks for you, straining knuckles beginning to ache while you hold onto the edge. your head feels full of cotton, you can’t even form a sentence.

all you can do is return his unwavering gaze with your mouth ajar, lip quivering, watching helplessly as he sinks a rough finger into your cunt, drenching it to the hilt in seconds. your face burns at the sight, having watched your pussy swallow a thick digit so quickly.

siebren pushes you further, swiping away at your clit, edging a second finger in beside the first. you let out a pathetic whimper. and cave, sighing, “s’ good—feels so good mmh-!” and then, his hands pull away and land on your thighs, kneading soft flesh as he drags you towards the edge of the counter, closer and closer, until his face is sandwiched between your legs.

in a moment of sheer weakness, you make the mistake of looking down, sealing your own fate in a single glance. 

you meet his gorgeous periwinkle eyes while he pushes your thighs apart before hoisting them over his head, forcing you to accommodate broad shoulders as they settle into the soft curve of your calves.

as siebren bows his head, he plants a tender kiss on top of the soft mound between his hands, and breathes your name like a prayer.

his breath comes out in measured puffs, sucked in and fleshed out in utter restraint and a hot, heavy tongue trails up your cunt, pressing flat against your clit and dragging higher until its wet, rounded tip nudges the sweet little bundle of nerves between your legs.

your hands tangling into his silver hair. your nails track over his scalp, pulling him in and encouraging him while you writhe, hips hoisting off of the counter to chase his mouth as he sucks at your cunt. his name is the only word on your lips.

you peek down again, watching siebrens elegant nose bump against your clit, the sight was overwhelming. siebren makes a deep rumble of a noise. with his free hand he presses two digits up to your slick, awaiting entrance. You feel the roll of soft vibrations coursing through your core as he moans again.

 

siebren sucks at your pussy, lapping at the juices dripping down his chin, slick with his own drool as the tip of his tongue delves into soft, spongy flesh. 

he’s hooked on the taste of your skin, drunk on it, eyes glazed over and lashes feathering his view as he peers up at you between your thighs. the noises he makes are downright obscene, contributing to the flare of heat in your cheeks. his fingers scissor and curl along your walls, dragging against the spot that leaves your cunt drooling into his hand. 

“siebren,” you gasp, “i w-want—want you inside me…”

he hums inquisitively. you’re slurring a little, the words coming out jumbled, “please—fuck me-“

his tongue slips between his fingers, spreading the sticky walls of your cunt open, breathing, “such language…” it takes a single whine, a pathetic “please” to hoist him off his knees, stumbling up to cup your jaw in one hand, his mouth pressed to your throat, teeth grazing your ear while his other hand plays with your clit, thumbing it while steady fingers plunge deeper into your cunt.

“you want me to fuck your sweet little cunt, don’t you?”

his utterly filthy words caused a whimper bubble up from your throat. your hands begin to tremble once more, clutching to his shirt’s collar, eagerly nodding into the crook of his neck.

“i’ll take care of you, mijn liefje.”

the fingers filling you up slip out, soaked and slick. the cool and empty feeling aches, but the sound of a zipper and the rustling of fabric makes your head rush, dizzy with anticipation. you don’t dare to look, holding your breath as the swollen, silky head grazes your entrance. he guides it over your clit, rutting into the mess the two of you made gently, collecting spit and slick and precum on the tip of his cock.

it feels big, warm and round and thicker than his fingers - you don’t know whether to be thrilled or terrified, but you drag him in all the same, urging him on by winding your legs around his waist and pulling his hips closer. “you’re sure,” he breathes, “sure you want this?”

one nod, and he’s gone, angling the head of his cock against your drooling cunt, nudging at puffy lips and spreading them apart.

your fingers curl at his collar, knuckles locking while you stifle a squeal, feeling him sink into you. “i’m so sorry, i know, i know—“ his voice sounds strained, “you’re just so—tight... ”

siebren lets you set the pace, easing up and telling you to take it slow. you know he’s watching his cock disappear in to your cunt. you let go of his collar, seizing his face and hauling his mouth towards yours. you kiss him, deeply and desperately for a sweet distraction, lips colliding and stealing you away from the dull pain swelling in the pit of your stomach as his cock forces its way into your gummy, giving walls. 

siebren slides in painstakingly slow, catching your lower lip between his teeth and tugging it gently as his cockhead breaches another inch of your cunt, wracking your body with a feeble sob.

“that’s it…”

a soft groan rolls off of his tongue, dripping onto yours as he bottoms out, extending his finger to flick at your clit, swollen and soaked with saliva. 

“good girl,” he breathes, mouth leaving yours, entwined by the threads of drool between your lips. “you take me so well, liefje.”

his hands slip down your body, fingers grazing sensitive skin and curling around your thighs, lifting them higher on his waist and cooing out a soft reminder, “breathe.”

a beat passes, then two; he whispers your name, and his hands climb towards your waist, fingertips dancing over your ribs idly as he peers down at the place where the two of you meet, watching your cunt swallow the hilt of his cock and push back on it.

you focus on the rise and fall of your chest for a moment, your eyes slip shut, allowing your body to adjust to this strange new fullness. siebren dips his head into the crook of your neck, cooing praises and kissing them into your skin, thumbing circles into your skin.

your voice trembles, and your fists curl as you mewl, “hah—p-please, move…” a subtle smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, grazing your clavicle, and he nods, rocking his hips shallowly. his strokes are slow and measured, meticulously matching your breaths, setting a rhythm.  then, he breaks it. your voice shatters his name as he bottoms out in a single, brutal thrust that makes you see stars. then, quickly, another. and another. soon, he falls into a gradual flow.

each rock of his hips, every pump of his cock that meets with your core sends pathetic noises flowing from your lips. even he, despite his desperate attempts to keep his composure, can’t help the broken, almost whiny, sounds that escape from his throat.

his head darts down, capturing you a sloppy kiss. and you return every single one, lapping at his tongue with your own, drinking him in. you’re overwhelmed, crying tears of pleasure from the hard, now quickening thrusts of his length. your walls clench around him tighter, engulfing him even deeper. he’s whimpering, a shy, needy little noise. his fingers reach to toy at your clit, playing generously with the bud. you cry out, mouth falling open in an unintelligible sob. 

 

your nails dig into his neck, no doubt leaving noticeable marks. “so good, je bent te goed voor mij, mijn lieve meid” you're too lost in the to even try to understand. your squeals had now morphed fully into wanton moans and little pathetic cries, hitching and catching in rhythm to his pace. likewise siebrens grunts and groans are ripped from his chest, bubbling up only to escape when he glanced down at his cock pumping hard into your opening.

your toes curl, and you feel like you’re choking on air, smothered by his hands. you drown in him, in his cologne, his sweat, and his thunderous voice.

“such a-ah—sweet girl,” he murmurs, sinking into your tight little hole and drinking in your pathetic, disheveled state with a careful glance. “such a good girl for me…” your cunt drools, stretching and squeezing, groping his cock greedily and gushing when he splits you open again and again.

“s-siebren ! mmn-m-! please m-m’gonna cum,” your orgasm coils deep in your tummy, tight and white-hot, you sob into his neck, eyes glazing over as siebren’s hips collide with yours. you wail his name as he slams into the spot inside of you that sends you spiraling into nothingness and everything at once. 

“cum for me, sweet girl—” and you do, clenching around his cock and squeezing, back arching and hips rolling clumsily as you shove him impossibly deeper, trapping him with your calves and pulling him close.

drunk on his cock, in the haze of your orgasm, you manage to beg, “siebren-! pl-please cum inside me!”

siebren groans in response. his thrusts were beginning to stagger now, your wet warmth was too much, and he soon picked up the pace to a bruising speed. your moans became breathless, his thrusts almost knocking the very air out of your lungs from sheer need. tears stream down your cheeks with every overwhelming sensation, spikes of pleasure leaving you intoxicated.

giving a few hash, stuttering pumps to your aching core, siebren came with a broken moan into your exposed neck. bottoming out as his pulsating length spasmed and throbbed. bucking his hips desperately to coax out every drop of his seed—the amount causing sticky strings of cum to leak out of your still throbbing pussy. he clings to you, huffing, and presses an appreciative, wet kiss to the crook of your neck.

he’s thanking you. your limp, tuckered-out arms wind around his neck lazily, pulling his face into your chest and tangling your fingers into silky salt-and-pepper hair, lightly scratching at his scalp. you thank him quietly in return.

[wilted3sunflowers]

This is my Miku pokemon trainer tier list

For this tier list its both my favorites and what i consider a very good miku design

Of course all of them are good miku designs but some shine above the rest

S tier- my absolute favorites Bug miku is so classy, so well thought out, and i think the brown looks amazing with her teal. Shes everything A close tie with bug miku is Ice miku her hair is everything to me im in complete love with this sharp miku. Water Miku is basic but that's all she needs in lovely simplicity, truly feeling like Miku in this world as a water trainer especially with her tan lines from her original outfit it feels like this is her off time from being an idol! Steel Miku had my heart as soon as I saw her with Jirachi. Which was my favorite pokemon when I was a child [it was prior before i even had any pokemon games of my own and only watched the movies] The colors, the motif of star, the hat and the hair its all wonderful to me!

A tier- Amazingly done concepts and totally miku! Rock Miku's dress and veil is lovely, i love they incorporated the veil as mock pigtails. If this was the verison of her without the dress then she would have been in S tier. I love the jester look but thats my own personal preference. She also reminds me of diance with the dress.

Flying Miku is gorgeous, the wispy hair, the translucent areas to mimic clouds and mist. It's an amazing concept and wonderfully executed design! Fairy miku i know is everyones favorite and it's obvious to see why, shes adorable and cute and I too would love to draw her. She has that appeal to her down to a T. Fighting Miku is something i've been waiting for this whole time. Of course no way they could do a pokemon collab with miku and not include farfetch'd! It's a sleek and simple design that takes traits of the original miku's outfit and tweaks them. Though she does kind of remind me of maka from soul eater just a small bit.

B tier- Great concepts! Electric Miku's lightening pigtails are so cute she looks like a little adventure/farmer of currents. She stands on her own as a design and as a tie to miku. Poison type Miku i would have done the same doing mucky/slime twintails though i probably wouldn't have thought to use the new alolan muk which is a very good look and helps add in the colors. It's a great design and while i wouldve put her in A tier some of her design elements hold me off. This is a top tier character design though trust me Dark Miku, i love she came with obstagoon. Though at first i couldnt even tell if miku had pigtails in the artwork. This reminds me just of a nice miku for a cover of an existing song which is not bad it's just how it feels. Normal type miku has good colors, shes paired with an active singing pokemon and while it's simple I think it conveys miku well enough. Though she keeps reminding me of the oversaturated stereotype of early 90s fashion. now on Ghost miku, shes higher than i'd actually put her but for her concept and simplicity of staying to miku but as a glitched out ghost version of her i do have to give props to that even if i find it more on the plain side. I think they succeeded in what was necessary even though this portrays miku AS the ghost instead of just a ghost trainer. ....honestly now that i type my words i feel like i was right and shouldve stuck with her in C tier.

C tier- too basic for my tastes yet still well done Grass miku is cute and all but if you told me she was unrelated to miku, i could believe you. Just that it'd be a fandom joke to call her 'green miku'

Fire miku, reminds me all too much of the anniversary miku song and im sure thats where they got part of the insipration from it but it doesnt really do much for me combined with the fire aspect and how her hair is shaped. I know its to mimic the pokemon shes with its just personal taste on that one. The silhoutte is good.

Ground type miku i had to keep looking up because i forget what shes supposed to be numerous times. Same case with grass miku, i could see someone telling me shes from x thing and unrelated to miku. I'm just not a fan of the design and colors but it's well done. I know when something is just my subjective taste rather than poorly done.

Dragon miku while i'm not the biggest fan of all the cowlicks going down the twintails i know it's purpose is there to mimic the spiked tail of a traditional dragon and i wouldn't want them removed. I think i especially just don't like the tacked on half shawl cape it feels disjointed. Yet i find its a nice concept they did both an almost knight look for her as dragon as always with the concept of knights and dragons battling. Now the knight trainer is battling with the dragon as comrades.

Psychic type miku- i think they started with the least interesting and noteworthy one honestly. It just looks, kind of uninspired but thats rude to say. I know shes here to fufill the concept of miku as a trainer in pokemon and well it just looks like she's her own trainer class that'd have multiple running around looking the same instead of a stand out like a rival or a gym leader in game.

[ganondoodle]

since seeing a post from a mutual yesterday i was thinking about how grateful i am that i can now, confidently say something like -im taking demise away from nintendo- or -hes MY character now- while knowing that the people following me will understand that thats not actually possible and also i dont mean that literally literally (duh)

bc (while i have mentioned it in the past and im not trying to fish for sympathy with this, the memories ... and trauma really does come back every now and then) there were people once that imagined i said that about a popular character in the fandom i was in when i was a teen and proceeded to try (and nearly succeeding bc i was already struggeling alot with depression, anxiety and undiagnosed autism) to bully me into killing myself; perhaps it wasnt their actual goal, but the shit they did (alot of them were adults too), was absolutely insane, but i've only been able to see that wayyyy after the fact

like even if im remembering wrong and i did word it wrong or weird or in a way that was easily misunderstood, i was a teen, with english not as my first language and it still was some fandom shit that ultimately did not matter and never in any scenario warrented that level of harrassment, i dont even think i ever told my parents bc i thought i had to deal with it alone since i 'caused' it too and since then just ... wanting to forget it ever happened

while i am much, much better now, and slowly learning to manage my mental health struggles too, i do wonder just .. how much of how i am today was shaped by that horrible experience, like the way i overly try to pre-apologize and put doubts on every thought i write out, or the panic i feel when something does go outside my usual range (mostly twitter really ..) was immensely worsened by that .. among stuff i probably dont even realize

funnily enough, i made my account on tumblr to try and flee from all that was happening to me (even if they did stalk me at first .. even here) and hey, im still here :D

i guess what im trying to say is, i am very happy to still be here, i am grateful to be able to be myself, even with its downsides, even with my problems, even if the things i do are passable at best, even if i will never "make it big", even if i am annoying at times, even if i do mistakes still, even if i am .... horribly bad at replying to the awesome people that message me-

there are, at least a few people, who enjoy, or even care, or heck, even think about what i draw and write, which is .. still mind boggling to me and i might never be able to truly believe its all real, there are people who are able to see beyond my flaws, forgive me if i do missstep or overreact, and just be aware that even with everything i share about me, there is lots you dont know that may inform why i feel a certain way about something, but thats okay, i am human, i am here, there are people who enjoy my brainworms, and perhaps even think i, as a person, am nice

i am so grateful for that

some things are good

[larks-birdhouse]

GENLOSS FOUNDERS CUT THOUGHTS

i want to make it so so clear i don’t want to dunk on genloss. this is my braindump and i LOVED genloss. please support young creators as they grow and improve i beg of thee

im putting this under a cut because i expect it to be long 😭

❤️ - negative

💚 - positive

💙 - neutral

💚 once again reminded how much ranboo’s acting has improved since dsmp <3

💚 AND a fantastic reminder of how great the other actors are!!!! all the deaths still hurt and the security officers did SO SO GOOD

💚 i love that hetch is more evil now. hurts even more watching hetch manipulate ran even harder up to his death

💚 ranboo has survivor’s guilt :’[ god him slowly accepting it was his fault (even though it WASNT) broke me

💚❤️ i think redubbing certain parts makes sense, but for some reason it was just really obvious during niki’s intro?? it felt so jarring

💙 ngl i paused the premiere to catch the qr code. in my defence i was about half an hour behind already :’]

❤️ GOD i wish we saw more of the carousel folks. so much time spent on setting up mousetrap, so little on them. is that in of itself a commentary? genuine question i do not know

❤️ also i am so sad we didn’t see more of austin’s “hey what the fuck is happening.” there was plenty of it but i want MORE

❤️💙 and i wish there was a little more time on ethan’s fashion show simply because it is funny

💚 the play on words with austin being the straight man is still fantastic

💚 someone else pointed this out (i’m not sure who i saw it from first but i’ll find them) but hetch near exclusively calling ranboo “hero” is such a good detail. not their name, but their character

💙 i forgot about the charlie stream! but honestly i would fully believe that is something charlie would just Do

❤️ I WANT MORE SNEEGGGGGG WHERE WAS HE

💚 the ART!! the DESIGNS of the devices!! adds so much to the story and i’m so glad they were shared. such fantastic art too!!

❤️ the create-a-creature kinda came out of nowhere, i was so confused and i wish there was a bit more buildup

💙 about hetch saying they aren’t themselves anymore: how many times can the actors get tortured and brainwashed before they stop being themselves? how much of them can be taken and replaced before it stops being them? (theseus’s ranboo)

💚 I LOVED THE SQUIGGLES ANIMATIONS!!!! SO GOOD I NEED TO FIND MORE OF THE CREATOR’S WORK

❤️ i might have missed it so correct me if i’m wrong but i don’t think we had the wide shot of the hero-kill-inator or whatever and i WISH we did because it goes so hard

💚 in terms of ending changes, i loved both endings!! both so good for different reasons, and the “thank you” KILLS ME IM SO SORRY BOO I HOPE YOU CAN JOIN YOUR FRIENDS IN THE CANON AFTERLIFE

💙 actually only hell is canon. maybe heaven just Doesn’t Exist. only suffering

💚❤️ at some points i thought the gore was great and at some points i wanted MORE. all the blood seeping out from under the doors, the room they haven’t “reset” yet, the guts instead of food were all great. but i wanted more of surgery charlie’s suffering to contrast the absurdity and just generally more carnage

❤️ i also wish there was more audio gore with austin & sneeg’s deaths. the wall just kind of Stops with no indication of them being crushed and its not apparently obvious that they died

💚 gen zero preview!!! i’m so excited, wondering who will be brought in for that one

💚 hearing the echos of “just let me die” in the beginning was haunting, fantastic stuff loved it

💚 HOW DID I FORGET THE PHOTOS THAT WAS SO GOOD ARE THOSE REAL BABY RANBOO PHOTOS?? INCREDIBLE

💚 overall i quite enjoyed the founder’s cut! can’t wait to see what comes next and i’m so proud of ranboo!!

💙 what is it with media about content creator self inserts that suffer immensely with little to no comfort that draws me in so? why has this happened so many times??

[edwad]

If you had to pick one book to give background on the political economy Capital is criticizing would you suggest Rubin's History of Economic Thought? Any major issues you have with it? Also wonder what you think of Catherine Colliot-Thélène's claim in the afterword that: "If the ‘naturalness’ of economic laws is definitely illusory, the critique of political economy must deny the very existence of the object of political economy"?

rubin's history is written from a pretty sophisticated/defensible marxian perspective so it definitely has a lot going for it in that regard, but that is also its primary limit because it treats marx as the chief authority on the history of economic thought. this might be helpful for thinking through marx's project as he understood it, but it's not as good when it comes to taking a step back and estimating marx's performance by any other standard (eg 100 years of HET scholarship since rubin's text, 150 years since marx's, etc)

as far as the afterword goes, this message pushed me to take another look at it. i tried to read it a few years ago and found it basically indecipherable lmfao but this time it was pretty easy sailing so im not sure if im just more comfortable with the language now or what but it seemed to hit a lot similar notes to the kinds of things ive said here. it is very clearly indebted to a lot of the same post-althusserian stuff that ive been talking about (MCCT is cited approvingly several times and really seems to be the chief text that colliot-thélène is working with), so im sympathetic to some of the broad stroke theoretical problems being posed, but i would quibble with some of the assumptions at play.

she acknowledges the changes to marxs plans for the CoPE and even some of the theoretical transformations, but i think she draws too generously from the pre-capital marx of the grundrisse and the 59 contribution (or sometimes even further back to his work in the 40s!). there are both valuable texts for illuminating certain elements of marxs work/thinking, but you have to be careful in how you use these texts to make claims about marxs later work. she also has a tendency to hone in on the word "equilibrium" which comes out of the secondary material she's working with (namely MCCT) and not from marx, which then turns into her spending a lot of time hammering on about marxian equilibrium that i think is less textually justifiable than she believes, although it's crucial to her argument. how this bleeds into the stuff on "capital in general" is especially confusing because, as she notes, rosdolsky is probably right to believe that this approach to the object is dropped by marx (so why does this get held against him here?) etc etc.

regardless, it has an obvious family resemblance to the species of critique im working through, because she shares the same concern over the object of critique itself, but it is much narrower and i think too bogged down in categories which more properly belong to 20th century economics and the particular style of post-sraffian ricardo interpretation which dominated the minds of intellectual historians in CSE circles around the time she wrote this.

the result is that i think she misses the mark in pretty important ways, even if i think the conceptual difficulties of marxs categories are worth pointing out. the problem however is that these are the same kinds of issues which have been pointed out by clever marx-reconstructionists since rubin himself. this might be interesting marx scholarship, but it's not necessarily damning to his project, as all of the attempts to salvage him have made relatively clear (some of them have been quite successful even!)

when it comes to her specific claim about the naturalness of economic laws, i think this basically forfeits the epistemological element that she herself tries to raise. her entire critique could basically be summarized as follows:

marxs categories are non-empirical, but their merit is supposedly in their interconnections akin to an organic whole, so that, like a biological process, the invisible mechanisms are demonstrated in the surface results (relative prices etc). marx does this because the bourgeois economics which he is critiquing is modeled after natural science (specifically physics, although this is never really named in her critique), however the economy is not like a natural science at all. therefore we have to ask why marx's assumptions take this naturalistic assumption for granted if he is trying to prove that these are not natural categories etc etc.

this basically poses the question which marx himself tries to account for, as if he is failing for beginning with the exact problem she wishes he had addressed. its a very confusing place for her to end up, and i wonder if her afterword was rushed to completion because she suddenly reaches this point in the last couple of pages (the main criticism as you've quoted belongs to the last paragraph) after what strikes me as a very carefully written and thought-through piece until maybe the last third of the text. to suggest "if economic laws aren't natural then they must be fake so why bother trying to study them unless you're guilty of the same thing" fails to ask why the political economists would ever begin to conceive of the phenomena in this way. she is disinterested in the plausibility of the bourgeois conception, as if it's simply an erroneous collective accident and the fact that so many people's beliefs are structured this way isn't noteworthy once we admit that it's wrong. the irony is that, unlike marx, the result is that she basically takes this for granted by simply dismissing marx's immanent critique of it as being more of the same.

[stay-midnight]

Unreleased Draft #5 • A Banquet for the Emperor

Emperor Yang Jeongin x Guard Male Reader

Synopsis • Today was the young emperor’s birthday where people from different countries all across the continent will gather to celebrate it. It’s tradition now really, it has a really long history to why it is as it is.

A/N • This was supposed to be the 2022 Jeongin BDAY Fic! I didn't continue it cuz I didn't have enough time and I was both busy and drained huhu! But yeah, its a bit too similar to Royals which is also another reason why I lost inspo!

Author's Ratings:

Plot/Thought Process - 2/10, Royalty Fic has grown over me, Im sorry HUHU but I tried to make it different with a guard sneaking into a birthday! But overall its too similar to Royals

Writing Style / Level - 8.5/10, It has good writing atleast definitely the best out of the 5 unreleased drafts because its the most recent out of all em!

Write-ability / Needed Creativity - 10/10, I could probably complete it quite fast cuz Im familiar with Royalty fics a bit!

As of this moment, you were sitting in a last minute meeting, a boring one that was called by the head of knights. The meeting was about where each knight will be stationed in different locations around the castle. Security is extremely tight during the grand celebration for the emperor, as a lot of nobles tend to bring expensive gifts to gain the awes and thanks of His Majesty.

Drool seemed to almost fall out of your mouth as the meeting continues, seemingly a waste of time as you got drowsier, the knight beside you and great friend Bo had to elbow you to not draw attention to which you silently thanked him.

A silent sigh came out of your mouth as you continued to listen.

For hours..... At 5:00 in the morning.... 13 hours before the grand celebration. His Majesty isn't even awake yet so why should we be.

Unnoticed and in your thoughts, you jumped as the leader of the knights spoke, “Y/N! Are you even listening?!” His expression was menacing as he glared down on you as all the other knights stared at you

To which you lowered your head, mumbling a small “Yes, Sir..”

The man clicked his tongue, “Don’t lie straight to my face, as I was saying, You are going to be stationed at the southern gates with Kim Bo. Finally understand?” he said, clearly annoyed with your absence of mind and hearing.

You nodded, “Understood, sir.”

Bo, the knight beside you couldn't hold out a grin.

He was amused as he had warned you of your airy behavior earlier. You rolled your eyes at him and sat straight, pretending to listen while your mind wanders as the voice of the meeting fades.

...

“Dismissed.” The leader spoke firmly as the knights stood up as you do too, bowing before most started to leave the room while some stayed to chat to which they received the unpleasant stare of the leader.

You were long gone, scurrying away as the word “Dismissed.” was spoken.

Now, Bo was right beside you again as your best friend and camaraderie. You already had told him your plan of sneaking and blending in the upcoming celebration. “Where did you get the rich-looking clothes anyways?” He asks, settling down with a huff as you both finally arrived at your station.

“Oh, I got my tailor to made them, she made the gems as real and shiny as possible. She is so good! She creates wonderful clothing out of cheap products, I wonder why her business isn’t booming as it is.” You spout, sighing at the end of the sentence.  Now, your knight friend had a gleam in his eyes.

“What?” you ask, noticing his suspicious look.

“Ooh~ You like her, don’t you?” he says, slightly in awe as he made heart shapes with his hand.” 

You tut, shaking your head at what he said, “She’s an amazing friend, she even gave me a discount, but other than that - Nothing more.” He look at you in disbelief at what you just said. 

“Believable.” he said with a tone of sarcasm as you denied him again until he drops it. “Now let’s see your outfit! I still haven’t seen it cause if you don’t blend, me covering for you will all be for nothing.” he says, excitement apparent in his voice.

“Wait, I hid it somewhere near the clock tower. It’s far and it’s all because my guess was wrong on the location of our station.” you said, pouting a bit at the length you had to walk to.

“Atleast, nobody goes to that part of the castle much.” you said, sighing.

“That’s really far.. Hm, I’ll cover for you, come grab it and wear down your helmet okay? If you get recognized, we will get a lecture.” He says seriously, insinuating his tip as he hit your metal helmet lightly.

You nodded as you started walking away, helmet down, restricting your vision a minimum. Bo waves as he sat down.

...

The sound of silence fills your ears, leaves rustling at this side of the castle. It was dead silent here as no guards ever come here due to the enclosed space. You spotted the white cloth on one of the trash cans that you hid it at last night.

“Hmm..” you wondered, looking around at the empty hallways, you were about to leave but a single footstep caused you to freeze up and run behind a pillar.

“What am I doing? Act normal, act like a guard.” you thought.

About to be on sight and act normal for the approaching, until you peeked and noticed it was not someone to be expected.

“HIS MAJESTY?!?! Oh my god, I’m going to be sent to the guillotine, please don't see me, please don't see me..” You were panicking and chanting in your mind, noticing the rather normal and plain white clothes that he was wearing but he was still as handsome and elegant as ever with those sharp fox eyes.

The young emperor stopped in his tracks, your heart beating out of your chest, as sweat cascaded down your face through the knight helmet.

“You know, you could've picked a better hiding place than... That.” the young emperor, named Yang Jeongin said out loud — voice stiff and rough as if he just got out of bed, he managed to catch a glimpse of a small piece of your armor.

You felt your throat dry, too frozen in fear to move or do anything.

“No use in continuing to hide.” he said, tone a bit tired or emotionless.

In a shot of adrenaline, you immediately went face to face with the emperor, kneeling to your knees fast and keeping your head down. “Y-Your Majesty..! I—I don't dare i-intrude, a friend g-got me to get s-something here.” you said rushed, a bit unintelligible.

The young emperor stood and look down at you with a raised brow as he noticed the white baggage you had on your hand.

The young emperor could care less about it.

“Go.” he simply said, as you ran shaken up and frightened.

...

Running up to your stationed post, Bo noticed your rather tired figure. It raised many questions for him, “Woah, you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost.” he says, clearly joking playfully at your distraught expression and sweaty forehead.

You held your hand up at him as you caught your breath, “His Majesty...” you mumbled, wiping the sweat off your forehead with your wrist, as you tried to calm your heart and trembling fingers down.

“Hm? What about His Majesty? What happened..?” he asks, both curious and worried as he leaned in to hear your answer.

“He.. His Majesty saw me as he was walking at the hallways near the clock tower...” you answered, sitting down near Bo, “I thought, I was going to die...” you added as you blew a sigh of relief. Contrary to the shocked face of your best friend and partner who not only very shocked but scared for your own life.

You stifled a laugh as you noticed Bo’s face, “His Majesty let me go without any questions.” you coughed out, smiling a little of how funny he looked right now.

“Are you sure that you’re fine?” He asks, still not fully convinced since His Majesty is known to be punishing at people.

“Yeah...” 

A wave of relief passed through Bo, before finally remembering to what you got to show as the ‘cheap but supposedly expensive-looking outfit’ as your wear for sneaking inside to festivities and feasts later.

“I wanna see it now then~!” he pipes up, you stared at him incredulously like he didn't just forget your life-death situation earlier.

“What?” he asks, noticing your stare.

“Nothin’, I’ll show you tonight, I am not prepared to strip my clothes here.” you say, clearly aware of the surroundings. The clatter of armor as some knights walk by, the gardener’s shearing the bushes to magnificent shapes to fit the young emperor’s want and even the loud instruments playing and practicing for later. It’s too occupied.

“Well.. We just have to pass time until, I’ll probably leave for a bit at noon though.” you said with a small smile as you watch Bo nod his head along at your words.

. . . . .

It’s was time for the esteemed guests to enter the castle — other royals and nobles alike will be present. After wearing the 'royal' wear, claid with fake gemstones and other numerous patterns symbolising nobility, it was time to sneak in and blend within the crowd of the rich.

A soft sigh passed through your lips, before a confident look was smeared across your face. “For delicious food and wine, calm and composed.” you mumbled a pep talk to yourself. You promised yourself that you wouldn't get caught and stay at sidelines to eat dishes. You only live once, as they say.

Finally, after Bo’s continuous screech and excitement at your spectacular clothes. you already went to the path you scouted for yourself as the most way to sneak it. Guards wouldn't budge at the sight of the more or less flashy clothing. If ever approached, you will use the alias last name of the Noble family ��Eulae” as the tailor stated the certain family wouldn't attend due to territorial problems. The castle didn't send invitations rather have the royals and nobles come in as they please which was very stupid in your opinion.

. .

After 20 minutes or so of sneaking around and guards bowing to you, you finally arrived inside the great castle of the emperor Yang. You released a breath of relief and casted your gaze towards all the precious and expensive things, you saw.

From the royal patterns inlaid upon the walls, to the grand chandelier and finally the actual hugeness of the hall where the banquet will be held.

[castlebyersafterdark]

I don't know! Why am I like this!!

hehehe ok firstly, shoutout to the peeps who can't watch panels due to the celebs, i can't relate but i feel for you! i struggle to watch them because of the awkwardness of the fans instead haha - awkward questions, silly questions, repetitive questions, people who burst into tears when they come to their turn. im sorry i just find that hard to watch lol! maybe its my inner journalist itching to be there and ask the real q's. or maybe im too british! pull yourself together, man! (said in a stiff military accent lmao) just kidding.

but as someone who used to find it harder than i do now to engage in this kind of content, my unsolicited advice that may not work for you is to really focus on being interested in what they have to say or are trying to say and what that might mean. then your brain kind of cuts out/dismisses the umming and ahhing, just sees it as a side effect instead of a tick or annoyance. obviously some speakers are worse than others but i honestly find most people in ST to be ok speakers, with the worst perhaps being finn. the others are all amenable and confident public speakers. i get the finn angst, it's never comfortable to see someone else who is uncomfortable... but he's fascinating, so i try to treat him as a fascinating person to observe when the empathy kicks in too hard and makes me want to hide lol.

which leads me to say vinny I AM HUGGING YOU RIGHT NOW! can't believe people were mean about you crying when another started crying - this is literally pure kind empathy at work and you are such a dreamboat for that. me and my whole family are the same, so i feel lucky to have had that experience. actually we used to be told not to cry as kids, only because my mum knew it would set her off too (she was already crying as she said it haha).

Yeah - good advice!! I really want to listen to what these actors have to say so it's a major power through moment every time!! And yeah, also not saying it to be mean but it's the fans primarily, but people can't help the reaction they have, and I know I'd fuck it up if I tried to ask something in public, which is why I never would. Actually, I'd try to be really funny and charming and it would fall completely flat and make me just seem like an ass so also, would never approach the mic at a con hahaha.

It's the same with live music or theater - I have this sinking fear in the pit of my stomach sometimes where as good as the show is, god if something goes wrong on stage and they flub lines and have trouble recovering or seriously mess-up a song or have a mishap, I would be dying inside and probably have a silent internal panic attack myself and wish I was anywhere else!! Get a grip, man, I am saying to myself!!!

And... thank you for the kind words. It's ok, I've manged to come out on the other side fine and unchanged, with people in my life who've made it known it's ok to be emotional, and be too much, and to feel deeply. And there's nothing wrong with being a guy who tears up a lot. (Part of what draws me to Will - I love him and I love his sensitivity and the way he feels so deeply. I've never seen a character like him before. Why when people complain about him being a crybaby it's a major 'shut up and let him be' moment from me! And Noah seems to also be similar so I feel kinship with that lovely guy). Listen. I grew up with 4 older brothers so. The little gay baby is my lot in life and it's totally fine now, but there was a lot of enduring bullshit growing up and breaking away from terrible friends and then finding people who let you be you. That's the goal in life. Find people who you can support and who will support you in turn, all sides. ❤️❤️❤️

[wasyago]

hi! this is the bunch-a-questions anon. this wont be an ask ask. thank you for answering! it really gives me so much insight about tools and processes, i really enjoy seeing/reading how different artists have different ways in approaching creation of art. it’s all so interesting to me

and oooh i know what you mean about looking at a lot of different artists! it’s inspiration!! i find those things to be amazing too, it’s so cool. it’s like “this spot is inspired by an artist” “this artist draws this like this, so i wanted to try” “i think the way an artist drew this was neat and i wanted to try an implement it” it reminds me of that one post how we, as people, are a mosiac of other people and i believe it to be the same for how artists are too with their art

i feel inspired by the way you draw….. everything!!! it gets me pumped to try and replicate the way you do some things. like the shapes you create, the colors you choose, the way your lineart seems to be so flowy, how dynamic everything feels and how different each drawing you create is from one another (i saw you reblog that meme of like “why shouldnt i draw characters from the waist up and that is SO me, but it’s shoulders up” because drawing full bodies makes mh drawings feel so stiff, i need to practice more!!), the poses of the characters. just.. every aspect of your art is so, so, so nice!!

the way you draw, in all your styles, it’s definitely one of the ones that is such a good scratch to my brain. it gets me all giddy and happy! i’m not sure if i’ll get into jwri, mostly because my attention span will not let me be able sit and focus on listening before i get distracted and miss context on parts, BUT i still go to your blog almost every day just so i can see your art, no matter what it is, no matter who the characters are because it’s always so so good and i love taking it in. (will eat your art if i could, i am so serious)

this was a long one but yeah! i just wanted to let you know how awesome i see your art is! and how i also think youre a cool person, you seem like such a good peep to hang out it! might be weird to say but if you were a blorbo, you would be one of the most blorbiest blorbos to blorbo ever

hope youre having a good day!!

OH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS THIS IS SOOOOO

your explanation of taking inspiration from other artists was so poetic and beautiful! truly inspiring in itself

its okay if you can't get into jrwi, i get it! i didn't think i would get into it as well and after binging all the episodes i honestly forgot why i even started listening in the first place. remembered recently tho! it was because i was going a little crazy while making the picrew and needed some actual talking in the background instead of just music. so, if you ever decide to give it a try, or listen to something else equally as lengthy, try to busy your hands with something that doesn't require a lot of thinking! it helps me at least! worked both with jrwi and tma. it's like, doing something monotonous (knitting, sorting files, cleaning the house, etc) can be incredibly boring if i sit in silence and let my mind wonder. alternatively, listening to something long or watching a long movie can be incredibly boring as well because i struggle to pay attention to the same thing for two hours. but combining these is really good, because it keeps both my mind and hands busy, but not overwhelmingly so!

and ough ough ough thank you again for such heartwarming message! im so happy to hear that you feel inspired by my art, and i wish you good luck in your own art journey!!!!!!! remember to have fun and listen to yourself and do things that you find interesting and that you enjoy! don't force yourself to draw stuff you don't like! all art is personal and individual, so don't be afraid to make things "you"! you don't have to do clean line, you don't have to do lines at all, you don't have to do coloring or shading, if you don't like it! and if you do like it or are excited to try, you should go for it! don't be afraid to change and grow but don't force yourself into it!

also don't foget to stretch before drawing its very important!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rxttenfish]

hi !!! sending this on anon because i am rather nervous all things considered <:3 (i am lying to you, i have not considered 'all things'.) one monster prom fan to another (can we be compared using such broad terminology ? i feel as if i am domesticated compared to you... [compliment, or at the very least not inherently negative]) , i wanted to thank you SO SO SO VERY MUCH for giving miranda so much love and thought and mulling her over in your mind in such a ... refreshing way

i also really really really like miri , but i can only aspire to have your level of dedication . it feels almost like we are of totally different worlds... !!!!!

thank you for bringing in real world biology too :3 i absolutely adore your design for her so much (this is most likely not proper grammar, but it is very late and i am very cold and so i will hope with all my heart you will excuse this mistake. one of many, i should assume) - though !!!! i do have a question if that is alright ?????

i cant say that a marine macropredator of a significantly vibrant pink really strikes me as advantageous colouring - does the abyssal environment that you say the merfolk live in negate the need for camouflage and such ????? i apologise for sounding passive aggressive !!!! i am merely asking a question. cocking my head to the side if you will

additionally, i would like to ask something foolish. how do they acquire food? i dont want to say 'hunt', because that might seem insulting. historically were they built for stalking, or high speed chases, or...???? please, talk 'nerdy to me' as they say !!! <- in an entirely normal way befitting two strangers of course.

you know, i would have expected to hit the ask word limit by now. but it seems i have not. yippee !!!!

with my extra space, i shall add this: I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE WAY YOIU WRITE MIRI . GOOD LOOOOOORD IT IS AMAZING HAVIJNG SOMEOENE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING IWIITH HER thank yoiu for making her at least moderately intelligent. i feel blessed <- is this all too harsh sounding???? im a little new to all this letter/ask-writing thing <:3

IN ANY CASE !!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOIU SO VERY MUCH. AGAIN. drops this and scuttles away

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/761693443676045363/1183251697129226270/ordered3.png

also i believe you can indeed tell, but i drew that in ms paint with my finger .. sorry that it looks like poop <:3

(moving the image out of the link just in case it breaks-)

AAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! this looks so WONDERFUL i love the way that you've shaped her head and how you've captured how Chunky it is... i know its one of the things people have the hardest time drawing with her so its just all the more impressive how well youve managed to capture her!!!

i also love the little doodles eeeee..... please feel free to toss all ocs at miri, its enrichment for her <3 ironically gentle chewing/biting is a Play and Bonding thing for merfolk so she shall happily Bites Bites Bites back-

(also i LOVE her smile!!! you arent anthropomorphizing in the slightest for that - miri often does have very human expressions in a way that's odd for a merfolk, because she effectively got imprinted during her time spent inland... and its politically useful if you smile and match expressions with the people you're trying to work with anyways)

ill also go ahead and answer your questions because i can! very easily clarify on them!

the color: actually, being bright red and pink is actually very common for deep sea animals, due to the way light works at depth! its why i decided miranda was abyssal, because that felt like the most natural way to explain why she's pink, since it's such an uncommon color in nature.

basically, different colors of light have different lengths! red is the shortest wavelength of light, and blue is the longest. water might be clear, but there's a lot of water in the ocean, and the more water you add, the more it filters out light - which is why the bottom of a pool might be dark and shady, but if you hold a little of the water in your hands there's no shade. the ocean is a lot deeper than a pool, and so it gets darker as you go down, but because it's also clear, it doesn't filter out all that light at the same rate.

red, being the shortest wavelength of light, gets filtered out first, so red often gets quickly darker the deeper down you go, until it's completely black! camouflage is dependent on the environment, so their color and brightness has to match the background, but it also depends on the light that's hitting the animal. it's why fawns have dappled spots, or animals might have black stripes, so they can mimic the light of their environment. and when your environment has no red light, well... red's a pretty good color to be!

because of this, a lot of animals in the deep sea can't actually see red either, which is doubly the reason why you might want to be red! think of it like tigers, and how ungulates often can't see their orange, making them look just about the same color as the foliage around them when they're hunting! miranda might stick out on land, but that's just because we aren't seeing her in the environment she's made for, where she blends in with everything else around her as much as a pure black animal.

(it's also why her bioluminescence is blue - blue is the longest wavelength of light, and the one most animals can see at that depth. if she lights up, then she wants to be seen, and she can even alter her silhouette to appear larger or smaller or breaking it up into multiple shapes if she needs to. it's why her tapetum lucidum is blue when light's shone on it, because there is blue light to be seen at depth, it's just very dim!)

(this is also why giant squid are bright red, and why the stoplight loosejaw fish is so special! the latter actually produces its own red light, and can see red light, which means that it has a secret light that won't reveal where it is but will reveal to it where its prey is!)

food: this is something that depends a lot, because there are actually multiple different species of merfolk, which is mostly my fault because i don't always feel like i communicate this the best. they're all slightly different in how they evolved to capture prey, with abyssals in particular being fuckoff huge ambush predators that attack from below, and others being shallower-water hunters or more adapted for smaller, faster prey - but they all evolved from an ancestor with a fairly consistent prey-capture method.

in short, all merfolk are ancestrally evolved to hunt whales and other large prey items, with all the extant species still holding at least a degree of this. primarily, they were ambush predators who were good at getting in close to their prey before a sudden burst of speed. they would work together in close-knit groups (one of the big pressures for their increasing socialization and larger brains, to coordinate such groups) to all mob a single prey item at once, hitting with force to cause sudden trauma, and then using their claws, double-thumbs, back feet, and mouths to hold onto their prey and refuse to be dislodged. they'd repeatedly claw and use their strong bites and massive heads to rip deeply into their prey, causing further massive trauma and shock, and if that failed, bleeding their prey to death.

think of it like the raptor prey restraint model, just further taking advantage of the fact that they were underwater, where no one else has hands that could potentially rip them off. being smaller and somewhat less-optimized for marine life compared to things like sharks and whales and large fish worked for them, because they had a novel adaptation that allowed them to take advantage of things no one else could, and the numbers to make up for it. this is, likewise, why they never lost their hands and fully developed flippers, instead making their limbs as flipper-like as possible to make up for it.

then as time went on and certain populations became separated from each other, they adapted for slightly different niches, but all remain fairly closely related to each other as a genus.

in the modern day, most merfolk don't really "hunt" for all of their meals, at least not in the same way that we might think. don't get me wrong, they still absolutely hunt and it's a larger part of their lives than it is for most humans, but they have options.

mostly, the merfolk theory for their relationship with nature is to invite it in. this is not to say they aren't controlling and pruning it, but they do live underwater, and it's far harder to keep animals out than it is on land, so merfolk accepted it and worked with it. they'll work to promote growth around their buildings and where they live, fostering the growth of sea grass and algae and coral and other sessile animals, encouraging them to set down and grow in these areas, and they'll then let more wild animals move in, further encouraged by these natural sources of food and shelter, on top of merfolk working even further to encourage them in. they serve as a functional cleanup crew for the merfolk in these settlements, being allowed to eat anything that merfolk might drop or go to waste, and even moreso might be purposefully fed at times, or have specific homes for them built. merfolk will keep encouraging them and taking care of them until they become a biorich hotspot, creating unique oasises for wildlife to live alongside merfolk.

however, this isn't just a free-for-all, persay. merfolk will also purposefully prune these populations and control how they form, often removing "problem" animals and encouraging certain behaviors which makes it easier for these populations to live alongside merfolk, not viewing them as a threat, but also not viewing them as an opportunity either. they will directly shape how these areas grow and cultivate them on a physical level, often using them as an easy shortcut to literally grow their settlements and buildings. but they will also harvest from these populations and selectively breed them, until their cities and towns act as massive public gardens full of food to be caught, picked, and eaten at any time

as there are also a lot of (very politically powerful) nomadic groups, they also do this, albeit not always so directly. they'll have specific shoals or "runs" of fish that they will follow behind and take care of, managing as they move through the ocean in accordance with the seasons. this is where the whales still factor in, because the nomadic groups will also take care of the whales, purposefully keeping an eye on their pods and taking care of them and, when the time comes, being choosy and particular in which whale they select at any given time to be hunted, harvested, and eaten.

(there's also the way in which food is distributed and managed throughout the merkingdom, since some food is indeed shipped and moved throughout the different areas, but that's a different story for another time and i've talked enough)

BUT!!!! thank you so much and thank you for enjoying all of this that ive been making with miri, and thank you for giving me an excuse to talk more about her <3

[heroictoonz]

a wip to a think im just kinda fucking around with. its also my headcanon for dibs show shirt and why i draw zim wearing it so often

In the doorway was the very alien that had been either missing or up to no good. However, Dib immediately noticed that he wasn’t wearing his usual pink uniform dress. Which was probably the weirdest thing about the situation. The alien never took that thing off. At one point Dib even believed that the dress was part of the irken’s body. Only being proved wrong when he once ripped off a piece of the fabric to study during a past fight years ago. 

Instead of the dress, Zim had kept on the black under suit. Though it looked as though the suit was sleeveless, only covering the top and legs. Zim also kept on his usual gloves and boots. The only other thing the alien had on was Dib’s favorite old shirt he used to wear in middle school. 

Dib had almost forgotten that Zim had stolen it all those years ago. The alien had stopped him in the skool halls the first day he started wearing something new. 

“What are you wearing?!” he has hissed as if he were utterly offended to see Dib change his clothes, of all things. 

“What are you talking about?”

“The frowny shirt! You are not wearing it!” Zim proclaimed loudly, causing a few of their peers to look over at the strange duo. “Did you change loyalties?” he asked, giving the human a skeptic look and leaning in as if to observe him closer. 

“Never!” Dib hissed back. “I’ll always fight for the earth, especially against nasty little aliens like you, Zim.” Dib crossed his arms and frowned down at the smaller student. They were just starting 8th grade and had only been back to skool for about a week. However, during the summer, Dib had grown a few inches where Zim had stayed the same. It always pissed the alien off. 

Irritation flashed on Zim’s face, but he didn’t engage, which was surprising in all honesty. Instead, he leaned back and gave Dib another look over. He had a thoughtful look on his face for a moment before crossing his arms over his chest, matching Dib’s own stance. “Then where is your other uniform?”

“You mean my shirt? It’s at home. I out grew it,” Dib admitted, letting his arms drop to his sides. “I’m probably gonna throw it out or something.” The thought brought a frown to him. It was his favorite shirt. He hated wearing anything else and only did so when he absolutely had to. 

“What?!” screeched the alien. 

Dib jerked back at the sudden yell. “What do you mean ‘what’? I out grew the thing, Zim. I can’t wear it anymore! What do you aliens do when you outgrow your clothes?” 

Zim huffed. “Irkens never out grown. Within the equivalent of an earth year, our bodies have finished forming and rarely grow any more. Any growth past that is only within a single earth inch and do not require the replacement of our uniform. And even if it did, it is a disgrace to dispose of the symbol of your time living for the empire!” Zim threw out an accusatory finger as if he were presenting damning evidence to his imaginary case. 

Dib merely slapped the tiny hand out of his face. “Well, on earth we grow. Didn’t you ever notice that the adults are taller than us?” 

Zim pulled his hands closer to his chest and frowned. “No matter! The Dib must continue wearing your putrid earth ‘she-ort’.”

“Zim I know you know the word ‘shirt’. You’re just trying to annoy me-”

“Nonsense!” Zim yelled to interrupt the other. “Zim demands you not throw it out!” 

“I am not keeping a shirt I can’t even wear in my house. If you want it that bad then just take it,” Dib had hardly even processed his own words before Zim was running off down the hall towards the skool exit. 

When he had gotten home that night, his window lock was picked, and the shirt had disappeared. He was actually pretty surprised nothing else had been taken or defaced. He never did know what Zim had done with the old tee, but he had never really expected to see him wearing the article. 

[mako-neexu]

ive only seen few artists draw good dynamics of guda and chaldea staff (before papermoon was released so there is simply 'mob' or original character drawn)...

but although i really find it hard to believe that guda isnt close to them, i always believed that must have chatted and made small talk with each other at some point. after all, as people in the same situation, you gravitate to each other and get to know each other. about the feelings for the current problem. about what to do in the current situation. you bond with each other. establish a link and such.

then again, there is hundreds of servants in chaldea, outstaffing the chaldea staff of merely less than thirty and combined with the oprichniki raid, its down to less than ten (iirc bc i cant remember the exact number)

so guda... would definitely have less time to talk with them outside of mission briefings, report submission and medical examinations. i wished a little the dynamic would be more like...some chaldea staff hated guda too. maybe its not too late to add that? though there is camaraderie like meuniere or neutrality/amiablility with cerejeira, i hope they add another chaldea staff that hates guda. either they died back in part 2 or not, i'd like to see it.

a chaldea staff who thinks guda is incompetent without someone to whisper to their ear to help direct them to where they will go or do, a chaldea staff who thinks that guda being special is getting into their head, just because heroes of the Throne liked them for merely saying a few words in a conversation, thus looks down at them during 1.5...a chaldea staff angry at guda for feeling "nothing" when they came back when dr. roman had used his trump card. merely smiling as they told everyone that they were alright when they back from the rayshift. instead of crying like everyone else in the command room. why isnt that bastard Master not crying? how inhuman. how disgusting. is it too late to add it? that kind of chaldea staff is id like to see. a member of the same organization who hated guda from the start to now.

one of the doujin i also read of chaldea staff and guda interaction, one of my favorite, is something i'd like to be implemented in the story... im still hoping but i hope at least there are more guda moments if there are on more chaldea staff involvement. in cany case, even without romaguda elements, its a precious story that i love.