#I'll stop offering
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No, I'm not okay. Thanks for not asking.
#once again I am useless to everyone unless I'm a vessel for their stress#my own doesn't count and doesn't matter#and when you all use me up and leave me a husk you wonder why I'm not moving when you ask me for help#has anyone asked me recently if I'm okay? pshht#I'm the Support Person I'm always okay I never need anything#and if I do it's my fault for not supporting enough#ah well que cera cera#this is just who I am#I'm a vessel and nothing else#I've never been anything else and never will be#nobody gives a shit about me except in terms of what I can do for them news at 11#did you mean: my entire life thus far?#I'm sick of it#I'm sick of screaming and pleading for help into the cold uncaring void and getting 'so? I have my own problems#leave me alone if you're not going to help me'#fine. i'll leave you alone#I'll stop asking#I'll stop offering#I'll see how long it takes anyone to notice#they won't notice they never do#or rather they will as soon as I can't be the support person anymore#and then they'll get mad at me for not supporting them because I'm not an autonomous person#I'm an on call therapist#with no problems of my own#how dare I pretend to be anything else#I want one (1) person to ask me if I'm okay without having to be prompted to give a shit about my wellbeing#one person. once.#but it's always started with 'oh how are your parents'#'how's your sister'#everyone asks me if everyone BUT me is okay
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恵 ; "blessing"
12/22: consider this piece my love letter to a character who has become so near and dear to me and who has inspired so much of my artistic growth this past year <3 happy birthday megumi, your name becomes you ⊹ ࣪ ˖
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#fushiguro megumi#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#when i tell u i worked on this piece for 7 days for 12hrs/day i am not exaggerating#i wanted to pull out all the stops i wanted this to be a full showcase of my skills#i was worried abt the angle bc birdseye/lookdown angles r always tricky and looking at it a month later i think i wld change some stuff but#overall i'm just so satisfied the background the flowers the colours#which btw the flowers KILLED me the rosary KILLED me his entire hand and sleeve area had me like why did i do this#but it was worth it it's all for him everything is for him id do ANYTHINg fr him do u understand me do. do you. do u understaND#if all i can offer him in tribute is art then u best bet i'm not gna cut corners#if that means hand rendering each individual turquoise vein and jade bead and paper fold then that's what i'll do#hbd again megumi u truly have become my muse <3
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i found some fanarts & fanvid [ x.x.x ] and watched a bit of book 7 playthrough where sebek cried
#considering watching the whole playthrough because when will ortho release me#twisted wonderland#twst#sebek zigvolt#baul zigvolt#twst silver#only his pants visible tho fsh#twst grim#twst yuu#twst mc#twst baby#book 7#fanart#they really had their moments silver and sebek#and the whole diasomnia family gang#HE QUICKLY STOPPED HIS CRYING THO that sebek#IT CRACKS ME UP#i mean the story has to proceed BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TURN OFF UR TEARS TAP THAT FAST#that fanart of baul thinking that his grown up grandson would not be interested in sweets anymore so he offered sebek coffee#but then his grandson like um... i still... can't drink coffee... maybe if i keep trying i'll be able to one day...#and baul just N ever mind pl ease have this whole cake#FSFH#H SEBEK
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Picking people for his gang like rotten apples off the ground
#Fuyuhiko kuzuryu#Peko pekoyama#ryoma hoshi#izuru kamukura#chihiro fujisaki#Ultimate Impostor#An art#They're not rotten apples they're just traumatized and a bit damaged but the caption was funnier#Anyway these are all characters that Fuyuhiko either invites to join him or offer protection to#Points again to my 'people on the fringe of society' ramble#If I had limitless time and patience and mobility I'd make a comic series about the funky antics of a really ragtag Yakuza group#I'm seeing it in my brain ok#Impostor is different they turned him down and are remarkably good at handling their own shit#But maybe they can be convinced to lend a hand on occasion.....#Chihiro was not offered a job just protection. Why? Fuyuhiko just picks favourites like that#Izuru and Ryoma both got the 'hey if you got nowhere else to go...'#Ok I'll stop
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You wanna hear a good story? Listen to this one.
Mobius + comfort
#owen wilson#mobius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#loki#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs#CHARACTER OF ALL TIME FOREVER BELOVED#thank god this is my own post and i'm not about to write a tag essay under some pour soul's set bc here we go lmao#imagine MAKING comfort at a place like the tva!!#where we know what happened when he hesitated#and also explains the general antagonistic attitude towards him by most of the other hunters in s1 bc why would they respect him afterwards#but he never stops believing things will get better because if he can change so can anyone else#when d-90 essentially apologizes for KILLING him how could mobius do anything but offer forgiveness#when he himself had followed the guise of those same orders to kill and understands what it feels like to realize that#for all the reassurance and support he gives everyone else the most he ever allowed himself was a dream#which led to the same rapt attention and focus from a god no less in order to finally be seen for the first time and appreciated bc of it#then as always owen showed this in a million ways from microexpressions to line delivery so guess i'll just yell about it for eternity#(or at least some more in my mind since tumblr is cutting this off in search unless i trim the tags but y'all feel me ✌️😅)
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11 + an extra row ??? (I've been doing too many)
#second ones joke is that rafe would never reply like that#he'd immediately excuse himself after reading the text#get on his lil bike and speed all the way to the trailer to get railed#heavily relate to the last one 😒#I know everything#even if you think I don't#I do#Let this be a cryptic warning and if you're nervous? Prob about you.#Anyways!!! I'll probably never stop spamming the tag with these dumb posts bc I have nothing better to offer rn#rafebarry#rafe x barry#rarry obx#rafe cameron#barry (obx)#barry obx#obx#outer banks
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Chef greg delivery just for you. it's a wonder I hadn't bearified him yet, he's my fave greg too 🔪
gays literally only want one thing (to be chopped up and eaten by a depressed man) and it's fucking disgusting
#kabukeo#something to bear in mind#other's art#limbus company#project moon#lcb gregor#r.b. sous chef gregor#namesake#i'm sorry for doing a haha funny joke reply i just like#i spent like ten minutes pacing around my house when i saw this in my inbox i'm not exaggerating#thank you for my life i love him so bad#do i need a gift art tag now i just like. i don't even know what to say#i haven't even made any actual proper posts yet i just made a silly blog i feel like i haven't done anything to earn this#to stop myself from blubbering i'm just going to respond to the tags on your rb#no problem for providing details again i think about this grown ass fucking man too god damn much but it's not a problem.#problems are only problems if you call them a problem. it's not a problem.#thank you for seeing the vision on rhino geg.#since kjh refuses to release him that just means that we can continue to acknowledge this as true and canon and there's nothing he can do#[ignore that he has a cameo in a card in game no he doesn't]#to me rosespanner is like. very much the type of guy that when you're crushing on him you try to talk to him#and then you get him to start talking about stuff he's interested in#and then before long you end up agreeing to watch something you don't care for in the slightest#solely for the purpose of having something in common to talk with him about#meanwhile he doesn't pick up on you trying to flirt with him like at all#anyway i could go on about how badly i need hex nail gregor for both bear reasons and thematic Actual reasons#but i'm pretty sure i'm about to hit the tag limit. so i'll just say thank you again for the cannibal i will treasure him forever and alway#it took me like thirty minutes to type this all out after i sat down to actually do it because i kept getting embarrassed lmao#offerings to beargregor#< gift art tag#that's it. thank you for my life once again. keep fighting the good fight soldier. we'll get this to be common fanon one day. trust.
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landduo is awesome because they'll say they hate each other and want the other to die horrible deaths and live through horrible fates, and mean it! but then they'll also do things for each other that are so kind.
they'll support each other through it all while still being little hater bitches as much as bbh may plot scheme and prank we all know he's clingy and always leaves gifts when he's gone too far
and for all the insults foolish throws bad's way he can read bad like a book and is patient will all bad's antics when anyone else would have been driven insane by now
no matter it be platonic, qpr, or romantic or just up in the air you gotta admit they're close
and even if you're not a fan you can count on their character interactions to always be interesting
#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp foolish#land duo#foolhalo#crossposting my landduo appriciaction post bc i'm p happy with it#i''m sure i missed some stuff but that's ok#remember when qbbh implied they're family#remember when leo said her favorite place was bbh's farm bc they used to hang out there in the early days#remember when bad did the building inspector prank and foolish was shocked the fed could break bbh#remember when bbh could see when foolish was missing leo under his happy facade and offered to hold his hand#remember when qbbh pole danced for foolish to cheer him up after leo's first death#remember when foolish offered bad a place in the dragon tower when the eggs got taken#remember when foolish let pomme and bad keep their vacation home for a while in his home#remember when foolish asked bbh to call him a dirty little muffin#oh wait that was yesterday#ok i'll stop#they don't speak fondly of each other but there's no doubt in my mind that they care for each other#ablate in their own 'have not attachment' immortal way
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Expanded on the Vash chibi collection 🤞
#If my printer can handle glossy vinyl and if I can figure out how to jailbreak it maybeeee I'll start offering stickers#since redbubble keeps taking everything down#trigun#trigun stampede#trigun 98#trigun maximum#vash#vash the stampede#tristamp#tri98#trimax#anyways slowly getting better at drawing that spikey hair#really wish i'd stop hyperfixating on characters with hair like that tho cause it's SO HARD TO DRAW#what in the eff happened to the cropping on this 🙄 oh well whatever#MQ doodles#mq chibi
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Chat do we fw Pressure?
#cultist's offerings#i actually kinda hate these now but I'll post em anyway because i need to stop hating everything i do sisgsbsksy#pressure#pressure roblox#sebastian solace#sebastian solace fanart#i love the fish guy.#he's just so... fish..
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han sooyoung 1863 (and her specifically) offering eternal sleep to yoo joonghyuk is an act of mercy and.... and, god, it was kindness
#orv spoilers#your god (who does not yet know she's your god) looks at you and goes#sacrifice your connections to all of these people#suffer alone for so long you become a shell of a man#and at the end i promise i'll make this world (which you love so so much) as safe as it can be#not as safe as we would want it. we cannot save it in that way#but we can hit pause and at least stop it from getting any worse#this is the best peace i can offer it and you#and then. then you can go to sleep. you can stop.#i've made you walk for so long now just a few more steps and i'll let you rest#orv#han sooyoung#yoo joonghyuk#orv.txt#fra.txt#yoohan#their dynamic in 1863 makes me insane in hindsight#and she doesn't know she made him but the fact that she alone was able to offer this to him........#of course. of course it was her. it couldn't be anyone but.
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today on random languages my brain is going 👀 at is biblical hebrew and biblical greek
#the following tags will have discussions of my faith and christianity in general so if you're not interested in that then stop reading ig#some lore: in my early teens i did consider doing a theology degree at uni and becoming an ordained minister/taking a role in the church#this was before i found out a) in my denomination only men can be ministers (deaconesses exist but yeah) and b) the church as an institutio#is pretty yikes#and then finding out i'm queer and nonbinary threw other spanners in there but despite it all my faith is still so so important to me#i want to start learning about christian/comparative theology more broadly to understand both my own faith and others' better#idk why but today i randomly ended up on the webpage for the theological college in NI and was just looking through the courses they offer#maybe someday in the distant future i'll have the money and time to burn to do an online postgrad degree with them#but yeah they have a postgrad certificate in biblical greek 👀 which looked v cool#the internet is a wonderful place and i found a pretty comprehensive looking biblical hebrew course on youtube and i'd probs be able to fin#biblical greek somewhere if i looked hard enough#greek and hebrew are both such linguistically interesting languages and being able to read some would also help in my theological adventure#so new side quest just dropped ig? at least it's my reading week this week so I can dabble in them with no consequences#i've also been wanting to try and learn a language via an immersion focus - obvs can't do full immersion with biblical greek and hebrew but#yeah using a less grammar and vocab focused approach than i'm used to#i have access to digital bibles so i could just choose a v literal english translation and then try and parse what's happening?#yeah we'll see#langblr#ellis exclaims
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How did you manage to handle not one, but FOUR separate accounts in fl? I recently made the account for my HD little guy but having to do the tutorial again just seems miserable
there's... weirdly several answers to that question, actually??
a HUGE part of it is due to the way FL is structured. the 10-minute action timer is a core part of the game on a fundamental level, and the fact that i can very easily run out of stuff to do on one character and thus have an excuse to quickly and easily swap to another is just... convenient? satisfying? i'm not entirely sure how to explain it. the fact that i can make progress even while i am fundamentally simultaneously Not Making Progress is like pure dopamine for my freak insane awful little brain. there's just something really pleasing about spending all of my actions pursuing The Goal Of The Day™ on one account before casually swapping to another and doing the same without feeling like i'm wasting time or acting to the first account's explicit detriment. the downtime helps! the recharge time helps! the structure really really works!!
i'm technically only actively playing three, maybe two accounts minimum. the only reason the fourth (the one that'll be my future BaL playthrough) currently exists at all is so i can get his earlygame completely out of the way now and not have to waste time running through it all later, when what i actually want to do is play the ambition i've made myself wait a full year to play. and also getting free goodies as seasonal stuff happens,, something something surprise tools to help us later. the only two accounts i'd say i'm really "actively playing" at the moment are caeru and lark- and of the two, lark takes the most priority, since his ambition is the one i'm currently pursuing in earnest. for a couple months now- despite being My Main FL Character- the scoundrel has actually been pretty inactive on a gameplay front outside of the occasional progression in TLC and discordance content. purely by virtue of having Very little left to do outside of Very long-term grinds and vanities. they're in their "now what?" "now you can start playing the game" era. they've graduated to previous protagonist background cameo in a sequel anime series. they're like the yin FLPC equivalent of red at the top of mount silver. they're Literally just vibing rn. i only keep posting about them regardless because i'm insane and i will never ever ever ever ever let that bat go. but yeah, big TLDR, outside of doing the bare minimum to keep making waves/notability up every week, i'm not actually spending that much time on accounts i'm not currently actively interested in playing. and that accounts for way more gaming spoons than you might think.
i have a virtually lifelong history of playing MMOs, especially and specifically world of warcraft. i was born in the endless grind for useless video game pixel vanities and/or bragging rights. molded by it. you all have merely adapted to doing the same piece of content a pointlessly excessive amount of times for literally no reason besides whimsy and folly. me? i've done my time. i've served my sentence. i've spent weeks doing the original burning crusade netherwing dailies. i've devoted days to running praetorium over and over and over again, back-to-back, nonstop, long before square enix cut it in half and made it NOT take at minimum an hour and a half per run. i've perfected my silverwastes + auric basin goldfarming strategies. i've (almost) crafted dragonwrath tarecgosa's rest. i've killed the sha of anger so many times its dying scream of agony is embedded into the very fabric of my being. ""only"" doing making your name content four times over? that is nothing to me. it means nothing to me. it is so infinitesimal i can do the persuasive seduction quests in my sleep. it's not a matter of handling misery, or having the capacity, or even sighing as i remember the brass embassy raid segment of the watchful questline seriously i don't know why i keep forgetting that exists or what even is my problem with it i just am so consistently mildly inconvenienced by it and its highly specific resource requirements and it is the worst thing ever. maybe i'm just so used to the scoundrel's near-infinite money and troves of disposable items that i've completely forgotten what being poor is like. despite having done that step 3 fucking times now. ahem. anyway. i have transcended the feeble mortal bindings of my resistant-to-grinding flesh and ascended to a higher plane of enlightenment, they may call me insane but they will be the ones left laughing when they see what that "insanity" has wrought, i've usurped them, i've usurped them all-
hacks and coughs and awkwardly clears my throat. i mean. uh. um. Ahem.
the empress' court artistry + tales of the university nerfs helped too.
#and yes#before you ask#i have forgotten which account has which items/has done which content many a time#i think the most painful incident was forgetting to keep up the scoundrel's making waves while i was still playing nemesis with caeru#given that im trying to build it up to 12 and reset their specialization... that was uniquely painful#then again they have like 40 BDR so it wasnt actually that inconveniencing lmao#fallen london#ask#long post#sorry for the infodump + sudden villain monologue.#all jokes and personal accounts aside i totally get the apprehension abt doing that stuff again#it's not for everyone. not by a long shot.#im only doing this because im genuinely invested and in love with this silly little browser game#and way back when i started i made a (only half metaphorical) solemn oath to experience all of its ''main stories''#and truly see everything it has to offer#(bc i like. physically cant do hyperfixations by halves. i need to consume Everything abt the thing or i'll explode)#(and even then i'll probably explode anyway. it's either completely drop it or go All In until it stops taking up so much space in my brain#(and. given the track record. that is not happening with FL for a while yet)#but like. that isnt actually normal behavior. just. just to clarify.#from what ive seen a VAST majority of people do not go out of their way to play literally every ambition#and that is so valid. it is so overwhelming. you have to juggle so much.#you have to play the earlygame So Many Goddamn Times.#(as i said. served my time. did my sentence. i am my scars. etc etc)#the best advice i can give as someone who's so completely desensitized to that repetition it doesnt even phase me anymore?#the same advice i can stress to all FL players. legitimately just take ur time with it. play when you want to.#dont when you dont.#sometimes you have to grit your teeth and bear things. and when it comes to alts you Will have to grit your teeth and bear it all again#but the beauty of this being a game that one plays for fun is that unlike. say. crushing deadlines or annoying coworkers in real life#you are completely within your power to decide when where and if you want to grit and bear it all#..wow this is ADVANCED yin rambling holy shit. i actually reached the tag limit. i think this ask should be put on some kind of list
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waking up to David Mazouz dropping a phd thesis on Joker and calling Joker 2 "flat and mild" instead of "outrageously hate-worthy" and outright coming out and saying "whatever good Joker 2 tried to do Gotham did first" and then proceeding to like and put an Amen to an "Only Batman would go to this length to find the good in Joker because he is his one true love" comment and SCREENCAPPING AND REPOSTING THE COMMENT AS HIS IG STORY LIKE, babygirl i desire you carnally
#10th anniversary of Gotham and David with a psychology+economics combo masters is ON THE FUCKING LOOSE#and goddd i'm living for it i live for everything he has to offer because HE'S RIGHT#y'all out there hailing lukewarm milquetoast media as ''something to hate forever and ever“ lol. lmao even#but also I'M ALWAYS SAYING THIS I'LL NEVER STOP SAYING THIS. every Batman non-comic media trying to go way out there and reinvent the wheel#Gotham did it first. And if they took an inspiration they did it better. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's a horrible show#AND Gotham was better at being a horrible show. They knew how to fail well.#but also David putting Batjokes in fullthrottle like yes baby we know. WE KNOW. So glad to have you on the team though ❤️#I'm truly blessed to have witnessed two lovely assholes invent batjokes on live tv#need a compilation post with Cameron's ''i think it's love; i think Jeremiah loves him in his own twisted way'' interview#and David putting an ''Amen brother'' on a “Joker is his one true love'' comment#insane show insane cast what a time to be alive#today has already been a day and half and it's 11AM#head full so many thoughts brrrr#Gotham TV#wayleska
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train wasn't delayed more than usual AND i got a pretty girl's luggage off the train for her... 10/10 polish railway experience
#lmao there was this dude hovering behind me and her near the entrance as we waited for the train to stop#and as soon as i offered to take her things he was like 'i'll take it!'#didn't even dignify that with a response didn't even look in his direction :)#she wanted me to take the smaller one she was like 'the other one is so heavy :( '#context: she was shorter than me and Very slim#i was like nah i'll take it!#reader. i think she had a body in there <3#anyway really regret leaving her at the station with just a smile and not asking if he wanted further help#but frankly i wanted to get home and pee ajffhh#also regret not giving her a wink but that surely would have been an overkill......#also i always worry how that comes across when you're total strangers :/#anyway it was a rolling suitcase so hopefully she made it out alright and called a taxi or sth#all of this to say. Why is flirting so easy when i don't mean anything by it dear god.......#soon as i like someone it's like 😐 five minutes of silence. low chuckle. 😐 'i think the weather forecast said it might. rain today. 😐.'#another reason why i'm staying single forever thank you .
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This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.
Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.
The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."
She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.
With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.
Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.
She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!
Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?
She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.
Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.
Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.
Or her lover will.
I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.
#dragon age origins#dao#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#dao tabris#warden tabris#i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious#the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike#i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too#playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development#and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual#and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again#i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc#oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop#even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren*#but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws#and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance#while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris#in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe#and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough#to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D:#and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible*#i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time#excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay#also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden#so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case#i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read
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