#I'll restart the thing and get back to where I was it's fine but man it stung
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hey just wanted to say I hope you're doing ok, I haven't seen your gay dogs in a while and I miss them and you 💛 obv you don't have to post if you're not feeling it, but just know that someone in another country is thinking nice things at you
Aaa thank you! It genuinely warms my heart to hear that you still occasionally think of me even though I've been laying low for a while now.
I'm doing a little bit better now compared to last month, there's been some positive progress, but still struggling with a lot of fundamental daily things.
Thank you for checking up on me, I appreciate it. I hope you have a nice weekend ´v`
#it's extremely disappointing how far downhill my health has tumbled#just because of a couple of particularly unlucky and stressful months#I'm trying but everything feels bad and wrong#answered#qthewhatever#I was working on a piece just earlier today and saving diligently every few minutes and feeling really excited about it#but this time the random shutdown corrupted the file#and I lost about two and a half hours of progress#I'll restart the thing and get back to where I was it's fine but man it stung
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I'M BACK BABY
The amount of time I restarted this fic is insane. It was going to be Isaac, realized Faust fit better, but Isaac deserves smut but he'd be so ooc. So here we are with Faust, it's still a little ooc but you can deal.
Anyway. It's a modern au. I don't wanna give away the plot twist but the ending is funny. Trust me
You lay in bed, swiping on your phone. Swiping left on guy after guy after guy. Why is there no one cute in your area? Where did they all go for summer break?
You finally get to a guy that makes you stop. You look through his pictures. Wow he's hot. A little older than you but you're looking for a hook up, so what does that matter. You barely think twice about swiping right. You don't match immediately and so you swipe through some more guys before eventually falling asleep.
The next morning when you wake up, you start going through your notifications. Most of them are unimportant and clear them. You see that you have a match and a message.
You open it to see that it's the guy you liked last night. Johann. He sent you a message, you're sure it's some cheesy pick up line and you aren't wrong.
'That outfit of yours is cute, but it would be much better on my floor.'
You can't help but chuckle a little. It might be early but you're okay with starting the day with some flirting.
'You'd look much better on me instead.'
You continue to go through your phone, seeing what you missed before you get out of bed and start going about your day.
It was a few hours later before you got a reply. You honestly weren't expecting anything in return. Most guys want something that night and by morning are over it and unmatched.
But instead you got a message.
'I know something else of mine that would look good on you~'
You think for a moment before figuring out what to send back.
'Your lips can go where they want. But I think your hands would make a pretty necklace'
Then the messages come faster and by late afternoon you are doing nothing but flirting with each other.
'Why don't you come over tonight so we can actually have some fun~'
You pause. Do you really want to go straight to his house? You know nothing about him. You can't even say you've talked to him for a day, you've just been flirting. Would that be safe?
That's what you would be thinking if the two of you didn't start exchanging nudes an hour ago. Seeing his erect cock got you feeling a type of way. A good type of way.
Damn you're so needy. You've been lonely for just a little too long to think of any consequences and agree to his offer. You couldn't have him come to your place. It's small.. and a disaster. You clearly look like a broke college student.
You look up the address he sent you to see what the area looked like. It seemed nice. It was a nice house, and pretty close to you.
'I'll be over soon~'
You change your clothes into something nicer looking and head over.
It didn't take long for you to be knocking on his front door. You are standing on the porch a little nervous. Hook ups are nothing new to you, but you really hope he's as hot as he is in his photos.
The door opens and a tall man opens the door. That's him alright. Wow he's hotter in real life.
"...damn you're hot."
"I could say the same thing about you," he pulls you inside, closing the door behind you. You can't believe you said that out loud.
"Did you find the place alright?" he already has an arm around you.
"Yeah," you slip your shoes off, immediately shrinking a few inches. You look back up at him. Damn. How is he hotter now that your shorter?
With your head up he kisses you. You came for a reason, and it wasn't to necessarily get to know each other. Maybe each other's bodies, but if you don't learn a thing about the other by the end of the night that's fine.
You kiss him back, which only causes him to kiss you harder. You moan and turn your body to face him. As your hands went up his shirt to feel him, his hands went behind you to grab your ass.
Encouraging him, you press your body against him. In a swift motion he picks you up, keeping a firm grip on your ass. Your arms move to hold onto him by his shoulders while your legs wrap around his waist.
As he carries you to his bedroom, you take the opportunity to try to get some moans out of him by kissing his neck.
Just as he started to moan for you he drops you on his bed, immediately taking his shirt off.
"Is there anything I shouldn't do to you?" He tossed his shirt to the side
You almost don't hear him. How did you luck out with a guy so hot. Since you don't answer he leans down, grabbing your jaw to make you look at him.
"If you don't answer I'll just use you how I like."
You feel your cheeks flush. Oh god. That's a dream. But maybe you shouldn't agree to that since you have just met him.
"Make me your personal fuck toy."
Definitely not what you should have said.
He smirks and lets you go. "That's what I like to hear."
You quickly start taking your shirt off. Once it's over your head he pushes you onto your back and starts to yank your pants down to your ankles. You move further back onto the bed and slip out of your underwear.
As you are taking your bra off you hear his belt being undone. Something about that sound gets you excited. With your bra to the side he gets on top of you, grabbing your hands so that he can tie your wrists together with his belt.
He does it so quickly that you swear he does this all the time. He sets his glasses to the side before going further down on the bed, almost laying down.
As your legs are being spread open you look down, seeing his face between your thighs. With your legs over his shoulders, you get a good glimpse of his bright green eyes before you shut yours with a gasp.
His tongue slid its way into you. You were already wet with anticipation but now you are leaking into your tongue. He's treating you as a meal, lapping you up and getting his tongue as deep in you as he possibly can.
It isn't long before you're squirming. His hands grip your hips tightly, keeping you down on the bed. He nibbles you a bit, teasing you with teeth. Feeling you jump only causes him to do it again. Your thighs try to close, as if you want him to stop, but you really don't want it to end.
Letting go with one hand, he starts to rub your clit, going in circles.
"Ahh-hh no!" You moan louder and squirm in a way that it seems like you are trying to roll over. Once he starts rubbing you, it doesn't take much to cover his tongue in your cum.
You try to look down at him, to catch a glimpse of his eyes. When you make contact with his, he looks like he's going to go feral. This is what you wanted after all.
"If you're going to be my fuck toy, let's flip you over."
He doesn't give you the option to roll over yourself. He sat up, grabbed you, and flipped you himself. You could help but moan. He even moved you so that your ass was in the air.
His hands grabbed your ass and rubbed it roughly, getting you to moan again. You could feel his hard tip pressed against you and whined. You've been waiting for this all day and now he's right there. You try to move back to get him to slip inside.
He chuckles. "Well I'd you're that eager."
He smirks and pushes his whole length inside you. He was going to ease himself in, but since you're so impatient.
"Ahh-!"
You bury your face into the bed and pull at your restraints.
"Don't be shy now."
He reaches up, grabbing a fist full of your hair and pulling it back.
"I want to hear what kinds of noises my new toy makes."
His voice is in a low growl, though your moans it can be hard to hear but each word gets you wetter.
His hips pull back before snapping back into you, getting you to yelp.
"Good girl," he praises you as he starts to thrust into you at a regular pace, making sure his full length enters you. "You're so tight and yet you can fit all of me," he pulls your hair more to hear you yell.
You try to prop yourself up on your tied up hands as he pulls your hair more and more.
"And you just keep getting wetter," he teased, his cock being able to slide in and out of you faster.
He doesn't seem to hold back with how hard he thrusts into you. One hand isn't enough to keep your hips in place and your legs start slipping.
Faust lets your hair go, making you fall forward. Without losing momentum, he fixes your hips and presses down on your upper back, forcing your face into the bed.
Your hair is in your face, your hot breath hitting you back. Your body is squirming again. With your hips at a new angle his cock is hitting a new spot, getting you to cum again nearly immediately.
"You're a perfect toy," he grunts a little, still going despite you tightening around him. "You take me with no complaints," he pushes you down harder as he pounds into you rougher.
"Ungh-ahhh! F-fuck!" You pant, barely able to get out words.
He feels himself starting to get closer, but he stays in you for as long as he can. His thrusts are getting out of rhythm. Finally he pulls out of you, making a trail of cum down your back.
He tries to catch his breath for a moment before helping you lay your body flat on his bed so that he can grab something to clean you up.
As he steps away you try to push your hair out of your face. In a few moments your back is cleaned, your hands are freed, and you're laying there with your head on his chest.
~~
For the rest of the summer your hook ups became nearly a regular thing. You don't plan on keeping it once the summer ends so you don't end up getting to know each other much. You're there for a hook up, no strings attached.
Or so you thought.
Your college classes start again. It's the first week of the semester and you're looking over your schedule.
"Ugh. My schedule is awful. I already can't wait for this to be over."
You head to your next class. It's a lecture hall. You already know it's going to be one you're going to fall asleep in.
You walk into the class and look for a place to sit when you look at the front to get a look at the teacher.
Shit. No. He can't possibly be the teacher.
"Johann?"
Faust looks up from the papers he's looking at to see who called his name and makes eye contact with you.
"Shit."
~~~
@kissmetwicekissmedeadly @fang-and-feather @xalxtusxiao @namine-somebodies-nobody @ana-thedaydreamer @evil-quartett @ameyoruakiikemenseries @yrenesposts @tele86 @damekathearasi @lokis-laugh @candied-boys @breadmercury @aquagirl1978 @xenokiryu @nightghoul381 @vampiricpancake @lulu-the-smol-floof @tako-cafe @floydsteeth
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nct dream as yearning songs
a/n! This is for funzies only! I don’t know any of them personally so I’m only comparing and linking their behavior shown through videos with the behavior of those I know in real life (me included). And also, If you haven’t listened to any of these songs, PLEASE give them a listen bc I feel like it’ll help you guys better understand my vision :)
Mark - End Of Beginning, Djo
Just one more tear to cry, one teardrop from my eye
You better save it for
The middle of the night when things aren't black and white
Enter, Troubadour
"Remember 24?"
Mark’s always talking about finally beginning a project whenever he’s with the dreamies, so I always get reminded of this song (that’s not the only reason tho) once the “is it really starting this time?” teasing commences — even though it might pass as a “funny” quirk, the need to establish out loud that they are “restarting” or finally starting things as if from scratch, might be because of something deeper. Mark seems like the kind of guy who works hard and reminisces about his past, especially when it comes to where it all (ironically) started. He works so hard and is almost never relaxing or taking a vacation, he says he’s fine, but since I'm a workaholic as well, I can tell you guys that we always end up breaking down because of how much stuff we’re doing. So, in those overwhelming moments, I can imagine Mark looking back to when he was in Canada, being able to rest and take in all the small pleasures the world can offer, not having to worry about his image, his feelings, his needs or if he’s “korean enough” to be working as an idol (idk about you guys, but that distinction between being a pure korean vs a mixed korean would drive me insane. I’d be so upset to always have to prove myself and prove that part of my nationality), reminiscing about the times when he was full of dreams, peace, and most importantly, energy.
You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man
Renjun - Abstract (Psychopomp), Hozier
See how it shines
Renjun is a very simple and honest man; he knows what he likes, what he doesn’t and knows how to set up his boundaries. However, he’s really sensible when it comes to life (in ALL its meanings), which is why I’m reminded of this song whenever I think of him. I’m grateful for all the things Renjun has shared with us, such as his mental health, hobbies and just his personality in general. Abstract is a song that shows how much its “subject” is sensible, brave (for jumping into traffic in order to rescue the dying/already dead animal) and never seems to catch a break, while the one singing (in this case, Hozier) can only take in the sight, not being able to do anything to help. In this analogy, Renjun is the subject and his friends/family/fans are Hozier, y’all. I feel like he strives to protect those he loves, and yearns for their well being when he can’t do anything to help.
(it was tough to choose just a small part of the song, when in fact, in my opinion, the whole thing describes him so well)
The speed that you moved
The screech of the cars
The creature still moving
That slowed in your arms
The fear in its eyes
Gone out in an instant
Your tear caught the light
The Earth from a distance
Jeno - Yes To Heaven, Lana Del Rey
If you go, I'll stay
You come back, I'll be right here
Like a barge at sea
In the storm, I stay clear
We’ve got ourselves a lover boy! No surprises there, I think. Even though this song comes from a female point of view, I think it still describes Jeno really well. Getting back on track, I feel like this suits him given the fact that when he likes someone, he likes someone — if he feels strongly like that, it’s even more intense when it comes to his loved ones, hence the song. Jeno would do anything in the world for his partner, and that includes fighting for them, to keep them by his side even if things get incredibly tough.
His reason to yearn would be his person, before he even managed to win them over. Jeno would yearn for a life next to his loved one, for their acceptance and approval of him — nothing would make him happier than hearing a yes from his lover.
Say yes to Heaven
Say yes to me
Haechan - Gilded Lily, Cults
Now it's been long enough to talk about it
I've started not to doubt it, just wrap my head around it
I remember when you told me it's an everyday decision
But with my double vision, how was I supposed to see the way?
This boy is one of the most hard-working human beings on earth, methinks. Because he’s always giving, exposing and donating parts of himself to the world, not gaining anything back… The amount of hate and fake news he gets thrown at him is insane, being the reason why I always think of him when listening to this song. He has the biggest heart ever, and he pays the price for it every single day of his life. Haechan’s personality is bright and it should shine as much as it needs to, he might look overly confident but I wouldn’t doubt that in fact, he’s totally insecure about himself and about his skills, lost in the world yearning for appreciation. Gilded Lily suits him so much it actually pains me to make this connection anywhere other than my brain.
His hard work isn’t half as repaid as it should be. Some “fans” should be embarrassed to call themselves such when the first thing they do is to attack Hae.
Haven't I given enough, given enough?
Always the fool with the slowest heart
But I know you'll take me with you
We'll live in spaces between walls
Jaemin - Chemtrails Over The Country Club, Lana Del Rey
I'm on the run with you, my sweet love
There's nothing wrong contemplating God
Under the chemtrails over the country club
In another life, I believe that Jaemin could’ve been living peacefully in a suburb, white picket fences and all. This song is filled with nostalgia and the wish to run away with your loved one, which painfully reminds me of Jaemin. He’s the perfect man, the perfect gentleman even, so that’d make his partner want to elope with him. However, this image of him resides only in my (and now, your) imagination — that’s why I chose this song for him. Whenever I take in anything that Jaemin does, I can help but think about how I’d feel in his shoes: he had the plan to become a doctor, did charity work, played the piano, got good grades and was handsome. Having such high standards and some fondness towards the academic way of life, would I be 100% satisfied living an idol life? The answer is no, ergo my need to choose this song for him. If my hunch about Jaem is correct, he’d be yearning for the possibilities of having another life, especially when it comes to love. From what he has shown us, he wouldn’t be the type to voluntarily want to hide his loved one — I feel like he’d want to boast to the world about them.
I interpret this song as a life the singer would like to have had with their loved one, but couldn’t since the opportunity passed, and is now cursed to live forever with their “what ifs”.
My love, my love
Washing my hair, doing the laundry
Late night TV, I want you on me
Like when we were kids
Under chemtrails and country clubs
It's never too late, baby, so don't give up
Chenle - loml, Taylor Swift
If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary
You and I go from one kiss to gettin’ married
Still alive killing time at the cemetery
Never quite buried
In your suit and tie, in the nick of time
You lowdown boy, you standup guy
You Holy Ghost, you told me I'm
The love of your life
I apologize in advance to all you Chenle stans out there for bringing this up, but… IT NEEDS TO BE SAID. He fits this song so much it’s actually insane. He doesn’t have many regrets in his life (as said by the man himself), so in a world in which he’d yearn, it’d definitely be because of love, hence why his song is loml. Chenle wouldn’t be able to get over his first love, leading to countless daydreaming sessions and longing sighs. He’d reminisce about his time with the person, over analyzing everything that was said and done, remembering even the smallest things the other person said he didn’t care about. Losing something makes you realize what that thing really meant, thus creating the eternal heartache of knowing that you took it for granted — despite all the fights and wrong-doings, Chenle would never be able to forgive himself for losing the person he loved.
His first love would stay with him forever, but as time goes by, they’d be only a soft memory instead of a lingering sadness.
Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire
Your arson's match, your somber eyes
And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life
Jisung - Brother, Kodaline
If I was dying on my knees
You would be the one to rescue me
And if you were drowned at sea I
'd give you my lungs so you could breathe
If there’s one quality I’d use to describe Jisung, It’d be loyalty. He’s extremely loyal towards his hyungs, and that’s why I chose this song for him. Once the dreamies weren’t a fixed unit, Jisung shared his fear of being alone, and without his older brothers by his side, he knew not of what the future had in store for him. Hence why the lyrics (this one in particular: When we were young, we were the ones // The kings and queens, oh yeah we ruled the world) and just the “desperate” vibes of the song scream Park Jisung. He loves the dreamies so much that losing them would be as devastating as losing one of his family members. We don’t get to see the clingy and soft side of Jisung as much as the boys do, but just because we as fans don’t experience it, doesn’t mean that they can’t feel it.
There’s just not much to say besides that he loves his members to the point of sacrificing himself for them.
I’ve got you brother
The whole group - Home, Edith Whiskers ver.
We laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night
Nothing new is sweeter than with you
I couldn’t do something like this without mentioning the dark period of when Mark was removed from the unit (sorry in advance <3), so here it is! Home would be their song from when they missed Mark, and kept reminiscing about their debut and previous comeback when their leader and older brother was still there with them. The song might come from a romantic point of view, but it’s just as fitting for a friend group, therefore making it perfect to describe the dreamie’s situation.
Losing someone important is awful, especially when that person is “removed” from your day-to-day life thanks to other people’s choices — it isn’t fair, and I’m sure the boys felt this way for a long period of time until they could shine again with Mark by their side. They’ve never been better and nct dream is now on the way to become even more powerful than before, and for that I’m incredibly proud of the children they were, who maintained themselves strong and brave throughout a heartbreaking moment. The dreamies deserve the best and my heart is at ease to see that their recognition is finally arriving. They are my home, and I’m sure they are your home as well :)
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
#nct dream#nct dream drabbles#nct dream imagines#nct dream fic#nct dream fanfic#nct fic#nct imagines#mark lee#lee haechan#park jisung#na jaemin#lee jeno#huang renjun#zhong chenle#chenle drabbles#renjun drabble#chenle imagines#renjun imagines#mark drabbles#mark imagines#haechan drabbles#haechan imagines#jisung drabbles#jisung imagines#jeno drabbles#jeno imagines#jaemin drabbles#jaemin imagines#dreamies
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[Booting up Razberry's_Project.exe][Welcome back P00t3r]
[Raz] Why did I ever think that letting Gisu name this program AND my login for it was a good idea? Ah, to be young and easily trusting again ... (Chuckles) Man, it's kinda weird setting this thing up again. It's been ...years. I wonder if the regulars from back then are gonna notice?
[Milla] Razputin, where are - ah, there you are, querido. What are you doing?
[Raz] Felt a bit nostalgic and decided to boot up this old thing again.
[Milla] (Pauses for a bit) (Lets out an agreeable hum) Yes, Sasha, I'll tell him. Darling, this better not get in the way of your work.
[Raz] It won't, mom. It's just ...a bit of casual leisure activity.
[Milla] And clean your room. How many times do I need to ask? It better be clean by tonight, or else you're not getting your dessert after dinner.
[Raz] (Hearty chuckle) Mom, that won't work on me anymore. I'm 17, I'm not a kid anymore.
[Milla] That still doesn't make you an adult and you're still living under our roof. (Claps hands) Hup-hup, on with it.
[Raz] You know I'm an Agent too, right? They need me at HQ today. And the Grand Head already warned me about being late this week. I don't need another lecture.
[Milla] And as a Senior Agent, they'll gladly accept my reason for you being late.
[Raz] (Opens mouth)
[Milla] (Teasingly) I could also ground you. (Smirks) Try me, darling.
[Raz] (Sighs) Fine. (Grins and snaps his fingers)
(Bed starts making itself. Comic books fly over to their shelves. Laundry folds itself up and flings themselves into the closet. Papers tidy themselves.)
[Raz] (Dusts off hands.) There, done.
[Milla] (Giggles) Show-off. Okay, let's go.
[Raz] One more thing. (Grabs his goggles of the nightstand) Need to look my best when I'm out saving the world.
[Milla] (Giggles) Never change, my sweet boy.
Yes, you've read it right. I'm restarting the ask-blog, with some little changes.
I'm gonna be honest, I missed doing this, but a minor ulterior motive behind this move is trying to get "Tides of war" a bit of a public boost. The response to the story has been ...not what I hoped it would be, so I guessed "if this blog worked for "The lives and times of Razputin Vodello", there's no harm in seeing if the same results will occur, right?
New blog, new possibilities, new URL, new avatar, new rules.
The timeline for the 'new' blog is set several months to a year before the first chapter of "Tides of War", and it will always will be. Unlike with "The Lives and times", the timeline of this blog isn't as parallel with the story. questions regarding events about the story will be answered by myself, the AUthor.
We're dealing with an older, more experienced, (considering himself to be) much wiser Razputin Vodello. Raz has been a full-time agent for some time now and is quite the rising star.
The future has arrived. New relationships. New enemies. New shenanigans. New asks. New answers.
Ask Box is open.
It's good to be back.
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ep five; basics
"hey, you ready?" yae asks as she leans on your door frame, her outfit a simple shirt and skirt paired with a jacket and high top shoes. "heizou's already ready as well, just waiting on you." truth be told you've been ready for a bit now, it's just..
"sorry," you scratch the back of your head, an uneasy feeling settling itself in your stomach. "i just feel kind of.. wrong?"
yae doesn't say anything but gives a reassuring smile. you're not sure if it helps or not but you can't just not go to the very first council meeting purely because you feel uneasy. that'll give a bad impression to the others! sucking it up, you quickly grab your phone and place it in your pocket as you walk out of your room.
"anyway i that's the reason why i think i deserve another tanuki plus-" "no." heizou whines but his mood is quickly switched as he walks a bit faster, holding the door open for you and yae. "hey, you good?" he asks.
"i'm fine," you reassure him, a small smile on your face. "look, they're there!" yae smiles and waves at childe, noticing his obnoxiously orange hair.
"so now that everyone's here, i think we should start yeah?" you try and pay attention to him, you try your best to pay attention to the president but your eyes can't help and wander to the shorter male next to him. he doesn't look up, his eyes glued on his phone. 'what's he doing.?'
"sorry- i'm just gonna use the restroom.."
you quickly stutter and speed walk away, attracting the glare of the man in indigo.
you panic as you pace around in the restroom. you have to go back now, they might get upset! with a shudder you look at yourself in the mirror before going back to the table you're new council members were at.
smau in where scaramouche and reader are both the vice president and secretary of famous teyvat university! chaos ensues as they find it really hard to work with eachother,, will they be able to put their highschool past behind them? or will they never give a new chance to the person they once called their own?
prev | masterlist | next
notes; i wanna apologize for this short, written ep for taking so long. i've been struggling with things irl and it's been taking a toll on me. but i'll try my best to restart to my old, more better upload schedule! <3
#HATE TO LOVE YOU - 🪻#asher's works !!#scaramouche x reader#scara x reader#scaramouche x you#scara smau#genshin impact#genshin#genshin fanfic#scaramouche fanfic#scaramouche smau
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Untitled
This has been a strange week, A. I mean you know I have to talk to you today on my break at work (taking at least 2 today because it's sloooooow).
The Boy wrote his English 101 Dual Credit essay about you this week. He warned me.
"Mom, I have to write about 'an experience that made me appreciate life.' I'm gonna write about A dying. I really can't think of writing about anything else that won't come out sounding like bullshit. I still need you to look at it before I turn it in, because you're a writer and it makes me feel better when you say it's not shit, even though it comes with the Mom Discount. But I know it might like...upset you."
Of course I told him to write about you. I told him I wanted to read it (truth). I told him to actually print out a copy because I don't want it lost to the ethereal, nebulous world of online-only assignments; it's something my son made to honor my best friend. I want to save it forever. I want it immortalized (also truth). But it was fucking hard to read it. He took it hard when you died, and I knew he did before reading his school work (obviously), but Christ, how connected the two of you are. The locket J got me connects everyone in the center but you and the Boy are connected on a hinge side, and that locket pops open on that hinge at work all the time. So I'll look down and have to close it back up, and every time it's you and my son looking back at me. It's never you and my grandparents or J and my son, or J and my grandparents. It's always you and the Boy. You helped him so much. I want you to know that. He turned it in yesterday after titling it. 'Loss and Acceptance.' It's hard to title things. Especially when you write something important to you; something difficult to say; something attached to a lot of complex feelings. That's why my essay is untitled.
Then last night I sat on the couch with J and he cried watching a YouTube video of a BBC news capture of Jon Bon Jovi (right?) LITERALLY talking someone off a ledge in Nashville, Tennessee where he was shooting a music video. J cried. He leaves for his bike trip with W and the boys tomorrow morning. So this conversation happened:
Me: You ok? 🥺
J: 🥺😥 (hands over his phone with the video restarted; it was moving, but it didn't make ME cry)
Me: I'm lost. 🫤 I don't know what's getting to you this much. Text me? (J and I often text each other when our bodies are literally touching. Sometimes it's easier to not say it out loud).
J: (both of us are texting now) I dunno, peaches.
Me: Do you feel like...that? (that = suicidal) 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
J: No. Just got to me how many people walked on by.
Me: He didnt. ❤️🥹
J: Yeah. ❤️
Me: Is the stuff with your dad getting to you more than you're telling me? I don't want you to go off Saturday morning feeling so down. ❤️
J: I feel guilty about going. 🫤
Me: Why? Won't lie. I don't like it when you're away, but I want you to go see your friends. W. Fuck, I'd give everything I have except you and the Boy for a week with A right now.
J: That's kind of why. If I don't go, what if something happens to W before I get another chance to see him? Or me even? I'd feel like shit. So I have to go. But I'm leaving you and the Boy. And fucking G. That damn dog. Because what if something happens to one of us while I'm away? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.
Me: We're fine. I promise. We just like having you around. Go be with W because...damn I really would give anything to be with A. For even an HOUR.
J hugged me until we all left the living room for bed. We made love last night before we went to sleep. And I dreamed all night about you. That you weren't really dead (again). Everywhere I went, when J was away on this trip, you were with me. 'I can't believe we're at a sushi place right now,' you'd say. 'What the fuck am I supposed to eat here?! Boy used to be on my side. What happened to pizza, man? Your mother finally infected you with her adventurous eating...' I'd look around at family dinner at my parents' house without J and you'd be there. Literally saying, 'I'm still here.'
I fucking miss you so bad. J has never gone away without you being there to text me off my metaphorical ledges and now you're not. Now I'm left with a bunch of people who will just pass me by. I'm so fucking ragingly envious of J that he gets a week with his best friend while I'm so desperately missing mine. I know the dream is supposed to be that I DO get a week with my best friend. That it's somehow 'better' in a way because you'll be right next to me, even in places you'd never ever go with me alive, but I still don't want you to be dead. I'd trade this intangible constancy even at the sushi joint for sporadic texts and bad Pearl Jam jokes in a heartbeat. I'd trade no sushi ever for pizza once a year with you. I'd certainly trade a visit to the fucking cemetery every few weeks to seeing you in person one more time, period. I'd still rather all of this be fake and you're not really even dead, just orchestrating a supremely elaborate scheme to avoid me.
There's every supposed stage of grief in one essay. Except of course for acceptance. That's why I had the Boy print his out for me. I'll keep rereading it until it takes. That still might be never. 💔😭
Anyway, love you, you fucker. I'll see you Monday at your place. ❤️
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Astra vs the Polymorph #1 - A glimpse into the lives of class B-5!
DESCRIPTION: The crew's just chilling.
CHARACTERS: All of class B-5, polymorph
KEY WORDS: Comedy, survival "horror"
EXT. OUTER SPACE
A pod appears floating around in space. As it rotates, the pod reveals a hole on its surface, torn open by force.
SFX: Beep, beep…
NARRATOR: Danger. Do not attempt to open this pod. The creature inside is extremely hostile. It feeds off the human psyche, seeks out the deranged, the unbalanced and the emotionally crippled.
SFX: Beep, beep…
INT. DINING ROOM.
Aries, Quitterie, and Yun-Hua play a game of cards. They are playing Lucky 9, gambling with a collection of shiny pebbles and rocks they found on a previous planet. Aries, with the most pebbles, is the banker. Funicia spectates.
ARIES: Who wants another card?
QUITTERIE: No thanks. My cards are too good for this dang game. I'm gonna beat all of you.
YUN-HUA: Hey-! Isn't it us against Aries...?
QUITTERIE: Oh right, yeah. Whoops.
ARIES: Hm. Quitterie, if you wanna be the banker next round, I'll let you.
QUITTERIE: That's what I've been saying this whole time!
ARIES: Really?
QUITTERIE: OMG, yeah duh! How'd you not hear me?
ARIES: I mean, all your yapping sounds the same to me, tee-hee!
QUITTERIE: (Gasp!) O-M-G! You're so gonna pay for that!
ARIES: Alright! How about a deal? If the two of you beat me this round, you get to be banker.
YUN-HUA: 'Kay
QUITTERIE: What! That is so unfair!
ARIES: Ok! How about you Funi? Join us!
FUNICIA: Ok!
QUITTERIE: Um, let's not teach gambling to a fourth-grader.
ARIES: Aww, it's not like we're playing with real money so it's totally fine!
QUITTERIE: Alright, fine! But I'll add to the deal. (Smirks) If Funi beats all of us, I get to be the banker!
ARIES: (With mild sarcasm, except with her usual enthusiasm) Oh, you're not just getting Funi involved for your own gain, are you?
QUITTERIE: Alright, then Funi and I get to be bankers. How's that?!
ARIES: (Cheerfully) It's a deal! But we have to restart the round because Funi's with us now.
QUITTERIE: NOOO!
INT. KITCHEN
Luca sits on a kitchen counter while Ulgar, gun in hand, stands in front of him. Luca seems enthusiastic. In the background, Kanata does his cleaning duties.
ULGAR: Lesson one.
LUCA: Man, oh man, this is so exciting!
ULGAR: Shut up.
Ulgar holds out his hands as if he's about to clap.
ULGAR: Now hold your hands like that.
Luca holds up his hands.
ULGAR: Now clap.
Luca smiles doubtingly. He claps.
ULGAR: Faster.
Luca claps again, faster.
ULGAR: Now as fast as you can.
Luca hesitates then claps again with extra strength. But, before his hands could meet, Ulgar pulls his gun between them. Luca exclaims with astonishment.
ULGAR: Now you try.
Ulgar puts out his hands and starts clapping at random intervals. Luca stares confusedly.
LUCA: Hey what the hell! I don't know when you go!
Ulgar smirks.
ULGAR: That's just real life.
LUCA: C'mon man, I thought I asked you to teach me to shoot, not play red hands or something.
ULGAR: This is... serious. It's reflexes.
LUCA: Damn, you didn't even have this whole thing planned. Boo!
ULGAR: Reflexes are important!
LUCA: Yeah, whatever! ...Unless, this is just some excuse to spend some nice recreational time with your best friend. That's oddly sweet of you, Ulgar!
Ulgar's face turns slightly red.
ULGAR: Shut up! I'm teaching you to shoot.
LUCA: Then teach me to shoot, man! Where d'you get these lesson ideas from?
Ulgar doesn't say anything.
LUCA: ... So?
ULGAR: ...Ugh. Forget it.
Kanata looks back from wiping the stovetop.
KANATA: No way! Ulgar, you're referencing a cowboy movie!
ULGAR: Shut up.
KANATA: Oh dude! I got some cool old westerns stored in a drive somewhere. We totally gotta watch them sometime!
ULGAR: Shut up!
LUCA: (To Kanata) Yeah, get back to cleaning!
KANATA: BRO! You guys are supposed to be helping us, too! You got time to lean, you got time to clean - now let's go boys!
He continues wiping the counter.
ULGAR: Hmph.
LUCA: "Us"? I thought you were doing everything yourself.
KANATA: Damn it, where's Charce?! Mr Perfect pretty-boy better not be checking out his reflection or somethin'
Charce carries a pile of dishes over to the sink.
CHARCE: What?
KANATA: Oh good! Thanks so much for the help!
INT. DINING ROOM
Aries, Qitterie, Yun-hua and Funicia continue playing Lucky 9.
ARIES: Uh-oh you guys~ My cards are looking kinda good!
QUITTERIE: I got crap cards... Gimme another card please!
YUN-HUA: Ohh... I would like another card too, please.
Aries tosses Yun-Hua and Quitterie a card each. Quitterie squints in disappointment. So does Yun-Hua.
FUNICIA: I'm happy with mine!
QUITTERIE: Are you sure you know what you're doing?
FUNICIA: Yup! I've seen you guys play so I'm sure I know enough
ARIES: Ok! Three, two, one, REVEAL!
Everyone tosses her cards on the table. Quitterie and Yun-Hua more shamefully than the rest.
QUITTERIE: Seven.
YUN-HUA: Ten...
ARIES: Six!
QUITTERIE: Hold on, did you say six? WHAAAAT!!!
ARIES: HA-AH-AH-Ah-AH-AH-AH-AH!!!
Quitterie shakes Yun-hua's shoulder with defeat and desparation.
QUITTERIE: GIIIRRRLLL! We cou'dve beaten Aries if you didn't ask for that other card!
YUN-HUA: Oh, I'm sorry! She just looked so confident, I wasn't so sure if I should've gambled or not...
ARIES: This is a bluffing game, silly!
YUN-HUA: Aw...
QUITTERIE: Funi! How about you?
FUNICIA: Mine add up to twelve.
We see Quitterie on the floor, defeated. She sighs massively.
QUITTERIE: ...Yun-Hua, this is all your fault, so as a consequense, you gotta tell us a secret!
YUN-HUA: U-uh...
Quitterie sits up.
QUITTERIE: I'll make it easier for you! How about... Tell us something totally embarrassing you did when you were 13.
YUN-HUA: Oh gosh...
Aries, Quitterie, and even Funicia smile at Yun-Hua eagerly.
YUN-HUA: Oh… Ok…! Um…
She pauses for a moment. Suddenly…
YUN-HUA: Oh, I need to go to the bathroom…!
ARIES: Aww, what?
QUITTERIE: Nice excuse, girl! C’mon, let us hear it!
YUN-HUA: No, I’m serious!
QUITTERIE: You’re trying to avoid answering, aren’t you?
YUN-HUA: I promise, I’m not trying to avoid anything! I’ll be right back.
ARIES: Really?
YUN-HIA: No, really!
QUITTERIE: Okay~
YUN-HUA: Besides…! I can’t think of anything right now, but maybe when I come back I’ll give you something good. Really! Okay?
QUITTERIE: Hah… Whatever you say. We’ll be waiting!
INT. CORIDOOR.
Zack, walks down the hallway. He notices Kanata. Over to Kanata, we see him dust off his pants.
KANATA: Whew! That was fun! (pause) Huh? Hey Zack!
ZACK: Kanata, I need to talk to you in private.
KANATA: ‘K!
INT. ZACK'S ROOM
Zack leads Kanata inside.
KANATA: So! Wussup?
ZACK: There appears to be a non-human life form aboard this ship.
KANATA: What?
ZACK: Our ship has been invaded by an alien.
KANATA: I know that but… What does it mean?
ZACK: I don’t know. However, it could be hostile so we must be alert.
KANATA: Alright! I’ll keep my eyes peeled from now on!
ZACK: Good. And so will I!
KANATA: We gotta let the others know. At a good time. When d’you think?
ZACK: Hm… Let’s see… In ten minutes from now, it should be-
A quiet, tense conversation can be heard from another room alerts Kanata and Zack.
??? (from another room): So you didn’t know I even came on this trip?
YUN-HUA (from another room): I’m s-sorry! I didn’t mean–
??? : Enough. I don’t want to hear another measly excuse from you.
KANATA: What n’ the… Someone’s talking down Yun-Hua…!
ZACK: But who?
YUN-HUA: (To ???) Oh… I’m really sorry!
KANATA: He doesn’t sound like anyone here. How…?
ZACK: I don’t know… Unless…
???: (to Yun-Hua) Stop apologising. Is this really how guilty you feel?
YUN-HUA: Y-yes…
ZACK: That is the alien…!
???: (To Yun-Hua) Just how guilty do you feel?
KANATA: Then we have to hurry! Let’s go!
YUN-HUA: (To ???) Awfully, awfully guilty…!
Kanata and Zack run in the direction of Yun-Hua’s voice.
???: (To Yun-Hua) INDEED, YOU DO!
Cut to: Kanata and Zack arrive at the scene. Yun Hua lies unconscious on the floor.
TO BE CONTINUED...
#Astra Lost in Space#Kanata No Astra#Fanfiction#Chocco's Writing#Kanata Hoshijima#Zack Walker#Charce Lacroix#Yun-hua Lu#Quitterie Raffaeli#Funicia Raffaeli#Aries Spring#Luca Esposito#Ulgar Zweig#Polymorph (Red Dwarf)
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✧ ATEEZ: DON’T STOP MV - a character analysis
watch here!!
this is inspired by mitch's video on the mv! please go and watch it, it's an amazing lore and story breakdown / analysis!
if there's one thing i can talk about for hours, it's ateez lore. i can talk about every ateez timeline for DAYS, mainly because i just absolutely adore their music videos' ways of telling a story. from the 'say my name' music video to 'guerilla' music video, ateez has, in my opinion, some of the most interesting lore in kpop. one music video that has really been stuck in the back of my mind pretty much since it came out, however, is the 'don't stop' mv, mainly due to the member's roles in the music video. whilst i, like many other people, don't believe that it is part of any of the overarching timeline lore, i still appreciate the storytelling that the music video holds (nevertheless, hongjoong stated in the group's music video reaction that 'a lot of the fans were guessing how the storyline connects to ateez, but more than that you should know our variety show universe? i think you should see how it connects to that. i think it would be easier to understand,' and san agreed, stating that it would be 'more fun' for atiny to theorise and connect the music video back to their space pirates lore, aka the 'universe timeline', but i'm getting off topic from the points i want to make. i'll happily talk about the universe lore another time!). the music video concept is as follows: a group of pirates, lead by hongjoong, loses everything they have - their ship, their tools - and must restart their journey from scratch, or at least that's the concept in a nutshell. i really recommend watching the music video for yourself to fully grasp the storyline and the character tropes that i'm going to be talking about here.
all that being said, the 'don't stop' mv has some of my favourite character architypes in a kpop music video: the bank heist trope is used so well to tell a clear and enticing story, and it leaves you wanting more of this storyline and this version of ateez as a whole.
to understand the characters, we first need to understand the groups / units that they're in, where they are and what they're doing. seonghwa, yunho, yeosang and jongho are together, robbing the central pawn shop and working together as a team. hongjoong is alone, not participating in the heist, and is instead in what seems to be an apartment or a mansion, a fancy and expensive one if that. san and wooyoung are seen gambling with what we can assume is a mob boss (i could talk about the lore here, but i won't because i'm here to talk about the characters, not the plot), often going all in (the same clip was used twice for san going all in, but again this is irrelevant and me rambling), which keep this in mind as we'll talk about this later. finally, mingi is alone; he's dumped out of a car in the middle of nowhere before walking away from the car as it blows up behind him (this has to be my favourite shot in the entire music video. it's such a stunning shot, literally gives me goosebumps every time, plus mingi looks SO FINE). okay, now FINALLY we can get into the character analysis.
firstly lets start with the pawn shop boys...
seonghwa is the right hand man, specifically hongjoong's right hand man. this is pretty common in ateez music videos (eg. 'the real' mv, which i'll analyse soon), so it's a pretty unsurprising that he's taken this role. he's casual because he knows that he's only here to overlook. after yunho finds the certificate at 2:09, he checks in with seonghwa despite it clearly being what they're there for. he only follows hongjoong, and has a huge sense of respect and loyalty for him, as can be seen at the end of the music video when he's the only member to approach hongjoong after they reunite.
yunho is the driver, in charge of transport and mobility. specifically, he's in charge of the car, and perhaps previously the ship, which may be why he's the member who picks up the certificate of registration of the destiny ship, or i'm looking to far into this. he's the member who drives literally through a wall to save san and wooyoung, and clearly knows what he's doing as he somehow doesn't hit them too. plus, yunho is seen driving A LOT in other ateez mvs, which, again, may just be a coincidence or may be me just looking too far into this.
yeosang is the thief. he's quick, efficient and seems to almost lead the group. he knows what he's doing, and has clearly done all this before; this can be seen by the organised way that he's pulling out the books to find the vault, especially compared to seonghwa. he's also the one opening the vault, showing that he has the skills and the tools to complete the job. also, similarly to jongho, he's wearing full black, but is wearing a gem-covered leather jacket, further suggesting this thief role.
jongho, unsuprisingly, is the strongman, the muscle, the bouncer. this is insinuated in everything about him: from his actions, to his colour scheme, to even simply the way that he's dressed. this is shown even from his first moment in the music video, where he crowbars open a locked door to let the group into the shop. he figuratively protects the group, which can be seen on 3:09 of the music video, where he is stood in front of the group, literally standing between them and possible danger (hongjoong). he's dark, stoic even, wearing simply only black compared to the other muted colours worn by the other members.
next, we'll cover everybody else...
san and wooyoung are probably my favourite characters in the mv. together, they fit a trope that are essential to any heist: the manipulators, the cheaters, the conmen. they're charming and sly, manipulating their way into any situation; in this case, a poker game with who we can assume is a mob boss or powerful criminal and clearly being cunning enough to let him bet the spyglass into the game. they're also seen cheating their way through the game, with wooyoung passing san the winning card. they go all in more than once because they know that whether it's through chance or a little manipulation of the game, they will win no matter what. just the way that they silently communicate and manipulate their way through the game is mesmerising and hypnotic. what's more, their clothing is much less formal than the other members, confirming their casual and perhaps even cocky nature, two traits held by grifters. finally, simply put, at the end of the day they're pirates. and what do pirates do? steal treasure.
mingi is the most interesting character to me: he's shown as unstable, being the only character alone in a dangerous situation, yet he makes it out alive, but not without chaos. he's shown to be beaten up and hurt, but he doesn't really seem to care that much. he's portrayed as the demolitions expert, yet bombs are risky in heists, but he seems unphased by that, choosing a short term solution rather than practicality. he knows what he's there for, and he doesn't care what he needs to do to get it.
finally, hongjoong is the mastermind. the leader. the captain. the captain goes down with his ship, and as shown with his black eye, he at least didn't go down without a fight. he is, understandably, feeling the pressure and the loss more than anyone else. he's angry, setting the room ablaze and shattering the model ship (which again, him being the captain, portrays his sense of loss and feeling of pure rage) and injuring his eye as a result (hongjoong says in the making film that 'he lost his eye because he couldn't control his rage'. covered eyes is a pretty big symbol in the ateez main storyline, so it's pretty cool to see this homage and reference to it in a smaller storyline). he's lost the trust and respect of his members, his crew, as can be seen in the distance between them at 3:09, however he eventually realises that he can't let his pride get in the way of his crew's future.
'don't stop' is rich in character and storytelling for just a four minute long music video. the story itself is full and clear, and the characters are in-depth and almost addictive, leaving you wanting more of this group of pirate thieves. the song itself is catchy and clearly in the classic ateez style, which makes the music video just such a blast to watch. if you've read to the end of this huge infodump of an essay, thank you! i bet nobody really has, but it was a lot of fun to write anyways!! please expect more music video analysis in the future!!
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You folks have no idea how many tries and restarts this took oh my god
Gonna post some additional thoughts under the cut
I know I posted about the possibility earlier but I don't think I'll be streaming any more of the battle rush mode. Next stream (there might be an early one this week but definitely one on friday) will continue Spider-Man, then the next bonus Frontiers stream will be for the next wave of dlc.
I tried the next island in this mode and whoo boy it was even harder. My biggest complaint with these is they leave no room for error, and normally I would be fine with that since my times in general are good, but there are very specific factors this mode relies on and as much as I love this game some things just don't work. Like I cannot for the life of me get the auto loop going after an attack and the first enemies of the Ares island section have that mechanic. Even the stuff for Kronos island was just difficult because of how the game just doesn't seem to want you to be able to execute certain combos (at least in my experience).
I am overall happy that Sega kinda added a mode where I can fight the titans again, I just wish I didn't have to go through a bunch of nonsense first. Admittedly, I don't intend on trying to beat the one for Ares island. Yeah it would be fun to fight the Knight again, but I'm content with being able to fight Giganto and the Wyvern again as I found those a tad more fun. But they definitely should have added a way to make those fights more difficult (without one hit KO), with a fully leveled up Sonic you can stomp these things pretty easily and I found myself purposefully hanging back just so I could do more in the fights.
Still, doesn't hamper my opinion of the game too much overall, especially since this is all bonus content
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The Agony of Desire
Part 11 // Masterlist
Warnings: 18+, Smut, fingering, p in v sex, mild choking, talks of pregnancy, canon typical themes, drugging, assault, guns.
A/N: Brace for impact...
~
"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind."
- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream
~
It's kind of annoying that good things don't last. Who designed a world like that anyway? Where you could get a taste of something so perfect, so peaceful, and so explosive. The rekindling of a lost love, the burning passion of two years of agony, the desire to stay in a blissful paradise with the one person who ever made you feel... seen.
To have it ripped from your hands without a forethought, taken by the universe with five simple words.
We have to go back.
But you didn't want to. You wanted this, here, with him and the quiet moments in between careless laughter and the shared breath of lovers before a kiss. And you wanted to grip it tightly and tell the universe to fuck off because Billy Russo was yours and nobody would ever take him away from you again.
And he sees this all written on your face when he gets the words out.
"Hey, hey, hey," he says, finding his way to you as you look down, your throat tight beyond compare, your eyes watering as you try to pretend that you're fine. His hands on your shoulders, "We'll be okay," his voice interjects, "I'll keep you safe, it's just that Kingpin needs something more from me, and then we're done. We'll be back here- or free to be in New York together- wherever you want- it's just one more thing and it'll all be over." He rambles into your ear, and you wrap your arms around him, holding him to you.
You take a deep breath, listening to his heart race in his chest.
"I don't want to lose you. I only just got you back." You sniffle.
"Oh baby," he kisses the top of your head gently, "You're not losing me. Not that easily. You told me no several times and I still kidnapped you anyway."
That makes you laugh, which makes him laugh.
"When you say it like that, it makes you sound like a villain." You say in between breaths.
"I am a villain. I'm a really bad man." He confirms with a nod and you shake your head in disbelief.
Your stomach picks that moment to make a loud gurgling sound and your mouth drops open.
"Oh my god did you hear that-?"
"-I know right, what the fuck is living inside of you?" He says with mock horror in his face and you laugh, pulling him back into a hug that he returns easily.
You sway for a moment, before pulling back.
"Come, let's talk strategy over dinner." You say decidedly, pulling him toward the kitchen.
~
You're staring at his sleeping form, from your seat opposite him.
He always looks so young when he sleeps, appearing so innocent about the ways of the world, and you acknowledge that it must be his eyes that give him his age. The look in them, the weariness, the distrust, the way you can see him analysing things as they happen. It's what makes him look close to the age he always claims to be. Now though, he could pass for at least a decade younger. Billy's got eyes that have seen so much, and you just wished for one moment you could ease his burdens.
He'd explained to you last night, that some of the money hadn't gone through, that Fisk was demanding the remaining twenty million and would restart his pursuit of your family if he was not compensated. It was one thing to be hunted by the Meachums, but you would most likely never survive if they managed to put their differences aside long enough to pursue you.
It made you nervous. To be going back into the lion's den no matter how reassuring Billy was, that everything would be okay.
How could he know something like that? How was he so sure, that the minute you two landed in New York, that both groups wouldn't descend on you both and take it all away? Take what you'd just been given...
You unbuckle your seatbelt, standing, and smoothing out your black dress for a moment. Billy peeks an eye open sleepily, looking up at you as you take the few steps to him.
"Are you okay?" He asks, his voice laced with heavy sleep, undoing his seatbelt and opening his arms for you to climb into his lap. You accept the invitation, straddling his body easily, burying your head in his chest, listening for a quiet moment to his heart, feeling fear and anxiety rise in your throat, and letting the soft scent of him calm you.
"I'm okay." You say after a little bit, "Just scared."
His arms encircle you, a soft kiss to the crown of your head.
"It's easy, in and out, nothing to be afraid of."
He'd said the same thing last night, but fear, held no care for rationality. Fear's only job, was to remind you of everything you could lose.
You grip his sweater, taking a deep breath, contemplating whether to tell him what you'd almost spilled yesterday- that you loved him, beyond words, beyond reason, maybe even beyond fear.
And yet, you still couldn't figure out if you could forgive him for the last two years.
It was... strange.
To love someone so deeply and still be burdened by the weight of their actions.
Maybe that was love. Imperfect, flawed, cracked, but so blissfully warm at the same time.
The Japanese art form, Kintsugi comes to mind next, and you wonder if that was something possible for you and Billy. An object, made more beautiful after being broken.
It's what lulls you to sleep.
The comfort of broken things, and the hopes that you have the chance to put them back together.
You wake a little later when the plane shakes, you stiffen in fright and his hand is immediately on the back of your head.
"Just turbulence baby, you're okay." He soothes.
You make a little hum, crawling off his lap to give a big stretch.
He watches you carefully, and you turn to look at him in question.
"What are you doing?" You ask, wondering why he's just staring at you.
"Nothing, just... remembering." He says, giving you a sly smile.
"Creep." You say, with mock malice in your tone.
"Careful," he warns, "You'll get me hard if you keep talking like that."
You almost choke on your spit with the speed you inhale at. Holy fuck what gave him the right?
You grin when a comeback flies right into your head.
"I bet it doesn't take much to get you hard, Russo." You tease, reaching under your dress to tug your panties down your legs. You watch the muscle in his jaw pop as he clenches his teeth together, never breaking eye contact with you as you free your panties and ball them into your fist.
"I bet it just takes the right move at the right time and that big cock is all swollen and leaky, hmm?" You tease, tossing your panties at him. The soft material hits his chest.
He doesn't say a word, looking at you with amusement as you silently dare him to say something.
He takes a deep breath, tilting his head to study you a little, before he extends a hand to give two swift pats to this thigh.
Holy shit that did not just make you tingle.
"Do you want something, Russo?" You ask evenly, and his smile deepens.
Shit. He had that quiet dominance about him that made you want to get on your knees and have him fist your hair in his large hand-
Christ almighty, where did your feminism go?
"Come here." He says casually, looking away from you for a moment, as if the clouds could ever be as interesting as the little brat of a girlfriend he had, one that he knew craved a firm hand.
"Bite me." You quip.
"If I have to get up from here," He warns "You're not getting to come."
You lick your lips.
"You're bluffing. You like me too much."
When he stands, your entire body gives you a warning that you were now in danger of being punished.
"I do like you," he acknowledges, "but that's not going to stop me from teaching that bratty cunt some manners."
Oh boy.
You take a step back as he begins to approach you, adrenaline spiking in your system, but in this private jet, there really was nowhere to go.
"Lesson number one, when I say 'come here,' do you know what I expect you to do?"
You keep backing away, knowing that your space to evade him is getting smaller and smaller.
"Do I look like I give a shit?" You ask, looking back to see how much space you have left.
It's all the distraction he needs to grab you. You gasp as he pins your lower half against a seat, you wriggle your body, but can't seem to get any leverage to push him away.
"I expect you, to bring that needy little cunt to me." He says lowly, as if you haven't spoken.
"Who said I was needy?" You gasp out, between small grunts as you struggle to get away from him.
His warm hand is sliding between your thighs in the next second.
"Oh please," he says, doubling down on you, using his body to stop any hint of struggle, "We both know how hot and wet this cunt gets for me."
Your mouth drops open when his middle finger slides over your clit. You bite down on your bottom lip, going still.
"There she is," he hums in appreciation, "Just ready for me, hmm?" His finger circles your clit slowly, you feel your thighs relax involuntarily, opening up for him to take what he wants. Your head is turned to the side, avoiding his stern, but deliciously warm gaze to listen to his sultry voice.
"Say my name, baby. Tell me whose cunt this is."
You can't deny him here. Not when you're in the air flying back to your ex-fiance, you wouldn't give him any doubts about this.
"Yours, Billy." You say so softly, still avoiding his gaze.
You're rewarded with firmer circles to your clit. You hiss, tilting your head up to expose your neck to him reflexively.
You were made to be taken. And he was made to take.
"The things I want to do to you, baby, the ways I want to ruin you would probably get me arrested in some countries."
Your mind fills with all the terrible possibilities. A small moan slips from your mouth.
"You want that too, don't you? You want to give me what I want?"
You nod your head, sighing as his finger on your clit pauses for a moment, only to push into you a second later.
You gasp as his thick finger breaches your entrance, filling you and pressing right against your g-spot. You go rigid, gasping as the pleasure builds inside you, teetering on an edge that doesn't come because he then holds his hand still.
You let out a low whine and he chuckles in response, your noses bumping affectionately as if he isn't a finger deep inside you.
He makes a small movement, something of a 'come-hither' with his finger, that creates a tapping motion on that spot inside you.
Pleasure blooms from your cunt all the way up your spine, exploding in your brain, before his finger stops moving.
Your eyebrows are scrunched together, mouth parted as he torments that sweet spot deep inside you.
"Why?" He asks, as if you can remember what was being said.
"What?" You question, out of breath, as he makes a few pumps of his finger into you. You gasp, tightening your walls around his finger in a silent plea not to stop.
"Why do you want to give me what I want?"
You shiver as his thumb begins slow circles into your clit, your knees wobble.
"Because..." you trail off.
"Because?"
He stops all movement and your frustration peaks.
"Because I'm yours." You say under your breath, finally looking into his dark eyes.
Is that what he wanted to hear?
His mouth stretches into a predatory smile.
Suddenly, his finger withdraws from you. You gasp, desperate to keep him close, but your hands are unable to grab him before he's pulling away from you.
"Good. Don't forget it." He says, his back is to you as he heads back to his seat.
Oh this asshole...
The fasten seatbelt sign pings on and you huff in frustration.
You make your way back to your seat angrily, sitting down and fastening your seat belt, glaring at him the whole time.
He sits too, fastens his seatbelt, but not before giving you a good show of sucking your arousal off his finger.
Which only throws you back into the memories of his tongue, and how much he genuinely loves tasting you.
You couldn't even fathom how that was possible. How his head between your thighs, his tongue working you over could give him so much pleasure, when Ward before wouldn't even-
You suck in a breath, heart squeezing as you look at him. Really look at him.
He looks at you too, from his spot opposite, and you're not even touching, but you've never felt this connected to him. It feels like he's in your head, like you're in his, like you know everything he feels from one look at him.
Billy Russo is a part of you now, he's in your bones, running deep in your veins, and he always will be.
And from the burning look in his eyes, he feels the same way about you.
~
Your face is pressed to the bed, a little bit of drool slipping past the edge of your lips and soaking into the soft sheets as he ruts into you from behind.
There's a couple of pillows under your hips, propping your boneless body up, presenting your body for his railing.
Your eyes roll back in your head, an unintelligent sound floating past your lips and you hear him chuckle above you between forceful thrusts.
"Do you like that, baby? Does it feel good?" He asks, and you can only make another dumb sound in response.
'Feel good' was an understatement. It was more than that. If your pleasure was the big bang, he was at its center. He was the source, the fuel, the reason. All emphasised by each rough motion of his cock.
"So perfect for me, baby. So fucking perfect." He gasps, his brain short-circuiting with the abundance of pleasure.
You clench fistfuls of the sheets between your fingers, your pussy tightening around his cock, warning him that you're going to come. He grunts, hips slapping against yours loudly, his hands smoothing over your skin, scraping at the curve of your back and ass with his blunt nails.
Open and pliant below him, you whine as you're brought right to the edge.
"Gonna come so hard, hope you taste it." He grunts out, and you let out another whine, so close... so close...
But he pulls out of you at the very last second and you whine in distress. He flips you over forcefully, the pillows still haphazardly beneath you, raising your hips so that he can reenter you easily.
You gasp his name, pulling the wild strands of your hair away from your face. His hands are firm on your hips, squeezing so tightly, you think it may bruise.
"All mine. Isn't that right?" He asks.
"Mmhmmm." Is all the noise you can make.
"Only me?"
"Yes Sir." You murmur.
He pushes one of your legs up, you gasp as you feel him go deeper, a droplet of sweat trickles from his forehead, down his nose and lands on your hip. You've been going at this for a while, and you know you're going to be so sore tomorrow.
Your back arches, you were on edge again. Shallow breaths and desperate sighs and the gasp of his name and the clenching of your core and he stops again and you swear you're going to murder him.
"Stop. Fucking. Edging. Me." You gasp out angrily between breaths, and you hiss when his hand wraps around your throat tightly.
"Lose the fucking attitude, baby. You're mine and I can do what I want." He grits out.
He pulls the pillows from below you, so that you're flat on the bed, it makes a good position to cover the entirety of your body with his and then he's back inside you again.
Your ankles lock behind him as he delivers swift thrusts, one hand cups the back of your neck to pull your mouth to his.
You bury your fingernails into his back and he groans into your mouth. You want to leave evidence on his skin that you were here, below him, taking his cock inside you.
He breaks the sloppy kiss to catch a breath, but you barely let him, before you're pulling his mouth back to yours in a heated frenzy.
There it is again. You whine as you get close, your body tightening around his, begging him not to stop.
He takes the message this time, speeding up. Your teeth sink into his bottom lip, your nails grip and scratch along his skin. His cock fucking you open faster and faster until an explosion goes off in your head.
Your scream is silent. Voice too gone to make an actual sound, your body squeezes down on his cock firmly.
He grunts at the feeling, your cunt fluttering around his cock so blissfully he has to squeeze his eyes shut to stop himself from exploding.
It doesn't work, because in the next second you adjust your head to bite down on his shoulder- and the explosion goes off inside him any way.
He fills you right up, all the way to the brim- you can both feel it. The way his spend slips out of your pussy while he's still deep inside you. Billy knows it's the hardest he's ever cum in a while.
And it's all for you.
You both pant, your skin uncomfortably hot, but unwilling to detatch your body from his. His nose brushes yours, the shared breath between you is hot as well, sweltering and likely to become uncomfortable soon.
'I love you,' you say with your eyes, and he smiles, kissing the tip of your nose in a gesture that lets you know that he loves you too.
Finally, he slips out of you, and you get your first breath of Billy-less air, and you sigh when you feel his come begin to dribble out.
You blink suddenly, realising that it's been a week since you took your last pill. You let out a shuddering breath, remembering that the last few days have just been you, being filled with his come over and over again.
"You okay?" He asks, noticing that you've been holding your breath for a little.
Your eyes flit to his concerned ones.
"Yeah...I'm okay." You answer quickly, pretending that you're not in a state of panic. Damn, when was your last period? What if you were-
"Want a bath?" He offers, and you turn to look at him. He links your fingers into his large ones, pulling them to his face to kiss the tips.
Would it be so bad?
"Yes please," you say softly, "A bath would be amazing."
He's careful. Like he always is, gentle to your body after thoroughly sating it. You lean against him, head tilted back on his chest, half asleep in the warm bath. The water makes gentle swiping sounds as he moves, raising his hand to gently trickle warm water over your neck and collabones.
"Billy," you whisper, the thoughts in your head going too wild for you to keep it in, he hums in question.
"We've never spoken about it... but... do you ever want kids?"
He pauses for a long moment. You squeeze your eyes shut, the silence is honey thick and you struggle to breathe while waiting for the answer.
"I've... never thought I could have something like that." He lets out a little laugh, "Hell, I'm probably the last person on earth that deserves that kind of life, and I definitely shouldn't be in charge of a kid, with a head as fucked as mine."
You listen intently, relating to his fears as best as possible.
"I'm not gonna tell you what you are, and what you aren't." You say, turning your head to speak against his neck, "But I know you're a fast learner, and if you wanted something, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to learn." You smile, kissing his neck, "As for deserving, there are worse people out there with families of their own. Don't judge yourself too harshly."
He makes a low hum, one that implies that he doesn't believe you, but he's not dismissing your words either.
"What about you? Do you want kids?" He asks, lips brushing your temple.
Another long moment as you think about your answer.
"It's....scary... not a simple yes or no, I'm terrified of both- having and not having." You reach to link your fingers into his, he squeezes tightly for a moment, "But it's just a little less scary with you."
The corner of his lip rises.
"I can confess one thing though," he murmurs lightly, dropping his hands to grip your hips, you gasp as his fingers press into your sore spots,
"The idea of getting you pregnant, makes me so fucking happy, I just want to fill you up all day long."
You laugh.
"You're insatiable." You comment, with a shake of your head.
"You have me this way, baby." He replies easily.
When you're almost asleep, face pressed into his chest, legs tangled together, he repeats the plan to you.
He's not going to be here when you wake, getting an early start on gathering the money he needs and assessing the meeting point for possible traps. There's a security team monitoring the hotel, so you'll be safe as long as you don't leave unnecessarily. Later tomorrow evening, he'll meet Fisk, and hand off the remaining money and he'll be back before you know it.
He kisses the top of your head and in your sleepy state, you hum something that sounds very similar to 'I love you.'
It makes Billy's heart skip a beat.
~
When you wake at around midday, he's gone as expected.
You stay in the hotel room all day, watching TV and catching up on random news, finding out what you'd missed in the little time you'd been gone.
Around six in the evening, the phone in the room rings, and you click the TV off before reaching for the receiver.
"Hello?" You answer, your heart pounding, unsure of who it might me.
It's the receptionist at the front desk who greets you on the other end.
"There's a Mr. Meachum here, requesting to speak with you." She says casually, as if you don't go rigid.
"Which Meachum?" You ask cautiously.
Ward, she tells you. Ward has found you and is waiting downstairs to speak to you.
Your heart hurts a little, remembering that the last time you were supposed to see him, you left him at the altar instead.
"Can you tell him to wait for me in the restaurant? I'll be down in ten."
She relays the message to him and confirms his acceptance to you.
You hang up, your stomach twisting into knots, the anxiety of facing him again is so strong, the worry of how you've hurt him is visceral, it makes you want to hide.
But you knew you had to face him, you knew that you had to go down there and look him in the eye and apologise for the embarrassment you caused him.
So you stand from the bed, determined to make it up to him in some way.
The elevator opens up to the restaurant on the top floor, a beautiful modern design with large windows to see the sun setting on the city.
Your heart pounds, smiling at the waitress and giving her your information.
You spot Ward, sitting alone at a table for two, sipping on a drink.
He stands when he sees you approaching.
He takes you into a hug when you get close enough, and you allow it, though it's not your favourite feeling.
"I'm so glad to see you're okay." He says, as his arms tighten around you, and you smile.
"I'm glad you're okay too."
You smile at him when you pull away.
"I hope it's alright that I ordered a drink for you," he says, pointing at the fruity drink on your side of the table.
You not at him in appreciation, sliding into your seat, and taking a small sip of the concoction. It's something slightly sour, and you appreciate the flavours.
He takes his seat as well.
There's a moment of silence.
"When you didn't-"
"I'm so sorry that I-"
A pause, filled with shared smiles.
He nods his head, silently indicating for you to speak first.
"I really meant to show up. It- It wasn't my intention to leave you there. I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway, or made you look... bad, but, in the end, marrying you- it- well- I-" You give him a sad smile, trying to find the words, "I realised it wasn't something that I wanted. I'm sorry for that."
His face is stoic, all harsh lines and even breaths. He nods, sweeping a hand through his hair.
"When you didn't show up at the church, I knew something went wrong. But I was hoping, that it was just jitters, I waited there for hours. And then I found out that you'd disappeared. I spent the last week combing the world for you, hoping you didn't leave me there without a word."
You take another long sip of your drink before speaking.
"I- well- Billy paid my debt and got me out. But it's a good thing too, because- Harold- he tried to have my parents killed."
"That's not true." Ward immediately says, and you look up into his eyes.
You can see it now, something around the edges, something about his appearance is... off. He isn't as put together as he'd like to seem, and you feel like he's a spool about to be unravelled.
Too bad you didn't owe him a single thing.
"I trust Billy with my life." You say firmly, "He told me that Harold tried to kill my parents. They would have died if Billy hadn't gotten them out."
He grips the edges of the table, leaning closer.
"And you believe him? My father was about to pay off your family's entire debt- and you believe some low-level scum like Billy Russo?"
"Ward." You say his name in warning, letting him know you don't appreciate his words or his tone.
He blinks, catching himself, realising that his words have rubbed you the wrong way.
"I'm sorry," he breathes, "But, Russo has always had his own interests first. He lied to you, he told you he paid off the debt, and he didn't, he told you that my father tried to harm your family, and that was a lie too."
You bite down on the corner of your lip, deep in thought.
"What does he have to gain from lying?" You ask Ward quietly, afraid of the answer. You lean back, taking another casual sip as if his words will have no effect on you.
"You might not realise it, but your family name has a lot of weight. Even though it's been dragged through the mud in the last couple of years, a combination of our families opens a lot of doors."
You swallow.
"A combination of our families? By that, you mean that fancy clause in our contract to have me pregnant within the year?"
He blinks, "Y/N-"
"-No." You say, "No, I'm sorry Ward, but I think I've heard enough." Your drink hits the table with a quiet sound, "Billy might not be honest with me, but at least I know he wants me for me, and not for whoever's last name I'm carrying." You stand from your seat and he stands too.
"I'm sorry, please, wait." He says, taking a step, reaching for you slowly, but you dodge his hold, walking away from him with a muttered 'Goodbye.'
He doesn't follow.
The emotions are a mess in your head and it sticks in your throat, there's a permanent frown on your face as tears spring to your eyes.
You don't understand why, though. You wish someone would take your brain out, map it, and show you exactly why you felt like crying your eyes out.
Maybe they'd circle a spot, "This is where your trust issues come from," point to another spot while saying, "Your low self worth comes from your body image issues, only reinforced by the fact that your family almost sold you to make babies and look pretty for the rest of your life."
You press your face into your hands, letting out a muffled sob.
You no longer knew what to believe, who to trust but at least you were sure of one thing.
Regardless of his motives, regardless of any lie he's told you, Billy loved you. And he would go to the ends of the earth to keep you safe.
You couldn't wait for him to come back to you, so that maybe you could forgive him for the lies he's told, and admonish him for the lies he would tell in the future.
You smile, shaking your head. No, you couldn't settle for being lied to, no matter how strongly you felt for him.
You begin to feel a little sleepy as the elevator doors open, yawning as you begin to make your way to your room. Your vision swims for a second and you frown, wondering why you feel so tired all of a sudden.
Were you drugged?
You sway, the panic setting in, and your first priority is making it back to your room.
You're at your door when someone calls your name. You look up in surprise, hoping that it's Billy- but it's not- it's Ward, making purposeful strides toward you.
"Ward?" You say confused, squinting at him as your body sags against the door.
He grips your shoulders forcefully, and you try to push at him.
"I think I've been drugged." You murmur, looking into his face, pleading for his help.
"You have." He says ominously and you whimper, realising that it's been him all along.
"Why?" You ask, your knees buckling as your body is forced to relax against your will. You feel so sleepy, you fight to keep your eyes open, pushing at him. Why won't he budge? Your fingers reach up to claw at his cheeks but your hands won't cooperate.
"Why?" He says, and you think he finally shows you his unravelling.
"Because I was promised a wife. And I will have one."
It's the last thing you hear before your vision goes dark.
~
His footsteps echo in the church as he steps in. There are candelabras scattered around the area, he counts them as he counts the pews. He also counts the number of people that are sitting with their heads bowed, praying, and the number of exits.
He sees the back of the marine's head, walking with purposeful steps to him. The marine doesn't look up, doesn't acknowledge his presence, doesn't move as he slides into the seat beside him.
He's sure that the marine has counted the same things he has, made a similar assessment of the safety of the surroundings, maybe even knows the approximate number of steps it would take to get to the back exit if the situation requires it.
"Mister Fisk appreciates your cooperation, and sends his regards for not being here in person." He says.
Billy Russo turns to give him a blank stare.
"I suppose everything can't go the way I want," he says.
James Wesley smiles.
"I suppose not." He responds.
~
You wake with a groan, your head is swimming, packed with cotton, preventing you from forming a thought.
Where? What? How?
You can't find any answers.
Another deep breath and you open your eyes a little.
Your vision is blurry at first, but you recognise the surroundings of a hotel room, just not your hotel room.
You're lying on the bed, pressed against someone who is petting your hair softly.
You sit up suddenly in shock, swaying as you turn to look at the person. Something else draws your attention at the same time, and you look down to find that your hands have been cuffed together. You tug at them experimentally.
"Just in time," Ward says, sitting up, and you squint at him, trying to figure out exactly where everything went south.
"You drugged me." You say to him accusingly.
"Yes. I did." He acknowledges, sitting up easily.
He's changed into something different, a dark tuxedo with a black bow tie around his neck.
"Do you like it?" He asks, looking down at the suit, "It's the exact same one I was wearing the first time. I tried to get you the same dress, but I got something that was easier for you to get into by yourself.
He stands, and you just look at him, eyes following his movements as he grabs a garment bag lying over the small couch. He unzips the bag, tugging a wedding dress free.
You can't focus on any of the details of the dress- not the beading or the neckline, in your hazy state none of it makes sense to you.
"Put it on." Ward says.
"No." You answer.
"I'm not asking." He tosses the dress beside you on the bed.
"I'm still not putting that on." You struggle to say something witty with such a cloudy head.
He takes a step forward, and you scramble back, slipping off the bed and backing away from him on shaky feet. When you try to get to the door, he intercepts your move- pressing you back against the wall.
"I don't have time for this." He says angrily and you seethe along with him.
"Fuck you." You spit at him.
The slap is sudden. You barely register the sound of it, your head is turned to the side, as your cheek screams in pain.
Did he really just hit you?
"I can't believe I ever defended you." You whisper, unable to meet his eyes.
"Karen once suggested you might hurt me, and I told her you weren't like that."
You raise your hand to touch your stinging cheek, it's tender and hot to the touch.
"You'd be mad too, if you were left at the altar to be laughed at by the entire city."
You swallow, looking up at him, fully awake now with the pain and adrenaline coursing through your system.
"You're delusional." You whisper with conviction.
"And you're not getting it. If you don't put that dress on, then I have no use for you." He leans forward, getting into your space and you grimace with disgust at the feel of his body pressed to yours.
"Do you know what I do with useless things, Y/N? I throw them away."
You wish for his death when your eyes meet his next. He smiles, raising a hand to cup your face, his fingers pressing painfully into the spot where he hit you. You don't make a sound, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of your pain.
"Get dressed." He says, stepping away from you finally.
~
James Wesley is appraising the contents of the briefcase for authenticity when the church doors open, and several footsteps can be heard.
Billy doesn't look back, he'd anticipated a move like this. And honestly, it might be exactly what he needs to get his plan back into action.
Harold Meachum steps into his peripherals. James closes the briefcase, looking up at said man, knowing James, there's only vague curiosity painted on his features.
"Sorry to interrupt your business, boys, but I have business of my own I'd like to take care of."
Billy is just, downright tired of looking at Harold's face, bored with this man's entire endeavour into making himself more powerful when he can hardly manage the power he currently holds.
"James, would you please call Mr. Fisk and tell him that is audience is requested?"
James doesn't hesitate.
"My apologies, Harold, but Mr. Fisk does not deal-" he pauses his sentence when Harold draws a gun, pointing it at James' head.
There's a moment of tense silence.
"Very well." Wesley says, pulling his cellphone out of his pocket.
Billy listens to half of the conversation, unable to hear any of Fisk's responses. James lets him know that an urgent matter has arisen that requires his presence, and that Harold Meachum will not accept no for an answer.
When James ends the call, he informs that Wilson will be here within the hour.
"Excellent!" Harold says, reaching to take the briefcase seated on James' lap, "That's just enough time to have a wedding in the meantime."
Billy's stomach drops.
It drops even lower when he sees the younger Meachum, Ward, step up to the altar.
"Now, if either of you move from here, the man sitting behind you is going to shoot you in the head."
Billy turns to look at the man. One of Meachum's bodyguards sitting in the pew behind, he's large, maybe even larger than Frank, which means he's probably slower. A mistake on Harold's part to have this man guard him. The other five or six people that were here before are being shuffled into the other room.
He watches a priest, step up slowly to the altar, he raises his hands, and then the doors at the back open with a slow groan.
Billy almost doesn't want to look. He knows what he's going to see. It fills him with murderous rage. He watches Ward's smug face instead, a man that looks like he's already won, as an unwilling bride walks down the aisle toward him.
He knows when he sees you there, the shock, and rage and fear of it all with sear like lightning down his skin.
Billy waits until the very last moment to turn and look at you.
He can't see much of your face, covered by the thick veil, but he can see the tremble of your hands as you hold the bouquet and Billy decides, that he's going to wipe the Meachum line off the face of the earth.
.
.
.
A/N: Heeyyyyyy guyssssssss, how are we doing?
#billy russo#billy russo x reader#the agony of desire#ben barnes#my writings#billy russo x female reader#the punisher
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PORTWELL LONG GAME OR RINA SLOWBURN.
You can only choose one poison.🍷
Listen up my Wildcats.🐱
We all ship each character with happiness. No matter how much you love to hate them, a majority of us simply adores the characters and want the best for them. Then comes relationships and it's okay to ship our favorites.⛴
I'm a diehard Rina shipper and I know in my heart that they are series endgame. The set up, the natural chemistry, their mutual understanding, the surprises and angst literally put me on chokehold. So I'm 100% a Rina shipper till the end. I'm here for the slowburn and their development rather than one shots. They are worth the pain. 😭❤
Let me start with Ricky Bowen now.
Ricky shouldn't to be with Gina because he's hurting her mentality. He's not insensitive on purpose. Like when he tried to stop Big Red from telling her his message to Nina because he KNOWS it'll hurt her.
If you think, that Ricky didn't understand clearly when Gina confessed, think again. He shushed her. Kept their thing a secret from everyone. He knows he feels some type of way and she feels something too. But this boy is so used to safeguarding his childhood norms and has very little adaptability. Hence, he pretended to ignore everything between them because his home stability was falling apart and he clinged on to Nina, his constant childhood love.
He's a traumatised 16-17 year old boy that needs to heal and grow. This episode was heartbreaking because he had to accept that he had to let Nina go because their once upon a time fairytale had become toxic.
People change. I'm not the same person I was when I was 16 lmao. Being together as childhood lovers means growing together and accepting each other's growth. Which Ricky couldn't. He clutched to the idea of Nini. Even his love confession. It was sooo sweet but all he did was focus on their history.
This boy needs time to heal and maybe seek professional therapy. It would be so DAMN HISTORIC if Disney decides to take psychological issues seriously and show how he's dealing with his anxiety, pills and psychotherapy. He needs to breathe before he can be with any girl for that matter. He's hurting and isn't trying to hurt anyone on purpose. Including Gina.
Him asking her for advice on Nini was a dumb, insensitive move. But he's trying to find a way to build some supportive friendship that they shared in early season one.
As for now, this boy needs to get his own grip on life and heal.
As for our Queen Gina
In Gina's confession, she focuses on their future. She basically said, "I wouldn't quit on a possible future of us being together despite obstacles. Because I never quit. But moving away isn't in my control." Ricky deep down knows this, encouraged her to say it, teary eyed, despite right after getting back together with Nini. Gina is his future. She went to his new house. And I also have this feeling that when she was given a chance to stay, she stayed partly because of Ricky. She left a chance to be with her mom because she prioritised their relationship. Because she never quits. 💪🏼
But she came back and found out Ricky has gotten back together with Nini.😭 What she doesn't know is Ricky got together with Nina before her confession, and after Gina kept dodging his messages. She's hurt and questions why she returned because she isn't particularly close to anyone. Hence, she was so silent at the after party. She thinks it'll be fine, "she'll live", and finds other reasons to find permanence. Her arc this season has been settling down in East High, despite the pain of losing and being 'betrayed' by Ricky, she finds other reasons to stay. 🏡
This kind of contrasts her with Nina. Nina left her dream school and came to Salt Lake because she missed her established home, and not just because of Ricky. Nina returned and was loved and embraced by Ricky Bowen.💕 Gina came back to a semi new place called Salt Lake because of her promise of a future to Ricky. But she got stabbed and she bled. 💔🗡
Think about her situation. She feels confused, alone, heartbroken, out of place and seperated from her mom. She's broken and hurting too. And she doesn't need more from Ricky's accidental or intentional 'sick burns'. That's the one line where he was such a jerk and I can't defend him here. 😠
Here comes the Caswells.
Her second family. A place of healthy stability. A home that accepted her. Ashlyn, her roomie and her confidante. EJ, the misunderstood boy who saw her value and bought her plane ticket.
Let's get to EJ.
At first, I wasn't too keen on seeing Portwell's development. But then that video chat where they talk about the possibility of her staying and him convincing her. Had me sold for a solid brother-sister relationship. Few episodes later, when Gina's pain seemed to be oblivious to everyone, he was the only one who asked her how she was, and saw her glow. The comfort she must've felt.
Not that she needs a man's validation, but she must be feeling like a second choice and feeling a little insecure because of Ricky. But EJ lifts her up and I genuinely saw her smile. This boy has her back whenever. The man she can lean on and truly sees how special she is. She no longer feels alone now that she has his entire fam and other friends. She genuinely feels a place of belonging and happiness when she's the apple of his eye. Notice how happy she is? How happy this boy is? She's going through her own issues and she has found ground with EJ.
I was very doubtful when they started hinting at a romantic direction. Because EJ would be used as plot device again for a girl to get to Ricky.😤 This man doesn't deserve to be second best to anyone, just like Gina.😑 That's why I'm still hesitant on shipping them at least temporarily. EJ needs to be something even more special to Gina. They need to show each other how special and treasured they are to each other despite feeling like rejects. They are each other's source of comfort.
I'm sure they can keep EJ at East High for the next season. Whether it's the drama club, or the AV club or going to a local college. So he will be there for Gina. I don't know how they can work out a relationship with much distance as Rini's fell out when she moved away. So, if EJ leaves again, it'll again shake up Gina. Her being worried whether he'll date college girls, second thoughts, etc. I don't want them to go through that. And if they do move on to romantic Portwell, make sure it's not plot device for Rina. So you can either have Portwell endgame or Rina Endgame.
Basically I want Gina to be treated so right that she understands she doesn't need Ricky. And when he does ask her out, and he makes her feel like a second choice or a rebound, she says NO. Because EJ has helped regain her self assurance. Eventually I want Gina to confide in EJ about her and Ricky. EJ is jealous but also angry about how Ricky has been hurting her. And becomes damn protective of his 'babe'. Ricky gets jealous of their relationship, restarting Ricky and EJ's old rivalry. But this time, it's not because Gina is his girlfriend, but because she's EJ's best friend who he has a crush on and wants what's best for her.
If it's meant to be Rina endgame
EJ- RICKY, YOU IDIOT! You have no clue how to treat her right. You don't put her first. You mislead her. Get the hell away from her! She's too powerful and beautiful, she doesn't deserve your scraps. I know how she feels for you. I wish I were you. I would treat her like a queen. I don't mind even waiting years till she's ready. She deserves that. You're so lucky you have even a small chance that I may never have. So get your act together, prove you're worth it to win her over. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it's with someone else. And maybe then I'll stop threatening you to stay away from her.😠
Ricky- .....I don't know what I'm more scared of. Change, or losing the girl I fell for or YOU. Okay, losing her but you're a close second.😬
If it's Portwell endgame.
Ricky- I messed up. Make sure you don't mess up with her. You'll regret it forever.
EJ- I'd rather get hit by thousand basketballs than ever hurt her. I'll be her plus one and her best friend until she's ready to be with me. I know she's ready now too. But I want her to know I'm willing to wait till she graduates before we make it official. I'm in it for the long game.
As for their age gap. I'm 100% sure Portwell won't kiss this season. If they do, it'll be next when Sofia turns 18. They are professional actors who are cast because they are the perfect fit for the role and are expected to carry out the storyline. But I suppose fearing some outbursts, they might delay Sofia kissing anyone till next season. It's so weird because Olivia was maybe 17 when Matt was 21-22 when they kissed in season one. But no one had a problem with that. But for this, they do. Remember, they are professional actors. They are acting! Sometimes, actors are over 10 years apart (but above 18) and act as romantic partners.
As for their characters, they are only two years apart. That's hardly any difference once you're over the age of 18. Age of consent is 16. But adults above 18 are only allowed to have sex with adults above 18. So, age isn't a problem here because EJ is a gentleman and is genuinely interested in her and isn't trying to get in her pants. So age isn't the issue when it comes to dating. It's the maturity. Gina is very mature and gives very sound advice. But I can see EJ being patient enough till she turns 18 just to kiss her because he loves her. 😚
As for the Ashlyn remark, "You look like a kid to me rn". He was JOKING.😂 Don't take things out of context. I tell my cousin sister that all the time. But she's three years younger than me and a grown adult. I don't see her as a kid but it's just a cousin teasing her younger cousin that's she's a little immature. I'm Matt's age and I'm very mature for my age and since I was a teenager, I always matched up with boys a little older than me. Now that I'm in my early 20s, I've dated boys even close to 30. So age is just a number.
EJ dating Gina and giving her quick kisses is fine. But to have a strong sexual element in their relationship (including making out), he'll have to wait till she's 18+. And I'm sure for that he'll wait till she's ready even past her early 20s. Age is really just a number and we can't help who we fall in love with. Trust me, I've been there.😂 So I can see EJ feeling conflicted about his feelings that are clear at this point.
They might not be a perfect fit, but they make each other sooo happy. They deserve a lot more than a short lived fling.😟 They are either endgame or Rina is. You can't have both as a Rina unless you're an EJ hater who wants him to exist as plot device. Nope! He's sooo much more precious than that.
But Jack on the other hand....I'm okay if he's the one to make Ricky or EJ jealous. Because he's just been introduced and it's okay if a character is used, but only once, for someone else to realize their feelings. 💁🏽♀️
In short.
Ricky needs help and needs to be on his own. No girlfriends allowed.🙅🏽♀️🚫
Needs to give both Gina and Nina space for them to grow on their own too.🌳
Ricky needs to understand the core of his problems and become more adaptable via therapy. Maybe the psychologist will point out his unresolved feelings for Gina, or he will conclude it himself. And in comes Ricky-pining-for-Gina season three.
Ricky needs to fully get over Nina before he moves on to anyone. Same for Gina if Portwell were to happen. No one deserves to be second choice.
Gina isn't Ricky's cushion. She's a living person with strong feelings for him and shouldn't be subjected to share his pain. She already struggles with her own issues.
Ricky needs to stay single till he wins back Gina and prove he's worth it. He needs to show even if another girl wants him, he'll never quit on Gina ever again. Even if he has to watch her be with someone else. *cough parallels*.
It's either romantic Rina then Portwell endgame OR Portwell flirty besties but Rina endgame. You and I can choose only one because my boy EJ shouldn't be used as plot device for a girl to leave for Ricky ever again.
Portwell's age difference can be practically solved and isn't much of an issue unless they get hot and heavy before Gina turns 18 which is impossible considering this is Disney. 🤣🤣
Jack and Gina will be plot device material and purely so sentimental to us OG Andi Mack fans. More than any ship, this is what I'm looking for. Sort of an Andi Mack crack ship for season 3a. It's gonna be soooo funny. 😍😂
I respect everyone's ship. I see what you're seeing. And I'm not going to invalidate your ship. But unless it's done right, I won't jump from the Rina ship. I liked Rini. I like Portwell. I like AU Juffy crackship haha.😂 But as for me, I'm still holding on to Rina slowburn.
Preparing myself for the pain. 😭🔥
(But if I had to pair two characters without Disney getting in the way, it would be Gini. The power duo. Undeniable chemistry. They can be written so well because of their layered relationship and contrasting personalities.🤩 The classic rivals to friends to lovers. But that's a talk for another day lmao.)
Thanks for reading my opinion, Wildcat!🐱❤
#hsmtmts#gina x ricky#rina#ricky bowen#gina porter#ricky x gina#portwell#ej caswell#jack hsmtmts#juffy#jonah beck#andi mack
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The Return
It's been 2 years since you were last in Dublin. 2 years since you up and left without warning, saying goodbye to your life there and restarting somewhere completely new. Sometimes, you have to go backwards in order to move forwards.
Requested by @noctvrnalmoth I hope you like it!
*Featuring Jim from the Delinquent Season*
Stepping off the train into the platform, you sighed. It all looked the same, and yet so different. Pulling the buggy open, you gently strapped your sleeping son in and made your way to the taxi rank, your suitcase trailing behind you. A kind lady helped you with your bags and waited with you for an available taxi.
"You look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders there, are you okay?" She sat next to you on the bench as your son murmured adorably in his sleep. "Sorry, I don't mean to pry..."
"No don't be sorry.. just been a long time since I came back here is all. Few loose ends to tie up." You glanced at your son's sleepy features as his eyes started to open. Beautiful, ocean blue eyes alongside his dark hair, growing more every day... The memories of that night flooding back before you took a large gulp of water from the bottle in your bag, forcing them back down. You'd done so well... 2 years and you'd built a new life in London. New friends, amazing new job allowing you to put that degree in marketing to good use - you were finally making a complete fresh start. But the secrets you had buried deep inside kept coming to the surface the more your son grew. He deserved to know his roots, who his father was, you knew that, but you couldn't do it.
Choking a tear back, you thanked the kind lady for helping you as a taxi pulled up and she helped you to get in.
Pulling up outside your cousin Natalie's townhouse in the city centre, she was waiting for you at the gate to help with Jackson and your bags. Grinning from ear to ear she pulled you in for a huge hug once you'd got inside and settled on her couch as Jackson sat in this new lady's lap tugging at her earrings.
"I can't believe I'm only just meeting him y/n.. he's the image of you!!" She kissed his cheek, bringing him up to look at him properly for the first time not over Skype.
"I never see it, I just see.... I just see him I guess..." You mind wandered to the man you actually saw, but you didn't let it slip.
"Those EYES!!! So blue and vibrant, just beautiful!" Natalie was swooning now, she'd never seen eyes that blue on a baby. Your eyes were brown, so he clearly inherited them from his father, although you had never revealed his identity - just a drunken one night stand and he wasn't involved. You weren't lying, technically...
After catching up properly, Natalie told you she'd planned a few people coming over to welcome you back that evening - nothing major, just a few friends from years ago that were keen to see you after so long away.
"Oh.. yes, that would be nice... Um, who's coming?"
"Well I think David and Amanda, possibly Caroline.. I think Liam is asking Jim too but I'm not sure if he's up for it - he's been through a tough time lately.." you caught a gasp in your throat at the sound of his name. Last you heard, through Natalie, he and Danielle were going through a rough patch. Cheating accusations on both sides, they'd agreed to a trial separation. "Apparently she isn't as broken hearted as once thought - already shacked up with someone new, fancy house on the coast, new Jag on the driveway, she's doing quite well for herself!" Your chin began to wobble, not unnoticed by Natalie, who placed Jackson in his bouncer on the floor and moved to place a hand on your shoulder.
"I'm fine Nat, honestly I'm good. It was a long time ago, things have changed. I'm not that silly little girl with a crush anymore..." Natalie looked into your eyes. Nothing ever got past her.
"Y/n.. when I said I'd never seen eyes that blue, I meant on a baby. Only one person I know has eyes like that, and I think you know too. Tell me the truth, please?" You were frozen, until tears escaped and you couldn't stop them. Jackson looked to see his mum crying and began crying too. Scooping him up, you held him close.
"It happened once... Just once Nat... And he doesn't know and he doesn't need to know, let's just leave it there, yeah?"
"What?? This is Jim's son? I was almost kidding y/n... How could you keep this from him for 2 years??" She was stood up now in complete shock. Jim wasn't just her friend, he was her husband's brother - this made things even more intense. The atmosphere could be cut with a knife.
"Please Nat... This wasn't easy okay? I was 21, I slept with a married man, and I got pregnant... Then mum died.. I had to go back to London to sort out the funeral and the will... I didn't want to be seen as the homewrecker that got herself knocked up..."
"And what about Jackson? Doesn't he deserve to know his father?"
"Of course... And he would.. when I was ready Nat. And I'm not ready..."
"Not ready for what?" Liam, Natalie's husband was stood in the doorway, as you heard the front door close. Now standing next to him was the man you were desperately trying to avoid... Jim stood behind him, eyes wide at the sight of you with a baby in your arms.
"Baby, we need to go pick up that delivery from the post office, remember the one we missed last week?" Natalie pulled a confused Liam out of the room, leaving his brother and you alone.
"Y/n... Hey.. um.. how are you?" You tried to smile in response but your heart was pounding in your chest, you could barely breathe.
"I.. yeah.. um, yeah I'm okay.." you glanced down at his hand.. the wedding ring was gone. "I'm sorry to hear about you and Olivia..."
"Probably for the best eh... We weren't exactly getting along, just stayed together for the kids I think. They're older now though, they're fine. Y/n.. where did you go? Why did you go?"
"My mum was ill... She'd had a stroke and they couldn't save her, I had to go... I just stayed.. and things happened.."
"You had a baby..." He looked at the little boy in your arms, feeling extremely nervous now. "He must be just over a year old, right?" You nodded.
"13 months.."
"And we... We had sex y/n.. the day before you left..." His own breath was faltering now as the dates in his mind started to catch up. Again, you nodded, tears rolling down your cheeks. The realisation of what was happening dawned on Jim. He started to back away, before shaking his head and storming out of the house, the door slamming behind him making you and your son jump.
Your sobs came out in full force now, Liam and Natalie coming back into the room. Liam took Jackson into the kitchen to find him something to eat as Natalie held you.
"It's okay y/n... Give him time yeah? Poor guys just had the shock of his life, he'll come round." Your heart was sinking.. you hadn't meant for any of this to happen, but here it was. The memory of that afternoon had never left you, you hadn't even been able to move on - your son, for starters, looked just like him, how could you find love with anyone with the constant reminder of the man you'd never have around you 24/7.
Flashback
"I'm so sorry Jim, I didn't know who else to call..." You climbed into his car, cheeks burning as he picked you up from outside the pharmacy. You'd been walking along the road when a pothole in the pavement took you by surprise and you'd tripped, your ankle turning funny - the pain was horrific, but no one seemed to be answering your phone calls when you rang around for someone to come pick you up. Reluctantly, you'd dialled Jim's number, your cousin's brother in law. He'd given you his number the previous week, after offering to help you move into your new apartment later that month.
"No problem, I was just dropping the kids at school so I was only round the corner." He helped you into the car and drove you back to his house. "I figured your place is in boxes, no chance of a first aid kit either, I'm guessing?"
"No," You laughed. "Thank you so much.." you grimaced as you turned your foot round, trying to ease the pain.
"Definitely not broken, just need to rest it. I'll put the kettle on." Jim led you into the kitchen and sat you down at the kitchen table, and grabbed an ice pack from the fridge. Lifting your leg onto the chair opposite, he placed the ice pack onto your ankle. "Feeling okay?" He asked, flicking the kettle on and preparing two mugs of coffee.
"Much better.. thank you." Definitely better.. the physical contact from him was driving you insane, you had to swallow the blushes in your cheeks, praying he hadn't noticed.
"I've only got instant coffee... Hope that's okay - Danielle won't let me buy a coffee machine." He rolled his eyes. His wife was one of the tightest women he'd ever met.
"It's fine, thank you.. and I honestly can't thank you enough for coming to get me.. I can't believe how clumsy I am!"
"Hey those pavements are a nightmare - I'm surprised no one's broken a leg yet! Don't you be moving now, I'll take you back home once that swelling has gone down."
"How did you know how to fix it all?"
"I have a son, y/n, who at one stage a few years ago thought he was an actual superhero and would fling himself off anything to check if he could fly.. you learn the difference between a broken ankle and a twisted one pretty quick!" He laughed, remembering the time his son climbed the tallest tree in the park, giving him a heart attack before throwing himself from the top - luckily Jim caught him before he hit the floor.
"I think it's better now, Jim, I can try and walk." You said, after chatting for a while in the large kitchen.
"Let me help you.." he held your hands and guided you upright, your chests now pressed together as you placed your foot gingerly on the floor, testing it's strength. Stumbling slightly, Jim caught you, your bodies now even closer together. You could feel his heart racing, could he feel yours? His hands wrapping around yours, holding you up, an arm snaking round your waist. You looked up and found him looking right back at you, your face inches from his. Before you had time to think, you kissed him, before quickly pulling back.
"Shit I'm sorry... Oh god.. no... I'm sorry..." He took your hand in his and pulled you back to him, pressing his lips back to yours. This time you didn't pull back, your mouth opening allowing his tongue to dance against yours. Lifting you up, he sat you on top of the counter, his hands roaming your body hungrily.
"I can't... I shouldn't..." He murmured against your neck, the vibrations driving you wild with need. "You're so fucking beautiful y/n..." He ground your hips against yours, you could feel his erection through his jeans as you reached down to cup it through them, kneading it slightly. He growled, pulling your hand up to his chest, his heart hammering underneath his shirt. "You feel that? Feel how fast that's going?" Silently you took his hand and placed against your chest.
"Feel mine...." You pushed his hand down lower.. over your breast... Down your stomach and under the waistband of your skirt. His fingers found your folds, and he gasped your name. "I'm wet... I'm so fucking wet..." Lifting your skirt up, he pulled your underwear down. You relieved him of his jeans and they fell to the floor, revealing no underwear, just his huge, hard cock already leaking.
"I see you are too..." You ran a finger along the slit, taking some of the precum and lifting it to your mouth. "You taste good..."
"You want this...?" He asked, lining himself up against you. You nodded, and he pushed in easily, you gasped his name and threw your head back as he filled you completely. Pulling on your hips, he rocked you against him as he moved his own hips back and forth, fucking you against the countertop. You legs wrapped round his waist as his thrusts came harder, deeper, faster.
"Fuck... Right there... Jim... Oh god...." He bit down on your exposed neck, hands pushing against your still covered breasts, he moaned.
"Feels so good y/n... You feel so good... That's it baby, I need to feel you... Cum for me..." You leaned back, and eyes locked with his you drew a hand down to circle your clit as he moved inside you.
"Gonna make myself cum on you... Gonna cum hard for you... Faster Jim..." He pounded into you now, your moans echoing through the kitchen as you came over him, his release following seconds later. Both of you leaned your heads together as your worlds came back into focus.
Present Day
"Hey."
"Hey.." you'd agreed to meet Jim for a coffee a few days later. He'd called you the evening before, slightly tipsy which made you chuckle. Liam and Natalie were watching Jackson while the two of you caught up.
"How's the hangover?" You smiled, he grimaced.
"Well I've definitely felt fresher.. it was a bit of a shock y/n..."
"Listen.. for what it's worth.. I'm sorry. I didn't know I was pregnant until I was nearly 20weeks. With the stress of losing mum and the funeral, I hadn't had a period for a while but I thought it was just the stress.. then my friend convinced me to take a test and the doctors confirming it.. it was too late to do anything about it.. then I heard you and Danielle were trying for another baby and I just couldn't do it Jim.. I couldn't destroy your life like that.." your hands were shaking. He leaned over and took your hands in his.
"I understand y/n.. I do. I spent most of this week thinking about it. I don't blame you for what you did.. but I do wish you'd told me."
"I'd done enough damage Jim, sleeping with a married man? On his kitchen counter where he makes his kids breakfast? Where his wife makes her coffee in the morning? I couldn't face you.. I couldn't face what I'd done.."
"You know where my wife was, that morning?" He leaned back, smiling a little. "At her office, bent over the desk while her boss fucked her from behind. She called my number by accident while it happened. I didn't answer, obviously, I was busy.. but my voicemail picked up the whole thing. I'd had my suspicions for a long time, but that confirmed it. We were never trying for another baby - that's just what she told people to distract them from the fact we were clearly falling apart at the seams. Couldn't exactly be mad at her after what I'd done with you though."
"Did you tell her?"
"Yes, but she didn't know it was you. Then you up and left.. I thought there was no need to tell her who it was. I guess now we kinda have to, right?"
"Jim, I don't expect anything from you, okay? I have an inheritance from my mum, I'm fine for money, there's no need to be involved if it'll cause you problems.."
"No. You've kept him from me for nearly 2 years y/n, don't do this again, please? I'm not asking you to move in, I'm not asking for a relationship, I just want to get to know our boy.. that's all.. please?" You saw it in his eyes. It was there, for all to see. Was it love?
"I'll call Nat.. ask her to bring him over, maybe we could go for a walk?" Jim smiled, nodding. You made the call, and an hour later you were walking to the local park, Jim pushing the stroller. He took Jackson out of the buggy and placed him inside a baby swing, pushing him gently while pulling silly faces making him giggle. Your heart swelled watching them.
"He's incredible.. those eyes.."
"Your eyes, Jim." He looked up at you and smiled listening to his son's giggle, before he started becoming grouchy again.
"He's teething... Come on little man, let's get you back shall we?" Jim lifted him from the swing and placed his little finger in Jackson's mouth. He responded by sucking his gums along it, finding relief. You smiled, watching Him soothe your son's whimpers of pain as his teeth came through.
Making your way inside Natalie's house, you were surprised to find it empty. A note on the kitchen counter read that they'd gone out for the afternoon, they wouldn't be home until the evening. You warmed a bottle of milk for Jackson as Jim gave him some Calpol. Taking the bottle from you, he fed his son, as you watched, heart pounding as you watched the man you were still in love with take such good care of your baby. Within 15 minutes, Jackson was fed and had been rocked to sleep in his father's arms, you took him and placed him upstairs in his cot to nap. You knew he'd be out for at least an hour after all that fresh air. Walking back into the lounge, you found Jim sat on the sofa waiting for you.
"Come here, y/n..." You sat next to him as he turned to face you, hand gently caressing your cheek. "What are we going to do now?"
"I'm heading back to London tomorrow Jim..." His eyes glistened slightly. He'd just found his son, and now he was going again. He'd just got you back in his life, and now you were disappearing again...
"What can I do to make you stay?" His question took you by surprise. Stay?
"Jim, I..."
"I haven't stopped thinking about you.. about what happened 2 years ago. How long I'd wanted you, how long I'd dreamt of you, how I still dream of you even now.. and we share a son y/n.. I can't let you go again, it'd break me.."
"I'm half your age Jim! I'm barely older than your eldest child, how can this possibly work?" He answered with a kiss. Leaning forward to take your mouth against his, without thinking you returned it, linking your fingers with his as he pulled you into his lap.
"It'll work because we'll make it work.. nothing else matters.. all of that other stuff is irrelevant.." he felt you grind your hips against his and his erection was burning against his jeans. He needed you, now.
"And Danielle?"
"Is fucking a man old enough to be her own father - opinion invalid. I don't care about her, I care about you.. please.." he was aware of how desperate he sounded but he didn't care. He had his hand under your t-shirt against your breast, no bra in the way this time. Lifting you up, he carried you upstairs to the guest room you were staying in, and laid you down softly on the bed underneath him.
"Birth control?" He looked at you, smiling.
"The coil - don't worry, I'm covered this time.." You smiled back as he lifted your t-shirt over your head and kissed you again. The reason for being at the pharmacy 2 years ago was to collect your prescription for the pill - you'd not taken it for a couple of days after running out suddenly. After Jackson was born, you switched to a more efficient form of birth control.
Pulling your skirt down and off, along with your underwear, he nestled his face between your thighs, now parted by his hands.
"I want you to watch me y/n... Watch me as I make you cum..." Your core burning, you raised yourself up on your elbows as he blew a hot breath against your wet folds, causing you to shiver under him. He parted your lips with his fingers, before licking from your pulsing hole up to your clit, finding a rhythm that made you cry out and shudder underneath his tongue. Smiling, groaning into you, you tried to keep your eyes on him as he licked and sucked your throbbing clit in his mouth.
"Jim.. don't stop.. oh god..." You hadn't had sex since that afternoon 2 year ago, no one being good enough to compete with the man currently buried between your legs. No pleasure you'd given yourself since was a patch on this, and you felt that burning feeling in your stomach starting to rise. "I'm close... Mm... Fuck I'm close..." Your words barely a whisper but he heard them, pushing harder with his tongue as a finger entered you, hooking upwards to find that spot inside, the one you didn't think actually existed, but there it was.. you bucked against his mouth, coming hard and fast - you felt your liquids gush over his chin, there was no stopping them... "Aha... Oh god Jim... Fuck... Stop, it's too much..." He smiled, blowing another warm breath over you before moving back to your mouth. You could taste yourself on his lips, turning you on even more.
Flipping him onto his back, you lifted his clothes off him and kissed down his chest. Your core needed a breather before you took him inside you. Licking the top of his now rock hard cock, you slowly sank your lips down, taking him fully inside your mouth. You'd never had a strong gag reflex, and you enjoyed the feeling of his cock hitting the back of your throat.
"Holy fuck... Jesus y/n... That's it baby..." Up and down your head bobbed, swapping between hard and light sucks, your teeth gently scraping the underside of his cock and your fingers lightly playing with his balls underneath you. Every time you felt them tighten, you'd ease off, allowing him to catch his breath, before bringing him into your mouth again. After a few near explosions, he couldn't take anymore and lifted you off motioning for you to sit on him. "Ride me y/n..." You smiled, and sank your pussy onto him, allowing him to fill you. Slowly so as to adjust to his length, your hips moved, back and forth, up and down, finding the right rhythm for you both. He sat up, chests together and his hands under your thighs as he rotated his hips from underneath, driving his cock against that magical spot again.
"Yes... God that feels good... Jim..."
"I'm not gonna last long y/n..."
"That's okay.. we've got plenty of time to make up for this... Cum in me, give me all of you..." You felt his cock twitch inside you as he moved your hips faster. Leaning back, you rode him hard, the bed frame squeaking underneath as you both cried out, your climaxes arriving simultaneously. Coming back to rest your head against his, you clenched your core once more causing him to gasp as you drew yourself off him slowly. Lay down next to each other, he pulled you into his arms.
"Did you mean what you said?" He asked, kissing your head gently. "Plenty of time?"
"I meant it, Jim... I need to get back to London to sort a few things, put my flat up for sale.. my job... But yes. If you'll have us, we'll come back.." you looked into his eyes. He lifted your head to kiss you and you felt it. All the love you thought you'd never find, in the man you thought you'd never find it with.
Everything was going to be fine, you couldn't wait to start your life over again, this time for the last time.
@margoo0 @queenshelby @peakyscillian @cloudofdisney @ntmynouis @being-worthy
#delinquent season#jim delinquent season x y/n#cillian smut#cillian x fem!reader#cillian murphy#cillian x smut
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Work, work, work
Day 15: Cockwarming
Warnings/Other Kinks: Anxiety/Depression implications and mentions (Doppo is just like thattt), Doppo kinda snaps at the end, office sex/sex at work, dubcon (there's not explicit consent in this so I'm going to put it just in case but the reader and doppo are in a relationship and I meant for this situation to be consensual, but Doppo's anxiety in this situation made it seem kind of sus)
I have nothing but Hypmic on the brain. I love feral screaming Doppo. Would highly recommend listening to him belly scream here. :D I really do want the best for this boy tho. I love him so muchhhh.
Disclaimer: 18+ years and older to read. All characters in this work are 20 years or older. This is a fictional depiction of a relationship and is not meant to be mimicked in real life. I do not condone cockwaming your partner in their place of work irl.
It was always work, work, work with him. Well, work and rapping but Doppo hardly ever talked about his Matenro. It was always about his balding asshole of a boss, his terrible coworkers and work, work, work.
You knew he was a workaholic. You knew that when you fell in love with the guy. But geez. Time for him to learn that self care was a priority.
You had stormed to his office after having spent two hours - past the time he was supposed to get off - waiting for him at home. This overtime was bullshit. The man worked himself to the bone. And he didn't know how to say no. You worried about him! It was the reason why you marched right over to the cubicle. The place was deserted, all except for poor Doppo, sitting at his desk pinching the bridge of his nose and surrounded by paperwork.
"What the hell is all this?" You asked as you came up behind him and you almost felt bad watching as the man let out a shout, jumping out of his seat and scrambling like a frightened rabbit. A few of the papers he had on his desk got caught up in his whirlwind and dusted around the room - a fact you assumed Doppo would be disgruntled about later, but he looked far too nervous right now as he took labored breaths and let wide eyes take in your form.
"Wh-what are you doing here?"
".... You're being worked too hard if the sound of your girlfriend's voice is enough to panic you," you quipped back, ignoring his question for now as you bent over to try to help organize some of the scattered documents that had fallen to the floor. Let him have the time to bring his breathing back to normal. You were mainly pissed at his job for overworking him - not so much him. Didn't need to go give him a heart attack. "You're here late again. I was checking in on you." A pile of paperwork stacked against your chest, you moved over closer to him to set it down on the desk and took your time eyeing the assortment of work he had lying around. This couldn't all be his. Some of them must be pawning off their work, and Doppo just so happened to be the biggest doormat around. A sigh heaved from your lips, and you didn't miss the way Doppo shuddered. How could you? The man tensed up like he was being shot by lightening. "Looks like it was a good thing I did too. This work would have kept you here all night if someone didn't come to stop you."
"I'm sorry!" You weren't surprised but the volume of his apology made you jump and as he started to spew off more and more apologies, you quickly grabbed him by the tie and yanked him in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. You weren't trying to invalidate his feelings by cutting him off, but there was no reason for him to be panicking like he was. And luckily, kisses from you always seemed to soothe him - at least as soothed as someone like Doppo could be.
"Baby," you purred gently, pulling your lips from his and watching the way his cheeks lit up with a dusting of pink. Always so stressed, this one. But the face he made after you kissed him made your heart flutter. Dumbfounded but he still managed to swoon in subtle ways - those aquamarine eyes zoomed in on you like you were treasure. The simple strokes you gave to his hair made him melt - the tension zapped out of his shoulders and he almost started to slump into you. "You don't have to say sorry. But it's time to go home now. No more work."
That cute daze in his expression only lasted a moment more before it was like all that anxious energy plowed right back into him. The word 'work' was enough to flip a switch with him. "That's not right! I have a whole ton of it!" His arm extended outward, waving at the stacks piled high. "I'm sorry but I have more work to do. I'll finish as soon as I can but - I gotta do this or my crazy boss will pile even more work on me! Or I'll lose my job or worse I-ll-"
"Doppo!" You cut him off and tried to calm him down. It worked to some extent but only enough to keep him from screaming or spiraling into one of his crazes. You didn't convince him to stop working though and eventually you had to settle for watching him drown himself in the work in front of him, trying to suppress your groans.
You loved the man. But really?
Playing the waiting game wasn't something you were interested in though. Which is why, after a bit of working, you somehow managed to not only weasel your way into his lap but you also got his cock out of his pants, stroking it just enough to get him riled up as you watched him try not to panic.
"You can't just do that-"
"I just did. Don't worry. The cameras can't see in here. It's fine," you coaxed, letting him stay nervous anyway as you pushed your panties to the side from underneath your skirt causing him to visibly gulp. But he wasn't pushing you off.
"I have to work," he declared, whispers on the verge of being shouts fell from his lips but cut off into a whimper as the head of his dick was suddenly being warmed up by the heat of your body as you slowly sank down onto him - taking him in inch by inch.
It wasn't until you were fully seated to the hilt, listening to his breath hitch that you gave a tiny huff. "Then work." And your body stilled. No movement other than the flutter and clench of your walls against your hung lover, letting your eyes watch his flustered face. He clearly didn't know what to say and you watched as his gaze flickered around like a chicken with its head cut off - to your face, to his paperwork, to where your bodies were joined and then anywhere but you. Good. Get him riled up. He was panicking but you could feel him twitch inside of you, like he was anticipating for you to move - waiting for it. But you kept your hips locked in place as you leaned in and rested your head on his shoulder. "Work, Doppo. Just giving you some motivation for when you finally get done." Your voice was much to kindly for someone who just pulled somebody's dick out in the middle of a public office. But it managed to keep him from tipping over his brink just yet. Poor thing always got so worked up. Your physical actions may not be helping that necessarily, but your voice always seemed to soothe him over, even if it was only a little at a time.
"H-how?" You listened to him practically squeak, shifting under you and instantly giving a whine at the slight push against your walls. How was he supposed to work when you were on him like this? How was he supposed to concentrate when you were constricting around him? When you were filling him with molten lava from the bottom up?
With feather light kisses, you trailed a line across his neck, trying to remain still on the cock that was stretching out your insides - forcing the urge to bounce on him like a pogo stick until you both lost even the capability to think of work. You would behave somewhat for now though. Doppo could get his work done. You could get some form of closeness in the meantime. Besides, maybe a good vise grip on him could speed up the process? Or make him say 'fuck it' altogether - hopefully, literally fuck it. "Just work, Doppo. Since it's so important. Ill wait," you cooed, almost as if you were being thoughtful. Too sweet for him to argue and you listened to him give a defeated groan of a sound before he tried to level out his breath and refocus.
Oh, but that was easier said than done. Doppo had restarted on the paperwork, working around you as your warm body nuzzled into his chest. He usually felt like he was suffocating at work but right now, it felt like your body was trying to strangle the life out of him from somewhere other than the neck. How were you so tight? How come velvety walls were squeezing down on him over and over again without either of you even moving? You were starting to leak out around him, a sticky mess starting to spill out onto his lap slowly - torturous. Maybe you were actually trying to be sweet. Maybe you were actively trying to mess with him. But either way, it was kicking up a bad habit within him. He would reach for another stack, shifting in the chair and causing the tiniest of mewling to escape from your lips. It was a blissful sigh here, a hitched breath there, a tiny hum into his chest and it was going to break him. He was supposed to be focusing but at this rate, he was going to start making mistakes on his work.
You were causing him to silently work himself up. Each climb of his emotions resulted in a string of jitters, and in return had your body clenching even tighter on him. How could you even feel like that? He choked, tugging at his tie to try and gasp for air. You were messing with him. You had to be. You must be mad he wouldn't leave. This was his retribution. To be strangled by your wet cunt over and over without reprieve- without any motion for relief. Well, fuck that. He may love you. But he worked far to hard day in and day out. Pent up didn't even begin to describe it. If you were going to try to rile him up like that, then he would give you riled up because he couldn't take it. Not a second longer. Not with that familiar primal darkness beginning to flare inside him.
His body rocked and you instinctively lifted your head from his chest to peer up at him, the first actual movement he had made since you had sat on him. "Are you okay?"
"O-okay?" He was stuttering his words but unlike his panic from before, this time he sounded angry. It wasn't a tone he took entirely too often. But you knew Doppo. You knew if his buttons were pressed enough, he would snap. He was tea kettle, getting hotter- "how do you except me to be okay-" and hotter "- when your purposely trying to make me-" until he screamed "-loose my fucking mind!?"
You only had enough time to widen your eyes before he flew out of his chair, taking you with him and slamming you onto his desk. The noise he made was positively feral - teetering between a growl and a scream - and without a warning, he was wrecking you, bludgeoning into you with a speed you hadn't even been aware he was capable of.
"D-D-Doppo!" You were trying to talk but the sudden thrusting was knocking out your capabilities to think. You had been stretched out and horny for a while now but at this pace you couldn't keep up. You were trying to grip at his shoulders for some type of stability. "H-hang on a sec-"
"Hang on?!" He sounded unhinged - a growl ringing in the back of his throat so different from his usual meek - if not panicked - composure. "I've been hanging on! I've been hanging on this whole time! You just had to be on me huh? When I'm at work!" Papers were tossing up into the air around you and you could hear the clatter of the cubicle as he knocked you into the desk over and over. Oh, you couldn't even keep your eyes opening with the way your senses seemed to overload. "All this work - all these damn excuses to pile it onto me - and then you still come in here and give me more work. Too needy? Need my to pound you senseless before I can finish my work? Then that's what I'll do. I'll take you over and over and over again until you're out for days!" He declared, his hands clamping down on your hips and you could already feel the bruises even as the head of his cock shifted up enough to find your sweet spot, leaving you wailing out. "Again and again and again!" He got louder and louder with his sounds, growls and grunts turning into wanton groans and gasps as he split you in two.
This would teach you not to mess with him at work. Or maybe it would teach you to mess with him more.
#doppo kannonzaka#hypmic smut#doppo x reader#kinktober#mc doppo#idk what to say about this one#i was actually gonna make it sweeter#but then listened to Doppo screaming and lost my mindddd#so i wanted to tease him#and press his buttons#whoops#aftercare for this one would be sooo good tho
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Robber Claws
hi guys! i've read a bunch of your fics and got inspired so i wrote a thing! enjoy ;) also, it's pretty long so...buckle up! love yall <3
The criminals lurk in the mist, invisible, but Sofiya Pavlichenkov knows they’re there.
She’s perched in the Lookout’s nest of her Warship in Fourth Harbour, pretending to read the documents her first mate, Kastor, has just handed to her. But her blue coat is flapping in the wind and her papers keep jostling and she’s being watched, all of which is rather uncomfortable.
Idly, Sofiya wonders what the criminals might want. A smuggling, perhaps? Out and away from stinking, crawling, loathsome Ketterdam?
Sofiya hates this city. His city. She misses Ravka, her homeland- the Little Palace.
I miss my bloody Kefta, Sofiya thinks darkly as another bought of wind spirals harshly through the Harbour. The blue coat she wears is a subtle nod to her Tidemaker status, but it’s a sad, thin piece of cloth compared to the grandeur of the Fabrikator-made Keftas. But Sofiya can’t wear her Kefta, not if she wants to blend in in Kerch- a lesson she learned long ago…
Old enemies, Sofiya. Old enemies, but not withered grudges.
Huffing out a sigh that would make Zoya Nazyalensky proud, Sofiya rises gracefully to her feet.
They’re coming. She can feel it; they’re making their way towards the ship. They don’t have to be rowdy to intimidate, that’s for sure - or to make a crowd of Merchants and Thieves part like the sea almost immediately.
Sofiya reaches up behind her head and loops her hand around a piece of knotted rope; takes a deep, steadying breath.
And she steps off the platform into the open air.
For a moment, she catches on the air as if a Squaller has caught her on a buffering breeze, but sure enough, gravity kicks in.
Sofiya welcomes the feeling of her stomach in her throat as the fall takes hold, zipping her past the sails. It's good preparation, anyway, for the three dark figures moving up the docks towards her.
As they near and Sofiya lands lightly on the deck, she confirms what she already knew: these were criminals. Her criminals.
The trio stops in front of her. They're all wearing black and gold - not a uniform exactly, but it’s a solid way to show your allegiance. None of their hands were visible, but if they were, Sofiya would find the Robber Claws emblem branded cleanly onto the backs of their knuckles. Their hoods are drawn up over their faces, but Sofiya can tell from their posture who she’s dealing with.
"Ah, Iseut," Sofiya says serenely, "To what do I owe this pleasure?"
The girl in the middle pulls down her hood, revealing shining blond hair, dark eyes, full lips. She doesn’t smile.
"Where have you been, Sofiya?" Iseut asks coolly.
"The Wandering Isle," Sofiya answers immediately, "I stopped at Os Kervo on my return to pick up some supplies. I'm only three days late, Is. Cut me some slack."
Iseut sighs, and suddenly looks less the badass, fake-waitress man-killer, and more the tired mother of a delinquent child. Sofiya feels a flicker of guilt.
She had stopped at Os Kervo for more than one reason. The "supplies" were crates upon crates of commandeered Fjerdan weapons and traps, intercepted by the First Army on their way to the Front Line. Sofiya had paid nothing to take them off the hands of the Ravkan soldiers, who honestly had no clue where to send them. What good were jerky Fjerdan guns to a sophisticated, well-oiled Second Army legion?
Sofiya could picture Zoya's face at the sight of the sad little weapons. Disgust and disdain, unshakable beauty - and perhaps just a little bit of pride that her friend had been the one to collect the Fjerdan cargo. Sofiya would work on selling it all later. She'd dump the Grisha traps in the ocean, though. Drown them like they deserved to be drowned.
"I am sorry, Iseut," Sofiya says, and her words aren’t mistruths.
"Don't apologise to me," Iseut says dismissively, "It’s your friends that were barely able to sleep the past few nights. You should talk to -"
"Destry," Sofiya's words mist the air like a fine rain, "I know."
One of the tall figures stood behind Iseut lowers her own hood. Lyra. Ly.
It made sense that the Robber Claws would send their best Bruisers to Fourth Harbour. Sofiya knew by the other Robber's posture that beneath the hood, she would find the face of Winter. But Winter wouldn't lower her hood in front of so many people, so Sofiya was content with what she could get.
"You really had Destry worried, Sof," Ly says, chastising.
"Destry can handle me being gone for weeks on end," Sofiya crosses her arms. She will not be guilt-tripped, "This job was half a week, and I was only a few days off schedule. I did tell Cherry that I'd be late." The words come out as a question.
None of them say anything.
Another flash of worry courses through Sofiya. Cherry Vlasova is a Heartrender, and one of Sofiya's closest friends. The message that Sofiya had forwarded was simple and concise: I'll be a few days late. Stopping at Os Kervo. Don't worry, no Fjerdans. Tell Destry -S.P
Had something happened to Cherry? She was an avid gossiper; her post box was always full of tip-offs (a useful source of information for the Robber Claws) but Sofiya was reliably informed that her letters were always placed on the top of the pile. Marked "URGENT."
"What happened? Is Cherry alright?" Sofiya demands.
Iseut holds up her palms, and they are callused and grease-marked. Sometimes Iseut is so well put together that Sofiya forgets she's a barmaid.
"Cherry is fine. But all our Grisha are shaken. Whilst you were away, there was an attack on the East Stave."
Sofiya's heart stops and restarts and stops again.
An attack. On the Grisha. And she wasn’t there to - to help, to defend-
"Destry," Sofiya breathes, "And Cherry - and Adali, Roza, Linnea, Yan, Anya- oh, Saints, was it the Fjerdans?"
There are many Grisha members of the Robber Claws. It was one of the reasons that Sofiya wanted to join them in the first place. If the Fjerdans had attacked -
"Everybody is fine," Ly says lowly, "We had Freya and May fixing people up as soon as we heard- and Lita, of course, but behind the scenes."
Freya and May- and even Lita, whose powers most of the gang didn't even know of. Grisha Healers. So people had been hurt.
"What. Happened." Sofiya growls, and Ly glares at her challengingly, fists clenching. The water beneath the decking froths and bubbles as Sofiya brings her own fists together, power surging pleasantly up her arms. If Ly wants a fight, she can have one.
"Calm down, both of you," Winter's smooth voice projects from under her hood. Despite the heavy fabric, her voice is clear and commanding. Sofiya takes a breath to compose herself.
"To answer your previous question: no. It wasn't the Fjerdans." Iseut says, "We don’t know what they were."
Sofiya's brow creases at the chime of fear in Iseut's voice. She's never seen the golden-haired barmaid afraid before.
It begins to rain softly, the pattering of droplets quiet against the wooden decking of the docks.
"We should go back to the Queen’s Head, Iseut," Ly suggests, referencing Iseut’s place of work. Iseut nods once, swiftly, and glances over Sofiya's shoulder at her warship.
"Do you need to...?"
"Yes."
"Go on, then."
"KASTOR! IM GOING FOR A ROUND OF DAY-DRINKING!" Sofiya yells over the shoulder of her rain-splattered coat. She hears Ly chuckle as Kastor's scruffy head pokes out from a window.
He nods at Sofiya when he spots her, and she waves, assenting. Kastor would keep everything safe whilst she was gone. It was their unspoken agreement, unchanging and unwavering since the day they'd become crewmates.
Sofiya turns back to Iseut, Ly and Winter.
"Let's be on our way," she says, and lets her fellow criminals lead the way along the Harbour, her warship disappearing into the mist behind her.
~~~~
The mid-day slump of customers meant that the Robber Claws had the Queen’s Head pub all to themselves.
Iseut- who did not own the pub, but had put more work into it than the real owners ever did- had immediately trekked behind the bar and poured herself a whisky.
"Want anything?" She asks, directing the question directly at Sofiya despite the equal presence of Ly- and Winter (who had lowered her hood slightly now that she was back on familiar ground, with familiar faces.) Bruisers didn’t drink on the job. It slowed reflexes.
"The story," says Sofiya firmly, "It a joke about the day-drinking. What happened?"
Iseut pours herself another whiskey and the quartet take a seat at a shady little circular table in a quiet corner. The murmurs of other Robber Claws members is enough to shelter their conversation from the group- despite Sofiya being sure she was the only one unaware of what had transpired the days she’d been gone.
As Iseut begins her story, with Winter and Ly regularly interjecting with additions, Sofiya feels horror and fear clamp down on her heart like a Fjerdan Grisha trap.
Iseut’s alluring voice weaves a tale of Komedie Brute actors in bloody masks, rose-painted rubble from an impossible explosion, and worst of all: Grisha. Dead Grisha, killed by creatures with screeching metal wings.
“Only a few of our Grisha were hurt,” Iseut sips her drink solemnly, “We took your advice of keeping them anonymous and undercover. We have Erin and our other spies out searching for answers at the embassies. I’m sure you’re just as eager to find out about the winged creatures as we are.”
Sofiya nods, “I am. Thank you for filling me in, Is, really. And to you, Ly, Winter. I know you don’t like going to far from the West Stave.”
The last comment was directed purely at Winter. It’s not a lie. Winter runs a dojo for training Kerch’s women to protect themselves from Barrel bosses and scum alike; she didn’t want her clients finding out about her… Robber side. Being a criminal wasn’t the most unintimidating, friendly persona to have when speaking with vulnerable women.
Sofiya respected Winter and her clean profession. It was hard to be so kind in the Barrel. And men were rarely kind to women at all.
Sofiya knew that first hand.
Shoving away the memories- blue eyes, dark hair, gorgeous smile, charming words and sharper wounds- Sofiya stands in one fluid movement.
“I’m going to find Destry,” she says. Iseut stands, Ly and Winter falling back to flank her again, and smiles. She’s beautiful, that is undoubtful, but the attacks- the sleazy men at the Queen’s Head, the strain of the city- it’s all gotten to her. Sofiya can see it.
This city is poison, thinks Sofiya as Iseut takes her hand and shakes it. Poison and rot.
“Destry will be in her rooms,” Ly supplies, and Sofiya nods at her once.
Sofiya grins brightly, hoping it covers her own weariness, and recites, “Fair winds.”
“Bright stars,” chorus her friends. Sofiya waves over her shoulder as she slips out of the bar and down an alley. Above her, a storm brews in the clouds.
Perhaps the stars would be out that night. It didn’t matter. Nobody in Kerch saw the stars anymore.
~~~~
On her way to Destry’s apartments, Sofiya ran into more members of the Robber Claws.
Malcolm and Firefly, who lived together in shared housing in the Anvil, were shopping for new blacksmiths’ equipment. They each provided invaluable services to the Robber Claws, crafting flawless weapons second only to that of Fabrikators. They greeted her with a wink each. Sofiya moved on swiftly after trading them a Wandering Isle-crafted staff for twenty Kruge.
She picked up some baked goods on the way. She would need them. Destry- who had been her closest friend since she arrived in Kerch- was an Inferni. Fire-bringer; with an even fierier temperament. Rumour had it- and Sofiya knew the rumours were true- that Destry had been attending the University of Ketterdam when she’d heard a boy make a lude comment during an exam and lit the paper on fire with her mind. And that paper had been thrown. At the boy’s face. Ouch.
Sofiya had been nursing a whiskey in a tavern when she’d first heard the story recounted. She’d leapt up from her seat, slithered into an alley and held the recounter at knifepoint until he’d told her Destry’s name.
They’d become fast friends upon meeting. Sofiya had been in awe of someone so rebellious, so brave as to set fire to an exam paper, and Destry- well. Destry had laughed for hours when Sofiya had told her how she’d first come across her name.
But now, staring up at the ornate windows of Destry’s apartment, Sofiya feels unsure. She didn’t mean to worry her friend. Iseut had explained that her letter must have gotten lost during the riots. Sofiya cursed the post offices. So there was a deadly storm- your motto is still “We always deliver.”
Despite her trepidation, Sofiya’s feet were swift on the stairs. She had a key to the apartment, and didn’t hesitate to unlock the door and slip inside without a sound, content to watch Destry whilst she worked; even if only for a moment.
Leaning against the wall, Sofiya’s brow creases as she surveys her friend. Destry’s hair is plaited carefully into two loops at the nape of her neck, hazel strands freeing themselves gently against her light brown skin. She’s stood facing away from Sofiya, arms circled in rings of fire. The shirt she wears is Fabrikator-made; the flames don’t take to the papery material.
Sofiya takes a step forward, and pointedly drops her bag of confectionary on the floor. It lands with an audible thump.
Destry whirls, the fire at her wrists whirling into an inferno ready to strike- until Destry sees who is at her door.
“Shouldn’t have hesitated, Des,” Sofiya said weakly, “I could have put a knife in your back.”
The shock on Destry’s face dissolves. Her face splinters down the middle. Licks of fire at her fingertips wilt into ash in a pile at her boot-clad feet.
“You would have put out the flames with your water, I’m sure,” Destry says, and then flies across the room towards Sofiya, wrapping her in a tight, smoke-smelling embrace.
Sofiya would normally pull back. “Don’t be too open with your heart, Des,” she’d say, “People use your loves against you here.” But Sofiya couldn’t bring herself to say those things. The weight of the week comes crashing down on her head like a tsunami.
Fjerdan traps on my boat, attacks on my gang, tensions in Ravka boiling over… where’s safe anymore, except here?
Destry pulls back slightly to scan Sofiya’s face. She has a smear of oil on her cheek. Destry’s eyes are filled with fire, burning like an ember beneath onyx waters.
“Where. Have. You. Been.”
“Destry-”
“Don’t you make excuses with me, Pavlichenkov,” Destry snarls, “You didn’t warn us you were late! I couldn’t sleep- neither could Cherry!”
“I-”
“We thought you’d been caught, Sofi,” Destry cries, “We thought the Fjerdans had got you! I thought you died.”
The word is ugly and big in the room, choking Sofiya’s response. Death. Dying. Dead. And by Fjerdan hands. It wasn’t so rare for travelling Grisha to be caught and sent to the pyres.
“I’m sorry,” Sofiya says, because it’s the only thing there is, “I wrote- I really did, don’t look at me like that- according to Lyra, there was a storm in the True Sea. The letter sunk with the ship.”
“You’re a Tidemaker,” Destry huffs.
“Yes, which means I manipulate water,” Sofiya says, “Not stop it from overturning ships with important letters on them. Destry, I’m sorry. I brought waffles.” She offers the last sentence like a defendant on trial with the Stadwatch; one final piece of evidence to prove her innocence.
Destry brightens immediately, “Well, in that case.”
The pair of them set to work, shoulders just brushing in the cramped kitchenette. Sofiya’s array of pasties are laid out over two plates, which they lay on their laps. Destry’s job for the Robber Claws is, in few words, that of the logician. Papers are scattered all over her apartment, covered in detailed blueprints and scale drawings of buildings all over Ketterdam, Fjerda and even- rarely- Shu Han. There were no drawings of Ravka.
If Iseut had ever commissioned a robbery in Ravka, Sofiya didn’t know about it. It would be…unwise to hit out at the Ravkans, with so many Grisha in the gang.
But Destry’s job was essential, so Sofiya couldn’t complain about the lack of trays to put their plates on. Such things were useless for such an incredible mind as Destry’s.
“So,” says Destry conversationally as she lights the fireplace with a casual flick of her wrist, “How were the Wandering Isles?”
Sofiya says nothing, massaging her temples lightly. Destry manages a laugh.
“Your silence is telling, Sofi,” she warns.
Sighing quietly, suddenly feeling very tired, Sofiya says, “It was crawling with our Fjerdan friends from the North. ‘Peaceful’ Fjerdans.”
Destry spins, and she is outlined with the fire. We’re opposites, Sofiya thinks. Fire and Water.
“You didn’t-” Destry begins, horrified.
Silently, solemnly, Sofiya raised her palms to face the ceiling. Destry reaches out.
Her gentle fingers trace the scars there. Deep and painful and barely healed, the scars run red against Sofiya’s pale flesh.
“Sofiya…” Destry breathes.
“It was the only way to push my power down,” Sofiya whispers. She’s rarely so emotive, but Destry is someone she trusts with everything. It was a weakness, some would say, but they were each powerful Grisha. They were Gods in a world of men. And they would not kneel “If I hadn’t, I would’ve been caught. It was a price to pay.”
Grisha shone like lighthouses around people. In Kerch, in Ketterdam, it was safer for them- especially ones loyal to a gang, as Destry and Sofiya were. But in the Wandering Isles; where Fjerdans passed through on their way to Novyi Zem, where gang affiliations mattered less than the colour of your eyes… Sofiya tells herself she had no choice.
“Sofiya, you’ve opened up old wounds here,” Destry says, tracing the marred skin of her palms again, “You need a healer. Freya, Lita, May-”
“Wouldn’t understand,” Sofiya finished, pulling her hands out of Destry’s and placing them carefully in her lap, obscuring them with her coat, “They’re healers, Des, not warriors- they’d go to Iseut.”
Iseut. Their unofficial leader, the founder, the lighthouse in raging seas. All of the Robber Claws seemed to be caught in her gravity. She was their sun. And Sofiya… well, Sofiya was the moon. Iseut would send her to a healer, one who would stop her travels. One who would commandeer her Warship, and Kastor… health of the mind was important to Iseut.
But Sofiya was not damaged, as they would tell her. She was not broken. Her mind was sound.
I did what I had to do, to survive.
But Destry can see through it all. Through the mask, through her eyes, right to her bones. Through to her lying, treacherous heart. We’re all broken in the end.
But.
Oh, Destry, Destry, please…
“I won’t tell her,” Destry promises, “But I’d like you to know that I think you should. Tell her, that is- Iseut. She might help.”
“She might ship me back to Ravka,” Sofiya grumbles, biting into a toasty croissant.
“Oh, she wouldn’t.”
“You never know.”
“She’ll want you to heal, that’s all.”
“Yes,” Sofiya rolls her eyes, “But these wounds are of the flesh. The scars on my heart will never heal, not in this life Perhaps there will be mercy in the next, even for my rotten soul.”
“You sound like you’re auditioning for the Komedie Brute,” Destry laughs.
“Mother, Father, pay the rent!” Sofiya crows.
“I can’t my dear, the money’s spent,” Destry choruses instinctively.
Sofiya wipes away an invisible tear, “Gorgeous! We’ll make an actress out of you, yet, Destry Clements.”
“Oh, you most certainly will not,” Destry huffs.
Their laughter fills the air, and Sofiya thinks that maybe there is hope for her rotten soul, after all.
~~~~
The man returns late from the pub wearing only one shoe.
A bottle drained halfway of mauve liquid dangles limply from his pale fingers. The veins in his foot are blue in the half-moon’s light.
He slurs a broken melody. She catches a few words as he passes below her on the street.
“Hmm… perish… light… air… fire… hell… hmmm…”
The man’s name is Danyl Harrop. And he is going to die tonight.
“Hmm… shadow… devil… rot… earth… sun… burn… lose….”
Harrop continues down the road, heedless of the mud on his bare foot. He'd be blackout drunk in the morning if he survived.
He wouldn’t.
Silent as a breeze, steps as soft as downy feathers, she leaps from the streetlight where she was perched.
She strikes.
She is ash and shadow. She is a storm of fire. She is vengeance.
She is death.
Harrop yelps as she pins him against the tree. His face is as white as the moon, with eyes like black craters.
“What’re you doi-” he slurs dazedly, but she silences him with a wave of her hand. He blubbers like a fish on land as he tries to shout for help.
“For King and Country,” says the girl. Stepping away from Harrop, she lets her power hold him against the tree, keeping his muscles upright. She surveys him like an artist would their unfinished masterpiece.
The girl whispers, “Sleep tight, Danyl.”
Flicking her wrist, she snaps his neck. He’s still alive, barely, so she latches on to what little of his mind there is left and strips it like an onion. For a man who is out so late, so drunk, on what the girl remembers as a work-day, he knows too much.
Secrets. They feed this girl, nourish her. There is a skip in her step as she turns away from Harrop; without her supporting his muscles, he collapses against the tree. She leaves his mind just as it goes dark.
There is no need to hide in the treetops upon her return to the city. It gleams just half a mile away, most of which is roiling seawater. As the girl wanders along the road back to Ketterdam, she finds Danyl Harrop’s shoe in a puddle of mud. The girl laughs at the sky. She flips a coin into the shoe, whispers a heartless prayer to her Saints, and moves on.
Back to Ketterdam. Back home.
~~~~
Ok, so that's that! I left it on a bit of a cliffhanger... I may have created a whole plot... so there might be some more coming soon!
all these excellent characters (save Sofiya, Danyl, Kastor and the girl at the end who kills Danyl- who has no name... yet *wink*) belong to the following:
Iseut is @littlegirldorothea's
Destry is @finnick-annie's (I may have made them besties👀👀)
Cherry is @brekkercookie's (they are ALSO besties👀👀 we have a trio omg)
Winter is @cressjacquine's
Lyra is @no-mourners-at-my-funeral's
Malcom is @blackpheonix’s
Firefly is @ask-shadowbon’s
Erin is @lightningboytytonjesper’s
Adali is @apple-bottom-jeansx’s
Roza is @vampire-rights’s
Linnea is @alonlyfangirl's
Yan is @lucentcorrigan’s
Anya is @queenlilith43’s
Freya is @smol-evil-gremlin’s
Lita is @the-whispers-of-moonlight’s
May is @saltyfortunes
and the "Fair winds, bright stars" motto as created by @spicy-tomato-sauce's
oh and the whole Grishaverse is the wonderful @lbardugo's <3
if I missed anyone or you want to tag anyone go ahead!
#shadow and bone#s&b#six of crows#kaz brekker#inej ghafa#nina zenik#matthias helvar#wylan van eck#the crows#pretty people#alina starkov#the darkling#malyen oretsev#mal oretsev#kanej#wesper#helnik#malina#darklina#milo the goat#sankta milo#sankta alina#general kirigan#soc#my writing#fanfic#soc fanfic
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Can you please do 43 with shikaraki and videos games (I think it fits him!) And as always I love you ❤️🥺
I love you too, honey. I can't believe you gave me Shigaraki. But I love you still. I will give you the Crusty Man Child with #43 "Just let me finish this level and I swear I'll go down on you until you cum three times. "
Tomura Shigaraki x Female! Reader.
Prompt #43: “Just let me finish this level and I swear I’ll go down on you until you cum three times.”
TW: Cockwarming, Seggy stuff, alcohol consumption, praise kink. 18+ Minors do not interact.
I do not own Tomura Shiguraki. Horikoshi Kohei does.
If this isn't your cup of tea, blend of spices, or brew of coffee, move on.
It was a lazy day at the LOV’s hideout. It was raining and there were no orders from the Master. Everyone was doing their own thing, either leaving the hideout or staying in their own room as the rain drizzled down outside. You were Shigaraki’s girlfriend and was recruited into the League recently. You were bored and you wandered around the hideout talking to Kurogiri for a bit and sipping on a drink he made you before you asked him where Shigaraki was.
“He should be in your shared room playing his games.” The warped man told you. You thanked him and slid off the stool. You walked to your shared room and knocked on the door. “Ugh, Go away Kurogiri! I want to finish this game in peace!” You heard your boyfriend call from the other side of the door. You sighed and opened the door and walked in. This aggravated the blue haired man and he turned to face you. This was one of the rare instances he didn’t keep the hand that he called “Father” on his face. He probably didn’t need it on since he needed to see the screen to play his games. He was tense until he saw you.
“It’s just you. What do you want?” He asked in a slightly annoyed tone as he died again in his game.
“I’m bored and everyone else is busy. I wanna spend time with you.” You said as you closed the door behind you and sat next to him.
“Fine. You can watch but stay quiet. I need to focus.” He spoke. You nodded and understood. You have watched Shigaraki play his games before and once or twice has he let you play with him. You soon got distracted and leaned against him. You wanted him to play with you. You were tempted to pull the plug on his tv but thought otherwise. You huffed and tried to get annoy him a lot. He cursed under his breath when he died again.
“Stop trying to distract me, Y/n. You know I want to focus on this game.” He spoke. He then looked at you and saw the look on your face that told him that you wanted his undivided attention. He sighed and restarted the level.
“Just let me finish this level and I swear I’ll go down on you until you cum three times.” He said as he began playing the level. You beamed in excitement as you watched and waited for him to win the level. You watched the screen as the health bar on the boss got low and eventually Shigaraki’s character defeated the boss. He set the controller down and turned to face you. He cupped your face without his thumbs touching your face and he kissed you deeply. You kissed him back and he pulled away and push you gently so you laid back on the hardwood floor. He pulled your skimpy shorts down and he laid down between your legs. He hooked your legs over his shoulders before he went down on you. He began to suck at your folds and bite at them. This made you moan out in pleasure and arched your back. He licked at your wet entrance and stuck his tongue in and ate you out. He could feel your silken walls clench around his tongue and you released on his face. He smirked and began the process again until you squirted your juices on his face and he licked them up.
“Good girl. One more time and I’ll let you sit in my lap, ok?” He told you. You whimpered and nodded before his head disappeared between your thighs. He used his tongue on you for what seemed forever before you arched your back and came hard on his face. He licked up your juices and picked you up and pulled you into his lap. You cuddled into him and nuzzled his neck. He smiled and pulled you onto his hardened cock. You moaned out and he smirked.
“You like that, baby? Good. Just stay there while I play another level, ok? I love you so much.” He said and you got settled in for a long night.
What you didn’t know was that a few of the members of the League were up against the door listening to the two of you having a fun time inside the room. Shigaraki was going to not be happy when he found out that they were listening in on your private time.
The end.
Tagging: @i-panic-at-the-disco
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Cat's Bride Chapter One.
Tohru Honda always heard her classmates and cousin talking about the game Zodiac Lover. She was always more fascinated by the talk of a supposed impossible route in the game that broke everything if you tried to go down it. But she never played it.
Yet, when she dies in a freak traffic accident, she finds herself in the world of the game. She learns how to survive, and then she meets the one known as 'the most cursed of all'. And this was the one route in the game that she was the only person to take.
******
The prison was a dark and damp place.
She let out a shuddering sigh as she descended the staircase underground. She didn't care for how dirty it was, or the dampness that seemed to seep into her bones whenever she stayed down there too long. But she kept coming back every day because of the one prisoner held there, one who was said to be too dangerous for the outside world and needed to be kept far away from everyone.
She stumbled on the last step, catching herself before she hit the stone floor. Her eyes began to adjust to the dim light, and they landed on the young man in a cage before her. He lifted his head, his dull eyes brightening upon seeing her and he sat upright.
"You're back," he breathed.
"I always come back. Didn't I promise that?"
"Y-yeah, but a lot of people promise things and don't follow through." He turned away from her, and even in the dim lamplight she could see a blush on his cheeks.
He's so cute.
"Well, why'd you come? I already ate today, and cleaning's pointless."
"I came to spend time with you." She sat with her back against the cage. Vaguely, she heard him moving to put his back against hers as much as he could through the bars.
"You didn't have to come. I'd be fine on my own."
"But then you'd be lonely, and I'd be sad." He mumbled something under his breath.
"Do you… feel sorry for me? Is it pity?"
"It's hard not to pity someone who's living in a cage. But that's not why I keep coming back." She smiled even though she knew he couldn't see it. "You're kind, Kyo, whether you know it or not. You aren't a monster or a creature. You're a person, and one day… you'll walk out of here. And I'll be right beside you when it happens."
"Tohru…" His voice was breaking. She slipped a hand through the bars and his fingers linked with hers. Despite the chill, his hands were warm and she felt much less tired than she had when she'd made the journey down here.
They were silent for a moment.
"…I love you." His voice was almost inaudible, but she heard it.
"…I love you, too." She could feel his hand tighten around hers and her heart ached. This wasn't his fault. He shouldn't have been down there.
But he was the Cat, and to the Somas, that made him guilty.
They sat there, just being in each other's presence, not knowing how much time was passing. Eventually, he pulled his hand away.
"You should get back to the damn Dog's house," he said hoarsely, as if he were holding back tears. "They'll notice if you're gone too long."
"I'll come back." They turned to face each other and Kyo leaned forward. She followed suit, and their lips met between the bars.
I will come back. I had to come from another world to meet you, and I'm not letting you go. Not now, and not until there's no possible way for me to stand beside you.
She stood up and started walking towards the stairs. Before she reached the top, she cast one last longing look towards him. His eyes were on her, full of the same desire to be near her.
Then she was out in the moonlight, alone again.
Tohru Honda was used to being alone.
She'd lost her parents in an accident when she was in her first year of high school, and her grandfather had passed not long after. She'd been left to move in with her Aunt Yuna and cousins Kaori and Goro, none of whom were particularly fond of her. So she'd been left alone going through high school. She hadn't had any close friends, only being acquaintances with most of her classmates.
Back then, she'd tried her best to go along to get along. And on that note, many of her classmates had been obsessed with an otome called Zodiac Lover. She often listened to their conversations, and bits and pieces of the game caught her interest. Though it wasn't enough to get her to actually play it, it was fun to hear them all be so excited over people who didn't even really exist.
More than anything about the game, she was interested in an apparent glitched route within it. There was a character who, at first glance, appeared to be the tenth route in the game; however, whenever a player attempted to go down said route, the game would glitch and break until you restarted it. Then things would go back to normal. Kaori played it, too, and she complained that the developer needed to patch it out (whatever that meant) rather than leave it in. Rumors abounded as to the identity of this character, but Tohru graduated high school and moved out of her aunt's house and that was the last she ever heard of the game.
Then, one day, she was on her way to work.
It wasn't a normal day. Part of her wished she'd taken the day off, but rent would be due soon and she needed all the hours she could get. It marked five years since her parents had died in that accident, a train derailment that had claimed the lives of so many others. She'd go visit their graves after her shift, and then go see her grandfather's.
Would they be proud of me?
The rain poured down around her, making her feel sleepy and wish she'd stayed home even more.
She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear the screeching tires or the screaming of people telling her to get out of the way until it was too late. The headlights shone in her eyes and she squeezed them shut out of reflex. The pain was immediate as she flew through the air and hit the ground. She knew before anybody started tending to her that this was it. She was dying. Tohru Honda was going to be dead at the age of twenty without anyone to truly mourn her passing.
At the very least, she'd see her parents and grandfather again soon.
Y̴͚̺͊o̵̲͉͐͝ŭ̸͚.̸̜̈͝
…me?
Y̸̥̓̚o̴̥͋͜u̵͙͝'̷̯̪͘r̷͖̝͐ȩ̴͝͝ ̶̦̈́͋ť̷̺̬ȟ̵͎͊ȅ̵̹͌ ̵̢͐̌o̵̡̬͠n̵͉̎͛ͅe̵̹͓͂.̴͎͆͜
S̸͚͝a̷̗v̷̢̔e̷͉̎ ̵̻ḥ̵̇i̶̘͂m̴͕̔.̴̮͌
Save him!
Who are you?
He needs you. You need to find him before it's too late.
Who? Who needs me?
The most cursed of them all.
Tohru gasped as she opened her eyes.
To her shock, she was no longer lying in a puddle on the street. Instead she was kneeling in the hallway of a house of some kind. She certainly didn't recognize it… nor did she recognize the clothes she was wearing. Gone was her work uniform, and in its place was some kind of old-fashioned kimono. Like she was a maid in one of those awful dramas her aunt had watched near-religiously every day that she could remember.
"Honda!"
She jumped at the sudden yell of her last name and looked to see another woman in a matching uniform. The woman was older with graying streaks in her honey-brown hair, and she was clearly not pleased with Tohru.
"S-sorry!" Tohru gasped. "I'm so sorry!"
"Sorry won't get this place cleaned! The master's coming home today, and this house needs to be spotless before he does!"
"Y-yes, ma'am."
"Honestly, I don't know why the Somas even hired you. Lazy, good-for-nothing girl…"
Tohru felt her heart racing.
She'd never heard of the Somas before. They certainly weren't her employers. What was…?
Soma.
The name did ring out as familiar in her head. She tried her best to remember, and that was when she could see the name written on the screen of her cousin's tablet as she played out a game. And this same uniform, on a character in that same game that had enraptured so many girls her age.
She didn't want to believe it. But there was only one way to be sure.
Taking a deep breath, she smacked her cheeks in an effort to wake herself up. It didn't work. She was still there. Her eyes went to the bucket and rag before her, and to the dirty floor. Well, if she was stuck here, she might as well do something that was at least mildly familiar. She got to work, scrubbing the floor like she did back home and before too long it was as spotless as her apparent superior had wanted. The older woman returned and nodded.
"Good. I see you just need a bit of encouragement."
"Yes, ma'am. I promise I won't slack off again." It was just like dealing with her boss at work. Then again, this woman was her boss now.
"Good girl. Don't forget to wash up before you make the master's dinner. He's having a guest tonight." The woman gestured down the hall towards what was most definitely a kitchen.
Tohru nodded in confirmation and stood up, taking the bucket with her. She glanced down and realized that while her clothes and location had changed, her face was the same. How was this possible? She couldn't remember if there was ever a character like this in the actual game. Kaori would know, but Kaori wasn't there.
She let out a sigh and headed towards where her boss had pointed. The kitchen was largely empty, save for the ingredients, and she felt that sense of familiarity she had while cleaning. This was something else she could do. Cooking was one of her favorite ways to pass the time, and she hadn't cooked for someone else since she'd moved out of her aunt's house. So rather than dread or confusion, she felt excited.
I have to make the most of this until I find out what's going on.
Save him.
That voice again. The one that had spoken when she was struck by the car. Who did she need to save? Who were they talking about?
She shook her head. Right now, she had to cook dinner for the house's master and his guest, whoever they might be.
She rolled up her sleeves and got to work chopping vegetables. Everything was so similar to back home that it was startling. Sure, the tools were a little less sophisticated but they did the jobs they needed to do. And even though she'd never worked with a stove or oven like the ones they had here, she already knew that those kinds of things tended to do what they wanted depending on age or use, so she knew to check them often to make sure nothing burned and everything cooked properly.
"Tohru!"
She turned around to see another young woman in a maid's uniform entering the kitchen. The newcomer had golden blonde hair and she was taller than most of the people Tohru had ever known.
"Hi!" Tohru greeted her.
"Man, Hamasaki put you on this by yourself again? You've got to stop being such a pushover."
"I know, but… cooking's so easy! And it's fun!"
"If you say so. I just came to see if you needed a hand."
"I won't say no to some help! Could you put those veggies in the pot, please?"
"No problem."
Tohru suddenly felt awful. Obviously this girl was her friend, but she didn't even know her name! How terrible must she look to this person?
"Um… this is going to sound really dumb, but… who are you?"
"Jeez, cleaning duty's gotten to you. I'm Arisa Uotani. We've been friends since we got here?"
"Right! Sorry, Uo-chan!" The name slipped out so easily, as if she'd been calling the other girl that for years.
"It's all right. Hanajima and I know how spacey you get."
Spacey? Then… this Tohru Honda really is me?!
"So, er, do you know anything about the master's guest?"
"Not much. He's supposed to be a member of the main family, just like Shigure. All I know is he's supposed to be a real prince of a character."
"Oh, really? Well, thank you for your help. I've got it from here, if Hamasaki has anything else she needed you to do…?"
"Yeah, thanks. I'll see you later."
Shigure's the master of the house. I think he was Kaori's favorite route in the game. But a prince… I know who it is. Nobody would stop talking about him in school. It's Yuki. It's got to be.
There was no doubt in her mind now. She was in the world of Zodiac Lover, and as it stood, she had no way out.
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