#I'll probably do a better traditional version of this

[epic-and-kitty]

A bit of Peachy fanart for Team Future! @mushroomminded I hope I did her justice (I was gonna include her knife but I didn't know if that would get reported on the post) (if you see an OctoKitty walking around with this post, that's me! Feel free to give it a fresh!)

[texas-gothic]

Dracula Daily Prep: Gather Your Paprikash!

It's that time of year again. Even as we speak, Jonathan Harker has departed for Transylvania, and the unhallowed halls of Castle Dracula. And as he makes his way towards that foreboding country, he will encounter a singular, most enticing of dishes: Paprika Hendl, or as we might know it better, Chicken Paprikash!

This traditional Central European dish explodes in popularity each May as we all gather around our virtual mess hall to enjoy the spirit of this most influential of gothic novels. Perhaps you yourself are considering throwing together a pot this year? Well, if you are, let this be your guide.

So, first, let's discuss the most important of the ingredients here: authentic hungarian paprika. Now, the recipe I first used last year called only for Sweet Paprika, but I personally found that version to be a little bland. I'm remedying this by adding some Hot Paprika as well. However, this is just my personal experimentation. Hungarian Hot Paprika can in fact be very hot, so if you're not comfortable with anything too spicy, feel free to opt only for the Sweet Paprika.

(Both of these I had to order online.)

Next, is another very important addition. As youre gathering your basic cornerstones of cooking (namely yellow onion, roma tomato, and garlic for this recipe) you may find yourself passing up on something that could vastly improve your dish. I'm talking, of course, about Hungarian Wax Peppers. These peppers range in heat, from meak and mild to slightly hotter than you'd average jalapeño. As per instruction, you should only use one. But on my end, I found the single pepper to be a little underwhelming, and I had trouble picking out it's flavor. So, this year, I'll be using two of them.

I got these from Central Market, an upmarket gorcer on Westheimer. They're a cousin of HEB, and you can find one or two in every major city in Texas. If you're elsewhere, try an alternative like Whole Foods, or try to find a European or International food market in your area.

Next, let's talk chicken. You can't have Chicken Paprkiash without the chicken, after all.

You're going to want to go with dark meat cuts for this. Traditionally the dish would use a mix of legs and thighs. Personally, I suggest using only the thighs, which you'll want to get bone-in and skin-on. The thigh provides a flater surface for browning than the leg, as well as more meat.

(A note on food safety, raw chicken will usually only last 2-3 days in the fridge. So you'll want to grab that fairly close to the day you're actually cooking this. If not, you can do what I'll be doing, and sticking it in the freezer until about 24 hours before I start cooking.)

So, as you gather your meat, produce, and spice you're probably asking yourself, "what on Earth am I going to be eating this with?" And the answer to that is spaetzle! A popular dumpling present in lots of Central European cooking, this is exactly what you need to tie this all together.

Now, while you should be able to find some in the international isle of most major grocers, you might also have to visit an international food store, or perhaps something more upmarket. If none of these options work, then there are a variety of other side dishes that work just as well. Egg noodles are a very popular choice, and in my very American attempt last year, I found that mashed potatoes work especially well.

Now that you've got all these things together, you're very nearly done. All that's left is the thickener. Paprikash is thickened using a blend of flour, heavy whipping cream, and sour cream. We'll get onto preparing this mixture in my post on actually cooking the paprikash, but until then, acquiring them should be a cake walk at any place food items are sold.

Now that will conclude the actual grocery list for just the Paprikash itself, but I do have one more pointer on how to really liven up this meal. Now, if you're under 21 or if perhaps you take after our dear, depraved, beloathed Count

Then you can skip this next bit. As a wine professional myself, I find that a well paired glass can add a tremendous flare to nearly any already great dinner. In the case of something like Chicken Paprkiash, and keeping with the Central European theme, I could hardly think of a better match than a good German Pinot Noir, also known as a Spatburgunder. Pinot from Germany typically has a very light body and a refreshing acidity that plays very well with the rich and creamy sauce of Chicken Paprikash. The palate of earth and red fruit should always pair nicely with the smoke of the paprika, as well as being a general good partner for any chicken. I myself am going with this 2020 Rheingau from August Kesseler.

And with that, we are done! Hit those checkout isles and make sure to get home before dark. Terrible things have sway over the world once the sun has gone down. So if the crowd does keep you locked up until nightfall, make sure to graciously accept any crucifixes given to you by kindly, elderly grandmothers and inn keepers. But whatever you do, make sure to pop in on Friday, when I'll be sharing a step by step guide on taking these ingredients and turning them into a dinner that will make our good friend Jonathan go red as a fire truck!

Happy Dracula Week everybody!

[joydoesathing]

Do you have any interpretations on what could the doppels represent for each neighbour in your AU eg. Stitchface, Hoon lady Frances, brain doppel Steph, Peach Peach, etc?

i actually have for only a few specific doppels (but i haven't got a fully fleshed out explanation just yet for all of them, so i'll share the ones i do have in mind):

the stitchface doppel - represents nacho's past cowardice (running away, turning a blind eye and refusing to speak to frances when he found out that he got her pregnant)

scarlet milk doppel- represents frances' attempt to murder someone in the past (nacho)

steph mole doppel - this is more of a personal attack on steph's part from the doppels than a deeper interpretation but the mole is supposed to mirror the same mole her dad had

hoon lady - represents frances' past psychosis

exposed brain doppel : a manifestation of an inner insecurity albertine has

this is just some new background lore but i'll just put it in a nutshell: in their family, they all adhere to quite traditional values of the good ol' days. despite being one of the big sister figures of the younger cousins, albertine wasn't really all that well-liked by her other older relatives due to her rather brash, confrontational and hot-headed personality, which in their eyes isn't how a woman in their family should be like. they always say this jokingly in family get-togethers, but they suggest that she probably should get a lobotomy if she ever wants a chance to get married or into any relationship.

they say "no man likes a negative, naggy nancy". "it's better for a lady to just be happy in thoughtless bliss" .

of course, albertine chooses not to let that comment get to her, but sometimes she does ponder about it.

so, the doppel is a manifestation of that thought.

peach peach - an extreme flanderized version of the ideal woman of the peachman family ; not a single other thought going on their mind and happy

[theplantbish]

Käärijä's great glögi tasting video

Translation under the cut

It's Käärijä here, hello. We are doing my favorite thing, glögi tasting!

Here we have 7 different kinds of glögi here if I counted correctly, some of them look a bit lighter some look a bit thicker and now we should rate these and guess what these flavors are

Käärijä's great glögi tasting video

First flavor: light glögi

Pretty good! Pretty good! Pretty watery, but good. Rating for this, I'll give 3/5, this is like, for thirst, you can drink this when you're thirsty. This is light glögi, obviously, this is made from different grapes.

Second flavor: dark glögi

This is a lot thicker, this is more, like, bitter. Like this, this is, I'll give this 2/5. This is dark.

Third flavor: blueberry and spruce sprout glögi

This isn't my favorite, is this some blackcurrant glögi? I'll give this one 2/5 too

Fourth flavor: apple glögi

This is that... Does this have a little bit of an apple flavor? Is this some apple glögi? I'll give this 2/5

Fifth flavor: strawberry glögi

Oh... This has an interesting smell to it. This doesn't work at all. Is this strawberry? Weird flavor, strawberry and glögi. I'll give this a 1/5. These haven't gotten good grades so far.

Sixth flavor: glögi tea

This is warm. This doesn't seem to have much sugar in it. What does this remind me of? This is some grandma's sugar free version. I'll give this one 2/5, what is this? If you'd put a bit of honey in there it would probably be a 3/5

Seventh flavor: traditional red Marli, known to be K's favorite glögi, will he recognize the flavor?

This is more on the traditional side, this is my thing. This is a 5/5. Is this Marli? Marli just is my thing, can't help it

This was surprisingly good, this light one, I liked it. I need to test this one (the glögi tea) with honey and it might get a better score. Strawberry didn't work at all, apple was alright. These two over here were kinda similar to each other. Marli showed them once again, it's hard to beat

[mayhem-is-aether]

Kieran Duffy art

I'm trying to get better at digitally rendering things, I feel a lot more comfortable doing traditional sketches and then fixing them up in a software

I like how I did the hair shading this time, I'll probably keep with that method

I stared with a traditional sketch, I was really just practicing 3/4 view and I drew a hat for practice, then suddenly it became Kieran

In the digital version I changed his nose to be more accurate to how his nose actually looks

[libby-for-life]

So, can you do a sick one-shot with Adam and Lucifer? Maybe Adam has a fever and Lucifer reluctantly takes care of him. But then he starts to hallucinate things. Stuff that makes Lucifer question things about what he believes.

Oh? A challenge, hu? Since you didn't specify if this was my version of Adamsapple, I'm just going to assume that this is more traditional Adamsapple and go from there.

Sinner!Adam under contract with Lucifer.

Lucifer stood before Charlie with a sigh, feeling irritated. "Are you telling me that there isn't anyone else who can take care of him? I don't have time to deal with a whiney brat who is probably faking all this just to get attention," he grumbled. The devil was not convinced that Adam was genuinely sick. He wouldn't put it past him to fake it to receive special treatment.

Charlie replied, "Normally, I would take care of it, but I have a lot of paperwork to deal with." She gestured towards her desk, which was piled high with papers, making Lucifer wince. "Vaggie is busy with Niffty, Angel Dust and Husk are working, and Alastor is not an... option."

Lucifer shivered at the thought of Alastor taking care of Adam. The devil was under contract to protect the idiot from harm, but it would end badly for Adam if Alastor was involved. "Alright, I'll do it," he said, resigned.

"Thank you, Dad!" Charlie beamed at him, making him feel a little better. Teleporting to Adam's room, Lucifer hoped to catch him in the act of faking it but found himself in a dark room with the curtains drawn. The only thing he could see was a lump on Adam's bed.

Frustrated, the devil snapped his fingers, and the lights turned on. Adam let out a whimper, making Lucifer roll his eyes. "Oh, stop it. Nobody is buying this pity act," he said sternly.

When he got no reply, he growled again, "The hard way it is then." He stomped over to the sinner's bed and ripped the blankets off him. "Get up now!" Lucifer was done playing games. If Adam was going to continue acting this way, he didn't mind using force to beat some sense into him.

However, to his surprise, Adam didn't yell, swear, or even glare at him. Instead, he let out another whimper. This time, Lucifer actually looked at Adam and saw just how different he looked. His gray skin had an ashy color, his breath was labored, and his shirt was missing, revealing how sweaty he was. It was clear that Adam was genuinely sick.

Lucifer felt slightly guilty for making Adam uncomfortable when it was clear he was miserable with a fever.

Placing a hand on the sinner's forehead, he hissed at the heat. "Oh, you are sick, aren't you?" He murmured. "Alright, let's sit you up."

Soon, Adam was propped up on pillows, wrapped up in comfortable blankets, and looking at Lucifer with dazed eyes. The devil knew that the demon wasn't truly seeing him due to his sickness.

Gently draping a cool cloth onto Adam's forehead, he noticed how the sinner's eyes followed his every move.

"You're so beautiful...." Adam slurred.

Lucifer froze and looked at him confused. "Hu?" He must've been really out of it if he was complimenting him.

"Beautiful...so beautiful. I can see why she left me...I didn't stand a chance."

Lucifer grimaced when he realized that Adam must've been talking about Eden. Whether it was Eve or Lilith he was referring to was still being questioned in Lucifer's mind.

"Let's not waste your energy." Lucifer finally said.

Adam whimpered again but he continued talking. "Lilith was beautiful too...but she didn't like me...why did she not like me?"

"Maybe because you were a narcissistic dick who wanted to control her?" Lucifer said with a glare. Any kind of sympathy he had for the sinner was gone. How could Adam even ask that?!

Adam shook his head, clearly too out of it to understand that the devil was insulting him. "That's not what she said..." He slurred out. A look of sadness came over Adam and, to Lucifer's growing discomfort, looked like he was going to cry.

"She told me I was disgusting...that she didn't want to stand next to someone so ugly." Lucifer was too stunned to speak. What?

"She didn't like me talking. I talk too much. She liked to gag me when she couldn't stand the noise. It hurt...." Adam was now crying, big tears rolling down his chubby cheeks.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Lucifer immediately asked. If he hated how Lilith treated him, especially if it hurt, then why didn't he make her stop? Adam certainly never backed down from a fight. In fact, he was usually starting them.

"I wanted her to like me..." Adam replied with a groan. His breathing seemed labored. "If I did what she wanted...then she'll like me....even if it hurt. Even if it made me cry." Adam furrowed his eyebrows, his hazy eyes looking into the distance. "No...she didn't like me crying. She said it was annoying and ugly so I don't do it anymore." It was ironic with the tears streaming down his face.

Adam turned his golden eyes to the devil who flinched at the devastating but resigned look on his face. "I guess I didn't do it good enough...she found someone better...someone smarter...."

A large hand cupped Lucifer's cheek. "Who can compete with angels?" And then he passed out. Lucifer didn't know that he was holding his breath until he started gasping. What the fuck?

[ghostofhyuck]

I'll always be the lucky one. ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

how nct dream court you.

‧˚ʚ ───────── ₊‧꒰ა ୨ৎ ໒꒱ ‧₊ ───────── ɞ˚‧

AN: To the filo-czennie who requested this, thank you! <3 to give more context. Courting is a tradition that Filipinos do wherein they do gestures, actions, and such to prove to a girl that they're worthy to be their significant other. (think of it as someone swooning a girl in order to win their heart.) I'm pretty sure some other countries also have courting tradition but it's common here in the Philippines! <3 (I wrote a filipino version for this one. this is for the filo-czennies hehe.)

Mark Lee

Let's be REAL. He'll do any music-related when it comes to courting you. He'll be the type to write lyrics or maybe compose a song that is dedicated only for you. If he's feeling it, he'll write a whole mixtape about you because that's just how he can show his love for you! If not, I feel like Mark would be the type to give you a playlist full of songs that reminds him of you!! He's also a family man so I bet that he'll also need to win your family's vote when he's courting you. And your family likes him because he's such a gentleman to begin with. <3

Huang Renjun

I feel like Renjun would be the type to give you gifts and what-nots if he's courting you. He's the type to spoil you because you deserve it and he loves your reactions whenever you open his gifts. It can be either expensive type of gifts like jewelries or cute trinkets that reminds him of you! Either way, you appreciate his efforts. Also! I think that Renjun's other love language is food, so I bet that he's the type to bring you to a lot of food dates, (hotpot of course!) or would send you food whenever you're craving food! It could be as simple like a cup of coffee when you're in the middle of your study, or a batch of cookies because you were craving for it!

Lee Jeno

Oh definitely a quality time type of man. Jeno wants to know you better and vice versa, so he makes sure that you two spend much time together! It can be either going out for a date, any type of date! (amusement park, food date, and maybe a mall date) or just you two staying indoor, doing mundane things, (watching movies, playing games, or just cuddling.) Even though you two are still in the courting stage, it already feels domestic whenever you two stay indoors. Also Jeno would be the type to use words, probably loves comforting you and gives you tons of compliments. 

Lee Donghyuck

I believe in clingy Haechan so I feel like even during the courting stage, he's already clingy to you but not too much! He's just the type to hold hands with you, hug you before you two separate ways, and kisses you if you let him be. Just anything where he can hold onto you will be enough for him. He also loves endless calls too since he's talkative, I feel like if you two haven't seen each other in a while, calls will be his way to know what happened to you, and vice versa. He'll ask you how's your day and he'll be so into the dramas that's happening to you, probably knows your best friend's cheating boyfriend at some point that he wants to fight him. 

Na Jaemin

BLUSHING RN but I'm sorry, Jaemin has to be the sweetest out of all Dreamies. He has too! He just knows how to swoon you and he's such a gentleman! He's an act of service guy, so I bet when he was still courting you, he'll be the type to pick you up from your place and walk you to school and vice versa. He never missed unless it's an emergency! He loves this mundane things, holding your hands, and also carries your bag on the way lol. Jaemin probably knows what you want and you don't like, so he takes notes of it everytime you two go out on a date. So you'll be surprise that he remembers while he'll be smug about it. 

Zhong Chenle

Chenle thinks that courting you means taking you out to multiple dates and giving you gifts. It can be the former or the latter, and sometimes it can be both! You swear that Chenle's spoiling you too much but that's just how he show to you that he likes you and wants to be your boyfriend. Whenever you two go on a date, he take notes of what you want, like when you two are at the amusement park gift shop and he saw you staring at this cute capybara plushie, you'll be surprise that at the end of the date, he gives you a plastic bag that contains the plushie. He'll probably loves teasing you too but that's because he thinks you're cute when you're annoyed. 

Park Jisung

Another guy who loves giving you gifts when he was courting you. Flowers. Mostly flowers, he'll be the type who thinks careful of what flowers to give you, and would be so happy explaining to you that the flowers that he gave you symbolizes love and happiness. You find his efforts sweet and cute. Aside from that, I feel like Jisung is good with words. He's VERY flirty with you that sometimes it caught you off-guard, knowing that he has a shy demeanor when he first started courting you. He'll probably cringe when he's all alone, remembering all the things he said to you. He'll curl up in a corner and thinks that you find him cringe but the truth is, you were very flustered!

[rainbowvally]

Because this is still taking forever:

I'm nuts and decided to draw 4 more doodles??? So it'll take even more time now???? In my head I was like "hmm well, I should probably include something for when he's blue at the end of the first movie, but if I do that I need another drawing so it's still even-" and then somehow that doubled-

So here's the traditional and digital sketch versions of those to hold you guys off while I'm still working through this all. ☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆

☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆

I'm thinking about editing the time lapse so there's a version of the process but also one from image to image in order of when they happen. (Likely for here only since I might make it longer that twitter's limit) I complicated that just a little by tossing in their FFS outfits cause I kind of want the hug to be last buttt I'll figure it out.

Anyhow, if this experience is teaching me anything, it's that I hate drawing Branch's hair, but also Poppy's? 😭 I struggle with getting his to look right every time. For her it might just be a situation of me figuring out how I want it to flow/look and then it'll be easier but right now yikes! Consistency is definitely a struggle there, but I think I'm slowly getting the proportions I want down more. (I tried to look at how other go about it but something doesn't want to click in my head~)

Also Do we think the line work is good so far? I felt like I was being too clean about it so I redid this one again, but I can't tell if it's better? I basically tried to be a little messier and didn't double up the layers as much/ (I am definitely not doing rendering by the way. It would be a mistake -) ☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆

☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆•♡•☆

[detailtilted]

NEW Enhanced Edition - CHICON 2010 - J2M Main Panel

Direct link to video. Link to YouTube channel. (18 videos available.)

My latest video is up! This is a rare J2M panel. 90% of the video came from the files sent to me by the amazing AgtSpooky. 87% of the audio came from videos on YouTube that @hils79 graciously granted me permission to use. Their audio was quite clear compared to the others and it made the subtitling process less difficult than I expected it to be with all three of them on stage. The rest of my source credits are on the video description.

What's Next?

That's my last CHICON 2010 video. I've started working on VANCON 2011, which is the very last convention that I have videos from AgtSpooky on. After that, I'll circle back to some of the older and more challenging conventions that I had skipped and I'll try to bring order to the chaos. 😅

There will be three VANCON 2011 videos -- the solo Misha panel, the J2 breakfast, and the J2 main panel. They'll be published in that order. That will probably be my last solo Misha panel for the foreseeable future. The focus of this project has always been Jared and Jensen, but I decided to do the two Misha panels for which I had good videos from AgtSpooky. He will of course still be included whenever he's in panels with Jared and/or Jensen at conventions I work on.

I've taken advantage of some days off work to throw a lot of extra time at this project. At my normal pace, it probably would have been 8 weeks before I had another J2 video out. I've already spent the past 3 months working through a convention without any "traditional" J2 panels and I miss them! So I've made a lot of progress on Misha's video already and I hope to have it out in a couple weeks. (It's a 54-minute video.) After that, it will probably take my usual 3 weeks to get the 30-minute J2 Breakfast out.

Before/After Comparison Photo

A recap for anyone not familiar with this project…

In December 2023, I started this project to enhance old convention videos. I'm upscaling the videos and making other visual improvements, adding extra content to clarify various references, and adding human-generated, color-coded subtitles so you can better understand the sometimes-chaotic audio. The subtitles can be auto-translated to other languages via YouTube.

My goal is to publish the best, most complete, and most watchable versions of these older convention panels yet seen, but this is only possible thanks to the fans who captured the footage in the first place and were generous enough to share it with other fans. My video descriptions on YouTube will always credit my sources.

If you have any old convention videos you'd be willing to contribute to this project, please message me! I can also be reached at DetailTilted@gmail.com. If I can get them to upscale (I can't always), I'd happily send the upscaled files back to you for your own collection whether I use them or not.

[quibble-auk]

Yk what no one asked for? My art process.

At least when it comes to drawing transformers... I don't put a lot of my other stuff up here haha. This guide probably won’t help with drawing TFP stuff tho. I like sticking to my cubes.

Who knows. Maybe this can help someone. Or provide amusement cause I have no idea what I'm doing. Just thought l'd share some stuff lol. And an unpopular art opinion.

So yeah, my secrets. Which like.... my art isn’t incredibly impressive or anything but... you get the point.

If you ever really wanted to try out whatever my style is called, here’s your guide. Along with a tutorial on how I draw Sunstreaker, but it’s like 5 steps lol.

I apologize in advance for the sheer amount of yapping I’m about to do. I’m just trying to makes sense

~~~~~~~~~~~

This is the part where I share my tips and tricks yippee! Small disclaimer, I just kinda do half of this stuff as a go. There is no real order to this. I’m basically just explaining how my style works (despite how much my style varies tbh)

There’s a general build for the body that I’m pretty sure most people have figured out. The head, chest, torso, and weird hip thingy. Then the legs are broken into two main segments, the arms are broken into three, shoulder, upper arm, lower arm.

Here we go, unpopular art opinion rant.

When I make my base I usually work from the head down. Don’t be afraid to use the lasso tool to readjust the sizes of different components. If the head you started with has the right angle but is too small, lasso it and make it bigger. If ur doing traditional, sorry, you’re just gonna have to redraw it.

I’ll usually try and clean up overlapping lines, but I wanted yall to see the shapes before I did that.

Then we can start adding details. I look at other artist’s designs and the source material and pick out reoccurring traits that will help make the character easily identifiable.

I tend to add the most detail to the head simply because that’s what is commonly used to identify characters. Usually when designing my version of a character I allow myself to kinda make up details for this part.

But do feel free to add your own details to make sure people can tell it’s “your” design!

These are still very simple shapes and not detailed whatsoever. We are keeping it basic on purpose.

Very loose shapes, extremely vague idea. Just putting down the most identifiable parts that are important in building it, if that makes sense. I put down the bare minimum for this.

You really don't want to over complicate things. It makes it difficult for the viewer to figure out what's going on. A crowded design is distracting and unappealing. The simpler the better.

So now we have our sketch layer done. Because I'm impatient, it's line art time baby!

I end up just kind of feeling it out with line art. There will be some changes between the sketch and the line art. I’ll also use line weight to just general shading stuff sometimes. In this one it’s not very consistent but I was kinda losing motivation cause… adhd my beloved.

This is pretty self explanatory. Use your sketch to outline what you want, adding details as you go. I'll still leave my lines pretty loose and messy for most of these, just because it adds a bit more... character? Makes it feel more authentic? But feel free to clean it up as much as your little heart desires.

Smth im really passionate about is not overcomplicating the designs and crowding it. I know I already mentioned it once but… yeah.

While adding a bunch of detail can be cool, if not executed right, it can become overwhelming and difficult to understand visually. Keep it simple, you don't need to add every crease or seam. Just the important ones that can help a character stand out or fill in an awkward large space.

Usually after that l'll just put flat color down. Nothing fancy. I like to just do greyscale but you can go crazy. I'm not stopping you.

But adding a flat color under your line art helps pull together the sketch. It makes it easier for people to understand what is and isn't a character and makes it simpler to understand the character’s shape.

If I have several characters in one picture l'll usually make them separate colors to help make sure you can easily identify them as different people. I usually try to keep in mind the characters actual color when doing this. People with darker colors get a darker gray.

I’ll also try and give a different color to an object they are interacting with so it doesn’t get confused with the character themselves.

The entire reason I gave Sunstreaker a gun was to show this. I hate drawing guns.

These are also rarely perfect. As long as it's not extremely obvious that you're out of the lines, no one will notice. At least that’s been my experience.

I usually do this on separate layers

There's a lot of personalization when it comes to drawing and I don't know if I explained all of this very well. Ironically I don't really think much about how I'm doing it, I just... do it.

If you need any further explaining, I'll try my best to help. And if you made it this far ive got mad respect for you. I’m pretty sure I’m just rambling for half of this lol.

Have fun creating!!!!

[fire-fira]

I am not sure how much you are into analysis but I want to ask. Do you think raph isn’t as good of a fighter compared to his brothers? because I have a feeling either he’s holding back when sparring with them over fear of harming them or he’s not as good as them.

Anon, you just made my day because this gives me an excuse to nerd out at length. (Though apologies that it took me so long to get this fully written out and posted.)

Disclaimer before I launch into it in full: to fairly compare Raph to his brothers I'm going to do a brief run-down of the three of them before breaking into the full details on him. A lot of this is built on extrapolation from details in various canons and at times might edge toward headcanon territory, though I'll be trying to stick with what's actually present.

With that out of the way--

Comparing Raph to His Brothers

So to start with, I can only fairly do this deep-dive by briefly touching on each of his brothers before getting to Raph himself. I'll say upfront that I think it's less a question of which one is the "best fighter" and more that they're each different types of fighters, each with their own strengths and weaknesses and which might land any of them in the position of "the best" depending on the circumstances.

Leo

Strengths: This is an extrapolation based on various iterations (2003, 2007, 2012, 2014/2016, ROTTMNT, 2023, Batman vs. TMNT, and a little bit of the IDW comics), but Leo strikes me as a tactician-- as the guy who can extrapolate to fifteen different possibilities for the outcome of a fight and fifteen steps ahead of everyone else on each of those possibilities. At his best he knows how to play to his brothers' strengths, put them where needed, and let them go to do their own thing. He's also persistent and willing to put himself through his paces over and over again until he 'perfects' what he wants to learn how to do. As a "traditional" (romanticized) example of a warrior, he is the golden boy of the family. Rise Leo might be a little less likely to get every step 'just so,' but most iterations of him aim to be as flawless as possible in terms of his combat skills. In his ideal world, he will never have a misplaced swing of a sword or inflict any damage he doesn't intend to. That depth of knowledge and highly-trained skill can be damned terrifying for his enemies if it's taken to its fullest extreme.

Weaknesses: His perfectionism and desire to get things 'just right' is a double-edged sword. In the 2003 series it got wrapped up in his PTSD and the need to never make a critical mistake again (which... didn't work out well for him-- hi, shades of Raph at his worst); in the 2007 movie it led him to think his efforts to learn how to be a better leader weren't "good enough" and kept him away from home for two years; in the 2012 series it led him to ignore critical injuries and try to bully himself into being 'better' (when realistically what he did during the farmhouse arc probably would have permanently destroyed one of his knees); in the 2014/2016 movies it led him to temporarily damage his relationship with his brothers by spilling over the worst of his internal perfectionistic vitriol onto them; and in Rise it at times has turned him into a showoff who'll act without letting the others in on his plan (which can backfire horrendously in a worst-case scenario) because if he does it without telling others what he's going to do, then he gets bragging rights if it works out like he planned. Underlying all this is what could turn into an unmanageable case of anxiety depending on the version of Leo and how personally stable he is, as well as how susceptible he is to ruminating over where he feels he went wrong. To say nothing of how many versions of Leo have a GIANT self-sacrificing streak when it comes to their families. Under the right circumstances-- and if someone really intended to make it hurt-- they could easily play all that against Leo and get him to freeze due to overthinking. (Though getting him to that level would take an extreme case and some severe emotional damage to weaponize his guilt.)

Speed: OKAY. Here's where things get a little more cut-and-dried in my opinion-- if a fight is down to just speed anyway. Leo might be pretty neck-in-neck with Raph in terms of speed, maybe just a touch faster due to (generally) being more lean-built than Raph. Leo's not a tank; yes he can fight in close quarters or mid-range and hold his own, but if he can then he tends to be 'slippery' about it. He's not going to batter away at an enemy if he can spin out of range before darting back in and dodging whatever hits he can. If it's just a matter of speed without any other factors involved, then there's a good chance Leo will win in a fight against Raph. If it's a question of strength and endurance though... Well, I'll expand further on that when I get to Raph.

Adaptability: This is something that is absolutely dependent on which version of Leo we're talking about and how hung up that version is on his plans without taking the general chaos of life into account. 2012 and 2014/2016 Leo both are guilty of getting so hung up on the idea that their approach to a combat situation is the right way that they fail to plan for the fact that their brothers' ways of doing things isn't their way of doing things. Which blows up in their faces spectacularly sometimes. IF it's a version of Leo who's more likely to fail to take into account his brothers' differing styles, then Raph might easily play that against him and deliberately do things Leo would find unpredictable (though probably not as much as Mikey, lbr). For versions of him that are better about knowing that his own approach isn't the only/'best' approach, then Leo would be better able to roll with whatever Raph throws his way, within reason.

Combat Style/Approach: Mid-to-close-range, tactician, and definitely NOT a grappler. Yes, his skills and training have him moving with muscle memory when he needs to, but even so, there's a split-second awareness of what his opponent(s) could do and instinctively reacting based on what he's met with. A lot of that means he has to be free to move and avoid getting held in place, or things might go bad quickly.

Donnie

Strengths: No matter which iteration of Donnie you're talking about, you're generally talking about an engineer who's able and willing to casually heft up and carry around a car engine with his bare hands. And considering (with a quick google search) it looks like the average car engine weighs anywhere between 300 to 700 pounds, that alone is proof enough that no one in their right mind would ever want to be punched by Donnie. And considering there are instances where he's able to temporarily support the weight of himself and his brothers (a couple of scenes in the 2003 series are what immediately come to my mind, but that's just my favorite iteration showing itself) it's proof that he has that strength not just in his arms. To give you an idea of just how much weight that implies he can lift, here's a size and weight comparison of some of the largest turtle species currently living.*

Notice anything? Like how... Oh... I dunno... a 4-foot-long Loggerhead sea turtle can weigh up to 400 pounds? Or a 3-foot-long Leatherback sea turtle can weigh 550 pounds on the light end? (Note: this is not meant to be snarky or condescending, just a simple statement of fact that all signs point to these boys are fucking HEAVY.) And that huge amount of weight relative to their body size seems to be pretty consistent among turtle species from what I've seen with my digging around. Which logically implies that the same holds true for these boys, and if we play fast-and-loose with the idea that we can roughly translate length to height... well... For general weight of the boys, I tend to assume at least 200 pounds, at least for those under and up to about 5-foot-tall. For the 2014/2016 set I might even suggest somewhere between 400-500 pounds-- but roughly comparing weight to size with that table of large turtle species, I'm probably severely underestimating their weight all across the board. Being generous, hypothetically saying all four of the 2003 turtles are about 240, that then means there are moments in the 2003 series where Donnie is temporarily lifting around 960 pounds, including himself. AND THAT MIGHT BE A SEVERE UNDERESTIMATION. Terrifying, right? So yes, Donnie is unquestionably strong as hell and maintains that strength by working on his various projects, and a full-force hit from him would land someone in a hospital-- if they're lucky. The other main thing working for him is that he's a tech genius. No, he's typically not as rigid or disciplined in his training as Leo is, but if he has access to tech and distance then he has a whole host of weapons and traps he can bring to the party (something which Rise Donnie excels at in spades). Raph's a much more physical direct-confrontation fighter, but Donnie has the capacity to turn entire environments against his enemies, depending on the means he has at his disposal.

Weaknesses: For better or worse, Donnie's primary personal strength-- the one he leans on above all else-- is his intellect and being able to puzzle things out. And again, he's an engineer: yes he can lift and move that terrifying amount of weight, but he's usually not doing it at speed. (Because let's be real, moving heavy and potentially very breakable machinery is not something you want to do quickly when you want to be able to use or repurpose said machinery.) He's not a slouch when it comes to his ninjutsu training, but there's a reason why the concept of Donnie pulling the 'I'm too busy to train right now' is a widespread fandom concept. It doesn't necessarily mean that he's not 'as good of a ninja', but more that he's not a 'traditional' ninja and has had to adapt things to his preferred methods. Yes he has a lot of physical strength, but he prefers to keep a distance from his opponent(s) if possible. Doing so, having that distance, gives him more time to plan and respond-- because unlike Leo, a lot of iterations of Donnie don't have that ingrained ability to read the possible actions their opponent(s) might take and respond on a dime (or at least not to the same level). Raph's tendency to brute force things-- something which Donnie technically could do but clearly does not like to-- might be somewhat unpredictable for him, especially because that puts Raph in close and doesn't give Donnie as much time to respond as he would like. All that said, Donnie could technically win a fight against Raph without his tech if he pretty much said to hell with fighting and decided to do an imitation of an octopus. At the very least he could probably hold him in one place if he was quick enough and managed to get Raph's arms pinned. And somehow kept him from walking. (It wouldn't be a dignified win, but it might still technically be a win.)

Speed: I'm gonna be honest, I do not think speed is on Donnie's side in comparison to his brothers. If he really makes an effort (rather than just going his own route and pursuing his interests) he'd probably be able to keep up with the others going at full tilt for a little while, but he'd probably tire out first. A lot of the work he does due to his areas of expertise is fairly sedentary, and frequently he needs to move with slow and deliberate precision. There's a lot of fine muscle control involved in that kind of work (especially if it involves maneuvering something heavy), but being able to consistently do that doesn't automatically translate to being able to do something similar at high speed. But that's okay, because if he has the distance and varied means of attack he needs, then he doesn't have to worry about keeping up with his brothers for an extended period of time-- it just has to be long enough.

Adaptability: If it involves tech or computer systems, Donnie's ability to adapt to a situation is unparalleled. Give him unrestrained access to an unfamiliar and shiny (and incredibly pervasive) system and he'll be able to make it seem like a tech apocalypse is targeting one specific person if he wants to. If it's a head-to-head physical fight though, it really depends on how desperate he is or how much breathing room he has (or both). If he's frazzled and panicky then there's the possibility he'll miss several opportunities or potential tools and, in a worst-case scenario, he might freeze. (An extreme example of this is how Rise Donnie gave up fighting the crab men when his tech failed, after all his brothers had already failed in that fight.) If he has time and space to think then he's practically unstoppable, but if he doesn't have that breathing room then chances are things won't end well for him.

Combat Style/Approach: Distance fighter, brain-over-brawn, could be a grappler if necessary but uncomfortable enough with it that it might work against him, might as well dub him a 'trap master' for the little surprises he might leave in his wake if he's feeling spiteful. He's a schemer, but not a chess master.

Mikey

Strengths: If there's one thing that can be said for Mikey it's the fact that most versions of him are innately gifted at picking up kinesthetic knowledge, to say nothing of the fact that he tends to be the most spiritually gifted of the brothers. In fact in several series (2003 and 2012 off the top of my head, though I'm certain it may have popped up in others) it's briefly mentioned that if Mikey really buttoned down and was completely serious about his ninja skills he would outclass Leo-- which means that he can naturally slide into the level of skill Leo has worked for years to achieve without even really thinking about it. If he wants to. And most of the time he doesn't want to. (Too much responsibility being that serious, so who can blame him?) However, his not constantly going at the equivalent of Level 99 in a videogame in fights isn't necessarily a detriment to him, because he has other ways to stay true to himself while giving himself an edge. Like being annoying on purpose. And knowing how to aggravate the hell out of his opponents until he tricks them into getting sloppy. Until he tricks them into giving him easy openings they should REALLY know better than to give him-- and would if he hadn't deliberately torn their nerves to shreds. If it's not obvious, I'm saying versions of Mikey like to play mind-games, and if they really want to they can be vicious about it and make it HURT. (Though again, most versions of Mikey are more invested in goofing off and playing around than being outright vicious or serious.) The point is, if he finds a mental opening that sticks, then how invested he is in winning the fight will dictate how serious he is about exploiting that weakness. To say nothing about how creative he can get when he really wants to be.

Weaknesses: The downfall of a lot of Mikeys is how distractable a lot of them can be. (I won't say this is a universal fact because I'm a big fan of there being variation among different realities, but a lot of Mikeys definitely being ADHD doesn't help. How well said version is able to compensate probably also varies.) So depending on the circumstances and the environment, Raph might be able to play that distractibility against him. (Buuuut that would require Raph to play mind-games, and most Raphs aren't the 'mind-game' type.) Plus, for better or worse, it takes a LOT to get most versions of Mikey to the point where he's ready to say 'Fuck everything' and throw everything he can into ending a fight right that second.

Speed: Mikey is, in my honest opinion (and based off most of the series and movies I've seen), the fastest of the brothers-- bar none. Which means if he tore off at full speed with the intention of skipping a fight entirely and just making Raph chase him, Raph probably would never catch him. Until after he wears down anyway. But if he zipped off and found a good enough hiding spot, then he could probably avoid Raph for a while. In a fight, because of his speed, there's a good chance that Mikey might be able to get in more hits than Raph, but that comes with the risk of getting in close to Raph-- and that can easily work against him in very short order.

Adaptability: Mikey's adaptability is through the roof. Most versions of Mikey, you can throw damn near anything their way and they'll roll with it in such a way that they land on their feet while their brothers are still scrambling for stable footing. There's also the fact that he's a very lateral thinker and able to apply concepts from seemingly unrelated sources to scenarios many others wouldn't even think to combine-- and he does so to his advantage. So yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh, given enough room and space to work with (and not panicking), then there's a good chance Mikey's going to catch Raph off guard with something he'd never expect.

Combat Style/Approach: Close range, flighty, dart in-range to hit and then dart back out of range, mind-games and making his opponents angry to the point of getting sloppy seems to be his preferred tactic. He could be the most terrifying to go up against in a fight if he went absolutely stone serious, but 99.9999% of the time he does not want to and would much rather slip in some fun where he can. (If you don't believe me on that last point, consider that in the 2003 series I'm reasonably sure he has the highest body count of all the brothers, in the 2012 series he killed a kraang and wore the dude's skin on his head multiple times, and in Rise ALL of Dr. Delicate Touch and the frothing maniacal rage he has when angry. 'Nuff said.)

Raph

And here we come to the turtle in question himself, Raph. Hamato Raphael, Raphael Splinterson, Raphie-boy, take your pick.

Strengths: Raph is a TANK. Barring '87, this boy in most iterations pretty much makes it his mission in life to be the strongest of him and his brothers. He's also stubborn as hell and WILL NOT give in if he thinks it's important to stand his ground. Which means he can and will hold his ground and dig in long past when his brothers each have to retreat or fold; he can take the hits they can't and come out the other side still kicking. And what's more, if he feels the need to and is able to get up and be mobile, then he WILL hunt you down for as long as it takes and damned near nothing will stop him-- he is that. damned. STUBBORN. Let's be real, that combination is terrifying. Of course, naturally, this brings up questions of just how physically strong he is. I pointed out up in Donnie's section that Donnie is ridiculously strong, but just how strong is Raph? To answer that question, the infamous scene from 2007:

Just how much psi does it take to snap a katana? WELL, it turns out that finding out that information is really difficult (at least when I was nosing around and trying to find out). When I was doing my initial searching I found a video on facebook examining an anime scene (at the time-- back in September-- it was literally the only thing that remotely came close to answering my question that popped up) that claimed it would take at least 20,000 psi. Being that the person who posted that video didn't include any sources for reference, I'd take it with a grain of salt (especially since despite my best efforts I'm having a hard time finding that video again), but still. If-- for the sake of argument-- we assume that the 20,000 psi measurement is accurate for what it would take to snap a katana, that would mean that our boy Raph is capable of exerting that much force with each hand. And not just a brief spike of getting there either. No, for him to be capable of the force in that 2007 scene (again, assuming the number is accurate) then he has to maintain that force for longer than a second or two.

I don't know about you, but that makes this scene just that much more dangerous and intense in my eyes. It's not just that Raph could have killed Leo by stabbing him; it's also the implication that he could have easily torn Leo apart with his bare hands if he wanted to. So yeeeeeaaaahhhh, if Raph is able to get his hands on any of his brothers and is able to hold on, they're probably toast.

Weaknesses: Whoo boy. In most iterations, point blank, his biggest weakness is his temper. If he gets set off too thoroughly or if someone knows how to play it against him, his temper can make him get sloppy and lead to his defeat-- regardless of how ridiculously strong he is. It also means that, unless it's a version of him who has worked his ass off to keep himself in check, there's a good possibility that he might wind up doing things he'll regret when he's angry (and if someone really wants to twist the knife they can play that guilt and self-blame against him). If you go by 2003 and 2012 there's also his bug-phobia which can be played against him. (Even though 2003 Raph covers it with 'KILL IT WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE'.) If you go by Rise, then you DO NOT. EVER. WANT THAT BOY TO BE ALONE. And on a much more brutal note, going back to his stubbornness which is also one of his strengths

...there's a good chance that this boy might try to push himself past the breaking point if he feels it's necessary.

Speed: I've said before that I think Raph is pretty neck-in-neck with Leo when it comes to how fast he is, Mikey has them both beat in the speed department hands down, and Donnie is most likely to be the slowest moving of the four of them. If Leo has to deal with heavy weights while trying to move at speed however, Raph will have him outclassed due to having more practice in that department. For Raph to have a hope of keeping up with Mikey going full tilt in running away, Mikey would have to be carrying enough to weigh him down considerably. And while Donnie might stand a chance in trying to grapple with Raph, Raph having more experience in moving heavy weights at speed would probably mean Donnie would be better off trying to glom onto Raph like an octopus rather than outright grappling. So Raph's not the fastest, but he's not a slouch either.

Adaptability: As much as I love my boy, Raph is a tank, he's bruiser, he's a bulldozer who freely makes use of sharp and pointy things he can use to stab people with. Adaptability-- barring variation between sneaking in and out versus barreling in as loudly as possible to cause mayhem and destruction as a distraction-- is generally not in his wheelhouse. Given time and learning how to play mind games (and I don't doubt that an adult Raph could pick up and use the skill when he needs to) he'd probably become more flexible, but with where he's portrayed to be at in most iterations he hasn't gotten there yet.

Combat style/approach: Close-range, grappler, brawler, TANK. He WILL hold the line, he WILL dig in and hold his ground, he WILL be the wall and PROTECT with everything he has if he has to. He's also not above being outright brutally destructive when he feels it's warranted. And that "when he feels it's warranted" is key.

Details that affect the outcome:

Raph has a protective streak 500 miles wide. A lot of iterations try to be the wall for his family, the last line of defense when needed. He would sooner see himself hurt than anyone he cares about.

And it's not just his brothers, father, April, Casey, anyone-he-considers-family that he's protective of either.

Seriously, if someone pushes the protective button on this boy and his sense of right and wrong kicks in, he WILL get involved.

Raph cares and feels deeply; to him, family is everything.

You

have

NO IDEA

how much

this boy

LOVES

HIS FAMILY

or how much he'd tear himself up if he ever seriously hurt any of them. So the chances of him ever actually going all-out against any of his brothers is slim. (And the few instances in various iterations where he's come close it's seriously screwed him up emotionally every time. Like 2003 and the pipe incident, 2007 and the after effects of his fight with Leo, the implied guilt Rise had after he snapped back to his senses after reuniting with his brothers after he'd been alone, etc.) He might fight with his brothers, he might disagree with them from time to time, but overall he comes off as someone who firmly believes you don't ever deliberately hurt someone you should care about if you can help it. Which is backed up by instances of him panicking in various iterations where his decisions might result in his family's deaths, as well as the fact that he only really turns on any of them (think SAINW) if they cross the line of not being there for each other like he feels they should be. Some iterations might threaten to run off a lot, but he never will without a damned good reason because he loves his family too much to ever want to do that to them.

Final Assessments

Raph vs Leo: If it's in close and is just down to strength-- Raph wins. If Leo has the time he needs to scheme and play Raph the way he needs to-- Leo wins.

Raph vs Donnie: If it's in close-- Raph wins unless Donnie pulls off an imitation of an octopus and gets all of Raph's limbs pinned and holds on for dear life. If Donnie has the distance, time to scheme, and the means to set traps to his heart's content-- plus tranqs, no one wins against tranqs-- Donnie wins.

Raph vs Mikey: If Raph can get his hands on Mikey and keep him in one place-- Raph wins. If Mikey plays Raph like a fiddle with his mind games and stays out of reach-- Mikey wins.

Raph vs the three of them together: Well shit, that'd be a losing proposition under the best circumstances unless the goal was to try to out-stubborn them at something. 10/10 if he had to, Raph would keep dragging himself along even if all three of his brothers were hanging on to him to try to keep him from reaching his goal. (And if Raph hasn't exploited that fact during some wild-as-shit game of theirs, then Casey Jones is the queen of England.)

Raph vs his guilt if he actually seriously hurt them: Instantaneous loss that Raph would probably have a hard time ever forgiving himself for.

So do I think Raph is as good a fighter as his brothers? Yes.

Do I think he's holding back so he doesn't hurt them? Also yes.

Do I think anyone he went up against if he didn't hold back would be thoroughly screwed? Emphatically YES.

-----------------------------

*The site I got the turtle size table in Donnie's section is [here], if anyone wants further details on sea turtles.

[biilziebub-rakdos]

I let out a low groan as my eyes slowly open, barely able to stomach actually looking around the shitty little room I’ve got in some Akroan equivalent to a motel. I can feel the slab of minotaur next to me, feel the bed, feel the sting of the weak sunlight hitting my eyes directly through the window. Feel the percussion tango reverberating in my skull. Feel the buzz that hasn’t escaped last night’s little party yet. Turning away from the window, there is someone on the chair in the room, shuffling a weird-looking deck of cards. The wing that isn’t against the bed puffs up in something almost capable of being an intimidation display, but they barely respond.

“Good morning, Prince of the Cult Rakdos. I’ll trade you my old man's hangover cure for a few minutes of your time.”

My wing goes a bit limp again as I see that they aren’t threatening… at all, really, but definitely not actively threatening me. “This… can’t be weirder than Zilortha. Fuck it. What do you want?”

They smile at me, cryptic and annoying. "The name's Rune, and this is Crow. You already know of us, but this is the first time you've gotten to meet me in person. I've already seen you in person a few times, but for the sake of your hangover, I won't get into that just yet. You may wanna sit up for this, Crow's givin' you way more than three cards to help ya sort out this mess."

“… yeah. Fine. Ok. This might as well happen.” I push myself to sit up, very nearly keel over, and just… get my hooves to the floor. Lower myself down onto it. Eyes closed, breath forcibly held steady.

Rune, meanwhile, just reaches into their bag on the floor by their chair and takes out a clear bottle filled with… some kind of liquid. "It ain't gonna taste too good, but it'll sober ya up more than ya think," they warn as they hand it over. "And try not to melt it, plastic can't handle heat and I don't need ya makin' yourself sicker."

“I can almost guarantee I’ve eaten worse. Probably within the last day.” But when I crack it open and chug it down, I still give a shudder that climbs down my spine, across my wings, down to my hooves and the tip of my tail. “… not great.”

"The worse it tastes, the better it works," Rune chuckles. They gesture for the chair across the table from them. "Once you feel like you can stand, have a seat and I'll let Crow get started."

Mostly just to spite them, I’m all but crab walking to and into the chair, managing not to actually stand the whole way. Once I’m sat… I just nod, once, stomach twisted into a handful of knots.

Rune finishes shuffling the deck and sets it down in the middle of the table. On their own, cards start to launch around the table, landing face-down. There are four cards in the cardinal directions, with two between each of them to create an interconnected web akin to the rim and spokes of a wheel surrounding the unused cards of the deck in the middle.

“… cartomancy. Alright. Every Ravnican street corner has three people exactly like you.” That’s spite and the remains of the hangover, snark leaking out with my headache.

Rune shrugs. "I never promised that what me and Crow do is unique, folks just get surprised when they see it." They reach out and flip over the cards in the cardinal directions first.

The closest card to me is the Knight of Wands, the artwork shifting to depict me in strong reds, oranges, and greys akin to something between fire and impressionism. I nod approvingly as I see it, admiring the art of my own depiction.

The card closest to Rune and opposite of me is the Knight of Swords, whose artwork shifts to depict Kilik in clean, minimalist blues and white. As I watch Kilik take shape, my approval twists into a sneer and a low growl, a few embers starting to glow in my hair.

The card to my left is the Knight of Cups, which alters itself to look like Leta in blues, reds, and white and in a more realistic style. And the card to my right is the Page of Swords, which turns into a white, blue, and black version of Koda in the traditional ink drawings of Kamigawa. I start cooling down as I see these, recognizing that, somehow, I don’t really dislike either of them. I guess. So… I watch. Settle a bit, my tail twitching on the floor behind the chair.

“Alright. Little bit heavy-handed, but I see what you’re getting at.” This is, it seems, the best Rune can get from me for now.

"Crow likes to be blunt," they acknowledge. The other cards are flipped one by one, each one creating the bridge between one person's artwork and the second person's. The cards individually do not mean as much as the clear visual tell—there's an interconnected web between the four people that Crow has chosen to depict, with each of us influencing each other despite all of us butting heads.

“… fine. The cards are pretty cool.” This feels like a tremendous concession on my part, mostly because I’m not really willing to admit that I am… very much intrigued by all of this.

"We're just as much showfolks as we are storytellers," Rune admits with a slight incline of their head. "So. Do you want the play-by-play or do you want me to just be blunt and get to the point?"

“You’d fit right into the Cult. I… I’m not gonna remember this in three hours. Gimme the important bits.” I give a somewhat dismissive wave of my hand, tilting my chair back.

And so, Rune does exactly that. "All four of you are goddamn messes and your relationships to everyone here - and everyone else's relationships to each other - are incredibly messy, yet also really, *really* intertwined at this point."

With an annoyed little grunt, I pick up an amphora of mead from the floor by the bed and lift it to drink… or, perhaps, to bring it to my mouth, pause, and set it back down with a sigh. “Not sure how ‘entwined’ I’d call myself, but messy… can’t argue with messy.”

"Look, buddy. You hurt others. That's what you do for, I don't know, your entire job. I understand that it's your *thing*. But like it or not, these folks - well, except Leta - care for ya. You hurt each other, you'll probably hurt each other again. But you like each other. Maybe not in that fancy romance type way, but you *do* like these folks."

While I am fully aware that they might not exactly be wrong… that doesn’t make them all the way right. Or at least, not in ways I would admit. “I don’t like Kilik. The bastard”

"Mhm. Sure. Tell that to somebody who can't read the narrator's text and tell that you're obviously lying."

“… I think I need more of that hangover cure.”

"Relax, you're gonna go from here and go talk to a nice pirate lady and get some fresh air, but only after we're done. Until then, you and I are gonna keep chattin'."

“… nice lady sounds good. Fuck it. Alright. Everyone hurts everyone, way of the world. Worlds. And?”

Rune grimaces as if they know what's coming next. "Unfortunately, you've gotta do the morally reasonable thing and apologize, because you ain't just hurtin' Kilik when you go on a bender like this, and Kilik ain't just hurtin' you. I ain't askin' ya to be a saint, I'm tellin' ya that you're hurtin' a whole lot more folks than you think. And hurtin' folks unintentionally sucks."

“But I like hurting people. It’s fun. And I don’t have shit to apologize for.” Sparks are crackling in my hair, floating around my horns, but Rune just reaches over and pats them out.

"I know, buddy. But you're hurtin' Koda doin' this too, and that little shit still owes you a date. Trust me on this, don't burn that bridge until he gets to cook for you."

“… he does.” And him… whatever my thoughts on Kilik, I do like Koda. I just don’t… I don’t like liking people.

Rune nods, shuffling more of Crow's deck besides the cards they’ve already laid out. "Here's the thing, sweetpea. Goin' through life without connections? It drives ya mad. I'm talkin' from personal experience. Why do you think me an' Crow are so close? Point is, you have connections. You have folks who like you. You can push them away, but that'll only hurt ya more. I'm not sayin' you gotta turn full everybody-getting-along tree-hugger, I'm just sayin' that you've gotta recognize that you've got people willin' to accept murder because they like you."

“… still don’t see the big deal about murder.” But I’m starting, starting, to get the big deal about connections. Starting to understand the importance. I’m leaning back a bit, on the ground now, one leg stretched forwards, the other tucked under it, not looking directly at Rune… but still listening.

Rune shrugs. I don’t really know this, but they are a sentient narrative tool, and arguing the ethics or lack thereof for murder isn't their job right now. "Point is. Folks care about ya. Other folks hate ya, but that means they're also invested in ya. You're allowed to care about folks too. Ain't that the big ol' thang that y'all're trying to get through the thick skulls of folks like Kilik and Koda?"

And that gets me to actually flinch. Their little reminder that, for all my talk about disliking people, for everything I say, sometimes I have to take the advice I try to give. Sometimes I have to do what I told Kilik to, and let myself feel emotions. “… everyone’s invested in me. I’m the Prince of the fucking Rakdos.” And I’m deflecting from the relevant part of this, twisting a flame between my fingers, the chair I’m sitting on starting to smoke just a bit. “Besides, Kilik has decided against listening.”

"Lover's spat," Rune chuckles as they watch the flame. "You ain't gotta convince folks to forgive ya, sweetpea. You just gotta say what you mean with your whole chest. Clear the air. Apologize where it's needed. Make amends if you can, agree to disengage if ya can't." That final word sounds more like "caint" thanks to Rune's strong drawl. "You and Kilik, you're both volatile. Headstrong. Powerful. You butt heads because you're so alike—why do you think you both got Knight cards in this readin'?—and you get under each other's skins because ya do it best, even when ya don't intend to. Exact same reason why ya both get into it with Leta."

“Knew I got to Leta” I’m sitting up a little bit more now, my gaze low. “Alright. Fuck it, I guess. Sayyyyy what I mean. Never did like lying. And then… what? Things just start working themselves out?” It seems like I less believe them and more… well, want them to be right, or at least want my view of what they’re saying to be right.

Rune sighs, fidgeting with the edge of one of Crow's cards but not flipping it. "Oh sugar, that's where the hard part comes in. You gotta not just say what you mean, you gotta stick to it and not back down when someone is either surprised or mad. You gotta be willin' to make things work with the folks you care about. You gotta be willin' to meet them halfway. There's a song about that, where I'm from. And a phrase about it takin' two to tango. In your case, it's more like a small harem of situationships, but that's beside the point."

“Sounds… honestly… doesn’t sound all too bad, mostly. Just keep things going? Stick to my… whatever. That’s shit I can do.” And it’s so much more complicated, really, but I don’t look like I’m ready to hear that quite yet.

Rune raises a brow. "You're deflecting," they say. "Come on, sweetpea. What's really botherin' you? The sooner you face it, the sooner you make sense of it. And besides, it ain't like me an' Crow are gonna make fun of you for it."

My eye twitches slightly at the prodding, but… “… I’m the son of Lord fucking Rakdos. I’m not supposed to be… I’m not supposed to be palling around with some dickbag angel, helping people, I’m supposed to be having fun! Partying, killing!” Im standing up now, my wings fluttering, my hair catching fire properly. “This… roaming the multiverse for the next meal, the next fuck, the next victim. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing. And they have NO FUCKING RIGHT to start complaining just because they thought they knew me.”

Rune just… nods, unconcerned about my flames. This seems to be what they had been waiting for, the actual core of the issue. They set down Crow's deck, the cards remaining still in the middle of the reading. "Does it make you happy? Genuinely, truly happy? Or do you do it because it's what you think you're supposed to do?"

“Of course it makes me happy!” With a laugh that feels half performative and half deranged, a grin that reveals bloodied teeth that all look too big for my mouth. “If I didn’t like it, I never would’ve gotten so good at it. It just…” my voice is quieter now, “doesn’t make me happy for long…” The flames are starting to simmer down, still burning hot and bright, but barely cresting my horns. I’m not facing Rune. Not looking at them. Not letting them see.

Rune just waits. This is the part they can’t force, the part where I, their querent, work through the realization on my own. They do not judge, they just wait. Even Crow's cards remain still.

“So why the fuck,” another laugh, this one thick and wet and almost ripping my throat, “why the fuck do they make me happy for longer?”

Rune reaches down into their bag and removes a metal bottle. Inside, though I don’t know it, is simply well water from their home, but they set it down where I can reach it if I want it. And still, they wait.

A strange curl of flame rises from the ground below the bottle, lifting it up into the air, nearly tossing it into my waiting hand. I’m not looking back to them, still facing resolutely away as I gaze down to the bottle, ear twitching. “And what, exactly, is this?”

"Just water, sweetpea. Clears the throat." Rune shrugs. "Drink it or don't. I figured you'd like the option. A decision that's grounded and solid."

“… haven’t had any since Ravnica.” A wry, annoyed chuckle, this one harsh. Any emotional pantomime ripped away from my laugh, now it’s nothing but the heat and dehydration. “Just booze and blood and halo.” Im just holding the bottle, though I’m squeezing hard enough to press the blood from my fingers, to begin to dent the metal.

Rune looks away, casually. They know this song and dance, I am far from their first querent. "If things were simple, they'd be borin'," they say softly. "Predictable. Like exactly followin' the outline of a movie or reading the driest porno in existence. Connections to others, especially ones that make us confront parts of ourselves, that's a bit of how life stays interestin'."

Rune can hear the bottle opening. Hear me start drinking, chugging it down like the last drink of the night. Hear the—was that a sob or a sigh?—as I finish, as I close the bottle. If they look, they can see the steam billowing from that exhalation, catching in the morning light. But for very nearly the first time since dropping my communicator, I’m sober enough not to sway on my hooves.

"Feelin' less dry now, sweetpea?" Rune drawls, not looking back. Not yet. Not until they see I’m a little more comfortable, at least. "Y'know, my mom told me that I needed to drink water while I was cryin' or I'd run outta tears. Never did find out if she was right or not."

“Couldn’t tell you. I never had a mom.” This is said with the utmost casualness and honesty, it just… isn’t something I had. I’m setting the bottle on the ground, still… still standing. Keeping myself up.

"Perhaps that'll be the topic of a different readin' one of these days, if we share stories again," Rune drawls softly, leaning back in their chair. "So. How are you feelin' now? Sobered up a bit?"

“I think so. Are we sharing stories? Feels like you’ve just… walked me through a whole load of garbage.”

Rune chuckles. It's a soft, gentle sound, like sausage gravy on a biscuit. "Sugar, you needed it, and I've been watchin' the communicator enough to get three stories out of this session. Ready to go meet that pirate lady I told you about and get some fresh air instead of this stinky-ass Akroan motel room?"

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I am. Can’t believe whatsisfuck is sti- oh.” Turning towards the bed where last night’s minotaur was presumed asleep, I am quickly reminded of the throat I ate last night. “… forgot about that. Better get out before he’s found or missed.” A little sigh, reaching to rub my temples. “Hot pirate, you said?”

Rune collects their cards, gently shuffling them back into Crow's deck, the cards fluttering almost affectionately. "Yep. I'm only gonna be there long enough to drop you off with her and do the introductions in person, then I gotta come back here. Well. Not this room. But Akros. I've still got work to do here."

“Fine. Alright. Lead the way.” And I turn back towards Rune, holding out the water bottle. It’s… a little bit charred, a little bit warped. There’s a clear impression, in ash and dents, of all four fingers on my left hand. They shrug and take it. A little busted or not, they own more.

They tuck the damaged bottle back into their bag along with Crow's cards, then offer me a hand. "I find it easier to not drift if I'm holdin' somethin'. Goal is Ixalan."

“… oh, fuck. Not a forest-ocean plane again. Fine. Let’s… let’s go.” A little nod, eyes closed, my hair now extinguished.

[littlesparklight]

Are there any good books (preferably non-fiction but idm fiction recs) about Paris and/or Helen you would recommend for someone wanting to dive more into the mythology of each?

Haha you're only getting non-fiction because I'm so picky about fiction when it comes to Greek myth I've barely read any at all. So I'll give you some of my favourite academia! Anything that isn't a book is a paper you can read for free either on academia.edu or on Jstor (the latter with a free account). Or, you know, getting it in some other way just like with the books /cough

Helen of Troy: Beauty, Myth, Devastation by Ruby Blondell - SO good (some reviewers feel the Odyssey chapter is lacking,); it's obviously about Helen mostly haha but Paris gets solid mentions in the first couple chapters and scattered ones throughout. Depending on the edition you get, it might or might not have a chapter/paper titled Bitch That I Am: Self-Blame and Self-Assertion in the Iliad ; I recommend this one too, and it can be read on Jstor.

The Body as Argument: Helen in Four Greek Texts by Nancy Worman - really interesting, especially for the Iliad and Sappho 16 sections. On Jstor.

Image, Text, and Story in the Recovery of Helen by Guy Hedreen - he goes through this really systematically! Obviously, nothing about Paris here, but it's definitely a good look at the part of Helen's story that has to do with her being reclaimed by Menelaos. On JStor.

Helen's "Judgment of Paris" and Greek Marriage Ritual in Sappho 16 by Eric Dodson-Robinson - Sappho 16 my beloved. Anyway, it was a while since I read this one, but I remember liking it, and it goes into Helen as subject. Can be found on Jstor, Academia, or downloaded from the university itself!

Aspects of Effeminacy and Masculinity in the Iliad by Christopher Ransom - If you start reading about Homeric masculinity, you'll very soon notice there often comes a line similar to something like this: "but Paris is not that". And if you want to, like, read some actual exploration of how/why Paris is not that and what that means, they will not provide it! This is where Ransom comes in; he walks through the Iliad and all the ways Paris deviates from normative Iliadic (and general ancient Greek) masculinity. Very good paper. On Academia.

Artistic and Literary Representations of the Judgement of Paris in Antiquity by Cristian Mancilla - this is an unpublished thesis and you'll have to google search for it but it's downloadable from the university. If you're interested in the Judgment, this is where to go!

Euripides and the Judgement of Paris by T.C.W. Stinton - you'll probably have to borrow this book from a library? (I got it second hand from a second hand bookstore not even in my country lol) But it's one of those works that gets referenced very often and laid a lot of ground. Is not actually only about Euripides' versions/use of Paris.

Paris in the Epic Tradition by Roberto Nickel - another unpublished thesis, so google search title+author. If you're interested in a (speculative but grounded in the Iliad) discussion of what Paris' character might have been like in earlier times, this is where to go. Nickel explores (but is certainly not the one to have thought of) the possibility of Paris once having had basically both his and Hektor's characteristics in the Trojan War story.

Some general recs:

Listening for the Plot: The Role of Desire in the Iliad's Narrative by Rachel Hart Lesser - this one is now also a published book! (As Desire in the Iliad: the Force That Moves the Epic and Its Audience.) But having compared them, I like the unpublished thesis a little better, personally (certain sections/discussions I liked very much have been restated in a more restricted way in the published book, or otherwise gets less obvious).

Inventing the Barbarian: Greek Self-Definition Through Tragedy by Edith Hall - This one can fit for a Paris rec as well because Paris is a focus thanks to being the "patient zero" and the prime exemplar of the "eastern effeminate barbarian" which is part of what Hall discusses. Very good/interesting book! Go be a pirate about it or download it on Hall's own site, no piracy necessary.

The Iliad: A Commentary by G.S. Kirk (and other authors attached to the volumes past vol. 2) - if you want a commentary, I really like this one, and in terms of Paris and Helen, obviously checking out the volumes that contain the books they appear in is interesting and useful!

[spotaus]

something something i'm now hyperfixated on new age dust and reading flesh anon's asks made it worse because i am HISTORICALLY insane about cannibalism or whatever

the short of it is i need more human eating and more people reacting about that PLEASE (/nf)

-anon anon (bc i couldn't think of a better name lol :T)

Haha! Glad to hear you're enjoying NA Dust, anon anon! He's one of my special little blorbos (Ancha knows I go feral at the mere mention of him)

But yes! More about the eating and also the reactions! :D (Putting this under the cut for convenience)

So, I'll assume you know the general just of Whistling if you've read Flesh Anon's asks! Jic the short version: Monsters who are SO infused with magic that they have to rely on human meat + physical make-up to fuel their bodies. Thanks to this weird form, they can shape-shift. People didn't like that in the early days, scared them off, now they live in a kingdom everyone thinks is terrifying. Dust is friends with them!

Okay, now, I'm gonna do a little bit of free-writing about my ideas for the first times Dust encountered the Whistlers abd their weird traditions. (This is subject to change as Ancha and I will probably discuss and/or I see cool tags and eat them lmao-)

But. Dust I'd like. A grown man. His 30s or so by the main story. That means much of his older teen/young adult years were spent climbing the ranks in Orchard's black market scene. During his work, there was a boss he had who wanted him to be a diplomat for their new "business partners" since he talked so little and seemingly had a will of steel. He agreed (was promised higher pay if he could do it) and was told to meet these people in a certain house at a border city.

These people greeted him coldly, weary, but they were monsters and Dust was respectful and unbothered. Even though their decor was a little strange (a lot of... bones.) And they sometimes spoke a language from another kingdom. They made smalltalk about this new trade agreement and sounded hesitant about Dust's boss. He agreed his boss was shady, but people really did need these imports.

Then the ultimatum came along when dinner was ready. They didn't try to hide it very well, the shape was obvious. A human limb being served.

They said that he'd eat. Then they could really talk business. And Dust, of course, suddenly knew why his boss didn't come himself. Dust was fodder. A guinea pig. A buffer for him. He hesitated, of course. That's like... human. For real.

But, he saw the others start eating. The same thing. Watching him curiously. Wearily. And the thing was? It looked well-cooked. The kitchen had smelled great. It had herbs and nice presentation. And. Y'know what? He was working peanuts for wages up until now. He had to do something to fix that. So, he just gave it a nibble. And. Frankly. It did not taste bad. It was actually *really* seasoned. The spice made his sockets water a bit, but he just wiped them and took another bite. Then another.

Only after he was almost finished, smalltalk having continued after his third bite, one of the whistlers asked how he liked it. He said it was good. Spicy, but good. And then one of them nodded to another and they scurried off. Immediately after, they started talking real business. They accepted him and his offer he brought because he just went with the flow. They were impressed. He gets out of there with a successful trade agreement and gets his raise. On the caveat that he is the one who always meets the Whistlers about trade and changes. He agrees.

There are several occasions between the first meeting and the next where Dust runs into a whistler in the wild. During the first meeting he'd been gifted a little charm of human bones, and he just keeps it on his belt. Who's gonna steal bones? But, it makes him a little beacon for traveling Whistlers, who would greet him and sometimes even give him a little gift if they ran into him twice. He was always cordial with them.

The second amd third meetings are progressively further into Orchard, and Dust has experiences both levels of meat consumption. The ultra-spicy options, or the practically raw ones. The raw meal did take him a moment to come to teems with. He's not a fan of any raw meats, but he made the effort to look past it. It was bland, a little tough, but the texture wasn't awful and he didn't mind the change away from the spice. The Whistlers at this dinner were excited to see Dust finish his full plate (his mother taught him that it's rude to not eat your fill when being hosted). The third meeting they gift a bone necklace.

Now, the best moment in my mind is Dust's ascension to Crine Lord. He'd been managing the Whistlers pretty much all on his own fir this whole time. His boss was pretty openly perturbed by them and called them awful terms. Dust never listened much to him and had been slowly learning more about the culture and past. He found it interesting, and he realized a lot more than he thought sought refuge or new prey (and customers) in Orchard. He has quite a few Whistler Friends.

The whistlers insist they meet Dust's boss when he off-handedly mentions during a quick meet-up that he only gets a little fraction of money that he sends to his family (the Whistlers also start delivering that money for him. Safer than his boss' goons). They want to have dinner with him. He (tentatively) agrees when Dust relays the message. And yet when they arrive with the intention of sharing their culture, like they have with Dust who has been so welcoming, this guy? This guy can't stomach even a single bite. Which already possess off the Whistling Ambassadors. But then he insults them. They're used to it, but insulted. Then when Dust moves to defend them, "You're the one who agreed to a dinner, boss. You knew the menu." The boss turns on him and starts calling *him* a freak for eating human meat.

And let's just say. Well. The whistlers don't take kindly to the insults being hurled at Dust. They threaten to retract their deal, then when he's uncooperative they. Well. Let's just say the dust is scattered thoroughly. It leaves Dust in an awkward position. His food is half-finished, his guests just killed his source of income, and now whole towns will be out of supplies w/o the boss. He was an asshole, but Dust *kinda* needed him to get paid.

He relays that information to the whistlers, still picking at his meal, and they all unanimously suggest he should fill the seat. He seems informed enough.

And. The boss was stupid enough to write all his information + contacts down. So after he finishes the meal he genuinely like. Decides to become the new boss of this branch.

Initially the human meat was something he kinda worried over, the ethics and stresses of magical technicalities, but in the end it didn't hurt him in any way and it was always prepared with good intention. So, it became a regular item on his menu (only when meeting with his Whistler Allies though). And those meals got a lot more frequent when he became known as a safe space within Orchard for Whistlers. He'd defend then any day, and they know it. In turn, they provide amazing supplies he can distribute. (The connections to Whistling and other Good Contacts are why he burns his documents before getting captured by Killer. Doesn't want them getting caught too.)

Now reactions! So, I haven't looked back, but I briefly recall mentioning Killer's reaction (Drunk off their asses and slipping up) but I feel like it also happened once when talking with Cross and Lust. Maybe not directly about the human eating initially, but they're out and about and Dust is suddenly approached fearlessly by a stranger and handed a little basket. Dust is unphased but Lust and Cross are a little worried like 'what.. what is that?' And Dust just says 'care package'. Tries to leave it at that, but the other two are young and curious, and so Dust unpacks it for them to see when they get to Lust's shop. There's a few cool bone charms, a little bandana with white embroidery like lightning cracking across its surface, and then a very beautifully seasoned, delicious-smelling, hunk of cooked meat. Cross is worried it's got something wrong with it (Night's worried Poison Talk still gets him sometimes) and Lust insists he's jealous and would kill for something that smells/looks that tasty. Dust says they wouldn't like it. Lust disagrees. (Note: Dust, as eldest Knight/Sibling has SUCH a habit of letting the other mooch off any treats or goodies he has on hand.) He has to sigh and drop the lore that it's most certainly cooked human meat. They assume he's joking, he reassures them he's absolutely not kidding and that they really shouldn't eat any. He ends up then having to casually spill that it's "Rude to not eat home-made meals." When Cross asks if he's actually going to eat it. Lust looks a little queasy and Cross is just flabbergasted. Dust says he should probably get it back to the castle freezer before it spoils. Cross and Lust are left trying to puzzle out when exactly Dust just casually ate humans in the past. Cross mentions it to Killer who recounts his drunken conversation and then Cross has to know that BOTH of them had tries it before.

In the same breath, I think Dust telling Nightmare is a funny one too. Like, mentioned briefly, but I imagine Nightmare was worried when news got back to him of Whistlers being spotted near the castle grounds, but they always leave harmlessly and it's Dust who vouched for them during discussions. He has to, at some point, answer Nightmare's questions after connecting the dots. Night's a *little* concerned at first, Dust having such a strange diet seems unhealthy, especially with his weakened magic, but he says there's usually decent intent and it tastes fine even when it's not cooked. They've never served him anything rotten. Ultimately, Night just comes to terms under the umbrella of diplomacy. It's simply their culture, and Dust was being welcoming to it.

Night double-checks that with Reaper and Geno's records of Whistling, but Geno mentions how a friend from university (Outer) ended up confessing he was half-whistler after graduation so he got a little information on the situation. It matched Nightmare's and justified the reasoning even more. As long as it doesn't bother Dust, he won't question it or ask him to stop.

[queen0fm0nsterz]

How do you think the lady statuettes were distributed?

Who were entrusted with them, do you think they knew they were more than just porcelain (or whatever the shadow that escapes them is). All guests presumably die over the year (I loved the lady referring to them as rations in seafarers btw I love her so much) so I don't think any brought them to the city as a souvenir.

Is it possible she gave one to a former employee? Hoping to spread her influence or senses?

Because if they're just packed lunches, I'm not sure why there would be one in the pale city. It would be cool if they make it even easier for her to spread her senses out and "see" what's happening around the figurines. Maybe she was testing how far her senses could extend.

HAH, you fool! /j you should know better than to give me a chance to talk about Seafarers...

Alright SO. Since you mentioned it, I'll give you my personal headcanon of how these little statues came to be and their usage in Seafarers, since it's actually one of those small pieces of the canon that really intrigues me.

Starting off strong, I think the idea of having statues of the figure of the Lady was always something that was part of the Maw. The three statuettes with the offering plate look old, abandoned to the seas of time... but still considerably important when it comes to constructing a timeline, because their existence implies (to me) that the tradition existed before the current Lady rose to the title.

I think what Rascal did was popularize this tradition and turn the thing into an additional marketing strategy for the Maw. And while I agree with you that the Guests are not allowed to leave the Maw all year round, I'm fairly certains letters can be sent from the Maw to the mainland: that's because in LN II there are letters between the ones in the Post Office that should have a picture of the Maw between them, and the person in the apartment with the statuette you are referring had received a letter that was titled in the files as being a "brochure". Maybe someone they knew sent them a statuette as well, who knows. Notably, this one specific statuette didn't hold any magic within it, since it only breaks without any mist when it's thrown. This had me believing that while they look the same, the ones on the Maw have a different purpose rather than being just merchandise - something containing a spell, as you said.

What I DO know is that the Maw is popular enough to have at least one book written about it (seen in VLN), several adds inviting people to visit it and having its head as being worshiped in a manner that seems almost religious. As such, Rascal made a smart choice by making the statues faceless, because it makes them timeless. It doesn't matter who the acting Lady is, the point is the image they're selling.

And about that... there is sentimental value to the four statuettes of the previous Ladies, even though Rascal does her best to keep them out of sight - especially Teapot's. I guess an item can hold value even if the sentiment isn't good... My idea for how those four came to be is that Teapot had originally commissioned the first three, the ones of Fox and the sisters, and hers was later added by Rascal.

The one unspoken rule of the statues is that Fox never leaves her pillar. She's the matriarch. You can't hide her away if you try, and you don't want to try.

While I think Six wouldn't be a follower of this tradition (I am very convinced the statuettes creep her out), I have imagined the Lady's version of her statuette when she takes her place on the eventual fifth pillar would have a hole in her face. But if she didn't, she'd probably look like the one on her music box:

[your-resident-boat-person]

would u consider what happened to SS Normandie to be twink death

also WHY NO SS NORMANDIE

Hoooooooo boy. I assume you're referring to my top 25 list of ocean liners? So yeah... uh... i hate to say it, and I'm probably going to get crucified for this, buuuuut.....

I'm not a fan of the SS Normandie.

I know! I'm sorry! But of all my criteria that a ship needs to meet, she just doesn't hold up! First, her career. It was PATHETICALLY short. Only 1935 to 1939. She sat in New York for a few years until she burned down (as is the tradition of French liners cough cough). The most interesting part of her career was her rivalry with the Queen Mary, but personally, I just think that story is way more interesting from the Queen Mary's side. I think the story of her engineering is interesting, like her turboelectric engines, and her hydrodynamic hull, but I think the engineering of ships like the SS United States is just more interesting! People say she's the most beautiful ship ever engineered, buuuut....

Yeah, I just don't get it. ESPECIALLY compared to her younger fleetmate, the SS France

Or her OLDER fleetmate, the SS Île de France

Who had a MUCH more interesting career, by the way.

Anyway, people point to her interiors as an art deco masterpiece..... BUUUUUUT

Look, from an artistic standpoint, I would never argue that these interiors are gorgeous. But people often forget that this isn't an art museum. It's an ocean liner. People are expected to live in these spaces for at least 4 or 5 days. Would you feel comfortable staying in a hotel that looked like this? With all the metal and marble and stone? This cold, towering, imposing atmosphere? It feels like a goddamn palace, and not in a good way. I'd be afraid to touch anything. Like I said, it's pretty, I just dont think it serves it's purpose very well. And people from the 1930s generally agreed with me. Many people described it as being "too much" and bordering on gaudy. I vastly prefer the Queen Mary's, Queen Elizabeth's, and Caronias take on Art Deco.

They just feel so much more homey and warm and inviting. Personally, I'll always prefer the Edwardian decor, which was a more restrained version of the Victorian decor. The Olympic's grand staircase, first class lounge, and a la carte restaurant are my favorite examples.

So anyway, those are the reasons I'm not a fan of the SS Normandie. Her story is short and largely uninteresting, and the way it is interesting, other ships like the Mary and the Big U do those things better. Her exterior is weird looking and ugly, and her interiors are oppressive, gaudy, and downright uncomfortable. I just never understood the love for Normandie. Anyway, if you disagree with any of my points, PLEASE let me know! I love talking to people about this stuff ^ω^