#I'll not be able to log in on tumblr during the day because i have really shitty internet connection where i work

[coolskeleton3000]

Hi!!!! Hello!!!! It's my b-day today!!!! (if you read this post on June 10)

I've just turned 19!

I don't do a lot of cool stuff here but if you like my fucked up little creature energy or looking how I learn to live this life one bite a at a time you can drop it in notes or in the askbox! (if you want of course)

Wanna go a bit interactive so you can ask some questions about me if you want! (but you are so welcome to do it at any time!)

Have a nice day!

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

03/09/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

Alright luvs. This recaps gonna be bloody short and interesting because I'm drunk as a fish. Seriously, doing the accents and everything while writing this. Just warning you! Please forgive me for minor issues in grammar. I am not going to be able to cover everything because my brain just doesn't have the capacity, so I promise tomorrow will catch up on Saturday's news as well. I will try to catch the highlights though.

== #ThankYouOFMD ==

The big event today was the #ThankYouOFMD event going on on Twitter, hosted by @OFMDFanCrew. Everyone shared so much love for Cast & Crew as well as fellow fan crews. @OFMDFanCrew asked for us to use #ThankYouOFMD.

Here are some of the prompts:

By the time I logged off after Midnight MST, we were at:

== Cast & Crew SIghtings ==

== Samba Schutte ==

The Roach's Rascal's have commissioned a Cameo from our beloved Samba Schutte!

Samba Cameo

= Erroll Shand =

Our friend @errollshand popped in during our #ThankYouOFMD Event and said some very kind words.

= Lindsey Cantrell =

@linds_cantrell sent so much love back at us and our dear friend @smurfsm00.

== Taika ==

Just a random peak of Taika and Rita

== Watch Party Reminders ==

Mar 10: Yes Man Watch Party

Celebrate our Captain in his first movie!

Time/Date: March 10, 2024, 12 Noon PT / 3pm EST / 8pm GMT

Watch Party Hashtags:

#HellYesRhys

#RhysDarbyFaction

#AdoptOurCrew

#SaveOFMD

Graphic by @ICouldBeFamily

== Wrecked ==

There are sources being passed around. If access is an issue, DM @iamadequate1 on Twitter or Tumblr

Season 2 watch from March 11th to March 15th. 

Season 3 watch from March 18th to March 22nd. 

Times will be 10pm GMT / 5pm EST / 4pm CST / 2pm PST. Watch two episodes per day. Episodes are 21-22 minutes each. Use the following Saturday for the tags/watch if interested but not able to make this time.

Hashtags: 

#WreckedPirates

#SaveOFMD

#RhysDarbyFaction

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. Sorry that this is all I can give you tonight. I'll try to catch up on everything tomorrow. I took my own advise and took a break tonight, which meant not getting to everything I should of. I hope it's not too disappointing. You did amazing today showing just how much love we have out there for each other, and for our cast and crew. The amount of love swarming the internet is stifling. This isn't the end. We're all still here. We'll still be annoyingly optimistic, and loving, and full of meta, and art and words. Go and enjoy yourself loves. Take a break, give yourself the hugest hug, you deserve it.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

I'm drunk, this is whatcha get. Sorry loves. I dont think it's too bad. Makes me wanna have a drink with Taika.. and... whatever stick Rhys is into there.

Rhys Courtesy of @ofmd-ann

Taika Courtesy of @caribbean1989

[seeminglydark]

Hey um, so this is actually my first time typing anything on tumblr, partially because I only got it a couple months ago (something something healing my inner child because I only managed to secretly log into Webtoons during my younger years) and I am also a chronic lurker. Alas, it is the night hours and this, combined with listening to the first episode of Mil-Liminal has moved me to emerge, if only for a moment.

Sorry, this is strange. I am typing to someone I do not know who has written so much that is so close to my heart. Something about the first episode just really hit. Maybe it’s cause of how I can relate. Maybe it’s cause listening to it felt a little too real as if maybe you or someone you knew could relate. The thought makes me really sad but also less alone. Is that messed up?

Regardless, thank you so much for everything you make. Every success you have makes me really happy, and seeing you expand over the years to now being able to hear “Caro’s” voice after imagining it for so long- just awesome. Now if I may impose my nagging that I give to my friends upon you, please take care of yourself, make space and recognize the inherent worth you have, know that rest is necessary and you do not need to earn it, and thank you for everything you have done for the community and for all the dark times of my life you have lighted.

Hey, Hi. Even as a person who literally writes for a living, I'm always at a loss for words. Thank you. Thank you for summoning courage and coming out of the shadows for a second to send me this message. I want you to know it moved me to tears (don't worry, crying's healthy.) It's not messed up to feel less alone by listening to my stories, because you're right. Almost everything I write, I have experienced in some kinda way. That includes breaking free from control, running away, and living in my car and suddenly not knowing who the hell I even was (not from my parents though, as in Caro's case.) My writing is and has always been a way to process and express my own grief, healing, yearning, and wishing, identity, and sexuality. The fact that it can hit other people who might be going through or went through similar things actually makes it even more worth while to me. And you don't need to be sad for the things I've gone through, because it brought me here. Almost middle-aged, the bad times feel like an old nightmare I can barely remember, Breathing, Heart beating, ALIVE and with stories to tell, and if I'm lucky, some hope to share. Cuz there is hope, and don't you forget that.

Thank you again, from the very bottom of my heart. This whole message is really so special to me in the deepest most profound way possible. I want to reply to the last paragraph with something great to say, you know what I mean? Words are hard though. So instead I'll thank you again, and I'll ask that you have that same grace for yourself too, and leave you with a little drawing of a kid figuring out their life, even though they feel really lost right now, the wonderful thing about Caro's story is that we already know it's going to be ok one day. -RJ

[blindrapture]

Rapture: Before we begin.

We are about to start a long and involved process: I am about to start (tomorrow) posting OH GOD THE RAPTURE IS BURNING's final draft. As this story was first written here on this very tumblr, I have some experience with how to do this and what can go wrong.

Every day, with one single exception (May 22nd), I will post a chapter of the story (on both this tumblr and my Website). Each chapter is called a "log" (this story is also known as The Rapture Logs) and is titled with the day that it takes place. As the narrative persists from May 21st, 2011, to October 21st (and then a bit extra), I have elected to post the story now in the same way. The May 21st log will be posted on May 21st, the June 19th log will be posted on June 19th, et cetera.

As I much prefer to keep my hands on the 'product' even during delivery (there are many opportunities for something to go wrong), I do not plan on Scheduling any of these posts and will post them directly, myself, each day. I do not expect to adhere to a reliable schedule, so the exact time that a log is released may change per day. However, I may get into a rhythm. Can't promise anything. (If you want to.. what is it, Subscribe to my tumblr, make it so you get Notifications when I post? That may be a good idea. Up to you.)

After having done some testing, the exact method I use to bring these logs to tumblr this time causes some finicky formatting errors that tumblr does not allow me to fix. I've tried, many times, and they keep resetting. However, these errors are (so far) minor. When there is a long consecutive string of bolded or italicized text, for instance, you may see the bold/italics end before it should. If you see that kind of thing, I am 99% sure it is unintentional, and I am aware of it, and I am sorry. Hopefully it shouldn't be that distracting.

There are some... other missing features that the Website will have and the tumblr will not. So. The Website is the best way to read. And the tumblr will be here as a supplement, in case for some people it is just easier to stay on tumblr.

I am including links, at the bottom of each log, to the tumblr Table of Contents, and to the Next and Previous Logs. If you are following this release daily, the "Next" button will not function at first. Because the next log will not have been posted yet. Makes sense, but wanted to be clear.

Art will be included within the logs. Not every log. Not even many logs. But there will be art. And on those days, I will also post the art in a separate post after the log, giving full credit to the artist. There may be one exception I can think of, where the art is of a fundamental spoiler, and I'll.... figure something out for that event.

These logs are going to get long. They are not predictable. I mean, anything is predictable, and Rapture is easily long enough that you will start to engage with trying to predict it. But my point here is: Each day, ask your innermost heart, "Do I feel like reading this?" It is okay if the answer is "Not today." I do not require a certain number of Likes, Comments, and/or Subscribes before I post the remainder of the story. And this is not a Limited Release; Rapture will be available forever. I would like readers, of all stripes and sorts, including daily ones. But I also would like some spaghetti bolognese. Today might not be a spaghetti bolognese day, and I've made peace with that uncertainty. .....so, yeah, feel free to catch up with the story later if you must.

Now, let me remind you of the Trigger Warning that I had posted at the beginning of May.

Trigger Warnings: Sex, Gods, and Rock & Roll. (violence, to others and to the self. some swear words. teenage angst, cringe. death. insects. surrealism. symbolism. unpredictability of what will be explained and what won’t. sexual acts with dubious consent– you will be able to skip that part. religious iconography. and so much prog rock.)

The only joke in there is the word "some" before "swear words." I promise you, this story is not for everyone. I do not say that to brag; I say that to convey some of the responses I have gotten from previous drafts. I have accounted for one skip in the entire story, and it's pretty early on. Rapture hits the dubious consent theme in its least comfortable form early and then lays off of it. Being honest with you, earlier drafts did have more of it, and I cut out almost all of it, but I did not remove that early instance, even after eight big opportunities to do so. I deeply believe it is doing something beyond just shock. And so, if you choose to skip it, I have at least included a safe recap at the point where skippers resume.

That should be all the essential stuff. Now for some quick bits:

This story makes use of emoticons, including a couple that are not common. Keep in mind that every emoticon has eyes and a mouth. For instance: the .w. face is related to the owo face, but using the eyes from the ._. face. What .w. means is a sort of humble happiness, an "Aw, shucks!" (The < in <:D is intended as eyebrows, not a party hat.)

This story uses some real names, of people and places. The places are just... places. The people names are only used where permission was granted, and I explicitly only use them for the sake of aesthetic, personally enjoying the way a name looks or sounds. All the events and opinions portrayed are fictitious.

There is a caveat in the case of the main protagonist and narrator. He is a riddle of a self-insert, a caricatured snapshot in time of the author at 16. Think what you will about the merits of a self-insert. I promise you, every expectation you have has been taken care of. I promise you, I know what I am doing here.

Okay. That's a lot of words.

Honestly there's probably even more stuff I should say? But I don't want to overexplain this. Chances are, you're actually gonna be totally fine??? Chances are, Rapture in its final draft is totally readable, and not even all that shocking, and all this preparation is making it sound like it's gonna be way worse than it really is. That's the best-case scenario here. I'd rather be prepared.

So. So look. We are on tumblr. You have the ability to send me Asks. Ask me anything. Please, ask me anything. You want the best way to read? You want clarity on what the heck I was thinking when I wrote a weird opinion of Jordan's? You want to know when the story will get good? Ask me.

'Cause, starting tomorrow until the story's done, I'm only going to be posting about Rapture. I'm going full Rapture Mode. I will only reblog posts relevant to Rapture. I will only post links to the Website, or anything relevant to the story.

Right now, as of May 20th, I am still in the process of rewriting later sections of the story. I have hit some slowdown as there were some logs that took multiple days, but I am still over two months ahead of where you'll be, so there's a bit of buffer. I should be done around August? So you're watching me do a public performance here too. Trying to outrun my own story and finish it before the present catches up with me. We'll see. God, we'll see.

God, I hope my new readers are ready. Rapture was once called a "butchery of epistolary literature," are you ready to see what spawned that insult?

Am I ready to expose myself to the world once again?

Let's!!! Let's do this thing!!!

[100dayproductivity]

25/100.

I am sooo tired today. Anyone else? 🙋‍♀️ One thing I am noticing about myself is that my energy comes in ebbs and flows. Or maybe it's fits and spurts? 🤔 I can have a really energized, productive couple of days, then I crash. And I'm always trying to fight this/feel guilty about it. Maybe it's time to allow myself to go with my own flow instead of fighting against it all the time.

So today is a crash day. Feeling burnt out. I've wasted a lot of time today, playing games on my phone on the couch. But sort of feeling bored with doing nothing as well. So I thought I might as well update Tumblr on my venture into bullet journaling.

It's only been a few days but going well so far. I've been writing absolutely every little task, and sub-task, that pops into my head. Has really helped me keep on track. I'm finding that I feel a little more relaxed when I jot something down because I know that as long as I keep referring to my list, I won't forget anything I was going to do. It could be something as simple as not forgetting that there are wet clothes in the wash that need to be put in the dryer. Or that I need to remember to pick up some milk on my way back from the post office. Jotting it down seems to free up some mental energy I would normally use to keep these little tasks in the back of my mind while doing larger tasks. It's also been helping me be more efficient. A few times I've noticed that while looking over my to-do list, I've been able to batch tasks together to save time and energy.

Right now I'm not feeling too anxious about doing nothing because I know what's on my list and there isn't anything on it that I can't do tomorrow. And, knowing me, after a crash like this, I will feel energized and productive again (eventually).

So, about the bullet journaling specifically: I'm starting with the bare bones, basic "core" layouts as per the Ryder Carol original bullet journal. Index, Future Log, Monthly, Weekly, Daily. No art, no fancy layouts, no frills. I added a reading log right away, as I'm currently trying to meet reading goals every night. And I just added a lights out/wake up log a couple of nights ago.

I know that you are supposed to customize your journal to your own needs, and I'm already thinking about some changes. I've already started doing a "rolling daily log" instead of migrating unfinished tasks every day. I just scratch out yesterday's date and put today's. If some unfinished tasks get left behind too many pages back, I'll migrate them then.

I'm also thinking about maybe dividing the daily log into three sections horizontally per page. As a task pops into my head, I'll jot it down in one of the three sections based on: a) priority and b) time of day. For instance, the other day I needed to remember that a neighbour was dropping by in the evening to discuss something and I had to remember to give her back her key then. It was jotted down halfway up the page, and there were a bunch of tasks that I jotted down, and completed, after it. With the three sections method, I would have instead jotted it down further down the page in the third section. That way, it wouldn't have gotten lost in the weeds of all the tasks I completed earlier in the day. I think this will just help me visually keep a rolling list of tasks that mostly get completed from top to bottom. As well, some tasks can only be done at certain times of day (i.e. during regular business hours). So if, for instance, there's something that doesn't really matter when it gets done but, when it does, it should preferably be in the morning, I'd always jot that down in the first section of the daily log. If I miss doing it, I migrate it over to the next morning's section. I'm thinking there's probably other ways I can divide the daily log page as well, like a section for kitchen chores, a section for online chores and a section for errands. That would help me batch tasks together. But I'm sure a logical setup will shake itself out as I continue using the journal.

Something I've learned about the bullet journal community: I've been watching YouTube videos for "beginner bullet journaling" and I'm beginning to understand that some people spend a lot of time making their bullet journals pretty. Like, maybe too much time. Like, maybe to the point where they quit bullet journaling because it takes too much time. Or, they don't even get started in the first place because all they see are these beautiful, trending journals and they have a panic attack before even cracking open their shiny, new, $125-dollar, leather-bound, gold-embossed, hand-made organic paper harvested on a new moon notebook. That seems like such a shame. I think we need a counter-trend: mediocre bullet journaling. I'll start. Here are the daily log pages (circled in blue) of my mediocre bullet journal. It's been about 5 days and I have three full pages of bullets already! The first two pages of bullets mostly have a lovely x beside them 👍💪

It'll be fun to look back on this and see what changes I make to the layout as I get further along in the practice.

P.S. My cataract surgery was cancelled!! Rescheduled for next week 😮‍💨 I think this is mainly why I'm feeling burnt out. I spent a lot of mental energy preparing for this last week, and now the adrenaline is gone.

[alwaysthesitter]

Just a little 'shadow ban' update. It's been about two weeks, and I'm still waiting. Everyone keeps telling me to just make a new blog but I'm stubborn, dumb, and lazy (much like my muse). So I'm going to keep waiting it out. Most I've seen it take is a week so if things don't change by end of October, I might re-evaluate. THAT BEING SAID. Someone mentioned yesterday (very smart of them) that the reason I might not be getting as many memes sent in is because people don't get notified when I post new things. This is true, BUT. There's also a secret (ish, not really) around this. Tumblr will indeed still notify you if I post anything with your name. That being said, once you click the notification, POOF. Nothing will show up. Vanishes like magic. If you get a mysterious vanishing notif, it's probably be interacting with you in some way (unless you have another shadow banned friend). There are also two ways around it, one of which is going to be more effort. What can you do to see if you missed a reply from me? Check my blog every night. My queue ends at 5:30 PM EST, and posts 8 times a day. So if you're logging on and you really want to know, you can always look and scroll through the last day's posts. Effort, yes, but definitely doable.

And if you can't do that? The other way. Once my blog is finally out of the shadow realm, I'm going to make a post, stating to like the post if you want me to let you know what you may have missed during the lovely month of October. Fortunately I'm really great at tagging my stuff with your usernames, so it's really easy to search my blog and find all things that have been posted to each and every one of you. I want to be able to do that for you guys once the ban is lifted, and I'll send you any posts that don't have responses yet. That doesn't mean there's a rush to reply to them, and for all I know maybe you DID see them and haven't replied yet, but at least then all our bases are covered.

All that said, keep sending things. I don't want to feel like I've disappeared just because this site is being dumb. In fact, I'm about to go through and start hacking away at the 200+ meme responses I owe, so I'm definitely getting to them. And if you haven't sent any in because you think I'm ignoring ones you previously have sent? Oh don't you worry, I'm not. I just have a ton to write. But no, that doesn't mean I'm overwhelmed either. I love writing. It just takes me time. Thanks for sticking around with me, lovelies.

[redmeet]

Excited for the next chapter soon!! And even more excited for the one after that, because it sounds like we’ll all be on the edges of our seats after this one.

Do you think you’ll have time over the Christmas period to write, or will you be busy with other commitments?

Also I think I might have you to blame for reinvigorating my relationship with Tumblr? I didn’t use it since about 2012, but now I’m logging on every day 🤦‍♀️

hi friend! I'm happy you're looking forward to both chapters 🥹 there's angst coming, but with what I hope is a very satisfying resolution <3

I'll definitely be free basically every night to write! and then during the day for a lot of the Christmas/New Years break... I have ten days off of work where, if my brain cooperates, I'll definitely be able to make a lot of headway! chapter seven might be coming closer to the New Year; I'm not sure yet how quick it'll be to write and edit but I'll of course keep everyone updated 🫶🏻

[godtier]

"op sec (operational security) is something i'm extremely passionate about. if anyone wants a full-ass post about that, i'm more than happy to throw one together."

yeah please

(only took me 3 minutes to read u actually bc i'm a quick reader and yet i took my time)

dank, this is what i like to hear! (also it's good that you were able to handle the tl;dr bc this post will probs be a lil tl;dr too lol)

i'll try to go over this point by point.

#1: don't use the same usernames on every single platform.

this is one of great contention nowadays because people like to have "brand recognition" of sorts. they like to be discoverable. they like their friends (and in some cases, fans) be able to find their posts across multiple platforms. this is all well and good if you are cultivating a specific type of experience. for example, if you're a content creator, it makes total sense.

most people online are not content creators, though. if you have no desire to be a content creator, try segmenting your experiences. that is to say, have ONE account with a username for your personal/IRL posts, and ONE account for your fandom shitposts. make them completely different. don't use the same user icon or whatever. don't use any PII (personal identifying information) on your fandom shitpost account.

even IF you would like to be a content creator, i would still suggest segmenting your experiences. if you manage to strike it big in a content creation space, think of this: eventually, you'll get crazy stalker fans. you may get people in your DMs asking invasive shit. prevent this from happening: have a contingency plan in place. this means, again, having SEPARATE usernames for your different purposes. is this annoying? sure. but it keeps you safe.

to illustrate what i mean, let's say you do want to be a content creator. your creator name is "mcguffinthecreator" (that's what it is now, you have to use this, it's the rules). you can have your content creator twitter, tumblr, facebook, insta, tiktok, whatever else have the username "mcguffinthecreator" for brand recognition purposes. for your personal shit, make up something totally different for each one that cannot be connected back to the mcguffin personality OR to each other. "anonsworld" for one. "ilikepencils" for another. so on and so forth.

#2: don't reuse passwords

this is a basic one you may have heard and most people shrug it off because it gets difficult to remember multiple passwords when every fuCKIN WEBSITE these days bullies you into creating an account.

but you don't have to.

use firefox and it'll generate passwords for you and save them to the browser. and if you ever need to copy and paste the passwords into another browser for whatever reason, you can do that by going to about:logins in the browser bar on firefox. and, if you make a firefox account (yeah i know aNOTHER ACCOUNT), any instance of firefox that you log into will port those passwords over, even on mobile devices. this is also a function on edge and chrome, but i highly recommend firefox over those two browsers for security reasons.

#3: don't use your real name on any account that you want to do fandom bullshit in

(or really in general, but i know that's not gonna happen for most people)

if you really wanna be low-key, don't give your real name to anyone online that you don't know IRL. yes, it is 100% possible to make real, genuine friendships with people online. i've known @sapphire-weapon for like, 15+ years and we've yet to meet in-person. i know her real name, she knows mine. but we never use them, anyway. we're just "ash n sirea" in any online shit we get up to, and it'll stay that way forever.

that might sound strange to a lot of people, but it protects both of us to do that. if we just started using each other's real names in tumblr posts, for example, that opens us both up to weirdos tryna find us. it sounds paranoid and it probably is, but we both grew up during a time when the internet was just getting big. both of us remember a time before having a personal computer in the house or everyone having internet at home or everyone having a cellphone. and we were both taught to never give out your real name to anyone online, ever.

this protects us from shit like... yknow... people calling our places of employment to tell our bosses that we're horrible people, actually. which is a thing that people do like it's normal nowadays since it's so fuckin easy to find information on more normal people. you say one wrong thing and it's easy for someone who's got a chafed enough bhole to find your deets and start harassing you IRL. keeping your PII close to the chest is the smart thing to do if you plan on getting involved in any online discussions these days.

#4: don't post any identifying pics on your fandom bullshit accounts

this means selfies, pics of your house, pics of places around your house, so on and so forth. again, this sounds restrictive, but it's extremely easy to find where people live that way AND it opens you up to AI photo manip bullshit. if you must post a pic, be sure to strip its EXIF data before posting it. you can find steps on how to do that here. and just... don't post selfies publicly. at all. even if you strip the EXIF data before posting, that doesn't prevent people from taking your selfie and running it through either a photoshop manip or an AI tool. share selfies only with people you absolutely, 100% trust. this means locking down instagram accounts where you want to post selfies, for example. this goes back to having multiple accounts for different purposes.

#5: inform your friends that, if they know your fandom bs accounts, to NOT tag you in posts that they think you would like

this is a huge hole that people often overlook. let's say you have some IRL friends that are also into fandom. let's say you've been doing your due diligence and keeping your experiences segmented. you've got different usernames, don't use your IRL info on the fandom account, you're all good.

you share these accounts with your IRL fandom friends because maybe you post insightful stuff, funny fandom memes, or maybe you're an artist. you figure "they're my friends, they're not gonna purposefully expose me."

problem is, a lot of people these days don't really "get" the concept of keeping your info on lock online. you can't assume that they'll look at a situation the same way you do.

so let's say your friend finds a funny meme for the fandom you're in. they know you have a personal account and a fandom account. they figure "well, i'll tag the fandom account because this is fandom-related." so they do.

here's the problem: let's say you've pissed off someone who's hate-following you. they see someone's tagged you on a post. maybe the friend even uses your real name rather than your handle because why would they use your handle? they know you IRL. to the friend, it's harmless and makes sense to use the name they've always known you by.

but to the hate-follower, they've just been handed a juicy dish on a silver platter. now they can use a few tricks to find your actual personal account. for the sake of clarity, let's use twitter as an example. let's also assume that on your IRL account, you're using your real name. and let's ALSO assume that your friend doesn't lock down their account because most people really don't.

they go to the friend's account who tagged you.

they look in their following list.

they look for your name.

they find the account.

they see your personal deets just sittin there, ripe for the picking.

they can now harass you and stalk you with more precision than if they just had your fandom account handle.

for that reason, you have to make a call here. do you share your fandom account with your IRL friends that you trust to not fuck you over on purpose? or do you keep that private from even them to protect yourself from unintentional exposure? depending on your friend group, some may be more diligent than others when it come to keeping your accounts properly segmented. you can tell your friends that have the account to never tag you in anything and to just private message it to you. that's one option. the other is to just never reveal that you have a fandom account and interact with fandom on a very, VERY surface level degree on your IRL account. the last is to just never post anything on your personal IRL account and/or lock it to friends only.

#5: "commit to the bit." don't break "character" if you meet someone in fandom who seems really cool

now, i say "character" as if you'd be acting differently, but what i really mean is your handle and username set-up for your fandom bs account. if you meet someone really cool, don't get starstruck and answer any question they pose to you like "what area are you in?" or "is [handle] your actual name?" because these are dangerous questions to answer when you don't know what the intent is. again, it sounds paranoid, but assume everyone you meet online could potentially fuck you over in the end. it took me a very long time to tell my closest online friends my actual name and location. i've met some of them IRL and i've sent letters/packages to others. it's not unheard of, but it's not something i do lightly. if you are REALLY keen on becoming pen pals with someone, set up a PO box.

this also protects you from common scams like pig butchering or revenge porn. online dating is more ubiquitous than ever and who wouldn't want a bf or gf who's into fandom like you are? problem is that you can open yourself up to trouble if you meet someone who's really really interested in your personal life when you're on your fandom bs account. don't give up your IRL account for anyone who asks, just because you're into them, romantically or otherwise. most people who are looking to scam or troll don't tend to pull a long game. this means being pals with someone for an extended period of time before opening up any further.

#6: don't give away personal troubles to anyone in fandom

this means shit beyond like "my mom is being an asshole" and going into providing detailed backgrounds on your tumultuous family relations. this gives people ammunition. if you're in DM with someone and it comes up in conversation, don't go into detail. treat it like a work relationship: coworkers don't need to know your personal life and neither do fandom friends.

and that's what i got for now. there's a lot to go into regarding PII opsec. there's a subreddit called /r/privacy that i'd recommend perusing for more ideas on how to protect yourself online. they tend to go into things like online tracking, advertising, VPNs, and so on, but they also have discussions about just keeping yourself as anonymous as possible online in relation to your IRL self.

i hope this helps! feel free to share it to any of your pals if you like and if you have more questions, just let me know!

[littlegreenlog]

Looking at the Present, the Past, & the Future - I'll Just Share & I'll Just Ask

Where I Am Now

So, I've had COVID for the past 6 days including today. I've been testing negative and pretty good, but I'm still tired, a little unfocused, and a little head discomfort. This is the second confirmed time. I was lightly sick for a few days before the launch of the Climate Gallery and it felt like COVID, but I never tested positive.

So, this time comes after a work trip to New Orleans. Getting COVID away from home was a huge fear for me. Truthfully, I'm very pitiful when sick. The first time I had COVID it lasted for 11 days and I really struggled all those days. Also, COVID is scary! We all stayed home for many months (and in the Bay and for me, for years). Another reason it scared me is that I've always worried about the expense of having to stay somewhere, change flights, etc. And I really don't want to get other people sick either. It's hard to care for yourself in a place you don't live without being around other people at least some. Even if you're masking, it's hard to know if that's enough. And those folks don't deserve to get sick just cause you're around.

That's why when this happened, I was really scared. The people I was with weren't particularly helpful when I really needed help making decisions and things, but it was good to know they were there, and they did help make it easier in moments.

I think I did a pretty good job handling my affairs. I was able to get Paxlovid which helped it seem less severe this time. I'm so thankful for that. It was a struggle because during a telehealth appointment with fucking One Medical, they said, "Oh, if you're not in California, we can't help you." This is so absurd to me. Borders are so absurd. The US is barely a joint country, we're like separate countries. And even if you're in another country, you should be able to get care from your provider. And what about the oath to help people? Ugh. I did start crying at this point because I didn't know where I was going to stay or how I could get care, but I was able to find help in other ways. Honestly, though, it shouldn't be this hard to get medicine to help you when you're sick. Our priorities in America are so misplaced.

The short version here is that after reflecting on everything, I know I did a good job taking care of myself (and Nik and Mom were SO amazing and supportive and loving), but I do realize one thing that I should really work on:

Learning: I need to get better at asking for help and, when doing so, being explicit about what I need. I often give people too many outs and options. It's not their fault that they don't help me the way I need them to if I don't ask clearly for what I want from them. I always expect people to read me and go the distance that I would for them, but that's not something that ever happens and I'm often disappointed.

The Past

Today, I've spent some time looking at a lot of my past Tumblr nonsense. There weren't many personal posts, mostly reblogs, but even so, it's funny because that person who posted those things feels really different than the person I am today, but also very similar. I still love cute things and sweets and comics and video games, etc. But the majority of the posts were from my Senior year of high school and first 2 years of college. At that time I was interested in so many different things and that makes me proud of that past self, but I was also so sheltered and just young. And sometimes I felt very cringey at my past self. Even so, I tried my best to leave those posts be, so that I can look at them again someday and smile about the goofy kid I was. I definitely had some good smiles and memories from reviewing these. I wish that I had used Tumblr when I was in Korea or when I moved to the Bay. It has been a cute log of a few years of my life.

The Future

I think I'm going to try to use this space more to just get ideas out into the world. Even though no one sees them here (that actually might be better for me), I think I'm too locked away and scared of society.

To give myself some props, in many ways in my life, I'm super good a putting myself out there. To the point that I often take up too much space in a conversation, or end up being the leader of the group, or start a non-profit and host a VR gallery launch because I decide I can and want to.

Even so, I'm often too scared to share my cringy, real self. I'm too scared to ask for help and to inconvenience people. I'm scared to share my shitty crafts and designs and art.

So instead of being scared, I'll just share it. So it'll be here, for future me to look at one day and have some good memories.

[sturkillerbase]

Hello friends!! It's been a while. A very long while, I know...

I'm writing this to tell you all that's happened in my life that stopped me from coming back here. I'll be tagging my closest mutuals, but feel free to not read this if you don't want to. Sorry in advance because it's going to be a long one :/

First of all, if any of you are upset or disappointed or frustrated with me for vanishing, I completely understand, and it's okay.

Back in June, the first week of it, I got quite sick, and my mind wasn't in the best of places. I thought a week or two off would be enough. But then, inthe middle of that period, I got a terrible flu. I had never had a flu episode like that in my whole life, and even my mom was scared. It was so bad I also ended up with otitis and sinusitis. We spent so much in doctors and medicines, and I actually to this day need sinus medicine. It's only been a couple weeks since I've felt 100% well. Well, all of that took me an entire month.

Since I was so sick, I was on my bed for the entire two weeks. I only left the house to go to the doctor and a few times in my backyard to get some fresh air. I also had no energy to talk to people, weather in person or online. So, as you can imagine, I had A LOT of time to think on my own. Which led to overthinking the most trivial things and, unfortunately, the absolutely not trivial things as well. I've always been depressed, and this led me down into a well of despair, sadness, emptiness and all that comes with it. I was feeling like a used, dirty, old rag thrown into a dark corner.

Now we get to July. Despite my depressed state, I apply to the cinema postgraduation I've been waiting for since January, and I start making plans for my tumblr comeback. Then, I have MAJOR issues with the institution and its website. The website subscription page does not recognize the email I applied with. Without being able to log in to the page, I can’t complete my application, because I can't send the documents they require. I get in touch with them. The first people I talk to are completely useless, and send me copy-pasted instructions that don’t help at all. I then find another way of contacting them. They now know about it and say they'll fix the issue. Well, the entire month of July goes by, with me contacting them and them not solving the issue. They only halfway fix it when I tell them I'll be contacting the consumer's defense system (the institution is a private one so I can sue them for this ridiculous situation and stress they put me under), since I've been with this issue since July 1st, and it was now August 1st, AND classes began on the 9th. I don't know exactly what the woman on the other side did, but suddenly I can access the student area and finally send the required documents. I was so stressed through the entire month, there was no way I had enough peace of mind to come back to my blog. And I didn't want to come back just to complain and be angry.

But all is good now right? The degree of my dreams was about to start. I finally felt I had a purpose in life. I admitted to myself I was mentally worse than I thought I was, and that allowed me to start working on getting better. I get the urge to start illustrating again, something I love but hadn't done since January. Things are going just FINE.

Until they don't.

On August 3rd I'm informed the post grad classes won't be happening this trimester because there wasn't enough quorum. I'll have to wait until the next class, in October. After all that stress they made me go through for a whole month...

My mind crashes again. I'm back to the starting point, which, to me, feels like a loser's point.

But FINE! I'll wait. It'll happen, just not now.

Fast forwards to last Friday, August 12th. I was happy. I went to my friend's birthday party and I had fun. My friend and I have a trip scheduled for next week. I chose nice stuff at the supermarket for a nice Father's day dinner (this year it was on August 14th here in my country).

Then, last Friday, during dinner, my dad decides to be an ass. He says the most stupid shit he's ever said. I've always had issues with him but things had been doing well lately. But he just had to ruin it all.

So now here I am. My mind is fucked up again. I couldn't bring myself to wishing him a happy father's day or even giving him a hug. Well, how can I after his last episode of not wanting to be a proper father who fulfills the basic things he's supposed to as a parent? Plus accusing of things I had never done or said?? I'm angry. I'm upset. This makes me sick and gives me a headache. I feel like punching a punching bag for an entire week at least.

I'm truly hoping this 4 day vacation, away at a beautiful place, with people I like, will ease my mind. After that, I'll be back here with all that I'm in debt with you.

I'm sorry this is so long. I'm sorry I've been away, with no apparent signs of coming back. I haven't been a good friend to you here on tumblr. But I hope you'll understand I had no energy left to be here. English is not my first language, so even thinking in it was overwhelming to my already overworked and over exhausted brain.

I want to thank @scorpio-marionette and @boliv-jenta for not giving up on me; I've seen all of your notifications, and although my mind was too far away for interacting, my heart was warmed everytime I got a notification from you.

I also want to thank all of you who'll be understanding of this messy situations. I don't hope or wish for forgiveness or pity. I wrote this because I wanted to let you know of it all.

I do love you all, and never stopped for a moment. I've missed all of our interactions, and I'm looking forward to getting back here and making new lovely memories with you. As I've mentioned a while ago, the best thing that I've ever done and that ever happened to me was joining the Pedro Pascal fandom, because I had never met people that are so, SO lovely, kind, comprehensive and talented!!

Sending you all all my love and best wishes,

Ana 💖

@scorpio-marionette @boliv-jenta @darth-voder @supernaturalgirl20 @misspearly1 @mandoblowmybackout @becksxoxo @littlemisspascal @oonajaeadira

[escapenightmare]

― important note (not really).

ok so, i have exams in around 2 weeks and i want to take a break from tumblr to focus on them. i won't be online most of the time, so i won't be able to answer asks or reply to pms, but if i get motivation to write something, it will be queue'd to be posted along with some reblogs and random shit posts during the few days i'm inactive because i don't want my blog to die.

i'm not sure when i'll be back but as exams are on the 29th and 30th, i probably won't log in until after that.

stay safe peeps <3

[nightswithkookmin]

JIKOOK: DEAR ARMY WE ARE IN LOVE

DISCLAIMER: I wouldn't take this particular post seriously. I mean it's something, but nothing at the same time. I just do these kinds of 'analysis' for fun and for my own personal amusement.

Do you see it? Or do you need me to connect the dots for you? Thought you'd never ask! Lol

I have always been fascinated by BTS's incorporation of fine art, poetry, metaphors, imageries, philosophical and psychological theories etc into their craft.

They are brilliant at expressing themselves and conveying their emotions through art and music. I have always found that challenging and mentally stimulating.

Take for example this whole Dear Army moments they shared with us on Weverse this week. Yes, it's a marketing strategy, the objective of which is to build an intimate connection with Army but most importantly hear feedback from Army on the struggles we are each facing in light of Covid 19 and also to provide feedback on why we love and stan BTS through their recommended hashtags.

Suga had already explained they were going to do this in that March YouTube live and so it's no brainer. The fun part for me, which of course is subjective, is the embedded meaning behind this whole Dear Army concept.

The progression from day to night, the use of contrast etc is all very reminiscent of the message of Bulletproof eternal- we are not seven with you. Especially with Suga and Hobi's postcard being taken directly from the BTS bonfire moment in Bonvoyage which made a cameo in Bulletproof eternal and the allusion to winter in both artworks.

The overall message of Dear Army is very simple: we had nothing but dreams, open our eyes to a foggy morning, so much pain too much crying; after seven winters and spring- we are all in this together, BTS and Army forever.

I also found the exploration of the cycle of life, the ambiguity of morning and night that blurs the line between evening and daybreak quite interesting. Its always been a recurring theme in their songs and arts. It's just them reassuring and connecting with us through their ingenuity as usual.

But of course this is just my opinion and my interpretation of their use of symbolism and allusions. And as much as I enjoy deconstructing BTS's musical genius, I'm just going to focus on Jikook's message- well not message, message but their artistic expressions in Dear Army.

JIKOOK'S MESSAGE

Now I already talked about the body text of Jimin's post and so I'm not going over that again. Jk's text is equally very much straightforward and is just a restatement of the message he shared in his recent YouTube live about rediscovering his purpose in life. So I won't focus on that either.

It's the artwork they chose that I am interested in and fascinated by. I was trying to ascertain whether the art work for the postcards where chosen randomly by staff or whether it was something the members themselves chose as at first glance it looked pretty generic- I wasn't able to confirm so...

Now from what Suga said about incorporating letters into their upcoming album, I'm just going to assume BTS themselves chose these images and the creative directors added their finishing touches to it- based on the tone and mood BTS had described.

Let's start with Jimin's. I clocked immediately I saw his postcard where the concept of that artwork or background image was from. I'll circle back to this hold on.

I value and pay alot of attention to the unique ways that each member of BTS expresses themselves. Those unadulterated, authentic expressions of self provides a better sense of who they are as Individuals rather than the perfectly curated, highly edited and performative versions of themselves we see screens. In my opinion.

Take Tae and JK for example. These two men are the kinds who'd write a song about their feelings and emotions when they are hurt. Lol. They deep for no reason. Bless them.

Jimin talks a lot. He is a verbal communicator. But hardly does he reveal any relevant details about himself that gives insight into his psyche and persona through his words. Again, in my opinion.

I keep saying his persona is very elusive to me. He tends to give us so much he ends up not giving us anything at all. Unlike Tae or even JK who write songs, recommend songs, or even GCF(JK) that gives us insight into their personal feelings, Jimin doesn't do covers as much and the songs he recommendes aren't as insightful into his deepest thoughts and feelings. He is very elusive that way.

That doesn't mean he doesn't express himself. He does, just not through his music like the others. In my opinion. Mostly he expresses his wants, his desires through his music but his sensuality through his dance.

It seems also that he explores his identity and expresses the exploration of that identity through the body arts he inks himself with temporarily or permanently.

Jk I find is the opposite. He doesn't explore his identity through his body art. Nor his sensuality through dance. Rather he expresses his values and the things he cherishes through his body art; his thoughts and feelings through his music and art.

And so while Jimin would be inking temptress, seductress, bigender on his body, JK would be inking- rather cool than dead and other symbols that represents his beliefs and values on his body.

I'm going off on a tangent, am I not? Sigh

Back to the post card. When I saw JM's postcard, it immediately reminded me of JK's GCF in Helsinki. [Couldn't attach image due to Tumblr but check it yourself]

It reminded me of JK's Frozen sunset theme, his use of warm and cold contrasting colors throughout that GCF and also the ending parts of GCF Helsinki where the sun is setting over the clouds just as in this post card- Frozen Sunset.

Jk also made an allusion to that frozen sunset in his song Still with you. I am particular about his use of the words Sky, clouds, sunset etc when they appear in his music, paintings or tattoos because he once said it's something he loves taking pictures of- that and of course Jimin.

I pay much attention to the things he says he loves and so I look for them in his self expressions to try and understand why he loves it and what it means to him.

Honestly, I didn't think much of JM's postcard art when I saw that use of the frozen sunset for his postcard. I thought, well staff could have picked it out randomly so I was waiting to see JK's postcard and the overall concept for Dear Army to see if this was something JM had done intentionally.

Part of me also felt those themes they presented in the post card art work were metaphors for the kind of songs they would be creating in the new Album just as Suga had said.

But JK's postcard art made me suspicious of JM's post card. JK's postcard art is the odd one out of all the artworks for the postcards. Sope had a similar complimentary art taken from the bonfire moment of Bulletproof Eternal as I mentioned earlier. The rest all had elements pertaining to nature- sky, parks etc except JK's.

Also the theme and symbolism of Jk's art convinces me he chose his artwork himself for that post- I mean I could be wrong but...

Remember when I talked about GCF Helsinki, Still with you and Never Not etc and I said they all had a similar theme- something about roads and paths, being mismatched, not being on the same page, not having the same goals etc?

GCF Helsinki- I'll take the desert, you take the coast to each his own.( moving in different paths)

Still with you: Though our steps may not go along together, I still want to walk this path with you.(again, mismatched paths repeated)

I was intrigued by that recurring theme of roads and paths leading in different directions in JK's music and art in this timeline especially as it contrasts heavily with the themes of his past timelines.

And I even speculated that I felt it was in reference to him and JM not meeting minds on the direction they wanted to take their relationship.

I have been waiting eagerly for him to release yet another cover or art since still with to see what that whole mismatched, separate roads thingy was all about but he didn't do his birthday cover this year- among other things.

It's thus funny to be that in this post card thingy he chose train tracks- intersecting train tracks to represent his feelings and coupled with the message of him rediscovering his passion- It doesn't feel like a coincidence to me or something staff would chose for him.

It certainly doesn't help my delusional brain cells, that JM flashed that Mickey Mouse during his VLive which again I felt was an allusion to their GCF in Tokyo.

First he is making allusions to GCF Tokyo, now GCF Helsinki, signing his name to JK's posts at Pop-ups...

Remember when I said that if JM was the one who had stopped JK from posting on his birthday, that he would come swinging hard on his Jikook agenda? Remember that?

If JK posting on his birthday was important to JM, chilee nothing would have stopped JM from logging into Twitter, posting and signing JK's damn name to his post- if saving face is what was important to him. It's not like he's not done that before. He could have done that and we wouldn't even know it wasn't from JK. Lol

He really is the one that stopped JK from posting on his birthday for whatever reason- wink. You know. Lol

Park Jimin is not the 'victim' in this birthday drama. He is guilty party your honor. Guilty per the books. Lol

Stay supporting Jikook, your life will be easier that way. Bless you.

Signed,

GOLDY

[aimai-ronri]

Reworking the Fuzzy Gaming Quest

This is the first time I've ever blogged publicly about something like this. I usually talk to friends about it, but I just as often don't say anything, because when I talk about video-games I get hyperfocused and sometimes the conversation takes a long time, so I often feel like it's a bit rude to get people wrapped up in it. But I remembered I have a tumblr now and people actually blog on here sometimes, so: prepare to suffer.

To set up why I'm so weird about games allow me to explain: first of all, I'm obviously not neurotypical in some way I don't know but one day would like to figure out. SECOND, I've been playing video-games literally since I can remember. My first real memories of cognition are watching my dad put cartridges in the NES, and climbing on the bed to put our Thai bootleg cart in there myself so I could play weird sprite hacks of Super Mario Bros. So anyway, gaming has factored heavily in my life since the beginning.

Anyway long story short, this has led to, for a long time, me wanting to leave some kind of legacy behind me in the form of a trail of beaten-up old video-games. Often this takes the form of just wanting to curate out a collection (physical or unholy--I mean digital) that I can leave behind in some state of completion, but on top of that it comes as me wanting to sit down and truly spend time with the games that are most important to my history over the course of my lifetime.

This has led to me making innumerable 'systems' for approaching the task of having a humongous backlog of video-games (some might say longer than is completable than anyone in a life time, and I recognize this) and often these systems get replaced or revised for being inadequate in some way. The latest no-thought system on my part was the Fuzzy Gaming Quest, in which the goal was basically to play through games starting from the beginning of time and blasting through at hyper-speed, with the intention of covering as much ground in order to induce familiarity as fast as possible with arcade games from an era I've rarely played (but longed for in my old man's soul).

This was working but I quickly ran into a snag (after recording about 250 videos 😥): I wasn't spending as much time with individual games as I'd like by any means. On one hand, I was backlogging games I was enjoying just to get them out of the way and continue the progress. On the other, sometimes I wasn't sure how much time you'd even spend with a game to consider yourself familiarized enough to rank it in some way, without necessarily having to beat everything (who has the time?). Not to mention arcade games that have no viable ending for the regular player (Pac-Man, Galaga, etc).

So anyway all this is leading up to me explaining the next iteration of the Fuzzy Gaming Quest. Here's a picture!

What you're looking at is essentially a 7 day scoreboard for various games that I selected out as important during my previous pass through the 70s and most of the 80s. These are all games I wanted to play more of or possibly log in a list.

7 days is my naive answer to how long I think would be good to spend on a game, in order to get competent enough at it to get a decent score and/or feel you've experienced your average game enough to go ahead and put it somewhere in a list. It might seem like overkill for a simple arcade game (though I'd argue you need to play repeatedly and give your brain time to absorb it to get the true experience), and it may seem like underkill for an RPG (though I'd argue that most RPGs probably aren't changing much more if you've been playing for 7 days already, but this doesn't forbid from continuing to play if I choose to), but this is my naive and probably flawed answer, anyway.

This is meant to serve the purpose of: - Progressing reasonably fast (notice this is a list of basically banger games everyone has heard of, I will probably only include a few games here or there that are lesser known that I just happen to like--I'll also be avoiding some consoles intentionally that I don't particularly like (like the Odyssey 2, sorry, it's my list though--convince me otherwise if you like)) - Filtering into some kind of "best of" list (if I don't even want to play it for 7 days (in brief sessions), it must not be very good after all and doesn't deserve to be on any best of list I would leave behind me--games that I do get through the 7 days I should understand enough to rank competently enough to make myself happy) - Giving me an excuse to spend more time on the games that really matter to me, today, in case I get hit by a bus tomorrow - Giving me a target for when I'm able to comfortably say I've experienced a game enough and don't need to feel bad about moving on if I want to but still haven't "beat it," and also leaving room for playing more if I like (I can sort it, take it off the board, but finish it anyway on the DL) (Also, if I do beat it, I can stop there with the board) - Satisfying whatever kind of ADHD thing I have going on by allowing me to keep a variety of games on rotation for some amount of time and not just getting stuck behind one game at a time - Breaking game experiences down over multiple days to allow a longer time to think about them and grow accustomed to them, also to allow me to fit them into my busy schedule by playing Space Invaders on the toilet for ~10 minutes - To leave behind a journal of high scores or information about how far I got in various games as I plod on

So, you may (rightly) ask: What's the point of all this? Why can't I just play games that I like and call it a day?

Well my first answer would be, "shut up I know you're right I just can't, my brain is broken," but my second answer, the one I would say aloud, might be that I really have always wanted to take a targeted approach to going through all of game history and that's what this is in service of.

I have no false expectations about getting all the way through game history up to now in one lifetime, at least not without sacrificing a lot of games in the process. I definitely won't ever get to the point where I'm always keeping up with contemporary games. It's lucky for me that I mostly fell out of favor with games around 2011 for various reasons, but really it had been a steady decline of interest since about 2005 or so. I have a shorter-hand target, but if I were to ever reach it, I'd like to keep going on, even if it means playing PS4 games in 2061 when I'm almost as old as my dad is now.

Anyway, your second question (and wow, if you made it this far) might be: "so what does this mean for your tumblr, which I care about intimately after seeing 20 posts, and was gutted when you temporarily took a break, and have been looking for meaning in my life ever since?"

Well, true believer, if you want I might post my 7 day high-score for various arcade games or something along with some pictures or videos of high points of the game (when I get to games complicated enough to have cool art). I haven't decided yet. I'm open to suggestions! I'd love to see people try to (and succeed!) at beating my scores (I'd feel like I influenced someone into maybe playing some old, great game they wouldn't have before deciding to just then).

If nothing else I hope it was interesting to see my thought process about this stuff.

If that's not true, I hope you were entertained by a write up of someone's journey ever deeper into video-game delirium.

And yes, I will get frustrated with the system and change it again in approximately a month.

[madmonroe]

Spoilerish in text below for SUF episodes 11 and 12!

So. Firstly, I just wanna say I drew this in anticipation of Steven getting the hugs and love and help he needs, before the new episodes dropped this past weekend. Secondly, I logged on Tumblr Saturday night to add filters in order to avoid spoilers, only to get things mildly spoiled by people who don't tag their posts very well... I should've added filters sooner, but I forgot. I wanted to wait to watch all the episodes together at the end of the month, but I went ahead and watched 11 and 12 since I already saw something spoilerish and NEEDED TO KNOWWWWWW. Anyway, I figured I'd post this and disappear again completely in order to totally avoid spoilers.

BUT NOT BEFORE I THROW UP MY LOVE FOR THIS SHOW. I usually don't get really verbal in fandoms, but I kinda wanna gush about all the emotions. During the first 10 episodes of Future, we all did our fair share of speculation on what Steven is going through and what he should do, so I'm not really going to weigh in on it all now. I'll just say that he has several issues all floating around the theme of being left behind, and it's obvious each episode is going to explore a different aspect of the that overall problem. I'm glad the show is exploring the different facets (gem pun?) of what's bothering Steven, instead of it being a two-dimensional "he has one problem and we're slowly revealing it and here's how to fix it in one easy step". One of the biggest parts I noticed other fans hone in on was him "being needed", which was finally verbalized in 11(In Dreams) with Peridot. I'M SO GLAD SHE GAVE THAT BOY A HUG AND REASSURED HIM OF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Uuuuuugggh! It was very much like 7(Snow Day) and even 9(Little Graduation); they danced around the issue a little and finally Steven had to talk about his feelings and the issue was addressed. I'm also glad that Bismuth took notice in Steven's problems with Connie in 12(Bismuth Casual) and was able to simply talk to him about what was bothering him.

I'm really excited to see what is to come of the next 8 episodes, even if I am a little sad to see the show end. This show has meant so much to me and will continue to for the rest of my life. I really wanted to draw Pyrite hugging Steven because he NEEDS REAL HUGS. I feel like these characters have constantly been there for me over the years, and in a way I just wish I could be there for them... I'll probably finish this later on? Or do a new drawing after SUF is finished? And talk more about how much I love this show???

Sorry for the long rambling post "XD

10 Mar '20 ~ Mad

[boyslaughplus]

Devlog #40 - Writing Structure In Detail

We’re currently on a posting break because of our workload regarding THINGS. :I But on a beautiful Friday night like tonight, I (Pectin) didn’t have anything better to do then be on tumblr - so here we are! We wrote something about a back log of posts. This is one of the boxed devlogs we wrote this summer. It’s about writing in Ren’Py. Enjoy! ヾ(○･ω･)ﾉ

Felix (eZombo):

[The] work I'm doing right now isn't really ready to be put into a devlog just yet, I decided to go into a bit more detail on the writing in //TODO: today in terms of its structure and branching.

But before we get to that, as you might have noticed we weren't able to keep up with the posting schedule of the remaining poll answers. Due to other responsibilities we have to take care of, we ran into a few delays so we'll only be able to post one answer per week. So even if it will take a bit longer now, you'll definitely see them all!

And now back to writing!

If you were already reading our devlogs back in 2017, this might sound familiar but there is a lot I couldn't write about yet back then. Now that the game is out and pretty much complete though, it's finally time for an addition to the second devlog we ever posted!

I already wrote about the overall structure almost two years ago, so I won't repeat all of that now. What's important to know though is that //TODO: today features very little branching on a broader scale. Most of the time there are several ways to get through certain in-game days but all the branches eventually rejoin. With the exception of one day towards the end of the month, every playthrough will go through every in-game day in one way or another, but if there isn't much branching in the overall story path, then how does the story react to player choices?

Quite a while ago before we even started thinking about making //TODO: today, I read a blog post by Nicky Case in which they briefly talk about a concept they call "broadening". I think it's quite an interesting alternative to traditional branching as it tackles the problem of interactive stories growing exponentially due to player choices while still making the choices feel meaningful.

The gist of this idea is to keep a comparably concise path through the story but remember the choices that were made along the way (both important and unimportant). By doing that you can add callbacks to them when it's appropriate and as a result the story essentially feels "broader" than it actually is, even without entirely unique branches.

Of course there are some problems with this as well because you still need to find natural ways to include the callbacks in order to keep the illusion alive. If your story doesn't have branching and you make it too obvious that you are just repeating something from a previous choice (maybe even verbatim), the player will probably become aware that they are experiencing a linear story that tries to trick them into thinking it's not.

And given the premise of //TODO: today where you experience the story of a struggling artist who basically has a month to get their life in order, that would not only fail the player but also the basic concept.

In the end //TODO: today uses a combination of "branching" and "broadening" and especially in the second half, this is used quite extensively.

Because there's no way around it to fully go into detail on this, the following part will be somewhat spoiler-heavy but if you've read this far, I'm assuming you've played the game already.

Essentially, there is one major event that influences pretty much the entirety of the second half: Joyce's departure. More important structurally though is whether or not Joyce returns.

All scenes at Teal's home after March 22nd have two versions depending on whether Joyce is there or not. Other scenes maybe change a few lines but can usually avoid having too drastic changes.

Some days like the Naughty Cat competition have whole variations where Teal either takes part or watches a live stream of it (although it reuses some text here and there, too). The variation where Teal is at home and watches the live stream also has two versions, one with and one without Joyce but for the most part those aren't entirely separate scenes and instead use if-statements to selectively use or skip certain lines.

This gets especially complicated once the romance comes into play and we have a scene like the following one where effectively half of the dialogue is made up of these conditional-statements:

if joyceReturn:    if joyceRejected:        j "Good morning, [tName]."        j "How are you feeling today?"    else:        j "Good morning, [tName]!"        j "How are you feeling on this wonderful Monday?"    t "Morning, Joyce."    t "I'm fine."    if romance == "Joyce" or romance == "Phoenix":        t "Actually,{w=0.3} I feel pretty good."    if joyceRejected:        j "That's good to hear."    else:        j "That's great to hear!"    if romance == "Joyce":        j "It's the same for me."    j "Today is another day at the bookstore, right?"    if romance == "Phoenix":        t "Yeah.{w=0.3} And it's one of the last days Phoenix will be there."    else:        t "Yeah.{w=0.3} There's only two left this month."    j "Oh, right. The month is almost over now."    if tMoney < 700:        t "I hope I'll make enough money..."    else:        t "At least I made enough money."

Well, and of course there's also a version of this scene without Joyce.

else:    t "March is almost over now."    t "I only have two more work days this month."    if tMoney < 700:        t "I hope I'll make enough money..."    else:        t "At least I managed to make enough money..."    if romance == "Phoenix":        t "But I still can't believe what happened on Saturday."        t "I'm somehow really excited to see [pthem] at the bookstore today!"        t "Especially because it's one of the last days we'll be working together..."

This basic technique is used quite often to various extends so sometimes it's just a single line that could change based on previous events, sometimes the difference can be a whole scene (like the customer during the afternoon shift on March 13th who only comes back to return a book if you chose the correct one four days earlier), or like in the above example: a mixture of both.

As you can see, this way of handling the consequences of player choices doesn't entirely cut down on writing variations but just in terms of sheer scope I think it's still easier to handle than writing the same scene twice or more. Of course intertwining the variations with nested if-statements brings some problems of its own because it becomes increasingly difficult to see if the dialogue still flows well in all possible variations.

Ultimately it all comes down to deciding which structure or technique best strikes a balance between being economic and making the story feel interactive. And there's no one true way to do that.

For //TODO: today's overall theme and structure it made sense to tell the story day for day and weave in all the branches and variations within those fixed sections of the plot. Having said that, there are plenty of moments where I strayed from the economic side and wrote some dialogue for cases that are highly unlikely to be seen by many people. Conversely, other moments in the game may be disillusioning if you play it multiple times and realize just how much (or little) changes.

Figuring out what use of branching (or other techniques) is sensible or not for certain situations is a whole other topic so I'll just leave it at that, but I hope this insight into //TODO: today's script was interesting!

[...]

[This post has been originally published on June, 21 2019 on our blog. The brackets indicate small edits for the sake of a better reading experience. Thanks for reading and have a nice day! :3 ]

[nommi]

hi nommi, i feel like you're not answering our asks as much as you used to. i dont mean this in a rude way, i love you & your blog and understand you're busy and have a life. i just wanted to ask if you mind me/other people asking you so many questions? because if you're busy or gong thru anything hard in your life, i'll maybe send you less asks idk im just worried about sending you too many asks.

Hello, love! First of all, thank you very much for being so sweet, I’m very glad to know that you love me and my blog ♥

Now, relating to answering my asks, you are right indeed. Since last year that I’ve gradually stopped answering to my asks as quickly (since I do still answer to them all, I just might take more time to get to them), essentially because I started University, changed countries and started working a part-time job, everything at the same time. So my life changed completely and, most of the days, I just arrived home and didn’t really feel as much energy to actually go online. I remember that during my whole first semester of Uni last year I didn’t even have a laptop, so I barely logged in on Tumblr (I don’t really like using the Tumblr mobile app).

However, last summer, I remember being at a family dinner and talking with my brother about how much I actually missed answering to so many asks daily and being able to interact with lots of people all around the world, listening to their stories, advicing them on their own personal struggles, just being, in a way, a source of guidance and, most of all, a friend.

I do still miss it quite a lot. Even if I still answer one or two asks now and then, I still miss the days when I used to get so many people seeking me for advice or even just to chat with.

In the end, I’m still more than open to receiving your messages. Honestly, I would never deny giving you guys my help. Even random asks or curious questions are more than welcome! I really want to start to interact with you all like we did before. So don’t ever feel like you’re bothering me!

Also, thank you for being so considerate, it really means a lot to me. 

Hope you have a wonderful day and always know that I’m here for anything you need