#I'll miss all of you even if I'm not really leaving
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chaiihuo · 3 days ago
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୨ৎ 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓪𝓬𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓸𝓭 . . . ft. boothill
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boothill x f! reader. established relationship (but still new). nonsexual intimacy. petnames.
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boothill visits you a lot, knocking on the door to your apartment at least two or three times a week. sometimes he stays a few hours, sometimes he stays the night. it just depends really. but he always comes. and he always comes with a gift, a little stuffed animal, or a single flower he picked on his walk to your place. but it's always something. he made you smile, and that's all he wanted.
he had come to your apartment later in the evening this time. not being able to make it until well after sundown. he was honestly surprised when you opened the door for him, he had expected you to be in bed by now. but your door opened, and there you were, standing in the doorway, the light from the entryway behind you made you look like some kind of angel to him.
"well, hello there, pretty girl," he said. he couldn't help the silly grin across his face. "i got this for you" he held out a single premature dandelion.
"thank you," you smiled back at him, taking the bright yellow flower from his hand, and stepping to the side to let him in.
once the door closed behind him, and he hung his hat on the coat rack on the wall. he reached out to you, fingers curling around your hips to pull your body to him. "i missed you" he mumbled into your hair, before resting his chin on the top of your head.
"i missed you too—" your response was cut short by an absolutely awful smell. you took a breath in through your nose, trying to locate where the smell was coming from. "oh, goodness boothill ! when was the last time you washed your hair ?!"
boothill looked down at you, his brow raised, he seemed confused. "i dunno" he shrugged, "how often am i supposed to ?"
"more than you have been, clearly !" you exclaimed
"is it really that bad ?" boothill asked. he seemed genuinely confused. like he didn't smell the near nauseating scent coming off his hair.
you nodded your head, "come here" you said with a little sigh, walking into the kitchen, dragging a chair from the dining room table up to the sink. "take your jacket off and sit down here" you said, it came out more like an order than you intended it to. but boothill didn't seem to mind, he kicked his boots off, leaving them by the front door, he knew you didn't like outside shoes on your carpet, and shrugged his jacket off, hanging it up on the coat rack with his hat.
he followed you into your kitchen, sitting himself down on the dining chair you brought over to the sink. he watched from the spot as you put the flower he got you between the pages of a heavy cookbook, pressing it down like you did all the flowers he got you. you left the room for a second, and returned with a towel over your arm, and a bottle of shampoo and conditioner in your hands.
"what's that for ?" he asked, nodding to the toiletries in your hand
"you" you answered, setting them down next to the sink, "i'm gonna wash your hair"
boothill's brow raised, just for a second before he shrugged his shoulders "alright" he said "just be careful with it, took a lot of work to grow all this out. and don't get any soap in my eyes"
"i'll do my best" you reassured him with a little chuckle, wrapping the towel around his shoulders, securing it with a hair tie.
boothill watched your hands as you tied the towel in place, it was made of a fuzzy cotton material, warm and soft against the back of his neck. "so, what do you want me to do ?" he asked
"just lean back, relax. i got it" you tilted his head back, he had to slouch in the chair quite a bit for his head to be where you needed it, but it wasn't too uncomfortable. it wasn't like his body could get sore.
you gathered all of his hair, and pulled it over the edge of the kitchen sink, the black and white strands pooling against the stainless steel. you turned the water on, waiting for it to get to a comfortable warmth before using the attachment next to the faucet to spray his hair.
using your free hand to undo any tangles, you made sure every strand of his head was thoroughly soaked before setting the attachment back in its place, and reaching for the shampoo. "the only shampoo i have here is mine" you said, squeezing a generous amount directly onto his scalp "so you're gonna smell like me"
"that's okay," boothill hummed, "you smell good" his eyes were closed, his shoulders were back, his breath slow and heavy, a subtle smile etched on his lips.
you nodded, smiling down at him. "alright" you said softly. you used both hands to rub the soap into his hair, pads of your fingers gently massaging it into his scalp, making careful work to coat every inch of it in the sweet smelling suds. boothill's head twitched, a little laugh escaping him as you moved to scrub behind his ears. you pulled your hands away, "are you okay ?" you asked
boothill nodded "perfect, darlin'," he answered "just tickled"
you nodded again, going back to your work. boothill's mouth was shut tightly, pressing his lips together hard to keep from laughing as your fingers scrubbed behind his ears.
once his scalp was fully coated and scrubbed, you ran your fingers down the length of his hair, coating it too with the soap, until the entirety of his hair was covered in a thick lather. "i'm gonna rinse it out now," you told him, receiving only a tiny, slow nod in response.
you put your hand on his forehead, holding it up like a mini wall to keep the soapy water from his eyes as you used the sink's spray attachment once again to rinse the soap out of his hair. you were extra attentive, making sure you got every last bit of the soap out of his hair, as leaving any behind would make this whole process pointless.
boothill was completely sill, his face and body were relaxed, legs spread, his feet flat on the ground. he wasn't bouncing his leg, or tapping his fingers on his thigh. which is usually what he'd be doing anytime he had to sit still for anything.
when the soap was rinsed from his hair, you grabbed the bottle of conditioner, and squeezed about a quarter sized amount on your palm, and ran it through the ends of his hair, careful not to get any on his scalp. "it has to sit for a little bit" you said, rinsing any of the left over residue from your hands.
there was no response, not even a hum or a nod, from boothill. "boots ?" you asked. there was still nothing. you looked over his face, there was no sign that he had heard you at all, not even in the tiniest twitch in his face. now that the water was off, and you weren't so focused on his hair, you could hear the quiet snores coming from him. "oh" you whispered, realizing only now that at some point during the process of washing his hair, he had been lulled to sleep.
you leaned down, brushing your lips ever so gently on his forehead, leaving a feather light kiss on his skin. the rancid smell he'd come into your apartment with now replaced with a sweet floral scent, mixed with subtle hints of vanilla and fresh cotton. you spoke in a hushed whisper, cautious to not wake up, saying out loud for the first time; "i love you, boothill"
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b-lossm · 3 days ago
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•+*Forevers a long time*+•
Vi (arcane) x reader [angst-> comfort kinda..]
synopsis: Vi visits your new home before her big mission..
SEASON 2 SPOILERS KINDA!!!!
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This is hard; fathoming the possibility that this may be the last time she sees you, its hard.
Vi tries her best to put up her brave walls again but when she hears your breath getting caught in your throat she realizes that its pointless "H-Hey this isn't goodbye" she says while haphazardly wiping your tears, trying to wipe her own as well, she knows that she might be lying, but for your sake she cant believe that too.
"B--But--" you start "No, I will come back, not in a box, okay?" she tries to reassure you through her shaky words wrapping her arms around you to bring you down "Vi d--don't even say that don't say that I wasn't trying to bring it up but--" hic "You cant leave, no, not right now, everything was going good before the explosion, you cant" you ramble on about how you two where finally gonna have a good life together, how her impatient self waited so long to get out of Stillwater to have a good life with you and now this? She quickly shuts you up with a soft kiss to bring you down.
"Hey--Hey Y/n breathe, breath Lovebug" she attempts to calm you down by tracing shapes into your side and kissing your cheeks, something that always works "I know, I don't like waiting for anything and we finally got here, but to make sure we keep everything we worked for I have to go, its only gonna be for a week ok and the---" you cut her off "Yeah a week where you might die!" she sighs, your right, your almost always right "Yeah, I know" she starts, pausing her motion for a split second, contemplating her life "Lovebug, you gotta understand that even if I do die, its for the greater cause, plus you know Cait, she doesn't miss, and you know me! I don't miss.. well most of the time" she chuckles while planting kisses all over your face and hairline.
When she finally gets you too stop crying she holds your hand "Tell you what.." she starts "When I come back, I'll get you that pretty promise ring you always wanted hm?" your mouth runs dry "Really Vi..?" you ask while your face flushes red "mhm' really, then I'll be yours forever, well until I really propose" she looks into your eyes, the color soothes her, it always does. You shake your head while smiling sadly "Well m' gonna hold it to you Vi, forever's a long time and I need you for that so you better come back" you say bittersweetly, still coping with the idea that your girlfriend might not come back.
"I want you to pinky promise that you'll come back Violet" 'Oh shit', she thinks you used her real name, She smiles and holds up her pinky “If I don't come back I want you too cut my pinky off for the funeral" she jokes as you interlock your fingers and lock it in with your thumbs "M' serious Vi, I need you here.. a lot of us do" you smile shyly "yeah I know" she says with a cocky smirk
Afterwards you two headed to bed and had hot and sad sesbian lex
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The day after you where a mess.
You got dressed and got her ready to go "Go get her Vi, I'm sorry that its her that you have to get.." you say sadly, reminiscing on the times you and Vi hung out with powder, the times that you wanted the small girl to cherish. "She's gone Y/n, m' sorry but she is, I think I'll be ok." she takes a deep breath, realizing that in a way she's become something she never wanted to be "I know, just, be careful.." You say while admiring your tall girlfriend in the mirror thinking its weird how she's wearing the enforcer uniform, then you hear Caitlyn's knock at the door.
"I guess this is it then.." she starts but you quickly shut her down "No, we where sad yesterday, today your gonna go be the only cool ass enforcer and your gonna get her. Then your gonna come back to me like you promised" You say, determined to lighten the mood, She quickly pulls you into a deep kiss, its a goodbye kiss you know it is, but it doesn't matter to you anymore.
"Bye--Bye Vi, I'll hold up the fort while your gone"
"Bye Lovebug, I'll see you in a week"
you watch them as they leave, Vi looking back too see if you where still looking as many times as she can to make sure she can remember your face.
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A/n
Season 2 brings me so much sorrow I made a playlist :(
This was supposed to be like Japanese Denim by Daniel Ceaser but it didnt really come through, I'll def make a fic based off of it more in the future though.
also why is there a Vi fanfic drought????, someone pls send me some, not alot of smut tho because there is so much.
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butterflyslinky · 2 days ago
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It's been seven months. They've seen each other on calls, but they keep up a mask of stiff professionalism if they have to talk at all.
But now Buck's sitting in a gay bar, looking for some fun the same way he does on every 48 off. His expectations are low. No one seems to want a real relationship, not that he's really trying for one, ad the sex is mediocre at best.
Because none of them are Tommy.
He's two drinks in when he hears a familiar laugh and turns. There's Tommy, sitting four stools down and talking to the bartender. Buck wonders how he missed him entering the bar, but it doesn't matter. What matters is Tommy is here, so close, and Buck...
Okay, he'd jumped the gun asking Tommy to move in. And everything he's said before that had been...not great. Thinking about it, it's no wonder Tommy had hit the brakes. Though he maybe could have asked to just take a break instead of ending it completely.
Though it would have gone the same way, probably.
Buck knocks back his last drink and stands. He's steady on his feet as he makes his way down the bar and plops himself into the empty seat next to Tommy
Tommy doesn't look shocked to see him. Not happy, either. Just kind of resigned. "Buck?"
"Don't," Buck says. "I don't want..." He grits his teeth to force back tears. "I think we need to talk."
"Why?" Tommy asks.
"Because I have things to say to you," Buck says. "And I'm not going to let you just walk out again."
He's said all those things, in texts that sat unanswered, voice messages that were probably deleted without being heard. This time, he wants to make sure Tommy hears.
"I don't have a lot of time tonight," Tommy says.
"Then I'll say it fast. You broke my heart, Tommy. You said you were my first but not my last...but you weren't my first. I've dated and broken up before, I know what relationships are. Just cause you're a dude doesn't mean it was any different. As to not being my last, well, I've had plenty in the last seven months and none of them are going to be my anything. I told you they can be the same thing, and I mean it. I don't want to be in love with anyone the way I'm in love with you."
"Evan..."
"And if you don't want me, fine, but just say that instead of giving me some bullshit about not wanting your heart broken. Because I can't break your heart, Tommy. Maybe it's been seven months, but I'm still in love with you, and I don't see that changing any time soon." Evan looks down for a moment. "So...I know I'm a lot. I know I said some dumb shit. And I know there's a lot I still don't know. But I do know I want you to come home with me, and you don't have to stay, but...I want to try again. Now that I know a little more."
Tommy's eyes are bright when Buck looks up. "I can't."
"What?"
"Evan, I can't come with you tonight. Or any night."
Buck's stomach sinks. "Is there someone else?"
"No," Tommy says. "No, just...I got a new job. In Seattle...they offered me a command. A chance to be captain...don't get much more brave and trailblazing than that, do you, being an openly gay fire captain." He swallows hard. "I'm leaving on Monday."
Buck stares. The world seems to be tilting, even though he hasn't had that much to drink. "Oh."
"I thought you would have heard," Tommy says. "It's been kind of big news around the department."
"Everyone's been extra delicate with me," Buck says. "They don't talk about you where they think I can hear." He forces a smile. "Congratulations...you deserve it."
"Yeah?" Tommy says.
"Yeah. I'm happy for you." Buck waves to the bartender. "Put his drinks on my tab."
"Evan..."
"Least I can do. Since...since it's really over."
Tommy nods, but he looks sad. "Yeah," he says. "I guess I can just...start again. And I guess you can, too."
"Yeah," Buck says. "I guess I can."
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It's a stupid idea, but Buck's full of those. He knows that it'll probably end in disaster, that he'll end up crawling back with his tail between his legs again.
But he has to try.
The airport looks just the same as it had when he dropped Abby off all those years ago. The same was it had been when he'd watched her walk out of his life, only to be seen again when it was unavoidable.
He's not doing that now.
Tommy is easy to spot, in spite of the crowd, standing in the check-in line. Buck thinks it must be kismet, that he's on time. There had been several flights to Seattle today, and he just took his best shot.
"Tommy!"
Tommy turns, and his brow furrows when he sees Buck. "Evan?"
Buck pushes his way through the crown, suitcase heavy in his hand, until he reaches Tommy's side. Tommy looks him over, then down at the bag. "Evan, what..."
"I know you said it's over," Buck says. "And that you don't want to try this again. And if you tell me to leave right now, I will. But I couldn't take the chance that I'd never see you again, even if you don't want to be in my life. And don't worry about work, Bobby transferred me to a different station than the one you're commanding, and I have a place to stay until I can find an apartment, and I'll get a new car since I gave the Jeep back to Maddie, but..."
"Evan," Tommy interrupts. "Did you just upend your life to follow me to Seattle?"
"Yes," Evan says. "If you'll let me."
Tommy stares for a minute before he pulls Buck into a kiss. And this time, Buck really knows it will be forever.
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honorhearted · 1 day ago
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"I don't think there is a single thing in the world you could do to disappoint me, Benjamin Tallmadge."
He snorted. "Well, I certainly hope you'll remember this moment when you are, in fact, disappointed in me in the future. I'm quite the over-achiever, after all."
Penelope spoke of a son following in his footsteps, and despite the leap in his chest at such a thought, it was soon soured as Benjamin drifted to thinking of war, of destruction and pain and death, and his shoulders curled inward. "I should hope not," he murmured. "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not share my stories with our children... I fought so they could be free, so they could be happy, and I don't wish for them to know any of the pain I've endured. Not even a moment."
Penelope, thankfully, seemed quite content to continue teasing him, so Benjamin latched on to the much lighter fare of conversation. With a snort, he asked, "How can I not compliment you? That seems like a double-edged sword, and I'm not about to risk displeasing my betrothed. Unless, of course, it leads to more untoward requests."
Penelope giggled, leaning into his touch with a gentle incline of her neck. "If leaving you now is so difficult, I can't imagine how hard it will be once we are properly wed."
"We'll never leave the house," Benjamin agreed, chuckling. "And if anyone trespasses during our honeymoon, I'll be certain to greet them with a musket. I think I've earned the right to be possessive of my wife. If they wish to hold an audience with you, they can wait in line." Grazing his lips along her shoulder, he muttered, "Unfortunately for them, I am the only one granted permission to enter that coveted queue."
Penelope hummed. "Do you really think anyone would even notice if I just stayed here forever? Surely, Mama is far too enraptured in planning the wedding to notice and its not as though anyone would miss me otherwise."
Benjamin fought back a groan. "Don't go giving me any ideas... I'm serious, Pen, I'm at the point where I'd rather just kidnap you for a week, and then claim a loss of sanity." He shrugged. "We're already engaged, but that at least would ensure that you have to marry me."
Penelope followed his glance toward the clock. "I suppose I cannot delay for much longer, so this is where we must part. The weeks ahead are sure to be long and arduous."
Benjamin grimaced. "You don't know the half of it...I'm afraid men are the far weaker of the two sexes, so I'll be in the direst of straits."
Turning to face him, Penelope smoothed her palms along his chest with a pout. "Promise you won't forget about me in the time we're apart?"
"Impossible," he vowed. "I'll be thinking of you each and every waking moment, slowly being driven to madness." Dropping a kiss onto her forehead, he lowly added, "I hope it isn't too much to hope for the same?"
--
Within a week's time, Benjamin found himself in Penelope's presence again. Her mother was distracted with God only knew what -- it seemed that marriages of the ton were quite the affair -- and despite his good cheer, he kept pacing around the room.
"I'm so bloody nervous," he confessed. "If my assumptions are correct, Father will be arriving sometime today, and I just... I'm unsure of what to expect." He halted in his restless trek, turned, and then glanced toward Penelope with a low breath. "I never told you this, but I essentially ran away from home... Not because of anything I did, but rather, because I couldn't face the pain of losing my brother. So I did the cowardly thing, and I left my father all alone."
Shoulders hunkering, Benjamin looked down at his boots in shame. "I've written to Father, of course -- I'm not that cold-blooded -- but I imagine he must still be hurt. And I want him to love you so very much, but...what if I've already ruined everything before it's even had a chance to begin?"
If I'd known from the start how we would've ended up, I'm not so certain I would have ever been a gentleman.
"I find that hard to believe. Even in the throes of passion, you're a perfect gentleman." Pen quirked her lips into a sweet smile, a renewed flush creeping onto her cheeks. She knew she was lucky to have found someone like Ben, and that such a someone loved her as intensely as she loved them. Pen had nearly accepted the fact that her life would most likely be devoid of love. She might learn to love a husband, if she had been fortunate enough to find a man willing to marry her, but she had never expected to find a love match. And yet she had been proved wrong time and time again.
"Yes, actually." She teased, arching her brows in defiance. "I would like you to reenact the story of the handsome, charming foreign soldier who seduces the insipid wallflower with his smile and devilishly sharp wit. Are you familiar with that one?" Perching her hands on her hips, she tried to maintain a neutral expression but she found it hard when her body was still thrumming with electricity. "I don't think there is a single thing in the world you could do to disappoint me, Benjamin Tallmadge."
You know I love it when you give commands. Pen bit at the inside of her cheek to suppress a grin. She'd been told on multiple ocassions that she had a tendency to be too bossy. She liked to be in charge of things, especially when so much of her life seemed to be entirely out of her control. Whistledown had afforded her the luxury of controlling the narrative of scandals in the ton, but there were often times her pride spilled over.
"Is that so? I do enjoy giving commands every once in a while. I think it runs in the family. Perhaps, one day, a son of ours will follow in their father's footsteps. Though, I wouldn't mind if they decided to become little poets and authors instead."
Although she knew she would support her children in whatever endeavors they found themselves thrown into, Pen wasn't entirely eager to imagine her sons off to war. Even so, she refused to dwell on such a thing. Those were matters for the future, problems to be dealt with when they arose. For now, Pen was satisfied with living in the moment and planning for the near future instead.
"You must not give me so many compliments this soon. I'll hardly have any motivation to do better if you spoil me too much. Lucky for you, I'm a dutiful student."
Pen let out a soft giggle, reaching up to rest her hands on his arms. The idea of going a single day without him was tortuous, even though she knew it would be worth the wait. If they were to behave properly, it could be weeks until she felt his arms around her again. She was sure she would go insane in that much time, but at least she would be able to relish in the memory of him until then. The idea of a special marriage license was terribly tempting, but Pen knew that it would be near impossible to get. A lady of the ton marrying a foreigner was not likely to earn a favorable compliance by Her Majesty. Instead, she resigned herself to her fate. If nothing else, it would prove to be a good practice of patience.
"If leaving you now is so difficult, I can't imagine how hard it will be once we are properly wed." She sighed, nuzzling into his touch. Although Pen was determined to not be an overly needy or nagging wife, she had a feeling she would be following him around like a puppy for most of the honeymoon--and long after, as well. She had spent her entire life searching for a place to belong and now that she'd finally found it in Ben's arms, she wasn't in a rush to part with the feeling.
"Do you really think anyone would even notice if I just stayed here forever? Surely, Mama is far too enraptured in planning the wedding to notice and its not as though anyone would miss me otherwise." Even as she teased, Pen knew there was some truth behind her words. Her mother was enjoying the party planning aspect of the wedding and Pen didn't mind handing over the reigns since such a thing was far too overwhelming to handle. All she wanted was to hide away from the world and be with her fiancé.
"I suppose I cannot delay for much longer, so this is where we must part. The weeks ahead are sure to be long and arduous." Turning around to face him, Pen whined, lips puffed out into a pout. "Promise you won't forget about me in the time we're apart?"
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loveesiren · 16 hours ago
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Doing It All For Us (Pt. 13)
Masterlist
Rafe Cameron x Reader
Summary: Y/n has a little scare but it's not as bad as what's to come...
Warnings: Fluff, braxton hicks
Word Count: 4.3k+
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Rafe blinked awake, his vision blurred as his face was pressed deep into the pillow. He reached for his phone, low growl spilling from his throat as he tried to wake up. He rubbed his eyes and unlocked his screen. The clock read 12:15. "Shit..." He muttered.
"Good afternoon, sleepy head!" You cood from the bathroom door.
Rafe rolled on his side and took in the sight of you. "Beautiful girl..." He hummed. You looked flawless in a flowing white sundress, strappy wedges, and a tan sun hat sitting atop your head. You had neutral colors for your make up today which made your Y/E/C eyes pop. "How are you this perfect?"
You smirked at his compliment. "Get up, baby. Topper and Kelce want to meet at the club."
Rafe gathered his thoughts, still lost in the beauty that stood before him. Shit, he had to meet Courtney to pick out a ring. He got up and pulled on his jeans. "You go ahead, sweetheart. I have to help my dad with something."
"Are you sure?" You asked, putting your earrings in. "I can come with if you want."
"No, sweet girl," He said, kissing your temple. "Go. Eat. Have fun. I'll meet you back here later, yeah? Then we'll put on a movie and I'll rub your feet until you fall asleep."
You smiled up at him. "That sounds perfect."
He places a soft, tender kiss to your lips before crouching down to kiss your belly. "Later kid, be good for your momma!"
You chuckled as you watched Rafe leave the room, continuously glancing back to get one last look at you. You took one last look in the mirror before gathering your purse and making your way down stairs. You set the alarm and locked the door before heading to your Benz Truck. Your car. The car you've barely touched since you moved here. You've had the luxury of being chauffeured around by your fiance and friends all year.
You climbed in and noticed you'd need to adjust your seat as your baby bump pressed against the steering wheel. "Been a while," You laughed to yourself. You adjusted the seat to your comfort and checked all your mirrors. You felt really...independent. And you weren't sure if you liked it. You missed Rafe. You wondered what he and his dad were up to today. But, to be honest, you needed a break from everything going on and lunch with your friends sounded great. You started the car and took off.
-
Rafe stepped off the ferry and scanned the crowd, spotting Courtney pretty quickly. "Hey Court," He greeted.
"So you really proposed to my best friend on a whim? No plan, no ring? You're supposed to let me help you plan!" She scolded.
Rafe chuckled. "I'm sorry. I couldn't wait."
"So where'd you do it?" Courtney asked as they began walking towards the town.
"In my room at the Bahama house. She puked the whole plane ride there, poor thing. She was so tired when we got there we just went straight to my room." He said, purposely leaving out the part about the gold. He'd save that for another time. "She just looked so beautiful in the late sun, I couldn't wait."
"That girl could turn into an ogre and you'd still call her beautiful," Courtney laughed.
"Nothing could take away her beauty." Rafe said softly, picturing your face in his mind. God he missed you. It hadn't even been two hours.
Courtney grabbed Rafe's hand and dragged him towards the jewelry store. "Come on, lover boy. She deserves a proper proposal and a fat diamond!"
Rafe owned nice jewelry. Gold chains, nice watches, his signature signet ring. But he had never, ever bought jewelry for a girl until you walked into his life. The diamond R necklace he had gifted you was something he stumbled upon on a TikTok. Now obviously, that jewelry was cheap and he'd never let a $5 zinc necklace touch your perfect skin. So he had a necklace custom made for you. But this was different. This was huge. This was a symbol of the love he had for you. Something you'd wear proudly for the rest of your life making it known you were taken. Owned. A Cameron.
He was overwhelmed with all the gleaming rocks reflecting in the glass cases. He didn't know where to begin. He followed Courtney, looking where she looked, trying to take mental notes of things she pointed out on each ring.
"And who are we shopping for today?" The store clerk asked. "Ah, aren't you Ward Cameron's son? Rafe?"
"Uh, yes ma'am." Rafe replied, caught off guard.
"We're looking for the perfect engagement ring for my best friend!" Courtney squealed. "Uh, his girlfriend." Courtney gestured to Rafe.
"Fiance," Rafe corrected.
"Oh yeah, he proposed without a ring. Can you believe that?! Now I have to help him find the perfect one!"
"Well, congratulations! I'd love to help you find the right one. My name is Renee." The clerk said kindly. "Tell me about your fiance!"
"Oh no, here we go..." Courtney said under her breath but still smiling as she looked up at Rafe.
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Rafe eyes were bright and he beamed with excitement. "She's immaculate. She's beautiful, like a goddess, especially when the sun hits her eyes, they shine like diamonds. Her voice is like honey, soft and sweet. I could listen to her talk all day. And her smile..wow..out of this world. She brightens up the whole room, no, the whole event! You can feel her presence when she's near. She's strong, like a lion. Vicious when she needs to be. Bat shit crazy and insanely fun. I've never been bored around her. She's resilient. She's like hypnotic when she moves her body and -"
"Okay, big guy!" Courtney says, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm gonna stop you right there."
Renee chuckles. "Absolutely smitten with her, I see."
"She's my everything." Rafe smiles softly.
"Follow me," Renee says, gesturing them over towards a case in the back of the store. "Now, I don't usually show these to our younger customers, this is our priciest collection, but it is also our nicest, and guaranteed to last a lifetime. Longer than a lifetime. If she is buried in this ring, it will still be perfect centuries from now."
Rafe winced at the thought of you buried in the dirt. He didn't like that image. But he knew he'd be right beside you if you were.
"But seeing as you are a Cameron, and absolutely over the moon for this woman, I thought I'd let you take a peek."
Rafe stared down at the absolute stunning 20-karat emerald cut diamond ring that sat before him. It was perfect. It was perfect like you.
"Now, I also have some lovely options over here, a bit smaller, but bold with personality-"
"I'll take it." Rafe said, cutting Renee off and stopping Courtney in her tracks.
"Son, this ring goes for one million dollars," Renee chuckles.
"Rafe, I know you're rich but shit dude you don't have to drop a milli on this ring. She'll be happy if you gave her a piece of string, dude." Courtney said.
Rafe smiled, thinking about all the money he now had. "This is the one. I'll take it."
-
"So Rafe really proposed? No ring or anything? And you said yes?" Topper asks once again.
You laugh as you swallow the last bite of your salmon. "Sure did! I don't need a ring. I just need him."
"He still has to get a ring though, I mean come on!" Kelce added.
"You know what's funny? Before I moved here, before I met Rafe, I was so materialistic. I suppose I still am with some things. But all the guys I dated in high school always got me expensive jewelry and bags and all that shit. I loved it. It made me feel loved and powerful. Like I was better than everyone else. But now? Now, I don't know. Rafe makes me feel loved in different ways...better ways. If we lost all our money tomorrow and had to live on the cut, I'd be okay with it. As long as I was with him."
Kelce and Topper smile. It took everything in them not to tell you Rafe was out looking for a ring right now.
"Well boys, this has been lovely. But a bitch is tired and I need a nap." You say with a smile as you begin to gather your things and stand up. The boys stand up with you, ready to walk you to your car.
You gasped loudly, falling back into your seat and clutching your stomach. "Fuck!" You screamed.
"Y/n? What's wrong?!" Kelce asked, both boys quickly by your side.
You took a few breaths. "I - ah! I don't know!" You had a sharp pain in your abdomen that you hadn't experienced before. "I-I think something's wrong - ow, fuck! - with the baby!"
"Okay, let's get you to the hospital now." Topper said, scooping you up in his arms and rushing towards the exit. Kelce grabbed your things and followed suit. Topper got you in the car, sliding in beside as Kelce drove as quickly as possible.
You were trying your best to breathe but you were terrified. You weren't even in your third trimester yet. You couldn't be in labor could you? "Call...Rafe..." You said between breaths.
"On it," Topper said as he took out his phone to call Rafe.
-
Rafe pulled out his phone, signing the last signature on the paperwork for your ring. "It's Top," he says to Courtney.
"He better not of squealed." She sighed as she took the bag from Renee's hand, thanking her for all her help.
"What's up, Top?" Rafe said as he answered the phone.
"Dude! Something is wrong with Y/n and the baby!"
"What?! What do you mean?!" Rafe stood up quickly and ran out of the store.
Courtney grabbed the ring and stored it safely in her backpack before running out after him.
"I don't know dude! Everything was fine and then she just like toppled over in pain. We're on our way to the hospital right now."
"Rafe, hurry!" He heard your pained voice cry out in the background.
"I-I'm on my way! I'll be there soon, baby, I promise!" Rafe said before the call disconnected.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Rafe said, pacing back and forth.
"What's going on?!" Courtney asked.
"Y/n's in pain. Something with the baby. Fuck I need to get there now but the ferry is two fucking hours, I-"
"Dude! I took my dad's helicopter here! It's just a mile up the road, come on!" Courtney said.
Rafe breathed a slight sigh of relief before they both took off running.
"Renaldo!" Courtney called as she approached the helipad.
"Ms. Fields, are-"
"We have to go now! It's an emergency!" Courtney yelled.
"Okay, okay! Let's go!" Renaldo responded. "We'll be there in about 15 to 20 minutes, Ms. Fields."
Rafe's leg was shaking with anxiety as they flew over the water. Extremely grateful in this moment that he was friends with Courtney. Her dad was one of a handful of people on the island that owned a personal helicopter to use at their disposal. 15 minutes. He reminded himself, but it still felt like hours.
"We can land pretty close to the hospital. We'll be there soon!" Courtney reassured him.
Rafe chewed on his finger, a million thoughts going through his head. Was the baby okay? Were you okay? He felt guilty for not being by your side. The one time he leaves the island something horrible had to happen.
The second the helicopter touched the ground, Rafe hopped out and started running. Courtney thanked her pilot and took off after him. They made it to the hospital in record time and Rafe burst through the front doors, almost breaking them off their hinges.
"Y/n Y/l/n! My fiance! Wh-where is she?!" He asked the nurse at the front desk, causing a scene in the waiting room.
"Let's see here..." The nurse said as she grabbed her clipboard and looked over names.
"Now!" Rafe demanded.
"Sir, do not give me attitude. I'm trying -" She was quickly cut off by Topper's voice.
"Rafe! She's in here!"
Rafe discarded the nurse and ran to your room. There you sat, once again in a hospital bed for a horrifying reason. He never wanted to see you in a hospital again unless it was for the birth of your baby. But you were sitting up, smiling and talking to the nurse.
Rafe walked in slowly, chest heaving and sweat soaking through his shirt from the anxiety and running. "Baby...What's going on? Are you okay?" He asked, coming to your side and taking your hand.
You smiled at him. "I'm okay, baby. I promise. So is Wolfie."
Rafe was confused. He had prepared himself for the worst but nothing seemed to be wrong. Still, he checked over you for anything out of place which made you giggle.
"Braxton hicks," The nurse chimed in.
"Brax...what?" Rafe asked, as he leveled his breathing.
"Braxton hicks. They are essentially false contractions. Definitely scary if you aren't sure what they are, but they are harmless. All is okay. We gave her some medicine for the pain. I just have to finish up a bit of paperwork and she should be set to go home." The nurse smiled and excused herself from the room.
Rafe breathed a sigh of relief and pressed his forehead to yours, placing one hand on your swollen belly. "So you're okay? You're both okay?"
You laid your hand on top of Rafe's. "We're okay, baby. I promise. Just tired. I'm about ready for that foot rub." You teased which pulled a smile out of Rafe.
"Topper and Kelce went to get your car."
"Where's your truck?" You ask, wondering how he got here.
"Uh...it's at the dock."
You furrowed your brows. "The dock? Were you on the mainland?"
"I'll tell you later, baby. I promise. For now, let's get you home and keep you off your feet for a few days."
You wondered what exactly was going on, but everything had been so crazy lately and quite frankly, you were exhausted. All that mattered was that Rafe was here now.
-
Rafe drove your car home while you relaxed in the passenger seat, trailing your fingers over the sensitive skin of your stomach. Wolf was kicking ever so lightly, also tired from his big day.
Rafe hopped out of the car and quickly came to your side, as he always did. He helped you out of the car, grabbing all your things and walking you to the door.
"Are you hungry, sweet girl?" He asked as you entered the house.
"A little." You admitted. "Can we just order in and watch a movie?"
"Of course, baby. You go on upstairs, I'll be up in a minute, okay?"
"Okay," You agreed with a smile and headed up to your room. You worked on getting out of your clothes and taking off your make up before settling into bed and scrolling Netflix.
Rafe took out his phone to order food and call his dad.
W: Hello?
R: Dad, hey.
W: Hey, son. How's Y/n?
R: She's okay. The baby is okay.
W: Good. That's good.
R: Uh, hey dad? The gold is secured right?
W: Yes, son, it is. Why?
R: Ahah..Uhhh I kind of got Y/n a ring today.
W: That's great!
R: Yeah, I'm excited to give it to her, but uh...
W: But what, Rafe?
R: It was kind of....a million dollars.
W: Jesus Christ, Rafe, what the fuck!"
R: Hey a milli isn't that bad now that we have the gold right?!
W: *sigh* Atleast you're marrying rich.
R: I'm not marrying her for money, dad.
W: I know, son. I know. Just, uhh...Yeah. The gold is secured. Just go take care of your fiance and my grandson, okay?
R: On it, dad. I love you.
Rafe hung up the phone and smiled. He walked upstairs to find you in the bathroom, rubbing lotion on your swollen belly while your silky pink pajamas clung loosely to your skin. You were humming softly as you cradled your belly. He leaned his head against the doorframe of the bathroom and smiled as he soaked in your beauty.
"Hey, mamas," He said softly.
You turned to look at him and smiled. He'd never seen such glowing beauty before. Your face was bare, your hair pulled back, there you stood, swollen with his child. It was the most beautiful sight he'd ever laid eyes on. Like a thousand summer sunsets. This was all his. His family. He did everything for you.
"Hi, Rafey," You beamed. You smiled as Rafe stepped behind you and placed his hands on your belly, admiring how much you've grown. "It's funny to think how just a year ago I was the new girl on the island. And now we're about to be a family."
Rafe buried his face in your neck, inhaling your soft scent. "You're a dream come true." He whispered. He slowly removed one hand from your belly and reached into his back pocket. "Do you remember how I asked you to marry me in The Bahamas?"
"How could I forget being proposed to?" You giggled.
"Yeah, well, that's not how I planned to do it."
"Has anything we've ever done gone according to plan?" You chuckled.
"Nope. And I really haven't planned out the rest of our lives yet either."
"Planning isn't for everyone." You reassured him.
Rafe hesitated. He could give you the ring right now. He knew you'd be happy either way. But he paused and thought for a moment. "Are you free this Saturday, my love?"
"Hmmm, I'll have to check my schedule." You teased.
Rafe laughed and picked you up, carrying you to bed. He had ordered some Chinese food but by the time it got there, you were already out. He took out his phone and texted Courtney, Topper, and Kelce.
This Saturday, at the club. Plan a party. I'm going to really propose to her. On the beach. Please help me set it up.
Rafe waited a few minutes before he heard his phone buzz.
We got you.
-
Rafe had been so weird this week. But not in a bad way. Just very excited about Saturday and you couldn't figure out why.
Rafe was out and Courtney had come over, insisting on helping you get ready. They weren't very good at hiding things. Rafe obviously had a surprise date planned but you played along.
"I think this is the one!" Courtney squealed as she pulled out a deep navy blue, silk dress from your closet. It was a maxi dress that would definitely be blowing in the breeze. A low cut front and long lacey sleeves.
"I'm not sure Wolfie will fit in that." You teased.
"Oh sure he will! Come on!"
You let Courtney work her magic of getting you into the dress and doing your make up. This must be some date Rafe had planned. However, you were happy and excited to see what he had in store for you.
Courtney put the finishing touches on your outfit, including a small tiara that she laced through your hair. "Is all this really necessary?" You asked.
"Yes! You look beautiful!" She said. Her phone chimed and she quickly rushed to check it. "Your ride is here!"
She handed you your bag to match your dress and walked you downstairs. You continued to act oblivious, knowing that one of the guys were here to pick you up and take you to your special date. Once you stepped outside, you did your routine of locking the door and setting the alarm. Courtney walked you to the end of your driveway and you faltered when you took in the site before you.
A horse-drawn carriage sat in the street in front of your house and your fiance stepped out to greet you. "Care for a ride down the beach?" Rafe asked.
You were in awe at the gesture. His slicked back hair and dark navy suit had your knees weak. Courtney handed you off to Rafe and kissed your cheek. "I'll see you later! You two kids have fun!" She said before running off.
Rafe helped you into the carriage and you sat, speechless.
"Rafe..." You began. "Rafe what are we doing?"
Rafe wrapped an arm around you. "Oh, you know, just going on a casual date." He teased.
You didn't question it. You snuggled up to Rafe as the horses made their way to the beach. You listened to the waves crash against the shore and enjoyed the twinkling stars in the sky as you laid on Rafe's lap, enjoying the feeling of his palm against your belly.
Eventually, the horses stopped and you sat up. "Will you join me on the beach for a second?" Rafe asked. You agreed and let him help you out of the carriage. He held you close as you walked down the sand, standing slightly in the water as the waves washed over your feet.
"This is beautiful, Rafe." You told him. "Thank you."
"The night's far from over, my darling." He told you.
You turned to look at him, the moonlight illuminating his features perfectly and you could swear you were melting on the spot at the sight of him, ready for the ocean to take you away.
"I asked you to be my wife on a whim. I truly meant it. I did. But it wasn't what I planned." Rafe began.
You smiled but remained quiet.
"Before I met you, Y/n, I was falling apart. I-I didn't care about anything anymore. Then you came into my life and turned my world upside down. I've never met someone so...insane." He chuckled. "In a good way."
You frowned for a moment, looking back on all the pain you've caused.
"You're the only person I've ever felt true love for. You and our son," He said, placing his hand on your belly once again. "I want to give you the world and so much more."
You smiled up at him, enjoying the breeze in your hair and appreciating the way it messed up his. Rafe reached into his back pocket and slowly got down on one knee.
"I know I already asked..." He began. You took a step back. "But I wanted to do it right. You are God herself, Y/n. I can't live without you. I need you like I need air to breathe. I'm so grateful you chose me and I just want you to know...I'll always choose you. Will you marry me?"
He opened a small black box, revealing a huge diamond. You fought for air for a moment as you took in the sight of it. How did that thing even fit in that tiny box?
"R-Rafe..." You were at a loss for words. "Rafe...what?!"
"Please? Please marry me. I've never been so sure of anything in my life."
You stood speechless for yet another second. "Rafe, yes! Of course I'll marry you!"
The shine of his smile could be seen from outer space. He took your left hand and placed the rock on your finger. You'd never seen such a beautiful piece of jewelry.
"Rafe, you didn't have to-"
"Shut up," He said, standing up and pressing his lips firmly against yours. You kissed him back deeply. You had never been so happy in your life. You could even feel little Wolfie kicking.
You were over the moon about the little family you were creating. Nothing could take this from you.
"Come on, I have one more surprise." Rafe said, leading you back to the carriage and helping you inside. You weren't sure how this night could get more perfect.
You were all over Rafe as the horses took you to your next destination. When you pulled up to the club, you assumed you were about to sit down for a nice dinner. But as you stepped out of the carriage, the sound of cheering patrons led you to believe it was something much bigger.
Rafe helped you out of the carriage and held your left hand up. "She said yes!" He screamed and the whole crowd cheered.
Before you knew it, Courtney was running to you, wrapping you up in a bear hug. "You're getting married, bitch!" She squealed. She was in an entirely new outfit than she was from helping you get ready. You knew she had helped plan this. So did Kelce and Topper by the way they weren't surprised in the slightest, greeting you with warm hugs and praise.
You all walked into the club with smiles on your faces. You clung to Rafe's arm happily knowing that all the people here were supporting the two of you.
"Let me see the ring!" A swarm of women come up to you. You happily showed off the giant rock on your finger.
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"Congratulations, you two." Ward said as him and Rose approached you. Rose gave you a hug, Wheezie soon following her as Ward patted Rafe on the back. "Y/n, there's someone here to see you." Ward said, motioning in the direction behind you.
You turned around and your jaw dropped. "D-Dad?"
"Hey, Sunflower," Your dad said softly.
You couldn't help the tears running down your face as you embraced your father in a hug. You hadn't seen him in months and here he was, standing in front of you.
"I can't believe you're here!" You said happily.
"Let's sit, for a second." Your dad said, helping you to an empty table nearby while other guests mingled amongst themselves. You sat back and relaxed, taking a deep breath as you rested your hands on your belly. You realized you hadn't had a moment to breathe in a while. "Look at you," Your dad started.
"Look at me!" You joked.
"A lot happened while I was away."
"Yeah," You sighed. "How do you feel?"
"About you and Rafe? About...this?" He asked, gesturing to your swollen belly. "It's every father's dream and nightmare." He chuckled. "But seeing you this happy...clean and happy. It's great. I see you've been taken care of and that's all I could ever want."
"Thanks, dad." You smiled. "So how was-"
"Rafe Cameron!" You were quickly cut off by Shoupe's voice as he entered the club with two other cops. "You're under arrest for the murder of Sheriff Peterkin!"
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lucy90712 · 1 day ago
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Can you please make a hector fort fic where he spends all his time with his friends and spends barely time with her. Then they were supposed to go on a date together and she waits for him to pick her up, she waits for 2 hours and goes to social media to see if he has posted anything and sees on his story a picture of him and her girl bestfriend having fun playing games. So she leaves the house with her stuff. When hector comes home he realises what he has done and tries to get back in contact with her but he fails. They don't see each other for a while but he notices her walking on a busy street and tries to talk to her. (ending with fluff please)
You: good morning amor hope training goes well don't forget about our plans tonight I'll be waiting for you 
Hector: have fun in class and don't worry I'll be there at 7 as promised 
You: love you 
That was the last I heard from Hector and now it's 8:32pm and he's still not here to pick me up. He promised he promised me he'd be here and that he'd make up for us not spending any time together. I should've seen it coming as he's been doing this for weeks he's promised time and time again that he will come over or we'll go on a date and then he never shows up. When I can finally get hold of him he always has an excuse either he was busy or with friends and lost track of time but whatever it is it hurts. I've done so much for Hector I've been there for him since we were kids and I've been there for every good and bad moment of his football career but he can't even manage to show up for one day or just to see me for an hour. 
We made the jump from being friends to being a couple just over a year ago and for the longest time he was the best boyfriend ever he treated me so well was super attentive and really made an effort to be romantic and take me on dates. I don't remember exactly when it changed I think it happened slowly over time but ever since he's started playing with the first team more he's been busier with training and matches which I understand but what I don't understand is spending every evening with his teammates who he sees all day when he could see me. It might sound selfish but I just miss my boyfriend he's already missed so much like he wasn't here when I was stressed over my big exams and he wasn't here when I got the results and he wasn't here when I needed him most when my mum went into hospital and I was scared and panicking. Just a few months ago he'd never dream of leaving my side during any of those times but now he barely knows they even happened. 
I text him once then twice then three times then I called multiple times but they all went unanswered. My last resort was to message him on Instagram as I know he won't have turned the notifications off for that but I didn't need to message him Instagram gave me my answer straight away. He had posted on his story showing him out with his friends and my best friend was with them too which was a whole other level of pain. My best friend knows all about my troubles with Hector yet she went out with him and his friends anyway and didn't even bother to tell me. That was the final straw I'm not dealing with this anymore I deserve better I deserve someone who will be there for me, not break promises and definitely not someone who makes me feel like this. 
My mind was racing but I quickly worked out what I wanted to do so I grabbed my keys and got in my car. Seeing as Hector wasn't in I decided now is the perfect time to go and get all the things I have at his place and leave the spare key I have that he gave me ages ago because I won't be needing it anymore. When I opened the door I immediately saw all the little things of mine there are that makes Hector's place feel just like my own some of my books are on his coffee table and my hair ties on the sideboard by the door. I spent some time grabbing all my things while trying not to cry that I was losing my boyfriend who I thought was the love of my life. Before I left I found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote Hector a note to tell him his I felt and why I was leaving and then put my key with it. Closing the door I felt like I was closing a chapter in my life a chapter I never wanted to close and one that's going to stay with me for a long time but it has to be done. 
Hector's POV
As soon as I opened the door to my apartment it felt weirdly empty like was something wrong but the door was locked and nothing looked like it has been stolen. Still I had a quick look around and then I noticed a piece of paper on the kitchen counter. Next to it was a key and that's when I realised what was wrong all of y/n's things were gone her books, her hair ties and all of the little things she leaves here were gone and this is her key that's now in my hand not with her like it should be. I knew the note would be from her but I didn't need to read it to know what was going on and what I'd done. I had promised to see her tonight as I've forgotten about the last few dates we've planned but I did it again my friends dragged me out after training and then I got carried away and forgot about the most important part of my day proving to y/n that I will do better. I really didn't want to read the note but I knew I had to I owe her that at the very least.
Dear Hector, 
I have left my key and taken my things because I'm done. I'm done because tonight we were supposed to go out you promised you'd pick me up at 7 and you promised you wouldn't forget like you have been for the last few months but you did. Instead of trying to prove to me that you love me and that the last few months have just been an anomaly you went out with your friends and my best friend leaving me waiting for you, calling and texting you until I saw your story. I can't do this anymore I love you but I can't let you treat me like this so I'm calling it here. I've really enjoyed the last year or so we've spent together but it's time for us to move on as clearly we aren't meant to be. 
I love you and probably will for the rest of my life but this is goodbye. 
Y/n xx
Those words hurt to read. I already knew I fucked up but to see the words written in front of me made it truly hit me how much I'd hurt her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me she was always there for everything no matter what she's been by my side through every up and down and I truly thought she'd be there for everything for the rest of our lives. I wanted her there for every achievement in my career and I wanted to be there for all of her achievements too. She was the one I didn't need anyone else I didn't want anyone else but now she's left me and I don't have my person anymore and I may never have her again. 
After the initial shock I tried to text her to see if I could apologise but she had already blocked me so I tried Instagram but she had blocked me on there too. I should've seen it coming but it upset me that I wouldn't be able to reach out to her and try and make things right or at least tell her how sorry I am for fucking this all up so badly. She's gone and it's all my fault that's what hurts the most if I hadn't been such an idiot then we'd still be together but no I had to go and ruin things with the best woman in the world. 
A few weeks later
Life has been hell for the last few weeks I've really missed y/n I've missed having her sat in the stands during matches and I've definitely missed seeing her. She's been in my life for the longest time not just as my girlfriend but as my friend so not having her in my life anymore and so suddenly as well has been really hard. I've definitely not been myself all of the guys keep asking if I'm ok and I tell them I am but we all know it's a lie they know how much I love y/n and they can see how it's destroyed me to lose her. I've tried time and time again to reach out to her but of course I'm still blocked I even text her best friend to get her to talk to y/n but she says she hasn't seen her or had any of her texts answered either so I have no way of telling her that I'm sorry. 
Everyone keeps telling me I need to try and move on and they're right it's just hard everything reminds me of y/n whenever I go anywhere I see places that we've been on dates to or just places we have memories at. Today I'm going to stop myself from moping about and go for a walk to clear my head as that's what I think I need to be able to move on or at least start to. I decided to go to the nearest park and walk around as it's relaxing and it should be quiet there which is what I need. 
The park was pretty empty there was a few people around; one couple with their baby an older couple feeding the birds and a girl who was sat on a bench with a book. The girl reminded me of y/n her hair was the same colour and reading in the park is something she loved to do. As I walked closer I realised that it actually was y/n she had headphones in and the book she'd been reading in her hands like she so often did when I went to see her. Seeing her made me stop in my tracks I didn't know whether to go and talk to her or just leave her be but then I realised this is my chance to talk to her and get closure at the very least. 
Your POV
Being without Hector has been hard I've missed feeling his touch and having him next to me when I sleep. So many times I've wanted to take it all back and run back to him but I know I can't or he'll think he can treat me like that again or someone else and I can't let that happen. Today is Wednesday which is the day that I had free from classes and usually I would spend all day with Hector so I've been sat at home all day thinking about him but I can't keep doing that so I needed to get outside. To give me something to do I walked to the park with my book. I found a bench with a nice view of the trees and the little pond with a few ducks and let myself forget about the real world. 
I was so in my own world that I didn't notice when someone sat next to me to start with until they sighed which brought me out of my trance. When I looked to my side I think I turned as white as a ghost because Hector was sat next to me with a look of pure sadness on his face. It took a few seconds for my brain to begin functioning again but when it did I leapt up and tried to run away. I'm not ready to face him again not when I've been trying so hard to forget about him and move on I blocked him and separated myself from him so I wouldn't have to do this. Before I could get more than a few steps away Hector placed a hand on my arm he didn't pull me back he didn't even hold my arm tightly but having his hand on me stopped me dead in my tracks. He encouraged me to sit back down so I did and I watched as his hand moved off my arm down to my hand which he held tightly in his grasp so I couldn't run again. 
"Hector" I started to say 
"No please let me talk" he interrupted 
"Ok but you have five minutes then I'm leaving" I said
"I'm sorry and I know move said that a lot recently but I really mean it when I got home and saw the note you left it broke me having all of your stuff gone from my apartment made it feel empty and not being able to see or talk to you has killed me I've missed you so much and I'll do anything to make it up to you" he said 
"How do I know that you actually mean it and that you'll actually change I told you how disappointed I was a million times and every time you told me you wouldn't forget the next time and then you always did it's like I wasn't important to you anymore how do I know that'll change" I said 
"I know I was an awful boyfriend but losing you has taught me a lot I know I can't treat you like that and I'd never dream of doing it again this might seem to much but you are truly the one for me I don't want to ever be with anyone else so please give me a another chance and I promise I'll do better and if I don't I'll let you go" he said 
"Ok but this is your last chance if you miss any date or anything without telling me and giving me a valid reason we're done" I said 
"I'll never miss a date ever again don't worry" he said 
"I can't lie I'm glad to have you back I've missed you so much it really hurt to walk away" I said
"And you'll never have to walk away again I'm here to stay" he said 
He pulled me into his side and leant down to kiss my lips which felt so good as I've missed having him by my side and I've definitely missed kissing him. He let me sit and finish the chapter I was reading before we left the park and went back to his place as he wanted to make things up to me straight away by having a movie date at home which he knows are my favourite. He's definitely off to a good start at making things up to me but honestly I'm just happy to have him back by my side. 
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lucrezianoin · 1 day ago
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All Bellara and Davrin Dalish banter transcribed
I wrote a summary of all of Davrin's Dalish info from banter that is hard to get in game, hopefully I did not miss any. The video of Bellara and Davrin banters is here.
This is the transcription:
Bellara: Do you ever go back and see your clan, Davrin? Davrin: Not since I left the forest. Bellara: So you don't see family or friends? Davrin: No. Been a long time. Bellara: Does that bother you? Davrin: I'm the one who left. That's on me. Bellara: You must miss them. Davrin: It comes and goes. Different part of my life.
Bellara: So you're a Warden now. But you're also Dalish, right? Or at least, you were? Davrin: I'll always be Dalish. That'll never change. The sight of an aravel still brings back memories. Bellara: Good ones? Davrin: Some. Racing them through the forest as fast as the wind would take us. Bellara: I loved doing that. Davrin: And breaking my arm when our aravel sailed off a ridge. Bellara: I loved that too. Good times.
Bellara: Do you ever regret leaving your clan, Davrin? Davrin: I don't regret the life I've lived, joining the Wardens. The things I've seen and done. Bellara: There's a "but" in there. Davrin: But… sometimes I wish I could've done both. Bellara: Not much room for that. Davrin: No, you're part of the clan, giving yourself over to it, or you're not. I made my choice.
Davrin: The thing about being Dalish - I needed to see the rest of the world to understand why the Dalish part of it was special. Bellara: In what way? Davrin: I didn't appreciate my life at the time. How could I? A clan sticks to itself and you stick to the clan. Davrin: Not much room for seeing what's outside it. Bellara: Right. I get that.
Bellara: When I was little. Very little, I mean. We'd pass through towns and villages. I always wondered: What's that like? To settle down. To stop moving all the time. Davrin: Right? Have a house to call your own. Shop at the market instead of foraging for food. Davrin: Make friends with outsiders. Bellara: But you got that chance. You did it. How was it? Davrin: It was… different.
Bellara: So how different was life outside your clan? Davrin: I started to see what I took for granted. I missed the food. Bellara: They didn't have any where you went? Davrin: Dalish food. You don't appreciate halla milk 'til you don't have any. Butter too. Nothing like it in Thedas. Bellara: What about the people? Davrin: I missed the sense of a common purpose. A clan acting as one. Everywhere else, people were in it for themselves. Davrin: It's a reason I joined the Grey Wardens. Guess I needed that purpose again. The shared fight.
Bellara: I can't even read some of these books. I wonder what they say? Davrin: Do we really want to know? Bellara: Sure, the world can always use more knowledge about - Davrin: No, I mean you and I. Do the Dalish need any more rocks in our history being turned over? Bellara: Feels like we're a little late on that one.
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27daisuki · 22 hours ago
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Hello again! I recently added subs to the dmmd stage plays (except Ren's! i do not take credit for that). Originally i only had 4 routes, but I received Mink's and ViTri's routes and just finished subbing! (thank you @minkiemoo for sending them to me!!)
They're all updated on the same Google drive that i posted before but I'll repost it here
I hope you all enjoy!! please let me know if I missed anything or if it's not working (I didn't finish subbing the post credit conversations but i wanted to get the rest of the play out there first)
translators notes and general thoughts below if u care
Woo!!!! I'm so happy i got to watch all the routes and I'm very happy to make it easier to consume for English speakers! the game blew up in 2014 on tumblr from a fan translation iirc? so I think it's only fair that I do my part now that I'm at a level of fluency where I can do that too! my goal since i was a kid to be able to watch/play things in jp without subs or translation, and i think i only recently realized i can do that now lol
it has been a very long time since I started learning jpn (i believe in total it has been 18 years on and off 💀 god) and i just wasn't confident in my skills but when i was watching Ren's route (it was the only one available overseas without vpn shit and had subs) and no shade to whoever had to sub Ren's route but i noticed some subs were just straight up wrong? (there's a part where aoba is looking at a screen at toue's speech and it was just all wrong) so i think that coupled with having friends that also like dmmd and wanted to watch the other routes inspired me to do my own damn subs lmao 😂
I'm absolutely not saying my subs are perfect, I'm sure there are spots that aren't 100% accurate (mostly because i can't 100% hear exactly what syllables they're saying sometimes because they talk so fast or just the audio quality or mumbling lol noiz I'm looking at you), but if i was unsure at any point I'd cross check the game lol if anyone notices any point where my subs are inaccurate, please let me know! i take no offense and honestly would love to be corrected so i can know for the future
also lastly, i did wanna touch on my strategy for subbing! jpn and English don't translate very well to each other all the time so there are some things that are said in jp that if i wrote literally in English would feel awkward or be hard to understand, so for some dialogue i tried to convey what they were saying with phrases that would make more sense to an English reader. So if you hear some sentences/words and you're like, wait that's not 100% exactly what they said, there's a good chance I know and i made the choice to translate it differently. it can be really hard to know when to leave something literally translated and when to localize it, or how far you should change the wording even if you keep the important information in a sentence, and which words i can leave out because of how fast they talk😭
jpn is also a very context heavy language, which means they leave out words in a sentence because it's implied that they're still in the sentence but you're supposed to fill them in. so there are many times where it sounds like in jp, they say 2 words, but it could really actually be like 6 because they're assuming you filled in the other 4 words. English you can only really get away with so much not said, and it can feel a bit weird when u read 6 words on the screen but hear the actors say 2 words lmao but just trust me on this, i promise I'm not adding words outta no where😂
i have one specific example from the plays. When Mizuki is holding a knife to Tae, he says 後悔すんなよ which literally means "don't regret this", but with the full context he's saying something close to "don't regret this because you chose to let your grandma die" which obviously is a lot more than what he said and I can't write all that on the screen for 2 seconds. The best equivalent to this (imo) was too write "You'll regret this", because even though it's not what he said in jp, it still gets the point across to english speakers and eng speakers can fill in the blank that he'll regret this because he didn't take Mizuki's threats seriously. It's less words and it's easier to digest in the few seconds that you have to read the sub
anyway i just want it to be known that i put a lot of care into these subs and thought very hard about how I translated each sentence, so i hope that you can trust my work!
Thank you again for all the kind words! I hope you enjoy the plays!!
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peach-top · 2 days ago
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❝𝙑𝙄𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉❞
➤ ACT O. | FINAL
➤ FAREWELL DARK CACAO KINGDOM
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“Ah? A letter from Dark Cacao Cookie?” the pure blonde questioned as the blue bird arrived with a letter.
The pure blonde gently grabs the letter and reads it. He perked up.
“....Who's…Dark Cacao Cookie…?”
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
“Your majesty, you have a letter from the Dark Cacao Kingdom.” Smoked Cheese Cookie announced while holding a letter.
“Oh? That's rich coming from someone who's always so grumpy!” Golden Cheese Cookie chuckled. “Read it for me!”
Smoked Cheese Cookie huffed then read the letter out loud. While through the letter, the general was interested, but also unsavory by the idea about the wanderer. Golden Cheese Cookie was interested upon hearing what's going on at the Dark Cacao Kingdom.
“Oh? A wanderer who ends the madness of those beasts that attacked the kingdom? Most of all, since when did that gloomy king become so soft?” Golden Cheese Cookie questioned. She then murmured, “...Hm…Should I trust him into my kingdom…?”
Smoked Cheese Cookie overheard her words, “A wanderer…there's something about him…”
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
“Oh-ho! A letter from my dear friend! I didn't know he missed me that much!” unnamed huntress laughed.
The unnamed huntress opened the letter. The female read through the letter from top to bottom and she couldn't help but burst out laughing upon reading it, “HAHAHAHAHA! It looks like Dark Cacao Cookie grew soft for this wanderer! I would like to see him for myself!”
“But unfortunately…I'm not in the kingdom at the time being…”
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
“Elder Faerie Cookie, it's a letter from the Dark Cacao Kingdom.” Silverbell Cookie called out to the guardian. “It was given to White Lily Cookie, but— Would you like to read it?”
“...?” Elder Faerie Cookie was going to hesitate but took the letter anyway. The elder faerie opened the letter and read them. His eyes widened with interest. The wanderer known as [Y] is someone that Millennial Tree has mentioned to him.
“Impossible…You mean…?” Elder Faerie Cookie gasped. Millennial Tree nodded, “I was surprised that it worked. I was able to give him the life stone to keep him alive.”
“But why? What if he remembers it all and destroy—”
“No worry, Elder Faerie Cookie. He won't be able to return back to the past. Besides…he’s the one who ended himself.” The spirit of the forest stated. The faerie’s eyes widened, “You mean to tell me that the lord ended himself? But why?!?”
“That's just a theory. I theorized that something inside him wished to end it all. He…was just a different cookie before being corrupted…” Millennial Tree frowned.
“...How did you know about that?” Elder Faerie raised his eyebrows. “Not many cookies knew how he was made nor knew if he was a different cookie. You weren't made when he was baked.”
Millennial Tree sighed, nervously fiddling his fingers, “...Will you believe me if I say that I've seen the one who created him was in my dream?”
“...!” Elder Faerie was taken back by this. He knows Millennial Tree wouldn't lie which is impossible not to believe him. “...Can't say that I don't…”
“The creator is someone I'm worrying about. They sometimes appear in my dreams, threatening me to hand him to them.” Millennial Tree furrowed his eyebrows. “But I will not allow that even if it risks my life. [Y] must live on with his new life as someone new. I cannot let him feel guilty of those sins he caused. He has the right to be happy and a second chance at life. Just trust me on this, Elder Faerie Cookie.”
“...If I were to meet this [Y], I'll see what he's capable of…” Elder Faerie sighed.
“This is him. The one who Millennial Tree Cookie was talking about…” Elder Faerie thought. He then turned to Silverbell Cookie, “Silverbell Cookie, here's someone I would like for you to trust once they arrive in the kingdom.”
“Huh?”
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
The next day, it's time for [Y] to leave. Most of the people really don't want him to leave because they admire him a lot. They give him gifts and souvenirs to show their gratitude.
“It's a shame to see you go, Sir [Y]...” One of the warriors frowned.
“Yeah. Without your help, we would've been done for…” another warrior said.
“I don't want to go either, but there's still more places to explore. I would like to know more about the outside world.” [Y] smiled. “Don't worry, I will return if you ever need my help. Just send me a letter. I have animal friends who can help you send the letters.”
“We won't forget your heroic act in saving the kingdom. We will honor you.” Caramel Arrow Cookie genuinely smiles at the taller male.
“Thanks, Caramel Arrow Cookie. I'm sure you're even more heroic than I am. It's a great choice to have you as the first watcher.”
“Remember, I've given you one of my specialties. The smell will follow wherever you go so you can think of me.” Affogato Cookie chuckled. The first watcher huffed, “Hope you're not poisoning him.”
“Why would I poison such a pure soul?” The priest glared at the female. “I'm only giving him something as a gift. I adore him after all.”
“Thank you, Affogato Cookie. I won't forget you or that ice cream coffee. It's one of the best ones I've ever tasted.” [Y] beamed.
“...!” Affogato Cookie blushed then looked away while fiddling with his staff, “A…ah. Don't worry, when you return, I'll make you more. I've left you a recipe in case you need it!”
“I'll be sure to remember.” The taller male nodded.
Crunchy Chip Cookie pushed Affogato Cookie aside, “Hey! We haven't finished our training yet! You promise that you'll teach me how to communicate with dragons!”
“Oh, right. We can continue when I return. Licorice Dragon would like to communicate with you while I'm gone. You'll be able to understand.” [Y] said then handed the short male a handmade whistle. “Since she's an ally, you just have to blow the whistle if you need anything. I entrust you to take care of her and her babies.”
Crunchy Chip Cookie saluted, “I vowed to protect the Licorice Dragons and the kingdom! If anything happens to them, I won't forgive anyone who harms them!”
“That the beast tamer for you.” [Y] chuckled, patting the male on the head, much to his please.
Dark Cacao cleared his throat to grab [Y]’s attention, “We thank you for protecting our kingdom, [Y]. We'll be looking forward to your next visit.”
“My pleasure. It was nice to be here. I was able to learn so much about this kingdom and meet new people. Thank you for having me here.” [Y] grinned.
Dark Cacao was a little taken back, but softly smiled, “I'm glad we were able to give you fond memories. You are free to enter the kingdom even if it's set. There's no need to wait for anyone to open the gate. They just open it for you.”
“I will remember. Thank you.”
“...” Dark Cacao Cookie wanted to give him one last gift, but he's not sure if he was prepared for it. However, he can't let [Y] leave with a gift from him. He remembers what he told himself:
ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.
“Well…bye. See you all again.” [Y] waved. The others excluding the ruler wave back to him as he is about to leave. Before he could leave, Dark Cacao grabbed him by the forearm and pulled him in a kiss, shocking everyone around him.
“M-my liege?!” the second watcher gawked.
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The raven haired ruler pulled away and left without a word, leaving everyone flabbergasted. [Y] was more confused than shocked. He has seen his animal friends with their nose nuzzles together, but people who are his kind do mouth-to-mouth. So…that was his first kiss.
“Is that a normal way to say goodbye?” [Y] asked innocently. The denizens look at the male with concern.
“Pure soul doesn't know what a “kiss” is…”
“Ah…No, [Y]. It's—” Caramel Arrow Cookie leaned over and whispered in the taller male’s ear.
“Oh. Then is it ok to kiss you guys, I like you guys a lot.” [Y] asked.
The denizens were flustered by the fact that the wanderer admitted that he likes them, but the kissing is out of the question.
“N-no need.. “ Caramel Arrow Cookie sweatdropped. “I don't know if I could explain any further. How's his majesty doing?”
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
Dark Cacao Cookie was burning up. Kissing the wanderer then walking away, he must've thought the ruler is weird. A knock on his door was heard, “Come in.”
“My liege.” Caramel Arrow Cookie peek into the room. Dark Cacao Cookie sighed, “Did he leave?”
“Yes, he did.”
“...He didn't look disgusted, did he?”
“Well…more like clueless. He seems to like it, but he was bewildered on how it works.” The first watcher scratches the back of her head with a nervous smile on her face.
The raven haired ruler was astounded, but he found it amusing, causing him to chuckle softly upon realizing how daring the wanderer can be.
“Hahahaha…I see. Good to know.” Dark Cacao Cookie smiled fondly.
“His majesty has acted differently since the wanderer arrived. Seeing him smile for the first time is like a blessing. I hope nothing takes away that smile.” Caramel Arrow Cookie chuckled quietly.
╭ ⁞ ❏. facts
┊ ⁞ ❏. there are so many things [y] still need to learn
┊ ⁞ ❏. dark choco cookie, here we come!
┊ ⁞ ❏. fire spirit once trying to get [y] to swear, but failed when wind archer find out
┊ ⁞ ❏. [y] may or may not have connection to the beast cookies
➤ chapter vi
➤ act i. | non-existent friend.
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bluepallilworld · 2 months ago
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Heyyyyy
So I started once again a school year
And summer was so full of things to draw I got a lil' tired at one point (so many events)
I thought about it for a while and I'll steer clear of the place for a lil' while. The time to get back into studying and stuff. Maybe for a month or so?
So (sorta) study hiatus I guess?
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I'll turn off the notifications but I'll come check once in a while so you can come chat still uwu
And one other thing, I won't have as much time as last year. So I won't be able to participate much to events and collabs etc (and it makes me sad). I'm very proud to be part of a circle of friends who are so kind to each other so sorry in advance, I probably will miss some birthdays too...
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moonchild-in-blue · 2 months ago
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I just want everyone to know that in the span of 3 days, I have made 3 loads of laundry, and have a 4th already sorted and ready to go (which includes towels / blankets / bedding). I still need to fold them and put them away BUT the important part is done 🥹
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guinevereslancelot · 2 months ago
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decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
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mel-loly · 11 months ago
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-“Oh, school has to be something serious, especially this year/something like that!”
The things I did when I was at school (especially in computer class):
TW: cigarette
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I have a lot of memories, and this is certainly one of the most important/best/funniest in my life. I'm really going to miss everything... and I'm already crying lol..
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mastersoftheair · 8 months ago
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Sorry but am I the only one that thought that episode…sucked? Like it was straight up bad. Horrible pacing, no wrap up of all the random characters and plot lines they’ve thrown around all season (the tuskegee airmen, Westgates spying, literally all the guys beside like the main 4). (Seriously it makes me so mad that the three redtails got all of 5 seconds of screen time, almost no lines. Literally what was the point of introducing them other than to pretend the show was iNcLuSiVe) Even at the end of BoB and the Pacific you get a much better idea of what happened to all the remaining guys. In this they’re like what happened to DeMarco or Hambone or Brady or (insert character here) we don’t know! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The concentration camp scene felt shoehorned in compared to how it was done in BoB. Unless that actually happened to Rosie (which i haven’t heard anything about) but it was just like.. ok? It all felt so rushed and emotionless to me. Maybe I’ve just fallen out of love with MoTA but it’s been downhill for me since episode 6 or so.
i already made a little (read: long) post-finale write-up here, where i talk about the use of the tuskegee airmen, l'sandra, and overall editing/pacing issues i felt the show had. but i don't agree with the notion that adding the redtails was in any way insincere or trying to halfass being "iNcLuSiVe", i just think they suffer from this show's obvious time constraints. and to summarize what i wrote in my linked post, there's a limit to what white writers/directors/producers can do when creating a story about black people. there are some stories i'd feel uncomfortable with them telling on their own, truth be told. dee rees wasn't the sole nonwhite director, but she Was the only black one. i think she did her job well given the limitations and i appreciate that they let her direct those episodes, rather than leaving it up to a team of white people trying their best to tell a black story.
the worst i can say about the finale is that it didn't feel like That strong of finale, tho i wouldn't go as far to say it "sucked" or call it "straight up bad". i liked it plenty, it's just the weakest of the hbo war finales imo.
as for the concentration camp scene, artistic license was taken with both shows. unlike what's seen in the BoB, easy company wasn't the first to arrive at kaufering, and there's 0 mention of the all-japanese american 552nd who helped them liberate it). similarly, rosie rosenthal did assist in liberating those camps, though it would've been after the events shown this episode. idk if he saw one in that up-close way seen in this episode, but he could've (i should research this when i have time). plus, it would've felt weird Not having him acknowledge them at all. "shoe-horned" is an odd term to use here imo, as both scenes more-or-less center a jewish character (BoB's liebgott and MotA's rosie). the former show has survivors the characters can help, the latter shows no one left to help. the former has all of easy company there, the latter has rosie there all alone. rosie's scene felt deeply personal in that way. at the end of the day, both scenes are communicating different things. that doesn't make one better than the other when they aren't trying to be identical. (disclaimer, i'm not jewish, so i'd be interesting hearing from the perspective of someone who wrt whether or not they felt it was "shoe-horned")
i can understand if you've disliked the show post-episode 6 (and episode 6 was a very strong episode i'm ngl). eps 7 and 8 were weaker in many ways, even to me, so i get it. everyone's entitled to their own opinion (i'd be a hypocrite saying otherwise). just understand that this blog is run by someone who overall enjoys this show despite its flaws! basically, i encourage you to take this energy and make your own posts.
#masters of the air#hbo war#e9#asks#long post#masters of the air spoilers#mota spoilers#all the hbo war finales are different. i don't think MotA's is as strong but like#my fav hbo war show is still BoB and even Then i don't think it has a better finale than TP. and i dislike a lot of TP! like A Lot!#and Even Then we don't get a good idea about what happens to a lot of the minor-er characters in TP once they leave#anyone who isn't sledge or leckie (rip basilone) is hand-waved-'they went home'-away#not every show needs a sandlot ending w/ a voiceover going:#'[NAME] got really into the [INSERT DECADE] and no one ever saw him again' like they did to webster (rip webster)#and again! i'm mixed about the redtails. but i can Very Clearly See this show getting released without including them#which wouldve left many people (justifiably!) upset that they weren't shown when they were Literally there in the same pow camp#i'll give the hbo war team a lot of shit about a lot of things (despite the enduringly positive energy i try to keep up here)#but i Have to give MotA props for Trying. i don't see faux inclusion i just see it as not quite hitting the mark but an attempt was made#and i think that's worth Something given neither BoB or TP bothered trying#(like i think there was a missed opportunity in TP not mentioning what's happening to japanese americans on the home front)#this got away from me (i'm also opinionated) but while i can agree with you about how the show feels rushed#i do take issue with the idea that they were pretending to be inclusive. i'll blame money time and covid19 before i blame bad intention#maybe that's controversial here but it Is my blog. so.
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neverendingford · 2 months ago
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#tag talk#reasons I skedaddled from the relationship a a week after joining:#I only liked one out of two. I would have totally been friends with the one I liked. just not the other one. and you can't pick just one#the annoying one called sex “the horny” and I wanted to nope the hell out of there#I tried to build emotional distance by talking about how I was leaving at the end of the year and got told "#got told 'I'll still care about you even after you're gone' which like...#I react so so poorly to people who care so much they overstep my emotional boundaries#that's like. lowkey a trigger for me. I showed off my scars and they reacted with sympathy.#sympathy over my sick-ass scars that I'm proud of. I was like 'aren't these cool?' and they reacted with sympathy. no thanks#once again.. I like men. it was an experiment but I'm done. I wanted to see what it was like and I got my taste#they go on the list of people I've had sex with only once. because I usually do not go back for a second time with people#there was a chance I could have gotten one of them to play aoe with me that's the only potential benefit I could have gotten from them#otherwise nothing I wanted. they weren't good hiking pals. not good skating buddies. lame taste in movies.#the annoying one talked about wanting to be a sugar mommy which I should have seen as another un-vibe data point#cause I don't vibe with overly generous caring people either#tbh I'd rather be hated than simped over. I can't stand cloying overbearing kindness#people like that so often act as if their kindness entitles them to you and I just.. ugh. emotional blockages in place#it switched me back to L and now I'm he him pronouns again#and lowkey I think when we move I'm gonna cut our hair. I miss it short. we made a really cute guy.#being called miss and ma'am is fine and all but damn I miss being a cute boy#anyway. my life continues to be tumultuous and it's my own damn fault. I regret nothing but I will learn from this experience
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buckymilf · 1 year ago
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