#I'll makes a flag and make the term but it's because sillies

[loserfurry]

Have come to the conclusion that I am a therian

[clown-prince-of-gay]

Happy Pride everyone~~

I drew me and my lovely boyfriend @king-of-vertigo, (I love you honeybee~), We are being gay and transing all your children. Watch out or you're next.

Anyways. Happy Pride to those who celebrate. (And especially happy pride slay queen girlypop month to those who don't) Under the cut I'll have each flag and an explanation of what it means to me~

Likes and reblogs appreciated!! Do not repost!

I would like to preface this with: I am not an expert in all of these identities (despite being a part of them) and my connection to them is hugely shaped by my own experience and interpretation of each label. My only hope with all this is to hopefully make someone feel less alone, (because my god i spent a long time finding some of these labels-)

Aceflux

Aceflux us defined as a person with a fluctuating feeing of sexual attraction to others, I sort of think of it like a dial being turned up and down based on the moment. (there are also romantic and aroace versions of the label I beleive, along with another variation of the flag with a purple/red gradient striping.)

In my own experience that results in differing kinds of days, some where I feel really strong attraction, others where I feel little to none. Sometimes it changes day to day, sometimes its the same for weeks, or it changes throughout the day based on context.

This label was one that took me. An entirely too long time to find. and this is one that feels. right. because I had very flexible and changing feelings and attraction, I knew I could place myself somewhere on the ace spectrum, but not exactly where because it wasn't consistent at all (wowee i wonder why that is because its not like thats the whole thing lmao) and I ended up cycling through so many aspec labels. This is one that I can feel comfortable in, and I'm hoping others resonate with it as well.

Queer

Queer is an umbrella term and very ambiguous identity that can essentially encompass anyone that identifies with it.

So- my sexuality is. incredibly nuanced and complicated when it comes to describing who I find myself romantically, aesthetically, or platonically attracted to (I know there are so many other ways to be attracted to someone, those are just the simplest for me to explain). For example: I can (when allowed by my silly demiromantic ass) be romantically attracted to men and masc (or even non aligned) presenting and identifying people, and I in fact, have a lovely boyfriend whom I love a lot! And as for femme aligned people its more interesting because I don't feel particularly romantically about them, but I can experience aesthetic, or platonic forms of attraction, and Queer is simply a label that I connect with that has the space to encompass all of that.

Demiromantic

Demiromantic is a label that essentially encompasses the idea that an individual doesn't feel romantic attraction to another unless they have an emotional or platonic bond with that person. (there is also an ace and an aroace version, which I think is super neat)

Demiromantic is a label that I personally connect with, be that because I'm naturally incredibly slow to make connections, or maybe connected to the fact that I'm very neurodivergent, (although thats a post for another day-) and feeling comfortable being and feeling romantic about someone is already incredibly rare, and I feel like I need a connection to someone personally until I can feel romantically (I say that like I control when I feel romantic. Its kinda. I dunno I can't control it. this label is just one I felt encompassed it. which is the point.)

Transgender

Transgender is an umbrella term in which someone doesnt connect or identify with the assigned gender given at birth. (I'm very sure I have made it no secret that I am transmasc. We love the transes here)

However. no matter how many labels I find to express and explain my gender being 'masculine' (with several different question marks. I'm a boy in the same way orange soda is the same as a regular orange. same sorta spirit. completely different executions.) above all. I am still trans. and I will always be trans. that's who I am <33

My gender is. an interesting topic. In the way that I have not yet found a label to describe it other than being transmasc. which I know as different to being a trans 'man' in the fact that I didnt transition to be a 'man', not binarily being a man. I bounce between being androgynous and being masculine, but in a way where labels like demigendered/demiboy or boyflux (other labels I've considered) don't seem to fit. because it is in a way where some days I feel more or less masculine to completely genderless. (If anyone can think of a label that fits that- I would love to hear it. I haven't even gotten into My pronoun search. maybe a seperate post on that later.)

[xoxoemynn]

I was tagged by @edsbacktattoo, @summerlinenss, @spirker, @piratecaptainscaptainpirates to share the favorite things I've written! I've loved seeing everyone's responses to this and have been adding to my ever-growing MFL. 💕

First we have my "heart story," my magical realism fic The Merry Strays of Lighthouse Sanctuary, which is technically two stories because I wrote the first one in a day for Our Flag Means Party, and then that little idea exploded and I ended up writing another 115K to go along with it. The basic premise is "what if a house was built with so much love it came alive?" Took a lot of inspiration from The House in the Cerulean Sea in terms of vibes, so if you like that, you'll probably enjoy this one. Feels like being wrapped up in a big gay hug. Also recently re-read this one and made some minor edits to prepare it for a book binding and have to say, it holds up. I cried at the end.

Next I'll highlight my beloved Clock Boys, which I feel like was my Peak Writing for OFMD experience. I came up with this idea when I passed a clock repair shop and went "heh, dark and mysterious shop, what a great place for a PWP. Hey, this reminds me of a random clock fact I picked up from one of my favorite shows. Hey, let me do some googling. Wow, clocks are really horny and also have a ton of nautical ties. Cool." I posted the first PWP fully expecting it to be too niche to resonate with most people. It is shameless smut with more clock puns than I can count. But NOPE. People were INTO it. And maybe it's weird to get sappy when people tell me they love my PWP but I do get really sappy when people tell me they love the clock boys just because I never expected anybody else to do so. ANYWAY currently three stories, planning on a fourth for AUgust, probably mostly stand alone if you want. Just have to know Ed's a (w)horologist and Stede is horny for c(l)ock.

Next, I don't write a ton of canon fic just because canon is so perfect to me I don't want to touch it much, but I did really love how read me like a book came out. We have Ed going through great lengths for a Big Romantic Gesture and Stede always willing to "yes, and" him, even when he doesn't have a clue wtf is going on. It's unhinged, it's silly, it's romantic, it's got a lot of banter in line with those cut improv scenes... it makes me happy.

And finally, I'll highlight forever is our today (who waits forever anyway). I, uh, struggle keeping things short, but I managed it with this one and I think it may be one of the loveliest things I've written. Ed is a sea god who falls in love with mortal Stede and they're both punished for it. It's a lot of bittersweet, but also Buttons and the Swede are muses, so. You know. Got some silliness. And a happy ending. Prommy.

I've lost track of who's been tagged on this so apologies if you've already done this, but I'll tag @bizarrelittlemew, @ghostalservice, @petrichorca, @veeagainsttheday, @adhduck, @saltpepperbeard, and @chocolatepot. (And if you have already done it, link me to the post so I can add to my list.) 💕

[khaoala]

per usual the pamrak face touch gifsets are PERFECTION 🤌🏽

*insert finding nemo “now what?” gif*

If i keep asking for you to make gifsets will that make it seem like it isn’t over yet????😭

But seriously, did you miss me popping up in your inbox this past weekend with all of my nonsensical thoughts and opinions?

I’m not even sure what’s next on the docket, everything seems to be still filming at the moment. What gl(s) are you most looking forward to?

-🤫

i'm glad you enjoyed them, i for one, felt even more single going through all of their lovey dovey/supportive scenes again (but it was great, pamrak are so goals fr).

i'm fully planning on rewatching us in like a month or so just so i can watch my girls be lovely again but also bc i'm the type of rewatches shows i like all the time, so feel free to hit me with ideas if it pleases you.

listen, if there's something i enjoy is talking nonsense for paragraphs and then feeling self conscious about it later and it happens every time! you know that meme of the introvert having a great time chatting in a party just to get home and start panicking "why did i say that?" and and their comment was like "the weather is nice". that's me.

but you're right everything seems to be filming atm which is sad. i'm obviously looking forward to both gmm series that are planned for this year. whale store xoxo looks exactly like the type of show i'll have so much fun with bc it looks low stakes, but also a bit dramatic and has cats and bikes. june also said that they will start airing in june (haha) around the time of the blushing blossom fanfest, so i hope that's true and it doesn't get postponed like 23.5 was.

girls rule, i don't even need to say it right? girls doing questionable things and playing with each other's feelings like playdoh? sign me up. i hope it'll be sexy and hot and everything jojo has done in bls tbh. i need them to be toxic and red flags and i'll have so much fun with it.

i'm obviously super looking forward to clairebelle. they did their first script reading back on march 17th, and i'm not sure how far along on production they are but soon! at least it doesn't look like we'll lose this one like we did the last case and let's kick this love.

queendom also looks like it'll be a lot of fun. i, for one, grew up with the greatest swapping bodies movie, if i were you (2006), and this show seems to be up my alley as well. it looks funny, silly and houng and p.amp look like they can hold themselves up very well if the pilot is anything to go by. i'm excited (also, the secondary couple has older women - they are in their early 30's, so you know what i mean, older in gl perspective - and their dynamic also looks delicious).

only you because it's lingorm and even though the secret of us and i had our problems, lingorm's chemistry was very very nice to see. my one problem with only you though is that it looks very reminiscent of the dynamic they had as ladaearn (as in celebrity bubbly orm character and more of a normal job stoic ling character. i would have loved to see them switch dynamics, ngl). they are already filming this one and there are a many many tears as we expected from lingorm. i know they'll deliver.

harmony secret, for lmsy. like the secret of us, i had my issues with affair, but lmsy's chemistry is so very good. i'd say that they might be second to emibonnie in terms of chemistry for me, and they do kiss very pretty. also, harmony secret will give us hot rich and powerful couple dynamics, i'll be amazing to see.

last but not least, from the ones i could think from the top of my head at least, love design because i'm so looking forward to seeing jane falling in love with another woman. i don't really care about the plot much, but ✨jane✨.

[lettersfrombeyondthegrave]

So uhh christian linke saying Viktor is asexual?

First screenshot summarizes what was said, the other three are comments from the reddit post that I find very interesting

Here's the link included in the reddit post btw

I have to preface this by saying Ive seen just few posts talking ab interviews and statements of linke, never watched a full length interview or anything of him, don't know the guy, but the whole Vi thing that ended up not being a bigger center in season 2 makes me being reluctant in believing other things he says, sorry.

Before even touching on the ace part, about the first paragraph talking about how a part of the fandom shipping Viktor and jayce had no influence to the writing for season 2:

Number one feels silly, because it seems the writers very much kept in touch with the community, and I'm a truther about Mage Viktor (very implied??? based on how you read the scene??) being a retcon and how some other scenes felt like they're somewhere on ao3, so how do I not know they still saw the community liked a lot whatever was going between those two nerds and changes were still made on their plot based on that(even if they kept it platonic). But I digress

Number two, why do I get the vibes this guy just has some personal vendetta against jayvik nation? And this is a case of "Ah! Gotcha! These guys are not gay cus uuuuh one of them is ace and I don't know the difference between ace and aro"?

To get into the ace part (and jeez this post is already getting long), I'm ace myself. That's the only representation I can speak for on Viktor, so I very much appreciate the different insights I've seen of disabled people talking about his character from their pov, even more in general.

I also don't ship jayvik so I won't discuss it in those terms.

I wasn't taking in consideration oh he's a very smart, scientific guy obsessed with his work, more on the shy, introverted side and that fits the stereotype. Oh he's disabled and disabled characters unfortunately tend to get seen through this "sexless" filter

Dint cross my mind, at least not consciously

I had a little headcanon of ace Viktor simply cus that's what my brain does with my fave characters that dont show on screen or on page or on whatever, interest in sexual attraction. And also "haha purple (from the hexcore) like the flag" is a silly joke.

But when it's in some form, in the media or outside of it, said by someone that had control over writing decisions? That feels different.

It DOES feel very much "Dumbled*re is gay" type beat. You can argue that in this show there's no rlly "I'm gay" n stuff moment, relationships are portrayed and that's it, and ace rep in this scenario can be tricky cus it's more of a "lack", more of a nothing to show than something to show

At the same time Viktor plot was booked and busy on trying not to die and then going full final jrpg boss, it doesn't feel like in the text there was actual resemblance of rep, resemblance of "oh we always meant him to be ace, actually". + Viktor isnt the only character who we don't see interested in Those Sort Of Things, are we supposed to interpret all those other characters also as ace? See, it gets tricky.

In conclusion

If I'll continue to think of him as ace, it'll be as a silly little headcanon of mine and not what feels more like someone having beef with the discourse of a mlm ship than actually confirming good representation

Because you hear him say oh Viktor isn't cold and an emotionless machine, we see a lot of his emotions and how human he is (well first resurrection arguably makes him cold and. Metallic.) so, cool ace rep. But that's not all the stereotypes are about, as also the comments I included point out, and my bro Viktor start falling into all the other check boxes.

[ieatwormsandtheytasteverygood]

Fuck yuo *introduces self(s) again* (and then updates it again. the silly ppl in my head decided to shift around a lil)

Apparently we go by Áesgirr here. so I'll be doing that too. We use he/him, hey/hem/here/heren/hem self, and 'e/'em/'er/'ers/'emself. We're a transgender genderqueer man, bisexual, and aromantic. Bodily 18, Irish & South African. We're physically disabled, have autism, ADHD, psychosis and a few special extras to make life interesting (read: painful). We plan on converting to Judaism when/if possible, but can't for at least a while yet.

We're pretty inactive just because we forget that tumblr exists. Repeatedly.

Our autism decided to make a special left swing right back to Jirt & the Silmarillion, but we've still quite some fondness for mediæval history, and naturally for philology & other linguistics.

Fluent in (Modern) English, Middle English, and Afrikaans (albeit getting out of practise). Vaguely conversational at German, Swedish and Zulu. Quite terrible at Irish, Welsh, Setswana and Middle Scots. And we can understand quite a bit of Modern Scots, (written) French, Dutch, Old English, Ecclesiastical Latin, and various related languages.

We're eternally trapped in the hellscape that is the Silmarillion fandom, but also Doctor Who & its associates, Star Trek, Our Flag Means Death, Shakespeare (we love the political plays), Good Omens, and probably some others. It's a thing.

We have so many pets and we love them to bits. <333

We also like art and writing, but unfortunately our art blog is completely separate to this (irl people know about our art blog), so no art here alas. We might post some of our calligraphy however! We're getting back into writing (we might make a side-blog for our fanfics when we manage to publish them? or we might simply have it be implicitly known that we wrote those fics here; some irl people know our AO3). As a result, we've greatly increased our knowledge of Quenya and Middle English, especially in regards to threats, insults and declension/conjugation. We love love love music, and we sing tenor, and play the violin and cello. Please send obscure folk music to us!!

The main lads (gender neutral) that're currently active are:

Ruthuifin/Rúthuifim - he/him, e/em. Aro neu, cassgender. Ñoldo (elf). Far too old and far too good at making terrible jokes. You don't want to know what e has to say about Eldarin marital law. It's terrifying. And he's probably actually tax-fraud-romantic for all he goes on about it /j

Orchalon - no pronouns (auxiliary he/him). Anattractional, cassgender/agender (masculine or neutral terms preferred). Cursed to be Ruthuifin's brother, and Malto's cousin. Vaguely elvish, vaguely draconic.

Malto/Cólðir/Cóleblein/Maltalain - he/him. Probably aspec? Also an elf. He's the reason why we spent R4000 on all 12 volumes of HoME. Don't ask about the vat of wine incident.

Roquén(/Rochir/Rochen/Rocen) - hen/han/tîn/tîn/anhen (auxiliary it/its). non-binary. quoisexual, aromantic (cupioromantic), toric/NBLM, oriented aroace. yet another elf. burdened by tîn relation to ruthuifin and malto (much more tolerant of orchalon, for Obvious Reasons). music enjoyer, persecutor, and the Only Sane One Left.

Minyafaramo - he/him. male, aroace. elf (are we even surprised at this point). related to the other elves (what a shocker). is plotting alongside malto, tatyo and nelyo (not that nelyo) to find a way for us to do horseback archery. he still hasnt forgiven nelyo for straining a muscle doing HEMA a few weeks ago. loves animals and music as well as hitting people and objects with swords and/or bows.

Tatyafaramo - he/him. male, anattractional. you can guess the species. yes, he chose to go by this name. loves archery, but also animals, music, and literature. i suspect he enjoys hitting people with swords, too.

Nelyafaramo - he/him. male, aroace. he likes wood-carving, HEMA (archery & mediæval swordplay. dont ask him to do fencing. he will hit you over the head with the hilt of his foil.), and wroth. he's the one who gets to have anger over our daddy issues instead of Melancholic Thoughts.

Caliwë - they/them. we tried to name them Caliweg, but apparently "i am not shiny-ful". orangegender, yellowgender, bluegender, purplegender, gemder. aromantic (etc.), but ma-æsthetic. aids and abets malto and ruthuifin. for all they're an elf, they act remarkably like a golden retriever /aff. big sociology & anthropology nerd.

Ahto - he/him, any neos. cassgender; straight, grey-asexual, grey-asexual. visual art enjoyer, linguistics nerd, general nerd, daddy issues; standard ñoldo shit. send xem textbooks for literally any of the sciences, or else discuss conjugation and declension with him. is the Problematic™ one. would aid and abet the unholy alliance of rúthuifim-caliwë-aldarembinë, but for tyr fear of aldarembinë. this elf seeks further knowledge on plumbing and cannot stop rambling for the life of ven.

Loup - it/its. unhuman. no opinion on gender or sexuality. friends(?) with nelyafaramo et al.

cat - it/its. name must be pronounced as /ˈʔːːːːːːː/ (NB: really focus on the not breathing!!). my gender is whatever pisses u off the most, and my sexuality is painful to look at. unfortunate "babysitter" of malto. i have also aided and abetted malto. i do not apologise.

Pádraig - he/him. The One True Pope. Pan-oriented aroace, cassgender (or something like that). Formerly human, now a horror beyond your comprehension. His hobbies are insomnia and hating the British.

Obligatory DNI list: pædos, animal abusers, people who post using entirely inaccessible fonts (think faux cyrillic kind of thing). If you're going to be a dick about our identity please just move on. We can & will block liberally, especially when it comes to sexybots. If you're not in fact a sexybot and we end up blocking you, send us an anonymous ask with your username & we shall unblock.

Have a great Tuesday, and may you never experience the horrors of Malto Rúthuifim spouting cursed Silmarillion facts.

[rayman-chibi]

What is one head-canon you really REALLY like but don't actually want it to be canon?

I'll go first (TW Long rant about Rayman being trans and people not liking it)

As you may know, I was one of the first known Rayman artists to make the head-canon that Rayman is transfem, (which is ironic considering how manly Rayman is in his games like 95% of the time, but y'know, some transfems might have actually been like that before their eggs cracked, sometimes maybe even after to repress their gender dysphoria (not to be personal though -v-'))

When I first posted the drawing of Rayman holding the transfem/gender-fluid flag, I first thought that this would get me banned from the faces of Tumblr, Instagram, even Twitter (ESPECIALLY Twitter) just for making some video game character who's canonically male to have a more feminine gender... but surprisingly, people were cool with it. In fact, some people actually encouraged me to keep going with this head-canon. So I did. I've been showing off this head-canon to Tumblr and Instagram (mainly Tumblr), with other artists praising me for the stories I make with this head-canon, but this got me thinking at one point, "how would a more public audience react if this were canon?"

Now, this is where the second part of the question comes into play, because as much as I like the idea of Rayman suddenly realizing that he was an egg all this time and coming out to everyone he knows- his friends, his family, even his own worst enemies- that he's a trans woman/transfem and everyone just accepting it and even helping on defending him whenever some random person makes transphobic remarks to him... I'm kinda paranoid that this would hurt the series and the creators of said series as a whole.

So far, I only have one reason, but it's a reason to keep in mind, and that's the fact that there is a possibility this would end up in a situation similar to Snapdragon from High Guardian Spice or Bridget from the Guilty Gear series, with people getting angry at the creators of their respective series and even sending... pretty gruesome threats towards them. The only main difference is that while with Snapdragon and Bridget, when they were being feminine, it seemed to be a part of their characters and it's also what helped them grow to realize about themselves, with Rayman... well, what about Rayman?

As I've stated before, Rayman hasn't been very effeminate in the games; there was a time in a Hoodlum training video where we supposedly saw him dressed up as a ballerina for a few seconds and another time in the Raving Rabbids series where he dressed up as a grandma as a wearable costume... but that's just it. That's all the real explicit potential there is to make him a transfem. The effeminate aspect of him has been pushed aside by the creators and people brought those examples back up just to go, "oh meh gerd, look at how silly this is! Haha femboy go brr".

Now, again, it is possible for transfems to go through a masculine phase before realizing that they're trans, but this is a fictional character someone made and publicized who can't even talk much about their problems to you directly and therefore can't defend themselves from the many brutal messages coming from those who were fans of them we're talking about here, so the problem then is how people are going to react, and we all know how people had reacted to fictional characters going from effeminate men to trans women so suddenly.

It's also possible that that won't happen, but it still might because I'm kind of scared that the internet as a whole wouldn't learn their lesson and just dunk on Rayman of all people for being written to come out as trans, drowning out the actually accepting people who would come to those same terms.

I'm just gonna tell you right now that at the end of the day, this is just a fictional character, we and the original creators can do whatever we want with him (except make him into too much of a horrible person for either the stupidest of reasons or for no real reason at all), we can even call him a "her" if we so please, that is all.

Thanks for reading (if you've made it to this point at least)

[littlest-bugz]

poking you because I wanna be friends but dont know how to start a conversation /silly positive

- 🫶🏼

Friendship you say !! I would love that :Dc

I myself suck at initiating conversations, BUT I think a good place would to be find something we have in common,,,,, I don't know if I ever put my interests up publicly? I'll do so for you anon, since it may give us something to talk about <2

The Crew and Co. Collective Interests

Horror Media, but ESPECIALLY internet horror... so like, analog horror, digital horror, found footage, the likes. We do have some favorites tho!! and those are : Lacey's Games, The Mandela Catalogue, Vita Carnis, Daisy Brown, Everymanhybrid, Marble Hornets, Literally ANYTHING made by VibingLeaf on youtube, The Backrooms by Kane Pixel, and more that im probably forgetting

Drawing / Painting, both digital and traditional. We are character artists, and primarily character designers. So thats to say we suck at composition and backgrounds /silly/

Graphic Design. A good few of us toy around with designing logos, and flags, and userboxes- We love making pretty looking stuff because we cant work in a space that isn't aesthetically pleasing [shout out to on our our obsessive-compulsive disorders].

Writing / Poetry. I'm getting fired up at the thought of talking about my fantasy series, but I will sustain my control- We're HUUUUGE into writing, especially our own original stories, though we wish we had enough fandoms to write fics for. We tend to be a bit more goofy in our writing, and mature, but we've been told we have a decent writers voice for our characters which EEEEE when i was told that it was the biggest compliment ever,...

Speaking of fandoms!! We are in... literally none :( We don't know how to engage in fandoms anymore, or how to get attached to media, but in terms of fandom media, we like Steven Universe, KinitoPet, Minecraft [no mcyt's tho tbh], Stardew Valley, and Marble Hornets. I'm sure there is more, but I really don't interact in fandoms asides reposting fanart. We wish we could get attached to media like we did in our youth, but its an overall attachment issue :( We've lately been looking back into MLP stuff, but we can't draw ponies [we have pony ocs tho!]

Witchcraft / Paganism. We're a Solitary Witch with a 'specialization' in Candle Magick and Sigils.

Singing and Playing Instruments. Formerly, we were a Flute Player, but now we mostly play out 3rd baby, our Bass Guitar. We're very much music fans, and our musical roots on one side of my family goes back to, like, 1482 [thank you grandma for the genealogy folder on that one]. We mentioned it somewhere, but we have perfect pitch [as a result from all the music in our bloodline] and all we use it for is pitch matching tech. When we play our bass, thats how we do song covers tho! Because we can't read bass clef,,,, only treble.

Organizing Information and Data. Admittedly, this is more one specific cohost, but he's honestly gotten us all to like it to a certain extent.

Animation, stop motion and digital- We used to do traditional too, but it's wicked hard.

Crafting, but especially beaded bracelets and clay sculptures

Finally, our own ocverse. We have a hard time talking about it over tumblr dms because its so uncomfortable to message on [too used to discord], but you can literally get us going for hours, at least,,, if you heed the TWs of it, since our OCverse is rooted in our trauma.

and more...

If any are similar, or you just want to ask, feel free! Over anon or otherwise! I will also note that we love finding new media! We're terrible at it because we have bad anxiety when watching new media. But if youre willing to send it, I can try !!

[localsharkcryptid]

For the bingo, c!Dteam. Sapnap, George, and Dream

Ah the full trio let's GO! All these are color coded as well cause I CAN

George, good ol goggy, I can't say I have too many thoughts about him alone (my xdnf/XD thoughts are for another day cause OH BOY) but I do absolutely love the hardcore mushroom aesthetic. In general I don't have a set design for him yet in my mind but the options are plentiful and FUN, though usually I take my buddy moff's route and go for a mooshroom vibe. I do think he's a interesting character though I'm just not as well versed with him. ^^

Sapnap my beloved little idiot, I'm very partial to him cause of my own design thoughts (which are pretty average/stereotypical but I do give him a fun blade tail :]) and headcanons but personally I think Sap's lore is VERY underappreciated!! It's really good and has a very interesting progression too it that feels very realistic for what all goes down in the end!!! He's a guy who's so often caught in the middle of personal conflicts and god it's interesting, also don't even get me started on him and Punz being narrative foils to eachother cause MMM GOOD SHIT. Also he's fuckin stupid/pos for making the death pact with XD, going off of the death pact rules the real reason Sapnap finale didn't happen was because of Dream & Punz testing the revival book, the MOMENT Dream lost his final life man just dropped dead. Great job guys.

And last but not least, the most controversial one of them all, Dreammmm!!! My view of this guy has done a full 180 since I joined the fandom (thanks dreblr) and I can truthfully say that I love his character these days! I think there's so much to be done with the fact that we never see his pov and how he's written that's so underutilized. He's an insanely compex character and honestly it's now a red flag for me if I see people just not even try to characterize him with any form of complexity. There's sooo much going on with him and he deserves so much better in terms of fandom treatment. Also in general his character is so fuckin INTERESTING with his like psychology and how he thinks, his overarching story is so so good.

My personal design for him is a chimera, he has feline, mammal and serpentine traits in my mind for a fun best of all world type of design - and one that inherently plays into how he's often viewed within the story from the other characters (ya know unbeatable monster and all that shit - not unlike the nature of The Chimera, though in Dream's case it is very much a facade). I still don't actually know what his smile mask looks like with my design but eh I'll get to it eventually! Also for a silly headcanon I will share, I have the idea that post prison arc he has a little Siamese cat named Boots for company, who will also be getting his own post cause boots means soooo much to me.

[jaimehwatson]

1, 2, 10, 11, 15, 19!

Thanks Syb! <3

1.What’s something new that you tried in a fic this year? How did it turn out and would you do it again?

I wrote erotica involving a trans character for the first time in A Proper Apology! (Well, technically he's not actually human and wasn't really assigned any gender at birth, but you know, basically I wrote him like he's trans.) As someone who's still in the process of figuring out a transmasculine identity myself, I often prefer to read and write fics where the characters are all cisgender because it's like, I'm here to have fun, I don't even want to deal with thinking about all that complicated stuff that affects my real life right now. But I'm happy to have given something different a try with this fic, and I hope it's something I'll be able to do more in the future as I get more confident in who I am. Shout-out to @glitterarygetsit for beta-reading that one and helping polish it!

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don’t have to be finished or published!)

Apparently I've published 16 (most of which are pretty short), and I also have my Yuletide fic about to be revealed and bring it up to 17! Then in my unfinished drafts I have at least 5 more, all of which are for Our Flag Means Death. The new season gave me so many ideas that I didn't finish all of them, but maybe I'll revisit some in the new year!

10. What fic made you feel the happiest to work on?

Probably my magnum opus, Tonight on Ring of Revenge! It's my longest fanfic and probably in my top 5 longest works of fiction I've completed in general, and it was really fun and satisfying to be able to gradually make a wild idea I had while watching wrestling work out. I'm really proud of it and it feels very unique to me - like plenty of other people are also great at writing the kind of horny one-shots I do a lot of, but no one else made the pirate wrestling AU, that's a Jaime Special

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023

I'll do the same one I just answered - Tonight on Ring of Revenge! It loosely follows the overall plot of season 1 of OFMD but set in the modern era with the characters as pro wrestlers instead of pirates. Is that an extremely silly idea? Yes! Does it also actually suit the themes and characterization of the show really well? You bet! Are there ridiculous campy wrestling plots and choreographed fake violence and also sex? Hell yeah! I had a lot of fun doing research for it and I think there are plenty of details in there that wrestling fans will appreciate, but I also added plenty of author's notes explaining things for readers who are less familiar with wrestling. It's about 26k words and has a cute happy ending! Enjoy!

19. Share your favorite opening line

I think I have to go with this one from When You Like And Where You Like!

"We have three years of the past to discuss. Let that suffice until half-past nine, when we start upon the notable adventure of the empty house." As Sherlock Holmes leaned casually against the desk in my study, a self-satisfied smile on his pale and aquiline face, I was seized with a momentary urge to leap from my chair and throttle him.

The first line of dialogue is directly out of "The Adventure of the Empty House," and if I remember correctly, it precedes a bit of a timeskip to the story picking up later that night. The second line is me starting a little missing scene! I really enjoy writing stuff like this that follows canon closely and could arguably have happened in between without necessarily contradicting anything, and I think it's a solid opening in terms of how much it establishes in those first two sentences: if you've read this story you'll probably recognize that line and know immediately at what point in canon this is set, and you'll understand why Watson is angry and why this is something that deserves a missing scene to get into his reaction to what's going on more!

2023 in Review Fic Writer Asks

[salsedine]

Hullo! 💜

for the Pride ask…

6, 9, 11 (excluding Portrait of a Lady on Fire tho, that would be too easy :P) , 21

… If they're too many, just choose the ones you like best, of course. :3

Morning! <3 And no worries, thank you for asking!

6. (If you’re out) do you wish you came out sooner? Later? Or was it the right time?

I came out, or tried to, multiple times - so it's more like a "I wish I stood my ground and told people to f*ck off when I was 18 insted of crawling back into the closet until my 20s" thing. So yeah, I wish I started the 'ehyyy i'm a lesbian' process sooner.

9. When did you realize you weren’t cishet?

I started thinking about it, albeit in nebulous terms, around 12/13 years old; I remember writing a passionate essay for my Literature class against homophobia and then being called slurs "as a joke" for the whole year by a then-called-friend (one that also gossiped about me being a lesbian during elementary school, I was the classic tomboy so an easy target lol). The first Official and More Aware Coming Out was at 18- as mentioned above, it went badly. I guess I've been knowing I wasn't straight for a long time, but other factors didn't exactly encourage me to... be myself, I guess.

(as for the 'cis' part, I must admit that I've never thought much about my gender. I definitely felt the transition into puberty/teenage-hood as a moment when suddenly people had a lot of expectations about me and my body, tho. Annoying.)

11. Favorite (or just one you love) piece of LGBT media?

This is funny because when I reblogged this I thought "oh well, if someone is going to ask n.11 I'll just say Portrait of a lady on fire ahaha easy" :P BUT I'm glad I actually have to think about it, because there are so many good answers. I'll go with Black Sails - because the last season and Flint's "in the darkness" speech deserve it. Special mention to the coming out scene in Our Flag Means Death.

...so, long story short: Pirates.

21. What message would you give to your younger self?

ERRR. It would be a mixture of "You did your best with what you had. You are right to be angry, and it wasn't fair that you were left on your own to deal with everything" and "You always knew, you should have been better. Stop tiptoeing through life and molding youself to other people expectations. Stop doing things that make you uncomfortable just because they are part of the performance of heterosexuality- just stop. And go to therapy."

This was supposed to be funny and silly OOPS, have a cute seal to balance it:

[joe-moi]

ok i'm finally caught up after reading the morning the paper (this blog) here's what i'm thinking, sorry it's so long 😭

usually i'm not someone who cares about over analyzing bc most things do tend to be that deep, but i think we're reading too far into the friend group part of jk and csw a bit, we have no way of knowing if she's been around his friends or not, i think it doesn't help that he probably has more lowkey and not recognizable friends in ny, like music friends or something, i don't think it's weird we haven't seen her with nat and charlie bc i think if they were spotted all together that would make the relationship look a lot more serious, like jk and m were always spotted with nat and charlie in the early days so ppl would definitely make it a thing if jk started bringing her around them too

as for all red flags i think we're judging all this as if it's a full on serious relationship when it's not, maybe i'm giving them too much credit but i think they both know exactly what this relationship is, like it's fun and something new but it's not going to turn into marriage or anything, and i do think they like each other but i think they know this isn't something lasting through the strike ending since he'll be so busy, i honestly don't see them trying to make it work at all and just going back to being friends or pure fwb whenever they're both in ny, i do think maybe chase might have stronger feelings only because she's used to having strong short term relationships but i think this is a fling for her too, that's why they're ok being very friendly publicly

they are in a honeymoon phase and i know you turn blind during that but i don't think it's fair for us to judge it like a potential long term thing just yet and be questioning his judgement like he's this oblivious (god i hope not) 😭 idk the anons calling whatever they have going on weird and/or toxic rubbed me the wrong way i really think they're just two people having fun while they're unemployed

i could be wrong maybe we'll see csw in atl and i'll have to eat my words but that's what i'm thinking

oh last tidbit, i was going to say jk hanging around the it girl friend group surprised me at first too as someone who loves rachel and ayo specifically, i'm very biased in this part but now i think it does kinda make sense for him, bc yeah they are kind of it girls rn but they're doing it in a very ironic and sort of dorky way, like if you watch clips of ayo and rachel together they're humors very silly and dorky, they seem to enjoy fame a lot but none of them have an ego about it maybe jk likes that, it is funny imagine what a conversation between jk and them would sound like tho 💀

Another perspective about this! But I think we’ve beaten this horse to death y’all. We just gotta wait and see.

[ambivalentgaylor]

A few very normal thoughts:

Okay so I've just watched the Lavender Haze video for the first time after avoiding it due to being pissed at her for heterosexualising the term, and have noticed the following: the weather guy on the TV points to the number 78...I googled and 1978 was when the gay pride flag was first flown in San Francisco. Also, what's with the purple she's using in every video? In Anti-Hero it came oozing out of an egg. Everyone (well, lesbians) knows purple/lavender is a lesbian colour.

But I worry that maybe she's just so excruciatingly straight she really does think "lavander haze" was a term commonly used in the 1950s after seeing it used once on a mad men episode. So sad. But she's also scattering the bi flag colours absolutely everywhere, and she is not an idiot. She's a smart lady. I cannot accept that she'd be so silly and detached as to not understand that it is exploitative to employ lesbian and bisexual coding in her art simply as a way of "supporting" lesbians and bisexuals. Like, surely not.

Since her breakup I've therefore allowed myself to have lesbian interpretations of some of her lyrics on Midnights. So that's fun for me.

At first, taking it at face value and not wanting to read into it, I thought "I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me, no deal - the 1950s shit they want from me" was just her speaking about media/public/fan pressure to marry her man, and her desire to ignore that pressure to just feel good in her relationship as it is. But if I allow myself to be a lesbian about it, one might say that she was in a relationship with a man who wanted marriage and was way into sex-roles and she was like "Ugh... I feel the lavender haze aka my lesbian tendencies from previous relationships with women creeping up on me...no deal to these men who want that 1950s shit from me...I'm damned if I stay in this straight relationship due to fear of what people might say if I explore my love of the ladies a bit more... mayhaps I'll move towards this lavender haze..." (this interpretation is based on the theory that she's bi, because I don't think I can bring myself to believe she's actually a lesbian and all her public hetero relationships have been "beards").

Anyway, the Bejewelled video. In which she wants the castle, not the man. This goes back to what I said a while ago (to myself and one other person, don't worry about it), about how her comeback after the Kanye thing would likely not have gone down well if she didn't have a boyfriend to point to like, "Whom cares about any of you bc I am all loved up with this amazing man, haha to the losers who expected a bitter revenge album". Making the rep album about love allowed her to regain the kingdom keys Kanye took away...and get her castle/superstardom back...and now she no longer needs to show the world she can be in a long-term hetero relationship and isn't the "whiny overdramatic harpy who disses men in her music too much and always plays the victim" the world characterised her as. She has the castle and left the prince after he proposed because she was like, "Sike! Just needed this castle actually." And we know she would not have regained the kingdom keys as quickly if she didn't have a "stable het relationship" to point to, because society doesn't love and admire a strong, independent woman with cats. That's a witch, girls.

Also: at the end of the Bejeweled video, once she's in the castle having ghosted the prince, she looks out and sees dragons flying around... perhaps envisioning what is to come if she were to "come out"...?

In saying that, another interpretation could be that she's saying she's gonna go back to being the "annoying serial dater who can't keep a man and complains too much" that everyone hates, bc she doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't want kids. And so she is predicting the criticism that will come from her preferring the castle/solo success to settling down like a "good woman" should.

See? I'm allowing for the possibility that every lesbian and bisexual clue she has ever dropped over many years has been purely accidental on account of straight people being clueless. You never know, good not to put all your eggs in one basket, pays to be flexible in life, etc.

Anyway, I don't know if any of this has been said before because I have been completely disconnected from this whole era out of bitterness, so if you're a serious and professional gaylor truther reading this like "um...duh" then...fine. Fine!

[pompadourpink]

Hi mum! This is probably gonna sound so stupid but i need your advice on a topic. I know that its silly but it has been bothering my mind a lot lately. So im 17, nearly 18 and never had a boyfriend. And since im a senior now in high school, this year is important to me to achieve things academically. But in my class there is a boy, and i am in the same class with him for the first time so i dont know him very well. He is very smart, and you know those silent but witty and funny types? He's that. And for the first time in my life im feeling some tension when im around him, and it will probably sound so stupid but i know that he feels it too. There is just something really strong. And we havent even talked a word yet. God i know this sounds ridiculous i wanna punch myself. But he's always on my mind. I dont know what to do. Even if he asked me out (which would never happen ) i wouldnt go out with him because its a busy year for me and he is popular for his short term relationships with popular and pretty girls so im probably not his type anyway. I cant even wish that he likes me because he would break my heart. But i cant get him out of my mind. Please show me a way out. And at the same time i feel so shitty for never having a relationship. I know nothing about this stuff and i am a walking disaster so no boy will probably ask me out. It would be good if someone showed interest in me. What do you think i should do about that? Thank you for reading this i know its stupid but you give the greatest advice and i wanted to hear your take on it.

Aah also one of my friends has a crush on him. So imagine how shitty is my situation 😬

Hello darling,

A few things: 1/ no, you are not a walking disaster; you're trying to figure it out; 2/ no, you are not lame for having no past relationships; you're very young and it's all fine.

As usual, I'll be very candid because I've been in a similar boat.

You don't have a *crush* on the guy: you don't know him; you're fixating on the idea of him because you are inexperienced and romantic, and your brain has been filling in the gaps and making him into your idea of a great guy. I suggest you befriend him and figure out who he really is. Chances are he will be different than what you pictured, and you'll stop being infatuated.

I wouldn't worry about your friend - even if they start dating, she is probably going to get dumped after a few weeks when something better comes along since that is what he's been doing, so I don't think you will be missing much.

When I meet a guy, we're in for a three-week-long interview so I can see what he's like, what he stands for, etc., before anything happens. Once you discover your green, grey, and red flags, let them be your most faithful weapons.

Don't look for "the one - the definition is unstable, and everything is temporary. You don't have to look for a husband, but don't willingly get into relationships you'll have to heal from.

Many women live unhappy lives because society tells them that they are not complete if they're single, so they force themselves into a relationship with a guy who doesn't even like them, but is satisfied by a life where he gets free housekeeping and sex, and always has the last word because she won't leave him, which allows him to pretend he's incompetent to make her take care of more chores, flirt, be mean, etc. He might marry her and have kids because those are her conditions for staying with him, and he doesn't want to stop living like a bachelor and being served for the rest of his life. But he will remain a guilt-free bum because he never had any intention to change, while she's on social media wondering why he isn't interested in their third baby. When you are craving love, it is a risk. Know your worth. There are great men.

There are people interested in you. Definitely.

Now, a few general tips:

Appearance, especially for women, will be tied to your reputation; at the very least, act pleasant, wear plain/well-cut clothes your size, and have clean hair and nails. Get ready as if you were going to bump into a VIP. Leaving a great impression pays off.

Self-deprecation makes you look like a moron and get ghosted because self-deprecation screams insecurity, unreliability, maybe mental illness; no recruiter or bachelor wants that and toxic people do and will use it to destroy you. Stand straight, make eye contact, and speak at least neutrally about yourself.

The world is smaller than you think, and you might see people again: if someone annoys you, unless it is genuinely a question of ethics, let go. You can't get a second first impression, and you can't nail the first if people have been talking shit.

Feel free to DM me to chat some more!

Love,

Mum

[layingitoutforyou]

Am I dumb for not understating what the big deal about the ask is? He liked it because it’s work related and he was on the cover of the same magazine. He used to like Margos posts like two years after the breakup. Am I missing something, like why would people freak out over a like? I like some on my ex’s posts too and we ain’t ever getting back together lol.

You're not dumb. You're the majority who have learned to not be emotionally affected by this girl that shouldn't even matter anymore. Yeah, it's a fucking instagram like. Some people are being way too over dramatic over it. Who the hell cares. It's over, and it's not going to happen again.

We all knew there were so many reasons for them being over and never happening again, including him indirectly talking shit about their relationship lately. It's like one silly and stupid thing like an instagram like affects everyone so much (STOP GIVING THAT GIRL SO MUCH POWER) that all rational thought goes out the fucking window.

I sent something to another blog and they didn't post it but i'll post it here.

I think a lot of people are being over dramatic and need to calm down.

Go read a book or get off your phones. It's just a fucking instagram like. My god. Don't throw away the almost hundreds of proof we have that shit show wont ever happen again because of this silly little thing.

Move on. It's over.

It is not happening again.

They are not getting back together.

Have you been seeing the same interviews as me where he's been glowing since dumping her and where he's talking shit about red flags and acting like he's happy where he is now single and possibly looking for just having some fun? Are you just forgetting he called the paps only to call himself single? Please don't throw everything away because of a stupid like.

There's your answer.

Who knows why he liked it, he has a phone and can do whatever the fuck he wants, bu the reason was not romantic. We don't know their relationship like they do, we weren't there. Maybe they are on good terms now, maybe aside from him dumping her and their break up, he still wants to support her. They lived together for a while, they were intimate. He is allowed to want to like her post without it meaning they want to start things up again. I don't understand how people don't understand things like that. He could've liked it out of support, because maybe he knows she was trying to get that cover, maybe he's not a terrible person, maybe he was having like a spree. It's literally not that big of a deal! People who are freaking out are all overthinking it way too much.

There are more things pointing to it never happening again that it ever happening again.

People have become so obsessed with this girl and it's making them think illogically.

Let's stop talking about it all together, and let's stop with the lets wait and see what happens talk too because IT's. A . FUCKING. INSTAGRAM. LIKE. there is nothing to wait and see for. Nothing is going to happen.

It's all fanficiton and created in your head because of months of micro analyzing every single thing that girl does. Us who stopped following her every move see more clearly than you do.

It's over and it's not happening. Now shut up about it and go back to talking about just Seb, everyone!

[icharchivist]

Oh no I agree w/you on not being hard on fans who think differently. One of the reasons I like fan discussions is to read other people's thoughts and try to understand where the ones I disagree w/are coming from. That's just my personal view and reading of the character. I think lately the stress has been getting to Chaoji so he's extra harsh and that's going to be unattractive to Allen's friends. I also think he's wording things the wrong way. It'd be better if he said I'll fight the Noah -

2 instead of I'll fight Allen or telling Allen's friends to forget about him. In this way Chaoji is, whether he means to or not, making it sound like Allen is JUST a Noah. Which.... Is actually a interesting thought. What does the average person think how a Noah works? Does he think Allen is 100% gone now? *shrugs* Either way agree to disagree on some parts. I have no probs w/fans so forgive me if it sounded I was harsh to them. I was just naming of groups I saw and thought it was interesting.

Ahh alright, sorry then for the lecture! it’s fine, don’t worry now that it’s cleared up. 

I think i’m getting a little paranoid of some fandom arguments? especially when it starts to involve how some fans react to some controversial events. Bigger fandoms have been so filled with dramas (there had been a lot of push back against people liking not pure uwu characters that i get defensive at the idea of judging how someone may approach a controversial character they may like) i tend to end up having red flags over silly things i would probably have used myself a few years back. 

Your argument was fine, and honestly pretty mild in that term, i guess i’ve just had seen enough more virulent argument to be a little.. *alarms bells* upon reading some vague keywords. 

So my point is, my bad, i’ve got a little defensive there and judged your ask too harshly. I apologize.

Now back to the topic, yeah agreed on Chaoji. I honestly think Chaoji doesn’t know what details makes a Noah? I mean, the Order didn’t know before Road made her introduction and the Bookmen had to explain to them a few things. No one knows what it is like to turn into a Noah, no one knows about the awakened memories, and hell, the 14th is already a specific sort of Noah (i say it with all the love, but Nea isn’t a Noah Memory like Joyd is, he’s a parasite inside Allen’s body: his own being, not a memory that awoke in Allen, so even that when you know Noah’s development logic, is weird)

Chaoji didn’t become an exorcist until after the Ark’s arc and no one had any reasons too explain to that random crew man who was just helping carrying Lenalee around what little secrets they had learn about the Noah. So I think Chaoji still sees them as “they control the Akuma, they are rotten to the core, and once they turn there’s no come back”, perhaps projecting what he knows of the Akuma (which in which case is true, once an akuma, the only thing you can do is kill them with innocence for salvation - no attempt to really save them. Which makes me think, Chaoji did know Chomesuke- i think he wasn’t developped enough to have a reaction to him, but the fact Chomesuke had to destroy himself bc he couldn’t resist to its nature anymore might have added to this argument that there is no salvation for Dark Matter). 

For Chaoji I really don’t think he had the time to know about Noah stuff, and everything we know about how Noah comes to be come from Noah’s POV, so not something the Order may know, let alone a stubborn exorcist who hates them by principle. Allen tends to extend his compassion to non-humans because in a way... if he had seen Mana as non human the moment he would have turned him as an Akuma i think Allen couldn’t have stand it. (also i ended up mixing up with FMA but that reminded me of how Ed refused to kill the armor guys in the Lab 5 even when they kept saying they weren’t human anymore, because if he did so it would just imply that his brother isn’t human either and that it’s his fault that it is like that. I think the same reasoning can be applied to Allen @ the Akuma and extend to the Noah as long as the Noah are on the “side” of the Akuma. Ironically though considering “Mana” ended up becoming a Noah. Well. Always was, but you get my point)

Meanwhile the only strong feeling we’ve seen from an exorcist @ the Noah for being a Noah, was Kanda saying that since they are humans (which Skinn repeated) then they could be killed. Which i personally always took as a reassurance on Kanda’s part of reclaiming his own humanity and Alma’s, since they were denied it as kids and perhaps the only thing that, after all the horrors Alma had done, that made him human was that Kanda could kill him. Kanda asserting the Noah’s humanity in order to convince himself that death is part of humanity would, if i’m correct, be a sort of projection to protect that memory and identity, the same way Allen projects on others. 

But for the others, Lenalee had never hesitated around the Noah, even upon meeting Road, she quickly fought back. Lavi has a bad experience with Noah but he’s neutral enough to care more about what Allen wants in the end (when Allen wants to rescue Tyki the whole thing is about “the guys at the Order will look badly at it but if you think it’s important...” and not “why you do want to rescue the guy i wanted to kill a few hours ago”)Then there’s mainly Krory with the twins (and Lenalee to an extend) and I think there was too much irritation going on about them being brats more than them being Noah that went on there. 

But from Chaoji’s point of view who knew nothing about them, had spent his life hating the dark matter for taking what he loved, he saw.... Well Tyki playing with Lavi’s grief and threatening Lenalee, before trapping them in the Ark and trying to kill Allen, he’s seen Skinn  attack everyone and they then left Kanda behind with him, he’s been here a huge chuck of the Jasdebi fight just to see the Twins being Absolute Disaster Making You Lose Faith In Anything They Ever Represent (And It Happens To Be The Noah This Time) (did i ever mention that i love those stupid twins? I love them. They’re so dumb.), Road destroying Lavi’s mind and torturing Allen into forcing him to destroy Lavi, and finally the Lullubel attack on the Order that killed a huge amount of people. And if we extend the timeline to when he could have caught up his next meeting with the Noah in the Alma arc made him KO, kidnapped Lavi and Bookman who are now thought dead, and Fiidora’s parasites tortured him when he was powerless to save Lavi and Bookman, which might add some feeling of guilt there by the by. 

Without understanding of the Noah he just saw... the sheer destruction they brought along with them.

So Allen saying “I might become a Noah and you will have to kill me” - well I think seeing how horrible the Noah had been up to this point was enough for Chaoji to think that if Allen became one, it would override all of the good qualities Allen had. After all he has never seen the Noah before they became Noah.

Tbh It makes me even wonder if being introducted to Tyki in his human form (and Road to her human form as well but it’s more minor than how they befriended Tyki before that) may have made more possible for Allen to want to try to see that humanity. Because he saw this humanity with how Tyki behaved with his friends. More than just... hearing about “Oh apparently he has friends” that Chaoji would have heard from Allen, Lavi and Krory’s reaction upon meeting Tyki again. 

In a way, the fact Krory also has this association adding to how much he cares for Allen to relativise the way “becoming a Noah” might affect Allen - in a way Chaoji cannot. Because Krory saw Tyki having seemingly meaningful friendships with humans so, becoming a Noah wouldn’t come out as completely monstruous for him a way someone who just know the Noah might. (that, and also how his love for Eliade was serious and might make him more willing to believe in that humanity, even if Eliade told him in the end that she was just using him. Krory didn’t know she was lying - but he might hold on to that feeling).

So adding to all of Chaoji’s unchecked prejudice, there is this complete unknown over people he had only known as cruel. He has never seen their humanity the way Lavi, Krory, Kanda and Allen has. Then again yeah it doesn’t excuse anything because Miranda and Lenalee for exemple are in the same situation having suffered first hand from tortures from, well, Road for exemple, but trusting Allen above all while just as much in the dark. Even if depending how much the infos Bookman gave came to Miranda and Lenalee before Chaoji joined the Exorcist Group.

So that ended up being a lot of rambling dkjhfd but my point is that therefore, Allen is the one to see the humanity of the Noah the most, Krory and Lavi has reason to at least know personally Tyki’s human side to doubt how the Noah’s cruelty works, Kanda had had how he met with Skinn to approach it, else every exorcists before Chaoji was recruited might have heard a bit from Bookman but that’s it. Any other sort of acknowledging this humanity would come with trusting Allen. Which Chaoji doesn’t. 

And no one knows what “becoming a Noah” is like. And while Chaoji wasn’t there and i’m certain Lveille lied, but Allen did have a swift change of behavior and personality at least twice in the Alma’s arc for everyone to see (when talking to the Earl + when Kanda stabbed him). Even Johnny saw that. A second hand retelling could just convince Chaoji “well perhaps he had no control and it doesn’t matter what kind of person he was - once a Noah, you become a monster” and that could be enough.

That was a lot of ramble i’m so sorry dkjhfd but yeah. It’s a mess. 

And it’s just... there’s no way Chaoji can know. All he could do would be to trust Allen. Even seeking for answers isn’t exactly a position Chaoji is in, even if it would be preferable if he did question what he thought so far (like the others do) rather than just thinking “yup, he’s a goner, i’ll fight him”

if that makes any sense kdjhfd

idk Chaoji’s perspective is kinda fascinating to me. I dislike that he has it and doesn’t question it, but it’s fascinating to see how being emotionally disconnected from every elements we have ended up caring about can make someone like this. It really shows the price of emotional investment for me to see how Chaoji behave. He’s kinda the Counter-audience in that regard. And that’s what makes him fascinating, for as much as i dislike him as a person ahah.