#I'll just hope I can open the shop really soon so people have at least a small window to take advantage of the prices as they're now

[elektroyu]

Oh shoot. You know what I just realized?

If I move out in the next months and I'll have to pay for everything myself like internet, rent, electricity and all that...

... that means I'll HAVE to raise prices really soon after opening the shop 😓 and that really sucks?

[boiohboii]

Our wedding menu (Lando Norris x reader)

When your friend leaves you to entertain yourself you decide to try something really new.

or

in which you wanted to have fun and a really handsome, curly haired british boy is your victim.

N.B: just a silly little drabble inspired by this video, hope you guys like it! WARNINGS: not proof read, spelling mistakes maybe? Also, don't do that in public, this is just for fun really. Let me know what you guys think!

masterlist

When people are bored they watch a movie, read a book or maybe go outside and look around. But you weren't feeling like doing any of those things, your friend has left you to go on a date and honestly you can't blame her, the guy was extremely handsome and so so polite, which is why you are currently sitting in a cafe doing what you do best- people watching.

There was an old couple sharing their lunch and smiling (they are what anyone dreams of, in Monaco with each other after however many years of marriages), there was an employee on the phone behind the counter probably arguing with someone by the movements in her hands and the chewing of her own lips, and there was a group of guys (fuck off, why are they so handsome) who you are pretty sure are famous- if the guys, girls and old rich people coming up every few minutes asking for photos and autographs weren't enough of a sign the billboards you've seen scattered around Monaco in your short visit of 4 out of these 9 guys (that's a big ass friend group) were confirmation of them being models at least (which adds up to these looks).

Now you weren't much of a jokester in front of strange people, especially not a group of 9 handsome guys, but hey life is all about trying new things which is why you decided it'd be fun to try and see what their reactions would be.

Standing up you rushed out of the cafe, was it a good idea? No. Did you have enough social energy to pull this off? No. Do you have enough confidence to talk to one handsome dude who is in the middle of his handsome friends? Also no. But none of that stopped you from going to the burger truck a few blocks down asking for 2 double cheeseburgers and 2 chocolate frosties. After taking your receipt you stood in line, waiting for your order.

"I love their variety so much! Everything is available"

"Yes! I am so happy that they have no meat options"

Oh shit. What if he's vegan!

Leaving your place in the line you went back to the cashier and ordered the most appealing name from their non meat menu.

After finally having your food in hand you went back the same way stopping in front of a flower shop, what flowers should you get? would he even accept the flowers? What if he's allergic to flowers?

Opening up Google you searched for the flowers that don't cause allergies, seeing roses on top of the list you decided to get a small bouquet of 4 roses before placing it carefully in your bag (in another zipper away from the food).

Entering the cafe for the 2nd time today you took a look around, extremely happy that the barista kept her word and made sure that all of the tables are taken and the only chair empty is besides the curly haired boy laughing at something his friends have said.

"Hi, I'm sorry to interupt but can I sit here?"

You asked as you looked around the table, upon seeing all of them looking at each other you explained further "it's just that there's no other chairs available, as soon as there is one I'll be gone, promise"

"Oh yes, of course, you can stay as long as you want"

The guy with green? or is it blue? eyes replied, while everyone else gestured for you to take a seat.

"Thank you," as you placed your bag you asked the one question that would decide if you should move on with whatever it was you were going to do "oh, sorry, do you have a girlfriend? I don't want to overstep or make any misunderstandings" you asked the victim of your plan, upon shaking his head you took a seat.

Sitting down you decided to start your plan, fishing the necklace out of the small zipper you turned to the boy sitting beside you holding the necklace between both of you

"Can you please do this for me? I can't reach"

All chatter around the table stopped, you can feel 9 pairs of eyes on you as you gave the boy a small, apologetic smile.

"Oh, uhh- yeah of course," ohhh, he's british, damn you might actually fall in love "let me just figure out how it works."

As he clasped the necklace together you thanked him, moving onto your next step which consisted of you bending down to get your mirror and your lipstick out of the bag, staying in your position you moved the bag a bit to the right before adjusting yourself a bit so that what you're doing would be noticed. Not bringing your mirror onto the table but still visible enough for the 9 guys to see you applying a new layer of lipstick, you can hear them questioning what you are doing and it just made you want to get up and run back to your hotel room.

You already started, no going back now.

Being satisfied with how the lipstick looked you placed it back in the bag before sitting properly, smiling at the blue eyed guy in front of you.

Waiting a bit so that the guy besides you isn't speaking to someone before you move onto the main plan.

Upon seeing him get his phone out you decided to go ahead, it's now or never

"We had a date, no?" you whispered to him as to not get the attention of his friends, at least not this soon.

The man blinked at you before looking around him, wanting to make sure you are talking to him "I'm sorry?"

Before he could even question you any further he saw roses within his eyesight

"These are for you," you pushed the bouquet into his frozen hands "hope it smells as good as you"

Red started covering his face, looking around at his friends, who quietened down as soon as they saw the red roses, searching for an explanation.

When you kept looking at him with that smile he let out a small thanks before smelling the flowers.

Okay, nice, so far so good, why is he so flustered oh my god, he's the cutest.

"Oh, I also bought burgers"

"I'm sorry, what is this about?"

"I also bought drinks, one is oreo and one is hershey, well it was supposed to be hershey kisses but they ran out so let me just," leaning over to him, you kissed his cheek "there you go, now you can take the hershey one"

The other 8 boys howled in laughter at the wide eyed, red faced boy staring at the drink in front of him on the table. He bite his lips, trying to prevent a smile from breaking out onto his face.

You decided to get your phone out and wait a bit before you moved on further with the plan, the group going back to their conversations while the brit besides you kept taking glances at you, thinking you wouldn't notice, but you did and you also noticed that he is not touching his burger, only drinking the frosty.

Dipping your hand into your bag you got out the other burger "that's a non meat burger, bought it just in case."

"Oh," he took the food from your hands, nodding his head in thanks "you didn't have to."

Giving him a full smile you went back to your phone, waiting for him to eat a bit of his sandwhich so you could make the next move. The way he gets flustered and shy makes you want to ask him out on an actual date, he is so fucking pretty.

"Do you like it?"

Nodding, he smiled at you as he gave you a thumbs up as he can't answer while chewing.

"I'm really glad, I was thinking about adding it to our wedding menu," the dark haired man sitting on the other side of the british boy choked onto his drink, looking at their group of friends wanting to make sure that he heard correctly "not as a main dish, more like a snack really."

The boy besides you shrugged, thinking about how a burger truck would look in a wedding.

"Mate, you better not forget my invite if you're gonna have burgers at your wedding."

[sardonic-the-writer]

Nacho X reader. Please

Nacho flirting with a customer at his father's shop. Him leaning over the counter to get close.

aAAArgHHHouhhh going insane over this

Dropplets of sweat were dripping down the tip of his nose.

The beams of hot New Mexico sun spared no expenses today, even indoors where walls of brick and plaster would normally provide some sort of shelter. And it was only growing hotter from what Nacho could tell.

Many of the employees both inside and outside had unbuttoned the first couple levels of their work uniform down to expose their chest to the rare breeze that would bless them. That wasn't limited to Nacho Varga, the lone man currently occupying a wooden front desk, whose golden chain bounced against his chest if he sat down too quick.

A slow trickle of perspiration on his skin made Nacho itch to rub it off. But be sighed softly, continuing to thumb through a stack of twenties in his hand.

"Here you go, sir." The sound of a register opening and change clanking ripped through the not so silent shop as he took out a few ones in exchange for placing the twenties in the box. "Have a nice day." He offered a faint smile while holding out the extra money, palms turned up toward the sky.

The man who has been standing opposite of him across the counter for the past couple minutes offered a grunt and nod of his head, turning to walk out the glass double doors behind him. Probably to his newly repaired car; curtosy of Nacho's Papa.

Nacho sighed, finally taking a moment to wipe the back of his hand over his face, only to bring it back coated in a shean of sweat. He frowned. He had been meaning to get around to looking at the lobbys air conditioning, but simply hadn't found the time. Balancing two different jobs wasn't always easy and for more reasons than one. He tried not to think about that too much when he was at his Papa's shop. Still. That didn't change the fact that this place would start feeling more and more like an oven if he didn't take a look at the metal box sometime soon.

Eventually Nacho caved. He wasn't one to put things off a lot. And it didn't seem like any customers would be stopping by for a moment.

The quiet man disappeared to the back for a quick bout of silence only to emerge seconds later lugging a six foot ladder behind him like it was nothing. He was careful to keep it a ways of the ground before setting it down with a clank, keeping in mind the freshly waxed floor that his father had stayed out late doing last month.

Quick work was made of the activity. Just a few twists of a screwdriver, poking his head around to try and see what was going on, and reassuring his dad at one point that he would be okay standing on a ladder without anyone to hold it for him.

He was hoping that he could go the evening without anyone walking in, maybe moving on from the air conditioner (which had thankfully started working again after a couple hits to the side) to fixing a few other things around the place. Something that he knew his dad would appreciate.

Clearly that wasn't going to happen though. At least not in that moment.

Cool gusts of wind blew across Nacho's back, accompanying the ones in his face from the air conditioner as he screwed the top of it back in place. Shuffling behind him and the jingling of car keys told him that someone had entered—most likely to pay for a part they needed or some repairs.

"I'll be with you in a moment." He called out over his shoulder, voice as soft as always. No one answered him back—not that he expected them to. People tended to mind their own business around here.

Still. Nacho hurried to get back behind the counter.

You really wished you had listened to your last mechanic about buying a new car.

According to the stout man that had been assigned to fix up your rust bucket, you were just better off hurting an entirely new car at this point.

"I don't know if I could even do anything more but waste your time." The gruff man had said through a bushy mustache. "I can give you the address to another shop just across town that could handle this make and model better, but really, you're just better selling it for parts."

You'd taken the small card with the adress on it anyway, thanking him with a sigh before paying for the little bit they had been able to do.

He wasn't entirely wrong by saying those things to be fair. Unable to buy even the smallest of things beyond groceries in your fruitless quest for a decent paying job, you had been stuck driving the same blue colored tin can everywhere ever since you were sixteen. Not that you really minded. The only time it gave you trouble was when a road had one too many potholes. Most of the time people would come up with excuses to have ride in their own car anyways, not particularly enthusiastic to strap themselves down into the confines of your vehicle.

At least it smelled nice and was clean enough. You hoped that the people at this other dealership would give you some brownie points for that.

The employees had been nice enough upon you pulling in, if looking a little bored. And sweaty. Not that you could blame them—you had felt the blast of heat in stepping out of your car.

One had met you, shaking your hand firmly as you explained why you were there. From the way he ordered the people around your car to pull it around the back, you could only assume he was the owner. Or at least a manager. Nonetheless, he seemed nice enough.

"Ah Emelio needs to stop sending people here." The scruffy man had barked out a laugh as he released his grip on your hand. "He's going to start running out of clients! More for me and my mijo, I suppose."

You had politely smiled your way through a few more minutes of conversation until he gave you the instructions to the cash register, along with what you might have to pay for. (According to him, you were lucky that he even had enough parts laying around to upgrade your car, much less fix it.)

So you had walked into the small looking building sat smack dab on the drab premises. It wasn't much, but it was good enough considering you were someone who had been driving a car around looking like it had been tossed off Mount Everest

It was cool inside—much to your relief. Looked cozy as well. Had a few worn chairs and a funny color scheme, but you liked it. Seemed more genuine than the stuffy car dealerships sprinkled all around the upper side of town. Where the air felt like you were inhaling febreez stright from the can and the costumer service smiles looked way too fake.

There was a man too. Your neck tilted a little to get a better look, but from his position on a rusty ladder, you weren't able to see much than the back of his uniform.

"I'll be with you in a moment."

His voice was soft, which was a suprise. With broad shoulders like that and—again, from the little they could see—strong arms, he looked like he would have a rough edge to him.

"What can I help you with today?"

You took a second to sweep your eyes across his face, observing the way his jaw clenched when you did so, quickly snapping your eyes away when you noticed. The last thing you needed to do was make someone feel uncomfortable by staring at them. Even if he did have attractive features.

"I was sent here to pay for a tune up, I think? I don't really know but they sent me in here to talk to you."

He hummed, leaning into the counter with his elbows.

"Well, I can try and help you out if you want." The corner of his lips tilted up a little, a small smile blossoming on his face. "I'm Nacho."

"Like the chip?"

Nacho let out a breathy laugh almost inaudible to you, his eyes crinkling at the corners joyfully. You couldn't help but smile back yourself.

"I guess you say that."

"Last name Cheese?"

Another slight chuckle.

"Sure."

He liked the way your eyes shone at him when he leaned toward you. And you liked the way he laughed at your terrible attempts at a joke

Maybe your shitty car wasn't such a bad thing to happen to you after all.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Still With You | A Jeon Jungkook Series Chapter 2

Summary: Jungkook comes over and makes dinner for a very sleepy Luna Pairing: Luna (reader) x Jungkook and Jimin, f2l love triangle Word Count: 5.9k~ Warnings: No real warning since I don't wanna spoil it 🤭 Start from the beginning

Trudging down the hall I punch in the access code and open the door to my apartment. I take my shoes off, set my stuff down, throw myself on my bed and scream into my pillow letting out all of the pent up anger and frustration I'm left with as a result of my shift today.

I flip over onto my back after letting out a heavy sigh and stare up at the ceiling, "There's no way there are that many stupid fucking people in this city" I say aloud. From drunks, pda obsessed teenagers, to perverts and really anything in between that can be labeled as a nuisance, I've dealt with. And that just in one day.

"I really need to get a new job" I huff rubbing my eyes, not minding the fact that I still have makeup on and sit up. Letting out another sigh I walk over to the kitchen to start making dinner. Or more like a late night snack at this point since it's already midnight. I still can't believe uncle made me stay this late, I guess it's just further punishment for being late today.

Looking inside my fridge I see that I have absolutely nothing to eat, "Great". I should've just picked something up at the store before I came home but I was too tired to even think about staying there another second. Picking up my phone to figure out what stores might be open at this hour I end up being interrupted by a FaceTime call.

"Hey Kook" I mumble, "Hey! What's wrong?" he asks, going from his smiling face to a concerned one. "Nothing really, just tired is all. I was thinking about walking over to the corner store near me to grab something for dinner real quick since I forgot to go grocery shopping the other day." I admit.

"This late? No, you stay home I'm coming over" he says getting up to grab his stuff. "No it's fine don't worry I'll figure something out" I say touched by his offer but feeling guilty at the same time. "Nope I don't care I'm coming over, any special requests?" he asks, picking the phone back up after putting his jacket on.

"You can pick" I say, happy at the thought of spending some time together. "Okay, can I spend the night?" he questions looking around his room for what I can only assume is his wallet.

"Do you even have to ask?" I chuckle, shaking my head. "I'm just checking" he laughs "I'll be there soon okay?". "Thank you, you're a lifesaver!" I breath out, feeling bless to have someone like him in my life. "Anything for you" he says and quickly ends the call. Smiling at his sentiment I turn my phone off and start getting ready for bed, it's just him so I don't feel the need to get dressed in anything other than comfortable clothes. 

I decide to take a quick shower as well to hopefully get rid of all the tension and irritation I still have built up in my body from all of the madness today. Luckily tomorrow I have the day off so I don't have to worry about going back there until the weekend. Although I'm working long shifts, at least I get to hang out with Jungkook again later on. 

I hear the door to my apartment open and close signaling his arrival, "Luna?" he calls out, trying to find me. "I'm in the shower, I'll be out in a sec" I yell hoping he can hear me over the running water. "Okay" he shouts back. I rush to finish up and walk out while still drying my hair with a towel, the atmosphere feeling so much lighter with him around. 

"You really didn't have to do this for me" I say walking over to him. "It's okay I wanted to, plus you looked tired so I didn't want you to have to worry about going out" he responds, bringing me in for a hug. He lets go after a while and nods towards the bathroom. 

"But I wanna eat first" I say pouting. "I don't care, go dry your hair. It's cold and I don't want you to be shivering all night because you're 'too lazy' to do it after we eat. Plus, I just brought some soup so it'll be easy to reheat. Now go!" he says raising his voice a bit at the end in an authoritative but playful manner. I roll my eyes and make my way back into the bathroom to do as he says not without protest again.

By the time I'm finished he has everything set out, ready and waiting for me. I look up at him in astonishment realizing he actually bought all the ingredients to make the soup and not just take out. 

"What's this? I thought you were just gonna pick up something quick, you didn't have to do all of this" I say, looking over all that he's brought. "I wanted to get you a few more things as well so it just seemed easier to do it this way" he says putting in the final ingredients and cutting the heat. 

He brings the pot over to the table and makes sure to place a hot plate underneath before setting it down and then stands back up looking over at my shocked expression with an amused smile. 

"So are you gonna sit down or what?" he teases. I roll my eyes as a result and sit down, him following after grabbing a bottle of soju. I glance up at him surprised yet again, "Looked like you needed it" he says, yet again amused with my reaction. "You know me so well" I say smiling back at him.

After we finish eating we move over to the couch and he decides to get down to business, "Okay what's wrong?" I look up at him confused as to where this is coming from. "What do you mean?" I question, genuinely confused. "You just look like you're hiding something. Like you're more on edge these days" he explains. 

The fact that he can clock these things about me before I even start to realize it is sometimes scary. Looking back I seem to realize that there has been a lot on my mind lately. 

"If there's something you need help with or if you want someone to talk to you know I'm here right?" he reassures me. 

"I didn't really realize that something might be wrong until you just mentioned it. I guess I've been subconsciously avoiding it" I start trying to sort through the many things that might be contributing to my change in demeanor. "And what would that be?" he questions, encouraging me to continue.

"I would say mainly money. I've been thinking about getting a new job or even just working two jobs because of how expensive things are with me living on my own. I'm already tired as is so juggling two job is just too much to think about let alone actually go through with. Just when I think I'm getting ahead and feeling like I could survive off of one, something goes wrong" I say verbally processing it all. 

"What's been going wrong? Is it your brother?" he questions, placing his hand on top of my knee. "No he's fine. Well, he's stable for the moment so that's all I could ask for right now. It's just, I don't know, I'm starting to slack off at work these days and I've been showing up late almost every other day and the only reason I still have this job is because my uncle is the owner" I say, hating that I have to admit this to him. 

"I just can't find the motivation to get up and get out of bed most days. Even when I do wake up on time I'm still dragging my feet until I'm out the door. Then as soon as I step outside the panic starts to settle in and I'm stressing trying to get there on time, knowing damn well I'll be late anyways" I continue and take a deep breath before continuing. 

"When I finally get there I'm anxious so it makes it difficult to focus and then I get in trouble on top of that and, I don't know. It's just been really difficult for me to stay afloat in all aspects of my life if I'm being honest" I let out. 

He pulls me closer and rests my head on his chest and I wrap my arms around his torso. "That's a lot. Do you how long you've been feeling like this?" he asks while rubbing my back, keeping his emotions level in an effort to keep me calm. 

"I guess I just never had the time to really stop and think about it. I mean I would've told you sooner but we've both got our own lives and struggles that we have to deal with. I don't have as many opportunities to spend time with you so when I do, I don't want to put a damper on the mood. I wanna have fun when we're together so it would make me feel selfish if I was to take away from that" I say feeling sad at the realization. 

"We made a promise to not grow apart and still be there for one another remember? We promised to tell each other everything" he argues. I pull away a bit to look up at him "But that was when we were kids and we practically saw each other everyday. We had plenty of time together so I didn't feel bad telling you when I was sad or stressed or angry or anything because it would almost feel weird not to" I explain. 

"I don't care about any of that" he says leaning towards me to brush a strand of hair behind my ear. "All I care about is you. You're my best friend and I want to be there for you, especially in those moments when you need someone to lean on. It's okay to ask for help, you don't have to be so strong all the time. Sometimes you need to feel weak and I want to be that person you can come to when you feel like that" he says cupping my face.

I close my eyes and lean into his touch, I start to feel tears welling up in my eyes so I go back to resting my head on his chest in an effort to hide them. "Thank you" I say, "For what?" he laughs. "For being my best friend. I just, I don't know what I'd do without you" I say bringing myself closer to him. 

"I don't know what I would do without you either. I need you to tell me when you're feeling like this okay?" he urges, "Okay" I agree, nodding into his chest. "Promise?" he says holding up his pinky finger. "Promise" I say as I wrap mine around his. 

"So what do you wanna do now?" I ask standing up and going to grab some more soju in an effort to break the ice and change the subject. "I don't mind, I'm here for you so whatever you wanna do is fine by me" he says. 

"Norebang?" I say with a smile on my face. "Norebang" he says smiling back. We spend the rest of the night singing, dancing and drinking in my apartment, helping me escape from reality for just a little bit. When I'm with him, it just feels like the rest of the world just fades away, like nothing else matters. It's just me and him against the world.

Once the last song plays we decide to sit down and take a breather while I start scouring the list to find the next one. "Luna" he says trying to get my attention. "Hm" is all I say in response still too focused on the task at hand. "I'm really glad I came" he admits while looking towards me with a fond smile. "Me too" I say mirroring his sentiment, taking my eyes off the screen. 

While I'm still looking over at him I can't help but see his eyes dart down to look at my lips and in turn I decide to glance down at his as well not knowing what kind of urge this might spark in him. He scoots closer to me and I can't help but widen my eyes in response. 

He settles next to me and I start to feel my heart rate pick up. He leans in and I shut my eyes, anxious as to what might happen but all I feel next is the remote being snatched out of my hand. I open my eyes realizing what just happened and reach out to take it back. 

"Hey! You said that I could pick the next song" I protest leaning up against him trying to grab it back as he stretches his arm out, making the remote out of my reach. "I changed my mind" he teases laughing at my effort. I in turn end up climbing onto his lap still trying to reach for the remote not really paying attention to what I'm doing and just focusing on my goal.

Then in a blink of an eye I find my back against the couch and Jungkook hovering over me. I can't help but feel confused with what his motive might be. "What are you doing?" I say feeling breathless. He looks down at me with a strong resolve and a mixed set  of emotions hiding in his expression but I can't quite tell what it is. 

I let my eyes wander, admiring each of his features. His rounded slightly hooded eyes, his strong brows, furrowed to match his intense gaze, his eyebrow piercing that he got over the summer, I never really liked them on guys but for some reason I can't help but think that it suits him well. 

Wandering down from there I take a second to glance at his scar which although he hates I can't help but adore since it's something that he's had since I met him and I wouldn't want to change a single thing about him. 

Ultimately my eyes wander and settle on his soft cupids bow, he hates how small his top lip looks but I think it's adorable and balances out with his full bottom lip but I tease him about it anyways and I end with staring at his lip rings for a second. Realizing moments later that we've been in this position for a while, I feel dumbfounded, not really know what to say or if I should say anything.

I glance up finally making eye contact with him again after taking in the view from his close proximity and I continue to let my question linger. 

"Can I kiss you?" he asks barely above a whisper. "I- what" I say feeling surprised by the request. "I said, can I kiss you?" he chuckles, repeating his question. "Why would you want to kiss me?" I question back. "I don't know, I just want to kiss you" he says settling on that explanation and not really wanting to elaborate on the subject further. 

I hesitate for a moment still not fully understanding how this happening and seeing my hesitation he backs off, giving me space to breathe, "It's okay just, just forget I said anything". 

Regaining a bit more awareness as to what just happened I sit up with a still perplexed expression and prod further. "No Jungkook why did you do that?" I say determined to get an answer. "I just, I don't know I've just been thinking about kissing you for a while and I wanted to see if you would let me" he says, looking down at his hands. Looking almost too embarrassed to meet my gaze. 

"But I'm your best friend, why would you wanna kiss me?" I say still not satisfied with his explanation. "Haven't you ever been curious about what it might be like to kiss me?" he questions finally looking up at me. "I-" I start not really knowing how to answer.

"It's okay you don't have to answer that" he says backing off the subject. "Well-" I start off after a period of silence. I can see his interest peek a bit hearing that I don't necessarily want to drop the subject. 

"It's just we're best friends right? So best friends shouldn't think about each other that way" I can see him start to wilt a bit, excitement starting to dwindle. "But I would be lying if I said I haven't thought about it before..." I say letting my voice get softer with each word. 

"So, would it be okay if I kiss you?" he questions trying to test the waters again. "But what would that mean for us?" I question not wanting to have a misunderstanding after the fact. "It doesn't necessarily have to mean anything. Unless you want it to" he finishes letting his voice trail off at the end. 

My heart starts beating faster and I feel apprehensive, still not sure if it's a good idea. One kiss won't hurt though, right? I think about it for a few more seconds before I respond "One kiss?". "One kiss" he responds. I then nod my head in approval and wait for him to make the next move. It was his idea so I want to see how he goes about carrying it out.

He turns towards me and studies my face making sure that I'm still okay with it. Once he sees that I haven't tried to back away he brings his hand up to cup the side of my face. I freeze a bit at the contact not really realizing the fact that this action is far more intimate than I had initially thought as he had done it so many times before. 

He takes his time and caresses my face looking at me with a kind of love that goes far beyond friendship. It scares me but at the same time I can't bring myself to look away. He looks down at my lips again seeing that I am unconsciously biting them, a habit of mine that he has grown to love. 

Leaning in he stops right before our noses touch and places his thumb on my bottom lip coaxing me to let it go and pushes his thumb between them in an effort to keep them apart. "Keep your mouth open for me okay?" he says in a deep tone that I have never heard from him before and I can't help but widen my eyes in shock at his request which in turn makes me widen my mouth even more. "Perfect" is all he says before placing his lips on mine.

It starts out slow and sweet, he feels how tense I am and takes that into account, leading the kiss and easing me into it. I unconsciously bring my hand up and place it on his chest trying to ground myself and I loosen up with every movement of our lips. 

He decides to deepen the kiss and I can feel him start to incorporate his tongue. I decided to let him do just that curious, as to what it might feel like. The kiss has been gentle so far so I can't help but want to see where it goes seeing that he wants more. 

He uses his tongue for a while and I can feel him retreat a bit almost coaxing me to use mine as well. I in turn follow his silent request and I get a new set of butterflies settling in my stomach. It takes a turn and gets a bit more intense when he guides me down into our previous position.

Tilting his head to the side he gets a bit more needy, wanting to switch up the pace. I start to feel a bit breathless and push back on his chest a bit to get his attention. He pull away and looks down at me in a questioning manner. "One kiss" is all I say and I can see him feel a bit disappointed but ultimately responds "One kiss". He sits up and I follow him and scoot back creating a bit more distance between us. 

After catching our breath for a bit I start to speak. "That was..." I say trailing off, not really knowing what to say. "Yeah" is all he says in response. He suddenly stands up and mumbles that he's going to the bathroom and gives me no time to respond before he goes through my bedroom and into the bathroom. 

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding the second he closes the door. 'What was that? Why- why did I let him kiss me? Why did I let him kiss me like that? He said one kiss so why did I let it continue?' All of these questions start circling my brain but I push away the ones that would tell me all the emotions it had brought on. Taking a few deep breaths I try to calm myself down and bring my heart rate back to normal.

He spends quite a while in there before I hear the toilet flush and the sink turn on. Once he comes out I notice how red and swollen his lips have become. Even his small upper lip seems a bit bigger now. Did I really kiss him that hard? Coming and sitting on the couch next to me he doesn't make an effort to say anything. We sit there for a second and I don't really know what to do now or where to go from here. 

"Do you wanna watch a movie?" he asks while grabbing the remote. "A movie sounds great" I rush to respond. "Okay great" he says turning on a movie that we've both seen before. Luckily he picked an action movie without any romance. I don't think watching anything to do with romance would be a smart decision right now. If anything, it would just make this whole situation seem even more awkward. 

Feeling myself start to doze off a bit as the movie progresses I can't help but fall into the habit of resting my head on his lap. Once I do I feel myself start to drift off disregarding the suspenseful nature of the current scene and surrendering to the feeling. 

I feel his legs tense up a bit at first contact but ultimately relaxes again after a second or two. He brings his hand up and starts tentatively running his fingers through my hair, ultimately coaxing me into a deeper slumber.

~~~~~~

As I watch Luna slowly fall asleep I can't help but feel glad at the fact that even though we might've seemed awkward after the kiss it seems like she still wants to go back to being normal. Seeing her fall into her habit of falling asleep in my lap just proves that fact. I can't help but feel a bit disappointed at that fact but I don't want to try and force anything on her.

Placing my arm around her back and the other under her knees I pick her up and carry her over to her bed and in the process she takes a hold of my shirt and shifts closer to me in an effort to steady herself while still half asleep making me smile. 

Once I place her down on the bed I still feel her strong grip on my shirt and as I go to place my hand on hers to encourage her to let go I hear her mumble "Stay with me" in her cute sleepy voice. I can't help but smile at her neediness "Always" is all I say in response knowing that she probably can't hear me but doing so all the same. I place my hand on hers and the warmth of my palm makes her loosen up a bit so I have a chance to release her hold on me.

I look at her once again admiring her from the close proximity and decide to place a featherlight kiss on her forehead. She stirs a bit in her sleep and flips over onto her side in an effort to make herself more comfortable. I laugh at her stubbornness, grabbing my clothes and heading into to the bathroom to get ready for bed. 

Once I'm done I slip into bed next to her and do my best not to wake her. She ends up sensing my presence in her unconscious state all the same and rests her head on my chest and wraps her arm around my torso. Laughing at her I shake my head and bring her closer to me. "Goodnight Luna" is all I say before slowly drifting off to sleep.

Waking up the next morning I realize Luna has already gotten up and I can smell the sent of bacon and egg which coaxes me out of bed. Doing my best to stay quiet I sneak up on her and wrap my arms around her waist like I always do. I hear her take in a sharp breath as her reaction to my sudden presence. 

"Good Morning" I say in her ear looking over her shoulder to see what she's doing. "Um good morning, breakfast is almost ready if you want to set the table" she says clearing her throat at the end. "Sure" is all I say in response before kissing her temple and going to do as she said. 

Once everything is ready and on the table we sit down and start eating. "So what's the occasion?" I ask trying to get her attention. She's been pretty silent since I came out and I can't help but feel a bit worried. 

"What do you mean? There's no special occasion" I raise my brow at her response and nod towards all the food she made. "Oh well I mean it's been a while since I made an American breakfast and you happened to bring all the ingredients so I figured I might as well make it for a change. Plus you made dinner last night so I thought it would only be fair if I-" "Luna everything looks great. Thank you" I say cutting off her incessant nervous rambling. She's cute when she gets nervous but I'll show her some mercy for right now.

"So what are your plans for today?" I ask while taking a bite of the waffles she made. "Oh nothing so far, I really haven't given it a lot of thought. This week has been pretty hectic as is so I figured I would just stay home. Do you have any plans today?" she asks reciprocating my interest. 

"I think some guys from my school wanted to meet up for drinks tonight or something like that. You should come! I've been meaning to introduce you to them for a while now but we just never had the chance" I say hoping she'll take me up on my offer. 

"I don't know Kook, I'm not really in the social kind of mood" I deflate a bit at her downright rejection but I understand she's been under a lot of stress lately. "Okay are you sure? I don't want you staying home alone and feeling sad all day" I say feeling a bit concerned. 

"I won't be sad all day don't worry. You coming over has put me in a good mood so don't worry. I've just got some stuff to take care of here at the house and I wanted to have a self care kind of day" she responds and I can see that she needs it based off of how exhausted she seems despite just waking up.

"Okay, I believe you. Just be sure to call me if you want me to come back. I really don't mind bailing on them if you need me" I say reassuring her. Seeing how close to tears she was last night and how she's acting this morning has got me worried. I might be overreacting but I just want to make sure she'll be okay and that things won't get bad again. 

"I should probably get going then so you can get started on that. I forgot I have an assignment due on Monday anyways so should probably get that out of the way before I go out tonight. Do you want me to help you clean up?" I question letting her know I have time to help her out. 

"No it's okay don't worry about it. I'll be cleaning all day so I don't mind doing this as well" she declines, granting me a genuine smile. "Alright well I'm gonna go get cleaned up and then I'll head out. Do you mind if I take a shower?" I question getting up and putting my plate and cup on the counter as well as placing the juice back in the fridge. 

"Yeah go ahead. You don't have to ask me stuff like that anymore Kook, my house is your house" she says laughing at me. "Hey just because you're my best friend doesn't mean that I can't be polite" I say ruffling her hair even though I know she hates it. "Tell that to Grey" she says while fixing her disheveled state. I laugh at her while walking over to her room to take that quick shower that I had mentioned before I go.

~~~~~~

While Jungkook is in the shower I let out a deep sigh and start cleaning up. I know I'm acting weird and I know he notices it but I'm just not sure how I should act after that kiss. I feel like it was more than just a kiss to him and I don't really know what to do with that information. 

After doing the dishes I head over to my room to get changed but then remember that Jungkook's still washing up. I decide to sit in the living room and wait for him to finish, taking a break from all the work I did this morning. 

I look up once he opens the door and my breath catches in my throat at the sight of him shirtless with wet hair. I've seen him like that countess times before but I can't help but feel flustered this morning. 

"Luna" he calls out for me. "Huh? What?" I say snapping myself back into reality. "I asked if I could borrow your hair dryer" he says with an amused smile on his face. "Oh uh yeah it's in the cabinet under the sink" I say looking away, embarrassed that he caught me low key checking him out. "Thanks" he responds with a slight chuckle at the end before going back into the bathroom and closing the door.

"Luna wake up wake up wake up! This Jungkook we're talking about okay, stop it!" I say aloud, careful to keep it quiet enough so he won't be able to hear. I shake my head trying to get rid of the image of Jungkook shirtless and just when I think I've managed to erase it for the time being he comes out without a shirt on again. 

"Hey I forgot to grab an extra shirt before I came here. Do you have one here that I could use?" he questions knowing that I steal his clothes half the time. I can't help it okay? He dresses well and we have similar styles, luckily he doesn't seem to mind it too much though. 

"Yeah there's probably something in the closet" I say, looking at my phone so I don't betray myself by gawking at him again. He nods and heads over and finds his grey 'Flare Up' shirt and slips it over his head. My eyes betray me and I end up checking him out from the back watching his tiny waist disappear under the baggy shirt. Man I would kill to have a figure like that man.

"Alright I'm gonna head out, call me if you need me okay?" he says reiterating his offers from earlier. I get up to walk him out, helping him grab whatever else he might've forgotten on the way there. "Okay I will" I respond with a soft smile. "And if you change your mind the offer still stands for coming out with us tonight, just let me know and I'll come get you". 

"Alright alright get going" I joke, "Don't you have an assignment to work on?" he looks puzzled for a second and then remembers the conversation we had earlier. "Yes I do! Thanks for reminding me. What would I do without you?" he says giving me a hug before bending down to put his shoes on. "Be bored and miserable?" I question laughing. 

"You're probably right, but at least I wouldn't have as many headaches" he says teasing me and booping me on the nose for good measure. "Hey!" I say pouting at his teasing. "Just kidding, all the headaches in the world are worth it if I get to keep you" he says wrapping me in a big embrace again before turning to grab the handle. "Thanks?" I question confused at whether I should take that as a compliment or not.

He laughs at my dumbfounded appearance and shouts a "Love you loser" while walking down the hall "See ya weirdo" I respond, laughing at his constant carefree nature. "What am I gonna do with this man?" is all I can say to myself as I feel another swirl of emotions building up inside of me.

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[idecidedtowriteig]

Sweet Nothings

Gar Logan x Reader

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff (tiny bit of angst)

I do not write NSFW

--------

His eyes were a dazzling honey brown, that you could just stare into for hours on end. His smile was ravishingly alluring, to you so at least, but you could see the others agree when they looked at him just the same– not much so as in love– but more so in delight. He cheered everyone up, and you were totally head over heels for him, not that you would admit it anyway– only in the deepest depths of your heart. Or so you thought– but Rachel had accidentally read your mind once– of how much you truly loved and appreciated Gar, so much so that they secretly shipped you and Gar together. 

It was hard for Rachel to not confess what they knew to you and squeal in glee about how cute you and Gar would be together. However, all Rachel had to do– was sit back, relax and wait for the magic of fate to happen (or so help her, Trigon). Fate decided to play its cards for once, and give Rachel, Y/n, and Gar the thing they had all been hoping for…

First it came with a handwritten note…

This had been after Y/n had a hard enough day that they broke down crying in front of everyone. Everything just seemed to go wrong that day, Red Hood and Crane (or the Craniac and Y/n liked to call him) attacked. Just everything seemed to fall apart– and no matter what Y/n did, they thought it was never good enough. But Gar thought it was enough. Dick thought it was enough, Rachel, Donna, Kori, and the others did too. The Titans’ all had each other's back. 

Dick did try to give some words of encouragement– but not without a bit of awkwardness- since it was hard for him to express his emotions himself. Kori gave a great pep talk, Blackfire had tried her best to cheer you up- in her own rigid stiff way– shared about how she conquered her enemies. Rachel talked some, trying to comfort you, but not really knowing how to do that best. Gar felt bad, and didn’t know what to do exactly, either…. So, he decided to leave you a note… 

“Dear Y/n,

I think you did great today, and so does the rest of the team.

 You are one of the sweetest people on this team, and it really 

hurt to see you cry today. I know the Titan's work can be hard,

 it also gets to my mind sometimes. The Jason thing does too, and it hurts how he just left us like that… 

But I want you to know, we’ve all got your back! 

P.S. Also, meet me in the Kitchen later (I'll text you when) I have a surprise!”

-BB (Gar) :)

—

9:00 PM

Beast Boy: I have the surprise ready! :) 

Y/n: I’m on my way :)

—-

Y/n soon entered the kitchen looking around, when they saw a paper sack labeled, "Gotham's Custard & Ice Creamery”' in bold pink and blue letters. They let out a big smile, as Gar grinned happily, “Rachel told me this was your favorite place! And I was trying to find a way to cheer you up…” He blushes a little bit, eyes meeting yours, but then looking bashfully off to the side. 

You beamed in disbelief, “Gar…” you said, smiling and opening the sack to see your favorite ice cream flavor. You smile, “You didn’t have to!” You say hugging him on instinct. Gar smiles delightedly, hugging back, “Well, I knew you just had a hard day….” He laughs sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. 

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you….” He mumbles– but not incoherently to you. 

Then it came with a little trinket of your favorite animal….

You heard a soft knock on your door, soon opening it to see Gar holding a little trinket of your favorite animal. You smiled, wondering for a second why he brought it here, but happy to see him explain– or ramble about why. 

Gar beams happily, “So I saw this at an antique shop I passed by! And isn’t it the cutest thing? It was only 5 dollars and I thought it might make your day better. Plus I know it's your favorite animal, I couldn’t resist.” He laughs sheepishly, handing you the small trinket. 

You stared at it happily and hugged him, “Man, I’m really going to have to start buying you stuff too.” You tease. 

Gar smiles, “On the house?” He laughs. 

At last, it came with a beautiful red rose…

Gar smiles, holding out a rose, “Look at this! It almost matches the color of your– lips… Not to be weird or anything!– Anyway, it just looks… pretty like you…” He grins, handing the rose to you– you noticed he had cut off the thorns beforehand.  Gar smiles, “I uh– also have something to ask you. I’m sorry if this makes everything weird….” He laughs nervously. 

His face soon turns a light shade of pink as he gulps, then asks you confidently, “Y/n… will you go on a date with me? I mean, would you uhh… possibly?” You smiled at his cute antics and cupped his face gently with your hand, “Of course, Gar! You mean the world to me!” 

Rachel totally wasn’t watching you from the window and fangirling….. Totally not… 

[copingmechanizm]

Oh, my car smells like chocolate

(modern au steddie)

*the title comes from "chocolate" by The 1975*

Eddie Munson is a man of many talents. He's pretty decent at singing, his guitar skills are at least star quality and he can fix any minor fault around the house. He even found out he's capable of organizing all kinds of events, which he chose to be his job after scraping through college. What he's not good at though is baking and keeping his mouth shut. So when Chrissy, who just begun to work with him few weeks ago, told him in distress that the bakery which was supposed to provide a cake for Saturday's event cancelled last minute, Eddie said that he'll do it then. He. Baking a fucking cake. Of course he wouldn't do it! The only thing he even attempted to bake was chocolate chip cookies and that was a disaster. His kitchen barely survived. So he's afraid to even think what would happen if he'd try to bake a full on cake.

Now then he has two options. Number one: he'll go to every bakery in town to try to get a two store customized cake for at least fifty people. He's ready to beg for it if needed. Number two: he'll admit his idiocy and tell Chrissy he won't bring any cake for Saturday. He's sure after shooting disappointed look his way she would figure something out. The choice was simple. Of course he chose option number one.

After spending yesterday's evening and half of today searching for a kind bakery, he's pretty close to admit his defeat. Everywhere he went he got the same answer: no one will take his order at such a short notice. So now he got less than 24 hours to bring the promised cake to the venue with no idea how to do that. He's slowly leaning into choosing option number two when his eyes catch on the sigh across the street saying "King Steve's Bakery". Well, worth a try even if the shop seems small and he doesn't have much hope left.

He enters and he's welcomed by cosy interior, all wood and stone, with many mismatched pieces of art stuffed around the walls. No one appears to be here at the moment. He gets closer to the counter, where there's all kinds of baked goods displayed. Eddie has to admit all here looks delicious. He can't get distracted though. He has another fight this day ahead of him. He rings the small bell, similar to the ones at the hotel receptions, and waits. Soon, though the doors leading to the back, comes the most beautiful man Eddie has ever saw. Sharp jaw, soft blue eyes, hair that looked like professionaly styled and a splatter of moles and freckles. Not to mention clearly athletic body with muscular arms accented by fitted polo shirt. The apron with a crown he has on weirdly gives him a sort of gentle aura. The name tag says Steve so that's probably the baker's name. He dust his hands from what looks like a flour and with a charming smile openes those perfectly shaped mouth.

"What can I do for you, beautiful?"

Is it just Eddie or it bacame suddenly hot in here?

"I...um... I- I mean, I want to buy a cake". Fucking hell he couldn't embarrass himself more, could he?

"Well, you're in right place then." The baker softly chuckled, looking right at Eddie. "So what you're exactly looking for? You want something ready or a custom made one?"

"Right, yes, I want a custom made, two store for fifty people. Best if it's floral related but honestly right now I'll take anything." The event is for some florist association and ideally it's supposed to picture some kind of flower that's on their logo but he thinks at this rate they're lucky if they get anything at all. He looks hopefully at his potential savior who returns the look with raised eyebrows.

"Two store you say? That's a helluva lot of work. When's the deadline?" And there, that's when Eddie's last chance will shatter to pieces.

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?! Dude that's a really short time you give me. This place is small but we do have other clients, you know?" Shit, fuck and other cursed words in this language. Not only he won't get the cake but also he somehow managed to piss off the perfect man.

"Yes! Yes I know, really. It's just- I'm like desperate. I'm ready to beg." Especially to you. "Tomorrow's this big event and the bakery cancelled last minute and I promised I'll do it but I couldn't bake to save my life and I probably visited every bakery in this shit town and you're my last chance." He finished lamely very much aware he started rumbling. Steve stared at him through his monologue looking more and more amused with every word. Finally, after what felt like eternity of silence filled with fast beating of Eddie's heart, he speaks out sealing his fate.

"Alright. I'll do it." What? Did he hear right? Does miracles truly exist? "But." Ah. There it is. " You'll have to help me."

"WHAT? Did you not hear when I said I can't bake???" He looked at confident face of the baker like he was crazy. He can't be serious, right? RIGHT??

"Yes I heard. I also heard that you promised that you'll be the one making it so it's a compromise. Don't worry, I'll do the most of work." That doesn't make Eddie worry any less. "So? Tonight at seven I'll meet you here? I'll close up and we'll be ready to bake." This bastard has the guts to grin at Eddie self-satisfied like he didn't just sentenced his bakery to die in flames. But alas, he doesn't have much of a choice. He won't find anything better and if all he has to do is sit and watch as Steve works his magic, maybe occasionally mix something? then deal.

"Deal. I'll meet you tonight. But don't blame me if by tomorrow you won't have a place to work at." Steve laughed, and oh he even has a perfect laught, making Eddie a blushing virgin again.

"Deal. Till tonight, beautiful boy."

"Fuck- I mean- my name's Eddie." This man will kill him someday if he won't die in the fire tonight.

"Alright, Eddie. See you." His name has never sounded so beautiful.

"Right, see you." He choked out and one last time looked into those eyes, now full of mirth and amusement. He quickly walked out so he wouldn't change his mind and went back to his place. He looked at the clock. A little past two. So he has three hours to get ready and mentally prepare himself for tonight's disaster. Heaven and hell help him.

[chocoadepti]

Nicola Drama CD Vol. 1 - Epilogo del 1927

This is an extremely rough translation, mainly mtl'd. Corrections more than welcome!!

That's a lot of people.

Forty thousand people...no, how many hundreds of thousands? It was a good thing I saved a hotel room. As I expected, I didn't want to join that crowd.

I had heard that New Year's Eve in New York is celebrated in Times Square rather than Trinity Church, but it was more than I expected.

The neon signs lit up the city more than usual, making it look white and shiny. It's so beautiful when you look down from a high place like this. But it's a shame that the night sky is so hazy, the beauty of the stars was better back in our hometown.

How is it, do you miss Burlone?

I don't think I'm the nostalgic type, but lately I've been thinking about that town a lot.

The street corner where I met you and the bar we used to go, the open-air restaurant in Veleno we passed by on a date, the shopping streets of Creta, and the Christmas Eve when we looked out over the square. ((Not quite sure about this part!))

I wonder why, there have been my share of bad times, but all I can remember are the good memories. And most of them are memories of you.

I hope one day, I don't know how many years or decades it will be, I'll have the chance to go back.

You see, for example, when passenger planes become stable enough to cross the Atlantic, it will be much easier and simpler to travel between America and Italy than it is now.

Ah, the Ball Drop. The countdown to the new year has begun. Less than a minute to 1928.

Yeah, this latest technology is pretty amazing. I heard they used a hundred bulbs in the Times Square Ball.

How do you like this kind of lively New Year's Eve? We haven't spent much time in church so far, but it's a good thing we went to the evening mass, so we were able to show our sincerity to God, right? ((Not sure about this part!!))

Here it seems to be the norm to do the ceremonies early and then have festivities at night with friends. I heard that New Year's Eve has become the mainstream, though I suppose it depends on the religious sect. ((Also not sure!!))

Oh, look, it's going to fall soon.

Five, Four, Three, Two, One

Here it comes. A new year has begun, 1928.

I'm glad to be here with you, my precious one, at this moment.

You're so cute too. I'm sure my wife will be just as cute next year and beyond.

I am glad that we were able to spend our first New Year's alone together after we got married.

After a few years, when it becomes normal for us to spend time together, it would be nice to invite not only family but also friends and have a party with everyone.

But that's a long way off. For now, I want to have you all to myself at least while we are newlyweds.

Eh, you also feel the same way?

Ah, I'm not doubting that you think so too, but you're being unusually honest, so I wondered what was wrong. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to question (??) you.

I was just happy and a little surprised.

I'm sorry.

Will you forgive me?

Grazie.

I think we've been out here too long, your cheeks are getting all cold. (??)

No, I'm not okay because you're so cold (??), so let's go back inside.

Come here, let's get you warmed up. I guess I'm colder than I thought too. It really does seem to get freezing cold in the winter here.

Yeah, I don't like the heat or the cold to begin with, but the reason I don't like winter is because it reminds me of so many things.

Ah, that's right, I've never talked about it with you. It was about 10 years ago now, I had spent winter in the Alps. I was stationed on the Italian Front.

I never regretted that choice. It was my own decision and I feel I did my duty. To paraphrase you, even if I could rewind time, I would make the same choice.

So many of my comrades died in that place, so many of them took up arms to protect their country, and many of them were broken by fear, crying to see their families and loved ones, but their tears soon froze and many of them died with regrets because they could do nothing about it. ((??))

Compared to them, I was very lucky. I could return to my hometown without losing anything. I still had two arms and both my legs were still connected.

It was good to return to my life (?), and the first thing I thought about was what to do with the rest of my life that I hadn't used up. But I didn't think too much about it. I knew what I wanted a long time ago, and I thought I would use my life for someone else.

I wanted to die protecting someone or something, just like my comrades.

It's not that I wanted to die, it's just that I've long since forgotten how strongly I wanted to not die. I'm willing to die to achieve my goals, and I've always been okay with that.

I'm sorry to tell you this, but listen, it's not like that anymore.

I'm Mafia, and I'm always in danger. The more power my Family gains, the more people will try to kill us. There are so many mafiosos in this city, and they are always looking for opportunities to take down other organizations.

We have left Burlone and arrived in New York, but I am sure that tough times will continue to occur.

Still, I won't die. No matter what, I won't die and leave you alone under any circumstances, I swear to God.

Ah, but it doesn't sound very credible for me to swear to God after what I did, does it?

Then, I'll swear to you, who is more important than God.

I will survive, even if I have to slurp up muddy water. Definitely.

I have lived my whole life for someone else. For my mother, for my country, for Dante, for my Family. I was told to do so, or I was forced to do so, and I thought it was my role to do so.

Now, I understand. Just like Dante, I was also bound to my blood for so long.

But now I'm free. You broke my cage, and now I just honestly want to be with you, to do this not because of someone else, but from my own desire. This is my wish, and no one else's. I want to live for my own sake, to make my own wish come true. I'm sorry that I couldn't say that I'll live for you. I'm being selfish and doing what I want for myself. (?? I'm not very sure about this part!))

Eh, you're saying that it's only natural? That I'm not being selfish.

That's why I fell in love with you/That's why I'm crazy about you. (Two different interpretations here lol)

I love you, my precious. Thank you.

If you were to live for me, then of course I'd be happy. But, if you were to live for yourself, and then you want to be with me, and stay by my side, then I'll be more than happy.

That's right, Signorina, how do you want to spend your first day of the year? If you want to get up early and go out, then you may need to go to bed. Or do you want to stay up late until the sun rises? Of course, if you want to chat then I'm also welcome to that.

We can talk while lounging in bed, but there may not be much of a conversation. Ah, I'm not trying to distract you, but, you see, I know myself pretty well.

Well, why don't we sit on the couch and chat, then that way I'm sure I won't disregard your wishes.

How about I make you something warm? Like hot milk?

Just like that night we met, I took your shaking hand and tucked you in. I was hoping to get you to let your guard down and maybe even fall in love with me, but I never thought that I would be the one to fall. I thought I had prepared for that quite carefully.

You see, Sister Sophia came to the house the next day and asked me to take care of you here, right? Actually, I had arranged that in advance.

You were very surprised at that time, weren't you? You never would have thought that and experienced and serious Sister would ask such a favor from the Mafia.

I told her in advance that it was necessary for your safety. I though that she(you?) would be hesitant to do so, and more than anything, I thought she(you?) would be scared. I asked her to make it a proposal from the Sisters.

I was planning a lot of things like this without you seeing it.

Well, I was betrayed by my own heart, which should have been the easiest to control.

All right, sit back and wait for me to make it soon. Ah, you're going to follow me? You're being more honest and sweet tonight than usual. How cute. How about we skip talking and go to bed instead?

I'm joking, I'm joking!

But we can't stay awake forever, so we'll go to bed sooner or later, right? If you're sleepy then, I'll caress your cheek and thank you for being my wife, kiss you softly and go to sleep with you. But if we go to bed and your eyes are still wide open and you're still acting sweet like this, then I'll live up to your expectations. It's ok to sleep in until afternoon tomorrow, after all there's no butler here to get mad at me.

My hot milk is a recipe that Giulia taught me. I heat it slowly over low heat like this. The trick is to keep stirring without boiling.

Can you pass me the mugs? Grazie.

Honey and cinnamon are the finishing touches.

Here you go, Signorina, be careful not to burn your tongue.

Maybe a bit too sweet. I'm glad you like it, your smile is the best reward of all.

Do you remember when I said it was enough for me to have a lovely wife at home?

That was my true feeling at the time. You didn't need to go out, do housework, or work, I just wanted you to be at home waiting for me to come home. I didn't want anything more than that, I was satisfied just by your presence.

But things are a little different now.

I want to have you all to myself, but I don't want to lock you away.

The woman I fell in love with is probably not the type of person who likes to stay at home, and even if she says she doesn't have to do anything, she should find something she can do and make an effort. (??)

I like that about you.

I want you to live your life the way you do.

Of course, if you want to stay at home all the time, that's fine. Even if you are just lounging in bed every day, my love for you will not change. But if you want to cook, or clean, or whatever else, then I'll convince Bartolo. He's a bit of a pain, but I can handle it.

Just because you're my wife doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to the rules that impose obligations or don't give rights. (??)

That's a bad tradition.

If you want to go out and find something you want to do and work hard to make it happen, then I'll support you. Of course I have my concerns, because I think it's best for you to stay home so you're not involved in anything dangerous or put in harm's way.

And I know that starting something new can be exhausting, painful, and hurtful.

I used to want to keep you away from all that, but that's my own ego, and if I really love you, then I shouldn't blindfold you, right?

I want you to see the world with your own eyes./ I must allow you to see the world with your own eyes. ((?? Unsure if this one too))

I've grown up a bit in the past year to be able to think this way, don't you think?

If you start something new and still have a hard time, then I will comfort you a lot. I will encourage you until you feel better and help you until the problem is solved. And afterwards I'll make you something like this, hot milk or whatever you like, hold you close until the tears stop, and go to sleep with you.

Then when morning comes, the two of us can work together again.

Instead of leaning on one person, let's take each other's hand and live together forever, supporting each other even when trials sometimes come our way.

You have always faced me with sincerity.

I will look straight back at you and respond to that that sincerity with my own.

Hey, my precious, I believe in your heart and mind.

So can you believe in me too? There is no room for hypocrisy in my feelings for you.

I will always be with you this year, next year, and no matter how many years pass, I will protect you no matter what happens.

I will continue to love you the best I can.

So don't ever leave me.

Please love me.

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 19

"So how's the shop doing?" Dad asks as we eat lunch.

"Uh, it's pretty good. Yeah, we get a lot of regulars. It's kind of become a little family."

"Sometimes we have music nights and Momma has lots of fun. But then she makes me leave once people get too excited," Syd cuts in.

"Music nights, huh? Is that really an appropriate environment for a five year old?" my dad asks, side eyeing me.

"It's perfectly appropriate for her. And you have no right to question my parenting so stay out of it," I reply coldly.

He clears his throat and forces a quiet apology.

My phone dings and I check it under the table as Syd and my father start up a small conversation.

Flo: I just landed. Ugh, why is it so hot?? How's it going with your dad?

Me: Oh shut up and enjoy the weather. It's tense but at least he and Syd are getting along.

Flo: Remember that you don't have to keep him around just because of Syd. Your feelings matter just as much.

I bite the inside of my cheek as I read her message again. What if she's right? What if it would be better to just cut him out of my life? But what if that hurts Syd and-

"Momma, are you okay? Did you get a text from Florence?"

"I'm fine, baby. Yeah, her flight just landed."

"Who's Florence?" my father asks curiously.

"Just a friend of ours," I say vaguely.

"Right."

The remainder of lunch is spent drowning in thick silence.

-

"Ash, he's here. My dad is here. I can't fucking stand this," I whisper in the phone, hiding out in my bedroom.

"What? Why is that douchebag here? I'll kill him. I swear to god, I'll come over and kick his ass right now."

"No, Ash, you can't kill him. He's still Syd's grandfather, which is the only reason I told him he could come visit."

She's silent for a moment. "Are you okay? I know it can be a lot," she says gently.

"I'm fine, I guess. I just want to get this over with already. He's not leaving until Saturday."

"He'll be gone before you know it, okay? And I swear to god, Y/N, if he says anything to you about Mark, you better tell me so I can kill him," Ash says in a dangerously low voice.

"You'll be my first call," I promise.

- A sharp knock echoes through the apartment, awaking me from my sleep. It's the middle of the night? Who the hell is at my apartment?

I tiptoe through the living room and pull open the front door. "Flo? What are you doing here? I thought you were in LA."

"I came back. I needed to talk to you. Y/N, I know we've been dancing around this but I can't stop thinking about you." Her eyes are glimmering with hope and her face is lit up with passion as she speaks. "I know it's late but I couldn't wait until morning. I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to hold you and love you and kiss you. So will you please let me kiss you?"

"I..." I don't know what to say, so I just nod dumbly. She takes two confident steps forward and grabs the collar of my shirt, pulling my lips into hers. Her lips are cold but soon warm up against my own. She grabs my waist and spins me around, pinning me up against the wall. Her tongue slips into my mouth and I moan quietly.

"Fuck, Y/N. You have no idea how long I've wanted this," she mumbles against my lips.

"Stop talking and kiss me," I demand. She grabs the underside of my thighs and hoists me up, holding my legs around her waist.

"God, I can't wait to make you-"

She's cut off by faint yelling and my eyes flutter open. "Momma, get up! I want pancakes!"

"What?" I mumble in confusion, sitting up and looking around my bedroom. It was a dream. It was a fucking dream.

"Can we have pancakes please?" Syd asks again.

"Uh, yeah, sure. Just let me take a quick shower first."

"Okay fine. I'll get the stuff out." She skips into the kitchen and I sigh into the empty bedroom. I stumble into the bathroom and flick on the light. Noticing the bright red flush coating my cheeks, I flip off my reflection and mumble "Get it together."

When I come out of the bathroom, Syd and my father are talking in the kitchen.

"Grandpa, tell me more about my dad please."

"Well, his name is Mark, and he used to play football. He was the best quarterback in the state." Anger quickly boils up in my chest at their conversation. Why the fuck is he talking about him? "And I'm not sure how your mother knew him, but I'm glad she did because-"

"Dad," I cut him off. "What are you doing?"

"I was just telling Syd about her dad. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You know exactly what's wrong. Syd, can you go play in your room for a minute, please?"

"But I don't wanna," she grumbles.

"Syd, go." She sighs, but trudges to her room.

"You have no right. You have no right to talk to her about her father or anything, for that matter. It is up to me, her mother, what I tell her and I've chosen to not tell her about that poor excuse for a human. So either learn to shut up, or leave. Okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry. I just don't get why you don't want to tell her about him. He's a good guy, Y/N. I thought we were over all this nonsense."

My heart nearly stops in my chest. I scoff, letting out a breathy laugh of anger. Seeing his face, looking the same as it did when he threw me out, I give up. I give up on him. "Get out," I tell him.

"What?"

"Get the fuck out. I don't want you around my kid."

[behindtheireyes]

The past few weeks have been pretty stressful and it really has killed any desire to write. I'll put everything under a read more so it doesn't clog up the dash.

So, as many of you know I went back to my old job that let me go last year around the end of February even though most of the people (mainly family) in my everyday life were against it. I mainly went back because my old store manager asked me too and promised me enough hours to make my bills and got me a wage that was only a few dollars less than I was making before the restructuring of 2023. While it wasn't enough to get out on my own it was enough so I could keep out of debt and still have some fun every now and then.

Everything was settling down and going great until the middle of March when my oldest and best friend got her heart broken by a gaslighting asshole but that's her story to tell. I have been on best friend duty trying to keep her mind off things while trying to gently steer her towards making better choices but this fucker really has his claws into my girl.

April/May things were really starting to calm down and I was still, kinda, writing and talking to people at this point. Then in the middle of May my store manager gave notice that she was leaving and going to open a new Micheal's in another town. She promised me that as soon as they were hiring she'd let me know so I could apply and work full time again.

I fully intended to take her up on this offer but things kinda changed.

At the start of June my old assistant manager got the store manager spot so his job opened up. I applied, as did our Inventory Coordinator, for the newly vacant Assistant spot and honestly thought that there was no way in hell I'd get it but it was good interview experience for when the Micheal's job opened up. I figured there was nothing to lose so why not go for it?

I fucking got it.

So you think I'd be less stressed now that I was full time making $20/an hour right? Especially since it was doing stuff that I'd pretty much been doing for the last few years?

Well, it was until the IC who didn't get the job gave their notice and said they'd think about staying if they got a sizable raise. My district manager doesn't beg people to stay and her reaction was pretty much, "Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!" so since my IC's power play failed and they left I've been pretty much doing the part of her job that my store manager isn't doing. On my days off I barely have the energy to do laundry or go food shopping let alone write.

Add on to that there's been some stress with a couple people on my dash and someone that I genuinely considered a friend dropped me after I said I couldn't loan them a hundred plus dollars before I even got my first paycheck. I'm the type of person that will give you the shirt off my back if you need it but I also needed what little cash I had to get to and from work.

Since then any time I've really tried to write, either here of discord, my brain just fucking shuts down so I've just been lurking and kinda hiding from all but one or two people. I'm hoping after things calm down at work after I do my training week at another store, which I really don't need but it's policy I do it, I can get out of my head about writing.

Or at least manage my stress better and feel less horrible about being here than I do.

[dame-zoom-a-lot]

I've been feeling a lot of stuff at work and that turned into a Ronance fic that's only mildly not a total self-insert. A03 link here.

Excerpt after the cut. If you're a nurse or a tech worker and I got stuff wrong, please yell at me and I'll maybe fix it

"Dude, what the fuck?! You can't lock me out of my own house!" Robin shrieks at Steve through the door crack.

"Sorry Robs, Baph and I are having a guy's night. No girls allowed."

Baphomet peeks at her and meows.

"Yes, my lord. She should go to that bookstore and have a nice pastry."

"Please Steve, at least let me stash my bag. It's so heavy." Robin whines.

"Hmmm...request received." Steve steps back. Robin can see him put his hands on his hips. "My lord? Your verdict?" Steve leans over to Baphomet who trills. Steve gets his face right up to the small opening with a shit eating grin. "Nope," he says, popping the p. "See you in.... ninety minutes!"

Robin flails. Steve shuts the door in her face. She can hear him dragging something behind the door, as if she'd have the strength to try to break it in. Robin is exhausted . She hangs around for a bit, hoping Steve would change his mind, but she eventually leaves the apartment and heads towards the bookshop. Annoyingly, walking in a direction that's not to her office does lighten the tight coil around her chest. Stupid bitchy Steve. How dare he be right.

Robin goes into the bookstore determined to have a miserable time. But it's beautiful. The shop smells like pastries and paper. There's soft, inviting couches and a shelf highlighting queer sci-fi. It looks like there's going to be an event soon. There's folding chairs in the middle of the store. A gorgeous woman with soft curls, a pointy jaw, and large brown eyes sits on a comfy chair facing the folding chairs. She's talking to an older woman wearing the store's t-shirt. The older woman glances at Robin. "Are you here for the signing?" She asks. Her name tag says Joyce.

Robin opens her mouth to say no, that she just came in to browse and maybe get a pastry. But the other woman looks so hopeful that Robin decides that yes, she's going to buy whatever book this woman wrote, get it signed, and read it. And she's going to like it.

"Yes!" Robin says, picking up one of the books around the folding chairs. It's a romance set in an Antarctic expedition. Oh no, it looks horrible at a glance. But don't judge a book by its cover right? "Hope I'm not too early," Robin says brightly. The woman raises a perfect eyebrow. She stares at Robin. Her beautiful brown eyes pierce into Robin's soul.

The woman finally speaks. "The signing 'started'," she makes finger quotes, "ten minutes ago."

She smiles. "And that's not my book."

Shit.

"Oh, oh, sorry err..."

The woman laughs hysterically, folding into herself. She's loud. She's so tiny that Robin expected everything else about her to also be tiny and delicate. But she laughs a belly laugh, a loud, a little honky. Robin would happily listen to it all day.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to give you a hard time. It's my bad anyway for scheduling on a weekday evening. I thought at least some of the people who RSVP'd would show up," the woman says. "You don't have to feel obligated to stick around. I'll live."

Joyce tuts. "People are so flaky these days. What were you actually here for?"

Heat creeps up Robin's face. "I was, well, I've been really sad recently. And my roommate slash ex -best friend got sick of my moping and kicked me out." The woman with the curls nods sympathetically. "He said I should check out this store since I used to like reading before I got my soul sucked out of me? And now I'm here... and I've never met an actual author before in person! So I figured it would be nice to talk to her...herself? Whatever book it is that she wrote?" She can feel flames on her face. "And...I am saying too much and I should just go sit in that corner and order pastries and your book and leave you both alone for the rest of time." Robin finishes with a mumble.

The woman settles back into her chair like it's a throne, head high. "And what kind of books did you use to like?" She asks with a sharp smile that makes Robin's heart skip a beat.

"Oh, um..." damn, did she like things anymore? "I guess...I liked books on animal behavior. I'm a big fan of Terry Pratchett....I also used to be really into, erm, books about fraud? I must have read the 'Smartest People In The Room', and 'When Genius Failed', at least three times each," Robin corrects herself even though she's been told no one cares. "Wait no, they're not both about fraud. Corporate hubris then. Corporate hubris." Robin knows that no one actually wants this much detail. But the way the woman looks at her makes her feel flustered, not in a bad way, but enough that she can't quash her instinct to say anything and everything.

Robin feels stuck in place, caught in the void of the other woman's gaze. She smiles, kindly this time. "Well, it's my lucky day then. My book fits one of those categories. It's that one next to the novel you picked out initially."

So Robin had had a 50% chance of successfully lying and she missed it because she has the worst luck and nothing happens the way she wants. Or maybe this was a good thing? If she hadn't been caught in a lie, she wouldn't have been able to hear the other woman laugh. Robin grabs the other book. The back says something about space exploration and environmental destruction. Oh, perfect. Animals and corporate hubris. The author's name is in small print at the bottom. Nancy Wheeler.

"Do you want to come a little closer?" Nancy asks. "I can tell you about the book so you can decide if you really want it. I don't want you to feel pressured to buy anything just because I'm here."

"Erp, yeah! Yeah. Of course." Robin grabs a folding chair and drags it over to Nancy's throne, no, chair, and trips. Nancy shoots up and grabs at Robin to help her stay upright. Robin grabs the offered arm. It's very thin but firm, nearly all lean muscle. Nancy helps her move the folding chair so they're sitting as close as possible.

[blueskiestarot]

Hi angel! How have you been? Do you think readings will be open any time soon? thank you ♥

Hi! I've been okay, just busy. I'm not sure, honestly. I'm sorry. I hope you can understand. I've just gotten to a place where it's just not worth it to keep free readings open indefinitely or for long periods of time. I have a full time job and paid readings that take up most of my time. Plus, I have to make content for my social media (like the pick a pile readings). Also, when I do have free readings, they are a bit overwhelming because of the amount of requests I get in just a few hours. It's reached a point where it's very hard for me to keep up with it and it's very draining for me. Plus, I have many and I mean MANY people who are just plain rude to me when they don't get the answer they want or who take advantage of the free readings and ask a million questions (even on anon, I can usually tell who is asking multiple questions, in case you are wondering). I'll still do free readings from time to time as a treat/thank you to you all because I am thankful for you guys for being here and supporting me but it won't be a regular thing or something I keep open for long periods of time. I was thinking like maybe a once a month type of thing. I'll make a post when I do open up free readings. Of course, I'll still continue to post the pick a pile readings. Those are significantly less draining for me, so I'm trying to post a new one daily or at least, every other day.

For those that don't know, I do have an online shop where you can purchase a reading if you are interested. They are very affordable (most of them are under $20 and a good portion of them are under $10) and they are much more in-depth than the free readings (most, if not all of them take me over an hour to complete). You can visit my shop here if you are interested!

Thank you for asking though, anon! I really appreciate your support and patience with me! I hope you can understand where I'm coming from. 🩵 Love, Tara

[jessmalia]

heartless | 12. separated

pairing: henry mills x oc a/n: hope you enjoy and please tell me what you thought! warnings: people mention bad parents??? wordcount: 1075

<<prev || masterlist || next>>

Max's eyes narrowed on the cup in Henry's hands as she sat down on the other side of Grannys' table. "You're drinking coffee," she said.

  Henry froze. Slowly straightening his posture, he met her gaze, and even though what Max had said wasn't a question, he still responded to it as if it was one. "No, I'm not."

  Max's eyebrow rose, unimpressed by his sad excuse for a lie. "You're trying to stay up," she said. "Because of the nightmares."

  Henry gave a soft nod, looking down at the cup in his hands. Max sighed, running her hands through her hair. This was Henry's area of expertise, not hers (at least... not anymore), but she needed to do her best for him.

  "You don't have to be," she said intently, reaching out to grab the boy's hand. "Because I'll be there, remember? I'll be right by your side when you wake up and we can talk about them. Just like you did for me with my nightmares."

  Henry perked up. "Does that mean your nightmares have gone away?"

  "Yeah," said Max with a smile, hoping that the dark circles under her eyes didn't give her away. 

–––

Henry gasped as his eyes shot open. "They're alive! They're alive!" he shouted as he sat up, waking the others up. 

  "Who are?" Max put her hand on Henry's shoulder as David and Regina blinked the sleep out of their eyes. 

  "My mom and Snow!"

  David grinned when he heard him. The news really seemed to wake him up. "I told you, kid! I told ya!"

  "But was it that woman you saw? Did she tell you this?" Regina asked, leaning over to him from her chair.

  Henry nodded. "Her name's Aurora. She said they had a way home, but there's someone in their way. Someone they need us to help them stop. Someone only Mr. Gold knows how to defeat."

  "Who?" Regina asked again. 

  Henry stopped for a second, taking a glance at Max before saying, "Your mother." 

–––

Henry was laying in a small bed in the backroom of Rumpelstiltskin's shop, planning to go back into the literal house of nightmares so he could tell Aurora how to defeat Cora. Max sat in a chair beside him, keeping watch, like always. She needed to protect him. No one else could. 

  "I brought your blanket from your bedroom back home," said Regina softly as she entered the room. She draped the blanket over Henry.

  "Thanks," he muttered, before glancing towards Rumpelstiltskin. "So, Cora, she's pretty powerful?"

  "Yes. But, uh, not as powerful as I am."

  Regina scoffed. "Debatable."

  "Actually, no. It's not," he rebutted, thick-skinned as ever. 

  Max ignored them, instead turning to Henry. "You sure you okay to do this, kiddo?"

  "I was born to do this. I'm done with reading about heroes. I wanna be one."

  A sad smile made its way across her face. "Sometimes that's not all it's cracked up to be," she whispered, but Henry didn't waver.

  "I'll be okay," he promised. 

  "Look," Rumpelstiltskin interrupted, "whatever he faces in there will be far less dangerous than what will happen if we fail. 

  "I can do this," Henry insisted. There was a stubborn fire in his eyes Max recognized all too well. She sighed, running her fingers across his forehead, taking in his appearance. His soft dark hair. His light eyes that stood as a beacon of hope and good. His youthful and naive expression. The same one she bore before the curse was lifted.

  "That's not what I was worried about," she whispered, getting up and turning away so that Rumpelstiltskin could take her place. 

  "Alright, Henry," he said. "Just relax and soon you're gonna drift off."

  "What do I tell them?"

  "Just listen to my bedtime story and all will be clear. Once upon a time, Snow White and Prince Charming needed to stun a very powerful magician long enough to lock him up in a dark dungeon."

  "That was you," said Henry. Unsurprisingly, since he practically had that book memorized. "They used Cinderella to trap you with a magic quill."

  "Yes, indeed. A quill. And yet, it wasn't the quill itself, but the ink, that captured the Dark One. Harvested from the rarest species of squid, from the bottom of a bottomless ocean, impossible to find unless you're a mermaid. Or me. I happen to have a private supply. In my jail cell. That is where they will find it..."

–––

Max stood some ways behind Henry as he tried to convince Regina to lift the dark magic from where Emma and Mary Margaret would emerge. She had run with him so that she could be there for support and to simply keep an eye on him, but this wasn't a situation she could help.

  Emma and Mary Margaret couldn't be saved by the sharp end of a dagger, they could only be saved by Regina, and Regina would only save them if someone helped save her from herself. 

  Max couldn't do that. 

  Henry could. 

  "Emma and Mary Margaret are going to come through. I know it. You said you wanted to change... To be better. This is how. You want me to have faith in you? Have faith in me."

  A tear streamed down Regina's cheek. She looked at Henry, helpless and vulnerable, then slowly turned around and walked up to the wishing well. Extending her hands, she absorbed the magic blocking the way. Max found it hard to watch. Regina was shaking and the dark power of the magic could be felt even from where she was standing. 

  When Regina finished, she fell to the ground, hitting the side of a tree trunk. She had done it just in time, because, in that precise moment, Emma climbed out of the well, followed by Mary Margaret. Henry rushed to greet his family, and Max ran to Regina. 

  "Are you okay?" she asked. 

  Regina nodded, taking Max's extended hand and shakily standing up. 

  "What's going on? What happened?" asked Mary Margaret. 

  "She saved you," said Henry, looking back at Regina. "She saved both of you."

  "Thank you," Emma whispered. 

  Regina brushed the dirt off her clothes. "You're welcome."

  As Mary Margaret rushed off to find her husband, Emma and Henry walked forward, still embraced in a hug, standing opposite to Max and Regina. 

  "Um..." said Emma. "Your mom, she's uh... She's... a piece of work, you know?"

  Regina nodded gravely. "Indeed, I do," she said, and Max turned to look at her as she slouched against the tree. 

  How much did they really have in common?

heartless taglist: @clarasamelia​ @anonymousewrites​ 

[nathank77]

5/24/24

7:13 p.m Edited

I fell asleep fast with half a mg of xanax and 25mg of Hydroxyzine but I woke up 2 hours later needing to pee too bad to ignore it .. I had to take a Benadryl 25mg to fall back to sleep. I prob woke up 3 or 4 times needing to pee and ignored it every time but one more time than at 10 a.m...

Part of me worried I didn't sleep cause I had my eyes closed for a while at 10 a.m.. but I did at least until 1 p.m.. then the time in-between 1 p.m and 3:30 seems foggy... I remember kinda being awake and opening my eyes soon after seeing a movie of like jurassic park in my mind... just prob the trauma of microsleep and waking up during rem making me think I'm "dreaming" while I'm awake idk. I dreamt of being in a mall running away from dinosaurs. Raptors were chasing me a lot.

Anyways I felt groggy cause I always do when I wake up and I couldn't make phone calls. I decided to be productive in a different way. I call it a car care day. Or just car day.

Either way I got the letter in the mail that they received my report on Kristen today now I'm waiting on the status letter that's coming. I'm worried they'll throw it away... I mean I'm crazy right? What does the words of a guy with auditory hallucinations mean to people against a professional? That's the fucked part I'm 100% level headed but they see a lunatic.. I'm stronger than most people. 99% of you all would have killed yourself if you lived through microsleep and auditory hallucinations and being delusional...

Anyways I await the status report.... not holding my breath... waiting to fucking off myself if they let her off the hook..

Well so car care day. I checked my oil and it's low and I scheduled my oil change for Tuesday at 5 p.m. I also added freon to my car. The compressor works. I learned a new thing today :)

Against many people's advice in the 3G (Mitsubishi eclipse) group as I don't have money to pay a technician 200$ to use a 20$ can of freon on my car, I did it myself and found what they contributed to be helpful. It took a long time. I used at least half the can. It didn't seem to want to go passed 25-30 PSI it read 10 when i hooked it up... but sometimes it read 50. When I turned on the ac to full blast it went red indicating the compressor works. And eventually I didn't see much movement on the gauge after turning it down and using more. So I just decided to test it via going grocery shopping. It was def 100% cooler. I feel like I did it but it's not super cold. It's def cold. It's 82 where I am and I was comfortable in the car. Idk if my car is one of the vehicles that don't exceed 25-30 psi. I just asked in the group.

I'm really glad I didn't waste my money on a technician- as a guy who isn't mechanically inclined there are things that we shouldn't do and there are easier things that we can do to be self sufficient and learn and I'm glad I learned. I restored it to about what it was a couple years ago. I'm happy with it but I'd like to get it cooler.

I went to Wal-Mart and stop and shop. I grabbed a chicken and Coolant and some other stuff. I got gas so when I go to the mechanic on Tuesday I don't have to get gas since it's in Southington.

I put on a timer for a hour once I got home cause you can't put Coolant in a hot car. So I'm waiting on that. I shaved my face. I got to buzz my head before the shower and then I guess I'll watch Dexter.

Tomorrow and Sunday imma fuck with my hdcp bypasser and try to have two Red bull days in a row and play silent hill even though no one watched a second of them despite the money and time it takes to bypass hdcp.

I'm still hallucinating but it's whatever. I'm hoping they take my claim against Kristen seriously and I get her license taken away. Although I won't doubt it if they throw it away bc no one sees you as a person when you hallucinate. You're labeled a drooling lunatic that should be institutionalized.

[threenorth]

Today was pretty interesting...

If it wasn't obuis enough my hand eye cordnation isn't the best... So today for whatever reason it be, tom's girl wanted to meet some of his freinds but unfortunately she got called into work so it ended up being me in tom.

Tom bought something like 150 golf balls and out of the that I probably tried at least 50 misses or 100 go only hit at least 15 of them.

Then we went to the city to k road and he wanted to pick up a gift for her and we went to a 3d printing candle shop and he bought one of the busts of a lady who was top down naked but he didn't seem to care his freind got the business.

Then we went down for a walk to sweat shop both had a few drinks and just talked about next moves he's looking at goitup north if his freind gets funding for a bar looking to open.

I said I didn't know yet but I'll keep him posted.

Went home, had dinner and watched some world war 2 mini series ergh world on fire?

And then went to bed it's 1115 now I'll probably hopefully sleep soon...

Messages though let's see if anything sticks out..

Not perfect quite, but your also perfect to me... Even with all the voids of your mind your still beautiful to me no matter what you may think.

Move back would be nice, but I forgot today mom found a role in Queensland, and thought it should try apply and say you know what try me for a month and see what happens. But it depends on the accommodation pricing but we're see that anyway... I've applied for roles and people are like we don't want to interview me, not sure if it's experience or if they think cost it's not like I can move myself with my money I got but they sure as hell don't give me a chance it's really annoying... Especially with the whole we treat everyone equally statement's when they ask about disability but if you don't write it you can also easily be fired oh America....

It's okay to he scared of your feelings. And I'd always like to be back, but I don't know what's next for me let alone what your fully doing like cyber? Nursing? Possibly post graduate environment science... You also know where to find me so stop by anytime.

Your also the first person I want to talk to in the morning, and the last person I think about before I go to bed so I make these for you so when you wake up to can have a read even if most days now aren't much of anything.

Mom talked about possibly going to vist her freind in Denver but last time I brought up Colorado she said I told you it would be waste of time so if I'm lucky if she does want to see her freind it might be a little bit of drive and I'm not sure on details but I'll try keep you posted but who knows if I get a job state side or Australia I'll be coming back when I can depending on leave... And pay how much money I'm making vs spending on moving / how much I have ect...

I hate when you lie, but I guess I learnt alot... And if anything you still cause me to have emotions even if I don't know their names fully... But like I said I'll bounce back... I guess I'm just more unprotected when I'm talking to you...u masked or unwalled not sure the right terminology something like both?

Well time to go to bed.

Love ya.

Miss ya.

Xo

R

P.S

Pretty sure my weird dreams aren't stopping any time soon but hope to see you in them soon again.

[rosedmuse]

hearts of roses; for harusoie 850 days

Everyday, a single stem of a rose is placed upon his lonely doorstep. Not once have I missed a day, and never will Iーa vow made and rooted in my heart. Thus a promise born from the moment I learned of the cursed prince.

Everyday. Everyday, a single stem of a rose is placed upon his lonely doorstep. Not once have I missed a day, and never will Iーa vow made and rooted in my heart. Thus a promise born from the moment I learned of the cursed prince. "A miserable, fallen fellow with the blood of the late King in his veins," as the clique of old ladies in the kingdom would so describe him. Having been treated nearly as an outcast myself for years, I can share in His Highness's current status. Has anyone ever seen him? Met him? Talk to him? For people to spread falsities far and wide about someone they find rather eccentric is completely unacceptable (well, in my books, at least). To think the prince is the common subject of ridicule by his own people... Just what kind of a person is he? I ought to find out. Determined to perhaps make a new friend, I set straight my approach, and never have I been more grateful to be working at the local flower shop. Right before the sun shines from its night-long slumber would I rise, and pick the flower in fullest bloom from one of the shop's vases, in trade of a few small coins worth of my earnings for that particular day's shift. I don't earn much to begin with, but I don't mind. Especially if I could get myself someone to laugh with, talk about my problems with, and come home to, finally in turn. And so, as do every young soul alive, what used to be hopeful enthusiasm soon turned into anxiety. Then confusion. Then doubt. Then, almost very closely now, defeat. "A rose a day, attracts a friend my way," I repeatedly say? Is it just my wishful thinking? But the roses... All the roses I've offered for him are gone the following days... As if, he had actually accepted them? Or did I assume too far ahead?

Regardless, my mind is made. I never once saw his face. Nor heard his voice. Nor felt his presence nearby. But at least one of those has to change. Hence today, as I fulfill my promise towards the unrequited friendship I've become so loyal to yet again, I devise a scheme. From right out of the blue. Nothing big, just a foolish attempt on something I never really put much thought into. What... What if I wait a little longer? Up until now, immediately leaving the roses on the ground unattended has been the routine. But to have even only some of my questions answeredーit's at stake. I can't waste any of my options. I just can't. Besides, my first and (probably) last case of work tardiness is understandably forgivable, no? Placing thus the rose I'm holding so tightly in my hands that its thorny stem had grown quite warm, down on the ground leading directly into the palace, a deep breath escapes my lips. It's been so long. I refuse to count the total number of days I've subconsciously done all this. If anything, I won't be breathing my last breath withoutーat the very leastーphysically meeting the person I'm giving my favorite flowers to on a daily basis. If I don't meet the prince now, I don't think I'll ever be able to. "Hah..." In an instant, my eyes go round at the sound of the old, steel palace doors loudly opening like a painful screech. Pale, slender fingers protruding from a hunched and cloaked figure reach toward the rose laying on the ground. And for what seemed like only a quarter of a split second, my gaze finally meets with His. Hence, all becomes crystal clear. A case of long-term neglect it sure is; but the elegance of royalty in his delicate features cannot be denied. With unkempt, tousled hair as pink as the finest silk in the land, and shocked, tired eyes as purple and lonely as the starless expanse of twilight. The cursed prince. The most beautiful entity I ever laid my eyes upon. I let out a faint gasp in awe, "Y-Your Highneー" But life is cruel. Just as I open my mouth to graciously acknowledge His Majesty in my midst, the palace doors quickly shut with a scornful bang, leaving me cold and dusty from the impact of its sudden closure. I feel so conflicted. So alone. So devastated. "No... Please, come back..." I struggle to fight back the tears that threaten to taint my face with the emotions I've kept locked deeply within my heart for so long. Unable to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders, I ball both my fists and use them to pound against the palace doors, desperate for anyone to listen to my plea and let me in. I could care less about the stares, the whispers, the last judgement that society has declared upon me in that moment. All I ever wanted was a friend. And the only chance I had to make that come true, vanished before I could even fully understand it. Daysーno. Years of upholding the personal vows I made without any guarantee of a happy ending, all for what seems like naught. On my own accord, did I give my life purpose, and simultaneously did I break my heart a hundred times over.  I was so close. Maybe even too close. The cursed prince had no proper human interaction in a long, long time. He's bound to react extremely to my sudden interest. Being stuck in his castle, rotting away overtime with only the roses I keep sending him, as his company. He may have taken the flowers, but he could interpret my intentions differently too. That, I must clarify. So... I guess I just have to try again. And again. And again. For as many times as I need. Someday, maybe we'll be friends. Maybe when I no longer have to wait outside, I could directly gift him all the roses in his domicile. And maybe then, he'll learn how to accept me, the way I accept him. Someday, maybe. 

[emcant]

Rambling through the avenues of time

Thanks for the attention, in advance.

Going to SoCal in a few weeks because my hometown best friend's mom is getting married, so Hometown Best Friend, who currently lives in Asia, will be over for a long while. The county fair is on and neither of us have been in a decade or more, and we're planning some smaller cornball stops around LA. Partying like it's the 90s boiiii

I love a train and an excuse to read for hours, so normally I love the trip down there, but this time I'm absolutely dreading it. We grew up in a relatively sizeable suburb that peaked as a 1950s surf town. I didn't really realize how big it was until just this week, when I looked at the route map and saw all the nothing surrounding it. I always felt so isolated out there: the nearest other "cool spots" (read: larger towns than ours) are all a good hour away, and no matter how you travel to them, you get to look at mostly empty fields for the majority of the trip.

When I was a kid, I always imagined all the blank spots along the freeway filled in with a rainforest. I was a deeply introverted baby conservationist and that was the exact flavor of life I wanted to be surrounded by. Now I live in a much larger city with housing almost constantly in my line of sight, and I find that extremely comforting. Signs of life! Friends, maybe! I'll never meet most of the people living here, but I have this exceptional urge to protect them, based on this singular thing we have in common. I've apparently been craving neighbors to ride or die for, sight unseen, this entire time.

And I guess I'm kind of afraid of stepping away from them, even for a little while. In between the infrequent gorgeous ranch that's probably fully dependent on migrant labor, I'm going to see a ton of mid-sized shopping centers that I know are inaccessible without public transit. I don't want to be neighbors with people who would scoff at taking a bus; who consider it shameful to not have a car, house, recent phone, etc, but not shameful to use public storage and outlet malls; who are too paranoid to even occasionally walk to get their necessities. Yes, the farms self-sustain, to a certain degree - but the ability to "disconnect" like that smacks of privilege to me now.

I'm admittedly making a lot of assumptions, but I grew up mostly around the type I just summarized. I don't think I like that part of the world anymore. The land and the glimpses of the ocean can be gorgeous, but they damn sure don't make a place seem welcoming. Cities aren't for anybody until they're for everybody. Seeing CenCal and SoCal from the freeway is like peeping over the fences of an endless chain of gated communities.

So that's the shot, and the chaser is:

All the media I cling to as an adult has something that makes me feel like I'm literally there. I'm not going to shut up about Opal anytime soon because I jump every time I see Claire trying to wriggle out of her mom's grasp. I'll also probably never shut up about BTAS because I grew up with at least one parent with NPD, and that particular Joker doesn't crush it so much as he runs it through a hydraulic press.

When I Make It, I hope I capture the isolation I've been talking about. Boyfriend's been saying "alone in a crowd", but that's not quite it. It's more like getting out into the open world to realize that it's almost completely blank. The Allegory of the Cave, but it's actually a space capsule, and once you escape, you find yourself floating in the void. But with none of that imagery, of course. It'll be white walls and concrete and a constant cool fog that neither touches the ground nor lifts. While everyone you know tells you what a privilege it is to live somewhere warm and colorful and sunny.

My version of hell, crafted with love for the people who see it and say "same".