#harusoie

[rosedmuse]

impromptus; for harusoie 700 days

The tension veiling upon the crowd around us is somehow intoxicating, every present soul curious as to how this love story's meant to end. Will it be a happily ever after? Or does an epic tragedy await those who step beyond boundaries? They ought to pay their closest attention, if they want to find out.

Today, I finally come home. Finally, I tell myself. Finally free from the many, grueling hours of work and responsibilities and just facing reality head on. To say I feel relieved now, sounds more of an understatement. I can't believe half the year flew by just like that. "Oh, where have you gone, my love?" But before anything else, a street act. I find myself captivated by one. Despite my initial plan of heading straight home to rest and ultimately surprise a certain somebody, that certain somebody in question is instead out here, basking underneath broad daylight, reciting what seemed like a poem created from the very depths his heart. I shake my head, seemingly in response. A voice so sweet yet so filled with patience and longing that all those who hear his plea are bound to succumb to such an honest affection, one way or another. I'm right here, I mentally say; tempted to yell my heart out because of how much I miss everything about him. But I must exercise restrain. There is absolutely no way I'm interrupting him from his moment with, well, his first love. Haruto Asuka's stunning, utterly fabulous as always, rocking any role he so chooses at any time of the day with the raw skills he acquired after overcoming countless breakdowns and self doubts all throughout his acting career. That's my actor right there! Blended subtly within the sea of fan girls and boys and everything in between and not surrounding him, he hasn't noticed my presence. I didn't tell him today's my arrival day back home to him as part of a little surprise. I wonder what he's going to say once he does, or what I'm supposed to do to make him see me. "My heart breaks when you go." Haruto gestures to his chest, his eyes carefully scanning the audience scattered before him, perhaps seeking for a particular person in mind. "My soul aches from being apart, my mind yearns of no other than your name." He learned how to channel his personal sentiments entirely into own his acting without feeling negative anymore, after Twin Kingdoms. You've grown so beautiful, Gen-chan. As I continue watching him throw out more and more romantic lines alongside integrating the few mimes I taught him a while back, I realize once again just how much I'm too in love with this person. His passion is one thing; his personality is another. So are his looks, but even that is a huge bonus. His growth is just one of the many aspects the people around him look up to the most. I say this all the time, I know, but it's the kind of truth I'll never get tired of repeating over and over again. I've quite enjoyed being a spectator and admirer by the sidelines, a rare opportunity I'm willing to grab from time to time, when a new character abruptly enters the scene from out of nowhere. "Behold!" It's Citronia. She certainly just stepped in as if she had grown sick of standing by for her cue, backstage (wherever that is). "Who... Who?" Haruto's reaction accurately captures and embodies everyone else's shock and confusion. "Oh, me? Your fairy godmother!" Citron gracefully waves an invisible wand, taking his wrists and twirls him around in tiny circles. "Now, what you desire, follow me~" Using her hands to gracefully guide his eyes toward my direction, Haruto freezes the moment our gazes lock physically for the first time in many, many months. "No protein~," Citron whispers quietly, her voice ever as calming as a mother's lullaby, before vanishing into the crowd in an eye's blink. As much as any of us silently wish to first comprehend what had just transpired in a mere matter of seconds, all I could think of was how easily Citronia made today even more special for me, at the very least. Speechless is what I am, yes, but truly I love her deeply, and all that she does for meーfor the people she loves ーeven in the simplest of ways, will always be cherished and held dear. Thank you, Your Majesty. Cheeks flushing, eyes tearing up, hearts beating together as one rhythm; I'm sure Haruto thinks the same. I promise we'll treat her out someday, soon. Eventually realizing he still has a performance he needs to conclude, and perhaps, not wanting Her Majesty's efforts be disregarded in vain, Haruto wastes not a moment in rushing towards me, his round eyes growing as round as they can be in a messy mix of shock, anticipation, and excitement. "My... my love," he stammers, his voice faltering so softly, it's almost impossible to figure out the line between all this still being an act or his truest emotions already seeping out, "you, being here, does that mean..." He doesn't hesitate getting down on one knee and offering his hand; the hopeful glint in his face providing a hopeful acceptance of his hopeful intentions. The tension veiling upon the crowd around us is somehow intoxicating, every present soul curious as to how this love story's meant to end. Will it be a happily ever after? Or does an epic tragedy await those who step beyond boundaries? They ought to pay their closest attention, if they want to find out. "I'm never letting you go anymore," Haruto declares, "so from the bottom of my heart, please stay... if you'll have me." But, of course, we aren't going down without a fight. Taking a step forward and swinging my other leg behind me in a tendu, raising my arms into a port de bras, I pretend to give him the answer he so seeks. Just as we practiced, I internally command, keeping my eyes glued onto his, a hint of mischief lingering within them, Swan lake Act III. The Black swan Adage Pas de deux. Haruto breaks into a smile; a smile that many would assume is that of delight, a smile that only a select few would recognize as if to say, I know  what to do, silly. Taking my fingers gently in his, Haruto leans forward to try planting a kiss upon the back of my palm. But just as his lips were about to brush my skin, perfectly in sync with the script, I quickly whip my hand away from him in a playful tease. A series of faint gasps are heard. Now it's my turn to smirk at you, silly. I walk a few steps away from him, ending with a croisé. While I have my back towards him, I allow him a small angle to see the triumphant grin I cannot, try as I might, remove from my face, as I look at him from the side of my head. Mission accomplished. The crowd erupts into a chorus of cheers and multiple rounds of applauses, all the while requesting for some kind of an encore? Is that even possible? Haruto dusts himself a bit once he stands, before we finally, officially, personally meet with a tight hug. Now this is what I call a refreshing way to start the reunion. "Nice impromptu you've done there," Haruto praises into my ear. "More like, an imprompt-two?" I randomly kid. "Or would it actually be an imprompt-three? Considering there were three of us who did one..." He lets out a satisfied laugh before giving our audience the final curtsy they deserve, hand in hand. Forgetting not to highlight as well the significance of our special guestーmore commonly known as Haruto's fairy godmother from now onーand promoting both theater troupes for everyone's never-ending support essential to keeping the future of theater and the arts in general, alive. The sun then shining brighter and warmer than ever, high above the skies.

[rosedmuse]

connecting dots; for harusoie 900 days

Sometimes I think to myself, 'do i really deserve this kind of love?' because I cannot recall any instance in my life that makes me worthy enough to be loved like this. I doubt myself a lot. I wasn't born pretty. I'm imperfect. But then, maybe that's exactly why I am being loved as I already am, by this beautiful person I now call my other half. 

January 1st.

Just like our usual setting, Haruto and I are celebrating another New Year's Day together. This is... our 3rd consecutive one, if I did the math right. But unlike our usual setting, we're also off to check yet another milestone of our relationship coincidentally on the same day. 

A romantic candle-lit dinner. The gentle music of orchestrated violins reach our ears from nearby. And of course, the prettiest date alive sitting across me. Claiming this night to be absolutely 'perfect' is way beyond of an understatement, but this sure feels like a reenactment of a dream I once had back when we were still a newborn couple.

"Do we really have to do this?" I ask in a slightly whispered voice.

Haruto playfully rolls his eyes. "I told you I'd reserve a holiday just for the two of us."

At that remark, a smile betrayed my intentions. Could I be embarrassed? Nah. It's not like there's anything for me to be bashful about, anyway. I probably just got too used to us celebrating at home for a long time that finally doing so out in public resembles taking an actual step onto foreign territory.

Oh, well. Every day is a venture out towards the unknown with Haruto. And it's a journey I'll keep choosing to tread for as many lifetimes as I get.

"So..." Taking a small sip of my drink (orange juice), I ask again, "how many days are we at now?"

Haruto pauses, staring at me dead in the eyes like I've been turned into a ghost by a witch neither of us could see. "Don't tell me you lost count."

"I haven't!" I raise both my hands up in defense. "And I mean it! Seriously!"

Haruto raises an eyebrow. He doesn't seem convinced, but he also remains silent; so I take this as an opportunity to further explain, "It's just... To think that we've been through so much for a very long time now and yet it still feels like I just met you yesterday."

"Hm," he hums, head nodding slowly in approval, "I get it, though."

And it's in tender moments like this, that I tend to discover so many more little details about us. For instance, Haruto's innate sensitivity as to how he communicates with the people around him. He may still refuse to admit it at times, but he does know when to keep things professional, when to allow his competitive youthfulness to show, and when to tone it all down a notch (or two).

As for meーsince words of affirmation is my love languageーI noticed how extremely careful he is in choosing the words he's about to let me hear. I wouldn't call it 'sugarcoating' per se, but it's more of just his own way of making sure that the people he loves and respects are all taken care of well.

"Speaking of," Haruto suddenly says, "do you know why our anniversary is on July 15th?"

My eyes go round, even almost choking on my juice. "And where's this coming from?"

"Curiosity," he simply responds.

I think that that should be my line. All I remember is blurting out to him one day that I would like an anniversary date that's both memorable and thoroughly thought of. Well. Of course, knowing just how naturally keen and meticulous Haruto is...

"Somehow." I wink at him. "I figured there was a hidden meaning to it because c'mon. It's the Haruto Asuka we're talking about here."

"Heh. Exactly," Haruto beams, the grin he has now could arguably be the proudest one I've ever seen.

If anything, connecting dots like this is an absolute specialty of his.

"15 is your birthdate and favorite number," he begins to explain, "so no questions there. But I chose to officially ask you to be mine in July because it's exactly 2 months apart from May (your birth month) and September (my birth month)."

Propping his chin on top of his knuckles, he then tests me, "Now tell me. What's the significance of 2?"

"It's your birthdate and favorite number," I immediately pass and ultimately complete the backstory for him, mouth gaping in awe.

Sometimes I think to myself, 'do i really deserve this kind of love?' because I cannot recall any instance in my life that makes me worthy enough to be loved like this. I doubt myself a lot. I wasn't born pretty. I'm imperfect. But then, maybe that's exactly why I am being loved as I already am, by this beautiful person I now call my other half. 

"Thank you, Haruto-san." It's all I could muster in such a precious moment as this. My hand drifts over to rest above where the back of his palm is.

"I'll do everything I can, Seonne." He flips his hand around to hold and bring mine up close to his lips, with a soft kiss being engraved upon his promise ring that I wear on one of my fingers. "Happy 900 fabulous days and counting~"

[rosedmuse]

a night for a lifetime; a harusoie christmas special

My eyes subconsciously roam to and meet with Haruto's, and we both share a sweet but knowing smile. A reaction that's neither forced, nor shy. Just total honesty in full display to a priceless fact that no one can ever take away from me.

"Seonne," Haruto says, walking up to me with his phone in hand. "Reni-san wants to see you."

Hurriedly wiping both of my wet hands on a nearby towel (after washing all the things the holy trio used for making our Christmas meals), I rush towards Haruto's side and tilt my head over his shoulder to somehow hopefully fit myself into the camera.

"Reni-san!"

"Hello." Reni manages a small smile. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you too, sir," I tell him. "It doesn't feel the same without you here, though."

"Oh, please." He chuckles at my remark. "You have the most reliable person I know to keep you company. For life, I believe." 

My eyes subconsciously roam to and meet with Haruto's, and we both share a sweet but knowing smile. A reaction that's neither forced, nor shy. Just total honesty in full display to a priceless fact that no one can ever take away from me.

"Will you be at Veludo Way for New Year's?" Haruto asks.

"That's not impossible," Reni affirms. "Don't worry. I'll be back before any of you could hear about my flight."

I clasp my hands together in joy, Haruto nods in approval. Reni too lets out a quiet laugh, before bidding us farewell for the night.

It's the 24th of December, and we just finished having our Christmas Eve dinner. Shift and Madoka are here celebrating with us as well. Of course, in Haruto's apartment.

"Hey," I feel Haruto's arm gently rest around my back. He then asks, "are you sure you're okay?"

"What do you mean?" I ask back, quite unsure.

Haruto sighs. "I mean, I'm sorry if I couldn't reserve this night just for the two of us."

"Aw, Haruto-san." I reach out to the top of his hair, as I slowly guide both our foreheads to touch. "This is the happiest Christmas I've ever celebrated in a long time. I'm okay, I promise."

Lilac eyes stare directly into my soul; reading every part of me like an open book. He makes it hard for me to breathe, but I'm not telling him that. Allowing him into my life and ultimately into my heart could equate to giving him the freedom to indeed make certain things easier and more difficult for at times.

"Haruto-san! Onee-chan!" The bright innocence present in Shift's voice interrupts our little quiet moment; much to Haruto's displeasure.

"Oh, c'mon..." he grunts.

"The movie's about to start," Madoka follows up not long later, his head pops up above the edge of the sofa from our perspective in the kitchen.

Looks like we are having a way longer night than we initially intended.

And as if reading my mind, Haruto mouths, "I told you so."

With a lighthearted roll of his eyes, he takes me by my hand; lacing his fingers in between mine and giving a quick peck at the back of my palm as he guides me to the living area.

"Alright, gather round. We'll take the couch," Haruto quickly declares.

"I don't mind sitting on the floor, though," I quickly interject. 

"You can have the pillows, nee-san." Madoka's already gathering every throwpillow he can find and assembling them in a long row.

"Yay, more people on the floor!" Shift happily waves his arms in the air, while helping Madoka build a long royal seat of nothing but soft pillows.

"Hah!?" Haruto places both of his arms on either side of his hips, brows furrowed prominently in the middle of his forehead. "Seriously, I can never win against any of you, can I?"

"Hm... No~" the three of us altogether say.

And with that, marks yet just another start to the best Christmas of my entire life. 

[rosedmuse]

hearts of roses; for harusoie 850 days

Everyday, a single stem of a rose is placed upon his lonely doorstep. Not once have I missed a day, and never will Iーa vow made and rooted in my heart. Thus a promise born from the moment I learned of the cursed prince.

Everyday. Everyday, a single stem of a rose is placed upon his lonely doorstep. Not once have I missed a day, and never will Iーa vow made and rooted in my heart. Thus a promise born from the moment I learned of the cursed prince. "A miserable, fallen fellow with the blood of the late King in his veins," as the clique of old ladies in the kingdom would so describe him. Having been treated nearly as an outcast myself for years, I can share in His Highness's current status. Has anyone ever seen him? Met him? Talk to him? For people to spread falsities far and wide about someone they find rather eccentric is completely unacceptable (well, in my books, at least). To think the prince is the common subject of ridicule by his own people... Just what kind of a person is he? I ought to find out. Determined to perhaps make a new friend, I set straight my approach, and never have I been more grateful to be working at the local flower shop. Right before the sun shines from its night-long slumber would I rise, and pick the flower in fullest bloom from one of the shop's vases, in trade of a few small coins worth of my earnings for that particular day's shift. I don't earn much to begin with, but I don't mind. Especially if I could get myself someone to laugh with, talk about my problems with, and come home to, finally in turn. And so, as do every young soul alive, what used to be hopeful enthusiasm soon turned into anxiety. Then confusion. Then doubt. Then, almost very closely now, defeat. "A rose a day, attracts a friend my way," I repeatedly say? Is it just my wishful thinking? But the roses... All the roses I've offered for him are gone the following days... As if, he had actually accepted them? Or did I assume too far ahead?

Regardless, my mind is made. I never once saw his face. Nor heard his voice. Nor felt his presence nearby. But at least one of those has to change. Hence today, as I fulfill my promise towards the unrequited friendship I've become so loyal to yet again, I devise a scheme. From right out of the blue. Nothing big, just a foolish attempt on something I never really put much thought into. What... What if I wait a little longer? Up until now, immediately leaving the roses on the ground unattended has been the routine. But to have even only some of my questions answeredーit's at stake. I can't waste any of my options. I just can't. Besides, my first and (probably) last case of work tardiness is understandably forgivable, no? Placing thus the rose I'm holding so tightly in my hands that its thorny stem had grown quite warm, down on the ground leading directly into the palace, a deep breath escapes my lips. It's been so long. I refuse to count the total number of days I've subconsciously done all this. If anything, I won't be breathing my last breath withoutーat the very leastーphysically meeting the person I'm giving my favorite flowers to on a daily basis. If I don't meet the prince now, I don't think I'll ever be able to. "Hah..." In an instant, my eyes go round at the sound of the old, steel palace doors loudly opening like a painful screech. Pale, slender fingers protruding from a hunched and cloaked figure reach toward the rose laying on the ground. And for what seemed like only a quarter of a split second, my gaze finally meets with His. Hence, all becomes crystal clear. A case of long-term neglect it sure is; but the elegance of royalty in his delicate features cannot be denied. With unkempt, tousled hair as pink as the finest silk in the land, and shocked, tired eyes as purple and lonely as the starless expanse of twilight. The cursed prince. The most beautiful entity I ever laid my eyes upon. I let out a faint gasp in awe, "Y-Your Highneー" But life is cruel. Just as I open my mouth to graciously acknowledge His Majesty in my midst, the palace doors quickly shut with a scornful bang, leaving me cold and dusty from the impact of its sudden closure. I feel so conflicted. So alone. So devastated. "No... Please, come back..." I struggle to fight back the tears that threaten to taint my face with the emotions I've kept locked deeply within my heart for so long. Unable to bear the weight of the world on my shoulders, I ball both my fists and use them to pound against the palace doors, desperate for anyone to listen to my plea and let me in. I could care less about the stares, the whispers, the last judgement that society has declared upon me in that moment. All I ever wanted was a friend. And the only chance I had to make that come true, vanished before I could even fully understand it. Daysーno. Years of upholding the personal vows I made without any guarantee of a happy ending, all for what seems like naught. On my own accord, did I give my life purpose, and simultaneously did I break my heart a hundred times over.  I was so close. Maybe even too close. The cursed prince had no proper human interaction in a long, long time. He's bound to react extremely to my sudden interest. Being stuck in his castle, rotting away overtime with only the roses I keep sending him, as his company. He may have taken the flowers, but he could interpret my intentions differently too. That, I must clarify. So... I guess I just have to try again. And again. And again. For as many times as I need. Someday, maybe we'll be friends. Maybe when I no longer have to wait outside, I could directly gift him all the roses in his domicile. And maybe then, he'll learn how to accept me, the way I accept him. Someday, maybe. 

[rosedmuse]

taking shape; for harusoie 800 days

As two distinct characters with quite the contrast in personalities, our views may occasionally not meet halfway through and crash like lost planets among a sea of infinite stars. The impact shattered hearts; and fragments of each of our own sentiments drifted away in the cold, dead-quiet air of the house.

We got into a fight. It's not precisely about anything close to being that big of a deal. But we rarely fight; so if one does happen, brushing the aftermath away is as good as bidding a permanent farewell to all the hopes and dreams we've held onto for so long. As two distinct characters with quite the contrast in personalities, our views may occasionally not meet halfway through and crash like lost planets among a sea of infinite stars. The impact shattered hearts; and fragments of each of our own sentiments drifted away in the cold, dead-quiet air of the house.

From the windows of his empty room, I stare at anything outside I could lay my eyes upon. The bright blue sky, the sun, the fluffy clouds, the birds soaring across in flocks, our good neighbor's old tree, the green grass, and the assortment of flowers that grow from there. The sight feels straight out of a movie. I take a deep breath to allow nature's inherent beauty to seep into my system and overcome my restlessness. Haruto has a nice place. Just as everything about him is. In that same moment, I realize, he's the thought of every inch of space in my brain again. "Aw..." I let out a strained sigh. The reason why I chose to stay in his room to calm my nerves down (while he probably does the same in the living room), is because we found out we both needed some time. Just a little bit of a timeout after a fallout to prevent us both from unleashing each other's beasts hidden deep within us. It won't take all day, I'm sure. In fact, I think I'm hearing a couple knocks on the door right now. "Seonne?" Haruto's voice, brimming with concern, reaches me like music to my ears. "Haruto-san!" I leap out of my sorrow in an instant, eager to aid and patch our wounded selves up. Poking my head out from the slight parting of the door and its frame, I am greeted by his solid lilac gaze. There is a hint of guilt present in them, much like mine perhaps, until just a few minutes ago. He offers a smile, as sad as it could ever be. "Can we talk?" He asks, careful in picking his words. "Of course," I reply, "I'd love to." He shows me an open palm of his one hand. I take this as permission to hold mine, so I gratefully place my own answer upon it. Giving it a light squeeze and a small kiss, he whispers to me an almost inaudible 'thank you,' before guiding me to the couch. "Look, I'm... I'm sorry," Haruto stammers, looking away from me, while his thumb busily massages at my knuckles. "I shouldn't have said anythin'" "Hey." I lean my cheek close to his shoulder. "It's alright. I'm sorry too. I doubted myself again when I told you I wouldn't anymore." He bitterly purses his lips at this. "It's not like you can fully control that!" "Well..." He has a point. "That's true..." Letting the subtle quietness between us reign for a while, I'm already feeling the exhaustion from finally having been relieved of the tension of this morning's little argument. I'm tempted to say the same thing for Haruto, but unfortunately, I'm not a hundred percent sure. He has his tendency to be a bit too hard on himself sometimes. And today might be one of those times. Who knows. I have to make sure he's okay. "Haruto-san?" "Hm?" He raises both of his eyebrows. "I love you." Surprise paints his face; he expected that not. A brief pause. And he breathes, paving the way for another smileーa lot happier one, this timeーto shine. I anticipate him to respond with an 'I love you more,' in his usual, know-it-all tone. But instead, he goes right in for an even sweeter kiss. "I guess I really should take a few more pages from your book," I tease. "Oh, you should take my whole book now," he jokes back, looking utterly satisfied at understanding my humor. "I have more than enough confidence in me already. I ought to share that with you." "Ya sure do!" "And I should, well, feel more of my emotions properly," he says, cheeks flushed, once again looking away. "You know, like you." A smile of my own further brings the light back to the mood. We're learning. We're accepting. We're growing. If I were to be asked how people's hearts continue to grow and blossom through love around two or more years ago, I wouldn't have been able to provide a decent answer. I was unqualified, and inexperienced back then. But now that I do have someone I'm ready to spend the rest of my years (and all succeeding lifetimes) with, I think I'm beginning to see how my answer to that question is actually taking shape. 

[rosedmuse]

true love's kiss; for harusoie 750 days

Haruto Asuka of the present, is nothing like the empty shell of who he used to be in the past. An evil witch of poison apples and eternal slumber, he is no more. A changed being is what he is. It was a tough ride, but he managed; and that, is worth celebrating grandly.

Mirrors. Dwarves. Poison apples. Eternal slumber. And true love's kiss.

Such is the story of Snow White.

Haruto has always had high praise for that classic fairytale.

It's timely, fabulous, and very relatable, as he so claims. I remember listening to him ramble on and on about how he used to imagine himself portraying the role of Snow White since he first saw it on TV. He would prance around his room, pretending to dance along with his little, imaginary friends all afternoon long, and even take one bite of an apple he picked from the neighbor's tree to fully relish his fairest of daydreams.

He talked so thoroughly and so fondly of his memories; his every word tugged at my heart that I almost had to pinch myself in the rear to fight the urge of suddenly contacting GOD-za's General Director to request a play centered around it. I'll be suggesting that soon though, sure enough. Just, not now yet. Maybe tomorrow.

"Is it safe to call it your dream role?" It's a question I've been dying to ask for so long.

A brief pause. Haruto tilts his head to one side, as he hums quietly in contemplation. "You can say it is."

I could vividly see him acing the role. Heck, that person can practically ace any role given to him. He may have struggled a bit with Cain (a role very similar to him and his life outside of theater), but he'll just be serving and delivering in the end, as he always does.

Although, if I'm allowed the luxury to admit a hot take for only this one time, Haruto was actually once the evil witch.

He spent long, long hours before the mirror, staring at his own reflection and wondering where in the world had he gone wrong. His face flawless, his capabilities superb. Everything he wanted was within reach; and yet, his heart desperately craved for something much, much more.

Evil thoughts he entertained, poisonous apples he created. Offering his whole life to be a tool for destruction, the 'God' he so admired laid out plans to carry out his divine redemption.

Thus, a loyal accomplice had he became; spreading forth lies and using those who have none to inflict harm upon the innocent. Power, fame, and wealth followed his footsteps, clouding the vision of his blinded heart. The cost of all of whichーhis freedom. Locked behind the confines of his own mind, he believed that he needed more, that he wasn't enough.

"All I wanted was to be beautiful," there is a hint of bitterness to the sweetness in his tone, "but I have rotted away long before I could even notice myself already dying."

And he's gone far.

Haruto Asuka of the present, is nothing like the empty shell of who he used to be in the past. An evil witch of poison apples and eternal slumber, he is no more. A changed being is what he is. It was a tough ride, but he managed; and that, is worth celebrating grandly.

"I have ya to thank, Seonne."

"Me? Why me?"

"I mean," Haruto starts, shifting in his seat and faces me with a whimsical smirk, "ya found me in the right time."

As flattered as I am, how dare he throw such cheesy lines like that when I have nothing up my sleeve to get back at him for reviving the butterflies in my stomach. He does this all the time. Catching me off with my guard down and then reasoning becomes inexistent. (I promise, I'm not complaining.)

"I was a mess, but ya found me. And I really couldn't be happier."

"Oh, please." I roll my eyes at him and shake my head. "You're pretty generous with your compliments today, I'm impressed."

"Oh, ya better be." As on-brand as he'll ever get. I let out a small chuckle, and so does he.

Reaching out towards my hand, he wastes not a moment to lace his fingers between mine. His lips lightly press upon the back of my palm.

"Seriously though, speaking of Snow White," Haruto says, "I think of ya as my true love's kiss that woke me up to reality."

I defiantly raise my free arm (I tried retrieving the other one, but he wouldn't budge) in surprise. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry but I think I'll have to object on that, your honor."

"Haaah?"

"Haruto, you did it because of you!" I bring his hand close to my chest and give it a tight squeeze. "I was merely a helping hand and a shoulder for you to rest on. Everything else was your own growth and I cannot tell you just how proud I am."

He doesn't seem too convinced but it's the truth. In all honesty, I do admire and take great inspiration from his self-discovery and self-acceptance. I too wish to become as strong and successful in life as he. So for him to make sure I'm aware that I'm part of his journey to being the best version of himself so far, I'm beyond elated.

"I... love you, Gen-chan."

"That's my line, Soie. I love ya more, though."

And what better way to end with, indeed, true love's sweetest kiss. 

[rosedmuse]

stargaze; for harusoie 2nd anniversary

Anyone would be convinced that tonight, might be a little too good a dream. A perfect scene, the perfect date, with the perfect person through and through.

Little tears, a silent wish. With the setting sun, comes the first few glimmers of nightfall. It's surprisingly cold at Veludo park these days. Forecasts claim it being the product of climate change and all that; but, I mean, I don't really mind. Although a bit of a temperature drop isn't something I'm generally a-okay with, at least I have a valid excuse to do what I'm doing right now. Leaning my head onto his shoulder, Haruto's heartbeat a steady rhythm to my ears. He doesn't mind me being clingy from time to time, just one of the plenty facts of him I'm never going to take for granted. I raise my gaze to get a glimpse of his face and well, what a sight to behold. "Yer lookin' too eagerly again," Haruto says, watching me from the corners of his eyes, "what'd ya do if I melt all'f a sudden, hah?" "And that, sire, should be my line," I tell him, giving his cheek a gentle poke, "still, thanks for spending the night with me here." With furrowed brows, Haruto lets out a deep sigh. Ah, I recognize that one. He always lets out a sigh that deep, for instance, when Shift and Madoka voluntarily express their gratitude to him. We would catch his cheeks flush the color of his hair and he'd turn away immediately in shame. "Waddya mean 'thanks'? Ain't just no way I'm missin' our second anniversary, damnit!" Oh boy, there he goes. Talk about dedication. I must say, though, he's as intense as ever. "Relax." I place a kiss behind his palm. "I'm just happy to be with you." "Hmph." Haruto diverts his gaze, a hint of pink already on his cheeks. He reaches out behind me to fix the blanket we share to preserve our warmth, rubbing the cold breeze out of my arms. Anyone would be convinced that tonight, might be a little too good a dream. A perfect scene, the perfect date, with the perfect person through and through. I'll never forget a single detail about this, I mentally say, as I have mentally said in all of the dates we've gone together. "Soie?" "Gen-chan?" "Got me thinkin', ya hear?" Haruto flashes me a sweet, closed-eye smile. "My mama. I want you to meet her." As if things couldn't get any better. Beneath the twinkling stars, the sole witnesses to a confession of a lifetime, as I smile back at him (it's the best I could muster), words seemingly insufficient to describe the emotional surge I'm trying so hard to suppress. "You should take Shift and Madoka home with you, too." "'Course I would!" Haruto confirms, the casualness in his voice as he sees them as his legitimate siblings provide a quiet sense of joy and relief to my heart. "But I'd prefer it if I bring them along on 'nother date. And ya, alone. To talk about the future." "You're... thinking that far already?" I can't help but tease. Stupid as it is, Haruto allows me off, merely patting my head and chuckling to himself. "What am I supposed to think about?" He leans closer towards my face, until our foreheads touch. "I mean, that's where we're headin' anyway, yeah?" Little tears, a spoken wish. When the next winter arrives, finally, we'll be coming home

[rosedmuse]

distance; for harusoie 650 days

He's putting the degree he earned in making my heart melt and the butterflies in my stomach flutter at the same time to good use, alright. All that we have together is everything I could ask for. He's been my number one for six hundred fifty days now, and I just know it'll stay that way for many, many more days in the future.

Late afternoon skies the color of bright oranges transition into an early evening expanse of stars twinkling around the cresent moon. Street lights across sidewalks are brought to life in a snap of one's fingers. Clocks all over Veludo Way strike six, sharp; and in a mere couple of moments after, just as he promised, I hear my phone ring.

It's hard, life sucks, I'm in pain. A damsel (not really) in distress is what I am, for living alone in a faraway place isn't a situation I was mentally and emotionally prepared to face.

But alas... I need to get my future on track. Haruto tells me endlessly of how I should make him my inspiration to strive and live out the kind of life I want. I'm not, in any way, opposed to the idea, of course. Although his repetitiveness does get a little funny sometimes, it's still one of his uncountable charms I absolutely adore him for.

"Soie," Haruto says through the line, face and tone both dead serious.

Unfortunately for him, I couldn't contain the little snort I've been holding back since we last spent our minimal free times together, physically; much to his dismay. 

"Finally calling me by the nickname you gave me?"

"NOW, YA BETTER BE GRATEFUL, YA HEAR!?"

It's been a while. Being able to laugh out loudly like this without the slightest worry about what tomorrow (and the day after) holds for each of us.

"I miss you," I tell him, frankly.

A pause; his expression softening when he replies, "I love you, more."

He's putting the degree he earned in making my heart melt and the butterflies in my stomach flutter at the same time to good use, alright. All that we have together is everything I could ask for. He's been my number one for six hundred fifty days now, and I just know it'll stay that way for many, many more days in the future.

"Hmph. Is that all you have to say?

"...My bad, sorry."

Grabbing the plushie nearest to where I am, I hug it close to my chest as I tuck myself into the sofa. Looks like I have to be ready for quite possibly a very long night. Coincidentally, though, I realize, the stuffed toy I now hold in my arms is actually the limited edition Sanrio plush Haruto gave to me ages ago.

"Ah," Haruto says, perhaps recognizing my new companion, "speaking of, shouldn't that be mine?"

Checking the plush, I tilt my head. "Kuromi?"

"Mhm," he hums, setting his phone on a stand while he reaches out to somewhere beyond his camera's view, "have ya forgotten I love purple?"

And how can I forget something as important as that? His favorite color's been purple since forever, giving honor and tribute to the one theater company who took him in when he used to have and be nothing. It may seem insignificant to some, but even the back-end staff and production folks in GOD-za appreciate the special sentiment of their assistant direct. I shake my head in response.

Haruto brings a stuffed toy of his own before the screen, covering most of his face save for his pair of round, lilac eyes I love so much. "And she should be yours."

Long story short, I have Kuromi, and he has Melody. He got me the bad purple girl, and I got him the pink good girl. I thought it was fitting, but he claims otherwise.

"...Why is that?" I challenge him.

"You like pink." He crosses his arms.

"And that's why I like you."

"SEONNE."

Of course, I can't let him get away with this. He started it, anyway. He deserves a taste of his own medicine, even just a few drops.

Lifting both of Kuromi's tiny hands up in surrender, I try to , "look, I'm sorry, alright?"

"Hmph." Haruto still refuses to face his camera. "Ya better thank me. I don't just give anyone the honor of my time."

"Aye, aye sir. If you say so."

And there he begins going on and on about how I must never take him for granted, and instead focus on all the good things he did. For me. For us.

This is indeed going to be a long night, getting back on track's a tough challenge, but as long as I get even the smallest chances to know that we're okayーthat he's okay, distance becomes something we should no longer worry about.

[rosedmuse]

since then, ‘til always; for harusoie 600 days

And just like that, at the mere sound of his voice, I open my eyes. To have him by my side first thing in the morning's already big treat; but to see him, resting his head over his crossed arms along the edge of my bed as he patiently waits for me to fully regain my consciousness, is the real deal only I get special privilege to enjoy.

"Seonne." A gentle rub on my shoulder I barely even felt, stirs me from my slumber. "Are you awake?" And just like that, at the mere sound of his voice, I open my eyes. To have him by my side first thing in the morning's already big treat; but to see him, resting his head over his crossed arms along the edge of my bed as he patiently waits for me to fully regain my consciousness, is the real deal only I get special privilege to enjoy. "Good morning, sweetheart." Haruto takes a lock of my messy bed hair and sets a kiss down to it. "Did you get enough sleep?" I shake my head, groggily. "Too early." "Aw, poor thing," Haruto teases, "that's too bad, though. We're going out today." Pulling my blanket back over my head in persistence, Haruto chuckles at the familiar antic. He lifts a corner of the fabric up and reaches inside to try holding my hand; an attempt of which he has absolutely zero chances of failing. (Nothing new to that, now, is there?) "I want to dedicate this day to us, and us alone, Seonne." A light squeeze on my fingers. "Will you grant me the honor of escorting you around town? I promise to bring you home before nine." Ugh, I groan in dismay, here we go again. Taking the blanket off, I roll my lazy eyes at him. "How could I ever say no to that?" He flashes another sly, triumphant grin, the one I eventually grew so fond of, despite him using it as often as he can to annoy the hell out of me. "Fabulous!" I can never win against him; not when he knows exactly how to steal my heart away and have it locked up for all eternity like the true, evil thief he is. (I say I associate him with all these negative connotations but deep down, I'm aware of the fact that I can fool not a single soul; not even my own.) "I'll do everything I can to make your day extra special." Haruto brings my hand up to his face; lips feeling like feathers upon the back of my palm. "You always exceed expectations, Haruto-san." "Just as you do with mine." He pulls me up to sit right next to him. "Now, off you go to prepare. We can't possibly have other people looking at us like we just had sー" "AYE, NOW, SIRE, SHUT UP AND GET OUT!" "ーslept in our date." Instinctively grabbing the pillow closest to me, the drowsiness in my system long since been replaced by the sudden rush of adrenaline, I use what little strength I have at the moment to smack him with it, as the impact sent him stumbling back towards the door, all the while laughing so hard his face turned bright red and that it almost seems like tomorrow's nothing but a distant truth beyond both our means of obtaining. Who knows what'll become of us after days, weeks, months, or even years. Instead of worrying over the unknown, to live in the now, should be a common goal of ours.

[rosedmuse]

on my way home; for harusoie 550 & valentine's 2023

Closing my eyes, I take a little breather. I know there's no use panicking over ending yet another day still with unfinished business; but working under pressure isn't quite a forte of mine. There's just too much to do; so much to learn. I could almost feel myself being a mere few ticks away from exploding like a bomb. Figuratively, at least. (I think.) "Seonne?" But a familiar voice, as lovely as sweet mornings, seem to pulse a series of the calmest waves within me; immediately feeling as though the invisible weights have been relieved from my chest. My home and my refuge. All becomes well when he's here.

A tired stance. An aching head. A conflicted sigh. Dim lights illuminating countless scripts, formulas, and illustrations. Buried deep into one textbook after another for hours, jutting down important notes all while. But I can't stop until I have seen and remembered each and every one of them. Unfortunately. I glance at the clock, unknowingly. It's the setting sun I catch a glimpse of through the curtains that hints me of nightfall coming very soon. Closing my eyes, I take a little breather. I know there's no use panicking over ending yet another day still with unfinished business; but working under pressure isn't quite a forte of mine. There's just too much to do; so much to learn. I could almost feel myself being a mere few ticks away from exploding like a bomb. Figuratively, at least. (I think.) "Seonne?" But a familiar voice, as lovely as sweet mornings, seem to pulse a series of the calmest waves within me; immediately feeling as though the invisible weights have been relieved from my chest. My home and my refuge. All becomes well when he's here. "Haruto-san!" I quickly rise, eager to hold him close after a long day's worth of suffering hard work. "Great timing, as always." "Naturally." He proceeds to plant a soft kiss atop of my head. (Odd, the ache's magically gone.) "So, how are you?" I groan heavily in response. He only lets out a small chuckle. "That's alright. Hereー"he places a cold drink on the table, "ーgot ya yer favorite." "...You really didn't have to." "But I want to." And then there's absolutely no way I can argue any further with that. Simply flashing him a smile, he pushes a straw into the lid, and offers it to me afterwards. I mouth the words 'thank you' but I received an 'I love you' in return. Really, he's impossible sometimes. But that's just what makes him everything I could ever ask for. Haruto sits next to my chair Despite turning my focus back to the textbook in front of me, I could still feel his pretty, lilac eyes watching my every move. I take a small sip of the drink he bought; as I secretly brace myself for the next set of teases, jokes, and pranks I believe he is to throw at me right about... now. "I'm... sorry I can't help ya there." Using every ounce of energy in my body to force myself not to spit the awfully large sip I just made in anticipation, I remain still. Out of all the things I half-expected him to say, that isn't even in the list. "Wh-where did that come from?" I try to pump up the mood by unleashing my most cheerful self but stammering before I could even begin my sentence is unironically doing wonders for my anxiety. "I just..." Haruto falters, "I want to help you with that college stuff of yers, but..." "Haruto-san, no!" I hurriedly take both his hands in mine, my voice trembling more and more as I continue snatching whatever words I can from my blank slate of a brain. "I swear, just your presence here with me is already more than enough help. You know very well that all I need is you, remember?" But he doesn't respond. Not right away. And the ache's gone to my heart. "I know this isn't the time to bring this up but..." He takes a long, deep breath. "It's never too late for you to come back to theater; to the stage." Like him, I take my time to react. We've had a heart-to-heart talk about this exact same thing not so long before, I remember it as clear as day. It was a hard topic to discuss, and it still is today; but then, it's going to be an issue we will keep having misunderstandings about if we keep running away from it. Maybe now's the time we finally get this all over with. "Haruto-san," I say quietly, as I swallow down the lump in my throat, "You already know that that's exactly the reason why I'm going through all this, right?" As if unable to hold his tongue and temper in check any longer, Haruto clicks his tongue, and with very furrowed brows, he sternly says, "that's the reason everyone else forced you to believe in and do, Seonne." A hole pierces straight into the depths my heart. A wound. I considered squeezing myself out of the hot seat as I would usually do, but not a single lie of mine can get through him. Haruto knows me too well that it's both flattering and quite scary at the same time. Probably realizing his sudden semi outburst, Haruto hastily diverts his gaze away from me. "...Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." He appears to be torn between leaving or staying, but I stop him with a tight hug from his behind his back before he could even come up with a decision. "That's what I love about you," I say languidly into his clothes. "Hah?" "I said," I repeat, raising my head up a few inches to meet his eyes already staring onto mine, "That's what I love about you. "You were courageous enough to leave everything behind to pursue your first loveーacting." He turns around to face me whilst not wanting to detatch himself too much from my grasp. "Too bad I wasn't able to do the same. And I regret it every second of my life. But you inspire me, Haruto-san, and you've been the very reason why I too can never let go of my first loveーdance." "Seonne..." "I just know I need to do this, Gen-chan." I gently lean onto his forehead with mine, and he melts unto my touch in an instant. "I have something I want to prove to myself and the people around me. Surely we're on the same page on knowing that kind of feeling." "...Hell yeah, yer right," he affirms in his cute Kansai dialect. I take this as a good sign, for he has this tendency to lose his standard Japanese accent when he's in a really genuine mood. "Then you'll let me do this. Trust me, I won't give up on you nor any of my goals and dreams." I wait patiently for him to accept my conviction, but after sensing that he seems to be waiting for me as well to say some magic word, I profoundly give in. "I promise we'll one day stand together to share GOD-za's centerstage, just as what we have always been meant to do." Looking content, Haruto's face lights up with a proud smile. He takes my hand and presses another kiss at the back of my palm. "I expect no less from you, Seonne. I'll be waiting." "I love you more, Haruto." "Haaah?" he growls, his eyebrows all knitted again, "That should be my line, damn it!" People may think it's romantic. Some, a waste of time. Others, most likely indifferent. But none of that matters; for all we need to strive on forward with our lives are already within our reach. Passion. Ambition. And one another, as each other's safest sanctum. Don't worry, Haruto-san. I mentally tell myself, as he drags me out of his apartment; his two younger brothers already by the front yard, each of them holding bouquets and chocolates to match the special occasion. I'm on my way home.

[rosedmuse]

cathexis; for harusoie 500 days

I set his half of our matching mug set down the center table in the living room, along with a sticky note. From the corners of my eyes, I try to get a glimpse of his reaction. He has his attention glued to the thick script he's holding. I decide it's better if I don't share the sofa with him today, either.

"Haruto-san," despite the risks, I hear myself say, my voice sounding fainter than a whisper. He responds merely with a small sigh. It's a big day for me. For us, actually. For us, supposedly. Except, Haruto's having what we could call the biggest, longest, most hectic week of his life. Sounds exaggerated, I know, but believe me, it's far, far worse than it seems. Back-to-back meetings, extended hours of training sessions and rehearsals, atop of both micro and macro levels of stage production planning, management, and implementation. GOD-za's second top actor and assistant director barely has any time to spare for a quick meal and nap; let alone celebrating any occasion at all. And I have no intention of disrupting him and his career; the very dream he's had since forever and is constantly striving so hard for to become a living reality. I love him, and his viable ambition is one of the things I want him to value and prioritize. "Haruto-san," I call out to him again; the way his name comes off of me just as naturally as he acts on stage, never fails to send the dead butterflies in my stomach fluttering alive once more, "I made tea." I set his half of our matching mug set down the center table in the living room, along with a sticky note. From the corners of my eyes, I try to get a glimpse of his reaction. He has his attention glued to the thick script he's holding. I decide it's better if I don't share the sofa with him today, either. "Make sure to finish this before it gets cold, okay? I'll do the dishes for you," I assure him, regardless of whether he hears me or not, before making my way into his room. Cozy, is what I would describe it. Simple, yet practical; a subtle blend of elegance and comfort. Precisely how a refined Haruto Asuka would prefer his personal space. I used to ask for his go-signal first before coming in here on my own; but he insisted permissions are unnecessary formalities for me, so I could go to wherever I feel like going freely in his apartment. Lucky as I already am, I take a seat on the edge of his bed. Pillows puffed, blankets made, neatly done and blemish-free. Too bad I'm going to have to be the one to mess it up a bit. (Pun almost not intended.) Plopping back with my arms sprawled out wide to my sides, I stare at the ceiling. The bulbs aren't on, but enough late afternoon sunlight enters through the slightly parted curtains. If I'm being a hundred and twenty percent honest, this isn't how I wanted this special day of ours to end. But, oh well. I guess skipping a single day out of many more milestones with him doesn't seem as bad as it should. (Liar.) "Hah? That's it?" I jolt to sit right back up in a heartbeat. Haruto leans on the doorframe, his eyebrow raised. "Did you really think I'd accept a little 'Keep it up, my future top actor!' message for the 500th day with the love of my life?"  I'm completely taken aback. "...Haruto-san, I-" "No, Seonne, I can't help but feel like you've been purposefully avoiding me this entire week." His words, in turn, feel like a slap to my face. "It's not that I don't understand why, I mean, I do and I really appreciate everything you've done for me to keep my work light and tolerable. "But can't you...” He rashly runs a hand through the back of his neck, messing his hair up. “I don't know, show your support in a more straightforward manner? Maybe like, try forcing me to take a break and spend some time with you, a little harder?" At the back of my head, I've known Haruto's love language may or may not be quality time. I notice his cheeks flushing a soft shade of pink whenever I stop to admire just how beautiful he is at random intervals. He's often stubborn to admit what he expects in a relationship, because for him, it's the littlest, quietest details that speak the most volumes. But him openly voicing out what he wants for the first time right now, my heart pains from being torn apart and such pieces being put back together all at once. I should've done more. I could've been better. Regret filled my eyes in the form of tears as I drop them to the floor. Warm hands instantly cup my cheeks, thumbs wiping my worries away. "I'm not mad," Haruto says, his forehead resting on mine, "how could I? I love ya. Just focus on me. On us, ya hear? That's all I ask." I sniff the next wave of emotions back, and pull him closer towards me instead, strongly hoping my sincerity reaches him. "Still, I'm sorry." "Forgiven." He plants his lips onto the tip of my nose. "I like the tea, by the way." Snorting at his quick paced attempt, I test my luck with a tease. "You're just flattering me." "Shut up, and accept the compliment!" Thin lines appear on his forehead as he furrows his brows. It's a good sign he's teasing me back. "Be grateful I'm bein' nice to ya right away, damn it..."  "And, I am grateful." I kiss his cheek. “Thank you, Haruto-san. For always.” "Hmph." He looks away, slightly embarrassed, I presume, but content. I pay the living room one, final glance, the script lying patiently on the table. The sticky note on it's cover page proving to serve as an effective motivation for its owner. The mug, already nowhere in sight. "Let's go out, tonight." "Ain’t no spendin’ our 500th day any other way, I’m tellin’ ya.” Flashing his signature smug-looking grin at me once we got to the door, beyond it, the early evening breeze ever ready as well to greet us both another happy adventure, with my fingers laced perfectly in his. 

[rosedmuse]

yume masterlist...

#harusoie ꒰ haruto x seonne ꒱ 07/15/2021 ˎˊ˗

solace ღ for 100 days quietus ღ for 150 days (angel/demon au) passé ღ for 200 days (nutcracker au) conquerors ღ a random drabble poise ღ for 250 days ties ღ another drabble entrance ღ a9 (mankai magical academy au) uncharted waters ღ for 300 days (mermaid au) retrograde ღ seonne god-za memory backstage shards ღ for 350 days (cinderella au)  safe zone ღ for 1st anniversary (twin kingdoms au) your eyes ღ for 400 days (swan lake au) time and space ღ for 450 days (giselle au) cathexis ღ for 500 days on my way home ღ for 550 days & valentine’s since then, ‘til always ღ for 600 days distance ღ for 650 days impromptus ღ for 700 days stargaze ღ for 2nd anniversary true love’s kiss ღ for 750 days taking shape ღ for 800 days  hearts of roses ღ for 850 days a night for a lifetime ღ a christmas special connecting dots ღ for 900 days

#bradneroparis ꒰ bradley x nero x paris ꒱ 05/01/2022 ˎˊ˗

secret hideout ღ bradparis pre-debut confidant ღ neroparis pre-debut chorus caeli ღ mahoyaku sona debut bullseye ღ bradparis drabble (post west fantasia)

#solosenn ꒰ solomon x selenne ꒱ 11/12/2022 ˎˊ˗

nightmare ღ for 50 days & debut

#perciowe ꒰ percival x owen ꒱ 08/13/2023 ˎˊ˗

to grow close to thee ღ perciowe debut solus anima ღ mahoyaku oc debut

#yume gifts ˎˊ˗

thanks,pal! ღ a nerutai pen pals au following my heart leads me to you ღ a nerutai red riding hood au i love you most ardently ღ for omirie 550 days special as you are ღ for (asmo)juri day!

[rosedmuse]

shards; for harusoie 350 days

A tale of two hearts shattering like a pair of glass slippers when the clock struck twelve midnight. 

ACT I ー Prologue Genta never raised his voice when he's angry. That's what his mama taught him when he was a kid. That if he's mad, he should take a really deep breath to relax and think. He even remembers the color of the flip-flop she was about to hit him with when that instruction slipped his mind for the very first time. The terror written all over his face was utterly priceless too. Since then, he made sure to always keep him and his emotions properly in check. But mind you, everything in the world has its limits. People, most especially. "Ya can't do that!" Genta storms out of his room in a start, causing the other maids in the mansion to flinch at the sudden tension. "Gen-chan, wait!" Seonne pleads, desperation evidently setting each of the words that spills forth from her lips on fire, "You know I can't do anything about it, right!? It's the family's wish for me to go and I should fulfill my duty ofー" "Yeah, fine, it's their decision," Genta scowls, "but whattabout yer decision? Hah? Whattabout my decision!?" The manners he's putting on display right now could cost him his life, and he of all people knows that fact so damn well. But he can't help it. And who wouldn't? Who wouldn't snap at his masters for taking his precious friend away from him? Doesn't he have every right to be angry? Genta left his hometown to make a name for himself but the Maiharas were the only nobles who extended a helping hand (read: a job to tend the gardens and manage the stables) out for him to grab and hold onto. He was naturally skeptic of course but after meeting and befriending their kind daughter Seonne, he soon found himself swearing loyalty and vowing to protect not only her, but all those who she cares about as well. So deciding among themselves that she must travel to the other fucking side of the country with hopes of finding a suitable match (much less, finding love) at a stupid ball on behalf of the whole family is absolute bullshit. And Genta wants to make Seonne realize that. But all his efforts drown in naught even way before he could fully execute the rest of his plans. "I'm so, so sorry, Gen-chan..." Seonne whispers in his ear, as she squeezes his torso tightly between her arms, like a bidding of farewell. He's too late. "No. No, stop!" He reaches out to quickly touch her hand. "This must be a mistake, Seonne, Iー" "I have to go." "Please don't do this t'me. Please." Her last words echo in his ears even so many hours after the carriage transporting herーhis belovedーto another's arms, left for good. "I pray that you find the happiness you deserve in a life I'm no longer part of, Gen-chan." To be continued...

[rosedmuse]

uncharted waters; for harusoie 300 days

[ 05.11.22 ♡ late post ] 

Two hearts, from two different worlds, meet and collide.

ACT I

Genta knows he shouldn't be greedy. After all, he already has everything he needs. A big family who loves him for who he really is; a childhood best friend he could, and he would, trust his entire life with; and an honored kingdom he has pledged eternal loyalty to till his final breath. The path to his future lies right before his eyes. It's the path everyone around him expects him to pursue. It's the path he himself originally chose to take, but no longer wanted to tread. "I want to be beautiful." Genta flinches and reflexively retracts his hand to seal his own lips in apparent haste. Being unable to filter his own thoughts mixed with a flurry of emotions like he usually does, indeed pisses the hell out of him. He desperately wanted to take that sentence back. But upon looking up, the faint glow of the moon's rays traveling in mini ripples across the depths of the ocean, he knew there ain't no way such an insincere wish will ever come true. The mermaid returns his disgruntled gaze to the sodden piece of thick paper in between his fingers. A human.

He mentally repeats the word over, and over, and over, and over. His thumb gently tracing the image of a distinctive figure that only humans possess. Genta shakes his head, somewhat hopeful that he could perhaps awaken from this unpleasant reverie. He doesn't.

The human imprinted onto the paperーa photoーGenta's captivated. They had a genuine smile on their face, as they held their posture in a way the mermaid never dared imagine possible. "Wow...” If he's being honest, he wants to do that too. If he's being completely honest, he wants to be like them, too. "A-Anyway, I wonder what their name is..." Genta mentally wonders. "Are they fond of the ocean? Would...would we ever get along if we meet each other someday...?" Several dozens more of questions popped into the mermaid's head simultaneously one after another. And he knows that, as utterly absurd as it sounds, there is only one way to answer quite his peculiar set of queries. "...No." The mermaid steals one last glimpse of the photo he denies having cherished even more than his beloved kingdom for the briefest of moments; before mercilessly tearing it into shreds. Through gritted teeth, Genta vows to never again let his heart be so easily swayed by the bittersweet fantasies his mind conjures up to make himself feel at least a little better about the kind of circumstances he was fatefully born into. Until, that very choice led to his doom.

His mates often caught him sneaking out right after class ends, just to take 'a quick peek' at the surface of the water for 'no particular reason'. He got called out for it by his mom too when she heard about the rumors. "I-It ain't true, Ma! I was only checkin' somethin' out, I swear!" But no one believed him. Genta promised to ignore his greed and just live the life already planned out for him. It's a hundred and twenty percent safer that way and he's totally aware of that. But the more he lies, the more he tries to make a fool out of himself, the stronger his desire becomes, the harder it is to fight his greed.  And that's when he snapped. The very people he once called his beloved family, his most trusted friends, and the kingdom he was supposed to serve all turned their backs on him for being the 'ungrateful siren who knows nothing about contentment'. "Tell me," the mermaid pleads, both hands clasped tightly before his chest, "how can I be a human?" A forbidden being, a familiar octopus any sane person would immediately recognize and avoid as fast as possible, raises an intrigued brow. "And why should I do that?" The water around this area feels a tad bit too dark, utterly heavy and suspiciously eerie, even. Goosebumps begin to cover both of Genta's arms, as a sharp chill zooms down the middle of his back. He was always reminded to never go anywhere near here, as a child. He obediently, blindly obeyed that warning, of course. But alas. A decision for life or death has been made. The order of things shall be made different, tonight. Ignoring the uneasiness rising from the pit of his stomach, Genta clenches his fists; perhaps to make himself remember the lengths he said he was willing to take in order to finally satiate his selfishness. With a sigh as deep as his resentment, he continues. "Please. I need to get outta here. Who knows what they'll do to a traitor like me, so please! Please, I need yer help..." "Well." A tentacle reaches out to touch his chin and his body trembles upon the sudden contact. "I do know of a way to turn you into one but need I tell you that what you're asking for comes with a certain priー"  "ANYTHING!" Genta shrieks, eyes welling up in desperation, "Anything, I'll give you anything, you can do whatever you want after this, just please turn me into a human!" The octopus creature smirks triumphantly; as if they had won the biggest, grandest lottery of a lifetime. "Then your wish, is my command." And with a mere snap of their fingers, Genta blacks out.

ACT II Genta dreams of being pulled ashore. Which he finds completely odd. He knows how to swim, he has a pretty tail, he can even breathe underwater because he's an actual living mermaid for crying out loud; so just why in the world is he being dragged out of the ocean? The answer to that is beyond him. "Hey... Hey!" Oh, he stops. His position shifts too, so now he's lying on his back. Weird, though. He can't feel the lower half of his body. "Hey, wake up. Wake up! Can you hear me? Are you okay?!" Too many questions. Genta mentally frowns. He very slowly pries his eyes open, forcing himself to awaken from his slumber, and the bright, blinding rays of the scorching sun greets him in an instant. "Ow..." "He's awake!" a voice exclaims, "He's awake! Thank God, I knew you would make it!" Genta tries to sit up but the pounding in his head betrays him immediately. "Ah!" "Careful!" whoever is the owner of the voice catches him right before he falls back into the water again. Good save. But their brief happiness ends there. "Sthop. Humgging. Mwe." Genta sternly instructs. "Hm? Are you saying something?" Spitting out whatever was in his mouth, firstーhe refused to know all the details about itーwith a more modulated voice, and more force this time, he reiterates, "I said. Stop. HUGGIN' ME!" Genta shoves the person, the human away from him as hard as he can and they, in turn, tumble back face-first into the ocean. That moment's also when his ear-piercing scream shook the entirety of the coastline area they're currently at. "GEEZ, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" the person, the human lets out a complain equally loud and startled as he is. "YOUー" Genta points an accusing finger at them; his round, lilac eyes could almost already pass as two, three hundred and sixty degree spheres encased in his sockets. "WHAT DID YA DO!?" "Excuse me?!" the person, the human shouts at him again in reply, "that should be my line!"  A handful of tourists enjoying their time at the beach literally had to stop and stare towards their direction out of either confusion or curiosity. But with such a heated commotion taking place, they were going to need more than just an audience to cool things down. And it was only when the assigned lifeguard that day approached them to 'Keep it down a bit!' did they indeed shut up at long last. Cheers to the authority of direct intervention. "Hmph!" The two culprits tore their glares away at the same time; so they're now facing two opposite sides while sitting right next to each other. "Geez, just how ungrateful can you be?" Genta's companion whines, "I literally saved your life!" "Hah?" he rebukes, "Whaddya mean, 'save my life' crap? It ain't even like I was drownin' or somー" "That's precisely what was happening, Mister." He froze. "...Hah?" "You were drowning! In the middle of the ocean! If the lifeguard had not seen your unconscious body just floating around two seconds earlier we wouldn't be arguing like this right now!" Genta couldn't believe a single thing he's perceiving today. First, feet. He has too feet. Instead of two fins protruding at the end of his tail, he sees two feet. Attached to his legs, attached to his hips. And he's wiggling them, feeling them, trying them out as you read this particular sentence. Second, he was... drowning? So what he first saw that seemed like nothing but a simple dream, was actually the real deal. He was so close to death. No wonder it all appeared very wrong to him. He then made a cognitive promise to himself to be more careful next time. Especially now. Now that he's also a human. Genta clears his throat. Nothing much has changed, he concludes. The most notable one is his missing tail though, and he's still quite unused to not having it but then again this was what he signed up for. He has reached the point of no return. He's a human now, and not anymore some ugly siren his fellowmen despised and looked down on so much. He was reborn anew. This is his special chance for a new life; a fresh start. A satisfied chuckle then escaped through his slightly parted lips once the realization dawned on him. "...Why are you smiling all of a sudden?" "Hah? Was I?" "Yeah." "Oh, sorry. T'was nothin'." An awkward silence. Genta should think and act quick. He must not let any human (and technically any mermaid, too) soul know that he isn't, in fact, born human. So if his memory serves him right, and proper manners in his realm don't differ much from those of this realm, then the next, most polite thing to do is... "Sorry about earlier." Oh. A simultaneous apology from both parties. His companion's eyes grow wide, apparently astonished. And so does he. "Nah, I mean it. I'm really sorry. And, well... "Thanks. For savin' me." Genta feels (un)surprisingly light after that. He steals a subtle glance to his side but unfortunately he is unable to decipher why his companion's cheeks have a pale pink shade to them. Or perhaps he just didn't want to jinx himself and risk hearing that the reason doesn't actually have anything to do with him. He held his tongue from saying that out loud, though.  "O-Of course!" they stammered. "Just gotta do what you gotta do, right?" Genta nods in agreement. "Yeah, yer right." Another glimpse of his yields another small smile from them as a result. Genta's getting the hang of this; he starts to wonder how much more he'll grow as a person, as himself in this world. It fires him up and excites him for plenty new reasons. Ah, but then again he must not forget the most important detail. "What's yer name?" he finally asks and earns a light chuckle for another blunt attempt at trying to keep the conversation alive. Efforts are highly appreciated, nonetheless. "Soie." they replied, after a short pause. "You? Oh." They stop for a while, upon catching sight of Genta's little struggle which made them laugh at how silly he looks. "So... Sho... Soeー" "Sow-whee." "Sow-whee." "Perfect!" they cheer, "and you, sir? I believe I deserve to know yours as a reward for my courage today." "Ya sure talk a lot." He's one to speak. "Not like I mind though, but anyway," Genta takes a deep breath. One, massive hurdle is blocking his way and it takes literally every ounce of him to grab onto its handle, hurl himself over it, and land safely to the other side. "Haruto," he says, whilst recalling the meaning of the beautiful name he admires so much, in his head, "call me Haruto."  If he can get past some stupid hurdle, surely, he too can live in a world he was never supposed to learn about, yearn for, and step foot in, yes?

To be continued...

[rosedmuse]

passé; for harusoie 200 days 

Sometimes, things aren’t what they seem, at first. 

Like how ‘happy ever after’ is used merely as a bittersweet delusion to disguise an eternity’s worth of inescapable sorrow.

art by @suispicibo on twitter. (thanks a lot, yuun! <3)

Basking beneath the light of the full moon, Seonne wordlessly watched the quiescent residents of the Kingdom of Sweets, coming and going through and from their respective homes, by the palace balcony. She had her arms resting comfortably on the cold railings adorned with crystalline candies, and her hair swayed to the direction of the sweet, gentle breeze. Arriving to where she currently stands was a long and exhausting journey. A perilous one, even. But so worth it. She mentally admits. As night turned into dawn, and she subconsciously wandered even further to reminisce her favorite details of her adventure of a lifetime, three faint knocks then (un)timely brought her back to her senses.   "Clara?" A familiar voice. Seonne reverenced with a little curtsy as the Nutcracker—no, the prince welcomed himself inside her room. "Your Highness." "Oh, please." The prince playfully rolled his charming lilac eyes at her. Like how he always does. And her heart fluttered, in turn. "Quit the formalities now, will you?" "Hm, I'm not so sure." Seonne teased. "Are the coasts clear?" "Worry not, my dear. Though, if you still choose to remain stubborn then I'm afraid I'll have to issue casualness as a direct order from me to you." Seonne sighed in defeat, as the prince chuckled to himself, utterly amused. He then claimed the space to her left; making them stand side by side. Perhaps a minute of anticipated calm passed and the prince stole a subtle glance back at his companion, who apparently had such a long look on her face. With what little time they had left together, he ought to cheer her up.

"Remember when we had to cross the Chocolate River because the Rat King's Army was chasing us? You honestly still have chocolate on your dress." The prince tried. "Oh, but when we got lost in the Forest of Pops, you accidentally broke your arm and almost cried!" His Clara countered almost immediately; pushing him off guard. "Hey! I was startled, alright!" The flustered blush and shy smiles on their faces. The jokes and laughs they so easily threw at each other. The stories and memories they shared were more than enough proof of the mutual passion burning between them. With how comfortable they are together, anyone would've mistaken them for a young couple in love. And that would've been the fate they'd both willingly choose, if they had the power to control their futures. Unfortunately, that isn't how the story ends. They had roles to fill, responsibilities to comply with, and relationships to break so as to save another, more fitting one. "I'll miss this." There was a hint of longing in the prince's tone. "You know. The moon. The stars. You and me. Just the two of us and the whole world." "I-I'll miss you too, Your Highness." Seonne wavered; but the prince caught her trembling hands in his. "Haruto. Call me Haruto. Just this once. I want to hear my name in your voice; and remember it for as long as I live." Seonne felt her insides churn. Her bottom lip quivered. Her entire being was shaken and disconcerted. And since it was obviously beyond possible to keep things rational at this point, she allowed her heart to speak. Just this once. "Thank you. For everything, Haruto." "I should be saying that, Seonne. If not for you, I wouldn't know what to name this peculiar feeling inside my chest." A brief parting gift was then exchanged. But as soon as their lips touched, the palace bells rang. Their time was up. Seonne treasured Haruto's passionate gaze upon her, one last time. Imprinting the sight into her memory, she longed for a gaze meant to be directed towards someone who wasn't her. "I guess... this is goodbye." She said, hesitantly. "...Indeed." He followed, sadly. Planting but his final kiss onto her wet cheek, Seonne helplessly watched Haruto take his leave; without him sparing a single glance at the past he never wanted to neglect like this. Seonne was the star of tonight's show—Clara. Haruto was the Nutcracker; and the soon-to-be prince consort betrothed to the ruler of the Kingdom of Sweets. They were never supposed to fall in love. But they did. And doing so rendered both of their hearts incapable of living happily ever after. 

[rosedmuse]

time and space; for harusoie 450 days

Albrecht. An evil man. Disguised himself as a peasant, hidden his roots of royalty and betrothal to another, merely to capture my frail love in his mischievous schemes. Quite the talented actor, if you ask me. To further worsen the state of things, I fell for him; head over heels in love, very, very hard.

Dance. I have always thought my life would be as easy as following the rhythm of the music playing all day at the capital. I may have a weak heart, medically (and, well, figuratively); but that won't ever keep me away from my first love. Dance has always been who I am, and nothing can change that. Parties. I have always thought my life would be a big event, an almost endless celebration of sorts. The people around me would cheer, drink, and make merry to their hearts's content. Even if it may take days, or weeks, or maybe even months of lively festivities, who cares? What matters most is that everyone is having the fun they all deserve. Happy endings. I have always thought my life would conclude with the happiest of endings. My parents and friends made sure I believed in such a fantasy they worked hard to create just for me but alas, unfortunately, all their efforts were for naught. Albrecht. An evil man. Disguised himself as a peasant, hidden his roots of royalty and betrothal to another, merely to capture my frail love in his mischievous schemes. Quite the talented actor, if you ask me. To further worsen the state of things, I fell for him; head over heels in love, very, very hard. A massive twist of fate I least expected to come true. I know I should be enraged; he lied to me, he tricked and betrayed me. I must not love him, for he isn't the person I thought would be the perfect fit as the final piece of my life's puzzle. He does not deserve me. Easier said than done, I'm afraid. "Giselle!" The call of the devil. Upon laying still as the earth engulfed me wholly, I tell myself: Don't falter. But it's impossible. The plea of this lonely man is indeed temptation incarnate. "Giselle, I'm sorry... I really am..." Lies, lies. More lies. Even before my grave all he ever does to me is lie. At least, that's what my mind thinks. My heart, naturally, otherwise. "I-I know you're out there, somewhere..." Albrecht grabs onto his chest, wincing. "Please. Please listen to me, Giselle, I love you." Despite wanting to scream and cry and lash out at him right at that very moment, I can't. I am but a single, lost soulーa wiliーamong thousands residing within the forest. He can no longer see my body, nor hear my words. We belong to two different worlds now. What more could my love ever do for him? For me? For the future of us that will remain a dream reserved in another lifetime? "I love you, Giselle," he repeats, "yes, I've hurt you, and I'm sorry, but from the bottom of my heart, I know you're the one meant for me." How sweet. Precisely how I fell the first time. Try as much and hard as I might, I don't think I could stop myself from falling all over again because... I feel exactly the same way he does. "Forgive me, Giselle. Accept my hand one, final time, and let me be your last dance." Who am I to say 'no' to such a creative and genuine renewal of proposal? Setting all the negativities we faced aside, I love Albrecht, and Albrecht loves me. Fate was beyond harsh to the both of us, so it's thus up to us nonetheless to prove just how strong and far our peculiar love's going to take us. Beyond time and space, I rise, and hold onto his outstretched palm. Our fingers touch, a warm tingle spreads forth from the gentle closure. Beyond time and space, we'll find our way back. It's a promise we both intend to keep regardless of how many lives and realms we have to enter, cross, and conquer, together.