#I'll do this if somebody tell me if they wanted to see!

[bluwavez]

His father always said that he thought with his heart, never his brain. The night of December 31st, 2024 was no different.

"Yeah, I'm walking fast as fuck because I'm pissed as fuck! Damn!" Noah snaps at his phone, looking at the screen like the commenter is stupid. Noah adjusted his airpods, shaking his head with a huff.

"I'm frustrated. Like, I'm mad frustrated right now. So frustrated I can't even speak Korean, like, someone is going to have to translate this--Don't translate this because the last thing I need right now is K-Sirens on my ass, holy shit." He keeps walking, not sure where he's going, but Busan's streets seem empty at this hour. It's nearly two in the morning, of course, they're empty.

It's a Wednesday.

Noah reads twenty of the same comments, asking the same question of what happened, nodding at his phone with pursed lips.

"I'll tell you what happened-Let me tell you, my shit got stolen. Again. Again!" He shouts the last word before taking a breath to try to collect himself. Arguably, he doesn't try hard. He's always found comfort in rage, treating yelling or raising his voice like a warm blanket. He's talking fast, words spewing out of him quicker than he thinks them— If he even thinks them. He swears he's on autopilot right now, shouting at his phone for thousands to see.

"Somebody Else, yes the song on Finn's album, is my beat. I made that fucking beat and I wasn't credited for it just like I made The Rizz–Wrote that shit too! Produced, composed, and wrote it. That was my fucking song through and through and I was never credited for it. He just took it and he did again! I'm so fucking mad like-" His eyes widen as he looks at the camera again, bewildered at these circumstances. Noah can't help but scoff and shrug his broad shoulders. He's still walking. The street lamps whizz above him at the speed he's going.

Noah scoffs, shaking his head and making his hair fall in his eyes. He stops walking abruptly to put a flat palm up to the camera to silently tell the viewers to shut up.

"Finn literally is not stupid. He is not dumb. He can play a dumb bitch boy for the camera all he wants, but he's not stupid and knew those songs were my songs," Noah rants, pointing to himself. Puffs of cold air are seen as he rants.

"Because I'm tired," Noah barks back, tossing a threatening finger at the camera, "I'm tired of his bullshit. He's a snake, and everyone loves him because he's 'cute' and 'precious'. Yeah, precious at stealing my work!"

Noah stops suddenly, eyes wide as he bends over to catch his breath. The night air cuts through his thin jacket, chilling him to the bone. But he doesn't stop, can't stop, because rage is fueling him more than any caffeine could. He straightens up again, pointing an accusing finger at the camera.

He doesn’t say anything with that, just pointing a finger at the camera with a scowl before walking again. His boots crunched against the frozen sidewalk.

He halts abruptly once more, raking a hand through his hair as he struggles to stay in control of his emotions.

Noah's face contorts in anger at the mention of his father, but he quickly composes himself. "My dad," he says with a sharp edge to his voice, "is not just some billionaire CEO. He's my dad, and I love him. So shut the fuck up." His words ring out, cutting through the streets with raw emotion, making him look over his shoulder before his head snaps back towards the camera.

He glances back at the camera, eyes flashing dangerously under the lamplight. "And F-Y-I, @LOOP4CHLOE," he goes on, pointing a preemptive finger at the screen, "I've never done coke in my life unlike some of your faves so keep my name out of your fuckin’ mouth."

His pace quickens again, driven by pure adrenaline and anger. His breath comes in short puffs, fogging up the camera lens momentarily as it struggles to keep focus.

Noah snorts a laugh at that one, an incredulous smile tugging at his lips. "Focus on my music? That's all I fucking do! Every beat you hear, every lyric you sing along - that's me! That's all me!" He punches his chest for emphasis.

Suddenly he stops again and looks straight into the camera, his gaze piercing the lens. "You know what?" he begins ominously, "Finn can have it all - fame, money, fans... whatever!"

He shrugs dramatically, kicking at a discarded soda can, sending it skittering across the icy pavement. "He can have all the awards too," he continues, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "I mean, he already has my Grammy... right?"

Another ding from his phone makes him pause mid-rant. He glances down at the screen, brows furrowing as he reads aloud.

Noah's shoulders slump as he reads the comment, his anger dissipating just a fraction. "Yeah," he says softly, his voice sounding small compared to the loud rant from before. "Me too."

But the moment of vulnerability doesn't last long. He huffs out an irritated laugh, shaking his head as he looks back at the camera.

"You know what though?" He says, a smirk creeping onto his face. "Even with my beats and my lyrics, Finn's still shit. His voice isn't worth shit, and he knows it. That's why he keeps stealing my stuff, 'cause he knows he can't make it on his own."

He snorts again, that bitter laugh bursting from him as he walks down the deserted streets of Busan. "Yeah," he agrees, almost sarcastically. "I deserve better. But life isn't fair now is it?"

His phone rings then, pulling him out of his rant. He glances at the caller ID and swipes the screen to reject the call without a second thought.

"Fuck off Finn," he mutters under his breath, eyes narrowing at the screen before looking back up at the camera. "Anyway," he continues with a dramatic wave of his hand, "I'm done talking about that bitch."

He stops abruptly, turning to face the camera with an eerily calm expression on his face.

[lonelywretchjervistetch]

My DC Cinematic Universe - Creature Commandos: Part I - Introduction

In every comic book fanatic...there are two wolves.

There's the first wolf, the purist wolf, who has read all the canon, loves the comic book lore as it stands (no matter how ridiculous it is), and can tell you the unnecessarily complex backstory of that one character that no fully same person knows the backstory of (the Hawks for DC nerds, and any member of the Summers-Grey family for Marvel, for example). But the second wolf, the fan wolf, actively shares those characters and stories they love with other people, and thinks about those characters with its own headcanons and opinions.

Now, unlike the metaphorical inner wolves of normal people, these wolves are fed by external media. And when a comic book fan looks at a character or story they live, especially when its adapted, their wolves feast. The purist wolf feeds on accurately adapted characters, faithful to the page and to what they love to see. Meanwhile, the fan wolf just wants to see the adaptation, regardless of the changes, and loves to talk about it with other people who see it. Now, ideally, every comic book nerd has wolves that they feed in equal measure with books and media, especially if that media adapts comics well.

So, how are my wolves doing?

...Jesus Christ, when did the fan wolf learn how to walk on two legs? And use weaponry? And develop thumbs? And learn Spanish? And speak with the voice of acclaimed character actor Wagnar Moura? Well, shit, he's feeding pretty well as of late. Makes sense, there are a lot of adaptations nowadays, and comic books and associated media are considered mainstream! That means the purist wolf must be

Ah. It's dead.

Well, goddamn it, what the hell? Comic book purists have never really fed well, but it's not like they've been completely starved. As somebody who considers myself pretty flexible in my tolerance of character and story changes between media (different media means different narrative need and format), I often like the changes in adaptations. Plus, there have been plenty of changes that are at least faithful to the original spirit of the characters.

In Marvel, for example, every version of Spider-Man that we've seen in film has at least been faithful to the spirit of the character. Sure, Tobey's version wasn't very funny and created natural webbing, Garfield's version was arguably too cool for school and never said the whole responsibility thing, and Holland's version is way too reliant on other superheroes in his films, but ALL of them are still solid version of the webhead, in my opinion. Plus, hell, Into and Across the Spider-Verse are both more than enough fuel for a comic book purist, even with Shameik Moore's stupid-ass Tweets as of late.

And that's not even counting the Playstation Spider-Man, who's goddamn fantastic (BOTH of them in BOTH games), some of the animated Spider-Men (looking at you, *Spectacular Spider-Man*, unsurprisingly), and even fan-made versions of the character that have made the circulations as of late. Hell, adaptations have been doing better than the FUCKING COMIC BOOKS as of late when it comes to Spider-Man. But, OK, enough about Marvel. Not why I'm here. Just...bear with me, I'll get to the point.

DC has had plenty of faithful adaptations over the years, if not actual straight adaptations that also work all right. Young Justice, of course, is the most recently lauded animated adaptation, while older shows like Batman: The Brave and the Bold, the various shows of the DC Animated Universe (AKA the DCAU or Timmverse), and even more recent fare such as Harley Quinn shows at least an appreciation and familiarity with source material. That last one, admittedly, is a stretch, but Harley Quinn has genuinely surprised me with its attention to faithfulness, and its willingness to be more creative and funny with its alternate versions of classic characters. It was better in earlier seasons, though, just to be clear. But even then...passable.

There's also the animated film adaptations, which haven't been as good as they were in the late 200s and early 2010s, but still have some solid entries. The Crisis on Infinite Earths adaptations weren't perfect, but had their...sparse moments. The Long Halloween was actually quite a good adaptation of the difficult-to-adapt source material, as was Teen Titans: The Judas Contract (even if the TV series did it a little better, although much less accurate). Wonder Woman: Bloodlines is a recent adaptation that's actually VERY good, especially to those who love WW rogues. And if you haven't seen some of the older films, like Justice League: Doom, Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths, Justice League: The New Frontier, Batman: Under the Red Hood, Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Batman: Year One, The Death of Superman and Reign of the Supermen, Superman/Batman: Public Enemies, Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, Superman vs. the Elite, All-Star Superman, and Superman: Red Son...uh, yeah, please do, they're all excellent.

But, OK, with all of those adaptations, some as recent as last year, why is the purist feeling so deprived? Well...because the bad FAR outweighs the good, especially as of late. Just talking about DC (because Marvel is a bag of angry, screaming Flerkens), the movies have only given us THREE decent adaptations in the last 5 years: the underrated Blue Beetle, which is a quite accurate iteration of the character; Matt Reeves' The Batman, and the associated The Penguin (which was so afraid of comic books that they changed the main character's name to be "more grounded"), and The Suicide Squad, which is...a fitting film to bring up. Oh, and Birds of Prey doesn't count because it fucked over A LOT of characters, especially Cassandra Cain. Just sayin'.

In terms of TV series, well...Young Justice returned, but kinda fell off in the process for a lot of fans. The CW series, with the exception of the excellent Superman and Lois, are...something for another post. And there is Peacemaker, which is...again, fitting to bring up, but also incredibly complicated, and not beholden to accuracy for various reasons. And anything else...doesn't really rate discussion. Yeah, it hasn't been amazing for DC fans, while Marvel fans were eating pretty well in the last decade-and-a-half. So, imagine our delight and joy upon hearing that the DC cinematic universe would be remade by a bonafide comic book fan who was unafraid of the source material: James Gunn.

With Guardians of the Galaxy, Gunn had already proven he was able to swing and swing BIG when it came to comic book characters, having successfully adapted the titular Guardians, and Ego the Living Planet, of all characters. Yes, he severely fucked up Ronan the Accuser and Adam Warlock (like...REALLY badly), and also kinda Drax, but he also adapted Mantis successfully. FUCKING MANTIS. At the very least, he showed that he was willing to go for it. And then, after the firing-and-rehiring from Disney and being brought onto DC as a result, he made The Suicide Squad.

Understand what a miracle this film is, OK? Gunn makes GotG, it's a massive success, and Warner Bros. and DC notices that. So, they make their own GotG with blackjack and hookers in the form of David Ayers' Suicide Squad, which is TERRIBLE, and seen for the rip-off it was. Then, Gunn's old tweets pop up and he gets fired by Disney, and JUST before he gets rehired, WB swoops in and snags Gunn to revitalize the film series that ripped off HIS film series IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND IT FUCKING WORKS. Not only does Gunn make a GOOD Suicide Squad movie that people actually LIKE, but he also adapts King Shark, Starro the Conqueror, and fucking POLKA-DOT MAN!!! And he gets Jon Cena to play Peacemaker, WHICH LAUNCHES ITS OWN FRANCHISE BY ITSELF!!! And with that, Gunn gets brought on to run the DC cinematic universe as their own Kevin Fiege. FUCKING POLKA DOT MAN??? It's incredible!

...Right?

Like I said, Gunn's The Suicide Squad seems like a miracle. Excellent performance, a lot of cool characters to introduce from the DC Universe, and a crazy-ass showdown that does DC Comics some justice. But, uh...hold on a second. The wolf is still starving over here. Because this film cleverly seems like a miracle. In reality, while Gunn made a fun film to watch, he also severely fucked over comic book nerds in a myriad of different ways with this film, because he set a dangerous precedent, while also continuing an irritating trend that he'd previously helped to promote. That trend? In-name only characters, AKA references for the sake of references.

...Fan-service. Gunn is a master of good-looking fan service.

Look, creative license is great, honestly. It's also incredibly necessary. But Gunn has found a way to put in superficial references that draw in comic book nerds, or the comic-book knowledgeable, while also not really even caring about the source material. Sometimes, it doesn't matter. Polka-Dot Man, AKA Abner Krill, is essentially a joke character that Gunn took and made into an actual character. No comic book nerd gives a SHIT that Polka-Dot Man was a Batman villain from the '60s who committed dot-based crimes, using various special devices and gadgets that he turned into dots that he wore. He's essentially a blank-slate of a character, and Gunn took that and changed it completely, but also made the character memorable and interesting (as did actor David Dastmalchian, of course).

In fact, Gunn did the exact same thing with a whole slew of bit characters in the beginning of the movie. Lemme give you a shortlist of the comic book characters that appear in The Suicide Squad, outside of the main cast of character.

Javelin*,Savant*, Blackguard*, Mongal*, Captain Boomerang*, Weasel**, Thinker*, Kaleidoscope**, Double Down**, Calendar Man**, Ratcatcher*, Starro the Conqueror**, and technically Arm-Fall-Off...Man*. Holy shit, that's a lot of characters! What's that you ask? What do the asterisks mean? Ah, right, sorry, I should explain. Characters with two asterisks have little more than a single brief appearance, just for a quick joke or a "hey look, they're here" appearance. And the single asterisks? Those characters die.

And yeah, OK, it's a "Suicide Squad" movie, death is part of the equation. But look at some of those characters again. Mongal? She's an extraterrestrial conqueror, and the daughter of a major Superman and Green Lantern villain. Definitely could be used better than dying LIKE A PUNK. And why is that character even in Task Force X? Starro the Conqueror? I mean, maybe they pull something off and bring him back for a later film, but that's a WORLD-ENDING THREAT, and a fucking JUSTICE LEAGUE villain! And...wait a second, did Gunn kill CAPTAIN FUCKING BOOMERANG???

One of the most iconic members of EVERY comic book iteration of the Suicide Squad (and therefore a survivor), one of the most iconic members of Flash's Rogues, and one of the only semi-decent things about Ayers' Suicide Squad? You gave Weasel, fucking Weasel, a post-credit scene where he survives the beach massacre, and Boomer is just fucking SHAFTED??? For what can only be assumed is a shitty SHOCK-DEATH? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DECISION IS THAT???

Look...I actually like The Suicide Squad, I swear. It's a fun film, it is a Suicide Squad movie, and it does a good job with character development and the story of the team. Bloodsport and Peacemaker are great rivals and fun-as-hell characters, Margot Robbie gets a chance to actually shine as Harley Quinn, Ratcatcher and King Shark are great, and the fact that Flag and Polka-Dot Man die is actually genuinely affecting. Plus, shit, they made Starro the Conqueror FUCKING TERRIFYING, especially because he's a big dumpy STARFISH!!! I do like it! But...man, these are some controversial fucking choices, and I've never liked them.

And the big problem now? Gunn is running the DCU.

And again, I don't think that's inherently a bad thing, but...man, it has me worried. Hell, look at Peacemaker. While it was a great showcase for its eponymous character (and Jon Cena is stellar in the role), it introduces two characters that get kinda screwed, while also giving a kind of nothing-burger of a villain. I mean, I love Vigilante in the show, but Adrian was a fucking judge in the comics, not a complete sociopathic moron. Funny, yeah, but not the character. And Judomaster? Damn, did that character get completely shafted. Another in-name-only character, even though he's not a character I've ever been super-devoted to.

My problem is this: if Gunn approaches all of his projects, and the DCU at large, the same way he approached The Suicide Squad and Guardians of the Galaxy, this isn't gonna work. And that's not just in terms of how the characters are written or treated, it's his practices of pumping characters into his films, only to dump them and ruining them for the future of the universe as a whole. I mean, hell, he even did it to Marvel. Ronan the Accuser, Ego, and the High Evolutionary are gone from the MCU, despite being characters of enormous potential. But hey, is this a rational fear, or am I worrying for no reason? Well...cue the trumpets.

Earlier today, I finished watching Gunn's Creature Commandos, having kept up with it throughout the season. And understand, when this film was announced, I was super excited about it! I love the Creature Commandos in concept, and they've had a few incarnations throughout the years. It's a fascinatingly fun idea, and I was looking forward to seeing how the characters were adapted. I had my questions and concerns, especially about the roster, but I was intrigued. And what we got was...well, second after I finished it, I wrote this post. And that has sponsored what you're currently reading. So, uh...I have some notes.

Yeah, this is one of those rare occasions where something has made me SO irrationally frustrated, so very and incredibly irritated, I had to write a goddamn essay series about it. And yeah, this is only the first one of these. Can't help it. I'm kinda pissed off. Because Gunn wasted this team, ruined a fair number of characters for the DCU going forward, eradicated a pile of possibilities, and STILL GOT A SEASON 2 APPROVED FOR THIS SHOW. God, I'm worried. And I gotta tell somebody about it.

So, to the...I dunno, 1 to 5 people who actually read this essay, inclduing those whom I know personally (you know who you are, how ya doin'), thanks for reading and, if you're interested, stay tuned. A lot of unnecessary nerd-whining to come, believe you me. And more than a few headcanons, because I'm giving this the same treatment as my Superman essays. So, yeah, buckle in. It's gonna be a ride.

Part One: Introduction and Adaptation Part Two: The Original Creature Commandos

[darkness-in-the-face-of-the-deep]

I'm bored, how are you? + I needed something warm coloured, so yeah. More my afk au (this au has a name, I swear)

Все ведь знают, что Ортрус красивый в Ансиэля. And au Ansiel is a short guy. Heheh. It's so funny to draw them together

Я слишком люблю рисовать Ансиэля на самом деле. Настолько нормально любить свои же дизайны? Спасите

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[cerbreus]

had a trainwreck of an in person consult for my sleeve tattoo yesterday only made better by the itty bitty yorkie shop dog adoring me and sitting on my lap the whole time.

[sunnywalnut]

No but I'm still looking for the Denny's that is still in the middle of nowhere

having cis guy friends is so funny like youll ask if they wanna hang out and theyll send you to the dark woods

[secondpersonpoetry]

hi! heard the released “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” (which i’ve seen you’ve heard live, if i’m not mistaken!!) this morning and i don’t know if there’s really a particular vibe/dynamic/ship hrpf-wise (personally haven’t yet been able to put my finger on it) that quite relates but the lyrics have been rotating in my head all day and i was wondering if you had any thoughts? hope you have a good one! <3

OH ANON HAVE I EVER SEEN IT LIVE!!! and the second that song came out i zoomed it straight into my fic playlist and unfortunately there are so many guys this could be. right now the one that's resonating is, of course, the golden boy and his haunted ghost themselves: mcstrome.

i am thinking about connor, specifically, after the stanley cup final. that game seven. how angry he was, how loud the silence when they told him he won the conn smythe. how close he's come before and again and again lost. there's nobody else to blame but himself. he's in the empty room and he knows why (1)

at!! your best!!! you were magic!!! oh, golden boy. connor the anointed, of course. at the very beginning of his career we always knew he was something special and who wouldn't have fallen in love with him? weren't all of us a little bit dylan strome in awe of the generational talent? we were all bathed in radiant light just by being in the vicinity (2)

don't even tell 'em that you know me breaks my heart (3). in terms of building a narrative i think i've said before there is a universe where connor/dylan were together before the draft and to protect both of them, dylan breaks up with him. connor says i love you and dylan says i don't. because he doesn't, you know? he loved connor. he loved davo. he can't be in love with connor mcdavid, first overall pick of the edmonton oilers. i'd rather be hurt forever than have to watch us try to make this work and destroy us.

and after connor mcdavid left the otters, dylan strome captained them to a memorial cup win. what a haunted home, eh? to be captain of the team you and your best friend were on, only now he's left you? don't call me to tell me about your rookie season with the oilers--we both know about your broken collarbone. don't call me to tell about becoming the youngest captain in franchise history when i stepped into the shoes of your captaincy here. don't call me. (4)

narratively: dylan's the one who broke connor's heart and his own but by god it wasn't easy. we both know what happened, you went first overall. please don't make this harder on me. please don't call.

this verse can be about the weight of dylan having to live up to connor's standards and always being measured by him. i would just like to bring up the connor stepping stone chart for absolutely no reason as well (5)

we are, at long last, at the potential future of now: dylan strome, happy, smiling, thriving on the washington capitals. connor, on the oilers. i'm not yours, dylan can say. haven't been for a long time. it took some time but i made this. please don't call and ruin this for me, stay out of my life. i don't want you or need you (6)

[p.s. this took a while because when i received this ask i was a) immediately possessed to write this verse by verse breakdown i had never thought of before and then b) immediately plagued by the idea of making you a little graphic (above the read more) and finally got to do it after banging out all the actual lyric thoughts two (?) weeks ago. emerging two and a half hours later from the fugue state of GIMP with 37 layers in this bad boy hope you enjoy!!!]

[dunmeshistash]

Laios Backstory

I've been wanting to compile the comics that talk about Laios backstory for a while, especially after reading the "Laios and Family" extra from the new Adventurer's Bible that re-contextualizes it from Falin's POV.

So I'll be posting and discussing parts from the manga and extras that talk about/show his and Falin's Backstory. Spoilers Ahead.

First, here are their timelines from world guide, its a nice way to situate whats happening and how old they are.

Starting with chapter 52 - Bacon and Eggs, Laios tells his and Falin's story to his party for the first time, after being asked by Senshi why they came to the island.

Laios left the village a year before Falin did. Falin was 9 and Laios was 12, they only met again 9 years later when Laios deserted the army.

"That's why I decided that I would never leave Falin behind again. At least until she finds somebody new that she wants to be with."

Then there's the "Laios and Family" extra from the new adventurer's bible:

I really enjoy the recontextualization from Falin's POV. Especially since we get to understand their parents better.

And Laios finally explains that he left so he could build a better life for them where Falin wouldn't be treated badly. Only to fail and realize she was doing better without him.

They both want what's best for each other but they're too silly.

"I thought if we parted ways at that point, I'd probably never see him again. So I went with him, without thinking about where it would lead."

Going back to Chapter 42 - Nightmare with this context.

You can really tell how he feels like a failure.

Rereading those helped me appreciate the Caravan Extra and Arrival on the island from daydream hour better.

This poor guy failed at everything he had set out to do at this point. And when Falin says "Long time no see, big brother!" she really means it, she hasnt seen a well groomed Laios in almost 10 years.

[hurtspideyparker]

Part 3 of if Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together

Part 1 Part 2

-

Mission debrief:

Thor: Don't feel bad Banner, I mean is there anyone at this table who hasn't killed somebody?

Peter: *slowly raises hand*

Natasha: Don't worry you're still young

Peter: 😟

-

Steve: Has anyone seen my shield?

Clint: *points outside*

*Peter, Thor, and Bucky playing frisbee with it*

Steve: I guess I'm not saving those orphans today :/

-

Clint: Tony I said seedless watermelon, are you trying to kill me?

Tony: You're a big boy, you aren't gonna choke

Clint: No but it might... grow

Tony: Oh please don't tell me you still think watermelon seeds grow inside your stomach if you swallow them

Clint:

Pietro: Bro got a licence to kill but still has a Jack and the Beanstock level of education

-

2:34 am

Tony: *leaving Steve's bedroom*

Sam: *leaving Bucky's bedroom*

Tony:

Sam:

Tony: Let's never speak of this?

Sam: Yep.

-

Steve: Tony, you're the smartest person I know. You understand anything you set out to study, your passion is remarkable, innovation beyond anyone on the planet, and an incredible memory

Tony: Thank you thank you

Steve: So why do you STILL NOT CLOSE THE KITCHEN CABINETS

Tony: Uh

Steve: SOME OF US ARE TALL TONY. SOME OF US HAVE BRUISES ON THEIR FOREHEADS BECAUSE OF THIS NEGLIGENCE

-

Tony: Goodnight kid *tucks Peter into bed and kisses his forehead*

*Clint, Vision, Thor, and Dum-E waiting outside the room*

Tony: Oh come on. All of you?

*nodding*

Tony: Vision you don't even sleep. Dum-E I am not kissing you again you gave me chemical burns last time

Dum-E: *lowers head and whirs sadly*

-

Bucky: Don't sit so close to me

Sam: Why, cause I'm black 🤨

Bucky: No because you smell like ass sweat

Sam:

Sam: Why, cause I'm bl-

-

During training:

Natasha: *flips Steve and slams him onto his back*

Peter: Woah! I wanna know how to do that

Natasha: *flips Peter and slams him onto his back*

Natasha: Seems like you already know how

-

Tony: Okay Merida, you and me, darts for a hundred bucks. My suit vs. your freak self

Clint: I'll take that bet

*7 minutes later*

Tony: I have advanced AI targetting technology. SUPER. SUIT. How did I lose?!

Clint: It can do a lot of things Tony but at the end of the day it can't super suck this di-

-

Bucky: Sam's in medical so I'll do the mission debrief with you

Natasha: That was fast, I thought you'd still be coddling your boyfriend the rest of the day

Bucky: What. How do you know about us.

Natasha: I don't, it was a joke...

Bucky:

Natasha:

Bucky: Damn you really are good at interrogation

-

Bruce: I've taken up puzzles as a hobby. It's actually really relaxing

*Box is missing the last piece*

Bruce: *sighs, erases the 61 under the 'Days Without Hulk Incident' sign*

-

Natasha: Kings

Bucky: Go fish. Sevens?

Natasha: Nada. Fives?

Bucky: Shit. Here

Sam: I thought y'all were playing poker, are you for real playing Go Fish?

Natasha: Our pockets got cleaned out so we quit. The poker game is over by Steve

Peter: HAHA SUCK IT OLD MAN, AMERICA JUST WENT BANKRUPT *pulls giant pile of animal crackers to himself*

-

Steve: Do you want to play catch?

Wanda: What?

Steve: Um. Do you want to watch Hannah Montana?

Wanda: I don't even know what you're talking about

Steve: Maybe I could show you how to brush your teeth?

Wanda: Steve you're really scaring me

Steve: The article said to do it together! *shows phone*

Wanda: Are you getting parenting advice from wikihow? Did you even read it or were you just skimming the pictures

Steve: ...Well why'd they put toothbrushing in the photo if it wasn't a good bonding activity?

-

Sam: Why are your titties so bouncy man. Is it to deflect bullets?

Steve: What did you just say about my chest...

Sam: Hey I call em as I see em, and they're staring right at me.

-

Peter: Yo Mr. Stark wanna see a backflip?

Peter: Oh Cap come see my front handsprings

Peter: Natasha watch this aerial cartwheel!

Tony: Why did you tell him you were in the circus. Now that the idea's in his head all he does is jump around and cause noise complaints from downstairs

Clint: C'mon it's cute! He's talented

Bucky: I'm gonna tell him it doesn't count because he has superpowers and that he's a cheat

Tony: But that'll ruin his confidence

Bucky: God I hope so

[iid-smile]

"you look like a kento guy."

for a moment, nanami glances up from his book, raising an eyebrow at you. "i am a 'kento guy'. my name is kento. you know that, love." he makes sure to speak gently, not only because it's evening, but because he doesn't want you to believe he's annoyed or upset.

"oh, i know." you giggle cheekily, snuggling up to his side and wrapping your arms around one of his. his night shirt feels smooth on your cheek as you rest it on his shoulder, your clinginess never failing to cease. "ken, kenny... kennedy. eggs benedict. you remind me of eggs benedict."

just how did nanami's name progress to a completely unrelated dish? you don't even know yourself.

"oh?" by his tone, you can tell he was getting amused by your silly antics, flipping a page in his book. you look up at him with wide eyes, admiring everything about him as you usually do, the stubble that's been growing out a bit included.

"exactly! see, somebody gets it." you shake his arm in giddy excitement. "you just remind me of eggs."

your husband can only sigh, though he's willing to try to make something out of this conversation. "just what are you on about?" he inquires, placing the hardback down on the table beside the armchair. giving you his full attention, he prods your legs to rest on top of his, and keeps them tucked by placing his free hand over the back of your thigh.

"eggs benedict!" you shake his arm again, now trying to make him realise whatever you're reiterating to him. "do you not get it?"

"i'm afraid i don't understand, dear." he circles his thumb over your skin, warming you up, even though it was just a bit. "are you hungry, perhaps?"

just when you're about to deny, your stomach growling was a clear answer. you stay silent for a while, quietly and hesitantly speaking up. "can you make me something to eat?"

"eggs benedict?" he lightly teases, raising an eyebrow.

for someone who's mentioned eggs benedict a lot in the last few minutes, you've never actually had it yourself. "will it taste good?"

"i'll try to make it good for you, love."

[taylor-titmouse]

hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator

i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.

this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.

i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:

DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE

hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.

and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.

you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.

okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS

good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.

porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!

as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.

while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!

to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY

hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.

god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!

this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).

okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!

also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.

abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.

I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT

kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.

please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.

as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.

[anotherlongstoryshort]

Things about the Wisdom Saga that have plagued me all damn day

Legendary

Whether intentional or not, Miguel's Telemachus really sounds like a younger version of Jorge's Odysseus. And that hurts.

"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" The layers. Could he go out and hunt for his father? Could he find his 'legendary' strength within himself? Or will Odysseus be the 'monster' he finds?

"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength" And his call is answered T_T

20 years.

Antinous fully interrupts this bop. Rude.

Ayron sounds legitimately scary and Telemachus taking a stand is so O.O

Little Wolf

I wanna fight this guy. Love that Athena agrees. (The beat of the song and sharp bursts of vocals really emulate blows.)

The quaver on "I don't know how".

Athena is immediately charmed by Telemachus' enthusiasm. She sounds so fond.

The fact she sees heart in him as an advantage when it was Odysseus choosing heart over mind that drove them apart. Guh.

Did she tell him to bite Antinous? XD

"Oh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard." The change in her perspective is already so apparent - she wouldn't have admitted a mistake or miscalculation to Odysseus.

We'll Be Fine

"I had a friend before..." A FRIEND? FRIEND?!?!

An admission that she didn't fully appreciate what Odysseus was going through, that she feels guilty for having "missed it all".

It's unclear to begin with if she's come to Telemachus for Odysseus, or to try and replace him. Both are equally heart-breaking.

"I don't know who your friend is, I don't know what he's like" UNKNOWINGLY ECHOING HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN 'LEGENDARY'. NO IT'S FINE I'M FINE.

"The best day of my life because I got in a fight and I didn't die! :D" Telemachus, child, please.

"We'll be fine" using the same run as "this is my goodbye" T_T

Him immediately offering up friendship to Athena, like Odysseus once did, must hit her so hard. "You're a good kid." Yes he is - because he's more like his dad than he knows.

Love in Paradise

"Old friend..." FRRRRRIIIIEEEENNNNNDDDDD!!!!!

10 years.

The memory fragments sounding so fraught and chaotic together, hitting harder because they're hitting Athena all at once. She missed a lot.

"She's my wife." "Anyways..." Calypso, girl, please.

Love that they're singing completely different melodies through the first half of this song for two reasons: because Odysseus is revisiting previous motifs, once more trying to hold onto the man he was, and also because it shows Calypso is not willing to compromise on what she wants.

"Last I checked goddesses can't die." We'll come back to this later.

Then Odysseus realises he is truly trapped and he sings along to Calypso's melody in muted horror.

POLITIES OUT HERE STILL HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE.

Just the words "open arms" are enough to confront Odysseus (again) with all he's lost. All he hears are screams.

And the one he screams out for is Athena.

"He needs my help." NO KIDDING GO GET YOUR BOY.

God Games

"Father, God, King..." There's a lot to unpack in that fun family dynamic.

"To untie apprehensions that were placed on that Greek?" Zeus is like, nobody likes that guy, why do you care?

The gods being called out like X Factor finalists is everything.

So there's a great contrast against the previous song - unlike Calypso, Athena is matching each of her singing partners with their tone and beat as she convinces them. She isn't winning by 'imposing her will', she's meeting them where they are.

Rational arguments work until Aphrodite, where Athena says "please" for the first time. She softens to appeal to Aphrodite, which is why Ares has to step in.

The way she says his name XD

Ares' lines sound like as much of a fighting chant as 'Little Wolf' did, which makes it all the better that the mention of Telemachus is what gets her to 'fight back'.

"His son's my friend!" YES HE IS. And Athena of all people declaring "a broken heart can mend" is fascinating. Can't help but wonder if she's talking about herself coming around to forgiving Odysseus.

"Never once has he cheated on his wife." Handwaving the source material is worth it for this line ALONE.

Zeus is so pressed by everyone openly knowing he cheats on Hera. Stop doing it then my dude.

Ares sounding genuinely concerned for Athena is doing things to me. Goddesses can't die, huh?

Her time motif flitting in and out like a weak heartbeat.

The soft piano of 'Warrior of the Mind', touching on a whisper of 'Legendary', then rising to a triumphant crescendo as Athena regains herself. I will be forever haunted by visions of Odysseus and Telemachus helping her to her feet.

And then, finally, she faces her own father and begs. Because Odysseus and Telemachus deserve a chance to be father and child.

The parallel, by the way, of Athena entering this saga to help an outnumbered Telemachus, and now closing it with him/Odysseus unknowingly helping her win her own battle too. JORGE HOW DARE YOU T_T

[unluckilyimnot]

OMG I JUST NOTICED YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN THAT JUST MADE MY DAY!!!!

anyways can you do headcanons for bllk character introducing you to either their teams or the press iykwim

pretty please I loveeeee your posts so much <333333

Introducing their s/o to their team - isagi, kaiser, rin, hiori, chigiri

m.list | rules

Note : Hiii you're so cute lslsls thank you sm for your request <3 I chose this one cause somebody else asked about the press finding out so I'll do both !

Nobody is mentioned so I'll choose but feel free to ask for your fav ! 

Isagi 

He's so shy but happy omg

He's probably blushing if they keep saying how pretty you are 

Those who ask a bit more about you earlier to isagi will probably start a conversation more easily 

But you love to talk with everyone!

If you're famous, they'll ask about it or how you two meet or even about your job 

But if you're someone like you and me they're begging to know how you two meet 

They're probably expect something really cheesy based on isagi himself 

He probably get teased a lot afterwards but he takes it easy 

he’s just so happy you can finally meet them 

Rin 

he’s pretty but awful so everybody think he’s bitchless

no need to say that they GASPED when he introduced you

you seem so sweet, what are you doing here ?

“He paid you ?” i definitely see some of them ask you that - like bachira 

wait until you tell them that you asked him and he wasn’t planning of doing without you mentioning it 

they’re shocked, they feel betrayed and are ready to make a scene to him before you calm it down 

everybody want to know more about you, asking you lot of questions to the point that rin has to claim you back 

holding your waist or wrist to remind you that he’s there too 

I think it goes more simply that he imagined at first 

He's always happy when they ask about you even if he doesn’t show it

Chigiri 

just like that time they react when they saw his sister, they will ask him who you are even if it’s obvious that you’re his s/o 

one or two would probably ask you out on a date to make him mad - tbh it’s really funny to see

he’ll blush and become protective over you, adorable 

he would roll his eyes at their jokes but as long as you’re laughing at them, it’s fine with him

he’ll get tease by the gaze he sent you all night, sweet and soft, speaking all the love he has for you before his tongue can 

he’s a bit cash if they’re doing to much though, they have to be careful around his lover 

Hiori

he talks about you regularly so they’re all happy when he mentions that you’ll tag along for a team meal they’re HYPE

they’re so happy to see you it’s cute, you wish every partner is welcome that way 

you’re so soft spoken it totally make sense that you ended up with him 

you’re probably a little reserved and overwhelmed at first but they’re calmer than you thought 

it’s also a lot funnier than you thought so, even if you stay glued to hiori’s side, you can enjoy the night to the fullest ! 

he checks on you frequently, catching a lot of eyes and they make sure to let him know 

you two are just so cute for sure damn couple goal 

Kaiser 

ness is jealous lmao 

he’s very cocky and proud to introduce you to them 

you’re so precious and most importantly : you’re his - he can’t just keep it to himself 

sharing the world about you start with his teammates

he’ll tell them how you two meet and how you fall in love with him - as if he wasn’t the one down bad - with his arm around your shoulders to keep you close 

he trusted them but they can’t touch <3 even in a friendly way 

you’re really welcome though, they’re all very interested in you and your life/job 

it goes pretty smoothly, even if ness is a little salty 

Sae 

he’s reluctant to say the least, he knows he won’t see the end of it 

you’re amazing, he loves you unconditionally

but you’re so good like that that he knows he will have to deal with them asking how you’re doing and he doesn’t like it 

he says yes anyway, and one day he brings you with him at an unofficial meeting 

they’re so shocked but happy to see you in real life (you’re on his lock screen) : they want to know everything

sae is a rather intimate person and doesn’t talk much about his personal life so you’re the one who will tell them the cheesy stuff

yes you received death glares, you you still answer them with a big smile 

you’re funny, they already really love you and they can’t wait to see you more around

I hope you liked it !

[dark-konohagakure2]

just aizen and baby trapping... can you see the vision... just him being a yan and breeding his squad member bc she keeps going agasint his word, aizen doesnt want her to ingure herself, after all aizen needs her for his plan..

tw: noncon, breeding, baby trapping, manipulation, power imbalance, abuse, size difference, humiliation, forced orgasm, sensory manipulation

All characters depicted are 18+

Aizen is a very calm man, frighteningly so, it would take the most dire of dire circumstances for him to so much as break a sweat, let alone lose his cold composure. Very few things irritate him, although insubordination is one thing he can't stand for, especially if it's continuously being done by the same person over and over again.

Normally Aizen would murder or mentally break anyone who'd dare to defy him, but he can't do that in this special case, this minion of his is required for his grand plan, and losing her would be a minor setback, a slight annoyance even. She's a tiny piece in his vast puzzle, but even the absence of the smallest of pieces will make the picture look incomplete. So instead of murdering or imprisoning her, Aizen has a different way to force her to remain by his side.

Aizen could easily just use his ability to instil feelings of adoration into her, but that would be too easy, not very fun for him. While usually a very serious man, Aizen does desire some recreation from time to time, and he isn't fully immune to desiring pleasures of the flesh, and if he can use those pleasures to ensure his plan stays on track, then Aizen will gladly indulge himself on her.

Aizen doesn't need to worry about getting her alone, he knows Las Noches inside and out, so if he needs to find her, he'll do so very quickly, whether she's preoccupied or not. Aizen's expression is unreadable, he's smiling like usual, but it doesn't reach his eyes, it never does reach those cold, calculating eyes of his. His touch is deceptively gentle yet firm as he holds her in place, his words as vague as usual.

"Why are you so insistent on defying me, hmm? Are you perhaps upset about not having enough responsibilities in my ranks? Well don't worry, I'll give you the most important responsibility of them all..."

His vagueness doesn't last very long when his intentions become very clear, as he pulls down her underwear, keeping her in place with his superior strength and size. Aizen is only doing this to remind her of his authority and to give her his 'responsibilities', but that doesn't mean he can't have a bit of fun with it, cruelly mocking her for being such a silly girl in thinking she can defy him without consequence, his mockery of her not stopping when when he's balls deep in her.

He isn't gentle, but he isn't rutting into her like an untamed beast in heat, he's not a simpleton who thinks with the head between his legs, instead he'll move at a pace that's somehow both too slow and too fast at the same time, the tip of his long cock brutally poking against her cervix with each thrust as he prepares to bestow her with his progeny.

Somebody walking in on them is a very real possibility, in fact she won't even know if someone is able to see them or is watching them, because Aizen will manipulate her perception to make it impossible for her to see anybody but him, so she has no clue if they're alone or surrounded by spectators. He's feeling especially cruel, so Aizen will tell her how good a show she's putting on for his Espada, even if they're completely alone.

There is one word that can be used to perfectly encapsulate Aizen's entire being: manipulation. Aizen can manipulate people with both his words and his Kyoka Suigetsu. In this case, Aizen will use his Kanzen Saimin to control not her mind, but her bodies reactions. He won't tell her that he's controlling her body of course, letting her believe that she's cumming uncontrollably on his cock all on her own.

"My my, cumming again are we? Your mouth might lie, but your body certainly doesn't... This is precisely why you're more suited for breeding than fighting."

Aizen will walk away from this lovely little encounter feeling very accomplished. Not only did he put a wayward puzzle piece back into it's proper place, but he ensured that it stays there permanenty. He doesn't really care about having a child, children aren't very interesting for him to interact with, but she certainly needs a baby in her fertile little womb, it'll do wonders to keep her compliant.

[notmorbid]

these violent delights.

dialogue prompts from these violent delights by micah nemerever.

i never told you my name.

who puts those awful ideas in your head?

you're forever assuming the worst.

what's that face? you look like you're going to cry.

you're one of those people who worry all the time, aren't you?

i don't worry, i ruminate. they're distinct actions.

nothing made you. you just are.

beautiful things are supposed to hurt.

people tell you you're shy all the time, don't they?

i don't know how i ever got on without you.

a little trouble is a good thing for a young person.

i wasn't born yesterday. i know what kids get up to.

it's good to have guns to stick to.

you could do anything to me and i'd let you.

i'm not ready to be seen. not yet.

i don't need you to treat me respectfully. i'm not made of glass.

tell me you love me, at least. please. i need to know somebody does.

do i look normal? i can't tell if i look normal.

you can get away with anything, as long as you act like an authority on the truth.

don't tell me what i want.

you know you're just about the worst liar i've ever met.

i don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you.

you're so square, you're a cube.

i just want you to believe me when i tell you you're worth something.

there are limits to what you can expect people to understand, without living it.

you can't fight everybody all the time. you still have to live with them.

i forget how blue the sky can be outside the city.

i'm going to push you off a cliff, you fucking boy scout.

thank you for trusting me with this.

be a kid while you still can.

please believe in the things i try to tell you, instead of the things you think you deserve to be told.

if the sun touched you for even a moment, you'd go up in flames. like a vampire.

your voice changes when you're angry.

what a lonely, dreary thing it is to know the truth.

you never look away, even when your eyes are closed, but i'm never certain you can see what's really there.

tell me you need me. in those words.

can i tell you something? that i'm all but certain you won't believe?

i never lie to you. but sometimes, i wish i could.

you never let me pretend the truth is alright when it isn't.

you have a profound, elusive sadness about you.

you didn't. please tell me you didn't.

you and your awful little games.

why would i bother to grow my own conscience when you're always around to pester me?

you're going to help me escape.

this house is a shadowbox, never meant for human things.

you have no right to stop me, and you're not going to try.

you're sweet, when you want to be.

do you want me to kill ____? i mean it.

it might do you good to be an orphan.

you're just so sincerely creepy.

wealthy people pay handsomely for the privilege of ignoring cries for help.

i've never seen you like that before. not once.

i've decided to learn to be impulsive.

the worst damage humans do isn't rooted in malice, but in thoughtlessness.

there's such a thing as right and wrong. anyone can figure out the difference if they're willing to think for themselves.

there's no part of you i can't see.

i don't want to hurt you. please don't let me.

you're ridiculous, sometimes. but that's alright.

i don't want you right now. go home.

i'm not like you. i don't even have a shape of my own to hold anything else in place.

i'll never matter the way you do, and you know it.

say what you need to say.

if you say the word 'deserve' one more time, i'm driving us off a bridge.

i've been meaning to talk to you about ____.

i'm worried about what you're getting into.

you don't see me. you can't. you never could.

it's your life. you're entitled to make your own mistakes.

i want you to know you deserve better. you don't have to put up with ____.

you scare the hell out of me. you really do.

you look the same way you always have.

i was worried i'd lost you.

i'll take care of you. i don't need you to be brave.

all i want to do is make you happy, and you're the unhappiest person i've ever met.

i would rather be cruel than weak.

i want you to let me be nice to you today. i don't care if you think you deserve it.

this place looks like somewhere in a jigsaw puzzle.

it's always been real for me. every second.

please don't say anything to my mother.

we can't fix it if you don't tell me what happened.

i'll call you when i can stand the sight of you. don't hold your breath.

hiding the truth is still lying.

i thought you'd finally trust me if you knew i'd kill for you.

i'm just as much of a monster as you are.

i was missing part of myself my whole life, until i met you.

righteous fury leaves no space for fear.

you can always talk to me. about anything, okay? i love you no matter what.

you played [game] in school, didn't you?

no one tolerates boredom worse than the idle rich.

someone needs to be looking after you.

you know you can't actually stop me, right?

i want to be able to look at you.

when you need to, you will understand.

i'm only ever early when i'm afraid.

people talk themselves into the strangest things when they want to look impressive.

in the end, there's no difference between trusting someone and underestimating them.

[covenists]

✦ CHAMPION TO YOUR HEART, L. NORRIS

everybody knows about his relationship with a motogp rider, but there's another side that they didn't know about this.

req: Could you do a smau about lando dating a MotoGP world champion? And the media expects him to be bitter because she’s younger than him and a world champion when he hasn’t won a race, but in reality he’s just immensely proud

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

circuit ricardo tormo

liked by marcmarquez93, landonorris, and 281,905 others

yourusername the prettiest night in valencia

view 15,720 comments...

alex_albon call me, we're going out (of course with lilymhe too🙄)

⤷ lilymhe what was that mean??????

username bf lando is appearing in the likes i see 👀👀

username she looks so good with the suittt😍😍

username y/n ilysmmmm

username slayed the fits as usual

lissiemackintosh i would love to see you race there

⤷ yourusername and i would love to see you be on the paddock

⤷ username two mothers interacting

username that hair is so good

username the prettiest motogp rider fr

username can't wait to see you on the track on sunday

username imagine we heard her national anthem for the nth time this year is the same as max's wilhelmus in f1

username i woke up and i'll heard y/n's anthem

username idk if i want to be her or lando rn

username she's literally so cool

username it's practically a cycle bcs if i watch f1 it's gonna be dutch anthem, and if i watch motogp it's going to be italian anthem. EVERY TIMEEEEE😔💀

lando.jpg

liked by lailahasanovic, yourusername, and 711,735 others

lando.jpg elevator love

view 8,288 comments...

username wait who took the pic?🫢

⤷ daniel3.jpg it's always been me😔😔😔

⤷ maxfewtrell OR me????🤨

⤷ mclaren 🤨🤨 or me

⤷ quadrant OR ME????

⤷ yourusername now what the hell's going on

username he looks like lance

username SOMEBODY SAID HE LOOKED LIKE LANCE💀💀😭

⤷ lancestroll that's not me...

⤷ username but how do lando looks like him

⤷ username who took this is a skinwalker

⤷ danielricciardo i waste all of my talents for this

username okay just admit now who took this

⤷ username girl no one know just let that be a mystery of the year

username she looks so good thoooo

username she looks drunk

landonorris wait how do i look like lance

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daniel3.jpg

liked by landonorris, yourusername, fabioquartararo20 and 159,733 others

daniel3.jpg he is a boyfriend of the current motogp world champion, and still eat a canned choco cookies 🫵🏻

view 31,607 comments...

landonorris i don't know why am i even liking this but CHOCO COOKIES IS GOOD CHANGE MY MIND 🙄🙄

⤷ yourusername i don't really liked the canned one but idk 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

⤷ daniel3.jpg look she's siding with me

⤷ landonorris the BETRAYAL

⤷ username noooo y/n i thought we were something

⤷ carlossainz55 but true though tinned cookies are very dry

⤷ landonorris NOT YOU TOO 😭😭😭

⤷ username he made it looks so good though i am tempted😭

⤷ oscarpiastri it's three holes out already, is he finished it though?

⤷ danielricciardo clean. 🧽

⤷ landonorris DON'T BELIEVE HIM

username he looks cute when he's laughing

username if my granny was there, she's going to throw away the cookies and only to keep the tin

username remind me more of that pedro pascal skit on snl

fernandoalo_oficial poor little norris

username why am i hearing it in my head???

mclaren 🍪🍪

username why is he always taking his random ass picture?

⤷ username they're husband and wife do you not realize?

⤷ username the 'HUSBAND AND WIFE' part got me on the floor🫵🏻😭😭😭

username how is he always taking their cute moments

⤷ danielricciardo tell him that it's his turn to capture me and heidi's moments now

⤷ yourusername nah cause she's liking a girl riding a motorcycle more now

⤷ danielricciardo SAY SIKE

⤷ heidiberger_ 🤭

⤷ username omg babe SAME

⤷ username crazy how this is just from lando's pics

⤷ landonorris and why is it always me

username why am i still curious about why did y/n decided to have a boyfriend like him

⤷ username what do you mean?

⤷ username yeah i mean she's the first woman world champion in motogp this year and how about him? name his win in the first place.

⤷ username they both got their own advantage and disadvantage

⤷ username but does he even got jealous or smth or just uses her for fame?

⤷ username bro wdym they both are literally famous even before they're started dating.

yourusername

liked by georgerussell63, centralcee, and 391,433

yourusername you're a bad influence.

view 22,560 comments...

username why am i having a bad feeling here

username bad influence who now girl

username where is lando when we need him the most

⤷ username he ain't going in the liking section ⁉️⁉️❗❗😧😧😨

username NAH LANDO WHATD U DO

username but she suited car tho

username wonder who the bad influence would be... 🫢🤔

⤷ username i see mercedes here then idc

⤷ username don't make me think it's lewis

username lando boy what you do

username i see george, but i don't see lewis

⤷ username relaaaax i think the bad influence means that she's now into car

⤷ username keep being delulu darling we're all with u

⤷ username but what if

⤷ username 🫷no don't even

username convertible and the racing jacket suited her sm

YOURUSERNAME'S INSTASTORY

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caption: stealing pecco63 spare helmet for a bit

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yourusername

liked by fabioquartararo20, marcmarquez93, landonorris, and 1,590,726 others

yourusername how's my new look? #ad

👤: hrc_motogp, repsol

view 46,714 comments...

danielricciardo HOLY SHIIITT

danielricciardo i swear it's far from my radar

⤷ landonorris same honestly

username SHE HAS TATTOOS??????

username daniel's holy shit is me rn

username omg rosalia.vt he encontrado "LA" motomami de todas las motomamis.

username SHE GON BRUNETTE??

pecco63 brown looks good on you😁

⤷ yourusername they've always told me right😛

landonorris i started my day with this is a great starter

⤷ yourusername don't forget to brush your teeth!

⤷ username "DON'T FORGET TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH" AJSJWJWIS SHE'S MOTHERING HIM ALREADY 😭😭

username she is literally mother

username landonorris how about we switch gf

⤷ landonorris no thank you, i'm perfectly fine with this one😋

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landonorris

liked by alex_albon, carlossainz55, and 287,012 others

landonorris i feel like a proud father 👶🏼

👤: yourusername

view 10,358 comments...

username THE HAIR WAS FAKE???😭💀😭😭😭😭😭

⤷ username we all knew it's just a wig bruv

username i know she must be so exhausted like damn she look fainted

username their hand holding is so cute

username MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE

georgerussell63 R.I.P. repsol y/n 🪦

carlossainz55 doodle master™

⤷ yourusername 😒

⤷ landonorris i had a bad feeling about this

⤷ yourbestfriend because she's gonna get u rn

username still not get over to the fact that hot mama version of y/n is just for an ad

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yourusername

liked by isahernaez, francesca.cgomes, and 548,163 others

yourusername celebratory kisses (thx maxfewtrell)

view 56,820 comments...

maxfewtrell i think you should do her technique on thanking for pictures

⤷ landonorris oh c'mon i've thanked you many times 🙄

⤷ maxfewtrell yeah and many times too that you've forgotten about that

⤷ username y/n posting about her and lando's kiss after her wins, meanwhile lando and max:

⤷ username this world separated into max and lando and y/n and lando

⤷ username i'll definitely into the first one

username this one's special for their kiss only

username he is so proud of her, and this post is everything

username his interview about her is melting my arse out, i want him

username i feels like it's their hard launch

⤷ username they've been together since 2 yrs ago

username idk but i hate when media is always like "oh you're the man and why are you not having the wins like your gf did" like they should stfu for a sec

⤷ username and what's that question they throw on him like "is she younger" i mean ???

username but anyway i'm happy that they're both are happy with each other's wins and losses, the two of them truly deserves the whole world.

username they just have to accept the fact that they're just belong like that. with or without the championship.

lando.jpg

liked by carlossainz55, schecoperez, and 641,782

lando.jpg wild wind.

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