#I'll do this if somebody tell me if they wanted to see!

[impish-baby]

I totally haven’t been obsessing over poppy playtime wdym…

Could you do an evil scientist with his favorite creation? He tests on his other experiments ruthlessly but you? He absolutely adores, no mater how aggressive you get he just admires his perfect creation.

Mhmmm I've been thinking of writing poppy playtime stuff since chapter four came out.. especially with doughy because he is baby (older sib figure! reader or maybe child! reader..)

Platonic yandere! Scientist x Experiment! reader Drabble - 🥼💔

There's a small skip to Grayson's steps as he walks down this certain wing of the hospital, humming a soft tune to himself. He's simply overcome with joy, these days he doesn't get to visit his child often, every chance he gets should be celerabrated.

The director doesn't even realize what a brilliant thing they've already discovered. A pity, but it bodes better for him in the future. Soon he'll be able to dedicate all his time to you, helping you reach your fullest potential. Grayson can't wait for the carnage.

The smell of iron hits him first before his eyes land on the form curled up in the corner.

"Oh dear, sweetness, I thought you said you wanted a friend?" He can't help but tease a little although you're obviously distressed, it's just a bit amusing how you can't seem to help yourself. Kneeling down in front of you, he gently lifts your face up to look at him. "What happened? Come on, tell me."

"I- I didn't mean to-" besides the blood, there's snot and tears everywhere, you'll definitely be needing a bath. "I forgot there was somebody new in the room.. didn't mean to hurt them, I just got scared.."

"My goodness, you're such a silly baby, huh?" He wipes away at the mess coating your cheeks with his sleeve, "begged and begged to be able to see someone else and then you go and hurt them."

You don't need anyone other than him, but you're a clueless little thing sometimes. A proper demonstration was the only way to get you to see clearly how true that is, "It's your fault for insisting so much, they'd still be here if you weren't such a selfish brat. Don't worry though, I'll always be here, no matter how terribly you behave. Now, can Papa give you a bath without you throwing a fit about it?"

[alwayzadorbs]

Just found your account and you're automatically my fav luci writer my god?? YOU'RE FEEDING US Could you do lucifer with a virgin mc who's oblivious to advancements but gets extremely shy if lucifer spells it out for her👉👈

You're in luck, Anon! I hope you don't mind if I refer to MC with gender-neutral pronouns! I'll still describe other stuff but I just feel more comfortable writing that way :D I'm glad you like my writing so much, it means the world to me! I'll try to write more for you! <3

rating: Smut, 18+

You couldn't deny that you had feelings for Lucifer, you often thought about holding his hand or what it would be like to date him. So you couldn't help but smile when he offered to Tutor you for upcoming testing. It was a rare occasion for Lucifer to be able to tutor you instead of sticking it on Satan again, on account of the workloads Diavolo annually places on him.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

You had brought your schoolwork to Lucifer's room, setting the stack of papers on his glass table, and sitting down on his couch. Lucifer came to sit next to you, pressing his leg against yours.

Clearing his throat, Lucifer said, "Let's begin with Spells and Potions..." Trying not to be distracted by his thigh touching yours, you jotted down the most important things.

"So, What do you think this one is?"Lucifer said, pointing towards the question and leaning over.

"I think that the answer is..." You trailed off, unsure if what you were about to say was right or wrong.

"Hm, Almost correct, Can you tell me what's wrong with this excerpt here?" He said, lightly placing his gloved hand on your knee, using his other hand to point towards the line of text you misinterpreted

"Uh," you paused, trying to sort your thoughts, there's no way Lucifer did that on purpose, it must've been an accident, no reason to get worked up... "Right here where I wrote eye of eye of newt, it's supposed to be, uh.."

Lucifer's hand trailed up from your knee to your thigh "Eye of hellfire newt, a small but distinct difference, it's easy to get confused when making this potion. The effects are, adverse and unwieldy." he chuckled lowly, lightly squeezing your thigh

"Let's continue, next is...Anatomy class," He continued, removing his hand from your thigh to pull his coat off "You need to understand a Demon's anatomy," his hands drifted to his necktie, wiggling it slightly before pulling it undone.

"Our bodies inside and out are actually quite similar, except for a few differences..." Lucifer explained, going into more detail, pulling his gloves off to unbutton his shirt, the first few buttons popping away from their spots, revealing his soft skin, and collar bones. "So tell me, where do you think my heart is? Go ahead, point." He shifted his body towards you on the couch, welcoming you to make the next move.

"W-wait what?" Your face flushed, Why did he just strip?! "I, I'm not sure.." you said, looking away, even though you wanted to stare.

Even when Lucifer went to the beach, with you and all his brothers, he wore a SPF shirt, never showing his muscles in their full glory, but now, you could finally see what he hit underneath his shirt. His ample pecs were decorated by his flush, pink nipples. You could eat up the sight for hours,, but it's wrong to look at somebody like that when they're trying to be professional, or at least that's what you thought was going on.

In all reality, you were completely oblivious to the fact Lucifer was coming on to you. And Lucifer was completely oblivious to the fact you were a virgin.

"Here, I'll show you." He said, smirking, guiding your hand with his towards his chest "If you press firmly enough, you can hear my heartbeat."

your breath stopped for a moment, his heart beat rapidly, and you could feel it radiating in your fingertips. Something about the way your hand pressed against his chest lit a fire in your loins. As soon as you felt it, heat flushed through your face, looking away and pulling your hand back.

"uh- sorry, yeah I felt your heartbeat," you said, awkwardly, feeling embarrassed. You subconsciously let your hand wander to your face, trying to hide a bit in your hand.

"Hm, Whats wrong, Mc?" Lucifer sighed, in a flirtatious tone. He reached out, guiding your head to face him with his index finger under your chin, with his thumb lightly placed on your chin.

He smiled, "Feeling embarrassed? That's hardly the most...sensitive subject for Demons." Now staring you down, with those gorgeous ruby eyes, there's no way you can look away.

He gripped your hand with his, guiding it to his frame once again "Lungs, spleen, liver,,," He continued to guide your hand down, with the corresponding areas of his organs, until, he could guide no longer, reaching his waistband.

"Mc," Lucifer edged closer, leaning in, cupping your face with his hands. "Kiss me."

Blush covered your face, stunned, you squeaked out, "Why?! I..I thought we were studying.." You said, reluctantly.

Lucifer laughed, "Mc, I want to be with you. Must I spell it out further? I want to have sex with you" He blurted out, shutting his eyes, blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"But..." you paused, looking away "I'm..uh, I'm a virgin!"

Before you could look back to see his reaction, Lucifer was on top of you, pressing his knee in between your legs. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." he chuckled, kissing you softly while tugging at the buttons of your blouse.

Lucifer took his time, savoring the moment when the buttons came undone, revealing your gorgeous skin. He trailed his kisses down, nipping at your neck, down to your chest. He used one hand to gently roll one of your nipples around his pinchers, lightly squeezing and pulling them as he took the other into his mouth. He would circle his tongue around your nipple, ever so lightly grazing his teeth on them and nipping, earning a surprised gasp from you.

He pulled away, gliding his hands down your sides to the waistband of your bottoms, sliding them right off. Drifting his hands down your stomach and dipping his fingers into your underwear, Lucifer used his middle and ring fingers to slowly circle your clt.

pushing one finger into your wetness, curling it before pulling it almost out, then repeating the process until you were ready for another finger. two fingers, then three, then he figured you were ready, not for a fourth finger, but for him.

He pulled his fingers out, sitting up over you. he unbuttoned his pants, tucking his thumbs into his waistband, freeing his touch-starved cock, It twitched, begging to be pleased.

He slid his dick in between your folds, teasing you before putting it in, He pushed against your entrance until he met resistance. you rolled your head to the side, wincing a bit, feeling a tearing sensation.

As resistance snapped, Lucifer groaned, throwing his head back momentarily as he fully entered you. He sighed, "I want to see your reaction, look me in the eyes, Little lamb."

He slowly rocked his hips in and out, raking his hands towards your chest, squeezing your boobs, and rubbing your nipples with his thumb. He trusted deeper into you, causing you to gasp. He chuckled, His hand drifting from your chest to your clit again, using his thumb to rub circles while pounding you into next week.

"Oh, Lucifer!" you moaned without thought, but that only fueled him to vigorously fuck you harder.

He pulled out, flipping you on your stomach like you weighed less than air, he gripped your hips, bringing them into the air before pressing inside you again. "Mm~ you're so tight" Lucifer groaned, leaning into you, reaching deeper than he did before. He thrust in and out, slamming into your G-spot, every time he hit that sweet spot you saw stars.

At this point, you weren't aware of how much and how loud of noises you were making, being fucked numb, heat swelled in your loins, tickling you just the right way. You were so close to finishing, but couldn't quite get there

"Ah, Don't stop, Oh shit, Please don't stop!" You cried out, a panting, blubbering mess.

Lucifer only pushed himself deeper inside you, withdrawing his hand to spank you, slapping your ass then squeezing the area. You yelped when his hand hit your ass, looking back at him with pleading eyes. He smirked at you, proud of how easily he could make you crumble

"I'm so close," he sighed, the room filled with both of your moans and pants of pleasure "Mc, Mc!"

He slammed into you, your legs shaking as you were sent over the edge, feeling waves of pleasure crash into you, before being filled with hot liquid, bringing your orgasm to a peak. you grabbed desperately onto the couch, knuckles nearly turning white as you moaned out Lucifer's name.

After a moment, he pulled out of you, his cum spilling out as well. you both caught your breath for a minute before you sat up,

"Um, thanks for helping me study, Lucifer," you said, blushing, covering your body with your hands.

he laughed "Do you think I'm done with you? Not yet, stay in my room tonight, Mc." He looked at you with those seductive eyes "You're mine, remember?"

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

"Whats that on your neck, Mc?!" Mammon asked, on the walk to school

"oh, um, its nothing, you know humans they're super fragile!" you laughed nervously, hoping he wouldn't realize it was a hickey from your 'study' session with Lucifer.

"Humans are so weak, nothing like The Great Mammon!" He boasted, quickly forgetting what just happened

"sure, humans are fragile!" Asmo laughed, knowing the truth behind the 'bruise' on your neck.

(side note: thank you for enjoying my stories enough to send an ask, sometimes I get writers block and its extremely helpful, I hope this wasn't too short. love ya, Reader, and Anon!)

[sir-myst-cake]

First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕

[darkness-in-the-face-of-the-deep]

I'm bored, how are you? + I needed something warm coloured, so yeah. More my afk au (this au has a name, I swear)

Все ведь знают, что Ортрус красивый в Ансиэля. And au Ansiel is a short guy. Heheh. It's so funny to draw them together

Я слишком люблю рисовать Ансиэля на самом деле. Настолько нормально любить свои же дизайны? Спасите

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[cerbreus]

had a trainwreck of an in person consult for my sleeve tattoo yesterday only made better by the itty bitty yorkie shop dog adoring me and sitting on my lap the whole time.

[sunnywalnut]

No but I'm still looking for the Denny's that is still in the middle of nowhere

having cis guy friends is so funny like youll ask if they wanna hang out and theyll send you to the dark woods

[secondpersonpoetry]

hi! heard the released “Merry Christmas, Please Don’t Call” (which i’ve seen you’ve heard live, if i’m not mistaken!!) this morning and i don’t know if there’s really a particular vibe/dynamic/ship hrpf-wise (personally haven’t yet been able to put my finger on it) that quite relates but the lyrics have been rotating in my head all day and i was wondering if you had any thoughts? hope you have a good one! <3

OH ANON HAVE I EVER SEEN IT LIVE!!! and the second that song came out i zoomed it straight into my fic playlist and unfortunately there are so many guys this could be. right now the one that's resonating is, of course, the golden boy and his haunted ghost themselves: mcstrome.

i am thinking about connor, specifically, after the stanley cup final. that game seven. how angry he was, how loud the silence when they told him he won the conn smythe. how close he's come before and again and again lost. there's nobody else to blame but himself. he's in the empty room and he knows why (1)

at!! your best!!! you were magic!!! oh, golden boy. connor the anointed, of course. at the very beginning of his career we always knew he was something special and who wouldn't have fallen in love with him? weren't all of us a little bit dylan strome in awe of the generational talent? we were all bathed in radiant light just by being in the vicinity (2)

don't even tell 'em that you know me breaks my heart (3). in terms of building a narrative i think i've said before there is a universe where connor/dylan were together before the draft and to protect both of them, dylan breaks up with him. connor says i love you and dylan says i don't. because he doesn't, you know? he loved connor. he loved davo. he can't be in love with connor mcdavid, first overall pick of the edmonton oilers. i'd rather be hurt forever than have to watch us try to make this work and destroy us.

and after connor mcdavid left the otters, dylan strome captained them to a memorial cup win. what a haunted home, eh? to be captain of the team you and your best friend were on, only now he's left you? don't call me to tell me about your rookie season with the oilers--we both know about your broken collarbone. don't call me to tell about becoming the youngest captain in franchise history when i stepped into the shoes of your captaincy here. don't call me. (4)

narratively: dylan's the one who broke connor's heart and his own but by god it wasn't easy. we both know what happened, you went first overall. please don't make this harder on me. please don't call.

this verse can be about the weight of dylan having to live up to connor's standards and always being measured by him. i would just like to bring up the connor stepping stone chart for absolutely no reason as well (5)

we are, at long last, at the potential future of now: dylan strome, happy, smiling, thriving on the washington capitals. connor, on the oilers. i'm not yours, dylan can say. haven't been for a long time. it took some time but i made this. please don't call and ruin this for me, stay out of my life. i don't want you or need you (6)

[p.s. this took a while because when i received this ask i was a) immediately possessed to write this verse by verse breakdown i had never thought of before and then b) immediately plagued by the idea of making you a little graphic (above the read more) and finally got to do it after banging out all the actual lyric thoughts two (?) weeks ago. emerging two and a half hours later from the fugue state of GIMP with 37 layers in this bad boy hope you enjoy!!!]

[dunmeshistash]

Laios Backstory

I've been wanting to compile the comics that talk about Laios backstory for a while, especially after reading the "Laios and Family" extra from the new Adventurer's Bible that re-contextualizes it from Falin's POV.

So I'll be posting and discussing parts from the manga and extras that talk about/show his and Falin's Backstory. Spoilers Ahead.

First, here are their timelines from world guide, its a nice way to situate whats happening and how old they are.

Starting with chapter 52 - Bacon and Eggs, Laios tells his and Falin's story to his party for the first time, after being asked by Senshi why they came to the island.

Laios left the village a year before Falin did. Falin was 9 and Laios was 12, they only met again 9 years later when Laios deserted the army.

"That's why I decided that I would never leave Falin behind again. At least until she finds somebody new that she wants to be with."

Then there's the "Laios and Family" extra from the new adventurer's bible:

I really enjoy the recontextualization from Falin's POV. Especially since we get to understand their parents better.

And Laios finally explains that he left so he could build a better life for them where Falin wouldn't be treated badly. Only to fail and realize she was doing better without him.

They both want what's best for each other but they're too silly.

"I thought if we parted ways at that point, I'd probably never see him again. So I went with him, without thinking about where it would lead."

Going back to Chapter 42 - Nightmare with this context.

You can really tell how he feels like a failure.

Rereading those helped me appreciate the Caravan Extra and Arrival on the island from daydream hour better.

This poor guy failed at everything he had set out to do at this point. And when Falin says "Long time no see, big brother!" she really means it, she hasnt seen a well groomed Laios in almost 10 years.

[hurtspideyparker]

Part 3 of if Civil War didn't end in divorce and everyone lived together

Part 1 Part 2

-

Mission debrief:

Thor: Don't feel bad Banner, I mean is there anyone at this table who hasn't killed somebody?

Peter: *slowly raises hand*

Natasha: Don't worry you're still young

Peter: 😟

-

Steve: Has anyone seen my shield?

Clint: *points outside*

*Peter, Thor, and Bucky playing frisbee with it*

Steve: I guess I'm not saving those orphans today :/

-

Clint: Tony I said seedless watermelon, are you trying to kill me?

Tony: You're a big boy, you aren't gonna choke

Clint: No but it might... grow

Tony: Oh please don't tell me you still think watermelon seeds grow inside your stomach if you swallow them

Clint:

Pietro: Bro got a licence to kill but still has a Jack and the Beanstock level of education

-

2:34 am

Tony: *leaving Steve's bedroom*

Sam: *leaving Bucky's bedroom*

Tony:

Sam:

Tony: Let's never speak of this?

Sam: Yep.

-

Steve: Tony, you're the smartest person I know. You understand anything you set out to study, your passion is remarkable, innovation beyond anyone on the planet, and an incredible memory

Tony: Thank you thank you

Steve: So why do you STILL NOT CLOSE THE KITCHEN CABINETS

Tony: Uh

Steve: SOME OF US ARE TALL TONY. SOME OF US HAVE BRUISES ON THEIR FOREHEADS BECAUSE OF THIS NEGLIGENCE

-

Tony: Goodnight kid *tucks Peter into bed and kisses his forehead*

*Clint, Vision, Thor, and Dum-E waiting outside the room*

Tony: Oh come on. All of you?

*nodding*

Tony: Vision you don't even sleep. Dum-E I am not kissing you again you gave me chemical burns last time

Dum-E: *lowers head and whirs sadly*

-

Bucky: Don't sit so close to me

Sam: Why, cause I'm black 🤨

Bucky: No because you smell like ass sweat

Sam:

Sam: Why, cause I'm bl-

-

During training:

Natasha: *flips Steve and slams him onto his back*

Peter: Woah! I wanna know how to do that

Natasha: *flips Peter and slams him onto his back*

Natasha: Seems like you already know how

-

Tony: Okay Merida, you and me, darts for a hundred bucks. My suit vs. your freak self

Clint: I'll take that bet

*7 minutes later*

Tony: I have advanced AI targetting technology. SUPER. SUIT. How did I lose?!

Clint: It can do a lot of things Tony but at the end of the day it can't super suck this di-

-

Bucky: Sam's in medical so I'll do the mission debrief with you

Natasha: That was fast, I thought you'd still be coddling your boyfriend the rest of the day

Bucky: What. How do you know about us.

Natasha: I don't, it was a joke...

Bucky:

Natasha:

Bucky: Damn you really are good at interrogation

-

Bruce: I've taken up puzzles as a hobby. It's actually really relaxing

*Box is missing the last piece*

Bruce: *sighs, erases the 61 under the 'Days Without Hulk Incident' sign*

-

Natasha: Kings

Bucky: Go fish. Sevens?

Natasha: Nada. Fives?

Bucky: Shit. Here

Sam: I thought y'all were playing poker, are you for real playing Go Fish?

Natasha: Our pockets got cleaned out so we quit. The poker game is over by Steve

Peter: HAHA SUCK IT OLD MAN, AMERICA JUST WENT BANKRUPT *pulls giant pile of animal crackers to himself*

-

Steve: Do you want to play catch?

Wanda: What?

Steve: Um. Do you want to watch Hannah Montana?

Wanda: I don't even know what you're talking about

Steve: Maybe I could show you how to brush your teeth?

Wanda: Steve you're really scaring me

Steve: The article said to do it together! *shows phone*

Wanda: Are you getting parenting advice from wikihow? Did you even read it or were you just skimming the pictures

Steve: ...Well why'd they put toothbrushing in the photo if it wasn't a good bonding activity?

-

Sam: Why are your titties so bouncy man. Is it to deflect bullets?

Steve: What did you just say about my chest...

Sam: Hey I call em as I see em, and they're staring right at me.

-

Peter: Yo Mr. Stark wanna see a backflip?

Peter: Oh Cap come see my front handsprings

Peter: Natasha watch this aerial cartwheel!

Tony: Why did you tell him you were in the circus. Now that the idea's in his head all he does is jump around and cause noise complaints from downstairs

Clint: C'mon it's cute! He's talented

Bucky: I'm gonna tell him it doesn't count because he has superpowers and that he's a cheat

Tony: But that'll ruin his confidence

Bucky: God I hope so

[iid-smile]

"you look like a kento guy."

for a moment, nanami glances up from his book, raising an eyebrow at you. "i am a 'kento guy'. my name is kento. you know that, love." he makes sure to speak gently, not only because it's evening, but because he doesn't want you to believe he's annoyed or upset.

"oh, i know." you giggle cheekily, snuggling up to his side and wrapping your arms around one of his. his night shirt feels smooth on your cheek as you rest it on his shoulder, your clinginess never failing to cease. "ken, kenny... kennedy. eggs benedict. you remind me of eggs benedict."

just how did nanami's name progress to a completely unrelated dish? you don't even know yourself.

"oh?" by his tone, you can tell he was getting amused by your silly antics, flipping a page in his book. you look up at him with wide eyes, admiring everything about him as you usually do, the stubble that's been growing out a bit included.

"exactly! see, somebody gets it." you shake his arm in giddy excitement. "you just remind me of eggs."

your husband can only sigh, though he's willing to try to make something out of this conversation. "just what are you on about?" he inquires, placing the hardback down on the table beside the armchair. giving you his full attention, he prods your legs to rest on top of his, and keeps them tucked by placing his free hand over the back of your thigh.

"eggs benedict!" you shake his arm again, now trying to make him realise whatever you're reiterating to him. "do you not get it?"

"i'm afraid i don't understand, dear." he circles his thumb over your skin, warming you up, even though it was just a bit. "are you hungry, perhaps?"

just when you're about to deny, your stomach growling was a clear answer. you stay silent for a while, quietly and hesitantly speaking up. "can you make me something to eat?"

"eggs benedict?" he lightly teases, raising an eyebrow.

for someone who's mentioned eggs benedict a lot in the last few minutes, you've never actually had it yourself. "will it taste good?"

"i'll try to make it good for you, love."

[taylor-titmouse]

hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator

i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.

this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.

i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:

DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE

hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.

and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.

you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.

okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.

YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS

good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.

porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!

as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.

while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!

to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!

YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY

hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.

god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!

this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).

okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!

also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.

abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.

I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT

kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.

please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.

as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.

[anotherlongstoryshort]

Things about the Wisdom Saga that have plagued me all damn day

Legendary

Whether intentional or not, Miguel's Telemachus really sounds like a younger version of Jorge's Odysseus. And that hurts.

"If I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" The layers. Could he go out and hunt for his father? Could he find his 'legendary' strength within himself? Or will Odysseus be the 'monster' he finds?

"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength" And his call is answered T_T

20 years.

Antinous fully interrupts this bop. Rude.

Ayron sounds legitimately scary and Telemachus taking a stand is so O.O

Little Wolf

I wanna fight this guy. Love that Athena agrees. (The beat of the song and sharp bursts of vocals really emulate blows.)

The quaver on "I don't know how".

Athena is immediately charmed by Telemachus' enthusiasm. She sounds so fond.

The fact she sees heart in him as an advantage when it was Odysseus choosing heart over mind that drove them apart. Guh.

Did she tell him to bite Antinous? XD

"Oh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard." The change in her perspective is already so apparent - she wouldn't have admitted a mistake or miscalculation to Odysseus.

We'll Be Fine

"I had a friend before..." A FRIEND? FRIEND?!?!

An admission that she didn't fully appreciate what Odysseus was going through, that she feels guilty for having "missed it all".

It's unclear to begin with if she's come to Telemachus for Odysseus, or to try and replace him. Both are equally heart-breaking.

"I don't know who your friend is, I don't know what he's like" UNKNOWINGLY ECHOING HIS OWN THOUGHTS IN 'LEGENDARY'. NO IT'S FINE I'M FINE.

"The best day of my life because I got in a fight and I didn't die! :D" Telemachus, child, please.

"We'll be fine" using the same run as "this is my goodbye" T_T

Him immediately offering up friendship to Athena, like Odysseus once did, must hit her so hard. "You're a good kid." Yes he is - because he's more like his dad than he knows.

Love in Paradise

"Old friend..." FRRRRRIIIIEEEENNNNNDDDDD!!!!!

10 years.

The memory fragments sounding so fraught and chaotic together, hitting harder because they're hitting Athena all at once. She missed a lot.

"She's my wife." "Anyways..." Calypso, girl, please.

Love that they're singing completely different melodies through the first half of this song for two reasons: because Odysseus is revisiting previous motifs, once more trying to hold onto the man he was, and also because it shows Calypso is not willing to compromise on what she wants.

"Last I checked goddesses can't die." We'll come back to this later.

Then Odysseus realises he is truly trapped and he sings along to Calypso's melody in muted horror.

POLITIES OUT HERE STILL HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE.

Just the words "open arms" are enough to confront Odysseus (again) with all he's lost. All he hears are screams.

And the one he screams out for is Athena.

"He needs my help." NO KIDDING GO GET YOUR BOY.

God Games

"Father, God, King..." There's a lot to unpack in that fun family dynamic.

"To untie apprehensions that were placed on that Greek?" Zeus is like, nobody likes that guy, why do you care?

The gods being called out like X Factor finalists is everything.

So there's a great contrast against the previous song - unlike Calypso, Athena is matching each of her singing partners with their tone and beat as she convinces them. She isn't winning by 'imposing her will', she's meeting them where they are.

Rational arguments work until Aphrodite, where Athena says "please" for the first time. She softens to appeal to Aphrodite, which is why Ares has to step in.

The way she says his name XD

Ares' lines sound like as much of a fighting chant as 'Little Wolf' did, which makes it all the better that the mention of Telemachus is what gets her to 'fight back'.

"His son's my friend!" YES HE IS. And Athena of all people declaring "a broken heart can mend" is fascinating. Can't help but wonder if she's talking about herself coming around to forgiving Odysseus.

"Never once has he cheated on his wife." Handwaving the source material is worth it for this line ALONE.

Zeus is so pressed by everyone openly knowing he cheats on Hera. Stop doing it then my dude.

Ares sounding genuinely concerned for Athena is doing things to me. Goddesses can't die, huh?

Her time motif flitting in and out like a weak heartbeat.

The soft piano of 'Warrior of the Mind', touching on a whisper of 'Legendary', then rising to a triumphant crescendo as Athena regains herself. I will be forever haunted by visions of Odysseus and Telemachus helping her to her feet.

And then, finally, she faces her own father and begs. Because Odysseus and Telemachus deserve a chance to be father and child.

The parallel, by the way, of Athena entering this saga to help an outnumbered Telemachus, and now closing it with him/Odysseus unknowingly helping her win her own battle too. JORGE HOW DARE YOU T_T

[unluckilyimnot]

OMG I JUST NOTICED YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN THAT JUST MADE MY DAY!!!!

anyways can you do headcanons for bllk character introducing you to either their teams or the press iykwim

pretty please I loveeeee your posts so much <333333

Introducing their s/o to their team - isagi, kaiser, rin, hiori, chigiri

m.list | rules

Note : Hiii you're so cute lslsls thank you sm for your request <3 I chose this one cause somebody else asked about the press finding out so I'll do both !

Nobody is mentioned so I'll choose but feel free to ask for your fav ! 

Isagi 

He's so shy but happy omg

He's probably blushing if they keep saying how pretty you are 

Those who ask a bit more about you earlier to isagi will probably start a conversation more easily 

But you love to talk with everyone!

If you're famous, they'll ask about it or how you two meet or even about your job 

But if you're someone like you and me they're begging to know how you two meet 

They're probably expect something really cheesy based on isagi himself 

He probably get teased a lot afterwards but he takes it easy 

he’s just so happy you can finally meet them 

Rin 

he’s pretty but awful so everybody think he’s bitchless

no need to say that they GASPED when he introduced you

you seem so sweet, what are you doing here ?

“He paid you ?” i definitely see some of them ask you that - like bachira 

wait until you tell them that you asked him and he wasn’t planning of doing without you mentioning it 

they’re shocked, they feel betrayed and are ready to make a scene to him before you calm it down 

everybody want to know more about you, asking you lot of questions to the point that rin has to claim you back 

holding your waist or wrist to remind you that he’s there too 

I think it goes more simply that he imagined at first 

He's always happy when they ask about you even if he doesn’t show it

Chigiri 

just like that time they react when they saw his sister, they will ask him who you are even if it’s obvious that you’re his s/o 

one or two would probably ask you out on a date to make him mad - tbh it’s really funny to see

he’ll blush and become protective over you, adorable 

he would roll his eyes at their jokes but as long as you’re laughing at them, it’s fine with him

he’ll get tease by the gaze he sent you all night, sweet and soft, speaking all the love he has for you before his tongue can 

he’s a bit cash if they’re doing to much though, they have to be careful around his lover 

Hiori

he talks about you regularly so they’re all happy when he mentions that you’ll tag along for a team meal they’re HYPE

they’re so happy to see you it’s cute, you wish every partner is welcome that way 

you’re so soft spoken it totally make sense that you ended up with him 

you’re probably a little reserved and overwhelmed at first but they’re calmer than you thought 

it’s also a lot funnier than you thought so, even if you stay glued to hiori’s side, you can enjoy the night to the fullest ! 

he checks on you frequently, catching a lot of eyes and they make sure to let him know 

you two are just so cute for sure damn couple goal 

Kaiser 

ness is jealous lmao 

he’s very cocky and proud to introduce you to them 

you’re so precious and most importantly : you’re his - he can’t just keep it to himself 

sharing the world about you start with his teammates

he’ll tell them how you two meet and how you fall in love with him - as if he wasn’t the one down bad - with his arm around your shoulders to keep you close 

he trusted them but they can’t touch <3 even in a friendly way 

you’re really welcome though, they’re all very interested in you and your life/job 

it goes pretty smoothly, even if ness is a little salty 

Sae 

he’s reluctant to say the least, he knows he won’t see the end of it 

you’re amazing, he loves you unconditionally

but you’re so good like that that he knows he will have to deal with them asking how you’re doing and he doesn’t like it 

he says yes anyway, and one day he brings you with him at an unofficial meeting 

they’re so shocked but happy to see you in real life (you’re on his lock screen) : they want to know everything

sae is a rather intimate person and doesn’t talk much about his personal life so you’re the one who will tell them the cheesy stuff

yes you received death glares, you you still answer them with a big smile 

you’re funny, they already really love you and they can’t wait to see you more around

I hope you liked it !

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM WICKED *  assorted dialogue from the screenplay, adjust as necessary

it's good to see me, isn't it?

no need to respond. that was rhetorical.

because there has been so much rumor and speculation... innuendo, outuendo... let me set the record straight.

why does wickedness happen?

that's a good question.

like every family, they had their secrets.

one thing led to another, as it so often does.

i'm right here. i always will be.

you want to see something wonderful?

what have you done this time?

now you've made your sister cry.

you see... it couldn't have been easy.

as you can imagine, i have much to attend to.

is it true you were her friend?

you must understand, it was... a long time ago.

remember, it's not goodbye, it's farewell.

they're going to miss me so much.

you know what i believe? strangers are just people i've never met.

what? what are you staring at? do i have something in my teeth?

let's get this over with.

i for one am sorry that you're forced to live with this.

it's my intention to major in sorcery.

perhaps i could help.

offering to help someone you don't know with a skill you don't have. i'm sure everyone's duly impressed.

i could care less what other people think.

i doubt that's true.

i'll miss you.

if anything should happen to her...

you can of course come visit me whenever you want!

how tragically beautiful you are.

i just need to find my room.

this was my chance. my new start.

magic is merely the mind's attempt to wrap itself around the impossible.

i shall tutor you privately.

thank you for covering for me.

how long have you had this talent?

if you can learn to use your powers in the right way...

do you really think this is fair?

i'm just shutting the door.

i saved you some space, by the way.

how did you do it? tell me.

i can keep a secret.

some of us are different.

we cannot escape the past.

the past helps explain our present circumstances.

who is responsible for this?

it's all right. i have no friends.

once you learn to harness your emotions, the sky's the limit.

this is much bigger than just some words on a chalkboard.

is this how you go through life, running amok, nearly trampling anyone in your path?

i guess there's a first time for everything.

were you looking for something? or someone?

i met the rudest person last night.

what do you do for fun around here?

i would do anything for you.

it was nothing. i love helping others.

i'm about to have the happiest night of my life!

i don't follow.

what's in the punch?

i don't feel sorry for you! you're great!

my personal opinion is that you do not have what it takes.

i hope you prove me wrong. i doubt you will.

i can't watch.

it's not like it's your fault.

may i cut in?

that was your very first party?

you tell me a secret.

you really don't have to do that.

i can't wear things like that anyway.

pink goes good with green.

i'm afraid it's out of our hands.

you're not being told the whole story.

somebody's got to do something!

you think i'm really stupid, don't you.

you don't need to be scared of me.

you think i want to be this way?

so i should just keep my mouth shut? is that what you're saying?

you're bleeding.

this is your chance to make good.

i've heard so much about you.

i am changing my name.

don't you cry. you're going to have the wonderfullest time.

something bad is happening to them. they need you.

what did i tell you?

you've known all along... from the moment you met me.

you must trust me.

that's why i need you.

i meant every word about you having a home here.

[dark-konohagakure2]

just aizen and baby trapping... can you see the vision... just him being a yan and breeding his squad member bc she keeps going agasint his word, aizen doesnt want her to ingure herself, after all aizen needs her for his plan..

tw: noncon, breeding, baby trapping, manipulation, power imbalance, abuse, size difference, humiliation, forced orgasm, sensory manipulation

All characters depicted are 18+

Aizen is a very calm man, frighteningly so, it would take the most dire of dire circumstances for him to so much as break a sweat, let alone lose his cold composure. Very few things irritate him, although insubordination is one thing he can't stand for, especially if it's continuously being done by the same person over and over again.

Normally Aizen would murder or mentally break anyone who'd dare to defy him, but he can't do that in this special case, this minion of his is required for his grand plan, and losing her would be a minor setback, a slight annoyance even. She's a tiny piece in his vast puzzle, but even the absence of the smallest of pieces will make the picture look incomplete. So instead of murdering or imprisoning her, Aizen has a different way to force her to remain by his side.

Aizen could easily just use his ability to instil feelings of adoration into her, but that would be too easy, not very fun for him. While usually a very serious man, Aizen does desire some recreation from time to time, and he isn't fully immune to desiring pleasures of the flesh, and if he can use those pleasures to ensure his plan stays on track, then Aizen will gladly indulge himself on her.

Aizen doesn't need to worry about getting her alone, he knows Las Noches inside and out, so if he needs to find her, he'll do so very quickly, whether she's preoccupied or not. Aizen's expression is unreadable, he's smiling like usual, but it doesn't reach his eyes, it never does reach those cold, calculating eyes of his. His touch is deceptively gentle yet firm as he holds her in place, his words as vague as usual.

"Why are you so insistent on defying me, hmm? Are you perhaps upset about not having enough responsibilities in my ranks? Well don't worry, I'll give you the most important responsibility of them all..."

His vagueness doesn't last very long when his intentions become very clear, as he pulls down her underwear, keeping her in place with his superior strength and size. Aizen is only doing this to remind her of his authority and to give her his 'responsibilities', but that doesn't mean he can't have a bit of fun with it, cruelly mocking her for being such a silly girl in thinking she can defy him without consequence, his mockery of her not stopping when when he's balls deep in her.

He isn't gentle, but he isn't rutting into her like an untamed beast in heat, he's not a simpleton who thinks with the head between his legs, instead he'll move at a pace that's somehow both too slow and too fast at the same time, the tip of his long cock brutally poking against her cervix with each thrust as he prepares to bestow her with his progeny.

Somebody walking in on them is a very real possibility, in fact she won't even know if someone is able to see them or is watching them, because Aizen will manipulate her perception to make it impossible for her to see anybody but him, so she has no clue if they're alone or surrounded by spectators. He's feeling especially cruel, so Aizen will tell her how good a show she's putting on for his Espada, even if they're completely alone.

There is one word that can be used to perfectly encapsulate Aizen's entire being: manipulation. Aizen can manipulate people with both his words and his Kyoka Suigetsu. In this case, Aizen will use his Kanzen Saimin to control not her mind, but her bodies reactions. He won't tell her that he's controlling her body of course, letting her believe that she's cumming uncontrollably on his cock all on her own.

"My my, cumming again are we? Your mouth might lie, but your body certainly doesn't... This is precisely why you're more suited for breeding than fighting."

Aizen will walk away from this lovely little encounter feeling very accomplished. Not only did he put a wayward puzzle piece back into it's proper place, but he ensured that it stays there permanenty. He doesn't really care about having a child, children aren't very interesting for him to interact with, but she certainly needs a baby in her fertile little womb, it'll do wonders to keep her compliant.