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Digging Graves for your Morals; Or, The Ethical Problem of Outlawry
Hello, yes, I am here again. This one is shorter, I swear (it’s under four thousand words, even). If this is the first post from me you’re seeing, this is a follow-up to my prior essay posted here on the game The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, although it should be able to mostly stand alone.
At the end of my last essay, I touched on both the game’s nearly uncompromising moral scepticism and relativity, but I didn’t really dig into it. I outlined that the game only textually frames actions as ‘morally bad’ in the context of a morality set by the society and the world that has treated them as no better than farm animals raised for the slaughter. Well, I have a lot to say on the topic of ethics on the topic of The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, so buckle in, this one’s going to talk about the social contract, moral scepticism and everyone’s favourite topic: Mrs. Graves.
As usual, this was originally posted and formatted for on Sufficient Velocity and you can perhaps more easily read it there. Spoilers abound, and my content warning from last time still applies.
She’s not too hot on either ethics or her mother
The Meat of the Matter
Since a lot of this is optional or otherwise missable information, let’s review the premise the game gives us. If you’re already aware of all of this, I apologise, it won’t take long.
First off the bat, the quarantine at the start of the game was a hoax-driven money-making scheme of which you can pick up more-or-less all the relevant details of. This is entirely missable and by the time it’s possible to discover, our protagonists have better things to dwell on and have dialogue about, so I’ll give you a summary of what you can deduce from reading the notes and thinking about it.
The quarantine is an organ harvesting operation, as per some documents you can discover in the wardens’ office. They entrap the residents, test their blood types and starve to death those they deem surplus to requirements — alternatively the starvation itself could be their method of ‘preparing the harvest’, there’s evidence in both directions and it hardly matters — harvesting the organs of the others for sale. As our protagonists are AB-typed, the ‘universal recipient’ or ‘most selfish blood type’, they’re some of the first on the chopping block.
If you read through the newspapers and the documents in Mr. Washing Machine’s car, you can discover that ultimately ToxiSoda are responsible, and a similar thing is happening in a different city under the guise of a ‘chemical leak’. Should you further investigate matters, you will find mentions of the ‘man behind it all’, the doctor, or the Surgeon, as the fandom have been referring to him — you may recall Mrs. Graves mentioned someone similar! Yeah, he’s the guy who runs ToxiSoda, who are themselves partners with the water company that faked the parasite outbreak in the first place.
It’s all a life insurance scam, apparently
How much the details of the operation matter is something open to interpretation — it might just be something for players to figure out and Episode 3 will not cover the Surgeon at all, or he might play a major part; it's not particularly relevant to this essay. What matters is that it happened at all — indeed, it’s fairly easy to justify Ashley and Andrew in everything they did in Episode 1 (flashbacks aside), arguing that if they’d made any other decisions they’d have died — an argument that the victims dug their own graves, even if the Graves siblings put them in them. How correct that is is a matter of debate, but that you can make the argument at all matters, and we’ll be returning to this later. In my last essay (and again in the introduction here), I made an analogy to farm animals, raised without love and for slaughter. Let’s put a pin in the ‘for slaughter’ part for now and take a look at the ‘without love’ part.
That’s right, it’s time to meet the parents.
As Andrew notes, there are significantly more compelling reasons for you to say that
They Fuck You Up, Your Mum & Dad
They really do.
Our charming protagonists are, as with many things depicted in this game, an exaggerated, almost farcical example of this phenomenon — one that’s just grounded enough to still feel very real, just like the siblings themselves.
The late and lamentable Mrs. Graves is just the same: originally a teen mother, hopelessly out of depth with two difficult children — even if one was good at masking it — and an unreliable, emotionally unavailable (at least to their children) partner who can’t hold down a job, ends up foisting them off on each other and doing a Parental Negligence because she simply Cannot Cope. That’s the real part. The part where she gets paid off by an organ harvesting operation to leave them to die, that’s the borderline-farcical exaggeration that throws all the nooks and crannies of her character into sharp relief.
Mrs. Graves does not have a good relationship with either of her kids. Having self-admittedly fobbed the job of raising Ashley off on her son, to the degree that they did not even celebrate her birthday as kids, both of them hold differing degrees and types of resentment for her.
For Ashley, it’s hate — perhaps not quite so clear cut as that, as it’s her that calls for the eulogy and she shows some potential signs of discomfort while cleaning up her parents’ corpses, but by and large, it’s fairly simple and straightforward, as usual for Ashley. The sentiment is not exactly unreturned, either.
This brings Ashley’s heart great delight!
The most clear incident raising her from everyday ‘neglectful’ to ‘wow she wanted nothing to do with this kid’ is the optional ‘birthday cake’ scene, obtained by finding the present in Ashley’s first ‘transitory world’ dream, in which we see Ashley’s birthday and the founding of a lemon cupcake tradition between Leyley and Andy. She has received nothing from her family, notes that her ‘friends’ would say they were busy before she even told them the schedule and Andy takes her out to buy cupcakes with his pocket money.
This scene gets a callback in Andrew’s dream later. Just remember to Ask Nicely, rather than Kill Her.
Parents of the year, everyone.
So with Ashley it’s as straightforward and obvious as she herself is — she hates her mother, her mother hates her. With Andrew, as with Andrew himself, it’s a fair bit more complicated. His mother is a much more nuanced figure, who is believable in her role as an unfortunate teen parent who was trying her best. He has a degree of trust in her against, seemingly, his own good judgment In her conversation with Andrew, she acknowledges her fault in raising him and seemingly sincerely tries to offer him a ‘way out’, an olive branch.
I think many people have had relationships where they might say this
This scene in particular intrigues me, because she is acknowledging fault in a way that Andrew strictly avoids doing — and well, there’s nothing Andrew likes more than a good way to avoid acknowledging any fault of his own. With her dominant relationship over their father as a model for Andrew to draw comparisons to his own relationship with Ashley with, it’s no surprise that the narrative resonates with him to the point of ‘Accept’ being many people’s first completion.
Of course, that’s not all there is to it. There is a fascinating contrast with her later conversation with Ashley, where she — despite accusing Ashley of brainwashing Andrew — refers to Leyley and Andy as ‘two psychos’ and states that she always knew they were responsible for Nina’s death and that, implicitly, they owe her for not turning them in.
There's something about mother-daughter relationships here that I just do not have the time or reading to dig into, unfortunately.
Meanwhile, when Andrew interrogates her on her possession of their death certificates, she has… an interesting, plausible story about a life insurance scam and claims that she really did think they died in the fire, implicitly denying the claim that she sold them. It’s entirely possible that she’s describing the details of the ‘scam’ correctly — you can even buy that she genuinely does care for Andrew in some way, if not Ashley, but her claim about being an honest, grieving parent shocked at their deaths… doesn’t add up?
This is a very normal reaction to your supposedly dead children showing up in your house.
As Andrew himself notes after hearing her story, she’s full of shit. This gets into speculation, because there are a few ways to read this, but the most plausible ‘gist’ is that she and her partner were paid off in money and jobs to not raise a fuss — the surgeon she mentioned is almost certainly the founder of ToxiSoda, remember?
The overwhelming difference in presentation between how she speaks to Andrew and Ashley invites investigation — and when Andrew turns down her offer and tells her he isn’t interested in her offer in Decline, her reaction isn’t… despair, it’s shock — and well, there’s a good reason for that.
Why do you think she did it in the first place?
This is the happiest we see her
Well — it’s so she can finally fit into society. That white picket fence, that idyllic 1950s life — hell you can call it the American Dream. She wants that, or as close to it as she can get — the working-class teen mother, living in poverty, aspiring to the middle-class. It’s a very common, very real and very grounded motivation.
And to that end, she effectively sold off her children. It’s no wonder she can’t fathom why Andrew wouldn’t choose the same.
That’s the part that makes you think — just like the deaths in Episode 1, well- maybe the siblings are justified here, too. It’s a weaker argument, but it’s still one you can make under many common moral paradigms today — what goes around comes around, all that jazz. Just look at how awful she was to Ashley.
She’s finally found what she’s been striving for.
Here’s the thing, here’s the thing though — what, reasonably, could she have done? Andrew and Ashley briefly highlight this in conversation about Ashley’s ‘friends’ in Episode 1 — was she supposed to fight gunmen to try and break them out? Throw food to the balcony from four stories?
Moreover, as she herself says to Andrew… would anyone really have been able to do better than her in her position? She was seventeen when Ashley was born, living in poverty with a partner who couldn’t even remember Andrew’s name when he was a kid. Anyone would have had difficulty, let alone with these kids.
Her evils are — they’re not any deliberate action, but rather… prompted inaction. She didn’t have the emotional energy, resources or plain capability to properly parent her children, she didn’t have any solutions to their murder of Nina in a state so blatantly hostile to its underclass, she didn’t have a way to connect with Ashley and she took the money rather than fight a futile and likely suicidal battle against a corporation and its armed goons in a dystopian setting.
Ashley, notably, does not deny this.
Her sin is the one we’re all, I think, guilty of — that of not trying hard enough, that of inaction in the face of difficult tasks, of not standing up on principle because it’s just too much that day and you don’t have the spoons, you’ll do it tomorrow (no you won’t). It’s a petty, everyday kind of evil — that of not doing enough.
Is that enough to condemn her? Certainly, there’s a pretty manipulative read of her that likely has some truth to it — in the locked door in Ashley’s dream in ‘Decay’ you can discover that she has a ‘not-hatched’ tar soul — but consider that lens — the game won’t make up your mind for you, so you’ll need to choose that for yourself.
The dad is interesting in terms of negative space — but he’s mostly important in that he doesn’t matter, so I decided to not fit him in here. He has art, though — just no sprite, because, well, he’s never mattered to either sibling.
The Contract We Call Society
Right, it’s time to get a little bit Theoretical in here. Not much, but a little. Social contract theory is a complex topic with a lot of nuance, much of which I will be eliding in the name of not writing a twenty thousand word paper on semiotics, law, and anthropology, but the short analogy is… the idea that as long as you play by society’s rules, as long as you are a good citizen, a good person, the state, or the community, will take care of you.
In a number of ways, the harshest penalty levied by many historical states and legal codes was not death, but rather the criminal status of outlawry, a practice that’s cropped up a number of times in history — the practice of no longer being protected by the law. This meant one could be killed or worse with impunity — you were no longer protected by mob justice and, while overexaggerated as a term of reference, certain texts from Medieval England refer to outlaws as bearing a wolfshead, ‘for the wolf is a beast hated by all folk’. Never minding that wolves are actually delightful, this was a time when wolves were actively hunted and sold by people — and the same was intended to happen to outlaws. They were ‘fair targets’ as far as society was concerned, no longer to be treated as your fellow citizens.
This was the gravest punishment on the books, for most of these legal codes — something saved for those who had broken the social contract so completely that there could be no turning back (civil outlawry is… a bit different, that’s not the topic here). Among others, a modern critique of the concept is that it offers no incentive for improvement, no incentive to change or to cease harming society — if an outlaw has none of the social contract’s protections, what reason do they have to obey… any of the social contract? If that seems familiar, well, let me ask you this:
What if the state or community fails its end first? What responsibility does the innocent outlaw have to that contract?
It’s an interesting phrasing, that the world is better off.
It’s time to talk about the incest, and part of why it’s there. The cannibalism too, but that’s less impactful here. If you’ve seen me elsewhere, you might have seen me say that the incest is a load-bearing narrative pillar — in large part due to it being a critical facet of the siblings’ relationship, but in another large part due to it being an equally critical part of how the game uses taboo.
A taboo is in this context something that is considered repulsive and to be avoided by society. It’s a more complex term than that — you can also use it for certain sacred actions or utterances that are only permitted to certain people, for example — but that’s what it is here. Swearing, premarital sex, BDSM and murder are, approximately from weak to strong, some example taboos held in modern Anglospheric society.
Strong taboos are a staple of horror — they shock, they disgust, they draw people’s attention and it’s that last one that’s critical here. Incest is a very strong taboo — while I am absolutely not segueing into its historical context, the very well-established Westermarck effect gives it a certain timelessness and immunity to desensitisation that most other taboos don’t have — murder, to contrast, is a taboo we’re largely desensitised to in modern media and works of modern media have to put in actual work to make a murder seem horrifying — through atmosphere, cinematography, evocative prose etc.
And this is important because the use of taboo I’m covering in this essay is that the incest is used to invite judgment — it is so ingrained as a ‘wrong thing’ in people’s brains almost regardless of background that it forces the player to engage with the work morally. And that’s where the fun starts.
I’ve mentioned before, very briefly, about the juxtaposition of tone between the Burial & Decay endings, contrasting with the very monstrous difference in morality. Burial is remarkably light-hearted — they play around with the drain blockage, they joke about their mother’s personality and this is further exaggerated on the Love path, where Andrew is much more comfortable with casual contact and the two make a game out of how far they can throw their parents’ skulls, the humour is directly contrasted against their abhorrent actions.
I’ll be real Ashley is far more merciful than I, I’m shuddering at the thought of that gunk in my hair
In comparison, Decay is… bleak. I’ve seen it being referred to as being ‘emotionally sandblasted’ and, yeah I think that’s fair — it’s uncomfortable, it’s heavy and it’s just not fun. And this is the route in which, if you chose Trust into Accept, Andrew has bought into the narrative that his mother’s offered — that he can fit just fine into society if he wasn’t stuck, if not for Ashley — the route that ‘fits’ most closely to the social contract, to Andrew feeling the guilt that we think he should and hating the monsters that they’ve become, as the social contract deems them. Given the pains the game takes to attach the player to the protagonists, this normative moral ending is very easily interpreted as the bad ending.
And well, isn’t it?
Thing is, as mentioned above, the social contract has never held up its end for them. The game takes careful pains to point out to a viewer that they’ve never had the life that society promises people, so why do its moral standards apply?
The game invites you to judge the characters, and in the same motion, asks you from what principles you judge them, making a pretty good guess in that, like most people who haven’t spent a large amount of time navel-gazing and reading some very boring books by very dusty old men, they come from the society around you.
Love even has Ashley express this sentiment directly after the incestuous dream — she asks you — well, Andrew, but this is also something for the player to mull over — why this is what’s engaged your morality or sense of revulsion, rather than the desecration, cannibalism or murder.
Andrew and Ashley are both very funny and very fascinating in this scene.
And that’s the framing that it casts all of its own moral judgement in — even the ‘tar-soul’ aspect is… well, it’s unclear what it even means. Mrs. Graves was a ‘not-hatched’ tar soul, after all. Other than that, it’s society and the world being better off without them, rather than any kind of assertion of objective morality. Due to the present of ‘soul colour’, we’ll presumably see the game make some moral statements in Episode 3, but as it stands?
It’s nearly completely morally sceptical, in and of itself — it’s not interested in moral assertions or education, it’s interested in making you question your own morals. Deconstructive (not that kind), rather than dialectic, to be mildly pretentious.
It uses taboo and shock to invite moral judgement, but then uses tone, charm and our instinct to look for the happiest end for our blorbos to get you to recognise that these are principles you yourself brought into the game, rather than any it’s handed you.
To summarise: you’ve brought these principles in from society, but what do the siblings, the protagonists, the villains to the world, owe society? Enough that they should follow them? It failed them first, after all.
Closing Thoughts
This one is a bit less energetic than the last, tragically — my sleeping schedule is the stuff of nightmares recently, I love windy weather. Wait, no the opposite. Huge thank you to everyone who commented on the last one, you are the wind beneath my wings and the main reason I managed to get this out this week.
This essay is a bit more interpretative than my last one — certainly, there are alternative readings and I’ve been toying with the idea of deliberately taking a reading I don’t like very much and writing from that perspective as a demonstrative exercise recently — mostly that you shouldn’t just take my word for things!
Otherwise, if the last bit at the end seemed murky, I apologise — I did try to write a more detailed version, but firstly, it was three thousand words and secondly, I re-read it the next day and I could not understand what the fuck I was talking about. Personally, I blame Derrida — suffice to say that I strongly recommend playing through it with an eye towards considering culpability, morality and why you think certain characters are more or less forgivable than others, and for what deeds. See what you get out of it.
I managed to keep one particular thread open to wrap up with here — I try to keep speculation on Episode 3 content to a minimum in the main essays, but it should be fine here — you might have noticed that I refer to Episode 1 and Episode 2 being on something of a spectrum of justifiability, with the siblings’ actions being ‘more’ justifiable in Episode 1 and ‘less’ justifiable — but still justifiable if you try — in Episode 2.
To continue the thought of the happiest ending being the one in which they step the furthest away from common morality and to further jar the viewers’ sense of morality by contrasting societal morality and blorbo-oriented morality, Episode 3: Burial could continue this trend in having a major victim be someone who, well, has done nothing wrong and isn’t even guilty of bystander syndrome.
I wonder if there’s any good candidates, someone who’s sweet, harmless and will indisputably be an innocent victim…
…I’m sure she’ll be fine
#the coffin of andy and leyley#tcoaal#analysis#essay#ashley graves#andrew graves#mrs graves#nnnnot sure what the next topic will be#might do a deranged take on purpose#this one and the last one have been very grounded#I'll get to my asks tomorrow#probably#I've been busy sorry
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for all my homies who also need to study for their exams
he takes a nap as i study and pinch me if i got distracted lol
#my finals starts tomorrow until next friday#and then i'll have to look for job to work for one month#urgh#i might do commission before work though so ye#gummmyart#doodle#simon ghost riley#self insert
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Preview of the runner up results from this poll. I wish everyone who wanted to see more SVSSS characters from me a merry "I'm So Sorry'.
#poorly drawn SVSSS#SVSSS#mobei jun#shang qinghua#Preview of a much bigger and sillier post while I spend the next few days trying to figure to how go-karts work#I had way too much confidence in my emerging artist skills...I am still going to try my best!#but yeah...I ran out of time to draw today. If the full post isn't tomorrow's upload then it will be monday's#I wish I had more time in the day to do the things I need to do...but alas...#This is one hell of a debut for these two but I think we all know how it goes on this blog.#I unfortunately do not know these two very well besides what I have absorbed through fan posts so these designs are *very* subject to chang#All I know is that MBJ always has his honkers out and SQH looks like he wants to burrow in woodchips for the next decade#50-50 chance I'll unhamster SQH next time I draw him#Mousexian is a prominent feature in my sketchbook and now Shang Qinghamster and join him in being 'unseen beasts'
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EPHRAM BROWN & AMY ABBOTT in every season of EVERWOOD [3/4]
#everwood#ephram x amy#ephramy#everwoodedit#ephramyedit#ephram brown#amy abbott#tvedit#teendramaedit#otpsource#emily vancamp#*#sooo i'm posting two of these in one day sorry i could schedule this for tomorrow but it's finished at a reasonable-ish time why wait#so cute i could die!!!!#and sorry i skipped a lot of key moments and the angsty stuff i'll do more ephramy sets in the future#s4 next
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first batch of "doodles"!! (I spent more time on them than expected)
ropka for @sharkflan
leanne for @gollygeesir
and GORILLA for anonymous :^)
these were all super fun to draw, hope these interpretations are okay!! and thank you for the nice messages <:^)!!!
#my art#anthro#furry#illustration#monster#GORILLA#i love gorillas. that silly online animal in you test always tells me i'm a gorilla so the narcissist in me likes them even more#anyway i definitely won't be able to get to everyone this time but i'll do my best to get as many done over the next couple days!#thank u to everyone who has sent suggestions there's some real good ones this time#if you guys want the full(ish) files then give me a little dm#ALSO dash I'm sorry i forgot to colour leanne's green ears for her doodles but i'll message you a corrected version tomorrow!
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Time for a new toy!
Looks like the box won by a good margin! So, tomorrow there will be a box (and a new cat) in the garden :D
But now we need to know for next week,
(I changed the wording of hat since I realised helmet was more accurate, but it's still the same toy!)
#UTDR#UTMV#Neko Sansume#Sorry this one's late there was the thickest slug of all time on my wall and that took all my attention#I still can't get over how much you guys took to this lil site I'm so happy#I have the box cat all tested and ready to go for tomorrow morning#I'll just need to link everything up ^^#I hope you guys like him#And I'm super excited to see who you pick next!! :D#I have a list of (so far) 19 skeletons to draw as cats that I'm slowly working my way through#And then I can start doing fun lil extras and new toys#But in the meantime I need to wind down from my slug encounter goodnight everybody ♥
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"Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed"
He's celebrating his first birthday :D (first time he's going to know what cake tastes like), damn Zar you became really important for me. Silly man that teaches me everyday i shouldn't give up and that i should take care of myself, thank you Zar. I CAN'T BELIEVE MONTHS WENT BY SO FAST....i keep learning a lot from him, he teaches me many things, and he teaches everyone many things,,,
Ocs in the drawing
Zar, Orion (holding cake) and Lucia (winged lady) - me
And now the important fellas
Accordion, Violin, Florence, Aurelia and Aidan :3 - @bluetorchsky
Pike and Argine yipee - @kursed-curtain
Fiver and Villain Jr. (I HAD TO ADD THEM, i think Zar would befriend them aheh) - @hammerhead-art
Bonus:
Tach and Harley took the photo
#first lyrics belong to Asleep - The Smiths#this song represents Zar in a whole x)#i wish i could add more ocs but too shy#maybe next year i'll make a bigger drawing for him#but ough i dont wanna get emotional#my birthday is in 19 days and im already gonna cry over Zar's one naurrr#Zar adores everyone ^^ mostly toppats#he seems like a dangerous guy but he means well#thsc#thsc oc#the henry stickmin collection#SO MANY TO TAG i'll do tomorrow
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finished redoing the aki shrine.......
#it was honestly relaxing to do... I feel a lot better after doing it.....#and I think it looks so much nicer now#still need to cat proof but I'll do that in a bit#the terror is napping so aki is safe for now lol#I'll take a better picture tomorrow or the next day#so I can get better lighting#I needed to buy a new set of lights because the ones I have burnt out#I love my akis... my shrine gives me so much joy.....#it was nice to spruce it up...#aki <3
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(the same with riddles)
*sees The Collector reaction to the Giraffes*
o-o
Why did you became so concerned about the Giraffes? Did they intrigued you?
There's a lot of curious animals, one per example is the Platypus, it has the head of a bird, body of a beaver, it has fins like a sea-lion, tail of a beaver, they are mammals but lay eggs and has poison.
There's also the horse shoe crab, who's blood are blue, because it has more oxygen in their bodie's construction, and many curious and scary abyssal creatures, like: the angler fish, the fang tooth, the vampire squid, the giant isopod ,giant crabs, ugly and scary abyssal fishes and the majestic giant squid and the colossal squid.
:p
The Collector: Earth animals are so interesting! Luz showed me a meme that called a cat "the nefarious anglerfish" and it was really funny. I want a platypus really bad because they're sooo cool but Camilla said I shouldn't take animals without permission.
#ask blog#ask the archivists#asks are open#the owl house#toh#id in alt text#toh the collector#the collector#return of baby#hi hello everyone I was going to post more today even though I was going to babysit#my aunt said 'I'll be gone for three hours max' how long was she actually gone for?#four and a half fucking hours#I am literally so angry I had some concrete plans for what to do today#WHICH WOULD LEAD TO SPECIFIC SOMETHING TOMORROW#so now all that is put off to tomorrow and monday#I want literally no one IRL to fucking talk to me for the next 72 hours#anyways have the baby for tonight#I will answer the baby picture requests tomorrow because I didn't get a chance to finish the picture
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Alright, here's everyone who got necklaces today! Individual pics:
Also special shout-out to Cabbage, my small bulbasaur plush. His firm bulb was perfect to use for stretching out and shaping the string for each necklace to make them more elastic and more natural fitting
#stuffed animals#plushies#plushblr#webkinz#jelly cat#jellycat#kinzblr#my fingers hurt from tying all those small knots. its a lot harder to do with no nails x~x#I wanted to di more but needed a break for today. maybe I'll make more tomorrow#if anyone wants better close ups please let me know#viti's plushies#viti shoosh#plushie: echo#plushie: autumn#plushie: zoe#plushie: Lil Vee#plushie: noodles#plushie: gummi worm#gummi worm was the most difficult to decide what beads to use#I wanted smth that would look good with his color scheme#but out of all the beads I currently have with me(I've got others in storage) the rainbow ones fit him best#so gummi worm got a gay pride necklace lol#also I gave Lil Vee the teal/aqua colored pencil charm because I consider that “my” symbol#its what I use as the symbol on my shirt when I draw myself and ifI put my fursons viti into my casual wear thats what she wears#and Lil Vee is basically the closest thing I have to a plush of my fursona (hence her name. my sona as well as myself as called Viti#and she's little. so Lil Vee)#btw cabbage did not get his own necklace today. he was just a helper. I'll make him his own next time#plushie: cabbage#almost forgot to tag him. sorry buddy
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Me clicking “see all” on the tags of that post on why Nate likes Peter: “Holy shit”
#sci speaks#i feel obligated to put a lengthy something something in these tags just to keep the joke up. so i'll tell you about my day.#i really wanted to get chinese takeout today and yesterday but i still haven't gotten it and it's upsetting because#i'm the sort of person who if there's a thing i really want i'll just keep thinking about it restlessly until it happens.#so i guess i'll be thinking about chinese takeout for the foreseeable future. maybe one night this coming week.#i should have bigger things to worry about than when my next chinese takeout fix will be but i'm a simple man with simple needs.#i don't know if the place even takes card and i havent seen a physical note of cash in months. do i need to withdraw money.#do i need to think that far ahead. should i withdraw some money tomorrow just incase.#i really like this chicken and aubergine dish from there it's my favourite. i really love aubergine.#do you guys like aubergine? sensory delight. it melts in your mouth. aughngh. ungh. moans whorishly.
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This is for @taichiyagamiweek. Mimi's day. Hoo boy.
This is the hardest day tbh. Because I really can't think of Tai and Mimi interacting outside of brief moments and one specific episode. There's eight characters- it happens. Even the one episode where they interact a lot beginning to end- Princess Karaoke- is really about Mimi and Sora. This was gonna be a meme analysis about the origin of my ringtone (Tai singing of course).
And then- between writing Joe's and now- I remembered something.
When I was a kid, I didn't like Mimi. I found her too girly for my tastes. This moment helped change my opinion. She cares for every Digimon who's fallen- even creeps like Chuumon- and attempts to memorialize them. Definitely not the actions of a spoiled princess!
Tai doesn't want to linger on the dead. He's too worried about the living. Having Kari around probably affects his behavior towards Mimi. They just lost Whamon (not the first loss to the Dark Masters). Linger too long, and one of them could die next.
But I agree with Mimi (and Matt) on this one. They need to rest. To mourn. To move on. They're only children, and they're fighting a war in a world that isn't their own.
Tai's character is more suited for action packed battles. But Mimi shines more in quiet moments like these.
(I got excited and posted early. Was gonna queue. Sorry for jumping so fast.)
#digimon#taichi yagami#tai kamiya#mimi tachikawa#taichi yagami week#tw death#tw character death#realized too late next day is tk#taichiyagamiweek you can post this one on mimi's day#I'll do tk tomorrow#digimon meta
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Back to the grind tomorrow and lemme tell you what, while I do really enjoy tumblr I sure did like not having to be Online all the time during our break.. And I've been thinking that the amount I'm Online and Available will probably be much lower this year compared to the past. So if I'm not responding to asks as fast or posting as much or w/e, that's why! Thanks for understanding 🙏
#also i DO NOT enjoy twitter/X and truly loved not needing to check it at all really over the break#i might drop twitter altogether because i hate being on there#i'm kinda afraid it'll affect my shop's traffic somewhat significantly buttttt maybe that's worth not having to be there#we'll see..#2024 is gonna be a year of shedding stuff left and right i already know it#sorry to anyone not in the US for already cutting off international orders#twitter you're next#after that who knows#maybe i'll stop carrying my smartphone because i also loved not having to look at it while we were closed#i miss having a flip phone that couldn't even text that thing never bothered me#step one with that tho is i've already turned off notifications from pretty much every app#but now when i open the apps they bother me relentlessly to turn notifications on which i will not do#anyway#maybe i'm just getting old#rant over#goodnight everyone#see you at the drop tomorrow
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Graduation exam tomorrow, guys if I survive this I'll be the most carefree person on earth for the next 2 years
#2 years bc that's when I'll hopefully have my master's graduation#but if I manage to do the interpretation specialisation then that one will only have an interpretation exam#nothing to study#starting from tomorrow I will binge read everything on my tbr list that I couldn't because of the constant lit classes#in fist year I made the foolish mistake of going for Russian specialisation instead of having a minor in another language/culture#which means I had like three times as many lit classes as everyone else#so I really didn't have like any time at all to read for fun#oh btw! I'm looking for YA fantasy books in Russian#by Russian authors#(for my sneaky little long term plans of doing and publishing literature translation)#so if any of y'all have anything to recommend please do!!! my asks and dms are always open#or you can just comment#so far I've picked out руки полные пепла by this author who just publishes under the name мэй#gonna order next week probably#ramblings
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Intentionally fucked up my hormone schedule (put off my shot for a few days bc of travel reasons) and my body is so blehhhh. I feel drained. My life force has been extracted.
#conepost#I'll be taking my next one either tomorrow night or Thursday morning so i need to survive that long#i didnt think i would feel it that much after only a few days but good god#i am also a little irritated bc this was an avoidable thing if i had simply known the date and time we were leaving in advance#but alas#i got a weird moment of period pain type cramping earlier and if my period comes back after a literal year of absence i will kill it#nothing so far but I feel tired this week due to iilt#actually looking forward to doing my next shot
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ko-fi fic uploads
hey guys, I'm going to start putting some of my new tumblr prompt fills and writing warm-ups (ficlets of 4k-6k length) up on my ko-fi!!
Monthly supporters will be able to go into the gallery tab on my ko-fi and click on an uploaded image. The title will be which tumblr-based au the ficlet fits into and how many words it is. The description beneath the image will be a quick summary of the au and a link to the google doc containing the ficlet. The "root" au post, aka the post that started the au on my blog, will be linked as well on that google doc.
This will not affect my wips and progress on them in any way! I feel like that's very important to state - I write these sorts of ficlets all the time because it helps get me in the writing mindset for writing ao3 fics. I will just be spending a little extra effort on them to put them up on ko-fi.
I will NOT be posting any ficlets on my ko-fi that you need to read to understand a fic on ao3 - that's some disney monster conglomerate kind of shit. I will also still be posting shorter ficlets (1k-3k) on tumblr as I write them, especially if I'm answering a prompt someone sent me here. Again, I think it'd be a bit of dick move to not do that
I'll try to vary which ficlets go up on ko-fi and every time I upload one, I'll make a post about which au it is as well as a link to the page in case anyone wants to, idk, unsubscribe for a month because they hate the hopeless in coruscant au, and then refollow next month because they enjoy the playmaker au etc etc
I'm definitely still trying to figure out what I want this to look like and what feels fair or reasonable, so hopefully this isn't a huge mess on my end!
All this being said:
I've posted the first ficlet/fic on ko-fi: it's for the Senator Menace AU, an au that's basically "What if phantom menace but reversed? how fucked up would anakin get over the youngling his father master died to protect?"
the first au post is here // my ko-fi is here
#obikin#my fics#i really hope this works ok#i know fan artists do like monthly subscribers or supporters#on patreon or ko-fi#but i haven't really seen fic writers do it#so i really don't know how it's going to work#i think the lowest for monthly supporters is $4 ? but no one has to go higher or anything!#it's not tiered membership/supporting#so if you do the lowest you should still have access to everything#im applying for grad school in the next few months and i saw the application fees are like. wild.#LOL#but commissions got really stressful for me at times#but i think this could be a good sorta thing?#maybe?#i'll reblog this once at a reasonable time tomorrow and if nothing comes of it thats also fine fr#accepting suggestions on this too if people have ideas#ideas for aus for ficlets and also ideas for how to improve this#if it turns out to be confusing or a clusterfuck#yes i do understand that anyone could share that link with anyone and get access for anyone#but im hoping that that happens not a lot or not widespread#also honestly this will not affect working on my wips#or new fics#cause lol if people wanted me focused theyd just take away my tumblr or somethign#im a lil stressed about this if you couldn't tell from all these tags#and the late night for me posting time lol
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