#I'll change my mind like 5 minutes after posting but this is the list

[nyxiemania]

Five character quiz! Not sure if I'm doing this right but I was tagged by @tropicalcryptid so I gotta make an attempt. Also I'm horrendous at calling my favorites to mind off the dome and I'm trying to limit to one per fandom so this will probably be inaccurate by tomorrow.

I realized these are all girls too lmao so I'll do a reblog for the boys as well.

[thebadjoe]

BAD JOE'S DRDT CH.2 CRIME SOLVING THEORY PART 5

...It's been a while, hasn't it? I spent time working on a different project and I suppose I needed a break.

I'm here to give you an update regarding my culprit theory in DRDT chapter 2. So of course, SPOILERS WARNING FOR DANGANRONPA DESPAIR TIME CHAPTER 2 in case it wasn't obvious enough. It's also a very long read, so...sorry about that! Before I start, I'd like to say something. This is a message for DRDT-dev.

Not gonna dwelve on the past except for one specific moment : the appeciation/thank you e-mails you've received ever since the start of your hiatus after episode 11 was launched.

I wanted to give you words of appreciation at the time, but it completly slipped my mind because of real life + me working on my crazy theories. I felt bad that I missed it because I seriously wanted to thank you and your team for the amazing work that you've done in this fangan.

I've never been this attached to a fangan before and it's not like I've played/watched through a lot of those eitheir. But this one... it was really enjoyable! I don't think there's a single character that I dislike in this fangan. Like they all got something interesting going on or something interesting that might be bound to unfold. The mystery's also really good. I got really hooked to trying to figure out the truth behind the murder mystery of chapter 2.

I can't do art nor music, but the least I can do to show how much I appreciate the amount of work put into this is by proving it to you. This... is the final time I'm making a theory post for the murder case of chapter 2. After that, I have my own projects to work on.

Of course, I can't ask you to read it all (it's super long anyways), but the post itself is proof that I'm truly passionate about this fangan and that I truly appreciate the amazing work. It's a good source of inspiration. So honestly, thank you! Looking forward to see the future of DRDT!

So... I know I've pretty much covered everything I could explain from part 1 to 4 regarding my Eden Culprit theory. However, I feel like that this is a big confusing mess. After all, I changed a lot of things over the course of these 4 parts and even past that, I updated my culprit theory even further, but didn't provide any updates or edits to my posts.

So I'm gonna go over my whole theory once again, from beginning to the end, in a more logical order. I'll start with the easiest topics being the whodunnit and whydunnit. After that, I'll talk about the rather long howdunnit and give a better and updated explanation as to what I believe happened in each scenario.

I will also have a few texts in bolded blue to represent my evil ego personality trying to take down my whole theory, which really, they're just pretend questions/arguments based on things I believe people will think about or things that's been brought up before in the past.

Then, I'll finish it off with a section to talk about a certain something that may possibly change people's mind about not just mine, but many other theories. Let's do this!

Whodunnit

Of course, if it wasn't obvious enough, I accuse Eden of being the culprit of DRDT Chapter 2. There's a couple reasons why I suspect her, but let's focus on only one for now : the smoking gun evidence.

The decisive evidence lies in this video. Chapter 2, Episode 6 : The "Body Discovery" of Ace in the fitness room.

I skipped it to the proper scene, so no need to worry about that. So there are 4 characters involved in this scene. There's Teruko, Eden, Nico and Ace. At first sight, it really looks like Nico was trying to kill Ace, so Teruko yells at them and then they run away.

So since then, we need to focus on the following three characters : Teruko, Eden and Ace. So judging that Ace is probably dead, Teruko decides to investigate while Eden needed a minute to process this.

Not gonna list everything. For now, let's just focus on what's important to prove that Eden's the culprit : the roll of grippy tape.

This is an important clue because even though it wasn't pointed out by Teruko herself, it was clearly shown in the background (you can see it clearly at 19:55). This clue in question is what the culprit clearly used to set up their murder mechanism for the murder of Arei considering what was found in the playground in episode 8.

At 20:32, Eden decides to give a hand to Teruko with the investigation.

For the following couple seconds, it's a bit hard to see, but behind those speech bubbles, you can still see the roll of tape.

At 20:50, Ace wakes up and shouts that he's not dead. Then at 20:54...

The tape is no longer there, where it's supposed to be.

So what happened there? Was it a creator error? That's actually very unlikely considering how important this clue is. So the only logical explanation to this is that someone took the roll of grippy tape in that moment. Therefore, eitheir Teruko, Eden or Ace took it meaning that eitheir one of them is the true culprit behind the murder of Arei!

It can't be Teruko because she'd literally have no reason to commit murder and we've been under her POV most of the time, so it's very unlikely that there were windows for her to commit murder. Nothing would make sense if she was the culprit, so it's not Teruko.

Ace... there's a slight possibility, but it's still unlikely. I have a couple ideas that could make him seem like he could be the culprit (that I might explain later in the howdunnit), but it's still really difficult because of the fact that Ace is clearly wounded and he probably wouldn't be thinking about killing Arei at some point later. It would be hard to explain certain events, so it's not Ace.

So by process of elimination, that only leaves Eden. She would definitly have a perfect window to grab the roll of tape without being seen. The proof lies in 20:32 in the video. She wanted to help out Teruko in the investigation, which would've been the perfect opportunity to grab it.

This is a very sneaky and demonic trick that the DRDT creator pulled here. Giving us an incriminating evidence that was so hard to spot that they must've been wondering when it'd be found out. It really makes me wonder what would've happened if I was never part of this. Would someone actually discover this damning clue?

Let's move on.

Whydunnit

Man, I came up with plenty wild theories for the motive a while back. It went from "she wants to eliminate bullies" to "she has a dark secret she wants to keep it hidden" to "she misses her beloved dearly".

Eventually, the "she misses her beloved dearly" motive become the official one for my theory and it's not just applied to mine eitheir. There's a few others who seem to approve this motive and use it in their own theories as well.

To give some context as a reminder, Eden Tobisa is a very kind girl. We also know that her secret is "Ever since you kissed her, you were afraid your sexuality would ruin your friendship." This would indicate that she's most potentially in love with someone.

She tries to help whenever she can and tries to organize fun activities with a few, become friends with as many people as possible.

She's basically trying to keep her hopes up. Especially considering her reaction during the prologue...

She appears to be quite a tad desperate in wanting to get out. Anyways, the murder and trial happened in chapter 1. That inflicted quite a mental hit to most of the cast.

Right before the beginning of chapter 2, we get the following quote : "I still miss you. I miss you so much that I wish I you had never been a part of my life. The worst part is, even though you left me like this, there's nothing I can blame you for."

Then in chapter 2, after monoTV reveals the motives, Eden suggests that they should take that opportunity to work together and escape. She's the first person who brings up the escape topic.

Even though she tried to keep her and everyone's spirits up, most of the time, it's been people arguing over everything and nothing. It's mostly a few specific people, but still, it was definitly unpleasant. But the worst part of it all is the event that unfolded in the first 4 minutes of Chapter 2, Episode 5.

That bullying that Eden received was the final straw. She had enough of all of this. That made her realise that there's only one thing that matters to her : getting the heck out of here to meet her beloved, the person she kissed.

This is mostly my logical explanation for the motive based on all the possible clues that were given to be able to find a viable motive for the murder.

For those who believe that it'd be bad writing or whatever, I'm not really gonna delve into this myself, but I'd heavily suggest reading @venus-is-thinking's post here. There's some interesting points related to the narrative possibilities. (Might not fully support my theory, but you get the idea). In any case, whether you believe it or not, the fact remains that this is a possible motive that can be used to explain why Eden commited murder.

Howdunnit

Oh boy, here we go. The most difficult, yet most fun part to explain in this theory. Even though it's only a chapter 2 murder case, there's A LOT that happened that led to the crime. This time around, I'm gonna make sure to list everything in chronological order while also providing the most updated information regarding my theory.

I'll also separate certain events in Acts, to make it easier to comprehend. Let's do this!

Act 1

It all began a few days ago, when monoTV announced the motive reveal. MonoTV gave each participant a troubling secret and told them that if no one commits murder, the secrets would be revealed to the whole world.

MonoTV is a dumb dumb however because it made a mistake and all the secrets have been swapped around, meaning that no one has their own secret. So each participant has a secret that belongs to someone else.

For a few of them, it was pretty much "eh, it's whatever!", but it was especially troubling for David. The reason why is because he knows deep down what his secret is, it's a pretty meaningful one, after all.

We already know by now that his secret is "You exist to manipulate others. Everyone else exists to be taken advantage of." Considering his talent, it would totally ruin his career. So he needed to come up with a plan to not be exposed, and fast.

MonoTV also reveals that the second floor is unlocked and they're free to explore. We're not gonna go over each one of them yet, but I want to talk about this particular scene in the fitness room.

During the investigation of the new rooms, Teruko meets up with Ace and Levi in the gym. There's an argument going on because Levi is trying to apologize to Ace for his behavior in the trial of chapter 1 (when he threatened Ace). Ace is having none of it.

Ace was also arguing with Teruko a bit regarding some comments she made behind his back that he heard, which made him behave like so...

So what is he actually gonna do about it? You'll see shortly in the next coming acts.

Act 2

Teruko spends the rest of the first day secluded in her own room until next morning because girl has to eat, ya know? As soon as she gets out of her dorm, this happens...

Eden sneaks up on Teruko to surprise her, which she didn't see this coming at all. On top of that, she claims that she could hear Teruko clearly in her dorm doing a puppet show with the cactuses. The walls are pretty thin, therefore not really soundproof. This was also shown in Act 1 when Teruko talked behind Ace's back, but could hear that conversation.

Truth bullet acquired : Eden's sneakiness

Truth bullet acquired : Non-soundproof walls

Because of that embarassing reveal, Eden used it to her advantage to blackmail Teruko, forcing her to do friendly activities with her. So Teruko has no choice but to follow her orders and go eat breakfast with Eden.

As they're preparing something in the kitchen, they suddenly hear people arguing in the cafeteria, so they go check it out. It's of course that scene where 3 different pairs fighting against each other.

So first we have J (Julia Rosales) asking Arturo to leave her alone and to stop pestering her with her secret. Nothing too relevant for the murder.

Then we have Ace bullying Nico hardcore all of a sudden. Considering the events that happened in the gym in Act 1 and the purpose of a bully, it's safe to deduce that he's doing this because he's trying to act tough. Ace is trying to display superiority over a targetted victim by bullying them. Ace wasn't really hostile towards Nico before that.

It's also very important to take this into consideration since in chapter 1, most of the time, he was behaving like an absolute coward and that's no pretending. He really has a fear of a lot of things.

Well, actually... Ace bullied Nico once in chapter 1!

Sure, he made a dumb mean comment by calling them losers for liking animals or whatever, but that wasn't just directed at Nico, it was directed at Xander as well. I think he was mostly trying to get attention by being provocative.

Besides, that was only one time compared to the multiple times that Ace bullied Nico throughout the whole chapter 2, so there's clearly a behavior change there.

Truth bullet acquired : Ace's phobias

Truth bullet acquired : Ace acting tough

Moving on... We also have Arei arguing with monoTV about getting rid of the rope. Arei believes that this is a cruel joke of a custom weapon for her since it reminds her a lot of her past. She wants to dispose it, but monoTV refuses.

They eventually come to some kind of agreement and monoTV places that rope in the storage room, so anyone can take it if they wish.

Truth bullet acquired : Easily accessible rope

They arguing kept going for a while until David comes in, telling them to shut up and that he has an announcement to make. He reveals his secret : "My family has a history of depression."

He makes that reveal because he is suggesting that it would be best for everyone to share their secrets before the time is up. That way, once it's already out in the open, no one would have any remaining motive to commit murder according to David.

But as we know already, that was all a lie. He revealed a fake secret and wanted others to share secrets since it would help create even more conflicts which could lead to more dramatic results... like murder.

That was his master plan to instigate a murder. He wanted to have others cause a murder before the deadline, which would keep his secret safe.

Truth bullet acquired : David's plan

Act 3

Eden tells Teruko about her fun activity plan being decorating the clocks in this killing game establishment, but she wanted to invite one more person. She wanted to invite someone who complained that she wasn't invited at the cake decorating activity back in chapter 1 : Arei.

So they both enter the playground, meeting up with David and Arei who were about to have a discussion about secrets. You know the rest of that scene afterwards, I've also brought it up in the whydunnit.

Arei bullies Eden, putting the blame on her for Min's death. Eden gets out of the playground, crying in utter sadness. Then right after that, Arei laughs and...

Truth bullet used : Non-soundproof walls

Even though she got out of the room, it's very possible that Eden heard it which would be the absolute final straw. She had enough of all of this, then her actual motive kicked in : she wanted to get out of her as soon as possible to meet her beloved.

Of course, we know by now that Arei wasn't really that spiteful. She just wanted to give a tough and harsh lesson about this killing. To stop being so nice and naive as that would make Eden the most vulnerable target to any murder cases in the future. But alas, Eden didn't stick long enough to listen to that part, which makes me wonder if it would've made a drastic different in how chapter 2 would play out.

Well, it's possible that Eden actually heard that part of the conversation!

But we don't know that for sure. Considering the smoking gun evidence, it makes more sense to believe that she didn't hear the rest of the conversation happening in the playground.

Anyways, this was the very beginning to Eden's murder scheme. She had a lot of work to do.

Act 4

Teruko proceeds to meet up with Rose in the dress-up room who was currently having a painting session. She had Rose's secret, so she figured she might as well share the secret, which Rose agreed to.

Then they have a chat about various things, then to Teruko's surprise, she realises that Nico was here this whole time, laying down on the ground.

Nico asks Rose if she could teach him how to paint, which Rose said yes.

Let me pause for a bit to mention an important clue : Rose's custom weapon. It's turpentine. It wouldn't be out of the question to think that since this is a painting supply, she would bring it with her during painting sessions and based on what we know in later episodes...

Well, realisticly, that's not how turpentine is supposed to work!

Probably not, but this is made very clear that the author wants us to believe that it works that way in their world. There's no reason for them to make something up about it other than explaining its intended purpose.

This turpentine is meant to be served as a tool/weapon to knock someone out, kind of like chloroform.

Truth bullet acquired : Turpentine

Teruko was already out of that room to head to the cafeteria while the other two were thinking about going there because they were hungry.

Fast forward a bit in the cafeteria, Ace is having another argument with poor Nico.

Truth bullet used : Ace acting tough

He's bullying Nico once again to make himself look tough. He's even ready to threaten Nico that he would reveal their secret (we learned in the trial that Nico and Ace have each other's secret).

This failed however because David managed to snatch it from Ace's hands while he was distracted. Then Ace proceeds to keep on bullying Nico, asking : "What are you gonna do about it?"

This surprised Ace, no doubt. Then afterwards, he gets slapped by Hu. She defends Nico, telling Ace that she's had enough of this.

At the time, I thought that Nico's death threat would've been the main reason why Ace kept suspecting that Nico tried to kill him, but it's actually a lot more simple than that. I'll explain it later...

While I'm at it, let's keep in mind that Hu's custom weapon is wires.

Truth bullet acquired : Nico's motive to kill Ace

Truth bullet acquired : Hu being protective of Nico

Truth bullet acquired : Hu's wires

Then we later have Nico's secret reveal, which is not too relevant to the actual murder. What's important however are two things.

Not everyone was present in the cafeteria at the time

Rose was later sleeping in the cafeteria for an unknown amount of time

Let's go back a little bit and talk about what happened to the few other relevant characters.

Meanwhile...

Eden was working on her murder scheme. Based on a Q&A that the DRDT creator did a while ago, we learned that Eden's not very strong or fit. So if she wanted to pull a good murder, she needed to be really smart about it.

So she needed to come up with a murder mechanism to pull it off. So to make it happen, she needed the right materials.

Truth bullet used : Turpentine

She remembered the list of custom weapons written by Charles that Whit showed during the trial. Considering the hidden purpose of this weapon according to this world, she knew that she could use it to knock someone out.

It would be very easy to get a target unconscious without resorting to physical force. Next up, she needed some kind of murder weapon that would do the deed for her.

Truth bullet used : Hu's wires

Eden probably considered using Hu's custom weapon, but that would've been incredibly risky. Even if she was friends with Hu, how would she be able to get her weapon without seeming suspicious?

She needed to use something else. Something that could work just as well as Hu's wires.

Initially, I was thinking of the analog clocks that could be found in the killing game building, a specific wire within it, but it seems quite convoluted on top of being unsure if that would've been enough wire to pull it off.

So I kept looking into it, and I discovered two interesting facts about this fangan.

During the prologue, we learn a few things about Eden, but most importantly, she loves hand-making antique clocks. Meaning it's not wrong to assume that she loves antique clocks overall.

The other fact is the following...

Whoever made this killing game, everyone's dorm has been customized to fit their needs and style. So if we combine this fact, Eden's talent and her love for antique clocks, then it's safe to deduce that she must have antique clocks in her dorm, don't you think?

Not only that, but it could very well be a grandfather clock! There's a seemingly grand variety of grandfather clocks, but what's important is that you can find clock cables in them. They're usually used to maintain the clock's weights.

This could very well be the weapon that she used for the murder attempt on Ace. Otherwise, it could very well be some kind of material that she already had available considering her talent and her love to craft antique clocks.

Truth bullet created : Eden's cables

Murder attempt on Ace? Isn't it Nico who tried to kill Ace in the gym?

I'll explain that confusion later... For now, let's just say that her initial plan was not killing Arei in particular. At least, not the things we've seen in the playground. Whatever we discovered in the fitness room instead was her initial plan.

Well, there's no way to know for sure that Eden had those wires.

No, but as long as it's a possibility, it can work.

But that's only based on your assumptions, that's just wrong!

It's a logical deduction based on facts about this fangan. But you know what? I refuse to elaborate further on this. I'll explain why in the finale.

Moving on, Eden did something else while there was an argument happening in the cafeteria. She decided to have a meeting with Arturo in the infirmary to share his secret. Eden has Arturo's secret : "Your younger sister killed herself because of you. You should have never left."

This is pretty much the flashback scene that we see in Chapter 2, Episode 10. Eden reveals the secret, Arturo threatens her, Arei comes in to save the day. Arei then apologies for her bullying back in playground. Then Arei and Eden become friends.

There's of course more to it than that, but you get the idea.

Wouldn't your motive become null and void when Eden became friends with Arei?

Not necessarily. Eden probably made up her mind already about leaving this place. Besides, there's no guarantee that she fully believed what Arei said.

I personally think that this was a perfect opportunity for Eden to take advantage of Arei when she would need it most.

But this was supposed to be a meeting with Arturo. How would Eden know that Arei would come to the infirmary?

That's the thing. She didn't know. The fact that Arei came in to save her was an unexpected, yet pleasant event. It was literally a golden opportunity for the culprit.

Then she was only expecting Arturo. What would be the point of that meeting if she intended to murder someone that wasn't necessarily Arei?

Right, cause back in episode 10, we were led to believe for a while that Arturo could've been a suspect of the murder of Arei. It was also because of the fake letter that was adressed to Arei.

Well, we know that Eden knew Arturo's secret and that's no light secret eitheir. It's a pretty bad one. So she must've been expecting a negative reaction out of Arturo.

Truth bullet used : David's plan

I doubt that she was aware of David's intentions, but she could've used David's idea to her advantage. She had a feeling that some of these secrets could cause conflicts. Which is precisely why she decided to share it to Arturo.

She was creating a potential suspect for her plan in the future.

Why would that matter if she was only meeting up with Arturo? She would have no other witnesses if that went according to plan!

Truth bullet used : Non-soundproof walls

She knew that any conversations could be heard from outside of said room, so she made a gamble on it. She was hoping that someone else would hear the conversation happening and they would be the potential witness.

Luckily for her, that worked out a lot better than anticipated when Arei came in to save and befriend her.

Truth bullet acquired : Eden's incident in the infirmary

Before getting her murder scheme in motion, all that was left was grabbing Rose's turpentine.

Wasn't it Nico who stole the turpentine from Rose?

I'll explain the thing about Nico later, but no, it could've been anyone else. Like I said before, she was painting in the dress-up room, her turpentine could've been there.

Also, after the argument between Ace and Nico, Rose fell asleep, so for an unknown period of time, the dress-up room was left unattended, meaning that anyone could've stolen it, not just Nico.

But how would Eden know that the turpentine was there?

Normally, she would think that it's in Rose's dorm, but it's very likely that she saw Rose painting in the distance and spotted the turpentine. It's not because we don't see her since the bullying that we should expect her to be secluded in her room for an unknown amount of time.

But then she would rely on luck yet again to get what she wants!

It's possible that she considered to use something else to knock someone unconscious, but when she came across that turpentine in the dress-up room, she figured it would've been a much better option.

But wouldn't Rose have noticed the turpentine missing during the practice session she was supposed to have with Nico later?

Not necessarily, she tends to be easily distracted and absent-minded. So she might've not noticed until later.

Well, she also has a photographic memory. She can precisely remember things. Wouldn't she remember when it was missing?

Not if she didn't notice it beforehand. Anyways, we're getting nowhere with this, so I refuse to elaborate further. I'll explain why later in the finale.

Act 5

During the evening of DAY 2, a few things happened on the second floor. Ace was working out alone in the gym and a meeting was about to happen between Arei and David in the relaxation room.

Hold up, didn't that happen on the evening of DAY 3?

That's what we're all led to believe, but there are plenty reasons to believe that's not what happened. I'll explain it later when the time comes. For now, whether you believe it or not, let's say that this happened in the evening of DAY 2.

So Ace is working out during that time, most likely doing benchpress. The reason why is somewhat related to this...

Truth bullet used : Ace acting tough

Obviously he's not pretending to work out, he's actually a fairly fit and strong person, which was also shown during the Q&A with DRDT creator. He's also an athlete.

Even since the scene in the fitness room in DAY 1, he's trying to rely on himself alone and doesn't want others to see him as a joke. So he's also working out to stay in shape.

Truth bullet acquired : Ace working out

Isn't that because of his eating disorder that he's working out?

Probably, but I don't think it's just that. I think it also has something to do with trying to get stronger to make sure he can survive the killing game.

He then hears a conversation happening between Arei and David in the relaxation room. Ace got curious, so he stopped training and decided to eavesdrop on them.

This is pretty much the flashback scene that we get in Chapter 2, Episode 11. Of course, the events according to my theory are different compared to what's shown in episode 11. Aside from it happening at a different day, there's a few other details that Ace tricked us into believing that this truly happened on DAY 3.

Truth bullet acquired : Ace's testimony

I'll explain them later once we get to this particular Act. There is one thing that's very important thing to recall right now though.

He said that right after Arei asked David to say something. That was after she revealed David's secret in private because she was seeking an explanation for his actions. Since she knows David's actual secret, it means that she knew that he lied about "family history of depression" secret and that his secret share plan is suspicious.

So Ace claiming that he didn't hear anything else right after that moment is just incredibly suspicious. It just wouldn't make sense! David must have said something to Arei. He couldn't have simply ran away because he would've run into Ace otherwise.

David must have said something afterwards, regardless of what it is.

Then can you explain what happened then? Why didn't Ace hear anything else.

Ace truly didn't hear anything else, but not for the reason that most are led to believe.

What's that supposed to mean?!

Something happened shortly afterwards that made Ace physically unable to hear anything else.

Truth bullet used : Eden's sneakiness

Truth bullet used : Turpentine

In that precise moment, Eden snuck up on Ace and knocked him unconscious with the turpentine that she stole in the dress-up room earlier. Ace became the intended victim target for Eden's murder scheme.

Wouldn't Arei and David hear anything happening?

Probably not. As long as she's stealthy enough and that the turpentine is strong enough, it could knock him out pretty quick with having time to react to it. It's entirely possible to do this quietly.

Alright, but wouldn't they see the unconscious body sometime later after the discussion?

Not if Eden dragged the body to hide it. Initially, I thought she would bring it to the dress-up room and hide it in the changing room, but I think it'd ask too much physically for Eden. So the only option remaining is dragging the body back to the gym. This should work as long as it's not in the hallway and the door is closed.

But earlier, you said that Eden's weak and not fit. How would she be able to drag a body?

In a real life scenario, it would probably be really different and incredibly difficult. But that's the only explanation I can come up with to explain how she was able to do that without getting caught.

It's not like she waited for Ace inside the gym. Otherwise, he would've prolly heard more about the conversation.

Anyways, I refuse to elaborate further on this. I'll explain why later in the finale.

Moving on... After capturing Ace, she had one remaining step to do before preparing the murder mechanism : she needed a scapegoat. Arei was the perfect target for that.

Truth bullet used : Eden's sneakiness

Truth bullet used : Turpentine

So Eden knocked her unconscious at the most appropriate time when no one else was around.

Wasn't David here? Wouldn't he have known?

Obviously, the culprit didn't do that while they were both present. Considering the matter of the discussion, it's probably likely that David got out of the relaxation room first, before Arei. So Eden simply needed to wait for David to use the elevator.

Otherwise, she could've also prepared a fake letter, asking Arei to meet up in the playground so that she could knock her out. This is probably the most logical explanation to this. It would match up the contents of the letter that was revealed in Chapter 2, Episode 10.

Truth bullet created : Eden's letter

Before I proceed with the next Acts, I'd like to pause it to explain every other possible clues that was found on the second floor that could be relevant to the murder mystery.

The 2nd Floor

The dress-up room

A few things to note about this room that even though none of the characters talked about, as long as it's presented, it can be used as a potential clue. We got some wigs on the left and the pink heart shaped case looks most likely to be a makeup-kit. It would make a lot of sense, considering where it is.

Truth bullet acquired : Wigs

Truth bullet acquired : Makeup-kit

Then post Arei's murder, Charles finds a ball of clothes in this room.

Truth bullet acquired : Ball of clothes

The relaxation room

There's a few things I'll list that may seem mundane at first, but they will become important as I explain it later.

First, we got those green mats, they look like light green yoga mats? Let's call em green yoga mats, why not?

Then, we have the incense sticks. They give a pretty good smell inside that room. Burning a whole stick can take up to an hour, but the lingering smell can last for multiple hours. They originally come the incense box that we're seeing to the right.

Truth bullet acquired : Green yoga mats

Truth bullet acquired : Incense sticks

Truth bullet acquired : Box of incense

We also learn about a special feature within this room in Episode 2.

We also learn that the room becomes locked at 10:00 PM up until 8:00 AM because of this misting system that monoTV implemented. He doesn't want anyone to enter that room at night while this is happening since it would leave a mess.

Truth bullet acquired : Relax room's nighttime features

The fitness room

I decided to use the crime scene in Episode 6 since most of the much needed clues are found in here.

Let's start with both the broom and the stepladder. They're not from the gym originally, so someone must have brought them here. They must've played a role in setting up some kind of murder scheme in here. Are they from the storage room, perhaps?

Truth bullet acquired : Broom

Truth bullet acquired : Stepladder

Next up, we have the whole weight rack. It wasn't there originally. Uh... I mean, it came from the gym, but not in this unusual position. So someone moved it. Was it part of the murder scheme?

Truth bullet acquired : Moved weight rack

Then, we have those benches adjacent to Ace that's been moved. We also have the right fan that fell down. It was ripped out according to Teruko. Also, the left side fan isn't working.

This is strange because the first time Teruko explored that room, it was working just fine and even after monoTV finishing cleaning up that failed murder attempt mess, the left side fan was working again. Why would it suddenly stop turning if that fan wasn't ripped out?

We have two weight plates neatly placed next to the threadmills. Why are they here?

Truth bullet acquired : Moved benches

Truth bullet acquired : Ripped out right fan

Truth bullet acquired : Left fan not spinning

Truth bullet acquired : Weight plates next to treadmill

Onto the more important clues.

We have a piece of wire that's attached to a blade of the fan with tape. A part of it has blood on it. The other piece of the wire, which was held by Nico when Teruko and Eden came across this crime scene, but then they dropped it. There's also blood on it, but there's a couple spots where there's no blood somehow. Is it two wires or the same wire snapped in two?

Truth bullet acquired : Piece of wire attached to fan

Truth bullet acquired : Other piece of wire

Speaking of tape, this is the roll of grippy tape that I was talking about in the Whodunnit part of my post. According to Rose in Episode 7, when she failed to do a pull-up, she says that there was originally grippy tape on that bar, which Teruko didn't believe.

But if you rewind back to the previous episodes, you can clearly see that there was something on that pull-up bar, but then during the crime scene of the attempted murder, it's no longer there. It's very safe to presume that the roll of tape and what was on the pull-up bar are the same kind of grippy tape.

Truth bullet acquired : Roll of grippy tape

Truth bullet acquired : Missing tape on pull-up bar

Let's take a closer look at the body.

A couple things to note...

The neck wounds on Ace. We were first led to believe that he died to those wounds, but it turns out, he's still alive. They must still hurt though. Right behind that we can see a glimpse of smeared blood on the wall, behind his neck. Even when Ace wakes up, the blood on the wall is still trying, so it's no magic trick or illusion there. It's very real.

Then, even more subtle than that, there's blood on his Ace's fingers (on his right hand). Because of the way it's positioned and because the other hand is hidden, it's possible that there's more blood on these hands.

And then we have Nico being "caught in the act". Anyone who sees this will immediatly think that Nico tried to kill him, no doubt about it. While I'm at it, let's keep in mind the odd position that Ace's body is found. Another thing even weirder than that is the utter lack of other traces of blood. There's no blood on any of the equipments, other walls and so on. What happened here?

Truth bullet acquired : Neck wounds

Truth bullet acquired : Smeared blood on the wall

Truth bullet acquired : Blood on Ace's fingers

Truth bullet acquired : Nico caught in the act

Truth bullet acquired : Ace's sitting position

Truth bullet acquired : Lack of blood anywhere else

Quite a lot of truth bullets in that room, ain't it?

The playground

(I can't find a good screenshot to take to see the whole crime scene without any distractions, so I'll trust that you have a fairly good idea of what it looked like. Also, I'm getting close to the limit of pictures I can send, so...)

Let's start with the body.

She is seen hanging by a rope on the swing set. Someone tied her up there, but who would be strong enough to pull that off? Then when Arturo inspected the body, he found out that Arei has a broken neck, so something with the rope must caused her neck to snap somehow.

We also find red marks on her wrists, indicating that her wrists must've been tied up with something. Other than that, there's no other visible wounds or details regarding the body. Well, there is one thing... it's not mentioned by the cast, but it's clearly visible : Arei's glove is missing.

Truth bullet acquired : Rope attached to Arei's neck

Truth bullet acquired : Arei's broken neck

Truth bullet acquired : Red marks on Arei's wrists

Truth bullet acquired : Arei's missing glove

Close to the seasaw, which is like in front of the swing set, we can find scuffed marks on the ground, which is caused by something being scraped against it. Seemingly easy to damage the ground.

And there's also the dead fishes found close by. Why are they here? According to Nico, the fishes were fed last evening/night by them, so the fishes were still alive by then.

Truth bullet acquired : Scuffed ground

Truth bullet acquired : Dead fishes

Moving on... to the right, if we look at the carousel aka the spinny thing, there are two clues. First one is the long rope found under the carousel. The bars of the carousel are wrapped with tape. It looks like the very same tape that was found in the fitness room.

Truth bullet acquired : Long rope under carousel

Truth bullet acquired : Carousel wrapped with tape

Oh right, before I forget... according to MonoTV, there was also a broken ceiling light on the ceiling, so they turned it off for now.

Truth bullet acquired : Broken ceiling light

Then in the hallway, Rose knocks over the only trash can available on the second floor and they find a couple clues.

We have the empty water jugs with broken handles. Quite peculiar, don't you think? Then we have a torn-up note which we already what it is by now. It's the letter "signed by Eden" adressing to Arei to ask her to meet in the playground about an issue regarding a secret being exposed.

We also have scrunched up tape, which looks very similar to the tapes we found in both the playground and the gym. Can't be a coincidence!

More subtle and not mentioned by the characters, there's a needle with a black string attached to it.

Truth bullet acquired : Empty jugs with broken handles

Truth bullet acquired : Torn-up note

Truth bullet acquired : Scrunched up tape

Truth bullet acquired : Needle with black string attached

I believe that's all the relevant clues I can find in each of these rooms. Time to get back on track!

Act 6

So to give a tiny recap to where we were last time in Act 5, Eden knocked Ace unconscious, dragged him back to the gym. Then sometime later, she knocked Arei unconscious.

Why would she knock Arei unconscious?! The culprit already found her intended victim for the murder!

There's only one possible explanation for this. Arei was supposed to be the scapegoat for her murder scheme. She was supposed to be the main suspect.

That makes no sense! If it went according to plan, during the trial, Arei would've mentioned that she's been knocked unconscious by Eden.

Not quite!

Truth bullet used : Eden's sneakiness

If she can sneak up on Teruko without her noticing, then she can also sneak up on Ace to knock him unconscious without being noticed. Therefore, if she can do that with Ace, she can do the exact same thing with Arei.

So sure, she would've mentioned that she's been knocked out, but who would believe her? Would they rather believe Eden or Arei? I think the answer is pretty clear.

But she must've been knocked unconscious not too late at night, meaning that she could've woken up sometime later at night and no one would suspect a thing about her!

There's no way to tell if the turpentine's effect would make someone go unconscious for a short or long time. That aside, there's a simple solution to explain how she couldn't escape without being suspected. To make sure that she doesn't go anywhere, you just need to trap Arei somewhere, lock her somewhere.

But there's no such place for that!

Truth bullet used : Relax's room nighttime features

The culprit hid Arei's unconscious body inside the relaxation room. Even if Arei somehow woke up early, she would be unable to get out of here because of the features of that room.

The room closes at 10:00 PM and only reopens at 8:00 AM. It's heavily implied that it would be locked. If someone wouldn't be able to enter that room at night, it's possible that someone wouldn't be able to exit that room eitheir if they were stuck inside.

But according to said features, it's locked because of a misting system that uses an enriched formula for the plants inside. Wouldn't Arei be covered in said enriched formula as well?

She would, unless the culprit used something to cover her body.

Truth bullet used : Ball of clothes

Truth bullet used : Needle with black string attached

The ball of clothes has starch on it and according to some google research, starch is actually very beneficial in plant growth. So it's safe to presume that this enriched formula that monoTV mentioned has something to do with starch. Meaning that the ball of clothes is physical proof that it was used in the relaxation room for the night.

This ball of clothes in question is a bundle of all the old uniforms that Teruko and Hu used to have until monoTV changed their style.

Then, it's possible that the culprit used a needle with string to attach pieces of clothes together to make a custom blanket of sorts.

But the turf in the relaxation room would get wet at night and that would stick to Arei's body!

Truth bullet used : Green yoga mats

The culprit placed the body on top of a yoga mat. That way, it wouldn't leave any traces on the back side of her body. Then add the blanket of clothes as mentioned earlier and she'd be covered from all sides.

To summarize this act, after hiding Ace's body in the gym, she knocked Arei unconscious with the turpentine and made sure that Arei would be locked up inside the relaxation room and covered from the misting system. She did all of that before 10:00 PM.

Act 7

Now that Arei's unconscious body was taken care of, it was now time to set up the murder mechanism!

Truth bullet used : Moved weight rack

Let's get that out of the way right off the bat. We know Eden's weak, so there's no way she could've moved the weight rack, even though it seemed to have been moved to make space for the murder mechanism. I doubt that Eden would put the time and physical efforts to move the weight plates one by one, then the weight rack and then putting back the weight plates.

So if she didn't do it, who did?

Truth bullet used : Ace working out

According to my theory, Ace was working out that evening, so wouldn't it make more sense to believe that he's the one who moved that weight rack? That would also be evidence that he was working out during the evening of DAY 2, not DAY 3 (I know what some of you think about this, but I'll get back to it later, don't worry).

But that doesn't make sense! The way that the weight rack was moved and toppled over, it's facing away from the bench where he would be doing the bench pressing.

Maybe, but we don't quite know what the characters are truly thinking. For all we know, this could be his actual workout preference, as weird as it may seem. With that said, I refuse to elaborate further. I will explain why in the finale.

Besides, we know that Ace is fairly fit, so he could move a bunch of these weight plates easily. Moving on...

Truth bullet used : Missing tape on pull-up bar

Since we know that Eden took the roll of tape with her as shown in the whodunnit, sometime after the failed murder reveal, it's logical to conclude that she's also the person who removed the tape on that bar. She removed all of the available tape on the pull-up bars to make a single roll of grippy tape.

Ha! There's a problem with that! It doesn't seem like there's a lot of tape on that pull-up bar, it's highly doubtful that it would be the same quantity as what's shown on the roll of tape. She must have gotten that tape somewhere else.

There's a very simple explanation for it...

See this on the left? That's also a pull-up bar, but slightly hidden by the weird workout contraption directly in front. But still, there's definitly a pull-up bar there.

So tell me... if there was grippy tape on the pull-up bar to the right, wouldn't there be tape on the pull-up bar to the left as well? There was a reason why I mentioned "available tape on the pull-up bars" and it wasn't a typo.

If you combine the tape from both pull-up bars, there would surely be enough to make a complete roll of tape. Moving on...

Truth bullet used : Eden's cables

Truth bullet used : Piece of wire attached to fan

Truth bullet used : Other piece of wire

Since the culprit didn't use Hu's custom weapon according to my theory, it's safe to presume to the wire that was found in the gym is the exact same as Eden's cables that I came up with. This also means that both pieces of the wire were originally a single, longer piece of wire.

So she used her accessible weapon for the next step...

Truth bullet used : Piece of wire attached to fan

Truth bullet used : Roll of grippy tape

Truth bullet used : Stepladder

She attached one end of the wire to one of the blades of the right fan. The culprit circled the cable around the blade a few times and then did the finishing touches by sticking tape to it to make sure it'll stay there.

Of course, she's not as tall as a giraffe or as tall as Arturo, so she needed something to boost her height. That's where the stepladder comes into play. She placed it below the fan, climbed up and did the thing.

But when Teruko finds the body, you can see that the tape is facing upwards, above the fan. Wouldn't it be much easier to place it under the blade?

Sure, it would make sense, but from a mystery game/novel perspective, what would happen if the tape was placed under? You wouldn't really be able to see it now, would you? Granted, some could easily arrive at the conclusion that the wire was attached with tape since there was a roll of tape found at the scene.

So in that case, there's another simple and logical explanation to it. If you had the option to place tape eitheir above or under the fan, which would be the most efficient?

The right answer would be above the fan! Think about it. The wire is supposed to be holding something, so there would be weight attached to it. If the tape was applied under the blade, it could've easily come off because of the pressure of the weight. If it was taped above the blade instead, even though there would be weight pressure, it wouldn't affect the tape much in that situation.

Therefore, Eden placed the tape above the blade of the fan because that was the most efficient option. While I'm at it...

Truth bullet used : Ripped out right fan

Truth bullet used : Left fan not spinning

Considering what I've said previously regarding the left fan not spinning during the body discovery of Ace, there's a simple solution for this mystery.

The left fan stopped spinning because it was turned off. There is most likely a switch in the gym to turn on and off the fans.

That would easily explain why the left fan started spinning again after monoTV cleaned up the room the following day. That would also easily explain how the culprit managed to place tape on the right fan as well. Even though we have no one mentioning the existence of a switch for the fan, it's very easy to come up with that conclusion.

Truth bullet created : On/Off switch for the fans

Act 8

Now that the cable was set up on one end, it was time to take care of the other hand of the cable. That part would require more steps and efforts than what's shown in Act 7.

First off, to make sure her murder mechanism worked, the end result required Ace's body to be standing up with the wire attached to his neck. So it needed to be just kinda long enough to make it work.

So the body needed to remain in a standing up position while Eden is setting up the other end of the cable to his neck. Of course, she didn't have an accomplice nor would she want to work with one, so she relied on a few materials she planned beforehand to make it work.

Truth bullet used : Moved benches

Truth bullet used : Weight plates next to treadmill

Truth bullet used : Broom

The culprit used the back wall so that Ace's body would rest against it. That way, it wouldn't move backwards. Then, she squeezed the victim's legs with the benches, placing one of them on each side so that the body wouldn't move sideways. She also placed a weight plate on each foot so that his feet wouldn't move around, which could move the body if that were to happen. It would help keep the body stable.

Even with these steps however, it still wouldn't be enough to keep the body still. After all, these steps I mentioned only affect the lower part of the body. So if the culprit let things play out like that, the upper body would simply bend forward which would make all that stability effort go to waste.

Fortunately, the culprit is smart, she thought about that beforehand. That's why she brought the broom to the gym. That was the final step needed to keep the body still.

All Eden had to do next was place the broom through Ace's shirt in the back. As long as the body is standing against the wall, Ace would be unable to bend forward because of the broom. It's physically impossible.

You can even try it out yourself at home if you'd like. Pass a broom (preferably a clean one) through your shirt in the back, stand against a wall and try to bend forward. The broom blocks you from doing that.

Wouldn't the upper body be able to move sideways though?

Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't really matter though because the culprit simply needed to hold the body for a bit and all Eden needed to focus on is making sure that it wouldn't move sideways, everything else was taken care of. Moving on...

Truth bullet used : Eden's cables

Truth bullet used : Neck wounds

Truth bullet used : Smeared blood on the wall

Truth bullet used : Lack of blood anywhere else

Now that the body is stable, she needed to place that wire around Ace's neck, but how? Well, if we look at the neck wounds, you can see multiple slashes across his neck. And judging by the smeared blood on the wall, it seems to heavily imply that the neck wounds also reach the back side of his neck.

Well, actually, there's some incredibly minor pixelly details that seem to indicate that the neck wounds doesn't extend to the back. There's also this and-

Those are incredibly niche and minor details to claim that neck wounds doesn't go around the back of his neck which is still incredibly odd to me that people believe is the case considering the smeared blood. To me, it seems more like the creator added that blood on the wall to indicate that the neck wounds also go around his back even if we can't physically see it. In any case, I refuse to elaborate further on that. I'll explain why in the finale.

Anyways, there's also the lack of blood anywhere else during Teruko's investigation of the attempted murder. It seems really weird that there's not much other signs of blood considering how seemingly complex that mechanism must be. Some claim that some of these bloody spots must've been wiped off somehow, but I think there's a much, much simpler solution to this.

The culprit wrapped the cable around Ace's neck multiple times.

The best part in all this is that the culprit doesn't even need to tie it up. Even though it's simply going around his neck multiple times without a noose, the cable wouldn't come off. Heck, if you were to pull the wire one way, it would just tighten up Ace's neck.

If you're not convinced, you can try wrapping a plastic water bottle with some long wire and then try to pull it. It usually doesn't come off.

Act 9

Now that the cable was properly wrapped around Ace's neck, Eden had a few remaining finishing touches to complete the murder mechanism.

First off, now that Ace is properly tied up with the fan, all the materials that was used to keep the body stable was no longer needed and could be discarded.

Truth bullet used : Moved benches

Truth bullet used : Weight plates next to treadmill

Truth bullet used : Broom

Truth buller used : Stepladder

She removed the broom that was stuck in Ace's shirt. Then, she moved at least the left bench so that she'd have an easier access to drag the unconscious body. After that, she removed the weight plates on his feet and put it next to the treadmills. To finish it off, she moved the stepladder away from the fan since it was in the way.

After doing so, she then dragged Ace's standing body closer to the fan. Or rather, right below it, at the center.

Why didn't she place Ace's body under the fan to begin with? Moving it towards the wall seem unnecessary!

No, it was very much needed. Remember, Eden's not strong and she needed to make sure that the unconscious body wouldn't move while she's setting up the murder mechanism. Even if she were to make the body sit down, she would then need to make him stand up to tighten up the wire, but if there's no way to stabilize the backside, it would just fall backwards. Then if she would try to make sure it wouldn't go backwards, it could bend forward and so on. It wouldn't be practical.

That's precisely why she needed to make his body lean against the wall initially. Anyways, once Eden placed the body under the fan, she readjusted the wire a bit to make sure it would remain tight.

Couldn't she just leave the body standing against the wall for the murder mechanism?

Not really. The way the murder mechanism is supposed is work is like so..

Ace's body would be held by the wire which is attached by a blade of the fan. The fans are currently turned off. The only thing the culprit needed to do to commit murder is turn on the switch. By turning on the switch, the fan would spin along with the wire.

If the body was standing against the wall at the time, the wire would somewhat try to drag the body forward, which could potentially make the body fall, which could potentially break the fan.

If the body is standing right below the fan however, the wire wouldn't really drag his body since it is at the very center of the rotation. Once the fan spins along with the wire, the wire would wrap around his neck further, which tightens it even further, which could be what caused those neck wounds.

And that's what I think is what the murder mechanism is supposed to be.

Why would she go through so much work and efforts to make that kind of mechanism?

There's a couple reasons. Eden's not strong, as stated before, so there's a bunch of murder methods that she couldn't do by herself. Granted, she could easily do something like stabbing, but it's possible that she's the kind of the person who doesn't want to do the actual murder action herself. So the culprit would be more at ease if it was some kind of mechanism that would do the dirty deed for her.

But for a more reasonable explanation, working on a murder mechanism like that reminds her of her time spent working on clocks. Since clocks usually involve mechanisms, Eden would be more at ease working on something that's closer to her talents.

Truth bullet used : Hu's wires

Also, less practical reason, but still a reason nonetheless, since the culprit used some kind of wire as murder weapon, it could've been served as a way to throw in suspicions towards Hu. Even though the plan was meant to have Arei be the main suspect, it doesn't mean she couldn't throw suspicions indirectly on others as well. Besides, the more suspicions that's thrown at others, the less likely she would be caught.

Another good reason to it is because of the BDA rule. The rule states that "The Body Announcement will play when three or more people who did not witness the murder discover the body." She crafted that whole killing machine so that she would be able commit murder without witness the moment of murder.

Truth bullet used : On/Off switch for the fans

Eden simply needed to turn the switch of the fans back on and then exit the gym. She could go back to the dorm, letting the mechanism do its work and then next morning, if she goes with 2 other people to find Ace's dead body in the gym, it would trigger the BDA.

Act 10

That sounds great and all, but the murder plan failed anyways. What is even the point of all this?

Well, if everything went according to plan, it could've been a nearly perfect crime. But that didn't happen, as we all know. So what happened instead? Well, there's a simple reason why I suspect why Eden is the person responsible for the attempted murder on Ace.

Truth bullet used : Nico's motive to kill Ace

Truth bullet used : Nico caught in the act

Consider that Teruko and Eden found Nico next to Ace's that night, they're definitly involved in some shape or form. But since the murder mechanism was all of Eden's work, it would mean that Nico is the third party behind this fiasco.

While Eden was working on her murder mechanism, Nico decided that they wanted to murder Ace. The constant bullying pushed them to the edge. So they were desperatly looking for their target to commit murder.

But wait... if Nico was caught in the gym, how would they know to find Ace in here? Wouldn't they think that Ace would be sleeping at night in his dorm? Why wouldn't they look for him in the evening.

It's hard to say. I think there's honestly a lot of things that we don't know about Nico. They're quite the mystery. What we do know is that they were willing to murder Ace. We don't know their whole thought process, but they probably wanted to kill him at night since they would be less likely to be found out.

They probably tried knocking on Ace's door first, or maybe they kept a close eye to when Ace would come back to his dorm, but it never happened. So they probably eventually decided to go take a look around the building to see where he could be hiding.

But apparently, Nico never really thought about it when Veronika asked about how they envisioned killing Ace.

Maybe, but like I said, there's a lot that we don't know about Nico and from the looks of it, when Ace bullied Nico and they then replied that they would kill him, it seemed like a totally different behavior.

I don't know what's up with that, but that sinister behavior makes me believe that this is like a different form of Nico. Like a split personality, or his true self or something. We don't know for sure what it could be, but that different behavior could be what caused them to want to kill Ace at night.

My point is... because there's so much unknown about Nico, there's a vast amount of possibilities that would explain why they decided to murder Ace then and now. Moving on...

So Nico's looking around for his prey (hehe), they probably look around the first floor, but don't find him anywhere. So the only remaining option is taking the elevator to go on the second floor, he must be there after all.

Truth bullet used : Non-soundproof walls

Meanwhile, Eden suddenly hears the elevator making sounds. She realises that someone is approaching, but who and why this late at night?

Even though she completed the murder mechanism, she still wanted to clean up the crime scene a bit. Like... you know... placing the broom and stepladder back where it came from (storage room maybe), placing the discarded weight plates and moved benches back to their original position.

Unfortunatly, she can't do that, someone's coming, she needs to hide. So what does she do? She turns the switch of the fan back on, exits the gym and then hides in the dress-up room. Now, all she can do is hope and pray that whoever arrived will go back to the first floor.

But how would she not be aware that someone would arrive late at night? Wouldn't she have known that Nico probably wanted to kill Ace?

That's actually impossible. She couldn't have expected this at all.

Truth bullet used : Eden's incident in the infirmary

While the argument between Nico and Ace happened that day, Eden was busy having a private discussion with Arturo in the infirmary. She had a meeting so that she could reveal his secret and cause a potential conflict.

When Ace was threatening Nico that he would reveal their secret, at the time, Arturo, Eden and Arei was nowhere to be seen in the cafeteria, so it matches up perfectly.

So yeah... that was an unpleasant and unexpected surprise for Eden. The worst part in all of this is that when Nico reached the second floor, they actually entered the gym and that's when they discovered Ace about to be murdered by this weird mechanism.

This just became a disaster for Eden, someone found out about it too early and there's nothing she can do about it at the moment except to wait. So what does Nico do next?

Truth bullet used : On/Off switch for the fans

They turn off the fans.

What?! What would be the point of that?! He wants Ace dead, he doesn't want to save him! That doesn't make sense!

This is a golden opportunity for Nico! Think about it. They want to murder Ace, but then they see that potentially someone else already tried to murder him. It's hard to say if they knew what this whole mechanism meant, but they could see that the fan was playing a part to it.

So they probably realised : "Wait, I could turn it off and then kill him myself." That way, if the group somehow figures out the murder mechanism, they might not realise that someone else killed Ace in that moment.

But then Eden would've told the group about it. She would've been a witness and Nico would've been doomed at the trial.

Maybe, but the thing to keep in mind is that at the time, Nico didn't know that the person responsible for the murder mechanism was hiding somewhere on the second floor. After all...

Truth bullet used : Eden's sneakiness

Even though the walls are not soundproof, Eden is really sneaky, so she might've been able to hide without being noticed by Nico.

But like I said before, Nico never really thought about it when Veronika asked about how they envisioned killing Ace.

...Again with this. Like I said before, there's a lot that we don't know about Nico yet. It's precisely because he never thought about it that it makes me think that something's going on with Nico.

If Nico had something like a split personality, similar to Toko Fukawa, it would explain those oddities. Cliché'd or not, this is a fangan. So creators could definitly take inspiration from the original ones without a doubt. It would also explain why they weren't willing to share to Charles what happened there. Whether they was filled with regret or not, it's possible that they don't quite clearly remember how it went.

In any case, I refuse to elaborate further on that. I'll explain why in the finale.

Now that the fan is turned off, there are eitheir two things Nico could do : Kill Ace directly with a slightly different method, like physically strangling him or they simply turn the switch back on.

As long as they get the finishing blow, that should work.

Act 11

It's around this time that someone else joins the murder party on the second floor. We must not forget about Teruko! Based on what we saw on Episode 6, Teruko realises that she forgot her spare uniforms in the dress-up room on the second floor because she didn't want to use the same ol stinky clothes after taking a shower. So she then uses the elevator to go get her clothes on the second floor.

Eden hears footsteps, noticing that someone's approaching the dress-up room. Thinking it's the person who was in the gym, she goes : "W-who's there? I know you've been following me!"

But that was in fact Teruko who entered that room, so she replies : "What? No, I'm not. What are you talking about?"

Then Eden gets embarassed and nervous. She asks : "Oh, it's just you, Teruko. What are you doing here?" At the time, the culprit thought that it was the other person who visited the gym : Nico.

Teruko replies : "I could say the same to you. What are *you* doing here, at a time like this?" She makes a very good point. It's very suspicious of Eden to be present in here this late at night and Eden is aware of that. She's in trouble. If she doesn't come up with a valid excuse quickly, her plan will be completly ruined.

Truth bullet used : Ball of clothes

She then remembered that when she was gathering clothes to make some kind of blanket to cover Arei from the starched water, she noticed spares of Teruko's uniform. So with her quick wit, she came up with this : "Hu told me all about how MonoTV gave you both new outfits. I noticed you didn't take any of your new clothes, so I was going to deliver them to you! But I'm guessing that's also why you're here right now."

That excuse worked like a charm. Teruko believed it, as mistrusting as she may be. She was even nearly about to thank Eden for being so nice, but then remembered she needs to retain a mean and mistrusting persona.

So then they talk for a bit, they're about to go back to the first floor. Or at the very least, Teruko was about to go there first because she doesn't trust anyone else to take the elevator with her. Then all of a sudden, they hear loud noises coming from the gym. They enter the room and then we get to the scene of the attempted murder on Ace with Nico being caught in the act.

Act 12

While this whole scene between both girls happened, something else was happening back in the gym. So according to my theory, Nico turned off the fans. That wasn't just because of malicious intents by the way, there was also a logical reason behind it.

Truth bullet used : Left fan not spinning

Truth bullet used : Nico caught in the act

When Teruko and Eden discovered Ace's body while Nico was holding a piece of the wire, in that moment, the left fan wasn't working. It wouldn't make sense for the left fan to be broken like the one on the right since it was working just fine the next day.

This means that someone must've turned off the fans and the only possibility I can think of is if Nico turned them off for their own personal reasons. It just makes sense.

Anyways, as they were about plotting to murder Ace, something else happened that put a stop to their plan.

Truth bullet used : Non-soundproof walls

They heard someone using the elevator. Not only that, but they could hear Teruko and Eden talking in the dress-up room. They are now aware that there are people close by. They can't afford to do any funny business like murder if there are witnesses close by. They had no choice but to wait for them to go back to the first floor.

To make sure that they were indeed gone, they put their head against the door to listen closely to what's going on outside the fitness room.

While this was happening... yet another unexpected thing happend. Ace came back to consciousness!

That makes no sense! You have no proof of that!

You'll understand why I make that claim shortly. Be quiet and let me continue!

So let's think about Ace's point of view for a minute here. He wakes up in the fitness room. What are some of the things that he notices? Well, he sees Nico in the distance, by the door. Nico doesn't notice Ace who came back to consciousness because they were busy listening to the conversation between Teruko and Eden.

Truth bullet used : Neck wounds

Shortly afterwards, he would notice that his neck hurts. Confused, he's wondering what's going.

Truth bullet used : Eden's cables

Truth bullet used : Blood on Ace's fingers

Truth bullet used : Nico's motive to kill Ace

Truth bullet used : Ace's phobias

So Ace touches his neck and that's when he notices that there's blood. Then upon closer inspection, he realises that he's stuck with a wire wrapped around his neck. The terrifying conclusion comes to him in a flash : "Oh my god! Nico is about to freaking kill me! I don't wanna die!" This is partly why there's blood on Ace's fingers. He's having a moment of panic, but...

Truth bullet used : Non-soundproof walls

He can also hear two girls talking from outside the gym. So Ace knows that there's people around. He probably wanted to scream, but his neck probably hurt so bad that it might've been nearly impossible to speak at the moment.

So he needed to come up with another plan. What could he possibly do to get everyone's attention?

Truth bullet used : Ace working out

Truth bullet used : Piece of wire attached to fan

Truth bullet used : Other piece of wire

Truth bullet used : Blood on Ace's fingers

There's only one possible option he could do in a situation like this : brute force his way out of this death trap. So he grabs the wire from the front of his neck with both hands, tries to break that wire with all his might. While doing that, he's also pulling his body backwards.

That way, it would put stress on both the wires and the fan. So as long as eitheir breaks, that would do the trick. That would certainly explain why there spots on the wire that didn't have blood : Ace wiped them simply with his hands.

HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE! That can't be possible! You can't fully wipe blood on wires with just your hands that way. You'd need something to clean it up. Also, the position of the spots wouldn't quite realisticly match up the positions of where his hands would be and-

.........I refuse to elaborate on that. I'll explain why later in the finale.

Moving on... Fortunately for Ace, when he tried to eitheir break the wire or the fan, both happened at the same time.

Truth bullet used : Moved benches

Truth bullet used : Piece of wire attached to fan

Truth bullet used : Other piece of wire

Truth bullet used : Ripped out right fan

Truth bullet used : Ace's sitting position

Truth bullet used : Smeared blood on the wall

So what exactly happened when he succeeded in brute forcing his way out? Well, the cable break in two, which would explain both pieces of wire found. Then, the right fan would be ripped out of the ceiling, which would perfectly explain why it was found on the ground.

As the fan breaks, Ace's backwards momemtum would make him fall behind. This would result in him having a sitting position with his back against the wall. The impact of his head against the wall, would make his head move a bit, which would perfectly explain the smear on the wall.

Also, while he's falling backwards, he would also hit the right bench, which would make it topple over. That would cleanly explain why Teruko found a toppled bench during Ace's body discovery.

And of course, all of that creates a very loud noise, which got Teruko and Eden curious.

But what about Nico?

Well... they're kinda screwed. But more importantly, they're as confused as the girls outside. After all, they were busy listening to the conversation, so they have no idea what the hell just happened there.

So when they turn around, they just see this mess... They can't help but wonder what in the heavens happened here. So they approach the "crime scene" and get rather curious about the broken wire. So they grab one piece of the wire and...

Act 13

Truth bullet used : Nico caught in the act

Truth bullet used : Nico's motive to kill Ace

Truth bullet used : Hu's wires

Truth bullet used : Hu being protective of Nico

Truth bullet used : Turpentine

That's when we get the scene where Teruko and Eden finds Ace presumably dead. They also find Nico holding a piece of the wire that has blood on it. This, ladies and gentleman, is how the whole attempted murder on Ace went down in my opinion. It would perfectly explain all the clues found here.

Not only that, but that would be perfect to make us believe without a shred of a doubt that it was Nico who truly did all of that.

Why? It's simple! Teruko catches Nico in the act, so that's already very suspicious. We also know that they wanted to have a painting session with Rose, so it's very easy to believe that Nico might've stolen the turpentine to knock Ace unconscious.

Then, we see that the murder weapon looks like some kind of wire. What do we know about wires? According to the list of custom weapons, Hu's weapon are wires.

Add that to the fact that she's trying to protect Nico from all the bullying like an overprotective mother, we get the following result : Nico really wanted to kill Ace and Hu wanted to help, so Hu became the accomplice by giving them wires.

Wouldn't it make a lot more sense to believe that all of this is just a giant red herring?! A devil trick pulled by the DRDT creator themselves! If that's truly what happened, then I can't help but applaud the creator for coming up with such an elaborate mystery.

Another thing to take note : Eden is really surprised and confused upon seeing the chaotic mess. Her whole mechanical creation broken apart. She couldn't but utter those words : "AHHHHHHH! Wh...What?? What is this??"

Also, Eden notices something else that's entirely wrong : she knows that Ace is not dead.

Huh? How come?!

Think about it. The reason why she made this murder mechanism is to be able to count as a person for the BDA rule since she didn't need to be in the gym for the murder to happen. So when they came across this whole mess, there were at least 3 alive people : Teruko, Eden and Nico. If Ace was truly dead, the BDA would've triggered by now, but that's not what happened.

So Eden knew that her whole murder attempt on Ace failed. Her whole plan failed.

Anyways, Teruko shouts at Nico, they run away and leave the crime scene. So what about Ace? Well...

Act 14

Ace is supposed to be back to consciousness, yet at the time, he's presumably. Well... it's more accurate to say that we were led to believe that he's unconscious. So what's up with that?

There's two options. He eitheir hit his head so hard against the wall that he lost consciousness again. It's a funny theory to think about, but I seriously don't think that's what happened.

So that means it's most likely the other option : Ace pretended to be dead/unconscious.

That's just insane! Why would Ace do that?!

Well, initially, I think it was to fool Nico. Since Ace was absolutely that he was the murderer, he didn't know what to expect of them. So by pretending to be unconscious still, Nico would turn around to see the mess and they would probably not immediatly suspect that this was caused by Ace. It would make sense since they were seen holding a piece of wire, probably wondering what the hell happened.

Well, Nico's gone though. Couldn't he have dropped the act?

He probably could've, but there was something that made him not want to reveal it.

Truth bullet used : Ace acting tough

By that, I don't mean that he's pretending to be dead because he wants to act tough. That wouldn't make sense. I'm referring to the argument scene with Levi way back in Episode 2. He had a change of behavior since then and he even stated that he would rely on himself alone.

In simpler terms, he's practically acting like Teruko : not trusting anyone and working on his own. In essence, when Teruko does that, it really does make her look tough. Maybe Ace took a little bit of inspiration from it, who knows?

Wouldn't it make more sense to reveal to the girls what truly happened? That would make him look like a tough badass!

Maybe, but remember, he doesn't trust anyone else anymore and wants to work on his own. So by pretending to be dead at the time, no one would realise what truly transpired in the fitness room. So by doing that, he's hiding secrets from others, kind of like hiding the real strength of his hand in poker by making it look weak. That's also why Ace refuses to share anything to Charles about what happened in the gym. Moving on...

Teruko proceeds with the investigation while Eden is busy crying over this "body discovery".

What is Eden truly plotting here? It's simple. She's trying to think of an plan B and quick. After all, like I mentioned in the whydunnit, she really wants to get out of here, so she needs to murder someone.

On top of that, Arei is still stuck inside the relaxation room. If no murder happens real soon, things would look pretty bad for Eden. But then, she realised something... Arei is still trapped inside the relaxation room. This is the perfect opportunity.

As long as Arei is trapped in here, she could proceed to kill her next morning at the earliest time. She would rather not do it, but she has no choice, especially if she wants to complete her goal of exiting this killing game. This is the only remaining move possible. It's all or nothing!

So by the time Teruko finishes the investigation, Eden finally comes up with a proper plan B for the murder scheme. For that to work, she needed something in that gym.

Truth bullet used : Roll of grippy tape

So Eden tells Teruko : "Okay, I'm ready. I'm okay. Am I needed, Teruko? Let me help investigate." She would then proceed to "investigate" the crime scene when in reality, she's trying to grab the roll of tape while she's distracted.

The distraction happens around the time where Teruko approaches Ace's body to inspect it more closely.

This is bad for Ace for two reasons. One, she would notice that Ace is still alive which we do notice her reaction in Episode 6. Two, she would notice the blood on his fingers/hands. If she were to notice that, it would help her get closer to learning the truth about what happened here and that's not what Ace wants at all.

That's why he comes up with potentially the best bluff I've ever seen.

Act 15

Truth bullet used : Ace acting tough

Truth bullet used : Blood on Ace's fingers

Truth bullet used : Neck wounds

Ace decides that now's the best time to pretend to wake up to consciousness and make this hilariously loud shout to showcase that he's not dead. Here's something really interesting about this pose however.

Look at his hands. He put his left hand on his neck wounds while he's clenching his right hand. What do they both have in common? Well, it's meant to hide the fact that there was blood on his fingers beforehand, of course! The same thing happens later on.

Ace now placed his right hand on his neck wounds, covering his hand with blood to make it look like the blood on his hands originally came from touching his wounds at the moment, not before.

So by putting on this act, Ace was able to disguise his bloody hands which hides the truth behind what may have truly happened while also putting on this tough guy act. Neitheir Teruko or Eden would suspect a thing.

And of course, this would also explain why Ace is so insistent on believing that Nico tried to kill him : He saw them with his own eyes. Anyone in Ace's shoes would believe the same thing.

Truth bullet created : Ace's actions in the gym

So later on, Ace tries to chase after Nico back to their dorm. MonoTV kicks Eden and Teruko out of the gym and locks it. Then they back to the first floor to follow Ace. Then there's the scene with Teruko, Eden, Ace and Levi involved. Ace claims that he doesn't need help because he doesn't trust the others and wants to act tough and on his own.

Ace goes back to his dorm, Levi goes back to his dorm and Teruko doesn't care about Ace's condition, so she goes back to her dorm. What about Eden? Well... it's time for plan B!

Act 16

Now that everyone went back to bed. Eden shouldn't have to worry about any other surprises, so late night of DAY 2 should be the perfect time to set up the second murder mechanism among other things. There was yet again a lot of work to do. But that's fine, she mentioned in the prologue that she can work on something for many hours without taking a break.

She had two main goals in mind to make her whole murder scheme work.

Create a murder mechanism at a different location so that the mechanism would do the dirty deed for her. The best possible location for this would be the playground.

Create a perfect alibi so that no one would suspect her. For that to work, she would need to disguise the actual time of death so that people would presume the victim died at a later died, which would be a time where the culprit would have an alibi.

So while Arei is still trapped inside the relaxation room, Eden could work on gathering the materials to make a nearly perfect disguise and make the necessary preparations for the murder mechanism in the playground. Let's start with gathering the materials for the disguise.

Why would Eden need to make a disguise?

It's simple. What would be the best way to make it look like Arei was still alive on DAY 3? By having someone disguised practically like her and being present in a place where there's multiple people for a short period of time.

But she looks nothing like Arei! That's impossible!

We have a lot of clues that could make it possible, as unbelievable as it may sound.

Truth bullet used : Wigs

Truth bullet used : Make-up kit

Truth bullet used : Eden's sneakiness

First, she stealthily entered Arei's dorm (she probably had Arei's monopad or whatever it was to unlock that door) to take a look at her spare uniforms. Upon closer inspection, she notices that there's a small problem : there are no spare gloves. It would appear that this is a unique kind of accessory for Arei, so she's gonna have no choice but to take it from Arei's body after killing her.

Truth bullet created : Arei's spare uniform

Next up, she would go to the second floor to grab a certain wig and the make-up kit in the dress-up room. There's this blue wig that looks like Arei's hairstyle, so that should do the trick. Once it's been gathered, she temporarily placed them in Arei's dorm. Most of the disguise materials were collected, time for the next step.

Act 17

It was time to gather the materials for the second murder mechanism.

Truth bullet used : Roll of grippy tape

Truth bullet used : Long rope under carousel

Truth bullet used : Rope attached to Arei's neck

Truth bullet used : Empty jugs with broken handles

Eden already had the roll of grippy tape with her, so we don't have to worry about that. She first grabbed the water jugs that probably came from the fridge. Of course, the handles weren't broken at the time.

And finally, she took the rope that belonged to Arei, but was sent to the storage room. I don't know if there were two ropes or only one very long rope. But if there was only one, then Eden must've used a knife in the kitchen to cut it in two. That was necessary to make her murder mechanism work. That would explain the two ropes found in the playground on Episode 8.

Truth bullet created : Water jugs

Now that this was all gathered, she then needed to move them to the playground to start building that murder machinery.

Truth bullet used : Roll of grippy tape

Truth bullet used : Long rope under carousel

Truth bullet used : Broken ceiling light

Once she arrived at the playground, Eden first needed to throw that rope above this metal railing by the ceiling, whatever it's called. She wanted to create a pulley system, so that step was important.

The culprit picked the longer rope of the two, then she put the rope through the roll of tape, tied it up and then threw it upwards as hard as possible.

It's two floors high, Eden's not strong enough to throw it up there!

She may be weak, but she can definitly pull that task. There's a specific reason why I believe the culprit used the roll of tape. It'd be incredibly light and it has a handle, which makes it really easy to chuck it high up in the air.

Even if she doesn't succeed the first, she had plenty time to keep trying until she succeeded. Eventually, she would succeed, but she would accidently hit the lights which would break it in the process.

The weight of the tape is probably not enough to break it.

We don't know that for sure. Besides, if I recall, MonoTV mentioned that the lights were flickering, which can simply be caused by a misplaced light bulb. So it could very well do the trick with enough speed. But in case you think that's not enough, I'll go ahead and say that I refuse to elaborate further on that matter, I'll explain why in the finale. Moving on...

Truth bullet used : Roll of grippy tape

Truth bullet used : Carousel wrapped with tape

Next up, the culprit wrapped the bars of the spinny thing with tape. The reason why was because the carousel was essential for the pulley system. She needed to spin it to raise the rope among other things

At the moment, the bars are pretty slippery, so she needed something applied to the bars so that she wouldn't the grip. Hence, the grippy tape.

Well, that's impossible! The roll of tape by itself wouldn't be enough to cover all the bars of that carousel. Where would she get more of that tape?!

Eden didn't need more tape, that was all that she needed to wrap all those bars.

Now, you're just being delusional! It can't cover all the bars with that alone!

Heh! Are you sure about that? I know that most of you are under the impression that the bars of the spinny thing must be wrapped up horizontally, kind of like putting tape on a tennis racket's handle.

By thinking outside the box, there's actually a way to explain this issue. It's very simple once you realise it. The culprit wrapped the bars vertically!

By that, I mean that she starts applying the tape from the top of the bar and then drags it straight down. Once it reaches the bottom, she just needs to cut the tape and then the extra width of the tape will go around the carousel bar. That way, Eden can save a lot of tape and would have plenty with that roll of tape.

The bars seem fairly large though. I doubt it would be enough to cover the bar with only one length of tape.

Hard to say. But if that's truly a problem, you can easily fix it by using a second length of tape on that same bar. So each bar would have 2 lengths of tape.

And if that somehow makes you think that there wouldn't be enough tape by doing it that way, then there's nothing else I can do to please you. I refuse to elaborate further on that. I will explain why in the finale. Moving on...

Truth bullet used : Water jugs

Truth bullet used : Long rope under carousel

It's not time to attach that rope to the appropriate items. On one end, she would tie both water jugs together in such a way that it would be hanging from the handles. At the other end of that rope, Eden makes a noose around one of the bars of the carousel.

She then tests out the pulley system to see if it actually works. If the pulley system doesn't properly work from simply tying up the rope to one of the bars, then there's an alternative. As @1moreff-creator suggested in the past, you just weave the rope through some of the handlebars and that should do the trick.

Truth bullet created : Pulley system

And with that, the preparations for the second murder mechanism would be complete at the moment. There are a few remaining steps, but she can't do it without the body, so she'll have to wait next morning.

Act 18

While Eden is waiting for the door of the relaxation room to unlock at 8:00 AM, there were a few things that she could do. Those are not necessarily things that she did, but could've happened to make sure the plan was perfect.

Truth bullet used : Wigs

Truth bullet used : Make-up kit

Truth bullet used : Arei's spare uniform

Truth bullet used : Needle with black string attached

Of course, she didn't put on the disguise at night even though that would technicly save time. The reason why is because if Eden proceeded to disguise herself into Arei at night, waited for the doors to unlock next morning, murder her, then hide back the body, it would take so much physical efforts out of her that she would be sweating. This would ruin the disguise.

So instead, she tested out the products to make sure that they worked perfectly. For the wig, the culprit could try to readjust the hair so that it would look a lot more like Arei's hairstyle.

Then, for the make-up kit, she would find the right materials to change her skin tone so that it would match Arei's. She probably puts it on her hand or wrist and tries out various combinations until she finds the perfect color. Once she's done with that, she can simply wash it away for the time being. Oh, also, she would take the time to find proper contacts to match Arei's eye colors as well.

Next up would be the uniform. She tried it on to make sure it would fit perfectly. Eden probably knows that she's a bit smaller than Arei, so there could be some differences. She cannot recreate Arei's height, that would be impossible. It's not like Arei is wearing high heels anyways.

If the disguise is not quite perfect, she could probably try to readjust it somehow with a needle and a few basic sewing skills. I'm no expert in this, and it's unsure if Eden truly did that anyways. What matters is that there was the option available before her if needed.

Now that she's fully prepared for the murder scheme, it was time for the culprit to wait in front of the relaxation room until the door unlocks.

Act 19

It is now 8:00 AM of DAY 3, it's time to retrieve the body!

As the door of the relax room unlocks, Eden would proceed to grab Arei's body and drag it to the playground. The turf would probably be dry by now. Otherwise, why would MonoTV allow others to enter that room this early and potentially make a mess if the ground happened to still be wet and gross?

There's no way Arei would still be unconscious for such a long time. Ace woke up in fewer hours than the time it took for the culprit to wait for the doors of the relax room to open.

Ace woke up earlier because of the neck wounds, most likely. We don't really know how effective or potent this turpentine actually is. But based on my deductions, it would make a lot more sense to believe that Arei was unconscious this whole time.

Otherwise, she would have starch all over her if she woke up at night and wandered around that room. For all we know, maybe she was about to come back to consciousness very soon that morning. Maybe the culprit brought the turpentine with her just in case to make sure she remains unconscious. With that said, I refuse to elaborate further on that. I'll explain why in the finale.

Anyways, now that the culprit brought the body back to the playground, she now had access to the missing piece to complete the perfect disguise.

Truth bullet used : Arei's missing glove

It appears to be unique. So Eden took it off Arei's hand and stored it somewhere safe... like her pouch that's around her belt. That would perfectly explain why the victim's glove was missing during the investigation in Episode 8.

Act 20

The final preparations are complete, it's now time for murder! Eden needed to place the body at the right position along with a few remaining props.

Truth bullet used : Roll of grippy tape

Truth bullet used : Rope attached to Arei's neck

Truth bullet used : Red marks on Arei's wrists

Truth bullet used : Scrunched up tape

Truth bullet used : Scuffed ground

Considering the red marks on Arei's wrists when she was found dead alongside the scrunched up tape found in the trash, the obvious logical conclusion we can get out of this is that her wrists were tied up with the grippy tape. The real question though is for what purpose did she do that?

According to my theory, the victim would still be unconscious, so there's no point in tying her wrists to make sure she doesn't escape or fight back or whatever. So by thinking outside the box, I've concluded that the culprit did it because it was a necessary step for the murder scheme.

Then you have to consider the scuffed marks that was found on the ground of the playground in a specific location. It couldn't have been from a fight or struggle since Arei should've been unconscious, so something else should've happened. That's when I came up with this brilliant idea.

For reference, the scuffed marks were found a few feet away from the seasaw (Don't mind the drawing). Also, the yellow stickman where we can't see the legs represents the victim : Arei. The green scribbles represent the other piece of rope, the one that's not as long as the one used for the pulley, but still somewhat long. The subtle grey scribbles by the seasaw and the yellow man's hands represents the grippy tape applied to Arei's wrists.

So here's how it's supposed to work. First, Eden brings the body close by the seasaw and then place Arei's arms between both poles (supports) of the seasaw. Next up, she would bind tightly the victim's wrists together with the grippy tape so that the body wouldn't be able to easily move away from the seasaw through a forceful pulling motion.

Then, she would use the other rope to make a noose around Arei's neck. However, she wouldn't tie the other end of the rope to the spinny thing just yet, she will do that later. For now, she placed that end of the rope as close to the carousel as possible.

I still don't see how that would create scuffed marks to the ground...

That's because I haven't shown you the magic trick yet! Let's continue!

Truth bullet used : Pulley system

Now that the other rope was set up, it was now time to use the pulley system she created last night. First, the culprit spins the carousel in the rotation (let's say clockwise) that would pull the water jugs (that are hanging by the other rope of that rope) upwards. She would pull as much as she possibly can. Then once the water jugs reach the maximum height, it was time for the next step.

Truth bullet used : Rope attached to Arei's neck

The culprit needed her hands to tie the other rope that was close by her with the spinny thing's handlebar. Of course, there's a bit of weight from the water jugs, so she couldn't simply let go of the pulley. Therefore, she must've been holding the carousel with one or both legs. If tying the rope with one of the handlebars wasn't enough, Eden could've also weaved through a few of them like before.

Now, here comes to most exciting part, the "tada!" of the murder trick! She takes out her leg(s) from the spinny thing, she holds it again with her hands and then... she spins it counterclockwise as hard and as fast as possible!

That way, the water jugs would fall down pretty fast, especially if the spinny were to cause resistence of friction (making it fall slowly if it was the culprit only released). So they would fall fast, while the other rope would wind up along the carousel up until that rope reaches the limit.

As the rope reaches the limit... SNAP!

Truth bullet used : Arei's broken neck

Truth bullet used : Empty jugs with broken handles

Truth bullet used : Scuffed ground

So what happened in that moment? Well, Arei's dead. It breaks Arei's neck because of the immediate stop of the rope attached to her neck which was also pulled in by spinny thing in a pretty fast rate. This is the mainly reason why her wrists were bound. Otherwise, her whole body would've been dragged towards the carousel, which wouldn't really guarantee a killing blow.

But since the victim's wrists were stuck around the seasaw, it wouldn't move much... except for her lower body. It created a knee jerk movement reaction of her legs because of that violent pulling motion. Because of that, this would scrape the ground, which would cause the scuffed marks on the ground.

Hold on! Would it actually be enough to explain ALL these scuffed marks on the ground?

Maybe, maybe not. At the very least, the culprit could've simply created more marks on the ground to make it look more like it came from a struggle. That wouldn't be a problem at all since it's very easy to do damage the ground purposefully.

Anyways, that wouldn't be the only thing that would break. There's also the water jugs! As the rope holding Arei's neck would come to an abrupt stop, it would also make an abrupt stop to the longer rope used for the pulley system which is also what was holding the jugs by the handles. The violent motion would make the rope cut through these flimsy plastic handles, which the jugs would then fall to the ground and spill all over the playground.

The water spill is no issue at all whatsoever and was already planned by the culprit because she knew beforehand that the wet ground would dry up fairly quickly because of the fans at the ceiling.

And there you go! This... is how the actual murder happened... in my opinion. That would explain a lot of clues found perfectly, wouldn't it?

Anyways, Eden's nowhere done yet. That would only her first goal achieved : create a murder mechanism at a different location so that the mechanism would do the dirty deed for her.

Next up, it was time to create a perfect alibi so that no one would suspect her. There was still a lot of work to do.

Act 21

She had a disguise trick to do, but before doing that, she needed to get rid of a couple pieces of evidence. The main issue however is that because she had no choice but to murder Arei past 8:00 AM, someone could wake up very soon if they haven't done so already. But Eden couldn't leave all that evidence behind, especially the body. So whatever she needed to get rid of or hide, it needed to be done really fast. So anything that wasn't too essential in hiding could help her save time. So here's what she did...

Truth bullet used : Scrunched up tape

Truth bullet used : Red marks on Arei's wrists

Truth bullet used : Long rope under carousel

Truth bullet used : Eden's letter

Truth bullet used : Torn-up note

Truth bullet used : Empty jugs with broken handles

Truth bullet used : Needle with black string attached

Eden took off the tape that kept the victim's wrists bound. Even though it leaves red marks which would make it fairly easy to deduce for the others to figure out that she was bound, she had no choice but to remove that tap if she wanted to move that body and hide it.

She untied both ropes that had a noose on the spinny thing. She then pulled the longer rope used for the pulley system and then put all that rope under the carousel. She left the tape stuck on the handlebars, it would take too long and there was not enough time.

Next up, Eden's letter. It's hard to say if the culprit truly made that letter as a mean to lure Arei into the playground earlier in the evening of DAY 2 and then knock her unconscious or if she simply made up that whole message at nighttime instead for the whole purpose of fabricating a perfect alibi.

Whichever it is, the culprit needed to tear up that note and throw it in the trash can. She didn't want to downright get rid of it. She wanted the others to find out about it sometime during the investigation. It was a necessary step of her plan to both make her alibi look more credible and also make herself look the least suspicious.

She also threw away the tape that was bound to Arei's wrists previously (which would now be scrunched up), the empty jugs and that needle to the trash. She no longer needed them and it wouldn't make it as easy to figure out the crime if the jugs were separated from the playground. Of course, she couldn't bring those jugs with her and get rid of them completly in case that she ends up running into someone back on the first floor.

Truth bullet used : Rope attached to Arei's neck

Truth bullet used : Ball of clothes

Later on, Eden would drag the body away from the playground to then hide it in the relaxation room. She knew a decent spot to hide the body. She didn't undo the rope attached to the victim's neck since it was unnecessary.

People would know that her cause of death has to be related to the rope. It was also a waste of time, so not doing anything about it would save time which is exactly what the culprit needs. Also, she probably put the blanket of old clothes above the dead body to hide it better.

Ridiculous! Where would Eden even hide the body?

Truth bullet used : Box of incense

If I had to guess... probably somewhere behind those blue curtains. Preferably close by the box of incense. This spot appears to be further away from where most of the people would be relaxing. Most people would relax where there's the yoga mats and pillows. So that spot by the box of incense wouldn't be as obvious. Besides, there was another reason behind it.

Considering that the culprit is hiding it to fabricate their alibi, it would mean that the corpse would be here for a full day possibly. Wouldn't it mean that the body would decompose and create a noticeable smell?

It's honestly hard to say. I have sources that tells me that it doesn't go through that stage of body decomposition after 24 hours, it's usually more than that. But it also depends on various conditions. We don't know eitheir if the creator took that into account at all. But whether or not it was intended, I have an idea that would suggest that Eden planned ahead and used something in the relaxation room to make her alibi even stronger.

That's just utter nonsense! There's no such thing!

That's where you're wrong!

Truth bullet used : Incense sticks

The culprit used the incense sticks to create a natural timer mechanism!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

Do you remember what I've said about these incense sticks before act 6? "Burning a whole stick can take up to an hour, but the lingering smell can last for multiple hours." That wasn't made up. That was something that I found out with a simple google search.

So let's rewind the story back to DAY 1. MonoTV announces that they have access to the 2nd floor. Teruko proceeds to investigate and finds out interesting facts about each room. It's very possible that Eden was also investigating at a different time period that day.

That would explain how she was able to come up with such complex and ingenius murder schemes according to my theory.

Culprit complimentations aside, she learned things about the relaxation room and probably noticed the smell of the incense sticks. Because we had a timeskip due to Teruko isolating herself to her dorm most of DAY 1, it's possible that Eden came back to the relaxation room later in the evening and noticed that the smell of the incense sticks disappeared. She would then have a rough idea of how long this incense smell lasts.

Now fast forward to the night of DAY 2, after the attempted murder on Ace failed. When she was plotting a new murder plan and figured out her only remaining option was killing Arei, she would remember the time of the lingering smell of said incense sticks. She would use that seemingly minor detail to her advantage.

Why does it matter having a timer?! That doesn't make sense!

It all has to do with her second goal : creating the perfect alibi. She didn't just want to hide the body for an unknown period of time, she wanted someone to find the body at some point while she's busy building her alibi with someone else.

So by using the incense sticks as a timer mechanism, she would just need to wait for someone to spend time in the relaxation room sometime in the evening. That person would eitheir notice a weird smell (of the corpse decomposing) or a lack of incense sticks smell and they would approach the box of incense to eitheir burn new sticks or to follow the source of the weird smell.

And that's how it works!

Act 22

Now that Eden cleaned up most of the important clues, she then went back to the first floor, back to Arei's dorm.

Truth bullet used : Eden's sneakiness

As long as she's sneaky enough and waits for the right time, I'm sure she would be able to enter Arei's dorm without being noticed. And then she would spend a couple hours putting on the make up and the disguise. Well actually... maybe she took a shower first.

You don't have a single shred of proof that any of this happened! Your theory just doesn't work!

If that was the case, then why does my theory line up perfectly with most of the clues found. But more importantly, why does it line up perfectly with what happened to Teruko in the morning of DAY 3?

Teruko overslept at the most convenient time for someone like Eden to commit murder around the morning of DAY 3 while also setting up her disguise.

This also lines up perfectly with what's happening afterwards. Teruko wakes, decides to go to the cafeteria during lunchtime. She finds a group of people there. Ace is having an argument with Nico because he's pretty sure that Nico tried to kill him, which is understandable. The others have their eyes on that heated argument and then...

Truth bullet used : Wigs

Truth bullet used : Make-up kit

Truth bullet used : Arei's spare uniform

Truth bullet used : Arei's missing glove

That's all you get from Arei and you don't see her anytime afterwards up until the BDA. Not only that, but she doesn't say a single thing, she's staying quiet. There's no way you can't find that suspicious in any way. Having Eden pull off a disguise trick would explain it perfectly!

Truth bullet created : Eden's disguise trick

This can't work! Teruko was staring at Arei, she would've noticed something strange about her!

Nope, she wouldn't. It's heavily implied that Teruko has prosopagnosia. This defines as having the inability of recognizing faces. She can only recognize people with their hair, eye color, skin tone. At least, that's what it seems to be when she's having a chat with Veronika in the movie screening room in Episode 7, in the evening of DAY 3. Therefore, she couldn't have recognised that something's off about her.

Anyone else who was in the cafeteria would've noticed something strange about her!

Aside from the fact that she's being quiet, not really. Why? It's simple.

Truth bullet used : Ace acting tough

Truth bullet used : Hu being protective of Nico

The constant bullying and arguing that Ace is doing towards Nico is causing a big distraction within the cafeteria. Hu was also busy defending Nico, which also plays a part in the distraction. Also, Ace is doing this because he's trying to show how much of a badass he is, despite being nearly killed. He's not holding back.

Well, Rose would've noticed! She saw her at lunch and she has a photographic memory!

Maybe, maybe not. Granted, she did see her, but we don't know for sure if she truly saw something off. After all, she tends to be absent-minded. It is possible that in future episodes, she will remember something that was a little different about Arei thanks to her photographic memory. We shouldn't fully deny the disguise trick just because of a potential witness.

Even then, it would be ridiculously risky! What if someone wanted to talk to her? The wig's light blue, not blue like Arei's hair! Is Eden even good at using make-up? I don't think she'd be able to replicate a good skin tone. And there's also that bowling pin, it's an accessory, shouldn't it be unique like the glove? What about-

Enough! ...I refuse to elaborate further on that matter. You'll understand why later in the finale. What matters for now is that I found a way to explain how the disguise trick could work and fit in with most of the clues.

Act 23

Now that the disguise trick is completed, what happens next? Well, now that the hardest part of the plan is done, she no longer needs to stick around as Arei, so she probably goes back to her actual dorm when no one's around.

Next up to the plan would be to create her alibi, but she only needs to do that from evening to night. So for the time being, Eden can take a good, hot shower and take a good nap. She did a good job, she deserved it! Let's go Eden! (We're proud of you!)

While it's not evening yet, let's take a look at two other characters who had some pretty big events happening to them yesterday. Let's start with Ace! He... had a very terrifying and traumatic experience last night, that's for sure.

Truth bullet used : Ace's phobias

I mean... He's afraid of a lot of things. Death is especially one of them. So there's no doubt in my mind that this scared the crap out of him. I'd like to believe that when he was arguing with Levi, Teruko and Eden last night sometime after the murder attempt, when he went back to his dorm, he probably shattered.

He was probably shaking at the thought that he honestly seriously died. Not only that, but it was Nico, of all people, who tried to kll him (according to him, of course). Nico, the person that he bullied constantly because they were inferior to him was able to pull that off? He has a weak mental fortitude, so for him to not break down at all anytime we see him after the attempted murder just seems suspicious to me.

Truth bullet used : Ace acting tough

Of course, he's trying to act tough, he doesn't want to show it. Or maybe he wants to be in control of his emotions or whatever. Which, it kinda makes sense, but... there's only so much you can manage mentally. As much as he tries to put on a tough guy act, eventually, the phobias will get to you, the old habits will come back.

Of course, you can improve those kind of issues to the point where it barely becomes a major issue anymore, but these kind of things take time. But of course, that's just my perception and assumption of things. What matters is that there's the possibility that this near death experience affected him a lot more than it seems which will be important later.

As for the other person... let's talk about David for a bit.

Truth bullet used : David's plan

He didn't have an experience as traumatic as Ace, but something happened that messed up with his manipulative plan : Arei knows about his secret and his plan. Well, she doesn't quite know precisely about David's intents regarding the plan of sharing secrets, but she knew something was off and wanted to make sure that there was no ill intent behind it.

Regardless, learning that someone else found out about his secret and their suspicious plan gives a pretty bad taste in his mouth. Not only that, but if his murder instigating plan succeeds, if the victim was someone else than Arei, she could've called him out on it, which would ruin his whole plan.

David is probably constantly thinking about that. He's realising that he's in a very bad spot right now. If no murder happens in the next days, then his secret would be exposed still. So no matter which will it'll go, he's always gonna have his secret exposed. David is literally screwed. That's why he's not in a good mood as shown in the evening of DAY 3.

So what does he do for the afternoon? Nothing much, really. He's probably pondering about a lot of negative things, thinking how miserable he is or something. In any case, he needs some time to be alone.

Act 24

We are now approaching the evening of DAY 3, what happens next?

Let's start with the obvious. Eden wakes up from her nice nap and proceeds to meet up with Hu to spend time with her for the evening. This is pretty much confirmed ever since Chapter 2 Episode 10 when Hu explained her alibi with Eden. According to my theory, that would be part of the culprit's plan to fabricate the perfect alibi.

Next up is Ace. Under normal circumstances, he would've spent the evening working out in the fitness room. However, because of that horrifying near death experience, he didn't want to bother with that at all and he doesn't trust anyone else. So he figured that the best thing to do was isolating himself in his dorm for the night.

But his eating disorder would've compel him to work out in the gym anyways!

Maybe, maybe not. There's no way to tell if the creator really intended for that to happen. So eitheir option would be possible, but the one that would make the most sense is if he stayed in his room. It would match up perfectly with my theory alongside a few other events I haven't explained yet. As long as my method is possible and makes sense, it should do.

And finally, we have David. His plan became a mess, he's in a bad mood. He doesn't know what to do. In any case, he somehow decides to go to the kitchen in the evening.

Why's that? Unsure, there must've been some reason, or maybe there wasn't. Maybe he just wanted to wander in the kitchen. Or maybe he thought he was gonna be able to spend time alone in kitchen, but he didn't think there would be people here at that time. Who knows?

What matters is the following...

Whit suggests to David to chill in the relaxation room, which is exactly what he does. This would conveniently line up well with Eden's plan.

Act 25

At this point during the evening of DAY 3, sometime before 10:00 AM, we only need to focus on David. So upon entering the relaxation room to... you know... relax, David notices at some point something that's off with that room.

Truth bullet used : Incense sticks

There's no longer a lingering smell of a burning incense stick (or maybe it was the weird smell from the corpse).

Truth bullet used : Box of incense

So he approaches the box of incense and then he notices something different about the blue curtains. There's something there! So David removes anything that was in the way and that's when he discovers the dead body of Arei.

David is the first person to discover the victim's corpse.

I object to that! Nico was feeding the fishes earlier that evening. Shouldn't they have noticed something odd about the smell?

Not if the lingering smell of the incense sticks was still there at the time. They wouldn't have noticed if the smell is the same as usual.

The lingering smell of the incense stopped sometime between Nico's visit and David's visit to the relax room. That was a pretty convenient timing, but it makes sense.

Now, we gotta wonder how David reacted to it. He was obviously surprised and shocked. It's hard to say if he felt happy, angry or sad about for one particular reason.

Truth bullet used : David's plan

Earlier, his plan was ruined because Arei knew about most of it. The only way he could make sure that he gets away with his secret hidden would be to have Arei dead. This... is exactly what happened. Arei's been murdered. His secret is now safe again.

Maybe he had a mix of many emotions. His plan was no longer ruined after all. There was a problem however : if he leaves things as is and the group later finds the body, David would become a prime suspect and they would force their way to find out about David's secret.

Not only that, but if they seriously suspect that he's the killer, then he, alongside the others, would lose the class trial and die. David's in big trouble.

Uh... why would David care about the trial? In chapter 1, after the execution, he commented that everyone's gonna die.

Truth bullet used : David's plan

Oh, he does care about death for sure. His whole plan was creating conflicts with others through sharing secrets in the attempt of instigating a murder.

If he didn't care about death or the trial, why wouldn't he simply kill someone instead. There's only one possible explanation : he doesn't want to die. He wanted someone else to do the dirty deed so that he would both have his secret and safe and live to see another day. He tried to kill two birds with one stone.

So anyways, David finds the body, he's shocked and confused. He needs some time to take in what happened. Actually, what happened to the body? He surely doesn't know aside that she's been murdered, of course. Was it a dream? No, it's very real, Arei's dead.

So what did he do afterwards? Well, he probably started doing his own investigation, to try to process how this happened.

Truth bullet used : Rope attached to Arei's neck

Truth bullet used : Arei's broken neck

Truth bullet used : Red marks on Arei's wrists

Truth bullet used : Arei's missing glove

Truth bullet used : Ball of clothes

As far as he's aware, Arei's neck is broken, which must have something to do with the rope, but it doesn't seem like the relaxation room would be the right place to pull that off. Otherwise, it wouldn't be hidden here. Maybe he notices the red marks as well, but doesn't quite know what to make of it. Same thing for the missing glove. It's really hard to say if he actually paid attention to it.

And there's the blanket of Hu and Teruko's old clothes that are used to hide and cover the body. Aside from hiding the body, is there even any other uses for it? He doesn't know the answer to it. Eitheir way, he at least knows that this murder couldn't have happened here, so it was time to look at the other rooms.

He didn't have to look too hard to find out where the crime actually took place. He simply needed to go to the nearest room : the playground.

Truth bullet used : Scuffed ground

Truth bullet used : Carousel wrapped with tape

Truth bullet used : Long rope under carousel

The scuffed ground is the first thing David would probably notice. He's probably wondering if there was a struggle happening here. If so, then whoever killed her must be someone pretty strong. Or maybe it's a trick? After all, he remembers that in the first trial, they've been easily fooled into thinking that Teruko was the murderer. So he can't jump to conclusions just yet.

Next up, he finds something strange with the spinny thing. There's some under there and the handlebars are wrapped up with some kind of tape. What does that even mean? He has frankly no idea.

Also, one thing that I need to point out regarding what David might've done investigation wise... Aside from it being a big assumption, it's possible that he didn't do much of that. At the very least, he was probably trying to figure out where the crime actually took place.

Whether he actually put some kind of efforts into investigating or not, there was still another problem that he needed to deal with quickly...

Act 26

Truth bullet used : Relax room's nighttime features

The relax room is about to close soon. This is bad for David because if he doesn't move the dead body, it will remain locked inside that room for the whole night and early morning. Then someone would definitly discover her corpse next morning, which would get him in big trouble since it would lead to having his secret exposed.

There was no time to waste. He needed to get that corpse out of here and that's what he exactly did. David dragged the corpse back to the playground. Now, he needed to figure out what he could do to indirectly help the group with the investigation.

He must've imagined that her cause of death must be from something like hanging. So he decided to hang her at the swingset. He couldn't quite exactly figure out how it was done, but that's all he could think of. As long as they don't think that it was hidden in the relaxation room to begin with, then he wouldn't be suspected.

But then he realised another problem : How will the others know when she died? If things are left out as is, they might think she was eitheir murdered at night or very early in the morning? There's a lot of possible time of deaths which would stray the group further away from the truth. In David's mind, he's pretty sure she must've been killed sometime in the evening, before he entered that room.

Why would he believe that this was the only possible time of death?

Truth bullet used : Eden's disguise trick

Even though we know, according to my theory, that Eden used a disguise trick to hide Arei's real time of death, the others don't know about it. David saw Arei alive at lunchtime, which means that she was definitly killed sometime after according to his logic. He probably figured it wasn't in the afternoon since it would be much easier for the killer to run into potential witnesses, so the evening was the only option.

Wouldn't David deduce that Nico might be the prime suspect? They were feeding the fishes sometime before David entered that room. Nico saw David use the elevator.

He might've been seen by Nico, but it doesn't mean the opposite applies. It's very likely possible that when David used the elevator, he never saw anyone passing through because Nico had already gone out a while ago. Nico probably noticed David when they were roaming around the first floor.

In any case, he needed to figure what he could do to make the others follow the "right path" into deducing that the crime happened sometime around the evening. David couldn't directly tell them, as ridiculous as it may sound. Remember, he doesn't want his secret to be found out. If he told the group about the actual time of death, they would start questioning him.

They'd be like : "How do you know that she died at that time?" That'd just make him become suspicious no matter what he tries to come up with. Because of that suspicious, they would then press on David which would lead to uncovering his secret.

So what could he possibly do to help them without directly telling them about the "right" time of death? That's when he came up with this crazy idea!

Truth bullet used : Dead fishes

Truth bullet used : Relax room's nighttime features

Truth bullet used : Ball of clothes

He remembered about the fishes in the pond and the nighttime features of the relaxation room. What if he brought those fishes to the playground? It would seem very weird and confusing that there's dead fishes found in the playground, but because of the fact that the relax room closes at 10:00 PM and reopens at 8:00 AM, they would conclude that the fishes were brought to the playground before the relaxation room closes.

Even though the fishes has most likely nothing to do with the whole crime in itself, the others would probably not think too hard about it since it's a seemingly very convoluted crime scene to begin with. He figured that a little "red herring" wouldn't hurt as long as it helps them in knowing the time of death.

That way, he wouldn't need to open up about what he found out, the dead fishes would tell the story for him. Of course, he couldn't simply grab them with his hands. Maybe one by one, but that would be incredibly inefficient.

That's why he used the blanket of old clothes instead. He used that to scoop as many fishes as possible and then brought them to the playground. It's confirmed, everyone! David is a mass murderer! He killed all those fishes that we saw in the playground! (Oh nooo!)

Anyways, once that was taken care of, there was one more thing that he needed to do : get rid of these darn clothes. He doesn't want to leave them in the relaxation room, that would obviously indicate that something or someone must've been hidden there. He can't bring it back to the first floor eitheir, that would be incredibly risky since he could run into someone.

So the next best thing he can do is hide them and also hide what they were supposed to be to begin with. David rolled up that blanket of clothes into a perfectly shaped ball and hid it in the changing room inside the dress-up room. This would explain why Charles found a ball of clothes in the dress-up room.

Now that all of that was done, he headed back to the first floor and called it a day. Nothing else significant happened that night.

Act 27

It is now DAY 4, 8:00 in the morning. Everyone gathers up to the movie screening room. Everyone except... well... you obviously know who by now. It's been 4 days already, so it was time for MonoTV to reveal the secrets, but before that happens... David goes : "Wait! Stop!"

So everyone starts counting and they notice that there's indeed someone missing. So David leads them by saying : "Arei isn't here."

So people start to panic and proceed to look for Arei. Teruko picks up Whit and Eden to make a group of 3 people to find her if she's indeed dead. That way, it would definitly trigger the BDA if all three of them are innocent. Otherwise, one of these three would be suspicious.

Of course, Eden expected that to happen, but she was prepared with her whole murder scheme. Someone should've found the dead body first already last night so it shouldn't be an issue.

So Teruko's group investigates the second floor. Teruko looks inside the gym, she's not here. Whit looks inside the dress-up room, she's not here eitheir. Eden looks inside the relaxation room...

Two things of note here...

Eden did not find the dead body in here even though that was the last place she left it. So she knows for sure someone found the body first and moved it somewhere else.

She could've easily lied about claiming that there's no place where she could be hiding. That would make a lot of sense for her to lie if she was indeed the culprit and hid the body there previously.

So everything's going really well for Eden. It's all going according to plan. The last room remaining to explore was the playground. At this point, the culprit knew that it must be hidden there. There's no way someone would drag a dead body back to the first floor.

But then, before they enter, Whit makes this silly comment : "Do you really think that she'd be hanging out in the playground right now?"

It seems absolutely goofy at first since whether the viewers were making the prediction or they already saw how she died, they would find Whit's comment to be pretty unintentionally punny (or perhaps intentionally even).

For Eden however, that was literally the worst case scenario. She took Whit's comment seriously. Or maybe she didn't at first, but then quickly started to doubt that he was joking. At some point, she must've thought : "What if it was Whit that discovered the body first?"

So as Teruko's about to open the door, in a moment of panic, Eden shouts : "Teruko, wait--" And that's when they discover the corpse of Arei hanging by the swing set, which then triggers the BDA later on.

Unfortunatly for Eden, she made a little slip-up there which could be really troublesome if Teruko catches on to this. Fortunately for Eden however, the BDA still happened, so she's still looking innocent there. On top of that, it doesn't seem like eitheir Teruko or Whit noticed her slip-up (...yet).

And that's how this whole murder mystery happened. From DAY 1 to DAY 4. And you know what? I'm not even done yet. I still have a few remaining events to explain after the body discovery announcement. Let's get into it! We're almost there!

Act 28

Everyone gathers at the playground, they find the body and they're all shocked and stuff. It's investigation time! Obviously, I won't talk about the investigation much details since I've already explained all of the evidence that was found there. Instead, I'm gonna talk about a few noteworthy things that happened during the investigation.

Eden's reaction to finding Arei's dead body is kinda suspicious. Naturally, she would act all sad and in grief upon losing dear Arei. The suspicious thing is what happens afterwards.

Not even a minute after finding the body, she quickly recovers and claims that she's ready to investigate. I know this is a class trial and that they need to take it seriously, but wouldn't it be more natural for Eden to need more time to recover from this? Especially when she was supposed to be friends with Arei according to her narrative.

The next thing is the secrets reveal. J was about to ask MonoTV about the secrets reveal since it would probably help in solving the murder. But then David interjects by claiming that MonoTV would only reveal the motive if a murder didn't happen in the allocated time. But since a murder happened, he's not obligated to reveal them.

Then he goes on about if MonoTV were to reveal the secrets based on the deadline (8:00 in the morning on DAY 4), it would mean that she died very recently, which would narrow down the time of death.

Of course, David knew that she didn't die then. He was just practically forcing MonoTV to not reveal the secrets since he knows that Arei died in the evening of DAY 3, according to his deductions. Basically playing with the rules of the motive reveal deadline. He didn't want his secret exposed, after all.

Sadly for him, MonoTV claims that it's based on the time of the body discovery and not the time of death. So if it was found shortly after the deadline, then it's already past the deadline.

This messes up with his plan to keep his secret from being exposed. So he has no choice but to see that list to find out what this is really all about. At the very least, David knows that it won't directly show whose secret it is since MonoTV himself doesn't know who it belonged to (because of the mixed up secrets).

So later on, David goes to the movie screening room to see the list and he sadly sees that his dark secret is actually there. So he's gonna have to do everything he can to make sure it doesn't get exposed. Of course, all of the actions David's done ever since the beginning of Chapter 2 made Teruko grow very suspicious of him. At least a lot more than the Prologue and Chapter 1.

Enough talk about the investigation. Let's talk about the trial!

Act 29

Kinda like the investigation phase, I'm not gonna go too much into details. I'll only reveal parts of the trial that would line up and make sense if it went according to my theory. So there are three characters who play a big role in this trial.

Eden wants to make sure that no suspicions would be thrown at her. She wants to be the most innocent out of everyone in that trial.

Ace wants to keep up the tough guy act, doesn't want to be seen as someone useless in trial and he doesn't want others to find out what really happened during the attempted murder.

David is hoping that the group will figure out the truth of the trial with a narrowed down time of death (dead fishes) while also being able to keep his secret from being exposed.

Let's start with episode 9! Eden doesn't reveal Arturo's secret. She's going to later, but she needs to build up an innocent girl narrative first.

We get a confirm from Nico that they intentionally try to make a serious attempt on Ace's life when Charles asks the question. The important thing to note here is that this could mean a lot of things. Their mind was most likely set on wanting to kill him, but it doesn't mean that they did all the setup required to make that attempt.

But Rose claimed that they lied and stole from her. Nico's response was : "I--! I didn't kill Arei! I swear!". He didn't deny Rose's claim. That's practically a confession!

Not necessarily! Despite the implication, it could also very well be them wanting to deny that claim, but stopped themselves to simply swear that they didn't kill Arei. There could be various reasons for it, but one that could be the most reasonable is if they were having doubts about it. What if they weren't sure if they actually stole from her or not? His mind could've definitly been chaotic ever since they snapped. So they probably were unable to remember it.

But they were able to remember feeding the fishes and seeing David use the elevator during the evening!

Sure, but that was on DAY 3, not DAY 2. Like I said before, there's still a lot that we don't know about Nico during the events the evening/night of DAY 2. And because it's such an unknown variable, it also leads to a massive amount of possibilities.

Besides, remember what I said in Act 12? It could've been a massive red herring by making us easily believe that Nico's the one responsible for everything involved in the attempted murder on Ace. That trial interaction could also be another trick made by the creator to make us further believe that they're indeed respondible for it all.

Anyways, sometime later, Rose believed that Arei's death was an assisted suicide where the victim played a big role into this. Eden goes out of her way to convince everyone that can't be true. There's no way that someone like Arei would commit suicide.

Why would she do that if she was the true culprit? Wouldn't it make sense to let them believe it was suicide to end the trial early?

There's no guarantee that the smarter people out there (especially Teruko) would let it end that soon. She would've figured out by herself that there's no way it could've been a suicide. So Eden went out of her way to deny the suicide claim simply to direct the group into the proper narrative in regards to Arei. It was a necessary step since she wanted to reveal the incident that happened in the infirmary. That would further confirm that this wasn't suicide.

Next up, Teruko manages to narrow down the time of death by bringing up the dead fish. Based on their knowledge that they last saw the victim at 12:00 PM on DAY 3 and the features of the relaxation room. They were able to narrow it down to sometime between 12:00 PM to 10:00 PM.

Not a satisfying time window for what David had in mind when he placed those fishes, but that will do for now. At least, his plan kind of worked. They won't think that it happened during nighttime. Maybe they'll find out a more accurate time later on.

Act 30

On episode 10, before Eden gives the note, she quickly claims that she didn't do it, whoever did it is trying to impersonate her. So we get the reveal of the torn up note which gives us the letter we all know by now.

She would seem a tiny bit suspicious at first, but that was all part of her plan. Most wouldn't think that she'd be the killer if she wanted to help put the note back together. But in fact, she needed to help for both the narrative and making sure that the ripped apart note would be properly put back together.

She needed to play the scene of the revealed note to make sure that it would eventually lead to the reveal of Arturo's secret. When she would feel like that it'd be best for her to tell the truth, she would also explain the incident in the infirmary.

That would explain why she's friends with Arei. That would explain why she was insistent on believing that she wouldn't kill herself. That whole play would make Eden look the least suspicious so far. Everything's going according to her plan.

Fortunately for David, that note helped narrow down the time of death more accurately. Unfortunatly for him however, this is a fake time of death trick pulled by Eden, the real culprit. Until something major happens, no one's going to believe that Arei actually died in the morning of DAY 3, slightly past 8:00 AM.

Moving on... everyone's discussing their alibis now that the suggested time of death is sometime between 7:30 PM and 10:00 PM.

Hu talks about her time spent with Eden in the kitchen during that whole evening. Which further proves her innocence thanks to Eden's carefully crafted alibi plan. A few have alibis, a few don't have one like Nico.

So Ace lashes out at them as usual, nothing new here. Hu gets defensive and asks for his alibi.

Truth bullet used : Ace's actions in the gym

Truth bullet used : Ace acting tough

He thought about it for a little bit, but then he came up with a great idea. He lied about going to the gym that evening. That'd make him look kinda badass going there the day after being nearly killed.

Also, he doesn't want the others to know the truth about what he actually did during the night of DAY 2 as he wants to hide that kind of strength from the others since he doesn't trust them.

That doesn't make sense. Ace is actively trying to act tough according to your theory!

I know, it seems kinda contradictory, but here's the thing. Ace's kind of an idiot. He's trying not to, but you just can't really improve that in an instant as if you drank an intelligence potion or something.

Truth bullet used : Ace's testimony

There's another reason however. He really wants to tell the others about David's secret. About what he saw and heard in the relaxation room. But so far, he only knows that David's been to the second floor that night. He couldn't have known about DAY 3 since according to my theory, he stayed in his dorm.

So if he decided to reveal it at the earliest time of the trial, he would have no choice but to admit that this happened during the night of DAY 2 which would then lead to others asking "wait, isn't that the night where you almost died?"

This would lead to more questions and getting closer to the truth and they'd find about what Ace was hiding from them since then. Ace doesn't want that to happen. So he holds that information for the time being.

But then a golden opportunity arrived! Teruko calls out David that he should've been in the relaxation room during the evening of DAY 3.

At first, David was starting to play dumb, hoping that no one actually saw him so that he could lie about it and pretend that he went somewhere else. That didn't happen however, Nico saw him use the elevator, so David can't lie his way out of this sadly. Luckily for Ace, that was the perfect opportunity to expose David. He was in the same location both nights? Sweet!

So then Teruko asks the two if they saw anything strange going on in the playground. Ace claims he saw nothing. This is technicly the truth, even though he lied about being in the gym during the evening of DAY 3.

David claims that he didn't find anything odd and never looked at the playground. That's obviously a lie. He doesn't want others to suspect him. Otherwise, that would make them start being curious about his secret.

Then he adds that he never saw Ace once, which he finds strange. You could believe that he's just lying to put the suspicion on Ace, but there's a better idea that would make a lot more sense. David is telling the truth about never seeing Ace because Ace never went to the second floor during the evening of DAY 3 to begin with.

Unfortunatly for him, that was the perfect time for Ace to expose David's secret and making his claim of being in the gym on DAY 3 more believable.

Act 31

Almost done! Time to tackle episode 11!

So Ace starts explaining what he saw and heard in the relax room. We get a flashback scene regarding that event and then-

We literally get a flashback scene! There's a few details that would indicate that Ace is telling the whole truth, including the fact that he heard this on DAY 3, not DAY 2!!!

No, that's wrong! You should never take everything from granted once the author starts giving us more than 1 character point of view. Some could easily lie about the events to fit their narrative and fantasy.

I haven't read or played a lot of mystery novels, but there's a certain tactic that's sometimes used by the author, if not often. It's called unreliable narrator. From a google search, it says : "An unreliable narrator can be defined as any narrator who misleads readers, either deliberately or unwittingly."

Ace could've easily been an unreliable narrator. Here are a couple things that he could've lied about.

There's a missing fan on the right side. Could've been an illusion to make us believe it happened on DAY 3.

We see Ace with neck bandages. Could've been an illusion to make us believe it happened on DAY 3.

When Ace was eavesdropping, Arei says : "Nico got super pissy and tried to turn Ace into cat food." Could've been a line of dialogue that Ace made up to make others believe that it happened on DAY 3.

Then Ace claims he didn't catch anything else. Which, once again, would make sense if he's been knocked unconscious right after that. But he doesn't want to admit that since it would reveal the truth on when the meeting actually happened.

As a few others claimed, it's very strange that Ace brings up that important testimony this late into the trial. So it would make sense if he didn't want to expose him just yet because he didn't want the others to know the actual truth in the gym.

In any case, David's plan is ruined. He eventually gives up and confesses that the manipulative liar secret is actually his secret. (pretty amazing reveal, by the way!) His career's officially over.

We get a few interesting lines from David that would match up insanely well with my theory.

"Normally, I would continue to insist that Ace is an unreliable witness, and a worthless lying piece of shit as well... But I know how it is with you people. Once you've reached a conclusion, you'll refuse to believe any evidence that contradicts it. So I'm not going to bother."

Unreliable witness and a liar... interesting. Doesn't that match perfectly with my claim that Ace is lying about being at the gym during the evening of DAY 3 as well as my claim that he is an unreliable narrator?

"But I will admit, I did indeed meet with Arei last night in the relaxation room." He's telling the truth. He met with her alright on DAY 3. Doesn't mean she was alive though.

"As for what I actually talked about... Well, I've already forgotten! She's dead now, so who cares?" He's lying... or to be more accurate, he's hiding the truth. He doesn't want the others to know that he found her dead body.

Why not? Why wouldn't he tell the whole truth?

For a few reasons. First off, everyone just learned he's a liar. So they might simply think that he's lying about it. Secondly, that would make him incredibly suspicious. He wants to avoid being seen as the main suspect if he can avoid it. Not that it matters anyways since most of them think he's the culprit shortly afterwards.

Also, another reason to explain it is because he's probably still angry about the fact that they exposed his secret. He's been letting all out ever since the reveal anyways. So he probably wants to act like a butthole as a mean to vent off.

But still, he tries to convince them that he's not the culprit (in his own way), but quickly realises that this is pointless since most of them are so stupid and quick to draw to conclusions, just like last trial.

So then he got an idea. He gives up and confesses that he's the murderer. He's gonna lie all the way through up until someone calls him out on it. The interesting thing to note here is that as soon as he made that confession, he looked incredibly nervous. It's almost like... he's afraid of something. Something like being afraid of losing the trial if no one realises that he's lying?

By the way, another interesting thing to add here : As soon as David confessed, Eden starting being "emotional" and "seriously believes" that he actually did it. The real culprit figured that she may as well push the direction of that accusation to end the trial and be the sole winner.

Here's another interesting thing about Eden. I think she made another slip-up and created a contradiction. No one seemed to have noticed though, thankfully. She made those comments about David that she couldn't believe that he would mentally push Arei into commiting suicide.

That's strange... because I'm pretty sure that at the beginning of the trial, she was very insistent on claiming that Arei would never commit suicide.

Anyways... Teruko asks David about how he killed Arei into more details, but will later realise that his story doesn't make sense and that he's just lying. Then Teruko and David argues about it back and forth up until Charles stops the argument.

He realised something major and says : "Teruko, we really fucked up." Most of us fans seem to believe that this refers to the time of death being wrong (7:30 PM ish on DAY 3). My theory that the actual time of death was slightly after 8:00 AM on DAY 3 would match that up perfectly.

Time For The Finale

Phew! That was quite the long closing argument! With everything I've written here, hopefully that should explain the whole truth behind that murder mystery and explain most of the clues out there. So... what do you guys think about this theory?

.......NO!! It just doesn't work! It's incredibly CONVOLUTED! Way too convoluted for such a murder mystery! It's also very RISKY! Eden is doing a lot of risks to make her murder scheme work. A single mistake could've ruined it all. There's no way that plan works! It's impossible. Also, there's still a lot of things that wouldn't work. Like the disguise trick, there's just no way! She doesn't look anything like Arei! She doesn't have her physique. You've overthinking this! There are certain things about your theory that wouldn't be able to explain how things actually work in real life, like the blood wipe. It's just not realistic! Your theory doesn't work!

...It's pointless... all of this is just pointless...

...huh?!

You heard me. This is all pointless. All these counterarguments, even those that I refused to elaborate and would talk about it here instead... they're all actually meaningless in DanganRonpa Despair Time.

When it gets to finding errors in a theory by relying on reality or very niche or minute details. Or things like risk factor or things like no one would be able to pull off x trick, unless it's an actual contradiction of the actual facts of the fangan, then all of these arguments are actually pointless!

How dare you?! You can't just simply ignore these arguments because they hurt your theory!

As a matter of fact, I actually can ignore those. After all... most of these arguments fail to follow a certain rule in this murder mystery.

What are you even talking about?!

Alright... let me tell you! THIS IS FICTION, NOT REALITY!!!

!!!

Let me explain. For quite some time, we've been trying to prove/disprove certain theories by claiming that a certain event would be impossible because that's not how it works in real life.

One of the examples in regards to debunking my theory would be that the disguise trick would be impossible because it would've been incredibly risky and the plan could've easily failed if someone decided to speak with her or looked at her closely. Another example would be when Eden knocked out Ace without being noticed by Arei or David, seems incredibly unlikely and really risky.

From a reality perspective, it would be indeed ridiculous of a plan and nearly impossible to pull it off. But that's exactly the problem! Danganronpa Despair Time is a work of fiction, not reality! Anything that seems completly ridiculous or painfully impossible can become a miracle in the world of fiction!

You don't even have any proof that the DRDT creator is using that rule!

I do, actually. Think back on Chapter 1. I don't know if this chapter had weekly releases like Chapter 2 but regardless, let's give ourselves a scenario in regards to what would happen if the latest trial episodes of chapter 1 were not revealed, then the creator takes a break, so the fans have time to investigate and come up with theories to solve the murder mystery. I personally believe that this is made so that you could solve the murder mystery without watching the climax of the trial.

Anyways, let's say there's someone out there who comes up with a theory that's practically the solution of chapter 1. Then, we get to the actual murder method which is from the light switch that's been stripped. So Xander got electrocuted by trying to turn on the lights when he was soaking wet.

Most people who would see this without knowing what the actual solution is would simply believe that this is just impossible. This seems extremely likely. Like even if it was really dark and Xander wanted to turn the lights back on, he should've heard the sound of something being removed. Otherwise, he should've still been able to see light since the door would've been opened anyways.

Or what if the theorist came up with the idea that the culprit lure Xander into the light switch by taunting him or something? What exactly would be the odds that Xander would charge straight towards the light switch?

Yet, Xander truly died from the light switch because he wanted to turn on the lights. Seems really crazy and unbelievable, but when we think about it, the creator made it possible because this is fiction.

So there you have it! I'm sure none of you see it that way (and it's fine!), but to me, this is the perfect solution to the murder case of Chapter 2. I'm running out of lines to write, so there are two things I wanna say before I go.

Feel free to try to debunk my theory or come up with alternatives to this theory or anything else that's related to it. I don't mind. I'm most likely not gonna reply to it however since I have other projects unrelated to tumblr to work on.

I'd like to thank @1moreff-creator, @venus-is-thinking, @accirax and most likely a couple others for trying to find faults in my theories or points that I've made. Even though it may not seem like it, there were some points that helped me get closer to an answer that I would be satisfied with. Also huge thanks for anyone else who's been supporting my theory.

While I'm at it, feel free to disregard some points I've made to debunk certain theories that rely on stuff like reality. As long as you believe that it could work within the world of fiction, then that's good enough! Sorry for the long post! Thank you for everything! Take care!

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

5, 17, 25, 29

For the ask game, please!

woooo! more asks! Thank you thank you! :D <3

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

Oooh probably a few of the ones listed in the previous ask about fic ideas that I have noodling around in my head.

Off the top, I'll probably not write "Grima Becomes King" even though it would be fun. Mostly because I know it would be the world's longest fic and the idea of writing it makes me feel tired.

17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?

Oh man, many things. What comes to mind is how much I've learned about late antiquity/early medieval Scandinavia for all things Rohan & Grima related.

I think an interesting tid-bit was the gender disparity of infanticide. Not shocking, given how patriarchal Scandinavian society was at the time, but far, far more girls were killed than boys. Also skeletal remains show that in times of famine, boys were given more (and better) food than the girls.

(don't tell tumblr, they're very keen on thinking Viking (tm) society was a world of gender equality and other nonsense)

25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing?

I have! In different ways. For Grima stuff - the scenes where he's forced to eat his horse in My Land is Bare were just - I icked myself writing them. Degradation in general icks me and I always get in a weird headspace after writing it.

I have absolutely made myself cry writing bits of Thus Always. Particularly the death of Downey's father (that chapter has a banger of an ending line: So, in silence they look at one another, truly look at one another, for the first time in thirty years, and in silence Amos dies.) The eulogy appendix also gets me. Annnd this bit with Downey's mother:

Annette catches Downey at the door, squeezes his arm, says, ‘I never understood why you did what you did.’ ‘Why I left? Surely he told you the gory details.’ ‘No, no, I never understood why you chose to…to be like that. Did I do something wrong?’ Downey takes in her weeping eyes, her pain, her sorrow, the mad grief over things she has no words for, and he just shakes his head. Just shakes it and shakes it and shakes it.

the infamous "did I do something wrong and that is why you're a queer" conversation that many people have unfortunately had

29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)

Something from a follow-up fic to Swimming Through Fire world. Two years after the war, a year after Grima and Éomer came to some vague Arrangement, and Éomer's off to go get married. Lucky him.

They're on their way to Umbar as I have Eomer marrying outside Gondor for reasons of regional political cohesion. Safan, everyone's favourite main man from the ROTK installment of the Swimming Through Fire series, makes an appearance.

---

Of course, Safan could have other sources, Gríma reasons. About Éomer. About what he is like as a man. Safan is talented, clearly capable, and trusted—therefore, he is likely to have heard his fill about the future king of Éomarc.

Who is currently standing towards the front of the boat watching the horizon dip up, down, and again again again.

No storm, but the sea roils. Gríma was told it’s the wind, a beautiful day for the voyage, but choppy. Hold fast. Do you know how to swim?

He told the sailor: I can hold my breath for two minutes.

The sailor laughed: that’s a start, I suppose.

No, no, I can swim. I’d just rather not.

Then hold fast.

So, he’s holding fast. He’s watching the water. The surf kicked up, foam white as the froth of churning milk. He thinks he wants to be sick.

What did he have to break his fast? Sweet buns, fruit, cheese. They dine light in the morning in Khephanto, same as they do in Éomarc. A welcomed change from other parts of Gondor where it is blood sausages and eggs and liver and salted fish and fried mushrooms piled high with toast and hot milk and gods the memory makes him more nauseous than he thought possible.

He tries to lean over the railing, thinking it would make sense to be sick into the ocean, but the thought of being so suspended over water—only his head, his shoulders and chest, but still—it sends him skittering away.

Foolish, of course, he survived the river Isen when he fell in. He survived Limlight more than once as a boy. He’d be fine until they fish him out.

Provided they fished him out.

Gríma finds Éomer again—still at the helm. Golden haired in the golden sun looking at ease despite the tumult.

They’d fish him out, Gríma thinks bleakly. Surely. Éomer would make them. Surely.

He wouldn’t be left to drown. Horrorhorrorhorror—how the chest burns and everything’s upside down and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and————

A bucket.

Gríma looks up, realizes his hands are on his knees and he’s shaking. Safan stands before him, holding the bucket.

‘Didn’t realize you’d be so sour stomached,’ Safan says.

Gríma wrenches the bucket from his hand, turns around, and is promptly sick into it. Somewhere, someone laughs. He’s certain it’s at him. He would care if he didn’t feel like his stomach wanted to crawl up his throat.

‘Just lean over the side,’ Safan suggests, all fatherly.

‘Can’t.’

‘Alright.’

‘This is horrible.’

‘You’ll get used to it.’

‘Inhuman.’

Safan laughs.

‘Truly,’ Gríma insists. He hugs the bucket of his bile. ‘Horrible. I’m going home by land. I don’t care if it takes me three months.’

Safan pats him on the shoulder, tells him that he’ll get used to it. It’s only another two and a half days—two if the wind holds. Gríma pulls an ugly face: two days! He doesn’t have enough in him to throw up for two days of travel. Safan shakes his head, pats his shoulder again, insists that Gríma will be fine.

‘Horizon,’ Safan points, ‘keep your eye on that and your stomach should settle.’

‘It’ll settle when I’m dead.’

‘I love your optimism, I’m sure your future king does too.’

Gríma makes no response, save to turn away from Safan and sick into the bucket a second time.

/

Early afternoon, still the first day, they’ve yet to have the blessing of crossing the small hours into daybreak, they’re not even at dusk, yet, and Éomer finds Gríma who has found a rope pile to sit on, with his bucket, trying to stare at the horizon.

‘I don’t know how you’re not ill, my lord,’ Gríma whines.

Éomer makes no reply. His eyes are also trained on where sky meets sea—a beautiful greying line if Gríma was in the mind to admire.

‘Perhaps you are sick as well,’ Gríma suggests.

Éomer shakes his head.

‘Assuredly,’ Gríma insists.

Éomer smiles, taught it stops half-up his face.

‘Knew it,’ Gríma mutters.

Éomer strides to the railing, leans over, and vomits. Gríma laughs. His future king makes no response. Gríma needles: ‘Would you like a bucket? The bucket is wisdom itself.’

‘I’m fine,’ Éomer replies, as if nothing occurred. ‘I don’t see why you’re making such a fuss.’ Slipping into the northern dialect of the Wold Éomer continues, ‘You’re not being very sympathetic for someone also suffering.’

‘My lord, you should know better than to come and roost upon my stoop in search of sympathy. It died in the womb. I might have eaten it.’

‘Along with your heart?’

‘To be sure. That shriveled, little thing.’

But his future lord-king is smiling, if not outright laughing, and Gríma doesn’t know how to stand in this moment. It’s been two years since the war—almost exactly. They’re just entering April, a fine month to travel in. It’s been fifteen months and a week since that first post-war winter yule when things between them became…sticky. Gríma isn’t sure how to term it, he isn’t sure there is a word for it. He is sure Éomer wouldn’t know and so has never made an effort to ask.

And what is there to ask about? Aside from Gríma’s commitment to burning down the entirety of the world should Éomer ask it of him. A bit of a rub, a bit rum, that the lord should instead ask him to create rather than destroy. Which is just like Éomer, to be contrary to Gríma’s desires whilst being, at the same time, precisely what is desired.

He thinks he might be sick into the bucket again.

‘Éothain told me about the creatures you’re concerned we’ll become victim to,’ Éomer says.

‘His investigations did little to assuage me. That said, their appearance could put me out of my misery, which is a boon.’

‘I think you’re over-reacting.’

Gríma turns away from Éomer, thinks he’s going to be sick, but it passes. He turns back around. On Éomer’s face is writ feint amusement. Gríma he thinks he should be sick on Éomer’s boots to make a point.

Some shuffling of feet as Éomer leans against the side of the boat to again stare at distant horizon as instructed by Safan. Gríma supposes he could try it, but doesn’t think standing wise at this precise moment.

‘Have you heard anything further?’ Éomer asks with a fantastical attempt at disinterest.

Gríma feigns confusion: ‘Further, my lord?’

‘About this—about Lady Dihya,’ he slides through her name in a chaotic fashion, it’s half Éothéod and half an approach to Umbar pronunciations. Good gods, Gríma cannot wait for them to meet if only to hear them butcher each other’s names in such a full-frontal fashion. ‘You were seen speaking with Safan.’

‘Safan and I are acquaintances of old.’

‘Shouting at each other over a wall proceeding a siege hardly makes one an acquaintance of old.’

‘Hardly a siege,’ Gríma scoffs. ‘Lord Aragorn lightly threatened them with ghosts and they saw reason and left.’

‘And the draugr.’

Gríma tilts his head skyward. Éomer follows suit asking if that brother of Gríma’s is around. Which brother would Éomer son of Éomund be asking after? Gods Gríma, the only brother who could possibly be present—the bog-drowned inhuman one that’s a crow half the time. It tried to peck the eyes out of a Meduseld mouser the other day. Hasn’t Gríma taught it manners, yet?

‘Baldir was never keen on following orders,’ Gríma replies tartly. ‘It is hardly my fault he is enacting the behaviours of his kind, now that he is what he is. He’s not eating people or horses. Nor goats, cows, hounds, most cats, and other such important creatures. I cannot vouch for poultry or hares. And no, he’s not around. I told him to fuck off back home before we left.’

Éomer mouths: fuck off back home with some mild astonishment. Gríma gives a desultory look: what?

Éomer tries another question, ‘Did Safan tell you anything useful? Are there things I should avoid saying or doing?’

‘I am not here,’ Gríma holds up a hand, turns away and vomits into the bucket. It’s all bile, at this point. He tried drinking water with ginger in it, recommended by Éothain, but it came to naught. He wipes his mouth, pushes hair out of his face, turns back around to Éomer. ‘I am not here in an advisory capacity. As I told Safan, I don’t know why I’m here. I hardly expected it.’

‘My uncle,’ Éomer glances at the men around them—all Haradrim or Gondorian, the Éothéod are generally seasick and showing it. He continues in the Wold dialect: ‘My uncle took you aside before we left. Éothain and Gundahar both saw it occur. You spoke for a good space of time, what did he say?’

‘Oh, that. He was telling me to mind myself and not get into trouble. That the first whiff of anything suspicious he’ll know whose door to knock at. As if I haven’t learned my lesson! truly I wish people understood that. I make mistakes, the lords know, but I tend not to make the same ones twice.’

Éomer, to his credit, does not believe Gríma—at least about the not knowing what his role is. Gríma hopes he believes him about lessons learned. He had assumed Éomer did—few others, but at least Éomer. Hama would believe him, if he were alive. This thought does a strangeness to Gríma’s chest, an emotion he is learning to name regret. He rarely feels it, if ever, but with Hama yes, it rears its ugly head.  

Gríma sometimes wonders what the percentage is that Éomer believes. Is it fifty per cent of what Gríma says? Eighty? Twenty? Or entirely situational? Probably entirely situational. Probably Gríma doesn’t want to know.

‘Surely you’ve been briefed,’ Gríma says into a long stretched silence.

‘Of course I have.’

‘Then you have nothing to worry about.’

Éomer gives him such a statement with his expression and Gríma would laugh if it were appropriate. Instead of saying: horseshit and you know it, Éomer replies: ‘For the sake of relations between countries I want to make a good impression. My uncle said he trusted me to represent Éomarc.’

‘I should hope so, as future king yourself you’re the embodiment of our people and our land.’

Grating, grating, grating—Éomer paces this through. Gríma wants to say what he always thinks in these situations, that Éomer is the better option to Théodred. One represents Éomarc more wholly and entirely than the other. Théodred was nice. Théodred would have tried. He would have done what he thought was the best. Gríma knows better than to sneer those sentiments aloud to the cousin and inheritor who sometimes goes morose and burrows into himself when the former heir is mentioned. The man who Éomer idolized, to some degree, and who did not live long enough to shatter those illusions.

Well, well, that is Éomer, sitting in the sun comparing himself to dead heroes who cannot be faulted in anything because they are dead.

Another wave of nausea comes, Gríma waits to need the bucket, but it passes. How is it so warm? It’s April, it should be the perfect temperature at all times.

-

‘A rat with a bucket,’ cheerfully calls a voice.

Gríma puts on a flattering smile, ‘my lady, it gladdens my heart to know you are not similarly afflicted.’

‘Not a whit.’

‘Truly,’ Éomer asks. ‘I can’t believe that.’

‘Sorry, brother, but alas that is the case.’ Éowyn does not sound entirely sympathetic. She then glances between them and to her brother asks: ‘What conference have you with Wyrmtunga?’

‘Trying to get information out of him about what we can expect. He chatted with Lord Safan last night.’

‘My how we’ve resurrected ourselves,’ Éowyn sneers at Gríma who continues, with great effort, to appear cheerfully nonplussed but gods gods gods he wants to be sick again. He knows he must be green about the gills for how she laughs. ‘Uncle said you were to behave.’

‘I am, on my honour.’ Gríma adds, ‘on the life of Stigr.’

‘Not nothing,’ Éowyn owns. ‘How do you know lord Safan? He seems above your station and rank, now that you are nothing in particular.’

‘The war.’

‘They shouted pleasantries at each other over the walls of Pelargir,’ Éomer explains, ‘before Aragorn reminded everyone time was of the essence.’

‘Lord Aragorn was just as party to the pleasantries, my lord.’

Éowyn’s keen eyes, sharp as knives, slice from brother to Gríma and Gríma knows a dissection is occurring, there will be a result from it, but it will not be accurate. He knows where her assumptions will lead her, and he is right when she asks: ‘Did you know him through Saruman?’

‘No, my lady, I never met him save that day during the war. I had assumed he died, until he showed up as ambassador.’ He adds, half-afterthought and undertone, ‘not everything is a conspiracy.’

‘I hear she likes hunting,’ Éowyn tells her brother, ignoring Gríma’s reply. ‘Stalking and the like. Talk to her about that and you’ll be safe.’

‘What else did you hear?’

‘Books—histories about seafaring voyages and distant battles, also political machinations. But she is not adverse to the occasional bout of poetry. Recite her something pretty about nature, I heard. She’s partial to birds and fish, also long descriptions of sand dunes which are, apparently, beautiful.’

‘I see.’

‘I’m doubtful too,’ Éowyn agrees. ‘But having never seen one, we could be wrong. Her favourite colour is red and her favourite metal is copper.’

‘See,’ Éomer snaps at Gríma, ‘this is useful information I can do something with.’

Gríma levers himself upright, a dangerous decision for it sets his stomach on edge again, bidding a well-rehearsed and beautiful good-day to them he stalks across the ship towards the prow. He read a book about ships while in Minas Tirith and tried to memorize all their bits and pieces. This is a long, round nosed, shallow bottomed galley. Predominantly used for trade and moving passengers and animals. Gríma marks the three masts, the place for the oarsmen, though as they’re “with the wind” it's just sail work.

In the stern is the—he blanks on the term—but it’s a built-up structure where captain and important guests stay in relative comfort. Everyone else gets shoved below deck with the lice and livestock.

Castle! That’s what the structure is called. A castle.

Daft name.

Or maybe not, he doesn’t know anything about ocean-going vessels. They must be defended, especially merchant fleets, so perhaps castle is apt. Defending the keep, except it’s your boat.

Nearing the prow Gríma grips the railing and stares forward. Fresh sea air helps keep stomach in check. By the time the breeze gets to the back where he had hidden himself there was nothing much left to it. Knuckles whiten as his hands twist on the wood. Well waxed, there are no splinters, but he can feel its course nature against skin. A grounding experience. He sucks in a breath, holds, exhales.

Marvelous, he tells himself, it’s all marvelous. His still being alive and in one piece, mostly. Also this. Boats, oceans, skies, new lands, languages, the many and varied people present in the world. Oh, no, not distracting enough, he leans forward, is sick into the water as he gets hit with ocean spray.

Well, he thinks as he wipes salt water off, at least he knows his face is clean.

[mythandlaur]

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet? | 18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method?

New Year's Fanfic Asks

18. Do you typically post multi-chapters as you write, or finish it all and then start posting? Would you like to change your posting method?

On the rare occasions I've tried to write things longer than (sometimes particularly long) oneshots, I've posted as I've written...and I've never managed to actually finish a single fic. This has led to many actually abandoned or "I'll get to it someday maybe"-abandoned WIPs out there and the guilt's decidedly starting to pile up, so yes, I would like to change it. The things I've been writing recently I've been trying to finish before I start posting...but I'm also having trouble finishing those so I'm not sure it's helping, exactly, it's just added the additional "I want to share this so bad" feeling on top of it. I'll get back to you on that when I do manage to finish something and post it all. Which leads to...

5. Which WIP is first on your list to complete this year? Will you post a snippet?

(Given you chose these two questions to send together I imagine you might've been expecting this answer, that or I just really want an excuse to talk about it. Which part of the whole reason I reblogged this in the first place was to have an excuse to talk about my stuff so thanks.)

There are several Shovel Knight oneshots I worked on more recently that I probably should feel more strongly about finishing sooner, but the one most urgent in my mind is the one you know about that I've been sitting on for over a year and wrote 8k words for in one day.

Front Lines [Code Lyoko] - An attempt to make up for a social misstep leads to disaster as Aelita and Jeremie find themselves on Lyoko with an activated tower and no one on Earth who knows they've gone. As pressure mounts, they decide to take matters into their own hands, but they're quickly running out of time--and not in the way they think they are...

Basically I have the whole thing planned and mostly written, but it's been so long since I started writing it and the draft's so messy I worry I should rewrite everything to meet my current standards. That and there's still a couple of fight scenes that need to get done and I have a really hard time writing those. Here's a bit I can share without really spoiling anything.

Aelita steps fully into the room, closing the door behind her. Jeremie raises an eyebrow and rolls his chair slightly closer to her—something about Lyoko, then?

Aelita’s face pinches with worry. “I’ve been thinking about what you said at lunch.”

Jeremie’s smile drops. He glances off to the side as if his closet doors have suddenly become interesting. “Yeah, what about it?”

Aelita frowns, taking a step towards him with her hands on her hips. He knows the look well.

“Would you really rather be possessed by XANA again than go to Lyoko?”

Jeremie winces, pulling both of his legs up to sit in an awkward-looking butterfly position on his office chair and grabbing at his feet. He still doesn’t look at her, but he can feel her eyes burning into his head.

“...No,” he admits, “I’m not that stupid. I can’t afford to be compromised like that again.” And he doesn’t particularly feel like going through it again, either.

When he finally manages to meet her eyes, her lips are pursed in an expression he can’t quite read. “Then why did you lie?”

Jeremie scowls. “You heard Odd, he wouldn’t leave me alone. Imagine how bad it’d be if he knew I was going.”

“So you have been going!”

Jeremie realizes he may have made a mistake in saying that, but he’d long since figured out lying to her is an exercise in futility no matter how experienced he gets at it. “Yeah, I’ve been going. Not for very long—I have the computer set to run devirtualization after one minute. If I could get away with not sending my data to Lyoko at all, I would, but...I haven’t figured out what causes the resistance to XANA’s influence yet, so I can’t take any chances.”

“And you haven’t told anyone?”

“They’d insist on coming with me or training me or something, and the last time the three of us went, three megatanks showed up. If they got devirtualized with me, that’d be another opportunity for XANA to attack while they were recovering.”

“And you’re embarrassed.”

Jeremie grabs his desk and turns his chair back towards it so she can’t see his face. “You heard them, I look ridiculous. I don’t want to make myself look like even more of an idiot.”

Aelita huffs, grabbing the back of Jeremie’s chair and spinning him around to look at her. She keeps hold of the chair arms to keep him from turning away again, glaring into his eyes with her jaw set.

“When’s the next time you plan on going?”

Jeremie swallows hard, his stomach dropping. It doesn’t take a genius to see where she’s going with this. “...Sometime this week. Aelita—”

“You’re right about one thing, I’m not letting you go alone.” Aelita leans away and crosses her arms. “We’re going. Both of us. Today.”

“And that’s definitely because you’re worried about me and not just curious about how dumb I look?” Aelita winces, and Jeremie realizes he's talked before thinking again. He'd been trying to work on that. “...Sorry.”

“It’s not not because I’m curious, I admit.” Her tone grows pained. “But I’m also worried. What if your devirtualization program doesn’t work? Or XANA’s monsters get to you first? I just don’t like the idea of you doing something like this all by yourself.”

“Aelita...”

Her voice softens, and though she smirks at him, her eyes are earnest. “You’ve always been protective of me. Now it’s my turn to worry about you.”

Jeremie feels his face heating up. Of course, she has every right to worry—the thought of doing this frankly still scares him half to death. It would be nice to have someone looking out for him...and besides, if he doesn’t do it now, he might very well put it off as long as he can get away with it. Potentially longer than he can get away with it.

“...And you promise you won’t laugh at me.”

Aelita puts a hand over her heart, solemn. “I promise.”

Jeremie sighs, rubbing his elbow with the opposite hand. “Okay. Clearly I’m not getting out of this.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Just give me a few minutes to get ready.” And get up the nerve.

[dashawfrostart]

This *Past* Week In "Time & Again" #16: Preps For Something Big (And Unknown)

In regard to "Time & Again", the last week was... rather odd. One might possibly say it was somewhat uneventful, but that's not really true. In fact, it was SO EVENTFUL that I'm a little agitated right now. Or maybe "agitated" is not the right word. The writer/editor in me, sadly and to my shame, is failing to put it properly into words now to make it descriptive enough.

The most important thing is that little stuff here and there in Chapter 5 has been improved, altered (where needed) and fixed. So now it looks even better. For example, I recoloured a whole set of speech bubbles in Inkscape to make certain that the readers understand it easier to whom the certain lines belong to. As I worked on that particular improvement, I learnt a new trick yet again. I really like it how the newer interface in the latest versions of Inkscape works comparing to, say, that from the version 0.92 that I used when I only started to learn vector software. It makes everything much easier and allows to swap certain things in a matter of a few clicks (but also including a few minutes of swearing because I didn't realize that I was hitting the wrong buttons to begin with - that's how it sometimes goes for me 😅… but dis ok, everybody is learning, right?!). That goes for swapping gradients on the go, as well. I learnt that one can just import another SVG file that had extra gradients into another one to make extra pre-made gradients available in the list for an easy colour swap - and I needed that because I had to use the exact same colours for certain speech bubbles. I could've used a colour picker, of course, to take the colours from an already complete page... but I'd say swapping the gradient colours from a dropdown list is easier and hassle-free. I like that.

(those two pictures above are the examples of what I did, taken from one page: those are the straight exports of the speech bubbles from Inkscape. To the left, that's an old version, and to the right that's an updated new version as it is going to appear in the final release)

I also checked all the text again to make sure that I never missed anything that needed to be italicized (further reading on how I improved my font and created an italic version of it is in my previous post). Fonts are important in my story. Whenever something is highlighted in the text, be it through the formatting or via additional decorative effects - that MEANS certain something. The change of the font itself is also significant. Little details like that make me happy, and I love to see how meticulous the other artists can be when it comes to the little details like that. In my opinion, in art every little detail has a certain meaning, has an impact on the story and/or how it's perceived by the readers. So, in short, everything is important. It might be a hint of sorts, after all.

I even mused ahead, and not only I took extra notes on important monologues/dialogues for Chapter 6 that I'll start working on later this year (approximately in summer), but I also brainstormed the whole idea of "Time & Again" all over and came up with the certain concepts for the very distant story elements, even in regard to Chapter 8. I got ways to go, but it's never wrong to fantasize and refine what you've already had in your mind for the future 😉.

I am patiently waiting, enjoying my nice cup of Earl Grey tea in my apartment on this snowstormy day (yep, we are suddenly snow buried), as my editor gives the chapter a second read for further refinement. I'm very content about how it's going.

And I'm slowly setting up a page for Chapter 5 on my Itch.io - I'm gradually, resolutely getting there.

That's practically all I've done for the story itself within the last 7 days or so.

Majority of my incredible effort lately has been put into something else though.

And here's some important news: I've been trying to prepare for the two grand adventures that potentially await me in May. But - funny how it often happens this way in life, innit? - realistically speaking, only one of these adventures is going to take place in my life, for they are mutually exclusive. There is simply no way to combine them. It's either/or - no options in between. Therefore, knowing in advance that I put double the effort, only half of which will potentially pay off, it makes my life right now pretty fun, no doubt about it. But this is something that absolutely has to be done.

One of those endeavours is artistic - and another one has a great life importance to me. The artistic one though requires A LOT of preparation and a certain financial investment, too. Unfortunately, where it all stands right now, due to the time limitations, I am terribly restricted in my options. This is why I'm virtually trying to do a tribal dance with a tambourine in my right hand, twirling around the dining table, singing incomprehensible impromptu songs in all the languages I remotely speak in (hopefully not futile) attempts to draw a certain positive outcome closer to me. And trust me on that: this is not an easy task. I foresee myself looking like a sun-dried prune once the hassle is over.

You know, in videogames, I view RNG as some kind of a nuisance. It might be nice at times, but, being a fan of games where I have full control over everything I do, I cannot appreciate RNG very much. I like to be responsible about my own actions, and I want to know when I screw up or succeed, so that I could make adjustments to my actions accordingly. All this "RNG a.k.a. gambling, bro!" makes me cringe. In cases like that, I always feel like AI just hates me, LOL. Never have I been very lucky in small life events either... well, except for that one time, or maybe two at best. Well, if interpreting having blue jays at my balcony feeder as "a lucky event", then I'd say three. Yup.

Closer to May, aside from Chapter 5 release, hopefully! - I will make an announcement about if I rolled 20 for realsies and what The Real Life RNG is gonna present me - because the choice between the two possible routes does not depend on me. So we'll have to go from that. It's also fair to mention one of these routes potentially leads to me going radio silent (blog silent?.. internet silent?..) for a month. Which means no updates on the state of "Time & Again" for a while.

But enough of babbling for now, otherwise I turn into Edgar - who babbles all the time (according to Lothar anyway). That was another one not-really-to-the-point post. I had plenty of those many years ago 😁

See you soon! 👋

[misskasu]

Module 2: Blog Assignment

 Today’s digital media diary was slightly different from the one posted about two weeks ago.  The first thing I usually do is check my Gmail from both accounts around 7 am. This I decided to bravely kill two birds with one stone finish this blog assignment along with the extra credit today before 7 am unlike my last post.                       

5:20 am - logged into Canvas. And watched " In a Nutshell Zuboff: surveillance capitalism and Democracy on YouTube, " about a 17-minute video. After watching the video, I better understand how technology has shaped our lives. I also became aware of the potential hazards of data used in our society. I am now more conscious of the importance of data privacy, even if I have nothing to hide.

 YouTube link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AvtUrHxg8A&ab_channel=AlexandervonHumboldtInstitutf%C3%BCrInternetundGesellschaft

5:40 - 6:10 Read the article "Surveillance Capitalism: What It Is and How It Impacts Democracy" and created a mind map of surveillance capitalism. Started writing an essay on the topic. Developed a thesis statement. Researched more information about this topic. Checked the essay for errors. As part of the essay, I wrote a conclusion and submitted it.

6:10 - I posted the final result online on my Tumblr page.

6:26- Responded to Melissa Radojevic by mentioning that I was aware of the issue of data metrics, and posting at such a young age was a blessing. And since then, I have taken extra steps to protect my personal information. I have also been more conscious of my content. Further, I have taken the necessary steps to ensure that my accounts are private and that I only connect with people I trust.

7: 30- 8:15 AM After I shower, I always start my morning with maintenance. I check my email out as much in the spam and check in with all the clubs and my grandmother. I like to do wordle/digits from the New Times.  My Grandmother lives in Michigan, so she almost will Always do it before me and often gives me hints. But today, I finished before she did. I also cleaned out my spam from both email accounts and double-checked assignments from my other classes

10:00 am to 12:30 — Pandora (in the background) 

I turn on Pandora working on while I work on today’s blog diary and take a look at the extra credit.   I turn on Pandora working on while I work on today’s blog diary and look at the extra credit.   I make sure to take breaks every 15 minutes to stretch and clear my head. I review the content I wrote and make any necessary changes. At 12:30, I'm done with the line, almost done polishing, fixing, and editing grammatical mistakes along the image layout before I post on my Tumblr account.  

At 12:45, I'm done with the blog and publish it. I take a break to reward myself for a job well done. I grab leftovers for lunch and a cup of water before moving on to my next task with 3 episodes of Flash.

2:00 p.m. — Finished lunch break after watching 3 episodes of Netflix series (in this class, the Flash. No spoilers, please I am only on Season 2, Episode 13 I have binge watching prior to this post). After lunch, I felt energized and ready to finish the remaining tasks for the day. I then took a quick swim to get some fresh air and get back to work!

I finish up at 4:45 p.m. — Revising my to-do list for tomorrow. Some assignments take longer, especially if they are papers or essays with multiple responses to that one assignment.I try to make sure I'm done with the assignments that require a lot more effort before I leave. That way, I don't have to worry about them the next day and can focus on the smaller tasks. If I need more time, I'll stay a bit later.

5:00 p.m. — I check my emails and respond to any urgent messages.

7:30 pm - 9:00 pm - I finish this assignment and prepare for tomorrow. Didn't have time to do my daily night reading.

[manifestingsage]

Have you ever felt so emotionally or mentally exhausted after scrolling through your social media feed for what you thought would be 5 minutes, but turned into an hour? Social media has provided us with an outlet to express who we are, what we like or don't like, and to be able to stay connected to the world. But, is it healthy to constantly scroll through your feed and switch between one app to another 50 times a day?According to Broad Band Search, the average amount of time people spend on social media is over 2 hours per day. This may not seem like a lot, however, the average time spent on social media has increased approximately 70% since 2012 when Instagram was first introduced.Broad Band Search estimates that the average person will spend a total of 3,462,390 minutes using social media over their whole lifetime. That's a total of 6 years and 8 months -Yikes!It's safe to say that we probably all have a little addiction to social media. (I know I'm guilty of this) Social media has become the lifeline for staying in the know with current events, family or friends, and discovering new brands.Let's take a look at some of the pros and cons of using social media:Pros Staying connected with the world, friends, news, local businessesCreative expressionPolitical expressionLearning or teaching new skills A good distraction from realityDiscovering so much about the world and seeing it through different lenses (literally)ConsOver-stimulationAddictiveLife being filtered - grey area between reality and fantasyComparing yourself to othersCyber-bullyingA bad distraction from realityPressure to prove your self-worth through likes, comments, views and engagementThis is a short list of pros and cons, as I didn't want to overwhelm you. Can you think of other pros and cons for using social media? Share below in the comments!Social media for me, has been bitter sweet the last 8 years. I'll be honest, when I was in middle school, getting ready to go into high school, I was so desperate to become Instagram famous. I bought 4,000 fake followers from some random website when I googled, "How to grow your Instagram followers".I saw these other girls I followed on Instagram, who I didn't even know, but wanted to be (and look) just like them . They had thousands of followers and likes and I felt that was the only way to prove my self-worth at the time.I kept that Instagram account until about 2 years ago when I came to the realization that this was not who I wanted to be after all. Call it an epiphany or enlightenment - at the time I didn't even realize I was changing to become the person I am today. A much more confident and independent woman who uses social media for enjoyment, rather than to get likes.I created a new Instagram account and followed only people I wanted to follow or who inspired me. No more fake followers, no more fake friends, no more comparing. Just 100 followers and about 20-50 likes per photo (when I decide to post).The great part about my social media journey is that I know I'm not the only one out there who struggled with self-acceptance. So believe me when I say that you are not alone. Social media has plenty of ups and downs, but it's how you choose to use the platform that can make all the difference in the world.Here are 5 tips for developing mindful social media habits:Set an App TimerOne of the great things about advancing technology is that you can now set timers on how often you use an app. For example, Instagram has a feature where you can view how many minutes per day you spend on their platform. Right now my average is at 32 minutes per day on Instagram (yay me!). I also created a reminder to let me know if I've reached my daily limit of 1 hour per day on Instagram so that I know when it's time to stop and rest my eyes and mind.Turn off alertsIn addition to having a timer, I have also turned off social media alerts in my phone settings for both Instagram and Facebook. That way, every time I go to look at my phone I don't have 100 notifications about new posts, live videos, or DM's.

This has really helped me stay present and not instantly get sucked into social media every time I pick up my phone.Only post if you have something to shareFor my old Instagram account, I made it a goal to post every day. This added so much stress to me, in addition to going to school, doing homework, hanging out with friends or family, and traveling. I felt pressured to stay 'relevant' and to post something even more creative than my last photo. It was fun for a while until one day I felt so burnt out and realized that the platforms were bringing myself more harm than inspiration. I deleted my social media apps for about 2 months and when I decided to log back in, that was when I realized something needed to change. I created my new account and made a promise to myself that I would only post if I really wanted to and had something I felt proud of.Dedicate a full day to unplug from social mediaWhether it's once a... Click here to read this complete article. Disclaimer : This article is originally published in thehippielifeofriley.com. All the rights of content are owned by thehippielifeofriley.com. We have published a part of the article with due credits and link to the original author and source.

[ilikemymendarkandfictional]

Thanks for the tag @photogirl894 ! Here's a few lines from my last 10 fics. Not gonna tag anyone, but feel free to join in if you see this post and want to join the fun!

I'll also skip main fics for this game and just do other things. Have a decent variety here!

Future of Zaun (Silco/Olillia request)

Trying to read a list while also trying to not fall from the chair she was standing on was a great challenge. Adding in the presence of Jinx below her did not help the situation. Lil grabbed the shelf in front of her to stabilize herself when she nearly toppled from the chair in response to the girl’s sudden appearance.

2. Taking Chances (Silco/Olillia ficlet)

I would light myself on fire if I thought it would help beat this cold.

Silco pulled his jacket tighter around his thin frame as he walked down the street, hoping it would bring some warmth to his body. The cold wind cut through him like a knife, encouraging him to walk faster toward his destination. The warmth he knew he would find at the Last Drop was the only thing that kept him moving at this point. After spending the day by the docks with the wind whipping around him and freezing him to his bones, he would be content with spending the night in an abandoned building if it meant he could be warm. 

3. I Found You (Silco/Reader)

Silco stared out the window of his office, letting the lights of the city outside fade in and out of focus as he contemplated what the next day held for him. Tonight had been a disaster, not that he had expected anything different from the situation. The only thing that seemed to have gone well was that Jinx had enjoyed the evening, which he supposed was the most important thing. He didn’t have a lot of experience with weddings, but he thought that they were generally a happy event, even with family drama. Namely drama between a parent of the bride and his partner. 

4. Fireworks (Commander Cody/Reader)

The festival was in full swing by the time you arrived with a few of your men; lights were shining all around you, children laughed as they ran past, and the delicious smells of various local foods drifted through the air. It was like something out of a holomovie. The men escorting you wandered off in different directions to enjoy all there was available, leaving you on your own.

5. Part 3 of Artist!Reader (Silco/Reader Request)

A long tired sigh left you as you leaned on the wall and slowly sank down to sit on the ground. The art exhibition had ended over an hour ago, with everyone finally clearing out of the designated space and leaving you alone with the other artists. You had been up to your eyeballs in tasks since you arrived that morning and this was the first opportunity you had been given to sit down. 

6. Part 2 of Artist!Reader (Silco/Reader Request)

What if I bring the wrong paintings? Will people like my simpler works? What if it rains?

These were only a few of the questions bouncing around your brain as you bustled about your studio. You were gathering the things you would need the next day for the exhibition you had been invited to, and your mind was running a mile a minute. You had never been invited to an event like this and you were totally unprepared.

7. A Game of Names (ROTD pt 2-Clone Trooper fic)

Beeping. He could hear beeping. 5009 opened his eyes and stared at the bottom of the bunk above him. There was no reason for there to be beeping, not at this time of day at least. He swung his legs over the edge of his bunk and rubbed his tired eyes. He could hear hushed whispering along with the beeping.

8. Getting Even (Hunter/Reader Request)

The light breeze blowing off the lake before you was a pleasant change from the stale air from the ship. It had been quite some time since you had been able to take a break and enjoy the fresh air. Back to back missions had kept you and the boys busy for a number of weeks, running here and there, never stopping anywhere for long.

9. Port in the Storm (Brasso/Reader)

The sound of marching footsteps outside your window was beginning to wear on your psyche. While Ferrix had never been a quiet place, it wasn’t such a constant cacophony of noise before the Empire had shown up. It seemed endless.

10. Plant Yourself in My Heart (Tech/Anaj ficlet)

“You would think the holonet would have more information on things you should avoid,” Tech grumbled as he scrolled through the limited results his datapad had given him. “It is essential for people to know these things.”

“Most people probably just stay away from the jungle,” Hunter offered, twirling his knife in a circle.

“Can’t say I’m too fond of them myself,” Crosshair said, not looking up from his rifle cleaning project. “Hard to get a good vantage point with all the vines hanging in the way.”

“Especially when you’re hanging from them!” Wrecker shouted from the back of the Marauder.

Creator Self-Promotion

Rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics you posted. If you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

"But K, I don't write but I still create can I still play?"

Post your last 10 pieces and give us a play by play. What was the inspiration? Any fun facts you can share with us?

Anyway let's get on with it

1. Fishing for Compliments - Merman!Crosshair x F!Reader

A sigh passed the young woman’s lips as the sun began to disappear beneath the waves. The waves rocked her quaint vessel as if it were a mother soothing her child. Her meal as well as a plate of identical food remained untouched as she kept her gaze to the depths. Every ripple of its surface a reminder of the mounting minutes that her company kept her waiting.

2. Drop Me a Line - Wrecker x F!Reader

The young woman stifled a yawn as she continued to work the mass of dough to her standards to be plopped into pans to bake. She continued working the dough sparing glances to the chrono on the wall as the sky outside began to lighten with the sunrise. Her pulse spiked when the chrono was checked again. She abandoned the lump of dough as she snatched up a pastry box. The bell chiming as the door opened and closed.

3. Budding Romance - Rex x F!Reader

“And you’re sure you’ll have them there.”

“A bit of faith would be nice, Anakin.”

4. Skin in the Game - Wrecker x OC (Rina) (18+ Please view responsibly)

Wrecker was on the hunt. Thankfully the Marauder held only a few spaces to hide away as he searched the ship. His target tucked away by the sensors. Vibroblade twirling between his fingers while his idle gaze stared at the screen. The demolitions expert took a breath, hoping to find answers.

5. Hair Support - Tup x Reader

The days of the Clone Wars tended to drag on in between assignments. Thankfully, the Republic saw it fit to dispatch your research team with a clone legion escort to ensure the lush jungle planet would not eat you and your colleagues alive. It was in the sweltering heat of the afternoon that one of your study binges was interrupted. You shook your head knowing who dared tread into your tent.

6. Interrogations - Echo x F!Reader (18+ Please view responsibly)

The former arc trooper sighed. Another fruitless attempt at slipping free of his bonds. The chair he was bound to chilled any amount of exposed skin. The room kept dark to prevent him from gathering his bearings. He bided his time, waiting for the tell-tale clicking of his keeper. It was a whisper at first but grew louder as the automatic doors parted.

7. Personal Tastes - Hunter x F!Reader

Strands of meat sizzled and spat as she flipped the tangled mass. Her work distracting from the pair of eyes watching you from the doorway. Her culinary tasks from the staccato chops of a knife to peppers to the accented clink of a mortar and pestle offered a calming tune.

8. Just This Once, Everyone Lives - Rex x Reader

Your bottom lip remained captured between your teeth as the speeder came to a stop. The building looming over the city streets twinkled in the night. A beacon for personnel to gather while dressed to the nines. A hand curled around yours, smoothing over your knuckles.

9. Keep Away - UniversityAU Wrecker x Reader

You filed out with your fellow undergrads as your last class for the afternoon let out. the professor's voice offering mention of the end of the first sprint. You traversed amongst the student body's current before veering off to a corridor. The current loosening its grasp the closer you ventured toward the sanctuary of paper and ink.

10. Nothing Fight - Crosshair x F!Reader

It could be easy to say Clone Force 99 had a culture separate from the sea of clones. Clone medics would be reassigned in the blink of an eye and nat born medics often assigned whoever pissed off the higher ups. This led to your current long term assignment. Having a medic on board being the main reason one of your patients was released to his squad early pending observations.

NPT - @photogirl894 @rain-on-kamino @tecker @techs-stitches @littlemissmanga @annwayne @fakegingerrights @merkitty49 @moodymisty @starrylothcat

Wanna promote your work here too? Do it!

[xxsycamore]

REQUESTS ARE NOT OPEN YET!

REQUESTS WILL BE OPEN AT 2 PM UTC [ FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 30TH ] (CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT TIME IS THAT FOR YOU OR SIMPLY GOOGLE “2 PM UTC TO MY TIME”) 

Surprise! I decided to take requests after all! :) Note that many of the prompts are already taken, by friends of mine. I hope you can help me fill in the gaps with your wonderful ideas! ❤

I'm taking requests for prompts of my Visions of Temptation 2022 Kinktober Content Creation Challenge. Check out the original post for all additional info about the challenge you might need, like explanations of some of the prompts.

This is first batch of requests. You can expect a second batch at a later date. 10 slots available now.

I'm posting the requesting rules + available prompts and characters now, in advance. This is because in previous requests openings, all slots get taken in less than 15 minutes. In order to give you a realistic chance of securing a slot, I'll let you prepare in advance. You can construct your ask now, copy it and paste it into my askbox when the time comes!

RULES:

all of those are going to be explicit fics. Minors DNI

Once 2 PM UTC comes I’ll make an announcement post featuring the same list of available prompts and characters you’ll see below. Don't send your ask before that.

That announcement post will be updated as fast as possible, with the taken prompts crossed out, as well as the taken characters. Don’t request anything crossed out!

Be sure to refresh the page before sending your request and make sure you’re not looking at a reblog of the announcement post because it won’t show any changes made to it! 

Chose a prompt day - one of the pair, or both, if compatible. For example: ( Day 1 - Oct 1st - Oral sex  |  Sixty-nine ) can be combined so you can ask for both, while ( Day 2 - Oct 2nd - Sexy lingerie  |  Not wearing underwear ) cannot and you gotta ask only for one of the two.

Chose a dialogue prompt too, if you wish. Up to two from the dialogue prompt list. I'm going to repeat using those as many times as they get requested, so don't worry about whether they're available or not.

Chose your pairing. You can ask for Character x MC; Character x Reader(gender neutral or female (if unspecified)); Character x Character (M/M). You can also tell me if you prefer MC to be called her canon name or not.

Threesome is acceptable only for the prompt Day 12 - Oct 12th - Double penetration  |  Spitroasting

Don't hesitate being specific! You see that 'sex in a vehicle' prompt? Tell me where they fuckin! In a carriage? Or are we making this a modern AU?

Keep in mind that these are... a lot... it takes me a long time to complete a kinktober challenge. I hope you don't mind the wait and that it can be worth it! 🥺

Don't worry if your request fails to get in, there will always be a next time! The second batch, or later on. I participate in writing challenges all the time and often take requests.

reblogs are appreciated!

So, the format is: Prompt day (one or both) + dialogue prompt (optional)(1, 2) + pairing

example: Can I ask for Morning sex and dialogue “Come back to bed.” for Chevalier x MC?

██████ FANDOMS AND CHARACTERS I’M WRITING FOR:

- Ikemen Vampire: All characters (+ Charles, Vlad, Faust)

- Ikemen Revolution: All characters (+ Dean, Dalim, Mousse and Levie)

- Ikemen Prince: All characters (+ Gilbert, Keith, Silvio)

- Ikemen Sengoku: Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, Masamune, Mitsunari and Shingen only 

NEW: Piofiore: Dante, Nicola, Gilbert, Yang, Yuan, Leo, Oliver only

yeah, if you ask for a Leo or a Gilbert or an Oliver, specify the fandom 😅

██████ THE AVAILABLE PROMPTS:

Day 2 - Oct 2nd - Sexy lingerie  |  Not wearing underwear

Day 3 - Oct 3rd - Phone sex  |  Wet dreams

Day 4 - Oct 4th - Outdoor sex  |  Sex in a vehicle

Day 5 - Oct 5th -Voyeurism  |  Mirror sex

Day 7 - Oct 7th - Against the wall  |  Desk/table sex

Day 9 - Oct 9th- Striptease  |  Clothed sex

Day 10 - Oct 10th - Morning sex  |  Waking up at night for sex

Day 11 - Oct 11th - Make-up sex   |  Aftercare

Day 12 - Oct 12th - Double penetration  |  Spitroasting

Day 17 - Oct 17th - Discipline and punishment  |  Asphyxiation

dialogue prompt list under the cut.

DIALOGUE LIST:

1. “Let’s just have sex instead.”

2. “This part of you…seems to be very sensitive.”

3. “Prove to me that you deserve this.”

4. “If you give me a hickey, I’ll have to give you one too.”

5. “Ah, I see you have a little problem. I can help.”

6. “I’ve never been into this stuff…until I met you.”

7. “I just like keeping you close. You’re so warm.”

8. “Be quiet. We’re not alone.”

9. “And what if I want you to do that?”

10. “It’s okay, you’re doing great. Keep going.”

11. “Come back to bed.”

12. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

13. “Can you feel what you’ve done to me?”

14. “Okay, but we have to be quick.”

15. “Fine, I admit, I’ve fantasized about this before.”

16. “I’ll go gentle. Though, we can always change that.”

17. “You shouldn’t have said that. Now I can’t resist you.”

18. “I knew you were secretly a pervert, but this…!”

19. “That’s it, there we go…just like that.”

20. “Are you trying to seduce me? Because it’s working.”

21. “It’s time for payback. Turn around.”

22. “So you do like getting spoiled after all.”

23. “Don’t stop looking at me while you do it.”

24. “You say that, but all I hear is ‘more, more, more’”

25. “I want to love every inch of you tonight.”

26. “Hey, hey, two on one is not fair!”

27. “Enough of that, let me fuck you.”

28. “You can still keep going?! What in the world are you?”

29. “Take your time. The whole night is ahead of us.”

30. “You like the way this fabric feels, don’t you?”

31. “Your face is a mess… a very pretty mess.”

Happy requesting everyone and good luck ❤ See you in my askbox soon!

[maggyoutthere]

This "Everywhere At The End Of Time" thing has been showing up on my recommendations list on youtube. What even is this thing-

I mean it sounds neat. I'm like half an hour in and I like it :/ it's so nostalgic with the static and record scratches. I'm a sucker for ambient music and these sound neat

Edit:

Reached Stage 2

What is happening why is this triggering something in me. Like I can clearly tell something's wrong. You can still hear the music but the static and record scratches are louder.

I'm kinda scared though. As much as I love listening to music I can tell when something is just more than your typical summer hit or even mental health PSA. What is this-

Edit 2

K so apparently this is an album representing various stages of dementia. That's a tricky thing to do but I have faith in music. It's a great way to express stuff so I'm very curious to what this is gonna turn out like.

Edit 3

Idk if I like where this is going.

"I still feel as though I am me" broke me a little for some reason. Idk why but it just stood out differently to me. I am very very hesitant to jump some tracks to get to hear the other stages still today. Most of these tracks transmit the same idea but I didn't want to leave out anything.

Also no I hate rb stuff to make those threads. Have the consecutive edits of this thing.

Edit 4

STAGE 3 YOU CAN'T JUST CUT OFF LIKE THAT WHAT THE HELL-

Little heart attack I just had aside, I'm liking it so far. It's starting to get very uneasy but I think that's the point of it. Goodness gracious Stage 3 scared the absolute crap out of me. It cut just like that. So abruptly and caught me off guard. Not even a fade out, damn.

Edit 5

I had to skip some tracks from the second half of Stage 3 and

oh no

Edit 6

Reached Stage 4

I am having some very visceral reactions to this. It is incredibly unnerving but I want to keep listening to it so much. I love how it’s not even music anymore, it’s just... noise. Lots of different noises all crumbled up together, unified by some vely loud static.

Might have to skip some bits here because all Stage 4 songs are 30 min long each.

Edit 7

MOMS COME PICK ME UP OH FUCK OH GOD NO NO NO NO

I HATE IT HERE BUT I LOVE IT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It’s so hard to put down what this is doing. I’m not even sorry for rambling just take this post for what it is idfk if people are even reading this but holy fuck.

The 30 minute ones are killing me from the inside out. I’m very sensitive to audio and sounds (probably because of autism) and this is just pulling all the levers in my brain. It’s so- i have no idea what to call it. Sensory triggering?? I guess???

Edit 8

Stage 5.

Oh... god. 

Edit 9

Reached Stage 6

This has no description, both in the video and in my head. The sheer nothingness something so loud can transmit; the void where something should be but you can't remember what. Blessed were the minutes when I was still listening to the first track; there was music at least. Now there's just this emptiness, this absolutely deafening silence.

The worst is that you know exactly what's going on.

Edit 10

Listening to the last track: Stage 6 - Place in the World fades away

Everywhere At The End Of Time is a series exploring dementia, its advancement and its totality.

I cannot put to words what an absolute masterpiece this is. To tackle such a serious mental illness like this one is already an incredibly hard thing to do; to make art out of it is risky, to make it work is nothing short of a miracle.

The Caretaker (pseudonym of the composer) is an absolute master of his craft. To use something so carefully constructed as music and sound to make sense of something that makes someone not make sense is a challenge to say the least. How do you even go about it? In music there are bound to be rhythms and leitmotifs and patterns: there is bound to be organization.

This is where EATEOT absolutely excels in. I don't know if this could be called of music but I'll surely call it of art; the genius of these tracks are in their editing rather than in their composition. The first 2 stages are pretty much just songs with static noises and record scratches layered on top. It gets the message across: there is still memory, it's just blurry, washed out. It's there but it's hard to see.

From then on out, everything changes. Stage 3 keeps the background noise going, now repeating certain parts of the songs or even reverberating them. The memories themselves are starting to change, not just getting difficult to access. Stage 4 sees the absolute fear and horror of realizing such thing is happening. The grasping at anything in pure terror of forgetting everything. There is no such thing as music now. It's unnerving, it's uneasing, and rightfully so. This does not sugarcoat things and I personally like that.

Stage 5 hits us with a certain calmness after the storm. Things aren't better of course, they're just quieter. Memories are starting to dissapear completely and now there is mostly only the background noises.

Then comes Stage 6. It's desolated, it's deserted, it's nothing. It's gut wrenching. I'd like to touch on the last song because I particularly liked this one. "Place in the World fades away" is, in my opinion, divided into 2 parts. In the 1st half you have static and noise. There is nothing in there. The occasional crescendo almost scares you because of how hollow the mind seems to be at this point, but it leads nowhere. Then there's the 2nd half. You start to hear music. Actual music this time. A choir of voices, still echoing from somewhere else remind you of how it first started: with the music. It puts things into perspective and signals you towards the first of this 6-part series, how far we've come. Then, as if telling what must be told, the music fades away, leaving you with a whole minute of absolute silence. No static, no record scratches, literally a whole minute of dead silence.

I found myself continuously going back to this tumblr post and to the comment section of the video; I didn't want to feel like I was experiencing this alone, and I was glad to see people in the comment section helping eachother out, talking and venting, so that was heartwarming.

I know I'm not usually very serious about things but I wanted to try and do it for this absolute magnum opus. I like to critique stuff as much as the next guy, but to be able to analyze something like this is unique. If you want something to challenge you emotionally, something to make you think and reflect on things, this is an absolute must.

Tl;dr: Everywhere At The End Of Time is a haunting representation of dementia, both in its advancement and in its totality. It's really profound and definitely worth a try if you have some free hours.

[acciocriativity]

You and Me II || Harry Potter

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Slytherin/Reader

Summary: After years at Hogwarts, your life would really begin and nothing could be better than to start this new phase with your official birthday party, but the next day does not turn out quite as expected.

Warnings: For those who haven't read the first part yet, Tom Riddle is not Voldemort in this fic. The first wizard war was against another wizard but its consequences are still valid! Just pure fluff and an implied bit of smut.

Word Count: 3,0k

A/N: This is obviously the part two of You and Me, but it’s not necessarily related, so you can just read this one as a one shot but the first part gives you a lot of context for this, ok? ok then. (Happy really early Birthday Katie! I'd like to post this on your bday but I was too anxious for this. Hope you like it!)

Part I

04/27/1997

"You're really not well, how can a person be in this state when their birthday is so close? I've tried to understand and still can't", the brunette's bored voice made itself present in the room for the 4th time in the day and as I prepared my answer, she held up her hand and delivered her own hypothesis first. "You can't be sad that we're finishing seventh year, I swear for Merlin's sake, if that's the case, I'll...", the words slipped slowly from her mouth, as did the calmness remaining in her.  

"Even though anything you have to say sounds like a lot of fun, it's not the case. I really want to start my own life, have my own job and all that. I'm just thinking a lot lately, too many things have happened, we've all changed so much", I didn't bother to look at her, still focused on the ceiling painted like a blue summer sky and she didn't mind asking permission to lie next to me on the bed. 

"We had to grow up eventually, although some took too long, in fact, I can point out for sure that half the boys still act like kids", we both laughed until our bellies ached.

"Well, good for us then because Draco and Blaise are not on that list and don't even dare look at me like that, you know he's changed a lot", I heard her amused giggles and already imagined what was coming. 

"I wasn't even going to say anything this time, it's really impressive how you just stick up for him, I hope it's the same with me", I frowned and looked at her as if she was out of her mind, and there were chances she really was. "Since when do you need protection from someone?". 

"I never said I needed it, but it's nice to know I have it", she shrugged without looking me in the eye and I decided it would be better to change the subject, because nothing good ever comes out of a Pansy, who is unseasy in any sense. 

"So, about your...," she started. "Pansy, what do you…”, I said at the same time, but I just smiled and waited in silence for what she had to say. 

"I was going to ask about your parents, you're going to have to live with them in a month, so how are you feeling about that?", she just glanced at me. 

"That's been going through my mind, I have no idea what it's going to be like but it's going to be better than anything that's happened in the past, that's enough for now", I sighed. 

"You know you can come to my house, right? You can hide there", I agreed with a smile and we continued in a comfortable silence. 

04/29/1997

7:30 A.M.

 On the morning of my birthday, I woke up in the best possible way. The warmth emanating from Draco's body and the thick blanket kept me unfazed by the freezing wind coming in through the window. I didn't want to move and I didn't need to. 

I sighed satisfied with the position I was in, curled up under the blanket hugging the blond's bare torso, with no responsibility or obligation other than to enjoy my day. 

"Morning, love", his arms pressed me tighter against him, I could feel his calm breathing and somehow, I felt calmer too.

I left a few kisses on his bare skin and the goosebumps they caused on him made me break out into a little smile. "Good morning, love", I whispered leaning back against him.  

"Come here, let me give you a proper happy birthday", he gave my hair a quick pat and lifted my chin to look at him. 

 As soon as I crawled closer to him, his arms entwined around my waist and pulled me even closer. 

"Happy birthday my love", he left several little kisses on my face and neck before moving to my lips, but our moment was interrupted by a noise on the window.

 A gray owl incessantly beat its beak on the window pane, we looked at each other, neither of us wanted to get up, but it would be too cruel to leave the poor thing waiting there. 

"It's my birthday, I have the right to ask you to go", I gave a brief kiss on his lips before letting him go to the war field. 

 I stayed warm while he opened the window further so that the owl could get through, as well as the icy wind. 

He rushed back to my side in time to see me tear the seal off the letter I received. 

"It's from my parents, they are really working hard this year. I have to admit that", I told him as I scanned the paper. 

"At least they realized what a great daughter they have, she's a little mean but still great", I was too busy reading the letter to notice his cunning and more icy than usual hands pass around me.  

 I jumped out of bed as I felt the shock of our skin contact and he had the audacity to laugh, I had to control myself too much not to grab my wand. 

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, you are dead now", I climbed into bed with my pillow, ready to fight. 

20:00 P.M.

 A few hours later, I was getting ready for the party in the Slytherin common room, everyone was invited since after this stressful year, a party would be nice and I couldn't physically kick anyone out. 

I was barely concentrating in my makeup, Nala was running back and forth between my feet wanting attention and I couldn't give it to her or for the next few hours, no matter how much it broke my heart. 

"For Merlin's sake... Nala! Sit!", it saddened me to see that she obeyed but still wanted to come running to me, that deserved a good reward.

 I fed her one of her favorite cookies and petted her shiny fur before going back in front of the mirror. I checked several times to make sure I was ready. 

"See you later my love, mma will be back soon", I waved to her and went downstairs before I gave in. 

 There were already a lot of people when I arrived, the new song by The Weird Sisters was so loud that Pansy didn't hear me, even though I called out 2 times as she passed by on the other side of the room. 

As I made my way through, many friends stopped to congratulate me and also to chat a bit, by the time I realized what I was supposed to do, more than 10 minutes had passed. 

"Have you guys seen Pansy? I was looking for her", I said before turning my own glass of buttered beer over and leaving it in Tom's hand. "See you guys later", my eyes were glued on the blond guy standing in the corner and in less than a second, I was walking towards him. 

"What the hell am I supposed to do with that?!", I heard his indignant voice but ignored it along with all the other people, who tried to talk to me on my way to him. 

"You know, the delay is only elegant because it doesn't last more than 5 minutes", he was smiling even though he hated tardiness. 

"Maybe for most people, a queen is never late love, the others were too early. Especially when it's her birthday", I stopped in front of him. "You haven't given me my present yet, I'm waiting", I pointed to my own lips.  

 He chuckled and looked at me for a few seconds before he said  something, even with the lights flashing I could still see the twinkle in his eyes, which still reflected mine equally. 

"Are you asking this as a gift around too?", his smile widened as did mine, he took a step closer. 

"Does that mean you're not going to give it to me? I had high expectations for this one in particular", something in his gaze changed, I could clearly tell but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. 

"That particular one can wait, right now, I have my main gift", he took his hands off his back and in them was a green velvet median box with silver details. 

 I was almost breathless just admiring the package once it was in my hands. To top it off, a green silk bow and I had the impression that he had made it himself. 

When I opened it, my jaw dropped. A silver necklace with an emerald heart carefully displayed in the box. 

"Draco, you really didn't have to give me something expensive", he didn't answer me, instead took the necklace and helped me put it on. 

"It seemed like an appropriate gift, now that we will no longer be living by Slytherin rules, it’s a nice way to say goodbye", I didn't think twice before I kissed him. 

"I love you, I'll never get tired of saying that", I whispered between kisses. "You won't forget that, right?", I sighed as he brushed his lips across the skin of my neck. 

"I have no reason to forget love, I...", we were interrupted by a forced cough behind me. 

"Why don't you two just go into a room? No one has to see this scene", Blaise's unmistakable voice sounded and I felt my boyfriend giggle, not moving out of position. 

"You can go after your girlfriend instead of getting in our way, wouldn't that be a brilliant idea?", I didn't see what happened, but a nice answer wouldn't be."So where were we honey?", he raised his eyes to meet mine. 

"We better save that for the end of the party love, wasn't that your idea?", I pulled away from him and took his hand. "You have a whole party to enjoy." 

"I already regret that decision, thanks for reminding me", he mumbled that and a few other things I couldn't hear. 

07/01/1997

7:00 A.M.

"I still can't believe this is our last breakfast at Hogwarts", Astoria commented amidst the silence that had formed at our table. 

"I still can't believe it's really over, it seems like any minute now I'm going to wake up and be back in third year", Pansy added. 

"Well, I hope you'll make better decisions if you go back there tonight. No one forgot the hair Pan", my remark made everyone laugh for the first time in the day, a bit of pride grew inside me. 

"Just because Hogwarts is over doesn't mean we're going to split up. None of you have any right to be this down today", Theo said and I was forced to smile as was everyone else. 

"I was glad to be rid of you, at no point I was sad," Blaise muttered but we could all hear him and we all laughed once again. 

8:00 A.M. 

"What are you thinking?" he was with his eyes closed leaning against the train window, but I knew he wasn't asleep. 

"How familiar everything here is, the worn leather of the seat, the smell of candy in the hallway and of trees coming in through the window. Other things will be familiar 7 years from now, it's just weird to think about it," he continued in the same position but held out his hand to me. 

"That's true but I feel better knowing that we will continue to be each other's constant," I intertwined our fingers and we continued like that until we arrived.  

11:00 A.M. 

"It's time for the gifts, we prefer to give you personally. I believe you will like it", my mother said as soon as we sat down on the couch in our living room. 

 I smiled not knowing how to respond, since I usually got the same thing every year, money or more paint, and I was pretty sure they didn't choose in person. 

"Go ahead, open it. We decided to give two separate presents this year, the pink wrapping is mine and the purple one is your father's", the two boxes were right next to me on the couch, so why was I hesitating so much to pick them up? 

 A lot was going on in my head, they have changed a lot in the last year but why? I could be dreaming of the ideal day, but no dream was as vivid as this one.

I took a deep breath and opened the pink first, I expected to find anything but my stuffed bunny, he was washed and clean, different from how I remembered, but still the same. 

"I thought I lost or tore it a long time ago", I managed to say as I hugged him like one who finds an old friend, but he was beyond that. 

"He was really in a rough state, but I was able to fix him. It was in one of the boxes in the basement, remember how you got it?", I agreed again, a wave of memories washed over me. 

My parents had just arrived home from a business trip, it was the first time I had been alone at home without them. 

"Mommy, Daddy!", I ran down the stairs as fast as my little legs would allow and threw myself into my father's arms, not caring about his wet coat, which soon became even wetter. "You promi-promised that you would be back soon”. 

"Oh my love, something unexpected has happened. We were never going to leave you alone for so long," her hands wiped away my tears and took me in her lap. "So, for you never have to be alone again, we brought a little friend, he will always keep you company when we have to leave." 

That wasn't enough to calm me down but it made me curious enough to stop crying, I didn't have any friends before that. 

 I hurried to open the other package but there was only an empty picture frame with no photo inside. 

Before I could open my mouth to ask for an explanation, shapes began to appear from the black background. 

I recognized the picture, me still a baby in my mother's arms and my father behind her, hugging us both but as soon as I blinked, it was gone. 

Another picture formed in its place, I was older, about two or three years old, this one I had never seen. I was on my mother's lap holding a drawing that I had made and possibly looked terrible. 

More pictures appeared and disappeared but I didn't wait to see them all at that moment. 

"I loved these gifts...thank you Mom and Dad," I made a great effort to hold back the tears as I hugged them both. "They are the best presents I have ever gotten." 

23:00 P.M. 

"What are you two doing out there at this time of night?! Draco, have you been drinking now?", Narcisa gave us another stern look before opening the door and shoving us inside. 

 We walked in almost tripping over the living room rug, laughing at each other, to the point where tears formed in our eyes.  

"Shhhhhh, my dad must be working... uhhhhhh, he's not going to like this, u-um," his hand covered my mouth. 

I pushed his hand away from my face. “Me?Shut up? You're practically screaming you idiot!".

 "You two, I don't want another peep out of you. Come up quietly. Your father doesn't like to be interrupted," she whispered, but it was enough for us to agree without hesitation. 

"Yes, Captain, I mean, ma'am," he pulled me up the stairs before her patience ran out. 

07/02/1997

14:00 P.M. 

"What do you mean, you don't remember what happened?", the blond was clearly trying hard not to laugh and I sighed, still under the blanket. 

"I don't remember Draco, did your mother really not hate me? I can't believe we came here...", even though no one was watching me, I started to blush, or was it just the fever? There's no way to be sure now. 

"That could never happen, she made sure to request your favorite tea. Now get out of there before it gets cold", he tried to pull on my blanket but I used all the rest of my strength not to let him.  

"Noooo, out there that's too cold. Come here, it's too cold for you too", I took one of my hands from the comfortable warmth to pull him to me. "You didn't have to get up so early to get this", I whispered but soon after started coughing. 

"There must be a potion to help you, I'll just get it and then...", he was ready to get up from the bed but I didn't let go of his arm. 

"I just want you, please stay here? The elf will bring it anyway", before he could protest, I covered him with the blanket. "You're not well either, let's just lay down for now". 

 He opened his mouth to deny it again but all that came out was a sneeze, after this he just gave up and lied down too. We were both screwed but at least we were together, right? I tried to think positive.

[ @x-dratie-x @fa-me]

Harry Potter Masterlist

[lyliah7]

The Bats Shall Dance For You - chapter 1

(Okay so technically it's been the 2nd of October for 13 minutes where I live, but in my defense I spent 4 hours outlining my fic so it took longer than planned, AND I posted on AO3 at like 11:59.)

Summary

Last Hallowe'en, Mildred saved the school (once again) and the founding stone. This Hallowe'en, she just wanted to be a better witch, and Miss Hardbroom's offer to tutor her was the best thing that could ever happened to her. After all, not only would she get to learn even more from the greatest witch there was, she would get to spend a lot more time with her favorite teacher.

Notes

Hi :D

This takes places right after season 2, basically you can forget everything that happened after the founding stone because I am ignoring it (except the fact that Mildred is lantern monitor)

I'm following The Worst Witchy-tober 2021, so each chapter of this fic will be inspired by a prompt. I will try to update every day but I might have some delay from time to time because school and life are hard.

Title from The Extraordinary Esper Vespertilio.

I hope you like it!

English isn't my first language and this isn't betta-read so all mistakes are mine.

No CW for this chapter (if you think I should add some please tell me and I'll add them!)

Fic under the cut. Also posted on AO3.

Hallowe’en is in the air

This morning was like any other morning for Hecate Hardbroom, deputy head of Cackle’s academy. At 5 am she got up to make sure no one was wreaking havoc (it was pretty unplausible this early in the morning but you never know what goes through the head of teenaged witches) and once that was done, she went to prepare her potion laboratory for the day. This never took her long but you can’t ever be too prepared. By the time she was done with her morning tasks it was still only 6 am, Mildred should have already gotten up to put out the lanterns (but she was probably trailing down the stairs while trying to put her shoes on). Well, Hecate would give her half an hour more before checking on her, first she had to make a new batch of Wide-Awake potions because she was almost out of them and that wouldn’t do.

Once the potion was safely bottled in and hidden in her private rooms, Hecate went to tour the castle to check on Mildred and enjoy the fresh air and quiet before it was too late (but mostly to check on Mildred).

As soon as Mildred spotted her, she stopped her broom to say a quick well met and made a slopy bow that almost caused her to fall over (but luckily, she caught herself just in time to not embarrass herself in front of her form mistress, again). As soon as the potion teacher returned the greeting, Mildred flew off to finish her lantern duty and then head off to breakfast. As Hecate looked at her perform her task, a thought crossed her mind unbidden, and since it wasn’t the first time she had this specific thought she decided to talk about it with Ada.

~

Knock knock

‘Come in!’

‘Well met Ada.’

‘Well met Hecate, do you want a biscuit?’

‘No thank you. I’m here to talk to you about Mildred Hubble.’

‘Oh dear. What has she done now?’

‘She has changed since she learned she came from a witching family. She is more focused on her work and does not hesitate to ask me question anymore.’

‘Hm yes, Miss Drill, Miss Bat and Mister Rowan-Webb told me the same. But that’s hardly something that needs to be reported before breakfast. So, what are you thinking about Hecate?’

‘When you gave Miss Hubble a place here, I feared for the craft. And ever since then, mayhem and mishaps have seemed to follow in her footsteps. I thought she might benefit from a mentorship with one of the teachers.’

‘And are you included in this list of teachers, dear?’

‘Well… she… she would hardly want to spend more time with me, and the point is for her to enjoy this… arrangement.’

‘And what makes you think that? After all, as you said she comes to you when she has questions. She could go and ask any of us but she chose you every time. And we all know you are the best witch there is, thus you are the best mentor she could ever have.’

‘Oh. Well… I… If you are sure?’

‘I am.’

‘Well, in that case I guess I should tell her tonight, once she is done with lantern duties for the day.’

And with that said, Hecate waved her hand and transferred away. She had to talk with one Ms. Hubble to get her authorization before speaking with her daughter.

~

‘Miss Hardbroom! You scared me! Don’t you people know it is polite to knock on someone’s door, rather than just appear in the middle of their living room unannounced?’

Ignoring the barb thrown her way, Hecate simply stated that she needed to talk about Mildred and that it couldn’t wait. Once she had Julie’s attention, she explained how Mildred got into less scrapes and how more focused she seemed in class. She told her that while Mildred was still behind her peers it wasn’t for a lack of work or effort on her part, but it was simply because she was missing the bases that every young witch grew up with.

‘It’s good to hear you praising my Millie and finally realizing she is doing all she can in a world she was thrown into without explanations, but couldn’t that be said through a mirror call?’

‘That could have been… done through a call yes. But I wanted to ask you the authorization to offer Mildred some tutoring… with… me. I do not wish for her to be deterred in her hard work, and I fear having more lessons might feel like a punition to her.’

‘You mean, with you.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You mean “having more lessons with you”. You think Millie will hate spending time with you. Well, you don’t have to worry about that. Any time she is home she goes on and on about how great a witch you are. And it would be amazing for her to finally be taught what her classmates learned as toddlers.’

‘Must I understand that you approve of this arrangement?’

‘Yes, I do. Now go and tell my daughter, she will be overjoyed.’

The grimace on Hecate’s face when hearing this sentence cracked Julie up in a fit of giggles, and as the dark-haired witch transferred from the Hubble flat to the sound of the non-witch’s laughter, all she could think about was how similar this sound was to Mildred’s own giggles (usually heard after one of Enid’s many pranks).

~

That night

The potion mistress watched her student lit the last lantern and beaconed her closer.

‘Yes, Miss Hardbroom?’

‘Mildred Hubble… It is… good… to see you taking your duties seriously.’

‘Of course, Miss! I’m a real witch now, after all!’

‘You were a… real… witch before finding out your ancestors were witches.’

‘You really think so?’

‘Hm. I observed that lately you have spent more time focusing on your lessons, and less times causing mayhem.’

‘Well, I’m trying to be a great witch, just like you, Miss!’

If that sentence made Hecate emotional (and it definitely did), she shown nothing of it and simply offered Mildred to tutor her if she so wished. Mildred barely refrained from hugging her teacher after this proposal, her being tutored by Miss Hardbroom? The worst witch being tutored by the best witch? That was definitely the best day of her life! (Well, right after that Hallowe’en her mum took her to a fair and won her a huge plushie of a cat in a pumpkin outfit.)

Seeing Mildred going back to her room with a skip in her step because of the idea of working with her made the deputy’s heart flutter in her chest. Last Hallowe’en was the worst of Hecate’s life, being frozen and all, but this year Hallowe’en might well be her best Hallowe’en yet.

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 5, part 2: connie’s proposal

an: hey yall 😛 i'll be posting another q&a before the final elimination chapter comes out. the day after that, i will close the poll, so make good choices! if you wanna change your mind, do it NOW! if you haven't voted, NOW is your chance😁 also, once again, i had to add an extended part to the connie family chapter because the full thing did not upload :( if the extended part helps you change your mind on connie, let me know! also, i really like this chapter because i could properly write a beach story! i went to a beach last week for the very first time and now i won't sound stupid when writing (and i'll never beat around the bush again!) link at the bottom!

tags: fem, black reader

tag list: @taybird

Unlike Jean, Connie did give you an idea of where you were going. He told you to bring some sandals and a light outfit and "not to worry about swimming because I know you don't want to mess up your hair- or makeup". There was a high chance you would be going to the beach where you had your first solo date. It was also the first time you talked about Connie being your husband. He said something about being "wise" about your decision. Now that you think about it, there was a pattern of Connie trying to avoid the fact that you two would have to be in love. You wondered if he'd bring that up again while proposing to you. You wouldn't want to say no to Connie if he did that but the whole friend zone thing is a BIG turnoff (y'all's words, not mine 😉)

But there was a positive side to this maybe? You already knew Connie and he had a higher advantage than Jean. You wouldn't even have to think about building a connection with him because you already had one. But the problem was love. You knew would enter a relationship with Jean, y'all would be lovey-dovey BUT you would need to build a friendship too.

Damn, this was hard. But this would all be over soon. You'd get a big wedding and if you didn't like Connie or Jean, you could move on. It's not like you're signing papers at the televised ceremony.

But anyways 😭 let's starts Connie's date. No time for analysis!

Connie had texted you that he was outside. You grabbed your purse and left the mansion. When you got outside, Connie was leaning on his car, being handsome and all.

"Hey," you greet him. You hold your arms out, hoping for a hug or even a kiss. Connie steps forward leans towards you but his head goes to the side and he's hugging you. Would this guy wait till the possible engagement before getting romantic with you or would the rest of your marriage be like this?

Connie pulls away. "I'm really excited," he says. You want to yell at him right now but the day just started. Maybe he was doing all this to lead you on and make sure you want to fight for him. To be real, this was getting tiring. Connie better be doing something big!

"I'm really excited to see what you have in store for me as well," you reply. Other than seeing Connie's next moves or his proposal, you were excited about the food. You knew Connie could cook, it was in his genes and he did cook for you multiple times throughout the show. As Connie opens the passenger seat for you, you begin to ask him what was on the menu today.

"Well, I've noticed how nauseous you get when under the pressure, so I made egg sandwiches and I packed juices and water. I hope that's alright. When we get engaged, I'll make you a big meal. I promise," Connie says before closing your door.

You thought it was sweet that Connie took note of that. When he got into the driver's seat, you gave him a small smile before opening your mouth. "Thank you, Connie. I really appreciate the fact that you thought about that."

Connie starts the car and begins the drive to the venue. There wasn't much talking done, probably because you would bring up the whole friendship thing. You wanted to get that settled but you also wanted to see what Connie has planned. These two dates weren't just about you saying yes or no but it was a way to see how much Jean and Connie wanted you. If there were problems in the past, they would try and fix them now.

Minutes later you were at the beach (you were right😁). Connie found parking and got out of the car to get the food. You got out on your own. It was weird not having someone rush to your side to open your door. Connie met you on your side of the car and offered you his hand. You can't remember him doing that before (if he has, forgive me yall🧍🏾‍♀️). But his hands felt nice, so you couldn't complain.

The same table from your solo date remained there. "Hey, Connie, just for you, I'll get in the water," you suddenly say. "Huh?! Really?!" he explains. 'Gosh, what a kid,' you think. "You just made this better, y/n! Thank you!" Connie continues. "Just my feet though. I didn't come here to get baptized or anything."

Connie places the picnic basket with all the little things he packed for you. He then proceeds to pull a chair out for you. When you sit, he pulls out one egg sandwich for you. "Juice or water?" Connie asks. "Um, (juice/water)," you reply. He places the drink of your choice in front of you and finally sits down. Connie sets up his food and is ready to dig in until he notices that you haven't touched any of your food.

"Hey...is everything alright? You feel sick?"

You shake your head. "Connie, we need to talk."

Connie sits up slowly. "What's up?"

You liked that Connie was able to see that something was up. This would be useful if you got married.

"How long are you going to friendzone me?"

Connie chokes in his spit. "What?"

"I mean sure we've been lovey-dovey but I still don't feel that romantic connection. If I do say yes to you, I expect us to start acting like a couple. I want you to be my husband, not my friend."

Connie is silent for a minute and then he opens his mouth. "But people who are friends-"

"Oh, shut up. You can be my friend but I want a husband! Please, stop bringing up those statistics and love me!"

You never thought you would be throwing a mini tantrum over a man. Is this who we are? Is this what we represent?

"Come with me," Connie says. You're hesitant to get up until he offers his hand to you. You take it and he pulls you up from the chair.

Connie slowly leads you down the water and you start to freak out mentally. Was he going to drown for telling him off? Connie wasn't that crazy right?

As you walked, you felt yourself slipping out of your shoes. The sand didn't hesitate to fill in the gaps of your toes and tickle your feet. The further you went, the deeper you were. Connie was just walking like it was nothing. You reached the water and Connie came to a stop. For a moment, he stared out into the ocean. You just stared at your feet. The waves pushed the water on your feet causing you to sink more into the sand. This was the world. You were on the edge. You weren't going to live for long, so you had to make the best of it.

"y/n, I hear your cries for love and I'm willing to give it to you. Marry me. I'll work on myself and you'll work on yourself. I promise you, I'll do anything to grow old with you."

Connie’s ring didn’t come in a box. He just pulled it out from his pocket. It was a diamond covered band with a halo shaped sapphire right in the middle.

damn, wonder who y’all gonna choose🤒 LINK

if you’re curious about how these rings look like, here:

connie (left) jean (right , however, his doesn’t match the description i wrote😒)

also, sorry for the white hand. i took a buzzfeed quiz

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Two

Words: 4.3K

Warning(s): explicit language, sexual situations, violence, drug abuse, domestic abuse

Tag List: @unknownoblivion  @edwardtriggerhandzz  @haileynicoleseavey17  @cierrasixx19  @oskea93  @mgkobsessed  @sharon6713  @itsametaphorbriansblog  @miriampraez  @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx  @rebeccaphillips14  @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie  @emariehorror  @divaanya  @6ixx6ixx  @ratedrkohardychick91  @floregrohlssard  @oldschoolimagineblog  @abaldboi  @liith-ium  @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels  @ytwahsog  @scarecrowmax  @random-internet-user-4471  @solohqrry  @sparxx27  @kaitieskidmore1  @cruecifymesixx    @meetthesixxter    @arianareirg  @gingerspicetalks

@fancywasmyname1  @teller258316  @ggorehorror  @blowinmeupwithherlove  @xrosegoldwolfx  @mylifeisjustafeverdream  @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil @crystalbaby12

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

Vivian strikes again. 

My leg shakes with each tap of my foot as I impatiently wait for her to come through that door. I've been waiting for nearly forty-five minutes. 

Maybe I scared her off with pitching a fit over her not telling me about her miscarriages. But I had a good reason to be upset. Addict or not, I fucking deserved to know what the hell was going on.

"Where's your wife?" Amber asks me, glancing at her watch. 

"Hiding more kids from me, probably." I mumble and she raises her brows, staring at me for a moment. 

"While we wait for her, can you do me a favor?" She asks and I shrug. "Take a few minutes to try to imagine what having kids during the last four years would have been like with your drug addiction. Because you would still have a drug addiction--babies wouldn't have changed that." She points out. "Honestly," she adds. "Close your eyes, and take some breaths, and just use your imagination as to what having children during these last few years would have done to you, and to your wife.

I take a breath and close my eyes, deciding it probably couldn't hurt to try to wrap my head around being a dad right now, especially with as many as she lost...

1984

...I feel Viv's weight shift from me, her eyes closed, a little hum comes from her when she turns her back to me but still keeps close, her feet tangled with mine, her lions mane of hair still spread out over my pillow as well as hers. Despite being half asleep, myself, I tighten my arms hold just under her ribs and pull her to me before my hand slides over her five-month pregnant stomach. 

I lull back to sleep, before I'm woken up merely minutes later by the sound of the baby crying and Vivian pulling herself away from me, putting her robe on to cover her naked body. 

She sighs under her breath, mumbling something, and I sit up. 

"I can go--"

"--No, I got it." She says, dismissively.

"Vivian, are you still pissed at me?" I ask. 

"You ditched me on our anniversary and stayed out all night smoking smack and partying with your moron friends."

"I offered for you to come out with us." I remind her.

"I'm pregnant and we have a daughter here, Nikki. One of us needs to remember that." She adds before stomping out. 

I roll my jaw and feel a spiteful twinge in my mind. 

Perhaps spiteful, perhaps wanting to chase away the guilt of ditching her last night…

I end up in the bathroom, chasing the dragon, curled under my high while hearing Vivian softly sing hymnals to the six-month old…

I assume she knows exactly where I'm at once she's done, because I hear her walk back to our bedroom and, when she usually comes to find me so she's not by herself, she doesn't come looking for me. 

1986

"...No, you idiot, not that…" I say to myself, rubbing my forehead, scribbling out the line of lyrics I've been fighting to get out. 

The door of mine and Viv's bedroom is soon bursting at the hinges, allowing me to fully hear Pierce crying while Frannie and Johnny come rushing into the room, squealing. 

"Hey, hey, hey!" I stop them before they can crawl under the bed. "What's goin' on?" I ask them, slowly hiding the Jack bottle in my bass case.

I spent last night freebasing and I'm still trying to coax myself down. 

Frannie looks at me with sharp green eyes, her brown hair knotty looking from wallowing on the living room carpet earlier...Johnny, brown eyes and red hair, just puts his attention on the pissed off Vivian that's stalking her way in here with the baby. 

"Um," Frannie starts, trying to think up her excuse. 

"Francesca and Johnathan tried to tote Pierce off again." Vivian states, eyeing the two toddlers with daggers, and they slowly sink down to try to use me as a human shield. 

"He's a new baby, Viv, they don't mean any harm. They just--"

"--Okay, well maybe if you put the bass down and actually come in here and help me out, you can supervise them while they 'hold' him, since I'm trying to start on dinner." She states. 

I glance at the kids and then at her…

"Or you can stare at me like an idiot, too." She mumbles, going to shut the door as she says, "You have no issue knocking me up but won't help me with them once they're out."

 I roll my jaw and grab my bottle of Jack, putting my bass back. 

What the fuck? 

If it wasn't for me writing songs, the band wouldn't have new material, which would mean no new album, which would mean no money--not enough to support her and three fuckings kids, anyway, so she should be thanking me for still wanting to provide for my fucking family. Because anybody else with three kids in two years would be putting a bullet through their skull. 

"C'mon, guys," I say to Frannie and Johnny, and they follow me out, Frannie reaching up to grab my hand. 

I put old cartoons on the TV while Viv puts Pierce down to sleep once he's drifted off. 

On her way out of the nursery, I'm stopping her in the hallway, my hand grasping her arm in a tight hold, roughly tugging her into the guest bathroom, cracking the door. 

I've got her against the counter, hand around her throat, gasping little breaths pushing past her lips for a moment as I say, "if you ever talk to me like that in front of my fucking kids again, I'll give you plenty to bitch about." I promise her, lowly, and she just looks up at me and nods. 

"Now turn around." I say next and she glances at the door. 

"Nikki, we don't have tim--"

"--They're watching TV. Turn around." I repeat and she grins a little, licking her lips and turns to face the mirror. 

I'm unzipping my pants, yanking her shorts down and pushing her panties to the side before grabbing a fist full of her hair and sliding it in, tilting my head back and grinning as she makes little whimpers in an attempt to keep from being loud. 

We've mastered the art of 'a good time in a short time,' and once we've both had our release, I'm zipping my pants back up, and she's still bent over the sink, hands white knuckling the edge of the counter, hair in her face, bite marks on her shoulders, cum down her shaking legs, trying to catch her breath.

I kiss the place between her shoulder blades, the back of her neck, her hair, my hand getting her hair from her face to look at her in the mirror.

She's looking at me with a little smile, right before, "I'm pregnant again," comes out and shatters my post-orgasm buzz. 

My knuckles sting as blood rolls down my fist, glass falling onto the counter, sink, and floor, when I drive my fist past her and into the mirror. 

She just hangs her head and I'm getting out, feeling the walls of the bathroom caving in on me. 

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Frannie asks as I grab my keys and my jacket. 

"Nothing, Frannie. Daddy's going out, alright?" I tell her. "When mommy gets in here give her a big hug." I add, seeing Johnny's too enthralled with Charlie Brown to notice I'm even leaving. 

I kiss her head and I'm out the door before Vivian gets out of the bathroom. 

I swear the only thing keeping us together is the fact that when divorce is an unspoken thought for either of us, she gets pregnant. 

I'm twenty-seven years old and I have a two year old, a one year old, a two month old, and now she's fucking knocked up again?!

How the hell is that even possible? Don't chicks need like six months for their bodies to reset after popping kids out or something? Jesus I married a PEZ dispenser with a never ending supply of eggs. 

By the time I get to where I'm going, I already regret it. 

Incense, crack fumes and perfume suffocate me as soon as she opens the door in her bra and panties. 

Not necessarily in a sexy way--more so in a higher than a kite and disheveled type of way. 

Which is perfectly fine with me because I don't need 'sexy' right now. I just need to get outta my head. 

Despite that, though, clothes come off, we end up on the living room floor, and instead of smoking a cigarette once we're finished, we opt for more erasure. 

"She's pregnant again." I confess to Tansy  out of nowhere after breathing out some smoke, my mind getting pushed aside, the crawling of my skin starting to settle. 

Blue eyes look at me as I hand it over before her greedy hands snatch it. 

"What?" She asks me. 

"Vivian's pregnant." I repeat. 

"I am, too." She says it so seriously that I look at her for a second, before seeing the very corner of her lips tug for a millisecond. 

"You're bullshitting me?" 

"I'm bullshitting you." She says, giggling, and 

I start ranting about it, my words getting more and more jumbled and lost the more hits of the pipe I take, until I'm not even worried about Vivian due to the paranoia that ensues. 

I get home at 5:00a.m….the day after the next. How low do I have to be to continuously go her best friend and my own moronic self pity? I don't know. 

I shut the door to the house and put my shit down, nearly tripping when I try to take my boots off. 

I'm on Halcions and Jack, and I think they're starting to kick in because I'm fucking exhausted. 

I glance at the living room scattered with toys and rub my face. 

I get it: "Mötley Crüe, don't give a fuck, fuck precautions, fuck all of it," but come on, man.

 How the hell could you be so fucking reckless?

I walk into our room, the lamp on Viv's night side table on while she's got one long leg out of the covers, laying on her stomach, arms under her pillow, the covers falling just enough to cover the tops of her thighs and her ass, her back and the side of her chest peeking out, exposed. 

She looks fucking beautiful.

Oh, yeah, that's how the hell I could be so reckless. 

I go rinse off in the shower for a second to try to wash away Tans and the drugs...maybe even guilt….

When I'm done, I peek out of the bathroom to see that she's still asleep, and I turn off her lamp and crawl into bed, closing my eyes for a moment. 

I feel her move closer to me before her lips are pressing to my cheek, hands running over my chest gently before she lays down, throws her leg over my stomach, and rests her cheek on my chest. 

"Are you still mad at me?" She questions softly, and I let out a breath.

"I'm mad at myself, Viv." I mumble. 

"Oh." She replies quietly. "I would get on birth control but it wouldn't react well with my Nardil."

"You mean the Nardil you aren't taking anyway?" 

She's silent. 

"Honestly at a point where I don't even want to have sex anymore because you're gonna end up getting pregnant." I add, gruffly. 

"Oh, come on, Nikki." She scoffs, not believing me. 

"I'm serious, Vivian. I'm tired of being a fucking baby mill." 

"Oh you're the baby mill? You just get your rocks off and I'm the one carrying the thing for nine months but you're the victim here?" 

She sits up and glares at me. 

"Yes! I am!" I argue. "You have this weird thing with cum that I've always thought was hot but now I'm starting to realize you're just trying to boulder me down." 

"Nikki, you've made it very clear that marriage and babies aren't bouldering you down. You still go out and party and do your drugs and your day drinking--you were just gone for over a day...so I don't want to hear, 'you're bouldering me down,' because I'm not. If you wanna leave, then leave." She snaps.

I roll my eyes and she goes back to her side of the bed and turns away from me, before she snatches all the covers away from me. 

I'm too tired for it so I just pass out. 

1987 

"Nikki!" Doc is banging away at my door, making me snarl to myself before capping my needle and hiding it under my pillow. 

"What?!" I bark out, going to the door. 

I swing it open, naked, aside from stained underwear, to see Vivian and my whole litter of kids.

"S-Surpise!" Viv tries to keep her tone light and cheery for the five kids around her, our brand new girls in her arms.  

I don't know how to react except to shut the door in their faces and angrily get my shit together. 

I'm out of the shower and dressed in the next hour, taking the smallest hit from the needle I hid, just as a maintenance dose, before I'm heading to Doc's room--where I'm assuming he took them when they realized I wasn't coming back out. 

I knock on the door and Viv opens it, looking up at me. 

"Suprise!" I mimic how she greeted me earlier, and she scowls at me and goes to slam the door in my face, but I'm stopping it with my hand and shoving it open. 

"Daddy!" Frannie, Johnny, and Pierce come running to me and I'm getting down and letting them attack me, wrapping my arms around them. Pierce is nearly two, now, and he's nearly as tall as Frannie. 

Dannie is walking cautiously to me, smiling at me and I meet him halfway and pick him up, kissing his cheek as I go over to the little babies Doc's supervising, one a replica of me, the other of Viv…

I lean down and kiss both of them, making them smile and kick their feet, excitedly. 

I wasn't there with them when they were born. 

I go over to Vivian, who's got her arms crossed, her jaw clenched.  

"Does Daddy get a kiss from Mommy, too?" I ask. 

"Daddy doesn't have to fuss at mommy for having more babies anytime soon because daddy isn't gonna get to be in the same bed as mommy for a long time." She replies. 

"Mommy seems to forget that the last three babies weren't even made in a bed." I reply. 

"Do you guys wanna few minutes alone? I can get Fred, Emi and Donna down here to help me." Doc offers and I look at him. 

"That's out of character and nice of you." I state suspiciously. 

"Despite you being an asshole, your kids aren't." He shrugs and I roll my eyes. 

I kiss all of them bye for a couple hours, and put Dannie down before tugging at Viv's hand once Fred and the girls get here...I see Donna and feel guilty…one of the chicks I cheated on my wife with is taking care of our kids…

When we get to a new room--mines so out of wack I don't want Viv to pass out--we do what we do best and in the aftermath, small talk in between breaks of making out, Vivian drops the ball. 

"I know you've been seeing her." She tells me out of nowhere when my lips press to her neck, quietly. 

My body tenses up. 

"What?" I sit up and she does, too. 

"There's no need to be shocked that I found out--we both know you wanted me to find out. Why the hell else would you leave letters you two write back and forth with each other, out in our closet where you know I'd find them?"

I just look at her. 

"You and Tansy, Nikki." She states, tears in her eyes. "Why the hell have you done this to me, Nikki? She's my best friend?" 

Is she serious? 

I get out of bed and pull my pants on, ignoring her. 

"I'm not shocked, you know, I always knew you'd be a deadbeat husband and a deadbeat dad, just like your father." 

I start clapping slowly, really appreciating her performance.

"Bravo, Vivian, really, you should get a fucking award for those tears." I state, fed up. "It's gotta be theatrics because what sense would it make for you to be genuinely upset I've been hooking up with Tansy, when you and Robbin have been seeing each other for two fucking years, now?!" 

Her eyes widen, she looks like a deer in headlights...which just confirms it all the more to me. 

"How fucked up do you have to be to cheat on your husband with his fucking brother, while pregnant with his fucking kid?" I ask and she takes heavy breaths, obviously trying to get her temper under control. "Not to mention that I'm starting to question if Dannie is even mine being as he looks nothing like me." 

She's slapping the piss out of me, tears streaming down her face. 

I rub at the stinging hot skin of my cheek and roll my jaw, staring at her a few seconds, before shoving her back to the bed, grabbing her shoulders, getting in her face while shouting, "you stupid fucking bitch, I fucking hate, you ruined my fucking life!" 

She's sobbing now, her head turned, mascara staining her cheeks as I push myself off of her and trudge to the door. 

"Cheating on me for two goddamn years, you fucking whore, who the hell do you think you are?! I can have kids with anybody, I can have anybody I want, but I fucking chose you and this is how you repay me?! Fuck you! There's a million fucking yous out there!" I throw a bottle at her and it misses by a couple inches and she sits up, trying to stand up as I open the door. 

"I'm getting my fucking kids away from you, you fucking crazy cunt!" I call and she's rushing out, wearing my t-shirt to cover herself up, grabbing my hand and yanking me to a halt before I can start to Doc's room. 

"You're not touching my kids, Nikki, I swear to God I'll fucking kill you, don't touch my fucking kids! You're fucking stoned!" She threatens me and I turn. 

"Oh, you'll kill me?!" I bow up at her and she punches me, her ring cutting my cheek, before she's hitting me again. 

She goes for a third time but I block her and shove her down, kicking her as hard as I can in the ribs, knocking the breath out of her. 

"Don't fucking touch me, you fucking slut." I smear the blood from my cheek, banging on Doc's door as she crawls a few feet before managing to pull herself up, resting against the wall, coming towards me. 

The door opens and I see Emi with Pierce in her arms. 

I don't say a word to her, I just grab him and smile at him, bouncing him a little, as I say, "Frannie, John, c'mon!" 

Of course they come, not realizing what's happening. 

Until Vivian's trying to pry Pierce from my hands. 

"Let go of my baby!" She screams at me, trying to bat me away from him while he starts whining. 

She hits me with her closed fist in my ear and I lose it, punching her so hard she hits the ground, Frannie and John immediately start crying upon seeing their mother bloody and dismayed.

The door opens more to reveal Doc as Emi looks at me, horrified, pulling John and Frannie back inside before Doc's snatching Pierce from me. 

"What the hell is going on?!" Doc shouts as guests peek their heads out of their doors. 

It's as if my demons give me the reins back and split, leaving me to look down at my beat up wife, crying, hearing my traumatized kids crying out behind the door. 

I just stumble back, my back hitting the wall before I'm sliding down it to the floor, staring off as Doc continues to yell at me...

...I blink, being pulled back to reality, staring down at the floor of Amber's office.

I'm not sure if we had kids by then, if Viv would have stayed or left. I'm not sure why I imagined I would've been with Tansy and not Vanity, why she would have had an affair with Robbin and not Duff...maybe I knew, subconsciously, that us having children at that time would have changed the way everything happened between us.

"I guess it was for the best." I reply to her, finally, looking at her. 

"Everything happens for a reason." She assures me. "There is a reason she didn't have any babies in the past four years." 

"Okay, wise one, is there any reason she isn't here today?" 

VIVIAN

"...Mom, and my brother Jon, my sister Carol, my brother Mark, my brother Bruce, my sister Joan, my other sister Claudia, and that's Matt--you know Matt," he glances at me and I nod, looking at the picture of the family, "And then there's me." He points to a toddler and I grin, looking at him. "My dad didn't wanna be in the picture, which I'm glad he wasn't because I would've cut him out if it, anyway when he left, so…" he shrugs, looking at it another moment. "Alright, let me show you to your room." He wiggles his brows and I giggle as he picks up my suitcase and leads me back down a hallway. 

"This is Joan's old room, obviously been redecorated because it's not covered in ABBA and Cher ." He mumbles. 

"I heard that!" Joan says from the living room. 

"No ya didn't!" He replies, smiling at me, putting my suitcase on the bed. "Everybody's coming over for dinner tonight so you have time to take a nap, get comfortable, whatever." He shrugs and I nod. 

"Okay." I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. 

"I'm gonna go help my mom and Joan start cooking." He adds. 

"I can hel--"

"--You didn't sleep at all on the way up here, Viv."

"Because I wasn't tired." I lie and he looks at me. 

"Take a nap." He tells me, moving the suitcase off of my bed. 

"Fine." I roll my eyes. 

"Love you." He leaves me, shutting the door and I get on the bed, getting comfortable, and wondering what Nikki's doing right now...he's probably shitting a brick. 

After an hour, the door is opening and Duff's squeezing my fuzzy sock covered feet, making me laughs and yank my legs away from him. 

I haven't slept, but I've rested enough that I don't feel as sluggish. 

"You stink." I wrinkle my nose when he lays beside me. 

"Onions." He replies. "Joan kicked me out for chasing her around with the raw chicken." He adds. 

"And now raw chicken juice is on my feet?" I ask. 

"No, I washed my hands." He assures me. 

"Okay." I chuckle, rubbing my lips together. 

"Who all's coming to dinner?" I ask, next. "Jon, Bruce, Claudia, and my buddy Andy." He informs me. "Matt's coming up to go out for breakfast with me, you, Andy, and Joan tomorrow morning, and later this week we're gonna have a barbecue and you'll get to meet everybody, including my nieces and nephews." He adds and I raise my brows. 

"That's a lot of people." I reply, raising my brows.

"Very big family." He agrees. 

"It's weird." I say next and he furrows his brows. "Not like that, just...I don't know I'm used to being the only child, no cousins, no aunts or uncles--well, aside from aunt Lily--Nikki's not real close to his family, so we just...we're not really big on family." I shrug. "Well, dad is, he's always wanted more kids and a big family, I think, but my mom didn't so he didn't press her about it since she was ultimately the one who'd be carrying them." I add. 

"Do you want anymore kids?" He asks me and I let out a breath. 

"I'm not sure…" I trail off. "...I'd like to, but I don't know. I haven't thought about it, much." I lie and he nods. 

"Do you want anymore kids?" I ask him. 

"I do at some point, I don't think Mandy wants to, though. She says being a step-mom at the age of twenty-five is enough." He tells me. 

"Maybe she'll change her mind." I say. 

"She didn't want any kids when we first dated, so I think the only reason she's even making leeway for a stepchild is because she loves me." 

"It says a lot about her if she's willing to do that, though. A lot of women would've left." 

"Yeah, she's cooler about it than I thought she'd be." He agrees. "What did Nikki do when you first told him?" 

"He cried." I admit. "Like, a lot." 

"That's understandable." He says lowly. 

"Yeah, it is." I nod. "He's okay with it, now, though. He's not mad at either of us. I think he's more upset with himself about the whole thing." 

It's quiet for a few minutes before I get up enough courage to ask him, "are you happy?" 

"What do you mean?"

"Like...you know...our break up, and then you and Mandy are engaged now and I'm pregnant…"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, no, I'm great, Viv." He assures me, sounding genuine. "I don't know, things are a mess and crazy right now but I feel like it's falling into place at the same time, you know?"

I nod, smiling softly…

…I bought it for that moment.

I realized he was lying to himself the next morning at breakfast when he told the waitress to bring him a screwdriver--a triple--and, "just keep 'em coming."

[misskasu]

Module 3: Blog Assignment 

Today’s digital media diary was slightly different from the one posted about two weeks ago. The first thing I usually do is check my Gmail from both accounts around 7 am. In a departure from my last post, before 7 am this morning, I decided to be brave enough to kill two birds with one stone and complete this blog assignment with extra credit.

5:20 am - Log into Canvas. And watched " In a Nutshell Zuboff: surveillance capitalism and Democracy on YouTube, " about a 17-minute video. After watching the video, I better understand how technology has shaped our lives. I also became aware of the potential hazards of data used in our society. I am now more conscious of the importance of data privacy, even if I have nothing to hide.

5:40 - 6:10 Read the article "Surveillance Capitalism: What It Is and How It Impacts Democracy" and created a mind map of surveillance capitalism. Started writing an essay on the topic. Developed a thesis statement. Researched more information about this topic. Checked the essay for errors. As part of the essay, I wrote a conclusion and submitted it.

6:10 - I posted the final result online on my Tumblr page.

6:26- Responded to Melissa Radojevic by mentioning that I was aware of the issue of data metrics, and posting at such a young age was a blessing. And since then, I have taken extra steps to protect my personal information. I have also been more conscious of my content. Further, I have taken the necessary steps to ensure that my accounts are private and that I only connect with people I trust.

7: 30- 8:15 AM After I shower, I always start my morning with maintenance. I check my email out as much in the spam and check in with all the clubs and my grandmother. I like to do wordle/digits from the New Times.  My Grandmother lives in Michigan, so she almost will Always do it before me and often gives me hints. But today, I finished before she did. I also cleaned out my spam from both email accounts and double-checked assignments from my other classes.

10:00 am to 12:30 — Pandora (in the background) 

I turn on Pandora working on while I work on today’s blog diary and take a look at the extra credit.   I turn on Pandora working on while I work on today’s blog diary and look at the extra credit.   I make sure to take breaks every 15 minutes to stretch and clear my head. I review the content I wrote and make any necessary changes.

At 12:30, I'm done with the line, almost done polishing, fixing, and editing grammatical mistakes along the image layout before I post on my Tumblr account.   

 

At 12:45, I'm done with the blog and publish it. I take a break to reward myself for a job well done. I grab leftovers for lunch and a cup of water before moving on to my next task with 3 episodes of Flash.

2:00 p.m. — Finished lunch break after watching 3 episodes of Netflix series (in this class, the Flash. No spoilers, please I am only on Season 2 Episode 13 I have binge watching prior to this post). After lunch, I felt energized and ready to finish the remaining tasks for the day. I then took a quick swim to get some fresh air and get back to work!

I finish up at 4:45 p.m. — Revising my to-do list for tomorrow. Some assignments take longer, especially if they are papers or essays with multiple responses to that one assignment. I try to ensure I'm done with the assignments requiring much more effort before I leave. That way, I don't have to worry about them the next day and can focus on the smaller tasks. If I need more time, I'll stay a bit later.

5:00 p.m. — I check my emails and respond to any urgent messages.

7:30 pm - 9:30 pm - I finish this assignment and prepare for tomorrow. Didn't have time to do my daily night reading. This is a screenshot of the song on Pandora as I am about to publish this on Tumblr (after I edit this, of course)

[xanderwithanx]

Chloe does night-time diary posts on HER tumblr, so I'm going to start doing them here, sometimes. It would be nice if you read it, but, please, don't feel obligated! This is more for me to write.

(I got tired of my normal journal, I guess. It's full of bad poetry anyway. Besides, where's the thrill of losing anonymity in a physical notebook?)

I've basically been asleep and depressed for several days, because I had withdrawal after not being able to get my adhd meds. But, I got it today, and DID THINGS. (This is SO much better than before!)

Today, I went to a small café or restaurant (focused on tea) called Alice's Teacup that was Alice in Wonderland themed! My long-standing obsession with Alice in Wonderland knows no bounds. It was a really cute place. I got pumpkin pancakes, and some really good iced tea. Like... REALLY good iced tea.

Still, it seemed like the entire place was geared towards having a pot of tea and snacks with your friends, which left me a bit lonely. The person I asked couldn't come, and by the time I heard back, I was more than halfway there. Still, I read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and watched Monty Python on my phone, so I still had a good time!

I dressed pretty eccentricly and effeminately all day, but, with my facial hair, I was ALWAYS coded as a man, even by people on the street! Pastels, a stupid hat, a crop top, and facial hair was a winning combination.

On my way, I was stopped by some guys soliciting for charity. I don't make a habit of stopping for strangers on the streets of Manhattan. What if it's a scam? What if I'm being pressured to buy something? What if it's a strange political rant? But, I had already taken my earbuds off, I wasn't in a hurry, and I'm terminally polite. The first guy said he liked my energy, which seemed to come from a genuine place, because I liked his too!

They were asking for donations for a breast cancer charity, the United Breast Cancer Foundation. After a discussion, it seems like the charity helps pay medical debt, medical bills, and other practical needs, which is much better than *some* others I could name. I regretted not being able to give their minimum there, as it was pretty high, but told them I'd give what I could when I got on the website.

I... did not. Money is tight, because I'm bad and irresponsible with money, even though this is more than a worthy cause. I didn't NEED to go to that tea place, and I don't NEED to spend so much money on food. Sure, I can justify it: I wanted to go to that place for so long, and it was near the college anyway! But, if I was responsible with money, you KNOW my friends direct fundraising drives would go first, worthy charities second. Still, I feel bad about it.

Then, I went to the college library, to get books to start my thesis research. I have literally been unable to go to the college itself, aside from getting my ID, so this was great! There just wasn't a reason. It was... very empty. I went to the library stacks, which was deathly quiet and deeply haunted by the old books. I half expected something to pop out at me, as I turned the stacks, but I wasn't even paranoid or anxious. It was like I was in something else's house. I was welcome, but on thin ice.

I picked up an irrelevant psychology book on the "schizophrenia problem" from the 1930s, out of morbid fascination, and quickly put it down when it threatened to shatter in my hands.

Some students walked past (which was a suprise in those monastic basement library stacks), and I added something to their conversation, in a totally natural and casual way. But, omg the poor girls, I made them jump! Luckily, I'm the least threatening person on earth, and we laughed it off.

After a lot of hunting, I got 5 out of my 10 books (for the most part)! (The rest are, sadly, online. I like to read physical copies.) Strangely, I only came in with a list to get 3 books out of 6.

Most of the books I got are about art in the AIDS crisis, which is the core of my thesis, I think, all with different value. One about exhibitions, one about the larger narrative of those gay artists, and another contradicting the larger narrative.

I also got a book about "Art and Homosexuality". Just, the parallel construction of both "art" and "homosexuality" across cultures and times, from earliest history to the modern age. It wasn't on my initial list, but I'm really excited to read it.

Finally, I got a book called "The Thief, the Cross and the Wheel", about the pain and spectacle of punishment in Medieval and Renaissance European art. I'm mainly interested in Italian Renaissance art of the crucifixion--and its masochism--for the second quarter of my thesis.

The rest are online, and Should mostly focus on Bacchus in the Italian Renaissance (especially through art) and what I call the art of "gay liberation", concurrent with the AIDS crisis (i.e. The Cockettes). These two topics make up the last half of my thesis.

I'm SO excited to get started!!

I even got to cross the college's sky-bridges! (The college is a few skyscrapers.) Still, the loneliness and novelty were kind of the same thought. Imagine if I had been here before COVID, or, if COVID hadn't happened. Who would I have been able to meet? What would the college buildings mean to me? Because, for now, they're just buildings. But, I got to see the street from above, and that was amazing!

Just walking through New York--the Upper East Side--on a cool, sunny day was beautiful. It takes 20-30 minutes to get from my place to the college (and the tea place), but it was great being able to listen to my music (a lot of They Might Be Giants on the playlist today) and see the city. You know, people, super cool old architecture being pushed out by terrible new architecture, and pigeons.

Oh my god, the pigeons. I took pictures, but none of them are good. I kept thinking about how pigeons and doves are functionally the same. We domesticated pigeons, which is why they're here, and no one is stopping to notice them? Even the ones that were splotched with pure white, like doves? There's only so many pigeons you can take until they're just white noise and a nuisance, I know, so don't think I'm blaming anyone! But it's so hard to look away from these quirky little birds.

Also, at one point my walk, I was vaping very strategicly. The mental task of searching through library stacks will do that to you, when you already have an addiction to nicotine. I made sure no one was around, and no one would be affected. I stopped on a corner next to an old, ornate Catholic church while the traffic light changed, and I almost juuled right next to a priest! I'm glad I stopped. I don't believe in Hell, but, I would have walked down there myself had I vaped at a priest. Still, the church advertised itself as LGBT+ friendly, so maybe they aren't so trigger happy on the damnation. Either way, I DIDN'T vape at a priest today, which is good.

Once I got back, I spent a few hours watching things with my amazing girlfriend Chloe, who you may know here as @cisphobiccommunistopinions. She is so beautiful, and I love her more every day, every time I see her. God, it's almost been 5 years!

I just wish I could spend more time with her. She's in Virginia, and I'm in New York. Like she said to me earlier, I'm flighty at the best of times, and, with my lack of object permanence for the digital world, I find myself not giving her the attention I deserve, or, the full connection I long to have with her. We used to live together. Luckily, someday we will live together again! All these problems won't be forever, and we can live together again.

We watched a lot of things, but we're pretty deep into Serial Experiments Lain right now. It's a postmodern anime from the 90s, and, wow, do I have no idea what's going on in it. It's about the internet, and potentially schizophrenia as well. However, I'm obsessed! One day I'll be able to crack this artistic code, and it's unreality, thematic knots, and double-meanings. I will probably understand it better on the second watch. I don't see myself in Lain, but I see my 14 year old self in her, when I had just developed schizophrenia. Her cyberpunk fate seems like it's railroaded towards tragedy, but I want to save her, even if it's silly and irrational.

I told Chloe that I was scared about spilling apple cider on my library books, and she referred to it as "The Great Apple Juice Disaster of September 11, 2021." To which I said that it was the second worst thing to happen in New York on that date. It was funnier if you were there, and also were in my brain at the time.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm meeting some online acquaintances from the college's "Queer Srudent Union" at a Japanese Culture Fair in a park. (I do not know which park.) It emphasizes "fun"! I don't know them very well, but they're friends with the one person I know irl, so it should be good.

Tomorrow night, I should Probably head downtown to check out a gallery show by MFA (masters of fine arts) students at Hunter! After all, I was in a group project with one of them, and they're absolutely brilliant. I missed the Thursday gallery opening by a landslide, because of the aforementioned lack of adhd meds and Being Asleep, which I infinitely regret. I could have listened to all the artists and curators talk about their art and exhibition! Maybe I could have even talked with the artists and curators. But, it's best for me to go sooner, rather than later, so I don't forget. And, I REALLY want to go.

It's "This dialogue which happened to be present in all other dialogues" at the Alyssa Davis Gallery. From the email I got, "Each of these works observes a threshold of transition. [...] [These] intimations [are] of a frame of mind shared by the artists. These works perform, record, access, engage, document, and entrap, embalming the viewer within the gallery space."

sgp is a really good artist, by the way. Their work is just next-level. Be sure to check out their art, if you have a chance. Let me link their portfolio: https://saragracepowell.com/

(I highly suspect spg and the other member of my group project ghosted me afterwards, but I understand. I was really in over my head. Still, they're both really sweet and kind people, don't get it twisted!)

I ALSO really want to see The Cake Boys. They're performing at the 3 Dollar Bill in Brooklyn on September 26th. (It's only $15!) They're the only all drag king collective in NYC! (Are... there any Other all drag king collectives out there?) Other than the fact that a lot of them are trans or nonbinary, which I love, this show is a totally non-judgmental competition for over 40 drag kings! I've heard their shows are hilarious and unique.

I just have to wait until I have $15 to spare. I... didn't eat dinner tonight, because I'm irresponsible with my money and don't want to ask my parents for money... again. Don't worry, it's literally fine, and I don't make a habit of doing this!

Which reminds me! For my birthday, my parents gave me a gift card to Lush! I'm definitely going to Lush tomorrow, which will be great. I would describe my personality as "Lush store employee acosting you about a bath bomb demonstration", so I'll fit right in.

I also made a transition timeline, to show how much I've changed on testosterone. For the better, I hope! I really believe I'm becoming, if not Have Become, the man I was always meant to be. It's so strange to look back at who I was not too long ago, and to know the absolute pain I was in. It's also strange, in a good way, to see the man looking back at me in the selfies. I'm so much happier now! Much more candid in my pictures, at least. But, I know that I'm so much more comfortable as myself than I was even 6 months ago. It's strange. Sometimes I think to myself, "I don't pass yet; I'm not who I Need To Be yet." Then, I look at my selfie from today, and... I'm THERE. My mind just hasn't caught up with my amazing, natural, normal reality.

The end. I have to get ready for bed, (even though I could be partying on a Saturday night in the city. I'm lame.) If you actually read this, I am kissing you on the mouth right now. I hope it made you calm down tonight, like a terrible bedtime story. If you didn't read it and just skipped to the end, don't worry: you did the rational thing.