#I'll be okay.

[sunny-lounge]

I'll be okay. (One-shot)

Relationship: Sami/Jey (SamiJey)

Rating: General — angst, emotional hurt, disappointment, self-doubt, comfort, understanding, hurt/comfort, happy ending, jey is hurting, he wants to hide away, sami finds him

Summary: Set right after Jey loses his WHC match at [01/25/25] SNME. He's alone in the locker room and he's spiralling. He's disappointed and sad and just in pain. He wants to hide, he just wants some peace. He feels like he has to deal with this crushing feeling all on his own. And then, Sami finds him…

Word count: 2,041

Ao3 link / *Other Fics*

A/N: I had an extra long break, so I had a hour to write, and I just had to, had to write something. This was just playing in my head for far too long and I had to get it out.

Even though I knew Jey wasn't going to win the WHC, it still hurt. So, this is sort of for my own comfort as well. I had a few more ideas, but this is the shortest one out of them all, and the only one I sort of had time to half-assed write. So it not quite as good as I'd have liked it to be, but it is something... So here it is. Enjoy! 🌸🌺

[— I'm not a "writer" —SO...Comments/Feedback would genuinely be appreciated. Obviously I'd really like to know if you enjoyed it - and comments are so wonderful and so motivating as well! 🩷 hit the like if you genuinely like it 😊 I'd love to know if it was any good. Thank you again for reading! 🩷]

Tagging: @afterdarkprincess @fantasyismyonlyrealescape @imabillyami - 🥰 - (if at all anyone wants to be tagged or untagged in my little fics, let me know!)

——

It is a cold, dark and somber January night, and Jey feels his legs beginning to shake. Not because of the physical exhaustion, but an all encompassing pain shooting right through him. It's not a physical pain but it cripples him for a second, a heavy crushing inner ache, deep within him paralizing him for a moment. 

Enough for him to stagger, catching himself just in time, feeling his mouth go dry and his eyes go blurry, squeezing them shut in an attempt to suppress the overwhelming pain starting to take over him. A pain so raw, he's afraid to move in case his whole world comes crumbling down along with himself right in the center of it.

For once he is grateful he is by himself. He knows Sami will be coming around soon, but at least he's got some time to try and gather himself before then. Time to get used to and absorb this new pain he's experiencing, to mask this new revelation that's hitting him so forcefully so no one will notice, especially not Sami. He can't show weakness. He needs to be strong. He can't let them—everyone down again—his family, his fans, him.

Jey takes a deep breath and slowly straightens himself out, his eyes on the mirror in front of him. It's far from a good view, he's expecting it so it's not too shocking. What is shocking, is how visible his sorrow is, it's etched so clearly on his face, right there for everybody to see. To make it worse he's still sweaty from his match against Gunther, drenching in sweat, rivulets running down his face and body, making him glisten and uncomfortable silently falling to the ground.

He frowns at himself pursuing his lips, contemplating on what he needs to do before Sami gets here. To get himself together, any sort of resemblance to being okay and put together. Because, he knows Sami will see right through him, Sami knows him too well. Apart from Jimmy, Sami knows him best.

Could he lie? Just play it off? He doubts it. Normally Sami might pretend he can't see something when Jey desperately tries to hide it, even if his family try and interfere, not Sami, he waits for Jey until he's ready to come to Sami himself. But, this time Jey doesn't think Sami is going to wait.

Not today, not after everything, after losing the World Heavyweight Championship. Again. And, the way Jey almost broke down in the ring in front of everyone, having Cody trying to comfort him.. He's thankful Cody tried but it hadn't helped, not after the first couple of seconds when he'd managed to gather himself together...those were not the arms he longed for at the time—the only arms that might give him some sort of solace, some relief, where not around him like he needed. He'd never admit it though.

It had felt wrong, just like it feels wrong now, the thought of lying to his Sami it leaves a sour taste in his mouth, he can't do that to Sami, and anyway his heart is protesting to this option too strongly.

Jey finally tears his eyes away from the sickening image in front of him, away from the person that is being reflected in the mirror, the state he is currently in, trying to purge the image from his brain.

He knows not telling anyone about his pain is bad, bad for himself and for the people closest to him. But, just the thought of disappointing them makes him want to throw up, and he feels like he already has, his mind running in circles at all the possibilities, at all the reactions and disgust he will get. The pain is growing and growing, spreading with every thought he conjures up, he turns his body fully away from the mirror, face scrunching up and breath hitching.

He then hears his his phone ringing, loudly, at the other side of the room and he immediately knows that it is Sami, wanting to know where he is so that he can come to him. And, normally Jey would jump to answer it counting down the minutes that he would be able to see Sami. But, not today, today he feels the dread increasingly spreading with every ring, every silent second before he hears the next sound of a ring.. Jey just wants silence right now, peaceful, restful silence but Sami is persistent, until it eventually stops.

Finally, silence.

Jey releases a breath he doesn't realize he's been holding, closing his eyes for just a second, taking in this rare moment of silence. And, then it begins again, the thoughts. He starts counting the number of times he's lost a match for the World Heavyweight Championship, feeling sick again at the mere thought of it, shivering as the fear of being a constant failure sweeps over him and washes over him like a tsunami, once again he feels like he's drowning.

He feels like he's always falling short, he feels it in his bones, he feels the pressure to succeed, to show everyone and the company that they can count on him, they can bet on him, that he can flourish, become even better and even greater.

But he keeps failing, over and over again. He feels tears prickling at the back of his eyes, threatening to slowly blur his vision and fall out, all over his cheeks adding to his pathetic looking face right now. But, Jey holds himself in check, holding his deeper, fragile and more vulnerable emotions back like he's so used to—used to dealing with them on his own.

Worrying Sami and the rest of his family is a not an option and he won't, he's determined that he can overcome this on his own, just like he always does, he can take care of himself without them. They have their own problems, their own lives, their own things to do and worry about, they don't need to be burdened by him. He will pull through, he will, just like he always does. He'll start right this second. He has to.

If not for the sudden intrusion into the locker room, Sami is standing at the now opened door wide-eyed big and beautiful, breathing heavily a little out of breath. Like he's run all the way here, all the way to Jey.

'Oh he's seen me,' thinks Jey, blinking away his phantom tears and turning away avoiding Sami's eyes altogether, he wants to disappear.

He'd been so lost in thought that he's been completely unaware of how much time has passed. 'I should've picked up the phone,' thinks Jey, embarrassed that Sami has caught him like this.

"Jey?" sounds Sami, gently, so gently that Jey can't help looking back at him, he can't resist.

He feels like someone has punched him in the gut when he sees the worry displayed on Sami's face, he's the reason for it. He put it there and he hates it. Just because he feels like shit, there's no reason for Sami to feel that way too.

"Jey?" prods Sami again.

Jey still cannot answer him. Even as his eyes are stuck on the other man as he starts moving closer towards him, till he's no more than a few inches away. Sami reaches out with both hands and cups his face with a gentleness like only Sami can, brushing his thumbs over his cheeks and that's when Jey feels it, feels wet tears rolling down his cheeks, now blurring his sight a little and he gasps in surprise.

He didn't realize he is crying, his body reacting on it's own accord, the warm hands that had been placed on him shaking him on the inside, triggering his walls to crumble completely, making him breakdown. Jey shakily reaches up and places his own hand over a hand that is already on his face, tilting his head and closing his eyes pressing his cheek even more into the warm palm while he allows his tears to roll down freely, soft gasps leaving his mouth.

He let's himself be pulled into Sami's broad chest falling against him and he already feels a huge heaviness being lifted, he feels lighter like Sami is carrying some this weight that's been crushing him, and he can finally breathe again.

The warmth he meets is overwhelming as well as the sound of Sami's beating heart like a soothing balm over his freshly acquired wounds. He is so grateful for this feeling of security, of assurance, of calm, of strength, and of comfort. All just from a few seconds of being in Sami's arms. Nothing like the fleeting sympathy he felt when Cody's arms had been around him.

"Hey." whispers Sami, softly against his hair and Jey curses himself for moving even closer into Sami, his tears wetting the other man's shirt. Sami shouldn't have to deal with him.

But, he can't help wanting to stay like this forever, close to his Sami without a worry, protectively being held so closely, but he knows that it's all just a dream wanting this forever. 

How can he ever be so selfish, so entitled and greedy, wanting to monopolize all of Sami's attention? Selfishly wishing that if only he could stop all of this and just run away with Sami, that would stop all this disappoint and heartache he keeps falling into, right? What would he do then though? This is all he knows, nothing else, it's always been wrestling. He was born for this. And, he fears that day, the day when he can no longer do what he loves, or when he loses his will to go on, when it eventually ends. He's starting to spiral again.

His hands start clawing at Sami's clothes, trying to anchor himself pulling Sami in even tighter and by now Jey is sure that Sami already knows exactly what is going on. He flinches when he feels Sami start to pull away, and he's trying grabbing at him again, clutching at him.

"Hey, hey, I'm not going anywhere, Jey. I just wanted to look at your beautiful face for a second," hums Sami, soothingly into his ear.

"Don't leave me." Jey whispers back, a breathlessly, so quietly he thinks his own heartbeat is louder. And he's too scared right now to be embarrassed about how desperate he looks and how pathetic he sounds.

Sami must've had heard him, he must have because he receives a kiss on the head before Sami's nuzzling his hair. Jey let's out a pained whine, and a half sob as he turns into Sami, hiding his face in him wanting to never leave this, afraid to see Sami's reaction, what he thinks about how weak and pathetic Jey is right now, not the strong brash Jey he's normally used to—what he's expected to always be.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I already told you I'm not going anywhere," says Sami, calmly but Jey can hear the slight wavering in it.

"I won't ever leave you, Jey. Not unless you tell me to, not unless you really mean it." And, Jey realizes the wavering in Sami's voice is because Sami is so full of passion and emotion, and not because Sami is having second thoughts, wanting to leave him. 

Then he is being pushed away gently slightly, and even though Jey still has a hold on his shirt, Sami takes the tiniest step back and looks directly at Jey. "It's because of tonight, right? That's what's got you so upset. More than it normally does. But it's okay, because I've got you. I've always got you."

It's like a shot right through his heart, Jey was right, Sami does know, he knows and he's hit the nail on the head, he understands Jey and he still wants to remain by Jey's side. The fear he feels is slowly but surely fading, because he knows he's always got someone on his side, someone who understands him. Someone who supports him, cares for him and strengthens him, comforts him and holds him, giving him exactly what he needs. His equal, his partner. Someone who loves him.

——

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it 🩷

[wardenswateringhole]

Talk about an AU with a friend on discord. Suddenly someone posts something extremely similar two days later. Someone that had nothing to do with the conversation. Now I'm irrationally annoyed. I can't post any artwork I was planning because it'll be like "Oh so you're taking inspiration from that person!"

Not gonna point fingers. Just needed to vent. Gonna go chill with some palworld.

[anoptimisticadventurer]

I'm so sad. Everything feels like it's caving in and all I want to do is cry so I can navigate through these emotions, but I don't know how to tell my friends and those close to me that if they see me being quiet, crying or if I look like I was crying that it's okay. I'm okay. I'm just a little overwhelmed and allowing myself to feel those emotions helps me move on.

How do I tell them? "I'm okay." ?

[yakulmybestfriend]

allowing myself to be young and stupid. allowing myself to feel things, not just move past them. allowing myself to be a little carefree. to make mistakes. to fix mistakes. to be here.

[strxnged]

throwing up i move tomorrow

[panoramaaa]

Everyone else can go. As long as you're with me, I'll be okay.

[orcelito]

🙂👍

[sunshineofbts]

Mood.....

Back soon.

[valmillion]

i feel like one of the worst aspects of my personality is the need to have people believe I'm important, that i have connections with important/cool people, to the point where i tell a lot of little white lies, even to myself. i tell myself that I'm a part of some inner circle of internet people, which is, i guess, sorta true in some ways. i have a lot of actual friends who do awesome stuff but i tend to overstate my "reach", i guess. i don't feel notable in these circles, I'm not a centerpoint, im just a peripheral thread, an orbiter.

I'm a part of so many different friend groups without feeling like i truly belong in any of them (partially because I can't stand being in voice calls and i only want to play multiplayer games by myself)

i brag about being mutuals with "micro celebrities" whom I've never actually talked with (i tell myself that they don't really want to talk to me, and even if they did, what the hell would i say? they don't have room for another friend. may as well not bother.)

i know some lovely mutuals are gonna tell me that it's okay, that i should just be myself and that it's fine to not be the center of attention. i love you guys. I'm just venting. this is just something i needed to get out there.

i think this is something i get from my family. my nonno knew everybody, made friends with so many people, everyone gathered at his house. i wish i could be that. i want to be someone that's desirable to be around. i want to feel wanted. i hate being the first one to reach out. i dont know how to do that. i don't know if i can ever be that. it's hard to explain. i don't feel lonely, i know i have friends who love me. i dunno. i guess i wanna be like my nonno, a soft spoken, good listener, who was kind and helped people, who people wanted to be around. trust me, if you met me in real life, that's who i am.

come over, I'll cook for you. we'll talk, have coffee, smoke weed, watch a movie, whatever. I won't invite you, just come knock on my door and I'll be happy to let you in.

[some-pers0n]

Minecraft movie trailer dropped this thing looks awful my skin itches just looking at these things

[snarkspawn]

did I doodle this mostly so I had an excuse to draw this spite reaction image?

(YES HAHAHA YES!!!)

[wardenswateringhole]

So the powers that be have deemed my neighborhood unworthy of Halloween. It's raining all day tomorrow and the temp is dropping to below freezing.

Perfect weather for getting blood drawn though.

We're gonna stuff the child with candy while I rest.

My body is fighting against me again so I'm gonna take it easy for a bit and just focus on getting the sticker sheets done. I have two sheets to finish up and I'm waiting on mailing supplies.

Apparently getting envelopes takes nothing short of an act of divinity around here.

In the meantime, everyone please enjoy your halloween. Eat lots of candy and have fun in costume.

I'll be back soon.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

[herbarimoon]

The brightness of the Sun will give me just enough

To bury my love in the Moondust

[xinyuehui]

△ THEY ARE THE OPTIMAL WEAPON FOR DESTROYING ONE ANOTHER. * THIS EXPERIMENT IS NEVER TO BE RESTARTED