#I'd like to watch you sleeping

[ajeournal]

Orang gila mana yang ingin tinggal di belakang gigi?

Orang yang sedang jatuh cinta. Dari sekian banyak tempat, seperti gunung, pantai, taman, atau lapangan sepak bola, Sal justru memikirkan gigi sebagai tempat yang ingin ditinggalinya. Perwujudan makna cinta memang merubah segala hal yang tak mungkin menjadi mungkin saja.

Konyol, tapi lucu juga. Terbayang ketika kau sudah mendengkur dan menganga. Lalu terbersit, apa aku tinggal di belakang giginya saja ya. Sebab, berada di dekatnya adalah hal yang paling ku suka. *Hmmm, tapi gak di belakang gigi juga gak sih😭

Kau terpejam, sedang aku terjaga sepanjang malam. Kau larut dalam mimpi, sedang aku merasa sunyi. Kuceritakan semuanya, sedang kau menjawab dengan dengkuran sambil menggaruk pipi.

Kadang aku penasaran, apa yang sedang kau lakukan di alam mimpi. Apakah bermain awan, berenang di dasar samudera, atau malah memandangiku yang sedang terlelap? Tapi aku lebih suka jika bisa menjelajah alam mimpi berdua. Lalu menjadi bulir hujan yang paling diharapkan setelah kemarau panjang. Turun ke bumi menyirami hutan-hutan raksasa dan tanaman-tanaman hingga tumbuh kembang.

Hiduplah terus, ada terus, sampai seribu tahun lagi. Seperti tokoh kartun di televisi.

.

[screwpinecaprice]

Oh oof I slipped and hit them with dark and serious beam. 😣

[crimeronan]

ultimately i think the appeal of daniel and armand to me is that it's very much a typical dark romance storyline where the heroine is kidnapped and tortured by an evil monster but using her wits she manages to seduce him and make him emotionally vulnerable to her, because she is More Special and More Clever than all of his other victims, and because of this she enjoys a level of dangerous favor and protection from him, except in This version of the dark romance it's two toxic old men who both have the worst fucking personalities imaginable. who truly just fucking suck beyond measure. like no pun intended, they are Garbage, one is the actual literal immortal devil and the other is just kind of a deadbeat with no moral compass, neither of them is willing to work on himself and neither of them has ANY reason to want to rail the other as bad as they do.

and yet. There They Are,

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Okay, I have decided that this section about the philosophy of religion is funny like...

They're defining judaism as one of the west's Largest Religions, and then this entire section is all presupposing that the g-d you're debating about is the xtian god like... I get that we're discussing mostly xtian philosophers but... I don't believe in a hell that g-d would send me to if I didn't believe in Him, and this entire text presupposes that things like hell are real. What's funny about it is just universalizing xtian belief and philosophy about g-d as though jews for example would feel compelled by the arguments. I'm feeling so uncompelled by these arguments and I'm a theist 😭

What's funny is the fact that judaism (and islam!) were presented as Major Western Religions but only one islamic philosopher was discussed and there is no mention of anything other than xtianity.

[shortqueershakespeare]

sometimes i think that my sadness and grief and frankly anger about being single is about how fucked up that last relationship was, like i'm coming to terms with things in life and trying to be realistic with the fact that i might never be in another relationship even thought i want to be and that's okay! but i think the reason it cuts so deep is because if that does end up being true, i will be absolutely heartbroken that my last love was such a disaster and broke me in so many new ways adn he didn't even have the decency to admit that it was a relationship until he had to confront his own grief over losing it

[heavywoolcoat]

[rogueshadeaux]

Slllliiiiiides over here. Hi hello. I don't think I'll do a bad karma run (IM SORRY. IM SORRY!!) cause a) I'm a wimp and b) I need to get off videogames as soon as I'm done cause I've spent too much time playing lately lmao BUT I will be watching playthrougs cause I gotta know how fucked up he gets.... I gotta know...

To clarify i have a pre existing oc from a story that could be very easily flung into a vat of "au juice" because she's already halfway there in her own cannon LMAO we shall see, for now I have a huge list of things I want to draw for this game so I gotta finish 2 before I explode then I can unleash myself on art again. Gotta feed the discord now. I'm cooking for a crowd.

hi i've been dead for 8 days and recuperating for two lol I understand life stuff (and saw some references to it on your timeline, like the warhammer stuff and the tarot card thing??? bro that shit looks so good!!) as someone that literally shared your stuff and then got ripped away for my own life happenings lmfao. But if you get the chance in the future? Seriously, try an evil karma inF2 run. There's something about how they balanced the story that puts its predecessor AND sequel to shame. They're the same story, but different tales. They have the same goal, but different goalposts. SPP gives you a well-thought-out storyline that both is cohesive, but feels like your choices actually matter. It has none of the "I can help this old lady...or kick her fucking dog lol" of inFAMOUS 1, or the "I will fight for the tribe but literally do everything wrong. everywhere. because I'm a Bad Boy™" of inFAMOUS: Second Son. The choices feel real. They feel sound. They feel like the choices a man wronged by the world would make, if he decided to turn to his harbored resentment instead of his morality. And let's be honest, Cole also feels more morally gray in inF2 than 1 anyways, so seeing the path he takes is great because it genuinely feels like he's done with the accumulation of every shitty situation that has happened to him. And I'm sure you know how the story ends now, so...don't you wanna see what happens if he chose the other option? (pls tell me you haven't watched the playthrough yet lmfao)

Anyways yeah no I totally get life shit, it loves to pull you away from stuff, and also as someone only just now trying to do the bad options in Detroit: Become Human despite getting the game at launch because I need 6 years of preparation to be the bad guy, I understand the wimp bit too. It's hard to be mean sometimes. But with Cole's inF2 story, it doesn't feel mean. It feels like a desperate man, trying to fight for a future he's not convinced cares about him.

And yes oh my god please keep creating lmfao we all love your art so goddamn much. Don't leave this fandom you're now a very important asset. And it's always a good thing, throwing old friends into new situations! I love an OC in a wardrobe change. That's usually the best translation. Think a bit harder about forcing that OC into a new role. Shove her ass onto the stage. We'd all love her.

[softdreamlesssleep]

God, "I missed you" sex is the best

[vv-ispy]

If decarabian was a gamer he would have the most decked out setup imaginable. 2000+ dollar custom keyboard where nearly everything but the internal components are made of solid gold. Top-of-the-line pc entirely encased in various ornately decorated gemstones. He would have at least five monitors (bonus points if they also double as surveillance monitors.) His gaming chair would in fact be a literal throne. At times he thinks that video game logic must surely apply to real life mortal human logic as well and vastly overestimates how durable most humans are.

Someone save her

[it-begins-with-rain]

Halloween Recommendation: Stephen King's Rose Red

** This one can be tricky to find. It was originally released as a 3 night mini-series in 2002, but then re-released as a motion picture. Apparently Hulu has it?

In 1906, oil barron John Rimbauer built a veritable palace overlooking Seattle. It was his young bride, Ellen, who would give the house it's name: Rose Red.

First blood was drawn before the foundation was even laid. A foreman, murdered over a simple argument. Bizarre deaths and mysterious disappearances plagued Rose Red, swallowing up the Rimbauer family, their servants, friends, and anyone who dared enter.

Eventually, the grand estate fell into disrepair. Paranormal investigators descended upon the property, but none were ever able to solve the mystery, nor stop the deaths.

Now, more than 90 years after the first deaths at Rose Red, Steven Rimbauer, the last living descendant of John and Ellen Rimbauer, has been offered massive sums of money to sell Rose Red. It will be totally leveled, the land used for condos.

Before the house is destroyed, Steven agrees to let Dr. Joyce Reardon and a cobbled-together team of psychics, mediums, and other paranormal investigators do one final sweep of the house.

What evil lurks within Rose Red?

What horrors did John and Ellen Rimbauer summon in their palatial estate- or were they victims themselves?

Why does Rose Red kill the men, but swallow the souls of the women and force them to haunt it's halls?

How many of Dr. Joyce Reardon's team can escape with their lives?

*** Stephen King wrote the screenplay for this story, but there is no novel. Instead, as part of the publicity and hype leading up to the miniseries premiere, "The Diary of Ellen Rimbauer" was published, serving as a prequel. You can buy the novel on Kindle.

[crescentfool]

WHATS UR FAVORITE RYOMINA MOMENT FROM THE MOVIES I NEED TO KNOW!!!

HI FELIX!! thank you for the ask i am always happy to take more opportunities to talk about ryomina they are so special to me o7

it is VERY tempting for me to answer, "every fucking time ryoji showed up on screen!" ok this might be an exaggeration, i like 90% of his screentime, december 2nd ryoji should've been portrayed more like a pathetic wet dog imo but i digress. but hm... favorite moment.

while the helper's club montage has a very strong place in my heart (it permeated my braincells without my permission)!! i think my favorite part of ryomina's portrayal in the movies is the whole sentence finishing thing they got going on. i feel like that's a cop out answer but like.

there is something so so gut wrenching to me about how they start off by making it so that ryoji is the one finishing minato's sentences. always ryoji. BUT THEN!!! when they meet again at the top of tartarus to do battle on judgment day!! they turn it on it's head!! and it's minato!! who finishes the sentence!! and fuck man does it make me feel like i'm being kicked down a staircase.

and to have the sentence finishing happen again for such an important day?? god idk im gonna tear up and someone needs to like. give me like. a chew toy or something this makes me so fucking insane (blows up) (blows up).

so basically my favorite moment is really like, january 31st, but a lot of my attachment to it is BECAUSE they have that set-up in november with ryoji being the silliest fucking guy to have ever walked at gekkoukan. and oh man oh man the fucking. THE. when. WHEN THEY FOLLOW IT UP WITH MINATO SUMMONING THANATOS AFTER THIS?? yeah man. that's the fucking shit.

like i don't think the english language is enough to convey how much i love the artistic choice to have the flash frame of ryoji when minato summons thanatos. it's the hesitation and rebellion babey!!! the whole scene afterwards is so fucking juicy as well.

honorable mention to when ryoji jumped off the fucking roof at iwatodai station to tell minato that he has kindness in his eyes and that he doesn't like seeing him alone. what kind of guy does that. that's so fucking hilarious to me like actually. he was insane for that.

anyway that is my answer i HOPE u enjoyed reading it, god, ryomina still makes me eyes watery (it's been almost 2 years since i've met them??? what the fuck). i feel like others have echoed this sentiment before but nevertheless i was super happy to type it out :D

[batsplat]

holgieee... *head in hands* i don't have anything to contribute but i remember the brief period when he was considered a better prospect than sinner (remember when he won paris masters by beating 50 billion top 10 players? was it 2022? rlly feels like it happened 50 yrs ago... anyways and then he made 2 masters finals back to back(?) like crazy stuff rlly) and ofc there was the also just as briefly the whole new big 3 marketing thing w/ him, alcaraz and sinner because this sport has an unhealthy obsession w/ the number 3 for whatever reason. And ofc as the easily influenced person i am i was fully convinced by the marketing, like this is the future + i can't end up hating all the dominating players like i did w/ the actual big 3 so i shld invest!! then ofc i invested in the flop one... oops. joining u in the failed glory hunter box ig.

also random unrelated dasha fan anecdote but i remember i was trying to defend her play-style once (unfortunately a common occurrence) and somehow at one point one of my arguments was smthing like well maybe some of us enjoy watching double faults at 130 km/h.. anyways love my double fault king and queen.

anyways as always i love your tennis posts (and motogp posts too ofc) so much because sometimes i'm srsly like why do i watch tennis? like watching sports is a choice! its supposed to fun! so why am i constantly screaming, crying throwing up over tennis when i cld just stick to recreationally playing it poorly and have a much less stressful time? but reading your posts about the uniqueness of tennis as a sport, the rivalries, the psychological drama of it all im just like yeah.. yeah! thats why i choose to watch tennis and suffer. anyways all this is to say is although i ofc love all your posts (reading ur revolutionary girl utena posts, nodding and being like i rlly need to start that show... its been on my to watch list for yrs but my inability to start a new show-itis also hit at arnd the same time soo oops.. but also ur posts abt it are so good and i rlly need to get arnd to watching it..), i get especially excited when i see a tennis post because the way you can somehow eloquently put all the feelings i have abt it into words, so much so i just start nodding like a bobblehead every time i read one of them.

anyways this was supposed to be a short holger commiseration ask, idk how it got so wordy... srry abt that lol

no no pls never apologise. apart from anything else idt I could ever reasonably accuse anyone else of being wordy

yeah that 2022 paris run was life changing... I need to go back and watch some of the matches actually, the wawrinka win was deeply deeply satisfying and yeah then all the top ten wins... the djokovic match in particular. incredible. just felt like until around 2023 rg he had all the momentum going his way. I've actually been a long time sinner believer in that I always thought he'd Make It, which unfortunately is a belief that has aged extremely well. with rune I just kinda looked at the game and figured that besides a nasty cramping habit, it was kind of too good to not come off? I kinda feel like with many of the nextgen players who have ended up not being what they were billed as, you can point to something quite firm that's just *off* about their game. zverev for instance you kinda knew even around 2019-20-ish that the forehand really wasn't what it was supposed to be... I just think with men's tennis unfortunately it's so optimised by now that if you have any major technical deficiency, it will come to get you. obviously there's still variance with the playstyles at the top but you kinda need your bread and butter stuff - forehand has to be a weapon (zverev), backhand can't be a major weakness (berrettini, faa, tsitsipas), serve needs to be giving you enough free points and the second serve can't be a liability (rublev), and quite frankly your return has to be elite (all of the above bar zverev). also your movement needs to not suck (fritz). obviously medvedev is in a bit of a weird zone on his own where he's arguably Made It but also not made it in that way, and you could say that he himself falls short in several of these categories... but that was always his magic, right

and my thing is with rune I STILL think he does have all the fundamentals in place. there's nothing *technically* off about the serve or return, the backhand's a thing of beauty and the forehand... well, it's not bad enough you feel that it should be terminal. in 2022 and early 2023, it felt like he had so much to his game that if anything he had too many options and hadn't really figured out what kind of player he needed to be to win. I still remember that rome 2023 final with med so clearly where you could see quite visibly and drastically how he completely reshuffled his playstyle every few games upon receiving coaching - and it was such a radical shift that it must have been really tricky to play against. and he was getting a lot out of his tactics to just hang in points for as long as he could!! especially obviously against an opponent not renowned for generating his own pace, in particular on sluggish clay. that day, he didn't have the legs to fight it out... but it also still felt he had that Magic Touch about him. that ineffable factor that allows you to take all those top ten wins in a row in a masters, that odd extra something that makes it feel stupid to bet against a player until they're actually down and out. that belief you have with the big three or sinner/alcaraz that they just will find SOME way to win a match, even when they have no right to. and I suppose my belief in that should have already been fraying given he'd lost two tight matches to rublev at ao/monte carlo but. well. idk you could still blame the legs, still conclude it wasn't THAT consequential a loss

and he did have that magic touch!! him plus medvedev were basically the only show in town in men's tennis for the clay season pre-roland garros that year. rune's match against sinner at monte carlo (take me backkkk), that crazy one against bvdz in the munich final, the loss to foki in madrid with the 'personally I have nothing against the spanish people' thing, that crazy djokovic match in rome, the crazy ruud match, the medvedev match... idk there was just something so FUN about that, this guy who clearly is extremely talented but also an incredibly obnoxious brat who keeps getting involved in these stupid matches involving stupid drama... it was fantastic! ultimately the most depressing way you can look at it is that he's too interesting for current men's tennis. he's not got the discipline on the court and then he keeps having endless endless coaching drama off it... his head isn't on straight enough for this sport, and also he's not been treating his body well enough. unfortunately, this might just be the sport of the sinner's of this world... extremely disciplined, hard-working, unemotional, robotic. lacking in personality. not interested in much outside of the sport. no angst. quasi-disinterested, which is how I'd also describe myself with him at the top of the sport

anyway yeah! tennis! tbh I've massively disinvested myself in men's tennis since the start of the year - I actually think that sinner quote about sitting in the aeroplane back from ao and thinking about what he could have done better in the first two sets of the final kinda helped because it just definitively broke something in me - but obviously I'll never stop following it entirely. and women's tennis has been amazing for me this year because the girlies who could give me med-level anxiety have completely fallen off the radar with injuries, so I've just been able to enjoy the top level of the sport in like. a partisan way but not painfully heartbreakingly so. and I do think it's a special sport!! and I mean... thank god it's possible for players like dasha to actually have a high level career in wta tennis, like man what if I want to watch ultra-pushers without a serve do well. what then. it'll always be MY sport in the way nothing else is. I wish that the actual current sport, the current professional state of affairs, would give me more to work with... but in terms of raw potential, I really do think there's nothing that's quite like it. I wasn't ever planning on talking about tennis on here... I mean god knows, I wasn't even really planning on talking about motogp on here, one thing just sort of led to the other. I have like... extremely extensive notes and essentially essays in my notes about some of these things stretching years and years back, which at most have in the past been at times shared with friends or put in extremely condensed form on twitter. it's cool to have gotten a small audience with this stuff!! I'm a big believer in sport being Not That Serious but also kind of extremely serious and a fun and worthy subject of analysis. maybe one day I'll be able to dfw this stuff and shoehorn it into more serious work, or maybe I'll just continue putting it on tumblr dot com

[youarentamaybeyoureayes]

I'll never understand why people act like the first season of HSMTMTS is or should be deemed the best?

Don't get me wrong, it's totally fine to have a sense of nostalgia because you might recall season 1 being the first time you fell in love with the show or you're reminiscing about what drew you into it in the first place, but most arguments about season 1 never involve talking about any aspects of the show other than the fact that it ended with the R*ni love confession, and it makes it difficult for me to believe that there's any other reasons why you deem the season so superior to the others.

When you remove the nostalgia blinders, season 1 only gives a semblance of justice to a tiny amount of characters. Ricky and Nini get the most attention devoted to them, but whether it's because of the writing or simply the fact that she's the best actress on the show who's also capable of elevating any material that's given to her, it's Gina personally that stands out to me this season. Yet while it was airing, she was getting harassment from R*nis who were ignoring the obvious issues in their relationship to take all of their anger out on Gina. This would go on to happen for two more seasons.

Everyone other than Ricky, Nini, Gina, and maybe EJ, gets abandoned or shoehorned into things that age in a horrific way. I would argue that Kourtney's character suffers the most this season, and it was actually jarring seeing someone as vocally talented as Dara Reneé play a character that wasn't initially a singer. She wasn't even supposed to have a role on the show that lasted beyond two episodes, and yet she has one of the strongest, if not the strongest voice in the entire cast. For a show that was meant to revolve around theater kids, that alone was unrealistic and as a black woman, I can't ignore how colorism played a role in that. No one with a voice like that would have been given a supporting position if they were nonblack. Somehow the likes of M*tt C*rnett were given more solos on the show, and he is easily the worst male "vocalist" of the cast.

I won't even get into the fact that other than Gina, EJ was one of the most hated characters that season singlehandedly for getting in the way of R*ni, yet once the chances of R*ni making it to endgame status were getting increasingly lower, everyone decided that he was their favorite person and became P*rtwells. Not because they saw potential in anything (we all know one of the biggest plot points of season 1 was Rina getting closer, no matter how many people want to ignore it) but because they hated the idea of any character involved in R*ni being happy with someone who wasn't a part of their ship. Because I'm saving that for a later conversation.

The point is, like every season, season 1 had more flaws than most of the fandom wants to acknowledge, especially in the characterization of the ensemble cast, which was never the right move for a show that would not be as strong without their ensemble. Nostalgia as well as the plague of real life shipping has made people believe that this season was somehow unbeatable, when I would even argue that at the show's absolute worst in season 2 we would already see the improvements and corrections that season 1 failed to expand on. Such as giving underutilized characters like Kourtney and Carlos more depth by introducing their storylines with dealing with self doubt and acceptance.

I've always said that the episode that really made me stick with the show was episode 5 of season 1, and it isn't just because I'm an avid Rina. One of my favorite parts of the episode will always be the Born to Be Brave group number. Seeing Carlos start off dancing by himself and then Ashlyn going up to join him was one of the first moments of the show where I noticed just how strong the ensemble was and just how much heart they all brought to the show.

One love confession that didn't even manage to end up being the best love confession on the show is not what made the show what it is now. Delusional nostalgia is trying to tell you that despite other seasons allowing characters who were overdue in getting their own storylines finally have their moments to shine, nothing will ever amount to season 1 because of what you shipped. Season 1 didn't even deal with their deepest subjects. In retrospect, the entire season was essentially like a trial run. Even the first 4 episodes were written by a different show runner. The entire thing was an experiment. And while it was a good start and while I do understand why it's a season that's so loved, I just wish more people would unpack the reasons why they loved it and stopped dismissing the fact that there were seasons that did things better, even if your nostalgia is trying to tell you otherwise.

[pixelpaladin24]

|| A peak of my year: I showed my grandmother Austin Butler (because frankly, I'm head over heels for his performance in Dune Part 2), and I asked her if she's seen the movie Elvis, because he's the lead actor in that one. She said she hasn't seen it, but fortunately, it was in the telly on Sunday evening, and she promised she'd watch it. I asked her tonight if she's watched it and she said yes, and she liked it, and that the actor was so handsome that she's going to watch it every time it's in the telly. 😌😂

[minty-bubblegum]

I HAR DOKI DOMI MUSIC SONEWHERE

[ladyseidr]

comes crawling out the ether like an eldritch creature. hello.