#I'd end the world to let you live just a few minutes longer | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ikeuverse · 1 year ago

Text

FIGHTER — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader GENRES: very little angst, a bit of fluff at the end WC: 9.2k+

WARNINGS: mention of fighting, cuts, mention of being drunk, some swearing. let me know if i forgot anything else, please!

SYNOPSIS: you've never seen a fight up close before, let alone an illegal fight. it was a different scenario that caught your attention, really fascinating. now one thing stuck in your mind beyond the whole fight scene: but why did the cute fighter treat you so badly when the two of you had never seen each other before? did he have a good explanation for this?

NOTES: listening bouncy by ateez made me have this idea. i changed the writing a few times and even wanted to continue after the end, but i thought i'd leave it that way to have, who knows, a part two? idk, you can tell me if you wish that. hope you like it!

masterlist

You could call yourself an adventurous person. Perhaps a complete explorer of the little and big things in life. Parachuting in, changing course from medical school – done for five long semesters – and running off to study social communication and be a respected copywriter in your field.

But even with a good profession, you never stopped exploring, being encouraged, and even accompanied by your couple of best friends, Sunghoon and Kasey.

You met the girl at the university of communication. Sharing a dormitory with a stranger back then would not make you imagine that today she would be your best friend and also your best friend's girlfriend. Introducing her to Sunghoon at one of your first frat parties was easy. Kasey was super communicative, while Sunghoon was shy. The contrast made the two hit it off right away and, after years, they were still together even though university was over.

Those nostalgic thoughts left you with a smile adorning your lips as you stepped out of the shower, looking at your reflection in the mirror and grimacing when you saw yourself with wet hair.

Friday night, end of work and you left early. Almost as if she knew what was coming, Kasey texted you as soon as you entered the house and threw your bag next to the couch.

We are going out today. Light clothes and a super different place, I think you'll like it.

You always enjoyed her crazy antics, that's why you two hit it off from the first minute inside that university room. She was just as adventurous as you and this could only be a work of fate, bringing two people together as best friends to explore every crazy and interesting thing in this world.

That's why, without delay, you ripped off your clothes on the way to your bathroom and took a long shower. Washing your hair and taking a little longer with the liquid body soap just to feel a little more relaxed after work. Your night out with your friends was always a lively one, and since your chores had been heavy that Friday, only the hot water would be able to wash away – almost – everything bad before you put on a proper outfit and dried your hair.

As you rambled about your outfit after your hair was properly dried – your arms sore from trying so hard to give your strands a good attention – a sigh left your lips, before a thin scream echoed through your room. The sound of the phone startled you and quickly made you turn towards the bed.

The quick steps to grab the handset and answer it on the next ring.

"Hi, I'm listening" you smiled even though your best friend couldn't see.

"Did you dry your hair?" how Kasey could know you so well, you had no idea. Chuckling, you mumbled in agreement before she continued "Okay, fifteen minutes for an outfit. Sunghoon and I will pick you up."

She didn't even let you answer her, hanging up just as quickly as she called. Surprised at how little time you had, you ran to your closet to get something to wear. Smiling at your clothes thinking that at least you would have a ride home. Without spending on a car app and without worrying about some stranger bringing you home.

Taking one last look in the mirror after choosing your outfit, smiling satisfied at what you saw there, you left the room. Even more smiling after seeing that Kasey and Sunghoon were really punctual that day, texting you in fifteen minutes saying they were already waiting for you at the entrance of your building.

Locking your apartment and taking the elevator leisurely, you reached the first floor and waved to the old gentleman doorman who was always so smiley every day.

"Good evening, Miss y/n" he greeted you. You greeted him back, wishing the man a good night before heading out and locating your couple of friends' car.

Getting into the backseat, your hands touched Sunghoon and Kasey's shoulders respectively.

"So..." the guy who was driving gave you a sideways glance, smiling at you "Ready for tonight?"

"I don't know where you guys are taking me, but I think I'm ready" your answer made them both laugh, along with Kasey making sure you loved the place.

You couldn't deny a huge chill in your stomach, even though you knew neither of them would let you down with the surprise. Kasey was a great thinking mind, while Sunghoon executed the whole plan of the crazy outings you all had. That's how it worked. But this time, you being a mere guinea pig for the Friday night surprise made you even more excited. Because what were they up to, anyway? That they hadn't told you anything at all since you got a text a few hours ago?

Please let it be nice, you thought, clutching even tighter to the leather of your jacket and settling comfortably in the back seat of the car as Sunghoon began to drive away, guided by the lights of the night city.

The reddish lights of the poorly placed sign flashed right in front of you. You, clinging to Kasey's arm, stared at the place with a long sigh coming out of your lips. Sure, you'd watched boxing matches on television and even bought tickets to one on some vacation trip to the States. But it never, ever crossed your mind to be in a giant shed, people back and forth as the words slowly came out of Kasey's mouth.

"Can we call it an underground fight?" from the look Sunghoon gave her, that was the name of what was going on.

Maybe because of the lack of regulations and because none of the fighters were, in fact, professionals, they were just there for the money and the numerous bets that were going on. You recognized this by the stand that was set up right next to the small staircase where there was a makeshift grandstand. Men of all shapes and sizes bet on so many names that you could not identify anything that came out of their mouths. A few women who were there, with fewer clothes than you were wearing, waved and greeted you and Kasey even though they didn't know each other. Maybe a brief recognition that you were the only one there among so many men, besides the others in their bikini tops who were standing in the middle of the fighting ring just waiting for it all to start.

Sunghoon approached with a smile on his lips, both hands carrying glasses that surely contained some drink for you to savor while you were there.

"So, did you like it?" he asked after handing you a glass. It was so full that you decided to share it with Kasey, it was still too early to drink so much.

"It's different" you said, smiling as you drank some of the beer and handed it to your friend "Is that really not dangerous?"

"Look, y/n is scared?" Kasey joked before sipping on the same glass as you "But… I don't think so, do you, love?" she looked at Sunghoon.

For a few seconds, he decided to stay quiet, just looking around trying to find words that could comfort you or make you less tense. Because he knew that's exactly what was happening, just like it happened to Kasey when he told her.

"They're used to it, y/n. But inside there's everything they need in case they get hurt" Sunghoon pointed to the left corner, it looked like a dressing room of sorts and his smile widened when a tall man appeared in the doorway and waved at him, beckoning him in "Come, I want you to meet my friend."

"He's hot" Kasey whispered to you.

"I heard that!" Sunghoon shouted loud enough, making you both laugh as he intertwined his fingers with Kasey's, and she raised her other arm for you to hold fearing she'd lose you in the crowd.

Passing by the one you were referred to, it seemed to be a bit quieter there. The flow of people was much smaller compared to outside. The voices were loud and fast, but there was no danger of bumping into anyone and so you managed to get a little free from Kasey's arm to give her and Sunghoon more privacy as they walked a little further ahead.

Through the dark corridor you were now passing, your best friend stopped in front of the black door and gave a quick knock before entering, without waiting for a confirmation.

"I can't believe you came" the amused voice greeted him, and Sunghoon was soon laughing as he let go of Kasey's hand to enter first and hug the man.

Your friend looked at you and winked in your direction, maybe that boy was the handsome one she had told you about, but his face was still a mystery because the hug lasted so long. It looked like he and Sunghoon hadn't seen each other in years.

"Did you think I would lose your fight today?" shit, Sunghoon's friend is a fighter, you almost yelled at that. Sighing, soon Kasey's voice greeted him and she hugged him too. The man's laugh was as infectious as your best friend's who was laughing at some comment he had made before releasing Kasey from the hug.

And last but not least, you. Your gaze finally caught the really handsome guy in front of you. Was he hot? For God's sake, Kasey lied, he looked like a Greek God. Well-drawn lips, a pointed nose, and an extremely lined, pearly, beautiful smile. Those teeth could reflect all the light in the room if it wasn't for the lamp that illuminated all of you.

"Heeseung, this is y/n, my best friend" Sunghoon introduced you. You smiled at him the same way he smiled at you, nodding and walking the steps that separated the two of you to hold his hand "Y/n, this is Heeseung. My best friend and coworker."

Your brow furrowed briefly and it didn't go unnoticed by either of them, making Heeseung chuckle some more before letting go of your hand.

"This fighting thing is secondary" he explained afterward "Sunghoon is not part of it."

"Not directly" he held his friend by the shoulders before he pulled him away from you to sit him back down in his chair.

Surely Sunghoon would have to explain to you a bit more about that because it was quite confusing, and looking at Kasey, you realized that that information had also been told to her not too long ago. Judging by the way she was sitting on the small couch staring at the two men who were talking non-stop.

"So" Heeseung's voice cut off the moment you were about to start a conversation with Kasey, making you both look at him "Where's your boyfriend, y/n?"

Boyfriend? You frowned again, so confused by the sudden question coming from him. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who let out a small sigh, nibbling his lip as if he already knew what was coming.

"I… I don't have a boyfriend" you smiled and this time your action didn't mirror Heeseung. There was a frown on his face and the countenance that was once so cheerful was now so closed and nervous.

You almost felt guilty for telling the truth, why was it so bad not having a boyfriend? Was it a sin for you to be single? Your mouth opened to say something, but he looked away from you before he even let you continue.

"What was our deal, bro?" Heeseung stared at Sunghoon, still frowning and even more serious, if that was possible.

"Relax, it's just a night of fun" he explained.

"No, it's not" Heeseung got up from his chair and walked towards you, stopping a considerable distance away from you from Kasey "You need to go home, y/n."

"What? Why?" as a reflex to his actions, you got up from the couch and stood in front of him, the same distance he was keeping from you.

"Hey Heeseung, it's okay. She'll be with me and Hoon…" Kasey smiled without showing her teeth, seeing that even that hadn't disarmed the boy.

Heeseung gave up trying to say anything and walked over to Sunghoon without saying a word. He looked at the door just as there was a knock and his name was called, indicating that the fight was about to begin.

"Don't do that anymore, that wasn't our deal" he touched Sunghoon's shoulder before grabbing the bandages and gloves he always wore. Taking one last look at you, Heeseung left the room and slammed the door as hard as he could.

"What the fuck was that?" Kasey sighed and you let out all the breath you didn't know you were holding until the moment.

Your eyes stung a little, but what was the reason you would cry anyway? Trying to take a deep breath and contain it, you looked at Sunghoon for some bigger explanation.

"Do you have anything to tell us?" his girlfriend insisted, knowing that you wouldn't say anything else for a good while while you were still recovering.

Sunghoon was quiet for a good few minutes, just the sound of people passing back and forth outside the room. Someone had come in to get something Heeseung had forgotten, and as soon as he left, something dawned on the boy who had stayed there with you two.

"Just… Give Heeseung a break, okay?" he tried to explain, giving a smile so loose that neither you nor Kasey seemed to believe it.

That wouldn't be much more than an answer, so you decided to accept it and get it over with. Hoping so hard to be able to go home because that place was already getting exhausting for you.

Unfortunately, or not, Heeseung was a very good fighter. If you told him that he would take it up as a real profession, it would not go unnoticed. Or if you hadn't heard it come out of his mouth that it was secondary, like a hobby, you would never believe it.

He had precise blows, a cheeky grin on his face every time he hit his opponent. When someone hit him, the most he would get from Heeseung was a bit of spitting on the ground and jeering, before he would practically finish off his opponent in minutes.

"Round three" the man shouted from the middle of the ring. Even though he didn't need to, Heeseung seemed to accept while the other fighter had also agreed.

Taking a seat on the bench in the corner of the ring, he listened intently to the instructions of an older, fat, sweaty man. The towel he carried on his shoulders was so dirty that you could hardly believe it when Heeseung accepted it to wipe his forehead. He needs to take a shower urgently, your mind screamed as soon as the boy returned the towel.

When they gave the signal for the fight to resume, a girl – typical of wrestling – walked by in extremely short clothes into the ring. Whistles and cheers were heard throughout the venue. You held back your laughter when you saw Kasey almost shoot Sunghoon with her eyes, him staring at her for the entire moment until the woman disappeared from his field of vision and left the venue to the fighters alone.

"Come on, Hee! You already won!" Sunghoon shouted to his friend, encouraging him as he always did.

When he stood up from his seat, Heeseung looked at Sunghoon and smiled broadly, or as much as his mouthguard let him do. But as soon as his eyes traveled down Sunghoon's side, stopping directly at you, his smile fell. It was as if there was something about Heeseung that he just couldn't look at you with a smile.

The boy decided to ignore that and turn his attention back to the fight, adjusting his gloves and focusing any and all attention on the man in front of him.

It wasn't that hard to know that, with a few more blows, Heeseung had been named the winner. Bettors celebrated the boy's victory, while others who had bet on the loser, lamented the money they would have to pay.

All for the sake of entertainment. All for the sake of the underground fight that Heeseung loved, because he knew that at the end of the night, the money he would win would be more than enough not to step foot in there for a few weeks.

"Let's go find him" Sunghoon whispered to Kasey, seeing that she stared in your direction with his words even if you weren't hearing very well because of the distance between the two "I promise Heeseung won't say anything to y/n now."

"If he does, he and y/n can discuss" Kasey whispered back, but she let her boyfriend lead the way as the three of you made your way back to the less crowded part of the shed.

Where you, strangely, felt it was best. Even if it meant being in the same room as Heeseung for a few minutes.

Like the first time you were there, Sunghoon entered first and as soon as you entered, the room was not silent. Three more people besides you, your friends, and Heeseung were there. All men excitedly handed several wadded-up notes of money to the newly crowned champion of the fight. Heeseung was sweaty and panting, but he had such a bright smile on his face that you held back the urge to make a vomiting noise when you remembered that he had smiled like that before he was a complete asshole to you.

"Tonight was awesome, man" the gray-haired boy ruffled Heeseung's hair, taking a few steps away and stuffing the money bills into a plastic bag "When are you coming back to fight?"

Heeseung sighed loudly, taking the bag and putting it inside a bag that was probably his.

"Maybe in two weeks, or three" he closed the bag "With this amount I can go almost a month without showing up here."

"Really, tonight was the highest of the month" another man celebrated "You deserve it, man. I think it's good to get some rest too, you've worked hard."

"Thank you" Heeseung thanked and greeted the men before they left.

When he heard Sunghoon's voice congratulating him, he was still smiling, even looking through the reflection of the small mirror in front of him and looking straight at you. Replying to Sunghoon that he could have a few weekends like a normal person, without fighting or having cuts all over his face, Heeseung's gaze had never left you at any point.

And the strangest thing was that you couldn't stop looking at him either. It was as if you tried to look away, but half a second later and your eyes would go back to his reflection.

"And you're still here?" he finally turned around, finishing what he was doing and looking at you properly now.

You noticed the movement of Sunghoon and Kasey as if they had foreseen what was coming.

"Should I have left?" your tone of voice was the same as his, only a little lower for the distance you were standing. Heeseung snorted.

"Should have" how audacious, you wanted to mentally curse him for that "This place isn't for you."

"Of course. You should know a good place for me since you don't even know me."

"I know enough to know it was a mistake for Sunghoon to bring you here."

That hurt. In such a ridiculous way because Heeseung was a stranger to you, so why had his words hit you hard? Why, again, had your eyes started to sting and you were seeing everything in a blur?

"You're shit, Heeseung," your words came out so desperately that he didn't even care to hear them. It was as if the boy was used to being called that, but his Adam's apple shook hard at the way he swallowed dry. Why had he swallowed dry with you calling him that?

"Y/n…" Sunghoon called out to you, but not in time to get you trapped inside the room, because you had already left.

You could have also heard wrong, but Heeseung also called your name. Or was it your crazy head because your steps were so fast that you didn't want to go back?

Your gaze blurs more and more as you passed people, hearing shouts of another fight breaking out. You just wanted to leave.

Without difficulty finding the exit, you were already outside that shed breathing the cold air of the streets that embraced your body. And for some time afterwards, you let the tears fall on your cheeks.

"Y/n… Hey, sweet" you sniffled loudly at Kasey's voice right behind you, wiping your face ever so quickly. But to no avail, it was impossible to hide anything from your best friend.

She turned you around and hugged you slowly, stroking your hair and kissing your cheek.

"Let's go home, please?" you asked in a whisper, holding yourself back from crying again.

"Come on" she said "By the way, can I sleep in your apartment?"

"Why?"

She lifted her head to look at you, eyes reddened just like yours. Shit… Had she cried too?

"Sunghoon and I had a fight because…"

"Because of me?" a pout formed on your lips, you wanted to cry again because that had never happened before. And it was something you dreaded, having your best friends fight over you.

"Also, but—" she sighed, squeezing your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead before pulling away from you to hug you from the side "He and Heeseung have some deal that Sunghoon didn't tell me about. And if they treat my best friend like that, I'll fight."

You looked at her beside you, laying your head on her shoulder as she laid her head on yours. Both of you in that position for so long that you had lost count of how many people had passed by or how many people had left disappointed at losing a fight.

"Let's go home. There's a lot of goodies we need to eat in my closet" you broke the silence, hearing her giggle right after.

You sighed wistfully as Kasey walked through your apartment door holding another bouquet in her hand.

"From Sunghoon again?" you held back a laugh as she agreed, kicking off her shoes to head to the kitchen.

Unhurriedly, your steps followed your best friend as you watched her search for a pot big enough to fit the new plants she received.

"With another regret card, this time I almost gave in" she pouted as she placed the flowers into the water, setting the makeshift pot on the kitchen counter.

Almost two weeks she decided to stay with you in your apartment until she forgave her boyfriend for feeling bad about the last fight. You asked her to stay as long as she needed, perhaps feeling less guilty for still thinking it was all because of you.

"Why don't you talk to him? I think Sunghoon already got what he deserved."

"I'm still upset about the last time we talked, he wouldn't tell me and even allowed Heeseung to talk to you like that" she pulled you into the living room without much difficulty, you wanted to go back there anyway and continue your cooking program before taking a long shower to make dinner.

Taking a seat on the couch, Kasey joined you in watching the show as she laid her head on your lap. You decided to end it there, after all, it was between the two of you and you had tried everything to get them talking again in that time. Even though you didn't respond so well to Sunghoon's messages, because you were upset with him too. But you wanted the good of your two best friends, so giving in was a good thing.

What if I text him now? You thought. After a few hours of watching television, Kasey had taken a short nap on your lap. Breathing quietly with his hand still petting her hair.

With your free hand, you reached out far enough to reach your cell phone and go to Sunghoon's chat. But before you could type anything, your best friend's number was calling you.

Was it a sign, perhaps? He wanted to talk too and that could be good. Or not. You didn't know it, but you answered quickly hearing the noise on the other end of the phone.

"Sunghoon?" you asked as soon as you got no answer, not even a hello from the other end.

"Oh, she answered… Y/n? It's Jake."

"Jake!" you smiled into the handset even though no one could see it, not even Kasey who was still sleeping on your lap "What's that noise?"

"We came to a bar after work" you heard him gasp as he walked to a less noisy place. Maybe he was heading outside the establishment "But some things… Well… Didn't work out so well."

You could swear he was smiling shyly now as if he had done something wrong. Your mind wandered to the first time you met him when Sunghoon introduced his coworkers. Jake was so energetic and funny, and he gave such a shy smile when he broke one of the cups at Jay's house. Maybe it was that smile he was giving now.

"Tell me what happened, please…" you stirred a little, praying that your friend wouldn't wake up. And it had worked. You managed to get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen.

"Jake? What are you doing, man? Give me my cell phone back!" it was Sunghoon, and judging by his slurred voice, the boy was drunk.

"Be quiet and go with Sunoo, he needs to clean that cut."

"Cut?" for a second your voice came out so loud that, with Kasey's words on the couch, now your best friend was awake and Jake was regretting having scared you that much.

"Okay, okay. Sorry y/n. Can you… Can you…"

"Y/n? Did you call her?" Sunghoon picked up the phone under Jake's protests, taking the lead to talk to you "I know you're mad at me and Heeseung and we don't blame you" why is he talking about Heeseung out of nowhere? You hadn't even mentioned his name "But please don't kill us today."

"Kill you? What happened?"

"I guess being away from Kasey made me mad" he huffed, you thought that probably at that moment Sunghoon was playing with his own feet for being embarrassed about what he was going to say next "They bumped into me, I got into a fight and… Well…"

He went quiet and so did Jake. For a moment you pulled your cell phone away from your face to see if the call was still going on.

"Sunghoon?"

"Come pick us up, please?" he asked in a whispery tone, almost afraid someone would hear him.

"Okay, give me the address, we'll be there in a few minutes" your gaze quickly traveled to Kasey's drowsy figure, which was slowly waking up at the sight of her face.

She knew something was up, and you took a deep breath as Sunghoon passed you the phone so Jake could give you the address.

You knew where it was, so it would be easier to locate as you hung up the phone.

"Did something happen?" Kasey yawned.

"We need to go out and get the boys, I need you to come with me" you were so quick to deflect her questions, after all, you didn't have much time and she could see for herself. You didn't know much either.

Other than enough said by Jake and the mumblings of a drunk Sunghoon. You just mentally prayed that nothing that serious had happened, even if your trembling hands on the steering wheel of the car told you otherwise.

The nightclub was full and you didn't feel intimidated by the stares, because all the women were very well dressed and you were… in a sweatshirt. There was no time to change and even Kasey couldn't get out of her work clothes, because as soon as you said Sunghoon and cut in the same sentence, she just put on her shoes and ran with you wherever you went.

Disengaging from some people, apologizing to others for rushing through and getting to the other side of the club, you and your best friend finally reached the bar. The meeting point where Jake had texted you, and luckily, he had just arrived too.

"Thank God!" his sigh of relief was mirrored by the two of you, quickly hugging you on either side "Sunoo and I were the only ones in favor of calling you two" he looked at you and then at Kasey, smiling sincerely at the presence of the two of you there.

While he kept up a casual conversation, trying to distract them until they got to the back of the club, they both answered everything without much excitement, not least because the focus was on finding the boys who – possibly – were hurt. Sunghoon had a cut somewhere, that was the only information they had.

"The security guard let us stay here until you two arrived" Jake stopped in front of the door, it looked like a private room.

"Was it that bad?" Kasey tried not to look so desperate when Jake didn't answer with words, he just shrugged and sighed before walking in, being followed by her and then you.

The room was well lit and the table had only bottles of water on it, which made you feel more relieved. No alcohol, they had taken a break to recover.

Your gaze wandered around the people, stopping on Sunoo who was trying, uselessly, to make Sunghoon sit still while he cleaned the famous cut. It was on his lower lip and that could only have been caused by someone.

"Who did you fight with, Park Sunghoon?" your friend's voice caught the attention of all of them inside that room. So far no one had noticed the presence of the newcomers.

Sunghoon almost fell when he got up from the sofa if it wasn't for Sunoo who held him as soon as it happened.

"Kasey? Baby" he pouted, almost crying with the pain it caused him that his lip was bruised. Sunoo let go of him as her best friend reached for him, feeling his arms wrap around her.

"What happened?" he smothered her in a tight hug, saying anything you could at least hear. Paying attention to the two of them was funny, because in years of relationship, maybe that had been the most serious fight you've witnessed from them.

And it was weird, you couldn't deny it.

Your eyes went to Sunoo, smiling in appreciation for taking care of Sunghoon so well. Or at least trying to. And quickly a gaze ran to the other side of the room, stopping immediately on Heeseung.

He also seemed to have a cut, but he was located on his eyebrow. He had never looked away from you since you had entered that room, and judging by the way Jake put his hands on your back, pushing you towards him, it was your turn to go talk to the boy.

"Not me."

There was no denying that Jake was stronger, and this battle for breaking free from his hands to Heeseung would be a defeat. So you just accepted it and stopped in front of the boy.

"I'll help Sunoo and tell the security guard we can go now" Jake whispered to you, looking at Heeseung and flashing a smile "Behave yourself and be civilized this time."

"Okay, daddy Jake."

"Ew, gross. Don't call me that!" Jake flicked his middle finger at Heeseung and left, walking with Sunoo out of the room and leaving just the four of you there.

You wanted some sign of Kasey and Sunghoon, but their conversation seemed far more interesting than looking in your direction and answering the thousands of questions forming in your mind. Like, for example, why were you here with Heeseung? Sunoo could have looked after him or the boys could have told you what to say to the security guard and you would have gone there. Not standing there to look after someone who had been ridiculous to you.

"I think I can hear your neurons frying from here" Heeseung's voice invaded your ears and you sighed loudly, but not loud enough for him to hear since the music from the whole club was still invading every corner of the place. You turned towards him and tried not to express any reaction to that.

In vain. When he quickly grabbed your hands and forced his weight to stand up, getting only a few centimeters away from your body.

"Sorry, when I get drunk I can't… I…" his gaze was restless, paying attention to every little detail of your face. Whether it was your wide eyes and curiosity about his next move, or even your ajar, reddened lips that Heeseung swore he didn't want to see so closely or he might lose control.

"Heeseung, Sunghoon" Sunoo called out to his friends at the same moment Heeseung shook his hand. You let all the air out of your lungs when everyone inside that room paid attention to the newly arrived boy "Let's go out, I think y/n parked the car near ours. It won't be a problem for us to leave."

You all agreed and Sunoo guided Kasey, who had Sunghoon's arms around his body so he wouldn't stagger as he left. You wished you didn't have to think about it, but it was impossible at the same moment as Heeseung's hands gripped your shoulders.

"Can I hold on to you? I don't want to fall halfway," his voice whispered between your hair, close to your ear. And that damn shiver went through your whole body.

If he wasn't drunk, you could have sworn it was some kind of tease on his part. But without much thought one of your hands went to meet his on your shoulder, intertwining your fingers a little too tightly to hold him back.

"Be careful, Heeseung" you said, not knowing if he heard or not. You just wanted to get out of there and you did.

Walking out of the club with Sunoo in front to guide the way while Jake helped Kasey and Sunghoon.

Without much delay you reached the outside, you had indeed parked your car near the boys' car. Strategically or not, maybe out of sheer desperation to just get there and find them, but at least it had worked out.

"Okay, someone needs to take Heeseung's car. He won't drive like this" Sunoo held up the keys between his fingers.

"Hey, there's my keys" he grumbled, dropping your shoulders to stagger over to Sunoo. Unsuccessful in picking up his car keys, he was without a shred of reflex due to his drinking.

"And I came with him" Sunghoon whined softly, laying his head on Kasey's shoulder for a few seconds, but quickly getting up "I had an idea!"

"Oh shit, should we worry?" Jake asked amused, eliciting a small laugh from the group for the first time all night.

Sunghoon decided to ignore the joke made to him, looking at each of the people there until his eyes stopped on Heeseung.

"You knew that y/n did a few semesters of medicine, right?" you frowned at that question, after all, how relevant could it be since it had nothing to do with the subject.

"Yeah, we talked about it that day" Heeseung agreed.

"What? Did you talk about me?" you almost shouted, startling the two drunken chatters. Jake and Sunoo decided to turn their attention to their cell phones, talking to their girlfriends to give them the news that everything was okay later in the evening. Meanwhile, Sunghoon and Heeseung ignored – or tried to ignore – their questions and focused on the small talk they were having.

"She can take care of your cuts and take you home."

If your life were a cartoon, your eyes would pop out of their orbs the moment you rolled them. How could Sunghoon think such a thing? And how Jake was laughing at that situation so unpretentiously while you denied it with several nods.

"Sunghoon, what are you doing?" Kasey asked in a whisper.

"Helping my friend, I want to make amends with both of them" but his answer had been loud enough, and your eyes remained wide.

Jake, realizing that nothing would come out of his mouth and that Heeseung would not answer anything either, decided to intervene.

"Y/n, I think Sunghoon meant that you can take good care of Heeseung's cuts" he said low, just for you to hear since Sunoo, at that moment, was talking to Heeseung. Gave some guidance because he couldn't drive in that state "He cares the least about it and we're afraid it might get infected."

"I don't— Jake!" you whined.

"It's all right. Anything you can call me, you know" he touched your shoulder with him in a subtle motion "I live two streets away from Heeseung's apartment. If he's an asshole, you can yell."

It was just saying no. Just deny it and say that someone else could take such good care of his cuts other than you, not least because your medical school had been a long time coming. But of course, that first aid part hadn't been forgotten by you.

Shit, shit, shit. Why was no denial of any kind going on in your mind? Why were you walking towards Sunoo and reaching out to take the keys to Heeseung's car? Why were you handing your car keys to Kasey?

"Take care of my baby, please" you said to your best friend as the metal of the keys slipped out of your fingers and into hers.

"I will" she smiled, feeling Sunghoon's arms go away from her body so he could walk over to you and hug you.

"You're the best friend in the whole universe, I swear" Sunghoon whispered as he hugged you tightly. You, returning the hug, smiled as he kissed the top of your head before slowly pulling away "Take care of him for me because I know he'll take care of you."

"Okay, mister drunk" your smile made him smile too, and meanwhile, you clutched Heeseung's keys between your fingers and turned to him.

Without saying a single word, the boy pointed to the dark car in the row of a few cars a little further away. Then it was just a matter of saying goodbye to your friends and getting out. And so you did.

Greeting one by one until there was no one left, you let Heeseung lead the way, hoping he wouldn't trip or hurt himself on the way to the car. Safe and sound, he leaned against the passenger door and smiled without showing his teeth, indicating that it was that vehicle that would take you both away.

You unlocked it, got in, and were followed by him until you both closed the door for good.

"I need your address now" you said.

He just agreed, saying he would drive you to his apartment. As you started the car, your attention was always on the road, afraid to look away from him. But that didn't stop Heeseung from looking at you.

And he knows he did it all the way to his apartment. Without regretting it for a second.

Heeseung let you rummage through the bathroom cabinet when you said the first aid kit was in there. Complying with your requests, he walked to the kitchen and drank at least two full glasses of water in an attempt to relieve the drunkenness – which had been leaving his body since the moment he got into the car with you. This time, pulling up a chair to sit near the table, the young man waited patiently until you returned. Or he thought he was patient, faltering the second you walked through the kitchen door.

Under the bright light of the kitchen Heeseung could swear that your skin glowed something completely different than he had ever seen in his entire life. Your face was so focused on the small briefcase and some tape in your other hand, that he sighed when he saw a small pout forming on your lips.

"I already washed my hands, okay?" your voice was low due to your proximity to him, placing the case on the table behind Heeseung. He straightened up in the chair and, as if by automatic, his legs opened for you to fit your body in there.

Your gaze fell on Heeseung's legs, hesitating whether or not to stay there, but it was the only way. The only right way to be so close so you could clean that cut with the almost dried blood.

Tidying his hair so that no strands remained in front of his face, he slowly slid between his legs to stand there, a few centimeters from Heeseung's body that was sitting almost static in front of you. He closed his eyes as soon as he saw you pick up the cotton and pour something in, feeling the icy material against his skin.

"What…"

"I'm cleaning it" you kept talking quietly, sometimes making your breath hitch against his skin "You were sweaty and it was open for a long time, we don't know what's in there."

He murmured in agreement, continuing to keep his eyes closed and not catching any moment of your care. Only occasionally feeling your fingers against his hair to push it away from his face. Or when the absorbent cotton slipped out of your hands, or even when you wiped away some of the contents you had used to clean up and it was dripping, almost going onto his cheek.

"Heeseung?" you called him after a few minutes.

"Yeah…" he opened his eyes, meeting yours that was already looking at him in anticipation. A small smile formed on his lips and Heeseung didn't know why he smiled back at that.

"This might sting a bit" he rolled his eyes down his hands, seeing a small bottle there. Surely he had bought it at the insistence of his coworkers, after all, Heeseung had no idea how to heal a wound. In all of his – occasioned by fighting – Heeseung always had someone in the ring who did it for him, so worrying about taking care of it wasn't his area.

"You know y/n, you don't have to—"

"I do, you won't get it without some medicine" your scolding made him go quiet, realizing that had shut Heeseung up, so you continued "You can squeeze me or ask me to stop if it stings unbearably, okay?"

Without a single word, he just agreed, thinking it was a complete exaggeration. Especially since he fought practically all the time, he had already been beaten up a lot and had many cuts on his face, why would it burn so much that he would do those things?

"Fuck" Heeseung almost screamed when he felt his skin burn and the pressure of your fingers with the cotton from the cut.

In the same second, he grabbed your waist, his strong hands squeezing your shirt and consequently pulling your body closer to him. It made you completely hug Heeseung. And he didn't seem to notice, not even for a moment as he still held himself tightly against you.

Your breathing faltered for a few seconds, the closeness to him making you inhale the scent he had. The musk of his fragrance entered your nostrils as you closed your eyes momentarily and opened them, focusing on the care while Heeseung still kept his hands on your waist.

"It's okay, you can let me go now" you whispered as you took the cotton with the medicine, discarding it just like the other materials you used to clean his wound.

"Shit, I'm sorry" realizing what he had done as soon as he opened his eyes, Heeseung released his hands from your waist, remaining seated.

You didn't say anything else as you put away every single thing you used, throwing what you needed in the trash and going back to grab your kit bag. Your walk back to the bathroom was longer because your steps seemed slower and your thoughts traveled to Heeseung's fingers against your body. As he walked out of the kitchen in the same slow steps, processing what had just happened.

It wouldn't be a big deal that touches because he actually felt pain and your body was the only tangible thing in front of him. But why did Heeseung's fingers tingle? Why did he want more of that contact?

"Okay, your stuff is already put away" your voice snapped him out of his reveries, making the boy stare at you a little dazed by the whole situation.

"Thank you" he tried to smile knowing that it had looked more like a grimace because you laughed softly as you searched for the things that you had left on the couch "Hey, where are you going?"

"Home…?" your lips pressed together, preventing any expression from being used as you held up your cell phone and the cold sweater you had put there when you arrived.

"No, you can stay."

"Heeseung, I—"

"Seriously y/n, I insist" he interrupted you, swallowing dryly when he saw a glimpse of hesitation in you, almost dropping your phone in it's place "It's the least I can do after you took care of it" he pointed to the cut that no longer bled "And you can rest assured, I like sleeping on my couch."

"No… Not really" you tried to protest.

"I'll be right back" with an overwhelming stubbornness, Heeseung disappeared down the hallway of the apartment, making you snort and not giving you a chance to answer anything.

He didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity to you when he came back with some blankets and pillows in his arms, throwing everything on one of the armchairs.

"I'm not very tidy with things, but I promise my bed is a clean and safe place" he smiled, running one of his hands over the back of his neck quickly. Heeseung was at a loss and didn't know how to act from then on "You can sleep there tonight, I'll take you home as soon as we wake up."

You had nothing else to say but accept the offer. Leaving at that hour from Heeseung's apartment wasn't a smart thing to do, taking an app car wasn't very safe either. And Jake had probably already gone to sleep, you didn't want to bother him, even if the boy lived a few minutes away.

"Thanks, Heeseung" was the only thing you managed to say before approaching him and touching both of his hands. Slowly brushing your thumb across the back of his hand, an intimate and quick act, before letting go of his hand and smiling once more. You said your goodbyes and headed down the hallway to the bedrooms, running into his room as your cheeks began to heat up.

Meanwhile, slumped on the huge sofa, Heeseung felt a tingle in his hand again. But this time, a huge smile was on his lips, and now he could tell why this time.

You didn't know you would miss waking up to the smell of Heeseung. Even though it had only been a few days since you had slept over at his place, with him dropping you off at your apartment door, it was getting more and more confusing. Why couldn't you just stop thinking about him? After all, Heeseung had been a asshole, he'd only been nice out of courtesy and because you'd taken care of his cut, nothing could be fairer.

But no. He had a way of ruining all the thoughts and strategies you yourself had devised to ward off anything related to him.

Hearing the doorbell ring relentlessly, you huffed and walked lazily to the door, balancing your coffee mug as you let your hair down from the grueling day you had at work.

"I hope you haven't forgotten anything here at all, Kasey."

"Maybe Sunghoon can get it for her later" Heeseung's voice almost made you knock over all the coffee you were drinking. Your eyes widened at the sudden appearance and the words had simply vanished from your mind, as if you had unlearned how to speak.

"What… What are you doing here?" shit, you wanted to scream, why were you stuttering in front of him?

"Can I come in?"

No.

"Yes, come in" you said, completely betraying your brain from barring you while there was time.

After entering your apartment, Heeseung walked shyly to the center of your living room with you trailing behind, admiring every detail in it.

"Sorry to come unannounced, but…" he stopped looking at your wall decorations, turning around and facing you "Sunghoon said it was either this, or you wouldn't answer any of my messages."

"Why?" you asked.

"Because maybe he let it slip that you've already called me every possible name" he shrugged, not seeming the least bit affected by it. You could feel your cheeks burning, and from the embarrassed look on your face, Heeseung managed to smile.

"Well… I had reasons" your coffee mug rested on the coffee table as you approached him, crossing your arms in front of your chest as Heeseung held out his hands. A bag dangled from your fingers and you glanced at it quickly, letting out a laugh afterward.

"Accept my apology, please" you took the package and then bluntly took it from there.

The bottle of wine looked expensive enough that you never thought of buying it. It was the kind of gift that only your best friends would give because it never seemed to cross your mind to spend something like that.

"Heeseung" his name came out of your lips like a little melody, and he loved it.

"I didn't know if you liked flowers or chocolates" he whispered "But Sunghoon always comments on how you and Kasey go out drinking, I just figured."

"Thank you" that had been so cute that the pout on your lips made him sigh, and he didn't care that you had heard.

"It was for fight day, actually."

"What?"

He was quiet for the briefest of seconds, waiting for you to put the bottle of wine away somewhere appropriate that you could use later or whenever you pleased. As soon as you approached him again, Heeseung nibbled on his bottom lip as he rambled on about how to tell you about it.

"Ever since I started this thing, me and the boys have had an agreement" the agreement that neither you nor Kasey knew about, so you just nodded because he had to keep talking. And because you were too curious to say anything "We don't take any kind of unaccompanied girl to the fight."

"Why?" Heeseung pondered whether or not to continue, but he had already gotten that far. If he turned back, you'd surely get even angrier and never see him in front of you again.

"I've been around this shit long enough to see what the guys are capable of over there, y/n" he had a serious tone, but he didn't sound angry at all. Just emphasizing that the subject wasn't any kind of joke "I've lost count of how many times I've heard absurdities from the guys there and what they did with any girl who stepped in that place" he made a disgusted face, recalling facts and even stories that the men told.

It was stomach-churning and Heeseung would spare you any details, telling you only what was necessary to get the matter over with.

"So I made a deal with them about it, that they could only take some girl if she was accompanied" finally, Heeseung didn't know he had gotten so close to you while telling that story. Looking into your eyes when he was finally a few centimeters away from you.

"That's why you asked if I had a boyfriend?" your voice almost faltered from lack of use, watching him slowly agree.

"I was so mad at Sunghoon for breaking our agreement that I ended up taking it out on you, so for that I'm sorry" Heeseung's hand touched your arm, causing you to undo their crisscross so he could hold your hand and intertwine your fingers in his.

"It's okay, you had a good reason. You could have just said it instead of being an asshole to me."

"I know that, that's why I want to make amends" Heeseung slowly squeezed your fingers in his, staring at their joined hands as he looked back up at your face.

"How?"

"By inviting you to my next fight this weekend" he smiled when he saw your face contort in confusion.

Why would Heeseung call you to the place where he said all sorts of things happened and, on top of that, have the first fight that made you hate him – not at the moment – but you didn't want to admit it.

"For you to fight me again for being alone there?" your question made him laugh, Heeseung knew he wouldn't get a different answer than that. And he expected it, so his next move had been almost calculated.

Closing the small distance between you two, he let you feel the small pressure of his body against yours. One of his hands ran down to your waist, the first place he touched you.

"No" Heeseung's voice was so low it was only audible because of proximity as he lowered his neck enough to let his face close to yours "Because you'll be with me."

"But you're going to fight" you said as the tip of his nose touched yours, a small sigh leaving your lips at the contact.

"Exactly" he whispered "I'll be watching you the whole time" Heeseung squeezed your waist, still whispering every word as he brushed his lips against yours "And it was nice to have your eyes on me while I was in the ring, you know?"

"Really?" you remembered the small exchange of glances between the two of you when it all went down, thankful that now you both had your eyes closed so he wouldn't notice the blush on your cheeks.

"Really, because it motivated me in a way."

"How?"

"On the one hand I was mad that you didn't have a boyfriend and were alone there" Heeseung touched his lips to yours, the softness almost making you cry out. He chuckled softly, the vibration going straight to his mouth because of how close the two of you were "On the other hand I felt relieved, so I have an excuse to call you to my fights."

"I guess I can accept that."

He wasn't sure if the answer was from your sentence or the way his lips were still lingering on yours. Heeseung was going to take that as an answer to both thoughts, getting carried away with the fact that now you would go with him to the fights and finally get to taste your lips on his.

#heeseung angst #enhanet #hyfenet #heeseung fluff #lee heeseung fluff #lee heeseung angst #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #enhypen masterlist #enhypen x reader #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #bay writes.

386 notes · View notes

thetriumphantpanda · 2 years ago

Text

Ghost of You | J. Miller (Chapter One)

Series Summary / Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. And no-one ever explains the guilt you feel when it isn’t anymore. When it’s just a dull ache and you can finally breathe again, when you can start letting people get close to you again. People like Joel Miller.

Pairing / Joel Miller x Female Reader

Word Count / 3.4K

Warnings / soft!Joel, reader is a widow, in depth discussions and descriptions of grief and depression, will have eventual smut, SLOW BURN.

Authors Note / I AM SO PROUD OF THIS LITTLE STORY YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I've wanted to write soft!Joel for so long so I hope you love it as much as I do! If you do enjoy it, reblogs, asks and likes are my drug so I'd love to know what you think! Also considering following for more!

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Grief is a strange thing. In the beginning it had been all-consuming. There wasn’t a moment of the day where you didn’t cry, didn’t ask yourself why it couldn’t have been you instead. There were days that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw back the sheets of your bed and get up. For the first month, you think you managed to shower three times. No point if no-one was going to see you. You hadn’t left your house since the day of the funeral, life had become a monotonous circle of waking up, soaking your pillow with tears until you made yourself sick, throwing on the same clothes as before and then doing the same thing but led on the couch.

People had reassured you it would get easier. That each day it would subside, little by little, and you cursed them for being right. The longer you sat with your misery, the easier it became. One morning, a few months ago, you remember waking up, only this time you didn’t roll over and place your hand on the empty side of the bed and cry when you realized your husband wasn’t there anymore. You got up and showered, taking 15 minutes to brush the matted mess of your hair, and you dressed in new clothes.

You managed to walk to the market hall and purchase food with your ration cards and Maria had almost fallen over when she saw you in the aisle. That was the worst thing though. You’d been absent from life in Jackson for almost six months, and whenever you left your house people looked at you. Some still had those sympathetic eyes, telling you they were sorry for your loss, but there were the others who judged you. How pathetic you were for falling into despair like you had.

It wasn’t as if he’d met a violent end, he was quite lucky, actually. In this world death came at the hands of evil, whether it was being taken and tortured by raiders, or torn limb from limb by infected. Your husband had died peacefully, drifting off in his sleep in the hospital. The doctors had said it was cancer, which seemed painfully unkind to him. He’d never smoked in his life and was probably the healthiest person you’d ever known, but when was life ever fair?

You could tell they whispered once you’d passed. How dare she be so upset when my husband was killed on patrol? How lucky you were to have been able to say goodbye and hold his hand as he passed, when someone else turned into one of those things all alone. So now it wasn’t grief that kept you behind closed doors, but shame. Shame at knowing you thought they were right, that not being able to pull yourself together was selfish. Selfish to all the people who had managed to carry on with their lives after losing someone, selfish to the community for not being able to pull your weight. You were stuck and you had no idea what to do about it.

The only way you could face leaving your home these days was on Maria’s comforting arm. She’d been your friend for years, she and Tommy seemingly the only people who understood you. Didn’t force you to do anything, let you come to your own decisions when you felt ready. No-one would dare look at you or speak in hushed tones whilst she was around.

The sun was soaking Jackson now, it was summer, and you were grateful for the warmth of the sun on your skin, everything felt better with the sun on your back. With summer came one of your favourites of life’s simple pleasures. Strawberries. In the market you picked up as many as you could purchase after buying your essentials. Maria walked you home, helped you put away everything and then left with a comforting hug.

You carefully placed a large handful of the fruit in a bowl, rinsing it under running water. You were about to sit down on your couch to eat them, but the sun was filtering invitingly through your front windows. You stripped off your jacket, leaving you in your simple tank top and jeans before opening your front door to sit on the bench on your porch. You had sunglasses resting on your face, Tommy had found them on a patrol trip a few months ago and you were grateful for the safety you felt from them. People couldn’t walk past and meet your eye.

You were finishing your third strawberry when Tommy walked past, a man you didn’t know on his left shoulder. He took a look to your house and smiled on seeing you sat in a patch of sunlight, he waved, which you return, then he turns to the mysterious man on his left to say something before they start walking over.

“It’s good to see you out, honey,” He smiled, walking to lean over the railing of your porch, “What’cha got there?” He asked, motioning his head to your bowl of strawberries.

“You want one?” You asked, picking the bowl up and walking over to meet him, he gladly takes the biggest fruit in the bowl, pinching the spidery leaves off before putting the whole thing in his mouth, “How about you?” You asked, extending the bowl to Tommy’s mysterious companion.

He takes a strawberry as well, doing as Tommy did, but he takes smaller bites of the fruit, like he’s savoring it, “This here’s my brother Joel,” Tommy speaks, Joel extends his hand and you take it, shaking it softly in greeting, “He arrived a few weeks back, he’s been getting settled with his daught… with Ellie, but I thought it was high time he started pulling his weight.”

He had a smirk on his face as he said it and you could see the beginnings of a smile on Joel’s face too, “This one’s a real taskmaster,” You say to Joel, a smirk across your lips, “You’ll be wishing we had a retirement age soon enough.”

“Can’t think where he gets it from,” Joel chuckles, “You were takin’ notes all the time we worked together before weren’t you?”

Tommy smiles and nods, “Learnt from the best,” There’s another round of chuckles from the men, “Listen, we should get a move on, but I mean it, it’s nice to see you out like this.”

“Thanks Tommy,” You offer a small smiled, “Here, take a strawberry for the road.”

Both men take another fruit gladly before the way and make their way back down the street, leaving you on your own once more. You slide the sunglasses back onto your eyes and take your place in the path of sunlight on the bench. You sit there for a while, eating your strawberries, thinking about all the times you and your husband had done the same, holding hands as the sunset, cuddling up into his side when the temperature dropped. You realized suddenly that you weren’t sad. That the tears that usually threatened to fall were nowhere to be seen. Instead, there was just a feeling of happiness, grateful that you’d experienced love in a world where it had seemed impossible. Sure, you wished he would reach over and take your hand in his like he used to, squeeze it and place a soft kiss to your palm, but you were no longer ruled by the grief that had consumed you all those months ago.

“She seemed nice.” Joel muses as he walks with Tommy.

“She’s lovely,” He replies simply, “Just had a pretty rough time of it recently.”

Joel hums in acknowledgement as his boots hit the ground in time with Tommy’s, “When you said it was good to see her out, what did you mean?”

Tommy sighs at his question, but not out of frustration like he usually did when Joel asked him questions, more out of sympathy, “Her husband died about a year ago,” He begins to explain, “Nothin’ violent or anythin’ like that, the doctors reckoned it was cancer, but she took it real hard, I don’t think she got out of bed for the first week, and then after his funeral she just kinda withdrew, she’s been all alone in that house for months, refuses to leave unless it’s with Maria because people talk.”

“People talk about her?” Joel is shocked, in a world where loss in inevitable, what makes someone else’s grief less worthy than others?

“We’re safe here,” Tommy says, steering him into a building at the end of the street, “But that doesn’t mean people don’t die when they’re out there,” He references his patrol men, he’d lost a few which he would always hold heavy in his heart, “Maria told me once that when she took her to the market a few months ago, some busybody wives were talkin’ about how unfair it was she got to say goodbye, that he’d been sedated and it was easy for him.”

Joel stops in his tracks, letting Tommy walk in front of him. They’re in the gun store, not for anything in particular, just so Joel knows where everything is so he can stop following his brother round like a lost puppy. His mind inevitably wanders to his own grief in this moment. The pain of losing his own daughter, the all-consuming feeling of ‘what is the point in life anymore?’ without her. The scar on the right side of his face and the hearing loss in the same ear when he’d tried to end it all. He hadn’t been strong, not really. If he hadn’t of flinched that would have been it, the easy way out, as some would have said. He’d struggled for a long time with his survival but that didn’t mean his was worth more than your grief, or yours more than his. It wasn’t that simple.

“I spoke to them, told ‘em if I heard ‘em gossiping again then we’d have no issues moving them on their way, but I suppose people are always going to talk, they just do it where we can’t hear them.”

“I’m guessin’ she knows?”

“Of course she knows, Joel, that’s why she shuts herself away, easier that way I guess.”

“Doesn’t make it fair though, feelin’ like you can’t leave your house because people are gonna judge the way your husband died.”

“She’s been better recently,” Tommy speaks, leaning against the table behind him, “Still won’t really go anywhere without Maria, but seein’ her today, it was nice.” Joel nods his way through Tommy explaining the signing out system for guns, follows him around to the stables where he shakes the hand of the young girl in charge of caring for them and then settles himself next to his brother at the bar for a drink. All the while, he can’t stop his mind drifting back to you and your loneliness, your despair at your loss, or the rotten porch step he’d noticed at the front of your house that might just give him the reason to get a little closer to you.

A few mornings later, there is a soft knock at your door. Your face contorts in confusion, Maria wasn’t supposed to come until tomorrow. Leaving the coffee pot to its filtering, you walk slowly to the door, opening it to find Joel stood on your porch, toolbox in hand and planks of wood resting against the railing.

“Good mornin’,” He croons, “Not interrupin’ anythin’ am I?”

You shake your head, “Can I help you?” You asked, wincing slightly at the defensive tone of your voice.

“Well, I hope you don’t mind, but when I passed with Tommy the other day, I noticed your porch step was rotting,” He points to the old timbers behind him, “I’m surprised you’ve not fallen through it already, so do you mind if I fix them?”

Your exterior softens and a small smile pulls at your lips, “Of course,” You say, “I’m just making some coffee, do you want some?”

“If you don’t mind sharin’, then I’d love some.”

You leave him on the porch to get started. Your mug is already set next to the coffee pot, you open the cupboard and instinctively reach for the only other mug you ever needed. It had meant nothing to you when you moved in. It was white and had a pattern of sausage dogs printed on it, but it had always been his. You hold it in your hands when you realise what you’ve done. His face flashes behind your eyes. He’s standing in front of you, his hair tousled from sleep, his voice still low and raspy. He thanks you as he takes hold of his mug, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You set it back in the cupboard like it had burned your palms, reaching instead of the plain black mug at the back of the cupboard.

You rest your palms on the counter, closing your eyes to take deep breaths, feeling the weight of your body through to the ground. Once you don’t feel the wave of sadness flowing through you any longer, your quickly pour the coffee into the mugs, taking them out to the porch where Joel is currently working to take the rotten boards up, not that it’s taking much work, a little force from his hands and the wood in crumbling.

“Here you go,” You say softly, setting the mug down next to his toolbox, “I hope you don’t mind it black, I spent all my rations on strawberries this week, so no milk.”

“Just how I like it,” He says, looking up at you, “Thank you.”

You take a seat on the bench out front, it’s been a long time since you had the company of someone that wasn’t Maria or Tommy and it was nice to watch him work whilst you sat in the sun.

“Thank you, by the way, I didn’t realise it had gotten so bad,” You remark, and before you can think about what you’re saying, you add, “My husband always used to handle this stuff.”

You press your fingers to your lips as Joel’s movement still slightly, he knows what you’ve said, but he continues working, “It’s alright, this is what I used to do before all of this, so I’ve got an eye for rotting wood.”

“You were a builder?” You asked, desperate to steer the conversation away from your loss.

“I was, Tommy and I were contractors, worked on a bunch of different sites together, kinda annoying the world ended, we’d just booked a really big job, was gonna pay the bills and then some for once, my daughter had already spent the money on a trip to Disney.”

“Ellie?” You enquire, remembering the name Tommy had given.

He shakes his head as he sits back on his knees, coffee mug in hand, “No, she’s not mine by blood, she came along a lot later, I lost my daughter on outbreak day.”

“Oh,” You say simply, “I’m sorry Joel.”

“It’s alright,” He shrugs, taking a mouthful of coffee, “I struggled, for a long time, didn’t see how it was fair, but it’s been easier recently, all because of Ellie, and this.” He motions around to the town.

You’re silent for a while, your gaze flits between Joel working and the dregs of liquid in your cup. You understand in a way. The loss is different, but it’s loss all the same.

“What was his name?” Joel asks quietly as he’s rooting through his toolbox for some nails, “Your husband.”

“Mark,” You speak quietly, realizing quickly it was probably too quiet for him to hear, “His name was Mark.”

“Were you together long?”

“Eighteen years,” You answer, “He was my neighbour in the first QZ I was in, I’d lost my parents a few years before the outbreak so I was on my own, he moved in a year later and would always wake me up every morning when he stomped about to go to work,” You were smiling, recounting how you’d met, “One morning I’d had enough, I went right over there, pounded on the door and gave him what for. Said I was tired of waking up to the sound of his work boots every morning, and I guess the rest is history.”

Joel smiles as he reaches for his hammer, nailing in the new boards, “Love at first sight?” He asked, worried at first that it’s too personal a question.

“Something like that,” You offer in reply, “I guess it just kinda happened really, like most things do.”

There’s silence between you again as Joel hammers in the last of the nails. He stands up, pressing his full weight on the step, “All done,” He declares, shutting away his toolbox, “Don’t have to worry about you fallin’ through it now.”

You stand up to admire his handiwork, you must admit he was good at what he did. Efficient but thorough, the step had never looked so good, even when you’d first moved in, “Thank you Joel,” You place a hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze, “I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” He bends to pick up his coffee mug and hands it over to you, “Nothin’ else need sorting?”

“I mean, nothing that risks death or serious injury,” You jest, “But there is something you might be able to help with.”

You gesture for him to follow you through the house, setting the dirty mugs in the sink as you pass through. You open the back door and motion for him to join you. The garden is a mess, there’s no beating around the bush here. The grass is out of control, but that’s because you haven’t been able to go and get your gas ration for the lawnmower. The decking out back is fine, Mark’s handiwork in the year before he died, but you point to the unfinished table and chairs in the corner, or rather the pile of wood that never got to become the table and chairs.

“Mark was going to build some table and chairs, you know, so we could have guests over or sit out here in the evenings, but he got sick before he could really start,” There’s a lump in your throat now and you’re willing yourself not to cry, not now, in front of a man you barely know, but nothing you do can quell the feeling inside of you and a few tears fall down your cheek, “God, I’m so sorry,” You sniffed, “I’ve done so well not to do this today.”

“Hey, it’s alright.” Joel soothes, he pressed a firm hand to your shoulder for comfort but keeps his distance, which you are grateful for.

He gives you a moment to compose yourself, watching closely as you rub the tears from your eyes and take a deep breath, “It would just be nice to have somewhere to sit where people aren’t going to watch me.”

Joel’s heart almost breaks at your words. He doesn’t know you, not in the slightest, but the thought that you felt like you had to hide away, in your own community, the place that was meant to make you feel some semblance of normal, was preposterous to him.

“I’ll build you something, don’t worry,” He reassures, “Tommy has me on patrol for the next few days, but as soon as I can, I promise I’ll build you the best damn table and chairs you’ve ever seen.”

You laugh now, through the remnants of your tears, “Thank you.” Is all you can manage to say.

He’s turning around then, you go to follow him, but he stops in his tracks, eyes admiring the trellis against the back wall of your home, full in bloom of sweet peas, “These are beautiful.” He comments.

“They’re sweet peas,” You inform him, “Maria found the seeds for me, said something about it being good for me to have something to put my energy into,” You shrug, “I guess she was right.”

You reach out and pluck one of the deep purple blooms, “These are my favourites,” You say, turning the bloom over in your fingers before you hand it to him, he looks confused, “Sweet peas are meant to symbolize kindness and friendship,” You explain, “Also fond goodbyes, but I think kindness is more appropriate here.”

He takes the bloom and tucks the stem into the breast pocket, the petals of the flower peeking out where you can both see it, “Well then, thank you,” He nods, “I’ll see you soon, sweet pea.”

PREV | NEXT

#Pedro Pascal #the last of us #the last of us hbo #Joel Miller #Joel Miller smut #Joel Miller fanfic #Joel Miller fic #Joel Miller fan fiction #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fanfic #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x f!reader #Joel Miller Pedro Pascal #GOY

481 notes · View notes

magpiefngrl · 9 months ago

Text

writing patterns: last lines

I love the first lines meme, but what about last lines? I find them as vital as first lines, if not more. A first line should do a lot of things (indicate POV, tone, voice) while also catching the attention of the reader and inviting them to read on. But it can be invisible, just a way into the story, and that's perfectly fine because the story is what will amaze/impress/entertain the reader.

The last line, however, is the last impression: it can be a powerful punch, or it can be underwhelming. It's the vibe, the feeling, the aftertaste that the reader will carry with her when she closes the tab/book. It doesn't do as much work as the opening, but a really strong (or really weak) last line might colour what has come before.

For this game, instead of recent fics, I decided to check my longer fics; the last line of a longer piece of work sort of carries more weight, in my mind, idk.

Rules: write the last line of your 10 longest fics. What patterns can you see, if any? Which ones are your favourites?

Something I noticed: in my longer fics, I often have a short epilogue at the end of the story. Like a post-credits scene. I'm including both last lines for pattern-seeking. Also, a while ago, I'd done a before-during-after ask thing and posted some sequels at the end of a few fics. I debated using only the original ending here, but the sequel's last line is what will stay with readers, so I added both. Finally, The Boy Who Died has a coda but it's so long I'm treating it as a chapter.

I. 9 ½ Days (drarry, E, ~70k)

(story) Harry burrowed closer to him, eyes fluttering open. ‘You’re real.’ ‘I am.’ Draco tangled their legs together. It was snug under the covers. ‘Touch me and see.’

(epilogue) Harry took his hand and together they stepped forward into the green, living wood.

II. dirtynumbangelboy (drarry, E, 39.4k)

(story) ‘Home,’ Harry says, nuzzling Draco’s hair. ‘Take us home.’

(epilogue) He wants them to look smashing at the betrothal.

III. The Miseducation of Draco Malfoy (drarry, E, ~38k)

(story) Draco decided he would be happy to spend his life making Harry laugh, and thrust in.

(epilogue) “Let’s give them something good to talk about then,” Draco suggested, and Harry smiled, bent him backwards, and gave him a proper kiss, tongue and all.

IV. The Boy Who Died (drarry, E, ~27k)

Overthrowing the regime will take a miracle, Kingsley had said in the dark Edwardian manor. Draco had smiled at that and gazed at Harry. Indeed. Which is why we’ll win.

V. The Gift (drarry, E, ~26k)

Before [Draco] casts Nox, he takes a last look at his packed trunk, and then, in the whispering night, he allows himself to dream.

VI. Hush, darling (drarry, E, 23.6k)

But Draco holds Harry tighter — and doesn’t let go.

VII. The Unquiet Grave (drarry, E, 21.5k)

Draco glanced at Harry and smiled. ‘I’ll be fine. I have a bodyguard.’

VIII. Through the Looking Glass and What Draco Found There (drarry, E, 17.5k)

(original) This world was fucked up. It had pain and grief and sick people and dead people and stupid decisions and bad hair days and fear and regret—although it didn’t have Smith in leather gear, which was something. It also had Harry Potter, who buried his face in the crook of Draco’s neck, and who liked this Draco, the Death Eater Draco, and that made everything worth it.

(sequel) ‘Pull them down yourself,’ Draco said and kissed him.

IX. The Full Monty (drarry, E, 10k)

First, he goes to the kitchen to make sure Arthur is indeed alive — he is, nibbling at some seeds on the counter — but after that, yes, he goes straight to where Potter is waiting, hopefully all soapy and wet.

X. How to Court your Husband (drarry, E, 5,5k)

(original) Their escorts maintained a discreet distance when they arrived and saw what the princes were up to, and twenty minutes later in the palace courtyard, the Fountain spurted a jet of water the likes of which had never been seen before.

(sequel) Harry smiled and stroked Draco’s face. ‘We’re in no hurry, husband.’

Patterns

JFC. I like my epilogues and codas and sequels, don't I? Lord. I don't think I'd noticed it before as clearly as I do now. This isn't even everything: I actually started a coda for The Gift a while back, and I have a half-finished sequel scene for dirtynumb in my folders. I can just never leave off. But it's true: I do love epilogues.

I end with dialogue A LOT more than I start with it. First lines, I estimated a third of them are dialogue, but a good half of the endings are.

A large majority of my endings involve kissing or cuddling or touching in some way. Love language touch anyone?

There's a fair bit of Draco glancing at Harry and smiling.

In the two fics that have a sequel scene, the original ending is, imo, vastly superior to the sequel's. Hm.

Faves

I like the epilogue ending of 9 1/2 Days; the ending of Unquiet Grave, which works better I think in context; the rather poetic ending of The Gift; the original ending of Through the Looking Glass, which, imo, perfectly captures the theme; and the original ending of How To Court Your Husband, which is hilarious in context. Several readers commented on that one.

Tagging

I'll no-pressure tag @lettersbyelise @lqtraintracks @the-starryknight @skeptiquex @etalice @coriesocks @gracerene @citrusses @lower-east-side @hogwartsfirebolt @queenofthyme @writcraft @shealwaysreads @phdmama @stripedroseandsketchpads @sixappleseeds to get the ball rolling-- and of course YOU, reading this! Feel free to tag me so I can read your last lines, I'm ever so curious x

#last lines #drarry #writer memes #endings

115 notes · View notes

starculler · 9 months ago

Text

strap in for this week's fic flavor: the failsafe episode of season one of the young justice cartoon except the simulation just won't. fuckin. end.

(fics that inspired this at the end)

If I ever did sit down to make my own fic, I'd split it in 3 parts:

The Simulation: bits and pieces of the 40 years Dick lives after most everyone he knows has died

The Return: the immediate aftermath and healing from the trauma of having not-quite-actually lived a whole life only to wake up and find out it was all fake. nothing traumatizing about that whatsoever.

The Unintended Consequence: aka the twist I'd love to add and would hint to in the second part - finding out the simulation, through martian mind fuckery, pulled from the real world (and in many cases, from real minds). Dick meets a bunch of people he didn't think were real outside the confines of his simulated life. A bunch of rowdy, heroism-inclined teens across the years get to meet the sibling/friend/mentor figure they all dreamed up one night.

(actual idea snippets under the cut)

Dick Grayson is 14 and most of the world's heroes have died. He planned a suicide mission that left him the sole survivor of a doomed team he helped found. The invasion may have been stopped, but is this really the price he wanted to pay?

The first face he sees in the infirmary is Roy's, and he has to close his eyes and just breathe for a few minutes because for one painful moment he'd thought it was Wally. But this isn't the world where his best friend miraculously survived alongside him. This is the one where he got his best friend killed and didn't even give him the courtesy of following behind him. Behind them.

Dick Grayson is 27 and has lived longer without Bruce than with him. The invasion's anniversary is always a tough day for him, but that morning seems especially harrowing. He'll get shit for it later, but can't resist stepping out onto the balcony of the manor's master bedroom (Bruce's old bedroom) for a smoke -- his first since he'd promised to quit if Jason, just 15 then, did too.

"Bad habits tend to pile up," he'd said, a rueful quirk to his tired grin. He'd tapped the cigarette twice on the railing and added, lower, "and this one's especially nasty, huh."

He inhales, watches the sun creep across the horizon, and lets acrid smoke burn through his lungs for a long moment before blowing it out in a small cloud. His eyes water, but he doesn't cough. It tastes just as bad as it did the first time he smoked one, not even a year after the invasion and treading water as Robin proved insufficient.

There hadn't been enough heroes to go around then, and Dick had been trained by one of the best. It hadn't been fair, but it had been his plan that had ultimately stopped the invasion. His shoulders everyone's expectations fell on.

He takes another drag, then smudges the lit end against the rail he's leaned on when he hears a boot scuff purposefully against the roofing above him.

"Todd and Pennyworth will be upset with you."

He doesn't turn around. Damian doesn't jump down to join him.

Dick Grayson is 54 and wakes up in a room full of ghosts. He hears his long-dead father-figure tell his long-dead team about a simulation they weren't meant to win. A training exercise gone wrong and only half a day spent under their mentors' careful, if slightly panicked, supervision.

He looks at his hands, watching the way his gloves crease when he flexes them in and out of tight fists. He looks at his team, their eyes a little haunted but shoulders slumped with relief even as they grumble. Batman's heavy, gloved hand settles on his shoulder and the weight of it is a nauseating mix of foreign-familiar.

He opens his mouth. Closes it.

Tears prick his eyes behind his domino mask, and he tells himself the suffocating, acidic void building in his chest is just some leftover side effect of the ordeal and not the grief-guilt of outliving yet another family (no matter that they hadn't been real in the end).

Dick Grayson is 16-going-on-56 and well used to the coincidences piling up between his simulated life and the real thing. Some of it -- missions and villains he remembers cropping up -- he's marked for Bruce to review and sort as he pleases. Some -- security for the cave, team building anecdotes, and training regimens -- he's shared with the team. And some he keeps only for himself.

Tim is one of those. He knows it's not fair to the kid (so much smaller now than he ever was when Dick lived his simulated life), but he can't help being selfish just for this. Tim is the one kid he's sure he didn't make up, and if Dick's taken to babysitting the kid just to be near at least one member of the family he built for himself in the wake of the worst days of his life .... Well, anyone who says shit about it can happily stand in line to have their teeth kicked in.

Despite this, it still catches him off-guard when he sees a familiar face pop up in one of Bruce's reports.

Jason Todd, caught boosting tires off the batmobile, is nearly the same age now as he was when Dick met him. He stares at the words, but none of them really sink in beyond the kid's name and address. He's moving before he's even made the decision.

He's used to the world kicking him when he's down - lived it for 40 frustrating years. But he has Bruce again. And things with Tim have been so good. And he's always been selfish when it comes to family. If he could just see Jason. If he could just meet him. If he could talk to him.

If if if if if--

Inspirations:

Circles in Shattered Mirrors by InfinityIllusion

Fine (But Not Okay) by CharlotteDaBookworm

Verisimilitude by mutemelody

#young justice #young justice cartoon #batfam #batman #dick grayson #thoughts and headcanons #the heart wrenching inability to cope with the fact that you've lived a fully realized life #you've loved and lost and loved again in the face of every unending tragedy #until you've forcefully carved out this one little safe haven for yourself #only to be thrust back to the beginning of one of your greatest traumas - esp one you're partly responsible for!#gotta love it #anyway i am and always have been obsessed with dick grayson and no one can stop me #the simulation was fake but some psychic bs means real world elements filtered in #cue several children with weird dream-memories of half-lived experiences and a massive sense of deja-vu #when they wade into the superhero world #all i can picture is the spiderman pointing meme but it's the batkids at dick lol #my favorite idea is that once Dick gets his grubby hands on Jason and Tim it's all over from there #he's pulling late nights and researching and scouring facial recognition databases until he finds his kids #(he blurs the lines a lot when it comes to considering them his siblings vs kids #on the one hand they're not super far apart in age bar Damian #on the other he hasn't been a kid in any meaningful way since he was 14 and he very nearly raised half of them in some way #(plus side to an au is that i can space the ages out more as needed compared to the show haha)#jason and cass are firmly siblings close as they are to his age #steph tim and duke fluctuate depending on how in trouble or injured they are #i will die by dick being damian's dad tho lmao #babs is more platonic life partner than sibling but very firmly family regardless #this is the dick grabs on to any shred of family he can with both hands and drags them in kicking and screaming if he has to au

38 notes · View notes

threelionsgirl · 2 years ago

Text

kinda shy | ben chilwell

part II of pillow talk

request: “Pt 2 when they’re back in London and they both have distanced themselves from the cup?? AHHHH I just can sense chillys “oh I wanna show interest but I’m kinda shy and thinking about what she said” type thing. Like being cautious about his next move…, or her next move idk??? Either way this piece was incredible!!” warnings: none word count: 681 masterlist | requests are open!

After long physio sessions, Ben was finally home. The Club World Cup title and the trip to the Emirates were cool, the celebration was gigantic, but soon they had to return to London and with the return was also his physio routine after his knee surgery. A few days had passed, and his recovery was going well, but what really didn't get out of his head was his night with Y/N. He had her number saved on his phone and thought about calling or texting like he said he would, but every hour he would come up with something to do to put it off.

They had followed each other on Instagram and every now and then Chilwell was checking out her pictures and stories, but he found it kind of ridiculous because he had the mood to spend minutes of his day on Y/N's profile, but not to call her. Not that he didn't want to be with her again, he really wanted to show interest, but something was making him a little shy, wondering what she was going to say. He didn't even know if Y/N remembered him, maybe she got tired of waiting and could even be with someone else already.

He was sitting on the couch in his living room after having a nice shower with Oscar by his side. The dog was lying with his head on his owner's lap, receiving affection from one of Ben's hands. He stood like that for a while, his hand tingling, until he decided to fuck off and dial the number Y/N had saved there.

She answered on the second ring.

"Hello?" Her voice was soft on the other end of the line, Ben coughed weakly to allow his voice to come out.

"Hi, it's me." He scratched his throat, looking at Oscar as if asking for help.

"Me who?"

"Ben." He paused. She had to remember him. "Chilwell. Ben Chilwell."

"Oh, hi Ben." Chilwell wondered if Y/N was smiling as he said that. He would bet he was. The way she spoke his name gave the impression that she sketched a smile.

"Good to know you remember me." It was really good, almost a relief.

"Of course I remember, but I really didn't think you were going to call anymore."

"I'm sorry for the delay." He whined, hoping that wasn't the reason for the misfortune of all his chances.

"It's okay."

"I really wanted to call you, I really wanted to, but I still didn't know quite what to say." He gave a weak laugh, wanting to cut the tense mood, and I could swear Y/N let out a little air through his nose as well. "I get kind of shy sometimes, I didn't want to be a jerk." Ben confessed feeling his hands getting sweaty, he couldn't remember feeling so nervous, even more so talking to a woman he had already slept with once.

"Cute." Maybe she would have given him another smile, but it was what she said next that surprised him. "Well, I went to a Chelsea game last week, I looked for you, but you weren't there. I was thinking of calling you on Instagram, but since you said you were going to call, I was afraid I'd get dumped." Laughter. Ben laughed, too. He would never blow her off.

"Really? Did you look for me?"

"Yes."

Now he was really happy to hear that the interest was not just coming from one party.

"Unfortunately, I'm not playing because of a knee injury," he said.

"That's too bad."

"Yeah, I'll be out for a while longer." He lamented more to himself than to her. It was awful not to be able to play, but at that moment there wasn't much he could do. "But we can still watch. Do you want to go to the next game with me?"

"Sure!" Ben smiled at the speed and excitement Y/N used to answer. "I'd love to."

"Then I'll text you all the details, is that okay?"

"Yes, but only if you promise me you won't disappear again."

"I wouldn't even be crazy."

150 notes · View notes

wolfjackle · 20 days ago

Text

Today I needed to get out of the house for a number of reasons, mostly related to current events.

I hadn't slept well, mostly because I live with my Nana and she doesn't realize how loud her TV is when she falls asleep. Usually I can sleep through it, but not last night.

So I stayed in bed later than I like to. Woke up at a reasonable enough time, but stayed in bed on my tablet and phone for a while trying to fall back asleep before giving up on that.

And I really needed to get out of the house.

So I drove the thirty minutes or so to a hiking trail I like. There's two places I can park, and I chose the one that gave the longest walk. Didn't arrive until about 3 in the afternoon.

Well, where I live, it's full dark by 5:30. I knew I'd be cutting it close. But I wanted to do the full walk. All the way to the beach. Sit by the waves for a few minutes after some time alone in the woods.

It was glorious. I didn't care that I was wearing jeans and sneakers. That sand got all over me.

But, like I said. This was the long walk and you can already see night is setting in from the picture. I still had about a 2 mile walk through the woods to get back to my car.

Gorgeous woods, let me tell you. But still. It's getting dark fast.

I realized I probably messed up when I saw how dark the path was getting. When the sun was no longer visible above the trees.

So I sprinted down sections of the path until I was out of breath. Do you know how long it had been since I'd sprinted for no real reason but to do it? It was so much fun. I started by trying to get to the car faster. I kept going because it made me laugh.

There was no one around. The birds were singing their evening songs. And I was running down the trail in the growing dark.

The moon, visible the entire walk, kept getting brighter and brighter. Only half full, but shining bright enough to help with the setting sun.

I get near the end of the trail. The sun has fallen below the horizon, but you can still see it's light just above. And across from it shines the moon. It was breathtaking.

And standing on the edge of the water was another person. They don't see me, but they're watching the sunset and I want to pause and watch as well.

So I called out. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

She's surprised, but happy, to find someone else out just enjoying nature and a sunset. We watch together for a few minutes. Casual conversation about the view and the place we live. Compare different walks and places we like to go.

Then I go out on another limb. I say, "Current events are making me rethink some life choices."

Two hesitant sentences confirm we're both scared of the future with a Trump presidency. She's 84 and looks back on the past and is ashamed that this is what she's left with. But she grieves with me for being young and having to navigate the world we're about to enter.

Not in so many words. We talked around the issues mostly. Just wanting to luxuriate in a beautiful sunset, the knowledge that the ocean is unchanging and eternal, and that there will be life after this, no matter what happens.

But our anxieties sneak in.

As we walk the quarter mile or so back to the parking lot, it gets darker and darker. But the moon is bright enough to reflect of the water and cast shadows if you look.

(My phone brightened the photo. It was so much darker in person. And the moonlight reflecting on the water so much more beautiful.)

An owl hooted in the distance; she couldn't hear it (she spent time in an orchestra sitting next to the tympanis).

We never exchanged names. I considered it. Considered saying "I'm Wolf, by the way." But I didn't. I'm not sure why. And I'm not sure why she didn't either.

But it was beautiful. Standing next to a stranger. Watching a sunset. Discussing the big topics. And the small.

I spent maybe half an hour with her, but I don't think I'll ever forget it.

Nothing was fixed. The world is too big for that. But that moment of connection? It helped. It really, really helped.

#i honestly cannot express #how settled i felt getting back in my car #driving home in complete silence #no radio or music or youtube playing #just silence #human connection #sunset #ocean #beach #peace #i hope everyone gets to experience something similae #i hope such moments are commonplace in your life #it was absolutely lovely #i gave her hope for the future #and she reassured me that we're not alone #the world is scary #but people are people #humanity

13 notes · View notes

scarisd3ad · 17 days ago

Text

To the end and back | Daryl Dixon x fem!reader

Chapter twenty seven - I miss you, I’m sorry

Previous >> next

Masterlist

Taglist

[Warnings] - ANGST, guns, shooting, mentions of blood, cursing, normal twd warnings

Summary - after the world ended you were sure you’d never find love again but a certain archer catches your eyes and changes the entire trajectory of your life.

[A/N] - sorry this took forever to come out :(, also this is a little short, but I’m hoping to get chapter 28 out before any other fic updates so there’s a little more for you guys to read.

‘Home’

S3 ep 10

its late when I wake up the next morning, sunlight already is streaming into the prison. I can already hear the hustle and bustle of the other. normally I'd never sleep this late, I was adjusted to being jolted awake in a cold sweat terrified that I'd fallen asleep while on watch. Caseys no longer curled up next to me. I sit up stretching my limbs as I try and shake the tiredness from my body. once I feel awake enough to hold a conversation with someone else, I get up and make my way downstairs. everyone's sat around in a crooked circle, Glenns sat on the ground with a piece of chalk in his hand drawing out something on the concrete ground.

like a reflex my eyes immediately scan the room, searching for Daryl. within seconds I remember he left, my brain replaying every single memory from the moment he decided to leave, to when I had cried myself to sleep. my face drops as I stare down at my feet. my mind is racing so fast I can't even process what Glenn or carl are saying. all I can think about is Daryl, and the fact that I hate him for leaving me. I hated Daryl at first, I thought he was an asshole, then everything changed. I learned to love everything about him. Even when he would sit there with his arms cross just grunting responses at me, I still loved him. but now I just feel naive for ever thinking he was anything but an asshole.

I'm not pulled out of my own thoughts until I feel a hand rest against my shoulder. my head jolts up to see Glenn standing Infront of me. my brows pull together in a furrow as he asks, "are you alright?" I nod my head almost overenthusiastically as I say "no, no I'm fine, just um...I'm a little tired. y'know?" he takes a sharp breath in as his brows furrowed. he stared at me for a few quick seconds as if he was searching for any sign that I was lying. "Well, I'm...I'm going down into the tombs. if you need anything just ask someone."

about an hour and a half later I'm sat up in my cell, like I had been since Glenn had gone down into the tombs. Casey was sat by my side the whole time, unwilling to leave my side no matter how much I begged her to go get something to eat. her head leaned against my side, only ever whispering something every 20 or 30 minutes. it was always something about Daryl though, 'I miss Daryl' or 'Daryl said he'd come back' or 'why did he leave' all just repeated questions I had already answered a million times over again. "He said he was coming back" she muttered under her breath as her arms angrily crossed over her chest "why'd he lie?" I let out a sigh as I look down at her "he didn't lie just something happened that made him change his mind" I can almost hear her brain tick, tick, ticking as she came up with some kind of response. "If my momma and daddy came back, I wouldn't leave you...id make them stay with us"

I turn my body towards her. I push a piece of her blonde hair back behind her ear as I say "it's different. your mom and dad I bet were really good people, but Daryl...his brother he's a mean guy. and we don't want mean people living with us, do we?" she nods before saying "is Daryl mean? because he left?" I shake my head before cupping her face in my hands and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead "No baby. Daryl he just...he wanted his brother to be happy. and he's the happiest with Daryl"

a series of stomps up the stairs and towards our cell makes both our heads turn towards the cell door to see Glenn standing in the doorway. I can tell he's angry by the look on his face and the way his fists are clenching and unclenching. "c'mon you're coming with me" my brows furrow as I look up at him. I push myself to the edge of the bunk before standing up, "where?" I ask as I placed my hands on my hips. "Just out" he muttered under his breath. "What why?!" I exclaimed, he takes a deep breath before saying "there has to be a hole somewhere in the fence, I need to find out how these walkers are getting in." Glenn was going to get himself killed. He was trying to prove something to himself, more than us, that he's capable, that he'll be a good second in command now that Daryl's gone.

Are you coming with me or not?" I let out a sigh before looking back at Casey, who was still sitting on the bottom bunk, silently watching our conversation take place. "fine" I muttered. Glenn silently nodded before immediately leaving the cell. I struggled to follow him as he speed-walked down the stairs and out of the prison.

Are you coming with me or not?" I sighed before looking back at Casey, who was still sitting on the bottom bunk, silently watching our conversation take place. "fine" I muttered. Glenn silently nodded before immediately leaving the cell. I struggled to follow him as he speed-walked down the stairs and exited the prison.

Hershel follows us out. Glenn attempts to ignore him, just continuing to walk towards the truck. "Glenn?" Glenn doesn't even pause his stride; I turn back towards Hershel, giving him an apologizing shrug before continuing to follow after Glenn. "Glenn!" Hershel shouts this time. Glenn finally stops, staying paused for a short few seconds to show Hershel just how angry he was before slowly turning towards the old man. Hershel hobbles himself over our way before Glenn decides to meet him in the middle to continue the conversation.

"You're not going back to Woodbury, are ya?" Hershel asks, Glenn stays quiet for a second before muttering "No, I'm just goin' out there" Glenn is just mad at the world right now, he is not only angry that what happened to Maggie happened, but he's also mad at himself for letting it happen. This whole mission is just to prove to himself that he's not weak. Prove to Maggie he's not weak. "I'll go with ya'll." Glenn shakes his head, muttering "We've got it" before turning around and beginning to walk back towards the car.

"By yourselves. How could you two possibly think that's a good idea?" Hershel asks, Glenn stops before turning back towards Hershel. "I can't just sit on my hands." I stay frozen behind Glenn, choosing not to take part in this argument between the two. "You went on a simple formula run and got the crap beat out of you. Maggie was attacked." Glenn leans forward, shouting, "You think this is my fault?" Hershel shakes his head "no" but there's no talking Glenn down now that he thinks Hershel's blaming him. He just continues to shout, "I did what I could!"

I step forward placing a hand on Glenn's shoulder "C'mon Glenn let's just go" I whisper, he shakes his head before slapping my hand off his shoulder "NO! he's trying to fucking-" I grab his shoulder tight enough so he can't slap it off this time before cutting him off "no he's not, just go get in the fucking car" Glenn lets out an angry puff of air before pushing past me to the car.

"Why are you goin' with him?" Hershel whispers once Glenn slams the car door shut. Glenn was going to go no matter what I said. There was no talking him down or telling him not to do something. "he's gonna do it no matter what I say, s'better if I go with him. Make sure he doesn't get hurt."

When I get in the truck, I see Glenn with his arms angrily crossed over his chest. Once the door is shut, he mutters, "So you're on his side?" my brows furrow in confusion "What? what the fuck are you talkin' about Glenn?" he rolls his eyes before muttering "Forget about it" and beginning to drive off.

We've gone about halfway around the entire prison, and there's still no sign of a hole. Glenn has the window down and his head stuck out the window, desperately trying to search for a hole in either the fence, the building, or both. "Come on, Glenn, there's no- " I'm cut off by the sound of gunshots.

Pow, pow, pow!

It's too close to be chopped up as some survivors in the town nearby, both Glenn and I pause staring at each other almost as if we're asking each other if we really heard that or if we were making it all up in our heads. The pause is stopped by the sound of more gunshots that immediately make Glenn turn the truck around. We're speeding back towards the front of the prison. We both already know who it is. We pulled back up to the front, seeing that a large truck had run the gate down. There's a group of Woodbury men, including Philip, shooting right along the tree line.

Right as were drive back into the prison, we see Hershel stand up, attempting to limp himself towards safety. Glenn makes a beeline towards him, quickly parking the car and running out to help the elderly man. Michonne also runs towards Hershel, helping him up and to the car before we drive off towards the second gate. It seems like the gunfire has stopped once we've cleared the second gate.

I hop out of the car, taking in the scene in front of me. Axel laying lifeless on the ground, a gunshot wound straight through his head, Carol covered in blood with Casey lying limply in her arms. My heart slams against my chest as I try to make sense of it all. Why would he shoot her? How could he shoot her? She was just a little girl. She was innocent. She had no part in what we had done in Woodbury. She didn't deserve this.

Taglist

@rivversin @soul4death @furiousheartpoetry @silicone-bonez @nezukos-number1fan @jai-lovely @maziejay08 @oi-itse @rhaenryawhore @kimbunnysstuff @blipblopper @ramielll @ilyhannah @daryldixonnn @delicatebearpandaopera @daryldixmedown @duckybird101 @0-imjusthere-0 @tanuki-tsuki

#fanfics #x reader #fem!reader #the walking dead #the walking dead x reader #daryl dixon #daryl dixon x fem!reader #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon x f!reader #daryl dixon x reader

18 notes · View notes

mentallyshattered · 1 year ago

Text

This is part 3 of the "What if Yuu didn't want to go back?" Series!

(I, the author of this work, do not consent to this work being crossposted/translated without my knowledge or used to train an AI, ever.)

Masterlist

"Myaah, keep going!"

"Non, chat. You no longer need to be brushed. Vil, how is Yuu's hair coming along?"

Vil sighs. I've noticed he does that a lot. "Not as well as I thought, Rook. Even though the top layer was absurdly thick, the lower layers don't look much better. This is going to take longer than I expected."

I look up and into the mirror in front of me. Vil has cut my hair short, but the process of detangling the remaining mat of hair has caused the detangled hair to be noticeably longer than what's still a total mess. I'd say the hair he's worked through is about 4 inches, just long enough to cover my ears.

"Say, Monseur Mystery, how did you guess Monseur Chat's name?"

"Well..." I hesitate. Even now, the thoughts of his death still hurt. "When I was living in my world, I found a cat. He was my only friend. He was an alley cat, but chubby- not in a concerning or limiting way, just in a cute way- and he was grey with a large patch of white fur on his front, and his tail faded into black at the end, and... he had polydactly. I think that's what it's called, at least. Do you guys know what that is?"

"Nope!" Grim's reply is cheerful, like an island of comfort in a sea of mourning.

"Well, it's a condition where your limbs split off into multiple limbs. So, a two-tipped finger or extra toe or something. Well, my cat had it on the end of his tail. It looked, " I pause, reaching my hand toward Grim and trying, failing, to hold back tears. "Into three. A trident tail, just like this." I'm holding his tail in my hand now, careful, like he might break just as my voice is doing now. I can hardly speak through the lump in my throat, but I can speak.

"A-and that cat's name was Grim. And he was hit by a car when he was eight, and I've never been the same." I'm crying now, my eyes reduced to floodgates and my voice to a wreck. Vil is hugging me, his arms bringing some sense of safe to me, but that sense of safe pales in comparison to the comfort of holding Grim in my arms. His fur is soft, much softer now that he's been brushed, and Rook has joined the hug.

We stay there, just like that, for what feels like forever. Vil's arms are strong around me, as are Rook's, and I'm holding Grim again, and I don't want to lose him again. I can't. I barely survived the first time; I can't survive a second. The guilt would kill me.

"I guessed his name, too. I didn't know how. It just felt right. But... Yuu, you kind of remind me of someone. Another human. He fed me in my dreams, and his name was Yuu, and we were great friends, but one day he just stopped showing up. I never saw him again." Grim's previously sad face brightens a little, like a tea candle with just enough air to burn. "You look a lot like him, but older. Maybe... maybe he was you."

The tears come back. I let them. This time, they're happy tears, and Grim is crying them, too. Vil allows a few more minutes to pass, just like that, before he lets go and resumes his task of unmatting the other half of my hair. Rook pulls away, too, and waves his magic pen.

A tape measure, like you see tailors using in movies, appears in the air in front of him for him to wrap around my waist with skillful hands. Soon, he's removed the tape measure from my waist in favor of wraping it around my chest, and then my arms, and then Vil tells him off for doing something unnecessary.

I laugh. "Say, Monseur Mystery, have you tried to use magic since you arrived?"

I ponder. "Not really."

Rook chuckles. "Facinating."

"Are you okay with others being let into the room, Yuu?" Vil's voice is soft and soothing. I'm a little jealous, but who cares?

"Go right ahead." The lump in my throat is gone now that Grim is purring happily in my arms, just enjoying the sensation of being pet. Rook leaves the room- still holding his tape measure, I notice- and the door shuts behind him. Surprisingly, I don't hear his footsteps as he walks away, even before the door is closed and blocking my view.

Less than a minute later, the door opens again, revealing Rook, Korrak, and Korrak's familiar, whose name I do not yet know. Rook waves his pen, cleaning the cat brush with magic, and starts brushing the strange oppossum as he brushed Grim.

"Hey, what's your name? I'm Grim!"

"Call me Mandible."

Well, I guess I have a name to go with both of my roommates now. Unlike Grim, Mandible needs only a few minutes of brushing before his fur is even and soft, at which point Rook measures him, waves his pen, and voilá: five small stacks of clothing appear on the counter.

"What are those?" Mandible is already poking at the piles by the time he thinks to ask. I wasn't expecting Mandible to be more talkative than Korrak, but I guess Grim and I are no better.

"Uniforms! The white one is a lab coat for alchemy, the violet one is a dorm uniform, the one next to the lab coat is a PE uniform, the one next to the dorm uniform is a school uniform, and the one in between the dorm clothes and lab coat are some ceremonial robes. All are sized exactly for Monseur Opossum, of course." Rook looks quite proud of himself.

"Myaah, neato! Do I get some?"

"But of course, Monseur Chat! If you'll allow me a moment..." Rook starts measuring Grim just like he did with Mandible, and Vil lets out a triumphant "Hah!"

"Finally conquered my hair?"

"Not entirely, but I'm done with the hard part." With this, Vil pulls out a brush- not a cat brush, just a regular human brush- and starts running it through my hair in a soothing rhythm. Tired from the short day's events, I allow it to lull me to sleep.

#tw pet death #tw pet loss #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst vil #twst rook #twst grim #m!yuu #twst yuu #tw mentions of death #tw suicidality #what if yuu didn't want to go back #part 3

31 notes · View notes

zhnnveuxpasdrmir · 8 months ago

Text

Trying to explain that this quiet, braided anthology of short-short, thought variant, actor driven one-offs is a must-see breakthrough teleplay, a timeless masterpiece!, a work of explicable magic.

I was one of the six people in the world that actually saw this in 2010, but I'd only caught a few bits of it at the time. They were arresting as hell. It's exciting to finally get a chance to appreciate it now, due to the grisly stupidity of all corporate media conglomerates, and the ease of getting high quality archives of unfairly treated past media anonymously on the dark web, along with heroin and guns! 😁

I liked how The Booth At The End examines the fallacies inherent to popular reads of morality, and somehow criticizes specific religious cultures without once mentioning any of them, or admitting to any particular central framework by name. The script is rooted in widely understood monotheist ethics.

It's unrepentant, dour, merciless, and openly, loudly, glaringly deceptive in its candor.

Xander Berkeley. Holy shit. was just unbelievably powerful on this show. Every actor turns in a lifetime achievement award worthy scene, but mr Berkeley is just: setting your disbelief aside, so casually! You believe. The unthinkable is thoroughly plausible in these weency, handy little scenes that.... feel longer. You'll think it was an hour. It was like six minutes.

I don't know fully why this isn't a better known show! Maybe it's too hard to face. If you have an interest in the craft of acting, in show, this little one-sitting binge demonstrates expert theatrical film making.

And these goddamn endings will fuck you up for life!

so here's my theory on the Man, Doris, and the doom of human kind:

oh he's certainly not the Devil. He's a creation of G-D though for sure. As is Doris.

If he has to be a specific character from the stories, he's The Christ, not exactly The Messiah, but something a lot more like christian Jesus if he'd lived on since Resurrection, only through a magical realism lens instead of a worshipful one. The Man is aware of what G-D is, knows it's not what humans think it is. Some say "the wandering Jew" but no: this is not and never was a human.

if Doris has to be a specific character from the stories, she's Satan, or a fallen angel, but let's be real, G-D's ex-favorite, luring the new boy away from G-D's detachment, and into "the trap". I don't agree with the above article in thinking it ended too soon, it ends exactly where it should, where it has to.

because that demand Doris makes is real, and it's one that our planet's conception of G-D has always, always failed. She's right to state this demand, and the Man must comply. Both of them will be literally destroyed by the task. This is shown over and over in both seasons.

The Booth At The End is a genius series of stage teleplays that criticizes flaws in popular conceptions of G-D, how it distorts our perceptions, and how those distort our experience of need. Each "normal" character symbolizes a specific 'mistake' or foible; each supernatural character represents an attempt, by 'history' ambition institution or spiritual quest, to understand and eliminate those errors. The two seasons are a diptych demonstrating respectively How and Why we are trapped forever in a Hell of our own device. 🌞❤️

#xander berkeley #the booth at the end #stoned uncle recommends #this will end up being the only faintly important thing I ever wrote #lol #christian mysticism

6 notes · View notes

destielholmes · 1 year ago

Text

DARKNESS 6 - Part 2

It was getting warmer by the second, my t-shirt was starting to glue to my body, and I just wanted to rip my jacket off. Isaac remained next to me, which confirmed his family was behind his appearance. I was happy he engaged with my little conversation – even if it was just a bit, even if his family made him be by my side – it still made me happy.

While I was struggling with my inability to control my discomfort from the heat and thought Isaac's little stay would end after I had my lunch, he proved me wrong as he told me to follow him outside. I tried to hide my sweating body from my parents as we walked outside. The faint breeze hit my face, which made me melt. I opened my jacket slightly to welcome it in, but it wasn't enough to satisfy my dehydrating body. The taste of the sweetness of the air made me want much more. I want to show you something. He told me as he watched me dissolve within the breeze. Heat wasn't a concern anymore, as he captivated me. I followed him, keeping a safe distance, afraid to scare him off with my voice or annoy him with my figure, I remained invisible. I wanted to explore his little world.

Through the trees we've been that same morning, skipping the blood that the ground drank, he took me away from my safety and closer to my desire. We walked for a while, the same skinny trees kept the landscape on our horizon, but I didn't know anymore where we were. I was lost in that forest, with only my captor to lead me out.

Whilst the fog seemed to be long gone, the heat kept rising, and I couldn't keep my composure. I had to show him again the marks he left on me, and I was afraid he would leave me. I took my jacket quietly, not to disturb his newfound patience. I tied my enemy to my waist and kept the pace. This far away from the house my parents wouldn't see.

When the trees started to fade a new place came to view. Much like my little friend, back at the old house, this one also shone to the sun. But unlike my little friend, Isaacs friend was much bigger, tranquil and unmoving. Down in a small quarry, surrounded by trees, was a lake. The water wasn't pristine blue, but I could still perceive the fish swimming around. A wooden deck was built at the side we came up through, which had a few things laying around, asserting it wasn't abandoned. Isaac helped me down past the rocks and to the lonesome deck. Down there, the air stood still, no wisp of breeze, only peace remained.

Isaac pulled off his shirt, forcing me to stop my cheeks from redden, averting my eyes from him. One more minute and you'll melt. He jumped in the greenish water, making it come to life. He wasn't wrong, I almost looked like I had already disturbed the quiet lake.

I took the jacket away from my waist and dropped it with the rest of the clutter, like he did, and jumped after him. The water wasn't too cold, just enough to take my warmness away. I opened my eyes to see the greenness void. I felt his movements though the waives he made. If I could've held my breath longer, I would have felt all of them. I came up to the surface where Isaac was waiting for my approval. I giggled with ecstasy, and he smiled – for the first time. I made certain to carve it into my memory, so I wouldn't forget this moment. He made me want to live so I could hope for another moment like that.

He turned around, diving into the new movement of the water; I followed. I'd dived deep into it, so I could touch the ground, to understand that it was real. Resurfacing with a found spirit of existence, I let out a scream of joy, that was answered with another scream from Isaac. It was pure bliss, another human communicating with me. Could I be normal too? I felt butterflies in my belly, coldness at the surface of my skin, I felt the air I was breathing... I was alive.

We laughed at our stupidness. I danced in the water, as the leaves danced in the air. I forgot about me.

I couldn't tell how long we stayed floating around, I wondered if I could stay there forever, but my wrinkled-up fingers told me no.

Isaac helped me out of the water, as the weight of my clothes pulled me back in.

I told him that was the most thrilling thing I've ever done. He smiled and handed me a chair. We sat in the sun's direction, waiting for the heat to hunt us again. We felt like completely different people. I wondered if he would let me be his friend. I stole a glimpse of him – water drops shining with the sunlight, glued to his body, others fleeing to the wooden floor. The image of the innocent young boy was being erased from my mind, replaced with him. His cut curls, his new framed features, his frowning face, his muscly body, his pleasant voice... I wanted to drown within him and his peculiarity.

I'm sorry. He spoke. I would have responded if I wasn't drunk with him. The bruises. He clarified. I wasn't sorry. They would keep you with me for as long as they dwelt. I told him not to worry, that I would keep them away from my parents.

He explained that it wasn't his intention to hurt me. I was afraid. He murmured.

I smiled, amused at his statement, and asked if he was afraid of me. He looked back at me – of course.

I pushed him for a reason, and although he didn't want to respond at first, he eventually told me. You took away my freedom.

Author's note: Thank you for reading! Btw I've edited all chapter on wattpad and fixed some spelling errors. I encourage you to read it all again because it's been a while too. Don't forget to support the story, like and comment. I would also appreciate if you could vote on the chapters on wattpad. Thank you!!

← 2.5 MASTERLIST 2.7 →

#tom holland #tom holland vampire #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fan fiction #vampire #horror #horror story #vampire story #romance #romance story #tom holland romance #thimothee chalamet #holland #timothee chalamet x reader #timothee chalamet fanfiction #timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet

7 notes · View notes

pukanavis · 9 months ago

Text

Plum Blossoms and Snowflakes | Plum Blossom 2

Madara: “A big thanks to everyone for coming to our live today~!”

“Let’s get excited and stop Mayoi-san from needing to repeat a year, woo-hooo ☆”

Mayoi: “Madara-san, I would appreciate it if you didn’t say that so loud…”

Eichi: “Yes, there’s no need to raise your voice. I’ve had speakers installed so that you can be heard all throughout the school.”

“In fact, we’re broadcasting across the entire world ♪”

Mayoi: “Hyaah! D-Did you say the entire world!?”

“This is too much shame for me to handle, I want to crawl into a pit…!”

Niki: “Mayo-chan, Mayo-chan. Before you go hiding in a pit, can you do me a favour?”

“I’m feeling hungry, so would you go backstage and grab me something to eat?”

Mayoi: “Huh? But we’re in the middle of a show!?”

Niki: “I’m a danger when I get hungry, I’ll go on a rampage if this doesn’t get fixed!”

“If you won’t go backstage then I’ll just have to eat you instead!”

Mayoi: “Uhm, Shiina-san, I’m not food?”

Niki: “Nyahaha, that mouth-watering scent I’m picking up says otherwise~”

“Can I take a bite? Just a finger will do!”

Mayoi: “Ah, please get away from meeee!”

Mayoi: —What if it ends up like that…!? Aaah, just thinking about it makes my stomach churn.

Akiomi: Why would you ever pick those people?

Mayoi: I thought it would be better to imagine the worst possible scenario.

Akiomi: I see. Well, Mikejima-kun and Tenshouin-kun have already graduated, and Shiina-kun isn’t even a student here so the combination you’ve thought of is entirely irregular…

Besides, you don’t need to form a team entirely with strangers. Don’t you remember? I said I’d prefer you to find people you don’t interact with often if possible.

I assure you, there’s students out there that want to help you. Even if it has only been half a year, you must have formed some sort of bond with the others.

I’m eager to see what you’ll do, Ayase-kun.

Time: A few minutes later

Mayoi: —I’ll excuse myself then.

(How pathetic of me. I’ve been living carefree without any concern for how my credits have been faring.)

(I need to find people outside of ALKALOID that I don’t regularly talk to…I could ask Narukami-san or Kagehira-san, couldn’t I?)

(The idea of working with people I’m not close to is terrifying, so I can’t even begin to muster up the courage to approach anyone.)

(But I have to form a temporary unit in order to graduate. If I end up having to repeat the year—)

(...That reminds me, Ritsu-san mentioned how he had to repeat a grade.)

(He said it wasn’t entirely a bad thing.)

(Although I’ve been enrolled at Yumenosaki for three years, I’ve only been attending like a ‘real’ student would for six months or so.)

(If I repeated a grade, I could remain a student for one year longer…)

(I might even be able to create the memories I longed for to make my own graduation album.)

(Not to mention, I’d be in the same class as Hiiro-san and Chief—)

Mayoi: (Ah, I forgot about Chief! If I graduated, he’d be left all alone in the Ninja Club!)

(Aah, I couldn’t possibly abandon him like that!)

(I don’t know what I'd do with myself if I put him through such misery…!)

(...)

Mayoi: (...I’m terribly sorry, Kunugi-sensei, but I’m going to surrender myself to the course of fate. I’ll repeat another year without resistance.)

(For someone as socially-inept as me, forming a temporary unit was a lost cause from the very start.)

(This is the best choice. I’m sure of it.)

Back | Next

#mayoi

6 notes · View notes

justsoohi · 2 years ago

Text

Playing Cards - They Stand Shoulder to Shoulder 6

One day, right before the live concert...

Aira: I'm glad the roses are still in full bloom~♪

Mayoi: I had to leave the other day. So I'm glad I could visit here again before the live... ♪

Tatsumi: There are only a few more days until the show, and i'm just about to wrap up my lessons, so today is a good time for me to refresh.

Hiiro: Umu. Today, I want to look around at all the different kinds of roses!

Aira: well... we all studied about "Alice in Wonderland" for the live, right?

That's why I think the "Trump Soldiers" tried to paint such a beautiful white roses to red, and I can't help but think that's why the Queen must've been that scary.

Tatsumi: Learning expands the world you can see. Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise that this was the right time to enjoy the rose garden.

Mayoi: We are about to enter the maze, how will we proceed?

The other day, when I got separated from hiiro-san, I searched for a map of the maze in a hurry and looked at some that were available on the Internet..

Right after the starting point, there seems to be several routes.

It seems that no matter what path you take, you will reach your goal...

Hiiro: It's about whether we all go down one path, or whether we go down one path individually.

If everyone can reach the goal in the end, I think it would be interesting for everyone to take different paths.

Aira: I'm a little worried about getting lost.......

But if it's not a dead end, one person at a time is fine.

Tatsumi: Well then, since we are here, let's split up and move on. The stage composition of the new song we are going to perform at the live performance is like that too.

Mayoi: Ah, now that you mention it...

Aira: Then it's decided? See you all at the finish line♪

Hiiro: (....Fumu. Have I made good progress so far? )

(Since the estimated time required for the attack is about 15 minutes, if I keep going at this rate, I should be able to reach the goal eventually)

....by the way, these roses are really beautiful. It really makes me feel like I've wandered into a wonderland.

What a brave girl Alice is, even though she suddenly got lost in a world she didn't know, yet continued to have adventures!

....How was I?

(When I came to the city from my hometown, everything I saw was full of unknowns, and I was bewildered because I didn't know anything about common sense in the city)

(At that time, I had a strong will and purpose to bring my brother back to our hometown. I wasn't afraid of anything)

(I no longer have to serve the purpose of those days, but...)

(It is because I realized how immature I was this time. I don't want to lose the passion and sense of mission that drove me back then)

(To have a strong will to push forward to fulfil something...)

(I want to burn the passion that was in me back then for "ALKALOID" and in order for me to grow even more as an idol)

...I think I'll talk to everyone later. I want my thoughts to be heard, and I want everyone to give me their opinions.

I want to become a better leader by listening to their opinions..♪

Mayoi: Ah, hiiro-san! over here!

Hiiro: Hmm? I thought I'd reach the goal alone, but it was it possible for us to meet

Mayoi: Yes. It seems that the roads that were divided are now connected to form a slightly open space.

I don't know if you all passed, and I could have gone ahead by myself.

But if possible, I would like to share the road to the goal with you all—

Aira: Oh? If Hiro-kun and Mayo-san are here, does that mean we are at the goal?

... or not, it's still full of roses in all directions. What are you stopping for?

Hiiro: We're not standing still. We're waiting for everyone to come together.

It's more fun to walk the road to the goal together and to be together when we reach it

Isn't that right, Mayoi-senpai?

Tatsumi: —That's right, Mayoi-san♪

Aira & Mayoi :Ugyah!?

Tatsumi: Because I could just see the backs of Aira-san and Mayoi-san. I tried to go along with the story I heard.

Aira: What the heck? I was surprised~ Tatsun-senpai is sometimes mischievous, isn't he?

Mayoi: Huu~h, I thought my heart was going to jump out of my mouth...

Tatsumi: Fufu. I didn't mean to surprise you that much^^

Even so, the fact that everyone was able to reunite here means that the goal is already near.

Hiiro: I'm sure. There are five roads stretching from this maze, and everyone came out of four of them...

There is only one way to reach the goal from here♪

Mayoi: So, if the four of us had proceeded together, we would have faced four separate paths in this place...?

Aira: So it was the right decision to split up and move forward ♪

Tatsumi: I hope all that's left is to go down one road to the finish line.

It's a wide maze, so I suspect that there's some trick left behind.

Hiiro: Considering the time, we should be at the finish line soon. Even if there are tricks, even if the path is complicated, let's all go ahead together.

No matter what difficulties await us, as long as the four of us are together, we should be able to overcome them♪

Aira: Haha, that's kind of a cool thing to say. Then let's get Hiro-kun in the lead....

Hiiro: Umu, let's march to the finish line.. the four of us...♪

Prev || Next

0 notes

ashitomarisu · 2 years ago

Text

I'm Standing on a Million Lives (Final Thoughts)

Remind me again what the hell was supposed to be the main plot?

Listen. I thought it would take longer to do this post but after watching the last three episodes, my mind has been made up: COVID AFFECTED THE SERIES PRODUCTION SO FAR UP ITS ASS THE WRITING AND DIRECTION AWKWARDLY STRUGGLED TO STAY ON TRACK.

This conclusion came to be after a few things:

The concept sounded interesting but the Game Master felt vague in almost every episode

Adding in new characters out of nowhere without much context or expansive backstory/lore

obvious production hell under a pandemic and such

the last few episodes of the second season just...IDK what the hell happened but it seems rushed or certain key plot points were axed at the last minute due to time restraint

Now, let me take a moment to address something else. Despite the music being actually pretty good, I feel like incorporating music talents from a label like Lantis was a risky/dick move.

How so? Sure, the staff thought it would be nice to give Kinchan an opportunity to have her songs be used for anime OP/ED since her solo artist debut was in the fall of 2020. However, I REALLY REALLY don't think the music fits well to this series. (Heck, Liyuu could have been better off with her music in another anime tbh).

Anti world may sound fitting lyrically and arrangement-wise but the quality of the song is TOO GOOD to be in an anime with questionable writing and direction. Same goes for Subversive, which I LOVE to pieces; the ending sequence...I just don't get why they hyped such a character when she is barely in the anime.

For once, I actually want to question Anime News Network about the rating for this because both seasons had pretty decent to high ranks for it.

-------

Although, if there's one idea that had me begging for its own anime spinoff, YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'D LIKE TO SEE MAJIHA SISTERS.

YOU WENT AND MADE AN HOMAGE TO PRECURE IN EPISODE 11 AND LITERALLY GONE FULL THROTTLE WITH THE IDEA ONLY TO NOT MENTION IT AGAIN THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE.

What a tease, but such an opportunity if they gave a damn. It's too bad the cast in the first season didn't return for S2.

(Unfortunately, this may never happen since A) supposedly, the second season did so poorly to not garner another season and B) Game Master teased the "Majiha Purple Murder Case" in a preview during the end of one of the episodes.)

(BTW, the ISML fandom apparently hates Yuka but she was the only character (other than Glenda or even the Majiha Sisters) to pique my interest, which obviously tells you something)).

---------

Overall, this suffered the same ordeal as Healin Good Precure with the direction and writing being heavily affected due to the crisis; had this been delayed to late 2021 or last year, MAYBE the quality could have improved? To recommend it would be a bold faced lie, but if you're REALLY curious, read the manga first before tackling the anime adaptation. (I made that mistake...btw).

Not even the four Aqours seiyuus could save this...

------

With that, thank you for being patient. My job hasn't been so damn kind lately and not an opportunity has come yet to leave this hellhole of a skeleton crew. The WHEEL OF WATCHES really decided to pull such a trap on me, but this also means better choices are ahead. What will this contraption choose for me in April?? Stay tuned in three weeks to find out. Until then, here's hoping you don't end up being summoned by its star crotch to become a farmer.

#no seriously why is it drawn this way?!#2023 anime watch #i'm standing on a million reasons why this needs a hell of a lot of revisions to the script #i'm standing on a million lives

0 notes

devsmuses · 8 months ago

Text

in ezra's mind he hadn't been sure what their week together would look like. he knew what he'd wanted it to be like. he'd hoped to essentially play house with the other; it was probably the only opportunity they'd get to be alone together for this amount of time. their night in the hospital together had given his mind more material to be delusional with. rationally he knew the minute that night was over and the medication had no longer been clouding joel's judgement that they'd be back to their restrained behavior whilst with one another. it'd been only a few days since that night and things already felt different between them. it wasn't like anything downright bad had happened or like they'd fussed with one another; it felt more like joel was in his own little world and ezra was just there. he could chalk it up to the other not feeling well, but he had a feeling that wasn't the only reason things felt strained in this manner. he didn't want to bring it up because that would mean acknowledging it which would in turn make it real, but it also didn't feel great to let things hang in the air and cause some sort of unspoken tension between them. from where ezra sat on the end of the sofa in joel's living room, he peered over at the other and said as casually as he could "if me being around is starting to bug you, i can go. i won't be offended or anything-" that was a complete lie. "-i know we don't usually spend this much time together, so i'd get it." he didn't know what response he expected from joel, and he didn't know what kind of response he wanted form the other. this was all so confusing, and yet, he couldn't simply let the other go. it felt like they were bound to one another in some sick way seeing as they couldn't fully be together in the way they'd like, at least in the way ezra would like.

Oh, the sound of Ezra's laughter is as healing as the medication flooding his system. The sound combined with their proximity is enough to convince him that he is ready to go home. Instead, he'll relish this moment just a little bit longer as he chuckles. "I can't imagine having to worry about you like that." By now, with his eyes fully shut and his fingers still against Ezra's neck, Joel can't bring himself to care about his honesty. This moment is a privilege, and in the back of his mind, Joel knows it isn't something he can afford to get used to, so for now he will make the most of it. Despite these thoughts, Ezra's admission leaves him without a response. Luckily, he can feel the conversation drawing to an end, and though he doesn't want to spend the rest of their time merely asleep in each other's company when his feelings have been flowing so freely, Joel can already feel himself growing heavier. "Please... be here in the morning. No one should be by until later. We have 'til then, and then we'll figure the rest out." Which is easy to say right now from the comfort of their bubble. If nothing else, Joel is convinced it's enough. His eyes fall the rest of the way as he pulls the blanket closer around them. In this position, his head still resting against the other's chest, his heartbeat acts as a lullaby, and it isn't two minutes later when his own breath evens and his heart matches Ezra's as sleep finally wins.

#hi! omg sorry for the wait!!!#i'm going off of the time skip we plotted out in msgs #i've missed these guys sm lol #𖥸 �� ezra threads!

48 notes · View notes

moonlightandlilacs · 5 years ago

Text

A Little Puppet Dance - Ch. 1

A The Cabin in the Woods fanfiction.

Ch. 2 / AO3

Marty has some misgivings about splitting up, and Dana seems to be the one with the clearest head, so maybe they should stick together. He chooses to pull her into his room instead of letting her go into her own. This one small act throws off the Organizations plans in a major way and has the potential to change all of their futures.

“Everyone, get in your rooms!” Curt ran for the breach, grabbing onto the zombie arm extending from it, and the others scrambled to obey him. Panic was nearly overwhelming Marty, but something was still tickling at the back of his brain.

‘Splitting up is never a good idea. It always gets people killed,’ he considered silently. As Dana turned into her room and Holden kept moving, Marty made a rapid decision, grabbed Dana’s arm, and swung her into his own room instead. He was somewhat vindicated a moment later as the door slammed shut of its own accord behind him, catching the back of the hem of his button-up in it.

Dana shrieked in fright at being grabbed and thrown into the room, and she cried out again at the sudden noise of the door crashing closed. She whipped around to face him.

“Marty! What are you doing?! We were supposed to split up and secure our rooms!” Marty grimaced, both at her shrill tone and the words.

“Dana, you’ve watched plenty of horror movies-” he almost said ‘with Jules’ but then remembered the disturbing sight of her bloody, decapitated head and swallowed down the words and the accompanying nausea. “You know what happens when everyone splits up!”

The redhead glared at him. “This is real life, Marty, not a movie!” He stepped toward her, only to realize that his shirt was shut in the door. Grumbling to himself, he tried to yank it out, but it wouldn’t budge. The door proved to be locked, as well.

“There are - a little help here - zombies out there - seriously, Dana, please help - and our friend has been murdered.” Dana, who had finally stepped in his direction, flinched, but she still made her way over to assist him. “I think we can safely say that the normal rules don’t apply.”

She joined him in tugging at the hem of his shirt, but to no avail. “That doesn’t mean - just take it off, Marty - doesn’t mean that the horror movie rules do,” the woman affirmed. Marty gave in and shrugged off his outer shirt, leaving it hanging from the doorframe. He then grabbed Dana by the arms and looked her in the eyes.

“Jules went outside to have sex with her boyfriend and was killed. We’re a group of young people on vacation in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. Doors here open and close for no fucking reason, including the trapdoor to a mysterious basement full of random creepy shit like torture diaries with Latin incantations in them. And now there are zombies that throw our friend’s head at us, and Curt’s telling us to split up. I think it’s an appropriate fucking comparison, Dana.”

Dana seemed to consider this for a moment, and then she was wrenching out of his grip, dropping to her knees in the corner, and vomiting on the floor. Marty winced and knelt beside her, pulling her hair back with one hand and rubbing her shoulder with the other.

“Aww, geez, Dana, I’m sorry.” Her only response was to heave again, but she didn’t pull away from his hand. After a few moments, her shudders stilled, and she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“No, no, you’re right. It makes no fucking sense, but you’re right. God, what the hell?!”

Marty had no real response to this, so he merely released her hair and slid his hand under her elbow to help her to her feet. Her freed curls swung into her face, and she flicked one away with a huff. Noticing this, Marty held up a finger and went over to his bag. After a moment of rummaging, he produced a black hair band, which he quickly handed over.

“Here. Don’t want your hair getting in your eyes while you’re slaying zombies.” Dana took the offered accessory with a small smile and tugged her hair back into a tight ponytail. She paused for a moment in thought, and before she could even ask, he was giving her a second tie, which she used to fashion the ponytail into a bun.

“Yeah, why do girls in horror movies just leave their hair down the whole time? It gets in the way constantly,” she pondered as she worked; Marty merely shrugged. “And why do you even have these?” The woman inquired as she let her hands fall. He flashed her a grin.

“For one, they’re useful to have, especially for someone with my… horticultural habits. For another, Jules was always in need of one, and she always forgot to supply them for herself. I got rather accustomed to carrying them around.” Only after he finished the statement did he remember the fate of said friend, and his smile disappeared in an instant. For a moment, they had been interacting so much like normal that he had been able to forget about the grisly last several minutes.

Brought back to himself, he also realized that they had never barricaded the window as they had come in to do, and he threw himself at the opening. In his haste, his hip bumped into his bedside table, and the lamp on it crashed to the ground in a smattering of ceramic.

“Do we have anything to block the opening?” He demanded as he pulled the glass pane shut. Receiving no answer, he turned. “Dana! Do we-” the sight of her kneeling on the floor by the lamp stopped him. “Are you okay? I mean- stupid question- of course you’re not, but… what are you doing?” He spotted blood on her hands, but he wasn’t sure if it was from catching Jules’s head earlier or if she had cut herself on the shards from the lamp. And she still hadn’t responded to him. “Dana, I think we have bigger things to worry about than a broken lamp on the floor; you can leave it. Seriously, it’s okay. ...Dana. ...Dana?”

Marty swept away some ceramic with his foot to create a space and then knelt down beside her. Wordlessly, she handed him something she had pulled from the mess. He was momentarily confused before he recognized that it wasn’t just part of the wiring for the lamp. Hoping that his next assessment was wrong, he began turning the thing over in his hands, but the more he did so, the more he became convinced that he was correct. The implications of that were almost more than he could handle in the moment, and he instinctively reached for the drugs in his pocket before Dana interrupted him.

“Is that…”

“It’s a camera,” he confirmed. She gripped his arm far too tightly as panic began flashing across her face.

“But why?”

“...I don’t know.”

Dana leapt to her feet, snatching the offending object from his hands, and began yanking on it frantically. The wire stretched its way across the floor and up the corner of the wall as she pulled, and Marty realized that she was hyperventilating with tears streaming down her face. He quickly got to his feet and reached for her, only to receive an errant elbow to the chest as her movements became more erratic. Winded, he stumbled back a bit before stepping toward her more cautiously.

“Dana, stop. Dana, you gotta calm down, please.” She showed no sign of having heard him. Hoping to distract her, he tried a different tact: “Dana, we have to cover the window!” This got a flinch out of the redhead, and she stumbled away from said window, dropping the camera as she did.

“Oh, God, Marty, what the hell is going on?!” She cried as she fell against him. He caught her carefully, feeling just how hard she was shaking in the process, and led her toward his bed. She sat down hard without prompting, but when he tried to pull away to barricade the window, she grabbed onto his arm again. “Marty, why is there a camera?! Who- what- watching… I just don’t understand!” She began trembling even harder, and the tears and hyperventilation showed no signs of stopping. Abruptly, she pulled her knees in toward her chest without releasing him. “Oh, God, I’m feeling sick again. Marty, what do we do?!”

“Hey, Dana, breathe.” She took a shuddering breath and let it out as he tugged her knees away with his free hand. “Good. Now, here. I know you don’t usually smoke, but this will help, I promise. It’ll make you less nauseous, and it’ll calm you down.” When Dana gave no indication of arguing, Marty reached behind him toward his dresser and grabbed a small joint off of the top. Lighting it and taking a short puff, both to get it going and because he wasn’t exactly serene himself, he offered it to her.

She took a deep drag and let it out after a moment with a small cough. Marty nodded encouragingly, and she took another few before handing it back.

“Thank you, Marty,” she murmured as she wiped her tears. “I just…”

“Hey, no, I get it. This is fucking terrifying, and I don’t blame you for freaking. You’re just really smart, and I need your head in the game here.” With this, Dana squared her shoulders, and her shakes slowed nearly to a stop.

“Alright. So, camera. Someone is watching. Why? Did they know this was going to happen?” Her voice was almost businesslike now as she rose and headed back to the corner.

“Puppeteers,” Marty muttered as something clicked in his brain again. Before he could explore it, though, he heard a small metallic creaking noise, followed by a hiss. This also seemed vaguely familiar, and after a moment, he placed it with Curt’s sudden change of mind.

“Dana, do you hear that?” As he looked around, a vent caught his eye. “I swear that was closed before.” Confused, he looked to Dana, only to see her swaying in place as her eyes glazed over. “Dana, get away from the vent!” He shouted as understanding washed over him. Thinking quickly, he yanked the neck of his long-sleeved shirt over his mouth and nose as he rushed to his friend. She stuttered to meet him, and he pulled her cardigan up to cover hers as well.

“Marty, the window,” she slurred. When he only stared at her in confusion, she tugged weakly at his sleeve. “Open the window. Air.”

“See? Really smart.” She smiled weakly at him as he threw the window back open, and they both breathed in the clean air through their impromptu masks.

A few moments later, Marty heard the hissing stop, but it was quickly followed by the disembodied voice he had heard a few times that night: “Get away from the window, Dana.”

“What the fuck?” Marty whipped around, looking yet again for the source, but Dana didn’t appear to hear it.

“Get away from the window, Dana,” came the whisper again. She still didn’t flinch, but she did go to step back.

“Dana, stop!” Marty barked, still looking around. She stared at him strangely, but she obeyed. “Do you not hear that?”

“Hear what, Marty?” She replied as he swung the window shut again. He got the sense that if they hadn’t seen zombies and found an unexplained camera, she would have been telling him he was too high again.

“The voice. I heard it before, in the basement, and again in here earlier. I couldn’t understand it then.”

“Understand what? What voice? What’s it saying?” That almost pitying look had vanished, and she was looking frightened again.

“How do they know our names? Or at least yours...” Now he was thinking out loud, but this was enough for Dana. She broke out in a cold sweat and began surveying the room in a near panic.

“Get away from the window, Dana!” The whisper was more commanding this time, and Dana let out a small cry of alarm as she heard it.

“Marty, what’s happening?” She staggered away from the window in terror, scuttling backward on her hands when she fell.

“I don’t know, but something is majorly wrong here,” he asserted as he turned to follow her.

As if to underline his point, a zombie smashed the glass of the unattended window, making both adults scream. Putrid arms wrapped around Marty’s waist and began dragging him out of the room as Dana shrieked his name.

OooOooOooOooO (In the Control Room)

Hadley let out a sigh of relief as the Fool was pulled from the room, kicking and screaming, by Judah Buckner.

“Finally,” he groaned.

“That was too close,” Sitterson agreed as they watched Marty trip and fall to the ground outside the cabin, only to be dragged away by his zombified captor.

“Well, then why didn’t you let me gas them in the first place? A little Cortisol and they’d have been out like a light, problem solved,” Hadley pointed out with a pout.

“He was giving her some of his weed, which was supposed to have a cognitive suppressant in it. Should have made them both dumber; he is supposed to be the Fool, after all. Then we could have just let them be for a bit and dealt with the Athlete and the Scholar first. And besides, you gassed them afterward, and look how well that worked.”

“That’s what we get for trusting the chem department, huh, Lin?” Hadley grumbled. “A girl vomits once and panics a little, and her system processes or removes most of the drugs? What damn good does that do?”

“Oh, shit, speaking of which,” Sitterson interrupted. “Look.” He swung the small screen back toward Hadley, showcasing Dana taking a running leap out the window.

“Fuck, she can’t run around out there; the Virgin has to be protected until last, and there are three others left!” Spotting a small fountain of blood on another camera that tracked with where Judah had been dragging Marty, he amended, “Well, two.”

“Alright, chem, you better get it right this time,” Sitterson growled into the mic as Hadley moved to the lever system. His partner pulled the lever for the Fool with a bit more relish than was strictly professional and grinned as the resulting earthquake knocked Dana to the ground. She got to her feet, though, and she moved to keep running.

“Chem, I need more Cortisol in sector 7 around the Virgin. Knock her out,” Sitterson instructed as Hadley returned to his seat. Unfortunately, the sprayers that were usually used for pheromone mists didn’t mask the drug the way the indoor ones did, and the gas rose in a visible cloud, but it did its job. Dana stumbled to a halt after a few moments and then dropped to the moss in a heap. With a small high five, the two men turned their attention back to the other two sacrifices. The Virgin would be safe there for a while, and they had a job to do.

OooOooOooOooO

A.N. A big thank you to itslaurenmae for their help on this chapter and for being generally so supportive.

#The Cabin in the Woods #Marty Mikalski #Dana Polk #Marty/Dana #Blood #Horror #I'd end the world to let you live just a few minutes longer #Fanfiction #Cabin in the Woods #Please let me know what you think #I've been stressing about this for weeks #A Little Puppet Dance #Feel free to reblog

11 notes · View notes