#I'M SO UPSET NO ONE IS BEING FAIR TO HER RN

[leslieseveride]

oh, i did not like that dirty look nyla gave lucy as her and angela were walking away. 😠😠

[hauntedtotem]

I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh

[nonranghaes]

heads up! mentions of a past abusive relationship (for reader). this should really go on wooahaes but i'm too lazy to format it rn and i need sleep so take this ig??? i might repost over there some other time....

there's things that are unfair about having a boyfriend like vernon. you think one of them is how pretty he can look when he's sleeping.

of course, he's still human. he ends up with messy hair, and sometimes he drools, and there's about a thousand other things you can list off about him when he sleeps... but he's still your boyfriend. and thus, every little 'flaw' he has is something you consider pretty on him. he would (and will, when he's in a sappy enough mood) say the exact same about you, to be fair. he shifts a little in his sleep, stretching and reaching for you.

you still remember overhearing him talk to his mom the morning after you slept in the same bed as him for the first time. it'd literally only been sleeping, but you heard him quietly say 'they trust me a lot,' to her while on the phone. he'd been unpacking breakfast. when she asked about it, he merely said "they fell asleep next to me. they've never done that before. i think... i think they trust me," in that pensive way, like he's thinking more than he's actually saying.

(i do, you told him later. trust you. i think i love you, too. and it'd been what made him say that he loves you for the first time--something he didn't expect to hear back without that 'i think' to protect yourself. you said it to him a few weeks later, and he teared up--although he'll always deny it when you bring it up now.)

"you're staring again." he pulls you out of your thoughts with ease, and his eyes meet yours in the low light. "what's wrong?"

you saw today's date. some birthdays never leave you, and that's true of the person who hurt you. the person you only told vernon about a few months ago in full, although he knew of the person's existence before then. you remember what that person said to you, too. that you didn't need anyone else aside from them...

"nothing," you say, and it's a half-lie. it'll bother you a little more, but you don't want to have this talk now. not when you're already starting to drift off, safe in his presence. vernon's good at protecting you from ugly feelings that settle into your bones like an unwanted guest. "we'll talk later, honey."

he gives you a uncertain look. "you only call me honey when you're upset."

(it's a mutual thing: he calls you either by your name or a casual dude any other time, and baby and babe and love of my life whenever he's trying to avoid a topic temporarily. the two of you communicate: vernon's good at making you feel safe in that, too.)

"right," you say. "we'll talk in the morning... homie."

it earns a crackling snort from him, and he smiles that cute gummy smile as he hides his face for a moment. "ah, really... god, you're such a dork sometimes, i swear."

"a dork who landed you," you always remind him. yet when his eyes meet yours a moment later, you feel something warm in your chest that washes away that ugly feeling all too easily. you reach out, holding his face. "i think... i won."

"you won?"

"you love me," you say. "my friends love me... i'm loved," you say quietly, and the feeling still feels a little foreign. you are loved, you repeat mentally for a moment: because they see you as you, not the broken mess you feel you are. "so i won."

vernon gets it soon enough, and he nods. "you won," he says quietly. "i'm glad you're here... homie."

you crack up, too, and he quietly laughs at his own little moment with you. his laugh and his smile always make you giggle, too, and he pulls you in to kiss you happily.

"i love you," he mumbles against your lips, "i love you, i love you, i love you--" and he keeps planting kisses against against and around your lips to punctuate every repeat of the phrase, before he draws back, satisfied after being struck with the need to be overly sappy. "alright?"

gone is that bitter feeling that once flashed through your veins and settled into your bones. all you feel now is love, soft and sweet, as you're so openly reminded that you're not alone. that the two of you shoulder these problems together. you won, you think, because you are alive and being loved and learning to love wholeheartedly again.

"yeah," you settle in to sleep, planning to keep to your promise of talking come morning. "i love you, too, you big sap."

[eerna]

eerna what's going on in s3 bridgerton your posts and answers making me scared to watch on my life lmao

pls don't hate me, Colin lovers, but I was told by a friend who read the series that he's more fun and chill in the books and also i just....find Polin from even s1 is kinda uhhhhh?awkward?? cuz he's kind of unnecessarily serious and so not chill in the previous seasons?? maybe i don't see his appeal because I'm no Penny but i do not see his appeal in the show

so rn i haven't even watched it and seeing your posts is making me moreeeeeee 😶‍🌫️ it's okay give us the cringey details

Nsbysbbsb NO WORRIES!!! I have a weirdly big amount to say about this show bc I am no longer suffering as much as I did in s1 and 2. Prepare for an essay on my feelings on Polin and thank you for enabling me.

Ok so Colin. Not saying your friend is wrong bc I didn't read the book, but p much everyone I saw talking about it said Colin was very angry and aggressive in it, and for NO REASON since he's supposed to be the "calm brother". I'm glad that the show let him get upset, but never the way he was in the books/Anthony was in s2, where I legit worried about Kate's safety sometimes. Colin was my fav Bridgerton brother bc he was totally different from all the other men on the show, calm and silly and romantic.

Thar being said!!! I never ever thought of him as a GOOD love interest, and s3 only made it worse. First off, yeah, s1 and 2 do NOT show him and Pen as friends nearly enough to warrant the speed of their connection in s3. I blocked s2 from my memory bc I hated it So Damn Much so I can't 100% stand behind my words, but I don't really remember many friendly scenes with the two of them that didn't feel like he was just entertaining his sister's bestie? I remember he once danced with her, and he sent her letters from his travels, and that's it. Then in s3 we are supposed to believe Pen knows him soooo well, she sees through his tricks when no one else does, he can't stand losing her friendship when she stops talking to him. How, when the impression I got from their relationship was "oh she is clearly silly in love and he doesn't care about her enough to notice"!!!

And s3... Oh boy. Colin gets his "glowup" and becomes a rake bc Bridgerton writers would probably spontaneously combust if they wrote a virgin male lead. We see him flirt and smash other women and it is always so so so awkward. I've seen people trying to rationalize it as "Oh he is supposed to be pretending, oh we are supposed to find it cringe" but NO, he is objectified the exact same way Simon and Anthony were, and we as the audience are supposes to think it is sexy. To be fair, Pen finds it concerning but I think that has more to do with the amount of silly, vapid women constantly swarming around him. So now we are even FURTHER away from seeing any reasons why the two of them would be friends. And then we get hit with the "Colin teaches Pen how to find a husband" plot, and oh my god it is so bad, IT IS SO BAD, they have like 2 lessons across 1 episode before they are busted and stop and he literally taught her NOTHING she IGNORED HIS ADVICE AND FIGURED IT OUT BY HERSELF but everyone treats him like a war hero for taking one for the team and teaching the poor unlikeable social reject how to act. We also have the stupid scene where she is criyng begging him to kiss her because she is convinced otherwise she would die without being kissed, and he is trying to elegantly avoid it, and oh my god, I hated this, it is framed as cute and romantic but it is so uncomfortable and bad. AAAAAAAA. Anyway. Then there is this hilariously horrible incident where he saves her from a feral balloon, and if you are wondering wtf am I talking about, its because it is really bad and written like a Scary Movie slasher scene. There are exactly 3 moments that I liked, and ALL of them were bc Colin seemed very lost and desperate. First was when Pen told him they should stay away from each other after the scandal of them hanging out came out (which I liked bc if it were any other girl, some unhinged character would force them to marry, but since it was Pen they were like "Well obviously it's true there was nothing untowards happening it is just cringe haha loserrr"), and he looked like he stopped comprehending English. The second was when he was confessing his feelings, he got on his knees and looked like he was about to cry and I thought that was sweet! Well, he did mention torture which is a very ugly word to use in such a speech, but whatever. The third was after the Infamous Carriage Scene when he says something silly and the two giggle together and I was like PLEASE WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY IN S1 AND 2!!

And may I just say!! The actual Bridgerton Glowup one was PEN and NOT COLIN. In s1 and 2 you could tell she was pretty, but in s3 they made her so damn beautiful that my friends and I would go "Oh wow" several times per episode. And it's not only the clothes, they would put her in rooms where she pops out and sparkles and frame her in shots just perfectly. Idk why they only gave her 1 alternate love interest and then shot her Like That, there should have been at LEAST one more guy following in Debling's trail. Now she's the hot one in the relationship so I can't buy her desperation for Colin's approval or society's perception of Colin as a charity in any way.

With all that said. I think this is the best season of Bridgerton proper. It still isn't something I'd enjoy unironically, but at least it is neither a horrible age gap dynamic feat. SA nor a horrible disgusting juggling of sisters feat. murderer vibes. The only thing I'd say is worse than it used to be is the clothes, which are slowly creeping towards The Reign level of ahistorical and bad.

[skepticalarrie]

Lottie is always so predictable 😂 , Louis posts with her and all eyes on her account rn so she uses the opportunity to promote tanologist, the company she’s not even a true owner of lol. Anyway get the money girl, my saltiness comes from the fact so many other business owners who don’t have a famous brother put in the time and work daily to get their companies more business but lottie has Louis so she doesn’t have to put in the same hustle.

And I bet Louis is very proud of that. I would love to have that going for my loved ones as well. I have my issues with Louis' sisters, but Lottie is doing some honest work there, she's doing her thing. Not everyone comes from the same place or struggles the same way to get somewhere -that's just real life, and it's not always fair.

But we see so many influencers doing far worse things to get promoted and selling very questionable products and habits. You're just being bitter and mean, honestly. If you don't like her, just don't follow her. Unless you have a self-tan brand as well, then... well, I'm sorry. LOL I'd be upset as well.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hello,

I recently got back into the Harry Potter fandom, mostly because of tumblr. Otherwise I wouldn't even consider talking about my hyperfixations with my real friends.

So here's the thing, I know JKR is problematic and that is an understatement. I know this. And I came across a post which basically condemned her and said you shouldn't need more reasons to drop HP than this or something along those lines right.

And I completely agree with them. So I reblogged the post adding to it saying that the only way I am connected to this fandom is through this site.

Idk if this sounds like someone just like pettily complaining about people or whatever. They reblogged that post with my additions saying it's bad to even connect with the fandom, it gives her more support and kind of shamed me for still being a part of this.

Idk I just feel so guilty rn. And I just wanted someone to say it's okay to be here I guess. Until now I have loved HP content here, and this has been such an important part of my life. I can't just let it go.

I just wanted to let it out somewhere. Ughh as I type it out I feel I'm overreating but still. It's kinda been eating me up.

No, don't feel guilty at all! This is such a real feeling, and something I struggle with.

I guess to me, it's a personal decision.

Some people view loving harry potter (and any potter-related fandoms like the Marauders) as support of JKR. And that's...I can't fault them for that. Because people are so excruciatingly MAD. As someone who grew up literally idolizing her, it was absolutely devastating to see her turn into this. It was literally a betrayal. Like...the queer community used to really love her for pushing the idea of love and being yourself and fucking....not living in a closet. SO when she turned into this? It was really upsetting. People have literally had a staple of their childhood tainted, and for some, that's enough to completely write everything HP off completely. And that's fair.

For other people, they've decided to take the series as their own. To basically steal it and say- nope. Sorry, bestie. Not yours to be an author of anymore. I think that's more my view. Harry Potter (not even exaggerating) probably saved my life when I was a child, and got the through so much that I can't just get rid of it. It's quite literally a part of me. So while I respect the people who can't do it anymore, I just can't let go of something that really was a coping mechanism for years.

And then there are some people (like a newer generation) who never saw JKR as the author. It's always been the fandom. And I think that's also valid.

I think it's fair to say JKR doesn't have control over the fandom anymore, and we've made it our own. I don't lose sleep over being a part of it. But again, I think it's a personal decision, and one you can only make for yourself, you know?

[uramilf]

hi love can I request some angst with a happy ending. singer y/n and matty being official but y/n is having some trouble with her reputation lately (inspired by the whole taylor & kanye beef) so she tries to breakup with matty in order to protect him and not drag him anymore (saying he deserves better or something like that) so she booked a flight and goes back to her hometown but then our sweet lover boy matty chases her then one day he knocks at her door and they talk it out ;* I really need some angsty happy ending rn thank you my love!

A/N: Okay I loved this is I decided to turn it into a proper oneshot, thank you anon!! Fair warning: I'm not fully sure what happened between Taylor and Kanye but I know he accused her of not deserving an award so that's what I went with in this fic! Sorry if that wasn't what you meant!!

Warnings: angst, swearing, very sad shenanigans ensue

Reputation

"Y/n Y/l/n is currently in some hot water with pop music fans as she is accused of robbing other artists of Artist of the Year award. Y/l/n may have won multiple awards this year, but did she really deserve them?"

"Music sensation Y/n Y/l/n is a talented artist, fans agree, but it looks like her time in the industry could be limited as other artists express their upset at her recent win - could her rockstar boyfriend Matty Healy be the real reason for her success?"

"Brit award and Grammy holder Y/m Y/l/n slammed for her recent success this award season as she is called 'undeserving and untalented'. Her boyfriend, frontman of the global phenomenon The 1975, is yet to speak on the issue after being accused of helping her to acquire her fanbase."

You shut your laptop with a slam before you could delve any deeper into the comments being made about you online. You had been ecstatic with your recent win, and as Matty had also won an award the same night, you two felt invincible. That was until you began to be talked about negatively following your win, and you started to doubt how deserving of it you were. You started to believe what was being said about you online. That out of the hugely talented list of nominees, you were the least exciting. You started asking yourself if the only reason your fanbase had expanded was because of Matty. You wondered if you would lose fans in the event of a breakup.

It only took a few hours for the tabloids to bring Matty into the situation. They accused him of writing all your songs for you. Of course you had collaborated with him in the past, but you had credited him as a co-writer. The rest of your discography was your own. Matty was accused of begging Jamie to sign you at Dirty Hit, but of course you had been signed due to your musical talent and songwriting ability. In fact, you hadn't even known Matty before you were publicly represented by the label. Nevertheless, you could see you boyfriend beginning to be dragged down by the accusations made against you. You knew you couldn't let it happen. He had built such a successful music career for himself, and you couldn't be the reason he lost respect in the industry. It was going to hurt, but you knew what you had to do.

-----------------------

You had booked yourself on the first flight back to your hometown and told your parents you were coming to stay. Your stuff was packed up in boxes, ready to be transported back home, while your essentials were in a suitcase by the door. You sat anxiously on the sofa waiting for Matty to arrive home from the studio. When he did, you could hear him ranting from the second he opened the door. "Babe! Have you seen what those fuckers at The Sun have said now? This is bullshit!" He didn't get much further before spotting your suitcase. "What's this? What are you -" "Matty, I'm sorry?" "What are you talking about? Tell me what's going on!" "I never wanted you to be dragged into this. My reputation is ruined. It's only a matter of time before the label drops me." "That's bullshit babe, and you know it! Jamie loves you like family, he's gonna get you through this." Matty took your hand. "Please don't listen to what the press is saying, babe. You deserved those awards. And you have never lied about writing your own music. Now will you please tell me what's happening?" "I'm leaving, Matty. I'm going home." "That's ok baby, you just need a break. How long will you be gone?" You just shook your head at him, a tear falling down you face. You couldn't say it. "Darling, please, what are you saying?" "We need to break up, Matty. I need to protect you from this. You deserve so much more than me. More than the person who's ruining your image over a stupid fucking award."

Matty's face fell immediately. His eyes filled with tears and you could barely look at him knowing the hurt you had caused him. "I'm sorry," you whispered, and turned to leave. "No. Absolutely not." Matty caught you hand and pulled you to him. "You can't leave, not after everything we've been through. I love you. I need you." "I love you too, Matty. More than anything in the world. That's why I have to go. You love your music, and I can't let you be dragged down by my reputation anymore. We can't be together. We just can't."

--------------------------

As you lay in bed in your rented apartment near your hometown, your mind wandered to the look on Matty's face when you walked out on him three months earlier. He cried when you left, you could hear him sobbing behind you as you walked out the door. You had seen him cry before, but never like that, and it scared you. Maybe that's why you were so quick to leave. You didn't want to see the damage you had caused.

The comments online and the seemingly never-ending news articles had died down, of course. Not even a week later, some actor you had never heard of said something problematic and you were left alone. As for the public, they began to see sense and you had received hundred of comments on your social media saying things along the lines of "We support you Y/n!" or "We all know you deserve every bit of success." It was encouraging, but you felt you weren't ready to return to the studio yet. More than that, you weren't ready to return to the label and potentially face Matty.

It must have been one in the morning when you were awakened by frantic knocking on your door. Startled, you jumped out of bed and ran to the door. You opened the door a crack, and your breath caught in your throat when you saw who it was. Matty Healy, with his curls tousled by the wind, tearstains on his cheeks and a tiredness in his eyes you had only seen when he returned from a tour. He must have gotten off a flight and come straight to you. You swung the door open and he tensed up when he saw the worried look on your face.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Is everyone ok?" "Everyone's fine, darling. Except me." "What? What happened?" "You. You happened. I can't be alone anymore love, I just can't. I need you back home with me." "Matty, you know I can't do that." "And why the hell not? All that stuff with the press cleared up after you left me." "And what if it starts back up again? I can't let you be dragged down by me again." Matty took your face in his hands. "Listen to me darling, please. I simply can't be away from you any longer. I have never loved someone like I love you. I don't care what those fuckers on the internet have to say about me. I would have my reputation ruined a thousand times for you. I would do anything for you, I would die for you. You know that. So why won't you come home and be with me?"

You couldn't stay away from him for a moment longer either. You threw yourself into his arms and started to cry into his chest, his fingers running through your hair to soothe you. He was whispering between pressing kisses to your head. You couldn't hear what he was saying, but it was comforting. Matty picked you up with ease and you threw your legs around his waist, still crying. He shut the door behind him and walked you over to the sofa, where he stayed with you, holding you tightly in his arms until you had calmed down. "There, angel. You're ok." "I'm sorry, Matty. I didn't know I had upset you so much." "Of course you did, babe. How could you ever think I would be better off without you?" You almost started crying again, overcome with guilt, but Matty took you in his arms again. "Don't cry, sweet girl. It's ok, I'm not upset anymore. But I don't give a shit about what's being said about me online, as long as I have my best girl with me." He wiped away your tears and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips, the first in months. "I wanted to go back, I really did," you assured Matty. "But I thought you would have forgotten about me and moved on. And I definitely thought you stopped loving me." Matty's heart sank at your small voice and he mentally kicked himself for not calling you more times after you moved away. He kissed your cheek reassuringly and brushed your hair behind your ear, before pulling your closer and speaking in a low tone into your ear.

"I could never forget you, angel. And I have never stopped loving you."

[xsoulxsilencex]

There is almost something funny in seeing how most people on tumblr are really upset about what Yuamu and Yuga are doing and then I check other places where people are actually happy about what's going on?

One side is angry at Yuga, hates Yuamu's decision, call it bad writing, nonsensical etc. while the other side says stuff like "girl boss Yuamu", "Go Rush is cooking/peak" and "this is what Yuamu's character needed".

Ngl, I'm somewhat in the middle:

I really wouldn't call the recent events as "peak fiction" and I still feel like this is a weird way to involve Yuamu in the arc final + potentially explaining why she's not on the season 3 poster. I don't buy her being Otes at all. At least not the one we saw in Sevens. I don't even really see what would be so great about her being Otes? Like is it only cool because a girl could potentially be the previous show's central antagonist? Also Yuamu empathising with Yuga could've been done better imo. Just saying that the ep where they landed in Goha City as cats was like the "starting point" for her feels random and not really like it was built up properly. At least to me. Also not sure how people seem to easily forget/forgive Yuamu's irrelevance over the season just for what she's doing now. The writers do nothing with her until now and suddenly she's cool again because she sides with Yuga?

But I will also say that I don't hate Yuga for doing what he does. I mean, Yuga experienced what bad shit Monster Reborn caused in his time. He doesn't want a repetition of that. And I think for us it's easy to say "well, screw the future kids, the Velgearians matter more" since they don't exist in GR. They aren't characters we saw interacting with Yudias and co. We got to know the Velgearians so their deaths hit us harder and we want them back since what happened to them was just not fair. But it's not like Yuga is happy about letting the Velgerians stay dead. He would've gladly helped reviving the Velgearians if he knew a way that doesn't involve the use of Monster Reborn. After all, why would he have helped Yudias, given him a deck and duel disk and even dueled at his side if he didn't care at all? Even Yudias and co. don't think he's just evil by doing what he does rn. And well, Yuga is just 13. A 13yo saying he will become the enemy just to save the future is kinda crazy. Yuga actually cares a lot up to the point he wants to solve everything on his own so others don't suffer/get hurt. That's how he was in Sevens too. And ngl, that annoyed me a little even back then. (Luke called him out for that once too) He means well but needs to understand that it's okay to take help. Btw: I've seen people angry at Yuga and Yuamu only caring for the kids and implying that adults are bad? Tbh, I don't think they really believe that since in both, Sevens and Go Rush, we had some adults playing Rush Duel and having fun with it. I think it's more about adults influencing the game so much up to the point it's only fun for them but not the kids anymore. So when Yuga wants dueling back in the hands of children, he probably means that they should have fun too and not just the adults. Maybe he and Yuamu could've phrased it better but I never took it as "kids are cool, adults are evil so RD should just be played by kids".

I still believe that in the end, both the future and the Velgearians can be saved so I don't feel like arguing with any side here. Both make points I can understand but I also feel like some get either over emotional or just blindly call everything awesome.

[tacos-biggest-fan]

ITS DONE :D

Actual writing portion:

How they've impacted the story/ lore overview: well for one they're paintbrushes biological father, though they died before painty was born. their cause of death was in a fight with torch, where torch had accidentally shoved them into a table, breaking their skull. fast forward years later in Canon to when the blog takes place and a magic anon brings the background to life for five asks. however due to the anons and painty missing them they're brought back as a permanent character named backgroundy. Little did the anons or paintbrush know that backgroundy is the reincarnation of Watercolor brush, though for quite awhile they don't have any memories. the waterfall and cliff in the pmv were both memories shown early on that they remembered. Eventually they have a run in with torch again since she possesses paintbrush in some situations. Rightfully upset and mad about their death, even though accidental, Bgy tries to stab torch while shes possessing paintbrush, only stopping because torch pointed out that it'd just hurt paintbrush and not her. She apologizes for what she'd done to watercolor brush but agrees to leave (also at this point we don't really know their backstory). awhile later paintbrush drinks the same thing yin and yang did to split in an episode of ii to make torch stop possessing/ taking control of them. Backgroundy leaves, not exactly willing to confront torch at that time. some anon guessed that backgroundy was Paintbrushes father and Torch, very awkwardly confirmed it the ask after. after that we got some asks with backgroundy and it was mostly anons trying to get them to reveal more of their past, which they refuse to do. however someone magic anoned them into their original object for an ask, if they hadn't, bgys identity before their death would have been revealed a lot more recently with the mindscape asks unless kit had planned to show them before that. I'm not great at going into this much detail let alone more so that's it for this part Why I chose to do a character study on her: For the more technical reason, her lore is interesting to me. The fact she started as a magic anon but became one of the two important non paintbrush characters, the other of course being torch. though to be fair, its mostly character bias for why I'm making this. Bgy is my #1 comfort character rn and one of my favorite characters overall. Their backstory is really cool and overall intriguing.

@that-one-paintbrush

[goodboyaudios]

A few questions.

1. Could Makkaro make an undead doggie? It could be pretty handy for searchs or tracking down people. Or they would not since their noses are gone? (Yeah, I started with something random, but I had this in mind before watching today's chapter XD)

2. So the demon is gone for good? If that's the case, Zed just relieved the world from a potential problem, the "bad guys" included. Also, congratulations if so, Zed, that would turn you into a hero.

3. Can we say Makkaro doesn't trust Mahan to be around anything or anyone important to him, given how he made sure he wasn't around Darling right away? Still believe making Mahan the first vampire is a bad idea since Mahan is going to double-cross him on the first chance.

4. Does it really count as betraying what happened in this episode? They were just caught as the Necromancer's spouse, but Darling had been helping Zed and Mirrin the whole time, until Mahan appeared, at least, and after that, thanks to that "surrendering" Mirrin didn't get any lethal last hit.

5. Shouldn't Makkaro be in bed resting? Or did he pull of something in those three weeks?

6. What happened in there with Mirrin? I thought he was supposed to be stronger than that?

*cracks knuckles* Alright, let's see what we got here...

1. Yes, but in Canon, dogs don't exist on Manas. When the first settlers came to Manas, they brought with them a catalog of animals, not knowing that their biology would shift and transform after being exposed to the planet's atmosphere. Dogs became amphibious. And could no longer serve as land animals.

2. Technically, yes! You're right! The scourge will now no longer spread, but sadly, what has been changed may not be able to change back.

3. To be fair, Makkaro has little reason to trust anyone. Who's to say he even trusts Darling at this point? Makkaro still has absolute control over him regardless. The point of making Mahann a vampire was to show that he is an "anybody," as in, anybody could've been him, does that make sense?

4. Gienne, Canon listener name, did it goe that reason. She knew that after everything they had been through, things had to change, especially if she wanted the whole nightmare surrounding her husband to end. Of course, she didn't expect her friends to be almost killed. She's quite upset about that. But ofc, feel free to make your own assumptions and canons about how the listener feels!

5. Have you ever heard of Supreme Dr. Strange? Makkaro is going through it rn lol, and I'm not sure bedrest is the answer.

6. He's very, very strong, but he's not as strong as he was. He's had to hold back a lot of strength over the years to make sure he doesn't hurt his allies. Except he's done it so much now that his holding back strength is now his limit. He's still arguably one of the strongest, just. Not as strong as he used to be. This might affect him later on...

[sabrinasfeather]

Me rn: Hun, I tried explaining in a respectful matter why you’re Gale takes are weird interpretations but even agreed with you at times. You’ve basically just said the same shit for 3 separate posts, all of which I counteracted. Lmao Gale is the entitled nice guy? I don’t think he was the one who ghosted Katniss and threw statues at her when she kissed someone else (But wait, remember who DID that 🤗) And I really don’t get why you’ve brought up the beach kiss? That doesn’t make any sense. You’re really skewing the narrative and hold Gale to far different standards to Peeta.

no I do not hold double standard because the difference is Peeta realizes he was wrong and apologizes and changes his behavior Gale doesn't. if Peeta continue to act the way Gale was I would not be on either team. also he didn't throw the statue because of the kiss he was mad because Katniss and Haymitch because they didn't tell him about Snow's visit and because of that innocent people got killed because he gave money to rue and Thresh family like seriously didn't you read the books.

(And as for your other ask, you brought up what Liam Hemsworth said? I love Liam but Idgaf what his take is on Katniss and Gale bc he and I can have different interpretations! I don’t agree or really care what he thinks of it lol. You clearly just want the last word, have at it. It’s weird as hell that Peeta manipulating Katniss into a relationship, stalking her, ghosting her, and making her extremely uncomfortable at times is sweet and romantic, yet Gale stopping Katniss from kissing him makes him the devil. Goodbye)

this is a quote from Peeta catching Fire( He takes a deep breath. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends," he says.) Peeta was also very upset about the engagement as well he didn't want to get married like that because he knew Katniss didn't want it and he respected her boundaries. he also got her a locket with gale inside it and was basically telling her I know you love him and I want you to create a life with him and I want you to be happy even if it's not with me. does that sound like he's being manipulative does that's sound like he's being a nice guy does that sound like he's trying to force a relationship on her. No so I have no clue how you got that idea but it really just goes to show you weren't really paying attention. but you know who was actually being pushy with a romantic relationship with Katniss Gale and here's proof.

("Tell me about it," I say. "If I could've just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn't be in this mess now. He'd be dead, and I'd be a happy little victor all by myself."

"And where would we be, Katniss?" asks Gale.)

and mind you this happened right after katniss told him she can't be even think about a relationship right now because she's scared of getting killed and her family getting killed and mind you this also happened right after the quarter quells was announced. so maybe it's Gale who's actually pushing for a relationship not Peeta. also Peeta wasn't stalking again I have no idea how you even got that seriously the boy just had a crush.

and as for the Liam Hemsworth thing the reason I even included because his interpretation is actually correct but you know what don't take my word for it take the words of the author Susan Collins herself.

(Suzanne Collins, who authored “The Hunger Games” series, seemed to echo Hemsworth’s sentiments. In an interview with The New York Times, she shared that Gale and Peeta function “less as two points on a love triangle, more as two perspectives in the just-war debate.” Collins continued on to share what the characters represent. “Gale, because of his experiences and temperament, tends toward violent remedies. Peeta’s natural inclination is toward diplomacy. Katniss isn’t just deciding on a partner; she’s figuring out her worldview.”) so I think you get my point and it's not that she's trying to say you shouldn't fight or anything but it's important to not cross that line in times of war and that's what Gale did and that's why they don't end up together. so I really think you should just go ahead reread the books because it's obvious you weren't paying attention .

Okay, you do realize throwing a statue at someone is pretty weird right? No offense but that is legit a warning sign for abusive behavior. Sure, Peeta apologizes, but A) He only did it when he was forced to interact with Katniss on the train. If he didn’t, he still would’ve been refusing to interact with her. B) Peeta does say this after finding about Katniss and Gale’s kiss.

“Was that the only time you kissed Gale”. After Katniss told Peeta she was personally threatened by Snow, Peeta’s biggest concern is that if she only kissed Gale one time. He also seemed pretty threatened about Gale in the 1st book, getting mad at Katniss when finding out Gale wasn’t related to her and he also gruffly says “She’s just worried about her boyfriend (Gale)” when talking about the love act.

Gale does try to help Peeta as well. Remember when he told Katniss he was still keeping her alive after the 1st interview? Or when he helped trained him for the games and told her he was pretty likable? And again, how he risked his life to save Peeta, played ‘real or not real’ to help with his hijacking, and he gave him the nightlock pill, which almost put Gale in the same fate as Peeta.

Also, the “Where would we be quote” again, doesn’t mean a romantic relationship, that is just interpretation. Considering that Gale doesn’t even talk about it afterwards, he likely was thinking about how Katniss wouldn’t have to be in the games again.

Also babes, Suzanne Collings legit blamed Gale for justifiable actions in a war (Taking over the Nut) and a decision that wasn’t his orders (The Capital Plaza) I’ve read these books numerous times, thank you very much. People are allowed to have opinions, if you can’t handle that maybe you should lock yourself in your room and cry about it. Or touch grass, or get a job, you clearly need it. Also, you harassing me with Peeta has genuinely only made me ship Everthorne more and hate Peeta more too 🫶

[justonemorewallflower]

Finally a cousin BSG update!! Took me a while as I've been working on other things/haven't had the time to collect all her thoughts into one thing haha.

This will be Season 2 Episode 18 Downloaded through Season 3 Episode 17 Maelstrom! As well as Razor! So I have to cover almost an entire season haha but it's okay! Since I have so much to cover in this one I will only really share her reactions to big events/twists or anything she said that I just found funny. Also obviously of course, major spoilers!!

Razor she thought was interesting, I think she was on the fence on how to feel about Shaw but ultimately didn't really like her. She still hates Cain too, Razor didn't change her opinion on Cain at all which is fair.

She was upset about the whole faking Hera is dead thing.

She was surprised/interested to find out there's a Six who sees Baltar in her head like Baltar sees her.

She was very concerned/confused about Chief and his breakdown thing where he had beat the shit out of Cally. She became even more confused when at the very end of season two it showed him and Cally together and Cally pregnant. She thought they could be cute during the scene where Cally like forgave him, etc. but she didn't know how to feel because of what he had done to her.

I'm not sure how she felt about the Caprica resistance getting rescued but she was annoyed because that meant Kara and Sam and she was super uncomfortable/annoyed during the scene where Lee walked in on them kissing and Kara introduced him to Sam lol.

She was a bit annoyed about Laura and them trying to rig the election but she understood it too because she also did not want Baltar as president.

For the end of season 2 my cousin expected Gaius to win the election for president and even mumbled something about how he's not gonna be good at it. In the one year flash forward she was slightly confused, wanting to know what happened between the election and then especially between certain characters (like Kara and Lee). She was also taken back and mad when she found out Kara was married to Sam lmao, she was like "Married?! Excuse me?!" 😭🤣 And then when the Cylons showed up she wasn't really surprised, mostly just annoyed as she sighed.

Beginning of Season 3 with all the Leoben/Kara stuff she absolutely hated it and she hates Leoben. She got even more annoyed and confused/worried for Kara when he introduced Kacey. She thought Kacey was actually their child until she got back on Galactica and her mom took her back and then she felt bad for Kara.

She also felt bad for Tigh and was annoyed at Ellen for frakking Cavil.

She had pretty much guessed/knew that Gaeta had been the resistance's inside source and was really annoyed when the mass shooting/execution had been about to occur, as well as the suicide missions/bombings. And she was super annoyed when once back on Galactica the circle was trying to convict him of treason and send him out an airlock. She was relieved when Kara got him to admit the truth which ended up saving him. She was mad that they killed Jammer and was actually relieved when Sam had left the group she was like "thank you you're the only smart one" and she was PISSED when they asked Kara to replace him.

She found Lee being fat humorous and was mad again when she found out he and Dee were married also.

She was glad that Tigh poisoned Ellen as she felt she deserved it and never liked her anyway. Her hatred for Ellen is lowkey funny because literally almost anytime she was on screen she would get immediately annoyed and/or disgusted.

When Balter was questioning if he was a Cylon or not my cousin was like I could see it that would make sense but she also just wants him to be the special human haha. Rn though Baltar is one of her guesses for the final five but she doesn't really know for sure lol.

She was kind of annoyed with the episode Hero.

She was glad for Unfinished Business and how it explained things that had happened during the time jump and she was loving/hating the tension between Kara and Lee. She had loved the scene between them on New Caprica, smiling like a dork during it, and was confused and upset when Kara married Sam the next day. She was very upset about it because she was like "we could have had Kara and Lee!"

She also thinks Laura and Bill are really cute and wants them to get together already.

She wasn't really surprised about Kat's death, she had kind of expected it, knowing how someone was gonna let their radiation levels get too high and try to be a hero and she guessed it would be Kat. She was pretty neutral about it as she didn't necessarily hate Kat but she didn't necessarily like her either.

She was originally confused when Athena had Helo shoot her before realizing why and she was happy she got her baby back.

She was really annoyed when Kara got shot down on the Algae planet and Lee refused to let Sam rescue her and the arguing about Kara between those two because of it and then how Lee sent Dee to rescue her and the interaction she had with Kara. She was also just annoyed with the scene with Kara and Lee in the raptor and discussion divorce, etc.

She reallyyyyy wants to find out the final five and it's bugging her so much haha like when D'Anna saw them in the Temple she was nearly begging "show one of their faces, do it! Show a face come on!" 😭🤣

She was SUPER upset about Kara's death haha she said "she better be a Cylon or come back somehow" and I'm just over here like well... she does but only to disappear again later haha 🤣😭

She's very much in distraught right now and purposely had that episode be the last one we watched that night because she didn't want to move on to the next episode yet as that would either confirm her death and have everyone grieving over her or not and she said she's not ready for that yet and needs some time haha.

She and I will be watching more today and will likely probably get to either beginning or quarter of way into season 4.

I can't wait to see her reaction to finding out 4 of the final 5 as right now it doesn't seem like she expects any of them. Maybe Chief just because of his whole questioning himself thinking he's a Cylon thing but she didn't really believe it so I think she'll be surprised, especially since that isn't the first time he's hinted at being a Cylon. She definitely doesn't expect any of the other 3 and Ellen she probably will be mad about since she hates her haha but she won't be surprised.

I also can't wait to see what she thinks when Kara returns and what theories she ends up coming up with regarding her and he return, etc. I wonder if she'll think she's a Cylon like I had or not. I'm also just curious to how much she'll like her character after she returns since she's pretty different just because she's so focused on trying to fulfill her destiny to lead humans to Earth and seems crazy because of it.

I also can't wait to see her reaction to cult Baltar haha she'll probably be so weirded out. Same with the weird Six/Tigh plot line.

***

I feel like I'm missing some things but I'm not sure haha I covered a lot so I'll just leave it at this!

[tordenvejr]

Hello Vic! How are you doing? 🫰🏼

I need a little help from you - I do not think I have ocd, but I do obsess over washing hands and keeping things hygenic. Tidy? No, my house is always messy, but I wash my hands toooooo often to the point where if strong hand creams didn’t exist I would have shed several skin layers by now 😀 My immediate problem rn is that i am on a vacation with my family - even worse, I am sharing a room w my parents - and let me tell you, their lack of hygiene just get on my nerves. My mom has definitely noticed I struggle w this and it’s kinda easier to voice my anxiety over hygiene with her. My dad on the other hand has no idea and isn’t the most open minded person, I doubt he has even heard that some people struggle w stuff like this. I can ignore some stuff but when after 3 days of being here I hear my dad ask my mom which one was the soap (my mom had lots of other products on counter) I knew I wanted to pass away ! My mom asked “you haven’t washed your hands yet?” Don’t think he even replied which I am afraid means that yeah he hasn’t. Sounds so comical and ridiculous but it is really bothering me.

Thing is, before, I lived w them for 18 years and nothing happened, never occurred to me they wouldn’t even wash hands considering I was tought basic hygiene. So I wish I could just switch my brain to that state but can I.

Idk how I do not lose my mind. I do not think that something bad will happen if I don’t follow these hand washing obsession BUT it just irks me to know somebody is so unhygienic let alone someone who doesn’t wash their hands for so long 🥲🥲🥲 even if I didn’t have this problem it’s natural to be upset about my dad being ultra white person. So idk how to 1. Deal with people I am sharing the room with not being as hygienic as me 2. One of them not even following basic hygiene (would have been better if I had spoken up the 1st time I found out abt this- but I hate confrontation, especially with family I guess)

Vacation ends in 10 days but knowing they have touched my phone and my belongings and that I cannot just exist in a sterile world or in a world aWay from them does not make me happy. I know I have to address the root cause of hand washing obsession but this is the situation I am dealing w atm. So idk how to remain calm, ignore this, because voicing my anxiety and asking them to follow basic hygiene just seems ridiculous. :(

Sorry for such a long text 🫠

hi 🌟 i'm doing good, but i've been sleeping so fucking shit the past days i feel like a little snail around the house zzz

assuming you don't have ocd (you can look into the pure o subtype and reflect a bit over the cycle of obsession > anxiety > compulsion > relief > obsession. sometimes it isn't the belief of something bad happening it can also be an intense discomfort or a "sense" of something being off/wrong/not right); if it's a general annoyance and discomfort of lack of hygiene, keep your belonging on you, get a mini hand sanitizer if you can from a kiosk or store, air out, store your food away from theirs in the fridge and try to handle it yourself. it's up to you if you want to/are ready to express this discomfort/boundary with them, but it isn't ridiculous or unfounded. it's quite a fair request of the people you're in near proximity to, to exercise regular hygiene, such as washing their hands - and you aren't responsible for their reactions, though i understand you will be around them. i hope the next days will be better for you!

[cookinguptales]

tumblr please don't delete my read more it's important

really fighting feelings of worthlessness and loneliness lately and when I say bruhhhh there are days when I am not winning.

I just feel like I can't do anything right lately. my art isn't up to my usual standards, when I can even get it done. my home is a mess. my personal relationships are in shambles. one of the only family members who doesn't think I'm going to hell for being a gay blue-haired liberal has cancer and I feel selfish for even having feelings about it when I only just met her. (and it doesn't feel fair that I had to go without extended relatives who loved me for almost my entire life when I potentially had one right there but I'm well aware that that's pretty much the most selfish possible take on the situation, so I'm just keeping my mouth shut and trying to support the rest of the family.) I'm behind on my work, which is just complicating my personal relationships even more, and I just found out that things are about to become even more complicated at my job and like. jesus christ.

I'm just so fucking tired these days. I feel like I just keep getting sick and I keep getting behind and I can't do anything right. and I know a lot of that is just the weather changing and things will be easier once I'm in the pacific northwest in a couple weeks but. I can't tell you how stupid it feels that the weather can pull me apart like this. I barely leave the house these days but I get sick just sitting in rooms that have sunlight. it just makes me feel like I'm even more pathetic.

I keep trying to be positive on main but y'all I just feel like I can't offer anything to anyone these days, which I guess probably makes me try even harder to do it, which just makes me more upset when I fail because I'm spreading myself too thin.

idk. idk. I feel like I just need to sit in the woods by myself for a while and have a little cry. maybe once I get out to california. like damn, the trees don't care if you feel unlovable or not, they were there before me and hopefully they'll outlast me and there's something comforting about that, maybe. I have this weird, desperate need to earn love from people and you can't do that with a tree. it just is not possible. being out in nature makes that part of me go quiet for a few minutes sometimes.

I guess now is the part where I apologize and make some kind of self-deprecating joke about how I miss having a livejournal to pour my embarrassing thoughts out on but like. idk. I don't have the heart for it rn.

some of this is hormones, I know, but some of it is just. a lot of things are really shitty right now. they just happened to coincide with when I'm having body-wracking cramps because fuck me, that's why.

there's no end to this post and I'll probably delete it later. I just had to get it out in words bc it's the way I process things. this isn't a cry for help anything, I just had to talk and the notes app is not doin it anymore. bye.

[keeponquinning]

i'm planning on posting my thoughts on each chapter i read of FLIGHT OF ICARUS because I think it's generally worth talking about, I finished chapter...seven I believe but let me talk about the things before that I didn't. I understand some of ya'll hate this book. That's fine. Just as long as you don't make those that do like the book feel guilty or one inkling of bad about it, it's all good. That's honestly the only thing disheartening about seeing the hate on this book, because I for one had been jazzed about it and it was genuinely bumming me out seeing so much hate for it. So like, idk, be mindful of that? However I will be tagging my posts about it — 📖 — flight of icarus — in case ya'll wanna blacklist, giving your opportunity for that rn. Being as fair as I can about this whole thing. I've never seen such a reaction out of a book like this, it's kinda crazy. we all here for a good time, guys. at least I hope so. I'll also be putting these under a cut, hopefully that works with mobile folks, idk. ANYWAY. Gareth and Chrissy thoughts under the cut as well as everything i've read thus far.

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS AHEAD!

first thing's first! let's give a round of applause to caitlin schneiderhan, because she living all our dreams. not only a professional writer and part of the ST writing team, but she got the holy grail of being offered a chance to write about our boy. like pls, i love that. i really don't mind the first person ( which from what i gathered, the other books like Lucas on the Line and Runaway Max, Rebel Robin are done the same? correct if i'm wrong ) but mostly it gives me and readers a chance to really be in our boy's head, read his thoughts and hearing his lovely voice in my head.

And honestly.... and some folks will probably disagree... From what I read so far, and what got me excited the most about this book... the writing really does, to me at least, don't have to agree, it feels very Eddie to me. Right from the scenes of Gareth, Freshman Gareth with the floofy hair and chrome mouth, being upset that his character ( that he didn't even make ) became fish food and Eddie being like, "...then we just make another character" because that boy was so pissed that he got himself, in his mind, kicked out and Eddie being the one like, "...no? After the gutsy move you did, there's no way we're not going forward without you" and taking moments of his time to help him create another character? And the glee Gareth had over it? Come onnn.

and cutting to that, one of the excerpts that came out, creating that character and being patient, as any 18 year old would be, and guiding Gareth to get that spark for the game, in creating a character from scratch, and all in a risky move of basically breaking into an empty classroom that they could have been caught in, just added to it. the fact that this act, seeing Gareth so into it, lifted Eddie's mood after Al came back was....ahhhh.

AND THEN! THEN!

The line that killed me, when Eddie asked him why he wanted to be in Hellfire so bad since he never played D&D and Gareth's answer being, "...where else was I supposed to go?"

OH MY GOD.

THAT FUCKING KILLED ME!!!

The start of Eddie the shepherd, herding his little ship. are you KIDDING.

Which then led to the whole Tommy H, which, fuck this guy. His cronies, including JASON CARVER and Chrissy Cunnigham.

DEEP BREATH.

I do love the talk of Steve, well after the breakup with Tommy and even what, Sophmore?? Jason being like, "Harrington won't like this" BECAUSE JASON IS A BITCH.

But can we appreciate Chrissy just not being for this and tried to PRY TOMMY'S HAND FROM GARETH????

I remember someone made a post, i can't remember who you are! If you remember, let me know! That Chrissy wouldn't have been the cheerleader that would be okay with bullying, i mean, god, her own mother bullied her all her life, and like, to that person, THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE and I feel it was backed up with this.

I'm not a HELLCHEER stan per say, but I will admit, the thought is cute and there was def potential in my eyes but also like... I don't have an actual ship in this show, just like... I could see it and leave it at that lmao. And I'm not bothered by the thought of Eddie having a crush on her. It's clear if he did, it wasn't so much on the rising "queen of hawkins high" but rather the girl at the middle school talent show that, when he said his dad wasn't there, instead of making him feel bad about, little chrissy just went, "Wow, I wish my mom wasn't here!"

LIKE?

LIKE???

And even said she'd cheer for him when he played, like come on. whatever we feel about chrissy, i stand she was not a horrible person, and if she lived, probably an amazing person to see.

Fuck you, Vecna.

I do love that even when Higgins rolled up, she was like, "THAT BITCH IS LYING!" when Tommy tried to make it like Eddie was the aggressor. Because --

TOMMY H IS A BITCH THAT SHOULD GET PUNCHED OUT, WHEN WILL I SEE THAT.

But anyway.

I covered not as much, but Higgins is a bitch. Most of these adults need a slap. I so felt for Eddie, constantly being marked by his last name, by his dad. This grown man calling this 18 year old a felon even though he's never been arrested. I mean???

but can we appreciate that nothing got under his skin as bad as when Higgins essentially was like, he's a rotten apple, infecting everyone around him. Like Gareth? Like the only reason he was targeted bc he was in Hellfire?? Under EDDIE'S association???

I wanna hug him.

Let's roll back though. Since we done the Gareth and Chrissy bits.

Al.

AL.

I hate him lmao. So the new thing that came to life was, Eddie didn't live in wayne's trailer all his life, but it seems was in a constant yo-yo kinda of living between the house and wayne's trailer, especially when he was younger and Al would take off. It would make sense, as he got older, being more insistent on staying home and Wayne doing the grocery shopping( of spaghetti-o's and microwave meals! oh, wayne ) every two weeks and keeping an eye on him.

Bless anyone, again, i can't remember WHO that fancasted skeet ulrich as Al because i can so see it

this man screams — munson magic, no??

Also, Eddie saying he doesnt' have said Munson Magic? False, sir. You most definitely do. We've all fallen for it, hook, line and sinker.

also, I do love the complicated mess that is their relationship. The sight of his boots sending Eddie in a whirlwind, a near panic attack at having to see him again, but also even craving his attention. The fact that Al is inviting Eddie into one of his schemes has him conflicted because, "he never came for me, he could have asked his friends, but he came to me" like... my boy. Can someone hug him?? It's very realistic to have this complicated relationship, as those that do have those types of parental relationships could attest. I def could. ( neither of my parents were felons and doing schemes but def emotionally distant so :))) )

I craved for some wayne x eddie moments, and in part, i do, though with wayne it feels like he's def holding back. it seems to be of his nature, which I can buy, tho still offering Eddie a place in his trailer if he needs it. I feel like by the end of the book, this could change, i feel a def shakeup is gonna happen with Al and Eddie as he seemed dead set against his dad in s4. do not correct me if I'm wrong as I wanna find that out myself!

I love Ronnie.

I love that Caitlin gave Eddie a childhood bestfriend, though the angst of Ronnie having a chance out of Hawkins and Eddie feeling left behind but still happy for her. At least to her face. Another aspect that feels like him, not giving her shit about it, wanting the best.

I also loved the part where young eddie thinking she was his girlfriend and the disastrous first kiss that had him running away lmaoo like god. what a little goof. I love him.

another controversial take. I ACTUALLY LOVE THAT HE ISN'T A VIRGIN.

Listen

LISTEN !!!

This boy is gonna die in a horrific way.

I'm glad he didn't do so as a virgin, I'm glad he got to FUCK, he DESERVED TO HAVE HIS DICK WET OKAY. I'm glad. I'm happy for him. GO YOU, EDDIE MUNSON.

What made me sad though was the two girls he mentioned, it seemed they dared themselves to be with him, wanting a taste of the freak — which i mean....

I mean....

Fuck, don't we all...?

Wanting to find out if he a freak in the sheets as well in the streets -shot-

And ah yes, Paige....

I don't mind Paige so far. She like us, wanting a piece of Eddie, I can't fault her for that. When I found out there was a romance plot, or, well, most likely not true romance, I didn't mind, because I def wanted to see how this boy handles someone that wants him. The part where she made him feel like a person, or rather, liking him for himself was.... ouch, my precious boy. he would be so flustered around us, i swear to god

I do love that we get bits of the Hideout and Corroded Coffin.

And I'm gonna take a pause because like.... I love the set up that to get stage time, Eddie working as a barback there and like........ can we appreciate that.

Can we picture Eddie running around, hair tied up, sweating, maybe wearing a white shirt... Jeans.... Going from table to table, wiping it down...them forearms, twisting that slutty little waist for whatever reason, you're at the bar, having a drink, and he gives a smile...........

Anyway.

I always wondered if Corroded Coffin wrote their own songs.... AND THEY DO. The only downside I really wished it was the Corroded Coffin we know. I love Ronnie but I'm like WHO IS DOUGIE?? It makes sense, it's two years prior, but at least we have Jeff and hail the 80s where they don't really give a fuck if a minor is drinking at a bar lmaoo but i love he's nervous about it. Shroud Fire sounds metal af i wish we could hear it.

but all this leading to Paige. And her freckles. I love that Eddie, and even he himself calling it very Caveman like, that his mind went, freckles. This man has the Munson Magic bc he is a dork but he could get with ANY ONE OF US. He has no play, his brain would short circuit, BUT WE WOULD BE SO INTO THAT.

I don't know of Paige's intention, but I feel for her struggles at her job, getting the dream job but still having to try and claw your way to the top and it being difficult bc not taken seriously.

She def after Eddie. I cannot blame her.

Which lead to the recent chapter where he goes to her and is like PLEASE SIGN US. Her taking a chance because she needs a big break as well.... I like that.

But I def laughed when she was like, "God, you just want to get to Dave and I thought--" we know what you thought and you so real for it, Paige. i'm just gonna chant MUNSON MAGIC okay. it is part of my vocabulary now. that is what got us all.

THE MUNSON MAGIC.

So far, I do like it. I feel it's a really easy read. Will I take it as canon? Idk. Maybe. Or at least take parts of it as canon, aka the things I like, which seems to be the majority of it so far. I'm not a novice at books tied to shows I watch, or movies even. I was heavily into the star wars books that turned to not be canon ( rip, mara jade skywalker ) but it doesn't take away my enjoyment of it. Enriches it, if anything. I think that's the most important thing.

That's it for now. enjoy my ranting!

[izzy-b-hands]

Ongoing PTSD breakdown trauma stuff below the cut, pls ignore, just need to spew it somewhere that like. I know my feelings will be safe to have and type up and whatever. Also, sorta? mild our flag spoilers under the cut bc my brain is a mess and I use characters I love to help metaphor out and explain my own shit so. yeah. that's also a thing here.

Motherfucking random traumatic memory abt Mum fucking. Randomly hitting me while I'm writing fic (for no apparent reason, no idea what triggered my brain to throw this at me when I WAS NEARLY DONE WITH THE FUCKING FIC NO LESS)

So goddamn rude. I'm off my track on the fic now, so I'm setting it aside for the night (we have Ren Faire today (it literally just hit midnight lol), but after that I want to get back to it) and realising I should really write this memory down.

Like. all of the little details about it, the bits of Mum and I and our relationship surrounding it. Both because my brain does tend to shutter some of those things away and makes them hard to get to without it being stupid lengthy a process involving talking out every feeling I'm having with someone else(unless it pulls some shit like tonight, then suddenly it's no fucking problem throwing it all over the place apparently) and because like

I don't know if I could say this one out loud to anyone, but I think I should. Probably a therapist, but it's one of those stupid trauma things of you just Want Someone, Anyone To Know, Now. To acknowledge it and say if it was as fucked up as it feels (bc I will never deny the possibility that I'm being dramatic and it isn't, and I should just. chill the fuck out about it.)

But every time I start trying to type it out I get hit with this wave of a physical response where my arms and wrists and fingers feel like they're clenching up and I Can't type it. And there's a part of me that doesn't want to because if I can see it in letters on a page, then it's real. It's real and it happened and maybe it was as fucked up as it feels like it was and if that's all true then like. it fits with everything else about our relationship that's already fucked up, from the severe (better than it used to be, but I'm sure it's very clear to y'all that it's still Not Good even though I've moved away from her) co-dependence to the emotional incest (fun fact: that term feels like a gut punch every time I hear it, and I've heard it from my therapist more than a few times now over the past 9ish years of treatment.) So I shouldn't be shocked by that or like, upset, right?

Yet I'm here typing this out to put off typing it up, and I'd bet money I don't necessarily have that I'll wind up putting my laptop away, showering, and going to bed without getting it typed. For better or for worse.

Part of the reason I worry so much abt Frenchie this season (aside from that I love him and he's one of my faves and I want nothing but good and happy for him) is because I also subscribe to his 'shove all the fucked up shit you've seen/experienced in a box in your mind and just. Never open it unless you're putting more in there' method of coping (have all my life, it was so weirdly validating to see it onscreen like that explained so plainly) and like. This is me when the box somehow pops open when I didn't mean it to, and I both want Frenchie to be able to process the things that have happened to him but also don't want to see a character I love so much hurt like this. Because it feels like a big stupid gaping open wound in my chest that I'm being entirely too dramatic about, no matter how valid feeling that way abt it might be.

Kind of hope I can just shut the lid on the box so I can get done and go to sleep after I post this. Should I actually type out the memory and everything? I hate to think that the answer my therapist would have given me, if I could afford to be seeing her rn, would be yes. But the thing is, I have fucking Ren Faire tomorrow in my Izzy cosplay (that Housemate says I look good in, which I'll vainly admit I'm rather happy about, even if it is a very inaccurate and homemade cosplay that's missing certain details I can't yet afford to buy), and I don't want to be dealing with any of this for the rest of the night/into tomorrow. I need to sleep so I can go have some fucking fun, for once. I even feel ok to bring my cane with folded in my bag, just in case I need it, bc that would still be in character if I wind up needing to use it. I can count on one hand the times I've had a fun experience where I also felt safe admitting when my body was hurting and using a physical aid to help it get by; I'm not losing this one.

It's not getting typed out, and I need to duct tape that fucking box shut for now.