#I'M SAYING IT SHOULDN'T NEED TO BE IN ORDER TO BE VALID

[familyagrestefanblog]

No, you know what? I AM upset at how Marinette in "Illustrhater" just put all of that on Alya again without giving her a real option to say "no", all while she once more leaves Chat Noir in the dust to find it out the worst possible way again that he isn't her real partner when he'll be forced to accept under the most painful circumstances that Ladybug didn't want him, too, to be able to contact her memory spirit when she's gone.

Marinette is an insanely inconsidered and self-serving "partner" for BOTH Chat Noir and Alya! No, I'm not okay with that. Fuck all that. Not only has she never actually grown since season 4, she is actively getting worse again in how little she ever thinks about other people.

I AM upset at Marinette using her guardian privilege to ignore the natural bonding and partnership needed between a Kwami and their holder just so she can feel better and in control. I don't give a DAMN that Alya spend alot of time with Marinette and Tikki since season 4, Marinette still has no business ordering Tikki to make a Kwagatama! And no, I don't care about your headcanon that it was Tikki's idea or she's on the same page as Marinette regarding Alya. That didn't happen on screen. YOU made that explanation up to deflect the problem.

And yes, I AM upset at Marinette just dismissing Trixx' objection because he wants to stay with Alya! Marinette got all the excuses and special treatments in the world in season 4 for sidelining Tikki more and more and literally giving no SHIT about Plagg beyond her getting validation, because she's "such a caring guardian who's putting so much on herself to finally treat the Kwamis with love"

And now not only did she dismiss Barkk in the London special when Barkk wanted to hold Nathalie accountable for helping Gabriel and the harm she caused the KWAMIS by keeping them locked up,

not only did she keep a clearly worried Plagg from returning to his beloved chosen for at least several days (which also lead to Cerise just needing to take both Miraculous from ONE person. This was long established as reason why one person shouldn't have both the Ladybug AND the Black Cat!)

No, now she's dismissing Trixx, too, entirely when he dared to ask for his bond with Alya to matter more than Marinette's need to get every easy and fast solution she thinks of first!

Where is that caring Guardian Marinette got all excuses and special treatments in the world for being? She ain't on screen! Marinette just didn't give a shit about Trixx' feelings or what Alya thinks of it. She just decides that once she's gone Alya will be the Ladybug, Guardian, and team leader, and Trixx will be given to someone else.

No one has a saying in anything. No one matters. No one's feelings, experiences, and desires matter. In Marinette's writing, only MARINETTE matters.

She won't listen. She won't consider. SHE decides what everyone feels and SHE decides what everyone is and will be.

No growth, no attempts at trying to improve. She's just written to take for herself whatever she wants and then cries and screams how misunderstood and tormented she is when reality dares to clash with her inconsideration for the third season in a row!

Yes, I AM upset!

[ineffectualdemon]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[frownyalfred]

Hi. I'm not a canon purist and enjoy some fanon content very much, but I do think people in the fandom should at least familiarize themselves with the canon content and source material. It's easier to break the "rules" so to speak and experiment with canon when you know what that actually is. I've noticed a lot of fans that are only familiar with fanon criticise content that doesn't line up with what they believe to be canon but isn't. The Red Hood for example. I've seen writers who portray him as the violent criminal he is in much of the canon be completely decimated by Jason fans who only know fanon and the retconned version of Red Hood and completely deny canon even exists and refuse to even glance at the comics. Transformative works are important and playing in the sandbox is for everyone but fandom literally cannot exist without canon. Canon is important and people can do whatever they want with it but they should respect it enough to at least look at it.

Hi anon, I'm going to hold your hand as I say this, and I will say it as gently as I can: This is still a form of canon purism.

We can absolutely agree that readers shouldn't berate or abuse writers for how they choose to portray characters in fic, whether that's a more canon-faithful characterization or a popular fanon version. If readers don't like how a character is portrayed, we should encourage them to hit the back button instead.

I want to draw your attention to some of the words you used in your ask above: "should" "respect" "decimated" etc. Those are some strong words to describe how you think people need to behave, in order to exist in fandom. Of course, there is no fandom without canon source material -- I'm not denying that. But with such a wide and varied canon, the DC fandom has examples of the Red Hood you mention above, AND the "retconned" version you also reference. Both are canon, as in actually, officially, canon. WFA is canon, and that Red Hood looks very different from the Red Hood you describe.

Now, I think your issue is that you enjoy a certain version of canon, and you're frustrated that the fandom doesn't also, as trends ebb and flow, enjoy that canon as much as you do. Again, I want to acknowledge that just because a certain version is popular, it doesn't give folks the right to berate authors for writing a different version. But again, I don't think that's what we're really talking about here. From your ask's tone, I think you're suggesting that people should, in order to participate in fandom, read that older canon, that different version, or as you say, "glance at it" before enjoying or writing the fanon version.

Guess what? They actually, really, really, don't have to. It sounds like you have some issues with judging your fellow fandom members who don't read what you do or reference certain canon. But the magic of this fandom is, you can enter it at any point. We're a big pool, and if someone's entry point is the Lego Batman movie and that's it, that's still valid.

Fandom stems from canon, yes, but I almost never hear people talk about movies, or web comics, or other media when they talk about "required reading." It's always a comic. I really wish people would reflect on that before suggesting it as the one true path to being a fan.

The other thing I don't see asks like these reference ever is the reality that sometimes a fandom outstrips its canon material, and that that's an eventuality in some spaces. Fanon interpretations become popular, and people write about those specific characterizations or scenarios. They ebb and flow, like I mentioned, and some are more canon-faithful than others. Some completely reject canon, and again -- it's still fandom. It doesn't make it better or worse than a more canon-faithful fic. It's just different.

I had a couple asks about this topic a few weeks ago, and I'm assuming you haven't read those or you likely wouldn't have sent me this ask. But in them, I discuss how sometimes we need to suck it up and be unhappy that canon-faithful fics aren't as popular in a fandom at a specific time, and stop punishing fellow fans for writing and enjoying those fics. And we really need to stop shitting on them publicly on Tumblr.

Because often, what you're really saying is that you wish more people would write more canon-faithful fics, and stop writing ones about fanon topics you don't enjoy or think are accurate. And to that, I again say, there is nothing you can or should do to change that behavior from others. If you want to read it, write it, enjoy it, etc, do it yourself. Build the comic-faithful community here, write fics and promote challenges, create a discord channel and discuss your "required reading" there.

We are all writing and reading fanfiction at the end of the day. It is a great equalizer in many ways. My silly Lego Batman fic is just as valid as a canon-faithful rewrite of a certain Batman issue. One is not better than the other, or more deserving of respect. You will never get me to admit otherwise on this blog.

tl;dr: people should absolutely not berate authors who choose to write canon-faithful characterizations. however, there are layers of judgement and disdain many DC comics canon-faithful authors/readers have for their fellow fans that I think we need to examine critically in order to coexist respectfully.

[nothorses]

This is a genuine ask and I hope it doesn't come off as rude, obviously people can do whatever they want forever, but what is the logic behind a lesbian dating a transgender man? (By lesbian I mean someone who is only attracted to women), wouldn't that exclude binary trans men then since trans men are men? Or is it like "Trans men can be lesbians because they have vaginas" which just feels like bioessentialism with progressive wording...

I think the core misunderstanding here might be in your use of the word "logic". And there's a super high chance I'm extrapolating more intention than you put into that word choice, but hear me out.

On a super basic level, I think it's important to understand the reasons people use words like "lesbian" and "trans man" in the first place. In certain contexts, it makes sense to assign these terms more rigid definitions: a study would likely have a single, clear definition for those words in order to talk about some research results. An academic essay might need a shared definition if they're talking about broad trends and systemic issues.

But when we're talking about an individual's choice of identity labels- the words they use to describe their own personal experiences and relationship to gender and orientation- it doesn't make as much sense to apply someone else's definition of those words to that individual's use of them. They're trying to describe their own internal world to you; what matters in that conversation is how they understand the words they use, and why they chose them.

Don't get me wrong: common understandings of a word can play a part in that conversation! My understanding of what "gay trans man" means has been shaped almost entirely by other people. I chose those words for myself because of what I think most people will understand them to mean. In twenty years, it's possible that the common understandings of those words could change, and I might use different words to better communicate the same internal experience.

But I also might not. I might decide that my personal connection to those words is more important to me, or even that saying I'm a "gay trans man", as a person 20 years older than I am now, better reflects my internal experience as one that was shaped by the time I came to understand myself in. Maybe it'll be important to me to communicate that I understand myself as a "gay trans man" because of what those words meant 20 years ago. Maybe it'll be important to me to ask tomorrow's queer people to learn about my context, and my story, in order to really understand me.

And maybe, when I fill out a survey for a queer study in 20 years, I'll read the definitions they use for all of these identity labels and categorize myself accordingly, even though I don't personally identify with those definitions or words.

So yeah, I could talk about all the reasons someone might identify as a "lesbian" and still be attracted to trans men. I could talk about trans men who still call themselves "lesbians" because of what the words meant 20 or 40 years ago, or some unique definition they heard in one place and decided they liked enough to keep, even though nobody else has even heard it. I could talk about lesbians whose partners turn out to be trans men, and who still feel attracted to them afterwards; whose partners are okay with, or even feel validated by, their lesbian partners still calling themselves "lesbians". I could talk about nonbinary trans men, and bigender or multigender trans men, who are women and/or lesbians as much as they are trans men. I could talk about bi and pan lesbians, who may find themselves attracted to one trans man or a handful of men- trans and cis both- but otherwise mostly experience attraction to women.

But like, the point shouldn't be to find a good enough reason to justify it. The point isn't the "logic". The point is to understand that everyone's internal experience is fundamentally different from yours, and to be curious about each individual.

It's great that you asked this question in sincerity, but I'm the wrong person to be asking.

When someone says they're a lesbian who's attracted to trans men, they're trying to share something about themselves with you! That is a precious, unique thing you are being entrusted with. Get curious! Ask them what those words mean to them, and take the opportunity to get to know them better. Learn their story! Connect!

I can't tell you that person's story any more than you can guess it on your own, no matter how much you try to logic it out. That's exciting! The world is big, and it's full of unique stories and perspectives you couldn't even dream of inventing! That's so much better than a logic puzzle, don't you think?

[genderqueerdykes]

tbh your (and other intersex bloggers') posts about how agab is simply an event and means nothing in the way of body parts has helped me a lot in self acceptance? idk if I can really say that because I'm a perisex trans boy, it's not really my relief or validation to have... but its helped me like. idk. hate how I was born less. I hated thinking of myself as AFAB until recently, I already believed it but your posts really just helped me properly internalize how little it means. it's helped me more appreciate the trans part of my transmasculinity. idk hopefully that isn't appropriative or offensive to say. I just wanted to tell u

i don't think that's offensive, i've met a few people who are in a similar line of thinking that really opened my eyes to how broad perisex experiences can be, too. i've met several trans guys who were assigned female at birth, but did not identify with it. they identified as cis men with male bodies, already as they were, no hormones or surgery required. that they simply already had male bodies. i've met trans women with the exact same identities. i dated a trans woman who saw her body as a female body, without needing any modifications.

like hear me out, but i think in order to totally free ourselves from the biological sex binary, we have to give perisex people wiggle room, too. obviously, a perisex person shouldn't identify as intersex, but i think you're allowed to say. no, the doctor was wrong actually, my body is (this). you're not denying the parts you're born with or the hormones your body produces, but you are challenging the notion of what a "Female" or "Male" body is and looks like- which is exactly what we need to see more of in order to progress forward with intersex and sex variant liberation.

we need to be encouraging people who are willing to deconstruct what "male" and "female" bodies are and look like. we need to understand that this benefits all trans and intersex people. we can and should care about liberating perisex people from this binary as well. it helps perisex people interact with and learn more about intersex identities as they learn more about their own. it's an exchange. it's a dialogue. i'm really glad you realized that about yourself, you deserve to feel comfortable in your body! take care of yourself

[sunnycantaloupe]

"Since when was this marriage valid?!" Piece 4

Riddle's segment

This with Riddle, who was the young heir to the throne at the time the royal family would attend the Queen Of Hearts festival this year. It was his first time attending the festival, and his mother put a lot of pressure on him because of it. The chances of him actually enjoying the event were low, until his friends (who he made in secret) recommended that he sneak away to a nearby park. He took them up on that offer.

He was having fun. He wasn't quite brave enough to play on the swings, but he was content with watching his friends play on them. He was actually enjoying himself. That was, until you showed up.

See, you were quite popular among your peers in school. You weren't rich or anything, but you always had the best marks on tests and all the homework answers. This led to attention, specifically from a few hardheaded boys your age that were in your class. During a class field trip to the festival, they approached you and asked if you wanted to play on the swings. Now, everyone knows what this means in child language, so you said no. They wouldn't relent though, so you took off.

That's how you found yourself at the park. Looking around frantically, you searched for a hiding spot until your eyes locked on Riddle's. That's when you got an idea.

Running at full speed towards him, you quickly took out a piece of paper and a pen and began to hastily draw something. Riddle looked on with curiosity as you finished your drawing, signing it at the bottom. Then, you practically shoved the pen in his face with an expectant look. When he blinked at your with confusion, you frantically told him to sign the paper.

Now, Riddle was a child that was very easily swayed if it's a situation with emotions involved. Due to your panic, he panicked and signed the paper without a fuss as his friends watched on. At that moment, the three boys chasing you rounded the corner and spotted you. Quickly, you took a rose out of your backpack (your father put that in as a good luck charm) and cut the head of it off with your school scissors.

Just as the boys approached, you grabbed the paper and shoved it in their face, claiming that "No, I won't play on the swings with you because I'm already married!". The boys stared in shock before sulking away. You let out a sigh as you waited for them to walk away far enough, before folding up the paper and sticking it in Riddle's shirt pocket along with the rose stem. He wasn't even able to get a word in before you waved him goodbye and left.

It took awhile to sink in, but once he realized what just happened he decided to dispose of the paper and stem accordingly...though surely it could wait until he got home, right?

After dealing with endless teasing from his friends, he eventually got back to the main area. Unfortunately he wasn't sneaky enough and got caught and harshly lectured by his mom when they got back to the palace. Due to him being grounded, he didn't get the chance to dispose of the paper. Unfortunately, he would never get the chance due to fate and timing.

...

20 years later, and Riddle is 27 now. He's become a "distinguished young man", as his mother would say. His days were filled with more classes and studying, though this time the topic of the classes were focused on the things he'd need to know in order to rule. He got through these classes flawlessly, as one would expect of Crown Prince Rosehearts.

Now, the topic of his marriage is a topic he disliked, a lot. Growing up, it was drilled into his head that romantic love was an unnecessary thing in life and that it wasn't needed, and therefore shouldn't be sought for. Predictably, Riddle took this to heart and was actually quite content with it.

Unfortunately, over the past year his mother had suddenly changed her tune. She claimed that she "wasn't getting any younger" and she "wants to see her grandchild before I go". Riddle, having grown just a smidge of a backbone towards her told her that marriage wasn't something that interested him and that he'd be perfectly fine ruling alone, if that was what she was worried about.

That worked, for like a month until she took matters into her own hands. Due to her still technically being queen, she simply went ahead and arranged for him to have a fiancé and get married in a few months. Now, Riddle wasn't happy with this. He wasn't happy then when she introduced them, and he isn't happy now. His mother wouldn't relent though.

As he sat in his wing's library, he lamented his fate. If he had to get married, couldn't he have at least chosen who it was? The person his mother picked was surely well educated and had a high social standing, but he barely knew them. What if they didn't get along? What if they married and it turned out that they were insufferable? Goodness, he wished he was a kid again...

That's when he remembered a specific memory. A happy one, during one of the annual festivals where he snuck to a local park to watch his friends play on the swings. He really wishes he had enough courage to join them. Then, there was you. The strange child who made him sign a paper, only to find out later that it was a marriage certificate....wait a minute...

The next day, Riddle approached his mother with his back up straight as usual. This time though, anxiety shot through his veins as he places the terribly drawn marriage certificate and very much dead and withered rose stem on her desk. It took a moment for her to get it, but when she did, she was furious.

Unfortunately for, well, both of them, according to the rules regarding royal marriage (which actually isn't a lot-), the certificate was very much valid in the eyes of the Queen Of Heart's law.

With that, you and your family were summoned to the palace at once. Please forgive him for disrupting your life like this. It will only be a year, and after that you may go back to your normal life and live it as you please.

A/N: This was actually pretty enjoyable to write, considering that I already had my concept for this written. I actually really like all of them, and can't wait to post them for you guys. As stressful as this is, who knew writing for people was so satisfying??

[postcardsfromheapside]

This is a great post which shows how fans can complain about a "new" thing in Veilguard which actually had precedent in prior games. Which is correct, and good, and there have been many excellent and informed posts in this vein, because so many of you have been making complaints like this because it's either been too long since you played the prior games, or you didn't pay attention, and instead of just *asking*, you got up in your feels about how VG is terrible and now other posters are having to do the heavy lore lifting for you.

I'm begging you.

Stop being "originalists." Things don't have to have appeared in prior games or books in order to be valid in sequels.

Sometimes "universes" introduce new things you never saw in prior iterations of the 'verse. Star Wars is an excellent example of this.

I know Dragon Age has a "big guiding binder" that it works off of, but it is literally okay if another game comes out, and you are suddenly introduced to new details that you never heard before.

Do they seem to work logically/consistently within the DA universe? (don't make bad faith arguments about it) Are there precedents for oddities? Are the new details from a society you haven't encountered before (or only briefly), so you just need to absorb it into your lore encyclopedia? If someone made declarative statements AGAINST the oddities, does that someone have a limited, or unreliable perspective?

Most importantly, remember that worlds can change. Societies and cultures shouldn't be static. Even Tolkien worked linguistic and cultural drift into his writing.

It's really disheartening to me that someone can look at Bellara using a bow, and complain about it instead of saying "wow, that's really neat!!" and imagine how and why that fits into Dalish cultures, especially northern Dalish culture (remember, we're 10 years on and in the north of Thedas, not the south, and clan culture can differ even if they inhabit a similar area of Thedas)

For all this site will say "HEADCANON ACCEPTED" about some of the most inane and ridiculous ideas I've ever seen proposed, a lot of y'all are ruthlessly stubborn about considering what's put forth by professional media creators.

[agirlwithglam]

becoming selfish is the best thing i ever did.

✧*. * · ~ thewizardliz 💖🕯

💖 stop going into arguments with people who are not willing to listen. it is completely useless. if your boundaries were crossed, and the other person is not willing to say "im sorry for doing that, i won't do it again", then conversation over. its done. its not worth your time or energy.

🕯prioritise your own needs and wants. fill your own cup! are you okay? are you whole? if you don't want to do something, dont do it. whatever you want, comes first.

💖 stop being always available and trying to save everyone. if you keep on being there for people- again and again and again, you are letting people use you. people will only reach out to you if they have problems or they need help. but what about when everything is going good? then what? do they come to you? you are showing them that they can always come to you and you will always be there but that shouldn't be the case. be able to say "i dont want to listen to your problems today. i have enough of my own problems and goals to worry about." the only reason they come is because YOU allow them to come.

you ask yourself why does anyone not make sure i am ok? thats because YOU do not make sure you're okay. remember that you cannot save everyone. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO SAVE EVERYONE.

🕯sometimes god gives you situations so you can grow. also if you are constantly trying to step in for God to help and save everyone, you may also be sabotaging God's plan. people give certain problems/ situations in their life because God gives it to them so they can grow wiser and better! why are you trying to save them? its not your responsibility.

💖 be okay with people misunderstanding you. if you have a goal or a dream in your life, NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO UNDERSTAND YOU. people come from different households, religions, schools, etc. they will not understand you or have the same mindset/ heart as you. be OKAY with people not understanding you. they are not you.

"oh why did they hurt me/ treat me like that, i would never do that to them" honey, they're not you. they don't have the same personality or heart as you. if you're constantly gonna go through life thinking that everyone has the same heart as you, you will be hurt. i have done that so often thinking that i'm a good friend to them so they will do the same back, its not always true. you will be hurt. people are just different. and thats okay! let them be.

🕯realise that you can only change yourself. stop trying to change people. they will not change unless they are willing to. our human nature is comfort- humans love comfort. in order to change, it takes going through discomfort. it takes strength. some people are completely oblivious to themselves- they think that everything is perfect and nothing is wrong with them, etc. and yk what? let them be. you cannot change them. but you can change yourself. and if you do not want to change, you're not going to change. no one can force you to change unless you want to. by trying to change others and help them become their best version, you're wasting your energy to become YOUR best version and to create your dream life!

💖 stop needing people to validate your self worth. "i dont need anyone to tell me how good i am. i dont need anyone to tell me how beautiful i am or smart i am. because i see those qualities in myself already." KNOW who you are. if you get a compliment, say thankyou, be grateful. but don't crave it. be okay with not receiving it and not needing it because you already know that you're all that. if you need that compliment or words from other people, then they are basically in charge of you because their opinion can change your reality entirely and shake you. when YOU are the one that always creates your own reality! be strong in your ownself otherwise you'll be like their little puppet. know that you know what? im amazing. i've been through so much stuff in life but i'm still coming out strong and i'm still standing.

🕯treat yourself as your own best friend. talk to yourself! in her video, liz said that she talks to herself before bed and tells herself about her day. (for that i recommend videoing yourself! its so much fun) or when she's stressed she says to herself why are you feeling stressed? what exactly are you feeling? and then she tells herself and talks to herself. BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. hype yourself up in your mind! comfort yourself, have a conversation, etc. give the advice to yourself. go on dates with yourself, hug yourself, love yourself.

💖 less chasing, more attracting. being feminine basically means letting it flow and go. being calm and at peace. being relaxed because you know that you attract all your blessings. when you're not desperately looking for things, or chasing after things, then your whole. your energy is whole. when the energy of desperation is gone, then you can attract everything you want into your life.

🕯only add great people to your life. make sure that whoever you date, are friends with, hang around- they need to add value to your life. its not only in terms of money, its also in terms of are you making me happy? are you reciprocating my energy? people that are always negative or always complaining, do not allow them into your life. do not be friends with people who are being miserable then complain about being miserable but don't do anything about it.

💖 stop seeking other people's permission to do whats best for you. you don't need someone to say "you can do it!" because you know you can. be independent- liz doesn't need to ask anyone for money because she is already making her own money. she is doing everything for herself. she has everything she need to support herself and people she loves.

like how cocky are you to think that you know be better than i know myself? lol. you have not been through what i have been through. you have not lived my life and yet you're here deciding whats good for me and what i should be doing? um, no thanks! xoxo.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Say, if someone were to take a long time (more than months) before speaking up about racism, are they wrong for not immediately addressing it and instead letting the hurt fester? The first time it happened I was questioning my own perception, and by the time I became sure, it feels like it's too late (and it's also been very long after the last time I saw it happen too), and I feel like I also played a part in not immediately speaking up because of fear of the consequences. None of the racism were big enough, but if I were to list every instance then wouldn't it look like I'm being petty and trying to smear campaign someone? Or immature for being avoidant and not communicating my hurt immediately?

I'm going to approach this from an antiblackness perspective, since that's what I talk about here.

I think it depends on a couple of factors. Are you Black? If so, then no, it's not wrong to feel hurt about it no matter how long ago it happened. What you experienced was wrong, and it'll always be wrong. Plus, not wanting to speak up because you know it'll just be a threat to you is a common reason why Black people usually don't speak up about racism. Because yeah, you'll get dogpiled and gaslit and abused when you dare suggest someone was *gasp* bigoted toward you and needs to apologize! There's no statute of limitations on racism, and we shouldn't have to create an entire case to prove ourselves the way we do. That said, if this is a stranger, you will probably not be able to approach on the offensive because you let the time pass. So unless you have receipts, really all you can do is block them and move on with your life, or tell them privately "hey, this thing you said/did wasn't okay. I didn't say anything before because I wasn't sure how you'd take it, but I have not felt as safe around you since then, and I felt you needed to know" (and then probably block them). And you can't expect them to take it well- all you can do is say something, if you choose to at all. And if they take it that poorly, now you have the ability to tell others "yeah, this person did not take hearing about their bigotry well, and is not safe for Black people to be around". Because I would want to know if who I'm sharing from hates me.

If you are not Black, then I want you to consider (using your words) why the racism wasn't "big" enough, especially given that it wasn't dangerous towards you. What do you need to see in order to speak up? And by allowing it to get that large, recognize that you helped create a space where that behavior was safe and acceptable by saying nothing when all the "small" racism was occurring! That said, people are going to take it as petty regardless of your intent, because that's how racism is treated both here and outside the internet. It may be demeaned, treated as a smear campaign, because people think calling out racism is worse than being racist. So it really depends on how much you're willing to stand on it. You saw all these things happen, you have the receipts, you know you're in the right- are you willing to speak up? Are you willing to accept what may happen, or are you more worried about your own comfort? Maybe you'll allow Black people who saw all that racism feel heard and valid, so they can speak up too. Maybe you'll start a conversation that needs to be had. Maybe you'll be a step towards cracking that environment where this racism was acceptable, or worse case scenario, you'll recognize that this isn't a place you want to be if racism is treated so lightly. Those are hard decisions!

Sorry that this probably didn't make you feel better, but it's not a light topic.

[nartml]

I get that THW was going for a sobering message of "sometimes you have to let people go" and "some friends can't stay forever", but it was hilariously unsuccessful.

It's still baffling to me, the amount of raving reviews calling it "the perfect ending".

Apart from the wild thematic inconsistencies, and the endless flaws with Hiccup's logic of "oh, yeah, I know that things have never before been this good for dragons, I know that Berk is living proof that even the most stubborn people can change their minds on dragons, I know that dragons thrive on companionship and love their humans, I know that good people exist, I know that I'm the instigator of a huge revolutionary period, butttttt..... because bad humans exist I'll lock away the entirety of the draconic population in a glorified underground cage, in the hopes that one day humans will stop being bad and learn to cooperate with the creatures that they question, or even forget, the existence of a measly decade after their disappearance. Magically.", this message plainly didn't fit.

Not just in a thematic context. I mean that it literally doesn't fit in this situation, and it doesn't fit the characters.

It doesn't even fit reality, because you have to let go of people for reasons. Some friends can't stay forever, for reasons.

Valid ones. Reasons like, you grew apart, you don't have shared interests anymore, they betrayed you in an unforgivable way, they're not good for you, they're not good to you, they died, etc etc.

Had any one of these happened? At any stage? The one thing you could, albeit pointlessly, argue is that they grew apart. That they outgrew each other.

Only that...they didn't? Did I miss something? Because Toothless flying away for, what, a day to spend some time with his love interest, is not outgrowing. Toothless finding romance does not mean that he and Hiccup grew apart.

And this isn't just about the Light Fury. I'm not discussing whether or not she's a good character (she isn't), and I'm not discussing whether or not she deserves Toothless (Ha, you're funny). Even if she were the absolute best, most perfect match for Toothless and a compelling character, it still wouldn't even remotely mean that he and Hiccup grew apart.

In fact, if you grow so far apart from your best friend that you can say goodbye to them forever, just because you found a new partner, then I really don't know what to tell you. (Except that you're probably not a good friend.)

Hiccup realizing that Toothless doesn't make him who he is, and doesn't define him, that he doesn't need Toothless in order to be someone, or even that he doesn't need Toothless at all, doesn't mean that he outgrew him. Not even slightly.

I mean, come on, I don't need the vast majority of people in my life. Arguably, I might not even need any of the people in my life. This doesn't mean I don't want them there.

This doesn't mean that I won't fight for them to stay right here, by my side.

Oh, look, how's that for a change? How about a movie where your friends refuse to leave you? Because that's what I want, and that's what How To Train Your Dragon deserved.

That's what Hiccup, and the rest of the Berkians, deserved. And that's what fit. That's what thematically fit, what fit reality, or at least the httyd reality, and what fit the characters themselves.

This movie treated the dragons as mindless pets, whereas in every other step of the way, they were treated as people.

Toothless isn't a just slobbery puppy.

Toothless is intelligent, curious, kind, understanding, funny, snarky and sarcastic, graceful, elusive, protective, loving, wary, and fucking loyal (plus much more).

I can't think of a character that has demonstrated as much loyalty and protectiveness as this guy.

And yet he was barely any of the aforementioned things in thw. He became unrecognizable.

All the dragons became unrecognizable, for no justifiable reason.

The final message shouldn't have been that your friends sometimes have to leave you, and that you have to let them go.

(The humans left the dragons just as much as the dragons left the humans btw)

It should've been that they'll fight tooth and nail to stay, even when the going gets tough, even when priorities shift, even when you tell them to go.

No matter how passionately you insist that caring for you is rotten work.

It's not to them.

[ghostlymarauder]

This is, again, a rant about the Grishaverse, on this occasion, about things that annoy me, so if you disagree, you're correct, too.

Let me preface this by saying: I love the books! I devoured the original trilogy, and I'm currently reading the SOC duology. However, there's things that make me want to kill someone:

1. Let's start off with one of the most important: In Russian (one of the base language for Ravkan), Grisha is basically Greg. Yes, it also means "watchful" BUT my problem is that if you're using a language as the base for another language, you shouldn't use something as common as "Greg" to be the name of your supernatural/magical/whatever-the-hell-Grisha-are species.

2. Tailors. And you might ask: what's the problem with Tailors? Well, technically, none. The problem is that it is stated that ALL the Corporalki are capable of using tailoring. FURTHERMORE, NINA ZENIK HAS A SIDE HUSTLE AS A TAILOR. So, why was Genya made fun of? Because if I remember correctly, the Grisha saw her as "useless"... But the Corporalki are capable of being Tailors, too? I don't, it's just confusing.

3. And, speaking of confusing things: the plurals and singulars of the Grisha orders... What do you mean a group of Heartrenders is a group of Corporalki, BUT ONE HEARTRENDER IS A CORPORALNIK??? it's unnecessarily complicated, and I refuse to discuss it.

4. Another thing that bothers me to unexplainable levels is the Squallers' trick at the end of Ruin and Rising... Like, you're telling me Squallers are capable of bending sound, that they know they're capable of bending sound, but no one ever told the Darkling about it. NOT ONLY THAT. You're telling me that in 400 YEARS the Darkling never learned that ability? Why wasn't it used before? No, it was kept for Sankta Alina.

5. I already talked about this in another post, so I'm not going in too much depth: Alina losing her powers at the end of Ruin and Rising is unnecessary and unfair.

6. Keeping it on the topic of Alina... Why did Mal survive? It would've been so interesting to see Alina lose Mal, keep her powers, and be sent in the same path as the Darkling. It would've been so interesting to see if she would become the same as Alekzander or not. Instead, the tracker lives and she gets happily ever after?????

7. What language do they speak in Ravka? Because it's technically Ravkan, but on multiple occasions, the distinction of a single word said in Ravkan is made, meaning they have to speak something else most of the time... But what? Is it English?

8. I am become a blade. No need to explain that one.

9. I'm still reading SOC, so I'll perhaps have another opinion once I read the King of Scars duology, but why the fuck does Zoya become all-powerful (and I mean that literally, she all Etherealki types in one, and I'm pretty sure she also develops Corporalki abilities) yet Alina loses her powers? I'm offended by that, and it's coming from someone who LOVES Zoya's character.

10. The maps and geography of the Grishaverse. I don't think explanation is truly needed, just look at the maps and tell me there isn't something weird.

I'll probably keep adding to this in the future, but if you want to add something that annoys you or debate one of my points, that's completely valid, too!

[hwnglx]

felix's real personality behind the scenes

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

+ so the central theme for the first part of the reading, was the word “healing”. this is sweet actually, since i do think a lot of his public image is also tied to that, and it does appear to be a genuine part of his personality.

felix is a person who can have a profound impact on people, in a way where he just soothes them quite naturally. his presence alone can have that calming effect. there's a lot of gentleness to his energy. he's someone people would want to seek out when there's chaos and stress in their life, and they need a source of comfort and positivity. he enjoys giving that to people, and being that type of existence for them. it fulfills him, and can make him feel better about himself.

the stray kids member is the type of person who, instead of being relentlessly competitive and drama-prone, chooses to connect to people in a close manner. he's someone who truly doesn't enjoy drama and conflict.

felix wants to put himself into other people's shoes, genuinely empathize with them, make them feel validated and understood. he usually isn't a person who feels the need to selfishly put himself above anyone in order to lift himself up, or sees people as competition somehow. he just isn't the type who'll consciously choose to fight you, if he can befriend you instead. definitely an “everybody's darling” type of energy.

however, what's definitely worthy to note.. his softness does not equal weakness. on the contrary; felix is someone who's much more masculine and bold than some people might think. he isn't an easy target or pushover, and is in possession of his strong opinions he won't budge away from. if he feels strongly about something, he will not be the type to surrender that easily. in fact, he's very passionate in his autonomy.

i kept getting this feeling, that he's just amazing at wisely picking his battles, and acting with clear intention. although i do see him having his explosive moments, that definitely might catch some people off guard sometimes, considering the duality that's present here.. i don't really see him being a person who allows himself to let loose at the wrong time. i don't see him being someone so overly impulsive that he steps on people's toes, or crosses lines he shouldn't cross.

he's still got a tight enough grip on his emotions, that he's capable of staying conscious of when to let them bubble to the surface. if it's justified and he clearly feels like he's in the right though; you're likely to see a different side to felix, that's much more opinionated and dominant than you think.

this man just has amazing tact, and knows when to let out different sides of himself. he knows who to be more submissive towards, and who he can be more commanding with. he knows how to behave according to what benefits him the most, and which behavior will be to his biggest advantage. some people could look at this as selfish, and see it as more of a yellow flag. the lines are a little blurred here.

felix will be the sweetest and most generous person in the world, if he feels like you can help him out in some manner.

if there's someone who knows how to network in this business, it's him. i wouldn't be surprised if a good amount of his deals are a result of people just genuinely liking him as a person, and almost feeling this desire to return his kindness. (i'm not downplaying his talents! but he just gives the industry's darling too, which i saw in my jyp reading as well)

i can see him doing things like giving gifts, and being of service, or just extra nice to some people in power, who can give him the opportunities or attention/clout he wishes for.

he definitely can have his materialistic and opportunistic tendencies, which again, is likely to be more blurred in terms of “green and red flags”

he's just very clever and strategic, as well as more calculated than what meets the eye. he knows exactly what he's doing when sweetly smiling at you; he knows what effect he has on you. he's someone who charms people like it's the easiest thing in the world, and knows how to make use of his appeal.

- so, emphasizing this again; felix isn't stupid, he's very smart. he isn't a fool, he isn't the naive and innocent angel that he might portray himself as at times.

he's good at detaching himself from people.. the type that makes you feel like you're close to him, when you probably only know like 15% of who he actually is.

he's great at hiding away several parts of himself, especially the more “negative” ones. meaning, he usually disguises e.g. his negative opinions on people behind an agreeable smile, holds grudges deep down he probably won't tell you about, if he feels like it'd ruin the image you have of him. if felix openly and straight up tells you he doesn't like you, it's probably because he doesn't really see any use in being nice to you.

in addition, i can see him weaponizing his kindness at times. going back to the insights for the green flags, he is someone who's genuinely sweet towards many people.. however, some of that does come from him wanting to earn something and benefit from those acts of service.

if you end up in an argument with him, it's likely for felix to throw those acts of kindness into your face, and guilt-trip you for being so ungrateful. he's amazing at making you feel like an awful person. he was being so nice to you, and you're doing him wrong like that? felix is definitely someone who's great at manipulating narratives to his own advantage, and making himself look like the good guy in most scenarios.

he's for sure another idol, who i'd add to the list of “i suggest not fighting him” unless you wanna see a completely different side to him.

it's highly likely for a colder and less considerate side to come out, once you manage to rile felix up, and he feels done wrong by you. he can get very defensive, and quite ruthless and harsh, especially verbally. more cut-throat than he usually is.

i do think a lot of this comes from “i will hurt you before you can hurt me.” deep down, felix seems to have some unhealed wounds, especially in terms of his self worth.. this can lead to him becoming extra defensive if he feels like you could potentially rip off the bandaid, since he's still trying to heal.

note; this is lowkey making me sad, since.. many of his green flags were about healing and helping others, making them feel validated. it's almost like, he wants to heal others, because he can struggle healing himself.

i have to add, i do believe he cares more than he'd like to admit to himself, especially about people's opinion on him. again, i just don't think he wants to, since it can consume him a lot.

felix is someone who needs validation, and wants to feel like he's some sort of use to people in order for him to feel worthy.

the stray kids member is the type to overcompensate because he can quickly feel inadequate for people; especially when it comes to his work. i can see him being obsessive about his craft, his public image, his reputation. he seems to struggle finding real satisfaction, and can often pour way too much of himself into his work out of this fear that he isn't enough.

he's the type of person who's better at recognizing the things he lacks, rather than acknowledging his abilities, or the high place he's at. it's like.. something's always lacking, it's never truly enough. he can get very thirsty in terms of his career.

i do think a large part of this, comes from a lack of genuine and substantial self-love, without all the glamour and fame. he sees himself at his most lovable in work- and idol-mode, and can quickly feel like he's of much less value outside of that.

i can also sense him easily feeling like he doesn't have much to offer, outside of his more superficial qualities. like people wouldn't like him the way they do, if he wasn't in possession of his good looks, his money, his status. this can result in him getting pretty obsessive over keeping those things in check.

this is something i've seen in a few idols now. it's almost like fame can turn into this.. type of drug almost, that gives you this high, which you always end up chasing. a lot of idols realize, especially later on in their careers, that so much of that is just empty. it's a shallow type of “fulfillment” that looks nicer on the outside than it actually is. but once you're there, it can quickly turn into something you still can't get enough of.

[ropebunnykant]

Apologies for the incoming essay... Re. Kant and choices and him choosing to involve Style - look, nobody's out here trying to say Kant's eligible for best friend of the year! But there does seem to be a lot of retroactive woobifying of Style, attempts to exempt him from the current tangled web, etc., when, lest we forget, he agreed to try and seduce a man FOR A CAR. He then proceeded to stalk said man, and to disrupt and exploit a grief counselling session FOR A CAR. Of course Kant shouldn't have involved him (but when your options are limited and you're desperate, you're not always thinking straight), but it was Style's own a) automotive greed and b) bruised ego (after their vehicular run-in) that got him where he is today. It was a bargain that he himself suggested - it wasn't even Kant's idea! Let's be honest, he could've just said nah mate, you're alright, and what could Kant have done about it? Style is not untouched by the taint! And that's okay - let him be messy too (the fact that he'd already had a couple of fraught encounters with Fadel even before Kant introduced them was a deliberate decision on the writers' part)! He had his own agenda going into this which he'd need to apologise for regardless of the added assassin shenanigans, and once he's in the know, he becomes as responsible as Kant for what happens next - they're both faced with the same choice: confess in order to try and keep the brothers out of jail, or stay schtum, despite their misgivings, out of fear for their own lives. And they both chose the same path. All four of them have been lying to each other from the get-go, for multiple complex reasons, some maybe more valid or understandable than others, but point is that none of them are squeaky clean and ALL of them bear at least some responsibility for the colossal shitshow that they now find themselves in! And that's what makes it good TV!

(I'd also like to point out something I find interesting, which is that Kant's rhetoric with Style has always been about looking out for number one - he tells Style he's doing it to clear his record, get those charges off his back, outside the restaurant he talks about having to prioritise saving your own skin over everything else, even though that makes him sound a bit cold...but he's not doing it for himself, is he? He's doing it for Babe. He's doing it because of the repercussions that would fall on his little brother's head if anything were to happen to Kant, whether that be jail time or an early grave (though I'm not saying he'd be a-okay with either regardless!). Babe has been his driving force the entire show (as yours and others' beautiful meta has explored) - Kant does the OPPOSITE of prioritise himself, and has done so since his parents died, and that's why HE'S in this mess in the first place. But, to the best of my recollection, he never invokes Babe when he's trying to win over Style, and I can't decide if that's because it's a line he won't cross (though he did sort of cross it when using Babe as an excuse at karaoke, or does that not count cos it was a lie?), or because he truly doesn't see himself as self-sacrificing so wouldn't even think to frame it in those terms to someone else. Or a combo of both!)

I think part of the reason the Kant slander (by which I absolutely don't mean legit critical analysis or taking the well-earned piss out of him!) bothers me is because I'm conscious that First is, at least to a degree, aware of the negativity (and tagged into some of it because ppl suck), which is why every time I look online he seems to be apologising on his character's behalf. And yes, it is in jest, but, knowing he's an inveterate people pleaser, I also get the sneaking suspicion it's also partly genuine, which makes me sad.

yeah, aaaabsolutely agree with everything you’ve said here. like i think the argument about style has more merit too it, but at the same time im still sat here thinking, what was kant’s other option? because bison gives him this stipulation: if you want us to date, you have to find someone for fadel. and kant cant just cut his losses and say okay, then i guess we won’t date. he has to get close, he has to get this information. so he has to involve someone else, retroactively. and we can argue about if he should have told style the full truth from the beginning, but not only do we see the captain specifically tell him not to do that, but i think kant is well aware it would not have worked if he did. style would have blown the operation out of the water way too soon, if he even agreed in the first place which the odds of him doing without having some investment into fadel would have been very slim! like it sucks, but realistically, what else could kant have done that would have allowed him to do what he needed to? what other choice did he have?

and like you said, style is far from innocent! none of them are innocent in this! thats the whole point! and that’s the big thing, too, because it’s meant to be this complicated messy thing. they subbed in the women from taming in the shrew for assassins because it allows for this intense sort of courtship that was brought on by misogyny in the play, while also allowing us to understand that fadel and bison aren’t innocent, either. that they’re all fucked up and messy in their own ways.

and yeah, i think getting into the babe of it all just isn’t something kant is willing to do for the most part. i think he tries to keep babe out of it as much as possible, but using him as an excuse to get out of there was the most realistic thing he could do, especially when bison has already seen that protective brother side of him. and i also think that kant just doesn’t view himself highly in general. he doesn’t think of himself as selfless or self sacrificing because he knows the awful things hes had to do in order to keep babe safe and in his custody - and while maybe for other people knowing it’s for babe would help his case, he doesn’t feel that way. because obviously he wouldn’t change it, but it doesn’t mean he liked doing any of it, that he likes the lengths he’ll go. especially when i think he thinks if babe knew, he wouldn’t like any of it, either. babe already didn’t like just the lying to bison. can you imagine what he’d think if he knew kant had drugged him once? if he knew all of it was built on a false start? kant probably thinks babe would hate him for it all as much as he hates himself for it.

and as for the first of it all, i do hope despite the media literacy some people lack in it all that he knows he did a fucking incredible job with kant. i say this as someone who has been making detailed posts about first’s acting since the eclipse, but i genuinely think this is his strongest and most nuanced performance. hes made kant so, so clear and easy to understand if you’re paying attention, and i love him so dearly for it.

[midnight-fox-boy]

I know this is a very high emotion topic right now but I think I need to say this.

To my USA pals; If you see any posts from a trans person talking about potentially detransitioning/going back in the closet and they list strong reasons as to why they're considering it (living in specific areas for example), please do not react with "No! Don't! Don't let them win that's what they want!!".

Like don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should encourage people to go back in the closet or to "give in". But I DO think that this mindset places an unfair responsibility onto that person. It comes off as seeing it as a betrayal, as "giving up and conforming", as a "loss".

It comes off as thinking someone needs to put their life on the line to loudly fight for what is right. That they must exist as they are publicly regardless of the dangers.

If someone GENUINELY feels that they will be safer going back into the closet until this is all over, that's valid. We shouldn't support them in whatever choices they make and remind them that they are still welcome within his community.

Buuuuttt, I think it's also okay to speak logically, especially if the person is asking for input or something. Helping the person find any potential helpful resources (or how to find those resources) to live as safely and healthily as possible.

I think it's okay to suggest waiting and seeing how things go before hastily making an emotionally charged decision that they may regret. I think it's okay to remind them that there's options in-between fully detransitioning/going into the closet, and being OUT loud and proud. For example maybe that's boy/girlmoding at work/school or going partially back into the closet, but not fully.

By basically telling people they have to be okay with being in danger no matter how scared they are or else they've basically done something wrong or bad, you're just going to contribute to more guilt, fear, and feelings of being alone.

And remember that many trans people are parents. Sometimes a parent may choose decisions they really don't want to do in order to keep their children safe.

I know this is not intended..I know you're not trying to guilt them or imply that they're contributing to the "enemy winning", but it can very much cause those kinds of feelings. They have not failed us. They have not failed themselves.

We will fight as a community, and we will fight for those who have to do whatever they can to survive and be safe, even if they can't be on the front lines. Our collective strength is enough to carry them.

[ennn]

Finale predictions for Agatha All Along

Time to lock in your bets! Here's what I guess/expect will happen based on shots from trailers/promos. 'Tis in good fun and some of these I'm definitely more confident about than others -- under a cut because this post is a long one:

The Earth trial in episode 8 is focused on Billy because he is part of the coven. I expect it to tackle the question raised of "Am I Billy or am I William?" I mean, we know he's both but I'm sure they'll execute a dramatic answer. I'm guessing Agatha's grabbing his head for a spell to unlock his suppressed memories and power.

The trial should still have a heavy death theme (the characters emerge from body bags when entering the area). Someone (apologies i forgot who) mentioned that it makes sense because Billy should be dead and in the earth. The danger of the trial is being buried alive.

At some point during the trial I guess Agatha tells Billy and Jen something about Nicky as there's a promo shot with her holding the locket open and saying "death". I assume both Billy and Jen hear this as there seems to be only one big cell of a room. Yay coven bonding time!

I guess we'll get a split of Agatha backstory flashbacks across Episode 8 and 9. I do expect an Agatha and Rio flashback kiss happening in 8 and flashbacks would make sense if Agatha's telling her story to the two of them during 8.

So, we know from ep 7 that there are ways to leave the Road without completing it.

Given we get a shot of Jen crawling out of the ground at what looks like the outskirts of Westview near the town sign, I'm guessing Agatha's going to get Jen and Billy off the Road before the End by tricking or outmanoeuvring them somehow (credit to @trickofthelights for this idea by the way).

Agatha's actually trying to keep them safe from Death but they'll think she's a manipulative asshole (just when they were bonding!). I call it the Bad Wolf / The Parting of the Ways plot thing.

Before they split Billy gets a clue of what Agatha's up to when his mind-reading power unexpectedly kicks in – the setup I talked about here. Either Agatha is too distracted in the moment to shield her mind or she deliberately does so to give him a hint.

There's also a promo shot of Billy doing his blue magic over what looks like the entrance to the Road. He's wearing different clean clothes so I guess he and Jen have been out of the Road long enough to clean up and probably work out what Agatha's really up to. I'm guessing Billy's doing something to help Agatha or influence the Road. He's emotional enough that his magic kicks in. Probably where he suits up as Wiccan.

Agatha and Rio face off in the final "battle" and Agatha gets absolutely wrecked because throwing hands with Death with zero powers ain't gonna work any better the second time.

I doubt the fight will be a straightforward one, even after Agatha gets her powers back. Schaeffer doesn't like simple, black-and-white conflicts. See: the Black Widow movie and Wandavision where even Agatha who was really being self-serving made valid points.

And I don't think Death herself can be defeated in a conventional sense. As a genre-savvy rule, even if you are able to, binding or trapping or hindering a personification of Death is usually a bad thing (can you believe I looked up the recent Puss in Boots movie for further validation on this). You shouldn't mess with Death because it messes with the natural order and witches are supposed to be rooted in nature.

My guess is with Rio some kind of balance needs to be restored, Agatha owes some kind of debt that needs to be paid – before the Road can give her what she needs. This goes back to the initial concept Schaeffer had before Rio of a "debt collector".

I'm also still hanging onto my theory that something is up with that crystal gem thing Death looks to be holding now but was previously wearing. What is that in her left hand?

[genderqueerdykes]

I really appreciate your support of endo systems as someone who is (maybe) pural and non-traumagenic. Its genuinely so lovely to hear, I've never gotten the people who say endo systems are bad. Brains do things strangely, and I adore my headmates. They are my people, even if most of them don't speak to me much. So thanks, I love my system, and how I am, its always good to hear someone stand up for, and support, myself and those I care about

hello!

i agree, i don't understand folks who say that endogenic, natural, spiritual and other non-traumagenic systems are bad. y'all are literally just existing. it comes across as virtue signalling, as if someone is trying to show how much they support dissociatives by doing something that harms all plurals. like, you can't prove or disprove whether or not another person is plural. there's no definitive way to tell whether or not that's what someone else is experiencing, why bother getting upset about it?

i'm glad you have your system, and that you love being who you are! you don't deserve to get shit on just because you're walking through life in the way that makes sense to you. its your life/lives, it's your choice/s to make. saying "there are multiple people living in my head with me" will not cause real damage to anyone or anything. that's up to you to figure out

you're welcome, as someone with DID, i just really do not like the concept of policing other people's brains. every plural with DID has a completely different experience than the person with DID next to them. every plural has a wildly unique experience because brains really can just do that. someone shouldn't have to be forced into viewing their plurality as inherently disordered in order to be seen as valid.

besides like, the reason other terms were created was to respect dissociative and traumagenic systems' needs and space like... that's why other terms were created. because people didn't wanna speak on experiences they don't know about. that's extremely respectful. if anything, i'd say that's a major indicator that most endogenic systems do not want to step on dissociatives' toes, and this is how people respond to their efforts to remain respectful. it needs to stop