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#I'M PRETTY SUSPICIOUS MY DUDES

ariaxmu · 12 days

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one kiss, and he was gone.

a mattheo riddle x fem! reader smut with plot

summary: mattheo finds himself utterly obsessed with his best friend after sharing one innocent kiss with her. smut! p in v, making out, swearing, dirty talk, desperate love making, use of a vibrator during sex, squirting, he is so down bad it's amazing.

warnings: smut incoming!! this is my first time writing smut, so please bare with me. anybody who is not eighteen or above, do not read on. it is not on me whatever content you consume, i warned u!

''oh shit'' mattheo mutters as i pull away from the kiss. i giggle, scooting back to my spot in the circle as i blush deeply. kissing my best friend was not on my list of things to do tonight, but it happened. mattheo stares at me, eyes shiny, mouth slightly agape as he froze in the spot.

''was it a good kiss mate?'' draco says, smirking as he grabs mattheo's shoulder and pushed him back to sit in his spot. mattheo is snapped out of his trance, clearing his throat.

''was- uh, yeah, good'' he chokes out in between awkward coughs. i giggle, feeling giddy and a little in awe too, just hiding it a lot better than he is.

and that's how it all began. mattheo and i have been best friends since first year. we have been through everything together. there was always feelings there, for me anyway. years of late night chats, ''platonic'' cuddling, drunken flirting, i just fell harder and harder. but i never fully acknowledged them, not wanting to truly believe i was in love with him because i did not want to ruin what we have.

but it got progressively more difficult, the older we got, feelings erupted, puberty happened, so you know. lots of feelings happened. but i never thought he felt the same, so i never thought into it too much as to not hurt myself.

-mattheo's pov-

i do not know what has gotten into me. i got to sleep, i think of her. i wake up, i think of her. i try to study, i think of her. i get drunk, i think of her. it's a never ending cycle that started after the kiss. i always found her beautiful, and there were some underlying feelings there which i tried not to think about. i mean, she's my best friend. i didn't know how to process them.

but then i felt her soft, pretty lips on mine, and i was gone. absolutely and utterly infatuated with her. and every day since i have had to pretend i'm not falling head over heels, falling off a cliff into a ditch and then rolling down another cliff in love with her.

''i do not know what to do. it's like- if i do not have her lips on mine ever again i will die'' i say, sipping on my water as i talk to enzo and theo about her for the one millionth time. we're just sat at breakfast in the great hall, a little earlier than usual.

''i always knew this would happen, y'know. you and her'' enzo smiled, nodding his head at me.

''i don't even know if she feels the same way, dude'' i sigh.

''she one hundred percent does. everybody knows this.'' theo says, matter of factly.

''how do i even go about this?'' i ask them both, desperate for help.

''you can't just tell her you love her, i mean- you've got to slip it in there and give some hints to see how she responds'' theo says. ''that way if she isn't into it you'll know before you tell her how you feel''.

i nod my head. ''okay, yeah that sounds good. i can do that, god knows i've been dying to flirt with her''.

-y/n pov-

i walk into the great hall, stomach rumbling with hunger. i quickly sit in my usual seat, beside theo and opposite mattheo. they all go completely silent as i sit down, and i look at them suspiciously.

''what is going on?'' i raise an eyebrow.

''nothing'' theo quickly blurts out, as i look over at mattheo who is just grinning at me.

''morning'' i giggle, finding the three of them strange but silly.

''good morning beautiful.'' mattheo says, over dramatically with the same cheeky grin as before.

''you guys are being weirder than usual today, which i thought was hard to beat but here we go'' i mumble as i eat my toast.

''speaking of- me and enzo have to uh, go and get something from our dorm so, we will see you tonight y/m'' theo says, as him and enzo scramble to stand up and leave the great hall, leaving just me and mattheo. i shake my head, weirdos.

''so, you'll be at the party tonight?'' mattheo says, leaning his elbows on the table. i nod quickly.

''mhm'' i nod.

''maybe we could do another round of spin the bottle, huh?'' he smirks, remembering what happened last time. i feel my cheeks heat up,

''maybe, yeah'' i giggle, feeling shy under his soft gaze.

''come on, we have class now'' he says, quickly finishing his drink as we both stand up, walking to the main doors.

''we don't have any classes together today'' i pout, looking up at him. he looks at me and smiled softly.

''you're so cute, i'll see you tonight then. don't miss me too much'' he says, pressing a kiss onto my forehead before walking off to his class.

is he trying to kill me?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧

''there she is'' mattheo grins when i walk into the common room, i smile back to him, heart jumping as he ditches the game and comes right over to see me. i was a little late, needing a small nap before we party the night away.

everybody is already considerably more drunk than i am, sat in a circle playing their apparent favorite game.

''did u miss me? hmm?'' he smirks, pulling me into a cute cuddle.

''oh, so much'' i say, over dramatically. ''i was having mattheo withdrawals''

''oh is that so?'' he winks. ''i guess you're going to need a lot of me tonight to make up for that, huh?'' he winks.

got, my stomach is just in constant butterflies lately. he has always been a little flirty with me, but not like today. it feels different, but i absolutely love it. he might be the death of me.

''mhm, i think so''. i mumble, hiding my blush from him as i pour myself a rather strong drink. ''so you've been playing for a while, or?'' i ask softly.

''eh, about twenty minutes'' he shrugs.

''did you- uh, kiss anyone yet?'' i ask, trying to be nonchalant about it, noticing there is a few other random slytherin students here tonight.

he raises an eyebrow, ''and would it matter if i did?''

''n-no! obviously not, just curious'' i gulp, waking a sip of my drink to hide my shy expression.

''only kissed theo and enzo, don't worry baby'' he mutters, pushing a strand of hair from my face. my stomach does twenty back flips as i blush profusely, baby?! confirmed, he is trying to kill me.

''lets join'' i choke out, as i rush past him to sit in between pansy and enzo, saying hi excitedly.

mattheo goes and sits back where he was before, mumbling something to theo as they fist bump and grin cheekily at each other. that same expression from this morning.

''y/n! since you've just joined us, we will give you enough time to get tipsy before you're kissing anybody, enjoy the show'' draco says, slurring on his words slightly as he speaks. i giggle at him, thanking him before a random slytherin girl grabs the bottle and spins it.

landing on enzo, she smiles before kissing him. it was sweet, honestly. everybody continues playing, mattheo having to kiss theo again, which surprisingly they have gotten completely used to by now.

then as i feel the alcoholic buzz hit me, i grab the bottle, signifying my turn. mattheo's eyes were stuck on me and the bottle before i spin it as hard as i could. silently i prayed it would land on mattheo, again. but the odds are much less likely as there are more people here tonight.

and it lands on some random slytherin guy i have barely spoke to before, i gulp, looking at him.

''uh- okay'' i mutter, leaning over the bottle as i plan on just quickly pecking him. he grabs the back of my neck, deepening the kiss before i pull my body away from him entirely, feeling utterly uncomfortable. i groan, wiping my mouth as he sits back with a smirk.

''not allowed dude! only a peck unless both are comfortable with more than'' draco smacks him round the back of the head.

i look over at mattheo, who is sat leant up against the sofa behind him, fists clenched as he glares at the guy. he looks furious.

''moving on..'' theo mutters, and everybody continues playing.

by the end i had only ended up kissing pansy twice, which to be honest i am grateful about. draco had kissed enzo three times in a row, blaise managing to kiss a slytherin girl he's been liking for a while, and mattheo just did not play, he observed.

everybody ends up migrating elsewhere, so i go to pour myself another drink, sipping it as i look around the room for mattheo. i can't fins him anywhere.

''hey, where did mattheo go?'' i ask theo, a little worried and missing him.

''he went to the astronomy tower for a smoke, you should go see him'' theo says, smirking. i nod, confused to his weird smirk, but ignoring it as i grab my wooly jumper, and rushing up to the tower.

i see him, elbows rested on the bars as he smokes, looking up at the sky. i smile softly, before walking up to him and putting my arms around him. he jumps, turning to me but calming down once he notices its me.

''oh, hey pretty.'' he mumbles.

''you okay?'' i say softly, keeping one hand on his back as i stand behind him.

''eh, i guess'' he groans, looking at me with a soft smile.

''talk to me'' i say gently, rubbing my hand up his back.

''i just-'' he sighs, ''if i'm honest, i really did not like that guy kissing you like that'' he sighs. ''and i guess i'm disappointed i didn't get to kiss you'' he says, cheeks a little red as he confesses.

my cheeks go red too, as i suppress a smile, knowing he must at least like me a little to be upset about that.

''that guy was weird, wasn't he? i did not like that.'' i say, cringing.

''i have never wanted to punch a guy so badly in my life.'' he snaps. i giggle.

''you know, you don't need a game of spin the bottle to kiss me, right?'' i say quietly, nervously, but extremely happy and excited.

''really?'' he says, throwing his cigarette over the railings, turning to look at me.

''obviously'' i giggle.

''you'd like that?'' he smirks.

''obviously'' i repeat.

''god i'm obsessed with you'' he mumbles, wrapping his arms around my waist, before pressing his lips against mine desperately. i moan gently as he kisses me harder than last time, more passionately than last time. his tongue swiped against my bottom lip, walking us back slowly until my back hits the wall gently. he puts his hand on my back of my neck, playing with my hair as he gently makes out with me.

my heart is just erupting with love, holding him as close as possible to my body as we kiss under the moonlight. he pulls back for a second for a breath, looking into my eyes.

''i fucking love you'' he breathes out.

''i love you so much' i whisper out, feeling overwhelmed with just how much i mean those words.

''i have wanted to kiss you every single time since i kissed you last time. i always knew something was there but it solidified it for me, then. i need you, i just need you to be mine'' he practically whimpers to me, pressing kisses to my lips in between his words.

''i'm yours, don't worry, i've been yours since i met you, matty'' i whisper, holding his pretty face in my hands.

''my girlfriend?'' he questions, kissing me again.

''your girlfriend. all yours'' i whisper, smiling at him.

''and you better believe i'm making that obvious to everybody else. get ready'' he grins.

''oh i'm ready'' i whisper, excitedly.

and he kisses me again, just as passionately as before, his tongue wiping my bottom lip, fingers digging into my hips, body pressed against mine.

before both of us get a little breathless, a little desperate to be closer.

''i need you'' he groans, kissing from my lips, down my jawline and to my neck.

''i need you'' i moan out, hands tangling in his hair as i get more needy for him.

''can we- can we go back to your dorm? i know pansy will be with draco tonight'' he whispers, looking at me. i nod quickly, ''lets go''.

i grab his hand, quickly walking with him back to the common room. ''wait!'' i say, stopping right outside of the common room doors. he looks at me, furrowing his eyebrows. ''we have to go past everyone! they will definitely know what's going on!''

''so? i'm gonna make sure they know and hear exactly what's going on.'' he smirks, kissing my lips quickly. ''i want them to hear just how good i'm making you feel'' he whispers on my ear, kissing my neck softly, before grabbing my hands. i giggle, pushing him back playfully as we head back inside together.

and as suspected, all of our friends eyes are locked instantly onto us.

''he has her lipstick all over his lips! i knew it!'' theo yells drunkenly.

i giggle, pushing mattheo past them all as they cheer and make loud almost animal noises as we head up to my dorm.

we immediately lock the door, turning on just a small bedside lamp.

he b lines straight to me, hands on my hips, as i wrap mine around his shoulders.

''if you aren't comfortable with anything, just tell me okay? or if you want me to stop, please tell me'' he says softly, pressing a kiss on the end of my nose. i nod, ''okay''.

his hands grip onto my jumper, pulling it over my head, leaving my in my top and skirt.

''maybe we keep this skirt on.. i like it'' he smirks, pressing a kiss to my lips before leading me over to the bed. he pulls off my t- shirt, leaving me in my black, lacy bra. and i swear he almost chokes.

''god- you're going to kill me'' he sighs, as i giggle at him.

he removes his own shirt and trousers, leaving him in just his boxers. i almost drool as i look at him. he is perfect in every way.

''lemme take these off for you, baby'' he whispers as i lay on the bed. he kneels by my feet as i bend my knees. his hands creep up my thighs, fingers hooking onto my underwear as he slowly pulls them down. breath hitches as his hands place on my knees to spread my legs apart, smirking at me as he just looks at me.

''fuck- you're so beautiful'' he groans, hovering over me as he kisses my softly. whilst kissing me, his hands creep under my back to unhook my bra, pulling it off of me without his lips leaving mine.

''shit, do you feel how hard i am? i don't think i have ever been this hard in my life'' he whispers, hands gripping onto my tits and kneading them whilst kissing down my neck.

he kisses down my chest, licking his way over to my sensitive nipples, hooking his mouth around one of them and sucking gently whilst his hand plays with the other. i whine, back arching up gently as he teases me. i whimper, as his mouth leaves my chest, kissing down my stomach and to my skirt.

he lifts up my skirt, moaning to himself as he looks at how wet i am. ''you're so fucking wet, i can see you glistening'' he grunts, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss against my clit. he giggles as i jump, feeling extra sensitive from how much i need his attention.

''please, mattheo, i need you. do something'' i whimpered.

''oh my baby, so desperate, you need my cock, is that it? you need me to fuck you into this bed?” he says teasingly, his voice only turning me on ten times more.

“please, yes” i whisper.

he quickly takes off his underwear, i rest up against my elbows as i look at him fully. woah. he is big.

“you like it, huh?” he smirks, jerking himself a couple of times before resting inbetween my legs. he leans down to press a soft kiss against my lips, kissing down my neck. he presses himself up against my entrance, me being so wet he slipped in with ease.

i let out a small moan/ gasp as he pushes himself fully inside of me, bottoming out.

“oh my god you’re so fucking tight” he groans, as i adjust to his size.

“m-move, please” i whimper out.

“such a good girl, always saying please. my good fucking girl” he whines out as he slowly moves in and out of me.

i feel my lower stomach clench as he starts to move faster, pushing into me fully and pulling all the way out. “f-fuck” he grunts.

“you’re so big” i cry out.

“does it feel good baby? so full and stretched out?” he asks, thrusting into me a little harder as i try to get my words out inbetween moans.

“f-fuck! yes it f-feels so good” i cried out.

“oh, look at you, already fucking ruined by my cock and i haven’t even started yet” he grins.

he grips onto my hips as his started moving faster, pounding into me a lot deeper and harder now as my toes curl.

“oh my god” i whine. “keep fucking me like that, p-please”

“look at me, don’t take your fucking eyes off of me” he groans, hand wrapping around my neck as he pounds into me even harder. “my pretty girl, fucking soaking me” he whispers, using his other hand to slowly rub circles on my clit.

my eyes roll back as he does, i choke out a moan, the combination of the two making me go insane.

“oh you love that… you like having your clit played with whilst i fuck you?” he groans. i can’t even reply.

“use your words.” he growls, to which i manage to choke out a yes.

“do you have a vibrator, baby?” he asks, slowing his thrusts. i nod, pointing towards the bedside drawer. he quickly opens it, grabbing my wand vibrator and turning it on.

“hold this on your clit whilst i fuck you, i need to focus on pounding this little pussy into the bed” he says, holding onto my hips and keeping up his rhythm as i cried out.

i put the vibrator on my clit, immediately letting out a whine, the combination of both sending me to another world.

“oh you fucking love it so much don’t you?” he breaths out, but i can’t even focus on that. my eyes close, mouth agape as he fucks me even harder.

“you’re gonna cum for me, aren’t you? fucking cum all over me, baby. cum like a good girl” he growls.

i let out a choked cry, my legs shaking as i cum over his dick, clenching him tight as i ride out my orgasm.

“f-fuck” i whimper.

“i’m cumming- god you’re gonna make me cum, keep clenching me like that” he moans, his chest pressed against mine as he moans and whimpers into my ears.

“oh shit, oh shit oh shut” he whines, one last pound into me as he cums.

“oh-oh my god” i whisper, throwing the vibrator onto the floor as he lays on top of me. i wrap my hands around his neck, body relaxing as he cuddles into me. he pulls out, body laying beside me as he immediately pulls me in for a cuddle.

“that was- fucking amazing” he whispers, catching his breath.

“you were amazing” i whisper back, cuddling into his neck. “you’re perfect.”

“i love you, so so much” he says, kissing my forehead.

“i love you more” i whisper, sighing.

“we need to change these bed sheets. you fucking squirted everywhere.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧

i hope this was okay omg :3 i went a lil feral. love u guys!!!!

#slytherin #fanfiction #harry potter #mattheo riddle fanfiction #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys

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pucksandpower · 7 months

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Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don��t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

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juniperdugong · 2 months

Text

Relationship Quirks 95s ver.

Aka habits I can see the boys doing in a relationship || 95s || 96s || 97s || Maknae line ||

Scoups Calls you his "wife" while you guys are still dating

NOT AROUND YOU... at first but I doubt that the guys wouldn't secretly take video of him whining during practice talking about, "I miss my wife..." all pouty and everything (he saw you this morning), and NOT send it to you.

He's awkward when you bring it up because he doesn't know if you feel that way about the future of your relationship but once he knows you do feel the same way WHEW you do not hear the end of it.

Suddenly, all the reservations he makes are preceded by "Well, me and my wife...", anytime you're brought up in a conversation dude glitches out and HAS to mention you as his wife at least once (especially if it's to someone he thinks might be interested in you), and the yearning only gets worse! He'll leave for tour and after he texts his customary airplane goodbye message to you your phone will be blowing up with texts from the boys complaining about having to hear their leader practically sobbing about how much he misses his wife.

Jeonghan Steals your stuff

Has big "What's yours is mine" mentality, but don't worry! What's his is yours too! He swears it! Despite the drastic difference in how much he's using, borrowing, or straight up taking your stuff...

Let's be clear though, he never takes things he thinks you'll miss and if he finishes something of yours he always makes sure to replace it pronto. If you do get upset he makes a mental note to not mess with that particular item ever again.

Have you noticed a suspicious amount of your clothing (mainly hoodies, hats, and bags) go missing and suddenly see your boyfriend wearing them during a live? Yes. Has there been multiple arguments about this behavior? For sure! Does it absolutely warm your heart when you're at a concert and see a staff member run on stage to hand Hannie his current comfort item (a childhood toy of yours that you didn't even know was missing from your room)? Absolutely, it does. (Apologizes profusely once you find out...doesn't mean a single word of it and you know it because he's giggling the whole time)

Joshua Buys 2 of everything

Since the dawn of your relationship, Shua has gotten 2 of every item he buys. His initial reason was to get to know one another better by trying out things the other liked. This then spiraled to him doubling every single grocery item, clothes he buys, and pretty much anything he orders. Could be an insanely valuable item worth thousands that he's getting paid to promote but if there isn't a matching one for you then it's off the table. And no, he doesn't necessarily want to be "matching" all the time but he likes knowing that you guys could match whenever you wanted to.

He also gets extremely offended if you question why there's so much of everything, seriously he doesn't even want to hear it, like "Because it's ours! And we share! So we need double! Do you hate me or something!?"

"Babe, why do we have so much shampoo..." "I'm promoting it." "There's 2 of every type in here." "Yep." "We don't ne-" "We do need it." "It's too much." "I don't understand what you're saying to me right now."

A/N: The brainrot I have for these men is so real rnnnnn. I just had to separate these by years bc it was getting too long :( I'll have 96s up by today too, so stay tuned for that 96 line OUT NOW!! (Have to do it for my babe Nonu) Reblogs and Comments are much-appreciated lovelies!!

TAGLIST (open): @bemybabiibish

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love-belle · 1 year

Text

mi corazón mi alma mi amor !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which their relationship is finally in the light.

for when you find your soulmate. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // carlos sainz x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - pretty big carlos fic coming soon!! i hope u like it, thank you for reading, i love you <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carlossainz55, carmenmmundt and 799,415 others

yourusername usually i don't like men but this one is ok

7,628 comments

username MOTHER?????

username NAHHH NOT MY WIFE TRYING TO SOFT LAUNCH A MAN

username the way i gasped and fell to the floor

username i NEED to see nando react to this like NOW

lewishamilton i thought you liked me??

-> charles_leclerc yeah y/n what is this.

-> pierregasly i'm heartbroken

-> maxverstappen1 truly disappointed

-> landonorris i see how it is :///

-> danielricciardo and here i was, thinking i was your favourite

-> yourusername i find u all equally annoying

username ATE SO HARD

username idc about him but can he fight????

username the way im in shambled rn

fernandoalo_official llamame ahora mismo ( call me right now )

-> yourusername mi teléfono está roto lo siento papá ( my phone is broken sorry papa )

username no bc if i was that dude i would be SHAKING like nando is so protective when it comes to y/n

username i would do ANYTHING to be a speck of dust near y/n and nando whenever they talk about this 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

username we can talk it out babe just come home ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

carmenmmundt missing you sweetheart 🫶🏼

-> yourusername u NEED to come and see me rn ❤️‍🩹

username it's one of the drivers i SWEAR

-> username nah bc nando would actually go crazy like

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, charles_leclerc and 812,425 others

carlossainz55 dias de verano y amor ( summer days and love )

7,927 comments

username HELP THE SECOND PICTURE????

username hahahahahaha im SO normAl aboUt thIs sO normal

username god i am not your strongest soldier

username my parasocial relationship 💔💔💔

charles_leclerc hope you're both having fun!!

*liked by carlossainz55*

username not to alarm anyone but that looks suspiciously like y/n alonso

-> username who

-> username y/n alonso????? founder of aesthete the brand????? fernando alonso's daughter????

-> username who asked

-> username damn leave my wife and our parasocial relationship alone y'all

landonorris tell her that her cat hates me

-> carlossainz55 tell her yourself???

-> landonorris can't bc i've been blocked since the day i called her cat "whatever pandora let out of her box"

-> carlossainz55 she says that she hopes that casserole bites you

-> landonorris wow.

-> username ISN'T Y/N'S CAT NAMED CASSEROLE????

-> username CARLOS EXPLAIN YOURSELF

-> username im just gonna ignore this for the sake of my sanity!

username not carlos exposing their relationship in the comments omg 😭😭😭

username somewhere right now a grandpa is pulling out his car to run over carlos

yourusername i like the view

-> carlossainz55 you did huh??

-> yourusername yeah the sea's pretty cool!!

username they're in love my lord

username not a driver snatching my girlfriend like the fuck.

fernandoalo_official carlos call me right now.

-> carlossainz55 uh

-> yourusername this is so funny

-> fernandoalo_official both of you actually, i'm setting up a zoom meeting.

username NOT A ZOOM MEETING TAKING PLACE

username NANDO'S ABOUT TO SQUARE UP WITH CARLOS OMG

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by ihearty/n, f1wags4ever, sainzsaints111 and 56,826 others

paddock.club formula one driver, carlos sainz jr. and y/n alonso, businesswoman, activist, philanthropist and model spark dating rumor after being seen together in monte carlo. these two were seen on alonso's yacht along with a few of their close friends including charles leclerc, pierre gasly, kika gomes and others. this is not the first time rumours flew about the pair as at the starting to this year's season, y/n was seen at the ferrari garage, a change from her usual spot with aston martin. we wonder what fernando alonso, y/n's father and a fellow driver of carlos thinks about this pair. click on the link in our bio to know everything we know about their relationship.

2,278 comments

username OH MY GOD

username no bc they'd be so cute together

username y/n lives to give her dad grey hairs and i love her for that

username im already in love with them hello????

username no bc the way they both talk about each other

-> username "he's like such a nice person that you can't help but feel comfortable around him and he's always making you laugh and making you smile and he can make your day better by just his presence and i love that about him"

-> username "she's like this ray this sunlight that everyone desperately needs, she's everything and im so grateful to know her cause she's truly a blessing"

username THEY'RE SO PRETTY

username alr sainz me and u mcdonald's parking lot. u need to pay for stealing my wife

username i would give ANYTHING to know of nando's reaction to this omg

username quick! everyone act shocked!

username we been knew 🥱🙄

username nando on a mission to kill carlos after seeing this like

username IM CRYING THEY'RE SO PARENTS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username gone died dead deceased six feet under decomposed decaying

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, fernandoalo_official, lilymhe and 897,627 others

yourusername mi corazón mi alma mi amor ( my heart my soul my love )

tagged carlossainz55

8,628 comments

username OH MY GOD

username i mean we knew but OSHAHAJAJAHAKA

username THE CAPTION IM DEAD.

username MY HEART MY SOUL MY LOVE

lewishamilton so glad the secret's out!! so happy for you guys 🤍🤍🤍

-> yourusername we love u lewis 🤍🤍🤍

username RUE WHEN WAS THIS ⁉️⁉️⁉️

username idk who to be more jealous of

charles_leclerc get a room

-> yourusername we ARE in a room and ur on the couch sir please move

-> username not charles being in their room 😭😭😭😭

username i need nando's reaction to this

username no bc the way im scared for carlos like

fernandoalo_official happy for you both ❤️ but tell carlos to remember what we talked about on zoom

-> yourusername im pretty sure u traumatized my bf

-> carlossainz55 i will never be recovering

-> username I CAN'T GET OVER THE FACT THAT NANDO SET UP A ZOOM MEETING FOR HIM AND THESE TWO

username my man really wifed up the only daughter of a fellow driver and then exposed their relationship and i respect that so much

lilymhe he better not be taking you away from me

-> yourusername im always yours gf

-> carlossainz55 oh

-> alex_albon well this is awkward!

username the caption has me on the floor and sobbing and crying my heart out

username HER INTERVIEW YESTERDAY WAS SO CUTE I DIED

-> username OH MY GOD I MISSED THAT WHAT HAPPENED

-> username basically the interviewer asked about her relationship status and instead of confirming or denying anything she just said "im in my happy place with someone who makes me the happiest and that's all i could ever ask for"

-> username STOP OH MY GOD

carlossainz55 el más afortunado de ser amado por ti ( the luckiest to be loved by you )

-> yourusername eres dueño de mi corazón ( you own my heart )

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, fernandoalo_official and 898,728 others

carlossainz55 yes she stole my pancakes but it's okay cause she's REALLY beautiful

tagged yourusername

username the way BOTH of my parasocial relationships are in shambles rn like

username need someone to be my bf rn i swear i'll feed u cookie dough

username MOTHER OH MY GOD

username she's so pretty im

carmenmmundt the most gorgeous person 🤍

-> carlossainz55 i agree

username where can i get a carlos??? asking for a friend :)

username mother is mothering as always

username can u fight.

username SHE'S SO AHHSJSJSJSJKSSK

username just one chance pls 🙏🙏🙏

landonorris gross ❤️

-> carlossainz55 we don't care ❤️

username they're my parents your honour

username i just know that nando regrets introducing these two

username someone a man is having a breakdown over his daughter dating his colleague ⁉️⁉️⁉️

username they're such a GORGEOUS couple like

danielricciardo when u smack the shit out of me for eating your food :///

-> carlossainz55 she's an exception of course

-> yourusername my love ❤️

-> danielricciardo brb need to throw up

username the difference in their captions is WILD

username LITERAL PARENTS

fernandoalo_official one wrong step and she'll be using a brush to sweep you off the ground

-> carlossainz55 noted

-> yourusername papá stop threatening my boyfriend

-> carlossainz55 boyfriend 😏😏😏😏😏🔥🔥🔥🔥😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

-> charles_leclerc what the fuck is he doing?

-> yourusername he does this every time i call him my bf, it'll pass

username carlos is down SO bad and it's SO understandable bc i would be too if y/n was my gf

username pretty gf 🤝 obsessed bf

yourusername i hate u for choosing the second picture

-> carlossainz55 you hate me huh? that's not what you said last night

-> landonorris just gonna leave now fernandoalo_official

-> yourusername NORRIS

-> fernandoalo_official sainz run.

#f1 x female reader #f1 x reader #social media au #fake instagram imagines #f1 imagines #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz x y/n #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz x fem!reader #carlos sainz x female reader #carlos sainz imagines #carlos sainz au

3K notes · View notes

jogetsobsessed · 1 year

Text

Friendship Bracelets - Paul Lahote x Reader

Hearing the engine of the rusty orange truck cut caused you to stir from your place on the couch. Your homework was sprawled all across the living room, the static of the TV crackling as it was in between channels.

You were slightly annoyed that your sister was home cause that meant that her beau was in tow and you'd have to witness the awkward love the two of them shared.

“Bella why don't you just listen to me”, your sister's boyfriend argued. Great, they were having their hourly argument. These happened so often because your sister was one of the most stubborn people you've ever met.

“Edward drop it. I'm doing it and you can't tell me otherwise”, your sister shot back.

“Bella I said no”, he downright yelled.

They crashed into the kitchen and you could see how they were both physically angry and neither wanted to back down from their standpoint of whatever the hell they were talking about.

“You don't get to make my decisions for me”, Bella screamed.

“It's not safe for you to go alone Bella, and I obviously can't go”, Edward yelled.,

By now you were leaning against the doorframe observing the lovers quarrel, holding back laughter. You had to watch them go through this every day, except this time Edward seemed to be holding his ground even more, so it had to be serious. Normally he just gave in to your quarrelsome sister but not this time.

Bella looked around completely baffled that somebody wasn't just giving her the green light to do whatever she wanted to do. As she looked around exasperated she spotted you listening in on the conversation and her eyes sparkled.

“I won't go alone”, she proudly declared.

“Hmm”, Edward hummed in question.

“Y/N’s going with me”, Bella stated.

“Absolutely not, I’m not letting you drag me into this”, you yelled suddenly less amused.

“Bella just dropped it”, Edward stated clearly not enthused by Bella’s response.

“Y/N just do this for me please”, Bella pleaded.

She looked up at you with pleading eyes. Clearly, this was important to her. And no matter how much she pissed you off, you enjoy pissing Edward off even more.

“Yeah Eddy boy I guess I’m going with good ole Bells to…where the hell are we going Bella?”, you asked.

“La Push”

---------------------

The truck rattled down the gravel driveway as your sister drove you to the undisclosed location that apparently meant so much to her.

Pulling to a stop in front of a wooden cabin in the middle of the woods you couldn't help but admire its beauty. Though the house itself was worn down in front of it barrels full of flowers and homemade raised flower beds were littered around.

“Stay in the car”, your sister nonchalantly said.

“Umm no”, you argued back.

“I shouldn't be long, half an hour tops' ', was all she had to say.

“Bella, I'm not letting you leave me here for thirty minutes. I’m helping you out by coming with you. I agreed to go with you with whatever you were doing, not to stay in the car”, you retorted.

“Fine, just be careful and try to be quiet”, she sighed.

“Whatever weirdo”, you answered.

As the doors of the truck slammed shut and both of you hopped out the front door to the cabin two tanned-skinned boys came barreling out, both wanting to be the first to talk to Bella.

“Bella is that you”, one of the boys called out.

“Dude you know it's her don't be weird”, the other replied, shoving his friend nearly to the ground.

Bella just laughed and nodded for you to follow her, the both of you stopping right in front of the two shirtless boys.

“Who's the girl Bella?”, boy number one asked as he eyed you up and down, clearly suspicious.

“This is my younger sister, I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned her a few times, or at least Jacob has”, Bella answered.

“Umm I’m Y/N”, you said shyly, granting them a small wave. As much as you didn't want to be you were intimidated by the two boys, something about their presence, maybe it was the way they were standing was almost animalistic.

“Jared," the boy said.

“Quil”, the other spoke.

“Great, now that introductions are done, can we go in? I came to talk to Jacob and he said to meet him here”, Bella asked.

“Yeah, everyone’s inside we were just heading out to go run the perimeter…hey!”, Jared was cut off by a smack from Quil who looked at him as if he had three heads.

The strange cadence to their voices through you off and how quick Quill was to cut Jared off downright made you nervous, but you weren't going to say anything. You didn't want to be rude.

Bella mumbled for you to follow her, which you did. Trudging up the old wooden steps you glanced around your sister's body to glance through the small glass window next to the front door.

Inside around a large circular wooden table sat more tanned skin boys, all with their shirts off. They were laughing and shoving each other while eating what looked like pumpkin bread. You were able to recognize Jacob, even though he looked different from the last time you saw him. You could also see a girl, she had a large scar that covered a portion of her face and she was standing in the kitchen mixing a bowl of batter.

Without hesitation, Bella rapped her knuckles against the wooden door, clearly impatient that it didn't open within the first five seconds.

Still looking through the window you could see all the faces turn to look towards your direction. As quickly as you could you moved to hide behind your sister, embarrassed that you had been spotted.

“Bella it's good to see you”, the girl with the bowl of batter said as she opened the door, one of the shirtless boys protective watching from over her shoulder.

“You too Emily, Sam”, Bella added nodding to the guy standing behind the girl, who you now knew as Emily.

“And this must be your little sister, Y/N right”, Emily asked, her eyes shining bright.

“Yeah”, you breathed out still on edge.

“Well, it's nice to finally meet you Y/N. You, ladies, need to come inside, it's freezing out there”, Emily ushered, opening the door wider and pushing Sam out of the way. He gave you a half smile and a nod as if he could sense that you were nervous.

Bella barged in like she owned the place and went straight towards the table of boys, all of them amused at her presence not bothering to really give you a good look.

“Jacob”, she barked.

Jacob looked up from where he was sitting to roll his eyes at Bella's neediness. After they had a mini staring contest he looked beyond so he could see you. Sending you a cheesy grin he shot up and out of his seat. Rushing over to you and scooping you into his arms, spinning you around,

“Little Y/N. You’re all grown up”, he said laughing. After holding onto you for a few more seconds he let your feet return to the earth again before keeping you an arm's length away so he could get a good look at you.

Your back faced the dining room table and Jacob smiled as he saw truly how much you had grown up.

“It's been six or seven years. How long have you been back?”, he asked.

“Like three weeks. Been trying to get acclimated back to Forks after all these years”, you told him.

“Well, I’m glad you're back now, even though I am a little annoyed that Bella and Charlie have been keeping you all to themselves for these past few weeks. And before I go off to see whatever the hell it is your sister wants to drag me into, I'll introduce you to these idiots right here”, Jacob told you.

You turned around so you were facing the table. You could see a couple of the boys were now looking at you and the rest were semi-focused on the pumpkin bread they were eating.

“This here is Embry, Seth, Brady, and Collin. And you’ve already met Sam and Emily. And I assume Jared and Quil introduced themselves on their way out. All you are missing is Leah who is not here right now and Paul who should be here in a little bit”

You said hi to everyone and accepted the seat that Jacob offered you and a slice of pumpkin bread from Emily. After being assured by your sister and Jacob that they would be right back, you agreed to wait and hang out with your new friends, or people you hoped were going to be your new friends.

------------------

You had no idea how much time had passed since your sister and Jacob had been gone but you didn't really care.

This was the most amount of fun you had experienced in months. The boys had convinced you to play a card game with them once a girl, whom you were introduced to as Leah, came over. They had even got Sam to play with you guys and it was a total blast. Cards were flying everywhere every time one of the boys lost a hand. Emily had been watching from the kitchen giggling every time an insult was thrown at her fiance.

“God dammit. This game is so freaking stupid”, Embry exclaimed after he was the very apparent loser of the last round. As he slammed his cards against the table and everyone laughed at his tantrum the front door was pushed open and three more people entered laughing at their own conversation.

Looking to see what was going on you smiled at your sister and Jacob noticing that they had the third with them. You were pleased to see that Bella looked less agitated than she had before they left and Jacob looked intact.

“Oh hey Y/n that's Paul”, Seth said, nodding to the third person with your sister and Jacob after they started to make their way toward the dining room table. Turning your head to face the illusive Paul you were startled.

He stood there next to Jacob and when the two of you locked eyes you saw every ounce of oxygen leave his body all at once. He looked shocked and extremely pleased and scared all at once.

It was overwhelming and you had no idea what was happening. But you were smart enough to know that it was something.

Nobody said anything in the passing moments and there was so much tension in the room it began to get too hard to breathe. You looked between Paul, Jacob, and your sister, too afraid to speak. Your eyes begging them for an explanation. Jared opened his mouth as if he was going to say something but a hand clamped down on his shoulder shut him up before anything happened.

“Everyone out…NOW”, Sam growled. As lightning came and went, almost everyone was out of the house. All that was left was yourself, Sam, Paul, your sister, and Jacob. Emily didn't leave the house but she did excuse herself upstairs to go busy with something other than baking. “Paul”, Sam was the one to speak again.

You were still perched on the dining room chair, your hands holding your knees that were curled against you.

You watch as Sam gives the three left still standing a look causing Jacob to pull Bella towards the barstools that rested under the kitchen counter, and surprisingly she didn't put up a fight like she normally does.

That left Paul, having not moved an inch since whatever it was that happened between the two of you.

Sam moved towards Paul and he moved his hand onto Paul's shoulder giving him a nod and a slight push in your direction. Jacob then whispered something to Bella, which caused her to stand up from her barstool and throw her hands up, her mouth opening to have a freakout. But Jacob harshly shrugged her down and clamped a hand over her mouth so nothing could come out. You almost lost it over her defeated look, but you refrained since the situation seemed grave.

“Paul, would you rather do this alone?”Sam broke the silence.

“Umm yeah, why don't we head out back. I’m gonna send everyone in. But we’re gonna stay close just in case, um you know”, Paul stammered.

Paul moved towards the back door but backtracked so he was standing to the side of you. He held out his hand towards you. Every ounce of you was screaming internally telling you to not take it and run. But there was a small part of you, a point zero, zero one percent of you told you to trust him. And even though that percentage was so small the idea was echoed throughout.

So slowly you reached out, accepting his invitation and letting him softly pull you out of the chair. You could tell that once your hand was in his he relaxed. He found enough confidence to even twirl a bracelet you wore on your wrist so that he could get a better look at it.

Weaving through Emily’s house you looked over your shoulder and saw Jacob's mouth that you were going to be okay, and Bella was fuming but that was usual for her so you didn't think twice.

Paul opened up the back door for you letting you out first, but not letting go of your hand. The group that had once occupied the kitchen table was now kicking a soccer ball around and chatting. But the conversation stopped once Paul's steps squeaked the wooden floorboards of the porch.

Smirks were placed on their faces but were immediately wiped off once Paul literally growled at them, which sent shivers down your spine.

The soccer ball was quickly abandoned and they all rushed by and back into Emily’s house, but not before they could send a few teasing remarks toward Paul, which caused him to huff and puff a bit. But he quickly got over it once he looked towards you.

He pulled you towards a set of lawn furniture that looked like it had seen better days that rested on the wrap-around porch.

Once you sat down on the couch you once again pulled your legs against your chest. It was a mental way of creating a boundary between you and Paul that you weren't even doing consciously.

Once he was next to you his hands found yours yet again. You were somewhat calmed by the sudden warmth that he gave off.

“Y/I need to tell you something”, Paul finally said.

“Yeah I figured as such”, you said slightly laughing trying to bring humor in to break up the tension. Paul met your laughter as he twisted your bracelet around some more.

“So obviously something happened”, he drawled.

“Yeah”

“Do you want me to be blunt or sugarcoat it”, he asked.

“Be blunt”, you answered.

“OK well umm. There's no easy way to put this but you see well. My tribe, the Quileutes, we’re special. Some of us have a special gene that makes us different”

“You’re sugarcoating it”, you interrupted.

“I'm sorry, fine. The gene makes us shifters. We shift into wolves. I’m a werewolf”

“Be so for real right now”, you answered, absolutely breaking out into laughter. With your comment, you could hear a collection of howling laughter coming from in the house. Paul looked absolutely bewildered but regained his composure, a smirk of disbelief formed on his face as he shook his head.

“That's why I wanted to tell you the full story. I think it would have been a little more believable, then hey I’m a werewolf. But you’re the impatient one”, Paul said, raising his eyebrows.

“Ok, so wolf boy. How do I come into this mix?”, you questioned.

“That's the even more complicated part”

“Spill”

“Shifters have something called imprints. You’re mine”, he gulped at the last part as he looked at you for approval.

You wouldn't believe what you were hearing. This was insane. Not believing him at all and believing him fully at the same time.

You couldn't deny the connection that you felt with him, but werewolves don't exist. Or at least you didn't think that they did.

“Imprints are like soulmates. But they don't have to be romantic. It could just be me being your protector or a friend. Or something more. It's your ultimate choice in the matter”. Paul had a firm grip on your hand now like he needed to be touching some part of you at the moment. '`Do you have anything to say?”, he asked.

Inhaling as much air as your lungs could take in and letting it all out slowly you shifted yet again this time so you were fully in front of him. You wanted more time to think over everything that had just been thrown at you but part of you was terrified. If you asked for more time to think you would get in your head or worse let Bella get in your head. Since you were pretty positive that she knew everything that was going on based on her reactions earlier.

“Would a human imprint, would they feel the connection too?”

“Yeah. Umm not completely like a wolf but they do. You’ll feel drawn to me. Any emotions surrounding me will feel heightened. You can feel the connection”, Paul answered.

“Cool”, was all that you could manage to get out. This reaction made Paul heartily laugh and it made your heart warm to see him light up.

---------------

“So what's the deal with you and Bella? We met her about a year ago and she just mentioned that she had a sister and that was it. Why did you just now come out of the woodwork?”Paul asked. You were now leaning against his chest, snuggled into it appreciating the warmth he provided against the freezing winds that whipped through the forest Emily's house sat in.

“Well, I lived with my mom and stepdad for pretty much most of my life. My dad and mom got together pretty soon after Renee and he got divorced. That's why I'm only two years younger than Bella. A few months ago my stepdad found out he was sick and my mom wanted to move across the country so he could be treated at Boston Medical Center since they have a trial program he’s eligible for. Which I was all for because I love my step-dad and want him to get treated but it would have been too hard for me to go with him. So my mom called Charlie and asked if I could move back here”

“Damn I'm so sorry Y/N”, Paul softy said as he pulled you closer to him.

“It's fine. My mom sends me daily updates on him and I’m glad to be back here with Charlie. And really it's probably a good thing that Bella and I are around each other more. Really our entire lives the only time we’ve gotten to know each other is over the phone”, you assured him.

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as Paul hummed no melody in particular and continued to wrap your bracelet in circles slowly around your wrist. You watched as it turned left and right and Paul's eyes concentrated on it.

“I can make you one”, you said looking up to meet his eyes and giving him a sweet smile. He looked shocked for a second, almost embarrassed that you had caught him playing with it.

“I don't wanna have to make you do anything for me”, Paul stuttered, but he still did not drop your left wrist.

“Paul it would be no big deal. It's easy. I even have the colors left over. We could match”, You wiggled your eyebrows at the last point attempting to calm him down. Which worked. He laughed at your weirdness and pulled you tight to him again.

“The packs gonna give me such crap for wearing a pink and orange bracelet”, he whined pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Such it up Lahote, You're getting a matching friendship bracelet”

-----------

1st post on tumblr, kinda nervous to see how this is going to do lol.

#twilight #paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #x reader #fem reader #fanfic #sam uley #edward cullen #seth clearwater #imprint #friendship bracelets #twilight x reader

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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 1 year

Note

Your back! Hi! :D Ok, the guys adore and are protective of their female human best friend (fem reader). She shares a strong bond with them, and they with her. So, if she ever gets injured or sick, the guys are protective for a while. She is ready to help them again (as much as she can with being a human and all) but what she doesn't realize is that this time it's close to their spring season, making them very protective, territorial, and aggressive to outsiders. How would this play out as they are close to their primal time of the year, and she wants to go with them as they're about to leave on patrol, but they won't let her? Fluffy ending. 🥺(maybe some turtle noises and behaviors too)

Protective TMNT headcanons—reader wants to come on patrol

Bayverse, 2003, or 2012 if it suits ya. 🤷‍♀️. SFW! Mentions of "spring season" for the boys but nothing s*xual. hope u like it @pokemew119 !

Leonardo:

• Like Leonardo, we'll be straight to the point with this one—he's not going to want you going out with them. Normally, he doesn't want you to. Now he really doesn't want you to

• Due to their biology, springtime can be pretty dreadful for the bunch (for Splinter, too, he's the one having to manage them). Aggression, sensitivity, protectiveness, fussing over their rooms, etc. So you asking Leo to go out on their nightly patrol with them was a "this really isn't a good time" moment for him

• "The Lair is warm and safe, why would you want to come out here, anyways? Leave the fighting to me. That's what I'm here for, that's my job."

• Can be a little bit of an ass about it ngl, because he just wants to know you're home with someone he actually trusts to protect you, their father

• You heard Leo bark your name as you started up the ladder out of the sewers. Blue eyes giving you a suspicious look. You were trying to sneak topside so you'd be out there before he was able to protest. "No, no, go ask Master Splinter to show you some stuff if you want something to do so badly."

• Pats you along back to the Lair, watching to make sure you actually go back inside

• If you DO end up out there with them, he's going to be stressing a little more than usual about the setup because it throws him off having someone he feels he needs to constantly look out for, unlike his brothers who are more or less self-sufficient. But you bet you're always going to be his first priority, no hesitation

Michelangelo:

• For once, the heightened senses of springtime had Mikey thinking slightly more rationally than usual

• "Babycakes, you sure you want to come? It's ugly out there, smells bad, full of dudes always asking for a beat-down, maybe you should stay." Ruffles your hair for reassurance. "We can play games when I get back!"

• Secretly tries to dissuade you from even wanting to go out with them in the first place with promises of fun back at home

• If you do go anyways, he's taking every chance to show off his nunchaku skills

• Gets annoyed at his siblings for taking your attention away from him (oop there's the possessiveness)

• Very touchy, constantly hanging off of you or trying to play-fight, sit close to you on the sofa, scoot his chair towards you at dinner, etc.

• You ask if you can go with them on their way out and you catch Mikey

• He smiles big and sheepishly shakes his head, "Sorry, y/n, not tonight! You're kickin' back in my beanbag tonight and hanging out, not running around New York." End of conversation. You try to say something, he interrupts you, thumping your shoulder. "I'll text you! See ya, angel!"

• More passive about his protectiveness and isn't so outright about it like Leo, but on the inside, still doesn't fully understand why he feels that way (even though Donnie has explained over and over again)

Donatello:

• "You want to come out with us? Not gonna work, y/n, this is real stuff," he said amicably, raising his brow ridges. "There's been a three-point-four percent increase in crime rate just around the next four blocks, and that's with us kicking tail every other night. Statistically, you're liable to become a target and..."

• Donnie gets real irritable in spring and tends to avoid his brothers, argues with Leo about about their rooming situation bc he wants to be alone (except for with you)

• Sets up an entire cozy corner in his lab for you to chill in while he's gone and hopes you'll use it, even though he'd definitely rather be home and not topside at this time

• When you ask him to tag along on their patrol, he starts spouting off all the reasons you shouldn't and ultimately wins that debate

• Compromises by letting you man his tracking/observation station and communicating with them on their missions from the sewers

• He actually loves knowing you're on tap while he's out in the city and he can just radio in whenever he feels like it

• "See, isn't being our control center way better?"

Raphael:

• Raph already has a huge attitude problem, make that tenfold in spring.

• Gets waaaaay too overprotective at times, verges on bothersome levels of spazzing over what you do and where you go

• "You wanna go on patrol? With us? Just, out in New York City? With the Foot? Ahah, ain't happening, y/n. 'You said 'maybe' last time?' Well, I'm sayin' no, this time. You'll be bored?" He shrugs. "Watch TV or something. But you're not comin'."

• If you do somehow manage to go (highly unlikely), he's going to be grumpy and complain the whole time because he's secretly just worried and his hormones are out of whack

• Gets overly aggressive defending you from anything and probably stirs up more conflict over it tbh

• "It ended up fine that time, but don't do that again, ya hear?" He doesn't want to seem like he cares too much, so he flicks your head. (That man is head over heels for you)

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ladykailitha · 8 months

Text

The Harrington Pattern Part 3

Hello! I'm going to be posting this one straight through on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays until it's done. I've got three more chapters completed after this one. Though there maybe a small hiccup as I might finally be moving cross country. I will keep you posted.

Here we have Steve finishing up the last of the comments and he gets one visitor too many.

Part 1 Part 2

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

Steve was sitting at the table with Mike. He had shown him how to make the tassels and handed him the leather strips to just let him go to town.

He was putting in the metal rings in the armholes of Mike’s tunic for the tassels to be tied to.

After awhile Mike looked up from his work. “What made you get into sewing?”

Steve looked up at him and just stared at him a moment. “I about to say the most rich boy sentence in existence and if you laugh at me, I won’t finish your tunic.”

Mike raised an eyebrow and then scoffed. “Whatever, man. You don’t have to tell me.”

"I got fascinated by it,” Steve explained, “when my mom took me to a tailor to get a suit made for me for my first piano recital when I was eight."

Mike’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

“It was so interesting, dude,” Steve insisted. “I was more interested in it then the piano lessons.”

“Wait,” Mike said, “you play piano?” He screwed up his face confusion. “I didn’t know that.”

He shrugged. “I mean, I quit when I got to high school because it was at the same time as basketball and my dad wanted me focus on sports.”

Mike waved his hand at the tunic in Steve’s hand. “Piano wasn’t good enough for your dad, but sewing was?”

Steve barked out a bitter laugh. “There is no way in hell my parents know about this, dude.”

Mike reared back and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I sew by hand,” Steve explained, “because there is no way in hell my mom would let me use her sewing machine.”

Mike’s frown deepened. “You did all this in secret? What the hell?”

“What would your dad say if you took up sewing?” Steve muttered darkly.

Mike blushed and ducked his head. “Probably that it was girly.”

“And yet the tailor I went to was a man,” Steve pointed out. “So how does sewing make you girly but most tailors are men make sense?” Mike just shrugged because it didn’t. “Also while we on that bullshit, why is a tailor seen as an honorable profession when a seamstress has the connotation of being associated with sex? Like what the fuck?”

Mike’s ears burned as he deeply regretted bringing it up.

“Just finish those tassels, man,” Steve huffed going back to his own work.

Mike did as he was told and bent back over his tassels.

All week long people were coming in and out of Steve’s house so often that Steve was startled by the knock at the door.

He was annoyed. He was literally an inch away from finishing Will’s extension and the interruption was decidedly unwelcome.

To say he was surprised when Officer Callahan was standing there looking as much if not more annoyed than he was would be an understatement.

“Uh...” Steve muttered. “How can I help you, Officer?”

“Hey, Harrington,” Callahan said with a heavy sigh, “it seems your neighbors are complaining that you’ve been having people coming and going all hours of the day and night. They think it’s been pretty suspicious.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow and Callahan huffed out a laugh.

Steve did some heavy thinking to make sure he didn’t have weed out before he said, “Nothing shading going on, I promise, Officer. Just being making costumes for the Ren Fair coming up this weekend and all my friends keep stopping by for last minute fittings.”

Both of Callahan’s eyebrows went up. “What now?”

Steve waved him in. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Callahan looked around him, but followed Steve into the house with a half shrug.

Steve brought the police officer into the kitchen where he had been working with the aid of the natural light streaming through the big windows. On the table there was Will’s tunic with its inch of ribbon to go. There were bobbins of thread, spools of ribbon, and swaths of fabric literally covering almost every inch of the table.

“I’m just putting on the finishing touches on Will Byers’s costume,” Steve explained. “You remember Will, don’t you?” His smile was just this side of innocent.

Callahan coughed. Because of course he did. Everyone knew who Will Byers was.

“Right,” he said scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I’ll be sure to pass that along. But maybe tell your friends to come during the day?”

Steve smiled brightly. “Oh of course, Officer. This is the last one I’m working on, though. And Will will be stopping by this evening.”

“You sure this is the last one?” Callahan asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

“Oh yes!” Steve said. “The first day of the Fair is on Thursday and we’re going all three days.”

Callahan nodded. “I’ll leave you be then.”

Steve showed him to the front door. Callahan stopped.

“Is this Fair thing any fun?” he asked nervously.

“I’d like to think so,” Steve said with a half shrug. “It’s like the State Fair, so it can get hot and dusty, but there are jousting and sword fights, little plays at night. Things like that.”

Callahan chewed on the bottom of his lip before he nodded curtly. “See ya, later, Harrington.”

“Bye, Officer!”

He slammed the door and went back to finishing the tunic.

Once he was done, he held it up to the light. You couldn’t even tell where the extra inches were. It looked seamless.

He yawned and stretched, feeling please with himself. He looked at his watch. He still had plenty of time before Mrs. Byers brought Will over for the final fitting.

So Steve wandered over to the sofa and laid down. He figured he could a few winks before then and let himself drift off to sleep.

Steve was woken by the sound of someone pounding on the door. He looked out the window, but it was still light out. He sat up and looked at his watch again to see that only an hour had passed.

He got up and before he could even reach the hallway whoever it was started knocking again.

“Hold your horses, man!” Steve yelled.

He threw open the door, annoyed for the second time today. But at least this time it was a far more pleasant a surprise.

“Eddie!” he greeted. “Were we hanging out today?” He didn’t think they had anything on with it being so close to the Ren Fair.

“Nope!” Eddie said with a grin. “A special delivery!”

Steve’s eyes lit up. “Holy shit! They’re ready?”

Eddie pulled out a long thin box and handed it over. Inside were two brown elf ears.

“And they’ll match?”

Eddie tilted his hand back and forth. “As close as we could without the recipient being there.”

Steve hugged him. “Thanks, man. This is going to mean a lot to Lucas.”

Eddie cleared his throat and reluctantly stepped back. “I’ve got band practice, but I wanted to drop these off so Lucas can have them before we go to the Ren Fair.”

“I appreciate it,” Steve said, his cheeks dusted pink. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Yep!” Eddie said, skipping backwards and almost falling off the porch.

Steve jerked forward, but Eddie righted himself before he could fall.

“Bye.” Eddie turned around and practically ran back to his van.

Steve shook his head fondly. He went back inside, but he knew it was useless to try to nap some more. He was wide awake and maybe a little excited, too.

So he went to get make himself some dinner before Joyce and Will arrived.

For the third and final time that night there was a knock on Steve’s front door. At least this time he was ready for it.

He opened the door to reveal Joyce and Will. “Come on in. I just finished it up this afternoon.”

“It’s so sweet of you to do the final alterations,” Joyce said. “It really was a big help to Claudia and me, so we got together and made you brownies as a thank you.”

She shoved the plate in his hands and with her eyes dared him to refuse.

Steve would admit later that he thought about protesting until the smell of warm chocolate hit his nose.

“Oh wow,” he murmured. “They smell delightful.”

Joyce smiled. “Let’s see it then. El has been going on and on about the gold trim on her dress for days and I can’t wait to see Will’s.”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Byers,” Steve said brightly. “Follow me.” He led the way into the kitchen. “Is Nancy and Jonathan going to come to the Fair?”

Joyce and Will shared a glance behind Steve’s back.

“No,” Will said bitterly. “I even told Jonathan that he didn’t have to dress up, but he doesn’t want to go.”

Steve hummed. “Maybe once he sees how much fun you had on Thursday he’ll want to join us for Friday or Saturday.”

Will’s eyes lit up and Joyce smiled fondly at Steve.

“Perhaps,” was all she said.

They reached the kitchen and Will gasped. His tunic was a simple warm brown color but the gold trim just brightened up the whole thing and gave it a rich feel to it.

“Oh Steve, it’s beautiful,” Joyce whispered, giving Steve’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Put it on, Will,” Steve instructed. “It’s going over a shirt and belted so we won’t need to check width, just length.”

Will nodded and pulled it over his head. It fell to the perfect place just over the kneecap so that when Will belted it, it would be above his knee.

“You can’t even tell inches were added,” Joyce said. “Do you like it, Will?”

“Yeah,” he replied with a huge grin. “It’s even better than I imagined. Thanks, Steve!”

He leapt on Steve to give him the biggest hug. Steve staggered back a step but caught the lankly teen and hugged him back just as fiercely.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Joyce playfully swatted her youngest son. “I can’t believe that even with me adding two inches to the hem after we measured still wasn’t enough to counteract your growth spurt!”

Will blushed. “Sorry, mom.”

She just grinned and kissed his cheek.

“Well it looks like we’re all ready to go,” Steve said with a smile. “I can’t wait for Thursday.”

Will smiled back. “Me either!”

****

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @thespaceantwhowrites @paintgonewrong @mogami13 @beelze-the-bubkiss

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #steve is a history nerd

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possiblylando · 25 days

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HTP; Ghoul Lore Audio Log Spoilers/Analysis/Discussion

Dude holy shit uh Spoiler barrier and then all in cause

Okay Okay fuck where to begin this episode literally changes everything okay I guess lets start at the Draught. Based on what we know about this unique Draught, it means Grimal might not be the ghoul?? If the ghoul potentially has this Draught (which I vaguely doubt will come into play in this arc specifically) it could mean anyone could be the ghoul so long as they were only in a place without 1 other person. Atleast I assume so because if they could use this high power Dominate on multiple people simultaneously then this whole operation would be cooked from the start. While I was very mixed on the idea of Gloria as the Ghoul previously, I think its far more possible now. This high level Dominate (Lets assume 4 dots) This ghoul could have access to Rationalize or Forgetful Mind, Or any others in that category. If Grimal is was being commanded to act that could explain why everything is so suspicious around her. Have someone else go in and take care of Occam while the ghoul sits with someone else and has the perfect alibi. So now I think the possibilities for Ghoul are; 1. Grimal is the Ghoul (The Draught is a red herring and simply setting up something in a future arc instead of this current one.) 2. Gloria is the Ghoul & has this Draught; this is based more on Vibes and the fact Gloria doesn't actually do too much in part 1 outside checking Occam's pulse. If she's the ghoul and commanded someone (Namely Grimal) to attack Occam, she would have a vested interested in knowing if the attack was successful. Okay thats about it for my thoughts on the Ghoul right now. Onto the far more important bit of this episode. Because this was not simpyl a Ghoul Lore episode, THIS WAS A MARCKUS LORE EPISODE TROJAN HORSE.

But before the deep Marckus shit- Markus was 12 in 1988. Door was present and seems to be in his 20s or 30s. Boy has not been born yet and Boy is 11 in 2006 so he was born in like 1995. So I think its reasonable to place door as being in his 20s here, having Boy in his 30s. This means Door is probably 8-15? (Maybe) years older than Markus which would make him roughly 40 in modern day. D does look markedly younger in these photographs but I'm not sure if thats art style or actually because he's aged. It does put a damped on my thoughts about D being MUCH older than he seems. But we do know his previous Ex-Wife Rozalia (The Ghoul) is roughly 108 in modern day. It seems to be implied D had met & later married her after she was pretty deep into being a ghoul so there probably was a large age gap already. But it still kinda stands out to me. D is very afraid or Marckus becoming a Ghoul because he sees himself in him. I don't necessarily think D was a ghoul (thought it could explain his weird age). Thought all this might be confirmation Bias as in the more recent episodes D's hair has been more consistently colored with grey streaks when compared to earlier episodes where it was more like a sheen in his hair. It just feels like D has done too much to only be roughly in his 60-70s and very fit. While older people can certainly be in good physical condition it doesnt seem like D has suffered any real negatives from aging? He's MINIMUM 18 years older than Door who is in his 40s but again that's a low ball. I don't know. Alright time for the Marckus stuff. So its rather basic background knowledge that HTP's main cast is inspired by the cast of Warhammer 40k TTS. Now up until this point I had thought it was mostly a baseline thing. Only really carrying over personalities and vague relationships between characters while having the freedom to change them with that background knowledge. But based on this episode it appears to be more relevant.

Whatever the fuck Marckus managed to summon, It was something not even D understood. This is in directly parallel with 40k's Magnus who Marckus is based on. For those who don't know about 40k lore (I don't blame you its VERY long.), Magnus is a Primarch (Emperor's special kids) who ended up being manipulated by 40k's god of trickery and ended up fucking up literally everything because of his lack of thinking things through and the influence of said trickster god. Gods in 40k are manifestations of humanity (and alien's) collective subconscious minds and often take the forms of their most volatile negative aspects. They're entited formed from 'The Warp' which is the source of magic in 40k. Magnus is very naturally tuned to the warp. Almost all the issues in TTS (and 40k) relating to Magnus are because he has a MASSIVE complex. He craves parental affection and affirmation but in TTS every time he thinks hes denied it, some shit goes wrong. When he actually gets that parental affection (Earlier season 2 iirc) he mellows out alot until finding out the only reason the emperor (D's counterpart) brought him back was so that Magnus would act as a pawn and decoy in his 5d chess game to deal with political enemies. Magnus is not happy about this. With all this background information, whats present in this episode slots into place. Marckus seems to have forgotten about the incident yes. The better case is that he blocked out the memory due to trauma. But the worse possibility is that a seed was planted. One that's been festering within him since that time. D may be planning to tell Marckus everything in a few months, But I get the feeling before those months are up, That seed will sprout. In one form or another, Marckus will be given the option to go down the same path of darkness as his predecessor. I don't think Marckus would go for such a path without a push but the one providing that push might be D, even if unintentionally. D is so focused on the forest that he's missing the trees.

#hunter: the parenting #D's sprites were pretty funny cause the heads are like very light shading but the one where he stares forward has really intense shading so #he just randomly gets really grim looking at the most random shit #also I might do a second post theorizing on what Marckus actually summoned but idk if its actual wod lore or original stuff for htp #he wasnt (and still isnt) a mage so I kinda doubt it?

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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 5 months

Text

A part two for Changes was requested by @ali-r3n 💞 In part one the reader changes her style to be more like Chrissy's since Eddie has a crush on her.

She hopes this will make Eddie notice her but he doesn't want her to change herself for him and she's crushed to find out that he's not interested in her like that.

The first part of this fic was written so long ago and my writing style has changed a lot 💞

Now that you're all caught up here's the summary for part two;

After realising that Eddie will never be interested in you, you decide it's time to move on. There's a new guy at school called Jenson, he's a metalhead like Eddie and very much your type...

Angst, jealous Eddie, Eddie wakes up and smells the roses, Mutual pining, fluff. Mdni.

💌💞

After your humiliating experience with Eddie you do your best to avoid him. He didn't even want you when you dressed like Chrissy because she was his dream girl. Not you.

You had to accept that you would never ever be his type. Just his friend. His buddy.

Robin met you after school and she could tell by your face that you're big plan to get Eddie to notice you had gone out of the window. Steve watches you concerned as you wipe the make up of you face and attempt not to cry.

"Steve can we stop off for some ice cream. I think she needs it" Robin gestures to you and Steve nods.

"Ice cream and movie night. Does that sound good honey?" You nod and feel extremely grateful that you have such amazing friends besides Eddie.

You would eat ice cream and mope for a while and then you would finally try and get over Eddie. It was better this way, you couldn't stand the thought of him feeling pity for you because he didn't feel the same.

It would ruin your friendship and you never wanted that to happen.

...

Things are awkward with Eddie. Extremely awkward. You don't know what to say to him and he's being overly nice and just not himself with you.

Fuck, you wish you didn't say anything, didn't go ahead with your stupid plan in the first place.

Then to make matters worse principal Higgins calls you into his office. Grudgingly you make your way there and when you enter the office he's talking to a new student that you had never seen before.

He was tall, wild curls of long blonde hair and big brown eyes, he was wearing a Black Sabbath t shirt and leather jacket. Ripped black jeans and black boots. He's glaring at Higgins.

"I don't need a babysitter dude" the principal ignores this mysterious boy and gestures to you.

"Yn will be your guide around school. Your buddy while you settle in. You've been here for two weeks and you've barely made any effort to include yourself in anything Mr Jenson"

Jenson flips Principal Higgins the bird when he's not looking and you stiffle a giggle. He winks at you and you feel your body heat up, all the way to your toes.

"Fine. Lead the way pretty lady" he gestures to you and opens the door.

Hey maybe school won't be so bad after all?

"You can join me and my friends at lunch. We sit at the our own table, the Hellfire table. We play Dungeons and Dragons" you explain and he nods along as he follows you to the cafeteria.

Quickly you explain to the boys about what the principal asked you to do.

"Jenson is new and he needs some friends, people to show him around and get him settled" Eddie who's immediately suspicious of new students, studies Jenson. His big brown eyes sweeping over him and narrowing.

You do your best to explain who everyone is and point out Chrissy and the cheerleaders, you feel that pang in your chest about Eddie again.

Jenson scoffs and turns to you. "I'm not interested in the cheerleaders. I'm interested in you, beautiful"

Wait what? You nearly choke on your can of soda and meet Jenson's eyes.

"Me?" he nods and leans closer to you, so close you can smell his spicy cologne. "Wait, what was I talking about again?" You're kinda dazed by him if you're being honest.

He smirks then leans back in his seat.

"I think I like this table" his gaze stays on you and you hear Eddie mutter something under his breath.

"This table is only for Hellfire members" Eddie's voice is tight and full of dislike. Jenson pouts and turns to you.

"You'll sit with me this week yeah? Help me get settled and all?" You nod and avoid Eddie's livid gaze.

Things will be okay after all...right?

💞

For the next week you accompany Jenson at his table. Eddie isn't happy about this.

"Eddie he's not a Hellfire member, unless you want to see if he's any good at d&d" you suggest and Eddie shakes his head vehemently.

"I don't want him in Hellfire" he pouts and it's kinda adorable. Fuck, no it's not adorable, you're trying to get over this stupid crush.

"Not even for me? He's kinda dreamy" Eddie stills at this and you look away from his fierce gaze. What's his problem anyway? Feeling brave you point out to him that you finding Jenson dreamy is a good thing.

"Things have been weird between us since...well since the other week. You made your feelings clear and I need to move on. We can still be friends and there will be no awkward tension or anything like that" Eddie looks like he's about to say something else but Jenson shows up and the conversation stalls.

"Hey princess" Okay this time Eddie definitely does stiffen and his eyes flash as they turn to Jenson.

"I call her princess, no one else does dude" Jenson snorts and claps Eddie on the shoulder.

"You can't own a name dude. Anyway she likes it when I call her princess. Don't you honey?" Oh shit. You look between the two of them and feel torn. Eddie was your friend and Jenson well maybe someday when you were over Eddie he could be more than your friend?

"Shouldn't you be chasing that cheerleader you like Munson... leave Princess to me" Jenson winks at Eddie.

Your stomach sinks as Jenson goes to wait for you at a table. How could you forget Eddie mooning over Chrissy? It hardens your resolve.

"It's just a name Eddie. Why do you care so much anyway?" you ask him and he doesn't answer. Sighing you head over to Jenson and the knot in your stomach tightens even more.

💞

Eddie is quieter than normal during today's lunch. Dustin can sense something is wrong with him but Eddie's moods could be unpredictable and he didn't want to cause his hero anymore upset.

He didn't like seeing Eddie like this though, he had a funny feeling it was to do with the blonde metalhead currently taking up all of your attention.

Doesn't Eddie notice the way your gaze still strays to him? Don't you notice the longing way Eddie gazes at you?

Then again did Eddie even realise the way he looked at you? Why were the two of you such pining idiots?

Jason who is passing the Hellfire table nudges Eddie and smirks, "Aww freak, looks like you're not the apple of her eye anymore"

Shit. If looks could kill Jason would be dead. Eddie flips him off and Jason walks away laughing.

"Asshole" he huffs and Mike chuckles. "He's right though Eddie. She definitely has a type though doesn't she?" If possible Eddie's eyes narrow even more yet Mike doesn't notice.

Dude, stop talking Dustin begs but Mike carries on oblivious. "If you didn't spend so long pining over Chrissy then you wouldn't have lost your chance dude. It sucks, I'm sorry" Eddie deflates and whispers quietly.

"Do you really think I don't have a chance anymore?"Mike shrugs and Dustin tries to give him a hopeful smile but it doesn't seem to help Eddie who settles back in his chair with a glum expression on his face.

He watches you and Jenson and sighs. "you're right Wheeler. I wasted my time pining over the wrong girl"

💞💞

Even with Jenson being sweet and obviously interested your stupid traitor heart still aches for Eddie.

Robin who likes everyone has her reservations about Jenson. "I saw him flirting with some other girl yesterday, I think he's messing with a lot of girls hearts"

The thought of Jenson doing this should hurt you but it doesn't. Fuck. This was hopeless. How would you ever get over Eddie if you couldn't open your heart to someone else.

"Munson was in here yesterday. I mentioned that Jenson dude and he kinda ranted a bit" Steve says as he stocks the video tapes on the shelves.

"He's been weird with Jenson since I started hanging out with him"

Robin exchanges a knowing look with Steve and they both say at the same time. "He's jealous"

Hope briefly encompasses you then deflates. Eddie being jealous of Jenson? That was ridiculous. Plus Eddie still liked Chrissy didn't he?

"No he's not" you shake your head adamantly but there's no changing Steve's mind.

"Honey, I'm a guy and I know when a guy is jealous. Munson is jealous of this Jenson guy. He's another metalhead honing in on his girl and Eddie is like a feral raccoon warning him off"

A feral raccoon you stifle a smile at Steve's description of Eddie. Speaking of Eddie he comes into the store with Chrissy. Oh.

Suddenly Steve's thoughts seem completely wild and far fetched. See. You try to communicate with Steve that he's completely wrong.

"I really think you should just ask Eddie" Chrissy replies to Eddie and you wonder what. Was he going to ask Chrissy out? You don't want to stick around for that.

You gather your things at the same time Eddie spots you and freezes. Chrissy smiles at you warmly and you return it even though your heart is threatening to beat out of your chest.

"Dude, did you hear that Jenson was in here wanting to ask princess out" Steve suddenly pipes up, completely out of the blue and Eddie's eyes widen as they meet yours.

Jenson hasn't asked you out. If Steve was trying to make Eddie jealous then it wasn't going to happen, you're kinda tired of hoping for something that wasn't meant to be.

"I'll see you tomorrow, gotta get home and cram for this biology test" you hurry out of the store and tj your car.

Blasting out Black Sabbath helps clear your thoughts and you're relatively more relaxed as you get home.

There's the telltale sign of Eddie's van and you nearly jump out of your skin when it comes careening around the corner.

Eddie parks the van and jumps out. His eyes are wild and he jogs over to you still looking panicked.

"Don't date him" he says breathlessly and you pause unsure if you've heard him right. Did he seriously rush all of the way here to say this and why?

"Excuse me?" What the hell was going on?

"Don't date him. He's not right for you, he's egotistical and smarmy and...and he won't treat you right or love you the way you should be loved" you raise your eyebrow and when you speak your voice comes out all shaky.

"And how should I be loved Eddie?" He softens when he gazes at you and reaches out to caress your cheek.

"Like you're everything. No other girl compares to you and you're the best thing that's ever happened to a guy. Like you're the one and you always have been"

A small part of your anger comes roaring back and you groan exasperated. "Eddie. I practically told you I was in love with you. I have been for years and you basically rejected me and now that someone else shows interest in me you get a clue!"

He shrugs sheepishly and nods, "Robin said I was the world's biggest dingus. I fucked up okay? I know that and I know that it was the shittiest time to realise how I feel but I'm begging you, give me a shot and I'll never break your heart again. I promise you that"

You've always wanted to hear him say these words and you're torn between wanting to kiss him or yell at him some more.

"What about Chrissy?"

"Chrissy was a dumb crush, even if she was interested I don't care. I'm over that. Jenson helped me see what's been in front of me all along... It's you. It's always been you"

Well damn. You're still confused though because didn't he just come to Family Video with Chrissy and she was telling him just to ask someone something.

As if Eddie reads your mind he begins to explain. "I ran into Chrissy when I was heading to Family Video and she mentioned I was unusually quiet and everything about you poured out. She was telling me to just ask you out when we were heading into the store and then I saw you and I choked"

You bite back a smile and move closer to him, the need to kiss him feels a little overwhelming now.

"You really are an idiot Eddie but you're my idiot" you add affectionately and he kisses you. It leaves you momentarily stunned at how amazing it feels but then you're kissing him back.

When the two of you break apart you're both breathless, eyes shining and happiness written all over your faces.

"Shit, uh I was thinking maybe I could take you on a date. Maybe we could go to Lovers Lake and camp out for a little bit. Thought it would be romantic sweetheart"

"It's a date" you press another kiss to his lips and head into his van leaving a dazed and smug Eddie strutting to the van once he realised what you said.

💞

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson

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mintseung · 3 months

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FIRST SIGHT L.H.S — PT2

⑅ pairing: BrothersBest friendLee!heeseung x gn!reader.

⑅ genre: Smut / fluff (MDNI!)

💌: before you read this, make sure you read pt1, so you could understand the story. Please don't hate my grammar, I am not good at it ><

Pt1

"shit baby your so tight" heeseung groaned as he squish your ass, You gripped his bicep with your free hand, scratching down on his skin until the sting started to dissipate.

"I'm cumming!" You scream as you roll your eyes up. His thrust was getting harder and faster, as he hit your gspot with his tip. When both of you heard the front door opened. "Hey I'm home!" Jay shouted as you and Heeseung looked at each other.

You both stood up and put your clothes immediately, "the cum on his bed!" You whisper pointing at the bed. "Shit" he immediately removed the bed sheet and throw it at the laundry basket, "pretend your just gonna do laundry" heeseung mouthed as you nod.

You both pretend to clean so Jay won't get suspicious about why you were both in his room. As Jay entered the room with his luggage, he saw you both cleaning and raised an eyebrow. "I just changed the sheets. Why are you guys cleaning already?" he asked as he put his luggage aside.

"Uh, my bad, bro. I accidentally spilled coffee on your bed and felt bad, so I cleaned it," Heeseung said, looking at Jay. "Can't believe your being nice right now" jay rolled his eyes.

Heeseung scratched the back of his head nervously. "Yeah, I know, but I didn't want to leave a mess for you."

Jay sighed, turning his attention to you. "And you, why are you in my room?"

You shifted uncomfortably, trying to come up with a plausible excuse. "I-I was going to do laundry and thought I'd help out by taking your stained sheets too," you stammered, glancing nervously at Heeseung. "Figured it would save you some trouble." You said Smiling proudly

"Oh, I guess thanks. There's food downstairs. Go eat already," Jay said as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Heeseung came closer to you and said, "I'll continue what we were doing later, honey," as he winked at you while playfully squeezing your boobs. Then he went out of the room to join Jay downstairs.

You were feeling hungry, so you went downstairs and found Heeseung and Jay engrossed in a video game on the TV while Jay's girlfriend sat next to him, scrolling through her phone. You approached them and asked, "Jay hyung, what's for dinner?" Standing in front of them, Jay replied in an annoyed tone, "Move, loser!" as he gently pushed you aside. Heeseung glanced at you and patted the couch beside him, signaling you to sit next to him.

As you sat down, you looked jay first making sure that he was focusing at the game and after at heeseung, you poked his waist. When he finally looked at you, you pouted, and he immediately knew you were hungry. He elbowed Jay's side and said, "Dude, your sister is hungry. Let's stop for now," as he put his controller down on the coffee table.

"One more game, dude," Jay insisted, grabbing Heeseung's controller and pressing it against his stomach.

"Babe, Y/N's hungry. Let's go out and find something to eat, huh? You know your in charge at looking at your little sister just like what Mrs.Park said" Jay's girlfriend said seriously.

"Oh fine, fine, after all I put heeseung in charge to look after her, not me. I'll go change my clothes first. Come with me, love," Jay said as he stood up and headed to his room with his girlfriend. Heeseung looked at you and chuckled.

"What's so funny?" you asked, confused.

"Nothing. You're just so cute when you pout," he replied with a smile. He tucked your hair behind your ear and added, "So pretty," before kissing your fluffy cheek.

You step out of the car, the vibrant sounds and enticing aromas of the Korean market immediately hitting your senses. Colorful stalls line the narrow streets, each one bursting with an array of delicious-looking foods. The air is filled with the rich, savory scents of grilled meats, spicy kimchi, and sweet desserts.

When Jay stepped out of the car, he came beside you. "I'll be going out again later. I need to visit Liwon's parents in her hometown. They just called a little while ago, so it's unexpected," Jay said.

"Oh, okay," you replied. You glanced at Heeseung, who was already smirking mischievously.

As Jay and his girlfriend roamed around the bustling streets in search of something to eat, you and Heeseung wandered off together to buy tteokbokki, your favorite dish, while Heeseung opted for ramen, his personal favorite. The aroma of freshly cooked food filled the air as you both made your way through the market. After securing your meals, you found a small table and sat down, eagerly digging into your food.

While you were enjoying the delicious tteokbokki, a man approached your table with an unsettling smile. "Miss, can I have your number?" he asked, his tone and expression sending a chill down your spine. Before you could respond, Heeseung intervened. "She's not single," he said firmly, his glare intense enough to scare the man away.

"Not single, hm?" you smirked at Heeseung.

"Yeah? Your mine baby, I won't let ugly men take my baby away," he pouted with his Bambi eyes.

"I'm just kidding. You think I'd let you eat my, yeah you know what your just really cute" You laughed as you chewed on your food.

After eating, you all returned to your house. Jay called you downstairs. "What?" you said as you descended the stairs.

"I'm leaving now. You better behave," Jay warned. "Heeseung will be here to watch over your ass because you're a pain in the ass. Who knows, maybe when I get back, the house will be on fire and you and Heeseung will be burnt chickens," he said, crossing his arms as Heeseung chuckled.

"Blah blah blah. Liwon, make sure to shut Jay's mouth whenever he's gonna talk shit," you replied, rolling your eyes at Jay.

"I will. Come on, you little rockstar. It's going to be a long ride," Liwon said as she pulled Jay by the shirt, closing the door behind them.

As the car drove off, Heeseung wrapped his arms around your waist. "Hey princess~ I missed you," he murmured, burying his face into your neck.

"We've been together all day, though. What do you mean?" you asked, turning around and placing your hands on his neck. "Kisses" as he suck your neck leaving purple spots.

A moan left your lips. Heeseung looked at you and said, 'You left me so horny today. I didn't even get a chance to cum, ma' as he kissed your lips.

Heeseung carried you with your legs wrapped around his waist, his strong arms holding you securely. The warmth of his body pressed against yours sent a shiver down your spine. As he walked to your bedroom, his mouth sucked your neck harshly, leaving a trail of dark purple hickeys making you moan.

When you finally reached the bed, he placed you down gently, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made your heart race. He leaned in, his breath warm against your skin as he whispered your name, "let's continue what we're doing this morning shall we mì amor?" He smirks.

He raised your shirt over your breasts. He starts to suck your nipples, and his hands playing with your other nipple while you grip his hair, You felt your sticky panties sticking thru your skin. "I can imagine you having sore Milky nipples" he said while sucking your harden nipples.

His hand reached your waist and slowly removed your shorts, throwing them aside someplace in the room. "Wet for me already, princess?" he smirks as he removes your soaked panties. You tighten your grip on his hair as he begins to bite your inner thighs. His warm breath felt good against your cunt, and he opened your pussy with his fingers before licking your sensitive bud, which caused you to feel hot against your skin.

"W-wait not that, t-thats to sensitive" you bit your bottom lip as he continue to suck your sensitive clitoris. The way he suck it made you moan so loudly, probably the neighbors heard it.

"I'm gonna cum!" You shouted,

"Already? Well hold that for me, we barely even started ma" He looked at you as he entered 2 fingers without any warning making your back arch. "Still so tight even tho we fucked this morning." You feel him smirking in your cunt.

He flip you on your stomach, your ass is towards him in the air, your face pressed into his bed. he start unbuckling his jeans. As he rubs his tip on your entrance, without any warning he thrust his dick inside you so deep not even letting you adjust for his size.

"T-too big" you reach your hand in your back and tries to stop heeseung, but heeseung in the other hand grabbed your hand and pinned them on your back. "Don't stop me, I know you like it when I go deep hm ma?" He teases as he start thrusting slow for a few moments, slowly making it fast, you can feel your wetness was dripping out of your pussy, falling to your pink bed sheets. As heeseung thrusts hard and fast you were moaning like a mess, "rub your pussy for me baby" he orders you, your hands trailed down to reach your pussy and start rubbing messy circles on it.

Heeseung slapped your ass making you cry out but making you more turned on. "So big shit" you screamed while tears rolling down your cheeks. "Fuck You like doggy style huh baby? Huh you want daddy's dick so bad?" He said while pulling your hair gently.

"Baby can I cum already please?" You beg, can't even speak properly as you roll your eyes into your skull. "What's my name hm?" He teases thrusting slower, "daddy!" You screamed. "Good girl, okay go cum" he orders, the headboard rythms fasten with his thrusts. (I think you guys are gonna break your bed any soon now) heeseung turned you around, now your laying down on your back while heeseung put your legs up on his shoulder as he slip his dick inside you again making you both moan.

He lays his hands on your stomach feeling his cock on your stomach, making him smirk as he makes his thrust hard again. His hands gripped your tits as you bite down your bottom lips. He moved closer to your face and start kissing you roughly, the way he tastes makes you so dizzy and wanting more. "So warm baby, I could do this all the time" he says while kissing you.

You felt heeseung's warm semen inside you, he finally pulls out and went down to your pussy seeing your cunt so swollen, wet, and of course full of his cum. He puts 2 fingers inside you to scoop some cum and let you taste your juices and his mixed.

Heeseung got some tissues and wiped your legs clean, "tired baby?" Heeseung says in a worried tone, you nod as you grabbed the blanket beside you and covered you and his body. Heeseung's arm hugs your waist as you buried your face on his neck, smelling the strong clone of his. You we're about to close your eyes when the door barged opened. You and heeseung looked at the door slowly and you saw jay standing they with his arms crossed.

"Well, well, I was just away for a moment, and now you two were fucking?" he said, raising an eyebrow. You felt embarrassed and hid in Heeseung's neck.

"Chill, dude. What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked.

"CHILL?! your literally fucking my sister! And I forgot my fucking wallet," he replied, showing his wallet with a serious face.

Jay sighed. "Make sure you're going to take my sister seriously, or else I'll break your bones and cut off your dick," he warned and closed the door.

"Heard that?" you said, looking at Heeseung.

"Yes, ma'am, I'll take you seriously. I'll be your boyfriend, best friend, or pet—anything you want. I'll always be here for you," he said with a smile, kissing your lips.

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cosmerelists · 5 months

Text

The Other Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse But Make It Cosmere

As requested by @round-hatches-are-terrifying. :)

In the Good Omens novel, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (War, Famine, Pollution, and Death), who are bikers, are followed by four other biker dudes who chose their own names to be, uh, equally ominous:

Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Really Cool People, and Treading In Dogshit (formerly All Foreigners Especially The French, formerly Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping, never actually No Alcohol Lager, briefly Embarrassing Personal Problems, and finally People Covered in Fish)

So let's say we had other Horsemen on various Cosmere planets. What would they be named?

1. Roshar (Stormlight Archive)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, Desolation, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Man-Eating Giant Crabs, Running Out Of Stormlight Right In The Middle of the Weeping, Ill-Conceived Boons, and Reified Gender Norms (formerly Men Reading, formerly Predicting the Future But Not Like Storm Wardens Do Because That's Just Math Basically, briefly just Predicting the Future)

2. Scadrial (Era 1) (Mistborn)

The Main Horsemen: Famine, Pestilence, Ash, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Child Abuse, Dangerous Piercings, Trying to Keep Literally Anything Clean, and Getting Hit in The Head With A Coin Like Every Night Because of Those Blasted Mistborn Flying About Everywhere

3. Scadrial (Era 2) (Mistborn)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Social Unrest, Rich Bastards, ACAB, and Getting Hit in The Head With A Coin Like Every Night Because of Those Blasted Coinshots Flying About Everywhere

4. Nalthis (Warbreaker)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, Death, and Second Death

The Other Horsemen: Undead Squirrel Attacks, Being Out of Breath, The Haunting Realization that the Gods Who Live Among Us Are Actually Pretty Daft, and All Foreigners But Especially the Idrians

5. Threnody (Shadows for Silence)

The Main Horsemen: Fire, Blood, Running, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Fortfolk-Acting-Too-Big-For-Their-Britches, Withering-That-Does-Not-Kill-You-But-Does-Make-Life-Just-That-Much-Harder-Forever, Ghost-Grandmother, and Adonalsium-May-Remember-Our-Plight-Eventually-But-For-Now-It-Is-Pretty-Bleak-Out-Here-Guys

6. Komashi (Yumi and the Nightmare Painter)

The Main Horsemen: Nightmares, Famine, Pestilence, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Artist's Block, Being Straight on a Planet Where Even the Lighting is Bisexual, AI Art, and A Stiff Breeze Coming At Exactly The Wrong Time Noooo My Rock Stacks

7. First of the Sun (Sixth of Dusk)

The Main Horsemen: Bad Death, Worst Death, Quick Death, and Slow Death

The Other Horsemen: Mainlanders, Mainlander Capitalism, Kids These Days, and Suspicious Invaders (?) From Outer Space

8. Sel (Elantris)

The Main Horsemen: War, Famine, the Shaod, and Death

The Other Horsemen: Aggressive Proselytizers, Stubbing your Toe, People Who Do Not Accept The Word of Shu-Dereth And So Seal For Themselves Their Own Inevitable Doom, and I'm With The First Guy Who Said Proselytizers (formerly People Covered in Slime)

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Stormlight Archive #Mistborn #Warbreaker #Elantris #Yumi and the Nightmare Painter #Sixth of Dusk #Shadows for Silence

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lovingksuki · 11 months

Text

✰ SECRET ADMIRER

— highschoolers bakugo x fem!reader

synopsis: an anonymous love letter appears in your locker on valentine's day. surprised, you and your best friend start an investigation to uncover who was that person observing you from afar. meanwhile, a flushed bakugo tries to ruin your plans on the undercover alongside his shitty-haired buddy

cw: sfw; mostly fluff; lil angst; very insecure bakugo; romantic comedy; puberty; silly jokes; little swearing.

a/n: this is part one of three. let me know if you want this mini series to be continued :) and pls be patient since english is not my first language hehe ;;

word count: 1k

"oh c'mon! what if there's a heart shaped letter in your locker? you never know..."

"there's not."

"you can't be so certain about it. my girl is never looking her surroundings, who knows if someone got their heart pierced by an arrow?" mina pointed.

"shut up, every year the same thing..." you rushed and right after turning the corridor you captured by distance. "ok. maybe you were right." you said finding the metal compartment half closed.

then you grabbed the red paper in her hands, paying attention to the almost dry daisy taped lazily on the front; glanced around not spotting anything or anyone suspicious about it, then turned to your best friend.

"i got a feeling you're part of this." spurred.

"whoa, i was joking just now! even i am chocked. who's the sender?" the pink colored girl held her hands up in protest.

"i don't know, there's only my name." you stated carefully sticking the little flower out.

"let me search for a hint." mina took the letter from your hands suddenly, mumbling while quickly skimming through the words looking for something useful. she gasped before smirking at the content and then continued mumbling.

"enjoying yourself!?" you sighed waiting.

"mkay, done." handed the letter. "nothing between the lines. who wrote this sure is smart enough to not leak their identity."

"that's for me to decide. you ain't the smartest kind." you chuckled.

"hey!"

"more like the pretty girl type."

"you sly thing! you received a love letter, who's the pretty girl again?" both laughed at the statement and headed out to the cafeteria. "not reading it?"

"can't think when i am this hungry. we should hurry."

at the lunchtime the subject was the same. you two were discussing with your mouths full, sitting by yourselves on a table far enough from eavesdropping.

"hear me out. there's this line that seems to be rewritten over and over, it's a bit tattered." you mentioned. "it says: 'i'm still hesitant about what you think about me' and thanks to the pressure they put on paper seems to be 'afraid of who i am' underneath."

"adds a lot of nothing to our investigation. that's what everybody would say in a confession, i mean, nobody likes being dumped." pinky pointed out unfazed.

"yeah but, i don't think it's meaningless, what if this person is truly insecure about themselves." you pondered.

"or they're just ugly." mina chewed on her meal.

"i don't think that's the case... remember when you told me that thing you read about pretty boys' handwriting?" you brought up.

"did you actually believe that!? was just a discussion in a girl's meme forum." the pink one remarked.

"but there's some truth behind it. if you consider that people with a smaller hand can grip on a pen better when writing, also means the ones with big hands tend to have a sloppier handwriting!" you stated confident about your theory.

"girl, you're tripping... does this mean we're going across the school measuring boys' hands?" mina smirked unconvinced.

"precisely."

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

"what a fucking waste of time..." said raging.

"dude, calm down. at least you poured your feelings out..." eijiro reassured his bestfriend trying to point out the bright side of things.

but while he's the bright side, katsuki was the dark side. they say a good relationship is based in balance, in this case it makes total sense.

"you even checked if she read it?" asked the red haired.

"when she and mina walked by me at the corridor they were whispering and giggling like little lambs. probably laughing at that letter though." pouted.

"you're being paranoid, they're always like that."

"they're up to something..." bakugo murmured.

whilst the two struggled to put up with the 'plan cupid', the other two were constructing the 'plan pretty boy's handwriting'.

"as i was saying, a pencil has six inches approximately, we're looking for a hand as big at least. if we measure our hands we can compare with theirs without them noticing." stated grabbing a pen off her case.

"you're truly a genius. i refuse to accept you failed strategic test last week." mina complimented.

"i was in a really bad mood that day... anyway!" justified while traced her own hand in a empty page of mina's notebook. "fifteen centimeters. do yours and we're good to go!" demanded agitated.

when looking for friends of theirs, the girls pretended to just have a walk around the school.

"what if it was a girl?" mina asked suddenly.

"i doubt. how many girls with large hands do we know?" claimed.

"mmm... asui-san?"

"you've got to be kidding...!" pulled her phone and dialed quickly a number. "hey!" you smiled. "no, nothing really urgent, i just wanted to ask... are you perhaps in love with me?" questioned without any filter.

"girl you gone mad?" mina whispered holding back a laughter.

"uh, ok. anyways, thank you. we talk later, kisses!" you hung up. "see? that's not her."

"woah you're so straightforward! it scares me sometimes..."

the boys exited the restroom still discussing, but when the blondie heard a certain voice he stepped back. pulled eijiro's tie to hide behind a pillar with him. "shut it!" mouthed.

"i just wanted to ask... are you perhaps in love with me?"

"uh, ok."

his face started to burn as he became more anxious. could only hear a few words, enough to bring the boy into complete state of panic.

after the girls left he released his breath.

"stop overthinking! she just received a love letter, of course she's curious!" kirishima said.

"i didn't say anything, shitty-hair!"

"your face shows!" sighed. "seriously, how can she be so oblivious? just look at you! you're terrible at hiding."

"i- i... she doesn't even talk to me that often..." katsuki pitied.

"bro, you're not the friendliest around here. but she doesn't seem to be afraid of you." kiri pondered. "have you ever tried to smile?"

he looked at the red spiked guy and opened a shy smile.

"a bit more."

every time bakugo tried to put on smiling face it looked creepy. "be more genuine." said eijiro.

trying his best, but even with so much effort... his buddy analyzed. "ok. it looks absolutely terrifying."

"shit."

#mha fanfiction #mha bakugou #mha fluff #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugo x reader #self insert #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou x you #bakugou fluff #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x y/n

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joonipertree · 1 year

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I guarantee you, if I was in the Straw Hat crew and that moment comes where Luffy is like "are you gonna betray me?" and Law is like "no"

I WOULD BE THE ONE AND ONLY OTHER MEMBER TO BE LIKE "YEAH I TRUST HIM" FOR PURELY HORNY REASONS

And Nami, Usopp would be staring at me like ?!?!??!?!??!! because I have trust issues and would never be not suspicious of strangers.

But Law comes in with his fine fucking ass and deep voice and big hands and I'm drooling and ready to risk it all, including my friend's lives, to get close to him.

Getting beat up by him doesn't sound THAT bad.

I say this as if I would flirt with him but honestly I'd be a nervous wreck cuz that dude is.....hes....yeah he's rlly fucking hot.

And no one would understand except for Robin in the background because she's seen the books I've read and the pictures I've drawn and seen me scream about dark haired, stoic men with pretty hands and deep voices.

She knows I just found my ideal type. And that I would not be having even one single survival thought throughout because I'd be too busy making heart eyes at Law. As I should.

She would probably dub me "sanji but for men"

#trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar d law x reader #law x reader #one piece imagines #one piece fanfic #one piece #straw hat pirates #straw hat crew #one piece fanfiction #one piece x reader

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lalacliffthorne · 1 year

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because Instagram has been showing me a lot of dudes on motorcycles lately and that just really messes with my brain. so here's a lil modern!Az drabble. with a motorcycle.

(this actually might be a tiny lil sneak peak at a new drabble universe I´m currently building... 👀)

Trudging down the steps to the parking lot, I blinked into the sun that was already close to the horizon, sending warm golden rays over the few cars still there. Letting my eyes flicker over them, I felt my brows crease a little in confusion when I couldn't find Feyre's old mint-colored Bronco anywhere.

Beginning to slowly make my way through the parking lot, I looked over my shoulder, sliding my phone out of the pocket of my jeans as I looked back ahead - and stilled on the spot as my heart missed a beat, leaping against my ribs.

Near the entrance of the parking lot, Azriel leaned against his motorcycle. He was so tall, he basically lounged on the seat, his long legs stretched out on front of him. As usual, he was wearing all black, his jeans tucked into his boots, his armored jacket open over a plain hoodie. A strand of dark hair had fallen over his forehead as he looked to the side towards the other entrance, his brows crunched a little against the light of the low sun that made his skin shimmer golden.

Next to him him, two helmets sat on the tank.

My lips parted slightly, my breath hitched, and like he could feel my eyes on him, Azriel turned his head, his gaze finding mine.

The crease between his brows smoothed a little, and I thought I saw a soft twinkle flash through his eyes. Then one corner of his lips curved, and he straightened up, slipping his hands into his pockets and raising a brow at me.

Beginning to slowly move towards him, I squinted against the golden light, something beginning to pound against my ribs as I fought the ridiculously wide smile threatening to spread over my face and called: "What are you doing here?"

"Just finished class." Azriel's deep, steady voice sent shivers through my body, my heart stumbling in its rhythm when he watched me approach him, a soft twinkle dancing in his eyes. "Rhys texted me that Feyre's stuck at the gallery and that you needed a ride home, so I waited."

Something skipped against my ribs when I came to a halt in front of him, tipping my head back to frown up at him in slightly confused suspicion.

"And you just happened to have another helmet with you?"

Azriel's eyes flickered over my face, and one corner of his lips curved a little. Then he started stripping out of his jacket.

My heart tipped over in my chest, and my breath hitched as my eyes darted up to his face.

"What are you doing?"

"As long as you're on the back of my bike, your safety is priority." Azriel took a step forward, towering over me as one side of his lips quirked upwards. "Which means there's no way I'm gonna let you ride like this." Sliding the strap of my bag off my shoulder and dropping the tote between his feet, he straightened up again, handing me his jacket.

Feeling my brows furrow softly, I slowly took it, squinting up at him. "What about you?"

Azriel was standing so close he had to dip his head down to look at me, the golden specks in his eyes glimmering in the sun. "I'm fine."

My frown deepened. "No, you're not."

Az huffed, but the look he sent me lacked any heat, seeming more amused than anything else when he raised a brow at me and rapped his knuckles against his chest. "Armored."

"You run around with an armored hoodie and your jacket on a random Thursday?" I stared up at him with a suspicious frown even as my lips curved upwards and something suddenly fluttered against my ribs, and Azriel's cheek creased just a little as he looked down at me.

"Just put on the jacket, smart-ass."

Staring up at him for another second, I then grumbled softly and slowly complied.

The armor fitted into the material made the jacket pretty heavy. Slipping into the sleeves, I felt something in my chest dip softly when a wave of Azriel's scent washed over me; his cologne that smelled warm like cedar and something that was just him, deep and earthy and unobtrusively addictive.

The weight of the jacket felt strangely comforting when I slid it over my shoulders, tugging the hood of my sweatshirt out from underneath. The material was drowning me, far longer than it was supposed to be and probably looking ridiculous, and when I raised my head, I just caught Azriel's eyes flickering over me. He blinked, then he took a step forward, and my heart swerved sharply when his chest almost brushed against mine. My eyes darted up, and suddenly, my throat felt a little dry.

Azriel's iris was piercing as it moved over my face. I could feel the warmth radiating off his body when he reached out, carefully freeing my braid from under the material, then he reached down and tugged the jacket close. His knuckles grazed my chest when he zipped it up, straightening the collar, and my heart tipped over when his rough, warm skin brushed over my skin.

One corner of his lips twitched, and gently, Azriel raised a brow.

"This good?"

I swallowed softly and nodded, because his deep, quiet voice made something thrum so heavily in my chest, I didn't trust my own.

The corner of his lips curved up a little more, then Azriel took a step back, leaning down and picking up my bag to stuff it into his backpack. Taking it when he handed it over, I slid the straps over my shoulders. It wasn't too heavy, even with my things inside as well, which was a bit strange, considering I knew he must've had quite a few lectures today and had definitely needed his laptop -

Azriel stepped towards me, and my heart stumbled again when his hands closed around the straps, tightening them until the backpack was sitting snugly against my back. I tried to keep my breath from hitching as I looked up at him, the strand of hair still stubbornly curving over his forehead as he dipped his head to check the zippers of the jacket again.

Azriel threw me a look, and there was a light crease to the side of his lips, then he blinked.

"Alright." He pulled a pair of gloves from his back pocket, looking over my head when a car rolled past. "Put these on."

"You just happen to have another pair of gloves?" I felt my lips curve into a slow, incredulous grin as I raised my eyes to stare up at him, simply because this was getting ridiculous, and Azriel threw me a glowering look that made me beam.

Azriel's lips curved a little, then he turned around, and I slipped into the gloves. They were quite big, and I had to pull the velcro strap tight over my wrist so they wouldn't slip. Then I raised my head, and my breath hitched when Azriel swung a leg over the bike, sitting down on the leather seat. I could see his shoulders shift even under the loose hoodie as he picked up one of the helmets, holding it out to me.

Stepping forward, I took it and carefully pulled it over my head, the feeling a little strange as I shuffled it in place. Trying to tighten the strap under the chin, I furrowed my brows in frustration. How on earth was I supposed to do that with these huge gloves o-

Fingers slipped under my jacket and into my belt loops, and my eyes darted up, my breath hitching and stilling when Azriel pulled me forward until I bumped into his side.

My heart did a backflip before tilting, and Az reached up to gently pull the strap tight until it rested against my skin. His fingers brushed over my throat, causing a soft shuddering tingle to travel down my spine, then they slipped down, checking the jacket, the straps of the backpack and the gloves. I felt my heart beat into my throat as I stared at the focused crunch of his brows, then I blinked when Azriel raised his head.

"Alright, I already set up the comms, so you'll be able to talk to me even with the helmets on."

I nodded, flexing my shoulders as my heart started fluttering in my chest, and Azriel's gaze moved over my face, his iris looking like molten gold in the sinking sun. Then one corner of his lips quirked.

"Ready?"

I exhaled softly, shaking out my arms and nodding, feeling my heart skip, now in nerves and excitement. "Yep."

Azriel straightened and looked over his shoulder as I stepped forward. Just sitting upright on the bike, he was still tall enough that I had to actually raise my arms up to grab his shoulders as I placed my right foot on the rear footrest. Azriel's hand came up, closing around my elbow to steady me as he looked back at me, and my heart skipped a beat when his amber eyes settled steadily on my face.

"One, two -" His hand squeezed my elbow, and I pulled myself up onto the seat behind him.

A soft, breathy giggle left me, and I thought I felt Azriel's shoulders vibrate in a quiet, amused chuckle. Then he looked over his shoulder, and my heart rose when I saw the twinkle in his eyes. "You good?"

I nodded, my hands slipping over his back as I shuffled until I was comfortable, then I raised my head, and Azriel arched an eyebrow. "I'll need you to hold on tight and stay close, okay?"

I saluted cheekily, something under my ribs suddenly hopping with excitement, and Azriel huffed, but I saw the curve of his lips as he turned back around.

I drummed my fingers against Azriel's back as he put on his helmet, the giddy feeling in my chest expanding when he slipped on his gloves. Then he looked over his shoulder, and I almost jumped a little in surprise when I heard his voice clearly in my helmet.

"You ready?"

Quickly wrapping my arms around his middle and squeezing, I nodded, and even though I could barely see the outline of his face under the dark visor, I was sure to see Azriel's lips curve. Then he turned back around.

"Then let's go." He started the engine, and my breath hitched when the bike sprung to life, vibrating a little. Azriel leaned forward, and I followed his movement, slipping my arms tighter around him as my body curved into his back and my heart fluttered in excitement. Then Az pushed off, and I buried my fingers in his hoodie when we turned in a wide arch, the rumble of the engine causing my spine to tingle giddily as Azriel headed for the exit.

The golden sunlight illuminated the streets, its rays falling through the red and yellow leaves and reflecting off windows as the cool wind brushed over my ankles, sending happy shivers down my spine as I held onto Azriel and looked up at the buildings zipping past as he weaved through the early evening traffic. I could feel his muscles shift under my arms wrapped tightly around him.

"You okay?" His deep voice vibrated through me even forwarded by the comms, and my breath hitched when his right hand slipped off the handle, reaching back to gently close around the inside of my knee. Even with gloves on I swore I could feel the warmth of his skin seep through the material of my jeans as he squeezed lightly, and something swerved in my chest.

I nodded quickly before realising he couldn´t see it, and my heart skipped as I called back, a wide, beaming smile spreading over my face: "Yeah!"

A soft chuckle vibrated through Azriel's body. For a second, I could feel his hand linger, body relaxed as I buried my fingers in his hoodie, then he slipped it off and looked over his shoulder, and I leaned to the side a little so he could see past me, squinting into the sun as Azriel switched lanes.

#azriel #az #azriel drabble #azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel/reader #azriel x female!reader #az x reader #az imagine #az/reader #acotar x reader #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acotar drabble #modern!roommate batboys series #modern au #lalacliffthorne #drabble

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mouwrites · 8 months

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Hey can we get the Ninjas with an S/O who's basically Jessica rabbit and how they would deal with people constantly hitting on their S/O?

Of course my dear!! Unrelated but I love Jessica Rabbit,,,

Ninjago - Ninjas With an s/o Who Gets Flited With a Lot

Kai

When he first sees someone flirting with you, his initial reaction is a sort of pride

He's happy that other people are noticing how smoking hot his s/o is

But that only lasts for half a second; then comes the jealousy

He hops up and tries to look casual while he saunters over and wraps an arm around your waist

He'll stare coldly at the person flirting with you, trying to intimidate them

When it doesn't work he uses his voice, trying to show the person that they're not welcome

"And just who are you again?"

He'll only get more passive aggressive as the interaction goes on

There have been times that he's escalated it to straight-up aggression, and even violence, at which point you had to take it upon yourself to remove you both from the situation

You'll have to talk to him while he cools down, letting him vent about how angry the person was making him

In the end he knows it's not your fault and that you'd never leave him

Still, reassuring him on that front would probably help him calm down

He's just mad that some scumbag thought they could take you from him

After such an instance he usually sticks close to you, making sure to keep a hand on you to demonstrate that you're together

Cole

He doesn't really care when people flirt with you

He knows that it's only natural; you're the most gorgeous person in the world to him (and others, evidently)

He trusts that you'll be loyal and that you can handle yourself

But he still keeps an eye on you when out in public

He's watching to see if you're uncomfortable and need help; only then will he step in

He knows all your tells, but you guys also have a secret hand gesture that means you need help

So, when he sees the gesture, or any body language signaling that you're uncomfortable, he jumps into action

He sidles up to your side, placing himself as close as possible to you

He'll try to be at least somewhat pleasant at first: just emphasizing that you guys are dating, hoping to put the person off

But if that doesn't work he'll be more blunt

"Dude. You're being creepy. Get lost."

When they finally leave, he checks to make sure you're okay

Your well-being is much more important to him than any doubts he might have about your relationship

Not that he has any; he's fully confident that your relationship is strong

But if he did he'd still put you first

If you want him to be your body guard for the rest of the night, he'll happily oblige

(and he makes a pretty good guard, too, being so huge and intimidating (when he wants to be))

Jay

He HATES when people flirt with you

Like, he knows why; you're obviously always the most attractive person in the room

But you're his s/o! Other people shouldn't be flirting with you!

Sometimes he wishes that you could just wear a big sign that says "I'm taken"

(He has actually asked you to do this before)

The second he sees someone talking to you, he's already inching closer to see what's up

Even if they're not being outright flirty, he's still suspicious of them

He'll keep getting closer, not bothering to be sneaky at all

This often has the unintentional effect of the person leaving before he even gets within talking range

They just get creeped out that this guy is glaring at them while slowly yet steadily approaching

If they don't get scared off, he wraps an arm around you and intensifies his glare

He'll insert himself into the conversation crudely, speaking directly to you and "ignoring" the other person

"Hey, babe. Ready to go back to our shared apartment? Where we live together because we're partners?"

Then the person usually takes the hint, but by then they're probably more amused than annoyed

When they're finally gone Jay still watches them, still glaring

He's a little insecure that you'll leave him, just because you're so stunning (and, admittedly, sometimes the people flirting with you are, too)

He'll need lots of reassurance that he's good enough for you :(

Zane

Out of all the ninjas, Zane is the most bothered when people flirt with you

He knows he's not the best when it comes to romance, so he feels like every time someone flirts with you he's instantly being one-upped

It makes him more sad and insecure than anything

He knows that you're loyal to him, so he's not jealous

But he doesn't know why you're so adamant to stay with him, especially when someone flirts with you

He just frowns while he listens to their clever pick up lines, sometimes not even understanding them

It makes him feel a little better when you frown, too

When you send him the "a little help here?" look, though, that's when his heart skips a beat

It's his chance to show why he's the one you chose

He balks for half a second, but quickly gathers the courage to insert himself into the interaction

He places himself at your side, standing like a perfect gentleman and even smiling faintly (despite the fact that he feels a little inferior to the flirter)

Then it's your cue to emphasize what a gentleman he is, and how disinterested you are in everyone else

"This is my boyfriend, Zane. He's always so respectful in. Just look at how he's standing! Never gets all handsy or flirty in public, either."

Zane just nods, his smile growing along with his confidence

He needs to hear those words about as much as his "competitor" does

Once they're gone, he feels much more confident about himself and why you want to be with him :)

Lloyd

Lloyd respects you immensely; he knows you're loyal, honorable, brave... and most of all, drop-dead gorgeous

It's that last thing that worries him a little

Not because it makes him question your other merits; not at all

It makes him more conscious about others' merits (or rather, lack of)

He doesn't trust people to be respectful to you

He tries his best not to hover when you're in public, but he does get a touch anxious if you don't check in every now and again

Especially if you're the type to get uncomfortable when someone flirts with you

He tries to prevent flirting from happening in the first place, but sometimes it just can't be helped

The second he sees someone flirting with you, anxiety strikes

He knows how... inappropriate flirting can get, and just the thought makes him blush

He doesn't want you to be subject to that

So he'll hurry to your side, turning the situation away from romance

He won't be nasty or try to scare the person off, he'll just redirect the conversation

"Hey, how about that game last night? The, uh... sports... game..."

He's trying 😭

He doesn't want to disrespect this person (even though they're low-key disrespecting you)

When they're gone he'll double-check to make sure they didn't make you uncomfortable or anything

As long as you're good, he's good :) until someone else comes up

Nya

She also gets flirted with a lot, especially operating in a team of all boys

So she knows the struggle, and she's fully equipped to help you out

She'll teach you the tricks she's learned to scare off creeps, but of course she's also always more than happy to step in

You guys have a complete code language of phrases and gestures that mean things ranging from "creep o'clock, be on guard" to "I'm good, are you?" to "please save me"

To give an example: if you're both in a conversation and someone is starting to seem like they have bad intentions, you can say "I saw a snake a while ago," which means "potential creep right here. thoughts?"

Responses include: "so did I," ("yep, let's ditch") or "no, it was a rubber hose, remember?" ("let's stick around a little longer")

It's a very intricate language that only expands over time

You guys actually have a lot of fun making and using it

And it's obviously quite useful

But in terms of jealousy, since Nya knows what it's like to be harassed, she knows it's not a challenge to one's loyalty

She totally trusts you, and expects you to feel the same

But sometimes when she just really doesn't like someone, she'll put a protective arm around you and make it obvious that you're hers

When they're finally gone, you guys either giggle about it or watch them leave with scowls; either way you make sure to check in on each other first

In general, though, you guys learn to have fun expelling unwarranted advances; it's almost like a fun little game you play together :]

Thank you for this request! And thanks for reading, take care sweet duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

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weebsinstash · 1 year

Text

As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice

-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--

-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior

-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...

-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"

-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him

-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead

- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...

Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"

Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there

-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore

-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that

-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"

-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"

-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"

-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️

-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)

-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"

Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...

#yandere miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #yandere x reader #yandere spiderverse #yandere stuff #sinprompts

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