#I'M BARELY INTO DAY 2 BUT THEY LIVE THERE
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adding onto some of the points as a trisana person!! same tw applies here!!
goal weights: don't hesitate to break your big ugw into smaller gws. if you use pounds, i'd recommend to place your smaller gws every 10lbs until your ugw, if you use kilograms i recommend 5kg instead. also don't hesitate to lower your ugw. mine used to be 75lbs (around 34kg), now it's 20kg (about 44lbs), it's pretty common to lower your ugw after a while
fasting: start small, holy fuck please start small. don't immediately start doing 2 days fast otherwise you're very likely to fail. intermittent fasting is good, i recommend tracking it with an app (i use zero personally) but honestly just using a timer app is fine too. my biggest advice in general (i'll talk more about it in the food section) is to first observe your current habits, and build your new habits around them. if you're already used to not eating breakfast, you can already start with 16:8 fasts daily, and slowly start pushing your lunch later or your dinner earlier. personally my preferred way of fasting is OMAD (one meal a day) because i live with family and can't get out of eating dinner lol
food: this might be controversial but hear me out. don't immediately start restricting, especially not low restriction (low res = low amount of cals, some people might see it as not restricting a lot but this is how i use low/high res). instead, give yourself a week of simply tracking your food, without counting the cals, to get yourself used to doing it. then, one week of counting the cals but not giving yourself any goal. look at the numbers, try to see if there's a pattern (for example, eating more on weekends, etc). keep this pattern throughout your restriction. start slowly, SLOWLY, getting those numbers down. i repeat, do not suddenly restrict to 500 a day, you're setting yourself up for failure. and the "doing it slowly" part is especially useful if you're still living with your family because slowly eating less and less is less suspicious than suddenly barely eating. i personally find using an app for calorie tracking not that useful, i like writing it down in a notebook, but a few app suggestions i have are myfitnesspal, calory, cronometer, and lose it
other stuff: WATCH!! ED-RELATED!! MEDIA!! to the bone is a classic, my personal favorite is ★ving in suburbia/th!nsp1ration, the first is available on netflix i think and the second is on tubi (use a vpn if you're not from the US). that, or watch wl shows. supersized vs superskinny, secret eaters, my 600lbs life, it's your fault i'm fat, etc... other than my 600lbs life they are all on tubi too, not sure where to find my 600lbs life without tlc tbh. i know the first two are also on youtube if you prefer that
specifically, if you decide to watch supersized vs superskinny, observe the superskinny's habits, replicate them. in the second and third season, they also have a segment where they follow anorexic people's treatment, it's also full of behavior to replicate. documentary about anorexics are a goldmine in that way.
i could have sworn i had a post saved somewhere with a list of ed media but i can't find it. oh well. edit: found it (link) :)
more other stuff: workout, for the love of everything unholy workout please. if you're not a bug workout person (same) just pick two or three exercises you know you can do, and do 200 of them in a day.
i do recommend having a notebook to track your wl and keep some advices, maybe cals in specific foods you eat semi-regularly, some motivation, etc. having a physical object that is decicated to wl helps me focusing on it, it also serves as a good distraction.
anyway i've yapped too much. last advice go on twt and find some of those "how i lose x kg/lbs in y days!!" they will have more advice
>> Transan0rexia tips!
tw: eating dis0rder!!!!
>> first of all i recommend thinking what you want your ultimate goal weight to be and always keep it mind! >> you can also make shorter term goals when it comes to weight to help you be motivated! (for example if your ultimate goal weight is 90 lbs then a good goal weight could be 110-100 lbs) >> Fasting: i recommend starting small and working your way up! >> so i would start with intermidiate fasting (fasting for like 16 hours and having a 8 hour window to eat) >> then you can start 24 hours fast!! >> drink lots and lots and lots of water when fasting, not only does it keep you full but dry fasting is super dangerous! >> try to keep yourself as occupide as possible, keeping yourself occupide helps with not thinking about food as much!! >> foods: have a calorie limit! >> it can be any cal limit!! is up to you! >> you can have a few meals per day that are under your limit or have one big meal ones a day thats is your limit, which ever works <33 >> i also reccomend having a food ritual, it helps with making feel eating like a task and makes you want to eat less! >> some examples of food rituals: drinking on cup of water before during and after a meal, taking a sip of water after every bite, chew 30 times, have 20 bites of your food, ect >> the food rituals can be anything, its just to make eating as tasky as possible!! >>if possible i recommend making a 3dblr acc >> theres lots and lots of tips there! >> some abbrevations(?? idk how to describe it) that are use on 3dblr! : ugw: ultimate goal weight, gw: goal weight , cw: current weight , hw: highest weight , lw: lowest weight , sw: starting weight, b/p: binge purging , c/s : chew and spit (if there any i miss let me know!!!) >>also look into bmi! bmi is your bodies mass percentage!
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taking up space in my brain
#I'M BARELY INTO DAY 2 BUT THEY LIVE THERE#disco elysium#my art#stream liquid nights and disco lights by miracle of sound also
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Btw if you come on holidays and stay at an AirBnb instead of an actual registered hotel I hate you personally. Not "I hate the gentrification and touristic massification and the way we can't live in our homes and are forced to move away because of tourism" in an abstract way- No, not just that. I hate you.
#I'm from a seaside town that has become popular with tourists who come for the beach and the mediterranean climate#and the typical whitewashed walls of mediterranean coastal towns#in just a few years the average rent has gone up so much that now the average rent id#*is over 1000€ per month#one thousand!#that's a whole salary!#in the past 2 years they've been building a new neighbourhood. they've destroyed the vinyeards to make a new neighbourhood that will make#the town 1/3 bigger than it is. that's a lot. but all those houses are luxury houses with private swimming pools for rich foreigners (we#already have 2 private British schools high schools and college(in the british sense)/baccalaureate where their kids go and never have to#interact with locals. I teach some of those kids and they're very prejudiced against locals and very bigoted against the catalan language#(which ofc they never bother to learn)#there's a law in catalonia that says that for every certain amount of houses you build you are obligated to build a certain percentage of#affordable housing. so in this new neighborhood they built the bare minumum affordable housing which is still too expensive for us#and since there's so few of them everyone is competing to get them. the city hall and the bank have had to make an official competition for#them but you only classify if the renr would not be more than 1/3rd of your salary which is impossible. my cousins who are in their mid 30s#and have been working a good qualified job for 15 years (and their partners too) are considered too poor to be considered for the#affordable housing#everyone is having to move out to other cities away from their friends and family and current jobs. the only jobs left here soon will be#mostly directed at tourists#and the only way to continue living here if you're a normal person and not rich is if you're an only child who one day might inherit the#parents' house#but we look around at what's happening in nearby cities and we see the next step which will be airbnb taking the houses that are left#in many places (I've posted about thia before) there aren't any flats for rent or sell anymore that isn't an airbnb#I'm still lucky in my town when compared to other places like Barcelona which are already full of the airbnb plague#actualitat#airbnb#tourism#touristic massification#gentrification
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Watching critical role but starting at campaign one so everytime i get a cr post it's like dodging a fucking bullet
#yes i know I'm 8 years late shut up#i got introduced to it by the vox machina show#and I've wanted to get into DnD for a WHILE#and now because i have work i have 9 hours every day to watch in the background#and I'm loving it so much#I'm so excited for every episode#AND excited for campaigns 2 and 3#but yeah#i would live post about it but#1- it's at work so i cant very well just stop everytime smtg cool happens#2- I'm already halfway through the campaign#3- i barely use this place anyways#though i should more often#anyways#critical role#maybe?#if you made it this far#ily
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this 😭#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a “let's live together and get a cat one day” relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a “sex and video games” type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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"Uhhh violence never the answer it's childish to start fights" it's also childish to refuse any and all criticism and expect everyone around you to bend over backwards to accommodate your every fucking whim and never do the same in return. If YOU make YOURSELF impossible to have a mature conversation with, people are going to stop trying.
#also again her and grandma's negligence resulted in my dad getting mauled by HER dog but we don’t get to be mad about that? fuck off#your dog is going to be euthanized. this will happen again with the wrong fucking person and they will press charges and your dog will die.#and I know for a FACT if either of our dogs had done anything even close to what hers did she would have flipped her shit#and now because she can't handle the bare minimum responsibilities of a dog owner our dogs are traumatized.#dad got hurt trying to separate her dog from Ghost(our aussie) bc he has no socialization skills and wouldn't leave Ghost tf alone#and then a day after THAT Ghost attacked Elphie (our corgi) bit her head and flipped her on her back. drew blood.#so because my aunt refuses to train her fucking dog now Ghost is triggered by the dog he has lived with his entire life#and has never EVER had issues with her! he has some excitability issues but he has NEVER been aggressive and has always deffered to Elphie#she's always been the one in charge. he's playful and friendly and has never instigated anything all 3 years of his life prior to this.#I am so fucking mad dog training is not just for the owner's convenience it's so your animal and other animals/people can be SAFE#they have a 2 year old and an 8 year old in that house a dog like this is a hazard. And to be clear I am not blaming the animal.#he is being neglected. they refuse to train him so they obviously can't manage his behavior so he just gets locked in his crate#which sucks for any animal but especially a year and a half old puppy who wants to play so he just sits in there and barks for fucking HOURS#it just sucks! I'm mad! He's a sweet dog but he has no self regulation skills so he's way too reactive! hes gonna bite one of the kids or a#stranger or another dog and then he won't have any chance to improve because he will be euthanized.
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burnout is supposed to end at some point, I have read this. However, how do you know when it has ended and you should gradually force yourself through more activities to get used to living a life again, and when doing that will send you Directly back to an even worse ring of hell. Is there like a guidebook or
#in some ways it sucks i've never had one massive breakdown just like small ones that didn't really justify lying in bed for a month#like when i say i'm doing that i'm also usually doing bare minimum reading eating exercise#in addition to lying in bed and scrolling for 5 billion hours#i'm still making plans and attempting to get better it's just at a glacial pace#it's not working i'm not feeling better i still feel like if i find a job or try to make a decision i'll probably break in a million pieces#then any time i try to work harder the rebound of that hits me even worse#every job i feel like i can deal with less and less masking. until one day i just won't be able to hold down one for more than 2 months#i kept trying every strategy i knew and it just wouldn't keep me from having to go to my car and scream sometimes#feels like walking over coals trying to apply for internships rn but schoolwork is the only task i like some of the time#need the internship to graduate if i don't graduate i'll just be stuck doing things i hate even more#ik you shouldn't apply to grad school just to go but if i can put off dealing with living a life outside of academia for even 1 year longer#worth the mountains of debt#like even if i drop out and everything goes horribly that's a year i didn't spend saying thank you have a nice day#god. i'm going back to thinking abt lesbian necromancers now. wow that brief look into my mental state sucked
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i've been buying groceries for myself for the past 7 years but now that i live on my own again..... was not buying little treats for myself always this hard
#like??? it's not like someone was doing my shopping for me#i lived on my own for 5 years but i was barely able to afford basic food back then#then i lived with my parents for 2 years and i was able to afford whatever i wanted to eat but i was reasonable#and now that i moved out again ????#almost every day i'm like. i deserve a little treat :3 hehe#like girl!!! just bc you can doesn't mean you should!!!!#i have a stash of sweets in my drawer and yet. when i go to a grocery store and see some mango flavoured chocolate or something i'm like oh#a little treat!#monkey brain istg#k.txt
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My most interacted with fics:
Cocky Bastard Vibes (Zhongli)
Tipsy Tales (Anemo boys)
Why He Rejected You (pt 1)
Telling Them Off (Ayato, Venti, Xiao)
A Sight to Behold (Yae Miko)
Obvious (Neuvillette)
Simple (Alhaitham)
What Destiny Has Brought (Fischl)
Why He Rejected You (pt 2)
Blasphemous Assumptions (Zhongli)
#personal#cocky bastard vibes is the least surprising thing on this list. it's the fic that convinced me to turn off my notifications haha#if you're a fan of this fic tho you can expect the spiritual sequel to be getting posted as the next chapter in the bookkeeping!series#tipsy tales is also not surprising. tumblr really likes low effort posts like those#i'd really love to expand on xiao and the traveler's one someday#why he rejected you (pt 1) shocked me when i first posted it because i expected people to hate it haha#i posted it to make a point because i was feeling petty at some of the character portrayal i was seeing#another reason i was shocked is bc pt 2 has all the popular characters but did worse than pt 1#i thought itd be reversed#telling them off is really shocking tho bc other than the ayato fic the other two fics SUCK HAHA#venti's is barely anything and xiao's portrayal is SO BAD. 'secret identities' is a way better portrayal of him#a sight to behold is also shocking because the genshin fandom on tumblr only like men#this fic is my most self-indulgent of them all because i am a SIMP. i really like the sequel to this fic tho#for 'obvious' every time i read that fic i'm surprised at how decent the ending is bc i fully admit i rushed it#but it's a typical romance (atypical for me) so it's not surprising it's on here#'SIMPLE' PISSES ME OFF. THAT FIC DOES NOT DESERVE THAT MANY NOTES. made me so mad 😡#'what destiny has brought' tho... that's the most shocking. like don't get me wrong it's a good fic but.... FISCHL??????#fun fact i literally cannot stand fischl. she's so irritating. i wrote that fic bc i couldn't stand the ending to her summer fantasia event#'she truly became fischl' BUT SHE'S LITERALLY NOT FISCHL??? she's living a lie???#she pretends to be someone else because she hates herself so much. instead of encouraging her delusions shouldnt we like???#give her some self-esteem and show her amy is worthy of love?#BUT THAT'S JUST ME#anyway 'blasphemous assumptions' is not surprising. it's not my favorite but it's definitely of the funnier in the bookkeeping series#out of all these fics 'what destiny has brought' and 'obvious' are my recommendations#one day i wanna do my lowest ranking fics because those are my favorite
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Local man has an 8 hour shift 2morrow gn every1
#1 of my coworkers asked me 2 cover for him 2morrow bc he knows im barely getting hours rn#which is rlly sweet so instead of only 12 hours this week i get 20 and it rlly helps bc i need to save up for a computer#im gonna open comms eventually but rn im too drained 2 work on anything. even personal projects#i gotta get a computer and somehow save up 4 a car but christmas and me redoing my room &#stuff made my bank acct take a serious hit. which. is fine ig bc I'm not living alone yet#i still gotta set my 401k or whatever its called up. and do the savings/investing thing#work should b paying me 25 an hour man..all my work these last couple months only totalled to maybe 3k#if i was going 2 college that'd be all gone in like..2 weeks bc a bachelor's 4 game design @ snhu is a lil 1k every 8 weeks#with financial aid apparently bc somehow i make 2 much. anyway#its 2am im rambling and i gotta b up at 10#so gn every1#ily'all#mwah#xoxo#and such#also im excited 4 valentines day bc all the silly pink lovecore stuff is out and i rlly want to b pink & cute this year idk#elliot rambles
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#it's only me and my mom now and she's my least favorite family member atm (because she's insane and fucking a 23 year old)#i mean my sister comes to visit every weekend but she goes out with his friends who live here#and she works as a firefighter during the weekend too so i barely see her#also i haven't replied my brother's texts and i'm gonna stay in my room all day and hopefully he'll think i'm mad at him.#is that manipulative? 😁#😐#i didn't ask when he's leaving but probably very soon cause he already quit his job#crazy how my sister recently told me she's scared i'm gonna kms cause i'm alone all day and now it's gonna be even lonelier 🥴#i'm not gonna kms tho 🥱 cause my current delusion is that i'm gonna be brave and get over my fear of going out if i grow my hair 😁👍🏼#i feel like in 2 months it's gonna be long enough
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Today is the last day of posting 56 poems (almost) daily?! I’m not ready?!?!?
#AHHHHHHH#I'm EXHAUSTED because my life is a living hell and I can barely function atm#But it's been so#Idk#Satisfying?!#It's been an accomplishment#It'll feel empty without it ;A;#Yadda yadda#I only missed two (2) days and it was because of awful migraines
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I want to leave this place
#I'm sick of living with them#the favouritism had always been clear but it's clearly getting more obvious#fuck those 2.#I'm tired of it.#i do one tiny thing wrong and I'm a villain or a bitch. yet he can fucking swear and cuss him out. threaten him.all is forgetten a daylater#and my brother has so much self entitlement. just like his dad lmao.#i barely talk to my brother anymore. don't think I've properly spoken to him since that specific day back in autumn#but that was all apparently partially my fault. i should've stepped away and not retaliated when i was threatened#fucking threaten to beat me or do try and I'll give you something to remember.#I'm not going to shut up like i did as a kid. because the only person who ever got hurt then was me#at least you'll come out with as many broken bones as me.#this shit makes me so fucking angry.#is it that difficult to treat people with respect?#i go to fucking work and nobody bloody listens to shit i say. I'm at home and it's the same shit.#and the only reason anyone at college listens to me is after flipping out on the lot of them for the exact same reason#you shouldn't have to scare people for respect#vent#Charlie tag
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vent ii.
#so i guess i went over the tag limit and didn't realize so half of that vent post was cut off#cool cool#basically i said i think next year is gonna be a year of figuring shit out#probably not fixing anything but trying to figure out ways to make my life.. work better#i also really want to travel next year. because travel is the only thing that makes me feel sane and alive and happy#i already have a trip to amsterdam in the works to meet up with a bunch of online friends and i wanna make it work so bad#so i need to make sure i have enough money for that#but i also want to do a trip somewhere pretty that i haven't been like wales or scotland#or even a road trip somewhere in north america#but i cannot drive and so i can't go alone and also i like sharing my adventures with people#but i don't think anybody wants to travel with me so there's that#i need to figure out another way to make income apart from my shop bc i'm barely scraping by#and i WANT to do barn chores again#even tho it take a huge physical toll on my body i would rather do that than another job bc i can do things at my#own pace and i rarely have to interact with anyone and i can be around horses all day#but to do that i would have to move in with my mom and i don't think she wants me living there and idk how much she would charge me rent#it would also cause a lot of problems with my dad. he would be uspet and bitter and probably mad at me.#and would also try and convince me to stay like 'i'll drive you to the barn every week!' which would be 2+ hours of driving and#him driving me to work every day was part of why i had a breakdown and quit my last job bc he would cause so much anxiety#but my mom is literally surrounded by barns where she lives aND is on a bus route so#tbc
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I think the first time you burn out & take a little break from living in a society After you know what's wrong with you should be like a celebration. When you feel it coming on and then plan for it and burn out right on schedule it's a coming of age thing. welcome to living in this world if you've just crashed & burned and now you know why! you should have your beverage of choice and sit in the bath about it
#takes bong hit. when you feel like situations were overwhelming sometimes it's because they were#i was reading through this old journal i kept where i wrote down things that made me happy bc research showed that helps with mental health#and one of the entries was like so i scrubbed the mold off my wall it keeps coming back but at least it looks nice now!#girl.#facepalm#call into work to send the email about that you can't just let that happen. both jobs. call in#living in the worst conditions with 2 jobs and full time class still barely making rent like why am i sad & overwhelmed?#girl i.#it wasn't even that bad this last time i was living with family in a place with no mold working and only taking like 1 or 2 classes#it wasn't quite as concerning tho i'm sure at some point we will unpack the way customers acted during the early days of covid bc wow.
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