#I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON I KNOW

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

[reminiscingtonight]

Ovdj ate shit bc the field is so slippery and I'm trying really hard not to laugh

[humans-are-tasty]

crochawk exchange for a crochawker

[lunewolf13]

Spilling Tea Part 6:

All the Robins (minus Jason, who left early) are sitting criss-cross applesauce on a plush carpet, summoned by Dick Grayson to play "truth or dare but without a dare and you can choose what to spill" (officially named by Dick).

Dick: Now it's your turn, Dami.

Damian: Richard, I am unsure I have anything of interest to share.

Dick: Don't sell yourself short, Baby Bat! I'm sure whatever it is, it'll be great!

Steph, who is experiencing some doubt: Uhh, totally!

Damian nods thoughtfully: Very well. I have learned the existence of the Pistol Shrimp, also known as the Snapping Shrimp.

Tim: Oh here we go.

Damian: They are largely carnivorous with a variety of feeding behaviors. They live in colonies consisting of hundreds of Pistol Shrimp. The name given to this creature is due to—

Dick: Damian, while we'd all love to hear all about Pistol Shrimp, you're supposed to talk about yourself.

Damian: A landscape caught my eye in a gallery—

Tim: Nope.

Damian: The Kent farm has six young chicks. During my stay, I was permitted to feed them.

Duke: You told everyone about that at dinner last week.

Damian: Tt.

Dick: Don't worry about it. You'll think of something.

Damian shifts uncomfortably: I would rather not.

Dick smiles at him, then scoots closer.

Damian: Richard.

Dick scoots even closer.

Damian scoots back: Grayson.

Dick snatches him up into his lap. Damian responds by hissing like an unruly cat, but thankfully does not attack. In fact, he looks rather comfortable to just stay trapped in Dick's hug.

Damian: If I comply with the 'bonding activity' rules, will you release me?

Dick fully intends to keep him for ten minutes minimum: Of course.

Damian: Tt. It has recently come to my attention that Todd is in possession of my photos. He has been exploiting them without my permission by seeking monetary profit from Father.

Steph: What kind of photos?

Damian eyes Dick suspiciously: Of my childhood. Starting from infanthood.

They are all hit with a mental image of what they imagine a little baby Damian would look like.

Dick in his head: I need to make a call after this. Multiple calls, actually.

[adamanteine]

tired of fandoms being annoying wdym a masc character can kill 532432432324 people and be a freak and they'll be like omg it's okay he can do no wrong SLAY ME NEXT KING <3 but a femme character is dominant once and they're like i hope she dies violently SHES EVIL

[orengejoshi]

do u write fanfics? i need to GOON 💔

damn brother, you just gonna come at me like that? alright I see you

that's a great question tho! I have indeed thought about writing a fic... for years tbh...

but there's a myriad of problems

well first of all I'm not native in english. that is probably noticeable more often than not. I sometimes even use a translator, I always secretly got google/dict.cc open in a second tab. didn't formally learn english, I just snagged it by proxy listening to American Youtubers and reading manga online. that's why I prefer to ramble a bit in public or to my damn self in private areas than live-texting 1 on 1/in groups; bc I can take more time totally judgement-free. you're gonna see me "typing..." for 30 minutes and wonder wtf is taking this mf so long?!

apart from that there's dyslexia. I can't spell one word correctly without swipe-to-type autocorrect. I think all arguments I've gotten into stem from me mistyping, using completely wrong words, messing up the sentence structure etc

my brain is a single dense cloud of fog that'll occasionally split open to drizzle down a bunch of jumbled thoughts that I could turn into barely cohesive words if I'm brave enough and exude copious amounts of energy.

so my linguistic skills are not up to par. my intelligence lies more in... intrapersonal and existential departments.

unsurprisingly I've thus become a visual artist to express myself.

the catch is... that I understand paperhat, I do.

but I can't seem to draw toxic dynamics. my head is just empty about how to depict it. it's like it doesn't come naturally to me. not without going overboard and making a whole comic that I would likely abandon before even reaching the half mark. I've been given these angelic skills along with the curse that I shall only draw joyous, bright scenes.

however if I could write it... now we're talking.

as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that most of my ideas are way too dark and sober. people don't know me like that so I'm petrified about the presumably shocked response when and if I did drop smth like that.

I'm not ready for that... I have really severe OCD (that the internet is making way worse with their anxious tendencies to interpret smth sinister into any and all fiction that is not happiness and rainbows. which seems new to me, idk where this mindset to read so deep into shit is suddenly coming from. I was here 2017-19, left for like 3 years and all of a sudden everybody's fallen off their rockers)

writing domestic stuff is too boring for me... there's gotta be gut-wrenching horrors and drama and tragedy and conflict!

none of this would be PG (which is what I assume you're asking for anyway) I'd just write smut with sprinkles of character studies and a pinch of comedy mayhaps, but I used to do that about 10 years ago and it was so bad. the way I describe these scenes comes off very plump and cringe

I... might. dip my toes into it later this year.

I'll drop a few ideas in the tags... maybe 2 ideas. very roughly. without spoilers, just in case.

[atalienart]

Someone says oh I love men in books because they're so amazing to the woman they love, all the things they say are so romantic and they would burn the world for her, they respect her and all, men written by women>>>>>>. And then someone in the comments says yes! like in Haunting Adeline, Xane the love of my life! -_- ...

[irenespring]

Thoughts on Bertha Russell (Many Thoughts)

I am So curious about Bertha Russell's backstory. We have little snippets:

Her father was a potato farmer.

She has lots of mommy issues. (George mentions her mother said she was the only child "worthy of her dreams" to which Bertha angrily responds that her mother's dreams were worthless because she died with nothing which is A Lot)

She has sibling issues. (George offers to invite her sister to a thing and she refuses)

She and George met when they were both poor, they made the fortune together.

She had a distinct learning curve when they first got to New York. She bought The Wrong House and made The Wrong Friends and had to learn and relearn things over a period of years. (I am especially interested about this time, because she would know Nothing, being the ultimate outsider, but she is a tactical genius and viciously ambitious...I want to see young!Bertha in the early stages of the struggle before she knows how to dress/talk/act).

I hope we will learn more about her because more than any of the other characters she wants things. Things that are nebulous, but she doesn't seem to realize are nebulous, because she has clear goals but they don't satisfy her so she has to make another goal. Loving husband doing well? Not enough. They have enough money to hear the call of the guillotine? It's not enough, they need status. They have status? Not enough, they need to beat Lina Astor. Now they've beaten Lina Astor, but I don't think anyone thinks that's going to be enough. George points out multiple times that he is content where he is and content to let their children marry for love to people of what Bertha considers middling station. She's the sole driving force for continued social climbing. And it doesn't matter how high they get, she wants to go higher, she wants to go "all the way" but there isn't an all the way unless I guess you're Empress of the World. But then the moon starts looking awfully conquerable.

She claims she's doing it for their children, but both children have said her suggestions aren't what they want. And it is heavily implied she just sold her only daughter to the Duke so he would attend an opera performance. She wants Gladys to marry the Duke so that she will be grandmother to English nobility. It's for her. So she is willing to use her children, her alleged motivation, as pawns. They aren't her real motivation after all, even if she may think they are. I do think she loves her children and George. I also think that she thinks she's helping Gladys, but I also think there's a limit to that love because it exists beside the yawning void of hunger within her psyche. George outright asks her if his love for her is enough to make her happy early in s1, because her love is enough for him. She says it's "almost enough" and that's significant and enough for him, which is telling, when usually any answer other than "yes of course" would be taken by a love interest as a searing betrayal. Anyway, the point is, her kids/her family are, at least, not her entire motivation and might not factor into her motivation at all, if she is fully honest with herself.

So, the hunger. The call to Rise. The rage that has her hyperventilating in bed alone after her failed party instead of crying in her husband's arms like most television characters would do. The instinct to look upon a room of people and think you will all bow to me you sniveling mortals. Why is it there? Like...why is she Like This? I think some of it has to come from what we can learn just from George's comment about impossibly ambitious, ruthless, low empathy Bertha being the only one "worthy of her mother's dreams." Which means her mother had dreams that were very important to her and that she never achieved. Her mother also guarded said dreams and judged her children harshly, we know Bertha has at least one sister, who is apparently judged not worthy in the eyes of her own mother. We know Bertha does not like talking about this and tries to dismiss it. Was there pressure on Bertha to be worthy? When could that have started and how did it manifest? Circling back to my interest in young!Bertha in NY, if the social rejection was bad in s1, it was probably worse then, and constant social failures would have made her angrier and more determined to both to become the queen of New York society and to see it burn. This is all stuff I want to learn more about in season 3.

HERE IS WHERE I PRETTY MUCH JUST DO PREDICTIONS (WHICH MAY BE TINFOIL, IDK):

Because I think we will finally get to see Bertha Russell: Season Villain. Every season needs a villain, and Bertha has pretty much vanquished all of them. The first couple seasons the overarching villain has been New York Society with its inequalities and pointless social cruelty, if that holds, Bertha is now the head of that system, having beaten Lina Astor and set herself up as the queen. Additionally, side opponents (not really villains) like Agnes also aren't in a position to make major problems for the protagonists because the Van Rhijn household is now the Forte household and cinnamon roll Ada is now in charge. Unless Agnes attempts to usurp her sister in a subplot (which I don't think will happen except for maybe one episode of hijinx) she's not in a powerful spot. The Society character is indisputably Bertha. And Bertha has been up to some serious villain shit. If she did agree to marry Gladys to the Duke, she's now against All the Protagonists---a sure sign of villain status. She's even against her husband, who swore to back Gladys in her choice of love match, and Gladys doesn't like the Duke. If Gladys wants out, Larry will almost certainly help her. And Saint Marian will help Larry either for love reasons or moral reasons, and hopefully Peggy has better things to do but she will probably get dragged into it somehow and if Marian's involved Ada's also involved and you see where this is going.

Also, show pacing wise, Bertha is due for a loss. I love her and I want her to win everything and be declared Empress of Earth and Moon but realistically that isn't going to happen. In a show where villains lose, it checks out. Gladys isn't going to marry the Duke, and if she does, everyone is going to regret it. One reason I think we will learn more about Bertha and her history is because if she loses she's going to Lose It. Dramatic monologue style. When she had a party and no one came she swore eternal vengeance and spent the night Angry Breathing and presumably fantasizing about the Red Wedding. She doesn't handle losing well. A big public loss after achieving every status symbol she could think of would probably break her mind, and she'll probably tell whoever she's talking to (probably George) enough backstory info that we the audience can fill in stuff. This is also where I would guess she and George would reconcile where he would see she is the person he loves and has not transformed into an automaton, she's just Messed Up, which he always knew and loved so he is Back In.

IN CONCLUSION:

This is who Marina was writing about. She is a primadonna girl, and all she ever wanted was the world. She cannot help that she needs it all, in this case the primadonna life: both the rise and the fall. She also knows exactly what she wants and who she wants to be. This is why she walks and talks like a machine. Unfortunately, she is becoming a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Oh, oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh.

[slayerdurge]

the brainrot is telling me to do an evil karlach origin play through

[crosswire]

ngl i thought the whole proship/anti thing was behind me until a friend of several years recently reached out to me saying someone showed them something "horrific" i posted online that romanticized sexual assault and boy if i wasn't violently thrown back to 2019-2021 rancid twitter discourse arguing if writing fanfic with consent issues is the same as literal real life rape...anyway i'm pretty sure this friendship is in the process of crashing and burning right now but when i tell y'all that fandom & media morality discourse is everywhere among gen z it really is. this is a nonissue among older friends i have in the community.

[theokusgallery]

I was reminded of that again. Okay if you think having empathy is essential to being a good person I will kill you. With warm thanks from your local zero-empathy haver

[picklesinabottle]

also I much more read penelope's thing with moving the bed as proving to odysseus that he's her husband than proving it to herself

[affectionatecorpse]

It's now about 17 minutes until 3am and insomnia is playing up so instead of, y'know, ACTUALLY trying to sleep, I'm just gonna tiredly ramble again. Hooray!

So anyway I really really wish we'd gotten to see more of Moriarty's personality OUTSIDE of giant evil plans. I understand why they couldn't really do that because- run time- but at the same time, we actually barely know anything about Moriarty as a character. There's two outlets that show us more of his non master plan related personality, and that's the museum scene, and the credits.

You can tell from general reactions that the big bridge plan was NOT a normal thing for Moriarty to do. It was completely new. He left no clues, he gave no time limit, and it really felt more like a grand finale to his game with Sherlock, rather than another day. Like he truly was planning to end their entire streak right there that night. You can even see it in his attitude towards the game in the beginning and end. In the beginning, he's clearly enjoying it, just playing around and having fun with his mass murder attempts. He literally says "you enjoy our little game as much as I do", so he obviously finds it fun. But in the end, the way he says "it's just OVER. And you lose" doesn't sound like fun. It doesn't sound like he's hesitant to put a stop to it whatsoever. He sounds almost impatient to finish it quickly.

But if he really enjoyed it, what changed his attitude so suddenly?

You know what I think the reason for his sudden decision to stop playing completely out of the blue was?

He got scared by his brush with death.

In the recording of him nearly getting crushed by the skeleton, he looked absolutely TERRIFIED. Heavy breathing, eyes darting around, and blatantly unsure how to feel until he saw his phone and got snapped out of his little trance. This wasn't just another day, another loss. He actually could've DIED. He actually got INJURED. And it clearly scared him to know he could've been killed by a GNOME of all things, just on a random day.

Going off my previous post about how desperate he is for attention, possibly due to his naturally lonely design of just being a truck decoration, I wouldn't be surprised if that made him afraid of people forgetting him. Those things usually go together. What if he actually lost? And Sherlock just moved on with his life? What if Sherlock forgot about him and got a new rival? What if no one ever thought about him ever again?

And after such an experience, he did something BIG. Something absolutely no one could forget. A grand finale to his game with Sherlock, ensuring Sherlock wouldn't kill him in the end, and doing an act of mass genocide and destruction so horrific, absolutely no one could possibly forget it. It's the perfect plan, after all.

He's also SO much more angry than normal upon losing this time. When he got found out by Sherlock and Watson in the museum, he really didn't care. He was just happy to see them, and happy that they'd get to fight. He didn't care that they freed the gnomes, he just wanted to play. But when they freed the gnomes from the bridge, he is OUTRAGED. He actually shrieks in reaction, and it's clearly not an act, because you can hear the absolute rage and impatience in his voice, that definitely was not there earlier.

I went on a tangent- but also! In the credits, you really can see what his feelings about the game were before the big plan. It shows him having fun messing with Sherlock, running him about rampant, tricking him at every corner, messing with both him and the cats, just for the fun of it. It shows his more silly and goofy side, and how much he actually did enjoy playing the game while it lasted. I love Credits Moriarty, he's such a little mischievous goober and it's so entertaining to watch asgjkdghd--

If you wanna get extra autistic (which I'm gonna do somehow), you could even see his attitude shift in the post credits scene! It starts with him having a great time, running up and making a mockery of Sherlock, and laughing. Then the magnifying glass falls on him, crushes him, and his tone goes incredibly quiet and serious as he just says "I hate you, Sherlock". Like- isn't that EXACTLY what happened in the film? It was all fun and games until he got crushed by something, then he suddenly turned serious and petty?

I'm sorry I know I'm looking WAYYYYY too much into this silly little kid's film but I'm autistic as fudge and there's literally no content, what do you want me to do here?? STARVE??? Please! Also it's now 2 minutes past 3am--

[overleftdown]

farleigh start and racism; oh boy.

(some people are going to find this post really annoying. some people are like felix catton.)

read this.

just some thoughts from the perspective of a person of color who is slightly too obsessed with this character. this movie leaves the viewer a lot of wiggle room to interpret how dynamics such as race and privilege come into play. there are certain parallels between this movie and the real world, and how unnoticeable white privilege tends to be for white people.

lemme lay some groundwork. from what i understand, the most prevalent form of racism and white privilege within upper- and middle-class circles is implicit bias. this is racist conceptualization that subconsciously interacts with one's perception of society and people. implicit bias is often externalized through microaggressions, differences in treatment and language towards a marginalized person, misplaced guilt or pity, and persistent denial of any existing privilege or marginalization. most of these biases are also founded on stereotypes. some racial stereotypes are heightening (e.g. asians are all smart) and some are lowering (e.g. black people are all lazy). all stereotypes are harmful. i'm going to discuss some of the stereotypes that could theoretically interact within the saltburn canon, as well as some things i've noticed within viewers. can of worms, to be honest. boutta get INTO IT.

to use one of my externalization examples, let's discuss (or, more accurately, let me discuss) the denial of existing privilege or marginalization. this is a subconscious way to uphold a sense of morality, effectively avoiding "white guilt," so to speak. as is clearly presented to us, the cattons are very attached to their methods of upholding their own self-righteousness. saviorism is a common theme within both elspeth and felix. in oliver's conversation with elspeth about poor dear pamela, you can see that oliver recognizes elspeth's need to justify her actions in an attempt to preserve her sense of decency. one can only assume that this applies to how they view farleigh's relationship with them. there's more to talk about there, but i'd like to start with the only overt mention of race in this movie.

in felix's confrontation with farleigh, farleigh makes the bold and brave decision to mention his blackness. i call this brave because it's genuinely a terrifying thing to do, and the end of this conversation is proof. "oh, that is... that is low, farleigh. seriously, that's where you want to take this? make it a race thing? i never know our footman's names; the turnover for a footman is notoriously high!" we have felix's intentional or unintentional shaming of farleigh. we have felix's appalled denial of any involvement of race or racial bias. we have felix's diversion away from farleigh specifically and onto his own inability to know his staff's names. felix made no further attempt to recenter farleigh, aside from telling him that the cattons have "done what they can." (which is SO absurd on its own. they are clearly and obviously able to do more. they are disgustingly rich). farleigh does feel ashamed after felix's response; you can see it on his face, and archie says it directly. here is a relevant and prevalent stereotype for all marginalized people: that the discussion of marginalization is exclusively weaponized to gain something or manipulate a situation. this is how felix chooses to see farleigh's implication of existing white privilege. this conversation results in nothing, does nothing, as felix chooses not to confront what he's probably thinking as he repeats the words "begging bowl" to venetia.

now. saviorism, guilt, and pity. felix specifically tells oliver that sir james made an effort to support farleigh out of guilt. i'd like to order some things in a way that i perceive them. frederica start runs from england, which is explained in a condescending way by felix. frederica start marries a so-referred-to "lunatic" who dug through fred and jame's money, although it's farleigh who only mentions fred's financial irresponsibility. out of guilt, james offers to pay for farleigh's education. the specificity of education is compelling to me. perhaps james is simply a patriotic man who strongly believes that english education is better. or this is a mobilized racial stereotype! who can truly know. i digress. james' offer to pay for farleigh's foreign education puts the cattons in an odd position; if farleigh is to attend english schools, he will need to stay with the cattons. if farleigh is staying with the cattons, he will need to be treated as equal to felix and venetia. this is all one long chain of obligations. none of these acts from one family member to another should be considered "charitable," because family should intrinsically create a trustworthy and supportive dynamic.

i believe that the cattons do consider their fostering of farleigh as obligatory. moral obligation, as they recognize that families are intended to have a sympathetic and loving relationship. they cannot, however, escape the truth that they're just guilty. the "begging bowl" and "biting the hand" are more symbolic of a starving dog and its charitable adopter than a cousin/nephew who's staying with his absurdly rich family. see, the cattons are fully and entirely capable of affording another child, of supporting frederica financially, etc. the only way i can rationalize their reluctance to do so is by assuming that they don't feel like farleigh deserves it. is this a crazy assumption? i genuinely don't see why else. of course, i don't think this mentality is explicit or conscious. it's more-so the reality that when farleigh walks in a room, he's not the same as anybody else. aside from background characters at oxbridge, the only on-screen black people are liam, joshua, and james' godson's wife (who gets degraded on-screen). this is the reality of being different in an environment such as the english aristocracy. the cattons choose to see themselves as the hand that feeds the less fortunate, more entertaining, and least inconvenient. the cattons' inclusion of farleigh is not only reliant on how well farleigh performs, but also on their own pity and guilt.

all of this is somehow, painfully mirrored by some takes i've seen on farleigh. maybe this entire post is presumptuous, but you know what isn't presumptuous? saying that certain people hold farleigh to an incredibly odd standard. while the cattons never canonically said anything along the lines of "farleigh doesn't deserve our love and support," mfs on the internet have. the number of times people have referred to this character as greedy, lazy, petty, and malignant is so odd to me. i'm insane, i know. i just don't understand how people can hold farleigh to the backdrop of an english aristocratic family and so passionately say that he, of all characters, is the most detestable. or that he, of all characters, has no reason to behave in the way he does.

is farleigh greedy? greed is defined as a desire for more. farleigh has no desire to climb ranks, no desire to replace or surpass felix, no desire to hold any power over any family member. he is maintaining, upholding a standard that has been set for him throughout his life. is it kind or selfless of him to meddle in other people's affairs with the cattons? no. does he have a reason to be upset that non-relatives of the cattons are a threat to his inclusion in the first place? yes. is farleigh lazy? i don't even need to explain this one. no. if you don't consider oliver lazy, then i really don't want to hear anything. is farleigh petty? pettiness is defined as "an undue concern for trivial matters, especially in a small-minded or spiteful way." farleigh's meticulous attention to trivial matters isn't undue in any sense. a person of color and their meticulous attention to trivial matters is almost never undue. elspeth is a good example of petty. is farleigh malignant? there are a lot of definitions of malignant and i've seen people apply all of them, in some way, to farleigh. that's just wrong. archie madekwe once said, "i was interested in humanizing what, on paper, seemed like a mean character, a villain, or a bully. i don't think he's any of that. he's very self-serving, but i think he's really a heartbreaking character." case closed, this was for my own piece of mind. had to write this section because good lord.

in conclusion to this post that has gone tragically off the rails, i think the in-canon and viewer perspective of farleigh is, perhaps, a little racially motivated. sue me. they are all very centered on this idea that farleigh doesn't deserve inherent respect, support, and love. to remove farleigh's rational position within the cattons family would be akin to removing his right to familial love. genuinely, that's how i see it. the transaction nature of farleigh's actions is responsive. he sees felix as a social shield at oxbridge, he sees elspeth and james as the beholders of his perceived security, and he sees saltburn as a way to escape from his lack of privilege and his lack of stability in america. boom. bam. pow.

[geeky-nightphilosopher]

🦇Batfamily🦇

Duke: *Walks by Damian* Why are you smiling?

Damian: Can't I smile?

Duke: No. It's creepy... what do you have to be happy about?

[beforetimes]

tbh i think after logan resets the past at the end of days of future past and wakes up in this timeline that's better than he could ever imagine it'd be very hard for it to settle in his mind that this is real and he gets to keep it.

like, after decades of living in a dystopian hell he's not going to wake up in seemingly in paradise without having some sort of ptsd or residual nightmares from before where all his friends died horrible deaths that he couldn't stop. i feel like to him, scott and jean would feel more like ghosts than people for a good while because if we're operating under the assumption that days of future past happened in the same timeline that the original trilogy happened in, it would've been about half a century since logan had last seen the two of them alive and well. i feel like to him it would be similar to knowing you're dreaming and waiting for the other shoe to drop the whole way through.

and then after that there's the fact that he has no idea who he is in this timeline now—that's what i feel was implied, anyway, with how he woke up years in the future and couldn't remember anything past 1973. but he still has relationships built up with the people there and he's an entirely different logan than the one who woke up in his place. so i feel there would be some fumbling there as well, to figure out those relationship dynamics again. unless you just want to assume that things went about the same as the og trilogy minus the plot of the last stand.

idk! i feel logan wouldn't bounce back as fast as it seems he would. think he would have nightmares and be overly-wary and always feel like he's on the cusp of losing this too good to be true world he's stepped into. but i also feel he would soften some of his rougher edges—in the og trilogy he seems more like a flight-risk than anything, still bouncing from place to place and coming back to the x-mansion for a few people, but here he would stay for more than just jean and rogue—clings on for all the kids he couldn't save the first time and the allies who became close friends over the course of them living out that first dystopian future only he remembers. just thinking out loud