#I’ve thought about it too much

[thaltro]

Will your nightwatch au have any reimagining of how determination works, especially when it’s mixed with positivity, negativity, or void? Does it invert negativity/positivity by creating hope in despair and discontentment in happiness? Is it a force that resists the will of the creators/narrative (pro free will) or enforces it (anti free will)? If determination is amplified by the presence of negativity in order to ensure survival, can a determined character with negativity-based powers (not to assume what other ship kids may appear in the au or anything) with enough negativity going through their system doom spiral until the determination is tearing them apart at the seams?

(I have uh, been thinking about the logistics of this since mid 2018 don’t mind me)

Yes kinda - I’ll explain rn I medicalize a lot of concepts. I’ll also explain it inside the comic but here’s some minor stuff:

The main medical condition I focus on is “corruption”

In nightwatch, monsters bodies are incredibly vulnerable to foreign code. The most common example of this is getting sick, a monster absorbs a small viral bit of code, their body is overwhelmed and get symptoms of sickness, and eventually their body deals with the minor illness and everything is fine. But sometimes code changes can be too potent for a monster, creating chronic and sometimes terminal syndromes. This is what is called corruption.

Here are the three known corruptions (they are umbrella diagnoses)

Substance corruption:

substance corruption is the most common, (think nightmare and geno)

A potent substance that shouldn’t be within a monster gets in a monster and overwhelms their code permanently. This is a big category holding many different syndromes but the one thing in common is their physical form literally breaking down.

Some examples could be monsters having human soul substance injected into them, wether it be kindness or determination their bodies will be corroded slowly from the overwhelming code substance. Nightmare eating the apples count too, it’s code being too potent and quickly destroying his entire body.

This can be slowed down with treatment, reversion therapy is one but substance blockers are an alternative.

Void corruption:

Void corruption is rare, (think error, blue error, or fatal error)

When a entity is exposed to the Voids for too long, they may go through a slow process of void corruption. starting with sickness, then symptoms of confusion and amnesia, and lastly physical changes. The most identifiable trait is their final physical appearance, changes in color, additional limbs, open code numbers on anatomy, and glitching.

Their code gets randomized, new traits are gained and old traits are lost. Chronic pain, paranoia, hallucinations, delusional obsessions, and emotional instability are all caused by the distortion of their mind (and isolation of the void)

Treatment is difficult as a majority of patients show hostility to medical intervention. However reversion therapy is theorized to be affective for treating the patients.

Passive corruption:

Passive corruption is less common then substance but more common then void (think cross and killer)

When a conscious entity purposely changes another’s code. The victim goes through periods where they loose autonomy to the entity’s influence. The symptoms vary because it’s up to the foreign entity’s desire but it’s possible to see a change in voice, physical appearance, mental stability, and magical capabilities within the victim. The most well known example in the fandom is overwriting someone, but killer being controlled and reworked by the player is also passive corruption.

Reversion therapy and substance blockers work affectively as treatment.

Additional notes:

A monster can inhibit more then one category. For example, killer while gaining the substance of determination through passive corruption, would technically have both substance corruption and passive corruption.

This is a huge concept in nightwatch. There’s many additional elements like the specific affects of human soul substance, but i fear that would be too much of a rant from me.

Human traits are a medical thing in nightwatch, monsters cannot naturally have human substance, but can gain it through corruption. It’s not a trait of personality or belief or emotion.

It would be difficult to quantify and explain how human traits connect with feelings even within humans themselves, all systems I’ve seen do that don’t really make sense to me (cough glitchtale) so I made it a medical thingy. I’m not too sure if this is the answer you wanted but I tried.

[completeoveranalysis]

[3]

Oh! Yes ok, confirmed: the items are being stored for future usage. Or perhaps even just one future usage, on The Big Future day? Trade them all in for a good result maybe?

OH and we can see the Mokona cases! The two little glass domes to Yuuko’s left are what the Mokonas were stored in at the start of the series. That’s a fun touch. 

…?!?!?

AHHH???

AHHHHHHH WHAAAAAAAAAAT

HELLO FULL BREAKDOWN MODE WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT

OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK

So Yuuko is talking about the time very very early on (volume 1 even?) when Watanuki found the Clow Staff in storage, which she explained even then was just a replica - and apparently that’s still true, but Yuuko has THE ACTUAL

THE REAL

THE GENUINE WAND USED BY CARDCAPTOR SAKURA IN HER STORE?

LIKE

LIKE

YOU SEE?? YOU SEE WHAT THEY'RE DOING TO ME?!?!?!

I am going completely off the rails in my own brain here but oh my goodness. Crossover event of the century. Sakura left her actual staff here in exchange for a wish. 

You can see AGAIN how Clamp are always always shining a spotlight on the suggestion that 'Cardcaptor Sakura might be the mother of Lava Lamp and Watanuki' even if some of the details don’t quite match up. Like, Yuuko said that she had never actually met Lava Lamp’s parents, and yet she has Cardcaptor Sakura’s staff. I suppose she doesn’t directly say that she met Cardcaptor Sakura, and the staff could have been left here by other means - or both statements are true, and Cardcaptor Sakura just isn’t related to Lava Lamp and Watanuki. 

I am going to be completely consumed by this mystery until they finally give the real answer because they’re so careful with how vague it is every single time. AND THEY DO IT ON PURPOSE FOR THIS EXACT REASON.

[anna-scribbles]

last one i promise(<—lie)

[arcane-gold]

academy days

[bloobydabloob]

Holy shit I love your Dirk interpretations, it's so true and I could talk about this shit forever. I feel like another part of his character that people seem to forget (along with Roxy for some reason) is that he's from the future in solitude in an apocalyptic wasteland. I just see that part of his character always removed which is disappointing because I feel like that's a pretty big part, especially regarding his themes around technology, his brother's theme of Time, his own isolation, and how he plays in the vastness of the universe and spacetime.

Art I drew related to the subject because I like to respond to asks with art.

But absolutely. I certainly understand where the lack of discussion over his isolation + upbringing comes from, considering a majority of the fanbase that I have seen builds their ideas based on their own version of postcanon. I’m not entirely sure how that would be fixed, but certainly even in the somewhat recent past I would see a lot more content regarding his upbringing both literally and symbolically. I don’t have much to add regarding the things you’ve mentioned, because they just are what they are. Dirk being confined to a singular room left to him by a father figure he never met, in a future where the only other person left on the planet is someone he cannot pursue a relationship of because of himself, with purely 3 robots to keep him companion, one being an exact replica of his own brain who is *also* trapped inside a pair of glasses, is about as literal as it gets to me.

The contrast to me involving the flooded, organic world in comparison to the little speckle of Dirk’s apartment packed with the dude and his technics is not only a representation of his isolation and entrapment within himself, but also of his lack of control. I think his obsession with & themes of control are a direct product in the case of Dirk specifically *of* this kind of upbringing. His themes of technology are also related to his themes around control. So much of his character is actually revolved around this to me like so much. Dirk is so deeply disconnected from humanity in every way and so much of his character + symbolism is based around that.

It doesn’t even have to be about the symbolism or anything though. It’s just pretty *interesting* in the literal sense that he lives in the middle of the ocean in the future. There’s not only a lot to theorise on to do with his young life there, but on how it might affect him in the way he acts for the rest of his life. The latter part is probably what I see mentioned the most by people talking about Dirk regarding this, I’m surprised I don’t see more discussion on the former too though. I really ought to actually talk more about Homestuck stuff on here. I will do it myself.

Roxy & Dirk’s relationship is largely ignored though because there is a narrative a certain demographic spreads that Dirk resented and blamed Roxy for her interest in him, and thus too many people believe that their relationship was or would continue to be an abusive one. Realistically, I believe it’s important to acknowledge that the way Roxy treated Dirk regarding his homosexuality wasn’t right while still acknowledging the obvious amount of respect and admiration Dirk had for Roxy. I mean we have a huge piece of dialogue from their post trickster mode conversations on the quest beds from Dirk purely stating how he feels about Roxy that people completely ignore somehow. I think this usually happens to characters that are women though. I know everyone says it, but it is true. Jane gets the exact same treatment of boiling her down to solely her negative aspects. The things I see completely mischaracterising both of them are horrific.

I mean how much more explicit can it get that their relationship is obviously very important to Dirk? But I digress. I think the best or I should say “most interesting” interpretations of their relationship usually come from DirkRoxy shippers actually.

I would be interested to hear about Dirk’s relation to his brother’s theme of time though. I don’t have any thoughts on this and I don’t recall ever hearing anyone talk about it before. If you or anyone else would be willing to enlighten me I’d be thrilled.

[hootyhoowoo]

A little 15 min doodle but first post of the year has to be Bingqiu!

[lunarlivs]

after leaving school harry starts journaling, here’s august -99

some closeups bc my handwriring is tiny sorry

[beannoss]

Something I think about a lot and wonder if maybe gets overlooked in Twilight’s story and as vitally indicative of his character is actually in the very first chapter:

Anya isn’t needed for Strix. Twilight decides to adopt her anyway.

[Spoiler warning: Mostly this post deals with early chapters already in the anime but there is reference to chapter 62, which has not yet been animated and will be in season 3]

Twilight decides it — “I’m going to rework the mission so it doesn’t involve a child because that’s too dangerous” and he’s 100% right! Donovan Desmond is canonically a far right warmonger with fascistic authoritarian aims. His government made liberal use of the SSS — a group to mirror the Stasi — who continue to operate in morally dubious ways (much more likely they’re actively morally reprehensible, though we’ve mostly only had rumours of that so far). From what we can tell, Desmond is at best an absent father and likely actually worse than that: if that's how he treats his own children, imagine how he might treat others. And the timeline seems to indicate that the experimentation performed on Anya was done under Desmond's government — even if Twilight isn't aware of experimentation on children, he is aware of both human and animal experimentation under Desmond's government. Taking all that and also the complexity of Strix's aims, undoubtedly there were other things that could be done, more straightforward if not necessarily easier.

So. Why? Why entertain the change at all? And then, having entertained it, why go back when the reasoning is indisputable?

On the Doylist level, I think Endo wanted to ensure that Anya had some agency within the set up — Endo also does this with Yor. It would be much harder to be on Twilight’s side fully, or to trust him on an ethical level/take him as any sort of moral authority, if he were just straightforwardly using these two people. To have them be active and consenting participants (arguably to actually be affirming the arrangement: Twilight sets it up, but Anya and Yor actually make it happen) even if the audience only knows the depth of their knowledge/motivations/etc currently, shifts the power dynamic in important ways.

But it also the set up tells us important things about Twilight. He is largely impatient, cold, detached in chapter one. His overarching feelings towards Anya are, I think, real annoyance, real confusion, and real impatience. He just doesn’t understand this damn kid and it turns out she’s a person which is frankly unacceptable — he’d needed and anticipated an automaton, ideally of himself in miniature form. (Though I think one could ponder whether Twilight was, in many ways, an automaton himself at this point, but that's maybe for another meta 🙃)

He’s not entirely unmoved of course — we're given to understand he’s affected when Franky tells him how many times Anya’s been adopted and returned, and isn't amused by Franky's joke about names. Franky's comment — "Just don't get attached" — reinforces this. The prospect of “the future” perturbs Twilight when he’s reading the parenting books. His initial reaction to Anya’s kidnap is horror. All these are true too.

Then there’s also this, from earlier in the chapter:

It’s exposition, yeah, and it’s also exposing. "Hopes" and "joys" are very specific words to describe those events. It could simply have been "A marriage? An ordinary life?" but describing them as such — hope for marriage; joy in ordinary life — expose something of what Twilight feels about those two experiences and, on the flipside, they expose what he deems he's lacking. No hopes of intimacy; no joy in (an ordinary) life. There's an argument as well, of course, that he's being ironic but I don't think that actually invalidates the above analysis. Drawing attention to 'hope' and 'joy' at all are revealing, regardless of Twilight's tone in thinking of them. I think it's also interesting this panel, taken in conjunction with a pair of panels in chapter 62, Twilight's backstory. The above is almost a pulled out version of this below panel of Twilight's recollection of his childhood, and of course the returning image of not just a rubbish bin but a rubbish bin on fire when it comes to disposing of his identity:

Back to Strix. Both his final interaction with Karen and the whole everything of the framing of Strix is making Twilight think (and feel, ahem) things that he hasn't for some time. Twilight decides, I’m reworking this. It can’t proceed this way. Not because Anya is a pain in his ass, not because she’s not as (apparently) intellectually advanced as he’d originally thought, not even because he thinks he can find another child who would better be exactly what mission parameters called for. No:

And what changes his mind is Anya asking to come home.

One of the important parts of this to me is this:

He seeks consent.

This moment is a keystone, I think, to understanding Twilight. It’s also more telling than he maybe realises. Twilight is decisive — we all laugh because he spirals at the drop of a hat when his daughter or wife look even mildly upset but outside those (also very telling) scenarios, he makes decisions and he pursues them. Often he makes decisions quickly. He’s a dab hand at it; it’s a large part of why he’s as good a spy as he is.

He’d decided to change Strix.

Anya asks him, in essence, not to.

So, he doesn't.

But it's wild that he entertains keeping her request at all — why? Why even entertain it? It’s dangerous; it’s impractical; there are too many moving parts outside his direct control; Anya isn’t the sort of child he’d wanted for the mission if he’d spent any time thinking about what a child might actually be like; Strix is in many ways an extremely long shot anyway, Desmond could just stop attending for reasons unknown and unrelated; etc.

So, yeah, why? Maybe because of this —

In conjunction, I often think of this moment in the cruise arc:

Twilight first naming the feeling as lonesome, and secondly tacitly conceding that he perceives Yor as a companion and that that relationship is important to him, something to be missed. What makes this for me though is that Anya calls this out "Papa's you're so sappy" and Twilight's reaction is that of someone caught-out. He doesn’t say “nuh-uh!” but he may as well have. Essentially, something landed a bit close to home, hm? Maybe some of that hope for marriage? A soupçon of joy of an ordinary life?

Twilight’s loneliness underpins many of his decisions with his family — probably without him being fully conscious of it. I think he is at least somewhat conscious of it, but also if he looks too closely... Well, best not to. I could fill this post, I think, with images that demonstrate his loneliness throughout the series; that sorrowful/pensive close-up of his eye(s) is one of the abiding motifs for Twilight throughout. I'd probably start with this one from Twilight's backstory arc:

Anya's request plays directly off his loneliness. Still though, he doesn’t immediately capitulate — he emphasises Anya’s choice. Is she sure? The last day has been scary for a child (and for him, but he's ignoring that part) and Twilight, in his increasing recognition that Anya is a person, is probably aware in the back of his mind that he hasn’t exactly been warm or welcoming or at all patient with her. Things that people respond to — he's otherwise excellent at manipulating people, so of course he understands this. So. Given she'd just had this scary experience, given he hasn't exactly been great with her: Is she sure? She wants to come home — with him?

I think the moment may get a little lost because Anya says something riffing off his own earlier thoughts and self-revelation (featuring that shadowed, lonely eye motif again!)

Were this a post about Anya, I’d talk about how it’s an important character moment for her as well by way both of demonstrating her agency/choice and also that she isn’t nearly as dumb as Twilight thinks (and the audience, maybe, also thinks).

But in my view, she didn’t actually need to say anything about it making her cry. I think she could simply have said yes in that moment and Twilight would have agreed.

Twilight’s an unreliable narrator; he’s disconnected from his heart and that shrouds his own motivations from himself — something he actually also concedes in this chapter!

And it shrouds from us just how much he actually understands himself. He’s also a master of deflection. Easy to assume or say that bringing Anya home is just to align with Strix. Nothing more to see here; nothing else going on. But also that ripping off of the mask in the panel above — and the literal 'riiip' sound effects — also indicate to us that this is an unveiling to himself.

In my view, Twilight agreeing to Anya's request, deciding to go back to original mission parameters, actually shifts his motivations, subtly. Now he’s committed not only to the original mission goals, but also to Anya. He needs Anya to succeed at Strix, not only for Strix's sake, but also because otherwise the mission will end and she’ll have to go back to the orphanage, and he’s just agreed with her not to do that (not right away, in any case). I don’t think at this point he’s thinking it’s forever — his thoughts throughout the manga indicate he still expects the Forgers to be temporary. I don't think the shift in motivation is necessarily even conscious, but given the set up, I think something inside Twilight recognises that agreeing to bring Anya home is a compact, jointly engaged. Mostly all this has become subsumed into Strix: he makes decisions. He pursues them. He deflects, even from himself. Of course it's just for the mission; this saved him the trouble of reworking it, of figuring out something else. Nothing more to see; no need to think any more on it. And to be fair to him, Strix is very high stakes, resting pretty solely on his shoulders, so of course that is, objectively, motivation enough. Why even consider beyond that?

But I personally think that to the extent he's aware of it at all, there is something else going on, that he wants to have Anya for as long as it takes him to work something else out for her. If that's the case, then of course, we have Occam’s razor: the simplest solution may be the best one.

Maybe Twilight should just keep Anya himself, eh?

[Image description: gif from Spy x Family season 1, episode 1. Twilight and Anya have just found out Anya passed her entrance exam and are overjoyed. Celebratory, Twilight picks Anya up and swoops her into the air as they smile at one another. End image description]

[caffeiiine]

kunikidas ideals have the potential to be self destructive and kunikida can be considered passively suicidal, he is also not the polite and respectful man fanon makes him out to be- *gets shot*

[kitamars]

so i’ve been cooking up a little au :3

[a-stars-art-blog]

Finished the wips from yesterday

[aimervee]

idk if its alright to barge into your askbox like this but i just wanted to say that your art is one of my many inspirations because there is a certain feeling to it that feels like 'home', in a way. some sort of comfort thats just really nice overall. piper and clementine are also one of my favs of all time and i have many thoughts about them.. anyways sorry again and have a good day/afternoon/evening

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 WHAT THE HECK THIS IS SO SWEET… THANK YOU… (muffled crying noises)

little doodle for you! <3 seriously, please barge in my askbox whenever you’d like! reading stuff like this always makes my day ;_; I’m smiling like such a dork right now; hearing that my art feels like ‘home’ is the absolute biggest compliment I ever could’ve received and I’ll be carrying that compliment with me forever adsjfdsj

[frogaroundandfindout]

I used to give the 'lazarus pit madness' trope for jason so much shit unless it was a REALLY good fic that did something interesting with the idea. But the more I read of pre52 red hood the more I'm just like "yeah no I have absolutely no idea how I'd reconcile all this heinous shit he's done without finding a way to make it not his fault actually"

I hate the 'jason was always a monster and bruce couldn't save him' nonsense so much, he was literally just a homeless little boy. MY BUDDY LITERALLY WILLINGLY WENT BACK TO BEING HOMELESS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT TO HURT PEOPLE FOR MA GUNN EVEN THOUGH IT MEANT GIVING UP FOOD AND SHELTER AND DECENT TREATMENT

jason sweetheart I'm so sorry dc butchered you like this my god

When the characterization is so inconsistent the fandom has to resort to literal magic to explain it.

But seriously, I haven’t read a whole lot of Jason as Robin but from what I did read he was so tiny and just wanted to do good. It’s a disservice to every character involved for Bruce to adopt him because he thought he’d be a criminal otherwise. It implies Bruce thinks of every kid living in poverty as a shoe in for crime and not as some of the most vulnerable individuals in low SE areas. Which is just…so bad considering he’s 1) a rich white man stereotyping a large group of people and 2) someone that fights crime because of an act of violence commited in front of him as a little boy. A Batman that doesn’t believe in the goodness of a child (especially one like Jason who, like you said, gave up basic necessities for the sake of his morals) and protecting it in a way he wasn’t protected is a very very weird Batman to me. So it turns Bruce into a white knight and redhood into confirmation of Bruce’s stereotyping and paranoia.

If it was just Jason thinking that’s why Bruce took him in it would be a completely different animal. I might have even enjoyed reading about how Jason rationalized their changed relationship after he came back swinging (literally) and thinking that it’s some innate characteristic about him that drove the wedge between him and Bruce before he even realized it was there. But it’s very much not just Jason. EVERYONE. FUCKING. SAYS. IT. And tbh that kinda ruins everyone just a bit in my eyes. If not agreement and support for Bruce’s bs, they’re at least silently complicit in perpetuating it.

But beyond that, it also makes me think of Devin Grayson’s run where she kept talking about how dick was “meant for crime” or would have obviously been a criminal if it wasn’t for Bruce. This was built on frankly awful stereotypes regarding Romani people. I bring this one up because the combination of the two does not make Bruce look as good as the writers seemed to think.

But if we ignore the bs involved and take the reason for Jason’s adoption at face value, I think it offers an interesting comparison between him and Damian. Jason is presented a child destined for a life of crime who eventually became one of The Villains despite Batman’s efforts. Damian was an heir destined for crime who eventually became one of The Heroes because of Batman’s efforts. Idk it’s just interesting to me.

[redfirefox-55]

I’ve done a bit of complaining lately, but one must adapt and and overcome

Unfortunately due to recent situations involving the user

@/hmrgarita on Pinterest (I KNOW you go through the Nine Sols tag on tumblr)

All my artworks will be posted like this from now on, with my lovely username covering at least 30% of the picture, at least until they take down the drawings of mine they reposted, without my permission or even credit, like I requested THREE times.

Also while I am here, if you have drawn fanart for Nine Sols and care about your art being reposted, please be aware that this person hasn’t only reposted my artwork, but LOTS of artwork I’ve seen on the Nine Sols tag on tumblr. Like, so so much. I advise looking up their account on Pinterest and checking to see if they’ve reposted your work, and reporting them if you’re able.

[asherasgayagenda]

here’s mine

[medi-bee]

isat pokemon au, my liege?

my rambling in tags