#I’ve pondered this for like a week... :’D

[margareth-lv]

⛓️ When art and life become one ⛓️

I believe fairy tales have a great deal of therapeutic power. And there's nothing quite like a good story.

As I’ve written here a few times before, I first started watching Outlander in 2020 – a challenging year for us all. At that time, we all needed a good story to take our minds off reality. And to move into the catharsis that art offers. You can imagine my excitement when I realised that two actors (who were so obviously in love) playing the characters in the story were born around the same time as the characters they were playing.

James Alexander Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser, born on 1 May. Sam Roland Heughan, born on 30 April. Both Taurus, just like me. Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser, born on 20 October. Caitríona Mary Balfe, born on 4 October. Both Libra.

And, as you might expect, in both the play and real life, she is older than he is. Isn't it wonderful how things just fall into place sometimes? There’s always something to ponder, think about and enjoy.

But it's been a while since we've seen joy in "enjoy." The Taylor Swift concert is the exception that proves the rule, here.

I'm getting tired of the low-level storytelling we've been presented with for a while now. This story is the worst of the worst. It’s a pretty poor selection of C, D, and E cinema.

And it's pretty sad how two people, who literally built their relative public recognisability on being the 'hottest couple on the screen', are now pathetically role-playing their supposed 'real love lives'. And neither of them succeeds. They're also pretty weak actors in their roles of romantic lovers (I'm thinking mainly of Sam here). Let me just say that they're not pathetic only when they're together. *** *** *** When I saw the blurry, embarrassing footage from this weekend's Giorgio Armani Tennis Classic (tagged #ad on Sam's Instagram), my first thought was that it was a spectacle for us, our Tumblr fandom. There's no one else who would be interested in something you have to look for with a magnifying glass, zooming in, spending long minutes stopping frames of film. Then I got reminded about the Wimbledon Tennis Championships back in July 2019 and another poor performances by 'bride' and her 'groom' a month before their 'wedding'.

Do you remember those pictures?

First wife, second wife, Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser and Laoghaire MacKenzie, I mean, Evie Greenwood, a primary teacher.

You know, realism and art all blend together.

We first saw this kind of kissing being reduced to sucking on the partner's upper lip in what we were forced to think was Sam’s ‘real life’, and then we saw the same thing on screen.

And what about Sam's somewhat embarrassing performance in The Couple Next Door? Which other actor in that film has exposed themselves so much (and so pointlessly), in a literal sense?

How many of us thought Sam's performance in the erotic scenes in TCND was not sexy at all, but disgusting?

I did.

Wasn't that display of Sam's rhythmically moving buttocks as distasteful as his other performance a few weeks ago?

Seriously, I would never want my husband/partner/father of my children to behave like this. There's no money worth it. But maybe there is.

Sometimes I feel sorry for them, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I remind myself of how jealous Cait can be.

How on earth do they manage to live like that?

[3 July, 2024]

[stanchett]

Hi! I saw your post asking for prompts, so here's one for you, if you'd like. ☺️

Out of all of Nevermore's traditions, Larissa disliked Staff Bonding Nights the most. She preferred to drink her wine alone in her office instead of in a loud bar, thank you very much. But thanks to the new addition to the staff, maybe this time it wouldn't be that bad of an evening...

Here you go!! Thanks for the request, I hope you enjoy!!! :)

I owe a massive thank-you to @pro-weems-places for editing this for me, it was written at 1am and required much revision.

Black and White

Warnings: NSFW, alcohol use

Word count: 3.4k+

Your laptop screen glowed a bright white in your dark bedroom, the seemingly endless stream of emails welcoming you to the Nevermore staff taking up the open tab. The most recent one caught your attention the moment you read the subject line, “Staff Bonding Night at the Weathervane”, written in bold black letters. 

“That could be fun, I suppose...” you pondered to yourself while scrolling through Netflix for something to watch. 

Normally, you were more of an introvert, but you were determined to come out of your shell a bit in light of your new position at the school. You turned in for the night, shutting your laptop and curling up in bed with a nature documentary, unaware of what the following evening would bring.

--------

The next morning was a bit of a drag as you roamed the hallways of the school, nearly getting lost (again) as it was only your second week. It was still early, about an hour before your class was supposed to start. Rounding a corner, you almost run head-first into Larissa Weems, the stunning principal you’d hardly stopped thinking about since meeting upon your hiring. She gasped in surprise and stepped back from you, clutching her chest while she caught her breath.

“Oh Principal Weems, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you coming-” you apologized, but a quick wave of her hand dismissed your apology. 

“It’s quite alright, Ms. Y/L/N. Are you lost? You seem a bit turned around.” You blushed at the realization that you definitely were, and nodded in confirmation to her question. 

“Walk with me darling, I’ll show you the way from here,” Larissa offered, and you gratefully accepted. Keeping in stride and making small talk was easy with her, she was so sweet and polite. You wondered if you would see her that evening at the staff gathering. 

“Hey, will you be at the Weathervane tonight? How do those events usually go?” 

Larissa rolled her eyes with a sigh, “Oh yes, that.. I myself am not normally in attendance, but I’ve heard they can be quite fun, according to other staff members. I much prefer my study and a glass of red personally, but to each their own.” 

Your heart sank a bit at her admission, but you tried not to look too defeated. “Why don’t you give it another shot? After all, I’ll be there..” you said in a mock-suggestive tone, secretly hoping she would realize you meant it in a way that wasn’t entirely a joke. 

Just as you delivered your makeshift pickup line, the two of you arrived at your classroom. You stopped at the door and leaned against it with your arms crossed, looking up at Larissa with a challenging look, “What do you think?” 

She chuckled and looked away from you - was she getting flustered? Clearing her throat, she stated, “I’ll think about it. Enjoy your class this morning, Y/N.” And with that, she headed back to her office. You watched her leave for a moment and smiled to yourself, then removed the keys to your room from your pocket. If she decided to show up tonight, you would make sure she had a great time.

By 5 o-clock that evening, you found yourself rushing around to finish getting ready, hopping out of the hot shower to throw on a button-down and some slacks. Leaving a few buttons undone in hopes you would catch the principal’s attention, you put on some light makeup and headed out the door. You hoped beyond hope that Larissa had made up her mind and decided to show. 

After a short drive down the winding road, you parked outside the café and noticed the inside had been completely revamped to reflect a vibe similar to a nightclub of sorts; the tables had been pushed to the edges of the space or removed altogether to make room for a makeshift dance floor, and the overhead lights dimly lit the room in a variety of colors. “Maybe this’ll be more fun than I thought...” you whispered to yourself, glancing in the mirror of your sun visor to double check your makeup before leaving your car. 

--------

Swinging the front door open, you were immediately greeted by a chorus of hellos from the handful of staff members already inside enjoying themselves, the low hum of dance music hitting your eardrums. 

“Y/N! I’m so happy you showed up! Welcome to our little annual bonding tradition,” Ms. Thornhill exclaimed, quickly looping her arm through yours to guide you to the counter. “Would you like a drink? There’s a full bar and a table of snacks over in the corner, too. You’re welcome to them!”

You smiled your thanks in return, and she patted your back before rejoining a group of teachers by the door. She seemed like the excitable type, which you weren’t really into, but she made you feel included nonetheless and for that you were grateful. 

Peeking past the counter, you spotted Coach Vlad preparing a few drinks. He handed them out, then headed your way with a grin.

“Hey, fresh blood! I’m so glad to see you! What’ll you be having?” 

You thought for a moment before deciding, “Just a Jack and coke for me, Coach. I’m glad I could make it. This place moonlights as a club for you guys, huh?” You jest, leaning on the counter, eager for something to take the edge off your remaining nerves. 

“Oh yeah, the Nevermore staff really knows how to get down,” he joked, gesturing to the dead crowd before you both, all chatting away. He handed you the drink and you took a swig. Strong stuff. You wondered where Larissa could be. Would she really decline your ever-so-convincing offer? 

“I guess Weems doesn’t really ‘get down’ much, does she?” You asked him. His hands were already busy with prepping another drink. 

“Not these days. She hardly shows her face at these events. Not really her style, I gather.” He wandered to the other side of the counter to take some more orders. You took another sip and pulled out your phone, suddenly feeling out of place without someone to really talk to. 

While you were mindlessly scrolling through your social media apps, the group of teachers suddenly went silent, quietly muttering to each other as opposed to the loud conversations they were just having. You look past them and see a flash of silver brush past one of the windows. Was that..?

The front door eased open and you swore you had never seen anyone more beautiful - in walked Larissa, adorned in a silver dress and white elbow-length gloves, her hair done up perfectly. 

Your jaw dropped to the floor and you struggled to keep from staring. She caught your eyes roaming up her figure and strutted her way over to you, politely greeting everyone along the way. It was at that moment you realized the alcohol was starting to hit you, giving you more confidence than you normally possessed. 

Setting your drink aside, you attempted to lean coolly on the counter behind you as she approached. “Fancy meeting you here,” you teased when she reached you, her gloved hand coming to rest on the marble surface next to you, effectively trapping you beside her.

“I suppose I could say the same..” she said, her eyes openly sweeping over you, momentarily coming to rest at your slightly revealing choice of clothing before flicking away to Vlad who was still wearing a look of surprise on his face at her appearance. 

“I’ll have a red, Coach,” she said all too smoothly. Grabbing the wine bottle, he poured her drink with a nod. Her gaze turned back to you, her eyes glistening under the multicolored lights as she regarded you. 

Leaning in, she said in a low voice, “You sure clean up well, Ms. Y/L/N.” 

You were momentarily grateful for the low lighting, positive it hid the blush that quickly rose to your cheeks and shiver down your spine. But you feigned shock at her words, putting a hand to your chest as you retorted, “Principal Weems, are you flirting with me?” 

She raised an eyebrow and elegantly turned to accept her drink, looking you dead in the eye as she took a long sip. You felt a searing heat gather in your lower abdomen. God, this woman is stunning, you thought to yourself. 

“It’s possible,” was all she said. 

There was a sudden clap sounding from the center of the room, an attempt from Thornhill to command everyone’s attention. “Alright everyone, partner up! Let’s get a little dancing in, shall we?” She said with a grin. 

A collective groan passed through the room and she jogged over to you, a huge smile still plastered on her face. “Would you care to join me? It’s your first time here, you have to give it a shot at least!” 

You would feel bad turning her down, so you jokingly rolled your eyes and agreed, Larissa watching your reaction the entire time. She tried to hide her amusement but she was looking forward to this. You swallow the rest of your drink and let Marilyn lead you out onto the dance floor. 

Someone cranked the music up a little higher and you quickly found yourself swaying to the beat, the alcohol in your system doing its job. You were grateful several others ended up taking her up on the offer as well, all of you dancing together to the rhythm. You closed your eyes and lost yourself to the music for a moment, your hips working on their own to keep time with everyone else. Maybe Nevermore really did know how to get down. 

You opened your eyes to see Larissa staring you down from her spot at the bar, her eyes raking over your body while you danced. Without thinking, you reached a hand out to her, wiggling your fingers in the air as a silent signal for her to join you. Tossing the remainder of her wine down her throat, she placed down the glass and stalked over to you, her eyes never leaving yours. She came to stand in front of you, and you boldly placed your hands on her hips. You looked up to catch her eye and confirm that this is alright with her, her only response a sly smirk and a glint of mischief in her eye. 

She began moving her body to the beat in time with you, and you released your hold on her to raise your hands above your head, losing yourself to the music once more. She closely watched your every move, almost hypnotized, like you’d put a spell on her. You turned your back to her and threw her a glance over your shoulder. That was all the invitation she needed. 

Placing her hands on your hips instead, she pulled you against her front for a moment, and you gasped at the contact and her forwardness. You deliberately moved your hips more seductively against her, your intentions becoming infinitely more clear. You knew you couldn’t keep this up in front of your co-workers, so you turned to face her once again as the song ended, tossing your head back with a throaty laugh. 

You looked up to find her smiling down at you, that hint of something more never leaving her glare. You crooked a finger to beckon her down to you, and she quickly leaned down to catch your whisper. “Do you wanna get out of here?” It sounded so cliche, you knew, but in that moment your arousal was almost unbearable. Straightening up again, she nodded in agreement and even in the dim light you swore you saw her cheeks redden. You bit your lip and jerked your head in the direction of the door. 

Waving your goodbyes to everyone in attendance, you passed off the excuse to Thornhill that you were too tipsy to drive in an attempt to avoid suspicion and practically darted out the door, Larissa hot on your heels. Hopping in the passenger side of the school’s van, you waited while the principal buckled up and started the engine. 

“You’re quite the little tease, aren’t you,” she said, her own voice coated in arousal. Her words shoot straight to your core. It was nothing you hadn’t heard before, but it sounded so much better coming from her. Her gloved hand came to rest on your thigh during the drive back to the school, her thumb stroking the sensitive skin. You were ready to hop into her lap just as she pulled into the parking lot, and she quickly cut the engine and got out. 

--------

Once inside, you let her lead the way back to her quarters, your eyes glued to her backside the entire walk there. She unlocked the door and ushered you inside, locking it behind you both before pressing you against it with her hips. You gasped and looked up at her, her pupils blown so wide you could practically see your reflection in them. 

“Is this what you want?” she asked, making certain you’re on the same page before proceeding.

“God yes,” you breathed out, hands coming to rest on her lower back. 

She wasted no time in leaning down to capture your lips in a bruising kiss, swallowing a deep moan that rumbled from your chest. Her thigh pried your own apart, coming to rest between them and you gasped into her mouth wantonly, your hands grasping her ass. 

“I’ve wanted this from the first time I laid eyes on you,” you husked. 

Her lips worked your neck, making your eyes roll back. “Then that makes two of us,” she whispered, pressing her thigh to your center. 

You let out a breathy moan, your legs threatening to give out. All at once she pulled away to examine her work, her eyes burning into you and you licked your lips in anticipation. 

“Take off your clothes and get on the bed for me.” 

You loved the idea of following her orders. You didn't hesitate, tugging at the buttons of your shirt hurriedly and dropping it to the floor, followed by your pants, leaving you in your matching set of black lace panties and bra. You climbed onto the bed and knelt at its edge, and Larissa turned her back to you, silently prompting you to unzip her dress. 

You took your time in doing so, kissing down her back in the zipper’s wake. You eased the garment off her shoulders and she removed her gloves, tossing them onto a nearby chair. She turned to you to reveal her choice of lingerie; a cream-colored set that complimented her skin tone perfectly. You felt your mouth water at the sight. 

Sitting up on your knees put you at her height at last, and you pulled her into another kiss, this time softer. You passed your tongue over her bottom lip and she granted you entry immediately, a small whimper escaping her throat. You allowed your fingers to tangle themselves in her perfectly pinned-up hair, her own exploring over your body. You arched into her when her fingers found your nipples through your bra, her lips quirking into a playful grin at your reaction. 

“Someone’s eager..” she teased, pinching them experimentally, earning her a gasp from you.

“Lay down for me,” you whispered against her lips. 

With a chuckle she obliged, lowering herself beside you. You quickly took your place between her thighs, placing open-mouthed kisses from her knee up to her inner thighs. Your fingers danced over her core through the fabric, and she shuddered at the contact, spreading her legs further for you. 

“Someone’s eager,” you teased, throwing her own words back at her. 

Larissa covered her face with a giggle, but it quickly turned into a gasp as you finally made contact with her center through her underwear. The heat of your mouth drove her mad with need, and she tugged the offending article off, revealing just how aroused she was for you. A low growl left your chest at the sight and you dove in without a second thought. 

Flattening your tongue against her clit, you finally got a taste of her, and it was well worth the wait. Her sweetness coated your tongue as you devoured her, and you glanced up to watch her writhe beneath your touch. Her back arching as her hands grabbed for anything that would ground her, eventually landing in your hair. Her whimpers were heavenly, you could listen to them all night long. And you planned to. 

Just as her breaths started to quicken, you circled two fingers over her entrance, before easing them into her. She let out a high-pitched moan, and you moaned against her in response, her sounds and the tugging of your hair spurring you on. You began pumping and curling them inside her in time with the strokes of your tongue, and you could tell she was already getting close by the way her walls were tightening around you. 

“Are you gonna come for me baby?” you coaxed, your fingers brushing that sweet spot inside her that drove her wild. 

“Y-yes, I’m- fuck-” 

You could get used to hearing this woman curse. Especially if you were the cause. With a few more gasps and breathy moans, she reached her release, flooding your fingers and mouth with her intense taste. You helped her down from her high before removing your fingers carefully, climbing up beside her and flopping onto your back to catch your breath. 

After a few minutes Larissa wordlessly straddled your waist, lowering her lips to yours to taste herself on your tongue. Whining against her, you squeezed your thighs together for some much-needed friction and she chuckled against your lips. 

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not done with you yet,” she teased, her fingers trailing up your thigh. 

With practiced skill she pulled your panties aside, quickly finding your clit and circling it with featherlight touches. You gasped and bit your lip, the coil inside you already wound tightly. She kissed up your torso, her soft lips finding your hardened nipple through your bra with ease. You leaned up on your elbows and removed it for her, the movements of those damned fingers making it a nearly impossible feat. 

She caught the sensitive peak of skin in her teeth before you could lay down again, causing your head to fall back in pleasure, a desperate whimper leaving you. Her tongue circled it in the same pattern as her fingers below and you felt entranced by her touch. You cupped her cheek, encouraging her to meet your heated gaze.

“I need you,” you all but begged, your cheeks turning pink at the nature of your words. 

“That’s all I needed to hear, darling.” 

Her words in such a low tone nearly drove you over the edge, but as she pressed her fingers into you, it took everything in your power to keep from crying out. A pathetic whine still managed to leave your throat despite your efforts. 

Her digits filled you up in the most delicious way and she knew it. She pumped them slowly, finding the same spot in you as you did in her, massaging it as you fell back onto the mattress. You knew it wouldn’t take you long to finish at this rate, but the sudden ascent toward your orgasm took you by surprise. 

“Larissa.. so.. so close,” you whimpered, your eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to stave it off a bit longer. 

Your hands gripped her shoulders, nails digging in. Your vision gained a few black spots when you opened your eyes again, only to find Larissa’s lustful stare looking back.

“It’s alright dear, I want you to come.” 

Her words sounded delectable in your ear when she whispered them to you, and you couldn’t help yourself when you came undone on her fingers, a moaning mess beneath her. You moved to cover your mouth but her hand caught your wrist, pinning it above you. She wanted to hear you, so you let her. 

Once your pulsing around her slowed, she pulled her fingers from you and looked deep into your eyes as she sucked them clean, groaning at your taste. A smirk played on her features, proud of her handiwork as she regarded your now disheveled demeanor.

“Perhaps I’ll make a habit of going to Staff Bonding Nights.” 

You both burst out in laughter before settling into a comfortable silence, soon after falling into a deep sleep, wrapped up in each other.  

[aloysiavirgata]

I have a bet going that even the most saccharine fluff can actually be done well. So, a prompt for you, if you’re willing:

Mulder and Scully’s kid is an elementary student of the week. Every day that week, kid has to do a Special Assignment; Our Family, Draw a picture of the family pet, whatever. Go! (?)

“Are you shitting me?” Mulder asks, staring at the list. “I’ve read Kitty Kelley biographies less invasive than this.”

Scully leans over, perusing. “You’re so dramatic, it’s a very sweet little program! Tomorrow is his favorite book.”

She frowns then. “Oh.”

“Oh,” Mulder repeats. “The Book That Eats People.”

Scully puts her face in her hands. “We’re the Addams Family,” she groans. “Jesus.”

Mulder pats her on the back. “Maybe he’ll pick Madeline,” he suggests, without much conviction.

***

William is at the table, tongue poked between his lips. “How do you spell ‘disavowed?” he asks.

His father scowls. “William, just say I’m a writer. You don’t need all the back story.”

“D-I-S-A-“ his mother begins.

“SCULLY.”

William beams, a gap-toothed smile. His father’s crinkled eyes. His mother’s blue irises. “Go on, Scully,” he says.

***

The cat is curled in a spiral on the Lazy Susan, her glorious tail a twitchy plume.

“Can I tell them why we named her Taily-Po?” William asks.

Scully frowns. “It’s a scary story, William,” she says. “Not everyone is -“

“Yes,” says Uncle Frohike, scooping up lentils with a wedge of paratha. “It’s classic Americana. That’s patriotism in Virginia.”

Scully frowns. “William. Just tell them we found her as a kitten behind a Vietnamese restaurant.”

“There’s a hyphen,” says Uncle Langley, helpfully.

***

William pokes through the cardboard box of pictures. “Can I tell them Aunt Melissa was murdered ?” he asks. “And that it was never solved? And what do I say about Aunt Samantha, Dad?”

Scully stares beseechingly at Taily-Po, who blinks greenly in reply.

***

“Can I bring both bullets?” William asks his parents. “I can’t pick just one of your gunshots!”

Mulder considers his apple crumble. “How about your mother’s bullet and my letter from the Jerry Springer show?”

William perks up. “Yeah?”

“NO,” Scully says, over a mug of tea. “Those are not appropriate for show and tell.”

William stabs at a potato.

“Well, you have your last birthday card from Skinner,” Mulder says. “Most kids don’t get cards from the director of the FBI.”

William rolls his eyes. “It’s just a CARD,” he groans. “It’s BORING. It’s the last day, it has to be GOOD.”

Mulder ponders for a moment. He looks at Scully, the love of his life. Her fine cheeks are drawn in as she blows on her tea, her mouth a damask rose. She has a nose like a Roman queen, hair like Hestia’s tender flame. Against every odd she birthed him a strong, healthy child. He would kill for her. He would die for her.

“William,” he says to his son, not meeting her apatite gaze. “Have you heard of a show called COPS?”

[lumnries]

┆．pairings stan marsh x gn reader ft. kenny

┆．synopsis stan’s been friends with you since 4th grade, how does he feel realizing he holds feelings for you?

┆．cw not proofread

✉️ … this is my first blog post SO i just wanna say my reqs are open !!!! hmu, you can find my rules here :D i don’t write a lot so this got a bit poor but i tried my best <\3 I FORGOT TO MENTION, THEY’RE IN HIGHSCHOOL HERE 😭😭😭

he doesn’t really realize at first, he’s always noticed how his heart beats faster whenever you were around but never really thought much about it.

it was on the first of the month he recognized his feelings for you. he doesn’t know what to do, should he tell you or keep it to himself? he ponders about it for a bit while walking down the halls. as he reached his locker, he sees you hesitantly talking with kenny. it doesn’t help that both your lockers are right next to each other, but that’s besides the point. he’s more focused on finding out what you guys are taking about.

“hey, why are you guys whispering?” he asks as he opens his locker. only then do you turn around, and god does he feel like disappearing. “stan… it’s nothing.” he stops for a moment. & stares at you, he promptly takes note of your flushed expression & mentally frowns. “well, alright. where are the others?” he closes his locker as he looks at the both of you. kenny seems indifferent but he doesn’t fail to see the slight smirk he wears. now, his dejection is plastered all over his face. an expression of dumbstruck takes over you. “stan? what’s wrong?” you ask, his previous state nowhere to be seen. “don’t worry, i just remembered i had to do something.” giving you no time to speak, stan rushes away.

“seems like he’s discovered something.” kenny disrupts you from your train of thoughts. “kenny, this isn’t the time. he was probably upset about something else.” he shrugs. before you can add on another comment, the bell rings indicating the start of the first period. “shit. let’s talk again later at lunch.” you hurriedly walk to your class as kenny follows behind you. sighing, you open the door to your classroom only to be greeted by your teachers scowling face. you apologize, walking to your seat. you sit down, fixated on your teachers discussion — unaware of a certain someone’s gaze.

suddenly, it’s already lunch. you wait in line with the others in front, allowing you to consider how you actually feel. if you’re gonna be honest to yourself, you’ve probably felt this way towards stan for months now; but you’ve never bothered to express your feelings as he’s always been interested in wendy. but, kenny has certainly made you doubt yourself. you weren’t stupid, you noticed how he seemed to fidget whenever you were around or how his face seemed to slightly burn crimson whenever you complimented him. you sigh, confused by his change in behavior.

& just like that, the day ends. you say your goodbyes to your friends as you walk home. the cool breeze hitting you. your days went on just like this, days turned into weeks & the end of the month eventually got closer. it was the 31st. your day went on how it usually was, but nobody could imagine the stunned look on your face when stan told you to meet him at stark’s pond after class. your heart was racing as you were approaching the said location. you reached the lake, seeing the familiar figure of your friend.

he himself was painted with an embarrassed look. your mind went blank as he got closer & opened his mouth. “y/n, i’m slo glad you came. this is kinda humiliating. i mean, seeing me like this.” he stammers as he talks, “okay, i know this might be sudden but i like you. recently, i’ve started contemplating about how i felt towards you. and i’ve come to the conclusion that i’m absolutely fucked whenever i think of you because i just can’t seem to get you out of my head.” your gaze follows him as he turns his head, looking away. you hold his hands, seemingly making the raven haired boy redden even more. despite this, he doesn’t seem to mind.

“stan. i like you too, you don’t understand how happy i am just being in your presence. i’ve loved you since last year, i just couldn’t stand the idea of ruining our friendship over something i can’t control. just being together with you was enough, but now i’m not so sure.” he’s finally looking at you. your heart feels like bursting. he brings his face closer to yours, as you guys embrace each other. the warmth you felt that day couldn’t be described. & as the month finished, so was the constant confusion of your relationship with the boy you’ve liked.

[sensitiveheartless]

fic emoji asks - ⏳+ 🤩

⏳How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Ooooh that depends — with my first fic, (Wish in one hand) I wrote it in a possessed whirl in about…two days, I think? And then kinda idly edited it for a couple months because I didn’t have anywhere to post it at the time (hadn’t made an ao3 account yet). That one was just 5k of course, and it was pretty straightforward to write.

“Zut Alors! I have missed one!” Is another that I wrote in a possessed frenzy; I thought of it while cooking and listening to little mermaid songs and couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of crab Chuuya and chef Dazai, immediately started working on it, and that one took me a couple weeks to finish I think? Maybe a month, I don’t quite remember. Howl AU chapters usually took at least a week when I had more free time, and much longer whenever I was busy (or was writing a more complicated part, like chapters 16 and 17 — oh my gosh those were a lot of characters to keep track of alskdjfj)

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

…Probably Chuuya? He’s been one of the biggest challenges, because I like his character so much I want to do it as well as I can, but it’s also been super fun! While I can relate to him in certain ways, he’s also very different than I am, so it’s fun to explore those differences and try to really get in his head. The Howl AU was great for that actually, because it was the first long form thing I had done from his perspective, and it forced me to really ponder what was going on with him. As a result, his character arc actually changed significantly while I was writing things out, and sometimes I felt like he was spinning out of control and I was just kind of going along with the vibe (he was not supposed to become cognizant of his feelings for Dazai as early as he did, but I’m actually really happy with how that progression turned out, so no regrets!). I don’t know how good the characterization was at some points, but I sure had a fun time with it!

Honestly I’ve ended up enjoying most of the characters I’ve written, especially in the Howl AU (like Oda and Ango! It was the first time I’d written them, and I liked writing them SO much. Also Mori, he sure does make a good antagonist alsksjdjf — I could go on but it really was every character I included in that fic) so I wouldn’t put any one character too high over another, but Chuuya is Chuuya and he is wonderful :D

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

ghostbur and limbobur interaction, no interaction, whatever. just mmmm the parallels and then coexisting in different realms is enough. you can see I am very normal about my bois yes.

They take up 90% of my brain space

VERY GOOD IDEA YES YES!!! I’ve actually been wanting to write about Ghostbur and Wilbur, specifically set in Limbo, so this was a good motivator to actually write that :D

~~~

I seem to be inside a train station, Ghostbur thought, taking in the worn signs and maps posted to the walls and the flickering schedule fixed to the ceiling, pixelated words reading: do you remember what the sun feels like?

As Ghostbur stared, pondering this strange question—of course he remembered what the sun felt like! He felt it on his skin everyday, and he loved to sit and watch it move lazily across the sky, and he quite enjoyed the feeling of warmth on his closed eyelids—a voice broke his thoughts, scattering them like smoke. 

“What are you?”

Ghostbur blinked, turning around.

Across the train tracks, on a platform identical to Ghostbur’s own, stood a man wearing a long brown coat. His eyes were wide, and they were brown.

Brown…

Ghostbur wanted to say hello, and wave, and perhaps talk about the sun, but he did not. 

Instead, he was quiet. 

Strangely, he felt very afraid. 

He felt very afraid. 

“What are you?” The man repeated, voice quivering like leaves in autumn that just barely clung to their branches, always being blown away in the end. He took a step—though forward or backward, Ghostbur couldn’t tell. “Are you a mirage? A vision?”

There was a pause.

“Like a- like an illusion? Like a magic trick?” The man snapped his fingers. “Is a bloody rabbit going to jump out of your hat?”

“I’m not wearing a hat,” Ghostbur murmured, before he could remember that he wanted to stay quiet. 

The man shut his mouth with a snap. 

It seemed as if a chasm greater than train tracks was settled between them. 

Ghostbur still felt very afraid, but he didn’t run. 

“You look- you sound like me. Why do you sound like me?” The man sounded panicked, eyes growing wider and exposing more of the whites inside them. “Why do you look like me? Why do you have my face? Why do you have my freaking face?”

Ghostbur took a small step backwards. 

The man stared at him. His stare was very sharp, almost piercing. Like a sword, or the tip of a knife. 

A thought drifted into Ghostbur’s mind, quiet and heavy and instantaneously right. “Are you Alivebur?”

“What… what’s an Alivebur?”

Ghostbur gazed at the man, tilting his head to the side. 

Wilbur gazed back, swallowing. His forehead was growing shiny with sweat. 

“Is this where you live now?” Ghostbur asked, taking another look around. “In a train station?”

Wilbur paused. “I- yes, in a… train station.”

“Is this what death looks like?” Ghostbur stopped looking around, turning his attention back to Wilbur. Wilbur, the dead man, who died on November sixteenth, which was two and a half weeks ago. 

Wilbur blinked. “You didn’t answer my bloody question.”

“Oh.” Then it was Ghostbur who blinked. “What was-“

“What are you? Are you me? Are you my doppelgänger, my clone? A trick?” Wilbur began to pace, back and forth across his platform. Ghostbur watched him. 

Wilbur’s shoes made very loud clicks against the floor. 

“I think I’m your ghost!” Ghostbur supplied. 

Wilbur’s gait faltered. “My ghost?”

“Yes!” Ghostbur nodded, trying to be excited even though he felt mostly scared. “I’m like you except I don’t do bad things or blow up nations! I don’t start fires!”

Wilbur continued pacing, wringing his hands together. “You don’t start fires?”

“No! I don’t start fires that I can’t put out.” He paused. “I think you did that a lot.”

Wilbur chuckled, though it sounded much more like a choke. “Brilliant. Just brilliant.”

“What is?”

Wilbur stopped walking so suddenly that his coat rushed forward and his hair flopped. He glared at Ghostbur with eyes that were far more dangerous than lightning. “You. Me, this.”

He gestured at the train station, and his sharp hands struck Ghostbur as if he’d been physically hit. Ghostbur flinched.

~~~

There’s actually quite a bit more that I’ve written for this :0 But this was the section that made the most sense, I felt like. Still working on the rest!

This has become a full on fic alsgaksgkafsjs and I’m not too sure when I’ll finish it, so I wanted to go ahead and share at least a bit of what I have :D

[sleeping-academic]

september 15th, 2024

today was not very productive… most of my morning was just me sitting around. i’m at work right now tho, and it’s looking like a pretty boring shift, so i should have time to get some stuff done unless i’m given a surprise task.

unfortunately i did not find a red jacket on my thrifting excursion with my friend yesterday 😔 but i did see something in spirit halloween that inspired another halloween costume idea (one that’s much easier too!!) so i’ll keep pondering that.

today, i:

🫧 finished watching arcane with my roommate!! we’re both very excited for season 2 to come out in a few months :D

🫧 painted my nails (blue and pink… like jinx from arcane. can you tell i really like arcane rn??)

🫧 went to dutch bros before work and got a hot tea for my shift as a little pick-me-up treat (because i did NOT want to go to work)

to-do before tomorrow:

🫧 finish reading chapter 2 of the textbook for my archaeology of ancient italy class + take quiz 4

🫧 read the “doing gender” article for my intro to gender and society class

🫧 finish the page for the 8 of Wands in my tarot journal!! i’ve been very disconnected from that recently with the start of the new semester, but i’m gonna try and dedicate some more time this week to learn more about tarot <3

media:

🎧: “paint the town blue” - ashnikko

📖: the song of achilles - madeline miller

📺: arcane season 1 episode 9 - “the monster you created”

[nesta-apologist]

So if we've got Cleric!Elain and Paladin!Lucien, which D&D class do the other ACOTAR characters fall into?

Thank you so much for asking! Hope you're ready for a dump of all my ✨thoughts✨

Here's a summary if you aren't interested in reading my whole dissertation (If you're wondering: yes I do plan to draw them all, we'll just see what I have time for)

If you're interested in more details on subclasses/multiclasses you'll have to come back later (I'll reblog and add it to this post) but if you're looking for explorations and ponderings of this so far:

Generically, I made these choices based on both personality and powers/skills. Sometimes these seem to conflict though, and I’ll do my best to explain the conflict.

I'll start with Cassian and Nesta, because they're the clearest to me. Cassian is a Barbarian because of his Illyrian training. Nesta is a Warlock because of her power's connection to the Cauldron (for example: one could see the end of ACOSF as a conversation between a warlock and their patron)

Now that I've got you hooked, we'll revisit Elain and Lucien. Elain is a Cleric for the vibes yes, but also because of her source of power - the Cauldron. She is blessed with powers from the same deity/being that Nesta “bargained with” (stole from) for power.

Lucien is a tough one. I initially figured he’d just be a bard, but after thinking about it more I decided on making him a paladin. I’ve heard good arguments for him being a rogue potentially, too. I’m dedicated to him being a paladin because I believe it fits his loyalty and sense of justice. Plus, there’s a possibility of him having an oathbreaker subclass after leaving Spring 👀. I like to think he may have a history of being a bard/pursuing the bard class back in Autumn, but left it behind when he left the Court.

Non-specifically, I’ll think that all High Lords are some kind of Sorcerers. I also imagine at least some multiclass because I feel like it makes sense for people that are so powerful. Other than them, I’ll try to avoid multi-classing unless it makes a ton of sense (i’m figuring out alternatives I’ll get into when I make a later post about subclasses and multiclassing in Dnd!Acotar (probably after Cassian week)

Next, of course, is Feyre and Rhysand. Feyre naturally has had the Ranger class since she was human, and then she picked up the Sorcerer class when she gained the powers of the High Lords.

Rhysand, as mentioned his high lords, is a sorcerer as well. He will likely either multiclass in barbarian for his training in Illyrian fighting, or that will be the basis for his specific subclass (though I’m also considering basing the HL subclasses on their Court theme). Basically, I’m workshopping it! :)))

Rogue!Azriel seems pretty set in stone/obvious to me (though I’d love to entertain other ideas if y’all have 'em!). Once again deciding if he should be a barbarian of some kind for the Illyrian training …

I’m also workshopping if the Valkyrie’s develop a multiclass/subclass for finishing their training. Whichever that class is will likely be Emerie’s class. I’m deciding between Monk or Fighter for her, leaning toward monk.

Then there’s Gwyn! I’m considering her having a base class of Druid or Cleric because of her background. Maybe I just want a Druid in here, or maybe I think she should just match classes with Emerie. I’m leaning toward Druid!Gwyn + Valkyrie class.

Sorcerer!Amren makes sense to me, having the same sort of mystical magical background as the High Lords (though she’ll absolutely have a different subclass than any known HL).

Bard!Mor makes sense to me because a lot of her abilities seem to be in the diplomacy around fights. I’m sure other arguments could be made for her class, but we don’t know a ton about her powers, and I LOVE the idea of Mor giving Bardic Inspiration.

I didn’t mean to group Eris and Mor in any way, but Eris makes sense as a Bard for the same reasons Mor does. Eris is just trying to multiclass into Sorcerer right now lol(a.k.a. Become HL).

The last thought I had was about the potential of Helion being an Artificer/Sorcerer. If Helion isn’t an Artificer, he sure runs a Court full of them. I’m considering him to potentially be a Clockwork Soul Sorceror (I’ll get into in a later post), or being the only HL to be a Wizard instead of a sorcerer based on his study of magic. Once again: workshopping

Let me know if you guys have any ideas for characters I haven’t gotten to yet! Here’s a short list:

Tamlin, Tarquin, Kallias (once again, I’m thinking Sorcerer for HLs but maybe there’s more), Jurian, Vassa, Ianthe, Kier, Amarantha, the human queens, Drakon, or Miriam

[gumnut-logic]

Okay, I’m possibly nuts, actually, probably nuts, but I’ve been looking for a way to activate my art a bit more. I can draw, paint, whatever and I have a studio full of glorious equipment that is barely getting used.

I had thought to start a sketch book, but the problem with that is that not all my media can be supported in a sketch book and plus I am horribly hard to tie down into one thing (you may have noticed).

I was pondering away and it occurred to me that the one thing that links all my art and craft media is colour. This combined with the fact that I have a pile of beads lined up on my desk in colour combos waiting for me to action something with them. They are like mini palettes.

So what if I come up with a small combination of colours every week and do whatever with those colours?

I know I’m not the first to have this brain wave, but it struck me today as something I could do, so I’m doing it. Initially for the month of February (alongside FabFiveFeb, which I’m also prepping) and see what happens. It may fizzle into nothing due to being back at work :( but at the very least I’ll end up with a little bit of creative stuff done?

So I’m slapping it here, in case anyone would like to join in.

Outline

I will post a small palette of colours, probably on the Sunday (except for Week One which is down below).

Take the colours, which will not be precise, because I’m too lazy to get out my Pantone swatches, and colour matching sucks across monitors and printers and yeah, it’s a graphic design nightmare. So take the approximate colours and do something with with them. Art, craft, traditional, digital, performance, big, small, using all the colours, one of the colours, a derivative of the colours, fanworks or not fanworks, whatever works. I know, getting the creative brain to produce anything is a pain in many body parts. And writers, if this floats your boat, grab it and let’s go sailing :D

Post it to your blog (or not, but I’d love to see it anyway) and tag with #nuttypalette (the whole challenge title is too long and it abbreviates to npc which while I love Ryan Reynolds, isn’t really what I’m looking for :D )

Week One

Here we go.

This week’s palette I stole from my macrame stash. These colours went zing after hunting through my pile of cords and I’ve started a five-weave macrame bracelet with them. But I also have other ideas, so let’s see what happens :D

When I had to slap together the logo above I figured this was the colour set this week, so I used it.

So if you would like to join in, have at it. Write, draw, paint, craft, scribble, whatever works :D

It should also be noted that I’m definitely going to include some of the Thunderbirds colours along the way cos I can’t help myself.

Wanna play?

Nutty

(let’s see if it works at all)

[bye-innit]

Wolfgang Akire x M!Reader (Suggestive)

A close friend of mine requested "Only the paragraph part of a tall vanilla bean iced coffee with vanilla chip cookie crumbs for Wolfgang Akire and a male reader." Also for future reference of time, I take anywhere from 1-3 requests a week depending on what sizes I've been requested at the time.

Many know your boyfriend, after all, he is a very well-known lawyer who is incredibly diligent in his cases, having taken over 200 cases and never dropping a single one. People see him as a tall, dignified, and mostly calm man, but only you get to see the other him. The other him whose impeccable dress suit is wrinkled and creased, the deep blue tie that is always neatly tucked into his suit, untied and strewn across the room, and his soft black hair that’s normally slicked back becoming messy and tangled from your hands. These are some of the thoughts in your mind as you walk to Akire’s dorm room on the campus of Eden's Garden Academy, he had texted you half an hour ago wanting to have a movie night with just the two of you. And while you love the soft and sweet moments you share together, all the sweet dates you’ve taken each other on, and just spending time together, you can’t help that your brain is thinking of turning the date around and having some more exciting fun.

You knock on the wooden door of Akire’s room and are greeted by him smiling gently, he leans down and gives you a peck on the forehead, and motions for you to come in “Hello darling, I am quite excited about our movie night, I have picked several movies for you to choose from. They should be laying on the table in front of the t.v.” You smile at his back while he grabs the popcorn from the microwave and say “Ok Wolfie, I’ll be waiting on you.” Then proceed to the living room-like area of the dorm and see six movies laying on the coffee table for you to pick from. Each of them differs in genre and ratings. Though two catch your eye in particular, the first being a detective movie about a prodigy detective who falls in love with a very famous phantom thief, and the second is a romance movie about an adventurer who's traveling the world trying to find a cure for her lovers' illness, you decide to choose the two. You neatly restack the movies and put them back in their proper places on the shelf full of movies and books, after you put in the first movie you sit and wait for Akire to bring the popcorn for you to share.

 He sits down next to you and wraps an arm around your shoulders as the movie starts up, you two both seem to enjoy the first movie but halfway through the second one you decide that you should start having your fun. So you slowly move your arm around Akire's waist which he notices but decides not to bring up, then you slip your hand underneath his shirt and trace shapes on his stomach the movements making him flustered "D-dear may I ask what you are doing?" You smirk "I want to have a bit of fun, is that ok with you, love?" He sighs but smiles gently and pauses the movie "Who would I be to refuse your request?" Then he leans his head down and presses his lips to your own. It starts out soft and sweet, but you bite his bottom lip wanting more which he grants, letting your tongue slip into his mouth you quickly take control and shift yourself so you're sitting on his lap. Akire slips his fingers into your hair, moaning softly into the kiss. 

You break away and start leaving a trail of hickeys down his neck, you look up at him and see the ever-composed Wolfgang Akire with his eyes closed in pleasure, checks burning red, and trying to hold in his moans. You stop to admire your work, Akire's neck covered in red and purple love bites "Now what should I do?" You ponder out loud "I could suck you off?" You suggest your hands toying with his waistband "Hm, or I could fuck you?" You pull on the waistband " Perhaps you could suck me off?" Then releasing the band it snapping against his skin, he flinches ever so slightly before his facial expression changes into a slightly darker one, he then grabs your wrists firm enough so you can squirm but loose enough to not hurt you and pushes your back onto the couch " I believe I wish to suck you off, darling." He whispers in the shell of your ear, you blush at the sudden dominance Akire is showing tonight as he has always been the bottom in any sexual situation, but it's not an unwelcome change by any means. You smirk and capture his lips in another passionate kiss, trying to take back some control but Akire manages to stay in charge and not submit to you. The kiss ends and you're left feeling more bothered than you've ever felt before, you try wriggling your arms to get out of his grip, but he tightens his grip. " Ah ah, tonight I am going to be in control." Then leans his head down to your neck and starts sucking harshly, making sure to leave plenty of marks. " Akir-re, hurry up I wanna feel your pretty mouth around my cock." Akire smirks " Needy are you? Well, I guess that won't matter, as sooner or later I'll have you begging." He chuckles, his eyes twinkling darkly as he picks you up and carries you into his bedroom.

Might do another part of this at one point or not. Hope you all enjoy! :)

[lucy-ghoul]

sooooo, yesterday i watched hotd s1 finale. here are my (semi-coherent) thoughts:

i've had one (1) day to simmer down my instinctive "wtf??" reaction and ponder on some writing choices - actually, two notable writing choices. first, this is no got s8 levels of disaster, but i'd already noticed a couple of red flags in ep9 and so i was - i am - guarded, though my emotional investment is nowhere near as high as my peak asoiaf/got era. i'm way more detached, and if i came off as pissed in some prev posts it was more of a general 🤷🤷 feeling concerning old disappointments in correlated or different media. (having said that, the larys/alicent feet thing is atrocious.)

i see they're still going strong with the childbirth from hell saga - i've already written about it in an older post, and i quite liked it, however gory and heartbreaking it was.

i don't buy the daemyra choking (not in a kinky way) scene. there's nowhere near enough build up for that. yes, daemon killed his first wife (which btw wasn't in the book) but they hated each other and she wasn't a targ. from d. pov's that's quite an important detail. (not that i’m excusing it, you know.) i don't even buy that "he's grieving that's why he acts (more) irrationally and with 0 impulse control (than usual)" because while he's ready for war and legitimately angry at the thought of his brother being murdered (tho viserys had been rotting away for years, last time they saw each other he could barely stand/talk, it was only a matter of weeks, maybe a couple of months at best before he died, they should have been prepared for this & the greens response) he doesn't act that out of control. let's be honest here: daemyra was always problematic and people shouting ~grooming! weren't completely wrong, but the writers also sold it as High Romance. the Stupid Fangirls weren't that blinded by their silly girly brains: d&r were framed as being genuinely in love despite the painfully obvious problematic elements. (& the incest is the least problematic thing here, since this is westeros and they're targs.) i think one of the directors even compared their love to what she feels for her own husband. so no, we weren't dreaming it up, they just couldn't find a balance between Toxic Incest Couple & Soulmates Being Soulmates, and obv they had to put a ~Bad Man is Very Bad, Girlies, Don't Try At Home~ bs Morality Play that seems so damn popular in this day and age. mind you, we all knew shit was going to hit the fan with nettles' appearance (i'm still worried about her portrayal, she's just a young girl and daemon is so much older than her, and i have no idea how they’re going to develop/frame their relationship) but somehow i had not foreseen him being physically abusive to his wife (who just gave birth to their stillborn daughter and lost her father btw). i was expecting him to lash out but... not like this. after their (fabulous ngl) wedding i haven't been much invested in daemyra anyway (i thought their decades long budding romance was much more appealing) but despite what i said above, one thing d/r fans were wrong about was expecting that hbo could actually make a medieval fantasy wuthering heights 2.0 and deliver lmao. no mainstream media would do that, not in the current ~think of the girls!!! climate. this is like believing that the star wars sequels were a gothic female-gazey romance that featured rey's sexual awakening + happy ending with the local parricidal ex darksider - the romance was there, don't get me wrong, but no hollywood-made pop culture piece of media could ever deliver. we also know d/r history from f&b, it's not all sunshine and rainbows... tho it's not comparable to jaime&cersei either. this is no valonqar situation - if and when that happens in asoiaf, motives and characters can't be compared only because d. and jaime share a love for poor impulse control and incest; the framing for their ~love affair and the choking act is also radically different. this feels like a punishment for the girls who tend to romanticize daemon and his feelings for his niece, as a "sharp reminder" of who he is and what is capable of (and that women, even dragon queens who are more than mere consorts and childbearers, can be victimized and have shitty husbands ig). except that however awful and poor little meow meow he may be, he didn't do any of this marital abuse bs in the book as far as we know. which brings me to:

i have a small problem with the people who say "f&b is no real account of the dance, these characters can't be written as ooc because we basically don't know them! it's all headcanons and bias!". theoretically i agree: there are at least 3 different versions of any major event, and what intrigued me the most about this show was the premise of Unreliable Narrator Extraordinaire. which path would these writers follow? because logically one should also say: "is this what really happened in the dance?" like, aren't these people (hired by hbo, paid a shitton of money, apparently asoiaf fans themselves) also writing down their own interpretations? unless grrm himself is behind everything (foot fetish and wife-choking included) who are these people to say this is what actually happened? they didn't create the characters and the plot etc., we're seeing them through their eyes and bias as well. why are the Poor Naive Girls who romanticized the Bad Dark Prince (aka they knew he was a big asshole but didn't think he had it in him to actually assault the woman he loves) the ones to be so awfully biased and affected by media illiteracy, to the point i’ve already seen the usual crowd online gloating over it like “ha ha the bitches had it coming”? one could say this is just another version of the dance... which would actually be more compelling imo. this also brings me to:

grandma vhagar being nostalgic of her war crimes era and gnam gnam lucerys to the oblivion. i have... very mixed feelings about this. i agree that making aemond more than an evil cackling anime villain is a good choice but idk about this tbh. idk how they could have spin it differently either tho, so i give up. people say "at least he doesn't actively seek war out so he doesn't look like an idiot" except he looks like an even bigger idiot because no one in their right mind would chase down their four-and-ten nephew and his dragon (said to be “five times smaller” than vhagar) through the sky while they're riding a huge ass fucking beast that could dwarf a mountain and actually fought in the conquest just to pick out his eye, and not expect it to horribly escalate. like, if you make two dragons face each other (especially if one of them is as powerful and ancient as vhagar is) what do you think is going to happen? realistically, i mean? maybe aemond didn't want to go that far but omg he should have foreseen this from a mile. like, sweetie maybe you didn't study your history and lore so well. and for the "he's just a teenager he doesn't know what he's doing" crowd: in a short span of time this ~poor baby~ is going to burn down the riverlands, hundreds of people will die. the incident that sparks the dance being an actual accident, tho... lmao sorry but that sounds like a joke. like, no matter how you spin it, if you like or love or hate it, it still robs the character of his agency, and therefore the story of poignancy. and i'm not even 100% sold on ~the dragons randomly eating people alive even when their riders strictly forbid them too~ because yeah, i can see that, a dragon is no slave and of course they're not mindless beasts but actually quite intelligent etc. but on the other hand i for one can't wait for drogon to fire up kl of his own free will - maybe he'll just hate that fugly city, who knows - so that ~dany (aka an actual 16 year old victim of rape and abuse who liberated thousands of slaves in a continent she was exiled to as an infant) is going to burn children alive and be put down like a mad bitch because that's somehow comparable to lotr shire chapter!!1~ disk horse can finally die its miserable death.

so, yeah, mixed feelings about these two (2) plot points, particularly the ~daemon is physically abusive now~ thing. also dk about whitewashing the blacks anymore, rhaenys killed a fuck ton of civilians in ep9 for no conceivable reason (something that in the books and in peaceful times only the worst of the worst are willing to do, no matter how much these elite assholes don’t care about the smallfolk) and now daemon is even more evil than he was in the book. aegon ii may be... well, aegon ii, but with aemond being somehow more humane and whatever they're doing to alicent the blacks are the ones that actually wreak more havoc - and i’m not even touching the blood and cheese thing. at least aemond's fuck-up kinslaying was accidental lol. jokes aside i overall liked this ep more than i did ep9 and while it’s not bad bad... no mistake, this is no high television either. i’ve seen what great tv can do (it’s exceptionally rare tho, more than people think) and this doesn’t look like it except for some acting choices + scenes.

[inonibird]

Hey y’all, I swear I’m still around and semi-functioning! :’) The past month has been bonkers, between finally catching Covid and starting a new job, and NOW it’s just about time for the holidays, so things will likely continue in this hectic vein. (But there’s good news: Covid was relatively mild and new job is super cool so far!)

I have the next chapter of Sahuldeem ready to post—likely on an “off” day, since I really just need to take whatever chance I can to post instead of waiting for the perfect Monday. It and the following chapter are fun ones, IMO, and then…well, I’ve written most of Part Four, but there’s still one chapter (a new one that wasn’t in the original script) that I’ve struggled with. Hopefully I can get through it, since I truly enjoy the rest of Collector~

As for other projects…I’m getting antsy, I know it. T_T In the past couple of weeks I’ve opened up and looked at my first draft of UNWANTED with major rewrites in mind and refreshed my memory on an old paranormal series I’d been fiddling with over a decade ago. I have a big backlog of D&D art from this past year I’ve never gotten around to posting, and more I wish I could draw if I could just get my brain to cooperate. I’m also wandering off and pondering THREE different possible offshoots of Sahuldeem that I wouldn’t mind tackling once it’s over. So much. Help.

But ahhhh well! Even if I obviously can’t do ALL OF THE THINGS (let alone much of anything before the new year), do expect at least one more Sahuldeem update soon~ Stay safe and healthy in the meantime, folks!

Oh, and here’s actual footage of me leaving my old job for the new one:

[torawro]

Hey sosa!!! Sorry if you’re getting a lot of byakuya ask! So I got something I’ve been thinking about. Imagine byakuya gets taken to a strip club/gentlemen club by his peers and renji to help him ease up a little bit and to get out more and he wasn’t really all that impress until he sees reader and boom! He’s been stuck on them from that moment on and tries everything to get her! From visiting often, to VIPS rooms, giving gifts and eventually trying to make her quit because he’s so rich he can easily just pay her lifestyle if he wanted to!

EEEEEEEK!!! So whatcha think about that? And if you ever build a headcanon off this I’ll be foaming at the mouth 😮‍💨cuz your and writing is 🤌🏾😮‍💨

P.s. I might even come off anon if you can guess who wrote this🤭🤭

HI NONNIE !!! i am soooooooo incredibly sorry for being late :(( i'm finally getting to all my asks >< please don't apologize i absolutely LOVE AND ADORE the saturation of byakuya related content i've been getting in my ask box and i want more :D love a reason to talk about my maaannnnnn. also, i think i very much know who this is but u shall let u come forward if you wish :))))

okay i personally LOVEEEEE THIS IDEA???FDKFDEKF LIKE THIS SOUNDS SO GOOD ! i think this kind of scenario is def something he would do to an extent 🤭 i would like to add, at first byakuya wouldn't want to go to this kind of place because, as prideful as he is, he thinks he's 'above it' and thinks that men who frequent these establishes so often are lowkey 'tasteless' because he just doesn't understand, subjectively, the appeal of watching barely clothed women dance in front and around him. but he may understand why other men might go.

and then he folds.

it's because renji is annoyingly persistent and figured the only way to get him and his other male friends/colleagues to stop asking is to go. so he promise he'll go just once and one time only just to see what the hype is about and it's like you said, he wasn't all thatttt impressed (at least they had decent drinks) but probably wouldn't come back on his own free will. until he sees the reader 🤭 she comes out in an outfit that is revealing but isn't all THAT revealing compared to her coworkers and his eyes are immediately drawn to her. there's also a certain elegance, poise and finesse that is threaded within her every movement but at the same time, she's still very sensual and feminine. the combination was incredibly sexy and captivating to byakuya, his gray silver eyes would continuously find their way back to her, like metal to a magnet. your gazes met twice during the night; your eyes were beautifully beguiling, but there was an amicable quality to them that felt inviting. you even gave him a wave as you left, and byakuya's eyes widened in surprise but otherwise his face didn't give away any emotion to his other colleagues.

all night he would think about you. yes 'kuya was a quiet man by nature but this time he was somewhat lost in thought pondering and contemplating about you and as he parted with his friends and arrived at his lavish, expansive bachelor pad, he was also already considering returning back to the establishment.... just to see you.

but ofc because he is as stubborn as he is quiet and intelligent, he wouldn't actually go back for almost another week. he made sure to go discreetly on a day/time that none of his colleagues would be there b/c he knew if they ever saw him they'd never let him live it down. this second time he goes back, he sits in a section by himself and just watches you, gingerly sipping on the alcohol he's been served. the way his eyes became low as he stared at you dance and manuever on stage, you would think he was glaring at you but it was quite the opposite. he was observing you, drinking you in, trying to figure you out just by watching you; byakuya could be very astute. either way it made you hot to have this handsome man's eyes on you all night. it wasn't in a creepy or predatory way which was a change of pace u could appreciate. in fact, you found it-- and him-- very attractive.

byakuya would find himself giving into his more primitive desires and visited a third and fourth time and the fifth time is when he gathered the courage (?) to request a private room with this woman. he figured it was time to talk to her. in all honesty, he didn't really like the idea of visiting this place so often because it made him a hypocrite but he came for you. and now, it's time he'd show you his world after getting to watch u in yours. he def courted her using his polite manners, chivalrous attitude and...basically just being himself and he was such a breath of fresh air, and sexy too, how could u resist?

i don't want this to get any longer than it already is LMAOOOOO but as u can see.........the wheels in my brain were actively turning as i typed and this was too good of an idea that i could most CERTAINLY flesh out so i thank u for this <3

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

DICED HAM

Opening this weekend:

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves--This movie includes more than one dungeon, and more than one dragon. Thus the title is truthful, at any rate.

Once or twice back in college--twice, if memory serves--I played Dungeons & Dragons with some of my fellow theater students. It was sort of fun, as I recall. The first time, an obnoxious kid we didn't know named Dan--not a theatre major--had somehow been invited, who seemed to think himself a great ladies' man. He named his warrior character "Dahn" and spent most of the evening drinking a lot and hitting on the young women there. When we played again a week or so later, Dan was not invited, and the Dungeon Master mildly informed us that "Dahn disagreed with something that ate him."

This was in the early '80s.  I recount this story only to make it clear how limited my familiarity is with the classic role-playing fantasy game developed in the mid-'70s and now owned by Wizards of the Coast (a subsidiary of Hasbro). I've never played D&D or any similar game since, though I have friends and family who are enthusiasts. Even at the time, I didn't really grasp how the dice rolls and "damage points" and other such jargon determined the flow of the game; I just enjoyed the socializing and improvisational creativity.

So for all I know, this new movie version, directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley from a script they concocted with Michael Gilio and Chris McKay, is a rich and faithful fleshing-out of tropes from the game. Or, for all I know, it's just a sword-and-sorcery fantasy with the franchise's name hung on it. I can't say, nor need any general audience member care; either way, it's highly entertaining.

Chris Pine is a lute-strumming troubadour living in a Ren-Faire-ish realm of racial and gender diversity. A washed-up member of a heroic order, he leads a band of thieves including a warrior (Michelle Rodriguez); a sorcerer (Justice Smith) of low self-esteem and questionable prowess, and a horned and tailed elfin person (Sophia Lillis) who can shape-shift into various other creatures, including a brawny monster owl.

They're on a quest to obtain some sort of magical thingy that will allow them to enter a magic vault from which they want to steal some other magical thingy. This will allow the troubadour to resurrect his murdered wife. Along the way the band is helped by a noble but humorlessly literal paladin (Regé-Jean Page from Bridgerton).

This synopsis does the movie little justice, however. D&DHAT isn't heavy. Despite all the thundering hordes and clanking armor and clashing steel and roiling brimstone and mystical spells and hideous ogres and such, the flavor is less like a Tolkien epic than like a Hope-Crosby Road comedy. The guiding joke is that the characters, notwithstanding their fairy tale attire, speak and interact in a contemporary American idiom, like people on a sitcom. There's an extended schtick, involving questioning of the dead, that's almost worthy of the Marx Brothers.

Your own tastes will determine if this approach makes the movie a blast or an outrage. For me, it not only made it less ponderous, but more emotionally satisfying. The actors generate an ensemble playfulness and a sense of affection. Pine retains his raffish agreeability, and he and Rodriguez are particularly convincing as longtime, patiently enduring friends.

But once again, the best reason to see the film, even if this sort of fantasy isn't your usual tankard of mead, is Hugh Grant. He plays the rotten mountebank who betrayed Pine and friends back in the day. Since then, with the alliance of a sinister sorceress (Daisy Head), this fraud has ascended to the throne of the kingdom; it's his vault the gang wants to loot, and he's also, intolerably, been serving as the surrogate father to Pine's daughter (Chloe Coleman).

Between this movie, the recent Operation Fortune, and 2017's Paddington 2, Grant has quite a line these days in cheery, good-natured comic villains. The scenes he steals here are the most honorable theft in the movie.

[enithinggoes]

Chapter 9: I’m okay

July 3rd, 2022. Today they get to eat cup noodles with sink water, heated in the microwave.

“Yeeeah baby!” Henrique chowed down on a huge mouthful of noodles, leaving their tips hanging inside the cup.

“This money won’t last forever,” said Elizabeth, observing and turning the food on her fork like a Sommelier examines a wine, “home appliances and instant food are convenient-“ she took a bite “-and tasty. But we’re going to need to earn our own eventually.”

“I think I can fool people into thinking I’m 18, but I don’t have many useful skills. Maybe something like a bouncer?” Henrique gently tapped his plastic fork against his lip in thought.

“You certainly fit the bill.” Benjamin pointed his fork at his friend’s torso. “Big, strong and mean looking!” He joked.

“I have always thought it would be interesting to become a writer. But I think that would take a long time to give any financial returns. A librarian or something similar may be a more prudent choice for the immediate future.” Elizabeth pondered her options.

“What about me?” Asked Benjamin, visibly excited.

Elizabeth and Henrique shared a look. “You’re too young, at your age everyone will know you should be going to school,” said Henrique.

“Oh…” Benjamin turned his gaze down, having trouble arguing. “But I’ve already finished school! And I think no normal college would accept me now…”

Elizabeth placed her hand gently on Benjamin’s shoulder. “Maybe something online, you’ll find something, Benjamin. Don’t worry so much right now.”

“I want to help…”

…

Henrique would buy Benjamin a gift today, but to do that guilt-free, he should get a job already. So he went looking for nightclubs and bars in the neighborhoods around Aclimação, and due to a recent dismissal, he even found an interview on the same day in a place called “the Magenta Room”.

The place was surprisingly calm for a bar. A local band was playing a relaxing mix of jazz and Brazilian bossa nova live on stage. As the name suggested, the walls were painted magenta, contrasted by baby blue lights which brought an aquarium to Henrique’s mind. Working here wouldn’t be bad.

“What’s your name, kid?” A woman with curly hair bound in a ponytail by an olive colored hair tie asked from the other side of a bar stand where no one else sat, it was still three in the afternoon, after all.

“Henrique.” His hands squeezed each other to keep occupied and hide nerves.

“Laura, pleasure.” She offered him a hand and he shook it. “This your first job, Henrique?”

“Yes, ma’am. I just moved away from my folks.” It wasn’t a lie.

“And can you stay here into the night? Ain’t got somewhere to be in the morning?” Laura tapped her chin with her index finger while she questioned him.

“No, I can go home any time.”

“Things get ugly from time to time. Some drunks and creeps get violent when told no. You ever been in a fight?”

“…Yes” Henrique couldn’t avoid casting his eyes down as he answered. Too many questions. Oh shit does she maybe know?

“Hmm…” Laura looked the boy up and down, examining him with a quirked eyebrow and tight lips. She knows something’s up, and he knows she knows. She probably even knows he knows she knows.

“C-could you pay me in cash?” Henrique asked. But his eyes pleaded a much more important request. Please don’t call the police. Please don’t look for my parents, I can’t go back!

Laura put her hand on her face and sighed. “Haaah…ok. Your shift is from 8 to midnight. 5 nights a week, 100 reais a night. Can you start tonight?”

“Yes I can! Thank you Thank you Thank you!” Henrique put his feet together and bowed in front of his new boss.

“Lift your head, kid. Stay safe on your way home.”

“Right, thank you.” Henrique walked out of the club relieved and excited. Before he stepped through the door, taking his phone out of his pocket to communicate his triumph and warn his friends he wouldn’t be back early.

18:14=> BloodyMess: I got a job! I’ll be back home after midnight.

18:15=> Tinysaster: Niiiiice =D

18:15=>SownTogether: Congratulations, Henrique. I appreciate your efforts to contribute to our funds. Be careful on your return.

…

The “Treasure Hoard” store was an old acquaintance of Henrique’s. Introduced to him by his friend Benjamin, who would frequently send him images of shirts, books and tabletop games from their website. Henrique had even had a few items of theirs delivered to Benjamin’s address for birthdays and Christmas over the years. Today was just his first time doing it in person.

RPG bestiaries were always a good option. Benjamin would spend hours reading and rereading about the skills and origins of curious creatures. Tabletop games were also great, it would be nice to have more to do in that little hotel room. Would a poster be cool? A small personal touch to make their living space into a home?

Henrique tapped his foot indecisively when a thick book purposefully styled to look ancient fresh out of the store got his attention. With the words Grimorium Arcanum written in quite a fancy font on the cover along with a series of colorful circular symbols representing elements like fire, ice, lightning, earth, and some more abstract ones that Henrique couldn’t get at first glance, this was exactly the kind of thing Benjamin would love.

The book was, clearly, just a stylized journal. But the paper and binding were very neat and it came with a beautiful fountain pen. Hey, hadn’t Benjamin said his power came from language or something like that? Perhaps a grimoire would be really useful for him, and maybe the fantasy of being a powerful wizard could make him more comfortable with the sudden arrival of the supernatural kicking down everything he know about his life.

“Excuse me, how much is this notebook?”

“89 reais and 90 cents.”

Shit.

…

“You already back, kid? Your shift is still an hour away.” Laura was wiping down the bar when he arrived.

“Could I uh… could I get an advance for today? Possibly in the form of a meal? I… miscounted the money I had with me and spent it on a gift for my friend.” Henrique stared at his feet, avoiding eye contact. He felt very small making this request even though he was taller than his boss by about 10 centimeters.

Laura leant her elbow on the counter, leaning her chin on her knuckles and regarding him for a few seconds with… interest? Care? Whatever it was, it was foreign to Henrique, his parents and trainers didn’t spent this long deciding anything for him.

“Pedro! Bring a number 1 special, and some fries!” She shouted towards the back of the club, then turned to the drinks behind her. “Do you drink, kid?”

“Just juice, m’am.”

“Smart.” Laure started pressing some orange juice. Henrique felt as if he’d just passed a test.

Henrique really relished his dinner, it was just bar fast food. But it was still a few levels above canned food and microwaved noodles.

“Damm, kid, you’re really going to town on that burger.”  She leaned over the counter, with a fond smile.

Henrique knew that comment didn’t need an answer, yet he still searched his head for an explanation, so way to not say this was the first real food he’d eaten in a few years depending on what counted as “real”. Even if he didn’t really need to say something, he still spoke “thank you for the meal,” through a full mouth.

…

The hours of work went by swiftly. No one caused problems, and Henrique felt like being a teenager helped him identify other people his age or younger with fake ID’s and formal outfits clearly contrasted by their youthful faces.

It was dark out when Henrique went home, but there were lots of lamp posts on the way home so he didn’t imagine himself getting lost. He liked the dark, either way, it meant no one was watching, he could rest. It wasn’t time for training.

At home there would be friends waiting for him. He’d hand Benjamin the diary and he’d jump up in joy, flipping through the pages and scribbling with the pen to test it. Maybe he’d hug Henrique, that would be nice. Elizabeth would make a subtle tense expression, but she’d relax if he reminded her of the job, this was just a little treat. A small thing they could have because they wanted it, and not because they needed it. Maybe she’d hug him too. Henrique took out his phone to contact his friends:

00:10=>BloodyMess: Coming home

=>BloodyMess: Are yo

Someone’s behind him. Two voices, “Heyheyhey! Hand it over”.  Henrique turned, too late, two young men close behind, too close to run. Just a little shorter and older than him. He pulled his bag and phone close on instinct and-

The world spun around Henrique as a fist connected to the side of head throwing it to the right, it hurts. Raise your fists, defend yourself. Henrique blocked the next punch, think of a counter at-

A punch coming from the opposite direction shoved Henrique down and to the left. Fuck, there’s two of them, no time to think. Hold on to your things, don’t let them take what you have.

“Choke him out!” One of the men said, and the other was already pulling him from behind into a headlock. Pressure on his neck, Henrique knew the next steps, it would get dark, his legs would lose balance, his arms would get weak, and he’d lose consciousness. He’d lose everything he’d gained.

No.

“Grab the legs, take out his support. Bring him down, his grip will have to loosen.” His father’s voice echoed in Henrique’s head. He held onto the back of his assailant’s knee and threw himself backwards, forcing them both onto the ground. He used the chance to roll out of the man’s arms and try to stand up, but it was too late. A kick to the face and he’s back on the floor.

Henrique put his arms around his head. Direct hits there could be very dangerous. The man he’d knocked down quickly got up and joined the other in kicking the boy continuously, cruelly, to punish him for defending himself.

“When facing multiple opponents, be aggressive. Eliminate them as quickly as possible, in a prolonged fight you will always lose, even with a large advantage in skill.” Henrique took his switchblade from his jacket pocket and slashed horizontally with a yell, scoring a glancing blow at one of his aggressors’ leg while they backed away.

Henrique stood and lunged at one of the men in less than a second. He was going to stab his blade into the throat. He’d win, he’d be the strongest. He’d kill! Kill! Kill them both-

No…

Nonono no. He saw the robber’s face, scared. This guy couldn’t be more than 20 years old. Henrique wasn’t going to kill again! He didn’t want to be this kind of animal! He wouldn’t-

Steel, cold. It started as a sting in his belly, then the wetness, then the pain. It seems Henrique wasn’t the only one here with a knife. It Hurts, it hurts, it hurts. He fucked up, he’s so stupid. He should have killed them when he had the chance. The robber forcefully ripped out the knife, bringing fresh pain upon Henrique. Then he stabbed at the boy’s chest. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He’s gonna die and lose everything because he wasn’t strong enough to kill.

No!

Henrique held the forearm of the knife man in a death grip a few centimeters from his chest. He felt unnatural strength surging from inside him. His hand had grown that green scaled covering again. He squeezed, and felt bones crack under the pressure.

The robber screamed in pain and fear, dropping the knife and backing away in panic. Before the other one could react, a growl bubbled up from Henrique’s guts and came out as a roar as he struck him open-palmed on the cheek, leaving slash marks with his nails turned claws.

The desert street seemed to take on an orange glow as Henrique watched his two attackers step back hesitantly, then flee in terror turning their backs on the injured boy.

Breathing heavily, Henrique leaned his back against the wall and let himself slide down. He’d won. He’d gotten out alive, kept what was his and not killed anybody. He’d won. Henrique looked down and saw his shirt torn and with a growing dark stain. Could he keep using it after a good wash and some stitching?

Oh, yeah… He had to go home.

“I’m okay… I won… I’m okay…” Henrique repeated like a mantra, picking his thing off the floor and then pushing against the wall behind him to stand up. Home. Home. Benjamin. Elizabeth. Hugs. Home. Bed.

“I’m okay… I won… I’m okay…”

…

Henrique was lucky to be conscious enough to zip up his jacket before going into the hotel. He was still repeating the same words when he opened the door and saw Elizabeth sitting on the bed and Benjamin pacing back and forth, both awaiting his arrival.

“I’m- Oh, hey.” A tired wave was all he managed.

“Henrique!” Benjamin came running towards him. “Where were you? We were worried about your text. Did something happen?”

What message…? “I… got lost,” was all Henrique could say, “I brought a gift.” He weakly offered the shopping bag in his hand.

Benjamin’s eyes went from the bag to Henrique’s face repeatedly. “Tell me what happened to you, please.”

“You don’t need to know.” He’s okay, he won. He shouldn’t worry others with what he went through.

“You’re lying to me. You don’t trust me. No one here sees me as an equal!” Benjamin looked hurt. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

“I don’t want you to worry…”

Benjamin ran to the bathroom, the only room where it was really possible to isolate oneself and slammed the door. Wrong, wrong, it’s all wrong.

Henrique stumbled over to the bed, where he sat with his back against the wall.

“What happened, Henrique?” Asked Elizabeth, serious, but not accusative.

“Nothing much, I’m okay,” said Henrique, putting his left hand over his jacket zipper.

In one fluid movement, Elizabeth moved Henrique’s hand out of the way and opened his jacket all at once. The enormous bloodstain originating close to his stomach was revealed. “My god.”

“It’s nothing, see?” Henrique lifted up his shirt to show his skin had already regenerated over the stab wound, revealing a scaly hide in its place. “I’m not bleeding anymore. Sorry about the shirt.”

“The shirt really isn’t important at this time. Because you’re not bleeding, does that mean you don’t need help?” Henrique tried to pull the shirt back down, but Elizabeth didn’t let him.

“There’s no wound to care for,” he protested, but had no energy to stop her.

“Maybe, but I still want to care for you.” Elizabeth pulled off Henrique’s shirt and tossed it to a corner of the room, hugging him under the open jacket. “You were stabbed, Henrique. You don’t have to be okay right now.”

“I…” Henrique thought of arguments, justifications. But he was already tearing up, so he just put his arms around Elizabeth and hugged her tight. “Thanks…”

“Shh… I’m here. Don’t worry. I’m here.” She snuggled herself against Henrique, letting him come undone in her arms.

Job, home, Benjamin, Elizabeth, Hugs. It was all still here, it was all still his. He hadn’t lost anything. That’s good.

[fitzrove]

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Anything between an hour and a year... xD

If I'm actively working on something I'm a pretty fast writer, but I'm a frequent procrastinator and can also take lots of time to research and ponder things. I think my oldest WIP documents right now are from like February last year, with outlines in various stages of completion. I think considering the entire process, oneshots might take a week or so (unless I surprise myself and crank something out super fast) and longfics might take a few months.

✅ What's something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don't mean to?

I’ve written one dialogue exchange word-for-word two independent times. XD But it’s steamy dialogue so I’m not sure if I should repeat it here hfghdhf. Luckily one of those fics is unpublished...

This is really hard to try to observe from “the inside” :D It’s especially hard to distinguish between things that started out intentional and have become a habit & things that worm their way in without my intentions.

OH, I think I did think of something - I think I put this kind of snarky, self-aware, self-mocking/self-pitying wisecracking in the internal monologue of the POV character regardless of who it is - a somewhat prickly (sometimes genre-savvy or lampshady) running commentary on different situations they encounter. It works for Rudolf, who by all accounts was historically quite clever and not afraid of showing it, but I’m not sure if it really works for other characters. However, I think that might honestly just be something I project onto various characters from my own personality... XD I can be quite snarky and critical, even about things I feel positively about and I always worry about doing it to excess and alienating people.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Oh... 😳 I guess... I’m proud of my writing for how it manages to evoke emotion? I read to feel and experience things and therefore it’s a sign of good writing to me that it induces an emotional state in the reader (lol, how clinical) (<- omg I’m doing the self-mocking snark thing, see??). But yeah, I’m generally good at writing the feels. And I’m a pretty excellent writer on a technical level, considering English is my second language ;)