#I’ve only watched one episode of fuzzy felt and have skipped a lot of the 60s episodes

[somerandom-artkid]

Snufkin through the years

[fallingforunrealisticromance]

Look at me - Spencer Reid x fem! reader

A/N: I've written a lot of Hotch content recently and as much as I love it, I felt like I needed to get some Reid in there as well. This was a bit rushed so sorry if there are any mistakes in there. Enjoy:)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of panic attacks/past trauma, toxic relationships

Word Count: 2462

***= time skip

Any details from a case are made up, not based on an actual episode.

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My mind is not something I ever thought I’d fear. I just assumed no matter how bad things got; I would be in control therefore it would never be anything I couldn’t handle. Even when I joined the BAU and was surrounded by harrowing cases all day, naively, I assumed I could keep on top of it. In case you hadn’t figured it out by now – I was wrong.

**********************************************************************

We all collapsed into our respective seats on the jet, none of us saying anything. This case had been particularly brutal, and it took a lot out of us. We had nothing to talk about besides the events of the past few days and no one wanted to think about it more than necessary. I took the first window seat I saw, grabbing a blanket and curling into myself. The sun was beginning to set and watching it above the clouds would bring me some sense of peace. As cliché as it sounds, being above the clouds and watching the light slowly sink beneath causing there to be an orangey glow – everything felt so quiet, so calm. As if I was untouchable, like nothing bad could reach me. As I starred out of the window, I couldn’t quite get comfortable. Normally after cases, I was able to fall asleep roughly half an hour into the journey home, but something was keeping me up. This must have shown on my face as I felt as soft jab to my side, breaking me from my thoughts.

“You good pretty girl?” Morgan asked, leaning on the edge of my seat.

“Hm? Yeah I’m all good. Just can’t sleep.” I said offering a small smile.

“I feel you. I’ve been trying since I sat down but I guess today just isn’t our day.” He replied sighing. “You need a drink or anything?”

“Nah I’m okay. Thanks though.”

“No problem gorgeous. Hope your able to drift off soon.” He said before heading to the back for a drink. I sighed, turning my body to face the window once again. But before I was able to get lost in my thoughts yet again, Spencer sat down in front of me. His brow was furrowed as his eyes scanned over me.

“You okay there?” I chuckled looking over at him.

“I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” He replied matter of factly. I raised my eyebrow at him as I shifted to face him a little better.

“May I ask why?” I said in a light-hearted tone.

“Because you can’t sleep.” He stated. I wasn’t sure how to respond to that so I stayed silent, allowing him to continue. “You always fall asleep. You sit by the window, you curl up, and your asleep within 20 minutes. The only time you don’t is if someone’s talking to you. But no ones spoken to you until just now and your still awake.” He explained. I starred at him, in slight shock. “S-so I think what I’m trying to figure out is what’s keeping you awake? And see if you’re okay?” He concluded, suddenly looking rather nervous as if he was worried he’d overstepped.

“Look I’m sorry just pretend I didn’t say anything.” He said going to stand up. “

No hey it’s fine. I’m just surprised you noticed that’s all.” I replied quickly.

“Of course I did, I care about you.” I’m not sure why but that simple sentence caused my heart to flutter. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve always appreciated the fact that Spencer is attractive (even if he doesn’t believe it) but I’ve never thought of him in a romantic light. Since I’ve joined the BAU, we’ve always been able to lean on each other no matter what the situation. There was just something about us that clicked almost perfectly, there was nothing I couldn’t tell him. And even though we constantly got teased about being together, I’d never even considered it.

“Your right though, something is keeping me up.” I admitted, leaning back into my seat.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Spencer offered, copying my actions.

“Yeah I’d love to. I just don’t know what it is. There’s something making me feel, I don’t know, uncomfortable I guess? But I haven’t got a clue what.” I rubbed my head as I spoke, feeling the beginning of headache starting to form.

“Oh.” He replied shortly. I could tell he was trying to figure out what it could be, but it was no use. “Is there anything I can do?” He asked. I smiled at him but shook my head.

“I’m afraid not pretty boy, I’m sure it’s nothing. Was just a hard case you know” He nodded.

“Well, if you remember, o-or even if you don’t and you just wanna talk, you know you can always come and find me.” Once again, I felt my heart flutter. Why was he making me feel this way all of a sudden?

“Thank you Spence. You too.” The rest of the journey went pretty smoothly. I didn’t fall asleep but for the most part, the uncomfortable feeling left me alone.

********************************************************************

“Okay guys, head home get some rest. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” Hotch said as we made our way out of the parking lot. We all called out to each other before jumping in our cars and made our ways home. Even now, something was playing on my mind, and it was starting to piss me off. You’d think I’d be able to remember something that was bugging me this much. I tried to push it from my thoughts as I flopped onto my bed. I was so worn out I couldn’t even be bothered to change, I just wrapped myself up under my duvet and prayed that sleep would find me soon.

********************************************************************

“Come on y/n, you’re overreacting. You know I only did it because I love you.”

“How the fuck am I overreacting? I never remember asking you to bash someone’s head into the sidewalk out of LOVE”

“You know what? This is your fault. You made me do this.”

“I MADE you?”

“If you didn’t hang out with him dressed like such a slut I wouldn’t have had to do anything.”

“You’re joking right? God your fucking insane.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why not? Does it hurt your feelings?”

“Shut up you bitch.”

“I’m done with this. I’m done with you. I should have never gone out with you. I’m leaving”

“No you’re not.”

“Dan I swear to fuck if you don’t let go of my hand I am calling the police.”

I jerked upright. My skin was damp with a cold sweat. My heart was hammering against my ribcage. My head was spinning. I couldn’t breathe. The sheets clung to me as scrambled out of my bed and headed for the front door. My mind was scrambled, I couldn’t stay at home. There was only one place I knew I’d feel safe. I pulled my shoes back on and ran out my front door before I begun sprinting down the road. I didn’t trust myself to drive right now.

******************************************************************

As I walked up the stairs of the apartment complex, very much out of breath, I begun second guessing my idea. It was literally 3 in the morning. But before I could convince myself otherwise, I raised my hand to knock on his door. I shouldn’t be here. He was probably asleep. Just as I turned to leave, the door swung open.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” A very dishevelled looking Spencer asked.

“Um yeah, no I just- I’m sorry I shouldn’t have woken you” I replied, fidgeting with my hands.

“It’s fine I’d actually fallen asleep on the sofa, so you did me a favour if anything.” He said with a soft chuckle. I couldn’t focus on his words, my mind still spinning. I could feel my breathing begin to quicken again. I was losing it.

“Hey, what’s going on?” His voice sounded muffled, as if he wasn’t stood right in front of me.

“I-I can’t breathe” I stammered. My legs felt as if they were about to give way. Before I could do anything else, I felt spencer wrap his arms around me and walk me into his apartment. He moved me to the sofa before closing the door and sitting down in front of me.

“What’s going on? Please I want to help but I need you to talk to me.” His voice sounded sincere. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my thoughts.

“I-I knew him.” I stammered, my hands trembling.

“Knew who?” He asked gently.

“I dated him. I don’t remember him being violent but then this one time- oh god. It’s my fault. I did this. T-they died because of me.” By this point, tears were streaming steadily down my face.

“What? Y/N who died? What do you mean you knew him?”

“THE FUCKING UNSUB SPENCER” I yelled, hysterically. I ran my fingers through my hair frantically. “I dated him. Ages ago. I don’t know how I didn’t recognise him. I think, no no I know, I was his stressor.” I explained, breathing heavily. Spencer starred at me. You know it’s bad when you render the boy genius himself speechless. “There was this guy I was friends with at the time, while I was dating Dan.”

“The unsub?” He cut in.

“Yes. Anyway, I’d been friends with this guy before I’d met dan, but they’d never liked each other. And then one night, I’d gone out. It was some sort of occasion, like a celebration thing I don’t know it’s all a bit fuzzy. I was wearing a dress and it wasn’t anything too bad, but it was showing off a decent amount of skin. I don’t really know how but dan turned up where we were and beat the living crap out of my friend. He ended up going to hospital. But that was the last time I saw dan, I left him that night. That has to of been his stressor.” I concluded, resting my head against the back of his sofa.

“You know it’s not uncommon for the brain to repress traumatic memories. That would explain why you didn’t recognise him and why you don’t remember everything, even now. You were most likely in such a toxic, stressful relationship with him that your mind didn’t know how to handle it. So instead of causing you more pain by trying to make sense of it all, it simply pushed those memories back far enough until you’d essentially forgotten that part of your life.” Spencer explained. What he was saying made sense, I didn’t like it, but it made sense. I could barely remember my relationship with him. All the details were jumbled up in my head. “When we brought him in, seeing him in the station must have triggered you to remember him. Or at least parts of it.” I nodded at his words.

“Most likely.” I mumbled. I still couldn’t shake the thought that I’d caused all of this. The pain the victims went through, their families, their friends all because of me. As if he could read my mind spencer spoke up yet again.

“Stop blaming yourself. This isn’t your fault.”

“It is though. If I hadn’t-“

"It’s a chemical thing y/n. That part of him was always there, it just takes a certain situation to cause it to snap. I know it’s hard, but you have to remember that you did not cause this.” His words provided me a slight comfort. Not much, but enough for me to drop the subject.

“I’m sorry to have put all this on you this late.” I mumbled.

“Don’t be. I’m glad you felt you could talk to me about this.” He replied, shifting so he was sitting next to me rather than in front. We sat in a comfortable silent for a few moments, enjoying each other’s company. I tried to stifle a yawn but failed miserably.

“How did you get here? I didn’t see you with any car keys when you came in.” Spencer asked softly.

“I ran.” I admitted, to tired to lie.

“You ran? You live like 3 blocks away.” He said, surprised.

“I was just so shaken up I didn’t think I could drive.” I reasoned.

“You should’ve called me; I would have picked you up.” He replied gazing at me. I felt my stomach flip. I’m not sure if it was the lack of sleep, or the fact that I was only now realising how much he cared for me, but in that moment I felt nothing but love for spencer. I studied his facial features for a second, appreciating how attractive he really was. The way his eyes shone constantly with eagerness and knowledge. The way his brows twitched slightly if something confused him. My eyes eventually travelled down to his lips. They looked so soft and inviting. Suddenly, I found myself consumed by the desperate urge to kiss him.

“You’ve always been there for me you know spencer? I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.” I said softly. He looked slightly taken back by my words, but his lips curled up into a small smile.

“You mean a lot too me too. More than I could try to describe.” Before we realised what was happening, we found ourselves leaning closer into each other.

“Spence I-“ But he swiftly cut me off, cupping my face in his hands and pulled his lips to meet mine. My arms found their way round his neck as I laced my fingers into the back of his hair. He held me carefully, as if he was scared he was going to lose me. The kiss was gentle, but it spoke a million words for the both of us. When we eventually pulled away, he kept his hands where the were as he slowly caressed my cheek with his thumb. We didn’t say anything, we didn’t have too. We both knew where we stood and what this meant for us. I just smiled at him, feeling like a lovesick teenager. Eventually he layed back on the sofa, pulling me on top of him. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist protectively as I cuddled closer to him. I’d never felt more at peace than I did in that moment. It didn’t take long for me to start drifting off yet again, with the rhythmic beat of spencer’s heart and the feeling of him tracing small patterns on my back. I felt him press a kiss to my head.

“Sleep well. I won’t let anything happen to you ever again. I love you.” He whispered, just as I slipped away into the darkness of sleep.

[flourgirl]

Heart Skips a Beat

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You work at a coffee shop on campus and develop a crush on the cute astrophysics major who studies there everyday.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Pure fluff. One curse word.

A/N: There WILL be a sequel to Even If It’s a Lie! Until then, here’s a little something to hold you guys over :-)

“I saw you on a Sunday in a café And all you did was look my way And my heart started to race And my hands started to shake” -Nervous, Shawn Mendes

3 p.m. had quickly become your favorite time of the day. Sure, you had already been working for half of your shift by then, but it was worth it. Because despite how tired you were from a full day of lectures, like clockwork, the cutest guy you had ever seen walked into the café to order a caramel latte and do his homework. 

You were a hopeless romantic. A homeschooled bookworm whose only experiences with romance were through the many YA novels you had read growing up. College was honestly your first experience with independence and having a social life outside of your mom, your cat, and your elderly neighbors, Brenda and Pat.

The first day he had come was at the beginning of the semester. You had just started working there to help cut the costs of tuition that your scholarships couldn’t cover. Even though you barely knew how to use the machines at that point, and it took you almost 20 minutes and one phone call to your shift manager to give him his order, he was still really nice to you about it.

By the end of the first week that he started hanging out here, you had memorized his order. For a stranger, there was a lot to like about him. He was super sweet and always dropped his spare change in the tip jar, a rare occurrence amongst struggling college students. He always greeted you by your name, which he only knew because of the tag on your uniform, but you didn’t care. You liked hearing him say it either way.

The more you learned about him, the bigger your crush grew. His name was Peter. Peter Parker, which matched him perfectly. He was an astrophysics major, and he was always busy. So what was he doing hanging out in the café where you worked? Sure, homework, but you had always preferred to go somewhere more quiet, like the library. Not some noisy little coffee shop in the middle of campus where everybody hung out after class.

In between making coffee orders for other customers, you would oftentimes steal glances at him. You thought about how soft his messy brown hair would feel between your fingers, or what it would be like to smell his fabric softener from closer than the width of the countertop that always separated the two of you.

But it was just a silly crush. When you thought about it, the two of you were virtually strangers. He had an entire life outside of the walls of the coffee shop, and he probably didn’t think about you other than when you were taking his order every day. Still, just when you thought about how weird it was to think about somebody you barely knew this much, Peter found ways to make you like him even more than you already did.

Every now and then, Peter wouldn’t show up, and you worried that maybe he had found another place to get coffee or came at another time because he didn’t want to see you anymore. You knew you were overthinking. There was no way that Peter was planning his entire schedule around you. You were just the coffee girl to him and nothing more.

Little did you know that on your days off, Peter was disappointed to find that someone else would be making his coffee that day. Sure, he started coming here to study because it was conveniently located across the street from the laboratory that he interned at, but it was more than that. He came to see you. To see your smile and the way your eyes lit up whenever he walked in. The way you still managed to look cute in the unflattering café uniform and how you didn’t even have to ask what his order was.

He had the biggest crush on you. The five minutes that he spent talking to you each day made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he took comfort in the fact that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same way about him. But he didn't know what to say to you past small talk. He told Ned and MJ that he had been planning to ask you out for a while now, but every time he walked up to the register, he chickened out. You made him too nervous, and he knew that if he tried too hard, he’d start rambling about string theory or something and scare you away. 

Peter thought about what kind of person you were outside of these four walls. Were you dating anybody? What was your favorite subject? Did you like pineapple on your pizza? He wondered if you even noticed that he was gone every time his “internship” at Stark Industries dragged him away for days at a time. Probably not. He thought about what it would be like to walk you to wherever you went after your shift ended, to make sure you got there safely, but he always had to rush off to somewhere else before you had finished working.

You had started experimenting with leaving little designs on top of his coffee instead of just haphazardly pouring the milk in. At first, they were just sad little blobs, but then you graduated to vaguely leaf-like blobs, and you could now make something that was shaped like a turnip on top of his lattes. You had been working up the courage to leave little hearts, but every time you did, you swirled them away and served it to him without any design at all.

Your friends would lovingly describe you as a klutz. You were constantly tripping over nothing or knocking things over. There was even that one time you almost broke your leg trying to climb one of the supermarket shelves to reach your favorite brand of maple syrup. But out of all of your clumsy mishaps, none of them lived up to what had just happened.

You had sworn you had looked both ways before crossing the street. But when the barrage of car horns and tires screeching interrupted your favorite song, you saw your life flash before your eyes. That was, until, you were flying through the air. Looking at your savior, you were both starstruck and shocked to see Spiderman holding you tightly as he swung from building to building.

It felt like forever before your feet touched the ground and he let go of your waist, but when he did, you were a little disappointed. How did he even know to drop you off at this specific coffee shop? It was insane, but you felt like you knew him. You just couldn’t place why or how before he saluted you and swung away without a word. “Thank you!” you screamed into the sky, knowing he definitely couldn’t hear you over the hustle and bustle of the city.

Peter’s heart was about to burst out of his chest. That was way too close of a call. What if you found out that it was him? What would you think? But he knew that if he hadn’t saved you, he would never forgive himself. Sure, you might get free tuition like that rumor people always talked about in middle school, but you’d also have a ton of hospital bills to pay because Spiderman was a selfish idiot and let you get hit by a taxi.

Your head was still spinning from what had just happened. You quickly changed into your uniform and started your shift, giddy with excitement to tell Peter who you had met today. As 3 p.m. came and went and there were no signs of Peter, you started to accept that the only person you’d get to tell about today was your mom. Go figure, you thought. You finally had something interesting to say to him and he doesn’t show up.

Eventually, after many disappointing coffee orders later, it was time for you to go home and curl up to a cup of tea and watch the latest episode of the Great British Bake-Off. It was ironic, but your favorite contestant this season was Peter, and every week was more and more tense as you worried whether or not he’d make it to the next episode. Sure, he was really good at technicals, but sometimes the flavors of his signature bakes were off. And when was stupid Laura going to get eliminated?

You were so caught up in worrying about who would be going to the finals that you didn’t even notice the guy walking through the doors just as you were leaving the café, knocking you onto the ground. 

“OW!” you squeaked as you hit the tiled floor that your co-worker had just finished mopping.

“Shit, Y/N, I’m so sorry,” a familiar voice apologized from above you. You squinted up to see Peter’s brown eyes full of worry, and at that point, you couldn’t even tell that you were hurt anymore. 

He held out his hand for you to take and pulled you up as if you weighed nothing. Still a bit dizzy, you stumbled, and he wrapped his hand around your waist to keep you from falling again. That same familiar feeling you felt earlier that day was rushing back to you. 

“Hey, don’t worry. I’ve got you, Y/N,” he assured you, walking you over to a table to sit down. 

You laid your head down on the table, both embarrassed and woozy from having your crush knock you flat on your face because you were too busy thinking about a televised baking competition to watch where you were going.

“You know we’re closed, right,” you groaned, lifting your head to see him staring attentively at you.

“Yeah, I know,” he answered, laughing nervously and running his hands through his hair. You wished that you were the one doing that instead.

“Oh. Well, you can if you really want to,” he said, leaving you confused as to what on earth he was talking about. It wasn’t until a few moments later that you were ready to curl up into a ball and hide forever. Did you say that you wanted to touch his hair OUT LOUD? TO HIS FACE?

Your cheeks turned crimson and you buried your face in your arms again. “Peter, I’m okay. You can go now.” If he didn’t leave now, you’d probably die of embarrassment right in front of him.

“Y/N,” he started, running his thumb across your arm. “I don’t want to go. I… I came here to see you.”

Your head shot up and you stared at him in disbelief. “You know I’m not the only one here who knows how to make a caramel latte, right?”

“Mhmm,” he hummed, nodding his head with a soft smile. Even in the dim lighting of the café at night, his eyes sparkled. “I hope this is okay for me to say, but… Y/N. I like you. I like you a lot, and I don’t even like caramel lattes but by the time I realized that I would never get used to the taste, you were already making them without me even having to ask you to.”

“Oh,” you replied, instantly feeling good as new. “I, uh...I like you too.”

You watched as the smile that never failed to brighten your day returned to Peter’s face. “So... Do you—would you, maybe, like to go out with me sometime?”

“Yes!” you replied enthusiastically. Checking your phone, you realized just how long you two had been sitting down. “But we should probably go. The doors were supposed to be locked thirty minutes ago.”

You grabbed his hand, pulling him out the front doors of the coffee shop before scrambling to lock them. When you turned around, you were standing face to face with the guy you’d been crushing on for months. 

Right before Peter could lean in to kiss you, you remembered what you had been dying to tell him about all day. “I almost forgot. I met Spiderman today!”

Peter’s eyes widened. He had hoped you wouldn’t bring it up, but then again, he probably shouldn’t have come here in the hopes of seeing you tonight. Play it cool, Parker, he thought as the two of you walked towards the subway station.

“Oh. That’s really cool,” he said in a tone that was suspiciously underwhelmed. “How’d that happen?”

“Well, I was on the way to work and I guess I was listening to my music a little bit too loud,” you started. “And suddenly I hear all these cars honking at me and WHOOSH! I’m in Spiderman’s arms and he drops me off right in front of the coffee shop. I mean, how did he even know that that’s where I was supposed to be? It was incredible!”

Peter really liked listening to you talk. He liked the softness of your voice and how excited you sounded whenever you spoke to him. “Huh. Are you sure you have a crush on me and not on our friendly neighborhood Spiderboy?”

“Spiderman,” you corrected, intertwining your fingers with his. “And no. I like you and only you.”

Peter laughed, thinking about how mad you’d be when he finally let you in on his little secret. But for now, there was no Spiderman. It was just you and him, and that’s how he liked it.

[captainsspnanon]

C2E44 - The Diver’s Grave - rewatch reaction

Watching Talks, they’re hinting about something big at the start of next episode….I think we’re getting the animated intro!!

IT ISSSSSS they just played little clippets (clips, snippets, the fuck am I saying) AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

LET’S DO THIS

Hello Taliesin, your mohawk is particularly fantastic this episode!

I think top table has fuzzy camera again.  They’ve been cutting to it a bit and they look more 720p.

Also, you can see Sam’s dice really clearly during his ad bit, and MAN I wish the green ones were Nott’s dice!  I can still hope, they haven’t been released yet!  So something similar, please???

Huh, I actually didn’t get super hyped when watching the intro?  I guess I’ve just seen it so many times that the intensity has worn off.  (also it felt slower than normal, which is really weird because the only times I ever watched through C2 at a faster speed was during the first phase of Lucien climax battle, where I watched at 1.25x.  AH WELL.) I told myself when I first saw it, and was suitably hyped, that I’d never skip it, but because I was binging the episodes HARD I ended up skipping it after just a few episodes.  This time around I probably won’t skip it because I’m taking this rewatch at a much more reasonable pace.

(though all the hype loss might be because I have MANY times watched and rewatched user uploads of live shows singing along to the opening, so that may be my new level of hype for it)

LOL Travis panicking because he can’t remember the name of his own ship, and Sam just roasting him for it.

I do love the suspension of disbelief that you have to have in order for a campaign to work.  They confirm that this is salt water, the magic is letting them breathe underwater, but what allows them to have their eyes open?  IT’S A CAMPAIGN IT DON’T MATTER they can see and aren’t suffering the pain of SALT TO EYES.

Mmmph, unfortunately the Sabian aspect of Fjord’s backstory really is the only aspect that was left unexplored in the campaign.  Sure the orphanage wasn’t touched either, but Fjord/Travis never really brought it up, so I don’t consider it a loose thread.  Unlike the majority (I think?) of the fanbase, I’m not actually bothered by where the Uk’otoa thread ended up.  If Fjord remained on land he would not be bothered any more, if Fjord got rid of the crystal literally ANYWHERE he wouldn’t be bothered any more, but by continuing to go on sea while still being in possession of the crystal, he keeps Uk’otoa’s eye on him, until eventually it’s stolen or he dies.  While it’s not tied in a nice neat bow, it’s resolved ENOUGH, at least if there weren’t options of one shots after.  Whereas everyone elses’ stories seems to have been resolved from major or minor points, the Sabian thread still bothers me.  Not that he got away scot free, but because we never find out WHY Sabian blew up the ship.  Was it for Uk’otoa?  Avantika?  Some nefarious scheme for himself?  Revenge on Vandren because Fjord got better positions?  We don’t know!

I really appreciate how Matt doesn’t punish a player for rolling a nat 1 outside of combat.  Fjord doesn’t fall through the floor or get muck in his eyes or whatever else he could have when trying to go through Vandren’s room.  Instead, he’s caught by emotion and memories, which prevents him from searching as thoroughly as he should.  It’s a moment that leads to beautiful roleplay, and not just a fail of a roll.  (though poor Travis is rolling like shit omg)

I’ll admit, I’m going slowly through this episode with lots of pauses and breaks, mainly because I don’t want to jump into ANOTHER big combat with Dashilla.  Fjord’s arc is really good, but it also has a LOT of combat.  (2, 9, 11, 14, 24, 27, 30, 31, 33, 37, 42, 48, 49, 56, 57, 58, 61, 62, 70, 71, 72, 74, 76, 77, 78, 83, 84, 88, 90, 91, 92, 97, 99, 101, 103, 108, 109, 110, 111, 114, 118, 121, 122, 124, 125, 130. So, to be fair, there are 46 episodes in the campaign without combat, which is nearly a third of the episodes!  Totally thought there was less, so I shouldn’t be as complainy as I am.  I do enjoy combat I’d say about half of the time.  Then about half of the remaining time I’m not bothered by it, and for the remaining section I get bored and zone out during it.  Maybe it’s just because this section has BIG combats with long lead ins…. We had the hydra battle, but with the jungle combat getting there and the escape sequence out of it.  We had the Avantika battle, with the break in getting there and the tense negotiations after.  We’re going to have the Dashilla battle with the ghosty creatures getting there.  Checked CR status for the next, we get happy fun ball next episode YAY!  There’s combat in it, but it doesn’t feel as BIG, per se.  And then after that we have two epsidoes of combat where Fjord is placing the crystal.  It’s GOOD SHIT, it all is!  But OOF does it feel exhausting to me at times.   Which is 100% a viewer criticism, because PLAYING it would be engaging on the level that viewing isn’t.)

(out of curiosity… 12, 14, 20, 24, 36, 38, 45, 47, 50, 53, 56, 57, 59, 60, 64, 65, 67, 69, 70, 73, 74, 75, 78, 81, 84, 89, 90, 91, 95, 101, 103, 104, 106, 109, 112.  So 35 episodes in C1 with no combat, for just above 30% without combat [not counting the one shots which all had combat]. Huh, honestly more than I thought as well!  I suppose in C1 we had a lot of ‘prepping for combat’ episodes too, which may have made it feel MORE.  Though I admit the fact that I didn’t connect as much with C1 also played a part, less emotionally invested in some of the combats.)

Sabien, Sabian. Vandran, Vandren.  Goddamn these names and me ALWAYS spelling them wrong.  I try to go back and correct, but apologies, it’s gonna happen.

I have mixed feelings about underwater combat in D&D.  It pretty much falls under the same category as a water level in a video game.  It’s usually in a gorgeous setting, it imposes some set of realistic disadvantages, and because of that it’s kinda sucky and gets really frustrating.  XD  Disadvantage on all melee attacks?  Ranged attacks auto-miss if outside the first distance range?  Makes 1000% sense! Also super annoying.  Movement halved?  Total sense!  Super annoying!

Despite having multiple clerics in campaigns and one shots, Prayer of Healing totally just feels like an Iconic Caduceus spell.  I don’t want any other clerics to have it (despite how beneficial it is!)!  ...Then again, I fall in the trap of not wanting anyone else to have Spiritual Weapon (used by multiple clerics) because it seems so iconically Jester, no one else using ...well, a LOT of spells that feel iconically Caleb, despite being fairly standard wizard spells (at least the dunamancy is new for him, though that doesn’t mean that any casters going forwards couldn’t use it).  It’s my C2 bias coming in to play.  Seeing Pike cast Spiritual Weapon felt wrong…..but Guiding Bolt is totally an iconic Pike spell, regardless of it being a very common cleric spell.  I think even Cad used it?

Does anyone think that Nott actually starts believing in Buttonbeard?  Her switching her tune on the legend was always a little jarring to me, as I interpreted it as her joking, but Sam says it with a level of sincerity to the point where if he said that Nott ended up believing it, I wouldn’t be surprised.  I don’t remember if there’s ever an answer to this in campaign or Talks, but I’ve read it as her going along with the joke once she’s calmed down a little from her anxiety.

As they go to break – I will never buy Wyrmwood for myself because they are expensive as shit, but I do like their full dice trays, with the little section for dice at top and then the full tray?  I like it a lot. :)  But when you can use something like the lid of a shoe box as a tray, spending around $150 on a tray seems….excessive.  LOL nope, $90 for the cheapest, but $328 for the most expensive, fuuuuck that.  Even their ‘little’ dice trays (which I don’t personally like because they seem too cramped for me) are $70 to $276.  Their resin dice are at least reasonable, but if I’m spending money on dice I’m buying the CR dice :)  (can’t comment as to the price of their gemstone dice, I’ve never actually bought really pricey dice so have no clue if it’s reasonable or not)

(apropos of nothing at all, if Sam had a beard this episode, I’d be thirsting after everyone.  They are just ON POINT)

I’m glad that Taliesin frequently had Caduceus speak to plants and animals, because with the amount that he does so, it feels like the few times that Matt had the flora/fauna listen to him and respond in a noticeable way felt very reasonable.  It gives a strong sense that Cad is always making requests, and just every once in a while it works out. (*gives a little salute to the fly that would have*)  A very reasonable balance.

Watching Travis absolutely lose his shit is DELIGHTFUL, though it does make me wonder.  This is a very respectful group, who would 100% respect each others limits and discomforts.  I could speculate on some things which the group does not play and if it’s related to someone’s discomfort or not, but I’m not going to.  But I wonder if Travis has ever explicitly told Matt that he was fine with all the ghost/scary stuff before it came up in game, considering his extreme reactions to it.  I don’t doubt that he’s fine with it!  I can’t see Matt NOT following up with Travis after a session had he not known beforehand, but it’s a curious thing.  Because it’s something that Travis is clearly uncomfortable with, but also something that he seems to be okay with?  Akin to the reaction of someone who is very frightened by horror movies and so watches them to feel that fear rush.   ...I think this is more that I wish I knew the limits that the group has put on the game, which I fully admit comes from a somewhat voyeuristic place.  I don’t need to know what makes them so uncomfortable or what topics may be so sensitive that they don’t put them in the game!  It’s something that’s super personal to them, if they even have ANY.   ….butikindawanttoknow.   *sigh* at least I can acknowledge when I’m being a creep.  (and for the record, the only place that I post about CR stuff is here or if I send a message to suicidallyreckless.  I don’t tweet, I don’t reach out to the cast, I don’t post on youtube or on twitch.  So at the very least, my grossness is very limited in the audience that it reaches.)

I also admit that I want to know a LOT of the behind the scenes stuff that I have no reason to actually be privy to.  Like what are post game conversations like?  What does on in the group thread?  Did any of them actually ever speak to another, whether player or Matt, saying that something that happened wasn’t cool and either want an apology or clarification?  Was there ever something Matt planned that he had to back off of because he realized it would come across poorly?  Were there lines crossed?   ….as much as I hate to admit it, I do have a little gossipy corner of my soul and I WANT TO KNOW.  But also, I absolutely should never know, because that is not information that anyone who isn’t part of the game should be privy to.  It’s like when fans ask an actor during a Q and A what’s the worst experience they’ve had on set/with a fan/whatever.  The person is never going to answer honestly, because they’re in the public eye and speaking publicly.  They’re never going to say ‘my co star was a complete jackass and had their head up their butt and should get punched in the face’, they’re never going to say ‘a fan was completely inappropriate and crossed so many boundaries that I wanted to say screw all fans forever you guys are creepy AF’.  But that doesn’t stop the little deep seated inappropriate curiosity inside us.  ….i’m just making myself look veeeery bad right now.  Again, this shit never leaves my head!  I never actually approach or ask anyone!  (I don’t know why I’m so concerned about what y’all think of me, but apparently I am XD)

...so I have my captions set to be 50% size, and every once in a while youtube will reset them to 100% and I am shocked by how big they are.  And I had them at 100% for aaaaages!  It was only during the rewatch that I shrunk them down.  Never going back!

“Fuck off, ghost!” Taliesin has said that he regrets having Cad curse here, but honestly?  He said it in his normal voice, so I always read it as Tal saying it, not Cad.

I love that Jester is super scared of ghosts (though I remember her being fine with them during the porn scene), and I love to think that it’s just Laura poking fun at Travis by making a scaredy cat character.

Paying close attention to the table, because I just rewatched the tower reveal last night.  That is such a comfort scene for me, and is basically the only section from C2 that I rewatch all the time.  Watching Liam shout “I love you” at his friends in character never gets old.  I only regret that he didn’t have something for Matt at the time as well.

Sam is so pleased that everyone else is so excited that Nott is immune to fear when drunk.

I really like that Caleb was the one who ended up scared to death, because imo when Matt is saying he feels his deepest fear well up inside of him, YEAH I THINK CALEB HAS THE WORST DEEPEST FEAR OF THE BUNCH.  Makes sense he’d be the one PTSD’d to death!

Sam lending Laura a d8 and then singing that his die rolled the best of the three.  ILU YOU GOOBER

Even though Dashilla should have died (poor math kept her alive), I’m really glad she’s still around.  There’s a sense of naturalness about her, she’s something that is existing in the world and having impact on her own. I like that she still remains, still causing her shipwrecks, still stealing her treasure.  I have similar feelings about Gelidon still being alive.  It makes sense that these powerful creatures that are in some ways a force of nature upon the world aren’t just resolved by a small group of assholes swinging some blades and doing some magic.  I consider it once of the big differences between the M9 and VM, and it’s appreciated.  Smaller heros doesn’t make them less heroic.

Ooooof, Liam is giving me the CREEPS here, his face is so fucking intense.  Caleb is being so calculating at this moment, and it really does play out so well.  It also pays off by 111 where the altar of Dashilla is no more than a book table for Fjord because of how much Caleb cares, as compared to a transactional exchange for favors and support that it was here.  (also I love that Liam is willing to go to 1hp for this XD He’s not AS much of a button pusher, but he sure does love the results of having buttons pushed)

OOoo I REALLY like how Travis and Liam play the handshake moment.  You can TELL that to Fjord, the cut palms touching really is a blood brothers thing, there is so much meaning to it in that moment, for past and future relations.  And you can see that Caleb, while not disrespecting it, doesn’t attach the same emotions to it (and we find out in Talks that he don’t give a crap at all, except for knowing it matter to Fjord, which gives him leverage).  THEY ARE ALL SUCH GOOD ACTORS

I wonder if Ashley had been there, if Yasha would have donated blood.  I can’t see Yasha deciding to do that this early on, but Ashley is a big button pusher too.

Best way to end an episode, Travis fucking LOSING it when he realizes how badly he nearly fucked them over.

….nope it ends with Caleb spending hours writing letters to his dead parents.  OUCH MY HEART

@suicidallyreckless

[butlerbarb]

Comfort (Leviathan x Reader)

i should start by saying sorry for just disappearing out of nowhere. i think i just had too much on my plate and burnt myself out. which then caused me to spiral into a depressive episode and lose all motivation to work on something. 

with that being said, i wanted to write something about how i've been feeling as a way to vent it. i also wanted it to be comfy and nice and i really just wanted leviathan to hug me and tell me everything is okay :) i hope you enjoy this very soft and self indulgent fic bc i love leviathan more than anything

also! i am working on requests, so expect those out within the next few days or so!

ily <3

It had been one of those days. Well, really it had been one of those weeks. Those days where you just didn’t want to leave your bed, more comfortable to hide away by yourself as to not bother anyone with how out of it you were feeling. Of course, Lucifer would probably have your head if he found out you were skipping classes, so you went about your days pretending you were fine.

Leviathan had invited you to his room after school, you hadn’t been able to focus on what he was telling you at breakfast – your mind too fuzzy from having just woken up combined with the fuzziness your off mood had brought on. But knowing the otaku demon, it was either anime or a new video game he bought. His enthusiasm and passion for his interests was something that never failed to bring a smile to your face, even when you were feeling down.

Your day at school, thankfully, passed by in a blur. Mammon made a point of bragging about his latest modeling job he scored as he walked you home, trying to convince you to go with him. Naturally, he pouted like a child when you turned him down, whining that you were missing the opportunity of a lifetime! Thankfully he gave up when you told him you just weren’t feeling it, but you would be happy to take him up on the offer another time. He dropped you off at home after that, telling you he’d bring you something on his way back.

You were barely in the door when Leviathan was charging at you from the common room, rushing you into kicking off your schools before he dragged you up to his room. You tried to argue that you still had your RAD uniform on and that he should at least give you a minute to change, but he was hearing none of it. He waited all day for you to get home, he wasn’t going to wait another minute! However, that excuse fell apart quickly when you gave him a set of puppy dog eyes, letting you hurry off to your room on a time limit.

You changed into more comfortable clothes quickly, using up only 3 minutes of the 5-minute limit he gave you. You were back in his room just as he had finished setting everything up. You took note of the snacks that he had set up in different bowls around his room. Wow, you thought, this must be really important. Leviathan usually never went all out like this unless it was mega important.

“What’s all this for, Levi? Seems like a lot for just a few episodes.” You commented, grabbing a handful of chips out of a bowl as you sat down on the edge of the bed. You cringed at how spicy it was, some of the flavors were intense in the Devildom. Leviathan’s eyes widened as he gave you an incredulous look.

“A few episodes!? No, no, no. We’re watching the entire series tonight.” The demon explained as he removed a disk from its packaging and slipped it inside his PC. “This series, 10 Things I’ve Always Wondered About the Demon King: Facts versus Fiction! has been teased for years! YEARS! And they finally released it all at once on DVD. People have been speculating about it for so long and AH! I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH IT!”

You laughed at his energy, simply nodding as you reclined on his bed. He dove into bed next to you once the opening began playing, delight blooming on his face immediately. You let your head rest on Leviathan’s lower legs, expecting him to jump and practically kick you away, but to your surprise he didn’t even seem to notice. The show had barely started, and he was already lost in it.

It had been a few hours and you were only a few episodes deep. Levi had told you it had multiple seasons with at least 12 episodes each, so you really were going to be there for the night. It had been enjoyable at first, but after a while of mindlessly staring at the screen and reading subtitles, you slowly lost a majority of your interest. Leviathan still seemed fully absorbed, however. You breathed a sigh, stretching your arms above your head. You pulled your legs up onto the bed, crossing them underneath you, resting elbow on your knee, and your chin on the palm of your hand.

You let your eyes wander around the room, head filled with the same fuzziness as this morning. While you enjoyed the anime, and spending time with Leviathan, you knew it would have only been a matter of time before you were back to feeling the same way. You tried to act as normal as possible, not wanting to worry Levi or worse, distract him from the series he had been looking forward to.

You were surprised when the sound suddenly stopped, and you tore your gaze away from on of the anime figures your eyes had been locked on for longer than necessary. Glancing at the screen and then behind you to Leviathan, you raised and eyebrow at the worried look on his face.

“Are you okay?” The blue-haired demon asked, sitting up from his reclined positions to mimic your crossed legs.

“What do you mean? I’m fine.” You replied, giving him a smile, resting your hand on his knee. Leviathan’s eyes narrowed as he shook his head at you.

“You’re not fine! You seemed distracted this morning and it’s the same now. You know you can tell me if something is wrong.”

“Leviathan, I- “

“No excuses! I don’t… I don’t like seeing you upset like this…” He cut you off before you could say anything, mumbling the last part of his sentence as his cheeks flushed a dark red colour. You felt your eyes blow wide as the normally shy demon reached forward, grabbing your free hand as well as the one you had previously rested on his knee.

“Leviathan…” You frowned, watching tears prick the corners of his eyes. Wow, he was really upset about this, huh? You let out a sigh, deciding that if you were going to tell anyone, it might as well be the one who was about to cry out of worry.

“I don’t know, Levi. I’ve just been feeling… off. For the past week. I can’t really describe it. Just sad.” You admitted quietly, your eyes locking onto your joined hands. The silence was unnerving as Leviathan processed your words and suddenly you were extremely uncomfortable.

“Like… depressed?” You nodded in response to his question, eyes briefly flicking up to gauge his expression. He seemed indifferent yet stared at you intently. Your eyes widened as he let go of your hands and threw his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.

“Levi, what…”

“I just! I just want you to know that… You’re not alone and that I… I care about you…” He whispered, burying his face into your hair as he held you tightly. His sudden confession shocked you into silence, all you could do was wrap your own arms around his torso, trying your hardest not to cry. Although even your hardest attempt couldn’t change how overwhelmed you felt, and eventually you were bawling into his shirt, more than likely staining it with tears.

You sat there together for who knows how long, Leviathan happy to let you cry it all out until you felt better. You could have sworn you felt a tear or two hit the skin of your neck, and you fought back a laugh. Leviathan was such a sensitive demon, being brought to tears by the smallest things.

Eventually, your seemingly endless flow of tears came to a stop. You pulled away from him slightly, his arms still wrapped around you as you briefly used the sleeve of your shirt to dry any remaining tears. Levi slowly pulled away, hands resting on your shoulders as he shot you a concerned look. You laughed quietly, wiping at your nose as you sniffled. You smiled at him, nodding a little to let him know you were okay.

He went to pull back, hands slipping off of your shoulder when you stopped him. Placing both of your hands on his cheeks, watching in amusement as his cheeks gained a flushed colour once again. Pulling him closer by his cheeks, you pressed a small kiss to his forehead. You pulled back not a second later, beaming at him happily.

“Thank you, Leviathan.”

BONUS:

The door to Leviathan’s room burst open, scaring the life out of the both of you. Leviathan jumped back, pushing you away from him in surprise. You fell back onto the bed with a laugh, eye drifting over to the intruder.

“Oi! What’re you two doing? Why’re your eyes all red, human?” Mammon, being the ever loud and obnoxious demon that he was, yelled as he stepped into the room. His arms crossed over his chest as he gave Levi a displeased look.

“Are ya makin’ my human cry, Levi?” The older demon accused, pointing a finger at his younger brother. Leviathan rolled his eyes, completely ignoring the Avatar of Greed as he briefly adjusted his fringe.

“Aren’t you the one always making them cry, Mammon?” The Avatar of Envy answered, glaring at Mammon from underneath his now fixed fringe. Mammon gasped, throwing a hand over his chest in mock offence.

“How dare you! I only even make the human happy, ya know!”

“I don’t know about that, Mammon..” You teased lightly, snickering as his face contorted into genuine sadness as he frowned deeply. “I’m joking! Come here, we’re watching anime! We’ve still got tons of snacks!”

Mammon happily dove into the bed next to you, immediately trapping you next to him with one hand, while the other greedily dove into a snack bowl. Leviathan grumbled lowly, rolling his eyes again before shifting into a comfortable position on your opposite side.

You were glad you had such caring demons to help you out when you were at your lowest. You would never replace them for the world.

[purplekiwis]

“From the Dining Table” - Chapter I

Hello everyone, I’ve been enjoying reading your fics a lot, especially now with the whole quarentine thing, they never fail to bring me joy. I thought it would be fun to start writing some myself and that’s why I created this blog. I haven’t written a fic in over 10 years ( I promise I’m not that old, I was just a very imaginative child.) Anyway, I wrote this one based of a dream I had and then I realized it reminded me a lot of Harry’s song, so I just kept on going with the theme. This is a pretty long one, it’s going to be 3 Chapters. Today I’m gonna post the first one, I hope you (whoever you are that’s reading this) enjoy it and I would be super happy to get any feedback from you.❤️

You can read Chapter II here You can read Chapter III here Word Count: 8k Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Sexual References

Summary: Friends to Lovers; Y/N is a graphic designer working at a small studio in London. She lives a pretty ordinary life, considering she also happens to be friends with an internationally known musician. Which is fine... Until she finds herself having to face the feelings she developed for her friend, who's the last person she expected to fall in love with.

Chapter I - The House Party

Today was just another typical Saturday for you. You had just got out of the shower and dressed in your “sleeping clothes” - an old t-Shirt and a pair of incredibly worn out leggings, and cooked something quick for dinner, since all the plans you had for the evening, and for the rest of the weekend were to lay around the house watching movies from your watch-list and trying to keep up with the episodes of your favorite series you had missed out during the week.              

However, as you were browsing through your computer, trying to figure out what Riverdale episode you hadn’t watched yet, your phone vibrated on the bedside table. You let your head fall in your hands with a weary expression, fearing that it might be one of your clients asking for changes in the work you had just delivered 2 hours ago.     You tried your hardest to ignore it, for you had already decided that you were going to save the rest of the afternoon for taking care of yourself... which was a great accomplishment since you gradually and accidentally had become a bit of a workaholic.  

It wasn’t something you were proud of... but you were a proper adult now and that’s just how adultwood is. Suddenly all your friends were busy with their families (can’t relate), their partners (no, can’t relate either) and their jobs (yes, you had one of those now) and you didn’t have much else to keep you entertained, so at least you tried to do something productive with your time.            

Okay, maybe it was possible that you were focusing on work to try not to think about how lonely you actually felt... Especially when you found yourself rubbing your own aching back after spending the whole afternoon sitting at your desk immersed in your work. Secretly wishing somebody else was there with you besides the faces painted in the unfinished artworks laying around your flat... that were yet to be amazing pieces of art one day, according to you.

The only problem was that you couldn’t manage to get yourself to actually finish them, or even to work on them for a couple of hours. Why? You didn’t really know.  

All you knew was that there was no motivaton within you to focus on the things you had once really enjoyed doing. Maybe you were too tired to have a hobby, maybe you were already over those artworks, perhaps you didn’t even like painting anymore...          

The only thing that you knew for sure of was that you had became exactly who you said you would never: A young adult working for a small company with barely any social life, let alone a stable relationship, sharing a tiny apartment with her cat and the ghosts of her past dreams and aspirations.      So I guess by now it’s safe to say that you were definitely focusing on your work to forget about how boring your life had become in the last few months...      Even thought you really didn’t want to look at your phone, your curiosity got a hold of you and you checked it… Only to find a text from your friend Harry. Seeing his name on your phone made your heart skip a beat, as you rolled around in bed so that you could take a better look at it. It had been a while since you spoke to Harry... mostly because he had been busy, and you had been trying to avoid bothering him. Knowing damn well he would probably much rather spend his free time doing something better with his free time, since he was always busy as a bee, jumping between countries and cities whilst working on several projects simultaneously.      

You considered Harry a close friend of yours... even if you didn’t talk all the time and even ghosted each other for months on occasion, until one of you broke the silence with a text or a phone call. This time, it was Harry that texted you first...      

HS: What are you up to?            

You: I was just about to watch Riverdale...          

H.S:  What is that?   

You couldn’t help but to let out a little smile. Sometimes he could still surprise you with how alienated he could be from mundane stuff. You didn’t hold it against him, you knew he had a preference for oldies when it came to the movies and music he actually payed attention to.          

You decided not to bug him about it, since you were far more interested in figuring out why he was randomly texting you at 9PM on a Saturday.          

You : It’s just a gross teen show. What about you?          

H.S: Aren’t you a bit too old for teen shows? I’m home. Been here for a couple of days, actually.

You felt a little hurt knowing that he had been home for a while and was only letting you know now, since you were usually one of the first people he wanted to see after spending long periods of time away, even if it was just to come watch the telly and catch up over bags of take-away food. You shook off the uneasy feeling. After all it wasn’t like he owed you his free time... For all you knew, he could’ve been catching up with his other friends or even have someone far more entertaining over his house.  

You : Aren’t you a bit too young to be such a grandpa?

H.S : Good news is that grandpa might actually have better plans for your night.            

You felt your cheeks warm as a fuzzy feeling started in your stomach. You noticed you had been smiling at your phone whilst thinking of what his plans could be, and when you finally got back to reality your cat was blankely staring at you, making you feel aware of how stupid you must have been looking. “What? You know it’s not like that!” You exclaimed to your cat, getting a little embarassed by your own mushy thoughts.            

Before you could answer his text he sent you another one.        

H.S: Would you like to accompany me to this thing i have?        You sat straight in your bed, but almost immidiately got up to check yourself in the mirror. Yikes, you thought. There’s no way i’m going anywhere with a face like this... In the deepest, darkest part of your brain, you added: Especially not with him.             You: What thing?

H.S: It’s just a boring house party. Please come!!! I need someone to talk to.   

You: If you want to convince me, maybe you should consider rethinking your use of adjectives. I’m sure you do... just like all the other parties, right? 🙄         

H.S: Sorry, I meant AMAZING party!!! 😊  Also, it’s not my fault everyone likes to talk to me.     You : It is. You’re too nice to them.                     

H.S: That’s why i need you to scare them away with your moody face! Are you coming? I already asked Claire to save you seat in the car.          

You looked at yourself in the mirror, kinda wishing you had known earlier because you really looked and felt too tired (and ugly, might you add) to get out of the house. Especially to go to a party where you probably knew like, 3 people in real life besides Harry. Besides, you already knew that you would feel a bit out of place there...   Because no matter how hard Harry and his friends tried to make you feel included, there was always this feeling you felt... Like everyone else was judging every single thing you did. The clothes you were wearing, the way you acted with your friends, how much booze you drinked, how many crab cakes you ate, and even how much you talked, or didn’t talk... Going to these parties had undoubtedly showed you how cold and indifferent people could be about other people’s complete existence as soon as they realized they didn’t come from the entertainment industry...           Harry had tried to explain to you that they didn’t flat out dislike you... It was just that they liked to test the waters before jumping into a friendship with someone from outside the industry, since most of them had already been through bad experiences when it came to that topic.

Y/N had never really ate that one up, but she decided it wasn’t worth the fuss of sharing her opinion out loud. She still remebered the first event she attended to with Harry, and how he and his friends had tried to give her advise on what she should and shouldn’t do... Something she hadn’t taken very well at the time, because it wasn’t like she didn’t know how to behave herself at a party just for being considered an “outsider”. She had been to lots of parties. Smaller ones, yes. With cheaper beverage options and far unhealthier selections of finger foods she could nibble guiltlessly on, but they were still parties nonetheless...          

Luckily for you, people were starting to get used to your occasional presence at their informal house events, and you managed to get along with the majority of Harry’s mates as well, what made you feel a little more confortable... However you still always got a bit nervous before going, especially when you hadn’t seen everyone in a while, which was the case that time around...

You : I feel like i could fall asleep at any given moment, so i think i’ll have to pass this one out 😔 but maybe tomorrow we could do something?      

He took a while to reply, making you wonder if he got upset at you for not wanting to go, or if he was already asking another one of his friends if they would like to go in your place... You didn’t know what option you liked the best.    Eventually, you got tired of holding your phone so you put it down, a little too harshly, what made your cat tremble with the noise. “Sorry Tilly.” You whispered, as your pet got up and curled up in your lap, while you petted her gently behind her ears. “Maybe it’s better this way… right?” You asked, mostly to yourself.         

Suddently you heard your phone ringing. Harry was calling you. You got up in a jump and grabbed the phone, what led to an unpleasant scratch from Tilly in your thigh. Before picking up, you stared at the screen for a few seconds, just so he didn’t think you were impatiently waiting for his reply. Yes, you were petty like that sometimes.              

“Hey!”               

“Hello loser!” The raspyness of his voice caught you by surprise, making you shiver. You’d almost forgot how good it sounded.      

“No one uses that word anymore.”      

“Who cares?” “Good point. Hm, listen… I hope you’re not mad at me for not going...”       “What? You really thought I was gonna give up on you that easily?”     “Oh, stop it! I’m not going! Besides, even if I wanted to go, what would I wear? I literally have like ze-” You stopped your rambling, realizing he was singing something to you over the phone, you didn’t recognize it at first, but then you realized where it was from.     

“You're a mean one Mr. Grinch.               You really are a heeeel…               You're as cuddly as a cactus!       You're as charming as an eel! Mr. Griiiinch… You're a bad banana with a… Greasy black peeeeel!”      

It was a song from the last movie you had seen together when he had came home for the holidays. How The Grinch Stole Christmas. He was singing it to mock you by your choice of words, that reminded him of a particular scene of the movie. The way he was messing up the song with his gibberish made you laugh. Eventually both your laughs and his singing faded, leaving you with a huge smile on your face. “You’re an idiot, you know that?” You asked.           

“Well, thank you. Now... As a way of thanking me for my… astonishing performace, you must come party with us.”        

“You’ve got some nerve coming at me with that crap after you’ve abandoned me for... how long was it again? two months?”

“Hey... I’m trying to redeem myself here!”             “Good! As you should.”            

“Is that a yes? Please...? You’re not going to say no to me, are you?”   

“It’s a maybe... a highy dependant on me finding something to wear type of maybe. First of all, is it like…fancy?”      

“Hmm, not really… I think!? You never really know with these parties.”              

“Trust me, I’m aware.” There was a brief silent pause on Harry’s side of the phone, as you as you rummaged through your clothes. “What are you going to wear anyway?”  

“Don’t know yet. Probably like, some pants… boots… and a shirt?”         Harry’s vague description didn't help whatsoever, but you were far too busy trying to disenchant a decent outfit to make light of his words. “Okay!” There was a lot of shuffling from your side, making his eyebrows furrow on the other side the line, despite your lack of knowledge. “I think I may have just found my nice pants, but I don’t know if I have a nice blouse that goes with them... or one that is fitted for the occasion. Why am I so boring with my clothes? I need to invest in a better wardrobe asap…” “You can always come by mine and borrow a shirt… Ya know, If you don’t want to stand out too much.”

“Not standing out by wearing your clothes? Now that’s funny!”               “I’m sure you’ll find something wearable...”      

“Are you serious? You would let me borrow your clothes?”        

“Sure. If you want to.”  

“I don’t know… I’m scared I’ll rip them or something.”                       

“I mean, I like my clothes... but it’s not like I would kill you or myself if something bad happened to them.” “You’re so humble and reasonable Mr. Styles… How did you stay like that?” You could hear him briefelly laugh at your provocation. “I’m serious! besides, I secretly always want to know how my clothes fit on different people.”

“I’m not trying to spoil it for you but probably not that good... Mostly because I’m female shaped so they won’t fit me properly… Also, I’m not sure if you’re aware but you have this gift-”     “Oh, shut up! You can pull anything off.” He cut you off before you could either compliment him or put yourself down. “As long as you love it.” “We’ll see about that.” You challenged, noticeably way less hopeful than he was. “I’ll see you in… an hour and half? Is that a good time?”             

“Do you want me to ask someone to pick you up?”               “I’m good, thank you...” You answered, wasting little time mulling over your friend’s proposal. “But I would happily accept a parking spot in your garage…” You added suggestively, knowing he wouldn’t say no. “Sure! Anything for you.”           “Thank you!”   “You’re very welcome.”               “Okay, well... I better go and get ready now or I’m going to show up late.”   “Alright, I need to go get ready as well. See you soon. Drive safe!”           “Always do.” It took you a bit more than na hour to get ready, what meant you were already running a little late, since Harry’s house was more than half an hour drive away.  

You were wearing one of your favorite “going out” pants, they were black, high-waisted, carrot fitted and overwhelmingly confortable. You went for other one of your favorite pieces - a yellow silk blouse, just in case you ended up not fitting properly in any of Harry’s shirts.

You paired your outfit with oval style ankle boots you’d just recently acquired. I already know I’m going to regret this decision, you thought whilst putting them on.            

You had also decided to change into a matching set of lingerie just because you never know what can happen, right? and also partially because you knew you’d be changing at Harry’s, and god forbid he actually saw anything but if he did, at least it wouldn’t be your granny underwear. You put on a neutral makeup look, throwing a couple of lipsticks into your purse, just so you could decide which one to wear depending on the color of the shirt.             Finally, you put on a bit of perfume and grabbed your jacket, taking a final look in the mirror, staring at yourself from different angles. “I guess that’s about as good as it’s gonna get.” You mumbled to your reflection.           

Before leaving the house, you kissed and petted your cat goodbye, however she didn’t respond to your affection since she was already asleep on top of the clothes you had just carelessly thrown on top of the bed.      

You got in your car and drove off, thirty four minutes later you were turning into Harry’s street and stopping the car in front of the condominium’s gate.You took your phone out of your purse and rang him, he picked up almost immediately.

“You’re here?” “Yeah, I’m already at the gate.”               “Okay, let me open it for you and I’ll be down in a second.”         “Okay, thank you.” The call dropped and the large metal gate started to move, you slowly drove your way into the condo, trying to remember where the entrance to his garage was.          

You didn’t have to think too hard, because a few seconds later one of the garage doors started to open and you could see a pair of impecable black leather boots that merged with the bottom of burgundy flares. Yup, no need for more searching, You thought.          

You stopped the car, waiting for the gate to fully open for what seemed like an eternity, but it gave you time to fully appreciate the man that was slowly revealing himself in front of you.

You could start to see his top half now, he was wearing a simple white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, uncovering his tattooed arms. The top buttons were undone, exposing the cross necklace he always wore, he was also wearing another necklace you hadn’t seen before, his hands were hidden in his pockets, but you already knew that they would be adorned with multiple rings of all shapes and sizes. What a show off, was the tought that came to mind once his whole outfit was revealed, but you had to admit that you wouldn’t have him any other way...   

Finally his head showed up, and he was wearing a big smile on his face.

“Hey you! Better hurry up before this thing closes on you.” You were so lost in his smile that you accidentally let your car die, but you were quick to start it again and as he walked aside you pulled into the garage.           

When you finished parking, you got out of the car, being immediately greeted by Harry’s arms that wrapped you in a tight hug. You couldn’t help but to close your eyes to fully enjoy the moment. He smelled like his characteristic cologne, but since your head was pressed against his shoulder, you could also smell the fabric softner on his shirt and his deodorant.  

“You smell nice.” You mumbled under your breath.   “So do you.” He replied swiftly, resting his chin on the top of your head.          He walked you to the elevator and you went up to his apartment. After many minutes of catching up in the living room he led you to his bedroom, where his closet was. “It’s a bit messy in here, I’ve been meaning to organize it, but I haven’t really had the time.” The boy said before opening its door.

You tried not to look mesmerized by the amount of clothing in front of you, because you knew that one of the things Harry hated the most was when people perceived him as shallow or vain. Luckily, most people could tell straight away that his love for fashion had a greater meaning for him than to just look nice... And even when they didn’t, it only took them about seconds of conversation with him to realize how much of a ducky and kind person he truly was. Also, fairly recently he had been getting a lot of praise for his bold fashion choices, what led to a bit of over enthusiasm from his main stylists’s part and himself when it came to investing in it.  

“I promise I actually wear most of these...” He justified himself, noticing the enthralled expression you genuinely believed you were managing to disguise.

“Oh, don’t mind me!” You giggled. “I’m just slightly overwhelmed by the number of choices before me.”         “Well, take all the time you need.” Harry smiled, sitting over the edge of his bed and unlocking his phone to check the time. It was already past midnight.  As you finally gained courage to start going through his clothes, he let his back fall on the bedspread with a sigh and stared at the ceiling, and that’s when you decided you couldn’t possibly not try to mess with him a little bit. “Stupid… Ugly… Out of date…” (Reference (01:20-01:24)              

“Hey! Stop it, will you?!” He sat up again, supporting his upper body with his elbows that rested firmly on his lap. “Have you found my dress yet?” 

You peeked through the open closet to with a curious expression on your face. “No… Where is it?” you asked, disappearing behind the door and enthusiastically searching his closet for the item, suddently grabbing something that kinda looked like a dress, yet kinda looked like a curtain.           “Is this it?” You asked, stepping out of the closet, holding the hanger in front of you.               

“It’s not a dress, it’s a kilt... Sicko!”  (Reference (01:13-01:18)          

“Really? You had that one coming for a long time didn’t you?” You disdainfully smiled, shaking your head in disapproval. You could tell from his little smirk that he was proud of successfully tricking you into his joke. “Yeah, I was hoping you would find it and ask about it, but you didn’t so I had to find a way to deliver the line anyway.”            

“Okay, but for real why do you have a wedding dress in your closet?” You turned the hanger to see the strange garment from the front.            

“Cause I’m cool like that.”        

“You know what? It’s actually not as ugly as it seemed at first sight...”    

“Well, I would hope so ‘cause it was bloody expensive.” At the sound of his words you were quick to carefully hang it back in it’s place, gently rubbing the fabric to avoid any crinkles.

You kept looking through his clothes and ended up finding a almost sheer shirt that you liked. It was rusty orange with a psychadelic flower pattern that looked quite unique. Taking advantage of the fact that Harry was laying down and distracted on his phone and freed yourself of your blouse in a swift motion, trying on his shirt on as fast as you could. It fitted you quite nicely to your surprise.               “So, have you found anything you like yet?” Your friend asked, with his eyes still stuck on his phone.

“Actually yes, but I could use your help… How would you style this?”  He sat up again and focused his attention on you. “How come you end up finding the one shirt I don’t actually remember owning?” 

He admired you from the bed, letting is head fall to the side a bit, you could feel his eyes stuck on your figure, what made you feel a bit unconfortable and insecure about your body. His expression changed as he got up and walked towards you, making a little circle around you and finally stopping right in front of you. “May I?” He asked, reaching for the shirt.        

“Yeah, go ahead.” You lifted your arms slightly so they wouldn’t get on his way. Carefully, he started adjusting the shirt, slipping it inside your pants and gently pulling it out, until it fell down in a natural way.      

You could feel the warmth of his hands on your skin through the fabric, what caused your breathing to get a little heavy and out of your throat came a peculiar husky sound. Luckily, he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn’t even acknowledged it.    

Feeling a bit flustered due to his proximity, you decided to break the silence.     “You look so different now that you cut your hair…”      

“Well, isn’t that kind of the point of changing your hair? Why are you complaining? Do you not find me cute anymore?”  “Who lied to you and told you I ever thought you were cute?” Harry looked up at you with disdainful expression once his green eyes met yours. You could feel your cheeks getting warmer by the second. “Well you’re wrong because I am, in fact, very attractive.” He looked down again and undid one of the buttons of the shirt, what left a bit of the black lace of your bra showing. “What are you doing?” You asked in a startled tone. “Just trust me.”               “Umm… Fine, I guess.” You shrugged as he stepped back to admire his work. His focused expression broke into a proud smile as he moved to the side, uncovering the mirror just so you could see yourself. You looked hot, there’s no other way to put it. The color of the shirt complimented your skin tone beautifully, as well as the golden necklace that fell over your chest in a sensual way, capturing attention to your stripped neckline. “You look cuter than me, I can't have that... Come on, we’re switching. Take it off, now.”  Your handsome friend complained in a frisky tone, grabbing at the hem of his shirt as if he was about to pull it off. “I could never…” You challenged, feeling quite shy after his compliment. “Well, apparently you can.” “You look amazing though...” You complimented back. “Love the pants.” “Really? I think they make my ass look weird sometimes.” The boy confessed, turning around so you could check his bottoms. “I think your ass’s great.” You kind of regretted the conviction you uttered that sentence with. “I mean… in those pants.”

Harry sighed playfully. “I was enjoying the compliment, why did you have to ruin it?” 

“Fine, you can take the compliment then.” You granted easily. “Shouldn’t we get going? I’m sure it’s pretty late already…” “Ready?”           “Yes, let me just…” You ran to your purse, picking one of the lipsticks you had brought with you, applying it in front of the mirror while the charming man shoved his essential belongings into the pockets of his matching blazer and put it on, completing the look.       You noticed he was observing you with curiosity as you tinted your lips in a dark shade of brick orange. “Let’s go missy.” The boy rushed as you locked eyes with him through the mirror.   **

Even though you offered to drive to Claire’s house, he insisted on taking his car because he hadn’t driven in a while and wanted to before he got “rusty”.  As he was driving, you inquired him about who was hosting the party you were going to, since all he’d told you was that you were meeting your friends at Clare’s house and from there you would share a car, so that the whole group would get there together.          

To your surprise, when faced with your question he got quiet and you noticed his expression changing, he briefely took his eyes off the road to look at you and you could practically see the guilt in this face. “What is it?” You asked, wondering what he could be acting so weird about.  

“Hum yeah, about that…” He began to stammer, keeping his eyes stuck to the road.          

“Just tell me it’s not what I think it is.”    “Before you say anything, I know you’ll probably want to kill me right now…”   “Harry!”         “I knew you wouldn’t have come if I told you... It’s going to be fun, I promise! She’s not as bad as you think she is.”         “No Harry!” You fretted. “You know what? Just stop the car, I want to go home.”         

“Well, I’m afraid that’s not going to happen.”  

“I’m not kidding Harry.”               “I’m not dropping you off in the middle of the fucking freeway.”              

“Yes you are!” “No, I’m not.”   He kept driving and you let your body slip through the seat, crossing your arms in silence, resenting him for almost five minutes while he tried to convince you of how Alexa was way nicer than you thought and that she wasn’t really a bitch, it was just that her sense of humor could be a little off-putting sometimes. The way he was defending her made you feel even angrier, even though you weren’t really listening.               

In your head all you could think about was all the times you had the unpleasant surprise of bumping into Alexa. She was such a bitch! Always finding a way to put you down and make you feel embarassed. She even came up with a stupid nickname for you at Harry’s birthday party that she always made sure to use, even though she must’ve known you hated it.       “Just so you know, when we get to Claire’s I’m getting a cab and going home.” 

“Fine.” He jerked his shoulders dismissively. “If you want to miss out on a great time with our friends, it’s up to you.”             “When she’s there it’s never really a good time for me so I guess I’m good.”       “Come on…” Harry huffed, shifting his gaze off to road for a moment to check on his muddled friend. “Everyone was so excited to see you...”             You were mad that he lied to you, but you were madder that you had gotten all dressed up and now you weren’t going. You also missed your mutual friends and hanging out with them. You kept weighting the pros and the cons throughout the rest of the drive, and when you got to Claire’s house, after a little convincing from the group, you decided you were not going to let the fact that it was Alexa’s party ruin the night for you.        

You were still mad at Harry though. And having to go on another car trip with him, feeling his body pressing up against yours whenever there was a turnabout, wasn’t making it easy for you to keep your cool.              

As you finally got to Alexa’s house you could tell the house was packed by the number of cars parked outside, making you feel relieved you had a driver, because if you had to find a place to park it would’ve been a nightmare.        

There was a group of people lining up, and as you got closer you noticed two men by the door checking for the guests names on a list. You started to get worried that your friends might have omitted to Alexa that you were going, since you were almost certain that your presence wouldn’t please her any better than it did to you. You eyed their faces, looking for any sign of concern, however they seemed calm.

As you walked the line, you started to get more and more nervous, ending up momentarily swallowing your pride and pulling at Harry’s sleeve, in hopes of getting his attention without the rest of the group noticing. “Does Alexa know I’m coming to her party?” You asked as quietly as you could.    

“Of course she does! I told her myself.”

“What did she say?”    

He didn’t get to answer your question because he was approached by the doorkeeper, that asked him for his name. Harry politely greeted him before answering his question and being such a gentleman, he provided the names of the other members of the group.

The doorkeeper checked the names on the list and to your surprise your name was actually there. He allowed the group to get inside. All of you murmuring a brief “thank you” as you walked past the big guy.              

The door led to a giant lounge style living room, that seemed to be where the focus of the party was. To your right, there were three big windows, each with it’s own balcony, where small groups of people gathered to enjoy a smoke and the beautiful view of the city. In the middle of the room there was an open dance space, demarked by an enormous persian carpet, that was still pretty empty despite the fact the DJ was already playing.        

Behind the dance area there were two long tables, practically stuffed with different types of alcoholic beverages. It had to be one of the most diverse open bars you had ever seen at a house party.          From the ceiling fell party ribbons and lights, and the walls were adorned with baloons and paper decorations. You tried to decipher the color of the objects around you, but it was almost impossible due to the color changing lights that provided an hallucinogenic athmosphere to the space.

You looked around, trying to familiarize yourself with your surroundings. As your eyes scanned the place, they found couple of familiar faces, but they froze at a well-known face in the kitchen.        

There was Alexa… She was sitting over the counter, scrolling on her phone. Her glossy lips rested on the edge of the paper cup she was holding. The light from the screen illuminated her face, making her glittery eyeshadow pop behind the thick lashes that she was wearing. She was dressed in a two-toned metallic mini dress and knee-high platform boots. You could tell from her expression that she was distressed about something. Her stillness gave you the opportunity to study her face. Her features were quite angelical, something you had never noticed before.

The sound of something scattering on the kitchen floor woke her up from her daydream as she turned around to curse at whoever opened the kitchen cabinet. Yup, there’s the bitch, You mused to yourself.            

She jumped off the counter and walked out of the kitchen, making her way around the groups of people that were chattering by the door. She walked around the living room, trying to greet the people she hadn’t seen yet.

Your eyes briefly met hers before she approached your friends. They went for a group hug, in which you didn’t participate. Instead, you awkwardly stared at them while they hugged and chatted. Harry looked back at you, encouraging you to join them with an eye motion, you let out a sigh and moved closer to the group, what caught Alexa’s attention. “Hi Nutmeg! I haven’t seen you in a hot minute…” She greeted you by kissing the air next to your cheek, before looking you up and down. “I see you’ve upgraded your closet... It was about time.” The beautiful girl remarked, focusing her attention on the shirt you were wearing.        

You found yourself side-eyeing Harry, trying your hardest to ignore her taunting words. “I swear I’ve seen that somewhere... what brand is it?” Her question startled you. Prompting your head to tilt towards Harry, realizing he had mirrored the gesture to stare at you. You stood there staring at each other, both of you wishing you could read his mind. “Is there something I’m missing?” Alexa questioned, suspicious of your odd behaviour.          

“No, not at all!” Harry was quick to intervene. “I’m gonna go for a drink, anyone wants to join me?” He suggested, clearly attempting to brush off the topic.        

“I’ll go get the drinks.” You volunteered, taking the chance to escape and ditch Alexa’s question.

“Will you get me some jack and coke?” The girl requested, handing you her freshly empty cup. “Thanks.” She added when you grabbed it from her hand. It was probably the only time you actually felt pleased to fix Alexa a drink. “Harry, what do you want?” You called his attention back to you, upon realizing he was already engaged into conversation with someone you didn’t know.            

“Double Tequila, please.” You raised your brows at his choice of beverage. Already knowing that when he started the night with Tequila he would, most likely, end up drunk out of his mind. But you didn’t bother to try to coarce him into switching to something else. “Do you need an extra hand?” He offered out of politeness.        

“It’s fine, I’m sure I can handle it.” You spat as you left, not wanting to interrupt his conversation again.   

As the night went on, people started to gather mainly around the dance space, that was proving itself to be a little too small for the large amount of people using it. You were having a good time, but you were definitely not enjoying the feeling of getting rubbed all over by everyone around you. Harry, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered whatsoever. And as you predicted, he was already pretty out of it, prancing around the place and carelessly engaging into conversation with everyone who approached him, including people you knew he shit talked behind their back... The fake little bitch...       

You tried not to care, but you couldn’t keep yourself from constantly checking on him to see what he was up to. You weren’t the only one who couldn’t keep your eyes away from him.. What wasn’t unnusual, since he was such a natural attention-grabber. Howbeit, there were several girls and boys that were practically drooling at the sight of him. That wasn’t new either, but it didn’t make it any less annoying...        

When the boy finally made his way back to the group, he tried to convince you to dance with him by grabbing your hand and making you spin for him. You graciously brushed him off. Mostly out of shyness, persuading him into asking your friend John instead. He agreed on the spot... And once he finally managed to get his friend to bend at his will, they got everyone laughing and cheering, encouraging them to keep up with the tango dance moves. But it wasn’t long until the two boys had enough of the attention, laughing it off and joining the group again.          

Then a figure rose above the crowd. It was Alexa, who has just stood up on a table holding a microphone in her hand that she was slowly tapping on, attempting to grab everyone’s attention. “Hello, hello, hello my magnificent friends. How is everyone feeling tonight?” She asked, earning a loud cheer from the crowd, that she encouraged by clapping silently before speaking again. “Alright, alright... can y’all can shut the fuck up now? …I just wanted to say that I hope everyone is getting drunk and having a great time. You know me, I gotta be real with you… There are some people here I’d much rather had stayed home, but you know what? You don’t really bother me.” The girl shrugged haughtily. “With that said, I’d like to propose a toast to every single one of you motherfuckers that came to my party. Cheers, bitches!” She yelled the last two words, emptying her cup in a single swig while the crowd cheered and downed their own cups along with the host.

The fact that Alexa let you in had given you the impression that maybe Harry was right about her, but her speech left a bad taste in your mouth and made you wonder if you were one of the people she was talking about, you were almost certain you were. “What did you say earlier about her being a nice person?” You ironically asked Harry, that was standing right beside you.        

Your eyes were still stuck on her as you wondered if she would manage to get down from the table without falling. You secretly hoped she wouldn’t.            

He failed to answer your question, so you turned to him. Only to realize that he wasn’t there anymore. Your eyes quickly danced around the room, searching for your missing friend, and unfortunatly it wasn’t long until they found him...  

Your whole body went cold, feeling your heart sink in your chest. Your vision felt blurry, and there was a complicated knot forming at the tip of your stomach. There he was. Barely six feet away from you. With his back flush against a wall and his lips pressed harshly on somebody else’s. His hands gently caressed up the other boy’s back, that had his hands firmly clutched onto your friend’s hair and the back of his neck.            

You felt like your whole world was crashing down in front of you.            

Whilst everyone around you was enjoying themselves, all you wanted to do was collapse to your knees and scream your confusing pain away, but you couldn’t. There was nothing you could do and it just fucking hurt.            

You’d always known it would eventually happen... But nothing could ever prepare you for the feeling of watching the person you love fondling somebody else.    

In the middle of your agony, you noticed a pair of hazel eyes staring right at you from distance, breaking your attention from the heartbreaking scene. “Yo... What the fuck?!” You couldn’t hear her words, but you could read them clearly through the motion of her lips. She looked completely baffled by the state of you.

You stepped back, attempting your best to muffle into the crowd, but it was too late... You were certain she’d saw the devastated look on your face, and the glistening tear that rolled down your cheek afterwards.

You turned your back on the scene and pushed through the crowd, hidding your face as you stumbled upon almost everyone on your way to the bathroom. You locked yourself inside and leaned against the door, finally letting it all out as you sobbed uncontrollably and allowed for your body to slide down the surface, until your knees met the cold marble floor.    

A unexpected loud banging on the door startled you. “It’s occupied.” Y/N shouted, in the most composed voice she could fabricate.  

“It’s Alexa... open the door.” The girl shouted back impatiently.    

“Fuck off Alexa!” You could feel your blood boil and your hands trembling at the mere sound of her voice. “Just leave me alone, will you?”

There was silence for a moment, before she banged on the door harder. You tried to ignore it because considering your state, at the slighest provocation you’d probably lose it and punch her in the face. “Don’t be a fucking bitch, I’m here to help.” Alexa shouted again, but it was pointless. “Okay, fine. I guess I’ll have to ask someone to kick the door down...”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”          

“It’s my house. What are you going to do about it?” She challenged, knowing you couldn’t fight her on that. “You have three seconds… one...two…” You flang the door open before she could finish her countdown, causing her to tremble ever so slightly. “Quite the charm, aren’t you?” She sighed satirically, making her way inside the bathroom while fixing her dress. You noticed she was holding a bottle of Bacardi rum, that she promptly opened and handed to you. You stood there perplexedly looking at her, trying to figure out what her intentions were. “Are you going to take it or not?” At that, you abruptly grabbed the bottle from her hand and took it to your lips, taking a big chug and giving it back with a disgusted expression caused by the intense alcohol sting. Alexa took the bottle to her lips as well, but unlike you, her face didn’t even flinch. “What did you come here for?” The sharpness of your tone led her into giving you a dirty look “What do you think? That I came in here to make fun of you?”            

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did.”     “Just thought you could use a friend...” She explained, jumping on her bum to sit on the countertop. “And luckily for you, so do I.”  

“Judging by the number of people outside, I’m sure you have plenty of friends.”  

She let out a silent wheeze at your guess. “Everything isn’t always what it seems, Nutmeg… I have people that keep me company, but when it comes down to the real shit, I have no one I can count with really…”        

“I’m finding that quite hard to believe if I’m honest…”               “I know you are. So is everyone else. They all assume my life is just perfect. After all, I have everything, don’t I? I don’t blame them... I know I can be cruel and bitter sometimes, but I’m not the cold-hearted, super confident bitch everyone thinks that I am.”   “Why are you telling me all that?”          

“I don’t know… Maybe ‘cause I’m drunk and lonely and you’re one of the few people here that I actually like…” You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. “You’re messing with me, right?”  She, on the other hand, seemed rather confused by your apprehensiveness. “I appreciate people like you... Who manage to stay true to themselves despite hanging out with these people. It’s so easy to lose yourself in this environment... But I don’t think you did, and I can appreciate that.”  

“I’m just lucky to have good friends... If they were different, I don’t know if I’d stayed so nice and humble.”      

As the silence settled, you took the chance to sit down on the edge of her expensive looking bathtub. “So… changing the subject. You and Harry, what’s the deal?”  

“What do you mean?” You pretended you didn’t know what she was implying, hoping she would let go of the topic.

“I’m not stupid. I saw the way you looked when he was all over that guy… I confess I had no idea that you were into him. I thought you liked girls, I could almost swear he had told me that.” Her words made your stomach twist, and Alexa didn’t miss your distressed expression. “Sorry... I’m not very good with words. I didn’t mean to make it worse.” The girl added, trying to make up for her cold stance. “Here...” She handed you back the bottle, and you agreeably to a swig from it. “Does he know?”

“I don’t think so...”   “I don’t mean to be unpleasant but I think he thinks you’re a lesbian.”   “Yeah, I know…  he’s not completely wrong, I guess.”     “So, you’re bi?”               “I don’t really know what I am.”               “Oh, it’s okay. You don’t have to be anything, you can just be… yourself!” You locked eyes with her, briefely smiling at her motivational words “How long have you fancied him for?”

“I don’t know...” You stared down at your own feet. “Thinking back, I guess I always kind of have... but it’s complicated. So I just hoped it would go away with time... Besides, you’ve seen the people he gets with. They’re all gorgeous, and I... I mean, I don’t really meet the standards, do I?”         “And how’s that working out for you?” You went quiet, since you didn’t really have a good answer to give. “Okay, here’s what I think you should do. First of all, you gotta stop with the self loathing. It’s depressing and outdated. You’re just as valid as everyone else.”

“It’s not self loathing. You don’t understand… What if he pushes me away? I really care for our friendship and I don’t want to throw it all away because of a stupid crush.”     “A stupid crush? Didn’t you just say you’ve always liked him? How long have you known eachother for? Three years?”   “Well… Two and half, but it’s not like I’ve been waiting for him… I’ve had my fair share of relationships and so did he, I never did anything to change that. Why would I start now?”       “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you’re at a party, locked inside a bathroom, crying over him, while he’s out there screwing somebody else.”           “God, you’re certainly are awful with words aren’t you?”             “I take pride in my honesty.” She stated. “Look, all I can say is that I think this whole “crush” situation is, obviously, far more than a crush... And you know I’m right so don’t even bother to deny it. Therefore, I think it’s long overdue that you do something about how you feel, otherwise you’re just gonna be stuck wondering on the what ifs forever, watching him live his life while you’re unable to move on with your yours, and you deserve better than that. Anyone deserves better than that.”       “It’s just… scary.”   “Isn’t everything worth trying always somewhat scary at first?”   You ended up spending the rest of the night with Alexa. Sitting inside her large empty bathtub, sharing your shittiest life experiences and drowning your sorrows with the bottle of rum. She told you about her crazy ex-boyfriend, and how he had been making her life a living hell since their break up. Showing up uninvited at her work, her parties, and practically everywhere she went, despite her telling him time and time again to stop and leave her alone. You advised her the best you could, but as you expected, she was pretty stubborn and acted as if she had everything under control, even though she clearly did not. The night had taken a unexpected turn for you, however, at least there was something positive you could also take from it, that being the friendship that was beggining to fluorish between you and Alexa. 

You were so deep in conversation that you completely lost track of time, so much that you finally felt tired and decided to check you phone for the time, it was already 6AM.

You had seven missed calls and fifteen text messages from your friends asking where you were, if you were okay and if you were still leaving with them. You realized they had probably already left, so you just apologized for leaving early and informed them that you were fine. When you and Alexa got out of the bathroom, there were still a couple of people hanging around, but as expected, the vast majority had already left.         

The light coming from the windows hurt your tired eyes and your bottom half was hurting from spending so many hours sitting inside a bathtub. By that time, all you wanted to do was go home, take a shower and take a nap to make up for the all nighter you pulled, but then you remembered…      

“Shit!”

“What?”

“I left my car at Harry’s house.”              

I hope you’re enjoying it so far! Chapter II is hereeee!

[monstaless]

On The Low - Part Two

Author: @monstaless​

Relationships: fwb!Bambam x Reader, some JB x reader

Warnings: angst, smut, language, my possibly incorrect Korean (which I guess in the context of this fic is okay), some Vagabond spoilers (if you haven’t watched it yet, 10/10 highly recommend)

Song - On The Low by Justin Park

Word Count: 2.2k

A/N: I’m not sure how I feel about this. I hope you guys like it though! The third and final part will be finished and posted, hopefully, soon.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

They were going on month two of their arrangement. Bambam had no complaints. She didn’t expect much from him. He didn’t have to text her everyday. He didn’t have to ask how her day had been. Although he still did both of those things fairly often as he would with any of his friends. They still had dinner together regularly and she still watched his cats if scheduling had him out of town. The sex was only getting better with time. He had no complaints at all. Not one.

He still hadn’t told anyone other than Yugyeom about it though. If he had plans, that was all he said. Just a simple “Sorry, guys, I’ve got plans this evening.” Though they all exchanged looks, none of them pushed for more information.

Yugyeom, of course, was curious about the situation and always had questions. Were they just secretly dating? What exactly were they if they weren’t dating? Were they exclusive? Was she seeing other people? Was he seeing anyone else? Did Bambam like her as more than a friend? Did she like Bambam as more than a friend?

He didn’t have all the answers though. He’d never done anything like this before. He wasn’t even sure that he understood the situation completely. It was like they were dating, but still in many ways it was completely different.

Bambam: Netflix and chill? I can supply dinner. Y/N: I don’t really feel that great. Bambam: Oh god! Are you contagious?  Bambam: Am I going to be next? How long have you been sick? Y/N: No haha It’s not that kind of sick. Bambam: Oh...do you need anything? Bambam: We can still Netflix and chill.  Bambam: I’m bringing you something sweet. Be there in 20.

He was on his way home anyway and didn’t mind stopping by the nearest Thai restaurant to grab her favorite treat. Especially, if it would make her feel even the slightest bit better.

She opened the door and stood behind it in sweats and a sweater that was way too big. His heart stopped for a moment. He was sure of that. He’d never seen her look so cute. He almost told her, but rethought it. Was this what he was missing out on most of the time? What would she look like in his sweaters?

“Sorry, I know I look terrible.” She must’ve mistaken his silence for disgust. She brushed a strand of hair that had come loose from her braid behind her ear and looked at the floor.

“No, you don’t,” he argued, holding the bag of food out to her in order to avoid having to say more. She took it and looked up at him before even checking the contents.

“Is this what I think it is?”

“I dunno. Depends on what you think it is.”

“Mango sticky rice?!”

“Yup,” he chuckled, feeling very proud of himself. “I thought it might help you feel a little better.”

“You’re the greatest!” She pulled him inside, closing the door behind him. “Wanna watch Vagabond with me?”

“You finished A Korean Odyssey without me, didn’t you?” he asked in disbelief. She gave him a sheepish grin over her shoulder.

“I couldn’t help it. You know how much I love Lee Seung-gi. He stole my heart,” she laughed. He did know how much she loved Lee Seung-gi. She swooned over him every time she saw him: TV, magazines, commercials. All of it. It was hard not to know how much she loved the actor. “Also, I couldn’t just stop there. The suspense was killing me. Do you want something to drink? I have hot tea.”

“Sure, I’ll take some.”

She ushered him to the sofa and he took a seat to wait for her return. She handed him a cup of tea and a fork for his container of sticky rice before sitting down next him. Then cocooned herself in her favorite fuzzy blanket and reached for the remote.

He shot her a look as she pressed play on Vagabond without starting it over. He looked at her in disbelief.

“You better start this whole series over for me, if you want me to watch it with you.” He made a face at her when she hesitated. “I’m not kidding. I’ll leave right now and take the sticky rice with me.”

She pouted, but went back to the episode selection to start it over. She scooted in closer to him so that she could lean against his shoulder. Then popped open the mango sticky rice and dug in.

“Oh my god! Why would you make me watch this? That poor kid!” He protested in horror as he swiped at his watering eyes. They were still only on episode one. She didn’t answer and he looked over to find her asleep, cuddled into his side like it was the most natural thing ever. His heart skipped a beat. He’d never seen her like this. She’d never fallen asleep during a show and she was rarely this cuddly. They’d never been in a position like this. He didn’t know what to do. He could wake her up, but then he’d lose this moment. He could let her sleep, but then she might miss something in the show and she’d be mad at him. 

He turned his attention back to the TV, but now he couldn’t refocus on it. Not with her snuggled up to him like this. He made his decision.

“Y/N?” he nudged her gently. Then repeated her name a second time. She opened her eyes and then, realizing where she was, sat up quickly. “Do you want me to go home so that you can get some sleep?”

“You don’t have to. Sorry that I fell asleep on you,” she murmured. “I’m just super tired. I think I’m okay now though.”

But Bambam wasn’t okay. The image of her sleeping peacefully on his shoulder was burned into his brain. A glimpse of what he could have if they were more. Something he could have every time he was home. This was one of the things he was missing out on. This was the difference, he realized.

She was hanging out with JB. She’d turned him down for JB. He tried not to feel betrayed. He knew that she and JB were friends and that they hung out regularly. He also knew that his request to hang out had been last minute and she’d been planning to hang out with JB for the past week. She’d told him a week ago about her plans and in his excitement, he’d forgotten. She’d even told him that he could join them.

He couldn’t occupy all of her time though and he had nothing to be jealous of. He’d agreed to this situation. Even if something happened between her and JB, he couldn’t actually get mad about it. He’d known all along that exclusivity wasn’t part of the deal. 

It just bothered him that it was JB. If it had been any other member, maybe he wouldn’t have felt so insecure, but he knew that she was into JB. She’d been into JB since the first time she met him. Everyone knew.

Y/N: Sorry that we couldn’t hang out today. Y/N: JB is about to leave. I can make it up to you when he leaves, if you want 😏 Bambam: You know that I’m not gonna turn down apology sex.

“Damnit, Bam. People are gonna ask,” she grumbled as she stood in the bathroom inspecting the mark he’d left on her skin. She shot him a look over her shoulder and he replied with a shrug.

“You can use makeup to cover it, you’ll be fine.” He hoped she wouldn’t though. He wanted JB to know that she was seeing someone. He didn’t know why he was suddenly so jealous of JB. Maybe it was because the other day, JB had asked him about her. JB’s curiosity was making him concerned that their arrangement might end soon. He knew that she liked JB. She didn’t try to hide it. She got all smiley when they were texting and if she was around him, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him.

Lately, she had been spending almost as much time with JB as she spent with Bambam.

“What’s up with you? You’re weird today.” She pointed out as she sat next to him on the bed. Her annoyance about the mark had dissipated. She was genuinely concerned and he felt a pang of guilt for letting his jealousy get the better of him. “I’m sorry we couldn’t hang out earlier.”

“It’s not that. It’s just...work stress. I’m sorry,” he offered.

“You know you can talk to me about it, right?” 

“Of course. It’s just the usual stuff. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I should probably go.” He tugged on his T-shirt.

“Oh. Okay. Um, text me if you need anything,” she offered as she followed him to the door.

JB had seen the marks on her neck. He’d asked Bambam if she was seeing anyone and Bambam, still feeling guilty about being so jealous, fought the urge to lie. He told a half truth instead. That she was seeing someone, but he didn’t think that it was serious. When JB asked what he meant, Bambam explained that she and the man she was currently involved with were sleeping together, but that appeared to be the extent of their relationship. Jaebeom looked disgusted and Bambam felt a little bit of surprise that the truth had actually worked in his favor.

Until, JB spoke again and Bambam realized that it was actually quite the opposite. JB was disgusted that the man hadn’t committed to her. He didn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to call her theirs. Bambam pointed out that maybe she was the one who didn’t want anything more. JB made a face and stated that either way, the guy obviously wasn’t the one for her. Bambam decided to drop it before JB unknowingly insulted him more.

“You know that you don’t have to go home, right? You can stay here,” he offered as she started to get out of the bed. She laughed.

“Bam, I literally live an elevator ride away. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“I know. I just figured I’d offer. It’s pretty chilly tonight.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “My heating system works, you know?”

“Why are we still doing this? Why don’t we just make it official? I know you said that you didn’t want something serious, but this isn’t that different. I can give you whatever you want.”

“I just am not interested in being tied down right now. This works for me.”

“You like Jaebeom-hyung, don’t you?” he questioned, immediately regretting his childish outburst, hating how rude he’d sounded. She looked at him in surprise. It was too late to take it back now though. He might as well get his answers.  It had been gnawing at him for weeks. He adjusted his tone this time though. “Why don’t you date him? It seems like he likes you. You hang out all the time. Why do you keep coming to me?”

“Really? This has nothing to do with Jaebeom. You’re an idol, Bambam! You know what that means. Why would I want to date an idol, Bam? Why would I want to hide my relationship from the whole world? Why would I choose to date someone that I can’t be seen in public with? Why would I date someone who can’t marry me or have children with me because it means putting their job on the line? You said when you started this that you didn’t want anything serious!”

“Why didn’t you go for him first? Why did you choose me?”

“I just told you that this has nothing to do with Jaebeom. You made the first move, Bam. I told you the first time that I didn’t want anything serious and you said you were okay with that. You said that you didn’t want anything serious either.”

“That was before I knew how much I really liked you.”

“I don’t think that we should keep doing this.” She took a deep breath and shimmied into her dress. “I need to go home.”

“Y/N. Wait!” He tried to follow her, but by the time he’d gotten his jeans pulled on and made his way to the door, the elevator doors were already closing. “Fuck!”

He slammed the door and pressed his back against it. He was torn between trying to talk to her and just letting it go completely. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut. Who knew if she’d ever talk to him again.

Bambam was surprised to see JB in the parking garage of his building. JB explained that he was there to see Y/N. They hadn’t hung out in a while and she’d been pretty quiet for the past week. He was quiet for a moment before asking Bambam if something had happened between her and the guy that she had been seeing. Bambam shrugged and admitted that he hadn’t spoken to her recently, but he hadn’t seen her with the guy. He skipped the part where it was because he was the guy and they’d been avoiding each other.

“Geunyoneun manggo chapssareul joahamnida,” he offered as the elevator doors opened.It was his way of apologizing to her. He knew that she didn’t want to see him. She would’ve said something if she did. Instead, it had been radio silence. “Geugosi geunyoreul giun nage hal gosimnida.”

He didn’t wait to see if JB got on the elevator or not. He was pretty sure that he’d lost her for good either way. He would’ve settled for just staying friends, but he’d lost his temper and now he’d lost his best friend.

He couldn’t sleep.

When he’d returned home, JB’s car had still been in the parking garage. His mind couldn’t stop playing through the possibilities. Had she changed her mind? Was she taking a chance on JB? Or had JB just taken his place? He couldn’t believe that he’d let it go this far. He’d known that she had a thing for JB. She and JB had hit it off from the start. He’d gone into their arrangement knowing that eventually it would come to an end. He’d known that it would never be more than just sex. He’d agreed to that arrangement. How had he convinced himself that it might ever be something more?

He had never had the right to be jealous. Especially not now. They were done. She was free to see JB if she wanted. She’d always been free to see JB if she wanted.

[hopeperspectives]

An Extraordinary Haru-Found-by-Chance Day

For a drama I literally found by chance, I’m quite shocked at how invested I was throughout its run. It has been about 2 weeks past its finale but I am still closely following news and interviews of the cast (who seem like such a lovely bunch to be around!)

*spoiler alert*

So how does one become “aware”?

Extraordinary You is primarily about the lives of high-schoolers who are manhwa characters. These characters act with motives (controlled by a writer) while they are on “stage” (the actual storyboard that manhwa readers see, whoever these readers are), and in the “shadow” (their life sans the actual storyboard). Unaware characters do not remember what happen in “shadows” - giving “aware” characters the chance to do whatever they want (e.g., skip school - I wonder why they didn’t do more of that).

But, how do characters become “aware”? I assumed the very first character who became aware in Secret was probably Dried Squid Fairy (Lee Tae Ri), but how did he become aware in the first place? How did Dan Oh become aware beyond just realising randomly one day that she has memory lapses? Is the writer’s intentions for his/her characters to be aware and hence she recycles them on purpose so they have a chance to be aware?? *Mindblown*

It’s great to see Kim Hye Yoon as a less angst teen.

I’ve come to know of Hye Yoon through Sky Castle (which I suppose is where most people know her from) and then found that she was also in Goblin (as an extra... pun intended). I will not lie but I was half expecting Dan Oh to start screaming like Ye Suh as soon as she made her appearance. Still, it did not take long before I believed Dan Oh as a tiny chirpy bubbly princess. 

Although she was an extra in Secret, Dan Oh was in almost every scene there is in Extraordinary You. Hye Yoon probably had such a tight unimaginable schedule (given this is a live-shoot drama), but she delivered over and beyond. She was the cute factor, drama factor and emotional factor. I never needed to guess what Dan Oh was feeling or thinking because Hye Yoon helps me understand Dan Oh’s every move and motive. This. Girl. Can. Act. and we should keep an eye on her (her dimples are also super adorable).

“Haru yah...”

He appears as a nameless and rather clueless extra (who for almost 4 episodes had no face or name to his fuzzy silhouette). The first thing he says is “Eun Dan Oh” (during the summer camp after stacking her fallen rocks); which is really sweet since he muttered her name even before she named him. Interestingly, it is also the last thing he says before disappearing from the Secret manhwa *still collecting my tears*. 

It’s also interesting how the first word Dan Oh actually ever hears Haru say is “sorry” (while being lost in the woods). I felt it was so apt as that would probably be the first thing Haru from the previous manhwa would have wanted to say to Dan Oh after somewhat having a part in killing her *collects more tears*

Rowoon is a new face to me (and to my utter surprise, he was actually in Where Stars Land. Like really?! How did I miss his handsome face?! And Hye Yoon adding to her SF9 collection as she moves along... Hahaha!). It was quite fun to see Haru ver.2 and Rowoon being slightly mean (because how can that face be anything but a cute puppy). 

Haru’s character development was slightly tricky to handle. He transforms from meek to bold, from unnoticeable to in-your-face-Baek-Kyung-back-off mode. Hence I can understand when Rowoon says he gave a lot of thought to Haru’s thoughts, and he definitely made Haru believable. 

While we are on Haru, let’s get this off my chest, Haru’s ending in Secret was just pure cruel. Haru only had a life in school and now he doesn’t even graduate from it?! And I cannot deal with how Dan Oh did not know about this till the last minute. I guess such a cruel ending then makes the meeting in the next manhwa more bittersweet. I loved how they were just extras because that means they can do anything they want in the shadow while being aware. But I also want that manhwa to last forever so we don’t have to go through another separation and another period of unawareness. 

That fluffy fuzzy first love feeling...

*music* “Neon naege maeil cheot sarang...” That feeling is so palpable. Hye Yoon and Rowoon nailed the dating scenes so well. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen another love that is so pure. I have no more words to say. It’s just love in its most basic form.

What’s up with you, Baek Kyung?

Moving on to our other lead. There is such a strong Baek Kyung fandom for reasons I cannot fully understand; maybe it’s because Lee Jae Wook is such a cutie behind the scenes, but Kyung is really kind of a j*rk. Baek Kyung really only redeemed himself in the last few episodes where he was slightly more human, less mean, and more active in taking over his character setup. Jae Wook though does some pretty good emotional scenes for a rookie! 

Those other relationships...

Nam Joo and Joo Da’s relationship was an unconventional one. I actually liked how Nam Joo was never ever self aware. It brings the whole relationship to another level when a self-aware Joo Da decides it is more important for Nam Joo to be happy than for her to follow her true feelings. 

Oh bless Do Hwa’s heart, he was so adorable. I was a little upset that Do Hwa didn’t get a girl. He was such a reliable friend to everyone (especially when Haru and Dan Oh lost their awareness, he was there for them). And he doesn’t even get a role in the new manhwa?!?! I really wanted to see this threesome again!

Again I have never seen Jung Gun Joo, Kim Young Dae or Lee Na Eun in any of their previous works, which seems to be the running theme of this drama. It is a whole bunch of rookies (probably extras in their previous works) who are brought together to this project and they made it work. I also liked that little last minute story of Dried Squid Fairy and Soo Hyang (thank God he found out she was aware at the very end). There was no purposeless character (though barely scrapping through is Kyung’s brother but since Bae Hyun Sung looks remotely like Park Bo Gum, I’ll let him slide).

Who had that extremely challenging job of framing?

It takes a lot to put together an entire production on film; i.e., actors don’t just turn up to say their lines and leave. Lights, costume, makeup, logistics etc. are all so important in creating the whole viewing experience. It made us believe Extraordinary You was a real alternative world. Its camera work itself deserves a mention. 

The leads (or in fact Hye Yoon with any of her male coactors) are almost a whole 30cm ruler difference in height. While that is extremely adorable for us as viewers, it must have been a nightmare for the camera to frame them. While my finite knowledge limits me, let me try to explain why I am so amazed with the camera work.

Take for example this frame (from episode 21 where Do Hwa finds out about their relationship). These two screenshots were from the same shot that lasted barely 2 seconds. You can see the camera starts framed such that Dan Oh’s necktie is not seen (so as to have a fuller shot of Haru) before it subtly pans downwards which also then results in Haru’s hair being slightly off the shot when it ends. It is such a minute detail but it matters since the last shot properly frames Dan Oh (who is the one speaking at that point). Of course, kudos to the actors too because such a tight frame means in order not to go out of shot, Rowoon and Hye Yoon need to act within a tiny amount of space (not that we are complaining...). And this is just one shot of many shots in one scene of many scenes. *mindblown again*

Besides making Hye Yoon stand or sit on boxes which do not get filmed (e.g., above - there is no way a tip-toed Dan Oh can reach that height), I liked how the planning of the scene involved her going on other random platforms/ chairs/ stairs (which do get filmed) to create a different feel - so she’s not always looking up at them.

As viewers, we obviously don’t see that much details when we are fully engrossed in the actual plot. But yes, behind the scenes work deserves so much more credit than it gets. 

I finally conclude...

I never thought I would like a high school drama that much, but Extraordinary You had it together. It wasn’t perfect, but it was genuine. I’m still a bit on the fence about its ending and whether I like the idea of Dan Oh and Haru being the only ones aware in the next manhwa. But I like that I am left thinking. And I will probably be thinking of this drama for a long time to come.

Verdict: I LOVE IT! To watch again!

[wildflowerhigh]

Second Time Around (c.h.) | Part 5

Read part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8

Summary: Calum is a good friend to Harper.

Word count: 2K

Warnings: gets mildly smutty.

(Calum’s texts in italics, Harper’s texts in bold)

---

What are you upto?

Calum texted Harper, and set his phone down, turning his attention back to the TV. Ashton was sat next to him on his sofa, flipping through Calum’s Netflix. They had decided to hang out and have a quiet night in, sipping beers and binging random shit.

Ashton finally settled on some movie, and they silently watched, occasionally ribbing some character on the screen.

Almost half an hour later, Calum’s phone buzzed, and he immediately picked it up. Ashton shot him a side glance, but didn’t ask about it.

I’M DYING. HELP.

Shit, is everything okay?

I have so much work right now

I’m literally dying

You scared me for a second, idiot. 

Also, that’s not how literally is used.

Fuck you

I haven’t even had dinner yet

Also, I’m pretty sure I skipped lunch

Yep, I did

Look at me texting you instead of working

I’m so screwed, fuck

Talk later, bye

Calum pensively tapped his thigh, and looked at Ashton, who was still watching his TV. 

“Do you wanna go to Harper’s house?” he asked, and Ashton looked at him, eyebrows raised. “She has a lot of work, and she hasn’t eaten anything all. I wanna make sure she eats something at least.”

Ashton nodded understandingly, and then his face lit up, as if he had just had an idea. “Actually, you know what, you go. I, uh, have a lot of work.” 

Calum narrowed his eyes at him. “You told me you had the whole night off.”

“Well, plans change, people change, you know, blah, blah.” Ashton waved his hand dismissively, and Calum rolled his eyes. Ashton paused the movie and stood to his feet. “So, get her some dinner, and go be with her, you know, just you two.” He gestured vaguely.  “All alone.”

“Real smooth, buddy.”

Ashton shrugged and walked to the door. At the last second, he turned around and suggested, snapping his fingers, “Get some alcohol! That should do the trick.”

“I’m not getting her drunk!”

“No, you BOTH get drunk, and then…” Ashton raised his hands to make an obscene gesture, but Calum knew what he was going to do, and he raised his hand.

“Don’t even.”

Ashton laughed, bid him goodbye, leaving Calum alone in his apartment. His heart thumped at the thought of seeing Harper again. “She’s just a friend,” Calum chanted to himself halfheartedly, switched off the TV, and gathered his things to go out.

------

Calum rang the doorbell for Harper’s apartment with the tip of his little finger, while holding two boxes of pizza. The speaker switched on, and Harper’s voice crackled out. 

“Who is it?”

“Calum!”

There was a pause, and then the door buzzed open. Calum managed to let himself in, and climbed up the stairs, before banging on the door with his foot. He heard footsteps behind the door, and it opened to reveal a dishevelled Harper. Her hair was in an (extremely) messy bun, and the t-shirt and shorts she was wearing were completely wrinkled. She looked surprised to see him.

“What are you doing here?”

“You said you hadn’t eaten anything, so…” He pushed the two boxes slightly towards her. “I got some pizza for you.”

Her eyes dragged down to the pizza and she paused, seemingly processing his words, before smiling tiredly at him. She took the boxes from his hands. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He smiled at her, then scratched his head awkwardly. “Well, I guess I see you’ll then.” He turned around to leave, when she stopped him.

“Can you stay?” He turned back around, already halfway down her stairs. “I’m going crazy, just stuck all alone in my house, trying to work. Some company would be nice.” She looked at him timidly. “If you don’t mind, that is.”

He shook his head. “Of course. Can’t guarantee I won’t finish your pizza though.” She laughed and they entered her apartment, Calum closing the door behind them.

She had a nice and cozy place, pastel colours covering her walls. A sofa was situated in the middle of the hall, two sofa chairs on either side of it, and a coffee table and a TV in front of it. Obviously, he had been there a million times before. Her laptop was on her couch, open to what Calum assumed was her work. She set the pizza boxes down on the coffee table.

“Time to get back to work, I guess,” she muttered. She stretched, groaning, and her t-shirt rode up slightly, exposing her skin. Calum looked away, cheeks reddening ever so slightly, and took a seat on one of the chairs. She settled down on the couch, taking a slice of pizza, and placed her laptop on her lap. “Thanks again, for this.”

“No worries.” He smiled back at her, and pulled out his earphones. He continued the movie Ashton and him were watching at his house, and curled into the chair.

He wasn’t going to lie, he did occasionally steal glances at her. Well, not occasionally. Frequently. She wasn’t even doing anything distracting; her eyes were fixed on the screen of her laptop, fingers tapping away at her keyboard, every now and then nibbling into the pizza. He was entranced by how beautiful she looked when she was focused. He would then realize that he was staring, look away, and the cycle would repeat.

At one point, he realized she had stopped eating altogether, just holding the pizza while she typed, and he brought it up. “You aren’t eating,” he said.

She looked up at him, bewildered, then down at the slice in her hand. “Oh, right.” She chuckled, and took a big bite out of it. “Thanks.”

“You say thanks an awful lot,” he observed.

“Only because I’m a decent human being,” she replied, and smirked at him.

After almost an hour after he had come to her house, she slammed her laptop shut and threw her hands into the air in triumph. Calum glanced at her in amusement. “I’m finally done!” she declared.

“Well done,” he said. “I think we should celebrate. Do you have any wine?” As soon as he brought up alcohol, his mind went back to Ashton’s suggestion, but he shook those thoughts away. Those weren’t his intentions at all.

“Nope.”

“Gin? Vodka? What do you have?”

“No idea. Check in the upper right cupboard in the kitchen, you’ll probably find something.” She slumped down in the sofa, seemingly exhausted from her work, and heaved a massive sigh of relief. He laughed at her state and went to check the kitchen.

He found a bottle, and spun it around to see the label. “Vodka,” he uttered. “And unopened, by the looks of it.” He opened another cupboard, and grabbed two glasses out of it.

“I have that saved for special occasions!” she whined.

“I’ll buy you another one,” he bargained.

“Deal.”

---

Halfway through the bottle, the two had made themselves on the floor, giggling over an episode of The Office on Calum’s phone. He was leaned against the corner of the sofa and the chair, and Harper’s head rested against his chest. Her head knocked against his black t-shirt as she leaned back and laughed, his Empathy hoodie lying to the side somewhere.. They had positioned the phone on the leg of her coffee table. Why they didn’t just put it on her TV, he didn’t know.

A cute Jim and Pam moment came on the screen, and Harper leaned front, paused the show, and turned around to look at him. He gulped down his last sip of vodka, the alcohol burning down his throat, and he grabbed the bottle to pour himself another drink. His brain was already quite fuzzy.

“Who hurt you?” she asked, her words slurring. She was just as drunk as he was. He shot her a baffled look, and she repeated her question. “It’s just, you’re always on edge.”

“Am I?” he asked back. He tried to think back to instances where she might have made that observation, but he was too hammered to remember.

“Who hurt you?” she repeated again.

He shrugged, his mouth turning downwards as he did. “My ex, I guess. She broke my heart.”

“My heart got broken too, bitch. I don’t hate love though.” She poked him in the chest, and he giggled.

“Sierra told me you take time to open up to people,” Harper said. She turned around completely, straddling his thighs. She almost fell, but Calum caught her, wrapping his arms around her waist. They felt right sitting there. She made herself comfortable, and then looked at him, scrutinizing his face. “You let me in pretty quick.”

Because it’s you, Calum thought.

She looked at him, confused. “What’s so special about me?” she asked, and he realized he had said his thought out loud.

“Uh… it’s you, that’s all.” He shrugged nonchalantly, and he could see the gears in her head twisting. “I don’t hate love,” he clarified. “I’m scared, I guess. It’s just, if I let people in, it’s easier for them to walk out, you know?” He actually got serious for a moment, and considered what he had said. He tended not to talk about all this, but letting it out felt nice. 

“That’s the most cliché fucking thing ever,” she said, and he raised his eyebrows at her. “But it makes sense.” He nodded. His fingers absentmindedly slipped a little under her shirt and traced circles on her skin. She hummed with contentment, her arms wrapping around his shoulders. 

“Did you know you swear a lot when you’re stressed or drunk?” he commented, and she nodded vigorously.

“I’ve been told that, yeah. I’m fucking WILD, bitch!” She screamed the last sentence, pulling away from him a little, and Calum cringed slightly at her loudness. 

“You’re also really loud,” he said. She blew a raspberry at him and then grinned. Her face was inches away from his, her brown skin looking soft even in the harsh white light of the lamp. She leaned down just a little, her nose brushing against his. She was close enough that he could feel her breath fanning his face. Her eyes pierced his; he glanced down at her lips, soft and pink from the drinking, and then back at her eyes.

Before he could kiss her, she kissed him.

Her lips pressed into his, and he immediately melted into the kiss. Their mouths moved against each other, and Calum’s hands wrapped around her body, pressing her closer to him. He could taste the vodka in her breath, and he knew she could taste it in his too. His hand slid further up her shirt, and she gasped at the touch of his warm hand against her cold skin. Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck, and her head tilted slightly to let him kiss her harder. 

He pulled at her bottom lip with his teeth, and she let his tongue slide in, her tongue dancing with his. She ground down on him, making him groan. Calum pulled away and turned his attention to her neck, peppering kisses all along her jawline and her throat. His other hand moved down to her ass, and she gripped his hair tighter, pulling him closer to her. Harper moaned his name, and he bit into her skin, before kissing it.

She grabbed his jaw and pushed his head up, connecting her lips with his again. When she pulled away, Calum didn’t want to stop, but with her eyes still closed, she pressed her forehead against his, allowing both of them to catch their breath. She pulled away and looked at him, and Calum saw the tiredness behind her almond brown eyes. She shifted till she was in her original position between his legs, and buried her face in his neck, arms wrapping around his torso. Within seconds, she was fast asleep. Calum was still a little buzzed from the alcohol and from their little make out session (that he had wanted for so long), but he made himself more comfortable as she slept in his arms, and eventually, also fell asleep.

---

Masterlist

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[ohlovxrr]

prom || part i/ii || peter parker x reader

this is so stupid and unnecessary and just so bad smh i just got the idea and went with it. if i get enough comments tho saying y'all want a part two, I'm down. AND BY THE WAY THANK YOU FOR 450 FOLLOWERS WTF YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY ILY GUYS SM THANK YOU FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME AND MY STUPID SCHEDULE AND OVERALL STUPIDNESS!!!!!! ANYWAY on with the story

tags : @running-outta-time @munalisax @i-just-wanna-run-hell

words : 2508

warnings : brief scene of attempted rape (goes as far as “He hooked his fingers over my pants to pull them down” then stops there. If you feel uncomfortable, please skip over that part. I don't want to make any of you guys upset or anything of the kind. Thank you.)

Part ii

Masterlist

----------------------------

The train ride to Midtown High was nothing short of uneventful. The day had been gloomy and wet; rain pouring from every direction.

Walking into the school, kids had been wringing out their hair and sweaters. Most looked upset that the weekend had ended and week had begun with such a slow start.

You, despite trudging your way into the school and class, had felt happy. The rain was something you like a lot; it was something your family chastised you for, but you found joy in the grey clouds and incessant tapping of the water.

When you'd plopped down in English class, you placed your elbow on the desk and leaned your chin in the palm of your hand, staring in front of you with a dazed look. A boy had been sitting in front of you; one who you admired very much.

Peter Parker was one of the best students in Midtown High. He was only a Sophomore too, as you were, and he never ceased to correct teachers when they made mistakes presenting. He was a member of the Decathlon team, led by Liz Allan; everyone knew he liked her. A lot.

You couldn't help but stare at the boy everyday, anytime you could. You liked how his brown hair fell into his eyes at times, and his chocolate brown eyes would widen in confrontation by Flash Thompson, or a teacher, or anyone really. You remember when he used to have a stutter back when you'd first seen him in the fifth grade.

Speaking between the two of you stayed to a minimum; he didn't know you all that well, the occasional project only ever happening where the two of you would talk.

As it turns, today, things were going to change.

When your teacher walked into the room as class started, she announced that she'd chosen people who she doesn't think knows each other well to work on and end of year project on getting to know everything about each other.

At first you groaned along with the rest of the class, until your name got called by the teacher,

“Y/N and Peter, you'll be together on this project.”

Your eyes widened and your ears couldn't hear anything else after that. Your mouth stayed agape as Peter turned and waved at you, giving you a small smile. You gave an open mouthed, nervous smile back at the boy until he turned back around to his friend, Ned, internally scolding yourself for having made such a stupid face. 

This was going to be a long month.

It was only two days after the teacher had announced the project that you were heading over to the Parker apartment to start the project with the boy. You'd reminded yourself countless times not to answer questions for Peter himself, as you already knew so much about him by just observing.

Knocking on the door, your feet shifted from one another in nervousness, waiting for someone to answer. The door opened suddenly after, revealing a messy haired Peter in a Midtown sweatshirt, smiling while saying,

“Hey, Y/N,” he moved for you to get in, “What's up?”

You smiled for a moment before your lips pulled back into a line in nervousness, eyes slightly wide and eyebrows raised in worry as you scanned the room, stepping in,

“Nothing,” you paused slightly and turned back to look at him, face still worried and nervous as you smiled, “Nothing much.”

“Kay,” he said breathlessly, you guessed he'd been doing something before he answered, “Well, um, come on. We can, we can work in my room.”

He nodded his head to over to the door farther down the narrow hall. You nodded, waiting for him to take the lead. He walked ahead of you as you followed. Opening the door, you saw the room was only slightly messy. A couple of shirts, with the usual science pun on them, were scattered across the floor, the bed wasn't completely made, and books had been left open on the desk in the corner along with uncapped highlighters.

“Sorry for the huge mess,” he smiled sheepishly, kicking a shirt to the side as he turned to you, “I sort of forgot about us working on the project today.”

You smiled, “It's fine.”

You watched as Peter walked over to his desk, picking up a pencil, and began tapping on his notebook, then looking up,

“So, what're some of your hobbies?”

A month went had gone by; a very, very blissful month for you. You'd spent so much time with Peter during that time to work on the project, luckily not embarrassing yourself, and getting to know the boy even more than you did before.

You had gotten a lot closer; he'd even admitted his crush everyone knew his had on Liz Allan. It was a very sad moment for you especially; you've come to realize that you'd not only admired him, but fallen completely and utterly in love with him.

You were happy, however, that he trusted you that much to tell you about something so personal; something that doesn't even have to be on the project.

You were thankful for the time you had with the boy, hoping to keep a friendship alive. There have been times where you thought it could be more. There have been times where the two of you sat too close to be friendly, or hugs longer than they should be.

There was even a time when you’d almost kissed him, full on, when it was interrupted by his aunt May walking in. He never talked about it with you; never brought it up after that.

His aunt May loved you though.

You'd met her the second time you came over. She would go on the say that you were the first girl he’s ever brought home, and would gush over you at times.

She knew, though, about your crush; she confronted you about it the fourth time you'd come over, saying she'd keep it a secret, but told you that you couldn't forever. You could never stop blushing when you'd come in with Peter and she'd wink at you, pointing at him. His aunt May was one interesting woman.

After that month had gone by, you were then sitting in Peter’s room, on his bed, working on the project, when he suddenly stopped asking you questions, almost thinking something over,

“Hey,” you waved your hand to grab his attention once again, laughing a bit as you said, “You good?”

“Yeah, yeah. I was just,” he shook his head a bit before looking back up at you, his deep brown eyes meeting your E/C ones, “I was just thinking, since the both of us don't have a date to Prom next week, that maybe we could go together? I mean it's fine if you don't want to-,”

“No!” You said suddenly, making the boy’s eyes widen, “I mean - I mean, yes, I'd like to go with you.”

You gave him a sheepish smile as he grinned back at you. You felt your heart flutter as the boy resumed asking questions.

You were going to prom with Peter Parker; you were going to prom with the boy you love.

Throughout the next week, you spent your time picking out a beautiful dress in hopes of Peter liking it. Your mother had insisted on doing the whole ‘Shebang’ and booking hair and nail appointments, along with make up. To say that you were simply excited would be an understatement.

You walked into the school, the day before prom, feeling happy and fuzzy on the inside. Seeing Peter and Ned, who you've become good friends with through the brown haired boy, at their lockers, you walked over. Peter had been talking animatedly about something; his face was filled with excited and disbelief, hands flying everywhere as he expressed his excitement to his best friend,

“It's happening, Ned, it's really happening!”

You grinned at the two, eyes closing slightly as you asked Peter, “What's got you so excited, Parker?”

His head shot to you, eyes wide and smile still implanted on his face, “I'm going to prom with Liz Allan!”

Your eyebrows furrowed as your grin fell from your face, “What?”

He said even louder and more excited, smile widening, “I'm going to prom with Liz Allan! Can you believe it, Y/N!”

You looked down as you muttered, “No, I can't.” Looking back up, you saw Peter still gushing to Ned about how long he's waiting for Liz to like him back. What about how long you waited for him to like you back?

You felt tears in your eyes as your lip and chin quivered only slightly, “Peter,” you said loud enough to gather his attention, looking at you with puppy dog eyes that would make you melt in any other situation, “I thought we were going together.”

“I mean, yeah,” he gave you a half smile, “But that was when we didn't have dates.”

You shook your head, “Yeah, but-,”

“Y/N,” Peter gave you a look of desperation, “I've waiting so long for this. Liz finally likes me back! You don't get what that's like!”

You nodded aggressively, sucking in a breath before mumbling, “Okay, fine. Go with her. I obviously don't understand.”

With those final words, you stalked off to your first class; wanting to get away from the thick headed boy, leaving said boy confused.

You shed quite some tears that night, cancelled all your appointments, and ignored your whole family.

You spent the night, and day of the prom, in your bedroom. You binged any show you could find, attempting to keep your mind off the boy who just kept crawling back in. You'd already gone through multiple mini tubs of ice cream.

Realizing that you completely ran out of ice cream, and were desperate for more as any other heartbroken girl, you decided to pause the episode of Riverdale you'd been watching, get up, and check the time.

8:56 p.m.

You still had time; stores hadn't closed yet since it was Saturday.

Putting on a sweater over your t-shirt and slipping on some shoes, you headed out of your apartment. After walking out of the complex doors, you took in a deep breath of fresh air.

It's been hard to get the nerdy boy off your mind. Harder than you thought; especially after the project.

Walking through the streets, you looked around, realizing how quiet and eerie it felt that night. No one had been around, lights were off in most apartments and some street lights flickered.

It was sudden when someone had grabbed you and pinned you onto an alleyway wall. You could feel a man’s breath on your neck as he smiled maliciously against it, his teeth grazing,

“Hey,” he moved his face in front of yours, pinning him body against yours so no more space was left in between, “You wanna have some fun, baby?”

You cringed away, his breath wreaked of alcohol as he slurred his words, eyes heavily hooded.

You attempted to push the man away as best as you could, whimpering when he slammed you back into the brick wall.

“Come on now,” he brought his lips to your neck and press a kiss, whispering in your ear, “Don't be like that.” He bite down on your ear, making you scream for help at the top of your lungs, terrified of what the man would do to you.

You felt the man hook his thumbs over your pants, about to pull them down, when they disappeared suddenly. You opened your eyes and saw that he'd been flung across to the opposing wall, now webbed to it by the hands.

“Now, buddy,” Spider-Man had flipped in, saving you from a terrible fate, “I don't think that's how you should be treating a lady.”

You watched as the man fought back against the restrains, still in sober enough to realize his terrible fate.

“You wanna say sorry to the lady?” He gestured for you to come over to him, doing so and putting an arm over your shoulders, “She's waiting.”

The man spat at him, spewing out the words, “Fuck you, Bug-Boy.”

“Wrong answer!” Spider-Man outstretched his hand, webbing the man’s mouth but keeping his nose unwebbed for him to breath.

You stared at the man all webbed up, getting chills over your spin as you thought of what could've happened if the Spider-Man hadn't shown up.

“Ma’am,” he turned to you, eyes on his suit morphing as he expressed different emotions, “Are you okay?”

You nodded slowly before asking, “How did you know this was happening?”

“Theft happened a couple blocks down. Stopped them on time, then I heard a scream,” he looked at you in what you assumed was concern, as his voice was full of it when he said, “Maybe I should take you home.”

You looked up at him, giving a great full smile as he told you to hold onto him. Soon, you were swinging through the city under his arm. You closed your eyes halfway through, realizing that you now had a fear of heights, but soon landed on top of a building; your apartment complex.

“Thanks,” you said to the hero, “For saving me back there.”

“It's what I do,” he paused, “What're you doing out now, anyway? I heard there's, like, this huge prom thing going on at this school for smart people. I'm - I’m just saying cause you look like a smart girl and everything, so…”

“Yeah, there is,” your voice lowered a bit, being reminded of Peter, “I just - I'm just not going cause of this thing with a boy I like. He just bailed and stuff. It's nothing really, doesn't matter anyway. It's just a stupid prom. Not like I was excited for it or anything.”

“A guy bailed on you?” He paused, “Like, the one you like?”

You smiled sadly, “Yeah.”

“That's pretty douchey.”

“Yeah, it is,” you looked to the ground, “I mean it's not like he knew or anything. He just likes this other girl, and it's whatever.”

You looked back up to see Spider-Man shrug, “You never really know,” he grabbed your hand from your side, “Just don't give up on the guy so easily. He might come along. Who knows, maybe he completely blew it with his date tonight or something. Maybe he realized he'd rather be there with you and feels guilty or something.”

You shook your head and scoffed lightly, giving a hopeless smile, “Yeah, I doubt it.”

You saw Spider-Man nod once before dropping your hand and moving to the edge of the building.

Before he could go, you said aloud, “Thank you, again.”

He nodded at you in recognition and swung away soon after.

Sighing, you realized that maybe there's truth to Spider-Man’s words; especially after you realized that you never gave him your address.

You thought to yourself and chuckled lowly, ‘Thanks for saving me, Parker.’

[fangirlsarecool]

So Unprofessional - Jake Peralta x Reader

Based around the episode “The Road Trip”. Enjoy! Also on AO3. My other one shots start here.

Holt came over to you and Jake. The two of you had been going over your open cases at Jake's desk before you set off for a prison transfer. You would have preferred to stay and work the cases but you couldn’t refuse the instructions of your CO. "Morning, detectives. Let's go over the prisoner transfer upstate." he requested. You closed your file and looked to him. "The perp is called Jesse Hermick. Arrested for nine counts of armed robbery but he skipped bail." you informed him. "He was just picked up in Neustadter, New York, trying to pay for a hoagie with a gun." Jake added.

"The sheriff said we have to pick him up tomorrow morning at 6:30. We're going up today and spending the night." you finished. Holt nodded, handing out a file to you. "Here are the transfer forms. Please don't--" "Get any Jake on them?" you posed, taking it from him. "They'll be in my safe hands the whole time, sir. Maybe I should put them in a bag in my overnight bag." "That's a good call." Jake reached beneath his desk and pulled out a bottle. "All the drinks I'm taking are blue." You grimaced; anything with artificial colours was a huge no-no for you. "Naturally." Holt said. He looked to you. "Call me if you need anything." You nodded. "Yes, sir." He took his leave, heading to his office. You went over to your desk and put the forms into your overnight bag. "Hey, I hope this is cool with you, but since we're not technically on duty 'til tomorrow morning, I invited Sophia to join me upstate," Jake told you, "The B&B we're staying at looks really nice. It's almost like it's haunted by fancy ghosts." You smiled. "Why would I mind?" Of course, you really did mind. It wasn’t anything to do with Sophia; she seemed nice, even if she was a defence attorney. You had just been hoping to spend some one-on-one time with him. The truth of the matter was, you fancied Jake. You moved from a precinct in Manhattan about a year ago and he had been partnered with you on your first case at the 99. It had helped you remember how fun police work could actually be. The two of you went for a drink once the case was solved. He'd told you how his dad left him when he was a kid and you'd told him how your mom had done the same. There were many differences between you but you felt you'd found a kindred spirit. And from that moment on, your heart had leeched itself to him. "I just thought all the romantic stuff might be awkward. You know, because of whatever girl your pining over." Raising an eyebrow, you walked back over to his desk. "I'm not pining over anyone." you assured. "And why do you assume it's a girl?" "I've just never seen you get this fixated on a guy before. Remember the girl from the grocery store?" he explained.

You went bright red. "I only mentioned her once." Jake scoffed. "Yeah. Once a day." You shook your head and sighed. "For the record, it's a guy." His eyes widened. "Who is it? Do I know him? Is it Charles?" he probed. You could barely mask the unattractive snort that the thought elicited. "It's not Boyle." "Well, whoever he is, he must be special." A warmth washed through your body. "He is." You tore yourself from his gaze, walking to your desk and grabbing your bag. "You finish up. I'm gonna wait in the car." "Alright. I'll be out in a sec." You nodded, pulling the bag up onto your shoulder and walking out of the bullpen. Once the elevator doors closed, you had to resist the urge to smack your head against them. Hard. Jake was going to bombard you with questions in the car and the more he knew, the more likely he was going to figure out who the 'mystery guy' was. And that would not end well.

It barely took five minutes for Jake to start his bombardments. You managed to dodge the first few of his questions until he asked, "Is it someone from the 99?" Your heartbeat sped up and your palms grew sweaty. He was sure to work out it was him (if he ruled out those not in the 'inner circle'). "I know you said it was a guy but I've seen you making eyes at Rosa and…" You couldn’t help but laugh. "You think I like Rosa?" you wheezed, "I mean, she's gorgeous. But she's freaking terrifying." "Point taken." he replied, chuckling a little. "It's definitely no-one on the squad, then. Unless it's me." Luckily, you had enough residual laughter to brush it off though you could feel your cheeks burning up your face. "Jake Peralta, the only way you will ever find out is if I get drunk enough to lose my filter. Which will never happen." A smirk grew on his face. "Never say never, (y/n). We're not on duty until tomorrow." You shook your head. "So unprofessional." you sighed. "Am not. I do most of my paperwork and I wear a tie sometimes." "Sometimes I wonder how you even reached detective status." "Because I'm a badass hero and the commissioner's always like 'Peralta, you're Brooklyn's number one. Take all the cases'. " He paused before explaining, "It was a dream I had once. John McClane gave me the Medal of Valor. Kate Hudson was there. Also the Ninja Turtles." You chuckled. "You have a weird brain." "So do you. Because you're pining over Terry? Gina? Amy? Holt?" he suggested, his voice growing more exasperated with each name. "I'm not gonna tell you, Jake. And you're never gonna work it out."

"Come on, (y/n), I'm Brooklyn's number one. I'm gonna find out." You shook your head again, something you found yourself doing a lot whenever Jake talked. Placing your head against the window, you watched the scenery whiz by in a blur of colour. And you hoped to God that Jake would give up on trying to figure your secret out.

Sophia was already at the B&B when you and Jake arrived. "Hey." you greeted. "Hi, (y/n)." she replied with a smile. You went to the check-in desk to get the key to your room. "I have a room booked under (y/l/n)." you told the man at the desk. He typed your name into the computer then looked at you for the first time with a bright smile. "Of course, ma'am. I'll just get your key." He turned to the board behind him. For some annoying reason, you couldn’t help but tune into Jake and Sophia's conversation. "I got us the room of a thousand dolls." she finished. "Oh, sounds creepy." he remarked. "Super creepy." They both chuckled. "So I'm gonna go unpack, and then I'm gonna take a bath, and then we have dinner, and then--" "Doin' it." You had to stop yourself from reacting to his indelicacy. "I was gonna say dessert." "Oh. Synonym. Cool. Better." You felt so stupid; you were a grown woman, wishing you were the one having failed innuendos with Jake instead of Sophia. It was as if you were in high school again, pretending in your head that you were strong enough to hold up the main cheerleader in the pyramid. You couldn’t really blame young you for that - the girl had some pretty strong arms. "Ma'am?" You were dragged back to reality by the concierge holding your room key out to you. "Thank you." you said. "Enjoy your stay! And don't forget to try one of our famous mapletinis!" You smiled weakly before turning to the couple. "We're gonna go up to settle in." Jake told you. You nodded. "Cool. I'm um…" You tried to think of something to do that wasn’t staying holed up in your room all night. "Gonna hit the bar. Try a mapletini." you fabricated. "Hey, I'll join you if you want." Every fibre of your being was telling you to say yes but instead you found yourself saying, "It's fine. I'm sure you and Sophia have got stuff you wanna do." Jake turned to his girlfriend and whispered something. She nodded. "I'll see you later, (y/n)." You smiled as she went upstairs. "Is everything alright?" Jake asked, "Just tell me if I pushed things too far with the whole 'who do you fancy' thing. I'm just really--" You butted in. "It's fine. I'm fine." you reassured. Jake wasn’t an idiot (most of the time); you knew he knew something was off but you also knew he wouldn’t pry. "You're sure?" You nodded. "Absolutely. I'll join you for dinner, if you're lucky." You chuckled awkwardly. Get it together, you told yourself. "Go have fun with Sophia. I promise you I'm fine." "Excuse me, sir? Can you call room 14 for me and tell him to get his butt down here? This place is about to get turnt and he's gonna miss out." "Ma'am, we've already placed the call. He said he'll be down in a moment." Somehow, one mapletini had turned into two. After the second drink, everything became a bit fuzzy. But at least you were having a good time now and not constantly thinking about what Jake and Sophia were doing. "Thank you…" Your voice trailed off as you peered at the bartender's name badge. "M…m…marrow? Mermaid? Mervin?" "It's Meredith." she corrected. You shook your head defiantly. "I'm pretty sure it says marrow." You paused before a really good idea popped into your head. "Can you do me favour, marrow?" you asked. "It's Meredith." she repeated with a heavy sigh. "Whatever. I need you to call room 14. Tell him that our perp is in this hotel and we can take him back to the 99 now." You jabbed you finger down on the bar to emphasise the urgency. "Ma'am, I've already called room 14. And as I said before, the man at the other end told me he'd be down in a moment." She moved down the bar, probably to take someone else's order. Following her down, you dropped into the seat in front of her, preventing her from moving on. "His name's Jake." you told her with enthusiasm. "He's got sparkly eyes and a great butt. And really strong arms. Or maybe that was the cheerleader." "(Y/n)?" Your head whipped round so fast that you probably could have given yourself whiplash. You gasped. "That's him." you whispered to the bartender. She grunted before moving to the next customer. "Jakey!" you whooped, hopping off your stool and skipping over to him. "Are you drunk?" he queried, his amusement of the situation written all over his face, "I thought you were just having one mapletini?" "I did. But then I fancied another one. I had a glass of wine after that. It was fruity…I think. And then," You lowered your voice, "I stole someone's shots." He tried and failed to fight the grin on his face. "I may have been waiting a long time to see drunk you," he began, "But we have to be up early tomorrow. Isn't that 'so unprofessional'?" He made his voice higher at the end. He was mocking you. You scoffed and raised an eyebrow. "That was supposed to be me? I can do a way better me than you can." You cleared your throat loudly as if Jake was supposed to expect something amazing. "So unprofessional." you said, changing nothing about your voice. He chuckled. "Okay. That was cute." You were sure you were blushing but the room was already so hot that you couldn’t tell. "Let's get you to bed." He placed a guiding arm around your waist and it was as if you could feel every single chemical reaction exploding inside you like tiny fireworks. It was a good job he was helping you as your legs had turned to jelly. Looking up at him with a sort of dazed smile, you remarked, "You're looking after me." "Of course I am. That's what friends are for." he replied with a warm smile. The fireworks inside of you died off - all of them clumping together and sinking to the bottom of your stomach. Before you had any idea what was happening, words came tumbling out of your mouth. "I hate it when you say that." you admitted. His face fell and you instantly regretted your words. "Say what?" Apparently, there was no stopping you now. "That we're friends." His brow furrowed. "You don’t like that we're friends?" You shook your head. "No, I do. But I don't." And when his brow creased even further, you found yourself saying, "I want us to be more." His expression didn’t change. You didn’t know whether he'd heard you. "It's you, Jake," you continued, "The mystery man. The hang-up. The special guy." The look on his face was unreadable but you didn’t know if that was because you were drunk. "You like me?" he uttered.

"Well, duh." you replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And today was supposed to be about us. We were gonna play ping-pong, drink mapletinis and see if we could find any fancy ghosts." Realising how much you sounded like a whiny, jealous bitch, you stopped. Something gurgled in your stomach but you chose to ignore it. For once, it seemed Jake was speechless. "You laughed when I suggested it was me." he said. "But I didn’t say no. Why do you think I was so cut up about you going undercover? Why do you think I always volunteer to check over your paperwork? I let you drink blue drinks in my car." Your stomach gurgled again and something shifted inside you. You started to giggle. "What?" Jake asked confused. "I'm about to throw up on your shoes." you tittered. And, before he could even react, you did exactly that.

You slumped into the car seat, placing your sunglasses back on. Why, oh why, did you drink last night? Of course, you knew the exact answer to this and couldn’t bear to remind yourself of it. You’d been so stupid and now you were paying the price. Jake shut his door, the sound reverberating through your skull, after securing the perp in the backseat. “You did a pretty good job of not seeming hungover.” he chuckled.

You groaned. “Turn off your mouth siren.” “I’m sorry. Is it too loud for you?” he replied, raising his voice. You cringed away; it felt like someone was just hammering away at your brain. “Jake.” you whined. He reached for the drink holder and held out a bottle to you. “Want some blue?” You stared at the bright blue liquid for a moment before taking it from him. Unscrewing the lid, you considered if a dry mouth was good enough excuse to stoop this low. But after last night, you didn’t think that was physically possible. Jake watched in wonderment as you chugged at least half the bottle. “Wow. Last night really broke you, huh?” You nodded. “I only stopped throwing up about an hour before we left.” There was a pause. You watched as he opened his mouth then closed it again, contemplating whether or not to say something. Knowing that whatever he wanted to say would be a stain on your character from last night, you jumped in. “I know this goes without saying but I’d really appreciate it if you don’t tell Holt.” you requested. “Of course. I’ve done way worse when I’ve been on duty.” You raised an eyebrow. “Worse than getting drunk, puking on your partner’s shoes then turning up for a prison transfer hungover?” “Good point.” The hesitant air settled in the car again and you watched Jake’s jaw shift before speaking. “So, last night you said something to me.” Your heart leapt up into your throat and your face burned bright red. “I did?” you choked out, sincerely hoping drunk you hadn’t spilled your secrets to him. “Yeah. You…um… told me how you wished we could have spent time together yesterday." You didn’t think your face had ever been so red; drunk you sounded like a needy toddler. "Oh, God. Jake, I am so sorry." You paused before adding, "Did I say why?" He shook his head and you sighed with relief. "You just said I was a funny guy then vommed on my shoes." You covered your face with your hands and groaned again - Jake was never going to let you forget that. "How are your shoes, by the way?" you asked, muffled by your hands. "Oh, they were past their best about two months ago. Picked these up in lost and found. They'll do." You lowered your hands and peered at his shoes. They were illuminous colours and someone had drawn flowers all over the white fabric. "Yeah. Until we get back." you said. "Oh, no. They'll do until they fall apart. Or someone throws up on them again." The two of you laughed. "Anyway, because we missed out on time together, I want to make it up to you." he offered. Your heart swelled as you stuttered, "Oh, Jake…y…you don’t…" "(Y/n), this idea took me forever. Let me have this." You sighed but kept schtum. "You and I are gonna have ourselves a good old competition off. I was thinking we could go to that arcade your brother used to take you to. It'll have air hockey, shooter games and probably some dance machines." Eyes wide, you looked to him with a small smile - he'd remembered about the arcade. "But it's in Manhattan." "We both have a day off next week, yeah?" You pushed your sunglasses up onto your head. "And you want to spend it with me?" You were completely gob-smacked; the endorphins were rushing through you. Jake must have been the most thoughtful guy you'd ever met. "It may surprise you to know that I like spending time with you." The familiar feeling of fireworks set off inside you. "I like spending time with you too." Jake gave you a quick glance and the look on your face confirmed that what you'd said last night was true. It seemed it wasn’t so hard to get you to spill your secrets after all.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card-hen 1 | Gakuen Babysitters 1 | Idolish7 3 | Zoku Touken Ranbu Hanamaru 1 | Karakai Jouzu no Takagi-san 1 | Miira no Kaikata 1 | Death March 1

The debuts for the winter season keep coming, but we’re almost at the end of them with this post.

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card 1

Note I don’t have any prior experience with Cardcaptor Sakura aside from 1 volume of manga and watching the show in passing while other people were watching it, plus knowing about a few spoilers and the show’s reputation as a seminal magical show show…then in more recent days, I finished 2 episodes of it (in fact as of the day I’m typing this, I finished episide 2 today!).

This OP makes Sakura look like later-stage Sailor Moon, and I think that’s the point.

Where did the bear in Syaoran’s hand go when Sakura hugged him?

Eriol! I don’t really know much about him, and I knew I should’ve known about him before starting this, but…it was a bit of a shock to see a character I technically haven’t seen the debut of with my own eyes.

I get the feeling these are the “two bears” from the prologue OVA…

Emails! In the world of Cardcaptor Sakura! Wow, I feel old…and I didn’t even grow up with her.

Hot dang! Gimme dat bishie (Yue)! I knew he was coming, but…I still don’t really know how he came to be!

Wow, this Yamazaki kid spouts such rubbish! I’m looking forward to seeing him in the main series now.

It’s pretty obvious I need to watch the original before understanding this fully, so I’m putting it on hold.

Gakuen Babysitters 1

I’m here for my Ume and Nishiyama. I’m not particularly good at dealing with kids, especially younger kids, but this doesn’t make me run for the hills either.

Ryuichi involves the kanji for “dragon” and Kotaro has the kanji for “tiger”.

That man with the hat is so not sketchy…

I’ve never heard of NAS before (but I have heard of NAZ through Idolish7).

That joke Saikawa told actually worked! These shows may all be middling this winter, but I’d be happy with even some of them on my docket. I’ve been pleasantly surprised more often than not that I haven’t found “stinker of the season” yet.

The comedy for this show’s really on point, although the overall design is a tad lackluster.

K-Kamitani?! Apparently Ume-chan’s character is Hayato Kamitani, so that’s how Ume got involved, so to speak. This sudden intro of 4 kids works on a story scale, but not in a way any person can process without pausing the video (or getting individual intros later).

Well, there are those individual intros I was asking for. Spoke too soon.

It’s actually kinda sad and quite telling how independent Kotaro is. (I still find it extremely hilarous Nishiyama – whose first name is Kotaro - didn’t voice Kotaro, although from a practical standpoint I understand why.)

Usaida has such bedroom eyes, it’s hard to ignore (because they make him look like En)! Dangit, I want my En back!

This brings back memories. My mum used to deal with kids all the time, and of course I was in the background for some of the shenanigans.

Dragon puppet symbolism, eh? (see the dotpoint a bit back about Ryuichi’s name)

As soon as this guy (who kinda looks like something out of Haikyuu) started demanding Taka come with him, I screamed. That character doesn’t seem very Ume, but…uh, it’s Ume. Gotta deal with it. Now that I listen to their voices properly though, Ume does have a “big bro” voice and Nishiyama a “earnest young man” voice.

Oh dear. Taka’s imprinted on me already, and I don’t even like boys that age.

I haven’t felt a genuine sense of danger from any of these winter shows until this one, so it seems like it’s one of the strongest debuts. Then again, CCS was my frontrunner before this and YuruCamp the second best, so I guess I can’t talk, eh?

Gah, I feel like I wanna cry now. That is a strong premiere!

I have a real problem with how anime tears come out in globs. Then again, I’m too much of a crybaby, as my notes can attest…so I guess no arguing here.

Should it be “Chairman” or “Chairwoman”???

Tsundere grandma. Now there’s something I thought I’d never think in my life…

Oh, I didn’t realise earlier but Taka = “hawk” and Hayato = “falcon man”. Animal jingoism at its finest!

Whoo, that was a real nice debut. I thought I was too old for this stuff, but it’s a keeper!

Idolish7 3

It’s a good thing I chose to cover episodes 1 – 2 so I won’t have to do them now.

I didn’t notice Nagi getting all huggy there with everyone in range (the first time, at least).

In case you don’t know from all the other idol shows, the centre is the one in centre stage. They’re often seen as the leader, so it’s a very important position.

This song can’t be anything but Monster Generation! Woohoo!

Wow, I haven’t seen one of those “watch from a distance” things in a while. Makes me nostalgic.

“Ichi” would probably refer to Iori, right? (He has the kanji for “one” in his name.)

Wowee, Nagi’s entendre…is really thick. Like pudding.

I agree, brothers can be so strange…

“…spoil me sometimes.” - Laying on the entendre thicker than custard here, Iori!

These boys are so into their Magical Kokona. I want in now.

Tamaki really is an En-chan…En-chan! Come back! (But why does Tamaki have no socks???)

These ED outfits are so elaborate! Ooh! Imagine a gender-swapped cosplay of them, that’s be great!

Who’s that on the edge of the ED video though? (You can see something hopping up and down.)

Zoku Touken Ranbu Hanamaru 1

Can we please just call this “Hanamaru 2” like Crunchyroll? “Zoku” just refers to a continuation…anyways, I got Hanamaru season 1 done last year while dealing with Katsugeki, so…here I come, sword boys!

Didn’t Hanamaru get a dub, by the way? Why would you dub this? For me to criticise it? The Touken Ranbu fanbase is kinda small…

W-Wait, did they just write Yams out of this season? Yams is the protag (if not a protag) here! What did Ichiki do now to deserve this???

It was getting too hard to jump through the proxies to play Touken Ranbu as of late, so I deleted my DMM account. Even still, the sword boys have multiplied since I left! Yikes!

Wow, unexpected 1st person bit there, Kashuu/Masuda. I thought I told the industry to stop doing that…

Exposition wave…I don’t need this wave, but I guess anime-only fans might. Carry on, Heshikiri.

So this multiple Konnosuke thing wasn’t a Katsugeki-only gag? Oh dear, my head’s spinning…

I don’t think I noticed, but Kashuu uses a brush (and not a specialty brush provided in the lid of nail polish). Probably because in Touken Ranbu, plastic isn’t much of a concept…

I still appreciate how Kashuu was this Saniwa’s starter. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy for my own TR days…

Photos are a nice way to recap. After all, 1 picture speaks 1000 words.

Wow, Shishiou’s a real chibi compared to these tachi. But Shishiou’s a tachi too…

Dang, I’m jealous. These bros were around when I was a TR player, and I missed ‘em! Dang Kebishii drops!

So that thing really is a nue. I could never see it on Shishiou’s card, y’know.

Hmm…considering the bros are new swords, the Saniwa’s strategy is to level up them up using the younger bro as leader (remember, the leader gets more experience). I see…

A “pincer attack” is a V shape, so the description fits the Crane Wings formation…

I can’t say I wasn’t impressed by Akashi just then. Come to think of it, he didn’t have any battles in Hanamaru’s 1st season.

A double attack suits a pair like this, of course!

Oh my gosh, they even got two dfferent voice actors for the Konnosukes! LOL!

Hanamaru’s EDs kept changing and it seems like they’ll continue to change, eh? This one looks quite spiffy.

The style of this ED doesn’t look like Hanamaru at all. It was probably done by the original illustrator for the swords.

It’s a great return to form for Hanamaru! I’m sold!

Karakai Jouzu no Takagi-san 1

Another day, another long title…plus this show I would’ve passed on, if not for that resolution…

Michiko Yokote is on a lot of shows I watch. I don’t really know what her influence is, but it seems she’s genuinely competent at what she does.

So…uh, Gendo pose anyone?

I think the teacher is the best part of this. I’ve been a bit of Tonari no Seki-kun, and the pull of that is the sheer ludicrousness of what Seki does with his stuff. However, there didn’t seem to be any intervention aside from Yokoi (I think that was her name)…

Nishikata’s reactions are just way too easy to read…

Well, that was okay, but it’s definitely a show to binge all at once. On to the “on hold” pile it goes.

Wait, but they missed a segment (the 100 yen segment). Gotta skip forward…

I didn’t get any laughs out of that show at all, but it’s still a decent school SoL.

How to Keep a Mummy 1

I have absolutely no experience with this manga, mind you…aside from seeing this tiny mummy on Comico…

Wow, if the mummy can fit in his shoe…how big is it?

The translation of “ready” is surprisingly ganbaru, and there’s a “but” mentioned in the Japanese title missing from the English. Also, “ready” has sexual connotations I’d rather not pair with a tiny mummy…I’d say the translation of the episode title should be something more along the lines of “White, Round, Small, Very Wimpy But [Also] Tries Its Hardest” (“It” being the mummy and not Pennywise…).

Is Dracula even public domain right now? (Does anyone care about the intellectual property of a classic vampire novel anyway? Because I sure don’t.)

Can we please start making jokes about how Sora’s daddy got him a mummy? It may seem childish, but I’m tempted to now.

This mummy is so adorable, I think it even beat out the kids from Gakuen Babysitters! Geesh, I’m spoilt this season! It completely set off my moe senses, and I don’t even have any!

It imprinted on him! Oh wow!

The mummy doesn’t even have a mouth…how can it spit things-oh wait. That’s the joke, isn’t it?

Come to think of it, crybaby characters ae few and far between. However, between this and Devilman…er, Crybaby…they’ve suddenly become popular…I guess?

It’s like a harem, only it’s between a dog and a mummy. Why I never…

One of the best things about anime is that you can learn about other cultures through the things included offhandedly…like that molokhiya thing that Sora mentioned. Apparently it’s a Jewish vegetable of some sort.

Do mummies get jet lag too? I was just thinking how Comico stories, with their full colour and yet simple design (to allow for downward scrolling and intake by the eyes) are perfect for anime.

I listened to the show with volume for once…because Tazuki seems to be the guy voiced by Keisuke Koumoto…and I think I was on the money there. Plus, Sora’s VA really sells the delivery of jokes (although he seems to be voiced by a woman…?)!

Yamanba…like Yamanbagiri’s namesake. The mountain hag, right?

Yep, I was right on the money with Tazuki being Koumoto. Kamitani Tazuki, it seems his name is…

This dance ending’s kind of cute, too. It’s a keeper!

Death March 1

(looks at title just above this dotpoint) C’mon. There’s no way I’m going to repeat “Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody” over and over again for at least 11 or 12 episodes…by the way, I’m here because I was reading a KonoSuba novel and saw an ad for this, just in time for the anime…

“SADA”, my butt…

I love how they almost replicated Windows 8 in this show. Or is it 7, or 10? They don’t show the taskbar, which is the main visual difference between 8 and 10, but either way the Windows replication without being sued is really something…

This OP’s gonna make me dizzy someday…

Classes, eh? So that means Suzuki’s working with an OOP language. Plus you can see Cortana on the computer as the mention of classes goes by, meaning that person’s on Windows 10.

UML.

By the way, Satou is a fairly common name in Japan…at least to my knowledge. But Suzuki is a pretty common one, too, hence the mistake.

The client? Unless Suzuki is referring to the client as in the program, it could also mean the client as in the person/group who wants the game made. Considering what he says though involving a call, it’s probably the latter.

That’s the second show with a lost kid in the first episode. It seems a bit trite, don’tcha think?

According to his phone map (flip phone!), he’s in Akihabara.

FFL…eh? Google says there are multiple Final Fantasy games for Android, meaning I’ve probably thinking of Fire Emblem Fates (which doesn’t match), and there’s no such thing as Final Fantasy 50 (L in Roman numerals) yet.

That’s the second time they mentioned work/daily life being a death march. Can we not???

Come to think of it, Suzuki looks like Nobuaki (King’s Game), which doesn’t bode well for either show.

Apparently you can get Facebook Messenger for Windows 10, which I didn’t know…

“…being a corporate slave.”

C’mon! This ain’t the Animatrix, but still, if you’re trying to make stuff look technological, at least make it look a bit better.

Third time they’ve mentioned “death march”.

It might just be Houseki no Kuni’s fault, but this CGI is really janky.

Welllll…at least it looks like a game.

Welllllllll…at least they knew where to put their money for some sakuga…

This running through fields scene is either a homage to Every Anime Opening ever, or Pokémon. I distinctly remember it being in Emerald’s opening animation, at least.

Dude, if you want to look for a wyvern, do it from the ground where you won’t get injured, dumb Satoo.

Does this look a lot like Berserk (2016) with all its CGI knights…or is that just me?

Zena…? I might be showing how old I am with this (or how much I scour the internet), but…by any chance, do you mean this gal instead?

I think I’ve had enough of this flip for now, so I’m putting it on hold.

[strawbebehmod]

I know this is random, but I was wondering is you had any good episodes of FMA 03 you could suggest. (Like, episode number or title.) To make a long story short I'd like to see more episodes than I have, but I don't think I want to dive into all 50+ of them. (I considered watching the Greed episodes, but I don't want to see Ed kill anyone, so I'd have to cut out early.)

Ok anon!

Well, honestly, alot of the early episodes are good. I really like episodes one two and three. One and two are just an extended version of the liore episode, but they do Rose’s character a lot of justice and gives her more screen time that she didn’t get in brotherhood. Episode three is also great as you get to see more of little Edward and alphonse. There’s also some angst because you see trisha’s death and the transmutation, but over all its a beautiful episode.Avoid episode four like the plague, especially if you don’t want to see ed kill anyone. it’s not a good episode according to most people and me anyways and is completely filler, so you can skip it. Episode ten isn’t the best either and is skippable.Episode five is great though. On top of a train fight between Ed and a guy with tricked out automail weaponry, It’s hughes’ first appearance, and he kicks ass. Episode six is good too, but there is a lot of nina in it(no transmutation however…yet). You get to see Ed goof around with nina and alexander, celebrate his birthday, take the exam, and get to see baby Elicia. Its overall the cutest and fluffiest episode in the series. Episode seven is nina dying (plus cute moment with Hughes and baby Elicia and a slight edwin moment) and eight is ed dealing with his emotions in the aftermath plus winry and serial killer murder mystery. Episode nine “be thou for the people” is one of my favorites. Its the long version of yoki’s backstory and honestly makes his version of his back story so much more hilarious when you look back at it in brotherhood because you know exactly what really happened. Episode 11 and 12, “The other elric brothers” part one and two are amazing, honestly and you get to see Edward at his pettiest and most sneaky in the best way possible. You also get to meet the wonderful tringham brothers, who are fma 03 exclusive characters and I wish to death that they were in brotherhood too. Seriously. russell is a glorious sassy bastard and his little brother fletcher is like a second, smaller alphonse. What’s not to love?Episode 13, “Fullmetal vs. Flame” is a must watch. It’s an episode about Ed fighting Roy, something we never got to see in brotherhood and it is freeaking hilarious. This is also where half the fandom memes about Roy came from, such as “I LOVE DOGS” and “TINY MINISKIRTS” came from. Also, Hughes is at his most Hughesy in this one. Bonus: puppy hayate!I personally really like episode 14 and 15, but that’s because I’m a sucker for angst. These are the 03 episodes introducing Marcoh and Scar, as well as major armstrong. They get pretty dark because they discuss the war heavily, but there is also another amazing moment for rose in these episodes. 16 is ok, it’s pretty interesting for filler but the best parts (at least in my opinion) are the scenes where alphonse pretends to be a haunted suit of armor.17 is the reseimbool episode. More Armstrong and Winry. Enough said. I get a little fuzzy on the lab five arc, because the episodes blend together alot. The pre lab five stuff is great, more maria ross, more sheska, some hughes being hughes. The actual lab five arc gets pretty dark. I personally prefer it because it is more stretched out and darker, but it’s not for everyone. I just felt the brotherhood lab five arc ended abruptly. *shrugs* anyways, that arc has a few great moments, such as Ed’s speech to the slicer brothers, Maria ross saving Ed, An Indiana jones reference, an actual fight between ed and envy, but also a big part of it is that the homunculi try to force ed to make a stone for them. Episode 23 and 24 “Fullmetal heart” and “Bonding memories” are pretty good but are more angsty. They are an expansion on Alphonse’s whole “Did brother make me up and give me false memories” episode and he bonds with two little ishvalan boys. However, these episodes also go deeper into the abuse towards the ishvalans, and it can be hard to watch. Episode 25 is the one where hughes dies. However, i recommend watching the beginning because it has an amazing and angsty moment between roy and hughes about roy right after the war and hughes helping him with his depression. 26 is “her reason” and is Paninya’s episode. After this I start getting fuzzy again because it’s been a while since I watch them. We start getting into the greed arc and episodes start blending together again. If you want to meet 03 wrath and learn what his deal is (this wrath is not bradley), watch episodes 29, 30, and 31 I think. Greed makes an appearance in those episodes, and bido gets some screen time. Also, sheska gets some screen time and then armstrong gets his time to shine too and bonds with Sig. Theory of avarice, episode 34, is the one to avoid as that is greed’s death, but I can’t remember what happens in which episodes besides that. It’s really hard to watch the later episodes out of order because they get really plot heavy and 03’s plot is pretty damn complicated. If you aren’t going to watch the whole series, there isn’t much I can recommend besides one very important one: Episode 37, “The Flame Alchemist, The Bachelor Lieutenant, and the Mystery of Warehouse 13”. Hands down the funniest episode in the entire series. It’s an entire episode about Team Mustang and it is awesome. You will laugh until your sides hurt, I promise.There are also the ovas. They’re pretty silly and simple but do requior a basic understanding of some of the characters like the 03 homunculi and the basic plot summary of the movie that end capped the series. Those OVAs are “Kids”, “chibi wrap party”, and “alchemists vs Homunculi”. None of them are canon to fma 2003 (except “kids” maybe) but they’re short and fun.

That’s all I’ve got. It’s been a while since I watched the series, and I’ve only seen it all the way through once. Others might be able to give you better suggestions, like @calangkoh Hope that helped!

[kinetic-elaboration]

May 25: The Finale

So here's how I stand with The 100 now that the finale has aired.

I still haven't watched anything past 4x10, but I'm reading spoilers on my dash and keeping up with the general outlines of things. Before the finale aired, I was starting to get curious about developments again and thought I might just wait for the last ep to air and then binge the final arc maybe over the long weekend or something. Now that I know how the season ends up, my interest in watching has plummeted and while I think it would be silly of me to say 'I'll never watch it ever' (those are very much the sort of words a person like me later eats), I have no interest in watching it any time soon. Maybe over the summer. Sometime. Eventually. Who knows?

The biggest reason to watch the last episodes is to be able to have an actual leg to stand on for complaining purposes but frankly not being up to date on canon hasn't stopped me yet, lol. I just disclaim all complaints with 'I'm one of those annoying people who bitches about developments in episodes I haven't seen' and leave it at that.  

I don't want to be like the anti's, hating the show and talking about how much I hate it but sticking around in fandom anyway, raining on everyone else's parade. It worries me that people might come across my ranty posts and think that of me. But... okay, look, I have done a lot of complaining going all the way back to season 3 and I'm up front both about what I don't like in the show and about why I'm here in the fandom anyway. I like the fandom, I like the characters, I like the universe, etc. I still want to engage in the transformative-works aspect of the fandom. And honestly I've never been a meta writer or engaged in speculation or predictions so looking only at what I produce, content-wise...whether or not I like the canon or even whether or not I'm caught up on it makes no difference. It will matter even less now that we're in the hiatus and there's no new material to speculate on in the first place.  

Finally, and most importantly, I'm really honestly not here to ruin or even put a damper on anyone else's fandom experience. I tag my negative posts as negative. I censor names when I'm talking shit about specific characters or ships. I don't go into people's inboxes and I don't even have a Twitter but if I did, I wouldn't use it to harass other users or people who work on the show. Like, I just want to sincerely love the first two seasons, the general concept, and the characters, while bemoaning the state of the show as it is now. (Also, tbh...sometimes complaining is fun and the vast number of people who leisure-complain on any number of topics is evidence enough of this phenomenon—at least I'm honest about taking pleasure in the occasional bout of this is so fucking stupid inconsequential-rage.)

As for what I actually think of what I've heard of the finale.... I've tried to write this up a couple of different ways and I think (hope) I've FINALLY distilled my thoughts.

The two things I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT out of the finale were (1) for the characters to go to space and (2) a time jump of pretty much any sort. So now that those two things have happened, my brain has basically short circuited. I cannot even comprehend this. I literally don't have the words. Maybe I sound hyperbolic, but I'm just trying to explain how much disdain I have for these two plot points. I can't even fathom how anyone ever thought this would be a good idea; it's like I'm in an alternate entertainment universe. It's ludicrous.

My problem with the space launch is that it crosses the disbelief line for me. Obviously there's a lot of faux-science in this show and everyone has a different line as to what is reasonable-enough if you don't think about it too hard, and what is just absolute nonsense but, for whatever reason, this is my line. I don't know what the details were on the actual show come launch-time but just the concept of launching a space craft from a post-apocalyptic wasteland is so ridiculous that I cannot imagine a way to squint or turn my head or angle my screen so that it seems even remotely tenable. A ROCKET LAUNCH. FROM THE RUINS OF POST-NUCLEAR NEW YORK. Like ?????????????????????????. I previously described this possibility as sounding to my ears like riding a pegicorn to New Jersey to get the magic potion from Raul (s/o to my freshman year roommate for the Raul in-joke, so useful to me so many years later), and that's still how I feel.

My bigger problem is with the time jump. To put it briefly, it's a new show now. The combination of Radiation 2.0 and the time jump has cemented that.

I've felt for a while now that whatever it is I'm watching now isn't what I originally signed up to watch. I've seen a few other posts to similar effect, and even my mother (who acts as my Typical Casual Viewer one-person control group, even though quite obviously she is not representative of a typical cw viewer at all—still she's not in the fandom so she is completely untainted by what goes on in these parts)--even my mom said she thinks JRoth/the writers are basically telling a completely different story now than they were initially. I've had, and am still having, a hard time articulating exactly what makes it fundamentally different (as opposed to merely a show that's evolved over time, as long-running shows do), or even when exactly it happened. But I guess at its core the complaint is: this is supposedly a show about "the hundred," and of that group almost all have been killed or lost to the ether, and the remaining members have had their screen time chronically cut short to accommodate a growing cast of characters who have increasingly little to do with that core group or its original purpose or journey. The complaint is  partly one of frustration at the large number of delinquent deaths and the small scraps of screen time given to other alleged mains, and partly a more general annoyance at the loss of the whole meaning of the affiliation "the hundred." What does it mean to be a member of the hundred anymore? Basically nothing. And when it ceased to have meaning (by which I mean S3), the show became, in essence, a different show.

Obviously there's a counter to this whole general complaint (that the show is too bloated with characters generally and/or Grounders specifically), which I've also seen floated out there recently, which is that destroying everything on Earth will allow something more like S1 to flourish again, and a new emphasis to be placed on the core young people. To this I say, first, it's way too early to tell what S5 will be. And I'm in a particularly bad place to really engage with this argument, given how much of even the current canon I've missed. BUT I am skeptical. First, we were told S4 would feel like S1 again and IMO it most definitely has not. Second, most of the hundred are dead and/or gone—I'm not just talking about the toll among the original mains or even the original named characters, I'm talking about how 42 of the original captured teens made it out of Mt. Weather and all but 4 of them were never heard of again. So even if the show returns to caring more about, say, Monty than it does about Grounder of the Week, nothing can undo the destruction to the original concept; nothing can really solve the problem of which I'm complaining. And third, I don't think the writers think they're writing a bad show; I mean, they're the ones who brought us down this path in the first place. This, what we've seen over the past 2 years, IS JRoth's vision. Yes, sometimes showrunners make a mis-step and readjust course, and I thought perhaps that would happen for S4, but it hasn't, which means that he doesn't think S3 had the problems I think it had, which means there's no reason to think S5 will be any better than S3 or S4 were, at least from my POV.  

But anyway as I was saying—

Maybe there's been room for argument about this same show/different show question up to now; it's a fuzzy sort of concept in my mind with which I'm not entirely comfortable—I feel a bit like I'm just Complaining About Change like an old grandma, tbh. Despite how it sounds, I do want to be open-minded about others' creativity and to give the benefit of the doubt to ongoing projects/unfinished stories. Regardless, ending S4 in this way is a pretty big sign that the theory, whether or not it was right before, is right as of now. Is there any way to more effectively raze the ground and salt the Earth than to literally raze the ground and then skip ahead 6 years? I have a million problems with this large time gap, but on the top of the list is that, like everyone over the age of 25 knows, a person changes dramatically between the ages of 18 and 25, or 16 and 22, just in the normal course of events, apocalypse(s) not withstanding. The writers have given themselves carte blanche to do literally absolutely anything with these characters. Even for a show that's barely cared at all about consistency over time in pretty much any aspect, that's troubling. (Also, like, I signed up for a show about a bunch of teens in the forest, not a group of twenty-somethings...doing whatever they'll be doing in season 5. I feel a tiny bit like a promise has been broken, sorry.)

So having basically established that whatever this show used to be, it's not that anymore, I guess the question is: what is it now, and do I like it? I think this is the question every viewer basically has to ask themselves, consciously or no. For me, what I've seen the last two years is some mismash of GoT, general dystopia, repetitive story lines, action sequences, and nonsense "science." The plot is ridiculous,  the pacing is terrible, the emphases are (for my taste) in all the wrong places, the characters are shoddily drawn, and often times, it's fucking boring. It's a bad show. Things like loyalty to a few characters, interest in a few story lines, and sheer curiosity/inertia have kept me here despite it all, but at this point I feel the balance has just shifted imperceptibly the other way. Jasper's death has a lot to do with it (he was my favorite, he had the only good or even coherent story of S3, and the way his death and its aftermath were handled were so insulting one could easily justify a decision to stop watching as mini-protest), but I think that it was more the (very heavy) straw on the camel's back than anything else.

I guess the tl:dr version of this is GOODBYE BITCHES I'M DONE and yet I still can't even promise I won't be watching Season 5, like I can't predict how I'll feel in a year.

[pearlypetal]

Q: How do you feel now before the drama starts airing here? LSK: I'm really happy and looking forward to it (airing). The drama was recieved well in Korea and we recieved a lot of love from the fans watching it. I want to say thank you to everyone who watched the drama. It's a healing and very cute drama so I'm looking forward to see how the Japanese audience will feel about the drama and if they can feel the same thing we felt (when shooting it). NJH: I'm also looking forward to it. Although the drama was aired in Korea, I've heard that a lot of Japanese fans also went out of their way to watch it, and also that they enjoyed it. As the formal airing (in Japan) has been decided, I'm hoping that more people will be able to enjoy it.

Q: Can you please explain what the drama is about? LSK: I think that everyone who have watched the drama will say the same thing as I am, that it is very cute. However, although the drama is cute the plot evolves in every episode and (the viewers') feelings will become warmer and hopefully it will leave them feeling warm and fuzzy when the drama ends. All the actors and the staff say that they felt comforted/soothed when shooting the drama. The best way to explain "Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo" in one word would be... "healing". A very pure and nice feel-good-drama. NJH: I think I would use the word "adolescence/spring of life" (T/N: the word he used (青春) is usually used when describing the your youth in a nostalgic way). The drama portrays the feelings and emotions you had when you were in your adolescents. I think viewers in our age but also young people going through this stage right now can all think "Ah, this is youth" when watching our drama.

Q: The drama has finished airing in Korea.. LSK: I cried a lot. I watched the last episode with everyone yesterday, but I think I have to re-watch it because I cried too much! I can't remember a thing, I was literally crying the whole time.

Q: Please tell us about your characters in the drama. LSK: I play Kim Bok Joo. Her charm point is that she is very straightforward but also very pure. She does not hide her feelings, and as she is a member of the weightlifting club in the school you can't really sense any 'femininity' in her. However, when she falls in love for the first time she becomes aware of herself as a woman. She goes through a heart break, is also loved by another Joonhyung, goes through a slump etc. She's a character that will show you a variety of emotions through the drama, so please look forward to her story. NJH: I play the swimmer Jung Joonhyung. He's one of those characters who's actions you can't predict, but he also has a lot of charming things about him. And he is also very innocent, just like Bok Joo. Although he's college, he hasn't forgotten about his first love that he had in elementary school. I think the viewers will be able to see that charm of his.

Q: It's the second time you are acting as a swimmer in a drama. Your character in "Who are you? School 2015" was also a swimmer. How was it this time? NJH: It was really hard. LSK: I heard you say that you will never do it again! NJH: Swimming is a very hard. And it is even harder when you have to shoot it, as you have to take the same scene from several different angles. It was impossible to do it alone, so I had a stand-in sometimes, but when they were shooting angles in which you can see my face I had to be the one swimming, so I swam a lot. I don't want to do a shoot with me swimming ever again. LSK: There was a lot of scenes in the water, and since you have to move in line with the camera and not just stand still in the water, there were a lot of technical troubles. For example, you have to re-do your hair and make-up ever so often when you're shooting in the pool. I also think your skin has been damaged by it. (T/N: It's not indicated if she's talking about her own or NJH's skin).

Q: You must have trained a lot for the role? NJH: I would say that more than me training for the role, the role itself became my training. I was told by the actual swimmers that were in the drama that my swimming became faster after having shot half of the drama. The fact that I became faster even though I was really tired proved that it was worth the training. Since I have become better at swimming now I think I will reject offers that includes swimming from not on. I'm saying 'good-bye' to swimming for a while!

Q: How similar would you say you and your character are? LSK: (Nam Joo Hyuk and) Joonhyung are 400% similar! (laughs). I would say I'm very quiet and gentle, so I'm the opposite of Bok Joo, so it was actually quite hard to play her. Right? Next question! (laughs). NJH: Sung Kyung says I'm 400% similar to my character but I just think I was able to portray the character were well (laughs). I don't think we match 100%. I'm very laid back and enjoy reading books so.. I think that Bok Joo is actually really similar to Sung Kyung's personality. We had a lot of fun shooting the drama. LSK: Next question please! I'm really not at all like Bok Joo! Really!! NJH: I think that Sung Kyung was able to portray the character really well. And although my portrayal was lacking, I think I did a good job as well.

Q: Then, please tell us about each other (laugh). NJH: Although Sung Kyung said that she is very quiet and calm she has a really nice personality. I think a drama shoot is very dependent on the actors, and in this care Sung Kyung really was the mood maker on the set. I think her lively personality helped create the fun atmosphere we had on the set. LSK: Joo Hyuk really is exactly like Joon Hyung. Although he is more laid back than Joon Hyung, he is also a tiiiiny bit more charming (laughs). NJH: I think we are similar in many ways because I put a lot of myself into the character. LSK: When shooting this drama, I was able to see that Joo Hyuk is a very genuine/pure person. He is very smooth at portraying emotions. He also spends a lot of time thinking about acting, and having him as a partner was very comforting on the set. NJH: I'm not that pure though (laughs). LSK: Are you corrupt then? (laughs). NJH: No, I wouldn't say that I'm corrupt.. I would say that I'm acting similar to someone of my age (laughs). LSK: I am completely pure though (laughs). Sorry! (In Japanese:) sorry! (laughs).

Q: It seems like your chemistry is very good, but how good was your compatibility in acting?

LSK: If my partner had been someone I didn’t really know, I would go to them and talk about how I was planning on portraying my character. And while talking about acting I think I would take a step back (and follow their lead). Also, I would have to get to know them better as a person. However, with the two of us we could skip that completely. We have been modelling together for different magazines before, so when talking about how we want to do a scene, we didn’t have to be careful of the other’s personality or acting in that sense. We could just do it. We could also adapt better to the other’s acting and therefore react more naturally, so I think we did a good job. Right? NJH: We get along great. LSK: I won’t stare at you, so say what you want! (laughs) NJH: In this drama we did a lot of ad-lips. In other dramas, I made a point of talking about any ad-lips with my partner before, but during the rehearsal take in this drama I came up with a lot of ideas on the spot, so although I felt bad for Sung Kyung, I just did ad-lips without talking to her about it first. LSK: There were indeed a lot of ad-lips. NJH: However, because of how well she adapted to and participated in my sudden ad-lips, I think we were able to shoot a lot of really cute/charming scenes. LSK: I didn’t have to ‘create’ a reaction to his ad-lips. He really came out as quite pushy so I got a little bit irritated. However, Bok Joo also becomes irritated by Joon Hyung’s pushy attitude, so in a way it helped me portray Bok Joo’s reaction better (laughs). NJH: It seems like you only remember those irritating scenes.. LSK: It’s because they had a very strong impact on me. NJH: But I was talking about the scenes portraying Bok Joo and Joon Hyung’s love story though. I think I must have hurt Sung Kyung (with my pushy acting). I want to take this opportunity to apologise. It was only acting! (laughs). LSK: Your acting was very good (laughs).

Q: Both Bok Joo's secret crush and Joon Hyung's ex girlfriend are also in the drama (in addition to being a couple themselves). Who would you choose as a partner? LSK: Joon Hyung! NJH: Of course. I would choose Bok Joo. LSK: Of course (laughs). NJH: Although I feel bad for Shi Ho (Kyung Soo Jin) (for saying this), the time spent with Bok Joo was almost always fun. Although they are lovers, they are also very good friends. As professional athletes, they support each other and also listen to each other, and finding a partner like that is really not easy. Finding someone that will both communicate well and who will become your strength, and also someone you can count on is really hard. I really think Bok Joo and Joon Hyung should get married. Because of that I would choose Bok Joo.

Q: What are your plans now? NJH: I will rest (laughs). I have had many projects after each other for a while now, so I think I need some time to rest and recharge. LSK: I'm also planning to rest some. I think my body needs to rest as well. Both Joo Hyuk and me have had so many activities lately that I think it is important that we rest before starting anything new.

(T/N: This is not the complete interview, but at least most of it. Other questions have been asked in many other interviews so I didn’t feel the need to translate it. Also, some parts of their answers I didn’t translate because the meaning was not completely clear to me.)