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loredrinker · 2 days ago

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Inflection, Context, and Elven: Lavellan’s Veilguard Ending (romance state)

Lately, I’ve seen quite a bit of criticism directed at a romanced Lavellan on my dash - particularly in the Veilguard ending, interpreting her as needy, egotistical, or entitled.

And I am wondering: Did we watch the same ending? (I find it fascinating how differently people interpret the same moments - such a reflection of the human experience.) And I couldn't help myself! I felt compelled to share my interpretations so I punched this out the last few days.

The sticking point seems to be Lavellan’s words, especially the ones spoken in Elven.

It seems like a common interpretation of Lavellan’s words here are:

“It won’t be terrible if you’re with me.” (Implying possessiveness or entitlement - and that she alone will make it better.)

The game’s delivery offers no inflection on any word though. For me, it’s always been:

“It won’t be terrible if you’re with me.”

It’s subtle, but very different. This is just one micro-example of how much nuance is packed into the dialogue in the Veilguard ending. These lines shouldn’t be taken in isolation - especially not the Elven ones. They should be understood in the context of what Solas says to Lavellan in Elven just before, and beyond that, within the history established in Inquisition and Trespasser.

Indulgent Solas x Lavellan post ahead.

Note: I respect and appreciate all Solas ships and I will never post negativity towards other interpretations in this space. Everyone deserves to enjoy their creativity and find joy in their community. There’s more than enough Solas to go around. As for Lavellan’s portrayal in VG, it's not perfect. I understand the devs had the impossible task of balancing every interpretation of her. Some dialogue between Rook and Lavellan took me out of gameplay a bit. But I recognized then they had to condense countless versions of her into one, and perfection wasn’t possible. In general I have honest criticisms about the game but try to keep my posts positive overall.

Still here? Excellent. (And sorry, it's another long post.)

"Elven is often a game of intents, not direct mapping of phonetic meaning." The language doesn’t rely on straightforward translations of sounds or words into specific meanings. Instead, it operates on a deeper level, where intent and context carry as much weight.

Earlier in the game, when Solas confronts Elgar’nan, he says: “I must speak to you in this tongue. It seems Elven is beyond your grasp.” This insult implies that Elgar’nan has lost the ability to understand the nuanced, metaphorical nature of the language. Elven relies on shared understanding, rhythm, intent, to convey its full meaning. By Lavellan and Solas choosing to speak Elven to each other it's an acknowledgement of their shared understanding - a connection rooted in their history going back to Inquisition.

Which is why I embrace it in my interpretations.

I disliked that Veilguard kept out the Elven words and left only the English translations in. They can be found here: (Elven Language - Dragon Age Wiki) But for funsies, let's take Lavellan’s actual Elven dialogue and translate it literally: Banal nadas. Ar lath ma, vhenan. We already know from Inquisition that Banal nadas translates roughly to "Nothing is inevitable" - the same phrase Solas uses when confronting the Nightmare Demon. So Lavellan is saying: "Nothing is inevitable. I love you, my heart." The gall of this woman!

Since I do my best to keep my posts playing in the game’s sandbox, I’m going to just look at what the game tells us the translations are and not get into actual translations (others have done that far better than I ever could). There are some great fandom language resources linked at the end of this post.

Let's start where Lavellan enters and speaks in the common tongue:

This is personal and expansive. On one level, she’s speaking as someone Solas has wronged, reminding him of the pain he’s caused her directly. But on another, she’s channeling the voices of countless others whose lives were affected by him and who will be shattered by his actions. It’s a challenge that blends her role as both an individual and the Inquisitor.

It’s also not a condemnation. Lavellan doesn’t lash out or accuse him of being irredeemable. Instead, she questions him, cutting through to reach the man beneath. She’s speaking to Solas (wisdom).

"Vhenan" is acknowledging his love for her but it’s also symbolic of his heart, the part of himself he’s buried and tried to ignore, suddenly reappearing. Solas has spent much of his journey detached and isolated, removing his heart metaphorically to push forward with his plans without the weight of emotional ties. Lavellan’s presence makes it impossible for him to keep it hidden. His heart is right there, exposed and speaking. And the ellipsis - so many words unsaid.

Immediately Solas looks down (I read it as shame). It’s a reaction back to what he said in Trespasser: that he would not have her see what he becomes. And yet, here she is. She sees him, the terrible path he has chosen, the blood on his hands, the awful things he has done, and what he’s about to do. In that moment, his shame is palpable - because Lavellan is one person he couldn’t bear to face in this state.

And Lavellan doesn’t hesitate. Her next words are as much about holding him accountable as they are about reminding him that there is still another path.

This isn’t some starry-eyed, naïve Inquisitor we’re dealing with (at least mine isn’t). Lavellan is fully aware at this point. But her stance is clear: no one is beyond redemption, not even the Dread Wolf himself. And she wasn’t the only one – this message is repeated throughout the game by others.

Her words challenge the belief that has kept Solas shackled to his path. He’s convinced himself that his guilt and mistakes are too great, that there’s no turning back, and that the only option is to see his destructive plans through to the bitter end.

She doesn’t beg or demand or frame it in a way that’s grand and sweeping – she simply says “you’re wrong.”

She’s not trying to erase his mistakes or pretend they don’t exist. She's saying, Yes, you’ve done terrible things, but that doesn’t mean you’re beyond the reach of change.

Lavellan’s journey as Inquisitor began with the Anchor - a mark born of Solas’s mistakes and choices. From the moment she touched his orb (yes, it sounds dirty), her path became entwined with his. This isn’t Lavellan selfishly claiming Solas’s path; it’s an acknowledgment that their journeys have run parallel.

Their connection was forged long before either fully understood its implications. Lavellan’s work to stabilize Southern Thedas mirrors Solas’s aim to restore a broken world, including the burdens of being forced to take on titles and labels. She is revealing her own struggles with devastating, blood-soaked choices - choices that, like his, have carried profound consequences.

Solas believes he’s been walking this path alone, but Lavellan shows him she's been walking alongside him this whole time. Now, as their paths converge again, this is a reminder of the power of connection and the burdens they’ve both borne. He's actually not alone.

Her words also carry an unspoken promise: she is ready to continue to bear the consequences with him. She knows the road ahead is painful and fraught with difficulty, but she is steadfast.

Why do I feel that people sometimes forget Lavellan’s role as Inquisitor? She wasn’t defined by Solas; she was the leader of a powerful military and political organization, forced to make horrible decisions. Whether you choose the mages or templars in Inquisition, you doom thousands to torment and death. The Empress of Orlais can live or die based on the Inquisitor’s choices. And if you’re like me and made the wrong calls on the Dalish clan war table operation, her own clan can be murdered and wiped out. (Yes, I’m still haunted by that moment.) Her hands have blood on them too. This makes me wonder: does some criticism of the Solas/Lavellan romance stem from failing to see Lavellan as her own person? I love Lavellan for who she is as the Inquisitor - not because of Solas. Likewise, Solas is fascinating on his own. Their romance is one layer of the story, not the foundation of either character. Sometimes it feels like there are even some Solas/Lavellan lovers who have a tendency to overlook the depth and individuality of both characters outside of their romance.

Solas’s statement is a raw admission of all the guilt he carries for his deceptions and the pain he has caused her - lying to her about his identity, betraying her trust - not just as the Inquisitor, but as a person he loves.

His words are not an attempt to seek forgiveness but an acknowledgment of the truth - no matter how painful it is for them both. He knows his choices have caused devastation to the world and to her specifically. He's exposing the full weight of his dual burden: the grand, world-altering consequences of his plans and the personal betrayal of the woman he loves, who trusted him.

Perhaps, on some level, he hopes that reminding Lavellan of his lies and treachery will convince her to abandon him, sparing her further pain. His guilt and self-loathing are so entrenched that the idea of being forgiven - or even supported – either confounds him or terrifies him.

But Solas’s confession is not just a shield to push her away. It’s also an invitation for her to see him - not the wise, compassionate companion she knew, but the flawed, broken man beneath.

This moment to me shows that Solas still values Lavellan’s understanding (we also saw it in his letter to her). He doesn’t diminish the weight of his actions but wants her to see the cost of his deception - not just for her, but for himself. To Solas, his betrayal is unforgivable.

And yet - this "selfish" woman dares to forgive him anyway.

Forgiveness is an act of wisdom because it requires understanding - and she reflects that wisdom right back at him.

"All you have to do is stop" is heavy with meaning. Yes, on the surface, it’s a plea to stop tearing down the Veil, to reconsider the destruction. But it’s also a plea for him to stop running, to stop isolating himself, and to stop punishing himself for his failures. She’s asking him to step out of the shadow of his self-loathing and see that there’s another way forward, not by demanding or commanding, but by offering him compassion (forgiveness). (Cole, I miss you.)

But Solas’s guilt and self-loathing run deep.

With these words, Solas apologizes to his heart - hardening it once more. For a moment, it had softened, cracked open. But he shuts the door.

The bow that accompanies his words is loaded. A bow carries layers of meaning depending on context - reverence, respect, gratitude, apology, greeting or farewell, a spiritual act, acknowledgment, loyalty, mourning, or even a romantic gesture. Solas’s bow can mean all of these.

He is physically reinforcing the gravity of his apology. It’s a solemn moment. He is bowing to her strength, to all she has endured because of him. And when he calls her "vhenan," it is personal. It's an apology to her and to his own heart for not choosing the life he wanted to have with her. “...to stay by your side as Solas...as I wanted.”

The bow also carries guilt. He is acknowledging the pain he’s caused and humbling himself before her. And his eyes in the animation during this moment – I saw haunted, tormented, tired eyes – the eyes of a man grappling with the weight of his choices and the thought that he cannot accept redemption, even if it’s offered freely.

Time for a an indulgent moment - a bow can also symbolize acceptance. What if, in that moment, it’s not just an apology? What if it’s Solas saying, “You’re right. You have walked this path with me. I acknowledge that.” The bow could be a tacit agreement - a recognition of a future with her. What if he’s asking: I’m sorry, but I can’t stop, are you still coming with me? And Lavellan’s eyes right after? She looks down, like she’s contemplating this - what if he tears the Veil down? What happens next? What do I do? Anyway, maybe I indulged with this thought a little too much.

But, as I’ve said before, it takes a village to stop a Solas. Cue Morrigan and Mythal - but I’m not diving into that dialogue rabbit hole in this post.

But this scene with Mythal is important. Lavellan has just watched the man she loves completely crumble in front of Mythal. He’s bent over in grief/pain, utterly vulnerable. She hears him say, in anguish, “The things that I have done.” She sees him lift the dagger - perhaps to surrender it, to shield himself from Mythal, or even as a plea to Mythal to end his torment. Whatever the intent, Lavellan is witnessing the rawest, most broken Solas. His guilt is overwhelming, and this is the first time she’s truly seeing the full weight of it laid bare (as is Rook). It’s a moment of heavy sadness for her – and for us as players.

This scene seems to have created a universal understanding among players who love Solas, regardless of who you ship Solas with. We are all witnessing Solas in this moment of pure vulnerability. Let’s honor that shared empathy.

Solas is bent over with the emotional collapse of centuries of obligation and guilt coming to the surface. Mythal’s departure leaves Solas vulnerable, stripped of the purpose that has guided him for so long. He is alone in his pain.

For Lavellan, can you imagine the helplessness? All she can do is offer her presence, understanding, and faith in him afterward. That might feel like so little in the face of such immense pain, but it’s all she has to give.

Where Mythal’s words, spoken in the common tongue, are authoritative and final, Lavellan’s are intimate and personal. Her choice to speak Elven reflects her desire to meet Solas where he is - connecting with him on an intimate level.

Only after Mythal has left him exposed - that Lavellan uses the Elven language. In this moment, stripped of his defenses, he is finally open to hearing and feeling the full significance of the words and their intent.

Lavellan’s words challenge the notion that fate is immutable or inevitable. When she says, “there is no fate...,” she isn’t diminishing everything else in favor of her love; she’s rejecting the tyranny of inevitability. Her words assert that choices - rooted in love, connection, and shared purpose - have the power to shape their path forward. She reframes love as a force just as powerful as fate, capable of creating meaning and direction where there once seemed to be none.

Atonement

And at this point? Lavellan has no idea what Solas will do next. None of them do. But the combined efforts of Rook, Lavellan and Morrigan get through to him. Because Solas makes a choice - a monumental choice. He binds himself to the veil, committing to atonement. Atonement is a powerful, active word. It evokes the gravity of recognizing wrongdoing and the courage to address it. His decision to seek restoration with the Titans, to deal with the Blight, to return to where it all began, reflects the depth of his remorse and his willingness to rebuild the balance he disrupted – from the beginning.

Solas equates atonement with isolation, believing that his punishment must be borne alone. To him, atonement requires severing ties, including the possibility of love. He doesn’t ask Lavellan to join him because he cannot conceive of burdening her with the weight of his choices and the path he must walk.

But Lavellan’s words - once again - challenge that. She offers him the possibility that his actions, no matter how devastating, do not erase the love and faith others still have in him. This is an invitation.

She's also being vulnerable here. She’s offering herself to him, knowing full well that he still might say no. A risk she’s willing to take.

He doesn’t try to shut her out or push her away this time. Instead, he shifts the focus - he needs her to understand the gravity of the path they are about to walk. His response reflects his own vulnerability as well, he wants her to know what she’s choosing, but he can’t bring himself to reject her offer outright.

Solas responds in Elven - his acknowledgment of their shared understanding and their entire relationship and journey that has shaped them.

His words also mark a turning point: for the first time, Solas allows Lavellan her agency. Throughout their relationship, he has taken her choices away. He broke off their relationship in Inquisition. He vanished after Corypheus’s defeat, leaving her no say in it all.

And he knows this! During their confrontation in Trespasser, when Lavellan demands answers, he justifies his deception with, “And what would you have had me say? That I was the great adversary in your people’s mythology?” Her cutting reply, “I would have had you trust me!” lands with devastating clarity. His face falls, struck by the hard truth: the man who values freedom has stripped hers away. And he's going to do it again.

This moment in Veilguard feels like a callback to that. Lavellan is asserting her choice. And this time, Solas doesn’t take it from her.

By framing his destination in such stark, "terrible" terms, Solas isn’t pushing her away out of cruelty. He’s laying bare the enormity of what lies ahead, warning her of the peril while giving her the freedom to choose for herself. It’s his way of ensuring she understands the stakes.

Solas is doing what she requested long ago - trusting her - and what a choice to place that trust in. He’s entrusting her to make an informed decision about stepping onto a path that could shape the future of Thedas. He is trusting Lavellan’s strength and resiliency. And in trusting her, Solas reveals a quiet, unspoken truth: he doesn’t want to face this journey alone. By even presenting the choice, he reveals a quiet hope that she might go with him, despite everything.

To me, what makes this moment so achingly beautiful is the duality in his expression. His eyes seem to plead two things at once: “I don’t want to put you in harm’s way,” and “I can’t deny wanting to be with you.” There’s a raw vulnerability in the way he looks at her.

“It won’t be terrible if you’re with me.”

Lavellan’s response is a direct challenge to Solas’s warning. He tells her the path ahead will be awful - because of him. But she counters, saying that it’s because of him that it won’t be. This isn’t her forcing herself into his journey or suggesting that she alone will make it better. Instead, it’s her way of expressing that his presence will give her the strength to face whatever lies ahead. She’s trying to ease his mind, while also signaling her willingness to trust him again.

At the same time, her words acknowledge the weight of Solas’s suffering, offering herself as a partner to bear that burden together. She isn’t dismissing the risks or downplaying the severity of what’s to come - she’s choosing to stand beside him, fully aware of the challenges ahead.

It’s not about personal gain; it’s about shared resilience. Lavellan’s focus is on what they can endure together, not on what she might receive from the journey.

And since the Fade reflects emotions, as many have pointed out, their combined trust and love could manifest in ways neither of them can predict. Their bond has the power to shape not just their path but the very world around them.

This declaration is past, present and future; it’s a reaffirmation of their bond, a recognition that they’ve been walking the path of the dinan’shiral together all along. It’s future focused - she is offering to shoulder the burden with him going forward.

She’s also telling him that she won't abandon him, no matter how hard the road ahead may be.

And at the end of the day, she's a woman who still loves him. What does Prince Lir say in The Last Unicorn? "I love whom I love."

I've never interpreted Lavellan as someone sitting by a window for ten years, writing sad poetry and sighing into the wind, longing for Solas. She’s been busy - rebuilding a fractured world, navigating political fallout, and seeking understanding. Lavellan’s love for Solas isn’t blind devotion; she’s holding onto the possibility of redemption and the deep impact he had on her life. In my world state, Lavellan’s clan is wiped out. The people of the Inquisition have become her family, the ones she fights for and protects. And indirectly, Solas gave her that family. Despite the pain he’s caused, her love for him reflects the complexity of her journey - one defined not by a single relationship, but by hope, resilience, and the connections she’s forged along the way.

Lavellan then leans in to kiss him, and Solas allows himself to be drawn in. This moment is acceptance - a silent vow, a promise sealed in their shared vulnerability. It’s an intimate connection forged in front of those who have just witnessed the emotional storm that brought them to this point, as if to say, “This is where we stand, together.”

While I won’t dive into fly-cam images (you can find some here), there are some tender subtle details: the way he caresses her hands with his thumbs, the way he holds onto her one hand as she pulls away, as if he’s not ready to let go. But I promised to stay within game constraints.

And then Solas turns to Rook and says, “Thank you.”

Solas doesn’t thank Rook when he hands them the dagger, nor when he’s preparing to walk into the Fade. He says it after the kiss. Make of that what you will but Rook’s is symbolic for me, especially after thinking about this ending a bit.

In thanking Rook, Solas acknowledges not only their actions but also their understanding of the connection he shares with Lavellan. Rook, transformed by their own relationships and the bonds they’ve formed throughout their journey, embodies the themes that have always defined Dragon Age to me: connection, fellowship, community, love, and redemption. These games (again, for me) have always been about how people, despite their flaws and struggles, can come together to make the impossible possible.

Rook’s symbolism in the redemption ending feels like the culmination of this ethos. They represent how even those who begin on the periphery of great events can become central to forging bonds and creating change. Solas’s gratitude is for Rook's empathy, their recognition of the importance of connection, and their role in bringing these threads of love and redemption together. I'll go cry now.

And off they go into the Fade.

The Final Translation

"With Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain dead, and the Inquisitor finally reunited with her true love, it looked like one of the biggest stories the world had ever seen was finally drawing to a close."

Varric’s narration ties the ending image back to the connection between Inquisition and Veilguard. Inquisition is the Inquisitor’s story; Veilguard is Rook’s. Solas serves as the thread linking them. Varric frames this moment through Lavellan’s perspective, narrating the story like one of his novels - not to diminish Solas, but to highlight the Inquisitor’s journey. After all, Veilguard wouldn’t exist without Inquisition. Rook wouldn’t be working with Varric or searching for Solas if not for the Inquisitor.

As much as I would have loved a deeper focus on Solas, Veilguard wasn’t his story. If Inquisition is the Inquisitor’s story and Veilguard is Rook’s, this ending is a shared culmination: for a romanced Lavellan, it’s the personal resolution of her journey; for Rook, it’s recognition of their critical role in saving Thedas.

Okay, indulgence over - whew, that was long! I really need to practice shorter posts.

In the end, those who dislike this romance or this ending probably always will. That’s fine; I just wanted to share my interpretations because I genuinely love this story for all its complexity.

To everyone who made it to the end of this post - thank you for joining me in my indulgence. May your own Solas ships continue to bring you joy and inspiration.

Elven language resources:

Project Elvehn on AO3

Elven Translator

World Anvil Elvhen Resource

Reddit on Elvhen Poetry

#solas #dragon age #dragon age veilguard #dragon age inquisition #solas analysis #lavellan #mythal #datv #Rook #solavellan #solasmancer #fandom ships #da:i #dragon age trespasser #solas x lavellan #The Last Unicorn reference!

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eldenringslut · 6 months ago

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I feel like people are getting a bit too angry at the whole Radahn final boss thing. I’m not saying you have to like it, but I’ve been seeing a lot of rage that feels a bit misplaced in my opinion. Also as usual this is just my opinion so feel free to disagree with me.

In terms of gameplay, Consort Radahn has a new moveset and fight tempo that, despite calling back to his original fight with some moves, feels pretty distinct to fight in my opinion.

In terms of lore, I’ve also seen people saying that Miquella’s description of Radahn basically makes him reddit ‘Chadahn’. I disagree with this.

It’s important to remember that this is Miquella giving his personal view of Radahn, and that he is an unreliable narrator. Radahn still has all the same flaws and complexities as before, the evidence for that from the base game isn’t gone. The only difference is that we now know Miquella’s (in my opinion childlike) perspective of him.

Additionally, although we know that Radahn fought against becoming Miquella’s consort in the end, we have no idea if the vow was initially one sided or not. Maybe Radahn rejected it from the start. Maybe he initially agreed because he thought Miquella (as an Empyrean) wanted to become the Erdtree’s god rather than supplant it’s order. Maybe he jokingly agreed to Miquella’s childish request not realising that Miquella would never be anything but a child. We simply don’t know, and I personally think all of these interpretations are interesting in their own right.

Adding onto this, a lot of people seem to be hating on Miquella’s character for becoming the ‘villain’ of the DLC. But think of it like this. If Miquella is an eternal child who had always had the ability to compel love and affection, why would he see love as anything other than a tool. It probably doesn’t even occur to him that maniputating others with magic is wrong or sinister in any way.

This also explains why he so coldly abandons Malenia, despite his obvious affection for her. He does genuinely care for her, he just has an extremely skewed perception of what love and affection is. He probably thinks something like; “Oh, but I’ll be able to make her feel happy and loved when I come back so it’s fine that I’m abandoning her for hundreds of years 😊”. I personally really like what the DLC did with Miquella’s character, even if it’s different from what we expected.

Now that’s not to say I like everything about what the DLC did with the lore. In particular, I don’t like how Malenia’s motives in Battle of Aeonia is simplified. Instead of it being a clash of ideologies, a fight between two mighty demigods that deeply respect each other’s strength or a desperate attempt to free the stars from stasis, Malenia is reduced to a brainwashed attack dog. This also cheapens Finlay’s sacrifice in my opinion (although you could also see it as enhancing the tragedy of it all by making her sacrifice less meaningful).

I’m also still unsure as to why Miquella would embed himself in the Haligtree before making Mohg kidnap him. If that was his goal from the start why embed himself in the first place? He could have just gone with Mohg in his normal form?

One possible explanation for this is that he didn’t initially plan to get kidnapped by Mohg, and wanted to enter the Land of Shadow by using his Haligtree to form a counterpart in the LoS like the Scadutree? Maybe he switched his plan and brainwashed Mohg after being kidnapped? We know from the War Surgeon set description that Mohg already has a propensity for kidnapping so idk.

Anyway that’s enough rambling for now I think. As usual my reccomended lore youtuber is Smoughtown.

#elden ring #elden ring lore #elden ring theory #shadow of the erdtree #shadow of the erdtree spoilers #sote spoilers

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seeker-ophelia · 2 months ago

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Ophelia’s Review, Part 1: The Emotion

Like most people on tumblr, I went into Veilguard for Solavellan. I needed a happy ending for them. I had obsessed and freaked and theorized for years. But before I delve into VG I need to explain some backstory. This is going to be as much a biography of me as it is a tale of my rook. And its going to be long, so you know, heads up. And Veilguard Spoilers.

I have been really struggling to get my thoughts into a coherent string after act 2 of VG. I feel like I can’t even review the game because I’m so emotionally wrecked, all I can do is tell a story. If you want to read this, be forewarned, its long, also, obviously spoilers, Veilguard. But… holy god my Rook.

[Part 2 is here]

My first Dragon Age game was Origins, in 2009. I torrented it off Pirate Bay and played on my aging laptop that could barely handle it. And I loved it. I had never played a game like this before and loved the emotional and story-telling aspects of the game. I played as a Dalish rogue, Lelianna and Zevran were my best friends. Morrigan was the awe-inspiring yet traumatized goth-girl, and I fell for the golden-retriever bastard king of Ferelden.

I did not only watch on in broken-hearted horror as he ascended to his throne beside Anora without me, but I had him lie with Morrigan, the weirdo-turned-friend, because I trusted her, and frankly, I didn’t want to die.

And it broke me in a way the fantasy books I inhaled like oxygen as a child never did.

Because I chose to do those things. I made the choice. For right or for wrong, I was the one who decided their fate, even if those choices came back to bite me in the ass later.

I played Origins three more times over the next 5 years, through what I now call my University Years. I was broke, stressed, and overworked, and Origins became a comfort to me. I even properly bought the game with the DLCs the last time, because I had a little more money, and I figured a game that I had played and loved so much deserved it. (Never played 2, and that was my own fault). I discovered Fan Fiction because of Origins.

Then… I did some life things that I’m not going to air into the internet, but I kind of got my life together around 2016/17. I had a good job, a career even, and while I was by no means wealthy, I was okay.

And I heard about Dragon Age Inquisition, and remembered my old love for Origins, and gave it a go. I’ve always been a fantasy stan (I grew up with LotR), if you give me the option to play as a mage or an elf I’m going to do it. I wanted to romance Leliana, especially after her bad-assery in Redcliffe, but that turned out to be impossible. Because I never played 2, I didn’t know who Cullen was, and I romanced him (my love letter to Alistair). And while I liked the game, loved it even, I didn’t feel that emotional pull that Origins made me feel, and I put it aside. I’ve played some other games I’ve liked throughout the years, Fable, Skyrim, The Witcher, and I liked them all, but none of them really gut-punched me like that first fated Origins playthrough.

Cut to 2020, covid, and fuck if I didn’t have anything better to do, so I played DA2.

Oh man, I laughed at the graphics, oh it was so bad after Inquisition, how did anyone play this? And then I walked Darktown with Anders, walked slaver dens with Fenris, helped my Merrill with her Eluvian, and Isabela with her relic. And I helped my friend Varric in the deep roads. And I began to feel a tendril again of what I had in Origins. Who cared about the graphics, the gameplay, the locations, these people’s stories were what was driving this tale, and that was amazing and rare.

And I went into Inquisition with new eyes. I could not touch Cullen again, not after how he acted in Kirkwall. I knew Solas left, so I wanted to try and romance Bull (I’ve seen the youtube videos; ‘So you want to ride The Bull’). But I slowed down my playthrough this time, talked to everyone, actually spoke to Solas over and over in Haven. Indominatable focus indeed, hahren. What a curiosity you are. And I fell for fucking Solas.

A bald fucking hobo apostate, are you for real? Brain, get your head in the game. And my heart said, wait.

But he leaves! You know he leaves!

Well, maybe I’m just destined to fall in love with emotionally unavailable fictional people.

And I played Descent and Hakkon for the first time, which were fantastic. And then I played Trespasser.

And Trespasser broke me. Just like Origins did.

And my Casual Dragon Age Days were done. I was feral.

But I also had a very demanding job. I could not just play video games for large chunks of time. I worked. A lot. I mean a lot. And in the fall of this year, I burnt out. I quit. I’ve got Real Shit going on in my life right now, and I’ve worked so much I can afford to take some time off.

And Dragon Age was there to welcome me, arms open wide, with Escapism 4.0, AKA The Veilguard. I spent hours crafting theories, making connections, playing Inquisition again, playing DA2 again, writing, actually writing Fics again. I read the comics, read TN, watched Awakening (twice).

I joined tumblr to stop being a lurker and actually participate. Joined Caitie and Kala’s patreons, just loving the hype and the theory crafting and the love for Veilguard. I love the Dragon Age world. It has helped me through so many tough times in my life, and its going to get me through this one, too.

I found community online. In tumblr, in reddit, in discord.

And I breathed Dragon Age for almost 2 months before Halloween. Solas this and Lavellan that and Fade and Magic and Titans and Gods and Love. Remember this, don’t forget about that, did you hear this theory, well what about the connection between…

To quote myself, Like most people on tumblr, I went into Veilguard for Solavellan. The companions came out, and I didn’t feel super strongly about any of them. I didn’t even feel strongly about my Rook. I had a general idea, especially because of Trick’s IGN interview, Rook/Mirror/Solas, but nothing really concrete.

And then Nadas-Dirthalen asked me about my Rook a few days before Halloween, and I had to think about it. I had to put down Solas and Lavellan, I had to put down my theories, put down the lore, and pick up this new thing. This Rook.

And I looked at it.

What did I want her to act like? What did I want her to look like? How did I want her to be? What drives her? Where is she from? What are her goals? What does she like? What does she hate?

And I weaved a new friend. Danivas (Dani, for short). Escaped rabbit slave out of Minrathous, her magic the only thing that saved her from hard labor in Dock Town or the mines, and then it was the only thing that saved her from the unwanted advances of the Tevinter Nobility. Rescued by the Dragons in her teens, she sought connection to her elvhen heritage with the Veil Jumpers, falling hard (platonically) for her mentor, her sister, Bellara. Everything she hated about herself, Bellara loved, and Bellara was flighty enough to need protecting, especially after Cyrian, so that’s what she became. Bellara’s protector. Arlathan’s protector. Protector of the small, and defender of the powerless. She will never apologize for saving Varric and the others at the cost of some stupid magic map, she would pay that price a hundred times over to save living beings.

And I made her in CC, I walked her through the streets of Minrathous, through Solas’ ritual, through Arlathan forest. My heart sang when I saw Harding again, and knew that Rook and Harding would be best friends. And I began to fall for the characters.

My Veil Jumper sister Bellara, poised but wickedly intelligent Neve, violent and troubled Lucanis, steadfast and resolved Davrin with playful Assan, towering yet growing Taash, and mystifying, immortalizing Emmerich, with his weird but I guess acceptable Manfred.

I helped Harding, Paragon of her time, discover her new mystifying magic, to find peace through pain, just as Bellara had done for Dani.

I learned all their stories. Their loves. How to interact with them, what they liked and didn’t like. And I fell, for Assan. That fucking griffon. Is so cute. How can you not love him? He’s just like Dani. Forced through circumstance to fight terrible evil, not necessarily against their nature, but certainly not what they would prefer to be doing. They are powerful and special and fierce and playful.

And, like any child, rebellious.

Dani helped Davrin through parenthood. He was a soldier, a commander, not a father, or a teacher, and though she was brash and sarcastic, she had been Bellara’s protector, she knew honey over vinegar, and pushed him to be gentler with Assan. Watched them grow together and felt such unhinged joy through their path to tulum. And then she looked up from digging her fingers into the feathers in Assan’s neck one day to see Davrin staring down at her, and thought, oh.

Her heart stuttered. And they flitted about each other for a long time. Teasing and testing, flirting and ribbing.

As she walked the steps of the Cobbled Swan to meet Morrigan, she told herself she would bring Davrin to Arlathan again, without Assan, and without any gingerwort tea. Just the two of them, and she would tell him what he meant to her.

But the Gods had different plans.

And they had to move, NOW.

Davrin, the Grey Warden constantly surrounded by death and destruction, tried to warn me.

What if one of us doesn’t come back?

I actually let myself imagine the future.

Our future.

With our half-bird, half-cat kid.

And Dani, who had never had much hope for anything before, brought her hand to Davrins face with a soft smile, and soothed her Griffon Daddy, Var Lath Vir Suledin, Davrin.

When we win, when we beat this thing, we will come back here, and I will show you how much I love you.

Every Solas fresco I uncovered, I cried. Every memory, every revenant, even the ones I saw coming. I felt so much emotion for Solas, even as my love for Rooks Companions grew. Dani’s love for Davrin grew, in a very real, fast, surprising way.

But the Gods Eclipsed the Sun, and we had to move, NOW.

Of course I chose the Grey Warden to lead the charge against the Antaam. I needed Taash and Harding with me, and he was better suited to the roll. Harding is a scout, not a commander, and Davrin would have Lucanis for any sneaky mischief he would need, with Emmerich for any quick heals.

Imagine my relief when we met up again. I made a choice and he didn’t die, thank you, BioWare.

No, Neve, Bellara is better suited to deal with old Elvhen Magic.

And then Elgar’nan took her from me. Dani’s sister. Her home.

And she blasted through darkspawn and Blight to get to Elgar’nan, to get to Bellara.

But they had to get through Ghilan’nain first.

Fuck you Ghilan’nain if you think I’m fighting alone, my strength is my team, and I will move Fade and Titan to get to them. And Dani frees them, only to have Lucanis foiled, again. How do we get out of this? What do we do?

Upside down, she watches Davrin scale a crumbling tower, and their eyes meet.

No.

Whatever it takes.

Davrin, No.

His voice is deep and commanding, resolute and resolved.

“Assan!”

And Dani’s scream tangles with Assans as her son smashes into Ghillan’nain’s back.

The Blighted Goddess stumbles, and Lucanis and Dani fall to the ground, but Ghilan’nain’s blight is lightening, and when Dani looks up at Davrin two tentacles have speared him, his eyes wide and unseeing into the dark sky.

She screams again, Ghilan’nain forgotten, and as she watches Assan dive to the aid of his fallen partner, Dani is knocked back by a concussive blue blast; the Crow has fulfilled his contract.

The air is charged, the veil tearing here, Emmerich is yelling something at her, she must remove the dagger or this world will be torn asunder.

And then there’s overpowering, pressured silence. Grey and fog and stone and loneliness surround her, and all she can see or hear is Solas.

You were never ready to make the sacrifices that leadership requires.

Davrin. Assan. Bellara. My family. Is GONE. Because of ME.

Well, shit, kid. Haven’t you learned anything from this place? I made the choice, even knowing the risks. My decision, my sacrifice, and you don’t get to take that from me.

And Emmerich and Lucanis pull her from her prison of regret, and she knows she can’t blame herself, that would be taking away Davrin and Bellara’s agency, but you know who she can blame?

Solas.

The man my Lavellan loves. The man I swore to save. The one I started this game for. The one who made me feral for Dragon Age.

He did this to me.

Solas took away my love. By not being able to face his regrets.

And Dani became Hardened.

“Are you certain you’re alright, Rook?”

“We’ve still got work to do. I can collapse when this is over.”

“You needn’t carry this burden on your own. The rest of us will send word to our allies. You must take care of yourself in the meantime. We’ll speak again soon.”

But she was fine. She would be fine. Had to be fine. They had a job to do. Gods to kill. People to save.

It was walking past Assan’s spot in the courtyard that broke her.

Mourn Davrin?

To the Void with that.

I will avenge him.

I will kill the Elf who started all of this, forget Mythal, forget Lavellan, forget the Blight.

Mirror.

Solas cannot blame himself, that would be taking away the agency of his friends, but you know what he can blame?

The Veil.

I will end the curse that started all of this, forget Mythal, forget Lavellan, forget the Blight.

Mirror.

I will defend the small.

Mirror.

I will free the enslaved.

Mirror.

You were never ready to make the sacrifices that leadership requires.

Mirror.

Its easier to play the villain, because that means you didn’t fail, all the damage you’ve done, all the people you’ve hurt…

Mirror.

It becomes a choice.

Mirror.

Remind yourself who you really are.

Mirror.

But will you listen?

Mirror.

Rook lays on the cold cobblestone, eyes wide, fist white-knuckled around the lyrium dagger, a battered and bruised Solas standing behind her. Her anger got her through her battle with Elgar’nan, but it will not help her here.

Rook will have to live with the choices she made. The successes and the failures. She can’t blame Solas. It's easier to blame Solas. But that’s exactly what Solas did, place blame where it did not belong, and it destroyed the world.

And her anger and hate and grief and despair swallow and consume itself into the tiniest, smallest fleck of a wisp.

Of hope.

She rose slowly, meeting Solas’ gaze, and places the dagger in his outstretched, bloody hand.

I don’t want to see any more pain on top of what Elgar’nan has done.

(Hope)

Your prison is made of regrets, and you are trapped in yours.

(I’ll not be trapped in mine)

Destroying everything won’t erase your mistakes.

(Killing Solas won’t bring Davrin and Assan back)

You have the chance, right now, to save the world. Bind yourself to the veil and stop it from failing.

And it takes the Mother, the Maiden, and the Mirror, for Solas to accept his past.

As Lavellan walked the din’an shiral after Solas, Rook walked it for Davrin.

As Varric released Dani from her regret, Mythal released Solas from his.

As Solas turns to the Eluvian, the Magic Mirror named Rook, he is forced to see his faults, and how to fix them.

His corrupted purpose is repairable. And he passes his torch to the Mirror, vowing to seek atonement for the sins of his past, sins grown and amplified because he refused to face the truth of them.

And that will probably hit everyone, because I’d wager good coin that if you’re playing video games, or reading fantasy, you’ve used escapism before, but it hits especially hard for me. Right now. At this point in my life. When my own personal veil I’ve constructed to hold back my own evils is crumbling around me because I have not faced the truth of my own past sins, my memories as demons grown and amplified and slipping through cracks because I refused them for so long. My choice.

And when Solas and Ellana walked into the sunset, I cried. And cried. And cried. Because this whole time I thought I was my Inquisitor, bare your blade and raise it high, look to the sky, for one day soon, the dawn will come, var lath vir suledin. Bellanaris. Perseverance, endurance, outlive, outlast, that is what you need.

When in reality I am my Rook. Let go of your regret. You don’t need to hold on to this, you need to let it go.

We all have to face our regrets. Accept them, and then let them go. Running from them only makes them worse.

And I leave with the lyrics of the Veilguard Credits song, “Roll The Credits,” by Danielle Ponder:

I could feel it, I won't come down I could see it, oh, with all eyes Hold my head and saw the whole sky I never felt so damn alive And if there's smoke, then I'll be water If there's fire, I'll be rain

We were lost, but we weren't stranded We were dreamers on the run I gave my all, it was commanding And we just did this shit for fun I could feel it, I won't come down Found myself above the sky Tell my mama, tell my daddy That love is falling from the sky

Good God Almighty, I done opened my mind These holy waters left a chill down my spine

#Dragon Age #Certified Long Post #Long Post #Veilguard Review Part 1 #Dragon Age Rambles #Ophelia Rambles #Dragon Age Veilguard #Dragon Age: The Veilguard #Ophelia Reviews #Veilguard #Veilguard Spoilers #DATV #datv spoilers #Part 1 The Emotion #Spotify

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rhondafromhr · 26 days ago

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Hey Sims 2 nation, who wants to hear about my super elaborate kinda unhinged AU involving the Grunt, Curious (mostly Vidcund), Smith and Specter (mostly Ophelia) households?? Some of this is inspired by the game and my own playthroughs, some of it kinda diverges, some of it’s stuff that’s plausible for the characters imo but can’t really be replicated in actual gameplay. Also partially inspired by this post. I’ll probably give in to the demons and turn this into a 100k longfic at some point, but for now here’s what I got. It’s not fully fleshed out yet but hope you enjoy! Also hope you see the vision for Vidcund/Buzz, I’ve never seen a single person put them together (understandable, it is very much a crackship) but I think they have the potential for SUCH a fun and interesting dynamic and could really push each other to change, for better for worse.

—The way I interpret Buzz is as a deeply flawed sim, but one who has room to improve and do better. He wasn’t the most involved parent, leaving most of the difficult work to Lyla (as seen in the in-game memories with her having taught most of their toddler skills), he obviously favors Tank, being harsher on Ripp and ignoring Buck, he puts a lot of pressure on all of them to live up to a very strict set of ideals. This impacts all of the kids negatively in different ways. Obviously not great, but I do believe that he does care about them and with the right catalyst, he could begin to see the error of his ways and make an effort to change. Like he’s not going to become the most open, accepting, emotionally available dad-of-the-year overnight, but I think he could sort of redeem himself over time. I see him as the type of sim who, once his mind sets on something, is all in, so I think once he realized how shitty he’s been, he’d throw himself into trying to be a better parent, although he would definitely not get it right on the first tries and would continually make mistakes. Of course there are going to be growing pains in an arc like this and he has some pretty skewed ideas of what good parenting looks like.

—I definitely get why he’s portrayed as straight-up abusive and virtually irredeemable in a lot of fanworks and that characterization is valid, but based the limited info we have from family and individual bios, memories, environmental storytelling, personality points, etc I think you could go in either direction and have a decently solid basis for it in canon. (Buzz in Division 47 in The Sims 2 PSP is a different story, but tbh I see that as an entirely different timeline and a lot of the characterizations are different.)

—So anyway, here’s how it starts: Buzz is spying on his neighbors with the telescope because he’s a fucking freak who can’t mind his own business; Vidcund comes over to yell at him for spying because he’s also a fucking freak and assumes Buzz is spying on his household specifically. Buzz keeps doing it to spite him because no one tells him what to do on his own watcher-damn property. This continues every day and although neither would ever admit it, they both start looking forward to it bc they’re both lonely. Neither has many close relationships and every close relationship they do have is strained—Buzz with his kids bc he hasn’t been a very good father, Vidcund with his brothers bc there’s always been tension with Pascal over the whole Circe thing and he hasn’t been getting along with Lazlo as well recently. (That bit is inspired by my playthroughs—every time I load up that household, Vidcund and Lazlo have a negative interaction that causes them to lose their status as best friends). Slowly but surely, they build up a rapport and eventually something akin to friendship.

—Buzz gets his demotion, just like in the game’s scripted events, and will soon struggle to pay his mortgage and keep up his family’s current standard of living on his new salary, but he would rather die than admit to failure so he needs to find a way to stay in that house and keep up appearances. Meanwhile, with Pascal’s new alien baby, the Curious household is always loud and chaotic. Vidcund resents the lack of quiet and alone time and the interruption to his routine. Oh, look at that, Buzz has a spare room, and there are no crying babies in his house, just two horribly maladjusted teenagers and an attention-starved tween. Cue the “And they were roommates.”

—At some point, Buzz decides to try and get Buck into private school and invites the headmaster over. He enlists Vidcund’s help and they pose as a married couple (if he wants to impress this snobby ass school he can’t let on that he needs a roommate, and he sees that as the most plausible explanation for why Vidcund lives there. Also at this point Vidcund’s a professor at La Fiesta Tech so that kind of helps make them look even more impressive.)

—Buzz forces Tank and Ripp to spend the weekend camping at Three Lakes because he doesn’t trust them to get along for the night and make a good impression (who’s fault is that, Buzz?? Who played favorites and pitted them against each other??). They have a side story bonding and overcoming some of their issues there.

—To really sell it, Buzz and Vidcund casually touch each other here and there (an arm around the waist, hand on the shoulder, etc.) Both of them are too emotionally constipated to show affection in any way, especially physical, so they’re both super touch starved and end up liking it a lot. Like, a lot.

—Even though dinner fully caught on fire and nearly burned the house down, they manage to get Buck in. Buzz is all giddy (although he tries to hide it and be his usual gruff self) and keeps giving Vidcund these soft looks when he thinks he’s not looking.

—They end up sleeping together (in the literal sense, not woohoo) but Buzz’s reaction to it makes it seem like more happened. He’s all stressed over it, wondering what does this mean?? What are they?? He can’t believe he allowed himself to receive slight physical intimacy and comfort. What’s gotten into him??

—Cue Buzz and Vidcund lounging in the kitchen in their boxers and undershirts sipping coffee when Tank and Ripp come home early. Buzz is mortified and stammers trying to explain himself, but the boys Do Not Care.

—The fucking family drama this would cause!!! Imagine the Curious family finally finding out who Vidcund’s seeing. Pascal would be furious. Lazlo would just be confused, and maybe concerned for Vidcund, but they all suck at feelings and communication so he doesn’t express it in the best way. Then Vidcund gets pissed at his brothers, causing even more tension in their already strained relationship.

—Jenny I think would be extremely weary of Buzz because of his and PT9’s history and make it clear that she’s not going to tolerate any bullshit, but would try and put her best foot forward. She’s happy to see Vidcund in a relationship that seems to be making him happy and isn’t just one-sided stalking on his part (RIP Circe Beaker).

—When Jenny tries to talk to the other brothers about this, they’re already fragile and take it to mean that she sees their arrangement of living and co-parenting Pascal’s kid together instead of with romantic partners as inferior (bc a part of this is that they feel like Vidcund abandoned them for the Grunt family). They also incorrectly assume that Jenny thinks she’s better than them for having a more traditional family. And there WAS a time when she worried about them staying single in Pascal’s case or unmarried/only seeing Crystal casually in Lazlo’s (when you load up the household in the game, she almost always rolls the want to have a baby, but by that point she’s too close to being an elder to be able to do so; I think she adores her husband and her family and wouldn’t change anything, but because she waited so long due to PT9 being gone on his assignment, she wasn’t able to have a large family like she always wanted. So at some point she would have worried about her brothers waiting until it’s “too late” like she did, in a sense, but once she realized they really didn’t want that, she supported them.)

—PT9 is the type of sim to always take the high ground and focus on his own life and the people he loves, so Buzz’s beef with him has always been kind of one-sided anyway (saw a post of them as that “when someone’s so hateful it inspires you to be kinder”/“when someone’s so kind it actually disgusts you” meme and like yeah. That’s their dynamic). Buzz clumsily tries to make amends, and they slowly bond and put the time they fought in a Waffle House parking lot behind them (yes that is where the fight happened, it’s 10000% canon, trust). PT9 or Jenny will often playfully remind him about how he got his ass handed to him, but by this point (shockingly) he’s actually grown a sense of humor and he doesn’t mind. I just love the idea of Buzz, Jenny and PT9 having a slowburn enemies to friends arc.

—This leads to Jenny and Vidcund reconnecting. Between being significantly older and not sharing a lot of the same interests that her brothers always bonded over, I think Jenny always felt a little alienated and left out. Almost like they were in an exclusive little club she didn’t get to be a part of. But now Vidcund’s kicked out of the club too because Pascal and Lazlo hate his ass (not really. They’re just hurt and need time to come around to the idea of him being with Buzz Grunt of all people). So they get to get to know each other as adults and discover what they do have in common. Both love botany and they start gardening together. Jenny minored in botany and she’s extremely knowledgeable. Both are elated to have someone they can share their passion with. Vidcund is shocked and scandalized to learn that she grew and sold her own weed back in high school and college. (She still does on the side but shhh don’t tell Buzz). Both love to read and they form a little book club. They start out only reading the classics and scientific literature, wanting to impress each other, but they both have a secret love of trashy, pulpy romance novels that they try desperately to hide out of embarrassment. Eventually, they realize this and add some of those books into the rotation.

—As his relationship with Buzz has gotten more serious, Vidcund’s kind of struggling with his new role as essentially a stepdad, and Jenny and PT9 are the go to people for parenting advice. One night PT9 is essentially like “my brother in Watcher, it’s good that you care but you worry too much, there’s no guidebook and none of us truly know what we’re doing, everybody fucks up sometimes.” And Jenny’s like “preach”. (They also may or may not be stoned off Jenny’s primo weed for this discussion).

—What are the kids up to during all this?? Well, Ophelia, tired of her anxieties ruling her life, decides to explore the mysteries and weird supernatural occurrences of Strangetown. Initially, her goal is simply to learn how to exorcise ghosts so she can finally have some peace and quiet at home and no longer be constantly scared by them, but deep down it’s about proving to herself that she can be brave and overcome her fears. Through the process, gaining an understanding of the town’s weirdness will also give her a sense of control and make it seem less unknowable and terrifying. She drags Ripp and Johnny into it (they’re a polycule btw; they’re such an inseparable trio to me. I have installed mods in my game to allow polyamory solely so they can be together) and they begin to spend all their free time exploring the town and uncovering its secrets.

—Now that Tank and Ripp are cool, Ripp wants to spend more time with his brother, so Tank attempts to make things right with Johnny and Johnny gives Tank a chance, mainly for Ripp’s sake. So Tank kind of fourth wheels them and tags along on their adventures, but he doesn’t mind. He’s vibing and actually having fun for once. They also have to sneak around a lot bc Olive is really strict, as is Buzz (although he has started to loosen up a little at this point) and Tank really loves the shenanigans and rebelling because he’s never allowed himself to do that.

—I think Tank and Ophelia could eventually become close. They’re both bundles of tension and anxiety and hold themselves to impossible standards (Ophelia channels this into trying to be the perfect student and obsessing over her grades). They both struggle to let go of control because neither has really had any in their home lives. Neither one has really gotten the chance to talk about the parents they lost or given themselves space to properly grieve (Ripp hasn’t either), always too focused on surviving the here and now, but would eventually come to allow themselves to do so. (Haven’t really fleshed it out yet but the catalyst for this is that one of the supernatural adventures they go on involves ghosts and the need to process things to be able to move on to the next plane. It’s, like, annoyingly on the nose and Not Subtle Whatsoever to the point where it actually irritates them.)

—Also Tank is aroace. I see a character that doesn't have a canonical love interest and I go, “It’s free real estate” and hit them upside the head with the aroace beam. He starts out deeply ashamed of it, feeling like he failed to live up to the standards of masculinity his dad used to put on him and that he continues to put on himself, but slowly comes around to be okay with it.

—Buck and Jill become besties. I think it starts out as sort of a “well our families spend like every second together now. You’re literally always around and we’re the only two kids around our age at the function. I guess we’re friends?” type of deal. Like they’ve always been chill and friendly with each other at school, but never super close. But Jill brings out Buck’s more playful and imaginative side and helps him to just be a kid, and in turn she gets a new partner in crime. He also helps her gain the confidence to stand up to a few little shits who have been making fun of her at school, and they get their revenge on them with some kind of epic prank. They get in trouble for it and Buck expects Buzz to either be mad at him or ignore him per usual, but instead Buzz is proud that he stood up for his friend and for what was right.

—One day Buck and Jill are left alone in the house with the dog (I always get the Smiths a big dog and name it something stupid like Floofmaster 5000) and decide to give it a bath, haircut and dye job after Buck tells her about his dreams of being a celebrity pet groomer. (Fun fact for those not familiar with the game, that’s canon. IIRC it says something about him wanting to become a pet groomer to the stars in his bio. Sadly there’s no such career path in game to my knowledge). The Smiths come home to a bright pink dog with a surprisingly well-done haircut and a pink-stained bathroom. Jenny and PT9 try to (gently) scold the kids but they can’t stop laughing. PT9 dyes his hair pink to match the dog (in my heart he’s the classic “was adamant about absolutely not wanting a dog but then got the most attached to it” dad). Jenny joins in too because she always used to dye her hair fun colors and she misses it.

—Maybe Buck and Jill get crushes on each other and eventually date when they get older?? I usually put them together after sending them off to college in my game. Typically I give them both the pleasure aspiration too, so they spend their days just living it up, having fun, doing whatever they feel like doing. They match each other’s whimsy and chaos.

—Back to Buzz and Vidcund: at some point before they’re officially together but when they’re definitely Becoming A Thing, Buzz decides he needs to work on himself and repair his relationship with his kids before anything else can take priority, so they break things off but remain friends (emotional maturity??? From Buzz Grunt??? Inspiring. People really can change.) They’re both really mopey about it but insist they’re fine.

—Around this time, certified trust fund jerk Malcolm Landgraab IV comes on the scene to open up some new locations for his electronics retailer downtown. He and Vidcund meet, hit it off and end up in a sort of situationship. Vid still lives with the Grunts, but spends a lot of time with Malcolm and is around a lot less.

—The boys are Not Happy with this development. They’re like uh hey, where the fuck is he?? They’ve gotten attached to Vidcund and sort of started to see him as another parental figure. They kinda assumed Buzz and Vidcund were already a thing, so they’re shocked that they’ve “broken up” and not even told them, and that Buzz is being so cavalier about it. Also Tank and Buck don’t cope super well with big changes so this isn’t great for them :( now it’s up to poor Ripp to comfort both his brothers and tbh he has no idea what he’s doing. Get my man some of that primo weed, he needs it.

—Still, anytime Buzz or one of the boys call him for literally anything, Vidcund will drop Malcolm like a hot potato. It’s obvious where his priorities lie and where his heart is. Eventually, Malcolm breaks up with Vidcund, stating that he’s caught actual feelings but he knows Vidcund can’t reciprocate because he’s hung up on somebody else.

—This will become a plot point later: Malcolm keeps doing increasingly unhinged things to try and impress Vidcund and prove how great he’s doing after their breakup, which eventually escalates to him running for mayor of Strangetown. His opponent is none other than Circe Beaker and now everyone has to rally behind her because holy crap would that rich dumbfuck run Strangetown right into the ground. This is genuinely not meant to be a commentary of any sort, I just think a mayoral race between Circe “I definitely don’t have a man trapped in my basement to run experiments on” Beaker and Malcolm Landgraab IV would be funny, especially the way I like to characterize him (chaotic dumbass with a huge ego who has WAY too much money and free time and makes it everyone else’s problem.)

—Immediately after ending things with Malcolm, Vidcund tells Buzz what happened and why. After like a year of tension, they finally kiss. Vidcund moves his stuff from his room into Buzz’s and that’s that.

—They bicker a lot, sometimes playfully, sometimes not. It dredges up some memories related to their parents’ divorce for the boys when it happens in front of them. Buzz is trying but he’s still the densest motherfucker on the planet so it takes him a LONG time to realize this. Eventually, he and Vidcund learn to reign it in and the boys get to a place where they trust that it’s not anything serious and Vid’s not going anywhere.

—They’re both pretty ambivalent about marriage. Buzz has already been there done that and he fucked it up pretty bad. Vidcund’s not opposed but he’s never really pictured himself getting married. Eventually, when it comes time for Tank to start thinking about college, Vidcund mentions that as a prof at La Fiesta Tech any dependents of his get free tuition (including stepchildren) and suggests they get married for that reason. Buzz is like, “yeah, I don’t see us ever not being together anyway, sure.”

—I think they’re the type of sims to wear black stainless steel wedding bands. Buzz has an African violet engraved in Vidcund’s.

—As a popularity sim, Buzz would absolutely want a huge wedding and reception, and now that he actually has people who like him and would show up it’s within reach! But he knows how much Vidcund hates crowds and big parties so he keeps it lowkey. (Being considerate and prioritizing others’ needs and wants, even above his own?? Who is he??) They just do it at a courthouse and have a little family get together. Pascal and Lazlo come to at least make an effort to reach out and show their support, and Vidcund is overjoyed to see them, even if he acts aloof about it. Their relationship is still never quite as close as it used to be, but things are better.

—Also they’re autistic4autistic. Neither is aware of this. Buzz because he was raised in A Different Time and his parents were Very Traditional, so they just harshly disciplined him whenever he acted “weird” and he learned to mask very quickly; Vidcund because basically the entire Curious family was neurodivergent and Glarn and Kitty didn’t see the need to seek out a diagnosis, they just sort of accommodated the kids as needed and let ‘em do their thing. Buzz masks so hard and so consistently that he doesn’t even know how not to and refuses to accommodate himself (like if the fabric of a shirt is making him want to crawl out of his skin, he just keeps wearing it because he feels like he “should” be able to tolerate it and also that deeply ingrained toxic masculine ideal that suffering through it without complaining is the “manly” thing to do.) Vidcund cannot fathom masking and when it comes to things that trigger his sensory issues he’s a very “if it sucks hit da bricks” type of sim. He eventually convinces Buzz to just change out of the shirt, stop eating the food with the texture he can’t stand, take the aspirin when he has a headache, use the damn heating pad when his bad back is acting up, and just stop making himself miserable in all these little ways when he literally doesn’t have to.

—Tank is also like that (he learned it from his father and continued practicing it in an effort to be more like him and not disappoint him). He learnt about the joys of “if it sucks hit the bricks” from Ripp, and now that he sees his dad and Vidcund doing it, he feels more okay about not forcing himself to do things that make him really distressed or set off his sensory issues.

—Meanwhile, Ripp learned the joys of not hitting the bricks every time it sucks from Ophelia and Tank; especially with his creative endeavors, he starts sticking them out even when they get challenging, and he enjoys the satisfaction and fulfillment it brings him and creates some music and poetry he’s really proud of.

—The Grunt family looks for a car at some point and Buzz is initially going to get one of those unnecessarily huge trucks that don’t even fit in a lane on the road because of fucking course he’d be one of those guys. Ripp, the resident hippie who’s a bit of an environmentalist, is against this. Buzz actually ends up buying a more reasonable sized sedan, and Ripp is touched that Buzz listened to him, took his input and opinion seriously and even factored it into his decision.

#sorry mutual who didn’t follow me for sims 2 content (aka literally all of you)#I promise it’s not going to take over my blog. I still heart our tiny town in Michigan #strangetown premades #ts2 #strangetown #the sims 2 #buzz grunt #tank grunt #ripp grunt #buck grunt #vidcund curious #vidcund curious/buzz grunt #anyone got a good ship name for them cause I don’t

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askuemki · 7 months ago

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So I have no idea if I’ll keep this post up, but…

A little rant abt re8?? (And cod.. kinda) maybe venting (just a mess :,)

Disclaimer, take my opinions with a grain of salt I just wanna ramble lmao

Also spoilers, maybe (update, definitely)

So I’ve been having fun dipping my toes into Donna Beneviento (god her last name is hard to spell) content. After watching the gameplays and to at least have a basic understanding for the game, I find myself really drawn to her, maybe more than Alcina tbh

By no means i’m a diehard fan or anything, recently it’s been hard to find a new fandom to get attached towards. As much as I adore cod, there isnt really much to get attached too… like sure, task 141 is a fun group and the there is some GREAT art about the ships- but I only got attached because of Valeria, I won’t deny it at all. I’m a diehard lesbian, but there isn’t really much cannon content of her?? It’s really damn disappointing sometimes, man… same with Laswell. I appreciate all of the fanartists out there though, I adore all of the content here, fanfics or fan art. With Farah, she’s a diffrent story.. personally I never really got attached to her, but as a character she’s pretty neat. Her story sort of brings to light the horrors happening today which is a bit of a benefit…?? But ever since I found out things about both Valeria’s and Farah’s actors I’ve been a little off about things here and there. I don’t think I’ll stop posting Valeria content at all, it just might be a little less offen to indulge in different things.

Some personal things have been happening to make me feel really disconnected from like.. fucking everything for some reason?? Like I’m drifting away from fandoms, I’m drifting away from people and I’m like alone again.. I’m lost in a damn dumpster fire. AI art doesn’t help with this at all.. like why do I draw?? I’ve been drawing since I was in kindergarten like I never really thought of the specifics of perusing art, more or so just that I want to. Like hey, I wanna make a game or movie series, and something in me doesn’t realize I need to put in the effort to learn shit with just ends up in me doing nothing but self pitting on something I can change and ugh.. wish I can slap myself to get out of it.

So I think I’ve been kind of finding myself relating to Donna. Not in her extreme way, more or so just her aspect of being isolated, and just being known primarily for one thing. Like.. our side of art? Damn. Shit. I think I’m worth nothing.. and with Donna we don’t really know much about her besides her being a cursed Dollmaker, and the bare bones of her past. And we both barely fucking speak man… both hide our faces too !! maybe I kin this woman or something I don’t know

But as I was looking through her tumblr tag, I saw a rant about how headcannons and stuff has been stripping away the interesting stuff about the re8 villains… and with the things I’ve seen so far?? I can kinda agree, honestly.

Don’t get me wrong, if it’s not too.. insane? (I know those boundaries are hard to define at times, but maybe REALLY immoral shit for our “normal” world) and people aren’t forcing these headcannons into other people? I don’t mind headcannons. You do you, boo!

But the fan content I’ve seen, people reduce Donna and Alcina (I’m surprised it was pronounced as AlCHIna and not AlSIna, but side tangent over) from the potential they really have. Yeah it’s definitely nice to see Donna more, especially in those intimate moments.. but sometimes I feel like people just depict her as some shy, easily gullible, girl, and not really the mentally deprived woman she is. Like I’d love to see ideas of the different dolls Donna could create, or unique imagery of her mental state outside of having porcelain skin. What about the kinds of plants she takes care of? Or the dolls she makes? I’d love to see more of it, whether she has favorites, or if it’s a situation where she has doll replicas of her deceased family. Man, I really wanna see Donna do more creepy shit, basically.

With Alcina however? She’s kind of reduced to that (I’m going to cringe at these words so terribly, god help me) “hot vampire mommy”.. I’ll take fault for not looking into her content as much, I’m sure there’s great content out there !! (I’m not sure if anyone would do this but.. feel free to send me any fic recommendations or art) With what I want to see for her? I’ve heard from the rant post as a man-hating woman she had primarily female statues in her castle, it would be fun to see what else she has cause of this worldview, as well as more whitty remarks from her; I really enjoy her throwback with Heisenberg. Just in general.. her being a comical villain.

Okay so, the reason why I made this post in the first place before all of this shit threw up from my brain. Belladonna. At first, this ship really interested me, I like the character dynamics, the art was neat. But then something came up in my mind.. (as well as another rant post on the ship..) isn’t the Dimitrescu bloodline related with Donna? Both are failed experiments from Mother Miranda, and technically adopted by her. Though from what I know, Donna is the only one officially adopted. So would that be family..? I’ve seen a few places where Alcina called Donna her sister, and it makes me feel really off.

And I’ve seen in a few fanarts, Donna technically older than the Dimitrescu sisters posed next to them like another sibling??

I would like to endorse the ship, but just the morality of everything is off centered for me. I rather not support weird incest…

So please if people could maybe clarify for me whether it would technically be okay for support this ship.. I’d appreciate it. If it isn’t okay, I have plans on making a fan character anyways, or I can take current characters and make a resident evil au or something, and ship them when Donna. (I have a character that honestly looks like a mix of Alcina and Bela, but by no means she’s relates to the franchise, lmao)

By no means I’m experienced in resident evil lore or the fandom, this is just coming from a newer fan of the series, and what I’ve seen so far.

If you read all of this.. thank you?? I apologize if I sound ridiculous here, this is like the only place I can rant abt things without being brushed off for other shit

Good night now!!! I need to stop pushing my sleep boundaries ugh

#valeria cod #re8 #donna beneviento #beladonna #rant post #vent post #cece blabbers #valeria garza #alcina dimitrescu #cod mw2 #genuine question at the end 😭

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plague-karm · 10 days ago

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More opinions about my interests since I liked making the last one.

* At this point in time I like Freshy Kanal more than ERB, the match ups are more up my alley and the beats slap so much harder

* Sisyphus is JUST as interesting as Minos you’re just letting the memes control your judgement (read his terminal entry there’s more to him then just being a spiteful bastard towards heaven)

* If any other indie dev treated Steel Wool like Scott Cawthon did during the making of Security Breach (basically not telling them the games story which lead to it being a narrative clusterfuck) they would get drawn and quartered but because Scott Cawthon did it no one seems to mind???

* I’m beginning to not mind The Mimic but I will never get over how quickly Vanny got pushed aside. She could’ve shown how serial killers have copycat killers (something that Scott himself is scared of which is why no actual Fnaf themed restaurants have been made) long after their time is done (going back to the “I always come back” quote in a really cool way) but no we just get a fucked up little guy. I am looking forward to Secret Of The Mimic but the way Vanny got treated as a nothing threat after YEARS of build up is easily one of the most infuriating parts of Fnaf’s story

* I’m happy that the Five Laps At Freddy’s demo got patched but it NEVER should’ve been released in the state it was in and the people who were complaining towards those with concerns need to know that there is a difference between a demo with some glitches here and there and something that’s borderline unplayable. I am convinced that the demo only got released because the anniversary came up.

* Maybe Garten Of Banban would go away if people stop paying attention to it and constantly buying the new ones so they can bitch about how bad it is on their let’s play channels idk

* BATIM has my favourite setting out of any mascot horror game, it’s so immersive and the fact that it slowly changed into a sprawling ecosystem is so interesting to me

* Needy Streamer Overload has one of the best portrayals of mental illness I’ve ever seen in media but the actual gameplay gets really old after a while

* Surge > Scourge, I love them both for different reasons but Surge’s story is one of the darkest in Sonic canon and a lot more compelling to me, I’m interested to see what they do with her later in the comics

* Multishipping will free your mind please try it more I beg you

* Madohomu is NOT one sided, Homura’s feelings towards Madoka are that intense that anything Madoka feels towards her would feel small by comparison

* Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die is nowhere near the worst P!ATD album, it’s one of my favourites and it’s a really good listen for night time drives

* I hated the way some people got pissed at The Cuphead Show for not being lore and angst heavy. I really liked it! And they made certain characters way more entertaining than they were in the actual game! The Devil went from being a somewhat boring villain in the game to being my favourite character in the whole show. And the fact they made Brineybeard a monsterfucker is funnie he just like me fr

* The issue with Hazbin Hotel’s use of red isn’t the red itself, it’s the fact that the SAME shade is used CONSTANTLY. If they used different shades more frequently instead of just cherry red it wouldn’t be that much of an issue (like burgundy, burgundy is cool)

* The NiGHTS series might be one of the most wasted IP’s of all time, AMAZING character designs (NiGHTS’ design is genuinely perfect I would change nothing about it) and the atmosphere and tone was genuinely magical. Shigeru Miyamoto (the creator of MARIO) has gone on record saying that he wished he came up with the idea of NiGHTS, which is incredibly high praise…and we haven’t gotten a new one in YEARS! Where is it?!

* TADC is not an industry plant or content farm slop, because unlike that kind of shit you can actually tell that there’s passion and love behind the project. No one expected it to get as popular as it did it just happened.

* Telling someone who’s stimming (regardless of the amount of noise it makes) to stop in a condescending way is a really shitty thing to do, like come on man let my leg do its thing :(

* You do not have to defend everything you like until your last breath it’s okay to admit that it kinda sucks (Repo! The Genetic Opera is a clusterfuck narrative wise and some of the songs are shit but I still love it lmao)

* G3 Ivy’s design > G1 Ivy’s design

* Fuck The Critical Drinker, all my homies hate The Critical Drinker (his take on Midsommar’s ending is genuinely one of the most braindead analysis’ I’ve ever seen and I have no idea how anyone continued taking him seriously after that because what the fuck 💀)

* If you see news of a music artist you like go through a personal tragedy and your first thought is “the new album’s gonna be fire” then you need to get your head checked because what the fuck is wrong with you genuinely

* Mel Medarda is objectively the finest character in Arcane fight me idgaf

* Cairngorm is one of the most interesting characters in Land Of The Lustrous, you can acknowledge that they changed for the worst (fuck Aechmea) while also acknowledging that Phos solely viewing them as a second Antarcticite due to them not handling their grief well was fucked up

* The holy quintet transformation sequence in Rebellion is an actual work of art and a masterclass in symbolism i could write an entire thesis on it (and the music too omg)

* I don’t ship SCU Sonadow at all I’m sorry I just don’t see it (Prime Sonadow though? Peak shit)

* Homura and Kyoko have one of the most interesting dynamics in the entire show but no one talks about them for some reason?

* Helluva Boss’ second season will be remembered like Euphoria’s second season, amazing visuals and acting but the story took a fucking nosedive and there are several characters acting out of character solely so the plot can move forward (the fact they actually started giving Millie interesting characterisation only to get her pregnant two episodes later is insane and people are already accusing her of cheating fucking hell the misogyny in that fandom is rampant 😭)

* Leviathan has the worst boss theme in Ultrakill and it’s not even close

* Cyn is the best part of Murder Drones, she has the best design in the entire show and she’s the perfect mix of cute and disturbing

* TADC actually being character focused instead of lore focused is such a breath of fresh air, so many series’ focus on their lore to the point where the traits of the characters are mostly forged from fanon so to actually have a series focus on the actual characters and their issues is just great

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cow-rants · 8 months ago

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Fair warning: this post is in regards to the recent Assassin’s Creed: Shadows trailer. I will talk about my thoughts and feelings regarding race. Thank you.

I’ve been a massive fan of Assassin’s creed (AC) since I first saw my uncle playing it at 7 or 8 years old. I’m a massive history buff and the idea of being able to experience the past through the eyes of an ancestor is such a brilliant idea. Not mention the concept of a secret war being fought through out the centuries is always fun. But as of late, I haven’t been really excited for a new entry. Odyssey was the last game I really played and it was alright, but I’m personally not a huge fan of the new RPG mechanics (although I do understand why they were implemented).

Valhalla looked interesting, but didn’t really feel like an AC game to me. So I put it on my “to play later” list. Mirage looked far better and I definitely do want to play it, but I honestly just haven’t felt a super big pull to pick it up. But when I saw that AC was finally going to Japan, I was ecstatic. I adore Japanese history in general and the Sengoku period is full of interesting conflicts and characters that would fit perfectly with the assassin’s and the templars.

Although they went with some pretty standard people to showcase, such as Oda Nobunaga, I still think they have a chance to do something really interesting story wise (of course, reserve all real judgement for the gameplay reveal. But I’m mainly just talking about the story). Especially with the portrayal of Yasuke. From what I could tell, it seems like his story will be one of disillusionment, possibly betrayal, and redemption. Certainly a story we’ve seen before, but it’s still interesting to see Yasuke in something as big as AC.

Before I get into the more unfortunate discourse regarding Yasuke, I absolutely have to talk about Naoe. See, what caught my eye about her was how she and my OWN AC OC have very similar stories. Well, I don’t know for sure. But they certainly share a similar experience, which is watching their families be butchered by Oda Nobunaga’s armies. It’s not much, but by the gods does it make me pretty happy. My OC’s name is Minori Kishimoto and she’s one of my favorites, so seeing a canon character with some similar traits is kind of exciting for me (okay, very exciting).

Anyhow, back to Yasuke. As soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I was going to see people saying something stupid. So I checked both the comments on the video and twitter. And I was certainly not mistaken. So so so many bad takes and ridiculous arguments that, honestly, only go to show either mild racism or straight up hatred toward African people. Not to mention the fact that they completely ignore Naoe as a protagonist. I guess she must be the greatest assassin of all time.

From what I understand, a lot of people are upset that for a Japan centered AC game, there is a black protagonist. Which, again, ignores Naoe entirely. The biggest argument I have heared against Yasuke being one of the protagonists is that he wasn’t actually a samurai. To which I say: False. Incorrect. Mistaken. Wrong. Factually incorrect.

The primary issue here is the fact that many people refer to him as a retainer. A title that he never officially held, as far as I’m aware, but even so that still makes him Samurai! Looking just at the facts of his life, he was respected by arguably the most powerful Daimyo of that time, earned his trust, received a pension, received a sword, and received property. So then the question becomes: what exactly makes a person a samurai at this time? Because I can tell you one thing, it isn’t noble blood.

A peasant man was once hired by Nobunaga to do a multitude of tasks, one of which was to hold his sandals. This man would soon prove himself to be capable of all of his tasks as well as in the art of war. He would become a powerful man and rise through the ranks until he held the rank of Taiko at the end of his life . That man was Toyotomi Hideyoshi.

If Hideyoshi’s story proves one thing, it’s that at this time anyone could rise to become a daimyo. So then, why wouldn’t Yasuke also be considered a samurai? We’re not even trying to claim he was a daimyo, just that he was a samurai. Retainer, bodyguard, slave, whatever. The fact is that the man was 10000% a samurai and was a respected one at that. To claim otherwise is to prove yourself ignorant in the history you claim to be proficient in, and incompetent at backing up your argument.

Not to mention that from a writing point of view, it’s a brilliant move. Yasuke was not super well recorded and thus is relatively unknown to others. Which makes him perfect for being a:

1. Fish out of water character

2. Real person, that can be treated written like a fictional one

All of this to say, I think that this newest Assassin’s Creed has a chance to become one of my personal favorites. As well as putting the series back on the map for many. But, with no gameplay and an already worrying pre-order package, I’m worried to say the least. Only time will tell, but I look forward to it.

#assassin's creed #assassin’s creed shadows #video games #ac yasuke #AC Naoe #rant post

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 2 months ago

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Review of Dragon Age the Veilguard

First off, right off the bat, I’m putting out there I am foremost a story person. Give me a good story and I’m happy. Then it’s graphics, gameplay (by which I mean do I think it is very replayable), then combat.

So positives first for me:

Story: I love the story. It’s a little cliche and a bit silly but it’s so much fun. Besides it’s not like Dragon Age has ever not been a bit cliche. Secret bastard son of the king saving his homeland. Frosty witch with a secret sensitive side. Assassin who wants out. These were in the FIRST game. I very much enjoyed it and the lore we were given. I actually went ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ out loud multiple times and had a blast through the whole thing. I actually dropped my controller in shock during the final battles because of several moments.

I’ve seen complaints about the writing being ‘MCU’ but honestly I just recently replayed the first three, and this is the same to me. It’s actually better to me then Inquisition which I found so boring. No really, Inquisition was the weakest to me character and writing wise. It felt so flat but Veilguard brings back the spark that Origins and DA2 had. This sort of ‘we need to get people together and save the world despite the odds’ spark.

Characters: I love every single one of them and am already starting more playthroughs so I can ROMANCE THEM ALL. Some may not be your cup of tea but honestly a lot of the hate I notice tends to be the weird feminist ‘you have to be serious’ tone, the ‘I don’t like anything cheery’ type, transphobes or racists. The actual critical takes I find tend to veer on the usual bullshit of the writers in general. (Such as Taash apparently having to choose between two cultures and how their gender is handled. Which fair. I love their gender storyline but it isn’t the greatest story)

The characters are very dynamic and fun to get to know. I didn’t care about Harding in Inquisition but I love her here. It’s just so much fun.

Character Creator: This is honestly the best one I’ve seen yet. I know everyone loved BG3 and how they do it but Veilguard BLOWS it out of the water. Just so many options and things to do.

Plus as a side note you can choose to be nonbinary or trans and it has an affect. It is so cool. I loved my Rook talking about their gender.

Combat: Oh man this is weird for me but I love this combat. Let’s be real- tactical stuff in the past games were clunky and off. A lot of Origin purists say DAO was the best but who ACTUALLY used half the stuff? Like traps? Maybe a fair few but the majority didn’t. The whole series so far had been button mashing for me. Here? Nope! It’s a lot more complex for me and makes me actually think. I love it.

Puzzles: One person I saw said they were to simple. My response is that the early ones were but they sure ain’t later on. Took me forty minutes to figure out one. It’s awesome.

Gameplay: FUN! Just everything about it is so nice and I love it. It’s not annoying to do, it’s simple once you get used to it and honestly I like how the missions are set up. I do think it is very replayable as a whole.

The Ending: I FUCKING LOVE THE ENDING IT IS SO DAMN COOL. I dropped my controller during it, I gasped, I cheered (totally guessed one plot twist but DAMN did not expect the very end) and HOLY SHIT it was SO GOOD.

Now the negatives.

Story: There’s a lot of sanitization of the Crows. The Crows are canonly assassins who buy a lot of their recruits and brutally train them to become Crows. It is not nice unless maybe your family are Crows and you’re treated nicely. Even then, Lucanis canonly was beaten by his grandmother during training and other things.

Also, I did not like how my Rook Laidir suddenly talked about being a galley slave. It was confusing as that was never brought up before. If they’d included it in the description it would have been better. So I’m headcanoning something different for Andy Laidir. I think this is just an over sight, but it is off putting for me that it’s suddenly said once then vanishes.

There's also a few things with how story progression goes. It feels a bit to fast in some moments, and to slow in others. I think that they had to many ideas, but I'll talk about that in the factions section.

Characters: While I love their story line I think Taash could have done better if there was less ‘choose between being Rivaini or Qunari’. Like having a disconnect from your culture is understandable but I felt it was to… ‘you must conform or reject’. That’s not how it goes.

As well the discussion of gender was fairly Western specific which isn’t true across all cultures. It would have been interesting to explore it more and with Taash also wondering about the Qunari version of gender as why they don’t feel right.

I’m also semi kinda upset with how Davrin kept getting the same ‘intro’ scene to his quests a bit. Just him carving something. It was recycled to me and compared to the others… kinda felt off.

Also, while I love him, Lucanis' romance isn't my favourite. It's very slow burn and while nice, I felt that it was to much of a slow burn in the end, where it's just them kissing and a few words of love. I haven't been spoiled about the others too much, but he feels very lacklustre. But it might just be me there. I will defend it saying it isn't bad, but for me? Not my cup of tea.

I'm also disapointed with Isabela's cameo. While YES WE SEE HER, I do romance her with Hawke often and I can't believe any of my Hawkes who did (and lived) are't with her causing chaos. Plus for fuck sakes she gets some generic outfit but Morrigan gets a super special one? Really?

Combat: While I love it, I think they made the dragons to OP. It’s really hard to get close and fight them. Of course I am not a combat person so it may just be I’m bad at it. I do think some of the 'being shoved backward' moments could have been done better as well.

Gameplay: Okay so… I think the choice to have Varric narrate things wasn’t ‘bad’ but they really went to spoiler filled in some. Like dude, don’t SAY that?!? I don’t get to eagerly wait in suspense now, I know what’s going on. That’s not fun. Boo!

Also the animations for opening chests was annoying.

Factions: I feel this is another kinda let down. I truly believe the only four that mattered were Veil Jumpers, Shadow Dragons, Crows and Grey Wardens. Plus I felt again a lot of this is sanitized. The Crows are not a good organization. Sure they basically are the Antivan military but they’re assassins who buy their recruits half the time. Lords of Fortune are pirates and treasure hunters. They're not 'good' people.

This really ties into my thoughts on progression: we could have done away with the Lords and the Mourn Watch to focus only on the four factions and it would have been amazing. Probably would have had better pacing for the plot to. While it was so cool to see these places, in the end it would haven't taken away from the main plot by just not having them be around.

However- despite my negatives, and despite my issues?

This game is a solid 8.7/10. It was truly 9.5/10 for most of the game, but by the end, I did find that I was a bit dissatisfied with some things. However, the game is genuinely amazing. It's a call back to the original 'rag-tag bunch of losers go and save the day' and has elements of Mass Effect 2 I adore.

Solid game, if you loved Origins, DA2 and even some elements of Inquisition, go for it. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it sure as hell is mine.

#dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #datv spoilers

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strawberryraviegutz · 6 months ago

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I feel like this needs to be said but..Am I the only one getting annoyed with the “Ame Chan is a bad person/problematic” discourse?? I’m not just talking about the ppl who’ve been complaining about her character saying they “didn’t realize how awful she was”. I’m also talking about ppl being like “lmao yall clearly didn’t play the game of course she’s a horrible person you’re just now realizing that??”

You don’t necessarily have to play a game to be a fan of it. It’s pretty common for ppl to watch gameplay videos or videos covering the story of/analyzing games and characters if they can’t or don’t wanna play it. Second I dont think we should just look at Ame through a black and white lense. Ame’s not a horrible person but she’s not necessarily good either. She’s a very VERY flawed person who struggles with mental health issues and addiction and makes rlly bad decisions and says rlly mean/bad things.

But that’s like…literally everyone on earth. Everyone has flaws especially mentally ill ppl, nobody’s perfect. It’s implied that Ame was literally abandoned/disowned by her parents so of course she’s not going to make the best decision with a “stable” mind especially if you’re desperate.

Ame Chan does terrible things/decisions like taking drugs on stream and self harming on stream and I think she even killed herself on stream too in one ending(tho feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) which is obviously irresponsible and dangerous. And she says things that aren’t necessarily nice or the best(some of it is warranted since some of the ppl in her chat were saying rlly awful, gross and even misogynistic things and calling her “old”).

And while she only wanted to be kangel for attention online, it’s kinda possible that she’s been able to have positive impacts on her fans/audience. We’ve seen how she is with the younger side of her fanbase as Kangel. She’s very kind and compassionate and overall very sweet towards them. Kangel’s entire persona is revolved around reaching out to lonley ppl online who’re struggling and to make them happy.

She may be doing it only for money snd attention, but like most ppl who struggle with mental health issues, they sometimes don’t realize the positive impacts they’ve had on the ppl around them. Hell maybe deep down Ame made Kangel to also help reach out to ppl like her online and make them happy too.

And as for the whole shotacon accusations, Ame Chan is NOT a shotacon. It was a very bad translation error and we all know that most translators aren’t always reliable(especially Google Translate) so please stop spreading that around. It’s been debunked already.

Maybe I’m biased because while I don’t have BPD(at least I don’t think so), have never taken drugs, nor have I ever cut myself in like a very VERY long time(tho I never left any scars cuz i didn’t like pain)and have an anxiety disorder and am autistic, I still sorta relate to/kin Ame Chan.

I’ve had my moments where I’ve had emotional and or violent outbursts(not where I’ve beat someone up or broke anything)due to a rush of emotion and or getting real worked up/frustrated online and irl.

And it’s always rubbed me the wrong way when I’ve been seeing ppl trying to put Ame into the box of “bad/problematic person” whether you’re trying to defend her character or not. It’s a lot more complex and morally grey than that and I think characters like her being in media are important to lessen the stigma of mental health whether it be in Japan or worldwide.

Feel free to correct me and fill me in on stuff if I missed anything or left anything out but in conclusion, Ame Chan is a not a good person, but she’s not necessarily a monster and or all bad either and I think ppl on both sides should realize that.

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captain1unikitty · 21 days ago

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My review on Sky Season of Moomin!!

Disclaimer: if you haven’t got to it yet, there’s a few days left like 11 to 10 days when I posted this. If you missed it, don’t worry, I’ll be uploading my game review soon on my YouTube with clips of the game. And probably others have gameplay too.

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Now :3

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I have to say I wanted to cry, but I’ve never seen anything like this, especially as a newer player of Sky: Children of the Light, it’s amazing. I have watched one of the Moomin series and have a few books of Moomin (thanks to a boom in 2020) when I heard Sky and Moomin collaborated, I HAD TO PLAY IT.

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I’m still new to Sky so I had no idea what the plot was about and MY!! I had no idea it was also a horror game (jk but it surprised me when I got attacked by some robot creature) Back to Season of Moomin, I like how they did Ninny’s story. Even though I’m use to the version in the series from the 90s, it was well made. Also the side story, so deep and interesting with creatures and the house polling this child to be cut from the outside world.

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Of course the ending was cute, only in the 90 versions, Ninny yells when she reveals her face. I think this version works, just her going up and biting Moominpapa’s tail making him lose his hat XD. The version from 2019 i’ll say it felt weak but I didn’t really watch that version of Moomin since it airs in the UK and US doesn’t really get it. (I say it’s for the best since over here, the US would probably ruin a lot of its charm)

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The 2 stories with the season of Moomin are deep and hits different emotionally. I’ll probably play Sky more after this even though Moomins will have to say goodbye soon. Moomin and Sky are both amazing and can’t wait to see what else Sky collaborates with ✨

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I don’t have any Sky characters yet but my little character is a bit basic, but I wouldn’t mind if I played it with others, I’m open to meet others to play the game.

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#sky #sky children of light #sky cotl #sky game #sky children of the light #children #light #moomin #moomins #sky moomin #review #game review #ninny moomin #the invisible child #tove jansson #video games #game

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alexissara · 21 days ago

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The End of 2024 Upcoming Sapphic Games Guide

As we close the year it’s time to look ahead at what sapphic games might be coming up in the future. I won’t be repeating any games on any previous lists for saving space, maybe I’ll do an update list too to talk about games still not out but that have new info or something but for now do refer to the older lists for lots more upcoming sapphic games I am looking far ahead so none of these lists have 100% of their games out. These games will range from 2025 to gets canceled and never released but be sure to keep your eyes on these projects. I do a ton of research watching tons of indie showcases, following lots of accounts, doing lots of searching, asking devs questions, listening to podcasts, watching trailers, playing demos, and more. I put things that just have a vibe that I Think might pay off in a possible section and I tend to have a pretty good hit rate although sometimes I am coping.

Before we get into the list proper a games place on the list is not a judgment on the game or the games quality of writing for the queerness, I literally at most have played a demo of any of these games because their upcoming games. If a game is in Make Your Own Gay then it simply means that the Sapphic Content is optional in the game or at least appears to be. A game might have more to it then narrative gameplay but I’ve not seen it so it’s in narrative games. A game being in the possible list might be the most gay game here and just not advertised their sapphicness at all, at least not that I’ve seen. I I am simply working with what I got as I try and find the most sapphic goodness for everyone to enjoy. A game being on this list is also not an endorsement by me personally, IDK anything about these devs or anything like that, I am researching if girls might do a little kiss or not. If you do want to see what I properly think of these games when they release following me here on Tumblr or over on Blue Sky https://bsky.app/profile/alexissara.bsky.social is the best way to see my impressions when I, if i buy these games [or am sent review copies or whatever]. Also if you want to support me making lists like these, going through all the demos and trailers and everything to find y’all the good girl kissing stuff patreon.com/alexissara or https://ko-fi.com/alexiss are great ways to help me afford to spend the many hours I do on getting this stuff up for y’all.

Adventure Lesbians

The Songbird Guild

A mix of visual novel and JRPG The Songbird Guild is explicitly a yuri game focused on our two sapphic magical girl leads in a world where magical girls need to make cash money. Our protagonist is trying to get employed but struggling to find work. She runs into another girl on a promising lead for a job and the two get intertwined.

Dungeon Gals

A sapphic triad platformer adventure Dungeon Gals where you solve puzzles together and use your abilities to keep moving forward. The girlfriends chat with each other as they go through adventures and it's extremely cute. We got a diverse range of sapphic identity in the trio and I look forward to seeing what the rest of the cast looks like too. The game pulls some inspo from sonic given it was displayed at SAGE this year which is great for any sapphic sonic fans.

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Quantum Witch

A little platformer about Ren a little lesbian in a little lesbian commune of witches with her little lesbain wife in her little lesbian life. The game calls itself a PLOTformer given it’s extremely narrative focused for a platformer, the same starts simple with a lost flock but then you end up in Multiversal shenanigans, what to find and get back to your wife and have to make important choices that will effect your friends and loved ones lives.

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They Speak From The Abyss Zenith

They speak from the abyss has you playing in a horror dungeon crawler as a sapphic woman who just moved somewhere new with her partner and shit gets horribly fucked for her. It's spooky, scary, and it might just fill an itch for fans of Signals who are looking for their next dose of sapphic horror gaming. [I believe They Speak from the Abyss core game will also be Sapphic]

Narrative

The Mysterious Thief Forget Me Not

A yuri visual novel with two different women you can romance, you play as a phantom thief making a name for herself and slowly falling for two different women. How the story will take shape, I’m not sure but it’s an explicitly lesbian visual novel with a fun art style and a fun concept. This is one to keep your eyes on for sure.

DELIRIA

You play as one of 4 characters each representing a different letter, L, G, B. or T heading to a special bar called DELIRIA. This game bills itself as a musical Visual Novel so get ready for some fun tracks and a lot of queerness. Obviously L and B both are likely to give us some kind of sapphic content and I have no idea if T will or not but it’ll be an interesting time for anyone who’s looking to hop into a bar and maybe discover their true self.

Distant Oceanic Getaway

This is a sapphic dating sim where you play as a girl going on an Ocean Getaway cruise and have beautiful women to date. Be a little lesbian and court one of 6 women. You have some mild character customization in the game allowing you to chose pronouns and a feminine voice or gender neutral voice intending to represent all forms of sapphics which is really nice for a lesbian centered VN.

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Red Rebellion

A sapphic classical crossover Red Riding Hood X Robinhood takes us into a world full of lesbian couples and rebellion. This is a mostly linear game with some outfits to wear and 2 endings. Seems like a fun dramatic romantic yuri visual novel.

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Let's Seduce the Heroine!

An Isekai similar to the likes of many we’ve been seeing with a focus on the villainess. This time being Isekaied into the Villainess and our protagonist feeling she must seduce the games Heroine if she is to survive. Our protagonist does seem to be sapphic to begin with being said to have been trying to reach the games hidden yuri route before she was Isekaied. This game has a cool focus on your seduction style where you can take forceful, passive, or a mixture of both approaches and that shaping the ending of the game so it goes beyond just making the right choices for a romance.

The Vampire Bride: The Novel Game

During the Meiji era girls in military uniforms [the page insists this is important] who are paired by vampire and human work together for some conflict that they use weapons that are sometimes not from the Meji era. This is a yuri visual novel 100% and it seems like there will be multiple pairings of vampires X humans to follow over the course of the story.

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Christine's Care

Recently kickstartered game and a rare inclusion of Sapphic Polyamory as one of the possible routes in the game. Christine’s care has you take on the role of Christine who had a recent break up with her boyfriend and has taken a new job in a new city as a nurse. She gets assigned to take care of a hot girl who is paralyzed from the waste down and a potential romance can form. However, she also meets a kinky D/S couple during her time in the new city and starts to get drawn into it with a complex set of feelings coming in as one of the two lovers starts to really like Christine. It seems like a messy sapphic romance story with a few options of how things can go.

Make Your Own Gay

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Shovel Knight: Shovel of Hope DX

This is like a ultimate addition of Shovel Knight so more or less this experience is already open for you. However, this game does have the potential to add the “Body Swap” mode to the other campaigns and if it does it will be able to make a bit more sapphic stuff given you could also make the Plague Knight Campaign gay and not just the main one.

A Good Night's Rest

A tactical RPG with music from iconic sapphic trans legend Left At London. This games all about mental health exploring that theme through a different lens then the mental health platformers we’ve seen or horror games. This game lets you build relationships with new friends and presumably have them come into your nightmares to help you overcome them and get better sleep.

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Date Everything

Look at something and it turns into a person, a person you can date from you UI to your toilet everything can become a datable person. The game is aiming to be silly and funny but hopefully they'll be a lot of fun romance to be had in earnest as well, it seems like a real sweet time.

My Time at Evershine

The next game in the my time series so we already know the formula, pick a gender, do a farm, kiss people regardless of gender but the marketing basically is only going to show MF couples, you know the classic farming sim experience. The game is attempting to do a lot of little modernization and updates to the graphics to push their style further.

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Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma

This is a really beautiful looking japanese culture inspired farming sim and the newest entry in the Rune Factory series. This is a pick one of two characters game, the other character ending up another romanceable character [and being a guy for our purposes since we’re concerned with sapphic content so will be playing the girl] and then romance anyone regardless of gender. In this game we’ll be able to date goddesses for our sapphic goodness and take them on adventures with us.

Artisan Story

A monster ranching focused farm sim, it appears to fill in the classic formula of pick a gender and then date anyone of any gender. You can go out and tame monsters in the wild then raise them up using all the yummy food and stuff you make on the farm. it seems like it does a lot of fun little things with the farming sim and that it'll end up being a stand out farming game.

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Tales of Seikyu

Like Guardians of Azuma this is a japanese culture inspired farming sim but unlike runefactory this game isn’t bound to series conventions and is doing it’s own things in the farming genre.

Thieves Of Dingirra

A fantasy RPG where you pick your gender and have 6 companions who are all presumably also romance options giving 3 of both of the bundled gender male/female combo you’ve heard so much about. You can get your little adventure on as a master thief trying to step up a thieves guilt in Dingirra while getting up to romantic hijinks one assumes.

Dungeons & Furry

Dungeons and Furry’s isn’t the same that normally catches my eyes but i saw this game has a full lesbain mode you can toggle on and only have to experience lesbian content in this furry game. This goes so far as to change the gender of some characters like the above example werewolf has a male version or the genital's of characters like a dragon having a choice of either set up for a fun time. It has match 3 gameplay and you have a sexy good time.

Truer than You

You play as a girl who is an actor faking relationships with people to help them. This game boasts a more dynamic conversation system and has 3 different relationships that can go somewhere it seems. They say the same has a queer friendly cast that of characters and relationship types so I will take that as confirmation of at least one F/F ending.

Scholomatch

A match 3 dating sim game in a polyamarous normative school and one of the games I am most excited about for next year. Your one of the few human students at a magic college where the students all teach each other spells. You learn from other students new spells which impact your match 3 gameplay and get to build relationships with them romantic or platonic. It’s a simple little cozy nice time but it’s not sexless unlike a lot of other cozy games with there actually being some sexual desire and stuff if you opt into it. It’s not like full on smut or anything but the sexual part of many relationships is on display here as one might expect in a college full of students with no supervision.

Progress Orders

Another farming sim but this time focused on Dungeon Crawling JRPG elements to stand out from the crowd. You can choose between being a guy or a girl and date anyone regardless of gender for the full player sexual experience. The girls designs are ummm you know ummm well everyone has their own personal taste but I am sure the fine folks as Bushiroad noted gambling company will kill it with this game.

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Sugardew Island

Another farming sim but this games gimmick is that you run a farm shop and a focus on being totally stress free with no in game time. This cutest game seems to be a game that just ignores your gender probably they/theming you and has more fantastical dating partners.

Wylde Society So this is not confirmed but when it’s basically a lock there is no reason to have it in decent potential. Wyld Society is a Prequel game to Wylde Flowers and like this game you take the role of a woman and it’s a life sim game where I think like it’s previous game is safe to assume there will be romance in. Unlike other life/farm sims though the Wylde series has a preset character you play as in this game we get the lovely addition of a black woman as protagonist which is rare in gaming in general and in the sapphic game space that I am following here. This game is a period piece but it’s set in a place for outcasts and there is some monster people so I expect the queerness will still be here. It seems like it may drop it's farm trappings in favor of boarding school management as the core feature but we currently know very little. I would say this is a series that I would hardly even put in the make your own gay because the queerness in the last game is more explicit given your locked in protagonist means they can write a bisexual woman as our lead and have the women you can romance. I could be wrong, she could not have any romance at all, we could get ace/aro rep, she could be a lesbian and it should be in Adventure Lesbians, I’m not totally sure but I wanted to cover this now cuz it feels very likely that this is where it goes beyond the normal decent potential contenders.

CraftCraft: Fantasy Merchant Simulator

A fully voice acted game where you play a crafts person. It has a pretty fun character creator and boasts romance as once of the core parts of it's cozy experience. This game feels like a really great cozy time building stuff with a cute pet and a nice little community vibe where our choices should matter to the world.

Wish Upon A Lama

This game invokes our modern indie farming sim but this game is only about the animal breeding and raising elements rather then the full farm experience. It’s utterly loaded with characters you can adopt the animals you raise out to and some of which you can give a lil kiss to maybe get married. There is 20 characters to romance but not all are revealed for me to do a gender break down. I can say that the game is far more involved with the players family then these normally are. Multiple of your family lives in town and your parents do write for you so if these cozy games are an escape from family for you, you may not like this experience.

Magical Warrior Diamond Heart

A magical girl visual novel, I’ve been following this game for a long time on Itch.io but it’s coming to steam in a full released version and lets you take the role of a magical girl and gives you a few romance options which include a sapphic option. They are always talking about DLC routes too which would add 3 more sapphic routes to the game. I believe the core game is intended to be F2P and the DLC is how the creator intends to monetize it so not really bonus paywalling more sapphic content as much as charging for the game finally for that. We'll see how it plays out on release but that's my current understanding. It seems like a cute magical girl story and it has some nice dress designs.

Paralives

A sims like game where you make characters, put them in the world and can have them form relationships. I don’t know if you’ll be able to explicitly set sexualities and trans status and stuff like you can in Sims 4 which is F2P so probably should be the standard for this kind of games queer features there is romance elements and they don’t appear to be gender gated so if you're looking for something like the sims but probably without 1000 paid expansions then this might be the item to make your own little gay dollhouses.

Velvet Bite: Softly, with Teeth A vampire dating sim, 6 romance options 3 men and 3 women where you play as human girl who was thrown into a Halloween party full of vampires. Who will chomp on you and will you fall in love too?

Decent Potential

To get this to yall just a little bit faster I decided unlike other decent potential sectionsnwhat I am going To do is extremely brief no images just quick as short as I can explain lines on these and if they show queer content later they can be featured on a future list in the actual sections.

The Last Rose: You play as a girl, it’s marked as LGBT, They say there is one romantic ending so one assumes it’s sapphic but you never know.

Sibel's Journey: Sibel's Journey is a game focused on the queer community, you play as Sibel who is exploring gender identity and sexuality and stuff. The game uses she/her to describe Sibel so I assume it’s got some sapphic stuff.

Nivalis: This is like a 99% chance of being gay being a life sim with romance but we don’t know if you can do character creation or be gay but it’s literally cyberpunk life sim no shot you can’t be. Alabaster Dawn: Woman protag RPG and it just has a vibe but I’d say this is less likely.

WanderStop: It’s got like cozy game vibes and you play as a woman, I feel like there is a shot. Reign Breaker: Buff woman, short hair, punky, seems gay to me. Project Type N: It’s like all girls but it’s megaman, that’s gotta be gay right?

MIGHTREYA: Honestly just a vibe

Kernel Hearts: There is romance in the game and most the characters are women but nothing indicates women will be able to romance each other so far we've seen MF.

All WIll Rise: This game is super early in development but is by the studio that made thirsty suitors And I think the main characters a woman so I think it's possible.

Stratagem Lost: This is a Fire Emblem Like game with some systems in common it seems like you'll be able to pair up characters in some ways.

DeathTower: Cyberpunk big cast SRPG to me screams there will be some kind of sapphic rep but there is just nothing to confirm.

Exodus: It's inspired by mass effects with companions I kinda doubt it won't It feels pretty safe.

Slight Of Hand: Woman noir detective screams lesbian to me.

Demon Tides: It's a vibe, girl protag and a vibe.

Incolatus: Don't Stop, Girlypop!: it's listed as LGBT and there is fairies and stuff and men aren't girlypop so ya know.

Split Fiction: So it's about two girls forming a relationship together through each others creatives vision it be a lock but the main girls are named after the directors daughters sooo.

Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet: The main woman is a butch space lady and it's from the last of us people sadly it's from the last of us people.

Mansion of Memories: A furry game with a murder mystery vibe, I think you can play as a woman

Cyber Paradise: This game has you playing as a woman and I think it was in some LGBT games event. IDK I think it’s there.

For these final games they all are here for the very same reason and that's becuase they were in seasons of pride midboss steam event which is explicitly for queer games. They feature a woman protag so while it might be a bi MF game, a trans game, a ace game, am aro game or something there is a chance any or all of these games for the lesbians in the.

Mushroom Musume

The Merry Fairy

Clawed CultRune Fencer Illyia!

Angeline Era

Cyber Paradise

A Lesbian Exists

Sentinels Of The Multiverse 2

Sentinels Of the Multiverse is a card game with a fictional history created by two cis het white men who want to be progressive but are also nerdy white dudes who work at a tabletop company who clearly don’t have the best politics. There is some gay heroes in this games lore but you likely won’t be getting much gay content in this game. Maybe the campaign mode will provide more gay story telling but nothing has been confirmed so for now like the original version of the game I will say A Lesbian Exists and some other gays too.

Spill the Beans

This game I don’t know how much you can direct relationships or not in them but two of the women are ex girlfriends with one another. You are trying to steal the crabby patty secret formula as plankton…no I’m being corrected your trying to steal a coffee secret recipe as a person of whatever gender you want to be infiltrating the coffee shop as a new worker. You try to manipulate people to pin the crime on someone else after stealing it and get away with the formula. I think the exes can end up back together and I don’t know if there “lesbians” or some other flavor of sapphic but I’d say it doesn’t seem to be the point of the game and it’s unavoidable so it’s not really a make your own gay it’s just there are some gay NPCs.

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namjoon-koya · 2 years ago

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Chapter One: A new hope.

Summary: You grew up on Mandalore with your adoptive parent, you accepted the creed and lived the way as a Mandalorian as your buir taught you. Until the Great Purged happened that night you witnessed your entire home being destroyed, your buir laid down their life to save yours. You managed to get away from Mandalore and you wandered alone for a few years until you met Cere and Greez, Cere told you her plan about rebuilding the jedi order and taking down the empire. You wanted to avenge your family, your home so you agreed to help them. The last thing you expected was to fall for a jedi and follow him wherever he went.

Pairing: Cal Kestis X Mandalorian fem!reader. (I won’t be using Y/N as I will be mostly using you or she/her pronouns.)

Word count: 4.7k

Author notes: I’ve played through Jedi: The Fallen Order and wanted to write a series for it, hope you guys enjoy it! This series will follow the gameplay (with a few different dialogues so the whole reader fits in)

Warnings: violence, language, mentions of injuries.

You took the rag that was on the table and began to clean your blaster, you looked over at Greez who was currently cooking dinner for you and Cere. Greez would always cook whenever a big job was coming up, you assumed it was to calm his nerves about going headfirst into a fight with the empire. You couldn’t blame him though the empire has destroyed everything they deemed a threat to their empire, you still remember those di’kut coming to Mandalore and murdering anyone in their sight.

“Buir! We must go!” you shout as you go to grab their arm, even while you were never allowed to remove your helmet. Your Buir knew you were afraid; they couldn’t blame you though you were still only a foundling. “You have to be brave now adiik, you must run and get away from Mandalore.” “What about you?” Your buir didn’t answer you instead they gently bumped their forehead against yours, “This is the way.”

“Hey kid!” Greez’s voice was quick to snap you out of your memory “Yes Greez?” You said as you went back to cleaning your blaster, “I’ll leave your plate here so you can eat later.” You nodded; you never took off your helmet even after Mandalore. Even when you met Cere and Greez you told them it was part of your creed and it was the one thing that you were still able to hold onto, Cere understood and thankfully so did Greez. “We’re approaching Bracca.” You heard Cere’s voice from the cockpit, you place your blaster in your holster and move over to where Cere was.

“Remember we’re here to find a Jedi named Cal Kestis” She said informing Greez and you, “and what makes you so sure he’s special?” You asked Cere she gives you a small smile “You do believe in hope, right?” She asked, you were glad for your helmet because she would’ve seen the doubt on your face when she asked you that. You haven’t believed in hope ever since the Great Purge on Mandalore, you didn’t want to get your hopes up only to lose it again like you did when you were alone. As you were lost in your thoughts you heard a loud sound erupt from outside.

You quickly look out the window and noticed a few empire starfighters “Shit! Cere they must’ve found him!” You shout, “Look there!” Cere shouts, you look and see a starfighter getting ready to blast at someone, Greez was quick to shoot at the starfighter you rush to the opening of the ship and press the door open “Hey what are you doing?!” Greez shouts, you decide to ignore him. As the ship door opens you saw him quickly look over at you, “keep moving!” You shout at him.

“And who are you?” You roll your eyes, was this really the time to be asking that? “Just keep moving forward! We’ll find a place to get you on the ship!” He only nodded and Greez pulled away quickly, “another starfighter is after us!” He shouts as he flies the Mantis away quickly, you place your hand on the wall to keep you from falling.

“Shit! They shot the train! Get ready to help Cal!” Cere shouts, you nod. Greez positions the Mantis and you watch as Cal comes sliding down the train, you hold your hand out “You have to jump!” You shout and Cal did what you said, but he was barely able to grab onto the edge of the platform. “Hold on!” You shout as you try sliding towards Cal as he’s about to reach for your hand a sudden blast hits the mantis, “Fuck!” You shout as Cal’s hand slips making him fall. “Cere he’s falling!” You shout “Greez try following him!” Greez nodded and tried following Cal, shit you didn’t think he would survive a fall like that. You’d be surprised if he did “He’ll be fine, relax.” You heard Cere say from the cockpit, even with your helmet on Cere often could read your emotions.

“I see him, get the door ready.” Greez says, when you look out the window you see Cal fighting against an inquisitor. You knew it was the second sister you rushed towards the door and open it; you see Cal on the ground rubbing his head “Get on!” You shout getting his attention, Cal was quick to get on his feet and limp his way over to the Mantis. That’s when you saw her the second sister with her red lightsaber glowing, she tilts her head to the side as she stares at you. “Funny I thought Mandalorians were extinct, I guess the empire didn’t wipe all of you out.” You didn’t say anything, instead you pushed Cal inside and pulled out your blaster and began to shoot at her.

She managed to dodge it and even use her lightsaber to deflect them back to you, you weren’t worried about it hitting you. Your armor protected you well enough, but when you saw her running towards the Mantis you knew she wanted to strike you down with her lightsaber. You press a button to get the door to close “Cere, Greez! We have to leave now!” You shout, as she gets close the door finally closes protecting you from her lightsaber. You and Cal rush to the front and see the second sister jump on the ship, she tried getting control of the ship. The mantis starts to spin around you hold onto anything, so you didn’t end up falling. Cere was quick to help Greez get control back on the ship making the second sister fall off from the mantis, Greez quickly sent the four of you into hyperspace and away from Bracca.

You let out a sigh of relief as you go sit down, “okay, shut that thing off and grab a seat.” You hear Greez say from the cockpit, Cal shut off his lightsaber “thanks for the help, but who are you people?” Cal asked as he and Cere joined you, “My name is Cere Junda, and this is my captain Greez Dritus.” Cal looked over at you waiting for you to introduce yourself, you crossed your arms and only stared at him back. Cere cleared her throat “She’s a close friend of mine, she’s a Mandalorian.” Cere said and Cal only managed a small nod “Who was that back there?” he asked Cere, “An imperial inquisitor she’s a force user hunting down Jedi survivors and now that she knows who you are, she will not stop until she destroys you.”

“How do you know so much?” Cal asked, “And why’d you help me?” Cere stared at Greez and you “We track imperial communications; we heard the inquisitors were heading to Bracca so we made our move.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s the bounty on Jedi these days anyway?” Cal said as he crossed his arms, “Hey di’kut you’re allowed to leave anytime nobody is stopping you.” You said to him, Cere and Greez risked their lives to save him and that’s the thanks he has for them? You didn’t want to listen to their conversation anymore, you decided to get up and leave to your room. As you close the door you finally take off your helmet Maker you were exhausted from today, you lay in your bed and slowly began to close your eyes.

“Adiik?” You open your eyes and see your buir near the door “Buir? You’re home late.” You said rubbing your eyes, they nod “I was in a meeting with the others, we were discussing the ceremony for you to accept the creed.” Your buir saw the way your eyes light up in excitement, they chuckled “are you excited?” “Yup! That way I can finally go with you to different planets! I want to see different parts of the galaxy.” You didn’t know that the incoming days would be the last with your buir, you wished that the both of you weren’t on Mandalore when the Great Purge happened.

You suddenly woke up when you heard a soft knock at your door, you quickly put on your helmet and walked over to your door to open it. When you did you saw Cal standing there, he awkwardly rubbed the back on his neck “Cere is calling for us.” “I’ll be there.” Cal continues to stand there, before you could ask him what’s wrong, he quickly apologizes to you “Listen, I’m sorry about before… I was just being caution.” You sighed “Cal don’t worry about it I understand, trust me Mandalorian beskar goes for a high price too.” He smiles “we should get going before Cere becomes inpatient.”

You follow Cal out and see Cere standing near the hologram “You two are finally up.” She said looking at Cal and you, you already knew she smiling at the sight of seeing you and Cal getting along. “We’ll be landing in Bogano, I’m sure you remember it right?” she asked you “Oh how could I forget the adorable bonglings.” You say to Cere, “You thought those things were cute?” Greez asked, “Hey don’t be jealous just because one of them let me touch it while they kept running away from you.” You teased Greez grumbles and Cere just chuckles, as Greez lands the ship you follow Cere and Cal outside.

“A Jedi I knew discovered this place before the Purge, you won’t find it on any maps.” Cere explained. “The empire doesn’t know this place exist?” “No.” “So what’s the plan...We hide out here?” Cal asked. “We’re done hiding Cal. See that structure over there?” She pointed towards a direction where it seemed to be a tall tower, “I believe that vault holds the key to rebuilding the Jedi order, but it requires someone strong in the force to pass its test.” Cere said to Cal, “and since you’re not a Jedi anymore that’s why you need me.” “I know you don’t trust me and I’m not really sure I trust you, but we have a common enemy and a common cause I’ll share more of plan after you reach the Vault, but until then there’s someone here, I think you should meet.” Cere begins to walk towards the Mantis “May the force be with you both.” When Cere said that you quickly looked over at her, she wanted you to go with Cal? Before you could even ask her, she was already inside the Mantis, “Guess we’re looking for a Jedi then?” he asked you.

You could only tilt your head “I’m assuming so, but I can’t entire the vault with you.” Cal only nods “Then I hope you can keep up.” He teases. You rolled your eyes as you start following him, you noticed a few bonglings jumping from one hole to another. “Have you been here before?” he asked, “Yeah, but I’ve never ventured far it was only Cere.” You hear Cal hum in response, as you follow Cal he comes to a stop “This looks like a safe space to meditate.” You didn’t respond you watched as he sits down on the ground and closes his eyes, you made sure to remain quite as you didn’t want to disturb him.

Suddenly though you heard a small noise coming from somewhere, you placed your hand on your blaster getting ready to protect Cal until a small droid jumped down in front of you almost startling you a bit. “Maker you scared me little guy.” You said taking your hand away from your blaster and placing it on your hip, the small droid beeped again and looked at Cal. He was still meditating “he’s a little busy just give him a few minutes.” You say to the little droid he places himself in front of Cal patiently waiting for him, you hear Cal suddenly let out a sigh before looking down at the droid in front of him “Hey, BD-1 I’m Cal.” BD-1 responses back to him, “uhm yeah I’m okay, we’re just looking for someone.” BD-1 beeps again “No, not you. We’re searching for a Jedi or something like that.” Suddenly BD-1 jumps in excitement almost like BD-1 is telling you both to follow.

“Hold on, you know the Jedi? What do you know?” BD-1 doesn’t explain instead telling you both to follow again “wait! Hold on.” You watch as BD-1 slices a platform allowing a small bridge to pull out making it easier for Cal and you to climb the vines “maybe BD-1 could lead us to the vault?” You asked as you follow Cal “Hopefully it would make it easier to get there.” You hummed in agreement, as the both of you follow BD you noticed BD going into a cave-like home. You suddenly saw a creature attacking one of the bonglings BD quickly rushed to save it, but the creature only ended up attacking BD in the process. “Hold on BD-1, I’m coming.” Cal says as he lets go out the pole and rushing the creature with his lightsaber.

As Cal took care of the creatures you picked up BD-1 and examined him “Shit Cal?” “What’s up?” you showed Cal the damage that happened to BD-1, “That was pretty brave of you to protect the bongling.” Cal said to BD-1, BD sadly beeped back at Cal “wait I think I can fix him.” You tilt your head as you follow Cal, he uses the force to slow down a giant fan-like object. As you follow Cal inside you see a workbench, “Here give me BD.” You gently pass BD to Cal and that’s when Cal gets to work on fixing BD’s leg, “okay how’s that?” BD jumps on one leg to the other to test it out, he beeps happily at Cal before beeping at you.

“Nice job.” You said nudging gently at Cal’s shoulder. “Hm, I didn’t expect to get a compliment from a Mandalorian.” Cal said smirking at you. “Don’t get used to it.” As you and Cal start to find your way out of the cave you saw an area that looked like it leads outside, “Oh hey you found a way out.” Cal took out his lightsaber and was getting ready to cut the wires away, you barely noticed that it was electrocuted “Wait Cal!” it was too late to warn him, Cal flies backwards as his lightsaber connects with the wires. “Dank farrik!” you rush to Cal and gently help him sit up “I’m alright.” Cal said letting out a painful groan “No you’re not, Cal that could’ve killed you.” You’re not sure what you could give Cal for his pain, you forgot to bring your bacta.

You heard BD-1 let out a beep as he rushed to your side and Cal’s suddenly BD-1 popped something out “a healing stim?’ BD beeped happily “Nice BD.” You gently patted his head, Cal used the stim “that’s better, thanks little droid.” Cal said as he starts getting up “Okay, let’s try this again.” Cal goes to cut the wires again until he felt a tug on his leg, “Cal it looks like someone’s attached to you.” You said gently nudging his side “okay then, hop on board.” Cal said placing BD on his shoulders, “so how’d you get here?” Cal asked BD, BD responded “Don’t remember? I’ve never known a forgetful droid.” BD responded back “Well I can’t argue with that.”

As you followed Cal out you noticed at times, he would spot an area and hold out his hand, it confused you was there something that you didn’t, “Cal?” “Yeah?” “Do you see something I don’t?” You asked, Cal came to stop. “I can feel the force, it’s almost like an echo if that makes sense. It’s almost like I can read someone’s stories and emotions through it.” You titled your head “Can every Jedi do that?” You asked, “I’m not sure, I think it’s rare I was just born with it I guess.” You hum.

“That’s neat.” “Is it?” “You can connect to someone’s story; I think that’s neat.” You said to him, “I thought you told me not to get used to getting compliments from you.” You were about to make a remark at him back, until you saw how close you two were getting to the vault. “Here I think we just have to zipline down.” Cal said, you nodded in agreement “I’ll go first.” You waited your turn as Cal zipped line down to a cliff, you followed after. As you got to the cliff BD let out a few chirps, “I don’t think we can go that way BD.” Cal said to him, “I think I can get to that cliff using my jetpack, but I’m not sure if I would be able to carry you.” You told Cal.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll find my way up there. I’ll meet you there?” You were hesitating about it, Cere told you both to stick together, but Cal did have a lightsaber and BD with him. “Okay be careful.” You told him “Are you starting to warm up to me? I feel safer now being on good terms with a Mandalorian.” Cal teased again “CAL!” You got ready to punch his shoulder, but Cal quickly jumped down dodging your attack. You sighed as you flew onto the edge of the cliff, as you slowly walked towards the vault you realized it didn’t have an opening.

“How the heck is Cal going to get inside?” You mumbled. You decided to take off your helmet, Cal wasn’t here, and you were positive nobody was here besides you guys. The wind felt nice and so did the sun against your skin, as you looked out you started to realize how peaceful Bogano was besides the creatures who resided on Bogano. Maybe that’s why cordova decided to live here? You wondered what you would’ve been doing now if the empire didn’t take over, would you have traveled the universe to different planets or stayed on Mandalore? You heard a sudden noise and quickly you put on your helmet, that’s when you saw Cal and BD. “Hey! How’d it go?’ you asked as BD and Cal jogged up to you, “I… actually reconnected with the force.”

“Cal, what do you mean?” You three made your way to the vault as Cal started to explain to you what he meant, “after the purge and… the death of my master I lost my connection with the force, so I forgot a few of my training. Somehow, I was able to reconnect to the force and I picked up a trick.” Before you could ask what, he remembered the three of you were finally at the top of the vault. Cal placed his hand on what seemed to be a gold-like wall, you watched as he closed his eyes almost like he was focusing on it. Suddenly you saw the wall slide up, both you and Cal looked at each other.

“I should probably stay out here.” You told him, he only nodded “Be careful in there.” “You too.” You watched as Cal disappear inside the vault, as you patiently wait for Cal you noticed something moving in the water in front of the vault. You decided to go see what it was, you knew there were creatures on Bogano. Yet you haven’t encountered much of them or had to shoot at one, as you got closer a large creature emerged from the water and it did not look friendly at all. “Shit!” you shouted as you dodged out of the way as the creature tried attacking you, what in the maker was it?! You said to yourself as you focused on not getting crushed by that thing.

You took out your blaster and began to shoot at it, you’re not sure how many times you would have to continue to attack it before it finally left you alone. As you tried dodging its attack again it was able to graze your leg, you let out a painful grunt. You heard someone running behind you, it was Cal he quickly turned on his lightsaber and attacked the creature. “Are you alright?” he asked as he stood in front of you guarding you in case the creature tried attacking you again, “I’m fine, it was just able to graze my leg a bit.” You said as you stood up, “I can still fight if that’s what you’re asking.” You pointed your blaster at the creature and that’s when you two began to attack it, thankfully with Cal at your side the fight didn’t last too long.

“Do you need a stim?” Cal asked as he turned off his lightsaber, you notice his eyes scan down to your leg. “I have bacta back at my room, I’ll be fine. What did you find out?” You asked as you place your blaster away, “There’s a holocron that contains the future for force-sensitive children.” When Cal told you that you could see the way his eyes light up in happiness “Cal, that’s great.” You said as you both made the journey back to the Mantis, once arriving back you saw Cere outside waiting.

“You passed the test.” “So, you knew about BD-1?” “C’mon board, we’ll take inside.”

You and Cal made your way inside the Mantis, once inside BD-1 jumped off Cal’s shoulder “Oh, BD-1 this is Greez. Hey, Greez.” Cal said, BD-1 quickly jumped on the sofa “what is that?” BD-1 chirped “Get off my sofa! Get… Get off my sofa! Go! Get outta there, Get out!” Greez said as he chased BD-1. BD-1 quickly took cover on your shoulder instead of Cal’s, almost like he was telling Greez that he has a Mandalorian to protect him. “That’s BD-1.” Cal said look over at you both, “He’s with us.”

“I don’t care who’s he with. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get oil stains out of potolli-weave fabric?” “Not really.” Cal said as he walked away from Greez and stood near you and BD-1, “Oh, I hope you found something better out there than this droid.” Greez complained, “Oh calm down greez he did.” Cere said.

“Tell us Cal.” “The vault was built by an ancient civilization called the Zeffo, A Jedi named Eno Cordova hide something inside of it.” “What did he hide inside?” Cere asked. “A holocron from the archives, it contains a list of force-sensitive children.” “The next generation of Jedi. I knew it! Ah Cordova you old fool.”

“You knew him?” Cal asked, “Yes, a long time ago. I was his apprentice. Cordova was a loner, that little droid and I are probably the only ones that know about Bogona.” Cere said. “Hold on, wait a minute, wait a minute. A holo-what?” Greez asked. “A holocron, it stores information, but only accessible to Jedi. Hang on I think I have one around here.” Cere said as she left to go grab it, the four you follow behind. Cere holds what seems to be a small box, she hands it to Cal “Use the force.” As Cal focuses on it, the box begins to open.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen…”

The box closes ending the message, “with that list of force-sensitives, we could rebuild the Jedi Order and defeat the empire.” “Okay no problem. Let’s get it.” Greez says as he starts walking towards the cockpit, “Expect the holocron is hidden deep inside the Vault and to get it we have to follow Cordova’s path, he mentioned something about the planet Dathomir and a Zeffo homeworld.” Cal explained “Alright, well where are we going? I’m just asking, ‘cause I was thinking of maybe making some food.” Greez said.

“Look, before we do anything. I need to know something.” Cal sat as he looked over at Cere “How come you’re no longer a Jedi?” You watched as Cere casted her eyes down “I had an experience that… changed my perspective, So I cut myself off from the force.”

“But you still want to rebuild the order?”

“I believe that rebuilding the order is the best chance we have against the Empire, what do you believe?” Cere asked Cal, you saw he hesitated to answer before saying “I believe I can’t keep hiding from the Empire. So, I really don’t have a choice.” “Cal as long as you’re alive you will always have a choice, are you with us?” Cere asked, Cal looked over at you then to BD-1 who was still perched on your shoulder. “We’re in.” he said as BD-1 chirped happily “Dathomir or Zeffo? It’s your choice.” Cal walked over to the Holotable and picked Zeffo for the next destination “Hey kid, what happened to your leg?” Greez asked, shit you forgot all about that “some creature, I’m going to go clean it up.” You say as you leave to your room, you placed BD-1 down on your bed. You go to take off your helmet until you realize BD was with you, but… it wouldn’t count right? He’s not a living thing technically. BD-1 beeped curiously, you slowly take off your helmet and place it down on your bed, you watch as BD-1 starts scanning it.

“Do you have a thing for studying things?” you asked, and BD-1 chirped, “I’ll take that as a yes.” You say as you find the bacta and start cleaning your leg, “Maker I didn’t realize that it got me that badly.” You say to BD, you heard a knock on your door “Busy come again later.” “It’s Cal is BD with you?” he asked from the other side of the door, you picked up your helmet and put it back on before opening the door for Cal.

“Sorry I couldn’t find BD anywhere.” “No worries he was just watching me try to clean up my leg, apparently he likes scanning things.” “I’ve noticed.” Cal said as he walked inside your room, “Hey I can help put the bacta on your leg.” He said as he starts kneeling to where your leg was “Don’t worry I can do it.” For some reason though Cal didn’t get up instead he held his hand out waiting for you to hand him the bacta, “Cal… you’re so stubborn.” You said as you handed him the bacta, Cal is careful to extend your leg a bit towards him. He starts to gently clean at the wound, as Cal was focused on your leg, he didn’t notice you staring at him.

Usually whenever you got an injury you never really allowed someone to help you, but why did you allow Cal to help you? Maybe it was because he insisted on helping you while others would allow you to do it yourself? Who knows you decided to look over at BD who was staring at Cal, “done.” You heard Cal say, “nice work on the bandages.” You said as you lifted your leg onto your bed “I think I did a pretty good job.” “You did, thanks for helping me.” You say to him, “you’re going to rest for a bit?” he asked.

“Yeah, the trip to Bogona tired me a bit.” Cal nodded “I’ll let you know when we get to Zeffo.” “Thanks Cal.” You heard your door open and the close, you made sure to lock it before removing your helmet and placing it on your workbench. Your eyes start to slowly close and you start to dream of your childhood on Mandalore.

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