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seeker-ophelia · 18 days ago

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Dragon Age: The Veilguard

Ophelia’s Review, Part 1: The Emotion

Like most people on tumblr, I went into Veilguard for Solavellan. I needed a happy ending for them. I had obsessed and freaked and theorized for years. But before I delve into VG I need to explain some backstory. This is going to be as much a biography of me as it is a tale of my rook. And its going to be long, so you know, heads up. And Veilguard Spoilers.

I have been really struggling to get my thoughts into a coherent string after act 2 of VG. I feel like I can’t even review the game because I’m so emotionally wrecked, all I can do is tell a story. If you want to read this, be forewarned, its long, also, obviously spoilers, Veilguard. But… holy god my Rook.

[Part 2 is here]

My first Dragon Age game was Origins, in 2009. I torrented it off Pirate Bay and played on my aging laptop that could barely handle it. And I loved it. I had never played a game like this before and loved the emotional and story-telling aspects of the game. I played as a Dalish rogue, Lelianna and Zevran were my best friends. Morrigan was the awe-inspiring yet traumatized goth-girl, and I fell for the golden-retriever bastard king of Ferelden.

I did not only watch on in broken-hearted horror as he ascended to his throne beside Anora without me, but I had him lie with Morrigan, the weirdo-turned-friend, because I trusted her, and frankly, I didn’t want to die.

And it broke me in a way the fantasy books I inhaled like oxygen as a child never did.

Because I chose to do those things. I made the choice. For right or for wrong, I was the one who decided their fate, even if those choices came back to bite me in the ass later.

I played Origins three more times over the next 5 years, through what I now call my University Years. I was broke, stressed, and overworked, and Origins became a comfort to me. I even properly bought the game with the DLCs the last time, because I had a little more money, and I figured a game that I had played and loved so much deserved it. (Never played 2, and that was my own fault). I discovered Fan Fiction because of Origins.

Then… I did some life things that I’m not going to air into the internet, but I kind of got my life together around 2016/17. I had a good job, a career even, and while I was by no means wealthy, I was okay.

And I heard about Dragon Age Inquisition, and remembered my old love for Origins, and gave it a go. I’ve always been a fantasy stan (I grew up with LotR), if you give me the option to play as a mage or an elf I’m going to do it. I wanted to romance Leliana, especially after her bad-assery in Redcliffe, but that turned out to be impossible. Because I never played 2, I didn’t know who Cullen was, and I romanced him (my love letter to Alistair). And while I liked the game, loved it even, I didn’t feel that emotional pull that Origins made me feel, and I put it aside. I’ve played some other games I’ve liked throughout the years, Fable, Skyrim, The Witcher, and I liked them all, but none of them really gut-punched me like that first fated Origins playthrough.

Cut to 2020, covid, and fuck if I didn’t have anything better to do, so I played DA2.

Oh man, I laughed at the graphics, oh it was so bad after Inquisition, how did anyone play this? And then I walked Darktown with Anders, walked slaver dens with Fenris, helped my Merrill with her Eluvian, and Isabela with her relic. And I helped my friend Varric in the deep roads. And I began to feel a tendril again of what I had in Origins. Who cared about the graphics, the gameplay, the locations, these people’s stories were what was driving this tale, and that was amazing and rare.

And I went into Inquisition with new eyes. I could not touch Cullen again, not after how he acted in Kirkwall. I knew Solas left, so I wanted to try and romance Bull (I’ve seen the youtube videos; ‘So you want to ride The Bull’). But I slowed down my playthrough this time, talked to everyone, actually spoke to Solas over and over in Haven. Indominatable focus indeed, hahren. What a curiosity you are. And I fell for fucking Solas.

A bald fucking hobo apostate, are you for real? Brain, get your head in the game. And my heart said, wait.

But he leaves! You know he leaves!

Well, maybe I’m just destined to fall in love with emotionally unavailable fictional people.

And I played Descent and Hakkon for the first time, which were fantastic. And then I played Trespasser.

And Trespasser broke me. Just like Origins did.

And my Casual Dragon Age Days were done. I was feral.

But I also had a very demanding job. I could not just play video games for large chunks of time. I worked. A lot. I mean a lot. And in the fall of this year, I burnt out. I quit. I’ve got Real Shit going on in my life right now, and I’ve worked so much I can afford to take some time off.

And Dragon Age was there to welcome me, arms open wide, with Escapism 4.0, AKA The Veilguard. I spent hours crafting theories, making connections, playing Inquisition again, playing DA2 again, writing, actually writing Fics again. I read the comics, read TN, watched Awakening (twice).

I joined tumblr to stop being a lurker and actually participate. Joined Caitie and Kala’s patreons, just loving the hype and the theory crafting and the love for Veilguard. I love the Dragon Age world. It has helped me through so many tough times in my life, and its going to get me through this one, too.

I found community online. In tumblr, in reddit, in discord.

And I breathed Dragon Age for almost 2 months before Halloween. Solas this and Lavellan that and Fade and Magic and Titans and Gods and Love. Remember this, don’t forget about that, did you hear this theory, well what about the connection between…

To quote myself, Like most people on tumblr, I went into Veilguard for Solavellan. The companions came out, and I didn’t feel super strongly about any of them. I didn’t even feel strongly about my Rook. I had a general idea, especially because of Trick’s IGN interview, Rook/Mirror/Solas, but nothing really concrete.

And then Nadas-Dirthalen asked me about my Rook a few days before Halloween, and I had to think about it. I had to put down Solas and Lavellan, I had to put down my theories, put down the lore, and pick up this new thing. This Rook.

And I looked at it.

What did I want her to act like? What did I want her to look like? How did I want her to be? What drives her? Where is she from? What are her goals? What does she like? What does she hate?

And I weaved a new friend. Danivas (Dani, for short). Escaped rabbit slave out of Minrathous, her magic the only thing that saved her from hard labor in Dock Town or the mines, and then it was the only thing that saved her from the unwanted advances of the Tevinter Nobility. Rescued by the Dragons in her teens, she sought connection to her elvhen heritage with the Veil Jumpers, falling hard (platonically) for her mentor, her sister, Bellara. Everything she hated about herself, Bellara loved, and Bellara was flighty enough to need protecting, especially after Cyrian, so that’s what she became. Bellara’s protector. Arlathan’s protector. Protector of the small, and defender of the powerless. She will never apologize for saving Varric and the others at the cost of some stupid magic map, she would pay that price a hundred times over to save living beings.

And I made her in CC, I walked her through the streets of Minrathous, through Solas’ ritual, through Arlathan forest. My heart sang when I saw Harding again, and knew that Rook and Harding would be best friends. And I began to fall for the characters.

My Veil Jumper sister Bellara, poised but wickedly intelligent Neve, violent and troubled Lucanis, steadfast and resolved Davrin with playful Assan, towering yet growing Taash, and mystifying, immortalizing Emmerich, with his weird but I guess acceptable Manfred.

I helped Harding, Paragon of her time, discover her new mystifying magic, to find peace through pain, just as Bellara had done for Dani.

I learned all their stories. Their loves. How to interact with them, what they liked and didn’t like. And I fell, for Assan. That fucking griffon. Is so cute. How can you not love him? He’s just like Dani. Forced through circumstance to fight terrible evil, not necessarily against their nature, but certainly not what they would prefer to be doing. They are powerful and special and fierce and playful.

And, like any child, rebellious.

Dani helped Davrin through parenthood. He was a soldier, a commander, not a father, or a teacher, and though she was brash and sarcastic, she had been Bellara’s protector, she knew honey over vinegar, and pushed him to be gentler with Assan. Watched them grow together and felt such unhinged joy through their path to tulum. And then she looked up from digging her fingers into the feathers in Assan’s neck one day to see Davrin staring down at her, and thought, oh.

Her heart stuttered. And they flitted about each other for a long time. Teasing and testing, flirting and ribbing.

As she walked the steps of the Cobbled Swan to meet Morrigan, she told herself she would bring Davrin to Arlathan again, without Assan, and without any gingerwort tea. Just the two of them, and she would tell him what he meant to her.

But the Gods had different plans.

And they had to move, NOW.

Davrin, the Grey Warden constantly surrounded by death and destruction, tried to warn me.

What if one of us doesn’t come back?

I actually let myself imagine the future.

Our future.

With our half-bird, half-cat kid.

And Dani, who had never had much hope for anything before, brought her hand to Davrins face with a soft smile, and soothed her Griffon Daddy, Var Lath Vir Suledin, Davrin.

When we win, when we beat this thing, we will come back here, and I will show you how much I love you.

Every Solas fresco I uncovered, I cried. Every memory, every revenant, even the ones I saw coming. I felt so much emotion for Solas, even as my love for Rooks Companions grew. Dani’s love for Davrin grew, in a very real, fast, surprising way.

But the Gods Eclipsed the Sun, and we had to move, NOW.

Of course I chose the Grey Warden to lead the charge against the Antaam. I needed Taash and Harding with me, and he was better suited to the roll. Harding is a scout, not a commander, and Davrin would have Lucanis for any sneaky mischief he would need, with Emmerich for any quick heals.

Imagine my relief when we met up again. I made a choice and he didn’t die, thank you, BioWare.

No, Neve, Bellara is better suited to deal with old Elvhen Magic.

And then Elgar’nan took her from me. Dani’s sister. Her home.

And she blasted through darkspawn and Blight to get to Elgar’nan, to get to Bellara.

But they had to get through Ghilan’nain first.

Fuck you Ghilan’nain if you think I’m fighting alone, my strength is my team, and I will move Fade and Titan to get to them. And Dani frees them, only to have Lucanis foiled, again. How do we get out of this? What do we do?

Upside down, she watches Davrin scale a crumbling tower, and their eyes meet.

No.

Whatever it takes.

Davrin, No.

His voice is deep and commanding, resolute and resolved.

“Assan!”

And Dani’s scream tangles with Assans as her son smashes into Ghillan’nain’s back.

The Blighted Goddess stumbles, and Lucanis and Dani fall to the ground, but Ghilan’nain’s blight is lightening, and when Dani looks up at Davrin two tentacles have speared him, his eyes wide and unseeing into the dark sky.

She screams again, Ghilan’nain forgotten, and as she watches Assan dive to the aid of his fallen partner, Dani is knocked back by a concussive blue blast; the Crow has fulfilled his contract.

The air is charged, the veil tearing here, Emmerich is yelling something at her, she must remove the dagger or this world will be torn asunder.

And then there’s overpowering, pressured silence. Grey and fog and stone and loneliness surround her, and all she can see or hear is Solas.

You were never ready to make the sacrifices that leadership requires.

Davrin. Assan. Bellara. My family. Is GONE. Because of ME.

Well, shit, kid. Haven’t you learned anything from this place? I made the choice, even knowing the risks. My decision, my sacrifice, and you don’t get to take that from me.

And Emmerich and Lucanis pull her from her prison of regret, and she knows she can’t blame herself, that would be taking away Davrin and Bellara’s agency, but you know who she can blame?

Solas.

The man my Lavellan loves. The man I swore to save. The one I started this game for. The one who made me feral for Dragon Age.

He did this to me.

Solas took away my love. By not being able to face his regrets.

And Dani became Hardened.

“Are you certain you’re alright, Rook?”

“We’ve still got work to do. I can collapse when this is over.”

“You needn’t carry this burden on your own. The rest of us will send word to our allies. You must take care of yourself in the meantime. We’ll speak again soon.”

But she was fine. She would be fine. Had to be fine. They had a job to do. Gods to kill. People to save.

It was walking past Assan’s spot in the courtyard that broke her.

Mourn Davrin?

To the Void with that.

I will avenge him.

I will kill the Elf who started all of this, forget Mythal, forget Lavellan, forget the Blight.

Mirror.

Solas cannot blame himself, that would be taking away the agency of his friends, but you know what he can blame?

The Veil.

I will end the curse that started all of this, forget Mythal, forget Lavellan, forget the Blight.

Mirror.

I will defend the small.

Mirror.

I will free the enslaved.

Mirror.

You were never ready to make the sacrifices that leadership requires.

Mirror.

Its easier to play the villain, because that means you didn’t fail, all the damage you’ve done, all the people you’ve hurt…

Mirror.

It becomes a choice.

Mirror.

Remind yourself who you really are.

Mirror.

But will you listen?

Mirror.

Rook lays on the cold cobblestone, eyes wide, fist white-knuckled around the lyrium dagger, a battered and bruised Solas standing behind her. Her anger got her through her battle with Elgar’nan, but it will not help her here.

Rook will have to live with the choices she made. The successes and the failures. She can’t blame Solas. It's easier to blame Solas. But that’s exactly what Solas did, place blame where it did not belong, and it destroyed the world.

And her anger and hate and grief and despair swallow and consume itself into the tiniest, smallest fleck of a wisp.

Of hope.

She rose slowly, meeting Solas’ gaze, and places the dagger in his outstretched, bloody hand.

I don’t want to see any more pain on top of what Elgar’nan has done.

(Hope)

Your prison is made of regrets, and you are trapped in yours.

(I’ll not be trapped in mine)

Destroying everything won’t erase your mistakes.

(Killing Solas won’t bring Davrin and Assan back)

You have the chance, right now, to save the world. Bind yourself to the veil and stop it from failing.

And it takes the Mother, the Maiden, and the Mirror, for Solas to accept his past.

As Lavellan walked the din’an shiral after Solas, Rook walked it for Davrin.

As Varric released Dani from her regret, Mythal released Solas from his.

As Solas turns to the Eluvian, the Magic Mirror named Rook, he is forced to see his faults, and how to fix them.

His corrupted purpose is repairable. And he passes his torch to the Mirror, vowing to seek atonement for the sins of his past, sins grown and amplified because he refused to face the truth of them.

And that will probably hit everyone, because I’d wager good coin that if you’re playing video games, or reading fantasy, you’ve used escapism before, but it hits especially hard for me. Right now. At this point in my life. When my own personal veil I’ve constructed to hold back my own evils is crumbling around me because I have not faced the truth of my own past sins, my memories as demons grown and amplified and slipping through cracks because I refused them for so long. My choice.

And when Solas and Ellana walked into the sunset, I cried. And cried. And cried. Because this whole time I thought I was my Inquisitor, bare your blade and raise it high, look to the sky, for one day soon, the dawn will come, var lath vir suledin. Bellanaris. Perseverance, endurance, outlive, outlast, that is what you need.

When in reality I am my Rook. Let go of your regret. You don’t need to hold on to this, you need to let it go.

We all have to face our regrets. Accept them, and then let them go. Running from them only makes them worse.

And I leave with the lyrics of the Veilguard Credits song, “Roll The Credits,” by Danielle Ponder:

I could feel it, I won't come down I could see it, oh, with all eyes Hold my head and saw the whole sky I never felt so damn alive And if there's smoke, then I'll be water If there's fire, I'll be rain

We were lost, but we weren't stranded We were dreamers on the run I gave my all, it was commanding And we just did this shit for fun I could feel it, I won't come down Found myself above the sky Tell my mama, tell my daddy That love is falling from the sky

Good God Almighty, I done opened my mind These holy waters left a chill down my spine

#Dragon Age #Certified Long Post #Long Post #Veilguard Review Part 1 #Dragon Age Rambles #Ophelia Rambles #Dragon Age Veilguard #Dragon Age: The Veilguard #Ophelia Reviews #Veilguard #Veilguard Spoilers #DATV #datv spoilers #Part 1 The Emotion #Spotify

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askuemki · 6 months ago

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So I have no idea if I’ll keep this post up, but…

A little rant abt re8?? (And cod.. kinda) maybe venting (just a mess :,)

Disclaimer, take my opinions with a grain of salt I just wanna ramble lmao

Also spoilers, maybe (update, definitely)

So I’ve been having fun dipping my toes into Donna Beneviento (god her last name is hard to spell) content. After watching the gameplays and to at least have a basic understanding for the game, I find myself really drawn to her, maybe more than Alcina tbh

By no means i’m a diehard fan or anything, recently it’s been hard to find a new fandom to get attached towards. As much as I adore cod, there isnt really much to get attached too… like sure, task 141 is a fun group and the there is some GREAT art about the ships- but I only got attached because of Valeria, I won’t deny it at all. I’m a diehard lesbian, but there isn’t really much cannon content of her?? It’s really damn disappointing sometimes, man… same with Laswell. I appreciate all of the fanartists out there though, I adore all of the content here, fanfics or fan art. With Farah, she’s a diffrent story.. personally I never really got attached to her, but as a character she’s pretty neat. Her story sort of brings to light the horrors happening today which is a bit of a benefit…?? But ever since I found out things about both Valeria’s and Farah’s actors I’ve been a little off about things here and there. I don’t think I’ll stop posting Valeria content at all, it just might be a little less offen to indulge in different things.

Some personal things have been happening to make me feel really disconnected from like.. fucking everything for some reason?? Like I’m drifting away from fandoms, I’m drifting away from people and I’m like alone again.. I’m lost in a damn dumpster fire. AI art doesn’t help with this at all.. like why do I draw?? I’ve been drawing since I was in kindergarten like I never really thought of the specifics of perusing art, more or so just that I want to. Like hey, I wanna make a game or movie series, and something in me doesn’t realize I need to put in the effort to learn shit with just ends up in me doing nothing but self pitting on something I can change and ugh.. wish I can slap myself to get out of it.

So I think I’ve been kind of finding myself relating to Donna. Not in her extreme way, more or so just her aspect of being isolated, and just being known primarily for one thing. Like.. our side of art? Damn. Shit. I think I’m worth nothing.. and with Donna we don’t really know much about her besides her being a cursed Dollmaker, and the bare bones of her past. And we both barely fucking speak man… both hide our faces too !! maybe I kin this woman or something I don’t know

But as I was looking through her tumblr tag, I saw a rant about how headcannons and stuff has been stripping away the interesting stuff about the re8 villains… and with the things I’ve seen so far?? I can kinda agree, honestly.

Don’t get me wrong, if it’s not too.. insane? (I know those boundaries are hard to define at times, but maybe REALLY immoral shit for our “normal” world) and people aren’t forcing these headcannons into other people? I don’t mind headcannons. You do you, boo!

But the fan content I’ve seen, people reduce Donna and Alcina (I’m surprised it was pronounced as AlCHIna and not AlSIna, but side tangent over) from the potential they really have. Yeah it’s definitely nice to see Donna more, especially in those intimate moments.. but sometimes I feel like people just depict her as some shy, easily gullible, girl, and not really the mentally deprived woman she is. Like I’d love to see ideas of the different dolls Donna could create, or unique imagery of her mental state outside of having porcelain skin. What about the kinds of plants she takes care of? Or the dolls she makes? I’d love to see more of it, whether she has favorites, or if it’s a situation where she has doll replicas of her deceased family. Man, I really wanna see Donna do more creepy shit, basically.

With Alcina however? She’s kind of reduced to that (I’m going to cringe at these words so terribly, god help me) “hot vampire mommy”.. I’ll take fault for not looking into her content as much, I’m sure there’s great content out there !! (I’m not sure if anyone would do this but.. feel free to send me any fic recommendations or art) With what I want to see for her? I’ve heard from the rant post as a man-hating woman she had primarily female statues in her castle, it would be fun to see what else she has cause of this worldview, as well as more whitty remarks from her; I really enjoy her throwback with Heisenberg. Just in general.. her being a comical villain.

Okay so, the reason why I made this post in the first place before all of this shit threw up from my brain. Belladonna. At first, this ship really interested me, I like the character dynamics, the art was neat. But then something came up in my mind.. (as well as another rant post on the ship..) isn’t the Dimitrescu bloodline related with Donna? Both are failed experiments from Mother Miranda, and technically adopted by her. Though from what I know, Donna is the only one officially adopted. So would that be family..? I’ve seen a few places where Alcina called Donna her sister, and it makes me feel really off.

And I’ve seen in a few fanarts, Donna technically older than the Dimitrescu sisters posed next to them like another sibling??

I would like to endorse the ship, but just the morality of everything is off centered for me. I rather not support weird incest…

So please if people could maybe clarify for me whether it would technically be okay for support this ship.. I’d appreciate it. If it isn’t okay, I have plans on making a fan character anyways, or I can take current characters and make a resident evil au or something, and ship them when Donna. (I have a character that honestly looks like a mix of Alcina and Bela, but by no means she’s relates to the franchise, lmao)

By no means I’m experienced in resident evil lore or the fandom, this is just coming from a newer fan of the series, and what I’ve seen so far.

If you read all of this.. thank you?? I apologize if I sound ridiculous here, this is like the only place I can rant abt things without being brushed off for other shit

Good night now!!! I need to stop pushing my sleep boundaries ugh

#valeria cod #re8 #donna beneviento #beladonna #rant post #vent post #cece blabbers #valeria garza #alcina dimitrescu #cod mw2 #genuine question at the end 😭

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anxiety-elemental-kay · 9 months ago

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And Take Away Its Pain: A Comparison of Masculinity, Trauma, and Queerness in Warcraft and Warframe

First, I want to shout out my friend Silriven at BluSky. (If any of you are mean to her I will Find You.) This thread she wrote recently reflecting on if/how she still likes Anduin as a character was what got me started writing this essay. She talks about the fandom response to Anduin, and the ways both the fandom and writers contradict themselves in discussing the character. The reason I wrote this essay is because I can think of another character and video game that work as a counterpoint to the way Anduin is portrayed.

Even before this specific thread, I made made a thread on BluSky comparing Warcraft and Warframe much earlier because both these games had major update reveals at around the same time. Not only that, but their content served as an interesting contrast between the different games' stories, and my own reactions to each.

The War Within[1] trailer and related announcements were revealed at Blizzcon 2023, around the same time as Digital Extremes, the developers of Warframe, held Tennocon 2023, which included a thirty minute demo of their next major story update, Whispers in the Walls.

For those unfamiliar with either/or World of Warcraft and Warframe, I’ll give a quick summary of the trailers.

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In TWW trailer trailer we see Anduin Wrynn sitting by himself in a desert. Anduin is a character the players have known for a long time, and last time we saw him he chose to disappear in response to a trauma he suffered in that expansion’s story. Here his face is dirty, he’s grown out a beard, and his hair is cut short. He has a vision of something that looks like a star calling his name. A second character appears, an orc named Thrall. The two talk; Thrall is calm while Anduin is angry and confrontational. They discuss the visions they’ve been having, how someone at “the heart of the world” is calling out to them. (Anybody who’s kept up with Warcaft's story even a little bit will know this voice is the Titan Azeroth, who lives inside the planet Azeroth.) When Thrall touches Anduin’s shoulder, Anduin has a brief flashback to when the ghost of his father touched his shoulder. Anduin draws his sword and declares “I’m not that person anymore! I have no Light! Not after what I’ve seen, not after what I’ve done!” Thrall replies “You are not your past, Anduin” and expresses his trust in Anduin, who struggles to not cry, and lowers his sword. Both of them experience a much stronger vision of the star calling for them, then Anduin accepts Thrall’s hand, and Anduin pledges to stand with him. They both express confusion at who could be calling out to them. (It’s Azeroth you dinguses!!!) The trailer ends with a cool shot of a giant sword sticking out of the desert, before switching to The War Within expansion logo.

Now, the Whispers In The Walls showcase was a full demo including gameplay, but to keep the comparison as fair as possible, I only talk about the opening three minutes [2]. You can see the whole showcase here.

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In the Whispers preview, we open with a cutscene. We start with some spooky eldritch speech, then we shift to someone the player will have heard of before, but never seen, Albrecht Entrati. Albrecht checks a beeping pager, and then an old computer, both out of place against the stylized sci-fi future setting of Warframe. He is followed by his feline companion. He gives his cat some pats, then he sits in a sci-fi casket, where his kitty also curls up. A second character, who we’ll learn later is named Loid, approaches Albrecht with his head bowed and eyes on the floor. Albrecht reaches up to Loid to touch his cheek, and wipes away a tear with his thumb. (Remember this moment, it's important for a point I'll make near the end of this essay.) Albrecht's dialogue is subtitled as (Quiet whispering). Then Albrecht lays down, and the casket closes. Loid raises a hammer as the casket makes loud sounds and lights flash, before he finally brings the hammer down to smash the casket. The screen cuts to black, then the gameplay starts.

Comparing these two teasers at the time, I thought about how Whispers was much more effective at building a story hook by creating mystery. Even if I limit myself to that opening cinematic, we have one character, Albrecht, who we’ve heard a great deal about and is important to the story, but we’ve yet to meet him in-person. The contrast of his 90’s tech and fashion against the more fantastical technology common to Warframe’s universe is stark and creates interesting questions. We’re introduced to this relationship Albrecht has with Loid. I don’t know who these people are or what their circumstances are, but I see genuine love and conflict. I’m already invested in learning more and seeing what happens to them. It’s a great hook! I actually rewatched that opening three minutes a few times while writing this because I have brainworms!

The TWW trailer is about creating a hook based on seeing where beloved characters are now, seeing what’s become of them when the player wasn’t looking. Azeroth the Titan is speaking to the main cast, which is clear to the audience familiar with the game but not the characters for unclear reasons. Anduin is still suffering, unable or unwilling to heal from his trauma. Thrall wants to him to come out of hiding. Anduin agrees to. That’s it. What’s the story hook here? Anduin seems to have gone nowhere in the years since he was last seen, and I have no sense of where his story (or Thrall’s, or Azeroth’s) might be going. I don't even know why Anduin changes his mind and chooses to help Thrall. What, just because there's another big threat to the world? The last one wasn't enough to bring you out of hiding? It’s just stuff happening, a general sense of vague Peril. I can't even get that excited about the shot of Sargeras' sword! Blizz should've thought to address that earlier, like, when the planet got stabbed! That was cool and exciting! Our planet got stabbed by Warcraft Satan! Then it's ignored for years until now, after people kept asking what was going to happen to it. The trailer tries to build a mystery about where the visions are coming from, but it's the Titan Azeroth, the players figured it out right away, there's no mystery. I don't have any reason to feel like the writers care about the story, setting, or characters. I’m left feeling nothing for any of it but a vague sense of disappointment.

Even more, the TWW trailer feels like it’s deliberately avoiding adding any details. Anduin talks about how he’s lost his Light, how he’s “not that person anymore” which is not a bad way to take his arc, but I can’t connect it to when Anduin was enslaved by the Jailer in Shadowlands. I know where his trauma comes from, but the trailer makes no effort to explain or expand on how those specific events affected him. I’m not even going to explain what any of that means to people unfamiliar with Warcraft because it doesn’t matter! In both dialogue and in visuals, the trailer gives little texture or meaning to what Anduin is feeling. In the Whispers trailer, I know Loid is sad, not just because Albrecht is leaving, but that he has to have a role in that departure. I don't know what happened to Albrecht at this point, but the emotional hook is there along with the questions about the story. I care because I believe these two characters are in love. Why should I care that Anduin feels he's lost his Light? I have no sense of what this loss means or feels like. I have no sense of what he's struggling with, or what he might face in the future.

Since those trailers were released, Warframe had its promised Whispers update, and I’ve played the full quest and leveled up the linked faction, which contained more story. While I know I’m being unfair comparing a trailer to a full release, I will continue to do so anyway because 1) I’m a bitter old faggot, and 2) the full story of Whispers makes the comparison between Loid/Whispers as a whole and Anduin/TWW even more interesting/saddening.

This is your warning that I’ll be spoiling the quest Whispers In The Walls. Eventually. I've got some foundation I want to lay first.

I found a tweet thread by Christie Golden, one of Warcraft’s major writers. She links a TIME article about a woman struggling to raise her son to be gentle and kind in a world that encourages anger and violence in men. Golden lists Anduin (among others) as an example of nontoxic masculinity in fictional media. In her replies she goes on to expand on her thoughts.

Here’s the tweet by Golden that stuck out to me: “Too often men and boys who gravitate to the gentler side are automatically perceived as being gay, whether they are or not. ALL men/boys should be able to display these qualities, just like all girls/women can be tough and fearless and athletic if that's who they are.”

What’s wrong with being perceived as gay, Golden?

To be fair, there is a point here about assuming someone’s sexuality based on their personality or behavior. That is nonsense, and assigning traits to someone based on an observer’s opinion isn’t good. I even agree that not all straight characters should be one thing and all gay characters should be another! The problem with Golden’s statement is the implicit bias, being “automatically perceived as being gay” is framed as something bad. Why shouldn’t straight men and boys look up to a gay character? Can they not see themselves in a queer character? Why?

This is another reason why the comparison between TWW and Whispers is so interesting, because Whispers is gay. Sure, there are people who will argue Loid and Albrecht weren’t in love, because no one explicitly says they were together, but if you’re paying attention that’s unneeded. Loid refers to Albrecht as “my Albrecht”, and later, in a diary entry, we hear Albrecht refer to Loid as “my Loid”. There's a moment in the quest where we watch a recording of Albrecht, and he says, “I need Loid to understand why I had to leave. Without him. Why I forced him to destroy the device after I had gone. And why I could never say the words he so needed to hear.”

If you listen to the codex entry “Albrecht’s Notes: The Aftermath” about what he went through after coming back injured from the Void, you get even more. Albrecht describes Loid as “crooning motherly” and how “Loid nursed me then” back to full health. His descriptions, and the voice acting, are entirely earnest. There is no sarcasm or veiled disdain as he describes Loid in these feminine terms. The affection Albrecht both received, and gave, was genuine.

“The agony bit deep, but it was clean. Blameless love bled up from me.

I had decided to live.”

Yes, yes, this section is partly for me to be snappy at the people in the Warframe community who insist Loid and Albrecht aren’t a couple. What I want to demonstrate here is mechanically how Warframe tells its audience these characters are in love without needing to spell it out. Why it’s reasonable (and valid) to interpret characters as queer even if they don’t list their labels on their bios, so to speak.

To bring this back to the character of Anduin Wrynn: while he’s never been officially portrayed as queer, his story, at least in its earliest years, very much was.

Though we don't see much of Anduin in-game early in Warcraft's life, his first story plays out in the supplementary comics and novels. There’s a conflict between who Anduin feels he is and who he is expected to be. He’s expected to become a warrior like his father, Varian, but Anduin finds wielding weapons difficult. He's unable to reach Varian's standards for who he should be. Instead, Anduin chooses to become a healer, in Warcraft terms he chooses the priest class, and focuses on spellcasting and support. At one point, as Anduin is about to leave home to go and train in healing magic, Varian reaches out and nearly breaks his son's arm in his attempt to force him to stay. Varian is horrified at what he's done, and Anduin leaves.

Anduin's story is literally about rejecting the traditional masculinity his father represents to pursue his own, alternative path. We see how the life Varian's lived, a warrior's life full of violence, has poisoned his relationship with his son, how his toxic masculinity was a destructive force. Varian’s story in parallel is learning to accept Anduin’s choice, and learning to understand that his son is still powerful and capable, even if he’s not “strong” in the way Varian himself is. In addition, Anduin is one of the few characters who objects to the war(craft) between the two player factions and wants to find peace between them. Anduin’s story was, in theme if not in content, very much a queer narrative! It's about challenging tradition and finding a path that's more true to who he is and what he believes in.

This was why I connected with the character of Anduin initially. I started playing Warcraft in late Wrath of the Lich King, after ICC came out. When I first met Anduin he had a default human child model, and he said and did basically nothing. Then Cataclysm was released, he got his own teenager model, and a whole questline to himself. Suddenly he was someone with agency, wants, and personality! And then Mists of Pandaria came out and Anduin got to be a major focus of an entire expansion!

Anduin was absent from the next expansion, but the one after, Legion, Anduin returned with an adult model, and his father dies during the story's prologue. While he didn’t get the same focus he did in Mists, in Legion Anduin still had a whole storyline about becoming king, accepting his new role, and making peace with his father's death. It's smaller than his role in Mists, but it's a storyline I enjoyed!

I’ve literally watched this character grow up in real time. It’s a powerful experience!

(Side note: there’s a lot that can be said about Anduin as a monarch, what kind of state head he is, how he treats his people, and is an aspect that largely goes unacknowledged in the canon story. I'll shout out Silriven again, this is a topic she's gone a good job of discussing before. I want to acknowledge this part of his character, but I consider it beyond the scope of this specific essay. I do think making him king, making him someone who extracts taxes and sends people to die in war, does have a major impact on his character, his masculinity, and how he processes trauma. However, talking about monarchy, even a fictional one, is its own topic and needs its own space to explore. It's something to keep in mind whenever discussing any major character in Warcraft who is also a major political leader.)

Through all this I would say I saw Anduin as queer. At no point does he express serious romantic interest in anyone, nor does he appear to be under any pressure to find a partner through either societal or political norms. The themes of his stories made me think he was gay, especially as the only other character he grows close to is another boy. Anduin was a comfort character for me.

This began to change in the expansion after Legion, Battle for Azeroth.

Anduin begins to wear a set of plate armor, looking more like his warrior father, and the role he once rejected, than the priest he chose to be. He leads his armies in a war that he used to be wholly against, a contradiction he never fully confronts. When he punches Wrathion, a childhood friend who reappeared in the last expansion patch, players responded with praise in real life. “Manduin” punched Wrathion, who Anduin claimed was responsible for his father’s death. Which he wasn’t, and can only be seen as responsible through a Five Degrees of Kevin Bacon type web. I'm not sure why Anduin says this, unless the writers wanted to either smear Wrathion or erase the history of friendship the two had previously. Or, maybe they didn't want to bring up any legitimate reasons Anduin might be angry at Wrathion, like abandoning him. If I had a nickel every time one person abandoned another to go on an ill-fated time travel adventure, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't much but it's weird it happened twice.

(Here's a tangent: Imagine if Albrecht ended up in alternate Draenor and/or Wrathion ended up in 1999. Those stories would've gone VERY differently.)

Since I’ve brought him up, it’s time to talk about Anduin and Wrathion.

This topic is. Divisive. In the Warcraft fandom.

Wranduin, the ship name, is something that appeared in fandom mid Mists when the two characters first met. Anduin was curious about who this Wrathion person was and set out to investigate. Long story short, their families had a long history of conflict, and Anduin had every reason to be suspicious and mistrustful of Wrathion. Was openly mistrustful of Wrathion. They continue to hang out together through the rest of the expansion.

This all leads up to a particular moment in the novel War Crimes, taking place after the main events of Mists of Pandaria. Anduin and Wrathion continue to spend time with each other in that book, playing games and discussing politics. When Anduin expresses how tired he is, Wrathion declares “I shall, if asked politely, take you on my back and ferry you to fascinating places, where we will have adventures that will age your father ten years in one night.”

I've never read any of the books myself, but I’ve seen this passage passed around online and it stands out to me. It feels genuine, two teenagers who are close friends but also bad at vulnerability and Feelings, making a connection and finding comfort in each other. I’m not even asking anyone to see a romantic angle to this, just to understand the emotions of the moment. It feels specific to them.

I was in the Warcraft fandom during Mists, I thought their relationship was interesting, and it could make for an interesting romance. Despite ideological differences, they were very much kindred spirits. People born into power who’ve also suffered immense loss of agency. Both were forced to grow up quickly, had their lives endangered at young ages, and both want to protect the world they live in, even if that means different things to both of them. That tension, the clash between their ideals and their personalities, the potential for connection and division both, was what made their relationship so interesting.

Then Wrathion disappeared for several expansions, came back in BofA, and the first thing that happens is Anduin punches him in the face. We never see them in a scene together after this moment ends.

It's worth noting that while Wrathion isn't human (he's a dragon in disguise) his humanoid form makes him one of the very few non-white characters in the main cast. They reintroduce him by having a white man, who was once a friend, punch him in the face. This is an action Anduin has never apologized to Wrathion for.

There’s another Warframe character I want to talk about briefly: Ticker. She’s a trans woman.

She's been in the game much longer than Loid and Albrecht, but like them, her identity is never explicitly stated, but at the same time it's unambiguous. She has a deeper, more masculine voice, has a masculine appearance (Old Mate rank spoilers, but if you know you know) while her body language is very feminine and she uses exclusively feminine pronouns and terms for herself. One her voice lines when you speak with her is “A person gets told a lot of things over the course of a life. Who they are. Who they should be. Amateurs, lecturing a professional.”

She is a trans woman, she has some of the best lines in the game, and I love her.

My greatest disappointment with Ticker is that she isn’t involved in the greater storyline associated with her zone. We do meet other good characters (Eudico in particular is a lady character I adore) but Ticker’s exclusion sticks out to me. Sure, one could point to Smokefinger as also being largely absent, but Ticker’s role in the story is to help pay off people’s debts so they don’t suffer more than they have to. This is something she has to do in secret (to her boss’s boss, not to the player natch) or risk facing harsh punishment herself. This could tie directly into the area’s larger story about a workers' union violently revolting against its hyper-capitalist overlords. Why isn’t she in Vox Solaris DE??? By the way, the player sides with the union.

(Side note: Blizzard is an American studio, while Digital Extremes is Canadian. I can feel a potential discussion of these two countries, labor unions, and these two games, but like the point about monarchy in Warcraft, that needs its own space. There's definitely things to talk about, but I'd need to do real research before I could begin to approach it.)

So looking at Ticker, then looking at Whispers, this update shows growth to me. Warframe is showing two men in love[3], both characters and their identities are treated with respect by the narrative and other characters. Yes, this isn’t the same as depicting a canonical trans woman, but I’m inclined to be patient and kind when I sense that creator(s) are earnest about portraying experiences that aren’t theirs. We all have internal biases we need to uproot, it’s a journey that will last our whole lives, and one that will inevitably end incomplete. We can all and always learn to improve our art, as well as our compassion and understanding of other people. For me, forgiveness for earlier depictions that were poor or problematic is easy when I believe the creator(s) are making a sincere effort. We all make mistakes, and we all grow. Hopefully DE will add another canonical trans person to their game who will have a bigger role.

I’m hammering this point home because I have never felt this level of sincere effort from Blizzard.

I know I’m comparing an middle-ish game studio to a massive AAA company, and I do not care. Whether it’s because of the writers’ cowardice or a producer’s mandate, Warcraft takes only small steps to be inclusive, while Warframe is genuinely trying. (DE also updated skin shaders specifically so darker tones would look nicer in their new lighting system!) It's things like this that make Golden's talk about Anduin being an example of nontoxic masculinity ring hollow. Only one of these games seems willing to engage with marginalized stories, with people who live outside of the strict roles we're assigned. The concept of "nontoxic masculinity" cannot exist if one is unwilling to engage with queerness. Allowing men to embrace more gentle behaviors also means not shaming anyone for being gay. Allowing men to do and be things that aren't the pinnacle of traditional masculinity means understanding and embracing that men can and will engage in more feminine behaviors or roles, and this doesn't diminish their gender identity. These concepts are linked.

(I know this is a very binary way of framing these concepts, but let me tell you, Blizz is NOT ready for that discussion.)

Warcraft has added gay characters or made some existing characters gay, but never anybody in the main cast, nothing that would get a major spotlight. Anduin could’ve been an easy solve for this, whether he started a relationship with Wrathion or someone else, it doesn’t matter! Having a major character in a game as large as World of Warcraft would've meant so much. Instead they hide their queer characters in secondary roles, in supplementary media, and made them into easter eggs in the game. Never major characters, never the focus of the story. Nothing they would, for example, show off at a major convention in 2023.

Moving away from talking about queerness for a moment, something that struck me watching the Whispers demo again is that DE isn't afraid to make their new character flawed. I don't want to say unlikable necessarily, because I did like Loid right away, but he's also rude to the established character traveling with us ("Resume your duties, construct!) and then dismissive of the player. He's supposed to wait for an "operator" to arrive at the labs, and thinks it's obviously not the player. By the end of the quest (which I'll talk about in a moment because yes it's relevant) Loid comes to accept that the player is the one he's meant to work with. When you level up the related faction in the full release, Loid eventually tells the player that his role was to care for Albrecht, and it would be his honor to extend that same service to the player. This arc is sweet and feels earned because Loid started so abrasive, the writers weren't afraid to make him abrasive, and even by the end I wouldn't say he's flawless. In fact, in the next update, Dante Unbound, DE has hinted that Loid will have to confront the established character he was rude to in Whispers. Loid feels like a person who's going through shit, in the way that people go through shit. Not with grace, but trying his best anyway.

I bring this up because one of the long standing issues with Anduin as a character, which has gotten worse as time goes on, is the unwillingness to give Anduin flaws. I wonder if this connects back to the point about the lack of specificity about his feelings or experiences in TWW trailer, why Thrall's simple "You are not your past" feels so strange, and why the trailer seems reluctant to acknowledge Anduin's anger as a problem. Anduin has, for a while, been positioned as a moral core for the game, the character who is primarily interested in peace for unselfish reasons. Part of the reason I enjoyed Anduin as a character in Mists was because, sometimes, he got to act like a shitty teenager. He'd be sarcastic or smarmy or do something objectively dumb, like run off to fight a major enemy of his nation on his own. This is especially true when interacting with Wrathion, which includes Anduin using the taunt "You're what, two years old?" To which Wrathion replies "Two in DRAGON years." It's very endearing! Look at these brats, they're believable teenage friends to me. Yes, Anduin is one of the few peace-seekers in the story, he tries so hard to be good and kind even to his enemies, but in moments like these he still feels like a person.

We could look at TWW and say Anduin is demonstrating anger issues, which would be interesting because, like in the example of almost breaking Anduin's arm, this was something Varian struggled with. Except it doesn't feel like the trailer recognizes this as a flaw. The moment goes by and is quickly forgotten. I can look at Loid in Whispers and I recognize where his bitterness comes from: he felt abandoned and so pushes others away. The one detail I did like in TWW trailer was the comparison between Thrall touching Anduin's shoulder, and Varian's ghost doing the same in the past. That moment felt like a trigger for Anduin, reminding him of that moment when he was so vulnerable, but also of his grief for his father. (Nevermind we had that story in Legion about Anduin coming to terms with his grief. Let's ignore that.) It's the most sincere moment of the trailer, but it doesn't follow through! As soon as the second vision dissipates, Anduin takes Thrall's hand and pledges to help. Why? Again, "because there's another big cosmic threat" isn't a good enough reason. What does he feel in this moment? Why did he change his mind now?

Nontoxic masculinity doesn't mean "flawless person". I would still say Loid is a good example of nontoxic masculinity, regardless of if or when he does engage in more toxic behaviors. I'd say as a character Loid is a better demonstration than Anduin of nontoxic masculinity because he's capable of self-reflection, realizing he did something bad, and correcting himself. One interpretation of events in the story of Whispers (because much of Warframe is open to interpretation) is that the local eldritch horror was feeding off of Loid's resentment towards Albrecht, and this was fueling its assault on the labs. Only in reminding Loid of Albrecht's feelings for him, specifically in a way Loid had been deliberately avoiding, can the player begin to take down the bad guy of the quest.

This is a great time to move to my last point about Whispers’ full story: the ending.

I know we can talk about ludonarrative dissonance about two games where the player regularly enacts mass murder and trying to square that with certain story themes. Listen. Hear me out.

In Warcraft, the solution to the final boss is always kill them. (Or arrest them in the case of Garrosh in Mists. In truth this was only a stay of execution). Part of this is the limit of always putting an expansion’s conclusion in a raid. There always needs to be a big fight in a specific kind of setting with specific player expectations. I wish Blizz played with this more; maybe we can only seal away the bad thing? Or maybe the goal is to hold something off while an NPC does a magical ritual that saves the day by some other method? I’m sure there are possible, creative solutions other than “hit bad guy (or his toes if he’s big) until bad guy falls over”.

How does the player save the day in Whispers in the Walls? I’m going to cover this in detail because it’s one of my favorite moments in the whole game.

You spend much of the quest fighting off The Murmur, constructs summoned by the local eldritch horror, called the Indifference (among many other names[4]) which is trying to break into the labs the quest takes place in. The final encounter, the story's climax, has the Indifference possesses a Vessel, one of many unfinished biomechanical giants Albrecht created and left scattered around his lab. The evil Vessel moves in to attack the player, who then possesses a Vessel themself.

The player’s Vessel holds up a hand, and we see a button prompt.

I'm stealing a point from another Tumblr user because it's great. Go read their post and the replies if you're curious about this particular moment!

This button prompt isn’t unusual. There aren’t many quick time events in Warframe, they're not a part of regular run and gun gameplay, but they do appear. If you’re like me, you’ve gone into the accessibility options and toggled button mashing off because wrists hurt. This prompt isn’t unusual to see for me.

But if you didn't use that accessibility toggle, you'll still get this specific prompt. It will be unusual that you're being asked to hold to interact with the scene, rather than the usual smash a button to make thing happen.

So you hold the button, the player’s Vessel reaches out, and when I first played I got excited because I think I’m powering up a big blast to destroy the enemy Vessel!

Then this happens:

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I encourage everyone who can to watch the video for the full effect, but I’ll still describe it here:

The background music is ominous, and as you hold the button there's a heartbeat sound. The player's Vessel slowly reaches toward the enemy Vessel. When then the prompt button disappears, the scene goes quiet. The player Vessel gently holds the enemy Vessel's face, mirroring how Albrecht did to Loid at the beginning of the quest. As the music changes to a calming vocal track, we see the enemy Vessel's face change, drop from aggressive to lonely longing. The camera backs away as the two Vessels slow to a stop, posed to echo that "memory of love". The camera switches to Loid, who holds a hand to his own cheek, then looks back at the Vessels. He understands the connection too.

This kind of thing isn’t unheard of for Warframe either! I'll keep additional spoilers to a minimum, but a previous main story quest, The Sacrifice, has similar themes. In fact, my favorite moment from that quest involves a monologue by a major villain about how he is literally unable to comprehend the idea of empathy or compassion. He doesn’t understand why the player character, in a moment of vulnerability and understanding, is able to do what he couldn’t, with all of his violence and brutality.

“And it was not their force of will - not their Void devilry - not their alien darkness. It was something else. It was that somehow, from within the derelict-horror, they had learned a way to see inside an ugly, broken thing —

— and take away its pain.” [5]

In a story where the primary antagonist is a mysterious entity called “The Indifference” we don’t defeat it with force. With hate. What’s the opposite of Indifference?

It’s old man yaoi love. We defeat Indifference with love.

I don’t feel like I was cheated out of a cool moment. I suspect some people did. It’s not like Whispers didn’t have cool moments! I’m not even going to argue that this moment was uncool, just that it brought up different and unexpected emotions in me! It was an interesting and affecting twist on how we expect these encounters to go. It’s moments like these that tell me that Warframe's writers, for all their flaws, are putting genuine thought and emotion into their game. They’re thinking about characters and themes, trying to follow them through even with the scattershot way that video game design demands writers work.

Writing this description reminds me of a moment in Shadowlands, the expansion that traumatized Anduin. It takes place in (surprise!) the Shadowlands, the afterlife of Warcraft’s universe. Thrall, the second character we see in the TWW trailer, meets his mother in Shadowlands. She died when he was a baby, and now that he meets her in these weird circumstances, they begin to create the bond they couldn’t have before. In particular I found this conversation they have touching. A mother who didn't get to know her son, and a son who never knew his mother, finally get to connect. “I knew who you were the moment I saw you,” Draka tells him, “Do you really think I would not recognize Durotan's eyes?"

“Come, I wish to know more of your life, all of it,” she says to him, sounding tired.

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It’s such a sweet moment, and bonus points for focusing on Draka, a woman who was functionally fridged prior, who now gets to be a character with personality and (some) agency in Shadowlands. It’s such a perfect demonstration of everything that could’ve been interesting in Shadowlands, what was and is interesting in Warcraft’s story, and what’s so often set aside or overlooked. Can they continue to have a relationship when the current conflict is over? Questions like this are interesting, but Shadowlands doesn’t engage with them at all, and it's poorer for it.

In Warcraft, trauma is aesthetic. Pain is aesthetic. It doesn’t matter what caused Anduin’s suffering in TWW trailer, all that’s important is that we know he’s suffering. We know he's important because he’s a main character and he’s sad about something. But, like, not sad in a way that would make him cry. That part is critical because we all know boys don't cry, right? That bias feels implicit in much of Warcraft's emotional moments. How much more touching would Thrall and Draka's reunion be if Thrall was allowed to cry at finally getting to meet his mom?

Loid does cry, at the beginning of Whispers' quest and during the story of the faction associated with the update. His emotions, and thus his story, feel more genuine and engaging for allowing him that vulnerability.

Warframe wants to engage with specific traumas, how they can make us bitter towards others, perpetuate our own and others’ pain. The point of pain is to understand it, because in understanding, that pain can be taken away. Warcraft has no interest in taking away pain, and it has no interest in understanding it. It’s not about emotional connection, because that requires a vulnerability and a capacity to self-reflect that Warcraft has no interest or courage to engage with. Pain is aesthetic.

Whispers is setting up a longer story arc for Warframe. At the time Whispers was revealed, Warframe was celebrating its 10th anniversary, and the previous main story quest wrapped up the storyline the game told from its release. In this way, Whispers is again an interesting comparison to Warcraft’s The War Within. TWW is also meant to be the start of a new story arc that will last several expansions. I know which story I’m excited about, and which one I feel nothing for.

Loid was a character I met for the first time last year, he immediately felt like a person, and I was emotionally invested. As a player I so badly want Albrecht to finally say the words Loid needed to hear. Anduin Wrynn is someone I’ve known for years, but is now a cardboard cutout. I don't feel compelled to follow his story because... what could it be? Warcraft doesn't seem interested in any conclusion or goal for him. He just is.

I have a lot of complicated emotions about World of Warcraft, as a game and as an influential piece of media. I played the game for many years, and it was an important part of my life. In many ways I’d say it's still a part of me, even after I stopped playing the game itself. Part of writing this essay was following up on some thoughts I shared with friends on BluSky, but part of it feels like exorcising a demon, or bleeding out poison. Part of me grieves for Warcraft, what it meant to me and what I thought it could have been. In Warframe though, I've found a place of comfort and compassion. In between all the space ninja nonsense and vast quantities of horrific violence the player commits, Warframe offers growth, and a way to let go of what hurts us.

—

I'll take a moment and shout out an excellent video essay by Shaun on Youtube called Andrew Tate: How to be a Real Man. It's a great resource for a more general discussion of masculinity in the real world. The video is a criticism of Tate and his approach, why it appeals to some men, and further dissects what masculinity means, and what nontoxic masculinity means. (Is it an inbox full of pictures of Aragorn?) It's a good dissection of masculinity as a concept, and one I'd recommend if you're curious about the topic of toxic/nontoxic or negative/positive masculinity.

—

Yes not only do I have my paragraph long asides I've now also added footnotes. This isn't a peer reviewed journal, you're not my mom, I do what I want!

[1] One of Warframe’s major quests is also called “The War Within” which might be confusing to a reader who knows Warframe. Don’t worry about it, I’m talking exclusively about the upcoming Warcraft expansion here.

[2] For bonus points, if you haven't played Warframe, go to 20:55 on the demo video. You'll see a logo and release date for Whispers In The Walls, hear the live crowd cheer, and the creative director will start to speak... until she's interrupted by something in the game. What you see and hear next is almost exactly as it is in the final release, including the music, minus an extra line of exposition from Loid. This wasn't just a stunt for the convention. I fucking LOVE Warframe.

[3] To be honest this is part of a personal measurement I use to gauge how queer friendly a work is: if they have queer women do they also have queer men? A good example of why I use this is Mass Effect. That franchise always had queer women and an option for lesbian romance, but only in Mass Effect 3 did they add one (1) queer option for a masculine Shepherd. I am a (nonbinary) lesbian so on the one hand I don’t want to dismiss all queer women in media as “pandering” and queer men as “valid”. It’s more of a guideline to estimate how willing a piece of media/creator is to transgress heterosexual norms. Depicting men who love men is seen as more transgressive than two women in love by the gaming community at large. The reasons for this are complicated and they all suck.

[4] hey kiddo

[5] I wanted to avoid spoilers for other Warframe story quests, but The Sacrifice is, again, an interesting point of comparison for Anduin's story. The Sacrifice is, largely, about a character coming to terms with his grief over the death of his son. If you see the whole video I link there, you'll see the player presented with three options: Wrath (We use this memory. It fuels our wrath), Acceptance (We accept this memory and move beyond its reach), and Emptiness (We return this memory to the Void and find peace in our emptiness.) I just wish Anduin's grief over Varian was, at any point, treated with this level of nuance and care.

#kay writes things #warframe #warcraft #anduin wrynn #loid #i'm a little hesitant to tag this #since i could get some real negative attention based on what i've discussed #and the nastier parts of both fandoms #whatever i wrote thousands of words i'll share it #for me and my friends and i guess the rest of you can read it too

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cow-rants · 6 months ago

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Fair warning: this post is in regards to the recent Assassin’s Creed: Shadows trailer. I will talk about my thoughts and feelings regarding race. Thank you.

I’ve been a massive fan of Assassin’s creed (AC) since I first saw my uncle playing it at 7 or 8 years old. I’m a massive history buff and the idea of being able to experience the past through the eyes of an ancestor is such a brilliant idea. Not mention the concept of a secret war being fought through out the centuries is always fun. But as of late, I haven’t been really excited for a new entry. Odyssey was the last game I really played and it was alright, but I’m personally not a huge fan of the new RPG mechanics (although I do understand why they were implemented).

Valhalla looked interesting, but didn’t really feel like an AC game to me. So I put it on my “to play later” list. Mirage looked far better and I definitely do want to play it, but I honestly just haven’t felt a super big pull to pick it up. But when I saw that AC was finally going to Japan, I was ecstatic. I adore Japanese history in general and the Sengoku period is full of interesting conflicts and characters that would fit perfectly with the assassin’s and the templars.

Although they went with some pretty standard people to showcase, such as Oda Nobunaga, I still think they have a chance to do something really interesting story wise (of course, reserve all real judgement for the gameplay reveal. But I’m mainly just talking about the story). Especially with the portrayal of Yasuke. From what I could tell, it seems like his story will be one of disillusionment, possibly betrayal, and redemption. Certainly a story we’ve seen before, but it’s still interesting to see Yasuke in something as big as AC.

Before I get into the more unfortunate discourse regarding Yasuke, I absolutely have to talk about Naoe. See, what caught my eye about her was how she and my OWN AC OC have very similar stories. Well, I don’t know for sure. But they certainly share a similar experience, which is watching their families be butchered by Oda Nobunaga’s armies. It’s not much, but by the gods does it make me pretty happy. My OC’s name is Minori Kishimoto and she’s one of my favorites, so seeing a canon character with some similar traits is kind of exciting for me (okay, very exciting).

Anyhow, back to Yasuke. As soon as I saw the trailer, I knew I was going to see people saying something stupid. So I checked both the comments on the video and twitter. And I was certainly not mistaken. So so so many bad takes and ridiculous arguments that, honestly, only go to show either mild racism or straight up hatred toward African people. Not to mention the fact that they completely ignore Naoe as a protagonist. I guess she must be the greatest assassin of all time.

From what I understand, a lot of people are upset that for a Japan centered AC game, there is a black protagonist. Which, again, ignores Naoe entirely. The biggest argument I have heared against Yasuke being one of the protagonists is that he wasn’t actually a samurai. To which I say: False. Incorrect. Mistaken. Wrong. Factually incorrect.

The primary issue here is the fact that many people refer to him as a retainer. A title that he never officially held, as far as I’m aware, but even so that still makes him Samurai! Looking just at the facts of his life, he was respected by arguably the most powerful Daimyo of that time, earned his trust, received a pension, received a sword, and received property. So then the question becomes: what exactly makes a person a samurai at this time? Because I can tell you one thing, it isn’t noble blood.

A peasant man was once hired by Nobunaga to do a multitude of tasks, one of which was to hold his sandals. This man would soon prove himself to be capable of all of his tasks as well as in the art of war. He would become a powerful man and rise through the ranks until he held the rank of Taiko at the end of his life . That man was Toyotomi Hideyoshi.

If Hideyoshi’s story proves one thing, it’s that at this time anyone could rise to become a daimyo. So then, why wouldn’t Yasuke also be considered a samurai? We’re not even trying to claim he was a daimyo, just that he was a samurai. Retainer, bodyguard, slave, whatever. The fact is that the man was 10000% a samurai and was a respected one at that. To claim otherwise is to prove yourself ignorant in the history you claim to be proficient in, and incompetent at backing up your argument.

Not to mention that from a writing point of view, it’s a brilliant move. Yasuke was not super well recorded and thus is relatively unknown to others. Which makes him perfect for being a:

1. Fish out of water character

2. Real person, that can be treated written like a fictional one

All of this to say, I think that this newest Assassin’s Creed has a chance to become one of my personal favorites. As well as putting the series back on the map for many. But, with no gameplay and an already worrying pre-order package, I’m worried to say the least. Only time will tell, but I look forward to it.

#assassin's creed #assassin’s creed shadows #video games #ac yasuke #AC Naoe #rant post

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 17 days ago

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Review of Dragon Age the Veilguard

First off, right off the bat, I’m putting out there I am foremost a story person. Give me a good story and I’m happy. Then it’s graphics, gameplay (by which I mean do I think it is very replayable), then combat.

So positives first for me:

Story: I love the story. It’s a little cliche and a bit silly but it’s so much fun. Besides it’s not like Dragon Age has ever not been a bit cliche. Secret bastard son of the king saving his homeland. Frosty witch with a secret sensitive side. Assassin who wants out. These were in the FIRST game. I very much enjoyed it and the lore we were given. I actually went ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ out loud multiple times and had a blast through the whole thing. I actually dropped my controller in shock during the final battles because of several moments.

I’ve seen complaints about the writing being ‘MCU’ but honestly I just recently replayed the first three, and this is the same to me. It’s actually better to me then Inquisition which I found so boring. No really, Inquisition was the weakest to me character and writing wise. It felt so flat but Veilguard brings back the spark that Origins and DA2 had. This sort of ‘we need to get people together and save the world despite the odds’ spark.

Characters: I love every single one of them and am already starting more playthroughs so I can ROMANCE THEM ALL. Some may not be your cup of tea but honestly a lot of the hate I notice tends to be the weird feminist ‘you have to be serious’ tone, the ‘I don’t like anything cheery’ type, transphobes or racists. The actual critical takes I find tend to veer on the usual bullshit of the writers in general. (Such as Taash apparently having to choose between two cultures and how their gender is handled. Which fair. I love their gender storyline but it isn’t the greatest story)

The characters are very dynamic and fun to get to know. I didn’t care about Harding in Inquisition but I love her here. It’s just so much fun.

Character Creator: This is honestly the best one I’ve seen yet. I know everyone loved BG3 and how they do it but Veilguard BLOWS it out of the water. Just so many options and things to do.

Plus as a side note you can choose to be nonbinary or trans and it has an affect. It is so cool. I loved my Rook talking about their gender.

Combat: Oh man this is weird for me but I love this combat. Let’s be real- tactical stuff in the past games were clunky and off. A lot of Origin purists say DAO was the best but who ACTUALLY used half the stuff? Like traps? Maybe a fair few but the majority didn’t. The whole series so far had been button mashing for me. Here? Nope! It’s a lot more complex for me and makes me actually think. I love it.

Puzzles: One person I saw said they were to simple. My response is that the early ones were but they sure ain’t later on. Took me forty minutes to figure out one. It’s awesome.

Gameplay: FUN! Just everything about it is so nice and I love it. It’s not annoying to do, it’s simple once you get used to it and honestly I like how the missions are set up. I do think it is very replayable as a whole.

The Ending: I FUCKING LOVE THE ENDING IT IS SO DAMN COOL. I dropped my controller during it, I gasped, I cheered (totally guessed one plot twist but DAMN did not expect the very end) and HOLY SHIT it was SO GOOD.

Now the negatives.

Story: There’s a lot of sanitization of the Crows. The Crows are canonly assassins who buy a lot of their recruits and brutally train them to become Crows. It is not nice unless maybe your family are Crows and you’re treated nicely. Even then, Lucanis canonly was beaten by his grandmother during training and other things.

Also, I did not like how my Rook Laidir suddenly talked about being a galley slave. It was confusing as that was never brought up before. If they’d included it in the description it would have been better. So I’m headcanoning something different for Andy Laidir. I think this is just an over sight, but it is off putting for me that it’s suddenly said once then vanishes.

There's also a few things with how story progression goes. It feels a bit to fast in some moments, and to slow in others. I think that they had to many ideas, but I'll talk about that in the factions section.

Characters: While I love their story line I think Taash could have done better if there was less ‘choose between being Rivaini or Qunari’. Like having a disconnect from your culture is understandable but I felt it was to… ‘you must conform or reject’. That’s not how it goes.

As well the discussion of gender was fairly Western specific which isn’t true across all cultures. It would have been interesting to explore it more and with Taash also wondering about the Qunari version of gender as why they don’t feel right.

I’m also semi kinda upset with how Davrin kept getting the same ‘intro’ scene to his quests a bit. Just him carving something. It was recycled to me and compared to the others… kinda felt off.

Also, while I love him, Lucanis' romance isn't my favourite. It's very slow burn and while nice, I felt that it was to much of a slow burn in the end, where it's just them kissing and a few words of love. I haven't been spoiled about the others too much, but he feels very lacklustre. But it might just be me there. I will defend it saying it isn't bad, but for me? Not my cup of tea.

I'm also disapointed with Isabela's cameo. While YES WE SEE HER, I do romance her with Hawke often and I can't believe any of my Hawkes who did (and lived) are't with her causing chaos. Plus for fuck sakes she gets some generic outfit but Morrigan gets a super special one? Really?

Combat: While I love it, I think they made the dragons to OP. It’s really hard to get close and fight them. Of course I am not a combat person so it may just be I’m bad at it. I do think some of the 'being shoved backward' moments could have been done better as well.

Gameplay: Okay so… I think the choice to have Varric narrate things wasn’t ‘bad’ but they really went to spoiler filled in some. Like dude, don’t SAY that?!? I don’t get to eagerly wait in suspense now, I know what’s going on. That’s not fun. Boo!

Also the animations for opening chests was annoying.

Factions: I feel this is another kinda let down. I truly believe the only four that mattered were Veil Jumpers, Shadow Dragons, Crows and Grey Wardens. Plus I felt again a lot of this is sanitized. The Crows are not a good organization. Sure they basically are the Antivan military but they’re assassins who buy their recruits half the time. Lords of Fortune are pirates and treasure hunters. They're not 'good' people.

This really ties into my thoughts on progression: we could have done away with the Lords and the Mourn Watch to focus only on the four factions and it would have been amazing. Probably would have had better pacing for the plot to. While it was so cool to see these places, in the end it would haven't taken away from the main plot by just not having them be around.

However- despite my negatives, and despite my issues?

This game is a solid 8.7/10. It was truly 9.5/10 for most of the game, but by the end, I did find that I was a bit dissatisfied with some things. However, the game is genuinely amazing. It's a call back to the original 'rag-tag bunch of losers go and save the day' and has elements of Mass Effect 2 I adore.

Solid game, if you loved Origins, DA2 and even some elements of Inquisition, go for it. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it sure as hell is mine.

#dragon age #dragon age the veilguard #datv spoilers

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strawberryraviegutz · 4 months ago

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I feel like this needs to be said but..Am I the only one getting annoyed with the “Ame Chan is a bad person/problematic” discourse?? I’m not just talking about the ppl who’ve been complaining about her character saying they “didn’t realize how awful she was”. I’m also talking about ppl being like “lmao yall clearly didn’t play the game of course she’s a horrible person you’re just now realizing that??”

You don’t necessarily have to play a game to be a fan of it. It’s pretty common for ppl to watch gameplay videos or videos covering the story of/analyzing games and characters if they can’t or don’t wanna play it. Second I dont think we should just look at Ame through a black and white lense. Ame’s not a horrible person but she’s not necessarily good either. She’s a very VERY flawed person who struggles with mental health issues and addiction and makes rlly bad decisions and says rlly mean/bad things.

But that’s like…literally everyone on earth. Everyone has flaws especially mentally ill ppl, nobody’s perfect. It’s implied that Ame was literally abandoned/disowned by her parents so of course she’s not going to make the best decision with a “stable” mind especially if you’re desperate.

Ame Chan does terrible things/decisions like taking drugs on stream and self harming on stream and I think she even killed herself on stream too in one ending(tho feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) which is obviously irresponsible and dangerous. And she says things that aren’t necessarily nice or the best(some of it is warranted since some of the ppl in her chat were saying rlly awful, gross and even misogynistic things and calling her “old”).

And while she only wanted to be kangel for attention online, it’s kinda possible that she’s been able to have positive impacts on her fans/audience. We’ve seen how she is with the younger side of her fanbase as Kangel. She’s very kind and compassionate and overall very sweet towards them. Kangel’s entire persona is revolved around reaching out to lonley ppl online who’re struggling and to make them happy.

She may be doing it only for money snd attention, but like most ppl who struggle with mental health issues, they sometimes don’t realize the positive impacts they’ve had on the ppl around them. Hell maybe deep down Ame made Kangel to also help reach out to ppl like her online and make them happy too.

And as for the whole shotacon accusations, Ame Chan is NOT a shotacon. It was a very bad translation error and we all know that most translators aren’t always reliable(especially Google Translate) so please stop spreading that around. It’s been debunked already.

Maybe I’m biased because while I don’t have BPD(at least I don’t think so), have never taken drugs, nor have I ever cut myself in like a very VERY long time(tho I never left any scars cuz i didn’t like pain)and have an anxiety disorder and am autistic, I still sorta relate to/kin Ame Chan.

I’ve had my moments where I’ve had emotional and or violent outbursts(not where I’ve beat someone up or broke anything)due to a rush of emotion and or getting real worked up/frustrated online and irl.

And it’s always rubbed me the wrong way when I’ve been seeing ppl trying to put Ame into the box of “bad/problematic person” whether you’re trying to defend her character or not. It’s a lot more complex and morally grey than that and I think characters like her being in media are important to lessen the stigma of mental health whether it be in Japan or worldwide.

Feel free to correct me and fill me in on stuff if I missed anything or left anything out but in conclusion, Ame Chan is a not a good person, but she’s not necessarily a monster and or all bad either and I think ppl on both sides should realize that.

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namjoon-koya · 2 years ago

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Chapter One: A new hope.

Summary: You grew up on Mandalore with your adoptive parent, you accepted the creed and lived the way as a Mandalorian as your buir taught you. Until the Great Purged happened that night you witnessed your entire home being destroyed, your buir laid down their life to save yours. You managed to get away from Mandalore and you wandered alone for a few years until you met Cere and Greez, Cere told you her plan about rebuilding the jedi order and taking down the empire. You wanted to avenge your family, your home so you agreed to help them. The last thing you expected was to fall for a jedi and follow him wherever he went.

Pairing: Cal Kestis X Mandalorian fem!reader. (I won’t be using Y/N as I will be mostly using you or she/her pronouns.)

Word count: 4.7k

Author notes: I’ve played through Jedi: The Fallen Order and wanted to write a series for it, hope you guys enjoy it! This series will follow the gameplay (with a few different dialogues so the whole reader fits in)

Warnings: violence, language, mentions of injuries.

You took the rag that was on the table and began to clean your blaster, you looked over at Greez who was currently cooking dinner for you and Cere. Greez would always cook whenever a big job was coming up, you assumed it was to calm his nerves about going headfirst into a fight with the empire. You couldn’t blame him though the empire has destroyed everything they deemed a threat to their empire, you still remember those di’kut coming to Mandalore and murdering anyone in their sight.

“Buir! We must go!” you shout as you go to grab their arm, even while you were never allowed to remove your helmet. Your Buir knew you were afraid; they couldn’t blame you though you were still only a foundling. “You have to be brave now adiik, you must run and get away from Mandalore.” “What about you?” Your buir didn’t answer you instead they gently bumped their forehead against yours, “This is the way.”

“Hey kid!” Greez’s voice was quick to snap you out of your memory “Yes Greez?” You said as you went back to cleaning your blaster, “I’ll leave your plate here so you can eat later.” You nodded; you never took off your helmet even after Mandalore. Even when you met Cere and Greez you told them it was part of your creed and it was the one thing that you were still able to hold onto, Cere understood and thankfully so did Greez. “We’re approaching Bracca.” You heard Cere’s voice from the cockpit, you place your blaster in your holster and move over to where Cere was.

“Remember we’re here to find a Jedi named Cal Kestis” She said informing Greez and you, “and what makes you so sure he’s special?” You asked Cere she gives you a small smile “You do believe in hope, right?” She asked, you were glad for your helmet because she would’ve seen the doubt on your face when she asked you that. You haven’t believed in hope ever since the Great Purge on Mandalore, you didn’t want to get your hopes up only to lose it again like you did when you were alone. As you were lost in your thoughts you heard a loud sound erupt from outside.

You quickly look out the window and noticed a few empire starfighters “Shit! Cere they must’ve found him!” You shout, “Look there!” Cere shouts, you look and see a starfighter getting ready to blast at someone, Greez was quick to shoot at the starfighter you rush to the opening of the ship and press the door open “Hey what are you doing?!” Greez shouts, you decide to ignore him. As the ship door opens you saw him quickly look over at you, “keep moving!” You shout at him.

“And who are you?” You roll your eyes, was this really the time to be asking that? “Just keep moving forward! We’ll find a place to get you on the ship!” He only nodded and Greez pulled away quickly, “another starfighter is after us!” He shouts as he flies the Mantis away quickly, you place your hand on the wall to keep you from falling.

“Shit! They shot the train! Get ready to help Cal!” Cere shouts, you nod. Greez positions the Mantis and you watch as Cal comes sliding down the train, you hold your hand out “You have to jump!” You shout and Cal did what you said, but he was barely able to grab onto the edge of the platform. “Hold on!” You shout as you try sliding towards Cal as he’s about to reach for your hand a sudden blast hits the mantis, “Fuck!” You shout as Cal’s hand slips making him fall. “Cere he’s falling!” You shout “Greez try following him!” Greez nodded and tried following Cal, shit you didn’t think he would survive a fall like that. You’d be surprised if he did “He’ll be fine, relax.” You heard Cere say from the cockpit, even with your helmet on Cere often could read your emotions.

“I see him, get the door ready.” Greez says, when you look out the window you see Cal fighting against an inquisitor. You knew it was the second sister you rushed towards the door and open it; you see Cal on the ground rubbing his head “Get on!” You shout getting his attention, Cal was quick to get on his feet and limp his way over to the Mantis. That’s when you saw her the second sister with her red lightsaber glowing, she tilts her head to the side as she stares at you. “Funny I thought Mandalorians were extinct, I guess the empire didn’t wipe all of you out.” You didn’t say anything, instead you pushed Cal inside and pulled out your blaster and began to shoot at her.

She managed to dodge it and even use her lightsaber to deflect them back to you, you weren’t worried about it hitting you. Your armor protected you well enough, but when you saw her running towards the Mantis you knew she wanted to strike you down with her lightsaber. You press a button to get the door to close “Cere, Greez! We have to leave now!” You shout, as she gets close the door finally closes protecting you from her lightsaber. You and Cal rush to the front and see the second sister jump on the ship, she tried getting control of the ship. The mantis starts to spin around you hold onto anything, so you didn’t end up falling. Cere was quick to help Greez get control back on the ship making the second sister fall off from the mantis, Greez quickly sent the four of you into hyperspace and away from Bracca.

You let out a sigh of relief as you go sit down, “okay, shut that thing off and grab a seat.” You hear Greez say from the cockpit, Cal shut off his lightsaber “thanks for the help, but who are you people?” Cal asked as he and Cere joined you, “My name is Cere Junda, and this is my captain Greez Dritus.” Cal looked over at you waiting for you to introduce yourself, you crossed your arms and only stared at him back. Cere cleared her throat “She’s a close friend of mine, she’s a Mandalorian.” Cere said and Cal only managed a small nod “Who was that back there?” he asked Cere, “An imperial inquisitor she’s a force user hunting down Jedi survivors and now that she knows who you are, she will not stop until she destroys you.”

“How do you know so much?” Cal asked, “And why’d you help me?” Cere stared at Greez and you “We track imperial communications; we heard the inquisitors were heading to Bracca so we made our move.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s the bounty on Jedi these days anyway?” Cal said as he crossed his arms, “Hey di’kut you’re allowed to leave anytime nobody is stopping you.” You said to him, Cere and Greez risked their lives to save him and that’s the thanks he has for them? You didn’t want to listen to their conversation anymore, you decided to get up and leave to your room. As you close the door you finally take off your helmet Maker you were exhausted from today, you lay in your bed and slowly began to close your eyes.

“Adiik?” You open your eyes and see your buir near the door “Buir? You’re home late.” You said rubbing your eyes, they nod “I was in a meeting with the others, we were discussing the ceremony for you to accept the creed.” Your buir saw the way your eyes light up in excitement, they chuckled “are you excited?” “Yup! That way I can finally go with you to different planets! I want to see different parts of the galaxy.” You didn’t know that the incoming days would be the last with your buir, you wished that the both of you weren’t on Mandalore when the Great Purge happened.

You suddenly woke up when you heard a soft knock at your door, you quickly put on your helmet and walked over to your door to open it. When you did you saw Cal standing there, he awkwardly rubbed the back on his neck “Cere is calling for us.” “I’ll be there.” Cal continues to stand there, before you could ask him what’s wrong, he quickly apologizes to you “Listen, I’m sorry about before… I was just being caution.” You sighed “Cal don’t worry about it I understand, trust me Mandalorian beskar goes for a high price too.” He smiles “we should get going before Cere becomes inpatient.”

You follow Cal out and see Cere standing near the hologram “You two are finally up.” She said looking at Cal and you, you already knew she smiling at the sight of seeing you and Cal getting along. “We’ll be landing in Bogano, I’m sure you remember it right?” she asked you “Oh how could I forget the adorable bonglings.” You say to Cere, “You thought those things were cute?” Greez asked, “Hey don’t be jealous just because one of them let me touch it while they kept running away from you.” You teased Greez grumbles and Cere just chuckles, as Greez lands the ship you follow Cere and Cal outside.

“A Jedi I knew discovered this place before the Purge, you won’t find it on any maps.” Cere explained. “The empire doesn’t know this place exist?” “No.” “So what’s the plan...We hide out here?” Cal asked. “We’re done hiding Cal. See that structure over there?” She pointed towards a direction where it seemed to be a tall tower, “I believe that vault holds the key to rebuilding the Jedi order, but it requires someone strong in the force to pass its test.” Cere said to Cal, “and since you’re not a Jedi anymore that’s why you need me.” “I know you don’t trust me and I’m not really sure I trust you, but we have a common enemy and a common cause I’ll share more of plan after you reach the Vault, but until then there’s someone here, I think you should meet.” Cere begins to walk towards the Mantis “May the force be with you both.” When Cere said that you quickly looked over at her, she wanted you to go with Cal? Before you could even ask her, she was already inside the Mantis, “Guess we’re looking for a Jedi then?” he asked you.

You could only tilt your head “I’m assuming so, but I can’t entire the vault with you.” Cal only nods “Then I hope you can keep up.” He teases. You rolled your eyes as you start following him, you noticed a few bonglings jumping from one hole to another. “Have you been here before?” he asked, “Yeah, but I’ve never ventured far it was only Cere.” You hear Cal hum in response, as you follow Cal he comes to a stop “This looks like a safe space to meditate.” You didn’t respond you watched as he sits down on the ground and closes his eyes, you made sure to remain quite as you didn’t want to disturb him.

Suddenly though you heard a small noise coming from somewhere, you placed your hand on your blaster getting ready to protect Cal until a small droid jumped down in front of you almost startling you a bit. “Maker you scared me little guy.” You said taking your hand away from your blaster and placing it on your hip, the small droid beeped again and looked at Cal. He was still meditating “he’s a little busy just give him a few minutes.” You say to the little droid he places himself in front of Cal patiently waiting for him, you hear Cal suddenly let out a sigh before looking down at the droid in front of him “Hey, BD-1 I’m Cal.” BD-1 responses back to him, “uhm yeah I’m okay, we’re just looking for someone.” BD-1 beeps again “No, not you. We’re searching for a Jedi or something like that.” Suddenly BD-1 jumps in excitement almost like BD-1 is telling you both to follow.

“Hold on, you know the Jedi? What do you know?” BD-1 doesn’t explain instead telling you both to follow again “wait! Hold on.” You watch as BD-1 slices a platform allowing a small bridge to pull out making it easier for Cal and you to climb the vines “maybe BD-1 could lead us to the vault?” You asked as you follow Cal “Hopefully it would make it easier to get there.” You hummed in agreement, as the both of you follow BD you noticed BD going into a cave-like home. You suddenly saw a creature attacking one of the bonglings BD quickly rushed to save it, but the creature only ended up attacking BD in the process. “Hold on BD-1, I’m coming.” Cal says as he lets go out the pole and rushing the creature with his lightsaber.

As Cal took care of the creatures you picked up BD-1 and examined him “Shit Cal?” “What’s up?” you showed Cal the damage that happened to BD-1, “That was pretty brave of you to protect the bongling.” Cal said to BD-1, BD sadly beeped back at Cal “wait I think I can fix him.” You tilt your head as you follow Cal, he uses the force to slow down a giant fan-like object. As you follow Cal inside you see a workbench, “Here give me BD.” You gently pass BD to Cal and that’s when Cal gets to work on fixing BD’s leg, “okay how’s that?” BD jumps on one leg to the other to test it out, he beeps happily at Cal before beeping at you.

“Nice job.” You said nudging gently at Cal’s shoulder. “Hm, I didn’t expect to get a compliment from a Mandalorian.” Cal said smirking at you. “Don’t get used to it.” As you and Cal start to find your way out of the cave you saw an area that looked like it leads outside, “Oh hey you found a way out.” Cal took out his lightsaber and was getting ready to cut the wires away, you barely noticed that it was electrocuted “Wait Cal!” it was too late to warn him, Cal flies backwards as his lightsaber connects with the wires. “Dank farrik!” you rush to Cal and gently help him sit up “I’m alright.” Cal said letting out a painful groan “No you’re not, Cal that could’ve killed you.” You’re not sure what you could give Cal for his pain, you forgot to bring your bacta.

You heard BD-1 let out a beep as he rushed to your side and Cal’s suddenly BD-1 popped something out “a healing stim?’ BD beeped happily “Nice BD.” You gently patted his head, Cal used the stim “that’s better, thanks little droid.” Cal said as he starts getting up “Okay, let’s try this again.” Cal goes to cut the wires again until he felt a tug on his leg, “Cal it looks like someone’s attached to you.” You said gently nudging his side “okay then, hop on board.” Cal said placing BD on his shoulders, “so how’d you get here?” Cal asked BD, BD responded “Don’t remember? I’ve never known a forgetful droid.” BD responded back “Well I can’t argue with that.”

As you followed Cal out you noticed at times, he would spot an area and hold out his hand, it confused you was there something that you didn’t, “Cal?” “Yeah?” “Do you see something I don’t?” You asked, Cal came to stop. “I can feel the force, it’s almost like an echo if that makes sense. It’s almost like I can read someone’s stories and emotions through it.” You titled your head “Can every Jedi do that?” You asked, “I’m not sure, I think it’s rare I was just born with it I guess.” You hum.

“That’s neat.” “Is it?” “You can connect to someone’s story; I think that’s neat.” You said to him, “I thought you told me not to get used to getting compliments from you.” You were about to make a remark at him back, until you saw how close you two were getting to the vault. “Here I think we just have to zipline down.” Cal said, you nodded in agreement “I’ll go first.” You waited your turn as Cal zipped line down to a cliff, you followed after. As you got to the cliff BD let out a few chirps, “I don’t think we can go that way BD.” Cal said to him, “I think I can get to that cliff using my jetpack, but I’m not sure if I would be able to carry you.” You told Cal.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll find my way up there. I’ll meet you there?” You were hesitating about it, Cere told you both to stick together, but Cal did have a lightsaber and BD with him. “Okay be careful.” You told him “Are you starting to warm up to me? I feel safer now being on good terms with a Mandalorian.” Cal teased again “CAL!” You got ready to punch his shoulder, but Cal quickly jumped down dodging your attack. You sighed as you flew onto the edge of the cliff, as you slowly walked towards the vault you realized it didn’t have an opening.

“How the heck is Cal going to get inside?” You mumbled. You decided to take off your helmet, Cal wasn’t here, and you were positive nobody was here besides you guys. The wind felt nice and so did the sun against your skin, as you looked out you started to realize how peaceful Bogano was besides the creatures who resided on Bogano. Maybe that’s why cordova decided to live here? You wondered what you would’ve been doing now if the empire didn’t take over, would you have traveled the universe to different planets or stayed on Mandalore? You heard a sudden noise and quickly you put on your helmet, that’s when you saw Cal and BD. “Hey! How’d it go?’ you asked as BD and Cal jogged up to you, “I… actually reconnected with the force.”

“Cal, what do you mean?” You three made your way to the vault as Cal started to explain to you what he meant, “after the purge and… the death of my master I lost my connection with the force, so I forgot a few of my training. Somehow, I was able to reconnect to the force and I picked up a trick.” Before you could ask what, he remembered the three of you were finally at the top of the vault. Cal placed his hand on what seemed to be a gold-like wall, you watched as he closed his eyes almost like he was focusing on it. Suddenly you saw the wall slide up, both you and Cal looked at each other.

“I should probably stay out here.” You told him, he only nodded “Be careful in there.” “You too.” You watched as Cal disappear inside the vault, as you patiently wait for Cal you noticed something moving in the water in front of the vault. You decided to go see what it was, you knew there were creatures on Bogano. Yet you haven’t encountered much of them or had to shoot at one, as you got closer a large creature emerged from the water and it did not look friendly at all. “Shit!” you shouted as you dodged out of the way as the creature tried attacking you, what in the maker was it?! You said to yourself as you focused on not getting crushed by that thing.

You took out your blaster and began to shoot at it, you’re not sure how many times you would have to continue to attack it before it finally left you alone. As you tried dodging its attack again it was able to graze your leg, you let out a painful grunt. You heard someone running behind you, it was Cal he quickly turned on his lightsaber and attacked the creature. “Are you alright?” he asked as he stood in front of you guarding you in case the creature tried attacking you again, “I’m fine, it was just able to graze my leg a bit.” You said as you stood up, “I can still fight if that’s what you’re asking.” You pointed your blaster at the creature and that’s when you two began to attack it, thankfully with Cal at your side the fight didn’t last too long.

“Do you need a stim?” Cal asked as he turned off his lightsaber, you notice his eyes scan down to your leg. “I have bacta back at my room, I’ll be fine. What did you find out?” You asked as you place your blaster away, “There’s a holocron that contains the future for force-sensitive children.” When Cal told you that you could see the way his eyes light up in happiness “Cal, that’s great.” You said as you both made the journey back to the Mantis, once arriving back you saw Cere outside waiting.

“You passed the test.” “So, you knew about BD-1?” “C’mon board, we’ll take inside.”

You and Cal made your way inside the Mantis, once inside BD-1 jumped off Cal’s shoulder “Oh, BD-1 this is Greez. Hey, Greez.” Cal said, BD-1 quickly jumped on the sofa “what is that?” BD-1 chirped “Get off my sofa! Get… Get off my sofa! Go! Get outta there, Get out!” Greez said as he chased BD-1. BD-1 quickly took cover on your shoulder instead of Cal’s, almost like he was telling Greez that he has a Mandalorian to protect him. “That’s BD-1.” Cal said look over at you both, “He’s with us.”

“I don’t care who’s he with. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get oil stains out of potolli-weave fabric?” “Not really.” Cal said as he walked away from Greez and stood near you and BD-1, “Oh, I hope you found something better out there than this droid.” Greez complained, “Oh calm down greez he did.” Cere said.

“Tell us Cal.” “The vault was built by an ancient civilization called the Zeffo, A Jedi named Eno Cordova hide something inside of it.” “What did he hide inside?” Cere asked. “A holocron from the archives, it contains a list of force-sensitive children.” “The next generation of Jedi. I knew it! Ah Cordova you old fool.”

“You knew him?” Cal asked, “Yes, a long time ago. I was his apprentice. Cordova was a loner, that little droid and I are probably the only ones that know about Bogona.” Cere said. “Hold on, wait a minute, wait a minute. A holo-what?” Greez asked. “A holocron, it stores information, but only accessible to Jedi. Hang on I think I have one around here.” Cere said as she left to go grab it, the four you follow behind. Cere holds what seems to be a small box, she hands it to Cal “Use the force.” As Cal focuses on it, the box begins to open.

“This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, I regret to report that both our Jedi Order and the Republic have fallen…”

The box closes ending the message, “with that list of force-sensitives, we could rebuild the Jedi Order and defeat the empire.” “Okay no problem. Let’s get it.” Greez says as he starts walking towards the cockpit, “Expect the holocron is hidden deep inside the Vault and to get it we have to follow Cordova’s path, he mentioned something about the planet Dathomir and a Zeffo homeworld.” Cal explained “Alright, well where are we going? I’m just asking, ‘cause I was thinking of maybe making some food.” Greez said.

“Look, before we do anything. I need to know something.” Cal sat as he looked over at Cere “How come you’re no longer a Jedi?” You watched as Cere casted her eyes down “I had an experience that… changed my perspective, So I cut myself off from the force.”

“But you still want to rebuild the order?”

“I believe that rebuilding the order is the best chance we have against the Empire, what do you believe?” Cere asked Cal, you saw he hesitated to answer before saying “I believe I can’t keep hiding from the Empire. So, I really don’t have a choice.” “Cal as long as you’re alive you will always have a choice, are you with us?” Cere asked, Cal looked over at you then to BD-1 who was still perched on your shoulder. “We’re in.” he said as BD-1 chirped happily “Dathomir or Zeffo? It’s your choice.” Cal walked over to the Holotable and picked Zeffo for the next destination “Hey kid, what happened to your leg?” Greez asked, shit you forgot all about that “some creature, I’m going to go clean it up.” You say as you leave to your room, you placed BD-1 down on your bed. You go to take off your helmet until you realize BD was with you, but… it wouldn’t count right? He’s not a living thing technically. BD-1 beeped curiously, you slowly take off your helmet and place it down on your bed, you watch as BD-1 starts scanning it.

“Do you have a thing for studying things?” you asked, and BD-1 chirped, “I’ll take that as a yes.” You say as you find the bacta and start cleaning your leg, “Maker I didn’t realize that it got me that badly.” You say to BD, you heard a knock on your door “Busy come again later.” “It’s Cal is BD with you?” he asked from the other side of the door, you picked up your helmet and put it back on before opening the door for Cal.

“Sorry I couldn’t find BD anywhere.” “No worries he was just watching me try to clean up my leg, apparently he likes scanning things.” “I’ve noticed.” Cal said as he walked inside your room, “Hey I can help put the bacta on your leg.” He said as he starts kneeling to where your leg was “Don’t worry I can do it.” For some reason though Cal didn’t get up instead he held his hand out waiting for you to hand him the bacta, “Cal… you’re so stubborn.” You said as you handed him the bacta, Cal is careful to extend your leg a bit towards him. He starts to gently clean at the wound, as Cal was focused on your leg, he didn’t notice you staring at him.

Usually whenever you got an injury you never really allowed someone to help you, but why did you allow Cal to help you? Maybe it was because he insisted on helping you while others would allow you to do it yourself? Who knows you decided to look over at BD who was staring at Cal, “done.” You heard Cal say, “nice work on the bandages.” You said as you lifted your leg onto your bed “I think I did a pretty good job.” “You did, thanks for helping me.” You say to him, “you’re going to rest for a bit?” he asked.

“Yeah, the trip to Bogona tired me a bit.” Cal nodded “I’ll let you know when we get to Zeffo.” “Thanks Cal.” You heard your door open and the close, you made sure to lock it before removing your helmet and placing it on your workbench. Your eyes start to slowly close and you start to dream of your childhood on Mandalore.

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