#I’ve never seen James Bond

[thefastestqueeralive]

Let me be James Bond, I’ll be hella spy-like

[blumin-onion]

Daily Doodle Day 8

<- Day 7 | All Days | Day 9 ->

Doodle-Doo, Cock-a-Doodle-Doo

[twistingsands]

wild that kelly clarkson’s never been asked to sing a bond song… like she would kill that???

[guzmasenbyboyfriend]

Also yeah I’m watching the first james bond movie finally

[cookiescribble]

First Day

A/N: this has been in my head for a long time because I have random trivial star trek knowledge and whenever they show spencer talking about star trek in the show i go all heart eyes so I wrote a little blurb 🫶🏻 also I had fem!reader in mind when I wrote this but I realized I didn’t actually make any references to gender so 🤷🏻 - mod angel 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader

Summary: Spencer bonds with his new coworker over Star Trek. 

~~~

It was my first day at the BAU, and I was a little… intimidated being here. I had been mostly keeping my head down and staying quiet, since social interaction wasn’t something I was great at. I was okay just watching the others interact with each other for now. 

“Hey, kid,” Derek called out, beckoning Spencer. “I need your help with the crossword.”

Spencer walked over to Derek’s desk, which was next to mine. “What’s up?” he asked. 

Derek pointed to the newspaper with his pencil. “7 across: James _ Kirk (Star Trek). 8 letters.”

Tiberius, I thought instinctively. I considered saying it out loud, but he hadn’t asked me, so I decided to stay quiet. 

“Tiberius,” Spencer said, almost as fast as I had thought it. 

I smiled to myself. I was always the only one who knew about geeky stuff. Until now, I guess. 

Derek finished filling in the crossword. “Thanks. I knew it was always James T. Kirk, but I didn’t know what it stood for.”

Without thinking, I spoke up. “Actually, in the third episode of The Original Series, someone who’s fighting Kirk prepares a gravestone for him and it says James H. Kirk.”

Everyone turned to look at me, staring at me with open mouths. I blushed. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. But now I felt uncomfortable sitting in this silence. 

I cleared my throat. “Um. So. Yeah. It wasn’t always James T. Kirk, as you said. They didn’t mention his full initials until-“

“Episode 13: The Conscience of the King.” Spencer cut me off, his eyes lighting up like he had been dying to talk about this. He walked over to my desk and leaned on the front of it. “The first time they mention it is when Spock is checking his background and speaks it into the computer.”

I nodded, smiling. “Yeah, and they don’t mention the name Tiberius until the 6th movie, The Undiscovered Country.”

“Oh my god, there are two of them,” I heard Emily say. 

Either Spencer didn’t hear her or he was purposefully ignoring her. “Actually…” he started, sitting on my desk. He was bouncing a little. “The first time the name Tiberius is mention is in The Animated Series episode BEM.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” I admitted. “I’ve never actually seen The Animated Series. Actually, I’ve only ever seen part of The Original Series…”

That only made him sit up straighter. “Do you want to watch it? I have every episode on DVD. I’d be happy to show it to you sometime.”

I smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that. I’ve always wanted to finish watching it, and watch the other shows too. If you don’t mind me imposing…”

He shook his head. “I don’t mind at all. Not a lot of people I know are interested in Star Trek, so I’m happy to show it to you if you’re interested. You can come by my apartment sometime and we can watch it.”

I nodded. “That sounds great. I appreciate it.”

I heard people whispering in the distance. 

“Did he just-“

“Shh, don’t say anything, you’ll jinx it. I think this is the first time in history that this has ever worked.”

“And probably the last time it will ever work. This is definitely a unique circumstance.”

I blushed a little as I heard everyone talking about us, but I continued chatting comfortably with Spencer for a while before everyone was interrupted by the news that we had a case. But I was really relieved that, despite feeling so overwhelmed about starting this job, I had been able to make a friend on my first day.

[loveinhawkins]

The RV careens out of the trailer park and hits the open road with what pretty much amounts to ‘all speed, no grace.’ The turn Steve makes is, quite frankly, abysmal; he’s sure that if his driving instructor could see him now, the poor man would be weeping in distress.

Yet his passengers erupt into cheers as they pass the Leaving Hawkins sign, like he’s pulled some kind of James Bond move.

And, for all his insistence on being the absolute antithesis to so-called ‘jock culture’, Eddie rushes over to the driver’s seat, starts squeezing Steve’s shoulder with decidedly jock-like exuberance.

“Holy shit, holy shit, that was so fucking cool, Harrington.”

Oh, he’s definitely broken through the depression stage of the ‘finding out there’s an alternate dimension in Hawkins’ journey—landing firmly in the fuck it, might as well have some fun stage.

Steve could tell they’d reached that point even before the goddamn ‘big boy’ comment, when Eddie had taken one look at the Michael Myers mask, looked Max dead in the eye and said, “This is gonna be. So fuckin’ stupid. Let’s do it.”

Steve goes through a few seconds more of having his shoulder pummelled before saying, “Dude, you’re doing a shitty job at being undercover, stay down.”

“Like, do you have any idea,” Eddie says breathily, as if Steve hasn’t spoken, “just how perfect that was? That was, God, a childhood dream fully—”

“You dreamed of stealing an RV?” Steve says dubiously.

“Not in such crude literal terms, no. C’mon, Harrington, you must’ve had an imagination once—”

“Hey!”

“—didn’t you ever dream of, like, daring escapes, pulling the sword outta the stone, all that shit?”

Steve thinks about it. “I mean,” he says, “when I was a kid, I just kinda… climbed trees and stuff.”

Eddie sighs as if he can’t decide whether Steve’s done something especially annoying or endearing. “Of course you did.”

They reach a stop sign and Eddie finally flops into the passenger seat, facing Steve like he’s sitting side saddle on a horse.

“So,” Steve says, “I take a right after this, yeah?”

“Mm-hmm, well remembered, Mr Getaway Driver.”

Steve scoffs, glances over—finds Eddie framing him with his index finger and thumb, like a director trying to capture the perfect shot.

“James Dean,” Eddie says authoritatively, dropping his hands.

“What?”

“Was tryin’ to figure it out, your whole look, you know? Very Rebel Without a Cause.”

“Okay,” Steve says, “but I have a cause, we all do.”

Eddie just blinks at him, and Steve chuckles.

“You, idiot.”

“Oh.”

Steve has a moment to appreciate the way Eddie’s eyes go all soft and maybe just a little shiny, before he has to set off again. He takes the right turning.

“We should watch it,” Eddie says eventually. “Hell, I’ll take any movie. Just gimme, like, two hours of not having to think.”

“Tell me about it.”

Steve’s sure he’ll never complain about double VHS tapes ever again. Then a thought occurs to him.

“Shit.” He calls to the back. “Rob?”

“Yeah?”

“Y’know when we left Family Video, did we even lock up?”

“Yes,” Robin says followed immediately by, “No?”

Steve snorts. “God, we’re so fired.”

He hears Robin making her way up to the front, then Eddie saying, “Oof, Buckley, that was right in the ribs.”

“Why the sudden concern about our jobs, dingus?”

“I’m not concerned, I just got reminded of—Eddie was mentioning—”

“—Rebel Without a Cause,” Eddie finishes.

“Oh, Steve, I know you’ve seen it, I put it on last week!”

“Uh, maybe I was preoccupied doing, I dunno, my job.”

“It’s the one with—”

“James Dean,” Eddie cuts in.

“Yeah, I gathered, thanks,” Steve says sarcastically, but he can’t help smiling as he does so.

“—and it’s, you know,” Robin goes on, “troubled kid moves to a new town, and—”

“Aw,” Steve says, “you think I’m troubled, Munson?”

“It’s all in the eyes, Harrington. Such depths.”

“Right?” Robin says, and she’s laughing, tongue-in-cheek, “I’ve always said so.”

“You ever considered wearing a leather jacket?”

Steve laughs, too. “Tell ya what, Eddie, why don’t I just wear all your clothes?”

“Well, we know denim suits you.”

“If only you saw his last car-stealing outfit, Eddie.”

Steve sighs. “Robin, shut it.”

“Excuse me,” Eddie says, “d’you have form, Harrington? Grand theft auto form?”

“Literally once. Crazy circumstances.” Rest in peace, Todfather. “It was a Cadillac.”

“A Cadillac.” Eddie sighs dreamily. “Do you have any photos?”

“Uh, no, I was kinda busy.”

“I shall mourn the loss.”

“Take the next left here,” Nancy calls, which Steve is grateful for—the directions had gone completely out of his head.

“Wheeler, come up to the front,” Eddie says, “it’s a party.”

She must do, because her voice sounds much closer when she says, “Shit, I think I forgot to lock up, too.”

“Don’t worry,” Steve says, “no-one’s gonna ransack The Weekly Streak.”

Another stop sign—Steve looks over, smirks at how Eddie has ended up squished between Nancy and Robin, all of them sharing the one seat.

“They better not.” To Eddie, Nancy adds, “I think I gave your uncle the impression that I’m doing a big piece on you. Like, testimonials for an innocent man, stuff like that.”

For a flicker of a second, Eddie looks nauseated at the thought—Steve spots the shift, the decision to make a joke about it.

“Well, Wheeler, you better make me sound good.”

“Oh, I was going more for journalistic integrity.”

“Hey.”

Steve hears a couple of thumps behind him; without even glancing in the mirror, he says, “Sit your asses down, shitheads, don’t make me turn this thing around.”

“Don’t make me turn this thing around!” Lucas parrots.

Max scoffs playfully: “Nineteen going on forty.”

“Eddie was standing before!” Erica points out.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, Eddie’s a law unto himself. Look, just sit down and, like, make a list or something, I’ll stop off for food after we’ve—”

Dustin laughs. “You really are forty.”

“Uh-huh, one more wisecrack and you’re not getting any chocolate pudding.”

Steve’s hamming it up, he knows he is—smiles to himself as he hears a quartet of giggles.

“Can you believe they used to think I was cool?” he says.

“I dunno, Harrington,” Eddie says warmly, “at least one of them doth protest too much.”

Nancy stands in search of a pen, Robin following, insisting to Dustin that, “We’re getting one of those camp stoves, if I don’t eat something hot soon, I’m gonna die.”

“Yeah,” Steve says. Maybe it’s because they’ll soon be arriving at The War Zone; his levity slips just a little when he says, “It’s probably, like, a proximity thing. Henderson’ll have a scientific term for it.”

Eddie chuckles. “What, the Steve Harrington effect?”

Steve shrugs. “You get too close, the shine wears off eventually.”

He doesn’t realise until he’s said it that the joking, perhaps, has stopped somewhere along the way.

“Huh,” Eddie says. “I’m no scientist, but that doesn’t sound like the Steve Harrington effect to me.”

“No?” Steve says.

He can see the parking lot in the distance, and he gestures for Eddie to duck.

“Nope,” Eddie says. Steve can hear him moving, crouching to hide behind the driver’s seat.

He parks and everyone’s abruptly all business, deciding who’s staying in the RV, who’s going into The War Zone.

Steve hates it, has a sudden intense longing to keep talking about movies, to just be stupid.

And maybe Eddie can tell, because just before Steve heads out, he catches his eye, smiles.

“Hey, don’t worry, Harrington,” he says with a tiny, fleeting wink. “You’re still my leading man.”

[ecoterrorist-katara]

The only stereotypically masculine thing about Aang…is his romantic arc

There’s a really popular post on Tumblr called “Avatar Aang, Feminist Icon.” The thesis is basically that Aang, unlike his female teachers and friends, is actually not a badass. He listens, he defers, and he respects women. He seemed to have no problem with Katara’s crush on Jet, despite his own crush on her. He chooses love and kindness and friendship and pacifism. He’s not tall and handsome as hell or buff. He wears flower crowns!

And I agree! This is Aang for most of the series and I love those qualities (though I do think the bar is in hell if those traits make a character a feminist icon, as opposed to a person who simply sees women as human beings). Anyway, I just think there’s a glaring omission. And that’s Aang’s romantic arc in season 3.

Bryke managed to take the worst of both worlds: Aang’s romantic arc retains the male-centricity that make most romances so problematic, while retaining none of the characteristics that make problematic romances compelling to women.

Aang falls in love at first sight with a beautiful girl. For the majority of their friendship, he remains respectful and supportive. As his crush hits an all time high, however, it gets distinctly more stereotypical: he kisses Katara at the invasion, and when she didn’t want to talk about that kiss, he firebends at her (the fact that this comic is canon, and was published years after ATLA’s conclusion, only demonstrates that the creators still don’t understand critiques of their romance). Aang considers Katara “his girl” and becomes furious (“I would be in the Avatar state right now!”) when the actress version of Katara didn’t like him romantically, and then he kisses her again — this time explicitly against her wishes. Throughout the show, people reassure him that she will come around, continuously reinforcing the idea that Katara is “his” and he just has to be patient. And even though Ka/taang is supposed to be endgame, we never hear directly from Katara how she feels, even though we’re no strangers to her opinions and feelings on other topics. It’s almost like the creators wanted Katara’s feelings to be a mystery because we’re meant to resonate with Aang. That’s…a male-centric, action hero romance.

In addition, the friendship dynamics between Katara and Aang feel pretty gendered. The distribution of emotional labour between Aang and Katara is quite skewed: Katara takes care of Aang much more than he takes care of her. She’s the one responsible for calming him down from the Avatar State. She’s the one who cooks for him and performs a whole lot of domestic chores. Post-canon, Katara’s storyline revolves around Aang, and she’s treated as his accessory and the keeper of his legacy instead of her own person, to the degree that she’s not even recognizable in LOK anymore. A beautiful, badass, independent woman who dedicates her energy and intelligence to a man’s needs? Wow, that is definitely something I’ve never seen in media geared towards men!

A lot of gushing about Aang’s lack of stereotypical masculinity seems to also hinge on how Aang is not conventionally attractive, but that’s…not true. Aang may not behave like James Bond, but he has plenty of admirers. Meng and On Ji liked him even without knowing that he’s the Avatar. Post-series, Acolytes descend en masse to steal Katara’s man. And of course he grows into a tall, buff dude. Aang’s romantic arc is not about becoming attractive to women, or finding a woman who loves him despite his looks. His romantic arc is about getting the girl who’s hard to get, because she only sees him as a friend or a little brother / babysitting charge.

Bryke do not deserve the credit for creating a “feminist icon,” not when the only stereotypically masculine traits they gave him are in relation to his romance arc. It honestly feels more insidious this way, because it’s like, “see? You don’t have to be masculine to reap the benefits of performing masculinity” — the benefits being, of course, “getting” the girl you want.

[phfenomena]

❝ in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman. ❞ || Luke Hemmings x F!Reader

| A/N- completely self indulgent i love luke hemmings too much

| WARNINGS- slut shaming, wine, ice cream, crying, confessions of love, two idiots in love, threats of violence (joking manner)

luke hemmings x reader fluff

the apartment was dark, barely illuminated by the small lamps scattered around. she was freezing but couldn’t be bothered to turn the air off after the afternoon heat sizzled away. the word just keep echoing inside of her mind. slut. slut. slut. what made her a slut to them? the people who built her career for her, the people she thanks everyday for supporting her?

she couldn’t breathe, having tossed her phone towards the wall in a fit of sadness she didn’t even know how long she’d been laying there. it felt like days but in reality it was probably only a few hours.

all they did was get coffee. he asked her to go get coffee, like friends do. she couldn’t even see the paparazzi, now a hashtag with her name and canceled on the end of it is trending. she hadn’t been with that many guys, has she? she recounted how many men she’d been publicly seen with and she could count it on two hands. if she were a man she’d be praised for her game and her dedication.

maybe she shouldn’t have thrown her phone. she can hear it buzzing and dinging across the room, each notification drilling the word deeper into her head. she’s such a slut! can you believe she’s seeing another guy? #SHESOVERPARTY.

as her legs sloppily and gingerly moved towards her phone she didn’t find thousands of hate messages from her friends like she’d expect. they were there for her. they cared. as she scrolls through the messages, most of them going in one ear and out the other. one stuck out, it’s from luke. she hadn’t been telling what’s going on with her and how she felt. she shakily typed back to him ‘shit i’m so sorry i didn’t answer. just not feeling like going on my phone. thank you for the kind words.’ the bubbles indicating he’s typing appear almost instantly. he’s happy she’s okay, and that she’s texting him. he wants to come over and see how she’s doing. shit. he wants to come over.

she frantically throws her clothes into the closet and tries her best to not look like she’s been wallowing in her self pity for days. even though she has.

as they sit on her couch with wine glasses almost full to the brim, he’s saying how worried everyone was and he feels so horrible that this is happening to her.

“it’s not your fault, luke. i shouldn’t have gone out to coffee with him. i should’ve known better.” she says matter of factly. he turns towards her and furrows his eyebrows.

“no, in no parallel universe would this even be on you. you’re not to blame at all. the internet was so quick to tear you down and call you…that, because they always need a victim. someone to hate on and someone to blame everything on. it’ll never be your fault.” his voice softens towards the end, his free hand rubbing comforting circles over her knee.

the dam collapsed, she fell into a fit of sobs and struggled breaths. placing the wine glass down on the table and putting her head into her hands.

“it just feels so horrible! to have everyone hate you, and call you a slut, a whore, any other insult they can think of!” she’s choking on her own sobs now as he sets his wine glass next to hers and wraps his arms around her. tracing shapes onto her back.

“i’ve never been through this, i can’t imagine how you’re feeling. but i’m your best friend and i’ll do anything in my power to make you feel better. if you want i’ll go out there right now and track down those internet trolls. i can go all james bond on them.” she smiles at his joke but it barley reaches her eyes.

“can we go get ice cream? with full masks on, and every inch of our bodies covered so no one will know it us?” his smile is plastered across his face as he releases her. “i will buy you the entire menu if it’ll make you feel better.” she wipes her tears and stands up.

they’re sitting in his car, windows rolled tightly up. she’s laughing now. she’s laughing at his jokes. he made her laugh. his hands feel like they’re still on fire from when he held her. she was so close, he could feel her heartbeat. her face is lit up by the moon hanging low, almost casting a halo-like effect behind her head. how fitting.

there are traces of their endeavor on her chin, just below her bottom lip. he wipes a napkin across her face trying to rid of the splotch. she laughs and grabs the napkin from his hand

“i’m not a toddler, luke. i can wipe my own face.” she teases while she’s staring into the mirror and wiping her own face. “you’re so pretty” tumbles out of his mouth, barley above a whisper. by the time it traveled to her ears she froze, and went red. her insides felt like they were on fire, in contrast to the temperature outside of the car.

he was quick to apologize before she cut him off. “you’re pretty too. but i’m sure you hear that enough from your fangirls. does it ever creep you out how many people have your face on their bedroom wall? it freaks me out. a picture of me watching them like i’m jesus.” she diffuses the tension whilst also avoiding have a tender moment with him. self-sabotage.

“your fans are normal, though! mine literally figured out where the band was staying and sat outside the hotel for twelve hours.” he exasperated as she laughed. hard.

“they’re just devoted! they’d never call you a slut, even if you slept with the entirety of california.” her eyebrows furrow as she tries to say it seriously, but the idea of him sleeping around the state made her laugh all over again.

“well, i’m one of your fans and i’d never call you a slut. i actually run three different fan accounts for you just to show my pure unbridled devotion to you.” he holds a finger up acting as if he’s telling her a statistic.

“oh my! what a gentleman you are, luke! my reputations never been worse, so you must really like me.” in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman. they feel giddy and high off of eachother presence. as the laughter quiets down and she looks at the radio, she smiles softly seeing ‘you are in love (taylor’s version)’ playing at a low volume.

“you’re my best friend in the whole world, you know that? you’ve always been there and i hope you never leave.” he quietly confesses, his gaze fixed on the moon. desperately avoiding her eye contact.

“you’re my best friend too, luke. i really appreciate everything you did for me tonight. i feel a lot better, thank you.” her hand rests on top of his and a sweet grin settles upon her face.

his hand comes up to cup the side of her face and she leans into it, closing her eyes. “i love you.” he whispers. her eyes slowly open and before he can take it back she meshes their lips together. moving in sync as taylor swift plays softly in the background.

“i love you more, luke.”

[aziraphales-library]

Hello! First off I want to say this is one of my favorite tumblr blogs out there :) I’m sure it’s a lot of work but it definitely pays off with how easy it is to find a fic on here! I love the work you all do.

I’ve perused the #crowley’s-eyes fics quite a bit and am looking for more— specifically relating to Crowley having trouble with his vision. I have vision issues myself and it makes me happy to see that aspect in my favorite character.

Thank you in advance! 🫶❤️

Hi! Yes, we have quite a few posts on our #crowley's eyes tag. Here are some more recent fics to add...

Snake Eyes by DrHuggles_j (G)

It's difficult to keep from your book-loving angelic counterpart that Crowley, in fact, cannot read words that small on a page. Sure, he can read and write, but human text has a tendency to evade him at times, opting to guess or simply miracle the text to a readable size. He's kept the secret for this long, what's for the rest of eternity?

Your Eyes Hold the Stars by ForrestToffee (G)

When he fell Crowley was cursed with snake eyes. And sure, it made the first several couple millennia a little challenging until glasses were invented. But he didn’t really know what he was missing. But fast forward six thousand years, and fooling Heaven and Hell with their little body swap scheme unexpectedly gave Crowley the opportunity to see the world as it was meant to be seen. OR Crowley gets the opportunity to see his stars as they were always meant to be seen.

until the stars fall from the sky by theivytree (T)

The stars have always been one of Aziraphale’s favorite things about the universe. Millions of stars, thousands of planets, so expansive and beautiful. He remembers being in space, watching the nebula burst in an array of colors the angel had never seen before. Gorgeous was the only way it could be described in Earthly words. Or; Aziraphale and Crowley go stargazing on two separate occasions.

Bright as his eyes by HenlyesTales (G)

"What do you mean?". Crowley shrugged "Heaven destroyed most of them when I fell" Aziraphale stared at Crowley for a few seconds, "Crowley they’re all- they’re all here. Heaven didn’t touch your stars". -Or- Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in 35 AD, go on a walk together and Crowley realizes how much his snake eyes affect him.

Snake Eyes by Strummer_Pinks (NR)

Aziraphale pines over Crowley, unable to voice his true feelings for his friend. In other news, Aziraphale doesn't realize that having snake eyes, Crowley can't see in colour. Insanity at a sushi restaurant ensues.

The Crowley Collection by OverlookBrooke (M)

Aziraphale wasn’t an idiot. He knew Crowley enjoyed James Bond and botany and old cars. There were so many wonderful novels on these topics—Crowley really ought to try reading once and a while. (He could definitely learn to enjoy his hobbies and interests even better if he dug his nose into a book every now and then!) Aziraphale had to wonder, why wouldn’t he read? No matter. If he didn’t want to read, Aziraphale would collect books for him. Just in case he wanted to. No other reason. Right?

- Mod D

[lyricalt]

red spy x red sniper, ostentatious

rescue scenario. :o)

----

Sniper has never had such mixed feelings when he hears gunfire from the outside the room. It goes on for two agonizing minutes before the locked door rattles and Spy kicks it open. Sniper stays very still and very quiet.

Spy scans the room, eyes stopping for moment at the ominous dark pool in the middle, before he glances upwards. When he spots Sniper, all tied up and dangling from a very creative set up involving a crane and some rope, his ensuing grin is one of the most heinous expressions Sniper has ever seen. 

“Allo, my dear. It is I, your knight in shining armor,” Spy announces, full of unchecked malicious glee. He takes a mocking bow, the straps of Sniper’s rifle and kukri holster slipping from his shoulder, unused to the weight. “Here to rescue you, for a very reasonable fee.”

“I’m shocked you didn’t try to up your payment,” Sniper says dryly, looking down at him. At least Spy had found his weapons. They won’t have to go back looking for them.

“You appealed to my chivalric nature. What can I say, I see a pathetic, teary-eyed damsel in distress, and I must help.”

Against his will, Sniper flushes. He ought to be used to this by now. “I ain’t teary-eyed.”

“Oh, not at this exact moment. I was referring to the other times when I’ve had your ankles in the air.” Spy’s eyes flick up, no doubt getting a good look at Sniper’s tied up ankles. “Though this is a little too high for my liking.”

Sniper stays resolutely silent, fuming. It should have never come to this, and it’s not often he takes up a job where he finds himself outmatched, let alone captured. It’ll be the last time he’ll try to assassinate a casino owner with a secret underground lair filled with several predatory aquatic animals as pets.

Spy continues to be a bloody bastard about it. He meanders along the catwalk towards the crane’s controls. To Sniper’s complete dismay, Spy seems to be dressed fancier than usual. He’s swapped out the RED uniform suit for something sleeker and darker. It reeks of James Bond bullshit. Being cuffed and tied up above a stupid cliched bottomless pool doesn’t help matters. Spy must be tickled pink, which makes this situation all the worse.

Spy taps a few buttons and Sniper goes swinging towards the side, no longer above the pool. He inspects Sniper, now dangling directly over him, and pats his jacket for something that is probably no good. “My my my, ran into some trouble, have we?”

Sniper groans. A camera shutter goes off. He attempts to turn away, which only causes the rope to swing and spin him in a humiliating circle. It takes him two full rotations to say, “Don’t you got—enough blackmail on me?”

“No, this is for my own diary, for when I need a laugh,” Spy says, putting away the camera. “I’ve already composed the entry; ‘Dear diary, today mon paramore bête completely fucked up his own mission and begged me to come save him-’”

“Put me back over the pool,” Sniper says impassively. “I’ll take my chances with the sharks.”

“Don’t be silly. Shall I shoot you down? I have been working on my accuracy,” Spy says. 

To Sniper’s horror, Spy unslings the rifle and points it at him, one-handed with no steadying arm, and no scope attachment of any kind. There are bullet trajectories to keep in mind, and air blowing from the industrial vents in the ceiling so that means there’s negative windspeed, at a spin angle due to Spy using his left hand.

“Oh, no. Just pull that red lever right there, thanks,” Sniper says, his voice going a smidge higher when he catches Spy closing one eye to line his sights. The wrong eye. It has to be a joke, he knows, but the professional sharpshooter in him is screaming in revulsion. “The lever, Spy. Please. Red one. Right there. That should let me down nice ‘n easy.” He screws his eyes shut. “Oh, for Chrissakes Spy, at least use the scope-”

“When have I ever let you down easy?” Spy asks, smirking, and fires.

Sniper presses his lips together when the bullet whizzes by his ear. Spy adjusts his aim using the correct eye. To his credit, Sniper doesn’t yelp as the second bullet rips through the bit of rope above him and drops him down. He doesn’t even want to know how close it’d been to hitting his head, though landing on the ground seems to knock all thoughts from his brain anyway, along with all the air in his lungs.

“Didn’t even bloody catch me,” he wheezes the second he stops laying there stunned on the floor. It’d been a good six meter drop. “What kinda hackjob rescue is this?”

He attempts to sit up, whirly birds and stars still spinning in the air, but Spy kneels down by his side, one steadying arm circling around his back.

“My apologies, that comes with the luxury rescue package,” Spy says, patting Sniper’s body to check for any broken bones. “Where I ride in on a horse with champagne and sweep you off your feet. Confetti fires from my gun and a live band plays a song of your choice.”

Sniper is so indignant he almost doesn’t notice Spy pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. He blinks and spends the rest of the time staring at Spy’s hands while they try to undo the binds and cuffs around his ankles.

“I should carry you out,” Spy says after a while, reaching into his pockets for his lockpicking tools.

“Don’t you fuckin’ dare,” Sniper growls. 

[here-comes-the-moose]

Thanks (mostly) to edits I’ve seen on TikTok, these are now songs I permanently associate with different members of the Bad Batch (this list is super long and also random and unhinged you have been warned also I didn’t realize how many songs there were and how many were for Crosshair since apparently that’s the side of Bad Batch TikTok I’m on). I will add more as I remember them because there’s a lot of songs.

Hunter

“Rebel Yell”

“Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home)”

“Body”

Wrecker

“Cherry Bomb”

“Let’s Get It On”

“Big and Chunky” (the song when Moto Moto walks out of the water in Madagascar 2)

“Big Boy”

Tech

“Heartless”

“Red”

Crosshair

“Washing Machine Heart”

“Anaconda”

“Kitty Kat”

“I Bet On Losing Dogs”

The Whole Reputation Album but especially “I Did Something Bad” and “Look What You Made Me Do”

“Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”

“Million Dollar Man”

Echo

“Kiss Me More”

The James Bond Theme

The Mission Impossible Theme

Omega

“Teenagers”

“Slipping Through My Fingers”

Also “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”

“Never Grow Up”

“Just A Girl”

Also “Look What You Made Me Do”

[chlobliviate]

Wolfstar Microfics - Drama

Words: 668

@wolfstarmicrofic

***

“Did you see the cast list?" James was practically vibrating as Sirius took a final drag on his cigarette outside the school gates.

“Yeah, you and Evans? I give it a week before she smacks you or drops out.” Sirius said sharply. “Did you see some new kid got Pete’s part?”

“It was never Pete’s part, Pads. That was wishful thinking. The boy can’t sing to save his life. He only auditioned because you threatened him.”

Sirius huffed, “I thought it would be a fun bonding thing for our last year. We’d be Sam, Bill, and Harry and it would be magical.”

“Well now we’re Sam and Bill and the set designer and that’s probably good. Nobody needs Pete singing Our Last Summer. They’d be wishing it was their last summer.” James clapped his friend on the shoulder, “So what do you know about the new kid?”

“Nothing, I don’t think I’ve ever even seen him. I’ve heard the girls talking about him, though.” Sirius added, “Maybe you need to watch him around Evans.”

“Nah, I’d know if she fancied someone.”

“You think?” Sirius laughed. “Come on, we’re late for rehearsal.”

They snuck into the auditorium just as the head of drama, Professor McGonagall was starting her speech. Sirius caught Marlene’s eye and gave a little wave, she stuck her tongue out in response. He looked around for this mysterious new kid. What was his name? Lupin? He saw someone sitting next to Lily that he didn’t recognise, but couldn’t tell much from the back of his head.

When McGonagall was done, she announced that they’d be working on Voulez Vous as an introductory number as it featured everyone. She split them up into Sopranos, Altos, Tenors, and Basses and it was then that Sirius saw the new kid for the first time.

James nudged him after a couple of seconds, “Move, you prick.” Sirius turned to look at him, eyes wide, before he shook himself out of it, because Remus Lupin, new kid, was bloody gorgeous. Light brown hair fell in curls across his head, green eyes with long lashes, and a nose that most people would probably argue was slightly too big for his face. Several scars decorated the left side of his face, one cutting through his full lips.

He looked at Sirius and smiled shyly as James pushed Sirius across the room to where the tenors and basses were grouped. “You must be Remus!” James said. “I’m—”

“James Potter and Sirius Black,” Remus cut in, in a surprisingly deep voice. “Your reputation precedes you.” He ran his eyes up and down Sirius before focusing back on James. “Anyway, it’s good to meet you, I guess we’ll be spending a lot of time together.”

“Good to meet you too, mate. Is this tenor or bass?” James looked around. “I’m in the wrong place. See you later Pads. Nice to meet you, Remus.”

James, the traitor, left Sirius alone with Remus in the group of only five basses. He was having trouble forming words, so he just smiled at him.

“Alright?” Remus asked, “Lils made it seem like you never shut up, and now I don’t know if I can believe her about anything.”

“Nah, Evans is alright.” Sirius blurted out. “Uh, long day.” He shrugged. “So you’re new?”

“Started in January.” Remus smiled. “So, new-ish. I think I know my way around now at least.”

“Well, you can always ask me if you get lost.” Sirius cringed internally, What the fuck was he saying? “I mean, James and I know a few shortcuts.”

Remus’ left eyebrow raised slightly, “Shortcuts?”

“Yeah, like, there's a corridor between the science block and the drama department that’s supposedly closed off but…” He grinned, “It’s still accessible and might save you five whole minutes.”

“Five minutes in a secret corridor, huh?” Remus smirked at him and Sirius’ brain short-circuited. He was very grateful for McGonagall calling for quiet so she could start teaching the individual parts. He was so fucked.

[amidst-wonderland]

smoke break 

paring - river cartwright x reader

warnings - nothing out of canon, suggestive language

note - i had this sitting and had no plans to do anything with it so enjoy

“then again,” she announces with a smirk, flicking the ash into her mug, “that affronted prick has been buried in just about every hole i’ve got, but never quite fucked me the way he did you.”

“jealous?” river quips, though it wouldn’t take an idiot to hear the pungent disgust lingering in the cheeky retort, whether it’s due to the memory of a purposely botched training exercise, or the image of webb, fucking the girl he’d been pinning over for years was anyone’s guess.

“god no.” (y/n) scoffs, taking another quick drawl, “if i was, probably wouldn’t be stuck here doing lamb’s fag runs and spider wouldn’t be heading for a put-down count that’d make the grand national squirm.”

“ever the optimist.” he offers a lazy smile taking another sip of his pint.

“reckon you’d have to be if you’ve ever seen the size of it. i’ve had shits bigger than that thing." she delivers crudely, watching her other blonde colleague almost choke on his drink before taking another inhale off the snout, grinning into it as river checks his shirt for any spillage.

it was nice. two old friends having a giggle outside a local. away from prying ears and eyes, allowed to announce their grievances without the threat of a verbal kick up the backside from an omnipresent employer.

“so, he’s the reason you’re here - cut from the same cloth.”

“technically, i’m here because of him. you’re here because of taverner, by proxy.”

“how so?”

“christ river,” (y/n) sighs, “y’know it’d be romantic if it wasn’t so utterly pathetic. lied to me, didn’t he? all so he could play prince-fucking-charming. swoops in with the dogs when his fiancée gets compromised.”

“can’t say i haven’t been there.”

“you can.” she pressed, “it wasn’t play-pretend for some of us cartwright. nearly ended-up a human shield to our own firearms unit in some grimy dutch brothel because he’d had an epiphany.”

“which was?”

“that his missus wasn’t boss material.” she solemnly smiles, stubbing out the cigarette. “taverner had me pegged as her second after the op and he didn’t like it. i was on the up, you were her hot-shot proto-bond and he became the afterthought and god forbid someone forget james webb.”

“that’s how you ended up in slough house?”

“well, after the debrief from hell and an engagement ring lobbed in the thames.”

“do you regret it?”

(y/n) snorts, “course i do, that ring would’ve covered a bloody downpayment.”

“that’s not what i mean.”

“i know,” she hums, turning to dig through her bag for her phone in case lamb had texted, asking where his pack of richmond’s went. “besides, i’ll bet in his mind it was some petty revenge for barcelona.”

“but you weren’t even-”

river’s cut off when (y/n)’s phone begins buzzing. she doesn’t answer but begins reading aloud some previously sent text. “‘if i don’t have a fag between two of my fingers in the next five minutes, consider yourself sacked, cartwright too.’ sent three minutes ago.”

“better shift then.”

“hope you brought trainers.”

–

“look who finally decided to show up,” lamb announces, perched against roddy’s desk with his arms crossed, “poundland’s answer to bond and the widow.”

(y/n) watches river let out a heavy sigh of contempt in his exhaustion before slipping past him, placing the pack of cigarettes into her boss’ now outstretched hand.

lamb scrunches his nose as (y/n) moves to dump her bag in the corner of the room. “box is feeling awfully light. hiding something with that perfume love? like a couple of nicked fags.”

“thought i’d try it out for a bit, it’s called 'au du, fuck you'.”

“mighty repellent then,” he replies, tearing open the richmond’s and perching a straight into his lips. “shame it’s not worked on junior over there.”

river and (y/n) share a knowing look of discontent and mild amusement before heading out the room one after the other.

[earthtoharlow]

;) SERIES MASTERLIST

PERVIOUS

THESHADEROOM

liked by 19,578 users

theshaderoom: Oh Lord! #JackHarlow opens up in a new interview about where he stands with #Drake and on his marriage to Stacey James!

When asked if they have spoken since the news broke that he had a baby with his famous ex Y/N Y/L, Harlow says “No, we haven’t spoken at all. Frankly, I still don’t have anything to say to him. It’s a fucked up situation but you know what they say “Never meet your heroes” They won't last anyway.

When pressed on if the dms to Y/N were actually him, he says “Not to believe everything you see on the internet, especially from someone as attention seeking as Y/N. For a new mother, she has a lot of time on her hands. "

view all 10,573 comments

user: he do everthing but drop good music ;/

user: boy is sooo hurt

user: it stacey not concerned that her man keeps talking about his ex he claims he hates??????

user: what happened to him? He used to be so sweet

user: This all could've been avoided if he didn't cheat on Y/N

CHAMPAGNEPAPI

liked by selenagomez, icespice, dojacat, meekmill, saweetie, sza, urbanwyatt and 1,031,278 others

champagnepapi: my baby momma realer than a lot of you niggas

comments on this post have been limited

celeb: dude just called us all pussies

celeb: shots to harlow 👀

nickiminaj: look at my baby 😍

celeb: dude won at life

yourinsta: realer than real 🤭 love you daddy

celeb: HIS LOSS

YOURINSTA

liked by icespice, summerwalker, justinbieber, stormreid, chloebailey, drakereated, and 56,026 others

yourinsta: Talk about a throwback! Who would’ve thought this man would be the father of my daughter🥹

view all 10,589 comments

user: it’s the leg kick up for me

user: I hate seeing people live my dreams

user: look at baby Ariel 😍

champagnepapi: Aw man I’ve never seen this 🤣

druski: I thought I had a chance

yourinsta: why would you think that

user: love seeing you so happy

urbanwyatt: haven’t spoken in a while but it makes me smile seeing you so happy

yourinsta: twin 4lyfe 🫶 no matter what

BALLERALERT

liked by 17,073 users

balleralert: uh oh! Drake dropped a new song last night and he had some things to say about Jack Harlow and his wife Stacey James. If you weren’t aware, Jack and Stacey have been shading Y/N Y/L since the news dropped that she was dating and had a baby with the megastar rapper.

view all 6,036 comments

user: aye drake funny as hell

user: nigga said sidebar your husband a groupie 🤣🤣

user: draaaaag him!!!

user: glad he finally said something!

user: Jack deserved this

user: there’s levels to this bar, Jack growing up a huge fan of Drake and then Jack not being able to stop talking about Y/N

user: well, Drake did say he would spin bout y/n

THATGIRLSTACEY

liked by kimkardashian, claybornharlow, neelamthadhani, joeywagner, yungskylark, urbanwyatt and 686,456 others

thatgirlstacey: No one can break our bond.

Sidebar, Aubrey don’t let have to tell your baby momma that you and I go WAY back.

view all 12,036 comments

user: oh shit

user: bruh y/n will never have peace

user: ok but look how big Willow is now!

user: wish Y/n never got involved with Jack and his messiness

druski: uh 😳

saweetie: if you gonna talk shit about my friend then put a name to it.

user: you a messy bitch fr

user: y’all both groupies

yourinsta: you rang?

user: how y/n name taste since it stay in your mouth

champagnepapi: unlike your husband, I tell my girl the truth about everything 🤨 so she knows everything about me

champagnepapi: oh and @jackharlow who was that white girl you were kissing at the club last weekend in Miami?

user: OMG!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------

SURPRISE! I recently hit 600 followers so i decided to make this for you guys as a thank you! Can't believe I have so many of you reading and enjoying my work. I love you guys so much!

this is being posted while i'm on vaction so this is queued post, I can't wait to read all of ya'll reactions when I get back!

I know I said this series was over but let's just pretend I didn't. I'll post a new one whenever I think of more messy drama haha

ENJOY!

Tag List:

(message me if you'd like to be added)

@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @toocriticalharlow @macey234 @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby​ @xxkoolkatxx @itsyagirljaz

NEXT PART

[archerygun]

Alright, I was chatting to a friend about James Bond because I was doing a sort of study on him for Art GCSE (long story) and we got joking about how we’d remake it.

They suggested that the only correct way would be to have the six of them as magical girls with their own colours and sparkly guns. I of course, as the resident person who doubles down and draws blursed shit, had to draw this.

I’m only halfway through, but I hope the target audience for this exists?

I’m titling this ‘007: License to Slay’ as a friend of mine suggested lmao. I think this is the best thing I’ve ever drawn personally. Can’t wait to do Dalton, Brosnan and Craig.

Just bear with me alright I’m not super familiar with magical girls as a concept and I predominantly draw more masculine costumes and clothing.

(Enjoy some bonus sketches explaining what I think their personalities would be lmao)

Basically just tried to extract the most salvageable and unique/distinct characteristics of each Bond. Pierce Brosnan doesn’t get one (yet) because I’ve never seen one of his movies and Daniel Craig doesn’t yet because I’ve drawn too many sad men drinking recently.

I know this is cursed don’t expect anything better from me like ever. Enjoy some final images of Roger Moore as compensation for your time here (not kidding when I say this man is absolutely feral).

If you want me to elaborate on this at any point please tell me it occupies too many of my thoughts as of late.

[solitaire-sol]

Daily Prongsfoot Thought 22

I know everyone loves Internalized Homophobia James and Gay/Bi/Pan Sex God Sirius, but I’ve never personally held the latter idea, though obviously I’ve seen it done really well. James and Sirius grew up in the same time period, in a society that had would give them more in common than otherwise, and if anything, Sirius would likely have had more pressure to uphold rigid sexual moors, been raised with a focus on propagating the family line, etc. Assuming this isn’t the queer magical utopia that most fanon seems to default to these days (and which I also love, don’t get me wrong), I think Sirius would have real issues with same-sex attraction, especially where James is concerned, because he loves James so much. It’s bad enough to have gay thoughts when it’s supposedly a failing on Sirius’ part, it’s even worse when it’s failing James, because how could Sirius have such… perverse thoughts about him? When James has given him so much, friendship and family and most of Sirius’ happy memories, how could Sirius want to defile their bond by “defiling” James?

In a setting with period-typical homophobia and social restrictions, I think James likely wouldn’t recognize his feelings for Sirius as being romantic/sexual; he could genuinely just think they’re odd but platonic or he could be intentionally deluding himself, but I think he would be convinced that he doesn’t have any feelings for Sirius like that, they’re just best friends, practically brothers! Whereas I think Sirius would immediately be aware of what he feels for James, that he wants more than just friendship, and I can see him holding this back as long as he can, despite the fact that he and James share everything else with each other, because he’s terrified of “contaminating” or “corrupting” what he and James already have. Sirius strikes me as the more socially and emotionally aware of the two, in terms of how they and their feelings would interact with/be perceived by the wider world, and I think he’d feel more responsible to moderate himself/their relationship as a result because James isn’t typically as introspective.