#I’ve never been by myself
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Oh…. Well, it’s over for Crunchyroll I guess
#Crunchyroll#piracy#funimation#money hungry ass streaming service#rambling#I’ve never paid for a streaming service in my life thank god#I appreciated using others accounts but I personally cannot see myself paying this much for a service if I had the funds 😭!#get back to pirating kings!!!#anime has always been one of the easiest forms of media to pirate anyway so y’all got this#CR is definitely not worth paying for though#CR is certainly not worth paying this much for even if it’s a yearly one time fee#capitalism#the fact that CR has always had pretty bad quality as a streaming service anyway#it buffers every time you pause or rewind anything
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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Shaking in my boots at the dentist rn
#I’m so scared I’m#I’ve never been by myself#I’m gonna start sobbing#rambling#phever dreams with phantom
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banging on the wall of my asylum room can anyone hear me.
#pokemon#kieran#trainer kieran#florian#sghr#candyappleshipping#hrsg#rival kieran#trainer florian#pokemon scarlet and violet#pokemon sv#indigo disk#art#fanart#persona 5#shuake#trust me bro….#tealmaskshipping#suguharu#WHY ARE THERE SO MANY NAMES#giggling cackling sobbing maniacally#yknow throughout the game I was waiting for kieran to pop the ‘I hate you Florian’ like any self respecting rival yaoi would do#but he never…. did it……#HIS SPEECH IN THE TERAPAGOS ROOM WAS CLOSE ENOUGH THO!!!! CLOSE ENOUGH…..#speaking of which yeah maybe the bg being terapagos room instead of bb entrance would’ve fit better but whatever man#begging you not to look at any mistakes too closely I did this in a feverish frenzied state#does anybody get me or do I have to go insane all by myself#anywa i thought i was being delusional and mentally ill with my interpretation of kieran but then terapagos room happened and#HE JUST SAYS ALL THAT? HES ACTUALLY EXACTLY LIKE THAT. HES SO FUCKED#rank 8 akechi has such a special place in my soul. I’ve never been the same person since.
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When someone really cool that I’ve followed for a while follows me back I feel like I have to be more normal with my posting habits for a bit because I don’t want to scare them away, as if they were a nervous horse who might run away if I move too suddenly. But eventually I realize that it’s impossible for me to be normal forever so I just go back to being weird regular annoying me and cross my fingers that they stay
#sometimes it works#idk why I said horse. deer would’ve been a better thing probably. idk I’ve never actually seen a nervous horse up close#deers do that all the time though#at least I can stop myself from DMing them and being weird like ‘hiiii I love your art thank you for following me can we be friends?’
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Mostly Hiring manager, but HR manager and PR manager too
#elden ring#elden ring varre#white mask varre#varre#white faced varre#tarnished#tarnished oc#varre x tarnished#tw; blood#suggestive#no jokes or humor this time sorry#just Varre being Varre#I know I usually stick to humor stuff but this clawed through my brain like an eldritch horror#I actually hate 5/11 Varre faces I drew here but I did my best#sometimes homeboy is gonna look like a lil gremlin and there’s nothing I can do about it#but also those other 6 /11 faces are the best I’ve ever done so I’ll take it#never been more clear to me how I unconsciously push myself to do harder things#like we got crazy hand angles with defined knuckles and fingernails#we got the upward angle face that doesn’t look like shit#we got form fitting lighting that is passable#semi accurate fabric physics#did I not give a fuck about the BG#yes#but I’m here for Varre sex appeal not rendering bricks#also misericorde magically changes scale throughout the whole comic#lmao oops#most detailed environmental lighting I’ve done too#Christ the lengths I go to for deranged fictional men#at the very least I feel like the dialogue isn’t ooc#me fighting for my life to make sure Varre looks like the same damn character between each panel
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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i think, for trauma survivors, especially those who were emotionally abused, invalidated, or gaslit, it is really important not to underestimate the significance of speaking bluntly about what happened to you. Forcing yourself not to beat around the bush, not to downplay what you went through with your words. say what happened, without any caveats, without any “but it could’ve been worse”, “but i might just be being overdramatic”, “but it wasn’t really THAT bad,” and so forth. sit with the discomfort until you can begin to let yourself realize that it WAS that bad, you WERENT being overdramatic, and even if it could’ve been worse you still didn’t deserve it. It’s almost like a form of reclamation, taking back your memories, taking back your life, even the difficult or gross parts, and refusing to let anyone change the narrative or tell you how you should feel anymore, even yourself. and it hurts and it’s scary and it feels weird and awkward and sometimes you want to convince yourself you’re lying, but i think sitting in those weird feelings and letting yourself admit that you really did go through trauma puts the power back in your hands to process things and be compassionate to yourself while you heal
#like. recently i’ve been reflecting a lot on this trauma i have with this absolutely godawful english teacher i had in grade 7#he was an absolute creep and even though he never touched me i knew he touched other girls and made even creepier comments to them#than he did to me. and i never really had time to fully understand the gravity of the damage he did to me because i was#so focused on the fact that it could’ve been worse and he never even actually touched me or got that close to me save a few times#but yesterday as i was reflecting on this i finally got myself to admit. i was terrified of him and i was terrified for every fucking minute#that i spent in that class. and i was a child who never should’ve had to deal with that and it’s clear that i still have a lot of problems#from that whole event. and the more times i repeat that and get myself to understand it. the more i’m able to be compassionate to myself now#and patient with myself in the things i struggle with as a result of what happened#childhood trauma#trauma#cptsd healing#cptsd recovery#cptsdawareness#trauma survivor#trauma recovery
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Life is actually about wearing a dress and daydreaming about someone you love zipping it up for you btw
#wlw#wlw mood#sapphic#sapphism#lesbian#i’ve actually never run into a dress that i’m unable to zip up myself but the point stands😤#because if given the chance i would absolutely make a partner do it for me instead😤😤#flexible shoulders be damned#i love dresses so much by the way!!#i’ve been trying to heal my relationship with them the past few years and get into wearing them more casually#and!!! it’s fun!!! i love them!!!!#:)!!!#im gay and i like sleeping
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howdy, y’all
i am scheduled for top surgery in just a few short months! i’ve wanted this surgery since i was 14, and i’m beyond stoked that it’s really truly finally happening
although i have a little in savings, i live paycheck to paycheck, and i need your help to keep the lights on while i’m recovering
click here to view my gofundme campaign! even a $5 or $10 gift goes a long way towards offsetting the costs of surgery not covered by my insurance provider and carrying me through recovery while i am unable to work
if you’re unable to donate right now, please share this post to your dashboard, with your personal trainer, on your nearest bathroom stall wall, or with that one 3 person group chat with the really specific name. you know the one i’m talking about
sincerely, thank you so much for taking the time to read and share and donate. this online space has been beyond important to me through transition, and i wouldn’t be the person i am today without you and your shitposts and meta and edits and fanart and fic and friendship
i love u guys :o)
#asking for help with this makes me cringe and want to curl up into a ball and bury myself under the soft wet topsoil#but here we are#seriously thank u so much#i love y’all and i would never have been able to get this far without the relationships i’ve gained through fandom#scout.txt
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dp x dc prompt #51
when damian was sent to investigate a‘brainwashing summer camp’ he was not pleased. The kid who shared his cabin room might make it more bearable though. Danny seems to hate this place just as much as he does.
Two days later after both of them are tied up in the store room for spying, maybe he should have come in with a better plan.
summer camp dead serious thing that nobody but my brain asked for.
#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#dc x dp#crossover#dc universe#dp x dc crossover#writing prompt#writing#damian wayne#brainwashing summer camp#you can’t convince me that the main camp counselor didn’t start with ‘hello happy campers!’#dead serious#secret identities. you know. to make dating more exciting.#they bond over being the only ones that hate the place lmao#me: i can’t write this myself because i’ve never been to summer camp#my brain: but you can write about children running across rooftops in the middle of the night?#me: off topic next question#and they were roommates
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The way Gortash ‘threatens’ Durge if they refuse to give him the stones is so funny.
Describing their death in such a grotesque, intimate way …how could they not take it as an attempted bhaalist love confession?
#i’ve been wanting to draw this for awhile now but had to make myself sketch it out#cuz i knew if i full colored everything i’d never actually get to finishing it 🥲#anyways durgetash has been the only thing on my mind lately#once i get more comfortable drawing dragonborn durge…👁️#hell will break loose#bg3#baldurs gate 3#fan art#the dark urge#enver gortash#astarion#shadowheart#gale dekarios#comic#bg3 fanart#durgetash
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isat pokemon au, my liege?
my rambling in tags
#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#pokemon#siffrin#mirabelle#isabeau#odile#bonnie#i am not individually tagging pokemon sorry. floragato eevee ursaring scorbunny meowstic <- for anyone who does not know them#im personally a big fan of when artists mold pokemon designs like clay to fit their characters so i tried to channel that#siffrin really does have the perfect mystery dungeon backstory. washes up on a beach with no memories of their past type of deal yknow#i imagine that he was still a sprigatito then? and evolves at some point during their journey? dont ask me for details i dont know them#veryy tempting to make him an absol but ive already seen that done very well!! so i kept most of these to floragato sif#mirabelle being an eevee is suuuch low hanging fruit sorry. i could not resist the evolving pokemon not wanting to evolve trope#i was concerned that sif was no longer shortest party member until i realized they just stand on their back legs all the time to feel talle#when quadruped like mira he is still shortest. sorry siffrin#isa gave me such a hard time. like i never thought i would turn a character into ursaring of all things but it really was the best choice#my other choices were bewear or pawmot if you care. he’s so bear coded#if going purely based on looks i probably would have made odile a sneasler. but i wanted her to be psychic#ill be honest bonnie was purely vibes. they carry the treasure bag :)#never draw bonnie's hat in profile worst mistake of my life#loop is still cat shaped here but i’ve seen the idea of them changing species thrown around. much to think about#i like the idea of the party seeing sif and loop side by side and immediately clocking their entire deal#the change god is mew btw. very important information to no one but myself#eurasie as hisuian zoroark?? lots of hair. and the king can be darkrai#don’t mind the inconsistencies. me and my 2781 ways of drawing the same character#wait what does an eevee look like again. googles it. oh i really crabbed this one up#uhh. looks around. been sitting on this one for a bit too long i think. maybe ill clean up some more sketches later
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scrapbook practice with keeran
#with implications of javieran because … of course#this was … SO fun. honestly.#i’d never done anything like this before but have always wanted to give it a try#it’s a mess and i’m awful at composition but oh man it was so fun#i’ve been having so much fun just trying to create like a kid again#like i’ll think “i want to do this thing’’ and i’ll let myself do it even if it’ll be a bit bad#it’s freeing :] i recommend everyone try it immediately#creating just because … like i’m a kid again … sighs ….#anyway i love them god javieran plagues me it’s all i can make#the kieran study itself is kinda meh cuz i never study him so i struggle to actually capture his likeness but it was still really fun :3#i hope i can do stuff like this more !!!! i want to get better at scrapbooking#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#image#kieran duffy#javier escuella#implied LOL#javieran#art#hero draws sometimes
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whenever dan and phil say words i remember misha collins coming out as straight and think, maybe if we’re really good, that could be dnp too 🙏
#/j#joke ok i’ve only had out dan and phil for 5 years but if anything ever happened to them i would kill everyone in this room and then myself#but like sometimes if they wanna not say things like maybe my mental health would be better#<- guy who’s been a phannie for 9 years and mentally ill for over 25 years#dnp#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#daniel howell#amazingphil#phil lester#danisnotonfire#danandphilgames#yeet my deenp#yeet my deet#i think it’s fun to blame all of my problems on dnp as if i didn’t start have my existential crisis at age 4 and#wasnt saying i wished i was never born at age 8 and#wasn’t writing poetry about death and the cruelty of the world and the passage of time by age 10 and#wasn’t having panic attacks by age 12 and#didn’t start watching them at age 16#i bet it was dan’s fault somehow#bc mr amazing has never done anything wrong ever 😤 -a dannie#tmogar#hbdnell#bog
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you (your mind), you (your body), you (the rot that’s growing inside you), and you (the corpse of your twin)
#art#my art#cyberpunk#day deblanc#scavenger ai#illustration#digital art#drawing#oc#day’s become one of my most important characters and i’ve been drawing so much of him lately#i’ve been. writing stuff too but knowing myself it’ll never be finished. and if it is itll never be out there#but this version of him has become so much of his own thing that.#it’s difficult to not keep going#so enjoy this art which is completely devoid of context but still fucks regardless#model decay
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