#I’ve done like 2 hours of sleep but not a full all nighter so let’s get it

[dreamingoftinystars]

It’s currently 3:20 am and my final is due in about 8.5 hours and I’m not even halfway done with it

[the-duckless-pond]

It is 03:54 as I begin this post and I have FINALLY finished my flash cards as of about fifteen minutes ago. Holy shit. It feels so amazing to have finally, finally done them.

Yes, I did all of chapter three which was basically entirely verbs. Yes, I did the auxiliary conjugation decks for that chapter too. And for chapters one and two. And for the new verb forms (potential and volitional) that didn’t have decks yet. All done. And then? I even pulled out Nakama 1 and entered in all the verbs from the entire book into those two conjugation decks. Holy shit. It’s done. I’m caught up on flash cards. At long fucking last.

I started around 8pm ish and took two and a half SVU breaks. I did take other little breaks to stretch or get a drink or something too, but I didn’t track how long those were. I guess overall I will say that I took two and a half hours worth of breaks. That means I made flash cards for… like five hours if I did that right. Holy shit. Fuck yeah.

I cannot believe they are actually DONE oh my godddd finally it is manageable again. Now all I have to do going forward is make the cards per each chapter. I’d say that each chapter introduces maybe 100 words and 15-20 verbs on average? So that is super doable and easy.

I don’t know what to do next. I’m still not entirely committed to pulling an all nighter. The flash cards and getting those done whatever it took was my main mission. Everything else is a bonus. I definitely want a little break no matter what I do.

Let’s see. What else is there to do that I could conceivably do well in my very caffeinated but becoming tired state.

I could…

- shower and wash my hair (or better yet take a bath and wash my hair, even if a shower does rinse better than the bath)

- Japanese test take home writing (8 sentences about a trip I will take over winter break, allowed to be lies, must contain certain grammar points)

- japanese extra credit (2 pages in the workbook, maybe with corrections? Idk)

- Japanese test review sheet (a few pages, usually 3 or 4)

- watch instructional videos on grammar points I don’t entirely understand

- line the remaining three cabinets with my contact paper like I’ve been wanting to do for a literal month now

- French exercises 2.1 to 2.3 (although those can be difficult and I am starting to get tired so maybe best saved for Tuesday)

That about sums up all my options. All of those, minus the cabinet lining which is a want, are things that absolutely need to get done that I had intended to do this weekend.

I am in a weird state where I’m yawning but I am pretty awake. Idk what to do. I’ve never pulled an all nighter studying before so how does it work? I have class tomorrow at 5:30pm but it is a review class. If I go to bed now I could wake up around noon and still have time to get more work done, but I worry about super fucking up my sleep schedule. I don’t mind going to bed around 10 or 11 and waking up between 8 and 9, but this would be the second night in a row that I would have gone to bed at like 4am, and that bodes poorly and speaks of a pattern. I don’t want that. Especially because I would have to wait until the weekend to fix it probably. Blah. It’s hard.

I did ask Charlie and she voted against an all nighter but understood my reasoning, and honestly it is such a relief to have those flash cards done that no matter what this was worth it.

I am not committed to staying up and I am not committed to going to bed, but I am very committed to taking a break. So I am laying in bed, glasses off, under the covers. I have my iPad which is probably at full charge if not close. I have my phone which I didn’t get a chance to charge because it is integral to the flash card process and it is at like 40%. My bright nightlight is on and I am on my back, not in my normal sleeping position. I am taking a break.

Boo is here on her pillow. Callie is in the dining room in the corner how she likes, last I saw with her eyes closed and snoozing. Boo seems happy. She is laying down and just closed her eyes. I felt soooooo bad earlier. Around 11pm I needed to charge my vape and I found her in bed on her pillow fast asleep.

There she is. I guess that shows you how bright my nightlight is too! It’s not actually that bright in person. It is bright enough to s the the outlines of things in the room but not so bright that I can’t fall asleep with it on.

Anyway. She was snoring and totally passed out. I really wanted to pet her and cuddle her but I didn’t want to disturb her so I just silently crept to the outlet and plugged in the cord, whispered that I loved her, abd crept back out. When it was done charging and I grabbed it she was still out cold.

She woke up the third time I went into the room. Around 1:30am I finished using my laptop but it was at half battery and I wanted it fully charged for class. So I grabbed the charger and prepared to sneak in. I made it halfway to the outlet before she let out the most heartbreaking meow. She NEVER meows except for when she really needs something (food, love, etc) so u knew she was asking me why I wasn’t in bed yet. She tried to get up but she was coming out of a deep sleep and stumbled and tripped ;~;. I rushed over to her and sat on the bed and started petting her gently and telling her that I was still studying and it was okay to go back to bed. She purred like CRAZY like wow purring so forcefully!! As if to say that she had been waiting for me all that time and she was so happy I was finally there. I stayed in bed with her sitting there while she woke up and petting her for a while. Eventually she got up to get a bite to eat and a drink of water, and I followed her out and got back to work.

After that, instead of going back to bed or to her cat tower like she does during the day, she stayed right by me. I study sitting at the coffee table on a meditation pillow with the couch right behind me. She took up position on the couch and curled right up and went back to sleep. I guess she just wanted to be by me. She is so sweet. I love her so much. I missed her while she was in the bedroom so I took an SVU break after a little and sat with her and she climbed into my lap and purred and purred. Sweet girl.

Callie mostly spent my study time atop Boo’s tower, as fast asleep as she could ever be. I didn’t want to disturb her even though I really wanted to pet her several times. She snored a handful of times and that was really sweet and melted my heart to hear her resting so soundly. She was my little companion for the entire flash card study session. She did get up once to go nap on the bathroom rug, but she moved when I went in there to use the restroom.

Gosh time is flying. Or maybe I talk to much. But it’s my diary so fuck it. It’s 4:25am as I type this sentence. I don’t feel any more or less tired than before I laid down, so I doubt sleep would come easily if I tried. I’m committed to taking a break in the form of resting quietly with my precious terminally ill cat because she wouldn’t have come back to her favorite spot without me. So I guess I will stay laying down for at least a little bit. I put in a lot of work. I’ve earned it. And it does feel nice to lay down. I was kind of hunching over when I was making my flash cards and my back is kind of sore now.

I feel like, just purely based on the amount of caffeine I have consumed since I got started around 8pm (maybe closer to 7:30pm but I wasn’t keeping track so I am saying 8), sleep is a few hours off. I feel roughly mid day level tired, only my eyes hurt a little more than normal. Probably from focusing so intently or something.

I did do the math. If I went to bed now I would wake up around 1:30pm, further worsening my sleep schedule. If I was capable of closing my eyes that is around when I would naturally wake up. It usually takes me about an hour to fall asleep, so I would end up waking up around 2:30pm ish. And because of my particular flavor of depression and executive dysfunction it is unlikely that I would make it to class. I probably wouldn’t take my so called morning medicine until like 5pm, and class starts at 5:30pm and goes until 7pm. Hm. Well then.

So what do I do? I am getting tired, that much is true, but I am always always always tired around what ends up being roughly the middle of my day. That’s why I usually have a caffeinated drink around 2 or 3pm. But with my sleep being so weird lately it’s been all off.

I think that at the very least for the sake of the cats needing a routine, I should keep the apartment dark and stay in bed laying down until at least 7am ish. I will set a series of alarms every fifteen minutes from noon to one, just in case I drift off. That should do the trick and protects me in case I do end up falling asleep. I think… that I should stay committed to resting and letting the cats rest and giving them a semabalance of everything being normal. Cats thrive on routine so that will be good for them.

I guess for now, I will test out a flash card or two (I change the font size to be larger and I want to see what it looks like) and then I will maybe read the news on the iPad or watch an episode of SVU. If I drift off, I drift off. But I won’t plan on it. Alarms are set just in case.

Boo just started snoring so I guess that’s my queue :) catch you later diary

[childishfluff]

The Feeling Of Family- A MCYT Agere/CGLRE fic (Regressors!SBI+Tubbo and Ranboo, Carer!Philza)

There was a very specific feeling that came to Ranboo when he met up with his internet friends. A weirdly comforting feeling, a reassurance that he had finally found his people.

It came to him with every hug from Tubbo, every teasing ruffle of his hair from Techno, every inappropriate joke he shared with Tommy. It clouded his mind every time he regressed with them, too, he didn't quite know how to describe it. But if he had to put a name to this odd emotion, he'd call it 'the feeling of family'.

A/N: get ready for a looooong ride. This was written over the course of two days, I really hope you guys like it! I haven't dropped a fic thats over 4000 words in a bit, I think. This is inspired loosely by Cypherr's (on ao3!!) fic 'four's a family', that's where I got the idea of Phil just being overwhelmed because there's so many babies to deal w/, so I'm crediting them! Though, this fic is much different then their's, but also please go read their fics they're great- anyways, I hope you enjoy! This fic is kinda (?) in Ranboo's pov (third person but like,,,you see his thoughts), but there's so much going on that it kinda feels like it's jumping around? Sorry for that, I'm used to writing w/a 2 littles max per caregiver ratio, so this was different. I've also never written Phil as a caregiver before besides his brief appearance over in my 'Mister Nook' series. okay I'm done rambling,,,enjoy the fic please!

--

There was a very specific feeling that came to him when he met up with his friends. A weirdly comforting feeling, a reassurance that he had finally found his people.

In an internet dad, a fellow faceless streamer who used a pig as his icon, a song writer, a bee-loving teenager, and another who was known for wearing red and white. He felt just a bit out of place in this dynamic, SBI were the ones that were close. SBI plus Tubbo wasn't an odd pairing either, and it almost seemed as if Ranboo was only there because Tubbo was.

But that doubt seemed to wash away with the welcoming energy that the car ride to Phil and Kristin's home was filled to the very brim with. Tommy and Wilbur arguing like brothers while Ranboo and Tubbo joked about. The half-joking stern look that Phil gave him through the rear view mirror when he made an inappropriate joke. The soft feeling that Techno teasingly ruffling his hair left in his chest.

This group felt like family.

Of course, he had a perfectly good set of parents back home, but this was different. In a good way, though. This home wasn't his, it was Phil's, but he was surprisingly comfortable here. He was comfortable with his close friends.

"Breakfast is ready!"

He jolted awake with a slight shock when he heard knocking and shouting outside of the door of the room he was staying in, the noise startling him from his sleep. He rubbed at his eyes and stretched his arms above his head as the sleepiness started fading from his mind, clocking the voice as Tommy's as he processed his surroundings. It was his second day at the Philza Minecraft's, the first being made up of mostly content creation.

They had all been shown to their respective guest rooms late last night after quite a few movies and a half-asleep conversation full of laughing and heartfelt emotions. Today was supposed to be a chill day, and the next they'd be exploring the area just around Phil and Kristen's home. It was Ranboo's second time in the UK, and just like last time, he wanted to explore and get a feel for the place he'd be temporarily living in.

He fished some clothes out of his suitcase, pulling them on and discarding his pajamas in a white laundry hamper he had been given for that exact purpose. Then, he sat on the bed, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it. He chuckled as he saw a picture of their entire group with a fan they had run into the day prior, just after he was picked up from the airport, remembering how many similar ones had been taken during his last meet up.

He thought back to the months he spent at Tubbo's house just a while ago, it was one of the funnest parts of his life if he was honest, and now he was right back in the UK for another long meet up. This one was supposed to be a month, at least. SBI and the Bee Duo all under one roof for an entire month! Twitter had freaked out completely when they heard of this arrangement.

During his last trip to the UK, he found out something interesting after revealing something about himself to Tubbo. He admitted to his habit of age regressing to his friend during a late night conversation, only to be met with a 'me too' and then being asked if he wanted to call some friends. This response had confused him, but he said agreed, figuring that there had to be some logic to this.

And after an hour long conversation with Techno, Tommy, Wilbur, and Phil, he learned about an ongoing secret dynamic between the group. Tommy, Tubbo, Phil, and Wilbur were all also regressors. This was a lot of information to process at around 6 am during an all-nighter, but he was glad to know he wasn't alone.

Almost immediately after finding out about his headspace, Phil insisted on taking care of him, messaging him more often and helping him regress over video calls. And over the process of a few weeks, Ranboo had been officially added to the group of littles Phil cared for regularly.

The man took the time to learn his headspace range, things that upset him, how to deal with him when he did misbehave (though the occasion was rare, especially compared to someone like Little Tommy), all in the name of making sure he was cared for. It was sweet, really, and sometimes the boy felt bad for all the man did for him.

He pushed these thoughts away as he heard his name called by his father figure from the kitchen. He groaned, exiting off of Twitter and making his way out of the room and down the hallway, through the living room and into the kitchen. "I'm coming, I'm coming," he mumbled, still tired. He took his seat between Tommy and Tubbo after entering the kitchen/dining area and was quite overwhelmed with the amount of greetings and 'good morning!'s' he got all at once.

"How'd you sleep, hun?" he smiled when he heard Kristin's voice, humming a bit, settling on responding to her instead of facing the rest of the ongoing chaos in the kitchen.

"Pretty good, I think. Still waking up, though," he admitted. He watched the woman bring a plate over to him, setting a stack of pancakes in front of him. "Thank you."

Before she got the chance to respond, Tommy was shouting all to loud for how early it was in the morning. He sounded whiny, too. "Why does he get his first? I was awake before him," he complained, earning a response from Wilbur as he entered the room, his obviously messy hair temporarily contained by a beanie.

"Maybe because he's not throwing a fit over everything like you are," He made his way over to the table as Phil shot the both of them a look. Ranboo minded his own business, digging into his food, he knew that he wasn't in trouble. The brown haired man sat next to Tommy, leaning back in his seat casually.

"Will, be nicer to your brother. And Tommy, be patient, or else both of you will be put in timeout the moment we finish eating." he threatened, half joking.

"What?" Tommy said, sounding shocked as his eyes went wide.

"I second that, none of us are little!" Tubbo finally spoke up after laughing at the situation the whole time.

"Tom-tom here is sure acting like a baby, though," Wilbur teased, sitting back up to ruffle the blond's hair, continuing even when the younger whined and attempted to shove his hand away. He only retracted it when Phil gave him another stern look.

"Stop teasing him and eat your food," he told him as Kristin brought over plates for Tommy and Wilbur. "Where's Techno?" Phil seemed like he wanted to continue talking to Wilbur, but was distracted when he noticed that someone was missing. Wilbur smirked, sticking his tongue out to Tommy, as if bragging about being let off the hook.

Even Ranboo could admit, even out of headspace, everyone seemed to fill their roles in the family dynamic well. Wilbur was the cocky middle brother who somehow simultaneously gets in the most trouble and gets away with everything, Techno is the oldest who's mostly calm but will join in on the antics when it seems fun, and Tommy's the youngest who will play the 'innocent' card at any chance he could get.

Ranboo and Tubbo's exact roles were a bit undecided, but they seemed to consist of a lot of watching the scene play out and somehow getting dragged into an argument they had nothing to do with. Phil acted as their dad, who kept peace between everyone and tried to keep things calm, while Kristen played the role of a sweet mother-type figure.

When they were little, it was a bit different, but the general feeling of family remained the same.

After a few chaotic minutes of gathering everyone up and calming everyone down, they were all sitting around the table and talking in a much more civil manner. Things got loud once again only a few minutes later when Tommy knocked over his cup of orange juice.

"Sorry!" he squeaked, "I didn't mean to!" he defended, looking up at Phil apologetically. He immediately seemed much younger, a light pout on his lips as he apologized for his clumsiness.

"It's alright, Toms." the man assured, flashing a soft smile to let the regressor know that he was alright, reaching for the paper towels across the table. In just a few moments it was like there was never a spill in the first place. "Can you get him a sippy cup, please?" he asked Kristin, who immediately set off to get the requested item.

"I told you he was a baby," Wilbur spoke up next, predictably earning protests from the clearly regressing boy next to him.

"I'm not a baby!" the younger cried, looking to his other  "Techno, tell him I'm not a baby!"

"I mean, only babies need sippy cups," the other man leaned a bit closer the table, his words causing the teenager's eyes to widen.

"Can't Kristin just refill dis one?" he questioned, holding up the cup he had knocked over and looking to Phil hopefully.

"Sorry, buddy, I just don't want you to make another mess." Phil sighed, shooting a disappointed look towards Wilbur and Techno. Ranboo sunk further into his seat, trying to avoid getting pulled into the conflict. He wasn't sure how the others could handle Phil's 'disappointed look' so easily, the boy was very much scared of it.

"I'm not gonna!" Tommy whined, practically glaring at the cup that was set in front of him a moment later. He huffed and crossed his arms, refusing to drink or eat anything.

"This is what happens when you make fun of him, he gets all insecure and stubborn," Tubbo groaned, rolling his eyes as if they had been through this process a million times over.

"Tubbo's right, apologize to him," the oldest man ordered. Wilbur and Techno looked at him as if this suggestion was completely outrageous, so he added, "Now."

"Okay, okay!" Wilbur gave in, sounding defensive, "I'm sorry, Toms. You're not a baby."

"Really?" he lowered his arms, finally uncrossing them.

"No, you're just clumsy and we're sorry for making fun of you for it," Techno sounded very reluctant, but he followed Phil's orders. After these apologies, the rest of breakfast went fairly smoothly. By the end of it, Tommy was very obviously fully regressed and making a useless attempt to hide it.

It was a fairly often occurrence that Tommy slipped just for fun, acting and being treated like a kid was something he just liked. He got to be the annoying little brother and watch cartoons while he did it, it was a win-win across the board.

But Phil and Kristin knew, that whenever one of them slipped over their voice chats, anyone else in the discord call would too. And now, they were all actually together under one roof, so he was sure he'd have five littles to deal with by noon at latest.

--

As predicted, all of the boys ended up in littlespace, slipping one after another like a line of dominoes getting knocked over. After some reassurance from Phil, Tommy allowed himself to slip, and he dragged his best friend into a game of pretend. And the two toddler minded teenagers decided they wanted to play with Techno and Ranboo as well, and Wilbur soon followed when Phil babied him a bit to much.

At first, it was quite loud, and there was a lot of conflict and disagreements between the boys. Eventually, after everyone but Ranboo had managed to get in some sort of trouble, Phil sat the boys down to watch cartoons. Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur were out like a light one episode in. Wilbur was in babyspace, he always needed extra sleep, and Tommy tired himself out by crying when he assumed Phil was upset with him.

Tubbo, however, was just tired. No excuse, that's just how he was sometimes.

Ranboo and Techno were older then the rest of them, and far more behaved, so they didn't get quite as much attention earlier in the day. Phil was quite busy comforting Wilbur and trying to keep Tommy and Tubbo in check, and it didn't help that Kristin had to leave the house. To make up for this, Phil wanted to do something special with them while the other three took their mid-day naps.

After a while of Ranboo and Techno watching cartoons, trying to stay quiet so that their friends could sleep peacefully, Phil spoke up.

"Boys, quietly follow me," he whispered, managing to get out from under from where Wilbur was laying cuddling up to him without waking the boy up. Techno and Ranboo glanced at each other, seemingly confused but intrigued. They scrambled to get up, following their caregiver into the kitchen.

"What are we doin', dada?" Techno questioned once they entered the other room. They had left the cartoons on, so Phil was fairly sure they wouldn't be able to hear what was going on in the kitchen.

"You guys are gonna be my little helpers for snack time, okay? I got some special treats and such for everyone and we need to put everything together before everyone gets up!" the man explained in a quiet but excited tone, speaking even quieter as if his next words were a secret, "And if you guys do a good job, I'll even give you an extra cookie."

Ranboo's face immediately lit up, and he bounced on his feet as he awaited more instructions. Phil specifically chose him and Techno out of all of them, they must be special. It was like a super secret mission, just for them!

"So we're all gonna have fruit and vegetables before we get to the sweets," he continued on, going over the fridge and pulling out various fruits and vegetables, "Techno, could you wash the strawberries and blueberries for me?" he asked.

"Mhm!" he agreed, excited to be able to help. It seem weird that Phil's idea of "something special" was just putting them to work, it was more about the idea of making them feel special. They were more well behaved then everyone else, so they got extra time with Phil and a cookie.  

"What do I get to do?" Ranboo questioned. He watched as Technoblade took the containers with the fruit he was told to wash over to the sink.

"Are you big enough to pour drinks for everyone?" he questioned, pulling various new sippycups and bottles from a hidden spot in one of the cabinets. The two littles gasped, completely distracted from their tasks, "Yes, some of these are for you two." he chuckled at their excitement, coming over to Ranboo and holding out a simple but cute black and white sippy cup.

"I thought maybe you could put stickers on it," Phil explained. The boy nodded quickly, practically attacking him in a hug. "Okay, go on, get to work now." he said, motioning over to the counter where the rest of them sat.

As requested, they got to work. Techno helped wash the fruit and put then on their plates, while Ranboo filled the sippy cups and bottles with whatever drink each one of them liked best. His demise came when he tried to sneak soda into his sippy cup without asking, and he managed to spill it all over the counter.

"Uh oh! Spill on aisle Ranboo!" Phil joked, grabbing the paper towels and running over to help. Immediately, the boy panicked. He was the well behaved one, and Phil was gonna find out that he was trying to be sneaky! His guilt was obviously clear to the caregiver, because the next thing he said was, "Don't worry, accidents happen."

The gentle and reassuring tone he used only made him feel worse. It only took the man a moment to actually realize what the boy had been pouring into the cup. "Ranboooo," the caregiver held out his words, sounding disappointed, "You know that you could've asked for soda if you really wanted it, right? You've been so good all day, I would've given it to you."

"Really?" he asked, pouting when the man took the cup and dumped the liquid in the sink. He then ripped paper towels from the roll and wiped up the remainder of the drink from the counter.

"Yeah, I would've," Phil affirmed, "But trying to sneak around me isn't okay. You told me you were putting juice in here. That's lying, and I know for a fact that you're big enough to know that's not allowed. " he tsked, causing Ranboo to look down at his feet.

"M' sorry," he mumbled, ready to cry over such a small thing. He knew what he was doing was dumb, Phil rarely let them have sweets like that when they were small due to the fact that they got hyper.

"Don't cry, sweetheart, you're not in trouble," the man assured with a sigh, softening his tone immediately, rinsing the cup out as he spoke. Ranboo still felt bad, despite the gentle reassurance. He glanced up to see the man filling his cup with his favorite drink besides the over sugary soda: strawberry lemonade. "Here you go." he tightened the lid onto it and held it out for him.

"Sorry, dada," he apologized again, his eyes still glassy as he took it in his hands. Phil sighed a bit, opening his arms and pulling him close.

"You're okay, buddy, I promise you." he spoke gently, "Little boys make mistakes sometimes, it's alright." The man knew that while Ranboo might've been regressed to an older age, he was still quite sensitive, and he always felt overly bad whenever he got in trouble. Even if he had managed to get away with sneaking the soda, he would've owned up to what he did guiltily after just a few sips of the drink.

That's just how he was.

"M' all done!" Techno's voice interrupted them as he finished placing the snack-filled plates in their spot at the table, besides their respective sippy cups. Phil pulled away from the other regressor and ruffled his hair, smiling at him before addressing the other little.

"Good job, honey. You're such a good helper," he complimented, before looking back to Ranboo. "And so are you." he reminded. Ranboo giggled a bit, feeling happiness well up in his chest at the praise despite any childish guilt. The giggles only increased when his caregiver tapped the button of his nose, causing him to scrunch it up.

Once he was sure that Ranboo was alright, or at least doing a bit better, he gave them their next instructions. One good thing about Ranboo was that it was easy to sway his emotions to the more positive end if it was done before any tears came. "Take your seats and eat, I'm gonna wake up your brothers and have them pick up their toys from earlier, then they'll join you." he told them, before leaving the room.

Technoblade's eyes followed Phil as he exited the room, and he waited until he was sure he was out of earshot to say anything. "Psst, 'anboo," Techno leaned close to the table, grabbing the other boy's attention.

"Wha'?" he questioned, popping a grape in his mouth and tilting his head in curiousity.

"We should scare daddy when he comes back in! It'll be so cool," he suggested, "We can wait by the door and jump out!"

"Hmm...," Ranboo looked over to where the other pointed, considering his options, "We 'posed to be eatin'." he pointed out, shaking his head.

"We won' get in trouble, it's just playin' round," he tried to sound convincing. It seemed to work, because Ranboo reconsidered, before hesitantly nodding. He grabbed one more grape and his sippy cup before standing up, Techno leading him over to the entrance of the room. They were concealed behind the wall on either side of the doorway.

They listened Phil woke the others up and helped them put the toys away, excitement ramping up as they waited. To their shock, Tommy entered first, fully ready to greet him in his usual loud tone. Techno quickly put his finger to his lip, shaking his head to signal him to be quiet. Tommy's eyes widened as he realized what was happening, deciding to duck behind the with his older brother.

It was then that Phil entered, carrying Wilbur. The boys jumped out from their spots, exclaiming different variations of "boo!" and "AHH!", breaking out into giggles immediately after. Wilbur squeaked, the sound startling him a bit, but he didn't seem upset. "Well hello, little ones," Phil chuckled, "If I remember correctly, you boys are supposed to be at the table."

"Jus' wanted to scare you! We go eat now," Techno assured, taking Tommy's wrist in his hand and pulling him over to the table. Ranboo however, peeked behind Phil to see if Tubbo was coming.

"Where Tubs at?" he pulled on Phil's shirt before he could walk away, whining a bit.

"He had a bit of an accident," the man admitted, "He's a bit smaller now, but he'll be out soon, okay?"

"Okay..." he trailed off, looking out into the living room, completely set on standing there until his best friend was able to join him.

"How about you head over to the table, kiddo?" his caregiver questioned, earning a pout from the little. "Okay, okay, you can wait here for him!" he decided, figuring there was nothing wrong with it. With a forehead kiss, Phil left him at the doorway.

"Tubbo! We gots apple slices for you!" he rambled excitedly when his friend finally did arrive, running towards him and grabbing his hand. He started to pull him further into the kitchen, but the mentally younger of the two stumbled a bit, seemingly clumsier then he was earlier in the day.

Ranboo realized that he had a pacifier in his mouth now, and he saw Phil replacing his sippy cup with a bottle out of the corner of his eye. He had worked hard to put apple juice in that sippy cup, he thought, pouting a bit.

"M' sorry, didn' mean to make you almost fall! We can go slow," he decided, earning a thankful smile from the other regressor. "Are you gonna say anything?" he asked, walking beside him. As they approached the table, Phil replied for the boy.

"He's a bit younger, bud, he might not be up for talking," he explained, "You know what it's like to be so little that you feel like a baby. Can we all be understanding? He's only a bit older then Wilbur at the moment." "

Tubbo seemed quite embarrassed as he sunk into his seat, pulling his pacifier from his mouth to eat his food. There were sounds of agreement around the table. Ranboo was curious as to what exactly made Tubbo slip so much younger then he usually did, but he didn't voice this curiosity, settling on eating his food in favor of not embarrassing his friend anymore then he already was. .

"These are yucky!" Tommy claimed, pushing his plate with carrots and ranch away from him.

"You like carrots and ranch, what are you talking about?" Phil sounded tired and just a bit annoyed.

"Don' want em," he shook his head, whining just as he had that morning when Wilbur teased him.

"If you eat them you'll get a cookie," the caregiver bribed.

"What type of cookie?" the toddler minded boy squinted his eyes, as if considering this, as if it was a negotiation of sorts.

"Sugar cookie, chocolate chip, I think we have Oreos too...whatever you could want," this definitely caught the boys interest.

"Chocolate chip?" his eyes went wide with excitement, which was only intensified when Phil nodded. Immediately, he uncrossed his arms and pulled his plate back towards him. Phil seemed satisfied with this, ruffling his hair.

The boys were still waking up, so Phil asked them to talk about their elaborate games from earlier in the day to keep them occupied. So, as they ate their snacks, they giggled about imaginary wars and adventures and argued over who won their dramatic plastic sword duels. Eventually, the caregiver gave them their promised sweets before sending them back off to play.

"Ranboo, you left your sippy cup in the kitchen," Phil tapped the boy's shoulder and distracted him from his game of peek-a-boo with Tubbo. He quickly discovered that his friend seemed much to little to participate in any games he'd usually play, so he did what he always saw Phil do with Wilbur: play a simpler one.

It was obviously much more entertaining for the littler of the two, but Ranboo was happy to hear his friend's giggles and squeaks. "Oh! Thanks, dada!" the boy reached up to take his sippy cup from the caregiver as he was sitting on the floor and Phil was standing. Ranboo gasped when he took a drink, feeling bubbles on his tongue.

Immediately, Phil put a finger to his lips and gave him a warning look. This made the boy giggle a bit as he nodded, understanding the signal. "Thank you!" he repeated, smiling when his hair was ruffled softly. The moment didn't last long, Tommy called Phil over for something, and it was back to peek-a-boo with his best friend.

Ranboo didn't mind it, though, peek-a-boo was fun. Being with everyone was fun, even if it meant he got a bit less attention due to there being so much going on. It all evened out, he got to be a snack time helper! And he got an extra cookie! If you asked him, that was pretty awesome.

In the next few days, they'd all get back into making more collaborative content, as that was the point of this meet up, but for now, it was just time to play. To spend time together, to cuddle, and giggle, and make far to much noise in the name of fun. To just be a family.

That was the specific feeling that came to Ranboo with this meet up. The comforting feeling that bubbled in his chest whenever he got a forehead kiss or his hair ruffled by Phil, or when he played babyish games with his friends when they regressed younger then him.

This was the thing that clouded his mind whenever he regressed with this group specifically, or when they were in the car, joking about anything and everything as they got closer and closer to their destination. A feeling that consistently made his life better, the feeling that brought a smile to his face everyday...

The Feeling of Family.

--

A/N: I really hope you liked that adorable mess of 4500 words! I appreciate reblogs and likes, but no matter what, thanks for reading to the end! Did you like the chaotic feeling that five littles/so many people brought into my fic? I kinda had to switch up my normal formulas to make room for so many characters, there's a reason I literally put three character to sleep halfway through the fic hjsikajsa. Did I write Phil well? I tried to portray how a caregiver w/so many littles would act somewhat realistically? Kind of overwhelmed but managing. Also, did you like me portraying ranboo as 'the angle little' of the group? idk I felt like it fit his personality in the scenario. If you reply with/send an ask/reblog with feedback, you can answer those questions, leave a request for something (whether it be in the universe father into the month-long meetup timeline I set up or just another fic), state your general opinions on the fic, or just leave a strand of emojis if words are hard. No matter what, it means a lot! I hope you all have a great day!!!!

[amor-immortalem]

Everything Undesired chapter 5

A/N: this went in a completely different direction than the original comic did but I think its better this way. More angstier.

Chapter 4

The glow of blue fire emanates from the Witches’ house. As the three brothers watched, the child tucked safely into Lucifer’s arm, the mood was solemn.

“So, it’s over? What happens now?” Beel asked.

“We go home,” The Avatar of Pride replies, “And we help Mammon do his best to move past this...” He turns to look at his brothers, the glow from the fire casting a dark shadow over his face. “We’re finished here. Let’s go.”

A portal was opened as the eldest walked through followed by the others. On the other side, he found Levi and Belphegor trying to move Satan’s old crib from the attic down to Arella’s old room.

“Come on, Levi, put your back into it!” Belphie said as they moved down the stairs carefully. “I’m practically carrying this thing on my own here.”

“I'm trying! A shut in like me isn’t meant to be moving something so heavy.” Levi groaned as he hefted the crib up further.

Lucifer only cleared his throat as the seventh and third-born brothers looked his way. “Where’s Mammon?”

“I used my powers to put him back to sleep so he could rest up before the kid got here.” The Avatar of Sloth replied. “He doesn’t need to be over-tired and dealing with an infant at the same time. It’s a recipe for disaster, if you ask me. ”

At the commotion, Arella came out of the kitchen where she was washing out all of the old baby bottles they would need. “Oh, you’re back. I can take him now. Beel, would you help them with the crib please? It’ll be going in my old room for the time being, and Satan, would you finish drying the bottles for me, please?”

Both brothers nodded with Beel stepping forth to take the crib from his brothers and Satan headed to the kitchen. Levi and Belphie let out exhausted sighs as they headed off to their rooms and the only two left now in the entrance hall were Lucifer and Arella. She held her arms out for the little one and Lucifer was all too happy to oblige her.

With a small cry of discontentment, the baby settled into her arms quickly as she shushed him. She rocked him gently until he was back to sleep. Seeing her step so readily into the role of motherhood left the demon impressed.

“He’s already had a diaper change around two hours ago and he ate around an hour ago so he should be fine for a little bit.”

”Alright, he is frightfully thin though which worries me, but he’s in good hands now.”

“Why are you doing this, Arella? You know you don’t have to and yet here you are, embracing a child that’s not even yours.”

“Do I need a reason?” She smiles as she looked up at him. “I don’t think I do. I suppose if I have to have a reason it would be that I just want to help Mammon. He can’t do this alone. Don’t you think that’s enough?”

The Avatar of Pride only nodded. “You humans never cease to amaze me with your generosity. Has he thought of a name yet?”

“He threw a couple names out there but ultimately he couldn’t decide so he asked me to choose the name from the ones he suggested.”

“And?”

“I chose the name Cyrus, from the Latin meaning sun. Right now, it’s a very dark time in our lives, but I hope one day he’ll be bright like a little ray of sunshine.”

“Very thoughtful of you,” The demon hums. “But are you sure you’ll be alright tonight? You’ve been up nearly all night. You have to be exhausted by now.”

“I’ll be alright. This isn’t the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter. When I graduated from Cambridge a couple years back, I earned myself a degree in biochemical engineering. I can’t tell you the number of sleepless nights I had cramming in last minute reviews. This won’t be anything compared to those. I’m obviously not planning to go to RAD tomorrow, so I can just sleep when Cyrus sleeps.”

“You can take online courses then. We’re going to try to pass him off as your child for that to work you’ll need to be absent from RAD for an extended period of time. If word gets out that my brother was assaulted, the mockery he’ll face will be absolutely ridiculous. It’ll be easy since demons don’t know much about human anatomy. We can always say it was a surprise pregnancy and you never showed.”

Arella only nodded at that. “Thank you,” she turned and headed to her old room for the night to settle the baby.

----------------------------------------------

Mammon slept for a full eight hours before waking up with a start. While he felt rested, there was also an odd sense of worry flowing through him. He looked around frantically and then realized what was missing. Arella wasn’t with him. He got out of bed and made his way around the house looking for his mate. She would be in the last place he looked- in her room. He shrunk back at the sight of his child resting against her chest, as a soft purring noise filled the room. The sight reminded him just how much he wanted them to have a child of their own together.

The demon stood there, mesmerized by the sight in front of him until his human noticed him. She motioned for him to join her on the bed, a bright smile enveloped her features as he did just that.

“He’s beautiful, love.” She said as she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you want to try to hold him?”

He shook his head as he rested his cheek against her. “I don’t know if I can right now...” The Avatar of Greed only frowned. He wanted to hold Cyrus but he still felt like none of this was real. “It feels like a bad dream... Like I’ll wake up any second now.”

“That’s alright. If it helps, you could pretend that he was always our son to begin with. It might help you in the long run.”

“Do ya think... maybe I can trick myself like that?” He reached out and stroked the child’s cheek. “’Rella, I don’t get it... How can somethin’ so beautiful be born from somethin’ so horrible?”

“Sometimes the best things come from tragedy, Love. I’m so proud of you for being strong enough to take him in, do you know that?”

Mammon would only nod in response as a tiny hand came to wrap around his finger. For a moment all the air was stolen out of his chest as he recoiled from the contact slightly. The feeling of a crushing weight on his chest that he had only felt in his worst nightmares had returned. Suddenly, he wondered if he made the right decision as the realization set in that he was a father now. What if he was never able to love his son? What kind of damage would that do to his child? Could he do this?

“Mammon?”

“I-I’m fine. Don’t worry,” he takes a few deep breaths and he’s able to calm himself. “I'll take him now. Hafta get past this at some point. I hafta be the parent he needs.”

“You will be. I have faith in you.” Arella kissed his cheek before carefully transferring Cyrus to his father. “I know you’ll be a fantastic father once you’re able to see him separately from what his mother and aunts did to you.”

He only nodded as Arella cards her fingers through his hair. He thought this would be a monumental challenge at first, and it still was but as long as she was here, he thought maybe things would go smoother.

—————————————————————

The crying was the worst part for Mammon and Cyrus was unfortunately a fussy baby. Over the past few weeks since he’d been brought home, there were multiple times where the white-haired demon had to leave the room whenever his child cried or pass him off to his adoptive mother, feeling too physically sick to listen to or even look at the child.

The end of the spring term was nearly upon them and since exams would be coming up. Mammon took every chance he could to stay late at RAD for some extra studying with Satan and Asmodeus, knowing he had to get his grades back up. But the guilt was eating away at him. Arella was at home all day, typically alone, with his child. Any good father- any good mate- would be rushing home to give his partner a break to take time for herself and Mammon knows this but even when he doesn’t stay late at school he finds himself dragging his feet to get home.

He stared and stared at the work book in front of him. It was curses and hexes, one of his most hated subjects and arguably his worst grade. Eventually, he just shut the work book, taking of his glasses and just rubbing his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. This caught the attention of his younger brothers.

”You alright, Mams?” Asmo asked as he set his pen down.

”Am I a bad father?” The white-haired demon countered with his own question.

”No, of course not.” Satan frowned. “Given everything that happened, I’d say you’re doing great.”

”It doesn’t feel like it,” he frowned. “This is my kid and yet it feels like Arella’s doin’ all the work. Takin’ care of him all the time, stayin’ home with him all the time… It should be me doin’ all the work not her! I’m the one who said I’d keep him and yet I can’t bring myself to do anything for him. A-And its not like I don’t know how to take care of a baby. I’ve done it before.”

The Avatar of Greed ran a hand through his hair in frustration before packing up his things.

”Where are you going?” Satan yelled after his brother before being shushed by the librarian.

”Home! To apologize to my mate and force myself to take care of my child.”

If you want to be tagged for updates, let me know

Next

Masterlist 2

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Fictober 2021 Monster Lovers Extravaganza

By popular demand, this is my all inclusive Monster AU drabble palooza starting October 1st and ending on Halloween night.

Some ground rules before we get started.

Send all request to my ask box. If it is sent as a submission or into my messages, I will not answer them.

Do not ask me if I got your request. Just assume I have I'll get to it when and if I can. If you message me multiple times asking about it, I will delete it.

If I do answer your request, please reblog and/or comment. It's just common courtesy. I'm not getting paid here. Your engagement is my payment.

And now, on with the show.

Step 1: Select a Character

Chose any from the following fandoms:

Star Wars (Original Trilogy, Prequel Trilogy, Sequel Trilogy, The Clone Wars, Rebels, Thrawn Trilogy, Rogue One, The Mandalorian)

Marvel/MCU

The Magnificent Seven

Star Trek: TOS/AOS

M*A*S*H

Any of My OCs

Anything else you've seen me reblog: Hammer Horror, ACD Sherlock, Good Omens, etc.

Step 2: Select Your Monster

Vampire AU

Werewolf AU

Dragon AU

Demon AU

Angel AU

Mermaid AU

Fae AU

Ghost AU

Alien AU

Shifter AU

Or any other kind of monster or supernatural being your heart desires; let's get weird

Step 3: Select a Prompt

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

"We can’t keep doing this.”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“W- What are you doing?”

"I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“I dare you!”

“It’s you, it’s always been you.”

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“You have to tell me why we’re committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologize for this. Not anymore.”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

"You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

"You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

"We should get a puppy!”

Don’t apologize. That’s not the point. Did you mean it?”

”I thought I lost you”

”They don’t like dogs. It wasn’t going to work out.”

“I feel like I’m losing control.”

“I’m too sober for this shit.”

“God, I missed you.”

“I let you down. How am I supposed to forgive myself for that?”

“Okay, the blood isn’t mind, calm down.”

“Did you really think I’d leave?”

“There’s a difference between being brave and being stupid.”

“You’re proud of me?”

“Is this supposed to be this hard?”

“Like I’d choose the laws of physics over you.”

[Insert Your Own]

Step 4: Send to My Ask Box

Please make sure to specify that your request is for Fictober.

Step 5: Profit

Happy Halloween Everybody. :D

[alovesongshewrote]

If you’re taking requests, maybe something about Doux finding the reader absolutely delirious from lack of sleep? I may or may not have gotten literally any sleep last night and although I managed to get through my morning routine pretty efficiently I FEEL my body just wiping out. I will be comatose within the hour.

Sleep, Darling | Hisirdoux Casperan x Reader

Plot:  you’ve been awake for too long and it is not doing you any favours.  Thank god for punk wizards who care about your wellbeing, amirite lads?  (Also, the pure Irony that this is getting posted at like, 2:40 am where i am, rip me i guess)

Word Count: 2,292

Warnings:  A bit of blood is mentioned in passing, the reader isn’t human and probably has adhd or smthn.  Also, Friends is mentioned, like, the tv show, so that’s a thing!

A/N:   if you look closely, you can actually see me projecting onto this one.  I hope you got some sleep anon.

Tags:   @furblrwurblr @einahpetsyarcip @sorrels-scribbling @anxious-stitcher @alive-and-afraid @animedweeb333 @douxiesdamsel @saroski05

Time isn’t real.  It’s a social construct made to bring order to the general chaos that is human existence.  That was why you were up at 5 a.m for the second, maybe third, night in a row.  Was it healthy?  Probably not, but you didn’t need sleep, you needed answers.  Answers to what?  Who knows at this point, honestly.

You couldn’t say you were surprised when you finally noticed the late, or early hour.  You just shrugged it off and went “fuck it, all-nighter,” which was fine for the moment.  But time’s a bitch, and that moment was over pretty fast.  By noon, you were ready to collapse.  The three cups of coffee did not help.  Instead, they made you vibrate at a frequency that could quite possibly break glass.  As much as this sucked for you, it was worse for your lovely friend and co-worker, Hisirdoux Casperan.

Now, our boi Douxie was and is madly in love with you, but shhh, it’s a secret.  You also love him, and that’s a secret too.  Neither of these secrets are well kept, and the only reason you aren’t together is general stupidity.  Literally, anyone else who watches the two of you interacting can tell that you're in love.  Hell, half the town assumes you’re together already.  The other half keeps trying to get you together.  It is not working very well.  But that’s all a digression.  What you really need to know is that Douxie loves you and watching you suffer from a lack of sleep was Not A Pleasant Experience.  You were delirious, shaky, and constantly off-balance.  You could work well enough, but it was clear that your health was not in the same zone.

The final straw came when you cut your hand on broken glass.  You’d dropped a cup, and instead of using magic, you’d tried to fix the mess by hand.  That plan did not work, and you received a bloody slash across your palm for your troubles.

“Ah.  Fuck,” you said, thinking you were whispering but instead speaking at a normal volume.

“What’s wrong, love?”

“‘S nothing, I’ve got it,” you did not got it, especially not in this state, and Douxie had the good sense to figure that out.  The blood was a pretty good hint though.

“Oh, fuzzbuckets.”

“I told you, I’m toooootally fine, there is nothing to worry about.”

“Here, (Y/N), let me help you-”

“No, no, this is, this is-” it was then that your sleep-deprived brain decided to cut off your train of thought and replace it with another, more chaotic train.  You stopped talking and just stared at Douxie for a solid minute.  Or at least it felt like a solid minute.  Time isn’t real, remember that.

“(Y-Y/N)?  You alright there, darling?”

“You’re really cute, did you know that?  Like… really cute.  Steve was right, you could be a model.”

“I-”

“Also, just gonna put it out there, I freakin’ love it when you call me darling.  Like, I know you call most people darling, but it makes me feel special.  Don’t ask why, it just does.”

Douxie wasn’t planning on asking why.  He wasn’t really planning on anything.  Your sleep-deprived half-confession had turned him from a capable individual into a blushing mess in less than a second.  You always had that effect on him, but it looked like your exhausted state was giving you a bit of an edge.

“Oh, sorry, I made it weird.  Anyway, do you think if I brewed my next coffee with Monster instead of water it would wake me up?   Because I’m still tired, and it isn’t fun.”

“I- you- I’m-”

“I think I might try it, honestly.”

“Ok, how about you don’t do that,”  Archie said, swooping in, literally and figuratively, to save the day, “Douxie, can you please get (Y/N)’s hand patched up?  It looks quite painful and they’re dripping blood onto the carpet.”

You were, in fact, dripping blood onto the carpet.  That wasn’t good, “Oh, that’s- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t fret, just go do something about that hand,” with that, Archie smacked Douxie upside the head in an attempt to snap him out of his flustered state.  It was super effective!

“Ahh, yeah.   C’mon, (Y/N), let’s,,, go,,, fix,,, that.”

“Ok,”  you stood, too tired to protest, and followed Douxie into the back of the bookstore, which was literally just his apartment.  

It was a nice place.  Very cozy, very him.  It made you want to curl up and take a nap, but to be fair, literally everything made you want to curl up and take a nap at the moment.  Regardless, his home made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and you never wanted to leave it.  Maybe it was the interior decorating, but you knew it was because your favourite person lived there.  What you didn’t know, or didn’t realize, was that you’d just spoken your entire thought process out loud and Douxie heard every word of it.  Once again, the boy was a blushing mess.  If you were awake enough to process things, you would have found it cute.  Or you’d be dead from embarrassment, that one is a bit of a toss-up.

Fighting through his flustered state, Douxie pulled you into the bathroom and collected a first aid kit from under the counter.  While he focused on getting things done, you curled into a ball in his bathtub.  For some reason, your exhausted brain decided that sitting on the edge of the bathtub simply did not Vibe™ but sitting inside the tub was better than nothing, and so you just,,, curled up there.  Douxie was only a little surprised to see you there.

“(Y/N)?”

“D’you remember that time on Friends when Winona Ryder played a closeted lesbian?  That was a fuckin’ trip, man.”

“(Y/N), darling-”

“That whole episode is just- it’s just strange.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Hehe, Stranger Things.”

“(Y/N), love, I need to see your hand.”

“Oh, fuck, yeah, I forgot.  Here,” you sat up, extending your hand out to the wizard.  He took it, sitting on the edge of the bathtub which was fine for him to do, I guess.  Not you though, you were stuck in bathtub jail for sleep deprivation crimes.

You squinted up at his face as he tended to the nasty scratch you’d given yourself.  You didn’t have the capacity to focus on what he was doing, so instead you focused on him.  He was pretty, as you’d said before, but that was always true.  At that exact moment, his brows were furrowed in concentration, his eyes concerned and his jaw set.  His hands were steadier than yours could ever hope to be, especially since you hadn’t been sleeping.  Overall, he looked kind of mad, so you sunk down into your bath-prison, silent and waiting for him to finish so you could get back to work.

Douxie was not mad at you.  He was upset that you hadn’t been sleeping, but he wasn’t mad.  He was just worried for your health.  Your wizard did not appreciate seeing you shaking and sleep-deprived.  He didn’t appreciate it when your current state led you to injure yourself, either.

He wrapped up your hand and gave it a small pat, “Done.  Now, come on, you’re taking a nap.”

His voice surprised you.  It was gentle, calm, not at all angry like you’d suspected.  You found yourself so lost in it that you didn’t realize what he’d said until he said your name, trying to snap you out of whatever haze you were in.

“Oh, wait, what?  No, shit, I have to get back to work-”

“No, you need sleep.”

“Sleep is for the weak, I need to go-” you stood and almost fell over.  You probably would have broken something if Douxie didn’t catch you.  You hadn’t exactly expected to end up in his arms today, and despite the heat rising in your face and neck, you were not complaining.

“(Y/N)-”

“I’m sorry, Douxie, I-”

“You need to sleep.  Please, (Y/N), don’t make me use a spell on you.”

You froze for a second before a smirk crept onto your face, “You wouldn’t.”

“I-”

“You wouldn’t use a spell on meeeeee-” the smirk grew into a full smile as you let yourself go limp, forcing him to move his hands to support you better and pull you closer to him.  Was that your plan?  Maybe.  Was it part of a second, bigger plan?  Also yes.

“You wanna bet?”

“Sure.”

“I-” and then he went silent.  There was a moment of tension where you just stared into each other’s eyes, holding your breath to see what the other person would do.  Your gaze fell to his lips as his fell to yours.  For that moment, your thoughts began to wander far out of your control.  Douxie’s mind was also running rampant but in a different direction.  You were right, he thought.  He couldn't use magic on you.  As far as he knew, you were a human.  Just a mortal being who crawled their way into his life and stayed there, improving the quality of it greatly.  If there was even the slightest chance that a spell may have negative side effects, which most sleep spells did, he wouldn’t dare risk it, especially not on you.  He sighed, tightening his grip on your waist, “You’re right.”

“What?”  Oop, plan going sideways, PLAN GOING SIDEWAYS!

“I’m- not going to use magic on you,” he helped you to stand, and moved to take a step back before you grabbed his hoodie and pulled him back to you, ignoring the sharp sting in your hand.

“Ok, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on there wizard boy-” you took a moment to pull yourself out of the bathtub entirely, “You can’t give up that easily.”

“Wha-”

“Come onnnnnn, make it fun, make it exciting.  Put a spell on me or whatever, just-” you went quiet for a second, but for once you weren’t distracted.  Just quiet.  You had to face facts.  Your plan had failed, and now you had nothing but the truth.

“(Y/N)?”

“Just make my brain stop.  For just two seconds.”

“What?”

“Please.  I’m running on a motor and I can’t stop myself.  I haven’t slept and I have no choice in the matter.”

“(Y/N)-”

“Look, just, take away my free-will if you have to.  Knock me out, magic or otherwise, I just want five seconds where I’m not on hyperdrive,” you were standing on your own now, though Douxie’s arms were still wrapped around you and you hadn’t let go of his hoodie, “Please.”

The bathroom was silent for a minute.  It took that long for Douxie to process what you’d just said.  You feared, for that moment, that you’d said too much.  You hadn't.  Not to him, anyway.

“Come on.”

“What?”

“Come on,” he said, picking you up, effortlessly sweeping you off your feet.

“Wait, what!?” your voice was slightly more frantic, surprise lacing through your words.

“There’s more than one way to get a person to sleep.”

“Oh-?”

He didn’t respond to your question, instead, he carried you out the door and into what you could only assume was his room.  You had no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life until he set you down on the bed.

“Stay here, okay?  I’m going to make you some tea-”

“Wait!” you stopped him, grabbing his wrist as he turned to leave, “I’m… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry, my darling,” he sat in front of you on the bed, “You just need to get some sleep, okay?”

“But what about-”

“I’ll cover your shift, you don’t need to worry.”

“I-”

“Just rest, for now, love.  Please.”

“Ok,” your words were a whisper, something that Douxie could only just hear.  The next thing though, he didn’t have to strain to hear at all, “Yeah.  I meant what I said earlier, by the way.  You’re so pretty, it isn’t fair.”

He laughed at this, at you, finally seeing some humour in your shenanigans.  He relaxed now knowing that you may actually get some much-needed rest.  He stood, kissing your forehead and tracing the side of your face with a hand, rough from guitar strings and 900 years of sweeping.

“Worry not, love, you’re pretty too.”

“Hey, wait-”

“Don’t ‘hey, wait,’ me.  You are.  Now lie down, I’ll be back in a second.”

A smile crept onto your face as you followed orders.  Your emo wizard man thought you were pretty.  And he cared enough about you to let you sleep during work hours, in his home, no less.  You let yourself relax into the bed, grinning once again.  It smelled like him, like thyme and peppermint, lemongrass and sleep.  It was nice, comforting.  You could only vaguely think of Douxie as your brain finally took a fuckin breather.  It was everything you needed, honestly.

By the time Douxie came back, you were long gone, lost to your dreams and finally asleep.  He sighed a smile that matched yours on his face.  He placed the cup of tea on the bedside table before grabbing a blanket out of his closet and draping it over you.  You looked so peaceful.  Good.  You deserved some peace every now and then.

He took the cup and left you, brushing a strand of hair out of your eyes as he did.  After making his exit, he placed the still-hot tea on the counter, disregarding it for now before returning to the bookshop.

“How are they?”  his familiar asked, tail twisting in concern.

He gave a final fond look at the door before returning to business, “They’re just resting.”  And for once, you were.

[kyber-crystal]

safe with him || s.r

summary: following your reunion after weeks apart drifting through space, steve becomes an overprotective mother hen and refuses to let you out of his sight.  

words: ~1.3k

warnings: very slightly mentions of angst, soft cap, fluff. UNEDITED so it’s VERY poorly written i’m sorry

a/n: a part 2 to Lost In Space, as requested by anon! it’s been FOREVER since i first published that fic but i’m so glad you went back and read it! you can read this as a standalone too tho. POST IW---PRE-ENDGAME AU

After your touched down at the compound, Steve was refusing to leave your side. 

Whenever you moved about, he was never far behind—always staying within a foot of where you stood or sat. You wanted to protest, to reassure him you were just fine—but you understood his urge to go full-on overprotective worried mother hen mode. It was in his nature to worry. 

"Darling,” he spoke so softly it took everyone by surprise. It was a tone of voice the team rarely ever heard him use—it was a tone specifically reserved for you, and only you. 

“Hmm?” You pulled his jacket tightly around your shoulders, watching Tony from outside, worriedly peering through the glass walls. “What’s up?”

"C’mere,” he spread his arms out towards you. You didn’t hesitate to step forward, walking straight into his warm embrace. As soon as your head found its way against his heart you were at ease and your hands slid up his back in response, gently gripping the fabric of his T-shirt. 

You let out a sigh of contentment, closing your eyes as he rested his chin on your head and pressed a soft kiss to your temple—letting his lips linger there for a second longer than usual. It felt nice to be with him again. After weeks of complete separation and no contact whatsoever, you’d found yourself missing Steve so much your chest physically ached just thinking about him.

If time permitted, you would’ve stayed like that forever. You wanted nothing more, nothing less, than to have him hold you until the very end of your days—and he wanted to do the same, as well. 

Your heart felt hollowed and carved out; empty after the wake of the Snap, after the world was shocked into utter devastation. You lost your practically-siblings, Wanda and Peter, you lost your best pals, Sam, Bucky, you lost your mentor and father figure, Doctor Strange. You lost all your friends and family and you didn’t know what to do. You felt lost and alone; helpless.

You sought out comfort in the warmth of Steve’s embrace and his piercing gaze, stunning blue eyes that would never fail to keep you calm yet make your heart race at the same time. Blue eyes brimming with sheer love and adoration—for you. You don’t need to say anything for him to wrap you into a tight hug—he could read you like an open book—he knew you almost as well as you knew yourself, if not even better. “Doll, I even remember your exact order from that Thai place we always order takeout from,” he’d say, “Spicy shrimp pad thai, pineapple fried rice, and taro milk tea with 50% ice and 25% sweetness,” as well as other oddly specific facts nobody else would know unless you told them yourself or they peeked through your file, “You were born (Y/B/D) at exactly 12:01:36 a.m. You’re a Brooklyn kid, just like me,” “You love action films, crime dramas, and pulling all-nighters to watch the sunrise.”

Maybe that’s what made you let down your guard around him and trust him so easily. Maybe that’s why you felt so safe around him—there was little to nothing he didn't know about you—so there was no point in hiding.

“You’re tired,” he murmured into your hair. “When’s the last time you got any rest?”

When you didn’t answer because you were too worn out to do so, he observed your bloodshot eyes and dark circles, which told him all he needed to know. “Let’s get you sitting down again, doll. You’ve had a long day.”

You nodded numbly as he led you back to the lounge. He sat down on the plushy couch next to you, and you stretched out, resting your head in his lap. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and gently raking his fingers through your soft hair. 

“Hey, Y/N-” Bruce paused and quickly lowered his voice when he saw you’d fallen asleep. He came and carefully draped a blanket over your body before taking a step back. “Are you sure she’s alright...”

“I don’t know,” Steve exhaled, brushing stray hairs away from your face. “If her fatigue alone is telling me anything, then...”

He nodded. “Alright...why don’t you take her back to her room, Cap, and I’ll go grab the IV drip.” 

“Rogers.”

“Hey, Nat...”

“I saw that little exchange outside." He wasn’t smirking at all, just had a small smile on. “Guess you finally worked up the courage to do it, huh.”

“Actually...she initiated it. But I think I would’ve done it sooner or later,” he smiled down at your sleeping form, “I missed her.”

“I know. I did too.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m glad she’s back. I’ve had enough of you moping around trying to get drunk, when you know for a fact you can’t.”

“Natasha...”

“I’m just messing with you,” she laughed. “I gotta go talk to Rhodes about something, so you keep taking care of your girl, alright?”

“Yeah.”

...

You woke up to find yourself in bed. An IV needle was inserted into the crook of your elbow, and a worried Steve Rogers was sitting in a chair he’d pulled up to your bedside, head in your lap as he gripped your hand tightly. 

“Hi. Steve. You awake?” 

“Hmmm?” He lifted his head up and blinked several times. “Y/N! You’re awake. That’s good.”

You yawned. “What time is it?”

“A little past 10 a.m. You hungry? I can fix something up for you, if you want. How’d you sleep? Bruce had to administer some treatments for you...you were hit pretty hard after living on nothing but packaged meals and granola bars for several weeks.”

“I don’t feel like passing out anymore,” you shrugged, “So that’s good. What about you? How much sleep did you get? Or did you stay here...the entire time...”

“A few hours, on and off.”

“And when you say few hours, you really mean...a few minutes here and there, don’t you,” you said in a slightly accusatory tone. “Steve, really? I’m not a child. I’m basically not much younger than you, I can get by on my own.”

"You had me really worried, Y/N. When I didn’t see you return...I thought I’d actually lost you. I don’t even want to think about how that’d affect me if it were to be true.”

“Awww,” you stuck your bottom lip out slightly, teasing him, “Does the big, muscular, giant puppy, Captain America, care about me?”

“I'm supposed to protect you, to watch over you,” he tried defending himself, but the flush of his cheeks gave it all away. “I’m just doing my job.”

“Okay, then...” You nodded, leaning back against the headboard, the aftereffects of all the meds beginning to catch up with you. “Man, I’m tired. Doesn’t matter if I sleep 14 minutes or 14 hours, I’m always going to feel like crap.”

“But I do care about you,” Steve corrected himself, “that’s true. I always have.”

His voice was so soothing, so calming—you wanted to swoon and fall asleep to it at the same time. You felt your stomach flutter with butterflies. 

“That’s nice,” you closed your eyes, smiling sleepily, “because I care about you too. Wouldn’t have spilled all my feelings in that voice recording if I didn’t. I was scared I’d never see you again, either...”

“A recording?” He raised a brow. “What’d it say?’

“That I love you and I always have and always will,” you breathed out, eyes still closed, “But I think I’ve made that fact obvious enough already.”

“Can I kiss you?” he spoke suddenly.

"You can kiss me any day, Captain,” you smiled as you leaned in. He closed the gap and connected your lips with his. You felt a pleasant stirring sensation in your chest—and so did he. 

And you finally felt like you were home again.

[allmightluver]

First lines meme

Ooo! 😲 thank you for the tag @justanotherfoolhere !!

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20 just list them all!) See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening lines. Tag 10 authors!

I’m incredibly shy so if you would like to do this, I tag you!!

Ah I have some old stories from old fandoms (or side fandoms I should say), but as for MHA, most of my stories are just wips right now. I have approximately 5-6 stories in the works right now, however 3 are just thoughts yet, not written out, 1-2 are RP’s with another person that I’m not sure if I have the ability to share yet 😅, 1 is....extremely, well...NSFW ��� even the first line asfkgkka I’m not going to do that one, you’ll just have to read it on ao3 when it’s done 😖

However! I do have a massive story that’s been in the works for over a year now (atm it’s around 57,800 words), I’ve actually gotten stuck on it half way through and a friend is helping me by rping those parts with me. If anyone remembers from forever ago, I talked about writing a story about Toshinori actually becoming addicted to his painkillers, and overdosing during class, that’s this story. I have a good chunk of this written, so to make up for my lack of stories, I’ll post a few paragraphs of the beginning! (I hope that’s ok! 🙈)

((I should note, I don’t normally rp, the ones I’ve done are just with a close friend or two))

So, here’s a few paragraphs of what I’ve been calling “Painkiller” under the read more...

Eyelids sluggishly rise. Each blink seems to be getting slower and slower. And he’s still talking. How the soft furred mammal at the front of their table can speak for hours at a time without so much as a break is a superhuman feat. Of course, the principal isn’t human at all, which probably is how he can accomplish it.

Black eyes glance at the clock on the wall across from him. 1:50 p.m. This was supposed to be a short meeting. A quick briefing on the school’s protection and security upgrades. This is also the time to give feedback on how the procedures seem to be working. It had started during their lunch break at 12:30 p.m., and it’s still dragging on. Snipe as well as a few other teachers that have classes to teach at this time are absent, but the rest of the available staff are present.

Shota massages his eyelids, refraining from gritting his teeth against the stinging, and promptly tipping his head back to apply his eye drops. They’re almost gone, he’ll have to get a refill from Recovery Girl. Shota lowers his head once again, black locks falling back over his face.

He’s exhausted. A full night on patrol and then the morning teaching at UA. He’s done for the day after this, and all he wants is to sleep. He’ll still have to check in with Eri to be sure she’s been ok throughout the day, before he can collapse on his bed. 

Eri was still adjusting to living at UA, but seemed to be doing well so far. When he couldn’t be with her, she had another teacher or staff member watching her. Thankfully, there hasn’t been an instance with her quirk going out of control. Yet. He hopes to keep it that way. She’s just starting school, but slowly. She has a lot of learning in just living before she can worry much about academic intelligence. But Shota has no concerns of her being able to catch up to her age and grade level. Eri’s proven to be smarter than they’ve given her credit for. Perhaps wiser in some ways than a kid her age should have to be.

Shota usually teachers her in his spare time. His hero work has decreased due to his stacking responsibilities. Last night was the first in close to a month, and he can feel in his sore muscles that it’s been too long. Thankfully, he can rest tonight, but if Nezu didn’t hurry this conference up he’s going to be pulling another all-nighter. The temptation to pull out his sleeping bag and snooze in the chair he sits is becoming harder to resist.

Shota’s gaze moves across the room at the other occupants.

Mic sits to his right, closest to Nezu. The man’s listening, but one can see the bored expression on his face as he picks at his painted nails.

Midnight across the table seems a bit more focused. Her arms rest on her lap as she listens to the white animal, adding in her thoughts every now and then.

Cementoss and Ectoplasm sit next to her, both relatively silent.

Shota’s eyes flick to the chair next to his left before moving to the closed door at the room’s entrance.

Yagi had been here as well. A few minutes ago, he had politely excused himself from the room and had yet to reappear.

Maybe he made a break for it, Shota thinks with envy. Though he knows it’s a lie.

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for the Number One Hero to duck out of meetings and public places for short periods of time. No one questioned him on it, assuming he had business calls or the like. He was All Might after all, and surely a very busy man.

But now the Symbol of Peace is dead, and still the brief intermissions continue. In fact, they’re increasing in frequency. Shota has high doubts about the possibility of impromptu hero phone calls from the man’s agency, but doesn’t dwell on it.

Everyone, even All Might, has secrets. It isn’t Shota’s job to nose his way into everyone’s personal life.

His sore eyes blink in mild surprise when the door he had been focusing on slides open, and the man in his thoughts shyly stoops his head under the doorway to enter back into the room. Yagi closes the door again and takes his place beside Shota, moving quietly to attempt not to draw attention to himself. But it’s a wasted effort; whenever he’s present, all eyes immediately are drawn to him. Plus, it’s hard to ignore a 7 foot man.

Shota turns away, attempting to refocus on whatever their eccentric principal is speaking about.

For a while, the meeting draws on as usual, Nezu doing most of the talking and the other teachers providing input as they see fit. The way the conversation is leading, it seems like things are starting to wrap up. Finally. The last class of the day starts at 2:20 p.m. and that doesn’t leave much leeway room for any teachers that need prep time.

Shota leans back with a silent sigh through his nose, crossing his arms. The sooner this is over, the sooner he can go check on Eri back at the dorms, and the sooner he can crash. Thinking about anything other is too hard to concentrate on.

Through his sleepy fog, something moves in his peripheral vision. Instinctually looking over to his left, he notices the lanky man next to him has wilted in posture, much like a plant with no water. The haze in Shota’s brain clears only slightly, having something more interesting to observe.

Now actually taking the time to study the other, Shota notices the haphazard blonde mane looks messier than normal. Yagi’s long, sinewy hands are placed comfortably on his lap, though a subtle tremble is running through his frame. A sheen of sweat is starting to form above his brow. Though his eyes remain fixed on the principal, the unfocused haze in the cyan pools gives Shota the impression Yagi isn’t paying attention. The normally bright irises are dull and almost completely hidden in the surrounding black sclera.

He looks pale. Must be sick. Shota lets his attention drift back to Nezu. Toshinori Yagi is a grown adult; he can take care of himself. If he doesn’t feel well, he’ll go home. These thoughts stubbornly go through Shota’s mind just before another pushes itself in.

He remembers the tall man entering the teacher’s lounge only two days after the Kamino incident. Yagi had been completely wrapped in bandages, bruises and stitched up cuts littering his body, and one arm was in a sling. Everyone had expected him to still be in the hospital, and not back to UA for at least a week, maybe two.

Shota recalls the other teachers chastising the ex-hero and trying to convince him to go home, to rest. Yagi had politely smiled, one that made Shota’s teeth grind at the obvious artificial gesture. The smile didn’t reach his eyes, only present to soothe their worries.  But Yagi thanked them for their concern. Even then, their coworkers had tried to assist him in any way possible. He had always insisted he was fine, respectfully refusing their help. It became hard for their colleagues to accept when it was obvious the injured man was struggling with even the simplest tasks.

Recovery Girl had made frequent appearances, much to Yagi’s dismay. It was unfortunate his body couldn’t handle her quirk, and he had to heal naturally, so she made it her job to monitor him. She didn’t even try to deny she was only there to check in on him, to make sure he was behaving himself, at least to the miniscule level she could except from Toshinori. She was always disappointed, and expressed so outright. But she could do little to sway him in his own self-care habits, and he always waved her off with another deceptive smile.

If he had forced his straining, overworked, body to comply during that time, what’s stopping him from teaching his class in 15 minutes?

More movement next to him puts Shota’s thoughts on pause. Dark eyes flick over to the older man, being as inconspicuous about his spying as possible. With the black hair covering his face, most people probably can’t tell where he’s looking anyway, and he’s not moving his head at all.

One of Yagi’s arms slowly lifts to his face, resting his sharp elbow on the table. The large and scarred hand covers his mouth, baring his bony wrist and too-thin arm as his sleeve slides down a few inches. The pose might be meant to look like he’s simply resting his chin, gaze still locked on Nezu like he’s listening intently. But sitting this close to him, Shota can see how the tremors in his body have increased, sweat starting to run down the deep crevices of his face in tiny rivers. The glazed over look in those black eyes has been replaced by one subtly emitting a fight or flight expression.

Shota frowns. He’s gonna barf. The pro briefly wonders if he should use his capture weapon to grab the trash can in the corner of the room to prevent a mess on the carpet, or worse, the table.

Before he can act, Yagi’s chair abruptly slides backwards as the retired hero wrenches his body up, fumbles with the door handle, and rushes out of the room as quickly as his unstable limbs can carry him. He barely manages to slam the sliding door shut behind him before he’s out of everyone’s sight, the hasty squeaks of his shoes on the tile floor growing more and more distant.

Nezu pauses at the sudden outburst, all the room’s occupants staring at where All Might had disappeared. The feel of concern weighs heavily in the atmosphere.

Although Yagi had often left before, he always excused himself quietly or snuck away when the attention wasn’t on him. Something this dramatic has never happened.

-----

And we’ll leave it there for now! This is still a wip remember, so things may be changed here and there, but I hope this makes up for my lack of other stories!

[goodlucktkachuk]

Frantic -- Matthew Tkachuk (Pt.2)

a/n: And by popular demand we have part two. Hope you guys enjoy!

Part One

------------------------------------------

Instantly a smile covered your face as you pressed confirm. Your instagram was nothing of scandal, mainly  paintings or doodles, a few pictures of you and Emily, and some vacation photos from last summer in Muskoka that you knew Matthew will enjoy. When Mitch reentered the room he shot you a puzzled look.

“What’s got you so chipper mini?” He teased, using the nickname your mom affectionately gave you when you were four and in a phase where you followed Mitch everywhere.

Chuckling, you shrugged your shoulders, “Emily sent me a really funny video of Nick in a facemask.” He laughed at the thought and the topic was dropped.

Around 1am, Mitch was blacked out on the couch next to you so you took the blanket you had wrapped around you and you tried to place it as softly as possible on your sleeping brother. After turning off the TV, you headed into their bathroom to borrow Steph’s makeup wipes. As you stared at yourself in the mirror for the first time that day and you could really see how tired you were. The all nighters of  homework and the rush and fall of going to games had started to catch up with you. You quickly slipped into Mitches closet and grabbed one of his old London hoodies and a pair of boxers. Once you found yourself in your pajamas and the warm embrace of the guest bed you flicked your eyes on your phone once again.

*Matthew_Tkachuk has sent you a message*

Intrigued by what the boy has to say you slid over the notification and unlocked your phone.

Matthew: first of all, what the fuck? Had I know it was you I wouldn’t have said what I said

Y/N: what?

Matthew: You didn’t think to mention that you're a mini marnie princess?

Y/N: why does it matter matty? Not like I live with him anymore. I’m an adult now Matty

Matthew: You’re still Mitches kid sister Y/N! I can’t just brush that off

Your chest ran tight after hearing him call you a kid. You knew you were younger but didn’t see the big deal about it.

Y/N: Oh give me a break, I’m 19, I’m all grown up now Tkachuk

Matthew: prove it, move this to snap and put your money where your mouth is ;)

Your heart fluttered in your chest but before you could enjoy it you found yourself mentally scorning yourself. This was your brother's old teammate and a family friend. Hell, you and Tayrn were attached at the hip everytime you two were together. There was too much history. Even though everything in your mind screamed no you found yourself accepting his proposal anyway before drifting off to sleep.

The next morning you woke up to find there was a sticky note placed firmly on your forehead. Pulling it off slowly, you flipped it over and it read ‘Went out for lunch with some of the team. Text me when you wake up’ The fact he couldn’t have just texted you that made you roll your eyes. You slowly lifted yourself out of the bed and started your staggered walk to the guest bathroom.

The sight in the mirror this morning was actually pretty cute. Your braids were slightly a mess from the night before but it went nicely with how Mitches sweater fit you and how his boxers hung off your hips. You snapped a picture of you throwing up a peace sign and posted it on your story with some witty caption about stealing Mitch’s clothes and looking better in them before hopping in the shower.

After departing from the warmth of the shower you changed back into your jeans from the night before and kept the sweater on. You ordered yourself some food and pulled out your laptop to get some school work done. Before you dove into art history and marketing techniques you opened a snapchat from Matt.

It wasn’t anything groundbreaking. He was sitting in a restaurant somewhere in a nice polo shirt. You could see half his face and his curls were pushed up with a red bandana. You stared at it for so long that you almost forgot to read what it said. ‘Snazzy hoodie you got there mini marnie, too bad it has the wrong name on the back’

You followed suit with your response, only sending half your face with a smirk plastered to your lips. ‘See Marner suits me so much better than Tkachuk so I think I’ll stick with this one!’

Matthew smiles at his phone. He was at a team lunch with the Flames and a few Leafs to catch up before they had to head back to Calgary. It was nice to see all the boys again, especially Mitch even though he had a different Marner on his mind. The lunch was overall pleasant even with all the dirty looks he had got from Auston any time anyone mentioned Y/N. As hard as it was for him not to spew endless chirps, he knew if he ever wanted a shot with you he knew he had to bite his tongue.

Deciding taking photos wasn’t the smartest way to hide what he was doing he texted you back instead. “Ouch Y/N that one hurt a bit. Hopefully in a few years you’ll change your mind ;)”

Y/N: In your dreams, Tkachuk. The team already has me destined to be with Aus so you gotta get in line.

Seeing those words made a fire erupt in his body. He knew you were probably just joking around but the idea of Auston getting to hold you made his blood run cold. Maybe that friendly warning wasn’t in the best interest of Y/N but Auston being selfish.

Matty: Auston has nothing on me sweetheart.

His words stopped you in your tracks. You never thought the juvenile feelings you had for Matthew would ever be reciprocated but here he was playing the game right back.

Y/N: I don’t know Matty, I’ve seen what Austons packing

As soon as Matthew read your text he slammed his phone down with a ‘Fuck’ that was a bit too loud making all the guys look at him.

“What’s your deal?”  Johnny asks, confused at his sudden outburst.

“Nothing.” Matthew says before he picks his phone backup and answers his text.

Matthew: I’m sorry what?

Before you answered, your mind drifted back to the previous summer. Mitch had invited the team and their girlfriends up to your cottage for one of the long weekends. It was a really fun weekend filled with drinking, boating, bonfires and even more drinking. On the last night there, Auston had a bit too much and proceeded to take off his swim trunks and run full force into the lake. Thinking it was hilarious, a few of the other boys followed suit. Unfortunately, because of where you were sitting when this happened, you saw a bit more of your brother's teammate than you would like to.

Snapping back to realted you messaged him back.

Y/N: you read what I sent

Matthew: tell me how good he was and then let me show you something better princess.

A mad blush crossed your face at the thought of Matthew showing you what he could do. You pushed those thoughts out of your head and began work on the lecture notes you were avoiding. Trying your best to push the thought of him having his way with you out of your head.

A few hours passed and the boys all crashed into Mitches apartment. Mo, Jake, and Zach set up shop on the bar stools across from you as Auston draped himself over your shoulders. Mitch leaned over the edge of the counter, all of them talking over each other. You missed having a house full of players all having fun. Matthew texted you again and you quickly turned your phone over before anyone could see it but you weren’t fast enough. Hearing your phone go off and seeing Auston look over your shoulder, Jake shot him a look to which Auston just shook his head and they both frowned knowing it was Tkachuk. Still typing away on your computer, Aus reached down putting his hands on yours and the pressure alone messed you up. As you went to scold him Jake interrupted you.

“So Y/N did you hear the Sandman and his girlfriend broke up?”

“I didn’t actually, I thought they were gonna get engaged?” Not looking up from your screen you tried speaking with as little interest as possible.

He shrugged his shoulders then continued “Guess it didn’t work out” He took a slight pause while Auston nodded at him  “Maybe you two should go out. Mitch mentioned at lunch you aren't seeing anyone.”

“I’m not sure dating another leaf is a good idea.” You responded still trying to feign interest.

“I think that would be a great idea.” Aus chimed in from behind you.

“I don’t remember asking what you thought, Auston.” You bite back.

You could cut the tension between you and Auston with a knife. After about a minute of no one saying anything, Mitch clapped loudly to catch the group's attention before he spoke.  

“Alright boys I think it's time for some Modern Warfare” The boys all nodded and headed towards the living room.

Auston leaned in close, whispering in your ear before going to meet the others, “It’s cause he’s young right? I know guys my age are more your speed these days.”

You flinched slightly, “I don’t know what you're talking about” You tried to say as smoothly as possible.

“If you say so, pest.” The last word basically being spat at you with a hostility you had never felt from him before. He finally let go of you and headed for the living room.

With that comment you had had enough and excused yourself to head back to your apartment. On your way down to the lobby knowing you were safe from the watchful eye of Auston and Jake you decided to answer Matthew.

Matthew: Y/N? Did I say something that's going to get me in trouble?

Y/N: Sorry, got distracted by some homework. Since when is Matty Tkachuk afraid of causing a little trouble ?

Part Three

[twomoonstwosuns]

crush.

pairing: poe dameron x reader

warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

a/n: ....part 2? i have something in mind, but i’d love to hear from people if they wanna see a part 2. 

[part 2]

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“How long has it been since you’ve slept?”

“I’m fine, Poe.”

“I didn’t ask you that.”

You threw your head back with a sigh of frustration before looking up at Poe. He was leaning against the table in front of you with his arms crossed, looking at you concernedly.

“How long?” He repeated. Your tongue poked in the inside of your cheek as you tried to avoid the question. But Poe was persistent and would not let this go until he got an answer out of you.

You’d put in a long workday. You had gotten up early, consulted with the squadron leaders, and had gotten information from Leia regarding a mission she was sending Poe on. Since then you were researching and strategizing, only leaving the room for food and bathroom breaks. You glanced at the clock to your right. It was nearing 5a.m. You had been up for nearly 22 hours.

“Awhile.” You finally answered, running a hand through your hair. “But I really need to get this done. I’m meeting with Leia in the morning and she’s counting on this being ready for your mission tomorrow.”

You nodded towards the papers in front of you. On them were a bunch of strategies for the different complications Poe could run into on his mission to Jakku the following morning; confrontation tactics in case something went wrong, escape plans if he had to abort the mission, and plans for worse case scenarios.

“You can’t keep overworking yourself, though.” Poe didn’t even look at the papers. His focus was still on you. “It’s not healthy.”

“I know. I don’t pull all-nighters all the time, it’s just—“

“You pulled two last week.”

You looked down in embarrassment at being caught in a lie. You were so careful; trying to make sure you looked bright-eyed and fresh everyday so no one knew you were so overtired.

“Ok, fine.” You were unapologetic as you looked back up at Poe. Maybe it was the exhaustion putting your emotions on edge, because you were getting annoyed and feeling defensive. “But Poe, this is a really important mission you’re going on. And you’re going alone. So many things can go wrong. I’m not letting you go unprepared and if I have to sacrifice some sleep to make sure of that, so be it.”

Poe admired your devotion to the cause. To his safety.It was on par with his. But that meant, like him, you bordered on recklessness in order to get things done and get results. The only difference between you was where you did your jobs. He leaned forward, his face much closer to yours.

“You’re great at what you do even on your worst days,” he said with an easy smile, holding your gaze. Your face softened. “If you can honestly tell me that everything isn’t starting to blur together or that you haven’t read the same thing six times in a row, I’ll leave you alone.”

You couldn’t tell him that. Because you really didn’t know what you had been working on the last hour or if you even accomplished anything. You eyed the papers in front of you.

“I don’t know Poe, I’ve still got so much work to do.”

“Leia will understand that you need a break. In fact, as your commander, I’m ordering you to take a break.”

Poe stood straight up, hovering over authoritatively. You arched your eyebrow. Gone was the overwhelming concern in his voice, replaced now with the flirty tone you both were known for displaying whenever you were together.  

“You know technically, you’re not my commander.”

“But I am a commander, so I have some authority over you.”

“No you don’t. You’re full of it.”

He had a half smirk on his face, which made you smirk back at him. Even tired, you could dish it right back to him.

“Just a couple of hours. I promise to have you back here with plenty of time to finish everything. Please, Y/N?”

Your name was soft as it left his lips. You looked at him as you considered his words. His eyes were pleading, almost begging. He was right; you probably should take a break. A twenty minute power nap would get you right back on track, you thought. Or you could keep working in the privacy of your own room. Poe would walk you to your door and go back to his quarters, never the wiser.

You gave a defeated sigh as you stood up. Poe smiled victoriously as he started helping you gather papers, handing them to you to place in a folder. You followed him out of the room, hitting the lights as you left.

“Wait Poe, what are you  doing up at this hour?” You asked as you fell in step with him, now the one filled with concern.

“Can’t sleep. Don’t worry about it.”

You stopped him with a gentle hand on his arm.

“I always worry about you.”

Poe looked down at you. Your eyes were glossy from fatigue, but they still mesmerized him. His jaw clenched, like he didn’t quite want to say what was on the tip of his tongue. You raised your eyebrows, urging him to talk.

“I slept for a bit, woke up and couldn’t fall asleep again. Guess I’m just feeling anxious about this mission.” He admitted as he started walking again. You walked swiftly to catch up with him. “Kind of dumb, isn’t it? I’ve been on so many missions now that I shouldn’t be feeling anxious about another one.”

You shook your head.

“It’s not dumb, Poe. The unknown is…terrifying. To be honest, I’m scared anytime you leave. Anytime anyone leaves. We’ve lost too many good people.”

“Is that why you do what you do?”

Poe gestured to the folder in your hand. You tightened your grip on it. You didn’t quite know how to answer the question.

“I don’t know.” You answered honestly. “Apart from the fact that I’m not the best flyer, I feel less anxious about this war with the First Order knowing we’ve prepared you the best we can. Obviously anything can go wrong no matter how much we prepare you guys, but at least you’re not going into anything without some kind of a plan.”

“I don’t think you know how many times you’ve saved our asses out there.”

“I don’t know if I want to know. I try to cling to the hope that things go smoothly every time you leave.”

“Your hope gives me hope.”

Your whole body felt warm. Sure, you and Poe shamelessly flirted with each other all the time, but this was something different. It had taken you weeks to admit to yourself you liked Poe a lot more than a friend, the flirting now making your heart ache a little bit more with the knowledge that he would probably only ever be your friend. And now he was saying things like this and making your heart swell with want.

“I really wish you weren’t going alone.” Your voice was nearly a whisper, the weight of everything heavy on your shoulders.

Poe exhaled through his nose, his hand grabbing yours and squeezing once before letting go again.

“Me too.”

You wanted to grab his hand, intertwine your fingers and not let go. You had had many heart-to-heart conversations with Poe about how you both truly felt about everything going on and what the future might be like, but none of those conversations drove you to tears like this one did. You convinced yourself it was the overtiredness keeping your emotions just below the surface, but deep down you knew it was your feelings for Poe making you care even more.  

“Wait a minute,” you said, pulling yourself from your thoughts as you recognized the hallway you were in. Poe was pulling out his card. “Why are we at your door?”

“Because the minute I leave you alone in your own room, you’ll go back to work.”

Damn him, you thought to yourself. He figured out your plan. Apparently the disappointment read on your face because he chuckled as he opened his door and said, “I know you Y/N.”

You huffed in frustration as he ushered you inside. You’d been in his quarters plenty of times, but not doing anything other than chatting. You saw BB8 tucked into his charging station.

“Plus,” Poe said, seemingly not done teasing you. “My bed is bigger and probably more comfortable than yours and you really need sleep.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.

“Careful Dameron, someone might think you’re trying to get me in bed.”

Poe laughed as you removed your shoes. He took them and moved them next to his by the door.

“You are welcome in my bed anytime Y/N, but you really need to sleep now.”

You fought the grin that threatened to cross your face as heat rose to your cheeks. The all to familiar ache was not back in your chest. Your flirting was going to get you in trouble someday, especially as your feelings for Poe grew stronger and stronger. But you couldn’t stop. It was so easy to flirt and talk and whatever with Poe.

“Y/N?”

Poe appeared in front of you, looking at you curiously.

“Sorry, what?”

“I asked if you were good. You look like you’re about to fall asleep on your feet.”

“I’m good.” You assured him. “Admittedly tired.”

“I don’t want to say I told you so, but—“

You bumped your shoulder into his as you passed him to get in bed. It still felt a little weird to you, a little too intimate for just friends, but you were so tired at this point that you couldn’t care anymore.

“Thank you, Poe. Really.”

Poe nodded his head in acknowledgement, bringing his hand down to brush away the hair that was about to fall into your face. His touch was burning.

“Get some sleep, Y/N.”

You closed your eyes, melting into Poe’s sheets. They smelled like him and it calmed you. You settled in, feeling sleep creeping up on you quick. You were surprised when you didn’t feel Poe next to you, assuming he would try and go back to sleep himself. You cracked an eye open and saw him sitting in a chair, watching you.

“Weirdo.” You teased. “Are you really gonna sit there and watch me sleep?”

“Can’t have you sneaking out.”

“I’m not going to sneak out. You ruined my plan.”

Poe smiled tiredly, his own exhaustion kicking in. You recognized it immediately. He was about to give up sleep to let you sleep in the same way you were giving up sleep to help him prepare for his mission. It was a never-ending circle. You scooted yourself back and patted the now empty space.

“Come get some sleep.”

Poe’s eyes widened slightly and he looked at you questioningly.

“What?”

You perched yourself up on your elbow.

“You’re seriously telling me you’d rather sit there for however many hours you’re making me sleep instead of getting some rest? That kind of makes you a hypocrite you know.” Poe was silent and staring at you. Your face fell and you spoke quietly, the teasing manner now gone. “It’s fine, Poe. I can see you’re still tired and you need sleep, too. Come on.”

You held your breath as you watched Poe. Your thoughts were running wild. Maybe you overstepped, took the flirting a little too far. But you were genuinely concerned.

Poe’s thoughts were all over the place as well. He was tired and really wanted a little more sleep. Plus, the idea of curling up to next to you was sotempting. Poe nodded and crossed the room, both of your hearts skipping beats as he slid in next to you.

“Told you so.” You mumbled with a tired laugh.

Poe just shushed you, not trusting himself not to say something stupid with how close you two were. He was a confident man, but that confidence had begun to diminish whenever you were near him. He supposed that’s why he flirted with you so hard, because it came so naturally to him since he was that way with everyone. But here in his room, in his bed no less where things were more cozy and intimate, he couldn’t trust himself to not say what was really on his mind. He couldn’t tell you how he wanted to pull you closer, have your head rest on his chest while his fingers wove through your hair. No, he couldn’t tell you that. Not right now. Poe was a talker and he knew it was only a matter of time before something slipped out that he wasn’t ready to tell you yet.

Poe fell asleep before you did. You moved just a hair closer to him, admiring the way his eyelashes rested gently on his cheek. You fought off a laugh as you realized that you were now the one watching him sleep like a weirdo. But you couldn’t help it.  

You were lucky to have him in your life. From his kindness to his loyalty, Poe was someone you enjoyed being around all the time. You would be forever grateful that he came into your life. If you had to swallow your feelings to not ruin your friendship, you would. The last thing you wanted to was to scare him off. He was too important to you to lose.

But there was a thought that crossed your mind as your eyes fluttered closed.

His bed was barely bigger than yours and it definitely wasn’t more comfortable. Everyone had the same sheets and mattress, you knew that from the numerous times you had accidentally fallen asleep in Jessika or Kaydel’s rooms. You wondered if he knew this when he brought you back to his room. As sleep overtook you, you let yourself go into a dream where you allowed yourself to believe for just a minute that maybe, just maybe, he liked you too.

[itzagothamcitysiren]

Welcome to the Family

I’ve always struggled finding someone who I think would make a good Damian. I love the voice actor from the DCAU, and even the kid who did the voice in the Harley show lol, but live action wise I’ve never really settled on a kid I’d think would do a really good job.  I’d love to know everyone’s own fan casting and who they would think would make a good Damian. :)  

Mother’s Day pt.2          

  Damian couldn’t stop himself from watching the whole scene play out in front of him, cursing Drake as he knew that this was his plan all along. Drake wanted to rub it in his face no matter how hard he would deny it when Damian confronted him on it later. The bitter taste of the sweat was all Damian could taste as he slowly began to peel off his costume after a long and tiring night of patrolling Gotham City. His eyes darted from person to person, trying to keep the sudden annoyance down in the pit of his stomach.

           His father stood off near the batcomputer, slowly getting ready to call it a night, overlooking some files. His father had his cowl off, the tiredness of a long night out in the city showing on his face. A little ways away stood his sister, politely excepting the water bottle Alfred was now handing out to each of them. He started to head towards the pair to retrieve his own but halted. Drake approached them, clearly hiding something behind his back, underneath his cape. He turned around, simmering but kept listening as Drake began to speak.

           “Hey, staying the night?” Tim cleared his throat as he approached Halley, a hint of hopefulness reaching his voice.

           The girl chugged her water bottle, capping it off with a sigh. The cold liquid felt good running down her throat. Placing the near empty bottle on a nearby desk she turned to give Tim her full attention. With a smile, she leaned up against the desk, her muscles sore. “Nah, I have to head to the library first thing tomorrow, finish up my term paper.”  

           “I can help you. Use the library here,” Tim frowned, offering his help. He hadn’t seen his sister as much as he’d like over the past few months. She’d been busy with her last year of college and the internship she started this year at the Gotham Gazette.

           He did get to see her two weeks ago but that didn’t really count. He’d never gotten to meet the Robin before him, Jason Todd, but Halley spoke very fondly of him. They had grew extremely close he learned and she was absolutely devastated when the Joker killed him six years ago. And for the last couple of years, Tim would accompany with her to visit Jason’s grave on his death day because she could never bring herself to handle going alone.

           “As much as I would love that, it’s actually a study date.” She bit her lip, looking at her feet.

           “Wow, like a date, date?” Tim was taken aback, almost looking proud at the older girl. All the years he’s known her, she’s never been one for dating or having interest in anyone.

           “Yeah, we’re going to go to this café; the one on fifth, the one you said had really good coffee muffins.” She nodded, still timid about the date itself. She hadn’t been on a date in six years. It felt weird, but Dick told her it was time to start moving on and Dick had never led her astray before so, she was going to try. Jason would want her to anyway, she kept telling herself.

           “Well, I hope you have a good time. And actually get some work done.” Tim chuckled. “Well since I won’t see you in the morning and it’s technically the tenth right now, here you go,” Tim said, pulling out what was hidden behind his back.

           Halley looked down at the items that were being outreached to her, her eyes already getting watery. Tim really didn’t understand how much this stuff meant to her. Glazing over the card, seeing it goofily decorated with glitter and cute little doodles, Halley couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. She thought it was adorable. Opening it up, she read what he wrote inside, chuckling more at the little stick figures of Nightshade and Red Robin. Inside it read:  A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken can last in the fridge.

           Shaking her head at him she moved to the other item he handed her. It was a medium sized box wrapped in wrapping paper with little cute cartoon pugs and an oversized purple bow. Putting the card in between her armpit, in order to not drop it, she tore the wrapping paper apart, letting out a squeal, causing everyone to look at her in shock; it took a lot to make the former assassin to squeal in pure giddiness.    

           Damian was now almost fuming as Halley lunged herself into Tim, nearly tripping the boy over in her excitement. Her grip on him was tight, as was her grasp on the gift she still held in her hand, as if holding onto it for dear life. She couldn’t believe he got her this,

           “How did you get this? It sold out in seconds!” She pulled away, now hugging the object to her chest, “Tim you really didn’t have to do this, I totally didn’t realize the date, with school and-,”

           “I knew how much you wanted it and were bummed when you had to go on that mission with the Titans when it went on sale and so I ordered it for you, so you didn’t miss out.” Tim cut off her rambling, shrugging her off. “I was going to give it to you for Christmas, but it didn’t come in on time so I saved it for this.”

           “I can’t wait to show Steph!” She excitedly held it up to look at the smooth and shiny new box, revealing it to everyone in the room the newest Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson palate. “You’re literally the best Tim.” She pulled him into another hug, this time a quick one, no one noticing how Damian was now practically steaming. “What are you doing Wednesday? I’m only at the Gazette until like noon, we should hang out, go to the movies or arcade or something once you’re out of school. I’ll pick you up.”

           “I promised I’d help the Titans with something, it’s not an emergency though-” Tim frowned, hesitating, he could try and reschedule.

           “No, no it’s okay. I know you’ve missed them, being busy with school and all,” She waved off, scrunching up her nose. “We’ll figure it out, but soon, we gotta at least go get burgers or something. It’s been too long.”

           Damian watched as Halley began to start saying her goodbye, realizing that it was nearly five am at this point and wanted to try to get at least three or four hours of sleep before she had to be up for her date. She called out a goodbye to Bruce and Alfred, shooting Tim another thank you and smile before heading to the showers to change and grab her bag to head to her apartment in the city. On her way out, Damian felt his cheeks turn red as she nicely wished him goodnight, smiling wider than she did to Tim. Feeling a strange pang in his chest, he brushed her off, muttering a grumpy ‘night, before curtly turning to head up to the Manor.

           He was unamused by the exchange between her and Drake. He was only under the impression that he was giving her that immature card, not a gift as well. She looked so happy that it almost appeared that Drake was indeed the favorite brother, which absolutely could not possibly be true.  He was the blood brother, he reminded himself. He couldn’t let Drake outshine him like that. It wasn’t even because he cared that much, it was just unacceptable. If it had been Grayson it might sit a little easier with Damian but Drake?

           Damian thought about it until the sun shined through his windows, making him even angrier. Why was he letting this get to him as badly as it was? It was just a stupid card and a box of colorful dirt. But that stupid card and box of colorful dirt still stood in his mind for the following days, making it nearly impossible for him to concentrate on anything else. His father asked him what was wrong during patrol the following nights, only to get a growl here and a grunt there in response. If Damian had to see Drake’s smug look one more time during these moments, he’d finally kill him, his father be damned.

           Damian couldn’t believe how much he let this get to him. He tried to deny it; blame it on hormones or whatever Grayson called the cause of his mood swings. He didn’t even begin to consider admitting he was jealous of his sister’s close relationships with his so called brothers until he found himself standing in front of the Gotham Gazette at 1:50pm. Gritting his teeth, he walked straight in. Once he reached the front desk, he said he was here to see his sister. He was a Wayne, they knew who he was and the woman nervously pointed him to the way to the office his sister worked in.

           The look of worry and shock his sister wore as he stood in front of her desk confirmed that this had indeed been a terrible idea.  She had been head deep in her computer, typing away furiously, while on the phone, barking out questions and demands; something about needing to have some interview with some councilman rescheduled ASAP. Damian was impressed as she spoke. He was used to her stern voice from working with her on missions but this was different, she seemed so professional but scary; he almost felt bad for whoever she was talking to on the phone, but also felt proud by the way she was demanding things like an al Ghul would.

           She must have thought that he was someone else who knocked on her door for when she slammed the phone down, she didn’t even look up at him, just outreached her hand waiting to be passed something. She was expecting someone. She was busy. This was a terrible idea, Damian thought to himself in a slight panic. Was that sweat starting to form on his brow? Grow up Damian, he spat to himself.

           When her hand stood empty she shook it aggressively as if silently saying to hand her something.  Damian raised an eyebrow at her and when she was still left empty handed, she whipped her head up, clearly irritated. She was tired from another all-nighter. She couldn’t even consider going on patrol last night, which was something she never missed up until the last couple of months. She was itching to be done with school already.

           She had to stay up all night trying to make a backup plan for her final article and paper. She was writing about the coming election, making a strong article highlighting the past Mayor’s and city officials. It was a puff piece, but a damn good one. She wanted it to be perfect so that way when she graduated in June she’d hopefully get to stay at the Gazette permanently. But at the same time, she was also just trying to use her connection with the paper to weasel her way into an interview with councilman, Rupert Thorne.

           Her paper had been her obsession since starting it; she was exposing the corruption of city hall and it was at the point where her grade didn’t matter, she just wanted it to be done so she could publish it. Everyone knew that Gotham was corrupt, but no one really talked about, just complained about the crazy, dressed up weirdos that tormented the city at night. People like Scarecrow, Riddler and the Joker make people overlook villains who in her opinion where just as bad. For example, Rupert Thorne

           He had his nose deep in too many illegal operations running out of Gotham that Halley and even Bruce lost count. He had the audacity to run for mayor this election season, as being a councilman wasn’t enough for someone like Thorne. If he won this, Gotham was more screwed then it already was. Without at least speaking with him once her entire paper and grade would be ruined. And she couldn’t exactly go as her alter ego and force him to talk to her. That would raise too many questions. She didn’t even care as she named dropped Bruce, making sure they knew that she was Halley Wayne; she was desperate.          

           When she saw Damian though all thoughts about Thorne left her mind and her face softened before scrunching up again with concern. Damian never visited her before a she had been pretty sure he forgot that she interned here a couple days out of the week. Stopping her work, she looked up at him, looking around the room as her co-workers eyed them curiously.  “Damian, is everything okay? What happened?”

           “Tt.” He crossed his arms.

           “Damian, is everything okay?” She pressed, seeing that look in his eyes when he looked stressed or in trouble.

           “Nothing is wrong, I-,” He paused. He hadn’t figured out what to say. He didn’t prepare for this. Gulping down his anxiety, he took the seat that was across from her desk. He could see the bags underneath her eyes and the untouched food sitting at the other end of the desk. He also noted how the clock said that it was now a couple minutes past two. “Didn’t you tell Drake you were done with work at noon?”

           Halley blinked a few times, now knowing that there was no emergency but instead was just thrown off. What was he talking about? Looking down at the time on her laptop it clicked. Her conversation with Tim in the cave, about possibly hanging out today. Oh right, she remembered.  Looking back up at her younger brother she gave him an unsure look, she didn’t understand why he was here.

           “Um, yeah, well I don’t have a concept of time when I’m in here.” She lightly chuckled, trying to get a vibe on why he was here. Rubbing the black beanie on her head, itching her head awkwardly, “Most times the janitor has to kick me out.”

           She looked at him when he just nodded at her, still not stating why he was sitting in front of her. She was surprised he remembered her conversation with Tim, she hadn’t thought he had been listening and it was like they were talking that loudly for him to be forced to overhear him. She had taken note of Tim texting her about how unbearable he’s been since last Sunday though. She bit the inside of her cheek, was Damian jealous? She laughed to herself, there was no way. But when she have him another look over she saw his green eyes staring at her messy desk with a slight pout on his face. Oh he was totally jealous of Tim, she thought.            

           She looked at her untouched lunch, having totally losing herself in her work and forgetting it even existed. She then felt her stomach growl, seeing how Damian noticed it as well, raising his eyebrow higher, if that was even possible. Quickly saving the document she was working on, she slowly closed her laptop, letting what she was about to do sink in. Trying to contain her smile, not wanting to scare him off before she could even begin, she cleared her throat.

           “So do you like Burgers?”

[soysaucevictim]

Week 3. I’m... struggling.

-

May 1

I tried to get some sleep in after the all-nighter a bit before 9AM... “got up” around 3PM. This to mean I lied down and didn’t really get any proper sleep, because mind was racing about that project.

But resting was still okay. After I got back up and updated some logs, I did today’s exercise...

First, today’s DD. 50 squats with EC. Manageable, moderately aerobic work. One of the last things I did before things went pear-shaped...

I shortly after found out I lost a family member and I saw what happened. I’m not going to describe it here, for many reasons. But I’ve been dealing with the images and emotional pain since... I probably will in some fashion, for a long time.

Last, Day 13 of BREATH. “Feel“. Yoga was emotionally uncomfortable as hell... but I brought myself to the mat accepting that I was going in feeling extremely tender in that dept. Let’s just say there were some waterworks and a very real sense of survivor’s guilt. That’s all I’m going to say there.

I tried to deal with things with chatting and discretionary venting on Twitter...

I forced myself through another all-nighter to finish that sewing project. Fought against images and waves of intense emotions to keep going. I don’t think I would’ve succeeded at sleeping through the night anyways.

-

May 2

I tried to sleep again round 8AM - it was more just physical rest till like 10AM. Too restless.

Touched base on what happened with a family member. They were... all of us were... are distraught.

I had a more successful attempt at sleeping for a couple hours after that. Honestly, painful. But it was mutually beneficial and necessary. Probably made the nap easier.

Shortly after, I endeavored to get some working out done.

First, today’s DD. 50 climber taps with EC. Ngl, it took a little psyching myself up to get down and do this. As expected, really started feeling the abs in the last 10-20 reps.

Second, Day 14 of BREATH. “Space“. This was less emotionally fraught - even though there were moments wrapping up that I had twangs of sorrow. It’s too soon to let everything I’m going to need to go... but I imagine, there will be in the future. Too raw and in pain to manage that yet. I did like the back arch balance stands and toe stand moments, the most.

Last, Day 13 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Had phone on floor because it was all planks. My climbers ran at more of a jog than a sprint - but then again energy levels wasn’t up to that. The last 2 sets in particular that were the hardest.

Made dinner, did some dishes, chatted and started on that vent art of Virgil to help process things a little. I basically pulled another all-nighter.

-

May 3

I decided to let care team know about what happened with a local crisis unit/line, before trying to get some sleep.

I woke up proper around 3PM, I think this was modestly more restful.

After some of the usual... was both somewhat relieved and distressed when one of the family member’s friends called his phone. We were able to let his circle know what happened.

I then got to some exercise again.

First, today’s DD. 1′ elbow clicks with EC. I counted 74 reps by the end of the duration. Manageable and simple.

Second, Day 15 of BREATH. “Enter“. Despite walking into this having eaten a lot of wasabi peas - I  elected to do full planks and kept back knee raised for high lunge variations upon Adriene’s invitation to. It was nice getting into a sort of flow - gathering what we were going to do next before Adriene instructed a few times.

Last, Day 14 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. The squat hops were honestly the brutal part, today. Was tempted to not shoot for Level 3, but decided to anyways. Just glad I completed it, today.

Did some of the usual, made some dinner, and finished up that drawing.

I stayed up obscenely late, but not another all-nighter.

-

May 4

I woke up around 11AM.

Touched base with therapist on the phone. Made a mortuary appointment and asked family to help get me (and Dad) to that appointment later in the week.

Hit the showers, met some more family in person.

Did some of the usual before deciding to add, sort, and transfer the contents of my Anxiety Box into Virgil’s jar. I also decided to start filling the Patton jar with some things I was grateful for. I think this was helpful.

I dusted off Facebook for the first time in like years. Saw that his friends have been pouring condolences onto his page. I was pretty disconnected from his circle of friends... wound up adding many of the ones I recognized hearing about. This was a painful straddle between gratefulness and sorrow.

Had to field another call on his phone. That hurt too. I kind of wished I could unlock it.

I then got going on my workouts, pretty late...

First, today’s DD. 1′ raised leg circles with EC (supine). I counted a total of 45 reps, reversing the direction at the 30″ mark. Doable despite needing to hold head up.

Second, Day 16 of BREATH. “Discipline“. This was an extremely chill day - focusing on extending and slowing down the breaths... definitely well-timed given how tiring/harrowing today has been.

Last, Day 15 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Just arm work, I’d say these days are amongst the easiest to get through. Again, good for energy levels.

I wound up in bed around the same time as yesterday.

-

May 5

I woke up around 11AM again.

I went to Seeking Safety Group again. I wanted and needed to be there. That’s all I’m going to say on that one.

Got home, almost dozing off. But spent all day and night hanging out with a local friend.

I did some dishes and made one of the Hello Fresh Meal. Creamy pesto grillng cheese ciabattas. Me and friend really enjoyed this one.

Among many things - I think sharing DWIT and the first half of “The Poisoner’s Handbook“ were some of the highlights.

We wound up talking the night away, despite it not being the best idea.

Oh well, the bed was made at that point.

-

May 6

So one of the first things I had to deal with was a morning dental appointment. It was a nice appointment, talked about things with discretion. I’m hoping it may get a tiny bit easier to talk about for it. (Obviously NOT oversharing to anyone and everyone.)

Grabbed some Starbucks and had to get frustrated with LogistiCare, in activating my return trip home. I was honestly getting close to collapse of exhaustion by the time it got to me. (Not going to blame anyone really... it was unfortunate for how bone tired I was.)

Got home and took a short nap, before the mortuary appointment.

I kind of didn’t want to - but after that, I was roped into seeing extended family. It  was nice but also further exhausting. But I will say that a highlight was being able to share with my great uncle a series about the Spanish Flu. He likes history stuff and learned a lot of new things about that situation - also was nice tying it in with his interest in stuff like the WW. (Also glad and was struck by all the observed parallels with, uh, what’s been happening with COVID. But I’ll leave it at that.)

Medical history and the like was a welcome distraction. Especially the fact that that great uncle was an interested party to share it to.

Got home again and spent some of the night on the usual and decided that I was only up for catching up on my DDs...

First, yesterday’s DD. 40 side bridges with EC. It was questionable, given sheer level of exhaustion. But I felt like catching up on SOME of my regimen anyways..

Last, today’s DD. 40 windshield with EC. Same thoughts about previous exercise.

Updated some logs and stuff before hitting the sack. In the green zone for once, yet again. I was just so profoundly exhausted at that point.

-

May 7

I woke up around 11AM.

One the first things I wound up doing was fielding a lot of phone calls to get other appointment-related affairs handled.

Spent some time on the usual and sketching an art idea out that I’m not sure I’ll flesh out just yet. It’s kind of detail-intensive.

Then, I decided to catch up on my exercise regimen.

First, today’s DD. 2′ bicep extensions with EC. I counted 155 reps by the end of it. Biceps felt pretty tired after that one, at that pace. But very doable.

(After watching some YouTube and whatnot...)

Second, Day 17 of BREATH. “Explore“. Man, was this intense on my quads for my energy levels today. But I tried my best to get through it as best as possible. I think the chair poses were especially intense.

Third, Day 18 of BREATH. “Center“. This was alright. I liked the calf raise hold stuff and a lot more of the chill stuff today. Warriors were okay. Still have a ways to go to pull off Crow Pose, but that is a challenging one, for sure.

(After a lot of usual stuff...)

Fourth, Day 16 of 1′HIIT. Level 3, 1′ rest. Intense, but I enjoyed the fact this was mostly jumping jacks. Think the twist jacks were the weirdest part. Got fairly winded by the end.

(After making/eating some dinner and watching some videos for that to settle...)

Last, Day 17 of 1′HIIT.Level 3, 1′ rest. A bit more strength-oriented leg work - what with the leg raises and lunges. Glad I didn’t have to worry too much about doing this in a semi-full stomach (butt kicks do some jostling but generally not as much as like high knees).

I spent some time watching/listening to videos and updating some logs after this.

I got to bed pretty late in the red again... but not an all-nighter.

[starstruck-xavier]

[4] 5 Times Someone Stopped Virgil From Self-Harming and 1 Time He Stopped Himself

it’s time for janus!! this one’s centred around getting good sleep and not pulling all nighters but there’s some discussion of other s-h methods so just still be warned. i’m finishing up the last chapter and i cant wait to finish this fic aa!!

1 - Logan || 2 - Roman || 3 - Patton || [4 - Janus] || 5 - Remus || 6 - Virgil

ao3 || wattpad || fanfiction masterpost

words for this chapter: 1001 ships: platonic anxceit warnings: mentions of cutting (not described or actually done within the chapter)

“Virgil, you are not staying up all night.”

Janus sighs, leaning on the doorframe as some distant church bells somewhere in the city chime midnight. Virgil is sat at his desk, donning his smudge guard, his pen gliding across the tablet screen tirelessly and showing no signs of stopping.

“Virgil.” Janus tries again to get his attention; this time, he’s met with a tired stare. "Is your deadline set for tomorrow?" He waits for a moment before Virgil shakes his head. "Then you have no reason to rush. You’ve had a long day, just try to get some sleep.”

There’s a few seconds in which they stare each other down, but then Virgil finally gives in, saves his files and shuts off the monitor with a sigh, or maybe it’s a yawn. "I wanted to just get it out of the way, not worry about it.”

"Yes, I understand, but you could finish your art at a much higher quality tomorrow if you get some good sleep." The corners of Janus’ lips tilt into a sympathetic frown as he walks over to Virgil’s bed and sits down, patting the spot next to him. "Come here, tell me what’s wrong.”

"But I—“ Virgil blinks confusedly and hesitates for a second but still complies, setting the smudge guard and pen down and moving to sit next to Janus. "How do you know something’s wrong?”

Janus hums nonchalantly. "I think I've spent enough time with you, I can just tell. You seem a little… mentally exhausted.”

“I'm gonna assume you can tell by being a psychology student and not by my outward appearance.” Virgil rubs at his eyes self-consciously, well aware of the dark shadows that are always there, but continues. "I guess it’s been a weird week. On Monday I got startled by some dumb driver in a sports car and nearly cut again but Logan helped me calm down, and later that day Roman told me that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself when I'm dancing and to take a break before I hurt myself again, which— I— I didn’t know I was even doing that. On Tuesday I didn’t do much except go to class, I guess I was feeling a little depressed that day, but then yesterday Roman and I were doing relays together and Patton came to watch. He brought me some food and then I realised just how hungry I was. I keep… realising that maybe I'm hurting myself in more ways than I first thought, and it’s making me anxious, so I was just trying to get other stressors out of the way, like this art project.”

As he’s listening intently to Virgil telling him about the week, Janus remembers those short moments that he’s seen in the past few days - like when Logan and Virgil returned to the dorms before their class was even over and Virgil took a quick nap between then and his dance class. When he returned again with Roman late that night, looking fatigued and dozing off on Roman’s shoulder while they both watched Youtube videos together on the couch. As well as that, while Janus was happy to see Virgil eating a full meal yesterday evening like the rest of the roommates, he did think that it was a little unexpected, and perhaps somebody had encouraged him to do so.

"I suppose me telling you that you look tired wouldn’t help with those anxious feelings, hmm?" He smiles faintly when Virgil shakes his head again. "Realising your unhealthy habits are just the first step to overcoming them. Maybe discovering many of them in a short amount of time is a little overwhelming, but you can work on them one at a time. You still have your timer going, right?”

Virgil reaches for his phone on the corner of the desk and opens it up to the timer; it’s a sobriety timer meant for people trying to quit drinking, but it works as a great ‘days since cutting’ timer as well. "Two months, fourteen days, five hours and thirty-one minutes.”

A look of proudness overcomes Janus’ usually neutral features. "That’s almost two and a half months, you’re doing amazingly. See, all you have to do in regards to trying not to cut again is to remind yourself of how far you’ve come, and to use those other techniques you’ve learned to lessen the urges." He places one arm around Virgil’s back comfortingly. "We can talk about those other habits you have some other time, but for now, it’s time to sleep.”

“I'm not tired, though.” Virgil attempts to protest, but Janus is already standing so he can pull back the bedsheets and wait for him to lie down.

"I can stay with you if you want?”

Virgil seems to think for a moment, fidgeting with his hands, but then sighs and starts to move. "Okay, fine.”

Once the two of them are underneath the heap of blankets and bedsheets that litter Virgil’s bed, Janus reaches to turn off the bedside lamp and then wraps his arms around his friend’s waist from behind so that he’s spooning him. "Just lay here long enough and you’ll feel tired soon." He mumbles into Virgil’s hair.

It feels extremely comfortable for Virgil to lay there with his back pressed against Janus’ chest; he feels the previous anxiety and tension draining from his shoulders and his breathing becomes softer, slower as he relaxes and sinks into the touch. Janus is right, he thinks to himself, sleep should be able to help him concentrate more on his art once he wakes up again tomorrow, or rather, later in the morning, as midnight has already passed. He’s about to question himself on why he hadn’t thought of that before, but then figures that the anxiety had his thought process set on other things.

Hopefully, he can try to feel this relaxed more often, for it only takes another few minutes for him to drift into a deep sleep.

~

(let me know if you want to be tagged for the other chapters!) @underestimatemethatwillbefun

[lessfamiliarsouls]

GCSE tips

(and i guess exam tips in general)

So I finished GCSEs a few weeks ago and now that I’ve had some time to come back to my senses and take a step back I feel like this might be the best time to write about them as they’re still fairly clear in my head. So, if you’re going into Year 11, here are some things I kinda wish I’d knew more ? I guess?

1. Do NOT prioritise your studies over your mental health. Honestly. It takes a massive toll and it is hard but you cannot push yourself to sit at a desk for hours every day on study leave because you WILL burn out! Even just taking the time for 5 mins of music or stretching or taking a short walk around ur area is worth it, just to let your brain have a bit of a break.

2. that being said, don’t use your breaks to go on your phone. Before you know it, the whole day will have gone by - seriously. Using screentime limits or Study Timer (on App Store, it’s basically an app for the pomodoro method - you do 25mins of work and get 5 mins to have a break, p simple) is a good way to avoid just lounging around your phone

3. don’t beat yourself up! you ARE good at your subjects, you DO know your stuff. It feels like you’re faking everything but don’t worry because everyone, even if they’ve revised for hours and hours, feels like they’re improvising. Sometimes the best thing is not to compare how much revision you’ve done: I remember after I came back from Easter holidays I had a breakdown in almost every lesson because I felt like everyone had done more than me. The truth was, I had focused more time on other subjects, and they’d done ones I hadn’t got onto studying as much yet. Everyone works at different paces, as long as you feel confident when you’re working by yourself at home, it’ll be okay!

4. ofc the regular tips: DO PRACTICE PAPERS! seriously, they’re the best help you can get. ask your teachers to mark extra essays or at least help you plan them. utilise school resources! trade revision resources w friends!

5. speaking of friends, don’t revise w them! I know someone who had an awful easter break (revision wise) bc she thought she could revise w friends. She’d go to the same library half the year went to and none of then ended up doing work. Don’t do that! Obviously, once you’ve learnt the content, you can do quickfire Q&A stuff but spending more than a short amount of time means you will get distracted and won’t be efficient in your revision

6. when you’re timetabling, make sure you leave large blanks bc sometimes there are gonna be days when you can’t force anything into your head and if you’re on a super cramped timetable, you’re gonna fall behind very quickly. sometimes, instead of a full timetable, it’s good to just work in to do lists.

7. try not to get addicted to a tv show. like, many people do, but honestly speaking from experience don’t recommend

8. start getting a good sleeping pattern earlier in the year! it will help you come exam time!! & don’t pull all nighters, it DOESNT help. Trust me! It’s literally been proven scientifically that an hour of sleep compared to an hour of revision before an exam can help you retain more information. If you’re sleepy, you’re not going to be at peak performance

9. as soon as the exam is done, PUT IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD! that’s it! nothing can be done! if it was awful, don’t worry, you have time for the second paper & if it was hard, i’m sure lots of other people found it hard too

10. don’t compare your grades to others. everyone is working to their own goals. just because you’re not great at maths and your friend is predicted an A* grade doesn’t mean you should be judging yourself for it! Everyone has their own strengths! Also, if someone is complaining about a lot of pressure being put onto then because of high predicted grades, don’t get angry bc “they shouldn’t be complaining, their predicted grades are high” - everyone has different standards and different pressures so it’s unfair of you to judge them for their goals just as it’s unfair of them to judge you for yours.

[cielwritesshit]

Can we go back to the beginning? - Darkstache

Summary: Dark is a stressed out student who ends up falling asleep in class. Not much else to say

A/N: I feel like this is really bad, but whatever. I’ve had this idea for a long time now, I just never got around to finishing it. My bad. Also, if you want more, please let me know, since I’m not sure what people want. Leave suggestions, prompts, and anything else in the comments. Also, since it came up recently, as long as you contact me about it, I am completely okay with you translating my work into other languages :)

Word count: 845

Tags: @why505

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21452131

Dark had never missed a class. Not that he was bragging about that. It was just that in the 18 months he’d been in Uni, he’d never once missed a lecture, never turned in an assignment late. Hell, he’d never so much as turned up late to a 6am class after pulling an all nighter to finish an assignment, because he’d messed up where he’d written the deadline and had thought that he had another week until it was done. Which is why he was currently regretting ever coming to university, as he drained the last of his 5th coffee that morning. Unfortunately, it didn’t feel like it was doing anything, and Dark could feel himself slipping into the blissful abyss of sleep, no matter how much he tried to keep himself conscious. Class had barely even started, and he knew he had to make it through another 2 hours.

Maybe if he closed his eyes for a few minutes, just until the teacher started writing, he’d start feeling a bit better…

Dark jerked awake as he felt a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey, class is over, you should probably wake up.” Someone who he didn’t know was waking him up. Dark lifted his head, and saw that yes, class was definitely over. Most people had left, and the few that were still there were either staying for their next class, or talking to the professor.

Dark rubbed his eyes, and felt the wait of something over him. At first he thought it was a blanket, but on closer inspection, he found that it was a jacket. Some kind of sports one, with cream coloured sleeves and a hot pink body. It was more colourful than his normal jacket, a sleek leather one that he tended to wear everywhere. He didn’t think he owned something this colourful, even in all his years of being alive. That’s when he realised it couldn’t possibly belong to him. After all, he’s almost certain that the jacket was far too colourful to belong to him. Shit.

“Sorry, that’s mine,” the other guy responded. Dark hadn’t even realised that he was speaking out loud. Was he really that tired? “You looked pretty cold, so I thought it would be like a blanket. That’s probably weird, isn’t it.” Dark frowned as he removed the jacket. It was super comfy, after all. Smelled nice too, bubblegum and vanilla...

Wait. Why did he care about how it smelled? It’s a fucking jacket.

“It, uh, it’s fine. I’m Dark by the way.” He stood up, stretched, and cracked his neck. This guy seemed to be really nice, but Dark needed to find out what he’d missed in the lecture. He couldn’t afford to fall behind. Although, Dark wouldn’t mind having this guy as an acquaintance. Especially if he’d taken notes…

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Darkling.” The guy beamed at him. “My name is Willford Warfstache. I’m afraid I have to go, but don’t worry, I took notes for you. I’ll see you around.” With that, Wilford handed him a folded sheet of paper, picked up his jacket, and bounced away like an excited puppy. Dark let out a small huff of amusement, before picking up his things and leaving the class. He walked to his dorm, ready to catch up on what he’d missed, and didn’t stop to think about why there was only one sheet’s worth of notes from that class. Instead, his thoughts were full of the mysterious Willford.

The guy was attractive, Dark could admit to that. With his fluffy hair and his strong jawline. And don’t even get him started on those biceps. Dark knew he was well and truly screwed, and there was a slight chance that he wouldn’t be able to focus during his next class with the guy.

Mentally facepalming, Dark entered his dorm. He’d lucked out, he had no roommate, and was two doors from the kitchens, 3 from the showers. It was the nicest thing to not have to walk far to get food in an evening.

Dropping his bag by his feet, he flopped onto his desk chair and kicked off his shoes. He opened up the main zip and took out the single sheet of paper from the ridiculously handsome man in his class, as well as his notebook and his few pens, that had seemed to escape from their case again. However, as he unfolded the page, he found out what Willford had written. A single sentence. In really messy handwriting. With a pink pen.

Needless to say, Dark was angry. But his anger very quickly disappeared when he read what was written.

“We just watched a movie, here’s my number.”

At the bottom of the sheet, there was a string of numbers, which Dark hurriedly added to his contacts.  And if he stayed up that night texting, learning all about his newest ally, well. No one could judge him. Even if he fell asleep in class the next day, he wasn’t worried.

After all, he knew that Wil would take the notes for him in class, should he fall asleep again.

[myimaginationstation]

Love Rekindled Chapter 2

The moon was high in the cloudless night sky as I stood on the street corner to make a couple of bucks. The events that led me here were to be expected though. My mother had died when I was young. As I grew older, my father tried to make me into what he thought was a “proper young man”. He assumed I would chase the girls around just because I had a large group of girl friends in high school. Though when I had turned 15, he found out I was gay and when I turned 16, he kicked me out of the house. So here I was, a year later dressed in booty shorts and fishnets with a tank top to match. I wore my signature converse sneakers. Little did I know however, this would be the night that changed my life in so many ways.

Things weren’t going as well as I had hoped. Despite being dressed the way I was, I was only getting females interested in me for the night and I would have to politely decline their offers no matter how much they offered. It would only be a disappointment to them when I couldn’t perform the way they would want me to. At this point, I was starting to get tired of standing there and was about to give up when a man spoke from behind me.

“How much ya charge?” He asked, standing much closer than I had anticipated him to be.

I jumped a bit, not having heard him come up. Turning around, I faced him and felt myself become lost for words. He was gorgeous. Black hair tied up into a ponytail, an eyepatch covering his left eye and some dress shoes with a bit of metal on the tip of them. He was an absolute stud.

It took me a moment to reply to his question.

“Well… For head ¥3,000 and anal is ¥5,000.” I replied trying to keep my cool.

I’ve never seen a man as attractive as he was. The smirk he gave me made my heart flutter in my chest.

“What about an all-nighter?” He asked stepping closer to me and pressing his body against my own.

I swallowed and bit my lip. That was an absolute first for me and had no idea what to tell him in this situation.

“I-I’ve never had anyone ask me about that before.” I stammered, shocked that he would even want to spend a whole night with me

He chuckled and stroked my cheek with his thumb. His touch went straight to my crotch.

“Then how about we figure out the price when the mornin’ comes? You can make it whatever you want with how satisfied you are with my performance.” He replied wrapping an arm around waist and started walking us towards a hotel.

The way he made it sound was that he was the one selling himself for a bit of cash, but I knew that wasn’t the case at all considering he was the one to pick me up. Wouldn’t it be based off of my performance? I decided not to ask since I didn’t want to scare away the only man who seemed interested in me at the moment.

It took us around ten minutes to reach the hotel from where we were standing on the corner. The walk there and to our room was relatively silent but I wanted to know what his name was. I didn’t want to just call him dude or sir the whole time.

“Soooo…. What’s your name stranger?” I asked hoping to get an answer out of him.

“Majima. Goro Majima. And what about you?” He replied glancing at me.

“Goro huh? Guess I’ll call you Majima-san then. Sounds better. Levi Shishiro at your service.” I answered, liking the way his last name sounded.

After introducing ourselves, we fell into silence once more and stayed that way until we were behind closed doors. He wasted no time in getting me onto the bed. He took his suit jacket off and then the shirt he wore under it before he worked on my clothes. My shirt came off first.                For the first time since I started doing this, I felt shy and wanted to cover myself from his gaze.                “Beautiful.” He said breathlessly and dipped his head down to lick and kiss at my neck.

I gasped and moaned softly letting me head tilt back giving him more of my neck. He seemed to approve of this action when he started to bite and mark my neck.

“W-Wait! If you mark me like this, no one will want to pay for my services!” I managed to say though it didn’t come out near as intimidating as I was wanting it to.

Majima chuckled and pulled back looking down at me with an almost predatory look in his eye. It made me shiver and I could feel myself becoming more aroused by the second.

“Maybe that’s what I want. Maybe I want you all to myself.” He purred dipping back down to continue he marking of my neck.

My hands gripped the sheets on the bed. I wanted to touch him more than anything but my experience with touching another man when he hadn’t told me to didn’t go too well but I couldn’t help it any longer. I needed to touch him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. My body felt like it was burning. My fingers on one hand tangled into his ponytail and I let my other hand feel around his chest and well-toned abs causing him to shiver.

The feelings coursing through my body had never happened with any other men. Why was it that he made me feel this way? I was craving more. I wanted more. I needed more.

“I… I can’t take it anymore. I need you.” I whimpered, shocked I had even said that.

My confession earned me another chuckle and he pulled back from my neck. I immediately missed the feeling of him kissing on me and wanted more. I was harder than a rock. Harder than I had ever been with any other man and I wanted release.

“My, my. So eager. Though I must admit that I haven’t done this in a while. I’m probably harder than you. I guess we could skip the foreplay this time. Though, I might hurt you.” He replied and undid his belt looking down at me with a slight amount of concern.

I shook my head and helped him with his lower half of clothing. Once his belt was undone, he quickly undid his pants and hastily discarded them with his boxers. He tossed them somewhere in the room. I kept my eyes on his face as he started working on my shorts and fishnets. I wore nothing under the shorts so once those were removed, I was completely naked under him. I didn’t want to know how big he was. Not yet.

“I didn’t think you could get any more attractive. I was wrong.” Majima said softly and used his hand with some saliva to lube himself up.

I closed my eyes, heart pounding. This would be the moment I found out how big he was just from feel. I felt him line up and when he started to push into me, my eyes shot open wide and lips parted with a silent gasp of pain. My nails dug into his back causing him to suck in a breath. I wasn’t sure if he enjoyed it or if it legitimately hurt him. I was going through a bit of pain myself from him going in with no prep. I couldn’t blame him since I had basically told him to go without the prep.

“F-Fuck! How big are you?” I gasped out wondering how much more needed to fit and if it would even all fit inside of me.

I got another chuckle as he brushed some of my hair out of my face. I could see sleeping with him over and over if he was always this gentle and caring.

“Well last time I knew I was around 14 inches in length and about 3 thick. Judging from your reaction, I’m the biggest you’ve had.” He replied continuing to gently push into me.

Not only was he the biggest I’ve ever had, he was also the quickest man to ever get inside of me. Most of the clients I got wanted it to last for as long as possible. They would take unnecessarily long to undress me and themselves and the foreplay always last for about an hour before they were even ready to fuck. He was different.

It hurt to suddenly have a massive rod pushing into me without the foreplay but at the same time, it felt so good being so stretched and full. Once he was fully inside, he stayed still to let me adjust and I could tell that he was struggling to keep himself still from the way his arms trembled. I did my best to relax and allow him to move. It seemed to take forever before I was able to adjust and gave him the ok. Almost instantly, he pulled out and thrust back in causing me to moan out and wrap my legs around his waist. I moaned out louder than I had ever done before. It surprised both of us and I blushed deeply covering my mouth with my hand, turning my head away from him. Why had I moaned like that? That’s never happened before. I had always let out fake moans and to me they sounded fake but to other people, it must’ve sounded real enough because they never asked me about it. But this one was much, much different.

“Seems like someone is already enjoying themselves, Though I can’t deny that you feel incredible wrapped so tightly around my cock.” He murmured against my ear and pulled my hand from my mouth, pinning both of my hands above my head with one of his.

He gripped my hip and used the leverage to move me with him. Every time he pulled out, he would pull out to the tip of his cock and then thrust all the way back into me. Long drawn out moans filled the room and bounced off the walls. I didn’t care if anyone heard us. It felt too good to keep quiet.  

There were so many firsts happening tonight in a span of just a few hours. His touch sent me into a frenzy, I wanted this to last for as long as it could. I wanted to kiss him.                His thrusts picked up speed causing the headboard of the bed to hit the wall gently and he seemed to have read my mind. His head bent down and he kissed me. Deeply. His lips were soft and plump. I eagerly returned his kiss.

As we kissed, he wrapped his free hand around my throbbing cock causing me to gasp and moan out into his waiting mouth. As soon as my lips parted, he slid his tongue into my mouth and played with mine. We battled for dominance and he won without too much trouble. With his victory, he began thrusting faster and harder, the headboard now banging loudly off the wall. My back arched and I balled my hands tightly, my nails digging into my palms. My moans were muffled by his lips and I could feel my orgasm quickly approaching. Majima seemed to have sensed this, probably from me tightening around his cock and the way my cock throbbed in his hand and began to jerk my cock in time with his thrusts. My body began to tremble and when he felt I wasn’t getting closer he angled his thrusts. He soon found what he was looking for the moment I threw my head back and cried out. I was ready to fall over the edge.

“Call my name. Cry it out with everything you have as you cum. Let the whole place know how you feel. If you’re a good boy, I’ll fill you with my cum. “Majima growled, the lust in his voice making me shiver.

I couldn’t hold it back any longer. I cried out as loud as I could, his name echoing loudly off the walls with the pleasure I felt. My semen covered my stomach and his. Just as he promised, he buried his cock as deep as he could and came inside of me. He pumped his hips with each spurt of his cum until he couldn’t cum anymore. I moaned and shivered from the feeling and laid there under him panting heavily.

He pulled out of me and used a tissue nearby to clean us up then flopped down on the other side of the bed panting just as heavily as I was. I rolled over onto to my stomach and rested my head on the pillow. I decided to get a good look at him just on the off chance I never got to see him again. The thought of that made me sad but I pushed the feeling away. I’ll deal with that later.

I started down at his cock and no surprise there. He looked as big as he felt. Moving up, his stomach was nicely toned with sculpted abs. His chest was also well defined with his pecs. What caught my attention the most, however, was the large tattoo that covered his pecs and seemed to go onto his back. The left snake had it’s mouth open and was pure white with yellow eyes. The other snake was similar only the positioning was slightly different and it’s mouth was closed with it’s tongue sticking out. Black and white clouds surrounded both of them. Red flowers with green leaves and yellow centers were dotted about pulling the whole tattoo together on the front.

Finally, I came to his clean-shaven face. He had a nicely defined jaw line and his cheeks seem to but sunken in a little bit. I hadn’t realized he was watching me until I glanced up and his brown eye met with my green ones. I blinked and blush a deep shade of red. He shifted, laying so he was facing me completely.

“Like what ya see? You must if you did a full body sweep like that.” He teased, lightly rubbing my back as I tried to fight my blush down. It seemed to only get worse.

I rolled my eyes and tried to play it off cool.

“I just figured I’d take a good look at ya while I could.” I replied, trying to sound as uninterested and bored as possible.

He merely smirked and raised an eyebrow at my answer, letting me know he didn’t believe me at all.

“If yer really that unimpressed and disappointed in me I can go.” Majima taunted sitting up and sitting on the edge or the bed, getting ready to get up.

Without thinking, I flung myself around him, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist and preventing him from leaving. Upon realizing what I had done, I quickly let him go and turned away from him. That probably didn’t do anything in my favor. If anything he was going to pay me less for that. I heard him chuckle and shift. He grabbed me and pulled me back down into a laying position. My back was pressed against his chest as he held me.

“Before you go apologizin’ on me, I want ya to know that you did nothin’ wrong. I wanted to see how you would react. Good to know you didn’t want me to leave. Cause I want to spend more time with you too.” He said softly placing a soft kiss on my head.

I blinked. This wasn’t actually happening was it? There’s no way this stranger wanted to spend extra time with me. This was just a one-time thing and then he would pay me, and we would go our separate ways. At least, that’s what I was telling myself.

“You’re spacing out on me.” Majima’s voice floated into my thoughts bringing me back to the present situation.

“Sorry. I tend to do that. Don’t take it personally.” I replied and curled up trying to scoot away from him. He only tightened his grip on me.

After tonight, I wouldn’t feel these things for a man I didn’t know. It was just another job that was done. This was the only time I was going to see him and that would be that. I felt him press closer to my back and I tried to keep my breathing steady.

“Somethin’s bothering you. I can tell. What’s wrong?” Majima asked, the concern evident in his voice.

“And here I thought I kept my emotions in check this whole time. Don’t worry about it Majima-chan. You don’t have to worry about me.” I replied, thankful that my voice stayed strong.

I figured the conversation was over since he wasn’t saying anything. That thought lasted all but two second when he flipped me over onto my back and pinned me down. He stared intently at me and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. No matter how many times I looked at him, I couldn’t get over just how attractive he was.

“Please talk to me Levi.” Majima said softly, voice pleading.

The tone of his voice and the look on his face made me want to tell him right there. I could tell he really wanted me to talk to him about it. I almost broke right there and spilled my gut out to him.

“Trust me. It’s not that important. Especially since we probably won’t see each other after this. There really is no point in talking to you about it. It seems almost pointless if we aren’t going to meet up again.” I replied and forced myself to looked away from him.

Something was far different with this meetup than the rest of the ones I had done. My heart never wanted to beat normally and every touch from him made me want him that much more. From the corner of my eye, I could see him frown. Was he really that interested in what was bothering me? Why? It wasn’t something he would have to deal with the moment he left me.

“Tell you what, if we meet up a few more times after this, I’ll open up. But that also means you have to open up to me.” I said and looked back at him.

I could see the hesitation in his face after my words sunk into his brain. Looks like I got out of this one. Scored one for Levi.

“Alright. Deal.”

Fuck. That wasn’t the answer that I had been expecting. With how much he had been hesitating, I would have figured he’d say no for sure and that I wouldn’t have to talk about this.

“I can tell that you weren’t expecting that answer. I can tell you don’t want to about it right now and I won’t pressure you into telling me.” Majima replied brushing his thumb over my lip.

This one man turned my whole world upside down. He was the one I was looking to be with for the rest of my life. Where had he been this whole time? Even more so, would I ever see him again? That was the biggest thing I was worried about at this point in time. I let out a sigh and caved in.

“Fine. But I’m holding you to that.” I retorted and looked away from him again.

I could see him smile from the corner of my eye and I could help but roll my eyes. This man was a strange one. He surprised me further by stretching out and laying his head on my chest with both arms wrapped around me. This caused me to look at him and from this position, I was able to see the full extent of his tattoo. I knew it had to have been huge, but I wasn’t expecting it to be as big as it was. A large Hannya face that followed the same color scheme as the snakes on his chest went all the way down his back and stopped just above his ass.

I blinked. I knew people who had tattoos this large. The only reason they had them was because they were in the yakuza. Then it dawned on me. He was part of a yakuza family! Would he die if he was found a man? Would I die? What would happen to me if he or one of his family members didn’t kill me? I needed to stop my brain on it’s thought process and focus on the situation now. He didn’t seem like the type to kill and he didn’t have anyone following him. It eased some of the worry in me but at the same time, I couldn’t stop worrying.

We continued to chat idly about random things we liked to do until we both fell asleep. That night was the first time I ever slept peacefully.