#I’ve been watching yuri on ice can you tell

[paper-cities]

[biceratops7]

Victor nikiforov and empathy:

Following my fifth (?) rewatch I found yet another reason to be completely in love with Yuri on Ice, and that is Victor being a wonderfully accurate and non-demonized example of someone with low empathy. Seriously as someone who’s autistic and can’t relate to the influx of “actually we’re all super in tune to other’s feelings and have the MOST empathy!”, watch these scenes because this is what it’s like.

This line at first seems to be Yakov thinking that Victor is arrogant, but Yakov knows him extremely well. He knows that Victor has a hard time viscerally placing himself in another’s shoes, and that’s a major obstacle as a coach.

Victor has trouble understanding what to do in situations that are highly emotional for Yuuri. Instead of being able to directly consider things through Yuuri’s perspective, we see him rely pretty often on environment cues, behavioral cause and affect, or straightforward commands.

He gets his habit of scolding yuri after a routine from Yakov because that’s what he’s familiar with. It’s not something Yuuri responds to particularly well, but it’s only when Victor pays attention to how others react when Yuuri finishes skating that he changes tactic. Victor sees how the crowd is going wild at the (Japan nationals) and it’s only then it occurs to him that Yuuri’s confidence may be jeopardized if he chooses that moment to criticize his performance. This is something he likely would’ve realized much sooner if he could share Yuuri’s stress easier instead of merely observing that it’s happening.

Then later on in episode 7, we get to the scene that actually inspired this post.

At first Victor approached the situation almost like an experiment, trying out cause and effect to disastrous results. When you have a much lower threshold for being able to experience another’s feelings second hand, it’s difficult not to think of other’s negative emotions simply as problems that need to be solved. Problem: Yuuri won’t perform well because he’s too anxious, he will only be MORE upset if he loses, and Victor has already tried to reduce his anxiety to no avail. Idea for solution: raise the stakes and see if increased pressure can replace his nerves with resolve, causing a good performance. Afterward, Yuuri will be proud of himself and happy again. Execute plan, observe results, adjust accordingly. When comfort doesn’t come naturally, this tends to be kind of the default. From experience it comes from a genuine place of caring even when it backfires (and it actually doesn’t at times), basically trying to actually fix the thing upsetting your loved one instead of play acting feelings you don’t get.

… however Yuuri was COMPLETELY within his rights yelling at Victor because regardless of intent he picked the worst thing on planet earth to say in that exact moment. I mean I’ve had my fair share of “oh crap someone is upset and it’s my responsibility” fails but my fuck-

He’s shown to be pretty shit at comforting Yuri/ detached emotionally from the situation, but he is neither coldly unbothered nor strategically hiding it. It may appear callous to bluntly say “I don’t know how to help you” to a loved one who’s crying, but as someone who’s been there, that’s an insanely vulnerable thing to admit. “I don’t feel your pain, I don’t get it. But I love you, and just because I’m not feeling it myself doesn’t mean I don’t care that you’re hurting.”

When Yuri finally just straight up tells Victor what to do, he is relieved and simply does it. Things are different between them after this episode because Yuuri finds the power to communicate his needs clearly and effectively. Victor doesn’t speak “subtlety” well. Yakov and Yurio both speak their mind to him directly regardless of if it’s polite, Which is quite telling because they’re the two characters he has the longest history with. It shows us the kind of communication style Victor is accustomed to and needs to navigate interpersonal relationships.

I’m not making a statement that Victor is autistic or even disordered per say. I feel his unusual circumstances provide enough explanation, but I really do see that he consistently struggles with empathy in the same way I do. He’s probably the only character I’ve been able to see that aspect of myself in with scenes that aren’t played for jokes.

[remypat]

In 2016, I heard many of my friends talk about a new anime centered around figure skating. I was eighteen years old, closeted, and I had never given figure skating a second thought. It just didn’t seem appealing to me. Well, after a couple weeks of having my tumblr page be flooded with clips from Yuri on Ice, I caved in and watched it. After all, you can only see butt-naked Victor so many times before finally saying “You know what? I guess I’ll give it a try”

And Oh My God. My life was never the same. 

First off, the story that is woven in this anime is so beautifully hilarious. Like, you’re telling me, that this 27 year old living legend got swept off his feet by a drunk Japanese man and he dropped everything to go be his coach? At eighteen, it seemed ridiculous but now as an openly queer 26 year old, all I can say is: I GET IT. I would have been in Japan yesterday. I’m a writer that loves campy humor and this was not just my cup of tea, it was like ambrosia sent from the gods of olympus. I love it.

I also fell in love with figure skating. I’ve watched Worlds, the Grand Prix, Nationals, and both the 2018 and 2022 Winter Olympics through my TV screen. I was so into figure skating, I still remember when Nathan Chen said that it was really hard for him (a straight man) to compete a gay-dominated sport. (Yeah, no one wants to bring that up since he won his gold medal.) But my point is, Yuri on Ice means a lot to me. It always will. Thanks to YOI, I fell in love with figure skating and it’s thanks to that love that I have created my own little story centered around figure skating. 

My story is called Why Lie Now?

Yes, it is a queer romance and yes, it is about figure skating, but it’s not Yuri on Ice. I cannot possibly ask you all to fill the void in your hearts with my story, but I implore you, that if you like queer romances, and you like figure skating, you just might really like this story too. 

I am updating in parts but for the meantime, please check it out!

[autisticempathydaemon]

(I’m re-typing this because I forgot some key information and I apologize in advance for any typos or confusion, I’m bad at typing)

Hi, idk if you still answer these but it looked fun to try! I hope you’ve had a good day/night, may your dreams be pleasant and your crops watered for the ✨harvest✨

* What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

I don’t currently have one favorite but “Never Coming Back” from Violet Evergarden, “The Road Not Taken” by Hoyo-Mix, “Smooth Operator” by Sade and “Control” by Loveless are currently the top 4 for the day (honorable mention to “Kapp’n Song” from ACNH) I don’t really have a reason and it’s kinda just what my brain chemistry currently likes

* What is your Enneagram type?

9?? I think, I’m not entirely sure sense I got confused trying to figure it out X~X

* Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

ABSOLUTELY!! I’m not sure if I have a reason? Maybe it’s because I can just sit and listen to something I’m interested in for a long time and just relax and focus on one thing?? I also like to listen to livestreams and other long videos, I tend to watch/listen to “AthenaP”, “EIsSocial” and a Persona 4 analysis from “Hiding in Private”.

* Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

My brain didn’t cook one up

* What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Rotating like a rotisserie chicken, Comforter/Blanket on, Hugging a Plushie (usually this Peep I’ve had sense 2018 or my Wolf Build-A-Bear) and one earbud in either playing music, a rp audio (currently redacted) or an analysis video ive heard about 20 times

* If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I’ve been through a lot of names online due to my indecisive-ness but currently I was thinking KC/Kayce. I have a lot of memories associated with the name and I like how it sounds <3

* What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

The Smash Tournament with the Shaw Pack, Sam Healing you after the Fight with the Two Vampires (or honestly any Sam Audio), and the Gameboi’s Anthology. I think it’s the comforting/close/intimate (in a way?not sussy intimate tho) nature of the audios

* What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

I haven’t listened to most of the boys/stories and I tend to cater my listening to what I know I already like with little to no experimentation; so I don’t really have a boy(s) in mind that doesn’t appeal to me as of right now

* Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

either “Yuri! On Ice” or “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”. I watched both of these shows WAYY to many times to the point it’s concerning!! YOI which reminded me of my love of figure skating (watching and ice skating in general) and then I got into MLPFIM when the Season 2 final (Canterlot Wedding) aired and was obsessed after that for like 6yrs and still have moments of fixation for a couple days.

* Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Probably Huxley, Lasko and/or Caelum.. and like all of the Shaw Pack (I’m indecisive)

* Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

If I still have energy to talk/think, Pokémon. Tired, Half-Asleep, My Own Funeral or Given the Opportunity, I will become the Yap King for about 3hrs!! Once I get my Communication Skills under wraps it’s over for Everyone! >:D

* Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

I don’t go to the gas station more than like 3 times a year, but probably a carbonated drink.. or lemonade if available. I’m a self-proclaimed slut for lemonade 24/7, 365.

* Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

If you mean the Redactedverse, then Sam, Porter (I made my own sense there isn’t an official one as of typing this) and Gamboi’s. But if you Music, then a playlist I made called “more tunes” and it has all my Emotion-Filled, Loud and Auditor-ally Stimulating Songs like “Enter Sandman” by Metallica, “Control” by Loveless and like 1/4 of 6arleyhumans Discography to listen to when I’m Under-stimulated or just Bored

* What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Idk if I have a “Guilty Pleasure” but I have a “Angry Pleasure” and that’s Miraculous Ladybug. I waited 8yrs real time for some of the stuff that goes down and in their time it’s been like 9 months. I’m gonna cut myself off before I rant but damn do I have a love-hate relationship with this show

* And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

I’m an INFP, I’m the Middle Child of 3, I have Psychological Parental Problems, I love the Stars and Anything Outer-Space themed/related, My favorite color is Blue, I’m more of a Listener then a Talker, I tend to think about my Past, I’m probably Mentally Ill (specifically, I think I have Depression, Anxiety, Autism and MAYBE BPD/Borderline Personality Disorder. gotta love multi-wielding these issues), Love the Mystery Genre and specifically I’m always down for a Murder Mystery at a Mansion, People Pleaser™, I like the Rain and Cold Weather, I prefer to binge rather than one at a time otherwise I’m probably never finishing the media in question, I own 2/3 cats (it’s complicated, their names are Lucifer, Hazel and Marbles <3), My favorite food is Ice Cream (yes it’s a food, fight me.) I’m pretty sure I gave up my dream to be a professional figure skater and go to the Olympics but I hope to ice skate more when I get the opportunity, and finally “It’s not the Heat, it’s the Humidity”.

Thank you for your time <3 (platonic heart for existing)

This was a hard one for me because I have an inkling that the boy I’m picking for you, you haven’t listened to. Ollie isn’t the most narratively interesting playlist on the channel, but I do think he’d be the most perfect for you.

First and foremost, Ollie is an openly communicative, affectionate, and supportive partner; these are really good traits when dating a Type Nine who are characterized by a desire for peace and harmony, the people pleasers of the Enneagram. When his Baby signs up for too much work or has family issues, he’s right there helping you however he can, uplifting you. Next, Ollie is definitely also an introvert, and I love that for y’all, that the home you made together is where you go to recharge. It’s a good home and a good life- no Inversion, no covert, just comfort and safety and fun.

Like, Ollie’s no werewolf, vampire, or daemon obvs. He’s just a guy, but he’s a guy who’d love your cats and introduce you to his own. He’d buy you a telescope and put it in his office so you could look at the stars together. He’d watch Yuri on Ice and Miraculous Ladybug for the first time with you because he wants to engage with your interests and is curious about what the person he loves loves. I don’t think he can figure skate for shit, but he goes with you all the time anyway no matter how many times he falls on his butt. What he is good at is games, and he hosts a murder mystery party for your birthday every year.

Song:

Hey, hey, hey, lover (hey-hey)/ You don't have to be a star/ Hey, hey, hey, lover (hey-hey)/ I love you just the way you are/ For love is just the same/ Without fortune or fame/ Just give me/ True love and understanding

This, to me, is the quintessential Ollie song, I think of him whenever I hear it. It’s cute, and the backing tracks are layered in a way I find so satisfying and I hope you find auditorily stimulating. I can imagine this playing through a shared set of earbuds or a little Bluetooth speaker while you hold his hands and help him stay upright on ice skates.

Runner-ups:

Camelopardalis is a really cute runner-up for you, because he’d be such a supportive presence for someone who identifies as a people pleaser. I also like pairing d(a)emons with people who love space, because it’s so cute to imagine them pointing out their constellation to you. Your other runner-up is, of course, Xavier who could make you an ice skating rink whenever he wants and happily would.

Note: I think you modified and submitted your entry a couple of times, so I picked the one that I felt gave me the most information to work with.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction]

I’ve had a YouTube channel for nearly two decades. The first video I ever posted was in 2006. It was a Power Rangers fanvid and while it’s not the worst video ever created, it’s definitely not the best. It was a weird choice of song (Spirit of Man from War of the Worlds) and some of the clips are badly trimmed so there’s a frame or two of the next scene/shot at the start or end in a few places.

Since then, I’ve made a bunch of other videos, music videos for shows or fake trailers for some of my fanfics (many of those fics were posted on sites that no longer exist). I don’t post often these days, but every once in a while I’ll get struck with the urge to make a fanvid for a film or TV show that I like. Recently, it’s been The Sandman and the Dreamling ship in particular.

In all this time, my YouTube channel has never been monetised. When I first started the channel, that wasn’t even an option, as YouTube monetisation wasn’t a thing on the platform until December 2007, the year after I posted my first video, and even then, I don’t think it was available for anyone to apply to once they hit certain thresholds the way it is today.

So yeah, when I started, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to monetise my channel. Then I had a real world job and my video creation dropped off and in recent years, I haven’t met the monetisation thresholds, so it hasn’t been an option and I haven’t given it much thought. After all, I didn’t start making silly little fanvids expecting to make money from them, and most of them would be demonetised anyway because of the use of copyrighted material.

But recently I checked my analytics out of curiosity and I’m within reach of those monetisation thresholds. I got a load more views than usual around October and November last year for no reason I can see. There’s an obvious bump in the watch time analytics for a couple of months before it drops down to my usual trickle of views. I’ve no idea why it happened or why it stopped, but it was enough of a bump that I’m now at 3997 hours of watch time for the past year, with the monetisation threshold being 4000 hours.

Given how close I am, it feels like I should try to push to meet the eligibility criteria and apply for the YouTube partner programme, just so that it’s an option for me if I want it. And I clearly need to do it in the next few months, because I don’t expect to replicate that spike in views from October. But over the next month or two, getting 3 more hours of watch time than I got in the same time period last year feels like a realistic thing to achieve, even if almost all of my videos are under 5 minutes long.

Especially if I actually tell people that I have YouTube videos. So here I am, telling people. If you enjoy fan made music videos, please consider giving some of mine a watch.

Here are a few of them:

Ranger Spirit, the first ever video I ever posted on my YouTube channel, made in Windows Movie Maker, with all of the mistakes and badly trimmed shots:

One of my recent videos, Meet Me On The Battlefield, for The Sandman fandom:

Sticking with Neil Gaiman for the time being, an ineffable husbands video for Good Omens season 2, What Hurts the Most:

The video that got the most views during that weird spike in my analytics, I Don’t Deserve You for the show White Collar, focusing on the relationship between Peter, Neal and Elizabeth:

And for a silly challenge I gave myself, I tried to use footage from Dirk Gently’s season two to create a trailer that looked like a serious fantasy film. That was not easy, given how ridiculous the armies looked:

My channel has absolutely no consistency in terms of what I post. I will make videos for whatever happens to grab my attention at the time, so across the lifespan of my channel I have fanvids for Yuri on Ice, the MCU, Teen Wolf, Charmed, Voltron, The Chronicles of Narnia (both the old BBC TV show and the films), Doctor Who (and spin offs), X-Men, Kamen Rider Dragon Knight, The Sentinel, The Tribe, and more Power Rangers than feels comfortable now given my age. If any of those grab your attention, please take a watch and help me hit that 4000 hours threshold.

[legallyhermione]

Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Ooooof this is such a hard question!! Thank you for the ask, I love this kinda stuff!!

Without further ado, and in no particular order, here they are!

1. Any of MXTX’s content (I’m counting them as one because I love too many things 😭): For me, these novels and adaptations were my first foray into danmei and Chinese media. I also discovered them at a time when I was questioning my identity and coming to terms with the fact I’m queer (which is…not really accepted in my family). I watched The Untamed first, then read fan translations of the novels before they started being officially translated, and I keep coming back to them because I find them so thought provoking. I like that none of the characters are presented as perfect people; they’re all flawed humans, but we love them anyway.

2. Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty: found family, Sherlock Holmes-like detective skills, spies, political machinations, food as a form of love? What more could I ask for! I just love this show. Haven’t gotten to read the novel it’s based on yet, but I’m hoping to soon!

3. Yuri on Ice: one of the first anime I ever watched, and it’s just so sweet and lovely. Definitely one of my comfort shows! Plus there are some crazy good fics. Still hoping one day we’ll get the movie!

4. Harry Potter: I struggle with this one a lot, because I very much dislike JKR’s transphobic rhetoric. But the fan spaces of Harry Potter provided me with support and escape I needed many times throughout my life, and for that the fandom of Harry Potter will always hold a special place in my heart. It’s been a part of my life nearly as long as I can remember.

5. Thousand Autumns: another one with some very morally grey characters! I love thinking about who and what is right and wrong, and this novel definitely makes you think about it. Lots of political world building as well, which I love.

6. My Cousin Vinny: a fantastic movie that I have many fond memories about. The jokes and digs about the south vs the north in the US always make me laugh, and as someone who has lived many years in both of those areas, those scenes make me giggle.

7. Haikyuu!: another one of my comfort shows! It’s just happy and fun and adorable. I love this one. I watched it sooooo many times during lockdown.

8. BBC Merlin: was morgana my bi awakening? I shan’t tell! Suchhh a good show, I miss it so much. Another fandom that has some incredibleeeee fanfics. Y’all writers are so talented.

9. Our Flag Means Death: I think this was maybe my first piece of media that explicitly included multiple queer characters but the entire storyline wasn’t only about the otherness and pain of being queer (or just a stereotyped role). This show made me feel seen in ways no other media had before. Plus, the show is gay pirates. It doesn’t get much better than that!

10. Avatar the Last Airbender: me and my siblings all loved this show, and we still watch it together often whenever we’re together. It’s so good. Zuko’s character development is still quite possibly the best redemption arc I’ve seen. I love it.

Phew. It was so hard to choose 10! I’m glad you didn’t ask me to pick one because I’m afraid that would’ve been impossible for me! What are your favorites???

💚

[hanajay769]

Describing the anime’s that I’ve watched in a few words with recommendations! PT 4 (because I really like doing this)

Nanbaka: a bunch of prison buddies in a jail cell, they try to escape whenever they’re bored but never actually end up getting out. Not like they want to leave anyway..

(My sister introduced me to this show actually)(honestly if I lived in this jail I wouldn’t want to leave either)(very much a comedy series season 1 but it does get more serious in season 2)(so I’ve been told.. I actually haven’t watched season 2 yet)(recommend for funnies and the interactions between characters!)

FREE! Iwatobi swim club: super cute boys in a swim club

(That’s.. it)(Why are sports anime always gay? Watching free will not give you the answer)(no I’m being Fr, Free is somehow gayer than Yuri on Ice. AND THATS SAYING SOMETHING)(I never actually finished free but it’s very unforgettable I’ve been meaning to go back to it)(recommend bc honestly it’s a fun watch and sports anime’s are always nice!)

Yona of the Dawn: pink haired princess is forced out of her castle and now she’s following the road the gods have left for her by reuniting the 4 dragon warriors.

(Naïve kind of annoying princess turns badass with a bow)(sorry for calling you annoying yona but.. you were)(another show my sister got me to watch)(filled with very likable characters, I’m not kidding. I have at least 3 favs)(if you love adventure animes, traveling to help out an oncoming war and relationships then this is the Shojo for you!)

Youre lie in April: A traumatized pianist finds a lively violinist one day and she inspires him to play again.

(“Inspires” more like forces😭)(KIMIDAYO KIMI NAN DAYO OSHIETE KURETAAAAAA)(literally so pretty and nice and so so heartbreaking like if you don’t cry at least once watching this then idk what to tell you)(I’m sorry for recommending an anime that will make you cry but…)(ITS SO GOOD THO)(recommended for heart feeling,

Yuri on ice: black haired male Japanese figure skater gets trained by the best white haired male Russian figure skater which also happens to be his idol.

(Pt 2 why are sports animes so gay?)(WE WERE, BORN TO MAKE HISTORY)(the sub for this show is my baby, the dub will make you double take at the shit being said but those are the GOOD dubs)(i’m a sexy pork cutlet bowl *eros plays*)(wait but can we TALK about the music in this anime like I’m obsessed!!)(recommended for peeps who like figure skating, funnies and for Yuri, bc he’s my favorite character (: )

[ecargmura]

Buddy Daddies Episode 1 Review: Are You the Daddy?

It's been a while since I last did solid reviewing for anime. Sometimes, my anime watching funk meanders like a wave. However, Winter 2023 has interesting anime, so I am willing to resume my anime reviews.

You can read my review on my blog (Click here) but if you don't want to, continue below.

The reason I picked up Buddy Daddies as one of my two go-to watch for Winter 2023 is because I like Spy x Family. I like the concept and premise of Spy x Family and Buddy Daddies seems like it. While the premise of the two shows are similar in that two people with dangerous jobs adopt a child, but that’s where the similarities end.

The story is about two assassins that are polar opposites, Kazuki Kurusu (28) and Rei Suwa (25), and are roommates. Kazuki is more domestic and womanizing while Rei is just tired, emo and is only proficient in assassination. They live their lives through acquiring assassination jobs they receive from their colleague and they are accidentally responsible for caring for Miri Unasaka after they killed her biological father in the first episode.

Yes, the guy who pointed a gun at Miri is her father, NOT Kazuki. You can tell the difference from the eye color and eyebrow size. Miri and her biological father have amber eyes and her father has thicker eyebrows. Kazuki’s eyes are red and he has thinner eyebrows.

The VA cast is SICK! Toshiyuki Toyonaga and Kouki Uchiyama reunite once again! If you’re not familiar, these two have been paired up in anime such as Blast of Tempest (the main leads), Kimi to Boku (as two of the four childhood friends) and Yuri on Ice (as Yuri Katsuki and Yuri Plisetsky). These two are perfect pairs to play as leads! Also, you can’t have a BL-ish anime without the BL Emperor himself, Toshiyuki Morikawa! Him being casted here is a sign of the BL-coding! I never heard Hina Kino before, but her voice as Miri is super cute! Because of Tosshi and Ucchi’s previous leading roles with each other, their voices have so much chemistry and it shows in their characters! I can’t wait to see more to hear how all the cast mesh together.

However, this is most likely not going to be a BL anime. It’s not because Kazuki is presumably heterosexual, but it’s because it’s not stated as such. I consider these ambiguous BLs because they’re not BL, but are targeted for the fujoshi demographic. But hey, that doesn’t mean it’s not enjoyable. You’re also allowed to see it as BL if you wish to do so.

I’ve never watched a P.A. Works show before, but I really love the smooth movement in animation, especially during the Rei scenes. They’re so fluid. Other than the Rei scenes, I really like the running animations. The scene with Miri jumping to Kabuki’s arms is also another good scene. 

Because the show started off in media res with the two already living and caring for Miri, it’s unknown how much time has passed since their first encounter with her that Christmas Day. It seems that Rei isn’t used to her yet, so the story will probably take place some time after the little prologue scene with the two.

I’m curious to see where this goes. Kazuki and Rei don’t seem to have a solid friendship yet, so I’m sure living with Miri will ultimately change that for both of them. There are also a lot of questions that form from the first episode alone. My biggest question is if they’ll get that cat by the end of the show. That cat deserves to live with them. Kazuki deserved that clap back from Rei.

[coffee-at-annies]

F, N, T?

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

Well this is the hockey sideblog and I’ve been active over here since around 2017. I transitioned from omgcp and yuri on ice to primarily hockey around 2018-2020 and I’ve been here since. There’s fluctuations in interest and my levels of fandom participation but y’know it’s weird being able to say I’ve actively been here for around 5 years.

For passive fandom I’ve been a fan of dc/teen titans since the OG cartoon and when they rebooted teen titans after Donna’s death. So like I’ve been a passive Tim Drake+ fan for some 15-20 years, I’m just not active in dc comics fandom outside of like reading fanfic. Idk if I could call that my longest fandom since I’m not creating any content. If reading a thing counts I’ve also been actively reading Girl Genius for over 10 years.

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

*stares deep into the middle distance and contemplates how much I want to whack the hornets nest* Hope you’re prepared for more hockey.

More love/interest for non-superstar players. Everyone has their guy, their blorbo, their favorite, but that’s very frequently the big guys on the team y’know. The emotional support depth forward or third D deserves love too

This feels very silly since I’m talking about professional sports but a thing I see people struggling with when posting about sports online is emotional regulation in regards to losses. Watching your special guys lose sucks. The serotonin broadcast didn’t make the happy win chemical. It can be worse if you spent money to see it live. That’s hard to deal with. I repeat, it’s really hard to deal with if you’re new to it and deep in the hyperfixation. I’ve struggled with it myself. The place I see issues is that some people make that others’ problem either by doomspiraling or baiting. It’s not the job of a stranger on the internet to tell you how to manage your emotions and expectations. Losing happens. Losing streaks happen. How you deal with it is a reflection on you. I understand that sometimes we get folks who are experiencing baby’s first fandom and haven’t figured out how not to make their emotions everyone else’s problem, but it’s an absolutely essential skill in any fandom or interpersonal context.

This is aimed at the more fannish side of things but I wish there was more variation. I see a lot of team mom and nesting omega jokes and I’m like why is it always the same person getting written as feminized/sub/bottom/omega. Why are we recreating cishet gender nonsense for mlm ships? Where’s the alpha/alpha? The switching? Why does everything have to be rigid? Where’s the fluidity in who does what? In interpretations? Where is the fluidity of human sexuality? I feel like people are sometimes holding so tightly to a headcanon that they forget to be playful with it. Or maybe the tightness is the playfulness and that’s how you see the guy. It doesn’t match up with how I see them but that’s fine. I just feel like there’s so much emphasis on getting it right that we aren’t exploring what else right could look like.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Oh tons. I’ve partaken in “he would not fucking say that” a bunch. There’s lots of stuff for any number of fandoms that are tightly held and I’ll die on this hill. I’m also very flexible most of the time. I’m both very specific about my headcanons and also willing to change based on what’s going on. I contain multitudes and so does fandom.

Heck occasionally I have two ride or die headcanons that are contradictory because thats just how it is sometimes. I’m trying to think of an example but I’m not coming up with anything specific. The joy of fandom is defending my headcanons to the death and then getting up and finding another hill to die on. Fandom should be about joy and play. If it doesn’t spark joy I should figure out why and what I can do about it and move on. No use dwelling on a thing that isn’t making me happy unless it’s like an angst headcanon in which case I’m getting joy from the saddness.

Letter Asks

[kingofthewilderwest]

Do you watch anime? I liked Tokyo Revengers and Pacific Rim: The Black.

Aw heck yeah, Pacific Rim, I've been meaning to get to the show. Since like. BEFORE it came out! Augh, and still haven’t gotten to it... anyway, that’s to say: you’ve got good taste!

I watch a little anime. Not much - I could count what shows I've seen. I've seen FMA 2003, Brotherhood, and other materials associated with the two Fullmetal Alchemist shows. FMAB is the anime I live and breathe the most. I've seen Yuri on Ice, Madoka Magica, the first Fruits Basket series, the first season of Sword Art Online, and episodes of shows like Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni, Baccano, Kill La Kill, and Hero Tales. I own a physical copy of Beast King Golion, one of the three anime that was used to create Voltron: Defender of the Universe (though I've only seen DotU and not BKG). And I'm one of those people who quite enjoys Hetalia.

That’s not everything, but it’s a high percentage of it. I haven’t even seen most Ghibli movies. You can see I don’t get to much. It’s because I prefer reading manga first. And I don’t get to manga fast, either. I wait for access to physical copies. And there’s the fact I don’t consume many shows, etc. in general.

I know what I’ll get to “next.” But I’ll leave that for people to wonder ;) because I prefer consuming materials without someone watching me watch it. I don’t like the pressure of expectations and I hella don’t like recommendations. I like to be [strikes awesomely cool spy pose] undercover in what I watch, and then tell people after I’ve gotten to it! That’s to say: I have several big anime, both classic and recent, on my To Watch List, and I’ve been in the mood to get to them, so it might be coming soon! (though “soon” can mean “in the next two years”)

Several years ago I started to teach myself Japanese because I wanted a non-translated understanding of the dialogue. I've since been lazy on Japanese, but want to get back to it - I clicked with it naturally and was having a blast. Hilariously, in addition to Japanese being helpful with the slight-slight-slight otaku side of me, Japanese is useful in my passion for bluegrass. Japan was the second biggest country to be into bluegrass starting in the 1960s, which means that, to this day, using the Japanese language is the only way I can find some resources. An unexpected benefit of learning Japanese when I first wanted to cry over Royai!

[merrrrrrrrry]

hello 🫶🏻

sorry i’m so late replying everything has been insane 🙃 but anyways!!! i am literally so excited for reveal day so i can show you craft pictures!! especially the taylor tickets bc im still so happy with how they turned out 🥹 i saw the friend i made them for last night so we could exchange gifts and they loved the tickets and everything else i made for them so much and it made me so so happy 😭🥹 they made me stuff too and i wanna show you that stuff as well bc im literally obsessed and just wanna show everyone 🥺

it sucks you weren’t able to see much of the store bc it was so crowded 😔 hopefully there’s less people when you go back after your second semester 🫶🏻 on the topic of your second semester though i hope it goes super well for you!!! manifesting a chill start to the semester and minimal stress throughout (and if there is any stress i’ll still be here to listen to rants if you want 💗)

the cookie scoop sadly died a tragic death 20 minutes after i first started using it djshsj im glad you’re enjoying yuri on ice!! i have so many anime recs from my friends and i’ve just never gotten around to watching any of them 😬

i hope the past few days have been treating you well 🫶🏻💗

-✨holiday pal✨

ps- hugs and smooches are both accepted ✨

I am so sorry for replying so so late to you

Things have been a bit intense and insane on my end as well. Something's up that I'll tell you about in a few days because of which stuff has been a bit frantic at home

I'm looking forward to seeing EVERYTHING!!!! it must have felt so good to see your friend happy ❣️💕

I'll be sure to remember your offer to listen to rants🤣🤣 because I think there will be a few at least. One of our professors has mailed us the course outline for their subject today so that has been a knock on the door for me. I've been having a chill time with family but now I'll have to go back and stay so far away from them again. I don't mind staying in the hostel and being responsible for myself and washing my clothes by hand myself and all that stuff but i wish i could get to hug my parents and forcibly cuddle up to my brother whenever I want the way i do at home.

Oh my god, why did that happen? Was the cookie scoop very weak?

I finished Yuri on ice and i loved it. It was really fun. I don't know if I told you this but i randomly read fanfic on ao3 of the show ages before i ever watched it so now it'll be fun to go read fic after finally having watched it

The past few days have been okay. The Christmas lunch was a success. The dinner went a bit wonky, my pasta was perfectly well rolled out and cut but i undercooked them slightly🥲😔 but they loved the hummus and okonomiyaki at lunch and the pasta sauce at night as well as the cake so I'm at least a little bit consoled about that. I'll do better next time💕

More and more hugs and smooches for you

[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

YOI meta: How the beach scene solves the conflict in episode 12

Ever since I first watched Yuri!!! On Ice, its ending has been bugging me because the conflict between Yuuri and Viktor never felt truly resolved. It was during yet another rewatch when I finally discovered that Yuuri and Viktor indeed make up in a way that doesn’t require any further elaboration between the two of them. And it happens right before Yuuri's free skating.

But let's first make a short trip back to episode 4 when Viktor drags Yuuri to the beach after avoiding him. Their conversation reveals that Yuuri hates it when people pressure him and treat him as if he’s weak. Viktor then asks what kind of persona Yuuri wants him to take on, indicating that he's used to that kind of thing. Yuuri strongly rejects the idea of Viktor taking on any role for him at all because he wants Viktor to be himself.

“I want you to stay who you are, Viktor. I’ve always looked up to you. I ignored you because I didn’t want you to see my shortcomings. I’ll make it up to you with my skating!”

While Yuuri is unaware of his feelings for Viktor at this point in the story, these words are nothing but his love language. For half his life, he admired Viktor from afar and wanted to get to know the man behind the dazzling façade. There are recurrent hints throughout the series that Viktor was lonely and depressed before Yuuri and that Yuuri is the first person showing an interest in the human Viktor Nikiforov. Thus, Yuuri telling Viktor to be himself is big because he gives Viktor the space to be himself.

From the conversation on the beach, Viktor can infer two things that will become important later:

Yuuri deeply cares for Viktor's well-being.

Anxiety and self-esteem issues prompt Yuuri to act in ways that defy common sense and might result in Yuuri denying himself what he desires most (at least at first glance).

Viktor's insight boils down to the following line, which represents his love language:

“I won’t let you off easily, then. That’s my way of showing my love.”

The beach scene defines their relationship and their unique love language. Technically, it's the pivotal point of their love. The promise they give each other enables them to thrive as human beings: Viktor needs a space where he can be himself and Yuuri needs someone who stops him from denying himself his dreams, and both find this in one another.

Now fast-forward to episode 12!

In his misery, Viktor is blind to Yuuri’s true intentions (I explore certain aspects of Viktor’s reaction to Yuuri's declaration to retire in greater detail here). Whether he doesn’t want to return to competition because he found a new purpose in coaching or only wants to come back if Yuuri continues skating, or his reasons are a convoluted mess that includes these aspects is of little relevance in the face of the anguish Yuuri’s decisions unleash. Viktor is hurting because the idea of returning to a sport that caused burnout and depression while never seeing Yuuri skate / never coaching Yuuri again kills him from the inside.

However, Yuuri is gloriously unaware of Viktor’s struggles. In addition, his core issue “never being enough” caused by his short programme scores distorts the conclusions he draws from Viktor’s behaviour, which cements his decision to retire. He’s well aware he stole Viktor from the sport, as numerous people pointed it out to him throughout the series. He knows Viktor dodged all questions about comeback and retirement. He saw Viktor watching the other skaters with interest. He feels (or believes to feel) that a part of Viktor wants to return to the ice. And no matter how strongly his mental issues influence him, he isn’t entirely wrong.

“I don’t want to end it here, Viktor. I want to be in figure skating with you forever. But your staying on as my coach means slowly killing you as a competitive skater.”

Viktor once had a love for the ice, it only needs to be reignited. No one knows this better than Yuuri who months ago, was close to retiring himself - a sentiment that stuck with him for a long time because he thought he isn’t good enough for the sport. He only kept going because, through Viktor’s help, he started trusting in himself. Yuuri doesn’t want Viktor to neglect his own passion any longer because of him. Even though Viktor can’t see it right now, Yuuri’s decision to sacrifice his career for his love issues from his agape. However, by choosing retirement, Yuuri acts against his own desire.

Before his final skate, Yuuri reaches out to Viktor, resorting to their conversation on that day on the beach. (Note that in ep. 4 Viktor reached out when Yuuri was in distress—oh how I love the symmetry!) On a surface level, his words refer to Viktor’s pep talk, but like so often in Yuri!!!, there are layered meanings. As Yuuri reminds Viktor of the promise they gave each other that day on the beach, Viktor finally understands that Yuuri made his decision out of love.

However, eight months with his nervous katsudon have taught Viktor to recognise when Yuuri is self-sabotaging and he has gained a basic understanding of how Yuuri’s mental issues impact him. He knows Yuuri loves the ice and so he doesn’t let Yuuri take the easy way out.

This is an appeal to Yuuri's competitiveness and I will die on this hill. With that free skating Yuuri just delivered, he threw down the gauntlet and Viktor accepts the challenge, appealing to Yuuri's ambition and competitiveness as competing against Viktor has always been Yuuri's dream. Ingenious bastard!

Here, Viktor ignites the spark in Yuuri to stay in competition. I don't buy that he used Yurio for this. He's not manipulative. Yurio only infers from Viktor's distress that his greatest rival plans to retire and gets mad. Yurio beating Yuuri by a hair's breadth is the last straw to make Yuuri change his mind.

It's the promise from the beach scene that ends Yuuri and Viktor's conflict and elevates their relationship to an even higher level where Viktor can thrive as his true self as coach and competitor while Yuuri doesn't need to forgo his greatest dream of competing against Viktor. It's a perfect ending for each character arc as well as their arc as a couple and all it required was a reminder of the pivotal point of their love for each other.

Episode 12 portrays both the inner struggles of Yuuri and Viktor as well as their love with painful acuteness. Even though they know each other well, even though they share life and love, their situation at the end of episode 11 ignites a conflict that brings both their issues to the front. Given the circumstances, they handle the entire situation with amazing maturity whereas other adult couples would have split up. And they solve it beautifully by using their unique love language, thus giving each other what they need. "I want you to stay who you are" and "I won't let you off easily", indeed.

This discovery totally reshaped my conflicted feelings about the ending into a sense of satisfaction and closure, knowing that Yuuri and Viktor will continue growing and thriving together and that they have the means to solve every crisis that might occur. As a fan, I couldn't wish for a better ending and I have the greatest respect for the creators that they solved the conflict so swiftly given the limited time frame.

Every time I think it's impossible to love this show even more, I discover something that proves me wrong.

If you enjoy my meta posts, please consider giving my blog a follow or checking out my works on AO3(link in bio). You will find the results of my meta musings in there!

[system-to-the-madness]

Unexpected Confessions - Yuri Plisetsky x Reader

Pairing: Yuri Plisetsky x Reader (can be read with any pronouns) Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff Word Count: 1 480 Warnings: mentions of fighting, swearing Summary: After a fight, you finally decide to talk to Yuri Prompts: 8: "How much sleep did you get?" "What's sleep?" 11: "I can't fall asleep without imagining your arms around me." 15: "Keep looking at me like that and I will kiss you." A/N: First request of the 100-Follower Event! I’ve written it over a week ago, but editing is almost always harder for me than the writing itself, so I’m sorry for how long I take! I hope you enjoy reading it anyway!

The swearing that sounded through the rink was even louder than the music that was playing. It was late in the evening, the sun had set already, and outside grey, snow-heavy clouds covered the sky.

It had been almost a week since you had heard that voice that was now passionately swearing at whatever had gone wrong, according to his opinion. The last time you had seen Yuri… it had not been pleasant. You had fought with each other. Not just disagreed, not just one of his fits where he shouted at you, and you rolled your eyes. No, this time you had shouted back, anger, hot-white, boiling in your veins, unable to express the true nature of your concerns.

You were in love with him. A fact you had become aware of several months back. And how could you not? Yuri was amazing! Everyone always saw him as that talented figure skater, and only few people got to see beyond that. He had allowed you to see beyond that. How much he cared for his grandfather, how he encouraged his friends, and wanted them to succeed, how passionate he was about the people he cared for. He had a great taste in music, loved cats and all kinds of food, and behind that angry, Russian Punk-façade he was a sensible young man. Again, how could you not fall for him? Over the weeks and months you had trained at the same rink together, you had gotten close to him, often going out after training, for dinner, or a movie. And then things had changed about a month back. He had changed. On the one hand, he had drawn back from you, talking less during training, sometimes ignoring you altogether for the whole day. And then, in the evening, when it was just the two of you left in the changing rooms, he had been all smiles, had asked you to go out for dinner with him. He had gotten touchy, grabbing your sleeve to pull you into a direction, and one time, in the cinema, he had fallen asleep, his head resting on your shoulder.

The next day you had asked him why he behaved so weirdly. And things had escalated. You were still not certain what about your question had upset him so much that he had ended up shouting at you. And you had shouted back, insecure about whether maybe, just maybe he returned your own feelings.

After that you had changed your schedule, trained off ice when he trained on, and the other way around. You had avoided him; scared of his reactions, scared of the pain you would feel when you saw him again.

And you had been right. The moment you had approached the ice enough to see him, a searing pain shot through your heart.

Yuri seemed to have given up on skating to the music, because he was instead practising a step sequence repeatedly, still swearing when it would not quite work out.

For a while you watched him, enchanted. Even if you had not been in love with him… he looked like an angel.

“You can stop staring now,” he suddenly announced once the music was over, tearing you out of your amazement.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, averting your eyes.

The sound of skates on ice reflected through the hall, and you could tell he had skated to the speakers, turning off the music.

“What do you want,” Yuri asked, and all of a sudden a pair of arms landed on the railing, next to where your hands were tightly holding onto it. He propped his elbows up on it, and looked at you, no trace of discontentment in his seafoam green eyes, as he studied you.

You returned the look, taking in his features. Wearing his skates, he was taller than you right now. His eyes were sparkling, a thin coat of sweat on his brows, some of his hair sticking to his skin. But there were dark circles under his eyes. He was tired, no, worse, absolutely exhausted. Not from training, you knew the difference. He looked like he had barely slept in the past days.

"How much sleep did you get,” you asked, tempted to reach out, and brush a finger over the dark marks under his eyes.

"What's sleep,” he replied, trying to sound like he was joking, but he just sounded sad.

You stared at him, challengingly, until he averted his eyes from yours, taking sudden interest in his gloved hands.

“I’ve not been sleeping well recently,” he confessed quietly.

He looked vulnerable, all of a sudden, nothing like the talented figure skater, the confident Russian Punk. Right now, he looked several years younger than he really was, and in dire need of a hug. You did not move, just listened, as he continued.

“Ever since we fought, I- it feels like I can’t fall asleep. And when I do, I wake up in the middle of the night. And all I can think about is how you probably hate me now.”

“I don’t hate you.”

Yuri did not seem to have heard you.

"I can't fall asleep without imagining your arms around me."

Everything froze.

You just stared at Yuri, who was still fidgeting around with his fingers. Your heart was beating hard in your chest. Had you just heard him correctly? He liked imagining you holding him?

You were still staring at him when he looked back up at you, a smile playing around his lips, a soft blush on his cheeks. He reached up a hand and brushed a strand of hair out of your forehead.

“You look like an idiot,” he smiled, his eyes soft, his head tilted slightly to the side. Your skin prickled where his gloves had brushed against you.

"Keep looking at me like that and I will kiss you."

You had not meant to say it, not like this, not at all. But now it was too late. Yuri’s eyes widened slightly in surprise, making you fear that whatever truce you might have been about to reach had been completely destroyed. But instead he grinned suddenly.

“What makes you think that this isn’t exactly what I want?”

You blinked in surprise.

“I- I didn’t-”

Yuri’s face was flushed an adorable red as he reached out, and wrapped his gloved hands into the collar of your jacket, tucking you closer to him, so you were leaning over the railing, which was separating both of you.

“Kiss me already,” he demanded, his face right in front of yours.

Your eyes flickered to his lips momentarily, before you quickly closed them, and leant forward, clumsily pressing your mouth against his.

A shaky exhale left Yuri’s lips, as he pressed himself closer, his gloved hands moving from holding you by the collar to rest in your neck. His lips were soft and hot against yours, eager and hesitant at the same time. You allowed your own hands to come up to his face, gently holding him, feeling the heat of his body seeping through cool skin beneath your palms.

You wished the moment would never end, and yet it did, when Yuri suddenly pulled away, looking at you with impossibly wide eyes.

“I fucking love you, you know that,” he breathed, seeming almost surprised, as if the realisation had only hit him just now.

You were about to say something. Maybe that you loved him, too. Or that you wanted to get along with him again, after that fight last week. But he had already skated over the closest door, and stepped off the ice.

“I was trying to stay away from you, you know,” he continued while wiping off his blades, and putting on the blade guards. “I didn’t want anyone to find out that I like you, and I knew if I were around you, the others would notice eventually, so I drew back, while they were around. It must have been really confusing, I’m sorry.”

You nodded, thinking about all the instances, where he had behaved so weirdly. It made sense, you realised. Not that you liked the way he had dealt with it, but you understood.

“But no more of that. I promise. Let me make it up to you, let me take you out for dinner,” Yuri offered. He had taken off his gloves, and was holding out a hand to you. “As a date.”

You smiled at him, and grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

“It’s okay,” you shrugged. “Just don’t do that shit again.”

Feeling bold, you lifted your intertwined hands to your lips, and kissed the back of his hand, instantly making him blush again. Oh, how much you loved having such an effect on him!

“Won’t. I promise,” Yuri laughed flustered, and together you headed for the changing rooms, hand in hand.

[ohnominamino]

An Essay on Love in Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time

Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a movie about love in all its forms. From the love of family, friends, and neighbors, to the compassion we feel for people we have never met. The movie reminds us that love is something we continuously gain, lose, and choose, again and again. Which love is greatest? In my opinion, the answer to that question is left up to interpretation. In this essay, I will give my own personal interpretation on certain character interactions and what I believe we are meant to take away from their Rebuild portrayals. 

The character I will start with is one I’ve noticed the most outrage over from people who haven’t seen the movie and read out-of-context spoilers: Kaworu Nagisa. 

Kaworu is a beloved character among many Evangelion fans, especially those who are members of the LGBT+ community. He is a canonical love interest of Shinji Ikari and I want to reassure people that this final movie does not change that fact. However, it does not make the couple blatantly endgame either. This skirting around the couple might make some fans upset, and while their feelings are completely valid, I do not think they fully understand the difficulties faced by LGBT+ people in Japan, nor do they understand the way that romance is typically conveyed in Japanese storytelling. (I recommend watching “Is ‘Yuri On Ice’ Good Gay Representation?” by James Somerton for more about storytelling nuances.) 

What have we been shown about Shinji and Kaworu’s love? The good news is, anything you read into the original TV series and End of Evangelion is completely true for the Rebuilds— because Kaworu is the same Kaworu. This movie proves Evangelion is a single universe set on repeat, and that Kaworu and Shinji meet each other every loop, and in each, Kaworu is trying to make Shinji happy. Within the final movie, Shinji becomes aware of the loops and chooses to break the cycle and free Kaworu from his pain. 

What does the relationship between Shinji and Kaworu teach us? I believe the purpose of their love is to show the audience that first, in the words of Kaji, “love has no gender.” Second, I believe Kaworu’s love in particular is a warning about basing your own happiness solely upon another person. There are parallels drawn between Gendo/Yui and Kaworu/Shinji. Gendo could not exist without Yui, and so he was willing to destroy the world to be reunited with her. For Kaworu, it was not the destruction of humanity, but the destruction of himself that defined his tragedy. What’s important within the final movie, in my opinion, is that Shinji does not reject Kaworu’s love. With the insight he’s gained from remembering past loops, he sees Kaworu’s love and appreciates him, but he also sees his suffering and wants to ease it. He helps Kaworu into a new world where he can seek his own happiness and find balance in his life (something his father did not have). 

While Kaworu and Shinji are not seen as an explicit couple at the end of the movie, it’s significant to note that, when he sets Kaworu free, Shinji holds out his hand to Kaworu as a promise to stay together. Over the course of the movie, Shinji comes to accept his connection to others through accepting touch (in the form of hand holding and hugs from Rei, Misato, and Gendo); however, Kaworu is the only character in the movie who Shinji initiates physical contact with and that speaks to how much Kaworu means to him. This simple gesture, in my opinion, keeps the door open for Kaworu and Shinji to be a couple one day, after Kaworu has found more balance in his life. 

If I were to write an entire essay about Kaworu, it would be titled, “Out of the Coffin: How the Resurrection of Kaworu Nagisa Buries the Tragic Lovers Trope” because this movie truly does just that. 

Another potential love interest for Shinji for many years was Asuka; however, unlike with Kaworu, the nature of this relationship is not left up to interpretation by the end of the movie. Before her big final battle, Asuka tells Shinji, “I think I loved you back then” (regarding their time in middle school) and Shinji, during Instrumentality, tells Asuka, “Thank you for saying you loved me. I loved you too.” It is past tense. 

What does this relationship teach us? It’s a beautiful way of showing that we can love people, and grow and learn, and let go when we no longer fit each other. Letting go is an integral part of life. Whereas other Instrumentality scenes involve touch, Asuka’s, mirroring the ending of End of Evangelion, has a distinct lack of touch. Shinji sits with his arms around his knees and Asuka turns her body away from him. He gives her his thanks and he sends her off to find her peace. Asuka and Shinji teach us that it’s okay to grow out of relationships. You can appreciate what they were to you at the time they happened and move on. 

What about Rei? To be honest with you, this movie is less about Rei’s relationship with Shinji, and more about her relationship with the world. Rei teaches movie viewers about the simple pleasures of living. While Shinji is in mourning for the first quarter of the movie, Rei (as “Sokkuri”) is learning about crop growing and community, the wonder of babies and kittens, the joy of the bath after a long day of fruitful work, and the power of words and picture books. At the end of her life, she only regrets not having more time to spend with the people she loves. In Instrumentality, Shinji accepts her hand when it is offered to him, which I hope signifies he is ready to see life as she had come to during the final movie. 

Rei teaches us that we can love living and to not take our limited time for granted. 

Next, we move on to parent figures: Gendo and Misato. I think they both represent people ill suited to the role, who do the best they can despite it. Gendo, as mentioned for Kaworu above, is a warning about defining yourself by your relationship to another person (Ikari, afterall, is Yui’s name). He is also a lesson in how people mourn and how they can lash out. Misato, like Gendo, felt herself a poor parent, and while mourning the loss of Kaji, she gave up her child to be raised by other people, but, unlike Gendo, went forward to put all her energy into protecting humanity. Both of them reach out to hug Shinji within the movie and he accepts them where they are. 

While I wouldn’t say the movie shows that Shinji forgives Gendo, it does show his making an effort to understand and make peace with what others have done. For Misato, it is fair to say we can still hope for a better future, even when it feels like everything is crumbling around us. Her self-sacrificing love for her son and the whole of humanity is what enables Shinji to then save the people he loves (via the spear of Gaius). 

In the movie, we are also shown friendship. Touji, Hikari, and Kensuke are important members of their community who maintain open communication with those around them and respect others’ boundaries. They are patient and kind and represent the importance of being present. They teach us to meet people where they are and support them how we can, whether it’s giving them a warm meal or giving them space when they need it. 

There are many more characters that could be talked about, but today I am going to end on Mari. Mari’s love is physical. She enjoys being in people’s personal bubbles. She cuddles Asuka and helps trim her hair, she gets into Gendo’s space at college, and at the end of the movie, she reaches out her hand to Shinji to help him stand up from his seat. Upon first glance, some viewers might take Mari and Shinji’s final scene to be romantic, but the reality of it is this: We do not, and cannot, know what kind of love she is meant to represent in his life.

We do not know Mari’s relationship with Shinji because they hardly interact in the movie. She clearly cares about him, but in my opinion, it comes from a place of duty and compassion— Mari was friends with Gendo and Yui. She has been there since he was born. (If we take the manga to be canon, then Mari even had romantic feelings towards his mother. Her hairstyle and glasses are from Yui. At the end of the movie, Mari has changed her hairstyle, which to me implies she has moved on, and “getting” with Shinji would be a thematic break.)

Additionally, their conversation, while flirty, is very much one that implies they haven’t seen each other for a while. Mari is someone who is very physically affectionate. With everyone. If someone ignores that and focuses on the fact she gets into Shinji’s space and claims that’s romantic, they better acknowledge it’s possibly romantic with Asuka, who we see far more intimacy with. When Mari flirts, Shinji flirts back and her initial reaction is surprise, “Wow, you’ve learned to talk back!” Her purpose is clear. She is there to remove the DSS choker from his neck. 

Personally, I love that Mari is the one to close the movie, for the exact reason that we do not know her relationship with Shinji. For Mari to have an assigned role would be to say, “This kind of love is most important,” when the entire movie was spent showing us each love is of equal importance in the balance and building of our lives. (It’s wonderful to see those types of love embodied across the platform from Shinji at the end of the movie: Rei and Kaworu, who, just like in End of Evangelion, could signify the ability to connect with others and be loved.)

If you view Mari as a romantic love interest, then I think it speaks to the value that you as an individual give to romance rather than what the characters themselves are feeling. To me, Mari, the character who was created to “destroy Eva,” is a symbol of all love. When Shinji takes her offered hand and then pulls her to run into the new world, it’s a symbol of balance. The give and take of any kind of relationship. 

We are the product of every relationship we have ever had, from our parents to the people we once loved, from our friendships to any other person we want to stay connected to. Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a story about these relationships. It is a story about love. 

[mari-rosa-skiess]

omg i love your writing sm😳❤️ I JUST REALIZED THAT IM THE SAME AGE IF YURIO AGH ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE 15😩👌 also, may i request yurio who meets the reader in japan (like he met her maybe after viktor chooses his program) and she's a skateboarder so like she accidentally skates into him! i feel like it'd be really innteresting to see an ice skater and a skater together as a couple haha (bonus if she's won national skateboarding competitions😎) have a great day and remember to stay hydrated!❤️

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yes !!! i love this idea !! i went on a hiatus again, so sorry it’s VERY late, i hope it’s worth it though LOL

i’m personally not a skater, so i’m sorry if this isn’t accurate to how people skate :(

-mari<3

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Warnings: None I believe, just some swearing!

Pronouns: she/her

Words: 1.5k

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You always enjoyed skateboarding. It was your favorite activity since you’ve been younger. It was kind of the way you were able to let stress go and have fun, especially since you are in your mid-teens. Things get rough at age 15, but there’s always skating there to help you.

You were skating down the streets one day in Japan, your (h/c) hair was flowing in the strong breeze since it was a significantly colder day, it was winter after all. There was snow on the ground, but only on the side of the roads and sidewalks, but it was all pretty melted.

You closed your eyes for a second because it felt like the wind was making your eyes shrivel up, but a few seconds later, you fell to the ground with a small ‘hmph’ leaving your lips.

You opened your eyes to see a shortish boy standing up, he looked pissed to say the very least.

“WHY WEREN’T YOU WATCHING WHERE YOU WERE GOING?!” the blond feminine boy screamed.

You stood up and dusted off your clothes, for some small pebbles and dirt got on you when you fell.

“I could say that same about you,” you crossed your arms, raising an eyebrow.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN!? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO RAN STRAIGHT INTO ME!” He screamed, although it was kind of difficult to understand him because of his thick Russian accent, especially because he was screaming.

“Well, you could’ve simply stepped out of the way when you saw me skating towards you, you could’ve simply stepped aside when I was like four yards away,” You pointed out.

“It seems you also were not paying attention to your surroundings,” you spoke in a snarky tone, smirking.

He went to say something else to defend himself, but he was dumbfounded, not to mention exhausted from the strenuous training from figure skating.

“You’re lucky I’m not in the mood to argue today,” he sighed, picking up his bag he had dropped.

“Yeah, whatever you say,” you replied, dropping down your skateboard.

After you got a closer look at his face, you realized he seemed familiar. You’ve seen him somewhere, but you’re not sure where. Maybe in a store? No, that couldn’t be it.

“Where are you going?” you asked him, slowly skating by him while he walked.

“Figure skating practice, Viktor doesn’t like it when I’m late,” he softly said.

“What’s it to you?” he added, slightly raising his voice.

“I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere,” you stared at him blankly, but still paying enough attention to the control you have on your skateboard so you don’t lose balance and topple over.

“You’ve probably seen me on TV, I won Grand Prix gold,” he stated.

“Oh, Yuri Plisetsky, that’s where I’ve heard of you,”

Yuri blushed at how you said his name, it sounded so beautiful the way you said it, almost as beautiful as he found the rest of you. It didn’t take him long to notice your features after he cooled down from his baby tantrum.

He just looked away and went quiet, not saying anything else. After a few minutes, you guys arrived at the rink. Viktor was waiting by the door.

You picked up your skateboard and just held it since there was no reason for you to just stand by it.

“Yurio, you know how I feel about you being late,” the tall man with silver hair stated in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled under his breath.

Viktor’s eyes flickered to you and a grin appeared on his face.

“Oh, I see, you were out with your girlfriend! Why didn’t you tell me you have a girlfriend?” Viktor excitedly exclaimed.

Yuri’s face turned red, so did yours.

“No, we just met a few minutes ago,” you shook your head.

“Yeah, this bitch carelessly bumped into me and knocked me over,” Yuri crossed his arms.

“Bitch?!” you asked.

“Okay! I see I was wrong,” Viktor nervously chuckled.

“Why don’t you guys say bye to each other then you can meet me inside, Yurio?” Viktor suggested.

“Okay, fine,”

Viktor said goodbye to you before walking back in the rink, going to get his skates on before Yuri walked in.

“Well, hopefully we don’t cross paths again,” you said irritated, dropping your skateboard back down.

Yuri let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

Yuri was surprised by himself. He never apologizes for anything, it’s just part of his personality to be a dick, but here he is, apologizing!

“What was that?” you asked, turning your head.

“I’m sorry,” he spoke up.

“I didn’t mean it, I’m just a dickhead, you’re not a bitch,” Yuri looked down, blushing.

“Alright, I forgive you...I think,” you said, questioning your own words.

“I’ll see you around,” you spoke.

“Wait, what’s your name?” Yuri asked you.

“Oh, right, it’s (Y/N),” you smiled.

He was shocked that you even had a beautiful name.

“Okay, see you later,” he flashed a small smile before walking into the skating rink.

You skated off, actually feeling good about having a new friend. You did find him cute though, and you were sure he’s sweet when he’s not mad. You kind of mentally beat up yourself for not getting his number, but hopefully, there will be other opportunities.

---

It’s been a few days since you bumped into Yuri, and you still thought about him occasionally, as did he. You decided to skate by the rink to see if he was there. Since he couldn’t drive, there was no way to really know if he was there unless you looked in.

The place was rented out, so if it was closed, the doors would probably be locked.

You picked up your skateboard and walked over to the door and pulled on the handle. A small smile appeared on your face when it opened. You walked inside and heard music playing.

You didn’t want anyone to see you because you didn’t want anyone to think you were creepy, so you kneeled down by the part of the skating rink wall that didn’t have a window and watched through the window part.

Yuri was elegantly skating around the rink, his routine already seemed flawless - to you at least - you weren’t used to seeing many people figure skate. He actually didn’t look annoyed for once, but he did look sweaty.

Very sweaty.

You looked down and noticed your skateboard started rolling away from you. You silently cursed under your breath before trying to grab it without making any noise. You ended up grabbing it, but you accidentally launched it because you lost grip of it while you were trying to set it up against the wall.

It made a loud clattering noise before rolling and hitting the wall. Since the room was so big, it echoed and caused Yuri to mess up his routine.

Viktor facepalmed and turned off the music.

“It was great until that noise distracted you...what even was that?” Viktor asked, looking around.

Viktor and Yuri both skated over to the exit of the rink and stepped out, looking around the lobby. You were hoping they wouldn’t see you despite you being literally four feet away from them. 

Viktor saw you and you flashed a nervous smile before standing up.

“Yurio, you got a visitor,” Viktor spoke before walking back onto the rink.

Yuri looked over at you and he surprisingly wasn’t mad.

“Sorry for messing up your routine,” you apologized, looking really nervous.

“Oh... it’s just slightly annoying, I can always redo it,” he blushed.

“It was really good before I distracted you though,” you smiled.

“Oh, thanks,” his face reddened.

A few seconds of silence passed before Viktor walked back off the rink.

“Yurio, take a short break,” he said.

Yuri nodded before taking off his skates while still standing.

“Do you know where your board went?” he asked.

You looked around on the floor before spotting it, you walked over and picked it up.

“Why do you skate so much?” Yuri asked.

“I- Uh- It’s a hobby, and I’m also a competitive skater...with skateboarding, obviously,” you nervously said.

“That actually sounds interesting,” Yuri spoke.

“That’s surprising coming from you,” you smiled.

“What do you mean?” he asked confused.

“I mean, you are a dick,” you smirked and crossed your arms.

He rolled his eyes with a small frown.

“Joking!” you exclaimed, giggling.

“Anyway, we should hang out sometime if you’re up to you,” you smiled at the blond.

His face went back to the red shade it was previously at.

“A-Alright,” he stammered.

You pulled a small slip of paper out of your pocket that you wrote your number down on pre-hand in case you ran into him.

“Here’s my number, I’m free most of the time, just text me,” you smiled at him.

He took the slip of paper from your hand and put it into his pocket.

“Alright,” he smiled.

“I’ll let you get back to what you were doing, see you around!” you exclaimed with a smile while waving as you walked out.

“Bye!” he shouted.

Let’s just say, he did text you a lot when he got home.

[afrival]

Ranking and Rating All the Animes I’ve Watched (Which ain’t a lot)

Some of these might get me killed lmao but whatever. Feel free to judge me for my top fives

in order from least favorite to favorite

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15: Angel Beats: 2/10 for cool concept

- This is the only anime on here that I hate 💀 Idk why, there was just something about it. I’m not a big fan of romance so the ending was...eh. The concept is interesting as hell tho honestly

14: Banana Fish: 6/10 for Ash breaking my heart

- I know this is such a beloved show, but I just. Cant. Like it’s good, I like it, I’m just not a big fan of— idk how to explain it. Street fighting style anime? I like superpowers basically LMAO

13: Dorohedoro: 4/10 for Lizard bitch

- This is just Banana Fish on drugs and paranormal also as far as I can tell nobody falls in love here. I’m still watching and I’m struggling to get really into it, but I’m giving it a chance. The intro is one of the best ones on this list tho

12: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: 6/10 for intros

- I made it halfway through Part 2 then I gave up because it’s so batshit, but that’s kinda why I love it even though it’s so low on here. It wins #1 for THE BEST opening songs and intros

11: Hunter x Hunter: 7/10 for having one of the best villains

- I watched this entire goddamn anime and it just did not stick with me. I skipped a lot of episodes in the Chimera Ant arc because it would be one fight dragged on for three eps, however I will say I absolutely bawled at the end of it.

10: Yuri On Ice: 6/10 for Jerry Jewell the Russian King of Funimation

- Good comfort anime I binge watch every few months, my main beef with it is how repetitive it is. There doesn’t seem to be a lot at stake besides their careers and obviously the romance. Maybe it’s just because I’ve seen it so many times that I’ve become numb to it

9: Devilman Crybaby: 7/10 for WHAT THE FUCKFJJG

- I watched this mf in one night and I have not been the same since. The ending is fucking insane and I adore it, but everything else leading up to that is kinda lame. The animation is kinda ugly too lol

8: Beastars: 8/10 for sexy deer

- Can’t believe I made fun of this furry anime only for it to be one of the best things I’ve ever seen. Amazing plot, I genuinely can’t wait for more seasons especially since the manga gets insane. Also— that INTRO IS AMAZING

7: Soul Eater: 5/10 because Kid is in it

- My first anime besides SAO 🙌 Very unique art style I love it, also lovable characters. My main thing with it is that honestly the stakes seem a little too much for a group of fucking 15 year olds to handle but whatever, that’s most shounen anime in general

6: Demon Slayer: 6/10 for Nezuko and the orange mf I know will be my favorite

- I’m still watching this and so far I really like it, it’s just slow as hell. I’m not entirely sure what the main goal is, but I’ve heard it gets really good. Looking forward to another season if we get it

5: Fairy Tail: 7/10 for power of friendship

- I’ve loved this anime since I was like 10 bruh. I know it’s repetitive with “the power of friendship” but that’s what I like about it— nothing beats good character dynamics. Also wins the award for Best Hetero Ships in existence

4: My Hero Academia: 9/10 for the characters being AAA

- Hands down one of the best cast of characters, there’s not a single one I hate (besides Mineta but that’s the point of his character). The main issue I have with it is right now in the anime it’s still a little...kiddy? Like there was a festival arc after a very emotionally intense arc LMAO. Anyways, I’m excited for it to get more gritty

3: The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: 10/10 for amazing characters and comedy

- I just like dumbass fucking satirical comedy, as you can probably tell. This show made me laugh out loud so many times. If I had to choose anything to like not like about it it would be the fact that near the end of s2 it got kinda 😳😰 out of NOWHERE

2: Hetalia: 0/10 I fucking hate this dumb country anime

- I don’t even wanna talk about it. Just repeat what I said about dumbass satirical comedy and add my love for history and you get the mold that’s been growing in my head for over a year

1: Attack On Titan: unable to be rated bc it’s so good

- Honestly this just speaks for itself. Never have I absolutely loved a story and it’s characters this much, and it’s so well written I don’t know how Isayama came up with it. The ending was genuinely amazing. I’ll be thinking about this dumbass thing for a while . Also: amazing intros

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I have a long ass list I still need to watch tho this list will be updated in the future

Edit: lmao maybe I should say that this isn’t a list on which anime is good and which is bad, it’s just a favorites list. some of the ones I dislike are really good, they just didn’t stick with me 🤷