#I’ve been thinking about these two options and I’m just
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
fluentmoviequoter · 3 days ago
Text
Stood Too Close to a Devil
Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!UC!reader
Summary: While investigating a human trafficking ring, you get in too deep. You're abducted and meet a group of women you can't leave behind. After months of fighting, you find your way home to the one safety they couldn't take from you.
Warnings: recommended 16+, human trafficking, child abduction and trafficking, allusions to SA, physical/emotional abuse, imprisonment, r is harmed numerous times, drugging, discussion of scars, depiction of corrupt politicians, comfort and early healing at the end
Word Count: 7.3k+ words
A/N: I used one of @nevereclipse 's fantastic ideas for this! The length clearly got away from me, but I love the idea of Tim being home and providing safety for someone that really needs it. Hopefully this is along of the lines of the original post and please feel free to let me know what you think!🫶🏼
Tumblr media
You walk up the metal stairs of the cheap motel, feeling your shirt rise up on your waist with each step. The bag in your hands prevents you from pulling the worn fabric down, but it’s okay. Anything that draws attention is appreciated right now. You knock on the door with one hip pushed out to hold the bag.
“Hey, handsome,” you greet when the door opens. “I got everything you asked for.”
Stepping into the room, you set the overfilled bag on the bed and wait for the door to close. Your shoulders droop as you exhale heavily and pull your shirt down to your hips. “Twenty.”
Nyla’s eyes widen as she repeats, “Twenty? Two-zero?”
Nodding, you push your forefinger and your thumb against your eyebrows. “I know. This is way bigger than I thought.”
“It’s bigger than any of us thought,” the chief of Major Crimes agrees. “How’s your cover?”
Tim interrupts your answer and asks, “How are you?”
Licking your lips, you consider lying. “It’s rough,” you admit. “But I can do it. My cover is intact, no one suspects anything, and I’ve gotten more attention the last three nights.”
“What kind of attention?” Nyla inquires.
“Rich has been watching me while I’m working, and the guy at the front desk of the motel asks me about work every day.”
“They’re prying,” Major Crimes Chief Rodriguez says. “Trying to decide if you’re in a position to be asked.”
“Am I?”
“Not yet,” Nyla answers. “People with steady jobs and the income to stay in a long-term motel aren’t usually desperate enough to traffic.”
“Which we aren’t doing,” Tim reminds you. “We need proof, not for you to get sucked in.”
You nod, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Doesn’t make it easier to watch the twenty women they do choose get trafficked.”
“We’re doing everything we can to recover them,” Rodriguez promises. “Keep your eyes open, head down, get information, and we’ll go from there.”
“Rich got violent last night,” you tell them. “I didn’t see the knife but I heard he had one. Got up in a girl’s face because she asked if he was paying.”
“For?” Nyla asks.
“A dance.”
Tim crosses his arms tightly against his chest. He’d been against the idea of your cover job being in a sleazy bar, but there was no better option. You’re close enough to see what you need to see, yet separated just enough to not be easily pulled into it.
“Any idea when they’re planning to act next?” Rodriguez asks as he jots notes on a small black pad.
“I heard someone say something about ‘payday Friday,’ but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re pulling someone new in,” you reply.
“And it’s still too early for a hotel sting,” Tim complains.
“I’ll ask around with some of the girls, see what I can find out,” you offer. “Anything else?”
“Do you think you could get someone to take you to ‘payday Friday’?” Nyla asks. “I know it’s dangerous, but it they trust you enough, it could help.”
You nod and agree to try, though you know Tim is concerned about it. Tim wraps his hand around your arm as you pick up the emptied bag and prepare to leave. His touch is gentle and warm, and you wish you could melt into it and leave this undercover operation in the past. But you need to infiltrate this organization before they traffic even more innocent women.
“Be careful,” Tim urges you quietly. “This is way bigger than anyone knew, so if you need to get out, pull the ripcord.”
“I will,” you assure. “Thank you. You’ll be close?”
“Always.”
You leave the motel room with the promise that Tim is with you, and though it doesn’t make what you’re about to see any better, it makes your practiced confidence come a bit easier.
Tumblr media
The black SUV waiting one block away is probably your backup. Tim’s metro team can’t be far, but as you walk deeper into an alley, following three armed men and their dates, your chest tightens. One of these women may be the target, or they could be compliant witnesses to the cruelty these men get pleasure and monetary gain from daily.
“You’ve met, right?” Rich, a regular at your cover job, asks as he gestures between you and his date.
“I don’t think so,” you answer with a smile. “I’m Jewel.”
“Do you speak Spanish, Jewel?” Rich inquires.
“A little bit.”
“Renata here doesn’t speak any English, but she’s very nice.”
You smile and introduce yourself in Spanish.
“No conozco a estos hombres,” Renata says. Her voice is strained, but her smile remains as she confides in you that she doesn’t know these men.
“What’d she say?” Rich's best friend Kol demands.
With an airy laugh, you answer, “She said she doesn’t know where to meet friends here.” Turning to her, you promise, “Te ayudaré. I told her I’d help her.”
Rich and Kol look at one another, then smile.
“I’m sure she’ll really appreciate your help,” Kol says.
His date snickers as she takes the other woman’s hand. So, they do know, you realize. And I just promised to help a woman who’s probably going to be trafficked while I stand here and watch.
“Hey, is Jewel your real name or just, you know, something you go by?” Rich wonders.
“It’s my real name,” you say, staying close to Renata.
“Sounds like a stripper,” one of the women whispers.
“Do you mind if I ask Renata for her phone number? I’d like to introduce her to some of my friends if she’s free sometime.”
Rich nods before he turns to converse privately with Kol and their dates. You raise your phone and text ‘Landlord,’ who is Tim, that something is about to go down and a woman is in immediate danger. You delete the text from your phone after it says it was delivered.
“¿Tienes un número de teléfono?” you ask Renata.
“Me dijo que la diera a la gente siete números. Me dará un teléfono antes de ayudarme a contactar a mi familia en Venezuela,” she answers quickly.
That’s not good. Rich told her to give seven random numbers and promised to get her a phone after she starts working for him to support her family in Venezuela. You know, like most cops, that if a trafficker thinks someone is willing to work to help their family in another country, they are prime targets.
Given that Rich and Kol are proven traffickers – in addition to committing other crimes – you know that you have to get Renata out of here before it is too late. She’s clearly scared, and if they catch onto her fear or realize that you’re not talking to her about meeting friends, this will go bad quickly. Tim hasn’t answered, and no police have descended on the alley, so you have to think fast. A truck approaches from the southern end of the alley, less than a quarter mile from the freeway. The men are still talking, and you take a deep breath.
“Huir,” you demand under your breath. Run away.
Renata looks at you, then takes off. Kol moves to chase her, but you step out to block his path. You’re too deep, and it will be too late to get out if Tim doesn’t bring Metro in now. But you had to help Renata. Her blood would have been on your hands if you hadn’t. Now, you’re risking your life to let her run to safety.
Rich steps forward and smiles as Kol asks what to do.
“Way I see it?” Rich answers. “We came down here to get another girl. I’m looking at one.”
“I’m not going with you,” you say, stepping back.
Kol pulls a gun from his waistband and replies, “Yeah, you are.”
You prepare to run, hoping that Tim will come around the corner. You’re still undercover, you remind yourself, and whatever happens now could save another life. Your arms are pulled tightly behind you, and you’re pushed into the back of a large white truck.
After the door closes and the truck lurches into motion, someone lights a match, and you see three women huddled in the corner, shaking and scared.
“¿Hablas ingles?” you ask.
“Yes,” one of them answers.
“I’m a police officer, okay? I’m going to do everything I can to help you and get you out of here. Are you hurt?”
“Ilsa is,” the woman with the match says. “They hit her with a metal belt.”
You move deeper into the truck and introduce yourself.
“I’m Maria, and this is my cousin Becca.”
You glance at Becca as you lift the back of Ilsa’s shirt. “How old is Becca?” you whisper.
“Fifteen, she just had her quinceañera," Maria answers.
Exhaling sharply, you examine the swollen red strip spanning Ilsa’s back. As you pull a miniature first aid kit from inside your boot, you say, “We’re going to have to work together, especially to keep Becca safe.”
“Of course,” Maria answers.
“They’re monsters,” Ilsa says. You notice immediately that her accent sounds Russian. “I’ll do anything I can to protect her. She’s only a child.”
“You’ve done more than enough.”
Looking away from Ilsa’s back, you face Maria, who says, “The man with the belt was trying to keep Becca from crying.”
“Least I could do,” Ilsa murmurs before hissing in pain when you swipe an antibiotic wipe across her wound.
“It’s more than that,” you say. “I won’t lie, I’m not supposed to be here, so this is going to get worse before it gets better. Do either of you have any idea where we’re going?”
“Tijuana,” they answer together.
Your eyes widen at the information that they’re moving you across state lines, country borders, and right out of your jurisdiction. The tracker sewn into the seam of your underwear only works for a few miles, so you’re completely disconnected from your station and the people who could help. Worse, you realize as you fall back, is that you have been trafficked. You’re no longer an investigator. You’re a victim.
Tumblr media
As the truck shakes while you head south, you remove the jacket tied around your waist and hold it to your chest as you think. It still smells like Tim’s cologne, and you breathe it in as if it will disappear at any moment. Racking your brain for an idea of what to do, you try to think like Tim and Nyla. Every thought you have of trying to stop these men ends with you dead and the women beside you living in fear in a place where they’ll likely never be found.
“Do you need anything?” you ask them.
They shake their heads, and Ilsa’s chin drops as if she’s asleep.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Maria whispers. “You’re the angel we prayed for.”
She closes her eyes as the match burns out, and you tip your head back to look at the dark ceiling above you. I’m not an angel. I just stood too close to the devil.
Tumblr media
The truck door rolls open loudly before a blindingly bright light greets you.
“Bienvenidos a Mexico,” Rich greets. “Send the little one, we’ve got someone here who wants to meet our newest helper.”
“Take me instead,” you reply, moving toward your abductors. “I’m new, too.”
“Not exactly what I meant.”
You jump from the truck and move to stand mere inches from Rich. “You just shoved that girl in the back of a truck and drove her to another country, you’re going to have to take it easier with her. She doesn’t know what you’ve done yet.”
“She’ll have to learn,” he seethes. “And we don’t have much time for teaching.”
Leveling your gaze on his, you wait for him to give. Kol mumbles something behind him, and Rich says, “Okay. Let’s go.”
Tumblr media
Hours later, your face feels tight from all the dried tears on it when you are shoved into a damp room lined with cots. Ilsa recites a story to Becca while Maria braids her hair, but they look up at you when the door slams and locks.
“Have you seen any other women?” you ask.
“Two more. They came in for a few minutes, then the ugly man came and took them back out,” Ilsa answers.
“They didn’t speak,” Maria adds quietly. “Do you think their spirits are gone?”
You tug the roots of your hair and answer, “For their sakes, I’m beginning to hope so.”
“Are you okay?” Becca whispers.
It’s the first time she’s spoken to you, the first you’ve heard of her voice, and you smile at her. “I’m okay, and you’re going to be okay, too.”
“What is this place?”
“It’s a bad place, and they’re going to try to let bad people do bad things to us, but I’m not going to let them,” you promise.
“You can’t,” Ilsa argues.
“I took an oath to serve and protect, and that didn’t end at the border. They’re not going to do anything to you as long as I can help it.”
“Did…” Maria begins.
“No,” you answer. “He.. No, I’m okay.”
“Knock, knock,” Kol calls obnoxiously. He sets food on the nearest cot and asks, “How’s the little princess?”
Ilsa says something in Russian as Maria moves to sit in front of Becca.
“What do you want, Kol?” you demand.
“It’s a question,” he snaps. “I want an answer.”
“You want to know how she is? She’d be better if you weren’t around.”
Kol looks over his shoulder, then demands, “Come with me.”
“No.”
“Come. With. Me. Or I’ll come in there and get you.”
You clench your jaw as you stand and follow him. The moment the soundproof door is closed, he shoves you against the concrete wall and presses his weight against your back.
“I don’t like people that talk back to me,” he seethes in your ear.
“And I don’t like people who traffic humans,” you argue, pushing back against him.
Kol raises one hand to your head, pulling it back enough to slam your nose into the wall. You can feel it break, but you’re out of tears, and he doesn’t deserve them anyway.
“Beat me, sell me all day everyday, do whatever you want, but I’m not letting you put one more finger on that little girl,” you say though the blood running over your lips.
“Sounds like a challenge!” Rich exclaims. He comes to your side and adds, “I love challenges.”
“Who are you working for?” you ask. “You two morons are barely smart enough to drive, so there’s no way you’re the masterminds.”
“What does it matter to you?”
“When someone smarter than you comes along and gets free, I want to make sure she knows who the police should be looking for.”
“They’ll never find the Vaquero.”
“Doubtful you could find him either,” you reply, attempting to kick free of Kol.
He slams his foot against the back of your ankle, and you buckle forward at the pain.
“You want to work more? I’ll get right on it,” he says before pushing you back into your prison.
In a heap on the floor, you barely manage to tell Maria to back away from you before you puke. Sitting up, you see that Becca is asleep. Ilsa watches you lean against the concrete wall, and you point to the bucket of clothes beside her. There isn’t much in it, but a bra at the bottom catches your attention. It’s wireless, of course, because these people are smart enough to avoid giving scared women anything that could be used as a weapon. You fold it so the cups are together, making it thicker, then place it between your teeth. It holds your tongue down and catches your scream as you use the sides of your palms to straighten your broken nose.
“You’re going to get yourself killed,” Maria chides as she looks for something to stop your bleeding.
“Hand me the jacket?” you ask.
She passes you Tim’s jacket, and you watch a tear fall onto it before you hold it against your face. “I’m sorry,” you whisper into it.
“Will he come for you?” Ilsa inquires, walking toward you.
“I don’t think I left him enough clues,” you admit, though it’s muffled.
“You’re smart, I’m sure you did.”
Looking at Maria, you say, “If I get killed, don’t let it be for nothing.”
“We’ll protect each other,” she counters.
“No matter what,” Ilsa adds.
Tumblr media
The following day, no one enters the room. There’s water in the corner and Becca snacks on the food from the night before, but nothing changes. Tim’s jacket still holds the scent of his cologne on the end of the sleeves, and you keep it beside you as you attempt to rest. It dries your tears and holds your blood, but it’s nothing like being near Tim. It’s a reminder that you can get home, and that’s all you need it to be.
“There’s a first aid kit,” Becca says, standing from the corner. “It looks new.”
You extend your hands, and she places the metal box in your hold. Opening it, you sigh at the sight.
“It is new,” you announce. “Ilsa, let me see your back again?”
She lifts her shirt, and you begin treating the stripe. “It looks better. Hopefully this will help more.”
“I can’t feel it,” she says.
“That’s not good,” you reply immediately.
“I should say, I choose not to. We have more important things.”
“Your health is important.”
“And yours isn’t?”
Tumblr media
After a month of preventing Ilsa, Maria, and Becca from being removed from the room, you are exhausted. Rich has taken pleasure in coming to retrieve you every time, and when he opens the door for the eighth time in five days, you stumble as you stand.
“If you’re too tired,” he taunts.
“I’m fine,” you answer. “Get out.”
“We have guests coming tomorrow,” he says with a smile. “You’re going to have to get along with me, or they’ll show you a different kind of punishment.”
“It can’t get much worse.”
Rich walks toward you, and you notice a rope in his hand. “Trust me, it can. Now, let’s go.”
“What are you doing?” Ilsa demands.
“Leashing the dog,” he answers darkly. He steps behind you, his breath warm and too close to your skin. “Walk.”
You exit the room and decide not to fight back as he secures your wrists and up to your elbows with the rope. It’s uncomfortable and pulls your shoulders into a dangerous position, but talking too much will only feed his ego and endanger every woman in this bunker.
“Open your mouth,” he says as he walks before you. “Now.”
After you lick your lips, he pries your mouth open and pours something inside. He taps your neck, forcing you to swallow, and you feel your muscles weaken as he leads you toward the exit. You urge yourself to remember the route to reach the door where the sunlight shines beneath it, but each step is heavier than the last and requires concentration.
Rich uses your restraints to pull you to a stop. You tip back and can’t catch yourself with your hands, so you fall to your butt and groan. To stay upright, you cross your legs and wait.
“I said I wanted someone who could look the part of a cop,” someone with a familiar voice complains. “She can barely stand.”
“When the drug wears off, she’ll be fine,” Rich explains. “Did you bring it?”
“You induced myopathy to walk her to the door? What is she, a fighter?”
“She’s an annoyance. Remind her that we’re here alone with her friends. She’ll do whatever you want.”
You can hear the man's smile as he repeats, “Whatever I want.”
However, he doesn’t have to remind you of anything because you do what he asks. There’s a feeling in the air like something big is happening, and you want to be out of your cell for it. You can only hope that Ilsa, Becca, and Maria are safe while you’re gone, but believing they are makes it even more important to obey and keep them safe.
“Put this on,” the man – tall, older, and clearly not Mexican – demands as he tosses a small costume package to you.
You catch it, fully recovered from the drug’s effects, and look at the skimpy black fabric within. As you remove it from the package, you realize who the man is and why he sounded familiar in the bunker. Councilman Brek has been demanding in every interview he’s done, and it’s been rumored he has the city and government employees in Los Angeles in his wallet to stay in office so long.
“You’re Vaquero?” you guess.
“Maybe I am, which means you do precisely what I say. I don’t trust you, so you’re going to have to change here and now,” he instructs slowly.
Nodding, you begin to change as quickly as possible. The so-called police uniform is little more than a too-small vest and a tube-style skirt with a light badge hanging from it.
“Perfect,” the man applauds, blatantly looking at your body rather than your face. “Let me introduce you to the girls. Ladies!”
You follow him into another room where seven women are dressed in similar outfits, in different colors, and bearing agency badges.
“Tonight, you will be known as your badges. So, we’ve got DEA, NSA, CIA, FBI, LAPD, NYPD, ICE, and CSI, how needs some glasses.”
You look at each woman as he speaks and wonder where they’re from. You can't guess if they’re working for him legitimately or if they’re all like you. For all anyone knows, they could be undercover, too, though the pleased smile on CSI’s face after she receives glasses makes you think otherwise.
“Finish your shift without incident and we’ll talk. Anything happens, tell my assistant Mark and he’ll handle it. The rules are simple: You work, they pay. If someone tries to do anything without paying, Mark is your first contact. Understood?”
“Yes, sir,” you reply with the other women.
Tumblr media
The clock on the wall says four a.m. when you consider calling for Brek's assistant Mark, but remember Rodriguez’s advice: keep your head down. If you can get through tonight without causing any problems, maybe Rich and Kol will trust you enough to give you more freedom. It’s unlikely, but lives are at stake, including your own.
“Come to papa, LAPD!”
You turn and smile at the short Latino man beckoning you closer. Extending your hand, you wait for him to pay you with one hand on your hip.
“I said come here,” he repeats.
Rubbing your fingers together, you remind him, “I’m supposed to receive payment first.”
He twists his head to crack his neck and then extends his arms. His hands grip your barely covered hips before he pulls you into his lap.
“Let go,” you demand under your breath, looking around for Mark and wishing it was Tim coming to help you.
If you were undercover in LA, Tim would have already had this guy off of you, and tears prick your eyes when you remember how long it has been since you saw him and worked with him.
“Stop fighting,” the man says.
His demand is punctuated by the telltale sound of a switchblade. NYPD slows as she walks behind you, and when the man shifts his hand to squeeze your thigh instead, she screams Mark’s name.
Before he reaches you, you press your hands against the man’s shoulders and shove yourself away from him. You realize then that the knife was closer than you thought. Mark hauls the man out of his chair and disappears. NYPD and DEA escort you back to the room where you got dressed and encourage you to sit.
“Is this yours?” DEA asks, raising Tim’s jacket.
“Yeah,” you answer.
She presses it against your bleeding inner thigh, and you dig your fingers into the chair beneath you.
“This needs stitches,” NYPD says. She looks around before whispering, “Are you working here?”
You shake your head in a small motion, and she chews her bottom lip.
“We have a sewing kit,” DEA whispers. “But I don’t know if that would work.”
“I do,” you interject. “Bring it to me?”
She hesitates but does as you ask. NYPD threads the needle after DEA sterilizes it over a nearby burning candle. You remove Tim’s jacket and put the end of the sleeve in your mouth to bite down on. Each stitch burns worse than the last, and your fight to stay conscious makes your hands shake.
NYPD takes the needle, tugs the jacket sleeve free, and says, “Breathe, LAPD.”
You mumble your name, and she smiles as she says, “I’m Jessica. I’ve been watching, so I can try to finish them if you want.”
“Please.”
“You’ll scar her!” DEA argues.
“It’s going to scar no matter what,” you say. “I’m not that good. Please just help me.”
NYPD nods as you let your eyes close momentarily.
Tim could have kept it from scarring you think just before Mark enters the room to escort you back to work.
Tumblr media
Kol doesn’t see the wound when he arrives to take you back to the bunker. Not that you think he’d care, but you covered it just in case he’d make you stop taking the “jobs” intended for Becca, Maria, and Ilsa.
Lowering carefully onto your cot, you let the pain in again and acknowledge it with a groan.
“What happened?” Ilsa asks, rushing to your side.
“I need the first aid kit, please.”
Maria turns away to distract Becca when she sees your patched-together stitches, but Ilsa kneels beside you to help.
“It’s gonna be a long night,” she murmurs.
“It’s been a long month,” you correct her.
She chuckles wetly, and you smile as she wraps bandages around your thigh. The bloody jacket is clutched to your chest, and you once again wish that it was Tim holding you, and not you desperately gripping the idea of him.
Tumblr media
“It’s been months without a word, Tim,” Nyla says. “Rodriguez has other cases, but that doesn’t mean he’s giving up on her.”
“He closed the case!” Tim yells. “It has been weeks since he looked at anything related to the traffickers, and suddenly it’s time? She’s still out there, Nyla!”
“I understand, Bradford, I do, but until we can pick up their trail again, there is nothing we can do.”
“So, you expect me to just go back to work while one of our own is being trafficked?”
“I expect you to do what you need to do to make Rodriguez think you’re not undermining him,” Nyla says quietly. “I’ve been looking too. We’re not going to let her disappear.”
“And if she’s already gone?”
“We find the people who took her and make them pay with everything they have left.”
Tumblr media
“Everybody pack up and drink up,” Rich demands as he kicks the door open.
“Drink what?” Maria asks, leaning up to look at the clear glasses on his tray.
“You’re going home.”
“What?” you, Ilsa, and Maria exclaim together.
“The Vaquero bailed you out. The drink is a celebration.”
“We’re going home?” Becca asks Maria, gripping her hand tightly.
“Three of you.” Rich looks at you, and you nod. They're freedom is your hush money, and it will work... for now. You'll stay quiet about Councilman Brek being Vaquero if it gets these women home.
“No,” Ilsa says. “I’m not drinking that if she’s not going with us.”
“Yes, you are,” you tell her. “You’re going home because that was always the goal.”
“What about the other women?!” she exclaims.
“I’ll work to free them next.”
“You’d die before you did that,” Rich says. “It took you over five months to free these three. You think we don’t have replacements for them already on the way?”
“You got what you wanted, Rich,” you say. “Ladies, pack and drink. I’ll cheers with you.”
You wrap Tim’s jacket around your waist, tap your glass against theirs, drink, set the glass down, and fall into darkness.
Tumblr media
“Where are the tracking records?” Angela asks.
“From the underwear tracker?” Nyla clarifies as she leans over Tim’s table.
“That’s where her tracker was?” Tim asks, furrowing his brows.
“I guess Rodriguez didn’t put them in the file,” Nyla says, frowning. “Or they’re digital and he couldn’t figure out control-P. Let me check.”
Tim looks at surveillance pictures of you as Nyla clicks through the laptop before her.
“Printer is full if you need to use it,” he murmurs.
“Thanks.”
Angela stands to retrieve the papers as Nyla lifts your undercover phone from the charger.
“Tim,” Angela calls, looking at the top page. “Did you get a text from her the day she was abducted?”
“No,” he answers, raising his head.
“She deleted it, but the metadata is still there.”
Nyla extends her hand and reads the information on the page before looking up at Tim. “It says it delivered.”
Tim takes his phone from his pocket and checks, but there are no messages from you. Angela checks the other undercover phone, but there are no messages there either.
“Where did it deliver, then?” Nyla wonders. “It says she sent it to ‘Landlord.’”
“Landlord?” Tim asks. “On the last day she was here?”
“Right.”
“Rodriguez changed our covers the morning before. He told me he let her know. Landlord texts went to Rodriguez.”
Nyla purses her lips before she asks, “Which city council member endorsed Rodriguez for chief?”
“Brek,” Angela answers. “It fueled the pay-off rumors.”
“There’s something else going on here,” Nyla says. “And Rodriguez knows about it.”
“I’ll call-“ Tim begins.
“We don’t know who we can trust,” Angela interrupts.
“Wade,” he finishes. He pauses and looks up rather than making the call.
“Call him,” Angela and Nyla say together.
Tumblr media
You blink your eyes open, realize you don't recognize the room around you, and sit up quickly.
“I gave you a very thorough description,” Councilman Brek complains. “She looks nothing like what I asked for. If I’m paying for you to bring them up to LA, I expect to get what I pay for.”
“Sir, we don’t have anyone fitting that description,” Rich explains. “And you liked her before.”
“But this isn’t before, is it? She's cost me enough money without this screw up.”
“Excuse me?” you interrupt. “I- I’m from LA, and I know a lot of women willing to do anything for money. Maybe I can help you get what you want.”
You bite your tongue after you speak to keep your stomach from flipping. You’re offering to traffic someone else, and even though it’s a cover to get these men in custody, it still feels wrong.
“I’m not sure I feel comfortable divulging that information to you,” Councilman Brek replies.
“Who is she gonna tell?” Kol points out. "She's been quiet about everything else."
Brek sighs, then says, “I want a dark woman with natural hair, shorter than me, relatively small, and mouthy.”
You manage to keep your eyes from widening at his precise desire and somewhat racist description. “Yeah, I know someone like that.”
“You do?” Brek and Kol ask together.
“I only know her first name,” you reply. “It’s Crystal. I know where she lives, like geographically, not the address.”
“I want Crystal,” Brek decides, turning toward Rich. “Take LAPD here to fetch Crystal and bring them both back.”
“Yes, sir,” Rich and Kol answer together.
You walk out to the car with them and slide into the passenger seat. They brought your clothes with you during the overnight transport back to LA. Now, Tim’s jacket hangs off one shoulder as you give Rich directions to an undercover residence. He parks, and you’re surprised when he and Kol unbuckle their seatbelts. Your hand moves to release yours, and Rich backhands you. His ring draws blood on your cheek.
“You didn’t really think I’d let you waltz up there, did you?” Rich asks.
“Just surprised you wear seatbelts,” you answer meekly.
He locks the doors behind him, trapping you in the car, and you watch as they walk to the door you pointed out and ask for Crystal. A nearby Metro team that was likely on standby ambushes them nearly immediately after hearing Detective Harper's previous undercover name. Without time to react, they’re cuffed and placed in patrol cars before they even realize what’s happening.
When more officers arrive to keep up appearances, you know you must get out of here. With Tim’s jacket protecting your skin, you break the passenger side window, climb out, and run through the night.
Tumblr media
When you finally reach the door you’ve dreamed of walking through for nearly half a year, it is dark, and the city is as asleep as it gets. You haven’t had a home in too long, and thinking of going to the station to answer questions about every little thing you saw and did makes you nauseous. So, you linger outside the one place you can think to go. Raising your hand, you grip the sleeve in your fist and knock.
The door opens harshly as if the person is grumpy from being woken or unimpressed by such a late visit. You forget to breathe when you see the man at the door and the first breath you force yourself to take causes a tear to roll over your cheek. Tim steps toward you, his shoulders dropping as his eyes widen and his gaze softens. He sees the blood on your cheek but doesn’t try to touch you.
“I didn’t know where else to go,” you admit quietly.
Tim nods and pushes the door open wider for you. With the sleeves of his old jacket grasped between your hands, you step into his home and wait.
“I… What do you need?” he asks.
You look down, unsure about where to start answering that question. “A shower would be nice,” you reply.
Tim leads you through his house and into his bedroom. He tells you where all of his clothes are, where the fresh towels are under the sink, and invites you to use whatever you want.
“I’ll be close, if you need anything,” he says before closing the door behind him. “You can lock the door,” he adds through the wood.
You lay your hand on the doorknob, then let your fingers slip off without locking it. Navigating carefully and quietly through Tim's room, you take a few pieces of his clothing into the bathroom. The warm shower feels good, but you hate that you can’t hear well over the falling water, so you cut your time in the cleansing stream short. Dressed in Tim’s clothes, you walk through his bedroom and open the door. Tim stands from his position on the floor, where he’d been waiting down the hall in case you called for him.
“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay,” he says. “Do you know what you want to do?”
“Can I just…” You trail off and gesture weakly in an around motion.
“Yeah, of course,” Tim answers. “I’ll be on the couch.”
He listens as you pace through his hallway and into his bedroom. You’re not the woman he knew before, and he understands that, but his worry about you and concerns about what you’ve been through threaten to overwhelm him.
Ten minutes later, you enter the living room and sit on the other end of the couch. You pinch Tim’s sweatpants between your fingers and avoid looking at him, but you’ve never been happier to be in his presence, to be sitting beside him.
“I’m here,” Tim says. “I don’t want to push anything on you, but whatever you need, whatever I can do – or not do – to help you, I am here.”
“Thank you,” you say, looking up to see him. “I missed you.”
“You had my jacket.” Tim’s eyes drop momentarily like he’s trying to place what else is different about you.
“I couldn’t look in the mirror,” you confide. “Is my nose crooked? Or crookeder than before?”
Tim hesitates before he answers. Not because your nose is crooked and he’s preparing to lie, but because he’s wondering what happened to your nose and who caused it.
“It looks perfect,” he says. “Like before.”
You place your hand gently over your nose and say, “Kol broke it.”
“I’m sorry,” Tim whispers.
You drop your hand and nod at him. Moving closer, you close some of the distance between you. “I want to feel like me again.”
“You will,” he promises. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
“I might’ve used all that strength.”
“Then you’ll use ours. Everyone around you is ready to help you.”
“Until they find out what I did and have to hear my word against his,” you murmur.
Tim wants to know more about what that means, but your head drops against his shoulder, and suddenly, you are the only thing in the world that matters.
Tumblr media
“How’d it go?” Tim asks as you exit the locker room a week later.
“Okay,” you answer carefully. “I don’t think the DA completely believed me about Councilman Brek, but everyone else in the room did. Hopefully Rich and Kol are cowardly enough to take a plea deal and testify against him.”
Someone calls your name as you enter the station’s lobby with Tim.
“Ilsa?!” you exclaim, rushing to hug her. “Are you okay? What are you doing here?”
“My father hired a PI after my return, and the man found more women. We are here to talk to the detective.”
“Which detective?” you inquire, hoping it isn’t Rodriguez.
“That would be me,” Nyla says. “Major crimes was stretched a little thin, and when I saw your name in Ms. Alekseev’s report, Lopez and I jumped on it.”
“Thank you. Ilsa, here’s my number,” you say, handing her a card.
She hugs you again and turns around just before she reaches the door. “Thank you for saving our lives. Maria and Becca went to the embassy when we returned. They’re with their family.”
Nyla mouths safehouse and you nod in understanding.
“You’re brave, Ilsa. Thanks for keeping me safe.”
“I don’t think one bandage makes us even.”
“We’re survivors, that makes us even.”
She waves and follows Nyla into the station as you and Tim exit. He leads you to his truck and opens the passenger door for you, repeating one bandage over and over in his mind. Realistically, he knew you had to have received injuries, but other than the broken nose, he doesn’t know exactly what you went through. Only that Councilman Brek was involved.
“Want me to order dinner?” you ask as Tim backs out of the parking space.
“Whatever you want,” he answers, meaning it in more ways than dinner.
Tumblr media
An hour after you wish Tim goodnight and retreat to his extra bedroom, you knock on his partially open door. He invites you in, and you don’t hesitate to enter and tuck one leg under you as you sit on his bed.
“Can we talk?” you ask.
“Of course,” he answers, turning to focus completely on you.
“First, thank you for letting me stay here. I’m working on finding a new place, but I really didn’t want to be alone.” Tim nods, so you continue, “The day they took me, I texted who I thought was you, as you know, but when they put me in the truck, there were three women inside.”
“Ilsa?” Tim guesses.
“Yeah, and she had just been injured. And then Becca and Maria. Becca- She’s 15, Tim. I couldn’t leave them in there, defenseless.”
“Wait,” Tim murmurs, laying his hand over yours. “No one blames you for getting trapped. You were abducted, that’s not something anyone is going to be mad about.”
“I probably could’ve fought and gotten out. I couldn’t leave them.” Tim nods, so you tell him about your first few nights in Mexico, about the bunker and Rich and Kol, and about how you kept Becca as far from everything as possible.
“And Brek bought their freedom to keep me quiet about him being Vaquero,” you finish, leaving out the worst of your experiences. “I think about it a lot, but the worst memories come when I’m trying to sleep.”
“I get it,” Tim assures you. “I’ve got a past that plagues me too. It gets better, and you’re not alone.”
“I feel safe with you,” you admit, dropping your eyes to where Tim’s hand rests on yours. “When I convinced them to let me lead them to Crystal, I was scared I’d never find who I was before.”
“And now?”
“I know I can,” you say. “With you.”
“Can I ask something?” Tim requests. “You can say no, and you don’t have to answer.”
“Of course.”
“There was dried blood on your clothes when you showed up. Was it all yours?”
You nod and unconsciously shift closer to Tim.
“Some of it was from the broken nose. Tim, your jacket kept me alive. It held a lot of blood and tears, but it reminded me of home, of you, and it helped me fight when I thought I had nothing left.”
Tim swallows, and his eyes drop. You follow his gaze, then lay your hands over the jagged scar on your thigh.
“You’re safe,” you repeat. “I can be me again with you. And I can never thank you enough for that.”
Tim slowly raises his hand to your face to catch the escaping tear with his thumb. You lean into his touch, and Tim promises to stay close.
“Brek has some illegal strip club or bar, I don’t know exactly what it is, down there,” you begin. “I was there for a night, dressed – which is a generous term for the uniform – like a cop, and some guy didn’t like the order of how things happened.”
“You’re okay,” Tim promises.
You lean into him, resting against his chest as he shifts his arms to hold you. With your shoulder tucked beneath his, your face on his chest, and your legs pulled over his, Tim holds you like he never wants to let you go. You’re a cop and are far from naïve about the dangers and the evil of the world, but right here, you feel completely safe and more at home than anywhere else. Tim’s finger drags lightly over the scar as he kisses your forehead.
“We’re going to get him, and get all of those women home,” you say. “Nyla told me that you didn’t give up on me, even when Rodriguez tried to sweep everything.”
“Of course not. I knew you’d be fighting even harder to get home.”
After a moment, Tim asks, “Did you get a tetanus shot?”
You laugh. For the first time since returning home, you truly, joyfully laugh. “Yes, I did,” you answer with a smile. “Thank you for seeing me through the scars.”
Tim smiles, gently tracing your cheekbone and jaw, and silently promises to make every single person involved pay for what they did. He'll start with the man who assaulted you with a knife and work down the list.
“Tim,” you say. It draws his attention back to this moment. “Do things have to go back to exactly how they were before?”
Tim looks down your body, then raises his brows. Clearly, your position says no, but you want confirmation from Tim that you’re more than you were before.
“Can I show you?” he asks.
“I’d love that.”
Tim flattens his palm against your cheek and drops his chin to kiss you. It’s slow, and though his hands are on you, it’s different than before. You’re not scared of touch, you realize, leaning into his hands. Tim Bradford is home, he’s safe, and you love him. Despite the scars, the trauma, and the unforgettable horrors you’ve seen and experienced, he loves you too.
“Does that answer your question?” he whispers against your lips.
His hand drops to your leg once more, and when he doesn’t hesitate to brush it over your scar, you smile and say, “Maybe repeat it? Make sure I got everything?”
Smiling, Tim says, “If anything ever feels wrong, or brings up something you don’t like, promise to tell me?”
You offer your pinky to promise, and Tim takes your wrist gently in his hand. The scars circling your wrists and forearms have lightened, but the deep rope burn carved into them will never disappear entirely. After Tim kisses a darker scar, he hooks his pinky in yours.
122 notes · View notes
years-of-minecraft · 2 years ago
Text
6 notes · View notes
daemaid · 4 months ago
Text
Can I just say that I feel it’s a little odd that the Mystic Seller just rips Narinder from whatever afterlife he went to just to give him up as a prize?
I get that game-play wise this was to allow people who chose to kill him post-battle access to a unique follower that would have been unobtainable before, but story-wise it just has me like ??? Why did they do that???
Idk maybe I’m missing something, but was anyone else sorta weirded out by this part of the game?
#I know the simple answer is that it’s the reward the lamb gets for restoring order#but I feel like the intensity of what the seller gives the lamb after they complete their mission varies greatly#depending on whether or not the player spared Narinder after his boss battle or not#if you chose to spare him the sellers like “#ok here’s a statue of your predecessor#but then if you previously killed him they just drag the man himself kicking and screaming back to the land of the living#giving him as a gift to his killer#two very different rewards for the same job and it just has me like 🫢#idk I just always felt this potential segment of the game was kinda nasty#and it just makes me think the seller has some vendetta against Narinder personally#or maybe I’m missing or forgetting something hmm#side note: I know I’ve been rambling about this but I have actually never seen this interaction with the seller with my own eyes#I found out that this was a thing from the wiki because I refuse to kill Narinder since it’s objectively the worse option#and because it’s the worse option most people spare him as well for the natural immortality trait#but now I’m having trouble finding footage of when the seller gifts him to the Lamb#because everyone spares him#so now I’m wondering if the seller just throws his ass on the ground or just holds him flailing upside down before finally dropping him#kinda like when the lamb is running to put a follower in the stocks#cult of the lamb#mystic seller#cotl narinder#my post
8 notes · View notes
butnotbubblegum · 6 months ago
Text
using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
9 notes · View notes
apollos-boyfriend · 1 year ago
Note
are you planning to do a species survey for qsmp when they add more members or was that just a dsmp thing ? just curious :]
yes actually! the reason i haven’t done it yet isn’t because of lack of members, but more due to how relatively new the server is! by the time i ran the first edition of the dsmp one, the server had been running for a good while, meaning there were a lot of different headcanons, interpretations, etc of every character. since the qsmp is much newer, and a munch of streamers are just now getting mcyt-ified and hybrid-ified, i felt it’d be best to let things simmer for a while to get the Full Range of possibilities. to me, running it now feels like the equivalent of running the dsmp one before the election arc. we didn’t even have goat!tubbo back then! i gotta give them some time to play in the space, yknow? especially with the fact that more people will be added, as opposed to the dsmp having been fully stagnant at the time.
until that point comes, i’ve been making sure to keep a running tab on the most common variants i’ve seen! here’s a sneak peek of what i’ve collected so far :3c
Tumblr media
41 notes · View notes
brambletakato · 3 months ago
Text
Tagged by @alto-tenure ! I haven’t heard of this poll before, but I was delighted to be included ❤️
Rules: Make a poll of your favorite female characters, as many or little as you want, and have your followers vote on one!
Tagging: @puzzlefaggot , @justkillingthyme , @bearofohu , @magpie-trinkets
2 notes · View notes
filthytheodeckerkinnie · 6 months ago
Text
Your moral fragility is not more important than other peoples lives.
2 notes · View notes
j-esbian · 8 months ago
Text
i know it’s well-meaning but i still kind of wince whenever i see people perpetuate the idea that wlw either 1) recognize their identity at a young age and have “””normal””” teenage romantic/sexual relationships with other girls or 2) live in perfect ignorance until a certain point (and therefore still had “””normal””” heterosexual teenage experiences) and their inexperience with women is due to the fact that they have just come out
3 notes · View notes
the-starlight-papers · 9 months ago
Text
We’ve reached the point in the year for my engineering team that I’m just kinda watching everyone (but especially the grad students in charge of the team) slowly lose their sanity
3 notes · View notes
gingersnapwolves · 22 days ago
Text
So today I want to talk about puberty blockers for transgender kids, because despite being cisgender, this is a subject I’m actually well-versed in. Specifically, I want to talk about how far backwards things have gone.
This story starts almost 20 years ago, and it’s kind of long, but I think it’s important to give you the full history. At the time, I was working as an administrative assistant for a pediatric endocrinologist in a red state. Not a deep deep red state like Alabama, we had a little bit of a purple trend, but still very much red. (I don’t want to say the state at the risk of doxxing myself.) And I took a phone call from a woman who said, “My son is transgender. Does your doctor do hormone therapy?”
I said, “Good question! Let me find out.”
I went into the back and found the doctor playing Solitaire on his computer and said, “Do you do hormone therapy for transgender kids?” It had literally never come up before. He had opened his practice there in the early 2000s. This was roughly 2006, and the first time someone asked. Without looking up from his game of Solitaire, the doctor said, “I’ve never done it before, but I know how it works, so sure.”
I got back on the phone and told the mom, who was overjoyed, and scheduled an appointment for her son. He was the first transgender child we treated with puberty blockers. But not, by far, the first child we treated with puberty blockers, period. Because puberty blockers are used very commonly for children with precocious puberty (early-onset puberty). I would say about twenty percent of the kids our doctor treated were for precocious puberty and were on puberty blockers. They have been well studied and are widely used, safe, and effective.
Well. It turned out, the doctor I worked for was the only doctor in the state who was willing to do this. And word spread pretty fast in the tight-knit community of ‘parents of transgender children in a red state’. We started seeing more kids. A better drug came out. We saw some kids who were at the age where they were past puberty, and prescribed them estrogen or testosterone. Our doctor became, I’m fairly sure, a small folk hero to this community. 
Insurance coverage was a struggle. I remember copying articles and pages out of the Endocrine Society Manual to submit with prior authorization requests for the medications. Insurance coverage was a struggle for a lot of what we did, though. Growth hormone for kids with severe idiopathic short stature. Insulin pumps, which weren’t as common at the time, and then continuous glucose monitoring, when that came out. Insurance struggles were just part and parcel of the job.
I remember vividly when CVS Caremark, a pharmaceutical management company, changed their criteria and included gender dysphoria as a covered diagnosis for puberty blockers. I thought they had put the option on the questionnaire to trigger an automatic denial. But no - it triggered an approval. Medicaid started to cover it. I got so good at getting approvals with my by then tidy packet of articles and documentation that I actually had people in other states calling me to see what I was submitting (the pharmaceutical rep gave them my number because they wanted more people on their drug, which, shady, but sure. He did ask me if it was okay first).
And here’s the key point of this story:
At no point, during any of this, did it ever even occur to any of us that we might have to worry about whether or not what we were doing was legal.
It just never even came up. It was the medically recommended treatment so we did it. And seeing what’s happening in the UK and certain states in America is both terrifying and genuinely shocking to me, as someone who did this for almost fifteen years, without ever even wondering about the legality of it.
The doctor retired some years ago, at which point there were two other doctors in the state who were willing to prescribe the medications for transgender kids. I truly think that he would still be working if nobody else had been willing to take those kids on as patients. He was, by the way, a white cisgender heterosexual Boomer. I remember when he was introduced to the concept of ‘genderfluid’ because one of our patients on HRT wanted to go off. He said ‘that’s so interesting!’ and immediately went to Google to learn more about it. 
I watched these kids transform. I saw them come into the office the first time, sometimes anxious and uncertain, sometimes sullen and angry. I saw them come in the subsequent times, once they were on hormone therapy, how they gradually became happy and confident in themselves. I saw the smiles on their faces when I gave them a gender marker letter for the DMV. I heard them cheer when I called to tell them I’d gotten HRT approved by insurance and we were calling in a prescription. It was honestly amazing and I will always consider the work I did in that red state with those kids to be something I am incredibly proud of. I was honored to be a part of it.
When I see all this transgender backlash, it’s horrifying, because it was well on the way to become standard and accepted treatment. Insurances started to cover it. Other doctors were learning to prescribe it. And now … it’s fucking illegal? Like what the actual fuck. We have gone so far backwards that it makes me want to cry. I don’t know how to stop this slide. But I wrote this so people would understand exactly how steep the slide is.
34K notes · View notes
caelum-in-the-avatarverse · 8 months ago
Text
Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available. 
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community. 
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company? 
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists. 
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
Tumblr media
[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom 
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
-
“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits. 
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people. 
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it. 
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
8K notes · View notes
sincerelyrki · 6 months ago
Text
forbidden fruit
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
how would four best friends, all helplessly in love with their other best friends big sister, react to getting her leaked sex tape sent them via a groupchat? there was only two options. one was to ignore it, and the other was to act on it.
pairing : enha!hyungline x fem!reader
warnings + genre : smut. oral (m+f). fivesome. anal. double penetration. pool sex. anal (f). spitting. choking. partial MxM. brothers best friend(s). jealousy. profanity. spit. cum eating/sharing. sunghoon has a breeding kink. unsafe sex. name calling/slight degradation. marking. reverse harem. a singular photo gets taken. begging. switch!jay. switch!jake. dom!heeseung. dom!sunghoon. switch!reader. whining. 18+.
wc : 7.9k
a/n : been gone for a while and about to disappear again… i’ve been too busy to do literally anything, i just got back from a month vacation and i’m leaving again for another week on friday. anyways not sure how i feel about this but i hope you can accept this as an apology for my absence 🙏 don’t be shy to leave feedback, i’d love to hear everyones thoughts <3
written perm taglist : @vousty @ilololoveyou @moon0fthenight
Tumblr media
An alluring person you were, the sweet nectar of a forbidden fruit strong with your scent as you swayed passed them. 
A forbidden fruit, that’s all you were- all they allowed you to be. 
It was hard staying away from you, their shared desire to hold you, to bend you over any surface was nearly impossible to hold back. 
The rush of heat racing across their bodies, the unforgiving hairs on their tensed necks raising with interest at every innocent graze of your skin. Your short skirts quickly became a problem amongst your four friends, your thick thighs peeking out beneath the tight material- fuck it was a sight out of every man’s wet dreams. 
Your innocent eyes could do nothing to stop their reactions. Your long eyelashes fluttering lightly against your shined cheeks, pink with your favourite blush, pretty lips pulling up into the sweetest smile- you’re fucking ruining them, and they did nothing to stop it. 
It was wrong to think of you in this way, to picture you in any compromising position. So wrong to imagine the bruises on your knees, caused by your foolishly clumsy tumbles, to be a result of your mouth against them, well… wrapped around them. 
Hearing about your sexual conquers was one thing, but seeing it was a completely different story. At least for one of the options they could pretend it never happened, that it was nothing more than a misspeaking- a horrible mistake of a slip of a tongue. 
But after all, there was nothing they could do. Fate was more than cruel when they made you nothing more than their best friends older sister.
Taunting wasn’t it? Dangling the one thing they all wanted in front of their noses, allowing them a preview of the woman they all dreamt about late at night with their warm palms wrapped around their leaking cocks, crying with the simulation of what they imagined your mouth, god what your fucking pussy would feel like wrapped tight around them. 
Their thoughts would torture them with the idea of what you would sound like, and how you would look while they manipulated your body to best fit their size. 
Their imagination was so cruel, so. fucking. cruel. It was too easy to imagine your mouth in place of their hands, to pretend that the nasty audio in their ears was in reality, your whimpers. They would ignore their phone's notification, their volume sensitivity going off as the wanton moans in their ears rose in volume. Their questions kept them up even longer, their palms tightening to an almost painful hold as their mind uncontrollably spiralled.
Would you beg for them to wrap their fingers around your neck while they pounded deep into you? Would you push them onto their backs, dropping your entire weight back down onto them? Would you leave pretty scratches up their backs, purposefully using your nails to carve your initials deep into their shoulders?
As said before, it was fucking torture. 
So imagine their collective shock when they woke up to a mysterious group chat, one that only included two things. A message, and a short thirty-second video.
It wasn’t only the obvious gloating message that outraged them, but rather it was the very compromising, and also very nude, photo of you that was set as the thumbnail.
678-999-8212
*one video attached*
well, it looks like I won, doesn’t it?
heeseung 
what the fuck?
jay
holy shit, is that yn? 
heeseung 
don’t look, just delete it
sunghoon
too late, I’m going to kill him
jake
you don’t even know who he is😭
jay
she doesn’t look like she’s enjoying it…
even a blind man could tell that she was faking it
heeseung
fucking prick, I could make her feel so much better
sunghoon
she’s mine, back tf off?
heeseung
in what fucking universe?
jake
I don’t remember there being a rule against sharing
jay
all four of us?
jake
I mean… why not? 
And once again, that was something they all agreed on.  
Tumblr media
As usual, you came waltzing downstairs right at eight in the evening. Nothing appeared different about the way you came in, your hair in its usual updo with one of your many pretty sundresses tight around your bust. 
To the older boys, it was crazy how unaffected you looked. A sour taste filled Sunghoon’s mouth, his eyes glaring holes into your exposed calves. 
He watched the way you walked, the slight bounce in your step only noticeable due to his heavy stare, his distaste growing the longer he watched the way you moved.
No Hickeys? Clearly, the man you chose last night wasn’t the right option because if he was then he would’ve been like Sunghoon. He would’ve thrown your legs over his shoulders as he pressed his tongue deep into your greedy hole, leaving hickeys all across your inner thighs with matching fingerprints. 
He wouldn’t stop even when you cried with sensitivity, your legs shaking around his body while your bottom lips quivered uncontrollably. 
No limp? Once again, Sunghoon would’ve never let you leave his room until he physically had to hold your body straight. You’d feel him for the next week, feel his aching thrusts every time he ever thought about touching another man. 
Sunghoon thought that it was obvious that a girl like you deserved to be ravished, to be loved on to the point where it had you questioning everything about yourself. 
But it seemed that only a few shared his same feelings, his eyes catching the way his slightly older friends’ hands clenched against their thighs. 
“Are you going anywhere today?” Jake felt his body stiffen at the way your dress swayed at your knees when you came to a stop, your arms crossing against your chest as you smiled at your younger brother.
Jake’s eyes followed the movement, his mouth opening and closing observing the way your chest pushed up at your innocent action. His thoughts raced at the way they’d feel pressed around his hard dick, the image itself causing his shorts to tighten. 
It was when he met your eyes that he realized what he was doing, his eyes snapping to the side while he repositioned himself. He was fortunate enough to have been wrapped in a blanket, his growing size hidden away from your sight. 
But even then all he felt was your eyes staring straight through him. He allowed himself to look back up once, guilt flooding his system when you passed him a cute smile. He was a fucking perv, and no one but himself was there to witness it all. 
“No, I had a long day yesterday.” Rage. His eyes burned with an invisible fire that quickly melted away any guilt, the video playing in front of his eyes once again- as if the other fifty-seven times wasn’t enough. “I think I’m just going to spend my day by the pool, practice my breathing.” Jake caught onto the innuendo right away, a barely noticeable wink getting thrown his way before you turned your attention back to your brother. 
Your younger brother, Jungwon, hummed at your words. Everyone knew he wasn’t paying close attention to you, your words going in one ear and out the other while he leaned against his spread knees, hands wrapped around his white controller.
��Fuck- okay, um I think the hyungs wanted to go swimming today too-“ Jungwon’s cursing became blurred out as his words grew heavy in the air. Without meaning to, Jungwon graced his friends with the perfect scenario. 
“Not sure about the others, but I think I’d love to go swimming with you.” Heeseung stood up, his eyes never looking away from your own as he dramatically stretched his arms up, his shirt pulling up to display the bottom half of his torso- flexing his muscles in the process.
His lips pulled up at the side when he saw the way you shamelessly stared at his abs, your eyes burning lines into his skin as they trailed across every inch of exposed skin. His ego could only expand seeing the way you rubbed your knees together at the sight of his v-line.
And when a throat clearing on his other side moved your attention from his body, Heeseung wanted nothing more than to punch Jay’s faux shy smirk off his lips. 
Jay pushed forward, his chest stopping centimetres from yours. “I don’t have any trunks, do you mind showing me where the spares are?” He tilted his head to the side with a much less shy smile, his eyebrows slightly raising as he waited for your response. 
He made the effort to never look away from your eyes, his pupils expanding under the bright light. It was only then that you noticed the light freckles spreading across the expanse of his nose, your eyes connecting the new constellations as his question faded into the back of your mind. 
Jay saw one of the boys move forward before he felt them, a hand-clapping against his shoulder before he was spun towards them. Sunghoon’s face was bare of expression, his hold on Jay’s shoulder tightening with every word that came from his lips- “Well luckily for you I also need a pair and I happen to know exactly where Jungwon keeps them.” 
Sunghoon didn’t look your way before he turned his back to the two of you, his footsteps light as he began descending down the hallway. You watched through a haze as the other boys followed, their overlapping whispers barely audible over each other.
But at last, you managed to make out one before the four of them disappeared from your sight, “we all have trunks, we literally planned on using them last night?” And with that, a smirk grew on your lips. 
Naivety was one game that you had mastered from an early age, it was about time they caught on. And so you turned on your heel, walking towards the laundry room to collect one of your many pool towels. 
“I’m going out, Minjae needs help setting up for the party tomorrow.” Your brother rushed past you, his hand plucking your sunglasses from your head with a playful smile, “I think I'll be needing these a bit more.” And with the close of the door, you decided to ditch your towel. 
If the boys were playing the game you thought they were then you definitely wouldn’t be needing one. 
Tumblr media
All four boys couldn’t move their eyes from your barely covered form, their mouths practically open and drooling watching the way you pulled your dress up. 
The sun kissed your skin in a perfectly golden hue, your body glistening with an addictive enhancement due to a thin layer of sweat. 
Their cheeks grew warm as they watched you pull the fabric over your hips, their greedy eyes drinking in all newly exposed skin. They were all aware that they were tiptoeing the line of being perverted, but god the way you moved was fucking hypnotizing. 
One second they had you, and the next they didn’t. You went diving into the deep end, a perfected technique that they would’ve commented on under any other circumstances. 
By the time you rose from the water, time moved in slow motion. Your hair slung over your shoulder, droplets of water cascading down your face- dripping everywhere from your lips to your eyelashes. 
A forbidden fruit, that’s still all you were. 
Half an hour later, that stance was impossible to believe. Heeseung had you right where he wanted you, your covered core pressed against his, discretely grinding against him as you pretended to play colours. 
“hm, is your colour red?” Your head tilted to the side, arms wrapped around his shoulder as you prepared to get dunked again. 
“No.” He lied. His colour was, in fact, red, but in his defence you just looked way too good in his arms, wrapped around him. He wasn’t sure how he managed to get into this situation, but after a singular look from you, he had folded.
He was almost positive that for the game colours the second player would be held bridal style, but you insisted otherwise. And Heeseung decided then and there that he’d never argue with a pretty girl.
“How about green?” Heeseung shook his head once, a cheesy smile on his lips. You groaned out loud, your hand smacking against the water as you threw your little tantrum.
Heeseung decided against dunking you this time, your cute upset smile warming his chest. “How about a different game, truth or dare?” 
You jumped up with excitement, the movement causing Heeseung to groan. You both paused, eyes wide once you realized what just happened. 
“Oh- I’m sorry-“ You tried apologizing to which Heeseung just shushed you, his face bright red. “Truth or dare?” He decided to change the subject, giving you an appreciative smile once you reciprocated it. 
“No, can I go first?” Heeseung jokingly rolled his eyes at you, his arms propping up on the poolside behind him. 
“Truth.” Heeseung assumed this would be the easy way out, as it usually was. It wasn’t that he had any secrets to hide, so why wouldn’t he choose truth?
“Have you ever had sex in a pool?” This, perhaps, is the only time Heeseung wishes that he chose dare. 
“No.” He didn’t provide an explanation, not even after you desperately begged for one. It was the truth, he never has. He didn’t see the appeal to hook up with someone in the pool, because what’s the point? 
“Truth or dare?”
“Dare.” Heeseung wasn’t shocked, dare having been your go-to since you were a child. 
“I dare you kiss me.” Heeseung thought you’d reject him, leave him to go bother someone else. But you’ve been the person to deny a dare.
And so you leaned forward, connecting your lips. It was only a second long, but it managed to changed your entire dynamic. 
“Truth or dare?” And against Heeseung’s better judgment, he finally chose dare. 
“I dare you to fuck me.” 
Heeseung knew it was risky, but a dare was a dare, right? 
Tumblr media
“Are you seriously  fucking in the pool?” Heeseung froze, there’s no way they just got caught- “Are you jealous?” there was no denying it now. 
If you didn’t care that the others knew, why would he? And so he pulled at the two strings holding your bottoms together, completely removing them. 
The other boys’ faces fell when they saw Heeseung raise your bottoms, betrayal swimming across their faces watching the way his hands controlled your body.
“What the fuck-” Jake choked out after a minute of watching his best friend trust into you, the way your legs wrapped around his waist as you filled your hips to match his pace.
Your moan awoke something deep within them, a desire that made each of them forget about the entire “forbidden fruit” bullshit.
“Don’t be rude, share.” Heeseung rolled his eyes at Sunghoon’s demand but complied. There was plenty of time for Heeseung to make you cum, this one time won’t make a difference.
He hauled you onto the side of the pool, your cunt exposed for all of them to see. Sunghoon didn’t waste a minute before he threw your legs over his shoulder, pressing his face into you. 
Your hands wrapped around his loose hair, the wet strands pulling together in a makeshift ponytail. He started by licking across the labia, his tongue flat against the entirety of you. 
He used two fingers to spread you, his nose pushing against your clit as he lapped at your leaking hole, his quiet groan causing vibrations to speak across your entire body. 
His touch awakened many of the nerves in your body, his tongue bringing you to a place no other man managed to and that was only within the first minute. You didn’t even want to imagine the way you’d feel by the time you finished on his face, would it be as good as you hoped? Or even better?
Jake was growing impatient, his face nearly pressed against your leg as he watched the way Sunghoon ate you- his entire body throbbing with need.
Heeseung noticed and nudged Jake forward, his head nodding towards the place Sunghoon’s head was buried, “we’re sharing, remember?”
Jake didn’t need to be told twice, easily sliding between your leg and Sunghoon’s arm. You looked at Jake with confusion, having never been put in a situation where two men wanted to have you at the same time. 
But Jake didn’t care, all he needed was to taste you- to feel your pulse against his tongue. 
Once he knew that you were watching he lowered his head towards the place where Sunghoon’s mouth was attached to you, both men making eye contact for half a second before the other man shifted to the side- making room for the other.
Your jaw dropped open when he attached his mouth to your clit, his tongue using the mixture of your wetness and Sunghoon’s spit to move in spirals. 
It seemed that the lewd noises from Jake caught the attention of the other two boys, their jaws matching yours. “Holy shit-“ Heeseung leaned forward to view better, his hand coming down to push Jake’s hair from his face. 
The three of you watched as the two boys performed, their tongues pressing together as they switched positions, Jake pulling one of your knees over his shoulder in an attempt to pull you closer. 
Heeseung used his hold on Jake’s hair to tilt his head closer to Sunghoon’s, their lips practically touching with every move. “Our baby deserves a better view.” He tsked from his position on your side, eyebrows furrowed while he watched the boys walk an invisible line.
Sunghoon’s heavy eyes glared up towards Heeseung, his sticky cheeks glistening so pretty under the pool's lights. There were some things that Sunghoon could ignore, but a blatant challenge? He’d be dead before he proved anyone wrong.
And so, while maintaining eye contact, he turned his head towards Jake. He pushed his lips against the side of the boys, pushing his tongue to lick at the exact stop Jake was lapping at. 
Jake, of course, reciprocated right away- both boys practically making out against your cunt, strings of saliva connected the three of you together. And such performers they were, the other boys growing jealous at your undivided attention being pulled at the boys between your legs.
A rough tap on your cheek was enough to pull your attention back to a kneeling, now hands-free, Heeseung. One of his now free hands gripped at the area where your chin and neck meet, his thumb pressing directly on your pulse point. 
“Are they making you feel good?” He cooed, his lips jutting out while his other hand toyed with the string of his bathing suit bottoms. 
You nodded at his words, your face melting into his palms with a dumb look in your eyes. Heeseung barely managed to keep down his smile, his chest warming at the sight of you nuzzling against him. 
If it wasn’t for the throbbing in his lower body, then maybe he could’ve adored the sight for a minute longer. But his impatience grew thin the longer he heard the noise from between your legs, jealousy stirring deep in his stomach.
“Open your mouth.” His hand moved further up your chin, your cheeks now pressed between two of his fingers, tightening as he applied pressure, forcing your lips open. You tried your best to keep your lips sealed, a playful action that evoked the exact reaction you expected.
Heeseung’s eyes narrowed on demand, his nose slightly scrunching together as he looked at you with a look you recognized all too well. 
Your stomach tightened in anticipation, the rumours surrounding Heeseung’s kinks coming to your head.
It wasn’t a secret that Heeseung got around, but his partners seemed to remain a mystery. You had first heard the rumours in your eleventh-grade history class, a few girls crowded around the seat behind you, their voices mudding together as they formed their own fantasies. 
It wasn’t hard to hear the name of the man of the hour, your brother's best friend’s name being on your mind more times than it was supposed to.
It was a childhood crush, a dream that got crushed with the words spilling from the other girl's lips. They’d whisper about how Heeseung only bed college women, about how he only liked women with experience. 
In their words, he wanted someone who could “handle it.” At first, you didn’t understand what they meant, handle what? It was a week later when you finally understood, it was then when you decided that you were over him.
If you couldn't get under him, why not get over him? And that’s what you did, well until now. 
It was safe to say that the current you could handle him, your experience growing tenfold in the year after you graduated. 
But there was this one rumoured kink that you couldn’t seem to shake, one that has stuck around since the day you heard it. 
He rose to his feet, pushing his trunks down in a smooth swipe, completely exposing himself to your watering mouth. His hand returned to its position, pressing your mouth open once again. Only this time, you allowed him.  
His length felt heavy on your tongue, foreign to what you were used to. He was much bigger than most of your past partners, which you took as a good sign. 
There had to be some proof of the rumour, and you couldn’t help but take this as the first hint. The second hint came directly after, his tip hitting the back of your throat, bottoming out straight away.
Throatfucking? Sure it was pretty basic, but god some men just couldn’t do it. They either went too fast and shallow, barely reaching halfway across your tongue. Or they went too slow and deep, your boredom growing as they used your throat in a pathetic attempt.
Heeseung, the man who was almost known for his head game rumours, seemed to be the perfect fit. 
Your senses were filled with nothing but him. His taste filled your mouth, the precum coating your mouth in a layer of lubricant. Both your throat and scalp burned with each thrust, but it hurt so good.
His soft grunts made you all more pliant, loosening your jaw to allow more suction, it was a sight straight out of both of your wet dreams. Jay seemed to agree. 
Jay’s hand wrapped around the base of your throat, tightening- holding you in place. His breath tickled your ear as he blew warm air against it, his words slipping out with each harsh thrust getting pushed in.
“You can feel him so deep, can’t you?” He pressed small kisses along your jawline, trailing down to the center of your throat. He pulled away the tiniest bit, his eyes glowing with amazement as he watched the way your skin bulged every few seconds.
He raised a finger to press against the most prominent spot, his lips following suit as he began nipping against the same spot. “C’mon, I need you too…” He trailed off, alternating between kissing and sucking on your exposed neck. 
“Please, don’t make me beg.” Jay didn’t need to say another word, your hand already blindly searching for his shorts. His hand quickly guided yours, pushing it between his stomach and the elastic. 
His head fell against your shoulder, his chest pressed halfway across your back. He didn’t care for the man on his other side, his eyes closing as he melted into the feeling of your hands rubbing against his bare cock.
Heeseung’s head fell back at your increase of moans, the vibrations rushing his release. He quickly pulled out of your mouth, his hand gripping around his base as he stopped himself from cumming too early. 
Heeseung looked back between your legs, Sunghoon now sucking hickeys against your thighs as Jake pushed his finger into you, his tongue licking at the skin stretching around them. 
A cool shiver spread through his back, his bare body exposed to the cold wind blowing from the pool. It was then that he noticed that goosebumps were present along most of your arms, granted some were for other reasons, but it was the only sign he needed. 
Instead of using words, he just opted to lean toward the two boys still half-submerged in the water. He grabbed Jake’s hair, pulling his face away from your cunt. 
Jake’s eyes snapped up, confusion clouding his irises. Heeseung ignored the look before letting Jake go, reaching over to do the same thing to Sunghoon. 
Sunghoon caught onto Heeseung’s look way quicker, his body detaching from yours as he hauled himself from the pool, his trunks tight against his waist.
Jake, albeit still a bit confused, followed suit right away. Heeseung looked at Jake’s now bare thighs, his eyebrows furrowing in a silent question. 
Jake only shrugged, shooting him a sly smile before he used his thumb to point over his shoulder, his black trunks floating along the surface on the other side of the pool. 
All that was left was you and Jay, your full attention on him. His chest pushing harshly against you, his heartbeat thumping against your shoulder blades. 
“We’re going inside.” Jay shook his head against you, his hips pushing forward to rut into your warm hands. You clicked your tongue in faux annoyance, your fingers tightening almost painfully against him- forcing his movements to stop. 
You removed your hands from his shorts, your hands wrapping around the band to pull him in front of you. Your chests were pressed together, hearts beating as one. 
His watery eyes opened, meeting yours as his cheeks flushed. Your facade melted, your eyes filling with adoration at his needy expression. “We’re not done, you’ll feel so much better upstairs.” You whispered, ignoring all the other boy's eyes staring directly at your exposed body. 
Jay still didn’t move, his eyes pulling you in once again. Without a thought, you pushed your lips against his- tilting your head for a closer angle.
It wasn’t even ten seconds in when Heeseung came stomping over, his hand grabbing Jay’s hair to pull his lips away from yours. A thick string of spit stretched across both of your lips, your head following his. 
All boy's jaws dropped at your following action, their arousal and jealousy battling against each other. You leaned forward once more, your tongue pressing against the side of Jay's mouth, swiping from one side to the other.
You causally licked the spit from his lips before swiping at your own bottom lip. After a moment of silence, you looked up.
Jay’s mouth opened and closed, gaping at the sudden action. “You- what?” He blubbered out, shock heavy in his tone. And just as Jake did before, you just shrugged. “Can’t let it go to waste, can we?” You stood up using Sunghoon’s outstretched palm, entwining your fingers while sliding your slides back on. 
 “We’re going inside, now,” Heeseung growled towards Jay, his eyes watching your hips sway as you walked away. 
Tumblr media
The second you stepped into your bedroom Sunghoon pushed you against the wall, his hand wrapped tight around your throat with his lips pushed into yours- pinning you down. 
He traced your entire body, nerves coming alive with every inch of unmarked space. He finally moved his eyes down to the marks on your thighs, his marks. 
Pride. Pride wasn’t a new feeling to Sunghoon, but he swears he’d never felt it this strong. He was almost happy that you were left unmarked, he didn’t even want to think about how he’d react to seeing proof of another man’s hands touching you. 
Sure he was furious that you weren’t getting the pleasure you deserved, but Sunghoon could give you all that and more. He’d give you anything, even if it meant sharing you with three of his friends. 
“Why didn’t you come to me?” He knew he had to ask now because if he didn’t then he wouldn’t ever build himself to. 
Your expression became guarded, lips pulling closed at his hurt tone. “What do you mean?” Sunghoon froze, did you not know?
You watched his reaction, the way he retracted into himself. “With your needs, I could’ve helped you.” He tried regaining his confidence, squaring his shoulders as he stood taller. 
“You wouldn’t have to fake it with me.” Ah, now you understood. A smirk rose on your lips, your hands moving on their own as you gripped his waist. 
“Are you sure? My other boys make me feel pretty good.” You stressed the last few words while your hands travelled further up his exposed torso- pressing against his lower stomach for a few seconds before tracing the lines between his flexed abs. 
Sunghoon hissed under his breath at your words, his eyes darkening at the mention of your former partners.
“The video didn’t seem very promising, we wouldn’t have you looking all neat, looking untouched.” It was then that Sunghoon realized the other boys were surrounding his other sides, their arms almost pressed against his. 
You looked up towards Heeseung, tilting your head with a fake pondering look, “A video?” He nodded once, his jaw clenched at your fake oblivious attitude. 
“And how did I look?” You wrapped your hand around Sunghoon’s, pulling it away from your neck. He took your action as a signal to move back, pulling his body from yours. 
All the boys stayed silent at your question- which was something that didn’t sit right with you. You looked at each of them before you landed on Jake, noting the way his cock twitched at your sudden attention. 
You turned your body to face him while ignoring all the other boys, your palm coming up to rest against his heaving chest. You made a show of trailing your finger across your collar bones, all the way up to your halter bikini top. 
“How did I look, Jakey?” A stuttered cough left his left the second your finger pulled at the knot, your top now dangling around your rib cage, your breast completely exposed. 
“I didn’t do this, did I?” You grabbed his wrists, moving his hands to press your breasts together. You contorted your expression into one of pleasure, your lips dramatically dropping open as you pretended to choke on your words. 
Jake shook his head to the side, his body moving on autopilot as he calculated his next moves. 
“No, but I think you knew that.” You pursed your lips while shaking your head at him, nose scrunching up in annoyance. “I didn't see the video, you did.”
Heeseung reacted before anyone else, his hand grabbing your arm to pull you towards your bed. 
“You’ve been bratty all night, clearly no one’s taught you to behave.” Heeseung pushed you flat against the bed, his knee pressing flesh against your sensitive pussy. You let out a loud mewl, your back arching into his knee. “I think you need to teach me again.” Your head flew back when you began moving your hips against him, his knee providing the perfect pressure against your swollen clit. 
Heeseung kept his arms crossed across his chest, expression unmoving as you used his knee to get off. Your whimpers had a clear effect on both Jay and Jake, both of their hands wrapped around their exposed cocks as they jerked themselves off at the sight. 
“P- please help, it doesn’t feel as good without someone’s help.” You blubbered out a beg, your lips pouting together while your lash line filled with unshed tears. Your desperation was clear, your hips stuttering against the bed due to the lack of pressure. 
“Aw look at you, a slutty baby who can’t do anything by herself.” Sunghoon cooed from over Heeseung’s shoulder, his hand holding onto his shoulder as he watched the way you rubbed against Heeseung. 
“But pathetic cry babies don’t deserve help, do they?” You rapidly shook your head, plethoras of different disagreements leaving your lips. 
“But you’re not a crybaby.” Jake joined into the taunting, kid body weighing you down as he kneeled to your side. His hands reached over to rub across your cheeks, his fingers catching your salty tears. You nodded your head, eyes wide with excitement thinking that at least one of them was on your side.
“So stop fucking crying.” His harsh words were still sung with the same cooing tone, his gentle hands contradicting their speech.
“M’not crying, not a baby.” Jake nodded along to your words, repeating them back to you once before he turned his head to look at the two boys standing above you. 
They both nodded toward Jay, who was still standing on the right side of the bed- opposite to Jake. Jake gave the other boy a single once-over before he nodded back at the other two. 
Jake placed a small kiss against the apple of your cheek, your salty tears sticking to his skin before stood up from his position. You, who read the situation wrong, began repeating your small sorrys. Apologies slipped from your mouth in a slobbly mantra, your desperate attempt to be touched once again. 
“You’re sorry?” It was a rhetorical question, but still- you answered. Heeseung took charge once again, his hand pressing against your knee- rubbing small circles into it. 
“Prove it to us.”
Jay, who removed his trunks at the door, crawled onto the bed beside you. He sat in the center of the bed, right above your head. “Make Jay feel good, show him how much you need him.”
You didn’t waste another second before you turned to your stomach, your ass pressed in the air as you arched towards the other boys. Your hand wrapped around Jay, your tongue peaking out to give small kitten licks to his tip.
Jay bit his lip in anticipation, his feet twitching by his side with each small touch. His head was filled with nothing but you, the thoughts of you. 
His nightly thoughts were finally getting played out, the warmth of your lips millimetres away from him drove him insane. But he wasn’t the only one growing desperate, the sharp smack against your ass laying it down. 
“Giving him those pathetic licks won’t do anything, even Sunghoon could do better.” Heeseung tutted, his hand smacking you once before before he pressed his hand flat against your upper back, pushing you closer to Jay. 
“What the fuck?” Sunghoon glared at Heeseung for adding his name, to which he just gave him an exasperated look. “You were the one practicing making out with Jake earlier, not me.”
Both named boys looked away, their cheeks burning bright red. “Whatever.” Sunghoon scoffed, his shyness still coming in full force as he recalled the way he reacted earlier. 
Their almost argument was cut off at the gasp Jay let out, all three of them watching the way his face pulled up in pleasure. Heeseung never thought that he’d enjoy watching another man’s reaction to getting their dick sucked, but he also never thought that he’d be sharing someone with three of his friends. 
The sounds coming from your lips were downright disgusting, slurps mixed with the occasional gag- but in a way, you’ve never sounded better. 
Heeseung could see the way Jake was stopping himself from stroking too much- not wanting to cum anywhere but in you. Sunghoon noticed it too, his small snickers catching the Australian boys attention. 
Jake’s jaw dropped when both boys stepped back, allowing Jake to take their place. He waited a few seconds, making sure that he was actually catching what they were throwing- and not making it up in his head. 
He got his answer in the way the boys moved on either side of the bed, Heeseung’s hand resting against Jake’s shoulder when he stepped beside him.
Heeseung gave him a small nudge, pushing him towards your legs. He gave a reassuring nod with a tight-lipped smile, and that was all Jake needed. 
“Comdom?” Heeseung leaned forward to meet your eyes, his question heavy in the air. Sunghoon stood with bated breath as he waited for your response, his chest blowing out when you finally shook your head. 
Jake knew you were spread enough, having been the one to stretch you out by the pool. And you certainly were wet enough, but even that couldn’t stop him from spitting on his palm- rubbing it across his entire dick. 
He used one hand to push your back into a further arch, the other wrapped around his base as he lined himself up. The second his tip entered you the tiniest bit- he pauses.
If this was going to be the only time he got to have you, why not savour it all? He removed his hand from his base but instead used it to spread your lips out. 
He got the full effect, watching the way your tight hole sucked him in- gripping him. His groan rolled from his mouth once he bottomed out, his balls slapping against you once before he pulled back out, slamming in harder the second time. 
Both of his hands were now gripping your hips, his short nails making half-moons across your skin as he repeatedly pulled you back into him.
You saw stars, the stimulation feeling like nothing before. You weren’t sure if you could ever go back to only fucking one person, not when two people against you felt this good. 
A cock in your mouth and one in your pussy, heaven. They were fucking ruining you, and you loved every moment of it. 
You felt the way Jay was getting closer, his noises growing quieter the longer he held his breath. You reached your hand under your chin, massaging his balls with one hand while the other pressed down on his pubic bone for stabilization.
You completely removed him from your lips, your tongue sticking out as you trailed it across his most prominent vein, curling it once around the tip before you swooped back down. You replaced your hand with your mouth, sucking his balls into your mouth while your hand twisted along the length. 
You used one finger to press against the slit on his tip, pressing it down. His hips shot forward, a loud moan breaking from his lips at the sensitivity. 
As quickly as you did that, you switched again. Your mouth sunk back down onto him, holding your breath as you held him deep in your throat. 
A second after he let out a pitchy breath, he released in your mouth. Usually, the taste of cum didn’t bother you. Sure it was usually bitter, but after a while, you just learned to ignore it. 
And maybe Jay tasted similar, but he tasted so different. He was addicting, every part of him. And it was for that reason that you didn’t pull away, why you kept going even when his body began twitching beneath you. It’s why you went faster when his broken pleads turned into inaudible sounds. It was why you swallowed around him a second time, swallowing everything he had to give you. Except this time, you held it in your mouth. 
You pulled off of him, his cum still in your mouth. You looked up towards Sunghoon, his eyes widening when you gestured to him to get closer. 
And maybe if you weren’t so fucking hot, then maybe he wouldn’t have complied. Maybe he wouldn’t have opened his mouth, allowing you to spit it into his own. Maybe he wouldn’t have listened to your next orders, but god, you were so fucking hot. 
“Share it with Jake.” They all knew what you meant, and at Jake’s small nod, they all knew exactly. what. you. meant. 
“Holy shit-” Jay’s jaw was on the ground as he watched his friends share his cum between their lips, their tongues twisting together as it grew more intense. 
If Jake’s thrusts meant anything, then you knew that he more than liked it. He loved it. 
“Sunghoon, join Jake.” Your head snapped over to Heeseung, your eyes wide as his words processed in your head. Heeseung ignored your look, staring dead into Sunghoon’s eyes. “I don’t think she’s proved herself yet, one cock in her clearly isn’t enough.” 
The next minute was a blur. One second you were arched into Jake, and the other you were sat on his lap with your legs wrapped around Sunghoon’s waist- his cock inches from you.
Heeseung’s fingers were pressed deep into your ass, the spilled lube coating Jake’s lower stomach. After the third finger, Heeseung decided you were stretched enough.  
Heeseung helped holding you up, your arms wrapped around his shoulders as he lowered you onto Jake. Your arms tightened hard around him, your eyes falling closed at the new feeling of having someone pushing into you from the back. 
You’ve tried many things, but anal definitely wasn’t one. 
“Relax, let him in,” Heeseung whispered into your ear, one of his hands rubbing circles into your back. You did what he said, letting go of all the tension in your lower body.
It didn’t take very long for Jake to bottom out, time blurring together due to your hyperfocus on the unknown feeling. “You did s’good.” Heeseung pecked your ear once before he released you, raising his hands to pull your arms off of him. 
You put your arms on Jake’s side, holding him for stability. He took two steps back, still close enough to pull you away if you showed any discomfort. 
The first few thrusts felt weird, the pleasure yet to come. But once it came, it came fast. Your back arched as your head fell back, your lips gaping open. 
Your legs tightened around Sunghoon’s waist, pulling him closer. “P-please-“ you begged through broken moans, your desperation clawing at your chest.
You weren’t entirely sure what you were begging for, but you knew whatever Sunghoon gave you would help. He hesitated for a minute after he lined himself up, his worries of hurting you replacing his neediness for a split second.
It was a split second too long, long enough for you to reach one hand forward and pull his hips into you. Both Jake and Sunghoon paused at the feeling, Jake’s stomach tightening under your hold. 
Sunghoon’s expression was nothing if not pure bliss, his eyes half open, his mouth wide as he let out heavy exhales. His rosy cheeks seemed extra pigmented, his wet bangs hanging over his forehead when his head fell forward. 
The sensations that you were all feeling were so intense- to the point where the three of you stopped breathing. 
The feeling of two cocks in you was something you could never explain, nothing compared. 
And for the boys? The mixture of the tightness and the groves of another dick against theirs? Insane, but so delicious. 
Sunghoon was the first to start moving, his hesitant thrusts causing butterflies to erupt on all three of your stomachs. 
Once Sunghoon found his tempo, Jake began moving to watch it. Your head was completely empty, your mind focused on nothing but the feeling of them entering and exiting you.
Sunghoon leaned forward towards you, wrapping his lips around one of your nipples while the other one played with the other. His moves were slightly sloppy, imprecise pinches and nibbles alternating between each tit. 
Heeseung noticed it right away, his hand coming out to shoo Sunghoon away with a harsh glare. “If you’re not going to do it right, don’t fucking do it at all.” His lips relaxed Sunghoon’s, the difference between the two more obvious than not.
Your chest arched into Heeseung’s mouth, his eyes fluttering closed as he trailed a line of kisses between each breast, small hickeys getting left at random. 
Jay, feeling left out, moved forward to join. He was already as hard as he was when you started, the sight before him nearly sending him into a spiral.
His hand reached down to circle around your clit, his finger never once directly touching it- he knew no one wanted it to end yet. 
It was clear to the four boys when you got close, your body responding to all their touches differently. Jay now allowed his fingers to make contact, fast circles setting your nerves on fire. 
Sunghoon pushed his hand against your stomach, feeling his cock kiss his palm with every push. The bugs made his fantasies come out, images of you swollen with his kids chasing his hips to push in further. 
His primal instincts won against the rational side of his brain, the desire to fill you up feeling stronger than ever. Realistically, he knew you wouldn’t fall pregnant. The plan b pills and your birth control were proof enough, but it didn’t hurt to pretend- right? 
It was then that he remembered the entire reason why they were doing this. It was to prove a point, wasn’t it? And that’s when he got a great idea, one that made complete sense in his half-conscious brain. 
The other man gave proof, shouldn’t they return the favour? His phone was forgotten by the poolside, same with Jake’s.
He had almost lost hope until his eyes caught your phone on your bedside, his eyes lighting up in relief. “Pass me that phone.” Heeseung did what he was asked without question, his lips, which were now attached to yours, stayed unmoving while he reached over. 
He blindly grabbed at the table, taking the first thing that felt like the phone. He’d passed it to Sunghoon- who accepted it right away. 
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the unfamiliar phone, whose was this? 
He knew you didn’t get a new one, having texted you yesterday asking to hang out- to which you cancelled. 
So whose phone was this? Upon noticing that it was shut down, he quickly powered it on. The screen was blank for a second before messages came flooding in. 
No fucking way. 
You let out a muffled moan at Sunghoon’s sudden harsh trust, Heeseung’s lips still moving against yours. 
And at the same time the cameras clicked, you came. 
All four boys panted around you, two of them releasing inside of you right after you finished. Sunghoon ignored the phone for now, tossing it to the side as he pushed himself as deep as he could- holding his hips in place. Even when Heeseung helped Jake pull out, Sunghoon stayed- plugging your cunt full, refusing to let a drop out.
“Switch? I promise I won’t let it leak out.” Heeseung knew exactly what to say to get Sunghoon to move, and it worked every time. 
Sunghoon and Jake stepped back, allowing the other two to take their place. Sunghoon zoned out while Heeseung and Jay situated themselves, choosing the position they wanted you in. 
Now that he was in a slightly better mindset, the images from the phone came rolling back in.
Why the hell were you getting the messages they’d sent in that group chat? There was no one else in the group except for them and the random number. 
It was nearly impossible for you to get those messages unless you were that random number. Sunghoon raised his eyes back towards you, then to the phone, then back to you.
He noticed that you’d seen him make the connection, and you smiled. Naivety was one game that you had mastered from an early age, it was about time they caught on.
4K notes · View notes
pucksandpower · 2 months ago
Text
Rumour Has It
Franco Colapinto x Princess of Norway!Reader
Summary: you’ve never heard of Franco before and Franco has certainly never heard of you … but when gossip magazines decide to set you two up, Franco realizes that he wouldn’t mind making the rumors a reality
Tumblr media
“Have you seen this?” Noora says, bursting into your study with a tablet clutched to her chest, her eyes wide and frantic.
You look up, half-expecting the sky to have fallen or for Oslo to be under siege. “Seen what?”
Noora slams the tablet down on your desk, and your face is met with a tabloid headline in bold, obnoxious letters: Norway’s Princess Caught in Secret Romance with Argentinian Racing Prodigy Franco Colapinto!
You blink at the screen, then back at Noora, and then at the screen again, as if maybe the headline might rearrange itself into something more sensible. “Sorry, who?”
“Franco Colapinto!” She says, exasperated. “The Argentine driver — the rookie! In Formula 1!”
You tilt your head. “I don’t know who that is.”
Noora gives you a look that’s somewhere between sympathy and horror. “Okay, well, apparently you’re dating him. And half of Norway seems to think so too, thanks to this article.”
“Dating? Noora, I’ve never even heard of him, let alone met him! And this … this is nonsense!” You shove the tablet back at her, feeling your cheeks flush. “How did this even happen?”
Noora sighs, sliding the tablet away. “It’s the internet. They don’t need facts to build a story — they just need a blurry photo and a wild imagination.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, exhaling sharply. “And why didn’t anyone tell me sooner? It’s not like we don’t have a whole team for this.”
“Well, to be fair, it only surfaced last night,” she says, crossing her arms. “But now it’s all over social media, and your name is attached to his. People are actually talking about you two as if you’re the new royal couple.”
Your stomach does an uncomfortable flip. You’ve spent years cultivating a careful, respectable image — a modern princess who’s still traditional enough to respect the expectations placed on her. And now, you’re supposedly dating a race car driver?
“What exactly are they saying?” You ask, your voice quieter, laced with dread.
Noora hesitates, but you give her a pointed look until she relents. “They’re saying you met him at some secret event in Monaco and that you’ve been hiding your relationship to avoid the media frenzy. Apparently, he’s been visiting Norway on his off-days just to see you.” She snorts. “It’s absurd, really. But people are eating it up.”
You stare at her, your pulse thrumming in your ears. “This cannot be happening.”
“Oh, but it is. And the comments …” She trails off, biting her lip.
“Out with it, Noora.”
She sighs. “Some are saying it’s refreshing that you’re dating someone so … I don’t know, normal. But others …” She winces. “Others think it’s irresponsible. That you’re … well, neglecting your duty for some glamorous fling.”
You take a shaky breath, willing yourself to stay calm. “Neglecting my duty,” you repeat, more to yourself than to her. “Because I’m apparently sneaking off with some Formula 1 driver I’ve never even met.”
“I know,” she says, reaching out and giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “But it’ll pass. A few days, maybe a week, and they’ll have moved on to the next scandal.”
You close your eyes for a moment, trying to imagine it blowing over. “And what if it doesn’t?”
“Then we get PR involved. Make a statement, deny everything.” She pauses, eyeing you with a wary smile. “Or, you know, we could just arrange a very public appearance with you and someone else. Nothing quashes rumors like a little royal romance with a suitable partner.”
Your eyes snap open. “Noora.”
She grins, unphased by your glare. “What? It’s an option.”
“I’m not going to parade around with someone just to make the tabloids happy,” you say, crossing your arms.
“Well, that leaves us with the boring option: addressing it head-on, squashing the rumor, and hoping it dies quickly.”
“That will just make it worse,” you sigh resignedly. “The press will think any denial means we have something to hide.”
Noora nods, still eyeing you cautiously. “You could always lean into it a little — make it sound mysterious.”
“Mysterious?” You echo. “No, Noora. I want it gone. I don’t even know this man!”
“All right, all right,” she concedes, hands raised in surrender. “But you know, you could at least look him up.”
You narrow your eyes. “Why would I do that?”
“Because people are going to be asking questions. You’re the Princess of Norway. If they think you’re dating him, it would help to know who he is.”
You open your mouth to argue, but she’s already pulling out her phone. “Just … humor me, okay? It’ll take two seconds.”
She taps her screen, and suddenly a series of photos pops up — images of a young man with dark hair and a serious expression, usually in some variation of a racing suit, often holding a helmet. He’s smiling in one photo, a faint smirk in another, but the confident gleam in his eyes is unmistakable.
“He’s twenty-one,” Noora says, scrolling through some text. “Started karting young, worked his way up. Got his big break with Formula 1 this year.”
You try not to look interested, but it’s hard to ignore the pictures flashing by. He has a kind of easy charisma, that much is obvious.
“And look,” she adds, holding up a picture of him on the track, eyes focused, mouth set in a determined line. “He’s pretty talented, apparently.”
You shake your head, forcing yourself to look away. “None of this matters. Because I don’t know him, and I’m certainly not dating him.”
Noora smirks. “Doesn’t matter. The media thinks you are, and as far as they’re concerned, that makes it practically true.”
You groan, sinking back in your chair. “So what do I do?”
“For now? Sit tight, let PR work their magic. But you might want to brush up on your Formula 1 knowledge, just in case anyone asks.” She grins, clearly enjoying your discomfort. “Wouldn’t want you to sound unprepared.”
You roll your eyes, reaching for the tablet and skimming the article’s ridiculous details. “He brought me roses on the first date?” You mutter, incredulous. “We had a secret dinner at a villa on the Côte d’Azur? Do they just make this up?”
“Pretty much. And it’s only going to get worse if people keep sharing it.”
You rub your temples, trying to banish the lingering image of Franco’s cocky smile from your mind. “Fantastic. Just what I needed — a fake romance with a twenty-one-year-old race car driver.”
Noora pats your shoulder sympathetically. “Could be worse.”
“How, exactly?”
“It could be real.”
***
Franco is hunched over his phone, scrolling mindlessly through his notifications as he waits for his PR briefing to start. The Williams headquarters is bustling this morning, and he barely notices when the door opens until Abbie, his PR officer, strides in, her expression uncharacteristically serious.
“Franco, we need to talk,” she says, folding her arms.
He glances up, one eyebrow raised. “Am I in trouble already? That’s got to be a record.”
Abbie sighs. “No, you’re not in trouble. But you’re in … let’s call it a situation.” She pulls up a chair across from him, lowering her voice as if sharing state secrets. “Have you seen the news?”
“Can’t say I have,” he replies, half-interested. “What, did Carlos suddenly decide to retire and I get to keep my seat for next season?”
Abbie doesn’t laugh, which is a bit worrying. Instead, she hands him her phone, showing a screen filled with a tabloid headline. Princess Y/N of Norway in Secret Romance with F1’s Newest Rising Star, Franco Colapinto!
His brows furrow as he reads, slowly, taking in the headline, the photos, the fabricated “romantic details.”
“Wait … I’m dating a princess?” He says, breaking into a grin. “And nobody thought to tell me?”
Abbie sighs. “Apparently. They’ve got edited photos, fake details — everything.”
He leans back, intrigued. “Princess Y/N,” he muses, tapping his chin with a thoughtful smirk. “Of Norway?”
“Yes, of Norway.” She leans in closer, her expression serious. “This has gone viral, Franco. Everyone’s talking about it.”
He can’t resist; he grabs his own phone and taps out “Princess Y/N of Norway.” The first few links are about her background, her position in the line of succession. “So, she’s next in line to be queen or something?”
“Second in line,” Abbie corrects. “After her father. She’s a pretty big deal over there.”
Franco’s eyes sparkle with interest. “Second in line. And she’s what … like, forty?”
“Not even close,” Abbie says, exasperated. “She’s around your age, I think. She’s twenty-something.”
Franco looks at her, skeptical. “Twenty-something? And a princess?” He scrolls through images of palaces, state functions, and some photos of you smiling politely at dignitaries. She’s dressed elegantly, impeccably, not a hair out of place.
Then, finally, he finds one candid shot, and he stops scrolling. You’re laughing in the photo, a little windswept, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, your smile bright and entirely un-royal. He smirks.
“All right, all right,” he mutters to himself, still looking at the photo. “She’s pretty cute.” He taps back to the headline with a glint of amusement in his eye. “But still not a MILF.”
Abbie groans. “You’re impossible.”
He shrugs, still looking delighted. “Come on. You know my type. I like them older. But …” He trails off, grinning wider. “I could certainly do worse.”
“You’re not actually considering this, are you?” Abbie says, horrified. “Franco, this is a fake rumor. You’re supposed to be distancing yourself from it.”
“Oh, I know. I know.” He holds up his hands in mock surrender. “But it’s kind of funny, isn’t it? Me, a royal boyfriend?” He leans back, arms crossed, still smirking. “I’m almost flattered.”
Abbie sighs and taps her own phone, clearly typing something in response to the rest of the Williams PR team. “Look, flattered or not, you need to be careful. She’s a public figure. If you say the wrong thing, it’ll just fuel the fire.”
“Oh, please,” he says, waving a hand. “What are they gonna do? Put me on trial?”
“Maybe not you,” Abbie replies, giving him a warning look, “but she has an image to protect. This isn’t just gossip for her — it’s her whole life.”
He lets out a low whistle, thinking. “Must be hard, huh? Everyone expecting you to act a certain way. Not much room for fun.”
Abbie eyes him, her expression softening a bit. “I’m sure it is. Which is why we need to treat this carefully.”
Franco glances back at the photos, his smile fading a bit as he considers. He may not know you, but he can picture the situation well enough: the relentless tabloids, the public judgment, all the expectations.
“All right, fine,” he says, finally. “What’s the plan?”
She breathes a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I’ll be working with her team to prepare a statement. The usual ‘there’s no truth to these rumors’ line. But until then, keep it low-key.”
He raises a brow. “Low-key? Since when have I ever been low-key?”
“Then try for once.” She gives him a pleading look. “It’ll help her out. Trust me.”
Franco nods, though there’s a spark of amusement still flickering in his eyes. He can’t help it — he’s never been one to turn down a little excitement, and this whole thing is exactly that. He glances at Abbie. “So … if someone were to ask about it …”
She narrows her eyes. “Franco. Don’t even think about it.”
He chuckles. “Relax. I’ll be good.”
But as he heads back to the simulator, he can’t resist a smirk.
***
The meeting room is far more understated than you would’ve expected for something of this scale, tucked away in a discreet corner of a private suite in a London hotel. But it’s neutral ground, and it’s quiet, and no one outside this room will ever have to know about this awkward collision of worlds.
You’re early, of course. You’ve been pacing for the last ten minutes, scrolling through every frantic email your team has sent since this ridiculous rumor broke, trying to make sense of the tabloids’ spiraling narrative.
Franco arrives with a small entourage, though it feels like the entire room shifts the moment he steps in. He looks relaxed, perfectly at ease — too at ease. He catches your eye almost immediately, smirking as if he’s been waiting his whole life for this absurd situation to unfold.
“Princess,” he says, as if the word is a private joke just for the two of you. He holds out his hand, that ever-present glint of mischief in his eyes.
You don’t take it, instead clearing your throat and nodding a polite, “Mr. Colapinto.”
He drops his hand, unfazed. “Mr. Colapinto? Ouch. I thought we were past formalities, what with the whole secret romance thing.”
You stare, unamused, but he only laughs, taking a seat at the conference table across from you. He leans back, stretching his arms over the back of his chair, entirely too comfortable.
Abbie enters behind him, followed by Noora and two more of your advisors, who exchange a brief look with you before giving Franco a wary glance. The room feels divided: your side tense, professional; his side relaxed, as if they’re here for afternoon tea.
Noora clears her throat. “Thank you all for coming. We’re here to discuss … the situation between Her Royal Highness and Mr. Colapinto.”
Franco raises his hand like a schoolboy. “Just Franco’s fine.”
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. “I think it’s important that we treat this with the gravity it deserves.”
“Right,” Franco says, his tone playful. “Like a royal summit.”
Ignoring him, you turn to Noora. “What’s our best option? A joint statement? Something definitive?”
Noora nods, producing a folder from her bag. “Yes, we think a mutual statement from both parties would be the most effective way to dispel the rumors. The tone should be clear, respectful, and leave no room for interpretation.”
Franco grins at you. “So, no room for romance?”
You bite back a sigh. “Exactly.”
He leans forward, resting his chin on his hand as if studying you. “Pity. I thought we made a pretty good pair.”
You shift in your seat, folding your hands tightly in front of you. “This isn’t a joke. It’s an issue of public perception, protocol-”
“Protocol,” he repeats, as if tasting the word. “Can’t say I’m big on protocol. Haven’t you heard? I’m dating a princess now. Practically makes me royalty, right? Protocol doesn’t apply to me.”
You shoot him a pointed look. “Protocol applies to everyone.”
“Boring people,” he counters, grinning wider. “Which, by the way, you are not. I don’t buy it.”
You feel your cheeks flush. “I don’t think you understand the stakes here.”
“Oh, I understand perfectly. But, come on …” He gestures to the small group of advisors around the table. “Look at this! Two teams acting like we’re two PR disasters waiting to happen … it’s ridiculous. You would think we were in the middle of an international scandal.”
“We are in the middle of an international scandal,” you say, exasperated. “People think we’re dating. It’s a breach of public trust for both of us-”
He snorts. “You’re talking like I’m some kind of international criminal. Come on, Princess. It’s just a rumor.”
“It’s more than that,” you insist, struggling to keep your voice steady. “This rumor reflects on me, on my family. On Norway.”
He watches you, head tilted, a glint of something unreadable in his eyes. “And do you care?”
You frown, feeling that flush creep back to your cheeks. “Of course I care.”
“No, I mean, do you care about it — us? I mean, the rumor?”
There’s something disarming in the way he says it, like he’s testing you. You can’t help but hesitate, your well-rehearsed words slipping just out of reach.
“It’s my duty,” you finally say, straightening your shoulders, “to uphold my family’s reputation.”
He doesn’t seem impressed. Instead, he shakes his head, a bemused smile on his lips. “You’re so serious. Makes me think I really did pick the right princess.”
Noora coughs, clearly eager to refocus the meeting. “Let’s discuss the actual statement, shall we?”
You nod, relieved to move on, but Franco holds up a hand, eyes still locked on yours. “I just want to say, for the record … I don’t think I’d mind the rumors, if they were true.”
There’s a moment of silence, thick and uncomfortable. You can feel the curious stares of your team, the surprise on Noora’s face, the quiet snickers from Franco’s side.
“Mr. Colapinto,” you say carefully, “this is neither the time nor place for that kind of … remark.”
He shrugs, unbothered. “Who decides that?”
Noora jumps in. “We do. And as such, we have a preliminary draft we’d like to review with both of you. It’s brief and to the point, which is important.”
Abbie leans in, already reading over the statement. “The recent reports of a romantic relationship between Princess Y/N and Franco Colapinto are entirely false and without merit. Both parties are focused on their respective roles and responsibilities and have not been involved in any way that would support these rumors.” She looks up, pleased with herself.
You give an approving nod, glancing at Franco. “Short and factual. Perfect.”
Franco frowns, leaning back in his chair with an exaggerated sigh. “It’s a little … cold, don’t you think?”
“That’s the point,” you say flatly. “We’re supposed to be shutting down the rumors, not fueling them.”
He lifts an eyebrow, eyes gleaming. “How about something more like … while I have great respect for Princess Y/N and have enjoyed our time together, I can confirm that we are, unfortunately, just friends?”
You look at him, horrified. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Oh, come on.” He gives you a devilish grin. “It’s all about the narrative, Princess. People want romance, intrigue. You’re literal royalty — give them a little fairytale.”
You feel your cheeks burn, and it takes everything you have not to snap back at him. “This isn’t some soap opera, Mr. Colapinto.”
“Franco,” he corrects, eyes still dancing with mischief.
Noora clears her throat again. “I think it’s best we stick with the original statement.”
He gives you a mockingly solemn nod. “As you wish, Your Highness.”
You give a small, exasperated sigh, looking back to Noora and Abbie. “If we’re all agreed, can we proceed?”
Abbie glances between you and Franco, as if gauging the tension in the air. “Yes. We’ll finalize the statement this evening and have it released tomorrow morning.”
Franco pushes back his chair, rising to his feet. “Well, I suppose that settles it, then.” He glances down at you, his gaze lingering a bit too long. “Shame, though. This could’ve been fun.”
You fold your arms, giving him a pointed look. “We have very different definitions of fun.”
“Clearly,” he says, his smirk deepening. “But tell me, don’t you ever get tired of all this?” He gestures around at the meeting room, the stacks of paperwork, the solemn faces of your advisors. “The rules, the protocol. Doesn’t it get … dull?”
You purse your lips, resisting the temptation to give him a real answer. “It’s my duty.”
He tilts his head, his expression softening just slightly. “I get duty. But where’s the fun?”
You open your mouth to respond, but the words don’t come. And for a second, just a second, you wonder if he has a point.
Franco’s gaze sharpens as he watches you struggle to respond. And then, to your utter shock, he steps closer, his hand reaching for yours. “Here,” he says, with that sly, teasing smile.
Before you can pull away, he lifts your hand, bringing it to his lips in a slow, deliberate gesture. His eyes hold yours as he brushes his mouth over your knuckles, lingering just long enough to make you feel the heat creeping up your face.
“I promise,” he murmurs, voice low and smooth, “the next time I kiss you, Princess, it’ll be somewhere much more pleasurable.”
You pull your hand back, heart pounding, but he only grins, unbothered, and gives you a playful wink.
“Until next time, Your Highness.”
***
The bar is dimly lit, tucked away on a quiet street where no one knows who you are and, more importantly, no one cares. It’s the perfect place to slip away from the weight of your title, from the headlines, from the rules and the statement that your team is probably drafting up at this very moment. For once, you just want to sit here, nursing a drink, and pretend you’re anyone else.
The whiskey burns as it goes down, but it’s a welcome distraction. You let out a breath, easing back against the bar, feeling some of the tension in your shoulders release. For the first time all day, no one is watching, no one is whispering. You’re just … here.
Until a voice slides into the quiet like a warm breeze. “Didn’t think I’d find royalty in a place like this.”
You don’t even need to look to know it’s him. You don’t turn, but your grip on the glass tightens as Franco slides onto the stool beside you, looking annoyingly pleased with himself.
“What are you doing here?” You ask, not bothering to mask the exasperation in your voice.
“Me?” He says, all innocence. “Just having a drink. Same as you.” He signals the bartender. “Tequila,” he says, then nods at your glass, smirking. “And whatever she’s having.”
You sigh. “Of all the bars in London, you had to pick this one?”
He grins, shameless. “Maybe I just have good taste.”
You roll your eyes. “Highly doubtful.”
He chuckles, unfazed. “Come on, Princess. I know you’re thrilled to see me.”
“Thrilled isn’t exactly the word I’d use.”
He leans in, his voice dropping low enough that it feels like a secret. “What would you use, then?”
You pause, taking a sip of your drink as you consider. “Mildly inconvenienced.”
He laughs at that, a warm, genuine sound that catches you off guard. You try to keep your face impassive, but there’s something disarming about his laughter, something that makes you wonder why it feels like he’s always able to unravel you with so little effort.
“Fine,” he says, leaning his elbow on the bar, mirroring your posture. “Then I’ll just sit here, mildly inconveniencing you until you admit you’re enjoying yourself.”
You scoff. “That’s not going to happen.”
His whiskey arrives, and he raises his glass, clinking it lightly against yours. “Care to bet on that?”
You raise an eyebrow. “Do you always think everything’s a game?”
“Only when it’s fun,” he says, his gaze dropping to your lips. There’s something undeniably bold about the way he watches you, something that sends a little thrill down your spine despite yourself.
You hold his gaze, refusing to back down. “What exactly do you think you’re doing here?”
“I thought that was obvious,” he says, his voice turning softer, more intimate. “I’m trying to get to know you.”
You snort. “Get to know me? I’m pretty sure you just want to use this as an excuse to fuel the rumors.”
“Maybe the rumors are more interesting than you think,” he counters smoothly, sipping his drink. “Or maybe I’m just curious.”
“Curious?” You echo, lifting an eyebrow. “About what?”
“About what a princess does when no one’s watching.” His eyes flash with that familiar glint, and he gives you a lazy, unapologetic smile. “And so far, you don’t disappoint.”
You laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “If you’re trying to charm me, it’s not working.”
“Oh, I don’t need to try,” he says, his voice soft but self-assured. “I just do.”
You shake your head, determined not to let him win this little game. “I don’t think you’re as irresistible as you think you are.”
“Maybe.” He tilts his head, studying you with an infuriating level of focus. “But you’re still here, aren’t you?”
Your retort dies on your lips as his hand moves closer, resting just on the edge of the bar, fingers inching toward yours. It’s subtle, but it sends a pulse of awareness up your arm, and you’re suddenly very aware of how close he is, the warmth radiating from him, the intensity of his gaze as it lingers on you.
You straighten, clearing your throat. “So what’s your endgame here, Franco?”
“No endgame,” he says easily, but there’s a promise in his tone, a flicker in his eyes that makes it hard to believe. “Just wanted a drink with a pretty princess.”
You almost laugh. Almost. “You’re insufferable, you know that?”
“Is that why you’re smiling?” He asks, leaning closer.
You hadn’t realized you were. You quickly straighten your face, but he’s already noticed, that knowing smirk widening as he takes another sip of his drink.
“Relax, Princess. You’re allowed to have fun, too.”
“Define fun,” you say, though you’re painfully aware that you’re actually enjoying this little back-and-forth. It’s dangerous, exhilarating — two things you never let yourself indulge in.
“Fun?” He tilts his head, eyes sparkling. “Fun is you, sitting here, pretending you don’t like me, while secretly hoping I’ll keep talking.”
You roll your eyes. “Delusional.”
“Maybe,” he says, and his hand moves again — this time, resting casually on your thigh under the bar. The touch is light, but it’s enough to make your breath hitch, enough to make you momentarily forget the carefully constructed boundaries you’ve set.
“Franco,” you warn, though your voice is less steady than you’d like.
He raises an eyebrow, his fingers tracing a slow, almost absentminded circle against your leg. “Problem?”
You don’t answer, but he takes your silence as permission, his fingers edging just a little higher, teasingly close, as if he’s daring you to stop him. And you should. You know you should. But for some reason, you don’t.
He leans in, his breath warm against your ear. “Tell me to stop, Princess. And I will.”
Your mind races, every sensible thought colliding with the thrill that’s building inside you. You swallow, feeling the weight of his gaze, the heat of his touch.
“Why would I tell you to stop,” you say quietly, your voice barely more than a whisper, “if I don’t want you to?”
He grins, satisfied. “Now we’re getting somewhere.”
Before you can respond, he’s closing the distance, his hand slipping higher under your dress, his thumb brushing slow circles that make your heart race. It’s reckless and wild and nothing you’d ever thought you’d do — but in this moment, it feels impossible to resist.
The next few minutes are a blur of whispered words and stolen glances, your resolve slipping with every soft touch, every cocky grin he throws your way. You barely register the decision to leave the bar until you’re outside, standing on the quiet street, the night air cool against your flushed skin.
“Your place or mine?” He asks, his voice a playful drawl.
You hesitate, a thousand reasons to walk away tumbling through your mind. But when you look at him — at that unrelenting confidence, the challenge in his eyes — you feel your control waver. Just this once, you tell yourself. Just this once, you’ll let yourself break the rules.
“Yours,” you say, surprised at the steadiness of your voice.
He doesn’t waste a second, taking your hand and leading you down the street, his grip warm and solid, grounding you even as your heart races. You follow him, pulse pounding with each step, until you’re standing outside his hotel room door, the reality of what you’re doing hitting you in a rush.
But then he’s looking at you again, that mischievous smile softening into something more intimate, and your doubts fade. He opens the door, and you step inside, feeling as though you’re crossing some invisible line.
The room is dim, the city lights casting a faint glow through the windows. He steps closer, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle, almost reverent, and for a moment, you see a different side of him — something softer, deeper.
“Last chance to change your mind,” he murmurs, his voice low.
You meet his gaze, feeling the weight of his words. But instead of answering, you lean up, closing the distance between you, your lips brushing against his in a kiss that’s tentative at first, then deepening as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you close.
And for the first time in as long as you can remember, you don’t think about duty, or protocol, or anything else. In this moment, there’s only you and him and the quiet thrill of finally letting go.
***
francolapinto
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Liked by f1wagupdates, royalwatchers, and 714,925 others
francolapinto all the rumours are true
View all 3,816 comments
pintobean everyone called me crazy for believing the articles but look who’s laughing now!
coca-colapinto because as much as i love franco, there’s no way i was about to believe he could’ve pulled a whole ass princess
pintobean this is a lesson not to underestimate his rizz
coca-colapinto please never say that unironically again
f1wagupdates pray for their PR teams, whatever they’re earning is not nearly enough 🙏
gridgossip franco had exactly nine races to turn the paddock upside down and boy did he not disappoint
f1wagupdates who needs an f1 seat in 2025 when you can have a throne?
***
The morning arrives far too soon, sunlight streaming through the hotel curtains and casting a warm glow over the rumpled sheets. You barely have time to blink yourself awake when a loud, frantic banging rattles the door, shaking you out of the haze of last night.
Franco groans beside you, his arm lazily draped over your waist. “You expecting someone?”
You’re too comfortable, too wrapped up in the warmth of his skin and the lingering bliss to even think straight. “Not … exactly.”
The pounding persists, and then voices — urgent, unmistakable voices — filter through the door. “Franco! Y/N! Are you in there? It’s urgent!”
Your eyes widen, a flash of panic cutting through the sleepiness. Franco doesn’t seem fazed. He barely lifts his head off the pillow, his hand lazily running down your spine as he mutters, “They’ll go away.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” You push yourself up slightly, glancing over the bed, finding discarded clothes and a vague sense of regret somewhere on the floor. The pounding grows louder, and finally, Franco sits up, rubbing his eyes, his hair adorably disheveled.
He stretches, glancing at you with a lazy grin. “What do you think? Just a few more minutes or …”
“Open the door!” Comes a familiar, exasperated voice from the hallway. You recognize it immediately — Noora.
Franco’s eyes meet yours, amusement glinting there. “Looks like we don’t have a choice.”
Reluctantly, he pulls himself out of bed, grabbing a pair of pants from the floor and slipping them on with a casual ease that only makes your heartbeat quicken. He tosses you a smirk over his shoulder before heading to the door.
As he opens it, a whirlwind of people floods into the room — Noora, Abbie, and a few more members of both your PR teams, all of them looking like they’re seconds away from losing their minds.
“Oh my god,” Noora gasps, her gaze darting between you and Franco, her face turning several shades of pink. “This … this is-”
“Completely reckless!” Abbie finishes, giving you a look that’s half shock, half scandalized admiration. “What were you two thinking?”
Franco crosses his arms, unfazed. “Good morning to you too.”
One of Williams’ other PR officers steps forward, looking ready to faint. “Franco, do you have any idea what you’ve done? Those photos … your Instagram …”
Franco grins, leaning casually against the doorframe. “What, people are talking?”
“Talking?” Noora squeaks, her voice an octave higher than usual. She glares at you, her eyes wide, almost pleading. “This is a disaster! Do you understand what you’ve done to our schedule, our statement plan? And the … the-” Her gaze flickers to the faint marks on your neck, and her knees buckle. Abbie reaches out quickly, guiding her to a chair.
“Maybe we overreacted,” Abbie mutters, though she doesn’t take her eyes off you. “Or maybe we didn’t react enough.”
You feel a rush of heat flood your face as everyone’s gaze lands on you. Franco catches it and gives you a cheeky wink, clearly enjoying the chaos he’s created.
“Look,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady, “maybe we got a little carried away, but it’s … it’s not like we did anything wrong.”
“Nothing wrong?” Noora says, her voice faint as she studies the marks on your neck again. “You … you have no idea how this looks, do you?”
Franco, completely unfazed, strolls over to the mirror above the dresser. He takes a long look at his own reflection, tilting his head to admire the scratches and darkening bruises scattered across his skin. “Looks like a good night to me.”
Your PR teams collectively groan, and you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing. Franco catches your eye in the mirror, and the mischievous spark there makes it impossible not to crack a smile.
“Franco, this isn’t a joke!” One of his managers snaps, practically pulling at his hair. “Do you know how many calls we’ve received since you posted those photos?”
Franco shrugs, giving them a lazy grin. “Then turn off your phone. Worked for me.”
Another round of exasperated sighs fills the room, and you can’t help but feel a twinge of sympathy for your PR team. Not enough, though, to actually feel bad.
Noora steps forward, hands on her hips, looking at you with an expression that’s somehow both sympathetic and stern. “Your Highness, this is … unprecedented. We need to issue a statement immediately, clarify this situation-”
“Or not,” Franco interrupts, his tone far too nonchalant. He turns away from the mirror, crossing his arms. “Honestly, I think the people like a little mystery, don’t you?”
Noora gives him a look that could wilt flowers. “This isn’t about what the people like, Mr. Colapinto. It’s about protecting reputations.”
“Oh, so we’re doing that now?” Franco glances at you, his smile playful. “Funny, last night I didn’t get the sense that the two of us in this room were all that worried about reputations.”
Your face flushes, and you shoot him a look that’s half reprimand, half reluctant amusement. “You’re not helping.”
He shrugs, unbothered. “Who said I was trying to help?”
Abbie lets out a long sigh, rubbing her temples. “Can we at least agree that this … whatever this is, stays here? Quietly?”
Franco raises an eyebrow, looking at you with a smirk. “You hear that, Princess? Quietly. Doesn’t sound like much fun to me.”
You swallow, trying to ignore the way his gaze makes your stomach flip. “Maybe some things should be quiet,” you say, though your voice sounds unconvincing even to you.
Noora, still looking a bit wobbly, clears her throat. “Please, can we just … make a plan?”
Franco sighs, feigning disappointment. “Fine. Make your plan. But don’t expect me to follow it.”
Before anyone can respond, he gives you one last smirk and strides over to the door, pulling it open. “In fact, I think it’s about time we had the room to ourselves, don’t you think?”
The PR teams exchange panicked glances, but they don’t have much choice as Franco gives them a not-so-subtle wave toward the exit. Noora opens her mouth to protest, but Abbie gently ushers her toward the door, casting one last look at you that’s a mix of concern and reluctant approval.
“We’ll be in touch,” Abbie says, but there’s a hint of resignation in her tone, as if she knows that whatever control they thought they had is slipping fast.
Once the last of them has been herded out, Franco shuts the door with a decisive click. He turns back to you, a wicked gleam in his eyes, and before you can process it, he’s crossing the room, closing the distance between you in seconds.
“You know,” he says, his voice low and teasing, “I think we gave them quite a show.”
You roll your eyes, but you can’t stop the smile that tugs at your lips. “We? That was mostly you.”
He laughs softly, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face. “You didn’t exactly object.”
You’re about to respond, but he doesn’t give you the chance. His hands find your waist, and suddenly you’re being guided backward, the mattress hitting the back of your legs as he eases you down. His gaze is intense, his smirk fading into something more serious, more intent.
“Franco,” you murmur, but the way he’s looking at you steals the rest of your words.
He leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, then to the corner of your mouth. His voice is barely more than a whisper as he murmurs, “We’re not done yet, Princess.”
Your heart races as he shifts, his hands warm against your skin, his weight pressing you back into the bed. And as he leans down, capturing your lips in a kiss that’s somehow both playful and possessive, you realize that whatever the consequences, whatever scandal might follow … right now, none of it matters.
Right now, there’s only him, the quiet thrill of his touch, and the feeling of finally — finally — giving in.
***
The night sky over Las Vegas glitters with a million lights, bright enough to drown out the stars, as the drivers’ parade winds down the track. The grandstands are packed, the excitement in the air palpable even before the race has started.
Franco is perched atop the back of a bus, arms folded, his easy smirk in place as he surveys the flashing cameras and cheering fans. Beside him stands Lewis Hamilton, calm and collected as always, with that practiced smile of someone who’s done this a thousand times.
Franco nudges Lewis with his elbow, grinning. “So, you know we’re both basically royalty now, right?”
Lewis chuckles, giving him a sideways look. “Oh, yeah? What makes you think that?”
Franco shrugs, looking as if he’s contemplating something serious for a split second, then tilts his head. “Well, you’ve got the knighthood, Sir Hamilton,” he says, drawing out the words with an exaggerated British accent. “And I’ve got, well …” He grins, his eyebrows waggling suggestively. “The princess.”
Lewis laughs, a rich, full sound. “Ah, I see. So you’re actually out here trying to one-up my knighthood?”
Franco clutches his chest dramatically. “Exactly. I mean, not to make it a competition, but I’m basically a prince now. Which, if we’re being technical, puts me a bit above you in rank.”
Lewis lets out a snort, rolling his eyes. “Shut up, man. I’m a knight, not a court jester.”
Franco raises his hands in mock surrender, his grin widening. “Hey, I’m just stating the facts. I’m sure knighthood’s very nice, but I think there’s something to be said for having a princess.”
Lewis shakes his head, trying not to laugh. “So it’s true, then?”
For the first time, Franco’s smirk softens into something else, something quieter. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, glancing at the screen with an expression that’s unmistakably fond. He’s not looking at Lewis now, or at the cheering fans, or even the flashing cameras around them. His gaze is locked on his phone, where an image fills the screen.
It’s you, cozy on the couch with your Cavalier King Charles Spaniel in your lap, a warm blanket wrapped around you, hair falling casually over your shoulder. You’re looking straight into the camera, a relaxed smile on your face, and there’s an almost surprising intimacy in the photo — the kind that doesn’t come from a staged royal portrait but from a simple, real moment. It’s the type of photo someone only sends to someone they care about.
Franco doesn’t say anything right away. He just stares at the image, his thumb tracing lightly over the screen, as if he’s savoring the private moment before he has to lock his phone away for the race.
He nods, almost to himself. “Yeah. It’s true.”
Lewis studies him slowly, an almost invisible smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Didn’t think I’d see the day,” he murmurs, a touch of amusement there. “Guess you’re growing up, huh?”
Franco finally looks up, chuckling. “Speak for yourself, man. I’m still a kid at heart.”
Lewis raises an eyebrow. “A kid at heart who’s dating a princess? That’s a combination I didn’t see coming.”
“Neither did I, to be honest.” Franco leans back, stretching his arms out along the edge of the bus, still clutching his phone in one hand. “One minute, I’m just minding my business, and the next … boom.” He snaps his fingers. “The entire world decides we’re dating. Didn’t even know her name before then.”
Lewis chuckles. “And now you’re on your phone looking at pictures she sent you. You’ve come a long way.”
Franco glances down at the picture again, a private smile playing on his lips. “Guess I have.”
The parade continues, the roar of the crowd swelling around them as they pass another section of the grandstand, but it all feels distant. The conversation falls into a comfortable silence, and Franco finds himself thinking back over the past few weeks, the whirlwind of rumors and statements, and then … the quiet moments that somehow followed.
Lewis studies him, eyes narrowing in that perceptive way he has. “So … you and her. Is it, like, official?”
Franco lets out a short laugh. “Are you kidding? This is Her Royal Highness we’re talking about. There’s no ‘official’ until we’ve been courting for at least a year. There’s procedure and … what’s the word she loves to use? Protocol.”
“Protocol.” Lewis grins. “That sounds … exactly like what you hate.”
“Oh, believe me.” Franco laughs, shaking his head. “She’s been trying to teach me, but I don’t think I’ve followed protocol a single time. I mean, she actually tried to tell me what utensils I should use at dinner. Like, why does it matter?”
“Didn’t go well, huh?”
“Let’s just say I’ve decided that those tiny forks are optional.” Franco sighs, pocketing his phone. “But that’s her. She takes it all so seriously. Makes me want to take it seriously too, in some strange way.”
Lewis tilts his head, watching him. “I get that. That’s what happens when someone really means something to you.” He pauses, as if weighing his words. “So, she’s watching tonight?”
Franco nods, a flash of pride evident in his smile. “She sent me this right before we went out for the parade.” He taps his pocket, where his phone is hidden now. “Said she’d be watching. Don’t know how she manages to get away with it, with her schedule planned out months in advance, but she’s … creative.”
Lewis laughs, shaking his head. “The lengths you two go to. Like some kind of fairytale romance.”
The bus they’re on takes another slow turn around the parade route, the lights of Las Vegas casting a surreal glow over the scene. The streets are packed with fans, all of them waving and shouting, and Franco finds himself wondering if you’re watching this right now. He imagines you, curled up on the couch with that fluffy little dog of yours, laughing at the absurdity of it all.
Franco smiles. “Yeah, I guess it really is.”
2K notes · View notes
maskedbyghost · 4 months ago
Text
Heyyy, it's me again, but this time we're talking situationship!Simon—aka the biggest fuckboy you'll ever meet. Honestly, girl, I have no idea why you're still putting up with him!
you can’t even define what you two have, but one thing’s for sure—he knows how to use his dick, and you're both free to mess around with whoever you want. but of course, you had to fall for him, for that stupid smile he swore only you were special enough to see, for the gentle touch that lingered on your skin during those rare nights when he stayed longer than usual. you fell for the way he made you feel like you were the exception, even though deep down, you knew better.
you fell for how he made you feel like you were everything, even though he’d always leave just as quickly. he knew exactly how to keep you hooked—giving just enough to make you believe in him, but never enough to make it real. you wanted more, but every time he left, you remembered that his promises were as short-lived as his visits. still, you couldn’t stop going back, hoping that maybe this time, he’d actually mean it.
but he never did. you’d have fun for a few hours, but then he’d leave, acting like you didn’t exist around everyone else. he’d flirt with other girls right in front of you, not even bothering to hide it when he left with them, almost like he wanted you to see.
and every time, it hurt a little more, but you couldn’t bring yourself to end it. you told yourself you didn’t care, that it was just fun, but deep down, you wanted to be the one he stayed with. yet, no matter how much it hurt to watch him with someone else, the moment he came back, all that anger faded, and you let him in again, caught in the hope that maybe someday he’d truly see you as more than just a temporary fix.
one night, you tried to have a serious conversation with him, hoping that if you laid out your feelings, he might finally understand. but he dismissed your emotions with a shrug, listing reasons why he didn’t want a relationship: he was too focused on his career, he wasn’t ready for commitment, and he just didn’t want to deal with the complications. simon insisted that keeping things as they were was the best option for both of you.
afterward, as you lay together, a clear realization hit you. even though you were physically close, you couldn’t ignore the emptiness you felt. that night you made a silent promise to yourself: this would be the last time you let him in, and the last time you let yourself be trapped in this cycle.
and, being the dumb man he was, simon only came to realize what he had lost after you were gone. a few weeks after your last conversation, he saw you a few times out with other guys, laughing and flirting as if you were moving on. it hit him hard—a painful mix of jealousy and regret. he realized that he missed you, but at the same time, he knew he had no right to these feelings. not after treating you the way he did.  
he managed to keep his calm for a few more days, but the weight of his regret grew unbearable. finally, he snapped and called you into his office late one night, claiming he needed to discuss the upcoming mission with you.
as soon as you walked in, simon felt his heart tighten in his chest. seeing your face calm, confident, like you had already moved on, stirred something deeper than he expected. there was no trace of the vulnerability you used to show around him, no lingering affection. he realized, in that moment, just how much he had pushed you away. regret surged through him, sharper than he imagined, and he knew this conversation wouldn’t be easy.
after talking about unimportant stuff for a few minutes, simon took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. “i know i messed up, and i’m sorry for how i treated you. i’ve been thinking a lot about what happened, and i realize now how much i regret it. i was wrong to push you away.”
you looked at him, your expression guarded. “it’s a little too late for apologies, simon, don't you think? you had plenty of chances to get it right, and now you’re just trying to fix things because you see me with someone else.”
he tried to reach out, his voice softening. “i know it’s not enough, but i want to make things right. i can’t stop thinking about what we had.”
you shook your head, stepping back. “you had your chance, and you threw it away. i’m not going to be your second choice or your backup plan.”
"y/n-"
"no, simon!" you sighed, closing your eyes briefly to gather your thoughts. when you spoke again, your voice was steady, "you know, some people never fade from memory. they leave a mark that lingers just beneath the surface, no matter how hard you try to move on. but to be honest, i’m not in the mood for any more humiliation or heartbreak. so, this is my final goodbye to you."
you could sense that he wanted to say something, but you couldn’t let him speak before you had your say. “go ahead and fill your life with new faces, as if i were nothing but a distant memory. enjoy your freedom and let others wear you out as they please. i’m done being part of that. keep moving forward, and if you ever try to reach out, know that i’ll let your calls go unanswered. for now, i’m celebrating the end of our chapter.”
even as he heard you declare the end, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he still wanted you in his life. he was stuck between guilt and the lingering hope that maybe he could still fix things. despite your rejection, part of him struggled to accept that he had truly lost you, and he felt powerless to change the situation or let you go.
simon’s face twisted with a mix of desperation and anger. “you think you can just walk away and erase everything we had? you think you can move on and leave me behind like I’m nothing?” he took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but his voice was filled with raw intensity. “don’t fool yourself, i still want you, and i won’t just let you go. you’re mine, whether you like it or not. i know i’ve made mistakes, but i’m not done fighting for what we had. if you think you can find someone better, go ahead. but know this: i’ll keep groveling and doing whatever it takes until you take me back. i’m not going anywhere, and i’ll make sure you remember what we had.” he took a step back, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and ran a hand through his disheveled hair.
you just smirked, turning on your heel to leave. as you reached the door, you glanced back over your shoulder with a cold, confident look. “i can’t wait to see you on your knees,” you said, your voice sharp. then, you walked out, leaving him alone with his mess.
game on.
(I WANT HIM TO GROVEL FOR MONTHSSSS)
----------------------------------------------------------
@daydreamerwoah
1K notes · View notes
monstersholygrail · 5 months ago
Text
It broke your heart to leash and put a muzzle on your Werewolf bf. But ultimately you really didn’t have any other option.
Not when he was growling and snarling at anyone who dare to look at you too long. Protecting his territory and constantly preparing to fight off any human who he thinks is planning to take you away from him.
Even now with a leash attached to his pretty collar and the muzzle fit snuggly on his face, he still pulls and tugs on the leash, growling lowly as other hybrids pass by on your daily walks around the park. But at least now you nor anyone else has to worry about things getting out of hand.
Or at least that’s what you think…
Your bf is silently stewing, practically seething at the fact that you’ve done this to him. His bad mood only increasing the amount of times he snarls at his competitors for your affection that pass you by.
His limitations only serve to remind him what you’ve done to him. And boy does it make him want revenge. To teach you who’s really the one in charge here as the desire to make you submit roars inside of him.
That feeling only grows as your walk continues and by the time the two of you have gotten back to your home, your bf is practically vibrating in his skin. The need to pounce on you and mount you pumps through his veins and electrifies the urge.
You gently take off the leash and the muzzle and he finally feels free. Your soft smile and sweet touch never leave his face as you hang them up. For a second his heart warms at your affection but the clank of metal rings in his ears and he’s reminded he’ll have to wear them again for your walk later.
“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” You ask lightly, leaning in and giving him a chaste kiss before turning around and heading to your room.
Your bf’s eyes follow you closely like a predator hunting their prey. He smirks wickedly and lifts the leash off the hook before following you, tail wagging in excitement thinking about how he’s gonna demolish that sweet pussy of yours.
“You deserve a treat for being such a good boy. Can get you some from the kitchen in a minute,” you call out as you flick on the bedroom lights, preparing to change into your pajamas for the night.
At your comment he freezes outside your door, vision flashing till all he sees is red. That was the final straw and before he can stop himself, your bf is swiftly jumping out to pounce on you.
You yelp as his body barrels into yours, pinning you to the bed before you can even blink. He chuckles darkly, claws digging into the flesh of your wrists to keep you still for him.
“A snack?! No, babygirl, imma take the whole meal. I think I’ve earned it after what you put me through.”
Your eyes widen as you realize where this is coming from. Your body squirms but he pushes his hips against yours and you whine as his cock nudges against your wet folds. His dominating presence turning you on more than you can admit.
“I-it was just a precaution, please,” you beg, though you don’t know what you’re begging for.
But as he takes out the leash he was holding and starts tying it around your wrists, binding them to the bedpost, you know. You’re begging for more.
“Yeah, well I can’t have you squirmin’ ‘round on me. So this is just a precaution,” he mocks with a dangerous smile that has his fangs glittering in the sunlight.
With a harsh tug your bf exposes your messy folds. He runs his fingers down your soaked slit and you cry out, hips jerking up to meet his teasing touch.
“Ahhh, it seems like you’ve been lying to me. You like it when I’m like this. It gets you all hot and wet— fucking hell you’re dripping all over my hand, love.” A rumble moves through his chest as he sees just how desperate you are for him.
Not waiting a moment more he removes his pulsing cock from its sheath and slams himself inside you in the blink of an eye. You moan loudly, body bucking at the sudden intrusion. But the leash and his hands keep you tied down as he pounds his length deep inside your pussy.
Whimpers leave you as you’re left defenseless against his attack, his brutal pace jolting your body with each thrust with no way to add to the pleasure he forces onto you. No matter how much you try and squirm it’s no use. You can’t reach him.
“Oh fuck, please. Take the leash off. Let me touch you, please, let me touch you!”
You let out a strangled whine as he starts aiming for the soft spot along your walls. Your bf shushes you gently, a clawed hand moving to hold your neck in a firm grip.
“Sh, sh, sh. No talking. Wouldn’t want me to get the muzzle now,” he rasps as he quickens his pace, leaving you mewling as your back arches unnaturally.
He goes on for what feels like forever. Bringing you to climax over and over again. Only allowing short sounds of pleasure to leave your lips. His grip on your neck squeezing every time you talk until you cum on his cock and it all starts over.
By the time you’re done and he gently removes the leash from your wrists, your body is nothing but a limp bag of bones. Yet you still have the strength to immediately cling onto your bf, keeping him close as he whispers praises in your ear about how good you did for him and how he can’t wait for your next walk so you can do this again.
3K notes · View notes
pathologicalreid · 21 days ago
Text
card trick | s.r.
Tumblr media
in which you broach a subject with Spencer that you're sure will be a dealbreaker - you don't want kids
margovember
who? spencer reid x fem!reader category: flangst content warnings: child-free by choice, magic tricks, selfishness (like. reader thinks she's selfish), chemist!reader word count: 1.08k a/n: this was lowkey hard to write because i do in fact want kids myself and i'm such a dad!spencer truther. but there was some fun within the challenge!!! ily <3
Tumblr media
“Do you want to talk about it?” Spencer asked, watching as you braced yourself against the wall and kicked off your shoes, nudging them in the hallway until they were in place.
You hummed in response, “About what?” You inquired casually, proceeding to hand your coat on the rack and pull the sleeves of your sweater down. Avoiding his gaze, you bulldozed through to the kitchen, searching through the cabinets for an appropriate mug to make tea in.
He followed you to the kitchen, grabbing a mug and holding it out for you to take. You didn’t live here, but you knew your way around so well that someone might’ve gotten that idea. “Whatever it is that made you get so quiet tonight,” Spencer prodded, leaning over the kitchen counter and propping himself up.
Filtering through his tea collection, you faltered for a moment before continuing, picking a chamomile tea bag and flicking on the electric kettle. The two of you had just gotten back from dinner at Rossi’s, your second one since you and Spencer had started dating, where you watched Spencer spend hours doing magic tricks with Henry and Jack. You shook your head, watching the water in the kettle as it began to boil.
“Are you feeling alright?” Spencer asked, wondering if you had a physical ailment that was causing you to shut down. He had picked you up straight from work, maybe you were just exhausted.
This time you nodded, opening the wrapper for the tea bag and tossing the foil in the bin, “Yeah, long day,” you admitted, “Did you want tea?”
Spencer was quiet for a moment, watching as you instinctively grabbed another mug and prepared a cup of tea for him as well. It was starting to get chilly outside, so a warm tea was likely to have healing properties, “Have I done something?”
Now, you ignored his question, grabbing the mugs and bringing them over to the coffee table. You sat on the couch, nestling yourself into the corner and pulling a knit blanket over your lap. In your periphery, you watched him sit on the opposite side of the couch, and it was beyond your control when you finally spoke up, “Do you want kids?”
“I’ve never really given it much thought,” he responded, and you nearly flinched at his answer, convinced he was lying to save your feelings.
You shifted on the couch, staring down into the murkiness of your tea, “What does that mean?”
He pressed his lips in a thin white line for a moment as if he were considering his options, “I’ve never really been in a relationship where that was a discussion to have, so I’ve never done an in-depth evaluation of whether or not I want kids of my own.” He set his mug down on the coffee table and turned to you, “But I take it you have.”
Slowly, you nodded, skimming the handle of your mug with the pad of your thumb, “I don’t want kids,” you whispered, closing your eyes as soon as the words were out there.
Spencer was quiet, and you were afraid that the finality in your voice would be the reason you lost him forever. No more BAU family dinners at Rossi’s. No more phone calls seeking help on a case. No more whispering nonsensical science puns to each other in the middle of the night when you should be asleep. You were surprised when he answered, “That’s okay with me.”
You lifted your head, craning your neck to the side so you could determine whether or not he was messing with you. Instead, earnest brown eyes stared back at you, “It is?”
He shrugged lightly, “Admittedly, I’m not too fond of the idea of choosing between a family and the BAU. I’ve seen enough wedges driven and bridges burned to know that that’s not something I want to experience first-hand.”
“It’s just never felt like the right thing for me,” you elaborated on your own feelings, still not convinced of his. “Sometimes I… I think I’m too selfish to be a mother,” you confessed, setting your mug down and pulling your knees to your chest. “I see people around me and the things they sacrifice for their children, and I don’t think that could ever be something I do, Spence. It’s not in the cards for me.”
Cocking his head at you, Spencer studied you for a moment, “If you don’t want to be a mother, then you don’t have to.”
Your eyes burned fiercely at his words, so shocked by his response to what had sent previous boyfriends running for the hills. “I think maybe you should take some time to think about this because you said you never have before,” you advised him cautiously, setting your chin on your knee.
He shook his head dismissively, “I don’t need to think about it. If it’s a choice between you and some hypothetical children, then it’s really no choice at all.”
Closing your eyes, you let tears fall freely down your cheeks, “I just don’t want you to wake up someday and resent me for not giving you children. I don’t want you to roll over in bed and think about how I’ve somehow failed you.”
It was that statement that prompted Spencer to reach out to you, he tenderly looped an arm around your shoulders and pressed a kiss to your temple. “I could never resent you for making a decision about yourself like that, do you understand?”
“You’re just so good with them,” you bemoaned, recalling the flashing images of Spencer doing card tricks for the kids and refusing to reveal his secrets to them.
Spencer smiled softly at you, “It’s easy when you don’t actually have to do the raising of the children. I’m more than comfortable with my title of godfather and uncle.”
“But what if you need more?” You asked desperately, still horrified by your hypothetical day where Spencer wakes up with hate in his heart.
His other arm looped around you, pulling you closer to him, “Trust me when I say this: you are more than enough for me.” He squeezed you gently, “I can be good with kids and be perfectly content with never having any of my own. Those two things can coexist.”
Nodding absentmindedly, you leaned your head onto his shoulder, “Thank you,” you breathed, silent tears still streaming down your cheeks only to be swept away by your boyfriend’s deft fingers.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
731 notes · View notes