#I’ve been Going Through It

[moonlit-femme]

Adore me.

Worship me.

Give yourself up to me.

Then fuck me hard.

[miszmal]

07/04/24

very quick, very raw comic about taking care of yourself as a young person.

[synmmin]

YOOOO ??

[draw-your-self-ship]

Aaaaa sorry for letting this blog rot for a few weeks, I’ll fix y’all up with some prompts for hopefully the rest of the upcoming week o7

[theamericantrash]

👽💕👽💕

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

Notes about what I need to tell my therapist about on Wednesday

- parent visit and how it went

- PTSD convo with arrow and resulting reaction

- major dissociative episode on Sunday

- first dissociative episode with evidence that I did something in the section I lost time from (laundry and coloring)

- text conversation debacle with mom

- major dissociative episode on Monday during class time

- phone call with Dad

- dissociating way more in general

- getting behind on homework and having to catch up

- nightmares for 5 days in a row

- startle reactions being more amped than usual (door opening)

- breaking down in front of my capstone advisor on Wednesday

- more texting with mom

- came out to my cousin

- slightly weird texts from my cousin

- wrote a sci fi horror story about the dissociating

- got through most of a horror movie!

- why I could not finish the horror movie (lunchroom guy)

- seriously the dissociating is bad. multiple days in a row of not feeling hungry. until directly after grounding myself. upon which I would dissociate again bc it hurt.

- can I *please* get screened for PTSD

[marlboromoxley]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it the last five blogs in your notifs. Anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog <3

1) I’m a horse girl (gnc)

2) I married my high school sweetheart

3) I have a niche job in the automotive industry (and I want out lol)

[dorianatlas-art]

Sketches of Wilhelm in a future outfit that I really really like 🤩

bring👏back👏70s👏sportswear👏

✌️I’m still working on Part 3 of SPINES and I’m hoping I’ll be able to start releasing again in September but uhhhhh we’ll see

[bobfloydsbabe]

i’m so glad this week is over. i need the universe to be on my side for the upcoming one, though.

[nullians]

Bootleg therapy in form of writing out a tumblr post and then discarding it ✌️

[kozumechi]

preclaimed miccino design

[floralcyanide]

I promise I’ll post the final chapter of The Extra within the next few months (yes months skdjsks) I’m slowly recovering from very severe mental instability and I’m busy with school and work and have no time for anything else really. I’m off hiatus still because I am planning on posting the final chapter and epilogue soon. hopefully sooner than I plan. but we shall see. 😎

[dildopamine]

i’m not sure what my top two most played songs of this year mean but they cannot be good

[badolmen]

We reflect the gods and the gods in turn reflect us, mirrors of imperfections. It’s hard to be surprised by an oracle’s prophecy when millennia has followed the same pattern. The child will kill the father. The father in turn tries to kill his child. The child escapes, survives, grows, and fulfills the prophecy. One way or another.

Why fight it?

He will be the death of you. The child shall pierce the heart of the king and claim his crown, as every king has before him.

The oracle’s warning does not go unheard. There are whispers in the court, even as he sleeps on my shoulder amid tax reform debates. Everyone knows what he will do. It is inevitable that he will learn of it. The weight of prophecy is inescapable.

By the time he can babble in intense but wordless conversations with his wet nurse, the whispers have quieted. They thought they knew what I would do. The nurses and priestesses do not linger near his crib or outside the fortress walls. There will be no midnight assassination of my son, nor a sacrificial pyre to try and please the selfish gods.

He is writing and speaking as eloquently as his mother by the time he is 10, carrying conversations with the priests and the politicians. He has doubtless heard the prophecy, mumbled by a drunken court jester or whispered by a wary priest. I know the conflict in his eyes well. I felt the same when I learned of my fate, and my fathers.

“Why?” He asks me one day, our hunt successful and horses heavy with boar pests and pork. He rode ahead of me, back exposed and unarmored as we hunted. How easy it would have been to end his still fragile life the way my own father tried to end mine.

“I love you,”

“I’m supposed to kill you, as your son it’s my fate.”

“I know. And as your father, it’s my fate to love you still.”

His eyes no longer hold suspicion or fear. He trains with the knights, learning blades and bows and spears. He fights as I once did, but with more ease in his heart. If he is to fulfill this fate, it will be swift. He doesn’t want me to suffer, but he knows I am at peace with our entwined fates.

The coup is sudden and bloody. Hundreds die in battle, hundreds more in prisons, hundreds more by famine. The king that took my throne is cruel, a hero blessed by the gods to overthrow me for my hubris. For the folly of accepting fate.

The priestesses weep as they hold him, bloody and cold in their arms. The priests have no answer. Could the oracle have been mistaken? The prophecy, a tradition of human nature, a lie?

I hold my son in my arms, as I once did in the crowded court room, and he is quiet. Had he run me through with a spear I would feel no difference from how I felt seeing his broken bones and glassy eyes.

My death I was prepared for. His, I was not.

No parent ever is, no parent ever should be.

The rebellion is fierce and righteous, the slain prince beloved by his people, by his father most of all. The false king’s reign is shattered, any boon from the gods useless in the face of my rage.

In the face of my grief.

He’s crowned on his funeral pyre. A king in death as he should have grown to be in life. The throne is empty, the king who should have been had died without heirs.

An empty throne receives no prophecies. A kingless kingdom blooms and grows. A dead king’s father lives to see a peaceful death.

The gods reflect their people, loving and nurturing and mortal, and die with their ancient prophecies of sons killing fathers, of fathers burying sons.

Edit: Donate to Palestinians in Gaza

you're far from the first king to receive the prophecy that your new born child would cause your death. Where your story diverges is when instead of tossing the kid to the wolves, you are driven to be a kind & nurturing father.

[rowynbriarsalix]

Ok so chapter 24 is written I gotta proof read but I’m posting it tonight hopefully.

[fakegoose]

The best part about going to business school is realizing I don’t like business and I wanna write or do non-profit work instead 😍✨