#I’ve also got platonic ships
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floofyboi57 · 1 year ago
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*looks at my ship with Bam and Digby*
literally I think we should all go back to shipping w an.imal cros.sing characters again there’s literally so many villagers and special npcs to choose from the choices are limitless we can all live in harmony
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unforgivingchorus · 1 year ago
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I’ve slowly been catching up with miraculous ladybug after like 6 years of not interacting with it, and why is my girl Mari doomed by the narrative. She was going through enough she doesn’t need this
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autumnrory · 3 months ago
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godddd i will just never get the appeal of bucky/sam to me it is the equivalent of putting like. jim and dwight in a romantic relationship which I’m sure a lot of people do but STILL at least there’s more substance there
#had hoped this fic saying minor would be a blink and you miss it reference but no#it was soooo unnecessary to the story too like could’ve just been fatws compliant without that since the focus was yelena#it would’ve been such a lovely fix it otherwise OH and untagged got implications of stevenat in the end#which i at least understand more bc there is a depth there obvs but they’re so platonic to me#just do not understand why this author seems to have abandoned stucky for these ships#like you have done the endgame fix it shit and yet#lol you know how people would talk about what peggy would think about steve and sharon#like imagine steve coming back to that bullshit of bucky and sam#think I’d be like hey don’t think I’ve forgotten how you were a huge asshole to bucky when he was traumatized in cacw#which dear god i wish people would acknowledge#i enjoyed the humor of their barbs at the time but eventually it was like#on the mcu is gonna have everyone mistreat bucky forever apparently#and make it seem like he is a villain despite all evidence he didn’t choose to do those things#meanwhile fandom woobifies actual villains i hate it#also oh my god ik this happened in canon but having sam call him buck? absolutely not lmao that is literally a steve specific thing#idk maybe fatws did give them depth they didn’t have before it’s not like i would know#just what i gleaned it didn’t seem like it and even so#to me they both will always have more meaningful relationships with steve than each other#and people just jumped on board bc they view sam and bucky as a replacement for those relationships#and i just do not see how that can work and it seems to take away from all three characters and those relationships to do that
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transcendence-au · 3 months ago
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★★★ HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY! ★★★
It’s that special time of year, folks–time for our annual TAU ficathon! But, what’s this… we’re turning 10 this year? That’s a milestone if I’ve ever heard one!
To celebrate, we’re going to offer a couple extras this year… we’ve got contests, raffles, and prizes! Here’s a quick peek at what’s going down this eventful birthday of ours:
Fanfic contest (with prizes!)
Fanart contest (with prizes!)
Three raffles!
Alcor charm preorder!
Here’s what the schedule is going to look like:
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October 5th: Fanfic and fanart contests open! Alcor charm pre-orders open!
November 2nd: Alcor charm pre-order close + payment deadline
December 14th: Contest submissions close
December 21st: Contest winners and raffle winners announcements
Click the read more to see all the details of these events!
★ Fanfic contest ★
→ Submit your fic to the fanfic contest here! ← 
This time, you can submit your ficathon fic into a contest for some fun prizes!
The winner will receive:
An Alcor charm (free including shipping)
Their fic featured in the “Introduction to TAU” page soon to be unveiled
Art for their fic, drawn by TAU creator Zillychu
Bragging rights! 
Unlike the usual ficathon though, there is a theme all contestants will need to follow. 
☆☆☆ The theme for this contest is: Introduction to TAU! ☆☆☆
This means your fic can be read by anyone who has no prior knowledge of TAU, or even Gravity Falls! It also means you need to give the reader a taste of what TAU is all about – this includes:
Something that explains the Transcendence (or at least shows the reader that the supernatural is now commonplace – this can be achieved anywhere from a single sentence, to a major plot point)
Alcor’s general predicament of being a human-turned-immortal-demon (could be in conversation, or in the general narrative. Does not need to go into detail on the events that lead up to this, but it can!)
At least one familiar or common theme abundant in this AU, which includes but isn’t limited to: 
Family (however it’s defined), friendship, and platonic love
Finding joy amidst grief, hope despite loss
Demonology and eldritch terrors
Supernatural politics and how they fit into the mundane
The existential horror of being a human turned semi-omnipotent immortal demon who must fight the demonic desire for chaos vs. the human desire to pack bond with everything!
A wonderful example of this includes Mod K’s series Bentley & Friends! The story plants you in the center of the TAU world through the eyes of a character named Bentley, and slowly unveils the setting through his perspective. Bentley himself is familiar with a post-Transcendence world and Alcor’s reputation, but only comes to learn the truth about him and Mizar through ensuing shenanigans. 
Another example would be MaryPSue’s Return, Rewind, Rewrite, which starts with an emotional demon summoning, and follows characters who find they're more closely linked to the Transcendence than they expected. Remember: Showcasing the story of TAU through narratives and character interactions is always better than simply giving the reader a summary! 
Please note that there is no word minimum. Longer fics will generally leave a better impression on the mods, but quality will always trump quantity. 
Here’s a list of all the prerequisites for your fic when entering the fanfic contest:
Only one entry per person
Adheres to the contest theme
Only new work created after this announcement post (or within a month if tagged as anniversary content) will be accepted!
Is rated G to M (no explicit sexual content please!)
No word minimum
Is submitted via the Google form by December 14th
OCs are welcome, so long as the theme is met and the story is easily distinguished as TAU-related
If you end up winning the contest, we will reach out to you for your name and address so we can send you your charm!
If you win the contest and you elect not to receive a charm, we will award the free charm to the runner-up.
★ Fanart contest ★
→ Submit your art to the fanart contest here! ← 
Not much of a writer, but still want to join in the festivities? Perhaps you’d like to write and do a little something extra?
Here’s a list of all the prerequisites for entering the fanart contest:
Only one entry per person
ANY art (that isn’t fanfic) is accepted! Illustration, mixed media, animations, emojis, music… if you create it, you can enter it!
Only new work created after this announcement post (or within a month if tagged as anniversary content) will be accepted!
No explicit sexual content
Is submitted via the Google form by December 14th
OCs are welcome, so long as it’s easily distinguished as TAU-related
★ Raffles ★
→ Click here to enter the TAU fan appreciation raffle! ← 
While the mods of the TAU blog will be picking winning contest entries, we’d like everyone participating to have a chance to win a free charm, as well as fans who have created fan content in the past!
There will be a total of 3 raffles:
If you enter the fanfic contest, you will be automatically entered in the fanfic raffle!
If you enter the fanart contest, you will be automatically entered in the fanart raffle!
Yes, that means if you enter both the fanfic and fanart contest, you will be entered twice! If you apply to the TAU fan appreciation raffle, you'll be entered three times!
The TAU fan appreciation raffle is open to everyone who has created at least one piece of fan content in the past! You will need to enter this raffle manually, and share a link to something you created in the past (must be something with a timestamp, like a blog post or AO3 link). 
☆☆☆ If you pre-order a charm and end up winning a raffle, we will refund you on Paypal for the full amount.
☆☆☆ Only one charm will be awarded per person. If you win one raffle, you cannot win in the others. 
★ Alcor charm pre-orders ★
→ Click here to pre-order your Alcor charm! ←
Want to ensure you still get a charm whether or not you win a contest or raffle? Go ahead and pre-order yours!
Price: $15
(includes shipping inside USA, additional shipping fees for international)
Note that since this is something Zilly wants to do in appreciation for the TAU community, the price listed is purely production price. This will cover the cost of the charm, and shipping. If you live outside the USA, we will calculate your shipping separately and disclose this in the Paypal invoice. If the price exceeds your expectations, you are welcome to refuse/cancel the invoice.
Your invoice must be paid by November 2nd! (We need to know how many charms to order!)
The charms will be sent in early January – We will do the contest winners and raffles first, so if you pre-order and then win one of the contests or raffles, your invoice will be canceled and you will be sent a charm at no cost. 
Here’s what you need to do to preorder an Alcor charm:
Fill out the following Google form (You will need to share your Paypal email! Make sure your name and address in your Paypal is correct, as we will be using that to ship your charm)
Wait for us to send you an invoice in Paypal
Complete payment of your Paypal invoice by November 2nd
Estimated delivery date will be January 2025!
★ And now... the true stars of our AU ★
That's everything for this year's celebration! But now, if you'll let me get a little emotional... I'd like to thank the heart and soul of the Transcendence AU:
You.
To all the fans of TAU, new and old. To everyone who spent years active in the fandom, to everyone who even briefly enjoyed TAU content in passing. To everyone who created fanfic and fanart, to those who created music and animated MAPs, to those who organized events and meet-ups, to everyone who reblogged and liked posts made by the TAU blog or any of TAU's wonderful fans.
Thank you. You created this AU. You created something more than an idea. You created a community. Without you, none of this would have been possible.
From the bottom of my little rat heart, I love you all. From all the mods of the TAU blog, we thank you! Here's to another ten wonderful years!
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sabertoothwalrus · 5 months ago
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I probably missed it, but what IS your favourite Dungeon Meshi ship?
WELL SINCE YOU ASKED, I have a chart already hdhshdh
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1) Farcille is my number one!!! I wish I’ve drawn more of them, but most of my ideas for them are longggg and angsty and take a lot more mental bandwith. I’ve said before, I approach comics like I’m pitching an idea, and I mostly* agree with people’s depictions of them, so I have less to say.
*I say mostly because I cannot stand when people depict Falin as possessive, or disregard her characterization to give her generic dommy alpha monster traits hdhshdjs NOT THAT IT’S BAD it just doesn’t feel true to her character. I find myself bored by it.
I’m also put off by some of the folks I’ve seen in the farcille tags. They’re like,,, cliquey?? There was a point where people were dunking on mlm ships that came off borderline terfy, as if most of the dungeon meshi mlm shippers aren’t transmascs and lesbians?? I wasn’t a fan of the hostility like lmao it’s cartoons man
2) labru……… I love them….. mostly just post-canon. I really love Kabru (I think he’s my favorite character overall) and I loveeee the poetry of their individual character arcs and how well they play together. Guy who struggles to be honest, even with his own feelings vs Guy who doesn’t even consider being anything except honest. Kabru needing to carefully, painstakingly craft a mask tailored to each individual he interacts with, vs Laios, who is the only one to make all of Kabru’s masks fall apart. Also I think they’re kinda aro about it. They’re really good t4t flavored too.
The main appeal is post-canon. The King and his advisor. His right hand man. But it’s also the way like,,, Laios is DEFINITELY not the one in charge in their relationship dhshshsh (and this is what peeves me about how @myszkaa’s labru comic got memed to hell and back…. they don’t understand the later of comedy is from the KING asking for PRAISE from his SUBORDINATE!!!)
I will say!! This ship has a lot of folks with good takes on it, but it’s not immune to flanderization and boring yaoification. It’s popular enough that there’s enough of the good stuff.
3) chilshi!! I’ll admit this one has less canon validation hdhshsh but I think they have a lot of post-canon potential, and I think their difference in lifespans + the contrast in their lifestyle habits is really interesting and directly addresses a lot of the Dungeon Meshi’s core themes.
Part of the reason I like hanging out with chilshi shippers is cause most of em are chill, more nuanced in discussions, and are actually willing to draw fat & hairy people. And middle aged people.
special mention Kabumisu. I WISH I LIKED THIS ONE MORE!! I’ve tried,,,, I see the potential but I’m so picky about it and most of the content for it does absolutely nothing for me 🙈
Another thing is I HAVE to be able to like a pairing platonically to ship them romantically. Obviously shipping isn’t the only thing that matters to be about dungeon meshi.
I could say a lot more. Feel free to ask about my thoughts 👍
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babsvibes · 11 months ago
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They could get into so many shenanigans as kids!
i wish there was more platonic louise and logan stuff Tbh their dynamic is so silly. they work perfectly as each other's narrative foils
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thesharktanksdriver · 8 months ago
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The star above wano still shining (platonic)
Sorry for the long wait on another determination. I’ve had uni, my wisdom teeth being pulled and other things going on so life has been pretty hectic. I’m still working on the law and Corazon part but somehow wrote this in like 2 days. Sorry if some people are out of character, I haven’t yet made it to wano so I went off of mainly clips online and the one piece wiki. Also I haven’t written in awhile so I’m probably kinda rusty, so sorry for that lol
U guys get some crumbs of lore for waiting so long And As always everything is platonic.
Guess which character is my favourite based on how long their section is lol
Warning: child death, described gore, spoilers for wano, don’t read if you don’t want to be spoiled for some parts of wano. Read at your own risk
𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭: @peachsuka28 @emptynessinmyworld @badluckinfrench @j-s-l-m @tigerfang-rage @madokamagicaa @rymtea @angstylittleb1tch @badluckinfrench @emmbny @kenkenmaaa @yunho-leeknow @chibiduck
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You once remember wano being a place of peace the first time you visited it all those years ago
Roger had went to the country to eventually drop off Oden when the adventure was coming to an end
It was a place you’d considered ever laying low in if the time came
And though it wasn’t a long stay there (maybe only a day or so) you had throughly enjoyed the minimal time of the land in which the sprawling greenery and light pink of Sakura created an indescribable beauty
It had been so long since you’d been there
So much so that you hadn’t realized you had woken up there once more
Wano was shrouded with an air of oppression upon the people you once saw flourish
Oden despite his short time on Roger’s ship had taught you all about the place he called home
And whatever happened here was certainly something that wouldn’t happen under his eye
So you go off to investigate yourself
Feeling yourself drawn somewhere you can’t quite place your finger on
Black Maria
For a long while you walked aimlessly within wano, sticking out like a sore thumb due to your clothing
While everyone else wears kimono’s or yukata’s your just in full on pirate gear
It isn’t exactly the best thing since it seems travellers here weren’t exactly common
So much so that you decided to try and stick to alleyways and quiet streets during the night
But even then the city was bustling, though it did still give a better opportunity to blend in
And it’s there sneaking through alleyways and criss-crossing from place to place you end up behind a brothel
The beautifully dressed women on break taking a look at you with lidded painted eyes that were quickly filled with worry
Bruises and scrapes covering your legs, unwashed hair with things stuck in it along with the clear clothes of a foreigner within the land where no one could leave of get in
The pretty women quickly drag you in the brothel, making sure to avoid occupied rooms and taking you to a spare one as they got to work on sprucing up your appearance
Even giving you a patterned yukata if your own
The hiding your old clothes away beneath the floorboards as they whisper amongst each other
And it’s then after they quickly finished a large blond woman enters through sliding shoji doors
Raging Anger appearing in her eyes before they land on you
A small child with bruises still on your small form and bandages that covered some of your cuts
Her anger disappeared as does the geisha woman who silently gives you a look “don’t tell her”
It is there you meet the woman Black Maria, the owner of this pleasure house and apart of the Beast pirates
You’ve heard of those pirates before, how people shuttered at just the name itself as if it were a curse
But as Maria gently looks you over, large hands examining your bruises with a gentle touch you can’t help but think you probably got lucky
Especially when seeing the initial anger that then bubbled away
Manicured nails making sure not to cause you more harm as she grazes over wounds
It’s there she asks where your parents were and you answer truthfully, that their long gone and it’s been you on your own
You didn’t think it was possible but her eyes softened more, a turquoise blue reminding you of precious jewels
She contemplates for a minute, then eyes then hardening a bit as she asks you if you’d like to work for her as a delivery/message bringer and you agree
Working under Maria is certainly an…odd position
Though you worked delivery for Sengoku at Marineford working for Maria is much different for you
Especially since the horned woman seems to coddle you
When she’s not entertaining customers or doing her work she often spends her time with you
Helping style your hair with ornate hairpins or picking out patterned kimono’s for you to wear
Fretting over your scraped knee’s as she chastises you in being more careful
Teaching you to play the shamisen and being proud when you pick it up with flying colours
Singing you to sleep on the nights you find yourself restless
She reminds you of a mother, maybe not your own but an extremely dotting one
But despite all this you still see some of her cruelty towards others
Though it’s not directed at you, you’ve sometimes run into her punishing others
Getting a sick glee from hearing screams and bones crack beneath flesh
It’s disturbing…especially when she does completely switches when your around
A distinct contrast from the motherly persona she puts on for you
Kissing your forehead good luck in the morning as you set out to deliver before then killing someone in cold blood just minutes later
In some ways it’s terrifying but by now on the sea you’d seen and met so many people that it’s lost its punch it might’ve when you initially set out
So you go off, delivering her letters and such to others in the beast pirates ranks
A golden hairpin of a spider crawling across a branch of flowers added to your obi to signify your protection and status as her messenger
When you come back to her personal residence she pats your head and then tells you to eat up the meal she’d had prepared specially for you
It’s nice, perhaps even a bit nostalgic for you
And after checking you over she sends you to bed in a renovated room she gave you that’s near her own
She says it’s more convenient that way, for you to be onsite and close for when she needs more deliveries
But she doesn’t tell you about how she checks on you in the night when your small cries while asleep can be quietly heard through the thin walls
Doesn’t say how she personally threatened the other commanders that if they lay a single hand on you she’d deal with them herself
Doesn’t admit how she itches with a sort of possessiveness in knowing you work for her when others begin to gain a curious interest in the small fearless child she now calls her own
She likes the gentle feeling of warmth you give her heart
Likes how she can find herself to be kind and caring with you
Enjoys the fact you value her company over business or pleasure
When you smile at her it’s genuine
And the woman who weaves webs decides that one day a new spider would take her place
Perhaps you’d take that role
But for now your her dutiful little messenger
A cute little treasure she’d take good care of and nurture as if you were her own child
Because perhaps she considers you that
When a mother spider catches a brightly shining firefly in her web, she’s hardly content in letting it go after all
“Which would you like for today?” Black Maria questions as she holds out several folded up kimonos. Each look to be high quality, all with patterns and warm comfortable material to protect from the wano weather.
You look up towards her, tilting your head a bit in confusion. “Are you sure I need so many? I’m just your delivery-“
“Don’t be ridicules dear” she cuts you off, then placing a gentle hand on your head. Normally she’d ruffle it but she had already put in the effort of styling it and didn’t want to ruin her work. “You work for me. And I can’t have my precious little messenger underprepared for the weather. Besides, I have plenty spare kimono that are wasting away not being used.”
“I’ve survived with worse before. One time I was forced out in minus 10 weather while in nothing but shorts and a shirt”. That might’ve not have been the best thing you could’ve said cause her expression shifts to horror. “But it’s fine though!-“
She sighs, then lightly flicking your forehead. “Whoever did that to you better be dead or else.” She holds out the kimono again “no ifs, ands or buts. Now pick”. Under her fierce and loving gaze you choose one of the folded bundles, a dark blue kimono with the pattern of fireflies in a field is the one you decide on
Sasaki
You meet the green haired fishman when delivering a letter to him while he was drinking
It was right before your mandatory lunch break Maria practically forces you to have when hearing that you ran around all day without stopping
So after delivering the letter you decided to stay with the relatively laidback looking who invited you to join due to his curiosity
You find Sasaki to be a relatively odd figure, not only for his relatively lax demeanour but also his burning ambition
He wants to become an All-Star within the beast pirates ranks by defeating one and taking their place
As does his colleague Who’s-Who
To be honest you haven’t really cared to learn the hierarchy of this crew
All you knew is that it seemed like these “All-stars” were the highest on the chain besides their captain Kaido
Speaking of which, Sasaki talks about him quite a bit while sipping his sake
The clear alcoholic liquid being chugged as if it were water
Sasaki holds him in a high regard, but for others on the crew…not so much
Sure, there were a few that had earned his respect for them but in others he seemed to find them too haughty
Luckily for you it seems you’ve gotten on his good side
his easygoing and your calm mix well together, a laid back charm between the two of you despite being very different in other regards
It’s due to this that on your breaks the green haired man seeks you out
At first it’s the occasional asking if you’d like to join him for some food as you start your break
But later devolves into practically kidnapping you to join him and his subordinates to party
Typically at parties adults aren’t too keen on letting you sneak some alcohol but the fishman either doesn’t care or thinks it’s funny until Black Maria and more responsible adults are on his ass about it
Speaking of which, Maria can’t help but be a little exasperated that of all people it had to be Sasaki who was the first to get attached to you
Something he rubs in the face of others later on
And uses as a sort of leverage? Your not really sure how that happened but he’s definitely holding that above Who’s-Who and Ulti as if it were a gift from the gods
But either way you find him to be fun, especially when asking him about his devil fruit or his time as his own pirate crew
Both things he talks about in high regard
While on the sea you’d actually heard about his crew, and though you’d never met them it does pique your interest
Especially since how can someone as prideful as Sasaki go from being a captain of his own crew to being an underling to another?
It’s odd
But something kinda intriguing since something like that happens very rarely
Since typically the captain is killed
But instead Sasaki was able to rise in the ranks
He’s not at the top like he wants but it would be somewhat naive to say he isn’t powerful or lucky in his own regard
His devil fruit also interests you cause….dinosaurs!!!
You’d got to see some firsthand on your couple of times waking up on little garden (and then being quickly eaten by said dinosaurs if Dorry and Brogy weren’t there)
But getting to see one that doesn’t actively try to kill you is super cool
Especially since you get to examine without being stomped like a pancake
Sasaki seems to take pride in how amazed you look, especially when you start spewing out Triceratops facts
Some from first hand experience like “did you know they have the capacity to tear off your head if the wanted too-“ and “their hardened skin allows for defence against other predators!”
To be honest after a long while of using his devil fruit the amazement effect of it had worn off
So having someone fawn over it is kinda nice
Sasaki feels appreciated by you, like he’s being listened to when he goes off on a partially drunken regal of his pirates days
And in a similar fashion Sasaki listens to you
For a unassuming kid you talk as if a library of knowledge was directly in your head
Along with that you seem to throw safety to the wind like the time you almost got into an arm wrestling contest with Ulti before he had to drag you away
Because who in their right mind would do that when she for sure would somehow accidentally kill you
You have guts for sure, something he definitely respects
But also leaves him worried shitless because what’s next? King have a tea party with you or something?!
Him and Who’s-Who made bets about whether that would happen or not and he has his good booze on the line if you somehow make that happen
And he prays that won’t happen for not only the sake of his booze and his own sanity
“Oi kid! Wanna join for some lunch?”
“I have one more letter to deliver-“ before you can finish the horned man picks you up by the scruff of your kimono giving a laugh.
“Eh don’t sweat it. I can send someone to do it for you after. You’ve been on your feet all day, you need a break”
Who’s-Who
Similarly to Sasaki, Who’s-Who is a relatively odd but interestingly determined figure
You had delivered stuff to him a few times but actually get to know him through Sasaki’s forced lunch breaks
He’s stone faced at first
But over time you see the chipping away of his somewhat serious disposition
Especially when people seemingly get on his nerves and his anger flares up
He has…quite the barrage of insults, so much so that the typically loose mouthed Sasaki covers your ears
But to be honest you’d probably heard worse with your years on the sea
Anywho (hah) you listen to a lot of his rants about his backstory
Specifically something to do with CP9? It was something government and marine related
Sounded vaguely familiar but to be honest you typically forget about the specifics of most things and people after a certain amount of time
So you just nod along as he keeps going off
Until he starts getting into stuff about history that’s blatantly wrong
Specifically about fishmen
So you correct him and that ends up in a landslide of rebutting his points with hard facts
And in that verbal exchange despite his biting tone you keep calm and explain what was wrong
And seemingly because you stood your ground he gained a liking for you?
Your not sure how but you guessed he thought you’d be a pushover (it depends on the situation)
But for a kid who’s job was being a messenger you seemingly proved yourself to him in some weird convoluted way
Though that might’ve also been because you answered some of his questions about some myths he had been interested in
The sun god and the star god
Apparently he’d heard about the two while in jail, the stories giving him hope of one day being free and having the power to achieve his goals
Two enigmatic beings that surpassed even you in how old they were
Two shining beacons acting as hope for the hopeless and shackled down
Giving people the power to rebel and achieve their dreams
Even you hadn’t heard too much about the two, just odd myths here and there
But with what you did have seemed to satisfy the pink haired man
But that brought up the question of how you knew those myths
Something you don’t really reveal and just write off as “heard it somewhere”
But at this point Who’s-Who didn’t care enough to question it
Let alone try and get you into trouble when you’ve been one of the only people to actually be able to give him more information
So he’s satisfied
At least for now
Sometimes you run into him on your way to deliver things and he joins you for a bit of the way if he has nothing to do
You slow down a bit to a brisk walk as he leisurely follows suit
Conversation following quickly after on a wide variety of topics
He’ll be damned to admit it but your way too good of a kid to be stuck here
Let alone be kinda working for the beast pirates considering their reputation
But he supposes that every has their reasons
And it doesn’t seem like you’d be able to leave anytime soon considering Maria practically dotes on you like your her own flesh and blood
But he won’t say that aloud
Not when the blond woman would throttle him
And you’d probably look at him all confused
For such a mature kid your still pretty naive and clueless in some departments
I mean come on! Do you not see how the scariest woman on the damn island is basically wrapped around your finger
She almost attacked Sasaki for sneaking you some sake and it was only because of you politely asking her not that she didn’t
He’s definitely partially convinced you have some sort of friendship devil fruit or something
That thought is only becoming more prominent when you somehow befriend Ulti
“So you and Sasaki want to become an “All-Star” right? How does that work?”
“Either Kaido elects you himself or you prove yourself by defeating an All-Star and taking their place”
You nod, then asking “so who do you wanna beat?”
He smiles “doesn’t matter, as long as I become an All-Star is the goal”
Ulti
The cutesy and hot tempered young lady is one you run into by accident since Maria didn’t trust that she wouldn’t blow a fuse somehow if you had to deliver a letter to her
But nether the less you both meet
And seemingly like Black Maria she finds you to be cute
Which means you have less of a chance to be victim to being attacked by her unless you reallly provoked her somehow
But luckily you haven’t! Especially when you can see subtly gestures as to when she gets irritated
She gets volatile pretty quick but it’s just as easy to be able to calm her down when you call her “lady Ulti”
She seems to like the idea of being a polite lady of high society and maturity
So much so that when she’s not angry she tries to fit this image
And she also seems to like cutsy girlish things
Both of which you indulge her in which gets you in her good graces much to everyone’s shock and amazement
To be honest you don’t really get the deal? This might be you just being desensitized to this kinda stuff but she’s honestly not to hard to deal with
Calling her “lady Ulti” or buying her a few cute charms with some of the money Black Maria gives you seems to placate her anger in most instances
Something that others seem to be thankful for
Though she’s a fierce-some pirate with a temper she also enjoys some of the more simple things in life
She likes to have tea parties with you and do mundane things like shopping or having her hair braided
Perhaps due to being the older sister and caretaker to her brother after their father died she hadn’t had much a childhood to experience such things
Not that you mind, you can’t even really remember your childhood before taking to the sea
Your parents faces blurred and distorted, voices lost like whispers in the wind, their warm hugs dissipated into cold nothingness
So you enjoy your time with her, reliving a time of innocent happiness just as she does
She gets a bit over excited at times not realizing her strength like the time she almost crushed your spine in a hug
But she slowly begins to realize how in comparison your much more fragile than her and others around her
Page one definitely helps her with this quite a bit, especially considering she was like this when they were kids and back then she also had to regulate her strength around people (aka him with her death hugs)
Speaking of her brother she actually pretty happy she’s found a friend?
He’s not really sure how it happened but he’s genuinely happy for her, (also cause she doesn’t cling to him as much, she still does occasionally but now your her main target lol)
She acts a lot like how a sister would
Though she’s sometimes bratty she’s still caring and mischievous in a fun way
Often dragging you away to play games or browse through the shops nearby
It’s honestly pretty nice (when she’s not angry)
But with this comes some genuine moments with her
After their dad died Kaido had taken her and Page one in
As the eldest she decided she needed to step up
And while she did do that she felt like she lost time in enjoying her childhood, of spending time with her brother and forming genuine connections
Being in the beast pirates is a constant power struggle
People always trying to climb to the top no matter the cost
She’s lost a portion of herself in establishing stability for both herself and Page one
Now trying to make up for it even if he saw her clingy affection as annoying
Because at heart she does care
She cares a lot about the few who’ve made the effort to see her
And even if she snaps like a twig when things don’t go her way she doesn’t really mean to
It’s just how she reacts and she can’t really hone it back despite her attempts to do so
But you see that when others don’t
And she deeply appreciates it in her own way
So when she barges in and takes you shopping it’s her trying to show how she appreciates the efforts
Or when she picks you up and sits you atop her shoulder so you can see above the crowd and not get lost
Black Maria is certainly in for a surprise when she finds the two of you having a tea party but decidedly joins in
It’s odd seeing Ulti so happy without snapping in the span of a few minutes but Maria is pleasantly impressed
Though she does get a bit annoyed when Ulti then starts hounding her to send more letters so she has more excuses to play Hanafuda with you (you let her win each time)
Everyone seems to pity your eardrums for when she squeals in joy
“Hey lady Ulti, do you wanna get matching Omamori charms?” You say holding up two of the small luck charms, she turns to you eyes widening with delight.
“Kya!! Really!”
“Sure, it’s why I asked”
Yamato
You met Yamato completely by accident not knowing who he was or why he was in the walls
But at this point you don’t question anything as he freezes in place and you just ask “yo…are you alright? Should I go orrrrr?” In which shakes his head
And then you leave
But then a few days later he finds you while on your way back to Black Maria’s
In which he talks to you
In many ways you find Yamato to be aspiring as you feel his determination burn brightly and strong
He’s faced adversity yet he stands tall admits it all
And….well seeing him idolize Oden and even pick up his mannerism is kinda oddly comforting to you
It must have been years (how many exactly you don’t know) since you last saw Oden but it feels like yesterday
You remember talking with him on the Jolly Roger
Remember him regaling proudly of his homeland and of the Whitebeard pirates who welcomed him aboard
Remember his goodbye to the Roger crew and his joyous hug before stepping off the ship into what now feels like a shadow of what used to be his home
And now your faced with someone who acts like him
Oden was a friend who felt like an old one despite how little time he truly spent with you
And as quickly as he came into your life he was gone like many others you’d met, and all the same it stings and burns like acid
You’d never met his family like he promised
Never had that giant feast he promised Shanks, Buggy and you when you’d all visit
Never got to fulfil in fully raising Momonosuke
Never had the chance in fulfilling his life before his spark was snuffed out
But as you talk more with the young prince you see that while he isn’t Oden himself it certainly feels like in some sense your talking a bit to Oden again
Seeing how Yamato seemingly fights against his father
Against all those you’d somehow come to know while technically working for the beast pirates is inspiring
Especially considering how strong they all are
You didn’t need to see them fight to know how powerful even non All-Stars were
I mean, Kaido wouldn’t be named an “emperor” of the sea and was able to conquer a nation if he wasn’t a powerhouse
Yet Yamato keeps fighting
Because Yamato wouldn’t back down…no he couldn’t back down
Just like Oden wouldn’t
You have to sneak out to hang out with the red horned prince but no one really bats an eye
Not when they just assume your being a kid
So at night Yamato and you hang out
And you tell him your experiences with Oden yourself
And much to your surprise he believes you
He believe you wholeheartedly so much so that it makes you confused
Until he pulls out an old book, partially withered by age yet loved and cared for to keep its contents in surviving longer
And in that book in which Oden wrote while on the high sea with the likes of Whitebeard and Roger
He mentioned a young sailor child that was on Roger’s ship, one he nicknamed within the book as “Chīsana hoshi”
Little star
An affectionate nickname the Daimyo would give to you
The mysterious child whom told stories of the stars and of tales untold
One with what felt like great burning stars in their eyes and wormed their way into the hearts of many
One that sang with the sea and knew secrets untold
To be honest you’d be more touched by the sentiment if Oden didn’t tact on to the end a stick figure drawing of you
Cause wow….for someone who was well educated and wrote so eloquently he really just outed you with a stick figure
Speaking of which, you’d gone years without there being proper photos or drawings of you to escape the world governments attention
But it’s a stick figure
A god damn stick figure
You can’t tell if your upset or kinda impressed
Either way it’s safe to say that Yamato hounds you with questions
But you can’t say you don’t enjoy it as it refreshes your memory a bit
Something you never mind especially when you find yourself remembering details your quickly forgetting over the years
And Yamato seems to notice this as you go blank for a few seconds trying to remember
The slow look of horror as you find yourself not being able to recall some moments
Some things completely lost to the static of your mind and time
And the ecstatic enthusiasm faded from Yamato seeing how broken down the more you try to recall
And realizing you can’t
So he instead shifts the topic
Talking about his yearning for freedom
Anything to take your mind off remembering
And it doesn’t work until he mentions a catalyst to this
Ace
“Ace…as in Portgas Ace?” You question warily watching as Yamato’s expression lights up. He practically springs up, taking out a small piece of paper you recognize as a vivre card
“You know him!” He exclaims excitedly.
“Yeah i helped raise him” you say pulling out the small sun charm as Yamato’s eyes widen in surprise.
“WHAT?!?”
King
Once more you meet him via deliveries but Maria gives you a fair warning about him
Announce your presence and do not go in without his permission lest you end up as ash pile on the ground
Fun
Though probably not one of the worst ways to die
You’d know that personally
But anyways you end up where his office should be
Never going this far into the fortress before now
To be honest the layout was a bit confusing but you made your way after asking a few passerby’s for directions
Them then giving you pitied stares as you go on your way
This guy can’t be that bad right?
And then arrive at the office announcing yourself with mail for him from Miss Black Maria
Keeping the honourifics just in case
For a moment there’s silence and then you hear movement
And the squeaking of something?
Why was there squeaking? Was he in leather pants or something-
And then the shoji doors open
And wow…..you didn’t expect that
Is he in…did you interrupt him or something???!??!
Your staring at this leather wearing head to toe dude with spikes and shit and- did he have a live flame in his back??
Yeah…this is weird even for you and that’s saying something
You hand him the letter and quickly scurry off
Not noticing the flame above him shining a bit brighter than usual
But he does
That’s Odd? Is what he notes to himself
When you deliver to him again it’s relatively the same routine as last time
Though you notice he pays closer attention
Watches your uncomfortable expression as you wait for him to take the letter and let you leave already
And when he does you scurry off again
For some reason though it happens again
His plume burning brighter than it usually would, an almost golden yellow colour rather than the typically orange and red he was used to
That hadn’t happened before
And now looking at it again did the fire begins to change shape?
But that….no he muses to himself that can’t be
It sounds vaguely familiar to something he once heard before the testing and before he lost his homeland
A legend whispered as comfort from a mother he can’t remember in his sleep
Something about a star and its burning flames
But king shakes his head
He’s suspicious but he doesn’t have much to go off now especially since the legends of his people are mostly lost
Besides not even he can remember the myths of his home
Barely old enough to even walk before being stripped of it and shipped off by the world government for testing
He wouldn’t be able remember much let alone remember it actively
Let alone know about a god they used to worship when barely anything is known of them compared to that of Joyboy
Plus your just some kid Maria took pity on, one that a few of the others seemed to have also taken a liking to
Nothing more and nothing less
But something deep in him told him the opposite
Like a small lick of a flame from a candle in the dark
A quiet glow in the sea of shadows
Faint and minuscule but there
Like a single star in the midnight sky, there shining but small and alone
…or at least that’s what this emotional constipated bird man says at first
Because you had apparently survived your delivery to King without being turned to ash has led to other messages being sent through Maria to you to him
Maria was enraged at first but you somehow talked her into it along with the fact that she gets more profit by charging for this service
Soo…. You end up meeting the learning wearing giant of a man
And somehow make conversation with him
To be honest not even he’s sure how it happened
It just did
Cause he asked about how your parents felt about this and it went into a long discussion with you
Specifically about how
A) their dead
B) you don’t remember them
And C) it’s been so long on your own you didn’t even remember where your home was
All of which he understands more than anyone else
To be honest that small question opened a floodgate in him he didn’t expect nor want
But either way it was opened and he couldn’t close it
Because every time he looks at you now he sees himself
Eyes that have seen too much for their age
Eyes that used to be wide and full of wonder reduced to that of tired ones
But unlike him at that age you don’t have the resenting anger he did
To be fair he perhaps had more to be angry about yet it also leaves him confused
How did you turn out the way you did despite it all?
A child who ended up in one of the worse environments possible yet thrives
A child who befriended or got on the good sides of notorious criminals and killers
A child despite seemingly loosing everything still keeping the spark to still find happiness
He sees in which you enjoy the rain despite the cold chill it leaves and the threat of sickness
Watches as you feed your packed bento from Maria’s cooks to a murder of crows even when your stomach grumbles
Observes while you keep strumming a guitar or keep walking even when your feet or fingers bleed
In a lot of ways your like him yet also the complete opposite
And it leaves him confused
And makes him watch
And-
“You don’t have to watch from the shadows you know?” You say not looking up from feeding your crow as he perches on your outstretched finger. You sit on the edge of the railing of a balcony, dangerously close to falling with a simple breeze “I don’t mind the company”
“You noticed me?” The lunarian man mumbles walking out from the doorway and stands by the rail as you continue to feed the bird. He watches the small winged creature, it caws in curiosity at his arrival and tilts its head curiously at the sight of his similar wings.
“You’re not too hard to notice to be fair….but it was your flame that sounded me off. It’s subtle but it’s there” you turn to look at him, petting the feathered little friend. “You notice that kinda thing after a while of being on your own. Even the smallest shift in the wind can alert your mind, giving the hope that someone else was there…but I get the feeling you know that already”
“I do”
A smile appears across your face. “Great minds think alike” your tone is somewhat joyous yet he hears a somewhat sad edge “don’t they Reggie?”
“Reggie? Is that the bird?”
“Yep, raised him and the flock myself!”
“You…raised them all?” Red eyes look out to nearby tree’s, at least 40 beady eyes stare out at him.
“Found them half dead after some villagers tried to kill them. Bad luck or whatever, but sounds like whack superstitions to me” you hold out Reggie to him (leaving out that these were the descendants of those same birds) “wanna hold him?”
King reluctantly takes the bird, the small gentle creature hopping onto his finger. It reacts….positively to him? Much to his surprise. King goes silent for a few moments, watching the midnight feathered bird then rubs its head against him. “I’m confused about you”
“Oh?”
“How are you the way are despite everything?” It’s a broad question “aren’t you angry at the world?”
You give a laugh “of course I’m angry. It took a long time to realize I was, so much had happened to me” you go a bit quiet at the last part but suddenly perk up again as you add “but I’ve met so many good people, seen so many beautiful things. And maybe…just maybe that makes me more content than it does angry. Don’t get me wrong, I still get upset but I have people there for me, some kinda healthy ways to deal with it I guess”
Reggie nudges king as the All-Star goes a bit quiet watching as you then stand on the balcony railing. He quirks an eyebrow beneath his mask, what are you doing-
“Wanna see something cool?” Before he can answer you raise out your arms leaning back dangerously, things practically go in slow motion for him as he races to grab you before you can do your trick
“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?, do you have a death wish or something?!?”
“death isn’t that bad? There are worse things than death, believe me. But I was gonna-“ dear gods if he didn’t have white hair already then it would be after that
After that king for some reason keeps thinking about that moment
More specifically your mindset of death
And what the fuck have been through?
But he’s not wondering that in concern of course (definitely not)
More-so curiosity and how it could benefit Kaido (of course)
So he keeps thinking about it
And you
And ends up worrying that you’ll do something stupid again so he goes to find you
And make sure you didn’t do something stupid again that killed you
And wondering if you know how many near misses with death you have on a daily basis
So he goes back to watching silently
And…then joining you when you point out you know he’s there
And it’s not his fault that you seem to ease up to his company
And that you aren’t as annoying as his colleagues (when your not doing near death stupid shit)
And-
Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
He quite literally goes through the 5 stages of grief
First is denial, of course he didn’t care for you
You were just some kid Maria employed and it was just more convenient to make sure you stayed alive- oi why the fuck is queen trying to drag you on stage for his stupid concert
Second is anger, and he’s unsure if he’s angry at you, himself or the situation because honestly how could he possibly somehow get attached to a kid of all things?! Let alone a weird one that seemingly relates to….him and loosing a home he doesn’t remember
Third is bargaining, no! He’s in control here! He’s can just stop talking with you and stop worrying….wait didn’t you just say you were gonna go out in the beast infested forest
Fourth is depression, because oh god he’s attached. The literal only other person he’s attached to is Kaido for obvious reasons. He didn’t think he needed other attachments to others but now he cares and god does it suck when you a god damn extrovert who’s also a magnet for trouble
And finally is acceptance, because he’s attached now god damn it and it’s simultaneous yours and (mostly) his problem
To be honest you don’t really mind at this point
Coming to enjoy his more quiet company after getting over his…odd attire (something which you now poke at him for)
Plus his wings and fire was cool
Oh! And his rad devil fruit too!!!
Dinosaurs were cool in general so it’s definitely an A+ in your books
Not gonna lie the dichotomy of chill sweet kid that everyone has a soft spot for and literally the scariest dude out there is one you find hilarious
Especially after you walked past a confused Sasaki who got a “yo” from you and a death glare from king
It definitely causes heads to turn while king doesn’t care you just find it funny as hell
You find him to be like…a scary big brother
Sure, he rolls his eyes sometimes at your jokes but you know he cares in his own ways when he stopes you from falling down another flight of stairs Cora-style
He seems to express this by just being around you, listening and protecting you
It’s nice
And also gives you the warning that he’s more attentive than most others
Honestly he seems to have a sixth sense for when you try and hide yet another scrape or cut
Like you could have the smallest splatter of mud on your kimono and he’s already figured out you fell earlier
and then calling you an idiot before dragging you to the nearest doctor employed by his crew
It’s honestly impressive and a bit worrying
So you definitely are careful about some of the things you say
But you still tell him stories
Regal your woes of adventures but frame them as being on Wano
And he listens to them all the same
Soaking up your words
One day you give to him a charm fashioned of moonstones, a small piece of gold you carved into a small star,and spare feathers of your crows whom had come to immediately love him (especially perching on his shoulders for warmth)
And in return he give you one of his feathers, one freshly plucked from his wing that you later turn into an earring
What you don’t know is that of the little things he’s remembered of his home is that the gift you gave him was something akin to a lunarian’s gift towards a close friend
He knows at this point with his flame still turning a bright gold and changing shape it can’t be coincidence
But for now he leaves it be
That can be answered later
Especially when for once King feels like Alber again
A lone boy who lost his home who yearned to find someone like him
And though he didn’t find another Lunarian he found someone else instead
But that was fine for him
“This may be a weird question, but do you ever wish you could fly high enough to touch the stars?” You asked one night looking up towards a brightly shining night sky.
Alber looks up for a moment wings involuntarily flexing at the thought of it “it’s all I ever wanted”. It had been a dream of his ever since he had been locked away and prodded at, to fly so high to the stars that would comfort him with their warmth compared to his barely flickering flame. To let a god whose name he can’t remember hear his prayers.
You both share this silent moment both realizing something about the other
For you it’s how his flame shines a light gold, dancing as they formed a familiar four pointed star you’d yet to forget
While for him it’s the fact that for a moment he sees in the depths of yours eyes the brightest star in the sky that used to reside over his home
Queen
Once more you get a warning from Black Maria about him and you think it can’t possibly be more weird than king
You walk in on this dude having a full on concert whilst the crowd of beast pirates roar in cheers for him
Somehow you begin to believe that maybe Kaido hires the most insane weirdo’s out there
Like Roger literally sometimes found random people on the street and asked them to join
But this, this is a new level of finding people
He also gives you kinda off vibes
So you stay clear, handing the note to one of his men and asking forgot it to be delivered when his performance was done
Dodged a bullet there
Though you would admit his song was kinda catchy
…separate the art from the artist? Nah, he probably did some war crimes or worse
Next time your not so lucky though
Catching him just before his concert as apparently one of the lead guitarist flunked out due to being too hungover
Queen, not being to keen to really talk to anyone because this would fuck up his concert and he was very very fucking upset over that
Like borderline really dramatically upset about it
I mean, you guess you can’t blame him but still
He was taking it a bit far by throwing someone against the wall though
You’d rather not start a civil war if Black Maria heard he accidentally squished you like a stress toy so you step up instead
Taking the lone guitar held up by a relatively scared pirate and take a Quick Look at the sheet to memorize it after a minute or two
Looks like your deliveries would be on a bit of a pause until this was done
You just thank whatever gods there are that Maria is a forgiving boss (to you at least) and that over your many years alone on the barren sea you picked up just about every instrument you could and mastered them (partially to pass time and keep sane)
Though this was also partially due to Brook and the Rumbar pirates
Turning to the still scared shitless assistant yelling at him to tell you what you need to play
Which seemingly gets the attention of the large blond who was now looking down at your curiously
Picking you up by the scruff (why did everyone do that and why was everyone so damn tall here???) to get a proper look at you
Inquisitively trying to figure out just exactly who you were before seeing the hairpin Maria gave you
But then that brings up new questions
Ones he’s about to ask before you tell him that you’d fill in for the first half of the show as long as he’d get someone for the second half and take the mail you have for him
He quirks a brow asking if your any good
And just say that your rusty but good enough to get the job done
With that he puts you down, somewhat relived that at least you’d be somewhat competent
And with that the crowd keeps cheering waiting for him to come on stage
You tie up the sleeves of your kimono for more movement and ready your hand movements
It’s been awhile since you played guitar or even a bass but it would have to do
You would always prefer you ukulele anyways but you were decent with other instruments
So with that you enter the stage via a staircase up and through a side door
Just before queen is literally launched on stage
And then you begin as the crowd goes wild
Typically when you’d play you were by yourself so you could never really gauge how good you were
Like sure, you could sometimes see your progress but in other times it all sounded and played the same
In a sense it was lonely but filling at the same time
You were always a solo, yet it filled the sound of the quiet waves and relative silence you’d normally experience
A silence that sometimes became chilling as you laid there
Days to weeks on end
With no one
With nothing but memories
With nothing but your mind to fill it
It’s why you had found yourself taking to so many hobbies
If only to fill time and oblivion
You’d hands move on their own as you pick up on what was slowly lost to you
Becoming more complicated and impressive as you find yourself having fun with it
You even pull off a few tricks if only to make the show better
Might as well show off a little when you have people to show off too
Queen keeps singing as do the chorus of fans
Eh screw it
Lifting the guitar behind your head is more a challenge due to its weight rather than you playing it
You’d perfected the party trick after many many many attempts and practice
And after a moment of getting used to it again the muscle memory kicked in
The crowd goes wild and your not sure if it’s from Queen or your performance
Probably Queen
You close your eyes in concentration
It was easier that way when getting into the groove of it for you
Closing your eyes and concentrating
Just letting yourself play as the world around you faded out into a darkness that you’ve familiarized yourself with
Keep going even if your sweating buckets
Keep playing even if your things go numb and bleed
You dealt with worse
There was that time your hand was chopped off and you were left to die
To bleed out
You know the feeling Almost intimately
The pain
The drowsiness
The want for sleep
And then finish
Your hand strums down and the final cord rings out
You open your eyes and ears to the crowd silent for a moment
And staring at you
As does Queen and the others on the stage
Wow were you that bad-
Deafening cheers then ring out and you stand there looking around confused for a moment
Then spotting the new guitarist frozen and almost paper white, he must’ve been horrified at your performance
Hand him the guitar you pat his back
Giving him a small smile and a “break a leg out there” before rummaging through your pockets to hand Queen the letter
You look to the still cheering crowd and their hands already raised to catch you
Giving a peace sign to performers on stage and then you dive into the crowd
Letting them throw you into the air before catching you again multiple times, then eventually get you to the door
Not long later Queen tries to get you to sign a “music deal”?
Your not sure what that is but King quickly intercepted by kicking the door down and burning said paper
He’s still trying to get you to preform again
“If you think that was good, you should see my ukulele game. It’s my favourite” you say picking up the same guitar you preformed with last time, distantly in the crowd you see Sasaki, Who’s-Who and Ulti who seemingly dragged along Page One.
“Kid, I don’t think that will make you much money” Queen responds as he readies himself
“It’s not about money, it’s for fun. Besides, I’m not that good at guitar anyways”
“Say that to the crowd”
Kaido
While staying in wano and traversing the place of the beast pirates home you’ve noticed an odd pulling sensation
You noticed it when you first came to wano, but as you got closer to the layer of beasts it got stronger
Pulling and directing you deeper into the almost literal lions den
You’d yet to find out what it was but you’d sometimes come closer to it
As if it moved within this place
But today you’d have the opportunity to perhaps find it, apparently Maria wanted to drag you along to a meeting issued by Kaido himself
Why? Well you weren’t all that sure but it was something along the lines of Kaido’s curiosity and her deciding that it was best for you to get more Involved
Whatever that meant
You had the feeling she was wanting you to officially join
Something of which that others seemed to agree on
Normally when this would happen you’d have somehow died or run away but…your not sure what’s holding you back this time
Maybe it’s that mysterious pull
That’s what you chalk it up to yet you know there are other reasons
Maria for sure is one
King is another
Both for some reason are people you can’t quite want to say goodbye to
But you know it will come eventually
So you push the thoughts away for later
Maria eagerly dresses you up today, doing your hair with the upmost precision
Gently directing your head while she adds she light touches of makeup
She looks proudly at her work (or is it you?) before explaining what the meeting was about…pirates politics or something
You didn’t really get it but just nodded along as she giggled
Booping your nose and saying all you had to do was just be there
Which you were more than fine with
So you go with her
Deeper into Kaido’s territory
That odd pull getting greater and at the same time somehow weaker
Like a frequency on a radio
You hadn’t even noticed it but your now at the door to the meeting room
King crouched down to be closer to your eye level asking if your ok
You haven’t even noticed how much of a daze you were in
You nod, just saying your alright
He accepts it but clearly still has a bit of worry
And in you enter
Everyone but Kaido inside
Page one being Ashley’s with hugs by Ulti
Sasaki and Who’s-who glaring daggers as Queen and then King
Maria has you sit down beside her, cooing over how adorable you apparently look
Ulti then joining in
Other in the room giving you pitied stares
But that’s before shoji doors slide open
And everyone straightens in their seats
For a moment there is silence
And then
You hear your name
Looking up you catch eyes with the somewhat elusive Kaido but for a man who’s said to be bloodthirsty and stoic his face is molded into that of guilt?
Guilt, surprise and perhaps a tinge of sadness
Everyone’s eyes are on you now but all you can focus on is Kaido’s
Pools of gold tinged with recognition
He knows you
Or rather knew you
You try to think back
He knows you, you must’ve met him before but…you don’t remember
you didn’t remember him…..
You don’t remember
You don’t remembeṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t remembė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t rememb̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t remem̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t reme̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t rem̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t re̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don’t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don ̴̛̺̋́͌̌̓̍̃̇̂t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You don̷̡̰̰̳̳̥̲͎̅̒’̴̛̺̋́͌̌̓̍̃̇̂t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You dơ̶̗̱̅̑̒̅͂n̷̡̰̰̳̳̥̲͎̅̒’̴̛̺̋́͌̌̓̍̃̇̂t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
You d̵̯̰̈́̐̈ͅơ̶̗̱̅̑̒̅͂n̷̡̰̰̳̳̥̲͎̅̒’̴̛̺̋́͌̌̓̍̃̇̂t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
Yoų̶̛͚͈̫̯̻̩͙̍̾͠ ̷͍͇̮̙̼͙̤̜͊́͗̓͠d̵̯̰̈́̐̈ͅơ̶̗̱̅̑̒̅͂n̷̡̰̰̳̳̥̲͎̅̒’̴̛̺̋́͌̌̓̍̃̇̂t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
Yö̶̹͕̩͓͉̤̲̟̟́̾͜ų̶̛͚͈̫̯̻̩͙̍̾͠ ̷͍͇̮̙̼͙̤̜͊́͗̓͠d̵̯̰̈́̐̈ͅơ̶̗̱̅̑̒̅͂n̷̡̰̰̳̳̥̲͎̅̒’̴̛̺̋́͌̌̓̍̃̇̂t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
Y̸̢̰̼̟̱͉̏̇͊͠ö̶̹͕̩͓͉̤̲̟̟́̾͜ų̶̛͚͈̫̯̻̩͙̍̾͠ ̷͍͇̮̙̼͙̤̜͊́͗̓͠d̵̯̰̈́̐̈ͅơ̶̗̱̅̑̒̅͂n̷̡̰̰̳̳̥̲͎̅̒’̴̛̺̋́͌̌̓̍̃̇̂t̸̺̪͈͔̮̫̉͊͆̓́̔̎͘͝ ̸̮̓́̎̊̉̕͘͠r̵̬͈̣̭̎̾̔͗̓̕͜e̸̤̎m̴͕͈̥̣͌͑̈̚e̵̢̟̤̠̥̓m̴̨̛̼̺̤͙̑̿͗̔̉̀͜b̶̧̝̕ė̵̡̬̰͓̜͚̰̤̯̈́̀̒̎ṙ̶̖͖͍͖̺̹̗̘͖̔͜
Your forgetting more and more
You know some things have been a bit foggy but you didn’t think you’ve forgotten someone again
How many times this has happened you’re not sure, is this the first? Or one of many?
You didn’t want to forget
But you had already forgotten your parents
Your home that now resembles an empty house within your mind
The distinct smell of something wafting in the air that’s familiar and sweet and warm and forgotten to your taste buds
Their voices muffled like hearing them rooms away, hearing but never distinguishing just what their saying
Your neighbour’s like blots of colour through the window as they tend a garden
Your old friends…..But did you have any in the first place?
You don’t know
You don’t know the answer to any of those questions anymore
But with the look in his eyes he knows you
But you don’t know him
And some sort of fear wraps around your heart
Squeezing it
Sweat running down your shaking form
Like a fawn in the jaws of a bear
Your head pounds with unease
You don’t know what to do
What are you supposed to say? Sorry I can’t remember you cause I’ve lived so long that I’ve began to forget stuff?!?
What do you do?!?
His eyes says he wants answers but even if you give him one you see the outcome
You see a possessiveness
Like a dragon and a horde
You’ll be stuck here like wano’s resident with the only difference in your case being that your given a special status
Like a prized pet
So
You run
Maybe it’s the cowards way out but this was coming either way
No matter how hard it always is
You knew this wasn’t forever and now your forced to do this
You have to die yet once more
Running through the halls with Kaido and many of his commanders on your tail isn’t a fun experience
But your small
And quick
And have ran for your life too many times to know your advantages here
Ducking and slide across wooden floors
You manage to loose them all after a small bit of running
Them splitting up to find you quicker
It’s too bad it ended up like this
Too bad you couldn’t leave on good terms
Or find that pull
But now comes the end
It’s ironic that it’s the balcony you sat on with king that one day
One that you were gonna jump off of regardless but now it’s not a trick where your crows would’ve caught you
And it’s even more iconic now that it’s king that notices you stand and then fall from that edge
But like before he catches you
Hand grabbing yours in an iron grip
His flame sparking up intensely
Your not sure what he’s feeling or what he’s saying
All you can focus on is static
And saying a small “I’m sorry” before slashing his hand with Maria’s hairpin
It cuts at the leather, for a moment you feel his human skin before you slip
Let go
And fall
His flame sparks up once more coming to the shape of that familiar four pointed star you’d see in moments once more
Gold light engulfing your vision
There’s a crack and then pain
And laying on the cold hard ground as blood pools
Reaching a bloody hand up you hold a small spark
Warm and familiar as you feel Maria pick you up in her own
It’s odd but she had been the closest thing you could compare to a mother
You wish you could’ve told her that but the spark holds your attention
Cradled in your palm
You bring it close to your chest in which it collides with
Sparks shoot out at the collision
Before a calm washes over you as cracks begin to form and you break away
“Oden?”
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jimilter · 15 days ago
Text
on the borderline — 05 | pjm. (m)
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Park Jimin has been your buoy, your anchor and the ship of sanity that guides you to shore amid storms of self-doubt, nearly all your life; as have you been his. That is not to say nothing has ever brewed beneath the surface of platonic friendship, or that the two of you have never been victims to mistiming. Regardless, you would never risk the friendship you have with him now for anything. Even if you have to hurt him – or even yourself – in the process.
pairing: jimin x reader
rating: m (18+)
genre: angst | drama | friends to lovers!au
word count: 7.6 k
— warnings: swearing + repeated mention & description of sex (some gets detailed and explicit, hence the rating!) + mention of a past toxic relationship + perhaps a present toxic relationship? + the worst kind of emotional constipation + misunderstandings + lies and pretense +one-sided feelings + reader is a bigger mess + jimin is a mess too :/
— note: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2025, PEOPLE! <3 it was excruciating getting back into this one but it was also kinda therapeutic bec real life has been whooping my ass :( i have begun writing the sixth part too bec i truly forreal wish to complete this series without taking another year helP!
ps. the rating, genre and warnings mentioned above pertain to this chapter, only.
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𝐕 ⇢ 𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 ♪ between heaven and disaster
07:03 AM | Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 hey sorry i missed all your calls and texts :( i figured u would ask abt seokjin and the date and i kinda didn’t wanna talk abt it not necessarily in a bad way just a “let me figure it out first” way which still doesn’t excuse ghosting u so i AM rly sorry :( how was your flight? and the dinner meeting?
07:16 AM ↳ SHE LIVES!!!!!! ↳ Good morning Grumpkincess <3 ↳ All that you said about your date has just made 1000x curious now yk ↳ Oh, and I had a horrible flight ↳ My partner drooled on my $70 shirt 😭 ↳ Barely had time to change it before our meeting at 4 UGH
Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 good morning WHAT now ? that better not be a new pet name park jimin
↳ Yes it is, Grumpkincess ↳ A grumpy pumpkin princess ↳ Adorable right?
Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 ykw your cringe ass deserved getting your shirt ruined karma 🖕
↳ Ihy 🖕 ↳ Ok enough of this can we pls talk???
Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 ??? are we not talking?
Jimin rears back from his phone almost violently. Did you, of all people, really just imply that texting is equivalent to talking? He is pretty sure that of the entire time that the two of you have lived in separate towns, you have spent more than half of it on video calls with each other.
That is talking for the two of you.
Or at least it used to be, before he got onto this flight which has apparently landed him in some parallel universe. 
He immediately sits up in bed and calls you.
And you immediately disconnect the call.
What?
His jaw is still dropped when his phone vibrates in his palm again, indicating an incoming voice call from you. Scowling, Jimin nearly whines a what the fuck into the phone.
“I look like dogshit, dude, please,” you groan from your end.
“Seriously? You’re telling me you won’t show me your face because you look bad?” Rolling his eyes, Jimin reclines on his bed, a little assured at hearing your voice but also a little confused by your words. “Dude. I’ve seen you with puke all over your clothes, I’ve seen you with cum on your face, I’ve seen you with a black eye, I’ve seen you with—”
“Okay, I get it!” you interrupt with another groan. “I feel like dogshit, then. Is that better?”
Now he is concerned. “No. Obviously. How can that be better? Babe, what’s going on? You’re being…”
“Weird? Bitchy? Whiny? Annoying?”
“No, just…” He bites his bottom lip. “A little unlike yourself.”
“Wow, that's worse.” You give a small sigh. “I’ll be fine, I just need to recalibrate my head. Don't worry.” 
How can he not worry when you sound this tired and timid? Jimin almost wants to ask if Seokjin has something to do with it. But then his brain starts to conjure up images featuring exactly how that man could have tired you out and that leaves a bad taste in his mouth, followed by a series of negative emotions that make his heart race and his head hurt.
He went through this same series of emotions last evening, too, when you didn’t respond to his messages. He doesn’t want to give himself enough time to analyze any part of it, though, because he isn’t ready to face what he might uncover.
“How can I help?” he ends up asking, because putting his mind to literally anything else would be better than self-introspection right now.
You don’t respond immediately and everything is so quiet that Jimin can hear your breathing on the other side. Then you hum. “Honestly? Just give me a little time, Min. I’ll be fine.”
“Time? As in…time away from this conversation?”
“Yes, dork. Some time by myself, with my thoughts.” You chuckle as you say the words but Jimin doesn’t find them funny. 
He swallows the tight discomfort in the back of his throat and scoffs in response, though. “Well, okay then. Your funeral. And here I was thinking I will tell you about this weirdly snobbish butler-assistant guy the clients brought with them to the meeting last night.”
“Wait, butler-assistant?” You exclaim with a curious scoff, and Jimin smiles at the spark of the familiar humour that tinges your voice. “What the fuck is that?”
“Escapes me! They had this Alfred lookalike guy driving their limo, who joined in when they sat at the table with us, and—get this—dude kept interrupting me to tell his boss the time every fifteen minutes! What fucking clownery!” Jimin pauses to inhale, slightly disappointed when he hears you give a distant chuckle. You’re not invested. Your head’s somewhere else. He doesn’t want to share his story anymore. “I might sock him in the face if pulls that shit again, today.”
You give a hum in response, which sounds decidedly half-hearted. “I’m sure your intimidating scowls would’ve scared him away already, Min. He probably won’t join your meeting today.”
Jimin’s mouth slowly parts at the unfamiliarity of your remark. You never miss any opportunity to roast him about being a pacifist. How did you allow his claim of throwing a punch to go by so easily? 
And intimidating scowls? What happened to calling them ‘little bitch stare-downs’?
First you refuse to show him your face, sticking to this annoying voice call that’s overheating his phone because he doesn't have his airpods with him right now, and then you’re talking in a language that is so unlike you.
The discomfort in the back of his throat swells into a strange feeling that reaches the pit of his stomach.
“Yeah, I hope so… Sure.” His words come out low, hoarse and confused. So he clears his throat and puts a grin on his face. “Anyways! You sound like you need a fat nap to function like yourself again – I'll allow you to have that.”
“Mm-hm, I agree.” It could be his imagination, but you sound almost relieved. “I’ll call you soon, okay? Say hi to Tara for me.”
Jimin grunts and disconnects the call, immediately tossing his phone away as if it has personally offended him. Well maybe not the device, but the caller certainly has.
Just then, the door to the suite’s balcony opens and shuts, footsteps making their way to the other twin bed opposite the one he's lying on. He's almost counting down the seconds before a comment is made, and he doesn't have to wait long, when:
“Trouble in paradise?” comes Min Yoongi's taunting lilt.
Exhaling in ire, Jimin rolls his eyes. “For the last time: there’s no paradise to trouble, Yoongi.”
“You know what I mean, dude. You look worried. And frustrated. It's got to be about…her.”
Jimin winces at the emphasis on the pronoun. “She's not Voldemort, dude, you can say her name. What the fuck?”
“Ah, is that so? Then how about… the love of your life?” 
“Yoongi! Stop with that already, man. It's not like that between us, we’re just friends who lean on each other for support,” Jimin speaks on autopilot, having perfected the words he has been repeating ever since his colleagues got to know about your existence in his life. “It’s a strange dynamic but it works out well for—”
“Oh, shut up, King of Delusions. About time you stop fooling yourself and me with that bullcrap.” Now it's Yoongi's turn to scoff at Jimin. “Your feelings for her are becoming more and more obvious with time. And if I can see them with such clarity, I bet that you can as well. Which only means that you’re knowingly turning a blind eye. And it is pissing me off.”
So, yeah, this isn't the first time Jimin's hearing this lecture from his friend. 
It’s always the same story whenever any mention of you happens in Min Yoongi’s vicinity. Jimin should, ideally, be immune to the non-stop badgering, but the older guy somehow always manages to bring in fresh points to the table, so Jimin is forced to react with even louder groans, each time.
“When the hell are you going to admit you’re in love with her?”
“I’m literally not,” Jimin’s complaint comes out as a whine, and he mentally counts down the seconds till Yoongi will bring up the fact that he was stopped from pursuing you by Jimin. He wonders if the actual reason why Yoongi does this is because the guy still has a crush on you and feels resentful towards Jimin for not letting him ask you out. “Please stop.”
“You’re not in love? Sure, buddy. You forbade me from pursuing her like some alpha male protective of his mate… doesn't get more soulmate-y than that!” Yoongi rolls his eyes with a grimace. “When the fuck are you going to face yourself?”
“This again? Seriously? I've told you countless times that I did that because she was uncomfortable with your affections,” he reminds Yoongi for what feels like the hundredth time. “I was being a good friend.”
“Right, and she still doesn't know anything about it, does she? She still thinks I stopped pursuing her because I lost interest. Why haven't you told her you had a talk with me?”
Jimin closes his eyes and drags both his palms down his face because Yoongi is absolutely correct. “I… Because it doesn't concern her.”
Yoongi is silent for a while. When Jimin peeks past his fingers to see if the guy may have fallen asleep, he finds Yoongi gaping at him. “Are you even listening to yourself? You stopped me from pursuing her because she's uncomfortable, but telling her about it doesn't concern her? Make it make sense, Park!” He scoffs. “Does she even know we're friends? Does she know you're on this trip with me?”
Jimin remains silent, slowly turning his head to the other direction. “Not really. Told her I'm accompanied by Tara,” he mumbles, only for Yoongi to give a dramatic gasp.
“What? She doesn't know we're friends? Why the fuck would you lie to her about me? Are you ashamed of me, you asshole? And Tara, of all people? What the fuck is wrong with your head?”
Jimin almost laughs at Yoongi’s horrified expressions, but then stops himself because he half suspects the guy might toss him off the balcony if irritated enough, and they’re on the twentieth floor. “It's just… It never came up, I guess? I… don't really talk to her about work much…” His excuse is so weak it makes him physically cringe.
“You were literally just crying to her about our client's butler…”
“Okay, okay, fine!” Jimin sits up, sliding back to rest his head against the headboard, and looks up at the ceiling. “I don't know why I couldn't tell her. But it's not because I'm in love with her, okay? That doesn't even make sense because I still tease her about you for fun. And I also didn't stop you from pursuing her because I wanna be with her, or anything. I don't have those kinds of feelings for her. Promise.”
“Okay. What kind of feelings do you have for her then?”
Jimin opens his mouth to reiterate that you're just friends, briefly shutting his eyes in exasperation—and then freezes. 
An entire cinematic reel of images sets in motion behind his closed eyelids, all featuring your eyes, your skin, your warmth — and his intimacy with them. The darkened haze of your gaze when he pulled away from kissing you. The softness of the skin of your shoulder when he dug his teeth into it; the taste of your skin. Of you. He can nearly smell the scent of your hair in his lungs and can hear the short, hitched breaths you puffed out next to his ears. 
His heart rate kicks up and sweat dots his forehead within the seconds it takes for him to open his eyes again.
It is as if he got dunked into scalding hot water, stifling him and overwhelming all his senses all at once. He feels warm all over. His chest feels heavier than before.
Shit.
This isn't the kind of behavior someone’s ‘just friend’ would exhibit. These aren’t the kind of thoughts he has ever had about you, before.
Shit. 
“Well?” Yoongi is looking at him expectantly with zero judgement in his gaze. “What kind of feelings, Jimin?”
He and Yoongi share a sort of bond where they serve as each other’s sounding boards about decisions that they take at work, with their team. That is not to say that they aren’t good friends and only talk about work. But it’s just that these conversations have never really included much honesty from Jimin’s end whenever the topic hovered over you. 
Jimin can feel that he is about to change that now, though. 
He breathes in and honestly confesses to Yoongi what he hasn't even said to himself out loud, yet: “They’re… confusing.” 
Yoongi nearly jumps off his bed and lands on one corner of Jimin's, eyebrows raised and mouth agape. “Confusing? Not strictly platonic the way they used to be? Dude…” He shakes his head in awe. “This is new. What's changed?” 
Jimin fiddles with his thumbs, lips pursed together as he finds himself caught in a very uncharacteristic fit of nervousness. “So there's this… this thing that happened before I left for this trip… And it changed some things, I guess?”
Yoongi blinks at him, expressions dropped to a deadpan. “You slept with her, didn't you?”
“Wha—how the hell—”
“I’m older than you, I've seen more in this world than you have, so hush with the theatrics. Tell me what happened after that.”
Well. Where does he begin? “She… went on a date with a guy, so—”
“A date? Right after the day you had sex with her?”
Jimin clicks his tongue and shoves Yoongi's shoulder. “Yes and it's not a big deal, okay? We decided that we are going to move ahead and remain the kind of best friends we've always been. And she'd made plans for that date before we slept together, so it's all completely fine.”
Yoongi is squinting at him by the time Jimin stops speaking. “Hm. Is it, really? All completely fine?”
“Yes, it is! I just said it was!”
“O—kay? So what's the problem, then? You decided you both would move ahead and you did – what's the catch? You don't like that she's being normal?”
“No, that's not it. She… wasn't exactly normal, either. She sounded…” Jimin gulps the nerves that block his throat as the prospect of losing your friendship swims up in his vision. “She sounded off. Different. Distant.”
“Oh, boy… Are you scared that she hit it off really well with her date and moved away from you?”
Jimin rolls his eyes. “That's impossible.”
Yoongi gives a smirk which unnerves Jimin in all the bad ways. “Is it? Because if it isn't the possibility of her growing distant from you and closer to someone else that's been troubling you, your issues are way deeper and definitely scarier. Good luck, pal.”
Throughout the entire day full of meetings that Jimin goes through, Yoongi's words keep circling in his head. Did it really bother him that you went on a date? He swore up and down that you guys will remain normal and that night will remain just a memory. So obviously it was correct of you to go on that date you’d planned in advance! 
Why the hell is he acting up when you're doing exactly what you both planned you'd do? 
Jimin chooses to have lunch by himself, in one corner of the cafeteria, leaving Yoongi to mingle with the clients, and mulls over his situation and state of mind. 
Maybe he is bothered by your date. And maybe he is so bothered because it was too soon. 
Because he can't get the images of that night out of his head the way he thought he'd easily be able to. 
When he tried to nap on the flight, he saw you riding his dick. When he got into the shower, he saw your teary face after he'd eaten you out good. He had to touch himself to take the edge off, praying that Yoongi wouldn't hear him, and that literally helped with nothing.
Does he actually… want you? 
The last time this happened was around six years ago.
Jimin sips at his almond milk as memories of a time he’d thought was distant and forgotten cascade through his brain.
The two of you were juniors in college. He'd recently gotten out of this toxic relationship that had sucked all the joy out of his life and was spending his days sleeping in and skipping classes, and his nights drinking with friends. It was 2 am when he saw an Instagram post of you posing sweetly for the camera and all he could think of was how badly he missed you. How he hated the fact that you went to different colleges because he wanted to see you so bad. 
He'd left a series of drunk texts in your DMs, of all places, telling you that you were the best girl he'd ever met and that you were perfect in every way and how happy you would make someone by being theirs. You'd replied the next morning, thanking him for being a sweetheart and then told him that you’d found the lucky one – because axolotl had finally asked you out on a date. 
Jimin would never admit it to anyone, but he’d been really upset and extremely jealous of that stupid asshole. It had gotten to the point where he over-inserted himself into your relationship to let fucking axolotl know that he’d come first in your life. That is not to say that the dude wasn’t toxic enough by himself. But when Jimin saw the way his actions were causing you hurt too, he decided to retreat.
That was when he swore he would step back and be the best bff to you at every step in life.
And he’s been on that road pretty religiously!
All the flirting he gets up to with you is totally harmless and only for fun because he enjoys making you blush. Which is probably why he tried to categorize that night under this ‘harmless fun’, too. But it’s clearly not working. 
He’s restless. He needs to return home and see you in person.
He needs to ensure that he can still be your friend despite all these thoughts plaguing his brain.
What the hell is going to do if he doesn’t arrive upon the desired answer, however? He hasn’t the slightest clue.
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Jimin spends the rest of the day waiting for your call – which never comes.
He texts you when he’s done packing his bags after his last meeting, but you don't respond.
The heavy feeling in his stomach grows heavier and heavier – until it becomes so suffocating that he has to come out to the balcony and breathe in some fresh air.
Except – smoke fills his lungs upon the first inhale, and he wrinkles his nose at Yoongi’s cigarette.
“What? Can't a guy enjoy a smoke in peace? We have to be at the airport in an hour.”
“Oh, no, don’t mind me. Please relish every bit of your death stick, by all means.”
Yoongi snorts at his words, and snuffs the remainder of the cigarette out with a roll of his eyes. “Your panties are in a twist again. What's happened now?”
“I'm fine.”
“Sure. And everything's okay between you and she who shall not be named?”
For a moment, Jimin nibbles on his bottom lip, watching the way the remnant smoke swirls away from the balcony and disappears into the late afternoon sky. Then he sighs. “I don’t know. She hasn’t responded to any of my texts and she didn’t call me. She’d said she would. I feel too fucking tense, it’s like my neurons are collapsing in on themselves.”
“Oh, man… If only you were a smoker, I would have procured you some of the best weed in the market. Would have taken the edge off with a handful of puffs.”
Jimin scowls at the guy. “Thank you for your consideration. Think I’ll just hit myself over the head with a saucepan and call it a day.”
“Stop stressing out so much, you moron. We’ll be back there in four hours. Take a cab straight to her place and talk everything out. Distance is a bitch that creates miscommunication. It’s just a matter of hours.”
Jimin nods to himself.
Just a matter of hours.
Just a matter of hours.
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He can’t do it.
Jimin parted ways with Yoongi the moment he grabbed his luggage at the airport, and made a beeline for the cab he booked to take him to your place. He booked the ride in advance, even before he shot you a text informing his arrival back in town.
But just as his butt touches the leather seats – he realises that he can’t ambush you at your place.
So he regretfully gives the driver his own address and agrees to pay the extra amount that this re-routing would cost.
He shuts his eyes and lets out a deep, guttural exhale of frustration. Just a few hours ago, he couldn't wait to get to you fast enough.
And now, when he is at such a short distance away from actually being able to approach you and have a face to face conversation, his nerves have shackled him down and he cannot get himself to do it.
Some part of him believes that he needs to have a proper talk with himself about what the hell has happened with the dynamics the two of you share before he can prepare himself to have one with you. But some part of him believes that to be just a cop out. Which isn’t a complete lie, because at the end of the day, he is deathly afraid of losing you.
He needs to destress his mind.
But you’re the person he turns to when he needs to destress his mind.
Maybe… he can call you? That won’t be as risky and potentially devastating as paying you a visit, right?
Right. It can’t be. And he’s gotta talk to you because he misses you like crazy.
When his cab finally slows down before his apartment, his anxiety has reached a high that is making his forehead sweat despite the car's AC. Hopping out of the vehicle, he pays the driver and quickly gets into his apartment.
“It’s all gonna be fine, Park,” he mumbles to himself in a lame attempt at a pep talk while he changes out of his clothes and hops into the bathroom for a quick but hot shower. “She's your best friend in the world. You won't lose her. To anything.” He thickly swallows. “Or anyone.”
Donning some sweatpants and a t-shirt, he walks into his living room with his hair still wet and opens up a window to let some fresh air in. The sun has just sunk beneath the horizon, leaving behind some remnant daylight and a beautiful orange hue. Inhaling the crisp evening October air, he pulls his phone out of his pocket.
07:42 PM | Text Message from Grumpkin 🎃💖 woohooo! welcome back to the town, dork <3
He smiles at the text and calls your number.
You pick up the call within seconds of its ringing, filling his phone screen with your entire form that is seated in your bedroom’s bay window.
Jimin’s words sort of get stuck in his throat at the sight of your gorgeous self dressed down in grey lounge pants and a pastel yellow hoodie. 
Wait, gorgeous? You look exactly the way you have always looked. 
And… you have always looked gorgeous, haven’t you?
Jimin can feel his palms beginning to sweat. No, Yoongi was wrong. He wasn’t ready to face you. He isn’t ready to confront all that has changed in his perception of you, when you are exactly the same person that you have always been. 
Your hair is wet, as if you just exited the shower too. And the way your hoodie drowns your entire body seems like the most adorable thing in the world to him. Your cheeks have a darker tint to them, too – caused by warm water, excitement about talking to him, or something else entirely? He hasn’t a clue. It just makes you look prettier and his heart beat louder.
Jimin is suddenly overcome with the urge to run all the way to your place and envelop you in a hug.
And you both never hug—both certifiably allergic to physical affection.
Fuck, he wishes he was there so that he could cup your pretty face in his palms and cover your kissable lips with his own. His fingers twitch with the urge. 
Fuck. 
Fuck.
“Welcome back, dork!” you announce, spreading your lips in a joyous grin. “Are you sleeping with your eyes open wide?”
Broken out of his crisis-inducing trance, Jimin forces a chuckle out of his throat, “I—I was gonna sing-song ‘honey, I'm home’ to you, but you picked up the call t—too fast.”
Fuck, did he just fucking stutter? You don’t seem to have noticed, thankfully, because you simply laugh some more. Your eyes are big and bright and brimming with affection, even if you've pursed your lips in a faux display of anger.
He feels like he missed looking into their depths. Has it really been just two days since he last saw you?
Wait, not even fully that – he left your place yesterday morning.
And now he’s on a freaking video call with you, clutching onto his phone like it’s his lifeline, nearly panting for your attention and affection as if he’s been starved for it. 
Shit, shit, shit, he is supremely screwed.
“Honey’s glad you’re home, too, I guess?”
Your response is ten-on-ten on-brand with the sort of banter the two of you engage in. It makes him believe that everything is actually good. That it’s all gonna be alright. 
Jimin smiles and hopes to God he doesn’t look as stupidly lovesick as he feels in the moment. A lost puppy finally returning home to its owner. 
Cursing under his breath at his train of thoughts, he reclines sideways on one of his sofa chairs and fluffs his wet hair away from his forehead. 
“So, how was your trip? How’s Tara?”
“Trip was good. Productive. We sealed the deal – despite the stupid Alfred-ass guy. And Tara’s fine, too.” He tries his best to disguise his wince as a smile. “Rushed home the moment we touched down.”
“Oh, her husband must’ve picked her up, right? Forgot she's married.” You nod to yourself, scratching your head and furrowing your brows in thought. “How was your flight?”
“It was fine. Had to sit next to a guy who fell asleep the moment we took off, and constantly kept leaning his head on my shoulder. It’s just a three hour flight! He couldn’t stay up that long?” he grumbles, rolling his eyes because the guy he’s talking about is actually Min freaking Yoongi. “I think I have a cramp in my right side because of him.”
You chuckle at that, popping some salted almonds into your mouth. “So what’s the plan for the week? You got office tomorrow?”
“Yep! Although we both are allowed to go in a bit late.”
“That’s considerate of your company.”
There’s a dull pause in the conversation which Jimin uses to wordlessly admire your face on his phone screen, again. He remembers the way other guys used to compliment your eyes, or the length of your nose, the plumpness of your lips, and how he used to just roll his eyes at their words because he didn’t see what they saw.
Well, now he does. He sees all of that and so much more. He sees it and he craves it. 
If not kiss you then at least see you. Be in your proximity. Admire your smile without a camera distorting it into pixels.
He wishes to visit you. He feels ready enough. Composed enough. He will keep himself safely off of risky topics. 
Like, come on. He is twenty-seven. Mature enough to handle himself enough to not make a fool of himself or accidentally ruin a friendship that he holds dearer than his life. Of course he is.
“So, what about you? Any plans for the night? Should I come crash?”
It’s out before he can overthink—or even fully think—of a proper, saner, more sophisticated way to pose the question.
And given the way your eyes widen slightly, regret singes his tongue that articulated the words. “Uh…”
Catching himself in time, Jimin sits up and makes a show of narrowing his eyes at the screen. “What? What is it? What are you hiding, little wench?”
A laughter bubbles out of you, but he can sense your awkwardness through the expressions you wear. It guts him. Swallowing thickly, he raises his eyebrows and beckons you to speak.
Finally, you exhale and purse your lips. “Well, um. I, uh, kinda have Seokjin coming over later?”
The way Jimin’s jaw drops to the floor hasn’t a smidgeon of acting to it. “Say what?”
You wince, biting down on your bottom lip. “Yeah…”
“I… Didn’t you say you didn’t wanna talk about the date?” His voice comes out hollow and plain, absolutely unlike what it usually is.
“I did, yeah, but I also said I needed to figure it out. And we’re, um, just figuring things out. I’ll tell you when—”
You cut off with a jump as your doorbell goes off in the background.
Seokjin is there. Seokjin is at your place. To be with you. To hold you, kiss you, touch you — and probably more.
Jimin feels the floor disappear from beneath his feet. His stomach is lurching and he is free falling. 
“I'll, uh, I'll be right there!” you call in the general direction of the door, casting a hesitant glance towards your phone.
Jimin's free-fall increases in velocity.
“Is that… him?” he asks in a scratchy whisper, face nothing short of horror-struck.
And when you give an almost shy nod, Jimin's brain short-circuits and he can't see a thing.
“Well, okay then! Have a great time! See ya later!”
He disconnects the call and allows his phone to drop down into the carpet beneath the chair he’s seated on. 
Despite trying his hardest, Jimin can’t stop his mind from making up images of you and Seokjin entwined in bed, with you making all the sounds that Jimin elicited out of you not forty-eight hours ago.
Fuck.
He feels shaken up. 
Getting up, he walks into his kitchen and grabs a bottle of water.
“It’s fine,” he tells himself. “It’s just weird because it’s too soon. Otherwise it’s good. It’ll be great. She needs this. I told her to go for it.” 
He clears his throat and sips some more water.
“They’re just sleeping together, anyway. She isn’t going to fall in love with him overnight. And if she does, she’ll tell me… And I’ll support her because she’s my be–best friend in the world.”
Even as the words leave him, they scorch his insides on their way out. His brain feels fuzzy with all the misplaced anger, regret and loss he feels. 
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It’s half past two in the morning and Jimin is scrolling brainrot content on social media to put his mind off of the activities you might be getting up to. If you'd be in your bedroom or if you'd be in the living room, in front of the TV. 
If Seokjin would be eating you out in the same spot where Jimin—
Okay, here's a video of fifteen rubber duckies! They're being squashed at the same time! They're making such a horrendous but hilarious sound!
Needless to say – he isn’t doing a great job keeping himself distracted.
Groaning at himself, he refreshes his feed and gets ready to scroll again. And then he comes to a halt.
A post from you has popped up. 
It's a selfie featuring you and Kim Seokjin, seated in your car, heads tipped together in the middle of the seats, grins on your faces and cones of vanilla ice-cream in your hands. A passably normal and arguably cute picture.
Until Jimin’s eyes travel to the content below the picture.
He sits up in his bed upon spying the ‘💝’ emoji you’ve captioned the post with.
A heart emoji? You abhor those! Last time you willingly put one on your social media was way back when you were still with axolotl!
Oh…
Oh no…
Does this mean that you and Seokjin…?
And when the fuck were you planning to tell him?
Jimin needs to talk to you. Soon.
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Foregoing any texts announcing his arrival, Jimin decides to steer his car towards your place, right after work on Monday. He gets off an hour later than you, so there’s no chance he won’t catch you.
But as he locks the vehicle and makes his way up your apartment, it hits him that there is a very real possibility that he might find Seokjin in there with you. And Jimin is completely unprepared to confront the man without having a conversation with you first.
So he presses the bell with his fingers crossed – and gives a sigh of relief when you open the door by yourself.
You’ve changed out of your work clothes and are dressed up in the same set of hoodie and lounge pants he saw you in during the video call, yesterday. And his urge to capture you in a hug and then smother you in kisses is back.
Stifling it all, however, Jimin focuses on the social media post he saw and allows the feeling of irritation and betrayal he felt upon spotting the heart emoji to wash over him, again. 
Then he grins at you. “Surprise?”
Your gaping mouth closes on a chuckle and, rolling your eyes, you let him in. “Unannounced but not unpleasant, hey.”
Jimin resolutely looks away from the couch in your living room, unwilling to let his resolve to confront you weaken by any means, and heads straight to your kitchen table to occupy one of the bar stools.
“So. How’s work?” He asks, leaning over the counter a little, and squints at your form as you busy yourself pouring a glass of orange juice for him.
“Uh, what? Work’s work. Did you come here to ask me that?” Your head tilts to the side in a question and Jimin exhales in defeat.
“No. Obviously. I'm here to ask you about Seokjin.” You tense at that and Jimin gives a scoff. “Okay, don't you dare try to whip up a story! You didn't tell me on Saturday – fine. You barely told me anything yesterday, harsh but acceptable. But now I'm here and now I wanna know what's going on. And if you dare try to look for a way out this time, I will drive a knife through your gut.”
He didn't mean to go that dark, but your behaviour has gotten on his nerves so awfully, that he couldn't help it.
“Wha–Jimin! I told you I'm still figuring it out…” You avoid his eyes as you speak, playing with the drawstrings on your hoodie. “I'll tell you first thing when I have clarity.”
“Well, I think you do have clarity but you’re just refusing to share it with me. And you need to hurry the fuck up with that because I'm losing patience here.”
Your forehead furrows. “Hey… You can't rush me to make up my mind about someone! It's bad enough that you pushed me to go on a date with him.”
“But I'm literally not rushing you? I saw that social media post you made, and you captioned it with a…heart emoji. You never make public gestures of affection with someone so quickly, so I just wondered if you had developed actual feelings for the guy, beyond the admiration you claimed to have for him. I was concerned about you. What choices you'd made.” He looks away from your face and down at his manicured nails. “As your best friend.”
Your sharp inhale draws his attention back to your face, and he is met with a somewhat cautious expression. “Oh? So you're being a concerned friend? That's – that's the only reason why you'd like to know about me and Seokjin?”
Jimin's breath gets caught in his throat. What did you just ask him? What did you imply?
He frantically searches your face to look for cues that would guide him towards the right way to respond to your question, but all he can find is impatience and thinly veiled disappointment.
The amount of confusion he feels makes his head spin.
He can either be honest – or he can play this safe. And given the amount of risks he has taken with you recently, he would very much rather stay in the comfort zone for once, even if it means that he has to lie.
“Sure. I mean…what other reason could there be? Right?”
Your shoulders slump in defeat and your eyes lose a bit of their sparkle. Before Jimin can even begin to analyse what the hell any of it could be about, you're straightening up again with a determined set to your shoulders.
“Yeah. That's right. No other reason. None at all. You're a concerned friend, that's good. That's great.” You lick your lips and then walk around the counter to sit on the other stool, next to him. Your eyes are hesitant when they meet his own. “Because Jimin, I've been wanting to tell you something. I've thought about this throughout the weekend, and… I really, truly regret that night. What we did was stupid, careless and extremely catastrophic. We shouldn't have slept together.”
Jimin feels a part of his soul crumble and wither at those words.
His brain slows down, gaze grows heavy, and his lungs have to put in extra effort to keep his breathing steady. 
Stupid, careless and extremely catastrophic.
His fingers tremble when he tries to reach for the glass of juice, so he pulls them towards his palm and forms a fist to hide them from you.
“You… why?” He hates himself for sounding as small and lost as he does. Clicking his tongue, he runs both his palms down his face and looks up to meet your saddened eyes again. “I mean it's great that you moved on the way we'd planned, but you don't have to regret the night we shared. It's okay. You can have it both ways.”
You shake your head, eyes even more sadder than before. “But I don't want to. We are supposed to be friends forever, Jimin. You and I… We can’t - I… I can’t lose you. To anything. So I can't do what you’re doing. Cherish that night's memory and behave normally. I need to forget and I need you to know that I wish it never happened. And that I'm… I'm sorry that I’m not strong enough.”
Jimin tries to swallow past his dry throat, only to cough when he can't. 
It kinda sounds like you're afraid you might want him still, so you are nipping the possibility in the bud by denying that the two of you ever crossed the line. It kinda sounds like you can’t move ahead because of that night, so you wish to act as if it didn’t happen.
But you are lighter on words and heavier on nibbling your lip, so maybe you've somehow figured out how precious that memory is to Jimin and you’re just trying to spare his feelings, which – ouch. 
He knew he was becoming pathetic but he didn't realise it was this pathetic.
Scoffing, Jimin gets up and shakes his head. “Don't worry, I wasn't getting any ideas about us doing a repeat of what happened, if that's what you were concerned about. I only want the two of us to resume being the best of buds and share everything the way we used to.”
“No, Jimin, that's not—I mean, you wanted me to give Seokjin a real shot and I did. And so I don’t want there to be anything that holds me back from being honest about it.”
The set of words hurt him more than they should, but he moves past them to address his main concern that you still seem to have missed. “Hey, listen to me. I didn't come here to hound you about Seokjin because I have a problem with what's going on. I came here because I have a problem with you not telling me what's going on. I have a problem with you believing you need to keep it from me for some stupid, untrue reason that you might’ve made up in your head.”
You don't say anything for a while, don't even look up to meet his gaze. Your lower lip stays between your teeth and your eyes don't look away from the kitchen counter where both your hands rest next to the untouched glass of orange juice.
And then you suddenly look up and into his eyes, determination all over your face. “You need to get a girlfriend.”
Uh.
What?
Gaping at the offputting, crooked smile that overtakes your face, Jimin slowly shakes his head as he wonders if he might've heard you wrong.
“Yeah,” you continue, nodding to yourself, “I feel guilty, Min. I’ve broken our no-dating pact, so it's only fair if you get to leave, too.”
Woah. Two dates with a guy and you've already declared your pact broken? And yet you wouldn't say a word about Seokjin beyond the fact that you’re pursuing it because Jimin asked you to.
He is quite literally too stunned to speak.
You laugh a little, looking almost nervous. “What? Don't tell me you fell in love with me or something, Min. That night was purely physical, right? We're mature enough to remember that.” 
The words hit him in a bad way, because you very clearly said them in a way that was meant to hurt him. Of course it was purely physical! But nothing between the two of you can ever be without at least some semblance of emotion because you both go way back! Even the playful insults you toss at each other and the jokes you share carry affection, intimacy and meaning. 
He doesn't have the slightest clue what you've been trying to do all this time, but if you truly want to rile him up and upset him tonight, he's going to forfeit and give you the satisfaction of having succeeded. He hasn't got enough mental strength to decipher the meaning of everything you're doing and then try to diffuse the grenade you've built.
So Jimin steps away from the counter and gives a loud scoff. “Don't be ridiculous. Of course not, there's no way in hell. How could I ever be in love with someone like you? Look at your emotional range and look at mine. I know, better than anyone else in the world, that you’re incapable of love. I know not to love a rock. I'm not stupid.”
Your face falls and eyes turn glossy, but Jimin can bet you aren't hurting like he is. You can't. That's one of your superpowers – compartmentalising so well, you sometimes don't even see the hurt that devastates others. 
“R–right. Didn't have to insult me, but you're right.”
“Why?” Jimin scoffs. “Isn't that what our relationship is about? Being friends? Laughing together? Insulting each other?”
You frown at him. “Why're you talking like that? Why are you getting angry at me?”
Jimin blinks at your words, watching the way your eyes look truly clueless, and sheer sadness envelopes him. 
Because it hits him now. Maybe you didn’t say those words to hurt him. Maybe he underestimated your inability to feel. Maybe you really don't get why it was special. Because you really didn't feel why it could be special.
Maybe nothing between the two of you has ever carried any emotion to it, for you.
You have no idea about the emotional turmoil he's been in the past two days when he couldn't get you out of your mind, because you were on a completely different page. This is why it was easy for you to go on that date and then call that guy home the next day.
The night you shared with Jimin doesn't matter to you. Jimin doesn't matter to you.
Not the way he thought. Not the way you do to him.
And his evolving feelings for you, whatever they end up becoming, would only serve to be an inconvenience in your life that you would just ask him to sort out instead of helping him wade through them because… 
This is who you are. 
This is who you've always been.
This is the girl he met in eighth standard, had a crush on, became lifelong friends with, had sex with, and developed more than platonic feelings for.
This is you.
He doesn’t know how to deal with this realization. He can’t deal with this sitting in your kitchen. And he can’t deal with this without a drink.
So he collects his coat and walks out of your house, ignoring your calls of his name and choosing his own sanity over you for once
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© jimilter | 2025
116 notes · View notes
grimmweepers · 5 months ago
Text
a platonic makeup session that gets real heated, real quick.
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— ☆ contents: tsubakino x gn!reader. reader also wears makeup. sfw but suggestive at the end. kissing. self-ship coded. 0.8k. not proof-read. masterlist | byf/dni
Being friends with Tsubaki was a constant tease. He had this way of blending elegance with masculinity that always left you in awe. He’d sit there, perfectly poised in a skirt that hugged his hips, with lipstick that seemed to dare you to look at anything else—but beneath all that, there was this unmistakable strength to him. It was a contrast that made you wonder if you’d ever figure him out, or if he even wanted you to.
Today was no different. You both sat cross-legged on the floor of his bedroom, playing with makeup like it was just another casual afternoon. But the air felt different, like it was more charged. Maybe it was the way his manicured nails lingered on your skin for a second too long when he handed you a brush or how his gaze kept drifting down to your lips as you applied gloss. Either way, the curiosity you felt toward him was harder to shake off than usual.
“Hold still,” he said, leaning in close, the sweet, heady scent of him wrapping around you. His fingers tilted your chin up and you had to remind yourself to breathe as he carefully traced eyeliner on your lids.
“Easy for you to say,” you mumbled in response. You were trying your best to stay still even though his face hovered inches from yours. His hold on you was steady but you felt like you could start shaking at any moment.
You snuck a glance through your lashes and found him staring down at you. He was close—too close— and your heart thumped wildly in your chest.
What was he trying to do?
“Done~” he finally said in a sing-song voice.
But neither of you moved. You were practically nose to nose now and the air was impossibly thick. His lips, painted a deep and provocative red, looked far too tempting and for a moment, you both felt something that you couldn’t quite define. Something close to a zap.
“Tsubaki…” you whispered his name with a bit of confusion, a bit of urgency too. But you couldn’t complete your sentence when he leaned in a little more. The tension was so heavy in the room, it could’ve passed as a third presence.
He dropped his shoulders, “I’ve always wondered…” Tsubaki’s hand found your chin again and his thumb brushed over the gloss on your lips, smudging it just slightly.
You could hardly think, let alone speak.
And then, without warning, his lips were on yours. Everything else that had occupied your mind beforehand faded away.
The kiss was slow—hesitant, but laced with something that neither of you dared to acknowledge before. His lips were soft but eager, like he was testing the waters, and when you didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss, bringing you closer until you were basically in his lap.
Your hands tangled in his long hair, messing up the waves you helped style earlier as the heat between you flared to life.
The feel of his strong arms around your waist and his exposed thighs cushioning you underneath made you shudder. You found yourself clinging for more, desperate for more.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing hard, lips swollen and stained with each other’s lipstick. The look he gave you made your stomach flip. It was filled with something devilish and reckless, something you normally saw when he was going to perform—whether it was before a fight or at pub ougi.
“You know,” his hands trailed down your side, fingers teasing the edge of your shirt, “…I’ve got a few other things I wouldn’t mind trying on you.” There was a suggestive glint in his eyes, a sneaky pout forming at his lips.
“Like what?” You asked, still maintaining your playfulness.
“Do you really want me to say it?”
You bit your lip, twirling the bit of his hair that had fallen out of place, “Yeah, I do.”
Tsubaki laughed lightky, “It’s been hard pretending like I haven’t felt this way about you. I guess I was just confused,” he admitted as his other hand traced the curve of your jaw, “But now that I’ve got a taste of you, I think I want more—”
“Then don't hold back,” you whispered, your hand resting on his broad shoulders as you spoke. “Show me.”
He couldn’t hide his smile. That was all he needed before his lips crashed against yours with more intensity and hunger. The plush fabric of his skirt bunched up at his thighs while he explored underneath your shirt, trailing fire across your skin.
Tsubaki whimpered into your mouth as you curled your fingers against his chest, his breath hitching when his hand dipped lower, toying with the waistband of your shorts.
You let out a soft moan, aching for more of him. You were more than ready to see how far this would go.
“Thank you,” he tugged you closer, his voice thick with want as he rocked his hips against yours, “Because now I’m dying to know how you feel.”
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a/n: i wrote this before bed last night. genuinely losing sleep over him
© 2024 grimmweepers — do not repost, copy, translate, modify my work on any platform
affiliations: @houseofsolisoccasum
divider by @/adornedwithlight
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nekovmancer · 4 months ago
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Hello, I was wondering if you could make zenyatta and ramattra with Cyborg!Reader like genji, but their body glows if they have too much energy.
overwatch headcanons: cyborg!reader with Ramattra and Zenyatta
warnings: mentions of violence, trauma and such, a bit platonic and… ye, pretty much fine, nothing graphic
a/n: my love for Zen is 100% dear and platonic yet- well, you guys know. RAMATTRA!!! 
will do them separately in the present game timeline and then together back in the monastery and… it’s past midnight here, my eyelids are heavy, but there’s no sleep in between me and writing fanfiction so, sowy for the mistakes ahead, I will correct them tomorrow!! anxiety kept me awake and obligated me to post as soon as I’ve finished, you know
btw!! thanks for requesting. I love to write it and I hope you also enjoy. (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
OPEN FOR HEADCANON REQUESTS! Send yours here, but read rules first
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Ramattra
A Ravager was responsible for your body’s destruction, so it’s only natural you’re shaking on its presence
Back when it happened, omnics were still under Anubis’ control, so it’s not like you blame him or any other R-7000 for their doings
Still, you got these chills running down your spine now that you stand face to face to Null Sector’s infamous leader
But the thrill is even stronger when he proves all your believes to be wrong, being to one to extend a helping hand to prevent your body to overheat
As Genji, your parts were substituted with cybernetics: flesh, muscle and metal bounding into one thing to keep your alive
Though, you weren’t lucky to be shaped by doctor Ziegler’s careful hands, which lead to several problems, including the overheating itself, caused by your frenetic running while trying to escape Toronto during the Invasion
Ramattra saw you and couldn’t help but be… fascinated 
You were not an omnic, so his helmets were useless, still you’re shaped in metal, no sight of skin showing. A human, without humanity’s resemblance 
He caught your heartbeats, their rhythm more and more violent, growing exponentially as the glow from your cybernetics, a flashing red of warning
He’s so intrigued he founds himself kneeling in front of you, one hand reaching out while you press your back to the wall behind you; no way to run out of this
“Hush now. If I was to hurt you, why the ceremony?” 
His words had logic, true, but fear was devouring you
The last time you were this close to a Ravager was the last time you still had much of your organic body parts
“I may be of help, if you let me” 
What choice did you have anyway? If he didn’t kill you, your body would do the job alone 
 Ramattra escorts you to safety, and ironically it means the very ships vomiting killing robots a while ago
You stay in his workshop as it takes little time for him to figure out how to cool down your body, and the glow is long gone by the time he’s done
“Not an omnic, yet not fully human…  where do you find a place for one as yourself in this doomed world?”
Here’s the thing: you don’t
That’s why you accept his offer to stay, despite all of your fears
In the end, the hands who once destroyed you were the same who saved you from death
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Zenyatta
Omnics and humans coexisting peacefully was a metaphor to your own state: both human and machine sharing the same body, trying to not repel one another
A heart of flesh habitating a chest of metal, you tiptoed the lines between the two worlds, but you didn’t felt as part of any of them
Still, you find solace in the words of a monk by the name of Mondatta. He spoke of hope and understandment, of peace above the conflict. Without even knowing, he brought balance to your turmoil; past and present
But hope was a dangerous thing for the ones like you, if there was anyone else sharing the burden of a dreadful existence as yours
And you’re quick out of reasons since Mondatta’s death
You weren’t welcome among the omnics, and humans saw you as a freak. Any chance of normality was eradicated 
As a last act of faith, you did Aurora’s peregrination to Shambali. You didn’t know what to expect, but surely the villagers near the monastery left a very bad impression
Along with the exhaustion, you entered the sacred halls with your cybernetics glowing red, a flash of the eminent chaos that would erupt if you’re not stabilized quickly enough
A monk comes to your aid, and by staring at his faceplate alone you can feel something different stirring within you. A long lost calmness tossing your circuits errors aside
You wouldn’t forget his name not even in a million lifetimes: Zenyatta, the one who offered you a place to rest after your journey, and the very first to be interest in you
His genuine interest, plus the care, was touching. No one ever did anything similar to you, not after Talon decided you could still be a soldier even without most of your body
Which led to you running away, not soon enough to prevent Doctor O'Deorain  from damaging your body though. Another monster carefully constructed to be Talon’s pawn, no matter how much pain came from it
But you’ve already paid the price for your mistakes, and one thing is for sure: you’re no monster
Among the monks, you could feel that familiar peaceful feeling lingering under your skin, resonating through the circuits of your cybernetics
For once, you did not felt cast aside, most thankful to Tekhartha Zenyatta
His harmony orbs helped to regain a balance you thought to be long lost, and not only: the chaos within you, something you tried to ignore, was embraced as it should be also cherished 
“No living being is completely pure, nor completely evil. We’re both our strengths and flaws: to deny one existence in detriment of other is to deny yourself.”
Even the worst of you was forgiven; by him first, and you last. Where you felt shame for your wrongdoings, Zenyatta pathed a lesson that erased your doubts
Through meditation, you found not only peace with your inner self, but with the world surrounding you
The balance of energy through your body presented you with a new glowing: not the crimson red of tiredness and rage, but a warm yellow that irradiates warm as a small sun; the energy of the Iris found you
“My dear friend, I bathe in the light of your soul. May it keep us sheltered during the dark times ahead of us.”
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Ramattra & Zenyatta
When the brothers found you, they first thought you were an omnic
Judging by the people screaming around you, tossing stones, displaying the worst of their violence and, of course, the fact your whole constitution was pure metal
It’s only when they take you to the monastery that they knowledge the other side of your face, the one that’s still flesh 
No questions were asked, but none of them are naive. Being a cyborg meant something, and this something tiptoed around the lines of violence
And despite it all, cyborgs are quite rare. Especially ones glowing as you did, with your joints pulsating with energy
It was easy to distinguish your humor by the light radiating from your body: usually soft, it could be oversaturated when your humor reached peaks, transiting through a rainbow of colors depending on what you had in your mind
At first, a light tone of red flashed whenever they approached. Despite being your saviors, you still felt a bit of distrustfulness towards them
Humans saw you as an aberration, and you did not have too much time with sentient omnics to put their behavior to test. Not that you felt inclined to do so. To deal with humanity’s rejection was enough
Zenyatta was patient, but Ramattra… no metal in this world could undo the fact you were a human. And he also had his share with humanity to know how incredible terrible they can be 
That’s why, maybe, it’s easy for you to approach him 
Ramattra resented humanity, despite his best efforts to find harmony through his want for peace and his desire for revenge. Not that you had the guts to do anything but lament over your own dismay, but… you could relate
Zenyatta, on the other hand, touched your deepest cravings for being a better person, standing above those who abused you. You did not wished for violence, despite your rage: to be comprehended was your key 
And both of them did it, in their own way
Through your days in Shambali, you felt part of their brotherhood. Not exactly as such, but… cherished. Each of them bonded with you in their own unique way, understanding your pains, your dreams, your wants. Piece by piece, the three of you found a way together
Now, whenever you meditate with Ramattra, concentrating the energy flow in your body, a glowing purple flashed through your cybernetics. But with Zenyatta, a deep golden color showed itself
And that’s why you could never choose. Your love for them was measured equally: if cut in half, one part would still be of Ramattra, and the other would belong to Zenyatta
So when Ramattra leaves from Shambali, and both you and Zenyatta decline his offer to follow his path off the Monastery, there’s no way from you in the opposites side, but through the middle-term
You still dream of the day you three will meet again. For the good or for the bad, you missed them for a lifetime, and to be separated brings up this feeling all over again
Now, whenever you concentrate your energy, it’s grayish: devoid of color, deepness and light
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apoloadonisandnarcissus · 3 months ago
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“she [Galadriel] was very much in love with Halbrand,” Brändström says. “I mean, there was almost like a love story. He really seduced her.”
Seeing Halbrand really affected Galadriel—what were her feelings for him? Yeah. Galadriel obviously was in love with Halbrand. She was very attracted to him. So when Sauron changes shape… Sauron knows this because he gets into her head, so he knows what she’s thinking, what she’s feeling. So when he immediately takes Halbrand’s shape, he completely destabilizes her because that was her weakness. She had very strong feelings for the King, for Halbrand, obviously in the first season.
This sneaky bitch really pull out all the tricks and said "my body is ready" after Galadriel said “I’ve felt it too”:
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But sure, there’s nothing sexual happening in here, and nothing happened after, either. Mairon/Halbrand just “really seduced her” mentally and platonically, by moaning at her touch and lying there naked for Galadriel's viewing pleasure, I guess.
Because we all saw how “self-restraining” Galadriel was back in Season 1, too, right? Of course she would NEVER give up into her sexual desires for Halbrand... like when she went on quests without her High King's permission; forced her company to keep moving; jumped off a ship to Valinor (disobeying both the Valar and Gil-galad); insulted the Queen of Númenor several times; run away from the palace in Númenor; end up in jail; threatened to genocide the Orcs; almost killed Adar (ironically if Mairon didn’t intervene), come on... Season 1 Galadriel was the peak of self-restraining, and we all know it.
Also; him looking for Galadriel around Eregion in his pajamas and barefoot, like he just got up of bed? Have you no shame, sir? You all know he wanted to go to that forge to get those wedding rings made.
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hg-aneh · 1 year ago
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Hi! I absolutely love all of your art and I’ve been fallowing you for awhile! There’s been some rumors that you ship Muriel x crowley?? Which I guess is an odd paring but nothing terrible wrong with, I was just curious if you do ship them.
Thank you for all your wonderful art <3
okay, i want to preface this by saying that I've already been harassed over this to the point of being called a lowkey pedophile and having every little move of mine scrutinized and misconstrued to sickening extents (this harassment spilled over to my partner too, and it was horrible)
so all anyone would do by doing this again would be repeating history, among other things that have to do with fucking up my already frail mental state
now.
onto the meat
yes, I ship it
no, I do not see Muriel as a child, kid, teenager, or anything of the sort and I find it personally distasteful to think of doing so because infantilizing autistic traits rubs me the wrong way (p e r s o n a l l y)
you can do it if you want to, I have worse things to worry about than a random person on the internet thinking something of a fictional character, just don't try to push your headcanon onto me just because you perceive it that way or because it's a popular dynamic that you find fun
adding onto this, i want to add that i will never and i mean fucking NEVER post anything related to that ship outside of the very specific private Xitter account i created for it
(and my personal facebook, on a friends only setting)
any Muriel & Crowley content outside of that account is all platonic and bla bla you get the gist. I can separate things, what a talent.
Now, I'm being overly paranoid and explaining myself to exhaustion over this for a very good reason and it's because last time someone found out about it ((yes we're going full circle to the beginning of this little bible)) they treated it as some sort of GOTCHA moment about me being a pedo ((and if you didn't know this already: I fucking despise children with my whole being, I'd rather be forcefed alligator shit for my whole life than be with one of those creatures for a single day))
It got to the point of that person making extremely hurtful videos about me and their little friend group comprised of goober eating toddlers joining in on the "Hater" train or whatever the hell that new cultural trend is called, as well
It was hell, that whole experience fucked me up BAD and i feel silly for saying this but it was genuinely traumatic! So- I apologize if I'm sounding confrontational here, anon, but like, this is the type of thing you have to do to keep yourself safe now, it's gone to that point and I'm in hysterics now because what the fuck
Lastly, I'd like to say this one other thing
Muriel is played by an adult actress, they are canonically the same age as Aziraphale and Crowley and are also an eldritch creature just like them
The fact that they're nice and bubbly and happen to have autistic traits doesn't suddenly make them a fetus. I have friends with the same personality type as them and I feel like it'd be dumb to treat them like zygotes knowing they're adults with body hair and debt
Again, if you see them as one, I'm literally no one to judge, I'm 1.49, you're better off taking judgement from a stupid lone penguin in the saharan desert.
But don't fuck with others for thinking otherwise, it's not a moral issue to disagree with a headcanon, please. 🥲
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fuumiku · 10 months ago
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Chilcille huh... ngl I was a little suspicious. like why would you do that, huh... hope youre not mischaracterizing anyone in your weird and wacky ship. a little weird. but then you said they both had flat asses and you know what? I salute you and your perfect characterization
The fact you seem to think you managed to not make this ask insulting is baffling. What the hell. Fuck off.
If you actually care to be open minded about the ship, I talk about marchil on my sideblog 24/7. Funnily enough I’m currently 4k words deep into an analysis of their character arc together in canon, but that’ll take some more days to get done. Some notable posts:
Of course without counting the analyses of Chilchuck on his own I’ve made, like my masterpost on his family situation. Or better yet you could also read my fics for them, see how weird and wacky they are here.
Wanna talk about mischaracterisation? They’re literally a comedic duo who interacts 24/7. Marchil is crazy bc ppl are like "did those shipper read with their eyes CLOSED?? They have no chemistry!" Meanwhile canon is like: "She’s obsessed with knowing everything she can about him and she reads him like a book." In her eyes he’s like that extra rare and hard and shiny unlockable dating sim character, that brooding mysterious character trope that’s thrilling to crack open and typically is at the center of the plot. The wife roleplay???? "Hey, did you know his type is blondes. Hey did you know he likes his women pretty and blonde. Hey did you know he likes her hair. Hey did you know that he teases her 24/7 and it’s one of the few things that consistently gets him grinning because he finds her reactions cute." Like a schoolyard bully pulling on the pigtails of the girl he likes.
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It’s not like they have any thematic narratives or relevance. It’s not like she’ll live to 1000 and has existential dread about it while he’s logically gonna be her next friend to die at 50 and wether it’s romantic or platonic it’ll terrify her to lose him. It’s not like it’s fear of death x fear of rejection so they’re both obsessed with the thought of loss looming, past and ongoing. It’s not like it’s half-elf x half-foot and there’s an inherent journey that was and still is to dispel prejudices and truly come to see each other. It’s not like he’s painfully real and raw and flawed but still a good man, that he’s not the figure of prince charming that she’s always dreamed of while still being virtuous and worth fighting for. Or you know, her hair being golden and it being the epitome of beauty to him, and his hair turning silver and it being Marcille’s worst nightmare.
Just a weird wacky ship who means nothing but shallow things to people who have weirdo reasons for liking it. Like can you not. If you’re not imaginative enough to think of reasons why this ship may have an appealing dynamic that’s not my issue. But yes, yes, they’re both flat asses to me, thanks.
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AITA for asking someone not to make my art about a ship I hate?
This happened a couple months ago, but I’m still kinda unsure if I handled it correctly.
Basic rundown of events: I posted some art of a character on their own in the evening, and when I woke up the next morning, someone had reblogged with an addition about a ship that’s a big notp for me. I messaged them to ask they delete it as politely as possible, because people had been interacting with that version of the post specifically and it made me uncomfortable. They responded by saying I was being immature and needed to learn not to police what other people do on the internet. We exchanged a couple more messages, and I tried to explain my position my throughly. Neither of us was overtly hostile or anything, but I felt extremely talked down to by their tone of voice. After our conversation, we both blocked each other, and that was that. They never did delete their addition.
Why I think I might be TA: we weren’t exactly friends or anything. Neither of us followed each other. I’d seen them around in the fandom, and they’d reblogged some of my art in the past, but I think messaging someone I didn’t know instead of just blocking them might have been a bit of an overreach. Plus the ship in question is canon, and not particularly controversial or anything, so most people in the fandom probably wouldn’t have minded.
On the other hand, the ship being so unavoidable is a big part of the reason it upset me so much. It’s hard for me to exist in this fandom without having to see it constantly, and I don’t even ever mention the other character in it for fear of this exact thing happening. I’ve had people be assholes on my posts about the ship I prefer, or go out of their way to interpret my romantic posts about them platonically, or add tags to my art about how they only like my ship as backstory and not endgame. I don’t want to have to put a disclaimer every single time I post about this fandom. I just want to enjoy the things I like without being negative all the time. Which is why I figured messaging privately was more polite than making a stink where everyone could see. I specifically mentioned that I knew they wouldn’t have known and wasn’t mad.
No one actually ended up reblogging their addition, which is also a strike against me, but I got a lot of likes on specifically that version of the post, which made me scared they were going to. I hated the idea of having to turn off reblogs on a piece I’d worked pretty fucking hard on because a version I found so upsetting was in circulation. If it was just tags, I’d have blocked, but it being an addition is different. I don’t think asking people not to make my posts about it is “policing what other people do on the internet”. You’re in MY house, on MY post with MY art I spent hours on. Making additions to art posts already seems somewhat rude to me, that’s just not something you do, but I guess that’s a matter of the corner of tumblr culture you’re used it.
Also, their response felt very aggressive and condescending. They implied I was, like, a kid, and I do think I’m somewhat younger than them, but the only information about my age in my bio at the time was that I’m an adult, so it felt like a rude assumption. My age doesn’t have anything to do with it.
Again, though, I do absolutely see how my initial message could read as entitled. During the rest of our messaging, I did lose my temper a little bit at one point; I said something about how I’ve had to deal with shit in this fandom before, and I don’t remember the exact words since, again, we both blocked each other, but I know I swore at them. That might’ve come across as more aggressive than I wanted, and probably didn’t exactly help deescalate. (Can’t say for sure, I don’t have their side of the story)
Like I said, this situation was a bit ago now, but it upset me pretty bad at the time, and I’m still not entirely sure who’s in the wrong. So, AITA?
(Also to get ahead of this: please don’t make this about shipcourse in the comments. It’s not about that. They and I have similar opinions on that discourse from what I’ve gathered anyway. Thanks.)
What are these acronyms?
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deathbxnny · 2 months ago
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I’ve been busy.. but that doesnt stop me from daydreaming!
Can i request platonic Vi with a best friend that is like Wriothesley? I didnt realized how similar those two are until i saw Wriothesley’s birthday art. It’s just.. mind blowing. ALSO WRIOTHESLEY AND CLORINDE, VI AND CAITLYN. DO YOU SEE IT?! Personally, i dont ship Wrio and Clorinde but i can see why people even ship them in the first place. I see them as platonic besties who support their endeavor with their respective lover (Neuvilette and Navia respectively)
Context:
Reader and Vi met in prison and just clicked bc they just understood each other. When Caitlyn came to ask Vi for help, Vi also made Caitlyn to allow reader out with her as well. Whatever happens next is your choice to make but please also note how reader is from Piltover.
That’s all and have a good day/night!
(School is just.. really busy rn and i have my final exams next week. Im honestly scared, so i might not be active for a while here. But know that i do read your stuff to time to time to destress. Also i really like the post with my navia request, tysm ^_^)
- Flower Anon 🌸
Vi with a best friend Wriothesley-like!Gn!Reader.
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Your words about the Wriothesley and Clorinde comparison have enlightened something in my mind lmao. Also, good luck with your exams, Flower Anon! I really, really hope that they go well and dw about not being active much! I appreciate your support either way and hope you'll enjoy this!<3
Content: Reader is from Piltover, past murders, crimes, platonic relationships, Vi and Reader being a menace duo, sfw
Reader has no mentioned pronouns.
((Not proofread))
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You and Vi had your backs from day one after meeting in Stillwater. You were both teens then, having been imprisoned under terrible circumstances, and that made you stick together as a team. There was no one else to look out for you in that hell after all.
During your long, seemingly endless time in jail, you both got to know each other perfectly, with no details about your pasts spared. She came to know about your dark past and the murder of your abusive parents rather early on, yet never judged you for it. If anything, she may have been the only one to understand you.
This was surprising, considering your vastly different upbringings. Vi came from poverty down in the slums of Zaun, whilst you once tasted silver spoons and golden dishes on the daily. But it all faded in this hellscape of a prison, where you both endured torture and pain as equals.
You became an unlikely duo out of that, one that upheld a scary and menacing reputation amongst prisoners and wards alike. She was the more angry, violent one, whilst you were a bit of a joker, your words alone enough to send shivers down anyone's spines. It made you both feel more confident and hopeful, even if a way out was unlikely after many years spent in the prison.
Now, far into your adulthood, you decided to give up on that childish dream of freedom, accepting that your life in Stillwater is all you'll ever know. You were used to it by now and built a routine to follow and survive with. But things changed when that Enforcer girl showed up.
You didn't trust her at all, despite roughly remembering who she was. And unfortunately, she remembered you two, although for all the wrong reasons she would simply scoff at. However, since Vi decided to make a deal with Caitlyn, you decided to leave the past behind and simply accept this opportunity to finally escape this place.
And so, after what felt like endless years of fighting for your survival together, you were finally permitted to breathe, mostly, fresh air and live freely again... even with the grim mission at hand that often left you having to comfort Vi whenever things got too out of hand with her emotions. Hunting down Jinx was more traumatic than she'd let on anyways.
But alas, you eventually began enjoying your time out by trying new tea and pastries, running around your okd neighborhoods, and beating up people with Vi that wronged her in the past. It was all in good fun, even if Caitlyn had to hunt you both down every time.
You were the more calmer and gentler out of the three of you, however, as your rationality and ability to lead effortlessly often came in handy. You were somewhat of a balance between the two when things got really bad, despite your own reservations, and eventually ended up being an accidental wingman with how well you spoke of Vi to Cait. You knew firsthand how bad the prejudice against Zaunites could be and would be damned if she ever mistreated Vi because of it.
Ultimately, life turned out a lot more chaotic outside than it was outside of the prison... but with your best friend at your side, you suppose things would only get more interesting from here.
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pippin-katz · 1 year ago
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“We knew that if Taylor and Nick didn’t feel safe, we would never have gotten that scene out of them.”
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I've reread this interview a couple times, and the last sentence hit me differently. My entire chest expanded. I’ve been blabbering on and on about Taylor and Nicholas having to do intimate choreography, and it still blows me away that they did, but that comment is so sweet.
They felt safe. They felt safe with each other. They felt safe with Matthew and Robbie. They were able to perform the most beautiful and romantic sex scene I’ve ever witnessed because they felt safe.
I can't stress the use of the word "safe" enough.
It's impossible to know what they were thinking while filming, but I can imagine that they occasionally got those instinctive nerves, but they were able to keep filming because they trusted each other that much. They could think to themselves: "he's got me".
That is the sweetest, most wholesome thing ever.
Nicholas and Taylor are such close friends and care so much about each other that they're able to do this kind of scene. They know the other would never do anything to make them uncomfortable. They have to be completely vulnerable, but they're okay with that because they trust each other that much. That is such an incredible friendship, and a truly special bond.
It also occurred to me that that trust and safety they felt is probably part of why it feels as intimate as it does. The point of the scene is to show how far Alex and Henry have come in their relationship that they trust each other to do that.
Henry’s unable to “belong to someone else” except for a moment, and he has fallen so in love and trusts Alex so much to give himself to him in literally the most intimate way possible, even if it’s temporary. Alex has never done any of this before, considering he hadn’t truly considered his bisexuality before Henry, and obviously hasn’t had this kind of sex, but he feels comfortable enough with Henry to tell him that he’s nervous and trusts Henry will make sure everything goes right. I mean Henry literally says “trust me, you’re in good hands”, and Alex does.
Trust and safety is literally part of the characters' journeys in that scene. Nick and Taylor's real life trust in each other can provide a genuine base to build off of for Alex and Henry's.
God I wish they could do interviews, I want to hear them talk about it more (if they’re willing). They talked about it somewhat in the pre-conducted interviews, but not to the extent Matthew is in this. Obviously they don’t have to if they’re not comfortable sharing though.
I think this makes me feel so much because I'm personally demisexual and demiromantic, so emotional bonds are very important to me, in general. It's my heart's desire to find someone to love and trust that much, platonically and/or romantically.
PS: Just to be absolutely clear, this is not about shipping Nick and Taylor!! I'm just gushing about their bond with each other! I'm not trying to imply they are romantically involved in any way!
Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️
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