#I’ve also been replaying watch dogs 1 because of his character

[artem1sc0re]

Woah

Aiden Pearce on a whiteboard

I feel obligated to add more to this so uhhh hands you this and runs away

[brockadoodles]

morning flights to toronto - b. boeser

AN: I couldn’t give you too many Christmas fics without a splaaasshhhhhhhh of angst, that simply would not be true to my brand. Sorry fic Brock for how often I break you? But it’s okay because it’s just a character and not real hehe. Hope you enjoy this one, it’s a concept I really love.

Word Count: 2613

Warnings: Angst but a good ending I promise. 

A month and a half ago, if someone would have asked you what you were doing for Christmas, you would have smiled at them and told them you’d be in Minnesota, likely cuddled up by the fireplace with snow heavily falling outside, your boyfriend asleep next to you and your dogs at your feet. You would have told them how excited you were to go back to the place you had started to realize felt like your second home, a place where you pictured yourself raising a family, transitioning to a stage in life that you were starting to feel ready for. A month and a half ago, you would have been happily in love, instead of mending a freshly shattered heart during your favorite time of the year. 

You replayed the conversation in your head, circling over and over his words that echoed through your mind, wondering how you could have misinterpreted the signs for so long. You thought you and Brock were on the same page, you had moved in together, and had even adopted a second dog together, a husky mix named Milo. But it turns out, you weren’t on the same page at all you were two souls who had found yourself so consumed by the love story you thought you had that you ended up not realizing that Brock was still on book 1, while you had steadily moved to book 2. 

“I just don’t know that I see all of that right now,” he sighed. His head was resting in his hands and his eyes were blurry from his own tears that had started to fall as he spoke to you, a conversation that to him was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He loved you, that was never the problem. But sometimes, love isn’t enough to build a life with someone, sometimes you need something more than a connection that the two of you had. 

“Right now? Or ever?” You whispered, your own tears falling freely as you desperately wished for him to say anything but ever. You could give him space, you could give him time, but you couldn’t rationalize the idea that you had loved him in a way that he didn’t love you. You couldn’t accept that it had been one-sided, not when you were starting to build a life together. Brock ran a hand through his hair, his voice was scratchy from the dryness settling into his throat, the lump choking back his own tears as his voice pulled your heart out and tossed it on the ground. 

“I think we need to not be together right now.” 

That phrase struck you in a way that nothing else had before. It settled into your chest and pitched a tent there, a tenant that wasn’t paying rent who you couldn’t evict. You weren’t even sure it felt entirely real until you were sitting with him and having a serious conversation about moving out, and taking Milo with you.

You tried not to think about the reality of it all, losing a three year relationship seemingly in a matter of moments. It didn’t matter how long you and Brock spoke in circles that night, it didn’t matter what shape you tried to construct to fix everything and hang onto him, he was holding a box and you were holding broken pieces that didn’t fit. 

You were doing your best at what you hoped looked like starting over. You were trying to navigate finding yourself again after being so tied into one person, but it was nearing Christmas and as you sat in your friend’s sublet apartment with boxed of things around you that you and Brock had bought together and Milo at your feet, you wanted to be anywhere other than Vancouver for the holiday.  

It had taken you four days to call your parents. Four days of replaying everything in your mind and wondering if maybe he’d call and say it was all a mistake. Four days of cycling through the same routine of going from the bed to the couch on autopilot, tears springing to your eyes each time something reminded you of him. Four days of wondering if he even was hurting at all, a question that you weren’t sure you even wanted the answer to yet tortured yourself with anyways. But it only took five minutes for your mom to convince you to come home. 

That’s how you ended up back in Toronto, tucked away in your childhood bedroom that had been converted to be a guest room looking out at the blanket of snow that was dumping into the city. You settled into a new routine, waking up each morning and watching Milo out back playing in the fresh snow. You tried not to think about if he was missing Coolie as much as you were. You also tried not to notice each time Brock’s photo popped up as a viewer on your story, knowing that losing Milo was probably killing him. 

Brock spent the weeks following the breakup leading up to Christmas poorly attempting to convince himself that what he did was right. He agonized over it, constantly telling himself that you were two people who had been lost in each other for so long, that you needed to find yourselves again. He tried to convince himself that the codependency was the problem, that you weren’t growing together anymore, hell, he even tried to convince himself that he was the one holding you back from your dreams, feeling guilty for just how willing he knew you would have been to follow him if he were ever traded. But the thing about telling yourself something until it's true is that it doesn’t work, and that was a lesson that Brock was painstakingly learning the hard way. He couldn’t even pretend it was any easier when he was back home in Minnesota, because at each turn his dad asked him things about you and it broke his heart each time he had to remind him that you weren’t. 

Brock watched your story of Milo in the snow for what felt like at least the tenth time that morning. He heard your laugh in the background and you calling for Milo softly. He knew you were back home in Toronto, probably at your parents house running through the traditions your family had at Christmas. He remembers when he got to experience all of those with you, the year before. As he heard your laugh one last time from your story, he thought back to that Christmas, his own heart twisting when he thought about how he was always the one who could make you laugh, stealing wine drunken kisses in the kitchen in the dim light.

It took Brock one hour after you left to know that it was a mistake breaking up with you, but it took him three weeks and a Christmas Eve without you to come to the understanding that maybe, just maybe he could fix it. 

You groaned softly as you blindly reached for the source of the buzzing on your bedside table. You had half of a mind to turn over and curl up in your blanket and ignore it, the last month your phone had been filled with messages and calls, each person offering what felt like faux sympathy at your broken heart. It got to a point where you dreaded seeing a notification, just wishing that your friends would give you space to heal on your own. They could only express so much sympathy for a situation that they didn’t understand. But it was Christmas Eve, and as you adjusted your eyes to your phone screen, you thought about how whoever was calling this late must have been important. As soon as you picked up the screen and saw the photo on it, him with Coolie curled up against his chest, you felt your eyes water and your mind twist. You wondered if you were hallucinating, but your finger slid across the accept button anyway and you held your breath as you lifted the phone to your ear.

“Are you there?” His voice came through when you didn’t say anything. It was soft and strained, and you felt your heart clench at hearing it after trying to forget about how he sounded over the last month. You sniffled slightly, wiping your eyes and sitting up in bed as you nodded as if he could somehow see your movements through the phone. Milo shifted slightly at your movements, and your heart broke even more. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry it’s so late. Fuck, it’s like 2:30 there. I’m- god please don’t hang up.” He whispered. For a moment you felt like you could see him, probably pacing back and forth in his condo, hand running through his golden hair. You didn’t know why he was calling, and you didn’t know why you chose to answer, but you stayed on the line anyway, because what’s a broken heart at Christmas without the added pain of the one who shattered it waking you up at 2 am? 

“I’m here.” You said, your voice shaky. You leaned down to scratch Milo’s ear, your heart-tugging a big at knowing the breakup had not only affected you and Brock but the dogs as well. 

“Uhm, I..” Brock started, and you sighed softly into the phone.

“Brock, why are you calling?” There it was, the question he had expected. The question he had spent the last month preparing himself for, running through the lists and reasons in his mind constantly, and now that he was here, listening to you cry on the phone, he seemed to forget all of them. He felt like shit, not only for himself for ruining the best thing he ever had with you, but for calling you in the middle of the night on Christmas and making you cry all over again. 

“Come home. Or I’ll come there, I was wrong. I was so beyond wrong and to be honest, I’ve spent the entire last month knowing that. We were so happy, you know? I was thinking about rings and starting this whole life with you and I just lost myself, I started doubting us when it got serious because I was insecure, I was afraid you’d wake up one day and realize you don’t want me or this life. And I was wrong. I was wrong to hurt you, I was wrong to not talk to you about how I was feeling and I was wrong to break up with you when really all I want to do is marry you and have kids and, fuck, I just want all of that with you. So come home, let’s try again.” 

You curled into Milo, letting the tears fall down your cheeks as you took in the words he spoke. You knew Brock, and you knew he was telling the truth but was he worth risking everything for again. Could you realistically come back from this knowing that you could be sent packing up and back to Toronto at any time should he change his mind. It was a gamble, and you were never one to place bets when it came to your heart. 

“I’ll come to Toronto, I’ll book a flight right now, just to see you, just to try to show you that I want to make this up to you. I love you, let me show you that again.” Brock begged. 

“You’ll come to Toronto?” You squeaked, biting your lip in the darkness. 

“I already looked at flights, I can be there by 10.” He said. You let out a sob at his words, glancing at the clock and counting down how many hours that would be until you would face him. 

“I can’t lose you again. If we do this, I can’t.. Brock, I really can’t.” You whispered. 

You opened the door to him standing there, a bag on his shoulders, and his hands nervously tucked in his pockets. You passed over his hair that was covered in a dark beanie, his eyes tired and lacking the brightness you once always saw in him, his beard longer than he usually kept it. Brock looked like a reflection of you, a broken person who was wandering around trying to piece back together their own heart. You stepped out onto the porch, not caring that it was freezing cold and the snow was heavy. You didn’t care that you were just in leggings and an old sweatshirt of Brock’s you didn’t want to admit that you had taken from him. You reached out for him, burying yourself into his chest and letting the tears fall as you held each other for the first time in over a month. His hand ran through your hair as he pressed a light kiss to the top of your head. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He spoke, tilting your chin up so that his eyes could look into yours. 

“I missed you, and I love you, and please just-” Brock cut you off, pressing his lips against yours in a tender kiss. You felt yourself melt into him, the familiarity rushing back to you as he pulled you closer and deepened the kiss. You knew that the kiss couldn’t fix everything, that him coming to Toronto and back to you didn’t change what happened. But what you did know was that you had someone standing there who wanted you and had made a mistake, and maybe it was the holiday spirit talking, but you wanted to give him a second chance, and it was the only Christmas present that mattered.  

You held onto him tightly, tears stinging your cheeks from the cold. You didn’t even notice your mom had opened the front door behind you, instead you pulled apart from Brock when Milo came running up to your feet, jumping all over Brock and whining at him. 

“Milo, hi buddy, hi.” He cooed at the dog, squatting down and letting Milo jump all over him. It made you cry even more, realizing how hard the last few weeks without him had been. Brock looked up at you, a deep frown settling on his features because he knew all of your pain had been his fault. He stood up, letting Milo continue to jump on his legs as he grabbed your hands.

“There’s someone else who came with me.” He smiled softly. You furrowed your brow as he tangled his fingers with yours and led you down to where the car he must have rented was parked. You saw Coolie’s face in the window and you squeezed Brock’s hand tighter, your smile growing with each step closer to him you got. Brock opened the door, letting Coolie jump out and run all around you and him and Milo. His excitement coming out in loud whines. You watched as he and Milo started running around your yard together, standing close to Brock.

“It felt wrong without him.” You commented softly. Brock wrapped an arm around you and kissed your temple tenderly, a move that sent waves of calm through your body. You didn’t know what it would take to fix everything, but you had him here and he wanted to try. Maybe it would be rocky, maybe it would be hard, but losing each other even for just a few weeks only cemented in how sure you were about a life with him. So, even if it all crumpled later on, he still took an early morning flight to Toronto, and you weren’t going to send him away. 

[partnersatfazbear]

Sketchbook Pages 41, 42 (according to my notes)

Hope you guys are enjoying all these double uploads of art and fanfic =XD I’m just really wanting to leave yall with something to tide yourselves over!

To give some background info, I’ve been: drawing a lot of anatomy, especially legs; drawing a lot of non-FNAF fan art (because I’ve been playing old games as a comfort mechanism--I am absolutely miserable without my things and it sucks)

Page 41: I scribbled a lot of notes... Spoilers for RS Chapter... 17? Some fluff, some crazy!Will. I drew his face upside down and like... ya know without turning the paper, and it came out pretty creepy. I hate it XD I reread RS and I just really love William talking to the Spring Bonnie head. I’d probably watch an entire movie of him just crazy rambling, venting, and crying over this inanimate thing he loves. It’s really where you can tell William has gone off the deep end. Even though this was an idea I had originally, I’m glad that TSE’s actually reinforced the idea somewhat. Rewatching FNAF 6 again cuz why not... my wife and I always joke that Henry would encourage Mike to purposely fuck up the Scraptrap salvage mini-game. XD Drew a little comparison of my Mike and William, since they are very similar. The top drawings were done in a pen I prefer, but I misplaced it (like always) and had to switch to a more liquid pen and... well, my sketches get super sloppy with it since the heavier ink tends to dab and smear. I drew this spoiler sketch for Sammy and the AlmagAfton and was wondering where I got the inspiration from (pretty sure it was End of Evangelion. I’ve been biding my time waiting for my wife’s vacation to watch Evangelion 4.0 and it sucks waiting. End of Evangelion, which 4.0 is a recreation of, happens to be in like my top 3 anime films of all time, so...) ANYWAY, I decided to give CEO!Sammy a rabbit... he names it PJ... I very very much picture him like a Bond villain and that’s OK. =:) Oh, the random girl in the center is my personal OC. I wanted to draw her in the night guard uniform >>; She’s a cop in my universe, anyway...

Page 42: The top left has some scraps from other pages (you aren’t missing anything, I was doing non FNAF comic page planning underneath). These were done in pencil, hence the shade difference. Drawing faces and emotions is a huge comfort for me.Like I said before, I reread RS and it’s such a shame Elizabeth and Charlotte didn’t hang out more “on screen”, as I think Charlotte would be this quiet, mature type; Elizabeth is an impulsive and stubborn type (like their old men, I guess). So, like, Elizabeth could get Charlotte to open up more and Charlotte could teach Elizabeth some manners XD There’s a small sketch in the center of a (badly drawn) William for the scene when the Mangle prototype briefly comes to life due to the dog remnant. It’s a creepy scene in the story, even if the theory is universally hated now. It’s not something I believe, really, but I NEEDED it to happen so William could discover Remnant. There’s more angry William and a few more sketches of CEO!Sammy. I really have fun drawing him and I was refining the idea from the previous page. He’s one of many posessed by Glitchtrap, so I tried to show that... (Also, it bothers me that he looks like Rasputin from Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha 1, BUT its fine. I’ll deal with it.) Please ignore my Aerith sketches. Since my PS4 HDMI died and I can’t get it repaired and I can’t find/afford a PS5 and I haven’t experimented with remote play as a back up yet, I can’t replay FFVIIR, so I’m playing FFVII on my Switch again. Aerith is probably my favorite character of all time, so...

As you guys may have guessed I’m really revving up on inspiration to try and finish Truth Seeker... I think I will be posting more of it soon as the final two chapters of RS come out.

If you like my work, please reblog it, share it, or at least comment and let me know what you loved =:) I really wanna cater more to you guys, but I have no idea where to begin!

[twdmusicboxmystery]

10x18: Find Me: Bethyl Template - Part 2

CLICK HERE TO READ PART 1 FIRST

***As always, spoilers for 10x18 abound below. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Then one year later, when he met Dog as an adult and then Leah, he didn't have the eye scar yet, and he does still have the wing. At this point, six months later, this is where the eye scar shows up. So, third flashback. Then we see it. It's very red and swollen, so it's obviously fresh. It hasn't actually scarred yet.

I honestly couldn't tell if he had the wing here because he was wearing a poncho. I watched the whole thing and it never shows a shot of his vest. So, I don't know whether the wing was there or not.

But during this flashback, we see him sitting alone at his camp and he's setting out his knife. The fact that it shows the knife is probably important, but all we see him do is set it on a stump in front of him. He hears rustling behind him, and it startles him. He picks up the knife to defend himself, but it's just Dog coming to see him.

As soon as he sees Dog, he kind of smiles and gets happy. He says, "hey. Where have you been?" Guys. I honestly think this represents him reuniting with Beth. He hasn't seen dog in a long time, and he's pleased to see him. The camera pans outward when he starts playing with Dog and we get this massive shot of the sun. It's almost washing everything out. I think it’s super-significant that the eye scar shows up during this representation of him being reunited with Beth. Because a scar over the eye is a Sirius symbol. Return. Reunion. Resurrection.

So, I’ve seen people complaining that they didn’t show us how he got the scar. I hear ya. I want to know, too. And maybe they’ll still show us at some point. I kinda think they will. But what’s important here is WHEN it shows up. In conjunction with his and Beth’s reunion.

Then he takes Dog back to Leah. This is kind of where the romance part starts and I also think it's where the symbolism gets really, really complicated. Daryl and Leah have this back-and-forth banter that's kinda cute. And we definitely see Daryl looking happier. So, she says thanks for bringing them back and she says, "he likes you.” Daryl smiles and says, "he's just a dog. He doesn’t know any better," which is both self-deprecating and endearing. And Leah says, "yeah, well." Which I take to mean that she likes him too. This is where he asks her what the dog's name is and she tells him that it's Dog. He razzes her about it, and she says, "you got anything better?" He says no, but then he says, "at least you won't forget what he is." I feel like that’s a really on-the-nose way of pointing to Dog and telling us to notice the symbol.

Now, the reason I say it's complicated here is because I feel like the symbols start to mesh and it's really hard to disentangle them from here on out. Because I still think the Dog = Beth, but to some extent, Leah also = Beth. I mean, obviously this doesn’t point to Daryl having a romantic relationship with Leah while Beth (Dog) sits in the corner slobbering, right?

So, I think both of them represent Beth, but in different ways. I think at this point, the Leah and Daryl stuff become both a foreshadow of what’s to come, in terms of the CRM and the spinoff, but also a foreshadow of Daryl’s eventual relationship with Beth. And it’s also retelling some of Beth and Daryl’s arc from S4/S5. So yeah, it’s complicated.

But let’s look at the sequence so far. Daryl meets baby Dog. Daryl loses Beth, storm like Them. Then Daryl meets Dog again and he’s much older. Dog lead him to Leah, who also symbolically represents Beth. Then we see a second representation of him reuniting with Beth/Dog, and then this romance blossoms. So Leah is just a stand in for Beth and Daryl’s romance with Beth.

Much of the time, Leah represents Daryl and Daryl represents Beth, at least in the retellings. In the foreshadows, Leah more often represents Beth.

So, we get another eight-month time jump. This is when Daryl is surrounded by walkers and Leah helps save him. They both hide in the copse of trees. Okay, this is a replay of Beth and Daryl being in the trunk in Still. I get that this is gonna freak people out a little bit because they’ll think it's taking the symbolism from Beth and giving it to Leah. But that's looking at it backwards. It's not that Still was pointing to Leah. It's that this is a replay of Beth. It’s a template for Daryl’s arc. 

So on TTD, they described this scene with Leah in a way that you could also describe Beth and Daryl being in the trunk in Still. They say it's sort of this forced intimacy where they’re thrown together to hide from the walkers, much like in Still. And because they are pressed up against a bunch of trees, we get actual tree trunks instead of the trunk of the car. Interestingly, Daryl actually rejects Leah at this point.

You can tell Daryl felt the sexual tension between them and it freaked him out, so he basically told her to go away and leave him alone. This is a defense mechanism for Daryl. 

Originally, I told my fellow theorists that obviously Daryl wasn’t that harsh with Beth when they got out of the trunk in Still, but he was still emotionally unavailable. They disagreed with me, saying, “The thing about that scene with the trunk and they made note of this on TTD, that they never spoke to one another, not a sentence was said between them, there were nods and indications but no dialogue. And when the next day when they're ready to leave Daryl looks at Beth as if not seeing her, "you looked at me like I'm a dead girl." He walked away as if she wasn't even there there's a long pause and then she follows at a distance. I always thought that was about him leaving her behind at Grady, thinking she was dead. So I think you could compare that to him walking away from Beth just like he walked away from Leah. Another comparison with Beth from the episodes Still and Leah.”

I hadn’t thought about it that way, but I agree. I think they’re spot on about that.

So yeah. Callback to Still.

We have another three-month time jump. And this time, we clearly see that the wing is gone from his vest. He goes back to Leah and throws the fish at her door. The joke on TTD that this is his idea of a first date. To throw a dead fish at the girl’s door.

It took me a while to pin this one down, and actually it was my fellow theorists who did it, remembering details I didn’t. Daryl doesn’t throw a fish at Beth, but he does throw a bottle of water when she says she wants a drink. He’s very flippant about it. She gets mad and throws it back at him, saying “not that. I mean a real drink.”

Here, he throws a fish at Leah’s door. She gets salty and comes to his camp and throws it back at him, saying she doesn’t need him to fish for her. That parallels to Beth’s, “I can take care of myself,�� and “get my own damn drink.”

Are we seeing the replay?

In the scene, Daryl is warming his fingers by the fire and Leah recognizes that he has frost nip. This a “frosty cola” sort of symbol. Leah takes him back to her cabin where it's warmer. We might see it as her healing him or sort of giving him medical treatment. Not really treatment so much as just a building where it's warm, but it did sort of cure his frost nip.

He sleeping and wakes up because he hears glass breaking (broken glass theme). She accidentally dropped the picture of her son in the glass frame broke. This is where she opens up to him and tells him about her son and her past.

Here, we have more Beth-related details. She’s thinking about her son, Matthew (biblical name) because today is his birthday. Birthday mentions are a Beth/Still thing. Leah talks about how she found the family after the apocalypse first happened. They fought together and gave her hope. This could very easily be Daryl talking about finding Rick's group.

Here’s the thing: The story Leah told tells Daryl is a major head cannon I've had for Beth. I've often thought that because of the child and baby symbolism we see around her, Beth will have either a child or children with her when she returns. I've always kind of wondered if it would be a matter of her taking on the children of other people who have died. So, I can see her having had a best friend, a surrogate sister (just as Maggie and Kelly are surrogate sisters now, Beth finds one as well) and she's taking care of that woman's baby. (The whole Jocelyn/Scars template plays into this as well.)

But that's exactly what Leah says here. But her best friend or sister had a baby and she started taking care of him because the sister died. I 100% think this is a foreshadow of Beth when she reappears. She’ll tell Daryl a very similar story. More evidence? Leah says, "this doesn't matter. He's gone."

She then said that she got separated from her family and ran. And eventually ended up at the cabin where she realized her son had been bitten.

Okay this is going to sound really weird, but I do think it’s a thing. @frangipanilove​ picked up on the fact that Leah says Dog was born on the same day her son Matthew died. That’s a major resurrection symbol, guys.

I had to sit and think about how this all fit together. I'm kind of thinking that in this scenario, Leah represents Daryl and both Matthew and Dog represent Beth. It's a little weird is because it suggests that Beth is Daryl’s daughter, which we obviously don’t believe. Just in terms of the sequence, we had that the group scattered and Daryl ran from the prison with Beth, just like Leah ran with her son. The boy was bitten. A lot of us believe Beth was bitten on her way to Grady. And then, the boy died just as the Dog/Sirius character was born. So we have a representation of the young, weak character dying and the stronger one being reborn. Meanwhile, Matthew was very young when he died. And we’re back to Emily’s “I’m a baby” post.

It also put me in mind of the song Beth sings to baby Judith at the prison in 4a. It has lines like, "I don't want to grow up," and, "I wish that I could be a dog."

Leah says she’s been alone ever since then, until Daryl showed up. Well, Daryl’s been alone ever since leaving Beth, until he met Leah. (Who symbolically, is Beth.)

Then we see Leah fishing just as Carol did, and she's good at it and we see them smiling at each other. This is where they’re actually kind of happy and where the romance happens. Again, I feel like this is just indicative of Beth and Daryl. Her being good at fishing is a whole lot like Beth being good at the crossbow. Daryl kind of teaches Leah to fish as he taught Beth to use the crossbow. And he’s impressed at her immediate skill.

We also see him walking away from her with the map and with Dog, presumably to look for Rick. So, the suggestion is there that he continued to look for Rick while he was with her. We also get the sex implication here. Again, a foreshadow of Beth and Daryl. And I honestly think the reason we didn’t see more of a sex scene is specifically because this isn’t his major, true love relationship. They didn’t want to put that much importance or emphasis on it. We’ll probably see a lot more when it’s really him and Beth. More on that in tomorrow’s post, because the writers actually do (kind of) confirm this on TTD.

During this part, we also see them lying on the refrigerator watching the eclipse. I’m not going to go into tons of detail about this right now, but just know that it’s an important Beth symbol for two reasons. 

1) Gimple once used the word “penumbra” to talk about Beth and Coda. Check out the post about it HERE. The penumbra is literally one part of the shadow cast by an eclipse. That’s a very simplified definition, but just know that we have it from Gimple’s own lips back in S5 that eclipse = Beth. It also ties to Maggie in Them saying, “this is just the dark part.” I always knew that line had more meaning.

2) There are a lot of symbols from Alone going on here. They’re lying on a fridge. In Alone, Beth peers into an empty fridge in the kitchen. The eclipse represents a cosmic/solar event. The one-eyed dog in Alone represents Sirius, the returning Dog Star. Here we have Daryl and Leah cuddling. In Alone, we have the “Oh” moment. See what I mean?

Then it says 10 months later. The two of them are sitting at the table eating. Lots of details here. This parallels the Alone dinner scene. One major difference is that Daryl and Leah sit across the table from each other rather than side by side. Why is that important. Because side by side they assume the positioning of the Holy Grail. This is really complex symbolism, but think The Da Vinci Code. The angle between Beth and Daryl here is the same angle between Christ and Mary Madeline in the famous Last Supper painting. (Remember how Daryl looked at that in Gabe’s church in 5x02?). This represents true love or soulmates. And since Leah and Daryl sit across from each other, on a macro level, it simply shows she’s not his true love.

By now, I hope you’ve accepted that. But @frangipanilove​ found way more detail on this scene. In Alone, Daryl suggests they stay at the funeral home and make a life together. So, it’s equal but opposite here. Leah wants him to stay with her full time, and he doesn’t want to. In Alone, there’s no question of where he belongs. He belongs with Beth. Here, when Leah asks him where he belongs, he gets teary-eyed and says he doesn’t know.

But think about that answer as well. She asks him a question, and the answer is, “I don’t know.” In Alone, Beth: “What changed your mind.” Daryl: “I don’t know.” (Indistinctly mumbled).

Are we seeing the parallels and anti-parallels? In all the important ways (Daryl doesn’t love Leah like he did Beth) they’re anti-parallels. But they’re also a complete replay of Beth and Daryl’s arc. And we constantly see Daryl trudging along the river. Along the pathway that will eventually lead him toward peace.

That’s another big theme here. Carol wants him to find peace. He says he’s glad she found peace. Guess what’s at the end of Daryl’s river, folks? Beth. All roads lead to Beth.

So let’s repeat, because it bears repeating, that when Leah gives him an ultimatum, he very obviously doesn’t choose her. Then we see Daryl back at his camp by the river. When Carol shows up to talk to him, he doesn't seem at all upset or lonely or teary-eyed. It's like he's made a decision and he's at peace with it. Is he in love with Leah? Not so much.

So, we really thought that Carol telling him she wouldn’t be back for a while would be what spurs him to go back to Leah and leave the note. Because he’d feel lonely and abandoned, but that’s clearly not the case. He leaves Carol with calm resolve and determination. Not despair or loneliness.

And the next part makes no sense at all. At least, within the episode, it doesn’t. He’s walking through the woods and, for no apparent reason, he suddenly stops and his face changes. It’s like he had some sudden epiphany and realization. And that sends him running back to Leah’s cabin.

So, of course people are going to interpret that as Daryl suddenly “realizing” he’s in love with Leah. But I promise that’s not what this is about. 

Okay, I’m about to get super abstract on you. Deep breath. Here goes.

Because the first thing I thought of here was 6x03. Anyone who’s followed me very long has heard me harp on The Weirdness of Daryl in 6x03. You can read my (super old) original post HERE. In that episode, he’s with Sasha and Abe, leading the walkers away, and he hears Rick get attacked by the wolves. He freaks out and leaves them to go look for Rick and help him. So we literally have him on his motorcycle, feverishly searching for Rick.

At one point, he stops the bike and puts his head down, looking super-conflicted. Then, at the end, we see him calmly return to Sasha and Abraham, with no explanation for why he stopped looking for Rick or what his thought process was.

Yeah, that’s weird. Almost out of character for Daryl.

 But I always thought that, whatever that represented, would lead to Beth, because the next episode we see about Daryl is 6x06, which we all know is chalk full of Beth symbolism. And CRM symbolism. And is a representation of him finding Beth.

Well, we have the exact same foreshadow here. Think about it. Daryl is looking for Rick, along the river. Some mysterious epiphany pulls him away from that search, and he goes to Leah’s cabin. When he gets there, he finds Dog (Beth).

So, here’s what I’m almost certain this is telling us. 

1) When Daryl and Carol hop on his bike at the end of S11 to kick us into the spinoff, they’ll be looking for Rick. I don’t know how/why. They’ll hear some rumor or possibility of him being alive. I even think it may just be a rumor, and Daryl won’t know if it’s true. But that won’t matter to Daryl. If there’s any chance at all, he’s gone. Looking for Rick. And Carol will be like, “Scoot. I’m coming.”

(Side note: Every time they say the spinoff is going to be a road-trip, monster-of-the-week Daryl and Carol romp, that’s absolute bullshit. That’s not what it’s going to be. It’s going to continue the story from the main show, and they’ll be searching for Rick. They’re just describing it the other way right now because they don’t want to give spoilers.)

2) Daryl and Carol will part ways at some point. Daryl will want to continue looking for Rick, and Carol will want him to come with her, probably to go find Ezekiel. (So Daryl and Carol’s arguments in the flashbacks are also foreshadows. She wants him to stop looking for Rick and find some peace. She’ll probably say something similar to that to him in the spinoff, but like he does in 10x18, he’ll tell her to go find her peace (Zeke) but he’s going to keep searching for Rick.

3) For the whole epiphany part, I was thinking that whatever Leah represents (let’s say the CRM, just as an example) that will pull him away from his search for Rick. And the reason we don’t get his thought process, the reason it doesn’t make sense here, is because it foreshadows what’s happening in the spinoff, and they aren’t going to give us too many clues about that. But whatever it is that pulls him away from his search for Rick (i.e. going to Leah’s cabin), he’ll meet Dog (Beth) along the way.

But then, while I was writing this, another powerful parallel leapt to mind. While thinking about this, I started phrasing it in my head as Daryl changing his mind. Something will change Daryl’s mind about looking for Rick.

And then it clicked.

Where have we heard that before? At the Alone dinner.

 Beth: What changed your mind?

Daryl: I don't know.

Beth: Don't mm-mmm. What changed your mind?

So, this is going to be a HUGE moment in the arc. For the spinoff, Daryl and Carol will be looking for Rick on his bike. (Incidentally-but-not-so-much, he's looking for Rick on his bike in 6x03.) He’s going to have to change his mind about looking for Rick before he can find Beth. And we have the answer laid out for us during the Alone dinner. Gimple is seriously a freaking genius.

It made me realize I was overcomplicating what I thought would happen in the spinoff. I said Daryl would be searching for Rick, but something would pull him away from that search and when he left it, he'd run into Beth. (My logic was that he went to see Leah, and met Dog. So whatever Leah represents, it will pull him away from his search for Rick, and THEN he'll find Beth.) 

But again, that was overcomplicating it. Because symbolically, Leah IS Beth. And think about his answer to Beth's question. "What changed your mind?" And he just STARES at her. Because the answer is Beth. It's always Beth. She is literally the only thing that would pull him away from his search for Rick. The ONLY thing. So, it all amounts to the same thing. And that's why it doesn't make sense in 10x18 or 6x03. Because they can't tell us it's Beth and they can't come up with anything compelling enough to pull him away from searching for Rick that wouldn't be completely contradictory to Daryl's character. It's just...Beth. It always is.

So we pretty much have the entire dinner scene from Alone replayed. The dinner, the questions, What made you change your mind? I don’t know. Beth wanted to leave a note in case they came back. Daryl left Leah a note in case she came back....

But to come back to 10x18, it’s also important that Dog stayed behind when Leah disappeared. Because Dog = Beth, and Beth said, “I’m not gonna leave you.”

Here are some rapid fire details I forgot to include:

There’s a small game trap hanging on Leah’s cabin, like the one Beth stepped on in Alone.

Leah’s cabin is built to look like the moonshine shack. Look at the windows and the porch. At first, I thought they’d used the same structure. But then my peeps reminded me that they actually burnt down the moonshine shack while filming Still. So this isn’t the same one. It’s just meant to look like it.

He speaks to Leah of his brother (Rick) in this episode. In Still, he spoke to Beth about his brother Merle.

At the end, Carol says losing Leah “is not on you.” Which is exactly what Rick said to Daryl in 4x16, when they talked about the Claimers and then Beth.

Leah says, “beautiful, isn’t it?” of the eclipse, which equates to Beth saying, “Don’t you think that’s beautiful?” in Alone.

At the end, after leaving the note, Daryl says to Dog, “we’re gonna get her back.” Which he doesn’t. Daryl said that same thing to Carol in Consumed about Beth. So that’s a bit of replay of Consumed. And he didn’t get Beth back like he wanted, either.

Other random but relevant things AK said: She said this episode is very much about incompleteness and longing, about memory and things left unresolved. Obviously that applies to Leah, but it also very much applies to Beth.

She also says flat out that Dog is an important tie between Daryl and Leah. She's hinting at the symbolism there. She Daryl wanted to find peace with Leah and he goes back but it's already too late and she's gone. If nothing else, Leah is definitely a proxy for Beth in that way. Because we believe that when he went back, Beth’s body was gone and he probably searched for her. Same thing happened with Leah, but it doesn't look like his search was nearly as expansive for her.

AK also says that Daryl’s time on the mountain with Leah is over. He has turned his back on it. So I think if Leah showed up again in the present, he would be drawn to her little bit just because there's a history there, but he wouldn't want to go off somewhere and live with her either. Angela said he's accepted that he needs now to be at home. He has people he cares about and they’re his responsibility now. She said that's one of the reasons he gets so angry with Carol. He wants her to choose that as well. To choose to be at home helping take care of people. But she keeps trying to run away. So, he's calling her out on that.

Do you see? Do you see why I’m perfectly okay with this episode? Do you see why, even though I don’t like Leah or her relationship to Daryl, I actually feel better about TD after watching this episode than I ever have?

 Once again, this episode shows us Daryl’s entire arc toward Beth, from when they left the prison together in S4 to how they’ll reunite. It shows his path and how it’s always moved him slowly but consistently toward his peace, which is with Beth. It replays their arc together with these beautiful aerial shots. All while Daryl trudges with his bow along the river.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Continued thoughts on RE8

This was copied when I was making my DeviantArt journal about this. And ah, thank goodness, I don’t need to space out shit. Guess DA using numbers like that helps me out lol.

Hope the title is creative enough. But...the game has been out a month. But I'll tag spoilers anyway. So I got done with the game at 12:04 or well, I put my PS4 into rest mode to charge my controller. I'm gonna say three things.

Donna's death honestly fucked me up...and not in a good way.

Moreau is likely the best boss in the game. Maybe.

Shut your fucking hole is honestly funny.

Okay but yes, I finally played more of Resident Evil 8. And surprisingly, and I wanted to save and be done with the game after I got into the confrontation with Heisenberg.

Let me be honest with you all. Resident Evil 8 is a fine game. While I am still critical about it's story and what choices they made. The gameplay is pretty fine, and I think it's an overall nice or alright experience. While I don't think this is the best RE game ever. And I do think this game got too much of high praising. It was overhyped honestly. But I do feel like it becomes I guess more enjoyable as you play it.

Now I'm gonna go over me going through the sections I talked about real quick. And no, I didn't beat Heisenberg...I haven't yet.

Donna and Angie's section is maybe the best part of the game. Gonna admit when you go to House Beneviento, it's actually beautiful seeing a waterfall beside it. And while I do think the Silent Hill comparisons are...I'm no expert. I've only watched movie format of the first four Silent Hill games. But that part is where the game is scariest at. Despite me being annoyed by the puzzle stuff in one part of this game. Luckily, I feel great I decided not to look anything up.

But I guess it's the closest we'll get to a modern Silent Hill game. But I overall loved this part of the game. Despite I was being stupid and didn't put half of a child puzzle piece into a door for a few minutes. I will admit, I do feel like the puzzles are easier than usual than older RE games...which is kind of fine with me.

Also that giant fetus baby thing is fucking creepy. Thank God I wasn't devoured by it...but amused I was spooked by maybe the projection falling and bookcases moving. Which I dubbed Scooby Doo shit.

And...I'm sorry, I was not expecting Donna's death to go like that...like wow...despite what my friend told me about...wow...just saying, I am not selling Alcina Dimitrescu's or Moreau's remains to the Duke. And I'm sure as Hell not selling Angie either. Besides, I get a lot of money in this game already. Seriously, I'm loaded.

It's just silly like...I didn't want to go to Donna's house first but I had to. Will admit, I do feel like she was underdeveloped. And that could go as well to maybe the other lords. And I did go back to Donna's place to get her treasure...where I fought this fucking giant with an axe...and I'm really interested in who the Hell is that Claudia Beneviento. Considering she died very young.

Moreau's section was pretty fine. But I think along with Alcina's section, was a pretty nice place. While Donna's section seemed a bit more simple, it was more focused on, creeping the shit out of me. Yet I was still terrified being in Castle Dimitrescu because it was my first time...and may still could be scared if I replay the game again after I finish it.

Will admit, I was annoyed I got killed by Moreau three times in the water. I think the reason I liked his part because his boss felt very classic Resident Evil. Maybe almost like Nemesis when he's fully unleashed in the original RE3. I feel like Moreau was pretty unique. Despite at first...kind of wonder if I do want him to look more a Gilman creature. Because he's likely inspired by that those kinds of films.

Also I will admit this, him popping up as a huge fish at first spooked me. Continuing on, I have been going to wells and using the crank to collect shit. Which got me to collect Alcina's golden statue of herself. Which yes...is very narcissistic of her haha! Along with the treasure from Donna...and I forgot to mention I've finished those first three...weird ball games...

Gonna admit, I strangely feel reminded of Sonic Spinball and those pinball sections in the Sonic series. I sound stupid saying that. They are interesting puzzles. I'm just glad and to me personally, Alcina's ones was the most tricky.

So after I beat Moreau, I got the Wolfbane, which was the pistol I was very interested in and it killed that weird beast(Is it like a dog turned Lycan dog or something?)...in one shot...this is maybe the strongest gun in the game. Holy shit, Barry Burton would be proud.

But yeah, I went through the Lycan's den. Turns out, Heisenberg wasn't there. Also the grenade launcher is great to use too. And seriously, the amount of Lycans heads I've blown up with mainly a normal pistol amazes me. Holy crap, I killed a shit ton of them, so many heads blown up.

After getting that last flask and finally opening a way to Heisenberg's factory, I finally get to meet the fella. To be honest, I'm not huge on Karl's voice. I've heard it before, and I know the voice actor got inspiration from Nicholas Cage...but I just imagine Karl's voice to be different. Maybe Cage when his voice is higher pitched, but I forget. Maybe if I get used to it, I'll be fine with it. Here's one of the more amusing lords and...really, the four lords and a lot of other stuff is why I like this game.

What I hate is of what later on happens and...the future of these main games.

I also wanna say that the part I saved on is when I have to escape the factory. But holy shit, how the fuck can the Duke get into these fucking places or whatever. At least the Merchant made sense and whatever else...I'm rambling on. I just find it amusing that this huge character can get into certain places that would maybe seem impossible or not.

But yeah...I'm very likely close to the end of the game. Played a couple of hours. Maybe 3 to 4 or so. While I am...critical of this chapter of the RE franchise. There are things I genuinely liked. I just strangely hate...that this is the final product and we're gonna have to live with it. This is the RE game people are making memes about...I shouldn't be very excited for the new movie reboot this year...but that's what I'm more excited for.

The 25th anniversary of Resident Evil has been going good. Despite my feelings on this new main game.

I remember now, I feel like when I finish this game and I be more detailed with my criticisms. I've heard from a good friend of mine that Under The Mayo has similar opinions to us of how we feel about Resident Evil 8...yet before I decided to listen to the usual 1 hour version of the RE8 save room theme. Which is this.

Resident Evil 8: Village Save Room 1 Hour Extended - YouTube

A day ago, he posted a video that has this thumbnail and the title of how God Of War ruined Resident Evil...I'm really wondering how the fuck is that possible. And my usual bitching is about the fact we hardly see our old characters anymore(Such as Jill who isn't such a big focus anymore), some characters are not better expanded upon or whatever else, and the future...I'm just not interested. Despite I've said to a friend I could be interested in seeing how it goes...

I just explained a little of what I had problems with. I'm just gonna say Capcom needs to be a bit more ambitious and meaningful with their storytelling now. Which may sound stupid...I just want better for this series. And when mentioning that upcoming movie. If we ever get a movie adaption of RE7 and 8, ESPECIALLY 8, I want that to be a loose adaptation and some shit changed.

[karakozakov]

Fic Rec Time!! Pt.4!

Some really great fanfics are here!

I apologize in advance if I’ve already written some of them in my earlier fic rec posts. Also, this post is very long.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Haikyuu!!

national hot dad alliance is now calling... by dicaeopolis, owlinaminor

Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Bokuto Koutarou/Akaashi Keiji, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Kozume Kenma, Ushijima Wakatoshi/Tendou Satori

Words: 58214 | Chapters: 6/6

Sawamura Daichi: What the fuck.

(Or, the captains' squad interactions that definitely happen outside of canon, presented in Skype chat form.)

the dream that wakes you up by rarepairenabler

Relationship: Kuroo Tetsurou/Oikawa Tooru

Words: 38,277 | Chapters: 9/9

Oikawa’s offering a repeat performance of that night, the night that Kuroo’s been replaying in his mind ever since it happened. Fuck.

“You’re not that good,” Kuroo argues weakly but Oikawa looks like he knows he’s already won.

“I am that good.” There isn't a single trace of doubt to it. His confidence would be nauseating if Kuroo didn’t know firsthand that there was good reason for it. Oikawa laughs and outstretches his hand to Kuroo. “So what do you say, Kuroo? Do we have a deal?”

Kuroo sighs before offering a resigned grin. He takes Oikawa’s hand and shakes it firmly. “When do we get started?”

((Pretend Dating AU))

In Another Life by LittleLuxray

Relationship: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou

Words: 22,995 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warning: Major Character Death

Sleeping didn't come as easy as it used to. Bokuto knew this, and now Akaashi did, too.

The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write.

Personal Notes: This is very angsty and you all can have it with Bokuaka. Check Nero’s art too!!

the inherent eroticism of coordinating schedules by mozaikmage

Relationships:  Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi, Oikawa Tooru & Ushijima Wakatoshi

Words: 15,447 | Chapters: 2/2

Tetsurou Kuroo, Editor-in-Chief of the college lit mag "Langue de Chat," thinks the lit mag and the Flying Crows Dance Crew should do an inter-club collaboration. Dance Crew captain Daichi Sawamura isn't sure how that's going to work. Meanwhile, the Environmental Club and Anime Club butt heads over a scheduling conflict involving the school auditorium.

An AU in which all of the Haikyuu!! volleyball teams are instead different school clubs at one university.

Impulse by Metis_Ink

Relationship: Shirabu Kenjirou/Semi Eita

Words: 15,075 | Chapters: 1/1

Semi’s not sure how subtle the team is trying to be, but there must be some ungodly conspiracy pointed against him. It’s working in the sense that Semi is half aware that maybe this rivalry with Shirabu is a lot more troublesome than it seems, but really, that’s all he's getting.

Or

Second year Semi Eita faces the downward spiral that is his life following the arrival of some first year setter who's way too cocky for his own good.

The Five Stages Of Grief by Finnis

Words: 17,150 | Chapters: 5/5

Set of 100 drabbles, Haikyuu!! cast-centric (especially Shiratorizawa). 5 sets of 20.

Shirabu howls in pain as he regards both Tendou and Goshiki with his lethal stare that could probably outmatch Medusa. “Are you both fucking thick?” He asks incredulously, not expecting an actual answer.

Tendou grins, waggling his eyebrows, and playfully slaps his thigh. “Obviously.”

The PDA jar by orphan_account

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Words: 10,480 | Chapters: 1/1

“What is that thing for?”

“I’m glad you asked, captain. This… is the Public Display of Affection jar. Or PDA jar for short.”

“Now whenever you do something that may hurt our children’s innocence, you’ll have to put money in the jar as a punishment."

greek tragedy by ineedmygirl

Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Futakuchi Kenji/Tsukishima Kei, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi

Words: 89,720 | Chapters: 3/3

“I’m Tsukishima Kei, from the Athena cabin.”

Kuroo blinked at him a few times, before cautiously taking Tsukishima’s pale, slender hand into his own much larger, much broader and tanner hand. He had scars and callouses that didn’t come from games of capture the flag.

“Kuroo.”

He didn’t say who his parent was.

or, Tsukishima had seen everything there was to see at Camp Half Blood. That is, until Kuroo Tetsurou fell out of the sky.

The Star-Crossed Voyage by Stacysmash

Relationship: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou

Words: 109,134 | Chapters: 11/11

As private investigators, Akaashi and Bokuto hardly ever have time for a vacation, no matter how much they need one. After successfully handling an investigation for the wealthy Oikawa Tooru, they're invited on board his yacht for a leisurely three-day cruise with several other guests. Instead of relaxation, however, what they receive is the case of a lifetime.

hachiko by owlinaminor

Relationship: Kuroo Tetsurou/Oikawa Tooru

Words: 12,683 | Chapters: 1/1

Agreeing to watch Iwaizumi's dog for the summer was a bad idea. Not because Oikawa Tooru is a bad caretaker (he isn't), but because of this asshole he keeps running into.

All this time, I have been yours by cathgotyourtongue

Relationship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Iwaizumi Hajime/Sugawara Koushi

Words: 8,710 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warning: Major Character Death, Mature Content

Iwaizumi Hajime struggles through the Five Stages of the Hanahaki Disease.

Just a Taste by volleydorkscentral

Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Words: 213,084 | Chapters: 41/41 | Warning: Mature Content

“If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen,” is a popular saying… heat, however, is the least dangerous thing one should worry about in a kitchen. Between the fire, sharp utensils, red hot pans, the Mandolin God, and lunatic co-workers, Kuroo has his work cut out for him when he returns home from Paris after nine years to open his own restaurant. He’s determined to show off — ahem, to demonstrate all that he’s learned at the helm of world renowned chefs in Michelin Star kitchens.

Bokuto Koutarou tends to have more passion than sense. He joins Kuroo’s brigade on a whim after nearly slicing his hand off… and realizes just how much knowledge he’s actually lacking. He’s worked in kitchens his entire life, but none like Kuroo’s kitchen so, with excitement and trepidation, he throws himself into his work with Kuroo. And when he meets a lovely model named Akaashi, he decides to use his new found knowledge to help Akaashi fall in love with him. After all, the fastest way to a man’s heart is his stomach — right?

I'm sorry by BlazingNerz

Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru

Words: 6,836 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warnings: Major Character Death

Atsumu didn’t really know when it all started, he just knew he was different. The urges-- They drove him. And did the same for his friends as well. Red, that’s what they would see when they snap, the sound around them would disappear and the background around them faded until their target is the only object clear in their line of sight. The urge grows and grows, their anxiety grows until it is unbearable. Their palms would itch, eyes would twitch and could barely process a thought, they have to do something about it.

So they do.

Atsumu knew that him and his friends weren’t normal, but he didn’t question it. They had a system and it worked, now if only their damn partners would get off their backs. -------------

Aka Atsumu and his friends just try to live normal lives while suffering with a mental illness that urges them to kill

True Colors by DeathBelle 

Relationship: Semi Eita/Tendou Satori

Words: 52,243 | Chapters: 11/11 | Warning: Explicit

Semi has danced at so many clubs that he hardly even notices a difference when he moves from city to city. It's always the same crowds no matter where he goes, and he always has to share a stage with the same backstabbing assholes. That's just how the club scene works, and he knows Plumage won't be any different.

Except instead of talking shit and sabotaging him, the dancers at Plumage initiate a different sort of harassment that involves repeated attempts to befriend him and non-optional invitations out to dinner. It's almost worse this way, because at least in the past, Semi had known what to expect.

The worst of them all is Tendou Satori, who is unrelenting in his pursuit of friendship, despite how many times Semi shoots him down. Tendou is obnoxious and never learned the art of taking a hint, and despite his best efforts, Semi gradually finds himself hating Tendou's company less and less. It's a perilous slope, and Semi keeps sliding.

The Piano Man's Elegy by  SadLesbianPrincess

Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Ushijima Wakatoshi

Words: 81,295 | Chapters: 27/27 | Warning: Explicit

Tooru Oikawa, at twenty-four years old, is hailed as one the greatest concert pianists of all time. So when he is forced by extenuating circumstances to give up his career as a pianist, he spirals into hopelessness and confusion. Then, the day after his last concert, he runs into Hajime Iwaizumi--the best friend and lover who he thought was dead for six years. Upon their unexpected reunion, Tooru finds himself thrown into a complicated, emotional web of unrequited love, redemption, longing, and secrets. Things only get more complicated when he meets Hajime's detective partner, the stoic and earnest Wakatoshi Ushijima, and he has to navigate a new world of beauty, pain, and his own selfishness.

Personal Notes: This is heckin’ angsty and has one of the most beautiful writing styles I’ve ever seen. There’s also a sequel told through Kageyama’s POV!

The Daddy of All Lists by bloo_balloon 

Relationships: Semi Eita/Tendou Satori, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou

Words: 1,917 | Chapters: 2/? | Warning: Work in progress

In which four tired RAs proceed to have a collective brain aneurysm over the boldness, stupidity, ingenuity, extreme thirst and party antics of their dormmates.

Birthed from their pain and suffering is a list of simple, easy to follow dorm rules.

Ladies and gentlemen, The List™. The Daddy of All Lists™.

Personal Notes: This story cracked me up

Eggplant Party by extrastellar

Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio ,Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Terushima Yuuji/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Goshiki Tsutomu/Kawanishi Taichi, Kuguri Naoyasu/Numai Kazuma, Onaga Wataru/Suzumeda Kaori, Shirabu Kenjirou/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Daishou Suguru/Yamamoto Taketora, and many many more - Relationship

Words: 81,904 | Chapters: 64/66 | Warning: Work in progress

When Yamaguchi Tadashi decided to follow his senpais' example and created a group chat with the intention of friendly texting about school and volleyball, he didn't expect things to proceed quite like that. With all the first years put together, chaos, memes and shenanigans ensue.

Personal Notes: I know some of you don’t like chatfics but I promise this one’s fun!   

Happier With You by Stacysmash

Relationship: Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi

Words: 24,370 | Chapters: 1/1 | Warning: Explicit

Kuroo loves his job as a live-in tutor, even if the kid can be a little sharp-tongued. The position came with many side-benefits like having a great place to stay and work on his thesis so he can finally graduate. Unfortunately, the biggest perk was also his biggest problem: the kid's hot father, Sawamura Daichi. Between checking him out when he's not looking or battling him with witty banter, Kuroo finds his heart running away with him. Luckily for him, he's not the only one...

Personal Notes: I think y’all know by now I love Stacysmash’s works

All Your Diction Dripping With Disdain by mozaikmage

Relationship: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Words: 12,853 | Chapters: 2/2

"Tsukishima Kei’s 220-character Facebook bio reads: “Don’t talk to me.” There’s an invisible footnote appended to it that says “except if you’re a volleyball teammate or are working on a project with me or something”, but for everyone else it says “don’t talk to me.”

So when Kuroo Tetsurou messages him about something he commented in a Facebook group, Kei screenshots his bio, highlights that sentence, and sends it back to him."

AU in which tsukki is unreasonably popular in a specific part of Facebook and then things happen

originally titled "Everything is Tsuffering"

[brittaperry]

so it’s 2021 and I replayed tlou bc it’s totally not like there are other video games on my shelf that I haven’t finished or even started

originally this was going to be a thread on twitter but then I remembered that talking about anything tlou related over there seems like hell so I’m here instead.

this opening is still one of the best in video game history. like I’m still a mess watching Joel and Sarah fall. rip me (and also Sarah… and now Joel too, I guess).

should I make a tally every time I hear someone from CR? it’s been like ten minutes and I’ve heard 3 of them already.

why do I feel like I know more about the minor characters and their relationships with the main characters in this game than I do about the ones in TLOU2?

Joel is probably canonically stealthy because 1) survivor, and 2) limited supplies, and I like playing stealthy but I am not always good at stealthy.

Ellie pulling a knife on Joel immediately because she thinks he’s hurt Marlene? That’s how you introduce a character.

the women in this game are just so good. like not morally in some cases, but in terms of writing and development.

missing collectibles when I'm trying to collect them all and finally get the trophy makes me scream. no one look at me.

Ellie's excitement over being outside? I am EMOTIONAL.

"Why the hell are we smuggling an infected girl?" that is what they call a wham line.

it started raining here while it was raining in the game. the universe said “let’s really immerse you this time”.

sorry to all the NPCs I travel with but if I don’t search every corner of a place and grab all of the loot, I won’t be able to think about anything else for the next 6+ hours. (flashback to FO4 because yes, I do really need all of this junk, because apparently I’m the only one building the settlements).

I’m not going to talk about how much I hate that bit in the Outskirts when Joel drops down on to the floor with the 4 runners and 1 clicker, but I need you to know how much I hate that bit in the Outskirts when Joel drops down on to the floor with the 4 runners and 1 clicker.

"You got something on your shoe" Ellie is a comedy queen.

the NPCs are useless sometimes. Bill’s just casually walking around while Joel and Ellie run from the bloater.

EXCUSE ME BUT I AM VERY EMOTIONAL ABOUT JOEL AND ELLIE AND HOW MUCH THEIR FRIENDSHIP/SURROGATE FAMILIAL RELATIONSHIP HAS DEVELOPED BETWEEN BOSTON AND PITTSBURGH. YOU CAN REALLY SEE THAT THEY’RE STARTING TO ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER AND I WANT TO CRY.

I missed one of Ellie’s jokes... I’m so disappointed in myself.

I hate the hotel basement part. I hate the hotel basement part. I hate the hotel basement part. I hate the hot--

the fact that you meet and then lose Sam and Henry in the space of a few days still devastates me.

they buried Sam and Henry, and that makes me happy (even though I’m still devastated they’re gone) because they had to just leave Tess where she was, so it’s beautiful that they were able to say goodbye and that those two characters could be laid to rest.

remember when Tommy wasn't an asshole.

no, you're crying over Joel and Ellie.

JOEL TEACHING ELLIE ABOUT FOOTBALL. I JUST!!!!!

I hate when games are like "HINT" because you're taking your time and you want to explore the world they created like, chill.

when Joel falls onto the rebar and the sound gets muffled, echo-y, and goes in and out? how it gets harder to control him? how certain parts of the screen blur? how the screen starts to fade in and out as you're walking because Joel's losing consciousness? A+++ choices. who else is doing it like them?

it's interesting how the first time you play as Ellie in TLOU and the first time you play as Abby in TLOU2 it's winter.

why does Naughty Dog hate horses?

Ellie is one of the greatest video game characters. if you think otherwise, I'm sorry but you're wrong.

why did I think you had bottles and bricks you could throw at David?

AGAIN, ELLIE IS ONE OF THE GREATEST VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS.

AGAIN, JOEL AND ELLIE MEAN THE WORLD TO ME.

THE GIRAFFE. MY HEART.

WHEN JOEL PULLS ELLIE OUT OF THE WATER AND SHE'S NOT BREATHING AND THE FIREFLIES ARE JUST ASSHOLES AND KNOCK JOEL OUT. LIKE NO, I STILL HATE THE FIREFLIES. I get that it’s the apocalypse but you see a guy who’s trying to resuscitate someone who could be his daughter and you’re like “let’s knock him out”?

here's the thing, and I'll go into this more when I play part 2, the fact that they're going to kill Ellie for the cure and they don't even tell her??? Like, Ellie would say yes to it, but they don't ask and I hate them. ALSO, just because they say they can make a cure, there's no promises. AND ALSO, HOW IS IT THAT THERE'S ONLY ONE MAN WHO CAN MAKE THE CURE? okay, that's more of a complaint for the second game, but yeah, HOW IS IT THAT A GUY NAMED JERRY IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN CREATE A CURE? IN TLOU2, WE FIND OUT HE HAD AT LEAST ONE STUDENT (MEL) SO DID HE JUST NOT TELL ANYONE ELSE HOW TO CREATE A CURE BECAUSE HE WANTED TO FEEL SPECIAL? LIKE HE'S NOT THE ONLY SCIENTIST LEFT IN THE WORLD. LIKE THERE ARE TWO OTHER DOCTORS/ASSISTANTS WITH HIM IN THE SURGERY. okay, this is not TLOU related, this is TLOU2, but yeah, I'm still mad about it.

also, the whole giving NPCs names thing is in TLOU and other NPCs will say things like "this is for my friends" so unless this is an update and wasn't in the original (cbf to play on ps3) why was it such a big deal in TLOU2? like when you're in the hospital, the Fireflies call one of the NPCs Ethan.

just realised I missed ONE Firefly pendant. I hate everything.

back to what I was saying before, Marlene says "you can still do the right thing", which implies that the cure can still be made but like, she'd have to assume that Joel did kill Jerry to get to Ellie and she still says that so like, were there other people who could've made the cure?

did Joel do the right thing? no. would I have done exactly the same thing? yes.

THIS GAME IS STILL ONE OF THE BEST VIDEO GAMES/EXPERIENCES.

I didn’t take many screenshots, but here is probably the worst encounter I’ve had during this fight.

Also, that looks like the most useless bladed melee weapon. Like, Joel just made it for the aesthetic, right?

Anyway, on to Left Behind.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Julie and the Phantoms Theory

Wow so I just binged watched julie and the phantoms on netflix and this show is amazing, like really really fantastic. It is aimed at a younger audience than most of the series I watch but it really doesn’t matter, I do think this is a show that any age group can enjoy. The music in it is so so good and I’ve been listening to the songs on replay non stop. Also have two new ships I am obsessed with Juke and Willex. If you haven’t seen the show it is defo one I would recommend. However despite watching the whole season I have soo many questions that need answering and well anyone who has read any of my posts ever know how much I love to over analyse and obsess/ theorise about tv shows. The rest I am going to put under the tag because of spoilers so if you want to hear some thoeries/ analysis then read on, but I should warn you I am going to be talking about the sensitive topics of death and bereavement so only do so if you feel comfortable. 

 So one of the biggest questions I have is regarding the deaths of Alex, Luke and Reggie. Now I know that they die from eating bad street hotdogs and I know alot of the reason why they die that way is for the comedy aspect of it. I mean one of the many things this show did really well was balancing the comedy aspects with the emotional aspects. I appreciate that as the audience we are suppose to just accept this somewhat wacky death and go with it but well thats just not me and I kept wondering what exactly was wrong with the hotdogs that it actually killed them. Some things about it just don’t add up and I hate not knowing the answers so here are some theories I have, some more outlandish than others. 

Theory 1- Food Posioning (Honestly this isn’t really a theory but lets just go with it)

My first thought when I first watched it is the most obvious one which is they got food poisoning. I mean the place they got the hotdogs from didn’t look the most sanitary. However here’s the part that doesn’t add up for me and that is how quickly they died. We know from Alex’s comment to Willy in episode 8 that they were two hours away from going on stage the night they died. This means they had to have started showing symptoms within those two hours before the show which lead to the ambulance being called. In the first episode Reggie says that after they floated out of the ambulance they went to a dark room. The part that caught my attention here is the line about the ambulance as this tells us that they died in the ambulance before they ever got to the hospital. Now I don’t know how far away the hotdog place was from The Orpheum but I’m assuming it was fairly close considering how important the show was to them, I personally wouldn’t go too far from the venue if I had a big show in just a couple of hours.  According to my google search the nearest hospital to The Orpheum is Diginity Health California Hospital Medical Center. This hospital is only 5 mins away from The Orpheum, obviously I know this time would be effected by traffic amongst other factors but the point is the time between ingesting the hotdogs and them dying was relatively short. Which makes it unlikely that they died from food posioning. Whilst food poisoning can kill its very rare and usually takes a lot longer than a few hours I mean ordinarily it takes days. So the likelihood that all three of them would have been killed by food posioning that quickly is actually slim to none.

Theory 2- It was Premeditated.  

My next theory is much much darker and definitely more out there. It also depends on how dark they plan to go with Bobby/Trevor’s character. But we know that Bobby stays behind and doesn’t go for hotdog’s claiming to be a vegetarian (which was a lie), he also seems to be pretty eager for the other three to go. Now in the scene it seems like the reason for this is so he can be alone to filrt with Rose but what if Bobby had more sinister plans what if he had some hand in the boys’ deaths and had actually posioned them or arranged for them to be poisoned. Maybe he always planned to steal Luke’s songs and take all the credit, fame and money for himself. When Julie looks up Sunset Curve on her phone you can get a glimpse at the article she reads. In the article it says ‘There was a surviving band member, Bobby, but no one has been able to track him down...’ This article seems to have been written about a week after the night they died which shows that Bobby went under the radar pretty quickly after his bandmates died. Now again this could be explained away as Bobby grieving and wanting to stay out of the spotlight as he worked through that and that him stealing the songs was a more opportunistic act than him premeditating his bandmates murders. 

Another possible variant of this theory is that it was still an orchestrated death but it wasn’t Bobby who wanted the boys dead but Caleb. During that opening scene they were still alive and we know normally lifers can’t see ghosts so for all we know Caleb could have seen them perform and had decided then that he wanted them as his house band, he didn’t want to wait for them to die so he took matters into his own hands. We assume that the first time Caleb hears about the band is from Willie but there was that scene from the first episode where he bumps into Alex and to me it almost seems like he recognises the group. Also I don’t think its a coincidence that he bumps into them right outside The Orpheum. It could be that he knew they would show up as ghosts at some point and figured they would go back to The Orpheum when they did and so would sometimes patrol that area just waiting for them. It could also explain why he’s willing to let Willie skate around the streets of LA maybe he was hoping Willie would do exactly would he did and bump into one of the boys whether Willie was aware of this plan is a whole other kettle of fish I feel like most likely he wouldn’t have because I feel like he would have told them Caleb had sent him to find them when he told them about the jolts. Point is the whole thing could have been one big elaborate plan of Caleb’s to get the band for himself, his obsession with the band could have been bigger than what we were shown in the first season. 

The last variant of this theory could be a mixture of the previous two. Maybe it was an elaborate plan made by Caleb but with the help of Bobby. Maybe Bobby made a deal with the devil so to speak and in exchange for fortune and fame he gave up his bandmates. Maybe he even gave up his own soul too but he gets to live out his dream life first. We know through Willy that Caleb has made deals with lifers that are part of the Hollywood Ghost Club so it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to think he could’ve made a deal with Bobby. 

To be honest I’m not completely sold on this theory purely because the show is aimed at a younger audience and although it does cover some mature themes around death and bereavement I think murder might be a little too dark for its target audience. But then on the other hand they did have that storyline of Caleb trying to destroy the boys with those jolts so maybe I’m wrong.

Theory 3- The Car Battery. 

Ok so this theory I think is the most likely out of them all. When you think about what we know about the boys death and the timeline its that 1) They ate hot dogs that tasted bad. 2) They obviously started to show worrying symptoms that lead to somebody calling an ambulance, these symptoms showed up in under two hours. 3) They died in the ambulance before getting to the hospital (which was approx 5 mins away). Also from the sound of it they all died around the same time, as in all of them were in the ambulance it wasn’t a case of one of them died at the scene, another in the ambulance and another in the hospital. Meaning the effect time was pretty consistent, we know that they all took the first bite at the same time. So keeping all that in mind lets look at the scene again. The first thing I want to point out is that when the boys get the hot dogs they don’t show us them actually being handed the hotdogs, when we see them they already have the hotdogs and they are at the condiments adding their pickles and sauces. This in my opinion tells us that the hazard did not occur during the cooking process but at this moment when they were getting the condiments. Also we see Alex talking about how he couldn’t wait to eat someplace where the condiments weren’t in the back of a car. This scene opens by showing us said condiments and also whilst Alex is talking focusing in on the car battery. Right after his comment about the condiments Alex goes up to the seller and apologises for getting pickle juice on his battery cables once again this draws attention to the battery and its close proximity to the food. The seller just laughs it off stating that maybe it will help with the rust. This seems like a throw away comment but it could actually be a big clue into what happened to the boys. This tells us that not only is the battery near the food but its rusting and in a bad condition and if its in a poor condition it could be leaking. Ok so why is this important to how the boys died? Well because car batteries have sulfuric acid in them. I said before that the whole food poisoning thing didn’t add up for me because generally speaking when things go wrong during the cooking process such as something being undercooked or unclean, it doesn’t tend to kill you and in the rare circumstances if it does it usually takes days to weeks; but the chances of surviving food posioning are very high. However if someone were to ingest sulfuric acid even a couple of drops could be fatal. For examble if there was any sulfuric acid in the bottom of the trunk it could have gotton onto the utensils they used or onto the bottom of the sauce bottles which could then have tranferred over to the food. 

Also sulfuric acid usually kills a person within a few hours and can start having an effect on the body pretty much immediately. The mortality rate of sulfuric acid poisoning is very high the survival rate is only around 35% which would make it much more likely that not only did they all die but that the all died around the same time after exposure. The reason why it can kill so quickly is because it can effect the airways. Also the comment the seller made about the rust could have another possible explanation because whilst a leaking battery could have contaminated the food, sulfuric acid can also be found in some anti rust treatments. So if the seller was trying to treat the rust on the battery without removing the condiments from the trunk then that too could have created an opportunity for the food to become contaminated with sulfuric acid. 

So yeah this is my best guess at how the boys died, they accidently ingested sulfuric acid that had contaminated the condiments that had been stored next to a rusted car battery. It’s tragic and more tragic than that is that although it can only take a few drops obviously the less posion a person ingests the more chance they have at surviving. We know that even though the first bite tasted weird they continued to eat the hotdogs but if they had stopped after that first bite they might have actually survived. Obviously I’m not an expert on any of this so I could be totally wrong but to me this is what makes the most sense. 

Anyway what theories do you guys have? Also what questions are you hoping to get answered if we get a season 2 (we better get a season 2 or I’m gonna be real mad)? 

[greensaplinggrace]

Saw you're post about how much Ada values her own life and that's something I never really thought about before! I think the only time I thought about her feeling of her own value was the end bridge scene when Leon is holding on to her. She looked pretty open to his attempt to save her until she realizes that him trying to save her could result in him falling too. Her "It's not worth it" always sort of translated to me as "I'm not worth it", so just wondering how you interpreted that scene! 1/2

Do you think she saw more value in his life than her own in that instance? (Side note: I know a lot of the anti-Ada people would say she only wanted him to let go bc she knew she was going to live as a part of her diabolical plan, even though there were clear instances in the game that shows she obviously underestimated the severity of the mission she agreed to take on and wasn't fully prepared.) 2/2

---

Tbh I’ve never really thought about it much before recently either, so I’m definitely welcoming comments or asks with other people’s impressions here!

I think that saying she knew she would survive isn’t so far off base. Ada has her grappling hook and we’ve seen her tackle any height with unflappable confidence that she’ll come out unscathed. At the same time, she was about two decades younger in the re2 remake and much less experienced. Leon catching her was probably what saved her as well, if we’re being honest. I doubt her reflexes would have matched up to the speed of her fall or the rate of her realization after the initial surprise when the bridge starts to crumble.

And let’s not forget that Ada looks honestly afraid here. 

Like, legitimately afraid. 

There are two instances where she looks down and her expression is blocked from Leon where she shows fear. If she were manipulating him, that fear wouldn’t be there when she’s looking away from him and doesn’t need to put on her act. There are (I think, I’ll have to replay this part - and also get better screenshots because all I have right now are the ones that didn’t get fuckng eaten when I reinstalled steam) a few scenes where she is showing fear when looking at Leon. These can be read differently, but I’m of the opinion that at least her last words were sincere. Once I get better screenshots I’ll try to show what I mean, but there’s an instance where she looks up at him after looking down that the fear there is at it’s most honest when facing him. That’s right before her expression shifts into the calm at peace “it’s not worth it” phase, and she tells him to take care of himself. 

Her “it’s not worth it” translated to “i’m not worth it” for me as well! I’m curious how many people read that into the scene. Based on what we see of Ada, it isn’t much a reach to interpret that subtext. Especially considering her next words.

And she does have a moment of realization (probably around the same time Leon does lol). So her evaluating her life’s importance versus Leon’s isn’t so far off the mark. Anybody would have to. After all, it’s either one person or two people dying at this point. Any person with even 1% of human decency would choose the obvious option, and we already know Ada possesses at least that much.

I think her value of her own life in this situation versus her value of Leon’s is hard to determine, because Ada’s options here are limited. We already know she’s a good person, if a horribly morally grey one. What could she do, if not ask him to save himself? I’m thinking, ideally, she would let Leon know she has a chance of survival. But Ada’s also an opportunist. This gives her a chance for a fresh start from this absolutely abysmal job fuck up. It also gives Leon the motivation he would need to leave and survive. Believing Ada dead would save him.

She doesn’t want Leon to die, that’s clear. I’m thinking that she doesn’t want Leon to die for her, especially. Which, I think, is where she’s currently at mentally in this scene.

Tbh knowing that antis use her knowledge of her own survival as an excuse to misinterpret and devalue the entire scene is pretty frustrating. Because Ada is afraid in this scene. That fear is definitely not faked. Leon has saved her life again, and her wish for him to survive is sincere. She does value his life here, and more than that she seems to also value his mental health what will happen to him in the future. None of this is faked. And I’m sorry but anybody who actually respects her character can generally tell when she’s lying. Like maybe the characters in the game aren’t supposed to know but it’s pretty clear as day to me when I watch her scenes in any game or movie lmao.

Also this is slightly off topic but I constantly think about how much of a rookie Ada herself was in the re2remake. She didn’t have half the experience she has now, which makes her falling for Leon all the more realistic in terms of her story. Because Leon isn’t just the “somehow changes an experienced and dangerous woman’s entire sense of self” stereotype that usually comes with most depictions of such a relationship. He meets her when she’s young, too. He gets under her skin early. And he stays there for years, cementing their bond with every new meeting. Ada’s feelings for him are genuine and probably incredibly unwanted lmao. I think that she often values his life more than her own and hates that she does, because she knows it’s a dog eat dog world but her feelings won’t let her be as cold as she should be.

So anyways, sorry this response probably wasn’t the best it could have been. Her value of her own life was something I only considered recently as well, and I encourage people to participate a bit more in this discussion! I’d welcome some more opinions or impressions on it to help me work through it.

[twelverose]

i once believed love would be black and white, but it’s golden.

One year together measured in the memories lit by golden haze.

Rating: Teen (Implied sexual content)

Paring: Tentoo/Rose Tyler

WC: 6k

Tw: panic/anxiety attacks & drinking/smoking

A/N: a light plot. more of a character study than anything. but like, it was fun to write so. (angst & fluff)

Song: Daylight by Taylor Swift

Read on Ao3

Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down Maybe I've stormed out of every single room in this town Threw out our cloaks and our daggers because it's morning now It's brighter now, now

__________________________________________________

“He needs you. That’s very me.” echoed through her mind as she watched him sleep.

They were driving back to the zeppelin. Pete driving with her mum in the front seat. They were trying to give them as much privacy as possible. Not that it mattered. The moment they made it to the main roadway, he fell asleep.

He fell asleep holding her hand. Like he was holding onto his promise.

When Jackie realized he was asleep, she went on about Tony. Which morphed into why Pete needed to finish some project that had been sitting in the garden for a month now. Rose pointed out why it had been abandoned. Her mum gave her no mind. Explaining you need to finish what you start. Rose scoffed. Quiet enough to avoid a scolding from her mother.

It took about an hour to get there.

Once they woke up the Doctor- which took a lot more effort than it used to- and made it onto the airship, Rose found herself exhausted. The last 72 hours catching up to her.

72 hours of fixing timelines and finding her universe and saving all of them. An emotional roller-coaster stuffed in for good fun. She wasn’t sure how she felt right now. Everything was foggy- including her vision.

She made her way to her usual seat. The Doctor not trailing far behind. They were pressed together in the seat. Not that they had to be, but it was a subconscious thing. Something they did before everything could give her butterflies all over again.

They listened to Pete’s call to Torchwood. Well, he did more than Rose. The drone of his voice forced her eyes shut. She started to drift off, resting her head on the Doctor’s shoulder.

She was half asleep when he asked, “It’s gonna be us?” in a low voice.

She reached for his new, new, new, hand, “Yeah.”

&&

They were lucky. Lucky to have each other. Rose reminded herself that everyday. But falling into things- things they never did before- was beginning to look more difficult than they thought.

Days full of new aliens and old tropes. Meetings that sounded exciting in theory but when given context, Rose couldn’t process correctly. The Doctor trying to fit into the routine of work and home. Old jealous feelings and new conflicting ones falling out of each other’s mouths. Learning to communicate truthfully.

But they made it work. Just like they always have and always will. Although time decided it would move slow.

It was a hell of a day repairing a fleet of fly-sized spaceships and giving the captains directions to Bangladesh. That’s what the Doctor did. Rose was granted the honour of detailing her most recent experience with the “Original Doctor” and how they saved universes.

There was a heavy dread in the back of her mind. Thinking of all the versions of the people she knew that she failed to save. She never got used to detailing what happened when she jumped. But the dread had become something new now. It was thinking of the day they drag the Doctor into an interview room and drill him on how he’s different. She already was holding a grudge against the stoic people she knew would question him.

She didn’t like them in the first place.

Rose came home late. Annoyed and brain dead by the ten hours of redundant questions. Why had they waited two weeks to ask? She didn’t know. But the thought only annoyed her a little bit more. The Doctor was lying on the couch, watching some documentary. Probably about the universe. She couldn’t really focus on anything either way.

“Rose!” His head popped up when the front door closed. Hair adorably mussed and a bright smile on his face.

She gave him a small smile, “Hey.”

He looked like he was about to ask her questions about her day. But bit his tongue when she gave him a pointed look, “Tired?”

She nodded and fell onto the couch next to him. She didn’t want to explain. She could probably ask Pete for the tapes or documents if he was so desperate for an explanation. But he looked at her with those puppy dog eyes and she caved. Giving him a brief explanation of what she had to say and why it was stupid. It wasn’t much but it was what she had to offer.

“I was stuck on Earth working for U.N.I.T. for five years. Reminded me that I wasn’t a desk jockey or meant to live a linear timeline.” He said matter-of-factly.

Rose snorted, “You’re stuck with both for the time being.”

“Not so bad when I’ve got you.”

The words echoed memories she still considered precious. They happened more often now. Soft moments laced in a golden haze replaying in her mind. They changed her moods completely.

This time, she couldn’t help but lean up and kiss him. Something they were trying to find the natural for. He still let himself go lovesick. Like now, as Rose pulled back with a tongue in tooth grin at his small sound.

He wasn’t entirely ruffled. But definitely dopey eyed when he mumbled, “I love it when you grin like that.”

She hopped up to grab her phone, much to his dismay. And people thought they were attached before.

“Rose, wh-”

“I need to call mum. And order a pizza. You can look for a movie in the meantime.”

“That’ll be at least an hour! What am I supposed to do after I find the movie?”

Rose raised her eyebrows, “Last time it took you almost two hours because ‘Films aren’t the same here!’”

The Doctor opened his mouth to defend himself but couldn’t quite find a good defense. She was happy that he didn’t. Because she was right. he found a movie right before the pizza showed up. It was some sci-fi fantasy that didn’t really interest Rose but she doubted she’d stay up until he found another one.

For a man who was so used to letting things happen, he was picky over the media he consumed.

It was a pretty movie, she would give it that. The colors and framing were nice. But nothing else really appealed to her. After eating and curling into his side, she found herself drifting to sleep. Only opening her eyes when the light was bright enough to wake her up. Or when the Doctor moved because his arm was falling asleep or the dialogue pulled him into the story.

Part of her wished she wasn’t so tired. She loved watching him react to new things. Now they lived in a universe of brand new. It normally included having to hear him complain that she should at least try and enjoy the story. He didn’t protest too much. Just enough to remind her that you could find good in every story. So in return, she’d read a book.

Reading gave her a better advantage of watching him. His eyebrows and lips would twitch, as if he was replying. Or maybe criticizing the character’s choices. His fingers would twiddle and feet would tap. It was almost childish, how much he immersed himself.

She loved it. But she was also happy with where she was- option number two. It was also twice as comfortable.

Before she knew it, she was being lifted off the couch. Rose could feel him strain slightly as he carried her. She tried to hide her smile but couldn’t help but let a small one ghost her face. He tapped the bedroom door open with his foot. Moving as gently and quietly as possible, as if she wasn’t a deep sleeper. He knew that well.

Maybe he didn’t know when she was pretending. It made something catch in her throat. All the times she would pretend to be asleep- most of the time because she was already halfway there- just to spend time close to him. Did he never really know?

When he tucked her into bed she realized that he had yet to spend a night in the bedroom. Sure, he needed a little less sleep than the average human- because he wasn’t average. They shared a bed several times before, but he never stayed with her now. Granted, her bedroom wasn’t an alien jail cell or an archaic guest room.

It was an intimacy they never had without barriers and boundaries. Before, they were too aware of what time and space can do. Well he was. When he kissed her forehead, Rose realized it was something they could throw into the wind.

She grabbed his arm before he moved away, “Stay.”

&&

There was a company party at Torchwood. The Doctor had been around long enough- two months and three days- for people to know who he was. Which meant he and Rose ended up staying for an afterparty. And then found a few.

In theory, it was Jake’s fault. He was the one who wanted to test the Doctor’s limits. They were greater than Rose expected. And unlike previous times, he wasn’t afraid to let it show. They ran around the streets of London. Jake showing them holes in the wall, where to get anything and everything. He broke up around 1 in the morning. Leaving them to laugh when one of them stumbled and hide from her father’s paparazzi in dark alleys. It didn’t do much but make them look worse in the morning.

They didn’t care. Too busy having a good time. There’s no doubt in that. They danced and flirted and had way more than one too many. Stumbled home and…

Rose woke up to a pounding headache. Maybe she was getting too old to have that type of fun. But the moment she had the thought, she decided the hangover was worth the fun. Even if the bed was empty when she woke up.

She got out of bed with a groan and grabbed the first shirt within arms’ reach. Which happened to be the Doctor’s button down from the night before. She brushed her teeth and took a few painkillers before walking out into the living room.

The stereo system was playing music that Rose wasn’t familiar with. But she heard him humming along.

She stopped and smiled as she caught sight of him. Clad only in a pair of briefs, the Doctor was swaying side to side as he chopped something. He was light. Not the tense and straight-backed man who needed to prove he was still worth his title. Hair beautifully messy, a blush spreading over the freckles of his back, and remnants of them from the night before.

He was beautiful. Especially when he let the weight off his shoulders.

She couldn’t help wrapping her arms around him when he was within reach. Pressing a kiss against his spine as he chuckled. Appreciating the heat his body left against her cheek.

“Good morning.” The vibration of his voice made her feel light as well.

She hummed in response. Appreciating the feeling of it all.

“I figured I could make us some breakfast.” He said, his voice slightly hoarse.

“Have you made any tea yet?”

“No.” A tinge of pink gathered on his cheeks, “I waited because it’s better when you make it.”

She let go with an exaggerated sigh and a smack of his bum. Smirking to herself at his quip, which was exactly as she always thought. She made their tea in their respective mugs. Her’s was one her mum painted with Tony, his was the one Tony made for him as a surprise. It was lumpy and chipped and colorful. Rose knew it was the few things that would expand into the sentimental collection he’d grow. It would probably remain one of his favorites.

She sat on the counter next to where he was making their omelettes once the tea was ready. She watched his focus intense when he went to flip them. Tongue daring to peek out the side of his mouth.

“Since when did you learn to cook?” She asked suddenly.

He placed his omelette on a plate before giving an explanation.”

“Oh, er,” His hand went to rub the back of his head, “When you have meetings or something during lunch, Jake has been showing me some stuff. He gets a kick out of it. Finally found something he’s better at than me.”

Rose laughed, “You found yourself a drinking buddy!”

“Oi!” He scowled, she noticed how he barely kept his finger from pointing, “I have not become that domestic, Rose Tyler!”

She couldn’t keep but laughing even more. The image of a Doctor disheveled and only in his pants, making breakfast and trying to defend that he still had an edge. The only thing that could make it any better was a “Kiss the Cook” apron.

Rose made note to get him one for the next holiday.

“Rose!” He whined, “Please, will you let off it?”

She found herself saying, “Make me.”

The Doctor wasn’t having any of that taken lightly, he took the two steps to invade her personal space with zero hesitation. The next laugh got caught in her chest. The smile remained though.

He smirked when the only sounds were their breathing and the music.

“Didn’t have to do much to do that.”

“You wish.” She mumbled, trying not to show how much she wanted him to kiss her.

“You’re wearing my shirt.” It came from deep in his chest.

He kept close to her. Close enough to where she could feel his breath against her lips. She was seconds from giving in. Letting him win until-

“Food’s getting cold!” He made a dramatic spin to grab their plate.

Rose kept in the groan. Feeding his ego was the last thing she wanted to do in the moment.

Which was fruitless. Because he still had sharper hearing. Thus, he easily made out the “Tease.” she let out underneath a loud sigh.

“You can wait, we’ve got the rest of our lives.”

She followed him to the table, “You wouldn’t say the same if I did it to you.”

He set the plates down and turned to face her, an offended look on his face.

“As if.”

She smiled, “As if you haven’t thought the same way.”

“Like…?” He did a poor job of hiding the way he looked at her.

“Well, we could stay inside all day. Just the two of us.” She took a step closer.

“I thought that was already planned.”

She ignored him. Standing on her toes and whispering, “Or the rest of the weekend.” before pulling him into a kiss. Only to push him away when it became a little more than chaste.

“Minx.”

&&

The day she had been dreading came two weeks later. Rose’s ears had been ringing ever since she went by the Doctor’s lab to see if he was ready to go. Only to find a few of his coworkers and to hear that he got taken up for an interview. Jake said he didn’t see him during their breaks.

She called her mum everyday. It was habitual. But today it seemed like Jackie knew what was happening. Maybe Pete told her. Rose didn’t really care. She might later.

Why didn’t they deserve a heads up?

Jackie tried her best to soothe Rose. She could hear her daughter pacing the flat, rummaging through things. Half-heartedly listening to Jackie’s story about Tony and dinner. She was halfway out the door when Rose said,

“He’s home. Talk to you later.”

And he was a mess. Hair messy but not in the way Rose liked. Shirt untucked and blazer unbuttoned. His jaw set. He looked angry. The type of anger that would hide behind his eyes. That made deep brown shine gold if you knew him. She wondered if this was going to be a different anger than before. She heard stories of Donna Noble’s emotional and passionate rants and rages. She saw Donna close to falling apart when she sent her back to fix the timeline.

He looked a lot like both right now. A mix of a wildfire and a downpour.

“Doctor?”

He looked afraid.

“Hey, c’mere.”

His fist clenched.

“Talk to me.”

She reached for his hand and led him to the sofa.

She couldn’t read him. All tempestuous thoughts couldn’t translate the way she was used to. He saw that. So instead he tried to put on the facade of someone who has it together. One that only told her it was worse. Something terrible tugged at something deep within him.

“I didn’t think it’d be that bad.” He cleared his voice, “It actually didn’t bother me until I got home.”

It was exactly what she expected. Everything that made her heart hurt for him.

“It does that, doesn’t it?” She wasn’t sure what to say.

Her mum had always been better at this. She always knew how to get through, to tell people it was okay to say what they needed. Rose was better at feeling the same as them without the words. But she sat in front of a silent rambling man.

“Yeah. It’s a blow to the chest.”

She reached for his hand, interlocking their pinky fingers. There was a static shock when she did. And that seemed to be the tipping point. The shock that told him to let go.

“I need you now.” His voice broke at his attempt to hold back tears, “I don’t know. Before I could go on. I could keep going. But it’s different, isn’t it?”

Rose nodded. Still unsure of what to say, how to help. She understood. Understood so clearly she wondered if he had tapped into her mind.

“Do you think they realize what they say?”

“Yeah.” Rose looked down, “They’ve done it to me and mum several times. Well, mostly me.”

“How did you deal with it?” His eyes were wide. He looked lost trying to navigate what he was feeling.

“I knew I had to get back to you.” It came out simple. Like it was clear. Like she never spent days in bed after these interrogations sometimes.

He shook his head, “I’m not the me that you were trying to get back to. They know that. You know that.”

“I know you’re the same man. One less heart and hair that’s got a streak he always wanted.”

“Now I’ve got a last name and pay rent. Not exactly the man you met.”

“It’s been eight years since we met, for me. We change. I don’t mind, Doctor.”

He grabbed her hand, not taking his eyes off of it, “Some people do.”

“To hell with them. We’re going to live lives they can only dream of.”

A silence settled over them. Rose heard her phone vibrating in the kitchen, but didn’t care. She watched as his eyes traced her face. Curious and willing. Unsure and timid.

“I’m not sure what else is going to happen. I don’t really care,” He took a shaky breath, “All I know is that it’s you.”

&&

Her mum and Pete asked for them to look after Tony for an evening. There was some publicity event or whatever. Jackie couldn’t remember what exactly. Rose never minded. Her little brother was easier to take care of than most would think. Raised just as she was plus a little more expense. He deserved it. The miracle child who kept her company at her worst times. He knows it too.

He also adored the Doctor. For one, he looked super cool and was super cool because he saved the universe and worlds with his sister. Two, Tony could ask him any question and he’d have the answer, the Doctor never dulled it down either. He just would answer the questions that followed. Tony’s favorite thing though, was that they could get into messes and out of them without too much consequence. Rose was sure that if he knew the words, he’d already be calling him a brother-in-law.

As much as they were two peas in a pod, it took an hour of debate between the boys for them to figure out what they were going to do. In the midst of the Doctor arguing the pros of his idea, Rose announced that they would be going to the park.

After a walk around, they settled on a hill. The Doctor laid out his trenchcoat for him and Rose to rest on. Tony left for a few minutes before coming back with a handful of flowers. Handing them to Rose and asking her to make him a crown. Before taking off to find more, so they could all have one.

“Since when could you do that?” The Doctor asked, pulling out a prototype of his sonic.

Rose shrugged, “I taught myself when I’d babysit my little cousins. Muscle memory at this point.”

“You’ve never mentioned it.”

Rose looked up from the braided weeds with a smile and raised eyebrow, “‘Cause you’re not a six year old who needs to be kept busy. At least, most of the time.”

“I’m six months and fourteen days.” He puffed his chest.

Rose rolled her eyes, “Always have to bring yourself into it, don’t ya?”

Before he had the chance to reply, Tony came running up with another boy in tow. Quickly dropping a few handfuls of flowers at Rose’s knees before steering toward the Doctor. People who appeared to be parents a few yards behind. Rose waved, making sure it was alright as the boys focused on the Doctor.

“This is Dr. Noble! He’s my sister’s boyfriend.”

Rose chuckled at Tony’s explanation of him. But the boy held out his hand to shake in a grand gesture. The Doctor took it with the same enthusiasm.

“And what’s your name?”

“Jackson. I’m Tony’s second best friend.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, “Well who’s the first?”

Tony looked shocked, “You are, Silly!”

“Of course I am, Tony.”

Something overtook the playful gleam in his eyes, something softer and touched. Rose noticed that there may have been a tear in his eye. She smiled at the ground, glancing up every so often.

Tony started asking the Doctor to tell his favorite story. The one about what happened at Krop Tor. She listened as closely as the boys, he had never let her hear it in entirety before. Most of it was as it happened, granted, not as grave. There was something he didn’t know, which wasn’t normal. And they got trapped when they went to figure it out. So it goes.

But he changed his tone at the end of it. Lowering his voice when he asked, “Do you want to know the best part?”

To which the boys nodded eagerly.

“Well, I wouldn’t be here to tell you this if it weren’t for someone.” He nodded his head at Rose, “I was just fighting the body. Which is scary but nothing compared to the soul of the Devil.”

“C’mon!!” Tony bounced on his knees.

“She was the one who made the final move. Ready to sacrifice herself and who she loved for the better of the universe,” He started to whisper, “I knew that she was the best. But this is when she became the very best.”

He explained how she shot the window of the rocket. Dramatizing it to make her sound more impressive. Throwing his hands around while talking about the Tardis. Dedicated to giving the happiest ending for the boys.

He did it with a breeze, leaving them whooping and cheering.

They were once again antsy to run around and burn off energy. Rose handed them both a crown, trying to keep Tony’s attention.

“When do you have to be back here, Anthony?”

He scowled at the use of his full name, “Before the sky turns all dark blue.”

“You’re good to go.” Rose laughed.

Tony pulled his friend away. They only managed to get just out of ear’s reach before Jackson came bounding back up.

The Doctor looked up from where he was fiddling with his sonic, “Yes sir?”

“What’s your first name?”

“Doctor,” He grinned mischievously.

“Your last?”

“Noble.” He said it with pride.

Jackson gave him a questioning look but shrugged and ran back to Tony, who was poking at something with a stick.

Rose left the rest of the flowers on the ground and turned her attention to the sunset. Listening to everything going on around them. The phantom breeze in the trees. All the kids calling for each other. Passing conversations.

“What about when we get married?”

It came out of nowhere. She tried not to let her surprise show, “What about it?”

“Our last names.” He looked at her, the wind in his hair reminded her of their time on New Earth, “I quite like Noble and I don’t think you should give up Tyler.”

“What if I want to?” She raised her eyebrows at him.

“Well, I mean-”

“I’m joking, Doctor,” She looked at him, lost in thought, “We could hyphenate them.”

He shook his head in thought, “Hm, but who would go first?”

She shrugged, returning her focus to the sky. Listening as he rolled “Noble-Tyler” and “Tyler-Noble” off his tongue while it turned a brighter and brighter pink.

She swatted at him with the back of her hand when Tony ran back to them. Trying to avoid any conversations that aren't necessary. He asked the Doctor to come play with him because Jackson had to leave. Before he started to drag him away, the Doctor managed to give Rose a peck on the cheek. The six year old was too impatient. Leaving him to yell “I love you!” at her.

Her eye roll was followed with her own shout, “I love you too!”

&&

The Doctor was wearing a tuxedo similar to the one he wore the first time they were here. This time it wasn’t to gain information but to give it. He was to give a lecture on something he figured out in the eight months he’d been here. He argued that it wasn’t that important. That he didn’t need to do it. Pete reminded him that the other scientists working on it eight spent years. Not months.

The Doctor and Donna’s personality had always been intertwined in him. Rose knew it. She first noticed because he was quick to reply to her mum’s quips and actually started to enjoy spending time with her.

He said it was because he’s half the alien he used to be. But both Rose and Jackie beg to differ.

But this was the first time she’s seen the personality merge work against him. He couldn’t just brush off the idea of speaking in front of people who are there to question him. Speculate how he did it. Insecurities bubbled to the surface and crawled into his nerves.

Rose found out through Jake, who had to pull her from talking to people before the seminar. She wasn’t the one resisting. She was tired of questions about this “mystery man” who was “quick to put a ring on her finger.”

Although, the reactions to the fact that she was the one who got down on one knee humored her. But led her to explaining that he got her ring later.

“He’s been pacin’ the room like an animal that hasn’t got enough enrichment.” Jake said while walking Rose to where the Doctor was, “I couldn’t get through to him but we all know you can.”

She entered the room to a speaker being in pieces across the floor. The Doctor sitting in the middle of all the pieces, trying to rig something together. She wasn’t sure if it was supposed to be a DADA sculpture or a new invention. Either way, his new anxieties were making him manic.

“Doctor?”

His head snapped up and he gave her a tense grin, “Rose! I was just thinking of you.”

“I don’t think you stop doing that.”

He shrugged and started sweeping all the pieces into a small pile in front of him.

“Doctor,” Rose said it softer than before, “What’s going on?”

“I’m about to talk to a room full of people and I can’t suppress hormones like I used to be able to.”

He said it with a straight face. Leaving Rose to hold her breath to keep from causing him anymore anxiety. She wasn’t sure if her urge to laugh was caused by the point-blank approach of explanation or the fact that he was clearly lying. She didn’t think on it too much. She tried to think about what her mum said and did all the times she was at a breaking point.

The first thing she noticed was how disheveled he was. Only half dressed, though he’d never admit it. Then it clicked.

“Presentation is the most important thing. That’s what I’ve learned from Pete. So let's tidy you back up.” She held her hand out to lift him back up.

She talked about everything except what his mind was so desperate to be focused on. Coaxing the dopey smile and puppy-dog eyes out of him. In the end, it was more flirting than discussing. But it worked the way she needed to either way.

Rose couldn’t help but notice how he focused on her hands when she buttoned his shirt.

“I’ll unbutton them later if you don’t have a heart attack on stage.” She said with his favorite grin.

She couldn’t help but let it slip. And the mischievous look she got in return was worth it. Now that he was dressed, it was time to move onto his hair. Which would only take so long due to the fact he was overprotective and particular with it. This was where she planned to dig back in.

He gave her a sheepish smile as he sat down in front of the mirror, watching her hands start to tease his hair.

“What had you so worked up earlier?” She asked, watching his eyes dart from her to anywhere else in the mirror.

“I started thinking too much. Or- I focused on one thing and wouldn’t think of anything else.” He looked like a schoolboy. Embarrassed to feel things.

Rose thinks this is the most human moment he’s had yet. His superior biology not quite what it used to be.

“What was it?”

“Well, uh,” She swatted the hand that went for the back of his head as he spoke, “I didn’t want to disappoint Pete. or Jackie. Or you.”

His eyes met with hers in the mirror and she gave him a sweet smile, “My mum and I don’t care. You know that. Pete? He’s got PR on standby if necessary.”

“I know,” The Doctor shrugged, “But you’re the ones who let me get here.”

Jake knocked on the door, “He’s got five minutes!”

His spine went rigid again. Rose ran her hand over it in response. She pressed a kiss to the back of his neck, where no one would notice if a lipstick stain was left.

“Just talk to ‘em like you’d talk to Tony, yeah? Go on your big monologue and worry about what’s going on in their heads later.”

When he stood up she fixed the lock of red in his hair to flow with the rest.

“I love you. You know that?”

“Absolutely.” She straightened his bowtie one last time, “You know, you have nothing to prove to me.”

&&

Rose blew air out like a cigarette, watching a cloud too hazy and heavy form. Those days were long gone. She realized they had gone before she met the Doctor. A long memory now, where she lived in a parallel universe with a new half-human, half-timelord Doctor. She didn’t mind, though. That’s life isn’t it?

It was this line of thought that led her into sleepless nights. Comparing lives. Wondering how her old Doctor was doing. Wondering if her Doctor was really, truly, happy. If they’d ever get back the life that they belong in. All this what-ifs and open-ended question that she’d never get an answer for until the moment came. They ran rampant through her head. Like a skipping record.

Sometimes it was tempting to pick up old habits when she got like this. She knew why she didn’t when the door behind her slid open, revealing a shirtless, groggy Doctor.

“Rose, it’s 3 am.”

“I know,” She turned to face him completely, “I couldn’t sleep.”

He hummed in understanding and sat next to her. Looking up at the sky full of stars he’s yet to map. It made a sharp pang go through her chest. To see him like this. So bare in a universe he was ready to make a mark on. Then Rose noticed the goosebumps rise on his arms with a gust of wind. He’s yet to admit that he’s been cold. Even when it’s written all over his face and hands.

She also noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed. As if he was counting each and every star.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?”

She shrugged, “Thinking ‘bout what you said.”

“We’re at the halfway mark. Now is time for her to grow on her own.”

Rose thought back to the shed on Pete’s estate that they spent every free day they had at for the past month. Which meant one of them pulled the other out of bed. Because they had their very own Tardis growing inside, waiting to learn of new skys.

“But will we make it that long?” She felt the fear bubble over into tears, “It scares me. To not know when. Which is ridiculous but I’ve waited so long and I know you’re just as restless.”

He sat there for a second, gathering the right words.

“Rose, you did the impossible once. All on your own. Yeah, you had Jackie and Clive and Pete, but-”

“Now I have you.”

The words hung heavy in the air. Like it was some confession. Admitting something she always wished for had come true. But it wasn’t made up of the dreams she once had. It was messy and real but even worth more than what once was the only thing that let her sleep at night.

“I told you a year ago, it’s gonna be us. I could care less about what else there is.”

Maybe that was the catharsis. The unholy amounts of emotion came pouring out of her. She fell into his arms as she broke into tears.

She had no clue where it came from. Maybe it was stress from work. The clutter starting to build in their tiny flat. Or knowing they were so close. Her heart begging to be reminded of what showed her love in the first place.

“Rose, you golden girl. You did it. You got back to me- or well, I came back with you. Besides the point. You’ve done it once. What’s a second time with the impossible holding your hand?”

He rocked her slightly as she started to calm down. Brushing her hair out of her face and wiping her tears. Pressing kisses against her forehead. Mumbling things she normally didn’t hear.

He pulled her back with a wide grin, “Hey, we still have to get married before leaving. I don’t want another slap from your mother.”

“I think we should do it Vegas style.” it came out as a snotty laugh. And in the back of her mind she wondered if he ever saw her like this before now.

“I don’t care as long as it’s you.” He smiled, “You said it a while ago, ‘Better with two.’”

She giggled, rubbing her eyes one last time, “The stuff of legends, us.”

“Especially in a few months' time.” He said, looking back up at the sky.

“We’re gonna be alright,” Rose pulled him into a tight embrace, “We’re okay.”

[costeausunset]

What I played this month: October 2020, Part 2/2

Part 1

GIF by me (except for The Evil Within 2, I was to lazy...)

They bleed pixels, 2012, developed and published by Spooky Squid Games Inc, ~10 euros:

A young girl picks up a haunted book, becomes purple while swords replace her hands and she is now on a quest to kill the force of evil… I mean that's one of the best resumes I've seen for some time. The game is a hack and slash and platformer. As per the resume, the ambiance is really special, with the aesthetic and music. However this game isn’t for everyone, it’s definitely for more experienced players and even then you might still have issues finishing the game. The original difficulty of the game would be the equivalent of a difficult to very difficult scale. From what I saw this causes a lot of trouble for some players and the dev added an easy level, which is, for me, way too easy. So here I was stuck between almost no challenge, or stuck with levels that sometimes almost made me gauge my eyes out. For me, the main problem of the game is the platform part. You control a character that goes very fast, through levels that require precision and carefulness. You have three lives, but let’s be honest, you either die by falling in a pit, in which case, the three lives don’t matters, or you get hit by an enemy, which throws the character off in a nearby saw, which throw her right back at the ennemy, who hit her again, and bam your dead.  

I honestly didn’t have the patience to finish the game. I honestly recommend you watch a playthrough or try a demo of the game before buying it.  

Detention, 2017, developed and published by RedCandleGames, ~12 euros:

This game was a nice surprise! I bought it because I liked the artstyle, and I noped out of it back when I first started it because I didn’t realize it was a horror game. But just for this month, I started again, and I’m really happy I did! The story takes place in Taiwan during the white period. You control two students, Wei and Rin who are stuck, alone, in their high school during a storm, but not everything is as it seems. Soon enough Rin will wake up and find Wei dead, and in the middle of a dilapidated school occupied by evil spirits. The game is a point and click, you go forward solving puzzles. The puzzles are well organized, as is the level design, you will never find yourself lost for 20 minutes wondering where you need to go. The story is very interesting, but it takes some time to understand where the game is taking you. I would say you start to understand what happened half-way through (the game is 3 hours long). I would also recommend replaying the game or watching a playthrough after you finished it to really get the full extent of it. The horror in the game falls on the presence of the evil spirits and the fact that you don’t know what is happening, but once you start to understand, the horror feeling kind of disappears from the game, around the last hour, but I think this was wanted by the developers. What I really like about this game is that it shows you the real horrors of life are the ones that happen around us and who are perpetrated by other humans, and not the ones created by a common imaginary. I really recommend this game, but I think you should read a bit on the historical context before (you can find the info on the wikipedia page of the game!)

Speed dating for ghosts, 2018, developed and published by Copychaser Games, ~6 euros: 

It’s a dating sim but with ghosts! I really enjoyed this game, you essentially speed date ghosts. Each of them has a really different story, a different way that they react to their death, and their new life as ghosts. Some stories are funny or hopeful, others are heart wrenching. There is also a dog ghost that you can pet! Which is one of the best arguments in favor of you playing this game! There is nothing to say more about it, just go and play it!

Sagebrush, 2018, developed and published by Redact Games, ~6 euros:

It’s a short point and click game. The game takes place in an abandoned small village who harbored a cult. You will be able to visit the common areas, the church, the cult leader home… in order to discover what happened in this place, how these people got enrolled in the cult and how they all died, how was their day to day life,.... The gameplay is really simple, it’s just a point and click, the puzzles are also really simple. But it doesn’t really matter as I feel like the main subject of the game is first and foremost the story, explaining how a cult works, how it indoctrinates people and how it can lead them to do things most people would never do while in their right mind. For me the game addressed the subject well, going right to the point and showing how a cult can slowly but surely, go into more and more extremist views, without necessarily condemning the members of said cult. If you are interested in things related to cults or you want to learn about it, you should play this game!

The Evil Within 2, developed by Tango Gameworks and published by Bethesda, 2018, ~30 euros:

It’s a psychological horror game. You play the detective Sebastian Castellanos who’s thrown into a programmed town to retrieve his daughter. This town has been programmed as a sort of parallel dimension that can be inhabited by humans via linked consciousness. However, the town collapsed, and when you arrive most of the inhabitants have been turned into zombies. 

So for starters, I like how the game induces horror, with the music, sound design, the position of the character who’s hiding a good part of the screen, the fact that he is slow even when running… The level design is simple but it works even if I’m not convinced by the use of an open world in a horror game. The level up of the character and the weapons is intuitive but a bit bland. You have several weapons available, but the game limits your ammunition. They are all common except the crossbow! Ah, the crossbow! I love this weapon! You have different kinds of bolts with different effects: lighting, smoke, bomb… The design of the enemies is, in my opinion, fairly usual for a zombie horror game but effective.

However, the story and characters are a bit bland in my opinion. The pitch of the story, of both The Evil Within games, is very interesting in my opinion, but I think it was better explored in the first game. The rest of the story is really not that interesting, it consists of go-to point A to point B. The only character I found interesting was Stefano (but honestly it’s probably because I’m a bit weird and I can relate to the idea of doing anything for your art, even killing… Even if I would never do that…) the other characters feel very caricatural, they have a two-line background that doesn’t even need to be there, and they are only there to help Sebastian advance the story, none of them have other goals or interests which ended up in one-dimensional characters without any flavor. Even the relationship between Sebastian and his family feels very empty.  

I would only recommend this game if you are interested in a good horror game and not in a good story.

[severalspoons]

Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 15

Warning: I’m having more and more difficulty figuring out what counts as a spoiler, much less avoiding them, so I recommend if you’ve just discovered this liveblog series you go back to Episode 1. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Also, it’s been a while since I’ve read the manga, so I’m not always sure whether I’m spoiling the anime or manga sometimes. Sorry.

-- Milly’s being such a brat. Actually, both girls are right now. You’re being carried on a litter like the queen of an ancient empire and you’re gonna complain about the pace? ::rolls eyes::

-- Look at Midvalley the saxophone player. He is such a bard. The kind who knows he’s gorgeous and tries to sleep with everyone, up to and including the dragon.

-- That’s a big cheesecake, Legato. You gonna eat the whole thing right here?

Legato has gone from eating a hot dog to eating something soft and sweet, which IIRC becomes his pattern from now on. No theories about Legato’s eating pattern, just interested.

-- Legato was named for his voice, wasn’t he?

-- I want to come off as chill as Legato...

It’s especially impressive how unflappable he’s acting right now given his (manga) backstory.

-- Sometimes the best way to annoy people is to completely ignore them.

-- “It’s not wise to be hasty.” He seems similar to Vash and different than Wolfwood in that way.

-- I’m kind of surprised the Roderick gang didn’t all try to jump Legato at once. They think of themselves like “brothers,” so they probably could’ve been coordinated enough. They’d have no way to know he could mind-control so many people at once. (When you consider that he has to concentrate a little bit to control each person, you can see how vast and well-controlled Legato’s attention must be).

-- That little Midvalley smile before he goes back to playing.

-- “At least now you know how much pain there is in living.” He’s the prophet of suffering.  

Legato is not the usual sort of person consumed by pain who loves to do unto others what was done to him. I’ve met people like this, who have a burning sense of resentment that they were treated unfairly. Even if their voice is cold, they’re clearly driven by anger. This sort of person makes sense. Hell, I could even imagine becoming like that. 

Legato, on the other hand, makes people suffer in an almost emotionless, casual way. As far as he’s concerned, there’s nothing unfair to be angry about here, suffering is just the way things are. 

So then, why bother hurting other people? Perhaps that’s why (he claims) he doesn’t usually bother.

-- Legato staring at his hand like it’s some new, fascinating species of insect, lol.

-- “I normally don’t interfere....it’s the way you look, Vash the Stampede.“ Huh? Vash’s facial expressions/mannerisms are so annoying they make you want to kill people and/or save kidnapped girls? OK...? 

-- At least the next line, “Your very existence causes me irritation” makes sense.

-- This mass Gung Ho Guns attack seems like overkill. Legato had it under control.

-- “Ladykiller?” Are women really that masochistic? :/ (No, I get it, it’s the hair). 

-- All but one Gung Ho Gun is here. Apparently there are rumors about this missing guy Chapel. Hm, wonder what they’ve heard. :3

-- “What’s wrong?” Haven’t you noticed there’s no people around? ::facepalm::

-- ...I guess the Roderick Thieves didn’t bury their brethren, after all.

-- Dominique the Cyclops is such an underrated character. Even if she’s the poster child for hubris. Her weird sense of honor...her perfect trenchcoat...her effortless cool...

-- “Call it a Spring cleaning of sorts...does that make you feel better?” Clearly not. Does it make her feel better?

-- Stupid button gag is stupid. Sometimes I forget this was made in 1998.

-- “I don’t want to hurt you.” Ugh, this part of Vash’s cornball persona is annoying. It’s in character that he’s still hoping to get out of a fight. I’ll just headcanon that he’s willing to be nice because she’s not crazy homicidal--she’s appealing to his sense of morality and wants a fair duel.

-- I’m enjoying watching Vash fight someone who can beat him in the areas where he’s used to having an advantage, so that he has to learn how to fight differently on the spot.

-- Vash mentally replaying a few key moments from the fight. Still not sure how he inferred her powers from those frames. I certainly couldn’t have. Vash spends so much time downplaying his intelligence that it’s easy to overlook, but I appreciate that he’s not a holy fool.

-- He blocks out her hypnotism by “focusing all senses only on pain.” Dominique’s not wrong to be stunned. It would probably take a normal human a lifetime of constant meditation practice for more than 3 seconds at a time to develop that level of control over his consciousness, at least. Keep this in mind when considering how he deals with life, compartmentalizes his feelings, etc.

Looks like this is the pain episode. Legato amuses himself and possibly exorcises some demons by killing people in horrifyingly painful ways, Vash survives and wins a fight by causing himself pain.

-- Really, Meryl? Every time I think she couldn’t be more oblivious, she reaches new heights.

-- Oh, Vash. If you want to scare your friends away, you can’t follow that up by going into goofy mode. It’s like the end of Abbey Road when the Beatles go from “The End,” a heartfelt goodbye that makes me cry every time, to a stupid rhyme, “Her Majesty.” It breaks the mood, diminishes the effect. 

No wonder Meryl doesn’t listen to you.

[an-american-teen-against-crime]

Hi! So I’m conducting kind of a survey/study? Can you rank the games in order from best to worst in your eyes? A simple list will suffice

AHH sorry this took me so long to finally do haha but I finally got it done! (this was. extremely difficult . I struggle) (also sorry some of my notes got kinda long so you can just skip ‘em if you wanna)

1. TRN- it has to be. My list has changed so much over the years and SPY was actually here once, but I’ve realized that this is the one that has stuck at the top throughout the years. It’s just SO. GOOD. from the music, plot, characters, hardy boys, setting, mystery, AUGH it’s amazing

2. SHA- I know this one is quite controversial in the fandom (chores.) but this had always been one of the top for me. It reminds me of my childhood (rip) and I just adore every single setting in this game- the atmosphere is wonderful. I just really adore the plot as well as the Dirk and Francis storyline, as well as the old west feeling (still not over the cliff dwellings or Dry Creek). THIS GAME MAKES ME V HAPPY

3. MHM- this was tough, but this was not only my first game but also it still holds up for me. It’s super old but I just adore the setting and gameplay, the spooks are top shelf and I just adore the feeling of this game from it’s puzzles and storyline. 

4. GTH- I have for sure played this game way too often, but I love it. The vibes in this game are TOP NOTCH, and I will never forget my first playthrough of this game. The story, the charACTERS, setting, music, is all so good. The puzzles tho are a bit of a draw back but I still love this game. 

5. SPY- I felt weird about have two “newer” games in my top five, but I genuinely love this game. It’s moved down since I’ve realized I kinda dislike the puzzles, but the spy aesthetic and the story of Nancy’s mom PLUS the Revenant/Colony Operation is SO INTERESTING to me. Not to mention this game has a unique story structure in the fact that Nancy solving the mystery is actually helping the bad guys which is really unique. I feel like this game also characterizes Nancy really well which I adore. 

6. CUR- So I actually thought this would be much lower on my list because I played this when I was much older than the other ones, so it has less nostalgia for me, but it still has some. (plus a lot of the game was spoiled for me before I played it because I watched a walkthrough of it. Dumb middle school Cambria WHY DID YOU DO THAT) The plot structure and just...the puzzles and how the whole game fits together is so amazing and the music/atmosphere/aesthetic is just SO AWESOME. Genuinely a spooky game and I adore it for that.

7. FIN- I adore this game, the plot, the timer/three days, the characters, setting, everything is awesome. I feel it’s pretty unique to the series which makes it even more special and its just SO GOOD. Plus it has Nick Falcone who is one of the best characters of all time. 

8. DDI- the atmosphere, THE MYSTERY, the whole setting it’s all just. wonderful. I love BEING in this game, and I feel like it’s one of those mysteries that really represents the series as a whole. 

9. TRT- Just like DDI I feel like this game really is a really good representation of these games as a series. It has everything that makes a good Nancy Drew game and it’s atmosphere is wonderful. I also love the history and while it’s way more treasure hunt like than mystery it does have good mystery elements and it’s a very cozy game.

10. SSH- I am shocked this game is so high, and I actually didn’t like it that much on my first playthrough. This is a game that gets better the more you play it because you uncover so much more- I love the museum and all the history, the social commentary, and the mystery IS SO INTERESTING. Like everything with Henrik trying to stop Sinclair and like you know there’s someone bad out there doing this stuff but you’re not sure who, and there’s all this information you uncover AHH. I know some don’t like the phone convos but I feel like tracking down all the different pieces opens up Nancy’s world so much and it makes it feel real. Also just the idea that you have to track them all down is so cool to me. Also the ending is freaky and gives me anxiety to this day.

11. SEA- this game makes me so happy, I adore Iceland, the setting, the story, the ship, the characters, ALL FABULOUS! Some of the puzzles are annoying but that’s a trend for the later games.

12. STFD- it shouldn’t be so high on the list probably but the mystery and plot line is always really fun for me. The whole premise, locations and iconic moments in this game are so special to me. I love just being in the game, it’s so simplistic. Plus, Dwayne Powers.

 13. WAC- this is the game I always fall back on to play. It’s further down simply because the puzzles are a little annoying at times, but the setting is great and I adore the school feeling of this game. It just always has been a game that has stuck out in my mind ever since it came out.

14. CLK- clk is so nostalgic for me, I literally don’t care about the time travel bit because it reminds me so much of reading the books. I love the town, the mystery, and it’s one of those games I can just relax in. You can spend hourS in this game and seriously do nothing but fish, deliver telegrams and play golf. Maybe a game of bard bounce in there too. 

15. SAW- I used to feel medium about this game, but as of my most recent replay, I’ve found I LOVE it. The setting is so freaky and I actually enjoy most of the puzzles. It just has this weird off feeling to it where you’re constantly being told everything is fine when everything is definitely not fine. I honestly wanna make a separate post just for this game, I have so many feelings on it haha.

16. DED- I love the feeling of this game, from it’s Tesla theme, to it’s puzzles, and also it’s a murder mystery which is super interesting. The mystery and gameplay is so fun for me, honestly not sure why.

17. CRY- I love this game’s atmosphere so so much, and a lot of the puzzles are really fun. The whole legend of the skull is fascinating and it has a great spooky vibe to it. However I feel like the plot is a bit weak and I am still salty Nancy doesn’t help Henry more. But also it has Henry Bolet.

18. TMB- I love Egyptology, I love archaeology, and this game is super fun to me for those reasons. the whole idea of the curse is spoopy and the puzzles are pretty cool too. I love both Dylan and Jamilla so that bumps this game up as well. 

19. VEN- I have wanted to go to Venice ever since I played this game, I feel it does a perfect job of making you feel like you’re really there. I love the whole spy aspects, and while some of the puzzles are EXTREMELY annoying it’s a really exciting game.

20. DOG- The vibe of this game is off the charts, I love the history and the mystery is kinda weird but leads you to a treasure hunt which is pretty interesting. I love the puzzles in this game and while the characters are kinda annoying I feel like this game is just so grounded and interesting. 

21. CAP- some stuff in this game is kinda dumb (PUZZLES. WHO PUT THEM THERE I NEED TO KNOW)  but the whole fairytale vibe is great, and I love the fact that Nancy is trying to track down a cryptid. I also kind of hate the culprit motivation, but it is what it is.

22. ICE- this is actually a pretty well put together game, I like the location, and the mystery is nice. It’s one of those that I really question the whole idea of why Nancy is solving the puzzles? Like I get it that she’s trying to get into the needle it’s just...sorta convoluted. Also some of the puzzles are really annoying in this game haha.

23. LIE- pains me to put this game so low on the list, but I freaking hate the puzzles in this game. I like the museum puzzles, and that’s IT. The set has no. reason. to have that weird of puzzles. This is one of those games that would have been better with the treatment of having more practical puzzles like the older games. Anyways, I still love the setting, the characters, and the fact that it’s in Greece, in a museum and has a play about a greek myth makes me really enjoy this game. Plus, I do like the whole villain plot and the ending you start feeling really trapped and freaked out which is exciting. 

24. ASH- I get why people love this game, I really do, but for some reason I always drag my feet to play it. It still is super interesting though from the mystery, characters, bad guy plan, and it has a good classic mystery vibe. I think I just have to be in the right mood to play it.

25. TOT- I actually do enjoy playing this game but the puzzles/chores can be really annoying, and I feel there needs to be more mystery. However I actually do enjoy the setting a lot and there’s something special about it to me. Plus I like to look at the clouds. :3

26. DAN- I like that it reminds me of Paris because it got that vibe, the history and locations are very cool, and I really enjoy being in the game. However the mystery is ditched for Nancy trying to solve the Noisette stuff which is annoying and weird and I feel like this game is a bit unfocused which bugs me. Plus I can’t remember a single puzzle right now other than that horrible wall clock puzzle.

27. MED- Yes, this game is a hot mess and I’m still upset about Sonny, but I actually really enjoy the location and puzzles of this game, it’s just really fun to be in. Also the reality tv show concept is fun. Wish the sheep were alive though.

28. HAU- I like a lot about this game but at the same time it feels very...small? Idk. I just feel like the whole game is Nancy running around on the moors solving random puzzles she just finds in the hopes of finding Matt. It’s weird. I do like the vibe tho and Fiona is a bit freaky. Plus, sheep.

29. CAR- peoplearegoingtomurdermeIwillbethenextjake listen I for some reason feel just meh about this game, idk if it’s just Joy, the location, or WHAT but for some reason it’s mostly meh for me. There’s bits that are fun and I always liked it when I was younger but for some reason it doesn’t do it for me. But I can get why people really like it! 

30. SCK: The vibes are great, the ending is v exciting, and I feel like the school is very creepy and the diner is a solid location. The whole mystery of how Jake was blackmailing everyone and the drug plotline is super interesting to me and while the disk switching drives me NUTS I really like pulling this one out just to feel like I’m in the 90s.

31. CRE- I think this game is fun and has some iconic bits to it, along with the fact I could spend hours at Big Island Mike’s Immersion Excursions, buT the fact is the mystery is freaking weird and I don’t like bugs. But we did get Big Island Mike. 

32. MID- Listen, this game is a good video game, but it’s a bad Nancy Drew game. I liked my first playthrough of this game, I really did, but theres just so many problems with it and it’s so upsetting to see what’s become of the series. You can tell that it wasn’t made by the same people and it doesn’t have the classic ND charm. There are a lot of plotholes and random stuff like the Hardy’s personalities in this game don’t make sense. However there are a lot of stuff that it enjoyable about this game and I will still replay it. It’s just kinda sad.

33. SCK Remastered: Lower than the OG because Beech is dumb and they changed the ending. Also some of the old magic is gone, and all the characters are way less likeable. However it did explain some stuff about Jake so there is that. 

34. RAN- It’s still fun at times and I like the location but the puzzles will be a thorn in my side till the day I die. Also the mystery is just meh. And it needed more characters, that’s just a fact. 

I guarantee that this will probably change by the time we are done with this playthrough, but until then this is my listing. I think it’s really a testament to the games though that there is no game I consider unplayable. SCK could be that game but I am willing to do the disk switching lol.

[necrocrunk]

top five snacks, top five music artists, top five video games.

had to take a shot for this one. lets do this.

dont like many snacks. but whatever

mini m&ms. these shits are the superior m&ms. not even the peanut ones compare. if i see these its on sight

reeses pieces. idk what it is about reese and his fuckin pieces, but the cups cant even contend

doritos sweet and spicy chili. we always have these at my house because i fucking LOVE them. honorable mention to baked bbq lays tho 

strawberry yogurt simply chex mix. idek if they make these shits anymore but i had them EVERY DAY at lunch when i was in highschool. i miss them every fucking day of my life, they’d be no 1 if they were easier to find

cheddar chex mix but only the chex mix in the bag. i only want the chex fuck the other shit

this ones hard BUT my top 5 of all time???? lets go

purity ring. i love this band with all my heart, i’ve seen them live and i never Dont adore their music. its amazing

glass animals. they came in at a weird point in my life and i still fuckin love them. seen them live too! very very very very good music and the closest vibes ive found is still woozy. give them a listen too

ghost. i HAVE ALSO seen these guys live. this was the band that finally inspired me to pursue satanism/luciferianism because of the power i felt over christian roots and bullying.their music makes me feel so individually powerful its good content

gorillaz OR orville peck..... im always excited about a new gorillaz song dont @ me.

this number reserved for all the rest of them. anyway. mitski, voltaire, diablo swing orchestra, second person, midicronica, dent may, owl city, black moth super rainbow..... sleep party people???pony pony run run. a bunch of bands that have stuck w me!

LAST but not least... this ones super hard 

journey. this was my game of the decade. i IMPLORE everyone to play it at least once, especially with someone else in game. it’s a beautiful, beautiful game that makes me cry every time i play it and ive beaten it over 20 times

bloodborne. have you watched the hbomberguy video on this game yet? its so undeniably good. it is EXACTLY my aesthetic, blood/gore, dark victorian and plague ridden cities, cool hats, scary monsters, cool fuckin weapons, beasts, cosmic horror done right, etc. it’s an AMAZING game 

persona 4. sorry i really like this game. im a big fan of games that focus around your relationships and how you navigate them, and thats essentially what persona games are. im not big on 5, but 4 really stuck with me. i think it’s because i played it when i was only a year younger than the protags

watch dogs 2. this is really my true no 2. i LOVE this game. i will wax poetic about this game for years. it’s got a diverse cast, a super fun protagonist, tons of cool character design and development, and an all around fun story. i love hacktivism, but i especially love the morals of rising up against corruption in this game. the gameplay isnt the best but i love it regardless. the fandom and old ARG it was running was super fun too. i’ve replayed this game multiple times without any dlc and i ADORE it. it was super underrated for its time IMO

destiny 2. unfortunately, i have a lot of fave games. very few have the hours ive put into destiny. hours played with friends, fuckin around, grinding for new content, etc. and i still have never done a raid! regardless i really love this game ive been playing it since D1 beta and i’ll be playing it till the inevitable D3

[fanfics4all]

Southside Rulers: Part 2

Request: Yes / No Can I request a Prt 2 for Southside Rulers? I didn’t request the first one but it was really good :-) Anon

Request are open but please read this before you request! <3 Have a nice day/night

Malachai x Sister!Reader

Word count: 1829

Warnings: Spoilers for the first episode of season 3!

Y/N: Your Name

Y/N/N: Your Nickname

A/N: I’ll write a part three when the Ghoulies come back into play for season 3!  

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK!

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you!

Part 1

Masterlist

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

*One month later*

Turns out the Serpent Prince wasn’t dead. What a disappointment. On the bright side, the Serpents were no longer on the Southside. We owned it and they weren’t coming back. I still wanted to cause trouble with them but Mal made sure I stayed away from them. Right now it was summer and Mal and I we at home.

“Hey Mal?” I asked and he looked up from his work.

“Yes?” He asked.

“I think we should get a dog.” I said with a smirk.

“And where is this coming from?” He asked.

“I want to cause some trouble and the Serpents had a dog.” I answered. Mal smirked and nodded.

“I see, you’re getting bored of being locked up and having nothing to do.” He chuckled and shook his head.

“So is that a yes?” I asked hopefuly.

“Okay okay, we can steal the dog.” He said getting up.

“Get dressed, we’ll get him in a few hours.” He said and I nodded. I went to my room and put on a white tank top, my black vest, black jeans, a cute pair of heels and a few accessories.

I walked out and Mal was ready to go.

“Change of plans, we’ll get him now.” He said.

“Awesome! Let’s go!” I said excited. I haven’t been able to do anything since the damn riot! I wanted out of this house. We got in Mal’s car and a few other Ghoulies joined us.

“I wanna grab him!” I said and Malachai rolled his eyes.

“Sis, you need to chill out.” He said and I stuck my tongue out at him.

“It was my idea so I’m grabbing the pup.” I said and he sighed.

“Fine.” He groaned. I smiled and we finally got there. I hopped out and looked around. No one was around, but just to be safe I snuck up to him.

“Hey little guy, come here.” I said quietly and crouched down to his level. He looked at me and turned his head to the side.

“Come on cutie.” I said motioning my hands to come closer to me. He ran up to me and licked my face.

“Awww you’re such a cutie!” I giggled.

“Y/N! Get him in the truck!” Mal growled and looked around.

“Okay okay!” I rolled my eyes and picked the dog up. I walked back to the truck and got in with the dog on my lap.

“His name is Hot Dog, couldn’t they have been more creative?” I asked checking his tag.

“They’re dumb snakes, what did you expect?” Mal said and I shrugged.

“Yeah you’re right.” I said. We took him back home and Penny was there looking at us with a raised brow.

“What the hell are you doing?” She asked with her arms crossed.

“I wanted a dog so I had a great Idea to take the Serpents’ dog.” I answered and put him down.

“Lock the mut up.” Penny said and I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Do you forget that Malachai is still the leader here and not you?” I growled.

“Y/N/N…” Mal said in a warning tone.

“Actually little girl, Hiram Lodge is the leader.” Penny said with a smirk.

“Screw that northside asshole! We own the Southside not him!” I said.

“You better watch your mouth before I cut your tongue out.” She said walking to me.

“Alright, Y/N get inside now!” Mal said stepping in between us.

“Are you serious!?” I growled.

“House. Now.” He said. I sighed and narrowed my eyes. I walked inside and watched as they lock the dog to a pole. Mal was talking to Penny and she did not look happy. Once they finished talking Mal walked inside. He sat next me and sighed.

“You need to watch your mouth.” He said and to me and I looked at him wide eyed.

“Are you kidding me! You’re taking that bitches side? She’s a Snake!” I shouted getting up.

“She isn’t a Snake anymore! And she’s right, we work for Hiram Lodge now! I don’t care that you don’t like it! You better learn your place because I can’t protect you forever!” He shouted back and he had tears in his eyes.

“Mal…” I said quietly, he was never one to cry. He sat down and put his head in his hands. I sat down and placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Mal, what happened?” I asked.

“Hiram doesn’t like you being a big mouth, Penny says you have one more chance or…” He trailed off.

“Or what Mal?” I asked.

“You’ll be put in your place… I can’t protect you from him now that we work for him…” He said and shook his head.

“He can hurt me all he wants, ain’t nothing gonna make me follow him and his stupid Northside ideas!” I said and Mal shook his head.

“That’s not what I meant… Y/N/N I’ll go to jail, and you’ll be alone…” He said and my eyes widened.

“No! I’m not letting you go back to jail!” I said.

“I’m sorry Mal, I’ll behave…” I sighed. I couldn’t lose my brother.

“I’m sorry I got us into this Y/N/N.” He said and pulled me close to him.

*Two months later*

It’s been two months since we took the dog. Penny wanted to use him as a trap just Jughead and the Serpents. They only fed him enough to keep him alive, but I would sneak outside and feed him extra, I wanted him be healthy. He was really such a sweetie, I wish we could keep him… I was inside and Mal and I watched as some Serpents pull up. They got out and just stood there.

They stood there for an hour. I had no idea what they were doing but whatever it was, was stupid.

“Can’t we just go out there a take care of them already?” I asked annoyed that we weren’t doing anything.

“No.” Penny said and I rolled my eyes.

“But-”

“Y/N…” My brother warned me. I sighed and look back out the window. Jughead grabbed a pair of cutters. He walked over to Hot Dog and cut him free.

“Now!” Penny said and the guys turned the lights on. We all walked out following Penny ugh!

“Hiya, Jonesy. Welcome back to the Southside.” She said and we all had our weapons. It felt so nice to hold my baby in my hands again, I missed this feeling.

“I thought this mangy mutt might get you to show up.” She said and I rolled my eyes. We got on three sides of him, no one wanted to have our backs turned to the Snakes at the truck.

“We need to talk.” Penny said.

“No, we don’t Penny. I’m here for the dog.” Jughead said.

“If you didn’t want trouble, why have you been sending spies all summer, trying to get in our business? Back off.” She said and I looked up at Mal confused.

“Unless you want a replay of riot night.” She added and I smirked.

“Yeah, I’ve been sending scouts. I was looking for Hot Dog. Now that I’ve got him, we’re good.” He said and turned to walk off.

“No so fast.” Penny said stopping him.

“Your jacket… The Southside isn’t yours anymore. That means you’re no longer the Southside Serpents.” He said and I raised my eyebrow at her. It’s just a stupid jacket, they know they don’t own the Southside. Mal slightly shook his head at me and I sighed.

“Really Penny? A jacket?” Jughead said annoyed at her.

“We could always just take it off you limp dead body.” She said.

“Please let me do it.” I said giving him an evil smile.

“Y/N…” Mal whispered and I stepped back.

“Oh, I also heard ponytail’s a Serpent now, your Northside Queen. Maybe we’ll go after her next.” Penny said walking closer to him. I smirked, please, I want some damn action!

“Fine. You can have the jacket as long as you and the Ghoulies stay out of the Northside.” He said.

“Oh, you don’t get to make demands.” Mal said stepping up and I smirked. Jughead looked at him and suddenly and arrow was shot into my brother shoulder and he screamed.

“Mal!” I shouted and ran over to him.

“Cheryl!” Jughead shouted and I turned to see some redhead bitch holding a bow and arrow.

“Told you I was in the mood for some hell raising.” She said with a smirk.

“That’s it. Just kill ‘em all.” Penny said.

“You Northsider bitch!” I shouted and was ready to rush at her.

“Cheryl, aim your next arrow right between Penny’s eyes.” Jughead ordered, like that would stop me. Penny held her hand up and stopped everyone from moving. Mal grabbed my wrist to keep me in place.

“If you and your Ghoulies take one more step, she’s gonna release that arrow. Cheryl doesn’t miss.” Jughead said. Penny looked at him for a minute. I pulled out of my brother grip and stepped up.

“Go ahead and shoot her, see if I care.” I challenged.

“Y/N!” Mal growled.

“As much as I would love to beat the hell out of you again, Jug, that Northsider bitch just jumped ahead of you.” I said with a sweet smile. I shoved him out of the way and started running towards the chick with the bow.

“You’re gonna pay bitch!” I growled. Before I got to her she moved her aim and shot me in the stomach.

“Cheryl!” Jughead shouted at her again.

“Y/N/N!” Mal shouted as I fell to the ground. The arrow went all the way through and I was pretty sure it hit my left lung.

“Stupid bitch!” I coughed.

“Congratulations. You just make the Northside fair game.” Penny said. Jughead pulled the dog away and looked at me. He gave me a sad look, I could see he wanted to help me. Jughead and I use to be friends, before we knew about all the gangs. The friendship fell apart once I took on my duties as the Ghoulie Princess. Hot Dog licked my face but Jughead pulled him away.

“See you soon, Jonesy.” Penny shouted. They put the dog in the truck and drove off. Mac ran up and picked me up. He brought me inside and laid me on the couch. Mal pushed everyone and fell to his knees next to me.

“Y/N/N, you’re gonna be okay.” He said and I coughed.

“We gotta get her to the hospital.” Mac said.

“I feel tired…” I said and Mal shook his head.

“Mac, take her now! Don’t let her die!” Mal ordered and Mac nodded. He picked me up and put me in his truck. He rushed to the hospital and they rushed me in. I blacked out not too long after we got there...

Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @xrosesareredx @herokyolachan @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs @schisbro87 @lover-of-books-and-teas @nerdygaloresposts @alex--awesome--22 @teenwolfbitches2 @genius2050 @drw0301bieber @tigermillionaire-philanthropist @emo-godess-loves-you @hiya-imthatgirl @answer-the-sirens @mindsetjupiter @averysinclaire @mittelerde1999 @sweetest-peas @rousewriter @jjkingston @k-is-cray @camiconfessions @scarrasco1325 @theladykillers @southsideserpentfairytale

[elizadoolittlethings]

https://www.room207press.com/2018/01/we-dont-go-back-76-league-of-gentlemen.html

Friday, 19 January 2018

We Don't Go Back #76: The League of Gentlemen (1999-2017)

When

The League of Gentlemen

was first broadcast, I didn't own a TV, and by the time I owned one, I was living with my Beloved, who didn't have any interest in seeing it. Nonetheless, I could tell you a not insignificant amount about the major characters, and reel off catchphrases. I could tell you what it was like. People cared about it. Partly this was because several of my friends adored it, and it entered the referential lexicon of our conversation. But partly it seemed to be present, part of the furniture of our pop culture.

For example, I remember that at the time the university LGB society (the T or the Q were not yet added, which is related to a point I'll pick up later) used pictures of prominent gay and lesbian people on posters for an anti-homophobia campaign and one of them was Mark Gatiss, and I recognised him as the chap from

The League of Gentlemen

. It's fair to say that

The League of Gentlemen

fell firmly into the category of things I'd never seen but which I could take part in a conversation about without getting completely lost.

I never got round to watching

The League of Gentlemen

.

But now this project is Serious Business, there are some things I can't really get away with leaving out. So I committed myself to watching it. A good friend expressed concern that it might be too late for me to do that. I sort of half understood what he was getting at, but only really got what he was about having worked through it.

The usual caveats about how writing about comedy are the antithesis of funny apply here, by the way (I still think my funniest article was the one about

Planet of the Apes

, but I digress).

Honest town signs.

The League of Gentlemen

are Reese Shearsmith, Mark Gatiss, Steve Pemberton and Jeremy Dyson. All four of them write; Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith appear in front of the camera and divide the vast majority of characters, men and women, between them.

It's set in and around the fictional village of Royston Vasey ("You'll never leave!"), in the North of England, where everyone is a grotesque. It's sort of but not entirely sketch comedy.

Some characters appear in most of the episodes: Pauline (Pemberton), who runs a job start course, loves pens and despises the unemployed; Mike (Pemberton), Barry (Gatiss) and their spectacularly messed up mate Geoff (Shearsmith); disappointed musician Les McQueen (Gatiss); Mr Chinnery the vet (Gatiss again), who kills every animal he touches; Hilary Briss the butcher (also Gatiss) who puts something terrible and evil in his delicious sausages; and perhaps the most iconic characters in the show, Edward and Tubbs (Shearsmith and Pemberton), a pair of debased, depraved yokels who run a Local Shop for Local People and who visit unspeakable fates on anyone who comes who isn't Local.

What's all this SHOUTING?

But unlike many sketch shows, the recurring characters' stories progress from episode to episode. So for example, the fate of innocent Benjamin (Shearsmith) at the hands of his finicky aunt Val (Gatiss) and monstrous uncle Harvey (Pemberton) develops and escalates as he realises he might never be able to leave, and begins to formulate a plan of escape. Pauline finds her nemesis in one of her course attendees. Mr Briss's Special Stuff creates an epidemic of nosebleeds.

Many characters appear in no more than a handful of episodes at most, and become the focus of the episodes they're in. The Legz Akimbo theatre company (slogan: "put yourself in a child!") come to visit the local school but their internal tensions destroy the group. A guide leads a party of tourists through the Royston Vasey caves, while replaying a terrible tragedy for which he blames himself. A farmer keeps a man who slept with his wife as a scarecrow in his field. Kenny Harris (Gatiss), owner of the Dog Cinema, engages in a cutthroat business struggle with a rival who's more into cat films.

And then there's Papa Lazarou.

HELLO, DAVE!

Papa Lazarou (Shearsmith) is the single most nightmarish creation of the League of Gentlemen, and along with Tubbs and Edward, is most representative of the show's folk horror elements. He's the owner of the Pandemonium Carnival, which comes to town early in series 2. Papa Lazarou is a nightmare in human form, his scabrous face caked in black-and-white minstrel makeup. He forces his way into people's houses, insisting on calling them "Dave", and intimidating them through an almost supernatural power of domination into giving him their wedding ring, wherein he spirits them away as his slaves, with the phrase, "You're my wife now."

He is genuinely terrifying, and I wonder how that first episode he's in would play if it didn't have a laugh track (only the first two seasons have laugh tracks). And of course he's one of the two places where people most take offence at

The League of Gentlemen.

The most usual objection to Papa Lazarou is that he's in minstrel blackface. But while minstrel makeup is a blot on our culture, it is, it's obvious from the way that Papa Lazarou is framed is that he's supposed to be horrific because he's precisely the sort of person who wears blackface and always wears it.

In his second appearance (the final episode of series 3) there's an insane visual gag revolving around him disguising himself as relatively normal by painting a pale skin tone

over

his blackface makeup, which I found hilarious. But it's also a bit of a problem for a lot of viewers, evidently, because I've read at least two pieces online that interpret the scene as meaning that he's naturally minstrel-toned, which is... Well, I don't know. I'm starting to doubt my own reading a bit, but part of Papa Lazarou's grotesquerie is that you can see how the black and white paint is caked on his face in closeup, and I'm sort of inclined to go with my original reading, partly because it's much less hard to swallow, and mostly because it's a lot funnier.

The League of Gentlemen

is part of a tradition of British comedy and horror alike that deals with grotesque figres: in a show with Geoff, Mr Briss, Pauline, Harvey and, oh God, Edward and Tubbs, Papa Lazarou is just one more of a parade of freaks and monsters. And he is scary, really scary. The episode where Papa Lazarou and his Pandemonium Carnival comes to town (season 2, episode 1) is the point where I moved from a state of "that bit was pretty good" ambivalence to understanding why people consider

The League of Gentlemen

to be an undisputed classic of British TV comedy. Whatever the framing of Papa Lazarou and his freakshow (and notwithstanding the arguments about whether anyone should be making gags about blackface at all, the politics of freakshows is a subject I am simply not equipped to get into), that whole episode is a delirious comic horror and I have seen little to match it.

I can't go to Dorothy Perkins.

The other point where

The League of Gentlemen

gets some flak is in the figure of Babs the transgender cabbie. And the joke with Babs is partly that she's butch and hairy, so that she looks like a bloke in drag (specifically that she resembles the other women characters on the show, only more so), and partly that she's excessively forthcoming about the mechanical details of her transition with her clients. It's complicated by the fact that most of the people of Royston Vasey like her and are supportive of her. No one on the show is ever an open bigot about Babs. She's never deadnamed, for instance. And she's essentially one of the most sympathetic characters in the show. But nonetheless she embodies most of the most enduring transphobic stereotypes, simply by being so grotesque (so much so that we never see her face).

And back in 1999, as I mentioned in passing, we still talked about LGB issues and a lot of us hadn't added the T yet. And it's not as if trans people hadn't been there all along, but trans rights are in the general sphere of discourse now in a way that in the UK they weren't in the 90s. And this doesn't mean that a character like Babs isn't a problem, it means that many of the people who might be aware of the problem now weren't then because it hadn't been pointed out to them. And that isn't an excuse either. It's like all the history that comes back, unresolved, to haunt us.

You could tell that it haunted

The League of Gentlemen

: in the special episodes that aired over the 2017 Christmas season, she's back. She has to be, really: in a lot of ways, Babs acts like a Greek chorus for the unfolding story. So here she is, opening proceedings as ever. Barbara has transitioned successfully now, and she even says that trans people should not be "a source of cheap laughs" just for being who they are, and given that Barbara is a character who has always been framed as having her heart in the right place, as someone you're supposed to sympathise with, it's pretty clear that this is what Dyson, Gatiss, Pemberton and Shearsmith actually think.

But for her to even appear, and it's more or less obligatory that she does, she still has to supply a joke. So now, no longer an Ugly Trans Person, Barbara is an Excessively Touchy Trans Person who seizes on innocuous statements and takes offence to comic effect.

I wonder if Papa Lazarou and Barbara are problems like this because of the way

The League of Gentlemen

engages with its inspirations.

The League of Gentlemen

owes a great deal to classic British TV and cinema of the 60s and 70s, but crucially it engages with that source material in a way that enriches the show. It's instructive here to compare it with

Dr Terrible's House of Horrible

, which is roughly contemporary and which, unlike

The League of Gentlemen

, has not entered the annals of classic comedy. They both get their inspiration from similar places, in fact in several cases the same places – I mentioned

The League of Gentlemen

's odd relationship with sketch comedy, and it's sort of fair to say that it's sketch comedy in the way that an Amicus anthology horror is sketch horror. But where

Dr Horrible

depended on your being familiar with the source material, at least to some extent, to get the gag,

The League of Gentlemen

tells a collection of stories that don't depend on any foreknowledge at all. It's not a parody, and it's not entirely an homage either, although it has parodic elements and homage is threaded through the whole thing.

Rather, it's a comedy that focusses on the absurdity of evil and the equal absurdity of despair and that uses the grammar of classic British horror to tell those stories.

A Beast.

For example, a narrative thread in the fourth episode has workers on a proposed road digging up an inexplicable creature. Mr Chinnery comes to examine it, and proves as incompetent as ever. And while the scene carries a bunch of signifiers that come from Nigel Kneale, echoing

Quatermass

and

Beasts

in particular, and multiplied by the simple fact that Mr Chinnery looks and acts like Tristan Farnham (Peter Davison's character in

All Creatures Great and Small

), the joke doesn't depend on that. It depends on a moment of uncanny horror punctured when the vet's incompetence is revealed once more.

For the joke to land, you don't have to have seen

Baby

or

Quatermass and the Pit

, and while the whole scene is richer if you imagine Tristan Farnham in a Nigel Kneale script, that's not the joke. No, for the joke to land, you just need to have seen Mr Chinnery in action enough for you to be waiting for the moment when he fails catastrophically.

And throughout

The League of Gentlemen

, this texture is present. Royston Vasey is a vaguely comical, Northern-sounding name. But it is also the real name of legendarily foul-mouthed comedian Roy "Chubby" Brown, who himself appears later in the series as the town's mayor. And the joke with the mayor is that he's got a swearing problem, and that's a simple enough joke that you don't need to know who Roy "Chubby" Brown is, or that he's guesting as mayor of a town named after him to get it. That other stuff helps, but it isn't essential.

But the problem with the way that

The League of Gentlemen

mines classic horror and comedy is that sometimes it homages the things that perhaps should be left behind, so you get characters like Babs and Papa Lazarou, who are both beautifully played and well-written comic characters, but who reference stuff that is difficult to justify beyond nostalgia.

The League of Gentlemen

is important as the first sign of the folk horror renaissance that we've had in the last few years. Rather than saying "look at all these ropey old films! Aren't they terrible?"

The League of Gentlemen

embraces them, but crucially makes new things. It's a comedy, but it's also a horror: Edward and Tubbs reference any number of pagan village conspiracies. "We didn't burn him!" blurts Tubbs to the Scottish policeman who comes looking for poor missing Martin, but not before Edward tells Tubbs that she "did it beautifully."  You don't have to know that they're quoting

The Wicker Man

to think they're funny and scary.

There's nothing for

you

here.

The members of

The League of Gentlemen

have taken active part in the rise of folk horror as a recognised genre. Jeremy Dyson scripted the recent film

Ghost Stories.

Shearsmith of course starred in

A Field in England

, and with Pemberton continues to make

Inside No. 9

, an anthology show that combines comedy and drama, and which has had at least a couple of folk horror episodes. The most notable of these is

The Trial of Elizabeth Gadge

, where Pemberton and Shearsmith play 17th century witch hunters. Just like

The League of Gentlemen

,

The Trial of Elizabeth Gadge

isn't a spoof or a parody, it's a black comedy that stands on its own merits, even while it draws inspiration from other sources.

And Reese Shearsmith took part in Folk Horror Revival's 2016 event at the British Museum, hearing about which is how I realised that there was a name for the things I liked.

Mark Gatiss is the man who might be credited for extending the name "folk horror" to a genre (Piers Haggard being the first to apply it consciously to his own film). In his 2010 series

History of Horror

, Gatiss popularised the idea of the Unholy Trinity, and talked at length about

Blood on Satan's Claw

, which probably did more to bring about the critical reassessment of that film than anything else. Gatiss also wrote

Crooked House

, which aired on the BBC in 2008, and the 2013 adaptation of

The Tractate Middoth.

Together with Shearsmith, Gatiss has remade

Blood on Satan's Claw

as an audio drama (released January 2018).

You could argue pretty persuasively that without

The League of Gentlemen

, there might not have been a rebirth of interest in folk horror at all. Without them, it would still be an accidental genre. A local genre, for local people.

My

Patreon

supporters got to see this last week! To support my work and read early, please consider donating. No donation too small.

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Howard Ingham

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1:25 pm

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interesting read

this pic motivated the search

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQHVqfTZiw_khqpo2AZaRMu1kFLvWgFeO4wkNBNxGKnoLxxu-LI