#I’m writing all of this at 1 am

[tagzpite]

Y’all have no idea how happy I would be to drop more of this au and I am so working on it. It’s something I’ve wanted to properly draw and write out in so long. And seeing how positively it’s received is just MWAH.

So in this au, Ichigo died alongside Masaki and turned into a hollow in a desperate attempt to save their mother. Ichi’s gender is very ambiguous as i like to have this version be that Ichigo was born a girl, however having White, who’s very much male, had them be extremely ambiguous and uncaring of something so trivial to their new existence.

In this version, Isshin gained his powers back quicker, as Ichigo died, and actually helped his child adjust to this new existence. Thus Ichigo lived mostly in the living world, only going to feed to Hueco mundo.

As for if any of you noticed, Ichi has a scar over their eye, which is a scar left by Byakuya who nearly killed them in their first encounter. Breaking their mask while they were still an Adjuchas and nearly ending them. However thanks to Urahara, who is already familiar with em, they were able to keep going.

They evolved into a Vasto Lorde in Soul Society with the help of Yoruichi, and then they became an Arrancar when Aizen cracked their mask fully as a parting gift.

arrancar ichi update!!

[l3viat8an]

idk if it’s just me but ANGRY SEX omfg like imagine they just get so angry they HAVE to pound the shit out of you 🤭🤭 - 🪰

Nsfw

I got like 9 asks about angry /  rough sex in like an hour the other day from different anons are y’all okay? Just horny?

CW: angry / rough-ish sex, afab! reader, pick your boy cuz I couldn’t lmao

You don’t even remember what the fight was about…did you even have an argument?…Your mind is too fuzzy to think straight…..

Not right now anyway, not while he has you pressed against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist…not while he’s pounding into you so roughly, all you can do is moan and claw at his shirt trying to ground yourself.

Hell he’d practically ripped off, mumbling about getting them out of his way. Not that you care right now-

Your too busy moaning, whining with every movement of his hips, every slide of his cock in and out of your poor abused cunt….

His fingers digging into you ass so hard you’ll definitely have little bruises tomorrow. All while he keeps nipping and sucking at your neck, making sure to mark you as his even when he’s angry. Especially when he’s angry

Only pausing to whisper degrading words right in your ear, mocking you for letting him fuck you like this even after you said you were mad at him, even after yelling at each other….calling you a whore, his whore and asking if you knew you’d end up like this?

You both knew you’ll always end up like this-

Your eyes fall closed as you moan louder….begging for more…until you let out a surprised gasp as he pulls you away from the wall, your arms tightening around his shoulders at the sudden shift and now he’s using his grip on your ass to bounce you on his cock, chuckling at your startled expression.

You can only whine louder and hold on tighter as he uses you as a little fuck toy……you’d be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so fucking good-

Maybe you really did deserve the way he mocked you-

His cock keeps hitting your sweet spot inside you just perfectly~

Hearing him groan in your ear as you cum around his cock.

Seeing that damn smirk on his face when your walls keep spasming around his cock, as if you still want more even deeper inside, and he taunts you by calling you a slut….his slut as he moves, dropping you on bed.

Pushing you down as he trusts into you again, moving his hips faster and faster until he’s pounding into you again….until he’s cumming…..moaning your name as he stuffs your poor little cunt with his sticky cum….

[turtleblogatlast]

Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in

Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.

[bigboysteveharrington]

Eddie lowkey outing himself by accident but Robin’s the only one that’s even certain that’s what’s happening

Eddie’s finally graduated and he’s having a celebratory bonfire with the Hellfire Club and Steve and Nancy and Robin at it. They’re out by Skull Rock so that they won’t get shit or noise complaints from other people in the trailer park. They’ve already ceremonially burned 6 years worth of Eddie’s notes and homework and failed tests by the time Eddie goes off on his own

Which later, he’ll realize wasn’t a great choice. But it’s supposed to be safe in Hawkins with all the gates closed now and in the moment, he just knows that his bladder has caught up to all the drinking and he really needs to take a leak. And okay, maybe he goes a little further away from everyone than is strictly necessary, but he has a shy bladder

And it’s fine at first. He takes a piss and zips his pants back up and goes to head back to where everyone else is but then he gets cut off by the latest kind of demo-monster to be on the loose in Hawkins and he has nothing on him but his wallet, his lighter, and a pack of cigarettes so he is certain that he’s really dead meat this time

He stumbles backwards in his rush to get away from the demo-thing and ends up falling over a broken branch and landing on his ass. The things still moving closer and they’re not supposed to like fire, so he pulls his lighter out and holds the pathetic little flame at arm’s length and yells at it to keep back as if that’s going to do anything. He shouts at it as loud as he can, but he’s the one that brought the boombox and set the volume at the highest so he’s not holding out a lot of hope about being heard and he doesn’t know that it would really help if any of them heard him anyway. So mostly he just thinks he’s dragging out his own death by making the thing come after him slightly more hesitantly because of the fire

But Steve notices Eddie sneak off on his own and it hasn’t been that long, but he thought he’d be back by now, so he’s already contemplating going to check that he’s fine when he hears something off in the direction Eddie went over the shitty music

And clearly Nancy heard it too because she’s already rushing off in that direction and while Robin and the kids rush after her to see what’s going on and Eddie’s out of the loop friends look at each other confused about what’s going on, Steve grabs a big ass stick off the ground and pours the last of his drink over the end and dunks it in the fire and then grabs a big ass bottle of vodka for good measure because even though he couldn’t totally hear what Eddie called out and even though this might just be Eddie up to his usual dramatics on the way back, Steve knows there’s a very real chance that it’s not and that once again the nightmare with the Upside Down isn’t really over like they thought it was and there’s no way he’s risking rushing in as weaponless as everyone else and putting them all in danger. He’ll be the weird guy that chased Eddie with a flaming tree branch to his Hellfire friends if he has to be because he’ll take that over risking anything happening to anyone there

Eddie’s lying on his back on the ground with the full body weight of the demo-thing on him and he’s got his eyes clenched shut and he’s holding on tight to his lighter with his hands up with to protect his face as if that’s going to do anything to stop this thing from ripping him to shreds, but then suddenly there’s a squelching thwack and then an awful ear-splitting screeching and there’s nothing holding Eddie down anymore. He opens his eyes and sees Steve beating the thing with a flaming tree branch and Nancy grabbing an equally large not flaming stick to join in while everyone else rushes over to check that Eddie’s okay. And then Steve warns Nancy to back up and throws the vodka bottle at the demo-thing and lights it fully on fire

It takes a bit for it to burn and Eddie to remember how to stand back up, but by the time he does, Eddie’s adrenaline is still running wild and he’s floating on the natural high that comes with narrowly escaping death. He tells the kids he’s fine and gets up and then turns to Steve and starts heading toward him while he laughs and gushes, “That was incredible. I was sure I was sure I was a goner and then there you were just casually pulling off the most badass move I’ve ever seen out of anyone. Seriously dude. That was awesome. I swear I could kiss you right now.” Which he emphasizes by grabbing Steve’s face in both hands and then planting a quick dramatic kiss on him and he only really realizes what he’s done in front of everyone after he’s already let go of his face so he quickly rushes to add, “Seriously, I could kiss all of you right now” but then nope, that’s not a good cover either and he realizes as soon as the words are out of his mouth, so he quickly adds, “I mean not any of you kids because that’d be weird, but” and thankfully Robin chimes in with “I’m good without” and Nancy quickly adds that she is too so Eddie doesn’t have to start kissing all of his friends near his age just to try to cover for the whole heat of the moment kissing Steve before thinking it through thing. And Steve hasn’t hit him, so that’s a good sign that he might get out of this with people just assuming this is another one of his eccentricities and nothing serious

The kids and Nancy just assume that the kiss was just an extension of his dramatics and that he thought it would be funny. Robin is onto Eddie, but not about to say anything about it. Steve’s too busy with his internal huh, okay… apparently I like that to even start considering Eddie’s motives until long after the kiss has actually happened

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Randomly thinking about “tolerate it” (narrator voice: it was not random) and how under the cloak of fiction it is ostensibly inspired by works like “Rebecca” (which Taylor said she read during the 2020 lockdowns I believe?), with the line of “you’re so much older and wiser” indicating that the speaker is significantly younger and inexperienced compared to the person she’s speaking to and a pretty direct reference to the plot of the book.

But I saw something somewhere once that stuck with me about how it might not be referring to relative age between the characters but chronological age as in the passage of time in a relationship. And that made me think about how in a contemporary context, it might not necessarily be referencing an actual age gap between the two characters, but rather a sarcastic or cynical response to the man’s claims that he has matured (“you’re so much older and wiser [than you were before/than you were when we met/etc.]”), which then made me think about that line in relation to the woman. And that it could be taken like, “you act like you’ve matured so much in our time together and like you know everything, while I’m supposedly still stuck as the girl I was when we first met.”

Which then made me think of the “right where you left me” of it all and did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen time went on for everyone else she won’t know it and the bit in Miss Americana where she talks about how celebrities get frozen at the age at which they got famous, and how she’s had to play catch up in a lot of ways not just in her emotional growth but kind of in general. (Which also made me wonder if she’s ever been called out for immaturity/lack of curiosity/lack of education about things in her life…)

Which then made me think about the rest of the song, and @taylortruther’s posts yesterday about “seven” and “Daylight” and the way Taylor idealizes her youth yet contrasts it with an almost sinister reality in its wake, and the line, “I sit by the door like I’m just a kid,” because the discussion raised that her relationship let her recapture some of the childlike joy and wonder she’d lost. So this line is a double-edged sword: the speaker sits by the door with childlike hope that the person will come home and cherish her, but on the darker side, feels like the child dealing with the monsters she doesn’t have names for yet and the feelings of isolation she felt as she aged.

I’m not saying the song is necessarily autobiographical; like most of the songs on folkmore, it’s clearly a fictionalized story based on media she’d consumed and created, but we know a lot of the fictional songs were infused with her own feelings and experiences and… This idea swirling in my head picked up steam and now I kind of can’t stop thinking about it. Sorry but I’m a little obsessed now.

Like maybe it might start to shed light on why she identified so strongly with the novel in the first place…

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

I was kinda hyperfocusing on completing some pieces for something, and wanted to come back online only after I finished them, but then I realized I wouldn’t get done nearly in time anyway… So they’re postponed for a later date, who knows when. I’ll take my time. Anyway, I’ll try not to disappear again, especially so soon… ^^;

But yeah, it’s been a while since I posted about Zangetsu, so here is he.

At first, I was just gonna go for a regular sketch. But then I decided to put him in a turtleneck, ‘cause, yeah, that’s what I like drawing, idk what to tell you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And then I wanted to render it the same way I did for Ichigo and Orihime’s b-day pieces since it’s fun and I like the colors. And then, since I was already drawing him with a turtleneck in that style… at this point, I was kinda making excuses not to draw Zangetsu in the same outfit. So I gave in and did it, eheh. Hey, it’s a really good fit. I should draw it more (1), and I really wanted to see Zangetsu in it (2). So yeah.

Plus, I like trios, and this makes it a set of three, heheh. (Plus maybe, just maybe, this makes up for not finishing anything for him on his birthday ;~; Listen, okay: Ichigo was the priority… I’ll try to do better next year…)

(Also, this may or may not stay a collection of three… but if there are additions, it’ll be sometime in the future, when I get the spontaneous urge again)

[timeofjuly]

I’ve been too scared to reread rtc to work out what needs to happen in chapter 13 because I convinced myself that the whole fic is a flaming pile of cringey flimsy garbage, but ya know what, I finally gathered the courage to (skim) read it and it’s not as bad as I thought lol. My interpretation and understanding of the characters has changed a lot since I started writing it (thank you to all of the extraordinarily talented writers in this fandom whose works have since shaped my characterisation for the better) so if I could go back, I’d make some different choices. But - and this is me putting this into words in an attempt to convince myself of its truth - this is a hobby, not a test. I’m not a failure because I’m not retroactively meeting the standards I have for my writing today with words I wrote six months ago. Are there bits of clumsy writing and mischaracterisation? Yes, absolutely. Does that mean I’m a bad writer and a bad person who should throw their laptop out the window and never write another word again? Probably not lol, even if rereading that mischaracterisation makes me want to do exactly that.

I’m glad I’ve pulled the bandaid off and reread it, a) because I kinda know what I want to happen in the next chapter now and b) because rereading it, despite the Shame and Embarrassment, reminded me that I actually like writing rtc. Even the bits I cringe at now - I remember having fun writing them. And then I looked back at some comments and remembered how much I love the sense of community that comes with putting myself out there, even though being perceived by others is probably my biggest fear. I like writing, and I like sharing my writing. Why am I letting shame ruin this for myself? I want to stop feeling icky and embarrassed about things I worked hard on.

Anyway. All this to say: I like writing rtc, despite the flaws I see in it, so I need to learn to work through my learned response to imperfection, which is to just feel terrible about it lol. I’m going to start messing around with chapter 13 soon. I really do miss playing around in the rtc world and I’m so excited to show you all what I have planned for the characters <3

[hamable]

HEAR ME OUT!!!

Bakudeku/Class-1A Camp Rock AU

DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THE VISION

[mollyrolls]

several hits of my cart in and it’s tasting like it’s time to bite the bullet and write an akaashi series

[crossbackpoke-check]

inspired by @colap1nto <3 and posting here to hold myself accountable: writevember! attempting to write something every day no matter how much and what it is

i am however inventing stipulations for myself so i cannot weasel my way out of it, which includes a valid definition of “write”:

actively put words into a document in the form of a proper fic!!! too many wip not enough hands!!

poems (actually laughed at me coming up with this but maybe i will go back to my roots)

research/meta/primers

tag stories are permissible IF i actually compile and edit them into a readable document that day

editing to post to ao3 (the optimism) is also valid. it takes me so long

i do have concrete arbitrary deadlines for one and a half fics that i would LOVE to finish and post in november (dewey^2 and [redacted :)]) so i’m hoping this helps!! also, this is secretly just a sticker chart where i get to put down emojis for each fic i worked on and check off boxes but a win is a win

day 1: 🪻🐈‍⬛

day 2: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)

day 3: 🫃2️⃣

day 4: 🍎

day 5: 🫃2️⃣

day 6: 📑, 💌

day 7: 🫃2️⃣ AND ☁️💧. who is she

day 8: 🪻🐈‍⬛

day 9: 🫃2️⃣

day 10: 🫃2️⃣

day 11: 🫃2️⃣ we are on a STREAK and also a countdown 🫡

day 12: 🫃2️⃣

day 13: 🫃2️⃣

day 14: 📬💍

day 15: 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)

day 16: 🫃2️⃣

day 17: 🔴 ⚫️,🫃2️⃣

day 18:🪻🐈‍⬛

day 19: 🪻🐈‍⬛, 😇🤭 (🕒 -> 🕜)

day 20:🫃2️⃣

day 21: 🫃2️⃣, 🤫 🪽🃏

day 22: 🫃2️⃣

day 23: 💯❕

day 24: 🪢

day 25: 🐛🏮🦋

[silverhalla]

I think it would be rly sick if you went to go build a crow rook and the surname was Arainai

like…. just another little compradi trying to bring glory back to your house - rinnala and taliesin are dead by the house’s hand, zevran failed and deserted, guili murdered in the night, all semblance of power lost once again. the house is trying to claw its way back up, futile as it seems. that’s the way of house arainai, isn’t it? talon to knife to talon to knife to nothing, same as it’s been since the house first lost power in the early dragon age. but you, bright-eyed little crow, you’ll break the cycle, won’t you? for the family?

after all, caterina’s prized heir is right there - the demon of vyrantium, the infamous mage killer, sleeping just down the hall. you can be quiet, can’t you? all those means at your disposal, and all the opportunities you could want. you could find a way in under that armor, get to something soft and bruisable and make it bleed. he’s far from home, isn’t he? without a friend? confidantes are few and far between - even a demon must get lonely.

maybe he’d even trust you. you’re a clever little bird, right? you can find something to exploit. after all, what does a would-be talon do except claw, except maim? what else would you be good for? there is no gentleness to crows - you are here to deliver a message: run, little demon, quick as you like.

house arainai will make carrion of you yet.

[mellowwhumps]

Whumperless Whump Event Day “everything else”: Domestic hurt/comfort || Accidentally poisoned || ALT PROMPT: Panic Attack || Temporary Amnesia || Fully unconscious

OCs: Cicadas (all) - 3.9K words

masterlist (for them only)

@whumperless-whump-event

——

After an admittedly extended trip, they were more than happy to return to the dull scenery of their ship rather than the vibrancy of the outside. Finishing their commission meant that they should be getting their worth as long as they submitted their evidence, which they most definitely had acquired. 

Right now, their goods were scattered in Lotti’s bag, the contents of the two glass jars clinking within, repetitive noise barely mentioned amidst all the conversations going on.

“Home, sweet home! Or as I read in a book, all aboard!” Kyrai exclaimed, more than rushing up the ramp. A little more hyper than usual, Lotti assessed, but normal in the current situation.

“Kai, this is neither a house nor a train.”

“You’re no fun. I saved you for the umpteenth time and this is how you repay me, Itaph?”

“First of all, you did not. Secondly, yes, actually.” Itaph smiled, as though waiting for something to happen. Of course it would.

Scenario starts: Kyrai gets a little annoyed, the conversation continues until shutdown time and the bi-weekly game night is utterly obliterated for the week. Still a joyous activity, though. Easy enough to assess.

Why wasn’t it, though? Lotti could barely come to any comprehensible conclusion about anything, at that very moment. It was as though their strength was being sapped out of them, which was…odd. She had just replenished her energy reserves a few days ago, which meant she wouldn’t need to do so again for at least half a month more. 

No warnings were showing on visuals. Nothing was wrong. Resume normal operations.

Lotti hurried to the ship’s control room, placing a hand on the touchpad. It should have been manually done, but that was the advantage of having her around, she supposed. She could see where every bit of current was linked to, and hence could divert and control it through her own system, or sap it completely out. The ship took flight with little problem apart from the heated commotion in the main quarters, because god forbid the crew ever sit down without issue. 

She triggered the notification for them to unbuckle their seatbelts after assessing the safety of doing so. The scenery in front of her was barely a blur, but they should be in decent range out of the planet. It was fine. 

The blare of some siren sounded in their head, piercing yet silent. She took a moment to glance around for the source of the noise. Just that small movement seemed to make the ship spin loops around her. Not a moment later, her visuals fully shut down, the world seeming almost darker than the endless space outside. 

Blinded, but she was the pilot. She couldn’t…She had to…she had to…

———

The ship lurched forward, throwing everyone askew. Zyx got up with a groan, rubbing her head as she fervently voiced some choice words. Hitting the wall was never a good start to any trip. 

Sighing, she stumbled her way to her feet, taking a quick survey of everyone. Nobody appeared to be harmed too badly, so no matter. It’s a short ways to the cabin room, barely five steps away from her current location. The place wasn’t that big.

“Idiot’i, what in universes are you doing, drive the damn ship properly!” The door was slammed open with little care. The person in front of her barely moved in response. As a matter of fact, she wasn’t sure the controls were being used.

Autopilot indicator. Not on.

“Um. Lotti?” She stepped closer, pressing a series of keys to toggle that option just in case before checking in. Upon nearing, it was clear the other was responding, though so softly that she had to strain her ears to hear.

“—Can’t.” Her voice was strangely robotic, despite it being decently human-sounding for the short period she’d known the other for. 

“Can’t what? Drive the ship? Did you forget or something, at least remember a few buttons, come on. And look at me, I’m talking to you.” Zyx grasped the other by the sides of her face, promptly flinching away with a hitched gasp. 

She could have cooked a proper meal there with how hot it was, so painfully scorching she only caught a glimpse of Lotti’s single, jet-black eye before her face was obscured by shadow once again. There was no light entering it at all, nothing to indicate functionality.

Zyx slammed her hand onto the intercom button. “Telios! All of you, pilot’s down. I repeat, pilot’s down!” She shouted, perhaps a little louder than needed. For emphasis. 

Almost immediately, the others rushed into the room, finally followed by Telios lugging the toolbox with them, panting as they stopped to catch their breath.

“What's going on?” Aelya asked first.

“Dunno. Critical malfunction or something. Don't touch her, by the way, she's burning up.” Zyx moved away from the chair, leaning against the wall in a pose that could hopefully convey nonchalance. 

Itaph joined her by the side. From her angle, she could see his hands were balled into fists behind his back. Well. She knew what that feeling of uselessness was like as well, she supposed. 

“Iot’i, can you blink for me?” Telios softly instructed, squatting to get a better viewpoint as they put on gloves. 

A second passed, then two. “UNABLE TO COMPUTE,” the voice coming from Lotti's body said, inhumanly uncanny. If the question itself was odd enough, then the answer was worse. Blinking was a simple thing to do, right? At least for her. 

Oh. She saw the problem now. 

Telios was speaking to themself, hands still lingering near Lotti's body but not quite getting close, the toolbox staying shut. Eventually, they put their hands down. “Iot'i, override code 29362, protocol E-two-five AUTO toggle off. I’m really sorry for this, but I’d, um, I’d like to—”

Lotti crashed to the floor and interrupted that thought process, a failed attempt to get out of the chair. Even so, she moved quickly, getting to a sitting position and shifting back. She unsheathed the gun by her side holster, pointing it forward with no clear target apart from the general direction of Telios, who froze in place. 

Lotti was strong. She shouldn’t have to fight blind, fight unfairly. It was quite the sorry sight to her, a person who would have done the same.

“Who are you?” Lotti demanded, “I’ll shoot if you don’t answer.” 

The room went quiet. Threats were very real, coming from her. Kyrai treaded on those glass shards, answering in turn. 

“Kyrai’is. That’s Telios you’re pointing your gun to, so you should put that away…ah, stay calm, please…” The gun shifted to point at them, its edge glinting.

Pause.

The shot fired. It just barely missed, grazing Kyrai’s clothes as it put a dent in the metal wall behind them. First step of asking someone to calm down was never to ask them directly to do so. She learnt that the hard way.

“I don’t know you. I repeat, who are you.” Though Lotti’s hands weren’t shaking, it was obvious that holding the gun up took a lot of effort. Too much. The scent of something burning wafted through the room, not helping the situation in the slightest. Zyx hoped it wouldn’t get worse. 

No use in hoping. She had to do something.

“You don’t remember, right?” She inquired, prompting no answer. “I tried to hit someone you know and you tackled me in our first meeting. In this place, I train with you on every alternate day. Name’s Oryizyx, or Zyx for short. I promise everything that happens next is to help you. You know that when I swear on something, I follow it, and if you can’t recall, now I’m telling ya.”

A wavering of the gun, though now pointing at her. “I…you’re familiar. I recall that happening. I…What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I function properly, I can’t function properly.”

It was terrifying, to know her life was in the hands of someone who could barely aim. It was worse to give anyone the shame of knowing they tried. She didn’t know Lotti’s past, not in the slightest, but she could at least spare her the regret of the present.

“We don’t know what’s wrong, but right now my friend here is going to help. They’ve helped you before, I think. What I do know is that you’re in safe hands. I promise I’ll keep watch, if that isn’t enough. Nobody’s going to try anything funny.”

In that moment, she wasn’t scared. Maybe the other could hear it, maybe some other force of nature showed mercy on both of them.

“…Alright.” And then, even more hesitantly as she lowered her gun, “I trust you.”

Job done. But that was merely the simplest part. 

Telios whispered a few things into her ear, instructions she could barely process amidst all the foreign terminology. She tried her best to relay it through voice, the typical way of using excessive gestures to get her point across rendered useless.

“…So. In short, just shut your systems fully down, my friend not-so forcefully drains your energy out, gives you some more, and you wake up fine and dandy. Got it?” 

Guilt was a terrible emotion, something utterly weak and unbefitting of a being like her. She had recollections of that feeling, even past those blurry memories that made up her childhood. 

Right now, it was churning in her being like waves within a stormy sea. There was no guarantee it would end up successful, the weeks of fixing any damaged wires and finding another energy source for Lotti to siphon from, the weeks that would later make hollow gaps in her database. 

It quite reminded her of her old ship being sent for upgrading every once in a while, leaving her vulnerable. Later on, it left Aelya susceptible as well, which was another thing altogether. But that was over long ago.

“Okay…okay.” Lotti relaxed, the gun clattering to the floor in front of her. 

Then, she was gone.

———

Aelyeau was awoken by the shuffling of bed sheets beside him. On any typical day, he’d have been a decently heavier sleeper, but not that day. Not for the past week, honestly; the culmination of a whole list of occurrences.

They asked him to keep watch and he still managed to fail at that. Wonderful.

Better him than anyone else, at least. A certain two people would have fainted on the spot, exaggeration warranted. The amount of times they’d tried to barge into the room was getting unreasonable. 

“Mor-night, Lotti! How’re you feeling?” Aelya asked, hoping his smile didn’t come out as too wide. 

“Systems operational, energy at full capacity. Though, I don’t find myself trusting that now. Mm. I take it that Telios was able to…”

“Wouldn’t be here if they weren’t. The workshop was locked up for ages.”

“How long was this ‘ages’?”

“Approximately two weeks, give or take a few days. I can fill you in—” The door promptly opened. “Never mind. Later.”

The rest of the crew poured into the room, some looking considerably more worn than others. In particular, Kyrai may as well have been dragging the resident mechanic, the way they could barely stand. Lotti stared at him in question.

“You forgot to check on them. You know they don’t sleep with work undone.”

Itaph interrupted. “In all fairness. They started it.”

“I can stay in stasis. The well-being of living things should be prioritised.”

Aelyeau opened his mouth to object, then decisively closed it. Once again, nobody was saying the things that mattered. If he continued it, he was only perpetuating the cycle.

“They were worried about you, Lotti,” he stated, “and Telios wouldn’t tell us anything. Maybe with the victim of your secrets in the room with us, you’d care to explain? I know you could—”

A sharp inhale. “—I’m sorry for using your override code! I shouldn’t be aware of it, I-I just needed you alert because the AUTO system actually doesn’t help at all and you—”

“Slow down. You don’t need to explain that breach, you’re forgiven. My privacy is a topic for another time. Do you understand what happened to me?”

“Um.” Clearly not expecting that, it would seem. Once upon a time, he would have acted the same. 

Telios continued, “A part of your energy reserves was incompatible with your processors, for some reason, so your systems tried to reject it but couldn’t. Which is…odd? You’re meant to accept most types of these things. Which means you got this source from the Outer Sector, which also means it wasn’t something you should have acquired, which…erm, begs the question?”

Aelyeau had the sinking feeling he knew what happened. But, like any rational approach to an inquiry, Lotti saw nothing wrong and spoke. 

“Spare batteries from Oryizyx’s ship.”

Behind the wall, footsteps echoed away. Aelyeau could barely turn the corner of the corridor before gasping for breath, the door to the small training room slamming shut, the lock clicking.

———

It wasn’t hard to see the signs, every single day. Oryizyx was never that angry, never to him. So frustrated. If Aelyeau told her he was the one who caused the demise of her most precious belonging, would she have been enraged at him as well? 

The place he knew she’d spent all those years in. Alone. The only thing she had, apart from some semblance of past memories.

The alternative to him not owning up was this. An inability to take the wheel, forcing herself to only ever resort to violence as an option. And now, when she had to do so, she could only stay uncomfortably quiet. It was either fury or fear. Certainly not this third thing, so foreign to everyone.

Even Kyrai was at a loss, the navigator unable to cooperate with her for directions, only giving the bare minimum. Aelyeau could almost hear the kettle whistling, the lid clattering, froth moments from reaching the top. He’d spent enough time with Itaph, after all. 

Because they were stranded here. Because he stranded her here.

The workshop wasn’t actually locked, but he remembered. He might always remember it. Walking into the room to ask for a small, admittedly unneeded favor; seeing his friend sprawled on the work desk, chest open, a mishmash of wires and exterior connections tangled up. Unmoving, unseeing. Helpless. Almost as if frozen in time. 

He could see why Kyrai never entered, prefering to pace about the common room. It made him want to leave too, the request in his head immediately forgotten.

He was already standing up and taking a step forward before Telios grabbed the hem of his shirt. One gentle tug before promptly letting go, their arms falling by their side, their shoulders tense. 

Gently, he sat down beside her, scooting a bit to get closer and leaning his head on their shoulder. No sound but circuitry humming, the outside quiet even with the door ajar.

He remembers stopping by the galley and finding Itaph, cooking alone as always. Having awoken early that day, he thought they might need some company. They didn’t ask about it, surprisingly, focusing on stirring whatever it was they were making: yet another form of silence. Itaph told him, then. 

When Telios talked about the things they liked, they would be a completely different person altogether. Something cheerful, innocent, confident. There was something bittersweet in his voice, something that told him there was more to it. Aelyeau wasn’t the type to pry further. 

Where was that person now, when there was nobody else to speak to? They were both truths. They were both Telios. The sight beside him, he realised, was the effect of perhaps, everything, or nothing at all. 

This was all it took for them to cry.

He thought about Zyx again, after that.

———

He was banging on the door, his arms hurting, his lungs barely taking in enough air. At some point, his legs had given out, his body now half-leaning against the metal frame.

“Come out, Oryi. Please. Don’t stay in there. You didn’t…it wasn’t…” The hitting of something was his only reply. Every once in a while, there was a muffled noise, before it was back to striking. 

Two weeks. Two weeks of bottling all of this up. He couldn’t choose whether he prefered this or noiselessness, but both were equally bad. He just wanted to help.

Someone was approaching, the clang of metal on metal easy enough to recognize. Lotti stopped beside him, squatting to survey the keyhole.

“Hello. I do not know what mistake I made. I’d like to fix it. The others were unable to convince me to stay in the room.”

Sigh.

“It’s locked—” A click resounded, a strange metal object in the other’s hand. Whatever it was, it worked, the door swinging open with ease. Like a deer caught in headlights, Zyx’s expression was frenzied, a million emotions flashing by at once. 

She was teetering, swaying from side to side, visibly indecisive as to whether to fight or flight. Her entire face was red, sweat trickling down her skin, blood on the knuckles of her hands and smeared on her cheeks. No words were said. Zyx tilted a bit more to the left, imbalanced, one foot leaving the ground as she finally toppled over. 

She never hit the ground. 

Lotti was there in a second, slowly settling her down on the floor. “Belated apologies for not catching you in time when we first met. You’re hurt.” Gasping for air she could barely take in, Zyx trembled. 

“Breathe,” Aelyeau tried, regaining the strength to move to where she was after closing the door behind him. His words fell on deaf ears. What was wrong? This wasn’t just about the battery, he could tell. 

It was awfully quiet.

In space, all their problems were theirs and theirs only. Nobody was going to hear them outside this small place they adapted for themselves. 

She wasn’t breathing, because she didn’t think she could. Zyx had forgotten how to be alive, the months that followed beyond her small little corner of her own lonely universe, the two weeks that dwindled away in not-stasis.

“Hey,” Aelyeau started once again. “We don’t care what you do. You don’t have to hold back. Scream if you want.” 

So, she does. 

It started small. A noise escaped her, a small, stuttered, breathless exclamation. Testing the waters. Lotti let her punch wildly, beating fists on her frame. Too light to have ever done anything of harm; too heavy to not be meaningful. A crescendo, a wave parted in two at its climax as she shouted herself hoarse. 

It was a loud thing, a broken thing, tapering into disjointedly incomprehensible sentences from some bygone language and then words that simply couldn’t come out anymore, voice worn ragged. She could breathe now, after exhausting herself. Tension couldn’t coexist with that.

Zyx pulled her legs inwards, curling up. Clutching at Lotti’s clothes like touch wasn’t enough, grip leaving creases on her cloak. There was no comfort to cold metal, but yet, and yet, Lotti was the closest thing to her, tugging her into her lap. 

It was an easy thing to do, simply being there, and he realised: he must have been that anchor. He still was. Eyes still searching for escape, they landed on him and locked in place, together with the rest of her body. Trying to match his breathing. 

In, out.

———

“I heard you drove the ship,” Lotti mused, tilting her head. The others had gone to get some much needed sleep, it would seem, or possibly another sleep-deprived task. Preferably the former. 

Zyx had separated herself from her after calming down, the three of them sitting in a small little circle, Aelyeau barely paying attention to the conversation as he took out a roll of bandages from its package. He should have gone back to his room, but she understood when this kind of thing was needed.

“You told me you wouldn’t go anywhere near the wheel.” Lotti hoped her voice was enough to convey what she wanted. At her words, the other averted her gaze, a slightly sad smile failing to be hidden.

“Eh. It’s fine, I guess,” she said, shrugging.

“Kyrai’is told me you did a good job at it, for your first time on this kind of ship. Itaph’ri also conveyed to me the chemical makeup of your ship’s battery. They are good adaptations. I will ensure I don’t make the same mistake again. And Telios installed a temperature sensor for me.”

“Good? You joking? I nearly killed you with my stupid project.” A gust of wind swept through the room, brought on by a flap of her wings.

“My calculations conclude that it increases the efficiency of energy supply by 230%. You’re a ‘natural’, if my wordbank is not failing me.”

Aelyeau scoffed, pulling the gauze over Zyx’s hand as she took a sharp inhale, hands still raw. “That’s an understatement. Oryi’s great. You should’ve seen our ship.” A half-hearted shove with her other hand. Lotti could see him biting the inside of his cheek. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. This one’s pretty alright too, isn’t it? Even if the autopilot and navigation systems are pretty…sucky. It’s…very spacious.”

“You want to talk about boosters and stuff, don’t you.” Now, she was glaring daggers at him. “Called it. Ship nerd.”

“The ships at PAGE would be of your interest, I should expect.” 

Not the ones she’d ever been in, but she had the pleasure of testing one, once. There were so many controls and linkages it managed to make even her a little overwhelmed. The Cicada wasn’t too advanced; she found herself thankful at times.

“Mhm.”

“Never seen the interior of one…wait, who said that?” 

Lotti gestured to the doorway where the three other members of the crew stood, Kyrai waving at them too enthusiastically to have ever been asleep. Telios’s face was half buried in their blanket, fluorescent lights indubitably bothersome as they squinted blearily and tried not to trip on the loose folds. The outside of the training room was dark, the lights powered off without any other occupants requiring them.

Itaph ambled in first, squatting down to inspect the bandaged hand, Zyx tugging her arm away from the offending person.

“You tied it too tightly. And you didn’t wash it first.” Blunt as always.

“Oh, enlighten me, almighty one, I am but a lowly peasant,” Aelyeau replied, doing as best of a bow as he could while sitting.

“So I shall.”

Zyx groaned. “I am not the patient here, go away.”

“Lotti’s fine. Your point? Want to overheat like her?” Back and forth, back and forth.

Scene one. The minor wrestling match goes on for a while before Zyx gives in, reluctantly letting Itaph inspect her fully and help. Telios checks up on her one final time while describing the different types of ship-related features and the sheer marvel that battery was, the other listening on. When Lotti finishes compiling one final report internally to prove functionality, Telios has long since been sound asleep. 

Scene two. Aelyeau yawns, resting his head on the palm of his hand, and proceeds to shift himself so the singular blanket covers him, sound asleep. Zyx goes next, of course, attempting and failing to blink away fatigue. Tomorrow, the blanket would be on her instead.

Scene three. Following suit is Itaph, the cold of the floor more comfortable to him than not. Then, satisfied, Kyrai slumps against the other bodies, relaxing.

Scene four. All is quiet. All is well. 

[End log entry, fade to black.]

——

scuffed a/n + analysis (please tell me this works)

[hyaciiintho]

🌸｡*ﾟ+.-giggles cutely as he adds, not one, but 3 ace attorney muses to his list- (◕‿◕✿)

[quibbs126]

Okay because my mind’s still on the subject, I have a bit of a weird question, but I just want an answer

So like, my favorite type of drama in series is usually familial drama, most often ones between parents and their children. And also usually, those dramas that I love are specifically between father and son

And now I’m wondering, what are parent-child dramas/dynamics that involve a female character usually like? As in, mother-son, father-daughter, or even mother-daughter? And additionally, are they as interesting as father-son dynamics? Because I feel like I don’t see nearly enough of them, or at least, they never give me that same amount of intrigue or they just aren’t as focused on

By which I mean specifically in my context, would they be interesting in an action based series? I have a particular taste, namely that I like my series (mostly this applies to shows, I’m a bit more flexible with games) to be more action focused, or at least have some fantastical elements to it, or else I don’t care. I’m not interested in soap opera kind of drama, I want something that would fit in an action based show

Sorry, again this is probably a weird request (and to be honest I really don’t expect answers, posts of mine like these usually get little to no attention), but it’s on my mind. I feel like I see so many interesting father-son dynamics and conflicts, but I never see one that involves a woman, at least not when it comes to parent-child dynamics, and not ones nearly as interesting

[puthyflapps]

Swifties prove everyday that they’re the dumbest people on the internet and that’s really saying something cuz I’ve dealt directly with blarkes

[asthe-crow-flies]

naturalness/unnaturalness in Lolina: Origins by R L Hughes

i could write a whole essay about this, but its almost finals, so this is what you're getting