#but it wasn’t enough so i had to use a red filter too
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asthe-crow-flies · 11 months ago
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naturalness/unnaturalness in Lolina: Origins by R L Hughes
i could write a whole essay about this, but its almost finals, so this is what you're getting
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ohdeerfully · 8 months ago
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I just read one of your works with Alastor ears and KAKAISKSNSMSDHJSJ IT WAS ADORABLE, can you write one about the reader finding out Alastor has a tail and he's all flustered and nervous about it because well HES THE RADIO DEMON HES SCARY and he can't be scary when his tail wags when the reader praises him (MAKE IT WHOLESOME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)
HELLOOO I LOVE ALASTOR TAIL!! tail + more sleepytime = deadly fic combo THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST!
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Silky Fur
alastor x reader (comfort/fluff) TW: none? join my discord!
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After a year of being together, you and Alastor had fallen into a rather steady nightly routine, though sometimes he was too busy with Satan Knows What and would leave the hotel and you wondering if he would come back to you for the night. When this happened, you often didn’t see him till the next morning—or, even the afternoon.
Lately, that “sometimes” had turned into every night. For the past week. And it was starting to make you feel… kind of shitty, you couldn’t even lie to yourself. You spent so many hours reasoning and making excuses for him—he was an Overlord, after all. No wonder he was so busy! Plus, you just so happened to fall into his life; you shouldn’t expect him to just give up his duties for you.
You looked at the ceiling, arms spread out on either side of you as you tried to convince yourself to stop feeling bad for the sixth night in a row. You missed him next to you, and started to find it harder and harder to get to sleep without his company. You craved him, and you wondered if he craved you in the same way—if he even missed you.
You sat up with a groan after a few more minutes, letting your feet dangle off the side of the bed. It was pointless, you decided, just laying down doing nothing. If you couldn’t sleep, you might as well go do something productive. You threw on a hoodie and made your way down the long corridor, and then down the steps.
This late in the night, the sky had an eerie red glow. It filtered through the curtains of the large hotel windows, casting long, sharp shadows that made your skin crawl if you looked too long. No matter how long you lived in Hell, you never got used to the unfriendly ambience. You had to remind yourself that you were safe in the hotel. You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your hoodie and looked towards your feet as you walked.
There was some paperwork regarding a couple residents you promised Charlie you would help her process. So, you decided you could get a headstart on finishing them, although you didn’t really see the point in the paperwork itself; it was all just going to be horrible criminal records that Charlie would try desperately to ignore.
You opted for the hotel lobby over the cramped office, spreading out the papers across the low coffee table. It wasn’t very comfortable, but you were glad to at least be out of the room.
You sat for a mind numbing amount of time, only listening to the ticking of a faint clock as you processed the information for the residents. It was times like this that made you want to curse Alastor for refusing to allow any sort of modern technology into the hotel. You get it, of course, with Vox and all—but, man, what you wouldn’t give to just have an easy spreadsheet to type this all into.
If you weren’t tired before, you sure were now. Your eyes drug across the papers, blearily taking in the information. You blinked heavily, trying to rid your vision of the tears of exhaustion. You slumped back with a sigh, the pages loosely held in your hands as you rested your eyes for a moment.
Bad idea.
Almost immediately, sleep overtook you, papers slipping through your fingers and drifting across the floor in every direction as your consciousness faded away.
You woke again when you felt your body jostling, then suddenly lifted. It took a minute to wake up enough to peer through cracked eyelids and see that you were being carried up the hotel stairs. You felt familiar arms cradling your back and legs, and the firmness of a chest that your head rested against.
You didn’t need to look up to know who it was. That staticy feeling in the air and prickling your skin was enough to know. You let your body relax again, but couldn’t seem to catch sleep again.
He hummed a gentle tune as he walked, using his knee to turn the doorknob to your shared room. He pushed it open with his shoulder and walked you in.
You felt the plush sheets of your bed as he sat you down, but you pushed yourself back up into a sitting position to look at him. Stare at him. You hoped he could pick apart your emotions just by the way you glared. If he did, he made no attempt at asking what was wrong, and merely looked back at you with his slightly glowing red eyes and wide grin.
“You’ll hurt your back, falling asleep on the couch like that!” He started to chastise you playfully. He turned his back to you and opened up a drawer against the wall.
“Where have you been, Al,” You asked, ignoring his comment. You looked towards your feet. It was hard questioning him, because he didn’t take much seriously, no matter how serious you felt. There was a lump in your throat as you spoke.
“Busy as usual, my dear,” He replied in a sing-song voice. A quiet jazz tune emanated from the microphone atop his cane. Or, would that make it a radio? Both, probably. He rummaged through that drawer for a moment, before pulling out a thin, plain shirt and fuzzy pajama pants.
He walked back over to you, and you noticed the way his eyes flicked across your face, examining your expression. Still, he said nothing. You’d like to think he felt guilty, and didn’t want to admit it—but, truly, you doubted it. He wasn’t one for guilt, after all.
“I’ve been pretty lonely for a week, you know,” You said, folding your arms. “I’d at least like a better explanation.”
You allowed your arms to fall when he pulled at your elbows. You lifted them above your head as he gingerly gripped the edges of your hoodie and pulled it off. He quickly replaced it with the shirt he had grabbed earlier. He followed similar motions with your pants.
As angry as you were, you appreciated intimate moments like this with him. Moments so close, so vulnerable and bare, but still comfortable and sensitive. It was weird, with him being the Radio Demon and all.
“Maintaining turfs and deals is exhausting work, ma moitie, and there’s a few souls that haven’t been keeping up with their side of our bargains,” Alastor explained rather indifferently. Though, you could tell by the strain in his smile and the clipping in the radio static that he was trying his best to be delicate and honest—as possible as that is with Alastor.
“Just– tell me something next time, at least, ‘kay?” You felt embarrassed by the practically begging tone in your voice, but Alastor didn’t seem to notice.
“I suppose it is wrong for a gentleman to leave his lady questioning,” Alastor joked. He meant it, though, and he carefully smoothed your hair in an attempt at comfort.
He stepped away from you, and you frowned at the sudden space. The frown was quickly replaced by a wide smile when you noticed Alastor removing his sharp coat and carefully hanging it by the door.
What a treat, you thought, as you watched him discard the layers of his outfit. Your mouth fell open when he turned his back to you.
“You have a tail?” You asked. Alastor���s ears twitched back for a moment, stiff.
Clear as day, right in front of your eyes, was a tail you had somehow never seen before. Delicate, fluffy, and red with black—just like his ears. You couldn’t stop the stunned laugh that escaped your mouth.
“Regretfully, I do,” Alastor responded. He quickly turned back to face you. His nose was scrunched in disdain and his lips were curled in a frustrated smile. “Don’t talk about it. To anybody.”
You laughed again and quickly beckoned him towards the bed. He complied and sat down next to you. He had noticeably sat in such a way that his waist was angled to keep his tail out of sight. 
You pouted at him, wordlessly motioning towards what you both knew you wanted.
He narrowed his eyes at you. “I’m not a pet, nor a toy,” He said roughly. The static in his voice was heavy. You knew he was embarrassed, and that made your grin all the wider. It probably rivaled his own harsh smile.
“I’ll never, ever, ever ask again, ever,” You promised, holding out your pinky. Alastor’s eyes rolled at the motion. Alternatively, he held out his palm for you to shake.
You eyed his hand, then looked back up to him. You jerked your pinky towards him, urging him to take it instead. You weren’t about to actually bind your promise in a real deal. You knew in, like, a week you would probably beg him to see his tail again. 
“How incredibly childish,” He sighed. Still, he curled his hand into a fist and connected his sharp pinky with your own. “I won’t forget about this.” He threatened.
“Yeah, yeah, show me the goods,” You said with a sly smile. Alastor stared at you for a few seconds, narrowed his eyes, and roughly twisted his waist so that his tail turned towards you. He kicked his leg up and over the other, and folded his arms all sassy-like and impatiently waited for you to finish your very important mission.
You smiled gratefully, and gingerly settled your hands on the tail. It was so incredibly soft. As much hatred he seemed to hold for the thing, Alastor obviously took great care in the fur, keeping it silky smooth and combed. 
It seemed sensitive, and you noticed how his ears twitched and turned in response to your touch. His eyes were cast away from you, and his brows were furrowed. Was he blushing? No, probably a trick of the light.
“Your tail is super soft, Al,” You complimented. “Probably the best in all of Hell.”
“Are you quite finished,” He asked through gritted teeth, his eyes clenched shut. His own body betrayed him, though, as his tail wagged at you slightly. You held in a squeal of delight at the sight, knowing he would probably leave you right then and there. However, you had been at it for a few minutes and didn’t want to push your luck any further. You sighed in response, and removed your fingers from his tail. 
“I guess, for now,” You said playfully. This elicited a sharp look from the Radio Demon.
“For forever,” He claimed. “We shook pinkies.” 
You managed to hold in the laugh from his words. It was impossible to take him seriously as he said that, especially as he sat with a tail on full display and ears quirked backwards in embarrassment.
You yawned, opting to stop responding to him. You tugged at the hem of his shirt as you fell back into the mattress, and he easily let himself fall alongside you. He was settled next to you, and you practically magnetically attached yourself to him. He was stiff for a few minutes, but slowly unwound and relaxed next to you.
It didn’t take long at all for you to fall asleep. With the familiar heat and weight of his body in the mattress next to you, you were comfortable again for the first time in a week. The feeling of Alastor’s nails playing through your hair was the final straw as a deep sleep erased your senses.
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cloudcountry · 4 months ago
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just realized i NEVER posted this to tumblr??? HELLO??? if it wasn't for ao3 this shit would have been lost media because i literally cannot find it in my google docs??? HELP???
ANYWAYS!! WELCOME TO WHAT THE TWST BOYS LEFT YOU WITH AFTER YOU BROKE UP
its bittersweet. you guys broke up on good terms. post-formatting auburn here and omfg what was i THINKING this shit HURTED. OW. CRITICAL HIT I NEED A HEALER. FUCK.
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Riddle Rosehearts leaves you with an appreciation for learning, a strong sense of awe at the bookshelves lining the walls of NRC’s library. He leaves you with a pen, tucked at the bottom of your backpack that you forget about until a late night study session. You find it and giggle, remembering the time he gave it to you when yours ran out of ink, and you begin to take notes with the red-rose ink.
Trey Clover leaves you with a sense of nurture. You pick up cues from people that you never would have seen before and know exactly how to act, and it isn’t until you find yourself “babying” Ace that you step back and laugh. Of course Trey rubbed off on you, he always was taking care of you with nobody to help out him.
Cater Diamond leaves you with extensive knowledge of camera angles. When you’re taking pictures with your friends or just you, it's like you know exactly which filter would look best with every shot. Sometimes you’ll stumble upon a filter you only ever used on his pics, and you’re filled with a bittersweet happiness. Simple photo editing holds so many memories, and you can only hope he’s making new ones, too.
Deuce Spade leaves you with a motivation to protect yourself. When you started dating him all that time ago, he insisted on giving you some form of self defense lessons just so you could protect yourself. He made you more confident, even if he never knew it. You’ll always be thankful for the way he unknowingly made you stand up straighter, like you were proud to be yourself.
Ace Trappola leaves you with a lighter soul. He’s always been a goofy person, and you know full well that he’s never changed. He made you way more optimistic just by dealing with things the way he did, always being true to his heart no matter who he was speaking to. You always admired that about him, and it made you feel like you could be more like yourself even when he wasn’t there anymore.
Leona Kingscholar leaves you with a piece of his pride. He always told you to keep your head up especially when you’re scared half to death. You find yourself using his advice every time you face a situation you’d rather not be in, and slowly conquer everything that used to freak you out. You finally glow with the pride that you know he would have been so proud of if he was still with you, but you’re starting to think that maybe he’s proud of you anyway.
Ruggie Bucchi leaves you with a determination to constantly fight for better. You need to make the best of your circumstances, being transported to a world where you’re powerless with nothing but the shirt on your back. He’s taught you to be crafty and resourceful, and to never let yourself be taken advantage of. You can’t thank him enough...and really, you can’t anymore, but that’s okay.
Jack Howl leaves a carefully planned school year in his wake. You find yourself planning out your day, little events scribbled into your calendar and schedules created in the margins of your notebook. Jack had always reminded you of things and you wanted to let him know how much you valued his efforts to keep you on track, so you started writing down his schedules too. It isn’t until you flip back through your notebook to find older notes that you see “Track and Field Meet - 5pm” and feel a pang in your heart.
Azul Ashengrotto leaves you with a ton of home-economics knowledge. Long after you two have broken up, you still find yourself checking on your monthly expenses and tweaking your meal plans, and it isn’t until you’re laying in bed one night that you realize you wouldn’t be nearly as efficient as you are now if it wasn’t for your previous sweetheart.
Jade Leech leaves you with a fascination for the world around you. He took things that you didn’t think twice about and twisted them into beautiful sights, and you never quite looked at them the same way. It’s not a bad thing, it’s quite the opposite, actually. Your world has never been more beautiful, even if the boy that opened your eyes isn’t there to see it with you.
Floyd Leech leaves you with a restless need to do something. Sometimes, during your down time, you’ll set down your phone and start pacing around your room, wondering why your legs just can’t seem to sit still. Then something clicks—Floyd used to barge into your dorm and dance with you at random intervals, but he doesn’t do that as much anymore. Laughing to yourself, you slip on a coat and decide to take a walk—anything to get the fidgeting out of your system.
Kalim Al-Asim leaves you with a brighter smile and higher patience. You’d always had to chase after him on whatever misadventure he decided to go on that day, apologizing to Jamil with a wobbly smile on your face once the day was done. Kalim never failed to make things brighter, even your breakup. You two still hang out sometimes, but you aren’t as close as you used to be, even if the memories of your adventures remain.
Jamil Viper leaves you with some of his best recipes. It may seem silly or insignificant to anyone else, but you know exactly how much time he spent cooking and baking for Kalim and his entire dorm on a daily basis. He even found time to bring you and his club snacks occasionally. You still know how to make his favorite curry, and if a recipe calls for dates you scratch them out from the ingredients out of habit.
Vil Schoenheit leaves you feeling beautiful. He never once looked at you wrong, whether you had just woken up or had gotten into another mud fight with Grim or if you were wearing a swimsuit. There was nothing but love in his gaze and a reminder to keep your head up on his tongue, because in his eyes you were precious. Because to Vil, you were unapologetically beautiful (and you still are. You always will be.)
Rook Hunt leaves you with an eye for detail. After picking up on everything you did and telling you about every habit he examined, you became keenly aware of your habits and how to manage them. You’re far more observant when it comes to your own self care, and you know you wouldn’t be as diligent if it wasn’t for the insistence of your ex.
Epel Felmier leaves you with a love for nature. You’re hyper aware of how long it takes apple trees to grow and what you can do to help them along. You whisper to your plants now and sing little songs to them and you water them. Your friends have even started coming to you for pointers, and despite the fact that Epel isn’t your partner anymore, you refer them to him automatically.
Idia Shroud leaves you with an absurd amount of techy knowledge. With all the gadgets Ramshackle has because of him, you’re thankful he took the time to explain how they worked. The gifts he made for you almost make the fact that he had to end things with you because of his...family business and that you’ll likely never see him again easier to swallow.
Malleus Draconia leaves you with a greater love for the night sky. You had a person to share the sight of the stars with for once, someone who loved looking up at them just as much as you did. You can still feel the chill of his hand over yours as he reached for it, holding it like you were the most precious treasure of all. Now, when you look up at the stars, you feel a pain of longing in your chest. You miss him.
Lilia Vanrouge leaves you with knowledge of the worlds you’ll never see. You find yourself drawing parallels between this world, your world, and the mystical places Lilia used to talk about. Even Trein has been impressed by the knowledge you’ve displayed in his essays despite not being from this world, and you can only force a laugh.
Silver leaves you with a safety net, something you can use to calm down whenever. His childhood lullaby. He sang it for you time and time again when you were having trouble sleeping in an unfamiliar place when your anxiety got a bit too much. Whenever you have a nightmare now, you find yourself humming the old Briar Valley tune, in hopes that it will give you some comfort.
Sebek Zigvolt leaves you with a greater appreciation for reading (and a pile of bookmarks tucked in an old leather box he presented when he started “courting” you.) You still find yourself exiting Ramshackle on the weekends, and heading to that very same tree you two used to read under. There’s a part of you that wants to look for him, to check and see if he’s also heading to your tree, but you don’t.
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moondirti · 1 year ago
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animalic (2)
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← chapter 1 // series masterlist
pairing: Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader rating: mature word count: 2.2k summary: a game of cat and mouse warnings: enemies to lovers, canon typical violence, guns, death, blood, angst, no use of y/n (reader is referred to as ‘wraith’) notes: remember when i said part 2 would take a while? i lied. the next chapter is fun as all hell so i wanted to churn this one out as build up. teehee i hope yall like it regardless
He let you go. 
He let you go. 
No matter how Miguel tries to vindicate it, he rounds back to the same conclusion. You weren’t subtle, regardless of what you’d have yourself believe; he’d seen the calculations glaze over your eyes the instant he pinned you to the wall. He knew what was coming, how your heavy breathing was a cover for the clicks of his watch – of which he heard regardless – and your squirming a diversion from the movement of your busy fingers. He had a goddamn plan too, a fail safe in case you decided to attack instead of listening to reason. 
(One he’d settled on for the duration of your lost consciousness, for knowledge that you would.)
So, there is no dismissing it. You’re obnoxious and lack precision, and he could have had you halfway back home by now, which isn’t the case – because he let you go.  
The frigid air of his office thrums with irritation, weighing down on his shoulders until they collapse inwards, his hands coming up to rub the weariness off his expression. HQ has been unsettlingly quiet as of late – occupied by only a fraction of its regular population – and the peace worries him. History betrays its status as the precursor to havoc; lulls in the past have fooled him into believing his mission was drawing to a close, only for another anomaly, another mess, to spin that naivety on its head. 
You were one such instance. A year ago, you’d popped up on an Earth that wasn’t your own, and didn’t leave until you’d drawn all that you could from it. It’s an empty husk now, lacking land to propagate its agriculture. Thousands – millions – dead, from the flap of a butterfly’s wings.
Parasite. A fucking parasite who just won’t quit. 
The mantra surges through him, festering from the base of his gut to the cap of his tongue. It bursts out with a roar right then, the sudden violence finding monitors thrown across the room, smashed to bits of orange light and static. It does nothing to sate him, though, the heady anger filtering out like molasses. His back hunches as he draws in thin breaths. He doesn’t count, nor does he attempt to. Instead, he looks for his only real decompressor. 
The video of Gabriella flickers at him from a distant floor, the transparent tablet wrecked with four distinct claw marks. He exhales, pulling it back to the platform with an extended web. 
“Boss,” 
His mija smiles toothily down at his digital self, winding her small palms in his hair for balance as he carries her. He recalls helping with hers, tying it back into shabby ponytails the mornings before a big game. How she wouldn’t let anyone fix it afterwards, not until her elastic slipped off the ends and her bangs hindered her playing. And she’d run to him, whenever, to get it fixed again. 
“Boss.” 
Her jokes resonate still, echoing laughter from when she’d poke fun at how bad he’d gotten at it, amused by the sudden decline in ability. To Miguel, it was one more reminder that the life he led wasn’t his own. 
“Oh Miguel!” 
So much for calming down.
“Lyla.” He looks up at the virtual assistant, her corporeal character a little fuzzy around the edges. She chooses to ignore his dissociative episode, rather projecting a map of the arachno-humanoid poly-multiverse, a point off centre highlighted in red. His heart skips. Placing the tablet down on his desk, he takes a step closer to survey the pin.
“Managed to track the Wraith down using the day pass you’d given her. Currently stationed on Earth-15, no signs of jumping anytime soon.” 
Parasitic, and stupid enough to forgo destroying a potential tracking device.
Lyla snickers, seemingly able to read the sneer pulling at his cheeks. 
“Seems like she’s afraid of glitching more so than she is you, Boss.” 
His glare snaps to meet her heart shaped sunglasses. 
“Funny.” His assistant shrugs at his admonishment. “Pull up the anomaly cam.” 
A second later, your figure blinks into sight. 
You’re crouched atop a tiled floor, the grout darkened to near-black with grime. In front of you lies a sparse spread of medical supplies; gauze, scissors, and miniature packets of disinfectant wipes. Miguel can’t help but wonder what you think you’re doing, treating your wounds in a bathroom as unsanitary as the one that cramps you. Graffiti littered walls, nests of used paper towels in every corner. You spring up to wash your hands after undoing the old bandages that hugged your forearm, but all that comes out is an inconsistent splutter of grey water. 
His chest twinges, a tug of intrinsic sympathy playing against him. It worsens at the sight of your injury, the consequences of his talons’ assault on you, the puncture points brimming yellow and blackening closer to their middles. He can’t tell whether it’s gotten any better, whether you were good and had it treated by a professional, or made the common mistake of relying too much on your enhanced healing. 
“Gave her a harsh gig there. You always that rough?” 
“When I need to be.” Miguel murmurs, skimming over the conspicuous innuendo.
“Right. Until it comes to finishing the job, that is.” And, despite the offence taken to Lyla’s jest, he can hardly disagree. Newfound resolve hardens within him, sympathy fleeting at its failure to deter him. 
“Set coordinates for Earth-15.” He rumbles, gesturing to his wrist as he walks away. The assistant does as she’s told, shrinking back to an icon on his watch. While waiting for the portal to configure, Miguel cocks his head, taking one last look at your oblivious form. 
“I won't let her get away this time.” 
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“Put the money in the fucking bag or she gets it!”
Of all the spider-people you’ve met, you don’t believe any have been the hostage in an armed robbery situation. You imagine that they’d come in at the last minute, valiantly swinging through the window, accentuating their arrival in a shower of shattered glass. They’d demand the money be remitted, and all’s well that ends well. But – of course – there’s got to be a first for everything; your record just so happens to be the lamest of the bunch. 
The masked man presses the gun further into your temple, bursting capillaries until the spot starts to ache with a raw tenderness. His body wraps around you, other arm waving wildly outwards, extending a plastic bag to the poor soul behind the register. You take a great gulp of air, staring at the buzzing fluorescents above, and pray. 
Lord, now would be a really good time to phase out. 
“P-Please, leave her be.” The owner throws a potful of crumpled fives into the bag, as if to punctuate her plea. The man is dismissive in face, urging her for more, shaking the receptacle with comedic insistence. You purse your lips, blinking up at the ceiling once more. 
Or make this more exciting, at the very least. 
“And you!” You’re jolted out of being a passive observer, rattled when the man diverts his attention to you. His gun thrusts harder against your forming bruise, adding to the list of damages sustained in the past week alone. You peer at him from the corner of your eye. His roll incredulously, pointing to the bill in your grip. “The twenty!” 
“Is that a real gun?” 
“Wha– Of course it’s a real fucking gun! Put the money–” 
“In the bag. I know.” 
His hold on you slackens, expectant. By contrast, you ball your fist and punch him square in the nose. The hit sends him reeling farther than it should for the amount of space you had in winding back, the feat prompting a deluge of pride to wash over you. It’s bolstered when he drops the spoils in the process, toppling into a rack of chips and cup noodles that consequently cushion his fall. 
Your first save. 
Filled with bravado, you snatch and pass over the bag to the cashier. 
“Here you go, ma’am.” 
But she doesn’t look at you. Rather, her stare remains trained on the man you’d just disabled. Nerves maturating, you join her line of vision, only to be met with the barrel end of his weapon. You catch the vicious conclusion in the way his hand trembles, veins protruding from the pale skin, supplying courage to the finger hovering right over the trigger. You process it all, aware of the ways it can end, at how fast it can sour.  
Before you can so much as act on it, he shoots. 
Your skin prickles. 
You’ve heard stories of people who don’t realise when a bullet strikes them. Their bodies take time to catch up to the pain, cells stuck in paralytic shock, stimulus signals held somewhere between the existential and a will to delay the inevitable. You think you understand what they mean, your mind dragging in a rare bout of silence. Things slow, for a perennial moment, and you wonder how fast the blood loss will kill you.
You can do nothing but follow the man, who scrambles to a stand, letting him take the money – with whatever else – and watching as he runs out onto the street. 
And even still, the pain hasn’t caught up to you. 
Looking down, the case starts piecing itself together. No blood sticks to your shirt, the fabric still as pristine as it had been upon purchase. You check your arms, then your legs, then reach up to smooth over your head. Nothing. You’re okay.
The relief is short-lived when the morbid sound of gurgling meets your ears. Slowly, you turn, bracing for what you knew you’d find.  
The scene unfolds with a distressing intensity as crimson liquid blooms from the cashier’s throat. The torrent is never-ending, every gush of ichor bringing forth a new momentum, splattering its macabre scene over the register. Her eyes gloss over with an unshed panel of tears, and she looks to you for help. 
She looks to you. 
(You don’t admit it to yourself, but it’s the novelty of that fact that pushes you into action.) 
With a swift leap over the counter, you intercept her mid-fall, carefully cradling her weight as you guide her down to the ground. Scanning your surroundings, you search for a means to call for help. A rotary phone catches your recognition, situated a ways off by the back exit. Despite the inconvenient placement, it stands as your sole option at this stage.
In a split second decision, you sling your backpack off, hastily rummaging through its contents. You find solace in your hoodie, gathering its folds to tightly bunch it up, converting it into a makeshift compress.  Knowing she lacks the strength to apply pressure to the wound, you move to wrap it around her neck, hopeful that it’s tight enough to stem the bleeding while leaving enough room for air. 
Urgency fuelling your every step, you leave her side for a fleeting moment, dashing over to call an ambulance. Your medical knowledge only extends so far, and some selfish part of you itches to pass on the responsibility to someone more competent. It’s an impulse that derives from an innate acceptance, that resoundingly insightful voice in your head telling you it's too late. That she’s already dead, had been from the moment the bullet – that was meant for you – missed. 
Perhaps your help isn’t really helpful at all, then. Perhaps it’s your attempt to wash your hands of the sin. You think back to the grey water in the bathroom, how exasperated you had been at your inability to stay clean. 
(You don’t think you’ll ever rid yourself of this.) 
“911, what’s your emergency?” The question crackles through the receiver.
The bell by the entrance jingles, the chime accompanied by heavy footsteps. You press yourself against the wall, the concept of the robber returning filling you with such dread that you feel your stomach tighten and congeal. It’s a heavy lump, icy cold and slippery, and it seems to weigh a hundred pounds.
“Hello?” The operator says. 
But if it was the man, then he'd have to have changed into a navy and red suit. Somehow, your terror worsens. 
“Hijo de la chingada…” The whisper is barely legible, but the deep baritone is discernible enough to validate the assumption pulled from your brief glimpse. You’d recognise him anywhere. 
Shrinking in on yourself, you cup your palm over your mouth. “Hello,” 
“Ma’am? Can you describe your emergency?” 
“There was an armed robbery at the convenience off sixth and Third. Someone’s hurt.” You hardly register the words as they escape you, eyeing Miguel when he crouches over the lady. You’re propelled back to the conclusion of your last meeting; how his claws tore into you, how his persistence didn't falter until you pressed yourself onto him. 
That kiss. 
He runs a finger over your hoodie-turned-compress, wavering, like he can’t quite place where he’d seen it before. 
Or, maybe he can, for he spins to meet your wide-eyed stare. 
You drop the phone, bolting out the back door, charged on a paroxysm of adrenaline and pure, unadulterated panic.
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chapter 3 →
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gogogodzilla · 13 days ago
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✧ 𝔻𝕒𝕪 𝟙𝟠: 𝐵𝑜𝑑𝑦𝑔𝑢𝑎𝑟𝑑 ✧ 
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【𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑂𝑛 𝐴𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑙 】
╰› 〖 𝑆𝑦𝑛𝑜𝑝𝑠𝑖𝑠 〗: If there's one thing for certain about Arthur Morgan, he's going to take more than what he's paid for
╰› 〖 𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 〗: nsfw 18+, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, infidelity (reader cheats on their husband w/ arthur), medium/low honor arthur
✧ 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑘𝑡𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑚.𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ✧ 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑛 𝑎𝑜3 ✧ 𝑤𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑝𝑎𝑑 ✧
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The noise of the party drifted up the stairs and filtered into your bedchamber. Not that you were paying it much mind, but it proved to be effective in covering up the sounds of furniture scraping across the wooden floors. 
You’d been lucky enough that your husband was drunk enough to not notice your disappearance, but you knew the clock was working against you. Each rut of Arthur’s hips against yours brought you closer and closer to ecstasy. The air was filled with the sounds of skin slapping against slick skin and Arthur’s soft grunts. 
You wondered how your plan could have gone so wrong yet so right. The party was meant to be a distraction— something to cover up the sounds of you leaving this damned marriage far behind you. Your packed bag still stood neatly by the bedroom window, and it consumed your gaze from your bent-over position on your bed. 
It was the same bed you’d shared with your husband for years now. He was a rich man, and the perfect match in your parents’ eyes. You were content, for a while. However, contentedness could only take you so far, and you quickly grew bitter, exhausted of tumbling into the same routine day after agonizing day. 
You’d nearly jumped for joy the day Arthur Morgan came into your life. It was a warm summer night, and the bones of your corset dug into your ribs as you watched over the main hall as people filed in for your husband’s monthly card game. It was mostly a chance for him to flaunt his wealth and take even more money from those who could afford to lose it. 
Your husband sauntered over to you and pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek as a greeting. Your eyes drifted to the man lingering behind him. His hat hung low and his eyes piercing blue eyes scanned the hall. He was rugged, with an air of quiet intensity that made you want to avoid his gaze. He looked as solid as the old oak tree in your backyard, and your eyes trailed over his broad shoulders. His hulking appearance contrasted sharply with the lavish furnishings of your great hall— the deep red leather of his vest blending in with the black cotton of his shirt, and the dark leather of his boots caked in a fine layer of dust. 
“My love, I’d like you to meet Arthur Morgan. He’s going to be watching over you tonight while I entertain our guests,” your husband said, his voice casual.
He was mentioning the last time you’d attempted to escape. You’d been too eager and didn’t wait until your husband was too inebriated to wonder where his darling partner had run off to. You wouldn’t make that mistake again. 
Arthur took his hat off, revealing tousled dark blonde hair that fell messily around his brow. Your heart nearly skipped a beat as those blue eyes of his caught yours— sharp and clear with an edge of caution. 
“Ma’am,” Arthur said with a slight bow of his head, his voice low and gravelly. His politeness was clumsy, almost as if he wasn’t used to formalities. 
You curtsied in response, dipping low just like you were taught. 
Your husband smiled, “Arthur, here, is the best money can buy.” He then turned to face Arthur and took your hand in his. “My wife here likes to wander, Mr. Morgan. I trust you’ll keep a close eye on her,” your husband said as his hand squeezed yours. 
Arthur’s eyes scanned over your form, and you suddenly felt vulnerable under his scrutinizing gaze. He crossed his arms, and you couldn’t help but notice how his muscles strained under his shirt. 
“Yes, sir,” Arthur answered, his gaze remaining glued to yours, “they won’t get far.” 
Arthur had kept his promise. You’d nearly jumped out of your skin as he grabbed your bicep and turned you around to face him. Your suitcase was clutched tightly in your hand and the window was cracked open enough for you to slip through. You’d removed the frilly dress you’d donned earlier and opted for something more inconspicuous. 
He tsked his tongue as he loomed over you, a smirk working its way onto his features. You hadn’t even heard him come in. 
“What do we have here?” he questioned. You shrunk slightly in front of him, trembling. “This big house and everything you could ever want not enough for you?”
“I didn’t want this,” you spat, attempting to wrench yourself out of his grasp. 
He chuckled, tightening his grip on your arm, “And what is it you do want, hm?” 
“Something more,” you murmured as your heart raced in your chest. 
He was quiet for a moment as he looked down at you. He tugged your suitcase out of your hand and set it next to the window.  
“Is he bad to you?” Arthur questioned, his voice husky and low. 
You shook your head, your cheeks flaring. It seemed imprudent to leave this privileged life you lived, but your heart yearned for more. 
“Is he,” Arthur paused, his eyes flickering to your bed before meeting yours. “Is he good to you?” 
You swallowed hard, shaking your head. “I’m not… satisfied.” 
A slow, roguish grin formed on Athur’s lips. “I can fix that.” 
The next few moments were a clash of teeth and lips as Arthur pulled you closer, wrapping his strong arms tightly around you. His lips moved fervently against yours, and you’d never felt need like that course through you. Your entire being hummed with desperation as he touched you, his calloused hands grabbing and kneading whatever he could reach of your soft skin. 
You moaned against his lips as he pulled the skirts of your dress up and ran a hand over your thigh before moving upward to caress your clothed heat. You leaned your head back as he teased you through your undergarments. 
“Think you can be quiet while I show you what a real man feels like?” he questioned low against the shell of your ear. 
You nodded your head quickly, too focused on what his hands were doing under your dress to forge a proper reply. 
“Good girl,” he grunted, and it sent a jolt straight to your core. 
You let out a squeal as Arthur bent down and picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder. His grip was firm on the back of your thighs as he made his way toward your bed. 
He threw you onto your bed and flipped you over, maneuvering your body like it was nothing. He grabbed your hands and pinned them behind your back. “Keep ‘em there, darlin’,” he ordered as he let them go. You obediently stayed put as your heart pounded in your chest. 
His hands roamed over the plush of your ass as he hovered over you. “Pretty little thing with a man who can’t please her,” he hummed as his hands trailed up your sides. 
He pulled your hips up so your ass was in the air and he kneaded the flesh there. He slid a hand up your calf and then under your dress once more. He lifted your skirts up and over your hips. He dragged his thumb over your clothed core before tangling his fingers in your undergarments and ripping a hole in them, leaving you bare before him. 
He slid a finger through your folds, and you arched your back, preening into his touch. You sunk your teeth into your bottom lip, stifling a moan as he dipped his finger down to tease your entrance. 
The clinking of his gun belt being undone was music to your ears, and you pressed your core against him, whining as the rough denim jeans rubbed against your core. You rested your cheek against the mattress as he freed his weeping cock from his jeans. He stroked it once and then twice before gliding it through your folds, eliciting a breathy moan from you. He gripped the plumpness of your ass as he ground against you, hitting your clit with every drag of his hips. 
He leaned down so his chest was flush against your back. “Such a dirty girl,” he purred, his breath fanning against the shell of your ear, “begging me to fuck you while your husband’s downstairs none the wiser.” 
You whimpered at his words, which went straight to your core, as he teased you. He didn’t give you enough time to answer before he was agonizingly pushing inside you. You groaned at the way he stretched you, and you relished the way he alighted feelings you never knew were possible. 
He nudged your knees further apart, opening yourself up to him further as he began rocking his hips against you. He placed a firm hand on your lower back, keeping you still as his pace increased. 
Each rut of Arthur’s hips against yours brought you closer and closer to ecstasy. The air was filled with the sounds of skin slapping against slick skin and Arthur’s soft grunts. 
You let out a high-pitched mewl as he reached a particularly sensitive spot inside of you, and he leaned forward to cover your mouth with one of his hands. 
He reached his free hand around you to rub harsh circles against your clit. His pace was brutal, but you savored every second of it. You let out a breathy moan against his hand, and shoved your hips back against his, matching his pace. 
With one final stroke of his cock, you were coming undone over his cock. Your pussy gripped him in a vice grip as you rode out your high, and Arthur’s hips stuttered against your own. He came with a strangled groan as his release painted your walls. His cock twitched inside you as he came down from his high, and his hips slowed. 
Within a few moments, he was pulling out of you. You whined at the loss, and he watched as his cum oozed out of you, dripping over your folds. Arthur groaned at the sight. 
You rolled onto your back and looked up at him. He ran a gentle hand over your thigh. 
“Still thinking about leaving?” he questioned.
You shrugged, “I don’t know, are you gonna catch me again?” 
“I’ll give you a five-minute head start this time.”
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koyagifs · 1 month ago
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Hidden Messages
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pairing: san x reader genre: fluff au: idol | friends to lover summary: san had tried confessing through subtle messages but he finally had enough. a/n: i just realized tumblr deleted a few lines and i don't remember them :(. I promise i know english LMAO
──・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ──── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚.────
You laid on San couch, wearing his t-shirt as well as some shorts as Byeol laid on your chest. San had invited you over, saying he'll meet you there after he had finish up a few verses with Hongjoong. As you laid comfortably, San was standing by a flower shop, wondering which one to get for you.
The amount of times San had tried to confess, he had lost count.
As you relaxed on the couch, Byeol curled up on your chest, her soft purring creating a soothing rhythm. The afternoon light filtered through the curtains, casting a warm glow around the room. You smiled, feeling content in this little moment of peace.
San’s playful banter echoed in your mind—how he always teased about bringing you flowers. It was sweet how much thought he put into it, even if he struggled to actually confess his feelings. You could imagine him standing there, deliberating over the vibrant blooms, his brow furrowed in concentration.
What would he pick? Maybe daisies, bright and cheerful, or perhaps roses, classic yet romantic. You chuckled softly, imagining him overthinking the choice as he always did. He’d probably think about what you might like, what would make you smile.
Your thoughts drifted, imagining what it would be like if he finally found the courage to tell you. The way he’d smile shyly, those deep brown eyes sparkling with hope. The anticipation of that moment felt thrilling and terrifying all at once.
Just then, you heard the door click open. San stepped in, a goofy grin on his face, a bouquet of sunflowers in hand. “I figured you could use a little sunshine,” he said, his voice bright and teasing.
You couldn’t help but smile back, your heart racing a bit. “You know me so well,” you replied, glancing down at Byeol, who was now wide awake and curious.
As he approached, you could see the way his cheeks flushed slightly, a hint of nervousness creeping into his demeanor. “I… uh, I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” he started, his voice wavering just a bit.
Your heart skipped a beat. Here it was—the moment you both had danced around for so long. You met his gaze, feeling the weight of the unspoken words lingering in the air, and waited for him to continue.
San took a deep breath, his fingers nervously twisting the stem of the sunflowers. “I’ve been thinking a lot about us,” he said, his voice dropping to a softer tone. “About how much I value our friendship and… how much I wish it could be more.”
The words hung in the air, a mix of hope and vulnerability. Your heart raced as you searched his expression, wanting to convey your own feelings without breaking the moment.
He stepped a little closer, his eyes locked on yours. “I just… I really like you. Like, a lot. And I’ve been too scared to say anything because I didn’t want to ruin what we have.” His cheeks were flushed, the honesty of his confession making him even more endearing.
You felt a wave of warmth rush through you, and a smile broke across your face. “San,” you started, your voice steady despite the excitement bubbling inside. You sat up, moving an upset Byeol as you left the couch. San looked at you nervously, but was soon at ease when you took the flowers from him.
“i knew the whole time," you said, smiling up at him.
San’s jaw dropped in surprise, his cheeks flushing an even deeper shade of red. “Wait, really? You knew?”
You nodded, a playful grin spreading across your face. “Yeah! All those little hints? I might be slow sometimes, but I wasn’t completely oblivious.”
He let out a soft laugh, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I thought I was being so subtle!”
“You were cute about it, but not as subtle as you think,” you teased. “Like the time you kept bringing up that café with the cute flower arrangements. I saw right through you.”
San huffed, " does this mean you like me?"
As you wrapped your arms around San’s neck and pressed your lips to his, the world around you faded away. His surprise melted into warmth, and you felt him lean into the kiss, his hands gently finding your waist.
The moment was electric—sweet and tender, yet filled with the weight of all the unspoken feelings that had been building between you. When you finally pulled away, breathless, you looked into his eyes, which sparkled with a mixture of shock and joy.
“Wow,” he breathed, a grin spreading across his face. “So that’s what you meant by ‘liking’ me.”
You chuckled softly, feeling giddy. “Yeah, I think that qualifies.”
San let out a breathe he didn't realized that he held in, making you giggle. He placed another kiss on your lips, his heart racing as he finally got the girl of his dream.
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redflagshipwriter · 3 months ago
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Mamabat 10 part 2/2
masterpost
Sam craned to listen to secondhand sounds of combat. It was all filtered through Val’s headset, so it was vaguely electronic.
“Up!” Said a female voice. Was that Robin? Sam tried to piece it together. The little one had been Robin, she'd thought. Could have been a boy or a girl. Robin looked around Dani's size. 
Ah, hell. She pushed down the recurring dread that thoughts of Dani brought up. 
Dani was probably fine. She just wasn't answering them because she was fabulously busy in Malaysia or Guam or somewhere else gorgeous and fascinating. She wasn't in one of those labs. They hadn't left her in a lab for a month. Sam’s hands were shaking. She squeezed them hard, angry with herself. Good thing she wasn’t in that fight, she’d be useless like this. Useless!
The percussive sounds of fast, expert violence came through Val's sound system. “Damn,” Val said. “Nice swing.” 
The answer was a feminine laugh. Man, who was that? “Not half bad yourself,” said the unknown girl.
Sam untensed, a little. They didn’t sound stressed. It was probably going fine.
There was a groan. “Spoiler, please,” said Red Robin, in a tone he probably thought was too soft to be overheard. Ha. Val was using Vlad's creepertech, and Vlad was one of the best creeps out there. Sam felt weirdly proud of him for a moment. It bordered patriotism. Their freak was the best freak in the business. Eat your heart out, Batjerk.
“Like you're the only one who can pick up girls on the job?” The girl who had to be Spoiler said. 
Sam snorted. Good luck with that one! Val was spectacularly unavailable. She should know, she had tried. 
“Spoiler, Red Robin, and Robin.” Sam listed aloud for Tucker. “What do we know?” 
“All known associates of Batman, Gotham operatives, estimated active dates are at least a couple years each. Robin is clearly an inherited role, but this current one… been in for two years, I think.” Tucker listed off. “I think Spoiler and Red Robin were both former Robins, that's not too subtle.” 
Sam snorted. Her breath fanned out as visible moisture in the cold night air. 
“Likely older teens or early twenties, both of them. Robin is obviously pre puberty. 13 at the oldest.” 
Val made a subvocal grunt that meant she agreed with Tucker's assessment 
That fit. And she really didn't like it. Sam felt her hackles rise up. What was wrong with Gotham? Her group was all child vigilantes, sure, but they'd had no adult help. They'd also all been 14 or older when they got involved. Except for Dani. God, Dani, please don't be in that building. Sam had to relax her grip on the bazooka handle because she squeezed it so hard that the metal creaked. 
Danny was older now. But she didn't like that this was who he'd ended up with. Sam gritted her jaw hard and tried to keep her temper on a low simmer. She didn't have enough facts to think Batman would put Danny in danger. 
“Clear.” 
“Clear.”
The operation inside seemed to continue smoothly. 
“That should be all the staff members on the premises,” Red Robin said. “First lab, coming up.”
“Behind me.” Batman practically growled the order.
A door opened. Sam held her breath. 
“...Are those samples?” 
Val grunted slightly. Why? What was going on? “Cores,” Val said. “Basically, people who have been injured into a coma. Left like that, they're gonna die slowly. Starvation.” 
“What do we do?” Spoiler cut in. “I mean- what can we do?” 
“Is there a way to transport them?” Val dodged the question. “I don't- yeah, that's good.” 
“Can you provide treatment?” Batman pushed. “Where will you take them?”
Val let out a long, annoyed sigh. “I don't trust you enough to go into the details.”
“Why should we trust you, vixen?” Spat a very young voice.
“Vixen?” Spoiler repeated quietly, incredulously. 
“Robin, you can't say things like that!” Red Robin hissed. “Ow- little asshole.” 
“Enough. Thank you.” Batman cut off the chatter. “Let's clear the facility.” 
They found more cores in the labs. Sam felt her stomach condense tighter and tighter into a knot as they came across research areas time and time again. 
They hadn't taken the GIW seriously enough. They'd thought they were incompetent and funny. How long had scientists been experimenting on captured ghosts here? How many of them had totally withered away? 
“Fuck,” Sam said quietly, and wiped her eyes off with her arm. 
They were clearly finished. No Dani, not unless she was one of the cores rolling around on GIW shelves like she wasn't a person.
Batman and crew came out. She could hear Batman clearly making some kind of call to…. To a Green Lantern, she thought, to pick up the GIW agents. 
Oh. That…
“Probably legit,” Tucker said on the line. He let out a big sigh and his chair clicked when he leaned back, no doubt crossing his arms behind his head. “I guess we should talk to ‘em. Should I come out there?” 
“Yeah, do it,” Sam said. “You want a pick up?” She moved the bazooka from a ready position to rest across her back instead.
Tucker hummed. “That would probably be a little cooler than using my bike.” 
Val snorted, but didn't chime in. Sam dipped back to town and let Tucker climb on behind her. He crouched to hold onto the board with both hands, because he was a sweaty nerd with no balance. 
“The bike might have been cooler,” Sam teased, and then she accelerated hard. She met them back in the field where Batman had landed his plane. As soon as she veered into sight, all of the bats looked at her, clearly ready for a fight.
“Calm down,” Val ordered. “You're all so jumpy.” 
Sam snorted and came to a sharp stop. She braced against Tucker's weight (she knew he'd be jostled.) She aimed her hardest glare at Batman. Fuck everyone else. “Danny said you wanna talk.” 
Behind them, unseen, Val double-checked the straps of a new black bag. Sam had no doubt it was full of helpless cores. 
Batman frowned at her slightly. “...Samantha Manson.” He looked behind her. “And Tucker Foley.” He didn't seem surprised, exactly,  but he didn't seem happy to see them either.
“Old man,” she shot back. “You've got half an hour. But first off, what the hell kinda game are you playing with Danny? Because this-” she waved a hand at his child soldier platoon. “is some bullshit, okay. What's going on?” 
Val shot vertically up with a whoosh of air that blew Spoiler’s hair out. All four bats whirled in time to see her blast off into the distance. 
“Focus!” Sam snapped her fingers. “Why are you here?” 
A muscle twitched in Batman's jaw. “My only intention with Danny is to ensure his safety. I have some concerns about the GIW and about his home situation that I want to look into.” 
Sam scoffed. “Bit late.” She wound some hair around her finger. “They're gone. All of them. You saw what's left of the GIW. The Fentons disappeared the day after the GIW did.” 
She heard the first hint of urgency and upset in his voice when he pressed, “Jasmine Fenton?” 
“Gone.” 
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vanteguccir · 3 months ago
Note
can you make a blurb of chris with his gf that's been feeling very down and has an anxiety attack? (if ur comfy w that)
── ୨୧ !  a blurb where you wake up feeling bad and on the verge of an anxiety attack, but chris is there for you - as he always is
         𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
The morning light filtered softly through the gap under the door, casting a gentle glow across the floor room. Y/N lay in bed, her eyes wide open as she stared at the ceiling. The soft hum of someone - provably Matt - moving gently upstairs did nothing to calm the unease that had settled deep in her chest.
There was no reason for it, no particular trigger she could pinpoint, yet the anxiety was there, creeping into her thoughts and wrapping around her heart like a vice. Her breathing was shallow, her heart racing with a sense of dread she couldn’t quite shake. Her eyes were tired and slightly red from the little to nothing hours of sleep.
Today was supposed to be a good day. She and Chris had planned it out earlier in the week; breakfast at their favorite little café, a stroll through the city streets, maybe a bit of shopping. It was a day they both looked forward to, a chance to unwind and enjoy each other’s company. But as she lay there, tangled in the cotton sheets, the excitement that usually accompanied such plans was overshadowed by a heavy, unexplainable weight.
Chris stirred beside her, his arm draped over her waist, pulling her closer. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on the warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, anything to ground herself. But it wasn’t enough. The anxiety continued to gnaw at her, relentless and unforgiving.
"I should get up." She whispered to herself, carefully slipping out from under Chris’s arm. She moved quietly, not wanting to wake him just yet. He deserved to sleep in a little longer; he had been working so hard lately, filming a lot of different videos with his brothers and creating the new collection of Fresh Love. Maybe if she just kept moving, kept herself busy, she could push the anxiety away.
In the bathroom, she splashed cold water on her face, hoping it would wake her up, snap her out of this spiral. But as she looked at herself in the mirror, all she saw was the fear and tension reflected back at her. Her hands trembled as she reached for the towel to dry her face, her breath coming in short, rapid gasps. It seemed like her lungs never got full enough.
She forced herself to take a deep breath, to calm the storm brewing inside her, but it was no use. The more she tried to suppress it, the more overwhelming it became. Still, she had a day planned with Chris. She couldn’t let this ruin it. She just needed to keep it together, at least until they were out and about, surrounded by the familiar sights and sounds of the city. Maybe then, the anxiety would fade into the background.
She took her time in the shower, letting the warm water cascade over her in the hopes that it would soothe her. But when she stepped out, wrapping a towel around her body, her nerves were just as frayed as before.
She could hear Chris moving around in the bedroom now, probably getting dressed, and she knew she had to put on a brave face.
Y/N took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. As she stepped into the room, the cool air hit her wet skin, causing a shiver to run down her spine. Her hair dripped onto the white towel, and she kept her gaze low, not trusting herself to look at Chris just yet. She could feel the frown etched on her face, the way her chest kept moving too fast, and she prayed that he wouldn’t notice.
But Chris knew her too well. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling on a pair of socks when he looked up and saw her, ready to say his first good morning in that day, but suddenly stopping. His brow furrowed immediately, concern flashing in his eyes. He didn’t say anything at first, just watched her as she moved slowly to the closet, her movements stiff and uncoordinated.
"Baby?" He called softly, but she didn’t respond, too focused on trying to steady her breathing, to keep the tears that were threatening to spill at bay.
Y/N felt the weight of Chris’s gaze as he gently turned her to face him, his hands firm yet comforting on her shoulders. Her breath hitched, and she tried to muster a reassuring smile, but Chris wasn’t having any of it.
"What’s going on, babe?" His voice was soft, filled with worry. "Hey, you’re shaking."
Y/N opened her mouth to respond, but the words caught in her throat. The trembling in her hands worsened as if her body was betraying her attempt to appear calm. Her breath began to quicken, each inhale growing more shallow than the last. She clenched the towel tighter around her, feeling the edges of panic creeping in.
"It’s nothing, Chris. I’m fine, really. Let’s just get ready and go." She forced out, her voice strained, refusing to look into his eyes.
But Chris’s eyes searched hers, seeing the truth behind her words. He brushed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away a tear that had escaped without her realizing.
"You’re not fine." He said gently, concern deepening in his gaze. "Talk to me."
Y/N tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but it only grew larger.
"I woke up feeling so anxious." She finally admitted, her voice trembling. "I don’t know why, but it’s like… it’s like there’s this weight on my chest, and I can’t breathe properly. My heart’s racing, and I can’t… I can’t make it stop."
As she spoke, the feelings she had been trying to suppress began to overwhelm her. Her chest tightened painfully, each breath now coming in rapid, uneven gasps. The room started to spin, her vision narrowing as her hands shook uncontrollably. Her legs felt like they might give out any second, the numbness creeping up from her feet, making her feel disconnected from her own body.
Chris’s eyes widened in alarm as he watched the familiar signs of an impending anxiety attack take hold of her. Without hesitation, he stepped closer, his hands moving to cradle her face, anchoring her in the present.
"Y/N, look at me." He said firmly, his voice steady but soothing. "Focus on my voice, yeah? Just focus on me."
Her eyes darted around, panic rising as the room seemed to close in on her.
"I-I can’t… I can’t breathe." She gasped, her chest burning with the effort, her hands closing into tight fists against her chest, the towel fabric brushing against her skin making her feel suffocating. It was all too much.
"Yes, you can." Chris insisted, his voice calm and reassuring. "You’re safe. I’m right here with you. Just try to match your breathing with mine, okay? In… and out. You know how to do it, yeah?"
He exaggerated his own breaths, taking slow, deep inhales and long exhales, hoping she would follow his lead. Y/N tried to mimic his breathing, but her body resisted, her lungs refusing to cooperate as her mind spiraled further into panic, shaking her head as if telling him that it wasn't working.
"It’s okay, petal." Chris continued, his thumbs brushing gently over her cheeks. "I’ve got you. You’re not alone. Just keep trying, focus on the sound of my voice. You're my smart girl, I know you can do it."
His words were a lifeline in the chaos, something tangible to cling to as her world seemed to tilt on its axis. She fixed her eyes on his ocean blue ones, trying desperately to ground herself in his presence. Slowly, agonizingly slowly, she began to force her breaths to deepen, following the rhythm he set.
In... out.
In... out.
"That’s it." Chris murmured, his hands never leaving her face. "You’re doing great. Just keep going."
The numbness in her legs started to recede as her breathing began to slow, the tightness in her chest easing slightly. She focused on the warmth of Chris’s hands, the steadiness of his gaze, and the calm that radiated from him like a soothing balm.
After what felt like an eternity, her breathing finally evened out, the sharp edges of panic dulling into a manageable hum. The tears that had been threatening finally spilled over, but this time, they were tears of relief, not fear.
Chris pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against him as if to shield her from any lingering remnants of the attack.
"You’re okay." He whispered into her hair, his hand rubbing slow, comforting circles on her back. "You’re safe, Y/N. I’m here."
She clung to him, her face buried in his chest, drawing strength from his presence. The remnants of the anxiety attack left her feeling drained and shaky, but Chris’s embrace was a refuge, a place where she could let go of the fear and simply be.
"I’m sorry." She mumbled into his shirt, her voice thick with exhaustion and emotion.
Chris shook his head, pulling back just enough to look at her, his expression tender.
"Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for." He said softly, brushing a few strands of hair away from her damp forehead. "I’m just glad you’re okay."
Y/N nodded, wiping at her tear-streaked cheeks with the back of her hand.
"Thank you." She whispered, her voice filled with gratitude. "I don’t know what I’d do without you."
"You don’t have to worry about that." Chris replied, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere."
They stood there in silence for a few moments longer, the intensity of the situation gradually fading into the background as the warmth of their connection took its place. Chris kept his arms around her, his presence a solid and comforting weight that grounded her in the here and now.
When she finally felt steady enough to stand on her own, Chris gave her a reassuring smile.
"Why don’t we take it easy today?" He suggested. "We don’t have to go out if you’re not feeling up to it. We can stay in, watch movies, whatever you want."
Y/N considered his offer, the thought of staying in and cocooning herself in the safety of their home tempting. But she knew that sometimes it helped to get out, to distract herself with the world outside.
"No, I think I still want to go." She said, her voice stronger now, though still soft. "I think… I think it might help."
Chris nodded, his expression understanding.
"Okay. But if at any point you need to come back, just say the word. We’ll take it slow."
"I will." She promised, feeling a bit more like herself as she managed a small smile, grateful for his understanding. He always knew exactly what she needed, even when she didn’t know it herself. "Thank you." She whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
"Always." He replied, giving her a soft kiss on her forehead before stepping back to give her space. "I’ll be right here if you need me."
As Y/N watched him move back to the bed, resuming his task of getting dressed, she felt a sense of calm beginning to replace the anxiety. It wasn’t gone completely, but with Chris there, she knew she could handle it. She took another deep breath, this one more steady, and turned back to the closet to finish getting ready.
I know, I write too much and too long, sorry yall 🙏🏻🤞🏻
I would post as a usual fic, but I feel like yall like it more when it's blurbs 😭
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martiansodas-blog · 2 years ago
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Talk me through it
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Your sexual experiences were never a priority for your partners. They never even cared for you when it was over. When your friend Joel finds out, he wants to be the one to change that.
Joel Miller x reader
Contents: Smut, age gap, friends to lovers, huge praise kink, aftercare, fluff.
Authors note: My first fic in a few years
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Your body in Jackson but your mind a million miles away, you were daydreaming about a man two decades your senior.
What did his hands feel like after a hard day of work? Coarse and dry most likely.
But we’re they gentle when they came in contact with someone else? When they were taking off someone’s clothes…
Snap out of it
He’s simply a regular at the bar. An acquaintance. And even that was pushing it. The only people he truly softened for was Ellie and Tommy.
You gaze at the clock : one hour left. The last hour is always the longest. Most customers had filtered out and you were cleaning with your coworker Amanda.
“How did your date go?” You asked
“Didn’t know if he was my type at first, but after he ate me out I decided he was.”
You tried to chuckle with her but your body cringed.
“You enjoy that?” You asked embarrassed.
It seemed like everyone liked it but you. Was there something wrong with you? Dumbfounded Amanda looked back at you.
“You don’t?”
“I don’t know, receiving head is just…boring. It’s not painful, it’s not exciting, it’s just meh. I’d rather move on to the main event, ya know?”
Her expression didn’t change.
“What are you talking about!? Receiving is practically the only thing that makes being born female worth it.” You both laughed as you stood on your tip toes to put a glass away.
Your words made Joel’s whole body stiff.
One night with me. One night with me and I’ll give you the head you deserve. Stupid boys your age don’t know how to pleasure a woman.
He couldn’t say that tho, especially not in public. Hell go for something calmer.
“Maybe you just haven’t been with an experienced enough person.”
You jolt around in shock. You had no idea until now he was in the bar, let alone listening to your conversation.
“Um, yeah, maybe. It’s not a big deal for me.”
You shrugged the topic off and quickly turned around making yourself busy. You went beat red knowing the most attractive man in town heard about your sex life, or lack thereof.
It’s a big deal for me, you’re torturing me here.
Joel decided he shouldn’t say anything else and risk making you uncomfortable, it wasn’t his intention. Without saying another word he headed home.
“Maybe he’s right, maybe you should have a night with someone older.” Amanda said in a suggestive voice. When you laughed this time it was out of awkwardness.
“Good one, I don’t think so. Im not one for one night stands. Plus, in a commune this size, Ive had a good look around and haven’t been attracted to any guys.”
Lie.
You and Joel were on good terms. You don’t use the word ‘friends’ because Joel isn’t really friends with anyone. At least he wouldn’t say that. He doesn’t let his walls go down enough for that. But he does care about his inner circle and that’s obvious.
You could tell you were one of the people he softened for. Mainly it was Tommy and Ellie, but somehow you always managed sneak your way in there. Most of the reason being you were giving him drinks.
Your affection for him was one sided, but it didn’t matter. He was never going to find out. Your crush just gave you something to look forward to during work.
• • •
It’s an hour before closing and Joel had yet to come in. Odd. Maybe he was under the weather today.
Pulling you from your thoughts was the bell of the door opening.
Speak of the devil
“Hey! Was wondering when you’d show up.”
He smiled at you. Thats rare. He liked a little too much that you wanted to see him. He wanted to see you too, he just still not good at expressing his emotions and letting people in.
“Whiskey?” You assumed.
“Actually, I was thinking of not drinking here tonight.”
The smirk on his face showed that he had a plan but you couldn’t figure out what in the world it was.
Why would he come to a bar if he wasn’t going to drink?
“How about I be the bartender for once. I hope that’s not forward of me to ask, but would you like to come by my place after your shift? If you’re too tired I understand-“
“Yes that sounds great, yes.” You could hear your smile in your voice.
“Alright then, peach. You know which house is mine. See ya then.” He got up and walked away.
Peach. He’d never called you that before.
Yes, you did know which house Joel lived in, but you’ve never been in it. You wondered what kind of decorations he hung up. Did it smell like him? You could barely stand still the remainder of your shift.
You have to put away your school girl crush.
• • •
As soon as it hit the hour you threw off your apron and went into the bathroom to freshen up.
You wished makeup survived the apocalypse, just a little to make your eyes pop.
What are you doing? He’s not your boyfriend.
You really must stop letting your mind wander. You ran your fingers through your hair and tried to get the smell of spilt beer off you. You don’t know what to expect. You’ve never hung out with Joel like this.
A few minutes later you’re knocking on his door. Nearly vibrating with nerves.
He opens it and
God
There’s that enchanting smile again.
It’s contagious. For a few seconds you two just gaze at each other with grins.
“Hey” you said shyly
“Glad you came, come on in.”
He opened the door as far as it went and you stepped in.
Definitely Joel Millers place.
Not much decorations, but his presence is here. Things Ellie has made for him hung around the living room. Things that survived of his from before the apocalypse. It felt homey. It felt safe.
He led the two of you into the living room. When your legs hit the couch you let out a sigh.
There were already two cold beers and glasses of water on the coffee table in front of you. Normally you don’t like to drink because you’re around it almost everyday and the smell gets annoying. But with Joel it seemed fun.
You both picked up your bottles and instead of making small talk or clinking the drinks together, you just nodded at each other and sipped.
Oh wow, this was actually kind of good. Where did he get this from? You groaned as it warmed your body.
“Haven’t been able to rest that much today. Work was busy. This is nice, Miller.”
He shifted closer to you. Closer than a acquaintance would normally sit. Not that you’re offended, you almost feel flattered. Joel speaks in actions.
“As long as you don’t go tellin people I’m nice.” He joked
“I like nice Joel.” Your voice wasn’t light anymore. “I hope I get to see more of him.”
You knew once those words came out of your mouth that they pushed a boundary. It’s a miracle anyone in this type of world is nice. It’s not an expectation you have anymore.
Your sentence didn’t seem to bother him, though. He stared at you for a few beats. He scooted once again until your knees touched. You’d never been this close to him, it was making your face get hot.
You both seem to have fallen into a comfortable silence, studying each other. There are details on his face you’ve never seen before. He pulled off facial hair like no other. His beard a mix of white, gray and brown.
You don’t know how long it stayed like this, but when you looked up at him to feel out the situation, he wasn’t looking back at you.
He was looking at your lips. You assumed they were dry or you had something on them. Instinctively you licked them.
“Don’t do that to me.” He whispered.
Your heart stopped.
“What?”
Instead of answering he put his hands on each side of your face. You made eye contact and thought you must be dreaming.
I’ve had dreams of him before, this must be another one.
But no. You can smell the drink he had and feel his big hands.
“Do you trust me?” He asked. You didn’t need time to think.
“Yes.”
In milliseconds your lips touched.
If this is a dream I never want to wake up.
The kiss starts gentle. Feather light. Sweet. Your noses bumping into each other. Not at all what you expected from Joel Miller.
You press your face into his to make the kiss more intense, but he puts his hands on your shoulders to keep you where he can be tender.
You pull away. Both taking a moment to process.
“Are you sure you want this?” He asks.
You can’t help but laugh because who wouldn’t want him. Especially after that kiss.
“I’ve been wanting you for so long.”
He breaks out into the biggest smile you’ve seen. Any nerves or unfamiliarity between you two is gone.
“Com’ere”
Now you’re both giggling and hugging. So happy that feelings have been confessed.
Your head nuzzled into his neck gave the perfect opportunity to whisper in his ear.
“You’re not going to break me. I want you to kiss me like I’m not delicate.”
Something snapped in him.
Maybe it was your warm breath on his ear, maybe it was that you were close enough to straddling him but not there yet. Maybe it’s because he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in town, no, on earth.
He grabs your face with more force this time. Kissing you aggressively. You enjoyed how his fingers dug into your jaw. You gasped and he took the opportunity to introduce his tongue to yours.
He grabbed your legs and settled you over him. It was obvious he was strong but goddamn. He lifted a fully grown woman like it was nothing. It made a fire start in your lower belly.
“I need you. I need you right here on this couch.”
You didn’t respond. Too drunk on him already. You knew once his cock touched you there’d be no thoughts left in your brain.
He chuckled at your state, snapping his fingers to get your attention.
“Sweetheart are you with me?”
“Yeah sorry, I just can’t believe I’m doing this with you. You’ve already made me feel better than any guys I’ve been on dates with and-” your words got muffled by you taking off your shirt. You went braless today.
Now Joel was the speechless one. Staring at your chest. Running his hands up and down your sides.
She isn’t real. She can’t be.
“You’re so … beautiful. Now I really can’t wait, darlin.”
With the same urgency as before he picks you up and laid you out on the couch. Kissing your stomach, not giving you time to process.
He continues kissing down your body while unbuttoning your jeans. He rips them off along with your underwear in one motion.
Jesus, fuck.
“You’re already dripping for me, aren’t you babe?”
“Yes, it’s all for you.”
He lets out a noise that can best be described as feral.
“But, um, you don’t have to do that. It’s not a big deal to me.”
The man looked up at your from between your thighs.
“Will you let me have a taste? If you say stop, I’ll stop.”
“…Okay.”
“Mmm, let me show you how a real man makes you feel.”
All apprehension and doubts you had floated away. Joel licked up both sides of your folds slowly, and you swore you could cum right then.
Your core fluttered around nothing. You needed it again and again and again. He was taking his time with you. Mapping your body out. His tongue making sure to know every inch of you.
The deeper his tongue went, the more your body relaxed. You don’t think it has ever relaxed this much.
The house filled with sinful noises. Your moans, him lapping against you, the couch cousins being gripped.
When he groaned it sent vibrations through your whole body, pushing you closer to the edge.
He went back to licking you from bottom to top. Flattening his tongue as much as possible. Leaving a kiss on your clit before going to the other side.
I love it when he does that. God.
He started to pick up his pace. Inserting his tongue as deep as it goes. Eating you out like a starved man. And he was. You were his new favorite meal. He’s perfectly fine with not getting laid tonight and doing this instead.
“Fuck please- ohh-”
He loves that he can make you sound like that. It makes his cock beg to get out of his pants.
“Joel,” you whimpered out, grabbing his hair.
“I can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me. You’re the sweetest fuckin thing.”
His words were sweet but his tone was filthy. It made your back arch. He knew you were close. He kicked it up a notch and inserted a finger in you.
You gasped at the size and feel. You could finally clench around something and your body was so happy.
“Fuck it feels so good! I’m close.”
I know you are
“You’re doing so good.”
He added a finger and moved them in a come hither motion.
You were done for. His calloused hands bringing you to release. He kept pumping in and out of you, getting all he could of your liquid. When he saw you regaining your breathing he removed his hand.
Laying there for a few minutes with half lidded eyes, you felt like you were on drugs. You were trying to find your composure but your body wouldn’t stop tingling.
The man who just gave you your best orgasm crawls up and appears in your view.
“Hey there sweetheart.”
He has the biggest smirk on his face, arms on either side of you. You don’t care. You’d give everything up if it meant you’d get more of his talent in your future.
“That was incredible.” You exhale
“For me, too.”
In what was becoming classic Joel Miller fashion, he presses the gentlest of kisses to your lips, then rests his forehead against yours.
“Did I wear you out?”
“Not yet.”
“Good. I have a lot planned.”
You bite your lip in anticipation.
“Oh yeah, cowboy?”
He liked the nickname.
“Yeah, but I prefer to fuck my pretty lady on my bed.”
With that he stood up and carried you bridal style to his room. It was darker in there with one orange lamp on which made the mood even more sensual. He placed you on his bed and resumed the position he was in before.
“I’m gonna make sure you feel me tomorrow, sweetheart.”
You let out a whimper. Crashing into another kiss.
It was his turn to take off clothes.
You hastily unbuttoned his flannel and threw it across the room. He would laugh at your urgency if he wasn’t just as bad.
You smooth your hand over his new bare skin. Soft with scars. You reached his belt and he pushed your hands away to do it himself. Taking the belt then his jeans off much faster than you could’ve.
You stared at his outline, unable to mask your expression. You can tell he’s big without even seeing it yet. By the smirk on his face, he knows it too. You were really boosting his ego tonight.
“You gonna gawk all night or should I take it out?”
Fuchsia creeping onto your cheeks.
“I don’t think I’ve been with anyone your caliber before.” You say meekly, still looking at his clothed cock.
He bring his face right above yours and tilts your chin so your eyes meet.
“Sweet girl, I’ll be gentle. I’ll start slow for you.”
You’re reassured. You feel safe with him.
“Okay. I’m ready.”
He brings his lips to meet yours once more. Not breaking it while he tugs off his boxers.
Your breath quickens as you get nervous again. He immediately takes notice and strokes your cheek. Caring about you in every touch.
You feel the head of his cock meet your entrance. Your head falls back against the pillows. He takes this as a sign to push in a few inches deeper.
“That’s my girl.”
Your gasps like angels singing. Your legs squeezing around me because you need more.
Joel goes like this for several minutes. Pushing in, letting you adjust, making sure he doesn’t immediately cum, then pushing again.
You needed movement. Unable to control the pleas that left your mouth.
“Joel, fuck me. I can take it. Stretch me out.”
He can’t say no to you. Especially when you’re like this.
He pulls almost completely out of you then slams back in. Going from 0 to 100. His tip touching your cervix.
He was reaching depths of you no man ever had before. You couldn’t help but be loud.
“I know baby, I know. Let it all out.”
His words made you moan even more. You’re so turned on it got caught in your throat. No one had ever talked you through it before. No one had said such dirty things to you while making you feel this good. No one has made you feel as good as you deserved.
“So good. So good for me.”
You were so wet it was seeping out of you and onto the sheets. You’ve had the briefest feel of him and are already addicted. You rolled your hips into him and hooked your legs around his waist. Instantly he groaned at the feeling.
“Just like that baby, there you go.” His low voice registered in your ear. You always admired the sound of his voice but you never thought it’d be praising you. It was a fucking drug.
He kissed you hard on the mouth and it made the little bit of your body you had control over go limp. He took this opportunity to take your hands and pin them together above your head. It turned you on so much, your back began to arch. Anyone within a ten mile radius would be able to hear you.
Joel had to focus to get a complete sentence out because of how tight you were clenched around him.
“You sound so good. I love hearing how I make my girl feel. You’re so spent on my cock, aren’t you?”
You nodded eagerly.
“Of course you are. Never truly been taken care of, have you?
“N-No.” you whimpered.
“Think you can take more of me, sweet thing?” He let your hands go so he could caress your cheek.
You were nervous but you nodded.
“Good girl.” He smirked at you when he said it. He loved how much power he had over you.
He grabs your legs and put them over his shoulder. With intense speed starts fucking you again. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he pulled obscene noises from your mouth.
“Oh god oh god”
“That’s my girl. I love being buried in your perfect cunt.”
Your back was arching, your fists were gripping the sheets and your clit was throbbing. Your orgasm was nearing quickly.
Your moans got higher and closer together as your legs squeezed around him.
“Words baby, use your words.”
“Fuck, I’m close. Oh I’m close, oh Joel please. It feels so fucking good.”
He knew exactly what you needed. He circled your clit with his rough thumb and continued to thrust into you hard.
“Good girl, cum for me. Cum on my cock.”
“Oh god oh god-”
You came harder than you ever have before. Leaving a mess on and beneath you. Your ears have a light ringing in them and you were seeing stars. You couldn’t even register if Joel was still near you until you felt a warm washcloth bringing you back to reality.
You opened your eyes and saw him. Someone you knew now you couldn’t live without.
He delicately rubbed one of your legs with one hand and cleaned you up with the other. Making sure you wouldn’t be uncomfortable if you fell asleep right there, which after that experience, was likely.
His actions are a huge juxtaposition to his reputation. He is not stoic and harsh and self centered. He is caring and affectionate and thoughtful.
You smiled up at him while half asleep.
“Thank you.” You managed to choke out. Your voice was half gone.
“Of course, darlin. It’s only the decent thing to do.”
He tossed the cloth on the floor and placed a soft blanket under where you both came. He’d wash the sheets later.
“No guy I’ve been with has really given me aftercare before…”
For some reason saying that was more venerable than the act you just did with him. Your face feels hot.
“You deserve so much more than what’s been given to you. And I don’t just mean with sex.”
You knew if either of you said much else you’d burst into tears. You made grabby hands at him and the two of you fell into a warm cuddle, touching as much of each others skin as possible.
“Goodnight, cowboy.”
He kisses your forehead.
“Goodnight, peach.”
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xi4ohuhu · 8 months ago
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It’s Xiao’s first time, teach him, will you?
It’s Xiao’s turn this time!! Smut ofc (nervous, virgin Xiao, praise kink, begging, desperate, Xiao sheds a bit of tears bc of how good it feels lol, a bit of a switch!xiao, but mainly sub!xiao, dom!female!reader, riding position, nipple play, biting and sucking)
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You are Xiao’s lover, getting him to open up to you after knowing him better. You’ve been dating him for a few years now and although Xiao is usually busy with his duties in protecting Liyue, he still tries to make time for you. However, for this particular night, you wanted a change. A change in more intimacy… But Xiao, having spent most of his life battling for centuries, has no idea about intimacy. So teach him, will you?
You’re currently lying on the bed completely naked, Xiao’s cheeks flushing up at the sight of your gorgeous body. It’s not like he hadn’t seen you naked before, it was just that he wasn’t used to it. Xiao didn’t know what to do, placing his hands on your hips and rubbing the soft flesh gently.
“Uh, my dear, is this okay? Do you want me to stop? Do you feel cold? You’re completely unclothed after all… If you’re feeling uncomfortable or want to stop, please do not hesitate to tell me immediately.” Xiao said as he bombarded you with questions, his voice laced with concern and anxiety. It was clear that he was very nervous, having intimacy was new to him and this was his first time, but for you, he was willing to try.
Xiao continued to hold onto your hips, but his grip was very gentle. Too gentle even, as if you were some fragile glass that would break if he didn’t handle you properly. Xiao was afraid of hurting you, especially knowing that he had his own karmic debt, so he didn’t know if he was capable of feeling and indulging in intimacy. Hah… It would be a miracle once he degraded you.
“Xiao, really, I’m completely fine… This is the third time I’m repeating myself, I’m not fragile. I can handle myself, it’s okay. Do you want me to take over? This is just apart of intimacy after all, it’s raw and unadulterated.” You reassured him and couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. You were willing to teach him about intimacy, but you had never seen him so nervous before, so you couldn’t resist poking fun at him a little. “I didn’t think you’d be so nervous about this, aren’t you supposed to be strong? But you can start by stripping too, you know.”
You giggled softly, but your lips curved into a genuine smile, you knew how concerned Xiao could be about you. Having lost friends in his past, you were the last person he wanted to lose as well. He didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he hurt you, even if accidentally. Yet, you also wanted Xiao to take a leap of faith, to trust you. You were determined to make his first time special and leave him breathless by the end of the night. Though, it’d be a miracle if Xiao managed to degrade you, he was too sweet and gentle inside for that.
Xiao's brows furrowed slightly at your teasing, his cheeks flushing a deeper shade of red. He wasn't used to being the one in such vulnerable positions, both physically and emotionally. But he trusted you, and he knew that you wouldn't lead him astray. "I... I suppose you're right," Xiao mumbled, his voice tinged with a mix of embarrassment and determination. He took a deep breath, gathering his resolve, and slowly began to remove his clothes. His movements were deliberate, careful, as if he was afraid of tearing the fabric. But soon enough, he stood before you, completely naked.
Xiao’s body, toned and lean from centuries of training, revealed itself to you. His pale skin was marred with scars, remnants of countless battles fought. The intricate golden tattoos on his arms and chest seemed to shimmer under the soft glow of the moonlight that filtered through the window. Xiao's eyes never left your face as he approached you, his gaze filled with a mix of desire and uncertainty. He tentatively reached out, his hands trembling slightly, and cupped your face, his thumbs brushing against your cheeks.
"My dear, I... I trust you," he whispered, his voice husky with longing. "Teach me... show me what it means to be intimate with you." With those words, Xiao leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a gentle, hesitant kiss. His touch was feather-light, as if he was afraid of overwhelming you. But as your lips moved together, a spark ignited within him, and his kisses grew bolder, more passionate.
Xiao's kisses descended from your lips to your neck, his teeth grazing lightly against your sensitive skin. He inhaled your scent, a heady mix of desire and anticipation, and it fueled the fire burning within him. His hands moved to cup your breasts, his thumbs teasing your nipples, eliciting soft moans from your lips. His voice, usually so controlled and composed, was now laced with a raw hunger as he whispered in your ear, "You're so beautiful, love. I want you to dominate me, to show me the control and power you have over me. Can you do that, dear? Please?” Xiao's words hung in the air, his eyes that were filled with desperation and need locked onto yours, waiting for your response. He was ready to explore the depths of intimacy with you, to lose himself in the sensations that awaited the both of you. And of course, seeing your boyfriend beg so sweetly like that, who were you to decline?
You smiled and nodded, guiding Xiao to lay on the bed first. As he complied, you crawled on top of him and positioned yourself onto his lap, your eyes filled with hunger and desire. You captured his lips into a passionate kiss first, your hands roaming over Xiao’s bare body. Your touch was featherlight, your fingers tracing Xiao’s permanent, old scars and the tattoos that adorned his arm and shoulder. In your eyes, Xiao would always be perfect, scars or tattoos or not. You broke the kiss, your lips trailing down to Xiao’s neck. You left kisses and nips, marking him. Your breasts pressed against his chest, Xiao could feel the softness of them and your hardened nipples. His erection, hard and the tip leaking with pre-cum, brushed against your wet folds. You teased him, not completely taking him all the way, but making him beg for it first. You could feel Xiao’s hands on your hips, the way his breath hitched, the room filling with his sounds of pleasure, along with your connection.
Xiao's breath hitched as your lips left a trail of kisses and nips along his neck, marking him as your own. He could feel your breasts pressing against his chest, the softness and warmth of them sending shivers down his spine. His hands tightened on your hips, his grip possessive yet gentle, as he eagerly sought more of her touch. His erection throbbed against your wet folds, the sensation driving him to the brink of madness. He groaned, a mixture of pleasure and frustration escaping his lips, as you teased him, not fully taking him in. Each movement, each brush of your bodies, intensified the desire pooling within him, igniting a fire that threatened to consume the both of you.
"Love, please," he pleaded, his voice husky with need. "I need you... I need to feel you around me, to be inside you. Don't make me wait any longer." With a sense of urgency, Xiao's hands moved from your hips to your thighs, guiding you down onto him. He groaned as he felt the tightness of your entrance, the way you stretched around him, accommodating his size. Slowly, you sank down, taking him deeper with each inch, until he was fully sheathed within your tight pussy. A wave of pleasure washed over Xiao, his head falling back as he lost himself in the sensations. He could feel the heat of your core, the way your walls pulsed around him, gripping him in a delicious embrace. He couldn't help but moan, the sounds of pleasure filling the room.
With a rhythm that matched the beating of your hearts, Xiao's hips began to move, thrusting upwards to meet your downward movements. The friction between the two of you was electrifying, every thrust pushing you two closer to the edge of ecstasy. His hands roamed over your body, his touch growing more possessive, as he sought to claim every inch of you. Your bodies moved in perfect harmony, a dance of passion and desire. The room was filled with the sounds of your moans, Xiao’s whimpers and the intoxicating scent of arousal. Time seemed to lose all meaning as the two of you lost yourselves in the pleasure, bodies and souls intertwining in a moment of pure bliss.
“Oh, faster, please. Ride me harder, my dear. Mark me as yours.” Xiao pleaded desperately, his voice cracking between his moans. And who were you to deny him? Slamming down on him, you did a particularly powerful thrust that sent his tip kissing your cervix, causing Xiao to gasp and cry out your name. His grip on your hips was so tight it was sure to leave a few marks and bruises here and there, but he was too lost in the pleasure to care. Sniffing, a few drops of tears started to stream down Xiao’s cheeks, a reminder of the overwhelming pleasure he was feeling right now. All those thousands of years of training, he’s never felt this much pleasure before. He always thought he’d just become nothing but a weapon for combat and that trainings were necessary, yet there has always been an empty, lonely void in his heart. And you managed to fill it.
“Shh, oh, you pretty boy. Don’t cry…” You coo, almost tauntingly, before kissing away Xiao’s tears. Breathing heavily, Xiao decided to turn the tables a little and fight for dominance. Pulling you impossibly closer, his mouth latched onto one of your hardened nipples, one of his hands moving to fondle your other breast, rolling the hardened nipple between his thumb. You moan desperately, arching your back and throwing your head back to expose your neck. Xiao releases your nipple with a pop, taking this chance to suck and bite on your neck, leaving marks that will surely last for days, but also remind you that you’re his. His hands moved from your hips to your ass, squeezing your cheeks gently. He liked the way they jiggled under his touch and against his pelvis.
“Do you like that, my dear? Oh, love, I can’t hold back anymore. I-I’m gonna cum, ah… Cumming-!” Xiao gasped and gets cut off by his orgasm, hot strings of his cum splurting deep into your womb. You moan out his name loudly, your orgasm crashing into you too as your coat Xiao’s cock with your cum. After a few heavy breaths, you collapse onto Xiao’s chest, having him hold you tightly. Stroking your head gently, he kisses your forehead. Xiao doesn’t know much about aftercare, but he’ll do his best. He continues to thrust gently, making sure to prolong your orgasm as long as possible before gently pulling out, his cock spent with your juices as his cum leaked out from your pussy.
“That was… amazing. Thank you, love, for showing me what true pleasure really feels like. I-I love you, so much.” Xiao remarked, his voice laced with affection and relief. “I love you too…” You replied back in a murmur before drifting off into a peaceful sleep on him. “I’ll clean you up tomorrow, promise.” Xiao muttered softly to your sleeping form before cuddling you, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep with you too.
————-THE END————
Jacq’s note: I’m back with a Xiao fanfic this time ;)) I don’t really have much to say lol except thank u sm for the support on my previous scara one on the Ferris wheel and thanks for reading till the end, until then <3
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thisblogisaboutabook · 8 months ago
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Bad Idea, Right? - Part 6
Eris x Reader/Azriel’s Daughter
Eris and Y/N seem to have a knack for putting themselves in unsavory situations. Bonus: Eris has a flashback to the night they met.
Part 4 Part 5 Part 7
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Warnings: Alcohol, Language, Attempted SA
Oh gods. I rolled over slowly only to be met with a wave of nausea and a killer headache. I blinked several times, enough to bring the bedside table into view where a glass of water and a hangover tonic awaited me - at least I had the foresight to brace myself for the impending hell that awaited me after such an intoxicating night out.
It was an effort to pull my arm out from beneath the covers of my bed - which felt so much softer and warmer than usual. I drank a few sips of water and the tonic quickly cured the unease in my stomach but the remnants of the headache still remained. My impetuous little shadows tugged at me to get out of bed but it was just so comfortable - tuning them out I yanked my comforter over my head and drifted back asleep.
——————
Eris
Eris started awake as Y/N roused slightly from her sleep, just enough to find the tonic he’d left on his bedside table for her. Several hours ago, he’d settled in a lounge chair on the opposite side of the bed after she’d spent an hour with her head in the commode, alternating between heaving and berating him for being a “shady motherfucker” all while he held her silken hair back and rubbed soothing circles on her back.
Once she’d completely emptied herself of both the contents of her stomach and insults, she insisted she needed to bathe herself - managing to stumble into the bath tub with her clothes still on and demand “something fried and something bubbly, good sir.”
She refused to undress so he could fill the tub, so he left her there to her own devices while he torched some breaded chicken tenderloins in the kitchen - his fire power really came in handy in times like this - where a five foot whatever heathen was demanding sustenance ASAP. “High Lord my ass.” He mumbled to himself as he carried a tray of seltzer water and her fried chicken into the bathroom… where she was sound asleep in the tub.
Good lord, what had he gotten himself into with this beautiful mess. The mother only knew.
So he’d carried her to the bed, feeling a bit sleazy for changing her out of her dress while asleep but it was either let her rest in a liquor and vomit splattered dress that did everything for her curves and absolutely nothing for comfort… or change her out of it and into one of his cotton tees. Perhaps his male ego beamed slightly at the thought of her sleeping in his shirt but he assured himself that her comfort was his top priority.
He warmed the sheets using his fire magic and tucked her in before setting out the tonic and settling in on the lounge.
————————-
Y/N
When I reawoke, it must have been hours later. Whoever came in and opened the curtains could go to hell as the sunlight filtering in assaulted my eyes.
“Mother’s tits.” I groaned out as I stretched, careful not to turn my head too quickly in an effort of staving any sudden returns of nausea or shooting pains from the headache.
As my eyes slowly began adjusting to the damned sunlight, three things stood out. One: my shadows were swirling in front of me and intertwining with my fingers excitedly. Two: Someone was….cooking? In my bedroom. And as my vision fully cleared, three: This wasn’t my room, it was a fucking studio apartment.
“Owww.” I whined as I turned my head toward the direction of whatever greasy delight was cooking only to see red hair pulled up into a bun, a glorious muscular bare back hindered only by the tie of an apron, and delicious toned legs exposed by cloth shorts hemmed at the mid-thigh.
Mother’s tits indeed. Just when I thought the bastard couldn’t get any hotter.
An opportunist, traitor of a shadow shot away from me, caressing his arm as it handled a pan on the stove.
“Morning sunshine.” Eris purred, not even turning to look at me.
I scrunched my nose, lowering my tone into that of disgust - a futile effort to appear unphased by the sight before me “Why are you here? And where the fuck are we?”
“Always a pleasure to see you too, little one. Breakfast first?”
I desperately wanted to object but the bacon he was cooking smelled delicious and fuck if he didn’t look delicious too.
“Whatever.” I muttered, rolling my eyes at either his ability to tolerate whatever I threw at him or myself for being so internally captivated by the half-naked high lord cooking breakfast for me.
He didn’t need to turn around for me to feel the smirk forming on his lips as he began plating our food.
Breakfast was….. silent. Eris sat in a chair watching me with mischief in his eyes and I did my best to focus on the borderline ecstasy inducing combination of grease and whatever smokey, apple seasoning he’d flavored the bacon with.
After a long ‘bout of silence I finally gave in to his game. “Alright Eris,” His name rolled off my tongue like more honey and less venom than intended. “I’ll bite. Where are we anyway? And how?”
“I told you last night, little love. We’re at my apartment.”
Hazy memories rolled back just a bit. A blur of red, a steadying arm, and-
“In Velaris?”
“Is it so shocking that I invest my funds into properties. How many palacial homes do Rhysand and Feyre have now? More than three, yes?”
I crossed my arms. A bit like a petulant child, yes, but it did the trick as it shelved my breasts perfectly enough that Eris was caught off guard. Good.
I leaned forward, the gap in the neck of my - his shirt allowing a glimpse of the unclothed breasts beneath.
“Quit deflecting.” biting my lip, I leaned in a bit closer tracing a finger along his jaw, over the stubble shadowing the sharp angles of it, my palm then meeting his cheek just lightly enough to make his eyelids flutter as he leaned into it.
A fresh wave of the hangover nausea churned through my stomach causing me to tense, slightly drawing back and breaking the trance I had him in.
Eris tsk’d “Uh uh, clever girl.” His eyes darkened as that stupid, perfect sly smirk of his crossed over his features. “You won’t seduce answers from me, though I do love to see you try.” Letting out a sigh that I could have sworn was a bit condescending he continued, “Had you not ghosted me following our delightful night after Starfall, you’d have known.”
“Perhaps Eris, had you not kept information from me and threatened MY High Lord with violence over whatever you’re keeping from me then I would not have resorted to such measures.”
Eris leaned back in his chair, one leg arrogantly crossed over the other as one elbow rested on an arm of the chair and the other hand’s thumb and pointer finger rubbed curiously at his jaw.
“And how- pray tell, do you know of such violent threats? Nothing came through my end of the bargain tattoo so I know that Rhysand did not inform you.”
“No. You should be smarter, High Lord, about what you say beyond established wards. You never know what little ears may be prying.”
Realization crossed Eris’s features as he pieced together who had heard him.
“I simply stated that there would be retaliation. Your High Lord would reciprocate similarly if there were facets of my end of the bargain being broken.”
I leaned closer, inches away from Eris’ face.
“You can tell me what information is so important that a bargain is required to withhold it from me - or I can leave now.”
I could have sworn pain crossed his face briefly before he cooly said, “I’d hate to see you go, my little shadow but I always enjoy watching you leave.”
“I’m sure you do.” I stood up, swaying my hips as I walked toward the door, powering through the lingering hangover symptoms.
“Taking my shirt with you?”
“Ah, you’re right. Best to leave the dirty laundry here.”
Facing Eris and making a show of so slowly pulling the shirt up over my head, giving a perfect view of the rise and the bounce of my breasts as I tossed his shirt back to him.
“Your dress is covered in vomit and liquor.” Hand gesturing lazily toward the dress hanging over the bathroom door knob.
“Guess you’ll have to stay a while longer.
And damn my stubbornness because this was not a battle I was about to let him win.
“I’m winnowing home, Eris. Fuck the dress.”
“Wards extend to the street, sweetheart.”
I faltered but only for a moment.
I’ve never been ashamed of my body but strutting naked into the streets of Velaris wasn’t ideal.
Eh - C’est la vie
I grinned. A sharp, wicked thing.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” He growled.
Was - was that jealousy? Possessiveness?
And with that, I strutted out of his apartment in only a lace thong.
“Wait!” He called but I didn’t miss a beat.
As I walked into the street, onlookers gawked but I paid no mind. “Y/N! Stop. Come back!” He yelled, grabbing my wrist right as I winnowed to the back door of my home.
“What the fuck was that?” Eris growled, voice low with anger and something else.
I turned to face him as he slung a jacket he’d grabbed on his way out over my shoulders, barely hiding my ass and doing nothing to cover my tits but it’s the thought that counts I suppose.
Had I not still been a bit inebriated from the prior night perhaps I would have remembered I had shadows at my disposal to give at least the illusion of modesty but -
I sobered up quickly as my father stepped out of the door in his leathers - likely headed to meet Uncle Cass before heading to Windhaven - only to be greeted by his mostly naked daughter and half-naked High Lord of the Autumn Court.
Icy rage and total discomfort crossed his features, his shadows shooting out to cover me.
The war of emotions was palpable as he clenched his fists, siphons glowing, eyes shooting daggers straight through Eris.
Eris tensed before dropping his typical arrogant bastard mask into place. “Greetings Spymaster.” An arrogant smirk plastered onto his face.
Father’s jaw clenched and his fists fought a battle of wills as if he’d beat Eris to a pulp right then and there. Finally he managed to ground out, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
——————————-
Eris flashback
The prior night
Y/N let out a rather loud snore in her drunken slumber, stirring him from the sleep he’d just begun drifting off to. Her hair had fallen over her face and he couldn’t resist leaning forward and gently tucking it behind her ear.
“Mm, Eris” she whispered in her sleep followed by the slightest upward twitch of her lips.
Fuck - it was so hard sometimes. He wasn’t a perfect male but he did his best to do right by those he cared about.
Sometimes he had to distance himself from her to prevent himself from laying it all bare - tell her everything instead of letting her believe him to be the “sneaky motherfucker”. She was so young, sure in fae society five years, fifty years, five-hundred years age difference, nobody batted an eye but he’d lived so much life compared to her less than thirty.
Amusement and longing rang through him as he took care of her intoxicated ass tonight, reminding him of the night out that brought them together in the first place.
Lucien and Vassa were busy in the Day Court and Adish was going out with a couple of friends - visiting a new tavern in a recently modernized town in the northeastern territory of the Autumn Court. The town itself was safe but there were still the ocasional ruffians passing through. Lucien had requested that Eris send eyes out to ensure their protection. Something urged him to just go himself and damn, he’d never stop being grateful that he did.
The evening itself was boring. Mostly high fae but even lesser fae who had become adjusted to the “new era” ushered in with his reign came out to the tavern. There were harsh punishments for unjust violence within the Autumn Court now. Still, there was so much change needed but it would come in time. His people were rather set in their ways but a new justice system was starting to usher in change.
He nursed a beer in a corner booth, catching the eyes of plenty of fae nearby but managing to avoid the attention of Adish and his crew - which included Nyx Archeron and the little Shadowsinger who he’d heard was quickly rising in their ranks.
Nyx and Adish had both wandered off with a couple of gorgeous females with the classic red hair of his Court along with interestingly enough, Tamlin’s daughter. Layla - if he recalled correctly.
Interesting.
His attention caught as he noticed two brutes who were definitely not from here vying for the little Shadowsinger’s attention. He chuckled to himself as she waived them off, turning back to a group of females she’d stumbled out of the bathroom with. She danced without a care, holding one hand in the air as her shadows steadied her wrist in an effort to prevent spillage.
He’d give it to Rhysand’s Shadowsinger and the Archeron sister who nearly broke his brother’s heart, they passed down all of their best genetics to the stunning female on the dance floor.
The males continued irritating her, going so far as to cut her off from the group by dancing their way between them. She kept dancing but he could have sworn she was letting them cut her off, despite the obvious malicious intentions the males had for her. As they backed her to a quieter portion of the dance floor the larger male grabbed her wrist, tugging her towards the door. She shook her head no but he kept pulling as the other male corralled her from behind. Eventually she waived off the grip on her wrist and walked out with them.
Fuck. He really had no interest in lighting anybody’s asses up tonight but someone had to get the trash out of his court. And despite the fact that he and Azriel were never the best of friends, his daughter deserved more than to be ignored due to their indifferences.
So he sighed, exited out the front door and strode toward the alleyway the other entrance had led to. As he rounded the corner, he came to a halt, lurking in the shadows and taking in a sight that he hadn’t anticipated.
The Shadowsinger sat unbothered on top of a barrel with an elbow on the knee that crossed over her opposite leg. Her face filled with complete and utter boredom as she rolled her eyes at the males bound in shadow before her.
“You couldn’t have just let me be, huh boys? I was having fun with the girls in there too.
I suppose I should thank you though. After all, you won me my next three rounds of drinks. You see, the girls and I had a bet on how quickly you’d give in to your sleazy nature.
One of them bet two hours, another an hour, and me? I know a pig when I see one. Less than thirty minutes from the first time you hit on me and, well, here we are boys.”
The males couldn’t speak through the gags her shadows had placed on their mouths but the rage was apparent in their squeals.
“Anyway, since you were so desperate to find release tonight, I’ve decided to help… remedy the situation.”
With a snap of the wrist and the exception of their underwear, their clothes disappeared while the shadows binds remained in place.
She gave them each a once over and a disapproving laugh, withdrawing the shadows that were gagging them.
“Alright boys, I’ve so generously removed your gags as a thank you for helping me win my bet. You may kiss eachother now.”
The males gaped. The burlier of the two seemed to lack the understanding of the fact that he was at the disadvantage in this situation. “You little whor-“
“Uh uh.” She wagged her finger. Shadows aiming at him like daggers. “That’s no way to speak to a lady. Not that it seems anyone ever taught you manners. Pity.”
The males were visually appalled. Glancing back and forth between her and eachother as if saying “what now?”
Both males fought the restraints to no avail as the little Shadowsinger grinned with amusement at the predicament she’d put them in.
“Honestly, I should just have my shadows castrate you. Would that be more appealing? You two seemed perfectly inclined to share me, what’s a kiss between friends?”
“Please. Sorry - just let us go.” The smaller of the two pleaded.
“Once you kiss - perhaps I’ll consider. Best do it soon though, I’d hate for the little situations beneath your underwear to be revealed to the patrons of this lovely establishment when my friends come looking for me.”
The males glanced once more at eachother, leaning closely in, still hesitating but resigning themselves to their fate.
When their lips were mere centimeters apart, she held up a hand. “Ah- just a moment, boys. We have company.”
Eris started at the comment. Looking down he found a shadow winding around his ankle - was he imagining things or was it almost playful?
“High Lord.” She mused. “How do you dispose of the trash in your court?”
Mask in place, he casually stepped out of the shadows with his hands in his pockets and a devilish grin on his face.
Her gaze fixed on him. Her beauty even more striking up close, and her scent - utterly mouth watering. And when his eyes met hers
Snap.
He knew then and there that he was wholehearted and irrevocably hers for the rest of his days.
He’d wait another 500 for it to snap for her too if he had to.
She was his mate. His.
————————-
A/N: Sorry (kind of) for always leaving you all on chaotic little cliffhangers. I hope the flashback made up for the torture at least a little bit!! 😏
Tags: @b0xerdancer @myheartfollower @ang-taylorsversion @acotarobsessed @uniquecolorwizard @justasillylittlegoofyguy @thelov3lybookworm @starryhiraeth @5moremin
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huramuna · 11 months ago
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wine red, tears gold - chapter 1.
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king aegon II x baratheon ofc
a 'what if aegon didn't get poisoned and the greens technically won the dance but at what cost' au. basically aegon, alicent, otto and jaehaera are the only greens alive. and larys i guess. someone get rid of this guy.
word count: 4.6k
aegon wasn't as badly injured from Rook's Rest like in canon in this AU, he has a few burn scars near his torso but wasn't crippled / bedridden.
this is for my 100 followers poll. it was supposed to be a oneshot but will be a mini series in 3 or 4 parts. this is my first time writing aegon and it will also be somewhat of a character study.
thank you for 100 followers and everyone who participated in the poll. love &lt;3 thank you @randomdragonfires for beta reading, mwah mwah.
content: smut (specifics below cut), canon typical misogyny, canon typical violence, angst, fluff, arranged marriage, touch-staved aegon, aegon isn't a r*pist in this au but he is still a bad person and has his vices, ofc and aegon need to go to therapy together, justice for jaehaera, awkward sex, kind of a slow burn
its been so long - the living tombstone • nobody - mitski
chapter specific warnings: awkward sex, p in v, virginity loss
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Every day felt like a new restraint, a new button added to the collar choking around Aegon’s neck. He had done it– he had freed the realm of the false queen, his half-sister– and lost almost everything to do so. When did it end? When did he get to relax and run the realm as he saw fit, since they so intended to have them at the helm. He wore the conqueror’s crown, wielded his sword and bore his name and yet he couldn’t do as the conqueror actually did. Rule. He felt more like a dog than a dragon these days; but that was just a pattern in his life. They wanted him when they needed him and he was to shoulder their burdens as eldest son.
His grandsire kept breathing down his neck to secure another wife, another heir, another alliance brokered with another pompous house. 
“Listen to me, Aegon,” Otto began, his fingers laced together as he sat at his desk. He had summoned Aegon to the Tower of the Hand– he was summoning the King, rather than the King summoning him. Somehow, his council had let Otto weasel his way back into the position of Hand, Aegon’s mother in tears, pleading for it. There wasn’t anyone else fit for the job since Criston had died– and he was never really fit for it anyhow. “We must move quickly to provide you with a new wife. The realm won’t remain stable if we tarry in producing an heir for the throne.”
Aegon sat in the seat across from him, feeling more like a child than a King. He twisted the signet ring on his pinky finger. “It’s too soon. It would be an insult to Helaena.” he replied, not looking up at Otto. Helaena had only passed a few moons earlier and the wound was still fresh for all of them. Aegon never loved her like a wife– how could he, they were too different, too young– but he cared deeply for her as his sister and the mother of his children. Even thinking about taking another wife this soon felt like a betrayal. He would be like his father then.
A small huff and a rustling of papers was heard– Aegon was still too distracted by his signet ring, the thin light filtering through the half drawn blinds, causing a small glint off of the bronzed metal. He didn’t want to look up to see the expression on his grandsire’s face, he knew it was one of disappointment. Aegon couldn’t remember the last time that someone hadn’t looked at him with contempt, disappointment, melancholy. 
“You must understand. You have a duty to the realm–” 
“Fucking duty– don’t speak to me of it. I’ve done my duty for enough lifetimes. I let you put me on the throne and usurp my sister and look where that’s gotten us? Everyone is fucking dead, Otto. Jaehaerys, Maelor, Helaena, Aemond,” he paused for a moment, lifting his head up to meet the Hand’s gaze head on, “Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, Jacaerys, Lucerys, Joffrey– do I need to proceed? The majority of our bloodline is wiped out because of you and your ambition.”
Otto snorted, standing up from his desk slowly. He grabbed a decanter of wine, pouring them both a goblet. “You misunderstand. Everything I’ve done has been… for our family’s legacy– for the realm,” he placed the glass stopped back into the carafe, “Don’t you dare act as if I am not hurting for the loss of family– but war is war, boy. People die. It is unfortunate that… the ones close to us did. But we can’t live with our head in the clouds any longer, there is a realm to run and the crown comes with responsibilities. A wife and heir are one of those paramount responsibilities.”
“I have an heir. I still have one remaining child– Jaehaera is my heir. I deem it.” he spoke quickly, staring at the goblet of wine. He had reduced his intake of alcohol since the war ended– but the need for it was always there, always aching. He suddenly felt parched. Giving Otto a haughty stare, he took a sip from the glass, feeling his muscles instantly relax.
“Don’t be daft– have you so quickly forgotten what happened when the King last named a female heir?”
“It wasn’t that Rhaenyra was a woman, Otto. People would’ve learned to adjust if…” Aegon took another sip, clearing his throat, “If she hadn’t been infatuated with her freak of an uncle, you would’ve been able to control her easier, hm? It's always been you and mother behind the crown these past two decades– not me, nor my father.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” Otto griped back, gripping his glass, “Don’t speak of things you know nothing about. Rhaenyra–” he stopped, taking a breath, “Rhaenyra is dead. They’re all dead, you’re right. But there is still the whole of the Seven Kingdoms requiring a leader, especially now. A leader with a united front with a queen and babe. I won’t argue further on this matter.”
Aegon acquiesced. He would rather deal with Otto’s venomous viper tongue talking him into things he didn’t want to do now instead of his mother visiting him hours later in hysterics– he couldn’t bear it. Alicent was more of a mess now than ever. “Fine. I leave this in your very capable hands,” he stood up, swiping the whole jug of wine, “At least find me a pretty one.”
She was plain, unbelievably plain. Long, curled brown hair desperately in need of a trim, a poorly tailored dress that needed to be more fitted at the waist, stature too small and unremarkable to stand up to anyone of importance. Oh, and picked cuticles, the spots of red eking out from her nail beds. Mayhaps she and his mother would get along just jolly, then. She was to be his prospective wife and bear him more heirs. He wanted to shove it back in the council’s face and say he has an heir, his only living child, Jaehaera. Melancholy and withdrawn as she was, she was his heir.
The council disagreed, allowing Borros Baratheon to shove his last unwed daughter at him like a piece of meat that no one wanted.
Her eyes wafted up to glance at him, every move of hers uncertain, cautious. She was so deathly aware of each minute gesture, her posture having to be adjusted to straighten every few minutes. 
Lyanna Baratheon wasn’t of prominent knowledge and reputation like her sisters, aptly named ‘the Four Storms’ – she didn’t remind Aegon at all of a stag or a doe, but rather something more diminutive and easily killed, like a prey animal. Mayhaps a rabbit– it would be an apt description, as she had giant eyes, brown –almost black– in their hue, a shiny glaze over them as she stared at the ground. Every so often, their eyes would meet, brown to violet, and she would look apt as Aegon thought she was.
A rabbit begging for its life.
Borros Baratheon stood beside her, murmuring something into her ear. He was a boorish oaf of a man who couldn’t even read– Aegon wasn’t the brightest star in the sky when it came to matters of literature, that’d always been his brother’s realm, but atleast he could fucking read. He thought it quite hysterical that his house sigil was that of a Stag when Lord Borros reminded him more of a boar. Mayhaps he should change it. 
As he continued to whisper to his daughter, her expression went from sordid to panicked, then back to sordid. She wasn’t very good at masking her emotions– she would need to learn if she were to survive at the Keep. The tips of her fingers twitched slightly and she was obviously holding herself back from tearing into her nail beds. 
“Lord Borros,” Aegon broke the tension, “Perhaps I should show your daughter around the gardens while you speak with my grandsire. We have the most beautiful gardens here and I’d imagine that Storm’s End wouldn’t have something quite as grand,” he glazed over Borros’ blank stare, “due to the storms, of course.” 
Lord Baratheon adjusted his doublet, which was far too small for him— did the Stormlands not have a proper fucking tailor? — and nodded, “Yes, that would be amicable. It would do some good to familiarize yourself with one another before the wedding in a week’s time.” 
Aegon’s throat felt parched. He knew that they were speeding things along but he didn’t anticipate it to be this fast. Grabbing a bottle of wine from a nearby servant, he descended back to Lyanna, intent on whisking her away as quickly as possible. Not because he found her particularly interesting, rather the opposite, but he needed an excuse to get out of the room. The insistent thrum of his pulse in his neck was all too loud. His arm looped under Lyanna’s, “Come, my lady,” he hummed, trying to seem like he was somewhat collected and kingly and not on the edge of chugging the entire carafe of wine and smashing it over the next poor fucker’s head. “To the gardens.” 
He practically strung along the poor girl, who hurriedly agreed and tried her best to keep up. “Y-yes, your grace,” she mewled, her feet tapping on the ground at irregular rhythms as she hung onto Aegon’s arm, bouncing against the stone walkway toward the gardens, “King’s Landing is… very beautiful, my king– your subject must be very pleased.”
As they descended the cobbled steps down to the garden, Aegon eyed her warily, “Did your father tell you to say that?”
“N-no, not exactly–” 
“He did. Anyone with half of a brain and a working nose knows that this accursed city smells of shit. You shouldn’t lie, my lady. You’re quite bad at it,” he took a small breath as he looked at her expression– the poor thing was on the verge of tears. “You will get better in time,” he continued with a slightly softer tone, “This Keep is full of great liars and you don’t seem… too much like your father. I am sure you will pick up quickly. How old are you?”
“Nineteen, your grace.” 
Aegon resisted giving a derisive snort, instead uncorking the wine bottle and tossing the stopper into the grass, “You’re quite young, then,” he took a swig, feeling the bitter tasting liquid coat his mouth, “All the better for heirs. Or so I’m sure that we’ve both been told.” 
In truth, some would consider her a bit late in age to be married– but Aegon didn’t care as long as he wasn’t robbing the cradle like his father did to his mother, or Daemon to Rhaenyra. He was twenty-six himself and tried to remember what he was like when he was nineteen; he couldn’t exactly pinpoint an exact memory. It was mostly a blur.
“I am… hopeful to provide you with many healthy heirs, my king,” she replied, her words sounding rehearsed. She is as poor of an actress as she is a liar, then. She paused for a moment, looking at her hands, “I… do not wish to replace the late queen, her grace, Helaena– I merely wish to fulfill my duty to the realm and my family– I am terribly… sorry to hear about Helaena, my king. As well as your prince brothers. War is a terrible thing.”
Aegon blinked profusely a few times. Her words after her pause sounded genuine– mayhaps she is capable of thinking for herself. She seemed… softhearted, even if a bit naive. He regarded the bottle in his hand for a moment, swishing it around. No one had really apologized to him for his losses– the enumerable amount of them he’s gone through these past few years. They all bowed their heads and wouldn’t meet his gaze, as if their blood was all on his hands. Mayhaps it was. He swallowed, his mouth pursed in a thin line, “... War is indeed a terrible thing, my lady.”
They walked for a few hours around the garden, talking about various things. Aegon still found her quite boring and uninteresting to look at– she wasn’t ugly by any means, and could be considered pretty, but she was just so terribly plain that it bored him to tears. Her speech was all faux and he tried to eek out any genuineness to her words through different subjects– all to no avail. It seemed the sore subject of Aegon’s family was the only thing to break her from her carefully crafted script.
Eventually, they parted ways– for the better, he thought. She was a fine match, a fine age, a fine vessel for his seed to produce a royal heir and whatever other innocuous thing his grandsire needed from him. 
What a terribly dreadful life he’s let himself sink into.
That night, he drained two bottles of Dornish Red, falling much into the same state of mind he had when he was nineteen. Wandering to the Street of Silk, he whored and drank himself into a state of sloven mania.
In the midst of his drunken ramblings, he wondered if he could ever find someone who would truly love him or if his opportunity had already passed.
– 
The wedding followed in the timeline that Borros and Otto had set– as quickly as possible. The council dipped into the coffers to make it happen, it was to be an extravagant event, a new beginning for the realm. Artisans, fine bakers and cooks were all hired to make the wedding a facet, stringing up red, green, yellow and black banners, making dozens of delicate pastries and even cooking six turduckens to line the tables.
It was all lavish and opulent– and Lyanna could not feel more out of place. The past week at the Keep had been a whirlwind of planning, gown fittings, flower picking. Her sisters were there in attendance, speaking up more than she on what to pick. It was fine with her, as she couldn’t bring herself to care for it. The gaudiness of it all made her feel ill. 
She had only met with Aegon the one time, the first time. Lyanna felt she made a terrible impression— she was so nervous that day that she’d vomited twice that morning, all while her father screamed at her to get it right, to say exactly as he told her to. For the most part, she had done just that— played the perfect little puppet for him and said all those empty words that meant nothing. 
She was meant to see Aegon at least three more times before the wedding, as there were a few dinners arranged between their two families. He had been absent for all, his mother citing that he was unable to attend for various reasons but nothing overtly specific.
Alicent Hightower was a nice lady— she was warm to Lyanna, talking to her at the dinners when no one else had bothered. She was the person who Lyanna felt most comfortable with in the Keep and was grateful that she was to be her good-mother. Alicent was a bit frayed at the ends from the loss of her other children; she was haunted, her eyes constantly red-rimmed and murmuring prayers under her breath. 
The morning of the wedding, Lyanna was summoned to Alicent’s solar to get ready. 
She knocked on the door, “Your grace— it’s Lyanna.”
“Come in, my dear,” she called out, a maid opening the door to let her in. “How are you feeling this morn?” Alicent was perched on the settee when Lyanna came in, and immediately rushed over to her, taking the young girl’s hands in hers. 
“Quite nervous,” Lyanna responded, her hands quivering ever so slightly, even under the warm touch of Alicent. “May I speak plainly, your grace?” 
“Of course,” she ushered Lyanna to the loveseat and had the maid pour them both tea, then promptly shooed her out. “It’s just us now, speak your mind, sweetling.” 
“I-I am afraid that… Aegon will not like me. I fear I didn’t make a good first impression— he seemed quite bored of me.” 
Alicent took a sip of her tea, giving a small sigh. “I will do you the favor of not sugarcoating words and speak plainly like you have done with me. Aegon will not like you,” she pursed her lips into a thin line, twisting the signet ring on her finger, “Aegon is a creature of debauchery and sin— and you are a good, pious girl. You are like oil and water.” her brown eyes met Lyanna’s, her expression softening. The two women had a fast camaraderie, praying together each morning in the Sept. “You… may not love him, or even like him— but there is a duty upon you to fulfill. It is a burden we carry as women, my dear. We are always behest to the men in our lives,” she stopped, her eyes glazing over with a far-away look, “I don’t mean to be discouraging. You are a… good hearted young woman and I believe you can channel that into something positive as the Queen.” 
Lyanna felt her stomach quivering at Alicent’s words, her skin flushing. “I… appreciate your plain speech, your grace. I just… do not wish to displease him.”
Alicent’s mouth twitched at each end as if she were mulling something over. “It will be hard to please him, my dear. You are nothing like the women that usually please him,” she wiped a hand down her face, “You remind me so much of myself, Lyanna. Pushed into something you are… ill-suited for. You’re a sweet and kindhearted girl and I don’t wish for you to tear yourself apart on the inside and feel as if you’re not good enough for him– you are, you are too good for him, too pure, too-” Alicent took a measured breath, “You are not what he wants and you never will be, my dear. It will do you well to know that now rather than years later. There is always someone else in their eyes– women like you and I do what we can. I pray you will find things that keep you happy.”
Lyanna picked up her tea cup with trembling hands, taking a sip. There seemed to be more to Alicent’s words than them just being about Aegon– but she didn’t want to push it. Dipping her head, she thanked her good-mother-to-be once more.
– 
“Wake up, wake up!” a voice boomed, rousing Aegon from his haze as a carafe of cold water was poured on him. The girl latched to his cock like a leech let out a shrill scream and scrambled away.
“Fucking hell– who the fuck?” Aegon slurred, blinking profusely half a dozen times before his vision came into focus. It was one of the Kingsguard, one more behest to his grandsire than him– and his grandsire, Otto, who had the now empty container of water in hand.
“Wake up, you ingrate,” Otto growled, grabbing his grandson by his collar, hoisting him up onto his feet, smacking his cheek gently. “Your wedding is in two hours and you’re passed out in a whorehouse. You’re the king, for the Seven’s sake– I thought you left this debauchery behind, atleast have your whores at the keep instead of being in these pits of sin.” 
“You can put a number of different hats on a bear, you know,” Aegon slumped against the wall, “Many kinds of hats; a hood, a felted dante, a linen coif, a cowl, a straw hat, a jester’s garb– heh, that’d be quite funny–” 
“Is there a point to your drunken babbling, Aegon?”
“Yes, ah– you can put many types of hats on a bear and change its look but at the end of the day, its still just a fucking bear,” he straightened out his stained tunic, “Point being– you can stick a crown on my head, put a sword in my hand and put me through a war to keep me on that fucking throne but guess what, grandsire, I am still just a bear at the end of the day.”
Otto stared at him, brow furrowed. “You aren’t a bear, you’re a dragon and a king, so act like it. You are getting married in two hours and you look like a sloven mess. You’re lucky that Borros is as blind for power and recognition as he is or he would take his daughter back to Storm’s End and you’ll be stuck with the next best choice.” 
“That boring rube of a girl was my best choice? I must be fucked, then, either way.”
Otto and his Kingsguard dog dragged Aegon back to the keep, and observed while maids scrubbed him clean, red and raw. He was put in a nicely fit green suit, his House cloak strapped to his shoulders. It was a whirlwind of events that led up to the doors of the Sept being opened and Aegon ushered in.
His stomach churned and he felt sixteen again, forced to wed his sister. He remembered being hardly conscious throughout the ceremony, fumbling over his cloak and practically smothering Helaena in it.
He looked down the aisle at Lyanna, who was dressed in a pale yellow dress with long, flowing sleeves. She had a high collar with black lining and antler embroidery all over the garment. It was actually well fitted this time, likely thanks to his mother, and it turned out she actually had a figure, with plush hips and a well-endowed chest. Her brown hair was half up, half down with an assortment of intricate braids– it reminded him of how Rhaenyra used to wear her hair and he wondered who thought to style it like that, and he wondered if he was the only one who noticed.
As he walked down the aisle, he saw his mother in the front row– she was crying, thumbing a pendant in the shape of a Seven Pointed Star. 
The ceremony was a blur to him, as he put the cloak over her shoulders and sealed their union with a kiss– a chaste one. She tasted like lavender tea. As he pulled back, he noticed that her eyes were rimmed with tears, and he felt the familiar sting of tears in his own eyes.
The feast was much the same, as he drank himself into a numbing stupor. He only had one moment of clarity, as some of the rowdy guests began to poke and prod at Lyanna, talking about the bedding ceremony. She looked visibly uncomfortable, picking at her nail beds under the table. Something about the sight of her discomfort and pain stirred something in Aegon that he couldn’t name– maybe he was feeling sentimental from the alcohol, but a surge of possessiveness flowed through him. He wasn’t known to be possessive, much the opposite in fact. But the egregious actions of these men pawing at his wife– their fucking queen, mind them– making disgusting insinuations. If she were a whore, it’d be different– but she was so… innocent, so coerced in all of this just as he was, it felt wrong. 
Aegon snapped, slamming his cup down, “There won’t be any fucking bedding ceremony,” he growled, “My wife and I will be retiring to our chambers– alone. And if… any one of you lays another paw on her, you will lose it.”
Lyanna stared at Aegon, those huge brown eyes wide. Her lips were parted slightly as he once again strung her along the halls to his– no, their– chambers. She was shaking.
Once in their chambers, he let go of her, uncorking another bottle of wine and taking a swig. “I presume you think that this is where I will fuck you, hm? Stick my prick in you and make an heir and we will all live happily ever after like a child’s storybook.”
Lyanna stared down at her feet. “It… it would be… the duty of husband and wife to consummate–”
“Fuck duty! I’m not going to fuck some weepy eyed maiden because my old fuck grandsire said so. I don’t have need of you in that way.”
Her hands were trembling as she unlaced the back of her dress, her movements autonomous– she was doing what she thought she should be doing in this situation. She began to undress, slipping her gown off and leaving her in her silken shift, which didn’t leave much to the imagination. The sight of her body, soft, stirred something within him for a moment, like a spark trying to ignite kindling.
“We don’t have to do this, Lyanna,” he murmured, using her name for the first time. He put down the wine bottle. “We can wait.”
“N-no! Please, I want to– please,” Lyanna whispered, practically pleading for it, as if she wanted to get it over with. “Please.”
Aegon rubbed a hand down his face. “Get on the bed then. Lie on your stomach.”
She did as she was told, laying flat on the bed on her stomach. She clutched some pillows as a lifeline.
He knew he should warm her up, he knew that they should want to touch one another, he should want to see her face– but he didn’t. He couldn’t bear to look at her face, or touch her for longer than was necessary. He barely shimmied down his trousers before he began poking at her entrance with a half-hard cock, partially trying to give her a moment to get used to the sensations, and partially trying to find where he was supposed to stick it– he knew, of course, he’d fucked his way through King’s Landing and then some, but he hadn’t fucked many maidens, and especially not when he was blind drunk.
Eventually, he hit home and slid into her, his movements slow at first. He could hear her whimpers and knew they weren’t of pleasure. It reminded him of his wedding night with Helaena where they’d both cried– all the memories of that night came flooding back, causing him to falter.
Lyanna looked back at him, her eyes puffy and red, “I-Is it over?” 
Aegon swallowed sharply, cringing as he stared at her. The moment of arousal he had– purely from stimulation alone– was gone now, his half-hard erection deflating completely. “Fuck– yes, it’s over.” he didn’t have the heart to tell her that it in fact had hardly started before it was over– and not in the good way. He pulled out of her, taking in a deep breath as he walked to the water basin and soaked a cloth with warm water, offering it to her. “Wipe yourself– it will help with the… pain… and blood.” 
She took the cloth, wiping away the remnants of their half-fulfilled consummation. “I-I’m… sorry,” Lyanna whispered, sniffling, “I know I am not what you want.” 
His mouth was pulled into a thin line as he turned away. “You’re right. You aren’t.”
They fell into bed next to each other and Aegon’s mind was swimming as he tried to sleep. He didn’t know what he wanted. He never wanted any of this– he just wanted to be a kid again with no responsibilities, with all of his siblings, even Rhaenyra– he would’ve… he would’ve been nicer to all of them, he wouldn’t of picked on Aemond, he would’ve gotten to know Rhaenyra better, he would’ve played with Helaena’s bugs, he would’ve taught Daeron all of the secrets of the castle. He would’ve told his grandsire to fuck off when they were to crown him and had Sunfyre char him to a crisp and given the crown to Rhaenyra.
He would’ve been loved then.
He just wanted to be loved.
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laurancezvahlslefteyebrow · 7 months ago
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TRAVIS TIME TRAVIS TIME
i had such a hard time drawing him i was so scared i wasn’t doing him justice 😭
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headcanon time babeyy
His natural form is a cross between human and demon, naturally. he only allows himself to be like this when he’s alone or with Eseryt. He’s at his most powerful like this (not including demon form), as shapeshifting causes strain if he holds it for too long.
He can shape shift into any living creature, but he cannot turn into specific people.
His father has the ability to enter his mind and puppet him around if his defenses are down. In order for Travis to be weak enough for this, he must have put some strain on his power, like holding his human form for too long *wink wink*
When his father is in control of his body, his eyes turn from green to purple.
Transforming into his demon form puts a great strain on his body, and can be very painful. He only willingly does it if he absolutely needs a power boost.
His mother, Olle Valkrum, was trained her whole life to fight the Demon Warlock. He had been feuding with her family and their island since Enki’s time. Olle, being a descendant of Enki himself.
The Demon Warlock one day disguised himself as a man named Micheal and whooed Olle. He spent months gaining her trust as Micheal, while simultaneously fighting her as the Demon Warlock as to not draw attention. Eventually Olle became pregnant and gave birth to Travis. Appalled at this inhuman creature she created, this is when Micheal revealed himself to be the Demon Warlock all along. Olle raised Travis to the best of her abilities, training him the same way she herself had been trained, until one fateful day when she lost her life.
Shortly after everyone returned from the Irene Realm (which he of course had no idea about), he started having dreams of a girl with red hair and a scarred face. He could interact with her, but he could not touch, speak to, or hear her.
A while after the dreams began, he came across this very girl in the woods one day. Assuming it was a trick by his father, he rushed her. Though later she revealed herself to be Eseryt Yrva, a girl who’s group crashed on Enki Island and were just looking for a way out.
He and Eseryt eventually became very close and romantically involved. No Travlyn doesn’t happen (sorry guys). It never felt right to me. Not only was Katelyn always mean to Travis, but I’ve always thought she was a lesbian. (She is in my rewrite)
Travis is NOT a creepy perv!!! He’s just socially awkward and doesn’t understand social norms or ques. He doesn’t have much of a filter and will often unintentionally make people uncomfortable or offend them, though he always means well.
His lack of filter is part of why Es likes him. He’s honest, which is rare.
He’s a lot smarter than he lets on, or that people give him credit for. He has a lot of time to himself, which he spends reading and researching. He also is an incredibly skilled fighter and survivalist.
He’s never been fond of fighting. Much more preferring things like reading, writing, and painting. He’ll paint or write about whatever he sees around him.
Once he learns certain social norms and ques, he sticks to them religiously. He only wants to make people feel ok and safe around him.
He’d sacrifice himself for the people he cares about in a heartbeat a thousand times over and over again. trait he gained from his mother.
Travis was born female but shortly after he was born, he physically shifted to male and stayed that way. He can shift between male and female (or neither/both) at will, but prefers to present as male.
He generally uses he/him but doesn’t mind they/them. But please not It. That makes him feel more disconnected from his human side.
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weyrwolfen · 5 months ago
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Caveat Emptor: Chapter 1 - Mens Rea
Rating: T
Characters: Gen, Commanders Fox, Thorn, Thire, and Stone
Warnings: canon-typical violence; references to self-harm, injuries, loss of autonomy
I will be posting future chapters here on Tumblr and here on Ao3
“… require to complete your mission?”
Fox’s right hand hovered over his left vambrace. A light was flashing on the right side of his armor’s control panel, signaling the completion of some task. He’d been typing something…
Little gods, his head hurt.
“CC-1010, what do you require to complete your mission?” the same voice, a very familiar voice, repeated.
“Thorn?” Fox asked, looking up. His vision was blurred, but not so severely that he couldn’t make out Thorn, Stone, and Scav lined up on the other side of his desk, all three fully armored and standing at precise parade rest.
Thorn’s shoulders dropped ever so slightly, and he asked, “You back with us, Fox?”
Fox would have liked to answer, but his head was pounding viciously in time with his pulse. His stomach heaved, and he tore at his helmet, pulling it off with shaking hands.
Someone shoved a wastebin on the desk in front of him, just in time to catch the mess as his stomach violently emptied itself.
Thorn cursed a steady stream of invectives in at least three languages. Someone pried Fox’s helmet out of his grip, and a gloved hand landed on the back of his neck, heavy and grounding. He had no idea who it was, and he wasn’t exactly in a position to look up and check at the moment.
Ration bars and nutrient slurry had about the same texture going down as they did coming back up, but the accompanying stomach acids bit at the back of his throat and burned inside his sinuses where some of the vomit had taken a decidedly unwelcome alternate escape route. All of that would have been unpleasant enough, but Fox was much more concerned with the way every move, every twitch, sent burning agony searing behind his eyes.
Something metallic pressed against the side of his neck. There was a quiet beep, a soft hiss, and then a wave of tingling cold.
The pain receded, dragged down by a now-familiar cocktail of powerful painkillers, anti-nausea medications, and stims to try to counter the mental fog and artificial exhaustion caused by the other two. Fox locked his knees, hands braced on his desk to either side of the wastebin to stop them from trembling too obviously.
He karking hated his men seeing him like this.
Scratch that, he just karking hated this. Full stop.
Fox spat in the bin, trying to clear some of the taste from his mouth. “How long?” he asked, throat raw and voice correspondingly hoarse.
“Four hours,” Thorn answered somewhere off to Fox’s left. “We think.”
Four hours. Not so long, all things considered.
Four hours during which his highly-trained, highly-competent body was up and wandering around Coruscant, doing kark even knew what, utterly outside of his conscious control.
Fox forced himself to keep breathing slowly and evenly, clamping down on the sick horror that was creeping down his spine. He really ought to be used to this by now. It certainly happened to him enough.
“Here,” Scav said, voice no longer filtered through his helmet’s vocoder. The hand on Fox’s nape vanished, and an open canteen appeared in his slowly clearing field of vision.
He accepted it, took a small sip to rinse out his mouth, and spat again. A drop of blood landed in the bin, bright red against the rest of the yellowish mess and empty stim wrappers.
“I’m bleeding,” he admitted flatly. They’d been tracking his symptoms for a while now, trying to figure out what the kriff was going on. The headaches and nausea were getting consistently worse. The blood was new though.
“Let me see,” Scav said. It wasn’t a request.
Fox straightened, stance unnaturally stiff to counter his lingering unsteadiness, and gestured vaguely towards his face. Scav just pressed his lips together in a thin, unhappy line before fishing a few squares of sterile pads out of his medkit.
“Here,” he said, handing Fox the pads. “Pinch your nostrils closed with that and tip your head forward. Not backward. You’ve already puked once today.”
The look Fox leveled at Scav was scathing.
The medic just stared back at him, thoroughly unintimidated and unimpressed.
Maybe Fox was slipping. Maybe the shakiness and wastebin of puke on his desk was detracting from his usual ability to intimidate his troopers. Or maybe the Kaminoans electroshocked any kind of reasonable fear response out of medic-track clones. Who even knew at this point?
Fox pinched his nostrils closed and tipped his head forward, glowering out from underneath his lowered brows.
Scav ignored him and instead turned his attention to pulling the liner out of Fox’s wastebin and tying it off. Thank kriff for that.
“What’s the last thing you remember?” Thorn asked, hands gripping the back of the chair on the opposite side of Fox’s desk.
Did they really need to do this standing? Stims or not, Fox’s head was swimming.
Kark it, he was still the commanding officer here. He was going to sit down before he fell down.
“I left Disc in charge of security for Senator Leshro’s press conference to respond to a report of outages affecting the cameras in Thesh 16,” Fox said, lowering himself into his chair. The worn, battered thing was more comfortable than it had any right to be. “I spoke to Odal, something about rodents chewing on the wiring. Someone commed me…”
Whatever these lapses really were, they always started with a comm. That had been the first thing they’d recognized. To date, it was just about the only pattern they’d been able to pin down related to these incidents.
It was difficult even thinking about it. Fox’s mind tried to gloss over the gap, slither away from even considering it. As best as they could tell, these blackouts started as soon as Fox arrived on Coruscant, but it had taken months for him to even recognize that something was happening. They’d been infrequent at first, sporadic, but they were picking up in frequency and duration as time went on.
He should have reported the lapses to the Chancellor as soon as he had realized what was happening, but something always stopped him. The same self-preservation instinct they’d all learned back on Kamino, where hiding weaknesses of any kind was necessary to their survival. Sheev Palpatine smiled at all the right times and said all of the right words, but every time Fox was in the man’s presence, he left in a cold sweat. It was irrational; Fox couldn’t identify a single piece of solid evidence to explain his body’s involuntary reactions. But there were only two things he trusted without thought or question: his instincts and his brothers. Everything else had to earn it.
Especially natborn politicians with gentle smiles and cold, sharp eyes.
And so Fox had instead informed a select number of his brothers.
As it turned out, he wasn’t the only one experiencing missing time and unexplainable inconsistencies in his reports. His lapses had just been happening more frequently than the others’.
The fact that he was not the only one had sunk Fox’s initial idea for how to fix the situation. A single death among the Guard’s commanders could be made to look like an accident. But all four of them would be nearly impossible to conceal. And even then, it wouldn’t guarantee that the underlying threat had been removed. If they were all already compromised, then there was no telling how extensive the problem was.
And if anyone outside of the Guard learned about their situation, chances were good they’d all be decommissioned en masse. His own death Fox could accept. But not the deaths of all the brothers under his command.
So they investigated. They’d had no other choice. None of them had been trained for it, but on Coruscant, they’d had to learn. As more and more duties were piled on their heads, they’d had to learn fast.
But finding any actionable leads proved to be difficult.
As the most frequently affected, tracking Fox’s actual movements seemed like a critical first step. However, it rapidly became apparent that one of the first things he – or rather CC-1010 – did when he received those comms was to deactivate his armor’s recording devices. The three times they’d tried hiding a tracking chip or recording device inside Fox’s armor, CC-1010 had removed them, too.
Fox was fairly certain that the others had figured out another way to keep track of his movements. They never said anything concrete, and he made sure to not ask.
Now, if he could just remember something. Anything.
Four kriffing hours. There was no telling what he might have done.
Scav was talking again, words buzzing against the edges of Fox’s wandering attention. He needed to focus, but the meds were making it difficult.
The meds. Sure. Not like a command-track clone would be weak enough to disassociate in the comfort and security of his own office.
Medical scans. Scav wanted permission to perform a medical scan, to check Fox for additional injuries.
Fox nodded.
It took a few minutes for Scav to run his tests and interpret the results. Minutes Fox didn’t want to admit he needed to re-engage with his surroundings.
The others just stood guard, Thorn at Fox’s side and Stone blocking the door.
Fox was mildly dehydrated and his blood chemistry was beyond irregular. The scanner flagged Fox’s brainwaves as ‘anomalous,’ whatever that meant. He had a variety of minor cuts and contusions scattered across his body, but who on base didn’t? There was nothing concrete in those scans, nothing actionable. Scav still wanted Fox to report to the medbay for observation after the other two commanders were done with him.
There was no point in arguing. At least no one tried to object when Fox gathered up a stack of datapads on the way out of the room. The work of running the Guard didn’t disappear just because Fox’s body took the occasional ‘involuntary side-mission.’
Fox was just steady enough on his feet to march down to the room they converted for their off-the-books investigation, buckets back on as an unspoken message to any passing Guard that they were not to be bothered.
When they arrived, Fox put his own codes into the security panel and pushed his way inside. Anyone searching for blueprints of the building would only see a small broom closet surrounded by storage rooms too full of shelves and crates to make it obvious that their dimensions didn’t quite match the ones recorded in the official floorplans. And if any trespassing natborn did get a little too nosy for their own good, the door panel would return a rather benign-looking error message and send out a security ping in response to anything other than a Guard commander’s personal codes.
The Guard’s slicers did good work, and all of them knew when to refrain from noticing things around base.
Fox had never meant for things to go this far, involving more and more of their men in this deception, but they were all in too deep to course correct now.
There was a medical cot situated in one corner of the space. Fox made his way towards it, placing the datapads on a nearby table before turning to face his brothers, hands out and palms up. Waiting.
Thorn and Stone worked over Fox’s body like it was an active crime scene.
Maybe that was what it was. Maybe that was exactly what Fox was.
They dusted his plate for fingerprints and swabbed his gauntlets for chemical residues. They misted him from bucket to boots with luminol and sampled anything that fluoresced. They imaged and tweezed, bagged and tested. All according to cobbled together CSF protocol, all completely off the books. The terminals they were using weren’t networked with the rest of the base. The equipment had been reported as damaged and disposed of in the Guard’s official inventories or ‘borrowed’ from CSF surplus.
Data started to roll in, providing disturbing hints, but no solid answers.
His blasters’ charge packs were at 87% and 92%. They should have been full.
There was blood on his gauntlets, just a single drop nearly lost against the red paint, and even less than that on his right pauldron. The sample on his hands tested as clone-standard. It was most likely his own, probably from his nosebleed earlier. The sample from his pauldron was human but lacked the genetic markers of a Fett clone. To get any more detailed identification, they’d need to run the sample through the CSF’s database, and that would require some creativity and the help of one of their slicers.
In addition to the blood, Fox had traces of chemical accelerants on his hands and greasy soot on his kama, something organic and too degraded from the heat to properly identify.
They brushed all sorts of fine particulates out of the treads of his boots, fibers and foodstuffs and flecks of plascrete. Some of it was identifiable – the red filaments were consistent with the carpeting in several of the hallways in the Senate dome, the keratinous ovals were shed massif scales, the brown grains were crystals of instant caf powder – and some of it was not. Fox doubted any of it would be useful, but Thorn and Stone bagged and tagged it all anyway, storing it away for later reference, just in case.
Then his armor came off and they started the same process on his blacks.
More blood, more chemical residues. Two silver hairs, human or near-human in origin.
Then on his skin.
The entire process was invasive as all kriff, but no more so than their medical screenings had been back on Kamino. At least here, he had datapads of busywork to distract himself from the poking and prodding, swabbing and sticking.
At least he was safe among brothers he trusted.
“Huh,” Stone said thoughtfully. “Thorn, come here.”
Fox looked up from the requisition forms he’d been signing and found his brother hovering in front of him holding a small UV stick next to Fox’s cheek.
Thorn, who’d been entering something into the terminal, immediately dropped what he was doing and walked over to the exam table.
“What does that look like to you?” Stone asked, passing the stick from left to right in front of Fox’s face.
Fox’s eyes tracked the light for a moment, and then took a moment to assess Stone’s scrupulously neutral expression and Thorn’s badly concealed fury.
“Don’t touch it,” Thorn finally said, turning on his heel and going back to the desk.
Fox caught Stone’s eye. “Tell me,” he said, tone just shy of a direct order.
“There’s an oval-shaped bruise here,” Stone said, fingers hovering near Fox’s left cheek without actually touching. “And four more here,” he continued, shifting to Fox’s right cheek and down towards the underside of his jaw. “They’re too faint to see under regular light just yet, but the spacing suggests–”
“A handprint,” Fox interrupted. Someone had grabbed him by the face, palm over his mouth, and squeezed hard enough to bruise. Why? He took a deep breath, ruthlessly stamping out the instinctive need to raise a hand to his cheek to press down on the bruising so he could feel it. He could imagine several dozen different scenarios for how he might have gotten those bruises, each worse than the last. “Any idea whose?”
“Standard human to near-human digit number and configuration, no evidence of claws or other anatomical markers,” Stone reported, keeping the report strictly professional. “We’ll need measurements to be sure, but I’d guess a hand on the larger end of medium human-standard. And there is some kind of residue coating each fingerprint.”
Thorn was back with a recording device in hand. “I need images before we try pulling samples,” he explained unnecessarily. Fox knew perfectly well how this all went.
White light images, then UV. Adhesive peels, then chemical swabs. The chances they could pull a usable print off his Fox’s skin were next to nonexistent, but measurements of the bruising and chemical analyses of the residues might prove useful.
What were the chances?
Thorn and Stone took blood sample, saliva samples, sweat swabs, kriffing urine, but they finally let Fox get into a set of clean blacks and his thoroughly decontaminated plate. Thorn stayed behind to keep running analyses while Stone delivered Fox to the medbay along with the first round of test results.
It took very little bullying from Scav to convince Fox to take a real water shower in the medbay’s ‘fresher. Fox felt unclean, in every possible interpretation of the word.
His usual room was ready and waiting for him, thin scratchy sheets turned down like a sad attempt at kriffing five-star penthouse hospitality.
Scav made an appearance right about the same time Fox had started approving the updates to the Guard’s patrol schedules. The medic ran an IV and hung what he swore was just a saline drip above Fox’s cot.
It wasn’t only saline. The sedatives kicked in when Fox was only half-way through his stack of prisoner-transfer requests.
Medics were meddling shabuire. All of them.
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“Fox, wake up.”
The voice sounded distant and muffled, like Fox was hearing it through water. He was usually a light sleeper, but the vague, dark dream he was having seemed resistant to letting him go completely.
“Kriff, how much did Scav give him?”
“Enough to keep him under for a full eight hours.”
“So, enough to kill a mid-sized bantha. What can you give him to get him back on his feet?”
That sounded like Thire. Maybe. But Thire didn’t have red-shot, yellow eyes.
“That’s really not a good idea. His bloodwork is still a trash fire.”
“We don’t have a choice, it’s the Jedi calling.”
“Kriff. Right. Hold on.”
Fox drifted, not really awake and not really asleep, something like dread tugging at the edges of his consciousness. Finally something prickled along his senses, tipping the scales towards wakefulness.
The dull, throbbing ache behind his eyes reasserted itself. It was nothing in comparison to before, of course, but deeply unpleasant all the same. The sound he made was half protest, half dire threat.
“Rise and shine,” a familiar voice said, full of easy sarcasm and false cheer. Thire.
“Get karked,” Fox said, but his voice sounded rough and still half-drugged. He cracked his eyes open and glared at Thire.
That earned a brief snort of amusement. “There’s my cheerful commander.”
“I can and will kill you.”
“Hold that thought,” Thire said, craning around to look at something off to Fox’s right. “I need the room.”
Fox turned his head to the side and caught sight of Clave, Scav’s second, backing out of the door and shutting it behind him with an audible click.
It took some doing, but Fox managed to shove himself up into a sitting position without tangling himself in his IV line. “I take it there’s a situation,” he said. It wasn���t a question.
The false front of teasing fell away, leaving Thire’s expression suddenly grim. “The Jedi council has requested your presence in the Chancellor’s office at your earliest convenience.”
‘At your earliest convenience’ was quite the loaded phrase. Fox could only assume that it meant, ‘Drop what you’re working on and go now.’
“Why the Chancellor’s office?” he asked, scrubbing a hand across his eyes. His blacks were still in reasonable shape, folded on the shelf next to his neatly stacked armor, which Thorn had scrubbed down to the molecular level yesterday. Fox could be presentable and on his way in a few minutes, just as soon as the lingering sedatives lost their fight with the new influx of stimulants in his bloodstream.
It was a kriffing wonder of Kaminoan engineering that his liver hadn’t given out months ago.
And Thire still hadn’t answered Fox’s question.
He looked up and found Thire watching him, expression gone impossibly darker. Fox was about to snap at his subordinate commander when Thire finally answered.
“The Chancellor is missing.”
The words sent Fox’s stomach into freefall, but Thire wasn’t done speaking.
“It looks like you might have been the last person who saw him yesterday.”
That didn’t make any sense, unless…
“I didn’t have a meeting with the Chancellor yesterday,” Fox said, voicing the obvious protest even though he already knew what Thire was going to say. He balled his hands into fists on top of his scratchy sheets.
Something in Thire’s eyes looked anguished, but his voice was as even and steely as before when he said, “Yes, you did.”
AN: This is something of a sequel to Clocking Time, not that you need to have read it to understand this one. Just call it the logical next step when you're in the jaws of a rabid plot bunny.
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lunajay33 · 9 months ago
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New World🍂Part.3
Summary:You’ve made it to the cdc and a drunken night changes things between you and Daryl, but will it change your friendship for the better or worse?
Part.2
•Masterlist•
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The CDC was our last resort and after screaming and beginning we got in and everything finally felt secure, Jenner showed us to the rooms and even said there was hot water
You threw your bag on the bed as Daryl was setting up the spare couch in the room
“What are you doing?” You asked confused
“Settin up the bed, I ain’ sleepin on the floor”
“And you’re not sleeping in the couch, after sharing a sleeping bag for weeks I think we can share a bed Daryl” you laughed
“Fine” he huffed as he threw himself on the bed, putting his arms behind his head
“Do you wanna take a shower first?”
“Nah go ahead imma look around this place, maybe find us somethin ta drink” he said
So you got some clothes and hopped in the shower and god did it feel good, to finally get all the builds up dirt and grime of your skin. You finished up quickly not wanting to hog all the water and saw Daryl back on the bed with a bottle of what looked like to be some kind of liquor
“Ya want some?” He asked after he took a gulp of it
Usually you’d decline but why not, you found somewhere and you needed a night of relaxation, so you jumped on the bed next to him and took the bottle
You tipped it back and the liquid burned going down
“Ugh that’s awful” you whined handing it back over
~~~~~~~~
Dinner came around so you both went down and enjoyed a fun night with the group, you could feel the alcohol kicking it and it helped you unwind
You could see Daryl was too, he was a definite chatter box when he got tipsy and you always thought it was cute, but I mean he was always kinda like that with you but seeing him open up around others was nice
“Drink up Glenn I wanna see how red yer face’ll get” he said making you laugh
As everyone slowly dispersed you took Daryl’s hand stopping him from his conversation with T.dog
“Wanna go to our room D?” You asked a little bit slurred
“Sure sunshine” he said taking your hand and leading you up to the room with the bottle still in his hand
He plopped down on the bed and put the bottle on the night stand as you stripped from you pants leaving you in one of Daryl’s night shirts and climbed in bed
You turned on your side as he did and you both just looked at each other
“Daryl why are you so beautiful?” You said making him laugh
“I think yer drunk peach” he said putting his hand on you hip
“I know I am, but that doesn’t make me a liar, you really are gorgeous, makes me wish I was one of those lucky ladies you’d hang out with back in school” you were too drunk your filter was gone
“Ya know I never did anything other than make out with them”
“Well they were lucky enough to get atleast some action from The Daryl Dixon” you could see the blush reach his ears and cheeks
“Are ya serious right now?” He asked as you put you hand through his hair
“Of course i think I’ve always had feelings for you, just think they’ve grown as we got older”
“Yer gonna regret all this tomorrow”
“No im not, im just hoping you won’t look at me any different, i still need you Daryl even if you don’t feel the same”
“Ya know why I never went further with any of em?”
“Whys that?” You mumbled
“Cuz they weren’ you”
You knew this was hard for him to say he wasn’t very vocal about his feelings
“I’m glad I decided to have lunch with you that day”
“I am to sunshine, lucky every day” he said as he pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head as you both feel asleep feeling the alcohol take over
~~~~~~~~~~~
You woke up to the sun shining in your eyes and a pounding headache, you sat up rubbing your eyes hoping this headache will go away soon, looking beside you when you heard a groan to see a tired Daryl
“How’re you feeling D?” You asked as he sat up beside you
“ ‘bout as good as I look”
“So amazing” you joked then remembering everything that happened last night
“Stop that” he groaned as he got up and put on his shoes
Maybe he didn’t remember everything, maybe that was a good thing last thing you’d want is for him to be awkward around you and distance himself
You both went down and thankfully breakfast was already made and you were desperate for food to heal this hangover
The day went on and all of a sudden the lights shut off, you ran downstairs to the room Jenner first showed you seeing everyone freaking out
Daryl came over with his chest heaving
“Daryl what’s going on” you asked placing your hand on his arm
“Place is gonna explode, runnin out of energy and the place is locked down”
“What? There has to be a way out, we’ve come so far we can’t die here” you said feeling the panic rise as your eyes started to water
He wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you back against his chest as you slide to the floor crying
“I’m scared D, I don’t wanna die”
“Shhh ya ain’ dyin today, imma get us outta here, imma try” he said squeezing me tight
He got up and took an axe slamming it against the door
After everything happened, the grenade helping you get you, Daryl took your arm dragging you quickly to his truck the building was gonna explode enough second
He pushed you down and covered you with his own body against the seat
The explosion boomed making your ears ring as Daryl sat you up trying to shake you out of your trance
“Hey can ya hear me?” He snapped his fingers in front of you
Your hearing slowly came back as you focused on him
“Daryl……I love you” the rush of a near death experience showed you, you couldn’t waste your precious time with Daryl anymore, he needed to know
He didn’t say anything he held my hand as we all drove away to our next location, your heart felt like it was gonna either, you knew he didn’t like this stuff but god at least I thought he’d say something, you’ve told him you’ve loved him before but in a light hearted way because he was your best friend, but you knew he knew this was different
But at least he knew now, you loved him that’s all he needed to know
—///—///—///—///—///—///—
Part.4<-
Guys I’m in my depression era, I feel like crap ever day but I hope you’re liking the story
Taglist: @deansapplepie @thebadbatch2022 @writer-ann-artist @ghostboneswrites
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pristine-rose · 1 year ago
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✧ LILAC FUMES
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⊹ characters : albedo, ningguang, kaveh, la signora
⊹ synopsis : bad habits ( in which only you can see )
⊹ warnings : all sfw :] , smoking ( ningguang )
⊹ female reader, not proofread, sry for writing albedo again
minors can interact, but do not follow. this is just more sfw to pass the time! will hopefully return to n.sfw soon
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⊹ ALBEDO
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self-doubt
He doesn’t really know what he’s doing.
Brush strokes race rapidly across the canvas, but somehow even quicker than normal. He used more colors than he usually does; He puts in more care than he usually does, too. He paints you so beautifully. Perhaps even a little too perfect, as well. But that’s the way he sees you—no flaws, but in a way that ms so perfectly human, that you’re practically perfectly imperfect. And Archons, he loves that about you.
Is he allowed to say that? Allowed to even think it? Loving you? This is why he paints you—because he can’t show these feelings any other way. And he hates this about himself. Why can’t he kiss you the way other couples do? Why can’t he hug you without being so tense? Why, why, why did he have to be created without a heart?
You deserved someone more human than him, he feared. Someone who would pour his heart out to you so emotionally correct, and not towards a painting like he is doing now.
“Albedo…” He felt his body jump in horrific surprise. “This is…”
Ah. He forgot to lock his studio door. He was so stupid—he could never think logically when it came to you. And now you were here, seeing something he didn’t want you to see. “Albedo,” you called again with your hand over your mouth, “you’re so kind…”
Kind? He could almost scoff You were calling him kind? He was a disgrace here, he could not even understand the basics of love in a way to show it to you physically or verbally; And here you were, staring at him like he was the most thoughtful of lovers. He didn’t know how to show love. In fact, he didn’t even know what he was doing.
And yet, when you ran up to hug him so tightly, he thought, perhaps you knew him better than he knew himself.
☁️ —
⊹ NINGGUANG
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smoking
Smoke-lined silk screen, glass room, bed frame, light post.
A huff, clouds filtered between red lips.
“Don’t you think you’ve had enough of that?”
When she looked up at you, her pearly whites were playing with the wooden tip between her lips, toying with it as if it were like secondary skin. She looked unbothered—genuinely confused, even—as to what exactly you were asking of her in the first place.
“Enough of what?”
You gave no verbal response as your eyes glanced down at her mouth for just a second. Oh. “My pipe?”
“Your smoking problem,” you told; only to, of course, garner a response along the lines of ‘I don’t have a problem’. You could only scoff, really, and the Tianqian wasn’t sure if she liked that. To be almost belittled and scolded like a child ( which, in truth, was not happening at all—she just conditioned herself to see such a false reality ) was not a setting that Ningguang took kindly to. And if you were any other subordinate telling her what to do, you’d be a dartboard by now.
She blew out slowly. Secondhand smoke hit the tip of your nose and your brow raised. “You’re being dramatic,” she rolled her eyes. “Come. Grow up, and give me a—”
“I will not be kissing you with your smoker’s breath.”
She almost cracked the wooden pipe with the clench of her hand from annoyance—but that would be giving into you, wouldn’t it? She almost didn’t like the winning smile that crossed your lips. What she didn’t like even more, however, was being put into place right in front of you.
☁️ —
⊹ KAVEH
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overworking, worrying
“Love you so m— Oh, wait! Do you think you can make another coffee for—?”
His words died into mumbles when he saw the hesitant look you gave him. “Coffee?” you questioned, leaning at the doorframe in a way he didn’t like. A lean like that meant you’d be questioning him. He got nervous when you did that. “At this hour?”
His fingers fiddled with his pen. “I have this big project to hammer out tonight, I fear…”
You only sighed. So simple, yet he could not take his eyes off of you. They were widened with a stir of caffeine and sleep deprivation both simultaneously—the bags under his eyes only causing even more concern. But he stared at you out of habit, for a large part of it was fear and insecurity. His eyes were always, always widened, searching for any trace of disappointment in your gaze. He didn’t like it when you were concerned over him; Not because of annoyance, no.
But over worry you would leave him for his self-sabotaging habits.
“Sorry,” he muttered when you pushed yourself off the doorframe, beginning to make your way towards his desk. “This project is really important to me.”
“You said that all your projects are important to you,” you remarked. The way you tiredly slouched yourself over his back and rested your chin on his shoulder made him only feel worse. “And I can see that,” you continued, “they are your life’s work.”
Kaveh stayed quiet. He stared down at his work-in-progress blueprint, trying his best to look like he was working. And truly, he was working fine just a moment ago—But how could he continue that focus now, when you’re making him self-conscious? He didn’t deserve such concern. You should’ve just left him by now.
“You’re shaking.” He didn’t notice that until you placed your hand on top of his, which was gripping his pen so tightly. “You can continue your masterpiece when you have enough sleep, okay?” you muttered as you kissed his temple. He sighed, melting in his seat. Perhaps he could spare to continue in the morning.
☁️ —
⊹ LA SIGNORA
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secret keeping, overthinking
“Hey. Hey, look at me.”
Her lips landed under your own once she felt the pull of your fingers on her chin. She was seated, feeling your presence loom over her like a sense of warm security that was so reachable in this palace of ice. And yet it left her breathless—she, who was never surprised by anything. She, who was so cautious and careful about who she adored.
“Was there something you needed?” she whispered, feeling small as her breath brushed your lips.
“You were heating up,” you said with such concern, “worryingly so.” Her head slightly tilted back with a widened eye, looking up when the back of your hand gently pressed against her forehead. She could almost smile—you cared so much, and it almost made her hopelessly romantic again. “Are you developing a fever, Signora?”
Her brows furrowed together. No, of course she wasn’t.
“Perhaps I am.”
But she couldn’t tell you that. She couldn’t tell you of the scorching, liquid fire that coarse through her veins. She could not explain the self sacrifice she committed centuries ago, or how she was prepared to die.
“Do you mind walking with me to my room?”
Because why would she tell you, when you would probably become scared of her? You—who was just like everybody else—thought she was perfect and ruthless. But also you, who she could not afford to see the disgusted face of.
For now, you only smiled; And she planned to keep it that way.
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