#I’m well aware he’s a piece of shit lmao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inlovewith-icecream · 6 months ago

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the gleejack brainrot continues but god rachel and finn give me diane and mr peanutbutter vibesss lmao. damn also brittana kinda alskjfslk just whatever couple i dislike i guess lmao

"Your age of stagnation is when you stop growing. For most people, it's when they get married, settle into a routine. You meet someone who loves you unconditionally and never challenges you or wants you to change, and then you never change."

But yeah like the golden retriever partner that falls into the toxic positivity mindset and or doing these grand gestures that prove they dont actually know their partner at all alkfjslkd at least diane never had a sex tape released thank goddd but mr pb sure af didnt know when to keep personal private things personal and private (their engagement for one)

Gleejack brainrot forever <3 no but seriously though yeah I do see the thing with Mr Peanutbutter/Diane actually, I’d also add “You know sometimes I feel like our marriage is like a magic eye poster…and it’s messy. And at first glance, it doesn’t seem to make any sense. And it’s hard to figure out. But sometimes if you squint at it just right everything lines up and it’s the most perfect, beautiful amazing thing. But, I’m so tired of squinting”

Though as for comparisons…idk, I’d say Brittany and Santana fit the theme much better than Finchel? And this is drearily painful to say as a fan of Finchel hatred (akshajajak) and Brittana but idk they just give off that “toxic positivity let’s pretend it’s all okay” vibe a bit more.

If I were to compare Finchel to anything…I’d say more BoJack vibes? And yeah it’s a much more gloomier(?) dynamic (and ofc as much as I hate Finn I am obviously aware he’s not a BoJack level piece of shit aksdjgksl) but its kind of just. That whole ‘yeah I can be terrible and we are terrible but we’ll ignore it and it’ll be funny and endearing until there’s one day and then it’s not anymore’. (Idk how else to best describe it :/). Overall I’d say BoJack/Wanda is the best comparison; not toxic to the point it’s triggering (ahem BoJack/Gina) but it’s still toxic positivity in a way, and idk I think the “we’re just two lonely people using each other to feel less lonely” is actually kind of applicable here (actually PCJack!finchel something to think about) because she’s ambitious but she gets slushied walking down the hallways / he’s the popular quarterback but that doesn’t mean he knows who he is.

And it’s so funny because; “When you’re looking through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.” They both have that thing the other wants (Status/Ambition) and that makes them ‘perfect’ to each other but at the end of the day that’s no foundation for a relationship and perfect to each other doesn’t make them perfect for each other (but also BoWanda also gives off the same Brittana vibes because laugh off the problems and they don’t exist until one day they do and astgjsfshh BH what have you done to me), and most of all “First you didn’t know me, then you fell in love with me, and now you know me.” :/ the incompatibility and idolization issues whyyy

But uhhhh back to Diane/PB (and I guess Brittana) yeah they fall into that “Yeah this isn’t right, and we can’t really see eye to eye on it, but we’re us so it’s okay.” And it’s like. Yes it’s squinting but you’re so used to squinting that, yeah whatever it’s not healthy but it’s what you know and you’re visions being replaced by ruby quartz so the red flags just look like flags and the lilies look like romantic roses. I mean its literally golden retriever x dark haired traumatized gal lmao, but yeah the ‘age of stagnation’ I’d say it applies pretty well, because I’m sure they love each other genuinely but the unconditional love aspect is just…only really beneficial to them at most, and even then it’s detrimental, because sometimes you need a little push as well as the pull, someone who’ll actually keep you in check.

And there actually is still the pushing, yet still not in the right direction, more in the “I know what’s good for you and us so I’ll do it” and…that still relates to the ‘age of stagnation’ thing; you push these boundaries and it’s not okay but it’s what you have done and you continue doing, so what’s the end result if you don’t push each other to or want to change? You continue pushing right past those borders and you don’t even care about reinforcing those boundaries. And over time and time again, you keep having conversations then keep doing things, you keep never changing and never being motivated to change, and suddenly one day you may just find yourself incompatible by the end of it.

(Though to be more critical, on whether that dynamic would lead to some sort of implosion like with Mr Peanutbutter and Diane eventually…I actually wouldn’t say so? Dont get me wrong, it’s still. Not a healthy dynamic. But I just kind of think they’re more…settled into it? I mean it’s been like that since they were teens, and it tied them to each other, and especially when you’re younger those roots are hard to dig out and pull free from, especially when you both seem pretty content and accepting of that being your dynamic actually).

Gah, why do all these BoJack asks end up being so long aksjakdhjsksjdjak

#glee #can I tag this as meta as this point #actually yeah it’s probably not deep enough to be meta but alas #anti brittana #anti finchel #asks #angelhummel #bojack horseman #sorrry I took a week to get to this alsajajaj fuck exams #okay well I still have exams buutttttdkajdjsjajs #from now onwards unplugging until june for me </3 #glee meta

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f1byjessie · 7 months ago

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PART 12 *waving my hands around in the air* !!!!! THEM IN THE ROOM IN THE MORNING IM SO☹️☹️☹️they’re so precious i’m fragile i stg. the perfect amount teasing and cheeky behavior with serious and meaningful conversations 🫶also just one of my favorite little moments was lando going “you’re spiraling” even though she wasn’t saying anything or really doing anything outwardly (that we know of as the readers), yet he knows her so well that he KNEW she was getting in her head about it - like that is just so🤲

HIM SAYING HE’D WALK ????? i just fell to my knees in a walmart. HIM SAYING HE JUST KNEW FROM THE FIRST TIME THEY MET ???? i’m curled up on the side of the road. i know there’s more shit they have to figure out, but i love them sm together already😭

the way i started STRESSING the moment the ig post came up😭my brain did not register the time skip and i was like “well damn. that plan went out the window quick”. i cant decide between what i think happened: either they actually fucked up and there’s a reason they weren’t thinking about PDA while in a place where they could be photographed and how they have to like scramble to pick up the pieces, ORRRRR it’s all part of a strategic plan before y/n and her lawyers start taking this shit to garrett🤌bc my brain can’t stop thinking about how this type of post is how garrett and y/n first put their relationship in the public eye😼plus i think it’s totally something lando would think is funny asf and want to do - rub it in that he got the girl and garrett is a POS lmao

N E WAYZ sorry for rambling, but if you couldn’t tell, i LOVED this part !!! always looking forward to more 🫶🫶

Never apologize for rambling! I always appreciate getting your asks and I love hearing your thoughts on things! So please feel free to ramble away! 😊

I'm still patting myself on the back for part twelve. The original plan was to have her push back against the idea of being with Lando more than she did, and then the fact that she'd just had a one-night stand with her best friend would be an added stressor, she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it and neither would Lando, and that mutual inability to get one another out of their heads and the following admittance of that would be what got them together. But I think I prefer the way it went a lot more. It was mostly because having Lando comfort her as she spirals and having him listen to her concerns and then come back each time with how he'll protect her against all of the potential consequences was just such a wholesome moment, but I also was just so eager to move past Bahrain and get on to the actual races 😅.

I'm so happy that you picked up on the parallels with the IG post though! I've talked about it before, but I love symbolism and thematic parallels are hands down one of my favorite writing mechanisms to make use of. The paparazzi act as the other side of the coin to Y/N— she takes photos, they take photos, but the ethics regarding both are completely opposite because one is with the consent and awareness of the subject and the other isn't. Similarly, the relationship she has with Garrett is drastically different from the relationship she has with Lando, but both of them are exposed via the paparazzi which, in my opinion, further highlights how each relationship was started. One was started with the intention of being exposed to the world for publicity and PR, whereas the other was started with the intention of being hidden and just for them.

But that's all I'll say on that because I'm worried if I keep talking about it I'll wind up spoiling part thirteen haha!

As always, thank you for taking the time to let me know what you think. I always look forward to what you have to say! 🫶

#jessie replies

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pedrospatch · 2 years ago

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What did Karl l do?? I’m not aware of the controversy, pls educate me lol

I’m currently at work so can’t type out a novel answer about what he’s done lmao but short answer is: he’s fatphobic, he’s racist, and he’s said things against the LGBTQ+ community. Tbh I did not pay too much attention to that man when he was alive (not only was he horrible but I could not afford his shit lmao) but I DO remember comments he’d make about women’s bodies back when I was a lot younger

there is no denying he was a great artist (well until he did certain campaigns) but he was a piece of shit human being and don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the celebs attending are terrible for going or anything but he just wasn’t a good person

if anyone wants to elaborate further feel free to do so in my replies

#vee answers

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bonesandthebees · 2 years ago

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So glass divine. I knew Wilbur had trauma. I was well aware that was a thing. We’ve even had snippets of dialogue from his past, but I was Not ready for a flashback. I’m going to cry. They really just kidnapped him and did not tell him what his purpose was. He had no self-worth even before they got to him. He didn’t have a connection to Clara before She chose him! He felt like she didn’t even know he existed because that’s how shitty his cards were. It also makes it extra fucked up because he got dragged of the streets and told he was chosen to serve a goddess who had never done anything for him for the rest of his life. Sure, it came with lifting in the lap of luxury, but also incredible dehumanisation of a child.

Also, this chapter is just the ‘everyone finds out the Pythia and trauma’ chapter, and that includes us readers. And Phil, Techno and Tommy all see a different piece of the puzzle. Together it does not from a pretty picture. Phil learns that the Pythia still expects them to hurt him because they have no reason not to. I feel like this has to do with the trauma of living on the streets. There’s already implied verbal abuse in the flashback. And the group homes do not sound save. Combine that with stealing food from anger vendors and I’m sure that belief formed at some point. Maybe he grew out of it as the Pythia and being around the Deathlings made it resurface.

Then Techno gets a very clear look at the dehumanisation and how deep it runs in the Pythia himself even without him outright saying that he’s not a human being. He was going to though and the idea that he he was going to do so without a blink until he realised that he didn’t want to get into a religious debate with Techno makes me want to cry. There’s this very fun opposition in what’s normalised to the Deathlings vs what’s been normalised to Wilbur as the Pythia and both of them are horrified at the other side.

I feel like Techno’s conversation builds on Phil’s realisation that of course the Pythia was going to try and escape. They would try the same in his position. So that’s the “it’s mostly our fault” realisation. There’s still blame towards Wilbur. He still chose to hurt Tommy, but the Deathlings taking part of the blame is not helping Wikbjr realise that he has agency too. He later tells Tommy [I didn’t have a choice.”]. He still truly believes that. Tommy even checks by asking if he’d do anything Clara asked of him. (the answer is yes).

(1/?)

-🌲

yupppp wilbur has a very sad backstory. even though they told him he'd been chosen by clara for something, no one gave him specifics, so he was just super confused trying to figure out why he'd been dragged into the palace so suddenly. he was just a kid who was scared and alone and had no idea what was going on. and he didn't even have a connection to clara. he got to live in the lap of luxury and never had to worry about food or shelter again, but he had no say in the matter

LMAO YEAH this chapter is literally just all of sbi getting different glimpses of wilbur's trauma. I'd definitely say his reaction to phil is largely influenced by his time on the streets. he dealt with a lot of shit as a street kid. the group home wasn't a safe place for him, and he wasn't treated kindly by vendors a lot of the time either. he hasn't had to deal with his physical safety being threatened in a very long time, so now being in a situation where he isn't sure if he's physically safe or not has definitely made some of that surface again

techno got a glimpse at the dehumanization, but just barely scratched the surface. I want to emphasize what you said: that wilbur didn't say exactly what he was thinking because he didn't want to get into a religious debate with techno. wilbur KNOWS how it sounds from an outsiders viewpoint. he knows how horrifying a lot of what he says is. but it's become so normalized to him that he just convinces himself "well it sounds bad I know but it's actually not you just have to understand-" meanwhile everyone is giving him horrified looks

yeah techno's convo builds on phil's, with the two realizing aw shit we fucked up. but the real focus like you said is wilbur's lack of agency. he genuinely feels like he didn't have a choice because clara told him to do it. he's completely devoted to her in a very unhealthy way and tommy is the one who got a glimpse of that

#ask #spruce anon #through a glass divine

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birdhouse-of-shadows · 2 years ago

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Okay, so this particular fic was never centered around romance. Not in the slightest. But the two people I let read this pressured me into turning this into a 4-way love square between Tokoyami, Bakugou, Sero, and Asui. It just didn’t come together with the original plot, so i dropped it lmao

Anyway here it is.

-Bakugou slammed a piece of paper on the table in front of Tokoyami. It was their lunch period, and the two had settled into the vacant library to study while they ate.

Tokoyami looked down at the paper in front of him. Ectoplasm had given them all progress reports of how they were doing in math so far that semester, and Tokoyami’s...wasn’t very good to say the least.

“Your math grades are shit.” Bakugou said, shoving the paper in Tokoyami’s face. “I’m well aware, thanks.” Tokoyami replied, reaching into his bag. After shoveling around his bag, he pulled out an apple, and a pocket knife, much to Bakugou’s surprise. He pointed to the knife, tilting his head. “What the fuck.”

Tokoyami snickered. “It’s just for cutting my apples, if you must know. Just...don’t tell anyone I carry a knife on me.” he said, cleanly slicing through the middle of the apple.

Bakugou scoffed playfully, pulling out his own lunch, which was just yakisoba, but the problem, specifically Tokoyami’s problem, was that it was practically bright red. “That looks...spicy...” he said, at a loss for words. Bakugou gave a malicious smirk. “Yeah? Wanna bite?” he asked, stabbing his chop sticks into the noodles in front of him.

Tokoyami cringed. “I’d need some plastic wrap on my ass after eating that, no thanks.” he said, placing an apple slice in his mouth.

Bakugou slammed a fist on the table. He stood up, and pointed his chop sticks at Tokoyami in an attempt to simulate a weapon. “Eh? You got a problem birdie? You wanna go? YOU WANNA FUCKING G-“

“Shhhhh.” Tokoyami said, putting a finger to his beak. “We’re in a library.” he said with a smirk.

“THERES NO ONE ELSE IN HERE!” Bakugou yelled even louder, proving his point. Tokoyami stifled a laugh and bit into one of his newly cut apple slices. With a huff, Bakugou sat back down, and the two began to eat in a comfortable silence.

But as usual, that silence never lasts very long.

The library doors slammed open. And in came Kirishima and Kaminari. “BAKUBROOOOOOOOO-“

Tokoyami flinched and covered his ears. He had stressed to his classmates before how much he hated when people yelled unannounced. It brought back...memories. Vague ones, but they were still there. And they always brought back a sense of fear in Tokoyami.

Bakugou seemed to notice Tokoyami’s flinch at the sudden noise, because he slammed his hands on the table, and turned his gaze to the two at the entrance. “Damn you fucking idiots! Not so loud for fuck’s sake!” he hissed.

“Woah man. Calm do-“ Kaminari started, but cut himself off when he locked eyes with Tokoyami. The avian teen slowly removed his hands from his ears, and folded his arms, returning his attention to the apple slices in front of him.

“R-right...” Kaminari rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. “My bad...”

Kirishima, hopelessly oblivious, as always, threw an arm around Bakugou, his other hand reaching into his pocket. “Wanna help us study?” he asked with a grin.

Bakugou put a hand on Kirishima’s face, shoving him away. “No. I’m busy.” Bakugou replied dryly. Kirishima pouted, and pulled some money out of his pocket. “Come ooooonnn. I’ll pay you~” he said, his grin wider.

“For fucks sake hair for brains I said NO.” Bakugou growled, pushing the money out of his face. Kaminari sighed, leaning closer to Bakugou. “Come on pleeeeeeaaaase? We’re gonna fail without help from our favorite Bakubro!” he pleaded. By then, Bakugou was fed up.

“FUCKING FINE. JUST GET OFF ME.” he hissed. Ignoring the cheers from the two dummies, he looked to Tokoyami, who was attempting to hide the disappointment in his eyes. “Sorry chicken shit, we’ll study another time.” Bakugou said, gathering his things. Tokoyami sighed. “It’s alright, I’m sure they need more help than me, anyway. Thanks for sitting with me.” he said calmly, though Bakugou noticed a hint of sadness in his voice. Bakugou had to admit, he felt a bit guilty leaving Tokoyami so soon, but the two dumbasses wouldn’t leave him alone otherwise, and Tokoyami said he didn’t mind...so there was no problem...right?

Bakugou threw his bag over his shoulder with a sigh, and followed the two obnoxious bastards out of the library.-

And there you have it. Just a little bit of context is needed to fully understand this, but not enough for me to explain it lmao

Also i love the idea of Kirishima and Kaminari being cockblocks and being hopelessly oblivious about Bakugou and Tokoyami being in a relationship of any kind-

Okay tbh I still fold to this day for Tokobaku

This is adorable and if you ever continued this/feel like continuing this please let me know

#tokobaku #i am completely desperate for tokobaku content #tokoyami #ask

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piplupod · 2 years ago

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do u have any advice for someone with dissociative ptsd who’s like 80% sure he’s multiple. i honestly don’t know what to do because i keep trying to explore and learning absolutely nothing about what’s in my brain if u know what i mean. sorry this is kind of out of the blue

im going to do my best to keep this as concise as possible bc i am so prone to ramble fjdskl but i’d like to help if i can and i know long chunks of text are unappealing

first thing is obviously the disclaimer of i am not a mental health professional or professional anything, i’m just a mentally ill disordered traumatised person/system, so take whatever i say with a grain of salt and also keep yourself safe, find professional help, etc. use your discretion when it comes to what we're saying here.

very brief rundown of my own experiences of system discovery: i looked into IFS therapy, things started clicking in the way of More than just IFS, a situation happened with a friend as witness where it was basically undeniable that we’re a system, and things just sort of kept getting explored and shoved into the light after that (turns out we had actually been looking into all of this stuff when we were 16/17 but had completely forgotten about it despite making several notes and messaging a couple people asking questions… good ol’ amnesia sdjfkl). so that’s the short version of our/my experience figuring this shit out in case that does anything to help.

so! with that out of the way, here’s what I’ve got for you! first off is to take it slow and don’t force anything (extremely frustrating advice, i am well aware fjsdkl), that’ll just make things more difficult and potentially cause you more issues. be gentle with yourself, and make sure you have a solid support system and that you’re in a safe situation before delving into anything. be cautious as you continue, and be open (and welcoming) if you do find any parts/alters/etc sharing the brain.

i feel like there is a good possibility that whatever you’re trying to figure out right now is either not meant for you at this moment in time or that (if you do have DID/OSDD) a gatekeeper doesn’t feel you’re ready for whatever it is. in that case, go at your own discretion ofc but just be extra cautious and maybe leave it to rest for now until things feel a bit more open and available (and obviously once again seek professional help if that’s available to you).

personally if i ever push to find something and i’m left drawing a blank, that’s always been our gatekeeper blocking me off from finding something. trauma is tricky to navigate, it’s easy to push too hard and end up in a worse spot than you were in before. but i absolutely understand the desire to know and understand what’s going on with the brain!

i think my only other piece of potential advice is maybe engage with systems/pwOSDDID online (or irl if thats available) and delve into some (more) research. educate yourself as much as you can about the experiences of having this osdd-1/did and about the medical terminology and research (i’ve got a google docs folder of some biographies and research papers if you’re interested). if you can’t know about your own personal experiences, it might still help to get to know about the experiences from a medical standpoint and from other people’s perspectives. and that may help you find more, as you may find you relate to things people are saying or feel something resonate with you and it’ll give you more leads (or perhaps lead you in the other direction, that you don’t have the disorder and it’s something else). if there’s a gatekeeper or protector etc blocking you off from figuring things out, doing this sort of research and engaging with systems/pwOSDDID might help them feel like you’re more ready for that sort of self discovery.

{Note from Nine: I tried to edit Juno's response down as much as possible lmao but it's difficult to get it any shorter than this. Quick POV from a non-host alter: if you do have DID/OSDD and your system-mates don't want you to know, there's probably a reason for that. It doesn't mean you CAN'T figure it out, but just be careful with it. We're obviously somewhat glad we know now so that we don't feel fucking insane, but it's really fucking hard to come to terms with and has caused us a shit ton of issues (and we often still struggle with denial). I'd honestly hesitate to do what Juno said in the last paragraph, but just like... go at your own pace lmao, use your own discretion. Don't get yourself in a bad place with this shit. Take it slow, make sure you're safe, don't push anything that will only end up hurting you more.}

#I don't entirely know how I feel about this but I'm trusting you to keep yourself safe lmao.#nine speaks #(as well as juno lol but they dont' have a specific talking tag for here)#pippen needs 2nd breakfast #asked and answered

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qin-ling · 2 years ago

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hi - for the icemav prompt fic i was hoping to request either number 19 or number 63 !! (i cant remember my tumblr login lmao - im princ3sskenny on ao3)

hello!! i went with 19--i hope you like it! this one was real fun. :^)

19. “if we're caught kissing we're most likely dead but let's risk it”

This is new, Maverick thinks, when Ice approaches him after the post-mission debriefing with a face etched from stone and his eyes pale and cold.

For all his namesake, the Iceman is not actually made of ice. Maverick’s always been aware of this, even when Ice would give him bland, cool looks back in TOPGUN like Maverick was no better than a swatch of gum beneath his shoe. No—Ice has always blazed under there, especially nose-to-nose with Maverick, all competitive fire and colossal ego tempered only by the iron fist he has around his composure.

It’s a skill thing, that callsign of his. It’s Ice’s irreproachability in the air, his marble-wrought patience and crystal-cold perfectionism. Hard edges, sharp lines, every piece of the puzzle slotted together with laser-cut precision.

But it’s a whole different ball game, on the ground. On the ground, Ice bends when Maverick least expects it; yields when Maverick most needs it. Those razor-sharp lines become pliant and hazy. Despite everything, Maverick doesn’t think Ice has ever truly been angry with him. Has never really seen him angry, at all.

Until now, anyway.

Ice approaches, and Ice doesn’t stop approaching, shoving right up into Maverick’s face and bullying him against the bulkhead with his height alone. “What the hell was that?”

“The hell was what?” says Maverick, glancing around. The passageway is claustrophobically tight, overflowing with exposed ductwork and pipes. They’re the only ones here right now, but from experience he knows it won’t be for long.

“Don’t bullshit me,” Ice snarls. “What were you thinking? That stunt you pulled—”

“It was a calculated risk,” says Maverick.

Ice’s eyes flash under the overhead light, the color of an overcast winter sky. “Calculated risk, my ass. It was stupid as shit and you know it.”

“You’re welcome, by the way,” says Maverick. “If I hadn’t done that—”

“I didn’t ask you to!”

“Well too fucking bad!” Maverick’s jaw snaps shut. His voice rings in the meager space, acrid and caught. He hisses between his teeth. Lowers the register. “You can’t stop me from making decisions like that, Ice. You won’t ever stop me.”

Ice’s upper lip curls. “You really think you’re invincible.”

“I told you, it was a calculated risk,” says Maverick. He raises his chin. “Besides, it worked. Got you out of radar lock, and we’re both back on deck. We’re both safe.”

Ice stares at him. Fury strings his entire body taut. His shoulders are rigid as a board, his handsome face an effigy carved into a mountain.

“You put your RIO in danger,” he says.

“Merlin was on board,” Maverick fires back. “Besides, we all know the risks.”

“That’s right,” says Ice, deathly cold. “We do.”

“For God’s sake, Kazansky.” Frustration pounds in Maverick’s temples. He jabs a finger directly into Ice’s name tape, just above his heart. “What the hell’s your problem? Like it or not, I saved your ass. Just fucking accept it.”

Ice knocks his hand away. The USNA ring stings Maverick’s knuckles. “I won’t,” he bites out. “Not like this. Never like this. I would’ve been fine. Slider would’ve been fine. We could’ve handled it. As far as I’m concerned, you fucking panicked.”

“So what if I did?” Maverick snaps. “So what? What did you expect? I’m not you; I’m not called Iceman. I saw you in trouble and I did something about it. Fuck me for giving a shit, am I right?”

“And you think I don’t?” says Ice, knife-sharp, brittle as glass. “You think I can watch you risk your neck—for me, because of me—and just—what, exactly? Shrug it off? Move on with my day?” He laughs bitterly. “Is that what you really think of me?”

Regret slams into Maverick like a freight train, abrupt and staggering. “No,” he says. The air turns viscous in his lungs. “No, Ice.”

Ice grabs him, his fingers clamping hard around his biceps, trapping Maverick where he stands. His hands are shaking. Not from fury, Maverick realizes now, but from fear. “You’re not alone anymore, Maverick,” he says. His voice cracks halfway. “You’re not the only one with skin in the game. Never do that to me again.”

“Ice,” Maverick says again. He sags against the pipe at his back. Remembers, distantly, Ice’s voice over the comms, fuzzy with static but the alarm unmistakable, Slider shouting in the background. Remembers how his head went light with terror, with blinding panic—the icy fingers that slithered down his spine, slipped ruthlessly between his ribs at the very thought—the very possibility—

And then he thinks of Ice, watching Maverick swoop in like a fucking hero. Swoop in like Maverick had a fucking death wish, like Maverick was ready to leave the whole world behind. Leave Ice behind.

“Fine,” he says. He gathers himself. Exhales unsteadily, throat tight. “Fine. But only if you promise me the same.”

Because Maverick can’t lose Ice, either. He can’t. Not after—not when—

Ice is too close; close enough that Maverick can see the blue flecks in his eyes, the way his gaze flicks over Maverick’s face like he’s searching for something. The distant hiss and boom of a catapult above them rattles the overhead. Voices resound from an adjacent passageway, commingling with the clang of boots on metal floor grates.

This is dangerous. They shouldn’t be doing this, not here. Ice knows this better than anyone—is so scrupulous about it that it actually pisses Maverick off, sometimes, even though he knows, even though he understands.

“Okay,” Ice says at last. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath. Then another. This time, his shoulders relax. “Okay, Mav.”

But he doesn’t pull away. His fingers dig bruises into Maverick’s arms.

“You should let go,” says Maverick quietly.

Ice’s grip only tightens further. He raises his head, sweeps a look around. Then he leans in.

Maverick’s eyelids flutter as their lips meet. It’s too chaste, too quick. Not enough. Not ever fucking enough. He surges up on his toes, fists his own hands into the front of Ice’s flight suit. Manages to deepen the kiss for only a moment before Ice breaks it off.

Their breaths intermingle. Ice cups his neck, his hand warm and protective. There’s still a hint of strain around his eyes, a touch of tension rippling through his forearm—but his hold is gentle. Maverick aches, fiercely. When Ice finally releases him, finally steps back, he swallows through the bitter pang of loss.

Not a moment too soon; a pair of boots hammer down a nearby ladder. Ice immediately straightens, face closing shut, his bearing collected and aloof once more. They look at each other.

“I’ll see you topside,” says Ice.

“Wait.” Maverick darts forward. He presses one more kiss to Ice’s mouth, brief and daring, his heart thudding in his chest. “Okay,” he says. “We’re good.”

Ice’s expression softens by the barest degree. He nods. Maverick allows himself to watch his retreat for only a second, then turns heel and exchanges greetings with the lieutenant who’s just rounded the corner.

Only a few more weeks. Maverick can hold on a little longer.

#icemav #top gun #top gun 1986 #prompt fill #i might take a pause soon to work on a new fic #more to follow <3 #qin writing

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simpywhore · 3 years ago

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Obey me characters getting jealous

Lucifer - Seems fine on the outside but on the inside, he’s trying his best to not kill that person on spot because it would cause a huge chaos. So instead, he decided to give the person death glares till they got the hint and leave in one whole piece if he thinks they deserve his merciness. But if they’re intentionally ignoring his threats warnings, he will take matters into his own hands. (might not come back out in one whole piece <3) Would not hesitate to demolish them right where they are, if they are acting inappropriately towards you.

Mammon - Ah yes your lil tsundere puppy is here to save the day. He only barks but he doesn’t bite. He’ll make up excuses for you to leave with him like “Come on mc, help me with my homework, I don’t understand it” or “How about leaving that loser and coming with me instead yea?” or “I’ll get your favorite snack, just leave them”. Would literally get offended if you insist on staying with whoever you’re with. He’d go like “HUHHHH? Why stay with them when you have The Great Mammon to accompany you??” Oh yea if you tease him about it, he would deny it to his grave. “You should grateful that The Great Mammon is with you human >:0″ and “JEALOUS?! I’M NOT JEALOUS- I JUST DON’T THINK THEY’RE UP TO ANY GOOD”.

Leviathan - Well...he is the Avatar Of Envy afterall, soooo I hope you’re expecting someone to go missing that day. Defo went back to his room as if nothing had happened. He even tried to persuade you to study from home, which didn’t really work since Lucifer literally dragged you back to school. But guess what? He actually forced himself to GO TO SCHOOL just so he can keep a close eye on you. (just in case, a normie tries to flirt with you like last time, you were a bit too oblivious to their flirts so you thought they were just being friendly.) “Hey mc check out this new game/anime I found” “You should go watch it with me instead” “Come by my room, I’ve just received my new akuzon delivery”.

Satan - Yea no, trying to bottle up his anger ended up in him exploding from rage. Oh he’s not even shameful that he decided to straight went feral on that student who just flirted with you just a moment ago. Manz was proud too. 🕺 Guess you have a new scary dog privilege now. The fact that he got into detention and meet Lucifer is hilarious tho. Lucifer sighed and gave him a 2 hour lecture back home, which should’ve been 5 hours at first but he changed his mind since it’s for you. Lucifer thinks it’s not as bad as the pranks Satan pulled on him, so 2 hours should be enough. Satan on the other hand was completely ignorant of Lucifer’s lecture, all the words went form one ear and out the other.

Asmodeus - Some basic and not so fabulous, and also not to mention low ranking demon trying to date you? Please don’t make him laugh, he’s literally the Avatar Of Lust himself. They should be aware that he’s YOURS and you’re HIS and ONLY his. “Awe and what do we have here? Ahahaha YOU, with mc?” “Oh that’s just funny, no way you’d be suit for mc.” “Hmm isn’t it quite obvious that me and mc are together already?” He kept on that “Imma end this man’s whole career” smile while talking to the shaking demon who was this close 🤏 to shitting their pants.

Beelzebub - Okay so this precious giant teddy bear doesn’t really mind people being clingy or a bit flirty with you, he’s a uhhh little oblivious that’s all. But if they ever cross the line, he won’t hesitate to yeet their ass. Actually all he has to do is walk up to them and they’d be bolting away, no one wants to mess with 6′4 foot tall muscular giant. (He’s so sweet tho ~(TヘT)~) Just his appearance alone is enough to scare them all away lmao.

Belphagor - Since he doesn’t really get out that much, he’s not involved in those scenarios but there’s this one time when he went to the human world and some creep was staring at you. Ooooooh boy he went all out. And return back to napping on your lap as if he didn’t just beat the crap out of a person (for a good reason tho). Mc = Is that blood on your face Belphie? Belphie = Mhm what do you mean? No it’s not. Mc = What is it then? Belphie = Ketchup.

BONUS:

Solomon - Being the powerful sorcerer he is, he cursed their asses lmao. Made them do embarrassing things everytime they meet you. While he be having the time of his life enjoying them humiliate themselves right in front of you. For example: Slipping and falling flat on their faces while you stood there grabbing your books and staring at them like 👁️👄👁️💧. 2nd example: Walking to school and waving at you when they oh so unfortunately stepped on some caca. 3rd example: They always seem to fart out of nowhere when you’re with them. 4th example: Ripped pants and walking around R.A.D with their spiderman boxers.

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grishaverse-chaos · 1 year ago

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the Fold became merely convenient excuse, why hate Grisha

Yes, I’m aware that Grisha oppression existed before the creation of the Fold. I have actually read the books lmao.

Either we’re missing some piece of information, or LB’s shitty writing’s at work again.

You’re missing one possibility with regards to the Darkling’s choice of target - it’s also possible that he literally did not realise the negative impacts his attack would have. Of course it’s also possible that it’s bad writing, but from a Watsonian perspective, it’s reasonable to assume that he made a mistake.

forty Grisha, maybe fifty, most of them barely out of school.

Yeah okay fair, there weren’t many Grisha at the Little Palace - but then again, you did make a point in your last response of saying there weren’t many Grisha in Ravka overall, so I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make here.

They were deserters.

Technically if we’re talking about deserters, the Grisha who left the formal Second Army to join the Darkling’s unofficial military campaign are the ones who committed treason… Then again, even if they had deserted, that wouldn’t make their decision immoral, and I maintain that murdering them in cold blood was immoral.

I’m sure you’d managed better!

Yeah actually, I think I would manage better than the Darkling if I were in his position. Wasn’t that the point of this whole argument?

When all those who remember your sacrifices are dust in the ground, how long do you think it will take for their children or their grandchildren to turn on you?

True, the passage of time makes a stable relationship with the monarchy difficult, but it can be done, and if you have public support and prior legislation on your side (which could be achieved with the help of a singular monarch) that makes it a lot easier!

And where did you come up with that?

describing him as a child is almost kind.

I’ll admit that my conclusions about the Darkling refusing to negotiate are guesswork, but it’s a reasonable explanation for his actions (or lack of actions, more like). I never said I disagreed with his description of the King, but his open contempt for him makes it more difficult to maintain a professional relationship.

Grisha have “protection” of the Crown for their service. They’re not the ones in power, monarchy is.

Yes, ordinary Grisha only have the protection of the Crown, but the General of the Second Army has political power, particularly in a military-focused nation.

the current ruler doesn’t strike me like someone, who’s willing to offer more...

Yes, the current ruler is shit, but I’m referring to rulers across the centuries, many of whom may have had more sympathy for Grisha and commoners.

no one seems to reinforce these rules

Legislative changes are a huge step forward, and while they may not be commonly enforced, the fact remains that they can be enforced (like, threatening to have the King tried was a legitimate threat, showing that these laws are enforced in many cases) and so are useful protection. And in many cases, future monarchs won’t go back to unjust laws simply because repealing existing legislation takes time, effort, and support - which, particularly if public opinion shifts, a prejudiced monarch just wouldn’t have.

You’re guessing and treating it as facts.

I know I’m guessing, but there’s so little canon evidence on this topic that some guesswork is required.

How masses treat something they don’t understand...

Yes!! Well done, you’ve hit on one of the biggest reasons behind Grisha oppression - they don’t understand Grisha. I wonder what could help them to understand Grisha… (hint: it’s integration).

The Darkling in RoW is done with persuading everyone.

Okay, but where’s your evidence that he ever tried negotiation?? I know you think that him being described as having “served countless kings” counts as that, but that still doesn’t necessarily mean that he tried to negotiate with those monarchs.

I do remember him being the one offering though...

Yes, I remember him offering to share his power with Alina too, but let’s not forget that he wanted to enslave her power not too long before that happens. I doubt that would be an equitable share of power!

Yeah, if people were as nice and accommodating as you believe them to be...

Actually, I do believe that humans are, on the whole, good people. That’s a legitimate sociological debate, but I think it’s external factors which make people immoral - not anything inherent.

“Someone has to lead, Alina. Someone has to end this. Believe me, I wish there were another way.”

Yes, he tells Alina he doesn’t want to rule because he believes that it will make her more sympathetic to him! It doesn’t mean he’s telling the truth! He’s manipulating her!!

He’d value her understanding, but he doesn’t need it.

Yeah he doesn’t need her understanding, not when he can just put a collar round her neck and force her to do whatever he wants with her power!

people are more likely to question existing structures, including religion, lean away from it, or straight up abandon it. They’re also more likely to incorporate science into their beliefs, not see living gods (or Saints) among themselves.

Yes, and we see people leaning away from the more old-fashioned aspects of religion (such as the sexism in Fjerdan religion) but let’s not forget that a lot of Ravka and surrounding countries is still pre-industrial, and also, I have a slight feeling that the existence of magic might influence people’s beliefs, too. Science is clearly different within the Grishaverse - and if we’re including the Small Science in “science”, then I’d argue that believing Grisha to be children of Djel is incorporating science into one’s beliefs.

You mean the same one, who’s more than happy to pretend none of that ever happened?

Pretending the khergud never existed is a better option for the Shu government, because if they admit that Makhi opened the laboratories while her mother was still Queen, it undermines the power of the government and leaves Shu Han vulnerable. It also doesn’t harm anybody to not make the information public - the books state that most ordinary Shu citizens don’t know about the experimentation on Grisha anyway.

Denying atrocities is half a step from approving them.

and this got Ravkans off their backs for a while.

You’re forgetting that they signed a treaty with Ravka. And yes, denying atrocities while they’re still happening is close to approving them, but simply “not making information which could cause mass panic public once it’s no longer relevant” is just a smart political decision!

I’ve never said the Darkling’s always doing, what’s best for Ravka

Great! I’m glad we agree that the Darkling isn’t doing what’s best for Ravka! That’s kind of… my whole point.

But monarch is quite comfy rn.

Realistically, the state of Ravka’s economy will trickle up to the upper classes pretty soon. In fact, in the KoS duology, isn’t Nikolai always complaining that the government doesn’t have enough money for this or that? (Hint: yes, he is.) So, you know. The monarchy won’t stay rich and comfortable for very long.

So you suggest naming it simply “army” and letting it work the way it does? Well, why not. As soon as we have that willing person on the throne...

Since making my points about integration, I’ve remembered that (like many of my suggestions lmao) it happens successfully in (you guessed it) the KoS duology!! The integrated forces are known as the Nolniki, iirc, and while they don’t make up the entire military of Ravka, they are there and functioning well.

There’s a reason Grisha serve in noble houses, and safe integration is quite likely it.

Yep, Grisha serving in noble houses is a good start to integration (although I’d hesitate to call it “safe” - look at Genya! I’d prefer to start by integrating soldiers, who can actually defend themselves) but more progress is needed. We never see inside any noble houses, so it’s hard to tell how well it works within that confined bubble - but I’d argue that it works quite well. Unfortunately, servants have limited geographical mobility (as in, ability to travel), so the attitudes fostered within those households are unlikely to spread.

men are generally physically stronger, therefore more suitable for some jobs

Nope! You’re right that physical labour is better done by somebody who’s more fit, but saying that men are always stronger and better able to do manual labour than women is not only blatantly wrong, but it’s also sexist. And if we’re going into personal experiences… I (cis woman, 5’4”) personally can lift more weight than my dad (cis man, 6’0”) lmao.

East still has to cross the Fold to get there and back!

You’re ignoring the part where I said that all of these solutions are intertwined. Of course the issue of West Ravka can’t be properly solved until the Fold is destroyed! That’s why… one of my solutions… was to destroy the Fold… Please stop looking at my ideas individually and instead consider them as a wide-reaching, multi-dimensional approach.

most Grisha are weaker than main characters. Grisha aren’t numerous.

True, there aren’t many Grisha, but even a less powerful Grisha still has magic. That’s pretty powerful in and of itself. (And, you know, you could expand the training regime if your aim isn’t to get as many Grisha as possible on the battlefield as soon as possible.)

there’s more canon proof the King doesn’t give a flying fuck about his subjects and hates Grisha, than “Everything is the Darkling’s fault, because he didn’t make the world in his image yet, therefore he’s totally incompetent.”?

Yes, I am aware that the King is incompetent and prejudiced. However, the Darkling’s had centuries to do something, and yet attitudes have barely changed? That definitely speaks to something, and personally I think that “something” is his own incompetence.

It’s also no unanimous scepticism. One person from a whole group and figure of authority in rich, modern household.

I’d hardly call the orphanage a rich, modern household lmao. And you’re right that the skepticism isn’t universal, but nor is the superstition! It’s a balance!

To make it short, I’m pretty sure I’ve already provided that one quote about his workload

Improving his image could easily be worked in with the tasks you’ve mentioned - for example, if he’s visiting villages attacked by the Shu, then he could take that opportunity to socialise with the people living there and ensure their gratitude. (It sounds pretty unethical and ruthless put like that, but that’s politics for you!)

Nikolai’s a bit higher in the food chain, as otkazat’sya he’s not considered Satan’s spawn by anyone

taxing nobles, which the Darkling can suggest as much as he wants, but until he sits on the throne, he’s not in position to decide or even enforce it.

Yes, the king is a bit higher status than a general (though not that much higher) and he IS considered Satan’s spawn by many (have you even read KING OF SCARS? It’s right there in the title!!) And your fav is extremely manipulative, I’m sure he could figure out a way to get monarchs to raise taxes on the rich.

You don’t think slavers in Novyi Zem are much of a problem

Novyi Zem is a big place, Grisha are pretty powerful, and slavers are a minority. You do the maths. Of course it’s not 100% safe, but it probably has a higher survival rate than Ravka!

And before you suggest it- training will give you skill, not additional power.

You think training won’t give you additional power? What? Of course training can help you boost your power level - think of Alina, for example. Or Hanne, who gets better at Tailoring the more they practice. Or any real-world skill that can be improved with practice.

I’ve disproved this already above

However few Grisha were at the Little Palace, the Darkling still slaughtered them.

Which would once again require monarch interested in being persuaded of anything...

No, it requires somebody close to the monarch who’s good at manipulation.

I also can’t wait for you to find 100% law-abiding bureaucracy.

Of course laws aren’t always abided by, but (okay, I just had the thought “all you need to do is set up a working judiciary system” and it is not that easy) when there are consequences in place, people are more likely to follow the law. Does Ravka even have a prison system?

So they should build something smaller? Start wearing rags?

Good grief. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with the current position of Grisha! (Except the fact that they’re used as cannon fodder.)

Last I checked, we had desperately little information about the Fold’s creation.

It’s a pretty reasonable guess that he didn’t take adequate safety precautions, since whatever precautions he did take clearly failed and thus weren’t adequate. (And you’re coming at me for quoting Baghra because she’s manipulative, when you’ve quoted scenes where the Darkling is clearly manipulating Alina?? Make it make sense.)

Since the king is “a child”, he’s gullible enough not to see any danger to his position!

Yes, you’re getting it now! Well done! The King is that stupid lmao.

No, she’s reluctant to believe Baghra’s story and worries for her mental health.

I disagree with your interpretation of that scene, but I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree.

Or at least obligatory creation of tunnels, wherever needed.

The Fold could also become better natural border, than mountains.

Yeah, creating tunnels would be a good first step. I’m still in favour of a diplomatic approach (outlined in previous responses, and implemented more-or-less successfully in the KoS duology) but I suppose that using the Fold as a natural border wouldn’t be a terrible idea… except yes it would. That bars the possibility of trade with Fjerda or Shu Han, kills innocent citizens, etc etc. And no! The choice of target doesn’t make sense! I’m glad we agree!

How would you explain her behaviour through whole season?

I would explain Alina’s behaviour by the fact that she’s a slight unstable, traumatized teenage girl. (And also the show isn’t written very well lmao, and her character suffers for it.)

First of all, it’s lovely that a soldier agrees to do, what they’re told they should. Her age doesn’t really matter, she joined the Army, they tell her it’s her assignment, she should do it.

Her age does matter, idk what you’re on about. And at the point where the Fold is destroyed, she isn’t an ordinary soldier anymore, she’s the General of the Second Army. Whose orders is she supposed to be following, exactly?

her unwillingness to be a part of her own story

Yes, she is a reluctant hero! That’s, like, a whole trope. (Duh.)

How exactly do you imagine he’s supposed find time for power play and manipulation of people?

The only alliance we’re aware of, is the one with the Apparat

I imagine the Darkling would find the time for politics by spending less time manipulating young girls, and more time manipulating old men lmao. An alliance with the Apparat would be a great idea! Now you’re getting the hang of this whole negotiation and alliance thing!

You should also pick a side- either he is the (second) most powerful man in Ravka, or he’s completely incompetent, with no allies or support. You can’t have it both ways.

He has the power to become more influential, but he doesn’t use the influence he has. That’s not contradictory at all.

depends on how dumb is genral Ravkan population

The general Ravkan population isn’t that dumb tbh, the people we see (with some exceptions) are more misguided than genuinely stupid.

I think you might have missed those centuries the Darkling worked for the monarchy...

How many times do I have to explain that the Darkling working for the monarchy doesn’t mean that he uses his influence to its full capacity? (Apparently one more time.)

The Darkling’s plan with the Fold failed due to lack of support and one of the main componenets acting out.

His plan would likely have failed anyway because he’s just weakened his own country!

You call her realistic traumatized teenager, and then you’re surprised the Darkling didn’t share details of his plans, concerning whole nation?!

I think that teenagers generally benefit from having information about their own lives and more importantly, control over their own lives given that society denies them control over their lives in most cases.

just because you’re smarter, than someone else you’re not necessarily capable to change their minds however you please

dumb people tend to be incredibly stubborn in their notions

not everyone is willing to accept your advice just because it’s sound

And finally, this. You’re right! It is very difficult to argue with somebody stubborn, who’s arguing in bad faith and is approaching the argument from a completely different perspective from you. And yet… you agree with me that the Darkling’s attack on Novokribirsk was a bad move, right? And that was my entire point to begin with. Your original post asked how to deal with Ravka’s situation in an ethical and realistic way, right? And I answered that. Because my point is that the attack on Novokribirsk was not the right solution to Ravka’s problems. And you agree with me, right?

See? It’s that easy to work somebody around to agreeing with you, even if they are theoretically completely opposed to your position.

I’m glad we were able to come to an agreement on this!

I’ve posted similar thing on Darklina over a year ago (Still no answer.), but I’ll try anyway:

What would be a morally correct, REALISTIC solution of Ravkan situation:

war with both neighbours, both better supplied and developed

separatist movement on West

no money

not enough workforce to support both army and economy

no other resources

ruling nobility using the little you have on luxury

precarious position of the minority you happen to also belong to (No other country to move to.)

servitude

huge area inhospitable and uninhabitable with possible solution tied to theoretical appearance and co-operation of a single person

general distrust or outright hatred towards your person

Now, tell me how to deal with such a situation in a way that wouldn’t involve “death of innocents”, use of the Fold or throwing Grisha under the bus?

@antis, mostly

#this took a LOT longer than i meant it to bc irl was irling #but here it is! finally!#anyway it's funny that we literally agree on the entire point of this post #(ie that the attack on novokribirsk was a bad move)#because what even is the point of continuing this debate lmao #(im still going to because arguing with people is FUN though)#(im aware my idea of fun is slightly messed up but idc. i find this fun so whatever)#grishaverse #mayhem.txt #mayhem grishaverse originals #anti darkling

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reminiscingtonight · 3 years ago

Text

If I Fall (Leigh’s Version)

Leigh Shaw x Reader

Word Count: 5.1k

Anon Asked: Hi! I don’t know if request are still open, but if they are, can I request a Leigh Shaw fic inspired by “If I Fall” by Nick Jonas please? Thank you!

A/N: Okay, after half of a year of working on this, I can proudly say I have finished this ask. Lmao, I’m so sorry for the delay, I hope y’all enjoy it!

[Main Masterlist]

After Matt’s death, Leigh really thought she’d be single forever. Engulfed in a bubble of grief, it was easy to believe the pain would stay forever.

But after a chance meeting, she realized that maybe things could be different.

In the simplified version, the two of you met, you warmed up her cold heart, and you both fell in love.

But like all love stories, things weren’t always so simple.

So what happened? Well, Leigh could pinpoint five distinct times she fell for you before giving you a shot.

And let’s just say the two of you ended up with a pretty great happily ever after.

---

The first time

For the first time in months, Leigh finally gets a day off from work. From the moment she wakes up she decides that she’ll make the most of her rare day off. And the first step in making the most of it? Getting a cup of coffee from her favorite coffee shop.

When she makes it there, there’s a weirdly long line that shoots outside of the door. Rather than going to a different place she decides to hunker down and wait it out. After all, she had all the time in the world to wait.

And that’s her first mistake.

Not even a couple minutes of being in line Leigh’s already aware of the creep who’s not even hiding his very obvious attempts at checking her out. Usually she would be all up in his face, but today, Leigh just rolls her eyes and tries to ignore him. And it works. Until it doesn’t.

“Hey babe.”

Just the sound of his voice is enough to make her skin crawl. Leigh doesn’t even bother to give him the time of day, eyes never leaving her phone.

He clears his throat but she continues to ignore him.

It’s after his third ignored attempt does he actively try to get her attention. The second his hand makes contact with her arm, Leigh’s shrugging him off, a look of pure disgust on her face.

“Touch me again and I will send your balls so far up your throat you’ll be coughing out sperm for the next ten years.”

He puts his hands up, a cocky grin on his face, but he does as she says and backs off. Leigh almost breathes a sigh of relief, because like a fool, she really thought that that would be the end of it.

In no time, she gets to the front of the line and buys her coffee. When she gets her order, she’s already thinking ahead to what she has planned for the rest of the day.

Walking out of the store, Leigh’s so caught up in her own thoughts that a simple prod to her back causes her to trip over her own feet. Stumbling slightly, Leigh can’t do anything but watch as her drink slips out of her hand.

In her haste to cuss out the guy who ran into her, she doesn’t hear the shocked “shit!” from next to her.

Spinning around, Leigh comes face to face with the man from earlier. She shoves him back before he can open his mouth. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

He has the audacity to ogle her, dragging his eyes up and down her body, before smugly putting his hands up. “Hey, no need to be a bitch.”

His words only makes her anger flare up even more. She’s about to give him a piece of her mind when a hand on her arm stops her.

It takes everything in her not to slap the hand away. Leigh turns, ready to yell at the second person who has touched her in so few minutes, but she freezes when she sees a stranger drenched in what she assumed was her coffee order. Her mouth drops open in shock. “Oh my god. I am so sorry.”

You shoot her a strained smile before turning your attention on the man who started this whole thing. He looks a little annoyed that Leigh’s attention has been taken away, but the glare you send at him only agitates him more.

“I believe the lady told you to leave her alone.”

His expression sours, lips pressing together into a thin line. “No one asked for your opinion.” He reaches out an arm towards Leigh again, but before he can make contact, you’re pushing him away.

“Last warning. Or I’m going to do something that we’re both going to regret.”

He scoffs. “Yeah, like wha--”

His words come to an abrupt stop and Leigh has to stop herself from flinching backwards when your hand comes swinging up.

Leigh’s eyes go wide as she watches you put down your now empty cup of coffee. There’s a very satisfied smirk on your face as you take in the drenched man.

“Oops. I guess my arm slipped.”

His face turns red, mouth spluttering as he tries to cuss you out.

You simply cut him off again. “You’re lucky I got an iced coffee. Maybe next time I’ll come back out with a hot drink.”

His eyes go wide when you motion heading back into the shop. Knowing there’s a high chance that you’d hold true to your words, he angrily stomps away.

As you watch the man’s departing figure, Leigh finally turns back to you. She attempts to hand you a napkin, and you gladly take it. “Look, I’m so sorry--”

“It’s fine,” you chuckle, dabbing at your shirt despite knowing that it was definitely going to stain.

She blinks. You just had an entire cup of coffee dumped on you. And then you proceeded to waste your own cup of coffee. There’s no chance in hell that you’re fine.

Before she has a chance to convince you otherwise, you’re speaking again. “Let me buy you another coffee.”

Leigh raises an eyebrow at you. “I spilled my coffee on you. And you want to buy me another coffee?”

You shrug, not looking too bothered by your flawed logic. “You look like you could really use a coffee.”

She doesn’t know whether or not to feel insulted by what you said, but truth to be told, Leigh did really want that coffee. So like any sane person, she agrees.

And as she walks back with you into the store and you launch into a totally unprompted conversation about hot versus iced coffee, Leigh weirdly thinks that maybe this could be the start of a friendship.

---

The second time

“And he asked if the pilates helped with stamina in bed.”

“No, he didn’t.”

When Leigh nods you break out into a fresh bout of laughter. You pause slightly to wipe at the tears in your eyes.

“And he asked this within the first five minutes of meeting you?”

She nods again and you choke on your drink before full belly laughing.

“Oh my god, men these days.”

“I know, right?”

It only takes a couple of weeks, but soon the two of you are inseparable. Your quick wit is the thing that intrigues Leigh at first, but the longer she spends time with you, the more she finds herself enjoying every aspect of your personality.

Currently the two of you are lounging in her house, laughing over the date she had just gone out on. As the two of you revel in her lively story, Leigh ignores the small voice in her head that’s pointing out how weird it was that you were the first person she wanted to call after the date ended.

Your hand falls onto her arm and this time Leigh can’t help but feel a flutter deep in her chest at the action.

“Thank you so much for that. I really needed a good laugh.”

Leigh nods at your words although her mind’s a million miles away. Everything seems like a noisy buzz as she finds her eyes entranced by the motion of your tongue, the pink muscle coming out to catch some of the lingering bits of wine on your lips.

Coughing, she rips her eyes away, busying herself with refilling both of your cups.

Seeing that Leigh’s done recapping her horrible date, you launch into a tale of your own failed date.

As she sits back and listens to your voice, Leigh tries to push away the weird tingling sensation running through her. At the same time, a voice that strangely sounds like Drew’s is ringing through her head, telling her that it’s okay to feel how she’s feeling. After all, she's making new friends. And that’s a good thing, right?

Only Leigh’s certain she’s not supposed to impatiently count the hours until the next time she gets to see her friends, or get that giddy teenage excitement whenever she’s around them either. The death of her husband really did a number on her, but Leigh’s pretty sure she can still understand her own emotions.

So while Leigh puts up an indifferent front, somewhere in the back of her mind Leigh’s already leaning into her selfish desires. Because god knows she deserves a bit of selfishness after everything she’s been through.

So Leigh admits it to herself that maybe, just maybe she’s crushing on you a bit.

And she’s completely fine with it because it’s totally normal. Friends crush on each other all the time, right?

Right?

---

The third time

Leigh had been having a fairly nice day. Woke up at a pretty great hour. Had time to squeeze in some yoga before heading to the studio. And her classes went as smoothly as possible. Everything was going great. Until Jules called.

All it takes is two words, “I’m sorry,” for the date to register in her mind. A feeling of dread settles down in her guts as Leigh mulls over the implications of forgetting a day like today.

Five years ago to this date she was walking the aisle to a man she thought she’d be with forever. It’s been her favorite date until it became her most dreaded date, and now she’s forgotten about it.

It’s a couple hours after Jules’s call, but no matter how hard she tries, Leigh can’t shake the feeling of being a failure.

She loved Matt. She promised a whole life with him, exchanged vows together. He made her so, so happy all those years they were together. So how could she forget something as dear as their wedding anniversary?

The cup of vodka she pours and all but inhales does little to numb the pain. If anything, it aggravates her bad mood even more. Even the weather outside’s matching her mood, the torrents of rain not letting up.

Guiltily, you’re the first person her mind goes to, and before she can stop herself, Leigh finds herself dialing your number.

It only takes a couple rings for you to pick up.

“Hey Leigh, what’s up?”

Chattering in the background is the first clue that you were in fact, not free. She wants to kick herself for the small hope she had that maybe you would come keep her company.

“I…” her voice trails off as she tries to come up with an excuse for calling. It’s not that she feels embarrassed to tell you the truth. Quite frankly, she’s sure that you would comfort the brunette and try to make her feel better for her blunder the second she asked you to. It’s just that as she contemplates coming up with a lie, she remembers that you told her your coworker asked you out to dinner tonight.

The thought of you having dinner with some other woman only makes her feel worse.

After a couple more seconds of silence, you finally speak up again. “Is everything okay?”

The genuine concern in your voice is the last straw.

“You know what, just forget it.”

“Wait, Lei--” your voice is cut off as she ends the call.

Throwing her phone onto the cushions, Leigh shakes her head, wondering why the short phone call only managed to do the opposite of what she thought it would do.

She downs what’s left of her drink, glaring menacingly at the empty cup as if it was the bane of all of her issues. Sighing, Leigh stumbles to her feet, determined to drink herself to a stupor.

Only to realize that her house is fully out of any alcohol.

This time she doesn’t stop the scream from coming out. It’s almost therapeutic how she can feel some of the stress and sadness fade away with the scream.

Crumpling to the ground, Leigh drops her head into her hands. The tears aren’t far behind. Soon her body’s full of aches and chills because of her uncomfortable position on the floor.

Leigh’s not sure how long she’s been wallowing there on the floor before three sharp knocks on her door interrupts her pity party. At first Leigh’s content with ignoring the person at her door, but three knocks turn into four, four into five, and then the knocks don’t stop. Grumbling under her breath, she slowly makes her way to the door.

Leigh’s already preparing her “go away” speech before she reaches the knob, but the sight on her doorstep makes her freeze. She quickly wipes at her eyes in an attempt at making herself seem more presentable.

“(Y/N)? What are you doing here?”

Breathing heavily, you give her your best smile. Leigh can only stare at you wide eyed as she takes in your drenched state. From your state of attire, it’s clear that you’ve been out in the rain for quite some time.

“You called.”

While your words make her heart feel like it’s going to fall out of her chest, she instead chooses to go the safer route of questioning. “Why are you wet?”

You take the change in topic without questioning. “My car broke down about two blocks away. I ran the rest of the way here.”

Her mouth falls open at your simple declaration. Despite her traitorous heart feeling relieved at the sight of you in front of her, Leigh can’t stop her mind from trying to find a reason why you shouldn’t be here. Because there’s no way in hell someone as good as you would be here with her willingly. “Weren’t you just out on a date though?”

But you keep giving her reasons for staying. “You’re more important than a date.”

Without anything left to say, Leigh motions for you to come in. You give her a small thanks before nonchalantly adding, “It also didn’t hurt that she was a tad self-centered. Didn’t let me get a word in all night.”

Leigh can’t stop the snort from flying out of her mouth. Your smile only widens. “There you go, there’s that smile I love.”

Slapping your arm, the brunette rolls her eyes. “Get in here you idiot.”

Leigh grabs your jacket once you take it off, intending to hang it on the hanger by the door. But when your fingers brush against hers, she feels a flaming spark run through her limbs.

The jacket hits the floor with a thump.

“Jeez, Leigh. How much have you had to drink?”

The dirty look she sends you only makes you laugh harder. She ignores your apologies huffed out between breaths of laughter, choosing instead to whip your jacket at you, splashing you with even more water.

You put up your hands in surrender and Leigh’s eyes narrow at you.

“Don’t make me kick you out.”

“As if you’d ever.” It’s said in such a laid back way, but with a start, Leigh realizes how right you are. Now that you are here, the pain feels so much more tolerable. Her guilt for forgetting her anniversary is quickly being overshadowed by her joy of being so close to you.

And then you’re grabbing her arm and all but dragging her towards the living room. You make yourself at home, pulling up a random Netflix movie before dumping a week’s worth of snacks from her pantry onto the table.

Leigh simply raises an eyebrow at you, but the grin on your face quickly makes one appear on her own. It’s easy to forget about what’s bothering her when she’s so caught up in you, but it’s not long before you’re whispering in the quiet of the room, asking if there’s anything she wanted to talk about.

The confession comes soon after.

When she admits her guilt and all of the pain, with tears streaming down her face, you just listen. You listen with attentive ears and open your arms, letting her fall into them.

Within minutes, she can feel the crushing pressure of the day catch up to her. With your soft hands soothingly running through her hair and the strong beat of your heart honing in her attention, Leigh finds her eyes growing heavy.

One last thought floats through her mind right before she slips over the precipice.

This might be a bit more than a crush.

And her eyes shoot wide open.

---

The fourth time

Leigh’s been avoiding you.

There’s no other way to explain what she’s been doing.

It’s nothing you did. It’s more how you make her feel. Every time she closes her eyes she can’t see anything but your smile. Every time she wakes she’s impatiently waiting until the next time you’re coming over to her place.

It only takes a couple nights of restless pacing but Leigh’s already come to a conclusion. This is no longer a crush. No longer crazed infatuation. Quite simply, it’s starting to look a bit like love.

So Leigh tries cutting all contact with you, hoping that it’ll cut off the feelings as well.

Your calls go unanswered. Texts left unread.

A week passes.

You keep calling, keep texting. Leigh ignores the voice in her head telling her how unfair it is for her to be doing this. You’re a great person. And in another life, in another world where she never met Matt, never lost her husband, maybe the two of you would have been something amazing. Because you deserve more than someone like her. So she resolves to pushing you away, hoping that if she pushes you away long enough maybe you’ll realize she’s not worth the effort. But to her chagrin, you keep trying to reach out.

Leigh’s not sure if she feels annoyed or relieved.

After class one day she pretends not to hear Jules on the phone reassuring you that her sister’s okay. It only makes the guilt pooling deep in her gut intensify.

She starts listening to your voicemails. They’re often random musings of you complaining about your day at work, with a couple sprinkled in whines at her to pick up the phone because you, quote, “miss your best, and only, friend.” They always end with a “m’kay, love you, talk to you soon,” and Leigh can’t pretend her stomach doesn’t flip every time she hears those words.

And true to her word, her stomach flips again when she finishes your latest voicemail. Sighing, Leigh pockets her phone before making her way out of her last class of the day. She pauses by the front desk, jolting down a note for her mother, reminding her about the business investor who’s coming in to check out the studio next week. And it’s there, when she’s crossing her t’s and dotting her i’s that Leigh’s plan to avoid you for the rest of her life goes up in flames.

With the sun shining into the lobby of Beautiful Beasts, you walk into the studio, picnic basket in hand as you animatedly talk to the phone caught between your shoulder and ear. Thankfully you haven’t seemed to notice her yet, and Leigh takes those couple extra seconds to admire you after a week of no contact.

Her breath is taken away when she watches the way your clothes cling to your body. It’s just a simple pair of jeans and t-shirt, but she can’t seem to pull her eyes away from the way your shirt accentuates the muscles in your arms, or the way your skinny jeans seem to--

Leigh can feel her face burn before she can even finish that thought.

Almost as if you can feel the weight of her gaze, you look up, locking eyes with her. For the second time in minutes her breath is taken away when you shoot her one of your megawatt smiles. Something about it’s so infectious that she finds herself returning a smile to you without thought.

Almost as quickly as your smile comes, it disappears as your eyebrows furrow up in annoyance. You roll your eyes at whatever the person on the other side of the line is saying. “Oh go suck a dick, Kellan. I took today off weeks ago. It’s not my fault you’re incompetent at your own job.”

Leigh has to try hard not to laugh at your words. The second you spot the amusement on her face Leigh can see the annoyance dissipate off your body.

“Whatever dude. It’s your problem. I gotta go, so good luck and don’t mess up the project or Frank’s gonna be on your ass. Okay, bye now.”

The second you hang up the phone Leigh can’t stop the chuckles.

“Do we have something planned for today?”

It’s almost comical how fast your eyebrows move towards your hairline. “Don’t tell me you forgot about our monthly scheduled picnic date, Shaw.”

Leigh can’t do anything but gape at you, because she did indeed forget about your monthly picnic date. To be fair, too caught up on avoiding you, Leigh hasn’t really had much time to pore over her calendar.

When it becomes apparent that Leigh isn’t going to say anything, you groan loudly. “Leigh, you said I could pick the food this month. I swear to god if you make up some excuse I will take over planning what food we eat for the next two picnics.”

It’s a combination of you whining her name and something she can only take as a threat that snaps Leigh out of her stupor. Her nose wrinkles in playful disgust. “No way. I cannot stomach another round of Rocky Mountain Oysters.”

“Okay, look, that was one mistake. And I admitted it. You can’t revoke my food privileges just because I fell for a food scam. The name literally implies that they’re oysters. How was I supposed to know they weren’t oysters?!”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe read the menu? I’m pretty sure it lists the ingredients right under the dish name,” she teases, internally squirming at the reminder of your disastrous picnic pick a couple months back.

You take her teasing with good fun before skipping forward to loop your arm around hers. The touch of your bare arm against hers sets Leigh’s skin on fire and she has to fight the urge to squirm out of your grip. “Whatever, Shaw. C’mon, we have to go before all the good spots at the park are taken up.”

Leigh finds herself nodding without second thought, knowing that she’d go with you anywhere.

The walk to the park is delightfully entertaining, and Leigh spends the entire time regretting pushing you away. You never once mention the lapse of communication between the two of you, rather taking the week apart as an excuse to go on a tangent about how your week went. Leigh can’t do anything but stare, wondering why you’re being so nice.

Even when the two of you finally settle down in a perfectly sunny yet shady spot, the question burns on the tip of her tongue. Leigh manages to hold it in for a little while longer, through the gourmet sandwiches that you had, within the first two seconds of sitting down, boastfully claimed to have made, and through the healthy vegetable smoothies you despised but still stomached for her before asking it.

“Why aren’t you mad at me?”

You frown. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Because I’ve been avoiding you?” Just saying it out loud made Leigh feel a little bit like an asshole. You’ve been nothing but kind to her, yet here she is, treating you horribly.

“Oh, is that what you’ve been doing?”

Leigh catches the grin on your face and rolls her eyes. “Okay well now I don’t feel bad about it anymore.”

The sound of your giggle only makes her heart soar. “Look, I get it. We all have those days where we want to be alone. And I’m more than happy to give you the space you want. But I want you to know I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here for you whenever you need me to. And even when you don’t. Because I care about you and I won’t stop being here for you.”

And Leigh wants to confess to you right now, because she’s never been more sure that she’s in love with you than right now in this moment. Fucked up emotions be damned, she’s in love and you’re just so good to her, it would be a crime to let you go. But then your attention is captured by the dogs barking in the far distance and you’re pulling at her to go pet them with you. And Leigh can’t ever deny you anything, so it’s not surprising that she pushes down her bubbling confession and instead takes your offered hand.

---

The fifth time

The clicking and scraping of utensils against the plates were the only noise as the two of you finished up your dinner.

It’s been about a month since Leigh’s admitted it to herself that she’s in love with you, but did that mean she did anything about that admission? Of course not. Each time the words threaten to come spilling out she always seems to find an excuse to not say it. At first it was her mother needing her to fix the sink at home. Then it was a need to head into the studio for a last minute zumba class. If someone was looking for a grade A love confession avoider, Leigh would be your girl.

So after a month full of failed love confessions, Leigh finds herself having dinner with you at a restaurant that has been rated five stars on yelp with reviews praising it as a great date night spot. She’s not sure if you’re aware of all the singing praises, but if the starstruck expression on your face when the two of you arrived was any indication, the answer to that is no. So it’s safe to assume the two of you are only here as, sadly, friends.

“So… Whatever happened to… Kylie? Karie? Um… that girl you were seeing?”

You laugh, raising an eyebrow at Leigh’s failed line of questioning. “You mean Kelsey?”

Leigh rolls her eyes. “Well you obviously knew who I was talking about.”

You smirk at her response but answer anyway. “Things didn’t work out.” You shrug, seemingly unaffected by your failed relationship.

It seems to always be like this lately. Leigh digging for information about the girls you go out on dates with. A careful, almost rehearsed, response of things not working out between the two of you. If Leigh had to take a wild guess, she would say that maybe you’re not really putting yourself out there anymore.

Now that she’s been thinking about it, she hasn’t heard you talk about any dates on your own volition in a long time.

Those two facts paired up with the way you seem to always be around now sparks the flare of hope in her chest. From morning until night, or actually morning to morning the next day, you can often be found lounging in Leigh’s house or at the studio. There’s occasional times where you leave for meetings for work, but for the most part, you’re always around. If she’s being honest, she can’t remember the last time you didn’t spend a night in her house. Sometimes you slept in the spare bed. More times than not you fell asleep in her bed after a night of binging your new TV show addiction.

Could all this mean that maybe you feel something for her too?

Palms sweating profusely, Leigh sets down her silverware. Her action catches your attention and you pause, looking at her questioningly. Your gaze does nothing to alleviate the pounding of her heart.

And if you also feel something between the two of you, maybe, just maybe, you were also waiting for Leigh to make a move too.

Gathering all of her courage before she can lose it, Leigh just blurts out the words. “Do you want to go out together sometime?”

You give her a weird look. “Are we not going out right now?”

Shaking her head at your obvious lack of understanding, she tries again. “Together. On a date. With me. Would you… would you like to go out on a date with me sometime in the near future?”

All time seems to stop at this moment. Your eyes widen slightly at her question, mouth parting in surprise. There’s no masking the surprise in your expression and Leigh fights the urge to sink into her seat. Did she read all of this wrong? Did she make up all those signs in her head?

But then slowly and surely she sees the smile widen on your face. A smile that she recognizes as a special one you only reserve for her. And with that smile, Leigh feels her nerves dissipate.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

---

Although the fifth time was the last time she fell for you before giving you a shot, that was in no way the last time she fell for you.

Because she fell for you after you won her mother over. When she found out you were driving Jules to and from work simply because her car was broken. When you refused to leave her side after your first major fight.

She fell even further when you got down on one knee and promised to love her forever.

And then again years later when your daughter was born.

There wasn’t a moment where Leigh stopped falling for you. And although it was scary, she knew she would be fine. Because you’d always be there to catch her.

---------------------

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#leigh shaw #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw imagine #elizabeth olsen #elizabeth olsen x reader #sorry for your loss #Ace writes

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cdyssey · 3 years ago

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Grace and Frankie 7B Thoughts:

Spoilers for the entire season, so if you’re not caught up yet, pls be aware!

Man, I did not realize how hard it would be to say goodbye to this show, but it was and is. It’s been in my life since I was fifteen, and now I’m 22. That’s kind of insane. I wept like a baby through those last two episodes, largely because of the beautiful emotional beats that were hit… and partially because I was dealing with the fact that this was the culmination of 7+ years of being in love with this show. Not only did I grow up with it, but it was important to my inner maturation as well. It was partially because I loved shipping Grace and Frankie sm that I eventually discovered that I’m biromantic, which I will always be appreciative of the show for.

While there were some parts of 7B that exasperated me—it wouldn’t be a G&F season if it didn’t, lmao—for the most part, I thought that this was an exceptionally strong closer to seven seasons of this exceptional show. Maybe I’ll kind of tackle individual character and relationship arcs to kick off this review, and then I can just go into random/episode observations?

Characters and Relationships:

Robert and Sol: My sincerest and absolute kudos to Sam and Martin for delivering their last arc with so much gravitas and pathos. It’s sometimes difficult for me to care what these two are up to, especially when they’re removed from Grace and Frankie, but Jesus H. Christ, the way I cried multiple times at their storyline. Oh, my God. The moment when Brianna and Mallory realized that their dad’s memory was slipping and Sol tearfully put his hands on their shoulders as they tried not to fall apart in front of their dad. When Sol was explaining Robert’s memory lapses to that reviewer and asked for a chance for Robert to end his acting career with dignity. When Robert clearly started describing Grace when he was supposed to be remembering his first meeting with Sol. And that last hotel scene—the way I fucking wept when the elevator doors closed upon their last kiss. I just. I’m still at a loss for words for how beautifully and painfully these two captured the specific horror that comes with memory loss.

Bud & Allison: God, Bud was so effing annoying in his final storyline sjwjwjsjsnansn, and Allison was actually really enjoyable in comparison as she played the straight woman to her husband’s midlife crisis antics. I appreciated that he had a complicated relationship with his job, but I’m not sure that stand-up comedian was the alternate route I would have gone for him. Even at the open mic night when he was supposedly doing well, I hated the jokes that he was telling about Allison. They were so mean-spirited!!! Also, all the lying he was doing! Jesus, just communicate, man! Also, KASKSJJSSJ, I know they probably didn’t have a baby actor for Faith around because of COVID guidelines, but it’s hilarious that the baby wasn’t seen once in the latter half of the season.

Coyote: Coyote’s storyline kind of hurt my heart. ;-; His family did him all kinds of dirty in multiple ways, especially at that brunch with Jessica’s parents. I really wish we could have gotten to see Frankie and Coyote reconciling onscreen after his talk with Grace because there was a lot to unpack there that wasn’t particularly closed off well. I also think they sort of skimmed over Coyote breaking his sobriety for the first time in several years. This being said, I super enjoyed that one-on-one he had with Grace. It’s one of the only times I think they’ve talked on an individual basis, and I love that they were both honest with each other about using substances to numb their pain.

The Hansons: One of my fave moments from the season was when the Hanson four got together and realized that they were horrible pieces of shits to their former housekeeper; it was realistic, and it allowed for all four of these emotionally repressed assholes to talk to each other on a real level about the traumas they inflicted upon each other as a family unit.

The Bergsteins: That being said, I don’t think we got as much closure as we could have gotten from the four Bergsteins... in a way, I they’ve always been the less developed family between the two. It was probably easier to mine the emotional turmoil that boils beneath the Hansons’ cold exteriors than the collectively more emotionally adjusted Bergsteins. However, I would have loved to see a similar scene to the one above where they hash out the different tensions between them: Sol and Frankie not trusting Coyote. Coyote having caused so much pain in his earlier years to breed that distrust, Bud’s hurt feelings over Frankie’s will, just little things like that!

Brianna and Mallory: While the Taneth storylines annoyed the hell out of me, lmaooooooo, I’m glad that the show ultimately remembered that their relationship is the most important that each other has. God, I loved Mallory trying to help smooth tensions between Brianna and Barry’s parents. And the scene where Brianna realized that she couldn’t work at Say Grace anymore in order to preserve her and Mal’s relationship. And I cried when Mallory finally realized that Brianna was deeply hurt over Barry, and she went over and let her sister cry in her arms. Scenes like those were lovely and so perfectly earned, and I’m glad that their arcs ended on the idea of forging a new path for themselves—together.

Brianna and Barry: Eh. I’ve always been kinda neutral on Brianna and Barry, mostly ‘cause they’ve seemed to have radically different ideas about life from the get-go, and that fact alone has led to them hurting to each other hundreds of times over seven seasons. I was ambivalent on whether they stayed together or broke up; it just surprised me that it took the better part of seven seasons for writers to conclude that they’d be better broken up dhsiofhsiohf.

Nick and Grace: Honestly, I’m really pleased with how they addressed and wrapped up the Nick and Grace plot. Grace was able to identify that she became more passive when she was Nick—even going as far as to act enfeebled for him at the expense of her own ambitions; and she respected her enough to end it without much emotional hesitation. Nick had some incredible (and much needed) growth as well. I loved what he said to Coyote and Jessica about how even though he and Grace had something magical, she ultimately did not choose him. Oh, gosh, and his last episode was great as well. It was here for one of the first times that I truly bought that he loved Grace and was hurt by the knowledge that she loved Frankie more than him! (THAT LINE!!!!!! THE FACT THAT WAS A REAL LINE! WOW!) And man, Grace and Nick apologizing each other for their failed marriage, that tender embrace in the kitchen... and when it came down to it, their final scene replicating what their entire relationship had been from the beginning. When Frankie needed Grace, Grace chose Frankie, and this time, Nick knew it was his time to bow out. When it comes down to it, I genuinely really like Nick, and he added so much to the G&F canon. Peter Gallagher did an excellent, excellent job with him.

Grace and Frankie: And now here we go. Here’s the big one—our beloved Grace and Frankie. I think I should start off with identifying what my expectations were for them this season. While I ship Grace and Frankie with my entire ass heart and think that the subtext for a romantic relationship for them is so palpable that it sometimes makes me want to vomit... I don’t think I went in thinking that we would get explicit confirmation of them being romantically involved. I wanted it. I sometimes thought that I was going to be proven wrong (ESPECIALLY IN THE HEAVEN SCENE JESUS GOD)... but my tempered expectations were thus: I was going to resolve to be happy if the end of Grace and Frankie was them affirming that their happily ever after was each other and no one else, that their love was prioritized over everything and all. And in my opinion, I think that this is exactly what happened. In so many dozens of times throughout this last half of the season—and in so many different ways—we were able to watch Grace and Frankie choose each other exactly in the way that Nick described to Coyote and Jessica. Oh, my God, there are almost too many times to count. When Grace said she was tired of catering to the men in her life, and Frankie knew that this meant that she wanted to be with her. When Frankie said that if she could, she wouldn’t go anywhere without Grace. When Grace said that Frankie was the only person she could feel secure with besides her beloved father. When Grace was literally having panic attacks at the thought of losing Frankie, and relatedly, when she was coping with this agonizing pain by trying to numb herself with substances. And when they confronted each other at Coyote’s fake wedding—my God, the raw pain in their voices as they spoke their truth. I ugly fucking sobbed!!!! Grace correctly identifying that Frankie was feeling relieved at the prospect of dying, and Frankie being brutally honest about the why. When she said she couldn’t paint anymore, and Grace’s eyes just widened in horror and complete understanding. When they were in Heaven and had some of the most painfully honest conversations we had ever seen of them; by the time they were trying to say goodbye to each other, I’d completely lost my shit!!!!!!! That fucking forehead touch! And by the time, Grace was helping Frankie paint—which was scored to a very romantic song by the way—I don’t think I could even see my screen!!!!!!!!!!! The last episode alone gave me everything I needed to happily believe that Grace and Frankie will never be apart from each other again in both a platonic and romantic capacity.

(This being said, I do think it is entirely valid to be angry and disappointed that the romance was not explicit, to feel as though the show has queerbaited this relationship for at least 4ish seasons, and if you feel this way, you’re right to do so—the subtext was there, and it was teased time and time again within the canon of the show. That was absolutely not made up.)

Stray Observations:

For just the odds and ends I didn’t cover above HSIOHSOIHOI. I’m still going to miss shit, though. Since I binged all these from, like, 2am to 8am, I might go back sometime later this week and watch them all over again and do a coherent roundup of things I missed.

Favorite 7B Episode: “The Beginning” — When I tell you I could wept through, like, 20 minutes of this episode’s runtime, I’m not even lying. I think Sol and Robert in the hotel being back to back with Grace helping Frankie with painting did me in—the parallel was so explicit. These partners will take care of each other until the day they die. Also, Dolly Parton!!!!! She was so fucking good!!!

Least Favorite 7B Episode: “The Wire” — Watching Grace and Frankie being painfully bad at being undercover was not fun, lmao, and then we got that horrible Sol/Robert accuse Peter’s boyfriend of stealing plot, and an unpleasant dosage of the Taneth storyline. HOWEVER, I do love the fact that Grace realized that she couldn’t let Nick betray his best friend because she’d betrayed her own and it was the worst thing she’d ever done. Amazing. Even the weird episodes always have their gems.

Some plot lines/choices that made me go what the fuck: (1) Okay, I understand what the show was trying to do with having no one remember stuff about Frankie apart from things she’d done with Grace, but that felt so wrong to me iodshoiahfiohfoi, especially coming from Sol and the Bergstein kids. Like, y’all assholes could not remember one thing about your ex-wife and mother of 40+ years. (2) Why on Earth did we have to endure two Grace-and-Frankie suck at doing crimes plots HSIOHSIOHSIOHSIOHS?

Some particularly good acting moments that nearly undid me: (1) Sol just collapsing in his chair when Frankie said that she couldn’t paint anymore. He knew exactly how much of a deep cut that was. (2) Frankie in her studio, trying and failing to pick up her brush. The way I cried, on God. Lily Tomlin does pathos so well. It’s always subtle and unfailingly raw. (3) Every time Grace tried to repress her panic over the possibility of Frankie dying. Jane’s body constricted language and wide, anxious eyes got me every time.

Overall, I loved this season, in both its glorious ups and its weird downs, and that ending shot of Grace and Frankie walking together on the beach—alive, together, and well—will stick with me for a long time.

And so will this show.

Forever and always.

Thank you, Grace and Frankie.

For everything.

#grace and frankie #grace x frankie #grace and frankie spoilers #gaf spoilers #s: grace and frankie #i am 100% going to write some loose end and retrospective fics for s7 #if you have any ideas #feel free to hit me up in my inbox #and i might incorporate some into fics i have planned #or take prompts

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fyodcrs · 3 years ago

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Hello!! Kris here once again!! I hope you're well! 💖✨ This time I want to ask you about the relationship between Dazai and Fyodor! How do you think Dazai and Fyodor met? From what we can gather from the manga, Dazai is already aware about his intentions to retrieve "The Book" and it's clear that both of them are set up to serve as a foil to each other. The first interaction they have in the manga is interesting because it is Dazai who points out how similar their thought process is. In addition to this, it seems like Fyodor plays a big role in Dazai's personal arc to realize the "good side of humans" and life in general (referring to the times Dazai speaks with hope while countering Fyodor's remarks, a contrast to the times Dazai has a negative overview of life.) I would love to hear your take on this! :D

@kunikiiida-kuuun Kris! *tackle hugs again* Hi!! Oh my gosh oh my gosh, thank you so much for this!! I’m sorry it took me so long!!! This turned into quite the long-winded response, so hopefully it stays halfway coherent asdfghjghj.

Ahhhh, Dazai and Fyodor. The northern demon and the demon prodigy. The rat king and the walking waste of bandages.

How and when Dazai and Fyodor first met is a really interesting question. It’s a pretty popular theory that they met in the interval of time between when Dazai left the Mafia and when he joined the Agency, and I can see that being the case. It would make a certain narrative sense for that to be when they crossed paths for the first time; it would’ve been a time when Dazai was in a kind of liminal state, starting to piece together a new identity for himself from the dying words of his best friend. To have met “that monster” during that period would have been quite the shock to the system, I imagine.

I also think it’s possible they met while Dazai was still in the Mafia. Fyodor has probably been in Yokohama a while. We don’t know how long he’s been working with Fukuchi, but it has to have been at least three years, because Sigma was “created” three years ago - and it’s implied that Fyodor is the one who concocted the entire Decay of Angels plan, and Fukuchi defeated and captured Bram, an integral part of that plan, eight years ago. Fukuchi is so bad at this whole villain thing, he constantly bungles shit up when things go off script and it’s up to him to make decisions (look at Tachihara, the fact he would have gotten himself killed like twice now if he didn’t have his deus ex machina sword, the mistake with Jouno, and the whole thing with Aya), so I find it kind of hard to believe he thought to secretly stash poor Bram away just in case, lmao. I’d guess that Fyodor and Fukuchi likely met while Fukuchi was abroad, maybe while he was in Eastern Europe dealing with the vampires, but according to Dead Apple, Fyodor was in Yokohama when Dazai was sixteen, six years before the main timeline. So it’s entirely possible Fyodor and Dazai crossed paths while Dazai was with the Mafia, or at least that Dazai caught wind of his presence before he left.

I hope we get the full backstory at some point, ‘cause I’m really curious not just when they met but what happened between them. I feel like it must have been something completely innocuous, like they wandered into the same café one day or something, but it set both their demon senses tingling, haha. It doesn’t seem like, based on their interactions, that anything significant would have happened between them, but clearly they both were able to read each other perfectly in that one encounter, to the point where they both were able to predict each other’s moves down to the second when they met again in the alleyway (and in DA), and that Dazai figured out that Fyodor was after The Book and Fyodor figured out that Dazai would try to stop him.

Fyodor and Dazai are so interesting together. They are perfectly equal; Fyodor is the only one who can stand on equal ground with Dazai, and vice versa. They’re so evenly matched that they’re pretty much at a constant stalemate. They’re absolutely ridiculous, honestly. They can predict what moves the other one will make and they can predict that the other one will predict that they’re predicting each other, so it’s just like, around and around we go, lmao. And I mean, they play mental chess together. THEY HAVE THEIR OWN SECRET LANGUAGE THAT THEY CAME UP WITH LITERALLY ON THE FLY. What kind of soulmate trope bullshit -

These monsters...! (affectionate)

Fyodor is definitely meant to be a foil to Dazai, but it’s a very interesting dynamic, because they aren’t perfect opposites. Fyodor is not a “dark” version of Dazai - Mafia Dazai was the “dark” version of Dazai, and, well, the “darkest” version of Dazai is Mori, not Fyodor. And Dazai can hardly be called a “light” version of Fyodor. Dazai, after all, is not by nature a good person. He’s essentially amoral; as Odasaku said, good and evil mean nothing to Dazai. But he chose to become a good person because of Odasaku, and because, as I’ll talk more about in a bit, what Dazai has always wanted is a reason to live.

Whereas Dazai is amoral, however, Fyodor is driven entirely by a strong sense of morality and justice. Except Fyodor’s morality and sense of justice has been twisted and warped into something black and cold that only brings darkness and death wherever he goes. Fyodor is not evil, but something worse than evil. He is Crime; he is Punishment:

Both Dazai and Fyodor transcend traditional notions of “good” and “evil,” so their dynamic, too, is hardly the traditional protagonist-antagonist dynamic. Usually, it’s the villain who tells the hero “we’re not so different, you and I,” but you’re right, it’s Dazai who points out that they’re one and the same:

There’s never been anyone able to play Fyodor’s game, to match him move by move. Until now, of course.

What Dazai and Fyodor both lack is empathy. Neither of them are able to really connect with anyone else because of their vastly superior intelligence and sense of detachment from the world. They are both cruel and manipulative, and they both use people like puppets or chess pieces. They are very much alike in a lot of ways. They are not perfect opposites; rather, they’re like reflections of each other seen “through a glass darkly,” to use a Biblical metaphor. They’re two of a kind, but they’ve both gone down separate paths. The way they think is exactly alike - except for one fundamental difference.

But, see, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t really think that Dazai counters Fyodor with hope per se, and nothing he says in response to Fyodor suggests that he has a more positive view of humanity. But I think you’re right about that last part - he is starting to see value in life. And that, I think, is the fundamental difference.

Fyodor believes that all human beings are inherently bad, helpless to resist their violent impulses even when they know they are being manipulated:

He specifically connects humanity’s sinfulness with the existence of abilities:

I talked about this when I explained my theory on the nature of Fyodor’s ability: I believe that Fyodor thinks this way because this is what he believes about himself and his own ability. He thinks his own ability is sinful, and that he himself can only be purified if it and his very existence is erased. The fact that he projects this belief onto the world at large is, I think, partly because of an overinflated ego, but also probably because of his experiences. We still know nothing about Fyodor’s past, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a large part of the reason he’s come to see abilities as the core of humanity’s evil is because of the war. Just think about how even Yosano’s ability was used for horribly inhumane purposes during the war.

This is what Dazai has to say in response:

Dazai does not respond to Fyodor by saying that yes, human beings can be cruel, but they can be good, too. They can choose. Sometimes a former hitman swears off killing and chooses to raise orphans, instead. Sometimes a young girl forced to kill because of her ability is saved and given a chance at a new life. Sometimes one of the most notorious Mafia bosses in history chooses to join the side that saves people. This is the kind of thing Atsushi might say in response, but Dazai doesn’t say any of that - instead, he basically says, “So what?” He agrees with Fyodor that humanity is bad, but he doesn’t really think that’s so wrong.

And this is what he says to Fyodor in prison:

Again, maybe it’s just me, but this does not come across as a positive view of human beings. If anything, it’s just as bleak as Fyodor’s. What Dazai is saying is that Fyodor is wrong not in thinking humanity is bad, but in thinking that that makes them boring. He’s disputing Fyodor’s belief that himself and Dazai are somehow above the normal, “stupid” people, and he’s saying that their ability to manipulate and control others really gets them nowhere. And if you kind of read between the lines, I think what Dazai’s saying here is that life has meaning.

We still know so little about Fyodor, but we do know that he wants to erase all ability-users from the world. This, naturally, includes himself. We really don’t know for sure if Fyodor intends to erase abilities on their own or if he indeed wants to completely erase ability-users themselves. But I think the latter is probably true, because he does seem to believe that life itself is a crime. Look at what he says to Karma after Ace’s death:

Karma thinks that Fyodor is looking at another person like they’re “a stain on the wall.” Fyodor appears to see no value in life.

And this is what he says to Karma after he kills him:

Fyodor believes that only death can bring salvation. And this, I think, is what Fyodor is really after: salvation for his own soul.

One way in which I think Dazai and Fyodor are alike is that they are both characterized by despair, loneliness, and a desire to die. But Dazai is starting to see meaning in life, even if the world is messed up, even if so much of life is struggle. The major difference between the two of them, I think, is that Dazai has always been searching for a reason to live, while Fyodor has always been searching for a way to die. Dazai has begun to find his reason for living, because his world is a little more beautiful now, just like Odasaku said it would be.

And I do agree that Fyodor plays a large part in this development for Dazai, because Dazai sees so much of himself in Fyodor. He sees how Fyodor reflects back at him the darkness he used to live in, the agony he’s felt for so long. It’s not a “what Dazai might have been” sort of scenario, I don’t think, because like I said before, what Dazai might have been is Mori; Fyodor and Dazai are too different philosophically for either of them to have ever “been” the other. But they’re exactly alike in every other way, two sides of the same coin, two peas in a pod, and Dazai can see that. He can completely understand Fyodor because he understands exactly what Fyodor is and why he is what he is.

I’m very interested to see how Dazai might affect Fyodor in turn. If maybe Dazai can make Fyodor question himself.

But this is just my interpretation of their characters! Asagiri-sensei might have intended Dazai’s worldview to come across as more positive than I take it to be, I really can’t know. And I might be totally off-base in interpreting Fyodor as a tragic character, but this is just what I think of him based on what we have been given and based on the themes of the real Dostoevsky’s novel “Crime and Punishment,” which is all about despair, tragedy, and ultimate redemption through love and Christian faith.

And I do hope Fyodor gets redemption, in the end (*slides Asagiri-sensei twenty bucks* please?). It would be so, so interesting if Dazai were to play a part in convincing Fyodor he’s wrong, and that his world could be a little more beautiful, too, if he made the same choice Dazai did - not in changing Fyodor’s worldview to match his own, but in making Fyodor realize that this is not the right path to salvation. That’s what happens in my fyozai headcanons, anyway. (◡‿◡*)❤ Dazai, you gotta give Fyo the hug he needs, you’re the only one, you’re our only hope!! He can’t use his ability on you, he won’t be able to resist!! (There’s also Sigma, who could potentially play a significant role in Fyodor’s development and give him the hug he needs.🥺)

Let me know what you think! Dazai and Fyodor are such fascinating nuanced characters, I love them both so so much, and I love their dynamic! I’m really interested to see how it all plays out for the two of them!

Big BIG hug!! You’re absolutely the best!! ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧˚ 💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖

#fyozai #Fyodor #Dazai #BSD #BSD Fyodor #BSD Dazai #otp: cat and mouse #I had so much fun with this!!!#thank you ~#I really think Dazai has come a long way #although his view on the world really hasn't changed #it feels like his view on life certainly has #and I just 🥺🥺 I love him so much #I'd die for these monsters #they're my babies your honor #long post

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