#I’m trying to say something but tumblr might get mad

[wormbeetle]

Freak.

[tinkeli]

Stay. ✧ Rain Carradine x fem!reader

Warnings: Alcohol use, shameless smut, language

Summary: You've been pining over your best friend's ex for months. Of course, she'd never like you back. Probably.

Author's note: first post on tumblr in years, and also my first fanfic ever lol. English is not my first language so I'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, also wrote this when sick so it might be confusing LMAO. Anyways i need rain so bad it isnt funny anymore

wc: ~4,7k

✶

“Rain.” The name rolled off your tongue smoothly, as if you had repeated it a lot - which you had. To yourself, mostly. Tyler stood in front of you, his curious expression shifting to one of slight bewilderment. 

“Rain? You like her?” He spoke, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Tyler was your best friend. Knew you better than anyone. What he didn’t know was that you liked girls. More specifically his ex.

 Didn’t know. Until now.

You nodded, gaze drifting to your feet, almost shamefully. You knew he would never be mad at you for something like this, but it was still a difficult admission to make.

“Tyler, I’m sorry. I just-” You started, reaching out to place a hand on his arm, trying to ease him. 

“Y/n, It’s… Okay.” He muttered, giving you an unreadable look, his thick eyebrows slightly twitching, unsure. Tyler’s relationship with Rain hadn’t ended well, him still clearly having feelings for her. “At least she could actually like you.” He adds, chuckling dryly. Rain had realized she wasn’t into guys, that being the main reason for their break-up a few months ago. You gave him a reprimanding frown. That wasn’t something he should joke about.

You needed to glance away for a moment to gather your thoughts. You knew him. The way he was acting, he wasn’t telling you everything. Tightening your grip on his arm, you spoke, voice laced with guilt: “It doesn’t seem to be ‘okay’…” 

Tyler, ever the people-pleaser - at least when it came to you - gave you a weak smile. “It’s okay, promise.” He shook your hand off your arm to place his large hand on your shoulder. “Go for it, I say.” He spoke, pausing to swallow thickly. “What Rain and I had - it’s in the past. We don’t have any hard feelings, never had.”

You took a heavy breath, looking up at him. “Still… Would you really be okay with your best friend dating your ex?” You spoke quietly, grateful for the warmth of his hand on your shoulder seeping through your shirt and grounding you to reality. “Would it not hurt you?”

Tyler shrugged. “Nah. Like I said, what’s done is done.” He spoke, reassuringly looking down at you. “And who’s to say you won’t get rejected?” He added with a grin, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“Funny.” You remarked sarcastically. But he was right. Did Rain even like you? It’s not like Jackson’s Star had lots of women (or people in general) she could’ve trusted.

✶

As you walked home through the dingy and filthy streets of the colony, clenching and unclenching your hands beside you, Rain was the only thing in your mind. As usual. Did she like you? Could she ever? Who even was she? Rain Carradine certainly was a woman of many questions. Ones you wished, prayed, you would get the answers to.

The next day, you were making your daily commute to the mines. Only a few more 9-hour shifts and you’d have filled the quota for getting out of here. Of course, nobody ever really got away.

You learned that when you were still young. The memory of seeing your parents so crushed over another increase in their required quota would always stay with you. They had died almost 10 years ago. It seemed that everyone’s parents were slowly dropping dead, being overworked since the age of 16. You were sort of lucky, having lost them before your age even reached double digits. You didn’t remember that much about the time you had with them. 

Your thoughts drifted to Rain again, as you walked through the crowded main street of the colony. You wondered if she ever missed her parents, how well she knew them. She was enigmatic. Every time you thought you were getting to know her, it seemed as if yet another layer of the walls she had built around herself materialized to replace the one you had just broken down. You felt like you didn’t know her at all, despite her having been a part of your group for 3 years at this point. 

You worked through your numbing mining shift, clocking out when it was 3pm. What to do now? It was Friday, so it was typical of your friend group - more like family at this point - to gather up in your favorite bar to get drunk and forget about all your problems. 

You headed home, utterly exhausted. You were glad it was only 3pm. You had time to rest. You took a hot shower, the warm water easing the aching in your body, before taking a short but effective nap. You made yourself some food and cleaned your small flat a bit to distract yourself.

Still, she found her way into every thought in your head. Especially her eyes - God, her eyes. The prettiest color you had ever seen. The first time Tyler brought Rain to meet the group back when they had just gotten together, you were all but enchanted. Her eyes were perfectly shaped, like the almonds your parents used to buy for meals on special occasions. The color reminded you of your favorite flowers - irises. You had only seen photos of them in books, but they were still your favorite. Her eyes sparkled like light-blue sapphires when hit by the artificial lights on the streets. Whenever you two would have a conversation, however short, you would have to force yourself to look somewhere other than her eyes for even a moment. 

Strange. Eye-contact was usually really not your thing.

Neither were blue eyes, really. Before meeting Rain, of course. For example, Tyler’s cousin’s icy blue eyes were kinda creepy. Pretty, yeah. But creepy. Like he could look right into your soul with those things. Full offense. Bjorn was an asshole. Though you had a soft spot for him.

How you wished you would get a closer look at her eyes. Much closer. You had spent more nights fantasizing about her than you would’ve liked to admit. Her mouth on yours, those strong arms wrapped around you, small but deft fingers fucking in and out of you. Fuck. You really have to get it together. 

✶

Time passed when you stayed busy doing menial chores. Soon, it was time to get ready to meet the others. You felt an almost nauseating excitement pool in the pits of your stomach, knowing you would get to see her. The excitement mixed with a debilitating uneasiness, having a hunch that you would make a fool of yourself in front of her, some way or the other. Still, you decided to put on your hottest dress. The short, black one that accentuated all your curves in just the right ways. 

You walked to the bar, luckily only a mile or so away from your apartment. You flashed the bouncer your ID, slowly walking inside. You looked around for the others, spotting Tyler, Bjorn, Navarro and Kay sitting around a table in the corner. You greeted them, settling next to Tyler. It was kind of awkward, since the last conversation you two had had was about your crush on his ex. 

You intently listened to the others talk, expecting Rain and her brother to appear any second, like they always do. Still, an hour passed. Then another. At this point, you were pretty wasted. Your filter tended to disappear when you got alcohol into your system, so you finally built up the courage to ask the others about Rain’s whereabouts. 

“Hey… Where’s Rain..?” You spoke, voice slurring slightly as you held a half-empty beer can in your hand.

“She should already be here...” Kay said, furrowing her brows and looking at the others, in case they knew. 

When no one had an answer, you started to feel the worry in your stomach build, making your stomach churn. It sobered you up. Rain was never late. You had learned that in your many months of observing her.

“Should we go check on her?” Tyler asked, the unease evident in his voice as well.

“I’ll go.” You slid out of your seat, not leaving any room for arguments. It was strange enough that she was late. Even stranger that Andy hadn’t shown up to tell you guys about it.

You ditched the group despite their protests about going outside, drunk and alone, dressed in that tiny dress. You knew where Rain lived. She had gotten her own apartment near the others’ trailer after her and Tyler broke up - she didn’t want to be around him much. Things got back to normal, but she decided to keep living there with Andy. Said it suited her more.

You slightly stumbled while walking up the stairs, past the other apartments. It was honestly a miracle that you managed to find the right door in such a state of panic and intoxication. You knocked on the door frantically. “Rain! Andy!” You yelled, pressing your ear against the door to listen for any movements.

Sure enough, you heard shuffling from behind the door. You leaned back just before the door swung open, revealing a tired-looking Rain.

“Hey.” She spoke quietly, her eyes taking in your disheveled appearance. “You been through a hurricane?”

You let out an audible sigh of relief.

“You didn’t come. T-to the bar, I mean.” You explained, breathless. God. You had never been so glad to see her.

 Even now, you couldn’t help your eyes trailing from her eyes to the clothes she was wearing. Or the lack of them. Rain was clad in only short shorts and a tank top. Your breath hitched in your throat as you took in the sight.

“Didn’t feel like it.” She spoke nonchalantly and shrugged. She gave you a look. Must’ve noticed you ogling at her. Shit.

“Come in. You look like hell.” She said, voice warming up a bit.

You felt your stomach flutter with the force of at least a thousand butterflies. Still, you complied - of course you did.

You shook your shoes off, following her into her small flat. She sat down on the couch, looking up at you with an unreadable expression. You swallowed, following her and gingerly sitting down next to her. 

A tense silence fell between the two of you. You two rarely hung out alone.

“So… Any reason you wanted me here?” You spoke carefully, trying your best to pronounce your words clearly despite being drunk and still reeling from the panic you were feeling the whole way there. 

Sitting there, just you and her, made your insides twist in nervousness. You studied her profile, her beautifully sloped nose, the way her brown hair was messily tied up, but still somehow managed to look put together.

After a moment, Rain responded.

“Not really. Jus’ felt lonely. Andy’s been installing some kinda software update for an hour now.” She spoke, taking a sip off the almost full aspen beer bottle on the coffee table.

“So you’re drinking alone ‘cause you feel lonely? Even though you could’ve come to the bar with us?” You felt the earlier panic and worry subside now that you had found her, giving way to your usual drunken demeanor.

She gave you a small chuckle. Her smile was so pretty. Pure.

“Guess so.” She muttered, taking a larger swig, finishing the bottle in one go.

Fuck, that was hot. You couldn’t take your eyes off the way she let her head fall back, how her throat moved when she swallowed. You felt a warm thrum low in your stomach, instinctively bringing your thighs closer together when you felt your core ache for her, getting wetter by the second. Why did beer always have to make you so damn horny? You cleared your throat nervously, trying not to stare at her too hard.

“Got any more beer for me? Since you’re evidently not letting me back to the bar.” You tried sounding casual, shifting to a bit more comfortable position on the couch.

She scoffed, but got up and walked to the fridge. “If you want to leave, I can’t stop you.” She spoke, walking back to the couch with a couple of bottles for the both of you. She sat down and passed you a bottle. “I just… Hope you don’t.” She added more quietly.

Her words made your heart skip a beat, and you tried your best to hide any signs of the turbulence happening through your entire body.

“I… I won’t leave.” You choked out, gripping the beer bottle tighter as your gaze involuntarily wandered to her almost bare legs. The legs you had often pictured on your shoulders, your face buried in her pussy. Fuck…

“You okay?” She shifted closer, leaning closer to your face. “You look a bit flushed…”

Oh fuck she’s right there. You gave her a smile that was a bit too wide, nodding. “Oh, i-it’s probably just… Just the alcohol.” You stammered, your grip on the beer bottle tightening.

“If you say so…” She muttered. You almost exhaled in relief, but she didn’t move away completely, just leaning back slightly. She stayed there, close, looking at you intently. You tore your gaze away from hers to take a sip of the crappy beer you all had gotten used to drinking.

“Are you and Tyler together?” You suddenly heard Rain nonchalantly speak from beside you, making you almost spit out your drink. 

“Oh- fuck no.” You chuckled dryly. “Just friends. He’s more like a brother to me than anything.” You add, wanting to make your relationship with him abundantly clear.

She hummed thoughtfully at that, taking a small sip of beer, before meeting your gaze again.

“Have you ever been together with anyone?” She questioned, slightly tilting her head to the side. God, how was she always so calm? You felt like you were about to combust.

“No… Just some random hookups in bars.” You mused, absentmindedly rotating the beer bottle in your hand. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering…” She drawled, giving you a strange look. She was smirking at you, her expression almost smug. 

You finished your beer bottle, setting it onto the wooden coffee table with a clink. As you settled back onto the couch, you noticed the way she was slightly leaning towards you while facing forward, nearly laying her head on your shoulder. You felt the butterflies make their return, the almost nauseating flutter making you swallow and slightly tense up.

“You sure you’re okay..?” She spoke quietly and turned to face you, placing a hand on your thigh like it was nothing. You immediately looked at her hand, eyes widening. You forced yourself to meet her gaze, opening your mouth to speak. But no words came out.

“What’s the matter, y/n?” She rolled her tongue across her lower lip, making direct eye contact with you. Your breath hitched as you saw her gaze flicker down to your lips for a fraction of a moment, before returning to your panicked eyes.

Her eyes were dark. The pretty blue irises were almost completely eclipsed by her pupils. Had she done drugs? You cluelessly thought to yourself, so oblivious to what Rain was thinking about. Her hand tightened on your thigh, and she leaned closer and closer, until you could see every little pore on her skin, even in the dim light. Is she oka-

And then, her lips were on yours.

It took a moment for you to register what was happening, only coming back to reality once you felt her small hand on your almost hot cheek, the other still on your thigh.

You immediately felt all reason fly out the window, your hand snaking up her back to her neck to grab onto something - anything. All you could think about was how much you needed to touch her. 

You tilted your head to deepen the kiss, your grip on her neck slightly tightening as you felt her tongue enter your mouth. She was really good at this, her tongue swirling around yours, tasting you. She took her hand off your cheek, placing it on your waist, her other hand running up your thigh to your hip. Without breaking the kiss, she pulled you to her lap, making you straddle her.

One of her hands inched onto your back, her fingers teasingly running over the zipper of your dress. She pulled away, looking up at you with an intensity you had never seen on her face. She looked otherworldly, her eyes half-lidded with arousal, lips glistening with saliva.

“You have no idea how much I want you.” She whispered breathlessly. “You knew exactly what you were doing,” She paused to nip at your neck, eliciting a sharp gasp from you. “Coming to my place in that dress.” She continues placing wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, slowly opening the zipper on your back.

You damn near moaned at just her words, her every touch making your blood run hotter and hotter. She lazily rolled the short hem of your dress above your ass, pulling the item over your head. She let it fall to the floor, taking in the sight in front of her. She looked up at you with a cocky smirk. “You’re not even wearing a bra…” She drawled, sounding almost condescending.

You didn’t have much time to dwell on her tone of voice, her hands moving to palm at your tits greedily. “So perfect…” She sighed shakily, leaning down slightly in order to give your nipple a tentative lick. You whined at the sensation, hearing her chuckle against your skin. 

Rain started licking, sucking, and nibbling at your breast while her other hand pinched and flicked at the other, making your head fall back. You shivered and gasped at the sensations she was making you feel, certainly far better at this than the random drunk girls you had hooked up with before.

Still, it wasn’t enough. The shivers of pleasure coursed straight to your aching core, your panties already soaked, uncomfortably so. Your hands grasped at her muscular arms desperately as you looked down at her. “Please, Rain… More.” You breathed, voice trembling with arousal. 

“Fine, fine…” She shook her head in resignation. “Lie down for me.” She purred, letting you get off her lap and lie on the surprisingly comfortable couch. She was on you instantly, forearms planted on either side of your head as her lips crashed onto yours. Her knee nestled between your legs, grinding against your arousal. You moaned into her mouth, the slight relief making you rub against her leg desperately.

“You’re so needy…” She muttered, looking at you underneath her. Her face was flushed, and eyes practically glazed over with lust. “Need’a taste you.” She whispered huskily, even just her voice making you gush. “Please…” You whined as she planted kisses down your neck, nibbling at your collarbone, definitely leaving a mark. She slowly moved down your body, showering it with little bites and kisses, before reaching the waistband of your panties.

“Fuck, you’re wet.” She mused under her breath, placing her hands onto your inner thighs, pushing them apart and pressing a finger against your damp panties. You inhaled sharply, quietly whining as she began to lightly circle your clit. “So pretty…” She murmured, increasing the pressure. You instinctively snapped your hips towards her, needing more. She let out a low chuckle, enjoying the reactions she was able to draw out of you. “Want me to take these off?”

You nodded frantically, lifting your hips slightly to allow her to carefully slide the last article of clothing off you. She lowered herself down to her stomach, inhaling the scent of your arousal. 

“Please, Rain-” You whined, hands clenching around the couch’s soft cushion.

“Please what?” She grinned up at you, tilting her head slightly. “Use your words, sweetie.”

“Please, eat me out!” You whimpered, your hand subconsciously moving to grab the hair on the back of her head.

“‘Atta girl.” She purred, plunging her face into your dripping pussy. She licked a stripe across the length of your core, tasting you. You let out a soft moan, trying to keep your body as still as possible. Her hands grabbed at your thighs, keeping the spread apart with ease as she worked, lapping up your juices, using the tip of her tongue precisely, making your legs shake. She dipped her tongue inside you, essentially fucking you with it. God, no one had ever eaten you out this well. You let out needy whines and moans, probably a bit too loud for Rain’s neighbors. But neither of you cared, so lost in the moment.

Your head fell back as Rain slid two fingers inside you, pumping them in and out in tandem with her mouth’s movements. Her fingers curled up, just enough to hit that spot that makes you lose it. You were so close. “Rai-in..!” You whined, tightening your grip in her hair. “...’M so- close!” Your words were pathetically desperate and slurred, the movements of her fingers and mouth making the pleasure coil in your stomach.

Then, she pulled away. You whined at the loss, looking down at her with a downright devastated expression. “Not yet.” She tutted, making eye contact with you as she licked her fingers clean. “Wanna enjoy this…” 

After a moment of kissing and sucking at the soft flesh of your inner thighs, she leaned back down again, her breath hitting your oversensitive core. You groaned, your hand in her hair tightening but not pushing her down. “Now, what do we say, sweetie?” She spoke, rubbing up and down your thigh.

“Please.” You choked out, earning a smirk from her.

“Good girl.” She continued what she was doing earlier, her tongue drawing shapes and letters onto your folds and clit. Her fingers returned to your entrance, teasing it a bit before slipping inside again. It didn’t take long for her to have you a moaning, panting mess again. You started to feel the tension in your stomach build, until you were teetering right on the edge.

“Come on my face, baby.” Rain chuckled against you, giving you one last languid lick and sending you right over the edge. Your walls clenched around her fingers as you did exactly what she told you to. Your head fell back with a loud moan of her name, your whole body tensing momentarily as all you saw were stars. She coaxed you through your orgasm, slowly moving her tongue against you. She got up from her position between your legs, hovering over you with a smirk on her face.

Your eyes fluttered open to see her on top of your breathless body. She looked ethereal. Her hair was ruffled, cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, lips and chin glistening with saliva and your juices. Jesus Christ…

“You’re so beautiful…” You muttered, running your thumb over her lower lip and bringing it to your own lips to taste yourself, keeping eye contact. You noticed how she slightly twitched at the sight, clearly struggling with her own neediness.

“I wanna make you feel good, too…” You looked up at her almost pleadingly, meeting her large, oh so pretty eyes.

Rain grinned. “How could I say no to that?”

She pulled you on top of her, her hands on your waist. Panting, lips slightly parted, you looked at her splayed out underneath you.

You leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss trailing your hand lower down her body, playing with the hem of her shirt. One of her hands tangled in your hair while the other stayed on your waist.

You broke the kiss for a moment, pulling her tank top over her head. Seeing her bare chest and stomach made your stomach do a flip. “You’re so… so hot.” You muttered in awe, hands lightly running down her sides. She gave you a coy smile in response.

You began trailing kisses down her neck, making her gasp and shiver underneath you. Slowly your hands made their way to her shorts, and you hooked your thumbs under the waistband, tugging them off almost frantically.

You pressed your fingers against her damp panties, applying just enough pressure to make her desperate for more. It took all you had not to tear her panties off and eat her out until she came on your face. You needed to be patient. The sounds of Rain’s soft whines, the ruffling of fabric, and your heavy breathing filled the air of the otherwise quiet apartment.

“Take them off already…” She frustratedly huffed, which you chuckled at, complying. You carefully pulled her panties off her legs, discarding them to the floor next to you. 

Seeing Rain completely bare in front of you almost made you come again. You had been waiting for this moment for months. You took a shaky breath, leaning in to place a surprisingly soft kiss onto her lips, palming at her breasts. They felt just right, the warm and soft flesh fitting perfectly into your slightly cupped hands. She moaned into your mouth, making you shiver with anticipation.

You trailed your hands lower, one settling on her hip bone, the other running between her slick folds, eliciting a sharp inhale from her. Your index and middle fingers lightly circled her clit, making her whine louder, arching her back and squirming. You pulled away from the kiss for a moment to look at her reactions, the way her brows knitted together, how her eyes fluttered shut when applying pressure to just the right spots. 

You teased her entrance with your fingers, slowly inserting one, then two fingers. It took a few tentative pumps to find the right angle to curl your fingers at. Her head fell back with a high-pitched cry, a sound you thought you would never hear her utter. You smirked at her reaction, picking up the pace, grinding your palm onto her clit as obscene squelching sounds resonated from your fingers moving inside her.

“Please… Your mouth..!” Rain mewled, sending a jolt of excitement coursing through your entire body. “Of course.” You murmured, settling yourself between her legs. You inhaled her intoxicating scent, making your head spin more than any beer you had drunk.

You dove into her folds fearlessly, your other hand gripping her thigh while the other kept moving inside her. You gave her core an earnest lick across the whole length like she had done to you, feeling her hand fly to your hair and grab onto it desperately.

“F-fuck...” She groaned as you began to lap at her, tasting every spot your tongue could reach, flicking and running across all the places that made her moan. Your fingers worked steadily as your tongue flickered over her clit, using your flat tongue to make her whole body arch against you. As you edged her closer and closer to release, her hand tightened in your hair, the slight pain turning to pleasure - it was Rain doing this to you after all.

“Y/n– I’m close.” She gasped, her legs trembling slightly. You hummed against her, ever so slightly increasing the fervor of your movements. After a beat, her hand clenched around your hair, the other grasping at the edge of the couch. “Ah- y/n!” She cried out, her walls fluttering around your fingers as the waves of pleasure crashed over her. You did what she had done to you, lightly licking at her as she came down from her high.

You timidly get up from between her legs, returning to hover on top of her. You reach out to caress her cheek, affectionately rubbing circles on her skin with your thumb.

“You did so good.” She praised, voice husky from the exertion. You smiled wide. Looking at her, flushed and breathing heavily, you felt your heart swell, knowing you were the one who made her feel like this, made her feel good. 

You carefully lowered yourself into a lying position on top of her, utterly exhausted. A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as your breathing evened out.

“Will you stay the night?” She quietly, almost shyly, spoke, playing with your hair.

You nodded. “Of course.”

For a moment, you wondered if the others would worry about the two of you disappearing. But it didn’t really matter to either of you at that moment. 

✶

Thanks for reading!! Feedback is appreciated <3

[moonrisecoeur]

okay but like imagine a bully leon that's actually so subby when things get real…. like idk what it is but there's really something about guys that look kinda dom on the outside actually being really submissive on the inside… Imagine some kind of high school or even better, college AU where Leon's kind of an asshole to you first semester, and then you scheme with your friends to get revenge … just not the way he expected or smth, maybe at some cliche party you end up one on one with him and after some kind of heated confrontation you make your move, and even though his bully side tries to resist, his subby side pops out and he eventually gets reduced to a begging, sobbing mess. And you just mistreat him so well, he gets all clingy and pathetic by the end of it, all whiny, and you're almost rough with him, getting him so needy and then forcing him to apologize so much and beg, and acknowledge idk something like he was wrong, you're the best, etc, he needs you

I think this would work maybe with RE2 Leon the best, but RE4 leon possibly? There's really just something about RE2 leon being subby and RE2 leon being a really bratty bully type But yeah smth like brat taming with leon or something!! Maybe even spanking if he was that much of an asshole lmaoooo

(sorry if this sent twice i was having issues with tumblr)

this is a wonderful concept and all but be so for real my guy leon could not be a bully. especially re2 and re4. he’s too sweet and gentle to ada in re2 and ashley in re4 to ever truly bully someone.

buuuuuuuuut since u already got this idea so flushed out i might as well add to it!! sorry this isn’t as long as i’d like to to be i couldn’t really think of anything else to add!!

sub!bully!leon x slight mean dom!reader, no pronouns used, afab body parts mentioned.

leon likes your attention and feels like the only way he can get it is to be mean. the first time you both met, you didn’t realize he was trying to talk to you and just walked past him (with like earbuds in and stuff) and he was so heartbroken.

so every time he sees you in class he’ll be rude and abrasive, calling you insulting nicknames and stuff. he kinda likes the face you make when you get mad, the way your eyebrows furrow and your eyes stare sharply at him.

he’s also kinda mean to your friends because to him they’re an extension of you.

at this party, he’s been drinking, not too much because he’s cautious but enough to where he’s not completely sober. you as well.

you both start arguing when he bumps into you and knocks your drink out of your hand. he says a lot of cruel things that make your heart ache slightly. he’s so needlessly mean that you’re getting fed up with taking his shit.

you take a step closer to him, finally willing to do more than stand your ground, but actually fight back, “do you just want me to hate you that damn bad, leon? because you really seem to enjoy pissing me off.”

his body feels weak at your cold tone of voice. he’s suddenly not the evil, monstrous man that made fun of you, embarrassed you, called you names, talked down to you. he tries to keep up his front, but you see it cracking.

“i know you like it,” he says, “like it when i’m mean to you, don’t you? you want me to call you names and make fun of you, kinky bitch.”

you scoff, looking away from him. he couldn’t be more wrong.

“what? you think i’m wrong? prove it to me, prove that you don’t like me like this. show me that you’re worth anything more than being the dirt beneath my—”

“shut the fuck up, leon,” you groan as you come closer to him. it’s what he was afraid of, and god you’re so close to him… he’s worried he might explode from nerves. your hand presses against his chest as you push him away, and then suddenly, you’re up against him, he’s pressed against the wall, and your hand is back on his chest.

“uh, i.. i—” he says.

“what’s wrong? lost the ability to speak?” you ask him rhetorically, smirking, “you did get something right, i am a kinky bitch. just the wrong kind.”

“what?” he asks breathlessly. he looks like he’s about to pass out, face red, hands shaking. you would want to soothe him if he wasn’t such an asshole, “wrong kind?”

your hand on his chest drops to his crotch, groping him over his jeans, and he fucking whimpers. already. you come to the realization that leon kennedy, the bastard who’s been torturing you for months on end, is a fucking sub. good god.

“wait wait wait… hold on… i- what are you doing?”

your smirk grows, your breaths and sighs are satisfied, contented with holding him here, watching him stutter and whimper, “awh, i will admit. you’re much cuter when you’re not using that mouth to be rude. much, much prettier…”

his face is already red, his ears too. he looks messy, fragile, adorable.

“p-please,” his voice breaks, and you know you’ve won.

—

“stupid, stupid boy, thinks he can be mean to me? messed with the wrong girl,” you say, patronizingly soothing as you run your fingers through his hair, his cock buried inside of you as he hides his face in the crook of your neck and shoulder, “you should say sorry, baby, for what you did to me.”

“fuck, i- i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry about what i said to you a- and your friends! i’m sorry!”

you scoff, “no, you know that’s not good enough, try harder. tell me how pathetic and dumb you are.”

he whines, his lips pressing against your neck sweetly as an apology, and as a way out of giving you a real one. he grasps onto your body like you’re his only anchor to stability and sanity.

you try to coax him out of his shyness and get him to tell you all the things you want him to say, “c’mon sweetheart, you gotta tell me. tell me how mean and degrading and cruel you were to me, just to be my stupid, obedient boy after i flipped it on you. the second i was a little mean to you, you completely gave in to me, didn’t you?”

“y-yeah, i… i’m sorry, i know i haven’t been- ah, good for you, but please let me be. give me a chance to be good, please. i can be good.”

you just laugh, clearly annoyed with him, “stupid fucking thing, thinks he can make me forgive him by begging to give him the grace he never gave me. you will have to earn your forgiveness, baby.”

he whines, “can i please fuck you? please? i’ll show you how good i can be, how good i can make you feel, i’ll so whatever you say i promise!!!”

“no, sweetheart, you’re going to sit still. you’re going to cry and weep and sob about how sorry you are, about how much better i am than you, how you don’t deserve me or my pussy, and how badly you need me to treat you like you’re nothing.”

[smileysuh]

seeing double - TEASER

🌙staring. Johnny & John x afab!Reader 

🔮 preview. “As much as I’d love to fuck two of you, I know you’ve always been interested in a threesome with two guys, and we both know I’m too protective to let anyone else touch you. I found this cloning spell and I figured, if there’s one man I can share you with, it’s myself.” 

tw/cw. Threesome, unprotected sex, oral, blow jobs, pussy eating, praise, dirty talk, degradation, y/n calls Johnny daddy twice, John calls y/n whore/slut/bitch once each cuz he's an ass, demonic double John is a bit of a dick, anal fingering, deep throating, spit-roasting/Eiffel tower, double penetration (pussy/mouth), triple penetration (pussy/mouth/finger in ass), spanking, choking, biting, punishment, blindfold/sensory deprivation, big dick Johnny, pussy stretching, John cums on her face, etc… I pet names: (hers) baby.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.9k

🍭 aus. Warlock Johnny, established relationship, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. ya'll thought one Johnny was enough for us, but I give you double John- threesome of the year

The lights flicker out, the room going dark aside from the one black candle burning on the altar.

Then, just as suddenly, the lights turn back on, and your gaze shifts to the switch by the door. Your breath catches as you take in the man standing there, one hand lazily touching the switch. Johnny’s double has appeared, and he’s the one who just turned the lights back on.

“Hi, losers.”

While the new Johnny clone is wearing the same white shirt and black jeans combo your boyfriend has on, this Johnny has dark hair. You’ve always loved your boyfriend’s coloured strands, but there’s something so regal about the dark brown- it sets off the sharp angles of his face, and leaves you breathless.

“Who are you calling losers?” Johnny retorts, closing the Grimiore and turning to face the double at the door.

“I’m calling you two losers,” the clone grins. “You’re a loser for wanting a threesome with yourself, and she’s a loser for agreeing to it.”

“You’re a bit of a dick, aren’t you?” your boyfriend laughs.

“Not any more than you. I’m your double, anything I say or do is something you would say or do, well, it would be if you let your demonic side out more often. You’re so good at keeping that part of you under lock and key, but not tonight. Here I am.” The double pushes off from the wall, approaching your boyfriend. “Don’t be mad if you don’t like what you see.” 

“I’m not mad about what I see,” Johnny says thoughtfully, “I’m just wondering why your hair is so dark. Thought you were supposed to be a clone.”

“My hair is like your demon side, you can try to cover it up, make it lighter, but this spell always knows your true self. Besides, baby thinks I look good with this hair colour,” the clone’s gaze shifts to you, and he flashes you that classic Johnny grin, “isn’t that right, baby?”

“I-” your words get choked in your throat, and you swallow thickly, looking between your boyfriend and his darker double. “Johnny-”

“Another charade to appear nicer,” the clone clicks his tongue. “Your blonde, soft looking boyfriend might go by the name Johnny. But tonight, you’ll call me John.”

☀️ to read the full fic AND 3.7k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here

👹 or wait till the fic is posted on tumblr November 17th, 2023

🔮 see what’s already available to read on my m.list

there's a limit to the number of people I can tag, respond/reblog to ensure a tag please :)

[wowevenmoreloveonearth]

You know what? I have become a gaylor sympathiser

This is going to be a long post, sorry! Please read the full post before even thinking about commenting.

Over the past few days I’ve seen a few posts on my dash about taylor swift and her fans that have left a bad taste in my mouth.

I know that a lot of people think that some fans of her are “trying to make her gay” and I just wanted to put the record straight and defend some people after actually looking at what’s going on. And I know I’m probably opening myself up for tumblr’s poor reading comprehension but before I start I’m going to say this:

I do not think taylor swift is a lesbian

Ok? Now let’s have a conversation.

First of all from what I’ve seen most of the fans who talk about Taylor swift and queerness do it from a point of literary analysis and learning queer history. This is a huge part of the community and lots of people have said that they never would have learnt so much about queer history without reading taylor swift’s works through a queer lens.

Adding on to that point, it seems a little hypocritical for the gay site which loves queer readings of books, tv shows, songs, musicals, films etc to be bullying a pretty small group of people who are mainly doing queer readings of lyrics. Especially when those people get near constant death threats. Instead of bullying these people (who don’t think or do what you think they think and do) why don’t you go outside and think “does this affect me? No. Do I agree with them? No. Am I going to cyber bully them because of this? No.”

Secondly, for the people who believe that any speculation on a real persons sexuality is 100% wrong. I used to think this too but I have changed my mind a bit about this recently after stopping and thinking about it properly. I’m not trying to change your mind at all I just want you to stop and think for a minute.

If you only get mad when speculation is queer in nature, then maybe think about that for a minute. Why is it totally wrong to think a person might be queer. We probably do it in our daily lives with people we know and they likely do it with us, back in the day that’s how queer people found each other-by speculating on sexuality. Would you be upset if you found out someone that you know thought you might be queer? I wouldn’t, maybe you would but if you would, why? Why is it terrible to think someone might be queer (this is NOT about hounding a person to admit to being queer like shawn mendes, this is just thinking in your head and on your small blog that the person will likely never see). Also this is literally the website where we talk about historical (real people) being gay even when they would have never said something to the equivalent.

An addition to this point before people start saying in the comments is that this is NOT the same situation as with kit connor. The issue there was people assuming that he was straight and taking that role away from a queer person. Speculating that he was queer was the opposite of what happened in that situation. So this is not an example of what happens when you speculate queerness.

Final things to say:

1) don’t believe every post you see with someone looking insane about taylor swift being gay, a lot of them are fake.

2) before anyone says “they should listen to real queer artists instead” most of them very much do. There’s a lot of fans of Hayley kiyoko, girl in red, Janelle monae, tegan and sara, zolita, kehlani etc.

3) there are some queer flags that are there. Sorry but there are. Hairpin drops, lavender, the ladder, flag colours, songs about women, friend of dorothy reference. Whether they are intentional is a different matter.

4) shipping real people is not what is happening for the majority of the people in the community. Also this comes back to queer vs straight again. Plenty of swifties ship taylor with men she’s been seen with and no one goes into their inboxes and sends death threats even when they are the ones making taylor swift all about the men she may or may not have dated.

5) taylor swift has never stated her sexuality. I know this may be hard to belive based off of how some people act, but it’s true. She has made vague statements which could have many meanings but she has never clearly stated anything. When gaylors get upset with taylor it is not because she said she is straight, it’s because they are getting death threats and doxxed and she seems to either be unaware of it (which is unlikely given how she seems to be a little terminally online) or she doesn’t care enough to tell her fans to stop.

6) if she does explicitly say she’s straight then there will probably be disappointment in her use of queer history and flags and her potential queer erasure (as we saw with lavender haze, with straight women describing their relationships as lavender) and centring herself in queer spaces (like the you need to calm down music video) but no one will be angry that she’s not gay. And a lot will probably be grateful that she actually explicitly stated for the record to absolve any confusion. The main issue would likely be other fans ramping up the death threats and bullying.

In conclusion: these people who do queer analysis of Taylor’s work are not trying to out her or make her gay etc. if you don’t understand it that’s fine it’s clearly not for you and you can go quite easily without seeing any of it. It’s not illegal to read works through a queer lens and if it means more people know about queer history then I think that’s a very good thing.

I changed my mind after looking at what a lot of people are actually saying rather than what people perceive them to be saying and maybe you will too?

Just be kinder to people online please and if you don’t like what people are saying block them and do not engage!

[purrplegyuu]

HI EVERYONE! I just wanted to discuss something. I started writting smut (in Spanish) when I was 12/13 years old, which had never been a big deal. People knew my age, and read my works still because they didn’t care. All I learned at that age was very basic, you know, the type of things you learn at school, the things your friends say, the things you see on movies. And I kept on getting knowledge as i was growing up. But once i started reading in tumblr, i saw people being mad at minors (around 16/17 year olds) for writing? Even HARASSING them, and sending people to report them (without a valid excuse, which is a fraudulent report) just because of their age. Which makes absolutely no sense because they’re not hurting anyone. I absolutely get it when writers block miniors because we’re all free to choose who we want to read us, and also get when people get mad at writers writing for minors, but why would we hate on minors doing just what they want?

I don’t really know if I’m actually open minded or just too chill, but I dont really care if there are minors on my blog. Sexuality is part of everyones life, minors also have sex, and trying to cover up this reality makes no sense. I do think they should be mature enough to understand that none of those works are real, they are pure fiction and it’s almost impossible to have sex the way it’s shown, but that’s something not only minors need to understand, but also EVERYONE else.

Let me know guys what do you think about this, I like arguing a little, but I would LOVE to see more people who think like me. (If you’re scared you might get cancelled, you can tell me everything through my dms or my requests, anonymously).

Anyways, loveee, byeee🫶🫶🫶😘😘😘

[marauders-brain-rot]

An excerpt from the fic I’m writing on ao3, this part has been posted but I thought the tumblr fandom might appreciate it. This is from Christmas 1975:

It was nearing midnight and James was debating how far he would get if he attempted to break into Grimmauld when suddenly the floo roared to life. James leapt to his feet instantly, not many people would come through the floo this late without sending word first and the green flames sent his heart to his stomach. Before he had a chance to do more than grab his wand, two figures came tumbling onto the stone floor.

“It’s okay now, we’re here, we’re here,” the boy on top was sobbing over the other one as he ran his hands worriedly over him, it wasn’t until he lifted his face and turned towards James that he saw who it was.

“Regulus?” He looked from one boy’s face to the other and fell to his knees. “What happened to him?”

“It’s the cruciatus, they wanted him to take the mark and he refused. Your mum, she’s a healer right? She can help him, can’t she?” Regulus had tears streaming down his face and his eyes were the deepest, blue-grey he had ever seen; he'd never seen someone look so broken.

“Yeah, she can help him. Are you okay?” James’s eyes ran over the younger boy and breathed a small sigh of relief that there weren’t any obvious tremors.

“I’m fine, but if I don’t get back soon I won’t be. Promise me she can help him?” Regulus reached out and desperately clung to James’s hand.

“Get back? What do you mean get back? How can you go back there after this?” James looked from Regulus to Sirius and back again as if to say that his point needed no explanation and Regulus was in fact the mad one.

“Someone has to play the part,” Regulus gave a small, almost bitter smile before blinking and wiping all emotion from his face, his eyes shifting to an empty grey. “Take care of him Potter, he deserves at least one brother that’s worth something. I’ll send Kreacher with his things as soon as I can.”

“Reg wait-” James was going to try and talk some sense into him but he didn’t get the chance before Regulus jumped up and threw himself back into the floo, calling out for Grimmauld and disappearing in a swirl of green flames.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Hiiiii, re ur post abt goals and the whole being more active in the community thing -- I'll try to remember to interact with u more than just liking/reblogging things! I've been super quiet on my own blog since I had burnout two years ago but I'm trying to get back into doing more than just occasionally posting fic, and honestly I love a lot of ur head canon posts and metas etc. I probably won't read any of ur fic because I'm a Bit Weird in that for some reason I hate reading fic in the fandoms I write for (but still love metas and headcanons? Brains sure are weird) but everything else I'll try to actually Write Words instead of letting my thoughts stay in my head!

This is such a sweet message! <3333333

I would totally welcome conversation, and it’s great to know that you are open to it, too. Because I feel like Tumblr as a platform runs on a parallel play model on purpose, and most people probably just want to do that, and my hesitation in going full throttle about using Tumblr the way I would want is my fear that it is going to be obnoxious/overbearing/overwhelming (e.g. driving people to madness via “Why is this person talking to me… I didn’t want to talk to them...”).

It’s so funny you should say that, re: enjoying hcs/meta but not fanfic in your writing fandoms, because I think about that divide a lot! Half the time I spend writing most* headcanon posts is actually time spent workshopping “sooooo…. how do I say this without saying ‘well, in my fanfic…’” because it’s probably something I already wrote in fanfic or notes for fanfic, but 1) I want to talk to people about it, and the chances that I will get to if it’s written in a fanfic are fairly slim, and 2) I want to hear other people’s versions of it, too. In their fanfic, if they write fanfic, but also their posts or tags!

But that can be complicated because in my mind, [insert headcanon post topic] tends to be fairly situated in context—the context of fic things having happened, or things that are going to happen, or thematic undercurrents/relationships—so it becomes a project in trying to make the proposition NOT sound completely bananas without that context/something being written in a particular way. Which can sometimes be its own kind of fun and is sometimes like “good grief, I could have simply been writing more fanfic!” (I feel like I should emphasize here that no one should feel obligated to read my fanfic. I mean, I want people to want to read it! But I very much do not want anyone to feel like they Have To or like they need to explain why they’re not!)

Our approaches are opposite, in that my brain is fanfic forward, both for myself and for others’ fanfic. But I do feel like a lot of RP blogs share your orientation re: not wanting to read other versions of the character they write for! I don’t know if this is where you, specifically, are coming from, but I’ve read on some of the RP blogs that it has a lot to do with having a strong investment in their own particular color on things, and wanting that centered and front of mind. (Which isn’t to say that sentiment isn’t true of most people, I think, because otherwise they wouldn’t write them that way—it’s true of me—but ymmv on how much someone wants to see the other iterations.)

For me, I know that I’m a lot less adventurous about Interpretations That Excite Me for my blorbos than other characters I might read for. Like, to use a silly example, in my mind Soi Fon is 100% Lesbian (which stands out in my headcanon space because I generally assume most everyone in Bleach would be on some level willing to get down with most anyone else), but did I click on Soi Fon/Vegeta when I came across it anyway? Absolutely I did. I barely know who Vegeta is. But my down-to-clown boundaries with Soi Fon are very low, nearly tabula rasa, so go get Vegeta, girl!!!! Whereas for like, Hitsugaya, I’m probably not going to read Hitsugaya/Vegeta because I am not actually a crossover person, my knowledge of DBZ is limited to The Osmotic Experience of Having Grown Up in the 90s, and my favorite version of Hitsugaya’s sex life is the absence of one.

*Of course, there are other headcanons posts in the omake/filler vein that are simply too dumb (affectionate) for me to want to write full fanfic of, like the Gotei regatta or the Gotei bowling league, or that “I think the average shikai user would probably be pretty good at driving a car but they would NOT be considerate or lawful users of said car” post.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Sending this because I think Tumblr might’ve eaten it, but did you ever receive a request for the TADC crew with a small, but EXTREMELY feisty S/O? Tumblr has a bad habit of eating my asks when I’m on anon I’ve found. 😭

TADC crew w/ a short and feisty reader!

hello hello anon! im so so so sorry for not seeing this sooner :( i truly did not mean to take so long to answer this! rechecking through my inbox, i dont see the original request :( but ill be answering it here so not to worry! getting silly by hopping onto my laptop/computer since its in the dining room rn and this way i can keep an eye on my macarons (literally not baking them, drying them out before i do and i wanna make sure no one touches them)

CAINE:

honestly in the most blunt way possible i think he might actually be into it. he always liked him someone who has a little bite in them (and by always he means like, when he first met you because its highly likely youre his first partner)

if you get all riled up trying to defend him he might comically tug on the collar of his shirt, of which steam will stream out of... doesnt have much of a preference for height, but with you being on the shorter side it makes carrying you around a little less awkward!

POMNI:

absolutely taken aback when you just let it rip one day and you go off on someone (most likely jax lets all be real here for a minute), just stands there appalled before you eventually calm yourself down and turn your attention to her

not to yell at her, she hasnt done anything wrong

honestly... nervous anxious ball x angry defender is probably another trope of mine that i think about every so often, but honestly i love it so so much. thats literally just the embodiment of you and pomni's dynamic

not much to say here unfortunately </3 just that you tend to defend her when things get ugly and you dont tend to stop until the issue is resolved

RAGATHA:

honestly maybe im biased for ragatha because ive grown on her since ive opened requests, but i think that she would be the queen of getting you to chill out when something has you all riled up! is so so kind and doesnt make fun of your height, i mean its not like you or anyone can change it. very good at not making you feel less than for being shorter than nearly everyone else

holds

if you get angry on her behalf and attempt to defend her she would be so so touched, but really most things probably roll right off her back, so she just takes you and walks you away from the scene

JAX:

honestly he thinks its a little funny that you get so worked up over things! probably calls you an ankle biter as a joke, which might make you a little mad. definitely picks you up by the scruff or the back of your shirt or whatever! really any equivalent of that works! jax has an entire arsenal of nicknames for you, all based on your height and energy. he loves seeing the way your face scrunches up a little in disdain when he calls you one of those names. all in good fun, for the most part, but he might let up if its something that makes you genuinely upset...

KINGER:

okokokokok so we dont know anything about queenie (i think, i must admit i dont keep up with gooseworx at all and am only relying off of the pilot) but i hc her to also be more on the feisty side

is this relevant? really it depends, because i think kinger would be comforted by the familiarity of your attitude, but also this could be a gateway for angst because it makes him think and dwell on the loss of queenie.... up to you!

subconsciously kneels down to your height to talk to you; he doesnt mean to be rude! it just sort of happens! thinks your fierceness is endearing in its own silly way!

ZOOBLE:

probably thinks that you can get a little overwhelming sometimes. i mean yeah sure its nice to have someone in your corner whos ready to help you out but zooble seems to be the type to not seek that help out; and in fact i can easily see them getting annoyed by someone constantly speaking for them. so you guys are going to need to communicate and work on this together lest there be a build of resentment

remember guys resentment is a real thing and it can ruin so much !! communicate!!!

that aside, i dont think they would comment much on your height, they really could not give less of a flying fuck

GANGLE:

torn between having her be intimidated by you or having her also find it endearing (and perhaps even attractive? shy person liking the one who always speaks their mind, you know?) while im not writing these to be explicitly romantic, i dont quite totally comfy with the idea of intimidation in a relationship.. though this can be applied to platonic relationships too... hmm... mayhaps a mix of it all? not quite sure! probably goes to you for tips to be more bold, love the idea of someone teaching gangle to grow a backbone

similar to zooble, no comments on your height!

[sanemistar]

୨୧ page 2 :: rules ୨୧ (will be updated if needed)

⪩⪨﹒ i write for character x reader only (i find it easier to do) most of my works are fem and/or gn readers as i’m most confident writing those (sorry idk how to write male readers)

⪩⪨﹒ i write most genres as long as they’re sfw (fluff, angst, etc)

⪩⪨﹒ i don’t take nsfw requests sorry ! (all nsfw requests will be deleted) however i can take slightly suggestive requests

⪩⪨﹒take note that i absolutely do NOT write for (incest/stepcest, noncon, minor x adult, etc) such requests will be deleted and will get you immediately blocked.

⪩⪨ i rarely write pt.2s unless i say otherwise, so don’t expect those and don’t ask me to.

⪩⪨﹒no spam likes (6+ likes in a row without reblogging) or you’ll get blocked, i don’t want to get shadowbanned by tumblr. if you want to support me, make sure you reblog or comment

⪩⪨﹒i have the right to delete requests i won't be confident writing, so please don't be mad about it

⪩⪨﹒ requests status will always be shown on my pinned post so please check first before requesting ! requests made when i have my requests closed will be deleted

⪩⪨﹒ pls send requests through asks only, requests made through comments will be ignored

⪩⪨﹒pls don't send me too detailed requests, keep them short and simple. too detailed reqs don't give me enough creativity to write, so i'll most likely end up deleting them

⪩⪨﹒if it's not specified in the request, reader will be fem by default but will try not to include pronouns

⪩⪨﹒i mostly keep appearances vague as i want to be as inclusive as possible, so usually i don't mention a specific skin color, hair color, etc in my writing

⪩⪨﹒if your fav character is from the fandoms i write for but isn't listed here you can always send me an ask (something like would u write for (x)?) but note that if i do end up going through with your request, the character might be ooc

──⭒─⭑─⭒────⭒─⭑─⭒──

꣑ৎ fandoms and characters i write for:

ʚ kny (demon slayer) ɞ

— sanemi, tengen, giyuu, obanai, rengoku

kamaboko squad + muichiro (platonic)

ʚ enstars ɞ

— hokuto, chiaki, izumi, rinne, kaoru, keito, subaru, mao, makoto

ʚ honkai star rail ɞ

— dan heng, aventurine, dr ratio, sunday, caelus, gepard, boothill, jing yuan

ʚ jjk (jujutsu kaisen) ɞ

— gojo, geto, choso, nanami

ʚ mha (my hero academia) ɞ

— touya (dabi), shoto, katsuki

back :: intro | next :: m.list | home :: navi.

[simpingforcreamsoda]

I think it would be really funny if everyone who’s made a pseudo intellectual post harassing or justifying hatred of Jocat stubbed their toes all at once. Like seriously it pisses me off so much seeing (hypothetical name definitely in relation to nobody) peewhirlpool on twitter go “um, he’s horny but pretending to be wholesome so people should be MAD AT HIM” like touch grass and grow the hell up. You’re malding because someone drew himself on SFW dates with women from a meme template. Because he made a parody video comedically showing off his fictional crushes. Breaking news fucko, sometimes people are attracted to women. Sometimes, just sometimes, people might want to fuck women. Some people have the desire to have sex with women. It’s so crazy how that works, isn’t it? It’s ok, you can come out of the blanket when it stops being scary! I wouldn’t want some widdle Internet funny man with a cute lil puppydog pfp to learn what a sex drive is! Check your arms for any boo-boos, because I fucking guarantee a song cover of Lizzo’s “Boys” and a panel drawing of two people dancing like in Beauty in the Beast didn’t melt your face off like the nazis in Indiana Jones.

Jumpscare! When I was in elementary school I had a crush on Blaze the Cat! Nah that was tame, wasn’t it? Ok here’s a good one— sometimes I’ll see women in real life and think “wow, she’s super pretty.” Sometimes I’ll even think “Wow, she’s hot.” Lock me in fuckin Alcatraz, pissvortex. Oopsie, said the barely hidden name because like be real who’s reading this besides my mutuals. It turns out when you don’t actually harm or harass people in real life, and respect them as human beings, you’re allowed to have feelings.

Not even sure why I’m so mad about this. Maybe I’m not even mad, maybe I’m just baffled. So many people going after some DND and Final Fantasy YouTuber and not only doxxing him off platforms, but trying to mask it by saying “he gives me the ick! I bet he looks at hentai” (believe it or not, you can look at hentai and it’s not a crime also, but clearly some people aren’t ready for that conversation). It’s not even that you’re making baseless assumptions and forcing what you think is sin on an individual who has not made anything nsfw in these things other than a reference to the couch meme at MOST, those assumptions don’t fucking matter! Like genuinely why do you CARE if Jocat likes women? He ain’t doing shit! You’re pissing yourselves over DRAWINGS! So yeah, washed up tumblr funny guys, and everyone else who participates in this bullshit, honestly just shut your fucking mouth. You jagoff.

Oh and yeah, I know some of you are doing this because Jocat is nonconforming to stereotypical masculinity. Maybe a lot of you. I hope next time you eat a tootsie-pop you cut the roof of your mouth on a crack in its outer layer.

am I missing something? Oh yeah, and then hammers fly everywhere, now it’s a a joke that’ll get me harassed by a site mod.

[xy4n1d3]

hey uhhh, i might say something a little controversial, but i feel this needs to be said, since i’ve been seeing some minors discourse about it on my feed.

18+ and mdni pages should not have to cater to children. they put those warnings and those banners for a reason, simply because they do not want children on their page reading their shit. i’m aware most kids won’t heed those warnings, anyway, but it’s also for the adult’s comfort & safety as well. i don’t know about you, but i’d be pretty uncomfortable knowing a 13-14 year old was reading my fics and they were pure porn / smut. when i was a young teenager ( around that same age ), i didn’t heed those warnings and it only worsened my hypersexuality.

i’m not saying that this is the adult’s fault by any means, because like i said, children should not be going into adult spaces or blogs that request for no minors to be on there. but it’s concerning seeing minors discourse and argue about it on my feed, saying shit like "adults need to tag their fics with mdni, you don't know what 11 year old could go on your blog and read that" newsflash, we shouldn’t be catering to kids we literally don’t fucking know. don’t get mad at an adult for writing sex and then proceeding to yell at said adult writer because they’re not "considering" how a minor could stumble across their page. it’ll happen regardless, sure, but we aren’t babysitters. the most we can do is block minors, and put the warnings. and either way, the argument is weird because why are you trying to defend someone who’s under the age of 13 stumbling onto those things. adult writers on tumblr shouldn’t be babysitting those damn kids, parents should be monitoring what their kids see and don’t see anyway?? 😭

tldr umm don’t villainize adult writers for not wanting kids reading their smut and don’t state that adult writers on tumblr are bad ppl for not watching / monitoring every kid on tumblr to make sure they don’t read their stuff. minors should be respectful of the boundaries these blogs put up. i’m aware minors will always end up reading it regardless, but you shouldn’t be getting mad at the adult for what they’re posting when they gave the proper warnings. they don’t cater to strangers on the internet.

sorry i’m yapping i just thought this argument was a lil strange and its probably controversial idfk

[icameheretoreadstuff]

I can’t be your friend

Pairings: Archie Andrews x reader

Warning: Angst and Fluff

Summary: You have been struggling holding back your feelings for Archie, so your easy answer as to just ignore him. But him being your bestfriend made it alittle impossible. Suddenly at school he grabbed your hand and pulled you into the music room as he asked you “why are you ignoring me?” So, what do you do?

A/N: masterpost & links are pinned on my tumblr.

He stood there just waiting for you to say something “Please tell me” he began as he walked over to you “why are you doing this?” He asked again “I don’t get it, out of the blue you just started to ignore me completely.” He sighed “I’m not mad but I care about you, can’t you just tell me what’s wrong please?” You just stood there frozen, he noticed so he walked over to you to reassure you with hand on your shoulder. You finally woke up from the warm feeling coming from his hand, you whimpered at the first contact.

He looked confused, “please?” He whispered. Before you looked him in the eyes and prepared you mentally before you finally said: “alright, I’ll try telling you”. He half smiled before nodded “ok.” You took a deep breath “but you have to promise me not to freak out or stop being my friend” you said with a shaky voice. He looked at you with a puzzling look before he nodded “sure, of course” he waited for you to start talking.

You thought about how to start telling him about this. Maybe its good to start with the beginning? Or maybe the end? Or maybe just tell him right out what’s been going on? Or maybe you should not tell him and walk out, or just lie to keep the friendship. But you knew that you couldn’t help yourself anymore, something had to happen.

You sure as hell don’t know what but you knew that you had to come clean. You woke up from your thoughts and just looked at him, and chuckled. “Well, I don’t know how to begin, honestly” you shaked your head in frustration. “There’s so much that has happened between us and I just dont know how to talk about this without hurting you or losing you” you sighed. “Look, just tell me” he gave me a half smile, “you can trust me, we are friends” he said as he sat down on a chair.

You sighed and said “I can’t do this, I don’t want us to be friends” you finally said and chuckled over how that might have sounded “wait, what?” He looked so confused and raised up from his chair. “I can’t be friends with you any longer because” you looked at him deep into his eyes as you walked over to him and kissed him deeply, his hands grabbed your arms and then he lifted his hans to slowly cup your face.

You broke the kiss out of shock and looked at him, waiting for him to say anything but then “Y\N, listen” he sighed, and seemt to struggle with his words. You shook your head and felt your tears coming up, “I’m sorry, I knew it, I’ll Leave and pretend this never happened” you said as you begin to run out the door.

Suddenly you felt his hand stopping you from leaving. “What do you want?” You whispered, he grabbed your neck and guided you close. “This” He simply put and kissed you deeply. “I just can’t” he began as he kissed you once more, “I can’t do this if it means that I will lose you, I don’t want this to end badly and lose you” he said as he kissed you once more, you couldn’t help but chuckle and hug him tightly “I don’t want to lose you either” you whispered as you hugged him tightly and kissed him. “You smell so good” you smiled and kissed him on his cheek as he chuckled. “Lets get out of here” he said and grabbed your hand, on your way to walk out of the music room hand in hand with Archie.

You couldn’t believe it, you had dreamed about this moment for so long. Literally in your dreams, now everyone at school would know that you and Archie are dating, like you were freaking out so much. You thought you were beginning to have an anxiety attack or something, so you stopped Archie from walking out “wait” you said and began breathing deeply, counting to ten.

He looked at you and knew what was going on, he grabbed you and pulled you into a hug before he said calmly “I’m here” he said and smiled. “Do you want to talk about it or do something?” He asked. He knew about your anxiety all to well, he’s been there for you for every attack. No matter how late or early it was.

He looked at you and said “how about some takeaway at pops, go back to my house?” He asked and you finally unfroze and looked up at him. “Yes, I would love too but, listen I’m so sorry-“ you began and he kissed you before you could finish your sentence “from now on I will kiss you every time you apologise of something that’s not your fault” he said with a smile, and you giggled. “It’s just allot, that’s all” you reasured him.

He kissed you once more “I’m here” he reasured you and you nodded, “let’s go” you said to him with a grin, he kissed you once more on your cheek and said “finally” as you walked outside the classroom, everyone stood there looking at you.

He looked at you with a grin and pulled you into a half hug as he kissed you at your chin. Betty and Veronica gave you the happiest smiles and said in unison “Finally!”. At the end of the hallway he kissed you deeply for everyone to see.

[somevirtualnolife]

Spot Check

Rating: G Pairing: Taash x Rook (Qunari Rogue) Summary: Taash and Tsura (Rook), take on a small mission for the the Lords of Fortune. Taash is new to the team and Tsura still isn't sure what to make of them, but some one-on-one time could help. Also on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61087747

Author's Notes:

I loveeee Veilguard so far and I really like Taash, which is surprising to me because they weren't really on my radar at all when they first advertised them. But once they joined my party and I got the steamy kabedon scene, I was all in.

I think there is something about how they navigate their identity that is really touching and in some ways, cathartic. They get to be mad and frustrated in an outward way that I wouldn't be able to. I like that. And I think my Rook likes that too.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to focus more on the fact that they are in fact, a super hot jock. And who doesn't like to watch a super hot jock do their thing? I also thought it would be incredibly funny to stick to the canon of Rook not being able to swim. By the way, I hope you like my rook and her profile will be up on my Tumblr soon enough (which you can find on my profile page).

I hope you enjoyed reading it!

Tsura wasn’t sure what to make of Taash when they first met. A young qunari who also happened to be an adaari? That was bound to make anyone have strong emotions and opinions. Tsura wasn’t always known for being level-headed herself, but her work usually required a certain level of sweet talking and careful wording. Whenever she brought along Taash, it often devolved into threats and kicking down a wall. Which then meant that they would have to run as fast as they could before any major reinforcements could arrive.  

But Taash also had a sense of justice, and their encyclopedic knowledge of dragons would most certainly give the team an edge against the elven gods. The way that they handled the Antaam? There was no doubt they were an asset. But what about on a personal level? Their team was small, and as the de facto leader, Tsura wanted to make sure that they could work together, whether they liked each other or not.

Today’s mission wasn’t about that though. It was standard Lords of Fortune stuff, which meant it was really just Tsura and Taash that needed to be there. Sure, they were out there trying to save Thedas from ultimate destruction, but what Isabela wanted, she got. Because she was Isabela, the Pirate Queen, and who was Tsura to say no her?

It was pretty simple on paper. Retrieve some treasure from a cache that another lord had hidden. The lord had been intercepted before they could retrieve it for the final leg of the mission. Of course, as it turned out, retrieving the item was not a simple case of unlocking a chest.

The cache was up a cliffside, overlooking the sea. While there were some indents and branches that indicated a vague path, the original treasure hunter had made it pretty clear that others would have to work for it.  

“Of course this couldn’t be easy,” Tsura said.  She put her hands on her hips and shook her head.

“I mean, if you fall, you’ll just land in the water. No jagged rocks to fall on at least. Might just take a few tries if you’re really bad at it,” Taash responded.

Tsura continued to stare upwards and then towards the small crevice where the treasure was stored. Then she looked at the water right below it. It’s true there wasn’t anything that could break your spine at least. But that wasn’t the problem.

“Yeah… about that.” She let out an exhale, shaking her head. “I can’t swim. And if I fall, I’m basically gonna sink and die.”

It wasn’t a phobia of water. She knew her way around a ship and could wade up to her hips. She just never actually learned the swimming part of it, as her parents never bothered to teach her. And while she was pretty nimble and acrobatic, even she could tell she might take a few falls before getting the hang of the climb.

Taash was taken aback. “How the hell did you become a Lord of Fortune, then?”

“I just kinda… lied?” She scratched her head in frustration. “I could do everything else Isabela asked and mostly just stuck to inner island stuff,”

“Rivain is nothing but coasts and water. Didn’t think that eventually you would have to swim?”

 “Look, I’m a rogue! Always stretching the truth and convincing some sucker to do things for you when you can’t.”

“Ah. So, I’m the sucker in this case, huh?”

Tsura, you idiot.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. “That’s not what I meant. Sorry,”

The dragon hunter stared at her for a moment before busting out laughing and heavily patting Tsura on the back that nearly caused her to stumble face first into the sand. How was it that even at six feet, she somehow felt like a rag doll?

“Relax, Rook. I was kidding. Figured someone who is sarcastic as you would catch that,” the dragon hunter said. “Anyway, hang tight, I got this. Just spot me, alright?”

“Sure.” Even if Tsura couldn’t trust herself to climb up there, her eyes were sharp. What she lacked in swimming ability, she made up for in most other things.

Taash rolled their neck and stretched their arms before leaping upwards towards one of the palm trees. As soon as their foot made contact with the stump, they kicked off of it and managed to grab hold of one of the jagged rocks sticking out of the ledge. They danged for a brief moment before finally planting their feat on another ledge and carefully started climbing.

Whoa.

A person would have to be blindfolded to not notice Taash’s physique at first glance. They were a qunari warrior who towered over essentially everyone on their team, after all. However, as they pulled themselves from rock to rock, Tsura couldn’t help but notice how each of the muscles on their arms and back were so well defined it was as if they’d been carefully carved out of marble. In the past, Tsura would’ve said that Taash looked as though she was built like a god, but now that she’d met Ghilan'nain in person, that would be an insult. No, Taash was…

“You gonna tell me what’s next, or what?” Taash called down to her.

Right. Spotting.

Focus, you dummy.

Tsura cupped her hands over her mouth. “Don’t put your foot there, that part is basically debris.”

“Good eye,” the taller qunari grunted as they continued across and further up.

“Surprising to see a warrior so nimble!” Tsura couldn’t help but call out.

“When you’re hunting dragons, you—oof—have to scale a few cliffsides!” Taash called back.

It wasn’t long before the the dragon hunter neared a small crevice marked by some red powder. The cache.

“There! The branch above you. If you grab onto that, you should be able to reach in.”

“Gotcha.”

Just as they swung from it, the branch snapped. Taash reached out with their left hand and managed to cling onto the crevice, clearly straining every muscle in their arm. They tried to find footing, but there seemed to be no cracks or indents to place even a single toe. They then tried to reach upwards, but that didn’t seem to offer them any luck either.

“Vashedan!” was all Tsura could hear before Taash lost their grip and plunged into the water.

“Shit,” Tsura said, pulling off her boots and wading in up to her knees, before the dragon hunter finally emerged from the waves a few meters away.  

“I’m alright. The armor weighed me down a bit.”

Tsura let out an exhale. “That could have been bad. Would have hated to have our best dragon hunter drown.”

“What about you? Were you about to jump in? That would have made two drowned qunari. Anyway, don’t worry, I grabbed the treasure right before I fell.”

“Wait, really?”

“Here.”

Taash tossed her the retrieved treasure. A beautiful golden chalice, adorned with gemstones and intricate designs that looked Tevinter in origin. The rogue squinted and brought it up closer.

“And… it’s a fake.”

“What?”

“This chalice. It’s a fake. These aren’t rubies, they’re just well-polished rhinestones. I have a feeling our treasure hunter who was ‘intercepted’ may have decided to keep the real treasure for themselves and skip town.”

“Well, that’s a load of vashedan.” Taash twisted their braid in their hands, squeezing the excess water. “This is why I only hunt dragons. At worst someone will say they saw a dragonling, but it’s actually a wyvern. And it’s not because they’re lying. It’s just because they’re idiots. And wyverns are still pretty cool, I guess. Not as cool as dragons, but you know,”

Tsura couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. Taash was pretty funny, actually. She was surprised she hadn’t noticed it sooner.

“That was still really impressive though,” she said.  

“Oh yeah?” Taash paused for a moment and their dark eyes stared deeply into the smaller qunari’s golden ones.

“From a—uh—cliff scaling standpoint? It was good. The Lords of Fortune are smart to have hired you.” Tsura finally broke  eye contact and went back to looking over the chalice.

“Oh.” Taash finally let go of their braid and flicked it back over their shoulder. “Well, you’re an okay spotter I guess.”

“Only okay?”

“Well, I fell on that last part, so yeah. Okay spotter.”

“Wow. Thanks, Taash. Super helpful,”

“But you’re a good leader willing to risk their life, so I guess it evens out. And the Lords of Fortune are lucky to have hired you, too. Isabela would have been pissed if you gave her this fake crap.”   

Tsura cracked a half smile. “Well, let’s go tell her anyway. Then we can head back. I think Lucanis is cooking tonight, so at least we’ll get back to a good meal,”

Thus ended their short and unsuccessful quest. Well, perhaps not entirely unsuccessful. One thing that Tsura was certain of now at least what she thought of Taash.

And perhaps “like” wasn’t a strong enough word for what she was feeling right now.

[foone]

Please don’t feel obligated to reply because this might be a touchy issue, but i see on one of your posts that you hate Hacker News. I just discovered HN a few months ago and have been enjoying it, but as a fellow trans person i’m curious if they’ve been transphobic or the like (based on the context of your comment) and if i should stay away

OKAY SO here's thing thing: as a reader, HN is... fine. They're not great. They have a history of sexism in what posts get boosted and a history of various shades of transphobia in the comments, but that's not particularly unusual as far as internet forums go. Reddit is much the same, for example.

My problems with HN are related to getting posted there. The way the site works when you're reading it and when you're getting posted there are very different. More explanation under the readmore since this got long. (warning: some talk of transphobia and doxxing)

The site is not avoidable. Back when I was still on twitter, getting posted on HN meant your notifications were useless for a week, because they are scraped by endless bots trying to farm for likes and reblogs, and every single one of them ends up tagging you. And even now when I'm off twitter, getting posted there means you still get informed that you've been posted there, by well-meaning people who know you hate it, or are just innocently commentating on how it's neat to see you on HN. Or hey, in the latest iteration, you find out because your askbox is now full of slurs (and not just the ones you'd expect!). Basically, it is impossible to be submitted to HN and not know about it.

And then it gets worse because it's now a known fact that I don't like being on HN. Meaning every time I AM on HN, it turns into a big debate in the comments about why I don't like HN, why I post the way I do, and people arguing with the explanation of my opinion. I'm not even there, and people are mad at the phantom of me for not doing things in the way they like.

Because how I post is part of what they always get mad at me about. I have severe ADHD: This is a well known fact about me, I post about it a lot. It means that I used to post on twitter a lot, because twitter was (at the time) one of the only sites I could post on at all: The way it makes you chop up your line of thinking into small chunks, each of which is small enough that I can focus on it. I've since managed to handle tumblr-posting, and I occasionally post on mastodon now, but for most of the time that I was posted on HN, I was posting this way, only on twitter, in long threads where I don't think much ahead or do editing/revisions BECAUSE I CAN'T.

And here's the thing about people who prefer more "traditional" geek news sites like HN: A lot of them are there because they hate the bite-size nature of sites like twitter and tiktok. And they are Not Happy with people submitting twitter threads to HN: They hate that kind of formatting of content, and announce that fact, loudly.

And then people in the comments point out that I have ADHD and can't post in the style they'd prefer (long well-edited blog posts), and then it turns into an argument there, often with people happily brining up their opinions on whether ADHD is "real" or things like that. Again, I'm getting argued about without being there to defend myself.

And this is where it gets transphobic, through the indirect route of sexism: Someone says something innocent but vaguely dickish like "well he should just hire someone to rewrite all his twitter posts as blog posts!" (like they think I am doing this as a job and can afford to pay an editor, rather than just some weirdo who rants because that's what they do). They assume I'm a man, because most of the people who get posted on HN (and especially the ones who get upvoted) are. They just assume everyone without an Obviously Female Name and a profile picture that's a photo of a smiling woman is male, and honestly they're probably right most of the time, because that's just how the gender balance on HN ends up working.

And then someone points out I use they/them pronouns, and it just goes to shit. You get people yelling that it's not their job to figure out the pronouns of everyone they're talking about, like it's a perfectly normal thing to just assume everyone is male, you get people arguing about how "he" used to be the gender neutral pronoun, you get people arguing that singular-they is ungrammatical, you get people taking offense at the very idea of they/them pronouns because "you can't force everyone to follow your religion" (as apparently either trans or non-binary is a religion now (well, I am a pope)), and then a bunch of "[post flagged]" and you can only speculate about how bad THOSE posts were, if so much other transphobia is still sitting in the comments, untouched by the supposed moderators who are supposed to delete it.

You get people calling you mentally ill, and then getting in arguments about how they mean YOU SPECIFICALLY for the crime of "wanting to not be posted on HN", and not all trans people. Because apparently the HN rules are fine with you saying "this specific trans person is mentally ill and should be locked up" as long as you don't imply that your statements also apply to trans people in general.

And then you get hate in your contact forms for days because people realize you're not active on the HN comments and need to bring the "fight" to you directly.

And frankly, this whole mess is made worse by the site's userbase treating it as a joke or something easily fixable. Like, aside from making my pronouns "obvious" (I'm not sure how, exactly? it's already in all my profiles) which wouldn't help, they want me to just move to a different site, one where I can easily block incoming links by their referrer? They always point to JWZ's blog as an example of this, but he's hosting his posts on his own site. He fundamentally is doing something very different than I am, and I really shouldn't have to CHANGE WHAT SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS I USE just because they're being a butt.

And treating it like a joke? oy vey! I once posted a rant on tumblr about WHY EXACTLY I don't like getting posted on HN, and guess what happened next? SOMEONE POSTED THAT THREAD ON HN.

They also have a history of getting mad at me for not wanting to be posted on HN, like it's prima-dona behavior or "egotistical". Like I should be just happy that my stuff got posted there, something that has only ever brought negative attention. I think maybe they assume I'm doing this as a job, and every time they link to my stuff, I make a bunch of money? That's not the case. I don't make any money from them. I don't have ads. This isn't my job. (Fun fact: I know at least one person who has their blog set up to show ads only when HN links to their content, and not otherwise)

I really don't know why they think it's egotistical of me to not want to get harassed, dismissed, and spammed by their site and their users. It's almost like they think it's me posting my content on HN myself, which I would never do because it doesn't aid me in any way. If I was making content for them, I would make sure it gets posted there. I'm not, so I don't. I post for the sites I post on. I could blog in a way they'd like and then post it to HN if I wanted to. I don't. I choose to tweet (in the past) or post on tumblr or post on mastodon, because I'm posting for those specific communities.

And the thing about it is that all these points are, to some extent, obvious. And people know them. Maybe not the people posting the most unthinking takes on HN, but others will point them out. So this just contributes to any HN thread on my posts turning into a big argument.

And there's always people going "WELL JUST DON'T READ THE POSTS ABOUT YOU" as if that's a reasonable option. first of all, I can't be ignorant about them, as mentioned before they kick down my door and go HEY FOONE YOU'RE ON HACKERNEWS. But more importantly, I'm trans. Do you know what happens if enough people get mad at you online? They start posting your home address, phone number, and pictures of your face and relatives. I have to stay at least SLIGHTLY aware of how the discussion on me is going, or I'll be completely surprised when someone shows up at my house with a gun. (This isn't hyperbole: I have gotten doxxed before because I made a twitter thread that got the wrong people a little too mad at me)

Anyway I've talked to the admins of the site and they have basically refused to do anything about it. They admit that they can block my posts from showing up on the site, but they don't want to because people enjoy my content. My wishes don't matter.

And anyway the epilogue is that this has mostly worked out by now. I stopped posting on twitter, not because HN was pushing me to a site where I could better control my post's reach, but because Elon destroyed it. I'm posting longer-form content now, not because my ADHD got better, but because years of training myself to write this way has made it so that I can handle writing as if I was on twitter-like sites, without the enforced restrictions of them.

And I have countermeasures against HN now. Offensive and defensive ones. I'm a little less likely to be posting Cool Tech Stuff here on tumblr now (because every time this happens it severely dampens my enthusiasm for the subject), but I'm a lot less worried that something I post will end up on HN now, as I have options. (I don't want to go into them because HN being HN, they might take preemptive counter-countermeasures to try to disarm them).

Anyway, tl;dr: it's okay if you like reading the site. my problems with it are with getting submitted there, not with reading it. As long as you don't submit my content there, that's 100% okay with me.

[snugglesquiggle]

I have a question, how do you structure your stories? like Hostile Takeover for example. What is your technique on plotting?

there are two answers to this question. “do as i say”, and “do as i actually do”

here’s the most direct and unhelpful to this question: to plot stories i think really hard about what would be cool to happen in the next chapter. then i write five chapters and now journey and destination are both unrecognizable and my crops are dying

for all that it doesn’t much matter, Hostile Takeover actually has the unique distinction of being the first story i’ve both outlined and polished. while i have a lot of stories that are written like stories rather than summaries, and while i also have a lot of outlines, usually i end up with one or the other

on 2023-10-31, not long after reading Tessaract, i had a thought about how to structure a J/Uzi dynamic. (it was your classic ‘what if Uzi reminded J of Tessa?’ idea, but back in 2023, i didn’t see anyone else thinking of that yet)

i noodled on the thought some, ended up crossbreeding this idea with an old V/Uzi idea that didn’t pan out, and the pieces started clicking together

now, to be clear, at this point i still had no plans to write this. i wasn’t a fanfiction writer. instead, i pulled open up a brainstorming channel on discord and starting typing. i didn’t stop typing till long after it had grown far, far too long to post on discord

i wrote 10k words that day, in fact. if you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know this is a pretty common pattern. i think of a story idea, lock into hyperfocus, and yap a whole novella trying to explain why the story idea is so cool

if you dig around on my site, you can find a few example of outlines written in this fashion. the fact that i went on to flesh out that outline with actual prose is what seems most miraculous about hostile takeover — without exception, this is the step that has killed every other outline

but i’m really getting off track here. you asked about how to structure stories, so circling back to talk about my outline process rather than my fleshing-out process seems prudent. (but put a pin here, we’ll come back to this later because there’s a big caveat to mention)

also i should probably put a read more thingy here for the people scrolling past this

there’s a difficulty in me talking honestly about outlining, because i barely structure my stories, at least consciously. i first notice an idea is really cool, and i think about who in my friends list i’m going to subject to my bullshit explain it to, and it naturally adopts an “okay, but before i can get to that, you first need to hear about this so that everything hits just right” and on and on until i’m starting off ten pages away from the actual point.

but i guess there is a structure even in that, because i’m not consciously thinking about these sentences i’m writing either, yet that’s not because i don’t know how to structure nouns and verbs, it’s that i’ve spent so long thinking about them that i don’t need to anymore.

there’s something deceptively, lede-buryingly coy about me acting like i have any difficulty talking about outlining. i think my tumblr audience largely doesn’t know, but i’ve been writing essays about how to write for years. outlining might be the thing i’ve written about the most!

the three most relevant are, “Ur-Development”, “Outlines as Temporarily Embarrassed Drafts”, and to a lesser extent, “Pacing is Madness”

Embarrassed Drafts is the one i’d suggest you read, if you’re going to read one, because it’s specifically my response to a friend asking me a very similar question (i.e. “how does one start plotting a story”)

Ur-Dev is an old essay, written two years ago a this point, and i’m not linking it because it’s a bad essay. mediocrely written, and i don’t fully agree with its prescriptions as much as i once did, but it was still a major turning point in how i thought about stories. it’s essentially my take on the hero’s journey (part of why i dislike it)

but the outlining essay was written before i wrote hostile takeover, so i have about a year’s more experience now. so here’s how i would boil it down in 2024

telling a story is just raising then answering a question using drama and detail. now, drama comes down to how you write characters, detail comes down to how you write prose (or render images) — but the questions themselves? that’s what plot is

vaguest of all, this is questions like “what happens next” or “how does it end?”

but these questions suck because they ask you to draw the rest of the owl. the really good questions are ones like “how does this happen” or “why is she like that” — they’re directly prompts for you to explain

now, i don’t think think in terms of questions. like i said, i think of cool stuff first

if you read or watch videos about how to write, you’ll quickly run into the idea of “plotters” and “pantsers”, and i think the essence of this distinction is whether the answers or the questions come first

and how best to answer this ask depends on which you are — do you have a premise that you want to explore and find a story in, or do you have a payoff that you want to lead the reader to appreciate?

i’m ambidextrous myself, i’ve gotten good results from either approach, but i identify as a planner just because i can never feel comfortable starting paragraph unless i already know what the last word is.

but both kinds of writers are producing the same thing in different orders. the structure that arises when you raise and answer questions has three steps: presentation, transition, and conclusion. (or if you prefer, beginning, middle and end)

to make this all less abstract, let’s sketch out an example. i have a whole vault of juzi fic ideas i dont have time to write but one of them is based on a simple idea: what if Uzi pointed her gun a little lower when she fires the first shot in the pilot, taking out N’s core?

and since i’m the one writing it, this will lead back to juzi somehow. that already gives us two tentpoles to structure a story around

my first piece of advice for the presentating the beginning is that stories should start in a state of ambiguity or falsehood. what every the story is about, whatever the big question might be, in the beginningwe must not know the final answer.

to see what it looks like if you don’t do this, imagine we wrote the fic like this. Uzi kills N. she goes “holy hell” and does a fistbump, and walks back to the outpost high on her accomplishment. she tells her dad and her classmates about how she killed a murder drone, and they’re all impressed. she goes to bed feeling super cool. the end.

now in fairness, it’s all about the execution. this could very well be a good fic! (i think there’s a nice oneshot to be written in the sheer novelty of uzi actually doing what she planned to in the pilot and winning her dad’s respect and stuff). but i think a good fic would only be good by virtue of adding stuff that’s not there in this short summary.

this summary isn’t a good story (arguably not a story at all), and there can exist one-paragraph ideas that are good and story-shaped

the problem is that all those scenes of uzi walking back and talking to other drones don’t add or explore anything that wasn’t presented at the start with her killing N. it doesn’t inform the audience of anything or transform the ideas, it’s just a repetition of the “Uzi killed N” core idea

here’s an improvement. it goes mostly the same — Uzi’s thrilled, the whole colony is proud of her, everything seems great, but then that night when she goes to sleep, there’s a tremor of unease. she’s remembering the battle without the thrill of digital adrenaline, and did she see that yellow cross flicker to fear a frame before the end? that night, she has nightmares, witnessing silver hair and yellow eyes torn apart as she watches.

this is would be a pretty cliche story, but i do think it’s a story, and it illustrates what i’m talking about. here, we’ve decided the core question is “how does Uzi feel about killing N?” and the this fic starts with a false answer to that question (“she’d think it’s awesome”), and builds to the real answer (“she’d actually feel a bit guilty about it”)

but here’s another angle. uzi killed N the same way she canonically killed J at the end of the pilot — this implies that after Uzi leaves, we’ll wind up with eldritch N worming it up. we know that material collection starts off pretty stealthy, so we might imagine that when J and V return, N’s corpse has already skittered off.

J could be thrilled to be rid of a synergistic liability (or maybe she knows he has backups), but V would be shattered. her whole reason for playing along with killing workers was to protect N. maybe she spends night after night searching for sign of him, or sinking into a depression, but either way J immediately grow frustrated with her tanking productivity.

meanwhile in the outpost, there’s celebrations at Uzi’s accomplishments — but one drone is giving her a very significant look. for once, Lizzy and Doll aren’t laughing at Uzi. Lizzy’s smiling with all the rest of them, of course, but Doll has a calculating stare. that night, when Uzi goes to her room, Doll’s waiting for her, red eyes shining the dark, a cheerleader jumpscare.

Doll has a question. she watched her parents be killed by murder drones. but her father managed to snap a picture of it. she shows that to Uzi, asking if the goth killed that drone. she hadn’t. Uzi expected disappointment, but Doll smiles. excellent, she says. i’m going to kill this one — you may assist me. Uzi’s indignant — assist her? excuse me? she’s the hero here! Doll doesn’t respond, simply stating to meet in the locker room after cheer practice if she’s interesting.

i’m getting carried away here, so let me stop before i outline a whole fic. the point here was to illustrate the other way to draw a proper story out of a premise.

more complex than correcting a false answer to the question, you can extrapolate a chain of answers. characters react and make plans and new scenarios arise as a consequence of what happened before.

what happens when j & v arrive to an empty nest? what happens when Doll and Uzi work together to take down V? in order to answer these questions, you have to go step by step

now, there’s hidden magic even in this tutorial. i could have written this scenario any number of ways — i chose to have Uzi make it home, instead of encountering V and J in the spire, or along the way back. i chose to have J and V react in a way that pit them against each other. i chose to have Doll want to recruit Uzi rather than be jealous, and i specifically chose to have her appear all creepy-like in Uzi’s room.

part of plotting stories is coming up with these ideas and making these choices as to how events progress. some of these choices make for better stories, but it’s hard to give much specific advice for learning how to generate and evaluate these idea-seeds — “keep reading and writing stories” will get you there, though

i do want to highlight how i already i can see neat beats to steer this nascent story towards. for instance, what does Doll and Uzi’s partnership look like on the every day level? wouldn’t it be interesting if, riding on the wave of fame and appreciate Uzi gains from her heroics, Lizzy and Doll tried to integrate the goth into their clique — genuinely preparing her to be popular?

but ideas are honestly cheap. the beginning of the story is all about presenting interesting questions to the reader. the middle of the story is all about exploring, developing, and working out the answers to that question.

the word i used earlier is transition, but transition to what? you can’t really understand middles or what their purpose is until you understand endings.

many centuries ago, the greek philosopher aristotle said something i love to repeat. the conclusion to a story should be surprising, yet inevitable. (i think there’s a single word that captures this spirit: ingenious. or perhaps even just creative)

this is why i insisted that a story should start in a state of ambiguity or outright falsehood regarding its core question. the final answer can’t be any surprise if it’s something we already knew, so we should be uncertain or falsely sure until the very end.

that can’t be all of it. after all, “Uzi kills N. will she go home or stay in the spire?” is a question we start off unsure about. but this can’t be a core question, because there’s nothing surprising nor inevitable her choice either way. it’s filler worth eliding over, as i did in my summaries above.

except we can make it a more interesting question. what if Uzi wanted to scavenge more than the railgun macguffin from the murder drones lair — what if the murder drones had tons of useful supplies that she could bring back to the outpost. …but her railgun is in cooldown and as she looks around the base, she sees clear signs there are other murder drones.

so, is Uzi the type to risk it, or play it safe? posed that way, suddenly it not only seems like she would stick around in the spire, but it also feels like it’s satisfying writing to resolve the dilemma this way.

…except, remember that she nearly died in her fight with N. remember that he stuck her hand with his nanite acid, and this time he’s not around to kiss it better. uzi can barely hold her railgun, let alone scavenge for supplies.

(her return to the outpost will play out differently, won’t it? instead of celebrations the next morning, she’d probably stagger in, exhausted from pain and oil loss, wake up in the repair bay with her concerned father giving her a stern talking to.)

but i digress again. you might notice that i’ve incidentally been demonstrating what it takes to craft a middle here. story transitions are all about drawing out the reasons why a plot point ought to go one way or the other, pitting them against each other and crowning the victor.

payoff needs to be earned; transitions are about building toward the conclusion. if stories about about answering a core question, why not just write out the question and the answer? “what happens if Uzi kills N? she’d feel guilty about it. the end.” that’s lame as fuck. you need the triumph and celebration, to see Uzi getting the recognition she always craved, so that when she lays down and feels that one atom of guilted unease tug at her, it lands like a poignant gutpunch in miniture.

middles are so hard because they serve two contradictory purposes. you have to convince the audience that this is all building toward the final conclusion, and you have the convince the audience that it’s not gonna turn out that way at all ;]

surprising, yet inevitable. too inevitable, and the audience loses interest in the predictable slog. too suprising, and the audience starts to think you’ve lost the plot and forgotten what the story is supposed to be about.

there’s another stumbling block for endings. remember worm N? what was i cooking with that? there’s a very similar version of this post where i never mentioned or thought of material collection at all, and just said Uzi kills N like she killed J in the pilot and continued plotting out the rest.

i can already tell you, i have ideas for where that story goes from there, and right now worm N doesn’t factor into any of them.

it’s a loose plot thread. sometimes, in the process of trying to answer one question, you raise another that you have no interest in answering. but the audience has no way of reading your intent, so they could be following along expecting a synthesized "Giggle." and never getting it.

really, there’s a whole host of missteps i probably should have brought up before now. sometimes, you try to raise a question and the readers dont catch it, or they don’t care for it. it’s not enough to ask “what if Uzi kills N?” (though fanfiction has the definite advantage that, because we’re murder drones superfans, we already care enough about these characters to be piqued by that alone). you have to convince the audience that this is a really interesting question, and they need to see where you’re going with this.

but i dont know how much of that is a question of plot stucture vs writing well generally.

so let’s start wrapping up this essay

you can explain a lot of otherwise finnicky writer-speak through this lens.

what is a hook? it’s the core question the story aims to resolve. it’s the protagonist’s goal, it’s the mystery, it’s the crazy what if scenario.

what are stakes? it’s the possible answers to the question presented early on, especially ones that that would be bad for the characters we’re invested in.

what is setup? it’s plot points and exposition that give the reader the pieces that’ll eventually click together into the final answer.

what is tension? it’s pieces that don’t fit; it’s setup for one of the bad ends specified by the stakes.

what is payoff? it’s when all the build up finally arrives, in spite of all the tension, at the answer promised by the hook.

so, what is my technique for plotting a story? start with the hook or the payoff. whichever one comes first, i know that the other has to be different, inverted via a surprising twist. then figure out what faultline of conflict runs between those two points. what interacting plotlines must collide to transform one to the other?

after that comes the detailed work of crafting lines of logic that follows that flow.

and this, finally is where i pull out the pin in that big caveat i mentioned thousands of words ago — this is where i finally start talking about Hostile Takeover.

i mentioned that i outlined Hostile Takeover from start to finish in one day, producing a 10k word first draft. but in a meaningful sense, that outline was not hostile takeover (on my computer, i now have it saved as “Lethal Acquisition”)

Hostile Takeover is 186k words, and barely covers the first thousand words of the outline. here’s what that looks like

Chapter 1

j&v are out hunting drones. v’s making a mess as usual, and j’s a bit annoyed at her splashing oil all over her. then, on the visor of one dead drone, the absolv glyph flashes. v gets super spooked and it leaves her off balance for the rest of the hunt and j ends up calling it early

back at the spire, j’s trying to do a debrief or postmortem of their last hunt but v is all of out of sorts, unresponsive. (she’s having flashbacks to cyn). this keeps going until j’s about to do something invasive — reboot her? mess with her configuration? — but n steps in to protect her, saying he’ll talk to her and get her back to normal without hacking her. j rolls her eyes, but leaves them to it.

j’s mad, and copes in a private room while straightening her hair. she rants to herself about their quota and how at this rate they’ll never make best team. n’ll fail, he usually does, and when he does then j can reformat v, but till then she’s stuck with two synergistic liabilities. fuck it, j will just go on a hunt on her own. she’s better than them anyway. she’ll fill their quota singlehandedly if she has to.

Chapter 2

j is interviewing the new disassembly drone. at first, she’s relieved at her team getting an extra hand, but it quickly becomes clear this drone is even more defective than v or n. in fact… a lot of this isn’t adding up. she’s missing the last few hours of her memory, one of her sensors is offline — this isn’t a disassembly drone, is it? j requests some data transfer so she can confirm the drone’s identity. uzi of course refuses, starts to run — but j easily overpowers her. with her sensors offline she cant be sure she didn’t just attack one of the company’s drones for no reason, so she checks uzi’s memory.

it’s becomes obvious this isn’t a murder drone, but she plays back her fight with the drone from another pov. she sees uzi’s shock at seeeing a murder drone. but her first thought was: pigtails? why does it have hair? why does it look so… immaculate? j’s laughs. because she’s just that great. but then her eye is caught by something else: the sick as hell—, excuse me, highly effective magnetically amplified blah blah

j steps out of uzi’s memories and sighs. with uzi pinned, she sighs and starts monologuing. uzi struggles to get up, but it’s ultimately in vain, so she has to suffer through it. uzi says, “i can’t believe i lost to the one murder drone on copper-9 who monologues. j’s like, you should feel honored, toaster. do you think i monologue for anyone? i’ve killed thirteen drones today. do you know how they died? she presses a claw to uzi’s throat.”snip, sip. i’m not v. i don’t make messes." “so why?” she holds up the railgun. “this. it’s a remarkably effective weapon. shoddy, unreliable, but the concept? if it were manufactured to jcjenson’s standard of quality… well. do you think your colony’s walls could withstand this?” uzi’s eyes hollow, then she’s like, “ha, outpost three has the finest doors in all of copper-9. my dad made them. do you think i’d create something that could destroy them?” “oh well, it doesn’t matter anyway. all of this is tragic preamble. it never mattered. because you’re a worker drone, and my orders are clear. you would have made a good disassembler.” “is that a compliment? just fucking bite me. i’m nothing like you.” “are we really so different? ha, what am i saying, of course we are.” j stabs uzi and it’s over.

Chapter 3

j’s dragging uzi’s body back to the corpse spire, so she notices when the absolv glyph flashes on her screen. “oh uzi, even in death you’re interesting.” instead of placing uzi with the other corpses, she stows her away in her room.

the next day, j’s flipping through the schematics she stole from uzi’s memories, trying to reproduce them and failing, growing increasingly frustrated. that worker drone wasn’t better than me. n stumbles across her like this, and he smiles. oh j, have you taken in interest in human technology? she snaps at him, then regrets it a moment later. say n… she contemplates giving him to specs to puzzle it out, then stops. nevermind. she doesn’t want to share uzi’s schematics. why?

v hasn’t had her fill of oil in a while now, and is getting hungry. she checks the spire’s corpses for dregs, most of them cold and congealed, or empty, but there’s one fresh, warm one, brimming with oil. did someone forget to drain this one? v doesn’t question her luck, tears off a limp and eagerly feed.

j walks in on this.

Chapter 4

seeing v feed on uzi, j attacks v. (in the course of the battle, she bites v and feels that familiar sour taste of another disassembler) j says “that was mine.” “ugh, someone’s stingy. aren’t we teammates?” “aren’t we disassembly drones? you wouldn’t be so hungry if you were doing your job. did n talk sense into you yet?” “you have no idea what you’re talking about. you think you’re in charge, but you don’t understand anything.” “i understand that i’ve given you an order. this drone is mine, and you are not to feed on it. am I clear? by disciplinary code 31c, insubordination will result in—” “i get it. i’m sure overheating is just what i need to get back to hunting. your drone tastes like shit anyway.” j glares at her, and v glares back. then she leaves.

j watches uzi’s corpse. the absolv symbol is faint, flickering. despite being dead, claw right through the motherboard, there’s still electricity humming through her. her oil is still warm. even in death. “oh uzi, uzi, uzi.”

n is bouncing a ball towards v while v occasionally, carelessly, knocks it back. despite her apparent disinterest, n is consistently able to catch it, and he whoops in joy. v sticks a knife through the ball when j shows up. “j”. “that’s captain j to you, serial designation v.” she rolls her eyes. “am i going to get flagged insubordinate for reminding you of something?” “why, it is foundational to jcjenson’s philosophy to maintain and open and receptive relationship between employ—” “that’s corporatespeak for no, right? i was thinking about what you said, j. we’re disassembly drones. so it seems odd to me that you haven’t disassembled that drone you keep in your room. you know that’s the whole point, right?” j lunges at v. (n watches on with concern.) “while we strive to remain open and receptive, I can’t but feel your reminder isn’t more than a dressed up personal attack on my intelligence and capability. and that—” “—is insubordination, yeah yeah. whatever j, that’s not the point and you know it. disassemble it. you know what happens if we don’t.” “what happens, v?” she asks sweetly. “you don’t know. neither of you know. neither of you remember. ugh. can you trust me, j?” “i trust results, v. there was a time, not too long ago, when i thought i could trust you. maybe we’ll go back to that.” “i’m not playing games, j. if you take too long it might be too late.” j grins. “that sounds like a lot of employee incentive, doesn’t it? get back to work, v.”

back in her room, j is calming her nerves by fixing her hair. she glances at uzi. she fixes uzi’s hair too. then, she connects to her system, and checks to see how her abberent processes are handling the lack of motherboard. she pings and gets a response. she’s excited (why? shouldn’t she disassemble uzi?), and queries the system for a log of activity and errors. and that’s when she finds op codes that are very familiar from diagnosing herself and her teammates, and never any worker drones. it’s repairing itself. it’s draining its oil reserves. just like us. “we really aren’t so different, are we? maybe jcjenson did send me a new teammate”. J feeds uzi some of her spare oil, piles on the parts of discarded drones hope it’s enough mass for repairs to commence.

what you’ll notice about this outline is that it’s mid as hell. all of the most interesting parts of HT aren’t here. now, some of the drafting process involved repurposing later beats earlier than expected (the first tessa flashback was at the start of chapter 6, acting as a sort of bridge between “act one” and “act two”; and N and V’s hunt together repurposes some ideas i planned to introduce in battle among a field of windmills) but that can’t explain all that bloat and sprawl.

it would be a understatement to say HT grew in the telling. it’s not so much outlined as loosely inspired by the outline.

i say that in the tone of a joke, but this represents my new outlook on what outlines are for. it’s not like guidelines in a sketch layer, where subsequent inking and rendering might refine bits of anatomy and tweak the pose while being defined traced over what came before. it’s a musician improvising new melodies and chords while playing an old standard.

the outline is the prototype, the test run. it’s a route from A (the hook) to B (the payoff), but it’s just one route through the landscape. it lets you get familiar with the terrain, spot some of the landmarks and hazards, but it’s a birds eye view; when you’re traveling on foot, you’re going to have to diverge, and you’re going to stop and smell the flowers.

the embellishments that define what HT really is are nonetheless the result of applying these principles at the lower level, though.

the outline called for an AS glyph to flash on a random drone’s screen just because. wouldn’t it be more of a payoff if it’s hidden in the catacombs beneath a church the squad has to battle to penetrate? and if there’s a whole spooky solver cult, that definitely suggests other plot developments, and this is how things compound and snarl

this post has gotten long. maybe, just maybe, i managed to convey a thing or two about how i plot stories.

thank you for the ask and for sitting through all that; i hope it wasn’t too long and rambling.