#I’m trying to eat healthy!! let
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Rosh Hashanah is next week. It's always been my favorite holiday, and every year I prepare for it and look forward to it. But this year I've been dreading it, and until this past week I couldn't figure out why.
I haven't been to synagogue much in the past year. I've gone a handful of times, but much less than any other year since graduating college. And I thought of going, my therapist tried to encourage me to go because she knows it often makes me feel better, but there was just this inner resistance that I couldn't figure out and wasn't ready to look at closely enough to decipher anyway. And then as the High Holy Days got closer and closer I started to notice that I was really dreading them, which is not how I usually feel. And so I brought it up in therapy on Tuesday, and came to some really important realizations.
I've been doing a lot of very serious grief work and trauma work this fall. My most serious trauma anniversaries are almost all in the fall, and it's a season of great grief and usually highly elevated symptoms for me. My first serious psychotic break was in the fall, four of my five hospitalizations have been in the fall, etc. Until this year I spent every autumn of the past decade pretty severely psychotic. I could not face the trauma and grief that this time of year brings up for me, I could not process those feelings and memories without losing my mind in defense so that I wouldn't have to truly experience them. I've always known this, and for a few years have tried very hard to truly experience my grief and not retreat into psychosis, but I never managed it until this year.
This autumn has been different. I've still struggled with psychosis much more than in the summer, I still have to fight it most days. But I'm winning most of those fights. And I'm grieving. I'm mourning, I'm crying, I'm sitting with my feelings for as long as I can bear and then distracting myself from them when they get too much instead of retreating into symptoms most of the time. I'm genuinely experiencing the thoughts and feelings I need to be experiencing. I'm reading about death, about grief, about loss, I'm talking about these things in therapy. It's often incredibly painful, though sometimes it is simply a peaceful kind of sorrow. I'm getting in touch with a lot of the feelings I've found so difficult to face from some of the hardest times of my life, and I'm experiencing some of them again.
And some of those feelings that I was really quite blindsided by and that I've been largely repressing for 15 years are incredibly complicated feelings about G-d. When I was 11 years old I was just like any other religious and traumatized kid: I prayed to G-d to fix it. I did that thing kids do, I tried to make bargains with Him. "Dear G-d, if I clean my room will You save my mommy? If I'm perfect, will You fix my family?" You know. Things like that.
I was desperate for anything, anyone to save me. I talk sometimes about the particular traumas of that year, about my brother's birth, about my mother's hospitalizations, about her suicide attempt. But I have no words to express the year as a whole, except to say that terrible thing after terrible thing after terrible thing happened, and throughout all of it I was neglected and left at sea. My mom was sick, my dad was trying to keep his head above water, no one was there for me. So I tried to turn to G-d. And when He wasn't there for me either, I felt incredibly abandoned and betrayed, both by Him but also because I was taking my feelings about my family neglecting me during severe trauma and putting them onto Him. It's hard for me to express the levels of hurt and rage I felt at G-d during that time period.
And then my memory cuts out. I remember approximately nothing from shortly after my twelfth birthday (in June) until November over a year later. I have a handful of memories of specific events that took place at school or at camp, but absolutely zero memories of my internal feelings or anything that ever took place at home during seventh grade. It's just. Gone. Always has been, probably always will be.
The next significant things I remember in terms of my relationship to G-d and my religion are all about Hebrew High School, which I loved (I got to start it early bc I was being bullied in normal Hebrew School), and preparing for my Bat Mitzvah, which I also loved. My memory goes from intense feelings of betrayal and abandonment and agony to instantaneously a relatively low conflict, positive relationship with G-d and Judaism (with Jewish-appropriate amounts of questioning of course and moments of anger, but no true rage and despair like I once felt). And I stayed in that space of Judaism-as-comfort-with-minimal-internal-conflict for the next 10+ years. I have no idea how that transition happened, but it certainly didn't occur because I slowly and naturally dealt with all of my complicated feelings and embraced religion after processing.
And then this year, well. I guess the processing came due. I'd like to be very very clear that being Jewish always has been and always will be incredibly important to me, and nothing about any of this changes that. I am struggling, though. I'm re-experiencing a lot of those childhood feelings of betrayal and abandonment and confusion and rage. And not being ready to face those feelings is why I've been subconsciously avoiding synagogue for the past year, and is why I've been dreading the holidays. At least now I'm aware of what's happening, so that's a step in the right direction. And in the long term this is a good and important step not only in my trauma recovery but in my relationship with Judaism and with G-d; I can't have as deep of a relationship as I want without this kind of struggle. To quote my therapist, "your relationship with Judaism is too important to you to be easy." Thankfully in Judaism struggling like this is not only allowed but expected. But it is a struggle, right now. A painful one.
I leave you all with a song I've been listening to on repeat that is helping me confront and think about a lot of these feelings:
#my post#text post#idk yet what i'm doing for Rosh Hashanah but i honestly might not go to shul this year#i think i might need to do some more personal reflection and stuff before it would be helpful and healthy for me to go back#i'll definitely do something if only eat some apples or something#but i need to let these feelings have space and while i could try to let them have space at services#there are some additional pieces of what i'm struggling with that have to do with Jewish communities i've been a part of#that make me think it might be better to wait a year for some things#anyway#idk just been thinking a lot about this stuff and wanted to write a post#trauma cw#religion cw#i have no clue how else to tag this sorry#Spotify#also like. this post is obviously super simplified#I am not going to post all of my incredibly complicated thoughts and feelings about my religion on tumblr#this is just. a piece of what I’m dealing with rn
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
There’s a special place in hell for Adults who push diet culture onto very young kids.
#my aunt really just shamed my very active 7 year old cousin because he wanted more eggs#and said more then 2 eggs is very dangerous be for fucking real#and saying she’s read that#and saying that in front of me when she knows I’m still struggling with an ED#he’s a healthy child who is actually very picky if he wants food let him#it’s not like that isn’t a massive source of protein that most of the world eats#she literally wouldn’t even let him have more cheese bc ‘ bad’ type of fat#growing kids need a lot of food#anyway I talk to him about how there’s no good or bad food just foods with more nutrients#and I try to explain he is obsessed with ‘ junk’ bc you don’t ever let him have any treats
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
🌱
#I should go to sleep because it’s nearly two am and very depressed thoughts you have late at night or early in the morning are not trust#worthy that being said I can’t sleep because I keep thinking how I don’t want to have to do any of this anymore#I don’t want crappy jobs where I’m crying over being asked to do more than one person physically has the capacity to do#I don’t want to have to spend so much time trying to get my life together when I let things slip through the cracks because I’m too sad or#tired to do anything about it#im tired of being so bone deep exhausted of having no friends really in my actual real life im tired of having to think of what are healthy#things to eat and then buy them and meal prep them I’m tired of never knowing what the fuck I’m doing and feeling like I will never have a#clue what I’m doing with my life and that I’m a complete failure#im tired of being depressed and alone and just having to tell myself to carry on and it has to get better at some point#I would rather I just drift off in my sleep and never wake up#im not going to do anything about that but I am just feeling a little hopeless#im just venting#I’ll get over it#eventually I guess
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me, opening up a packet of the stuff the vet gave me: “I hope this probiotic powder doesn’t put my cat off his food. Can’t really help with his digestion issues if he doesn’t eat it”
I spill some because my hands can have problems with stability
My cat: *licks the stuff up like a kid who just discovered what powdered sugar was*
Me: “is this flavored?”
My cat: begs me for more powder and momentarily forgets his food
Me: “this has to be flavored”
#emma posts#sometimes him getting excited about new flavors for kitties is good#but other times his love of flavor exploration will lead him to eating a food he’s allergic to#and I can’t figure out what he’s reacting to right away because he just keeps eating the thing that makes his tummy hurt#at least I stop using things I realize cause allergic reactions#you’d think a little guy who doesn’t even know what allergies are would be even more off put by them#he’s so finicky about so many random things! but he loves new foods. especially more expensive ones. and that food was more expensive#this time he is getting a food for upset hairball tummies and has been enjoying it more than his old stuff too#I just hope that him traveling back and forth between his old food at my parents house and new food here causes problems#his old man tummy is getting more sensitive than it used to be and he’s getting a different food now… hopefully. and vitamins while he gets#these probiotics to hopefully make the change easier. I don’t want to jinx it but so far it seems to be really helpful#he hasn’t even gotten one hairball since starting the hairball food! and he loves his new vitamin treats#hopefully he’ll keep doing well with the old kitty vitamin treats#I want him to get his old man vitamins#even if he’s super healthy for his age. it’s good not to get worse!#i would know. as someone who dealt with not eating enough from medication side effects#I’m better now though! I switched meds and take more vitamins just in case#anyway. eating food is important for humans and kitties if you can get it it’s important!#and if your cat doesn’t get or absorb enough food they could get permanent damage to their bodies. never let your cat go more than three#days without food! try to make sure that they eat at least every 12 hours#they might not need as much food as you. but they can get a lot sicker a lot faster than humans usually do#I can ramble on and on about cat health though 😅 I just love my little guy so much#combo of better food formulated for hairballs and not giving him an allergic reaction with the probiotics too seems to be helping a lot#i knew cheap food wasn’t usually quite as good as the slightly more expensive stuff but holy shit. since moving out and now switching food#it’s been going so well for him! maybe I should ask my family to change the other cats food. I just hope that an extra 9$ a bag isn’t#off putting for them. i feel like fewer hairballs should be a great selling point
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
The worst part of this all is that I’m going through it while I’m still on my period
#actively bleeding. exhausted. needing much more food than normal to make up for what I’m losing#and it’s exactly in this moment that my body decided it was going to starve itself#not let me get up no matter how much I try to convince myself I need to eat#make me feel sick at the mere mention of eating anything#refuse to give me normal hunger responses so I forget until I’m too tired to rectify the situation#and my mind is right there with it#yelling at me in my own voice. I’d understand if it was mom’s or dad’s or grandma’s but it’s not. I was always my own worst enemy#see. a part of me relishes in what’s happening#I love feeling how my stomach is just the tiniest bit flatter when I haven’t eaten in a while#I know I shouldn’t think that. it’s not healthy. starving yourself is not the way to lose weight#there is no reliable way to lose weight. diet culture is a lie and a plague#of course I know all that#but if my own voice in my head is telling me that maybe if I keep going I’ll finally become thin and pretty like I always wanted to be#how can I not listen to it?#……#I hate this#ever since I was little I never felt like I was in control of myself#it was always like I was a spectator watching a cut scene in a video game#my body and mind are two seperate beings that are very keen on ruining our life#and I’m neither of them#I’m some secret third thing who can’t control them#I don’t know how to explain it#maybe I’m not making any sense and am actually just delusional. trying to explain my own self destructive behaviours#by pretending I have nothing to do with them#and what’s the point of it all anyway? I’m still not going to go eat#even thinking about it is making me nauseous#but not eating makes it worse and robs me of the ability to sleep and of all energy to do things I might enjoy#it’s an awful. vicious cycle. one I don’t know how to break when every fiver of my being is vehemently against any attempts at fixing it#*fiber. whatever#I want to eat. my mind and body don’t
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
btw I have given up completely on trying to eat healthy to lose weight. at this point I’m just trying to sustain my body through this difficult time
#Let me relax….. I will eat healthy later……#I wonder how much weight I’ve gained lol. I’m so fat. Neither here nor there but I was trying to lose some for health purposes
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love switching between’i should be anorexic again’ and ‘i need to gain 30 pounds’ in the span of 5 minutes
#i have no clue what i look like#i know logically i’m probably malnourished even though im a ‘healthy weight’#i still feel unhealthy#im rlly trying to not let how i look affect how i eat#and it doesn’t really anymore#i don’t starve myself bc i think im fat now i starve myself bc im tired and overwhelmed and cooking takes sm work even though i love it#and doordash is too expensive to be used more than twice a month
0 notes
Text
Help I was trying to make tuna mayo and I knocked over everything in the kitchen and I ✨don’t even have tuna✨
#could’ve sworn i had some of the good shit (john west canned tuna steak no-drain in brine)#but i in fact have nothing. rip#not gonna lie i’m just high and have a craving. so i have now knocked over every tupperware box i own#i should really go to bed but girl i’m hungryyyyyy#and i’ve already eaten a lot today. and i know none of the healthy stuff i have will hit right#what am i supposed to eat? toast? it won’t HIT#…it might actually. let me try#personal
0 notes
Text
Love and Obsession: The Tim Drake Way
part 2
Everyone in the Batfamily knows Tim Drake has… issues with boundaries. They’ve spent years trying to teach him what’s appropriate and what’s—well—deeply unsettling and completely invasive. To be fair, he’s learned. Mostly. He doesn’t stalk his family anymore (much), and he no longer pulls up files on every single person they talk to (okay, maybe just sometimes). But it’s progress.
But then Tim starts dating Danny Fenton. And, oh boy, a few screws come loose.
It starts small, as always. Just little things. Tim’s a detective, after all—background checks are second nature. Danny’s living in Gotham, and Gotham isn’t safe. So, really, what’s the harm in knowing a little more about Danny’s friends? And his professors? And maybe also his classmates? It’s just standard protocol. Okay?
“Tim, you’ve run a full dossier on my entire biology class?” Danny asks one day, laughing as he flips through a file on the coffee table. Tim shrugs. “What if one of them is dangerous?” “Pretty sure the most dangerous thing in that class is the midterm.”
Danny doesn’t think much of it. He’s a little flattered, even. Tim’s protective. It’s sweet.
But Tim’s mind doesn’t stop there. Danny’s too handsome. Too charming. What if someone tries to hurt him? What if someone tries to take him away? It’s not obsessive—it’s just concern. So, a tracker on Danny’s phone? Necessary. Cameras in his apartment? Standard. Monitoring his sleeping patterns and hangout spots? Logical.
Tim tells himself it’s love. And maybe a little insecurity.
“You have a tracker on his phone?” Dick asks, trying not to sound alarmed. Tim nods, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Of course. What if something happens to him?” “And the cameras?” “Safety.” “The background checks on his professors?” “Gotham U isn’t exactly known for its stellar staff, Dick.”
It doesn’t stop there. Tim knows everything. Danny’s eating habits, his favorite places to go when he’s stressed, his childhood allergies. Tim’s mapped out Danny’s entire life. He knows about Danny’s ghost powers too—of course he does. He’s Tim Drake. The moment he realized Danny was Phantom, it just… clicked.
Danny being half-ghost? That’s just one more reason to worry. Tim’s up late at night, watching for any signs of ectoplasmic interference. He tracks the energy spikes. He monitors Danny’s fights.
He doesn’t think Danny knows. He’s terrified of what will happen if he finds out.
But then he does.
One evening, Danny walks into Tim’s apartment and casually drops a folder on the table. Tim’s heart stops.
“What’s this?” Danny asks, raising an eyebrow. Tim swallows hard. “I… it’s just…” “You’ve been tracking me?” Danny opens the file, glancing through pages of surveillance reports, background checks, even analysis of his ectoplasmic energy. Tim feels like his world is about to shatter.
“I… I can explain,” Tim says, his voice tight. “I’m just… worried about you. You’re in danger all the time, and I—” Danny walks over, cupping Tim’s face in his hands. Tim braces for the worst.
But Danny just smiles. “Can I put a tracker on you too?”
Tim blinks. “What?” Danny kisses his cheek. “If you’re watching my back, it’s only fair I watch yours. I need to make sure you’re safe too.”
Tim stares at him, speechless. Danny doesn’t look scared. Or angry. He looks… fond. Like Tim’s obsessive tendencies aren’t a problem at all.
“I’ve never had someone care about me this much,” Danny says softly. “I trust you with my life, Tim. This? This just proves how serious you are.”
Tim thinks he’s just fallen deeper in love.
-------------------
The Batfamily? They’re worried.
Jason corners Tim in the cave. “Okay, so let me get this straight. You’ve got cameras in his apartment. You’ve mapped out his entire life. You’ve got a tracker on him and a heartbeat monitor. And he’s… fine with it?” Tim nods, a dreamy smile on his face. “Yeah. He even wants to put a tracker on me.” “That’s not… healthy, Tim,” Dick says carefully. “That’s—” “It’s mutual,” Tim interrupts. “We’re protecting each other.”
Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “Tim, this isn’t how relationships are supposed to work.” Tim shrugs. “It’s how ours works.”
Damian watches the whole thing with narrowed eyes. “This is deeply unsettling,” he mutters.
They try to talk to Danny. Intervention style. They invite him over, sit him down, and gently (or not so gently) try to explain that Tim’s behavior isn’t normal.
Danny just laughs. “You guys do know I’m half-ghost, right?” “That doesn’t mean—” Dick starts. “I spent my entire life being hunted by ghost hunters. I’ve had worse invasions of privacy.” Danny smiles. “Tim cares. He keeps me safe. That’s all I need.”
The bats don't quite know what to say.
-------------------
Tim and Danny, two slightly unhinged souls who think mutual surveillance is the ultimate act of love.
The bats? They’re just trying to keep up.
(“At least they’re happy?” Barbara offers weakly. Bruce sighs. “For now.”)
Gotham’s version of love was never going to be normal. But this? This is a whole new level.
#tim drake#danny phantom#danny fenton#brain dead#dead tired#dc x dp#batfam#tim drake is a stalker#we've completely watered down tim's stalking tendencies into /just/ stalking when he also learned everything there was to learn about batma#this guy is literally obsessed with knowing everything about everyone(even if it's to have the upper hand) and we completely disregard it#give me an invasive tim drake who doesn't know the first thing about boundaries bcs he's so used to researching everything about someone#before meeting them#also give me a danny fenton who has never truly felt safe or protected with anyone especially after he died in his own parents lab#while his friends watched with no supervision or lab precautions#tim learning everything about him for his own safety and protective(obsessive) tendencies makes him feel safe with tim#bcs it proves to him that tim is always watching his every step to make sure he's safe no matter where in the world either of them are#tim is always watching out for him#and if that isn't the most romantic thing someone could do for him then romance is dead#the bats are very concerned for them#tim and danny match each other's freak
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about how sam started running around s7 just so that he could have some sort of control over his own body and i think i’m gonna be sick
#it was his families and then he got out#and then learned that John checked up on him at Stanford#and then he died but dean sold his soul to get him back in his body#and then it was lucifers and then it didn’t have a soul#and when he choked down his soul again everything flooded back#and just to keep his head on straight he’d run#and he’d eat healthy and try yoga and treat his body like a temple#because he lives in it#and he desperately just wants it to belong to him#anyway i’m sad#/just this once let me be my own#/myself up on the pyre
1 note
·
View note
Text
SNAPING AT THEIR KIDS — Jujutsu Kaisen
( CW ) f!reader, children, tantrums, lots of tears
FEATURING: Nanami Kento, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo
Authors note: the way Choso’s son refuses to eat dinner when you all sit down, he just huffs and puffs and you eventually have to give in and buy him Taco Bell, so he doesn’t go to sleep on an empty stomach. And Gojo’s son knew what he was doing when he hit him hehe.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/34e79684faa313d830a8064b7a9ed7a9/750605b457c4fb21-07/s540x810/2fc0c43b7fa105e497c77a9d517cd6a883f2f0b2.jpg)
☾GOJO SATORU
“Daddy, I wanna go to the park.” His twins yell for what feels like the thousandth time today. Satoru whines, throwing his arm over his eyes when one of the twins points flashlights in his face. “I said no, Daddy doesn’t feel well today—we can play in your room, how about we build a fort?” Satoru answers again—just like he did the last time and the time before and the time before that. “No Daddy! Wanna go to ‘park!” His girl screams before his son hits him square in the dick with the flashlight. He jumps up, howling in pain. “I said not today!” He snaps and instantly regrets it when he hears the venom in his voice. How holds his throbbing dick before looking up and his babies. They both stare at him with frowns. His little girl looks about ready to start sobbing and his son looks like he wants to hit him with the flashlight again. “Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell,” He apologizes, flinching back when little tears slip out their eyes. “I’m sorry, I'm sorry, don’t cry. How ‘bout we go to the park okay? Daddy didn’t mean to yell, oh don’t cry, baby.” He whispers, reaching out with big hands to grab them and pull them into his lap. “Park?” “Yep, park.” They look at each other before breaking out in a scream.
☾GETO SUGURU
“Daddy?” His daughter pulls the end of his long hair. “I'm busy, baby.” He answers as he scrolls through his emails on his work computer. “Wanna see.” She whines, trying to climb onto her father’s lap. She just slides off, unable to pull her body weight up with small arms. “In a little bit, go play with Mommy baby,” he says, trying to convince his daughter who just huffs and holds her arms up to him. “I wanna work too!” She whines and Suguru grumbles before lifting her onto his lap. He sets her in the nook of her arm. She snuggles into Suguru's content for a few minutes. “My turn Daddy.” She stands up on his lap and reaches over to touch the computer. She fails, instead pushing the cup of water he had been slipping on. The cup tilts over and pours all over Suguru’s computer. “Dammit D/n!” He growls out and though he doesn't yell his deep voice is enough to cause his daughter to jump in fear. “Sorry, ’m sorry.” She cries, trying to crawl out of her father's lap. “Shit--It’s alright baby. Hey, it’s okay sweet girl.” “I didn’t mean to.” “I know. Let’s clean up our mess, okay?” He kisses his daughter's forehead and carries her to grab a towel.
☾CHOSO KAMO
“I don’t want your ugly food.” His son screams at him. “Well, you aren’t getting Fast food.” He mutters. “I want Taco Bell!” He screams, but Choso just ignores him and continues to stir the food. “I said I want Taco Bell!” He throws himself on the floor, kicking and rolling around Choso’s legs. Choso tries to ignore the temper tantrum his son is throwing but after several minutes it starts to get unbearable. Anything he says just goes in one ear and out the other. “No Fast food!” He eventually snaps. S/n immediately stops rolling on the floor when he hears his father yell. Choso turns the stove on low before walking over and crouching in front of his son. “Daddy doesn’t wanna yell baby, but you gotta understand that you can’t get Fast food every day. It’s not healthy for you alright?” He explains to his son. His son just glares up at him. Choso smiles back which prompts the little boy to grumble how stupid and ugly his father looks. When they eventually come to an understanding, he picks him up and lets him help him cook.
☾NANAMI KENTO
Nanami’s loud voice echoes through the living room, and you race to the living room in worry. Once you turn the corner you see your daughter looking at him with wide tear-filled eyes. She’s never seen this side of her dad; you can’t think of one time her dad raised his voice at her. “Kento? What’s going on?” You glare at him as your daughter comes running into you. You hold her little body to you. Kento stands there with a shocked expression on his face. He didn’t mean to snap at his little girl, he just had a bad day at the office and brought that attitude home. “Daddy’s mean.” Your daughter cries out, wrapping her small arms tighter around your legs. “Princess,” Kento whispers as he cautiously walks towards you two. “I didn’t mean to yell at you princess, I’m so sorry.” He chokes out, crouching down to her level. When she hears the familiar softness in her dad’s voice, she slowly peaks around you. Kento holds his arms open. She doesn’t hesitate and jumps into her father's arms. “s’ok I forgive you, Daddy.” She sniffles into his neck. Nanami squeezes her tightly, whispering out apologies on how he’ll never do it again. You can tell by the look in his eyes your daughter will be getting extra spoiled in the next few days.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/34e79684faa313d830a8064b7a9ed7a9/750605b457c4fb21-07/s540x810/2fc0c43b7fa105e497c77a9d517cd6a883f2f0b2.jpg)
#.satoruan writes#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#geto suguru#geto x reader#jjk#jjk geto#getou suguru x reader#jujutsu geto#geto x you#geto x y/n#satoru gojo#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jjk fluff#geto fluff#gojo fluff#jjk nanami#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jujutsu nanami#kento nanami#nanami x y/n#nanami x you#nanami fluff#choso x y/n#choso kamo
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just Like Him
Summary: When you argue with Jason, you slowly start seeing less of Jason Todd and more of Bruce Wayne. (Jason Todd x reader)
Word Count: 1.9K
Notes: I legit came back home from a night out and sat here editing this till 3am cause I refused to miss a post haha. A little bit shorter due to that and I'll do a second look over it later. Only warning for this is mentions of violence as usual for most of these, and that it hasn't been as edited cleanly as usual. Tomorrow's post might be really delayed too since I've got events tomorrow too. Anyways, enjoy my Lovelies~! xx
━━━━━━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You had loved Jason. You did love Jason.
You loved the boy who was too awkward to hold your hand when you went out in public, who left you notes at your door when he was too frustrated and too pent up to explain himself properly. You loved his habits, his quirks, the way that he cooked you food if he knew he was going to be out for a few days, silently leaving it in the fridge in the hopes you’d keep yourself healthy.
You also loved the dark sides of him, the nightmares he woke up to, skin sticky with sweat. You loved him even when his eyes were lost in the darkness, unable to tell who you were exactly but still seeking the comfort of your arms to shield him. You loved him even when he tensed outside in public, a sound, a smell, setting him off and making him clench onto your hand. His eyes were scared, but you didn’t mind bringing him back into reality, letting him know that you were here for him.
Yet on nights like these, you love for him faltered slightly. These were the nights that you couldn’t temper, the ones here he burned angrily and bit hard. He was currently pacing the kitchen, hands in his hair after a rough patrol.
“You just don’t understand.” He murmured over and over. “Maybe you just don’t get it. Maybe you just never will. How could you even try to?”
That hurt you, the way he talked like you weren’t even there. Like you weren’t in tears on the other side of the kitchen island. Like you hadn’t been having this argument for an hour how, sunset drinking its way into the dusk.
This was the part of Jason that hurt you, the coarse side that snarled and growled at you like he was an injured dog. The side that looked at you with those striking green eyes narrowed into slits, who spat words like he’d never seen you before.
“I do understand Jason.” I you sigh. “You want to protect this city, you want to change Gotham, but don’t you dare tell me what I know or don’t, when I’m asking you to just be home more. Is it really that hard to protect the city and go out for a date?” You sigh, heart beginning to falter under the scrutiny of his gaze. “I know you can’t always be there. Neither can I, but please,” you say, folding your arms across your chest. “Please be there for me.”
“I am.” He groans back out, making a flicker of irritation spark in you.
“Not you’re not.” You counter. “You leave dates, you leave dinners, you don’t come home some nights. No warning, no text, no notice.” You snap back. “Being there for me is being at those dinners, going on those dates, coming home, spending time in bed with me.” You snap. "it's not cold sheets, cold food, cold feet on date nights. Step up."
He throws his hands up in the air, teeth clenched. "Can't you see I'm trying to save the city? trying to stop it from eating itself from the inside? You know its corrupted, you know about the violence. Hell, you got shot." he snaps back. His fists are tightly clenched by his side, eyes burning into yours. You stare back at him defiantly, and it makes the frustration in him rise.
He knows he's not good at words, knows that he's rough around the edges. The voice in his head tells him that when he sits up at night, when he finally comes home. His head leans back against the headboard whole you sleep peacefully beside him, rolled completely onto your side. His fingers twist in the sheets, as it speaks at him, tells him that he's not good enough to be with you. That the city isn't safe enough, that he needs to make it safer. He wasn’t the safest out of Batman's gang of protegees. He had a hit list that had started while he was just a young teenager and continued to have names added every other week. He'd been shot at, stabbed, thrown into and off of buildings, and that was something he was fine with. that was his job, his burden.
But when you got shot, that's when life really had caught up with him. It was like he had been living his life in slow motion up until that point, until it all rushed forward like a wave on double speed. He hadn't erven been there, halfway across town with Nightwing on some stakeout when he got the call. Dick had let him go without a word, merely watching him speed away on his bike before calling in backup from the cave to replace him. He didn't care that Bruce would get mad at him for abandoning his post, he could go to hell. What he cared about was you, and the fact that he hadn't been able to protect you, been able to stop it from happening. He heard about it only when the hospital called him, informing him that you were being prepped for surgery immediately.
How bad was it? Was it just one shot? Did it go cleanly through? Where were you hit? What calibre? What make? What model? Where did it take place?
Those were all questions that Red Hood might have been allowed to ask if he had worn the mask and marched through the emergency department, but he couldn’t do that. If he did it would be a giant target on your back, associating you with his vigilante life in the most obvious way possible. Instead, he had to race through the doors breathless as Jason Todd, the worried boyfriend who had to be held back by security trying to get to your ward.
You had of course recovered, learnt to walk again on the leg that caught a stray bullet from a gang shoot out in Lower Gotham. It had been worryingly close to your artery, but you had pulled through. Jason couldn’t deny the fact that his status as a Wayne kid helped your care and the way the hospital aided your recovery. With a harsh word, Jason could have any of their licenses revoked.
That's why Jason did it. To make sure that the fear that gripped his heart that night never had the chance to wrangle him like that again. He'd fight night after night and come home with a string of broken and bloodied knuckles if it meant that you would be okay. It's all he can think about as he stares you down in the kitchen, watching your jaw twitch.
"Don't you dare use the fact that I got shot, against me." you seethe, hand coming up to point at him. "That wasn’t my fault, and it could have happened to anyone in the town, it's Gotham, Jason." you bite back, and he throws his hands up.
"That's exactly the problem! It's Gotham." he shouts. "You can get shot, or stabbed, or killed. Anyone can. one day you're here, the next you ain't. You really want to go out there, sweetheart? You got shot and you want to tell me not to clean the streets up? The sheets are cold? Well, they'd be a lot colder if you were dead." he spits back, and you are too stunned to say anything. You shake your head, a look of realisation coming over you.
"Oh my god," you breathe out. "you're just like Bruce. You’re no better."
That makes something in his freeze, halting all of his movements and shutting down his train of thought. You see it, see the way his bright green eyes widen and his head tilts slightly, making the white tuft in his hair flop over his eyes as you continue. "You're so obsessed with cleaning up the city. So obsessed with fighting out there that you can't give it up even for a second. You both can't. You criticize the man, tore him apart for his neglect just to do the exact same god damn thing.” Tears begin to prick your eyes in helplessness, lump building in your throat.
"You can’t see yourself out of that stupid helmet." you say, choking up as the tears clog your vision. "When was the last time that you read?" you ask, sniffling. "When was the last time you did a hobby, or rode your bike as a civilian? When's the last time we went on a date or held hands, or went to the park, or the library or anywhere?" you yell at him, hand coming to claw at your heart.
"When was the last time you were Jason?" you whisper softly. "Because right now, I feel like Jason Todd has died for a second time." you choke out. "Except this time, it wasn’t Joker who killed him."
You wipe your eyes with your sleeve while you leave him stunned, pushing past him to go into your bedroom. When the door slams harshly it snaps him out of the stupor he had found himself in, body swivelling on his heel immediately to follow you.
You didn't respond to his soft knocking at the door, or his calls. You didn’t accept the apologies he murmured into the wood, didn't bother to listen to his promises or ways that he swore he could make it better. It was only when he began knocking desperately, worrying building, that you swung it open violently.
Your face is a mess, sticky with tears and chin wet. Your breath comes out in small hiccups as you try to collect yourself, still mid sob as you shout at him. "Couch." you seethe, your puffy eyes glaring at him with a hurt filled dagger before the door slammed in his face. He sighed, forehead against the wood before pushing off the door frame with a click of his tongue. He plops down onto the living room couch with a groan, legs thrown over the side to try and accommodate for his size. He raises an arm to cover his eyes, other arm grabbing a couch cushion and bringing it to his chest.
"You're just like Bruce, no better." rattled around in his skull, making him chew at his lip. He didn’t like that. He didn’t like being compared to Bruce, even if he respected the man at times. He had come back, intending to be everything for others that Bruce had failed to be for him. Yet according to you, he was walking the same steps the man before him had traced.
Was he really no better than Bruce?
He groans and removes his arm from his eyes. He casts them over to the turned off TV, catching the sight of a much younger Robin peering back at him. With a smile the boy took off the domino mask and revealed the childish figure that was young Jason Todd. He raises a hand to his face as well, mirroring what he had just seen the reflection do. Except when he pulled his hand away, studying the digits instead of the TV screen, he could still see the remnants of the Hood he failed to leave at the door.
#messenger of babel#angstober 2024#day 25#fanfic#angstober24#angstober#angst#dc comics#dc fanfic#dc x reader#dc#jason todd x you#jason todd#jason todd angst#jason todd x reader#dc robin#red hood#red hood dc#red hood x reader angst#red hood x you#red hood angst#red hood x reader#dc jason todd#jason todd dc#dc red hood#jason peter todd#the red hood
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
There Wasn't Enough Left
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/31698cfb93c80aaccac99a6dd2dd0280/edbfda300c0aa6a4-2e/s540x810/872d13bb6082d33d10005553a606df2d98f9b3ce.jpg)
LADS Men reacting to you giving them more food and only taking a small portion for yourself. A/N: So clearly every conversation is starting with MC sitting the plates down at the table. [Requested by: Anon]
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0c44bbff7a7ec350e51c3700dc0f6ff2/edbfda300c0aa6a4-17/s540x810/3948a7c6df2d1d0b953244017f835b9ef897af63.jpg)
Zayne
MC: Here you go my love
Zayne: Thank you Darling......?
MC: Oh I forgot the drinks hold on
Zayne sits motionless with his eyes bouncing back and forth between his plate and yours
Zayne: ???
MC: There you go
Zayne: Is your heart not doing well?
MC: It feels fine ... why?
Zayne: I didn't put you on a diet ... did you get a second opinion?
MC: Im not on a diet
Zayne: Why do I have so much food and you don't?
MC: There wasn't enough left its okay though
Zayne: No I don't like this
He grabs your plate before you can stop him and starts scraping food off his plate onto yours until the plates looked even
Zayne: Eat well darling I need you healthy *Sets the plate back in front of MC*
MC: You need me healthy or do you just need me?
Zayne: *Smiles* Both
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/4d5ba5a1c674b7c352e4c9dcba900080/edbfda300c0aa6a4-f2/s540x810/093e70c7e515da70a0ecd6bb41284b7dea158c04.jpg)
Rafayel
MC: What would you like to drink?
Rafayel: Wait a damn minute
MC: Something wrong?
Rafayel: Are you blind? Why do I have a buffet in front of me and you have the plate of a three year old?
MC: There wasn't enough left but don't worry its fine ... let me go grab our drinks
Rafayel switches your plates quickly before you come back
MC: Raf! give me my plate this is yours!
You start trying to grab the plate, but he keeps blocking and shoving your hands away.
Rafayel: *Licks the food on his plate* Mine! I already licked it!
MC: Gross. Why are you like this?
Rafayel: Like what?
MC: Did my "plate for a three year old" turn you into a three year old?
Rafayel: If I say yes will you stop fighting me
MC: You're so sweet ... and unhinged
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2dabf0c4dda674cacdd16583d4a3607c/edbfda300c0aa6a4-69/s540x810/fdc739f5bcd709bd4056acdf94f233df53c0cbae.jpg)
Xavier
Xavier: I thought you said you were starving?
MC: I was just being dramatic
Xavier: Did you eat before coming home?
MC: Just enjoy your food Xav
Xavier: ..... I'm not hungry
MC: What? You took a twelve hour nap there's no way you're not hungry
Xavier: Im fine …. here you take this
Xavier reaches over setting his plate next to yours
Xavier: Seeing you eat well is more than enough for me
MC: Xav you need to eat
Xavier: I insist you take both
MC: If I put some of your food on my plate will you eat with me?
Xavier: As long as I’m the one putting the food on your plate
Sylus
Sylus: Is this one of your little jokes?
MC: What are you talking about?
Sylus: Since when do you take such little food for yourself?
MC: You're a big guy you need to eat more than me
Sylus: You've laid me out in the ring kitten what other excuse would you like to try
MC: There wasn't much so I gave you more … where's my thank you
Sylus: You'll get a proper thank you when I see an adequate amount of food in front of you
MC: This is a enough
Sylus uses his evol to tie your hands and switch your plates.
MC: Let me go!
Sylus: Thank you
MC: What?
Sylus: There's your thank you
MC: Sylus this is your plate
Sylus: Is it? I've already taken a bite from this plate I'd say this one is mine now
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads zayne#lads xavier#lads sylus#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#zayne love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey babess, i have quite the heartwarming request.
So imagine that wife reader is heavily and her water randomly breaks so ofc she gives birth with the help of shinobu(i love her so much) and other midwives ofc. So how would the hashias react during the late stages of pregnancy and birth??
Hear me outtt, what if preg reader was pregnant with twins(im a big family girl lol, i had to let that out). Stuff stuff
Hashira’s reactions during your pregnancy
You’re heavily pregnant. How will your husband react?
Note: I didn’t include the gender and names of the babies, so you can choose the genders and names yourself!
Pairing: Sanemi, Kyojuro, Gyomei, Giyu x fem!reader
Includes: Food cravings, mood swings, sickness, talking to the baby, birth and a little bonus scenario in the end (different for every hashira)
Words: 5.1k, enjoy!
Sanemi Shinazugawa
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/272d9b3db19c5f33aae200089df4c1de/d3f9bb4937683963-24/s540x810/7cfe0cbae3d07a5f41b468a328d8c9e106922c9b.jpg)
Food cravings
What? You want to eat ohagi again? Sure it’s Sanemi’s favourite food, but you’ve insisted on eating ohagi for every day the past week. The baby needs some vegetables, fruits, vitamins and whatever else. Just anything but ohagi!
He couldn’t even watch when you proceeded to devour sweet potatoes with a chocolate sauce. The worst part is that Sanemi is the main chef of this household and was forced to cook all kinds of monstrosities for you during your pregnancy. But he never said a word about it and just silently judged you for even asking him to bake a whole fish just so you can covered it in sliced fruits and chocolate sauce.
“Are ya sure you’re not poisoning our baby? Are ya really, really sure?”
Sometimes, Sanemi’ll try to sneak in healthy foods into your diet like one would to with a toddler. He’d chop the vegetables as small as possible and try to feed them to you in bits by bits by incorporating them into your favourite foods. You weirdly enough never noticed how your ohagis began to taste like carrots more and more.
“What? No. I’m making them like always. I.. just used the same knife for both carrots and the beans of the ohagi… Whatcha looking at me like that for??”
Mood swings
It’s very confusing to Sanemi how you can be happily munching on your snacks in one moment and then began crying about a dog wandering the streets, thinking someone abandoned him. He’s putting up with it, though. He’d would take you into his arms and try to explain to you that no, that dog is not living on the street and that it belongs to the nice old lady that lives just down the street. He gets a little nervous every time you get emotional when standing in the nursery and inspect all the prepared toys and clothes. Why are you crying so hard? Do you not want a baby? Or are you just this excited to have one?
He doesn’t get your mood swings but’ll try his best to give you reassurance and support. Even though Sanemi’ll be a little awkward and just hover around you in fear of triggering another random emotion in you.
“Hey, darling… how about we move to the bedroom? The nursey is makin’ ya emotional. You’re gonna loose control over ya bladder and I’m gonna be forced to clean after ya. Again.”
But most of the time, Sanemi’ll get soft when you get emotional over the baby stuff like this. Sometimes, he’ll sneak into the nursery during the nights he can’t sleep and rumage all the baby’s things. Sanemi would look through all the neatly folded baby clothes Giyu send over and the toys Tengen’s wives made themselves for the baby. He can’t help but get a little teary-eyed himself, leaning against the crib and looking down at the soft mattress below. He just can’t want to have a little baby in there.
“Fuck, don’t sneak up on me like that! A-And ‘m not cryin’, I-I’m just checkin’ on the crib. Y’know, if it looks stable and shit. It gotta handle our fatass baby.”
Talking to the baby
Sanemi loves to lay his head against your stomach and just listen to the baby’s heart beat. His hand would gently caress your stomach while mumbling against your skin.
“Whatcha doing in there, hm? Why are you kicking your mommy? You’re hurting her, y’know.”
It’s a weird sight, seeing a strong man like him baby talking to your stomach while having his cheek pressed up against your belly. He’d take at least one hour in his day just to talk to your baby and tell it aaaalll about your and his day.
“Your mom threw up onto our new carpet and that’s your fault, you know that, right? I’m gonna kick your ass for it one day. Maybe when you become a shitbag in your teenage years.”
Sickness
“In both sickness and in health,” and Sanemi meant that wholeheartedly after speaking those words out loud during your wedding. Even if that means sitting beside you in the middle of the night, holding your hair and patting your back while you throw your guts up. He’s sleepy, he’s tired, but he won’t return to back without you. If Sanemi has to, he’ll cook up some tea or soup for you to calm your stomach. He’d even break Shinobu’s door down for some herbs or medicine if it means making you feel better and cuddling you back to sleep with no worries.
“You’re okay, I’m here. Don’t hold back.”
If you’re throwing up for a while, Sanemi might fall asleep in the hunched over position while holding your hair behind your head, his hand still firmly resting on your shoulder in quiet support. He jumps back awake when you throw up violently again.
“Ugh, you good? Told you seaweed n’ cherries don’t go together…”
Birth
Sanemi wanted to complete one last mission before retiring for good. He noticed how his muscles were starting to soften up and the callouses in his hands began to disappear. Just one last mission, then he’ll become a full-time dad! He promised you it’ll be for just three nights and that Shinobu will be looking out for you while he’s gone. You two can talk about preparations, body changes and whatever you two always talk about.
He was close to tracking this scum demon down when he received a message from his crow about you going into labour. Sanemi wanted to go on a mission one time, just one time! Can’t you hold the baby in or something until he comes home? He knows that he has to behead this demon before coming home. That thing already did enough harm and he didn’t want to retire on a bad note by ditching his final mission. So, Sanemi proceeded to chase the demon down while steaming in anger. He wanted to go on a mission just ONE last time, damnit!!
“COME BACK HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! MY WIFE’S GIVIN’ BIRTH, WHILE I’M CHASING YOUR SORRY ASS!!”
Shinobu helped you through the whole process of giving birth. The contractions and labour lasted for almost half a day, and you managed to almost broke two of the three butterfly girl’s hand in an attempt to release some pain. You were supposed to hold Sanemi’s hand and almost break his bones while giving birth, not theirs! Shinobu kept reassuring you that Sanemi surely is already on his way! Surely. She had her soft smile on her face the whole time while you pushed and screamed through the pain, reassuring you and offering all kinds of ways to relieve pain during the whole process.
After Sanemi returned from his missions, he was staring at two babies in your arms. His eyes darted back in forth from the one to another. The baby on your left had beautiful white hair and was squirming around a lot, grabbing your robes and was seemingly already complaining about the lack of feeding you’re doing. The other baby had darker hair and was much calmer. It was asleep, resting against your chest.
His heart shattered in a million pieces after processing what just happened. In a good way, that is. He never commented on it, but Sanemi did notice that you were a little bigger for being pregnant with only one baby. He just brushed it off as being a bit bloated or the baby being really big, but never that it were two babies that were hogging all the food you were devouring. Sanemi was bawling his eyes out while holding both of his babies in his arms for the first time. They’re so tiny, so cute and chubby! How could anyone not love them? He was barely able to speak while trying to express how much he loves you and is so glad that you and the babies are fine. This is everything he had ever hoped for: a perfect wive, a family home and two kids. If only his other siblings were here to celebrate this moment with him. Perhaps he’ll allow Genya to visit every now and then.
“I-I- *hic* W-We need an-another- *hic* … the crib’s not b-big enough- f-for- *hic* gah, f-fuck!! *hic*
Bonus: A tight crib
You noticed how Sanemi insisted on putting the babies back to sleep every time they woke up during the night for anything. You usually fall back asleep and wake up in the mornings back in his arms, but tonight, you wanted to wait until he returns to bed to cuddle him. After the babies quieted down and your husband didn’t return, you dragged yourself out of bed and stepped into the nursery, only to find Sanemi laying inside the cramped crib, having the baby lay on one side and the other on the other. He was laying in an extremely uncomfortable position, with hid neck bend at an awkward angle and him laying in the crib with his legs dangling out over the edge. You couldn’t help but giggle a little, seeing your husband scarfing his own comfort for his babies.
“Nemi?…”
Your whispering made his eyes flutter open. His face contorting into a tired scowl.
“It’s the only way to put ‘em to sleep, not my fault they like me so much.”
Now, are the babies attached to their papa, or is Sanemi being very attached to them?
Kyojuro Rengoku
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c34641c4df9075a9269a34b22b243d8a/d3f9bb4937683963-5a/s540x810/85a38b0e679d7f6747eb17a10ba9e1ecacd8d504.jpg)
Food cravings
Whatever you’d like to eat, he’ll provide! Sometimes, if the combinations you come up with sound appetising enough, Kyojuro’ll even try some the foods alongside you! He will not judge you for craving weird foods during your pregnancies, but he is a little worried about your choices. You need to make sure that you eat enough nutrients for you and the baby! Kyojuro’ll try his best to cook up something nice for you, but he ends up buying take-out and feeding that to you instead. He’s scared he might burn something or accidentally poison you, so he’d rather leave food up to the chefs.
“I brought some tempura, some soup dumplings, ramen, udon noodles, mushed and baked sweet and regular potatoes. Oh! And some dessert… Mochi, dango and a slice of cake! Everything you ordered, my flame!”
Shinjuro, after finding out about your pregnancy, would offer to cook for you sometime. He used to make meals for Ruka while she was pregnant, so he thought he might make himself useful and help out. Kyojuro’s father actually vowed to stop with the drinking to make sure his grandkid doesn’t grow up around a drunk grandpa, so this is a first nice step for him. Besides, he feels guilty for being so terrible to Senjuro and Kyojuro.
His meals are surprisingly very well made and tasty. They soothe your nausea, lessen the swelling in the feet and help a lot with your headaches.
“Father, I never knew you could cook this good!” “Shut up and eat your plate.”
Mood swings
Kyojuro feels like he’s causing your mood swings sometimes. He feels guilty when you start crying over little things, like how your favourite tree is starting to change colours in the leaves, or just how much you missed your husband after him leaving for half an hour to get you dinner. He’s used to comforting Senjuro while the two grew up together, so he might know a thing about holding someone. Kyojuro would pull you closer and place lots of kisses on your head and top of your head, rubbing your shoulder with his warm hands. His warmth is very comforting to you, making you calm down a little.
“Are you feeling unwell? What made you so upset, love?”
He’ll try to cheer you up by talking about baby names. In his family, most of the names sound similar and end with an “juro”. Shinjuro, Senjuro, Kyojuro… how about Tojuro? Sounds nice, doesn’t it!? Or how about Kijuro? Or how about you combine your first letters with Juro? That sounds very fitting! And see, your tears are already gone!
“I’m not sure if we should think about girl’s names, my love! My family birthed sons for generations now! But we can write some down if you like, just in case.”
Sickness
Seeing you sick makes Kyojuro nervous, but he’ll stay beside you during your morning sicknesses and nausea. You kind of remind him of his mother, back when she was in the late stages of her sickness, that’s why he gets a little jumpy when you hunch over the toilet snd wretch your guts out. He’ll hold your hair and gently caress your back, silently hovering beside you.
To make sure you don’t have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to throw up, Kyojuro equipped your nightstand with a bowl you can throw up into anytime you felt nausea hitting you.
“I’ll make some tea for you once you get nauseous again, okay? My mother’s recipe.”
Talking to the baby
Kyojuro loves to talk to your stomach as if the baby is already out and able to talk back. He’d sit beside you in bed, gently caressing the side of your stomach while grinning brightly.
“What kind of hair will you have, hm? Like mine? Or like mom’s?”
Sometimes, he’ll try to convince the baby to let you sleep for once. If you can’t sleep, Kyojuro can’t sleep. He’d lay his head on your chest and sleepily mumble to the stomach while slowly rubbing your sides.
“You’re quite the active one, hm?.. mh.. How about we go to sleep together, okay? Be a good kid and give your mommy some rest…”
Birth
When your water first broke, Kyojuro thought the baby might’ve kicked your bladder or something, causing you to leak. But the horror on your face that followed soon after changed his mind in an instant. He sent out a crow to Shinobu, notifying her about your labour, but it might take a while until she arrives. In the meantime, your husband prepared all the things for a homebirth. You probably wont be able to reach the butterfly mansion in time to give birth there, but in the meantime, would you like water? Food? Sweets? A towel? Maybe not the last one because you’re able to hit him with that. You’re very angry about him impregnating you nine months ago while being in painful labour right now.
Shinobu surprisingly arrived very quickly and got right to work. Her soft voice and kind words as encouragement managed to calm you down as far as to not curse Kyojuro and all his ancestors out. Your anger directed at him actually helped you press the baby, so your husband happily sat there and held your hand while you were attempting to break it while redirecting your pain
Finally, after hours on hours of labour, Shinobu’s encouragement and Kyojuro’s hand turning blue from blood being cut off, you birthed two identical twins. Both had your husband’s flamboyant hair colour and prominent eyebrows. Your husband was trembling and crying after seeing them for the first time. His babies, his kids! And two of them?? In one go?? This couldn’t have gone any better. For around the next hour, while your babies were nursing on you, he kept thanking you for everything you ever did for him.
“I-I love you! I-I love y-you! Th-Thank you for marrying m-me, my fl-flame! Than-Thank you for giving me t-two babies! Thank y-you! T-Thank you!!”
Bonus: Tasty hair
Your babies are for some reason obsessed with your husband’s hair. Maybe it’s because of how bright his hair is or how nice it is to chew on it. You caught Kyojuro offering his baby his hair to hold and play around with, only for it to start pulling tightly on it. It hurts a little and he’s not quite sure how his baby got this strength out of nowhere, but he’s incredibly happy that his baby likes his hair so much!
But he also learned that the twins prefer their grandpa’s hair a little more over his. Shinjuro doesn’t appreciate it as much as Kyojuro is, though. He tolerates them pulling on his hair but doesn’t like it. At all. He’ll glare at his son until he finally takes his baby away from his damn hair! His scalp is already burning!
(But we all know that Shinjuro takes them back into his arms on purpose to tickle their stomachs and to let them pull on his hair as they please. They’re just too cute!)
“My flame, could you help me remove our child? This one seems particularly fascinated by the taste of my shampoo!”
Gyomei Himejima
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c106c0824995b506497b76df9d0705fa/d3f9bb4937683963-dd/s540x810/36f7c911f750b201d0d091f2732bdb58ed127127.jpg)
Food cravings
Gyomei will not always give into your odd cravings. Instead, he’ll try to redirect your cravings to tastier things. He’s worried that you don’t get enough nourishment for the baby and for yourself, so Gyomei’ll try to feed you healthy foods instead of eating the creations you came up with. Why do you even thought about eating pieces of clay you picked up from right next to the waterfall? You’re lucky Genya caught you before you managed to take a bite.
To be completely honest, Gyomei is incredibly worried that you’re eating things you aren’t supposed to eat while he’s not watching/listening.
“Love, what are you chewing?”
His calm and deep voice makes you stop munching on the raw onion and immediately put it back down onto the counter of the kitchen.
Gyomei insists on cooking for you, even if he’s blind. He’s surprisingly good with cooking and always manages to slip vegetables into the meals in the tastiest way possible! You somehow never notice and just are incredibly happy that he takes some time out of his day just to cook meals for you! Sometimes, Genya joins in when you two eat and just chats with you about your husband’s training and his big brother. He’s also very curious about your pregnancy and how you’re coming along. That boy is just as excited about your baby as your husband is! Genya even gifted you one of his best bonsai trees to keep in the nursery!
“Miss Himejima, are you still hungry? You can have my plate if you like, I’m going to meet up with Tanjiro to eat later in the city together anyway.”
Mood swings
Gyomei understands that your hormones are going a little crazy during your pregnancy, but he still gets a little surprised when your mood changes so suddenly. You get emotional mostly over Genya and how hard he’s training to make up with his brother. You cry everytime when you see him train hard under Gyomei. Your husband finds it kind how much empathy you’re feeling for that boy, but the poor boy can’t really concentrate when a crying pregnant lady watching him train. So, your husband suggested you to not watch them train as much anymore and instead do something else. As compensation, Gyomei promises you to tell you everything he and Genya have been doing that day.
Sometimes, when you get angry out of nowhere, Gyomei’ll just let you throw your little tantrum while listening you silently. After you finished, he might suggest exorcising you as a joke to lighten your mood, but his serious tone and unmoving expression made him look like he’s serious. Wich makes you cry.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m not going to exorcise you, I promise, my pearl. I would only do that in the extrem case.”
Sickness
Gyomei knows how to deal with sicknesses and nausea. Once you express feeling sick in any way, he’ll prepare a special herbal tea, open up all the windows for fresh air, feed you crackers and dry food, and of course, equip you with a bowl to vomit into just in case. He’ll sit with you in bed, your head laying on his thighs and his palm resting on your forehead, slowly petting your hair.
He’s mumbling quiet prayers for you and your baby, his deep and smooth voice calming your stomach slowly. Gyomei’d smile softly while having his eyes closed. You told him that his smile is always making you calm, so he’s trying to smile more often for you.
“How are you feeling? I can brew you another cup if you like, it’ll help you.”
Talking to the baby
Gyomei barely talks to the baby while you’re awake. He’ll sometimes lean down and mumble a couple of greetings and kind words before moving on with his day, but when you fall asleep at night, your husband likes to have one-on-one conversation with his child. He’d have his large palm resting on your belly, rubbing it up and down. Gyomei sometimes nuzzles into your sides and places a few kisses on the side before talking.
He’d be praying first, making sure that the baby is alright and’ll come healthy into the world. Then, he’d quietly talk about you. Your husband’ll talk about the things you like to do, about how emotional you get over Genya, how you pout everytime he leaves early in the mornings to train, how much he loves you and how you insisted on get even more toys, even though the toybox is already filled to the brim.
“We are both very excited to meet you… please be more kind to your mother until birth. Her bladder is not as strong during the pregnancy, so do not test it again.”
Birth
Gyomei was praying the whole time he was waiting outside the chambers of where you were currently yelling in pain. His eyes were closed in concentration and his palms rubbing together, his red pearly beads wrapped around his hands. He could hear every mumble of Shinobu to Aoi, every curse you’re throwing around and every bed creak after changing the position. Shinobu suggested that Gyomei should wait outside since he’s quite large and they need more space to move around you. You promised to him that you’ll be fine on your own. He has been crying and praying, crying and praying the whole time for you and the baby, until finally, everything got quiet. Your cries died down, but there wasn’t any signs of a baby crying either. Gyomei was silent, stopping his prayers for a moment.
Until finally, first one baby, then another started to cry out. Two? You were carrying two miracles in your stomach all this time? Shinobu permitted Gyomei back inside and allowed him to meet the babies for the first time. They felt so incredibly tiny in his arms, so so tiny and fragile… The babies are the most precious things, and he felt like the luckiest man in all of history, holding his babies in his arms. His voice was very shaky and more tears than usual were running down his face.
“My love. I thank you for all eternity for giving me this gift… thank you. I am incredibly grateful for everything you have ever done for me.”
Bonus: Who’s who?
Given that Gyomei’s blind, he has always relied on his senses to move through the world. But funnily to you, his senses fail to differentiate wich baby is who. Sometimes you catch your husband holding one of the babies, standing silently there, thinking about who exactly he’s holding right now.
“Need some help, dear?”
Your voice made him turn his head towards you, smiling slightly.
“Yes, I already fed one of our twins. I went to retrieve more milk and lost track of wich one I already fed.”
His voice sounded a little confused but also slightly amused. Stepping closer, you saw how the baby that was laying in the crib was uneasy and wiggling it’s legs around, while the one Gyomei was holding was calm and content. You figured that the squirmy one wasn’t fed yet and took the sleepy baby out of your husband’s arms, setting it back into the crib and taking out the other.
“Here, this one seems hungry, hm? Aren’t you?”
You sweet-talked the baby a little, tickling the little stomach, making it giggle and kick against your husband a little. Gyomei nodded quietly.
“Thank you. I have yet to figure out how to differentiate our twins properly.”
Giyu Tomioka
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6aa897b89c2dc06e0b3da4fd032816b3/d3f9bb4937683963-49/s540x810/799a1b9784151ad872ea9116aa9b3b36f278013c.jpg)
Food cravings
He’s a little confused out by your requests that keep getting weirder and weirder. Are you sure you want to eat that? If Giyu would eat that, he’d be throwing up. Oh wait, you actually are vomiting up regularly…
Giyu will give you everything you asked for, but hesitantly. Before placing the plate down, he’d eye you up and down, judging you heavily for what he’s about to dish you. His silent judging eyes are enough to second guess your life choices that made you ask your poor husband to cook mashed potatoes mixed in with strawberry yogurt and sakura mochi with fish filling. Perhaps you’ll take the miso soup instead.
Sometimes, he’ll get so worried he approached Shinobu by himself and asked if there’s any medication he can give to you to make you crave less weird things and eat more healthy. Sadly, there is nothing like that, so Giyu’ll eventually resolved to force feed you regular foods instead. He’ll sit you down and feed stir fried veggies, rice, eggs, soup, tea, dessert and whatnot. Anything else but the monstrosity you keep craving.
One time, he caught you mixing chocolate sauce and soup together in the middle of the night. Giyu was just standing in the doorframe, looking utterly defeated and distraught at your actions.
“I love you, but can you stop poisoning our baby? I want it coming out of you alive.”
Mood swings
Giyu feels like he’s the reason you feel upset so suddenly. Perhaps he should’ve cleaned the house more, or finally finish building that crib. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so angry so randomly. He still is quite surprised how quickly your emotions can change from happy to sobbing about the cuteness of the teddybear Giyu brought home for the baby. It’s confusing.
He’ll try to comfort you the best he can, but your husband already struggled to comfort you when you’re not pregnant and had real reasons to cry about, so how is Giyu supposed to comfort you when you sob over the rice being undercooked?
He’ll just awkwardly pull you into a side-hug, rubbing your shoulders gently.
“Do you want chocolate? I heard people eat chocolate when sad. Or do you just want a hug?”
Sickness
You throwing up and being sick is making Giyu sick. While you throw up into the toilet, your husband would hold your hair back while leaning over the sink, trying not to vomit himself. After your morning sickness passes, he still remains crouched over the sink for a moment longer before preparing a ginger tea for the both of you. He’ll lay in bed for a while, cuddling the blanket while sipping on his tea. He looks like a wet, depressed cat, sipping on his tea with a straw while lying on his stomach like that. He mostly recovers after finishing his tea, but sometimes, he gets really sick. You’ll be forced to take care of your nauseous husband who is supposed to be taking care of you right now! How is he supposed to handle watching you birth your child? How can he slay demons but is not able to watch you throw up?
“Love… can you get me another cup of ginger tea? I’m getting sick again…”
Talking to the baby
Giyu didn’t start talking to your baby until you encouraged him to do so. You told him that talking to the baby creates a bond before it’s even born! So, he’ll slowly start conversations with your belly. He’s not sweet-talking to your stomach, but instead awkwardly holding a conversation with it as if he’s speaking to an adult. Giyu’d sit across you on the bed, his hands propped on his thighs, leaning forward slightly.
“So… how is it like inside the womb? When do you want to come out and meet your mom and dad?”
Birth
Giyu was very panicked when you went into labor. He send out a crow to Shinobu immediately and began assembling something similar to a throne made out of towels and blankets. He forced you to sit down and make yourself comfortable while he waiting on the porch to see when the butterfly hashira is coming. His grip was to tight on the fence of the engawa, he accidentally shattered the wood.
He tried to watch you giving birth, but once he saw the head slowly press out of you, he couldn’t anymore. Giyu held your hand in support and let you squeeze as hard as you want, but he was turned away your lower body, facing you instead. Once he heard the baby’s cries fill the room, he snapped his head around in an instant.
Your husband almost fainted when he saw another baby slowly squeeze out of you. Shinobu handed Giyu the first baby, wich was already wrapped in a towel, so she could direct her attention back to the second baby. His head felt dizzy while holding his baby, not able to comprehend that he’s about to be the father of two. He only build one crib, there’s no room for another. Is he even capable of raising two kids? What if they outnumber and team up on him once they grow up? Now he has twice the chance to fail at parenting and become a bad father!
But once your husband held both babies, all his worries washed away. It was like he was in some sort of trance, watching the babies just sleep and squirm around a little. Giyu didn’t even notice how he started crying until his tears fell onto one of his baby’s forehead and started crying.
“Ahh… uhm. How do you calm a baby down? Do you just rock it? Uhm. Help me, please-“
Bonus: How are you supposed to know what they want?
You watch your husband stress out over why the baby is crying for so many times already, and they’re only two weeks old. You caught him talking to your baby multiple times, just straight up asking what they want. He’s slowly starting to get desperate and you can see it.
“You want food?… No? You wanna be held? Maybe… play? Also no? What do you want then?”
Somehow, only you could understand when and what your babies want. Giyu watches in awe as you immediately figure out that the baby wants to be held and fed, and how quickly they calm down afterwards. You’re just magical, truly.
“How do you know? What do you know that I don’t?”
💠
Phew, this took a while to write! Hope you enjoyed this anon! I tried to incorporate the requested things in this ask from another post of mine, but I might’ve forgotten some. Anyways, my posts haven’t gotten much traction lately, so I hope this one’ll do a little better! I’m looking forward to reading all the reposts and comments you leave, I read every single one of them! Just know that they make me smile like an idiot <3
Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!
Take care of yourselves <3
Note: Over 200 Notes!! Tysm!! <33
— I’d like to credit my cat as a co-author and professional purrer.
#💠 house of vry 💠#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#kny x reader#fluff#demon slayer hashira#sanemi x reader#sanemi x you#demon slayer sanemi#kyojuro x reader#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku kyoujurou x reader#rengoku x reader#gyomei x reader#gyomei x you#giyuu x reader#giyu x reader#sanemi x y/n#sanemi shinaguzawa#kny sanemi#kimetsu no yaiba sanemi#kyojuro x you#kyojuro x y/n#kny rengoku#rengoku kyojuro#gyomei x y/n#demon slayer gyomei#kny gyomei#gyomei himejima#giyuu x y/n
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
NEW YEAR, NEW ME
this is a collab w the it girl @prettieinpink !!
HABITS TO IMPLEMENT
Movement (yoga, running, Pilates, walking, gym, etc. Anything that allows you to move your body
Reflection- make a note of things you would like to improve on. This could be self-love, relationships,
STAY CONSISTENT
Consistency is key. Make sure to stick to your plan and keep working towards your goals every day. Even small steps are progress. Try to make your goal part of your daily routine.
HOW TO STAY CONSISTENT
SCHEDULE- Setting schedules helps really well with consistency. Make a schedule for the tasks you need to do daily or weekly to achieve your goals. This can help you make your goals a part of your routine, making it easier to stay consistent.
STAY ORGANIZED- Keep track of your tasks and goals. Use tools like calendars, to-do lists, or apps to help you stay organized and remember what you need to do.
DISCIPLINE YOURSELF- Sometimes, you won't feel like working towards your goals, and that's okay. The key is to maintain discipline and do the task anyway. Remember, consistency is about doing the task regularly, not just when you feel like it.
START SMALL- Don't overwhelm yourself with huge tasks. Start small and gradually increase your workload as you build consistency.
DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF- If you miss a day, don't beat yourself up. Instead, acknowledge that it happened, understand why, and move on. Consistency is about long-term progress, not perfection.
CREATE A PLAN
Once you know what your goals are, create a step-by-step plan on how to achieve them. Break down each goal into smaller, manageable tasks. This might involve creating a timeline, setting deadlines, or identifying resources or tools you might need.
LEAVE THINGS IN THE PAST
In 2023, I’m sure everyone has had ups and downs, but not letting them define you as a person is something that has to be done in order for you to become a new person.
HOW TO LEAVE THINGS IN THE PAST
ACCEPTANCE- Acknowledge the past and accept it as part of your life story. Understand that it's something that has shaped you but doesn't define you.
FORGIVENESS- Forgive yourself and others. Holding onto resentment only harms you. Letting go of grudges can bring a sense of peace and open up space for healthier relationships.
LEARN FROM IT- Every experience, good or bad, is an opportunity to learn. Reflect on these experiences and use them as stepping stones to better decisions in the future.
FOCUS ON THE PRESENT- The past is unchangeable, but the present is in your control. Concentrate on what you can do now to create a positive future.
SET NEW GOALS- Create new objectives for yourself. This gives you something to work towards and helps shift your focus from the past to the future.
PRACTISE MINDFULNESS- Mindfulness is about staying focused on the present moment. Practices like meditation can help you stay grounded and prevent you from dwelling on the past.
ADJUST YOUR PLAN AS NEEDED
It's okay if your initial plan doesn't work out exactly as you thought. Life happens, and it's important to be flexible and adapt your plan as needed. If you find that a certain approach isn't working, don't be afraid to try something different.
PRACTICE SELF CARE
Remember to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include things like getting enough sleep, eating healthy, exercising regularly, and taking time to relax and do things you enjoy. Don't forget that self-care is an important part of reaching your goals.
WAYS TO PRACTICE SELF CARE-
BALANCED DIET- There is no need to restrict yourself from foods but eating a healthy, balanced diet is crucial for maintaining physical health. Try to include plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains in your diet.
EXERCISE REGULARLY- Regular physical activity can help reduce stress, improve mood, and boost overall health. This doesn't necessarily mean going to the gym - it could be anything from a brisk walk to a yoga class
GET ENOUGH SLEEP- Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night. Establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine to improve sleep quality.
STAY HYDRATED- Drinking enough water each day is important for overall health. Try to aim for at least 8 glasses per day.
TAKE BREAKS- Make sure to take regular breaks throughout the day, especially if you're working or studying. This can help prevent burnout and improve productivity.
DO THINGS YOU ENJOY- Make time for hobbies or activities you enjoy. This could be anything from reading a book to playing a sport to painting.
CELEBRATE SMALL THINGS
Don't wait until you've reached your big goal to celebrate. Celebrate small wins along the way to keep your motivation high. This could be treating yourself to something you enjoy, or simply taking a moment to acknowledge your achievement.
REFLECTING ON THE PAST YEAR
Think about how the past year went. Did you learn anything? Did you reach new goals? If you don't the answers to these questions, I recommend further examining your year!!
#girlblogging#bloombabydoll#girlblog#pink pilates princess#girl blogger#it girl#self care#green juice girl#improving her#goal setting#self improvement blog#self improvement#becoming her#becoming the best version of yourself#new years
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Just some thoughts about Connie being your baby daddy who's still madly in love with you
Warnings: MDNI, NSFW, Backshots, unprotected sex, squirting, pull-out method.
◝꒰ ´ ˘ `♡ ꒱
Baby Daddy!Connie who calls you every day to check on your daughter… and to make sure you're still single.
Baby Daddy!Connie who randomly drops by with food for you guys and will invite himself to stay for dinner
Baby Daddy!Connie who’s always asking your daughter if you’ve got a boyfriend yet.
Baby Daddy!Connie still pays to get your hair and nails done even when you tell him he doesn’t have to do that anymore.
Baby Daddy!Connie takes you and your daughter out to eat every weekend and doesn’t correct the waiter when they call him your husband.
Baby Daddy!Connie is always there to read your baby girl a story and tuck in her to bed.
Baby Daddy!Connie is also always there to make sure you sleep well at night by stuffing you to the brim with his fat cock.
Baby Daddy!Connie reminds you that no matter how hard you try to move on, nobody will ever fuck you like he does.
“There we go princess, keep cumming on me just like that.” He solidifies the praise with a slap to your ass.
You whine at the sting and feel your eyes roll to the back of your head at the stimulation.
Connie spreads your ass cheeks open with his large palms and groans at the sight of his tan dick collecting your cream with each thrust.
“C-Connie, I’m gonna cum!” You announce urgently, thighs beginning to shake beyond your control as he fucks your rough spot.
“Is that right? You’re gonna cum baby? I’ll only let you finish if you say the magic words.” He halts his thrust and sheaths himself halfway inside of you.
You whimper and keep your mouth shut while shaking your head from side to side.
Every time he fucks you like this, he tries to get you to admit your feelings for him. You both know that you’re still in love, but you’re toxic when together.
He knows it’s not healthy, but the feeling of your sweet warm cunt sucking him in overpowers everything, he even promises to become a changed man if you take him back.
“C-Connie, no! It’s the same thing every time with us.” He rolls his eyes and slams his hips against yours in retaliation for your disobedience.
You mewl in pleasure at the speed and force of his fat tip hitting your cervix. The blunt force causes your orgasm to spill out all over your thighs and duvet.
He hums in contentment with the mess you’ve made, helping you through your orgasm with a few more pumps of his fat cock before pulling out and painting your ass with ropes of his white seed.
“C-Connie-”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it. Your body does the talking for you”
#aot x black reader#aot scenarios#aot smut#aot x reader#aot imagines#aot x female reader#connie x black reader#connie x reader smut#connie x reader#connie smut#aot x you#aot x y/n
1K notes
·
View notes