#I’m trying so hard to hold it in and work on myself as you work on yourself but day by day it gets more difficult and I break a little more
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logansargeantsbabymom · 22 hours ago
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Just A Prank
Franco Colapinto x Fem!reader
minor angst and a lot of fluff
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The day began like any other. You and Franco had both slept in, rare and cherished moments of rest squeezed between the constant hum of his career as a Formula 2 driver. Lately, every moment together felt extra special—his season was nearing its end, and with it, the uncertainty of what would come next loomed ever closer.
That morning, you both lounged on the sofa, Franco’s head resting comfortably in your lap as you absentmindedly ran your fingers through his messy dark hair. You could feel the quiet rhythm of his breathing, the warmth of his body leaning into yours. He seemed unusually relaxed, but you could also sense an underlying tension—like he was holding something back.
“Do you want to go out for a walk later?” you asked, trying to pull him out of his pensive silence.
Franco looked up at you, a glint of mischief in his eyes. “I’d rather stay like this for a bit longer,” he murmured, leaning up to steal a kiss. “Besides, who knows when I’ll get the chance to do this again.”
“Franco, don’t be so dramatic,” you chuckled, but his words stirred something inside you. You both knew the competitive nature of racing, the constant push to perform, and the slim chances of moving up to Formula 1. He’d been hoping, of course, but you could feel the weight of the uncertainty. It had been pressing on both of you, silent and unspoken.
As the day wore on, you found yourself nestled in the little routines that made life with Franco feel so complete: cooking breakfast together, debating which show to watch, laughing over silly inside jokes only the two of you understood. The hours passed, and you found comfort in his presence, a sense of home you never thought you’d find so soon in life.
Then, in the early afternoon, Franco’s phone rang. The sharp sound cut through the quiet, and he tensed immediately.
“Hold on, amor,” he said softly, his brow furrowing as he glanced at the screen. “It’s my boss… I need to take this.”
You watched him slip into the next room, closing the door behind him as he answered. You felt your heart rate pick up, your mind running through a million scenarios. You knew he’d been anxiously awaiting some news about next season, but he hadn’t said much—always downplaying it, always acting like it was no big deal. Yet you could tell it mattered to him more than he let on.
Minutes ticked by, each one dragging longer than the last. You strained to hear snippets of his voice, but it was muffled behind the door. Your stomach churned with nerves, and you hugged a pillow to your chest, wondering what could possibly be taking so long.
Finally, he emerged, his face unreadable. You searched his expression, looking for any hint of what he’d heard, but he just sighed, walking toward you with a faint smile.
“So…” he said, plopping down beside you, trying to look nonchalant. “Looks like next season… they’re, uh, bringing someone else in to replace me.”
The words landed like a stone in your chest. “What?” you whispered, wide-eyed with disbelief. “Franco, no—there’s no way! You’ve been amazing this season! Who would they possibly bring in that’s better than you?”
He shrugged, looking away, his face somber. “Apparently they want a different direction or something.”
Anger bubbled up inside you, your face heating as you struggled to keep your composure. “I’m sorry, but that’s insane. You’ve worked so hard, Franco. You don’t deserve this! It’s not fair!”
Franco bit his lip, struggling to contain a grin. You were too furious to notice.
“I’ll call them,” you continued, clenching your fists. “I’ll go down to the paddock myself if I have to and demand answers. They don’t realize what they’re giving up.”
“Y/N,” Franco interrupted softly, his voice trembling slightly with laughter, “it’s a joke.”
You froze, trying to process his words. “A… a joke?” you repeated, blinking in confusion.
He laughed, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you into his embrace, his whole body shaking with laughter. “Yes, cariño, a joke! They didn’t replace me. They actually… called me up. I’m going to F1.”
For a second, you couldn’t speak. Relief and shock hit you in equal measure, a tidal wave of emotions threatening to spill over. You blinked, your mind racing to catch up. “Wait, Franco, are you serious?”
He nodded, his eyes shining with excitement, a look you’d never seen before. “I am. I didn’t want to get my hopes up until I knew for sure. But yes… I’m moving up to Formula 1.”
“Franco!” you gasped, grabbing his face in your hands as the reality of it set in. Pride, love, and pure joy swelled in your heart, and you leaned in, pressing a fierce, grateful kiss to his lips. “I’m so, so proud of you.”
He grinned, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close. “So… do you still want to go to that fancy dinner? I think I could use a celebration.”
You didn’t need any more convincing. After changing into something special for the occasion, you spent the rest of the evening out together, every laugh and glance shared over the candlelit table a reminder of the journey you’d both been on together, and the exciting path that lay ahead. It felt surreal, like a dream you both dared not wake up from.
The restaurant was perfect—a quiet, candlelit spot with a warm ambiance, the kind of place where you felt like the world outside melted away. It was just you and Franco, tucked into a cozy booth with glasses of deep red wine glinting in the soft light. You both had eyes only for each other.
As you sat down, Franco took your hand, his fingers warm and familiar as they laced through yours. He began tracing soft, invisible circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, a simple gesture that sent gentle shivers up your spine. You caught yourself smiling, wondering if he realized just how much these little touches meant to you.
“Who are you most excited to see on the grid?” you asked, playfully narrowing your eyes at him. You knew he had a few favorite drivers, people he looked up to and couldn’t wait to work alongside. The mere thought of him among the ranks of those he admired filled you with pride.
“Ah, I can’t lie,” he said with a grin, leaning closer. “It has to be Alonso. To think that I’ll be racing alongside him… It still doesn’t feel real. And Verstappen, too—I’ve watched them since I was a kid, you know? To be up there with them, fighting for positions on the same track…” He shook his head, a little awestruck, and you could see the light in his eyes, that spark of a dream coming true.
You squeezed his hand, feeling his excitement wash over you like a wave. “It’s everything you’ve worked for, Franco. And you deserve it more than anyone.”
He gave you a bashful smile, a flicker of vulnerability in his expression. “I’d never have made it here without you, Y/N. You’re my biggest supporter, and that means the world to me.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” you murmured, brushing his cheek softly. “It’s just… I’m so happy to see you finally getting what you’ve dreamed of. It’s going to be incredible, Franco.”
The two of you settled into an easy rhythm of talking about the future—where he’d be traveling, who he’d meet, the circuits he was most excited to race on. He laughed as he recounted stories of watching past races as a kid, how he’d imagined himself on those tracks, feeling every turn and straight as if he was already there.
“To celebrate,” he began, leaning back with a mischievous smile, “we should travel somewhere just for us. No circuits, no media. Just the two of us, like old times.”
Your eyes lit up. “Like a real holiday?”
He nodded. “Exactly. We could go somewhere quiet, off the grid. A beach, maybe. Just us, some sunshine, no worries.”
“Let’s do it,” you said, a smile spreading across your face. “After your first race, we’ll sneak away and have our own little victory tour.”
Franco laughed, shaking his head. “It’s a date, then.” He raised his glass in a toast, and you clinked yours against his, both of you laughing, a gentle warmth in the air as the wine brought out the color in his cheeks.
As he sipped, he looked at you thoughtfully. “What about you, Y/N? This is going to be a huge change. Are you ready for all the travel, the media, the madness?”
You felt his fingers lace through yours a little tighter, a look of genuine concern crossing his face. You took a breath, holding his gaze. “Franco, I’ll follow you anywhere. This is your dream, and I want to be there to support you every step of the way. I’ll be right there, cheering you on, reminding you to eat, helping you decompress after every race. Whatever you need.”
For a moment, he just looked at you, his face softening, his eyes full of that love that had been there from the beginning. “I’m the luckiest guy alive, you know that?”
You opened your mouth to respond, but your voice caught as you noticed something over his shoulder. At a table just across the room, seated side by side with familiar expressions of pride and warmth, were your parents. They were dressed for the occasion, looking right at you with knowing smiles, raising their glasses in your direction.
“Wait… are those… my parents?” you whispered, glancing back at Franco, utterly bewildered. “What are they doing here?”
But when you turned back to him, Franco was no longer in his seat. Instead, he was down on one knee beside you, his warm hand still holding yours. In his other hand, he held a small, velvet ring box, his face a mixture of nervousness and undeniable love.
“Y/N,” he began, his voice soft yet steady. “From the moment I met you, I knew you were something special. You’re my best friend, my rock, and the reason I’ve been able to dream as big as I have. I can’t imagine facing any of life’s twists and turns without you by my side. I want to spend every lap of this life with you. Will you marry me?”
Tears welled up in your eyes, the enormity of the moment crashing over you. You could feel the warmth of his hand still holding yours, the love in his gaze steady and unwavering. You could only nod, whispering, “Yes, Franco. Yes, I’ll marry you.”
The restaurant broke into applause as he slid the ring onto your finger. He rose to his feet, pulling you close, and you laughed through your tears, burying your face in his shoulder as the joy of it all overflowed. It felt as though time had stopped, as though the two of you were the only people in the room.
When you pulled back, your parents were there, wrapping you in hugs, congratulating you both. You looked back at Franco, his eyes never leaving yours, that same quiet joy radiating from him.
In that moment, you knew that no matter where this life took you, every twist and turn would be worth it because you’d be facing them together.
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achilles-rage · 2 days ago
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good luck charm: bonus drabble
come and get your love
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summary: after a hard day, you do something to cheer evan up.
word count: 1.6k
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a/n: this might be stupid, but it was fun to write and i think it’s cute so sue me!! sigh, i miss good luck charm evan, and i'm sorry this took so long, i just couldn't think of any scenarios i really wanted to tell. if you have any drabble ideas for this series, i'm happy to hear them! enjoy<33
warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader
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You’re in the bedroom putting away some laundry when you hear the front door slam, and you jump in surprise, a frown making its way onto your face immediately. You know exactly what that door slam means; Evan has had a bad day. 
“Hi, baby.” you say, peeking your head over the railing and looking at him in the kitchen getting some water. You offer him a small smile when he looks up at you, and although he gives you a smile back, you can tell it’s fake even from up in the loft. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and you sigh sadly.
When you make it to the bottom of the stairs and walk towards him standing near the fridge, you wrap your arms around his neck and raise up onto your toes to give him a kiss. You feel the way he melts into your embrace, and it’s almost as if you can feel all of the stress radiating off of his body; it’s practically suffocating you, and you can’t even imagine how he feels.
“Rough day?” you ask, and he nods once, jaw clenched.
He’s been working extremely hard the past few weeks at the LAFD training academy, and while he comes home most days exhausted but content, there’s some days where he can get overwhelmed.
“You have no idea.” he tells you, his hands finding their way to your hips. You give him a sad smile, then pull him down for another kiss, hoping to get him to relax a little bit more.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He huffs at your question, thinking for a moment. He knows it would be better to get it out of his system, but he doesn’t want to dump it all on you. He knows how hard you’ve been working at your new job, and he doesn’t want you worrying about him as well.
“Hey, we don’t keep stuff in, that’s not what we do. You told me that.” you urge him softly when he doesn’t reply right away. He sighs, a smile fighting its way onto his face at your reminder. He nods after a moment, looking into your eyes and rubbing his thumb across your cheek.
“The physical stuff is fine, I’m passing everything easily. Just- The instructors say stuff; try to get into your head. It just got to me today.” he explains with a frown. You nod your head as he speaks, keeping your gaze locked with his. When he’s finished you tilt your head to the side, waiting for him to continue, but when he doesn’t, you raise your brows.
“Do you want to tell me what they said today that got you so worked up?” you urge. You don’t necessarily want to push him, but you know that he needs to talk it out, so you keep your eyes on him, as if pleading with him to tell you.
“We were doing this drill today, and there were a bunch of dummies. They gave them all back stories to make them feel real. I don’t know, I guess I just got caught up in it and in my mind they were real people, because they will be one day. I tried to go back into the building even when some of the other guys let the fire get out of hand because there were still a few dummies left in the building, and some guys had to hold me back.” he says in one big breath, and you follow along with furrowed brows, hoping he’ll continue.
“Well, they know I have you, and I guess they picked up on the fact that I was thinking about you the whole time; thinking about you in there. They were just saying stuff about me not being able to save you because of my mistakes, and about you having to plan my funeral because I got reckless on the job and I got myself killed.” he continues after a moment. He chews on the inside of his cheek as he waits for you to reply, and your eyes soften at his admission. 
You shake your head, bringing his head down to rest your foreheads against each other with your hand on the back of his neck. You keep him there for a moment in silence, trying to gather your thoughts before you reply.
“My love, your heart is what will make you a good firefighter. You care so much about people. And I have no doubt that you’d be able to save me if you had to, because you’re smart, and capable, and you love so deeply. And I’m not gonna lie, the thought of you getting hurt on the job has crossed my mind, but I know that you’re gonna fight to come home everyday, aren’t you?” He nods immediately, brows furrowing.
“Of course, I will. You know I will.” he replies, and you smile.
“Then I’m not too worried. Worry about actually finishing your training first, and then we’ll talk about you dying on the job, okay? Because I guarantee that when you start at an actual station, you’ll trust your team a lot more than the recruits. You can’t even imagine all the stories my dad has told me about the people he had to train with.” you tell him with a small laugh. You can still see a bit of hesitancy in his eyes as he tells you that you’re right, so you lead him to the couch and sit him down.
“I know exactly what you need.” you tell him when he sits down, then turn and grab your phone off the kitchen counter.
A small, real smile finally makes its way to his face when he sees you scrolling through your phone, knowing exactly what you’re about to do. When one of you has a bad day, the other always does something to make the other smile. He doesn’t even remember when or how this tradition started, but he does know that it always makes him smile regardless of how many times you do it.
His smile widens when he hears the beginning to Redbone’s Come and Get Your Love from the speaker connected to the tv, and you turn from your spot in the kitchen to face him.
You walk over to him as the beat starts, moving your shoulders in time with each step and fighting back a smile, and when the singing starts, you grab the tv remote off the coffee table and begin to lip sync into it.
He watches as you dance to the music with a wide smile, watching the way you move your hips in time with the music, and he can already feel himself start to feel better. He chuckles when you grab one of his hands and duck down to spin under his arm, and when you turn back to face him, you drop his hand and back up a few feet.
When the chorus starts, you continue lip syncing as you raise your hand in a “come here” motion, rolling your body in time with the beat. He gets up off the couch, keeping his eyes locked with yours, then grabs your hips, pulling you against him. 
You both sway to the music with smiles on your face. You can tell that he feels better, and you’re extremely grateful. You know how stressful the job can be, and you only hope you can help him through it as much as you can. 
The song finally ends, and he lifts you up with his hands going to the backs of your thighs, and you giggle as you wrap your legs around his waist.
“You always know what to do, princess.” he says with a grin, and all you can do is lean down to press your lips to his. 
“I know what else I can do to help you feel better.” you murmur against his lips. You feel his grip tightening on the back of your thighs, and he groans, pulling back from your lips to look at you with blown pupils.
“I’m keeping you in bed until tomorrow morning.” he teases, then sets you back down onto the ground. He then grabs your waist and turns you towards the stairs, then pushes you forward gently, but not before giving your ass a firm smack. You yelp at the contact, turning your head to look at him over your shoulder as he speaks.
“Go upstairs, princess. I’ll be right up.” 
“What are you doing?” you ask, but obey and walk towards the stairs.
“I’m ordering takeout, gonna see what I can do before it gets here.” he teases, and you laugh softly, rolling your eyes.
His eyes dart between your ass as you walk up the stairs, and his phone, and when he’s finally placed the order, he races up the stairs two at a time. 
He grins when he sees that you’re already naked, sprawled out on the bed and sitting up on your elbows waiting for him. He groans as he takes off his shirt, then unzips his pants, and then he’s on you in an instant, lips attaching to your neck.
“How could I do this without you, princess?” he whispers against your neck, goosebumps erupting on your skin as his hot breath hits your neck.
“You’d be lost without me.” you tease as you tilt your head back. You feel him grinding against you as he chuckles, and you lower your chin to meet his gaze when he leans back to look at you.
“Damn right, I would.”
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shrimpwritings · 3 days ago
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Arcane Season 2: Vi Character Analysis and Speculations
It’s been a while since I’ve done a character analysis, and what better way to write one after watching the first three episodes of the second season of Arcane? This is just my interpretation and analysis, so it might not be the same as other people’s, and that’s okay! There will be major spoilers ahead, though, so please read at your own risk!
We’re all anxious to see what’s to become of Vi in Act 2 of season 2, and rightfully so, considering how badly Caitlyn fucked up. Despite the pain we feel for Vi in that scene, we can still sympathize with Caitlyn as her grief is taking charge over her rational thinking, but at that moment, Vi looks as if her whole world has crumbled.
Despite the jokes people have made online posting pictures of Vi’s models from season 1 and season 2, namely during her pit fighter era, with texts all saying something along the lines of, “This is what a lesbian situationship does to someone.” In a way, they’re right, but it holds a deeper meaning than just that.
Vi grew up with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Vander always told her she would be held responsible for whatever happened to Mylo, Claggor, and Powder– or Jinx. The first, and probably only person that had told her that whatever happened to her sister wasn’t her burden to bear was Caitlyn, so her betrayal hits hard. Vi finally thinks she’s found someone that won’t hold her accountable for the atrocities her sister commits, someone she’s comfortable showing vulnerability to. 
Vi understands Powder died as soon as she was arrested, though it takes the entirety of season 1 to fully grasp that because, to her, time stopped. She was convinced she’d come back to that same little girl she abandoned against her will, but instead, she came back to an unstable person hellbent on chaos. Trying to live in a world that moved on was a difficult transition for her, only made easier by Caitlyn giving her a place to stay for a time, and running to her for comfort after her mother’s passing. She felt responsible for everything that happened, and it takes a soft moment between the two to make her truly understand that she doesn’t have to shoulder the burden of the casualties in the explosion.
Then the fight happens, and Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting Jinx and Isha. 
“I keep telling myself that you’re different, but you’re not. It’s her blood in your veins.” “Then why are you the one acting like her?!”
The butt of a gun to the gut– the exact same place where Sevika had stabbed her in season 1 to be exact– and a glare from Caitlyn are the last things Vi receives before being left completely alone. We can see the absolute devastation on her face as she’s left completely alone, in pain and hurting, as the one person who she felt saw her as more than Jinx’s big sister leave her. 
From what we know about Vi as a character, is that she knows that she, as a Zaunite, is frowned upon, and she will never be treated with respect. Caitlyn only solidifies this belief by how she lashes out at her for stopping her from killing Jinx and Isha in the crossfire.
So where does that leave Vi? In a place between Zaun and Piltover, unable to belong in either city as they’re torn apart by Jinx’s revolution and Ambessa’s declaration of martial law, working as a pit fighter to make ends meet and drowning herself in liquor. Caitlyn’s betrayal hurts more than anything Silco or Jinx could do to her because she truly, genuinely, loved her, and thought she did the same. Why wouldn’t she fall deeper into the pit she dug for herself, using black face paint and hair dye to forget about the person she was that foolishly fell for Caitlyn Kiramman?
With that said, I’m very excited and terrified of where Vi’s story is going to take us in Act 2. November 16th can’t come any sooner.
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fanfics4all · 1 day ago
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What Best Friends Are For
Request: Yes / No
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Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 
Word count: 1332
Warnings: Mentions of someone dead and being caught up in shady shit
Y/N: Your Name 
Prompt(s): I did this based on this post!
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I stood in front of Spencer’s door, my heart pounding harder than it ever had. I could feel the cold creeping through my bones, but nothing compared to the chill of fear gripping me inside. I wasn’t sure he’d even recognize me after all this time, sure we talked all the time, but it’s still been so long since we’ve seen each other. But I had nowhere else to go. Nowhere safe, nowhere I trusted. Just Spencer. 
When the door opened and I saw him standing there, I couldn’t help but see a rush of relief wash over me. His face softened and his familiar, warm eyes widened as he looked me over. I saw concern flicker there almost immediately, but he just stepped aside and invited me in. 
The warmth of his apartment was a stark contrast to the icy night outside, but it couldn’t chase away the dread that had settled deep in my chest. I felt his presence at my side as he followed me to the couch. It took everything in me to not break down right then and there. Instead, I forced a small smile and sat, clasping my hand tightly in my lap. 
“Do you remember when we were little, and I asked you if we’d always be friends?” I asked, looking up at him. Spencer smiled that gentle smile that I remembered so well. My heart ached as I waited for his response. 
“I said you could murder someone, and I’d still be your friend.” The warmth of the memory was fleeting. 
“How well has that aged?” I asked, trying to hide the shake in my voice, forcing a laugh that sounded more like a broken whisper. His smile disappeared and his eyes filled with concern as he searched my face. 
“What happened?” I looked down at my hands, trying to gather the corsage to say it. It was the whole reason I came here, wasn’t it? To tell him. To ask for help. I just didn’t know if he’d still look at me the same way again. 
“I… I didn’t know where else to go.” I managed, barely about to keep my voice steady. 
“Something happened, Spence, something bad. And I’m… I’m scared.” His hand covered mine, his touch grounding me like it always had. 
“You can tell me anything, Y/N.” He said and I felt his thumb brushing gently over my knuckles. I forced myself to look up at him and I could feel my throat tightening with the words I was about to say. 
“It’s just… things got complicated. I made some bad choices, got mixed up with the wrong people…” I felt a tear slip down my cheek and I looked away, ashamed. 
“And now… now someone’s dead because of me.” 
The silence that followed felt like a thousand pounds on my shoulders. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. I couldn’t bear to see disappointment or horror in his beautiful eyes. But instead, I felt his hand squeeze mine, pulling me out of my thoughts. 
“Tell me everything, Y/N.” He whispered, his voice softer than I’d ever heard it. 
“We’ll figure this out, together.” I felt another tear escape and this time, I didn’t hold back. I turned my hand under his, squeezing it. The tears came harder, all the fear and guilt I’d been holding back finally surfacing. But Spencer didn’t let go. He just kept his hand in mine. I took a shaky breath, trying to piece together where to even start. 
“It was supposed to be simple…” My voice was barely above a whisper. 
“A couple of new friends and I got caught up in this scheme, Spence. At first, it seemed harmless, a quick way to make some money. But things spiraled so fast…” I looked down ashamed. 
“I didn’t know what they were really planning and by the time I realized… someone was already dead.” Spencer’s grip on my hand tightened. His gaze was fixed on me, his face still calm, but I could see the concern in his eyes deepening. 
“Who are these people? Are you in danger?” I nodded, feeling my stomach twist. 
“They know I want out now. I think they suspected I might talk, and I was scared to go to the police. I thought… maybe I could just come here. You’re the only person I trust.” 
He took a deep breath and I could see him processing everything, analyzing every word I said. Spencer was a genius, that I knew. He’s probably already pieced together more than I could even say. Yet, he didn’t rush me. He let me speak at my own pace, his steady gaze holding me in place. 
“You were right to come here.” He said softly. 
“We’ll handle this. We can go to the police together and I’ll make sure they know you’re not involved the way they’ll think you are. You’re safe here, okay?” The certainty in his words made my heart ache differently. All I’d done was run to him, and yet, he was willing to risk everything just to help me. 
“Thank you, Spence. I-I don’t deserve this kindness.” 
“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N.” His tone was gentle, but firm. 
“I’d do anything for you, I always have.” He brushed a strand of hair from my face. I noticed just how close he’d gotten. The world outside, the danger, faded away. It was just us, like when were were kids, the two of us finding safety and understanding in each other. I loved him then, in a way I didn’t fully understand, but now there was no denying what it was. 
“Spencer…” I started, not knowing where to go with the words, but he seemed to understand, like always. He leaned closer, his voice barely a whisper. 
“We can figure the rest out tomorrow, but tonight, just know I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” I closed the space between us, pressing my forehead against his, feeling his warm breath fan my face. 
“I love you…” I whispered, and before he could say anything, I pressed my lips against his. He didn’t hesitate to kiss me back. 
“I love you too, Y/N…” He said when we pulled away. 
“But, if you needed money, why didn’t you come to me?” He asked, his voice gentle but I could hear a bit of hurt. I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out at first. Shame and guilt clawed at me, knowing I’d chosen the riskier, more dangerous path instead of just talking to him. 
“Spencer…” I whispered, looking down. My fingers were fidgeting with the edge of my sleeve. 
“I…I didn’t want you to think less of me. I didn’t want you to see me like this… Desperate, needing help. I was afraid you’d think I was weak.” He shook his head, squeezing my hand gently. 
“That’s not true and you know it.” He said, a hint of frustration in his voice. 
“I would never have thought less of you. I would have done anything to help you, make sure you didn’t have to go through this.” His voice softened. 
“You’re my best friend, Y/N. That’s what I’m here for, to help you.” I felt a tear slide down my cheek, and he brushed it away. 
“I thought I could fix it myself. I didn’t want to be a burden.” I admitted, my voice trembling again. 
“You could never be a burden to me.” He said softly. A shaky breath escaped me, and I felt his arm slide around my shoulders, pulling me into a gentle embrace. I melted into his warmth, letting him calm me down. 
“I’m sorry, Spence… I’m so sorry.” I muttered against his chest, feeling his heartbeat under my cheek. He held me tighter, his hand brushing through my hair. 
“There’s nothing to apologize for. You’re here now and that’s all that matters. We’ll get through this together.” He whispered.
Tag list: @les-bio-lie @tashy-bear @ashwarren32 @hollie-blogs-blog1 @lover-of-books-and-tea @nerdygaloresposts @teenwolfbitches28 @kmc1989 @drw0301bieber @lady-of-lies @ravenmoore14 @ravenempress101 @cillianchamp @rowanthomasknapp @rachelxwayne @ready-4-fanfiction @madammarvellous-blog1 @pettyjayy @bruisedfists-and-splitlips @answer-the-sirens @andreasworlsboring101  @reidssmile @currentfangirl-futuremedexaminer @mggstyles @satans-0-spawn @emofairygay @thesoftestwarlock @liz-owl 
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butnotbubblegum · 4 months ago
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, read at your own risk.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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lightblueminecraftorchid · 5 months ago
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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over
#blue chatter#trying to work on not doing this#and just enjoying the thing in the moment#this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such#like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried#because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home#and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow#because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment#had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person#my friends themselves would have been very different people#I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again#because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary#I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future#but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted#and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them#and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.
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hobisexually · 1 month ago
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x
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deactivateddsstuff · 3 months ago
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Please take all the time you need…I will wait for you..
I will do anything even start from the beginning…just for you…
Whenever you feel the moment is right…I will wait for you..,
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chazz-is-a-zelda-fan · 1 year ago
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can’t post this on insta considering a good chunk of my irls follow me there and they wouldn’t get this but i’ve been doing a lot better this week about keeping up with myself, i think
#the thing that i’ve mostly seen myself get better at is brushing my teeth and i know that’s so basic everyone starts by working on that#but its actually really difficult for me to keep up with esp considering that i have self sabotaging my health for years#like for the majority of my life i did not think i would make it to 16. i thought i would be 6 feet under and buried before i got here#i didn’t want people to know me because 1. then they couldn’t hurt me by forgetting me and 2.#they wouldn’t have anyone to mourn and i could fade away like i’d always wanted to#so i never cared about myself since i thought “well my time is up before i’m 16 it’s not like anything matters to me”#and while i hate to say it it gave me a sense of freedom under the roof i was stuck under#Religious Trauma does not fuck around let me tell you that#and so that “nothing i do matters” mentality became a major part of me and i regret it so much#i ruined so many relationships that could’ve helped me hold on to the little hope i had#i almost ruined my entire relationship with my sister because of that and i… i hope she knows how sorry i am.#i hope she knows just how hard her big brother is trying to be better.#i don’t know what to do now that i’m 16. it’s scary. i don’t know anything. i graduate next year.#but whatever i do… i can try. i can try to move on from the self sabotage and the recklessness and maybe#just maybe#i can be a big brother she can be proud of.#midnight mech
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stonesandswords · 2 years ago
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.
#spent the day at my parents house for my birthday yesterday and i just … my mom is so god damn narcisstic i can’t#i’ve been volunteering A LOT lately; like an insane amount that i’ve been close with some of the other frequent volunteers#anyways my mom wanted to prep stuff to send off to where i volunteer for my birthday#annoying a bit cause it’s my day off but she got me right in the spot of care that she knew i’d never say no to that specific request#and we’re prepping the stuff for me to bring back to where i volunteer and she just looks at me and she’s like emotional#and she’s just looking at me like ‘wow i really did raise good kids didn’t i?’#WHEN I TELL YOU I ALMOST LOST MY SHIT#girl it’s my fucking birthday; a day that you have literally always co-opted to do what YOU want for my bday instead of what i want#we’re prepping stuff for a place where i’ve put in 3-5 days a week of hard volunteer work and face time with the people i work with#and it’s because i’m doing all of this in fucking spite of her#i volunteer with people who are homeless and my mom is proud of me despite the fact that she nearly abused me into homelessness for years??#like oh! you threatened to kick me out of the house when i was fucking 8 years old (that was the start; she threatened this for years)#she even went as far to literally ship me off to relatives ever summer for weeks at a time because she didn’t want to deal with me#i raised myself; i persisted myself; i raised my sisters; i raised my neighborhood; i did this all myself#i am strong and relentless and incredible and amazing all on my own#and i know this and try to hold myself high because of this#god damn it made me so angry that my mom thinks she’s responsible for all the love and care i put into the world#you narcissistic whacko#i put love and care into the world despite!; i had to fight for love and care; i had to find it for myself#the amount of trauma this woman inflicted on me and she wants to take credit for all the work i did in order to recover from her????#don’t get me wrong; i’m so incredibly proud of myself and all the hard work i’ve done to take care of myself#and the comment didn’t bother me at first; i just rolled my eyes#but it really is incredible how fucking stupid and narcisstic my mother is and now fucking badass i am#brain dumps
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faithfromanewperspective · 2 months ago
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the thing is, when I think about graduating from my degree in 18 months time, I think of the relief of finishing high school that we felt when we realised we’d never have to do some of those subjects again. don’t get me wrong, I love what I’m studying, but the endless pile of tasks and assignments and new information I’m bombarded with and everything being on my computer and in my notebooks and doing nothing with my hands—that I could do without. at work I always struggled with the fact that I don’t have an end date—there was no end of semester when all my assignments were done, it was just another task on top of another task and up to me to manage how I fit them into my schedule and they’d often roll over the summer break too—there was no big celebration when each task was done, and I need to celebrate the satisfaction. I also need to see a time on the horizon when all of the things taking up my mental load are finished, and in an office job, you don’t have that. but with a university degree, you do.
I’ve come to realise that maybe I’m good at thinking and solving problems and shit but when it comes to basic tasks, maybe I just cant do them and maybe that’s okay. sure, there are more medications and I can work through my traumas that distract me all day when I don’t feel the drive of purpose and the promise of relief from at least one of my burdens more than I have—but in the end, it’s going to be years and years of struggling for something I may never be good at and there is no obligation associated with sunk cost. I’ve done all the studying I need to to start up a not for profit and I’ll probably work a few contract gigs in the industries I’m trained in but damn it I need an end date in every job that I work for anyone so I can know I won’t feel like this forever.
this is why any kind of non white collar job is so enthralling to me. anything that’s about helping people and you get to see the reward when it’s done and you have a happy client and money in your pocket that I can see and actually associate with the job that got done. it’s like doing the laundry, in theory at least. I know people are going to judge me. I know my universities are going to be disappointed in me. but I can make my degrees useful in my not for profit and I can also choose a life for myself that’s simpler on my brain—which is always going to be hyperactive and laser driven on altruistic causes to the point of neglecting anything else. and you know what? if I can earn money at all that’s a win. if this is what it takes to design sustainable cities properly—and I can simply reach out to people working in industries I’m training for rather than working for them forever too—while having a perspective that no one else does because who the fuck does a trade after a master’s degree—then maybe I’ve found the gap in the market or whatever you want to call it. if I have to be cold and emotionless in a job, at least I can do something where I’m in contact with the people living in communities and sustain myself off making them feel better. at least I won’t have to rein in my active hands as well as my sidetracked mind. at least maybe I can see new places every day. maybe there’s a life for me where it’s better than the suffering of the manic grind I’ve put myself through for almost two decades.
#see this is why I’m so drawn to plumbing#and I’m willing to deal with literal shit for it#I do feel like straight out of high school I was too caught up in big picture ideals of saving the world#while also attempting to do community. but now doing community for me is about the little things that keep our physical lives ticking#and it’s like. I’ve burnt off all the curiosity that had me able to write assignments in one night and study for exams#and doing tasks in an office was something I was never good at#if I had a really good working team I could maybe manage. but how many teams am I going to have to try to find that?#isn’t it more sustainable for me to give myself a break from 2 decades of education before I try to overwork my brain again?#and it took me this long to figure it out. and no one who looks at my resume is gonna get it#but the bottom line is I’m disabled in a way that’s pretty much impossible to accommodate. and I’m also really good at way too many things#so who cares if I follow a career progression or not? as long as I’m working at all it’s a win#and like I always say. I need to sustain myself to be able to survive my entire life and actually live it#every time I’ve studied it’s been like holding my breath and running a race#and you can’t do that as a job every single week with only 2 days off to do housework and have friends and rest#you need to properly rest. and so I need to find a job that feels like a leisurely stroll for my brain#then do the hard thinking stuff only when I feel like it. I’m gonna work way better that way#so my challenge is to find someone who will take me as an apprentice#personal mental health tag#neurodivergence
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none-tadashi-left-hiro · 2 months ago
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oh it’s possible I am experiencing dissociation
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floral-hex · 5 months ago
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Another night I feel like my world is ending, so I went for a drive. Tried to sleep earlier. Nothing doing. Took a couple antianxieties. Surprisingly, not much help. Made me a little sleepy, cried a little, maybe a little more relaxed, but still…. blegh.
So, I’ve got my beeg drink, a podcast going, and I’m sitting in the Kroger parking lot because it’s 4:30+ in the morning and I need to see actual humans walking around. I don’t know how to explain it. Seeing other people continue on with their lives helps calm my doomer anxiety.
This sucks.
#going to give up on sleeping tonight because…#because because because because…#because my brain hates me and whenever I try to sleep now I feel like I’m going to die#I NEED to schedule more appointments#I don’t know why I didn’t. I mean#I mean I do know why I didn’t. it’s because I think I had a couple good days and didn’t want to stress myself#which is stupid. a little stress scheduling today stops me from stressing more later#I need drugs! I need therapy. I might need to see an ENT again bc I’m paranoid about my sinuses#sorry I got annoyed this week seeing posts talking shit about therapy and it just made me feel shitty for needing it#but whatever. whatever works for you. this is rambling#I’m gonna stay up. try to see the sunrise. see more people walking around.#I miss having friends… but damn that was a long time ago#that nice sweet spot right around highschool and right after where we would all hang out all night#just driving around or loitering or watching movies at each other’s places#do you ever really get to have friends like that again?#seems like you’d have to make a bunch of friends in school and then hold onto them as hard as you can#or maybe I just need to be more social. but that’s rough. how’s a 35 year old introvert loser supposed to be social in a normal way?#also…#I just want to be held#that’s all I wanted earlier. to be held for awhile. to have someone comfort me physically.#just hang out with me. sit on your phone next to me. let me know I’m not doing this alone.#be a bro! jeez!#okay it’s almost 5. guess I should get back to driving#whatever. this sucks. I’m so anxious.#you can ignore this#text
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fingertipsmp3 · 6 months ago
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I will never understand people who post tiktoks of them being mansplained to in the gym or someplace and they’re just nodding and smiling at the guy or being civil with him.. I’d end up being filmed by some bystander absolutely shrieking my head off as soon as the guy tells me I need to lose 50 pounds or that I’m doing the wrong workout
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always-a-slut-4-ghouls · 1 year ago
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Is refreshing my Spanish more useful in my day to day life? Yes. Do I end up doing that? No, because I’m a fucking idiot who can’t focus properly unless I’m into something. I keep saying “I’ve taken three Spanish classes through elementary and highschool. Re-learning it has to be easier than learning a whole new language!” and then when I open Duolingo I go like “ooh, Norwegian. I would love to be able to read that!” and take the Norwegian lessons instead 😑
#emma posts#to be fair to myself while I do encounter Spanish more often#I don’t actually have to use it very frequently here#I do. however. get more frustrated when I reach a translation dead end in Norwegian more often#genealogy has been a sort of side hobby since I was a kid and my family came to america relatively recently#so if i try to go back past the immigration I need to find translated sources#but there just aren’t that many unless it’s something that’s already been translated by family#i don’t have as much trouble with Icelandic family because people who were interested in this before I was went hard on getting information#but I’m my dad’s side it’s harder#and we have this postcard that Norwegian family mailed the American immigrant family decades ago#and we know what it says because someone found a guy to translate it#but it infuriates me that I’m looking right at it and i can’t even read it without help! it’s not even that big a deal#it’s just a skill issue that pisses me off#no idea what I’m going to do with the Dutch records I found. they aren’t even about people from the Netherlands. they just straight up have#records about the countrys my family comes from available online and I’m like???#me looking at papers in a language my grandparents either stopped speaking or weren’t encouraged to learn. and glaring#what secrets do you hold? and it’s literally just the Icelandic version of the Bible and I know it#but some of it is actually not the Bible okay?#and I do imagine I may have to put extra work in when it comes to older sources since I’m learning modern Norwegian#but i have to start somewhere
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oreo-creampie · 6 months ago
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“𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐈’𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐩!”
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬! creampie/fucking his previous load of cum into you, mating press, toji is a mean teasing bully, pussy slapping, choking, taunting/degradation, hints at cock warning, light size kink, praising Toji, daddy, begging, pain kink
fey: let’s see if tumblr likes this better!
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“Look at all that cum drippin’ out.” He squeezes your thigh making it harder for you to move your weak legs.
Digging your nails into his hard pecs, you’re pleading with Toji “Please move! Please! You’d said if I could make ya cum you’d fuck me please! You’re cock is so hard inside me, please fuck me! Please!” Grinding your hips, it feels so good to have his thick cock pushing some of his cum deeper into you.
You feel like a dirty whore already full of your husband’s cum yet craving more. You couldn’t get enough of Toji, his deep voice, his large hands and fat veiny cock are addictive.
Toji tucks an arm behind his head, his muscular biceps subtly flexing, “Ya really want me to fuck ya still, you’re that much of a whore? You’re already filled with my cock n’ cum, what more do you need?”
You beg, “For you to move please! You started this by rubbing on me telling me how you’ve been thinking about cumming in me. N’ I've been so good fucking myself on your cock!” He smirks when you try to pout whilst bouncing yourself on his cock.
“And whose is the pathetic slut who gets wet for me so easily?” He roughly grabs your throat and hip, holding you to him. It’s effortless how he gets off
“And whose is the pathetic slut who gets wet for me so easily?” He roughly grabs your throat and hip, holding you to him. It’s effortless how he gets off the bed with you in his grasp and his cock buried in your cunt.
He presses you against the wall, holding you there by your throat as he pulls his cock out. Roughly slapping your cunt, “C’mon tell me ya stupid lil whore otherwise I won’t let you cum.” Your body jolts from each harsh slap making your soaking wet cunt sting. His thick cum drips when your cunt clenches nothing. As you claw at Toji’s large hand, desperate to answer. You pathetic attempts making him smirk down at you.
He lines himself up, “Too late! I guess you don’t wanna cum.” Rocking his cock into you with a quick roll of his hips. Filling your sloppy wet cunt up, his fat head rubbing your sweet spot making your toes curl.
Toji loosens his firm hold on your throat, with any air you get you’re pleading. “Please lemme cum! I wanna cum on your cock! It feels so much better when you help me cum! Please I’m a greedy slut who gets turned on by you too easily.”
He grabs your thighs pinning you in a mating press. There is no where to run, trapping against the wall his massive muscular body so he can bully your cunt with his cock however he pleases.
“You’re so hot n big! I love the scar on your lip, how your hands feel when you grope me. Please daddy! I wanna cum on your cock lemme cum I’ve been a good slut! I’ve rode your cock till you came in me please!” He leans down quieting your pleads with a rough kiss.
You slip your fingers into his dark hair making him groan when you tug on it. His kiss softens when you whine, it’s so loving and sweet the way he’s making out with you. Contrasting his merciless rough, steady thrusts that are perfectly ruining your sloppy wet cunt.
Biting your bottom lip before he pulling away. Toji looks down to watch your soaking wet cunt take his fat cock. “I’ll give you another chance, how badly does my stupid brat wanna cum on my cock?”
all works!
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