#I’m tired too
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once again longing for a man who doesn’t want me
#ik you’re tired#i’m tired too#i always fall for emotionally unavailable men#i do this to myself#personal
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this blog rlly does help me live guilt free. painfully aware I cannot just go full-beam hyper fixation on my friends. bless them they are so sweet and understanding and they have so much patience for me, but I can tell when it’s starting to cause a strain - and by the time I can actually tell they must be very very tired.
worth noting that this isnt self pitying, it’s just the way it is. And that’s ok! I can scream into this void and it helps because sometimes the void screams back!
#thank you for listening#is anybody out there?#midnight madness#autism#hyperfixation#coping#im doing my best#asd#I’m tired too
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the urge to draw nikolai gogol, bill cipher, and my dnd character meeting bc i am having immense brain rot
also wanna switch their outfits
also also thinking abt robin from fire emblem for some reason. he would not fit in. unless i have him holding fucking leashes.
but…
maybe grima will fit >:)
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it’s so unfair my closest people can say they’re tired of having to be discrete and then they leave.
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The Most Important Election is always the one that’s just about to happen. I’m sorry, that’s just how it is.
The thing I keep coming back to, with all the *gestures expansively* is that real life doesn't have peaceful epilogues.
Every single win has to be defended. Forever. I'm sorry. It sucks. The Nazis lost until they stopped losing. The US had abortion rights, and then 50 years later it didn't. Empires fall, and then they invade other countries again. Oppressive regimes are overthrown and replaced with other oppressive regimes. You will never finish the work etc etc etc. Which is why it's so fucking important to be able to acknowledge and celebrate progress, when it happens. The people who came before you didn't put in all that work for nothing, and you aren't, either. You can't save it all for the Ultimate Victory because there is never going to be an Ultimate Victory. There's no such thing as a time when everything is good, and ours shall not be the commune of Heaven.
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hey! just so u know, i (and i'm sure many others) would love to hear about that AU ! but it's alr if u don't wanna share it yet, do what makes u comfortable 👍
Oughh.. ohhh boy. Okay I should probably finally get to answering this ask gahhhh!.!..
Hi you!!! I’m assuming this is about my TWA AU post thing I made and deleted a little bit ago, in which I’d be happy to talk about it! I’m totally fine with sharing that shtuffs if you wanna hear about it, the only reason I’ve been hesitant to do so and putting it off is because my English is super sucky and I can’t articulate or explain my thinking properly so it can get super confusing, especially when we get to the more complicated lore. Plus, I don’t wanna make this post as long as the other one [that was pain in my ass to type and post 😭🙏] but.. I suppose I can take a swing at it! Please do bear with me haha.
So I’m not into TWA as I was before [I do sometimes rewatch videos out of boredom or for writing purposes] but I used to be super hyperfixated on it.. uh??? More than a year ago according to my discord. And I came up with this dumb unnamed AU which I fleshed out but never elaborated on. It’s got some complicated lore which I’ll try to explain to the best of my ability. Also like don’t jump me when I say I forgot most, if not everything from the original TWAEU lore so whatever I’m making up my own story now.
In the story, JP [Ego] finishes writing a chapter of his super awesome amazing BEST STORY EVER! and he’s so proud of himself that he goes to take a well deserved nights rest. And then he gets fucking isekai’d. Of course, it’s the most cliche, generic isekai plot ever, so JP just thinks he’s dreaming. He’s the all-mighty powerful chosen one. He’s self aware and got all the plot armor in the world. He’s got himself a useless familiar who dumps the plot at him. It’s your standard isekai story, save for the harem collecting because JP couldn’t pull to save his life. Anyways, he’s transported to this kingdom or whatever, because there’s always a monarchy in good fantasy right? And for whatever reason, the Knights of Artistic Integrity are the only authority figures despite sucking at their job. LOL.
Anywhos! JP’s goal is to “defeat the evil in the kingdom and restore it to peace so he can return to reality yeah!!” [the evil in question being his inners]. But JP doesn’t really take his quest seriously because why would he. It’s a dumbass dream he thinks until he almost dies and realizes “Wow! This dream sure is wack! It’s almost like this… isn’t a dream. Also what happened to my plot armor?” Or whatever white people say. In any case, he’s saved by the one and only Sir Knight Commander Mcstabbypants! [my beloved]. KC realizes that JP just might be the chosen one the prophecy called for ! So they take him back to Sir Adblock who devises a deal. JP and the knights will work together, he gets rid of the evil and restores peace to the kingdom and they help him return to reality. It’s a fair enough deal so JP agrees.
Things happen but JP and KC need to find Inner Critic. So they track down, arrest, and interrogate the Ancient Conspiracy Guy who claims to know where IC is. He’s a dirty liar and just wants to get out but he does know where to find the Cthulhu Cult Leader who’d probably know where IC is. They could also be a useful asset in defeating evil if they figured out how to get the Cthulhu Cult Leader on their side. This is also a shameless lie btw, but JP and KC don’t think much of it and without many leads they drag Ancient Conspiracy Guy around trying to find em. In reality Conspiracy Guy kinda just wants to get Cthulhu Cultist dude arrested because he’s petty as fuck. Don’t question it.
I’m gonna go ahead and skip that whole saga thing, but JP and co. find Inner Critic. And the guy is all “I’ve heard many things about you J.P. BEAUBIEN. It’s about time you owned up and repaid for the damages you caused.” or.. something like that, and JP goes “I have not a clue what you’re talking about because I just got here, but I’m gonna assume that’s a good thing!”
Anyways they kill Inner Critic. RIP. Everyone celebrates! They got rid of the evil! That is until JP’s familiar FINALLY shows up and goes “Wait, no, you weren’t supposed to kill him. You were just supposed to cleanse him [whatever that means]” which would’ve been nice to know before they killed the guy!! But no they need him alive. Man I sure wish there was a way to bring the dead back to life-
Hey so did I talk about Inner Greed’s giant 3D printer? But before when can address that ginormous elephant in the room, we have to get into the nitty gritty for uh context. This is where the lore kind of gets confusing but stay with me here! [Oh Solid Space… how I’ve longed to finally talk about you...]
So what exactly is Solid Space? In the AU lore, Solid Space is a theoretical concept proposed by this guy named Inner Ambition, that aimed to explain an oddly specific conundrum. If you watched a Terrible Writing Advice video before you’d know that all the art and characters are built up of shapes. Disconnected shapes that is [and yes, I am very aware this is a stylistic thing that makes the graphics simpler but in this AU it’s pretty important]. This design choice still exists in my AU, where all the characters don’t have those parts connecting their limbs so they just appear to be floating but it’s more exaggerated. Namely, their bodies lack a neck and joints in the shoulders, elbows, wrists, hips, knees, and ankles. What remains is an empty space filled up by air. This led to people wondering, how are we [the people in the AU] still able to function normally without these necessary parts? I mean, they can still eat, drink, breathe, and talk without a neck? Their limbs stay in place and can’t really be pushed or pulled around without feeling pain. So how do you explain this? Inner Ambition aimed to figure that out, conducting various experiments, and learned the following:
The empty space between limbs behaved in such a way that IA dubbed it the “Limb Space Paradox”. Essentially, if you try to touch the limb space with a part of your body [say, sticking your finger in the space where your neck should be] it would go through as if there were nothing there. Like there was just air between them. You could cut through that space and not feel a thing. HOWEVER! Any other object, substance, or element that made contact with that space would react as if there were a solid object in between them. If you tried to stick a pencil in between the space where your shoulder would be, it would stop and hit a solid wall. It would NOT pass through. If you poured water down your arm, it would flow downwards the sides of your arm instead of through the empty space. Air would also hit the surface instead of going through the other side.
The fact that these characters can bleed, breathe, feel and be hurt imply the existence of skin, organs, muscles, nerves and veins, bones, and the like within these spaces, yet it cannot be seen or altered. This, ladies and gentlemen, is what Inner Ambition calls “Solid Space”. Solid Space is a confusing idea, implying that parts of their body exist in some form, in a plane beyond their own. Something they cannot properly comprehend. Because of this, Solid Space cannot be artificially recreated [keep that in mind].
Now, why exactly this is and what evolutionary advantage this feature has is unclear, because IA died right before he could figure out the answer.
And it may or may not be JP’s fault.
Uh anyways back to Inner Greed’s printer? Oh yeah! So Greed has the ginormous machine that resembles a kind of 3D Printer. And essentially, he can produce literally anything [and I mean ANYTHING] in large quantities as long as he has the filament. The filament in question is artificially crafted and owned by Greed and Greed only. The cost to create something using Greed’s printer is insanely high, so usually only the rich and elite can afford to even come close to the thing [obviously, this IS Greed we are talking about!] Usually, companies will collaborate with Greed to pump out products in mass amounts where they then sell it off to the public for a lower, yet still expensive price. People mainly prefer to buy products from these companies because of a little bit of Greed propaganda. He assures everyone his printed products are higher quality, better for the environment and health [when that’s entirely false], and the price is totally worth it! Even though you’d have to sell your newborn to even afford housing and shi. Nowadays, a majority of big companies get their stuff from Greed. Awesome. I love capitalism. Also Inner Greed is essentially controls the government and military and.. well pretty much everything which is why the Knights need him GONE. [Random fact? The Chainsaw General Guy -What’s his face- is Greed’s right hand man here, even though he hates working for Greed and just needs to pay off a debt. I dunno]
But like I said, Greed’s machine can print anything and everything. That includes printing people, cloning the powerful, nd’ reviving the dead. Hell yeah! 3D printing necromancy babeyy!!
The only issue with this system is the fact that it’s virtually impossible to do any of this as a layperson. The process is not only INCREDIBLY difficult [you yourself need to provide the resources/materials for filament] and time consuming, it’s extortionate!! Obviously it’s gonna be expensive, this is Greed after all, but even the most wealthy elites [aside from Greed’s inner circle] are hesitant to pay the price and only really do it when they get extremely desperate. Just imagine your average millionaire’s yearly income I guess. Anywho, if you were somehow able to afford and pay for this service, the steps required are just as troublesome. First, you’d need the body of the subject you’d want to print, and it needs to be preserved perfectly. That is to say, if the body of a dead person sustained any injury [internal or external] they’d need to be fixed before bringing them to Greed or he’ll just print them out as is, and there’s no going back or fixing it afterwards. And trust me, the medical bills are just as bad. So if you broke your leg before you die you gotta get that thing back in place or else you’ll just come back with a permanent broken leg. This also just makes it hard for those whose bodies are missing to be revived, those like Inner Ambition- I’m getting ahead of myself. Anyways, after receiving and scanning the body, you’d need to provide Greed with a large enough sample of preserved DNA and tissue to be mixed in with his artificial filament. Oh, remember when I explained Solid Space and said it can’t be artificially recreated? Yeah, well Greed will just replace that space with a clear, resin like substance that mimics the appearance of solid space but really acts more like a glass tube where you can see your insides through. Extremely fragile and painful to live with. And after all that you’d the wait a month, give or take? Depends on how nice Greed was feeling that moment.
All that time and effort… and only to have the husk [body] of the person you’re printing. You’d need to go to Greed AGAIN and have him reprogram a conscience and memories back into the husk to fully complete the process. So yeah. Capitalism win. The only exception to this would be Greed’s inner circle of people which he has their bodies already archived for quick and easy printing. The inner circle in question being made up of mostly rich political figures who JP is also tasked with getting rid of.
Not too sure if any of this makes sense or is that relevant to the story that I had to flesh it out like that. I stopped working on the AU immediately after my hyperfixation died off.
But basically JP doesn’t wanna have to go through that process because that’s annoying as hell, plus Greed also seems to hate him and the Inner Critic so he wouldn’t dare revive that guy. Makes JP’s mission a lot more complicated. But I guess that’s his fault-
So now JP’s real goal has become more of a “figure out what you did to turn the world to ruin and repay for the damages and crimes while also restoring order to the kingdom” or something like that. Because JP isn’t really the hero the story initially sets him out to be. All this while trying to return back to reality… yeah this is gonna be a long mission. Existential crises, battles n betrayals, Y’know the like.
And that’s… as much as I wrote before effectively forgetting about it and never continuing the story from there. And man in retrospect this is an absolutely insane AU that I could probably rewrite and improve but hey, this dumbass post is long enough as is. So many tangents and ramblings…sorry I don’t know how to conclude this chaotic mess of a post. I am exhausted. I’m glad I finally finished writing this so I can post it and stop thinking about it LOL 😭🙏 If anyone cares, I don’t have any official designs for this AU so feel free to come up with your own interpretations.
Anywhos, thank you for the ask and I hope this wasn’t too awful of a read [that is, if anyone actually read all of this. Sorry XD] Much love to you all.
#WADUHHH#I said I wouldn’t write another essay about my DUMBASS aus and now here we are#yes I did spend a week on and off working on this in my drafts#why do you ask#I’m sorry to anon and anyone else who actually reads this btw#I’m tired too#phone kept crashing just to write this omg#neri reads mail#and rambles and goes on long tangents and yaps#oleanswers#twa#terrible writing advice#terrible writing advice au#ah
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lmao
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It is calming to see something familiar in another
inspo x x
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#casting a wide net w these tags bc i spent forever on this please clap#BUT anyway when i saw the first linked post my wheels started turning#if theres anything good i can say abt the da fandom is that when they start cooking they prepare a michelin star meal#@varrictethrasoilytits and @arlathvhenan u are COOKING#lace harding#bellara lutare#davrin#neve gallus#emmrich volkarin#lucanis dellamorte#taash#evanuris#dragon age veilguard#have been made aware that this looks like cheeks on mobile but I’m too tired to care rn#my edits
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My parent’s home of 30+ years was just trashed by a tornado. There was no tornado warning. And why would there be? There’s never been a tornado in those parts in living memory. People are dead, homes are destroyed, lives are destroyed. It happened in seconds. How are we supposed to prepare for things we didn’t even know were possible?
My kid sister is a climate scientist. Shit is getting real out here. The devastation wrought on island nations. The flood events that should be once in lifetime, but happen again and again. The way cyclones have spread out of the equatorial formation zone owing to warmer ocean temperatures. The heat waves are starting to kill people en masse. Dozens of poll workers just died in the Indian elections. Dozens. There’s also extended droughts, water scarcity, food scarcity from people switching to drought resistant crops that feed animals but not humans, fires, desertification…
Meanwhile countries that created all the emissions and made bank while doing so are telling poorer nations that they can’t pursue economic growth in the same way. Ok, then you make up the economic shortfall in our growth. Give us the green tech for free. Invest here. Make it possible. When the sea swallows an island, you take that population in and you set them up to thrive in your borders.
We had to endure colonial extraction of resources, under industrialisation, slavery and indenture, famine and malnutrition, family separation and repression of religion and culture. You turned any strength we had into a weakness to better facilitate your control over us. Now when we try to feed ourselves you want to talk emissions? We know what climate change is. We know what air pollution is, acid rain, the ozone layer, declining biodiversity. We’re not ignorant. We just also know what everyday starvation is. Stop punishing us for catering to people’s immediate needs, when the emissions that got us here were from the developed world anyway, not us.
white americans when you tell them that the idea of climate change as an impending disaster is a reductive first world perspective because it’s a tangible reality for many in the global south already:
#thanks op#i’m tired too#south africa#you wanna know something gross?#a bunch of developed nations are jockeying to come out on top of the emerging conditions of climate change#part of national self interest and new geopolitics#is who will win climate change#this planet killing phenomenon they caused#the global south#climate change#extreme weather#extreme weather events#tornado#water scarcity#food scarcity#drought#climate change politics#politics#geopolitics#not survive it but actually leverage it to their advantage#climate policy#climate justice
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Vanny can’t explain everything in the FNAF pizzaplex..
#chloesimagination#myart#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#michael afton#fnaf vanny#fnaf vanessa#elizabeth afton#ms afton#william afton#evan afton#cc fnaf#security breach#fnaf fanart#NGL I’m still not over the Afton staff bots that are in security breach#IM still curious of what that whole scene is trying to say#other then being a cool nod to the Aftons#BUT LORE and theories don’t matter in this comic#what if Michael saw the Afton staff bots BAHA#YOUD think he’d be mad or just tired#Vanessa definitely can’t explain it either#I think she knows most things going on at the pizzaplex BUT not all#and I think this one would stump her a lil BAHA#just no way to wave this off just like damn sorry Michael#I STILL CANT GET OVER TOO HOW#CC is repped by the bot missing a head 💀#Michaels not gonna like that one oof
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#need to get it out of me#right now#but i’m too sleepy tired because of work#so. going to kill instead :)#own
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#if your regular sleep med of choice is Benadryl I’m afraid of you#Idek what my answer is though??? probably melatonin. it helps a lot when I need to fix my sleep schedule#sleep soundly <3333#I also sometimes take ashwaganda if it’s not too expensive or is mixed w other stuff. and drink sleepy teas but not necessarily JUST tosleep#I was on olanzapine and that helped my sleep a lot (at the cost of eventually making me feel so so tired during the day)#anyways you must tell me
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The sleepers (+wings au)
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#sabo#portgas d ace#asl brothers#one piece sabo#one piece luffy#one piece ace#i was hesitant on posting this cuz of some parts of the drawing I wanted to change#but it’s late and i’m too tired so I just ball with it
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The Skrunkly do :>>>
Blep.
I’m so sorry I really don’t like this 😭 but I wasted hours of my life so I’m posting it anyway, I promise I’ll get something better out soon! 💖
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Haven’t finished the game yet did this happen
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isat bonnie#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#my art#long absence and I’m back with a fucking meme#sorry I’ve been busssyyyyy#and tired too#also I actually haven’t finished the game yet so please don’t spoil anything thankss
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when i went to watch the anniversary screening of phantom menace, this shot of obi-wan burrowed into my brain 😵💫
#I tried to clone war style him but it’s bizarre without the beard#as long as it looks like any version of him I’m happy#😅#I’ve been meaning to finish this one since it was out#I’ve been slacking#I’m too tired to do the background so that’s part of the screenshot - not my work#sw art#obi wan kenobi#Star Wars#clone wars#phantom menace#star wars fanart
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