#I’m super reluctant to use a different word because the exact meaning I want is in the uncommon word

[goatpowers]

What the person above said and this too.

The whole “scientists use big words on purpose to be exclusive” is such a bunch of anti-intellectual bullshit. Specific and concise language exists for a reason; you need the right words to convey the right meaning, and explaining stuff right is a hugely important part of science. Cultures that live around loads of snow have loads of words to describe different types of snow; cultures that live in deserts have loads of words to describe different types of sand. Complex language is needed for complex meaning.

[thatdoctorharvey]

Flowers?

All I have to say is; I’m sorry.

Kudos to @soft-bois-make-me-simp for assisting with the idea. Don’t worry man, we can collab on another story!

Please listen to this while you read this!

There were only three times that Harvey would remember enjoying flowers. He usually wasn’t one for them, not because he was allergic or anything, he just didn’t find the reason to desire them.

Roses are red

The day he first knew he had feelings for you. He always said it was the best day of his life. He will never forget that day; the day you brought him wine on his birthday. You two had occasionally spoken from time to time, but it was really nothing super deep. You had opened up to him about a few things that you hadn’t told anyone else but not super personal. Mostly just little quirks you hated about yourself. He remembered blushing every time as everything you named seemed to be things he liked.

“So, how about a birthday dinner tonight Harv? I’m sure you can’t remember the last time you had a real meal.” You offered.

He was reluctant to answer at first, not wanting to be a bother, but he did hate his current diet and knew he needed to change it up a bit, even if his stomach might not agree with the sudden change from pre-packaged meals to home cooking.

“That...Sounds nice. Thank you.”

And boy was it nice. It was quite obvious you knew that he needed real food because you made more than enough for him just to make sure he had leftovers. He almost felt bad but you had insisted he needed it. You both knew it would be gone tomorrow. You secretly knew, he -- as a man -- had quite the appetite and had held back eating as much as he could with you around.

You left late that night, but left behind some flowers you had grown on the farm. They sat in a vase on the table, right next to his radio equipment.

“Feel free to get a hold of me if you need anything Harvey. Doctors deserve to be taken care of as well.”

Those words never left him. “Doctor’s deserve to be taken care of as well.” You cared about him and actually wanted to make sure he was doing okay. As suspected, you two grew closer after that. He started to become a lot more anxious but never made a move. 

What if you only wanted to be friends? That would be super awkward…

Violets are blue

The day you gave him the bouquet, he cried. Never had he felt so relieved and excited at the same time. You like him. No, you loved him. You. The precious farmer.

“A-are you sure? I’m so much older a-and there’s so many oth-”

“Harvey. I’ve made my choice.” You kissed his cheek. “I don’t want anyone else. They just aren’t my type.”

Fifty shades of red his face was. There was no denying that for sure. He was a tomato and a strawberry at the same time.

He’s never hugged you so tight either. Even when you brought the pendant to him (he was more gentle then). He just wished the flowers in the bouquet didn’t wilt. Joys of having live flowers though.

That and every month, you brought him a new bouquet. Not the exact same one, but you had started growing flowers specifically to make bouquets on your monthly anniversaries. 

My heart is dead 

The bouquets continued, even after marriage. Now, you just added an extra day and made sure the bouquets on your wedding anniversary were extra colorful. It was how you showed him how much you loved him.

He adored this. A lot. It always made his day, even if the day was actual garbage. Coming home to you was always enough to make him happy, but coming home to a bouquet on the table, dinner being cooked, and the sound of you humming...Oh it just made his heart melt. Even after almost five years of it.

They always reminded him of the wedding -- the last time he recalled loving flowers. You had made sure your bouquet was the brightest thing in existence, jokingly saying you wanted the attention to be on that instead of your face. He still scolds you for that. Playfully of course.

I'm such a fool

He couldn’t recall when things started to go downhill. Things had been okay for so long that he didn’t see it at first. He knew you were busy so he never thought much of it when you would come home late.

Until you started coming home drunk.

There were times he would wonder where you were or why you were drinking...But for a while, he didn’t think to ask who you were drinking with. When he found out you and Shane had been growing closer, he got jealous. He knew you wouldn’t leave him, but the anxiety started to build. You were starting to pass out drunk on the way home or you and Shane would fall asleep at the bar.

Of course, he had to confront you about it. Not in a mean way, at least he thought he didn’t.

“It’s not okay for you to be doing that? Do you know how bad that is for you and how bad of an influence he is?”

Wrong answer.

“You don’t even know him. You just cared about making ends meet and didn’t really listen to him.”

Why did I fall for you?

He was grateful you had started to listen to him after that. You came home at night sober, but you began to distance yourself. In fact, you had begun to hang out with everyone but him. You stopped making the bouquets. You stopped giving him gifts. It soon came to a point where he felt like you wanted nothing to do with him. He felt empty and felt he had to make it up to you.

He messed up right? He could fix this...He had to.

I gave it all for you

Dinner every night was a pain, but he did it. He always made sure yours was hot, even when you came home at 1 am. He would be there, taking it out of the microwave. Dishes were always done. The house was always clean and very tidy. Farm was always taken care of. He really worked his ass off to make sure you were happy.

But it wasn’t enough.

You kept pushing yourself further and further from him. It eventually got to the point where you slept on the couch just to avoid him.

It was when he found the letter on your nightstand that he knew there was no fixing this.

So, knowing he wasn’t welcome, he packed his stuff and went back to his apartment above the clinic. Maru, who Harvey had been talking to about everything when things started to go south, helped him get settled back into his old home. She was the one who held him when he cried that night and she was the one who made sure he ate something before bed. She even told him to let her know if she needed to work more at the clinic, not wanting him to be pushed too much.

He was appreciative, but knew his work would be the only thing that would take his mind off of you.

Love around my neck starting to feel like the noose

The words lingered in his head for days. Every sentence filled him with hurt. What had he done wrong? Was he really that boring and unattractive? Should he have just given up at the beginning? Did you ever really love him?

Why did this happen to him?

He lost weight from his loss of appetite. He knew it was unhealthy, especially when people began to notice, but he always said he had started to work a bit harder to get physically fit and the results were starting to show. He didn’t want anyone to know how hurt he really was. Maru knew, and if it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t have eaten.

He numbed himself to relationships of any kind. He once was very close with his patients, now he just saw them as his next visit. Even with Maru. He only saw her as an employee.

All of the lies starting to feel like the truth

He began to drink. He knew it would hurt him more, but his heart hurt all the time. He had no one to turn to when he really needed to talk, as everyone was asleep by then...But not you. You were always awake. He would hear you stumble out of the bar, laughing with at least one other person. You were drunk too, but you got to enjoy your time. He didn’t.

“Why me?”

At the end of the day, bitch, I'm not feeling you

After so long, he began to get used to the sound of you going home drunk. In fact, it worried him when you didn’t.

It started as just one night, no big deal. But then two...three...seven...twelve…

People began to look worried. No one had seen or heard from the town’s dear farmer in nearly two weeks.

The search parties started. Being himself, Harvey made sure to go. Yes, you hurt him, but by God what he would give for you to just run back into his arms and say how much you love him.

You playing with my heart, you made me look like a fool

He hated that he had been the one to find you. There was no doubt in his mind that you were gone; your skin a gray/blue color and flies around you. What killed you, he didn’t know. Only an autopsy would tell him.

At least until he further examined you.

A rather large wound on your abdomen. It was much too big to be treated on your own, but by the looks of it, you had tried to stitch it closed.

...You died because you refused to go to him for help and bled out...

This, a tragedy, it may end up on the news

The funeral was a sad one. It rained that day. Hard. Everyone in town was there too. Everyone. You had grown so close to everyone in your time away from Harvey. They all cared so much about you and our death hit hard.

It was also at the funeral where he realized how bad he had messed up. You hadn’t just been getting closer to Shane, you were getting closer to everyone. They all said a little bit of the stuff you did for them, mostly just helping out with tasks and small favors. You had started staying with Shane at the bar because he talked more when he was drunk and you had started getting drunk with him because it helped him open up. You were just trying to help him.

And Sam. You were helping him learn how to play cooler songs on the guitar and even showed him a couple cool tricks on the skateboard.

Abigail and Pierre had finally begun to form a bit of a stronger bond because you had been helping them talk through their differences.

You had been doing so much and he basically said you were cheating on him.

So, there he stood, watching the casket be lowered into the hole, and then buried. Many tears were shed. Many. Everyone knew the town wouldn’t be the same without you there. Especially Harvey.

At the end of the day, I don't wanna be with you

It rained today too.

“You still looked beautiful that day.” Harvey said softly, arranging the bouquet in his hand. All the flowers were brightly colored. Not as bright as you would have wished, but he was trying his best. “The flowers just enhanced your beauty.”

He stood in front of the tombstone, a large frown on his face. It had been even years since you had passed now, and he wasn’t doing any better. He still cried a lot, but now, it was more just a feeling. He couldn’t bring himself to get over you.

He slowly set the bouquet down against the silver tombstone, making sure you would be able to see it from the heavens.

“Happy Anniversary (y/n). I’m sorry I wasn’t a better husband to you and I’m sorry I wasn’t there to save you.” He slipped his glasses off his face and fell to his knees, letting the tears fall. “I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t believe you! I’m sorry I let my feelings take over! I’m sorry I couldn’t trust you! I love you so much!”

Loud sobs left his mouth, his tears blending with the rain as they fell to the ground. His heart, for the millionth time, shattered before him.

“Harvey?” A soft voice asked.

The doctor wiped his eyes and turned his head slightly. At this point, everyone had seen him like this. He didn’t care anymore.

It was none other than Abigail behind him, an umbrella above her head and a spare one at her side.

“Hey, it’s okay. We all miss her.” She said and handed him her spare umbrella. “We’re all worried about you too. You aren’t the same.” She sat beside him. “We all arranged something to help you. Come to the saloon so we can tell you, please.”

Harvey looked to Abigail, and then back to the bouquet. You wouldn't want him to be sad. You hated seeing him cry. Maybe this was a sign from you.

“...O-okay...Thank you...Just, give me another moment. I-I’ll be there.” He mumbled, trying to hold back sobs.

Abigail nodded and stood, letting him have a moment while she told everyone what was going on. Harvey sat there a moment longer, wiping his eyes to rid them of the tears. He sniffed once more before saying the same thing he did every year. The poem you had written for him. Part of it at least. It was a reminder to the both of you that he knew he messed up.

“Roses are red...Violets are blue...My heart is...is dead...I...I’m such a fool…”

The tears came back.

“I’m such a fool.”

[cupcakemolotov]

Feel Like Home

Had a really strange dream last night and @goldcaught talked me into giving it some shape and writing this out.  Just a quick little thing, will expand on it if I have time/the muse for it. Not really a huge number of warnings for this one. Does reference past potential sex but no details. Just magical shenanigans and Bonnie and Caroline being besties.

Caroline bit her lip, studying Bonnie’ face. Her best friend rarely wore such a worried expression anymore, but in this case she couldn’t blame her. In less than forty-eight hours, she’d dropped whatever her witchy business had been, gotten a cat sitter, and hauled butt to New York City. 

And all because Caroline had called her with an SOS. 

Fingers curling into her palms, she glanced around the high rise apartment they were currently camped out in. The space was gorgeous, all warm wood and wide open windows with lush furniture that invited you to linger. The floor was saved from being chilly thanks to a collection of gorgeous rugs, the art work on the walls tasteful and heart-breakingly gorgeous. The bathroom had been copy/pasted directly from her dreams and the tub was gorgeous and everything she wanted in life. 

It was an apartment that she coveted, and one that was millions and millions of dollars outside of her price range. Just the view of New York City alone was a multi-million dollar addition. But her favorite fall jacket had been hanging in the closet, she’d found her awesome, weekend date to-go bag on the side of the bed. It had included a change of clothes and kick ass underwear. She felt safe here, welcome, and had absolutely no memory of how she’d gotten here or whose cologne lingered on the sheets.

“Okay,” Bonnie said finally, rubbing the wrinkle line between her eyebrows tiredly. “I’m really, really glad you called.”

Caroline eyed her doubtfully. “You don’t look happy.”

Bonnie waved her hand. “That’s not about you. Not entirely, at least.”

“Well, I’m not sure who else I’m going to call when I wake up in the middle of supernatural shenanigans, but I’m glad I called you too.” Taking a deep breath, Caroline looked at her beseechingly and tried not to panic. “How did I get here? I couldn’t find any texts explaining and we both know I'm a serial texter. How did I not send you fifty messages about my underwear choices for my date? My shoes? My dress? There isn’t a single hair check selfie on my phone, Bon. That’s impossible. I don’t just let someone talk me into visiting New York without at least a pro/con list two pages long.”

“Oh, I am aware,” Bonnie muttered. Running a hand down her face, she grimaced. “You can look at my phone for evidence later. But, Caroline. You’ve lived in New York for six months. You have a super cute closet for an apartment. I have pictures of that to prove it.”

“I…” her words died at the sincerity on Bonnie’s face. Blowing out a breath, because Bonnie Bennett would never lie about something like this, she cast her thoughts back and slowly nodded, relief heady. “Okay. Yeah. This spring. I remember packing my things in my rental and mom looking both relieved and tired.”

“Yeah, she’s wanted you to spread your wings for a few years. After the bout with cancer, you were being stubborn.” A lifted brow. “It was such a surprise. You. Being stubborn.”

Caroline gave her a disapproving look. “Do you have to say that like it's a bad thing?”

A small smile touched the edge of Bonnie’s mouth. “I guess it depends on what you are being stubborn about. Do you remember that big fancy PR party you were being forced to go to about six week ago?”

“No,” the word was said with great reluctance. “I feel like I should though.”

“Oh, you definitely should.” Bonnie drawled. “I didn’t attend and I know a great deal more about it than I would like. Clothes, shoes, departmental involvement and the dick from accounting who spends way too much time looking at your ass. Your boss, who insisted you go because she keeps thinking if she plays nice you’ll one day introduce her to your ex-werewolf boyfriend.”

Caroline did not want to talk about Tyler. “Your point, Bon?”

“You don’t remember Klaus.”

The name tugged something in her chest, a sense of awareness she couldn’t name, and Caroline frowned in concentration. “Who is Klaus?”

“The Black Dragon of New York.” At Caroline’s blank expression Bonnie sighed heavily. “Well, that confirms some of it at least.”

“Bonnie…”

“You moved to New York six months ago with a job offer for a Public Relations firm that specializes in supernatural reputations.” Her lips twisted in something like an amused grimace. “Your… history with witches and werewolves left you overqualified for the entry level position, as did your original internship in Chicago.”

Caroline pursed her lips. “By overqualified, that better be a comment on my personal awesomeness and not that they hired me because I dated a werewolf. That would have annoyed me. Why didn’t I remember that? I should have remembered that.”

“Because you don’t remember Klaus.”

Which made absolutely no sense to Caroline.

“Do I need to open wine? There was quite a collection that I am going to have no qualms drinking if that would absolutely help me understand the words you are saying.” Caroline threw her arms open wide. “I’m sure whoever lives here can afford it.”

“Spirits, if I thought it would help, I’d have brought tequila.” Bonnie looked heavenward and slouched backwards, something like gallows humor darkening her face. “Klaus Mikaelson is a dragon. A black dragon, specifically. He has been on top of the food chain for centuries, Caroline. He picked New York as his seat of power this century because he was bored in Europe. When he got here, he ate half the witch council, flattened three werewolf tribes, and casually made alliances with the necromages as if they were cute but annoying pets. He owns New York. He rules North America with a very, very short temper. Hell, I think he built this tower to his exact specifications because he now lives exactly one foot higher than every other building in New York. You would not believe how that man likes to lord over people.”

Caroline tried to recall the differences in dragon color and why that might be important and came up blank. “You’d think I’d know who he was with my job description,” she said faintly. “That seems like the kind of detail I would pick up on. And did you say this tower?”

Was there a floor above her? She hadn’t really spent a lot of time looking out the windows. She should have located the elevator and checked to see if it listed the number of floors. Figure out which one she was on. Something to do later then. 

“This tower. But more importantly, you’d probably have remembered that you tossed your drink in his face six weeks ago at said PR Party.” Bonnie’s expression grew even more pained. “I’m told the flowers he sent you after that were very nice.”

Caroline tried to suck in air. “I did what now?”

Bonnie nodded, motioning with her hand towards the bedroom. “Two days ago, you went on what I’m pretty sure was your third date. And you apparently stayed over.”

Eyes widening comically, Caroline glanced around the apartment again, trying to comprehend was she was seeing with new eyes. “Bonnie Bennett, I would remember fucking a dragon.”

Bonnie snorted, slapping a hand over her mouth as she visibly struggled not to laugh. Her shoulders shook, breath escaping in faint, choking noises. 

“This is not funny,” Caroline rasped, launching to her feet. Meeting her best friends watering eyes, she waved her hands dramatically around them. “You are telling me that I have been sleeping in Klaus Mikaelson’s bed for at least two days? And no one has been here to chuck me out? He hasn’t asked me to leave? Did he go on vacation? If he bailed on me like that and didn’t even so much as leave a note, I don’t care how hot he is, that was probably our last date.” Her eyes narrowed. “I even packed my cutest underwear. He did not deserve them.”

“You can keep the underwear thing to yourself,” Bonnie said hastily, voice still trembling with laughter. She cleared her throat, and tried again. “And to answer your question, no one knows where he is. That’s the problem. Forty-eight hours ago, the witch council announced they had successfully overthrown his hold on the city. Two hours later, you called me and said you couldn’t remember where you were or how you got here, but you had a really strong feeling that you shouldn’t leave.”

Caroline sat back down slowly. “What does that mean?”

Bonnie shook her head. “I don’t know. But what I do know isn’t… great.”

Caroline tried to smile. “That’s not really comforting.”

Bonnie ignored her. 

“Klaus brought you back here, to his… for lack of better word, lair. You probably had sex.” Bonnie’s nose wrinkled, but she kept going. “Dragons are possessive at best, Caroline. I don’t know what is going on between the two of you, but it took him over a month to sweet talk you into a date and yet you are keyed heavily enough into his wards that you were able to invite me, a witch, into his home without either of us getting fried.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. You also feel safe enough here that you didn’t bolt home in a walk-of-shame after waking up alone and suffering from amnesia. ” Her eyes were solemn, not a hint of tease on her face. “Whatever spell was used, it has wiped Klaus from your memory and life so thoroughly you don’t have so much as a text or picture linking back to him. So either you were caught up in the crossfire of the spell that took him out or the entirety of New York has also forgotten him. And none of those options are good ones.”

Caroline swallowed past her suddenly very dry mouth. “What does that mean?”

“I have no idea,” Bonnie said with a sigh. “But his magic is here, you're here. Which means he is alive and we are probably going to have to find him. And we will have to be careful, because if anyone from the council realizes that you’re probably the key to finding him, they’ll try to kill us. I’m already not super popular with some of the older factions, I cannot see this helping matters.”

“What, wait?” Caroline said up straight. “Why do we have to find him? Aren’t there other people who can do that? Didn’t you just say he rules this city? Surely he has like, minions or something that can do the heavy lifting?”

“If only.” Bonnie nodded towards her wrist. “But why us? Because you’re wearing his magic, Care. And while I definitely do not approve of dating a dragon, no matter what I think about it, there is no way his magic would cling to you if you hadn’t agreed to it. Probably. Which means when you aren’t dealing with a weird jedi mind wipe, you care about him. For some reason. And the Caroline I know doesn’t leave people behind.”

Caroline glanced down at her wrist and swallowed hard. Now that Bonnie had pointed it out, she could see the gold shimmer of a mark she couldn’t decipher beneath the familiar blue swallow on her right wrist. That mark felt… right. Familiar, as if she should have known it was there the entire time. Blowing out a breath, she glanced back at Bonnie’s unhappy face and grimaced. 

“I bet we can find tequila if we look hard enough.”

[yfere]

Shipping Calculus! Live Updates from C2E57

In which the M9  have the most intense non-combat episode. Light, save me from this madness. Masterpost here. This week, we have

+5 to Matt/Mispronunciation “Siggel” returns! YES!!!!

+18 to Caleb/Caduceus as Caduceus is the first to very emphatically endorse Caleb’s choice with the dodecahedron, saying “I am proud of you” and “You made the right call.” Caduceus also getting very pumped about Caleb’s “Let’s Stop The War” idea, all “Destiny? Destiny? Is this your destiny??? That’s so wonderful!!!!” How for some reason Caduceus thinks Caleb is the person he’s supposed to convince that keeping the favors from the Bright Queen in the Bag of Holding is a good idea. Like, that can be a group conversation Caduceus, you don’t just need Caleb’s approval.

+2 to Jester/Essik “I think that you’re very handsome and we should be friends” says Jester, and Essik is very flattered and pleased.

+2 to Caduceus/Essik “You seem like a man of taste,” Caduceus says, doing that Grinning Thing He Does because Caduceus is a Big Flirt. “I like him,” he says. I think I know what that means, but unfortunately this flirting, while more sincere than Jester’s seemed to fly a little bit more over Essik’s head.

+10 to Caduceus/Pissing In the Wind which gets a little racy when you consider that Caduceus worships nature. This a golden showers thing?

-5 to Yeza/Food—in which his gorging makes actual boning unfeasible.

+8,800,000 to Nott/Yeza HOLDS HER. DOESN’T CARE ABOUT HER BEING A GOBLIN. COMMEMORATIVE TATTOOS. “SHE’S ALWAYS BEEN AMAZING.” “MY WIFE IS A MERCENARY THAT’S SO COOL.” JOINING HER TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR DKSJKBKSABBJKGRBUWEIH;WEIWEKWsASNJKDABJhi HIWEWEhiabkdvjb  K KI OWKSAFJX,WH’H FJKBEBJGKU ;w; lhelh

+25 to Beau/Jester as Beau makes sure Jester knows that if the circumstances were different, the harness thing might have been enjoyable. Also, having Jester’s feet on her back was a little funny. Jester saying “You look so pretty though” about Beau--in the harness? That’s what the notes say. Holy shit. Beau going out of her way to acquire the BEST ROOM for her and Jester in the inn, and stanning Jester’s detective skills to Fjord. And lest we forget, Beau and Jester learning that maybe Jester doesn’t exactly have the most accurate idea of love, but Jester turning to Beau as someone she can talk to (and maybe learn from?) about it. Beau. Beau. Teach her. 

+30 to Fjord/Caleb as despite Fjord’s unease with their situation and reluctance to Dive Headfirst Into The War like Caleb, he still finds himself Beyond Charmed by Caleb’s awkward stanning of Nott to Yeza, Nott’s #1 fan. Caleb supporting Fjord’s bid for free food, saying “Fjord, I believe the words used were ‘Heroes of the Dynasty.’” Caleb sneakily finagling his way into getting them to room together with a ridiculous excuse about Caduceus being So Tall he needs to share a room with the Second Tallest Person, meaning Caleb just Has To Room With Fjord, This Is Entirely A Practical Matter It’s Not Like I’ve Ever Tried To Make This Happen Before. Caleb attempting a little callback, letting Fjord know he ~~~appreciates~~~ Fjord and is inspired by all the crazy risktaking that Fjord represents. And somehow, not realizing that saying “Sometimes you have to get a little crazy” while you’re in bed, in a room alone with someone has very specific implications. Fjord saying “What, right now??” in response, like he’s Surprised but Not Against it, and sticking his face in his hands in Peak Embarrassment when he finds out Caleb did not mean what he thought he meant. Fjord thanking Caleb, which gains an extra point because Fjord did it by referring to Caleb’s balls. Points taken away because Caleb did not set up the Alarm in their shared room while naked, even though everyone else at the table really wanted him to.

+3 to Caleb/Hopebringer It turns out Caleb actually super duper likes being called a big fat hero. The last time he was this pleased with himself was after he and the crew just murdered a slavers’ den—here, Caleb channels his inner bard by screeching about how they’re all “Heroes of the Dynasty” and “Heroes of the Empire (soon)” to everyone who will listen. Beau also solidifies (albeit with sarcasm) that Caleb has a cool Hero Name now as “Hopebringer,” which sounds like a badass sword. Please keep the title.

+5 to Beau/Leylas as Beau’s arguments against mass murder to the Bright Queen are met with a “coy grin,” followed by Beau apologizing for being “too forward” followed by the Bright Queen saying she’s very “surprising” My…..my god the subtext.

+1 to Jester/Leylas as Jester joins the Caduceus Clay School of excessively admiring a person’s armor when what you really mean is that you find the person underneath the armor super attractive

+8 to Caleb/Jester as in the face of Jester’s ire Caleb reassures her that he will bring her back to her mother should she ever want it, and Jester believing him (and Caleb perfecting the spell to do just that that very evening). Caleb smiling when Jester ribs him about his sour face while he talks about being hopeful. Caleb supporting Jester’s quest for desserts and pastries, asking for the “local special” for her and apparently joining the Caduceus Clay School of showing love by making sure people are well fed.

+8 to Jester/Fjord as Jester is the first to notice Fjord’s quiet unhappiness and encourages him to talk about it when it looks like he won’t to keep the peace. Defending Fjord from Nott’s barbs, saying “Don’t make Fjord cry!” Fjord’s playfulness and shrugging off his concerns when he says “I’m just suspicious” but Jester reassuring him his feelings are valid and make sense, even though she personally likes and is inclined to trust the Bright Queen.

+4 to Caduceus/Fjord as Fjord is thrown by Caduceus’ extremely dark and very cheerfully delivered humor. Caduceus reassuring Fjord that they have more chances to learn the things Fjord wants to know now than before, and also reprimanding Nott for making fun of Fjord—”You’re making fun of his tennis wrist, come on.” As a guy with a wonky knee he can probably relate to Fjord’s struggles.

+3 to Caleb/Leadership as whatever Caduceus says about not there not being leaders in the Mighty Nein, he still treats Caleb as if he were in charge. Caleb continuing his pattern where he tells everyone who is going to be roommates with who—why he’s so interested in directing the M9 sleeping arrangements is, uh, an interesting thing to consider.

-5 to Caleb/Plot Relevant Magic. Despite Caleb’s wide eyed wonder “That’s fascinating” at dunamancy, when Nott tries to get him spells he immediately derails the conversation to talk about WE MUST SAVE THE CITIZENS OF THE EMPIRE FROM NEEDLESS WAR, and when Beau is like “so don’t you want this time magic stuff” he immediately starts going off about WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO JUST MURDER THE CERBERUS ASSEMBLY AND SAVE THE EMPIRE FROM THEM. Mind not too focused on the magic now, huh?

+1 to Jester/Tattoos She………gets to tattoo? The quality though………….

+2 to Fjord/Detective Work as he asks the most relevant Ljore Questions about what the Krynn are and believe, earning some brownie points with the Bright Queen in the process. Also following up on the Ghostlands question and emphatically deciding Not To Go There, though we all know that the next job they take is going to be in that exact location.

+100 to yfere/The Luxon because I personally want to convert to this religion, warts and all

-50 to Sam Riegel/Anatomy So the reason this shipping calculus was delayed was because I did, in fact, destroy my laptop to protect my eyes from the return of the Goblin Boob Miming. NOT ONLY THAT, but miming putting on the perfume in Certain Locations……NOT ONLY THAT but the “square peg in a round hole” comment………….I hate him. I hate him.

[goron-king-darunia]

Annon-Guy: I know you're an Emil X Richter fan, but how would Emil doing do what Yuji in Shana's body to Wilhelmina do the same to Richter?

Love is a central theme in DotNW, and Richter, as a half-elf, was pushed around a lot. To the point he hated humans. Across all the media I’ve seen, I’ve never once seen anyone tell Richter that he’s loved, let alone tell him to his face that they love him. Aqua is the closest we get, but it’s not shown anywhere that she confesses this to him. In fact, the game makes heavy use of the theme of characters only mentioning their love for one another after it’s too late. The only characters that say they love each other, on screen, before they die (or in Aqua’s case, get turned into a core) are Emil and Marta. Their love story is seen as a success. And how are they different from Alice and Decus? Richter and Aster? Richter and Aqua? Emil and Marta get to confess their love. While the Richter/Aster part is a headcanon, even if they’re only friends, it’s clear Richter’s determination to bring Aster back is a form of love that I doubt he expressed very often before Aster died. For Aqua, she only says she loves Richter when you defeat her and turn her into a core. Decus makes no secret of his love for Alice, but Alice never admits she loves Decus until the very last minute. Love is a powerful force in both games. Lloyd’s love for Colette, whether you interpret it as platonic or romantic, is the main driving force that changes the course of the story. Richter’s love for Aster, similarly, however you interpret it, is ALSO what sets the main story in motion. Ratatosk’s love for his tree is also a driving force as well. And Emil and Marta’s love is implied to be why, in the good ending, Marta is able to tell that Emil is putting on an act when he pretends to be Ratatosk. What I’m trying to get at is that outward, mutual, spoken confessions of love are treated as this very precious thing in DotNW. And I suspect that Richter never really got to hear the words “I love you” from anyone. So while it wouldn’t be the exact reaction Wilhelmina gave, I think if Emil had just stopped and said he loved Richter, even if he didn’t really mean it (though it’s clear from some of the skits that Emil does have at least a KIND of love for Richter, maybe not romantic but he definitely cares for Richter.) I think Richter would have stopped in his tracks.  It’s also important to note that I’m also pulling heavily from the main theme in “Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon” where love, especially vocal proclamations of love, are treated as a huge, all-important, powerful, defining moment. Part of the way the villain of the game, Shin, is defeated, is when he’s told he is loved. As cheesy as “Love Conquers All” sentiments are, I really think that Fragile Dreams did a great job with that, and I think something similar would have been way cute for DotNW. Although that’s probably because I ship Richter and Emil, but I also think it would have potentially worked with Aqua if Aqua had finally stood up to Richter and told him his quest for revenge was wrong and was obviously hurting him more than it was fixing anything.  Honestly, it just boils down to the fact that I don’t think Richter feels like he could ever be loved and Aster was one of the first and only people to show him any sort of love, which is why he’s so focused on Aster and so blind to the affection Aqua and Emil obviously have for him. And I think if he was made more aware of the fact that he is loved and cared for that he’d be a little less ruthless in his pursuit of justice for Aster. Though, with the final battle, I guess its pretty possible he’d already be committed to his final stand and wouldn’t take that kind of confession seriously. But even during the final battle, as shown in deleted voice recordings, Richter did have dialogue for impossible versions of the final battle where you can have members of the original Symphonia crew in the fight with you that imply, as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he’s reluctant to fight, especially against Genis and Raine, who he cares about as fellow half-elves. Even at the end, despite the tough talk, he expresses regret and hesitation at having to fight Raine and Genis even though he says his feelings won’t get in the way of his goals.  I just feel like if Richter was told at the right moment that he’s loved, he might have stopped doing everything he was doing way sooner and ASKED FOR HELP.  Like, honestly, I’m disappointed Marta and Richter couldn’t have had some soft interactions because, like, Marta knows what it’s like to lose someone. Or Rilena. It’s implied Richter can’t face Rilena because he feels bad about his failure to protect Aster for her, but like, honestly, she also probably would have been a great help. Or, hell, Aqua. Richter surrounds himself with all these kind girls who’d totally be able to help him out and he just... doesn’t even think to ask them for emotional support. And like, I know this would play into a huge trope of women shouldering mens’ emotional burdens but like... Does Aselia not have therapy? IDK man, this probably sounds like a bad take because it’s no one’s responsibility to fix Richter, but like... he’s got all these friends and potential friends and he still builds up this huge fucking wall and Emil’s the only one he even lets close despite Aqua being RIGHT THERE THE WHOLE TIME. Like, IDK my messages are getting too mixed here but what I mean to say is: Since Emil is the only person Richter really shows his vulnerabilities to (in the game canon at least) it feels like Emil would be the ideal person to try to break Richter out of his bad behavior since Emil genuinely cares for Richter, and Richter seems like he's only letting himself be vulnerable with Emil because Emil is in the incredibly unique position of LOOKING JUST LIKE ASTER.  IDK, it also plays really badly with the glamorous idea that if you just love someone hard enough, they’ll stop doing bad things, but like... harmful tropes aside I genuinely think Richter deserves to be loved and that part of the reason he doesn’t feel like he IS loved even though he definitely is is because he’s a dense motherfucker and doesn’t understand the love being shown to him by Emil, Aqua, and probably Rilena.  IDK man, this is all just me rambling. I’m like, super soft for the kind of stuff where the villain is defeated by love. Fragile Dreams, Earthbound, all that jazz. And it would make me really happy if Richter could know he’s loved.

[cat-with-a-tie]

A DenNor analysis of sorts

Hello, sweet chirping crickets! I’ve been shipping this ship for literal years now but have never plucked up the courage to actually interact with anyone or anything, so I’ve no idea why I’m doing it now, in the year of our Lord 2019, but hey, it’s never too late to get dragged back into aph hell.

I plan on posting a series of long ass rants that absolutely no one asked for in which I attempt to discuss the dynamics of DenNor and the Nordic characters in general, drawing mainly on Himaruya’s portrayal, historical facts, and my own headcanons, so welcome to the first installation of Stuff Nobody Really Cares About that I Wrote in a Fit of Boredom and Self-indulgence!

Before we start, if anyone’s reading this at all then please bear in mind that this is mostly just IMHO. And since there’s no correct way to ship a pairing (this cannot be stressed enough), my interpretation is just that—my personal interpretation, and it is by no means impartial because there’s definitely a healthy dose of my own preferences in there. Actually, I haven’t got any mutuals to talk to at the moment, so if my interpretation’s terrible, by all means go on and yell at me, I will love you to death for it.

In this post I’m going to rant about Norway’s personality (or his lack of it, thereof; don’t worry I’ll get to it later), with just a tiny segment on Denmark thrown in the mix, because hey, I do need to sleep.

“Anko” and its implications for Norway’s character

So, as most people probably already know, in the Japanese version Norway calls Denmark “anko”. In the Northeastern dialect he speaks, this is something like a diminutive form of “big brother” or “boss” (yes, Norway calls Denmark big brother!). In East Asian cultures, it is commonplace for younger men to address older ones (related or not) by honorifics ranging from super courteous to super casual, such as “aniki” in Japanese, “hyung” in Korean, and “da-ge” or “ge” in Mandarin. “Anko” also falls under this category, although it is still more casual than the more ubiquitous “aniki”. I struggle to convey its exact denotations in English, but all you need to know is that this is an affectionate way of addressing a man older than you.

But here’s a funny thing: Himaruya once stated that Denmark and Norway are “like classmates” （同級生）. Now, the Japanese term actually has a somewhat different meaning from the English one; “doukyuusei” does not strictly refer to people who are/were in the same class, but to people who belong in the same school year and therefore, in most cases, share the same age. This actually makes sense, because if we consider history, up until the 14th century or so the three Scandinavian kingdoms developed at much the same pace, so it would be reasonable to assume (despite Himaruya’s being abominably vague on nation mechanism) that the characters are of similar ages as well.

Why, then, does Himaruya have Norway refer to Denmark, who should be about the same age as he is, as “anko”? The thing is, aside from denoting age difference, this sort of honorific can also denote a difference in status. Even if someone is not significantly older than you, you may still refer to them with an honorific if you feel their status is above you or wish to pay them respect in an affectionate way.

So, consider this: Norway does not disrespect or look down on Denmark at all, in fact, he respects him enough to call him something akin to “boss” or “older brother”. Bear in mind that this is Norway we’re talking about, Norway of the onii-chan obsession! There’s no doubt that he sees a great deal of significance in this sort of thing, otherwise he wouldn’t be so bent on having Iceland address him as such. And he calls Denmark “big brother”. Just… just take a minute to let that sink in, will ya.

So this brings us to the main subject of my essay, and that is that Norway, for all his sass, is a bit of a doormat.

Now, before anyone starts yelling at me about how his people are perhaps the most fiercely patriotic out of all the Nordic countries, please let me finish my theory. You don’t get independence after centuries of being a glorified trophy bride and not feel the need to vent all that pent up frustration, after all.

First, if you look at strips such as the Denmark vs. Sweden frozen lake fiasco, you’ll see that Norway basically goes along with anything Denmark does, even when he’s actions are outright harebrained (and, to be fair, they often were). He might nag, and he might throw in a word or two of complaints, but at the end of the day Denmark calls the shots, and Norway seems pretty content to let him do so, even when sometime it’s him who has to bear the consequences of Denmark’s brashness (historically, during the many conflicts between Denmark and Sweden, many of which Denmark initiated, Sweden would often bypass Denmark and invade Norway instead, since its lack of military prowess meant that Norway could be used as leverage to force Denmark into accepting all sorts of outrageous conditions; meanwhile, any sort of military action Denmark engaged in was exceptionally taxing—no pun intended—on Norway due to its small population and frequent food shortages). 

Also keep in mind that compared to the strips set in modern times, Norway’s treatment of Denmark was considerably milder in the medieval era. My theory is that his attitude towards Denmark only soured after the chain of events that eventually lead to his independence in the 19th century, buuut that’s an essay for another time! Right now I’d like to discuss a personality trait of Norway’s that fascinates me a lot and directly ties into his tendency to be pushed around: his standoffishness.

This is a character inclined to keep on the sidelines and just watch things unfold, even when said events concern his very own person. He doesn’t seem to give a fig when Denmark and Sweden are fighting to the death—hell, not even when they are fighting over him, something that happened a lot in history.

Now, I can think of two main reasons for this passiveness, the first being that Norway, unlike Denmark, probably knows his own limitations to a degree that I believe must have been painful for him at times (not that he shows it, anyway). Although of course being able to see and communicate with magical creatures could result in one being a little less interested in the mortal realm, I find it unlikely that he was always this disengaged. He was once a Viking, after all, and up until the 13th century his kingdom was arguably the most powerful and expansive in all of Scandinavia.

But then, of course, came the Black Death. Norway’s decline in the late Middle Ages was in fact facilitated by a myriad of factors including civil war, incompetent politicians, and either a shortage or a surplus of kings, but having three quarters of its population decimated by the plague was perhaps the heaviest blow of all, and by the time the Kalmar Union took place the prospects of competing with Denmark or Sweden were pretty bleak.

From there on was what 19th century Norwegian nationalist poet Wergeland dubbed the “four hundred years of night”. Although most modern historians agree that Norway was far from destitute under Danish rule and may even have benefitted considerably from it, in terms of Norway’s development as a character, I reckon it could be said that he was, in fact, shrouded in night. The night in question, however, as opposed to being a symbol of Danish tyranny as Wergeland probably intended it to be, would be more of a metaphor for Norway’s own willingness to “fall asleep”, thereby shutting out a world in which he knew he has no say. In this way, he turned a blind eye on Denmark’s ill-fated endeavors, on Sweden’s budding ambition, on the animosity brewing between his two friends, and probably even on Denmark’s mistreatment of him.

During the Kalmar Union, he must have known that he was the weakest of the three kingdoms, and that it was better to just let things take their course instead of joining the fight for hegemony along with Sweden and Denmark. During the union with Denmark, he knew too that life would be far easier if he just went along with things; after all, he knew Denmark, he knew he was stubborn and that he would stop at nothing to get what he wanted. He also knew that Denmark meant well and that, despite everything, he cared a great deal for his family, as shown in the tax raise strip where Norway tells Denmark that “[it’s OK] because you’re trying your best”. 

It’s possible that Norway also derived some degree of consolation from Denmark’s affection, in that even though as nations they stood on uneven ground, as friends and as people he could still trust Denmark to have his best interests at heart. Also, by telling himself that he and Denmark were “in this boat together”, Norway could avoid the sense of relative deprivation that arose from being a nation in an unequal union, and subsequently avoid feeling resentment towards Denmark, whom he’s always cared for and perhaps even looked up to despite everything. His referring to Denmark as “anko” despite being roughly the same age as him can perhaps be interpreted as a sign of this (arguably unwarranted) trust.

So in short, a prolonged sense of powerlessness led Norway to become emotionally detached as a form of defense mechanism, while affection for his childhood friend made him reluctant to put his foot down when Denmark’s arrogance and blind optimism threatened to get out of hand. All this serves to expedite the standoffishness I mentioned earlier that is typical of his character.

Thus, if we accept the theory (note the italics) of Denmark once upon a time being abusive, I personally find it plenty believable that Norway would just, well, lie back and take it. In part because he cares deeply for Denmark and is dependent on him in a bit of an unhealthy way (there’s already a wonderfully insightful post right here on tumblr addressing Norway’s shyness and how his trust in Denmark sometimes manifests as crassness, so I’m not gonna go into that here), and in part because he knows being submissive is the path of least resistance. Taking whatever Denmark the person inflicts on him would still be far more ideal than going to war with or losing the support of Denmark the nation. So yeah, lie back and think of yourself, I guess.

In this regard Norway’s mentality is drastically different from that of Denmark and Sweden’s, which is that one should always fight a losing battle if the alternative is being trod on. He acts more according to strategy, while the other two act more according to pride and passion. The upside is that, being more pragmatic and knowing his limits, he knows better where and how to deploy his strengths; the downside is that he can at times come off as a bit of a pushover.

Incidentally, this is why I find WWII history to be so damn interesting in terms of the Nordic’s characterisations, because we get to see the Viking Trio seemingly go against everything that had until then defined their personalities. To be fair, this is way after all that fucked up shit with the treaties of Fredrikshamn and Kiel, which I consider a major turning point (or mental growth spur, if you will) for all five Nordics, so I reckon it all still kind of makes sense because of the wonderful mechanics of character development? But then again, that’s an essay for another time!

A bit on Denmark

I like to think of Denmark’s behaviour during his youth as the result of a misguided desire to “play house”—out of love for his family (arguably for Norway in particular) he wishes to keep them safe, and what better way to do that than keeping them all under his wing? Sure, I’m ready to believe at least some part of him was fueled by bloodlust and a thirst for power, as is often the case with nations, but in general he simply didn’t know better.

In the mean time, Norway’s docile compliance did nothing to curb this misconception; worst case scenario, it only served to fuel it, make Denmark feel like he really was the leader and that it was his obligation to be in charge for the sake of them both. I consider their relationship in this time period to be quite toxic, even though related strips show them to be closer than ever.

For me, a significant part of Denmark’s character development is him realising that the happiness of his loved ones should not have to depend on him, and that one can be loved without being needed (in terms of DenNor, it’s him learning to love Norway as an equal and not just someone to be protected/coddled).

For Norway it’s the opposite—he learns to regain control over his own life, to stand up for himself and to love Denmark without taking any bullshit from him.

[koltarmi]

Things I liked/noticed about Amélie the Musical UK

Before the show:

• A friend and I watched Amélie at The Watermill Theatre in Newbury, which is absolutely tiny. (Picture below) It seats about 200 people and is in the middle of no where. It was a hour’s walk from Newbury Station, but he scenery was quite nice. We got two seats in the front and they were cheap (about £26) because there was a pole, but it was so skinny it didnt block anything.

• Because it was in the middle of nowhere, the surrounding area was beautiful and nothing like a traditional theatre. There was a nearby stream and everyone was sitting on on these iron park benches and just enjoying the view.

• The theatre and stage is tiny. So tiny it makes the theatre that I work at which only seats 50 people look like Carnegie Hall.

• The cast : Audrey Brisson as Amélie, Chris Jared as Nino, Johnson Willis as Collignon/Dufayel, Kate Robson Stuart as Suzanne, Sioned Saunders as Gina, Faoileann Cunningham as Georgette/Sylvia, Oliver Grant as Lucien/Mysterious Man, Caolan McCarthy as Hippolito/Elton John, Samuel Morgan-Grahame as Joseph/Fluffy, Josh Sneesby as Blind Beggar/Gnome, Jez Unwim as Raphael/Bretodeau

• Here’s the set:

ACT ONE

• The show starts with the subway light effect and a transit announcement in French.

• I really hope the UK cast records an album and that it includes the “Everybody’s Connected” song because I love it.

• All the actors spoke with a French accent and used French words when saying hello, goodbye, thank you and etc.

• So instead of having a child actor play young Amélie they used a puppet controlled by the guy who plays Lucien while Audrey provides the voice. And holy shit the puppet was terrifying. It had Dora the explorer choppy hair and had this wooden sheen. It also had the ability to blink which added to the creepiness factor.

• Because of the limited space the actors played their own instruments, ocasionally switching off with someone else when they were in the scene.

• The photo booth doubles as a door frame, the background of the sex shop, and a confessional booth in Notre Dame. The large sign that says “Photo Booth” has a light inside that turns on and which makes the inside of the booth visible from the outside and it looked super cool.

• Instead of it being a tourist from Brussels being on top of Notre Dame, they go back to a tourist from Quebec like in the film. The actor stood on top of the photo booth Instead of jumping, the tourist shoots himself and falls on to a crash mat, killing Amadine.

• Amélie describes her mother’s death using the word “squish’

• As they transition scenes, they straight up drag Amadine’s body off stage and it is hilarious.

• The garden gnome is used as an urn for Amadine’s ashes. Like they literally pour her ashes from the urn into the gnome.

• “Times Are Hard For Dreamers” was moved from the first act to the second act and is after “No Place like Gnome”

• I really want “Going Around Circles” to be in the album and I hate that it isn’t cause it’s a bop.

• Hippolito and Joseph smoke while in The Two Windmills, giving it a more Paris vibe

• A bit off topic, but I went to the Two Windmills cafe in France. The food is so good. If you’re a fan of the movie, I definitely reccomend you visit! (Some photos included below.)

• The guy who flirts with Amélie in the cafe leaves his number on a receipt. As she cleans up his table, she stuffs the receipt into her mouth.

• After, Suzanne invites Amélie to go our for drinks with her, Gina, and Georgette, but Amélie refuses.

• The two pianos on stage convert into Georgette’s tobacco counter and the market where Collignon and Lucien work.

• The clock at the top doubles as Amélie’s apartment. The face of the clock slides open into two doors. There aren’t actually any stairs so to get up there, a pulley with a lampshade is dropped down and Audrey just grabs onto it and swings into the apartment. I kept getting nervous every time she went up because the pulley moved so fast, even though it says in her bio that she grew up doing several Cirque du Soleil shows.

• Speaking of Audrey Brisson, SHE IS SO TINY AND I LOVE HER. Like I’m a pretty short person and she was shorter than me.

• Dufayel has the camera to see the outside world like he did in the film.

• One thing they added was at the beginning if each scene they stated the date, time and occasionally the weather, humidity and etc which is a callback to the film. The whole story of Amélie (by which I mean the events that happen within the show) takes course over three months.

• Chris Jared, who played Nino was HOT, in my opinion at least. The headshots were in black and white in the program, so I didn’t know he was older until I saw a few grey hairs, but he was still super hot in a DILF kinda way.

• They make it clear that Collignon hates figs which is why he gets annoyed when Lucien sings “Three Figs”. He’s so disgusted by figs that he vomits in his hat before putting it back on.

• When Amélie starts her quest to do good deeds, she calls Suzanne and asks for a day off. Suzanne agrees and asks slyly, “What’s his name?” Amélie replies with, “Dominique Bredoteau.”

• They included the scene where Amélie goes door to door looking for Bredoteau, another callback to the film.

• Due to the inaccessibility of the second floor besides the lampshade pulley, if a character needed to stand out, they would climb and stand on top of the photo booth. Amélie stood on it in “Tour de France” and Nino stands on it during “When the Booth Goes Bright”

• When Amélie calls Bretodeau, the phone is held by an ensemble member who makes the ringing noise. When he picks it up, the light in the photo booth turns on, revealing Amélie wearing a scarf around her head and a pair of sunglasses as she speaks to him.

• Before “Goodbye Amélie”, as the report of Princess Diana turns into one of her fantasies, Amélie reaches into the TV and puts on a sparkling tiara as Elton John enters.

• She stands on top of the two pianos placed back to back as they serenade her. At the very end of the sing, she lies down across them with her arms crossed and her tiara on her chest as she winks at the audience.

• There’s actually an intermission.

ACT TWO

• It starts with everyone on the subway. Amélie and Nino are on the opposite end of the train car and they sing a lovely duet. I don’t remember the exact lyrics, but there was metaphor of being lost at sea hinting at “Halfway”. I love the song and I need it in a cast album.

• At the end of the song Nino, stands in front of the audience as if exiting a subway car and Amélie sees him, but she immediately sinks into her seat so that he doesn’t see her.

• Nino leaves his photo album on top of the photo booth when he goes to catch his last train. Audrey Brisson is so small that even on her tip toes she couldn’t reach the top of the booth, so she climbed the door frame of the booth to reach the album.

• During intermission, the grocery stall is replaced with a display case full of different sizes and colors of dildos fo the sex shop scene.

• In the scene where Nino laments the loss of his photo album, (“years of his best work” as he calls it) his coworker is polishing a large black dildo with a cloth.

• Audrey plays the piano as she sings “Halfway” and its absolutely beautiful, so much so that I had tears in my eyes and I got a tattoo inspired by the song in Amsterdam.

• What isn’t beautiful is the return of the Young Amélie puppet during “Halfway” who is visible through grown-up Amélie’s clock apartment.

• She calls Nino from her seat on the piano bench while he’s standing behind the piano, which I thought was brilliant staging. It shows how strong their connection was, but despite that, there was still an obstacle preventing them from meeting each other which was Amélie’s reluctance to reach out to him.

• She leaves him with the riddle of solving Xeno’s paradox along with a photo strip of her dressed in a Zorro costume, which is another callback to the film.

• They also narrate Amélie forging a letter from Gina’s late husband. She does so by taking some of the letters he wrote her before Amélie returning the box of letters to Gina.

• Collignon comes into the cafe, complaining about Lucien. Seeing a chance to get back at him, Amélie serves him a fig tart. As Collignon becomes sick, three people wearing nightmare fig costumes bust out of the photo booth and haunt him. The lights around him and the cafe go dark and turn nightmarish meanwhile Amélie is brightly lit in the downstage left corner by the cigarette counter, as she leisurely unwraps a mint and pops it into her mouth. Collignon is shaken out of his fig nightmare when Lucien enters the café to grab his attention. Collignon admits as a young man he wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer, but his mother wanted him to be a grocer and so he became one despite having no love for it. The reason he is so mean to Lucien is because he sees how much care and love Lucien takes when handling the produce that it makes him bitter. He apologizes to Lucien. Lucien replies he has no idea what he’s talking about and offers to close up the shop for Collignon, who agrees and says that Lucien is a good boy. I love this addition as it doesn’t sweep Lucien and Collignon’s plotline under the rug like the Broadway production does. It’s addressed and resolved before the end of the show.

• After the fig-induced nightmare sequence, Raphael rushes in to the cafe in distress. Instead of going into “No Place Like Gnome” they pause the scene in the cafe.

• They narrate that 275 km away Nino posts flyers of Amelié in the Zorro costume around the city and they move into “Thin Air” instead. Nino comes in from the side of the clock and stands on top of the photo booth. Again because of the limited space, the posters are just stuck around the metal framing of the clock.

• They return back to the café after “Thin Air”. After “No Place Like Gnome” as Amélie spray paints Hippolito’s quote below the clock, she notices the posters and panics ripping one off, but leaves the rest hanging. A took a picture of the set at the end of the show.

• Amelié sends another photo strip to Nino writing, “It has come to my attention that you are looking for me. This Friday. 5pm. Montmartre Carousel. Bring five francs.”

• Amelié wears the Zorro costume in “Blue Arrow Suite”. The ensemble acted as the carousel and had blue arrows on the back of their instruments or on them. For those playing smaller instruments, they wore blue gloves and pointed towards the next “arrow”. The top of the hill was the photo booth and Nino pulls a red stand of binoculars out of fucking nowhere.

• Joseph says Georgette looks lovely when she’s flushed. She replies she’s flushed because of her gluten intolerance.

• When Nino and Amelié are set to meet at the cafe, the airline hostess is one of the customers there and joins in signing “A Better Haircut”

• They cut out the line where Nino says he loves Amelié and doesnt even know her name in “A Better Haircut” and I’m honestly so glad they did that. It works so much better Instead it just goes, “But you know I think she understands me/ I don’t know why she would understand/She may not even feel the same/But I don’t even know her name” with the “She may not even feel the same” part being dragged out a bit more.

• Georgette gets Hippolito to write down Amelié’s address on a page in his notebook that he tips out and gives to him.

• As Amelié sits in her clock apartment, the photo booth is turned so the side that is the door faces the audience. Nino waits below in front of it as they sing “Stay”. As they sing, Amélie moves from her apartment to the top of the photo booth. Again I love the staging, the use of different levels shows both the emotional and physical distance separating them.

• At the end of “Stay”, Nino realizes she won’t be opening the door. He looks like he gets an idea and walks away as the booth is turned to show the photo booth side. Amelié collapses in on herself and cries. From his window, Dufayel tells Amelié there is nothing to fear and shows her his new painting: it’s Amelié drinking a glass of water, making her the girl with the glass.

• Instead of opening the door, Nino climbs through a “window” aka on top of the photo booth (at least that was my interpretation of it, it wasn’t very clear how he got in)

• They sing the “Halfway (Reprise)” and do the the famous kiss on the cheek, neck and eye. Honestly, the tension between them was insane and had whole audience dying with anticipation as we collectively held our breaths. Audrey Brisson and Chris Jared have such crazy good chemistry. When they finally kissed it was like a sigh of relief washed over the audience.

• As the ensemble kneel before Amelié and Nino, Raphael stands, stating that he finally goes on a trip with Suzanne by his side, who then stands up beside him and smiles at him.

• In “Where Do We Go From Here?” one of Nino’s line is changed instead of singing, “Will there be sweet things?” It goes “Will you be with me?” and Amélie’s reply sticks to the original lyric as she answers with, “I hope so.”

• After bows, the cast sing a finale song that combines “When the Booth Goes Bright” and “Times Are Hard for Dreamers”. I cannot stress enough how badly I want a cast album of this show.

In Summary

• The show has improved so much and fixes a lot of the issues the Broadway version had.

• Overall, the UK production stays more faithful to the movie, including lots of callbacks and scenes from the film itself as well as the overall atmosphere of the Paris.

• I. Need. A. Cast. Album. Of. The. UK. Production.

[xfcklprtehkrx]

Follow the Music

Received this question from @beyondkailani​ : I'd be interested in your views on the episode titles, especially those released for season 2. I find some of the implications interesting - Sex and Candy being followed immediately by Como la flor for example. Very different in tone!

Okay the episode song titles thing is really fun.  For S01 I was familiar with every song, and yay cause even some of my old favorite bands in there.  Nirvana, Everclear, Aerosmith, and Counting Crows?  Can’t go wrong.  Once the episode with Rosa’s CD happened I realized the episode titles were doing the same thing, but I think for most episodes it’s way more literal than others. Since we’ve made it through S01 already I’m gonna mostly focus on S02.

I made a youtube playlist with lyrics for the sake of review: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu6cxfqCMO9l7f1jJlLLgCzQELAo7W-BZ

2X1 Stay (I Missed You) (Lisa Loeb) Okay this song, the lyrics are 100% about Michael and Alex.  Lyrics strangely seem like the inevitable moment of real separation between them because Michael is with someone else.  It also smacks a little bit of their reluctance to let go of each other for so long.  Now the title could be a direct point to both Rosa and Max seeming to be dead at the end of S01.  I mean Rosa was dead for 10 years.  She can’t just come back to life, so if she’s going to live, she can’t stay in Roswell. Even if Rosa could stay, what about all her drama with Isobel?  Problems. I mean she was Noah at the time, but Rosa doesn’t know that, so they can either tell her or have it be a constant problem.  There’s also a chance Rosa already knows and she was going to tell her dad, so she doesn’t exactly scream ‘support the alien conspiracy’ to me.

I don't pay attention To the distance That you're running or to Anyone anywhere

I don't understand if you really care I'm only hearing negative, no no no, bad

So I, I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up And this woman was singing my song Lovers in love and the other's run away Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay

And you said that I was naive And I thought that I was strong I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave" Oh but now I know that I was wrong 'Cause I missed you Yeah, I missed you

You said, "you caught me cause you want me And one day I'll let you go" You try to give away a keeper Or keep me 'cause you know you're just so Scared to lose

2X2 Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space (Spiritualized) This one is all ‘I can’t help falling in love with you’.  That speaks to me of Michael and Maria.  Could also be a Liz leans on Kyle thing too, assuming Max is still dead.  She does always run back to him, which is super unfair to Kyle.  Maybe it’s also something good for Isobel.  She deserves a new love after everything with Noah, so I’d rather it go that route than either of the other two. 

2X3 Good Mother (Jann Arden) This episode will probably revolve around Maria’s mother, and since I predicted before that Michael’s hand and Maria’s desperation to find a cure for her mother could go sideways, I suspect some of that will happen here.

2X4 What If God Was One of Us (Joan Osbourne) As a Malex shipper I admit this is the one that interested me the most since Tyler Blackburn confirmed in this episode Alex gets a new love interest.  I can’t see how this would relate to Alex in anyway, so I was disappointed to not get any further insight.  

Now the lyrics make me suspect this is when Michael tells Maria he’s an alien. I mean yeah it’s ‘god’ not ‘alien’ but still some similarity there to me.

If God had a face what would it look like? And would you want to see if, seeing meant That you would have to believe in things like heaven And in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?

2X5 I'll Stand By You (The Pretenders) I see so many things in this one. -Rosa(assuming she’s still alive)/Liz -Max(if he’s back)/Liz -Max(if he’s back)/Isobel -Michael/Max and/or Isobel. -Kyle always being there for Liz even though he’s sort of a doormat -Kyle and Alex’s rekindled childhood friendship and Kyle being there for Alex -Tragedy strikes so Alex and Maria make up and he’s there for her or vice versa (even though I don’t foresee that lasting)

This could touch so many of the relationships on this show.  It’s too generic to me, and we won’t know until we get there.  Especially since so much will hinge on how they decide to handle Rosa still being alive and Max being dead.

2X6 Sex and Candy (Macy’s Playground) Now I know the word sex is in the title, but I never interpreted this in a literal way. I always assumed it was about eye sex.  His eyes meeting across the room with this fantasy girl and he’s surprised she’s looking back.  So maybe something romantic for Isobel or Alex.  I assume by this point Maria and Michael will be together so nothing to do with them.

Hangin' round downtown by myself And I had so much time To sit and think about myself And then there she was

I smell sex and candy here Who's that lounging in my chair Who's that casting devious stares In my direction

Mama this surely is a dream Yeah mama this surely is a dream

2X7 Como La Flor (Selena) I don’t speak Spanish so I had to check out a translation for this one, but this one breaks my heart.  It’s all about losing the one you love and letting them be happy with someone else. I could almost ugly cry at the implications of this song.

I know you have a new love However I wish you the best If in me, you didn't find happiness Maybe someone else will give it to you

If you saw how it hurts to lose your love With your goodbye, you take my heart I don't know if I can love again Because I gave you all the love I could give

2X8 Say It Ain't So (Wheezer) This song following the last song makes me feel like I am right about the main subject for that episode since it seems to follow the exact same line of thought, but it actually doesn’t.  I suspect Jesse Manes will make an appearance here.  This song is actually about a boy’s fear of his father’s alcoholism.  Then again, if the person who picked it didn’t actually know what the song was really about then yes, it follows the theme of the previous song.

2X9 The Diner So I wasn’t 100% sure which song this was referencing.  My mind immediately went to Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega, which I won’t lie, I had stuck in my head for like 6 years because I couldn’t figure out what the song was so I never heard it again.  When I finally did it was sweet relief.  Now there’s a ‘The Diner’ by Kaskade but it’s really just a remix of her song, so I’m going to assume that’s the song.

Now absolutely nothing in this song draws me back to this show.  There is a verse at the very end that seems like it might be significant, but it’s not in the ‘the diner’ version.   Then again, it could just be that the episode takes place surrounding the Crashdown, and the song title is literal.

Oh, this rain It will continue Through the morning As I'm listening To the bells Of the cathedral I am thinking Of your voice And of the midnight picnic Once upon a time Before the rain began

1X10 American Woman (Lenny Kravitz) This seems way out there, but this song makes me think of an outsider government/military type showing up to investigate and stir the pot.

So beyondkailani had directly commented on the contrast between 2X6 and 2X7.  I agree. Different in every way, but I’m not sure it has any meaning beyond trying to find song titles that fit the narrative, but then I think ‘no way’, and I’m sure it must be something more complicated.  I’m still digesting how I feel because the songs do bounce all over the place as far as genre.  

In S01 I felt like 75% of the song titles it was just the title that related to the episode.  I’m sure the lyrics also add to it, but mostly I think they were chosen just for their titles.  There are some episodes where it must be the lyrics that had meaning because I can’t see another connection (1X4, 1X10), but for most, it’s just the title.

Per example: -Don’t Speak is a break up song and I suppose you could attach a secondary meaning of the loss of your faith in someone to this song, but that’s a tough sell for me. -Smells like Teen Spirit on the teen revisit episode and I assure you the song is not actually about being a teenager… -I Saw the Sign on the episode where Liz finds a possible motive for why Isobel killed Rosa when this is actually also a break-up song of sorts. -Champagne Supernova on the Gala episode -Creep for the prison and Noah revealing the full extent of his actions (yet the song is actually about wanting someone who you think is amazing to love you but thinking in comparison to them you are nothing).  Now that I’m reconsidering this one the lyrics may also have value here. Originally I hadn’t considered that the lyrics might represent Noah’s feelings about Rosa.  Rosa not being an active character I didn’t consider her as part of the equation the first time.

I added some of these to the playlist at the top as well. 1X1-Pilot 1X2-So Much for the Afterglow 1X3-Tearin' Up My Heart 1X4-Where Have All the Cowboys Gone? 1X5-Don't Speak 1X6-Smells Like Teen Spirit 1X7-I Saw the Sign 1X8-Barely Breathing 1X9-Songs About Texas 1X10-I Don't Want to Miss a Thing 1X11-Champagne Supernova 1X12-Creep 1X13-Recovering the Satellites

Now all of this could be totally moot since most of the songs in S01 are just about the title and I focused on content to make conjectures.  This was really fun for me though.

[tessatechaitea]

The Green Lantern #12

I don't know why I'm writing a review of this comic book when I know I won't understand it at all.

Spoken like a ring that has been shoved up Hal's ass as punishment for talking back previously.

That's all you need to know about Hal Jordan's characterization: nobody tells Hal Jordan what to do! Oh wait! Maybe you need a little bit more: sometimes somebody does tell Hal Jordan what to do and then they get punched in the face. Then Hal's ring probably says, "Nobody tells Hal Jordan what to do!" Hal Jordan's anti-matter universe counterpart (who is the Qwa-man, right? No? Maybe?) has been beating the shit out of some second-rate Green Lanterns. One of them can't feel emotions so he's all, "I am dying but super coolly and logically. This is a real matter-of-fact death here. Don't care because I can't. Are these good last words? I can't tell because nothing moves my emotional meter." But Hal Jordan descends on the fight to save the day and not be thanked if he saves the unemotional Green Lantern. "I guess I'm still living. Who cares? I see the world through cold eyes which reveal none of the majesty nor the mystery of the multiverse. It is a compliment when my people yawn in your presence because it means we feel about you the same as we feel about every mote of dust disturbed into motion by every other mote of dust in the universe. In our eyes, you are equal to the most majestic star. Because we couldn't give two fucks about either of you."

More Green Lanterns that don't matter being dispatched to save the other Green Lanterns that don't matter.

I do recognize one of those Green Lanterns as Medphyl although I know nothing about him except he's plant-like. The Guardians of the Universe are discussing the plan to save the universe from Controller Mu and his Qwa-matter Man. That plan is this: "For the first time in your life, we need you to do exactly as you are told. The rest, Lantern Jordan, the rest will be up to you." Based on what Hal's ring said earlier, I think I sense a flaw in their plan! Sinestro arrives to help Jordan defeat the Qwa-man. Being that I have no idea where in DC Continuity this story takes place, I don't know the specifics of Hal and Sinestro's current relationship. I guess they're reluctant allies? Or Hal is reluctant and Sinestro just gets off on making Hal Jordan need him. It turns out this Sinestro is from the anti-matter universe which means he's the Ace Rimmer of the Sinestro set. And the Qwa-man is the negative Hal Jordan. Everybody tells him what to do and he's pissed. Anti-Sinestro gets wounded giving Hal enough time to get a plan together: punch the Qwa-man in the face over and over and over again. It's the old Hal Jordan special! Before Hal's shield runs out and he and his opposite explode due to anti-matter/matter contact, the Green Lantern cavalry arrives. The Superwatch cavalry also arrives. Plus some creature from the anti-matter universe who's supposed to take the Qwa-man back. But Hal Jordan is as sufficiently confused as I am about how everything is coming together. Maybe he's less confused because he hasn't read dozens of other comic books between each issue of this story, obfuscating the plot because my brain can't keep all the separate threads of all the different comic books separate. Whatever is about to go down, Hal Jordan finds it suspicious. Nobody is getting punched in the face to end the story so something must be wrong! It's totally a trap! But before Hal can save everybody with a bunch of punches, he's caught in a zeta-beam taking him back to Blackstar headquarters. I think that means Grant Morrison was confused by his own story as well and wasn't sure how to end it. Whatever else happened up until this point, it was mostly a scavenger hunt. Hal Jordan helped the Blackstars and Controller Mu collect a bunch of items to create the Miracle Machine. By inserting Hal Jordan into it, he just needs to make one wish to change the universe. And he's supposed to make Controller Mu's wish. I don't remember what that wish was, if it was even ever said. But whatever it is, Hal needs to make it soon or he'll die from injuries sustained battling the Qwa-man. Maybe he's wishing the Green Lanterns away so that the Blackstars can rule the universe? I don't know! Will I continue to read this story in Blackstars #1? Fuck it. Probably. The epilogue shows that the Qwa-man leads a corps of Weaponeers that are the opposite of the Green Lanterns in the anti-matter universe. They're gearing up for war. I guess that's supposed to make me excited for the next chapter of Hal Jordan. It might but I'm a lot like that Green Lantern from earlier that can't feel emotion. I just want to read comic books to pass the time. It's not like I get emotionally invested in them! Unless they star elves and wolves. The Green Lantern #12: If I could sacrifice some extra time I don't really have, I'd reread this entire series until it made sense. Because if I had to bet money on it, I'm sure it makes sense. If my opinion doesn't cost me anything except maybe my reputation, I'd say it doesn't make sense and Grant Morrison is a fucking hack and because of this series, I now believe everything he's ever written was complete nonsense and I fucking fell for it! I'm so fucking gullible and stupid! I bet Alan Moore's writing was just verbal vomit too! And Ellis! Heck, why limit my newfound understanding of the nihilism of writers to just comic books? I bet Danielewski's work has been utter nonsense garbed in profundity! And fucking Steinbeck, that clown! If I read things merely to pass the time and don't give a shit if I get anything out of it, I bet writers write the exact same way! I've been duped my entire life into believing shit mattered! Ugh! I'm such a jerk.

[collecting-stories]

Secrets | Steve Rogers

(Marvel ask anon) I'm sorry, I didn't check your Masterlist and it days what you write for there. I really like your Steve writing! Could I have a Steve x fem!reader where she works independently and her work is simular to Jessica Jones except she doesn't take anyone's money and never meets face to face so no names. She could work at an art shop and that's how Steve meets her. (Someone gave him a gift card?) She doesn't even know who he is and he really likes that? And maybe he could (1/2)

(2/2) startd picking up on small things but he just thinks he's paranoid. She does good things, but has trust issues and overdose it with boundaries. Tony somehow finds out and recruits her behind caps back? Honestly you can change as much as you want because I know it will be great! I love your writing! Thanks 🙂

Secrets | Steve Rogers

"I think you might be in the wrong place," You comment, watching the back of the guy who had walked through the door of your work almost half an hour ago. This was the second time in a month you'd found yourself saying the same thing. This time the guy who turned to look at you wasn't just some random stranger perusing the store.  

Last time the man who'd been on the receiving end of your snarky comment had been standing in front of the same display of oil paints for twenty or so minutes, staring at the different shades you had on hand. He looked like he should have been lifting weights at the gym or maybe shopping two stores down in that health mart that had popped up.  

"I'm sorry?" He had asked, turning around to look at you. Alright, you'd thought, he was ridiculously attractive. You came around the side of the counter and made your way over to him.  

"You look a little lost, did you mean to come in here or are you trying to find a gift for someone?" You asked. He was like those people who came into Starbucks at Christmas to buy giftcards for their family and stumbled through a coffee order trying to decipher a menu they treated like a foreign language. Maybe a girlfriend was really into art or something.  

"I meant to come in here." He replied, "a friend of mine got me a giftcard here for my birthday."

"Artist in disguise." You muttered, fiddling with a crooked piece of the display.  

"Sorry?" He said again. He heard what you'd said but figured he'd play it off.

"Hmm?" You glanced over at him. Definitely should be a gym right now. Where these the kinds of guys that hung out at gyms in Brooklyn, why didn't you go to the gym? "Oh nothing. So, can I help you find something?"  

"I'm not too familiar with oil paints but I thought I'd give them a try. I'm just not sure..." He trailed off, glancing at the display then at you.

"Well, you've got the right girl for the job. I can definitely help you out there." You replied. You began to explain the differences between acrylic and oil paints, watching him intently as you spoke. He seemed fascinated with the idea of the medium and was just as engrossed in your explanation as you were in telling it.  

You needed to meet more people like him. Normal, friendly, rather innocent seeming. He wasn't overly complicated. Just a simple guy from Brooklyn who was fit as hell and liked to draw, what were the odds there. He introduced himself as Steve Rogers and you gave him your name, telling him to stop by whenever he wanted.  

The man who stood there in front of you now didn't require any introduction. You'd recognize Tony Stark anywhere. The iron man, as he was most famously known. He took of his blue tinted glasses, the ones that you thought made him look like he was doing a Bono impression, and walked over to the counter.  

"Name's Tony Stark."  

"Yeah, I know that." You replied.  

"Well then, we can cut the formalities. I've heard some interesting things about your business."

"Selling art supplies?" You took an exaggerated look around the store.  

"Your 'other' business." He replied, trying and failing to look discreet.

You rolled your eyes at him, trying to seem nonchalant about his mention of your side work. In truth, you were a bit miffed that he knew anything about your after-hours job. It was hardly a year after the battle of New York when you'd found yourself in an accident and then, when you woke, you realized that something had changed within you. For all you knew of it, you had superhuman strength. Something that rivaled The Hulk (without the green monster) or Captain America (without the wholesomeness).  

New York after the battle was left in ruins and it wasn't good people with good intentions that were making a head way in the city. It was men who meant to do harm to the neighborhood, targeting the less fortunate who'd lost too much to recover in the battle. So you put your power to use, acting as somewhat of a reluctant vigilante. There was even an ad in the newspaper for your services. Just a number and a message 'In trouble? Call x-xxx-xxx-xxxx'  

"I don't know what you're talking about." You said.  

"I know you do though. And I'm here to ask for your assistance. And also, to offer you some answers to what your powers do." He said, reaching into his pocket and taking out a card, "think about it."

You were still thinking about it, later that afternoon, when the door to your shop dinged and Steve walked in. He came up to the counter, just as you slid the business card under the magazine you were reading. You were too slow though, he caught sight of the Stark symbol on the edge of the card.  

"What's that?"

"What's what?" You asked, leaning your elbows on the counter.  

"Nothing." Steve replied, shaking his head.

In the month since you and Steve had first met you had spent a lot of time with him. More than you usually allowed yourself to spend with people. At least since the accident. Even still you were careful about him. He only came around to your work and he didn't know where you lived. You avoided spending time with him outside of work hours. You didn't give him an address, a last name, or even a phone number. While you were too busy keeping yourself safe from anyone who might discover your secret, Steve had started to pick up on your odd behavior.

He didn't want to pry, well...he did want to pry, but he promised himself he wasn't going to. Natasha had told him that it was best to make sure you felt safe around him before he went asking questions about why you were so private.  

"It's not like you're in a relationship Cap, I mean, she's allowed to have some secrets."  

And secrets were fine with Steve, he still hadn't told you that he was Captain America. Really, he had no intention of doing so either, which was why Nat was so adamant that he let you not tell him simple things like where you lived. So he dropped the subject of the business card hidden beneath the magazine that was laid out in front of you.  

For at least another month.  

Until Steve was sent in on a recovery mission for SHIELD that turned out to be more complicated than he had expected. Part of that complication was the mercs that he was meant to be pursuing using technology no one knew they had. The other part of the complication happened toward the end of the mission. SHIELD agents had been sent in and, because of that conversation with Tony a month ago, you were part of that team of agents. And as you ran through an underground tunnel that was more of an elaborate set of hallways, you nearly collided with Captain America, who grabbed you by the shoulders and said your name.  

You tried to step back and pull away but he kept a firm grip on you. "how do you know my name?" You asked, alarmed. Fury had addressed you each by number. As the Captain had earlier in the night. He gave no indication that he knew anyone's name, especially yours. You hardly had a badge.  

He let go of you with one hand, reaching up and undoing his helmet. As it dropped to the floor you took a step back, this time successful. "Steve?"

"What're you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing! Just ordinary Steve from Brooklyn my ass, you're Captain America!" You snapped.  

"I've been Cap for seventy odd years, it's not exactly a surprise to most people." He replied. "Now what're you doing here? Did SHIELD send you to trail me?"

"Down in a tunnel?"

"You know what I mean? Have you been surveilling me?" Steve asked. The real question was 'did any of those lunches together at the art shop mean anything to you'.  

"No I..." You figured your best explanation for this whole situation would be action rather than word. How were you supposed to ask Steve to trust your word that you were some super strong mutant of a human and that's why you were here; because SHIELD was honing your abilities.

You were given the perfect opportunity to show him when Hydra operatives came around the corner. He turned and pushed you behind him, purely out of instinct, but you disregarded his silent request to stay back. Instead you did the exact opposite and surged ahead. Steve didn't have much time to react as he continued to fight against Hydra with you but there were moments when he caught himself taking a long look over at you and not concentrating on the opponent at hand.  

When he saw you down in the tunnel the last thought he had was that you were superhuman. That was even less of a thought when he saw you in the art shop the first time he wandered inside. But when the fighting was over and everyone was safely back on the quinjet, you with them, he couldn't help but stare at you, wondering how he'd missed it. He had a million questions running through his head but mostly he just wanted to know if you were being honest with him. Had you really not known he was Captain America?

"What?" You asked, feeling uneasy that his eyes were on you. This was your first mission with SHIELD, a training run to see if you were capable of becoming a real agent and the stunt you pulled in the tunnels with Cap was a surefire way to get your badge revoked. You would be back to square one, a rogue vigilante with unexplainable powers living in New York City.  

"What?" He asked, looking over to you.

"You keep staring at me, what is it?"

"Did you really not know I was Captain America?"

"I never really paid attention in school so, yeah...I didn't know." You continued on, feeling like you needed more of an explanation, "This happened a little after the Battle of New York...I was in an accident and next thing I know, I can fucking lift a car with one hand. Stark knew, somehow, about the work I did at night. He recruited me to SHIELD. When we met, hand to god, I was just working at an art shop and keeping watch over my little part of New York." You said.  

"That's why you kept so many secrets from me."

"I wanted to tell you Steve, trust me. But I just couldn't. I thought at the time you were just some ordinary guy. And I liked how ordinary I felt when it was just us spending time together. You never told me you were Captain America."

"For the same reason." Steve admitted, taking a seat beside you.

"Guess we can't go back to that."

"Not exactly but...it'd be better this way. No more secrets and trying to hide things from each other."

"Lunch tomorrow at the art shop?" You asked, leaning your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arm around his arm.  

what?

[theclaravoyant]

Daisy coming out to May fic?

AN ~ This fic does not meet any Bingo squares BUT it does fill a prompt for @marvelthismarvelthat who gave me the idea quite a while ago in a different ask, as well as requests from two Anons (or one super enthusiastic one!). I’m also going to mention @loved-the-stars-too-fondly who expressed some interest in this idea :D Enjoy!

I am still accepting prompts (platonic and otherwise), but will be prioritising those that help with my bingo squares.

This one works as a part II/sister ficlet to Ch.33 of my Platonic AOS collection, in which Daisy comes out to Coulson, but it can stand alone. All you need to really know is, Daisy crashed with a ladyfriend during her vigilante days, and now that she’s back at Shield she wants to make sure Hayley gets home safe.

Rated T. Hurt/comfort, mild angst with a happy ending. May & Daisy, with discussion of Daisy/OFC and hints of potential Daisy/Piper.

Read on AO3 (~1100wd)

Daisy hovered in the passageway by the hanger, flipping her phone anxiously s she paced. She’d technically said goodbye to Hayley this morning, but part of her still wanted to run over and grab her. Give her one last kiss. Then again, another part of her wanted to run away into the mountains and never be seen or heard from again, and yet another at wanted to induct Hayley into Shield and kick ass across the world together, so what did she know?

She knew that Hayley couldn’t stay, and this she repeated to herself firmly to drown out the daydreams. She knew that this was the right thing to do, and the safest. She’d already made up her mind on that – especially since she knew May had been put in charge of Hayley’s escort. Or so she’d thought.

Despite her mantras, a renewed sense of uncertainty coursed through Daisy’s veins as she watched May farewell the driver of the big black SUV, tap the window, and walk away. Resisting the urge to bounce on her feet, and struggling to modulate her voice as it strained with fear and anger, Daisy queried:

“You’re not going?”

“No,” May told her simply, turning to stand beside Daisy so that they could both watch as the hangar doors slowly opened. She could already anticipate the words about to leap out of Daisy’s throat, and pre-emptively cut them off.

“I’m the Assistant Director, Daisy,” she pointed out. “Shield doesn’t run itself.”

“So, what, you send my girlfriend off with Agent Number Five?”

“He’s Number 7-5, actually,” May corrected, “and you don’t need to worry. Davis is a good agent, and a sensitive man. He’ll make sure Hayley gets home safe. He’s already given her chocolate and tissues in the car.”

Daisy hung her head, listlessly turning her phone as the fire evaporated from her veins. Behind that lock screen was her last conversation with Hayley; she’d been meaning to delete it all day. And it was in that moment Daisy was forced to own up to the source of her explosiveness, her anger, even her fear. She was feeling like a coward, and taking it out on someone else.

“’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I didn’t mean to get snappy before, I’m sure Davis is a good guy, I just want the best for Hayley. If anything happened to her…”

“I understand,” May promised.

“No, but I mean like-“

“I understand, Daisy,” May repeated, turning to face her at last. “Not least because you yelled it just now. You and Hayley were together, you felt safe, maybe even a little in love. You feel like, if nothing else, you owe it to her to keep her safe – even if that means making her leave. I understand that.”

Her eyes were heavy with ghosts and Daisy had a strong and sudden feeling she was talking about Andrew. There were still so many layers there that she had never unpacked, but what she did recognise was the pain of driving people away for fear of hurting them. She wondered if May regretted it. But if she regretted it, why was she letting Daisy do the exact same thing now? Was it the same, or was she just projecting? Or was May the one who was projecting? Did it even matter? After all, the deed was done. The car was gone. There was nothing and nobody there but May and Daisy and the moment of vulnerability they’d suddenly found themselves standing in.

Daisy swallowed hard.

“And- and the other part?” she ventured. “The part where… she’s a her?”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I- I kind of want to, if that’s okay?”

May’s expression softened, the pain fading from her eyes. She gestured down the hall, and offered: “Come to my office, we’ll have a drink. You can tell me as much or as little as you want.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Daisy agreed. She could use a drink, or two, or five, today. And as her feet began walking without needing direction toward May’s office, Daisy found that it was easier, much more of a relief than usual, to offload the weight of coming out from her chest.

“I’m bisexual,” she began. “I’ve known since I was, I dunno, probably twelve…”

She skipped through her life, picking and choosing moments that she hadn’t reflected on much before. With many more boyfriends than girlfriends, it had stopped coming up recently, but as she talked she reflected on more and more of the good times with Hayley. Not just the safety but the fun, and the love. Sharing ice-cream. Visiting the beach. Running for cover in the rain. Those were memories she could always cherish, not just the messy, heartbreaking, cowardly end. Maybe she’d never truly know in the end if she did the right thing, but that wasn’t exactly the same as having regrets: a bittersweet revelation, but one that left her smiling as she drained the last of her scotch.

This brought Daisy back to reality; to the fact that May, who didn’t particularly enjoy a lot of talking at the best of times, had sat through a winding and rambling highlight reel of her life story; and to the fact that she had almost definitely taken up enough of the Assistant Director of Shield’s valuable time. Daisy stood and cleared her throat, looking for a place to put her glass. May held out a hand to take it.

“Are you sure you’re ready to go?” she offered.

“Yeah,” Daisy assured her. “I’m fine. It was good to talk though. Thanks for listening.”

“Thank you for sharing,” May replied. “I won’t tell anybody, of course.”

“’s okay,” Daisy said with a shrug. “It’s not really a secret for me, and all the important people know now anyway.”

May nodded, and a smile touched Daisy’s lips. She waited for May to take a seat at the large oak desk in case there was something else, but it was not until just before she turned to leave, that May had one more thing to add.

“You asked me what I think about you loving girls,” she reminded Daisy, calling her back from moving toward the door. “Not that it matters, but what I have to say to that is, that I think you should meet Agent Piper, from Davis’ unit. It sounds to me like the two of you might have something to talk about.”

“Oh?” Daisy raised an eyebrow. “And what exactly is that?”

“It means talk to her yourself, and figure it out.”

May gestured smugly to the door. Daisy scoffed, and rolled her eyes with a reluctant smile, and considered herself dismissed.

[fondwitch]

How have you dealt with your journey to becoming a witch with your friends and family? Any issues with acceptance? I’m reluctant to talk about it to people...

Firstly, I imagine everyone’s journey is different and that everyone goes at different speeds. Mine has been very gradual and that is something I didn’t expect! I started to delve into witchcraft late July 2017 and was like okay yes, I want this practice to be a part of my life!! I was fairly active through Samhain, however once November hit I was barely active at all (on my blog and irl) between thanksgiving and christmas. I have always been into christmas hardcore (more the commercial/wintery aspects - I am not christian) and I really thought I would be able to swerve christmas activities more towards Yule and including witchcraft and that just did NOT happen this past year. I was so busy and sucked into the exact same things I have done previous years. I was very disappointed midway through January when I looked back and realized for the last couple months I had made no progress in my witchcraft journey. I’ve only just started re-delving back in this past month.

For my life in general, I am 100% a secret witch. My husband knows about it and doesn’t care either way, I would say he even slightly sways toward supporting it. I am very grateful for this because I can have witchcraft books sitting out and can talk to him about the moon and my crystals (now whether or not he pays much attention, I have no idea lol). However, outside of him NO ONE knows. My mother and older sister are very religious christians and they would not support it in the least.

How my practice relates to my family? I know that I would have zero acceptance, so I bold face lie to them. Listen, I look at it this way. It’s my own damn home so I am not going to hide everything. So that leaves me with lying. I literally have a plant stand covered with various sized crystals and plants and I feel like it has a look to it if you know what I mean. But I told my sister that I was just becoming interested in rocks and gems again and went on about how that had been my favorite part of science class when I was younger. I think she might have made one joke once, something like “well as long as you aren’t getting into anything weird” and she laughed and I fake laughed too…and was like “nope! i just really love rocks!” I did have a mini heart attack when my sister was recently over and was looking for something to snack on and she had seen some of the cups that I had dyed eggs in and she went “oh you dyed eggs?” and I did not want her to go poking in the container in the fridge and see the pentagram I had drawn on one egg and various sigils on others so I jumped in to ask “I have salsa and chips! would you like some?” and that side-tracked her.

So I guess I’m in the middle? I would never openly talk about witchcraft AT ALL to my family (maybe someday I will tell you my horrifying experience when I was a preteen and my mom found out that my friends and I were looking into witchcraft). But also…my home is my home..you know, so I am not going to hide everything about my practice in my own safe place, if that makes sense? I will allow things out that I feel I can safely make excuses for and then keep the rest in a closet or something.

I don’t talk about witchcraft with my husband a ton, but mostly because he’s not super interested. He was totally fine using the prosperity shower sachet I made him when he didn’t have a job and he actively tells me he enjoys when I cleanse our house with smoke. Also, he is supporter of @madamehearthwitch‘s fire cider recipe that I made. He has taken it multiple times this past winter when he felt a cold coming on.

I have a calendar at my desk at work and there are 50 or so people in my office area. Recently I almost thought to add Ostara to the calendar and I had to check myself. Sometimes, I get so…idk..used to them being words that I read and talk about so openly on tumblr…that I forget they might not be received well in a broader audience. I have no idea who might read that and know what it alludes to and then…idk who knows what.

So after a very long-winded reply (sorry, must be feeling talkative) I would have to say you are not alone. I am very reluctant to talk about it outside of tumblr. My husband is pretty much the only one. I would stick with your hunches until you can slowly vet someone out and find out if they can be trusted.

[askscottatavie-blog]

Queen Takes King || Solo Para

Word Count: 2542 Note: So, this came out waaaaaay longer than I originally intended, and took much longer to write, but I’m super proud of it and I hope you enjoy!

Scotta had never really experienced a lucid dream before. In fact, she hardly ever remembered her dreams. But this, this felt different. Like she was dreaming, yet she was awake.

The sight of her old room startled her slightly. The decorations looked dated, with furniture yet to be broken by fits of teen rage. But something felt wrong. Off. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it...

“You know, you always were my favourite.” A sharp turn towards the accented voice revealed a familiar blond, the sight of which caused Scotta’s skin to prickle.

“I should have known something was off about you.” She began, standing her ground as the much taller man approached her. “Twin intuition is one thing, but having the exact same imaginary friend? That’s unheard of.”

“See? This is exactly what I mean! You’re clever - you read into things."

“That’s called being cynical, not clever.” Scotta pointed out.

“Tomato, tomato. Say what you will, but it’s the cynical ones that tend to last.” He replied, making a wide gesture with his arms.

“Like you?” Her incredulity was only emphasized by the lift of her eyebrow.

“Like you.”

There was a brief silence between the two, where they did little but stare at one another. Keen eyes attempting to calculate each others’ next moves.

“So, what do you want?” Scotta took the leap, getting straight to the point. A grin spread across the mans face.

“What? I can’t visit an old friend?” He asked, holding his chest as if he were hurt. His voice mimicked this, but his eyes told a different story.

“You’re not that kind of person.” Scotta began, taking slow steps as she began to circle around him. “In fact, everything about this setting is off. You’ve bought me back to my childhood bedroom, presumably to make me feel more comfortable. Yet you’ve also come to me in a dream, maybe so you’d know that you’d have more control over the situation. But I think it’s more likely that you can’t come to me any other way. Because you still haven’t escaped, have you?” Silence answered her, causing a smirk to stretch her cheeks. “And to top it all off, if you are who I think you are, then the information recently brought to light gives you a motive. So correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you want something from me.”

A beat of silence.

“...Very perceptive.” His smirk now matched hers, although his held a hint of malice. He even mirrored her previous movements as he began to stalk around her. “However, there is one flaw in your little brainstorm.”

She raised her eyebrows in reply, ceasing in her movement and crossing her arms. His intimidation tactics were dated and obvious, as he got right up in her personal space, his chest against her back as he leaned down to whisper into her ear.

“You don’t know what it is that I want.”

“I know enough to make a logical guess.” Scotta shrugged. Imitating her own movements, the man only raised his eyebrow in return, causing the girl to roll her eyes. “Ragnarok. Something to do with Ragnarok. You want to end life on earth as we know it, and for some reason want my help to do it.”

“I knew that you’d done your studying.”

“I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t.” She shrugged.

“So, what do you say, huh? End of the world? How about it?”

“Sorry to be a party pooper, but I’m not about to help you end the world. Unlike you, I happen to live in it.”

“What?” The man scoffed. “Your mortal life, here on Earth? You could be so much more than this - just as you were destined to be!”

“I was destined to be the orphaned bastard of your king. The only legacy he’s left me is to be a stain on his throne.”

“And I’m offering you vengeance-”

“On who?!” She exclaimed, her arms flailing violently as her calm composure fell for a moment. “A man I’ve never met, with motives I couldn’t even begin to understand? And what can you give me? The prize of a broken throne at the cost of your own petty revenge? No. I am sick of letting everyone else decide what’s best for me. From now on, I decide my own destiny. And I can guarantee that it doesn’t involve me helping you.”

“Is that so?” He asked, exiting her personal space so he could continue to circle her. “So you’re not even the slightest bit tempted? All it would take is one bite of a golden apple, and you’ll be a goddess. Bastard or not, with no pesky siblings in the way, you’ll be the rightful heir to the throne of the gods.”

“Queen of the damned? Sounds charming, but I’ll have to decline.”

“Really? Well then, I’m sure your brother wouldn’t be so quick-” Scotta cut him off, her tone sharp enough to cut stone.

“You leave Hew out of this.”

The man chuckled.

“Don’t you see? He’s always been a part of this. It’s either you or him, honey. Make your choice.”

Then there was silence.

“...No.” Scotta finally replied, causing him to frown.

“No?”

“This is my dream, right?” She began. “My subconscious. Which means that I make the rules.” With a flick of her hand, the scenery changed, and the blond gave her an incredulous look.

“...Chess?” He questioned, to which she nodded as she placed herself in the chair her mind had conjured.

“Chess. A game of wit and intelligence.” Scotta replied. “Two things you seem to value incredibly highly, I might add.” And within which I’m sure you’ll be eager to prove your superiority. “So, I’m going to raise the stakes. I win, and you leave me and Hew alone. You win, and I go through with this little plan of yours.” Her tone was reluctant, but decisive. Seating himself in the chair across from her, the man crossed his arms, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. He leaned back, as if getting comfortable, but his gaze never left his opponent.

“I have to say, I like these odds.” He eventually replied.

“So, what do you say? Deal?”

“...Deal.”

The two shook hands, Scotta grinned. “Great. King's pawn to E4.” The man seemed shocked as the chess piece moved without being touched.

“We’re doing this verbally?” He asked, incredulously.

“What? Too complicated for you?” Scotta replied, mockingly. The man scowled.

“Never.” He grumbled, before studying the board for a moment, as if reminding himself of the game. “Pawn to E5.”

“Pawn to F4. King’s Gambit.”

“Pawn takes pawn.”

“Bishop to C4.”

“Queen to H4. Check”

“King to F1.”

“Pawn to B5.” The man gave Scotta a strange look, to which she merely shrugged in reply.

“Okay then. Bishop takes Pawn.”

“Knight to F6.”

“Knight to F3.”

“Queen to H6.”

“Pawn to D3.”

The blond grinned before he made his next move. “Knight to H5.”

"Scotta?” The knock at her door had already alerted her to her grandmothers presence, but she had always felt the need to announce herself in some way before she entered. A respect of the teenagers privacy, Scotta supposed. Perhaps she had learned from her mistakes while raising Merida.

“I’m coming. Just, give me a second.” She replied, trying her best to stay composed, although she was sure that her shuddering breath gave her away.

“You know, it’s okay to be nervous-” Eleanor began, before Scotta cut her off.

“But if I’m going to be queen-”

“You listen to me, young lady.” Eleanor cut her off, sitting next to her granddaughter and taking her hands between her own. “Right now, you’re not the heir to the throne. You’re a young girl who, for the first time in her life, is about to meet her biological mother. You’re allowed to be nervous - I would be worried if you weren’t. Being afraid isn’t always a weakness. Sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise.”

“Why’s that?” Scotta sniffed. Eleanor merely smiled.

“Because it reminds us that we’re still human.”

Scotta simply raised an eyebrow. “Knight to H4.”

“Queen to G5.” He began, a toothy grin pulling maliciously at his cheeks. “So, are you giving up your Bishop at B5 or your Knight at H4?” There was a pause before Scotta replied.

“Neither. Knight to F5.” Her grin now mirrored his, which had fallen.

“Pawn to C6.”

“Pawn to G4.”

“Knight to F6.” Another pause as Scotta carefully studied the board.

“...Rook to G1.”

“Pawn takes your Bishop.” There was laughter in his eyes.

Scotta wasn’t sure what she had expected. A connection, maybe. Some kind of instant sign of ‘yes, this woman is my mother.’ Instead it was just, awkward. Like meeting a stranger for the first time at a party and being forced to interact. All at once, every expectation she had had about this day had both been shattered and met. “So, I assume you want to know why, I let you go.” She finally got out, a sharp breath interrupting the silence that had fallen over the three ever since they had been left to awkward small talk by their respective families. “That would be nice, yeah.” Hew replied, his tone far more snappy than it usually got. It quickly alerted Scotta to his own unease in the situation, but she didn’t know what she could do to make him feel anymore comfortable. While leaving was an option she imagined was at the forefront both of their minds, she doubted either of them genuinely wanted to. “Right...” She trailed off, clearing her throat and starting down at her wringing hands. “My, family is - was - very wealthy. We had a reputation - a certain image - to uphold. An image, I may have ruined.” The simultaneously raised eyebrow from both twins seemed to make her chuckle, as if it were somehow familiar. “I was engaged to an, an amazing man. But then, I met another man, and it was like a tornado, a storm. Everything just happened so quickly. Before I even knew what was happening, we were in bed together.” She paused, her own voice trembling. “I, I got pregnant, and when we found out how far along... Well, it was obvious that it wasn’t his. The engagement was called off, and I was thrown out. Eventually I found a place to stay, and a part time job, but I just wasn’t in the right place to raise children. I had no room for three of us to live, and I definitely didn’t have the money to raise you.” Scotta raised her head slowly to look the woman in the eye, and opened her mouth to speak, but she was cut off before a sound could emit from her lips. “I promise, it was never you.” She took her children's hands into her own. “I regret what I did every single day. But I want you to know that I never regretted you. Neither of you. Not for a second.”

“Pawn to H4.” Scotta announced, watching the pawn move with a careful gaze.

“Queen to G6.”

“Pawn to H5. Might want to watch your next few steps.” Her light teasing tone seemed to put him off slightly, his upper lip curling in annoyance.

“Says the girl who lost her bishop.” Despite his quip, it was clear that her own confidence was wearing him down slightly. “Queen to G5.”

“Queen to F3.” She knew that she had almost trapped his queen. The slight sweat on his brow indicated that he did too.

“Knight to G8.”

“Bishop takes Pawn, threatens Queen.”

With a grunt, he relented. “Queen to F6.”

“Knight to C3. Want to develop something other than your Queen?” She mocked.

“I wouldn’t get too cocky if I were you - you’re still one Bishop down. Speaking of which. Bishop to C5.”

Scotta was already deep into the ancient tomes at the back of the castle’s library when Hew approached her.

“What’re you doing?” He asked, although Scotta didn’t turn to answer.

“Reading up on my Norse Mythology. I’m a bit rusty.” She teased. Mythology had never really been her thing, after all.

Hew, however, didn’t seem to be in the mood for games. “No, I was talking about your room. What’s going on?”

“Oh, that?” Scotta replied, surprise evident in her voice as she turned to face her brother. “I’m just moving to a different room. No biggie.” She shrugged.

Her brother still appeared confused. “...Why?”

Scotta sighed. “Want to start over, turn a new leaf, you know?”

“...Yeah, I know.” Hew nodded, before placing a firm hand on her shoulder, shaking her slightly as he smiled. “Good for you, Tavie.”

Scotta mirrored his smile as their eyes met. “Thanks, Tahmas.”

“Knight to D5.” Scotta continued.

“Queen takes Pawn at B2.”

“Bishop to D6.”

“Queen takes Rook. Check.” He retaliated, although his furrowed brow made him appear more confused than smug.

“King to E2.” Scotta was calm, but his surprise remained.

“Bishop takes Rook. Your final Rook, by the way.”

“Intimidation doesn’t work if you don’t understand what’s happening.” Scotta pointed out, although her face remained passive, neutral. “Pawn to E5.”

“I’ve got my entire army bearing down on your King, and you’re moving a Pawn?” He questioned, his exasperation and confusion having clearly gotten the better of him.

“Think about it, old friend.” His pause was the only answer she needed.

“Whatever.” He grumbled. “Let’s just finish this. Knight to A6.”

“Knight takes Pawn at G7. Check.”

“King to D8. Try again.”

“Queen to F6. Check.”

“And my Knight takes your Queen.” His grin was victorious, a flame lit behind his eyes. “You’re down to a Pawn and a Bishop. Too bad you wasted your time moving the-” He stopped himself, the grin dissolving and the fire fading.

Scotta’s poker face finally broke into a smirk once more. “Bishop to E7. Checkmate.”

Her ‘old friend’ took the loss far better than she had expected him to, which only raised her suspicions. Leaning back in his chair, he raised his hands in defeat. “Well, looks like you got me, kid.”

“So, you’re going to keep your side of the deal, right?” Scotta raised an eyebrow, copying his movements as she leaned back in her own chair, crossing her arms. “You get out of my head and stay away from my brother.”

“Hey, a deals a deal.” The man agreed, placing his hands on the chairs arms in order to push himself up. “I’ll get out of your hair. Promise.”

“Good.” Scotta replied, getting up from her own chair, as if to politely show him out of the door. However, as he began to disappear - taking the dreamscape with him -  she spoke again.

"Oh, and Loki?” She began, causing him to freeze in his tracks as he turned his head to face her. “If I hear that you went back on our deal, then Narfi won't be the last of your children to die at the hands of an Asguardian."

He turned away again, and she missed the smirk that twisted his features.

“I’d like to see you try, princess.”

[cosmopoetica1]

Love Quotes for Him

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Love Quotes for Him

I Love you Quotes for Him

Some say that boys get turned on by what they hear, and it is definitely true. After all, it is not about the sex, it is all about love, and everybody who know this superb feeling to want not just to understand he is adored but also to listen to the hot words out of his significant other. But, occasionally even the very amazing quote “I love you” is not sufficient to express what you truly feel. In cases like this, profound and enthusiastic quotations are precisely what we need. Have a look at our collection and pick the deepest expression to inform him just how much you love husband or your boyfriend! I Love you Quotes for Him

I Love you Quotes for Him Gallery

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Sweet Love Quotes for Him

Sweet love quotes for him. It is deeper, it is larger, it is more amazing than anything we could put in to words, but nonetheless, there are a number of phrases which explain specific facets of love absolutely, and we have chosen the very best ones to you. If you’re searching this morning for something which will make your boyfriend or spouse grin, you need to have a look at these expressions. They could make him feel special, even though he knows just how much he intends to you. Sending your soulmate a message is a fantastic idea!

Once I was a child, I enjoyed drawing the skies, that is why I constantly ran from blue crayons quicker than others. You are my crayon, also that I can not get enough of you. No one deserves it. Your heart is my location. And I think because you’re my love. Always and tomorrow I’m there for you Now. Enjoy you in the depth of soul and my heart.

Each time that I inform you that I adore you, I really don’t do from habit like I’m utilized to saying that. Because I would like you to keep in mind that you’re my entire life, I do it. The sort of feelings I get when I look at you’re the feelings individuals write love books about. It was only when I met you that I discovered exactly what it was like to appear in somebody’s eyes and smile for no reason. Since I spend time considering you.

You’re the very first thing that I think about when I awaken in the afternoon and the previous one in my head before I fall asleep.

What’s love? It is typically associated by us with roses, candles, dinner and sweet words. The truth is that we could organize events that are amazing particularly thinking about the fact that your partner won’t be surprised by them if repeated. Love is half-alive with no love. The fantastic thing is that love could be casual. You do not need to attempt and impress your soulmate by coordinating something outstanding daily, simply send him a gorgeous quote which will remind him falling in love with him would be the best thing that’s ever occurred to you.

I can not imagine my life without you since it is those who make me full. You mean everything. It appears I might have loved you at a countless number of kinds, in all the probable times, in lifetimes after our own life and ages which could come after our era, forever and ever.

You are the one and I love more than life. That I can not allow you to go. And it is not because I don’t adore you. It is only that I wish to create my love story that is ideal !

The love I have for you does not know any bounds and it is so deep you can not locate its underside.

I did not intend to fall in love with you, but I am glad it happened, as you are the best thing that my entire life has ever understood.

Sweet Love Quotes for Him

It’s difficult to say that the words that would say whatever you are feeling looking into the man who means the world for your eyes. This isn’t merely passion or affection, that something which makes you realize that you are taking a look at somebody who makes your own life really meaningful, makes you feel joyful even if all else is a mess. This is but it does not mean we should not try. Have a look at these love phrases if you can not find the words to say what you feel inside and discuss them. If you talk from the center the authorship does not matter.

You’re everything I dream of night and will think about. If you kiss me or touch me, my heart beats quicker. You all to me, baby. Are you going to be with me? It is not the location, it is the person with that cause you to feel as though you are home, that you’re. When with you and I met, I found my property.

It isn’t important where you’re, since you’re always in my heart. You want me, just close your eyes and feel that my love that’s with you.

I caught myself thinking about you this afternoon and began wondering how long that the picture was on my thoughts. I then understood that you’ve not left my thoughts as the minute I saw one for the very first time.

Your existence makes it all better. Once I met you that the planet turned into a much better place to call home, and I become a better individual.

I used to conceal out of this planet in my own dreams.

After I saw you I thought you were perfect and I fell in love with you, but I noticed that you’d imperfections and that I fell in love with you more.

Love Quotes for husband

At the age of the world wide web, we’ve got a great deal of chances for communications, and that is absolutely excellent! We could tell our nearest ones we love them without any attempts, by simply sending a wonderful message or a picture. Do not miss your opportunity to remind boyfriend or your spouse that you don’t ever quit thinking of him, that is easy. Pick among those sweet love quotations and discuss it with your significant other on some of those social networks. Do that a gesture will be appreciated Love Quotes for husband:

When I had to pick the time I might be with you, I would need it to be forever. I really don’t care about what’s occurred because it doesn’t have anything to do with love ow will occur I have for you.

Once I saw you for the very first time, I was somewhat afraid to meet with you. When you and I met I was reluctant to kiss you. I was fearful as though I did, that you did not love me, when I kissed you for the first time. However, now I adore you more than anybody and you adore me, I’m scared to lose you.

My backyard would not know bounds if I had been given a flower for every time my thoughts were around you.

I understand that I’m not your very first date, or love or kiss… however I understand I can be your very last everything.

We were just two strangers that lived underneath the exact same blue heavens above and fulfilled accidentally. Soon this stranger, although Initially we enjoyed each other turned more powerful. And within my heart I believe that you’re somebody someone I have been waiting all my life to fall in love with.

Love Quotes for Him from the heart

Many people today state that connections are a job that is tricky, a few call them enjoyment. Ironically, but the right of everyone. The chance to be with a person that you love is enormous joy, but it does not indicate that we are able to forget about one another’s interests, customs, and other items that make us distinctive personalities. The connection means making a marriage, and esteem is, consequently, meant by that. One other important thing most of us must consider is that relationship can not exist without the flame which may be kept alive with the assistance of the wonderful deep words mentioned to each other.

We match each other so perfectly like two bits of one mystery. Affection implies you can not live without somebody’s strengths; adore means that you’re prepared to accept somebody’s defects. Love relies mostly on forgiveness. If you love, you’re prepared for an infinite act of bias, meaning that you simply give up the right to harm someone for the harm they attracted to you. How I love you can not be compared to rain which begins and goes off. How I adore you can be when compared with atmosphere that’s imperceptible and silent but never leaves you. Enjoy is a two-way road that’s always under reconstruction. Throughout your lifetime you will meet countless individuals who will not touch your heart in any way. But you meet with one individual who’ll change your life. One card does not mean a thing, although They’re distinct colors, they have various symbols.

Best Love Quotes for him

Sayings about love do not need to be super and lengthy complicated to be purposeful. If you do not wish to seem like William Shakespeare composing your morning message into a boyfriend, but nevertheless wish to show him that you think about your beloved prince, then utilize these brief but genuinely touching love quotations ! Best love quotes for him:

Everything I know for certain is that you’re my angel, not my boyfriend.

You’re my inexhaustible supply of pleasure, inspiration and motivation. Thank you for picking me!

I think that it’s all your fault I wake up each morning grinning.

Each and every single day of my life is intriguing since I’m in love with you.

The quantity of the sunshine does not have some impact on how bright my entire day is. It is your smile which makes my days glowing.

To appreciate you’ve never been an issue of a choice, your grin left me with no choices. To appreciate you’ve ever been the requirement.

I’m hopeful you understand how to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation as you take my breath away.

If there is anything I’ve ever done in my entire life, it was once I gave my heart for you.

A good deal of people tried to answer this particular question, and a number of them triumph, but we don’t have the definition which would explain it. It is still, although we call it different names, we use adjectives. It will not prevent us and that is beautiful. What could be more lovely than fans which don’t allow the brto break-heir marriage how deep their love is? Have a glimpse if you’re that type of couple!

You’re the reason I smile more frequently, shout a whole lot less, and sing just like a Disney princess with critters.

I ceased searching for a paradise since I’ve found it in you. I stopped waiting with you’ve come to be a great deal better than fantasies, to observe fantasies.

Thinking about you’ve become my favorite action.

When I needed to confront the decision between breathing and adoring you, along with my final breath I would tell you I adore you. I love you, it moves and simply.

I will say the phrase”love” was unknown for me I met you.

Love Quotes for Him from the heart

What is love? How do we distinguish fire, enthusiasm, sympathy and it? These quotations are what can clarify the gap. Love is something magical, something which makes you believe you may never be more happy. It is dedication and sacrifice, it has focus and support. The list of adjectives, nouns phrases and words describing it’s infinite, but you do not have to utilize this language, just choose among those funniest expressions, send to a husband or boyfriend and revel in his response!

Once we spend some time together, I do not even think of different things or people. All I need is to get additional time. You’re my one and just love that resides in my spirit and in my heart.

My life is not the same because I met you and I wish to be that woman who’d force you to say your life has shifted because you met me.

It is not due to something you have I adore you. Because of how that you make me feel as though I am close to you, I adore you.

Authentic love is worth waiting. You proved me That which I needed but was reluctant to do , I would like to do with you personally, because when I’m with you I’m fearless.That I know it sounds dumb but each time that I miss you, I look at our old discussions and they make me grin like an idiot. I hear the songs that remind me and I start missing you more.

Many people today believe love and cute quotes are for ladies, men don’t want them. It is not correct. Everybody would like to hear he is adored. In regards to love, never hesitate to express your emotions. Obviously, it does not indicate which you will need to send messages each and every moment when he’s about the company meeting, however a quote at the day or at the morning is a fantastic idea!

You’re my life source including all the pleasure and love you provide daily. I loved you I love you , and I’ll love you until the end of the time. My goddess, I adore with all my heart.

The minute you came in my life I understood that we’d be together until the final breath. You are loved by me! Wherever you go, since you’re my world, I would like to follow you.

I’m always thinking about you. I get up in the morning or visit babe through the nighttime, I think about you. I think of you I am in the office or return home. Since you’re my everything, You’re constantly in my mind. However, allow me to inform you that each time I’m with you of joy and pleasure. You say or do something which makes me fall in love with you over and over again, even over the day before.

For me personally, you’re perfect just the way you’re. I really don’t know.

Cute Love Quotes for him

People today say that we should not be reluctant since it is delight, not the crime, to express our love, but the simple truth is that the fear of rejection is too powerful. The way to fight with this? We have to all understand before trying that we can not attain any results. ‘No’ is painful, but you will never know if he isn’t likely to say ‘yes.’ The matter is to get the words to express your own emotions, and if it is not a simple job for you use these quotes that are amazing!

Once I look into your eyes, I find what I have always dreamed of.

Once I am with you, I really feel as I’m more than I actually am.

If you touch my hands, you put my heart on fire.

Love would be to feel that someone takes care of you personally. I would like you to know I adore you so I take good care of you.

Although I’m not your first love, I prepare yourself to be your final one.

Love is something which wakes up your spirit, which makes you try for longer, that puts fire in your heart, so which brings peace to your life. With you I’ve found love!

Love is the feeling that is most delightful. It promotes it makes your life meaningful, however it is lost by some people today? There are various types of love? Why can we consider somebody’s like being an actual feeling, while another love is called”bogus”? The matter is that some people today believe everything is going to be performed for them. The connection is a job that is challenging, but it can not exist without your focus. That reminding your significant other he means the world is significant. Do not allow things, the regimen, and people separate you . This gesture can make your relationship stronger, although Preventing the sweetest is simple.

I expect you are aware that which makes you smile daily is my top priority.

The minute I met you was the best thing that’s ever occurred to me I would not exchange it for anything in this entire world. You are my joy, my life, my all and I love you to back and the moon.

How can I know you love me? I know you will be present to reach back to my palms when I reach my hands out to yours.

In love there’s not any logic, queries or second thoughts. If you love, you question or do not believe that your love, you feel that individual. And I wish to say I adore you!

I can not and do not wish to imagine my life without you inside. You’re the reason I believe in love. You’re there to bring a grin whenever I feel angry. A day was not you could not make me grin. All I need is to devote the remainder of my life!

My entire world turned upside down the minute I saw you. Then there was nothing that I could view, but your attractiveness. There was but pure bliss by being about you that I felt.What’s love? It is the combination of two natures in this way that another is enriched by every character and makes it grow.

A man can’t live without it, or can not live without inspiration. Love is a feeling that provides it. Additionally, it requires some fuel! What motivates us? Each and every day we have a opportunity to inform our ones which they’re the very best and they are loved by us, but we forget about it. Do not allow the daily makeover forget on your soulmate. Some focus along with a love quotation that is encouraging is likely to create!

That comes the day when you locate a person whose thoughts take away your breath and you understand that breathing does not really matter how much.

When I understood you would live a hundred decades and no longer, I’d love to live for a hundred decades but without one day. In this manner I would not have to live without you.

Love is only a word before the moment you find somebody special who’d come along and provide the term authentic significance.

Among the main matters in life is to find love, to find out how to donate it to other people and to allow it to enter your life permanently.

Many people today think that if a individual actually misses somebody, the odds are, the object of the love feels the exact same way about these. I’m pretty certain it is not possible that you miss me just as much as I miss you.

The guy who I keep dreaming about every evening and the guy next to whom I need wake up every morning is that. You are!

To appreciate sometimes means nothing whatsoever. Being adored means something.

Once we fall in love we find ourselves to be rather different from that we were earlier.

Each time I’m right next to me personally, I feel like I’m the happiest man in the world.

Every other is your very best and only thing in life which we must continue to.

Orgasmic Love Pictures for Him

Technologies and social networks give us a great deal of opportunities that are cool to convey. Why don’t you use them love his presence and to inform your boyfriend that is beloved just how much you love him? All these pictures with captions are heartfelt sufficient to make him smile and remind him. Select the one that you think he will enjoy and ship it inside a messenger or on Facebook, Twitter. Such a gesture is likely to make his love more powerful and his disposition better!

[renaroo]

Promises (5/30)

Disclaimer: Batman and associated characters are the creative property of DC Comics. Warnings: One Year Later/Evil Cass allusions Rating: T Synopsis: For an entire year after the Crisis which threatened to wipe everything they knew and loved off the Earth, after so many hardships and loved ones lost, Cass and Tim find themselves battling on different sides of the globe not only for the fate of what’s left of the world, but for the sake of once again feeling purpose. [A One Year Later fixer upper]

A/N: WOW. Super long time, no updates. But, hey, I’m back in the swing of things and I’m here to make up for it with a giant chapter of feelings~

Special thanks to @secretlystephaniebrown for being just a fantastically supportive friend and for giving long ago feedback on this sucker before the hiatus <3

A Grave Awakening

Everyone in Titans Tower had, in some form or fashion, personalized their rooms. Their preferences and needs were all met in every way possible. Which made it somewhat more of a curiosity how the unpowered among them would decorate.

From what Starfire and Cyborg had said to him, Tim had taken the same approach to dressing up his room and locker the way the Robins before him had. Plain and boring.

His colors matched his uniform, and there was a photograph from his, Cassie, Bart, and Kon’s first day at the tower. 

There was some training equipment, a punching bag and the like. 

And endless supply of batarangs should he choose to open any of the doors of his dressers as well as a lot of other equipment. 

A computer desk, a gaming chair that only really got use when Bart invaded some of his personal space. 

Bland was perhaps a word Tim found more apt for his tastes than boring. And that was not any unplanned thing. Tim had known from the start exactly what he was doing. 

Not leaving a mark.

Tim’s grandest fear for years was the belittlement and degradation of the Robin name. That somehow his very use of it, his role, would take from the people that came before or after him. He had been trained endlessly to follow their steps, but also to not step out of line.

The impression he was responsible for making within the hero community went almost without saying: he was the new Robin. Not the Robin. Not that one. Not...

Throughout the entire room there was only one break from the Spartan bareness that Tim had taken up, and that was a ridiculous, oversized clock that hung across the room from his bed that was a gaudy Gotham souvenir in the shape of the projecting Bat Signal in the Gotham night. 

It was black and yellow, but the most annoying part about it was the thick outline toward the edges -- a bright white strip that, at night, had the audacity to glow in the dark. 

It was hideous and annoying. 

Tim had never once touched it to so much as take it down let alone set it. After all, it had been a long standing challenge between him and Kon. 

Kon had gotten it as a gag. Kon had hung it in Tim’s room without permission. Kon had refused to take it down despite Tim demanding he do so. 

When Tim looked at that gaudy, awful clock, he thought of his best friend. He thought of the one person who had trusted him -- and only him -- like no one else in the world. He thought about the only person who knew his identity in the Tower, who knew he had Enya CDs in his collection, that he would defend Stephanie’s right to be Robin even against his former teammates. 

He looked at that clock and it was suddenly all horrifically apparent to Tim that in the grand scheme of things, he truly had lost. 

And it didn’t matter what the world threw his way from that moment forward, he was not going to feel more terrible than he did in that exact moment. 

Tim set on the edge of his bed, staring at the awful clock on the opposite wall when he heard the hesitant knock on the door of his room. He turned just enough to see that it was Bart, looking particularly out of place not bursting in and taking charge of the room as per his usual manners. 

“Hey, uh...” Bart stumbled on his own words, bringing a hand to his mouth and chewing on a finger nervously before trying again. “We... I think almost everyone who’s coming is... come. So... They’re outside right now.”

Looking at Bart, Tim attempted to muster some sense of feeling, some words of comfort. After all, he was fairly sure that Bart had never lost someone on this magnitude before. Not since Max Mercury and...

Still, Tim couldn’t stop the dumfounded staring at Bart. 

“I was sent to get you and Cassie,” Bart spat out at last. “So we can... Start. And things.”

Tim looked back down to his lap and folded his hands together. The rub of the leather against itself gave a satisfying crackling. It felt like that should’ve been more than answer enough for Bart or anyone else. 

But Bart was still waiting expectantly at the door. 

“Tim... I don’t know what to do,” he finally said. “It’s not fair that we’re asking you... asking you to...” He squeezed his eyes shut and lowered his head. Tim could already see the tracks of tears working their way down his cheeks. “I can’t ask it of Cassie -- no one could be that cruel to her. But, Tim... Tim. I... I know you’ve been to too many funerals lately. That I should be the one of us to go up and-and... but I can’t. I can’t stop crying every time I think about it. I’d run away, right off the stage.”

“No, Bart, you can’t do it,” Tim said lowly. “We’d never ask you to... This is hard for anyone. And you don’t want to. And we’d never tell you to do something you can’t do.”

“But you’ve--”

“I don’t have any tears left, Bart,” Tim said simply, drawing the speedster’s gaze entirely. Tim let out a dry laugh. “I don’t. I can’t... I have to do this because Kon deserves it. Just like Stephanie and my dad deserved it. But I didn’t have tears left for them either. The kids who died in my school deserved it. Orpheus deserved it. Not to mention all the heroes who died in the Crisis. Everyone deserves it, but I’ve only been asked to speak for one and... I have to make it count for all of them... because I don’t cry for them anymore. I have to make this one moment count.”

Once the word vomit was clear from his system, Tim looked back toward Bart, maybe looking for some reassurance or perhaps just acknowledgement that such feelings weren’t the epitome of selfishness in the face of the people who had truly lost everything. 

What he received instead was a stare of mounting horror from his childhood friend.

“Dude,” Bart whispered, breathless and lost in a way he never was from running. “Robin... you need... I’m so sorry.”

Genuinely surprised by the statement, Tim turned more toward the Kid Flash. “What do you mean? What are you sorry about?”

For once, Bart’s mouth didn’t seem to be working in his favor. After a few aborted instances of trying to get words out, he then turned and took off like a speeding bullet, as if to get as far away from Tim as possible.

Which... was fair. Tim wasn’t sure if he was the most consoling force in the world. At least not anymore. 

It wasn’t fair for him to not be supportive, to not be there for his closest friends at the time where they needed him most. But Tim couldn’t force himself to be better yet. 

Tim sat on the edge of his bed for a little longer, waiting for it to be time for him to out and lead everyone else in the one thing he couldn’t yet afford for himself: healing.

By the time Tim made his way down to the ground floor, the sun was setting and it was clear to see that Bart had not been exaggerating about everyone being there -- Titans then and past. 

He still found himself hesitant to step forward, because the statue before them was daunting, casting the kind of shadow in the golden sunset that nearly seemed as long as the one that Kon himself cast over them at that moment. 

Tim knew every Titan was there, but it still caught him off guard when Dick approached him, arm still in a cast, limp still obvious. He wasn’t in his Nightwing suit, though he wore the mask over his eyes. 

He had to have had Roy or someone else sneak him out of the Manor after all he had been through. There was no way Bruce or Alfred had let Dick out of their sights long enough for him to pull such a stunt alone. 

Dick approached Tim without any of the reluctance or hesitation that seemed to keep paralyzing Tim with every step. And despite his mask, it was clear that he was in the throes of concern for Tim. 

The intensity of it made him uncomfortable. 

“Tim,” Dick said softly. “Kory told me you had wanted to eulogize and... This year... This year has been too much on you. I was the one who asked Conner to help me during the Crisis, and as a Founding Titan... well I think it would be proper for me to do this.”

A flare of emotion that had been escaping Tim nearly all day came up in his chest and he narrowed his eyes. “I’m not a fragile doll, Dick,” he said lowly. 

“We know that, Tim,” Dick said. 

And it was that we that was suddenly very telling.

Perhaps Bruce did know about Dick escaping the Manor after all.

“If I don’t do this today, I’m never going to forgive myself, Dick. And that’s the truth. And if I don’t do it because of you, then I’m probably not going to forgive you for it either,” Tim announced with what he hoped was just the right amount of gravitas. 

For all the gravity, though, Dick seemed more saddened than anything. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Dick said. “Just know... I’m here for you.”

“Yeah...” Tim said, heading toward the other Titans. “Seems like everyone is.”

If Dick had more of a reaction to that statement, Tim didn’t turn back to see it. He was a man on a mission by that point. 

Fortunately no one else tried to stop him as he got in front of everyone and cleared his throat. 

"I... What I need to do is say something,” Tim said, already flummoxing. But as the eyes of all the Titans turned toward him, he built his resolve and continued. “About Superboy... about Kon. Because...” There were phrases like he deserved it and he would’ve wanted on the tip of Tim’s tongue. But none of them were true. Not entirely. 

But everyone was still looking to him, so Tim dug deeper, found words that felt hardened into his bones, felt larger than Kon, larger than his feelings toward everyone else lost as well. 

“He’s... gone now,” Tim said, brows furrowing as if the gravity of that fact was still new and surprising to him. “He was my best friend. Sometimes my big brother. Sometimes my little brother.” He paused, caught his breath, made an effort to not meet any eyes but also to not look away. There was a blur of a crowd before him and he couldn’t see anyone. Which was good. Because he could feel the tears welling up despite the fact that he didn’t think there were more of them in him. “We did some stupid things together... We talked about girls. We talked about cars. And... when my dad died... when Spoiler died... even when I really didn’t want to... we talked about that, too.”

Tilting his chin up, Tim caught his breath again. It was so damn hard to say, but he couldn’t stop himself anymore. 

His audience, despite Tim, was seemingly captivated. Caught in awe.

“I don’t know who to talk to now about that stuff. I guess there’s always Batman and Superman... I mean, in times of Crisis that’s what you’re supposed to do, right?” Tim went on. “Look to your heroes...” 

H reached up and roughly rubbed away the tears that escaped his mask, took another sharp breath. He could finally see who was around him at that point. The original Titans, or what stood of them by that point. The new Teen Titans and Titans alike. The Titans before his own, and then... him, Cassie, Bart... The members of Young Justice wearing clothes they’d long abandoned so as to pay respects. 

Uniforms of every color. 

“When we lose one of our own, we never know quite what to do,” Tim continued. “Because... we are the heroes. It doesn’t matter if we’re still seen as kids, if we’re still seen as young and maybe a little impatient. Because we’re the Titans. And in this time of Crisis, the world looked to all of us. We answered.” He looked up to Kon’s likeness in the statue, a crushing weight continuing to settle in his chest. “Kon answered. Because Superboy was a hero. And the whole world got to see that he deserved to be called it.”

Cassie burst into tears, tucked between Koriand’r and Bart, Tim knew she would be held up, even if he didn’t know if she’d be okay. So he finished up.

“They say that people live on… That you don’t forget them if you talk about them,” Tim said softly. “So let’s never stop reminding people what Superboy did for them.”

By the time Tim was stepping down from the front of the crowd, he felt it. The emotions that had been chiseled into his bones, gnawing from the inside out through the aches and pains of tiredness. He felt what had been missing since the night he found his father dead and his classmates murdered and his girlfriend tortured.

Tim felt the tears come and he kept them back long enough to walk away from the crowd, numb to the words Cyborg was currently giving, numb to everything but the tears that were managing to get past his mask and no doubt loosen the adhesive.

The only thing he could feel once his vision blurred was how strong Dick’s grip was when he caught Tim’s shoulders with his one good arm and pulled him back against his chest.

Nose bending against Dick’s chest, Tim didn’t care as he leaned in further until his forehead and chin were pressed into the fabric of Dick’s shirt and his head tucked under his mentor, friend, and brother’s chin. He didn’t care who saw, though he doubted anyone was paying attention as the ceremony continued on.

“Let’s get you home,” Dick whispered, rubbing circles into Tim’s back, still pressing him close. “I’m so sorry, Tim.”

Nodding along, Tim had little to say back. Just questions.

Questions like why was Dick sorry when there were those more responsible? And what was home anymore when he was fatherless and motherless and friendless and there was no Blüdhaven and—

He meant the Cave. The Cave was his home.

And there was something, even if Tim could only think of it peripherally, inherently wrong with that sentiment.

When they reached Gotham’s harbor it was well past sunrise. And, for reasons Tim refused to reflect on, he felt some tremendous relief at the realization. Not because it meant that he could finally stop flying the Batwing or because he would be able to lock himself in the guest bedroom that had been his officially for a week and unofficially for years.

There was something heavier there. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on until they dipped into the cloudy Gotham waters and finally entered the tunnels that took them to the Batcave far, far into Bristol.

He finally was able to put a finger to the emotions he felt when they came in for a landing and, against all expectations, Bruce was actually still awake and in the cave working. Still there. Still being Bruce.

And when that realization crept into Tim’s mind, the horrible truth set in.

Tim’s best friend was dead. But the man who made Brother Eye was as good as the father that Tim had lost only a few months before.

After realizing his own emotions, a nauseousness overcame Tim and he leaned forward, setting his forehead against the steering wheel of the Batwing. His eyes were wide, though hidden behind the loosened domino mask.

He felt sick. He felt wrong. He felt so goddamn ungrateful.

“Come on, buddy,” Dick’s always soothing voice called before Tim could feel the strong grip of Dick’s hand on his shoulder, shaking him once again. Always there to be a guiding light — that was Dick Grayson in a nutshell. “I know you have to be tired, but I’m not about to let you sleep in the Batwing. Not when there’s a warm bed and Alfred’s tea waiting on you just upstairs.”

Which meant walking past Bruce. Which meant walking past the man who built the construct that would eventually lead to almost losing Dick, to actually losing Kon.

The man he had looked up to his entire life. The man who took Tm under his wing. The man he loved like a father when he didn’t know what a father’s love felt like. The man who believed in him the way almost no one in the world could.

The man who had not so much as turned from the Batcomputer since their landing. The man who had not gone to the Metropolis statue ceremony. The man who had kept Tim out of the loop until Jack Drake was making his last phone call. The man who kept Stephanie Brown’s death a secret until Tim’s usefulness as Robin was realized during the Gang War.

The Batman, and all the complicated feelings that Tim had never addressed because how could he?

“Tim, I’ll carry you if you don’t walk. Just watch me,” Dick teased.

Without further prompting, Tim got to his feet and looked up at Dick.

Dick had already taken his mask off and his own exhaustion was clear in his face. Some sweat had accumulated just below his hairline, and strands of his hair had gotten caught in it, highlighting the obvious fact that Dick could use a decent haircut. He was sweating and weary from pain but he somehow managed to exude sympathy even before he reached forward and pulled Tim into another one armed hug.

“I’m so sorry, Timmy,” Dick repeated.

But Dick wasn’t the one that Tim wanted to be sorry.

They walked out of the Batwing together and both stopped close to the computer dock where Bruce sat. When he still didn’t turn around, Tim scowled and headed toward the lockers so he could change into the pajamas he could always count on Alfred leaving there.

Almost predictably, Dick went to Bruce to force the matter. It was what the original Boy Wonder was best at, after all.

“I see a lot of missed calls stacking up on the third monitor,” Dick declared as Tim ripped off what remained of his mask adhesive and began to yank at his boots and gauntlets. “They all look familiar, but you can never tell with how smart collect calls are getting these days. You ever asked one if they’re a robot? They get all offended, but they can’t say they’re not robots. It’s weird.”

There was a pause of silence where Tim was certain that Bruce was not going to bother answering. So much so, that as he unclasped his cape, Tim was almost startled by hearing Bruce’s gruff voice answer.

“They’re from the Justice League. Various members. Mostly founders,” Bruce replied.

“Do they need more help for the relief efforts?” Dick asked.

Tim pulled up his pajama pants and tightened the strings.

“They don’t want things to be messy, so my resignation would be preferable,” Bruce answered. “Diana has already tenured hers, setting the example. No one was going to ask her for it. Not even me. But she did it, and now it is the seemly thing for members of the League who are in violation of the Charter to do.”

“Booster Gold doing commercial endorsements isn’t in violation of the Charter?” Dick asked dryly.

“Booster Gold did not almost destroy time and space or invaded privacy on an international scale,” Bruce responded. “Worst of all… Brother Eye never once helped me to prevent the unpreventable.”

“It was the wrong way to go, but they can’t have a Justice League without a Batman,” Dick urged. “If you don’t resign and it’s put to a vote, who on the current roster would stand with you?”

Tim closed his locker door quietly and looked back toward the dock, wondering if the list in his mind was close to Bruce’s.

“No one,” Bruce answered coldly.

He was wrong. Tim’s reserve status as established by the same clause that had allowed Dick as Robin and Jason after him to work on League cases would have made Tim eligible for voting privileges.

Tim would still defend him. Even in his angriest, his saddest, his loneliest.

Because Bruce was still Batman.

“No one would,” Bruce repeated.

Without saying goodnight or acknowledging either in the cave at all, Tim started on his way upstairs. He needed rest almost as much as he needed closure, and his near sycophant nature on the matter was making him nauseated all over again.

Neither Dick nor Bruce seemed to notice his departure.

It was still debatable if Bruce had realized he was there at all.

Heading upstairs, the exhaustion hit Tim like a Ferrari at one-sixty, and even the mental image of such a thing felt appealing compared to the truly rotten guilt that was eating away at him from the inside out.

He had no plans other than to reach his room and collapse into his bed.

But, of course, there was always something unexpected along the way.

The guest room Tim had made his own was merely one of several in the wing of Wayne Manor. Dick’s old room was a bit further down, close to the Master where Bruce of course slept. Tim had been offered Dick’s room before, but considering the trauma of Blüdhaven and everything with it that Dick had undergone, no one had to even ask Tim to move further down the hall. He did it the moment he saw Bruce and Alfred drag Dick home from the Gang War.

There was also Jason’s room. A room that had never been a topic for discussion in all the years Tim had had access to the Manor. And it remained even more so recently.

What Tim wasn’t used to, even if in the back of his mind he was always aware of it, was the guest room that was reserved for one person who never utilized it.

And he was certainly not expecting to see her sitting in the middle of the room’s floor with the door wide open.

“Cass?” Tim called out, stopping in the hall.

Cassandra was sitting in the floor with her back to him, though much like the brief time they had lived together in Blüdhaven, it wasn’t much more than a loose tank top and leggings. Her body was folded over, hugging her knees, chin resting until she heard Tim call out.

Of course he hadn’t surprised her or snuck up on her, but she apparently had been anticipating that Tim walk on by. Because when Cassandra turned to face Tim, tears were fully falling from her cheeks.

“Cassandra,” he muttered again, taking a subconscious step into the room. “How long have you… What’s going on—“

“Didn’t go,” she told him.

“Didn’t go?” Tim repeated in confusion.

“To see him,” Cass said lowly. “To say goodbye.”

Then he remembered — of course. Kon had been the first boy outside of Gotham that Cass truly got to know, the first other hero to get to know her. He was a friend to her, too.

And Tim hadn’t even thought of what Cass had lost recently.

“I know you’re not a Titan, but… If you had told me you wanted to go, Dick and I would’ve taken you,” Tim assured her, getting down to his knees to be more on Cassandra’s level. “I would’ve taken you. I know he was… he was your friend and mine and…”

Cassandra shook her head once, but meaningfully. It was more than enough to let Tim trail off without pressing further.

“I’m… not the same person,” Cass said almost quietly, tears still falling. “I’ve… I’ve volved, Tim.”

“Solved?” Tim asked, still confused, before hesitating as he saw her shoulder, his eyes adjusting to the room.

Cass had never been particularly shy about her body, to what was usually Tim’s dismay, but because of that he had seen her collection of scars. None stuck out more vividly in his head than the exit wound on her shoulder that he had seen up close and personal before. It was large — having grown with age since her father had shot her when she was still so young. And seeing it, remembering it, had always managed to bring Tim’s blood to a boil.

But, right then, at that moment, it wasn’t there.

None of them were.

“Your scars…” Tim said out loud, astonished before looking to Cassandra’s face, searching for an answer. “They’re gone.”

Her tears kept falling but her expression didn’t change. “I’m not the same,” Cass said. “Lazarus… I’m not the same. Please. Please, Tim. Don’t… Don’t tell Batman.”

Tim stared at her, processing everything. His brain was still a foggy mess of emotions and repressions and all the more. But for that moment, clarity hit him.

He was good at being able to shove his feelings aside to put someone else’s first. Most of the time. This time.

With a little hesitation, Tim grabbed Cass’ shoulders with the same strength that Dick had done with him for most of the day. It was enough to put her full attention on him. “I won’t. I’m here for you,” he assured her.

Dick probably would have ended it with a hug, but Tim wasn’t there yet. He couldn’t give out those with the same meaning. But Cass seemed to be in tune, as she reached up and put her hands over his to squeeze them back. And they both let the tears come.

By the time he woke up in the morning, Tim wasn’t sure who was responsible for putting the blankets over him and Cass as they had passed out on the floor of her room.

[ficdirectory]

Blink (An AU Fosters family fic) Chapter 34

CHAPTER 34

 Morning comes too quick.

Now it’s light.  Now it’s real.  Now it’s gonna happen.  But before the dread of leaving Pearl really has the chance to settle in his chest, Jesus hears it: Frankie’s voice.

 She’s singing.

 “I wanna be where the people are.  I wanna see, wanna see them dancing.  Walking around on those, what do you call them?  Oh.  Feet.”

 She sounds happy.

 Jesus lifts a corner of one of the blankets to peek at her.  He waves.

 She waves back.  Gets up.  Comes over.  Sits by the outside of the table.  “I wish I got to sleep inside of a tent for our campout…”

 He holds the blanket aside.  “Wanna come in?”

 Eagerly, she crawls inside.  “Cuddle?” she asks.  

 At his nod, she gets really close and leans into him.

 “What’s up?” he asks softly.

 “Ariel gots a tail.”

 “Yeah?” he asks.  Jesus isn’t always sure where Frankie’s going when she starts a conversation but he wants to be sure she knows he’s listening to her.

 “Mm-hmm.  She wants to walk like the people but she can only swim inside of water.  If she grows legs for real she has to not have any voice.”

 Jesus thinks for a minute.  “That sounds like it would be a hard thing.”

 “Yeah, she just wants to do what all the other people can do.”

 “Doesn’t she live with a bunch of other mermaids?  Or, mer-people?”

 “Yes but she knows the best world is where people walk without tails.”

 “Do you think Ariel’s a good swimmer?”

 “Of course I do,” Frankie smiles.

 “I think she probably can swim fast, and knows how to do lots of things that people without tails can’t do.”

 “Like swim faster than sharks!” Frankie exclaims.

 Jesus shushes her, not really thinking about it, until it gives him a weird, unsafe feeling.  He makes himself take a deep breath, slow.  To try and calm down.  Nobody will die if Frankie’s not quiet.  Their lives aren’t in danger.  They’re okay.  

 Still, the feeling hangs around.

 By now, Frankie’s talking about how she wants popcorn for breakfast.  Jesus thinks of French toast.  Of having to stay here and have breakfast with the fam.  He crawls out from under the table.  Looks out the back door into the yard.  No sign of them yet.

 He checks out the living room.  Somehow, Mariana and Callie are still asleep.  No one else is awake.

 --

 In the cabin next door, Pearl has been up for hours.  She never really went back to sleep after the weird nightmare that she had.  It’s one of those that feels so real she knows the exact spot where Jesus crouched in the dream.  The exact corner.  How it smelled in here.  Like dirt and sweat and so much fear.

 She can’t shake it.  She’s gonna need to see for herself that he’s okay and not being chased through the woods.  Strangely, it’s the first time she hasn’t needed to shower for an obscene length of time, or actually check herself over to be sure she’s not bleeding like she always is in the nightmare.

 At 7:30, Gracie needs to go out and Pearl is more than ready.  She cranes her neck to see the little back step.  Empty.

 Wait - no.

 “Pearl.  When you’re back, if you want, come and have breakfast.  French toast,” Jesus calls.

 She waves, an acknowledgement.  She’s not a big breakfast eater, but she might make an exception today.  She hasn’t eaten yet.  Might as well see if she’s developed a taste for anything heavier than a granola bar or yogurt in the morning.

 It’s still snowy.  Still cold enough to take your breath, but the sun is out.

 When Gracie’s done walking and doing her business and sniffing absolutely everything, they walk up the back step of Frank’s cabin and knock on the sliding glass door.  (If her cabin had one of these, she’d prefer it.  Always being able to see who’s on the other side.)

 “Hey.  Come in,” Jesus says, pulling open the door for them.

 She takes a deep breath, “It smells like heaven in here,” she says and means it.  She can’t remember the last time she was not responsible for making breakfast herself.

 “Well, thank you so much,” Stef says from the stove.

 “Need any help?” she asks, as Frankie rushes up to them.

 “Can I pet Gracie?” she asks.  “We really missed each other.”

 “Honey…” Stef starts, casting an apologetic glance Pearl’s way.

 “Sure, you can,” Pearl nods.  Now her attention is on Stef.  “What can  I do?”

 Pearl has never been one to sit back and let others do all the work, though the kids, including Jesus, don’t seem to mind if Stef and Lena are busy and they aren’t.  Pearl tries not to judge, but it’s hard.  She grew up with a single parent.  Had to help her mom.  There was no question.  They wouldn’t survive otherwise.

 By the time they sit down to breakfast, Pearl almost feels at ease.  The more time she spends around Stef, the more she remembers all the things she loved about her.  It feels patently unfair that they’re leaving tomorrow.

 “Can Gracie come to our house?” Frankie asks, around a bite of French toast.

 “She is at our house,” Brandon supplies.

 “I mean our California one.  Can you guys come there since we came here?”

 “It’s a long drive,” Pearl points out weakly.

 “You fly on a plane,” Frankie explains.  “It makes you go super fast.”

 She doesn’t know what to say, and she’s distracted by Mariana who’s whispering to Jesus.  He hasn’t touched his food.  She reaches in her pocket and hands him a granola bar under the table.

 They lock eyes and he puts it in his pocket.  Then he picks up his fork and starts to eat.  No easy way to store French toast and eggs must’ve hung him up a little, but at least he’s eating now.

 Pearl picks up her own fork and eats, too.  The food is good.  She actually has an appetite and finishes everything, before bringing her plate to the sink, rinsing it and opening the dishwasher to find all clean dishes waiting.

 She bends down and starts putting them away.  Gracie’s beside her.  And before she knows it Jesus is too:

 “Um, can we get out of here?” he asks, looking skittish.

 “Yeah, I was just gonna help your moms by finishing this and then we can go.  Wanna help?” she asks, hoping her annoyance at all the kids’ reluctance to pitch in doesn’t show.

 “I...can’t,” he whispers.  He looks torn.

 “I don’t understand,” Pearl blinks.

 “I can’t help with kitchen chores.  Trauma thing,” he says simply.

 “Is the fact that I’m doing this making you nervous?” she wonders.

 “Yeah,” he nods.

 So, as anxious as it makes her to leave a mess behind, she takes Jesus at his word and gathers her things to go next door.

 “Please come back and say goodbye,” Stef begs, wrapping Pearl in a warm hug that she’s not ready for, but relaxes into.  It’s everything she wanted as a child.  To be seen.  Noticed.  Affirmed by older, cooler, Stef.

 “I will.  Tomorrow morning.”

 “Oh, we’ll be out the door early,”

 “I’ll be up,” Pearl says at the same time as Jesus insists: “She’ll be up.”

 --

 In Pearl’s cabin again, Jesus feels like he can finally breathe. Relax.  Be.  It’s his favorite thing about this place.  There’s so much on his mind.  The trip home feels like it weighs a million pounds.  There’s the packing.  The being in the car.  The airport.  LA.  The meal situation being all screwy.  Even thinking about it makes him feel a little panicky.

 “I didn’t know about your kitchen thing.  Sorry,” Pearl apologizes.

 “It’s fine,” Jesus says absently.

 “What’s on your mind?” Pearl wonders.  Gracie rests her head in Pearl’s lap.  Jesus is a little jealous.

 “Going home.  Coming out here was so hard.  And leaving, I know what to expect, so it’s gonna suck even more.”

 “Is there any way I can help?”

 “...And I told Frankie to keep it down this morning, you know, ‘cause everybody was still sleeping?”

 “Right,” Pearl follows.

 “And for a split second I felt that like...major level of terror.  Like being quiet used to mean the difference between staying alive and just...not.”

 “Sounds terrifying…” Pearl says, but her eyes are saying I understand.  It makes Jesus feel better.  Like he’s not the only one who’s felt freaked out over small shit.

 “Can I tell you something?” she asks.

 He nods, curious.

 “You were in my dream last night.”

 “What was I doing?” Jesus wonders.

 She swallows.  “Running.  You wanted to hide in my cabin.”

 Jesus waits.  He’s not sure if this is gonna be a good dream or a bad one.  Or how much Pearl wants to say about it.  Finally, though, Jesus can’t stand it and has to ask.  “You let me, right?”

 “I did.”

 He breathes a sigh of relief.  “Because you said you would.  If it was you who saw me walking home, you would make sure I was safe.”

 “In my dream, you really wanted to go home, though,” Pearl admits.

 “How old was I?”

 “About ten.”

 “That makes sense.  And I do really want to be home, but I don’t wanna actually go.  The idea of traveling is making me really freaked out.  We didn’t really plan how tough coming here would be for me.  So I just don’t want it to be like that again.”

 “So, plan for it.  Seriously.  If you need to talk something through with me, or your therapist, or your moms?  I’m here.  You guys can talk over here if you need privacy or whatever.  Gracie and I can go out and walk around or something.”

 “I wouldn’t even know where to start…” Jesus admits.

 “What’s one thing you’re worried about?  With traveling?”

 “Everything,” he says, feeling hopeless.  He can’t isolate just one thing.  One thing becomes an avalanche of things all threatening to overwhelm him just like that.

 “Listen,” Pearl says, sitting forward on the couch.  She’s wearing the bracelet he gave her still.  Looking at him in the eyes.  “Are you worried about food?”

 “Yeah, because it’s unpredictable.  We don’t eat on a schedule.  And it’s a lot of fast food, and that and the car is just…”

 “Say you didn’t have to worry about food for some reason.  Say a miracle happened and it was okay.  Just that thing.  What else is bothering you?  The car, you said?”

 “And the airport.  And LA…” Jesus adds.

 “Well, you know who helps me through situations that feel unsafe?”  Pearl scratches Gracie behind the ears.

 “We all can’t be so lucky,” Jesus says wistfully.  But the idea of a service dog for trauma stuff sounds so awesome.  If only he could get one.  If only he could trust it to help him like Gracie helps Pearl.

 “I mean, what about a buddy?  For traveling?  You pick someone in your family to be with you for a certain part of the trip.  Somebody who makes riding in the car easier.  Somebody who keeps you safe in the airport.  Somebody you trusted in LA.”

 “Would they go for it, you think?” Jesus asks, nervous.  “I mean, I depend on them for a lot already.”

 “If it were me,” Pearl says.  

 “Then I’d say, they’re your family.  They’re supposed to be there for you.  You help each other out.”

 “Right.  So you need help with this.  They’d wanna know that.  They’d want to help.  And now you know what you might need to help you manage in those situations so you can ask them for that.”

 “Yeah, they did say that to me once.”

 He remembers the first time he was able to talk to his moms about something that was bothering him - the door to his bedroom - which they kept closing at night.  They told him that they wanted being home to always feel like a situation where he could feel the most safe.  He’s pretty sure the same is true now.  But he also can’t quite forget Monday when Mom lost her shit and he lost his and they were both out of control.

 Jesus can’t deal with this at all if his family can’t keep it together - especially Mom.  She’s the one he needs by his side in the airport.  On the plane.  In LA.  If she’s still mad or scared or whatever, then she obviously can’t keep him safe.  He’s starting to feel distant.  But he sees Pearl motion to Gracie, who goes to Jesus, puts her front paws on his knees and licks his face.

 “Hey,” Pearl says, softly.  “You’re with me.  We’re okay.”

 “Yeah.  I’m with you,” he echoes and wishes it could always be like this.