#this is your sign to google every word you don’t know. learning new words is fun because you can express complex ideas to greater specificit

[goatpowers]

What the person above said and this too.

The whole “scientists use big words on purpose to be exclusive” is such a bunch of anti-intellectual bullshit. Specific and concise language exists for a reason; you need the right words to convey the right meaning, and explaining stuff right is a hugely important part of science. Cultures that live around loads of snow have loads of words to describe different types of snow; cultures that live in deserts have loads of words to describe different types of sand. Complex language is needed for complex meaning.

[cozage]

Hi, I wasn’t sure exactly what OP characters you wrote for, but I just figured I’d shoot my shot. So Robin, Vivi, and Boa having their s/o suddenly pull a kabedon on them.

A/N: This is actually my second kabedon request in my inbox (and I hope i did it right!) so I’m just going to combine them and give everyone all at once. Ladies first of course! (This is my first time writing any ladies…I’ll leave it up to you to decide if I can actually keep them in character or not)

Characters: gn reader x Robin, Vivi, Boa, Zoro, Law, Shanks

Cw: none :)

Total word count: 1.2k

Kabedon 

(for those of you who don’t know it’s when character A walks up to character B and hits the wall next to their head, which results in character B being pinned against the wall and the two characters being very close. Used romantically in a lot of anime to show affection. You can google it for a photo reference!)

Robin

Robin is learning against the wall, reading a book, when your hand hits the wall near her head.

Her eyes slide over to your hand on the wall, now keeping her pinned in place. She smirked at your boldness. 

“Are you doing what I think youre doing?” she says, her eyes flicking back to yours. Her blue eyes hold mischief and something else that you can’t quite place.

“Maybe,” you tease. You bend in close, so youre only centimeters from her face now. “What do you think I’m doing?” you whisper.

You can see it now, she’s nervous with excitement and the thrill of the chase. “I don’t know,” she breathes out, and you can feel her breath tickle your skin as she speaks. “What are you doing?”

“Oh, nothing.” You pull you hand back and lean away from her. “Just testing out a theory.” 

You walk away standing tall and proud of the ability to make Nico Robin nervous, leaving her standing mouth agape in shock.

Vivi

Vivi is excitingly chatting with you about a new trade agreement she thinks is going to go through when you lean in and hit your hand against the wall.

She barely skips a beat, continuing to talk and explain how amazing it will all be for Alabasta. 

You intended to do it to get her to be shocked, but now you’re standing this close to her and you’re starting to get nervous. 

“Hey, are you okay?” She stops, looking at you with concern. “You hit the wall kind of hard and now your face is red.”

You laugh at that. She’s so close that you can smell the smell of melon she had for breakfast this morning, still lingering on her breath. 

“Vivi darling,” you coo to her. “Do you know what a kabedon is?”

“Yeah! Its-” she looks at you, and then at your hand next to her, and her face goes as red as yours. “Oh my gosh!”

She smacks you lightly, and you pull away, feigning immense pain from her soft hit, which sends her into a fit of giggles. 

“Tell me more about this trade deal now,” you say. And she launches back into all of the details. It all seems very boring, but her voice has such a nice ring that you have to listen to every word she says. 

Boa

Boa is resting against a stone wall watching the children play outside when you startle her with your hand slapping near her head

Her eyes snap open and look your way. “Do you want to be turned to stone?”

“That would be very unfortunate for me,” you quip, scrunching your face at her.

She glares at you, upset at being disturbed. “Then why are you so close to me right now?”

“Boa, my love,” you remove your hand from near her head and take a step back. “It’s a sign of affection.”

“Affection?” she says, and you can see that your piqued her curiosity and confusion. 

“Mmmhmmm,” you nod, putting your hand back where it was a little more gently now, lowering your voice as you close the gap. “See how close we are?”

You see her cheeks turn that familiar shade of pink, and her mouth part just a bit. “I quite like this,” she said softly.

“Me too,” you say, smiling back at her. 

Zoro

Zoro is watching his crew mates on the deck using the wall as a support, and his eyes follow you as you walk up and slam your hand down next to his head.  

He flinches slightly at the sudden noise, his eyes narrowing into a glare at you. 

“What do you want?” he groaned. You can hear the irritation thick in his voice.

“What do YOU want, Roronoa?” you replied, looking at him through your lashes. 

His eye twitches in confusion. “I want you to not slap the wood next to my face for no reason, I thought that was pretty clear!”

You laugh at his answer and roll your eyes, giving him a peck on the nose before you walk off. 

“What the hell was that?!” he screams after you.

“You’ll understand when you’re older!” You call back to him over your shoulder, giggling as you bounced away. 

Law

Law is waiting outside the Bepo’s room staring at the ground when your hand slaps the wall near his head. 

His eyes jerk up in irritation, but they soften slightly when they see you. Only slightly. 

“What are you doing?” He says. You can hear his voice is mostly irritated, but there’s also a bit of curiosity behind it. 

“Oh you know what I’m doing, Trafalgar Law.” You use the sweetest voice you can to address  him, and you see his irritation turn to surprise. You can see a bit of pink grace his cheeks, and he squirms a bit beneath you

You press closer to him but still don’t touch him your lips hovering right above his. You can see his gold eyes twitch down to stare at your lips, and you moisten them with your tongue in front of your captive audience.

You hear Bepo’s door turn, and you step back from your captain quickly. 

“And that’s why I was thinking about how useful it would be to have a a hydroelectric generator, you know?” You look at him innocently, like nothing had just happened between the two of you. 

Law stares at you, too flustered to respond. “I thought we already had a hydroelectric generator?” Bepo questioned, looking at your captain.

“We do?!” You knew that, you had picked it out a few months ago. You do your best to act like nothing happened, but Law isn’t as good of an actor. He’s still standing there slack-jawed, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. 

“Well, you should’ve told me that before I went into this whole pitch for one! That’s so embarrassing!” You saunter down the hallway away from them before they can respond, leaving Law breathless and Bepo extremely confused. 

Shanks

Shanks is standing on the deck watching his crew, when you walk up to him and pull the move.

“Hey hot stuff,” you say, slamming your hand next to his head.

“Hey yourself,” he says back, and his eyes glancing over to your hand. He instantly knows what you’re doing, and a bemused look falls upon his face. “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“Oh you know,” you move your face closer to his. “Just hanging out.”

He laughs at that, and he runs his hand through his hair. “That’s nice and all,” he sighs. 

It happens in an instant. His hand wraps around your torso and flips you around, so now your roles are reversed. You’re pressed against the hard wood of the ship, and his arm pins you into place. He has the cockiest smirk on his face, watching you stand there trying to figure out what just happened. 

He leans down, whispering softly in your ear. “But this is the way it should be, love.”

[j0kers-light]

Hey <3 What would Joker think about a reader who speaks lots of languages? Does he speak multiple as well? Would he learn some together with the reader? Or does he not really pay attention to that? Have a lovely day~

Hey hi my love!! 🖤✨

It’s a beautiful day actually and my brain is running a mile a minute to answer this. As someone who is trilingual, (and working on learning more) I find it tricky to answer this ask from Joker’s perspective. 

Because on one hand learning a new language is both daunting and fun; anyone can do it! However it does have a tendency to pinpoint origin and define you as a person. 

Joker knowing a different language (in my opinion) is too risky given his strict, “I have an untraceable past” reputation. If he starts speaking a different language, it can be traced back to his past.

So no. I don’t think Joker would bother learning a different language. He speaks English and sarcasm. Now if it were for the betterment of his Light? He might?

Joker believes that pain translates the same across all languages, so why bother trying to understand what a person is saying as they plead for mercy?

He doesn’t have the need to pick up a new language so English it is!

That all changes when he meets his Bunny who is a foreign speaker. And ohh boy, he wasn’t prepared.

Your accent, the speed in which you talk.. Joker finds it downright sexy! Everything you say has a bit of a kick to it.

He doesn’t know a word you’re saying most of the time and you use that to your advantage when you’re upset with him. 

You stop talking in English and rant in your mother tongue leaving Joker standing there like 👁️🫦👁️

Joker is a certified simp. We know this. He instantly bricks up hearing you speak, especially if you say something during sex that he can’t translate. Horn-Y to the point of no return. 🥵

He is in awe how you speak multiple different tongues in the same conversation, simply because you can. 

One minute you are cracking a joke in English, you pause to listen to someone speak (insert language) and then you reply in a third; effectively blowing J’s mind.

You are constantly translating in your head and thinking of the correct consonants and vowels to use while still engaging in conversation.

It takes a sharp mind and loads of patience that Joker greatly admires. How you do it? He’ll never understand but it’s definitely hot.

Joker finds out that you know to sign and can read Braille too by accident; what are you? A walking Rosetta Stone? At this point what language do you not know?

Imagine his disbelief when he discovers you can sing certain songs in several more languages…

Joker dubs you his Google translate and if he needs assistance, best believe he’s asking for your help. 

You turn to glare at your boyfriend in disdain. He really dragged you out of bed for this. “I don’t know Mandarin, Joker.” You say for the fourth time.

Your response isn’t what J was expecting and his wide grin slowly falls from his face. Tense seconds pass as he hides his disappointment. “Bunny… you know a loT of languages..”

“Yes, but not..” You pinch your nose with a sigh. You are not an automated translator that J assumes you to be. You don't know every language! (that would be so cool btw)

The best course of action is letting Joker's hopes and dreams down softly. “It’s a rather hard and complicated dialect to learn, J.”

“And that mumbo jumbo you sang the other day wasn’t hard?!”

You drew a blank at him cutting you off. “J, what are you talking about?”

“Uhh you sa~ng in the car jusT fine, what's stopping ya now?” He grumbled. It took you a minute to remember what he's talking about and even then, you're still confused.

“Joker. That was Hebrew. Completely different language. Omg, are you really that racist?” You ask.

The poor guy that Joker abducted will just have to wait until you and J finish arguing to confess that he's fluent in English. He's too invested in this discussion to interrupt.

So that was a self insert head canon anon sorry not sorry. 🤣🤣🤣🥴 To clear the air. 

I can speak English, Greek, and Spanish. Although I can read and comprehend Spanish better than speaking it. 😭

I began learning French and Russian when I was in school but dropped it for personal reasons. Oh! I totally forgot that my boss was teaching me Vietnamese for two years back in the day lol.

I can sing certain songs in Hebrew, Danish, Latin, Spanish, French, and Japanese. I also poorly translated a few chapters of a book in German out of desperation until the official release was published in English. 🙃 I'm a menace.

[prolix-yuy]

A Bearable Weight

Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x F!Reader

Summary: New Years Eve is the holiday of new beginnings, and you take a leap to see if Javi might be one of them.

Word Count: 3k

Story Warnings: T, plenty of sweetness, more ridiculousness because I can't help myself, some lightly spicy kisses. While this story is not explicit, my blog and the content shared on it is 18+ so MINORS DNI.

Notes: I had to get these two to New Years. They were just too cute to leave hanging. I hope each and every one of you reading this waves goodbye to anything that made your 2022 difficult and enters 2023 with open arms and excitement. Now let's see where the new year takes Javi and Conejita!

Cross-posted on AO3

The restaurant is smaller than you thought it might be, unassuming in a strip of businesses. The sign for it is understated, white lettering on a black rectangle with a thin gold border - Aperitif. You’ve been studying the sign, and the door below it, for well over ten minutes, the chill night air creeping up your bare legs. The new dress you bought for the occasion - black, tasteful but a little sexy, an amount you’re comfortable with - weaves around your knees when a breeze makes you shiver. You look down at your heels again, still torn between whether the glittery gold is too loud for your personality or loving that they make you feel festive. Your hair is styled, your makeup is perfect, everything is ready for you to go inside.

And you’re still rooted on the damn spot.

Javi texted you a few times since the first voice message. Every new phone alert made your heart jump, evolving to a flutter when it actually was from him. He sent you photos of his friends’ Christmas tree, their dog plopping her head in his lap, the snow outside a fogged up window. He also asked you things about yourself, some that you expected and others that made you stop and smile. 

What food will you eat if you’re having a bad day?

Best movies adapted from books?

Did your sister like the message?

Your sister did indeed, and after catching you grinning at your phone several times throughout the long weekend finally made you confess how you got it. Her elation over the serendipitous meeting was only eclipsed by your hesitation over seeing Javi again.

“Are you serious right now? Cute, funny, probably loaded, a dork, sweet, and definitely into you? I will drive you there and drop your ass on the sidewalk if you don’t do it yourself.”

So you accepted the invitation, which was accompanied by a string of excited texts filled with details and one that made you tingle from head to toe.

Thank you for accepting. I hope you will consider what I asked you in my first message. But only if you’re comfortable. I really like talking to you, no matter what.

A beat, then…

If you’d like to be mine, this year.

You did. Holy hell, you did. But you were also a classically trained overthinker, and the days leading up to New Years Eve were spent Googling and riding the rollercoaster of excitement and dread. The Gutierrez family had an online presence, and not all of it was good. Luckily it seemed like Javi wasn’t in the crosshairs, but the more you learned the more convinced you became that this was going to be a shitshow. Wealthy, influential, a lover of the arts and gorgeous in every photo you find, your hopes got buried a little deeper with each word.

He told you it was going to be a party, nothing large, but the idea of being in your department store dress among the elite of society made you want to cancel. Go out for coffee instead. Let yourself down gently when you realize how different your worlds are.

But then you find a voicemail - a missed call from Javi:

“Hi conejita, I hope all the texts have not been too much. I realize that you barely know me, and I am maybe moving a little too fast. I get…ah, well, I get excited. You have made me very excited, and I want to be, you know, ‘cool’ about it, but I am not so great at that. Anyways, I am…hah, yeah, excited to see you tomorrow. It will be a lot of fun. And, um…we don’t…I only want what you want, conejita. So let’s just…see where the night takes us. I know what I feel, but I…I only want you to…to know…agh! I am messing this all up. Sorry, this message is so long now. I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m…I’m really happy to see you tomorrow. Okay, bye.”

What’s the harm, you thought after listening to the message three times. If it’s terrible you never have to see him again.

Another breeze ripples over your skin, finally making you move towards the door.

And if it’s amazing?

You smile to yourself and enter the warmth of the restaurant.

Aperitif looked small from the exterior, and the interior is about what you expected. It could maybe seat 30 fully booked, but the dining room has been cleared out in favor of buffet servers against the walls, the ivory bar lined with champagne glasses and eager bartenders shaking cocktails. The handful of people chatting inside don’t look like heiresses or oil barons. Your shoulders relax a fraction.

“Name?” the man at the door asks, a short list in his hand. You give yours and are ushered in, a drink immediately put in your hand and a string of metallic gold beads tossed over your head by a waitress.

“Happy New Year!” she says, taking your coat. You slip into the crowd looking for the only person you came here for - Javi. But his caramel curls and exuberant laugh haven’t reached you yet.

“I love what they’ve done with the decorations!” a cheery voice exclaims over your shoulder. You look around, then up to see a delicate web of black and gold streamers holding balloons precariously above you. One single streamer hangs to the floor behind the bar, which an olive-skinned hand points to. “I think at midnight they pull that.” You turn to see the woman speaking to you, and she’s...normal-looking. Peppy brunette with a sharply cut bob, sparkling brown eyes, and a glittery top with black slacks. Maybe you had nothing to worry about.

“That’s fun, I haven’t been out on New Years in ages,” you say, taking a sip of champagne. The bubbles tickle your tongue pleasantly. It’s good, much better than any champagne you’ve had at parties.

“Oh then you’ve come to the perfect place! Who invited you?” she asks, finishing off her glass and placing it on a waiter’s tray as it floats by. 

“Javi,” you say, a little shyly. He mentioned that he was hosting it, but you had no clue who the other guests were. How long could you keep up the facade?

“Of course! How do you know him? I’m a long-lost cousin myself, been out of the loop for a while, but it’s nice to see him again.” She waits expectantly, and if you didn’t feel like throwing up before you definitely do now.

“Uhhh, we met…on a flight…” you start to say, working through how the hell you were going to explain the circumstances of your meeting to a stranger, when her eyes light up.

“Oh my GOD, it’s you!” she gasps, grabbing on to both your shoulders. “Javi told me about the girl on the plane on his way here. That story, the way he tells it, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. And you’re here! Now! I have to find him, he’ll be so excited!” She squeezes your shoulders again with a little squeal before darting through the crowd, a nervous giggle smothered in your hand.

He told people about you. 

He told people about you in a way that made him sound happy.

You could burst, the light inside you is so expansive. 

You’re about to follow when a large palm circles your bicep, turning you gently around in the crowd.

“You came.”

Javi says it like a prayer, like he believed but never thought a miracle would grace him. His curls are swept back from his face in tantalizing waves. He’s in a gray blazer, a navy button-up with some abstract patterning hanging onto his broad chest for dear life. The top three buttons already gave up the fight, chest dewy with the humidity in the room. But it’s his face that melts your anxieties away. His eyes drape warmth over you, fondness in their depths that he only hinted at in his messages. His soft smile lashes your heart into a gallop, breaking into one of your own.

“Of course. How could I miss it?” you say, winking when his grin widens. He leans forward to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, hand spreading across your lower back. 

“I am so happy to see you, conejita,” he whispers, raising goosebumps along the nape of your neck. 

Oh, you’re in it deep now.

As the night continues more people file in, filling the small space with chattering conversation. You find the bubbly brunette again, who introduces herself as Julia, and get to talking about houseplant care and aggravations. She’s unpretentious, passionate, and makes you feel like you belong. Honestly, most of the people do. As the night wears on and you shake more hands and spark more conversations, it dawns on you why these people are all together tonight. This is Javi’s circle, people who understand him and bring him joy.

Bashful happiness that you might bring him joy settles in your chest.

Javi scoops you up every few minutes, guiding you to new groups or asking you if you’ve tried something. The upscale pigs in a blanket are your personal favorite, snagging a whole tray for yourself when a waiter walks by. You’re almost embarrassed, but Javi’s crinkled smile as he tries to steal one and gets his hand slapped is worth it.

A murmuring begins by the entrance, a flocking to the door. Javi comes to your elbow, leaning on one foot and placing his warm hand on your lower back. He’s been doing it to you all night, every time you stand beside him, but it’s never less thrilling.

“What’s that all about?” you ask, your third glass of champagne fizzing delightfully under your skin. He catches someone’s eye in the crowd, gesturing them over.

“Just a good friend who came to visit.”

You almost choke on your sip of bubbles.

“Nicolas. Fucking. Cage,” you scoff to Javi under your breath as the man himself emerges out of the crowd. He’s bee-lining your way but stops to shake hands and engage in polite conversation. His emerald velvet jacket contrasts the burgundy button-up underneath nicely, but the faded Dad jeans and white tennis shoes clash adorably with the ensemble. “You could have warned me!”

“Your reaction was well worth your annoyance,” Javi placates, pressing you forward as the crowd falls back.

“How are you doing Nic? How’s the family?” Javi asks, pulling the famous actor in for a hug. They give brief updates, you standing back a step awkwardly. Debating on slipping away, Javi introduces you to Nic and pulls you back into the conversation.

“The girl on the plane,” Nic says, and if you ever thought his speaking affect was fake you’re certain now it’s genuine. He takes your hand in both of his, shaking it earnestly. “I heard your sister is a big fan. I hope she liked the message, I know it was a little rushed but, last minute on the holidays, you know…” You shake your head, fighting back your sister’s scream in the back of your mind.

“She was over the moon. Thank you again for doing that, it was very kind of you,” you say, trading a secret smirk with Javi. It’s a harmless lie, but the fact that he’s perpetuating it makes you even giddier.

“Well next time you’re at one of Javi’s parties you should bring her. I love meeting fans,” Nic says, giving you a pat on the shoulder and peeling off to get himself a drink. Javi slides back to your side, the laughter you’d been suppressing squeaking out of the corners of your mouth.

“Clara’s gonna die. I’ll have to lie to her to get her in the same room as Nic,” you sputter, leaning into Javi’s side as he puts an arm around your shoulders. Frenetic energy dissipating, you savor the solid breadth of his chest, that delicious citrus bite of his scent. He holds you there, and after a moment his cheek presses against the side of your head. He inhales, your face burning when you realize he’s smelling you. 

“That’s it, you’re a wizard or something. No one can grant as many wishes as you,” you tease, twisting to look into Javi’s face. The crows feet and wrinkles smooth as he looks at you, eyes darting from your own to your lips and back again. “Thank you,” you finally say, letting him slide his arm down to pull you into his chest.

“It is I who should be thanking you, conejita. I’ve been living a full life, a better life in recent times, but it feels that much brighter when you’re close to me.” His touch is hesitant when his fingers graze your jaw, his hold loosening on your back. It’s all broadcasting only what you want. He would chase you if you let him, though if you stepped away now he’d let you. But in those touches are the longing to be more than acquaintances. And in this room you thought you’d never belong in, you feel safe, and seen.

Over the chatter and laughter swirling past, you talk. About Javi’s life, and your own. Your work and what you love to do. His love of movies, your love of old houses and national parks. Your mutual dislike of overused CGI elements and predictable jumpscares. He strokes your back, your arm, as you speak, sometimes needing to break away to say hello or answer a question, but unfailingly coming back to you. 

As the final minutes near, you voice the question burning in the back of your mind.

“Javi, you’re so…” you gesture at this posh, gorgeous man standing beside you. “You’re so far out of my league I can’t even see you. And I know I’m a catch,” you interject, gesturing at yourself now with amusement. “I’m a snack, I’m a whole meal, I don’t deny it. But I’m more like…Applebees than Wolfgang Puck.” You wave your hands, banishing the jumble away. “I guess I just don’t understand why…me. Here. Tonight.”

Javi’s brow furrows, his mouth tightening into a pout as he casts his gaze down. Waiting is torture, needing to know if this is just a little thank-you or something more. 

“One minute!” someone shouts, the excitement in the room ratcheting up another series of degrees as everyone gathers in the center of the restaurant. Javi leads you to the middle, the throng of people parting enough to give you some space inside it. Once your feet stop, he sweeps you into another embrace, this one firmer. His eyes roam your face, searching for something before he speaks. 

“As much as I love the old movies, I do not believe in love at first sight. I believe in attraction, and common interests, and support. I believe in two people finding each other in the most unusual way and taking it as a sign. And when the universe gives you another chance and it only makes you want that person more, well…” Javi trails off, one hand coming up to curl around your head, his thumb stroking the hinge of your parted jaw. Your eyes must be hopeful because he barrels on.

“Well, I am not one to overlook lightning striking twice. And you are…you are not an…apple bee?” he asks, confusion twisting the words. You shake your head and pat his chest.

“It’s a, like, chain restaurant. Sorry, doesn’t make a lot of sense if you haven’t heard of it,” you murmur, stroking a finger along his lapel. 

“But that’s just it, because I don’t agree with that. You are so much more than I wished. I feel like…not like a puzzle, but like…two rivers meeting. Both strong on their own, but together, mingled, are in harmony.”

“Okay everyone, get ready, on ten!”

“Javi, what are you…”

“Nine!”

“I want more of this, conejita. I want more of you. If you’ll have me too.”

“Eight!”

“I…do, but I just…it…it feels so…complicated.”

“Seven!”

“We do not need all of the answers now. Just one.”

“Six!”

“Which one is that?”

“Five!”

“Will you let me kiss you tomorrow?”

“Four!”

“Three!”

“Two!”

“One!”

“Yes, Javi.”

The restaurant erupts in cheers of “Happy New Year!” as people hug and kiss and celebrate. One of the waiters pulls the crepe paper cord and balloons tumble from the ceiling, packets of foil confetti dumping and exploding over the crowd. If you were paying attention you’d laugh, reach your hands up to the ceiling and try to catch handfuls of the glittering shower, but you’re preoccupied with Javi’s gentle smile before he pulls your lips to his.

If this kiss was a precursor to how your next year would go, magical might be a good descriptor. Or explosive. Swoon-worthy maybe. But perfect might be the best. Javi’s first chaste press is followed by deeper kisses, his full lips covering your own with quiet little pants. When he pulls back enough to see your kiss-drunk face his whole demeanor lights up, lacing his fingers with yours and pulling you through the crowd.

Once tucked away on a bench in the back of the restaurant, he proceeds to kiss you with more fervor, tongue slipping against yours tentatively. He only interrupts the worshipful makeout with touches to your face like he still can’t believe you’re here. Covering his hands with your own, you tilt your head to one side.

“I feel like this is going to be a very good year.”

Javi’s sweet smile turns just a fraction devilish, and your heart flutters with it.

“Better than I could have wished for."

END

Part 3: A Gift of Light and Joy

[e-dubbc11]

The Sweetest Pain

Pt. 3

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Pregnancy symptoms, labor and delivery. Fluffy bunnies and unicorns, little bit of angst if you squint

Word Count: 3.9k-ish

Summary: After being married for just about a year, you and Billy are about to get some life changing news. You’re really nervous to tell him though, and you’re hoping he’ll be as happy as you are

A/N: So we’re jumping WAY ahead from where we left off with these two. Based off of an ask from my lovely lovely friend Lily @munsonownsmyass she was aching for some tattoo dad Billy Russo. So Lily, my love, I really hope you like this. And if you need a refresher or haven’t read the first two parts, I’ll leave them under the author’s note.

PART 1

PART 2

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

The anticipation was killing you. It was just sitting on the edge of the bathroom counter, staring at you, mocking you. “Don’t look at it yet! Wait until the timer goes off!” Finally, the timer on your phone went off but you hesitated to look at it. What was it going to say? What was HE going to say?

It’s not like you didn’t talk about kids before you got married but it wasn’t something you were expecting right now. Staring down at the test, the two blue lines were VERY clear. You’re pregnant and you’re hoping Billy will be as excited as you are.

He had been nervous but Billy couldn’t wait to ask you to marry him. He finally had everything he had ever wanted, a successful tattoo business, friends, and a woman that he adored. You understood him, you were patient with him, and you loved him with your whole heart. He wasn’t without faults though.

Billy was stubborn, moody, and had a hard time expressing himself or saying what was on his mind but you learned to navigate the inner workings of your incredibly sweet yet big pain in the ass, husband.

Your wedding was small. Billy didn’t have any family except for his chosen family…Frank, Maria and the kids and even though you had a big family, you didn’t want a big wedding. So a little over a year after you started dating, the two of you exchanged I-do’s in front of close friends and family on the beach on a beautiful warm sunny day.

And now here you were, a year after that lovely June day on the beach, staring down at the pregnancy test telling you that you were going to be a mom and Billy was going to be a dad.

The idea of being a mother brought a smile to your face but scared you at the same time and you were definitely nervous to tell Billy. You had to think of a cute way to tell him and soon.

Billy didn’t take many nights off from the shop, he was always incredibly busy so if you wanted to spend time with him, you had to go to the studio so you just started working the front desk a couple of nights a week. You’d help answer the phone, book appointments, and take deposits.

Women still threw themselves at Billy when they would come in to make an appointment, wanting to talk to him instead of you and he’d always say the same thing…”Just talk to my wife, she’ll take down all your information and book your appointment.”

Narrowing their eyes at you, they’d reluctantly give you their information and the icing on the cake is when you’d hand them their receipt that was signed y/f/n Russo. They always hated that and you knew it. Billy made sure to wink and smile at you every time…he was so in love with you and wanted everyone to know it.

It was a Sunday evening, Billy’s only real day off was Sunday so you decided that today was the day you were going to tell him you’re pregnant.

You had already had your first doctor’s appointment two weeks ago and it was just to confirm you actually were indeed pregnant. They estimated at that time you were around six weeks along.

Finding a clever way to tell your tattoo artist husband that the two of you were going to be parents was difficult until you found these temporary tattoos online.

They were used for monthly updates for pictures showing how far along you are so you emailed the online shop asking if they could make one that said “8 weeks” so you could surprise Billy with a “new tattoo.” The woman who owned the shop thought it was such a cute idea and she would be happy to do that for you.

Growing up in the system, Billy was alone. He didn’t have parents to guide him, teach him, or protect him so he didn’t have anyone he could go to with problems that he had. Being alone was the only thing he had ever known until the Marines. How would he know how to be a parent if he didn’t have them? And that scared him.

You tried to ease his fears by telling him that it’s not like you had any idea how to be a mother either. Your own mother was a terrible parent, she wasn’t someone you wanted to model your parenting skills after so you told him that the only thing you were sure about was that you didn’t want to be like her.

The two of you would do this together, learn as you go because that’s what first time parents do. After that, Billy seemed less anxious and a lot more open to the idea of having a baby someday.

You were trying to remember a time where you were more nervous and you couldn’t think of one. Even on your wedding day you weren’t this nervous.

After applying the tattoo to your stomach, you stood in the bathroom waiting for it to dry with Billy out in the living room. The nauseous feeling kept coming and going, was it nerves or the start of morning sickness?

“Just go out there and tell him.” You silently told yourself.

Walking back out into the living room, he looked up from his book and smiled that perfect smile at you.

“Hey there, beautiful. Thank you for cooking tonight, it was delicious.” He said.

You gave him a warm smile back. “You’re welcome, handsome.”

Your heart was pounding as you stared into his liquid brown eyes, trying to keep your focus on him and what you wanted to tell him.

“Sweet girl, are you ok? You look a little pale.” He said.

You tried to smile. “Yeah, baby I’m fine.” Your voice was unsteady and you took a slow deep breath. “I just—I have something to tell you. Well, more like show you.”

Billy looked slightly confused and a little concerned, like he was wondering if you were alright. A spasm of worry moved across his face.

You inched closer to him so he was almost eye level with your stomach.

“Baby, come on. What is it?”

Releasing your deep breath, you lifted your shirt slightly, exposing your stomach.

“I got a new tattoo.” You said with a slight hitch in your voice. “Do you like it?”

Billy rested his hands on your hips and carefully looked at what was printed on your belly. He narrowed his eyes and trying to figure out what it meant.

8 Weeks

Suddenly, the color drained from his face and his eyes got wide.

“A-are you…pregnant?” He asked, his voice catching in his throat.

Tears pricked your eyes, you were shaking slightly as you bit down on your bottom lip and nodded because you couldn’t get any words out.

“We’re gonna have a baby?” He asked, resting his hand against your stomach.

Your hands were still trembling as a tear streaked down your cheek. “Y-yes Billy. We’re gonna have a baby.” You said nervously.

The color had not returned to Billy’s face when he stood up and walked over to the glass doors. This made you uneasy. You never really talked about WHEN you wanted to start a family and you were terrified that he just wasn’t ready yet but you weren’t either.

He was silent as he stood at the windows, looking out at the city skyline. He ran his fingers through is dark hair, and you were still standing over by the couch, scared to move as if your legs would give out on you if you tried to go to him.

It was difficult to see with tears blurring your vision, ready to spill over and leave tracks down your cheeks. Slowly, you started to move toward him, knees shaking, with your heart beating out of your chest.

Billy was still facing the windows when you walked up behind him, but scared to touch him. Before your hands could make contact with his shoulder, you pulled back and started to walk away from him when he turned to face you and took your hand in his. His onyx colored eyes shined like two chips of glass as the early evening sun flooded in through the window.

With your eyes still swimming with tears, you were finally able to say something. “Billy…I’m so sor—“

But he didn’t let you finish before his lips seized yours, his fingers entangled in your hair as he nipped at your jaw and peppered kisses up and down your neck.

The air was ripped from your throat, tearing away your voice as Billy continued to kiss you, parting your lips with his tongue and in between kisses, telling you over and over how much he loved you.

After finding your voice again, you asked him. “You’re not mad, baby?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad, sweet girl?” He asked, wiping your tears away.

You sobbed into his chest. “You got so quiet after I told you, I thought that maybe you were upset. I know we talked about waiting a little while before having kids but h-how do you feel about it?”

Billy swiped your tears away with both thumbs and a smirk played against his lips.

“I couldn’t be happier, my love. I’m terrified…but I really couldn’t be happier.” And he leaned forward to kiss you again.

“We’re gonna be parents, Billy.” You said, looking up into his beautiful dark brown eyes.

Nervously, Billy placed his hand on your stomach. “You’ll help me, right? The first time Frankie handed Lisa to me, I had no idea how to hold her or anything, so I just gave her back after a minute.”

“Gave her back.” You chuckled and placed your hand on top of his. “We’ll help each other, baby. I don’t know what I’m doing either. I do know how to hold a baby though.” You said with a light laugh.

“I’d say that’s a good start then, sweet girl.” Said Billy as he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead and pulled you into a tight embrace.

**********

Keeping your pregnancy a secret long enough to make it through the first trimester was difficult. You wanted to tell people but decided to wait until around 12 weeks which was perfect timing because that’s around when you started to experience morning sickness. And one of those times was during a picnic at the Castle house.

“Is she ok?” Frank asked, taking a sip of his beer. “She’s been in there a long time.”

Billy tried to brush it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “Yeah, Frankie…she’s fine. She just uh, hasn’t been feeling great lately.” He said as he bit back a smile.

Frank narrowed his eyes, looked at Billy, then looked toward the house and back at Billy again.

“I noticed she’s not drinkin’ either, she didn’t drink on the 4th of July a couple weeks ago.” Frank said as you came walking out of the front door.

“You use the mouthwash, sweetheart?” Frank asked with a sly grin.

You mouth dropped open and you playfully scolded Billy. “You told him I’m pregnant, Billy?!”

Frank started to laugh, Billy smiled and shook his head back and forth.

“I didn’t, sweet girl. YOU just did though.” Billy said with a sly smile.

Everyone at the picnic offered their congratulations. All of the other artists from Billy’s tattoo shop were there, Maria, and the Castle children were all very excited for you and Billy.

“Do you guys know what you’re having yet!?” Shortcake asked excitedly.

You could feel the warmth rise to your cheeks, you really weren’t used to being the center of attention.

“Oh, we find out next month what we’re having.” You said.

Frank looked at you and Billy, trying hard to contain his smile but he couldn’t. “The only thing I’m gonna say is that Frankie works for a boy or a girl.”

**********

And at your 16 week appointment, you and Billy found out you were having a girl. So you had five months to prepare for the arrival of little baby girl Russo but you wanted to keep her name to yourselves until she was born.

Everyone kept bothering you because they wanted to know what her name was going to be but it was a secret and you swore Billy to secrecy also.

In his spare time, Billy worked hard to help you prepare the nursery. He also went out of his way to make sure you were comfortable, always asking if you needed anything, and taking care of late night cravings.

He had painted a beautiful traditional tattoo themed mural on the wall and painted her name above her crib. He stayed up all night to finally finish it. Billy knew it would be one less thing you’d have to worry about as your pregnancy progressed.

“Keep those eyes closed, baby.” Billy said.

You smiled as he held your hand and led you into the nursery. “They’re closed, Billy. What is this about?”

“Ok, open your eyes.” He told you.

Blinking your eyes open, you took everything in. The room was finished…the mural, the crib and changing table were put together. Everything looked absolutely perfect.

Your eyes were swimming with tears as you choked out. “Billy…this is—this is—“ You stopped to try and compose yourself.

A look of worry washed over him. “Oh god you hate it, don’t you.” He said.

Violently shaking your head and rushing to cup his cheeks. “No, no, no Billy! I LOVE it. This is—so beautiful.” And you pulled him close to capture his lips.

“I’m really excited to meet her.” You whispered.

Billy gently held you against his chest and whispered back. “I am too, baby.”

**********

You started to get nervous as your due date got closer. All of the first time mom nerves took a back seat to the fact that you were due to give birth in January.

It had been unseasonably cold so far this winter and there had already been a couple of significant snowfalls in December. What if you went into labor during a snowstorm? What if you couldn’t get to a hospital in time?

About five days away from your due date, Billy had moved his client to the morning so he would be home early because they were predicting a bad snowstorm. But it started to snow earlier than expected and this storm was fast moving so it dropped a decent amount of snow in a short period of time.

At the height of the storm is when you suddenly started to feel pain in your back and your lower belly.

Were you in labor? This was your first baby, you were unsure of what labor pains felt like so you just started to time them. Even after reading books on pregnancy, you still weren’t sure and started to feel anxious.

Billy was at the tattoo studio and you were home alone, in labor. Surprised at how quickly you reacted, you promptly called 911 and then called Billy.

“Hey beautiful. You enjoying the snow?” He asked.

Trying to smile in between contractions, you took a deep breath before answering him. “Uh, well…here’s the thing. I think I’m in labor, Billy.”

“Labor?! Now?!! No, no, you’re not due for five more days!” He said nervously.

You winced at the pain. “Yeah, well the low pressure must have jumpstarted my labor because the little miss wants out and she wants out NOW! These contractions are intense and getting closer together. I called the ambulance so just meet me at the hospital, ok?”

“Well I’m glad I finished that tattoo early, then. Ok, ok I’ll see you soon…I hope. I love you.” He said.

You smiled through the contraction. “I love you too, handsome.”

Inside Anvil tattoo studio

Billy hung up and called out for Frank.

“Frankie! I gotta go…y/n is in labor!” He shouted, his heart in his throat at the thought of you dealing with labor pains all by yourself.

“What?! Now?!! Ok, ok relax. My truck has four-wheel drive, let’s go!” Frank yelled. “Are we picking her up, what are we doin’?”

Billy violently shook his head. “No, no. She called the ambulance. I can’t miss this, Frankie.”

“You’re not gonna miss it but we gotta go, Bill. Now!” Frank said.

**********

You arrived at the hospital too late for an epidural. After they brought you to a holding room, they checked and you were 9 cm dilated, your labor progressed faster than you expected.

The nurse furrowed her brow. “Oh honey, you’re at 9! You’re gonna have that baby soon!” She said excitedly.

It was very overwhelming having all of those people around you, doctors and nurses trying to keep you calm while wheeling you to a delivery room. But all you wanted was your husband by your side but he wasn’t there yet and you found yourself whispering internally “Hold on, baby girl. Just hold on a little longer until your dad gets here.”

Walking into the delivery room, the doctor asked you where the father was and you had to tell her that you didn’t know and last you knew he was on his way but obviously the snow was a bit of a problem.

You had been at the hospital for about 45 minutes when they told you it was time to push. You felt your heart shatter and your eyes welled up with tears…Billy still wasn’t here yet.

You had already done one set of pushes when you heard some commotion out in the hallway and the door flew open and Billy rushed in, snowflakes still stuck in his black beanie, and out of breath.

“Did I miss it?! Am I too late?!” He said, panting.

Tears streamed down your cheeks but you managed a smile. “BILLY!”

“You didn’t miss it Dad, but she’s getting ready to push again. Come take her leg.” The doctor said.

Billy threw his jacket on the floor and rushed over to hold your leg when you started to push again. He kissed you on the forehead and apologized for being late.

“Your hands are freezing!!!” You yelled as he grabbed your leg.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He said, trying to warm up his hands before touching you again.

After three sets of pushes, she was here. Ten perfect little fingers and ten perfect little toes and everything in between, she was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.

The nurses cleaned her off, wrapped her up and placed her in your arms. One of your tears fell and landed directly on the tip of her little nose. Gazing down at her, she had the same color hair as Billy and she had your nose. She was the perfect combination of the two of you.

After a couple of feedings and a couple of naps, you felt up to having visitors but since it was snowing, the only visitors that made it were Frank and Billy’s tattoo artist friends from the studio since they were relatively close by.

You had a hard time prying the little miss away from Shortcake, she was just head over heels in love with her. And she actually pouted when she handed the baby to Frank which made you chuckle.

“Hey there, pretty girl.” Frank said in his low gruff voice which the baby seemed to like. “So do we get to know your name or are mom and dad still keeping it a secret?”

In the midst of all the chaos, both you and Billy completely forgot to tell everyone what her name was.

“Well Frank…say hello to your goddaughter, Anna. Anna Raven Russo.” You said.

With a stunned look on his face, Frank looked at you and Billy. “Raven? L-like my call sign Raven?” He asked with a hitch in his voice.

Billy looked at you then back over at Frank. “Well you did say you wouldn’t mind the baby being named after you. So…is it ok? Uncle Frankie?” Billy asked.

Frank’s eyes were bright with unshed tears and a smirk played across his face, trying to play off at how touched he was. He looked down at little Anna and back to you and Billy.

“Ok? It’s—it’s more than ok.” He said. “I really have a goddaughter?”

“Yes Frank, you really have a goddaughter.” You said.

Nothing like a tiny baby to reduce a rough and tough marine to a big ball of mush.

“I’m gonna spoil her rotten, you know that right? She’s gonna come with us to the zoo, she’s gonna learn how to work on cars, and I’m gonna give her all the candy she wants.” Said Frank.

Everyone laughed as Anna started to stir. She let out a tiny cry which apparently was a sign that everyone should leave.

Frank handed her back to Billy but not before placing a gentle kiss on her little forehead and they all said their goodbyes. The nurse mentioned that it might be a good idea for you to try and get some sleep.

When everyone left, the three of you were alone together for the first time since she was born. Billy leaned in to give you a kiss and kissed Anna on her forehead.

“Am I doin’ this right, baby?” He asked.

You just smiled at him. “You’re a natural, my love.”

Billy smiled his perfect smile back at you as he held Anna in his arms.

“Why don’t you try and get some sleep, sweet girl. I’ll hold her until she wakes up.” He said as he leaned forward to give you another gentle kiss on the lips. “But before you do, I just need to tell you…” he paused. “That nothing in my life has been easy except loving you…and now loving the little miss, here.”

Your vision became blurry with tears, his handsome features were hard to make out until the tears fell and you kissed him back.

“I love you too, Billy…WE love you.” You said looking down at Anna and back up to meet Billy’s gaze.

“Looks like I have another tattoo to get.” Billy said. “You think Andy will be able to tattoo Anna’s name on me, or is that asking too much?” He laughed.

Pondering that thought, you responded. “Hmmmm…I dunno, you sure you wanna risk him not spelling it right?”

The two of you exchanged laughs.

The image of Billy sitting on the couch, smiling and whispering to Anna was the last thing you saw before drifting off to sleep. Quickly, you snapped a picture before your tired eyelids finally gave in, everything went dark, and you went on to have the shortest but best nap of your life.

Up until the birth of your daughter, you thought the sweetest pain was being tattooed. The pain was temporary but the end result was a beautiful permanent work of art. However, there was definitely another kind of sweet pain and that beautiful work of art was fast asleep in her father’s arms.

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.

[highpriestess13]

If you would like to book a reading with me, here’s the link ⬇️. If you’re unable to purchase from my website due to finances, you can message me and we can work out a plan. Please do keep in mind that these messages are for the collective, with that being said, not every message is going to resonate with you, if you’re feeling lost/ confused with a reading then more than likely the message/ reading isn’t for you & that’s alright! Take things with a grain of sugar! 😊

Message from La Santisima Muerte 💀

Our beautiful mother of holy death has a message for her children whether you’re a devotee to her or not. You could be hearing and seeing the words “mother of Earth” lately a lot or Mother Gaia. It’s giving me Empress energy, many of you, male or female, are actively standing in your power, you’re about to birth beauty and love into your world. Some of you could actually be pregnant (don’t have to be) but it is also giving Queen of pentacles energy. Many of you are entering a world of abundance you’re about birth so much in your life but you’re also being given the opportunity to walk away from a present conflict that you’re dealing with at this time. All of the hard work you put into yourself and the world around you, you’re about to be blessed with so much more than what you’ve been giving. Knowledge is power, right now is the perfect time for you to expand yourself in ways like never before. You already have what you’re looking, the key and knowledge is within you and not only that, it’s time to start applying all of the lessons that you’ve learned in your recent past, you’re a highly intuitive being and it’s time for the real you to emerge. Pink, butterflies, pink flowers, deer/stag and stars are you confirmation. La Santa Muerte, is wanting for you to thrive, she knows that you’re more than capable trust in whatever may be happening around you as it is happening for you not to you. It’s time to make space for new and this is going to require that extra little step from. I see you’re facing a lot of obstacles, challenges and conflicting situations right now especially externally. If the outside world is too much to take, you’re required to go within, if they’re people who are making you feel this way, you’re needing to sit aside, go within. Some of you could be needing or wanting a space or this is what you’re currently seeking. It’s okay if you’re wanting to be alone and away from the world especially if it’s going to help with your mental health. I feel like she’s beside you, giving you that push that you’re needing to keep going, to never give up and most importantly for you to follow your desires. The solar plexus is significant. Don’t allow external validation to corrupt you either, if someone is negative… whether it’s how they think, what they say, etc. you’re needing to protect yourself and your energy. You’re the only one who knows what’s best for you so don’t outsiders tell you what’s good for you and YOU should or shouldn’t do, they lived their lives already and now it’s time to live yours. I’m hearing “you’re living proof”. Odd numbers could be significant too. Odd numbers, according to Google, is a sign of good fortune, I’m hearing “lucky numbers” you could be seeing synchronicities of odd numbers like 13 and this is your confirmation that good luck is on your side and that you’re needing to trust it. You’re going to be enlightened with some sort of truth/knowledge as well. Someone could be sending you the evil eye too… you’re needing to protect yourself or find ways that’ll help you to do it but I also feel like she’s protecting you as well, the number 5 is significant or something about a 5 pointed star… a pentagram. You could be seeing pentagrams a lot and do keep in mind that pentagrams are also used for protection so you could be wearing a necklace or you’re needing to get one. But the pentagram is your confirmation that your abundance is protected and safe and so are you. It’s time to take the lead and take charge with authority, a lot of you are coming into balance with your divine feminine and masculine energy! The color green and red apples are your confirmation as well. You’re about to take lead in some aspect of your life, you’re no longing sitting in the back, you’re being placed in the front! Some of you are teachers or are being called to become a spiritual teacher to others… like how Jesus was a teacher. Take care of your own needs, don’t worry about other people especially if these people don’t have the best intentions for you. Star anise is very significant.

[goon-writes-her-thoughts]

Wasted Potential & Self-Indugent Sadness Part 1

Google Doc from December 2022

In adulthood, we often find ourselves staying in a rut of what we know we’re good at. By the time you’re solidly in your 20s and the last glisten of hope has dulled from your eyes, you forget you’re capable of doing anything else. As for me, I’ve gone from retail job to retail job. The building might change but it’s all the same. I’ve known for a while that I’m good with people and that I can convince them to buy anything if I use my words right. Upon starting at this new mall, I noticed that hasn’t changed.

Long gone are my dreams of following in my father’s footsteps. A few broken ribs shattered my dreams of fixing air planes in the Forces. After that, I went through a depressive haze for a year and a half, never certain of what day it was or where my next pack of smokes was coming from. In the time between my dreams of joining the Forces becoming fleeting memories and the onslaught of Covid-19 and it’s variants, I got myself out of the haze enough to get cuffed and medicated for bipolar. From there, things started to look up but not in the way they were when I was to join the forces.

Since the depressing revelation that I’d never be fixing airplanes, I’ve been bouncing around from customer service gig to customer service gig. Some I’ve loved, others I’ve hated but mostly those I’ve just been neutral towards, allowing myself to trick myself into feeling satisfied by hearing my manager telling me I’m a good doobie. I find myself starting a new job every half year or so when I learn all there is to know about one and get bored with it. In customer service, every day is more or less the same. Put on a friendly face, fill some baskets with stuff no one needs and herd them out like cattle in a little under 5 minutes. 

Whenever I start a new gig, my monkey brain deludes myself into thinking it will be different. I won’t be just another bloodsucking shill here, no, no, certainly not.  Surely I’ll be getting customers to buy what they secretly desire. Bullshit; any job where I sell things will be the same. It’s simple irony that I’m a decent sales woman. I’m a character in the spending addiction of the masses, propped up in a store like the leech I really am. Getting people to sign up for a rewards account, like I don’t know the corporation will be sending them alluring emails and texts about sales, as though they’re Eve conversing with the serpent. I am a serpent, hell bent on taking advantage of Eves. 

Yes, I’ve resigned myself to this life. Convincing people that their credit card debt is worth it for what I’m selling while I desperately try to pay back what I owe to my own creditors. Sales is for suckers on either side of the counter. With company discounts and free product, the employees are built into the profit model just as well as the customers. I’ve resigned myself to a life of getting berated over a few measly cents, a life of telling people they look good to make a quick sale, and standing on concrete floors for hours and hours while I make money for the CEO.

You see, once you get sucked into a comfort zone, you’re blinded. You’re in your own little rut, rotting away, incapable of the self reflection to be disappointed in yourself. I had dreams before I entered the bleak and dull workforce, I’ve been over this, but it’s devastating enough to repeat this notion. It isn’t until you’re reminded of those dreams that they surface in your mind, but even then, the thoughts are different. No longer are your dreams attainable if you work hard. No longer are they something you aim to work towards.

The emotions towards these dreams now are bitter and laced with remorse. God forbid I see someone my age in the Forces or someone I knew in passing in law school.  The bitter and angry jealousy that thinly disguises my disappointment and dissatisfaction in myself haunts me for days at a time. Hearing of a celebrity my age publishing a book might as well be a one way ticket into a manic episode. The whole thing just reminds me of my once bright future, the potential that everyone saw in me. 

Even now, I’ve perused journalism programs. One last way I can follow in my father’s footsteps I guess, though largely motivated by reading Thompson. I’d love to dip my toes into that world and see what’s there. Id love to experience the rush of the scrum on Parliament Hill or be in some VIP’s entourage or even just be minor coverage at the Grey Cup. I did the freelance thing for a while, though it was copywriting for sketchy-at-best clientele. I enjoyed it well enough, but I was hardly thrilled with the shilling. It’s not journalism if you’re specifically instructed to be so biased that you only include links that sell some sort of gizmo. Naturally, even when I found a job writing, doing something I love, I was still in sales, still shilling, and still wasting that potential my family loves to remind me I once had.

I stopped copywriting soon after I started. I’d realized quite suddenly that the only way to make a living at it was to write drivel regarding the life changing effects of boner pills and reviews for products I’d never seen in my life. I don’t have much pride at all, but my Google search history isn’t something I’m willing to sacrifice for a measly 15 bucks. Besides that, I found a couple of other issues with the lifestyle of working from home. The key thing was that I was getting cabin fever, in my pyjamas day in and day out, only leaving the abode for groceries.

The other big issue was that I had no desire to shill. My work could have just as easily come from an artificial intelligence, scouring through the same information I used just in a faster, less dyslexic manner. There was no emotion, no grip and most certainly no personal experience. It was hardly even puff pieces, it was just tripe written in a caffeine-induced haze making little to no sense for clickbait articles about off-brand viagra.

[skia-oura]

Disclaimer: These are all good resources for people who can speak English; unfortunately, I don’t know of any alternatives for other language speakers.

Another couple resources for learning vocabulary and practicing reading: For flashcards / vocab drilling, I know a lot of people use these: Anki - It’s not just for Japanese, but there are premade decks you can use for your studying purposes, for example if you’re studying for the JLPT. I never got into it, but it seems to be free.

Wanikani - This is specifically for learning kanji. It’s free for the first couple levels, but after that you have to pay a subscription. That being said, Wanikani does do an annual lifetime sale around New Years--it’s a chunk of money, but you never have to pay them again. If you’re absolutely sure you want to use it to study kanji, go for it. Again, this isn’t the one I use.

Houhou - This is the one I use! I use it because it’s free and because I have control over what vocabulary I learn. I typically pull things from materials I actually read and input them into my vocabulary stack. Unfortunately, because I haven’t touched my reviews in a while (i am busy and tired and maybe a little lazy) they’ve piled up to the 300s. However, you can alter what level you think a word is at to either give yourself a break or to review something you got out of sheer dumb luck.

For reading:

The Japanese Foundation’s Libby Digital Media Service - You can sign up to read Japanese material and language learning materials for free. That being said, I did try to sign up and never got a response; it may be because I currently don’t live in the USA/Canada and so my IP address pinged as outside of their service, so keep that in mind.

If you have a VPN, you can access serialized manga online--usually for a fee. They might have the first couple chapters up for free, but after that it’s a pay-to-read service. Sometimes they do special events and have chapters unlocked for a limited amount of time (I may have stayed up several hours to read, at that time, the latest Witch Hat chapters lol), so keep an eye out for those either on those sites or social media!

Other:

I recommend also CHECKING YOUR JAPANESE CONSULATE / EMBASSY WEBSITES. This is for everywhere with a consulate / embassy. Their job is to promote their language and culture in your country; they may have more resources available!

(there’s another similar resource that I’ve unfortunately forgotten and don’t currently have a link for D:)

I totally recommend Takoboto; I make lists for whatever I’m reading, and it’s free to use though you can subscribe to get access to things like review games.

ALSO: while you can look up kanji by searching for radicals, the cheat that I use is downloading the google keyboard (android phone here) and having one of my many keyboards being a drawing keyboard set to Japanese. It’s very generous, so your penmanship can be a mess and it’ll still usually figure out what you’re trying to write. It also has the positive side effect of minor muscle training, especially if you keep forgetting the same word over and over lol.

My last advice would be this: it takes time and effort and isn’t necessarily fun, but if you’re reading something in Japanese--write it down! I was reading one of the short stories out of the Ancient Magus Bride anthology (The Golden Yarn, which is apparently available in English!), and I wrote down every single sentence in an attempt at study / translation. I now know another kanji for leg by heart--not the general and common 足, but the more specific 脚.

it's poor form to air your petty grievances with someone when it comes out they did something actually bad. save that for companies, like when you learn duolingo removed kanji from its beginner's japanese courses as part of their collab with crunchy roll

[aakashfertilitycentre]

A Step-By-Step Look at the IVF Process

Predicting Announcements

Prepare yourself before the announcement. Predict who you will hear next.

Which of your friends recently got married? Has your sister talked about starting a new family? Have you noticed that your former college roommate has recently given up wine and sushi? You can prepare your response in advance so that you are not caught off guard. You can let them know what to expect when you share the news. For example, “Hey sis! I know you’re trying to get pregnant.” When I do act weird, this is why …”

Take social media breaks

Social media has become a giant scrolling news feed, a strange mix of cat videos, international stories and friends’ updates. These updates often include baby announcements.

Sign off if you’re tired of seeing an ultrasound photo every day. Take a break from Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. It doesn’t need to be for a long time.

The people who are closest to you may also share these news with a telephone call.

Vent anywhere

Did you just barely make it to your cousin’s shower? You’ve heard from your neighbors that they are expecting a baby?

Online support group like Resolve can be a great place to vent your frustrations. You can still maintain your anonymity because they are online.

Tell the group how you feel right now and learn from the reactions, experiences and coping mechanisms of others. You can both educate and help one another.

Don’t be scared to join the group if some members want to meet in person. You can also confide in a friend who has struggled with infertility. She will most likely have honest and unique insight to help guide you.

Facebook offers private groups that might be a good fit for your needs. Even if your situation isn’t something you want to share, scroll through your feed to see if others are experiencing the same issues as you.

Write it down

Writing in a diary can help you process feelings without worrying about judgement from others. It’s an unidirectional conversation that can lead to self-realizations. It can also help you to release all the emotions you carry with you.

You may have tried journaling in different stages of your life with varying degrees success. This time, find a system that you like. Stick with it. Blank page or screen is the only place where you can express your true feelings without worrying about how they will be received.

You can always keep a Word or Google Drive document open on your computer so that you can easily access it when you feel the urge. You could also carry around a small notebook and jot down your thoughts whenever there is a moment of free time.

Take it to the mat

Exercise can help you release frustration and improve your health. According to the American Psychological Association, your mood should improve within five minutes after moderate exercise.

Researchers also hypothesize regular exercise can help your body adjust to stressful situations, which often include similar physiological responses such as sweating and an increased heart rate.

Next time someone tells that they are pregnant, your body might know better than to put you into fight-or flight mode. You can give the congratulations your logical brain knows you want to.

Remember that you will melt the moment you see that new baby.

[translationwala]

English to Punjabi Translation for Travel – How to Make the Most of Your Trip

English to Punjabi translation: It is important to know a few simple Punjabi words if you want to get the most out of your trip to Punjab, India. Over 100 million people speak Punjabi as their first language, and it’s the most common language in the Indian state of Punjab.

Important Punjabi Phrases for Tourists

These important Punjabi words will help you get around and talk to people there while you’re traveling:

Sat Sri Akal (Hello) Kisey hāl aa? (How are you?) Main theek aa (I’m fine) Tusi kive ho? (How are you?) Main Punjabi nahin bol sakda/sakdi (I can’t speak Punjabi) Kya mai ap se Punjabi mein baat kar sakda/sakdi aa? (Can I speak to you in Punjabi?) Dhan’yavād (Thank you) Ji aahaan (Yes) Ji nahin (No) Mennu samjhiya nahi (I don’t understand) Kiran dasso (Please tell me) Kittna hai? (How much is it?) Kidaan jaana hai? (How do I get to?) Khana theek aa (The food is good) Bohot acha! (Very good!)

English to Punjabi Translation for Travel

When you go to Punjab, it’s good to know a few simple words in Punjabi and to be able to use services that translate from English to Punjabi. This can be very useful for reading choices and signs and talking to people in the area who don’t speak English.

You can use translation services from English to Punjabi in a number of ways. Using a translation app on your phone is one choice. There are many translating apps, some of which are free and some of which cost money. Google Translate, Microsoft Translator, and iTranslate are all well-known translation apps.

You could also use a service that does translations. There are many services that can translate words and phrases, such as Bing Translate, Reverso, and Linguee. You can translate text, papers, and even whole pages on these sites.

Last but not least, you can hire a professional translation from English to Punjabi. This choice costs the most, but it’s also the most exact and trustworthy. Professional translators can help you with business translation, medical translation, and law translation, among other things.

How to Make the Most of Your Trip to Punjab

Here are a few tips for making the most of your trip to Punjab:

Learn a few basic Punjabi phrases. People in the area will see that you’re trying to talk to them in their own language.

Use English to Punjabi translation services when needed. This will help you talk to people in the area who don’t speak English even though you don’t speak their language.

Be respectful of Punjabi culture and customs. Punjab is a very different state with a lot of history and culture. Make sure you dress properly and follow the rules of the area.

Be patient. It might take a while to get used to a new language and society. Be kind and patient with people from the area.

Things to Do in Punjab

Punjab is a beautiful state with a lot to offer visitors. Here are a few of the top things to do in Punjab:

Visit the Golden Temple: The most important Sikh temple in the world is the Golden Temple. Anybody who comes to Punjab should see it. It’s in the city of Amritsar.

See the Wagah Border Ceremony: From morning to night, every day, the Wagah Border Ceremony takes place at the border between India and Pakistan. The event is bright and enthusiastic, and it will be remembered for a long time.

Visit the Anandpur Sahib: It is one of the most important gurdwaras (places of prayer) for Sikhs in the whole world. This is a very important place for Sikhs to visit. It’s in the city of Anandpur Sahib.

Explore the city of Chandigarh: It is the capital of both Punjab and Haryana. The city is new, and its shape and buildings are well thought out.

Visit the Patiala: Patiala is an old city with a lot of culture history. There are many castles, forts, and parks there.

Conclusion

Punjab is a lovely state that has lots to offer tourists. You can get the most out of your trip and see the best that Punjab has to offer if you learn a few simple Punjabi words and use services that English to Punjabi translation.

Source: https://translationwala.wordpress.com/2023/12/07/english-to-punjabi-translation-for-travel-how-to-make-the-most-of-your-trip/

[captainmdhridoyhossain-blog]

[ad_1] Pogo-sticking is an search engine marketing time period used to explain a scenario the place a searcher briefly navigates from side to side between pages in seek effects.It’s a scenario dreaded by way of some SEOs. They consider this consumer habits is tracked by way of Google and leads to web sites being penalized.However is Google if truth be told penalizing pogo-sticking? And will have to you in reality fear about it? On this article, you’ll be informed the next:Pogo-sticking vs. soar priceFirst, let’s make issues somewhat clearer and draw the road between pogo-sticking and soar price, as other folks ceaselessly get them perplexed:Pogo-sticking, as outlined within the intro, is when a consumer enters a web page from a SERP (seek engine effects web page) and briefly leaves it to return to the SERP.Soar price is when a consumer enters a web page from any supply and doesn’t carry out any motion on it (e.g., clicking a hyperlink, filling a sort, or striking an merchandise in a cart). So if any person opens this newsletter, reads it totally, and doesn’t do the rest prior to leaving—that counts as a soar. Beneficial studying: What Is Soar Fee? Learn how to Interpret and Paintings With ItWhat reasons pogo-sticking?There are lots of imaginable reasons of pogo-sticking. Do word that no longer they all are brought about by way of deficient content material or unhealthy UX (consumer enjoy).Clickbait content materialOn this situation, a searcher enters a web page that overpromises and underdelivers. In different phrases, the searcher comes throughout clickbait content material.We’ve all noticed such content material on the internet, and all of us immediately feel sorry about clicking on them: “You’ll By no means Consider This (…),” “Do This One Factor for six Weeks and (…),” “They Don’t Need You to Know This (…),” and so forth. And once we do, we really feel tricked, so we “pogo” again to the SERP.As an example, let’s think you wish to have to test what the web has to mention concerning the opinion that search engine marketing is useless. You come back throughout one thing like this:OK, let’s be informed concerning the “new search engine marketing” then.So search engine marketing appears to be useless. This feels like giant information. And as a substitute of a 10-step path on “previous search engine marketing,” this web page provides a five-step path on “new search engine marketing.” However on your marvel, you find that “previous search engine marketing” isn't that useless after all.That’s clickbait—you’d need to depart once imaginable and not come again.Buried or locked dataIn different phrases, the searcher can’t to find what they're on the lookout for even if the guidelines would possibly if truth be told be there. The issue is the guidelines is buried beneath heaps of textual content, obscured by way of complicated language, or unavailable to a couple customers.Right here’s an instance. This screenshot comes from a webpage that was once probably the most best effects for “turbocharger failure signs.” We’ve were given a wall of textual content of most certainly legitimate data. However there’s no point out of the indications.Neatly, the indications we need to see are if truth be told there however means decrease at the web page. Ahead of you'll get to the indications, you're anticipated to examine how a turbo works and a listing of reasons of a turbo breakdown. Since there's no fast option to the question, the searcher merely is going again to the SERP to take a look at every other web page.A equivalent factor occurs when the content material is best to be had to signed-up customers or put in the back of an “electronic mail wall.” The website online is also excellent and be offering the guidelines the searcher wishes. However because it’s no longer straight away to be had, the searcher returns to the SERP.Deficient UXOn this situation, the searcher will get straight away pissed off (or suspicious) by way of how the web page appears to be like and works, so that they go back to the security of the SERP.

Let’s see an instance. Right here, no longer best does the website online load slowly, however we additionally get a lovely irritating interstitial pop-up.Deficient UX can also be brought about by way of quite a lot of issues:Gradual web page velocityStressful commercialsPushy sign-up bureaucracy that duvet the content materialComplicated website online formatSite no longer optimized for cellular unitsThe searcher is solely surfing roundPogo-sticking may additionally occur when the searcher is just surfing round; they won't intend to stick lengthy on one explicit web page. They may well be on the lookout for some inspiration, evaluating costs, or looking to recall a web page they noticed the opposite day.It's irrational to penalize those websites simply for the reason that searcher was once briefly taking a look round for one thing that might catch their consideration.Different causesTo additional illustrate the complexity of eventualities that can result in pogo-sticking, let’s imagine this case. Let’s say any person informed you that you'll put WD40 on automotive door seals in iciness to stop them from freezing. Logically, you’ll need to test that data. So that you Google it.So… which website online provides the most efficient recommendation right here?Simply by studying the descriptions beneath the blue hyperlinks, you'll see the searcher will get other solutions. This may occasionally “cause” pogo-sticking however for various causes. And now and again, which may be roughly Google’s fault.If the searcher clicks the primary consequence, they’ll most certainly soar again fairly rapid as a result of that web page is set frozen automotive locks and no longer seals. They are going to come again to the SERP, however that no doubt isn’t the content material’s fault.How about consequence #4? It says that you'll use WD40 to stop seals from freezing. Then again, you shouldn’t do it too ceaselessly. After seeing this, the searcher would possibly come again to the SERP and check out any other consequence to make sure that data. Once more, that is pogo-sticking, however penalizing anyone right here is arbitrary.And if the searcher clicks #6 first? Perhaps that’s as a result of they first learn the snippet in consequence #5. In the event that they get to quantity #6, they’ll get the solution fairly rapid. Don’t put WD40 on automotive door seals (which is most certainly the right kind solution right here). Then, they will go back to the SERP to seek out any other web page with this sort of data to double-check, or they will carry out a brand new seek.Is pogo-sticking a score issue?Now for the large query: Is pogo-sticking a score issue? Tl;dr: Pogo-sticking is sort of surely no longer a score issue. A couple of years again, John Mueller showed that in a Google Webmaster Central hangout, pronouncing:We strive to not use indicators like that in terms of seek. In order that’s one thing the place there are many explanation why customers may pass from side to side, or take a look at various things within the seek effects, or keep simply in brief on a web page and transfer again once more. I believe that’s in reality laborious to refine and say ‘neatly, shall we flip this right into a score issue.’So I might no longer fear about such things as that. After we take a look at our algorithms total, once we evaluate which set of rules adjustments that we need to release, we do glance into how customers react to those adjustments. However that’s one thing we take a look at throughout thousands and thousands of various queries, and thousands and thousands of various pages, and roughly see typically is that this set of rules going the proper means or is that this set of rules moving into the proper means.However for particular person pages, I don’t suppose that’s one thing value that specialize in at all.Must you fear about pogo-sticking?From an search engine marketing viewpoint: no longer essentially. Since there can also be many explanation why searchers

would possibly leap between websites, Google nearly surely doesn’t deal with pogo-sticking as a score issue. So don’t fear about it particularly.From a industry viewpoint: It can be one thing to appear into. Score components or no longer, you almost certainly need your readers to stay round longer than a couple of seconds and interact with what you be offering.Learn how to make content material extra attractiveListed below are a couple of pointers that assist you to assist your readers.Repair web page UX. Additionally on cellularNow not each website online has to take part in design contests. If you wish to give you the very best enjoy for the reader, simply stay issues easy with minimal distraction. The whole thing that isn't the content material the searcher is on the lookout for will have to make stronger the studying enjoy. In apply, this implies it will have to keep out of the means.An instantaneous solution to strengthen your web page’s UX is to mend the UI (consumer interface). Listed below are some concepts:Do away with pop-ups – Those come with sign-up bureaucracy, go out bureaucracy, and so forth. Do the similar for any banners that shift the format.Be sure that your website online’s format is apparent, constant, and usable – That is very true on your website online’s navigation. Having a fantastically designed web page is excellent. However it’s extra essential to not overload the consumer’s cognitive capability with parts that don’t serve any sensible function.Optimize your website online for cellular units – Site site visitors coming from cellular units accounts for somewhat greater than 50%. On best of that, Google indexes and ranks content material in line with cellular variations of the internet sites (mobile-first indexing).Stay your web page rapidClearly, no person loves to watch for a web page to load. However extra importantly, some other folks will simply depart if loading takes too lengthy or in case your web page is gradual typically. Some other folks will most probably keep away from gradual pages if there are competition that offer content material sooner. And on this festival, each 2d issues.Additionally, if you wish to have your content material to rank top in SERPs, you want to supply customers content material as rapid as imaginable. That’s as a result of one among Google’s score components is web page velocity.You'll be able to verify the loading time for any webpage the use of services and products like PageSpeed Insights.For checking a couple of webpages at scale (even for third-party web sites), you'll use Ahrefs’ Web page Audit. Except for appearing metrics like Time to First Byte, it additionally helps Core Internet Vitals (thru Google’s PageSpeed Insights API).The numbers in blue point out the pages that fall into the types proven within the reviews. Clicking the ones numbers will direct you to a file appearing the ones pages with further information.Use the inverted pyramid wayThe inverted pyramid is a attempted and examined journalistic way that places the “want to know” prior to the “great to understand.” Following this rule will assist your readers to find data sooner. It's going to surely assist the website online about turbocharger failure signs, which we mentioned previous.As an example, for those who’re concentrated on a key phrase the place searchers are basically on the lookout for a definition, you’ll most certainly need to lead with that.That’s what we did for our article on seek visibility. It is because it's transparent from the SERP that almost all searchers need a definition:Use transparent formatting and visible partsNo person likes a wall of textual content, particularly on-line the place most of the people skim content material. Use those very best practices to make your content material more straightforward to digest:Stay inside 85 characters in step with lineProhibit paragraphs to 3 to 4 sentencesUse lists and bullet issues to get a divorce blocks of textual contentUse a

legible fontUse a font colour that contrasts with the backgroundYou will have to additionally imagine the use of visible parts to get a divorce textual content the place related, particularly in instructional content material. Actually, one learn about discovered that individuals following instructions with textual content and illustrations do 323% higher than other folks following instructions with out illustrations.As an example: Which model of the under article is much more likely to get the reader’s consideration? The only with the graph or the only with out?Beneath is any other nice instance of how you can captivate the reader’s consideration with visuals whilst making the content material simple to skim and comprehend. Realize how the type of this newsletter follows its serve as: telling the variation between the flu and COVID-19.Use related interior hyperlinksSome seek queries are supposed to remedy a unmarried drawback rapid. Others are the start of a studying adventure a few complicated subject. And in most cases, one unmarried piece of content material can’t perhaps duvet this kind of subject. For a lot of these queries, you'll create a complete collection of content material and interlink it to lead the consumer in the proper route.As an example, this information on search engine marketing for startups is over 4,500 phrases lengthy. However even if it is a moderately long content material layout, we will’t perhaps give an explanation for the entirety there's to understand concerning the subject. Then again, we will hyperlink to articles that give an explanation for positive issues of search engine marketing intimately, reminiscent of key phrase analysis or technical search engine marketing.You'll be able to automate the method of discovering interior linking alternatives to a big extent at no cost the use of Ahrefs Webmaster Equipment. Simply join, move slowly your web page with Web page Audit, and pass to the Inside hyperlink alternatives file. This will likely display you related interior linking alternatives throughout your web page.As an example, you'll see within the screenshot under there’s a chance to hyperlink the phrases “key phrase analysis” in our submit about the most efficient rank trackers to our submit on loose key phrase analysis equipment.Display E‑A-TE‑A‑T stands for experience, authoritativeness, and trustworthiness. It comes from Google’s Seek High quality Rater Tips, a file utilized by human high quality raters to evaluate the standard of Google’s seek effects.E‑A-T is an idea from the search engine marketing global. However demonstrating experience, authoritativeness, and trustworthiness is at all times a good suggestion in terms of content material. It’s a sign to the consumer that your content material is value studying (or looking at). It’s much more essential in case your content material revolves round YMYL (Your Cash or Your Existence) subjects, reminiscent of cash, well being, and protection.However what does it imply to display E‑A-T precisely?Experience method having a top degree of data or talent in a specific box. In different phrases, it refers to content material created by way of an issue knowledgeable. If you wish to display that, have professionals create your content material. You'll be able to rent them or settle for visitor posts from individuals who know their stuff.Authoritativeness is set recognition, in particular amongst different professionals and influencers within the business. There’s no wrong way to do that than to turn your credentials. Suppose skilled enjoy, instructional credentials, talking at well known meetings, and so forth.Trustworthiness is concerning the legitimacy, transparency, and accuracy of the website online and its content material. Merely put, you will have to verify your information and stay your content material as much as date.As an example my level, which of those pages is a greater supply of data for the question, “What to do when your abdomen

hurts?” The highest one or the only under?There are a couple of extra issues you'll do to display E‑A-T which might be extra about search engine marketing than excellent content material introduction practices. If you wish to be informed extra, take a look at our article on E‑A-T and why it’s essential for search engine marketing.         Stay content material as much as dateFreshness is extra essential for some queries than others. In spite of everything, who needs 2011’s very best headphones when they may be able to have this yr’s very best?A snapshot of the question “very best headphones.” Word the yr in lots of the titles.Updating your content material annually (or extra ceaselessly) to serve recent content material is a good suggestion if that’s what your readers be expecting. This tactic is one thing that you'll repeat every yr, identical to what Virtual Traits mag does:Virtual Traits has often up to date the headphones score annually since 2016.At Ahrefs, we replace content material often too. Simply take a look at the natural site visitors spikes when we many times refreshed one among our weblog posts:Ultimate ideasDon’t fear about pogo-sticking for search engine marketing causes. In line with John, the so-called pogo-sticking isn't a score issue. His remark makes overall sense while you imagine the imaginable causes for searchers to leap from side to side between SERPs and internet sites.Should you in reality need your customers to stay round longer for your website online, take a look at probably the most pointers indexed above to make your content material extra attractive. A few of the ones pointers can even permit you to rank upper within the SERPs.Were given questions? Ping me on Twitter. [ad_2] #PogoSticking #search engine marketing

[lemonlurkrr]

@aureateart​ ok. My favourite parts of twilight princess  (and some other random thoughts about TP sprinkled in there) taken from my monster TP word vomit google doc :

Link lmao

Ok but for real, I like this incarnation of Link :)

I love Ordon (it just seems like such a chill and cozy village)

ALSO love how easy it is to interpret Link as being a sort of older brother figure to the Ordon kiddos. It’s just,, super cute? AND GHHH nice nice good thanks nintendo for giving me characters to care about/characters that I can imagine Link caring about

He didn’t sign up for any of this (tbh, none of the Links really signed up for this jshdjsd). But I mean like, dude was just going to take a trip to castle town, drop a gift off for the royal family, and come back. But haHA oopsies he did get to castle town eventually but definitely not the way he expected hsjdhsd

He’s just a little dude?

AND FUCK. HE REALLY HAD NEVER BEEN OUTSIDE OF ORDON UNTIL ALL OF THAT

everything is new for the player AND Link

Midna

She’s cool :)

she really just

*teleports into your jail cell* hello whore.

I am no master at writing but AYYYY she do got a character arc!!!

She was actually pretty helpful sometimes, I ALWAYS checked in with her before turning to a game guide

Other NPCs

NICE

Love all of the TP character designs (ASHEI’S ARMOUR??? AOWOAOAOOAO)

Saving Zelda and all of Hyrule was important yea but thinking back maybe it was more like, the Ordonians and the kids were what was pushing Link to keep on going

I like the Resistance members :) Very video gamey of them to have one NPC assigned to each dungeon but hey!!! Kinda cool getting to see a little glimpse of each of em

Idk, it’s just fun to imagine Link popping into Telma’s bar after each dungeon and taking a little rest :) (or to celebrate? maybe just chat, idk, give this man some downtime!!)

Honestly it was just kind of nice that Link wasn’t entirely alone. I mean, I know Midna was there the whole time, but I am always for giving Link a big group of friends (see my love for hyrule warriors, age of calamity, and LU LMAO)

Hero’s shade, very very cool, kinda sad he died with regrets but HEY. He got to pass on his knowledge eventually

AND the connection to OoT?? AND assumed to be related by blood too????? GOOD SHIT

Ilia, I REALLY really wanted to like her (er, it’s not like I dislike her, she’s just,,, kinda there for me).

It definitely seems like Nintendo was pushing to make her the romantic interest, but GHHHHH they really threw that out of the window for me by having her lose her memories

I saw a text post a while ago that said it would have been interesting if Ilia was Link’s sister instead and YES!! That would have been cool too :0

Wish we got to know Zelda a little more

I feel like we barely know anything about her

Idk man, like I said earlier, I never really had any sort of drive to save Zelda during my playthroughs

She obviously knows Midna, so maybe if they gave us just a little bit more of that relationship I’d be more interested in her?

TP WORLD BUILDINGGGG

Botw has good world building too, but each race felt kinda,,, isolated? I absolutely love the different architecture and vibe each town has (and all the the weapons too) but ghhh yea everyone felt so separated. As far as I can remember, we don’t see tooo much of the races interacting with each other? Now that I’m typing that out maybe that’s to be expected because of the calamity but KLSJDKJFD ANYWAYS THIS IS ABOUT TP

The world feels nice and alive, love how populated everything is

Castle town I like castle town a lot, it feels dense and busy and I really like how you can’t talk to every NPC you see

Very cool very fun that we got to see the Gorons hanging out in multiple spots

kinda wish we got to see the Zoras a little more (I guess they are a bit limited since they need water but GHHHH the tp zoras are so prebby,,)

BUT HEY, I do remember seeing a zora or two hanging out in the hot springs around death mountain after beating the lakebed temple (I think, might have been a different dungeon) 

but aaaa would have been nice to see them in at least a couple of other places. I think it would have really added to the “congrats Link!! You’re restoring peace to Hyrule” feeling you get from seeing the Gorons hanging out in Kakariko and Castle Town

ORDON

Love how chill it is and how it’s kind of separate from Hyrule proper

They really do seem to be doing their own thing apart from the rest of Hyrule

Just kinda adds onto the “he’s just a regular dude minding his own business” kind of vibes I get from TP Link

Also I like Ordona :)

THE LIGHT SPIRITS,,

Love their design

And love how they’re not exactly like a pure white?

Different spirit representing each aspect of the triforce my beloved

But yes hi I think Ordona is very cool

Who are you, how did you get here, which goddess do you represent? Do you even represent one of the three golden goddesses? Do the Ordonians know about you? Have any of them ever SEEN you??? Do they worship you? Does anybody even know about the existence of the light spirits?? FUCK so many questions but ghhh I like how they broke the status quo a bit by throwing in a fourth spirit :)

I feel like this one is kinda weird but I like that voice sample they used in the light spirit music. It’s spooky and pretty at the same time :)  

cutscenes mmmmm

Ok ok, the spooky lanayru cutscene is very good

BUT THE “Link, Chosen Hero! Lend us the last of your power!” CUTSCENE MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM LOVE IT SO MUCH

IT just

Idk man

It just hit different

I like the music

And seeing the light spirits swimming around in the light juice water whatever it is

Summoning the light arrows?

AND HHHHH “Lend us the last of your power!” THIS IS IT. This is the final battle.

Seeing Zelda bow down, and then Link putting his hand out 👌👌👌

Link: ok bud, let’s do this together :)

Connection to OoT (did I already mention this? Maybe., Whatever)

Very cool nintendo :)

I love seeing connections between all the diff zelda games.

Because like, on one hand, they’re all separate from each other because of yknow, individual hero stuff. BUT ALSO, they’re all connected because of the reincarnation stuff

Grrrr walking through the sacred grove and going “The Hero of Time walked around here a long time ago” FUCK THATS SO COOL

Is the Hero’s Shade watching me? What does he think of me? DIsappointed? Proud? The Hero of Time went through HELL so this timeline didn’t have to deal with any of the shit Ganon was gonna pull with the triforce, better not fuck this UP Link!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Midlink is cute

Kinda hurts that she smashed the mirror but that was probably so Nintendo didn’t have to worry about people going “but what about the twili??????” for any of the other games LMAO

BUT ALSO LIKE SKJDKLJFJ There are some pretty massive plot holes in TP anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ whatever it’s fine we’ll just use this for angst because GOD do y’all like angst

So is Shadlink

Honestly don’t know where this ship came from but it’s cute so whatever

THE MUSIC??

Love Midna’s theme and how they referenced the dark world theme from ALttP (I remember trying to learn the dark world theme on the piano and doing the Leonardo DiCaprio point meme at the little jingle I recognized from Midna’s theme)

Hyrule field theme SLAPS.

Apparently references a couple of the other over-world themes from the previous zelda games (I got this from 8-bit Music theory’s video on the over-world zelda themes, he talks about TP at around 11:40 but def recommend watching the whole video if you’re into music analysis stuff)

So there’s this bit of the Hyrule Field theme, I don’t know the official name for it but I remember seeing somewhere it being called the “at an advantage theme” since yeah, you hear it during the boss music whenever you expose their weak points. FUCKINGGG LOVE THAT. Didn’t notice it during my first playthrough, but hearing it during my second was like a little easter egg for my ears every time :)

Midna’s lament is very pretty (and fun to play on the piano)

COURAGE THEME.

I didn’t care for it too much when I started playing the game but hearing it in ZREO’s arrangement of the Hyrule Field theme literally makes me turn into a puddle of emotions. Also hearing it around and of the Ordon kids (I think it plays after Link saves Colin) AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Orchestra piece #1 and #2 HOLY SHIT???????????????? 

Literally, the first time I listened to those I just,,,, plugged in my headphones, volume 100, layed on the floor/against my desk and silently vibed. I don’t know what the hell it is, but those two just fit so well with TP?? I still avoid listening to them nowadays cause if I DO I definitely will get overwhelmed with the “god I love this game so FUCKING MUCH” kind of feels.

Wolf link sucks at singing

the first time I heard him howling Zelda’s Lullaby I lost my shit because LKSJLDKSGLKJFSKG god that was.,, Bad. Anyways, hearing him howl some of the songs from OoT was cute :)

TP STAFF ROLL??? 

VERY GOOD. IT’s like 10 minutes long and GOD do I love every single second of it. It doesn’t have the same energy as the skyward sword staff roll or the orchestra pieces but GOD does it hit good??

Nice and calm after that big exciting adventure. Maybe it would have been more fun or emotional to have a higher energy piece but it was really nice getting to sit back and watch the camera fly around Hyrule. Seeing like, the Gorons and the Zoras having a good time, the kids returning to Ordon? GOOD SHIT.

and AAAAA that end, when you hear the main Zelda theme and see Link riding off out of Faron woods on Epona… good shit. It gets you thinking, where the hell is he going? What is he doing? Off ot do more adventuring? Going to help out the resistance or something? Going to help Zelda? Or maybe he’s trying to figure out a way to restore the mirror of twilight? Whoooo knows.

hhHHHHhhh it’s just that final reminder that YES!!! YOU JUST PLAYED A ZELDA GAME. JUST ANOTHER STORY APART OF THE WHOLE EPIC OF THE ZELDA SERIES AS A WHOLE

I also want to acknowledge the instrument/samples they used for all the twili stuff.

They’re all just so unique and contrast SO well with the rest of the TP OST. LIKE FUCK!! Anytime I hear the screech from the Twilit Kargarok? Sends a shiver down my spine. I associate those sounds SO strongly with the twili realm. (Like, the same way you associate the BSHEWW VVWWMMM sounds with light sabers)

I love it so god damn much

literally any time there’s a certain sound or motif associated with something I lose my shit

Sacred grove sacred grove sacred gro-

lovely lovely lovely so much fun playing that on the piano. AND again, I did the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme when I heard the theme from the lost woods come in GHHHHHHHH

shoutout to TP Faron Woods for helping me study and get through all of my schoolwork

BLEGUUHHH can you tell that I really love music?

and also yea I guess TP is kinda cool too :\

IF YOU READ ALL OF THAT THANKS I GUESS

[arty-shadow-morningstar]

Graveyard Siblings (2)

Alright, Here is the addition to the first post I made about Marinette having a somewhat of a similar backstory to Jason.

[Masterlist]

WARNING: the Revenge part have some suicide, death, physical abuse and bullying stuff mentioned. Extreme Lila Bashing.

--------

Marinette runs a business called Afterlife (I am bad with names, gimme a break) with Wayne Enterprise as a partnership. She is the mysterious designer MT.

Jagged knows about Marinette and the whole LB thing after one scare and an explanation and promotes it a lot.

The Waynes can’t believe that she knew Jagged Stone.

So Afterlife brand is taking off and is the hottest new thing since Jagged is wearing it and MT is apparently the mysterious newly adopted Wayne who hasn’t appeared in public much and the family’s personal designer.

Loads of Celebrity commissions.

Gabriel loses sales as the new line they launched ‘coincided’ with the launch of Afterlife’s newest fashion line called Karma.

I should mention that Edna Mode(?) and Audrey Bourgeois gave many praises to MT because they are amazing designs and to spite Gabriel a little bit.

Gabriel doesn’t panic yet. A lie

I haven’t talked about Lila much, have I? Let’s just say she got a visit from a ghost, well, several ghosts.

Remember that guy Marinette mentioned that could get her fake documents. It was John Costantine, who owes her a favor ( he owes her more than a few and he would do anything she asked for her brownies. )

Tim and Babs dig up dirt on Lila Rossi and their silence was brought with a delicious cake.(coffee flavored for Tim)

Gets John to do a little summoning for her.

------

(Suicide implied, death, bullying, You have been warned)

“~Lila~. ~Oh Lila~”

Lila turned to her other side, wishing the voice would shut up.

“Oh, Lie-la, sleeping so peacefully. So silent. I wish you would stay that way forever.” The voice said menacingly.

Lila’s eyes snapped wide open to come face-to-face with supposed to be dead Marinette Dupain-Cheng with a manic look. Did Marinette had red eyes before?

Lila screamed.

“Oh, it’s no use. No one will hear you. Remember when you said those words. To poor Bianca. Every day at lunch break in the old unused bathrooms when you beat her up for not doing as you say.”

A girl with long dark hair appeared. Covered in black and blue bruises. Looking at Lila with hate.

“Let’s not forget. Poor Tommy. Alex. Andrea. Wil. Gary. Nico. Freya. Magnus. Della…” As Marinette listed off names, more and more teens appeared, the youngest being a 10 year old girl.

They all had the same expression as Bianca. Utter hatred.

“And there is me. The latest in your long line of victims. Lie-la, how do you feel right now, looking at the casualties of your greed for fame and fortune? Your ‘enemies’. And you know that English saying, ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’.” Marinette gave a sinister laugh.

“You are dead. You were all supposed to be dead. This isn't real. This isn’t real.” Lila chanted, closing her eyes and covering her ears.

She felt cold fingers lifting up her face to meet red eyes, promising many Bad things.

“Sorry, sweetie. This is the cold harsh reality. You thought that you could get away with it. The deaths you caused with your filthy lies and ‘so-call accidents’. You danced on our ashes and you built your kingdom with our blood on your hands. I hoped you enjoyed it while it lasted. ”

The nails dug further into her face, drawing some blood and sure to leave some scars.

“Because, Lila Rossi, this is the last time you would know peace. And could you pass on a message to the Agrestes for me. Tell them that Death cannot hold back the wrath of Ladybug.” Turning to the other ghosts. “Get her.”

Marinette stepped back as the other teens pounced on her. Scratching, pulling, biting. Inflicting pain on Lila. She jumped out the window and landed next to John smoking.

“Thanks for everything. Will she be okay?” Lila’s screams can’t be heard due to a soundproof charm.

“She will wake up in the morning, a little sore thinking it was all a nightmare.”

“That is until she looks into a mirror. I left a little something to remind her that it actually happened. By the way, can you help me with this curse?” She said, pulling out a notebook.

“Let me see. Hmm.. Oh.. that’s a good one. Nice. Wow...You are very creative with curses, remind me to never get on your bad side. But are you sure about that last part?”

“Lila needs a lesson and as much as I hate her and wants her to suffer for the rest of eternity. She doesn’t deserve being tormented for the rest of her life. At least, she should learn that actions have consequences, especially for everything she had done so far.”

“You are too kind despite everything that has happened, Pigtails.”

“Doesn’t mean I am going to give you the resurrection spell I used.”

“You are no fun. You are as bad as Bats.”

--------

Lila’s curse is that she sees her victims when she leasts expects it. Alya, talking about her blog, is replaced with Bianca cracking her knuckles and about to punch Lila. In everyone else, it looked Lila screamed ‘Please don’t hurt me” to a confused Alya.

Lies some more to save face but the more she lies, the more the ghosts keep appearing. Some actually hurt her but there are no bruises or cuts to prove that it happened.

She is just so jumpy all the time and during photoshoots, Adrien gets replaced with a rotting corpse and every picture comes out with fear in her eyes.

Gabriel fires her after a million complaints.

Not before relaying Marinette’s message. “She cursed me. She came into my room and did this to me (pointing to the scars on her face.) She sent my dead classmates after me.”

“Who?”

“Ladybug. She told me to tell you that even Death cannot stop Ladybug’s wrath. So better watch your back, M. Agreste.”

(Gabriel didn’t feel threaten not at all. There is no such thing as ghosts. Sure magic is real with the Kwamis and the Miraculouses as proof. But ghosts? Those are just stories. Lila Rossi just had a nightmare that was too vivid for her. He definitely is not searching Google for warding them off. Especially revenge-seeking ones. He was just looking for inspiration. That MT caused a lot of trouble and sleepless nights for Gabriel but this next line was sure to be a success.) He was wrong.

No matter how many NDAs he made people signed and how much security measures he took. Afterlife seems to hosts fashion shows, launch new lines or their designs made the cover of a famous fashion magazine and SHOWING UP the GABRIEL brand EVERY! SINGLE! TIME!

Gabriel is rarely in the headlines these days and most of the billboards in Paris is filled with products from Afterlife (Chloe as a model with a mask to conceal her identity which adds to a mystery.) or WE.

He is super frustrated and a little desperate.

------

Got any ideas for revenge on Gabriel, Natalie and Adrien? Also the rest of the class?

(Part 3)

[subwaysurf45]

Winter Makes Ice (Ep. 4)

Summary: you’re captured after a brawl at the Avengers building, Bucky and others must save you before Hydra makes a new Winter Soldier out of you, Bucky has given up that title.

Words: 4123

Episode: Four

Warning: violence, gore, description of violence, fighting

Masterlist! Winter Makes Ice Episode: Three

Time: 3:20am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Wakanda was always calm when Steve went, the people who lived there just seemed to understand the ways of life. There was never a catcall or fight in an alley, people greeted each other with kindness and a soft bow, Steve always copied but felt like he was too stiff when he did so. He found he walked with his back a little straighter and his chin a little higher, he felt unstoppable in the warm climate, filled with power and generosity. 

Natasha on the other hand hated Wakanda, not because of the people but for the same reason as Steve; it was too peaceful. She’d always get the dirtiest looks when trying to explain her case, no one seemed to understand the concept of ‘too much comfort is uncomfortable’. She ran to Bucky once after a moment and asked him why he liked it so much, she thought he off all people would hate comfort, he’d always be one to sleep on the floor because the mattress would feel like it was swallowing him. He just shook his head and shrugged, he’d never tell anyone why; Nat found out he never even told you. 

Natasha had been trained to trust no one other than yourself, but after escaping the Red Room she questioned the one in the mirror all too often. People would smile and while Steve smiled and waved Natasha thought of ulterior motives, why were they smiling to them and not the people slightly behind them? but then they’d smile to the people behind Natasha and she’d question if it was to cover themselves. The welcoming's to almost everywhere felt weird, she wanted to break in or have to fake her way to what she wanted, having doors opened for her felt like a slap in the face for all the things she’s done for those years before. 

“God, gives me the creeps,” Natasha faked a shiver, Steve just rolled his eyes. They were walking in the palace now, T’Challa would be waiting for them in Shuri’s tech room. 

Apparently Shuri had been wanting to try a new type of cuff, one made of- obviously -vibranium that tightens at a lie. There were little needles that poke into the culprit's nervous system, it picks up on someone’s sign that they are lying and tightens when the little pins are triggered. If someone's breath picked up or heart rate doubled, it would squeeze a little bit more until their hands were blue. Nat thought it was amazing when she heard it over the phone, her mind was picturing it the entire flight over. 

Steve had been thinking about Bucky, Steve was well aware of Bucky’s deep connection to you. You’d been dating for over a year and it was love at first sight (then Bucky quietly loving you from the other side of the room), Bucky was never one to fall for someone, he’d never have the confidence in himself that he’d be here for too long. But it was the little things Bucky began to do that made Steve appreciate you even more. He’d watch from his spot on the kitchen counter, quietly sipping coffee and reading the paper, which wasn’t actually paper because it was on his phone, while glancing over every so often to see you and Bucky in your own little world, both giggling at something. There's this moment for Bucky when he’d just look at you, Steve had seen it happen so often, like Bucky was taking a step back and realizing he had someone who loved him unconditionally. The laugh would die down and Bucky would whisper something, it would alway be along the lines of ‘thank you’ but it could change. He’d sometimes do it with Steve as well, both you and Steve would say the same thing, ‘no need to thank me, but you’re welcome’ because that’s what Bucky liked best. 

You were just an agent when you arrived, nothing more. Slowly you had gotten to know who everyone was by going out of your way to give out cookies to everyone who walked by you, it was a little thing Bucky seemed to really enjoy. After your talents were discovered from past jobs you were moved to a spy, you’d used to work for a private firm where they’d track down people who launder money, you’d have to get so much evidence it often led you to get jobs at mattress stores or random shops. With that and a lifeguard certification- that you got when you were a teen- under your belt you were perfect to be an agent, Fury introduced you to Bucky for combat training because Bucky needed to learn how to work with others; Steve actually told Fury to give Bucky the assignment. 

You’d spar everyday and the both of you would get into it. There would be times where you wouldn’t talk to each other for the rest of the day because the other cheated. Everyone would laugh but you’d take it very seriously, Bucky would always say you weren’t strong enough to go out into the field, so you lifted weights. He’d say you weren’t fast enough, then he’d see you sprinting on the treadmill a day later. 

Steve knew you were good for Bucky when you were about to start dating, it was at that part where you were going on dates but you weren’t dating. With all the things Bucky had criticized you on, you flipped it on him with one simple task: keep your fiddle-leaf fig plant alive. It would’ve taken Bucky one google search to find out that 61% of people can’t keep this house plant alive, it’s the hardest one to take care of. It was a metaphor of sorts, for you and for your relationship. 

It wasn’t a surprise to find it dead when you got home, Steve came to you with his shoulders slumped. Apparently Bucky had been crying for three days straight because he killed your plant and he thought you’d dump him because of it. It was the weird feelings when Steve saw you start to laugh, this was his best friend who was crying of guilt and you were laughing, he’d wanted to punch you square in the jaw. 

“What’s so funny?” he asked way too harshly. 

“Oh nothing…” you wiped the tear that had fallen. 

“Baby, I’m so sorry!” Bucky had left his room and came running to you, his face was red and his eyes were barely open from how puffy they were. He quickly pulled you in for a hug, “I messed up your plant, I’m sorry.”

Steve was getting redder and redder the more you laughed, “what’s so fucking funny, huh?” Steve boomed, he was getting protective. 

You had dropped the act then, both of them were very emotional at the moment and laughing wouldn’t be the best choice of action. “Don’t worry, Bucky,” you soothed him, “you weren’t supposed to keep alive.” 

“What?” he pulled away and sniffled, “but you asked me to-”

“To try,” you paused with emphasis, “and keep one of the hardest plants to keep alive, alive.” you smiled, “I was proud that I had kept it alive for as long as I did, but I needed to see what you would do with something like this.” 

“Why?” Steve asked for Bucky, still very protective. 

“Did you buy a new one and hope I didn’t notice?” You asked, Bucky shook his head no. “did you get mad at me because I gave you a stupid chore?” He also said no to that. “Did you make Wanda keep it alive with her powers?” all these options ran through Bucky’s head and he didn’t even think of them, “you put so much effort into this, and even if you did fail you still cared a lot, that’s all I ever want. I want this relationship to work and if you run at the first sign of adversity then this won’t work, but you buckle down and keep pushing, and if it doesn’t work? Then I know you actually cared, and you tried. That’s all.” 

“You’re a keeper.,” Steve said before walking away and giving them space to catch up. 

Nat waved a hand in front of Steve’s face, and it turns out he’d been staring at T’Challa for a while while he was talking. They had walked the entire way and Steve just stared at the ground with a blank expression, he needed to look out for you in order to keep Bucky sane. 

“S-sorry, I zoned out.” Steve straightened his posture a bit, hands on hips and shoulders rolled back.

“No worries, captain Rogers.” T’Challa spoke calm as ever, “I have the criminals in the room, they have the new tech that’s already set up, my sister wanted to set it up.” T’Challa opened one arm and guided them to the secret room where two men sat with their hands cuffed and on their laps. “Neither of them have any record of being born, probably a fake identity.” The king linked arms with Shuri and walked out of the small room. 

Seeing how grand and futuristic Shuri’s lab was made it shocking to be in a normal interrogation cell, two rusty chairs that were occupied and no table. Steve looked to see the single light that hung from the ceiling, it wasn’t a soft yellow like the one’s at the Avenger building but purple, vibranium always casted a purple/blue hue. 

“Where are you from?” Steve asked. 

“Iceland.” the one on Steve’s left answered. 

“Is Hydra now stationed in Iceland?” Nat cut in and asked. 

“One station, there’s many.” The same man on the left kept talking, the other one had his head all the way down with his forehead touching his knees. 

Steve leaned up against the wall, “you attacked Princes Shuri, why?”

“Because she is the one that made us start from the very beginning, she's the one that erased the trigger words from your friend and our weapon.” He snarled, “She needed to pay for what she did, we should have known Wakanda was the hardest place to attack, we’d need a Winter Soldier for that.” A smirk grew from the right side of his mouth. 

“What are you smiling about?” Nat pressed, she walked closer.

“Oh, nothing- ow!” the handcuffs tightened, his breathing rate doubled as he tried to ride out the initial shock. 

“Tell us!” Steve smashed the wall, causing a dent to grow from it. 

“Fine…” the man adjusted, “once we found out we’d never get our Winter Soldier back we quickly moved on, no one can break Wakanda’s tech, it’s impossible.” The man sighed and looked off, “so we chose to start again, make a new way, create a new trial. It’s safe to say we did.” he took a deep breath and leaded back against his chair, his fingertips were beginning to turn purple, it was difficult to see with the purple hue of the room. “When we attacked your building we didn’t want Barnes, we wanted someone, anyone. This girl was the closest to us, and it seemed to be the closest to Barnes, am I right?” he quizzed, seemed to be genuinely wondering. “She’d wake up and forget where she is, normally she’d pat the ground beside her and call out for a man named Bucky, that’s Barnes. It was the perfect choice, completely on a whim.” He looked at Nat, “she got her confidence from you, the entire time we were slowly poisoning her she completely believed she was here for ransom, it was funny to see her face when he told her what we did to her, how we now control her. The look on her face when we asked who wiped Barnes’ trigger words… She spit them out but her face was full of fear, her voice and thoughts weren’t her own.” 

“Why would you tell us all of this?” Steve asked. 

“I know I will die,” the cuffs didn’t tighten, “and my friend is already dead, I’d like to go with a bullet and not torture.” He looked up to them. “I think my father has passed, he worked for Hydra and I’d like to see him, to ask for forgiveness.”

Natasha pushed back the other man who hadn’t spoken a word to find his hands blackened and completely dead, the tightness had cut off all circulation. Right near the edge of the cuff and on the man’s skin was starting to split, there was no blood to leak out of the cut because there wasn’t blood in the veins, it was slowly falling and peeling away. 

“You tortured my friend- two of them actually!” Steve screamed, “I hope to god you die slowly.” Steve lifted his gun to the man’s face, he closed his eyes. But Steve moved the aim to the thigh, you had told him that a shot to the femoral artery was fatel after ten seconds of bleeding, you had also told him that the femur- which was what the femoral artery is attached to -is the most painful break for bones. 

So Steve shot at the middle of the thigh, he and Nat watched without emotion as the man quickly bled out, the blood squirted in the air and rolled down his pants. Blood coming from an artery is bright red and tends to squirt, but from a vein makes the blood more slow and dark. When the final squirt of blood managed to hit the man’s face, Steve knew he hit right on target; and that you were right for all those things.

Time: 5:59am

Date: October 3rd 2024

Bucky and Wanda walked through the forest, most of the leaves had fallen off the trees due to the season so they could see further into the thick woods. Not a lot of talking was happening between the two of them, Bucky was way too focused on keeping his cool while Wanda used her powers to see if there was any form of life around. 

The wind blew softly and the leaves that held on for dear life were now getting pushed aside off the flimsy twigs, they would fall and join the other countless leaves that met the same fate. Wanda loved the fall, she’d jump into a pile of leaves any chance she got. Right now she was purposely stepping on the ones that looked the most dry which would give a good crunch. Her nose was a little red due to the cold but everywhere else she was yellow and happy, it seemed she gave off heat.

Bucky hated the fall, the sound of stepping on leaves sounded like someone was right behind him. If there was a Hydra agent out in these woods they would have heard them from a mile away with all of Wanda’s jumping and giggling. Bucky loved Wanda in a motherly kind of way, but sometimes she was just too...happy…

When everything seemed lost, Bucky and Wanda’s phones began to vibrate, Bucky was quick to pick up. Both Bucky and Wanda made their way to a tree stump to take a moment to listen. Wanda sat on the ground floor and picked at the tons of leaves that covered the ground, she’d pick and rip them apart one by one. 

“It’s Steve,” Bucky whispered before picking up, “Steve?”

“Buck, you have to listen to me,” his voice was shaken and distraught, “I’ve sent the coordinates, she’s there but I don’t know how much of her is left.” 

“What does that mean?” Bucky asked as he looked over to see Wanda looking at the coordinates on her phone. 

“I don’t know how much has happened to her, they’ve brainwashed her.” Steve took a deep breath, Bucky could hear Nat in the background, “we have to act fast, we’re on our way, do not wait for us.” he commanded and Bucky nodded but he knew Steve couldn't see, there was a type of mind reading between the two of them that really came in handy for times like these. 

“Roger that.” Bucky hung up and began to move again, Wanda had read the location and it turned out they weren’t that far away, at the final stretch they saw the building through the empty trees. 

The forest had been cleared around the building, the grass seems healthy but it was starting to brown with the changing weather. The building itself was very small for it to be the most dangerous Hydra facility, it was only one story. There were no windows and the outer wall was all one grey colour, no symbols or tanks ready to fire; there wasn’t even a guard around the building. It seemed too vacant for it to be true, the wind seemed to stop as they got closer into the open field, it was completely still and almost dead. 

Bucky or Wanda actually had a plan, everything had been so fast there wasn’t anything drawn out or spoken about at some meeting, this was all instinct. Though there were no windows and security cameras they both knew something had to be watching the outside, they were low to the ground in the open field but the grass was way too short to cover them. Bucky had his gun ready while Wanda’s hands were in a position to create a shield for the both of them, at the sound of a vibration Wanda checked her phone. 

“Steve and Nat have landed, they are five minuets out,” she whispered. 

“Copy.” was all Bucky could think to say. 

Both of their backs smashed against the wall, with their final moments of bliss before fighting a couple deep breaths were taken and eyes remained shut. Bucky’s finger fiddled on the trigger of the gun, Imagining what it would look like to blow the man who hurt you to oblivion. Bucky moved further and farther away from his Winter Soldier thoughts, the mass murder and robotic revenge. But when it came to someone hurting you, he’d even put the mask back on.

On the count of three the door was bursted open, and right away agents on the inside began to fire. Wanda and Bucky took them down their own way. 

One agent was still alive, Bucky ran up and gripped his throat. “Where is she!” he screamed. 

“You’ll never know-”

A gun was placed to his head. 

“-Alright! Alright!” The man shrieked, “third door on the left, please don’t kill me!” the man cried. 

“I won’t kill you,” Bucky lowered his gun but the grip on his neck tightened, “I’ll torture you slowly before.'' His left hand gripped so tight around the agent’s neck he could hear the bone shattering, clear fluid from the agent’s spine leaked from his eye and ear before blood followed. Bucky watched emotionlessly as the agent’s face turned blue and almost popped like a balloon. “Wanda, get them all outside.” 

“Yes, sergeant!” Wanda yelled, she was fighting off everyone else. 

Bucky blew by everyone as they ran to see the commotion, so ran right by Bucky without thinking he was the threat. Wanda was now outside and in a matter of seconds the eeriness of the outside matched the inside, the air was still and stuffy, it smelt like the beginning of decomposing. Bucky had his gun ready but it seemed no one was in here, his only threat was you. 

Bucky took note of the stone grey floors, and stone grey walls, and stone grey ceilings. HYDRA didn’t put much money into design like the Avenger’s did, all the funds they collected went straight into the tech they made and Bucky was sure that’s why they were still around, they had so much money saved that they could pay people to turn their cheek and walk the other way. 

As Bucky scanned for something to give away where all the scientists were, his eye met another door in the very corner of the room, it was exactly the same colour of the stone grey walls but the brass door knob caught his eye. All you could hear was the boot of Bucky’s combat boots on the floor, his breath was even scaring him. His hand reached out for the door and when he opened it he found what he was worrying about. 

A cell. More specifically: an empty cell. 

There were chains hanging from the ceiling, one large cuff, one for what seemed to be used for a neck and then four cuffs for wrists and ankles. Bucky completely forgot where he was, he didn’t remember there was an entire lab behind him, all his mind was throwing at his memories of a cell just like this. 

Bucky didn’t remember much about cells in the early days fighting against HYDRA in a cell, in the 40’s. He did, however, remember what it was like to come out of ice when he was needed. The concept of life didn’t exist when he was frozen, it felt like a long blink, it didn’t seem like he’d been asleep for years.

He’d wake up and for a second he was still normal. He’d think it’s cold because it was winter and his house back in the 40’s didn’t have any type of heating system except for a small fireplace, his boots and pants were still on because he got hammered the night before- also explaining the headache -and just fell into bed. All his convincing would go away when his brain would fog again, and he’d look down and catch the shine of his left arm, all at once he’d fall back into place. The dissociating happens after dreams but it came from waking up and not really knowing who he was, as he’d walk to whatever commander was in charge that year he’d ask himself what he was, all the memories and answers in his brain would seem to pull further away, like a word in the tip of his tongue. 

He was ripped from his thoughts manually, he thought of you. He thought he was hypnotizing himself when he looked in there at first, too triggered by what he saw to think straight, but he took another moment to look, he saw the chains swinging back and forth ever so slightly.

His stomach dropped, he knew you were still in the room. “Sweetheart?” he called like he always did, “it’s Bucky, we’re gonna get you out of here, come out, baby.” he tried to sound as soothing as possible, he looked under every lab table and every chair. 

He flipped through pages on his desk, reading the details of what they did to you. “What is I.C.E.?” Bucky asked himself. 

“Injected Complying Enhancement.” 

Bucky turned as fast as he could to see you behind him. You were completely naked, body covered in dirt and grime, your hair was hacked and it seemed to have been pulled. Bucky just looked at your body, words were carved into your skin, every single one of them were infected, puss bubbles around the angry red scars. As his eyes trailed up he saw blue on your finger tips, then he reached your face to see a sunken cheekbone and massive cut on your forehead, but nothing compared to a generous piece of your nose hanging on by a thread, the tip was black. 

“Baby, do you know me?” Bucky asked through heavy tears, this wasn’t what he was expecting. 

You scanned over him, “Sergeant, James Buchanan Barnes, 32557038.” 

Right at that moment, he knew you were gone.

Winter Makes Ice tag list: @small-death-and-codeine​ @commonintrest​ @buckyys-doll​  @lil-baby-nor​

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[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song iii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, lots of lasagne talk, flirting, kissing, fluff 🥰 words; 9,340

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After you had time to calm down, of course you ended up telling Soojung about what happened on the date. You kept some things to yourself, mainly about how giddy you had felt throughout the whole thing, but you were sure she could see that for herself – she kept looking at you knowingly, and for once she kept the teasing down to a minimum. You ended up staying awake quite late, Soojung opening a bottle of wine. You were still excited from the date and the thought of what was to come next, but somewhere along the line, you and your best friend started getting into your feelings. (Was it really a Saturday night until you and Soojung ended it with slightly drunk sappy heart to hearts and hugs? Obviously not…) 

For the first time in a while you felt comfortable enough to open up about your love life (or lack of one) and felt it easy to talk about the past and to even bring up Donghae. He was a forbidden topic for the most part, no matter how much you were over him, but tonight had changed something. You didn’t know how to explain it, and no, it wasn’t because Seokjin was somehow the man of your dreams who had magically made things better with just one date. That was dumb and only happened in cliché Hallmark movies. 

No, it was because tonight had shown you that life goes on. No matter what rock bottom you hit, or how long it took you to get over it, no hurt was forever. You’d been single for a long time, and happy at that – after you’d gotten over the heartbreak of Donghae cheating on you – but tonight you’d had fun. You’d enjoyed yourself, enjoyed Seokjin’s company. You didn’t know what would come of your second date, or if there would be a third, but you were okay with that. You were just living in the moment, and right now you really liked that infuriating-not-so-infuriating bastard. 

You were taking a chance, just like he was, and it was actually pretty exciting…

.

.

You woke up late the next morning, something you didn’t reprimand yourself for because it was summer break after all, but also, you had a raging wine headache that had needed all the shut eye it could get. Your head was still throbbing slightly as you reached for your phone on the bedside table but seeing a text from Seokjin waiting for you made it miraculously disappear. 

Seokjin (10:28am) Hi Y/N, Thank you for such a great time last night. I can’t wait until Saturday. Would it be alright with you if I kept in touch throughout the week?  Seokjin

You giggled to yourself at his insane formalities. Why was that so adorable? But most importantly how could he be both cute and sexy at the same time? He was hellbent on making you lose your mind. You thought about teasing him, asking him when he’d grown comfortable enough to drop the Regards from yesterday, but despite how well last night had gone, and despite how much you loved joking around with him in person, over the phone seemed different. You were still a little nervous – giddy nervous, but nervous, nevertheless. Your conversation from last night with Soojung came back to you, reminding you that this was all too real. You were potentially catching feelings for this man, and it was new, and exciting, but equal parts terrifying now that you’d woken up with a hangover. 

Everything you typed out in reply seemed way too stiff, so growing frustrated, you settled on an emoji to cut through the formalities. 

You (10:49am) I had such a lovely time too, Seokjin. Of course it’s fine to keep in touch. I’m looking forward to Saturday night! 😊

What did he mean exactly about keeping in touch?, you wondered as you got out of bed, padding your way down the stairs and into the kitchen for a much needed glass of ice cold water. A good morning text? A how are you? You knew he was busy with work all week, so you weren’t expecting too much, but just knowing he wanted to stay in contact until next Saturday made you smile to yourself as you waited for his response. 

You didn’t have to wait long. 

Seokjin (10:55am) Great! I’m so excited to try your World famous Italian lasagne 😁

Cute. He’d followed your lead, ditching the last of the formalities and even signing off with an emoji instead. You instantly felt more at ease, but – 

Oh no. 

Why did he have to bring that up and remind you of your humiliating blunder? You knew what would be taking up all of your time for the few days – you needed to perfect this goddamn dish. 

Soojung on the other hand was unbothered by your predicament. Mind in the gutter as always. “Do you think that’s a euphemism for something else?” She asked straight away once you’d shown her your messages a few hours later. 

“Soojung!” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get a little hot in the face. You wish she’d stop bringing up sex, it was stressing you out. You told her as much. 

“You’re the one who’s invited him to your house for a second date.” 

You stared at her, greatly unimpressed. “You know why I invited him here.” 

You’d told her last night. You’d been hit with a surge of confidence when you’d suggested it was your turn to decide on something. In truth though, you didn’t know the first thing about restaurants, you hardly ever ate out, and when you did it was either fast food or at the food court in the department store Soojung worked at. You knew he wouldn’t have minded any choice you’d made, but that didn’t stop the slight apprehension you felt. 

It was normal, given your difference in lifestyles, and whilst that seemed to be no issue thankfully, that difference was still there. However really, that’s why you’d chosen to cook for him. Seokjin had shown you something close to him last night – the restaurant he owned with his brother, and now you were to show him something close to your heart. Something that was you. You loved cooking and baking in your spare time and you wanted to share that with him however small. Granted it was things you were confident with, but lasagne couldn’t be that hard, right? A true perfectionist, you’d master it quickly enough…

Soojung rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you could suggest McDonald’s and Dilf would be insanely happy.” She nudged you, squealing like a kid. “He’s just so into you!”

You wouldn’t bite. She was making you nervous again. “Stop calling him Dilf, he has a name.”

“Geez, sorry.” She held up her hands in apology. “Didn’t mean to offend your man.” 

You pushed her shoulder, silently telling her to quit it.

For the next few days it became your life’s goal to master the art of lasagne. Sunday night was spent googling recipes, trying to find the most authentic one. There seemed to be a lot of fuss on the right type of pasta. Flat edged would be fine, but the wavy edge was best. You made note of that. Next was the sauce. Two types. The tomato based one and then the white one – which you learned was called Bechamel. That seemed pretty easy to cook up, but the former seemed a little daunting. Every time you’d had pasta sauce in the past it had been premade, starting from scratch was giving you anxiety. Seokjin thought this was your expertise so you had to make it believable. What if you made it too salty? Too bland?

…Possibly you were thinking way too hard about this. Soojung thought the same. 

“Just buy it in a jar, Y/N, for Christ’s sake. You’re taking this way too seriously. You don’t need to learn fluent Italian to make your little white lie believable. It’s a goddamn lasagne.” 

She had a point. 

“He’d be happy with a sandwich. He’s coming over for you, not the shitty lasagne.” 

“Don’t call my non-existent lasagne shitty, you’re setting me up for failure.” You grumbled, looking at the ten tabs you had up on your laptop screen, all claiming to be the best most authentic recipe around.  

On Monday you went shopping for ingredients. You knew a small world foods store that was just outside of town, you’d been there a couple of times when you’d been baking with the children for class. With help from signposted aisles, you found what you were looking for in no time at all, so that night, you and Soojung both tucked into your first (sort of) homemade lasagne. Only the Bechamel sauces was harder to master than you’d first thought. 

“I think you added too much flour.” Soojung’s nose wrinkled as she spoke. “It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but the white stuff… I don’t know, maybe it’s supposed to taste like that?” 

Nope, she was definitely correct, too much flour, which was odd because you were pretty positive you’d followed the right measurements… 

Tuesday you had a day off from the sight, and even the word lasagne. You met for coffee with your mom but kept the date with Seokjin a secret. Not that she pressed about your love life anymore, she’d long given up on that topic. It was nice to catch up and you made plans for a trip soon. It was hard to find time to visit her when you were in work so you were always thankful for the summer and Christmas breaks. You were her only child, so it made your time together even more precious. She’d only remarried ten years ago, and while Jonathon had kids from his first marriage, they lived abroad. They were older than you and had families of their own. You weren’t particularly close for no other reason than the distance. You’d only met them a few times but they were lovely people. Your father had remarried while you were still in high school, having two more children (a son and daughter) with his wife. You were very close to them despite the age gap and saw them as regularly as you could. Your extended family had long been the norm and you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Wednesday you were back on the lasagne. You purchased more pasta sauce and decided on the pre-made Bechamel sauce too, just to be safe. This time around everything went smoothly, Soojung had no complaints and neither did you, but you still invited Taehyung around on Thursday for a third go. He was way more enthusiastic than your best friend, singing your praises all night. 

“Y/N, that was amazing!” He exclaimed, leaning back in his chair to pat his belly. “Dilf dick – Uh, I mean, Seokjin, is going to love it.” 

“Guys, is that what you really call him when you’re alone together?” You whined. 

“Blame Soo,” Taehyung shrugged. “She’s rubbed off on me. But, I’m right,” he smirked. “He’s going to want to give you his DD once he tastes this, if you know what I mean.” 

Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you looked on unimpressed. Maybe if you gave them no reaction they’d stop? 

“Oooo. I wonder what his dick even looks like. I bet it’s as handsome as his face.” Soojung squealed, sat beside her boyfriend. 

“SOOJUNG!” He cried, mouth open in disbelief. 

“Can we just stop talking about his… y’know…” You sighed, unable to say the word aloud. “Imagine if it was the other way around and he was wondering about what I looked like naked.” Soojung wouldn’t be impressed, that was for sure. 

“Fine, you’re right,” your best friend sighed. “I’m just way too excited because you finally like someone!!” She was getting loud now, she always did when she was excited. “And I want it to work out because you deserve it!” 

You chuckled. “Soo, calm down.” But you had to admit her words were sweet. You reached for her hand across the tiny table, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. 

“What about Barman dick?” Taehyung asked randomly, totally oblivious that you and she were having a moment. “Huh? Soo? You want my Barman dick tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows again, a playfulness to his voice as he nudged her. 

She giggled but wasn’t having any of it. “It doesn’t really have the same ring to it, babe.” 

Highly offended he pulled away, pursing his lips. “Whatever.”

“Okay guys, let’s not have a domestic at the dining table.” You laughed. Which was a mistake because now Taehyung’s attention was back on you. 

“So, Y/N, when are you going to invite Mr. Dilf to my bar?”

You sniggered. “How about never?”

“Hey, you ladies are being very mean tonight. I complimented your lasagne.” Hm. That was true, you guessed. “What’s wrong with my bar? I think he’d love it. What does he drink? I see him as a dark rum type of guy.” 

You shrugged. “He was drinking red wine on our date last week.” It still made you feel funny to say the word date. You’d gone on a date. You were dating. A flurry of excitement found its way to your stomach, your excitement for Saturday growing. 

“Interesting,” Taehyung mused.

Soojung stood up, starting to collect your plates. “Okay, I’m washing, who’s drying?”

“Not me,” you sang. “I’ve cooked nearly every night this week.” 

Soojung eyes were wide when you met them, as if she was silently begging you. For what? “Just please promise me there won’t be any lasagne waiting for me after work tomorrow night? I’m going to turn into one at this rate.” 

Saturday arrived soon enough. You woke up the same time your phone went Bing and you knew exactly who it was. Seokjin had been texting you Good morning every day since Monday. He was no longer signing them off with his name, which was progress, and he was even adding more emojis, so you guessed you had rubbed off on him. 

Sometimes he’d drop a meme with the greeting. They were mostly to do with early mornings and workloads to which you’d tease him about because it was your summer vacation after all, you didn’t need to worry about work. But you always sent a Hope today runs smoothly his way too. You didn’t want to rub it in too much. 

Yesterday’s meme had been about dating, something about the guy trying to flirt but being garbage at it and asking if she liked cheese. You didn’t agree that was like Seokjin though – you were gradually learning that he was incredibly modest – but it had made you laugh. Only Seokjin could send you lame memes and you’d find it adorable… You were possibly whipped. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  Good morning. [Image sent] 

Today the meme was about lasagne, which made you question whether he was googling these every morning because no way had a lasagne meme popped up on his social media – if he used any at all. The realisation that he was searching for memes every day was even more endearing and your heart got a little gooey. You read the text on top of the image of lasagne. Dude, is that your new white shirt? Lemme just hop off this fork for a closer look. You genuinely laughed at that one, still wrapped up in your bed sheets. So incredibly lame, but equal levels funny. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  I will not be wearing white… I can’t wait to see you later. Just a reminder that I hope you omitted the garlic for tonight’s meal. I don’t want to embarrass myself by itching all night 😅😂

Immediately the smile dropped from your face and you shot forward, horror washing over you. Oh no. He was allergic to garlic. With the stress of perfecting the world’s best lasagne you’d totally forgotten. What were you going to do? Find a plain tomato sauce? Where the hell were you going to find one? Was that even a thing? You needed to leave now. Jumping out of bed you almost forgot to message Seokjin back. Looking at your phone again the image of the lasagne mocked you… 

.

.

Two hours later you were back at home, in need of a sit down after you’d rushed around town looking for a pasta sauce that didn’t contain garlic (very hard, by the way.) The stress had aged you about ten years. Soojung of course found it highly hilarious. 

“You’d have been in ER before 9pm,” she chortled, still in her pyjamas on the couch. She’d been still asleep when you’d dashed off, a woman on a lasagne mission. 

You ignored her. It wouldn’t have been that bad, right? He said himself he’d only be itching… Clawing off his own skin was probably better than his throat closing up… maybe… 

“How did you manage to forget?” She was still laughing. “AND you said you’d make a lasagne. Italian food always uses garlic. He must think you’re trying to kill him.” At this point you could hardly understand her, words blurring into one as she lost her shit. 

“We went over this. I wasn’t in my right mind when I said I’d cook lasagne.”

She stopped her laugher immediately.  “No way, you’re not blaming me again.” 

“Ugh.” You sighed, suddenly remembering something. “I was going to make my homemade garlic bread.” Now that was a speciality of yours. This night was going to be a disaster.

“Skip the garlic,” Soojung suggested. 

“So, just bread then.” 

She tried her best not to laugh again, not wanting to make it worse. “Yum.” 

It didn’t help. 

What did help though, was making her clean the entirety of the downstairs of the house. As the day went on you started to get more and more nervous, which was silly, but you couldn’t help it. You realised that your place was a shoe box in comparison to his, what the hell were you thinking when you’d invited him here?! It needed to be spotless, to distract him from the fact you would be eating dinner in the same place you would be cooking it… 

You knew there was no need to worry, it was just like last week when you’d grown self-conscious only to be fine once you’d set eyes on Seokjin. No doubt tonight would be just the same, he didn’t give a crap about stuff like that, so why would you even think he would? He’d probably be hurt if he knew… You just couldn’t help those little bubbles of insecurities from floating around inside your brain. You were a law unto yourself, and the garlic-less lasagne wasn’t helping. You’d had no time to prep for it. What if it tasted like cardboard? 

“Lasagne is lasagne,” Soojung reassured you, in the kitchen as you got all the ingredients together. “It’s not going to taste gross just because there’s no garlic in it. Put it this way, at least you can kiss without needing to pop a mint.” 

You whined, shaking your head, you couldn’t even dare thinking about kissing him right now. You’d spontaneously combust from anxiety. 

“Should we clean your room too?” She asked, picking up the jar of pasta sauce absentmindedly. You’d already read the label approximately fifteen times, double checking it was indeed garlic-less. 

“What? No,” you told her, voice all high-pitched. There would be no going upstairs besides from bathroom usage. “But hey,” you exclaimed, rounding on her with the spoon you were holding in your hand. “My room is always clean, bitch.”

She was the messy one.

.

.

Soojung left for Taehyung’s place at half 6, ready for Seokjin’s arrival at 7pm, a hug for good luck before you waved her off. You’d calmed greatly now, nothing like some table laying to ease some nerves. The lasagne was prepped and ready to oven cook, you had a fresh key lime pie in the fridge and you were dressed and presentable with ten minutes to spare. Wonderful. 

The doorbell rung not long after you’d made your way downstairs and you were quickly finding out that Seokjin was a very punctual man. Opening the door to reveal him stood at the porch your heart instantly warmed, skipping a beat when he gave you a dazzling smile and a soft Hey. You felt a little weak at the knees. Nope, you were not ready for tonight. 

In your tiny entryway he offered you a silver gift bag. “I didn’t know what to bring, so.” He said with a shrug as you pulled out a bottle of red wine. 

“Oh, thank you, Seokjin.” You hadn’t been expecting him to bring anything at all. It was a lovely surprise. 

“You probably have some waiting already. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you reassured him. “We’ll use this one.” You were going to use a bottle of white wine you had laying around, nothing special at all. Red wine seemed better, fancier, maybe it would go better with the lasagne?

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I was gonna get you flowers but I didn’t want to freak you out or anything.”

You laughed. What was he going on about? “Why would that freak me out?”

His smile was crooked as he chuckled quietly. “I don’t know. I’m new to this, I thought they would’ve been too forward.” 

You gave a small shrug, voice barely there when you replied. “I like flowers.”

He gazed at you, warm eyes softening as he stepped forward. “Next time.” He smiled. “Next time I’ll get you flowers.” 

You swallowed fairly loudly, averting your gaze as you outstretched your arms. “Let me take you coat.” Was it hot in here? You felt a little stuffy. 

He shrugged off the beige wool blend, revealing the tight fitting black shirt he had on underneath. It stretched over his shoulders, accentuating how broad they were, how hard his chest was and how much his waist curved inwards. The pants he was wearing didn’t help matters too. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, hair parted to the side, a piece curled above his left eye, softening the blow of his exposed forehead. You moved to hook his coat on the rack, realising you could’ve been gawping. Not that you could help it, the man was trying to kill you.

As you turned to face him again, he smiled. ���You look really nice.” His voice was soft which just made it even more dangerous. “I think this may be the first time I’ve seen you in pants.” 

“Really?” You wondered. You were partial to a dress in the summer, so he was probably right. You’d chosen a pair of black skinny jeans and a patterned chiffon blouse. Nothing too fancy, but he looked at you with awe-filled eyes. Unless you were imagining it. You cleared your throat. “You look good too.”

He stepped back, arms outstretched as he looked down at himself. “Thanks. No white.” He chuckled. 

You forced yourself to laugh too, nerves creeping back just because of your stupid damn lasagne. “No white.” 

Moving forward again he took your hand. It was warm and soft, just as you remembered from last week. Who cared about the lasagne when you were this close to him? When he was looking down at you with those brown, twinkly eyes? Not you anymore. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.” 

Oh.

.

.

You invited him inside the living room first, pouring him a small (and his only because he the car) glass of wine as you chit chatted for a few minutes. Sat next to him was RJ, who you’d taken from your bedroom to join you both for the night. He wanted to say Hi, had been your opening line and Seokjin had found it hilarious, cracking up instantly. Although his “I missed you buddy, how have you been?” went rudely ignored. Maybe the alpaca was nervous… 

Ever the gentleman, he complimented you on the house, noting the décor with a fond eye. That surprised you, maybe he had played a part with the interior of his home. Well, you’d only seen the cosy family room – but it suited him very well. You knew there had been no need to be nervous when it came to inviting him into your home. There wasn’t a judging bone in Seokjin’s body. 

You talked about your weeks, yours had been fine, but of course you left out all the stress over the lasagne. Seokjin’s week on the other hand had been quite demanding, but that was nothing new he told you with an accepting shake of his hand. He was used to it by now, but he had to admit tonight’s date had made it easier this time around. He was full of the charm, not that you were complaining…

Misook was babysitting Arin tonight, he told you when you asked how she was. It was his weekend this week, he and Nana took it in turns – when she didn’t cancel, he added as an afterthought – but he seemed a lot more relaxed talking about his ex-wife this time around seeing as last weekend she hadn’t broken any promises. He was happy if his daughter was happy, and that made you smile. You remembered Arin’s sorrowful face that day her mom had cancelled on her, so you were glad they’d found time to spend time together. You also remembered how irritated Seokjin had sounded when he was opening up to you on the bench at the school fate… You wondered just how often Nana cancelled plans, and couldn’t imagine how frustrating that was for both Arin and Seokjin… You hoped this marked the start of things being easier for them now. 

Soon after that, you served him your starter (“garlic – wait, no I mean, no-garlic bread.”), and you chatted some more over that and while the lasagne baked. It was surprising how little you’d touched the sides on your first date, so tonight you covered even more bases. Family mainly. You told him about your half and step siblings, your parents’ remarriages of course coming up too. He seemed interested in that, wondering about your views on it and if it had affected you as you grew up. As a divorcee you understood the relevance to him and because he was so easy to talk to you found yourself opening up freely. 

His parents were still married and Seokjin was the youngest out of their two sons, so it was quite unheard of for the second born to take over a family company. In fact, it was the first of its kind for his, which made it even harder for him. His older brother had been the rightful heir to LG Electronics but his passion had always been in culinary arts. His parents had been kind enough to let him follow his dreams, and thankfully, for Seokjin, that meant he could follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d been eager to prove himself but it had been hard in the beginning. His status as the youngest son meant that a lot of people set him up for failure, but with his family’s love and belief he’d managed to succeed and confirm himself as the rightful CEO. You didn’t doubt it. It seemed he’d worked hard to get where he was now. That was admirable. 

The influx of information was so interesting to you and it didn’t feel real. While you could imagine Seokjin taking charge, visualising him in that tailored houndstooth suit he’d worn when you’d first met him, it was strange to think the smiley and soft-spoken man sat in front of you was from a long line of power and wealth. He should be untouchable, yet here you were able to reach for his hand across the table. Able to feel his forefinger stroking delicate patterns into your palm as you opened up and got to know one another more and more… 

“So, if your family’s a big deal, what about things like arranged marriages? Are they still a thing?” You asked, maybe confusing fiction for fact. 

Seokjin laughed at your wording. “They used to be, not so much anymore. I met my ex-wife through a friend. They concentrate less on things like that these days.” He shrugged, adding as an afterthought, “As a divorced CEO I think I’m a great example of that.” 

That was true, you thought to yourself, wondering how the breakdown of his marriage had also played a part in the stress of his early years as CEO. 

“I know it all sounds pretty crazy, but I like to think my family is just like anyone else’s.” He continued, smiling bashfully when you met his gaze. “That I’m just like anyone else.” 

You wondered how many people had immediately judged him because of his status… You’d been one of them, right? Even if you hadn’t known any of the details, you’d written him off as some obnoxious, rich guy who flaunted his wealth… You felt guilty thinking back. He was the complete opposite.

You nodded in agreement before grinning. “I’d have liked to see what college Seokjin was like.” 

“A complete nerd, to tell you the truth.” 

He answered so seriously, you didn’t know how to react, and then he was laughing loudly, cracking up at himself. You couldn’t help but join in. That’s when your stove alarm went off, shrill and incessant, signalling the arrival of the dreaded lasagne…

It turned out he loved it though. 

“This is amazing,” Seokjin praised, mouth still half full as he chewed. You did have to admit it was good. It tasted just like the original, despite the lack of garlic. Seokjin quirked an eyebrow, smirking your way. “So, how lucky am I to be able to try this World famous Italian lasagne?” 

“Very lucky.” You kept your answer short. Hoping he’d just drop it. 

He didn’t. 

“How lucky?” He tried to pry from you. “How many people have tried it?” 

You gave him a small smile, hovering your fork over the plate. Technically he was the third, but you couldn’t tell him that, could you? “I can’t disclose that.” 

He emitted a short laugh. “What about the recipe? Care to share?” 

You brushed him off with a soft chuckle. “A chef never tells her secrets.”

“Not even me?” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked across at you. 

Your heart did a little dance. He was being unfair. “Don’t pout like that, it’s making me feel guilty.” 

Thankfully the lasagne topic fizzled out after a couple more minutes, your cold sweat having time to dissipate while you chatted and ate together comfortably. However a few minutes later you noticed Seokjin fidgeting slightly in his seat. You politely ignored it to begin with, unsure if you were just imagining it, but then he started itching the back of his neck. You put your fork down, a sick feeling washing over you. “Is anything wrong?” You asked, now watching him itch up his forearm. “Seokjin?”

He looked at you in mild confusion, eyebrows creasing together as he opened his mouth. “Are you sure there wasn’t any garlic in this?” 

You swallowed away the panic racing up your throat. “I’m sure.” You’d read the back of that jar and then read it some more. “I’m positive.” 

… Weren’t you? You watched him scoot his chair back, leaning down to start scratching the back of his calves. He made noises of discomfort as he did so. 

“Oh, no…” You were up before you could stop yourself, racing around him to start hunting in the recycling for the glass jar. 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

You could hear Seokjin’s voice behind you, sounding alarmed, but you were too panicked to really take it in. You needed to be sure. This was just your second date, you couldn’t ruin things already. Turning him into one giant itchy red blob had not been your intention.  

“I was only teasing you.” Still, his words didn’t sink in. That was until you felt a hand on your elbow, tugging gently for your attention. 

You spun around, worried eyes wide – even wider when you found him so close. He was on his feet too, bent a little to level with you, pretty much within kissing distance. His voice was soft when he spoke, you found yourself distracted by his mouth. “Y/N, I was just messing around.”

You blinked, not truly understanding with all those annoying distractions zooming around your mind, but slowly you pieced his words together. Oh. Despite the relief you felt, now you just felt silly. Plus, he was still so close to you… 

You took a step back, the small of your back pressing up against the counter. You needed a clear head. “Don’t freak me out like that.” You told him, but you still sighed in relief, hand against your chest. “I thought I’d poisoned you.” 

He looked a little concerned, but you could tell by his eyes he found your reaction amusing. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I just wanted to make you laugh.”

“Make me laugh? You nearly gave me heart failure.” However, you gave him what he wanted, a laugh that sounded weak and shaky, but it was something – you did see the funny side. 

He joined you, shoulders relaxing now that he knew you were okay. He looked behind you, eyes on the trashcan, a bemused smile on his face. “What were you looking for anyway?”

“The jar.” You answered, as if it wasn’t obvious. You turned, deciding to fish it out anyway. Holding it up to him, you were adamant. “See, no garlic. Check.” 

He chuckled. “I already said I was joking.” He took one look at your desperate expression and gave in, taking the jar from your hand. “But if it makes you feel better…” You watched him as he read the label, silently soaking in his handsome features. He looked softer tonight, the curve of his jaw rounding as he smiled. It took you a moment to realise he was done. He handed the jar back to you, and you prayed to God he hadn’t caught you staring at him all gooey-eyed. “It’s fine.” He confirmed. “I’ll be itch free tonight.” 

You smiled and plopped the glass back inside the can. “I looked around town for hour trying to find lasagne sauce sans garlic.” 

He looked guilty. “I’m sorry for being awkward.” Then he paused, eyes narrowing, the hint of a smirk itching at the corners of his mouth. “But… Y/N, are you a fraud?” Huh? What did he mean? You didn’t need to wait long for an explanation. “I thought a certified chef would cook up a batch of her own tomato sauce.”

Oh. You’d gone and put your foot in it, hadn’t you? It was probably time to explain yourself… “I have a confession,” you began, sounding wary. Seokjin looked interested albeit it mildly confused. “I… may have told a little white lie.”

He shook his head, a puff of laughter leaving him. “You’ve lost me.” 

You took a deep breath, knowing you were going to have to spell it out for him. “I’ve never made lasagne before. Ever. In my entire life.” 

He looked confused as silence spread out between you. He sounded it too when he spoke again. “Then why did you say it was your speciality?”

You groaned, dropping your face into your hands for one dramatic moment. “I panicked.” Peeking at him, you babbled on. “I know it sounds stupid but Soojung was curtain twitching and it was stressing me out and then you were asking me what I cooked and lasagne just popped into my head!”

Seokjin blinked, his mouth twitched and then he was laughing – loudly. 

“You find it funny?” You asked, relaxing a tad. 

“Very.” He laughed harder but seeing the look of bafflement on your face he tried is best to still it. 

“I’ve been practicing it like crazy,” you whined, happy you could finally tell him all about your lasagne struggles. “This is my fourth time eating it this week. Soojung nearly killed me.” You snorted at the memory. This started up Seokjin again. “And then I forgot you were allergic to garlic. Your text reminded me this morning and I had to rush out to the grocery store.” 

He was weak at the knees at that, and you were laughing just because he was. It was contagious. “Stop,” you wailed, attempting to get a hold of yourself. This week had actually been quite traumatic. “I’m glad you find it funny, I’ve been in constant stress ever since you drove off last week.” 

“I can’t help it.” He chuckled, although he did sound apologetic. “You’re just so adorable.” The air that settled around his effortless admission made your skin prickle. When he carried on, his tone was gentle. “You know I wouldn’t have minded if you changed the menu to something else, right?” 

You pouted ever so slightly. “But you were looking forward to it.” 

He gave a small shrug. “True, but… that was more so code for ‘I’m looking forward to seeing you again.’ The food was just a bonus. I’d be happy with a Big Mac.” 

You felt your cheeks burn and you tried to shake yourself out of it. “So embarrassing,” you murmured. You didn’t know what for… The lasagne mess or the fact he could have this much of an effect of you? You were inclined to go with the latter. 

“What about the no-garlic bread?” Seokjin asked, changing the subject a little. Maybe he’d sensed your embarrassment and didn’t want to make it worse. He was sweet. “Did you make that?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, I didn’t bake the bread. I just toasted it.” It was still a speciality of yours though. “It would’ve been much tastier with the garlic.” 

He gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. This body wants to turn me into a miserable old man.” 

Pfft. Old? Miserable? He was anything but. 

“Sit,” he prompted you, smiling as he motioned with his head to the table. “Finish your World famous Italian lasagne before it grows cold.” 

As you moved he delicately cupped his hand around the curve your waist, giving it a soft squeeze before he got to his chair first. Your stomach flipped, head dizzy as you sat and tucked your chair in. Last Saturday popped into your head, the way you’d loosely held hands outside and how you were sure he’d been leaning in to kiss you – properly. 

You knew one thing. You really wanted to kiss him tonight. 

Trying to get a hold of yourself, you glanced at him, catching his eyes. He was already tucking in again, and he grinned bashfully, as if embarrassed. “This really is great. All that practice paid off.” A pause. “You should show me how you cooked it sometime.” 

Your face lit up in surprise. “You cook?” In the back of your mind you were aware that he’d probably been hinting for a third date, but you were so shocked by the possibly of Seokjin cooking you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. 

He chuckled quietly. “I mean, when I have time and can be bothered. I like cooking but it’s just easier to go to a restaurant or get it delivered.” He looked sheepish before adding, “Or Misook does it for me.” 

There was no shame when it came to that. Seokjin probably worked all hours of the day, no one could expect him to tie on an apron when he got home and start pulling out pots and pans. 

“Do you cook a lot?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Soojung and I take it in turns.” 

“So what is your speciality?” He smiled. 

This time around you were in your right mind and able to answer properly. “Veggie tacos.” 

He raised his eyebrows, impressed. Then he tried again. “Can you make them for me sometime?”

He was persistent, you’d give him that. You shrugged, trying your best to sound impassive but the little smirk gave it away. “Maybe if you say please…” 

He laughed, leaning forward, a hand clasping yours as he tilted his head. The piece of curled hair falling into his left eye. “Please?”

Your heart did another little dance inside your chest. 

.

. 

After dessert you both made your way back to the living room, settling on your couch with two pomegranate mocktails Taehyung had prepared for you yesterday. All you had to do was add the pomegranate juice and lemonade to the ice cubes and crushed lime segments and mint before serving, easy-peasy. Seokjin was highly impressed, but of course you couldn’t take the credit. It was all down to your best friend’s very helpful barman boyfriend. 

You were glad Seokjin wanted to stay as you didn’t want the night to be over yet. It had flown by so fast and you’d had so much fun. You already felt like you knew him better, even after only two dates. It was strange to you, how you could feel so relaxed in a stranger’s company, but then again, you guessed he wasn’t a stranger anymore… Plus, he was so easy to talk to, so interesting to get to know…. Everything between you two came easy. 

Like opening up to him, being a bit more vulnerable… 

“I’ve been slightly nervous all week,” you admitted, clutching your drink to you before chuckling softly. “– and not just about the lasagne faux pas…” 

“There was no need to be nervous. I thought we left all that behind on the first date,” Seokjin reassured, smiling warmly your way. 

You were sat together, turned to face one another. It was intimate and cosy. He had one leg lifted, the ankle resting on the knee of the other leg, and where his pants had ridden up, you could see an inch or so of his calf before it met the black cotton of his sock. For some reason, you found that very, very sexy. Maybe you had been single for far too long. 

“We did,” you agreed, hesitating slightly. “It’s just… I haven’t done anything like this in so long.” 

You didn’t even think you’d ever invited someone around for dinner before. You were still quite young when you found yourself in a relationship with Donghae so your dates before him had been very basic. Your dates with him hadn’t really classed as such just because you became official fairly quickly, and your dates after him, well, it was already known that they had been few and far between. 

“You already know we’re in the same boat,” he smiled before chuckling bashfully. “No, but really, when I asked you for dinner that day at the fate I was expecting you to turn me down.” 

“How come?”

He looked down at his drink, lifting a shoulder. “I thought you’d think that I was crossing a line… or maybe the spark I was feeling was all in my head and in reality you just found me really annoying.” 

That was cute. He’d been doubting himself. Human after all. Not that you’d ever thought he wasn’t. You still didn’t miss the opportunity to joke around though. “I mean, both can exist simultaneously.” He taking a sip of his mocktail when you replied so he ended up snorting into his glass, amused by your wit. 

A moment or so passed and Seokjin gazed at you, smiling softly. If he kept this up, you’d be a puddle on your parquet flooring. “So, tell me,” he hummed. “How did I luck out so good?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant. “How come an amazing person like you isn’t married or in a relationship?”

He must’ve seen the slight shock on your face and panicked instantly. “Is that a weird thing to ask? I feel like it is. I apologise.”

“No,” you insisted, sitting up a little straighter. He followed. “No, it’s not.” You wanted to open up to him. You really did. You just didn’t know where to start. Although, it was pretty simple. “I’ve been single for a while.” 

“How long?” Seokjin was instantly focused, attentive, noticing the change in your body language. 

“Three years. My last relationship didn’t end very well.” You paused, wondering if you should continue. But then… It had been a massive part of your life. No matter how much time had passed and no matter how okay you were now, it had still happened. And Seokjin, he had trusted you enough to open up about his divorce – even before you’d gone on your first date. You wanted to talk about it. You really did. 

“I found out my fiancé was cheating on me.”  

Seokjin’s eyes widened, unable to cloak his surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “It was rough getting over it. Took me a while, but it is what it is. It’s in the past now.” 

“Did it put you off dating?” 

You were pleasantly surprised to find it was actually easy to talk to Seokjin about this. Your mouth was opening before you had to think about it. “I mean, at first. I was still very much in love with him, even after he broke my heart. But I got over him and I started dating again – briefly – It just didn’t feel right.” You stopped to smile. “It’s been over a year and I can’t say I missed it… but you…” Nerves growing, you pushed them away. “You’ve changed that. I’m having fun.” 

Seokjin’s face lit up and he chuckled. “I did hit second date status after all.” 

“You did…” 

“So,” he leaned closer, a small smirk on his face. “You could say, hitting your car that day wasn’t actually my fault because it was supposed to happen.” 

You snorted as you laughed, head falling against the back of the couch. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

He made a sound. “But we wouldn’t have met otherwise.” 

“We would!” You exclaimed. “The parent-teacher meeting.” 

He blinked, feeling dumb. “Oh, yeah.” 

It wouldn’t have had the same effect, granted, but you would have become acquainted with one another regardless. “Would you have still liked me?” You asked without thinking, surprising yourself. 

“Yes,” he replied immediately. “I was instantly attracted to you after all, it’s just…” Instantly attracted? Definitely a charmer... “There would’ve been no way for me to get to know you like I did.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re really adamant that you had to reverse into my car to make this work, huh.”

He shrugged casually. “It was the only way.” 

You laughed quietly, finishing the last of your drink. Time was getting on, it was pretty late, Seokjin had already finished his, you watched him sit up to lean forward and place the glass on your coffee table. His shirt tightened across his shoulder blades and you could see his back muscles as he stretched. Oh.  

Settling back into the same position, he looked over at you and grinned. His teeth were perfect. Did this man have zero flaws? Why were you so whipped? It was embarrassing. 

“I had fun tonight,” you told him, trying to keep a lid on whatever was going on with you right now. 

He seemed pleased with that, nodding his head. “I’m happy to hear that you think I’m a fun person.” 

You scoffed, body falling closer to his. Your shoulders brushed together. Seokjin didn’t take his eyes off you. “Hm. I don’t think I said that.” 

“Hey, don’t be so mean.” He murmured, one side of his mouth quirking up. 

Like you couldn’t stop yourself, your hand reached for the collar of shirt. He had the top two buttons loose and your pinkie finger brushed against his collarbone. Sparks flew, but you tried to ignore them. “I thought you liked it when I was mean.” You teased, voice low. 

Seokjin hummed, his eyes still twinkled like they always did but there was something else to them, a depth that made you feel funny. He sunk closer to you. So close you could study the thick curve of his eyelashes, notice that both his eyelids were different. He really did have beautiful eyes. You could stare at them forever. 

Preoccupied, you slowly realised that he was watching you too, studying your features in the golden glow of the floor lamp that hovered over the couch. His lips parted, you heard them rather than saw it, but then your attention was on them again. Just like it had been earlier on in the night. He was staring at yours too as he spoke. “I wanted to kiss you last week.” 

You heartbeat quickened but you tried to keep cool. “You did kiss me.” You laughed. 

He sighed. “On the cheek.”  

You lightly tugged his collar, fingertips now brushing the skin of his chest. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted to do?”

You could feel his own heartbeat against your forearm that was pressed into him. It was definitely running a little faster than it was supposed to – stronger. “Yes, but…” He glanced up to your eyes. “I was just being polite. I wanted to kiss your lips.”

It felt like you were holding your breath. Maybe you were, you just couldn’t think straight. Time seemed to stretch out, but you knew what you wanted. So you went after it. Giving him a small smile, you replied. “Maybe I wanted that too.” 

He swallowed, voice so low now it was barely a murmur. “Is that an invitation?” His eyes bounced to your lips again, then back to your eyes as he asked permission. “Can I kiss you?”

You ever so slightly dragged your bottom lip beneath your teeth as you nodded, breath catching in your throat as Seokjin leaned forward and closed the distance between you. The hand in between your bodies moved to delicately hold the wrist of your arm against his chest, holding you there as his other hand reached for your jaw, angling your face to press a kiss to your mouth. His eyes were already closed so you followed. 

He hummed at the contact, his lips soft and warm and you let yourself sink. His actions were light at first, faint as he kept constant pressure, as if he was familiarising himself with the sensation. You couldn’t even let yourself think about how this was the first kiss you’d shared with someone for a very long time. All that was going through your mind was how good it felt to be touched like this by him. 

He readjusted the hand on your face, tucking some hair behind your ear to cup your cheek. You liked that. You liked it when he touched you, and he eased from your mouth completely before coming back with a firmer pressure. It was your turn to make a sound; a tiny gasp as your lips began to move together ever so slowly. He liked that, a hum of satisfaction vibrating against the soft skin of your lips. You clutched at his shirt, gathering the crisp cotton in your fist, that would surely turn it creased, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was too preoccupied with reaching for the glass you’d forgotten was hugged to your body by your free hand. 

He unclasped it from your fingers and had no choice but to break away from your mouth to put it next to his on the coffee table. You whined, attempting to tug him back to you, and he chuckled, taking a hold of one of your hands. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, leaning forward to place the cocktail glass down. 

And he was. 

This time he used both of his hands to grasp your face and dive back in. He was more confident this time, moving in such a way his lips pried yours open. You reached for his shoulders, grasping them to hold him closer and this time you both made noises – sweet, quiet ones that worked beautiful together as your lips moulded with gradual urgency. 

When your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers through his hair, he had to drag the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip, seeking entry. You met it with yours, tasting hints of pomegranate and lime with each wash of tongue. A hand of his slipped down to your side, stroking up and down the curve as if he couldn’t help but to touch you. He settled at your hip after a moment, the other splayed against the side of your neck, his thumb rolling small circles under your cheekbone. 

This was getting addictive. You could tell by the way you moaned softly against each warm, wet curl of his tongue. This was everything you’d imagined and more – because you had imagined it. Late and secretly at night when you were trying to drift off to sleep and thoughts of lasagne were banished… You were glad your first kiss was here, inside, on your couch, because this wasn’t something for the open, your knees wouldn’t have been able to hold you up. 

You could have kissed him forever, you mean, you definitely didn’t want it to stop but you pretty much had to. Breathing was a necessity, right? If you couldn’t breathe you wouldn’t be able to ever kiss Seokjin again and that would be absolutely awful… 

You did it the right way though – gradually. Seokjin slowed it right down, only hints of his tongue left as he hummed indulgently, like he was savouring your taste before he had to inevitably pull away. It made your insides jump around like crazy, hearing him enjoying himself, and you tried your best to come to when he started easing the pressure of his lips, pressing small, chaste kisses to them instead as you ultimately (but slowly) broke apart. 

You opened your eyes, blinking up at him, hands falling from his hair, aware you had become one with your cushions. You struggled to free yourself as he sat back and you watched him smile fondly at you. His breath was shaky – so was yours, and you were sure his hands trembled slightly as one reached up to scratch the back of his neck. His neck that was blotched with red, flushed, travelling to his cheeks. They were rosier than you’d ever seen them before. Your gut stirred. 

“I’ve been dreaming of that,” he told you, before making a face at himself. “Too cringey?” 

You giggled – it sounded foreign. “Just a bit.” But didn’t deter the fact you loved it. 

You warmed when you felt him squeeze your hip, realising his hand was still there and you reached for it, tangling your fingers with his. He pulled them to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly. His expression was thoughtful when he lowered your hands. “In all seriousness, thank you for giving me a chance, after well, you know, everything.”

You smiled, touched by his earnestness, but it was hard to keep a sane mind when his lips were as kiss bitten as they were – deep pink and glistening. You wanted to kiss his face off. 

“It’s no problem,” you quipped, as if you were doing him a favour. 

He chuckled tenderly, and luckily for you he was unable to stop himself from kissing you again. He reached forward, hooking a finger under your chin to press his mouth to yours softly. “I’d really love if we could keep on doing… this.” He murmured. 

“The dating or the kissing,” you grinned, stealing another kiss in the process. 

“Hm,” he contemplated. “Both preferably.” 

And then you were on one another again, eager once more. 

Although, you did manage to pull away briefly to tell him something, his mouth moving to the side of your face to kiss there instead as your hands dragged down his back. You were somehow able to get the words out – ones that made him laugh against your wet jaw. 

“I’m so glad you hit my car.” 

Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

[agirlwhoisaphantom]

Turning Page- Bucky Barnes x Reader

Turning Page- Bucky Barnes x Reader

a/n: This is a 3 part one shot. I wanted all parts to have their moment since there is going to be a bunch of fluff in them. Especially because they all take place at different times. This first part will be when you find out you are pregnant and you tell Bucky about it.

Words Count: 2300

Warnings: Fluff a lot of it. A hint of insecurity 

Summary: You have been feeling weird for the past couple of days. You decided to take a test and the results shocked you. Was telling Bucky about the results a great idea?

Hmm, the smell of freshly baked cookies surrounds you as you walk into the kitchen. Besides the smell of roses, your second favorite smell was the smell of homemade food. 

For the past three days, you haven’t felt the greatest. You had been vomiting, having random headaches, and you felt a very high fever. You didn’t think of it much. You must have been getting the cold or the flu.

You loved eating Chinese food, but for the past three days, whenever you wanted to eat it, you would immediately vomit it. You tried getting the food from different places, but it always led to the same results.

Searching your symptoms on the internet wasn’t the greatest idea, but you were just curious about what you might have.

Early signs of pregnancy

Signs that you might be Pregnant

Symptoms of the Flu

Those were your main results when you googled your symptoms. The one that made the most sense to you was that you might have the flu. Then it clicked to you. You and Bucky have never used protection, especially because you are on the pill. So you weren’t concerned about the lack of condoms. 

“Could I have been pregnant” “No, it can’t be” “what if I was? How will I tell Bucky?” your heart started to race faster and faster as your mind started to wonder if you were pregnant. You go through a roller coaster of emotions. You were excited, terrified, happy, sad, worried, every emotion in the book. Happy because you and Bucky have been talking about wanting to start your own little family. You were terrified because what if he didn’t want to have a kid this early? What would happen to Bucky? Would he quit? That was never something that popped up for the both of you.

Wanda walks into the room with a worried look on her face. “I don’t want to be that person, but I can hear your thoughts miles away. Is everything alright?” she takes a seat next to where you were sitting. She takes your hand and tries to comfort you. “I can go buy you a couple of tests if that brings your mind to ease.” you give her a small nod. She leans in forward to hug you. “I’ll be back. Wait right here and try to relax.” 

The moment she left the room, you go to the bathroom and start preparing for a bath. You stare at yourself in the mirror, looking at your lower stomach. You were able to see a small bump. You place your hand on your stomach. Now you were fantasizing, what if you were pregnant? Would it be a mini you or a mini James? 

You had the biggest smile at the thought that you might be carrying a baby in your stomach. 

You lower your body into the warm bath full of bubbles. You now felt relaxed. All you could focus on was the playlist that Bucky created for you, full of music that reminded him of you. The playlist went from 40’s music to present-day songs. Your mind wanders back to that day, where he was showing you the playlist he created for you.

You both were cuddling on the couch watching Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back. Your head was lying on his right shoulder and your arms wrapped around his bicep. Bucky looked confused watching the movie “so this is what you and Peter enjoy watching?” 

“Yes, this is a good movie, and if you don’t be quiet, I’m going to throw a handful of popcorn towards you” you giggled a little. You were serious. If he didn’t stay quiet, you were going to do that.

He turns his head, pressing his lips against your forehead. “Doll, I would like to see you try,” He whispers as he maintains his lips pressed on your skin. 

Without hesitation, you take a handful of popcorn and throw it to his face. He does the same thing and throws popcorn at you. At this point, you both forgot about the movie and focused on just throwing each other popcorn. There were shared laughs and smiles between the two of you.

Bucky moves to the floor, grabbing the pillow next to him, trying to protect himself. You grab the pillow next to you as well. 

Minutes pass by, and now the living room looked like a mess. It seemed like a popcorn machine has just exploded. The bowl that you and Bucky were getting popcorn was now empty.

You both were trying to catch your breath. From all the laughter you both had. Bucky gets back up and sits on the couch. He put his right arm around your shoulder. 

“Now, how are we going to watch the movie without popcorn?” you cross your arms and have a small frown on your face.

With his metal hand, he unwraps your arms and takes your left hand. He brings it up to his lips and softly kisses it “that sounds like a problem, doesn’t it doll?” he had a small smirk on his face.

You ignored him and snarky comment. It did make you giggle a little. 

Once the movie ended, Bucky reaches to his pocket and takes out his phone. “Doll, I have a surprise for you” his voice got small and a bit shaky. He was always nervous about giving you a present. He would always think that you wouldn’t like it.

He scratches his head, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to give this to you. It was something different it wasn’t the usual thing that he has given you. Such as flowers or food.

You notice how tense he was, so you place your hand on his cheek. You slowly move your thumb against his skin. “Baby, no matter what it is. I know I’m going to love it” you nodded briefly with a small smile on your face.

He takes a big gulp, but he was a bit more relaxed than he was a couple of minutes ago. “okay,” there is a small pause in between. He was unsure if he wanted to continue “Just to let you know Peter helped me create this since he knows more about this magic box than I do” he gave a brief giggle and hands you the phone “look for the app called Spotify, and there should be a playlist with your name on it.” 

You always found it cute that he never knew how the technology worked, but he was always willing to learn for you, as you scroll through the apps trying to find Spotify. The moment you opened the app, there it was the playlist made for you. The name of it was “songs that remind me of my angel.” You clicked on the playlist to see what songs it had. The playlist had over 100 songs.

Tears start falling down your cheeks. You were happy. You couldn’t believe that he had done this for you. 

Bucky had a concerned look on his face. “Doll, no, don’t start crying.” His voice was shaky, and he started to panic slowly. He intended never to make you cry.

You place both of your hands on his cheeks and pull him in for a kiss. As you both were kissing, you get on top of him, leaving no space in between the two of you. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer. 

You pull away for a moment. “Thank you, Bucky. I love it”

-----------------------------

You hear a knock on your door. “Hey, I’m back from the store with the tests” You sighed in relief. It was Wanda. 

You rapidly get out of the bathtub and grab a towel to wrap yourself in. “You can come in, Wanda.”

Wanda opens the door and places the tests on the countertop. She grabs a towel “turn around. I want to help you dry your hair” you listened to her and let her dry your hair. “I don’t know how you might feel, but one thing I will reassure you about is that no matter what the results may say. Bucky is always going to love you.” 

With what Wanda has just told you, it put your mind at ease. She was right. No matter what, he was always going to be there. You take Wanda’s hand “can you stay here with me while I take these?” you had a small smile on your face as she gives you a nod.

You put on your PJs. You didn’t want to stay in a towel anymore. Opening the box, you can feel your heart racing, a hundred beats a minute. 

The moment you took the test, you stared at it. You were waiting for the results to pop up. On the box, it said to wait for five minutes. To you, those five minutes felt like an eternity. You wanted to know, and you wanted to know now.

Positive.

Two dark blue lines, you started at those lines for a couple of minutes. Those minutes felt like they were hours. You wanted to make sure you weren’t delusional and that you saw those lines. The results on that little stick were positive. You were pregnant, something you thought wasn’t possible. But it happened, your heart full of joy and love. You were going to be a mom, and Bucky was going to be a dad. The little family you both, have dreamt for years is finally happening. 

Before telling Bucky about the news, you wanted to feel confident about the results. Lucky, the pregnancy test box that Wanda bought had two inside. You take a big breath before you take it, just in case if those results were negative. You didn’t want to your hopes up. You take the second test, and the same dark blue lines from earlier show up. Once again, your heart fills up with happiness, joy, but mainly love.

You couldn’t wait till Bucky came home. You were so excited to tell him. 

Wanda didn’t have to ask you about your results. She already knew, especially because you had the biggest smile on your face. 

Hours pass by, you were thinking about how you were going to tell him. “Should I just tell him the moment he walks in?” “no, that would catch him by surprise” “Should I-?” your thoughts were running wild. Before you knew it, the door was opening.

Bucky throws his bag onto the couch. He looked exhausted; it looked like he had a very long day. You run towards him and hug him tightly. “Woah, Woah, looks like someone missed me” He holds you and gently kisses your head. 

He grabs your hand and starts walking towards the direction where the couch was. He sits down and pats his thigh as he wants you to sit on his lap. The moment you sat down, he wraps his arms around you. “I’m glad that I’m finally holding my baby girl in my arms.” Whenever he would call you his baby girl, your cheeks would turn bright red with the biggest smile. “I can’t get enough of that beautiful smile of yours. Such a sweet smile that lights up your whole face” He places his hand on your cheek and pulls you in for a kiss. 

You lay your head on his shoulder. You were taking a big breath before you said anything. Once again, your heart was racing. “Bucky,” there was a small pause. You wanted to make sure you said the right words and that he would be able to hear you. “I’m pregnant.” 

Silence 

You could hear his heartbeat increase. You were unsure what face he had. You didn’t know what emotion he was portraying. All you could feel and hear is the sounds of his heartbeat dramatically increase. 

The silence lasted for minutes. “Oh no, did I do the wrong thing by telling him?” you thought. You hated the silence. Your stomach started twisting and turning.

Bucky takes a big breath and places his hand on your lower stomach. “are we-“ he pauses for a moment, his voice got small and shaky, “are we going to be parents?” He starts to slowly move his hand in circular motions on your stomach.

You left up to your head from his shoulder and looked at him. He had the biggest smile on his face, tears forming in his eyes. He was happy. He knew the answer you were going to say without saying a word. Just the look on your face said it all. 

Bucky places his hand behind your head, slowly running his fingers through your hair. He pulls you in, pressing his lips against yours. It felt like time has stopped for the both of you. All you could focus on was how soft he felt against your lips, how addictively he invaded all your senses. 

You both were kissing like there was no tomorrow and as if your lives were dependent on it. Bucky tongue slips inside your mouth, gentle but yet so demanding. Even though this wasn’t the first time he had done that, it always felt like it was. This was the type of kiss that melted you into his arms, every square inch of your body dissolves into his. Moving your hand from his neck to his hair, you grip his hair, pulling him closer. 

Without breaking the kiss, he pushes you gently onto the couch. Now you were lying down. Meanwhile, he was on top of you. He pulled away for a moment and had the cutest smile on his face “Baby girl. We are going to be parents” you give him that same smile and give him a small nod.