#I’m still very much processing as I go oof

[leonsliga]

https://x.com/iMiaSanMia/status/1711361038514327611?s=20

there's just no way Leon condones abuse or excuses it cuz "friendship" right? he personally must have some reason to believe Boateng is innocent. There's just no way, Leon, who openly stands up, bravely, against everything wrong in the world, without hesitation, excuses Boateng's behaviour. there's no way. my morals and ethics feel triggered. cuz I don't see a reason yet, not based on his actions and what he's done for the world and the world of football, to stop liking him. idk. What do you think bri?

TW: brief mentions of abuse (i.e. context on the Boateng situation)

I had a feeling the press was gonna ask Leon for his take on the Boateng situation eventually, and truth be told, I'm left feeling a lot like how you described: confused, frustrated, and just all around off. I won't lie, I love Leon; I'm a huge fan of his, that's no secret, and I'm aware that that makes me incredibly biased. That said, his comments left a really bad taste in my mouth.

Ever since the Boateng trial (and even before that), I've found their friendship a really tough pill to swallow. After everything, I struggle to comprehend how he can just...ignore all of that? I mean, surely he's heard all the news surrounding the man. Surely he knows Boateng was convicted. Leon's many things, but he's not oblivious and he's not stupid. It's hard not to feel like he’s making himself out to be a hypocrite, considering everything he stands for and everything he positions himself so clearly against. Maybe he knows something we don't or holds beliefs behind the scenes that we don't know about...I don't know. But I've made a promise to myself in writing this blog that I wouldn't pretend to have the answers when I don't. And I won't pretend. I have no answers. I can speculate, but I have zero clue what was going on in Leon's head when he made these comments, no matter how much I may wish I did.

My morals and ethics feel triggered too, if I'm honest. It's hard for them not to. I feel hurt and I hate that I feel that way, considering he's a man I've never met. I just...I'm really struggling to wrap my head around the possibility that Leon Goretzka, the man who's always advocated strongly for women's rights, could still be friends with a man found guilty of assaulting his girlfriend. I want to believe he's better than that. I get that as human beings we can be prone to blind spots in our values and judgment, but this is a pretty glaring blind spot if it’s true…I think we can all agree. I'm trying my best to process this, but it's hard to process his comments when we don't know what he was thinking when he said them. Pretty much the only context we had going into this was that he and Boateng were close at some point. How close are they now? It's hard to tell, but these comments lead me to assume they're still, at the very least, cordial with one another. I guess it's good he stated that in the end, he respects the club's decision, and recognizes it was a decision they had to make, but it doesn't really do anything to soften the blow of anything he said prior to that.

To clarify, just because I'm a Leon-focused blog doesn't mean I agree with what Leon said. I wouldn't be happy if Boateng had rejoined the club. I think even considering allowing Boateng to play for the club as Bayern did, even though he was tried and found guilty, is morally reprehensible. I'm just struggling with Leon's statement a lot as a fan of his and I need to write out my thoughts to process things. He's been my comfort person for a long time now, and so I'm finding it really hard to define where I stand beyond fundamentally disagreeing with his comments (and possible support?) towards Boateng.

We play a dangerous game when we throw our support to footballers, I know that. In our unconditional appreciation of them, they can turn around and let us down. And I won't lie, I do feel let down. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I think it's more than ok to feel that way, just like I think it's ok that it'll take us time to process what happened and come to our own conclusions. We care about him, even if it is just a parasocial relationship, and that's not nothing. I can tell you that at the moment, I feel profoundly disappointed, no matter how hard I try to understand—the way we all try to understand when people we support let us down in some way. I want answers that I know I probably won't ever get.

So yeah. There's my very long-winded non-answer. I'm sorry...I wish I had more definitive thoughts on the matter, apart from the initial hurt and disappointment. But this is all I have for now. I’d love to hear what you guys think, but please be kind, ok?

[indefiniteavatar]

So basically, in a case about him shoving money at someone so they shut up about him. . .he can’t shut the fuck up himself. I would say something clever and funny here, except the sad part is that this is just so normal in current politics that it’s just. . .not hilariously absurd behavior anymore? Not to say that it’s not absurd - it is beyond such, but it is just. . . predictable, I suppose.

I guess this is how I feel about politics lately? Either I get mad at everything or I try to laugh at everything and normally that works because politicians usually aren’t so tragically stupid so very often, but now I just kinda have to chuckle at the particularly eyeroll worthy things like this, and try to ignore everything else or my brain will explode.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

Finally Getting Help (prt 5)

Masterpost

It took a little convincing to get Jazz to come back with them, but she didn’t want to stay with Constantine because he ‘smelled like cigarettes and generational trauma’ and she couldn’t stay alone. So in the end she agreed to come back to Wayne manor with the promise that Tim would help walk her through the process of getting emancipated since he’d already done it before. Dick informed Agent A they’d be having another new person for dinner and asked Jazz if she had any allergies, which was also a no. Apparently the Fentons tended to be a very hearty family. 

They took the jet back, dropping Jazz off at the manor before parking in the batcave and changing into civics as quickly as they could so they could go greet her. Before they could Alfred sent a video on the family group chat. The video started with Danny pacing in the foye, then the door opened and Jazz hesitantly let herself in only to be greeted by a battering ram of Brother hurtling towards her. 

She managed to get her arms up in time to catch Danny with an Oof before they just clung to each other. Awww, why weren’t any of Dick’s siblings like that with him?! Something to bully them about later.

—----

“What happened?” Danny whispered against Jazz’s chest. 

“The Justice League finally stepped up and dealt with it. Locked the portal, took away mom and dad and Vlad, I don’t know what will happen with any of them but it’s not our fault whatever it is. It’s not our responsibility or our problem, I’m going to focus on university and you’re going to focus on keeping yourself and the babies healthy and safe.” She said softly, feeling Danny wince.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the babies, I just didn’t know how too,” Danny said, and Jazz could feel how he tensed, expecting her to be angry with him.

“It’s okay little brother, I understand. That was a lot to process, I’m sure you would have told me soon,” She murmured and he nodded. “Danny, did he… did he rape you?” Jasmine forced herself to ask softly. She didn’t think so, but she just needed to know.

“No, he stole my DNA and tried to clone me. But it didn’t work and Danielle and the other clones were melting. I don’t know how many he tried but I can’t imagine he started in batches of ten. I could only save two, Daniella and one of the boys. It was awful. I don’t know how long they’ll need to stay inside me to fully develop but they can take all the time they need. I can feel them inside me, I can feel their love. I love them too, they’re my babies Jazz, I know I’m young but…”

“You’re going to be a great parent Danny,” Jazz promised softly, giving him a gentle squeeze. “And I’m going to be the best aunt and babysitter you could ask for.”

She didn’t realize he was crying until his laugh came out audibly wet. “I’m sure you will. Thank you Jazz.”

“No problem Danny. What about the Wayne’s, you trust them? You think you’ll be okay here? I’ll going to Gotham U so I’ll be close. I’d like to work at Arkham anyway.”

“Ya, they seem good, I’ll be fine here Jazz. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll always worry about you little brother,” Jazz said softly and Danny laughed again, trying to wipe his face as subtly as he could before he pulled back and finally let go.

Alfred cleared his throat delicately to remind them he was still there, though Jazz was glad he hadn’t interrupted their moment. “Dinner is ready when you are Master Danny, Miss Jazz,” he said with a nod and disappeared back down the hall towards the dining room.

“Well I’m starving, I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast!” Jazz said as she started to steer them both after Alfred.

“I’m pretty much always hungry,” Danny admitted with a chuckle. “The little ones take a lot of energy and I need to replace it somehow I goes,” He said touching his stomach in a way she now realized he’d been doing a lot. How had she missed that?

“Well you eat as much as you need to, and any cravings too. They probably have nutrients you and the baby need. You should see a doctor too. I know you probably went to see Frostbite already but you’re still half human and if they’re cloned from you so are the babies. Ask Bruce about a doctor that you can trust.”

“I will, I promise. You’re right, I really do want the babies to be okay and with what you said about the Justice League doing their job I have a feeling my existence won’t be illegal for much longer.” Walking into the dining room just in time for the family to overhear the last of that conversation. 

“Definitely not,” Bruce said firmly. “I know for a fact Martian Manhunter is absolutely furious hearing they did something like this to another sentient species just because they weren’t human.”

“You know Martian Manhunter!?” Danny said with literal stars in his eyes. 

“Oh here we go,” Jazz said with fond exasperation.

“Yes?” Bruce said, he hadn’t meant it like a question but he was just surprised, and a little worried, there was no way Danny would be prejudiced right?

“Oh my god can I meet him?! He’s been my favourite hero for ever! He’s from SPACE! I love space! I want to know everything he knows about space, and about Mars! I’ve never been to space! Well I’ve flown to the moon a couple of times but I couldn’t go further and be back in time for school.”

He had started floating off the ground as he enthused about space, with fond exasperation Jazz grabbed the back of Danny’s shirt and tugged him back down into a seat at the dining room table. It was like Peter Pan with the joy lifting him up, and his excitement was both adorable and infectious. It was so good to see him happy. 

While he was talking food had been being passed around, and Damian, who was sitting on Danny’s other side from Jazz, had been heaping his plate while the older boy was distracted. It was sweet to see him being… caring to another person, he was even putting some meat on Danny’s plate with an odd stubborn set to his jaw. He almost looked aggressive but that was really just his determined face. Damian had accepted Danny in record time, which was a little surprising but it also made sense, they all knew Damian really loved caring for people, and children, and with Danny carrying babies no doubt Damian was already staking his claim on the role of favoured uncle. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Bruce promised with a little smile. He was sure J’onn would be happy to meet Danny so it wouldn’t actually be hard. 

“Thank you!” Danny cheered, only Jazz’s grip on his shirt keeping him from leaping back into the air. 

“Eat,” Damian reminded, shoving a fork into Danny’s open hand. “Pennyworth says you were too worried to eat much at lunch and you need the nutrients!”

“Aww thank you ghostling,” Danny cooed, roughling Damian’s hair who scowled and ducked away, but didn’t lash out At All! Huh apparently pregnancy was a shield against Damian’s aggression.

Danny did start to eat though, and to keep him on track the family started talking with each other. It seemed to make him more comfortable, if things were quiet he felt the need to fill the space instead of filling his mouth. It was honestly sort of nice, even Damian shared a bit more than he usually would have about school, and about his art, then started telling Danny in particular about his animals. Danny hadn’t met them yet after all and he needed to know everything! Which ones were friendly, how to appropriately handle any of them, what treats they could have. 

The way Danny lit up and started questioning Damian about his animals was honestly a little startling, but it couldn’t be more clear that he was genuinely enthusiastic and Damian was preening. Rarely did he get such an attentive listening ear when talking about his pets, especially since everyone who had been in the family for a while had heard similar rants so many times they’d started to tune them out. 

It was a testament to Damian’s self control that he insisted Danny finish his dinner before dragging him away from the table to go show him all the various animals he had collected over the years. Danny laughed as Damian tugged on him and waved back at the family, joking about being kidnapped again (which, worrying) but he didn’t seem to mind.

“It’s good to see someone with such a healthy and well supported obsession,” Jazz said with a little smile, watching after her little brother and Damian rush off. “Oh!” She said, snapping her fingers, “I should explain all that for you! If you’re going to take care of Danny you’ll need a crash course in Ghosts and Liminality. I uhh, I have a powerpoint?” She said, looking embarrassed and hopeful as she pulled a USB out of her pocket.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, Miss. I’ll set up the projector in the family room,” Alfred said as he whisked the last of the dishes away. 

“Oh! Thank you Alfred. Can I help at all?” Jasmine asked, already getting up from the table so she could follow.

“Nonsense, you’re a guest and you had a very long day already. I’ll set it up, and then fix a room for you next Master Danny’s for tonight,” Alfred said briskly, shooing her back into the dining room room with the family. 

She looked like she was about to argue but she thought better of it. “Alfred is really the one in charge around here and we all know it,” Dick commented to her with a little smile. “No use arguing with him, and he usually knows best anyway.”

“Well, alright if you say so,” Jazz said with a little smile and tension slowly eased from her shoulders. When was the last time she got to relax? Having to worry about her brother and no one really taking care of the, how long had she been googling “how to stitch up a wound’, ‘how to help a 14 year old with ADHD study’, and various other things to try and care for a boy only two years younger than her. 

“So I know you mentioned to Nightwing that you wanted to go to Gotham U? I don’t know how your grades are,” (a lie, they knew she was a genius and her grades were excellent), “But the Wayne family sponsors many scholarships and if you don’t qualify for any of those we would be happy to just pay for your schooling. What would you like to study?” Bruce asked 

“I want to study psychology!” Jazz said, lighting up instantly. “That’s what I’ve wanted to study since I was seven. I want to be a psychologist, and I’d like to intern at Arkham. I know it’s a dangerous place, but I’m tougher than I look and I have Danny on speed dial so I’ll be fine.”

Well at least she had thought about the danger, and tougher then she looked meant something because she already looked plenty touch. “Well, I know Arkham can always use good doctors,” Bruce chuckled. “Just try not to become the next Harley Quinn,” He said it like a joke but he did mean it, the last thing Gotham needed was another evil genius. 

“Don’t worry, she lacked grounding connections due to her upbringing. I’ll have Danny, and his babies, and I’ll make friends outside of the hospital. As long as nothing happens to Danny I’m sure I’ll be fine, just like as long as nothing happens to me, or the other people he loves, Danny will be fine.”

It sounded like a warning, and it probably was, but they already knew that. Zatana had warned them that Danny could be dangerous. He would need grounding connections, but everyone did, and the Waynes already knew they were going to be family. On their own any of the Bat clan knew they could go off the deep end, a lot of them had even seen the futures with evil versions of themselves but with the other to care for and about, it kept them on the right track… at least mostly.

Next

[xxxsharpcheddar]

I'm gathering that he betrayed your trust. *sigh* I'm so sorry. It's genuinely saddening. Of course it doesn't affect anyone more than you (and possibly him if he holds the capacity to understand what he's lost), but it feels sad for all of us, albeit in a far smaller, but still significant way. I keep seeing this exact pattern play out recently.

(The astrology shows that it's a massive time for hidden structures that aren't serving you & things you may feel are solid but actually have rotting foundations to be forcibly cleared from your life: due to Pluto finally leaving Capricorn and not returning for the next 200ish years.)

The reason why it's so saddening is because it makes us disconnect in order to protect ourselves, when all we want is connection. It's this disparity that causes the discomfort of sadness, the feeling of being pulled apart.

We're a very small community (FFA+BHM) spread across continents, and your relationship was a symbol of hope for many of us. Not the only, but certainly one of the few. And here I am angry and sick to my stomach that you got treated this way by a member of our own tiny little community. I'm sure it's made you want to disengage massively, I'm sure it's made others more wary and guarded, and I'm also sure that's not how any of us want us to feel in this space.

It sucks and I'm sorry. I don't really know what else to say, aside from can we all please try to do better for each other? Be open, be honest, be brave. But that feels like empty advice that no one wants to listen to.

Les, I hope you're getting all the support and love and kindness you need, so you can heal super quick. ❤️ In the meantime, I ask rhetorically: guys, what the fuck??

Yes. It was calculated. He’s a very intelligent person. He was the perfect boyfriend on paper. There were no red flags in the ways he treated me. Thank god for intuition.

Oof “it makes us disconnect when all we want is connection.” I felt that.

I honestly felt so much pride and joy sharing our relationship here because I thought what we had was rare and beautiful. My normie friends were fooled by him too. I thought we were crushing it on the personal front and the fetish front. He was my first experience with this community. He exploited my trust in such a large scale it’s hard to come back here. It’s hard to look at other couples thinking that’s what we had. It’s hard to look at the most seemingly insignificant things because it brings me back. I keep dreaming he’s betrayed me in different ways and I’m begging for him back. I thought we could be a pinnacle of hope for people. I thought I found someone who loved me and shared the fetish - fucking hole in one!

I couldn’t have been more wrong. I hope my experience can help prevent someone from going through this. I never should have let my walls down so soon.

Thank you for sending this. I know my response is muddled with venting, but thank you. Let’s do better. Let’s work on ourselves before we engage with others. Let’s unpack our shit before we hurt people in the process. Let’s heal ourselves so we can find meaningful and true connection.

Also if you’re comfortable with it could you DM me the astrological snippet?

[lil-vibes]

Hi! Sorry for notification spamming you but wanted to tell you that your TROD tags made me lol, I LOVE your art so much and I’m interested in your AU too. Anyway, love your blog!

P.S. maybe I missed it but you said somewhere that your Narinder was pretty messed up for a few years post revival. Could you give some more details on that? Did he try to hurt them? Who had to take care of him, the lamb? What’s been the downstream effects? Basically, how is this cat still messed up lol.

dont be! everytime i get a notification i go yuppiee!!! im glad you enjoy my art :DD

okay okay its prime yap time under the cut oof i love my fucked up cat sm

Lambert, mainly, took care of him! They made sure that every comfort he needed was provided and were worried out of their mind the entire time. Their disciples helped watch over Narinder when he was unconscious, just so he wouldn't bolt the moment he awoke, and Witness Allocer stitched some of his wound and prepared a special painkiller blend for him. (in my au the high priests, aka the mini bosses, and the witnesses were very close to the bishops! Allocer made the same painkillers for Shamura as well.)

Okay so obviously his wrists and ankles were pretty fucked up from being chained for a thousand years and he's got a lot of internal damage as well bc some of the chains went through him (og Stychu hc that I adopted bc it's so good). Also just general wounds from the final fight and the unfathomable pain of shrinking down from his godly form.

Upon being spared, he did attack them in a post battle adrenaline and hate fueled delirium, right on the indoctrination stone and not only broke his arm (bc he put too much weight on it), but probably gave himself a heavy concussions by slamming his head on said stone seconds after the break happened lmao. After waking up in,,, just a Haze of agony he tried to get up and run away bc he was scared that the lamb would just keep him existing in this special Purgatory and shattered his opposite calf so there's that as well. Unlucky tbh

He bleeds like,,, constantly. All of the time, for literal years on end. From his eyes mostly, but also nose and ears and he throws up ichor a lot in the beginning as well bc his body is adjusting rapidly to being smaller and there's just No Space for the ichor to go, other than out. He’s constantly exhausted and spends a lot of time sleeping, and is very frail physically, if snapping two bones by simply putting weight on them didn't make it obvious enough lol

All and all not a great shape to be in, but! His wounds aren't actually what caused him to be bedridden for so long. It was the fact that he no longer saw himself as a god while still being one and suffering injuries befitting of one!

His body/the Red Crown isn't healing him as much as it’s literally regenerating parts of itself while he suffers everything that comes with that, alongside being out of the Veil/Gateway for the first time in forever and emotionally dealing with the deaths of his acolytes and the supposed betrayal of the one he allowed himself to trust after his family. In fact, Narinder barely heals at all for a while bc he was just mentally stopping the process. And also unconscious for a lot of it.

The other big reason is that god hearts are a great power source, but his heart has been in Lambert's chest since Silk Cradle. So he is Struggling ™ but he’d actually rather die than take his heart back he’s a simp like that smh

After he inevitably breaks and he and Lambert finally talk, he gradually starts seeing himself as a person again and his healing process gets easier. He still has chronic pain for his joints but eventually everything else heals alright :3

On a side note, his siblings bleed excessively and are disoriented for the first couple of days but are ultimately fine within the week. They are kind of horrified to learn that their brother is STILL struggling with the side effects of his imprisonment

[rafedaddy01]

Pt1

Notes: here is the long awaited pt2, I’m sorry it took so long. I’ve been active but I haven’t had the chance to sit down and write this until now. Ps. I didn’t double check for spelling errors so if you see any just 🤫

Last night was strange. I try to push the embarrassing thoughts from invading my mind as i stir in bed, the sun coming up and painting the room.

Our exchange was awkward if anything more. he just eyed me up and down and smirked as i burst out of the room and shut the door. i slid down onto the floor and just sat there for a minute trying to process what i just saw.

Ive never been with a boy let alone seen one naked. Especially one that looks like THAT!

oof, i knew rafe cameron would be good looking but i expected him to look like all the rich, silver-spoon, snobs ive met. But no. he was god like. His hair was slicked back and his eyes roamed my body from the mirror dangerously, i could see the blue in them from where i was standing and they were mesmerizing. His facial features are sculpted to perfection and his abs. Oh. My. God.

and then there was his -dick- gross i dont like that word, but there it was. just staring at me. ive never seen one, besides in porn. Im not a prude i know what sex is and yes i indulge in my own sexual pleasure, but ive never actually seen one in person beofre, but if they all look like that then sign me up!

I groan as my alarm rings at 6am sharp. I always get up early because i like the morning peace. back home i would climb the roof of our manor and watch as the sun rose. it was my own private meditation and helped ease some of the stress my parents enforced on me as a 18 year old.

I walk to the bathroom rubbing my eyes and yawning, i dont expect anyone to be up at this time and i want to relax in the shower.

"Oh my god! dont you ever lock the door?" i say as i take a step back and shut the door. I could hear his deep laugh from the other side as he walked up an dopened the door. "dont worry, pretty girl, im all dressed this time" i could feel his smirk even though my hands were still covering my eyes.

i let them fall and hes right hes very much clothed. shame, wait what am i thinking! I take him in, hes wearing a bright orange shirt that as small white stripes on it and cargo shorts, his hair is slicked back with gel like last night, oh god last night. my eyes shift down to his crotch. is he.. hard?' "see something you like pretty girl?" he cocks an eyebrow at me as he leans on the door frame. "i sure do" he says smugly

oh shoots, i forgot im still wearing my sleepwear, its a black lacy bralette and matching panties, i dont like sleeping with clothes on it gets too hot. im instantly aware of how exposed i am and rush for a hoodie from my luggage, it wont cover much but it drops to just above my thighs and its better than nothing "sorry" i murmur, "dont be, its only fair i see you naked now" he says as he walks into my room and exits through my bedroom door.

"see you at breakfast? shame i missed dinner last night, i was looking forward to meeting you miss Morales" he stops in the doorway and says this before leaving

i cant help but blush. is rafe flirting with me?

i shake it off and go back to my morning routine, i take a shower and wash myself with the same cedarwood and ginger shampoo i did last night and put on some baggy jeans and hoodie as i make my way to breakfast.

"good morning Avery" ward says as they all sit in the same seats from last night, except rafe is here and his seat is right next to mine. fuck.

"you havent met rafe yet, our eldest" ward syas as i take a seat next to him "oh weve met dad" rafe answers as he smiles at me

"good, youll be showing her around school next week, ive already arranged it and youll have all the same classes. I want her to feel welcomed in this town rafe, her father is an important man and were proud to be helping the Morales's" ward explains.

shit i completly forgot about school. high school. senior year. New people, rich pricks and bitchy girls. I am so not ready.

"we still on for today?' i ask sarah as we eat our pancakes. "yes!' she says excitedly

"whats today" rafe asks

sarah rolls her eyes and i can sense the tension between the two, they do not like each other thats for sure

"im showing avery around the island and introducing her to some friends." sarah says

rafe scoffs "you call those dirty pouges friends" he says crossing his arms over his chest "i dont know why you hangout with them sarah" he snaps at her "because their good people rafe, something you dont know how to be" she slightly yells "kids!' ward warns. they both grumble as rafe pushes his seat back and storms off, breakfast barely touched. wheezie sits there like nothing just happened and sips her juice. shit this family is a little crazy, theres definatly more to their story.

After breakfast me and sarah head into town on some bikes, its not a long ride and we reach a restaurant type of building. "kie" sarah says as she walks up to a tan skinned girl with curly hair whose smile lights up the whole room "this isavery, shes staying with us for a while" there it is again, a while, i sure hope not. "nice to meet you" i say extending my hand, kie pushing it away and brings me in to a tight bear hug, i do not like being touched but i let it slide its oddly comforting. "im kie or kiara" she explains.

we spend some time chatting and kie explains that this restaurant is her parents and she helps run it. we get to know each other a little more and then sarah decides to introduce me to the rest of her gang.

we pull up to a cheatue house in kies car and exit. "hey, wasss up kook queen" a boys voice beams as he brings sarah in to a tight hug. hes cute, in a boy next door kind of way, his features are pretty and its not my type but his charming personality is interesting, ingiging almsot. "Im JJ" he bows to me and takes a hand kissing the top of it "Avery" i giggle at his antics and he winks. "this is John B and Pope" sarah says as we walk up furtuer to the house and there are two boys sitting drinking beers. "sup" they say as i walk up.

"so what brings you to a shithole like this" John B asks, he has his arm around sarah, they are clearly cozy. "Im orginially from California, a small town Nevada City, my dad opened one of the banks there and its gradually increased and become nationwide so we moved here for business purposes but im staying with the camerons until my parents settle some business back in cali" i explain

"so your a kook? shame" jj speaks my eyebrows scrunch as i look at sarah "whats a kook?" i ask. they all laugh as if im some stupid little girl, "a kook is those who live on the fancy side of town, hangout at the country club and spend daddys money, like rafe" he looks over to sarah "no offense, princess" "none taken" she laughs as she drinks her beer. "and pouges" pope speaks up, finally, "are us. the low lifes, who have to work two jobs to have a stable life and survive" he says. the group goes quiet and its odd. they have names for the groups in the town, it all seems like its straight out a movie and theres a rivalry between the two, its obvious. the way jj described the kooks with such hatred.

"but stick with us baby girl and well teach you the right way" jj says slinging an arm around me and dangling a beer in front of me

for the third time, i do not like being touched, but theres a calming in his presence, its not like rafe who excites and frightens me at the same time.

"count me in!" i beam as i take the beer from him and crack it open. tilting my head back and gulping down the liquid "thats it! woo!" jj shouts as he stands up and does the tarzan pose and hits his chest "P4L" they all chant as jj down his beer.

the rest of the day was spent with the pouges as they call themselves and me and and sarah go back home towards the evening

"did you two have fun" rafe asks as we pass him outside. hes leaning on the door frame with a smug smirk on his face "dont start rafe" she says as she walks past him "i told dad about your little adventure today, hes not happy" rafe says smiling as he eyes me down "really rafe, your such a dick" sarah pouts as she runs inside. he eyes me one more time before walking past me and inside

i dont know what it is about rafe but he intriging, its like something is pulling me in towards him. the way he stares at me makes my knees weak and my hurt beat faster. i realize the shampoo i use is his as his smells wafts off him when he walks by "oh by the way Avery, i like when you use my shampoo. it smells good on you" he stops in the doorway behind me and takes a deep inhale of my black locks

what am i gonna do with him, hes very straight forward and my body craves him in a way that ive never experienced, its dangerous and exhilarating all in one.

i head back to my room and pass by the study, i hear ward an sarah arguing. "this i important sarah! you cant ruin this for us. this is business and taking her on the cut can put her in serious danger. stop hanging out with those dirty pogues and get your head out of the gutter!" ward shouts "whatever dad, theyll always be mor of a family then you, and maybe she fits in with us!" sarah shouts back then theres a slam of the front door and sarahs gone

i take a deep breath as i head back up the stairs and into my room. what does he mean i could get hurt? what is nobody telling me? where are my parents and what the fuck is going on?

@f4ll-for-you @v21sstuff @rafeysworldim19 @baby19sthings @eventualoptimism @drewstarkeysbae @sevenwivesofrafecameron @rxfecameronsslut @findapenny @r1vrsefx

[desultory-novice]

I recently found out that “weekend Susie” is a mistranslation and it’s actually called “susie on vacation” in jpn. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be Susie in the future like Manager Magolor..any ideas on why shes missing her hairclip and the “Secretary” title she always has in jpn? Susie is so hard to figure out..like how she only smiles three times in the entirety of robobot (once when she takes the program controller and twice when singing the noble haltmann but ONLY when saying the words father in jpn) so I’m curious on what your thoughts are on her (and unfortunately has the worst localization ever…i had to look at the robobot translations from @/kaialone on tumblr) sorry for rambling but shes so interesting to me and it’s a bit sad seeing how a lot of the details she has in characterization never get talked about

Anon...Did you somehow know I've been replaying Robobot in Japanese?! And it's basically strengthened my confirmation that some people - though less than before - are a bit too harsh and/or restrictive in their takes on both Susie and her father. 

That said, I do I try to give people room to "safely hate" these fictional characters as, for a lot of people, it may be one of their only ways of processing a gross problem that affects the real world/so much of history that they can't do much about.

But I love the silly/tragic Haltmann family. I'm sympathetic and even semi-defensive towards 'em. Which is why I'm happy to answer any good faith Haltmann asks.

Ahem! Also, before I get into it, I wanted to say that technically "Weekend Susie" vs "Susie on Vacation" is not a mistranslation per se.

What it IS is a localization.

休日 can mean "vacation," yes. When you break down the kanji, literally it is made up of the words "rest day." So it can also be just about any day when you're not working/not at school/not busy.

For most of western civilization (not me because I'm a contractor XD ) the weekends are people's "rest days." To read 休日 as "weekend" might not even be that much of a stretch/localization!

Probably explains the lack of "secretary" title. She's literally not on the clock! As for the hairclip, who can say...? Similar reasons? I know in Susie's case, it's sentimental, though hairpins in Japan often have this association with studiousness/"time to get serious" so removing it is an easy indicator "She's allowing herself time to be silly!"

I do like to imagine that this is a post-canon Susie though. That girl deserves something nice after her trauma...

Anyway, reminder that post-FL, the localizers have been working more closely with the Japanese team to create a more accurate translation for us. I know the wounds from PR's rough translation (and SA's fast-and-loose in weird places one) still hurt, oof, but the Kirby series is getting better about its translations!!

Actually... you know... there's not THAT many cutscenes...

Maybe I will make my own "If they'd hired Dess to translate Planet Robobot" translation of the game? I've already threatened several times to do a full translation of "The Noble Haltmann" with all references/metaphors intact...

But yes! Speaking of how Susie uses her emotions, I was so moved by something in her first meeting with Kirby, I actually wrote about it! And I'm going to share it here, because you might find it interesting~

-

So, I had my eyes peeled for any interesting bits of characterization left behind on the cutting room floor. Immediately, I was amused by how politely Susie talks to Kirby in the beginning. She doesn't really "talk down to him" or insult his intelligence in the slightest. (One could argue that it's a false business politeness, of course. Although she only breaks that in like, the second to last cutscene) Any dismissal of him feels very "company-mandated." (And the company is run by a murderous computer but leaving that aside...)

She gently praises how beautiful the water and the air on this planet is and that's when something... starts to change in her...

Susie gets impossibly sad. And her attitude changes COMPLETELY.

I stopped for a second reading this. "Hold on. What? Why does she lose her cool HERE? Is this some indication that the place she and her dad used to live on was a really poor planet without clean air and drinking water?" And heck, maybe that is the case!

But something else struck me about her line:

"...You don't even know the value of what you have..."

It's not the snooty we-know-better-than-you "misappropriation of resources" that is triggering her. It is having something precious right next to you and you don't even recognize it.

It's about her dad. Right from the beginning.

She can't NOT talk about it. It affects all her actions. Maybe another reason while I feel like it's better to judge Susie on a whole than any one individual action she takes, because (like Magolor, oops oops oops) she is masking her intentions alllll the time.

Also, omg, I know some people are still sensitive about the Mechaknight thing but that is PEAK grim humor in Japanese! It is treated way too cold and business-like in English, imo.

In Japanese, she starts to describe him exactly like she's telling her bestie that she just met the man of her dreams and then the WHAM line: "So, I gave him a full-body modification!"

Yes, it's unhinged. But it's also wonderful. (She's so Eggman-core.)

[aro-geo-turtle]

OH MY GOD I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS DROPPING TODAY I THOUGHT IT WASNT COMING FOR ANOTHER WEEK AT LEAST

SCREW YOU SLEEP SCHEDULE ITS MALEVOLENT PART 41 TIME

Omg I’m so scared I’m so fucking scared

Arthur screaming at Kayne, what a beginning

Divorce time hehehe…ow

John baby 😭😭😭😭 all is forgiven on my front!!! I love you! Ahhhhhhh I think he’s finally airing out a bunch of stuff that’s been building up inside for a while. Owwwww

I wonder if projecting again is going to be as easy as they’re assuming it’s going to be. It was kinda a heat of battle thing. Either way, the physical toll on Arthur is a good cost to balance it out story wise

This is why John and Arthur work so well together, they fight but in the process they get all their feelings out there and communicated. They don’t let secrets and resentments fester without confronting them

And then they pack their shit up and work together, even when still angry. John’s voice when he tells Arthur that it’s ok 😭 because describing surroundings, looking for shelter and directing Arthur on how to get there is familiar territory, he knows how to do that and do it well so it’s all going to be ok now 😭

Jfbdjdb Arthur reaching for a light switch. Yeah this is going to take some adjustment

Aaaaand a monster already, yay! …wait a second. Jfbjdbdbfbdbdbb omg. An owl!! It’s the bathroom mirror all over again

John is finally able to openly talk about his time in the dark world 🥺

But also Arthur telling him he gets its a hard topic and he doesn’t have to when he’s not ready 🥺 and what we were all thinking, that he would have forgiven John for the deal

PET OWL PET OWL. Come on they deserve it! And I did not expect Arthur to be a huge owl nerd lol that’s so unexpected and wonderful

Welcome Alexander the Owl to the party! I’m so happy about this.

Spooky claustrophobic crack already, huh? Wonderful. S4 was a reprieve from the caves and it couldn’t possibly last any longer. And of course it looks like a mouth. Why not.

Ok writing down this broach description cause it’ll probably be important or metaphorical later: two gazelles, the baby escapes while the parent is eaten by a lion, angry snake in a tree in the background. Weird. A snake in a tree immediately makes me think garden of eden symbolism…

Please don’t enter the spooky crack guys.

No you’re going to fall off the ladder you guys fall down every hole and break every staircase/ladder you go on yep yep that’s exactly what I meant.

Omg letters. They’re going to find Oscar’s letter oh gosh I’m going to cry noooo Oscar’s letter was ruined????

They didn’t lose the gun for once??? Damn. And this is going to be far more advanced weapons tech than this era, this could be super helpful!

Wait Oscar’s letter??? It’s ok??? And they remember him???

Into the crack we go! Damn they’re both getting poetic now

These two spend far too much time in caves for a claustrophobe and a nyctophobe

Flesh! Wonderful! Is this thing actually a mouth?!??

Mmmmmmm ahhhhh what is happening????? This is very freaky! Oh no oh no was that an egg sac???? Ahhhh nope nope nope nope the sounds are not making this better! My only consolation is that it isn’t spiders, I was very scared about that for a sec!

Two paths is diverge in a yellow wood evil flesh cave…

John does seem to have gotten a lot better about his fear of the dark, I guess he’s just had to deal with it enough and been in enough situations where the darkness is actually helpful to get better.

Trapped in a cave with skeletons. Oh not only that, it’s a dungeon! Oh! Oh no! Can we help this guy???

Aaaand that’s where we leave off. Oof. Imma need to process this one. If I can stop laughing about Arthur being an owl nerd lol

[tvshowspoilers]

OFMD episode 7 thoughts

Already know I want that robe Ed has! Dude it’s beautiful and I love the blue

Ed getting the breakfast ready is the cutest thing ever

I’m forever going to be crying that we didn’t see them cuddle! DAVID WHY

Also Ed’s little hum as he’s going down the stairs is precious

Aww Stede being so sweet about the twine on the tray when Ed is so nervous about it (you can hear it in his shudder breath when he says he panicked) (Taika why are you so good at making me feel emotions lol)

“you know that night that I died?” ED. BABY YES HE KNOWS

Still dying about Izzy coming in while they are in dead and his fucking smirk and AGH And Ed is just like, yep saw that coming

AND I AM NEVER GOING TO FORGET THIS LINE “ it’s good to see that it’s not just a ship that’s been good and truly….docked”

Oh yes on second viewing that clock is fucking sus….Zheng Noooo

I actually love Auntie

Also ED IS A CONFIRMED OPEN MOUTH CHEWER lol

Ed’s reaction the the letters “I love that you did that” awww…I hope he finds them! And Stede’s little self deprecating laugh, aw he needed Ed to say that

Dude you can totally tell Ed has never been skipped over…look at the little scoff he does and disbelief

I love love goofy Ed and Stede so much

Also this (Ed’s little speech about drinks tattoos and paps) is something I could totally see Taika saying to a newly famous person??

The revenge boys!!! I love it and Jackie’s little “the Swede will be happy to see ya!” Hehe

Ed’s so nervous for Stede like Stede was for Ed

So Ed’s soft look (outside) was him looking at the fish basket and thinking of a simpler life…so at this point he was already thinking about leaving and Stede and stuff? Expecially after the convo with Izzy? Cause his eyes get really sad.

I still don’t know how to process the fight with Zheng…just that I agree that he was double upset about loosing his found family

I know the little moment of Stede saying “you don’t sound that happy” hurt me cause Ed’s face is like nope and flashbacks to “what makes Ed happy is you” OOF

But, I don’t think it was a full breakup…but it was a discussion that was bound to happen at some point and I’m proud of Ed for explaining he and Stede went over the boundaries he tried to set, for realizing he wasn’t ready for this relationship yet and that he doesn’t know what he is……And that Stede was open to their relationship being “whatever” until Ed is ready

But god I’m still upset about his word choice and it’s been almost 24 hours since this episode dropped “last night was a mistake” still hurts very bad cause like I said…pipeline in Stede’s head to “I was a mistake”

I think it was an alright conversation until Ed said he was leaving (leaving Stede first so he doesn’t get hurt which is what I expected in s1 but figured would happen this season…tho not like this and this close to the season finale…yikes)

And Stede’s reaction about the fish, damn Ed was so proud of that fish…but my two cents, he wasn’t being malicious I think he was just saying one fish does not make one a fisherman

Oh but the “fishermen and pirates are nothing alike like” damn

Steak Knife is lovely

I think laughing at the guy was part drunk Stede and also him covering up the pain of his other kill…idk how to explain

Also we can still hear the ROP screams and stuff during the first part of the credits

Once again, love freaking fang and that roach made mud baths a thing

So yeah, rewatching this episode…it was alright and then got painful toward the middle and definitely second hand embarrassment worthy at the end but I thought it was a decent episode. Of course it had pacing issues but that’s MAX’s fault, not David’s

[many-but-one]

This is a poem written by Dorian nearly couple years ago now. He never ended up posting it because he intended to post the audio with it but we never finished captioning the audio. Going through our drafts, we found it. Since we’re on a poetry sharing kick tonight, I’ll post it now. This poem should probably be updated eventually since Dori knows more now, but we will keep it as-is for now.

Written by Dori:

I want to note that this poem is HEAVILY inspired by a slam poem by Patrick Roche. He came up with the idea of moving backwards in the timeline, which I felt was just...genius. Especially in the realm of DID, where if you know at the first age you have DID, you know it will only get progressively worse. And in my case, things do get worse, but then you get to see the real things that were believed back then. I discussed this poem with several parts in our system, not only asking for their help, but also asking if it was okay for me to share.

Lastly, here are the trigger warnings. This poem is HEAVY. It is graphic, it alludes and blatantly states some very disturbing things. I am tired of being silent.

TW: Alcohol, CSA, adulthood/teen SA, intense religious imagery, blasphemy, unalive attempt, drugs/pills, medical/hospital/doctors, self harm, domestic violence, parents, violence in general, car crashes, AFAB menstruation, neglect, death of a family member, a lot of cursing, BIG mentions of grooming from the POV of the child, brief mentions of abortions.

Haha. The gods really put every single TW they could think of in my life huh. Realizing that my entire life is essentially a trigger warning is 😅 Oof.

Anyway, here is the poem. Read with caution.

24 years and counting.

24, going on 25. I wake up each morning not knowing who I am and this is normal now. I have realized that this will be my normal forever, or at least until I process the layers upon layers of trauma, hidden underneath layers and layers of amnesia that I slowly peel back like onion skins, each layer getting more and more terrifying, more and more worrisome. The deeper I dig into this hole of unknown the harder my heart beats, and I realize my heart beats like a war drum. I have always been at war, with myself, with this body of mine. Of ours. 

Mid 24, I come to terms with a diagnosis called DID. I start to learn more about the different versions of myself, where they all intersect, where it melds together and where it stands apart. I think I know everything but 24 going on 25 version of me laughs at how naive I am. Perhaps 25 year old me will laugh at 24 going on 25 me. Maybe I’ll realize the depths of the hell I crawled out of called childhood was worse than I know even now. I don’t look forward to it. 

Early 24, I got married this year, my wife married three of me, three of me love her dearly. Things feel right and good again, I feel like I am on a happy path. My brain makes about as much sense at it always has, but at least I somewhat understand the pieces of the puzzle I’ve been given. Or at least, so I thought. 

23, this year is a blur, the only thing that stands out is that I quit my job I’ve had for five years. I loved that job. I quit that job because one of my past abusers walked in with no warning, and the sirens in my head went off like there was a nuclear bomb incoming. I still tell myself he didn’t see me but I know I’m lying to myself. I quit that very day and I realized that he still has control over me to this very day, 17 years after the trauma ended.

22, Two months before I am set to graduate college with my degree I get the diagnosis that changes my life. Not that my life is any different afterwards, at least not yet, so I try to continue forward regardless. How badly I wish to return to this moment and take my own face in my hands and look myself deep in the eyes and tell the 22 year old me that they have a storm coming. I think I already know, despite not really knowing, because I find myself getting drunk after work almost every night. I hide the bottles from my fiancée. I don’t want her to think I am my father.

21, I am old enough to drink! I barely drink. Every time I drink and it tastes too much like alcohol I am reminded of my father’s breath. I...don't know why. I stick to fruity drinks that taste good so that I can stop feeling things. Maybe I really am my father’s daughter. 

20, I finally start making friends in college, which is strange. Some people talk to me and I’ve never met them before, but they act like we’ve been friends since forever. Sometimes I attend lectures and I don’t remember what they are about. Sometimes I ask questions and I can hear my voice speaking and feel my mouth moving and I don’t know what I am saying. This is normal. The competent version of me sometimes does stuff when I get overwhelmed, that’s normal. That’s always happened! Everyone does that, right?

19, I wake up on the floor of my mother’s bathroom one afternoon, I smell my own stench I have been rotting in, I peek my eyes open and see pill bottles all around me, but no pills to be seen. The burn of bile on my throat and in my mouth makes me gag. I look in the toilet and see the pills. I won’t remember this moment until I am 24. I will learn it was not me that tried to kill themselves. I will also learn it was not me that saved me.

18, I have my first of many mental hospital stays. The doctors watch me stare at the other kids in the ward, nearly catatonic. They said they’d never seen a patient that never smiled. “Most kids get out of here within a couple of days!” They assured my mother and I. Two weeks later and I am still rotting on the plastic bedsheets. I lie and tell them I’m okay but I am not okay, I just want to live a life that involves shoelaces and doesn’t have nurses yelling at me to brush my teeth. I go back to school like nothing happened and almost all of my friends are gone. They never really cared.

18, pre-mental hospital, I am dating a boy that I don’t love. I am dating him because that’s what girls do even though I am not a girl. He is my best friend and it just seemed right. I really only dated him because sometimes I felt like I really loved him, but most of the time his lips on mine and his hands on my waist felt wrong. Something in my head feels like it’s buzzing like a beehive every time I go to his apartment. It’s almost like a spidey sense, except I ignore it and when I find myself back home, I don’t remember anything that happened at his house, nor how I ended up back home. I don’t think about it too hard. 

17, My dad punched a wall again. He screamed until I cried again. I can’t do this anymore, I can’t do this anymore. I hurt myself with sharp objects because it feels like that’s what I’m supposed to do. I never feel the pain, I only ever clean up the mess. I try to make myself as ugly as possible. To me(?) it makes sense. Obviously, if I am hideous, people will leave me alone. They won’t hurt me anymore, right? ...right? 

17, suddenly an angry version of myself appears and I realize I am SICK and TIRED of mistreatment. I fight back, I fight back with teeth and claws and words that are even sharper than both of those combined. I don’t remember these times very well. I certainly don’t remember the time this angry version of me YANKED the largest knife out of the butcher block and threatened the very man who ruined my life with it. I LOVE this version of myself. She’s intensity, with veins full of gasoline, ready and waiting for someone to ignite her. She bares her teeth in a grin and laughs, she says “I dare you, set me aflame, I will burn you with me.” Thanks, Alice. 

16, I nearly crash my car while I’m zoned out. Haha! I always zone out. Sometimes I zone out so hard that I forget big chunks of time, but everyone does that! 

15, my friend shows me his self harm scars and is trying to gain sympathy but I have none to give. I wonder if maybe doing the same will help me learn to have sympathy. Thus starts an addiction to pain that lasts for nearly a decade. 

14, I don’t remember this year very well but someone does. 

13, I started my period and I was told that I’m just a late bloomer. Everyone always said I was a late bloomer since forever. I didn’t hit my growth spurt until I was 14 either, and I didn’t stop wetting the bed until I was 9. Weird, but I didn’t put that much thought into it.

12, I wrote a detailed story that I no longer have a single copy of that talks about the structure of my inner world. Traces of the DID that I can actually remember. I don’t remember most of this year because I wasn’t the one who lived it.

11, My dad is neglecting me to party with his girlfriend. The one who lives some of next year lives this year too. Too much going on for fragile little me, someone stronger has to deal with this mess. She does. 

10, My brother died this year and this is the exact moment I stopped caring about God. Everything he ever gave to me he took away. I won’t understand the heaviness of such a statement for another decade and a half. This is when my depression started and when I lost my faith in humanity. I thought I gained it back for a while but I never did. I also stopped crying. Nobody heard me anyway. Someone in my head did it for me.

9, I don’t remember this year and I don’t want to.

8, I don’t remember this year and I don’t want to.

7, I am remembering this year and I don’t want to.

7, I am remembering this year and I don’t want to. 

7, I am remembering this year and I don’t want to.

7, I am remembering this year and it is the year that I well and truly shattered, the year I learned of the depravity of men, the year I learned that I was just holes to fuck, an actress in a sick film, a faerie, a demon, a screaming little cunt, and that’s all I would ever be seen as. This is the year I learned why I liked demons more than angels, and why God was my enemy. This is the year I realized for real that I was alone in this cruel fucking world and no amount of crying or talking or begging will ever make them hear me. They smile and laugh. They smile and laugh. They smile and laugh. :) 

6, late stages, My Sunday school teacher is so nice to me! He has a fun secret that only him and I share! I love him, he takes good care of me. He makes me feel good and special inside. I think deep down…I know it’s not okay. But I can’t help it. Actually, I am really scared because I see the way he looks at me and I feel queasy. I know this is wrong but I am scared he’ll hurt me if I say no. He said that God will tell him if I tell anyone what he does, and if God knows I am bad then I will go to hell. I don’t want to go to hell!! I’ll do whatever you say! I promise. I’m a good little girl. I’m an angel! 

6, early stages, my mommy and daddy broke up. They are fighting in court for me, and I don’t really know what that means. Mommy said the church is helping dad pay for good lawyers so she probably won’t get custody of me. I don’t know what that means. Mommy says daddy is bad and evil. Daddy says mommy is bad and evil. I don’t know who is telling the truth. Or maybe they both are. Or maybe I am the bad and evil one?

5, My dad visits me every night and calls me his little angel. :) I am his sweet angel! His breath smells funny though. And his fingers hurt me a lot, and I don’t like the way he tastes. But he said since I am a good angel it’s okay, so he must be right. 

4, Daddy and mommy fight a lot, my daddy has bottles in his hands a lot. He breaks them a lot. He hits mommy a lot. I am scared so I go hide. I am a being of terror. 

3, I am a toddler but there’s a version of me that remembers that he started existing at this age. He did everything he could to protect me. Even though he didn’t really know why. Thank you, Deimos.

2,

1,

0. I am just a twinkle in my mother’s eye, she’s just a teen and she’s scared out of her mind. This baby is saving her life, though. She didn’t want to keep going but now she has to. If only she knew that 25 years from now this baby would be a shattered and broken mess of themself, because of things desperately out of their control. They were just a baby. You failed them. They all failed them. They all failed US. Too bad you were a Christian. Maybe instead we could have been aborted. Or, rather, maybe we wouldn’t have step foot in that fucking church in the first place.

[myfanstories]

Where's Bob?! (part 3)

pairing: Bradley (Rooster) Bradshaw x fem!reader (callsign: Cheetah), dagger squad x platonic!reader

read part 1 here

read part 2 here

Summary: With Bob's sudden appearance back at the Hard deck, the squad is left with a lot of questions... so where was Bob?

A/N: last part!!! Thank you guys so much for the love around this story, I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I loved creating it! Enjoy the last part xx

Trigger warnings for: Alcohol, some swear words // English isnt my first language so I apologise for any mistakes

“I’m so sorry Mav… but we lost-“

“BOB?!”

There was silence after that, complete silence as the 5 hungover aviators stared at the man standing at the bathroom door. Bob zipped up the last of his pants, staring at the pale faces of his friends with a small smile on his face “Oh hey guys” you felt your legs move, mind still processing what was happening and soon you stood in front of the now slightly confused aviator “you guys-oof” the wind was slightly knocked out of him as you threw your arms around him, pulling him in a very tight hug. Not knowing what to do with the sudden affection towards him he patted your back lightly before he heard the silent sniffs coming from you “Cheetah? Are you crying?” voice slightly alarmed but you just pulled him closer “I am so happy you’re okay” you said in between sobs “So happy” you felt another pair of hands grab your shoulder “Come here” Roosters voice made you release your death grip on Bob and you stepped back, whiping away the fallen tears on your face as you looked at your boyfriend “I’m so hungover” you mumbled, fresh tears falling down as he whiped away some “I know baby, go stand with Penny for a second okay?” you nodded and walked towards the woman behind the bar who opened her arms for you, you gladly accepted her embrace and hugged her from the side with your head on her shoulder as she gently rubbed your back “What the hell Bob?!” Rooster said, giving him a little shove against his shoulder. He stared at the man for a second before he too threw his arms around him. Bob didn’t move, instead he just watched the other three making his way towards him as well. Jake ruffled his hair, a relieved laugh escaping his lips as Coyote patted Bob on his back saying how glad he was he was fine. Phoenix went in for the hug as well “Not that I’m complaining but... what was that for?” the pilots looked at each other in disbelief before Jake spoke up, hands in his side “What do you mean ‘what was that for’, we were worried sick about you dude… thought you were dead somewhere in a ditch” Bob suddenly grew a smile on his face, a laugh escaping from his mouth “You guys don’t remember do you?”

After everyone had declared their love for each other, had one big group hug and Phoenix and Cheetah had a little make out session, the group decided it was time to move over to the next club. Stumbling down the street Jake, Rooster and Bob were holding onto each other swaying a little bit from side to side while loudly singing Taylor Swift at the top of their lungs. Coyote walked in the middle of you and Phoenix as the three of you had their arms linked together, talking shit “-and then I heard her say to one of the other students ‘wait till my dad finds out about it’’ you and Phoenix gasped as Coyote was spilling some piping hot tea about the new load of students that had just arrived at TopGun “Like girl, that attitude aint gon get you far” you nodded, lips pursed “Exactly, I heard her talking about Rooster yesterday and how she had made it her personal mission to get him into her bed at the end of the year” Phoenix’s mouth fell open as she heard you talk “I heard her say the same thing about Jake?!” Coyote said and you rolled your eyes “We need to watch out for her, she’s trouble” a crash disturbed your weekly trash talk and you glanced behind your shoulder to see what was happening to the boys behind you “You guys good?” Phoenix called, turning her head as well. Your eyes went wide as you saw Jake go down, laughing so hard that there was not a single sound coming out of him. Rooster held onto a pole for support as his laugh loudly filled the almost empty streets of San Diego and then you saw what all the fuss was about… Bob’s legs were sticking upright as the rest of his body had disappeared into a trashcan he obviously didn’t see before it was too late. You couldn’t help but laugh as Phoenix went over to where Bob was struggling to place his feet back to the ground “I think I peed my pants” Jake wheezed, slowly starting to regain himself “I wish someone had that on video” you went over to Bob as well, shaking your head as you approached the situation he had gotten himself into and looked at Phoenix “Pull on three?”

Payback couldn’t stop laughing as Bob recounted the story, the five of you all looked at each other dumbfounded “I literally cannot remember any of that” Rooster said and Jake shook his head in agreement “I wish I did, I would pay a million dollars to remember seeing Bob go down in the trashcan” taking a sip of your water, you turned to Jake and Rooster “We didn’t lie about that student we were talking about, watch out for her” Jake raised an eyebrow “Short girl, brown hair, doe eyes, dad’s a captain?” You nodded along with Phoenix “Yeah, did that already” you groaned, throwing a napkin at Hangman’s face “Really?” Hangman just winked at you two “We need to have a serious talk about professionalism Hangman… anyway, what happened next?”

“That looks like a good party over there” loud music echoed from a fancy looking building and you looked at yourself and then at the rest of the gang “No way in hell we’ll blend it there looking like we do” Jake scoffed and brushed passed you “Speak for yourself, I always look great… let’s go check it out” the rest of group followed Hangman inside of the building and of course, you were right. Everyone inside was dresses in fancy dresses and suits, making you guys stand out in the crowd. Coyote and Jake quickly found the bar and motioned for you guys to follow them. You stepped in line with Bob, who was seemingly distracted by something. You followed his gaze and a small smile made its way to your face “Go talk to her” you speaking dragged him back into reality and he laughed “Oh no, I can’t do that” pushing his glasses back a little you looked back at the gorgeous girl he was looking at and turns out… she was looking right back at him “she’s looking” you said, in a singsong voice and you noticed a small blush on his cheek “Robert Floyd I will make the next 3 dogfights your living nightmare if you don’t go and talk to her” he looked at her one last time and his eyes quickly met yours again “Oh god, she waved at me” you turned to the girl and told her to come over with a wave of your hand where you guys were standing. She turned to her friend, who looked over at you and Bob before smiling at the girl and nudging her to walk over. As she approached you guys your smile grew… she was so Bob’s type “Hi” she said shyly, locking eyes with Bob. He cleared his throat and gave her his best smile “I’m Bob” aaand your work here was done.

Making your way over to the rest of the group who were already supporting their drink of choice you looked around and soon realized… you were at a freaking wedding

“We crashed a wedding?! Holy damn” Rooster laughed and Bob nodded “We even took a picture with the bride and groom” he felt his pockets but then groaned “I keep forgetting I lost my phone” you felt around your bag for a second before pulling out the lost device “No we have it! We found it in the mini fridge, don’t ask questions because we honestly can’t answer them” “Oh thank god” He grabbed his phone out of your hand and unlocking it, opening up his camera roll and smiling when he found the picture he was looking for “Oh god” in the picture Jake was in between you and the groom with his arms around both your shoulders, Phoenix was smiling wide at the other side of the groom while Coyote, Rooster and Bob were supporting the bride as she was laid out in their arms “This can’t be real… we really did miss out on one hell of a night” Payback said, shaking his head “Thank god you guys have my phone tho, I promised Maddie I’d call her today but I didn’t have my phone so I had no way to contact her” Rooster let out a low whistle and teasingly poked Bob in his stomach “Oeh Bobby and Maddie” Bob slapped away Roosters hand as he continued trying to poke him “I still don’t know where we lost you” he looked confused at this and looked at you “You didn’t lose me? Maddie and I dropped you guys off back home?”

Getting all of you guys to listen on a regular sober day was hard. Getting all of you guys to listen while drunk out of your minds, was something only a person with godly powers could muster. Or as it turns out, Bob.

Maddie and Bob stayed talking for a good hour before the talking turned into flirting, turned into a very heated make out session in the hallway of the bathroom. Both of them obviously wanting more, they decided to ditch the party and go home but just as he was about to leave, he stopped and turned to Maddie “I’m gonna hate myself for this because this is gonna take all of the sexual tension out of the room but… do you mind dropping my friends off on the way home? It’s just, I don’t think they will make it home if nobo-“ his cute rambling was cut off by Maddie who grabbed the collar of his shirt and crashed her lips onto his “You making sure your friends are okay is very attractive… go get them, I’ll bring the car around”

With the promise of food, Bob managed to convince you all rather quickly to follow him outside where Maddie was waiting on him. She honked her car horn was she saw them appearing from inside and soon they were on their way home. “Here is fine” Bob spoke and the car came to a stop. Jake threw the door open from the back and jumped out, landing on his face and throwing his fists in the air as he cheered “You guys! Did you see that, I’ve never jumped out of a moving car before” Phoenix rolled her eyes and stepped over him, stretching her legs “You are so heavy Hangman” she groaned, rubbing her now stiff legs. Because there were obviously 5 of you guys and only 3 seat in the back, you guys just piled in until you fit which is how Jake ended up in Phoenix’s lap for the ride. “Wait, why are we back at the hard deck?” Rooster asked and looked at Bob who had a smug smile on his face “Okay, goodnight guys!” he yelled and just as he was about to close up his window Jake reached into the car and snatched Bob’s glasses of his head, but before he could protest Jake took of running. Bob simply rolled up his window and turned his face to the girl next to him “Bob your glasses?!” Maddie said in shock and Bob just sighed, reaching into the pocket of his jacket pulling out another pair of glasses and putting it on his head “I knew this day would come”

Rooster watched as the car drove away and shook his head “I can’t believe he tricked us, the sick bastard. Dropping us of here with the promise of food” it was silent for a few seconds before Phoenix cleared her throat and spoke up “You guys wanna go get McDonalds?”

“So that’s why we had your glasses, Jake stole them” Jake scoffed and pointed at Rooster accusingly “But he broke them” Rooster gave him a warning glance and Jake held his hands up in defense “I’m just saying… also it makes sense then why I would call myself Bob to the lady at the hotel” relief washed over you as you realized you guys weren’t actually bad friends and didn’t really lose Bob “So Bob, what I can conclude out of all this is they didn’t ditch you… you ditched them to get laid” Payback said and Bob smiled shyly with a small blush on his cheek, nodding “Well done Bob, well done! Small applause for Bob please” you all started clapping and this made Bob’s head turn red as you all cheered for him, you turned to your boyfriend and grabbed his arm lightly “Can we go home now? I have sand in places I never ever want to have sand again and I need to sleep for at least a week” just as he was about to answer Mav stormed over to the group with his phone in his hand “Which one of you little shits gave up my credit card information to a 5 star hotel?!” Rooster grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the exit so quickly you almost fell over your own feet while waving to the rest of the group “Bye guys, I had a lovely evening with you guys!” exiting the Hard Deck you could hear Mav screaming Rooster’s name as it echoed through the entire bar. Once in the car you turned to Rooster and shook your head “You’re in so much trouble” he smiled and turned to you, leaning in and placing a soft kiss on your lips “Don’t care right now…home?” he asked and you nodded, placing one hand on his leg as he started the car “yes… home please”

The end...

[dragonflyxparodies]

hey i just wanna let u know ive reread af,au a bunch of times and i think my favorite piece has got to be laurel evergreen. im absolutely obsessed w the lore you've created for domino, and the perspective youve created for daphne. shes one of my favorite characters just because of the potential she could have had in canon, and youre doing so much with her it brings a tear to my eye lol. but whenever i get to that part in the reread i take extra time reading it, the way you describe her emotions and actions and how they intertwine is just amazing. i eat it up every time. ive said it before i'll say it again im obsessed with it. i love the hand you had daphne deal in the fate of the coven, and the way you write about her rage is just. so good. i know im rambling but its so hard to fond the words to describe the joy this makes me feel. the emphasis you put on daphne still culturally being considered a child reminds me in a way of all of what shes doing in the fic being a temper tantrum of a child. the illogical and creative thought process she takes, the simple rage that fills her, arent things you find in adult povs, but the minds of children who are easily angered when things dont go their way. daphne is undeniably not a kid, but she isnt an adult either and you do a wonderful job of getting that across. i also love the way you accredit daphnes achievements in a way to bloom, that doesnt take away the fact daphne did them. its less, 'daohne did all of this for bloom', and more 'daphne is a person willing to do the impossible for things she holds dear', adding more to a character that we dont really get, instead of centering her purely around bloom. i could go on and on but this is a lot of words so. youre an amazing writer and a bug inspiration. and i love laurel evergreen a lot lol

Aaa thank you so much < 3<3 <3 I’m so glad you enjoy Laurel Evergreen so much – it was one of my favorite pieces to write, and it’s one of the pieces that are closest to my heart.

I feel like Daphne is kind of getting the short end of the stick in this AU as far as, like, reader sympathy goes, just because the POVs of the main cast are so limited – she’s super antagonistic in Field Trip, and Bloom is not having it, but Daphne’s response is wholly reasonable for her position, for what she knows, for what she’s seeing. She’s a complex character with a whole Lot of Shit to deal with (and she’s still a teenager!). Laurel Evergreen was written waaay before Field Trip, but I’m *very* happy it gives you all a real insight into her character rather than how Bloom + Co see her.

I never got the impression that S1 Daphne was meant to center her entire being around Bloom although…y’know, later seasons oof…and I’m glad that carried through to Laurel Evergreen! I think it’s very important to note; it didn’t have to be Bloom, and you hit the nail on the head lol – Daphne would’ve done that for anyone she cared about.

Which, of course, makes the tragedy of so many of those people she cared about instigating the wholesale genocide of her planet, that much more powerful.

Thank you <3 <3 <3 <3

[d4isywhims]

sims tag game!!

i was tagged by these lovely people @seokolat @pxeltownie @mdmszee @moonriesims @magpiesims @oasivy @tbeanie-sims !! <3 lots of love to you!!

1. What’s your favourite sims death? death by vending machine just because that's the only "unique" sim death i've gotten so far lol (it happened to mawar btw but i immediately quit the game bc of obvious reasons)

2. Alpha CC or Maxis Match? i'm personally a maxis mix girl but i loveeeee looking at sims with alpha cc

3. Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? nope :)

4. Do you use move objects? yes. i would not be able to survive without it

5. Favorite mod? bed cuddle mod my beloved <3 no but in all seriousness, mccc and iu cheats are a gamechanger! i also love a bunch of adeepindigo's mods

6. First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? get to work ;)

7. Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? live as in aLIVE :)

8. Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? aww just one? :( i have so many! priya, kohana, harlow, jae!!!, hunter and sooooooo much more. but if i have to choose one i'd say my favourite is probably harlow because i based her off of savannah smith and she is gorggggg (both savannah and harlow!)

9. Have you made a simself? yeap

10. What sim traits do you give yourself? foodie for sure, umm maybe creative and dog lover :D

11. Which is your favorite EA hair color? the ash brown swatch? the one hunter's hair colour is in

12. Favorite EA hair? i don't knowwww 😭 i mostly use cc hair yikes

13. Favorite life stage? young adult! i get to do so much :D

14. Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? both i think? but if i had to pick a side, i'd say that i'm more of a gameplay person in ts4 :) i'm an avid builder in ts3 tho hehe i’ve always loved the building aspect of the sims and i loveee watching speed build vids on youtube

15. Are you a CC creator? i wish! but unfortunately i’m not :(

16. Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? i like to think we're all friends here so i'm going to say yes! i've met sooo many amazing simmers on here and i intend on making more :D

17. What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) i’ll say ts3 just for the nostalgia :’) but ts4 is pretty good too minus the bugs lmao

18. Do you have any sims merch? do knockoff plumbob headbands count? :p

19. Do you have a YouTube for sims? i do actually lol my yt username is still d4isy-nukes but i currenty have no vids up.......YET

20. How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? when i first started playing the sims, i was obsessed with making the "perfect" sims with "perfect" lives and would aaalways cheat away negative moodlets or never give them "negative" traits ykwim? but now i just go with the flow at whatever the game throws at me lol it's much fun that way :D also it helps to not stress about the things in game too much, it takes the fun out of it :p

21. What’s your Origin ID? same as my tumblr name!

22. Who’s your favorite CC creator? oof i can't name just one 😭 @littlbowbub @oni28 are my go-tos for food cc! @simstrouble @johnnysimmer are also very cool! idk man i feel like if i list all my fav cc creators it would be never ending lol

23. How long have you had a simblr? ohh omg i think i made this account somewhere mid-2021? not sure tho but i've only started being active earlier this year :) and hopefully for the years to come!

24. How do you edit your pictures? i use photoshop! i don't do much besides adjusting the brightness, cropping the pics and run a few actions. if i'm feeling fancy i'll add a moodlet/thought bubble or text :) gshade basically carries my editing process atp lol

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? give me hotels/resorts!!!! but ngl it's probably going to be buggy af tho lmao

25. What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? cottage living AND seasons. i canot live without seasons

i know for a fact that a bunch of my moots have done this tag already so i'll be tagging whoever sees this lol

[forestslut]

If someone has promised to do better for years, expressing that they’re trying though by a large still failing, do you continue to be with that person? Or if you stay with them, is there ever a way to do so without harming yourself in the process?

oof, this hits home. i think it’s up to the individual… there are a few sayings that have stuck with me for years and have helped with these questions

1. you need to be able to meet people where they are. if you need them to change themselves entirely, then it isn’t right. - this one confused me for awhile, because we’re always changing right? we’re supposed to, that’s just life. so why can’t i expect someone to change? but i finally understood what it meant. if this person were to never change, do you think you could live the rest of your life with them as they are? if the answer is no, then there is your answer.

2. would you rather feel the pain of leaving, or the pain of staying? it’s about what you’re willing to endure.

3. love is not enough to keep a relationship going. you can love someone deeply, but if there is no trust, hard work, loyalty, reciprocation, and care, then it is not worth the pain. love, alone, is not enough.

personally, it matters a lot to me when people follow through on what they say they are going to do. i don’t like apologies that have no substance. especially as a child of addicts. i was taught from a young age that my parents would continue to disappoint me. even when they apologized, even when they promised to change. so it hurts me deeply when someone doesn’t want to change.

i have a habit of being a Fixer. i see where things can be improved, and i want to improve them. this includes people. i’ve held out because i wanted to see my “hard work” pay off. but i was hurting myself waiting.

the fact is that love and choosing someone is a gamble. it isn’t necessarily bad to want to wait. i don’t want to look at it in absolutes. the truth is you love this person. so much that you’ve chosen to wait and see. and that is a beautiful and wonderful thing. but do you think you can do that forever? can you wait forever? it’s really your call.

is there ever a way to do so without harming yourself in the process? simply put, no. you are always putting yourself at risk of hurting yourself. it’s scary, and wonderful at the same time. but regardless of which pain you choose, it’ll be alright. pain is to be expected from loving someone, but if that is most - or all - of what you’re feeling, it might be time to walk away.

i’m very sorry for what you’re going through. i’ve had my fair share of heartbreak, and it is not easy. but the pain is good. it teaches you a lesson. it might seem hopeless now, but it is better up ahead. as cheesy as that sounds, it’s true!

hopefully this helped a bit. *hugs* 🩷

[hyprfixate]

hold on tight↝ [L.F] :: teaser

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ summary: you're unhappy. you're almost certain that there isn't anything in this world that can make you happier, and you're right. what you don't account for, however, is something otherworldly flipping your life on its head. or, should you say someone

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ pairing: lee felix x reader

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 950

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ tags: angst, non idol au, fantasy au kind of, felix is an angel literally and figuratively, mentions of suicidal thoughts without going into detail, reader is depressed, she/her pronouns used for the reader, slowburn, strangers to lovers, putting angst again bc thats how much angst there is.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ author’s note: hello! this is a small teaser for a much longer upcoming fic that i'm still in the process of writing! i haven't written fanfic in a very long time so i apologize if i'm rusty lol. i hope you guys enjoy! :)

quickly skimmed, ignore typos lol

-

Felix doesn’t remember when he became the front desk worker for purgatory. 

He assumes it was a while ago, since his fellow co-workers have all come and gone, some of them eons older than him. He’s always been “their little Lixie”, and while most of them have gone to a place he can’t reach, the nickname still lives on. Their little Lixie remains seated behind a mahogany desk, clicking away at his computer and waiting for the next person to approach him.

Felix is the first face a person sees when they die. Guy, the one in charge of it all, says it’s because of his contagious grin and never ending happiness. Felix could light up a room with his smile alone if he wanted to. That kind of energy helps people calm down– makes them feel at ease. Another perk about him is that he never feels lonely, despite how desperately lonely the job is. Felix knows that even though nobody stays, there is always someone new to talk to.

Like now.

“Hi!” he chirps to the person walking up to his desk. They’re dressed in pajamas with a severe case of bedhead, so from the looks of it they were probably sleeping when it happened. They look scared, and he pouts.

“Are you okay?”

“Where am I?”

He leans back in his seat, pointing to the gold plaque above his head. “Purgatory.”

“I’m dead?”

It’s the same script every time someone comes in, but his soft smile never wavers. “Yeah,” he says softly. “I’m so sorry. It’s not really so bad here, you know?”

He pulls himself back up to his computer. “Could I get your name?”

Stuttering, the person gives him their name. He presses a few keys on his keyboard before the computer dings softly, setting off the printer next to him.

“Oof.” He grimaces, eyes racing across the lines on the screen. “Heart attack did you in, yeah? That’s always the worst way to go. Have you had heart problems before?”

“Yeah,” they stutter out. “But I never-- no one told me they could kill me.”

Felix peers up through his long lashes, giving them another small smile. He knows it’s best to move on, rather than walk them through the speech about how everything and anything can kill you, so it’s a bit silly to expect that something as serious as heart issues would just be swept under the rug. Most people don’t appreciate being lectured when they die.  Instead, he pulls the paper from the printer and scans it quickly.

“Seems like you have some business to attend to first,” he hums. “You left behind two kids and a partner, I see. They’re going to need your presence in the next few days. Afterwards you’ll get to go upstairs.”

“Like, Heaven?”

“If that’s what you want to call it, that’s what it is,” he smiles. The person in front of him softens at that. He hands them the paper and points at a set of doors on his left. “Go through those double doors and walk down the hall to room 202. Knock and ask for Christopher, tell him Felix sent you.”

He waves, cheeks puffing up in a genuine grin as they wave back and disappear beyond the double doors. Once they’re out of sight, he pulls out his notepad from the desk drawer and scribbles furiously.

No glow, almost faded.

While Felix undoubtedly had a lot of questions about his appearance and business in purgatory, his biggest question was something no one could answer.

Why was he the only one who glowed?

At first, before they got computers in the office, Felix had no idea what he looked like. He knew had soft, sandy brown hair; Guy would always ruffle it and tell him he was handsome, but he didn’t know why he was handsome. Once technology advanced and they got a desktop, that question was answered thanks to the webcam. In addition to noticing his features, Felix also noticed that his body was outlined with a bright, sparkly gold light.

No one else in purgatory had that, not even Guy. Christopher, who worked in the office of external affairs, told Felix it was probably just his happiness manifested into something physical. Christopher himself was covered in tattoos, as he was known through the office for always knowing what to say to comfort people. Felix would agree with that theory, but he’s met countless people just as happy as himself with no glow.

Since then, he’s been keeping a journal of every face who’s walked through his office. Some people were more faded than others-- those were the people who wouldn’t spend too long here. Some people were dark and vivid, like the image of a 4K TV screen (not that Felix knew what 4K was, he’d heard about it from a couple visitors and adopted the phrase himself). Those people were usually there for a long time. But no matter how long a person was set to stay, they never had a glow like he did.

He tosses the notepad back into the desk drawer, leaning back into his seat and sighing. He didn’t have much time to himself, though, as the elevator outside the office door dinged.

He leans forward, clearing his throat and running his “script” in his head. He runs his hands through his hair before looking up with a bright smile.

“Hi! Welcome to…”

His voice trails off and his jaw goes slack as his eyes settle on the person in front of him. 

Yeah. Felix had seen lots of dead people, sure, but he’d never, ever seen one that glowed like he did.

Until now.

[lesbiangallagher]

my great aunt passed recently ;—-;

my great aunt passed away and she lived to be 99, with only 2 months away from her 100th bday. also side note the way most everyone in my family lives til their 100s lmao. i know two ladies who passed away at 101. honestly it’s incredible to me. my mom’s side of the family is extremely women-driven, like i cannot name all of the cousins my mom has but i sure do know they all went to the same all girls school lol slay queens we out here

but yeah my great aunt was the best tbh. she was always so incredibly kind to me even when my parents would drag me to spend 10 hours at my cousins’ house when i clearly did not want to be there and even when i was obviously weird and emo, she always said i was so beautiful and smart and if there was anyone who prayed, it was her. she always prayed for me, she would tell me lol i would hold hands with her as she told me stories about my mom when she was younger and it always humanized my mom in a way that i was like “omg my mom and i are extremely alike and idk what to do with that information but lash out more” but my great aunt was always so patient and listened to me too. she was just that person who loved everyone in a room, like kind of no matter what. my older cousin and i are the only two out gay people in this branch of the family and he’s feeling it. even my sister is feeling it too! and my sister is a tough nut to crack but she was always so endeared by her and she was, again, SO kind. in a room full of judgmental catholic ladies, my great aunt was always the nice catholic lady lol she would give everyone and i mean EVERYONE in the room a blessing before they left to go home. she would literally spend 1 hour giving everyone blessings as they leave and i still remember what she used to say because it was the same thing every time. i wrote it down in my notes and i will not share it because im crying as im typing this and i should take my corny ass home. yes im on my period again

and she would hold your hand while saying it and do the sign on the cross on you too. her hands were always very soft

damn i haven’t felt this hit by a a family member passing in a while. maybe it’s my period or the state of the world and maybe it’s this other unrelated awful piece of news that hit the community round my parts hard or overall just exhaustion from being mentally ill.

it’s hard not to wallow but i have to keep it moving. i recognize that i can still process many emotions at once and i know that i’m resilient, time and time again. i have a good support system that knows me and cares for me and i have to keep it moving. i help kids on a daily basis and they count on me to keep it moving. we out here y’all it’s that time of year where everything kind of turns into a blur for adults lol but i think we will make it out just fine…grieving can exist at the same time as being thankful and happy while i’m doing my thing…

oof yeah idk that turned into a lot but i’m glad i got the words out there. i felt them jumbling in my head all morning but i feel so much better now. might delete might not but whatever. i love you tumblr diary 🤍