#I’m still messed up over the ox dudes

[chaoticbardlady99]

A little Drabble:

You and Astarion or Gale (this feels like Gale girlies a bit too) had decided to engage in separate activities for the evening.

He wanted to read, you wanted to watch Karlach get her heart fixed- easy peasy.

But instead- you come back and you look haunted.

Astarion- secretly enamored with you is super worried. Your distant stare and lack of response is terrifying to him. Did someone hurt you? Did you find out about his plan?

Or if it’s Gale- he is immediately curious- worried- but curious because you aren’t someone who spooks easily. What ever could have made you look this way after you went to support Karlach?! HE MUST KNOW FOR RESEARCH!

Then you tell him about the Ox- you show him the confusing blob of images the Ox thrust upon your fragile brain.

Now you are both traumatized.

The end.

[mermaidxatxheart]

Better Together Chapter Seven

Chapter 7 already? I must really love you guys. I hope you enjoy. If you'd like to be added to my tag list, send me an ask. My work is not to be reposted under any name or anywhere else. Reblogs and comments, however, are always welcome.

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Warnings: trauma, probably language, descriptions of violence, torture, blood.

Word Count: 2k

Series Master List

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

The sunlight is bright and you twist your face into Poe’s chest, trying to hide from it. You feel him chuckle under you and it’s only then that you realize he’s awake already.

“Morning.” He says softly.

“What time is it?” You mumble.

“Early, about six.”

“How can you sleep with the sun shining in your eyes like that?”

“I like getting up early.” His fingers trail lightly over your arm and he pulls you tight against his side.

You’re quiet for a long time, but it’s not because he’s lulled you back to sleep. You feel bad for waking him up so late last night. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” You say finally.

“It’s okay. I’d rather you wake me up if you need me than suffer by yourself.” He brushes your hair back behind your ear. “I don’t sleep much anyway.” He admits.

“Because of dreams?” You ask, twisting your head back to look up at him.

“Among other things, yeah.”

You squint and he smiles softly. If you had to pick which is brighter, the sun or Poe’s smile? Poe’s smile wins by a landslide.

“Here, roll over.” He urges, guiding you onto your other side. He turns behind you, wrapping his arm around your waist.

“This isn’t any better.” You huff. His chest shakes behind you as he laughs. You lift his arm and roll back over so you’re facing him. His soft brown eyes are watching you, amusement sparkling in them as you shift.

“Now you’re facing the window again.” He points out. So, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and take a big, satisfying breath. “G-good now?” He asks quietly.

“Yeah.” You whisper, eyes already drooping shut again.

***

“I can talk to Leia, you don’t have to do the report.” Poe says.

“I told her I would. She said I could take time but I was petty and angry at the time and said I would have it for her by today.” You tell him, pushing yourself up from the bed.

“So that means you can still take your time.” He says, catching your wrist gently. “Stay.” He whispers and you turn back to him. “Please?”

“Come with me. You can get some food. I know you need caf. I kept you from doing your usual stuff all morning.” You say, kneeling on the bed. This feels dangerous. It feels like flirting, like crossing a line. But you meant it when you said that Poe is the easiest person to be around.

“You should get food, too.” He says, pushing himself up closer to you. One little inch and you’d be almost touching. You could kiss him. You could feel his lips on yours, tell him how much you…

Your eyes close and he pulls back. You should have expected it. But that doesn’t stop you from feeling like the floor is falling out from under you. Suddenly, you don’t want him to go with you. You straighten up, feeling dizzy and unbalanced. You feel numb, you can’t feel your pulse, can’t hear the way you’re breathing too quickly.

“I just remembered. It’s been a while since I’ve showered. I should do that first.” You mutter, already turning for the door.

“Y/N,” he calls, but the door is already shutting behind you and you squeeze your eyes shut. You deserved that. Why would you think he would want to kiss you again?

Poe can only be your friend. Nothing more. He doesn’t want anything more from you. And honestly, count yourself lucky that he even wants that much.

You hurry off to your room, locking the door behind you. You just want to be alone. That’s what’s best for everyone. Painfully, you peel off your clothes, wincing as every move causes you pain.

You shower quickly, blindly, taking no more time than is absolutely necessary. It would be so easy to just let yourself cry, pretend it’s the water dripping down your face instead of salty tears, but you can’t go there. You can’t let yourself feel sorry anymore. You made this mess, ruined a perfectly good friendship, cheated on your boyfriend and now you have to deal with the consequences of that. You’re in your comfiest clothes, settled at your desk to start your report. You wish you had thought to ask how much detail Poe had put in his. He clearly exaggerated about your part in what happened.

Your hands hover over the keyboard, waiting for your brain to tell them what to type. The longer you wait, the more they start to shake. You yank them back against your chest, squeezing them painfully to get them to stop. You welcome the pain, it somehow serves as your penance for what you’ve done.

Your door tries to open and there’s a muffled curse outside, startling you. You quickly unlock it and outside is Bryce. He holds out a caf silently and your eyes widen and you realize you promised him you’d be in the med bay after his shift.

“How was it?” You ask, taking the cup and backing up to let him in.

“Boring as always. I hate post work. Nothing ever happens.” He grumbles, following you and flopping on your bed. “What happened?” He asks, balling up your pillow and stuffing it under his chest to rest on.

“Um,” you clear your throat, scrambling for an answer that wouldn’t start a fight. I went to sleep with the guy you hate would definitely start a fight. “I couldn’t sleep. Kept waking up. Then I just said screw it. Been trying to work on this stupid report of what happened.” You gesture and he nods, understanding. At least, understanding your words. You know he doesn’t understand what you’re feeling. Nothing bad has ever happened to Bryce.

“What did happen?” He asks, tilting his head to look at you.

The blood drains out of your face and your hands start to shake. Your stomach falls to your feet and your knees get weak. “I-I don’t… I don’t really wanna talk about it.” You mutter, sitting back down before you fall down. You take a sip of the caf and try not to blanch. He never makes it how you like it and every time you forget.

“Well, you’re gonna have to talk about it. People are gonna wanna know.” He says, his voice gentle like he’s trying to be kind. But it feels like a punch to the gut. Why would people need to know what happened to you? Before you can protest, there’s a knock on your door. Bryce glares at it before looking at you. “Expecting someone?” He asks pointedly.

“No. I wasn’t even expecting you.” You stand up and press the release, even more surprised to see Snap on the other side.

He looks nervous as shit, holding out a bag of food from the commissary, and a caf. He has never ever brought you food before. “P…” he cuts off and glances down the hall. “Pando in the lab wanted me to remind you that he needs your help analyzing those plants you brought back.” He says, rolling his eyes at the name.

You frown in confusion, taking the bag. “Pando?” You repeat.

He narrows his eyes and slides them to the right, back down the hallway where he looked the first time. “Yeah. Pando. That’s what he told me. He needs your help.”

The name is entirely unfamiliar. As far as you know, it’s not even a name at all. “Alright… well, if you see… Pando, then let him know I’ll be there in a while. I have something to finish.” You say and he nods. Abruptly he turns and walks down the hall to your right and you blink. Maybe Snap is losing it? Too many missions? Flying too close to the sun? Maybe his ox-mask isn’t operating at full capacity. You poke your head out to watch him, wondering if he’s okay, and a figure darts from view before you can catch a good glimpse.

“That guy.” Bryce shakes his head.

“He’s a good dude. Just under a lot of pressure.”

“Who’s Pando?” He asks, taking the bag of food from you and rolling over onto his back.

You have a feeling you know who Snap was talking about, but why would he lie? Do you keep up the lie? Something in your gut tells you that telling the truth would be a bad idea. “Just one of the guys from the science division.” You shrug.

Bryce digs into your food and you frown. “I thought I knew all the freaks you work with.” He tilts his head, biting into a yacba fruit.

“They’re not freaks.” You snatch your food back. “And you don’t know everything about me. I have work to do.” You say and he rolls his eyes.

“So? Do it. I’m not stopping you.” He sighs, stretching out and laying back.

You want to hit him with something, that rage burning through your veins again. To save your holopad, you grab it, the bag of food, and the caf from Snap and march out of your room. You’ll find somewhere to eat in peace and then go to the lab and find this Pando.

There’s an observation tower on the outskirts of the compound that isn’t used anymore. You climb to the top, leaning against the stone post overlooking the woods. Finally, peace and quiet.

While you eat, you try to get as much of the report done as you can. You decide to be vague on the method of interrogation, instead focusing on what they wanted to know.

The lack of horrific details in your report doesn’t stop you from remembering them.

Hours. He has been asking you questions for hours. For every one unanswered, he slices at your best friend, nicking his skin all over. His face, his hands, his arms, his chest, his legs. There isn’t a body part left unscathed.

For his credit, he never wavers, never gives any sign of weakness, never cries out. He just clenches his jaw, and squeezes his eyes shut.

You, on the other hand, can’t stop crying. You’ll keep your promise, but seeing your best friend in so much pain hurts more than anything you’ve ever experienced.

In the back of your mind, you wonder how he knows about being tortured. As far as you know, he’s never been captured. He’s an excellent soldier, always on guard, always alert. He knows his shit, he’s good at this.

Until he goes on a solo mission with you.

And then you kiss him. And he drops his guard. Now he’s being hurt.

The trooper grunts in dissatisfaction and sets his blade down. “Seems like you rebel scum like pain.” He says, starting to take off his gauntlets and gloves.

Your stomach tightens, nerves spiking as you watch his movements warily. Is he going to give Poe a break, and turn on you?

“Nothing’s as painful as living in the world of the First Order.” Poe replies calmly.

Before you can see it coming, the trooper throws his fist, slamming it into Poe’s solar plexus. Poe doubles over as much as he can, coughing hard and gasping for air. You press your lips together to keep from crying out as your tears spill over. The trooper rains down blow after blow all over his body. His lip splits against his teeth, blood dripping down his chin. Around his eye, his cheekbone, along his jaw; you can hear his ribs shifting, maybe cracking.

Your heart breaks for him. You want to do something to help him, but you’re useless against your restraints.

“Ready to give up your precious General?” The trooper sneers, grabbing Poe’s thick hair and pulling up on it to see his face.

“Who?”

The trooper drops his head unceremoniously and turns to you for the first time. “You can stop his pain.” He taunts. “Just give us the location of your base.”

You straighten yourself as much as you can in defiance. “What base?” You ask coldly.

He grumbles and grabs his gloves, stalking from the room. Poe lets his head sag, breathing hard. You don’t dare speak. Blood drips from his mouth slowly, pooling on the floor.

You twist your face away so you don’t have to see your handiwork, crying silently. You can only hope that for the next session, they turn their attention to you instead of Poe.

He deserves so much better.

Chapter 8

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[shroomcult]

@soulxmakaweek

Day 4: Apologize

I fell way behind with Soma week because I got slammed with work and this monster of a fic took me too long to write.

Summary: 

Maka comes to realize that Soul had never felt fully comfortable around Crona, and in ignoring this entirely - she unknowingly hurt her closest friend.

Special thanks to Tori @chichirichick (she betas all of my dumpster fires, bless her) for proofreading this mess of emotions and also to Zi @azroazizah for coming up with the concept for this fic. 

**Disclaimer** This story is not about putting blame on Crona, but instead about acknowledging the fact that Soul went through trauma due to their actions and it was never taken into consideration by Maka before inviting them into their friend group. I'm not saying Crona didn't deserve support, but it's also completely valid for Soul - a victim of Crona - to not feel entirely safe around them regardless of their tragic background and circumstances. If Crona is a big comfort character for you and you feel you would likely be upset by this concept, then I recommend not reading it altogether. We all interpret things different and we're all entitled to our own opinions, and I'm not going to get in arguments with people over this.

It’d been a while since the Spartoi team was all together again.

After the fall of Asura, they really had no purpose to join forces as a team. No big baddie to unite them in ass-kickery. 

The skies were blue again. There were still Kishin eggs to take down, and a shaky new diplomatic relationship with the witches to maintain as well. 

Things were more or less … normal. Boring, even.

The only big difference Blackstar could discern was that nobody seemed to have time to just hang out and be friends anymore.

Kid was over his head with his new responsibilities, and while he was doing an admirable job filling his father’s shoes; there was a steep learning curve and his perfectionist tendencies only made it more challenging to overcome. He upheld a calm and collected demeanor in the public’s eyes, but Liz and Patty spent most of their time holding him together behind the scenes. 

Soul and Maka were a different situation entirely.

It was odd enough to adjust to the recent change in the nature of their relationship. They claimed to be the same as they’ve always been - just Soul & Maka. Only, they grew much closer after the hardships they had endured both in the book of Eibon and on the moon.

They had been close to begin with, but this was a different kind of close. Stolen glances, hands reaching for each other when they thought nobody was looking. Blushing for almost no damn reason. 

Something was going on between them - he could be sure of that.

More recently, however, Maka had been particularly obsessive about solving the dilemma of Crona’s entrapment on the moon. She was driving herself to a slow-burning insanity, considering every moment that she hadn’t rescued them yet to be a personal failure.

She’d been spending much of her time in the restricted section of the library, consuming every piece of relevant research for hours on end. Soul often stayed up there with her doing the same, or at the very least keeping her silent company when he was too burnt out to read anymore.

He’d also spent much of his extra time with Stein, training to perfect his sound-wave abilities into his own form of wavelength attack.

He’d been giving his all ever since making deathscythe status to hone his strength and better serve Maka. He’d even been able to hold his own for a surprising amount of time in the sparring ring against Blackstar, and that was a feat in and of itself.

All of the focus on Crona’s rescue had appeared to be wearing on him, though. 

Soul may have accepted Crona into his friend group for Maka’s sake, even empathized with them - but he had never fully trusted the demon sword meister. Although Soul was outwardly friendly towards them, Blackstar noticed the way his friend had watched them like a hawk before they turned back to Medusa. He was always ready for a scenario like that because he had never felt entirely safe around them to begin with.

Not that Maka had bothered to even take Soul’s feelings into consideration before forgiving Crona on his behalf.

She couldn’t have possibly been that dense. She had to have been actively ignoring the signs of Soul’s discomfort because she couldn’t handle acknowledging them.

And now she was doing the same thing all over again even with Crona as far away as the moon. It was obvious that Soul was doing what he always did - shoving his own feelings aside in favor of Maka’s. The loyal mutt of a boy valued her wellbeing far above his own, that was for certain.

He just seemed so exhausted of it all now. Searching tirelessly with Maka for a solution that may not even exist took up much of his time and energy.  

He never had the time to shoot hoops or play video games like he used to, and Blackstar was far above begging for his attention. He stopped even bothering to ask him.

Just for one night though, by some divine luck - everybody was willing to clear their schedule to have a late night dinner at the most beloved and heart-attack inducing burger joint in town. 

Every member of Spartoi was crammed into the largest booth in the restaurant and their chatter was loud enough to fill the whole section. 

There were multiple conversations happening at a time, but Blackstar was zeroing in on Soul who had his chin resting on his palm and that stupid, dopey look he got on his face when he was proud of Maka. Yuck. Keep it in your pants, loverboy.

Maka was next to Soul, his arm stretched out behind her on the booth, while Ox engaged her in a fiery debate over god knows what across the table from her. Judging by the redness in baldy’s face - Maka was on the winning side. He really couldn’t understand Soul’s hard-on for a bossy know-it-all personality, but whatever floats his boat he supposed.  

He decided he’d seen enough of that look on his best friend’s face and crumpled up a straw wrapper, dipping it in his soda and sticking it at the end of his straw.

He blew on the other end, sending the sticky wad of paper flying across the table. The projectile hit its target directly on the cheek.

“Fuck’s sake dude, how old are you?” he grumbled, reaching over the table to grab a handful of napkins to clean his face off with.

Maka snatched some of his napkins for herself, rubbing it vigorously into the flecks of cola that stained her uniform. “You got my shirt all wet, idiot.”

Blackstar simply threw his head back to cackle obnoxiously. “I just thought I should break up your lame little debate team fight before Ox over here pops a blood vessel. You know he can’t handle losing well.”

“I wasn’t losing!” Ox hissed under his breath.

Maka only met her opponent’s glare with a shit-eating grin.

“Hey, Maka! What had you stopped to talk with Professor Stein about earlier today?” Tsubaki cut in, obviously attempting to diffuse another argument between the two competitive brainiacs.

Maka’s expression relaxed into something a little more neutral, seemingly caught off guard by the question. Debate-mode successfully disarmed.

“Oh. Well… I just had some questions about my black blood research for him.” 

Blackstar didn’t miss the way Soul tensed up beside her at the mention of black blood. His face was void of any distinct emotion, but something was off in his body language. The way his shoulders squared as if he were instinctively bristling.

Anyone with a shred of social awareness could have deduced that black blood, Medusa, and Crona were not Soul’s favorite topics. It wasn’t unusual for him to shut down and discontinue any contributions to a conversation when any of these things were brought up. 

Unfortunately for Soul, all of those subjects were constantly on Maka’s mind since she began her obsessive pursuit for a solution to Crona’s ordeal.

“Oh? And what did he have to say?” Tsubaki pressed, completely oblivious to the tense situation she was potentially triggering.

“As you’re already aware, there’s not really any official research on the black blood that exists. We’ve been digging through countless books - gathering as much information about madness and Kishins as we can, but it can only get us so far. It would be so much more useful if we could get our hands on a physical sample of the substance itself.”

Soul’s eyes widened in concern, but only for a second before he slipped his usual poker face back on. His Adam’s apple bobbed nervously despite the veneer of calm he displayed.

“Anyways,” she continued, turning to look at Soul, “I was going to talk to you about this later, but maybe some of the black blood still remains in your system? I know we believed it was all gone, but surely there’s some residual amount of it lingering behind? Something we could maybe isolate, extract and create a concentrate of? Stein said it was unlikely, but technically possible. We have to try for Crona, right, Soul?”

He was no longer wearing his mask of apathy. Unmistakeable, visible discomfort was etched into his facial features and he was clenching his hands, knuckles whitening from the pressure. Everyone at the table was hushed and the tension was palpable.

“He doesn’t have to try anything,” Kid’s voice cut sharply through the silence, golden eyes flashing sternly at her.

A soft gasp escaped her and her eyebrows shot up, clearly taken-aback by the sudden burst of hostility from her boss and close friend. Her eyes darkened seconds later, determination setting in.

 “I think that’s his decision to make, and I’d like to hear what he has to say,” she turned her attention back to Soul, hope still shining in her eyes.

He fidgeted with his necktie, loosening it and clearing his throat. “Yeah, s’fine. Whatever you need, I guess.”

Maka’s face lit up into a bright smile that turned Blackstar’s stomach and she pulled Soul into a brief hug. “I knew we could count on you, Soul! You’re the best partner ever.”

“Whatever, it’s no problem. Just try not to drain me of all my blood, alright?” he chuckled weakly, avoiding her eyes in favor of staring a hole in the middle of the table.

She gave an easygoing laugh in response, and went back to conversing with Tsubaki as if she hadn’t just pressured her partner into volunteering himself as a guinea pig for the sake of someone who had literally sliced him open from shoulder to hip and infected him with black blood to begin with.

Is she fucking serious?

Blackstar was practically vibrating with fury from the interaction he’d just watched, and Tsubaki’s normally soothing hand on his shoulder did little to calm him down. When he glanced at Kid, he instantly knew the death god had shared his frustration with Maka’s obliviousness. 

It wasn’t long before Soul abruptly stood from his place at the end of the booth, pulling a twenty out of his wallet and placing it on the table in front of him.

“Soul? What are you doing? The food hasn’t even gotten here yet,” Maka blinked at him in confusion.

“I’m not feelin’ too great - gonna head out, sorry guys. Could you just bring my food back in a to-go box?” he said with an apologetic quirk of his lips. He squeezed her shoulder gently before turning on his heels and making his way out of the diner in long strides.

Why does she look so shocked? Does she really not understand that she’s been hurting him?

After that, the night passed by in a haze for Blackstar. He hardly spoke for the rest of the meal due to the fact that he was using all of his mental capacity to keep his impulse to stand up and loudly call his friend out in front of everybody in check. 

The only thing truly stopping him was the knowledge that Soul would likely be embarrassed and more than a little pissed off if he’d made a big scene over something that he wasn’t even willing to talk about.  

So he waited - held his tongue until he could lash out in private.

As everyone was saying their goodbyes, Blackstar watched her rise from her seat gathering her to-go boxes carefully and giving him a nod of acknowledgement before she headed out.

His eyes bore into the back of her head as she left, and Tsubaki’s hand clamped gently on him for the second time that night. Her eyes were crinkled with a gentle concern.

“I think you should leave this between them. If Soul wanted all of this out in the open, he would have had that conversation with her himself.”

A heavy sigh settled in his chest, “You know how he is. He’s the suffer in silence type and he always does her bidding. If nobody says anything, then nothing’ll change. I just want to talk to her - not like I’m gonna beat her ass or anything … unless she gives me a reason to.” 

“Blackstar,” she chided, fully aware that he would make good on that threat.

“I know, I know. I won’t be long, see ya at home,” he said, throwing up placating hands before stuffing them in his pockets and striding in the direction Maka had gone. 

            _______________________________________________

Maka set her walk home at a leisurely pace, dragging her feet slightly as she watched the sunset bleed into the sky above.

It wasn’t that she was trying to prolong seeing Soul, or that she wasn’t worried about the way he’d acted back in the diner - like something was eating at him. 

She was pretty positive that he wasn’t physically ill, which only left the option of it being an emotional issue. 

And getting Soul to talk about emotional issues was like trying to pull teeth from a temperamental bear. 

She had to figure out a way to go about this delicately, and she had to figure it out soon because their apartment block was fast approaching.

She stopped in her tracks when she felt the presence of a familiar soul behind her. His steps had been so quiet, she wouldn’t have even been aware he was stalking her from behind if it weren’t for her exceptional soul perception abilities.

“I know you’re following me, Blackstar.”

In moments, he was stepping out in front of her. “Wasn’t trying to hide. I need to talk to you,” his voice was uncharacteristically stern.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew Blackstar had some kind of problem with her since dinner. He was deathly quiet and glowering at her for most of the night; very unusual behavior from someone who never shuts up or hesitates to start a fight. 

“Okay, I’m listening,” she said, already preparing to defend herself against whatever absurd argument he wanted to pull her into.

“The whole situation with Crona - have you ever once thought about how Soul feels about it?”

Whatever she had been expecting to come out of his mouth - that wasn’t it.

“What? I mean, I know how Soul feels. He wants Crona to be safe, just like I do. What are you trying to get at?”

“I’m not talking about what he thinks about Crona being stuck in the deathdamned moon, Maka! I mean have you ever thought about how he felt when you forced Crona into his life to begin with? After being sliced open?” 

Maka’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline and her mouth opened and closed a few times, baffled by the question. 

“Soul understands why I welcomed Crona as a friend. He trusts me,” she answered, hoping her voice conveyed the confidence that she couldn’t find in this moment.

This entire conversation was throwing her off.

“Yeah, okay. He accepted your decision because he trusts you, or loves you or whatever the fuck. We all know that - but that doesn’t mean he was comfortable with it. It doesn’t mean he felt safe. He just stuffed his own feelings down, because he knew it made it easier for you.”

Her throat tightened as her own conflicting emotions overcame her. He had no idea what he was talking about. Soul was fine. He’s always been fine. 

“Did he say that to you? That he didn’t feel safe?” she choked out. 

“Soul? You think he tells people things? About his feelings?” he snorted. “No, he doesn’t have to tell me shit. It’s clear on his face every time you mention Crona, or Medusa, or that fucking blood.”

“Maybe you’re just making assumptions about how he feels!” she shouted back, gripping handfuls of the front of his shirt.

He leaned in, completely unfazed by the rage burning in her eyes. “You ever noticed how when Crona was around, he was always watching them out of the corner of his eye - twitching every time they made some sudden move. You ever noticed how quiet and withdrawn he’d get around them? Or any time they were brought up? You didn’t - because you didn’t want to.” 

“Shut up! Y-you’re making something out of nothing. Are you trying to tell me that I should just give up and forget about Crona? That they don’t deserve to have a friend?” 

Some of his aggression was fizzling out as he released a heavy sigh, placing his hands calmly over hers, still clenching in his shirt. “I’m not trying to say that you shouldn’t have helped Crona, or that you shouldn’t keep trying to help them now. I’m only telling you that even if Soul has forgiven and moved on - he’s still a victim of Crona’s actions. He suffered trauma from that, even if he’s too fucking stubborn to admit it. Just acknowledge that maybe he needs a break from thinking about them - all of that shit that happened - every now and then. Get your head out of Crona’s ass long enough to check if he’s okay too.”

She stumbled over wordless sounds as her hands went limp and released their vice-grip on his clothing. She was trying desperately to think of a way to refute the awful things he was saying, but Blackstar wouldn’t give her the chance. 

“If you gave him even half the thought you gave to Crona - maybe you would have noticed it like everybody else has. I just want you to think about it for a bit, that’s all,” his voice softened towards the end, shoulders sagging slightly as he turned away, leaving her to deal with the aftermath of his confrontation.

The heat of tears prickled behind her eyelids and she clenched her fists tightly to her sides. 

She wanted so badly to swing around and scream at Blackstar’s retreating figure that he was wrong, that he had no idea what he was talking about and of course she thinks about her weapon.

But the longer she allowed his harsh words to sink in; the more she could feel the sting of truth settling into her heart.

Had she really been so blind? 

             _______________________________________________

Soul had been laying on his back in bed, hands resting on his stomach and eyes pointed at the ceiling, unmoving for some time. He wasn’t entirely sure how many hours, but he knew his playlist had ended long ago - no music played from the earbuds that were still jammed in his ears.

He couldn’t explain the heaviness in his heart. The anxiety that often set in whenever Maka mentioned Crona or the black blood. It was all water under the bridge, wasn’t it? There was no point in allowing himself to wallow in all the negative emotions that punched him in the gut at the mention of their name. It was selfish to feel those things - it was his job to give Maka his full support. His own feelings were irrelevant.

It was just harder on this particular night. Sure, she droned on about those sore subjects often. Their research revolved around it anyways. He’d just hoped that it could have been different just for one night.

He’d secretly been ecstatic when Maka begrudgingly agreed to shelve her research just long enough to get a late dinner with all of their friends. A break had been long overdue. 

Things had been different between them, after all. They’d been sharing a bed, and they’d even shared a few kisses in the small, rare moments that they’d spent alone together - focused only on each other. They were chaste kisses, but he’d greedily take whatever he could get. 

As she became more frantic about her lack of results in helping Crona, he may as well have not even existed to her. 

He’d just needed that one dinner to pretend things were normal, to pretend as though he was on a date with her and she was willing to spend time with him and think about literally anything aside from her latest fixations. Instead, she’d asked him to play part in some unsound experiment - to prod for things that he hadn’t wanted to find again. It had only been made more uncomfortable by the scrutinizing presence of all of their friends. 

He’d felt used.

Soul perked up at the familiar sound of the front door creaking open and slamming shut. He was immediately ashamed of the pavlovian response he had to the sound of his meister returning - the little flip in his heart that made him feel like a stupid dog wagging its tail at the sound of its master.

Just keep to yourself. She doesn’t need to interact with you in this useless state of self pity. You don’t deserve her comfort.

Self-loathing curled in his gut and he kept his eyes stubbornly trained on a water stain in the ceiling.

Suddenly, light flooded into his dark room as his door was hesitantly opened. He reflexively brought himself to sit up on his elbows only to meet a teary-eyed Maka.

All self-indulgent angsty thoughts instantly evaporated from his head, and he was ripping his earbuds out and swinging his legs over the side of the bed to get up.

She made purposeful steps across his room, throwing her arms around his neck and forcing him back onto the bed with the motion.

“I’m so sorry, Soul,” she warbled mournfully into his sweater. 

“Huh? Sorry ‘bout what? What’s going on, Maka?” he tried to nudge her into looking up at him, but she adamantly refused.

She took a few shallow breaths before rubbing her wet cheek against the quickly-dampening fabric and looking up at him with dewy eyes.

“I haven’t been a good friend to you - have I? 

Was that a trick question?

“I-I don’t get what we’re talkin’ about here,” he stuttered uselessly, attempting to compensate for his lack of eloquence by brushing his fingers comfortingly through her soft hair.

“I never asked if you felt okay with Crona being around you. I never asked you if you forgave them at all - I just brought them into your space, your home. I just wanted them to have a chance at a normal life so badly - I ignored your pain, and I’m so sorry,” she rushed her confession out like it had been a breath she was holding in.

He had to fight the urge to bark out a laugh. It wasn’t that he found anything that she said humorous - it was just so strange that she was addressing this out of the blue. She’d seemed completely unaware as usual back at the diner, where had this even come from?

He was so lost in thought, he’d almost forgotten to respond and instantly regretted the prolonged silence he’d left her in. “Maka, it’s fine,” he insisted, “I get why you forgave Crona. I admire you for it.”

“But that doesn’t mean you were okay. I should have at least checked on you, or asked you about how you felt - or literally anything,’ she mumbled numbly from his chest.

“Hey. Look at me,” he said, lifting her cheek from its resting place against his sweater, “Sure, I didn’t feel the most comfortable around Crona. I think it was pretty awkward for both of us to be near each other. That doesn’t mean I dislike them, or didn’t want you to be their friend. You can’t beat yourself up over something I hadn’t bothered to tell you.”

His words hadn’t brought the comfort that he’d hoped they would, and her brows remained stubbornly crinkled. “If it had been me - if I was the one who’d been cut by that sword, would you still say that you don’t dislike them? That you’re okay with us being friends?”

It was a question that he instantly knew the answer to, but he was reluctant to say it out loud. He finally caved, bringing his eyes back to hers, “No. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive them if it was you.”

She closed her eyes tightly, nodding her head in grim acceptance of that truth. She had likely known that would be his answer already, but hearing it must have been difficult.

“But I love that about you. You have so much compassion. I only care for the few people that I’ve decided I love - I don’t have room in my heart for others like you do. I’d like to be more like you,” he whispered reverently, taking her cheeks in both of his hands and briskly wiping away all of the moisture he could reach with his thumbs.

“I should’ve had more compassion for you,” she lamented softly under her breath, eyes downcast.

“You’re not a fuckin’ mind reader, Maks. It was my choice not to bring anything up.”

She nodded slowly, but the way her grip tightened on him only confirmed his suspicion that she wasn’t going to forgive herself for it.

Minutes passed before a word was spoken, but Soul eventually cleared his throat. “You know, I don’t expect you to ever stop being friends with Crona, or to give up on rescuing them. I don’t want that. I don’t mind helping you like you’d asked earlier tonight, too. If that’s what you need from me, then I’m here.”

She brought herself to her elbows on top of him to get a better view of his face.

“I know. I’m not going to give up on them. But It matters to me that you’re happy too, and if that means you need a break from all that, then I want you to know that it’s okay to ask for that.”

“Right, I’ll keep that in mind,” he said in a hushed tone, distracting himself with a piece of her hair twirled between his fingers.

“And I don’t want to use your blood for research. It was wrong of me to even think of asking you that. We’ll find another way,” she assured him, voice tightening with emotion, “I definitely got carried away with all of this. It wasn’t healthy, and I really am sorry I’ve pushed you away in the process. We can’t solve this thing if we don’t have time to properly take care of ourselves. You’ve been working so hard with me, and I think we need more actual quality time together.”

“Yeah, I could get on board with that. I kinda walked out on dinner tonight, so how about we do something - just you and me tomorrow? Movies sound good?”

“Movies sounds great,” she hummed in agreement, hands idly playing with his hair.

As much as he would have preferred for her to continue her ministrations, he stopped her movements to grasp her hand, bringing it to his chest to rest above where she knew his scar was. He pressed down on her hand lightly.

“I’m glad it happened. I’m glad they gutted me, ‘cause I hadn’t understood what you meant to me till that moment,” he muttered, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head.

She only exhaled shakily, hand tightening against the evidence of his devotion.

“I just hate that it took a lecture from Blackstar of all people for me to realize that I’d been hurting you.”

His eyes widened a little at that new piece of information. Blackstar was the one that brought all of this on her mind? He could’ve sworn it would have been Kid if anyone. He couldn’t help but feel a little touched that Blackstar had been so concerned about him, but he was also somewhat irritated that his friend had distressed Maka as much as he had.

“Blackstar, huh? Remind me to have a conversation with him about mindin’ his own business,” he laughed half-heartedly.

“No, don’t. I’m glad that he said what he did - I needed to hear it,” she urged him.

“Doesn’t matter. He didn’t have to make my girlfriend cry from guilt over bein’ friends with someone,” he muttered, but his face immediately burned a bright red as soon as he’d caught what he’d called her.

She was a similar shade, holding her breath as well as his gaze with a tortuously difficult to decipher expression on her face.

“That is, uh- I mean… fuck.”  

Very articulate. Great job, Soul.

He hadn’t needed to agonize over whether or not he’d just fucked everything between them for long because her face soon melted into a warm, genuine smile.

“Girlfriend, huh?” she said with a glimmer of mischief in her eye.

“I’d like that. If that’s w-what you want,” he wanted to kick himself for the voice crack he just experienced. Not cool in the slightest. 

At least she got a good giggle out of it. The melodic sound squeezed something in his chest and he swallowed nervously as a response.

She brushed back his bangs, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his forehead. She peppered a trail of kisses down his cheek until she reached his lips. 

This kiss was far from chaste. She cradled his cheek and jaw as she slanted her mouth sweetly over his, pressing fervently, constantly moving against him and eliciting a breathy moan from him that he would never admit to making. 

When she tried to separate, he followed her, bumping noses for a moment and giving the corner of her mouth a few more enthusiastic pecks before backing up and allowing her room to look at his face. 

“Girlfriend sounds nice, actually,” she smiled broadly, letting her fingers brush against the back of his neck.

“Glad that’s settled, then,” he laughed easily, not even bothering to feel any embarrassment over the flush of his skin or the lightness of his breath.

He crushed her to his chest, and they stayed like that for a while, just listening to the other’s loudly beating hearts until they were lulled to sleep. 

He’d have to thank Blackstar with a game of basketball later.

[phantomphangphucker]

Ectober Day 6: Year - A Warriors Body

The (half)lifestyle Danny (half)lived was bound to affect him in many ways; some more visible than others. He was a fighter after all, and with enough time a fighter is gonna look like one.

Tucker pats Danny as they begin walking to school, “man it’s gonna be so weird being back huh?”. Making Danny chuckle, “tell me about it”, sighing and rubbing his neck, “and what with the lack of classes there’s been so much more time for hunting ‘n stuff. I’m gonna be so jittery just sitting in pointless classes for hours on end”.

Tucker laughs and grins like an idiot, knowing that was an understatement. You’d think the kid would take it easy when given a break, but no. Instead he basically fell face-first into fighting everything. And if there weren’t any fights then he went off training. “You just don’t know how to relax anymore I think”.

“Eh, you might have a point there. Jazz says I’m becoming an adrenaline junkie”.

Tucker gives him another pat and deadpans, “she’s right”.

“Fuck you”.

Tucker just laughs at that before poking Danny’s bicep, “though all your fighting sure has done you some favours”, attempting at flexing himself but just looking kinda ridiculous, “now if only I could pack on muscle that fast! Then the ladies would be all over me!”.

Danny rolls his eyes with a small smile, “you would if you actually did literally any physical activity outside of when you absolutely had to. Plus, you know my body’s more manipulatable”. Which was a blessing and a curse... and also the reason he was going to wear exclusively baggy clothing for the foreseeable future. He’d rather not have the fact that he rather looked like he low-key lived at the gym be on display. After all, he was supposed to be the weak little loser that blended into the background and slacked off; there was no logical reason to an outsider for him to pack on muscle, especially as much as he had. But hey, at least he hadn’t hit a growth spurt on top of it; though that would probably happen sometime in the future. Ugh.

Tucker rolls his eyes and puts his hands behind his head, “still man. You probably look way better naked than me”.

Danny actually pauses on the sidewalk at that and stares at Tucker, “Ancients, you’re such a pervert”. Tucker just looks back and winks at him, making Danny shake his head and start walking again. Smacking Tucker’s stomach as he catches up, “maybe you should focus less on how big your arms are and more on how big your stomach is, Mr. Eats Five Burgers In One Sitting. You’re gonna wind up like my dad... just shorter”.

“Ouch, low blow. But what can I say? All that tasty juicy meat is just begging to be devoured. How can a guy say no to that?”. Tucker digs in his pocket and flips out his PDA, “oh and Sam's still not gonna be back today”.

Danny groans, “great, so first day is gonna be even more shit. Wonderful. And don’t we have gym first block? Zone, the Universe just hates us, huh?”.

Tucker grins, pocketing the device, “like that’s anything new. But hey, at least you probably won’t die this year”, pointing at him, “and you’ve got some bully protection now too”.

Danny quirks a very confused eyebrow, “huh?”. Making Tucker roll his eyes disbelievingly, “dude seriously? There is literally no way you fit in a locker now. Sure your horrible clothing choices-”, tugging on the mustard yellow sweater with a little green puppy pin on the bottom, “-makes you seem small, but Dash isn’t that stupid”, laughing and tilting his head, “sure is close though. As soon as he picks you up he’s gonna notice something’s off, even I know muscle weighs a lot”.

Danny blinks at him, pausing his walking again, “Tuck pal, just how heavy do you think I am? I’m barely a-hundred pounds”. Tucker pokes his arm, “bullshit. I think you need a new scale”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “dude, most of my muscle and stuff is ectoplasm-based. Just my built-up ectoplasm storing itself overtop of my bones and fleshy muscle. And ecto’s weightless, remember? Heck, it can be anti-weight or whatever; me having more ecto muscle makes me weigh less not more”. Tucker blinks, “huh, didn’t think of it like that”, and decides what the heck and promptly wraps his arms around Danny to lift him up. Easily noting that yeah, Danny really doesn’t weigh much. A-hundred might even be being generous.

Danny shoves him off as Tucker puts him back on the ground, “so ha, no Dash won’t notice”, looking at the ground a little worriedly, “though yeah, I probably won’t fit in a locker anymore. Maybe I could...”, glancing at his arm before shaking his head, “hmmmm yeah no, that’d just make me look fat”.

Tucker chuckles, “what? Trying to redistribute the ecto? Hate to break it to ya, but you’ve got way too much to be a skinny twig again”.

“Hey”.

Tucker points over his shoulder at the school, “it’s true and you know it. And it’s not like I was any better”, both of them chuckle at that before Tucker continues, “anyway, welcome back to Hell I guess. Ready for another year of suffering and Highschool inequality”.

Danny snorts, “and suitably started off by the worst class of all, which will probably involve both of us getting rubber balls to the face”. Tucker just snorts right back as they climb the steps to the doors that both of them kinda wanted to never see again. Especially Danny, not like he was ever going to actually need or make use of the crap the teachers shoved down their throats here. If he was more of a delinquent then he’d just drop out here and now.

But hey, at least the whole quartets lockers -yes, even Valerie’s- were all together this year. Small miracles.

Danny groans as the two boys push in the gymnasium doors, making a be-line for the locker room and hoping to continue successfully avoiding the entirety of the football team. At least in the locker room they wouldn’t be total jackasses, since they had some weird level of respect for the ‘sacredness’ of the locker room. Probably some weird sports guy thing.

Pushing? Fine. Ass slapping? For some reason, fine. Hiding someone’s clothes? Sometimes fine. But actually shoving someone into lockers, or giving someone a swirly in the locker room bathroom, or actually wrecking the gym clothes? Off-limits; and messing with the showers was only cool if someone was taking waaaaaay too long. It was weird but hey, at least it made the locker room something of a semi-safe zone. So long as you were cool getting mocked for changing in the showers or out in front of everyone. Chance to show off for the jocks, chance to get mocked for everyone else.

Tucker chills against the wall, waiting on Danny who always took stupid long to change. Dude had bandaging and scars to cover after all. Whistling and inspecting his nails, being the only one still actually in here besides Danny; as per usual. It was kinda weird, felt like they had just finished freshman year days ago and yet here they were again. Back in the same routine. Danny’s voice breaks through his thoughts, “uh, I think we -or more so I- might have a slight problem”.

Tucker sighs, at least Danny’s tone wasn’t serious which meant less ‘danger/ghost fight incoming’ and more ‘mild inconvenience or some general halfa weirdness’, “what?”.

Danny gives a very awkward chuckle, stepping out and holding his arms out to the side before looking down at his shirt, “I may have updated my wardrobe, but I think I may have forgotten something”.

Tucker blinks before sputtering and laughing, bending over a bit to wheeze, “dude, haha, that so doesn’t fit you anymore!”. Tucker absolutely forgot that Mrs. Testlauf was super serious about wearing fitting clothes, pretty sure Danny had too. She always went off about how it ‘showed the value and worth of a person and their progress’ course she’d always add on ‘and shows who the weak pipsqueaks are’. Laughing some more, “how did you even get that on? I get that the underaumour is, like, super-duper stretchy, but the shirt? Looks like it’s gonna burst apart at the seams!”.

Danny huffs, “again, more manipulatable. I’m ‘squishy’ remember?”, and crosses his arms. Both of them still and stare at the air at the sound of ripping; proving Tucker right.

Tucker falls on his ass laughing after a beat, “guess you have to ask for a new one now! Ha! Testlauf’s gonna be pissed”.

“Fuck you man”, Danny starts laughing himself though and glances around before just phasing off the shirt; yeah, he wrecked the sleeves. Stupid Testlauf and her stupid ‘wear your proper sizes or it’ll be detention for the rest of your life’ rule. Least the shorts were supposed to be a bit loose, not that they currently were.

Both boys’ jump a little at hearing a rather masculine female voice shout, “where the Zone is Fenton and Foley! Those two slackers better get their butts out here! Or they’ll be running laps all class!”. Danny and Tucker both panic a little at that, and justifiably so because talk about harsh. Promptly bolting out of the locker room, Danny with his ruined shirt in hand.

Unfortunately, though obviously, everyone is pretty much staring at them as they run out. Most looking to be partway through rolling their eyes but stop. Dash -because of course Danny would get stuck having gym with Dash- is the one to actually point shit out though, “Fenton? What the Hell happened to you?!?”.

Danny quirks an eyebrow, “huh?”, while walking over to Testlauf and speaking rather awkwardly, “I, uh, need a new gym shirt”.

Testlauf blinks, “like Hell you do”, and snatches the shirt. Holding it up and looking from it to the boy, clearly seeing that it’s torn and stretched out. Then giving Danny an almost happy appraising look, “well I’ll be, Fenton, so you do”, and gives him a clap on the arm that is absolutely a pleased one.

Danny blinks, confused, and looks to Tucker, who also looks confused, “what the Zone is happening here?”.

Todd blurts out, “what do you think? You have a bloody six-pack and the arms of an ox. Did you take steroids or something?”.

Danny and Tucker blink, then look to Danny’s chest. Danny instantly blushing a bit and attempting to cover up, belatedly remembering that Testlauf actually took the shirt, “uhhhh. No?”. Tucker has to turn away from everyone to laugh at Danny’s expense. Danny shoves him over for that; Tucker just lays on the ground laughing, not bothering to get up.

Testlauf tosses a larger shirt at him, “get that on and let’s see what you can do with those new muscles. Glad to see you ain’t no bloody wimp anymore”, huffing to herself as she walks off to get the balls, “to see youths shaping up, nothing makes me prouder. I couldn’t give a damn how he did it, kid’s not the type to go to unhealthy measures”. Danny, actually being able to hear her, blushes a little.

In the meantime, all Danny’s fellow classmates rush up and start trying to poke at him. He, of course, bats them off erratically; Tucker springing up to also try shooing people off from his best friend. The fact that Danny’s shirt is still practically skin-tight honestly doesn’t help; less so than the underarmour at least.

Dash scowls at Danny, while aggressively snatching up a ball, “seriously, the goddamn Zone Fenton. Weaklings ain’t supposed to bulk up”.

Danny glances from side to side before steeling his expression and meeting the bully's eyes, effectively deciding screw it, “not my fault you were too busy stuffing me into things to notice things were changing”.

Jesse blinks at him while joining the side Danny’s on, “so wait, you’ve been working out or some shit for a while and straight up no one noticed?”.

Danny shrugs, “it’s also not my fault no one cares to really pay attention to me and besides, I like being left alone”.

Testlauf blows her whistle, which of course results in Dash instantaneously whipping a ball straight at Danny. Which again, makes Danny decide fuck it, and just catches the ball nonchalantly. Dash scowls as Danny smirks, Dash walking off to the side.

Everyone on Dash’s side pauses for a second and glance at each other, before all silently agreeing to bombard the boy. Todd speaking while whipping a ball at him just like everyone else, “so this is why you always wear such baggy clothes huh? Can’t say I understand why or how though!”.

Danny just choosing to dodge with a sidestep this time, “because you people are dicks honestly. And my mom’s a black belt and knows more fighting styles than I can shake a stick at. How the Zone do you think?!?”. More than a couple nod to themselves while running around throwing and dodging.

Mikey, who just so happens to be trying to hide behind him, readjusts his glasses, “and don’t they want you to be a hunter like them? That’s a pretty physical job”. Emily shouting, “and Jack has totally tossed an RV through a wall before! So packing on muscle easily must be in your DNA!”. Danny isn’t about to argue against that, that might actually have something to do with it after all. Even if it was more his ghost halfs fault.

The rest of the game devolves from there, becoming more wild throwing and teenage shrieking than pestering Danny. Which Danny’s perfectly content with, though that results in someone getting practically thrown into him after getting blown back by a ball to the stomach. Which then results in Danny getting flipped over and throwing his ball way harder than he meant to. The entire gym pauses at the ball hitting the back wall and actually cracking the fake brick a bit.

Tucker bends over wheezing with laughter from the sidelines, looks like someone might have gotten a little too used to chucking round -though usually glowing- balls at beings that could handle being rammed by semi’s. Least he didn’t hit anyone and break their arm!

Danny blinks at the wall, “heh heh, whoops”. The few people still remaining on the other side honestly just look impressed rather than the more reasonable reaction, which would be fear and concern for their own safety; but Amity Park and CasperHigh were crazy like that though.

Mrs. Testlauf blows her whistle, “at that I think it’s a good time to wrap this up, before Fenton murders someone”, Danny rubs his neck at that while she points at him and continues, “learn self-control boy, these walls see enough damage as it is”. Which gets quite a few people to start snickering at his expense; Danny just nods awkwardly and blushes a bit. Learning self-control was generally pretty high on Danny’s priority list as it was.

Tucker snickers at him as everyone goes to clean up, “guess someones gotta relearn they’re surrounded by meek little regular old humans huh”, with a cheeky grin plastered on his face. Danny smashes his face into the wall, not hard enough to do actual damage though, “shut up, Tuck”; making a few people around chuckle.

Tucker grumbles a fake, “ow”, as he pulls his face off the wall after Danny let’s go of his head. Then turning to him and smirking meanly, pulling out his PDA. Danny eyes it and Tucker’s grin, “oh don’t you dare”.

“You started it”, and jabs him with the device, giving him a mild electrical shock.

A couple other teens blink and watch the two boys pretty much beat each other up slightly. Emily muttering, “I think I don’t actually want to know what the Zone the defect quartet gets up to in their spare time”.

Todd snorts, “you’re just weak”. She glares back at him, “I don’t hear you asking”. He waves her off, “now why would I waste my precious energy on that”, earning a few snorts from the rest of the class just as the bell goes off.

Jesse runs up to Danny as everyone’s walking to leave, pulling at the ugly yellow sweater, “what I don’t get, is why you dress like such shit if you've got it going on under there”. Danny shrugs, “just don’t care”, he did care, he cared that people didn’t notice literally any of his weirdness. But obviously that wasn’t working out here. Especially with Dash giving him a weird look and clearly choosing to not go and bug Danny. But maybe, judging by how no one really seemed to care beyond being impressed and he had had fun, maybe that didn’t matter.

After all, it had been a year since he died. Since he started fighting day and night practically every other waking moment. Since he started Highschool. Things had changed. He had. And try as he might, people were going to notice that. He wasn’t that same kid anymore. The little living weak wallflower Danny Fenton didn’t exist anymore, and there really was no point in trying to pretend that he did.

End.

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 51.13 - Wolfson, Ox vs Bristol

I am allergic to dairy. Or at least I believe I am. This is different to lactose intolerance in that it has symptoms more in line with your typical bout of hayfever, rather than those of a more gastrointestinal bent that you get with intolerance. In other words - cheese makes me sneeze. 

I first discovered this about a year ago when I had something containing milk after a month of testing out various vegan cheeses (having previously been a cheese sandwich on the daily kind of guy). I was completely wiped out with a runny nose, runny eyes, achy joints, heavy head kind of illness for about a day or so. Now, this is a kind of illness that had been plaguing me for years, but I’d never stopped long enough to think about what the cause could be. I just sort of assumed that I was a person who would always suffer a base level of ‘having a cold’ and would occasionally and seemingly randomly get taken out by an extreme instance of it every once in a while. 

After this first incident last year I conducted an experiment on myself whereby I swore off all dairy products for a month and then consumed in as little time as is physically possible, a large takeaway pizza with extra cheese and a large portion of cheesy chips. The next day I was struck down by the same severe sniffles and was forced into a life sans-cheese sandwiches for the first time in living memory. I called the GP to see if they’d be able to do some tests or something to try and find more out about it, but they basically told me that they thought I’d solved the mystery already - so why would I need anything from them. 

Nearly a year goes by with no further cheese-based indispositions, until last Thursday when, on a work trip, and having not eaten since breakfast, having skipped lunch in anticipation of a larger window for the consumption of a full meal which did not materialise, I bought a superfood wrap, the ingredients of which I had read and believed to be safe. However, it turned out that it contained copious amounts of feta. Realising this only once I had taken the first bite, I resolved to finish it. In any case I was absolutely starving and this was the only food I was likely going to see for the next few hours. How bad could it be, anyway?

Very bad, as it turns out. To the extent, indeed, that most of Friday, Saturday and Sunday were complete right-offs (other than the fact that I was able to binge without guilt the entirety of Squid Game). To the extent also, that I spent a not-insignificant amount of time trying to research exactly what it is that's wrong with me (i think it could be something to do with the fact there is a lot of histamine in cheese, and this messes about with the way my immune system deals with threats… If anyone has any insights on this subject they would be greatly appreciated), in the hope of potentially being able to mitigate the issue in the future. 

Usually when I delve this deep into a subject there is the prospective chance that said research will serve me well in future quizzes. With this in mind, and with the hope that it acts as sufficient justification for this self-centred ramble about cheese, I am really hoping for a three part bonus set on the role of histamine in the immune response tonight.

Anyway, (any usually when I make an apology for my rambling I’m being flippant, but in this case it really is genuine, because there isn’t really any excuse for this level of frippery in the introduction to any blog post), sorry for the gigantic diversion from the scheduled programming; here’s your starter for ten. 

Bristol have made seven University Challenge quarter-finals, without ever making it to the semis, which is quite impressive in more ways than one. Wolfson have never made the semis either, but they only have a sole quarter to their name, meaning they have a ways to go to match their West Country rivals.

Wolfson’s Williams introduces himself with one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen on a contestant, and its pretty infectious. By the time Paxman gets round to asking the questions I’m positively grinning. The jolly fellow himself is the first to get some points on the board, recognising various revolutions before anyone else. They take two bonuses on the words of the acronym TARDIS. 

Bristol’s Woodcock negs the next starter, coming in very early with India, and then rapping his hand on the desk when he’s told he’s wrong. Wolfson aren’t able to pick up the points, and returned the neg with one of their own next time out. Williams takes his second of the night with Shackleton and beams his head off again. They take two bonuses, including one which is a very obvious description of an electron - the kind of question that has no business appearing on the Challenge.

Nowakowski is first to recognise Granada for the first picture round and he bloody well dabs. He pauses for a brief moment and then literally, and energetically, dabs. I don’t know what else to say about this. It is beyond description almost. Brilliant, mind, but beyond description. A third starter for Williams increases Wolfson’s lead, but they can’t capitalise on the bonuses. The next ten pointer goes to Nowakowski too and… this time he raises his glass of water like he’s cheers-ing the crowd in celebration. I really hope this dude has a full set of different celebrations for each time he gets a question right. We shall see…

Following an amusing discussion between the Wolfson team in which Nowakowski says of Chopin, ‘Well, as a Polish man I wouldn’t call him French, but you’re the captain’, Woodcock makes up for his earlier neg and gets Bristol back on the move. They keep going courtesy of Brian on the music starter, as she gets The Shangri-Las so quickly as to elicit some murmurs of appreciation from Paxman. They then take the lead with a bonus set on film titles made of international country codes and pretty quickly they are thirty points clear.

Aggarwal hits back for Wolfson with an early buzz of Ramanujan, but they don’t make many inroads on the bonuses, and Bristol seize back control with a pair of consecutive starters. They take two bonuses on events happening in years in which the second two digits are three times as large as the first two digits - a lovely UC contrivance which initially seems to make the question more difficult but actually makes it a multiple choice guessing game.

I hadn’t realised it, but Bristol are now ninety points clear. I don’t quite know how they’ve done it, because Wolfson seemed like they were doing okay, but fair play to them, they’ve been excellent after a shaky start. The game is over at this point, but Williams gets in a little joke with a guess of Dr Gilssando on a question featuring the word glissando. Good lad. 

Hang on, if Wolfson can get a few more points they might be in with a shot of the play-offs, and Nowakowski is still pretty pumped when they he gets a bonus question right, yelling Uzbekistan, baby. It isn’t enough to get them the 140 points they need to come back for the repechage, but Paxman comments on his enthusiasm at the end of the match, in one of the most surreal exchanges I’ve ever seen on the Challenge. 

He asks Nowakowski why he was so psyched about his Uzbekistan answer, and Nowakowski says ‘Phenomenal country, great people’, to which Paxo says ‘That’s enough from the Uzbekistan tourist board’. Nowakowski then points a finger at the camera and says ‘Poland approved’. This description doesn’t do it any justice, so if you haven’t seen it already do go and watch it (and if you have then watch it again, its really quite something)

Final Score: Wolfson, Ox 110 - 165 Bristol

I’m going to miss Wolfson, and in particular Nowakowski, so, so much. But full congratulations to Bristol, who dealt with the boundless charisma of their opponents most admirably. See you next week for the last first round match!

[fluffyunicornofdanger]

Falling

A/N: Dudes, I have been thinking about doing a fic based off a song for a long time and so I’m glad I got a request for one. It’s not that long, but it’s a good start. And I don’t know when the next fic will be out because I think I’ll have to get my thumbnail removed and I have a feeling that’ll hurt like a bitch. 

*~~*~~*

Masterlist

Nikki Sixx x Reader

Song: Falling by Harry Styles (This is one of my favorite songs on the album)

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: Language, cheating

I’m in my bed

And you’re no here

And there’s no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands

Headlights drifted through the room in intervals as cars passed by, each heading to unknown destinations. The street was buzzing with life as people wandered around, trying to find the next thing to get them a high. For some, it was the smile of someone they loved, for others, it was a drug that they had to pay for.  No matter what it was that they sought, they were all after the same thing. 

Nikki laid on his bed and watched the lights reflect onto the ceiling. There was no high for him to chase. Not when he’d let it slip through his fingers. 

His hair was a mess, black tuffs of knotted tangles framed his face. Makeup from the last show was smudged under his eyes, giving him a raccoon-like look. The man smelled of alcohol and sweat, but he didn’t mind. What did it matter anyway?

The mess of a man he was was no one’s fault but his. 

He drank too much, that was a given. No matter what was placed in front of him, he’d knock it back like it was water. No matter how much it burned, he’d throw it back. Drunken nights that ended in a black haze were normal for him. The consequence of it never mattered to him as long as he could do it all again the next day. 

That was until in a drunken state he lost the best drug he’d ever had. 

Forget what I said

It’s not what I meant

And I can’t take it back 

I can’t upack the baggage you left

The words had come off his tongue like they held some truth, “You’re nothing but a boring whore I have chosen to keep around.” They were dumb words that shouldn’t have been said, but when something came between Nikki and a good time, he’d say just about anything to continue on with what he was doing. And that meant saying things he would regret come morning. 

Y/n was aware of Nikki’s drinking problem and had always tried her best to prevent him from doing anything he would really regret. That was until she had walked in on him in their shared bedroom with another woman. It would have been one thing if the women had forced herself on him, but it looked like both of them were having a wonderful time. Trying to talk some sense into her boyfriend, trying to make sense of what she was seeing herself did no good. In the end, Nikki still found a way to break her heart.

That is what left the musician sulking on his bed and Y/n waiting for her plane to arrive at the airport.

What am I now?

What am I now?

What if I’m someone I don’t want to be around?

I’m fallin’ again

I’m fallin’ again

I’m fallin’

*~~*~~*

Tapping her foot, Y/n rolled her eyes as she listened to the conversation of the couple next to her. Who cared what color they painted their living room? Once it was painted they would stop noticing after a month. There were better things to worry about in the world, anyway.

It shouldn’t have bothered her that much, the conversation that wasn’t meant for her ears. Some people had the luxury of being able to carry on mundane conversations about anything under the sun. 

Y/n didn’t have that.

Instead, she had the internal battle of what she could have done differently. 

For example, had she intervened months ago when it came to Nikki’s addictions, maybe she wouldn’t be where she was at that moment. She had wanted to get him help for a long time, it was clear he needed it. Once he started blacking out due to the combination of drugs and alcohol he would take, she knew a change needed to be made. But it didn’t matter what she knew because the man was as stubborn as an ox.

With the slight mention of rehab, he would have run for the hills. It would ruin his rockstar image, that would no doubt be his argument. He cared more about his rockstar life than anything else. Drugs, sex, and loud ass music were all that ever crossed his mind. It seemed that it never mattered where he got those three things from as long as he got them. 

Y/n was sick of it, of everything. The parties, the girls, the drugs. That’s not the life she wanted. Granted, there was no planed blueprint or outline of how she wanted her life to go, but what she was given, what she chose was not what she wanted.

Not anymore. 

But that didn’t seem to matter, what mattered was that she had let it all happen. 

She had let Nikki fall so low. She had let him become consumed by the drugs that he took. They took over his life while she did nothing but watch. Had she stepped in just once, maybe things would be different for both of them? Maybe she wouldn’t have looked for a way out their relationship anywhere she could.  

God, if she hadn’t wasted her time worrying about Nikki. If she just done something, got him clean or left his ass, the places she could be. This was the lowest she could get and it stung. It stung because for a long time Y/n hadn’t realized all she was missing out on.

What if I’m down?

What if I’m out? 

What if I’m someone you won’t talk about?

I’m fallin’ again

I’m fallin’ again

I’m fallin’

*~~*~~*

“You really fucked up,” Tommy shook his head. “Those drugs really fucked you up.

Nikki groaned, oh he knew he fucked up. He fucked up so bad, there was no way he could fix any damage that he had done. He had tried to get a hold of Y/n, but she had dropped off the face of the Earth. He called her mother, he called her friends, he called her work. He called anyone who would know where she was. And they were either lying when they told him they had no clue where to find her or they really had no clue where she was.

All he wanted to do was apologize and take back everything that he’d said. Fix the wounds that he had caused was all he was asking for. Though it wouldn’t be enough, it was a start. 

Y/n cared for him like no one else ever had. She was there, she was always there. Never once abandoned him like his parents had. She was the only constant thing in his life, and like always, he found a way to screw it up.

“I just can’t get her out of my head. The last dozen songs I’ve written have been all about her.” He grabbed a stack of wrinkled papers from off the floor and threw them at his friend. “Everything I do involves her in one way or another and since she’d up and left, I feel like my luck has run clean out.”

Mick chuckled, opening a beer. “You sound like a dude from a chick flick. Get your shit together. If you hadn’t been such a fucking mess Y/n would still be here, but she’s not. So, stop whining about it.”

Nikki knew he was right. There was nothing he could do about it anymore. Y/n would probably never come back to him. She was probably halfway around the world doing everything in her power to forget about the dirtbag that broke her heart. He didn’t blame her. She deserved to have her heart mended in any way she chose. 

All that could be done was make sure that he didn’t make the same dumb mistake again. Perhaps it was time for him to get clean and get his life together. It had been time for a long while, Nikki just didn’t want to admit it. 

Maybe if he had Y/n wouldn’t be gone and he wouldn’t hate himself for it. 

You said you cared 

And you missed me, too

And I’m well aware I write too many songs about you

And the coffee’s out 

At the Beachwood Cafe

And it Kills me ‘cause I know we’ve run out of things we can say

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

03. Animals

AU Grace and Simon story. Takes place in the instance that they never got on the train, but crossed paths and became friends. But, for the sake of anyone who wants to view it as a series, I’ll number them. 2095 words TW: violence

 Previous 

Grace got out of the car and strutted to the music shop. She looked around thoughtfully until her driver left, then she left too. Simon was waiting for her at the train stop. Whenever her driver came back in an hour, no, she wouldn’t be there, but this adventure was gonna be worth it. Simon’s dad recently went back to the military and he had made sure his mom had everything she needed for a bit. He and Grace were going to go on a hike around the creek. 

Simon had a map and showed her the areas where there were certain animals, certain bugs and stuff to look out for. She had been hiking many times, just not out here. It was such a nice journey, too. The scenery was pretty and green. She liked water and she and Simon had a play fight where they splashed each other before she took off running and he gave chase. She picked some flowers for them and began tangling them around. “You know, whenever you pick flowers, you shorten their lifespan,” he said.

“I know that they’re just flowers and I don’t care about their life span,” she said.

He laughed, “There are people whose lifespans I don’t even care about, if I’m being honest.” She smiled and nodded. They didn’t need to elaborate. Adults were awful and their parents were the worst and nothing anybody could say would change that fact for them. 

“Here,” she said, and placed a flower crown on top of his head. He posed for her with a duckface and gave her a little shoulder action. “Dainty,” she said, with a smile. Simon plucked another flower and settled it into the side of her curls. Now, it was her turn to strike a pose. 

The sunlight made her skin glow and the flower was the least of the beauty for him. “Beautiful,” he whispered, solemnly. 

 She giggled and nodded, “I know. Just GORGEOUS, I’m sure.” She pulled out a mirror to check herself out, adjusted the flower a little and turned to check her entire face. “Oh! Let’s take a selfie!”  She grabbed her cell phone, and they began to pose together and snap photos. They took turns taking singles of the other too, and eventually stopped for lunch. 

Simon laid a thin blanket down and Grace pulled out the containers of food. They were laughing and talking when Simon froze and Grace turned to see a couple of guys come through the bushes. She raised an eyebrow at Simon’s reaction, then continued eating, electing to ignore them, for now. SImon wasn’t doing such a good job of that, himself.

“Hey. Who’s this?” One of them asked. 

Simon turned red in the face and Grace noticed his breathing increase, but she didn’t stop eating. Instead, she smiled at the guy and said, “The name’s Grace,” and popped a piece of honeydew melon into her mouth. She left off Monroe on purpose. There were times that she would mention it on purpose, but she felt like this was the kind of situation where it would do more harm than good.

The speaking bully came over to her, and she casually finished off her fruit, licking her fork while he moved into her personal space. Simon was furious. It was bad enough whenever they messed with him,  but if they were going to try to mess with Grace too, Simon wasn’t sure what he might do to them. 

“You ought not to be alone with this kid. Sometimes, girls don’t come back whenever they’re left along with him,” he said, reaching towards Grace’s face or hair or… something. None of them were certain what his plans were, but it was quickly looking like he was about to touch her. 

Simon was ready to respond angrily, but before he even had the chance to react, Grace had stabbed the boy in his supporting hand with her fork, then elbowed him in the face with a loud groaning yell. Simon froze for a moment, as did the other two bullies. Everyone but her gasped.

Grace leapt to her feet, effortlessly, reached for her bag, swung it several times and slammed it into the dude’s face. He was screaming and fell, with his head spinning, unable to get up. She withdrew her fork from his hand, and beckoned his friends to her, but they took off running. 

Simon came over smiling, as she reached for the head bully’s collar and pulled him to face her, “What you said about my friend was really mean. Do you see how that could be taken as mean?” He nodded. He was clearly confused and scared. She sounded super sweet in her tone, but what she had just shown him was that she was anything but... “Okay, cool! Then, you know that you did this to yourself.” The much larger boy began to pee on himself and cry. Grace and Simon started laughing at him. 

Grace stopped laughing first and the abrupt way that she did and the look in her eyes terrified the bully even more. “I hate bullies. My dad is a bully. My mom is a bully. If I could, I’d drown them in this creek and hide their bodies. But, I can’t. However… Here YOU are…” Her sweet voice was gone. Her pretenses down. She looked terrifying. Simon was proud to be near her.

“Please… please… don’t…”

“Oh? Does death now somehow mean something to you? It didn’t a moment ago when you so blatantly disrespected the memory of my friend’s poor baby sister who lost her life way too soon. Now, it’s serious, I guess?” He nodded, crying and apologizing. She reached into her bag and pulled out a tube of lipstick. She drew a DO NOT sign on his face and promised him, “If you ever mess with Simon again, I’ll come after you, and next time, it won’t be lipstick. It’ll be my knife.” She opened her knife and stabbed it into the ground beside his head. 

As soon as she let go of him, he crawled first, then pulled himself up as he ran. She watched and laughed. “Nice meeting youuuuu!” 

Her adrenaline was pumping, blood was racing through her system and her heartbeat was loud in her ears and oh so quick. She had never stood up for herself before and it felt stupendous. It was such a rush to FINALLY not be scared or weak. She felt like she could take on the entire world at this moment.

Simon hugged her from behind and she enveloped his arms with hers, coming down only a little at the realization that he was still there with her. Nobody had ever done anything like that for him before, and even though they had been friends, there was still something so moving about her jumping so quickly to defend him.

“Do you think he’ll spread the message, or should we track down the other two?” She wondered, turning in his arms to look at him. 

He looked super excited and they both knew in that moment that their hearts were in the same place. “I think seeing is believing, but experience gives it a little umph. We should track them down!”

She stepped back, took a few more breaths, with this maniacal smile that fit perfectly with Simons’s, turned, sputtered air through her lips, pointed her knife forward and said, “Let’s get them.” 

.

When Grace finally got back to the music shop, covered in dirt and sweat and a few specks of blood from taking turns punching in the face of one of those boys, the driver was upset, but relieved. She had texted him that she got sidetracked, hours ago, but he hadn’t been convinced that she hadn’t finally decided to run away until he saw her and Simon coming back. Simon had a little bit more blood on him and the driver put up his hand and asked, “Do we need to call in someone to clean up after you two?”

Simon laughed and asked, “That’s an option?”

Grace said, “No!” in her most dismissive voice to the driver and slapped Simon playfully, “Simon and I went hiking and whenever we were having a picnic, we got attacked by a few animals.” The way that she said animals was a different tone than the way that she said other things. “We defended ourselves and all is good.” 

Simon laughed, reminiscing. It felt good to finally get those guys back. He’d tried to fight them off before, but they were bigger and outnumbered him and he guessed that some part of him felt like maybe he must’ve deserved it. He fought back because survival instincts made him, but the thought that he didn’t deserve it didn’t even really occur to him until Grace told him so. And the thought of avenging himself probably never would have dawned on him. Grace was… a savior. He looked at her with a twinkle in his eye.

“We’re taking Simon home,” she said.

“We absolutely are not! It’s bad enough you’ve got animal blood on you. Simon has it all over him! He’s not getting into this car.”

“I’ll clean it out, myself!” She said.

“When have you ever cleaned anything?” the driver asked. 

“I shower, every night!” 

“That’s not the same!”

“Grace… I’m gonna be okay. Actually, I think I’m gonna walk home. Kinda feel like being with my thoughts a little bit.” He pulled his hoodie over himself and it covered up the blood, as most of it was on his upper body. “Goodnight.”

“Let me know when you get home safely!” She insisted.

“Will do.”

Whenever the driver opened the door for her, he said, “I find it hard to believe that you and Simon punched predatory animals. Whatever happened today… You need to be careful, Grace. It’s not like you to run off and come back looking like you’ve been in a bare knuckle brawl!”

“It’s not a brawl if they don’t get any shots, amirite? HEYOOOO!” She lifted her hand for a high five. He looked serious. “Look… Just… I’ll tell my parents that there was an impromptu concert, I made the bad decision to go, and I got knocked around in the mosh pit. I read it in a book, so it’s a thing. You don’t have to worry about me getting you into any trouble.” She got into the car and he shut the door. That wasn’t what worried him.

Grace opened her bag. She looked at a few items. A fork, a pair of glasses and an earring. She smiled to herself. Simon had given her two of those things that he snatched off of the boys… as tribute of sorts. She should’ve gotten something off of that big ox, too. The fork was gonna have to do. She was gonna keep these mementos in a special place. 

Simon shoplifted a blank journal. Yeah, he could’ve saved up for it, but also, the owner of the shop was a rich jerk who thought he was suspicious, so in Simon’s mind, might as well give him a reason to hate. He spent a long time in the shower that night. He was sore and filthy. He put everything in the laundry, peeked into his mother’s room. She was snoring and Samantha was practically sitting right on her face. How did Samantha even get in there? Oh well. 

He picked up the flower crown that Grace had made him. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to salvage it, but he took the flowers and wrapped them in wax paper. He’d be able to press them with an iron and have them last for a while. As for the stems, he started to strand them together with some twine and fashioned himself a little hair tie. He hadn’t actually brushed through his hair in a while, but he brushed it back and pulled it into a little tail. 

Most of his hair fell out of the thing, but he didn’t care. Maybe he’d make a bracelet instead? Ugh. Not tonight. He was tired, but... satisfied. He couldn’t remember the last time that he’d crawled into bed feeling so fulfilled. He brought his journal with him and began to write in it about today, but also about Grace, who he also was drawing on the pages, and he was doing so whenever he fell to sleep and had the first night’s peaceful rest that he had gotten in at least two years.

Next

[folktalesandmythsandlegends]

Seleme and Dionysus

So one day Zeus, the king of the Olympian gods, visited Earth and he saw a drop-dead beautiful woman named Semele. Zeus is all like "I have to have her" because Zeus can't control himself. Ever. So he changes his appearance so Hera, his wife and Queen of the Olympians won't find out and keeps it a secret. So Semele and Zeus start to see each other, and everything is great, until Hera finds out about this. Hera, being the jealous wife/sister of Zeus decides that her honor is ruined, and she's so angry that she's out for blood. She has to destroy Semele at all costs. So she disguises herself as a mortal woman. Not just any mortal woman, she is a handmaiden to Semele herself. Hera becomes BFF's with Semele. She does her hair and nails and helps pick out her outfits and likes all her selfies. Of course, Hera is one of the few Olympians who actually thinks about what to do and had formulated a plan. She wanted all the details on Zeus and Semele's relationship.

 So one day while doing each other’s nails Hera asks Semele, “Do you think your boyfriend actually loves you? I heard a rumor he was actually Zeus, is that true?” 

So thinking that they are great friends Semele says, "Listen, Zeus totally loves me. He loves me so much that he promised to do whatever I ask of him to do. He even played that Ain't No Mountain High Enough song for me and it was so romantic. I guess you could say it's pretty serious." 

Hera thinks to herself "Yes! My totally evil plan to defeat Semele and get back at Zeus is going to be better than I thought! I am so awesome and beautiful." So she goes back to Semele and says that if Zeus would do anything for her she should ask him to show off all his awesomeness, the same way he did when he was dating, Hera. And Semele thinks it’s a great idea. 

So Zeus comes by later and is like "Hey babe, how's it going?"

So Semele says everything is great. So later when they are going on a romantic date at the local drive-in movie theatre Semele says "Hey, do you remember that sacred oath you said about doing anything I ask you?"

And he's all like "Sure I remember. What do you want? Do you want to be Queen of Greece? Or more servants and money?" And she says "No. I want to see all your awesomeness the exact same way you did with Hera." Zeus doesn't want to, but because he promised her, he agreed to show off all his power and awesomeness. He has strobe lights, a disco ball, a fog machine, confetti, there was loud music playing in the background. It was too much awesomeness for Semele so she screamed, burst into flame, and died. Zeus knew he was her baby Daddy though so he grabbed the baby she was six months pregnant with, and sewed him into his thigh to hide him from Hera. So Dionysus grows and when it's time for him to be born, Zeus took out the stitches. He then called Hermes over and said "Hera's going to be so ticked if she finds out Dionysus is still alive. So take him to his Aunt Ino and her husband. And to make sure he is super protected makes him look like a girl." Hermes is like "Kay." And does what Zeus said.

Eventually, Hera finds out that Dionysus survived, and she is super ticked. Like ten times as ticked as Zeus thought she would be. She was so ticked that she made Ino and her husband totally crazy. So Zeus took Dionysus and made him a goat. He gave goat Dionysus to some Asian nymphs to take care of, but Hera found him again and made him crazy times 10. So Dionysus is walking around all over the Mediterranean world in places like Egypt and Syria doing these awful crimes like murder and theft when he runs into Rhea, a great goddess, in Phrygia and she makes Dionysus better and forgave him for the bad things he did. She made him the leader of her cult and gave him oriental clothes and an ivy wreath to wear. And he did wear it and never changed. Ever. He taught everyone how to make wine from grapes and how to farm with yolk and ox. People joined his cult, and everyone was happy.

Well most everyone. This dude named Lycurgus, a King of Thrace did not like Dionysus' cult so he didn't let Dionysus sit with him at the plastic’s table, and imprisoned his followers. Dionysus did not like that, so he made Lycurgus so crazy he thought his son was a grapevine that needed pruning, and he murdered his son by chopping off his arms and legs. So the moment Lycurgus' son died he realized what he had done. But Dionysus was not done. He made all of Thrace barren for such a long time that Lycurgus went to go see an oracle. The King was all like "I must have ticked off Dionysus a lot. What do I need to do to make Thrace lush again?" The oracle responded, "You need to die, idiot." So because the king didn't want to die he tried to keep it a secret. And naturally, because it was a secret, everybody in the kingdom found out and they all killed him. It was a mass meeting of 1-800-choke dat hoe. 

So then Dionysus went to Thebes, and a profit told the King Pentheus that if he had to do all the religious rites for Dionysus. If he didn't, then all the mothers would tear their children's arms and legs off and decorate the woods with the limbs. Pentheus' own mother would kill him that way. But Pentheus didn't believe him. So Dionysus arrives, and the party doesn’t start till he walks in. So everyone in Thebes is having a party and doing the Dionysus cult thing, and King Pentheus gets word of that. Now Pentheus is really angry. He goes around yelling at everyone and saying that he thought Thebes would have had to be taken by force of an army. “It would at least be more honorable than this!” 

So he’s ticked off and demands that Dionysus be captured to determine if he is a fake. But Pentheus’ bros tried to change his mind, but it just made Pentheus even angrier. So his guards went out to try to find Dionysus, but they couldn’t find him because everyone, EVERYONE was too turnt, so they grabbed one of Dionysus’ priests because the guards were afraid to return to the king empty-handed. 

So Pentheus roasts Dionysus in front of the priest when the priest decides to tell Pentheus the story of how he met Dionysus. 

“It’s like this.” He said. “I was a pirate on a ship when the ship got stuck? So me and my crew spent the night and the next morning we woke up and we were thirsty so we went to go look for water, right? So then this dude wearing purple just shows up on the beach! So my crew got together without me and said “dudes I think this guy is a Prince! We could make a fortune if we sold him!” Right? So they go ashore and this guy is high or turnt, or almost asleep so it should have been easy to chain him right? Wrong! No matter how they tried to put the chains on they kept falling off. They were seriously tripped up by this. But somehow they got him on our boat, and I saw him and was like “This guy looks like a god, and that thing with the chains, he has to be a god.” So then I was yelling at my crew like “Dudes, this guy is a god for real for real! He even looks like a god, and you can’t see that? You might have captured Zeus, or his bro Poseidon, or Zeus’ son Apollo, fools! We can’t take him, ya’ll are trippin,” but my captain was like “Nah bro, you’re crazy just make like Miley Cyrus and Do Your Thing, and we’ll deal with this guy. This dude is rich, not immortal, but the gods must have sent him here to make us rich, you know what I’m saying?” 

“So right then the dude wakes up, and is like “Where am I, how did I get here?” But the captain was like “You can hitch a ride with us. Where do you want to go?” So the dude said, “My home is on the island of Naxos.” So the captain was like “Lit, we’ll take you there.” But I knew that this fool was lying, so I didn’t do my job. So the captain made someone else steer the ship. So we are sailing when Purple dude says “Wait we’re not heading towards Naxos! How could you? I came out to have a good time and honestly, I’m feeling so attacked right now.” Then the ship stopped right there, like no movement, like it was dead. So we’re sitting there when suddenly homie points to the sail because there is a grapevine growing, but with vines of ivy growing and a bunch of other fruit and everything was getting covered and then it started to smell sweet, and the deck started to get covered in wine, and everyone was terrified, I mean terrified. We all looked at the purple dude who was really angry. He had on a wreath of ivy and grapes and was shaking a pole called a thyrsi that was covered in ivy and grapevines. Then all these animals appeared out of nowhere by his feet. Like a lynx a tiger and a panther. Then Yogi bear showed up and he was angry, and the dude was too. So he changed into this huge lion and killed the captain. So now everyone is running around trying to find a way to get away, ‘cuz this was some messed up stuff. They were tearing away vines to try to get to the oars that wouldn’t move, when their hands turned to fins, straight up! So they are all trying to jump overboard now, and as soon as they hit the water, BOOM! They were dolphins, for real! Nineteen of my bros became nineteen dolphins. So the young dude turns back into himself and was like “You’re cool, so I saved you. By the way I’m the son of Zeus, Dionysus.” So that was that, and since then me and my Immortal bro Dionysus are tight. And we get more mortal followers all the time, straight up.” 

Pentheus was ticked off. “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US! Take him away and beat him up, then kill him for that stupid story!” 

So the guards were preparing his torture and saying to each other that they needed to let him go, when suddenly there was an earthquake, and the door opened and the chains fell and the priest walked out with a fog machine blowing smoke behind him. So the guards ran up to Pentheus and told him what happened. And Pentheus was like “Am I the only one that can do things the right way?” So he goes out and starts stalking Dionysus and all his followers on Facebook and Twitter, and Tumblr, and Pinterest, etc. He wants to know how Dionysus gets all his followers and friends. So he is looking at the likes and spying on them in a tree because he had gotten so mad at hearing the hysteric songs and shrill screams. He keeps looking and watching, trying to figure out how to defeat this “boy” when his mother sees him in the tree. She gets so mad at the fact that he is spying on all Dionysus’ followers and watching them do their rites and rituals that she takes out her iStone 11 and calls her friends to help her chase this boar that is destroying the land. So Pentheus runs like a mad man, but the women are so much faster and they catch him and cut off his hands. Pentheus starts to yell out to his mother in a desperate attempt for her to recognize him, but just like Lycurgus before her, she didn’t recognize her own son. He begged her, but she said the last words Pentheus ever heard. “This trophy of the hunt is mine!”  So she cut off his head and put it on a thyrsus and scattered his body everywhere. Later at the party, she realized what she did and showed everyone. They were so afraid, but Dionysus had taken over their kingdom and everyone was happy. Well except for Hera who was angry that Dionysus could turn people to dolphins and make mothers and fathers kill their own children. Everywhere he went she tried to stop him by punishing everyone else, but she never directly punished Dionysus. Dionysus continued on his road trip to get more followers. He even went back to Naxos and married a girl named Ariadne. On one of the last of his travels, he went down into a Burning Ring of Fire, also known as Hades, or the underworld. In the underworld, he found his mother Semele, who he renamed Thyone. He brought her up to Mt. Olympus to live happily ever after. 

The version of this myth was taken from Mythology and You: Classical Mythology and Its Relevance To Today’s World by Donna Rosenberg and Sorelle Baker

Notes

Some versions of the myth cite Semele as a princess of Thebes, some not only say she was a princess but the daughter of the founders of Thebes, Cadmus, Prince of Thrace brother to Europa, and Harmonia, who was the daughter of Ares and Aphrodite. A scholarly analysis of another version says Semele could have been a priestess. 

In other versions of the myth, after the “second birth” of Dionysus, instead of giving Dionysus to Ino and her husband, Zeus had Hermes give him to the nymphs of Nysa where he stayed until manhood. Another version says Dionysus was given to Ino and her younger sister Argave who eventually betrayed Dionysus. Ino was punished, most likely by Zeus, by making her go mad and jumping into the sea with her own son where they were saved by the sea nymphs and stayed forever helping sailors.

In another version of this myth, when Dionysus made his way to Thrace, Lycurgus still opposed the worship Dionysus was leading, insulted, and set out to capture Dionysus. However, Dionysus retreated to the ocean only to return later and defeat Lycurgus. As punishment, Dionysus  imprisoned him in a cave until he went mad and realized Dionysus was a god whence Zeus struck Lycurgus blind. Lycurgus died soon after.

Almost every version talkies about the pirates who captured Dionysus, but it varies on how. One version says that Dionysus hired the Pirates after retreating to the ocean from Lycurgus and coming up on the wrong side. Other versions say he was taken while conscience and cocky and others say he was fast asleep when captured. One aspect that remains consistent is the fact that Dionysus was going to be used to get money either via ransom or sold into slavery in Egypt or other lands and at least one person objected to this arguing he might be a god. All versions have Dionysus making the sailors go bonkers.

The “Asian Nymphs” are most likely from Persia or Asia Minor which is modern day Turkey. This is my own educated guess based on the idea that, according to the myth, he wandered in that region.

Some versions have Dionysus travel as far as India.

After leaving Nysa a version of the Myth has him travel to Crete to grant Midas’ wish to turn everything he touches to gold. Chronologically, I am uncertain as to when Dionysus granted Midas’ wish, but the myth of King Midas does have Dionysus grant the wish. 

Naxos, Thrace, Thebes, and Phrygia are not close together and on a map this is clearly seen. Ultimately, this was the reason I choose to start my Greek Myths with this story. We can see the sphere of influence that the Hellenic world had on the the surrounding area and get a better idea on how large the Hellenic area is even if the majority of the myth only takes place in the Aegean.

Yellow-Thrace

Red- Thebes

Purple- Naxos

Blue- Phrygia (slightly more south east than placed but unable to be seen from the above map.)

Sources Referenced

D’aularies’ Book Of Greek Myths by Ingri and Edgar Parin D’aularie’s

Mythology And You: Classical Mythology and Its Relevance To Today’s World by Donna Rosenberg and Sorelle Baker

Mythology: Timeless Tales Of Gods and Heroes by Edith Hamilton

Tales Of The Greek Heroes by Roger Lancelyn Green

[inikavulpixelreviews]

Let’s Talk About Pokemon - The Scorbunny Family

813: Scorbunny

Here's a starter with a bit more life to them! While we've gotten rabbits before, Scorbunny here is already standing out from previous bunnies, even if it's a lot more usual or just plain cute. And another instance of the now rare, black, animalistic dot-eyes! Sorry I feel the need to point it out every dang time but the more I've reviewed these Pokemon the more I've realized I really miss Pokemon that have more “realistic” eyes vs the now much more usual anime eyes.

Scorbunny feels a lot more in-line with Starter Pokemon design philosophy than Grookey did. A simple yet iconic and easy to recognize design, while being a fairly simple and every-day animal. With just enough touch of uniqueness to set them apart from other starters. I do like the bit where its ears conjoin at the very tippy top of the head. It's stylization more than anything, but it still helps to create a striking silhouette while still being very noticably “rabbit.”

Also I swear this design was specifically crafted to make all the people that cry “FIRE/FIGHTING” lose their collective minds. The band-aid on its nose helps to emphasize its playful and go-gettem type of personality. They even generate heat for Scorbunny! But gosh do they scream “Fighting type.”

Personal Score: 6/10

814: Raboot

Then there's Raboot... and we can already really see where this line is going. Scorbunny had slight hints of it, but Raboot very clearly has a hoodie made of its own fur, supposedly making up a tracksuit. That combined with its grumpy demeanor really feels like they really heard that “awkward teenager” comment everyone and their mother has made toward the Starters middle stages and just leaned into it super hard.

I think most of its appeal comes from its personality for me, really. I can take or leave the design, but the way it walks around with its hands in its hoodie pockets in Pokemon Camp is genuinely a fun little animation. Plus the way it gets excited when you do something to please it, but then it quickly recomposes itself and acts all “Yeah, whatever mom. That's cool I guess.” about it. It keeps Raboot from falling into absolute mediocrity for me.

The Fire starter theme is probably the most obvious of the three, and it's pretty hard to deny at this point in the series. Pokemon is creating its own little fire Zodiac! With Charizard very clearly being a dragon. Typhlosion is the biggest stretch, but the line is supposedly the representative of The Rat, with them being rodents. Blaziken as The Rooster, Infernape as The Monkey, and Emboar as The Pig. Delphox is a stand-in for The Dog, which works since foxes are still canines. And finally Incineroar as The Tiger. So obviously, we got the Scorbunny family here representing The Ox.

So what is gonna happen if Pokemon makes it to Gen 13 and we're out of Zodiac animals to make into Fire starters? I guess the logical next step is to just start over again and make another Dragon. Though out of the Zodiacs yet to make it into Pokemon, I think I'm personally most excited to see a fire Ox, Horse, or Snake. If nothing else simply because those animals are least likely to get turned into anthros.

Personal Score: 5.5/10

815: Cinderace

Speaking of which, ehhh. Okay look, I do like Cinderace a bit. In the same way I like any other competently made anthro animal design but. Come on, really? Another athletic anthro Fire starter? Those are making up well over half of the overall Fire starter representation, guys. Can we PLEASE get a bit of new material? You're making an unashamed furry tired of seeing furries. How do you even do that???

As far as anthro rabbits go, I like it enough and I'm amused by its stumpy little arms and even tinier paws. Which is accurate to a rabbit's forelimb to hind-limb ratio. I just think we've officially hit the point of too many dang furries, and my Fire Starter fan friends have regularly complained about no Fire Starter just staying quadruped.

My prime problem with Cinderace is that short arms aside, it looks too much like a dude in a fursuit but also in a bit of a soccer getup. Football doesn't really even have all that much to do with rabbits, anyway. It's not as tightly themed around soccer by taking the fact that it's a rabbit into account. Like they thought process of designing it only started and ended at “Fire soccer rabbit.” and never changed from there.

Also I’m not sure what that mess of a head crest is supposed to be. At first it made me think Cinderace was supposed to be a marching band leader or something but that’s clearly not meant to be the idea here. What are you doing there, mysterious face nubbins?

And lemme be clear here: I rather dislike this relatively new trend of judging a Pokemon's design quality by an arbitrary metric of how “furbait” it is. Not just because it sorta stinks of anti-furry but also because it implies that anthro designs are inherently worse. Which is very much not the case! Just look at these 'mons! All of them get lumped into the “furbait” pile, but are pulling off anthropomorphic animal designs in a neat and unique way that's very different from the “dude in a fursuit” look (which even then, isn't automatically a bad look. I sung my praises for Incineroar too.) Their designs are in no way hampered by being anthro. Heck, I'd argue they'd not be quite as good if they weren't anthro.

Personal Score: 6/10

Maybe that's far too much complaining for a 6/10-er. AGAIN it's fine. I'm just bored with furry fire starters at this point. But even if Cinderace came out in an earlier gen, I'd probably still not be all that impressed with it.

[Archive]

[bonesandpoemsandflowers]

Hey! I am asking for advice. I fucked up a few years ago at the telling apart ghosts and gods and would rather not go through that again. Could you help me out? I really want to get back into it but that was a very bad experience so I'm anxious. Thank you!!

Anon, I love this question and if you're willing to drop some more details in my inbox, anon or not, please do. I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience, but take heart, maybe, that everybody does this at SOME point, and taking a few years off to process is actually a pretty snappy turnaround time.

(spooky occult people only pls)

(scroll along, the rest of you)

It IS a tricky question, though.

Tough love up front: there is no entirely safe, entirely pleasant way to do magic. Fundamentally magic is transformative and therefore often uncomfortable. There's fears and negative emotions to work through, and there's also just some straight up tedium and drudgery, and no matter how cool you are, no matter how sure you feel about your place in the grand scheme of the universe, you will eventually question everything and get some things wrong. There will not only always be risk: sooner or later there will be pain.

But! Is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY, anon, and I'm not gonna try to persuade you because if you're asking, you've already made up your mind. You just want to not make the same mistakes over again. You want to make brand new mistakes! It is the only way to move forward.

There is a difference between the merely uncomfortable and the truly dangerous, so ultimately it's a game of knowing when fear is a just a trial to get through versus when fear is a warning keeping you safe. The first time I tried to answer this question I made a quick list of protections, but that's not really the issue. You're wiser than that. You're asking about something diagnostic.

Discernment is the greatest occult skill and one that’s difficult to quantify. It's one of those paradoxes of inexperience, nigh impossible to hone without practice, yet a skill you need in order to get out there and practice.

whatever your prior experience was: what did you learn from it? what was the point where you started to feel something went wrong? identifying that moment, how it felt, how you felt it, will help you more than anything I or anyone else can tell you.

I am, honestly, not the best person to describe how to increase your psychic sensitivity or whatever. The good news, maybe, is that you don't have to be great at discernment before you start. Yes, you can put all your effort into sharpening your senses before you even go out there, which is a noble way of doing it and maybe it will eventually even work, OR—you can put on some safety gear and wade out into the swamp wearing your little floaties so that you don't sink.

Your metaphorical swimming wings here are protections and banishments and the preemptive assistance of something bigger than you on your side. This answer is mostly going to focus on that last part, because "ghosts and gods" implies, I think, that you are ready to work with gods, or at least eager, which is, like, at least half of the process.

However, even then, I do wanna say—while I don't want to discount your negative experiences at all! I don't know anything about them, but I'm sure it was awful!—you, all by yourself, can probably banish most ghostly things you're likely to run into. There's a lotta bark, and usually not that much bite. I wrote up some less formal banishing methods and posted them here on ye old witch blogge, but really, you can mostly just yell at stuff to leave.

(there is a fair amount of repetition between this post and that one! I apologize. I mostly typed these late at night over the course of several days)

Now! Assistance. An ounce of prevention vs a pound of cure and it’s good to pack light.

So much of magic across time and cultures is about negotiating with spirits of some flavor or another. Maybe it's worship or maybe it's bindings or maybe it's strictly transactional, but as beings made of flesh we are forever making pacts with beings made of something else, and hey, it usually works.

The complication here is that the distinction between ghosts and gods maybe isn't that simple. Mess with the wording a little and Catholic saints are basically both. And so are some orisha, some loa, and so on. Baron Samedi (lord of the cemetery, best bang since the big one, etc etc etc) in particular, out of the vodou pantheon, may or may not have been human once, depending on who you ask.

Further: the most readily available spooky occult forces you have are your ancestors. So you'd file that under ghosts, maybe, except that with ancestral veneration practices and all, we inch closer to god territory, in a sense. At least—the rituals start looking the same from an outside perspective. Santeria, Vodou, Epiritismo and many more practices that the ones I'm familiar with involve working with your ancestors to accomplish your worldly goals. We don't consider them ghosts when we work with them; that's not the word we use. But arguably—why not?

So the trick here isn't necessarily how to sort ghosts from gods as much as it is to hang out with some NICE (to you) ghosts and/or gods.

How do you do that?

If you have a good relationship with your ancestors, then you start there. If you, like me, or lots of other long disowned and disinherited magicians, have a disconnect there, then—welp. Consider getting over it by going back further in the family tree (this is what you will inevitably eventually do). Somewhere in there you have someone kind, I promise. But that's not advice I could have followed ten years ago, so I'll get to the alternative in a minute. Let's assume, for the moment, that you accept the logic that your ancestors have a vested interest in protecting their line, and in fact having an active magic user willing to work with them probably makes their afterlives much easier.

There's tons of guides online about how to work with your ancestors. I think sincere, unstructured prayer and a glass of water are the simplest and most powerful of offerings. A candle, if you have one. Just flipping on a lamp or a light switch if you don't.

(I travel with a little LED tealight and a mala made of skull beads carved from ox bone, but I am unnecessarily spooky and dramatic. If anything, my ancestors prefer the plain obsidian mala I first started with. But the aesthetic.)

I'm very, very informal in my ancestral practice. It still works.

Tell them you want to establish a working connection, talk to them about what's going on in your life. Keep it short and don't worry about whether or not you feel anything yet. It might take weeks before you feel something, and that's okay—discernment is, like I've said, the most important but also hardest skill, and it usually takes time and repetition. Offer them something—anything, really, and honestly the plain glass of water is traditional—and ask for their protection. They will almost certainly give it to you.

"But Flowers," you might say. "Fuck that and fuck 'em. I'm not ready to fuck with my family yet."

Alright, little one! I feel ya. It took me ages to warm up to the idea. I promise that it's worth it when you're ready, but having covered ghosts, let's move on to

GODS

Step one: ask yourself if you need to fuck around with gods in the first place.

Step two: fuck around and find out.

Step three varies depending on who you're looking for. There is a great deal of anxiety about this in occult circles, especially among people who use the term "baby witch." People are terrified of making the wrong choice. They want it to be PERFECT. They want to be correct. "Who is calling me?" ask a thousand seekers, across forums and places. "I saw a butterfly the other day. IS IT A SIGN?"

(shit, dude, I dunno, probably not, but potentially maybe. Nobody can know but you. just keep in mind that butterflies etc exist on their own and go around doing their own thing and this has absolutely nothing to do with you the vast majority of the time)

You don't need to be wait to be called by a god to offer worship and/or develop a working relationship. I would argue that most people aren't really called, and if you are, you will KNOW. Tumblr likes to say gods need consent and I think that's fucking hilarious. There is no folkloric precedent for that. If you are Called, capital letter Called, you will know, and whatever happens next is between you whatever bizarre shamanic experience you end up having, because you WILL have it, good luck.

But probably that's not the issue here! Moving on with our hypothetical.

You're not waiting around for divine intervention. You're being proactive. You're not waiting for The Call, or even a mild call. How do you choose what god you're petitioning for protection? I doubt you're entirely neutral about it. You probably have a god you identify with or just find really friggin cool. That's a fine and dandy place to start.

The working relationship need not be forever.

Which brings me to my next point. If you are absolutely undecided about what direction to go in, consider going to one of the liminal gods. Your crossroads gods, your messenger gods, often trickster gods. Your between spaces gods. Your portal opening gods.

In Santeria and Vodou, which I keep on referring back to because those are the systems I was raised in, your messenger gods get called very early on in the ritual. Why? To open the way for everybody else. There's a suggestion here that certain gods are closer or more easily reached, so if you want an opener—ask somebody with keys, yeah?

(also technically there's spirits called before then like the rhythm/dance/drums but let's not complicate things. Broadly speaking: key holding gods first)

Catholic saints wise, you've got Saint Peter, right? Santeria has Elegua. Vodou has Legba. Vodou also has the Baron as a crossroads god and yer liminal spaces god and sometimes he also has keys and hey by the way, he's really great, but where was I?

Hermes is another option. Mercury.

There's a bunch of American indigenous options I don't know enough about to confidently say.

SPEAKING of indigenous american, right, there's always Quetzalcoatl—technically—sky god, wind god, messenger god.

There's Odin and I'm actually a big fan, but the Norse magic community is often kind of garbage these days because we've got too many nazis running around, which is a shame.

My point is: there's gonna be somebody who feels close, either because of your cultural background or your aesthetic, and you might as well ask.

Settle down. Call their name. Offer water and a prayer and ask for protection, tell them what it is you want to do, ask for their help on this new life journey.

Worship isn't really complicated unless you want it to be.

Again, don't worry about "feeling" anything. Don't expect anything dramatic. Just offer something, every day or every week or whenever you have the time and headspace for it. Do the motions and mean it even a little bit and with time the rest shall come.

Because EVENTUALLY, you will feel something. It will probably be a mild sense of peace. The ritual feels calming. Something about it feels cozy. Presence is often subtle, but that counts.

Once you feel solidly good about your ritual, I would say that means you have at least some degree of protection, and it's time to wade around the swamp and see what's up. What do you do next? I dunno! I don't know what your goals are! But you have your ancestors at your back, or you're on a god team, or maybe BOTH—go explore!

Confidence isn't everything. But confidence, my friend, is a LOT. There's more to it, of course, but especially early on: fake it till you make it and dream it and you'll be it.

Best of luck, anon. <3

[jq37]

thoughts on this week's ep?

**spoilers for broadway brawl**

***Before we start, I remembered as I was typing this one of the important notes I lost from last week’s recap: Interesting that Christmas seemingly went off without a hitch. I expected Santa to come back into play somehow (like, someone would check on him to make sure Christmas was still on or he’d call them in to help or something) but he hasn’t, at least not yet.***

My guys, my guys, my guys. Was that something or was that something?

I think I am on record as saying that combat is my least favorite part of ttrpgs generally speaking because I’m here for the RP but when a combat episode shines it really freaking shines (see eg: that first combat ep of Bloodkeep where everyone went full Galaxy Brain except for Matt who couldn’t hit a single thing) and this is such a good example. This is easily a top five ep of the season for me, maybe top three so let’s get into it and break down why it was so awesome.

We start right where we left off with Titania and members of her court having come into the theater to beat the tar out of Misty mid-show.

Quick note: At the end of last ep, it was set up so that Misty was thrust on stage right after hearing the mirror was on stage which would place this fight right at the top of Act 2 but at the start of this ep, Brennan seems to indicate that it’s taking place during what would be the closing number. Which would make more sense but imagine you go see a play, the first act is super dope, and then the second act is an insane, minute long fight that’s pretty unconnected to the plot and then a buff, naked, beautiful man tells you the show is over and you should leave. Wild. Anyway.

Pixies with tommy guns in inherently funny.

So one of the things that makes this fight really great is the way it directly ties into the story in a way besides “These bad guys are in our way.” Misty is using this show as a part of her reincarnation spell so if the show is messed up, it fails and she’s on her last life. Brennan has a cool mechanic of making her roll death saves every round at a difficulty lower than her modifier (which is s/t crazy like 11) but that gets harder with damage done to her and performance checks failed by other players who decide to jump on stage. It’s a great way to make the battle feel like it has more personal stakes and it’s my fave original Brennan mechanic since the Family in Flames Sophie’s Choice situation.

(I love that the death save counter is changed for theater comedy/tragedy masks for this. Nice touch.)

Em, Esther, and Wally are also at the fight which is clutch.

Also, Sondheim is specifically here which is an insane detail to add just because.

WILD that no one knows what’s going on with the ritual initially because, as Lou almost does, getting all the civilians out is the smart move and it would COMPLETELY ruin Misty’s plans instantly.

Lou having Kingston take the stairs bc’s he’s 50+ years old and has no time for that nonsense has equal but opposite energy to him doing extra rolls for Fabian to do unnecessary parkour before a simple attack because Fabian’s Like That.

Murph fireblasts the hell out of Titania’s foot soldiers right off the bat from outside of counterspell range which is very cool.

“Give me a performance check for the cockroach.”

“You’re upstaging me bitch?”

Another great thing about this fight is that because of it’s theatrical nature, everyone’s RPing it more than a usual battle ep (or more intensely maybe is what I mean).

Titania hypnotizes Don Confetti and his goons into fighting for her.

“She doesn’t know she’s in a play but she does sing most of her dialogue which is helpful for you.” Titania is just Like That.

Pete drops an erupting earth and drops a sick 37 damage on those same minions Kug got.

I didn’t notice before but yeah, Ally does roll die like a f-ing beyblade champion.

Emily hearing Murph’s low key, offhand comments and cracking up is great.

“Get Sondheim!” (Emily and then Ally: WHAT?!)

Actual living dude Stephen Sondheim being involved in this fight is just so ridiculous and fun and crazy.

We go around to Misty’s turn and she has to beat a 28 (upped from 10) and she fails which feels worse than a normal failed death save somehow.

Lou, in a very good RP move, tells Pete to tell Misty to end the show so she can tell them not to so the group has a valid reason to not evacuate which is a thing they (or at least him and Ricky) would obviously want to do.

Sophie, the madwoman, jumps out of the balcony, grabs a costume, then runs on stage. Emily’s glee at being told that her grabbing the costume will give her advantage is great. She’s always trying to figure out how to make the most of her moves. She is the living embodiment of the concept of method to madness (which is from Hamlet since we’re talking Shakespeare today). 

Ox is constantly dying (Brennan!) but also it’s like, why was he even there before the fight started? I’ve never seen a non-service dog in a theater.

Ricky: Is this part of it?

Oh, forgot to mention that everything that happens on stage is kinda shielded by the Umbral Arcana so everyone watching thinks it’s part of the show, which is a cool plot detail.

Ricky gets fULLY NAKED (Emily, with perfect comic timing: Now do I roll with disadvantage?) and leaps into the fray. He casts Protection from Evil and Good on her which (1) He does by Magic Mike body-rolling on her while he’s naked and considering how much shorter she is that her raises some interesting questions about positioning and (2) is the most clutch use of this spell I’ve seen in a while. It’s a spell I always wanna take as a Paladin because it makes sense character-wise, but I’ve never been able to actually use it because we’re never fighting fiends, fae, or celestial.

Brennan’s dime change change reversal of the critic’s comments on Ricky’s body rolls when Zac re-rolls his 11 makes me glad I never had to face him in a debate team setting.

Ally: What’s Esther’s deal ;)/Brennan: *Esther’s Weapon Stats*

“Your only secret you’ve ever had in your life is that you have a crush on her.”

Wally has a beautiful singing voice and a working knowledge of Midsummer's which is wild.

Lou’s periodic, “My man”’s when Ally/Pete does something cool. He’s very dialed into being Kingston.

Ricky’s aura keeps everyone near him from being charmed and Misty saves everyone else w/ a nat 20 counterspell. Few things in D&D are more satisfying than a well executed counterspell.

Titania trying to get Pete to be her consort or something when he just over the super posh Priya is very funny.

“I mean between me and Sondheim, get Sondheim!”

“DO WE HAVE HOMEWORK TONIGHT?” (“We did have homework.”)

Anyway, Misty has one success now!

Misty tries to use puppet to get Titania to drop her crown and it doesn’t work. Brennan says the crown is Crown of Stars which I looked up and it’s actually a spell, not a physical crown, but I’m assuming he used the mechanical effects of the spell on a physical item.

Brennan doing all these musical/singing bits when he absolutely doesn’t have to. I love it.

I love Ricky and Sophie being the two martial fighting heavy hitters of the group. Like, the two fighters, having the spellcasters’ backs.

I hope the one kung fu fan in the back of the theater never sees another Broadway show again because he’s gonna be so disappointed. 

“I’m just so inspired by that beautiful penis.”

Murph, out of character, verbally acknowledging how insane what they’re doing is. I love when someone pauses in a game of D&D to just recite what’s currently happening out of context so everyone can appreciate how crazy it is. D&D. Gotta love it..

Emily and Siobhan have a quick conversation in the background about whether Sondheim did Les Mis or not (not, that’s Claude-Michel Schönberg) while Brennan and Murph are Ring nonsense.

I also was mildly suspicious of Alyssa so I’m glad Kingston checked her out.

The entire roast of Brennan when he’s selecting D6s is an instantly iconic D20 moment. I can’t do it justice. You kinda just have to see it.

“Someone call Wizards of the Coast!”

Em, Wally, and Alyssa go out when Titania puts out a huge spell that blinds Kug.

“Yummy, yummy, tastes like ass.”

On Misty’s next turn, she rolls a fail which makes it 2 failures to 1 success. Brennan mentions that a nat 1 counts as 2 failures and a nat 20 counts as 2 successes. I’m sure that won’t be relevant later because you can’t foreshadow things when dice rolls are completely random.

Misty fails on puppet again again and Titania goes full Wicked Witch of the West on her and starts Jonesing for those shoessss.

Emily’s Emily(tm) move of the session is doing a flying leap at Titania, hitting her with a stunning strike and having Brennan retract the Box off Doom he was pulling out because she can’t save when she’s stunned. She just plummets out of the sky.

Don Confetti respecting the sacrament of marriage as he goes full Opera ghost and tries to garrote Sophie.

Ricky (still naked) grabs the crown from Titania, tosses it to Misty, and, with some improv and a good charisma roll, makes the show suddenly make sense to the very confused but entertained audience.

I’m so glad that Murph decided to turn into a bear and that they made the Winter’s tale ref. I should have had faith in Brennan and Siobhan, the theater nerds. Exit pursued by a bear y’all.

Lou and Emily bonding over being proud of their die for rolling well when they lend it out for a big roll.

Really wish Pete had wild magic surged in this fight. Just to add that extra bit of chaos. 

With a very good turn (no damage taken, no performances failed) Misty only has to avoid snake eyes to get through this turn. She leapfrogs over that low bar and rolls a nat 20, instantly fulfilling her win condition. At this point, the play is superfluous and Titania is still down.

“Brennan lost and now he knows reddit is gonna eat his ass.”

OK, remember how I said earlier that Misty seems like the kind of character you nudge a little temptation at just to spice things up? Yeah, her killing Titania and getting the crown of the Seelie Fae makes me a liiiitle apprehensive, but we’ll see how that turns out.

“I killed my queen! This is America we don’t have royalty here.”

“Bear, I don’t know who you are, but take me on your back, let me ride on stage.” —creator of West Side Story, Stephen Sondheim

Misty charms the critic at the show to make sure they get a good review which is such a fae thing to do.

Kingston’s clearly not loving attacking Don and Co. post “real fight” what with his whole Do No Harm thing (well, that’s Dr’s but same principle applies I assume) is a good character detail. For that matter, so is Ricky just taking Titania’s crown and not beheading her which he super could have done while she was down but it would have been very incongruous with everything else about him.

Brian “This isn’t Loony Tunes” Murphy throws Sondheim as a projectile weapon at a pixie who snaps the pixie’s neck and then does a monologue at the audience.

I love it when someone rolls low on an insight check and Brennan gives them useless info and then they repeat it in their character’s voice.

4 mins from the end of the ep, Siobhan realizes there are two Perrys in this story for the first time and has a bigger reaction to that than almost everything else in this ep except her nat 20.

Ricky looks for costume faun legs to cover his fully out dick instead of costume pants or even his own pants.

Misty starts glowing with reincarnation energy and she runs into her dressing room for privacy. Also, she still super hasn’t told anyone what’s going on. (ALSO, assuming she’s gonna make the world think she died, it’s gonna be wild for the company of the show to have their leading lady put on the performance of her life and then die on opening night).

“Who am I to refuse a crown when it’s placed so deftly upon my head?”

You know that behind the scenes thing where Brennan is like, “Yeah, I knew Siobhan was gonna steal that book,”? I got some of those vibes during the crown scene.

The implications of what Misty did are gonna be left until next ep but Brennan says something about her creating her own court and it looks like she’s recruiting followers in the promo. IDK how I feel about that (these stories tend to have great power--especially tied to powerful magical items--as a corrupting force) but I am very excited to see how it goes down! See you then!

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z 193

I’m going to lead off with the top story here.    So the gang has one more wish to use, and no one knows what to do with it, so Yamcha suggests letting him have it so he can wish for an expensive necklace for his girlfriend.   

I was honestly surprised to see this, because for years I was under the impression that this was a dub thing, but apparently not.    He said it in the Japanese version too.    So I just want to pass that along.   

Anyway, Krillin speaks up and asks Shenron if he can change 17 and 18 back into normal humans.   But Shenron can’t, because they’re far too powerful for him to do that.   

But he can remove the bombs from their bodies, so Krillin wishes for that instead.   When asked why, he explains that he he feels bad for them, and wanted them to have a chance to live a normal life.    If they can’t be human again, at least they don’t have to worry about exploding.

Meanwhile, 18 returned to the Lookout without their noticing, and she heard Krilin’s wish, so she starts patting herself down, as if she’s checking for the bomb.    “Not in my boob, and my right hip is clear, so yeah, I guess it worked.”

Krillin then apologizes for stepping on Yamcha’s plans to wish for a necklace, further confirming that this was part of the Japanese script.     Wow.    This is wild.   

So everyone wonders why Krillin bothered worrying about 17 in is wish.   Isn’t he dead?    Well, no, Shenron wished all of Cell’s victims back to life on the previous wish, so that would include 17, who was killed when Cell blew himself up.    Krillin explains that while he is fond of 18, she seemed happier with 17, so he’s stepping aside for what he thinks is her best interests.   

So 18 jumps out and tells Krillin that 17′s her twin brother, so he’s got it all wrong.   I never considered it from 18′s perspective before, but yeah, she probably didn’t like hearing people talk about her dating her own brother.    

The main takeaway here s that 18′s single, so Krillin’s got a shot here.    Yamcha could have put it more delicately, but he’s still right.  

But 18′s not exactly friendly to Krillin, until she turns back and says “See you later” to him, which might be the same thing she said to him that day when she kissed him, now that I think about it.   Anyway, she leaves.

Yamcha is even more certain that Krillin’s got a strong chance with her, and Krillin nearly strangles him in his desperation.   That’s awesome. 

Then Tien’s like “This is awkward.   I’m leaving now.    We’ll never meet again.”

Trunks plans to return to his own timeline tomorrow morning, and Piccolo plans to remain on the Lookout, which seems odd because this was never mentioned before, but everyone speaks of it like they discussed this earlier.  

As they leave, Yamcha tells Trunks what happened to Vegeta after Trunks got killed. 

And Trunks takes a lot of comfort from this.    You know, this scene didn’t leave much of an impression on me in the dub, but for some reason, seeing it in Japanese, it feels more effective.     Like this was what Trunks had been wanting the whole time, and now he’s finally gotten it.    I’m not sure what the difference would be.  

Gohan returns home and breaks the news to Chi-Chi, and this is pretty tough to watch.    Gohan and Ox King try to put a positive spin on Goku’s death, but he’s still dead.    I don’t care if Gohan can “feel” his presence or whatever.   That’s cold comfort to Chi-Chi.   He’s her husband for goodness’ sake.  

The next day, Trunks gets a haircut, changes into his old clothes, says goodbye to his parents...

... and heads back home.   

While Gohan sees him off, he feels a tap on his shoulder, and it’s Goku, watching him from beyond the grave.   

About a month later, we check in on everyone.    Gohan beats up a pterodactyl who tries to steal his fish.    My favorite bit here is that Gohan offers the dude a few chances to back off, and the pterodactyl actually shakes his head “no” in response.    Talk about asking for trouble.   

Trunks (the baby) learns to walk, but whenever he falls down he waves off anyone who tries to pick him up, because he’s his father’s son.   

Then Mr. Satan appears on a TV special, where he attempts to break twenty roofing tiles.   Recall that he brought out 15 at the Cell Games, and only broke fourteen of those.    Mr. Satan explains that he’s been training ever since, which is why he’s trying for 20 this time.

And he only manages 19, but that’s still an improvement over his previous record.   I like this scene, because it shows that Mr. Satan learned something from the Cell Games in spite of everything else.    He’s still a martial artist, and he’s still striving to improve in his own way.    He may be taking credit for defeating Cell, but he’s not just resting on his laurels.   

His hand still hurts, though.

Somehow, Goku can see this from Snake Way, and he doesn’t seem to concerned about Mr. Satan’s showboating.    As for King Kai, he thinks it’s time they built a house.   Goku doesn’t know where they’ll find a carpenter to make one, but King Kai says they’ve already got that covered.   

So Bubbles is gonna build it?  No, Goku.    Geez.

Meanwhile, Trunks is on his way back to the future.    Okay, so I think they got the chronology of this episode a little messed up.    After Trunks departed, the episode flashed forward a month, so have Goku and King Kai been slumming on Snake Way the whole time?   

Andwe’re still seeing Trunks in the middle of the trip that he began.    Does he experience a month’s worth of time to complete the trip to the future?     Where does he pee?  

That might explain his moody expression here.

[seriouslyhooked]

Scoring Your Love (Part 5/?)

Modern AU where Killian is a world famous soccer star who has hit rock bottom and been sentenced to the place where ‘football’ legends go to die – America. While here he crosses paths with Emma, an up and coming musician and film scorer who challenges everything he thought he knew and makes him want more than the game he’s always loved. Will be filled with fluff for days, and eventually rated M.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four. Story also on FF here and AO3 here.

A/N: Hello again, all! This chapter, as you might have expected, brings us right back into the fray of game day. We are picking up with Killian’s POV and though there’s a bit about the game, the bulk of the chapter has to do with the actual reuniting of Emma and Killian. I’ve been looking forward to this as I have been writing (and I am really excited to get to the fluff that will be possible hereafter), but I hope that you all enjoy and thanks so much for reading!

“All right guys, that was a solid first half. We came out strong and gave Graham very little to contend with which is always good.”

The team chuckled at their coach, Robin Locksley’s, words, all of them agreeing that it was best to keep the ball away from their own goal tender as much as possible. The less time they spent on their side of the field the better.

“That’s not to say we’ve been perfect,” Robin hedged, “I mean really, Scarlet, that tackle? He barely grazed you and you acted like you’d lost a limb.”

More laughter spread through the locker room as Will Scarlet, one of their mid-defenders, scowled at their coach’s jab. Killian was right there with them, thinking back to the show of dramatics that his new teammate had displayed which belonged in the European leagues or a World Cup match more than it did here. The Americans, for the most part, seemed intent on playing the game, not putting on a show with the hopes of procuring some reward or other.

“Oi, I’m just playing the part, mate! Not my fault you Americans can’t see the strategy in playing up a hit. Besides, Arthur King’s a wanker. I was hoping they’d card him.”

“You realize Coach isn’t actually American, right?” David whispered to Will who just shrugged.

“He’s internalized it, man. He’s completely lost his roots.” More laughter followed the ridiculous assertion.

“Question of my roots aside,” Robin said, trying to retake control of the team meeting, “I think we can all pick it up a bit this half. They’re losing steam out there. Not that you can blame them when Killian has them running all over creation.”

“Seriously, dude,” one of their fellow teammates and a younger American recruit on the team, Gus, said with a tone of appreciation. “You’re like a machine out there. We knew you were good, but not that good.”

Killian gave a slight nod of acknowledgement, knowing that he’d had a great start to the game. Two goals scored despite the obscene amount of coverage he was getting from the other side was nothing to be discouraged about, but Killian also felt he could do better. The next half was a new slate on which to make his mark and he had every intention of leaving that field tonight with a solid victory for the Galaxy and a sterling representation of his skill set for all to see. This would be a season of proving himself again, of reminding people of his talent with the ball on a pitch, and trying to erase the baggage and toxicity that had been thrown his way the past few months.

That being said, Killian couldn’t actually recall the last time a mere exposition game had left him feeling this charged and eager to succeed. Then again the setting had little to do with his emotional state. Surely the match itself was of some importance, for despite his deserving a spot in a more premiere league, Killian wanted to succeed for his sake and the sake of his teammates. But the game itself felt less significant than the unexpected twist of fate awaiting him in the stands.

And what a twist it had been. One moment he’d been focused on his pregame warm ups, sticking to his usual habits for the sake of ritual, and then he’d felt something. There was a split second before he’d seen her where he just knew that Emma was there, and then their eyes met across the field and all thoughts of blocking out the world to focus on the game were gone. His mind was racing a mile a minute with all kinds of thoughts, but the most prominent among them was how could he possibly have gotten this lucky? Here he was struggling the past few days since their chance meeting, trying to figure out how he could get in touch with this intriguing woman again just knowing her face and her first name, and not forty-eight hours later she’d just so happened to walk into his stadium, looking every bit as beautiful as she had that first afternoon.

“Well it doesn’t hurt that he’s got a bit more motivation than the rest of us,” Graham said as he strapped his keeper gloves back on, slapping Killian on the back and pushing out those thoughts of Emma. “Didn’t you all see the girl he’s been staring at?”

The cacophony of responses in the locker room was near deafening with hoots and hollers and different childish variations of ‘Killian’s got a girl!’ circulating about, but Killian still tried to play it cool despite not loving that he was completely figured out so easily. He hazarded a glance at David, the only one of his mates who had mentioned anything on the field, but Killian turned away from his meddling if well-meaning friend shortly thereafter. All game long David had been making subtle jokes about Killian’s being smitten, and it had taken Killian’s eventual confession that this was the same girl from the street a few days ago before David sobered up.

“Wait, that’s Emma?” David asked as they both caught a breather on the sidelines to get some water and catch their breath, the tone of laughter falling to the wayside as David scanned the crowd again to get a better look. “Your Emma?”

“Aye,” Killian had acknowledged, incapable of not looking back over to where she sat in the stands with her friends. She hadn’t noticed his attentions at this particular moment yet (as she had most times he snuck a glance up to this point) and he took the chance to really soak her in, watching her laugh at something one of her companions had said and feeling his gut clench at the sight. God she was beautiful, dressed for a game and a casual evening out with people who clearly meant the world to her, and he was a right moron for ever having mucked up his chance with her in the first place. He would not be so foolish again, that was for damn sure.

“Huh. Wait she’s not the one with all the team gear on, right?” David asked, his tone suddenly a bit more terse than it had been only moments before.

“Uh… no?” Killian said looking back at his new friend and finding a familiar look etched on his face. Ha! Here was David berating him for being smitten, but it seemed one of Emma’s friends had caught his eye too. Would wonders ever cease? “Why, do you know her?”

“Not yet,” David said with a grin. “But once you make it right with Emma I’ll have my in. So you should really get a move on.”

“Is this going to be a problem, Killian?” Robin asked him privately, pulling Killian from the stream of memories. It was clear their coach did not want to draw attention with the other players, probably because Killian had made one direct request when he moved to this team: he didn’t want the details of his coming here aired all over the place. Robin knew about Gold and the PR standoff, but the less people that were in the loop on the nightmare of Killian’s personal life the better.

“No, sir,” Killian replied with complete certainty. After all, he might not know Emma very well, but he could trust his instincts enough to know that she wasn’t anything like a problem. In fact, she might just be the answer to all the ones he’d faced before, but Killian was getting ahead of himself. First he had a game to win and then he could try to start and win the girl.

“Fantastic. I never was particularly good at the whole lecturing thing, and as long as you keep playing as you have I see no reason to learn now. And if Regina asks, because she always does, I’ll just tell her I trust you and that’ll be that.”

Robin made it sound like the easiest of tasks to reason with Regina Mills, their fearless and fearsome team owner. Regina was a woman seen pretty much the world over as being a hard ass who was brilliant at business but stubborn as an ox. Yet Killian knew Robin meant what he said and that his coach did have an inexplicable sway with the team’s owner. To this point Killian hadn’t seen anything that crossed professional boundaries between them, but the dynamic they had was so startlingly different than any other of Regina’s that Killian had seen that he had to hold it in high esteem. Keeping his hard bought ally happy was important after all, and it turned out the best option for managing that ally was staying on good terms with his coach.

“No offense, but I must have missed that part in my contract that said I had to run potential dates by the Queen,” Killian joked, trying to keep the mood light by using the team’s nickname for Regina. Robin replied with a blank face.

“Section six, clause C of your contract.” Killian’s jaw was set to drop at that. Bloody hell! Had he really signed something so ridiculous?! But then Robin’s stony face broke into a grin and he shook his head. “No, I’m messing with you. Just remember Regina’s an observant woman, and she’s hardly known for being subtle. When she finds out you’re seeing anyone, seriously or not, she’ll stick her nose in it without shame. Is this girl worth that?”

A call on Robin’s attention interrupted their conversation, but as his coach walked away Killian admitted to himself that yes, Emma was worth any hardship that might come to him for seeking out time with her. Technically this was supposed to be a year of lying low, but instinctively Killian knew that Emma wouldn’t be a threat to that. If anything he’d seen that look in her sparkling green eyes today that spoke to her unease at his being somewhat famous. When it dawned on her that he was a professional athlete, some things seemed to click into place, but Killian wanted to prove those assumptions wrong. He was more than the stereotype; at least he was at his core. Perhaps Killian had indulged in the frivolity of his fame at times, yes, but he was different now, or at least he wanted to be. Suddenly there was a real motivation to be better than he once was, and as he and the team headed back out for the second half of their match, Killian clung to that desire to improve.

That aspiration proved a very powerful tool, and the team won the match in the end 5-1, which had everyone in the best of spirits. Yet as his teammates celebrated, Killian couldn’t manage to ride that high with the others. All he could think through the end of game talk and their time getting cleaned up was that he had to find a way to get to Emma. He didn’t dare to dream that she’d have stuck around this long after the game since more than a half an hour had come and gone, but he had been meticulous in paying attention to where she’d been sitting, and he was confident that he could give the people at the ticket offices the right cluster of seats. For some reason he doubted that the evening had been Emma’s idea, but maybe he’d get a clue in the right direction on how to find her again, and God knew any lead would be welcomed.

“If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re about to go full stalker right now.”

David’s words were said in jest as Killian was heading out, and though Killian had no desire to delay, he was surprised to find it wasn’t necessary. It turned out that David was ready to leave already too, and Killian’s initial thought that he’d be doing this alone evaporated. He didn’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand maybe having an extra set of eyes and ears would help, but on the other Killian hadn’t any want for distraction if and when he finally did find Emma.

“But you do? Know better I mean?” Killian asked, wondering what the line actually was that he wouldn’t cross at this point. Getting into the financial records from the stadium was already a gray area, wasn’t it? But it didn’t feel anything less than necessary to Killian.

“Oh yeah. You might have a crazy look in your eyes at the moment, but you aren’t actually insane. At least not dangerously so.” David laughed at his own joke and Killian only shook his head.

“Thanks, mate. Your faith in me is uplifting as ever.”

“Don’t thank me yet. I tried to get rid of him, but I couldn’t.”

Get rid of him? Killian thought to himself, but before he could ask David to explain himself the ‘him’ he was referring to manifested. Turned out this wasn’t just a duo undertaking this search in the end, and along with David it appeared Graham was dead set on playing a part in all of this too.

“Bloody hell,” Killian muttered under his breath as Graham walked out of the locker room with the same confident swagger the man always embodied. He looked pleased to see the two of them still there and now Killian knew there was no escape from what would likely be a constant stream of jest at his expense.

“Didn’t think I was gonna miss out on you making heart eyes at that girl now did you, Jones? I’ve been waiting for this all game.”

“Anyone ever tell the two of you that you’re slightly too invested in the life of a man you’ve only just met?” Killian asked as they moved down the private club hallway towards the exit of the stadium closest to the ticket office. It was where Tiny, his bodyguard and driver, was set to meet him this evening, and it would also be a good place to start the hunt for Emma. But as they made it down the hallway, Killian found Tiny wasn’t alone. Somehow his man had already done the extensive work of tracking down Emma, for here she was, waiting in the reception area with two of her friends. Killian had a fleeting thought to give Tiny a hefty raise for such a stroke of genius, but then all of his thoughts focused squarely on the beautiful woman before him.

A moment passed where Killian hadn’t been spotted yet and his friends didn’t seem to connect that here was the woman he’d been mooning over. In that precious space of time Killian had the ability to collect his thoughts. It was a triumph for sure, considering what an enticement Emma made for even after he’d been keeping tabs on her through the game, but he centered himself to be assured that he wouldn’t fuck this up again. He would by no means wield the same conceited air that he had before. This time he’d side with humility and the honest truth that he had messed up and would never be so careless as to do so again.

“Oh good, Tiny came through in the end,” David acknowledged, sounding unsurprised and Killian pulled his glance from Emma to interrogate his friend.

“You knew about this?” Killian asked and David only smiled.

“Sure did. I asked him to help out at the half. I thought you might originally, but you seemed a little preoccupied.”

Killian knew that he had been rather distracted, and right now he was so damn grateful to David for having the foresight to do something where he had failed to. Killian immediately dropped all the resentment he’d had at having to share his reunion with Emma with other people. David could stay. After all, he’d earned it.

“Preoccupied is one word for it,” Graham said with a laugh, and the reaction was so boisterous that it ended up alerting Emma and the other two women with her of their approach.

Killian tried to ignore the laughter at his expense, and it was easily done since he now had to try and combat the fluttering of anxiety that had settled in his chest. This was his last shot to do the right thing and to show Emma he was worth her time. He could only make this second impression once. The only problem was crafting the words to do so in his head as he closed the space between he and Emma wasn’t going so well, and the next thing he knew they were only feet apart and she was looking at him expectantly.

“Forgive my current loss of words, love, I just can’t believe my luck at running into you again.”

“Yeah, small world,” Emma agreed, her voice so much softer than it had been last time, but still quizzical and cautious as it sounded out to him.

There was a clear wall still erected between the two of them, but since Emma wasn’t running from him, Killian considered that a win in itself. His behavior on the street the other day had been callous and thoughtless. As such he tried to take command of the situation with a bit more tact and gentlemanly charm. He started by smiling to her two friends and offering a handshake in greeting.

“Excuse my manners. I’m Killian Jones, and these two sorry looking blokes behind me are David Nolan and Graham Humbert.”

“Oh we know who you are,” one of Emma’s friends, the one that Dave had noticed before, responded immediately before going a little red. Killian wasn’t entirely certain, but he suspected that this woman was the cause of his good fortune. Taking a better look at her now, he could see that she was in fact decked out in team apparel and she certainly looked more a soccer fan than Emma or the taller brunette beside her.

“What Mary Margaret is trying to say is that your reputation proceeds you, both on and off the field. Isn’t that right, Emma?” the other woman asked with a smirk. Killian swore he heard a groan that came from Emma, and he most certainly saw an eye roll, but the taller woman paid it no mind as she laughed. “I’m Ruby, by the way. Ruby Lucas.”

“Anyone ever tell you that you look like one of the girls from Dawn of the Odyssey?” Graham blurted out randomly, and Killian was about to call his friend a right idiot when Ruby smiled even wider, this time a light reaching her eyes of excitement that hadn’t been present only a second ago.

“You saw that? Literally no one saw that show!” Ruby exclaimed. “Trust me I begged so many people to watch it but to no avail.”

“We’re on the road a lot,” Graham said with a shrug as David decided it was his turn to chime in.

“And though he might not look like it, Graham’s a big sci-fi nerd.”

“I have an appreciation for good stories,” Graham said, sounding embarrassed now at the ribbing, but where Killian wanted to be entertained he was mostly still anxious. His eyes remained on Emma’s and while he was trying to figure out how to get some actual alone time with her, Emma was the one to take action.

“So could we maybe… talk?” she asked as she nodded in a direction where there were less people.

“Aye, love,” he agreed, but instead of just moving away with her, Killian found himself offering his hand. Emma considered it for a moment before giving in, but when her hand was in his Killian felt his whole being come alive. To find simultaneous elation and peace was an immensely satisfying experience, and so it made it all the harder to let go when they’d maneuvered out of the direct scrutiny of their friends and taken up residence in a private corner.

“Before I say anything else, I just wanted to state for the record that I’m sorry, Emma. The way I handled myself the other day was nothing short of regrettable and I’ve thought of little else since it happened.”

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot too and there’s a slight chance I might have overreacted,” Emma acknowledged, her fingers coming up to brush a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she did.

“I’m not so sure of that, love. The fault lies entirely with me. I was trying to mask my disappointment at not getting a chance to see you again and in doing so I undermined the value of your time and attention elsewhere.” Killian watched as a little bit more of that wall around Emma’s being seemed to crumble away. It honestly didn’t feel like he was saying enough to truly express how sorry he was, but she seemed to be accepting him, and that felt like the ultimate gift.

“Well that’s… honest,” Emma said, her surprise evident in her tone, like it shocked her that he’d be totally upfront with her in this moment. “Most guys wouldn’t admit to that.”

“Despite appearances so far, I like to think I’m better than most guys. Yet still, a better man would have respected your refusal and asked for a different day. Perhaps I could do so now…” Killian edged, his breath catching as he waited for Emma to reply.

“Perhaps,” Emma responded, her voice a more gravelly whisper as her eyes cast down to his lips for a brief glance before returning to his once more. “But here in America we usually exchange numbers first.”

“Is that right?” Killian asked with a chuckle, surprised but pleased at her direction in this.

“Mhmm,” she murmured back with a smile. “Gotta give ourselves a little time to get a better feel for each other. That way if we want to back out we still can, no harm, no foul.”

“Trust me, love,” Killian said as he stepped forward, moving closer to the pulsing energy she sparked into his life. “I’ve no intention of turning my back on this. You can rest assured on that front.”

“I would hope not. I mean you’ve gone to all this trouble…” Emma said with a laugh and the sound was intoxicating, filling Killian with a warmth he never wanted to fade. “So, are you going to take out your phone, or are you one of those people with a superhuman memory?”

“Right,” Killian said, a bit embarrassed at his continued lack of ability to keep up with her, but when he looked up Emma and passed her his phone she was smiling sweetly at him. Apparently his genuine sense of being overwhelmed by her was endearing, and he was grateful she took it that way instead of being turned off. This was pretty much the opposite of his cocky come on of the past, but it was also more genuine if he was being honest.

“Well I guess I’ll see you around then, Killian Jones,” Emma said with a smirk

“I’m counting on it, Emma…” Damn! He realized only in this moment that he didn’t know her last name but she filled in easily.

“Swan. Emma Swan.”

“Swan,” Killian repeated, tasting it on his tongue as he watched her return to her friends and lead them away. And though it was hard to watch her go, Killian knew that this was indeed a great day – because now he had a means to get to Emma and he had a path ahead of him where he could try to make her see how right they were together and how rare a thing this spark between them was.

Post-Note: Nothing is more fun for me than writing CS where Emma is a little guarded but taking the risk and Killian loves her almost from first sight. It never gets old for me, because I just love this couple so much. Anyway, since it’s a little slower of a burn than some of my other stories, next chapter will not bring the date, but no worries the one after that definitely will. In the meantime there will be cuteness and a bit more set up, but mostly just light hearted fluff for days. I hope you guys enjoyed and will continue on with me when I post again in two weeks (and I do mean two weeks this time!) and thanks so much for reading!

[foxfyrez]

Chapter 8: He’s A Flirt

Axel and Silent walked towards Antonio's restaurant as Silent noticed Axel's eye kept flickering from blue to red. She knew that would be trouble for her if he started acting up at the diner. Hopefully, he didn't do anything crazy. "I gotta get in touch with Junior to fix you up," Silent mumbled.

Axel whined, nuzzling Silent's hand with affection. His tail wagged slowly, crouching down in a playful stance and bounding off down the road towards Antonio's.

Silent took off after him, yelling for him to slow down. Silent was fast, but today she felt super exhausted after spending the majority of last night trying to patch him up. She had no clue what she was doing because she's never messed with programs and parts before.

It wasn't a pretty sight to see Axel malfunction in the middle of repairing him, and he sorta wrecked one of the Duke's soon to be built cars. The Duke was not happy.

Once Silent reached the establishment, she caught her breath. "Goddammit, Axel, I'm tired! Please wait for me!" She felt Axel nudge her hand with his muzzle before nipping at her fingers harshly. She yelped, yanking her hand away. "Ow!" She looked down at her fingers to see they were slightly bleeding.

Axel barked at her, wagging his tail and crouching down in a playful stance again.

"Bad dog! That hurt!" Silent scolded him, wiping her fingers off on her jeans. Her fingers were still bleeding faintly so she settled for wrapping it up in her cloak for the time being. "We need to get you fixed up." She looked at him with a tired look. Maybe this happened when Crater threw him into a wall a few days ago.

Axel tilted his head, waiting for Silent to follow him into the diner. His long tail thumped on the ground patiently. He was sitting in the middle of the entrance of Antonio's Restaurant, scanning the area for a perfect booth to sit at.

There was a booth located right in the middle of two pillars that could fit him and Silent perfectly. It looked spotless, and it seemed like no one was gonna use it for a while. It was a pretty good choice.

Silent noticed him staring at something, "Axel, what're you doi-" she got cut off by Axel, who bit down on her sleeve and yanked her towards the booth. She stumbled, "Slow down!" She ordered, but he still kept on going. She dug her heels into the floor, trying to deter him from going any further.

Apparently, that action made him mad as he turned his head around, growling at Silent. His eye was beginning to glitch out again. He looked like he was going to pounce on Silent if she didn't do what he wanted.

Silent bit her lip and started walking towards the booth that Axel had picked out. She didn't want Axel to start a scene in the diner so she went along with his plans for now. Reaching the booth he had picked out for her, she sat down on one of the ends, letting Axel chew on her cloak's sleeve (at least he wasn't chewing on her arm).

"Hey what can I get- oh, it's you Silent." Riley waved at her. She looked down at Axel to notice that he was biting Silent's sleeve. His eye color was a bright red which reminded her of the original programming that Axel had. "Is... Is Axel alright?"

"No, he's been bugging out ever since Crater threw him against a wall. I'd advise you to stay away from him until he gets fixed. His mood changes a lot, and he's in a very bitey mood." Silent showed Riley her fingers. "I don't know what's wrong with him."

Axel heard his name being called, and he looked up from chewing on the sleeve. He spotted Riley, his eyes flickering to blur as his tail wagged in excitement. He went back to chewing.

Riley inched away from the dog, pulling out her notepad to take Silent's order. "So you want the usual?"

Silent looked at the menu for a moment, deciding to ask a question. "Do you guys have anything seafood related? Like just shrimp or squid or like fried fish sticks? I'm craving some seafood. Oh, and I want a vanilla milkshake!" She put the menu down, resting her chin on her hands. Looking around the restaurant, she noticed that it was busier than usual. "Is there an event happening right now? Why are there so many people here?"

Riley jotted down some things onto her notepad, "The Mama's Boys dropped by for a visit and a few people here are their fans, I guess. Those fans called other fans, and now it's swamped. I'm surprised you didn't notice your loverboy's car parked right outside. It's hard to miss with its design and color scheme."

Silent looked around the room to see that there were a lot of people crowding around certain tables which probably had some of the Mama's Boys at them. "Huh, didn't know they had fans considering the type of shit they do. I guess people like Junior even have fans." She tapped her fingers on the table. "Stop calling him my loverboy." She said bitterly.

Riley stood there, looking at the restaurant. "Ya know, Junior has a ton of fans. I was surprised to see him flirting with them. I was totally expecting him to get turned down, but I guess not."

Silent looked at Riley, "Wait, you mean he can flirt? You mean the short fuckboy can actually flirt?"

Riley snorted, "As I said, I was surprised too. Here watch this." Riley pulled up a video screen, pressing play.

The video started with Junior trying to flirt with one of the Amazons. Silent didn't know who it was because she's never met them before, but she guessed it was their leader. Soon Junior tried talking to her and for a while, she listened to him. Then she said something to him, and his face fell. It made Silent burst out laughing as Riley closed the video.

"Oh my god! She totally wrecked him! I've never met her before, but she just promised to snap his spine!" She held onto her stomach as her head rested on the table. "I would have paid to see this!"

Riley held onto her tray. "Dude, that's not even the best part! Like so after she said that to him, he looked at her and went 'please' in the tiniest voice ever. Silent, I lost my mind, I couldn't stop laughing."

Silent thought this day couldn't get any better. "Holy shit! Oh my god, don't tell me he has a thing for that? Wow, now I can totally use this against him whenever he tries to flirt with me again!" Silent had to move her mask to the side so she could wipe the tears from her face. Once she and Riley settled down, she took a deep breath. "I cannot believe he said that."

Riley stepped away from the booth, "Well he did, and I recorded it." She looked at Silent thoughtfully, placing her pen to her lips. "Say, are you and Junior still together?"

Silent's mask looked confused, "We were never together in the first place? Why are you asking?"

"I thought you two were dating! You both seem lovey-dovey with each other!" Riley gasped. "You guys would make a great couple! Hey, I can ask Junior if he wants to date you. He is at the Smoothie Bar." She pointed over behind her where Junior sat talking to his fans.

Silent sputtered, "No! Don't you dare! We are not lovers, and I highly doubt he likes me since he flirts with every person that shows him the slightest hint of attention."

"You sound like you're jealous."

"Riley, just go get my order."

"Alright, see ya in a few. Try not to get jealous of the fans keeping Junior from you!" Riley sprinted away from Silent's wrath.

——————————————————-

Now that Silent was alone again, minus Axel who was still chewing on her sleeve, she had to think about why everyone assumed she and Junior were a couple. It made no sense! They were just friends is all and besides, Silent made no plans to date anyone when she arrived in Motorcity. It was actually a rule she had to follow whenever she went out on her hunting jobs. If she had fallen for someone and they felt the same eventually she would have to leave when she finished her hunts. With the amount of work she has, long-distance relationships don't last very long. Sure it does get lonely sometimes, but she can usually keep going by herself. And now, she has a robot dog to take care of.

She started thinking about what made Junior so interesting. There had to be something that drew her in, and she knows it's not his personality. Just because he was cute didn't mean she wanted to hold his hand and kiss his dumb face, right? Or like talk to him about random shit and listen to music together? That's what friends do, and they were friends. There were times she wanted to strangle him for his behavior of mistreating robots, and other times she wanted to just hold him close and— wait, hold the fuck up.

It dawned on Silent that she probably liked Junior more than a friend. She held her head in her hands. "This cannot be happening! There's no way in hell I have feelings for that loser! No! It's gotta be a misunderstanding, yeah!" She whispered to herself in denial. Maybe if she hit her head hard enough against the table, she could knock some sense into herself.

"Feelings for who?"

Silent jumped, looking up at whoever happened to witness her dismay. Turns out it was one of the Mama's Boys staring at her with a smirk on their face. She didn't know all of their names, except for Junior, so she struggled to try to come up with something.

This Mama's Boy had a bandage across his nose. His red cap was placed sideways on his head, covering his brown hair. He was a lot taller than Junior, well all of them were and built like an ox. He looked like he could snap Silent in half if he wanted to.

"Uh.."

He noticed her struggling for his name. "My name's Chad. I'm pretty sure you know which gang I'm from." He stared down at her, glancing to the Houndbot by her feet. It looked like it was chewing on something, but Chad couldn't tell what. "Hey, your dogs got something in his mouth."

Silent sighed, "Yes, I'm aware. He's just chewing on my sleeve. He's kinda malfunctioning. I was gonna call your brother to fix him, but Junior hasn't been picking up any of my calls recently."

Chad laughed as he sat down on the opposite side of Silent. He put his hands behind his head. "Well, he's been pretty busy lately due to some unexpected business. Also, his fans won't give him some space since we've been here." He glanced back towards where Junior was at the Smoothie Bar being trapped by his fans.

Silent looked over there, spotting the shortie talking up a storm with the crowd around him. He looked like he was flirting due to how smug his face looked. Rolling her eyes, she began to mutter, "I still can't believe he has fans. He's too goddamn short to even reach the barstool without help."

Chad snickered, "You're right. I think he's got a box he uses to get on some things higher than him." Now that Chad was talking to Silent, he could now see who Junior was always hanging out with when they weren't working. He thought it was that kid who kept yelling his own name when he hit things, but it's a girl apparently. He thought it was strange because Juniors not been very popular with the ladies, except for those in his fan club. He decided to examine her more.

"He probably has a booster seat in his car."

Chad snorted and looked at the dog near his feet. "So how's the Houndbot doing? Since Junior gave him to you for some reason, I've been wondering if he gave it to you because it was bugged or something. Junior never really explained why."

"As I said before, I think he needs a tune-up. As you already know, I'm a fighter, not a mechanic so I have no idea how to fix him. None of the Duke's mechanics will take a look at him because they're afraid of us." Silent shrugged her shoulders.

Chad looked at the Silent for a moment, "Who could be afraid of you? You're so small." He joked before looking at the dog by his shoes. "I could take a look at him if you want."

"I thought you hated me? Why would you want to help me?" Silent asked. She didn't have a good relationship with the other Mama's Boys because she's never had the time to befriend them. She's only made friends with Junior because he's the only one to approach her again and again.

"Because you're not as bad as I previously thought. If you can handle Junior's shitty personality and behavior, then you're good in my book. I don't know about the others though." Chad answered back, leaning on the table.

Silent didn't know what to think. She personally would rather have Junior look at Axel, but he's busy at the moment. She looked at Axel, contemplating her answer before nodding her head. She glanced at Chad to see he was being honest with her. "Ok, please fix Axel. You better not fuck him up or I will personally come after you."

Axel stirred upon hearing his name, and he looked at the man kneeling beside him. His eye changed to red, growling at him.

Silent leaned over and rested her hand on his head, stroking him softly. "No Axel, it's ok. He's not going to hurt you, he's going to try and fix you up." Her voice soothed Axel's nerves as he dropped his guard. "Good boy."

Chad whistled, "Damn, I can see why Junior let you have him. You can control him with just your voice." He began to open up Axel's side panel and took a look at the components inside. "So, what's he been doing that's causing you trouble?"

Silent stretched out in her seat, "He's gotten very hostile towards everyone, even me. He's been snapping at everyone, and I'm tired of getting chomped on. It hurts." She showed Chad her arm which was covered in bites. Her fingers stopped bleeding thankfully.

"Oh, that must suck. I've been bitten by Houndbots before, and it stings like a bitch. Considering Axel is rather large for his size and mutated, his bites must be extra painful." Chad inspected her arm for a moment before returning to the task at hand. He opened up some screens to take a look at some programming. Scanning through the stats and diagnostics, he found the problem. "I think his programming is trying to revert itself to its original state, ya know like before we took out Kane's programming. I can try to disable it." He announced, taking a look at Silent to see her holding a milkshake in her hands. "Where'd you get that?"

"I ordered it. I was supposed to get some seafood with it, but there's been a problem with my order so this is all I get." She replied, lifting her mask so she could take a sip.

"I want one."

Silent stuck her tongue out, "it's mine. If you can fix Axel for me, I'll buy you one." She spotted Riley wiggling her eyebrows from behind a pillar that was next to their booth. Silent glared at her for making assumptions about something happening between herself and Chad.

And now Chad could see why Junior was so smitten by Silent; even if it was just a small portion of her face exposed, Chad could tell that Silent was kinda cute. Apparently Junior had seen half of Silent's face, and he was hit by Cupid's arrow right through the heart. Chad smiled, "You know, I can understand why Junior talks a lot about you now. He thinks you're pretty cute, and now that I can see what you kinda look like, I totally agree." He bluntly stated, trying to fix the dog's programming. He greatly enjoyed the noise that Silent made when he made his statement.

Riley started snickering behind her tray.

Silent's face felt warm as she pulled down her mask and hid herself in her hands. "Please don't hit on me! I deal with this enough from Junior!"

Chad snickered. He couldn't believe that Junior had the gall to flirt with the Duke's bodyguard. The same bodyguard that kicked their asses the first time they met her. "I'm surprised he hasn't tried to ask you out on a date yet like he's done so with many other people." He clicked on some commands and closed the panel back up. "Alright, he's been fixed. If he starts acting funny, don't hesitate to call." He sat back across from Silent.

Silent looked down at Axel's eye, seeing it was a bright blue color again. She smiled in relief, leaning down to pat his head. "Thank you! Now as promised, I'll get you a milkshake." She looked at Riley, who nodded and walked off.

"So what caused Axel to malfunction? He's a pretty sturdy bot so it would have to take a large force to mess him up." Chad asked, watching Silent as she sipped on her milkshake. By this time, Silent had officially moved her mask to the side of her face (it was still covering half of her face though) so she could drink the milkshake in peace without having to readjust it constantly.

Silent blew a bubble into her milkshake, watching as it formed a bubble and popped. "Crater threw him against a building, and I guess it broke something from the impact." Silent shrugged.

"Man, Crater sure does hate you. I've never seen him actively go after someone other than you before. Well, there is Squall from the FoxFyre gang, but he doesn't go out of his way to attack him as he does with you. What did you do to piss him off?" Chad asked, glancing around the establishment to keep his mind occupied.

"I think it's because I beat his ass. You saw it happen." Silent replied. "Apparently his whole gang wants me dead except a certain redhead." She took another sip of her drink again.

Chad nodded. So she's made friends with the redhead from the Electroblades... that could prove troublesome for Junior. He was still trying to figure her out. He could see why his brother liked her. She didn't push him away like most of the people he's flirted with. Maybe she felt the same towards Junior but didn't know how to show it? "Huh.."

Silent looked at him, confusion etched on her face. "What?"

"Juniors really fell hard for you, and I have to agree that you're something special." He placed his hands on the table, leaning across it. He softly chuckled, seeing her hide her face behind her mask. "Your mask is telling me how you're feeling, you can't hide it." He pointed out.

Silent hissed. "Stop calling me cute! You haven't even seen what I look like, you've seen like part of my face. It doesn't count!" She crossed her arms and looked away from him.

Chad sat back down in his seat. "Well from what I've seen, you're very pretty. I would like to know what you look like from underneath the mask though. Maybe one day..." he trailed off. Thinking back to what Silent had said before Chad had introduced himself, everything clicked into place. "I get it now."

"Huh?"

"What you were talking about earlier before I arrived." He crossed his arms, nodding to himself. "You like Junior."

Silent's voice caught in her throat. She bit her lip to contain all the noises that wanted to spill out from her mouth. "Why does everyone keep saying that?! I swear to god I do not like him. There'll never be a chance in hell. Y'all just imagining it."

Chad raised a brow at her statement, "Ya sure?"

"Yeah totally. It's never gonna happen."

"Well, that's a shame. He's very fond of you." Chad stated, glancing over to the Smoothie Bar to see Junior making his way over to their table.

"He flirts with anyone he can. I doubt it, Chad. Here watch this video that my friend sent me." Silent pulled up a video screen and pushed it over to Chad, who pressed play. "He spends his time flirting with Foxy so I don't believe he likes me like you think he does." She said as he watched the video, snickering at the end of it and closing the screen. Silent moved her mask to the side again so she could take a sip of her milkshake.

"Well, I do admit that he does flirt with Foxy a lot, but he doesn't stare at her the same way he stares at you. He's head over heels in love with you." Chad stretched his arms above him. "Sounds like you're jealous of Foxy too."

"No, I've never met Foxy before. Why would I be jealous?" She rolled her eyes.

—————————————————

Junior had noticed one of his brothers was missing from their little hangout by the Smoothie Bar. He looked around for Chad, spotting him at a booth with some girl. "Well, would you look at that? Chads got himself a girl." He laughed.

The other members of the gang looked where Junior had pointed and started cackling. One of them (the one with the glasses and teddy bear in his overall's front pouch) leaned in close to Junior and whispered something in his ear.

Junior's carefree expression faltered. "Are you sure?" He looked at his brother in annoyance.

His brother nodded.

Junior grumbled, jumping off the barstool and headed on over to meet up with Chad. As Junior walked past random people, he spotted a familiar-looking Houndbot resting beside the booth his brother was at. He recognized it as Silent's dog.

The Houndbot stirred awake when something got too close to its territory. Once Axel recognized who it was, his tail started wagging.

Junior put his finger up to his mouth to shush the dog, hoping Axel would understand him. Thankfully, he did. He walked closer to them and found out the girl indeed was Silent herself. He noticed her mask was on the side of her face, allowing her to drink her milkshake. She looked very pretty— wait a minute.

Junior stopped dead in his tracks for a moment to process the thought that he just had. Well yeah, she is pretty, but he usually never went after the same girl for this long. He usually got bored and went after a new target. But for some reason, he liked to tease Silent. Liked getting her flustered, liked hearing her laugh, liked her voice, her personality... he just liked everything about her. Oh hell no, he had fallen in love!

"Pardon me," A waitress said and pushed past him to deliver a drink to their booth. She set it down in front of Chad.

Junior's face felt warm, and he shook his head to get rid of the thoughts plaguing his mind. "I do not have a crush!" He repeated over and over again under his breath. He walked right over to their booth and slammed his hands on the table, catching their attention. "Well, what do we have here? You guys on a date?"

Silent jumped at the sudden noise, banging her knee underneath the table. She glared at Junior while holding her knee. "You asshat! That hurts!"

Chad slurped on his drink, avoiding eye contact with his brother. If this was gonna play out like Chad wanted it to, he had to avoid pissing off his brother at all costs.

Junior snickered, glancing at Chad who wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"We're not on a date. We're just talking." Silent replied.

"About?"

Silent remembered what Chad had said to her, and she looked to the side. She was probably blushing, but she couldn't help it. "Nothing, go away fuckboy."

Chad choked on his drink and started laughing. "She—she just called you a fuckboy!" He held his stomach as he laughed.

"Shut up!" He snapped at Chad while bringing his attention to Silent. He leaned closer to her, smelling the scent of vanilla that came from her milkshake. "I'm not a fuckboy."

Silent smiled mischievously, "oh that's right. You can't be one if you've never fucked anyone. My bad, I forgot." She leaned back to avoid getting punched in the face.

Chad laughed even harder now, gripping the table for support. "Holy shit, she got you good!" He was going to get in so much trouble for this, but it was absolutely worth it.

Junior growled, grabbing Silent by the front of her cloak. "Shut up!"

"Aww, are you mad because I called you out? It's ok, not everyone can get laid. Don't feel bad about yours—" Silent got cut off when Junior punched the seat cushion beside her. Yeah ok, he was pissed off now, maybe she should stop before it was too late. She held up her hands in a defensive stance. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry."

Junior gave her a death glare, "You better sorry. I would not hesitate to punch you." He threatened.

"Hey, no need for violence. She was just joking. Take it easy." Chad recovered from his laughing fit and stood up to stop Junior if he needed to. He could hear Axel’s low growling.

Junior cursed, lowering Silent back down into the booth. He let her go and crossed his arms. "Whatever."

Silent looked to the side and scooted to the middle of the booth in case Junior wanted to sit down.

Chad looked between Silent and Junior, sighing in annoyance. "Hey let's not let this sexual tension get everything weird, talk it out." He just opened up another issue.

Silent glared at Chad. She knew what he was doing, and there was no way in hell she would allow it to come to light. Her feelings that is, she wouldn't allow Chad to reveal her feelings for Junior. "Shut up, Chad."

Chad smirked, "Why don't you tell him? It's a perfect time to."

Junior looked back and forth from Chad to Silent in confusion. "Tell me what?" Junior had sat down on the edge of the booth.

"It's nothing." Silent replied, having a staring contest with Chad.

"I'm sure Junior would like to hear it."

"No."

Junior groaned, "For fuck's sake, just tell me!"

"Silent has the hots for you!" Riley blurted out; soon covering her mouth with her hand and fleeing the booth.

"RILEY!"

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Subject Fail

by Wardog

Tuesday, 02 February 2010

Wardog is utterly horrified by the Subject Zero in Mass Effect II~

In case all the squeeing in the playpen hasn’t made it clear, I’m currently playing Mass Effect II – one of my favourite RPGs of all time, not least of all because it has

a genuinely functional morality system,

for once. Mass Effect II takes everything that was even slightly imperfect about Mass Effect I (and there were some issues, believe me – not least of all the cumbersome rumbling around barren planets in the crappy mako) and either polishes it until it shines or throws it out the window. Whoring for renegade and paragon points so you can use your charm / intimidate skills is no longer necessary, and finally they’ve noticed that picking the neutral option shouldn’t be a bum deal, so you actually get a scattering of both renegade and paragon points for charting a course between doormatty sainthood and shooting people in the face. With the result that Mass Effect IIis a little piece of awesome, and I love it passionately.

As much as I enjoyed Dragon Age, I genuinely (and probably heretically) believe that Mass Effect is by far the superior game. By giving you an already established character, Shepard, and the freedom to develop his/her attitude as you wish, it avoids all the problems Dan articulates in

this

article on Dragon Age. I think embracing linearity, as opposed to serving up a poor semblance of freedom, makes for a deeper story and, paradoxically, a more personalised experience. In short, I'd much rather be Shepard within a story constructed all around me, than Second Dwarf Commoner From The Left.

Spoilers incoming.

There's only one fly in my Mass Effect ointment, and that's the character of Subject Zero. Seriously, Bioware, what were you thinking?! To be fair, Mass Effect has always been

a bit dodgy

with its gender politics. But, despite being wet as a rice paddy during a Monsoon (and not in a good way) and the weird virginity fetishisation undertone, Liara did make a decent partner for my Shepard, soothing my renegade inclinations with her tentacles...err...I mean gentle ideals. But Subject Zero goes beyond “hmmm, you were a bit clueless, weren't you?” and into “ye gods, what is wrong with you?”

Before the game came out, there were a couple of trailers to build up excitement and anticipation about the Subject Zero character. Click

here

for the first one. Trying too hard, much? Good grief, she swears! She has tattoos. And a shaved head! How freaky! How alternative! How badass! My tiny mind is blown. Now putting aside the fact she looks, and talks, like your typical Ox Goth, which is off-putting to say the least, this is pretty cringe-worthy but not so out of the usual realm of cringe-worthy wankfantasy videogame characters that I did more than roll my eyes and sigh. It is, however, generally annoying that for a woman to be a badass she also has to be broken (“turns out, mess with someone’s head enough and you can turn a scared kid into an all-powerful bitch"). Healthy women, y’see, wouldn't be getting tattoos and firing guns, oh no, they'd be, I don't know, doing healthy things like sewing or getting married.

Then came the second trailer (which you can see

here

). It's still annoying but it's less “wow, we have a terrible attitude towards women” annoying, and she shows some depth and complexity beyond the over-sexed, broken badass model of the first trailer. Well, at least she does if you’re feeling mildly generous about it.

Part of the problem with the trailers, I think, is the lack of awareness – there seems to be no understanding of how far are we meant to buy Subject Zero's rhetoric, how far she buys it herself, and to what extent it is rhetoric. I like the second trailer more than the first because she seems genuinely psychotic and dangerous – which puts her on par with most of the rest of the cast - as opposed to the first trailer which depicts her as somebody ultimately fearful and pretending. Is she a victim or a badass, or a victim AND a badass, and if the latter how far, and in what ways, are they connected?

And then there's the game itself, where it all goes to shit.

You recruit Subject Zero (or Jack as she is known – which I think is quite cool) from a penal colony called Purgatory as part of the formation of your personal Dirty Dozen. She was sold, as a child, to a dodgy medical facility who tortured her, and a bunch of other kids, in order to increase their biotic abilities. Eventually, Jack managed to kill her way to freedom – causing chaos throughout the galaxy until her arrest. As part of her “gain her loyalty” quest, you take her back to the remains of the facility because … y'know … she's a woman, so she needs closure, or some other touchy feely girly crap. Again, the quest as a whole straddles the border between interesting and annoying. It’s interesting because there’s a brief moment in which the writers seem to be doing something slightly original with Subject Zero - she learns that other children were being abused even worse than she was in order to protect her, and make sure the biotic-enhancement experiments wouldn't kill her. This would genuinely be an intriguing development for someone who, rather self-indulgently and self-destructively, has always perceived herself as a victim. But the game promptly brushes this under the carpet, and instead presents you with the usual “you're a killer, Jack, get used to it” versus “but you have to let go of your past so it no longer controls you” moral dilemma. Yawn. And ultimately what you have here is a sequence which does nothing but prove how completely dominated Subject Zero is by the terrible things that were done to her when she was a kid – so much so that it makes much of her subsequent life of badassery a complete lie.

Of course, it’s perfectly realistic that somebody would, in fact, be completely dominated by the terrible things that happened to them as a child. People are. BUT the game isn’t trying to engage with the far reaching effects of child abuse. It’s offering up the worst kind of male fantasy there is – that of the woman who seems totally strong, but is secretly a broken flower who desperately needs a man to save her. All the characters you recruit to your Suicide Squad are, to a degree, dangerous and fucked up but - even the dying assassin who was trained to be one from the age of six or the scientist who worked on a virus to control an entire alien virus or the dude grown in a tank by a crazy frog alien – no matter how much guilt and remorse they feel, they ultimately own their past, their decisions and their badassery.

Not so Subject Zero. What powers she has were given to her by the people who experimented on her. And all the bad shit she did in her life was not truly her choice, and not something for which she can be held accountable, because she was impelled to it by the damage done to her. (Again, check out Dan’s article

The Victim Dilemma

for more on this) What you’re left with is a completely unthreatening female pseudo-badass.

This is all bad enough but it’s when you start to get into the sexual side of things that you move from cluelessly offensive, and into really really fucking disgustingly offensive. I will admit Subject Zero is kind of hot, and, again, it’s potentially a good thing to have an attractive female character who isn’t conventionally feminine in appearance – although, again, it’s all trying slightly too hard for it to really be effective. And I do kind of wish she’d put a proper shirt on. Having your nipples hanging out is dangerous if you're encountering regular cross fire. Anyway, you can bone Subject Zero in two ways... so to speak, but only if you're a man. Despite having done girls in her past, because it’s a turn on for the male gamer, I suspect, she doesn’t do girls now – because, y’know, bulldykes just aren’t a turn on for the male gamer. And although it’s perfectly reasonable for Subject Zero not to be an equal opportunities bonee in principle, in practice it means she’s still further defined by her status as a male fantasy.

The 'renegade' way is to get it on with Subject Zero is to shaft her against a bulkhead

as soon as the opportunity arises

– she will then discard you because you've proven yourself just another using manslut. The disturbing implication of this is, therefore, that Subject Zero doesn’t actually like sex – otherwise she’d be perfectly happy to keep fucking you, in this cheerful, no strings attached way. Again, although it’s perfectly reasonable that someone with a history of abuse might not enjoy sex and use it as a form of self-harm, the game isn’t actually engaging with this. Subject Zero’s promiscuity, like her badassery, is just another lie because the game simply can’t get its head round the notion that a woman could enjoy casual sex.

The paragon way is to pursue a relationship with her, whereupon she comes to your cabin aaaand

check this shit out

, and try not barf.

Ye Gods. I know the romances in Mass Effect are there to pander to our fantasies (mine just happens to be Garrus Vakarian all the way) but this is absolutely the most destructive and repulsive male fantasy there is. The supposedly 'strong' woman who is actually broken and helpless and just needs a male shoulder to cry on. Because, yes, a woman who weeps while you stick it to her is a real turn on. Don't get me wrong, I understand this fantasy. We all want to save women, especially from the cruelty of other men (see

nice guy syndrome

) but at least I'm self-aware enough to acknowledge it has absolutely nothing to do with women, and is incredibly, unspeakably unhealthy.

Also, just look at the way this scene is animated. You have Subject Zero (not so badass now, eh?) trembling, weeping and wordless, acknowledging that Shepard has a deeper understanding of her needs than she does, admitting tacitly that the person she has become is little more than a façade for her truly vulnerable, properly feminine self. And then she lies down, passive and submissive, her arms stretched over her head while Shepard heals her with his mighty mancock.

Eeeeew!!!

(Just as contrast, do check out

the consummation scene with Miranda

, one of the other female options. I think video-game sex scenes tend to look a bit ridiculous, as the animation isn’t quite up to it, but this is quite fun and sexy. They power dynamic is balanced, Miranda is clearly an active and willing participant, and there’s nothing freakier going on than two healthy, consenting, adult human beings having a good time together).

But Subject Zero isn't a person at all – she was created by the men at the facility, broken by those same men, used by men across the galaxy and ultimately healed again by a man. And by the looks of it, she still doesn't even seem to like sex. In short, they've created a character whose sole purpose in the game is to make men feel good about themselves, without actually threatening or challenging them in any way. What’s hotter than a female badass? A female badass who isn’t actually a badass. What’s hotter than a highly sexed woman? A woman who isn’t actually highly sexed. What’s better than a strong woman? A vulnerable woman who needs a man to hold her. It sickens me. It actually sickens me.

I can take the sexual fantasies romance options in games seem to be offering, but the emotional ones – especially when they invoke the most repulsive aspects of Nice Guy Syndrome – have gone beyond disturbing.

Themes:

Computer Games

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

,

Minority Warrior

~

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Arthur B

at 13:22 on 2010-02-02Awesome rant. But are you really being a Minority Warrior if you're a woman complaining about a game's portrayal of women? I thought the point of MWing was to leap to the defence of a group you're not actually a member of against the vile iniquities of your own demographic...

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Wardog

at 14:21 on 2010-02-02Arthur, are you saying I can't be a Minority Warrior because I'm a woman?!

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Arthur B

at 14:36 on 2010-02-02I'm saying that, if the defining trait of a Minority Warrior is speaking on behalf of demographics you don't belong to, then you can't be a Minority Warrior whilst speaking for your own demographic. :)

On the other hand, my Minority Warrior instincts say that anyone who self-defines as a Minority Warrior should be recognised as one.

But now I've ended up being a Minority Warrior talking on behalf of Minority Warriors, so I can't be a Minority Warrior, so then I must be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be because I am one, but I can't be because I'm talking on behalf of them, but I can't be...

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 17:28 on 2010-02-02Hi guys, first time posting on FerretBrain! I love your articles.

Anyway, I just beat Mass Effect 2 for the first time not long ago, and did in fact pursue the romance with Subject Zero. Looking back, there's really no way to view Jack than the typical Whedonchick, the super badass killer who was secretly traumatized and needs a good man to keep her up. Compare Jack with River.

There's also the comparisons between Jack and Kaiden, from ME1. Kaiden wasn't around in my ME2 save, but in retrospect they've got a bit of a similar backstory. Both were traumatized at a biotics training facility, Jack more than Kaiden, and both ended up killing to get away, Jack more than Kaiden. I'm not sure how much I can say about their comparison other than to note that nobody seemed to like Kaiden at all, although that may have been because his VA was the dude who voiced Carth Onasi.

I'm inclined to cut BioWare some slack for this, since it seems that literally every other female in Mass Effect is pretty much independent, proactive, and self-defined. The other party members in ME2 definitely are: Tali, Miranda, and Samara are all achievers with independent goals who have had tons of success without needing to deal with Shepard. To an extent, Tali and Miranda are defined by being their father's daughters (Miranda much more so than Tali, who is a pretty independently active woman), but they still do tons of stuff on their own, of their own volition. There's also Liara, who is happily the head of her own intelligence agency, doing things for her own reasons. Ashley, these days promoted to high command and the overseer of the entire military branch of a colony.

Even the secondary characters tend to fare pretty well: Emily Wong, Nassana Dantius, Shai'ara, the leader of the crime syndicate you meet in the Presidium in ME1, Matriarch Benezia (who, despite being mindraped by Sovereign, deliberately chose to infiltrate Saren's army and knew the risks that she would end up being indoctrinated; she wasn't just some random chick that Sovereign subjugated because puppet shows, hot)... Generally the women in Mass Effect tend to be pretty strong and very rarely defined as "someone's sister" or "someone's wife" (cf. Warcraft). There is the doctor from ME1, a somewhat archaic Damsel In Distress, but still. Most of the women in the game who get screentime tend to be pretty well-presented.

(Unless this entire analysis has just been my phallocentric manocratic thinking convincing me that the legions of sexual playthings paraded before me in a tentacular orgasmic rape simulator are actually fairly independent, well-characterized women. The curse of a minority warrior!)

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/2Yqe00sizOcIYBx41yITkDVVKJA_7g--#6c7d4

at 22:36 on 2010-02-02Is it just me or did they base Jack on the character of the same name from Chronicles of Riddick?? Even how the game unfolds during the mission on Purgatory, parallels Riddick and Jack's escape from "Crematoria" (prison colony/world).

Your interpretation of Jack reminds me of one of the quotes from Bioware's other character, "Morrigan", from their recent game "Dragon Age: Origins":

"Men are always ready to believe two things about a woman - that she is weak and that she finds him attractive."

Your fixation on gender is rather telling. I could care less that a man "heals" or "saves" Jack, or if a woman does. The paragon scene between them is about love. Love requires you to compromise pride and ego to attain something greater than yourself. What I see are two people engaged in a tender and emotional moment.

I could care less about lust or casual sex. And speaking of strong women, it takes a strong woman to truly give herself completely to intimacy, and the same of course is required of the man, to have a truly loving relationship. Even the word "relationship" implies "more than yourself". Casual sex is entirely selfish, and the preference of the weak willed.

On the contrary I believe it's a testament to Jack strength of will and character, to be so intimate with Shepard, after all she has been through. She's learned (and said in some of the dialogue) that people only act out of selfish concerns, and are not to be trusted.

But then it seems believable given the person Shepard proves himself to be (through paragon actions) and that he is an exceptional individual; peerless... saving the galaxy more than once.

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Wardog

at 23:06 on 2010-02-02@ Webcomcon, hello and welcome to Fb. Thank you for the comment. I suspect Kaiden was universally disliked because he was a whiny bitch and, honestly, game mechanically rubbish - it's amazing how much being a strong addition to your party can make you inclined to really dig someone. I actually liked Carth very much though - and have nothing against the VA.

I will agree that Bioware have done better with the other women in the game - I like Miranda, I adore Tali ... and, well, Samara is a big breasted dominatrix but at least she's not weak. Also from a character rather gendered perspective, I didn't quite *buy* Liara's shift from naive sheltered scientist to cold hard information broker.

I think what bugs me about Subject Zero is the lack of self-awareness in the portrayal - I genuinely believe it's a distasteful fantasy to indulge. Also the fact that it's tied into the morality system is just plain creepy - it's 'renegade' to have sex with a woman when she offers it, but 'paragon' to bone her while she weeps? EEEWWW! EWWWWW! EWWWW!! I think it plays into the idea tha sex is something women give to me to reward them ... rather than something that women want, and can enjoy, on their own terms.

Hello, err, me.yahoo.com/a/2Yqe00sizOcIYBx41yITkDVVKJA_7g--#6c7d4.

Your fixation on gender is rather telling

Telling in what way?

Love requires you to compromise pride and ego to attain something greater than yourself.

Like fuck it does.

What I see are two people engaged in a tender and emotional moment.

Really? Because what I see is a repulsive borderline misogynistic rape fantasy. If a woman started crying when I fucked her, I'd stop. I certainly wouldn't find it some kind of turn on.

And speaking of strong women, it takes a strong woman to truly give herself completely to intimacy, and the same of course is required of the man, to have a truly loving relationship.

And what, precisely, is Shepard giving up or compromising in this scene? It opens with her telling him he was right about everything. Also yours is a rather heterocentric depication of an ideal relationship isn't it?

Casual sex is entirely selfish, and the preference of the weak willed.

And arbitrary judgements are the refuge of the morally and intellectually cowardly.

But then it seems believable given the person Shepard proves himself to be (through paragon actions) and that he is an exceptional individual; peerless... saving the galaxy more than once.

Yes, heaven forefend she actually experience sexual desire.

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at 00:06 on 2010-02-03It's a Randian anti-feminist ideal. The greatest possible exemplar of humanity is the powerful male; the greatest possible exemplar of FEMININITY is a woman who willfully "romantically surrenders" to such a man. Indeed, rape is actually the most legitimate form possible of love, because it's the most authentic representation of man's intrinsic superiority.

Another woman who comes off pretty well: Aria T'loak. Forgot her the first time around.

If I have any interest in Subject Zero, it's because I deliberately mis-read the character and imagine that she really IS coming to the realization that she actually WASN'T the worst off at the Cerberus facility and that most of her misery IS self-inflicted. It's a character arc where she finally realizes that the most destructive thing in her life has been her own refusal to engage with other people relationally, and Shepard finally helps her realize that. It's ba-a-arely suggested by the actual text of ME2.

====

Since I can't reply to the Playpen, mind if I may a few comments on that GamaSutra article? I think it's rather accurate, personally. I'm also of the belief that a more complex game is not necessarily a more interesting game or (most crucially) a more fun game. With Mass Effect, most of its complexity came in the form of rubbish loot that the game vomited up continuously, which was impossible to manage with its complex inventory. The secondary source of complexity was the gigantic skill trees each character had.

There are definitely two options: Refine the systems so that they're complex AND ENTERTAINING, or discard the systems so that you're left with the good stuff you had before. Personally, since I have no interest whatsoever in managing inventory, I'm glad they chucked the "here, receive eight billion copies of the Kolyat VII Sniper Rifle! try to find time to sell all the gear you'll never bother to equip!" system. It might have been interesting to see it upgraded into something Borderlands-esque, but meh.

I'm ambivalent on the reduced complexity in the skill trees. One benefit to the simplified skill trees is that different characters, even ones with the same specialty, are pretty distinct mechanically. Jack in combat doesn't really play like Samara, and Zaeed and Jacob are pretty distinct too. Unlike in ME1, where a Soldier Shepard and Ashley were basically identical, except Shepard was always better because she got more skill points. On the other hand, having tons of options to build your character is neat.

I play more shooters than WRPGs anyway. I really appreciated ME2's refined cover system. It feels infinitely more natural and useful than ME1's, although it's still not as good as the cover in Gears or Uncharted.

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Wardog

at 09:38 on 2010-02-03

It's a Randian anti-feminist ideal

Oh God, it's been such a long time since I've looked at / thought about Rand, but, yes, you're right. There's a kind of romantic re-interpretation of this you can find in early romance novels, when female sexual desire was still something borderline inexpressible. You get a lot of psuedo-rape, awakening to true self yadda yadda stuff, but mainly as a cover so the heroine can get her rocks off without feeling guilty about it.

Another woman who comes off pretty well: Aria T'loak.

Oh, yes, she's awesome. It was really nice to see an Asari not being a nameless merc, lapdancer or a touchy-feely sex counsellor for once. Also I should probably emphasise I don't - in general - have an issue with the portrayal of women in ME. Just Subject Zero; and I was initally quite interested in the character myself because, although there was that 'trying too hard' air about her, I did quite like her, because she was hot, direct and well voice-acted. I thought the visit to her facility very nearly came off well - but then the whole thing degenerated into ICK.

With ref to the Gamasutra article - I think the issue is that a lot of the things ME II has discarded are considered endemic to the cRPG format/genre. I entirely agree with you about inventory mangaement - I want to play the game I've bought, not some tedious tetris-alike whereby I'm juggling resources from one box to another as efficiently as possible. But I think for a lot of people having an inventory that needs managing is as much a part of a cRPG as sprawling skill trees or having to visit a merchant every 10 minutes to offload your crap.

For me, I think a good computer games makes you feel like what you're suppoesd to be. I liked the pared down approach of MEII because all the stuff that made me feel I was playing a computer game (fucking inventory management) has gone and all the stuff that makes me feel like a bad ass sci-fi chick has been amped up. But I think the Gamasutra is right - because of this, it's genuinely debatable whether MEII is an RPG any more.

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Arthur B

at 10:04 on 2010-02-03The inventory management thing is especially odd when, as far as I'm aware, nobody really considers encumbrance rules, which would be their equivalent in tabletop RPGs, to be a necessary or vital component of a tabletop RPG system; I'm aware of several which don't have such a thing.

To be fair, with traditional RPGs you really ought to be able to rely on the participants not abusing this and having their characters running around carrying an obscene amount of kit. But on the other hand, JRPGs quietly gave characters inventories of nigh-unlimited size a long time ago. And I suspect some CRPG inventory systems were developed mainly to keep the size of saved games down, rather than being based on any real consideration of how much characters could actually carry... and have been retained, long past the point where save game size really matters (or at least, past the point where what's in your inventory is going to take up more than a tiny fraction of your saved game).

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at 15:00 on 2010-02-03Base-building and resource management is endemic to the RTS format, and grinding is endemic to the MMO format. While I'm not going to say with absolute certainty that those things are always lame (I've had fun building bases in Earth 2150), I am generally grateful when you get games that pare away that bullshit and give you something actually interesting.

And I suspect some CRPG inventory systems were developed mainly to keep the size of saved games down, rather than being based on any real consideration of how much characters could actually carry

Makes sense, especially when you look at the pencil-and-paper parallels. One obvious difference you have to consider when drawing analogies between CRPGs and tabletop RPGs is the absence of a GM. In Dungeons and Dragons, the dungeon master can just say "knock it off, you moron, you can't carry the entire contents of the dungeon with you" without needing any explicit rules about how you can only carry one hundred and forty pounds per point of Strength modifier.

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Melissa G.

at 15:09 on 2010-02-03I think it would be awesome if instead of a message popping up saying, "You can't carry any more in your backpack", the game message did say, "Knock if off, moron, you can't carry the entire contents of the dungeon with you". Perhaps followed with a "Greedy bastard. Isn't it bad enough that you're robbing corpses!" :-)

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Jamie Johnston

at 21:48 on 2010-02-03

Arthur, are you saying I can't be a Minority Warrior because I'm a woman?!

In the immortal words of Eric Idle,

'Don't you oppress me!'

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at 19:03 on 2010-02-04Some responses to the ME2 article Kyra posted:

Most of the actual criticisms seem fair enough. It would be nice if the levels weren't so clearly delineated between "combat area" and "walking-through area". It would be nice if the mission structure were changed up a bit. His suggestions generally seem reasonable.

Then he gets to the actual analysis, and it's like "This game basically blows and I can't believe anyone is dumb enough to like it, GOOD JOB bioware for blinding all the sheeple and dumbing down your game." Seems like he, too, is happily trumping up a game for the sake of an extreme byline.

It would also be really nice if people could criticize games without calling it "dumbed down". It's been part of the descriptive vocabulary for Deus Ex 2, Mass Effect 2, Modern Warfare 2, Bioshock, and really virtually any game that's gone from a PC background onto a console. Even in the case of Mass Effect, that started life on a console. Even if I buy into the idea that a more complex and difficult game is necessarily a better one, the overtly hostile elitism is incredibly distasteful.

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Rude Cyrus

at 19:38 on 2010-02-04I’m really enjoying Mass Effect 2 so far, and I agree with Kyra’s criticisms. Jack always rubbed me the wrong way, perhaps because she came off as dangerously psychotic, as opposed to, say, Grunt, who was merely antisocial. As creepy as the scene between Shepard and Jack was, I’m not sure you can call it a sex scene, considering they kept their clothes on the entire time. :P

Anyway, my new favorite character has to be Mordin: he initially comes off as a mad scientist-type, but he’s actually quite nuanced. One of the stranger (and more hilarious) moments of the game comes when he makes an offhand remark about singing in a Gilbert and Sullivan opera. When you ask about this, he launches into the Mass Effect version of the Major General song. When it was finished, I sat there for about 12 minutes and muttered “what the fuck” over and over.

As for the article posted in the Playpen -- yeah, I don’t like it, but I’d like to address one of the criticisms: in the “Bring Down the Sky” DLC for the first game, there’s an instance where the aliens do speak their own language, and a codex entry informs us that languages are translated via a subdermal implant, or something like that.

Oh, and I agree that the Paragon/Renegade choices are much smoother.

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at 19:42 on 2010-02-04Mordin is great. I was totally fascinated by his personal attempts to wrestle with the morality of the genophage. Plus he's just fun to listen to.

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Wardog

at 21:17 on 2010-02-04Mordin is fantastic - I'm looking forward to his operatic interlude.

Which reminds me. Amused: did you see the advert for all-Elcor Hamlet?

Garrus is still my homie though. I have no idea what the magic is but he's my favourite video game character ever. Possibly it's the buddy cop movie feel, or his voice acting, or the fact I can now I get it on with him (neither of us crying) but, yeah, Garrus for President!

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Rude Cyrus

at 22:03 on 2010-02-04The game also has, I think, a single example of an actual female krogan. It's easy to miss, but I was still floored.

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Wardog

at 09:31 on 2010-02-05Zomg! WHERE?!!

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Rude Cyrus

at 20:49 on 2010-02-05On Tuchanka, in the shaman's room, is a krogan named Natorth. She talks about being an envoy to the female clans and basically threatens you every time you prompt her. Like I said, easy to miss.

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at 22:24 on 2010-02-05

..there seems to be no understanding of how far are we meant to buy Subject Zero's rhetoric, how far she buys it herself, and to what extent it is rhetoric. I like the second trailer more than the first because she seems genuinely psychotic and dangerous – which puts her on par with most of the rest of the cast - as opposed to the first trailer which depicts her as somebody ultimately fearful and pretending.

The fact that she has killed many people and has no reservation of killing, completely disproves any notion that her killer persona is a pretense. Who cares why she kills, she does, and that alone makes her dangerous and worthy of respect.

I can understand that you don't like her character, but don't try and belittle her. You'd just be underestimating her and that would get you killed. (If she was a real person..since we're comparing her to a real person)

I finally played through the game as male Shepard, so I've seen a different side of Jack (initially I finished the game as the female Shepard).

Maybe the one thing you and others are forgetting is that Shepard is a peerless warrior and leader. Savior of the galaxy, more than once. It only makes sense that Jack would have more respect for him than any other person in her life. And ultimately fall in love. I also imagine she views him as non-threatening, which fosters her attraction to him.

I will concede that I was surprised in

how

she falls in love with Shepard. I suppose for the sake of brevity in the game, the entire process happens in a few scenes. She opens up to him far too quickly.

..but this is absolutely the most destructive and repulsive male fantasy there is. The supposedly 'strong' woman who is actually broken and helpless and just needs a male shoulder to cry on. Because, yes, a woman who weeps while you stick it to her is a real turn on. Don't get me wrong, I understand this fantasy. We all want to save women, especially from the cruelty of other men (see nice guy syndrome) but at least I'm self-aware enough to acknowledge it has absolutely nothing to do with women, and is incredibly, unspeakably unhealthy.

I could care less about what fantasies people have. It's when you allow fantasies to negatively affect/interfere with your life, is when it becomes problematic.

Also, when it comes to saving women or being protective of them, I think it has more to do with a subconscious (and irrational) perception of women as our daughters. Which would explain why men often perceive women as weak. The protective feeling also has no sexual motivation, at least for me, which also corroborates that theory. Weakness in a woman provokes a feeling of tenderness from me, as I see it as an opportunity to show kindness.

Oh and, I never saw her weeping when they were kissing. She only teared up once, initially, after speaking to Shepard. And I can't imagine they were having intercourse either, with their clothes on. Forgive me for saying but that seems like an odd inference. Maybe I'm old fashioned but in that situation, and just in general, I expect a little more foreplay involved before sexual intercourse.

The 'renegade' way is to get it on with Subject Zero is to shaft her against a bulkhead as soon as the opportunity arises – she will then discard you because you've proven yourself just another using manslut. The disturbing implication of this is, therefore, that Subject Zero doesn’t actually like sex – otherwise she’d be perfectly happy to keep fucking you, in this cheerful, no strings attached way.

Or maybe she hoped for more from him and was disappointed. And maybe she feels that as much as she could use him for sex, he would also be using her, which that renegade action made abundantly clear. It also says a lot about what Shepard thinks of her, if he is more concerned with screwing her body than getting to know the person standing in front of him. Maybe she realizes this insult, consciously or not, and feels compelled to deny him the pleasure of sex even if it means not gratifying herself.

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at 22:38 on 2010-02-05The paragon romance scene also goes to show that you never truly know someone. Often people keep their true feelings and their true self hidden. Until they meet the right person(s).

I also don't consider what happened between them to define Jack. It's a far stretch to say that one moment contradicts everything she has done in her life, or who she is.

I wouldn't consider a misanthrope, who found one person worthy of trust and respect, to immediately find all people worthy of some trust and respect. Jack is still the same killer, but as I hinted at before, compromise is intrinsic to love. I think she would always remain distrusting and hostile to people, unless in conflict with their relationship (such as Shepard's friends). I think this is just her fundamental nature, and some things a person can never change about themselves.

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Arthur B

at 22:48 on 2010-02-05

Who cares why she kills, she does, and that alone makes her dangerous and worthy of respect.

Because if you're a killer, you can't also be wracked with doubt and fear.

Also, when it comes to saving women or being protective of them, I think it has more to do with a subconscious (and irrational) perception of women as our daughters.

Because being paternalistic is so much better than being horny.

Maybe she realizes this insult, consciously or not, and feels compelled to deny him the pleasure of sex even if it means not gratifying herself.

Because women are the gatekeepers of sex who ration it out to men if they feel that the men are deserving.

Wow.

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Wardog

at 23:52 on 2010-02-05

(If she was a real person..since we're comparing her to a real person)

I'm not, I'm analysing her, and what her character implies, as a literary construct.

I could care less about what fantasies people have. It's when you allow fantasies to negatively affect/interfere with your life, is when it becomes problematic.

I refer you to your own comment here: "Weakness in a woman provokes a feeling of tenderness from me, as I see it as an opportunity to show kindness." It's kind of sad you need women to show 'weakness' in order to be kind to them; and that you need to use the vulnerability of others to make yourself feel better.

nd I can't imagine they were having intercourse either, with their clothes on. Forgive me for saying but that seems like an odd inference. Maybe I'm old fashioned but in that situation, and just in general, I expect a little more foreplay involved before sexual intercourse.

Err, lies on top of her, begins kissing her face and neck - and then it fades to black. I think that indicates forthcoming sexoring.

Or maybe she hoped for more from him and was disappointed. And maybe she feels that as much as she could use him for sex, he would also be using her, which that renegade action made abundantly clear. It also says a lot about what Shepard thinks of her, if he is more concerned with screwing her body than getting to know the person standing in front of him. Maybe she realizes this insult, consciously or not, and feels compelled to deny him the pleasure of sex even if it means not gratifying herself.

Again, this is entirely based on the notion that bad men want sex whereas woman want "something more." There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting physical gratification - it's not "an insult" between two consenting adults. Sex is not something men want and women give - it's an act of mutuality, whether it is based on desire or desire and love.

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Rami

at 06:16 on 2010-02-06

Maybe the one thing you and others are forgetting is that Shepard is a peerless warrior and leader. Savior of the galaxy, more than once. It only makes sense that Jack would have more respect for him than any other person in her life. And ultimately fall in love.

I don't know about you, but the idea of a dude who is so awesome that women's brains melt into loving submission around him sounds like a pretty dysfunctional portrayal of women in general. Worship != Love, y'know.

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Arthur B

at 14:28 on 2010-02-06Even if we take a very generous reading of me.yahoo.com's statement and interpret it as meaning that through his example Shepard inspires respect and loyalty in his/her allies (which isn't completely out there), there's still a

major

difference between respect and love. Love requires respect if it's going to function. But respect does not inevitably lead to love. People don't exist on a relationship continuum from "hatred" to "bonking".

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Jamie Johnston

at 21:35 on 2010-02-06Another indication (if we need another) that there's a categorical difference is that it's generally considered possible and healthy to admire and respect people you've never met, whereas (romantically) loving someone you've never met would be widely regarded as unhealthy or impossible.

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http://ibmiller.livejournal.com/

at 16:15 on 2010-02-07Sorry, random thought, but James Cameron's The Terminator seems built around the idea that loving someone you've never met it totally awesome. But then, I thought the first Terminator was really, really, um, dumb.

Now, admittedly, I am on rather a different ideological spectrum when it comes to gender issues than most of fb (e.g. I like Twilight, though not uncritically). Just want to say that before I comment further, so there's no confusion.

However, I really like the paragon romance with Jack (though I'm not sure I'd really want to play it - I like Tali more). While I see some of the problems of the victim syndrome, I'm not sure if it's necessarily a misogynistic impulse. I'm not really seeing how Jack (who is basically a bald River Tam, without the schizophrenia) learning to love is that different from, say, Katsa from Graceling (ducks). Both are extremely good at killing, both learn to open up emotionally, and both do so to men.

I'm not sure how I regard the idea that the tears are supposed to be a turn on. I don't think that's my reaction to them, as I saw them more as Jack finally trusting someone else instead of humiliation. However, I do see how loathsome and utterly vile nice guy syndrome is. I'm just not sure that this situation really fits that category.

Finally, I think that the Miranda scene is rather stupid - but then, I think Miranda is really, really annoying. I much prefer Tali or (from the first game) Ashley (though I could see how the latter is also open to similar charges, as her whole "I never felt good enough" backstory seems similar to the elements of Jack's backstory found objectionable).

(Side note: where I hang out, there's actually huge numbers of people who liked Kaiden - most of whom also liked Carth. Most of them are 30-40 year old female gamers, I think. Clarifying statement: I hope that my classification of those who like Carth doesn't dig me deeper in the hole I've no doubt I'm already in. I'm afraid it does, though. Nuts. Addendum: I really hope I don't come across quite as a completely arrogant idiot.)

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http://ibmiller.livejournal.com/

at 16:30 on 2010-02-07Hmmm, sorry for double posting, but I should clarify - my purpose in commenting is not that I have an axe to grind, but that I'm genuinely curious - I really don't see how Katsa and Jack are that different.

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Arthur B

at 18:10 on 2010-02-07Hmmm, the way I saw The Terminator I thought that Kyle was sort of boyishly obsessed with Sarah before he met her, but once they met there was in fact a sufficient spark which led to them falling in love. His confession is, after all, a confession, that comes about only once they have known each other for a while and he is opening up emotionally to her and she to him. His first words to her are, after all, "come with me if you want to live", not "I've loved you from afar for years! Come with me, your Time Stalker!"

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Rude Cyrus

at 07:48 on 2010-02-08I've finished ME2, and I haved to admit I have some mixed feelings about it, along with a few worries. First, it feels rather sparse in comparison to the first game -- the structure is basically "recruit people, do loyalty missions, do 3 other main plot missions, the end." It's surprisingly linear compared to its predecessor. Second, I'm worried that ME3 is going to be the same way. Bioware is trying to release ME3 in 2011, which is a surprisingly short development time, considering the first game came out in 2007. I fear they're going the Matrix/Pirates of the Caribbean route by developing both games at the same time. As you know the Matrix/PotC sequels were, well, kind of shit. I don't want that to happen with this franchise. I seriously love it.

Or maybe I'm just being paranoid.

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Wardog

at 16:35 on 2010-02-11@Ibmiller

Don't worry, I won't go off the deep-end :P

On the subject of Jack versus River ... I guess ... look at the series rather than the movie which attempted to tie up lose-ends in a rather unsatisfactory way, I would argue that the difference between Jack and River is that River is comprehensively broken in a way that seems unfixable. I mean, Simon looks after her, yes, but in a way that is delicately and ambiguously portrayed as not exactly being good for both of them. Nobody putting his cock in her and encouraging her to cry will make River 'better.' Nor is there ever any suggestion that what River needs to make her better is to have good ol girly cry about it, and rest her head on the chest of a strong man. (I love Firefly, by the way, River and Simon break my heart)

Also I think the difference between Katsa and Jack is that even though Katsa has issues with emotional (and physical) intimacy and has done some terribly violent things, her strength is unquestionably her own, unlike Jack. Katsa is badass because she is badass, not because she is broken.

Also I'm not sure comparing MEII and Graceling is entirely fair because they're such different mediums but I'll just re-quote my favourite line in the entirety of, well, romance actually:

He laughed “You may hunt for my food and beat me every time we fight, and protect me when we’re attacked, if you like. I’ll thank you for it.” “But I’d never need to protect you, if we were attacked. And I doubt you need me to do your hunting, either.” “True. But you’re better than I am, Katsa. And it doesn’t humiliate me.” He fed a branch to the fire. “It humbles me. But it doesn’t humiliate me.”

There's no element of this mutuality between Jack and the PC - Jack cries and opens herself to intimacy (and screwing), the PC doesn't. Of course, this is entirely a problem of the medium. Romances in computer games can only work in one direction, it's a big part of their limitation as a type of storytelling (although not necessarily as a type of interaction).

I'm probably not expressing myself very well - I am not against the idea of a character like Jack coming to express emotional imtimacy towards the PC, I think it's the juxtaposition of vulnerability / femininity / submission that kind of squicks me out. (I'm not against those things either by the way but I think they have to be explicit and acknowledged). There is no reason that Jack couldn't express her vulnerability and then for the characters to have ... you know ... rather less dodgy, weepy, violiny sex.

Actually if you compare it to, for example, the Tali scene it doesn't hold up well. I mean, Tali is clearly nervous (adorably nervous) and she babbles away until the PC reassures her. She's clearly quite emotionally vulnerable here as well - but when the PC removes her helmet she does this beautiful little thing where she's talking away and she just pounces on him and they kiss their way to silence. It's a lovely lovely little scene, because Tali is clearly entirely herself, healthy, consenting and *totally into you in a physical, sexual way*. Rock on.

I should probably have used Tali rather than Miranda - as I don't like Miranda either (hello ... personality pls?) but I wanted to compare human-against-human.

I also liked Ashley a lot, for what it's worth, and Carth. Does this officially make me 40 now? ;) I don't know why Kaiden didn't work since they're quite similar characters and even have the same VA. There's just something fundamentally decent about Carth, even if he does keep whinging about his dead wife.

And, no, you don't come across as an arrogant idiot - I suspect this whole article makes me sound like I'm frothingly obsessed with gender/sex issues.

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Wardog

at 16:39 on 2010-02-11@Cyrus

I kind of stalled at the end of the loyalty missions - I know exactly what you mean about the sense of linearity. Tbh, linear stories don't bother me but it's a little bit *too* all happening in one room-ish. I remember the first time I landed on the Citadel my tiny mind was completely blown by this vast vast place with all the aliens in it. But there's nothing like that to compare in MEII. I mean Omega is basically just a bar and some shops. There's no sense of this sprawling underworld of crime. I can't believe that such a vast galaxy feels so dinky.

I guess it's problematic since they're essentially burdening themselves with huge trailing tendrils of story as they go along but ... but ... I miss the vastness of spaaaaace.

I will finish it though because, like you, I am still crazily in love with the games.

And also with Garrus.

And also with Mordin who might just be the best video game character EVER. I love his moral complexity.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/2Yqe00sizOcIYBx41yITkDVVKJA_7g--#6c7d4

at 19:27 on 2010-02-11

Err, lies on top of her, begins kissing her face and neck - and then it fades to black. I think that indicates forthcoming sexoring.

That's the beauty of "fade to black". And the other story elements in the game. It's "open ended", leaving the viewer to see

what they want to see

. How each person interprets a situation is very telling of their thoughts and feelings.

I didn't see that scene having enough passion to make it reasonable to assume they had sex. Maybe all they did was kiss and hug each other. She was distraught, after all, which as you said is a strange emotion to have while consenting to intercourse... And yet you made that assumption. Am I the only one that thinks that a man and woman can just "cuddle" and not require intercourse?

If they did have sex, the scene afterward, shouldn't they have their clothes OFF? Or at the very least be partially nude and covered in a blanket, to imply they had sex?

I don't know about you, but the idea of a dude who is so awesome that women's brains melt into loving submission around him sounds like a pretty dysfunctional portrayal of women in general. Worship != Love, y'know.

I said nothing of worship. Jack has a problem trusting anyone, and believes that everyone ultimately take interest in her or uses her, for their own selfish reasons. She even describes her feelings about the last time she fell in love. I think because of the

person

Shepard is, she is more inclined to open up to him emotionally, and out of all the people on that ship, it's for that reason that Shepard seems the most likely person she would fall in love with. Of course, not that I expect her to fall in love with him, I'm just saying it makes sense that she does.

The 'renegade' way is to get it on with Subject Zero is to shaft her against a bulkhead as soon as the opportunity arises – she will then discard you because you've proven yourself just another using manslut. The disturbing implication of this is, therefore, that Subject Zero doesn’t actually like sex – otherwise she’d be perfectly happy to keep fucking you, in this cheerful, no strings attached way.

Maybe she doesn't discard him or consider him a "manslut", nor is it evidence that she doesn't like sex. I think that when a person engages in casual sex, the intimate nature of the act can change the way each person feels about the other, namely their physical and emotional compatibility.

Also you assume that he would consent to having sex with her on more than one occasion. Maybe he just wanted to have a fling with her and really pursue someone else, like Miranda. Of course the limitations of the game wouldn't allow this, but it still seems plausible.

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http://ibmiller.livejournal.com/

at 19:55 on 2010-02-11Whew, I'm glad I didn't offend too badly. Thank you for such a thoughtful and helpful response - that does help clarify my questions.

I see what you're saying about River, though I'm curious how this explanation and contrast with Jack's storyline fits with River's only made better through her brother (a man's) actions (in series, at least, though in the movie it was sort of a reverse fridge thing), and her frequent crying in said man's arms (albeit certainly not sexual unless you really, really love squick). I agree that the sex thing seems a bit out of place if looked at as the actual healing action - though I think it's mostly an "awkward placement" thing (or can be), since I think it happens late in the game, and they may have been pressed for where else to put the two events (healing and sex).

I'm confused as the reason Katsa and Jack being badass is important - it isn't a choice on either of their part. It's just that Katsa is born with it, and Jack is experimented on. I actually have problems with the whole "superpowered empowerment" thing, since it's terribly unhelpful if you're trying to say something about the "real world" (and I think it's been analyzed on fb at least once before). I mean, even guys don't get much help from thinking "Well, Spider-man can cling to walls, so I will be a good dude and save people," so why would women say "Well, Buffy/River/Jack/Katsa have a demon/experiments/Grace and can defend themselves, so I will be a strong woman and hit people." Doesn't seem to make sense to me.

I think you highlight the real problem or dissonance between interpretations with your comments on medium problems. I personally would read and play the Jack romance with a lot of imagined scenes (that would be pretty unnecessary for the plot and game mechanics, so I don't think it's really a weakness on the game's part that they're not there) in which the main character also opens up (not only to Jack, but other characters) and is vulnerable. After all, one of the reasons I love BioWare games is that you need party members - I'm not a huge fan of FPS or other single-player games. I like the "interaction" (plus I got fed up with "the Chosen One" trope a long time ago).

However, I agree that the Tali romance plot and scenes rock. But I think the Jack ones aren't necessarily as misogynist - at least you don't have to play them as if they were. But then, I also like to handicap myself in RPG to "roleplay." Like playing KotOR with knives or pistols, just because, and then making up a backstory as to why, when the game is clearly geared towards lightsabers.

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http://rebootfromstart.livejournal.com/

at 19:45 on 2010-02-14

If they did have sex, the scene afterward, shouldn't they have their clothes OFF?

Just a little point here: you don't necessarily need to take your clothes off to have sex.

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Arthur B

at 11:15 on 2010-02-15Also, it's worth pointing out that "fade to black" has had a fairly consistent history of being used to indicate that sexual shenanigans of some nature are about to take place. Yes, it can be used to create a deliberate ambiguity. But it is just as often used - and in the sort of context we're talking about here, is almost

always

used - not to create ambiguity, but to quite unambiguously indicate that sex has occurred without actually showing it.

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Wardog

at 16:29 on 2010-02-15@Ibmiller

I hope you don't think it's a copout that I respond generally rather specifically to individual points - I guess I have real problems with the whole broken / bad-ass spectrum of female characters. I mean it's partially tied in with the Empowerment From Disempowerment aka Victim Dilemma that Dan writes about but I think it just ties in quite awkwardly with notions of strong women and their place in the world. I mean one of the reasons I really loved early season Buffy (before Joss Whedon got bitten by the feminist bug) is that early season Buffy is a genuinely strong female character - in that she kicks vampire ass AND simultaneously is a pretty blonde girl who wants a boyfriend and to be a cheerleader. Of course it's partially a joke (incongruity alert! this small blonde girl is KICK ASS!) but until the show went barging down A HERO MUST TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND MAKE SACRIFICES AND OH BY THE WAY BUFFY IS TOTALLY WRECKED boulevard both aspects of her life had validity... and often you spent the episodes wondering if she would make the cheerleading squad ... oh and also kill the bad guy. I think that's a nice combination, personally. And, again, the thing I really like about early Buffy was that her powers, like getting bitten by a radioactive spider, were just something she had (before she had to get in touch with da spirits of de first slayer or whatever crack that was).

And the different between the broken badass empowered woman versus, say, Spiderman is that although Spiderman struggles to balance being a super-hero and being a normal guy, there's never any question that if he didn't have a moral duty to save people he'd be *fine*. The problems he faces in everyday life are not because, like, he's totally wrecked by his experiences with the spider but because he has chosen a life of ultimate self-sacrfice. You don't doubt for a moment that, if only he could, Mary Jane would be lucky to have him. Whereas with broken bad-ass chicks that which makes them bad-ass is also that which makes them non-fuctional as a person or, implied, as a woman.

I genuinely think the Jack Love Arc is not okay (although I do see your arguments why it might be) - it's not that there's anything per se wrong with a healing-through-lurve thingy, it's the fact that the cRPG format can offer no sense of reciprocity. And the fact he bones her while she cries. Dude. It just strikes me as *potentially* playing into a dodgy fantasy of emotional rescue - you know that the PC can't give her anything (like his cock) while she's "strong" only when she's weak and weeping.

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http://tristanjsstuff.blogspot.com/

at 04:24 on 2010-05-30Out of curiosity, what did you think of Shepard's and Jack's friendship? I've only played through 2 as Nice!Fem!Shepard, and she seemed more like she was trying to 'fix' Jack, and by the end of the game, it seemed more like Jack was on the road to recovery.

Also, I don't understand why Jack wanting closure by blowing the crap out of the hellhole she came from is 'touchy feely crap cause she's a woman'. Sounds like a perfectly understandable (if not reasonable or healthy) response.

Finally, what would you have thought if Jack had all the exact same backstory, personality, motivations and interactions, but was male? Again, I'm just curious.

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Arthur B

at 23:00 on 2010-07-23So I just beat Mass Effect 2. Thoughts:

- I played it as Asshole Shepherd, which is quite good for avoiding sexual creepiness towards Jack. The Renegade attitude towards her (when it doesn't involve trying to bone her) seems to involve a rugged determination not to enable her moping whilst letting her do what's necessary to work through her issues, which just seems miles healthier than "let me heal you with my dick". Either way, I was glad that completing her loyalty mission unlocks the option to make her wear a shirt.

- The loyalty missions could be a bit more diverse. It would be nice to have more which didn't end with the NPC in question confronting a character from their past and either killing them or not killing them. (I quite liked Thane's one for that reason actually).

- I was really impressed with the way they structured the suicide mission and the potential for major NPCs (and you) dying during it. Though apparently Zaeed is a suboptimal person to lead the B-team in the suicide mission, which seems... bizarre. You're told you need to pick someone who's used to leading a team. He once led a whole mercenary army. You'd think he'd be perfect for it.

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Arthur B

at 02:02 on 2010-07-25Double post because I forgot to mention something:

YOU CAN BUY

BOO

AND KEEP HIM IN YOUR CABIN

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Bookwyrm

at 05:08 on 2013-07-05I have a couple questions. When you said Jack was a "pseudo-badass" were you just referring to the story or were you including the game play too? According to

TV Tropes

, Jack is one of the weaker characters despite being touted as one of the most powerful human biotics in the cut scenes.

I haven't played the game myself so I wanted to know if she was at least useful in combat(if you used her at all). Also, what did you think her character in Mass Effect 3?

(Personally I'd like to know how someone with an extensive criminal record and clear psychological issues managed to get a teaching job at Grissom Academy within six months.)

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http://arilou-skiff.livejournal.com/

at 11:59 on 2013-07-05^ Companions don't make that much of a differenc really, pick the one you're most comfortable with.

"- I was really impressed with the way they structured the suicide mission and the potential for major NPCs (and you) dying during it. Though apparently Zaeed is a suboptimal person to lead the B-team in the suicide mission, which seems... bizarre. You're told you need to pick someone who's used to leading a team. He once led a whole mercenary army. You'd think he'd be perfect for it."

He's also the guy whose team always ends up either dead or betraying him :p

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Arthur B

at 12:15 on 2013-07-05

He's also the guy whose team always ends up either dead or betraying him :p

True enough, but the more distance on it I get the more the suicide mission's underlying assumptions and logic seems counter-intuitive and oblique and impenetrable. Which is good if you want people to occasionally die apparently arbitrarily for reasons the player can't fathom, except that really doesn't seem to have been what Bioware were aiming for.

Possibly this is a side effect of me preferring to ignore

ME2

these days, partly because in retrospect I see bits of

ME3

stuff creeping in there (like the weird way it makes you want to consider Cerberus stuff important but then refuses to let you actually interact with it in any interesting fashion) and partly because my peak of enthusiasm for the series was at the end of

ME1

, where it felt like there was still a whole universe out there to explore and the story could go

anywhere

from that point.

[junker-town]

‘The Bachelorette’: We meet the sports-y men vying for Becca Kufrin’s heart

Night 1 was full of gimmicks and Globetrotters.

Welcome to Week 1 of The Bachelorette. We are recapping the show because The Bachelor is sports. In case you missed it, we broke down the 28 suitors vying for Becca’s heart.

Greetings, Sports Bachelor Nation friends. I’m excited to have you join me on this journey this season as we find out if our girl Becca Kufrin can win the game of love. I’m especially excited to take over the beat as I can finally tell my mom that I have to watch the show because it’s for work.

The episode opened with a quick refresher on how Becca got her heart brutally ripped out by Captain Bland Arie last season, reminding all of us that no matter how this journey winds up for her, it will still be better than being stuck with him.

Becca was quickly joined by reinforcements in the form of former Bachelorettes Rachel, JoJo, and Kaitlyn, all of who are still flaunting those Neil Lane symbols of Forever Love they found with Chris Harrison’s assistance.

Let’s get started, shall we?

The Men’s Intro Videos

Appreciate you, ABC, for kicking off the bios with football player Clay to emphasize that The Bachelorette is, in fact, sports. Everything Clay is pretty adorable, from him helping his grandmother out of her wheelchair while making a squats joke to him spending time with his family.

These intro videos are always so awkward as they pose thoughtfully in front of bodies of water and stage phone calls and interactions with loved ones. Garrett gave us his best Chris Farrell impersonation, which ranged from passable to cringeworthy, while Jordan the model literally posed thoughtfully in what he dubbed “the pensive gentleman.”

There’s a Chicagoan grocer named Joe, so I’m excited for a season’s worth of “Trader Joe” content. He can’t wink (though he certainly tried several times) but he’s great with produce puns.

Getting Out of the Limo

Colton pops out of the limo first with two confetti cannons, and honestly it was perfection:

Let's get poppin'! #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/rkgrkUR0xa

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 29, 2018

Football player Clay came out with the perfect play on words, saying that he has “...caught a lot of passes in my day, but if I were to land you, you’d by far be the biggest catch of my life.”

I’m embarrassed to admit how loudly I “awwwwwwed” at that.

The majority of the intros were thankfully tame as Jean Blanc taught Becca “let’s do the damn thing” (apparently her season’s catchprase) in very bad French, John went the wrong way around the giant fountain, and Nick the attorney, showed up in a race car driving suit in an elaborate way of making fun of Arie before saying “I’m usually good with opening statements.”

Garrett showed up in a mini-van, saying he’d be a good husband and dad, and I have to tell you how much I HATE myself for being attracted to him. He’s adorable, and honestly it seems like Becca is digging it. He definitely spent the most time with her and had her do the flirty double-over laugh.

Trent decided to forgo the limo and instead came in a hearse, accompanied by the line: “When i heard you were the bachelorette I literally died, but then you brought me back to life.”

Not bad.

There were also a handful of guys that we’ve seen before on After the Final Rose. First up was Blake, who previously had put Becca “back on the horse,” so he took it up (down?) a notch by riding in on an ox. He was surprisingly shocked that she remembered him as if she is frequently lifted on to animals by men she doesn’t know.

Blake is followed with Lincoln, who also met Becca on the live show. He brought a piece of cake to share because the last time was his birthday. I feel like bringing a girl cake is a solid move, especially when you factor in that she’s standing outside of a mansion meeting a line of men for what I can only assume is several hours straight.

Becca apparently knows one of the guys — Jake from Minneapolis — and is someone she calls an “acquaintance” ... which I can’t say bodes well for Jake from Minneapolis.

Jordan talked about fashion the entire time. THE. ENTIRE. TIME. He said the words “sea foam” and judged the ever-loving hell out of these guys. His biggest pet peeves? Men with no socks, no ties, no belts, no pocket squares, and boring blazers. Then David the venture capitalist arrived, and stepped out of the limo in a full on chicken suit and yelling “BECCAW!”

I’d like to give David credit for this, but nothing will be better than when Jesse (Skylar Astin) says it to Beca (Anna Kendrick):

Worst Limo Gimmicks

Arie was a popular topic, as Nick the attorney showed up in a race car driving suit to make fun of the man who spurned Becca before saying, “I’m usually good with opening statements.” SPORTS ANALYST MIKE brought an Arie cutout out of the limo so that he could “see her as happy as she is now.”

Those were nothing compared to the tactic Kamil tried. Kamil, whose job is listed as a “social media participant,” stopped just steps out of the limo, as he tried to get her to meet him halfway as you often have to do in a relationship.

Ok, not bad.

Then, the took two steps further back and told her “well, really 60-40”.

AWWW HELL NO.

To Becca’s credit, she shut that down immediately and clearly didn’t find the stunt funny or cute. Nothing says “I’m here to start a loving relationship” like telling the other person they’re going to have to concede equal footing from the jump.

Mingling With the Men

After welcoming all 28 men to the mansion, Becca greets them with the normal platitudes of her being there to find love. It has to be such a daunting feeling to look out at 28 strangers and dread the amount of small talk coming your way.

Some things we learned over the course of the night:

Clay is endearingly sweet, saying Becca was his favorite all last season and brought clay for them to play with because, you guessed it, his name is Clay.

The group keeps bringing up Arie and their failed relationship, which seems like a questionable plan of attack.

One of the guys (John) made the app for Venmo. He seems normal enough, so yeah, maybe keep him around for a bit.

Jean Blanc wrote a poem. Now maybe I’m the weird one, but if someone busts out a poem that they wrote for me, I’m running in the other direction.

Things really heated up when Christon, the former Harlem Globe Trotter dunked over Becca, literally. It was awesome and as long as the dude didn’t mess up my hair I’d be very impressed. That led to pick up basketball in the driveway, which went surprisingly well and ended with Christon dunking over David the chicken as he yelled “BECCAW” repeatedly.

David the Chicken is actually very good looking, and when he finally took the chicken head off, Becca seemed super into him. Maybe that was the glass of champagne on the table in front of her, but there were a lot of smiles, laughs and flirty vibes.

Best Dude Bro Exchange

Garrett teaching Becca how to fly fish in the mansion pool is arguably the cutest thing that has ever happened at the Bachelor mansion and led to my favorite dude bro exchange of the night:

Dude bro #1: “I wonder if he’s catching anything”

Dude bro #2: “Feelings. He’s catching feelings.”

SOMEONE ISN’T HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

Chris (who brought the choir) took Blake (with the Ox) and Christon (the Globetrotter) outside and told them both he and Chase are from Orlando, Florida. Apparently, on the After the Rose show where Becca met five of these suitors, one of Chase’s ex-girlfriends (that Chris is friends with) texted Chris and let him know that Chase’s intentions aren’t pure.

We have our first “not here for the Right Reasons” of the season and it’s only the first night — how did we get so lucky?!

According to Choir Chris, Chase is trying to revamp his marketing company (you know, as stints on reality television are known to do). Chris asks Blake and Christon if he should say something. Blake and Christon, who have clearly seen these shows before, encourage this knowing it usually blows up in the face of the one who rats out those not there for the Right Reason.

Unsurprisingly, Chase tells Chris that the ex, Danielle, blew their relationship out of proportion (they only saw each other for like two weeks) and he is for sure here for the Right Reasons.

Chase spoke to Becca right after to “get ahead of it,” telling her a woman he dated for “a month” (YOUR STORY IS FALLING APART, CHASE), sent a text but he’s “totally not that guy.” Well, that clears it up. He decides to bring Chris into this conversation, creating the most awkward interaction on an opening night of this franchise... which is saying something.

I’m uncomfortable and need a drink. There was a lot of talking around a topic and cliches about being a good guy and looking for love.

JAKE FROM MINNEAPOLIS.

Becca, rightfully, wants to know why a guy that runs in her social circles back home — and whom she has met several times — is interested in her now that she’s on a television show. She claims they’ve met many times and that she would constantly question his motives, so she sends him packing back to Minneapolis.

Honestly, shout out to Becca for knowing what she wants.

First Impression Rose

Garrett won her heart over with the mini-van showing and the fly fishing instruction. He clearly made her comfortable and she seemed happy in his company. She says she was “smitten” by him, and lordy I do not blame her.

He scored the first kiss, too, which was the sweetest. Usually these things come off cheap and tawdry, but they actually seemed like a couple.

#TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/CX1fWHiwbv

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 29, 2018

Rose Ceremony

Becca begins with a spiel thanking the guys for their patience and for taking the time to come on this journey. She says she must follow her gut and her heart when doling out these roses.

The rose ceremony then brings us the absolute best quote of the night, when Leo laments his long wait for a rose by saying he was, “looking out at a sea of highway patrol officers” and hoping his different look didn’t turn Becca off.

He got his rose.

Gone Too Soon

Poor one out for the bros that didn’t make it to next week:

Jake from Minneapolis

Chase

Joe (So many Trader Joe grocery store lines are now deleted and sent into the ether)

Kamil

Christian

Darius

Grant