#I’m sorry babyyy

[iwaasfairy]

hello hihihi, been a follower for a while but what are your thoughts on.. Mommy's boy!Shidou ? :3

Atsuko is the only fiend for his mom I respect

[dykesevika]

It always upsets me so much seeing her lose her arm for a second time :(

Men DNI

[beepmeowiskarkat]

wip

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

really do sometimes wish tumblr had an algorithm like other sites cuz i feel the need to remind the public i am anti feysand in a feyre needs a divorce way not a they should both die fiery deaths way

[fxreflyes]

🫧🫧 pleaseeee <3

(It’s okay to rb, no worries!! thank u for asking tho <33)

hi loopsie!! 🫶🏻 u give me songs that are bops but like a little melancholic about it (the best genre imo) so so typically now - US girls, your name - April June, I’m not perfect (but I’m trying) - rachel Chinouriri

send me a 🫧 and I’ll send u a song that matches your vibes

[amoriscustos]

one more thing i’ll say

i’m still so shook over how much that first op bamboozled me. i thought my mans junpei would be part of the crew 😭

[intelligent-space-gay]

me feeling bad about not being able to work this week bc I feel kind of okay but then remembering I’ve spent the past 3 days in bed waiting for my 4 hours to be up so I can more nurofen and alternating between different meds that would treat my shitty symptoms and I would definitely not make it through a shift

[harrietmwelch]

once again, i’m sorry for being a nerd, but i think i’m hilarious even if the algorithm doesn’t think so

[aerinaga]

Paige with a size kink like here me out this girl is like 6’0 and got muscles I can totally see her making fun of her girl and stuff like in bed too yk

baby babyyy.

paige bueckers x short!reader

warnings: smut (eating out, size kink, praising kink, choking, bulge kink)

you woke up to paige eating you out.

you had fallen asleep while using your phone in your bedroom, paige had been teasing at you that you were tiny since this morning. it wasn’t always this annoying, but today was somehow different.

you weren’t that small, its just that paige is a six footer and everybody just looks like ants in her vision.

your eyes were half-lidded, not fully aware of what was happening. all you felt was pleasure. it was your favorite thing for her to eat you out. your hands immediately gripped onto her hair that was tied in a perfect bun, creating messy strands and dents on her head.

she held your legs down with her muscles, restraining you from closing your legs. your legs were shaking, the grip on her hair was getting tighter. you were about to cum.

about to. paige got up, went to the bathroom and came out with a strap hanging off her hips. your inner thighs were wet, but it got wetter. paige hovered above you, your eyes meeting each other. your eyes were pierced against hers as she inserts herself in you. your head throws back from the pain and pleasure, moans coming out of you pretty mouth.

“sorry baby, i needed to be in you badly.”

paige stares as you admirably, acknowledging the fact that you’re a wet mess because of her.

she fastens her pace, pushing in and out of you. the room echoes with wet slaps and moans. you could hear how wet you were. “doing so good for me baby.” she whispers against your ear, earning a soft moan from you.

“you’re so tiny beneath me, its pretty cute.” she laughs at you. you roll your eyes, but as soon as you do, her fingers wrap around your throat. she puts slight pressure on the sides of your neck, while fucking you in a faster pace than earlier.

you loved how she would just fuck the attitude out of you.

“feel s-so big, p.” you stutter in moans, the pleasure overtaking you.

paige loves that. she loves the fact that you tell her that she feels big.

“do you feel this hm?” paige asks you as she guides your hand on your lower stomach. there was a bulge.

“oh…” you trail off. “i’m that big, baby.” she doesn’t waste any time fucking you senselessly. you were shaking at this point, the knot in your stomach feeling tighter by the minute.

it took one last time for paige to hit your g-spot. thats when all the pressure was released in your body.

[skeletonzimms]

ROMONOV NO

[mischievousmoony]

𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚜

⟢ james potter x reader ⟢ your boyfriend walks a drunk you home ⊹ 773 ⟢ warnings/tags: intoxication

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“Babyyy wait,” you whine, tripping over your own two feet as you walk down the abandoned streets of London.

You lean against the bricks of a random townhouse, swaying slightly. James’ hand, which hasn’t left the small of your back since you two left the bar, presses against you more firmly while his other raises to grip your waist, effectively steadying you in place.

The pair of you are heading home from a long night out with friends. Well into the A.M., James made the decision to bid your friends goodnight when he interrupted a game of ‘who can drink more’ between you and Sirius.

“What is it?” he asks, eyes carefully studying every inch your face as if your expression will reveal all of your thoughts and worries.

“M’shoe’s untied,” you mumble, looking down at your white trainers, scuffed from the way you’ve been kicking your own feet as you stumble home.

James’ eyes follow yours, “Oh, I’m sorry, love,” he murmurs, pressing an affectionate kiss against your temple as his head comes back up. He takes in your surroundings quickly, his eyes landing on the front steps to the townhouse you’re planted against.

“C’mere,” he says, wrapping his arm tightly around your waist to lead you to the stone stairs.

He eases you down on the second step, not before brushing any dirt or debris out of your way, and kneels before you.

James makes quick work of your shoelaces, checking in that he hasn’t drawn them too tightly before he finishes looping them through.

You mumble a complaint at the second tie, changing your mind about the tightness as you uncomfortably wiggle your foot in your shoe. Without a shred of frustration, James unties your shoe and loosens the laces before he starts again.

“How’s that, love?” he asks, his fingers pitter pattering against the firm leather that encases your toes.

You wiggle your foot again before deciding, “Better,” with a pleased smile playing at your lips.

“Alright,” James says, his voice gravely as he pushes himself up into a standing position. He holds both of his hands out to you, “Let’s get you up now.”

You place your hands in his large ones, but just ask he starts to tug you up, your arms go slack.

James breathes out chuckles of amusement. “You’ve got to help me some, love.”

“‘M tired,” you complain, your body following suit as you hang limply from James’ hands.

His eyes are soft as he watches you sink into some strangers front steps. Any other person would probably be quite annoyed trying to usher a drunk you home, but James is filled with nothing but an unwavering adoration for you.

“The sooner we get you up, the sooner we get you in bed,” James says in a lilting, convincing voice.

“Could just sleep here on the pavement,” you decide, your eyes fluttering in a series of exhausted blinks.

If it comes down to it, James would be resolute about carrying you home and letting you sleep in his arms, but he tries one more tactic before resorting to that.

“Think about this, though, if we get you to our warm bed we can wrap ourselves up in our cozy blankets,” his tone remains soft and compelling, “and I’ll get to hold you and run my fingers through that pretty hair.”

You stir at his words, holding onto his hands a bit firmer.

“Yeah?” you wonder.

“Yeah, my love. So, what do you say? Will you let me take you home so I can hold you?” James gives your hands a loving squeeze.

“Mhm,” you hum, your head bobbing in a nod as you finally brace yourself to be lifted.

James bares his teeth triumphantly. “Here we go,” he warns before tugging to you your feet.

You stumble into him, but James is ready to catch you as his arms wrap protectively around your waist.

He arches his upper body away from you so he can get a good look. One of his hands comes to the side of your head to smooth out your hair affectionately, “Ready to keep going?” he asks.

You hum another positive response and James pecks you twice, once on the forehead and then he can’t resist planting another on your lips.

He swivels, pressing his side into yours as his protective arm remains clasped around you, and begins leading you back down the street.

“Let’s get you home now,” he whispers lovingly.

“Where you’ll play with m’hair?” you verify, your drunken words melting together lazily.

His throat rumbles with tender laughter. “Yes, love, where I’ll play with your hair.”

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

[kissitbttr]

short mma!toji and his pretty pop star girlfriend being cutesies!

—

“let me see baby!” you rush in pure excitement with your skin tight leather pink dress and white gogo boots, wanting to see your man in makeup for your newest music video release,

it took a while for him to finally agree, because could you imagine having the number one world class fighter to be in his girlfriend’s girly music video? my god, the sports entertainment would probably laugh at him.

but seeing the look in your doe eyes was enough to make him fold. plus, his manager shiu and the PR team thought it would be a great idea anyway.

“he doesn’t want you to see him like this, y/n” the makeup stylist laughs as she opens the door slightly to poke her head out,

you pout at that, tip toeing to see whether or not you can catch a glimpse of him. “well that wouldn’t make sense! because we are starting in an hour! toji, can i come in?”

“i look so ridiculous, ma” he calls out with a grunt, head shaking as he eyes himself in the mirror. the fake bruises and cut lips makes him scoff. “these are so unrealistic, real battered face look way worse than this”

rolling your eyes, you thank the makeup stylist before going in. the moment you see his reflection in the mirror, a gasp flies off your mouth. seeing your boyfriend perched on the small chair, his large muscled body adorned in a black tank and dark jeans. handsome face touched with bits of makeup that makes it look like he had just gotten off a street fight.

oh dear, he look fine as hell.

he notices your stare, causing him to smirk and chuckle. “come e’re baby girl” his hand pats his meaty thigh, waiting for you to come near,

“babyyy” you giggle, practically skipping towards him before wrapping your arms around his neck from behind. “you look so so handsome” a squeal spills from your lips, before attaching them against his cheek. leaving a sheer stain of lipgloss,

his arm circles around the back, resting a hand just below her rear. “do i? i feel ridiculous. i’ve never had a makeup on before”

you nod, perching yourself on his thigh before he secures both arms around your waist. “you don’t ji-ji! you look just like a movie star already!”

he laughs at your compliment, kissing your neck. “thank you, ma”

“are you ready? the director wants us out now” you tilt your head to the side, thumb going up to remove the stain off his cheek,

he nods, running his hand through his hair. “ready as i am doll”

—

toji was in fact, not ready.

because how the hell was he supposed to act right with the cameras rolling when his girlfriend look that fucking good enough to eat?

the cups of her dress pushes her tits upwards to make them look fuller, and her plush thighs were wrapped tightly with white garters that all toji wanted to do was to pull them off with his teeth. his eyes keep falling at the sight of her pretty lips too.

was he supposed to just let it slide and still follow the script?

“toji, for the last time” the director grumbles, feeling irritated at the repeated delay because of the fighter’s mistake. “your hands should be on her face—not her ass”

he emphasizes on the last word while glaring at the man. you could only giggle seeing your boyfriend getting scolded, though you reminded him prior to be on his best behavior,

however toji is known to be a man who hates to follow simple rules,

“can you blame me?” toji’s hands squeeze your ass harder while looking at the director. “my girlfriend is hot as fuck, and you’re telling me you’re not tempted by that?”

“i wouldn’t know motherfucker, i’m gay”

toji could only snort, pulling you closer to his chest. “my bad, man i’m sorry” you reach up to kiss his jaw, and it only makes toji to yearn more of your touch,

“now—what should i do again?” he asks for the hundredth time that day,

the director rolls his eyes, but decides to answer anyway. “look into her eyes, hands on her face. she’s going to sing the lines to—toji fucking fushiguro, hands off her tits! that’s not how it’s supposed to go!”

-

@spideyyeet inspired me to make this one😩🩷

[kodienne06]

Mini comic time babyyy

This has been on my mind ever since I found out PJ just reverts to ink puddle form when extremely tired

Transcript;

Palette: Hey, Gradient?

Gradient: Yeah?

Palette: Why is there a giant black puddle in my kitchen?

Gradient: First of all, I’m offended that you assume I know what it is.

Palette: Okay?

Gradient: Second, that’s just PJ. Leave her alone if you value your life.

Palette: (I liked this mat…)

~ Long Silence ~

Palette: I’m sorry, WHAT?!

Gradient: (It’s your funeral!)

I would’ve drawn PuddleJam but I’ve got a plane ride in a few hours and I haven’t slept lol

Palette by angeutblogo

Gradient by ask-combo-club

offscreen PaperJam by 7goodangel

[fairy-angel222]

𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐤𝐨 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐠𝐮𝐲 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𐙚⋆.˚

(a very old work based on a very old request)

Shoko watching with dark eyes as you let some guy hit on you, a shy smile on your face as he sweet talked. She scoffed, two slender fingers pulling the cigarette from her lips to let a thick cloud of smoke fill the air around her.

Leaning further onto the counter, she took a sip of her drink. Downing the bitter liquid before she was stalking towards you, the cigarette now hanging loosely between her fingers. Your smile faltered as you watched her walk to you, her head tilted to the side with a smirkish grin gracing her features.

Shoko knew you looked hot with the way your short dress hugged your curves perfectly. Hell, she’d hit on you too if you weren’t already hers. Making her way through sweaty bodies, she smiled sweetly as she reached you and the random guy. Resisting the urge to scowl at all the hungry eyes on you. Make it known that you were taken.

“Hope i’m not interrupting anything,” she laughed lightly.

Your eyes widened when the man groaned, “Yeah, you kind of are.” Watching Shoko’s eye twitch as her eyebrow raised.

“Sho-”

“Well, sir, i believe you’re talking to someone that belongs to me. So, if you don’t mind, not that i care, we’ll be leaving now.” Grabbing hold of your hand and pulling you with her, turning to flip the man off before her hand snaked around your waist. “C’mon baby, we’re going home.”

You thought she’d at least be a little bit mad. But she seemed so calm and collected as she drove, a fresh cigarette sat between her teeth as she maneuvered the vehicle with a smirk. “Couldn’t have at least let him be hot?” She chuckled, turning to glance at you shortly.

“S-sorry.”

“No, no. It’s okay baby, I’m not mad, that idiot was the one flirting, not you.” she reassured. Making you nod with a small smile at her words.

You’re quick to begin a conversation for the rest of the ride home. Going back to your normal chatty self even as you two walked through the door of your apartment. Shoko smiled to herself when you reached your shared bedroom. Peeling the tight black dress off your body before sitting to take off your heels.

Dropping onto the side of the bed, your girlfriend took off her normal attire. The air turning a foggy white as she beckoned you closer.

“Yes baby?” you giggled, finding yourself sat next to her looking up through your lashes. Shoko pushed you down onto the bed with an innocent smile, crawling on top of you almost seductively. Kissing down the sides of your neck and onto your chest before taking one of your breasts into her mouth. You let out a soft whimper, your head falling to the side to give her more access as her hands reached up to take yours. A yelp sounding in your throat when you were suddenly cuffed to the headboard.

“Babyyy, thought you weren’t mad,” you whined. “He flirted, not me. Remember?”

She hummed, “that may be true, but you let him baby.” Running her thumb over your bottom lip before kissing it softly. “Now you gotta make it up to me.” Spreading her legs and positioning them at the sides of your head, settling comfortably on your face so that her cunt hovered directly onto your lips.

Shoko giggled, her nail tracing up your stomach as she arched her hips in preparation. Her cigarette back between her lips as she took a long drag. “Better start putting that tongue to use baby.”

She moaned loudly when your tongue darted out to lick a stripe up her wet folds. Her hips rutting back and forth when you began lapping at her slick. Your chin glistening as you made out with her leaking pussy.

“Ohh that’s it, that’s my good girl.” she groaned, your constant whimpering sending vibrations through her clit. Your hot tongue dipped into her, curling into her sweet spot before you were back to kissing it sloppily. Messily licking at everything she had to give. Shoko’s finger’s reached for the rolled piece of paper in her mouth. Letting a ring of fog dissolve in front of her as her head fell back with a moan.

One of her hands on the flat of your chest to steady herself as she rode, moving her hips in circular motions while grinding them back and forth on your tongue. Shoko let out a raspy string of mewls. Reaching to tap her cigarette on her bedside ashtray without halting her movements. You let out a muffled moan when her pussy fluttered against your skin. Your girlfriend drenching your nose and mouth as you swallowed down her sweet taste, clenching your thighs in an attempt to stimulate your aching clit.

“Yeah baby, j-just like that. Ahh— this is where you belong baby.” Her voice went up a pitch, a shaky cry falling off her tongue as her toes curled behind her. “Belong under this pussy o-only. Oh fuck.” She cursed when you latched onto her clit, sucking at the sensitive bud while humming into her. Your eyes closing as your girlfriend used you for her own pleasure.

Shoko’s body trembled as her movements became rougher and sloppier. Desperately pressing her soaked cunt onto any part of your pretty face to give her the stimulation she needed. Her moans increasing in volume as she clenched around nothing, your tongue still moving sensually around her clit.

“Shit baby, that mouth of yours is s-so good. So perfect.” She breathed heavily, taking a final drag at the calming nicotine as her lips parted in pleasure. Your tongue switching between swirling around her clit and curling into her. Her head foggy at the feeling as she moaned loudly. “Shit— ‘m gonna cum for you sweetheart.”

Shoko’s back arched as she let out a cry of your name, more so reminding herself that no one could take you away from her. Squirting messily onto you with the shake of her legs, her eyes rolling back as she ground herself down on your tongue through her high.

Your girlfriend sighed in content as she shivered, finally coming down with heavy breaths. She climbed shakily off you, pressing her lips onto yours to taste herself. Looking down at your messy face as you continued to use your inner thighs to rub at your clit. “All mine,” Shoko smirked, “Looks like it’s my turn to return the favor,” Pulling a desperate whimper from you when her fingers pressed down teasingly onto your clit.

[ayeyolooo]

we cry together

17+ mature content ahead.

part1 part2 part3

The lewd noises that came from yours and onys room could make any porn addict mouth water. The sounds of squelching, to the “mmhm’s~” ony gave you that made your eyes roll to the back of the head could have easily won the heart to any man.

Ony watched as your ass rippled against his pelvis. It Looked mesmerizing, He watched as you took his inches without a problem, your walls takin him up. ‘Nobody’ by party next door was playing as the scene unfolded. “mmhm, what was allat you was saying hm~mama?” ony asked trying not to look at your reflection that was in the mirror infront of your bed. He couldn’t help but catch a glimpse and that sight alone made him whimper. your mouth agape, as some of your lashes missing, sweat forming on your forehead, and mascara smudged. “Ouuuu waiiiitttt shit shitttt~.” you moaned aloud making ony pull your hand behind your back locking it there, and pounding into you rougher. “mmm how that feel baby? good?” he asked whispering in your ear as you took heavy breaths. his voice alone made more fluids flow from you making his slip out. “ slide it back in f’me mama.” ony said letting go of your hand. you sighed before reaching backwards feeling ony. You grabbed him and teased your hole with it making your toes curl. “ouuu babyyy~” you said yelling aloud as your walls engulfed his member. “mmhm, i know baby, know.” he coo’ed as he grabbed your waist being careful of your back dermals and giving you a few more strokes til you reached your hand back feeling on his abs and tapping repeatedly against his stomach. “AHH baby wait wait waiittttt~.” ony shook his head.

“unt unttt, go ahead pretty girl you got it.” ony encouraged you which sent you over your head and onto cloud nine. Your orgasm alone allowed ony to release in you, making you see white and collapsing on the pillow infront of you. out of breath you seen ony plop down next to you. “cmere my love.” he said bringing you close. “never. will. i. ever. cheat. on. you.” ony said pecking your lips between every word. you chuckled and nodded. “okay.” you agreed, having his smile showing off his golden grillz. “now come one and let’s shower okay?” ony suggested as you nodded and wrapped your arms around him.

yallll ion know how to write smut💔. i’m so sorry if it was bad and or poorly written. this is kind of my first time writing something like this on this page. 😭 please forgive me. and this concludes the we cry together series💗

[disneyprincemuke]

you don't get to tell me about sad * fem!driver

outtakes of her year that i didn't know where to fit lol so this is the last(ish) angst installment

pairings: sebastian vettel x fem!driver, max verstappen x fem!driver

notes: iM BACK BABYYY

(series masterlist) | (📂 2025: fall from grace)

(prev)

so she runs from her garage again. just another weekend where everything has skewed from what was discussed and there is no reasoning to be done.

she finished the race damn near last over a pitstop that ran longer than it should have.

the minute sebastian could not spew an excuse she would hear out was the minute she stopped listening to him during the race. and honestly, it was the only way she could salvage not finishing last of the pack.

“let’s talk about it,” sebastian says, hurriedly chasing her down as she storms into the racing home, her presence immediately silencing the chatter in the room. “let me talk you through what happened. it’s not your fault.”

“i know it’s not!” her distress is made known, echoing in the air of the room. she stops in her tracks and turns to face sebastian still by the door, flinching back. “how could that be my fault? i was doing my end of the bargain as a driver!”

he takes a deep breath. “rocky, just listen to me, okay?”

“it’s not fair! none of this weekend was my fault!” she shrieks, turning back around and trudging up the stairs loudly. “the team fucked me over, that’s what happened! i can’t possibly think of a reason you could come up with to excuse what happened!”

“i’m not excusing it, i’m just–”

“oh, god, sebastian!” she stomps her foot on the ground to demand sebastian’s attention. which surprisingly works. “just admit it — the team fucked me over. point blank period, that’s literally what happened.”

sebastian sucks in a deep breath. “yes, we did. and we’re extremely sorry. but–”

“’but’ again,” she laughs dryly, rolling her eyes. she makes a sharp turn for her driver’s room and holds a hand up to stop the step he tries to take towards her. “take your apology to the headlines being drafted about me as we go in circles over this, sebastian.”

“you know i’m not breaking up with you,” matt says amidst the silence that they’ve been sitting in as he packs his bag. “i just need a break.”

“from me,” she points out shakily, dropping her head low.

“from this cycle.” he lifts his head and sits back to look at her.

she sits on the edge of her bed, feet hovering slightly over the floor. she watches her feet swing slightly, counting in her head, desperate not to lose the last remaining sanity she feels she has.

initially, she sat in the vacant room in tears, refusing to watch him pack up to leave her all alone in her apartment. she wallowed in her woes in a dark corner before she eventually dragged herself back into her bedroom.

she’s been sitting here watching him in silence ever since, trying to find the words in her head to say something to him.

maybe he’ll change his mind; maybe he’ll stay if she says the right thing.

“yeah, i get that.”

“i don’t think you do.” he stands from his position on the ground and walks over to her on the bed. he takes the empty spot next to her, resting his hand above hers that grips the mattress tightly. he feels her grip loosen slightly. “i still love you, bub.”

she shakes her head with a sigh. “i would have stopped a long time ago if i were you. i’m not very nice.”

“it doesn’t work like that,” he squeezes her hand, “you’re having a hard time. i get that and it’s okay. but i want you to want the help i’m giving you. i’m not going to force it on you if you’re just going to keep pushing me away when i try.”

“i don’t know why i keep doing that,” she admits with a scoff. she drops her back on the bed behind her and looks up at the ceiling of her bedroom. “i’m not usually like this, i promise. i’m better than this.”

“i know.” matt mirrors her actions and drops himself on the mattress.

she wants to say she’s sorry and that she’s thankful for him sticking around longer than he had to. it’s at the edge of her tongue but she simply cannot get herself to admit that she’s wrong. that perhaps this time, someone is finally right about her.

“do you, really?” she hums, “i’m the worst.”

“i think you should give yourself a little more credit,” he sighs, reaching out for her hand again. this time, she moves her hand away before he can grab it. “i’ll come home soon, okay? i’ll come back for you, i promise.”

she repeats in her head the gameplan she’d drafted with sebastian. the one that seemed so foolproof all weekend that made her believe she could turn it all around.

instead, she’s standing on the grass next to her wrecked car, another unfortunate mishap she’s sure would make her talk of the town again.

she puts her hands on her hips as her eyes trail over to her blown tyre. then she remembers that her crash wasn’t caused all by herself.

“are you alright?” charles asks softly, slowly approaching her as he takes his helmet off. “unlucky weekend.”

she glances over her shoulder where he approaches her. she forces a small grin to her face and tries to wave his concerns away. “i’m fine.”

her chest starts to hurt slightly, tears prickling at her eyes.

this is not the time and place to be breaking down. especially not at someone like charles because surely, something went wrong with her that caused this.

“it’s my fau–”

surely, it can’t be his fault. there’s no way that the person she’s looked up could cause this crash.

but there’s also a voice in her head telling her to believe charles. he wouldn’t be apologising if he didn’t actually think that he caused it.

“unfortunate,” she chuckles. she swallows the scream threatening to make itself known and shrugs at charles. “i’ll see you in the paddocks, mate.”

“thought i might find you here.”

“fuck off, max.”

the older driver laughs, walking over to her with hands in the pocket of his jeans. he drops himself on the little platform she’s resting on.

“everyone’s looking for you,” max chuckles, innocently taking a sip from his water bottle. “i heard seb panicking and sending out a search party to get you.”

“i know,” she snorts, “i heard him screaming and delegating people to find me.”

the only reason max knew where to find her is because he is the one who introduced her to this place. he had found her holding her tears in at some point last season walking around the paddocks and he whisked her away without another word.

it’s a pretty obscure location in the paddocks, one that max often resided in when it got too chaotic and loud. she’s the only one he’s ever given this sort of information to.

“how’s everything?” he asks with a sigh, leaning back on the wall behind them. “matt flew back to the states already?”

she nods and drops her head, picking at the grass beneath them. while she truly tried to keep her problems to herself, max approached her a week prior when he saw her entering the paddocks all by herself.

he had asked why the man, typically found on her arm every race weekend, was not with her today.

she softly admitted that they’re on a break, prompted by her reactionary behaviour from how her year is going so far. still, she tries to keep the confession minimal.

it’s hard enough to watch your boyfriend pack his things in silence to leave you behind. it’s even harder to admit that there’s nobody else to blame but yourself.

her mishaps every weekend on the paddocks, she can point all the fingers she wants. but when it came to her matt, there was nobody else she could pin it on. there were 2 people in that relationship and she knows that she’s the one that’s burned it down.

“i’m so sorry,” max sighs, resting his cheek in his hand. he props his elbow on his knee as she leans forward. “that must be really hard for you.”

she shrugs. it’s really not that big of a deal. or, at least, it shouldn’t be to somebody else in a happy relationship of his own. “it’s my fault, anyway. i don’t blame him.”

“you can still be upset about it,” he mutters. “i know you love him, so i don’t imagine any of this is making you feel better at all.” he puts a hand on her back and rubs circles, something he honestly wishes someone had done for him when he was younger. “it’s just me, mate.”

“it’s alright, but thanks for trying to be there for me,” she grimaces, turning momentarily to give him a small smile. “but i don’t reckon i get to feel bad for deliberately pushing him over the edge.”

she’d been fine all day. she thought she was genuinely getting better: she’d even gone for a walk in the sun and felt enlightened most of the hours she’d been awake.

that was until she had sat down at her dining table with dinner, consumed whole by the silence and emptiness of her apartment. without understanding why, she lost her appetite as her stomach started to churn.

her heart feels like it’s skipping beats from how unwell she suddenly felt.

she finds herself on the floor of her bedroom, phone pressed up against her ear as the ringing pulls her in and out of her trance.

her world has spinning for the better part of 5 minutes, her chest feeling like it’s closing in on itself and the framed picture in her peripheral vision taunts her.

there’s no climbing out of this rut; she’s almost sure she will be stuck in here forever. she either lives with the fact that she’s a failure or it’ll someday kill her.

“hello? is this really you?”

tears she hadn’t realised were there start to fall out of her eyes. the sob she didn’t know she had in her throat fills the room as she drops her head into her other hand.

“i don’t know why i called,” she pauses with a soft sob, “sorry, i should go.”

“no,” a firm voice demands, “just stay on the line.”

“okay.”

she had just spoken with matt this morning, on a short 5-minute welfare check video call. she told him she was feeling slightly better with the biggest smile on her face.

now she doubts herself if she’d even meant it. if she was truly better, she wouldn’t be here on the floor feeling worse than when she woke up this morning.

going backwards isn’t supposed to be the way she’s going.

it’s always forward. if there’s no progress towards the betterment of her situation, then she’s simply not trying hard enough.

she should try harder. it’s the only way.

“hey,” matt coos softly to catch her attention. “if you need me there, just say the word. i’ll come home.”

she wants to say yes. she even wants to break into a louder sob and admit that she misses him; probably might even be going crazy without his presence as of late.

she hasn’t got anything figured out.

but instead, she says, “i’ll be okay.”

being alone in her hotel room is the last thing she wanted for herself, the silence too overbearing for her to handle. though asking to hang out with her friends she watched leave together to get dinner wasn’t an option either.

so she opted to lock herself in her driver’s room until someone chases her out. perhaps she’ll sleep over without anybody finding out.

she’d coddled herself up in her beanbag under a blanket, reading away furiously on the things people said about her.

sure, she shouldn’t be on these sites speaking ill of her, but there’s nobody to stop her. she’s fallen down the rabbit hole of everyone’s opinions of her once more and she can’t seem to stop.

she’s stooped even lower this time: she’s on social media reading what the public has to say about her.

it’s not just about whoever in the industry is saying now.

she never tried to let anyone’s opinion of her, in forms of tweets and social media posts, get to her much.

but a post highlighting about the two mere instances where she had unintentionally lashed out on matt in the paddocks did it for her. and the one time she had a disagreement with sebastian in her racing home after a pitstop mishap.

“for fuck’s sake,” she cries, throwing the blanket off her.

she can’t throw her ipad. she starts to heave, feeling it all coming down on her once more.

she grabs the closest thing to her. and unfortunately, it’s the very mug she’d gotten 2 years ago as a present for sebastian.

you know, the matching mugs she got as a celebration for scoring points as a race engineer and driver duo on the grid.

and it does what a mug would do if you threw it against the wall: it shatters. into pieces.

it’s repairable if she really thought about it rationally. the handle has popped out along with another large piece straying by its side.

only then she realises what she’s done.

“oh, fuck.” she sits hurriedly and brushes the stray hairs from her face. “oh, no.”

she scrambles from the ground and runs over to the other side of the room where her favourite mug sits in 3 separate pieces, tears prickling at her eyes as she realises what she’s done.

she gathers it into her hands with a heavy cry, dropping her hands into her lap. if she’d known sooner that this mug was what she’d grabbed out of fury, she wouldn’t have chucked it across the room.

“come on,” she whispers to herself, trying to fit the pieces together as if it would magically mend itself. “fix yourself. be a mug again?”

“i thought you were back at the hotel– are you okay?”

“i didn’t mean to do it,” she cries at the familiar voice and accent, lifting her head and hands to show him what she’s done. “i didn’t mean to, i didn’t even realise what i was throwing until it broke into this many pieces.”

“hey,” sebastian coos, softly closing the door behind him. he walks over to where she kneels on the ground and grabs her shoulder. “you’re okay. it’s okay.”

she shakes her head profusely and rests her head on his shoulder. “i didn’t mean it. i didn’t want to break it — i still like you, i promise. you’re like my dad when we’re on the road. i’m s– i didn’t mean it.”

“relax.” he squeezes her shoulder, pressing a firm kiss to her temple. “it’s just a mug. we’ll just get a new one, okay? don’t even worry about it.”

he waits for a second as she processes his words, slightly hesitant to agree with him. she nods slowly, “are you sure? you’re not mad?”

“i’m not mad,” sebastian hums with a smile. “let’s get you back to your hotel room, okay? i was just about to head out.”

“okay.”

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