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retracing-my-steps-again · 2 months ago

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Spider-Man: Expiation (Ch. 1 Notes)

My rant, personal notes, and story notes for chapter one of my Spider-Man MHA fusion fic (Izuku as Spider-Man).

Spoilers for Ch. 1 below

First a quick rant:

I'm not yet satisfied with the editing of this fic nor have I finished writing it all the way but you know what? I need some will to live and if I post this it means I can't die until I've posted the whole fic ! Jk but fr life is looking dismal these days so I need something else to focus on. And if I try to be a super perfectionist like usual about this fic and don't start posting it there's a chance it'll live in my computer forever, never to be perceived by a single other soul. A part of me is fine with that but the other part of me thinks I've spent hundreds of hours on this and some people might enjoy it.

I need to stop holding myself to such a ridiculous standard this is a my hero academia fanfic and I don't even get paid for this shit -_- I can't spend all my time forever writing it as much as I would like to.

Author Notes:

Like I said in the end notes on the chapter itself, I know the Spider-Man Izuku phase of the internet is long over. I still see posts about it from time to time though so I suspect some people will still want to read this. In my defense, I’ve been writing this fic since that phase of the internet when it was popular. So… I’ve been writing this fic for literal years now.

I’m a huge fan of in medias res, so I would’ve rather kicked off the beginning in a much more interesting way, but I actually think it worked better to start at the beginning for this fic. So hopefully all the setup isn’t unbearable. I’m sorry there’s so much exposition/recap of the canon universe. I wanted to include it in case people haven’t watched the show or read the manga in a while and still wanted to have context without getting confused. I also wanted to provide a bit of my character analysis so you can get an idea of how I'll be writing this fic. There's a bit more character analysis in Ch. 2 as well.

Also it’s very funny to me how much of MHA has Star Wars references. There’s so many goddamn Star Wars references. So many locations are borrowed from Star Wars. Even the entrance exam robot names are named after star destroyers (which I don't include in this fic because it's not really relevant).

I still have no idea what to do about suffixes, so it may just remain a mess. I can’t really get rid of them completely (or rather translate them to the best of my ability). Mainly because “Kacchan” is a nickname utilizing a Japanese suffix and many of the characters refer to each other by family name, so sometimes the suffix is an important distinction. But like with doctor ? I just used Dr. so it really is just a mess. I still don’t know what to do about it but hopefully it's not too off-putting and inconsistent.

Chapter 1 Story Notes:

Funny story, the first chapter used to just be called "Origins" and it ended with Izuku getting bit by a radioactive spider and now it's been split up a whole lot ! It used to be very generalized and kinda boring though so I don't feel bad about it lol

This story involves a major divergence from canon (obviously) right at the beginning.

In canon, Izuku only decides to stop going after his dream of being a hero when he hears it from All Might himself. Of course, he still runs in to save Katsuki immediately after this but still. Up until this point, he wasn't letting anyone else deter him from trying to be a hero. Then, of course, he's chosen to be All Might's successor.

So, in this fic there's none of that. Izuku hasn't met All Might at this point (outside of the sludge villain incident, where in this he doesn't have a chance to talk to him at all because Katsuki is attacked first). He still wants to try and go to UA and become a Hero but doesn't really physically train or get a Quirk obviously.

I feel like Izuku running in to save Katsuki is an important part of the canon story that I wanted to be a part of this fic. So in this fic, even though Katsuki is attacked first, Izuku still has to run in to save him before All Might shows up. (I'm pretty sure I actually talk about this at some point later during the fic but it's not a spoiler to say it now as it technically already happened and isn't super important to this story. It's more that removing it entirely felt like too much of a divergence that I didn't want to deal with.)

Honestly, I've spent many hours stressing about keeping the characters as accurate as possible to canon, but it's sometimes difficult because this fic is so different from canon. There are a lot of parallels to canon though so hopefully that's enough to keep people from feeling too thrown off. I feel like I have a good understanding of the characters in canon (largely referring to Izuku and Katsuki) so I really do my best to keep them in character even with such a different story.

I thought I might as well also add in some of my scribblings somewhere in case anyone would find it interesting or helpful. Below were my first notes on Izuku's injury. I needed to plan it out and ensure I could keep consistent with stuff. Also for the sake of my own visualization. Not all of it is relevant to the fic and is just me thinking through things medically.

Also because this is obviously not in our universe and they have accelerated healing and stuff, I had to try and visualize what that could mean for long term healing and everything.

TW: semi-graphic descriptions of injury/injury recovery (no graphic images so basically just don't read below if you don't want to)

Disclaimer: obviously don't take any of this as medical advice. These are my personal notes for the sake of visualization. They're very generalized and were largely off the top of my head.

#my hero academia #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #mha #bnha #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #spiderman #izuku midoriya

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bunniibones · 2 years ago

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Hey Starly/Bunniibones i’d like to ask, how come we don’t see much/any content about Cipher anymore?.

Maybe I missed a few posts where they were featured (i’m a bit out of the loop) but I notice I don’t see them as often as I used to.

You don’t have to answer this if you feel uncomfortable or have answered this question already (again, i’m a bit out of the loop), I was just a bit curious.

Hi!! it's nothing bad tbh xD

Maybe you don't know this bcus I've been rather "consistent" in the Sonic fandom, but truth to be told I'm not a consistent person; I'm always changing, my interest change all the time, I get bored of things and get fixated on others and so on, which is why I tend to fandom jump so frequently, try different aesthetics, different styles, different things in general, etc.

So, even if I've been in the Sonic fandom for almost 4 years now (an actual record for me!) I still have been inconsistent.

At first, the OC that I gave full attention was Aqua, my blue hedgehog that is a chaos descendant. Then it was Cyani, my pink cobra who works for the Eggman Empire. Then was Cipher. Then was Byte, my goat who works for Starline, and now I'm hyperfixated on Chamber and Wrench, making drawings and fanfics of them :3c

So it's not that something bad happened with Cipher, it's just that I lost the interest on making content of them, we could say I lost the inspiration I had to create content of them.

Sadly, the same is starting to happen to Byte, so I've been slowly stopping using them as often as I used to, putting my attention on Chamber and Wrench.

Eventually, the same will happen to Chamber and Wrench too and I'll focus on another oc that I have at the time, and so on until I get hyperfixated with another fandom. It's... kinda sad tbh, especially since I've seen how there are people in the fandom who has had their main oc as main oc for years (even decades, wow!) and here I am, changing main oc every now and then ;w;... but sadly that's how it is, I'm a person who's constantly changing, I suppose it's bcus of my sign (?) (I'm Gemini!) so who knows kjahdskja

I'm sorry tho, Cipher was very fun to draw and create content for, but sadly I lost my inspiration for them. Maybe in the future that inspiration will return, but for now, I'll be making content of the ones I'm currently using ;v;

#starly answers

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aparticularbandit · 2 years ago

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State of Bandit Fic

Because it has been over a year and a half since i did a proper one of these, and a lot of things have changed, and I want to do one.

Basically.

Under a cut because when we get extensive on these things, it gets really long. Obviously.

First off, I have been trying to transition to writing profic, which is why I had less fanfic posts in the first little bit of this year. Obviously, if you’ve been seeing my updates, you’ll notice I’ve done a longer fanfic recently - primarily involving Wanda Maximoff and America Chavez, although the Wanda/Agatha fics are pulling me back to my more recent shipping trends.

Y’all, I miss writing shipping fics and playing around with those dynamics, and it’s fun to find a new ship to write for. So y’all might be getting more Wanda/Agatha stuff (probably with Wanda/Vision stuff because when I deal with canon, I want to at least address Vision, you know).

So - looking at how I used to format these - I would, what, plans for the rest of the year and then tentatively look at plans for next year?

Y’all, I’m not that organized right now, and that may be because I stopped doing Monday updates and started just posting chapters when they’re done (which also means I’ve mostly stopped beta-ing and stopped second writes).

But I think, in terms of things I’m planning for the rest of the year, it would be something like this:

Finish Finding Family.

This is first and foremost in terms of fanfic fare. I’m in the last part. There’s still a good chunk left. I know I’ve been taking a break for Harximoff stuff, but like. I think I’m ready to get back into it now.

(This is typical for me. When I’m closed to finishing stuff, I take a break, and then do a big push. This is normal; I’m not particularly worried about this going unfinished.)

Post Love Is Not A Victory March, AKA Roisa Soulmate Timer AU #4.

This means finishing my reread of Halfway There, which is where I’m stalled.

This also means doing a second-write for consistency (because I know there’s some inconsistencies between it and Halfway There, which is why I haven’t posted it yet).

The rough has been done since early 2021. I’m just...stalled.

Post Noir fic.

This is a very tentative plan.

I need to finish going through Noir again first.

This desperately needs some editing and revision.

This fic is almost a decade old, so it needs A LOT of editing and revision.

And one of the chapters is super cringe and Bandit did NOT do the research and does not want to do the research.

But I want to post it, I’ve wanted to post it for ten years, I should maybe finally get around to doing that.

No, there are no plans for Roisa Secret Santa this year, just like there hasn’t been and are no plans for Roisa Fic Week this year.

Sorry. I’m just. Not there anymore. And honestly...I think most of us aren’t there anymore. But I’ll still take prompts for them! And, I mean, obviously soulmate timer #4 is up there, so that’s...that’s something, at least.

But those are the three things I’d like to do by the end of the year. Probably in that order. Yep.

I do not have anything specific planned for next year and am probably going to be rolling with whatever I’m interested in doing. Woo!

So - now to the itemized stuff in terms of unfinished projects and stuff I’ve talked about but hadn’t posted and, new category, potential ideas for the future, which is different from stuff I’ve talked about but hadn’t posted in that it’s. new stuff (and the former also includes stuff I definitely wrote and haven’t posted, not just stuff I was brainstorming and then forgot about).

If you’re here for Harximoff or just general Wanda or Agatha stuff, you want the last category, feel free to skip the other two. ^^

Unfinished Projects:

In order of oldest to newest:

Pokemon: Blizzard and Pokemon: Hurricane

These have been abandoned. Sorry.

Like. I still know roughly what was going to happen in Blizzard and the follow-up Thunder Snow or...whatever the third one in this trilogy was going to be, but I didn’t have a super concrete idea what was going to happen in Hurricane (I had vague ideas and concepts of some very concrete things but not an overarching story like I did with Blizzard). It’s not that I’m not interested. I just don’t feel like writing it right now, and I don’t know that I will in the future.

Sleeping Habits

This has been abandoned.

I don’t even know what the second chapter of this was going to be anymore. Like. I have a vague idea, and I know this was supposed to have one more chapter, but ???

The Adventures of Rose, the Baker’s Daughter

Also abandoned. A lot of these are going to be like that. Sorry.

Sin Rostro

I’m not sure. I like the idea of this one, but I don’t know if I’ll finish writing it or return to it, and I remember distinctly having the feeling that this particular AU was a bit out of my range to begin with - not because it’s super dark but because it relies a lot on sex, and while I could write a lot of fade to black, this one’s a little more racy than I really want to write right now. So. IDK.

Tentatively abandoned, but this is one I could see going back to.

Aftershocks

This has been abandoned.

Emilia Antonia

I shot myself in the foot when I decided to do a love triangle, and I don’t like it, and I don’t want to write it anymore because of that, which sucks because I still really like the idea of this fic. ://

Heart in Motion

Also abandoned.

Geronimo

Also abandoned.

A Handful of Dust

YEAH NO. Interesting idea, don’t want the follow-through.

Days that Bleed

Also abandoned, but only because I started doing something else with the concept.

Something else that has also been tentatively abandoned.

Jane: The Real Story

This crack has also. been abandoned.

If You Lived Here, You’d Be Home Now

I like the idea of going back to this one. I’d like to go back to this one. I still remember some ideas of where this was headed, but not all of them - the last time I did a read-through of this, I’d already forgotten where some of these plot lines were supposed to go - but I remember roughly what happens next and where it’s going and where it ends.

But.

This halfway point is also a good stopping point. Rose and Lu are out of the mental hospital, and they’re happy. Of course, they escaped the mental hospital instead of getting better, but. They’re happy for now.

I don’t want to say this is entirely abandoned, although it’s likely. Of my Roisa fic, this is the one that it’s most likely for me to go back and want to finish it.

Meeting at Sunset

Belle, I was going to implement some of your ideas, and now I’m just abandoning it, and I’m sorry about that.

Siren’s Call

Also abandoned, although I’ve considered taking some of this for something else.

Guns and Spurs

I also still remember the basic shape of this one. I just don’t know that I’ll actually get around to writing it. Also I feel like I would want to see Deputy again first, and I don’t own Deputy (yet?) so. If I go back to it, it’ll be a while.

Mostly I want to get back to renegade Rose, honestly.

What Dreams May Come

I WANT. TO GET BACK. TO THIS.

Do you know how much I miss writing in second person?

I was actually getting back into this, and then everything with Iami happened, and I didn’t want to write it anymore because of life circumstances, but I want to go back to this one, so like. I’m not going to say it’s abandoned because I want to go back to it eventually, it’s just.

IDK Y’ALL.

Falling

I remember the basic shape of what this was tentatively meant to be, but I don’t want to write it anymore. I, like, kind of do, but not enough to actually get to writing it. So consider this abandoned.

Gotham University

Yeah, even when I started this one, I didn’t think I would necessarily keep it going. Sorry. Also abandoned.

Time Ticking Like A Bomb Embedded In Her Wrist

I don’t want to do the Agent Carter viewing necessary to go back to this. But I still like the tentative idea of it. Abandoned until further notice (but MCU soulmate timer au ideas have been...flying. See below? Maybe).

On Myths and Hide Outs

I was originally just writing this one for me and then I posted some of the chapters but not all of them so I still have some chapters written but I was writing this one for me and not for y’all and I’m probably not going to post the rest of what I’ve got written, and IDK if I’ll even go back to writing more. Sorry, not sorry.

I do miss Regina, though. Hm.

Fragments of Color

Hey, look, one I’m still planning on finishing!

It’s taking a backseat to Finding Family, but, like, I’m still semi-excited for this one?

Excited might be a bit of a stretch.

This one doesn’t stick as close to canon as Kisses Through The Decades did, so. I’m a little more open on the Harximoff stuff here. Which I like! So! There’s that!

Still tentatively planning on a kiss every chapter, but I don’t know if I can sustain that, considering where this fic would be going.

Finding Family

Said it above, saying it again, I’m in part five, I’m planning on going back to this, I just took a break, time to crack down and finish the thing, etc.

Unfinished Series:

The Time of Your Life

AKA Roisa Soulmate Timer AU

4/5 parts done.

Fic Four still needs to be edited, as I said before.

IDK if I’ll actually write Fic Five, but we’ll see.

Where The Lightning Splits The Sea

AKA Roisa HP AU

I think I got about 50k or something into the second book and then decided to abandon it. I don’t think a lot of y’all were really reading this, and I just...it’s a lot. It’s a lot. I have five more books after this one planned, and it’s just, it’s a lot. So I’m not.

If y’all want me to post the brainstorming for those seven books, I can! I have notes on what goes in which book and what set-up is required and the tentative titles and everything. PAGES of notes. So, just, if any of y’all want this, let me know, and I can post the outline, I think.

Partly Written and Unposted/Stuff I Talked About but Haven’t Done:

Mexican Stud

AKA Rosalint fic

Yeah, I’m not posting this. I’m probably not going to go back to writing this. For a lot of reasons, even though I figured out how to get around the thing I was struggling with. BUT this was the first book in Epic Superhero Crossover, which, speaking of--

Epic Superhero Crossover

This is too big, y’all.

It is too big and unwieldy and I don’t want to...I want to write it, but it is so massive and so big and I just. I don’t want to. Sorry. I still have a lot of thoughts about it and how things went, and I’m still super into DottieLint as a result of this, but like.... Probably not going to be a thing that actually gets actualized and posted, despite all of the different stuff I have written for this.

Like - I have chunks of at least three - four - different fics for this series started. And I had...seven? or more? projected? Kind of like the Roisa HP au, but a little more vignette and sprawling and just I don’t.

Everything’s Coming Up Roses

Abandoned but potentially turning into something else.

Luisa and the Child

AKA Luisa and the Fox sequel

Abandoned. Sorry. Mostly I just wanted the freckles scene and extra mythology re: Susanna and Rose’s mom. But I don’t actually want to write this right now. So. Sorry!

Various Roisa Soulmate AUs

Potentially turning into something else.

Also I don’t remember what chorus: romance says goodnight even was at this point. I do remember dreamers often lie, but. potentially turning this one into something else.

Timeless/Noir fic

I forgot about this until I saw it one of the other updates, and I know I started it, and I like the idea of it, but IDK if I’ll get back to it. Sorry.

Also would probably want to finish seeing Timeless again first, but. Meh. Probably not.

JTV rewrite ALA Jane doesn’t get inseminated but Petra does

I also forgot about this until I looked at the last update but I’m still tentatively interested in writing this.

We’ll see.

Dani/Jamie highschool/college au?

Apparently I mentioned this?

I’m not writing this one, y’all. Sorry.

Potential Ideas for the Future:

Wanda/Bedelia Fic

AKA WandaVision rewrite #3 (wherein Kisses Through The Decades and Fragments of Color are #1 and #2, respectively)

Tentatively titled Phantom Limb, or What It Means to Kneel

I still want to write this.

I don’t know how high this is on my want to write list.

But I want to write it.

I miss Bedeals SO much and would LOVE to see her interact with Wanda in a therapeutic sense. (And also give Agatha therapy, my girl needs some therapy, everybody in that show needs therapy.)

SO. THOUGHTS. WE’LL SEE.

Baby Agatha Series

Tentatively titled A Sea Psalm for a Penitent Soul

Other fics in the series have tentative titles, but I will not be going into that here.

I’ve posted about this a lot, and this is my new dark series brainstorming bunny.

I really want to write this, too, but, like Wanda/Bedelia fic, I’m postponing it until after Finding Family.

Yes, this would be a series, despite my initial plans for this to be a single fic.

I know the first two main fics and the opening prologue one-shot-ish thing (which, knowing me, would not stay as a one-shot, but it’s planned as a one-shot).

I also know the tentative beginnings of the third fic and roughly the last couple of fics. It’s the middle I’m unsure of.

Also the other one-shots. OH WELL.

Various Harximoff Soulmate AUs

I have a weakness for soulmate AUs, y’all. I just. do.

Soulmate Timer AU has come up (and it took a bit of thought BUT I think it can be a thing)

The downside to this is that it would be yet another WandaVision rewrite, and as much as I love rewriting WandaVision and exploring that realm...this would be #4, and IDK if I want to do that many right after each other.

Can Only Be Killed By Your Soulmate AU has come up (this would probably be a short angsty one-shot)

Don’t Age Until You Meet Your Soulmate AU has come up (Agatha quietly panicking in the background while Wanda and Vision deal with their shit has so much potential for hilarity, y’all, but IDK if I actually want to write this as much as I enjoy the concept)

I may look into others - the plans for Dreamers Never Lie, like, the world-building I could potentially use for a Harximoff AU, but I don’t think those lend themselves well to Wanda and Agatha in particular (and definitely don’t to Vis, although one of them would have an interesting angle...hm).

Finding Family spin-off(s)

Wendy could have gone so many different places, y’all, and I kind of want to look into those multiversal variants.

I definitely plan to post deleted/expanded/alternate scenes. (I have at least two for this, and I might have more. I’m not sure yet.)

I don’t know if I’ll do a direct sequel - originally Wanda dealing with Agatha was going to be a sequel, but thematically it fit better where it is - but there’s always the possibility for that, I guess. I just don’t know if I have any direct sequel ideas.

Unless I did more Harximoff here, but IDK if I want that, really. These two are more QPPs than GFs.

We’ll see.

I have talked a bit about a potential Harximoff High School AU, but I fear my characterization of Agatha would make this too close to Carrie, so. Probably not actually going to do this (although I may do something else with the general idea).

BUT YEAH, THAT’S IT.

TL; DR - I’m only really interested in finishing If You Lived Here, You’d Be Home Now and What Dreams May Come other than, of course, the ones mentioned above, and I have a lot of Harximoff and WandaVision rewrite ideas. We’ll see what happens with those!

#musings #bandit does an update

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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Holy cow I recommend not listening to the RWBY commentaries. I did it as I was starting a large-scale fanfic project to see if there was any worldbuilding details they would mention and there's not a lot, but it did make it transparently obvious how little planning for payoff is done: in Volume 1 they say "keep an eye on cardin winchester in the future" as if his only appearances after that aren't getting beaten up by Pyrrha, showing up in a crowd in v3, and then just VANISHING FOREVER

Side comment: whenever I hear people talking nonsense about how no one would do anything ever if given the opportunity (like, for example, in conversations about universal basic income), I think of casual statements like yours. I just started watching large amounts of supplementary material for an idea or two in an equally large project that I will then gift to the world for free! Absolutely awesome, you funky little writer.

Anyway, back to the actual topic lol. Sometimes (not always, but sometimes) I’m frustrated less with the problems in RWBY and more with how those problems are presented by both the writers and the fandom. Lots of stories drop ideas or characters depending on what the story needs moving forward. Sometimes the reason is fairly obvious to the audience (such as in Glynda’s case), other times not, but if the writers were to simply acknowledge that their focus changed... that’s okay. Audiences, on the whole, are more forgiving than certain corners of the internet might make one assume! But RT, from what I’ve personally observed, works very hard to present their story as this nearly flawless, carefully thought out piece. Rarely do we hear, “Oh yeah, we just forgot that detail, sorry” or “We’re not sure yet if Cardin will stick around, but we’re looking forward to finding out.” Everything has an explanation — even if it doesn’t make sense. Everything is intentional and neatly planned — even when it’s not. When problems in the story are acknowledged it’s because the animators did something, or the social media team did something. It’s definitely not because those creators are working off information the writers have provided about the characters and their world. The construction of the story itself is never at fault, only others’ interpretation of it.

Similarly, many in the fandom push this idealized image of the writers as perfect masters of their craft who are incapable of messing up. If something seems badly written now, it’s only because we’re still waiting for payoff (and that wait is always extended up until RWBY ends. Even then, I suspect that many will begin insisting that RT deliberately saved material for the next book, next comic, an upcoming podcast, etc. The fact that they may have dropped an important plot thread is not a possibility). If something still doesn’t make sense, it’s because you’re too stupid to understand it. The narrative of the genius RT combined with RT’s own confidence makes for a series that’s much harder to enjoy. I was more forgiving of RWBY back in the early Volumes partly because the story and the company were presented as just having a fun, silly time. Which isn’t to say we can’t/shouldn’t still criticize that approach when the story is trying to tackle something like racism, but it’s still a far cry from what we’re dealing with now. Now, RT is no longer a tiny, independent company doing their best with few resources. Now, they make big claims about their planning and the expected quality of their work. Now, we’ve got a fandom pushing the idea that there’s deep, intricate meaning behind every choice. So when on both sides people are encouraging the audience to treat this show seriously... people will treat the show seriously. And the show comes out wanting. The writers and fandom cannot tell us that there are plans for these characters, that there’s meaning behind every detail... and then not weather the pushback when those things turn out to be false. On the flipside, you can’t continue to make those claims and then when someone criticizes the show’s execution, argue that we’re taking it too seriously. RWBY is a well thought out, deeply moving, innovative, progressive, intensely complex show... provided you ignore the endless inconsistencies, offensive content, and unclear messages. RWBY, in reality, is an incredibly flawed show, to the point where it would benefit massively by the writers not taking it too seriously, thus encouraging the fandom to do the same. It’s just wild fantasy kids fighting monsters! But they introduced incredibly sensitive subject matter, constantly talk up their work, and the community has spent years building this narrative of the epic, stunningly crafted story, to the point where people are outright attacked for saying, “Hey, I think they messed up here.” You can’t have all that and push back with, “It’s just a fantasy show, get a life and stop taking it so seriously!”

I mean, Oscar and Cardin are the examples we’ve been discussing... but post-Volume 8 my mind keeps coming back to Penny. They gave us a character who functioned as a queer/neurodivergent/trans allegory, building off of a long history of that work in science fiction, only to erase her difference and then kill her off for a second time. She had an incredibly close relationship with the main protagonist in a show that is still in desperate need of queer rep. She was murdered the first time and died via an assisted suicide the second time around. Throughout all this, her themes were personal agency, others controlling her, criticism of military personnel, and the general concept of what it means to “really” be human. That’s a lot... and it’s a lot to mess up too. Forgetting about the generic, archetypal bully is fine. Messing up a main character to the extent that it hurts the title character too is a problem. But situations like Penny’s are on another level altogether. RWBY is far past the point of being a tiny indie show doing simple, silly things for the cool visuals. They had a contentious character slit the throat of a minority allegory begging to die so she can, supposedly, control one thing in her life. That’s not “rule of cool” content you just shrug and laugh off. RT wants us to take their content seriously. The fandom, when it suits them, wants us to take the content seriously. The flipside to this desire is that when people take your work seriously... they may come to the conclusion that it was poorly done.

#suicide tw #rwby #rwde #mymetas #superzerokarasu

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ghosthan · 4 years ago

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what would you say are the differences between 616 Tony and MCU Tony? 🤔

Hi anon! Many people have talked about this and I'm certainly not the authority on the topic, but I’ll try my best to explain some of the major differences that I have noticed! Thank you for asking and I’m sorry it took me so long to answer you.

Important to note: neither version of Tony has had a totally consistent characterization. Depending on who you ask and which comics/movies they've consumed, they might give you a different answer here and not be wrong.

616 Tony is even harder to put into one box because his character has been around since Tales of Suspense in the 1950s. That’s a long time. Things have changed over time, under different writers, changing political atmospheres, and outside pop culture influence (including influence from the MCU, unfortunately, in recent years.) You get the picture. So I’ll be making some generalizations and try to be clear about which eras I’m speaking when I make these comparisons, but ultimately, if someone wanted to be contrarian, you could probably refute a lot of what I say here if you cherry pick canon. Which is fair enough! That’s sort of the fun of comics, there’s so much to choose from and something for everyone.

So here are some observations from me, under the ‘read more’.

1. Physical Appearance

This is sort of an easy one, but worth mentioning!

MCU Tony does not look like 616 Tony. RDJ is great, but he would not be most 616 fans’ casting choice on looks alone. MCU Tony is tan, a Malibu man, with brown hair and brown eyes, and RDJ has sort of round facial features (a funny sloped nose, big, round eyes, round forehead, not a particularly sharp or classically “superhero masculine” face.) As you may know, this lends well to certain fanworks and tropes, such as Tony having Bambi eyes.

Or Tiny Tony. He is not actually canonically small, but he's smaller in the MCU than in 616 and from what I can tell, a portion of fandom has latched onto that. He’s a grown man, but RDJ is pretty short, and of slighter build than 616 Tony. RDJ is 5′9, but they make him act in heels, and I believe his canon MCU height is 5′11. Another popular trope I’ve seen is shrinking Tony in fanfic/fanart for a dramatized height difference with Steve, making him weak or fragile; this is fine because everyone has their own taste, but for the official record, he’s a capable, strong guy! Especially in earlier stages of the MCU, in which he’s a bit younger. Tony isn’t just a brain; he carries out his plans with his own two hands! He builds his armor, he remodels his lab, he survives hand to hand combat when he doesn’t have the armor. Muscles!

616 Tony is 6′1 without armor and 6′6 in armor (making him taller than his 616 Steve counterpart in armor and very close to the same height out of armor!) 616 Tony is generally paler with black hair (sometimes the classic blue-black I love so much) and blue eyes, and it obviously depends on the artist, but he has a pretty typically ‘masculine’ face and build. Generally he is drawn with a squared jaw and a high bridged nose (such as in the Extremis storyline, or drawn by Marquez), but again, this varies from artist to artist! Here's some examples of 616 Tonys.

Wait, you might be saying, but I have seen comic panels where Tony has brown hair/brown eyes!

Yep. Due to a combination of forgetfulness, inconsistency, and the MCU bleeding into the general consciousness of the comics, sometimes Tony is randomly depicted in the image of RDJ, or if not in his image, at least visually inspired by the MCU-- hair color and style, eye color, dialogue, etc.

616 fans don’t typically love this; he’s very handsome when drawn this way, of course, (look at him!) But it isn’t really the same character.

Also, MCU Tony has (at least for some of his movies) a reactor built into his chest. While 616 Tony has, at times, been more or less physically connected/dependent to his tech, he doesn’t have the built in reactor (most generally speaking, there are times in comics when he temporarily has the tech built in, but this isn’t really the status quo.)

2. Relationship with parents/ family history

While it is definitely implied in the MCU that Howard was not a good father to Tony, (such as in Iron Man 2 when Tony says “You're talking about a man whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school” and “He was cold, calculating, never told me he loved me, never even told me he liked me”), Tony has a different sort of attitude toward Howard in MCU than in 616. It’s kind of weird, and hard to discuss. To me, it seems implied that MCU Howard was emotionally abusive to Tony based on what Tony does say about his childhood, and yet, the films kind of randomly give Howard weird moments of “Well, he tried his best and deep down he loved me the whole time!” forgiveness. MCU has a Howard kink and I'm very cringe-face emoji about it.

For example, Iron Man 2 shows that old film reel of Howard talking about how Tony is the greatest thing he ever created, and in Endgame, when Tony goes back in time, he meets Howard and has a very weird interaction with him in which Howard declares he would do anything for his son, (to his deeply damaged son who is a new father himself.) Yet, for all his talk, it's his actions that speak, and his actions left Tony damaged, traumatized, and emotionally inept at forming healthy relationships. So.

Sorry. I’m a little bitter. I'm just uncomfortable with how they sort of set up an abuse history but then treated it kind of lightly and Howard gets off the hook as "well, he tried his best" without really acknowledging the hurt he caused.

Avengers: Endgame 2019

I won't go super in depth into the abuse stuff because it's a little touchy and could take up a lot of this post. But.

I’m not against any reconciliation and I do appreciate the fact that a lot of times, victims of abuse feel a desire to forgive and reconnect with their abuser-- my issue with the MCU depiction of Tony and Howard is that Tony never really gets the vindication of his abuse being recognized for what it was before he forgives Howard. To me, that’s not forgiveness as kind of... gaslighting himself that it wasn't as bad as he remembered his own experience being, because of a sense of nostalgia and grief. It’s not the same, and I have issues with it.

However, a lot of my opinion is based on subtext and it is just my opinion; with depictions of abuse, different people are going to react differently, and other people may have found these scenes touching and gotten something positive out of them, and that's totally fine too!

It’s also a bit difficult to talk about Tony’s relationship with Howard in 616, for a few reasons: shifting timelines, lots of canon that I have not read all of, and the fact that it really is difficult to sum up such a complicated relationship.

Right off the bat, I’ll address the basics. I used the same scene in another ask, and I think it's frequently cited in any meta regarding Howard, but in Iron Man Vol. 1, we see more into Tony’s childhood and see Howard verbally abusing his family, drunk, at the dinner table.

Iron Man Vol. 1 #285

We get this scene with adult Tony’s retrospective commentary on how his own issues that he blamed himself for were actually a cycle starting with his father, the insecurity and abuse and alcohol, and that he realizes how much this has influenced him. Both MCU Tony and 616 Tony have some form of “stop the cycle of shame” arcs, but I don’t really see how this works narratively in the MCU because Tony makes excuses for Howard and continues to blame himself for a lot of his own personal struggles, whereas I think there’s just a bit more nuance in 616.

But uh. This isn’t totally true, and in recent years, things got real weird. I choose to ignore this chapter of canon, but in the Dan Slott run, Tony Stark: Iron Man, Tony’s whole backstory gets imploded. For one thing, the little of Tony’s childhood it shows in a flashback is uh. Uh. Well, it’s certainly out of character compared with previous 616 material, depicting Tony as an overly confident poor sport.

Basically, Tony is adopted. Tony has an evil brother. Tony’s biological parents make an appearance, as do his ‘classic’ parents, Howard and Maria. It’s just weird. It’s kind of out there. I’m honestly not a huge fan of this and ignore a lot of it, but it is certainly a difference between MCU and 616.

3. Personality

I’m going to be very general. Both Tony’s have an outer self which they present to the public and an inner self, but they’re a bit different. Both Tony’s have struggled with self loathing, but I think MCU Tony’s actual self worth is a bit higher, even just at some points in time. Even if his ego is part of his facade, I think he does believe some amount of the “I’m awesome”, even if just when it applies to his own work/inventions/saving people. Not to say that these moments of fluctuating self esteem make him egotistical, but this combined with his egotistical act and snarky, non-stop sassy dialogue, he’s quite different in general personality from 616 Tony, who is much more reserved.

Some more recent iterations of 616 Tony have been adapted to reflect the snark of the MCU, but he’s not so snarky and he tends to approach things more seriously. This is not a dis on MCU Tony; I think MCU Tony uses false ego and excessive sassy jokes as a means to deflect and control, which I think is very interesting and it’s nice to see this explored more in depth in fic where you get to see the thought process behind the bravado. MCU Tony is a partier, a good times guy, especially during Iron Man 2, in which he really does disregard consequences to have fun (driving his race car, partying drunk in his suit, letting pretty girls play with the armor, shooting off repulsor blasts for fun in a crowded room); I’m not bashing MCU Tony-- I think he had psychologically understandable reasons for behaving this way, the man was dying-- but 616 Tony really doesn’t act this way generally, and I think it’s a personality difference more than a difference of one being “better.”

616 Tony handles his stress differently, and they just have different psychological patterns, I think. I’m coming up kind of blank trying to think of a good comparable 616 arc, (sorry, I’m brain dead) but a less-than-perfect example might be Tony’s brain delete arc; he’s “dying”, like in Iron Man 2 he knows his expiration date, (circumstances are quite a bit different), but he throws himself more into work, into a cause, and as he really fall apart, we see him spiral into self doubt, remorse, fear, and insecurity, sort of falling into himself with lots of manly tears and calling himself pathetic.

(Some things happen in this arc that a lot of people find Gross. I also find these events gross. But. I don’t count the sex in “World’s Most Wanted” as partying to cope with personal mortality, because I think both character involved are in “end of the world” mode, and it’s more seeking intimacy for comfort than partying to numb the hurt. Does this distinction make sense? No? Perfect, moving on.) 616 Tony is generally much more humble.

Whereas MCU Tony, I think, tries to outrun those feelings via parties or making dozens of new suits, or seeking comfort by comforting others! Gifting things to people, building things for people, highly personalized individual living quarters, teaching Nebula games and trying to show her a fun time when they were in peril together.

They have some traits in common, for sure! But canon being inconsistent both in the MCU and in 616, my observations aren’t the rule, because I’m kind of cherry picking and going based on limited memory. But off the top of my head, they’re both extravagant gift givers! Recall Tony gifting Pepper the giant bunny in Iron Man 3, and compare this with Tony carrying a mile high pile of Christmas gifts after shopping with Rumiko in Iron Man Vol. #3.

I would say that while both Tony Starks are considered humanitarians, this is much more fleshed out and supported by canon in 616. Some examples of his philanthropy in the MCU: Tony makes charitable donations of art and money, Tony has an organization which provides disaster relief/cleanup which is referenced in Spider-Man Homecoming, Tony has an MIT grant for students and staff members. But to be honest, a lot of his MCU philanthropy is only mentioned in passing, or is largely handled by other people on his behalf and on his dollar.

In 616, we see Tony using charity almost as a means of therapy: it’s something he does very privately, not in the public eye (at least, not always), and it’s something deeply personal to him. One example that immediately comes to mind is Tony’s home for disadvantaged girls in Iron Man Vol. 3, and we see scenes of Tony basically driving the streets at night, picking up underage prostitutes, feeding them and listening to their stories before bringing them to a home he’s established where he knows all the residents, and provides educational opportunities and protection.

Another more recent example in canon that the Tony fandom loves is that Tony canonically holds babies at an orphanage. Sorry I don’t have panels for all of this, this section got long and I have been working on answering this ask in a very scattered way for a very long time.

Both Tony’s are romantics, I literally could write a whole other post about their canon love life similarities and differences, but I will briefly say that while MCU Tony does the long on and off, and eventual ultimate commitment, to Pepper Potts, 616 Tony is a serial monogamist; he is always falling in love, and he’s definitely not a playboy, but the hero-ing, self loathing, and lifestyle make it very hard for him to keep anyone in his life, and most of his partners fuck his life up and betray him. Needless to say, 616 Tony is not married, and certainly not to Pepper Potts.

Oh, and I guess this is so obvious I almost forgot to include it, but a huge similarity between both iterations of Tony is that they both constantly use their own life as a bargaining chip, and will pretty much die for anything. Or be the bad guy for a good reason (at least, in his own mind... see Civil War, or Hickmanvengers; 616 Tony, especially, does not shy away from making the hard decisions, and this leads to a lot of guilt and tension in his relationships-- often with Steve because 616 Steve/Tony angst fans are well fed, I guess)

Remember that time Tony had Steve’s mind wiped because Tony felt that Steve’s inflexible morality might hinder the Illuminati’s ability to save the world? And it eats Tony up inside and erupts into a homicidal fight when Steve finally gets his memory back? Me too.

Tony Stark as a character is defined by sacrifice, both of his own life but also of his own happiness and reputation and conscience, I think, in a lot of ways, and we see this in many universes. I could go on about Tony’s propensity for sacrifice in the less obvious ways, because I think in terms of heroic sacrifice, Tony has done a lot that other heroes wouldn’t be able to do because of moral inflexibility and conflicting philosophical schools of thought; Tony really is the “whatever it takes” type, and often believes the ends justify the means if he deems a threat worse than the potential wrong that could be done in preventing the threat. We see this a little bit in the MCU in the creation of Ultron, and in Civil War with the Accords. But there’s a whole lot more going on there I don’t want to get into.

4. Alcohol

MCU Tony’s alcoholism is never really explicitly explored. He is shown drinking in Iron Man 1, and in Iron Man 2 he drinks a lot and makes a fool of himself publicly, but MCU Tony doesn’t get any specific narrative arc focused on his drinking, and if I recall correctly, I don’t think he ever refers to his drinking as alcoholism in the movies? Also, while his binge drinking and embarrassing behaviors ostensibly stop after the events of Iron Man 2, he is shown drinking on screen at least one other time after that which I can remember, and it wasn’t a “falling off the wagon” moment, and an alcoholic in recovery such as 616 Tony would not take a drink casually. This article sheds a little light on some decisions made about Tony and alcohol in the MCU.

Alcoholism is a huge part of 616 Tony’s personality, which I went a bit more into depth about in this post, so I won’t repeat myself too much.

5. Their relationships with the Iron Man armor

A few points here: MCU Tony is famous for the “I am Iron Man” line being repeated throughout the franchise after he blows his own secret in the end of the first movie. MCU Tony sees himself as one with Iron Man, and the suit is the tech that enables him to be this version of himself. He sees Tony Stark and Iron Man as inextricable: you cannot separate them, and his identity is public. He, as Tony Stark, is an Avenger.

You may remember MCU Tony’s induction into the Avengers; in Iron Man 2, Nick Fury is forming the Avengers and tasks the Black Widow with going undercover to assess Tony to be a part of a hypothetical initiative. “Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no” and the comments about Tony as a narcissist may be funny, but the fact is, the snark and erratic personality of MCU Tony at the time of the formation of the Avengers in the movies is not at all like the Tony of the comics, at the time of the Avengers being formed.

In 616, things are quite a bit different! Tony invents the Iron man armor to save himself (like in the MCU) and uses it for hero-ing, but in secret. He works very hard to protect his identity as Iron Man, and for a long time, as far as the world is concerned, Iron man is a mystery man piloting armor built by Tony, hired as Tony’s personal body guard, (hence the 616 Steve/Tony fandom’s proclivity for identity porn as a trope!) When the Avengers form, Iron Man is the Avenger, close friends with the Avengers, (particularly Steve!) and Tony Stark is just the benefactor of the Avengers, providing them with a place to live and finances with which to operate.

In the very early days, Tony did not have the “reactor” like in the MCU, but his chest plate did keep him alive, leading to some very dramatic shots of Tony charging up using a wall socket, lamenting the plight of a secret hero.

616 Tony, generally, and especially in some of these earlier comics, was quite reserved, rather serious, and very angsty, (in private of course.) He may be wealthy, but speaking generally, he’s much less ostentatious than MCU Tony, less of a show off, less into flashy things and grand gestures. Of course, this isn’t always true in the comics, and some iterations of Tony are more like this than others, but MCU Tony is showier, sillier, and more of a fun-times guy. Any MCU fan would find those panels quite contrary to the Tony Stark you know:

Iron Man 1

Iron Man 2

I think I would say that while MCU Tony sees himself and the Iron Man identity and the armor as all being inextricably connected, we see a bit more compartmentalization with 616 Tony, who pretends that the armor is a whole separate person for years when his identity was private, and we see instances in older and newer comics, in which Tony is uncomfortable with some aspect of himself as Iron Man (for instance, during the second drinking arc, Tony temporarily swears off being Iron Man entirely, or for another example, when Tony is in a comma and Tony AI exists during Secret Empire, Tony “lives” in the Iron Man suit, and I think this could be interpreted as a meta parallel to Steve during this arc; Steve has had some core aspect of his character inverted, Captain America becoming Captain Hydra, so Tony experiences a similar inversion-- Tony Stark and Iron Man are forcibly merged, in a way that Tony seems deeply uncomfortable with, if his digital drinking relapse is any indication. But I digress; sorry for the tangent.)

Okay this post is inexcusable long, and very, very tangential, and I don’t feel like I’ve really covered everything I wanted to. But it has been sitting in my inbox for too long and if I don’t post it now I never will, so I hope this long, rambling thing has been a little bit helpful to you! Thank you so much for asking, I had a lot of fun rambling about this.

If you want to read a similar post, but well written and organized, with other insights, this post by Sineala answers a similar question!

#Anonymous #han reads comics #han meta #meta #iron man #tony stark #616 tony stark #616 #mcu #long post #han speaks #ask #sorry this definitely gets more incomprehensible as it goes on but i have been writing and rewriting and editing and fretting about this #for so long that if i dont just post it i probably never will and i sunk too many hours into it #to throw it away now 😅#abuse tw #abuse #alcoholism tw #alcoholism

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cherishmimi · 3 years ago

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I hope all is well my friend. It's November 2020 and I still love you're Bigger Than Us... bechloe fic XD as always, I'd never ever wish to put pressure on you, but I just wanted to remind you how damn talented a writer you are and how much I'm looking forward to where you take our girls and all the filth that comes with it 😘. Stay safe, and I wish you all the best xoxo

Hello friend! Thank you for your kind words and sorry that it took so long to reply. These last few years have been inconsistent for me when it comes to my passion for writing and my career in music ( thanks to the pandemic) but I‘ve been able to make it back to what I love generally unscathed. I’m in the process of updating my Faberry Epic, Cherished Affliction and writing and posting original work - Drabble to start so that I don’t overwhelm myself - on my Patreon that I just finally got up and running but BTUBB is still my little Bechloe baby and I have updates coming for that as well as edits for the previous chapters. The Bechloe fandom is a loyal and sweet one and I’m grateful any of you are still reading and messaging me about my little silly fanfic! Nevertheless, I still have tricks up my sleeve for Chloe and Beca! Love you and hope you are well!

- Mimi

#BTUBB #bechloe fanfiction #fanfiction #writing

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somarsword · 4 years ago

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Sleep on the Floor - Part 2

ROGER TAYLOR X READER

Hi again :> So I should probably warn you ahead that this story isn't as realistic as other fanfics. The boys are currently on their 1976 tour so that's the route we follow in terms of location but not much else. Let's just pretend you (the reader) haven't heard of the band which is why you aren't entirely psyched when you met them. Uh yeah... guess that's most of it? Oh also, sorry for being pretty inconsistent about Rog's attitude towards you. I just felt it would be more appropriate this way.

Enjoy the read :)

picture taken from pinterest, posted by @hoopdiddydo_

WARNING: none. Cursing?

word count: 1.2k words

February 8, 1976 - New York

You had spent the whole day yesterday attempting to walk as far as you could, but no matter how much your legs hurt from how hard you'd pushed yourself, you couldn't make it even a fraction out of this hellhole. So here you were, now sitting outside a gas station eating a sad excuse of a meal.

You're all out of options. You had lost almost all contact with your friends after they had moved to other states, and the ones who were in New York were Simon's friends first. Your mom wouldn't understand if you told her, she never really loved you anyway, she only loved the idea of having someone to show off. If you were to tell her this she'd shun you and force you back into the arms of your 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 fiancé.

You had no one. Not a single person to run to.

𝐹𝑢𝑐𝑘, 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒 𝑘𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑡.

Shaking your head, you stand and walk over to the payphone situated next to the entrance of the convenience shop.

Only option. Last hope.

The line rings for about 2 minutes before he finally picks up.

"Hello?" his voice slightly raspier than normal.

"Hey Roger, it's uh... well actually you never caught my name, but it's Y/n. The girl from the Ritz the other night" you hear shuffling on the other line.

"Oh yeah, right. Are you alright?" he asks groggily, concern laced in his voice.

"I've been better" you say, letting out a small laugh, "Actually that's why I was calling, are you still in New York?"

"Yeah" he takes a deep breath in "It's our last day here actually"

"Oh. Are you still up for a chat?" you ask him hesitantly.

"We're talking now aren't we?" he says, obviously confused.

"Well yeah. I just-" you pause, closing your eyes and sighing deeply before continuing, "I need to ask you a favor and I need to ask it in person"

The line goes silent, and for a second you believe you may have lost you last chance of escaping. You hear him let out a slightly irritated breathe before reluctantly responding.

"Okay. 30 minutes at the coffee shop at 5th Ave." is all he says before dropping the phone call.

••• -•- •• •--•

"Hey, thanks for meeting me" you say as Roger approaches the table. He nods in response, taking a seat opposite you.

"So what is it you wanted to ask?" He asks once he's settled in.

"You mentioned you were on tour the other night..." you trail off and glance up at him, watching him closely. He nods for you to continue. "Well I was hoping I could catch a ride to the next state."

His eyebrows furrow, both confusion and disbelief written on his face.

"I barely know you" there's a hint of annoyance as he says so, shaking his head.

"Look I know it's a big deal for me to be asking this, but it's the only option I have left. Please. I'll even work for my spot there if that's what it takes. Just please. I need to get out of here." you beg and as he stares back at you his irritation slowly dissipates.

••• -•- •• •--•

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" You hear someone ask as Roger enters the bus in search of his manager.

"Where's Miami?" is all he says in response, ignoring the previous question thrown at him.

"He's at the back. Are you gonna answer me or-" Roger pops his head out of the bus, quickly motioning for you to follow him, disregarding the other man's question again.

As you step in the three men lounging inside turn their heads towards you before voicing their frustration at the blonde.

"So this is where you've been? Couldn't you have kept it in your pants 'til we reached Detroit?"

"Do you always have to be shagging someone at every second?"

Roger ignores the comments of the other men as you both make your way to the back. Once there, you find a man sat at the corner, a bunch of papers set next to him.

"Jim" Roger begins, making the man turn his attention away from the documents and towards the both of you. He raises his brows, signalling Roger to carry on.

"Are there any openings left for the roadies or interns?" Roger asks.

"I don't think so. Why?" He asks, glancing at you.

"This lady here doesn't have enough money to get out of state and was hoping to hitch a ride with us. She offered to work as compensation" You nod, agreeing to Roger's statement. You hastily grab the folder in your bag, handing it to the man.

"I can help with finances, I have a degree in accountancy" You rush out, hoping to convince him. He scans the contents of the folder for a few seconds before closing it again.

𝑁𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑜

"Please sir, I'll even scrub the toilets. Doesn't matter what job you give me, I'll do my best. I can't stay here. Please" you beg. In your 24 years on earth, never had you ever thought you'd be begging 2 strangers to take you with them.

The man chuckles slightly at your sudden outburst, shaking his head in amusement.

"You don't have to do any of that sort, I've been struggling with organizing the finances so you'll come in handy." he hands back your folder, a smile gracing his face.

••• -•- •• •--•

It's been a couple of hours since you've watched the tall buildings you've grown up with shrink, slowly vanishing from your line of sight. The boys had all gone to sleep just a little over an hour ago, leaving you to sleep on the couch, but no matter how hard you tried you couldn't sleep.

With a exhausted huff you sit up abruptly causing the book on your chest to fall on the ground with a thud. Cursing silently, you reach down to pick it up. Just as you lift your head, you're met with the singer of the band emerging from the sleeping area. Freddie Mercury, you think his name was.

"Can't sleep either darling?" he ask, taking a seat beside you. You shake your head, frowning. He let's out a small laugh, understanding your frustration.

"You know, you look awfully familiar. Have we met somewhere before?" he's now looking directly at you, scanning your face for the answer.

"I don't think so" You tell him, shifting your gaze away from him uncomfortably.

A few minutes of silence falls between the both of you before Freddie shoots up from his position, now fully standing in front of you.

"Wait, I remember now. You're the lady from the Ritz the other night! Right?" He whisper-screams with glee, pacing around a bit. Before you can respond he speaks again, "What are you doing on this bus with us darling? You should be planning your wedding!"

You close your eyes tightly, beginning to feel the familiar sting of tears forming. At your silence Freddie pauses his pacing and glances at you.

"Can we not talk about it?" is all you manage to say as you do your best to keep your breathing steady. You feel the couch dip once more as he resumes his space next to you. He says nothing.

"I know I owe you lot an explanation for my sudden appearance on your tour but-" you cut yourself off, aggressively wiping the tears with the back of your hand. "I'm not ready to talk about it" you finally choke out. He hums in acknowledgement.

"Alright lovie, it's alright. No pressure, you don't have to explain anything to us alright?" He says soothingly as he rubs your back in a circular motion.

You nod in appreciation.

#roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy!roger taylor #Jim Beach #freddie mercury #queen fanfic

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tea-at-221 · 4 years ago

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The TJLC Debacle: 3 years out from S4 and counting; the copyright mini-theory; so much salt I’m bloated; but in the end, there is peace (I love you Johnlockers)

Ugh, don't even talk to me about Mary.

Don't even talk to me about the way Mofftiss have said they're sick of responding to fans on the subject of Johnlock. Of how they've said they're "not telling anyone else what to think or write about them" (as if they could stop us; as if they even own Sherlock themselves. Do keep reading, because this point becomes much more relevant and in-jokey later on). Don't even mention how they've bitched and whined incessantly because--god forbid--fans got *really really* into their show and emotionally invested.

They're so eager to discount all the beautiful little moments they wrote as accidents. And Arwel, who planted all those props, continually demonstrates that he's on their side (a not-very in-depth-analysis of his Instagram account and the way he interacted with fans towards the beginning of the pandemic showed as much, but I think maybe he’s grown a bit wiser and quieter since at least in terms of Johnlock and all things elephant-related. I don’t know for sure because I stopped looking.)

Anyway--they'd actually prefer for us to celebrate our own intelligence, is I suppose a charitable way of looking at it: our ability to make connections between things in the show; our metas on symbolism; our insightful fanfic; etc., and denounce them as the bad writers that they ultimately are.

More under the cut.

(This post may be of interest to you especially if you came to the fandom a bit later: multiple links to things of relevance/quotes/explanations appear both within and at the end of this entry.)

Because what makes a writer good?

Well, an ability to make people feel an emotional connection to their work, for one. I know this is just my own perspective, but if not for Johnlock, all my emotion about the show would evaporate. There wouldn't be much else there. Other people might get something, but I wouldn’t. Is some of the writing witty and entertaining regardless of any inferred/implied Johnlock? Yeah but, eh, a lot of shows have some good writing and I just don’t give a damn about them.

What makes a writer good?

Not making promises to the reader/viewer that they'll never keep. Plot holes, leading dialogue ("There’s stuff you wanted to say...but didn’t say it.” “Yeah”) never followed through on, puns that are apparently, I suppose, unintentional (e.g. "'Previous' commander?" "I meant 'ex'").

Uh, not writing continual gay jokes that aren't actually pointing toward the inference that people are making them because there's actually something going on there under the surface. (How about just don't make those jokes ever.)

Not being, apparently, oblivious (? questionable) to the queerbaiting they're engaging in *as they’re writing it.*

Acting like their LGBT audience is in the wrong/the bad guy, instead of choosing to remain respectful in the face of dissent. Instead it's just, "we never wrote it that way" / "We never played it that way."

A lot of those other mildly witty shows don’t actually blatantly drag their most passionate fans face-down through the mud the writers themselves created. Imagine that.

I'm not even a fan of Martin Freeman anymore, for the way he handled the whole thing (getting angry, the comments he made about how the fans made Sherlock “not fun anymore”...apparently Martin’s packing up his crayons and going home?)...no offense to anyone who is still a fan of his. I don’t make it a habit to drag him. I do to some degree understand his frustration with having the whole situation taken out on him--he’s just an actor in the show--but I simply wish he’d remained as cool and professional about it as Benedict Cumberbatch instead of pointing at the fans. You’re pointing in the wrong direction, mate.

What also irks me at the end of the day is this: the subsection of people who legitimately responded badly to the TJLC/S4 debacle and went above and beyond to harass the writers and actors/actresses on social media are *few and far between*, but we've been lumped in with them by what feels like...everyone, Martin included. TJLCers/Johnlockers (not the same group, but often treated as such) have been made to look like a bunch of rambunctious, immature, demanding children time and time and again in the wake of S4.

They'd rather, what, suggest John was so in love with Mary? THAT was the relationship they wanted to uphold in that show as so significant and...what, a demonstration of how honorable it is to respect your heterosexual relationship despite, you know...ANYTHING?

Yeah sorry, I don’t believe in that. John’s text-based affair, whether a disappointment for some as to his supposed character, was a very human reaction and I kinda sorta feel like I would have reacted MUCH more strongly than that had I been John. But nope. He stayed with Mary and was *ashamed* of his wandering eye. Ashamed that maybe he wanted to be admired by someone. I can’t think of a scene, off the top of my head, where Mary ever interacted with John without belittling him in some way--if not with words, then with consistently patronizing glances.

The message here is that heterosexuality is not just acceptable, but VALUABLE, however it manifests--but god forbid anyone see a queer subtext. (Why are lgbt+ writers some of the very WORST offenders where this is concerned? And they defend it! Is this childhood nostalgia/Stockholm Syndrome of the very fondest variety or what? Gay angst is all they got if they got anything at all, so it’s still good enough as far as “representation” goes?)

They really want to tell the story of John as so emotionally/mentally fucked up that he surrounds himself with unstable people time and again. They never give any reason *why* he might do that (which they could have done even soooo subtly), or delve into his past--just, apparently it's okay to assume that Sherlock's comment about "she's like that because you chose her" is exactly that.

No. Sherlock and Mary are NOT the same. Not...*remotely*!

Mary is underhanded and evil. She lies. She manipulates. She schemes. Her “love” is based on selfishness, and her assumption that John is a simpleton and hers to mold. She's in it for herself.

Sherlock hides. He prevaricates. He feels. He loves John. He does fucked up things in the name of love, but always for the benefit of those he loves. When he screws up, which he obviously does, it’s painful to us as the audience because we see that it is painful for him when he recognizes and regrets it.

I have never seen Mary regret anything. Those crocodile tears at Christmas? More manipulation. Inconsistent with anything else we were shown about her as a character.

To even think for a SECOND that people could ship Mary and John and mentally condemn John for cheating on Mary AFTER SHE SHOT HIS BEST FRIEND...as if marriage is the be-all-end-all free pass in which every sin must be forgiven until the end of time...as if John broke any covenant with his wife beyond those she broke from the very moment she walked into his life *with an entire fake past.* Is just. Well. It's asking us to accept gaslighting as healthy, loving, normal, *preferable* behavior, so...given the source that message is coming from, it's all a bit meta.

THAT. Is insanity. Maybe Mofftiss are the sociopaths.

How these men could write characters they themselves understand so little (or tell us they understand so little because their emotional maturity has yet to surpass that of the average three-year-old’s), I will never know. I can only imagine that they have absorbed, by osmosis over their lives, real and nuanced human behavior...then churned it back out again in their writing unaware, a bit like psychopaths who teach themselves what "normal" people do so that they can pass as psychologically sound in regular society.

Remember, we *are* talking about men who do these sorts of things:

Moffat says that Sherlock is celibate and that people who claim he's misogynistic when he does things like make Irene Adler imply she's attracted to the detective (even though she's a lesbian) are, ironically, "deeply offensive" (despite lines like "look at us both" in Battersea. We aren't your therapists, Moffat--we don't care what you meant, we care what you said, and what you *said* was clear. *Implying* it does not let you off the hook).

Gatiss has proclaimed that "I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting" than the idea of ever making a show addressing LGBT issues. (That link is to a reddit forum, and I can't find the original interview anymore, but I assure you I had seen the actual article myself ages back and can't find it online again now along with some of the Martin quotes I wanted to link to. And nevermind what Gatiss has done with LGBT shows/issues since--my focus here is on what he has said, versus what he and Moffat have since claimed regarding their queerbaiting.)

Here’s a transcript of this screenshot:

"...many people come up and say they didn't realise." Despite this lack of public awareness, being part of the gay community is clearly important to Gatiss: "The older I get the more I want to give something back. I mean, I keep meaning to do something." When asked if he'd be interested in making a series about gay issues his response was enlightening:

"No, I don't think I'd make a kind of gay programme. It's much more interesting when it's not about a single issue. And equally, I find flirting with the homoeroticism in Sherlock much more interesting. Of course this reflects the grand picture of everyone's strange make-up; there are good gay people and bad gay people. I wouldn't like to make an issue film around the culture of being gay."

Instead Gatiss' interest seems to lie in making a drama where sexuality is, if not mundane, part of the wider framework: "I'd quite like to do something about a quite happy, ordinary gay person who's just incidentally gay. For example, a three-part thriller for ITV where the lead character just happens to be gay; when they finally go home, say 45 minutes in, and they had a same sex partner. That to me would be genuinely progressive. It wouldn't be a three-part gay thriller for ITV. It would be that this character just happened to be gay."

--End article quote.

And instead, who is canonically gay in the series? Well, Irene Adler. The innkeepers at the Cross Keys. And perhaps most notably, the *villains*, because that's a helpful trope: Moriarty and Eurus are, in S4, both implied to be at least bisexual.

Any character should be able to be any sexuality, this is true. But can we have some main characters, the good guys, give some good representation? Can't we start making that the standard, rather than the villains and the background characters? Because so far, that is the exception and not the rule.

Writers need to be aware of the damage they are perpetuating. We are not quite in a world yet where any character should be able to be any sexuality but isn't, yet we have no problem with saying the villain is LGBT+ or looks different/functions differently than much of the viewing audience.

"Male friendship is important and valid, not everything has to be gay"--this is a popular point with casual heterosexual viewers (and, to my chagrin, some of my LGBT+ friends) who don't fully grasp what "queerbaiting" is, often even when it's pointed out to them.

The lens of heterosexuality is real. My first time through watching BBC Sherlock, I didn't see the Johnlock at all. I had to look for it and read about it. When I saw it, the lens was lifted for me, and it changed my life and the way I view things forever (and for the best).

But back to my point about how little Mofftiss seem to understand their own story/most ardent fans, and then on to my other theory: in S4 it must be that they dropped their “psychopaths emulating empathy” act and indulged in their own "insane wish fulfillment" by doing away with all of the meaning, continuity, and sense. Right?

So, here’s the alternate theory. One which is not, please remember, in their defense.

Remember that S4 is what Mofftiss are *happy* to have us believe is what they'd do with these characters, given the chance to do whatever they wanted. I repeat, in Moffat’s own words: “Insane wish fulfillment.”

Okay I get it, this pasta has been over-salted.

Without further delay: MY COPYRIGHT RESEARCH THEORY THAT EVEN I DON'T PUT MUCH STOCK IN AND WHICH DOESN’T MAKE UP FOR THEIR CRUELTY EVEN IF TRUE

Part of me also raises an eyebrow at S4 as perhaps an example of the effect of the Conan Doyle estate on any modern production in the US. While it’s true that all of Sherlock is part of public domain in the UK and has been for quite a long time, Gatiss and Moffat still talk about it being partially under copyright. Specifically, the last 10 stories. I’m supposing that this means that because Sherlock airs internationally, or due to whatever contract the BBC has with the Doyle estate, they are still limited by the copyright as to what they can “publish”.

The Doyle estate is known for being a pain in the ass when it comes to abiding by copyright law as everyone else knows and practices it. They’ve tried to argue, for example (in 2013 and, much more recently, with the advent of Enola Holmes), that because Holmes and Watson were not fully developed as their final selves until the conclusion of all 10 stories still under copyright, then perhaps the characters themselves should still be protected, basically, in full.

It’s true that certain elements of the remaining stories are still under copyright here in the US (Watson had more than one wife--uh huh, we have that to look forward to, Johnlockers; the Garridebs moment is still under copyright--yeah, I’m getting to that too; and Sherlock didn’t care much for dogs til later so that’s not allowed either, fuck off Redbeard), but the estate’s problem in 2013 seemed to be based around a fear that *gasp* some day--if not right now!--anyone could write a Sherlock Holmes story in any way they pleased, changing the characters however they wished to and giving those characters “multiple personalities.”

See the following excerpt from the Estate’s case:

“...at any given point in their fictional lives, the two men's characters depend on the Ten Stories. It is impossible to split the characters into public domain versions and complete versions.”

(Click for full transcript.)

Obviously, by this point, that’s been done in multiple iterations. So I dunno. Their argument was *more* than muddy to begin with--they just grasp at straws to stay in control, it seems.

But okay. Backing up: wasn’t there sort-of a Garridebs moment in S4?!?? you cry. Yep. But imagine this: the Conan Doyle estate taking Mofftiss to court to argue that they depicted the Garridebs moment--a moment still under copyright--in The Final Problem.

Did they, though? Did they really?

The fandom cried out about the ridiculousness--the utter disappointment--of that moment when it was shown. It was not what we would have expected/wanted. We didn’t see John injured, Sherlock reacting with tender outrage to the good doctor’s attacker.

Instead we saw some ludicrous BS that was as bad as the clown with the sword-gun-umbrella. More of that.

I think Martin probably found that it was easy to produce real tears when he thought about how fucking terrible the S4 scripts were.

Ahem. Yet, this all seems very Mofftiss-flavored in terms of humor.

I can all-too-easily imagine them saying, “HA. We’re going to show some of these supposedly copyrighted things--and if they take us to court, they’ll be laughed out of the room.” Could that explain some of the overall S4 fuckery?

Sherlock wasn’t supposed to like dogs til later stories, as previously mentioned-- is that why Redbeard pulled a “Cinderella’s carriage” and transformed into a pumpkin (Victor Trevor)? Hmm. Sigh.

It...doesn’t actually appear that the estate has any qualms about taking laughable stuff to court, I mean...*shrug.* They have the money to do it, and money is the name of the game, because you’ve got to pay for rights (cha-ching sounds).

Yep, it does seem that the estate is open to the copyrighted materials being made reality, but who knows for what price or with what caveats. The BBC isn’t, so far as I’ve ever heard, known for throwing money around. Early Doctor Who would be so much less entertaining if they’d had any sort of budget. (And in fact, more of the older episodes would exist, but apparently the BBC--in part to cut costs--reused some of their tapes.)

My bottom-line bitter is this: Mofftiss do like to amuse themselves. To please themselves and no one else, as they’ve shown time and again. Sure, they could do whatever they wanted with S4...and they did...but they were also cruel about it, and that’s what I’ll never forgive them--OR the BBC--for.

A lot of fans gave up after series 4. I was very nearly one of them. I was angry, like just about every other Johnlocker and/or TJLCer, but I was really truly heartbroken. I couldn’t look at fanfiction. My days were full of bitterness and I keenly felt the lack of the fandom outlet that had become so essential to my mental well-being. I didn't know how to overcome the disparity between TJLC and what the show actually was. I didn't know how to separate the things I loved so much from the shitty writers and the way the BBC handled things with their whole response letter (that atrocious, childish blanket response they sent to everyone who complained about S4, not just the Johnlockers/TJLCers. Related to your complaint or not, if you filed one post-S4, this was the response you got). I still boycott BBC shows/merchandise, just by the way.

I tried to link to the blanket response letter but the link didn’t want to work (it’s an old reddit post; I had difficulty finding a copy of the letter elsewhere though at one point it wasn’t so hard...Google is weird these days y’all...tell me it’s not just me) so here’s a screenshot:

Transcript:

“Thank you for contacting us about “Sherlock”.

The BBC and Hartswood Films have received feedback from some viewers who were disappointed there was not a romantic resolution to the relationship between Sherlcok and John in the finale of the latest season of “Sherlock”.

We are aware that the majority of this feedback uses the same text posted on websites and circulated on social media.

Through four series and thirteen episodes, Sherlock and John have never shown any romantic or sexual interest in each other. Furthermore, whenever the creators of “Sherlock” have been asked by fans if the relationship might develop in that direction, they have always made it clear that it would not.

Sherlock’s writers, cast and producers have long been firm and vocal supporters of LGBT rights.

The BBC does not accept the allegations leveled at “Sherlock” or its writers, and we wholeheartedly support the creative freedom of the writers to develop the story as they see fit.

We will of course register your disappointment.

Thank you for contacting us.

Kind Regards,

BBC Complaints Team

So how about that? *Did* they “register our disappointment”? We can actually check that. The BBC’s website has a monthly summary of complaints received. So what did they receive in January 2017, the month S4 aired?

Huh, what do you know. Sounds like that blanket response was exactly the “fuck you” it came across as.

But the show--the FANDOM--had filled a need in my life, and so I had to own that and make it mine, or just...let something in me die: something that felt like an actual vital organ. I had to decide that these characters mean something to me beyond what anyone else tells me they should. I had to accept my own perceptions as truth, as I do with everything else in my life. I had to overcome the idea of canon as law (BBC Sherlock isn't canon anyway; ACD is canon. BBC Sherlock is, in the end, badly written fanfiction--or--worse?--decent pre-slash fanfiction distorted by consistent lies and the hazing of the LGBT audience, topped with the dumpster fire of S4′s incoherent nonsense).

I had to take the good and throw away the bad, just like anyone else who chose to stay. The good bits of the show...dialogue, yes. Plot points, yes. These awful writers did write some good stuff sometimes.

They just broke all the unspoken rules of what not to do to your audience. And then did and said everything they could not to apologize, and to justify their own failings. Which, in the years since I began shipping queer ships beyond any others, I have unfortunately experienced more than once.

So, my vulnerability has been yeeted into the vacuum of broke-my-trustdom: no one can tell me what things should mean to me. I will decide.

I decide that all of the FUCKING AMAZING writing in the Sherlock fandom is a staple in my life that makes it worth living. And that that's okay. And takes precedence over anything the writers or anyone else associated with the show could ever say or do.

Johnlock can not be taken away. It doesn't belong to them. It never did, even if they brought us to it. It belongs to us. To the group of amazingly creative, brainy, empathetic, resourceful, vibrant, resilient people who make up this fandom.

So thank YOU, all of YOU, for giving me Sherlock, Johnlock, and TJLC.

I am SO SAD for those who never found a way to make peace with this fandom again. Let me just say that I understand that inability entirely.

I am fortunate that I found the ability in myself to cling to the joy (something it has taken my whole life to be able to do). I hope others will who haven’t yet but wish they could.

Let Mofftiss and whoever sides with them stay angry and bitter and vicious, always looking over their shoulders for anyone who dares to whisper about subtext.

I’m proud to be part of what they’re whispering so angrily about.

Thanks for sticking it out if you made it this far. I know this was very self-indulgent and rambly.

Articles of interest:

A Study in Queerbaiting (Or How Sherlock Got it All Wrong) by Marty Greyson

“We never played it like that.” - Martin on Johnlock

Henry Cavill on the Enola Holmes lawsuit

More on that--and by the way Sherlock isn’t allowed to like dogs

The way Sherlock creators told fans Sherlock & John aren’t gay is so rude

Especially for those new to the fandom who may not know the distinction between TJLC and Johnlockers and want to know more about TJLC's evolution/what it is/meta through the years

Moffat's view on asexuality, offensive to me in particular *as* an asexual person (same article where he claims he isn't misogynistic): "If he was asexual, there would be no tension in that, no fun in that – it's someone who abstains who's interesting."

Yet he says Sherlock isn't gay or straight and that he's trying to keep his brain pure which is a "very Victorian attitude"

(Nice historical research there, Moff--actually the Victorians were sex-positive).

Sherlock fans were robbed of the gay ending they deserved

Benedict Cumberbatch has lashed out at his Sherlock co-star Martin Freeman over his negative attitude towards fans

BBC complaints January 2017

Martin Freeman: 'Sherlock is gayest story ever'

From 2016: UNPOPULAR OPINION: "Sherlock" Isn't Sexist or Queerbaiting; It's Actually Trying to Stage a Revolution

Queer-baiting on the BBC's Sherlock: Addressing the Invalidation of Queer Identities through Online Fan Fiction Communities by Cassidy Sheehan

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elliewan · 4 years ago

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Boom Boom - Behind the Scenes

Hi everyone! As hinted in Chapter 14th notes, here is a (long?) tumblr post for some behind-the-scenes trivia about Boom Boom! I’m sorry it took me some time, but I’ll probably develop my HC for Thermite and Ace in another post :]

So. Here’s a small table of contents for this post. And of course, massive spoilers incoming! haha

Origin of the Title

Chapter and Rhythm building

Thermite’s friendships

Interviews with Harry

IQ/Kali’s background relationship

HC Timeline

In a nutshell

1. Origin of the title

The initial placeholder title was “Norwegian Dynamite”, then “From Texas with Norway”, then… “Boom Boom”. I’m still not happy with the title, but I think it’s good enough. And funfact, it’s kind of a mistake, but not so much. In French, my native language, heartbeat’s onomatopoeia is “Boum Boum”, while I read that in American English (the English I tended to use for my fanfic), it’s supposed to be “Thump Thump” or something like that. But I also read than in most of Norwegian dialects, “Boom Boom” could be understood as a heartbeat too. So anyway, Boom Boom refers both to the beating of their heart and to the explosions of their hard-breaching gadgets. It’s also dual, meaning that each of them is a “Boom” haha And it’s also a cute Mika song about two people being totally in love despite what their families think, and making love everywhere haha (cause in French “Faire crac crac boum boum” [“doing crac crac boom boom”] means “having sex” haha)

2. Chapter and Rhythm building

Unlike most of my fanfics, Boom Boom wasn’t written “as it goes”, I didn’t “discover” the fic while writing it. In fact, I hadn’t contemplated writing a multi-chapter for them until some comments on my Siegetober Ace/Thermite one-shots where people showed interest in the ship and a potential multi-chapter or longer story for them.

So after the Siegetober rush, while I had several wips ongoing, I started working on it. The first blank page was basically: Ace/Thermite – how do they get together for real and a series of bullet points for potential scenes. Then, I opened a PowerPoint file and started filling the following diagram:

Though this is now a bit obsolete, this was the first foundation. Thanks to this diagram, and the several bullet points for potential scenes I had brainstormed, I started building the story in a (ugly) board. Once again, several things are obsolete and I never really updated it – it was more of a working document for the “pre-writing” of the fic, to see if the story really made sense:

And one thing that really didn’t help was Ubisoft releasing the cutscene about Aruni out of nowhere haha. At the beginning, I panicked a bit because I thought it changed several things in my Thermite HC, but it happened to eventually fit quite well and even help adding more drama haha

And once I was ok enough with the board, despite it having several plot holes, I tried to measure the intensity of “love” and “dramatics” to see what kind of rhythm the fic was going to follow and check if I found it entertaining enough:

3. Thermite’s friendships

In the initial draft, Castle had a MAJOR part as Thermite’s best friend. He would help him sort his feelings, see the evolution of his relationship with Ace, and even go to Texas with him to help him face his family. But when re-reading for the umpteenth time Thermite’s file, I realized there was not a single mention of Castle, contrary to Hibana, Twitch and Thatcher. Not to mention Harry’s board where it’s written Thermite has a “sibling” relationship with Ash.

And that’s when everything ticked: Thermite is surrounded by great women. Sisterhood is part of who he is, how he was raised, how he lives. And this is why those women should have a stronger place in the story. So Hibana, Twitch, Aruni and Ash became real sisters to him. Hibana and Aruni being more like the big sisters – they’re reliable, sturdy and coolheaded, they provide him with advice and comfort; Aruni especially is quite similar in temper to his biological sister in my HC. Twitch is more like his same-age sister (though she’s younger), they see eye-to-eye but there’s no authority nor “big sister” feels between them; she’s the confident. As for Ash, she’s more like that distant sibling that has evolved a lot in life to the point where they don’t talk as mush as they used to… but who could move mountains just to get to him if she hears he’s in trouble. This is what I tried to convey :’)

4. Interviews with Harry

Honestly, interviews with Harry were my ultimate cheat code to give more information regarding Ace and Thermite’s psychological statuses, and various hints regarding their mental health. Though I sometimes prefer to bring this sort of nakedness and vulnerability throughout conversations with close friends, it wasn’t very possible here because: 1. Ace had no close friends with whom he could be this vulnerable, and he’s still new at Rainbow. (and he’s not even aware of his coping mechanisms and insecurities) 2. I kind of wanted Thermite to be incredibly good at clouding his issues, changing subjects and rejecting any kind of help, meaning that only Harry could get him to openly talk (or so he thought haha) about his mental health.

As for Harry’s behavior, I tried to render him as this kind of smooth, yet not evasive, therapist. One that wouldn’t be in the judgement, and who could wait whole minutes for the person to take their time to open up, and slowly but gently poking at the aching spots, and providing various resources to help them :)

Also, since in most of his psychological reports he seems to be very aware of friendships at the base, and to push some operators to meet some others, I tried to convey this vibe too. Just like when he says that he finds similarities with Ace, Dokkaebi and Sledge. Or when he offers Thermite to ask Lion and Meghan about their tattoos etc.

Also, here’s a bit of HC on how each of them deals with Harry haha

5. IQ/Kali’s background relationship

I have to admit I may have accidentally mirrored a lot Ace/Thermite’s relationship with IQ/Kali’s. Thing is that I wanted Kali to change too! I wanted her to be this impartial and authoritative bossy businesswoman that would slowly change into someone, though still sharp and arrogant, more human. I wanted Jaimini to show up a bit more. I have given veeery small hints to offer some glimpses at her true self, at what’s behind that mask. For instance, there is that moment in the fic where Ace and Kali argue, and he tells her:

“Jai, you and I both know very well that you didn't take this contract just for the money.”

Which makes Kali pale a lot, because he’s hitting a good nerve. In fact, I kind of headcanon Kali having softened enough around him, throughout their collaboration, to have confided a tiny bit about why she created Nighthaven, and all the frustrations she had grown up with. And thing is, Kali created Nighthaven because she wanted to be a hero too, just like him. She wanted to be at the heart of the battle, to protect people, to save lives, and she dreamed of a soldier life, of self-sacrifice and heroism. She just slid the wrong way, and her childhood dream turned into a private corporation of which she became a ruthless tycoon. Just like Ace, I think things went out of control at some point for her, and she just lose connection to reality and morals.

And the thing with IQ happened quite naturally. At the beginning, once I was okay with the three main squads (especially Alpha and Bravo), the relationship just happened on itself. While Montagne and Twitch were just those lovely and patient sweethearts, IQ was the one that had the hardest time with the Nighthaven folks, whether it were Ace or Kali. Both because she didn’t trust them and their secrecy, and because she has very little patience for people with difficult tempers in general haha

So, Kali being that bossy and defiant puzzle, refusing to let her see Nighthaven’s gadgets’ blueprints, things were just meant to sparkle between them. And Kali just couldn’t resist teasing IQ and reminding her she was untouchable. And through the teasing, the premises of a relationship were born. But unlike Ace/Thermite, I don’t think it followed a Colleagues to Friends to Lovers progression, but more an Enemies straight to Lovers progression haha

So anyway. I wanted to give a little boost to Kali, so that she opens up a bit more with Rainbow, and to bring a truce between Rainbow and Nighthaven’s disputes. And love just happened, once again, to be the perfect last push <3

Another thing that could have helped her would perhaps have been some true challenging from an authority she does respect, but I found it difficult to stage and Kali wasn’t the focus of the fic anyway – perhaps another time ;)

6. HC Timeline

And here is the ugly timeline I worked with haha It’s still probable that there are some inconsistencies, but I tried to avoid them as much as possible and I’m sorry if you find some! I’m horribly bad with figures, years and stuff haha

I used most of the canonical dates, except for Jordan’s mother and sister deceases, which weren’t accurately dated in his biography and which I reinterpreted a bit to fit my story.

Also, isn’t it absolutely lovely that their birthday is only 1 day apart? u_u #ProudPisces!

7. In a nutshell

So, those were my major documents that helped me build the foundations of the fic. What happened next was some drafting and pure writing, following the publishing tempo. I think the gist of what I wanted to convey through the story is still there, even if I reworked some chapters entirely. The journey (and the destination <3) is still the same.

+ I want to once again give a proper shout out to all the wonderful readers of the fanfic, whether they’re anonymous or not! I had never received so much feedback, and so many sweet words on any work before, even back in my time on fanfic.net. I feel so grateful for that, and though I already answered to everyone who commented, and wrote many notes, I still can’t find the way to properly translate just how much it means to me. So once again THANK YOU :’D

And thank you for reading this post too, if you did haha <3

#long post #ace/thermite #iq/kali #writing fanfiction #r6s fanfiction #my hcs #my work

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dragonswithjetpacks · 4 years ago

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I’m going to say this one time about Cullen and that’s it. And my opinion will be out there and done. This is not a negative post. But this is a long post so buckle up babes.

*warning for use of language because I swear like a sailor*

*also brief mention of rape*

Anyway, Cullen is a perfect example of poor planning in the gaming industry.

He is also a perfect example of fans thirsting so hard and wanting something so bad that the writers and developers change a character and even game elements to suite their needs. They didn’t even give him a book or a comic for redemption. You know what they did instead? They switched writers. Cullen has three writers. All of them with a different character in mind.

Cullen was a fucked up mess in Origins. He was meant to be creepy and sociopathic. I get that. The writer who basically created him had no idea he was even going to be not only a reoccurring character, but one that was going to be romance able in future games. She even apologized. Which wasn’t necessary. And so many people who played the game missed a big point about Cullen. He was never supposed to recover from Origins.

“The young templar Cullen never quite recovered from his ordeal. After months of attempting to convince his superiors that the tower was still a danger, he finally snapped and killed three apprentices before being stopped by his fellow templars. Eventually, Cullen escaped from prison, a madman and a threat to any mage he encountered.”

“Once the tower was rebuilt, Knight-Commander Greagoir stepped down from his post and retired to a life of private contemplation as a brother in the Chantry. His health failed over time, and after refusing treatment, he perished in his sleep. Knight-Commander Cullen was said to be more strict and less trusting of the mages even than Greagoir was. He ruled the Circle with fear.”

I’m sorry. But yeah. That’s the epilogue on two different choices involving the Circle’s fate in Origins. And it was ignored. I agree with that, too. But it wasn’t just Cullen that was ignored. It was the entire Circle at Kinloch Hold. If the mage warden sacrifices their own life, the Circle is supposedly free. Which... is not mentioned... ever again. And not to mention is impossible? Like okay thanks Anora or whoever but I don’t think you can just do that.

Poor writing.

I’d also like to mention for the record I did not like Cullen in Origins. I still don’t.

Now, I don’t know why exactly Cullen was brought back in DA2? I know his writer got bullied out of Bioware. I do not have an opinion on that. I mean the woman co-wrote my favorite part of Origins (Anvil of the Void). She also wrote Anders. Which I don’t think is a coincidence. People, men and women, often have this idea of fixing a broken person. It’s heavily romanticized. It’s called codependency. And you see it a lot in romance novels. But that’s another topic. It seems this writer implemented that in the game (along with some of her own personal things she had) without fully knowing Cullen would even be a romantic interest in Inquisition, but also still wanting to give him some sort reason to be desired. And all the while knowing Anders was fully romanceable. Even... a little forcefully... romanceable... if I may add... (I am uncomfortable) I also dislike some of Anders’ writing but that’s another post and I don’t want to compare the two. But Anders was the opposite side of Cullen that was done better because they had time to write it.

Regardless, Cullen seemed to hold some resemblance to his former character. But we do see a lot hesitance with him. He’s basically that “good” cop that doesn’t do anything when the bad cop is beating the shit out of everyone. Still not good, hence the quotes. Not a good guy. He has his meh he’s alright moments. And seems to generally disregard Hawke in every single way. But he’s still an ass hole for letting things happen the way that they did when he could very much so have put a stop to it. Maybe it was the writers’ intention to make it that way to show he was still suffering from trauma in Origins.

Again. Poor writing. BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW. DIDN’T HE KILL THREE PEOPLE, BIOWARE? ISN’T HE SUPPOSED TO BE KNIGHT COMMANDER IN FERELDEN, B I O W A R E??? WHAT. HAPPENED. BIOWARE.

So here’s the next thing. They decided to slip him into Inquisition for whatever reason. His writing was fair enough in DA2. Could have been better. But these people are still thirsty. They want some Curly. At the last minute, they throw romance on him. Not a bad idea. But are we supposed to forget the man was basically raped by desire demons? Is he even ok to have a relationship? OH WAIT THAT’S RIGHT. We didn’t closure on that because they ignored it.

Anyway, Cullen in Inquisition seems to be different. But because they couldn’t just, oh I don’t know, write a different character with the same traits but better, they had to somehow put the events of the previous games and how it affected him into this new current game where he supposed to be... better? Ish? Which is where we get the stereo type soldier with PTSD and a substance abuse problem. Now, if you’re any good with imagining and writing fanfic, then you probably know or already have figured out a way to connect everything better than Bioware could. But hey. Last minute romance written in on a character who was already all over the charts? Count me in. I like a good writing challenge. Poor girl who took the job of writing Inquisition Cullen likes a challenge too, apparently. Because it was her first big project. And she didn’t do a bad job. But imagine working hard on trying to write a character half the fandom hates into someone somewhat likeable just for everyone to shit all over it.

The way I look at it.... we have three different characters. And he is not really a good example to look at analyze wise. He is inconsistent. And was molded for Inquisition for thirsty fan girls. And some boys (I see you). A good example for study would be Morrigan. Or even Alistair. And Alistair is in several of the comics and still remains pretty consistent. Leliana is a prime example of character development over a course of three games. And I highly recommend you fall in love with her good and bad side because she is written beautifully. Don’t @ me.

Cullen, and I mean Inquisition Cullen, has a lot to like. And a lot to dislike. Every character is flawed. I think a lot of hate that gets tagged onto Cullen is really from poor writing. They really got lazy with him. And it is a shame. I feel like he could have been redeemed way better. He could have had one hell of a redemption. Or possibly just skipped over all together. I see a lot of posts about putting Samson in his place and I often agree. It was never quite the character that made him appealing to me. It was the personality. And they could have easily done with anyone. They could have made Samson sexy, too. It didn’t have to be sexy Cullen. And let’s face it. With Cullen’s writing in Origins and even some of the writing in DA2, Cullen siding with Coryphedouche is way more fitting than Samson.

Basically, it is up to us to fill in the gaps. So I love seeing fanfic with Cullen backstory. Because it gives better insight than what the writers could accomplish. And I applaud you if you’ve done that. BUT the over sexualization of this character is a bit... wrong. It feels wrong. And that’s all I’ll say to that. Personally, I’ve been working on some Cullen romance fic for awhile and it’s been challenging trying to find a way to make him less douchey. One minute, he’s yelling at you about mages. And the next, he’s got this soft tone and nervous look. Like, yeah... you can tell it’s rushed. And awful. And even the dialogue is just... painful. It doesn’t fit. (you can check my Cullen tag in blog to see how I feel about that). I will say that even speaking to him on a personal note, asking him questions about life as a templar, he even says he does not agree with the Order. And he wants to change his thinking. But he still gets angry when you go to side with the mages. It feels like they wanted redeem him but they also needed someone to side with the templars to provide conflict at the war table.

So in my opinion, calling him controlling and abusive is a bit of a stretch. He was clearly used by the writers. It just seems ridiculous to put so much effort in bashing the character when clearly... he was not planned out... or put together... I just... I don’t get...

I know what you’re thinking at this point: Kay.... why do you like him then?

Beacause. I am weak for a man who gets nervous around girls he likes. His awkward mannerisms despite being a man of power makes me weak. The need to protect also makes me weak. But also the ability to admit vulnerability makes me suuuuuper weak. So like I said. There was a lot there. It just was not delivered correctly. You know what I would have done? If I had to put him in the Commander shoes, I would have made the whole Kirkwall thing a life changer for him. Maybe even give him a soul searching type situation before joining the Inquisition. And definitely tell him to keep his mouth shut about siding with the templars.

Long story short: Ya’ll thirsted over a weird dude in Origins and Bioware went hmmmm okay. But by the time they gave him to you on a silver plate, it was last minute. Like you just found out your crush Jared is going to Becky’s party but you’re already at Jessica’s house and have like nothing to wear so you have to just wing it. And your shoes look tacky, but Jessica’s shoes don’t fit. So you either have to wear shoes that don’t fit or just look like omg total garbage. And Bioware went with the shoes that don’t fit. And Jared totally likes them.

I’m also going to say the most controversial thing on this entire post by just... saying... by calling Cullen out as trash without realizing the writing, the directive, the lack of development, the rush on this character, and the complete absolute bullying this community does to it’s FANS AND WRITERS kind of feels like you didn’t really put any effort into understanding why and just jumped on a band wagon. And the fact that some of you make other people feel bad for liking this character is awful. Some of the most toxic shit I’ve seen. Like maybe they like this character from Inquisition because, I don’t know, maaaaaaybe he was written out almost like a new character with a last minute fantasy romance.. because he kind of was...

Now for my opinion on Greg Ellis.

FUCK THAT GUY.

And that’s it. Thanks for stopping by. If you agree cool, if not cool. I’m not here to argue with anyone or say your opinion is invalid. We all have reasons why we hate or love the color blue. So we can all disagree or agree and live in peace and still love a game.

You can always message me, too, guys. I have a lot of opinions. And reasons for my opinions. And theories. And just things in general. But I will not hate characters written in Dragon Age. Someone wrote them. Someone is out there working their ass off to deliver a character. And I refuse to hate someone fictional.

#dragon age #dragon age critical #cullen rutherford #commander cullen #cullen critical #dragon age cullen #analyzing cullen #fuck greg ellis #kay has spoken

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aquaticalay · 5 years ago

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Siren .Chapter One.

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes fancies you, a singer who performs at a local bar every Monday and Friday night. After a few months of attending your gigs, Bucky finally got the chance to talk to you. One problem: you are New York's sonic screaming vigilante. And the avengers have been trying to figure out who you are for months. (Post-Endgame)

Warning/s for this chapter : cursing??? Is this even a warning anymore???

Warning/s for the series: cursing, violence, eventual smut (which you can skip)

Word count: 1700+ (a little short, but this chapter is more of an introduction)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Marvel characters. The song I'm using in this chapter is 'Crowbar' by Frank Carter and the Rattlesnakes.

Note: I'M FINALLY BACK. I finally found the time to commit to another multichapter fanfic, which I posted the summary to nearly half a year ago. There were people who requested to be on the taglist already months ago, and I will tag them below. If you want to get off the taglist, just let me know! (No hard feelings, preferences change!) Anyway, I apologize for the long hiatus. The reason it took so long was that I wasn't happy with how the first plot outline turned out, so I had to re do it a couple of times and even tweak the original idea a bit until I was finally happy with the plot. That, and the last few months were hectic for me. I also apologize for reuploading this for the third time, but Tumblr did not show this in the tags.

Anyway, I will be posting a new chapter every two days. Let me know if you'd like to be on the taglist!

Something about punk was liberating. It was empowering. It gave freedom back to the people. Back to you. You could say whatever the fuck you wanted, wear whatever the fuck you wanted.

That's why you loved performing in New York's thriving underground scene.

You sang at bars weekly, usually just performing whenever you could get a gig, but a dive bar in Myrtle Avenue, Brooklyn, booked you twice a week. Mermaid's Tail was an all-ages inclusive bar you've been going to for as long as you can remember.

"We're on in 5 minutes," called Lando, pulling his bass strap over his head.

Lando has been your bestfriend throughout both your childhood and adulthood. He was also a member of your band, along with two other great friends you made along the way, Vince and Luna.

"Alright," you say, dramatically standing up from the speaker you were sitting on, a lopsided grin on your face, "let's get the party started!"

The stage wasn't big. Not at all. It just had a slightly elevated floor, and just enough space for Luna's drumkit and a few amps for the guitar and bass.

You head on stage, the crowd still hyped up from the ska band who played before you.

The crowd was as big as two hundred, and it was so diverse, as you liked it. People of all ages, all shades of melanin, and all backgrounds seem to enjoy the music. Some stay at the bar and enjoyed the booze.

You came on stage, a wireless microphone wrapped tightly around your fist like a baseball bat. As Vince started playing a slow and haunting guitar riff, you shouted into the microphone "How are we feeling, Mermaid's Tail?" You said, responded by a couple of enthusiastic 'woo's from the crowd.

"We are a couple of kids from Manhattan called the Submariners, here to play you a few songs. this one is called Crowbar!"

A few people who has been to one of your show recognized it and started to jump up and down. The song started quite slowly, a simple guitar riff, a low bassline, subtle drums and your voice almost a whisper.

"We all come from an explosion in the sky. One day there was nothing and the next there was life. And all the rivers and the mountains and the sun and the moon. And then all of a sudden there's a cloud of doom'

As soon as the chorus strikes, the drums became more complicated, and your voice louder to compliment the beat. The room simultaneously jumped, as if they know the rhythm by heart.

"It's a trap, and there's no comfort fitting in. A fake safety that no one believes in And if it goes against who you think you are It's the death of happiness Go and get the crowbar"

As the song progresses, the crowd became more elated. More energetic, more electric. As a result, you did, too.

"We all fell down from a tired dying star,Star dust on the breeze to fuckin' pick an avatar. From nothing into all and then the next thing to arrive is the terrifying fear of how you're supposed to live your life"

The beginning second chorus invited a welcomed chaos that the audience was enjoying, not caring about anything but the sounds that you make.

"People everywhere will try to bring you down. Those jealous motherfuckers they will try and take your crown"

The instrumentals quited down a bit, leaving room for your emotions, anger and rage, to seep out of your voice like honey.

"It's easier for them to put you in a box, Keep you safely locked away because they hate it when the boat's rocked. But fuck 'em all, they don't tell us who we are. So when they try and lock you up, go and get the fucking crowbar!"

You bent your vocal chords, intentionally making it crack, nearly screaming, like you were hiding in something you'd rather be showing to the world. Of course, this was not the full extent of your vocal chords, but any louder and everyone in the block would have their eardrums bleeding. Lucky for them, you knew your limits and controlled it well.

The last bit of the song, you sang freely, the crowd turning into a moshpit, eventually melting into a pot of adrenaline, sweat and excitement.

Finishing the song, you let out a sigh of relief and a chuckle, "You guys are a fiesty bunch, aren't you?"

As the crowd of 200 roared, you continued to the next song, and the next, and the next, until the gig was over.

One person caught you attention at the corner of your eye. The sharp-featured man sat at the bar with a drink, wearing a black jacket and gloves. His hair was black or brown, depending on the light, tied to a messy bun. His eyes, however, were somewhat still a mystery. He had aviator sunglasses on, though it wasn't that dark a shade. It dark enough so the color of his eyes were hidden, but light enough for you to see the movement of his pupils, where your very motion seemed to act like a magnet to his sight. Something that disturbed you was that he was always there when you were performing, downing unholy amounts of alchohol, but somehow he didn't flinch. His posture indicated that he was always sober. He was alert, never slouched, not even for one second. As much as you tried to ignore him, you couldn't shake off the paranoia.

As your show ended and the band head off the stage to the back room, Lando whispered in your ear discreetly, "Meeting in the back room. Now."

You nodded ever so slightly, and replied, "give me 10 minutes."

And with that, Lando, Vince, and Luna went one way, and you a seperate route.

You made your way through the crowd as a another band took the stage, a thumping rythm accompanying your movements.

You quickly spot the man on the bar. He looks like he was going to leave after finishing his drink, but you swift take a seat on the bar stool next to him. You signal to the bartender and ordered, "two beers!" You exclaimed, handing him a few bucks, "One for me, and one for the gentlemen. Keep the change."

You delicately glanced at the man, who only raised his eyebrow in fascination. Before neither of you could say anything, the bartender slid the bottles your way.

You grabbed it both, and handed one over to the man, who graciously accepted your offer.

You took a sip, then turned to face him, "And does the gentlemen have a name?"

He hestitated, but told you, "James."

"James," you said, a forced sweetness coming out of your voice. You did not bother to introduce yourself. You figured if that if he's seen you perform, he must know your name."You look familiar," you continued, "Have you been at the Mermaid's Tail before?"

"A couple of times," he admitted, taking a sip on his own.

You weren't stupid, nor ignorant. You knew it was more than a couple of times. More like a couple dozen times, but you knew better than to confront him directly. You had to coax his intentions out of him in order to get the truth.

"You like the music?" You asked, and he shrugged, easing into the conversation.You noticed the charm hidden behind his secretive demeanor. "I like the atmosphere."

You didn't know if you should believe what he said, but decided to go along with it. Nodding a little, you chugged the beer until it was half empty and pretended to lose balance on the stool, dropping the rest of the beer on the floor. You let yourself fall into James' arms, propping yourself up, pretending to regain balance. James gently helped you, while you trace every inch of his clothing, trying to find a wallet or a phone— anything that could give you a clue about his identity, but frustratingly, you can't seen to find any. He either forgot everything at home, or was smart enough not to put important things in places where he could get picked. You had a feeling it was most likely the latter than the former.

He helped you back to the bar stool, both his hands on your hips, steadying you. You were aware of the inconsistency on his left grip, as if it was somehow more certain than his right. Unfortunately, his gloves kept you from getting more information.

You forced a chuckle, "sorry," you said, "the adrenaline's still pumping. Y'know, after a gig."

"S'okay," he let out a smile as if your display of joy was contagious.

"Well," you said finally, "I think my friends are waiting for me. See you around, James?"

He nodded sincerely, "See you around."

Turning around, you could feel his eyes linger on you as you disappeared into the crowd.

"There she is!" Vince, rolling his eyes, when you entered the back room, "Finally!"

Vince was on a chair, Luna on the table, and Lando had his eyes glued to his laptop screen, which was on the same table Luna was sitting on.

"Done flirting with mr. sunglasses indoors?" Luna laughed, but you just took the joke lightly and shook your head. "His name is James. And there's something weird about him."

"Besides wearing sunglasses indoors?" Luna taunted the obvious with a cheeky smile, and Vince smacked her upside in the head playfully. "He is sketchy. He's been going to our gigs here for months."

"Maybe he likes music," Vince suggested, "Did you pick his pocket?" He asked, knowing that pickpocketting was your usual method of finding out who people are.

"I tried. Found nothing," you said, a hint of defeat in your voice.

"That is sketchy," Luna agreed.

"Will you shut up!" Lando complained, "I'm working here!"

"Geez," Luna said, getting up from a table, and grabbing a briefcase from a cupboard, "Someone's sensitive." She opened the briefcase, revealing a gun in it. It was a glock 19x, which she and Vince modified specifically for stealth and tactical shooting. "Did you bring the bullet rounds?" She asked Vince. He replied by tossing her two rounds, which she prepared for use. It was always this way. Luna and Vince were the weapon specialists, Lando the tech genius, and you? You did all the dirty work by yourself.

You didn't mind, though. In fact, it was addicting.

"Yes!" Lando suddenly exclaimed. He stood up and faced you, "Suit up, (Y/n)," he said, "I found another lead on our guy."

You smirked, knowing what to do.

After all, you and your misfit friends were musicians by night, a vigilante team by midnight.

Taglist:

@thejourneyneverendsx @ispepeagain @magykal-777 @sfxsucker @justanothergirlwithdemons @ciochesono @allonszassbutt @hennessy0274-blog @chubby-dumplin @talk-geek-to-me @moli1497

Please let me know if I missed anyone!

#Bucky Barnes #bucky #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes imagines #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #bucky imagines #bucky x you

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infriga · 4 years ago

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Writer tag game

I was tagged by @novantinuum !

Author Name: I’m Infriga on tumblr but I go by Ppleater on AO3 because it’s a username I liked to use in the past lol.

Fandom(s) you write for: Steven Universe, Gravity Falls, and in the past I’ve also written one or two things for Red vs Blue, Gintama, Chuck, Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles, and SGA. Most of my older stuff is on FFN, where it will stay because it’s old and embarrassing lol. I want to write a One Piece fic some day but christ is it a hard fandom to write for. There are so many puzzle pieces and moving parts and layers to everything in the OP world that anything bigger than a oneshot is daunting. Also Luffy’s mind is an enigma so I can only imagine how difficult he’d be to write.

Where you post: AO3. I used to post on FFN years ago, but not anymore because let’s be honest, ffn kinda sucks in comparison.

Most popular one-shot: My RvB fic I guess. The long cliched title is Five Times Tucker Knew Church Was a Robot, And One Time He Forgot That Church Was Still Human. It’s not all that popular, but it got more attention than any of my older oneshots on FFN haha.

Most popular multi-chapter: My Gravity Falls fic about kid Stan and paranoid Ford, 1 Step Forward, 20 Years Back. It was my first multichapter fic, and boy was I floored by the response it got!

Favorite story you wrote: I’m really bad at picking favourites! I like both my GF fic 1 Step Forward, 20 Years Back, and my Steven Universe fic Aid to Navigation at the moment. They’re both more recent fics and I feel like I’ve shown the most improvement in writing both of them, which is part of why i like them more, but I like them both for different reasons so I can’t really choose between them.

Story you were nervous to post: Man I’m nervous posting everything I write lol. I guess I tend to be more nervous about my hurt/comfort stuff for some reason? Especially the hurt parts. Like the chapter where Stan gets thrown down the stairs by Bill in my GF fic, or the upcoming chapter 5 in my SU fic. I really enjoy writing that sort of stuff, and I love reading it even more, so I’m always a little like >:3c but I can be a wee bit sensitive about stuff I get really into writing because I’m invested in it so I’m also a little like <:3c every time, you know? Still, if there’s one thing I’ve learned by getting more involved in fandoms is that it can be worth it to just put stuff out there and own it even when I’m nervous about it, so I usually just force myself to press the post button before I can chicken out. It’s worked out pretty well for me so far.

How do you choose your titles? I’ve developed 2 main methods which, funnily enough, I used for my two recent multichapter fics.

Method 1 involves word play, such as using a pun or a saying that fits one of the themes of my fic, and I adjust it as needed it to match the story. I felt like the saying “1 step forward, 2 steps back” fit the whole portal confrontation in general, and Stan getting turned into a kid involves taking some pretty literal steps backwards, so I changed it to 20 years back to give it a de-aging spin and make it even more of a play on words. That one admittedly came pretty easy to me. I also came up with more puns,wordplay, and jokes for the chapter names to match.

Method 2 involves using symbolism. I like to figure out something I feel would be symbolic of my fic and I look for interesting and relevant terminology or topics related to whatever that symbol is. In Aid to Navigation I settled on lighthouses as the symbolic element because I felt it suited Steven’s character, since he lives on a beach, helps guide people, and literally glows. An aid to navigation is basically any structure that helps ships navigate on the ocean, which includes lighthouses in particular, and it felt really suitable for Steven’s character and the themes of the fic. Other terminology that popped up and caught my interest while looking into stuff related to lighthouses ended up serving as inspiration for the chapter names and some of the story progression.

Of course, sometimes a title just pops into my head automatically and I end up liking it right away, but that’s pretty rare lol.

How many of your stories are complete? 2 on AO3, my RvB oneshot and my GF fic, and an extra 7 oldy moldy ones on FFN which are all oneshots. I technically write more now than I used to, but while my word count has rised drastically the number of individual fics I’ve written isn’t too high yet. I just found I enjoy writing longer multichapter fics a lot.

In progress: Just Aid to Navigation at the moment. I’m the kind of person who usually likes to finish a writing project before moving to a new one.

Coming soon:

I’ve tried coming up with future projects but honestly it seems like I tend to just be sort of... Gripped with a sudden idea that just feels right. I always have tons of concepts I like, but most never actually become anything. Only a few strike me as something that I really want to turn into a story right away. I might make a series of connected oneshots for Aid to Navigation involving interactions and scenes that I couldn’t fit in due to there not being enough time to explore every character the way I wanted (like I wanted to write a scene with Lars and Steven for example, but it didn’t seem to fit anywhere), but beyond that I have no idea what I’ll end up writing.

Upcoming story you’re most excited to write: Do upcoming chapters of a current fic count? The chapters I felt most excited to write for Aid to Navigation are the next one which is already finished and awaiting the accompanying picture, titled “Red Sector”, and the following one after that, which will be titled “Leading Lights”. All I’ll say about them is that both types of lights serve as warnings.

Top five favorite authors:

I like so many damnit, it’s hard to choose!

I’ve loved everything I’ve read by @novantinuum

I’ve bookmarked a lot of GF fics by @impishnature

Same with @fanfoolishness and their SU fics

One Piece fics by @taizi are my favourites in the fandom

There’s probably more people I’m forgetting and if that’s the case I’m sorry and I love you all, but if anyone wants to see more authors I’ve read stuff by I have fic rec/fic recs/fanfic rec/fanfic recs tags (wish I could remember which one I use at a given time so I wasn’t so inconsistent about it otl. Someday when xkit is working again I’ll try to organise them better). Also I have like, 400+ bookmarks on AO3 that you can look through as well.

Tagging: Uh, I tag all the writers I mentioned above I guess, if they want to do it and if they haven’t done it already!

#tag meme #fic recs #writing #Steven Universe #Gravity Falls #I'm only gonna tag those two cause I aint tagging the rest of the stuff i've written for lol

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alexannah · 5 years ago

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MLB Rewatch: Simon Says

The first time I’ve done a rewatch post on a season one episode. Gasp!

Okay, so Simon Says (or Jackady, depending on which dub you watch) is my favourite episode of the first season. I am going to begin by summing up the many reasons why:

· Gabriel hugging Adrien for the first time (more on that below);

· The more layers and significance so much of the episode gains after you’ve seen season two (ditto);

· The first proper Ladrien interaction;

· The shower thing;

· The episode that makes me question how on earth it took me SO long to wonder if Gabriel was Hawk Moth*;

· The timing of character movements, which holds much amusement by imagining what is NOT shown.

(*To be fair, I immediately guessed he was involved somehow, but the thought of him actually being Hawk Moth didn’t cross my mind until about my fourth viewing of the season. At the point when it finally occurred to me to think, “I wonder if we’ve seen Hawk Moth as a civilian in the show already?”. It didn’t take me long to make the connection, which was based as much on his eye colour and shape of his face as it was his obvious interest in the Miraculouses. Some time after seeing season two, I re-read a plan of one of my pre-watching-season-two fanfics, which featured the line “Mr Agreste explains his involvement with the Miraculouses (whatever it is)”. I haven’t decided if I’ll ever write up and post that particular fic, but if I do it will be updated in certain areas.)

“I’ve never noticed your earrings before,” he interrupts her to say. Subtle, Gabriel. Really subtle.

And that is definitely the look of an innocent person who’s just been saved from a supervillain.

It’s the first episode in which we get to see Gabriel act like a human being, in the moment he hugs Adrien. Especially priceless after the way he behaves up until that point. It’s the moment when, watching the show for the first time, I realised that he actually did love Adrien after all.

Anyone who follows me will be WELL aware that I am a Gabriel fan, but it took me a long time to become one. He started to grow on me a short while after I’d seen season two; until then, I really didn’t like him much at all. But I stopped actually hating him when I saw that moment for the first time. (Now, he’s my second-favourite character, after Nathalie. Though he’s not the main subject of this entire post …)

After The Collector, obviously certain episodes of season one are watched in a new light—for instance, it’s fair to assume that Gabriel deliberately provokes people where he can in order to create negative emotions that he can exploit. In the instance of Simon Says, it could just have easily been Alec instead who was akumatized, if he had taken the insult to heart—Gabriel probably wasn’t aiming specifically for Simon.

(Even that chair swivel away from the portrait holds so much more meaning now!)

And although it’s clear that Alec is, well, not the most sensitive or respectful guy, it occurred to me for the first time that he probably didn’t contact Gabriel under false pretences as Gabriel claims. Gabriel says “I was told this was an interview”, but he has already, as Hawk Moth, demonstrated that he is aware of the TV show—and André Bourgeois clearly knew what he was getting into. If someone working on the show had spoken to Gabriel in person and explained, then Gabriel would not have got away with this, since they would have known he was lying. But if they had spoken to Nathalie instead, then he can get away with pretending to have been misinformed. (Blame the assistant. Sorry, Nathalie.)

Speaking of Nathalie …

We’ve seen in Félix that she could easily have taken on those hypnotised people who came in to grab Gabriel (for that matter, he probably could have as well; I know we haven’t seen him demonstrate combat skills as a civilian, but I’m sure he has some), but instead she chooses to hide. (With quite a fierce expression, I must say.) Which means that being taken to the studio was obviously part of Gabriel’s plan, which he says himself is “risky”. I have to wonder what his backup plan was; if Simon Says had not been de-akumatized, if he had actually got the Miraculouses, then Gabriel himself would have been faced with the options of plunging to his death or exposing his identity by transforming into Hawk Moth on the way down. I’ve said many times that Gabriel has an “act now, think later” problem, but I’m also now wondering if Nathalie was keeping a close eye somehow, ready to jump in if things got too risky. Though where she was, and how quickly she could have stopped him jumping, I don’t know …

Moving on from my precious villains now. (Mostly.)

I have to laugh at Simon Says’ cards. First of all, there’s the fact that when he turns people into “soldiers”, they act like zombies; yet that can’t just be because they’re hypnotised, because the other commands don’t work like that. So inconsistency there.

But of course the best ones are the ones which take on a whole new significance when rewatched in context. I didn’t get into the online fandom until after Miracle Queen had been released in English, so it wasn’t until then that I discovered the fandom name for Adrien’s bodyguard.

That makes me laugh every time—but not as much as Gabriel being a butterfly! I remember almost choking with laughter the first time I saw that after having seen The Collector, because it wasn’t until then that I got it. (No, I did not notice the hint all those times I watched that episode very closely when trying to figure out if Gabriel was Hawk Moth or not. It was the fact that it’s the only episode in which Hawk Moth does not do an ending monologue from his lair which was what made me 99% convinced.)

It’s so much fun going through episodes and pausing to get screenshots, because you notice things you might not see when watching it all the way through …

He’s finally starting to look worried here. “Oh, now you agree it was a bad idea?” I can hear Nathalie saying.

Also, the zombies are cross-eyed.

Apologies if this hasn’t been the most well-structured post! As often with these things, I write the post, then look for accompanying screenshots, and discover extra bits to add in while doing so, which can jar the flow a bit.

#mlb #miraculous ladybug #miraculous lb #miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #simon says #jackady #mlb simon says #mlb jackady #miraculous simon says #miraculous jackady #mlb episode simon says #mlb episode jackady #gabriel agreste #hawk moth

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talpup · 5 years ago

Text

Light In the Darkness: 26

Please remember this fic is rated mature and has warnings of violence, abuse, sexual tension, eventual sexual behavior, and other possible triggers.

***If you prefer reading off AO3 here’s the link for that: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887595/chapters/56574517

I've tried to segment the chapters in this fic in days. But because this and the next one are kind of short they’ve been posted together.

You all are killing me with love. THANK YOU so much for your comments. It makes my heart so happy to know you are enjoying the unedited mess that is this fic. This fic has so many original characters and 'slice of life' moments that I was sure no one would like it, let alone stick with it. But here you all are asking and waiting patiently for more. Light In the Darkness was the first fanfic I ever wrote/started, before then all my stuff was original content. Because of that this fic holds a special place in my heart. Long as it is, it WILL get finished. THANKS again!!!

Taglist: @captncappuccino .

26.1

As the Black Bulls prepared to leave for the Azure Deers base for Julius’ birthday party, Venice watched Teris wrap Julius’ present in a silken cloth.

Looking to make sure the others weren’t paying attention Venice commented. “You’ve been busy the past few days.”

“Is there a question somewhere in there?” Teris asked. “Hand.”

Venice placed a staying hand on the fabric while her friend wrapped and tied a ribbon in place. “Where have you been going? And don’t tell me you can’t tell me.”

Teris glanced at Venice and then to the bow she had made and sat back sighing. Dissatisfied she untied the ribbon, pulling it free. “Can you help.”

Venice pulled the fabric and gift toward her holding out a hand. “Give me the ribbon.”

“Thank you. And you know where I’ve been going. You’ve voiced your displeasure over it often enough these past few days.”

“So Mister Royalty found something, did he?” Venice grumbled as she used her magic, a mirror appearing and hovering over the table.

“I can’t tell you anything more.” Teris said lowering her voice. “You know why so quit pressuring me.”

“Yami doesn’t like it.” Venice said glancing at him before calling up an image of a perfectly wrapped present of the same size as the box before her in the mirror.

Teris’ eyes slid over to Yami who sat at the first seating arrangement his back to her. Even if Yami saw still speaking to her, she didn’t see why her actions would upset him. Even so, she said. “If he doesn’t like it he can tell me himself. Besides,” she shrugged turning back to Venice, “he doesn’t seem to like much of anything these days.”

“That’s because of you and how much time you’re spending with Nozel. There.” Venice smiled sitting back, allowing the mirror to disappear. “Perfect.”

“This has nothing to do with him,” Teris said.

“Ever since you came back you and Nozel have been chummy.”

“Isn’t that what you’re suppose to be with your friends?” Teris questioned.

“You weren’t that way with him before you left.” Venice told putting her elbows on the table, resting her head in her hands.

“And Yami was speaking to me and all around acting as if I existed before he left.” Teris snipped. “Things change. Besides, I thought you’d be happy Nozel and I finally made peace. You said my constant ire around him was--” Teris looked up thinking, “what did you call it again?”

“A petty, tiring, annoyance that you had to grow out of if you hoped to be Knights Commander one day.” Venice supplied. “But I didn’t mean make peace with him so soon or so quickly. What happened between you two back home?”

“Nothing,” Teris said. She heaved a sigh and admitted. “I came face to face with a woman I had thought and hoped I’d never seen again. Realized just how serious my brother was in trying to force me to a better royal lady. So when fate intervened I took my chance to prove to Fyntch that he didn’t require the cruel fan of that horrible woman. That I could act the part of suitable young royal on my own. In doing so I saw just how much easier somethings were when I did what was expected.” Teris didn’t mention the dressing down she had gotten from Nozel that second night when he confronted her about her inconsistent treatment of him. In truth she was embarrassed, not by Nozel’s censure but by the spiteful childishness of her past behavior.

“So you are playing the part of infatuated Intended.” Venice accused.

“No!” Teris said much more loudly then intended. Grimacing slightly at the stares she lowered her voice and went on. “I most definitely am not. All I’m saying is that I learned some things about myself and grew. In more ways then adding a simple number to my age. You should be proud instead of hassling me about inconsequential things that bare no standing and don’t exist.

“You’ve been going over to the Silver Eagles base everyday for the past fours days seems pretty sequential and real to me.” Venice told.

Teris ran a hand over her face sighing. “I already told--”

“Venice.” Jax said standing over the two girls. “Leave Teris alone. She’s working on something that doesn’t involve you.”

“But--” Venice tired only to fall silent at her Captains darkening expression.

“Do I have to remind you, she out ranks you now?” Jax questioned. He looked to Teris. “She bugs you again about your search you order her to be silent. Need I remind either of you what Commander Greywright ordered you to do if someone so much as hints at what the two of you are so opening skirting around?”

Both girls lowered their heads.

“Chin up ladies.” Jax soothed. “You’re not in trouble. Yet. See it stays that way.”

“Ready to go, Captain?” Bronn asked coming over.

“Sure.” Jax said giving Teris and Venice a small smirk.

Bronn turned, opening up a gateway to the Azure Deers base.

As the Black Bulls filed through Yami saw their Captain hold up a staying hand to Teris. He slowed his pace wondering what Jax wanted with her but was pushed roughly through the gateway by Bronn.

Teris looked from her Captain to the portal and back again nervously. “Sir?”

Jax gave Bronn a look.

The Vice Captain caught the silent order and closed the gateway.

Looking back to Teris, Jax told. “You have to be much more careful then what you’ve been. Four days in a row to the Silver Eagles base. Whether Nozel is your Intended or not, no amount of acting will make anyone who knows you believe you’re there just for a friendly visit.”

Teris’ face flinched at the mild scolding. “Sorry, sir. I’ll do better and be more careful.”

Jax gave a nod satisfied then said. “It must have been something of significance your royal friend found.”

“It was.” Teris said brightening.

“Good.” The Black Bulls Captain smiled at her clear excitement. Jax was just happy the girl had found something and he wouldn’t have to keep his word to her on going against orders and giving her answers himself. His smile fell as he declared. “You can’t go back for at least a week.”

Teris looked up at her Captain in shock and desperation.

Jax took a step toward Bronn signally the Vice Captain he was ready to go. “And another thing.” He told Teris. “I forgot to get your brother a gift. The one you’re holding is from me as well. Remind me to pay you for part of it when we return.”

26.2

Julius was there greeting the Black Bulls when Jax, Bronn, and Teris stepped through the portal, Bronn closing it behind them.

“Thank you for coming.” Jon said as he made his way to the Black Bulls.

Venice skipped to her boyfriend and latched onto his arm. “We’re gonna go over here.” She said to anyone listening as she pulled Jon along with her.

“Venice. I have guests to greet.” Jon protested.

“Why?” Venice asked. “It’s not your party.”

“Yes it is.” Jon told her.

Venice looked from Julius back to Jon. “I thought it was for your Captain's birthday.”

“But I planned it and invited everyone.” Jon told trying to pull his arm free.

“Give it up man.” Bronn said slapping the Vice Captain heartily on the back. “The girl’s gonna get her way eventually. All you’re gonna do is aggravate her if you make her work too hard. Thanks, by the way, for letting me invite Gilly. Has she arrived yet?”

“I saw her speaking with Fragil over by one of the gaming tables.” Julius supplied.

“I don’t like the idea of her and that Snow Queen talking. That Ice Princess of yours never liked me much, Julius.”

“Fragil isn’t mine, nor is she an Ice Princess.” Julius countered.

“She’s a member of your squad right?”

“Yes.”

“Then she’s yours.” Bronn said and left in search of Gilly.

Teris handed Julius his gift as she passed. “Happy Birthday.”

Julius looked down at the present and then up at his sister as she walked away. “Thanks.” He called after her uncertainly.

From beside Julius, Jax pointed at the fabric wrapped box. “That’s from us actually.”

Julius looked over at the Captain brows furrowing. “You went halfies with my sister on a gift? What are you? Her best friend?”

“No,” Jax said. “I’m yours. And I didn’t have the time or desire to go looking for something to get you.”

Julius looked after his sister. “From what I’ve heard, neither has she. Four days in a row visiting Nozel at the Silver Eagles base. What’s going on between those two?”

“You were with the two of them for three days back at Nova House,” Jax said. “You tell me.”

Julius looked at his friend. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t have to do with the annual meeting between the Silva’s and Nova’s. If it were I’d know.”

Jax rolled his eyes. “Cause you’re so aware of your sisters everyday life. But no. It’s definitely not what everyone else seems to be thinking. Thankfully.”

“Because for some strange reason you care about my sisters relationship with Nozel or because no one knows what they’re really doing?”

Jax looked over at Yami, he could tell the boy was keenly aware of Teris but avoided her and acted as if she weren’t present. “For the sake of my squad and base. Both.”

26.2.2

Mereoleona arrived with Fuegoleon. Leaving her younger brother to find his friends she made you way to Julius and Jax.

“From the Vermilion's. She said passing the Azure Deer Captain a decorative box. “Happy thirtieth.

“Where’s the rest of your squad?” Julius asked.

“The invitation was for Leon and I alone,” Mereoleona said.

“I’m sorry. I’ll have a word with Jon about that.”

She patted Julius’ shoulder. “No need to. Everyone’s likely to have a better time without them if all the Black Bulls are here.”

Julius turned to Jax. “How exactly did your whole squad get invited when only Leona and Leon were?”

Jax shrugged. “I don’t bother with who invitations are addressed to. I bring who I want.”

“Figures.” Mereoleona huffed. “And something I should take up doing. Where’s your sorry excuse for a Vice Captain?”

“Somewhere with his girl I suppose. Need me to yell for him?”

“No.” Mereoleona snapped. “I was hoping you’d say he wasn’t here. Be easier to avoid his ill nature that way.”

“You’re too easy, Leona.” Jax smirked.

Mereoleona’s lips twitched in a snarl. “I don’t know what you mean but I assure you, it’s not true.”

“That all I need to anger and offend you is call Bronn over. Yes. I do that it is quite true.” Jax teased, pretending he hadn’t seen her blush.

Mereoleona huffed, shoulders easing in relief.

“You really can be rather hot tempered.” Julius agreed.

“And given your fire magic, that’s just cliche. Jax added.

“Both of you, shut up. Before I burn you to a crisp.”

“You going to open your presents?” Jax asked turning to Julius.

“Yes.” Mereoleona encouraged.

“Interested to see what you got me?” Julius asked.

“I know what I got you.” Mereoleona snipped.

“Not you.” Julius told the Crimson Lions Captain. “Jax edged in on Teris’ gift. Seems my greatest friend didn’t have the time or inclination to get me a gift of his own. That’s if he even remember my birthday.”

Mereoleona looked at Jax and shook her head. “That’s just sad.”

“Shut up.” Jax turned to Julius and said. “Open mine first.”

Julius handed him the box Mereoleona had given him and pulled the ribbon allowing the fabric to fall open. Opening the small box he reveled a pair of gold sleeve cuffs. Pulling on the tie binding them together, Julius held one of them up to better see the etching. A smile crept onto his face, eyes dancing in delight. Looking at the two other Captains he said. “They’re pressed with the numerals that surround my time magic spheres.”

“Wow.” Jax said taking the other one from the box and inspecting it. “I mean, here Leona. Look in awe at what I got Julius.”

Mereoleona didn’t need to look. Instead she ordered Jax to hand Julius the gift from her family. Jax did and watched as Julius opened.

His smiled grew, eyes crinkling, as he looked inside and then up at his distant cousin. “This is too much.” He protested lamely.

“What is it?” Jax asked trying to look in the box.

“As I said when I first handed it to you, It’s from the Vermilion's.” Mereoleona reminded. “Besides, you only turn thirty once. And,” she shrugged as shoulder, “it doesn’t hurt to suck up to the future Wizard King.”

“What is it?” Jax asked more forcefully.

“It’s a matching ring,” Mereoleona said. “My father and mother left it all up to me, as if I’d had a clue. I went to Teris. Apparently she had commissioned the entire set months ago. I managed to convince her it was too much, even for her questionably favored brother, and she allowed me to pay for and pick up the ring.”

“So you edged in on the girls gift too.” Jax declared pointing. “And here you were giving me a hard time.”

Mereoleona turned to the Black Bulls Captain. “Have you even paid the her for your share of the gift?”

Jax ignored her and turned back to Julius asking. ” So, how do you like your gifts?”

Julius smiled at his two friends.

“I think he’s gonna hug us.” Mereoleona whispered to Jax out of the side of her mouth.

“I think you’re right.” Jax agreed, slowly backing up.

Mereoleona shoved Jax forward and turned running away. “Not it!”

26.2.3

Jax noted Pyter arrive with his entire squad of Silver Eagles. Leaning over the refreshment table he whispered loudly to Mereoleona. “I know for a fact Jon didn’t invite all of them.” He looked back and shook his head. “Some people are so impertinent.”

“You brought your entire squad without each of them being invited.” Mereoleona deadpanned.

“I did that for Teris. The girl would be in want for anyone to talk to with just us higher ranked older folk. Besides, as Julius best friend I’m allowed.” He stepped closer to Mereoleona. “He’s coming this way. Quick! Act natural.”

She looked down her nose at the Black Bulls Captain. “You’re the one acting a fool.”

“Ah. Jax is acting true to form I see.” Pyter smiled having heard Mereoleona’s words.

“Where’s your gift?” Jax questioned.

“I didn’t realize one was required as price for admission.” Pyter said keeping his ever present smirk that made it seem as if there was always some secret joke playing out in his head.

“Not required, but it is a birthday party,” Jax said.

“One that you would also have shown up empty handed to if it wasn’t for--”

“Who’s side are you on?” Jax wondered, cutting through Mereoleona’s words.

“I came here to enjoy myself. Not referee.” Mereoleona said. As she turned and walked away she called over her shoulder. “You boys have fun.”

“I think I’ll find somewhere shady to sit.” Jax said taking up his plate and drink wanting to get away from the Silver Eagles Captain.

“Hold up.” Pyter said turning to follow. Once far enough away from any others he told Jax. “You and I have somethings we need to discuss.”

“Did we now?” Jax asked, looking uncomfortable.

“You’re little Light Bug has been spending quite a bit of time at my base of late.”

“Haven’t really noticed.” Jax said taking a long quaff of mead.

“Either you’re a worse Captain than even I imagined or you’re lying.” Pyter smiled. “I think it’s the later.”

“Yeah, well I think you’re an arrogant, smirking fool who needs that smile wiped permanently off your ugly face but...” Jax shrugged.

Pyter looked at him like one would a cute but temperamental child. “Maybe you aren’t the one I should have tired to speak to. Maybe I should speak to Sir Jorah about this instead.”

Jax tensed, the plate he held between his fingers cracking.

Pyter kept his eyes on Jax. “You know. In case she’s changed her mind and wishes to join the the Silver Eagles.” Pyter went on. “I mean, what other reason would Teris have for all but living at my base these past four days?”

Jax looked down at the web of hairline fractures he had left on the plate. “I don’t know if you’re fishing or trying to torment but I’m not having it. I’m only telling you this once Pyter so listen well. Leave Teris Nova alone. If you’re somehow incapable of doing that, you and I will exchanging much more than words when next we meet.”

Pyter laughed. “Protective. I suppose it’s only natural. She is the best thing the Black Bulls have seen in… Well, ever. Her and that foreign boy both. Though let’s face it. He doesn’t really count.”

“Why wouldn’t he count?”

“Besides,” Pyter went on as if Jax spoken, “she is your best friends little sister. I guess it’s expected that you’d feel required, by some sort of archaic code of friendship, to protect her.”

“I suppose you’d have to have a friend to understand.” Jax put in.

Pyter sobered. “Keep your charge home and away from my base. If I learn she’s been in my library again I will not hesitate to go straight to Sir Jorah himself.”

Jax sneered. “You always were a--”

Pyter held up a finger. “Careful. I could still go to him now.”

“And tell him what? That she’s been visiting her Intended? I’m sure the Nova’s and Silva’s would appreciate you dissuading Teris from finally accepting the inevitable and allowing Nozel to pay court.”

“In the library?”

“Where would you expect two young, ambitious Magic Knights to spend their time? Surely Nozel gets enough sparing time with you and his comrades.”

“Why don’t I just tell Commander Greywright and let him decide if he wishes to question them.” Pyter suggested.

“Sounds like you’re suddenly unsure of yourself. You went from going directly to Sir Jorah to mentioning it to Greywright.

“Mention what to me?” Greywright asked coming around the tree.

Both me started.

“Eavesdropping is unbecoming and downright rude.” Jax snapped.

“Don’t care. I gather quite a bit of information eavesdropping.” Greywright told. “Mention what to me?”

“Going in on a gift for Julius.” Pyter said glancing at Jax.

“Isn’t it a bit late for that?”

“One would think.” Jax said, picking up Pyter’s thread. “But since he’s likely the future Wizard King and he’ll only turn thirty once. It doesn’t hurt to kiss up.” Jax looked at the two men cursing Mereoleona who had made it sound so reasonable when she had said it.

“Anyway,” Pyter said giving Jax a pointed look, “as you said, it’s a bit late for such ideas. Still, Jax persisted and finally suggested asking you.”

Eyebrows furrowing, Greywright looked at the Black Bulls Captain speculatively. “Why me?”

“Why would one think of giving a gift for the reason he stated, never mind a belated one?” Pyter shrugged sighing as if Jax and his notions were but foolish, child-like burdens they all had to bare.

The Magic Knights Commander stared at Jax a moment before saying. “It would have been a nice idea if it was presented sooner. I likely would have wanted in on it. But it’s too late for it now.”

Jax glared at Pyter and nodded. The Silver Eagles Captain had made him look a fool but at least he hadn’t mentioned anything to Knights Commander. Much as he didn’t like it, he would take it.

26.3

It was the start of a new month. Teris made her way downstairs hoping against hope that November would bring a start of normalcy in regards to Yami. As if her thoughts had called him from the ether he turned a corner and came down the hall from the opposite direction.

As they passed each other Teris greeted. “Morning, Yami.”

Her words were so nonchalant Yami caught himself almost returning the greeting. Clenching his jaw he bolstered his will that had begun to wane over the past two days and continued on.

Having had enough Teris gathered her courage and spun around. “Can you at least tell me what I did!”

Yami paused, shoulders tensing. Even with her Ki hidden from him Yami knew exactly what she was feeling, her anger and hurt clearly evident in her voice.

Her pain and anger grated. What right did she have to feel such things? He hadn’t led her on. He hadn’t lie to her about being practically engaged to someone. The image of Nozel with his cool, haughty, ice colored eyes can to mind. His hand made a fist of it’s own accord. He wanted to punch that expression right off his perfect royal face. He wanted to grab that stupid braid that hung over his stupid face and pull it out by the roots.

“You know what you did.” He rumbled.

“No. I don’t.” Teris took a couple steps to him and reached a hand tentatively out. As if burned she pulled back before touching him. “Yami, please! Talk to me. Look at me. I honestly don’t know what I’ve done to make you like this. It’s—it’s as if you hate me.”

His breathed hitched. He had tried to hate her. It would be so much easier if he could. But no matter how much the secret she had kept hurt or Bronn’s truth crushed, he still loved her. Still wanted to be with her. Still wanted to wed her. To call her his and have her call him hers.

Even if he was unable to hate her, he thought it’d be better for the both of them if she believed he did and so he said. “Despite your claim to know nothing you are perceptive enough to surmise the truth.”

Teris fell back a step. Even with a part of her having felt as if he hated her, she had refused to give such a notion room to breath and infect her. After all they had been through. With all that still surrounded the two of them. With the way he had been before. After she had just begun to admit to herself that she loved him. After all that, for him to confirm and all but say that he hated her. She couldn’t believe it. She refused to believe it. This wasn’t Yami. Not the Yami she had grown to love despite her continuous efforts not to.

Teris watched him walk away having never given her a glance and told herself that as much as it hurt this was what was best. She might never know what had happened to cause such a change, but did it really matter. She had fought against his pursuit, against her own growing feelings, for a reason. If she hoped to prove herself useful enough to the Clover Kingdom so as not to be banished when she refused to wed who her brother demanded she had to focus on becoming Knights Commander. Yami, friendships, even the mess that tied Yami and her together had to be left by the wayside. She had to be single minded in her pursuit, like Julius.

She gave Yami one last look as he turned and headed upstairs. Comrades. That’s all they were now. That’s all they ever should have been. She might not like it. But for the sake of her life, here in the Clover Kingdom, she could make herself live with it. It wasn’t as if Yami had given her much of a choice anyway.

26.4

“Out.” Yami ordered as he stormed into the boys wing.

Bran looked up and hurriedly obeyed.

“And don’t go messing with my Saber Wolf.” Yami yelled after him.

Yami felt restless. He needed to get away. He needed to be free from wherever Teris was. He needed to be released from the shackles he tied around himself whenever she was near. It was killing him. Denying himself of her nearness. The feel of her. Closing himself off to her was proving to be the hardest thing he had even been through or attempted. She was like the sun and without it, without her, he was shriveling to nothing inside.

He would take Pilfer out for a ride. The two of them would benefit from some air. Decided he made his way to his room. He had to deal with this first. Payday. He had been dreading it. Funny. In all his life he had never been apprehensive about receiving money. Back home and during his days struggling with his friends or alone on the beach, he had been concerned about not having any or if he would earn enough to get what he needed to survive. His past self never would’ve believed that one day he would curse the thought of incoming funds.

As expected, thanks to his promotion, the pouch this month was heavier then last months. Which left him with even more to think about. Since his first payday as a Magic Knight, Yami had put aside a portion of his money to save up for a gift for Teris. Not long after, he had even known exactly what that gift would be and an idea at how much it would cost to commission such a piece. He had figured that if he saved up so much every payday he would have enough to pay a proper smith for what he wanted in three, possibly two in a half years if he put some extra aside every now and again. But since returning from the Wild Fire missions Yami had purposefully avoided all thought of it. He had taken October’s pay and done what he pleased with it, which had been get drunk and gamble it away. He was tempted to do that again. He was tempted to take everything he had saved and waste it on ale and gaming. Disgusted with himself and the whole matter entirely he released the spell he had put over the corner floor board and popped the wooden slate up. Without looking he dropped the pouch with this months payment of service in and replaced the board, recasting the spell. Let tomorrows him deal with what to do, he was going out for a ride.

26.5

Nozel put down the quill and rubbed his eyes. He had been spending every waking free hour he had in the library either copying the book Teris had been so interested in or searching the shelves for books that contained any mention of the words she had given him back at Nova House. It had been seventeen days since he had last seen her, but who was counting. Eighteen since they had been together alone. Stretching out his back he looked about the room. His mind saw her in areas she had been. Whether sitting, standing, reading, or talking with him, his mind had recorded it all for later enjoyment.

He reached into his breast pocket and pulled out her latest letter to him, dated October twenty-third.

Nozel,

I attempted to pay you call today but was caught leaving by my Captain. He still refuses to allow me to return to your base. When I asked when he’d allow me to go he said never. According to him we have your Captain to thank for this decision. In any case, it may be for the best. I never liked involving you and this forces me to stand by that and not rely on your assistance. You can be certain that if another book like the one you had shown me exists I will find it and continue with my efforts. Be grateful. Your time is once again your own. Get out. Enjoy some fresh air. Stay out of the library.

See you around my Friend.

Nozel looked at the words and sighed. He was sure Captain Pyter had did it for his and his squads benefit given that if Teris and his search were learned of his Captain and squad would be under scrutiny as well. Just because he understood his Captains reasoning didn’t mean he liked it any better. Closing his eyes he brought the missive to his nose and breathed in the faintest scent of rosemary and mint. It was so faint that part of him wondered if Teris’ scent truly clung to the letter or if it was his imagination. Angry with the critical side of his mind ruining the moment he folded the missive and put it back in his pocket.

Searching for a second copy of the book may have been easier then copying the whole thing by hand, it certainly would have been easier on his wrist and fingers, but it would also drawn more attention. His Captain and Teris were right to be concerned and want him far from her search but as her Intended and as her friend Nozel refused to stand back and not be of assistance.

#black clover #yami sukehiro #julius novachrono #nozel silva #mereoleona vermillion

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zombiequincy · 5 years ago

Text

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela AGE: 21 CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR: I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc.

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?: YES / NO only by Mutuals?: YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?: YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?: YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry)

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER: i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?: i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?: i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise !

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?: YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !!

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS: OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!!

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE: hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?: EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?: angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?: YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?: theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?: YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation.

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?: YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU: MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship — MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?: uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?: to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?: appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?: a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?: women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?: politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?: her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?: transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?: the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?: if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @bazzardburner cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu @blooming5th @viciousvizard @glacies-tempestatem and whoever else wishes to do this!!

#dash games #// this took ages....

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