#I’m sobbing why does nothing show uP IN THE T A G S

[nyan-ryder]

Hi, I’m Nyan, and my Showdown Bandit hyperfixation is making tumblr hate me

[seita]

— mood consequence | m.

pairing : iwaizumi/reader

wordcount : 2.127

genre : fluff, smut, pwp

cw : established relationship

tags : mean!iwa, daddy kink, dirty talk, name calling, degredation, size kink, no prep, clit spanking, overstimulation, squirting, creampie, a bit of aftercare.

note : this is my part of the haikyuu headquarters nsfw server collab!

collab masterlist.

+ summary : your boyfriend is in a bad mood and decides to use you as a source of release.

To the untrained eye, Iwaizumi looked unbothered. But after years of dating him, you could tell something was bothering him. His shoulders were tense and he was sitting straight up in his seat with his hands fisted against his thighs. He kept his gaze trained outside, watching the people pass by on the street with his jaw tense and set. The muscles in his face twitched every once in a while as he listened to the conversation floating back and forth over the table.

You made it a point to ignore him and his bad mood. But you weren’t sure if Oikawa, Matsukawa, or Hanamaki even noticed it.

Prior to leaving for dinner, he had come home in a terrible mood. You reminded him that the two of you promised to have dinner with your friends.

“Why couldn’t you have reminded me yesterday?!” he had snapped, tossing his jacket haphazardly onto the bed, leaving you to quickly pick it up and hang it properly so it wouldn’t get wrinkled, “I really don’t want to go.”

You told him that there were reservations and that it was Hanamaki’s birthday dinner. He continued to complain the entire time you were getting ready, snapping at you when you were a few minutes late to putting on your shoes -- leaving him waiting by the door until you came running down the stairs mumbling apologies.

The entire drive to the restaurant was tense and uncomfortable, leaving him in an even worse mood and only serving to tick you off.

As you sat down in your chair, pulled out by Matsukawa, you decided to make a point of ignoring your boyfriend as much as you could without ruining the dinner for the others.

A few drinks were down and you found yourself laughing and talking excitedly with Hanamaki who was telling you about some job interviews he had lined up.

Iwaizumi watches out of the corner of his eye as you and his friend have a nice time. Matsukawa and Oikawa are lost in their own conversation, leaving Iwaizumi quietly sitting beside the window. For a moment, you forget about the fact he’s angry and on edge - instead listening to Makki talk about his goals.

You completely miss the dark look in your boyfriend's eye as he downs over half of his beer in one sitting.

The ride back home is just as tense as it was there. His knuckles are white as he grips the steering wheel, jaw still set hard as he stares ahead at the road. You choose to ignore it, gazing out the window at the passing scenery.

He doesn’t let you ignore it for long, however. You step into your apartment, shutting the door while he lingers on the stoop, smoking a cigarette.

He bounces on his heels at the cold, free hand shoved into his jeans pockets as he sees you flick on the lights inside. The nicotine does nothing to settle his bad mood.

In fact, the time alone allows him to replay the entire dinner over in his head. From the way you had leaned in to let Makki whisper something in your ear that, for some reason, had you near tears from laughing to the seemingly innocent hand that rested on the pink haired man’s shoulder as you spoke to him. Logically, he knew that you knew nothing by it -- you weren’t attracted to Hanamaki. However, the already bad mood that festered for far too long threw all logical reasoning out the window and he settled on punishing his little brat.

You hear the apartment door open and close, followed by his huffing and muttering as he kicks his shoes off and hangs his coat up properly before making his way to the bedroom.

You hummed innocently, slipping a soft, worn t-shirt of his over your head. you quickly caught him standing in the doorway and you gave him a little smile.

“Are you ready for bed?” you ask, frowning when he didn't respond.

Instead, he worked on stripping himself of his jeans and button-down. His back was to you and he could see the way you watched him in the mirror, eyeing the flex of the muscles in his back as he moved.

“You seemed awfully close with Hanamaki tonight,” he muttered, internally cringing at the words.

You immediately met his gaze in the glass, frowning. The confusion and innocence in your gaze was genuine but it still ticked him off. It wasn't your fault that he was in a rotten mood and looking for a fight.

“Well, I mean,” you shrug, keeping your voice calm in hopes of settling him down, “We’re all friends. It was his birthday, should I have ignored him all evening?”

You giggle, the teasing lilt in your tone finally breaking him. He spun around, taking two long strides towards you before his hand was suddenly wrapped around your throat.

You gasped and looked up at him with wide eyes, mouth agape. The fiery behind his gaze had your own body heating up and you immediately knew that it was going to be a long night.

“I want you naked with your legs open for me,” he hissed, “right now.”

You nodded, quickly yanking your shirt over your head, flushing as you felt the heated gaze on your breasts. You let yourself fall back on the bed, hooking your thumbs into the band of your panties to push them off of your thighs.

As soon as you were naked, you let your legs fall open. He hums, staring at your folds before licking his lips.

You really were so pretty. So soft looking. Already your little cunt was getting wet for him, your folds parting to give him a teasing glimpse of the sensitive little clit and pretty hole he loved to torment.

“Open yourself for me, show me that slutty cunt,” he orders, grinning when you immediately do as you're told.

You lift your thighs, knees pressed to your chest so you could reach beneath them and part your folds with two fingers. Being exposed under his intense gaze had you trembling, but he could see the way your cunt clenched around nothing, drooling slick.

“I wonder what he’d do if he knew you were here with me right now…” he crawls onto the bed, resting on his knees between your spread legs, “spread out like this for me, looking like a little whore. Hm? Do you think he’d like that?”

You whine, watching as he tugs the band of his boxers down to free his cock. It slaps against his stomach, making his body shudder at the feeling. The veins in his arm and hand bulge as he wraps his fist around his cock, languidly stroking himself to the sight of you holding your cunt open for him.

“D-Don’t want to think about him, Daddy,” you whisper, biting your lip, “Only want you.”

He groans at the way the name slides off of your tongue, so sweet and pretty. Your words have him grinning, pride and possessiveness intermingling to drive him forward. He taps the head of his cock against your clit and you gasp at the feeling.

“Is that so?” he asks, teasing. His gaze is glued to your pussy, watching as he drags the head of his cock through your folds - from your entrance up to your clit.

“Oh, Daddy…” you coo, growing lax against the bed as he plays with the little bud like that - stroking it back and forth with the smooth skin of his cock.

“You're so wet, do you hear that?” he asks, humming when he prods your entrance again just to hear the lewd, slick sounds.

“'S all for you, Daddy,” you pant, biting your lip.

He nods, “That’s right, baby. But,” he sighs and begins to prod the little hole, slowly pushing inside.

Your eyes grow wide and you squeal, “Wait! Daddy! ‘S too big!”

He grins, watching your eyes grow glassy with unshed tears at the burning pain of being stretched by a nice, far cock with no prep.

“You pissed me off, baby,” he sighs, “And only good girls get prepped, you know?”

You whine, shuddering as you nod, “‘M sorry, Daddy. But I’m all y-yours. Don’t want Makki.”

He growls, rolling his hips forward to suddenly sink the entirety of his length inside you. You sob, back arching as you reach out and press your hands against his stomach - hoping to keep him from prodding painfully at your cervix.

“Don’t say another man’s name while I’m stuffing your little whore cunt nice and full,” he spits, making you whine out soft apologies.

He thinks you're so cute like this. So submissive, doing anything to make your Daddy happy - even letting him stretch your cunt past its limit. Still, he doesn't want to overwhelm you so he sits still, feeling your walls flutter as you slowly adjust.

His thumb finds its way to your clit and you whine, eyes rolling back as he circles the bud. Your thighs tremble and twitch at the feeling, body slowly relaxing against the bed - letting him know you're okay to take him.

He knows you'll say that little word if it's too much - he trusts you to tell him if you can't do it anymore. So he starts with a rough pace, harshly slamming his hips into yours - pummeling your cervix and making your body lock up in pain but the way he drags against your g-spot has you creaming beautifully.

There's a white ring at the base of his cock, a mess being made from the way your boyfriend expertly works your cunt. It leaves his cock throbbing painfully against your walls.

“Are you going to cum?” he asks, feeling the way you squeeze around him, crying out and sobbing his name.

“Yes, Daddy, please make me cum!” you immediately beg, eyes glossy and teary as you stare up at him.

“Tell Daddy what you need then,” he says, eyeing the way your breasts bounce. He can't resist reaching up to palm one, squeezing the soft flesh in his hand.

“M-My clit, Daddy, please!” you cry, grinding your hips down in fruitless frustration to get what you want.

“This?” he softly brushes the pad of his thumb over the hard, swollen little bud between your folds, “What about it? Want Daddy to spank it?”

Before you answer, he lays a mean little slap against the bud and you sob, the tears finally falling down your cheeks, “Daddy! Please t-touch my clit, make me cum!”

“Aw,” he coos, “Such a polite little girl.”

He takes mercy on you, rolling his thumb over the bud. A quick few circles has you going still. He watches with a lidded gaze, your body going lax while your thighs tremble erratically. Your mouth is open, chest heaving with the breathless little gasps you let out.

After a moment, and a few well-aimed thrusts of his cock, you seem to flicker back to life. Your back arches off of the bed and you squeal, legs kicking as pleasure floods through you.

He’s cruel, almost sadistic, in the way he forces you to ride out the orgasm. He doesn't slow or take his thumb off of your clit, sending you ever higher into euphoria.

You squirt, gushing cum all over his abs and thighs - soaking his cock as you squeal and cry out for him.

“Daddy! Daddy! Ah, pl-please! Please! Daddy!” he can listen to you scream for him all day but eventually, the messy, slick sounds of him stuffing your cunt and the deadly hold your cunt has on his cock has him cumming.

His hips stutter before he sinks completely inside, prodding your cervix and making you cry even harder before he releases - pumping his load as deep as he possibly can.

You’re still trembling and crying as everything comes to a slow end and he sighs, scooping you up into his arms to cradle you close to him. You wrap your arms around him and bury your face in his neck, letting out all the intense emotions that overflowed at the end.

“Shh, my good girl,” he coos, “Daddy is so proud of you, took it so well.”

“I-I don't like Makki, you know that right, Daddy?” you ask, sniffling without bringing your head from the safety of his chest.

He nods and kisses the top of your head, “I know, Daddy is sorry, he was just in a bad mood.”

You’re quiet for a second before asking, “Do you feel better now?”

He can’t help but smile, hugging you tight as he assures you that you made it all better, loving the way you brighten up and beam happily at the admission.

seita © 2020 | all content and its rights belong to me. do not modify or repost.

[mayaflowerxs]

hi there! can you do nsfw a-z for hendery? thank you! <3

NSFW Alphabet w/ Hendery

Warning: Smutty!

A/N: Thank u for the request hope you enjoy!

Aftercare:

He’s alllll for aftercare. Even if he’s not there with you and are doing phone sex he still does it. He’s asking you if you’re okay, to go get cleaned up, get some rest, eat and take a few minutes to yourself. If he went too hard on you he tends to stay with you whether it’s on the bed cuddling or just flat out following you to make sure you’re not having a hard time walking or doing any other activities that’s requiring you to move. Your safety means the world to him so even when you tell him you’re fine he won’t stop budging. At one point I can see him brushing you off and sending you to the couch or bed while he cleans and fixes the place up.

Body Part:

Not really a body part but he loves your hair. He loves tugging your hair just as much as he loves his being tugged.

Cum:

In any hole really. Hendery is just a sucker to see you full of him. He doesn’t like it splattered on you because he’s convinced it’s being wasteful and he may or may not have a breeding kink 😶

Dirty secret:

He has an oral fixation. Like the dude is literally in love with eating you out and sometimes it can get too much for you when you two get intimate. He can’t help it he loves it so much but won’t show it because he thinks you might get annoy of him constantly attacking your pussy :( so when you two do get handsy he seriously does not hold back at all. If he gets to a point where he has you practically sobbing then so be it but he’s not going to back off until he’s for sure done with you (if that’s what you’re into)

Experience:

I see him as experienced. Had a partner here and there and definitely went past making out. But oh boy they just didn’t hit the way you do. Everything he always wanted to try out was with you which is why it’s all the more special. Because you’re so accepting that he grows more and more confident in pleasuring you.

Favorite position:

Definitely doggy and cowgirl. He needs to be in charge. Now when you’re in cowgirl he never once has you think you’re in charge. I see him as one who’s very dominant behind all that goofiness. He’ll have you leaned down on his chest, an arm around your neck and the other around your waist as he relentlessly pounded into your fucked out cunt. Not holding back until every last drop is deeply stuffed in.

Goofy:

Okay he’s definitely goofy in the beginning. He’ll crack a hole here and there and overall just make it all the more comfortable. But as soon as the first moan leaves one of your guys mouth he’s inner dom comes out and no more Hendery now you’re face with Kunhang.

Hair:

Honestly it’s one or the other. No I’m between he’s a pretty confident man so he won’t worry whether he still keep it nice and trimmed to bare. If he wants to leave it as is he will and same goes for you. He literally does not mind what you do with your girl down there as long as he’s stilling tapping it it’s literally all that matters to him smh.

Intimacy:

The only time there’s real intimacy is if you two have been away for a long time. Missing you so much just as has him wrapped around you the entire time. And when you two are climaxing he’s pressing kisses to your shoulder, temple, lips anywhere silencing telling you, you did a good job and he loves you so so much.

Jerk off:

Oh yeah. He does it quite often. The boy literally is a puppy who grew attachment issues. He tends to miss your touch and presence and eventually that longing turns into sexual frustration that he just can’t tame. Kinda surprised how he still hasn’t been caught cuz of how often he does it especially since he shares his room. He loves to jerk off with you, so phone sex is a must.

Kink:

The biggest breeding kinker. Bondage. Those are his go to but he’s up for anything. Nothing is ever a routine when it comes to him he always has to try something new, nothing to big of a new but just something to spice things up. So things like choking, he grew fond of that as well. He also tried using ice but it only irritated him because the ice wouldn’t stop sliding down so that was a big turn off for him which only resulted in him taking out his frustration on you, annoyed that it didn’t work out to well but hey you didn’t mind. You got fucked by a frustrated Hendery that’s a pretty win win for you.

Location:

Okay hear me out, Hendery is literally in denial when it comes to this. But the man can literally do it ANYWHERE. Just with the right amount of edging and or sexual tension is why gets him to snap. Usually when his mind isn’t going fuzzy and he’s not in a lustful state he won’t even think to the idea of taking you in a public restroom. Or fucking you in the car in a parking lot filled with other cars. But as soon as you begin to tease him or whisper him how much you need him he slowly starts turning into the dommy man you oh so love just like his regular self and before you know it you’re coming back home with a slight limp.

Motivation:

How lost you get. You will be minding your own business but won’t notice how every move you’re making is a bit more seductive to Hendery’s eyes. He snaps as soon as you flash him that ‘innocent’ smile at him and that’s when he has you pinned. He also loves how confident you get, when you’re in the mood you don’t hold back. Already on a mission to tag Hendery’s whereabouts and pounce on him. Seriously ends up falling more in love with you when he’s all of a sudden gets dragged away from his activities and pushed onto a surface to lay or sit on. Biting his lip as you begin to attack him in kisses. Yeah he’s a goner right then and there.

No:

Honestly Hendery says no to anything he considers not that fun or interesting. Like the ice, won’t ever do that again what a waste of time and ice.

Oral:

My god YES. He loves you sucking him but usually he gets impatient because he’s the one who wants to eat you out. Might get a bit selfish because you like oral too so he might take up your time just so that he gets to work on you. The boy literally loves eating pussy he can go for hours and not get tired. Though eventually it gets too much your hands are pushing at his head and legs desperately trying to shut, hot tears running down your cheek by how sensitive you’re getting. Close to seeing spots.

Pace:

He has a good pace. Not too fast or slow, doesn’t stop often nor does he pound into you continuously without break. He knows exactly what pace to go which is right in the middle of it all which is what gets you to cum hard. His pace reflects on his thrusts and stamina and when all three come together he gets his baby happily pleasured which is all that matters to him.

Quickies:

Into it definitely. Hendery is overall a sex addict. That’s the truth. And the thing is he does good when you’re not around, for some time. But once your in view, in arms length or just the mention of your name is an instant click in his brain to desperately fuck you to tomorrow. Always before practice, after concerts, before grocery shopping. Hell he might even drag you to the bathroom and fuck you while you two were in the middle of shopping. He’s all for it and he’s not ashamed of it.

Risk:

Doesn’t give a fuck. Quite frankly he wishes someone catches you two in the act. Just the mere thought already has him climaxing so hard. Just seeing the shocked face of someone catching him fucking you balls deep is probably a deep desire of his. Like I said earlier this man can fuck you anywhere and won’t care who can see.

Stamina:

This boy has such a high sex drive he’s learned how to keep a high stamina. Hell even after you two are finished he still might have some energy he still needs to let off but never acts upon it because he sees how tired and worn out you are he just no longer has the heart to keep you going. You already did so much for him his needs can wait.

Toys:

Yes! I see Hendery as secretly kinky so using toys is a must for him. He’ll mostly use them to edge you on, yes he might like using them but he will never have a toy make you cum. If anything only he can, not even a toy shall do that to you. I also see him as the type to have lots of phone sex with you and have you use them but as soon as you’re close to cumming he’ll demand you to get rid of em and use your fingers to finish you off.

Unfair:

It’s a 50/50 for him. Usually he likes to tease you but not for long. He’s not the biggest fan of not giving you what you want.

Volume:

I feel like he’s one who’s kinda shy to show you his sounds of pleasure when you first go out but the more he gets comfortable and the more you reassure him he gets more vocal. Now that doesn’t mean he’s the loudest mf, I feel like he is only ever loud when he hits the spot to the point where his fingers are practically leaving a bruise on you by how good it feels. But other than that he’ll most likely grunt and have heavy breathing. Sweat running down his forehead which is what gets you going and have you get him to grunt louder when you either ride him faster or squeeze around him.

Wildcard:

When he plays video games with the boys he tends to have you on his lap throughout the game. Cock warming is his absolute favorite. He treats it like a challenge. How long can he have you on his lap without fucking you and usually it lasts around four rounds until he’s saying goodbye and fucking you from behind. Letting all his sexual needs on to you who is currently shaking his desk top like crazy.

X-ray:

Feel like he’s a bit over average. I feel like he’s more long than girthier but doesn’t mean it’s skinny as hell. Don’t get it twisted the boy be packing no doubt.

Yearning:

The man craves for you literally all the time. The only time he doesn’t yearn for you is if scheduling is kicking his ass and he’s too sleep deprived to even eat properly. Even then he might make it up by having lazy sex with you as soon as he wakes up. You guys have sex pretty regularly, if anything it’s a lot than regularly. You must have some nice working birth control because man with all these rounds and you’re still not knocked up. Only making it a challenge for Hendery to succeed in. And let me tell you once he challenges himself he most definitely succeeds.

Zzz:

Hendery is either or. It’s either he’s so worn out of his energy he falls asleep or he still has some energy left and uses that to clean up and yourselves. Usually because of how much he puts you through you’ll be the one knocked out so he’ll probably distract himself by playing the drums or doing what Hendery usually does.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

hi. can i request something angsty i absolutely love your angst works! so being in a long term relationship with mr ran haitani that's kind of already having fallouts. then reader cheated and confesses to ran about it but he still kind of didn't expect reader would do something like that. thank you very much! pls ignore if you want <3

This hurt to write. But it hurt so damn good.

King of Sorrow: Ran Haitani x Fem!Reader

wc: 1.6k

tw: A N G S T

masterlist

song recommendation:

Things had been going downhill for a while.

Ran noticed the way you stayed out late, the way you no longer cuddled him in bed at night, the way your eyes wandered when you two were at the club...

But he never says anything.

You two had been together since he had become part of Bonten - and that was five years ago. FIve years of bliss, love, and happiness.

But that all started to fall apart last month.

He can't recall what he did - if anything. Ran tried his best to show you that he loved you, even when he was away. But lately, it'd been met with a half-hearted "thanks" or "I love you, too". Ran knew you weren't saying it because it was inherently true. You were saying it because you felt obligated to.

But he didn't feel obligated.

No, he's convinced he loves you, even if you're falling out of love with him. It's a hard thought for him to grasp, but he does somehow - that you might just have fallen out of love with him.

So he ups his gestures of love in an attempt to stave off the routine. This week, he's taken you on a trip to Italy. No meetings, no calls, nothing that has to do with work. It's just you and him on a cruise ship, sailing from port to port.

"This is amazing," he beams, cutting into the steak with gusto. "I've never had steak like this before."

"It's Wagyu," you mention, looking more somber in the dim lighting of the restaurant than when you both entered. Come to think of it, the moment you stepped onto the boat, you seemed downcast, even more so than when you were at home. You couldn't even look Ran in the eye anymore, and even though he'd made love to you the previous night, it seemed like that didn't have any effect on how you felt today. Usually, you'd be excited and full of life, but...

"Babe," Ran whispers, putting his fork down. "What's wrong?" Your bottom lip quivers and Ran stiffens. No, he thinks. Don't cry. But he also wants to get to the bottom of things, so he continues cautiously. "Things have been really strange for some time now, and I brought you here so maybe we could fix whatever's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," you lie, wiping your eyes quickly. "Everything's fine."

"No," Ran tuts. "It's not. My love, you've been distant. I'm worried about us." He reaches across the table and touches your hand, and gesture he hasn't tried in a long time. "I'm worried about you." You snatch your hand away, standing and throwing your napkin over your barely touched food.

"It's fine, Ran," you snap, then walk away from the table quickly, rubbing at your eyes furiously as you leave the ship's dining room. Ran sighs, motioning for the waiter as he cuts his losses with the dinner.

"Just send the bill to the room, please."

Ran finds you in your shared suite, sitting in the chair facing the balcony with your head in your hands. You're sobbing, and for a moment, he replays the interaction between the two of you before approaching, holding your purse in one hand.

"Love," he begins, kneeling beside the chair and placing your purse in the other seat beside him. "I need you to talk to me."

"I just..." you start but break off, tears flowing down your fingers. "It's not your fault." You reveal your reddened face, eyes rimmed with smeared mascara. "I didn't mean to..."

"Whatever it is, it's fine," Ran whispers, taking your wet hands in his. "It'll be okay. Just tell me what's wrong." His heart is aching to know why you're so heartbroken, but you inhale shakily, then exhale before opening your eyes.

"Ran, I want to start off by apologizing." Ran shakes his head, his violet eyes unsure, but you stop him, squeezing his hands once. "Just listen to me all the way through, okay?"

"Done," he affirms, shoulders relaxing now that you're finally telling him what's wrong.

"A month ago... I went to Takada's bachelorette party, right?"

"Mmm-hmm." He remembers that night. You looked so stunning in your tight mini-dress and pinned-up hair. He thought about railing you over the side of the banister before you left and was a little disappointed that you came home around eight in the morning instead of that same night.

"I..." You shakily inhale again, shaking your head rapidly. "I got so drunk. I don't know what was wrong with me, I..." You sniff, then remove your hands from Ran's, wiping at a stray tear. "I ended up sleeping with someone. I don't know who they are, I don't know where they came from. But I just remember waking up in the bed, naked, and seeing him there."

Ran stares at you, face empty, still not fully processing what you've said. He is still for a while as the cogs in his mind turn around and around and around and around and around and then

stop.

His mouth dries up, and his violet eyes look away from you, at the wallpaper, at the mirror, at the corner of the room, at the ceiling.

"I've felt so guilty since then," you mumble. "I couldn't tell you because I felt so ashamed, I--"

Ran stands, letting out a soft "oh", wavering a little on his feet. He blinks a few times, still not looking at you, then cocks his head to the left, like he's hearing something. But he's just processing. His mind flits from one day to the next, trying to pinpoint any signs, any clues... How could he have been so stupid?

No, you couldn't have cheated. It was a mistake. You'd gotten undressed, the man was drunk and also fell asleep in your bed... No, you couldn't do that. Not to him. Not to Ran Haitani.

But your guilt is written all over your face.

"Oh," Ran mutters again, jaw clenching. His breaths come quick like he'd been running for hours, and he can barely think as he sees red cloud his vision. He can't understand what he's doing when he breaks the table in the conjoined living room, or swipes the vases onto the floor, shattering them and depositing the flowers among them. He can't think about anything as you shout for him to stop, trying to reach him past his haze of red, but he's too far gone.

And the thing that frightens you the most is that he isn't yelling or screaming.

He's quiet.

He's not cursing at you, he's just destroying anything that looks whole, tossing it to the ground and rendering it unusable. You slide down against the wall, tears coursing down your cheeks again as he huffs, standing in the middle of the wreckage, gasping for air.

And then, the clearest thought Ran's had in almost an hour comes to him.

"Let me get you your own room."

"Ran," you plead, stumbling over your feet to get to him as he marches over to the phone. "Ran, please."

"Hello? I need a new suite for Mrs. Haitani. Do you have one available?"

"Ran!" you beg, pulling at his sleeve, but he doesn't move from the phone, gripping the receiver as the person on the other line tries to find an open room for you. You try to reach the button that will hang up the call, reaching past Ran's frame in earnest. He's blocking it, but there's just enough room for your pointer finger to tap the button, ending the call.

Ran doesn't even move. The phone is still up to his ear as if the call is still going on, but no voice is on the other line.

Fat tears roll down from his eyes, and he's frozen there, standing with the phone in his hands as if he were paused in time. But he lets the phone slip from his grasp, walking like a zombie over to the chair by the balcony, and sliding into it slowly.

And he doesn't get up, staring out at the sea with an empty, forlorn look.

"Ran," you whisper, crouching next to him. He doesn't answer, tears running freely down his face. "Ran..." Again, there's no answer, so you hang your head next to his leg, touching his thigh with your right hand. He doesn't move, even when you get up to prepare for bed, the door leading to the carnage of his temper still open.

He doesn't move from that chair all night, and you don't sleep, staring at him as his tears dry. You even succumb to sleep for a brief moment, waking to see him still in that same chair, still trying to think.

But eventually, he moves, walking into the bathroom and staying in there for a while. You wait patiently for him, sitting on the edge of the bed as he emerges, wiping his face with a towel before he inhales sharply.

"As soon as they dock this ship at the next port, we're heading home. Couples counseling or a divorce, it's your choice." You look down at your hands, nodding. You understand the need to cut the trip short. It's for the best.

When you arrive back home two days later, Ran immediately grabs a new bag of things, loading it up with clothing and toiletries, choosing to take residence at Rindou's home instead of sleeping in the same bed as you.

And that hurt the worst, his cold violet eyes not even glancing over at you as he left the master bedroom without any words.

[redheadedpineapple]

Hey author san. I absolutely love your writings. They are making me so happy. Why didn't i get notifications when you posted. I searched your blog and found out... you were the sweetest person who wrote the angel sanji. I was the one who requested thatt!

Can I request for Y!Ace X Reader please. Your yandere Scenario made me crave for more yandere. 🙊. Not too gore or blood please. I am in loveeeee with your writings. How did I not get notifications from your blog? Im still sad about that.

Yandere! Portgas D. Ace x GN!Reader

TYSM <3 i’m so glad i can make people happy!! also, notifs can be weird with tumblr, but if you’d like i can tag you for my posts so you get notifs >< also!! if you’re on mobile, it might help to go into your Settings > General > Dashboard Preferences > then turn off Best Stuff first! it makes it show stuff at the top that’s been posted recently instead of stuff tumblr thinks you’ll like !

Yandere word count: 844

──────〔Portgas D. Ace〕────── GN!Reader reader is p weak, ace takes advantage of that, suggestive content and comments, somnophilia 

Portgas D. Ace is impatient. He can’t help but take action the moment he decides he wants you. He makes the decision when you smile at him at the shop. You smile at him differently than you smile at the other customers, and he can feel his heartbeat quicken. 

To ease his curious mind, he approaches you and asks for help in picking out his bouquet. Without describing the occasion at all, you go into flowers for love and romance, and he decides you must feel the same rush he does when you look at him. So he talks to you more, and as you realise he wants more conversation than what flowers look best together and mean the most, you tell him your break is in half an hour and you’ll see him then. 

When you two sit down for coffee, he pushes you for information about yourself. He finds you love your little flower shop and company of plants. When he asks, you insist you wouldn’t give it up for the world. Rather, it was your world. 

He does the only thing he can think of and burns it down. Not with you around, of course! He would never hurt you like that. 

From up on a roof hidden by the night and chaos of a roaring fire, Ace watches tragedy strike your heart as your hard earned shop goes up in flames. He watches as you run away from the scene with tears in your eyes, desperate to get away from the heart crushing sight and suffocating atmosphere of shouting and screaming. 

He makes the decision that you officially need him as you stumble along the beach hopelessly. The sand huffs as you fall to your knees, letting out sobs. 

You cry for what feels like hours until you’re so exhausted you can hardly even keep yourself sat upright. As your body sways in fatigue, Ace rushes over to catch you before you fall. His arms are secure and warm, carrying you as his fire powered boat pushes you two along the splashing waves. Half lidded eyes gaze up at him, pupils swimming in your eyes as your dizzy mind tries to make sense of what’s happened. It’s all for naught when your vision blanks and you fall completely limp in his arms. 

Ace decides he quite likes the feeling. 

When he finds a place to stay, he lies you in bed and curses his fire powers, wishing for ice as your temperature skyrockets. Still, he does the best he can to cool your fever, and in a few hazy days, you’re back to normal temperatures.

While you don’t remember much while you were awake, Ace couldn’t erase the way you depended on him so heavily, looking at him like you knew you’d die without him. Don’t worry, though! Ace would die without you, too---he’s certain now. He has to have you. 

He’s giddy as he notices you gaining consciousness again, hopefully feeling much better. You move to sit up, and he rushes over to support you. 

“Hey, careful there baby, you’re comin’ off a pretty harsh fever.”

Rubbing your eyes, you inspect the face of the man taking care of you. His expression is soft, contrast to his sharp jawline and defined features. Freckles are spread across his face, and you think it’s rather cute compared to the rest of his more manly appearance. 

You smile. “Ah, thank you. You must have taken care of me, and I really appreciate that. How sweet of you.”

Oh, how little did you know, how unaware you were to how much he really took care of you. Every little need of yours was met with passion and desire on his end, wanting nothing more than to fill each little need.

“I must ask though, where am I? This is hardly a room of a hospital.”

He chuckles and sits on the side of the bed. “We’re just at an inn I’m staying at, no need for paranoia. You seemed more than ill physically all washed up on the beach like that. I’m not harbouring a lunatic now, am I?” he asked, smiling to himself at his own little joke. 

But you panicked at his comment, shaking your head furiously. “No, no no! Ah, bad idea,” you murmured, moving your hand up to massage your temples. 

“Oh, baby, c’mere.” He pulls you into his lap facing him, and he wraps his arms around your body. “You’re just so sensitive, aren’t you?” he coos, cradling the back of your head and gently petting your hair with his thumb. 

“Uhm… Ace, right?” He nods. “I should really get going, I have lots of work to do,” you say, trying to shimmy off his lap, but his hold is strong. 

“Poor thing, you are. Always trying to overwork yourself. You can grow as many flowers as you’d like, plants from all over the world, let’s get you back home, alright?”

If only your desperate innocence had a little more paranoia to understand he meant your new home. 

[panicinart]

🔞 Nsfw alphabet 🔞

☎️ OG Billy Lenz ☎️

It's time for some Chaotic Rat Gremlin

Also side note I'm at the moment reader the novel and ngl I changed a few things since it didn't fit his character very well. I'm not that far with it but I hope I did a good job with interpreting his character :)

A = Aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

☎️You know that feeling were you're really tired but got some extra suppressed energy, so you just kinda stand there in hell? That's him.

☎️Billy doesn't know if he should run around naked and do his usual rat gremlin stuff or fall asleep so hard like someone drugged him with something.

☎️Either way it's going to be a ride, because you're gonna need to catch a naked rat man running around before the sorority sisters come, or your whole bed is drenched in drool.

B = Body part (how is their body build? any favorite body part of them and their partner?)

☎️A fucking twunk, he probably was more of a twink before he met you because bitch only got small amounts of food and not that many opportunitys to build up muscles.

☎️Billy has a bit of a biceps, back muscle, and leg muscle but that's really it. He also doesn't have a lot of hair mostly a bit on his chest, crotch area and a small hair trail that bairly connects those points. If he goes all out he is also able to grow a bit arm and leg hair.

☎️Honestly I feel like this gremlin is proud of the little chest hair he has, so he really likes that area. He sometimes squeezes his man milkers and you cannot change my mind on that.

☎️Billy LOVES his s/o's thighs and chest! Big, small, doesn't matter their great (especially the thighs, their a gate way to something great).

☎️With the chest it is more of a thing that he thinks is funny, his grabby hands sometimes poke, squeeze and lightly slap them.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum)

☎️Doesn't produce a lot of cum, but it is STICKY. The cum is very white, and kinda like chewing gum. It comes in spurts and god help him this man can shoot a load meters away, he shoot his load more then he can count into his eye, and also yours.

☎️He also produces A LOT of precum

☎️It doesn't have a lot of taste, maeby a bit on the sour / bitter side???

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, do they have a dirty secret?)

☎️Billy has some kinks (???) that aren't really good for him, for example he would beg to be humiliated but after the act he will be a sobbing mess, be angry or thinks all the things his partner told him are true. Basically self destructive tendencies that he let's out with sex in an unhealthy way.

E = Experience (do they know what they're doing?)

☎️Surprisingly he kinda knows what he does, were did he got that info?? Who knows, Billy certainly can't remember, (probably watched some people geting it on or stole a porn magazine).

F = Favorite position (which position(s) do the like the most?)

☎️All positions are great positions as one confused and wise attic gremlin sayd.

☎️But in all honesty it depends on his mood so here are his top 5 in no particular order:

Kepper

Stick figure

Grasshopper

Counterblow

Valedictorian

G = Goofy (are they more serious or do the like to clown around?)

☎️This man has a hard time staying serious, there are rare moments were he stays focused while being on the mission to go to pound town. Most of the time you hear him giggle, snorting and sometimes saying random one liners that he pulls out of his ass that don't make sense to you, but he still laughs like he heard the funniest shit in the world.

H = Hair (any hair down there? How do they groom it?)

☎️The hair is quite thin and a bit curly, it's a good amount of hair but not a forest, because Billy doesn't take care of it the hair it is all over the place and can look a bit overwhelming.

☎️Billy doesn't really groom it and since it's the 70s, he also doesn't shave it

I = Intimacy (how are they during sex in a romantic aspect?)

☎️He is generally not the romantic type so don't hope for rose pedals and lit candles.

☎️When he is in a more lucid state he will give your face small and sweet kisses while he giggles happily with a manic undertone.

J = Jack off / Jill off (how do they masturbate and how often?)

☎️Before he met you? Probably almost daily. The pumps are fast and eager without a rythm and really messy.

K = Kink (any kinks?)

☎️There is almost nothing he wouldn't try at least once, Billy is an adventurous and curious guy, so I keep it down to a hand full.

☎️Dirty talk, it's either messy game with words that he repeats like a broken record or really fucking good, not in a poetic way but the filth that comes from his mouth is GOOD. But he often does it when he is more unstable, be a bit more careful around him especially if the words become messier and messier.

☎️Breeding, not in a way of wanting children, god no don't let this man near kids, he is scared of them and they are scared of him, but more in a way of wanting to see you stuffed with his cum. He may not produce a lot but he got the Stamina for that, the only question that lays in the room is, if you can keep up with him.

☎️ We all know that he is really into voyeurism, it doesn't even need to be sexual he just likes watching you. If you give him a small show he will vibrated with anticipation and pounce on you immediately.

☎️Phone sex, do I need to say anything more?? It's thrilling for him and sometimes it gets paired up with a bit of roleplay (unintentionally most of the time) , the whole act is also a great way to tease him. Just don't do it too much, he can take a bit but it's a fine line of a horny Billy and an angry Billy.

☎️There is still so much more but god dammit I will be here forever.

Edging, overstimulation, Pegging, Thigh jobs, geting his hair pulled, praise and many more!

L = Location (were do they like to have sex?)

☎️The thought of fucking you everywhere is really alluring but he mostly does it in the bed and attic. He doesn't want to risk getting caught and honestly the thought alone that people could be near gives him anxiety.

M = Motivation (what turns them on/gets them going?)

☎️Everything, you could just walk around and he could pop a boner. The guy is just really unpredictable and his moods can swing erratically which influences his horniness a lot.

☎️But if we assume he is in a more stable mindset where is squirrel brain isn't high on sugar here are a few things that always work;

Soft and sensual touches on arms and thighs

Teasing/slight tickling with fingers on the back of his neck to the end of his spine

Showing a bit more skin the usually and having direct eye contact that lingers a bit longer then the norm

Any close contact to his crotch area, the man will jump on you like a dog

N= No (what's a turn off/they don't want to do?)

☎️Getting too violent, it's more of a safety thing for your own health. He can quickly slip in a dangerous mindset, ESPECIALLY at the beginning of the relationship and I doubt you like to be the moaner's next murderer victim.

☎️Billy can't stand brats in bed it irritates him, or just any kind of attitude.

☎️He also doesn't like it if his s/o dirty talks back, when he does it it often doesn't register in his mind, so if his lovely partner does it, it kind of disgust and displeases him greatly.

O = Oral (do they like to give or receive? How is their skill? How do they react during receiving?)

☎️He LOVES to give oral, Billy could die between your legs and honestly, that's the way he wants to go. He also wouldn't say no to a blowjob and would get ecstatic with the offer (if he didn't ask demanded first).

☎️But sadly Billy isn't that skillful, he makes a lot of sloppy noises and purposely makes a mess, spit, your juices and possibly his cum will be splattered across your whole crotch area and thighs.

☎️He does well alright tho, it isn't anything special but the way he has his grabby boney fingers grab at your body restlessly and his tongue tasting every corner makes it up for any lack of knowledge he has. His tounge is also really long.

☎️You think he stays still when you go down on him?? Oooooh no, god you might have to tie his hands up. They would grab anything they can get, cushion, objects your hair ect, and the guy will pull and squeeze it like his live depends on it.

☎️He also will buck his hips into you and straight up face fucks you, ya need a lot of strength in your arms and hands if you want Billy to stay still. Also the noise he makes? For some it can be really hot but for other a huge turn of, he chokes on his own spit and the moans can sound really animalistic and loud. Either gag him or let everyone know you get hot and heavy with him. That is if anyone is in the house.

P = Pace (how is their thrusting? Hard, fast, deep ect)

☎️He goes FAST, like a bunny in heat, so you better be prepared to have some bruising from his violent thrusting.

☎️The thrust are also relatively hard but 0 rythm.

☎️ His dick also sometimes just slips out, it happened a few times that he also completely missed the targed and rams his dick full speed to your ass (and continues like a champ).

☎️And if your afab he probably "accidentally" buries his junk in the wrong whole.

Q = Quickie (do they like Quickies, if yes how often?)

☎️Yes god he loves them, he often uses them to get rid of extra energy or pent up emotions and there is A LOT , (just be a bit careful with the emotions, maeby talk it out (if you manage to have a reasonable conversation with this rat of a man) what he feels and why he wants to do it, safe words is also a good idea).

R = Risk (any risk their willing to do?)

☎️Fucking you in a room while the sorority sisters are right next to it, he would be so drowned in the bliss that he forgetshis anxiety, but if you are able to comfort him afterwards do it. He often slips into a bad and sometimesaggressivemanic state untreated. (Again,it's a mess if you don't want to get caught, gag the man).

S = Stamina (how long can they go? How long do they last?)

☎️Bitch can go all night, no joke he recovers fast and his hunger for you has no end. He may take small breaks in between the rough fucking, but I'm gonna tell ya his grip on you is like steel he won't let go of you.

T = Toys (any toys they like? If yes, what toys do they like on themselves and on their partner?)

☎️He think's their funny and definitely will mess around with them. Use as many as your kinky heart desires he will follow lead.

☎️On him? Great he waits eagerly on the bed almost jumping from the spot because he is so excited. He loves vibrators and nipple clamps, but collars are good too!

☎️On you? Lord have mercy on your poor soul because you didn't know what's coming for you. Honey you got a big storm coming. But please teach him how to use them and what feels good and what not or else he will stab your insides with a dildo.

U = Unfair (are they a tease? How do they react if teased?)

☎️Billy goes always straight to the point, but sometimes he teases which often happens without his intentions.

☎️The whole thing gets even worse when he goes down on you. This man has bairly any cohesive thoughts what makes you think that he can concentrate for a solid minute. While he is doing it his mind is already somewhere else, which makes him stop for a few seconds or slow down, or not giving the right spots the attention they need. So your agonizingly lay between the almost orgasmic feeling and under stimulation.

V = Volume (how loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

☎️Not necessarily LOUD but people will know what's going on (if you go down on him it's a whole other thing).

☎️The noises he normally makes is strangled / chocked up moans, groaning, giggling or straight up laughing and some mumbling that you for the most part don't fully hear.

W = Wild card (random nsfw headcanon(s))

☎️Billy has a thing for submissive and innocent people, it is more fun to see them react to his vulgar and partly extreme behavior. The way the Yelp when he gives them a rough handling or spurts out the most filthiest thing makes his blood boil. It just something of corrupting someone innocent, sweet and well mannered to something that can only be described as a human mess is making him more feral then he already is. Bonus points if they are covered in his cum and drool.

☎️If somehow you both manage to a a healthy relationship this man will go down your pants faster then the speed of light. And Billy gets quite upset if you say no to him.

☎️Likes to suprise his s/o with him wanking it in front of you in the worst time you can imagine. Ho? Your bringing in the groceries and are in a hurry because the ice cream will melt? Suprises Billy blocks the doorway and rubs his dick violently while having direct eye contact. If you manage to walk past him he will follow you around trying to put your hands on his dick, or even try's to get a blowjob out of you. If not well then his hand and your thighs or ass will do the job too!

☎️Loves to bite and suck on your neck it's also something that gets him going like nothing else, nobody know why but it does.

X = X-ray (what's going on under those clothes?)

☎️Not exactly fat, but he got something packing, around 6.5 inches in length and 5.3 inches in girth. The man is cut and got some thin veins here and there.

Y = Yearning (how high is their libido?)

☎️High, just say your into the mood from another room while having a mouth full of stuff and the man will go crashing down the attic before you finish your sentence even tho it was bairly understandable on what you sayd.

Z = Zzz (how quickly do they fall asleep?)

☎️It's always different one time he is knockout in a few seconds the other night he was awake for another 4 hours, it just depends on how much gymnastics you both needed to make and how bad his manic episode is.

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//fatherhood headcannons//

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / Bokuto Koutarou / Daishou Suguru

Warnings: none 

Word Count: 1.7K (~550 a piece)

Notes: don’t come for me and my self-indulgence. Also >:C if you’re of age and living in the United States, go fucking vote.  i am not asking. 

Kuroo Tetsurou

He goes into this whole fatherhood thing with complete and utter confidence.  Kuroo Tetsurou is convinced that he doesn’t need to have a single parenting book.  How hard can it be?

It’s all just making sure his kid doesn’t die, right? R I G H T?

He tries really hard to understand all of your discomforts during the pregnancy, but wowowow he’s bad at it.  You were complaining that your feet were sore and he just looked at you weird.  You had just gotten out of bed?  How did your feet already hurt?  Your back hurts? How? You’re laying down?

He recognizes that you’re in discomfort and he, of course, doesn’t look past that.  He’s going to do whatever he needs to do to ensure your comfort, but he just struggles to comprehend it.

I promise that Kuroo was so calm and cool and collected throughout the entire pregnancy and honestly, even during delivery, he was there to tell you how great you were doing, holding your hand, letting you crush his fingers in your tight grip.  He would pat your head and occasionally give you little kisses on your temple.

But when the nurse asks if he wants to hold his new little girl and places her in his arms, oh he’s crying.  He doesn’t even realize that he’s crying until he feels the tears stream down his cheeks.

It was in the following weeks that he realized just how hard this whole parenting thing would be.  Sleep?  Kuroo didn’t know her.  The baby religiously started crying every night at 2:27 a.m. and it would take nearly an hour to get her to fall back asleep.  By the time that hour passed, he was already back to being wide awake and would just lay in bed, unable to fall back asleep for hours.  

The first time he ever had to change a diaper, he had to pull up a YouTube video to figure it out, but he’s not about to tell you that.  

He has no idea how to dad, but Kuroo ends up being a really incredible father.  While he may be lacking in the basic skills like knowing the correct formula temperature or how to properly hold his daughter, he makes up for it with his constant companionship.  

You’ve walked in on him in the nursery so many times.  He’s really not even doing anything.  He’s just leaning against the crib, running his fingers across his little girl’s skin, still not believing that this is real and that that little baby is his, something that he helped create.  Oh, it just makes him so soft to think about.   He talks real quietly to her, telling her about his day, like she has any idea what he’s saying, but he still smiles so wide when she looks at him.

His little girl is his entire world and I just know that he’s an incredibly protective father.  He knows that the world is a scary place and he wants his daughter to be able to grow up having the best life possible, even if it is difficult.

Bokuto Koutarou

It was an accident.  It was 100% an accident.  But, the absolute joy that lit up his features when you told him your happy news, well, you don’t think you had ever seen him smile so wide.  He had picked you up to spin you around and covered your face in kisses.  Bokuto had set you down and immediately squatted down to place a kiss on your non-existent baby bump, telling his little baby how excited he was to be their papa.

Bokuto does prepare, well, at least a little. He owns one book, but he has read it cover to cover.  When he was reading through it, he would stop at something that he found particularly interesting and show it to you.

He didn’t really know how best to take care of you, but he tried his best!  He would rub your shoulders or feet when you asked.  He would make dinner after practice.  He is absolutely running to the store in the middle of the night because you had a sudden craving for Cheetos and vanilla ice cream.  Bokuto thought it was best not to ask what the hell you were doing when you proceeded to dip the Cheetos in the ice cream.

Bokuto forces you on walks.  He read in that one pregnancy book that walks can help induce labor, so in the time leading up to the due date, Bokuto was taking you on strolls around the block multiple times a day.  

But, he gets really busy with MSBY ;-; like. . . a lot.  He wants to be there every step of the way, but he just can’t.  Even after the baby was born, it seemed like there was rarely a day off for him to just spend with you and the baby.

Nothing hurt more than seeing the video of his little boy taking his first steps, knowing that he wasn’t even there to see it for himself because he was stuck on a bus in another city for a game.

This boy B R A G S about his kid all the time.  Sakusa might just beat his ass if he has to hear Bokuto coo about his son one more time.  

Games that happen at home are Bokuto’s favorites because he knows that whenever he looks up into the stands, you’ll be there, the baby in your arms, a tiny black knit hat with gold detailing pulled over his head.  It always made his heart so warm and he seemed to always be on top of his game just so he could secure a win quicker.  He just wanted to rush to you and cradle his little one in his arms.

He likes to toss his little bean up into the air, but he has absolutely bonked his son’s head on the ceiling and then proceeded to fail to catch him because he was so in shock that he just hit his son’s head on the ceiling.  Insert one (1) bokuto koutarou suddenly regretting every life decision that he has ever made.  

Surprisingly, he’s a really good parent?  He understands the balance between being caring and supportive, but also having a firm hand on discipline.  He isn’t much for punishments, because he’s going to feel bad, but he won’t hesitate to sit his son down and have a talk if he needs to.  

God Bokuto is such a good dad please i’m so soft i just know that he would sob his eyes out the minute the baby is on its way

Daishou Suguru

please i don’t even want children, but i would make an exception for daishou suguru

Suguru is so?? stupidly?? prepared?? 

Like the two of you decided that you wanted to have a baby and this man went to the bookstore and asked one of the workers which pregnancy books were the best.  The poor high school student had no idea

He took notes and was just constantly studying up on things.  You’d think he was back in university again with how much he poured himself over these books.  

While Daishou may have all of the technical stuff down like knowing the exact female reproductive anatomy and how it all works to produce the baby and he can definitely change a diaper with his eyes closed by now, but-

When the time came to put together a nursery- oh the boy was lost.  He had no idea what to do.  He’d never built a crib before.  He wasn’t really sure why he was expecting it to just unfold or magically form together when he took it out of the box, but now he was just sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by bits and pieces of a baby crib, pouring over the instructions, only to get more confused.

Please go sit with him in his time of need.  He’ll rest his head on your shoulder and rub tiny circles over your bump.  

Suguru probably jumped a foot in the air when he felt that itty bitty kick against his hand.  It took him by complete surprise and his eyes were as wide as saucers, but this really slow smile took over his face and you don’t think you had ever seen him so happy, a complete smiling and laughing mess.

He takes the best care of you b y e 

Morning sickness?  He’s right there to pull your hair away from your face and get you a glass of water.  

Too bad he spent all this time looking up information on the actual pregnancy and had no idea what to expect for actual childbirth.  Overnight bag?  He said, “How long does this take?”  He had no idea what to do during delivery.  His dumbass just stood there until you demanded that he give you his hand and definitely screamed when you nearly crushed his bones in an absolute death grip, nails digging painfully into the back of his hand, but who was he to object.  He wasn’t the one pushing a child out of his body.

Oh, did I say child?  Try children.  Suguru nearly fainted when the nurse said that there was “one more.”  He didn’t remember seeing a second little peanut on the ultrasound, but maybe he just forgot in the overwhelming panic of the moment?

He was so good all throughout the pregnancy, but the minute the kids are born?  It’s like he completely forgot everything that he read over the past nine months, but the softness in his eyes and the gentle smile on his lips the very first time he got to hold his kid?  It made it all worth it.  He didn’t know that it was possible to love someone so quickly, but he looked at the faces of his newborn children and he couldn’t have been happier.

Daishou has fallen asleep in the nursery chair more than once when he was up with the babies.  You’d get up to see what was taking so long, only to find him leaned back, his head lolled to the side, two tiny bundles held securely to his chest.

In conclusion.  I love daishou suguru and he would be a really good dad once he figured it all out

{Taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ @celosiiaa​ @kuronekomama​ @lovinnoya​ and @nekxrizawa​ @boosyboo9206​ bc you both got me thinking about them as d a d s and now i can’t get it out of my head onyx please take this as a bribe to receive the daishou suguru hip dermal edit you made i need it}

[i8jisoo]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader 

hyunjin x reader | part four of dad!skz

↬ genre; fluff

↬ warnings; pregnancy, lots of cursing (i have a streak), birth, n kkami bein a meanie

↬ notes; ok this might be my fav in the series | 1.5k wc

u and hyunjin actually were broken up when u found out about the pregnancy

u waited (stalled fuck off) until five months since u really didnt know what to do with the news

u kinda feel like ur insane, playing your ex-boyfriends music constantly and watching interviews of him but it kept u company and gave u a reminder that u still needed to tell him

u got this rly cute popped out bump, just rly kinda like those movies but u know its gonna get bigger and grow to have stretch marks

one day ur just sitting on the sofa of your apartment n the next thing u know ur door is being opened and hyunjin is barging in

ofc ur in a sports bras and a pair of basketball shorts cause they r comfortable and shirts r overrated

ur there with set out marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate, as well as peppermint sticks on the side just eating them together

ur in the middle of eating a smore u had put together

u swallow ur smore slowly, sucking on ur fingertips n just staring at him

“oh my fucking god- and it’s true?” 

ur honestly so confused until u remember u dont have on a shirt n ur bump is showing

ur standing up in a millisecond, hyunjin getting more upset by the second just looking at u

“why— how? how could you just not tell me?”

baby boy has those angry tears and the strained voice hes just so upset and the guilt is setting in for u

“i’m five and a half months.” 

fuck hormones cause next thing u know ur crying and u cant do anything to make it stop

u guys really can’t be mad at each-other, ur relationship was filled with nothing but kindness and it ended only because u two felt it was going no where

ofc u two argued about it and in the end hyunjin was the one who walked out

“we can try again. you can move back in right? we can stay together and put back the pieces.”

u agreed n by the next morning he was there to help u pack ur things up n take them back to his place

he ends up seeing the box of baby stuff, with unopened bottle packages and sonograms, as well as a disc that was labelled as your 3D ultrasound

u find him just sitting there, staring at the black and white sonogram with tears freely falling down his cheeks

he doesn't even notice u next to him until ur thumb swipes the tear away from his cheek

u two just smile at each-other, his arm wrapping around u n pulling u in to his side

“that’s our baby?” he asks, not removing his eyes from the little white blob that barely was the size of a jaw breaker n u just whispered, “yea, it is.”

ur relationship doesn’t exactly get back into what it was at first,,

ur both nervous and cautious around each other

at first he insists he can just sleep on the couch so u can take his bed but u insist u both can sleep together

hyunjin doesn’t mean to but he somehow always winds up with his arm around u n ur bump every morning

he will talk to the bump n tell them how they r gonna have the best mommy n daddy 🥺

“did u know ur mommy is one of my favorite people to be with? i know ur gonna hear the story one day of how we became parents but i have always loved her, even when we weren’t together i loved your mommy. i hope one day you will love someone as much as i love your mommy, i hope you get your mommy’s personality bub.”

ur fake sleeping wbk but u dont move so u can let him talk

around eight months u two are way more comfortable n are getting closer

he lets u borrow his clothes because u used to do that even when u weren’t pregnant and he figured they were more comfortable & better looking than ur maternity outfits 😣

he rly goes the whole nine yards, buying anything u can think of for the baby n he’ll sometimes wake u up from ur sleep (if he’s rly excited) just so he can show u what he bought

hyunjin is in love with u and kkami cuddling together

also when ur due date got closer u both def went out for walks with kkami or played in the dog park with kkami

(u couldn’t really be as active as hyunjin but it was fine with u just watching)

something within hyunjin changes n he just gets so shy n flustered around u ^.^

he’s crushing so hard on u and u can guess he is but then again u two were just living together for the pregnancy

it’s probably three in the morning n hyunjin had just came home

ofc u were crying

a rly cute dog ad was playing with a baby in it as well :(

u explain n hiccup while doing so

hes so s o f t at this moment

he presses a soft kiss to ur lips n ur like wow thats um—

he doesn’t even care how shocked u r this man goes back in for more kisses

“i want you, i wanna be a real family. i wanna one day marry you, have more babies or get other dogs, that’s all i’ve ever wanted since the day we met.”

enywayz u two r dating,, a g a i n

spooning half of the time during ur last few weeks of pregnancy, but the boys come over frequently n for some reason jeongin is always bringing presents?? its cute but u guys RLY didn’t need anymore toys for the baby

u guys r just cuddling n he’s got one hand on ur bump before ur like

“ow,, fuck that hurt.”

“hey don’t swear around the baby!”

u just suppose it’s a hard kick since the baby had been active a lot recently n the pains had been occurring often

kkami is very cuddly today n he’s giving u kisses

hyunjin lowkey jealous cause kkami doesn’t ever give him kisses like that  ⸜( ⌓̈ )⸝

yall ever seen the thing where dogs know pregnant people the best n they can like SENSE something goin on??

well kkami was on it 

baby kkami is sniffing u n just restless in ur lap n its a lil weird cause kkami is ALWAYS sleeping or sitting still cause kkami has turned as lazy as u n hyunjin

u have this feeling but instead u just tell hyunjin u gotta pee :P

newsflash: u didnt n as soon as u got up, boom, theres ur water breaking and running down ur leg

“it feels gross.”

ur literally whining about ur pants while a baby is coming out of ur ... hooha 😳 n hyunjin is freaking out

he’s rushing around the rooms n making sure everything is in the bag and nothing gets left behind

last thing on his mind is changing ur clothes

though he does, putting u in his baggy sweatshirt and a pair of his shorts

hes freaking out lets be honest the thought of u giving birth is fuckin scary

hyunjin is so out of it and spaced out while ur cool n talking normally with pauses everytime theres a contraction

“aish, why are you so worried? i’m the one that should be worried!!”

ur not cool after an u hit the four hours in labor mark

u do not want to be t o u c h e d

touching u is off limits ur so sweaty n ur body feels like its crumbling u cannot deal with someone holding ur hand or holding u

hyunjin just sits there

hes kinda in a different realm while he stares at the clock on the wall

hes so ready to meet the baby but apparently ur body was exactly 4 centimetres not ready :(

hes just trying to distract u by talking with the boys n his other friends, all of the face timing to talk to the parents to be 🥺

yall r wrapping up a call with jeongin when u have the built up pressure feeling again

he doesn’t even explain to jeongin hes so quickly to hang up n ask u whats wrong

“i— it feels like i have to push.”

he’s already pressing the pretty lil white button on ur bed for the nurses n doctors

they confirm that u indeed r ready to push and that the baby is in position

hyunjin trying to take a peek WHAT A WEIRDO

yall hearing ur baby has a head full of hair and u just give hyunjin this look

like WTF no wonder why u had so much heartburn its because of ur fuckin rapunzel baby daddy

here comes the cries, loud n u just heard the quietest sob from beside u which was hyunjin

“it’s a baby boy, congrats!!”

his lil puppy baby boy 🥺

he had a lil pout like his daddy n his brown locks on top of his head

it was kinda creepy how similar they looked

anyways u dont care ur lil boy is p e r f e c t and nobody could dare tell yall different

u would disagree anyways because thats ur lil pouty baby boy n hes so cute 🥺

“we got a pretty good break-up story right? one for the books.”

he’s got baby boy in his arms bundled up but that doesn’t stop u from smacking his arm before kissing him quickly

“yea, we do.”

©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[shozaii]

can u pls gib me kunikida and dazai fluff hcs? i love them sm

(a/n):hello anon! why, of course hehe🥰thank you so much for the request!

@amourzai my cielo helped me with this fic ilysm☁🌹

masterlist 

-------------------------------

fluffy hc’s 

pairings: dazai x reader, kunikida x reader

warnings: none!

dazai osamu

despite being the chaotic person that he is, dazai tends to turn into the mushy soft puddle when he’s with you. swoons around you, always shows you his best side, brags about him being better than chuuya, basically what you see him do to atsushi, but it’s ten times more emphasized and complex.😌

when he wants to confess his feelings, he does it in a quiet, peaceful place. namely, while watching the yokohama sunset. may or may not have found time to walk back home alone with you, held your hand and locked his arm around yours. “i need to show you something special, love~.”

feelings to him is something so cherished, so sophisticated and important. as a person who has gone through a series of emotions; he prefers to let them out in private.

even kneels down and asks, “would you be mine, mon cheri?” while rubbing little circles on the back of your hand.

when dazai confesses, his eyes would look directly into yours. if anything were to bother him; consider his other side to be seen. and we all know we don’t want that to happen.

i don’t know why but i always imagine dazai’s hands to be soft and delicate, and lovely to hold. (yes, i have seen too many gifs of them and i am in love) anything he does with his hands are just so attractive.

blows kisses when he’s like across you. so it becomes a series of sending each other kisses when you’re like one metre apart....and when he really does miss it, he gets up from his seat, leans over and pecks your lips real quick.

height difference is pretty obvious between him and his s/o(unless you’re super tall :0). if you were shorter, consider the t e a s i n g 24/7. if you were nearly as tall/taller than him, the floor is all yours🥴

lowkey wish i was taller rn

okay but real talk - he loves carrying you bridal style. a lot. and here’s the thing, it happens at random timing. for instance, when you’re working on your latest paperwork. during a mission (just to boast how strong he is). very unpredictable but so adorable, you can’t help but blush harder.

“osamu! put me down or else....!”

“or else what, my honey bunch?”

“you’re not getting kisses for a week.”

mans sets you down with raptor speed. unless if he’s in a flirty mood, you would see yourself winning.

yes, he loves seeing you flustered. i feel like you can do so as well - but i headcanon him winning everytime. how do you win this...? maybe kiss him when he least expects it. do it.

cute pet names like belladonna, my love, mon cheri, any new language he learns, he uses them. and if he almost forgets them(because he collects so much), he writes them down on a sticky note, and sticks it on his desk. when he goes back to the dorms, he sticks it on the wall or some place he could remember.

dates with dazai are either during work hours, or the after hours of yokohama. and he makes sure you’re going to have the time of your life on every single date; so he plans a new activity on every one of them.

when he doesn’t have the chance to do so, he pouts. but when it has been replaced with a job given by the president/kunikida, there you go. a date and mission in your hands.

he gets this rush of energy when he realizes that what was supposed to be a relaxing date out just got a whole lot better with the mission.

dazai gives kisses anywhere he likes. nose, lips, cheeks, jawline, the list goes on. he even knows where you prefer him to do so. i’m surprised that he still isn’t a psychic.

double suicide? he would never think of it. all his life, he wants to find a reason to live. he does get his reasons - one of them is you. your tears to him are anguish and heartbreak at its worst. cue you crying while telling him to stay by your side. 

“please...never leave my side,” you sobbed as you buried your face in his chest. “if i can stay alive in this place we call earth for as long as possible, then so can you.”

that moved him so much. a whole lot. “oh, belladonna. don’t you ever think i’m going away.”

silence.

“not without you.”

you punched him, and he couldn’t stop laughing. but he’d stop, giving you an unlimited amount of kisses.

b a b y. dazai is babie.

kunikida doppo

oh my god we have baby number 2.

in his eyes, you were the definition of perfection. he even tries to remember exactly when did he catch feelings for you. it was totally unexpected, according to him.

cue almost all of the members of ada teasing him all the time about him finally finding his ‘ideal’ partner.

but to him, it wasn’t the ideal that mattered anymore. you outmatched almost everything he wrote down. and man, was he the happiest person alive.

how does he confess...? well wonderful question. he didn’t plan it. the members did.

maybe yosano-san called you and told you about another ‘crucial case’ a few blocks away from your completed one and ‘since you were out there, you were perfect for it.’ you agreed because why not?

meanwhile, dazai probably said, ‘this case involves yet another series of men wearing glasses - you and me must go out to end this person.’

of course kunikida goes ??? ‘where are the evidences/pictures???” but dazai brushes it off saying ‘ah~ i left them somewhere.’ to which,,,well you already know. they went out and not even a minute after, the bandaged man goes missing. with the intercom, he leads him to - you guessed it - the exact same place you were in.

‘kunikida! you’re here for the non-existent case too...?”

‘non-existent? OHMYGODDAZAI-’

the line was cut off, and he goes on and on about him, until;

‘i can never be the same when i’m with someone i obliviously like-,’

he’s a huge mess when he’s around you, trust me. so him blabbering that out loud is completely normal.

butterflies in your stomach because you’re so in love with him.

‘i don’t know if this is the right time, but our friends probably did this for us. so i hope you’d be okay if i said my feelings are mutual?”

kunikida is alright with just a little pda, maybe some hand-holding and little ruffles on your hair because he secretly loves how floofy it is🥺when it comes to kissing, the furthest he would go is on your head. nothing more, nothing less.

he needs to maintain his composure *cough* but my mans right here couldn’t, you’re just too perfect.

so when you’re two alone, expect lots and lots of wholesome kisses around your face; and also loads of cuddles. this side of kunikida is what i headcanon today, folks. the ‘soft for you’ side. he lovesss it when he kisses your forehead, he finds it so cute.

p l e a s e kiss him on the cheek, kunikida would be all over the place.

if you go somewhere on a mission with someone else, he would be on his feet. he gets so worried, thinking of what might happen. don’t get me wrong, he trusts you in your job so much; he just doesn’t want you to get hurt.

so when you do return, he’s the first one at the door.

checks if you’ve eaten, if you’ve drank enough water, if you’ve gotten enough sleep. if you’ve not he’s just going to pull you to bed, holding you tight and lulling you to sleep.

during work hours, you walk over to him, wrapping your arms. 

‘y/n....we only do this after work.’

‘so you don’t want my hugs then?’

stays silent and just lets you stay there for as long as you want. he will tolerate you and you only.

kunikida loves you a lot. sometimes he might not show it, but just know that the love he has for you is drastic it tears you up. 

--------------------------------------------------

(a/n): i am s o r r y this took so long! ahh i’ve had so much to do and i really do hope this was worth it!

[whumpingcrow]

Pt.21 "The 'Welcome Home' Committee"

CW: nightmares/PTSD/flashbacks, dehumanizing language/themes, collar mention, aftermath of emotional abuse/gaslighting, tourettes/ticcing, self deprecating whumpee, drugs/alcohol (explicit), discussion of past noncon/dubcon, whumpee expecting noncon/dubcon, injury/blood mention, brief sensory deprivation mention, food mention (let me know if I missed anything!)

Tyson was holding Elias close against him in their shared bed, mind almost entirely occupied with the thought of how happy he was that Elias was home safe. He couldn't be sure, but it looked like he was enjoying the way Tyson was stroking down his back gently, his body arching into the touch. Tyson watched with interest, trying to tell if he was aware of his reaction, if he was asleep. It didn't matter, he decided, he had his Elias in his arms, twitching and stirring and alive, so it didn't matter if he was awake and aware or not. Tyson was observing him closely for any signs of a nightmare just in case he was asleep, but the last time he saw him have one it wasn't evident until he woke up, gasping and searching the dark for a threat, so he was sure he wouldn't be able to tell until it was too late. When he wasn't keeping a watchful eye on Elias, he shifted his focus between the bedroom door and the window, paying extra close attention to any car or person that passed by.

Tyson was ready this time, the doors were locked and the hall light was on, he had a baseball bat hung up on the door. Elias had to feel safe, he would show him that it was ok to be home, that Tyson really wasn't going to let anything bad happen to him, not again.

Still, even with all of the new safety precautions, it wasn't too long after the sun started to rise that Elias bolted out of Tyson's arms and out of bed, his shoulders hitting the wall hard as he stumbled into the corner.

"No! No, no, no! Please God, please!" He cried, arms wrapped around his shaking body as he slowly slid down to the floor, anguished sobs retching him forward. "I'll be g-good! I'll be good!"

"Elias!" Tyson rushed, hopping out of bed and approaching him carefully. "It's ok, you're ok!"

"I told them no! P-please, don't h-hurt me please!!" He had his eyes squeezed shut, arms pulling his legs to his chest to protect his body. Tyson watched him flinch away from injuring hands that were only there in his imagination. Tyson hadn't even tried to touch him yet. "I swear I'll be better!"

"Baby, listen to me," he tried, dropping his voice low to try and counteract Elias's hysteria, "it's me, it's Tyson. No one's gonna hurt you."

Elias shook his head furiously, ducking away further into the corner. He was sobbing and begging incoherently now, his panic manifesting into cries of "please, please d-dont, I'm so sorry, please!" and the like.

Tyson had an idea of what to say to try and calm Elias, but even thinking the words made him bitter. When Allen had first gotten back from August, Tyson and Leo had to adopt some of his heinous language in order to keep Allen calm. Tyson remembered how quickly it worked, how it could make Allen drop his hysteria in only moments. They used it only when they had exhausted all other options, because both Leo and Tyson were upset at how much it felt like speaking to a dog. But it was different with Elias, Tyson couldn't encourage him to stay in the same mindset he'd been forced into, so he wouldn't use the same language August used, he refused to. He tried again, in his own way. "Eli, everything's ok. Look at me, please."

"I c-c-cant!" He sobbed again, thrown back into hysterics. "I won't, August! I'll be good!"

Tyson wanted to put a hole through the wall. Fucking August. He broke Elias, he made him unable to sleep through the night, made him too scared to remember Tyson. It was repulsive, to see the aftermath of such a monster on the person he loved. He thought back to Allen, how fast he was able to calm down at those two, dangerously sweet words. But would Elias even react the same? What if it just made it worse? All of those fears and more ran rampant through his head, but he was running out of options, and Elias wasn't calming down, so he really didn't have another choice.

"Angel," he murmured, extending his hand slowly, trying to coax him to open up a bit, "you're alright. You're...you're a good boy, Eli."

It worked like a charm, and Tyson cringed at the effectiveness. Elias relaxed, uncrossing his arms and leaning forward. He looked so scared still, head turned to the side so he wasn't looking at Tyson, inching out of the corner slowly. His ragged breathing was evening out a little at a time. "I...I...?"

"Yeah, there you go. Good." He smiled softly at Elias in the pale blue morning sun, moving to lean against the wall with him. He was relieved when Elias rested his head against his shoulder, sighing deeply as he did. Tyson looped his fingers around his thigh, squeezing gently. "I've got you, darling."

Elias whimpered, ticcing in small twitches against Tyson. "I'm s-sorry." He breathed, muted by his guilt, barely audible.

"No, don't be, Elias. Are you ok now? Are you back with me?"

"I think so." As he spoke, he turned to look up at Tyson, blinking hard to clear the tears from his eyes. "Hm...Ty." He breathed. "My Tyson."

"Yeah. Yeah, love, that's right." He searched Elias's face for a moment, taking in the remnants of fear leftover from his nightmare. "Do you...you wanna talk about it?"

Elias didn't say anything for a long time, looking away from Tyson and instead out the window as he pondered the question. It was windy, the palm trees just outside were swaying against the breeze. He realized that it must've been early morning, and a twinge of guilt for waking Tyson up like that hit him. He didn't know if he wanted to talk about it, about August or the strangers or the pain. But Tyson deserved to know, and he was asking like maybe he wanted to hear what happened. So Elias turned his attention back to Tyson and started talking.

"I don't understand what I did wrong. I don't know why he stopped… pretending to care about me." The weight of the sentence made him feel tired all over again, and he was frightened to be admitting to his confusion. He was an idiot, to not even know what he did to be punished. He knew that it was well deserved, but that's about where the understanding stopped. "I mean...I know I messed up somehow, but I can't remember what I did. He just stopped c-caring."

"You didn't do anything, Eli. It was all him."

"No...Ty, he cared about me, at least a little. He went through all that trouble to...how could I not be good enough for him? What does that say about me?"

"It says that you're too good for a scumbag like that. Maybe he just finally realized that."

Elias froze. He didn't believe it, of course, but the words made something glimmer behind his tears. "Too...too good?"

"Yes, love," Tyson cooed softly, taking his hand, "he knew that people like him don't deserve good people like you. He must've just dropped the facade."

"So who am I...Am I good enough for you? Not too good?" His voice was desperate, borderline hopeful, if Tyson dared to believe that.

"Mhm. You're perfect." He chuckled softly, squeezing his hand ever so gently. "And I want you so badly. Good or not."

Elias finally broke a smile, a genuine, almost carefree, grin as he looked up at Tyson in adoration. He was still shaking, but his breathing was back to normal and he felt more grounded. Usually August would force him to ride out the fear from the nightmares on his own, then punish him later for keeping him awake with his whimpering. "Sorry I woke you up like that." He added it, just for good measure, because Tyson didn't hurt him, he wouldn't, but he was still nervous. He wondered when that would stop.

"You didn't, baby. Besides, it's morning anyway." He stood up, pulling Elias up with him. "Also uh...Allen's been asking about you. If you're ok with it he wanted to come check on you later."

"T...today?" He mumbled, sinking back onto the mattress and watching Tyson pick a shirt out from the closet.

"You can get settled in first, I don't want to overwhelm you-"

Elias could laugh. Settle in, what a joke. Ten months in France made this place he used to call home feel distant and strange, how could he possibly settle in? "Today's fine. I just wanna...wanna wake up and stuff first."

"You sure? You've only been home a day."

"I'm sure," he smiled at him to really sell it, and Tyson nodded approvingly.

Elias washed the dishes as they waited for Allen to show up, Tyson was tidying up in the other room. Supposedly Leo was coming too, and Elias was heavy with fear. He'd be sent away before they got there, surely, given substances to shut him up. Or maybe Tyson would allow Elias to be used, maybe he'd watch.

Elias was afraid at the dreadful excitement he felt at the idea. He was sick to his stomach with anxiety at the possibility of something like that happening, but he couldn't see past the obsessive need to be touched, to be used. He finished the dishes, ducking off to the bathroom to make sure he looked ok. His pale hair curled into small waves in front of his face, it felt unnatural to not find any dried blood in it. His wide eyes and flushed face were still tainted with injuries, but there was nothing he could do about it besides wait for them to heal. Besides, the people who used him usually liked him bruised up anyways, they usually kissed his injuries with patronizing softness or pressed on his bruises to watch him squirm. He fixed his shirt, then realized all at once that he was too sober for this, that he couldn't be used this aware. Couldn't be good. He began to frantically search through the cabinets for anything that might make him feel better, pills or even mouthwash. His eyes fell onto a pill bottle on the top shelf of the mirror, his hands fumbled over it quickly. Tiny, colorful pills spilled into his hands, it was recognizably molly. He didn't know why Tyson had it, but it was August's favorite to give Elias, and so he knew it well. He threw two pills back, chasing them with water from the sink, and then returned the bottle back to its spot. After he started to feel it just a little, he looked back into the mirror and fixed himself up a little more, forcing a smile at his reflection, just to see how it looked. Something was off, he didn't look right, he was worried that if he looked anything less than what he was used to, he would fall apart. The ground dropped from under him just a little when he realized what it was: his bare neck. He needed his collar, people were coming, he had to have it. Fucking stupid, he thought, spent months wishing you could take that thing off and now you suddenly want it again? Stupid fucking idiot.

In one of the drawers he found a silver chain, he inspected the little pendant dangling on the end, at the way the blue jewel in the middle caught the light when he turned it. He almost wanted to put it back, it was too nice for him, but he decided that it was better than nothing. He slipped it over his head, it was loose, but it would work fine. He looked so much better already.

"Elias, you ok in there?" Tyson was asking from the hallway. His voice was tight with anxiety and Elias instantly reached for the door handle and stepped out.

"I'm ok," he smiled at him, his grin lopsided so that his chipped tooth was showing just a little. "I was just getting ready."

Tyson tilted his head at him, smiling softly. "You look nice. How do you feel?"

Elias offered a lighthearted shrug, shuffling forward and standing up on his toes to kiss Tyson's nose softly. "M'ok. I cleaned the kitchen."

"I saw!" He took Elias's hand in his own and pulled him closer. "Thank you, for that. Very helpful."

Elias beamed at the praise, and Tyson was reminded again of Allen, how he lit up like a damn Christmas tree when someone said anything close to a compliment or approval, and it was quickly becoming evident that Elias was going to be the same. It was disgustingly cute how reactive they both were, how their lips twitched into a sick smile, their eyes fluttered helplessly. So beautiful, so tragic. He got this way through horrible mistreatment and brainwashing violence, but he looked so genuinely ecstatic that Tyson wasn't sure if he ever wanted to stop.

"Uh...they're waiting outside. We can let them in when you feel ready."

Elias took a breath, forcing himself to nod. He reminded himself to keep his composure, allow himself to be movable and soft and pretty. He was trembling all over, in excitement or fear he wasn't sure. Tyson rubbed his shoulder gently, still giving him a moment. When Elias finally seemed to come to terms with being around other people, he looked nervous all over again, but this time with a hint of eagerness behind his eyes. Tyson wondered how often he was allowed to see other people when he was with August. He said that August had kept him hidden away, but what exactly did that entail? When Allen was with him, he came back not used to light or sound because August had been keeping him depraved of those luxuries. Elias didn't seem like that though, he just seemed...skittish, too vigilant and too self hating to be around others. He spoke and carried himself like he knew he was less than them, and it bothered him just to be near them. And yet, at the same time, he looked exhilarated at the idea of putting himself into that position at any second. Finally, he looked up at Tyson with a wavering smile and nodded at him to tell him he was ready.

Allen looked way too good, Elias was completely baffled at how healed he seemed, like nothing had ever been wrong with him. How had he been with August and healed, how was he not broken forever? Elias didn't think he would ever be able to get there himself, all of this damage was irreversible, he couldn't imagine himself with a flushed, healthy face and a carefree grin. Or an ability to walk into a room with seemingly no issues or qualms, just existing. How could he do that?

He was also the first person to talk to Elias, which made him a little breathless at how unexpected it was. He stayed far enough away when he waved at him, politely saying "hey, Elias, how are you doing?"

Elias flinched, looking to Tyson for permission to speak, but he was given only a glance, and he was left confused and too scared to answer. Instead he just nodded his head once as a response. He looked down to see his knees were visibly wobbling, he didn't realize he was also squeezing his hands into tight fists at his sides. He couldn't force himself to relax, even though he wanted to, the molly in his system felt like metal in his veins, forcing him rigid and stiff.

Tyson quickly realized that Elias was more overwhelmed than he had hoped for, that all of his promises that he would be ok and he was sure they could come were quickly falling apart. He was standing so straight, like he'd collapse in on himself if he let his muscles relax at all. His legs were shaking with the effort of standing, Tyson wanted to scoop him up and hold him close to his chest, take away the strain of being upright, relieve him in any way he could.

"How are you settling in, pal?" Leo asked him, watching his head drop down instantly as he was addressed. He inched toward Tyson just a little, glancing up at him yet again. This time, Tyson caught his eye and realized what the look was about.

"It's ok," he whispered, rubbing his shoulder gently to reassure him, "it's alright, Eli, you can talk to them."

Elias was thankful for the permission to speak, he wanted to interact with them so bad he was buzzing, he wanted to speak to them and be heard and acknowledged. It had been so long since he'd been around people who understood him, who he could have conversation with. He worried for a split second that he might've forgotten how. "It's different. France is very different."

Leo chuckled at that, nodding his head. "Yeah, I would imagine. It's beautiful though, I hear."

Elias nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, the beach is my favorite."

Tyson was smiling at him, at how eager he was to speak, how even though he had been through hell there, he still found something beautiful in it. Elias had been trapped with August and made to do awful things that Tyson wasn't even sure the extent of yet, and still he had picked out a favorite place.

"Well I hope you didn't get too used to the food there, cause you'll have to deal with my cooking tonight." He smiled teasingly, and once Elias heard Tyson laughing, he realized it was a joke. Someone was joking with him, like an actual person. He smiled brightly at him, shaking his head.

He didn't have a response though, smiling at him seemed to be enough. Leo followed Tyson into the kitchen, leaving Allen and Elias to be alone in the living room. Allen had sat down on the couch, and Elias occasionally looked up from his spot in the center of the room, wondering if he was supposed to follow Ty. It seemed too late now, and besides, he knew in the back of his mind that he belonged here, to be observed as a centerpiece, touched if anyone felt the need for it. He wondered if, he hoped that, Allen felt the need for it. Or anyone at all, really.

"Wanna come sit with me, Elias?" Allen checked suddenly, watching as Elias straightened up to look at him, eyes wide. He quickly nodded before stumbling over to the couch, hesitating a moment before sinking down to the floor on his knees. Allen looked rather bewildered at the motion, his face flushed and mouth parted in surprise. The movement was familiar to Allen (August was consistent, he'd give him that), but it was shocking to see it from this perspective, made him want to push Elias out of the way and take his place. It took him a good thirty seconds to gather his thoughts, and when he did he felt sick to his stomach as he looked into Elias's fearful puppy dog eyes. "Oh...you don't have to..." He started to choke out.

Tyson froze when he came into the living room to see Elias like that, down on his knees with his head bowed pathetically, right in front of a flustered, uneasy looking Allen. They'd only been gone for five minutes, what had caused this? He may have grabbed Elias's shoulders a little too hard when he hoisted him back upright, causing a confused mewl to escape his throat.

"Don't sit down there like that, Eli," he scolded, "you sit on the couch, like everyone else."

"B...but I..." Elias shook his head in weak protest before shutting himself up, cringing at the stern look on Tyson's face. He was frustrated, if they wanted him on the couch why didn't they say so? Why did they want to confuse him so much? Was it to make him fail, make him easier to punish?

Tyson nodded at him once, turning and making his way reluctantly back to the kitchen. Elias huffed to himself, his shoulders drooping sadly.

"Hey," Allen said softly, grabbing his thigh gently, "it's ok. I remember when I got back I didn't use furniture for weeks. Tyson knows better now, he won't let you do that."

Elias looked at the hand on his leg. Thank God, he thought. He smiled softly at Allen, nodding along to his voice. So that was it, then, Tyson wanted him on the couch. He could look pretty on the couch, August sometimes enjoyed that.

"I know Tyson can get a little...upset, sometimes, but he means well. He just gets discouraged when he can't help."

Elias nodded eagerly again, eyes still on Allen's hand on him. Was his hand tight, or was he just imagining it? It was warm, it fit comfortably around him, and Elias found himself leaning against his arm in response to it. "Thank you," he whispered, "you've always been so kind to me."

"Well of course. What you're going through it's...well, kindness is definitely something you could use right now." Allen was smiling at him, in a way that no one had smiled at him in a long time. It was pure and friendly, not malicious or dangerous or full of lust. It was foreign, it made his chest feel hollow and sad. He didn't deserve to be looked at with such fondness. He would have ran and hid, if the smile didn't also make him feel so nice and warm all over. That made him even more upset, he didn't want to like it, not when he wasn't supposed to be receiving it in the first place. That was like enjoying a gift that had someone else's name on it, and he felt guilty for it.

Allen must've noticed his anxiety, and he pulled his hand away slowly, fingers slipping off his leg one at a time. Elias looked away from him entirely. He wanted to be back on the floor, he wanted his collar, he wanted to be hurt or touched, he wanted to be higher than he was. Most of all, he wanted to know what the hell everyone around here was expecting of him. August had rules, and even outside of those rules, Elias had gotten pretty good at reading his body language so he could guess what August wanted from him. Here was so different, he didn't know what was and wasn't allowed, he didn't know what Allen wanted from him when he grabbed his leg, or what Tyson wanted when he randomly left the room without a word to him. It was all so jumbled, made Elias feel so lost. The molly made it easier for Elias to speak, to listen, but he was still miserable and confused.

"What's wrong, Elias?" Allen asked in a hushed voice, like their conversation was ultra secret, like Leo and Tyson weren't allowed to know that it was taking place.

"It's just hard." He whispered back, folding his hands neatly in his lap. "I don't know what anyone wants anymore. When I try to guess I just look fu-fucking stupid. It's confusing."

"Have you tried asking?"

Elias gawked up at him, like the idea was bizarre. "Asking...?"

"Yeah. If you're not sure, just ask." He said this like it was simple, it couldn't go wrong. "Try it, ask me what I want."

Elias blinked at him, clearly bewildered. "Uh...wh-what do you...want?"

Allen smiled at him, nodding approvingly. "Right now, I want to sit on the couch and talk to you, and I also want dinner, but I'm waiting for it to be finished."

"O...oh." Elias breathed, looking back down at his hands. He guessed that was easy enough, the world didn't crumble around him. He couldn't hide his amazement, he couldn't believe Allen could easily say he wanted things, he must've not been taught that it was against the rules. Or maybe it was just something he outgrew, once he was away from August. Elias didn't think he'd ever outgrow it.

"What about you? What do you want?"

The confused, almost mangled, whimper Elias let out was telling enough, Allen wasn't supposed to ask him that. He was only just now realizing that it was ok to ask others that question, he obviously wasn't ready to answer it.

"Oh I don't... I c-cant..." He stammered, shaking his head vigorously. This was a test, one he could pass. He knew better than to say he wanted anything, he'd been proving that since he came back. He remembered when he accidentally begged Tyson to touch him, using the word 'need'. He must've told Allen, and now Allen was trying to get him to slip up again. He wouldn't, he would be good. He could be a mindless pet with no wants or needs.

"It's ok," Allen reassured him, his hand was on his thigh again, this time a little higher, "you don't have to answer. I get it."

Elias was breathless, he couldn't tell if it was from the question or Allen touching him, but he couldn't seem to breathe deep enough. He couldn't have wants, but still, the warm palm on his leg was enough to make him tremble. If he were allowed to want, he would want someone to lay him down and touch him everywhere, make him feel good because he hadn't felt good in so long, stroke his hair, call him 'good pet', call him 'bunny', tell him he was beautiful and perfect. If he were allowed to want, he would want that so bad it would make him cry.

"Shit, Elias, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to upset you," Allen was rushing. Elias's cheeks were wet with his tears, his face was blank and sheet white. Tyson must've heard the commotion, and it wasn't long before he was in front of him, kneeling down to be at his level.

"Hey, Eli, what's going on, love?" He asked him gently, his hands on his shoulders. They weren't grabbing him as tightly now as when he put him on the couch. "Why are you crying?"

Elias wiped his face, shaking his head quickly. "I'm s-sorry!" He whined. "I don't know I j...just..."

Tyson shook his head dismissively, pulling Elias against his chest and rubbing his back. "It's ok. Everything's ok." Tyson held him close as his shoulders shook, allowing him to tire himself out a little. Once he seemed calm, Tyson pulled away from him, stroking his cheek gently as he did. At some point Allen had gotten up and left them alone in the room together, and Elias couldn't help but feel a little relaxed that he wasn't around to watch him fuck up any more. "You alright?"

Elias nodded, sniffling miserably. "I'm sorry."

"No worries, love. Go ahead and get cleaned up, dinner's done."

Elias obeyed instantly, standing up and heading to the bathroom wordlessly. He looked so rough around the edges, washed out from crying and in desperate need of an actual good nights sleep. He debated skipping dinner and going to lie down instead, but then he remembered how much he ached to talk to everyone, be around them, so he changed his mind. He never again wanted to be alone in a separate room when there were people around, it wasn't ever an enjoyable experience. Once he was decidedly more put together, he joined everyone back in the kitchen, setting himself in a chair between Tyson and Leo, mouth glued shut and eyes focused on the plate of food in front of him.

[writer1]

A regretful Wolf and his Beauty

Chapter Twelve

Beast!Rex x Fem!reader

Summary: As punishment for his actions, young prince Rex was cursed to become a monster by a witch. The only thing that saved him from his fate was an enchantress, who gave him a condition. He has to find true love in order to redeem himself and he only has until the last petal of the enchanted rose falls. Rex's family helps you by guiding your way into his heart. Rex's fate now lies in your hands.

Warnings: mental and physical child abuse, injury, blood, dislocation, trauma, feelings are hurt, anxiety, emotional and physical pain, fear, shouting, blame, guilt, manipulation, lies, neglect, mistreatment, mention of death. 

A/N: This is a collaborative fic with @ahsokatano-thetogruta.

Stutter would be sticking his tongue out in concentration, if he could that is. The sixteen year old is painting a picture of a stunning sunset at the moment. Jesse is watching him as Kix watches sixteen year old Sabine paint a picture of an explosion.

The two have always loved to paint, it’s the reason the two were turned into paintbrushes. Stutter especially loves it, it started as a way for him to bond with Rex and his brother’s. Rex had gotten him into painting when he first arrived at the castle, and it grew from there. Stutter’s family didn’t treat him right, they hated his stutter. His mother died a few days after he was born, his father would beat him when he got angry, but never laid a hand on his brothers.

His brothers would push him around and make fun of his stutter, they told him that he was nothing, and that no one would ever love him. No one outside the household knew what was really going on, his father made sure to never hit him where it was visible. 

Rex and his brothers always came for visits to their uncle’s, they loved their cousin’s. But they had noticed something off, Stutter always seemed afraid of his father and brothers. He seemed to hide away from everyone a lot, no one realized what was going on until Stutter was three. 

It was one of their few visits that they finally figured it out, and none of them will ever forget it. 

Thirteen years ago

Stutter's oldest brother, Adam, has just turned twelve years old. Rex, Cody, Fives, Echo and Bly have gone to their Uncle's to celebrate their cousin's birthday. The extravagantly decorated cake sits on the table, along with lots of presents that he has had from his family and other relatives, though most of them are from his Father because he spoils his sons, except for one.

“Where is Stutter?” Everyone is sitting in the lounge as they partake in the activities that Adam has chosen. Adam rolls his eyes. “Why? Does it matter where that Shrimp is?” His half hearted answer makes Rex's blood boil, but he keeps calm and level headed as Cody places a hand on his shoulder, sensing his Rex'ika's anger.

How dare he call him that horrible name, they always call Stutter that, and he hates it. Rex stands up “I need to go to the refresher.” No one but his own brothers acknowledge him. Rex walks upstairs, looking through the few rooms that are on the upstairs floor. He comes to a door and tries to open it. It's locked. Rex worries a little as he hears a quiet sobbing sound. “Stutter? Are you in there? It's Rex.” 

“R-Rex?” the three year old boy sniffles as he frantically wipes away the tears from his face, not wanting Rex to see that he was crying. “May I come in?” There's a long pause before he hears the click of the lock. The door slowly opens, revealing Stutter's sweet, little face peering through the gap. 

He steps away from the door to allow Rex in. “Are you alright, Stutter? Do you not want to join us for your brother's birthday party?” The question almost makes Stutter cry again. He doesn't want to think of Adam as his brother, not after what they do to him. Stutter just shakes his head. “N-No, I-I-I'm not f-feeling well.” His shoulders droop a little as he holds one arm nervously.

Rex can tell that something is wrong. “Have you been crying?” Stutter shakes his head abruptly. “It's okay, Stutter. You can tell me anything, you know that right?” He goes to walk closer to the three year old to give him a hug, but Stutter jolts away. Rex shows a concerned expression, seeing Stutter give an apologetic look. “What's wrong?-” that's when he sees it.

There's something dark at the collar of Stutter's oversized shirt. It looks like he buttoned his shirt up the best he could to hide whatever it is underneath. “What is that? Could you unbutton your shirt slightly for me please?” Rex asks kindly, but the young boy freezes and doesn't say anything, so Rex approaches him slowly so as not to startle him, crouches down, then gently starts to unbutton the shirt. Four buttons later, he can see it fully now. A black and purple bruise is apparent at the base of his neck and just above his chest. 

The shock and fear in Rex's eyes makes Stutter feel nervous, scared that his Father will find out that someone knows about his bruise. Stutter was threatened that if someone else found out about his bruises, then he'd get another one. “What…how did you get this?” The worry in Rex only increases as Stutter trembles and tears fill his eyes. Rex pulls him into a hug, trying to make the small boy feel safe as he cries into his chest. “Shh, it's alright. I'm here for you.” 

Once he had calmed down, Stutter sniffles as he pulls away from Rex, his nose slightly snotty, eyes red and sore from crying so much in one day. “I...F-Father s-s-said t-t-that I d-deserved i-i-it.” Rex feels anger. “No, this is not what you deserve Stutter. Why would you think that, what did he tell you?”

Stutter tears up more, choking up on a sob. “Father a-a-and b-brother’s said that I-I k-k-killed mother, t-they s-s-said that I-I-I’m b-bad. My b-brothers also s-said that I-I’m not g-good e-e-enough to be t-their b-brother.” Rex feels anger flow through him, who in their right mind would tell a child that they killed their mom. That’s disgusting! 

“It was not your fault Stutter, they are lying to you! Your mom was sick, it was no one’s fault. Now, we need to talk to Cody.” Stutter trembles in fear, tears spilling from his eyes, Rex wraps his arms around him. He picks the three year old up, carrying him out of the room and carefully downstairs. Rex carries Stutter straight to the lounge, rubbing the sobbing child’s back gently.

Rex walks in, he sees that his Uncle has joined everyone in the room. “Cody!” Cody jumps up as soon as Rex calls, running over to the two. Stutter’s father jumps up as well, Rex sets Stutter down, and Cody sees the bruise right away.

“What the hell happened?” Cody asks, wiping Stutters tears away gently and taking a closer look at the bruise. Rex turns, glaring at his uncle. “Ask him.” Rex tells him with disgust, staring straight at Stutter’s father. Cody’s brow furrows in confusion, and he turns to his Uncle. “What is Rex talking about, Uncle?”

His Uncle shakes his head, giving Cody a comforting smile. “I have no idea, Stutter must have fallen, come here son.” Stutter’s father goes to walk over to Stutter, who cowers in fear, grabbing onto Rex for dear life. Rex scowls at him “If he fell, then why did he lock himself in his room and not come to us straight away?” Stutter's Father glares at Rex, in warning, as he continues to walk closer. 

Cody’s eyes narrow. “Stay back.” He tells his Uncle firmly, then he turns to Stutter. “Stutter, you need to tell me the truth. Did your father do this to you?”

Stutter whimpers, nodding. Cody feels anger coarse through him. “Stutter also told me that his father said that he deserved it, Cody. And both our Uncle and our cousins told Stutter that he killed his mother!”

“They told him WHAT!!?” Cody turns to his Uncle who has started storming over. “I said nothing of the sort, the brat’s lying.” He pushes Cody out of the way, grabbing Stutter roughly by his left arm and yanking him away from Rex, so hard that a loud snap-like popping noise sounds around the room. Stutter screams and cries out in pain, making everyone, but his father and brothers, gasp. Cody jumps right into action. He grabs his uncle's arm and gently pry’s Stutter’s hand from his grip, the little boy runs straight into Rex’s arms while clutching his left arm from the pain, being unable to move it whatsoever.

Rex hugs him close, wrapping his arms tightly around Stutter. “It’s okay now, I’ve got you, he can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.” 

Cody does his best to keep as much distance between his Uncle and Stutter “You're such a little brat, Shrimp! Get out, NOW! You're not staying here anymore, I've had enough of your stupid behavior!” His Father shouts at him, making Stutter scream out, just wanting to never hear his voice again, wanting to be free of the agonizing pain he's been in for so long, mentally and physically. Cody shoves his Uncle back. “ENOUGH! You have no right to call him that!” Cody turns to Rex. “Rex, get Stutter out of here, now.”

Rex doesn't waste another moment. He turns on his heels as quick as he can and bolts down the hallway and out of the front door. He can hear footsteps following behind him, also running at a fast pace. Without stopping to see who it is, Rex just holds Stutter close with a hand cupping the back of his head. Stutter looks behind Rex to see his three older brothers chasing both of them. The three of them had picked up some rocks along the way to throw at their brother and cousin.

Rex took all of the hits on his back, making sure that none hit Stutter. A few painful hits later, the rocks had stopped being thrown at them. Rex stops to see Fives, Echo and Bly tackling them to the ground, holding them down. “Rex, just keep running! We've got them pinned!” Bly shouts over to him, holding down the oldest of the brothers, making Rex start to run again, comforting Stutter by giving him words of reassurance that everything will be alright now.

Back at the house, right after Rex had run outside with Stutter, his three cousins and brothers running too, Stutter's Father just stands completely still, not too far away from Cody. The sixteen year old turns to leave him be, but the low, dark voice sends a shiver down his spine. “Where do you think you're going?” Cody feels fear and confusion at the same time. “I'm going back home now. I don't want to stay here any longer-”

“You took him away from me! It's All Your Fault! If you and your kriffing brother hadn't got in the way, then that Shrimp would have still been mine!” The venom in his voice angers Cody, making him turn around again. “I told you not to call him that!!” Cody runs towards him, swinging his fist at his Uncle. Cody wishes Obi Wan was here. 

His boyfriend is brilliant when it comes to hand to hand combat. Cody on the other hand, he's too slow, allowing his Uncle to dodge his attack. A fearful gasp escapes Cody as he feels a hand yank him backwards, then a burning sensation around his neck as his Uncle wraps a hand around his throat, lifting him off of the ground. Cody claws at the hand, desperately gasping for air, some fearful tears spilling from his eyes. “S--t-op. P-Ple--ase.” Cody chokes out, wanting to be let go of and put down.

Instead, his Uncle tenses his expression and widens his eyes as he throws the sixteen years old boy across the room. Cody's life flashes before his eyes as he heads straight for a small coffee table. There's no way of stopping in mid air now. He wishes that Obi Wan was here to save him, just wanting to be held by him, wanting to--

Cody makes harsh contact with the edge of the oddly shaped table, cutting and splitting the left side of his face from his temple to his cheek, around his eye. He lands on the floor with a painful thump, letting out an agonizingly pained scream that echoes throughout the room. He clutches his face, tears flooding out of his eyes now. Cody sees red flow in front of his left eye, making it sting, a lot. Moving his hand away from his face, he sees, using his right eye, that his hand is covered in blood. Lots of it.

His Uncle walks forward, towering over him. “Get out…NOW! I SWEAR THAT I WON'T GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE, BOY!” Not a moment later, Cody scrambles to his feet, hand clutching his face again as he runs as fast as he can out of the house. He sees Rex running in the distance as the three of his cousins push past Cody and back into the house, slamming the door shut behind them and locking it immediately.

“Cody!” Fives, Echo and Bly call out to him, rushing over, only to see the blood seeping through his fingers. “What happened?” Fourteen year old Bly asks in complete worry for his Ori'Vod. Cody doesn't respond, he just wobbles on his feet as his vision becomes blurry. “Woah, hey. It's okay, we've got you, Ori'Vod.” The three of them support Cody as they make their way back to the castle.

Rex and Stutter finally arrive at the castle, pushing through the gate and running up the stairs and into the main hall. At the moment the only people in the hall are Obi Wan, Knight Plo, 99 and the bad batch. They all look confused when they see him breathing heavily, with young Stutter clutched in his arms.

“Rex? What happened? Why do you have Stutter here?” 99 asks, and Rex carries Stutter over. “Uncle has been abusing Stutter, so we took him.” Rex sets Stutter down, and everyone gasps when they see the large bruise. 99 hobbles over, kneeling to take a closer look.

“Did your dad really do this, Stutter?” Stutter nods, tears still drip down his face. “His father and our cousins also told him that he is the reason that his mother died, I also don’t think this was the first time that this has occurred either. Remember the times we offered to help with Stutter, but Uncle wouldn’t allow us to change his diaper or clothes?” 99 nods while Plo leaves the room for a minute, when he comes back he has Kix with him. His cousin is training to be a doctor, he’s almost done so he’s certified enough to check Stutter over.

Kix Starts checking him over when Cody, Fives, Echo and Bly all walk in, everyone gasps when they see Cody bleeding profusely from a wound on the corner of his forehead. Obi Wan goes running, so does Kix. Rex’s eyes widen. “Cody, what happened?!”

“It- It was Uncle! He attacked me.” Cody stumbles, and Obi Wan has to grab him so that he doesn’t hit the ground. Rex hears another gasp, he turns to see 99 and his uncle Plo with Stutter. They have taken his shirt off so that everyone can see the bruises littering the young boy's body, some are yellowing, telling everyone that they’re older and some are bright purple.

Kix looks angry when he sees them, but he continues patching up Cody first as Rex, Plo and 99 take care of Stutter. Everyone is angry over what happened. Wrecker hugs Stutter close, him and his brothers know what it’s like to be unloved by their parents. “It’s okay Stutter, you’re going to be safe here.” Wrecker whispers quietly, nuzzling the top of the three year old's head.

“Uncle Plo, do you think that you can gather a group of knights and go to arrest my uncle?” Plo nods. “Of course, I would be happy to.” with that Plo leaves the room, and Kix finishes up with Cody, who’s already looking a little better. A bandage has been wrapped around the left side of his face and over his eye, leaving him to only see out of his right eye. Obi Wan gives Cody a sweet kiss on his right cheek.

Kix leaves Cody with Obi Wan, walking over to check Stutter over. “Can you check his left arm, Kix? His father grabbed and yanked it pretty hard. Then there was a sort of snap-like popping noise.” Rex asks, and Kix nods. “Can you move Wrecker? I know that you want to comfort him, but I need to check him over.” Wrecker nods, moving to stand beside his brother’s. All four of the boys look angry, they’ve visited Stutter before in the year they’ve lived with 99 and absolutely love their little cousin. They can’t believe that they’ve never noticed anything wrong.

Kix checks Stutter’s arm, he gasps, then sobs when Kix presses on his shoulder. “It’s not broken, It is dislocated. Obi Wan, can you come over and hold him still, I’m going to have to pop it back in.” Obi Wan nods and walks over, not wanting to leave Cody, but making sure that Stutter holds still while popping his shoulder back into place is important. He grimaces. He knows that this is going to hurt him. “Boys, why don’t you leave the room, I’ll call you when they’re done.” 99 tells the bad batch. The boys nod, leaving the room. 

“Bly, please take Rex, Fives and Echo out.” Rex shakes his head. “I’m not leaving him.” Cody sighs. “Rex’ika-”  “No! I’m not leaving him. Not after what he's been through.” Rex stresses, standing his ground. Cody turns to Bly. “Take the other two out, Rex can stay.” Bly nods while he takes the twins out of the room, Rex walks over to Stutter.

“You can hold my hand if you like.” Rex offers out his hand, making Stutter feel nervous. “I...I-I've n-n-never held a-anyone's hand b-before.” Rex, Cody and Obi Wan all look at eachother, sharing a sympathetic look for the three year old.

Rex smiles sadly. “It's alright, you can hold my hand whenever you'd like to.” Stutter reaches out his hand, touching Rex's palm but instantly flinches away. Rex smiles comfortingly “It's alright, you're safe now.” The final bit of encouragement makes Stutter cautiously but comfortably take his hand. The feeling is nice and comforting, way more pleasant than being hit or beaten. The soft feel of Rex's skin feels nice, making Stutter let out a small sigh of relief, feeling safer.

Obi Wan holds onto Stutter as Kix gently grips his arm. “Okay, I'm going to count to three. One. Two-” on two Kix quickly pops his arm back into place, making the three year old scream, then start crying. “Shh, shh. We’re done Stutter, it’s okay.” Kix comforts him quietly, he hates seeing kids in any kind of pain. Rex gently hugs Stutter close to his chest while Obi Wan pets his hair. Kix starts putting a cast on Stutter’s arm since he thankfully brought everything with him in his bag. Once he finishes and It’s dry Kix places it in a sling.

“There, all done. Why don’t you go show him around the castle Rex?” Rex nods. “C'mon, Stutter. Let's give you a tour.” Before he starts to walk, he feels a small hand hold his right hand, seeing that Stutter still looks nervous, but he's seeming a little braver already. 

Rex takes Stutter around most of the castle, showing him the most interesting places like the library, drawing room, conservatory, all those kinds of places. When they reached the kitchen, the lovely aroma of food made Stutter's stomach growl. “Are you hungry?” Stutter shakes his head. “I-I-I'm f-fine. I'm n-n-not hungry.” His stomach growls again, more violently. 

“You are allowed to eat something whenever you'd like. My cousin Gregor can make you something if you'd like?” Rex offers the boy with a smile, and the boy nods his head. “What would you like?” 

“I-I'll have w-whatever I-I-I'm given, I promise I w-will eat it e-e-even i-i-if I d-don't l-like it.” Stutter's reply was quick, making Rex frown a little. “If you don't like something, I promise that we won't force you to eat it.” Rex squeezes Stutter's hand reassuringly. 

“O-Okay, t-t-thank y-you.” Stutter smiles for the first time, filling Rex's heart with happiness. “You're welcome, though may I suggest the waffles and strawberries? They are very tasty and I live having them for breakfast.” Stutter nods, making him a little excited for it just by the name of it. He was never told the names of food he was given, all he knew was that it tasted horrible.

About ten minutes later, Stutter sat down at the table, enjoying his waffles and strawberries. It's the best thing that he has eaten in his entire life. A few tears of happiness spill out of his eyes and roll down his cheeks as he munches away. Rex smiles as he watches Stutter finish the rest of his food, letting him know that he's full now. 

They carry on the tour for a bit, when suddenly Stutter yawns. “S-Sorry.”

“There's no need to apologise, Stutter. Would you like a nap?” the three year old hesitates before he yawns again, nodding his head as he rubs his eye sleepily. “Here, would you like me to carry you?”

“Y-Yes p-p-please.” Stutter lifts his arms up a little as Rex picks him up, allowing Stutter to wrap his little body around him.

Rex carries Stutter to the West wing to have a nap on his bed. Setting the sleepy three year old down gently into the bed and readjusting the pillow beneath his head, Stutter speaks again “R-Rex?”

“Yes, Stutter?” Stutter has a nervous look again. “I-If it's not a-a-a p-problem, c-could you s-s-stay w-with me?” 

“Of course I can, would you like me to lie next to you?” Rex smiles as he sits on the edge of the bed, seeing Stutter nod. Rex swings his legs onto the bed, wrapping his arms carefully around Stutter.

xxx

Stutter wakes up with a quiet gasp, he had a nightmare again. Stutter takes in his surroundings, seeing Rex and remembering where he was. That’s when he felt the wetness underneath him, he looks down and sees the wet spot on his pants and the bed surrounding it. Fear strikes him, his dad would beat him for wetting his bed, and he knows that he’s going to get a beating from one of the adults for wetting Rex’s bed.

Stutter gets up, panicking. He doesn’t want a beating, he’s breathing rapidly and he feels so much fear. Stutter ends up throwing up all over the floor, waking Rex. Rex jumps up out of bed and rushes over to Stutter, rubbing his back soothingly “I-I'm s-s-sorry, R-Re-” the young boy continues to throw up, choking on his vomit a little as tears prick in the corners of his eyes. “Shh, it's alright. Just let it out.”

Stutter spluttered out the last drops of vomit, shivering a little. Rex frowns “Here, come to the refresher with me.”

“B-But t-the mess and t-the wet b-b-bed, I'll g-get told o-o-off if I d-d-don't c-clean it u-up.” “Nevermind that, it's alright. You're not in trouble. These things happen sometimes, but it's okay. I promise.” Stutter feels confusion as Rex helps him to the refresher. All Stutter had ever been told that if he makes a mess, he'll get in big trouble that ends up with him being beaten. 

“Alright, let's get you cleaned up shall we?” Rex smiles at the three year old, still looking terrified. “Here, let me wipe off as much as I can and then you can have a bath if you'd like one?” 

Stutter nods as Rex uses a towel to wipe up as much of the vomit as he can. Rex starts the bath up, squeezing some soap into it, and soon Stutter sees the steam and fluffy bubbles coming from the bath “W-Who's t-that for?” Rex looks over to what Stutter is pointing to, seeing that it's the bath he is asking about. “It's for you,  why?”

“I-I was o-o-only allowed t-to h-have c-c-cold water b-baths.” 

“Wait, you haven't had a hot bath before?” Rex sounds surprised, Stutter shakes his head nervously. “N-no, sorry.”

“There's no need to apologise Stutter, it wasn't your fault, I just…Here, wait here, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'll be back soon.” Rex smiles as he leaves the refresher, leaving Stutter just staring at the bath, mesmerised by the steam coming up and off of the bath water. He's fascinated by it. A few moments later, Rex arrives back with some clean clothes.

“Here these might be slightly big for you, but they should be okay. They are some of Tech's clothes, he's only two years older than you so they might be a bit big, but not overly.” Rex places the top, trouser and jumper on the sink. Because Stutter was shivering, he thought that the jumper after the bath would keep the three year old warm. Rex walks over to the bath and switches it off, just before it rises halfway. He checks the water temperature. “Perfect. It's ready for you, if you undress and hand me your clothes I'll put them in the laundry basket and have them washed right away for you.” Stutter nods as he strips himself off. 

The clothes are passed to Rex, who takes them into his room before going back to help Stutter into the bath. “You ready? I'll help you in.” Stutter puts his arms in the air some before Rex gently lifts him up and places him gently into the warm water, making sure to keep his left arm out as too keep the cast dry. Stutter gasps in surprise, he's never felt anything like this before. He hums happily as he leans back in the water. “T-This i-i-is nice, t-t-thank y-you.” Stutter closes his eyes, enjoying the warm water swirling around him as he shuffles. He then plays with the bubbles a little, scooping some up in his hand and blowing it off. 

The giggle makes Rex happy that the bath is helping. “Would you like me to wash your hair for you?” 

“Y-Y-Yes p-please.” Stutter feels comfortable with the touch of Rex's hands, but always being beaten, being touched is a very scary thing for Stutter, afraid that someone will want to hurt him again.

Rex gently rubs the shampoo into Stutter's hair, who enjoys the feeling of having someone wash his hair for him, instead of struggling himself. He'd always cry at the stinging sensation when the soap got in his eyes, but Rex is being careful not to get a single drop in them.

Rex then grabs a cup off the counter. “Close your eyes.” Stutter does as Rex told him, Rex cups a hand in front of Stutter’s eyes, gently pouring the water. The little boy hums at the nice feeling of the water flowing through his hair and down his back. “You like that?” Rex asks with a chuckle, only getting a sleepy nod in response.

He finishes up washing Stutter’s hair, he then grabs a towel. “Time to get out.” Stutter nods, standing up and letting Rex wrap the towel around him and lift him out. Rex sets him down and softly dries Stutter off, being very gentle around his bruises. 

He then helps Stutter get dressed, the clothes are a little big, but not by much. Rex then carries Stutter to Obi Wan's bed where he knows Cody is, laying down with the two older teens. Before Stutter closes his eyes, he sees the sun setting over the horizon, bright shades of oranges and yellows shining into the room, making him feel cozy and warm before closing his eyes to get some sleep.

xxx

Stutter finishes his painting. "L-Look Jesse. I-I-I'm done." He would be smiling if he could, the memory of being rescued by Rex and his brothers always makes him happy. It was the best day of his life, even if his father and brothers got away.

Stutter loves drawing sunsets, a sunset was the thing he saw the first time he ever felt safe and warm, loved, and it always relaxes him to draw them.

The paper man runs over to Stutter, being careful of the paint. "That looks amazing Stutter, you did a great job." Jesse smiles at him, and Stutter wishes that he could smile back. "D-Do you t-t-think t-that Rex w-would like it?" 

"Of course he would, why don't we go give it to him. We could go get Obi Wan to help us carry it." Stutter makes a nodding motion, and Jesse runs over to Kix. "Come on Kix, you can come help me and Stutter get Obi Wan." Kix sighs, but nods.

"Fine, but if he's busy we're leaving him alone. We can always just grab Rex and bring him down here, okay." Both Jesse and Stutter nod, and with that the three fly out of the room. Jesse folded into a bird as usual.

They fly to Obi Wan and Cody's shared room, and Kix hits his body on the door, making a thumping sound. It's the only way he can knock. They wait a few moments, then Kix knocks again. After a few minutes this time the door opens and they see the suit of armor looking at them.

"Did you three need something?" He asked, it's not very often that someone interrupts him and Cody. Stutter stays behind the two older cousins, even after so many years he's still afraid of some things. "Stutter painted a picture and wanted to give it to Rex, we were wondering if you could carry it up for us?" Jesse asks.

Obi Wan chuckles. "I can definitely help with that, let's go get it. Do you want to come Cody?" Cody shuffles towards the door. "Sure, let's go. Do you three want a ride?" Kix, Jesse and Stutter all nod and fly up, Jesse holds onto Kix instead of folding himself this time. They sit on Cody as him and Obi Wan make their way to the drawing room, once they get their Sabine is still painting and Stutter's painting is sitting right where he left it.

Obi Wan picks it up, admiring it. Stutter starts to get nervous, he doesn't know if Obi Wan likes it or not. Obi Wan senses Stutter's nervousness. "This looks amazing Stutter, you did a great job on it. Look Cody." Obi Wan holds the picture where Cody could see it, and the desk hums when he sees it. “Wow, this looks stunning. I love the colours you used, you're so talented. Rex is going to love this.”

Even though he doesn't have one, Stutter's face is beaming in delight. “Thank you so much, I hope he does.” The four brothers and Obi Wan, who carries the painting with care, head up the stairs towards the West Wing. As soon as they arrive at Rex's bedroom door, they hear a soft snoring sound. Obi Wan gently knocks as he opens the door to see Anakin lying on top of Rex at a slight angle across his fluffy chest and stomach. As Rex breathes, letting out the soft snores, his chest slowly rises and falls. 

A few moments later, Anakin starts to stir, looking up to see Obi Wan standing in the doorway. He can't see Cody or the others at the level he is lying at. Anakin lets out a yawn and whispers, as to not wake Rex “Obi Wan. Is everything alright?” Obi Wan nods and whispers back “Yes, everything is fine. Cody, Stutter and the twins are here too.”

Anakin hears a shuffling and sees them all come into view now. “Hey you guys.” they all respond with a quiet greeting. “What you got there, Obi Wan?” Anakin nods towards the canvas.

“It's a painting of a sunset that Stutter did for Rex.” Obi Wan explains, smiling invisibly to Stutter. “I-If h-h-he's asleep, I-I-I c-can just l-leave it h-here f-f-for him.” Stutter offers. 

The sound of quiet talking to each other eventually wakes Rex up. He goes to sit up when he remembers that Anakin is lying down on top of him. As he lets out a yawn, the others see his sharp teeth and fangs showing on display. It doesn't bother anyone in the slightest that he has them. Anakin chuckles a little as he gets up, allowing Rex to sit up “Nice nap, Rexster?” 

Rex smiles at the nickname that Anakin gave him when they were younger. It started out as something to bug Rex with, when they first met Anakin didn't really like Rex very much, but things have definitely changed since then.

"Yeah, it was nice. So what are you guys doing here?" Rex asks, gesturing to the group. Stutter is hiding behind Obi Wan now, suddenly very shy. "Well, Stutter painted a picture for you, Rex'ika." Rex perks up, he loves when Stutter paints him pictures. He looks around, but doesn't see the paintbrush anywhere.

"Where is he?" Rex frowns while he asks, he knows that Stutter must be hiding. It happens sometimes, even after all the years away from him, Stutter still has habits and scars from his father. Physical and emotional.

"Come on out, Stutter. You know that I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." Stutter flies out from behind Obi Wan, who walks forward. "This is the painting that Stutter painted for you." Rex takes the painting and Stutter flies over while Rex looks at it.

"This is amazing, Stutter! I love it!" Stutter beams, flying up and snuggling into Rex's fur. Rex chuckles, nuzzling the paintbrush. "Thank you, Ori'Vod." 

Rex smiles, it always warms his heart when Stutter calls him that. It took him so long to get up the courage to call Rex his brother.

"You're welcome, Stutter. I love it. I'll make sure to find a place to hang it up later." Rex stands up to find a place to put the painting, and that's when Stutter backs up. Accidentally bumping into a glass framed painting of Rex's parents, it falls to the floor, shattering. The loud noise scared Stutter, but even more so knowing how important that painting is to Rex.

Anakin knows this too, and he starts walking towards Rex to calm him down. "STUTTER!!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!" Rex yells, making Stutter flinch and whimper loudly. Stutter flies as fast as he can out of the room. The room falls silent, regret fills Rex as he feels everyone in the room staring at him. “Rex!! Why would you yell at Stutter like that?!” Cody makes Rex press his ears back, whimpering as he realizes what he just did. “I...I didn't mean to-” Rex bolts out of his room to go and hide from everyone, embarrassed at what he just did. Obi Wan places his hand on top of Cody to calm his boyfriend, feeling his anger boiling up inside of him. 

Stutter sobs hard as he floats down the hallway, trying to fight away his pain caused so many years ago, on the verge of letting it consume and destroy him. He bursts into a room, falling to the floor from the loss of energy. He chokes on his sobs, wishing that he had tears that would allow him to cry away his pain for a short time, before his episodes of panic attacks fully developed into outbreaks that would uncontrollably happen every now and then. 

“Stutter?” 

Taglist:  @ellie1366 @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @lightning-wolffe  @pinkiemme

@captainrexisboo  @trash-dino-5000

[ct-7386]

Lost and Found pt1

[Here is the second chronological thread! This will have another part (which I will tag accordingly) so keep an eye out for that! I had a lot of fun with this particular thread because it really helped me figure out 86's personality some more - and had the added benefit of letting me rp with the lovely mun of Commander Thire ^^

As always, if I forget any warnings, please let me know!]

Authors: myself and @cc-4477commanderthire Characters: Commander Thire (them); CT-7386, (me) Rating: T TW: depicted depression and anxiety; referenced isolation (self-imposed and imposed by others); referenced assisted suicide

Mando'a Guide: Udesii - take it easy, calm down Ni'ne - [fan-made], sorry (not as intense as n'eparavu takisit or ni ceta) Vor entye - thank you

86 receives a comm in the late afternoon, a few hours before the end of his shift.

CT-7386,

Meet me in my office once your shift is over.

Commander Thire

He swallows nervously and returns his attention to the hallway he’s walking down on his way to the last senator to have requested him for the day. What could his commanding officer want him for? Have I done something wrong?

Finally, when the sun has set and the sky is bright with the traffic and business of a city that never sleeps, 86 trudges back from the Rotunda and through Guard Headquarters. It’s long after most of his vode will have had late-meal, and he can only hope that the commander won’t be too upset about him showing up so late.

86 hesitates in front of Thire’s office door. He reaches up and slips off his bucket - mostly so that he’ll have something in his hands to give him something to fidget with. Then, with a slightly shaky breath, he knocks on the door and steps inside when it opens.

“C-Commander Thire, sir?” he asks, voice quiet to hide how it wants to tremble. “I - I’m sorry it’s s-so late, sir.”

The office is dimly lit, and only the data pads illuminate the commander. Thire looks up from his work and gestures for the trooper to take a seat in front of his chair. "Don‘t worry about it. Have you eaten yet?"

He gets up and walks around the table to switch the overhead light on, "I haven‘t eaten yet, so if you don‘t mind we can have some together."

86 sits, bucket clutched in his lap. “No sir, I haven’t - haven’t eaten yet. My shift only j-just ended.”

Of course, he’s so tense and anxious that he doesn’t know if he can stomach food, even an unappetizing ration bar, but who is he to tell a commander no?

Thire hums softly and places reheated mess food in front of the trooper. He may have planned this and purposely not eaten so far. He sits down behind his own desk, "Do you have a name yet?"

Fox told him about this particular case, but he wants to offer the other some control over the situation by asking a few simple questions.

Suddenly 86 is afraid he knows what this is about. Every moment of the last week runs quickly across his vision like a holofilm, and he sees his confrontation with Cory and his confession to Fox all over again. It sends a dull throb through his skull, and he bites back a wince.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, unable to look up from the food; nausea swims in his gut, though he can’t pinpoint the exact source. “I don’t - I go by my n-number, sir, or 86.”

He takes a breath meant to steady him. “I don’t - I don’t know what the Commander told you,” 86 glances up to check if his suspicions are correct, “but I don’t deserve a name.” Quieter, more to himself, he adds, “It’s not like - like anyone would use it anyway.”

Thire gets up and walks around to 86. He leans against his desk and searches for 86‘ glance, "What Fox told me was that it was our collective failure that we didn‘t realize you were struggling earlier. And he‘s certainly right about that."

Quietly he adds, "Having a name means that you are your own person, 86. A person who has a past, hopes, dreams and fears. It means that you have a personality. That there are things you like and don‘t like. You deserve a name because you are someone. Someone who matters. And that‘s why you get to have a name and choose it for yourself."

It‘s been a while since he told someone that. Thire does feel ashamed that he never properly checked how his men were holding up. He promised himself to be better years ago and he needs to act on it.

He holds his helmet tight to his chest. “I have a - a past, and I have fears, but - th-those are all I have.” Tears begin to burn at the backs of his eyes. “I g-gave up any right to anything - anything else when I decided it was alright to kill my kih’vode re-regardless of our circumstances.”

86’s voice hardens slightly, and he meets Thire’s gaze. “And - And whatever Fox may say, wh-whatever you believe, the situation I’m in is - is my fault. My choices led me here, and I was prepared to face - face the consequences of those choices when I m-made them.”

That burning won’t go away, and it’s getting a little hard to breathe. Kark why is he such a baby?

(He doesn’t know who he’s trying to convince anymore.)

Thire‘s gaze softens, “You are not responsible for your circumstances. And you made a hard choice. That‘s okay, and it happens.”

He uncrosses his arms and lets his hands fall to his sides, palm open, “If you don‘t have dreams now then they‘ll come again, at some point. That doesn‘t rob you of your right to individuality. Your right to be a person.”

He feels bad to throw all of this at 86 at once. 86 is his own person and Thire‘s guilt about something else in the past shouldn‘t play a part in this. Instead he asks softly, “Can I touch you?”

86 thinks of his greenhouse in the lower halls, of the safe place he has been slowly carving out for himself. The need that he has for such a space… could that be classified as a wish? A dream? He doesn’t know. All he does know is that all of his dreams have been - or turned into - nightmares so far.

At Thire’s question, he stiffens slightly. All touch recently has been bad touch, so this good thing catches him off guard - but he nods anyway, hoping none of his thoughts make it onto his face. “Yes,” he adds out loud for good measure.

Thire gently places a hand on 86‘s shoulder and softly pulls him forward. It‘s a light touch but with the clear intent to hold him close. Thire‘s thumb lightly strokes his shoulder in a soothing motion. Softly he says, “Have you talked to a medic yet?”

He feels sorry for the trooper who looks like a loth cat caught in headlights. But they‘ll have to make an effort to reach out to show 86 that he is wanted and there are brothers who care about him specifically.

86 allows himself to be pulled in - and finds himself slumping against Thire’s chest. Tingles arc across his skin from the place Thire’s thumb strokes his shoulder, and tears swell unbidden in his eyes.

He shakes his head and sniffles, though he tries to keep it quiet. “N-No,” he answers shakily without moving. “Not - Not yet. F-Fox suggested - suggested CMO Paws. I think… I’ll go, m-maybe. Th-There’s still all of this going on, and I can’t - I won’t -” 86 shakes his head again and whines a little in frustration, but mostly at all the emotions coursing through him that he doesn’t really understand. He doesn’t know what’s going on, only that he thinks this feels nice, feels warm.

Thire simply wraps his arms around 86 and pulls him close. Quietly he says, "Udesii, vod‘ika. I have you."

Softly he hums a slow melody and gently continues to stroke over 86‘ back. It is physically painful to see his vod‘ika suffer like that.

The increase in physical contact has 86 shuddering and keening desperately. “Ni’ne,” he cries into Thire’s chest, “ni’ne, ni’ne, ni’ne…”

After a few minutes, 86 manages to swallow his sobs, though he’s still shaking, and he doesn’t move to pull away from the embrace. He even reaches up and clutches at the edges of Thire’s armor to ground himself.

“I’m s-sorry,” he sniffles again. “I don’t - I don’t kn-know what’s - what’s wrong.”

Thire holds him even tighter and softly whispers, “There‘s nothing to be sorry for, vod‘ika.”

His heart breaks a little at the sobs and he wonders how long it‘s been since someone held 86 close. He gently rakes his fingers through the trooper's hair and hums comfortingly, “You‘re doing good. I‘m proud of you.”

It‘s not said very loud but Thire means it nevertheless.

86 completely melts, letting himself fall apart in the safety of a vod’s embrace. Thire is proud of him? The idea of it, the emotion that comes with it, is unfamiliar. He has always been the ori’vod; he doesn’t know how to handle this shift in his self-perceived place in the world. But for some reason, it soothes just a few of his jagged edges.

Eventually, his sobs ease into nothing more than an occasional hitch in his breathing; he’s practically asleep, Thire’s fingers in his hair relaxing him more than he’s been in years, and his chest fills with warmth every time the commander carefully avoids the transmitters of his implants. He’s being cared for, not rejected - like a proper vod, by a vod. 86’ next inhale hitches just slightly, but he has no more tears to cry.

Still boneless against his superior, 86 manages to mumble, “What - What did you wanna s-see me for, sir?”

Thire takes a moment to consider the situation before softly saying, “I wanted to talk to you and check in on you.” He was worried about 86 giving up entirely and ending it but he won‘t tell him that. No need to give the other ideas or the false impression that he needs to be on the brink of eating his gun for someone to care.

So, he softly adds, “A squad should be a family and yours doesn‘t offer you that sort of environment. I wanted to tell you that you can have family wherever, it‘s not limited to the people you work with. You can pick your own friends and family and…” Thire smiles down at 86, “I would very much like to be part of that. But it‘s your choice, vod‘ika. Pick people that make you feel saved and loved, because that‘s what you deserve.”

He moves down so that they are face to face and leans into a soft keldabe, “And I promise, these people exist. You just have to look for them and allow them to love you.”

86 presses into the keldabe, eyes scrunched shut and face screwed up to fight the dry burning in his eyes; he wants to cry, but he’s exhausted himself.

His breath hitches, chest tightening. “My squad - I f-failed them. I can n-never make it to pat-trol with them, I h-hardly eat with th-them… How can they - they not dist-trust me? Th-They even requested an - an extra vod to t-take my place, and they got him, howe-ever they pulled th-that off; I'm - I'm only part of Vada Squad on paper." 86 is confused. Doesn't Thire know that? Isn't it the commander who approves squad formations?”

“My - M-My last family was my b-batch,” he whispers, “and I killed them. Th-They were everything to m-me. We weren’t - We w-were kept separated from the - from the oth-thers, so the six of us… we were all w-we had. For three years n-no one has wanted - wanted to t-talk to the strange vod wh-who showed up out of n-nowhere.”

Somehow, his body manages to produce three more tears to ease the ache in his red and swollen eyes, and he sobs, “Wh-What’s changed? What’s changed?”

Thire looks away for a moment. “I… No one… had realized how alone you were or that you had nobody until it escalated. And that was a terrible mistake, but it doesn‘t mean that it has anything to do with you personally.”

He pulls 86‘ face into his shoulder and quietly says, “I know that this is hard and that it‘s asking a lot. But can you believe me that none of us did it on purpose? Can you give us a second chance to prove that we actually care?”

He knows that that is a lot to ask. But there is no other way to get through this. 86 needs to give his brothers a second chance and try to trust that they genuinely care now. If he doesn‘t at least try, then they have already lost and no chance to fix this and help their vod‘ika.

“I don’t know,” he sobs, holding on tighter. “I don’t know.”

This time 86 tries to pull himself back together, to keep himself coherent and not a blubbering mess. He’s only partially successful.

“I - I know it w-wasn’t on p-purpose, it was m-my fault, and I could - could n-never blame y-you for that.”

86 has a decision to make. Thire has presented him his choices, and now 86 has to decide if he’ll let himself be swallowed by his own darkness, the darkness he fights to keep from his vode, or if he’ll accept the light being offered him.

He thinks of his batch, of what they had all wanted for each other, of the secrets and the dreams they had whispered in the safety of the night cycle. He thinks of his vode, how he wants nothing more than to help them, how he really does care for them even if they don’t reciprocate it. He thinks of himself and how he has fought and struggled to make it this far - and he’s done it on his own. But now… Now there’s a chance for things to change, for him to change.

Fox and Thire believe he’s a person and that he deserves to be loved and cared for. 86 may not believe them, not yet, but… he wants to. He wants to.

In the end, the choice is rather simple. By wanting, 86 knows he is human, and all that’s left is for him to trust Fox and Thire. It’s a tiny step, because he has always trusted his vode (and now he needs to trust them with himself).

“I trust you,” he breathes. “I trust you.”

It’s all he can give right now, but he hopes that Thire will understand - understand that it’s not belief, that it’s not knowing, that 86 is trusting him to see the situation from an outside perspective, that he is trusting Thire with himself.

It’s all he can give.

But he’s always given himself for his brothers.

(Maybe it’s time he trusted them to keep him.)

Thire gently pulls him close and hugs him tightly, “Thank you”, he whispers softly. “This is the greatest gift you can ever give someone.”

He slowly continues to rock 86 back and forth and hums softly to calm the trooper down.

86 continues to hold on tightly, even as he feels himself slowly, slowly start to calm down, breathing evening out and body relaxing until he’s on the edge of sleep. He’s still awake, still aware, but everything feels hazy and distant.

“Vor entye,” he murmurs into Thire’s shoulder.

Thire lets his vod’ika sleep in his arms despite it being rather uncomfortable. He moves them to the floor and hugs 86 close. Slowly, he feels himself drift off to sleep.

[avianurges]

For the ask meme- yes. The whole fucking alphabet. Any fandom of your choice for any of them -kipp

LMAO THE WHOLE THING? THIS SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED-

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

Honestly besides the Constant love for Mell and Kai, Ash and Eiji from banana fish, and Reki and Langa and Joe and Cherry from sk8 right now. Also i like Lawlight from specifically the 2015 death note tv drama. OH. AND ALSO. SEKI AND SHIMIZU FROM OYASUMI PUNPUN I LOVE THEM

(Side note ngl Detective Roberts and His Ex-Wife are v nice together i like them)

B - A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind

Ellspen from Self Aware. LIKE LISTEN. I KNOW I WRITE THE THING. BUT I NEVER CONSIDERED THAT UNTIL READERS STARTED SHIPPING IT

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will (be nice)

Uhhh idk I never thought about it. Ig i’m not really a fan of Aizawa/All Might? that’s the first ship to come to mind. oh and also Hawks/Endeavor. not my cup o tea, never will be

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t (again: be nice)

Any ship with Tanaka from haikyuu that Isnt him and kiyoko. like art of him and enoshita or him and noya are Cute, but i just dont ship it

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what

Does writing “Regenerate, Fate” count

I also have Goose Yagami meme and the yelling cat meme but it’s death note

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom

BNHA fandom has been since... november 2017ish

G - Do you remember your first OTP, if so who was in it

.........................................................................Klance.

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., tv shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)

(ngl i dunno what this Means so sorry if my answer doesn’t make sense but-) I really like anime and animation, but also i really like comics and manga, more so now that im Making a comic

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

I don’t think tumblr’s ever stopped making me like a fandom, but just like. stop going in tumblr’s tag for it. for example 15ish year old me was NOT ready to see the things in the undertale tag that i did. oh god the horrors.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr

i dont think tumblrs ever led me to starting a show/getting into a fandom, but pinterest has. most of my fandoms have been through seeing random things on pinterest ngl

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

Vigilantedekus is The Best and I Love Them

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves (chars you’re neutral on are fair game, as are chars you dislike)

Matsuda from death note might’ve been played as the “Funny because he keeps fuckin up” kinda chara, but i do like that he was the one to shoot light and that he had that kind of outburst about light’s dad. BUT ALSO MATSUDA’S THEORY IN THE END OF THE MANGA? RIGHTS.

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

i dont have anything specific in mind, but all fandoms have DOPE artists

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

head empty no thoughts

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Right now “The mind electric” reminds me of Jamie from SA, “Butterfly’s Repose” reminds me of Mell And Kai

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

uh uh uh uh Self Aware but without Aviancorp. That’s the only difference. The au is just what kind of ripple effect it would have on everyone and their lives

Q - A ship you’ve abandoned and why

nothing’s coming to mind

R - A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships

Sobs. Seki and Shimizu from Goodnight Punpun. I only say them for this because theres So Little People who know them

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Athen (my oc, Choosing(02)) wants to see hatsune miku because he uses a voicebank to speak and “! she sounds like me!” 

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

I’m going to do these with my OCs instead. because while im the author, they’re headcanons because most of them i cant Really make canon: 

Athen has a mothman pajama set. He and adam have matching “Humanfucker”/”Robofucker” shirts

athen Has seriously wondered if adam would leave him for mothman

athen gets a pet roomba named Hal

Jamie would be a good parent

Sam (one of the dead kids from Subject 402/SA-) would’ve been a soccer player if she lived

Letho (the Other dead kid) would’ve been an art student

if jordan(Kai) had a Normal Life and WASNT a human experiment, he wouldnt be very accomplished in school despite being a genius, he’d be kinda a delinquent and getting in trouble a lot

If mell had a younger sibling, people would probably think HE’S the youngest one. they would not believe he were older if they were close in age

U - 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms

Mob from Mob psycho

L and Light are tied

Aizawa and Shinsou and Deku are top faves ig

ash and eiji from banana fish. love them. AND SHORTER> LOVE HIM

i like punpun as a character but if i had the chance i would prolly throw hands

V - 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms

Mell and Kai - Self Aware

Shindeku OR tododeku - bnha

(Letho and (Redacted)) - Self Aware (but like. the au if letho Lived)

Ash and Eiji - Banana Fish

W - 5 favorite ships and 5 kinks you like best for said ships

I think we all know my fave ships from this post so far. no need to do this question lmao

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

MOB. WOULD KILL FOR HIM BUT I KNOW HE WOULD BE :( AT ME FOR IT

ngl there aren’t many Precious Babies. like I’d say Hinata is a precious baby but haikyuu ends when he’s like fuckin 30 so what counts as a precious baby hmmm

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)

my dash gets so much TMA

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go (prompts optional but encouraged)

this post is long enough,,,

[zukoshotleafjuice]

I’m watching the Legend of Korra for the first time and I have so many thoughts™ so here is my stream of consciousness

THAT POSTER OF THE GAANG IS THE MOST GORGEOUS THING I’VE EVER SEEN I HAD TO PAUSE JUST TO APPRECIATE ITS BEAUTY

look,,,in theory i know aang has to be dead for korra to become the new avatar but in practice i did not expect the wave of emotions that came with seeing katara as an old lady and realizing that aang is actually dead

baby korra kicking ass is Not what I expected the first scene of the show to be and I am Here for it

it has been 5 minutes and i’m extremely gay for korra

APPA IS HERE APPA IS HERE HE’S MY BEST BOY!!!!

THE BABIES CALLED KATARA GRAN-GRAN OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP MY HEART HURTS

aang’s granddaughter whose name i do not know: “what happened to zuko’s mom”? me: sobbing

the other granddaughter is a hyper kid and,,,yes we all know where she got it from

idk why I expected tenzin to be a lot like aang but he’s not and honestly that’s pretty cool

hold tf up did this poor girl spend her entire life locked up in a compound in the south pole? someone help her

that bison is not appa and honestly idk why i thought it was. does this mean appa is dead because i cannot handle the thought

korra: fuck it im running away katara: heck yeah you go girl

SOKKA IS DEAD TOO??? NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOTSOKKANOTSOKKANOTSOKKA I CAN’T DO THIS ARE YOU TELLING ME KATARA IS THE ONLY TEAM AVATAR MEMBER LEFT THIS ISN’T F A I R 

*deep breaths* itsallokaytheyhadhappylives

now back to korra

republic city is lowkey gorgeous woww. also loving that ginormous statue of aang they have taste. 

korra’s expression while firebending her fish is the funniest shit ever i love her

this has 20′s mafia vibes i really like it

korra’s ARMS,,,,,I am Looking Respectfully

naga is a good girl i love her

fuck the police

is that a statue of toph

korra: i can’t just sit by and do nothing! it’s my duty to help people! i see katara taught you well

im fundamentally against the police but Lin kind of went off

korra is a sassy bitch i love her

i feel like Tenzin and Korra driving past the statue of aang kind of shows how they’re both in his shadow and I lowkey love that

KORRA IS S T R O N G. MUSCLE GIRL I LVOE IM GAY

....and that’s it for episode one. damn.

[burnedbyshoto]

Twice - Alphabet HC’s

a/n: this... actually made me appreciate jin so much??? like I never really thought of him romantically until now and... my heart D:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

He is big on affectionate. Even when experiencing large personality swings, there is one constant. You. he will always love you.

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

Taking his face in your hands and calming him down when he panics when his mask is gone. It’s small, it’s not even that big of a thing, but when you stare in his eyes… he feels whole, he feels split, and more importantly, he feels like there was nothing ever wrong

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

He LOVES BEING THE LITTLE SPOON OKAY???? HOLD HIM BETWEEN YOUR ARMS AND WHISPER SWEET NOTHINGS IN HIS EAR

Isn’t always in a cuddling mood though, sometimes he’s too jittery to sit there

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

He dreams of one day being able to leave his mask behind with your help. He wants to be able to feel comfortable with himself outside of the mask

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

He puts in a lot of effort, even if he swings between being like “fuck romance” and “I love you with all my heart” the latter will always win, and he does. The. most.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

He will be your guard dog. Holding you tight, glaring at anything and everything that comes near you. He will defend you, fight anyone. He will do this until you feel safe until you’re ready

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

He gives you the weirdest shit ever. Like not in a bad thing, just things you would never buy yourself??? I mean you always love the small and intimate gifts he ends up bringing you but you’re like “...why do I need 50 kg of rainbow slime?” “because you were talking about it for 2 hours, and well, there was a sale!”

He doesn’t want gifts in return, but loves every single gift you’ll give him in return!

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

His arms are ALWAYS hugging you!!!!!!!!!! Okay??? He just loves feeling whole and you’re his missing link

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He’s the kind of guy that others don’t think are being romantic, like they’ll look at what he does and will ALL be like “uhh…” and look at you ready to hear you complain but are instead greeted with you sobbing and throwing yourself into his arms

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

Not a jealous bone in this baby!!!!! He trusts you to kick fucking ass to anybody who tries putting themselves on you. Will only intervene if you need him.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

Not a good kisser, but his enthusiasm is highly and lovingly noted. He loves kissing you!!!!!! And will try to kiss you at least once a day, even if he has to go find you to do it.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

He will say it before a year of you two dating. He knows he’s not the easiest to deal with, and the fact that you’ve stuck around, it really makes his heart go doki doki. He will say it all the time (“can you roll over? I need more blankets! Thank you, I love you.”) loves showing it and saying it.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

He wants to marry you, las vegas style.

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

He likes paintball dates. Those are his favorite dates. He likes doing things with you, like escape rooms, all that shit!!!! He also enjoys laying a blanket by the fire and just eating dinner there. Likes having dates about twice a week ;)

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

He’s not a big texter! So if you don’t see him irl you won’t hear from him at all for the day

P = Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

He likes messing around with you!!! Prank wars are a thing, and pranking others in the league is something that really tickles your funny bone.

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

Always asks for your opinion on things, he’s first and foremost super curious about all your thoughts, and he has self-doubt. He is a very open and honest person, so hell yeah he shares his opinions!!!

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

Its very spontaneous or super predictable. Jin becomes more predictable when danger lurks, so you’ve associated spontaneity with better times

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

He sleeps with his head on your stomach, don’t ask why he just really likes having his face there! Plus it’s hard to breathe when he’s on your chest.

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

If jin had to decide on one person in the world to shoot a gun on the apple on his head from 12434243 feet away, it would be you.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

His enthusiasm. You just do not ever expect it and when you realize that he is genuine and pure in all of his feelings and thoughts, it kinda makes you feel weird. But you love it, and you wish more people were like him, bold and brash and true.

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

Being truly vulnerable doesn’t take that long. He is an honest person and if he loves you and knows you feel the same way he’s gonna open up like nobody's business.

Jin is a bit frantic in this state, crying, highly emotional, tearing between different personalities like a pendulum swinging, but you don’t leave him until he’s calmed down.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Jin is making a scrapbook, full of every little thing that the two of you have done together. Every movie, ever amusement park, he has love notes, and he has pictures you weren’t aware of in the slightest way

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He will cater to you without even blinking an eye. He will run to the store for you, making you soup, getting a thermometer, fixing your bandages, and always giving you more water to drink.

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Nope, he loves you just for you. All of you. No matter how weird you are, he wouldn’t change a single detail about you. Why would he?

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

He is a super intimate and passionate lover!!!!!!! He does the most for you and most times does it without even realizing it!

NSFW:

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He is bouncing off the walls. He will go and grab everything for you as quickly as he can, he’s a bit sloppy though, not going to lie, but you still appreciate a large amount of effort he puts into it.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite feature is his hands, they’re just… a demanding focus on his body he thinks, and he knows how to use them in a way that makes you feel good. His favorite body part on you is your eyes. He loves that he can read exactly how you’re feeling by peering into your eyes. It’s just so much more satisfying than anything else. But if we’re talking body body, he’s an ass man.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum is pretty thin and very milky, super fucking warm, and enjoys seeing it splatter against your face.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s nearly fucked a clone he made of you one day after not seeing you in a long time, and he was so needy, and nothing was working! He knows your proportions like his name and well when it came to penetration he just couldn’t do it and had to call you immediately afterward.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He is actually sort of experienced, he had a healthy sex life before his mental dip, and it’s still evident in the way he loves you. But he’s just so gentle with you sometimes you think that he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary or reverse cowgirl.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He can be humorous in bed, especially once he’s no longer so shy around you in bed, you two are the ones to argue about a Spongebob episode while he’s slamming into you

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It’s really badly groomed. He just doesn’t have the patience to groom it correctly. There are a few nicks and uneven patches, but you don’t mind. And the carpet is darker than the drapes.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He is a very intimate person when it calls for it. As long as you aren’t goofing off expect for his words to be a prayer to your body in your ear, his eyes peering lovingly into yours. His soul is yours.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Loves masturbating with you. Especially when the two of you are too lazy to actually fuck, he just loves watching the way your fingers fuck yourself as he madly fists away.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Isn’t that kinky, to be honest. Like he’s open to everything but there isn’t one thing that set him off because everything about you makes him horny.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

He really likes fucking in a super big mattress, California king. He likes rolling around with you, so he needs the room.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

The thing that gets him going is after you’ve showered and you’re just waiting there for him. You look so pure and clean and innocent, but you’re not and welp there he goes.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Will not ever put anything over his head. Blindfold, mask, gag. It makes him panic, it makes him freak out unless it’s his mask, but he tries not to wear it in bed with you.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves giving it more. His skill is actually pretty good with this because he just enjoys using tongue, so he’s not bad at it at all.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual all the fucking way. Not that he doesn’t want to fuck you until the bed breaks, but there’s just something so much more rewarding about fucking you nice and slowly, his lips dragging against your skin… it’s just superior.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not into quickies unless that’s all he can do. He just loves the passionate foreplay that is proper sex and you can’t get that with a quickie.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is into experimenting as long as the two of you discuss it beforehand, he doesn’t like having things sprung upon him during a session. Discuss before enacting!

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last a few healthy rounds, and he takes a while to come due to the slower nature of your sex.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Doesn’t own toys, but will buy them when the two of you want to be kinky. He enjoys watching you use them on him. He’s a little more of a sub!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Doesn’t like teasing you at all, he’s very straightforward and won’t take you on a wild goose chase to get his dick in you.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s quite loud, he’s already very vocal, and well when you’re fucking him he has no restraint. Moaning and groaning are his favorite noises.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He wants to one day use his quirk to fuck you. You want more than one of his dicks surrounding you when he does you, and he may not be quite ready for that, but one day maybe when he’s ready it will happen.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a bit smaller than average. 5 inches flaccid and 6.5 while erect. Very veiny dick that’s more concentrated along the front of his cock.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a semi-high sex drive. Like he doesn’t need to fuck every three days, but he enjoys it.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

As soon as he’s done providing for you, he will pass out LOL

[dawniebb]

Thoughts about Renegades

ALRIGHT FOLKS, TAKE A SEAT BC I’M ABOUT TO KICK MYSELF OUT OF THIS FANDOM :’)

Not really

But I’m going to rant for a while so perhaps you can go grab a snack or something :’)

So…I LOVE Renegades and I always will but I’ve been thinking about some of the things that seem…off to me. Not that they’re a big deal ofc (because I love Renegades in a really dumb and blind way) but some of them are quite unpopular opinions among the fandom, so I’m finally going to share them in case someone out there feels the same way X’DDDDD

They’re not in any particular order. Here we go:

- I completely stan the idea of Nova and Oscar and Nova and Callum being brotp material, but I stan Nova and Callum way more, not because I don’t like Nova and Oscar, but because I think it was genuinely good (and healthy) for Nova to have a friend out of Adrian’s circle. I mean, she’s been isolated most of her life now, and when I realized she finally had someone of her own… like, a person she met with whom she connected without Adrian introducing them to her, was a HUGE step. Callum is one of my favorite characters in the whole series, and when the t h i n g  happened I was devastated for MYSELF *sobs* but also because MM took him away from Nova. She opened to him more than she ever opened to Oscar throughout the three books. Sorry not sorry :’).

- AS A YOUNG ADULT (I’LL BE 20 IN MAY, YOU GUYS) let me tell you that all these dumbasses act like completely normal teenagers and all their shitty decisions sound like something I would’ve done when I was their age. Actually, the Team Sketch really reminds me of my own circle of friends. I’ve seen you guys complain about Adrian acting extremely dumb for his age but GUYS HE’S FUCKING 17. WHEN I WAS 17 I WAS AS CLUELESS AS HIM. ALL MY FRIENDS WERE. AND IT WAS SO STUPID IT HURT BUT SHIT BE LIKE THAT SOMETIMES. I was the Nova among them. That is: I joined their group hella late and one of the guys became my crush. I was so dumb I told him he was my crush when I was defeated on the floor with a dislocated knee because I was having a breakdown and I legit thought I was D Y I N G. Teenagers.Are.Like.That.

- HOWEVER, EVEN IF I JUST SAID ALL OF THAT….And I want to believe all of you agree with me: I don’t justify Oscar. It’s okay being a dumb teenager, but you can’t just ask your crush to be your girlfriend during a PUBLIC EXECUTION. That wasn’t romantic. At all. If I were Ruby I would’ve been really offended, no joke. (AT LEAST WHEN I TOLD *MY* CRUSH WHILE I THOUGHT MY LEG WAS GOING TO BE AMPUTATED, WE WERE IN CHORUS CLASS. ALL THE GUYS WERE SINGING TO ME BC THEY THOUGHT THAT WOULD CALM ME DOWN. IT WAS A GROSS AND ODDLY SWEET MOMENT, YOU KNOW?).

- I feel like Ruby is…I’m not going to say mistreated, but…Idk. I feel like she’s trying her best and she’s kind to everyone in the group and in some parts of the books they just…forget about her :’). (This may be Marissa’s fault, though). Which makes me really sad, because she’s genuinely sweet and I felt like she was the most welcoming to Nova since the very beginning (Apart from Adrian, of course).

- I’m part of the “Leroy switched sides at some point” squad, but at the same time I believe he’s just very, VERY chaotic neutral and (I’m never giving up on this) since he loved Nova, he would just stick to the side where they promised to keep her safe, even if that meant being jumping back and forth between the Renegades and the Anarchists.

- I ALSO BELIEVE WINSTON MAH BOI SAW A LOT OF HIMSELF IN NOVA. To my particular point of view, his mental state was the most stable when she moved with them. He unconsciously tried to stop her from becoming what he’d become and the Anarchists realized that, so when they found Ace’s little human weapon being threatened, they just teared her away from Winston, which caused his mental health to go downhill again until he ended up all psychotic (which is how we got to meet him during Renegades).

- Honey had way more complicated issues than just being “evil”. Yes. She’s dead. And me defending her won’t make her less dead. And I know she got what she deserved because she was…completely out of control and Marissa tends to kill those who are too far gone (take Levana as an example). But I think that if she hadn’t neglected her own mental health so much she would’ve had a chance; Honey had good in her :’) maybe, before meeting Ace, she was a different person. Like, it’s mentioned she grew up in a small farm. I think she fell in love with him at some point and, by the way he talks to her sometimes, I’m *almost* sure he knew that, so he tried to take advantage of the situation to keep her in line, even though he had no intention to reciprocate her feelings. Sure, Honey is a manipulative brat, but she’s a hundred times worse when she knows Ace is around or when she knows she has a chance to get him back (she goes batshit crazy in the cathedral, you know?). Ace was a power-hungry sociopath/psychopath and she was a depressed, also power-hungry woman who was in love with him. And that’s a BAD combination. Honey Harper was hopeless… and I think she even showed some signs of Stockholm Syndrome.

- Still, Honey and Nova’s relationship reminds me a lot of my relationship with my dad. Theirs was a toxic relationship, but since I’ve been through that (still going through that), I refuse to believe it will be easy for Nova to overcome her death *that* easily. They loved each other in a…violent, weird way, but Honey was Nova’s mother more than Tala ever got the chance to be (because Ace took that opportunity away from her) and if Honey hadn’t been so –like I mentioned before- hopeless, they could’ve fixed their relationship until it was normal and healthy, because Honey showed signs of loving Nova, and Nova showed signs of loving her.

- Every death in Supernova had a very specific narrative purpose but, even if I hate Evander as much as y’all do, I think his death was done for the sake of the shock factor afgshja like, he died in such a sudden, meaningless way :’).

- Tamaya is nothing but wasted potential. You have a savage, feral, badass woman with w i n g s and the only thing she does is getting her fucking face burned and throwing fists with entitled teenagers.

- I LIVE for Simon and Hugh as couple, but (gosh, saying this makes me feel really guilty) the fact that they didn’t share not even ONE kiss throughout the trilogy made me feel really queerbaited :’). Same thing happened with Danna and Narcissa, but I think that was PLAIN half-assed.

-Why doesn’t Adrian has Simon’s last name as well? :’)

- ADRIAN NEEDS THERAPY AS MUCH AS NOVA DOES. LET’S BREAK THIS DOWN, HERE WE GO:

*So, we know that Marissa Meyer’s male characters are always really sweet and kind and wholesome and omg :’)…and then there’s fucking Jacin (whom I love, but that doesn’t minimize the fact he shall burn in hell X’DDDD) . I mean, he’s kind…to Winter and Winter only…and Cress…sometimes. When it comes to Winter, he’s capable of a lot, A LOT of things. He comes off as rude many times (especially to Cinder, during Cress) and…yeah. He looks like he could kill you and he could ACTUALLY kill you; I feel like the fandom moves Adrian to …whatever category Kai’s in….but I’m not sure that’s the case. Let’s analyze Cinder’s equivalent to Nova’s bracelet: Peony’s chip; Kai was mad at Cinder, FUCKING mad. But once he kinda figured out Cinder was grieving his sister and keeping the only thing she had left from her for emotional reasons, he didn’t, under any circumstance, no matter how much he hated Cinder at the moment, want that chip to be taken away from her. Kai had lost his father. He KNEW what it felt like and he didn’t want anyone to feel the same way, because he SAW Cinder suffer her little sister’s death. Adrian had lost his mother and he knew Nova had lost both her mother and her father AND her little sister; she had opened up enough to tell him that bracelet was the only thing she had left from her father…and when he learned Nova was Nightmare, instead of interrogating her, taking a sample of her blood or things like that, he straight took her bracelet. Because Adrian was hurt and he wanted her to be hurt too, so he took away the one thing that mattered the most to her and THAT WASN’T VERY KAI OF HIM IF YOU ASK ME. My point is, sadly: Adrian is ABSOLUTELY traumatized due to his mother’s death (who wouldn’t?) and now that he knows he indirectly killed her he will only get WORSE. He hated Nova for being Nightmare just because he thought she had something to do with Georgia’s death, so when things went to shit, he did her in the dirtiest way he could, making her feel hated and unwanted, which were Nova’s delicate spots afgshja…like, Adrian’s capable of a lot of things(just like Jacin). He NEEDS therapy. Now.

- The heated kiss scene during Archenemies is both heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time (besides…you know, heated). Nova’s so touch-starved she gets overwhelmed when Adrian suddenly gives her all the physical affection she didn’t have during her childhood. And…I feel it was a very intimate moment between both of them, because they were physically and emotionally invested and omg. This only makes my previous point (about the bracelet) more horrible, because I can’t imagine how she must’ve felt when he took away her bracelet with so.much.hatred.

-WE DESERVED TO KNOW THE CHANGES THAT WERE MADE TO THE SYSTEM BC TBH THE RENEGADES SYSTEM WAS SHITTY AF… It’s like…they claimed to be against what the Anarchists did but then suddenly they were doing the same things themselves. And I don’t think that’s fair. The Renegades acted as messed up as the Anarchists during Supernova. They wanted to EXECUTE a MINOR who committed MINOR CRIMES. I mean, what did Nightmare even do? Right, she tried to assassinate Hugh but she FAILED, and she neutralized Team Frostbite in SELF-DEFENSE and in Max’s defense.

- Besides, the way Anarchists were treated was...really inhuman. As far as I understand, they didn’t have access to public services or anything like that. What if they needed meds? Where did they get their food from? Did they have, like, fucking running water? Electricity? There are also three women among them and they get *periods*, people, and *period stuff* is expensive as fuck. Like, did they have to steal tampons? And if they did…were they chased because of it? Even though they had no way to get income in a legal way because they were Anarchists and being out there like normal people was against the rules for them? Lol?

- JESUS THAT SYSTEM REALLY NEEDED TO BE CHANGED LMAO AFGSHJA

-Also, Cragmoor? Wtf.

- AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST, NOT BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY BUT BECAUSE THIS IS TOO LONG ALREADY: It think Nova and Evie have been apart for too long and it’s going to be hard for them to create a bond. They’ll have to get used to it, because it’s going to be confusing for Nova and, given the fact Evie’s personality is…like that, I think she’ll go as far to blame Nova like “But you were SUPPOSED to look for me.”

I rest my case.